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#or chat about any books that multiple ppl have read!
suashii · 3 months
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i am considering making a sideblog for like reading or a mini book club
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lilnavelorange · 1 year
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Intro: Hello there!
Name: Orange
Pronouns: She/her
Age: 24
Occupation: Full-time flirt (consensually, of course)
NSFW
I am a pansexual switch from Texas. I am also a cisgender Indian woman.
If I am spamming you, I am basically flirting with you tbh
If you are a minor, please do not interact with my page. I will not answer DMs to anyone below the age of 21.
If you are racist, homophobic, transphobic, islamaphobic, or are hateful towards any other marginalized group, you will be blocked. Also don’t try to fetishize me being Indian. I deal with enough outside of this and I would appreciate it if you didn’t sexualize my culture.
If you wanna DM me, you can. IF YOU ARE CREEPY I WILL BLOCK YOU. I am also NOT interested in being someone tickle slave, housewife, pet, or full-time submissive right now. If that changes, I will make an update. Respect me and treat me with kindness. If you just want to jump in and try to be my dom or sub without even getting to know me, you will get the boot.
Be gentle with me. I am already anxious enough so don’t scare me away.
Also, sad that I have to remind ppl of this but, CONSENT IS KEY. If you are not consensual and try forcing me into something without my approval, you will get blocked.
I do not feel comfortable sending pictures of me unless I already posted them. I am also not comfortable to meet in-person with anyone. I like my privacy, so be respect that.
My kinks:
Tickling, navel play, nipple play, voice, hands, overstimulation, body worship, praise, light bondage, blindfolds, light gagging, teasing, multiple orgasms, voyeurism, sensation play, temperature play, food play, checking how wet I am
What I am NOT into:
Penetration (including fingers and tongue), anal (also including fingers and tongue), choking, piss/scat/blood play, pain, edging/orgasm denial (I don’t like this one for myself, but I don’t mind doing it to others), crying, screaming, degradation, humiliation (especially public humiliation), CNC, r*peplay
Btw, I write tickle stories!
Here is the master list!
With that out of the way…I enjoy chatting with ppl so feel free to DM me.
Hobbies: Sewing, Baking, Reading
Movies I like: Wes Anderson films, The Menu, Matilda, Disney, Marvel
Shows I like: Mad Men, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Only Murders in the Building, WandaVision, The Good Place, Mister Rogers Neighborhood, UnBreakable Kimmy Schmidt
Conversation starters (in case you might be shy but wanna DM me)
What is your favorite Wes Anderson movie?
What is your favorite song?
What is the last book you read and would you recommend it?
If you had a sandwich named after you, what be in it?
What is your favorite color? (The answer will surprise you!)
What is your favorite thing to bake?
What food are you currently craving?
What type of music do you listen to?
What is your favorite flower?
You may simply ask me about The Darjeeling Limited.
I promise I am fun. Just get to know me and see.
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letssgolesbians · 2 years
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my depression tips:
* whenever you go to the bathroom, try to do one hygiene task like brushing your teeth, moisturising or washing your face, bc ur already in there so you might as well
* leave out clothes in the bathroom so if u feel like you have the energy to shower you don’t have to waste time on picking out clothes, you can just get straight in
* if u wanna shave but you don’t have the energy, u can get an electric shaver and shave in bed, you won’t get as much hair off but it still does something
* get some of those one time use, water free toothbrushes and keep some next to ur bed, and use some water and any empty bowl or container to spit the toothpaste into. you can also keep a mini mouthwash next to your bed
* for food, try to get ready made meals and frozen meals. i keep a mini fridge in my room with drinks and snacks so if i can’t make it down to the kitchen i have something to fuel my body with
* if u can’t clean your room, make a list in order of priority (mine is floor, bed and surfaces) and whenever you feel like u can or u get a random burst of energy, just do a little bit
* keep a waterbottle next to your bed, and if you have clean tap water refill it whenever you go to the bathroom. i usually use fizzy water and squash so i feel like i’m drinking soda but it’s much healthier
* if u can’t get out of bed but wanna feel more clean, change your underwear and your shirt, then use some dry shampoo and wipes on ur armpits and sweaty areas
* if u have pets, make them a priority bc they need you to live, and they care about you so much, so spending time with them will make u feel better and loved
* if u can’t brush ur hair, don’t tie it up bc it will turn into a rat’s nest and you just don’t wanna have to deal with that. even detangling it with your fingers is better than nothing. also braiding it will protect it
* if u can’t sleep, lying still and closing your eyes still is rly good rest, and if u don’t wanna be alone with your thoughts you can listen to a podcast (any true crime or mythology ones are my fave)
* buy multiple pairs of ur comfort outfits so you always have something you want to wear to change into
* try to get up and open your window to air your room out of the smell, incense also works well to cover it
* to keep you entertained, here are some ideas:
* listen to ur fave songs, podcasts or an audiobook
* browse some social medias (tiktok, reddit and tumblr are my faves)
* join a discord server and just kinda idle on that and watch ppl chat
* play a mindless game on ur phone or if u have a handheld device like a switch (on my phone i love life is strange and on my switch i’ve been playing legend of zelda: breath of the wild)
* read some fanfics on ur phone (all the young dudes is a must read)
* kids activity books of ur fave fandoms are rly fun
* read some webtoons (heartstopper is amazing)
* watching a game play through on youtube (minecraft and skyrim ones are my faves)
* rewatching ur comfort movies or watching some funny cartoons
* if u have a laptop, download sims and play that
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baeshijima · 3 years
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𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫!𝐚𝐥𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫!𝐲/𝐧
A/N : i have nothing to say other than the fact there will be an excessive amount of twitch slang bc why tf not + just,,, heavy streamer!albedo brainrot ;-;
masterlist
AIGHT
streamer albedo
pog—
so before we get into him being whipped for u, let’s go over the type of strimmer mr Kreideprinz is
fun fact that’s his twitch name—
albedo would be the type to do lots of variety streams of different games, but also the occasional art one if he wants to have a chill stream with his chat !!
speaking of chat… they’re an odd mix of wholesome supporters, KAPPA + POGGERS + catJAM (bc he always has some bangers on in the bg like yes u bless our ears my guy) + KEKW + EZ Clap + his own emotes spammers, mr albedo’s very own shrimps (me, ahEm—), and ppl who just appreciate his voice + gameplay
if there’s a troll he just bans them OMEGALUL
omg he has lots of emotes (which he made in some of his art streams so his viewers could choose some) for every scenario but we’ll get into the popular ones in a bit 👁👁
he’s most definitely one of the bigger, well-known streamers but with a smaller group of friends
his discord server has,,, a lot of ppl,,, 70k+ ppl big,,, rip notifs if ur in it ;-;
he has it muted tho 🐥 like, sir, that’s ur server pay the goddamn price smh
wait i forgot to mention this but he has his webcam on when streaming
so u can bet ur chickens that when ppl come to visit his stream bc of whatever category he has on, they stay for his visuals and voice <33
his twt 🤡 mans gets 1k+ likes, rts, comments within the first 5-10 mins
omg he gets soft when he receives sm support from his community 🥺🥺
gifts so many subs when hitting milestones, chat is wholesome or just whenever really HJKSDHKL 
also doesn’t swear much unless he gets played by his own game and/or someone is being incredibly annoying <//3
he also just,,, eats on stream
albedo straight up takes his webcam with him to show him cooking if his viewers ask for it
or he just orders food then and there and eats while chatting to everyone or watching youtube with his chat 🥺
nOW ONTO HIM BEING WHIPPED FOR U AS A GENSHIN STREAMER
this AR55 man 👩‍🦯
he can literally produce content from anything
from artifact farming, to spiral abyss, to running around mindlessly, to building characters he would normally never build, to him seeing how high up is considered too high to dive
and everyone eats it up bc it’s albedo <3
also !! he’s the type who includes the story quests in his streams so his reaction and thoughts on everything is just,,, there
now when u were first introduced in the prologue (yes ur one of the ogs + involved in the dvalin fight <33) he blanked and all his viewers could see was u on screen with him staring blankly in the bottom right of the screen
this man straight up saw u in a cutscene for one second and fell in love
his chat went wild omfg
he immediately made an emote for u and that’s his most popular one 😌
but i kid u not, the moment u appeared in that cutscene (one in which he will forever treasure in the crevices of his heart) was the moment he asked this exact question ;
“ so (y/n) banner when? ” 
and mihoyo heard his pleas and answered with ur event banner 
except it was like,, 4 months later 
at least ur finally here tho :’)
now he can have his lil science-y moments with ur voicelines ;-;
yes, ur the chief alchemist but ✨ 𝒅𝒊𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒕 ✨
. . .
shut up
n e who
when he saw the notification from mihoyo’s official forums that u will be a playable character in the new update — along with new characters, region, events & a domain — i shit u not he did a rt, his own tweet, an announcement on the community feature on youtube, and made constant reminders to his viewers on twitch abt how he will be a (y/n) haver no matter what
he even added future (y/n) haver in his twt display name
what a shrimp—
the 1.2 update stream 🐥 he was there waiting for it to go live with like,,, 19k viewers spamming his chat abt predictions and obv ur official release + showcase
and when i say this man fell even more in love while watching ur trailer and character showcase 🥺 he wouldn’t stop smiling or being in awe bc ur just??? so stunning???
mihoyo clearly has a favourite child and it’s u
chat was spamming ur exclusive emote like crazy oml
u can bet it was also flooded with lots of POGs and POGGERS 
overall it was a very fun, chaotic stream filled with lots of (y/n) appreciation and love <33
also a very memorable stream for all his viewers bc of the side of albedo they rarely see unless ur involved
the day ur banner was to go live tho 🐥
the streams leading up to the fateful day consisted of him farming ur mats 
that’s it
boss runs, local specialties, hero wits, talent books, the mats needed for ur weapon he was inevitably going to pull for (only the best for the best, afterall) and many domain runs
many painful domain runs
all of it was worth it tho bc ur worth everything :’)
an actual quote said by him—
at least he can get u and ur weapon to lvl 90 right off the bat with all the artifacts tailored for u ;-;
and get u to that point he did HJSDKJF
once ur banner dropped? immediately started wishing
2 multis in and he gets u 😣
albedo nearly cried and was the literal embodiment of head in hands
wHEN I SAY HIS CHAT BLEW TF UP AND HIS MODS JOINED IN
modCheck has left the chat
everyone’s rooting for him :’)
pulled for ur weapon and got it in 1 multi
sir give me ur luck pls and ty
but yes he nearly choked on the gASP he let out while chat screamed even more
he blanked for a bit, i won’t lie ;-;
but when he realised this was real, he immediately went to his party set up and put u in
can we all get an f in the chat for his lvl 10 tartaglia 😔💔👊
his chat usually rages at him to build him but if he’s being honest, he cba
ur vl when he put u in the party tho <333
now he’s just spent half an hour running around with u, letting u do ur idle animations (will always be grateful for mihoyo creating u like this), reading ur very limited (for now—) character story and going through ur voicelines 
ur morning & about us (when he unlocks it) voiceline >>>>> his heart be running laps rn i swear
eventually he does begin to build u after much admiration on his end and at lvl 1 with lvl 20 artifacts, u already have 1.6k atk 🐥
now after he levels u and ur weapon to lvl 90, u have 2.8k atk 🐥
rip mobs <//3
he now plays u as his main dps 😌
the kit initially designed for u is meant to be more for support?? kinda like the whole ganyu or zhongli debate abt them being a dps or a support/sub dps ;-;
except ur more utility like venti or bennett
and even though the majority said at the beginning (aka, mihoyo, pretty much any other streamer and the larger part of the fanbase) that ur meant for support, he said fuck that and built u as his main dps
and i won’t lie, u do more damage than any of his characters, and ppl who co op with him
ur his pride and joy :’)
he went to take a look at ur consts to see if they were worth the rng suffering and, lo-and-behold,
they were
so now he’s using all his saved primos for u to try and get ur c6 const, along with making ur weapon r5 :’)
his chat gets a free view of him internally suffering when the gold light doesn’t come, and his external suffering when he loses the 50/50
in the end, he decided to whale for u <33
after nearly an hour, he has u to c6 and ur weapon to r5 ;-;
now all he’s been doing the whole stream is running around with u in open world, doing his daily farming, doing more domain and boss runs, exploring the new region (dragonspine) + ur story quest
he’s saving the event quest for another stream bc ✨content✨ 
in ur quest, he had multiple heart attacks and now has many, many screenshots <3
he now has a zoomed in pic of ur face as his twt pfp <33
okay so i also feel like he’s not all that bothered abt getting characters to friendship level 10 immediately and would rather let it happen through time
but obv ur not any other character *proceeds to debby ryan at u*
even if ur not fit for a particular domain or boss, he still puts u in the party so when collecting the blossom/rewards, u can get the friendship exp ;-;
he just wants ur name card so he can show off okay 🥺
when he lets his viewers pick out the playlist, 98% of the songs are from ur character demo theme 
they just know him so well 😩
they also just wanna see the way he smiles when he hears it play but shhhhhh
now he just has his in-game avatar as u, and ur namecard too <33
also his signature is just ;
“ (y/n)’s favourite streamer ”
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ninekings · 3 years
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i was tagged by @mandalorr what a queen <333
rules: answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you want to get to know better
Name/Nickname: rachel
Gender: woman (she/her) 
Star sign: pisces sun, scorpio moon, gemini rising
Height: 5′2
Time: it’s 1:45pm for me
Birthday: feb 25!!
Favorite bands: the maine, cold war kids, mcr, mother mother, the mountain goats, death cab for cutie 
Favorite solo artists: hozier, orville peck,,, tbh i don’t listen to a lot of solo artists
Song stuck in your head: verbatim by mother mother, scotty doesn’t know by lustra, and all the things she said by tatu sdfhkhdj
Last movie: love actually (the only valid christmas movie besides bridget jones’s diary)
Last show: supernatural, unfortunately
When did I create this blog: oh my god this is actually so beyond embarrassing but in like 2012 i saw people posting about the m*shapocalypse and my middle school brain thought it was the funniest thing ever so.... now i’m trapped here <3
What I post: i try to stick to mostly pretty pictures bc that makes me happy but lately i have Not been able to shut up about supernatural so.... sorry abt that (this blog has truly seen it all tho.... if any of y’all remember me as anotherpointlessmcrblog circa 2013,,, good times. i also was a marvel and lord of the rings blog at 1 point + that’s where ninekings comes from lol)
Last thing I googled: how to format a block quote in MLA 
Other blogs: none that are active anymore
Do I get asks: no but pls come talk to me!! i have lots of Thoughts about supernatural at the moment but pls feel free to message me about anything xoxo
Why I chose my url: i accidentally answered this earlier but it’s a lotr reference but it’s also vague enough that i can also pass it off as like just aesthetic yk
Following: around 200! if anybody has any good aesthetic/fashion blogs pls send them my way
Followers: ~1350 but i think like 85% of that is from long-abandoned blogs so there are like 30 ppl at most who see my posts at this point. i rly just chat into the void in the tags 
Average hours of sleep: i just finished finals and i smoke too much sooooo lately i’ve been averaging around 12-14
Lucky number: 7
Instruments: piano, violin, and guitar. haven’t touched any of them in years tho 
What I’m wearing: my male manipulator fit (faded t shirt, flannel, beanie + as a bonus, my clear plastic glasses) and booty shorts that say “enemy of the state”, courtesy of @ayahoes
Dream job: ummm i literally have no idea LMAOO i’ve changed my major multiple times and i’m currently a history major (again) so i think i’ll prob end up teaching at a university or something like that!!
Dream trip: i want to visit old castles in europe but i also wanna go on a road trip across the US in a van so idk
Favorite food: taco bell black bean crunchwrap <33
Nationality: i’m american!!! (not to be That white person but my dad’s family is irish/scottish and my mom’s fam is eastern european jewish)
Favorite song(s): culture vulture by morning parade and all i want by adtr at the moment!!
Last book: the last book i finished was circe by madeline miller + i just started caliban and the witch by silvia federici (if ur reading this, send me book recommendations pls!!!)
Top 3 fictional universes I wanna live in: def harry potter and the lord of the rings. not sure abt the 3rd but maybe dragon age?? idk it kinda sucks there LMAO
anywho i hope you’re all having a great day/holiday season!! i’m just gonna tag the first few people who come up bc i don’t rly talk to too many people on here besides like irl friends so uhhh sorry if this is annoying lol xoxo
i tag: @ayahoes @bleakvisions @beachcommxnity @corktreees @frankierohugejorts @izzuue @ceaseium @lesbianfen @contrision @ispeakintypos @greatcomets @plague8 and anybody else who wants to do it!! 
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gemini-system · 3 years
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If you're a friend or a mutual that cares, please read if you like. Sorry it's a novel long..
TLDR: I have a split personality disorder. Please accept me for who I am. (Though I would really appreciate you reading this)
There's a lot about my battle with mental health that I never told a single soul, despite being an open book pretty much all of the time. There were things even I never told anyone about, or maybe only hinted at, because I either had no name for them and could not explain that, or just plain fear not a single person would believe me, or think that I just wanted attention.
A couple months ago, I met my current boyfriend, and upon opening up cautiously for the second time about these issues, was finally given a name for them, and what I could do to make life easier living with them, and it changed everything. I was originally gonna just drop an explanation in my friends group chat since I haven't talked to them in a long time and wanted to give a life update, but dropping it all just felt like kind of a lot and I still have the anxiety that they won't believe me. So I'm talking here instead (I'll probably link this to them) But I just have to let it all out, and this is my only non-streaming centric account that is not linked back to on any of my videos, so I feel like I can dump it here.
To brass tax:
Starting at the end of middle school, I started developing symptoms of a sister illness to DID (multiple personality disorder). This sister illness is little known about and while it doesn't have a concrete name, some call it Division. Division is when, due to trauma, a set of bottled up emotions, ideas, and anxieties form into a split personality with it's own identity and can manifest in various ways, pretty similar to DID. The thing is with these illnesses, since everyone who has them experiences them differently in their own way, it's hard to know EXACT symptoms. And that, coupled with the fact all my google searches bring up nothing about it, is why I have always feared no one will believe me.
"Why Division? Why not just say you have DID?" I was told, in order to have DID, there must be two separate and distinct personalities from the host. And so I would not qualify because I have only one separate personality. If I am wrong about this, I have no issue with you sending me a polite ask about it, as it would be a lot easier to just say "I have DID" and tell ppl to do their own google search lol.
Fair enough, so why do I have all this anxiety my loved ones won't believe me?
Here is the part where it might get a little cringey to some, but I am an artist and writer, and all my life, art has been the way I express all my feelings and vent things without having to state them outright.
I had always feared being a bad person. From the trauma of the CSA I endured for 2 years, from gaslighting, to my father verbally abusing and threatening me and my mother with physical violence from a young age, I feared being a bad person more than anything else.
Every time I got angry, or talked back, or even just tried to stand up for myself, I feared I was or would become a bad person, and I thought to myself that I just needed to take all of those things I deemed bad, and put them into something or someone else so that I would no longer fear being a bad person. This other thing could be bad so I wouldn't have to "risk hurting people I loved" I had no idea what 'splitting' was or that I was even doing it. And that personality began to form.
As I began to draw more often, my symptoms surfaced simultaneously. "Hearing" thoughts in my head that weren't mine (not really hearing but it's hard to explain), horrible intrusive visions and thoughts, and then finally a little ways down the line swapping with eachother time to time, and another occurrence I call "snapping" where I swap suddenly out of anger or distress and lash out at others or have some kind of meltdown. I learned how to fight and control the swapping, I tried with all my might to make sure no one ever found out I was "crazy". Even my therapists. As for snapping, I couldn't control it, so he mostly came out that way.
I needed to vent through art somehow or I was going to explode. He had named himself, and told me what he looked like, and so I basically started a game of 4D fucking chess and told everyone "this is my new OC haha" and started from there, deciding to take a fan comic I was making, and rework it to put him at the center and make it original. I figured toting him as just a character I created that was important to me was easier than trying to explain or possibly have to prove to people that I had a split personality who was very real, with his own identity. I thought maybe I cold vent without people thinking I was crazy or some kind of special snowflake. 
Looking back it's kind of funny because a lot of my venting was pretty on the nose with hints all over, so I'm surprised if at least one person didn't pick up on it lol. At one time during a breakdown, I even tried to explain that "Jet is mean and starting to scare me" and then realized my friends confusion as they reassured me he was a fictional character I made up. Which totally wasn't their fault because I totally dug that hole myself. I just felt a compulsive need to hide everything I was really going through.
For those who know about the character Jet, you may be a bit concerned because he is written to be a serial killer, but from years of writing development, Let me tell you, he is very overwritten and the Jet from the story is pretty different now from the "real" Jet in my head. If he wanted to actually end someone he would have done it by now and landed my ass in prison. He's mostly just a bully and goblin.
This post is already years long, so I won't bore you with our life story, especially if you think I'm making it all up. So here's my conclusion.
I hope you believe me, and accept me for who I am. This is the full and honest truth, and is a huge part of me that I just don't want to hide anymore. I want to be able to talk about my experience without sugar coating and leaving out information. I like being an open book, and this secret has been killing me. It took a lot of courage to type this all out to the world. I wouldn't mind telling you about our life together, what he's really like, and all the things I've learned from this strange, stressful, and sometimes wonderful journey.
If you don't believe me, that's fine. You can call me a liar, or say I'm delusional, or leave me. I'll never talk about it to you again, and I can just keep hiding it around you. I truly hope you realize that this is my truth.
Thank you for your time.
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madd-information · 5 years
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This is long so I submitted it this way instead of sending in like 1,000 asks. Hope that’s okay?
Hi I’m Twoot and idk if I have (have? Is that the right term?) madd but I might and I’m looking into it. I’ve tried to do some research but idk how well it matches up. For as long as I can remember I’ve sort of created my own worlds or pretended that I was part of some that already existed (based off of youtubers, shows, books, etc. When I was younger it was a big mix of me as a person experiencing it and a character as me experiencing it but recently it’s just been me as characters) It’s not *all* of my life but when I sat down to write this all out I realized how much it happens. and I’m an only child living with only my dad so i didn’t have many real ppl to play w growing up and I have a lot of alone time. I spend a lot of my (mostly) alone time (walking to and from school, being home alone, in bed at night (so much plot in the stories/worlds I build happens at night), and even sometimes in social situations,, tho it depends) doing what I have dubbed in the latest years “The Characters Thing” (I’m just going to call it TCT for now bc I’m not %100 sure if it’s madd or not so that’s just what I’m going to refer to it as here)
Usually when I get into something (bc of my adhd when I get into a fandom type thing I hyperfixate and *rly* get into it) my whole world revolves around that thing. I create a sort of au and story in my head and they often times never wrap up before moving on to the next one. While I’m involved in one of my hyperfixations I usually do TCT about them and start a storyline which I continue throughout my day. These can last from one afternoon (tho that’s p uncommon) to months. They change as my hyperfixations change bc once I tire of those the characters/world no longer interest me and my hyperfixations usually last for a couple months. Right now I’m into Moomin so for example I would be Snufkin or the Joxter (it switches who I am A Lot depending on what’s happening in the story/ where I am while I’m doing TCT bc I don’t know if what I’m experiencing is actually madd) and go thru parts of the story I’m making as them. I don’t think of myself as becoming them ig?? Looking back I’m still me,, I’m the body,, the one experiencing things but during TCT the concept of “Twoot” (me) is gone and I perceive things and react to situations (irl or in the story in my head) as the character. It’s never in third person as I am always a certain character and even if I imagine others I do not act as them even tho I sort of control them. Another thing I forgot to add is that I can switch between what character I am. It often varies from world to world and story to story but sometimes I switch characters randomly bc my mood changes and the way I’m acting would better fit another character or my hyperfixation might shift and maybe a different character seems more appealing at that time. It’s like when you’re reading a fic and some of the chapters are in the POV of a different character. Tho for me it’s never third person no matter what. I always see it thru the eyes of the character I am.
There can sometimes be multiple worlds/stories happening at the same time which sometimes stumps me on what one to continue with when I do TCT. The stories never happen at the same time but if there are stories that are super short (last for only an afternoon or so,, but again these are super rare) there might be characters from multiple things in the same place. One recently for me was a world of me walking back from school after a stressful class where two characters (strongly tied to emotions. The three characters here are the only ones that are tied to emotions and pop up when I am feeling a certain emotion. Tho there are exceptions like there’s a character that always pops up when I’m stimming.) Who represent pettiness and anger (Marvin from Falsettos being the main one. (The only time when I act as him is when I am feeling petty or selfish and angry bc falsettos isn’t my hyperfixation anymore and I wasn’t usually him when it was my hyperfixation) Little my from Moomin was the other but unlike Marvin me feeling angry isn’t the only time she pops up bc that’s not all she’s included for and she’s part of my current hyperfixation) where talking to me (At the moment I was snufkin from the Moomins who i use to make my emotions stable bc he is always calm and collected. He’s also the main character I am rn bc he’s my favorite and from my current hyperfixation) even tho Marvin is not from Moomin and little my and snufkin aren’t from falsettos. This kind of world with mixing characters and it being so short (only lasted for half of my walk home) is v v uncommon tho it does happen. It is also an example of one of the kinds of situations that happen when I do TCT.
There are three kinds.
One: Real world. This is where the characters (Sometimes just the character I am and sometimes there are others around me) are responding to things that are happening around me activity. Example: Worrying about a test I have, playing a video game, or doing something activity that is happening irl. This can easily bleed into the second type if I am doing something nonspecific like walking home or eating dinner.
Two: Imaginary situations: This is where I am doing something during TCT that I am not doing in the real world. Example: irl I am in bed but durning TCT I am walking around the forest(little irl movement and acting bc I am lying down and I cannot speak bc I might be heared by my dad) or irl I am just home alone but during TCT I am going shopping with another character (a lot of irl movement. I can talk, run around, grab props to use and use them, etc.)
Three: Including other people: This is why it doesn’t affect my social situations negatively. This is where I am interacting with other people and see myself as one character and those around me as others. This usually follows the rules of the forst kind bc I base things around what is actually happening. If I am around my little cousins sometimes I can play with them and suggest what we play using the world I’m focused on at the time (it’s not that weird bc I’m 14 and we don’t see each other that often but when we do we’re all v close and it’s not as weird or forced as it sounds) and I’m the character I am at that time and might even suggest them to be other characters from it. If not this can actually star a branching work with my cousins ocs as characters that I might or might not use if I continue that branch. If I am around friends we don’t play that often anymore bc were all about 14 so we play less and less but there was a long lasting hyperfixation that rly was great for TCT bc my friends where into it at the same time and often played and/or rped as these characters. So sometimes they might play along but most of the time for type three I only imagine them to be other characters. I assign them a character that matches who they are and hang out with them as I act on the way my character as they and build the story in my head as things happen irl. Examples: irl I’m eating dinner at a restaurant with my dad and grandparents but during TCT I am the character eating dinner with the other characters in the world in my characters dining room, irl I am in the ocean on a beach trip with my friends but during TCT I am a Character that is trapped on an island and swimming to somewhere else with the few other characters for company, or irl I am in a car going to a friends house while it’s late with her mom driving us but during TCT I am the character on a train traveling to to town for the first time to go to an inn while I chat with a character that is a stranger (even if irl she’s my best friend) and the nosy lady in front of us who keeps interrupting our generally peaceful train ride
I am always aware that I am doing TCT and usually (I think? I’ve never tried to specifically shut down any “sessions” of TCT) in control of when it stops/starts and there is no inner world. I am aware of what the body is seeing, hearing, feeling, etc. irl but TCT is happening on top of it(?)
If there are other characters besides just me in a scene (unless I’m with other people and assign them a character that suits them in my head) I see them even tho they’re not there? They are invisible but I can tell what they look like and where they are at any given time. In the “scenes” im never “transported” anywhere. Sort of. I can decide where the room I’m in is in the story (like I say that my room is really the inside of a tent or that the restaurant I’m in is the dining room of my character’s house) but it’s the same as how the characters look. I perceive everything as it is but imagine that things look different. This also happens with real people I assign characters to in my head. My eyes see the people but my brain, ig in my minds eye sees what the character they “are” looks like.
There are multiple different reasons that TCT happens for me. Most of the time it’s because I’m bored (I have adhd-pi (the inattentive type) so this happens quite a lot) but I also use it to deal with situations I want to personally distance myself from.
Like because I have sensory issues it’s Awful for me that I have to go out to eat with my grandparents every week and have to hear them chew food. So I start doing TCT and handle things how my character would handle it. If I end up spiraling and breaking down then TCT is torn away and my mind stops thinking of that as I am too preoccupied with the breakdown (usually dealing with personal things so it’s harder to place a character on it)
I have recently started to use TCT to my advantage during breakdowns and either acting as a more stable character they ig to calm themself down OR be Twoot (me) (this is v uncommon for me this past year or so unless it’s to do what I’m explaining now) and have the characters “there with me” to calm me down. It all depends on the specific experience.
What makes me question if madd is what I’m experiencing or not is bc It doesn’t usually affect my social life; if I’m doing TCT I just have my friends/family be other characters (tho I don’t tell them this ofc) and it’s not like an actual dream. I still experience reality while it’s happening and it’s not too vivid (I have memories of the parts of stories like they really happened but as I explained before things seem sort of transparent so they aren’t too detailed) also it’s not third person. I have to experience it in first person weather I’m acting it out (this is ideal, I do this if I’m home alone or walking somewhere alone. If I can’t speak and move around to act them out I mouth things out and imagine that I am doing the things, but not rly bc I imagine doing things in first person if that makes sense, or if I rly have to it all happens inside my head but that’s only if I’m in a social situation where I can’t move around. If I’m in a social situation with friends I can move around in I move and and act in the ways that the character I am at the moment would/ is in my story and have my friends be the characters while I build the story around what is happening irl)
If there’s anything else I should explain but at this time that is all I can think of to share. I hope this makes sense. If it’s not madd do you have any idea what it could be?
I always thought me doing this was normal then when I realized it wasn’t I thought it was just my adhd but I had kind of realized it might be something else and it made me think after I brought up the fact that I did this to my therapy group as a way to distance Myself from situations that are uncomfortable and deal with stress so I decided to do some digging and madd seemed rly close but I thought I’d ask someone before I go and self diagnose let alone talk to my dad about it.
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notjanine · 5 years
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2018 pop culture ranked
(highly subjective!)
MOVIES:
10. hotel artemis- everyone who didn’t like this movie is wrong. i know they advertised it as a john wick, but it’s not and that’s okay! accept it as-is, and it’s Good.
9. sorry to bother you- do i really need to explain
8. hereditary- i’m STILL mad at those last ten minutes for scaring me! toni collette is god
7. overlord- exactly what i wanted it to be. gross and fun! uglass wyatt russell COULD
6. the favourite- pls never let yorgos lanthimos write a movie ever again just stick to directing good scripts buddy!! bc i loved this!
5. spider-man: into the spider-verse- lissen. i know this should be higher. it’s near perfect. but
4. mission: impossible- fallout- i’m glad tom cruise has some weird danger fetish so he keeps making these. and that bathroom fight?? i’m still [redacted]
3. widows- name one flaw in this movie, i’ll wait.
okay okay okay. we all know what belongs at the top of this list. we all know what the best movie of the year was. but. it’s so close for me i’m gonna call it a tie
1. black panther- obviously
1. U P G R A D E - the first fight scene alone is better than every other movie on this list? give lmg an oscar for this; he’s got a Face and he USES it. and the cinnamontography?? what even is everyone else doing with cameras?? fling them shits around to make it look cool ppl. NOTE: i went into this movie knowing only -not tom hardy is in it -something about cyborgs. that’s it. don’t watch the trailer. go in knowing as little about it as possible. as a matter of fact, forget everything i’ve said about it up til this point. blacklist it on here bc i’m gonna post about it more. just watch it.
honorable mentions: the night comes for us (hot), game night (fun, and better than it needs to be!), ant-man and the wasp (hella bad science, but i enjoyed it a lot anyway???), death of stalin (iannucci), pacific rim: uprising (boyega is a star. eastwood is a good token white guy. A+ villainy tbh)
ALBUMS:
(not including scores/soundtracks!)
10. starcrawler - starcrawler - cut the sleeves off your t shirts, let your black nail polish chip, don’t clean your apartment for a couple days, put this on and channel your inner amanda brotzman
9. nobody’s watching - steady holiday - i know we’re all sick of whisper-singing breathy ingenues, but she’s my fave okay. 
8. prisma tropical -  balún - don’t you wanna feel like you’re in like a digital caribbean dreamscape??
7. dirty computer - janelle  monáe - again, i know this should be higher, but. it just doesn’t have the hit rate i want it to. does have some instant classics tho. miss monáe invented pussy with pynk and we have to respect that
6. isolation - kali uchis - She!!! this album is a PARTY
5. 7 - beach house - when black car comes on my consciousness instantly leaves my body to undulate in some dark starlit ether until lose your smile gradually brings me back to earth but i’m only approximately 60% corporeal until last ride finishes and i go to bed (yeah this is a nighttime album only)
4. soil - serpentwithfeet - bruh i was like six months late to this but holy shit. like multiple times during my initial listen i had to be like HE REALLY. when he said “i’m annoyed with clothes today / i’d rather swaddle myself in sorrow today” i FELT that
3. smote reverser - oh sees - jams all the way down
2. tu - alien weaponry - BANGERS ALL THE WAY DOWN
1. hive mind - the internet - morgan rhodes said this whole album makes you wanna rollerskate and that’s it. that’s the feeling. so good. smooth. fun. perfect.
honorable mentions (be the cowboy (i know, i know), acrylic, saturn, the hex, el mal querer, mozaik, the calling, double negative)
BONUS- EPs: (all of these would’ve made in into the top ten if they counted as full albums)
- the beauty of everything pt. 1 - alex isley - what a follow up to luxury!! i put this on in the morning a lot, set a good vibe for the day.
- conexão - amber mark - so good so good. this is a self-care soundtrack. put it on. light some candles. do a face mask. take a bath. braid your hair.
- crush - ravyn lenae - bops on bops. listening to this makes me feel like a girl in a way that is inexplicable??? like night song comes on and i’m. oh yeah! being a girl IS good and fun!
BOOKS:
(these are NOT all from this year, but i didn’t actually read many from this year, so this is just ~1/3 of what i did read, my faves, and the order’s only kind of correct, i didn’t put a ton of thought into ranking them but)
10. the shadowed sun by n.k. jemisin - loved it, but has one trope i HATE.
9. the hundred thousand kingdoms by n.k. jemisin - loved it. and the whole naha thing... made me feel some type of way (that #5 reinforced)
8. consider the fork by bee wilson - look. it’s a book about kitchen utensils. not for everyone. but i thoroughly enjoyed it.
7. the haunting of hill house by shirley jackson - oh man!!! spooky (idk why but my brain automatically fancast eleanor - nikki amuka bird, theo - tessa thompson, luke - billy magnussen)
6. don’t panic by neil gaiman - i read it THROUGH getting a tattoo. like lying in an uncomfortable position, exposed in a public space, with lots of people chatting and loud music. it’s that interesting and amusing (esp considering it was written before the trilogy was finished). but i’m a douglas adams nerd.
5. all but the bloody mouth by becca de la rosa - i read this all in one sitting on a rainy day when i should have been doing other things but i could not put it down. and i cried and i don’t even know why?? p sure i just got possessed by a swamp demon or something. would recommend
4. kindred by octavia butler - auntie octavia was that bitch
3. of things gone astray by janina matthewson - i would literally die for this woman. between this book and wtw she’s gotten more individual shoutouts in my gratitude journal than any other person (i think she’s second only to gus for 2018) (seriously though listen to within the wires s1 might be my single favorite piece of fiction in the universe)
2. the killing moon by n.k. jemisin - this is everything i want a fiction book to be i think. i forced myself to slow down on this just to enjoy it for longer.
1. the cooking gene by michael twitty - i would make this book into a horcrux. 
honorable mentions: alice isn’t dead (great monsters!), gulp (gross but cool), the patternmaster series (wild seed is my FAVE, but i read that one last year), sing unburied sing (ghosts), children of blood and bone (fantasy!), the shadow cabinet (the shades of london is my ya guilty pleasure i just fucking love ghosts okay and the first one is legitimately Scary)
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inactivesimblrr · 6 years
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get to know me tag!
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tagged by @literalite (thank u lamer clone!) n im not tagging anyone bc.............. every1 i think i know has already been tagged so thats calm, there r 125 questions below!
1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? Pat[REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED]
2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? pat
3. BIRTHDAY? 23rd of nov!!!!! <3 (2001)
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? hmhmhnnnn,,,,, lotr, the hobbit, harry potter, anything from the grishaverse,,, idk man i like books a lot,,, the raven cycle,,, hnmgmg,,
5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? aliens 100% i believe in them! ghosts? i mean... i half kind of do half dont but my kind of ghost aint the same as the usual idea of a ghost yanno? mine r nicer <3
6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? leigh bardugo, tolkien, i would say j.k rowling but shes trash! her books r good tho ://
7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? ??? idk so im gon pretend this means podcast and in that case im listening to the black tapes rn! 
8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? matcha or strawberry!!!!!!
9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? thats swag (i began using it ironically but now i cant stop)
10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? uhhh eve or the wonderful world by mark joshua! orrr shiloh by little chief!! 
11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? grinned
12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO?  walking back to georgia by jim croce
13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? honestly.... drop dead diva... im sorry.... but tbh i dont watch tv all that often!! ACTUALLUY HECK i would def recommend merlin the bbc tv series and ofc sherlock the tv series but keep in mind both those recs will rip out your heart MULTIPLE times,
14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN? .......... im down all the time lolol but tbh all the harry potter films + the 1st fantastic beasts movie, all the lotr films and all the hobbit films AND sherlock both the rdj and jude law films and then the bbc sherlock christmas special the abominable bride
15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? yah! my all time favourite game is tes oblivion!! it has been my fav since i was 6!
16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? my life not working out the way i want to!! i want my life to be happy and long and spent with the people i love and not having 2 worry abt money or health!!!
17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? i think maybe my ability to find everything funny??
18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? my temper is beyond vicious honestly like im not kidding my temper is.... disgusting
19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? birds
20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? winter
21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? nah!
22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? im still a kid im only 17!!! and uh,, i miss the innocence!! i miss being oblivious!!
23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? i dont have one!
24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? brownn w/ a bit of green!
25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? dark brown!
26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? my parents and my family!
27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? jude law, sebastian stan, emma stone
29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? back to school shopping!! also i get to eat fried chicken and cheesecake tonight because even tho my birthday was yesterday im celebrating it today!!!!
30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? stationery??? video games?? FOOD??
31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? jane and the dragon!
32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? i dont know what a male is sorry
33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? a baby bit only
34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? n’aw i dont think so!
35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT? i mean... if i weren’t as ugly as i am id love to be in front of a camera doing fun acting stuff or whatnot! but bc i am ugly im usually behind the camera + i do film at school!
36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? lettering/calligraphy!
37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? what if its us by becky abertalli + adam silvera (its so cute but the ending was.... not satisfactory...)
38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? fantastic beasts the crimes of grindelwald!!!
39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? used 2 play piano, accordion, and violin! but i dont do tht anymore!
40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? bird!! 
41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? too many 2 pick from !!! im srry!
42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? gdgs all of them!!!!! maybe the power to warp reality bc i could do anything then?? a reality where im married to jude law or emma stone? done, a reality where i have all the powers in the world? done
43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? a cliff somewhere where its cold and the water is vicious underneath!
44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? babies, animals, happy couples, pregnant people, old people, a lot of things really!
45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? i used 2 do karate but now i dont do sports!
46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? idfsng idk! strawberry milkshake maybe?? matcha boba??? milk!!
47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? last week!!! i love handwriting!
48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? nah!
49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? ppl who r rude for no reason and also ppl at school who just pick on other ppl for no reason looking at you rahni teagan and the other f*ckheads!!! hope u die literally i know thats a horrible thing to say but you all deserve it
50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? i went to two twenty one pilot concerts!! the first one was in the forum in melbourne and then the other one was a few years or one year later and it was in a sold out stadium!! both were in the mosh! and then idk if this counts as a concert but i went to and did the meet and greet for dan and phil’s first tour! i dont like them anymore tho ! ://
51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? no way in HELL!!!!
52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? a lot of things!!! famous actress, spy, war general, prime minister, pro wrestler, explorer, cartographer, filmmaker, architect, interior designer, dragon, PIRATE
53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? i know this is a bad idea but honestly the harry potter universe PROVIDED i had magic!! bc like,,, yah
54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? a lot of things! my future mainly lol :(
55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? no but i gotta say sometimes in the middle of the night when i wake up and the undefined shape my clothes sitting on my desk chair looks like That i get a bit worried yanno it looks like a demon im not gonna lie
56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? ya but i dont htink im any good at it!
57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? only due to sickness, funerals, or holidays!
58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? my house! OR the cliffs of moher :o)
59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? in some old old old european castle in the middle of nowhere on a mountain and next to the sea
60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? nuu :( but i do feed a lot of birds that come to my house and ive named them and love them even if the lorikeets dont love me back which is fine!!!! :(
61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? early bird i guess
62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER? sunsets??
63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? yes! but i dont have my full lisence only my learner’s permit!!
64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? headphones (noise cancelling!!)
65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? yup!! they were green!!
66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? soft rock, indie folk, indie-everything mainly except for indie-rock,,, country music dont hate my i love country music as long as its certain country music!! aint having none of this keith urban rubbish in my house!! we only listen 2 the james taylor brand of country music in this house!!! so i guess country folk. folk music in general is my jam!!! i love ballads as well and ofc blues!! theres so many more jbdsgjbas but i cant possibly list all of it!!!
67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? the idea of me living out the future i want if that makes sense!
68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? yah!!
69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? a lot of things honestly!!!! 2 many to list im really passionate!
70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? real book but i read more on electronic devices bc its easy and i dont have to worry about lights !!
71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? idk!!!!!!!! maybe history!
72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? nup!! im an only child thanK GOD
73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? movie tickets to crimes against grindelwald last night!!
74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? i think im like 176cm??
75. CAN YOU COOK? only if i have a recipe! but i can make really good drinks (non alcoholic ofc!!)
76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? rainy weather, good literature, my family
77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? hubris, wrath, pococurantism
78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? female
79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? ?????????? who knows
80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? australia!!
81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? my group chat
82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? my birthday yesterday lol
83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? dont want youtube tht much anymore tbh
84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? nah
85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP? procreate
86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE? incredibly close with both parents but fight with my dad like cats n dogs
87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? irish or strong strong american or posh english also scottish
88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT? israel, republic of ireland, and so many more places like nksgskbgs i cant list them also all the nordic countries
89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 3
90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? no
91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? nah 
92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OF THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? both!!!!!! 
93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? daring in terms of i like to do things that could potentially kill me for the adrenaline rush but not daring in terms of introducing myself to other ppl lol
94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? nah thank GOD
95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? oui
96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? non
97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? ill happily admit i’m wrong provided the other person wasnt a douchebag about it but even then ill admit im wrong! aint no shame in recognising ur wrong ma dude
98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? dont like the beach but i love the sea?? so forest i guess bc i dont like sand
99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? "two things stand like stone, kindness in another’s trouble, courage in your own” - adam lindsay gordon
100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? an excellent one, but i dislike lying and value honesty so!!
101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? ssssss slytherin!
102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? ya
103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? cop out answer here but it depends on the situation
104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? yes
105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? depends
106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? try and find the owner and track em down but if i cant ill hand it in to the place where it was lost
107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? yes
108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? yes
109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? yes
110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? ears but theyre closed up!!
111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? thorin oakenshield
112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? nah
113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? ? idk man
114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? no, too many bad people are living good lives right now
115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? nope! perfect vision here my dude!
116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? in the future i want 1 child only
117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? my little cousin
118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? a Lot
119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? a few times only, but i value sleep
120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOU CLOTHES? black and green
121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? hell ya !
122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? audience member for the xfactor!
123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 17
124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? “so comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings.” -tolkien OR “always seek the giant.”
125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS? savoury
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crowned-ladybug · 6 years
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@theglitterbombsystem @janisilverstorm <3
Okay now I realise that the catalyst for me giving this AU more thought was probably this fic, which I read a couple days ago when I was feeling too shit to even sit up (and if you like V:LD and feel up for a long fic, I highly recommend you read it. It's amazing). I've been wanting a more magical AU where magic is a more everyday concept for ages and I guess this fic gave me the final push for it (esp knowing I got hopelessly stuck with "Normality"/the Mundane Magic AU and I’ll forever mourn it).
Also, if you notice any egos missing from this (which you will), it's bc I have no idea yet how to put them into this. Suggestions on that and just in general are absolutely welcome
Tbh the basic idea was just that what if Marvin had a magic shop but not the kind where he sells like loaded dice and weird card decks and other fake magic props but one that's like. actual magic. like he sells spells and charms and actual magic ingredients and supplies and breaks minor curses and stuff.
The whole shop is just a lot of clutter but in a very endearing fashion. There's countless shelves full of containers labelled with indecipharable handwriting and all sorts of books, from recent paperbacks with white lines all over their covers and spines from being opened so much, to heavy leather-bound ones written in all sorts of languages. There are plant pots sitting on every horizontal surface and hanging from the ceiling, housing all sorts of herbs and some entirely decorative plants, the labels stuck to each pot already too faded to read, and Marvin doesn't bother to redo them because he knows what all of them are anyway. There's charms and strings of beads and ornaments made of glass and wood and clay hanging from the ceiling, from the corners of shelves and from the armada of lopsided hooks in what little free space remains on the walls. Most of the lighting is via floating balls of light, easily spells maintained constantly by Marvin's magic. A lot of them are placed on the shelves here and there in jars, because they have a habit of wandering off, getting stuck behind stuff or bothering the costumers by getting tangled in their hair or clothes or somehow making their way into their bags. There's a counter in the back where Marvin spends most of his time, made of now scratched and scorched mahogany wood with golden ornamentation, more fit to be a hotel's reception desk than the counter in a small, cluttered magic shop in a thin old town street. The windows have colourful patterns and pictures painted over them and when the sun shines in through them, the same colours are cast onto the floor. Inside the shop everything seems to have a golden tint to it despite the windows otherwise just being regular glass, and it smells of the potted herbs and a bit of cinnamon.
Varjú the hooded crow is Marvin's familiar and assistant. He knows the name of p much all ingredients and trinkets and can fetch them for Marvin, but then again, Marvin can just levitate them to himself too. Varjú's more important purpose is watching the shop if Marvin is not there, helping deal with costumers, keeping Marvin company and helping his magic remain stable and focused during harder tasks. He can also deliver things to frequent costumers if needed, or go shopping for tiny things at vendors that already know Marvin (Varjú has a lil pouch for carrying money and whatever goods he can't just pick up with his talons).
Magic in this world is an ordinary and accepted thing, tho not everyone has it. One's chances of being born with enough magic to actually do something with are probably about the same as being left-handed, maybe somewhat higher. So maybe half of Marvin's costumers are actual magic users, the other half are regural people looking for magical solutions to their problems, which is just as much of a normal thing to do as shopping online is.
I don't know Everyone's place in this, but there are the ones I do:
Signe is a witch, not incredibly powerful but with a lot of love and contentment towards her craft. She mainly deals with nature magic, and Marvin buys from her about as much as she buys from Marvin. A lot of times there isn't even an actual exchange of money between them, they just trade. They help keep each other's herb supply balanced and usable at all times, and sometimes she tempts Marvin into trading with her by offering art supplies and not magical items, which Marvin accepts very enthusiastically. A lot of the ornaments and charms hanging in the shop were made by Signe, and most of them are for sale. Signe doesn't have a shop of her own, so she brings her creations she doesn't plan on keeping to Marvin, who enchants them (bc magic items made my multiple ppl are stronger) and usually ends up selling them p quickly, and they split the profit fairly.
I have no clue whether Seán has magic or not but I do know that he keeps adopting the light ball things that end up the most hopelessly tangled into him, and Marvin lets him bc he can always just create new ones. Seán already has like three or four of them floating aimlessly around his office and he has names for each of them.
Jackie doesn't seem to have any magic in him at first glance and I honeslty don't know if he does have any magic at all. He just showed up at Marvin's shop one day seeming like an ordinary one-time client, looking like a giant nerd and acting kinda shy. He asked for a protection charm (like an actual physical charm not a magic spell), and Marvin assumed it was out of a history of bad luck or anxiety, which he could definitely understand. And because the unique items like charms don't have price tags, he gave it to Jackie cheaper than usual without mentioning it. (He tends to bring down his prices a lil if a first time costumer is exceptionally attractive or nice, or if they look like they could put the bit of spare money to good use.) But a week later Jackie came back to buy another one, and then later another. When finally Marvin asked him why he needed so many, he eventually gave in to his conscience and said that they keep running out (breaking, burning up, falling apart, etc, which protection charms only do when protecting their wearer from really great danger and thus their magic runs out) and thus he always comes back to get a new one. Marvin is baffled by how such a meek looking guy could get into mortal danger so frequently, but he doesn't pry.
Anti is, well, interesting. My original plans for him were just a kinda mysterious human with insanely strong magic and then I kicked that whole paragraph out the window. Anti was the reason Marvin met Seán and Signe. He rarely leaves shop to do his work, but he was asked so nicely (and promised a great bonus for his troubles) to come take a look at some guy's computer that they have the suspicions either got cursed or posessed by something, because it's acting seriously freaky. Usually exorcising minor demons ends with the demon either being weakened so much it has no other choice than to flee, or the demon being destroyed completely. But this demon was more than just a half-sentient inconvenience and...it didn't seem hostile either? It was defensive when Marvin tried to mess with it, sure, but otherwise it seemed more collected and maybe a bit scared, or curious even once Marvin ceased his own hostility. He decided to give talking to the demon a chance, and found that it possessed a human level of sentience and intelligence (and even a name, Anti), and that it - he just wanted an entertaining place to live (which a computer with lots of games and activity definitely classifies as) and has frankly grown kinda fond of the computer's owner too. Marvin managed to coax him out and into some other item on his person (since at the time Anti wasn't yet able to take up a corporeal form), but when it became obvious to Anti that Marvin wanted to take him away, even if he did promise not to kill him, Anti absolutely freaked out. This was his home, he wanted to stay here and befriend these people living here if they were okay with it, he didn't want to leave, he didn't want to be taken away. Marvin had to present Seán with the situation - "Look, it is a demon, but he's also pretty chill and likes your taste in video games. He doesn't mean any harm and would like to be your friend, if you'd be okay with that? I don't need to get rid of him if you don't want me to." Seán and Signe gave it some serious thought and then accepted and let Anti stay and gave him an old phone (like an iphone or something they didn't use anymore not a nokia brick) to talk and see through until Marvin taught him how to take up a corporeal form. He's now completely capable of disguising himself as human, he technically lives with Seán and Signe but he also spends a lot of time in Marvin's shop (and later with other ppl like Dark and Chase as they come into the story).
Schneep is a healer (of the magical kind), who mainly has his own herb supply to sustain his patients, but when that's not the case he comes to Marvin for a short chat and to buy some. Aside from that, he periodically buys stuff to help him sleep or concentrate (mostly lil packets of assorted herbs he himself doesn't have, and a dangly charm he hung above his desk that also just looks great). After a while he started taking two packets instead of one, saying it was for a friend who also has trouble sleeping.
Said friend is yet to show up, but instead of him (and instead of Schneep getting stuff for him) his boyfriend, a tiny man with a bowler hat and a snazzy mustache by the name of Jameson, has become another frequent visitor of the shop. When he first came in, he started talking to Marvin by writing stuff down on a notepad in his hand, and he was very relieved when Marvin told him that he knows sign language, so if Jameson does too, it should be easier. He never buys anything for himself (he has more than enough magic to sustain himself), instead he comes in for stuff to help his boyfriend Shawn with his sleep problems and hallucinations, mostly herb packets, potions and charms that get used up alarmingly fast. After a handful of times of coming to the shop, Jameson brought a crow figurine for Marvin, as a gift from Shawn. Now besides Signe, Shawn is Marvin's most important charm supplier, because while Signe's charms mostly appeal to teens and adults, Shawn's creations are toys. And I mean, what's better than a teddy bear that's a child's favourite toy being enchanted to keep the child safe or grant them good luck?
I don't know much about Angus aside from that he shows up every once in a blue moon and trades Marvin rare supplies and ingredients he found on his journeys in exchange for potions and spells.
The only Iplier I know stuff about for now is Dark, who doesn't have a fuckin ounce of magic in him, and it probably frustrates him a lot bc he slowly becomes quite the frequent visitor of Marvin's shop. He's always very polite and reserved and gets straight to the point, simply asking for this or that potion or spell, scratching Varjú's head while he waits, paying and leaving. Marvin finds him strange but doesn't mind him. The first time he comes in while Anti is hanging out in the shop, Marvin almost bursts out laughing at the blatant look of interest on Anti's face. Anti flirts up a storm, Dark is very perplexed, and once he's gone Marvin threatens to kill Anti if he just scared off one of his best costumers. But Dark isn't that easy to scare off, he comes back after the same amount of time he always does, and he even offhandedly asks why Marvin's outstandingly extroverted friend isn't present. (I have no idea how that line of the story continues tbh but it does. somehow.)
Robbie I'm still a little unsure about, but here's the idea for now. Anti spends plenty of time digitally snooping around in places he shouldn't, but he usually leaves his friends out of it. One time tho he shows up at Marvin's place in the evening, asking if he wants to do something very dangerous, probably very stupid, but probably also kinda heroic, and of course Marvin is in. Turns out, Anti had managed to track down some ppl dealing with zombies, which is a multiple times illegal thing bc 1. they rob graves, 2. they commit illegal magic and 3. they sell the thus created, mostly docile zombies as "low maintenance workforce" (in other words, slaves). When Marvin and Anti get there it turns out that these particular ppl aren't exactly experienced, only have one zombie on their hands currently, and thus they kick their asses very quickly. The singular zombie is heavily sedated, really loopy and the most interested in Marvin's shiny jewellery. They fuck off, rescue zombie included, before the police get there, bc they don't trust the police to handle a confescated zombie properly either. Back at Marvin's shop they try to get the zombie back to what seems to be his full capacity and find out that he has the intelligence of a twenty-something but the mentality of a child. When asked his name, he can only say "Rroooo....RoooOOOOOoooo...." and doesn't seem to remember the rest of it, until Anti guesses "Robbie" and the zombie devolves into happy squealing and flapping. They don't exactly know what to do with him, and after weeks of fruitless search for his family, they give up on handing him over to someone else. Robbie (who in the meantime became trained in some simpler forms of magic, tried to eat one of Marvin's magic light ball things and found himself a place in the hearts of everyone he's met) ends up living with Schneep, who has a house too big for only one person anyway and is v happy to take him in. He still spends a lot of time in Marvin's shop, tho usually in the back room/office practicing magic or crafting stuff bc he's scared of the costumers and the costumers are scared of him.
Pff, I think that's all I have for now.
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theanatomyletter · 5 years
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here is a perfectly sane response to the climate emergency
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Right so like 3 days ago once everyone found out a couple weeks too late that the literal amazon rainforest is on fire I went into a sort of anxiety/depressive spiral and it was terrifying!!! I was scared and shocked out of doing anything and kept thinking of all the bad things that are happening and how we are all going 2 die and kept thinking of how to make more ppl understand that climate destruction is part of the same racist project as white imperialism and I’m !!! Stressed !! And I was scared and freaked out!!! I remember as a kid one of my favourite things ever was the book Journey To The River Sea by Eva Ibbotson and I s2g that book made me a person it taught me so many things about what it means to love a place and to be alive in the world and how to sustain a sense of self and community in meaningful connection with that it means to be alive and here and breathing and it’s a book about the rainforest and the river and so I’ve just been,, thinking of it a lot, little blue butterfly from the cover floating thru my brain and all that. It’s hard!!! I thought I was afraid of not saving/earning enough money to do a masters next year but I was actually afraid of the consequences of the climate emergency. Pay more attention to your emotions and honour them for what they are and figure out what is at stake for you, what does it make you feel that the world is in crisis. I think that’s important
Depressing chat aside after I panicked and felt radicalised (what does that even mean?) I found this twitter thread which was basically like these are all the terrible things that can happen and here is how we stop them and at first I felt SO SCARED because there’s NO WAY we can actually organise mass strikes at this scale!!!! We have never had to organise at this scale before, I panicked and got really scared and went on a rant about how we have to use existing structures to fix things because we don’t have the time or resources to organise at this scale but like. I now think we actually do, I found this resource for organising strikes globally from 20TH TO 27TH SEPTEMBER and like, we have the Internet and we have a month to plan and prepare and if you are able to strike you absolutely should !!!!!! There are people smarter than me speaking to the urgency of this, I’m just having some feelings and writing this on my phone notes, but like. Read about strikes in your area. If there aren’t any, find resources to help organise one. Text your friends your colleagues your family whatsapp group the people you went to school with, spread the word and organise how you will sustain your community in that time
As a side note after I went on panic rants all over my social media I think I realised that terrifying people into frenzied action won’t work because it’ll often just scare them into inaction (that’s what it did to me) and I felt better only once I found that resource for actual organisation, the mass general strike felt like an impossible project until I found out it’s already being planned. So like, don’t be helplessly scared, we have multiple years to fix things, and I think this is important: REMEMBER TO BE ALIVE AND HERE AND BREATHING, it’s important to actually feel the absolute miracle that is consciousness otherwise all of the saving the world will have been for nothing. Take photos of your friends and give hugs to your pets and get drunk and go dancing and remember that what matters is that feeling of being so achingly alive and aware of your existence in the world when you look at the sky and feel dizzy with how small you are and how yet the whole universe is inside of your brain, remember to breathe and feel glorious and loud and bright and reckless.
On that note, I was having a hard time giving a shit about much but I copped on a bit after I talked to my friend Naoise Dolan (buy her book it is out soon !!!) I felt like calmer and more like I was allowed to enjoy things and write things (that’s why I finally pulled it together enough to do this) and so I LISTENED TO THE NEW TAYLOR SWIFT ALBUM ON REPEAT and I’ve decided I love it, here is my ranking of all its songs from worst to best, I have so many thoughts, the lyrics are golden, I’m so happy to be alive in the world at a time we can make things better and listen to music like this that’s tailor made (sorry) for us to forget about any guilt we may feel from bopping to boardroom produced songs about corporate feminism
18. Miss Americana and whoever the fuck
Idk what this obsession is with high school motifs (shout out Mike Dolan for pointing this out) like it’s just weird for a 29 yr old to use school as a metaphor for her love life. The “you win stupid prizes” bit sounds nice though. It’s like a low-key creepy obsessive song like why is she doing that funny voice? Is it meant to sound vaguely haunted? What’s going on
I’m also just tired of “America” (the white kind) as a cultural construct and it being used as an expression of identity in popular culture like we get it you built a nationalism out of “gas stations” and “hallways” and “whatever” but you’re still racist, Stop. Like it’s just an inherently violent construct and nobody white is reckoning with it responsibly so at least maybe stop romanticising it or just shut up. Heck yea I’m reading too much into this. I do what I want
17. You Need to Calm Down
This song is bad. It’s so bad. The lyrics are pointless, the ohoHHHH is annoying, her voice is irritating, it’s also just gross and patronising and tries to do twelve things at once (are we leading a parade to pat ourselves on the back for telling homophobes to “take several seats” or are we saying we “all have crowns” wtv that means?)
This song is actually just gross and it doesnt even SOUND GOOD
16. ME
It’s less problematic than you need to calm down and that’s the only reason it’s slightly less bad. It’s a garbage song idk why it exists i’m so mad at it
15. Paper rings
IM SORRY tHe mOoN is HIGH like your friends were the night that we first met I’m sorry WHAT miss swift we get it you have been near drugs, Jesus CHRIST this song is a juvenile childish self important mess. The lyrics r awful and her voice is sneaky and weird and she does weird noises and the chorus is dumb like the “uhuh that’s right” makes me want to give CHITTAR. Also she says darling WAY too much in this album like we get it you’re dating a Brit. It’s not The Worst song because if you pay zero attention to the lyrics or her voice it’s kind of fine sounding? It’s so bad tho lol, I remember when she wrote Mine and the video came out I was like wow wild this is weird and adult and why are you pregnant but this one is even MORE weird. I also HATE every time she says dreary mondays and “baby boy” (GROSS) and I hate that she keeps repeating it lol. The I hate accidents line is kind of fine
14. I forgot that you existed
I hate the lyrics and I hate the premise (we get it you’re indifferent that’s why you wrote a whole song about it) BUT it’s such a bop, it’s very /this feels like a perfect night to make fun of our exes/ vibes and I would be LYING if I said I didn’t enjoy that. Yes we exists
We are pretending her fake laughter and starting to talk in the middle of songs things isn’t real though. It wasn’t cute in we are never ever etc and isn’t cute now
13. I think he knows
I love the 16th avenue bit, it fills me with giddy happiness, the rest of the song is shit, and also lazy. Also stop being obsessed with being 17, it was weird in starlight and is weird now
The bridge is also sort of nice but not nice enough to redeem the rest of it
12. London Boy
Im sorry I promise I know this song is bad. It is bad. I hope it’s ironic? But it’s bad. It’s a weird colonialism complex fetishisation of posh brit whiteness and its even more gross when it’s like “btw IM american, DOUBLE whiteness”, it’s icky and bad. It is a bad song. I apologise for enjoying it and I promise I am ashamed but also u know what, if you ignore the lyrics entirely and pretend you’re 15 and un-enlightened about the violence inherent to the fetishisation of an english identity……….maybe a fun tune. I know. I know. I am sorry. I promise I enjoy it only ironically
11. The man
Corporate white lady feminism? With the word HUSTLE in it? In this economy? Yes obviously
The lyrics are a bit ehhhh but some of them are quite clever and I think she’s quite honest in this song in a rare sort of way without trying to exaggerate it for shock value and it’s a very like, this is my life, here you go, sort of tune, it doesn’t do anything for women’s rights but I think it sounds nice and is probably fun to dance to, and “I’m so sick of running as fast as I can, wondering if I’d get there quicker if I was a man” and “if I were a man, I’d be the man” are fUN lines !!! Idk how wild this comparison is but like, I feel this song is trying to deal with similar things as I know places (a very privileged rant, if you will, without much self awareness) but I think The Man does it better because it’s less self important and has less ambition about it solving or expressing the world’s worst problems.
10. False God
Ok, so, what is it with the religious motifs in this album, i don’t get it, though it kinda works a lot in this song? I wanted to rank this higher but after a few listens it got slightly grating, the beginning is a bit unecessary too? Like it’s trying to create this weirdly artificial aura of glamour and sophistication, it’s quite an unnerving and haunting song and I quite like that about it and it makes me a bit surprised and startled. This thing she’s doing with like slow, building, repeating tunes i think has worked the best in this song (we might just, get away with this, religion’s in your lips e-,ven if its a False gOd) also, THE ALTAR’S IN MY HIPS, OOF, the chorus does the trick honestly and i love when she’s like slightly laughing but in a wry sort of way. Love it tbh, something about it just makes me a bit stressed though and not in an intentional way (i think)
9. It’s Nice To Have a Friend
Miss taylor who gave you the RIGHT, to shove your hand into my chest and grab my heart and step all over it. I love it and it makes me cry and it’s so soft and sweet. Zero complaints abt it it’s a beautiful song. There r just MULTIPLE EXTREMELY GOOD SONGS that’s why it’s not like my absolute fav and im confused too as to why it’s so low but like. Idk. it is a very soft and sweet song. I love it. If anything maybe it’s a bit uncreative n lazy but i think that’s slightly on purpose so doesn’t rlly constitute a criticism
8. Death by a thousand cuts
I like this song a lot a lot. The lyrics are SO GOOD IM SO HAPPY SHES DOING GOOD LYRICS AGAIN. I love the “one for the agEs” line and i’m generally a slut for any mention of chandeliers in music or poetry (dont ask), her voice is delicate but proud and wild and i’m a fan, honestly, cannot wait to bop to this. The My my my bit is annoying tho
7. The archer
I HATE the bit where she says CoMbAt but otherwise this song is soft and lovely and gentle and I love it !!!!! I love the lyrics and I love her gentle restraint of how she slowly unfurls them and then let’s go in “help me hold onto you”, there is such a commanding frankness to it, it’s an ask for collaboration, an ask for honesty, an ask for I want to do this with you
I think it’s one of the strongest tracks lyrically and she also shows like great skill vocally which has been annoyingly missing from so much of what she’s recently produced. I feel like there’s a bunch of annoying stylistic choices (the they see right thru me bit is grating) but like the song overall is lovely, I think you can feel in her voice she knows she’s created something good and it’s not the usually insufferable IM A GENIUS vibe. WHO COULD EVER LEAVE ME DARLING, BUT WHO COULD STAY !!!
6. Soon you’ll get better
Made me cry. We’re not talking about this one
5. Lover
This song is soft loving, slow whispers, careful realisations that you can build a life with whatever you like and love will save everything, I love it, I love it I love it I love it, “can I go where you go?” moves me to tEARS it is such a soft and gentle expression of care, it is such a kindness, it’s such surrendering, such reckless care, I love it so much, it’s so hopeful and also sure, it’s so frightful but also unafraid. I think this is one of Taylor’s most earnest songs ever and it does the thing of combining that earnestness with brazen daring that doesn’t turn into embarrassment only because she commands her lyrics with such certainty, and that’s rare and often I think that daring has ended badly for her (LOL most of reputation) but here it’s done so beautifully and w so much happiness and LOVE, this song is truly just a beautiful lil piece of art with so much happiness dripping thru it
4. Cornelia Street
This song. This SONG. It builds up so beautifully with this ever so slightly hesitant fascination with its own emotions, i’m so obsessed with it, the lyrics are lovely and perfect, i was expecting it to feel slightly forced and oddly specific because wtf is a cornelia street anyway, but it WORKS. I think it wants me to think of like a glowy streetlighty street and it DOES THAT, “filling in the blanks as we gooooo” sounds so gorgeous and does that thing with her voice which literally is just showing off that Yes She Does Know How To Sing and it’s so certain and sure and restrained and open and bare (again in “i thought you were leading me onnnnn”). Also, “the city screams your name” should be a tired cliche but its just an excited expression of abandon im,, in love. The song is so shaky and uncertain but completely confident and relaxed at the same time and it FEELS EXACTLY LIKE COMING TO TERMS WITH BEING IN LOVE AND WANTING IT TO LAST FOREVER, also like, when did she learn how to write good bridges again because yEs
3. Daylight
Solely for the lines “i’ll tell you the truth, but never goodbye // i don’t want to look at anything else now that i saw you” she deserves a grammy it actually pierces my emotions and makes me want 2 explode, this song is sooooo lovely and it has the vibe that makes me feel like i’ve already heard it years ago (but maybe thats because ive had the album on repeat 2 days straight) but it’s just,,, very good and it feels like sunset and glitter and i think is a perfect ending to a great album i love how it builds intensity and then strips it down and just,,, love it.
2. Afterglow
This is i think, one of the most beautiful things this woman has ever produced, one of the loveliest and most powerful songs ever made, i love it so very much. She finally learnt how to do autotune properly lol, this song is like, a crescendo of emotion, everything is falling down around it and it’s like a little haven of bare, frank honesty and complete surrender, of complete vulnerability, the whole song sounds like an act of care and an act of expressing pure emotion, it’s so gorgeous. It moves so softly and doubles in on itself and she’s sorry and sad but so proud of this love and so certain of its importance, “i’m the one who burnt us down”, it’s such a zooming in on a very specific emotion and it’s done so well, i love it
1. Cruel summer
I LOVE THIS SONG. I LOVE THIS SONG. The lyrics are flighty and exciting and shivery, WHAT DOESNT KILL ME MAKES ME WANT YOU MORE- plug that shit into my VEINS. This song makes me feel like it’s 2015 and nothing is real yet and I’m living inside a YA novel and my biggest problem is my crush being mean to me and I’m RELISHING in that freedom and indulging every last drop of emotion because being alive and paying attention to it is incredible and Extremely Cool Actually (I DONT WANT TO KEEP SECRETS JUST TO KEEP YOU, dead right gal)
That said. Organise for the climate strike. Read up on what’s going on so you can answer questions in your family whatsapp group. Field those conversation, DO THAT EMOTIONAL LABOUR (again, what even), spread the word. But take care of yourself !!!! Listen to Taylor swift and remember that we are an absolute joke of a species, we went to the MOON, we can do this, I love you
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segyc-blog · 7 years
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okay so i get that reading rules ( or even having a rules page ) is still not common in krp; to some extend i even get the people not wanting to have any interactions ooc at all because how often those lines got blurred and are too scared to talk things through prior before threading but where i personally draw the line is when my rules have been ignored multiple times in a row on several occasions despite it even stating on my blog that you should actually read at least my rules. 
again: even with im’s i get that i partly receive those in character if you are possibly mobile and still want to chat yejun up but do not ignore what i as the person behind the screens says when i tell you that i don’t want this and that i am not roleplaying through messengers : )  it also counts in threads where you put words in yejun’s mouth that he would actually never say and i am sitting here slightly excuse the meme triggered. i get that yejun might seem overly sexual ( though i honestly dont get it other than his possible fc which i only choose bc he lit just looks like ken white light hair but :’) ) but lmao he is mcfricking not & if you’d take a moment of your time you could actually read that up on my rules. yejun is a muse that i want to write horror and actual dark plots with that actually dig deep into both our muses psyche. my “dark plots” are nsfw because ( though i am still lowkey terrible at writing it ) they will include gore, mental illnesses, abuse and possibly even torture. they will be romanticizing a terrible act and making it seem okay but it is more or less just for yejun’s own peace of mind that he thinks that he isn’t as crazy and sick as he actually is. i’m not going to act like i didn’t touch any darker topics like this when i was under 18 but this is why i have a not safe for work warning in my rules on my blog. because there will be disturbing content; because i do not claim to write certain things exactly the way they play out and i’d personally like for people to actually get that they should thread with yejun with caution --- despite, of course, also the option of rather light threads being there. i didn’t create him as some sick fantasy that just deals with his trauma through sex, no offense but that is pretty bland in my opinion and terribly boring to write. 
just don’t god mod & don’t meta play?? unless you are one of my close friends or we actually talked a little bit out of character i have absolutely no chill if you dare to touch yejun’s background or say anything about him or his friends without me agreeing on it prior. i stressed this so damn hard on all my pages that i feel like i come across as an ass to people who actually do take their time to read through everything. but you know: even if he is based on ken kaneki; that is all he is. based on him. i put my own spin on ken and created yejun && i actually have no troubles with writing either kaneki nor yejun --- i don’t need your help, thanks :’) yejun kim is my muse and i can explain his character well enough in threads; it is your fucking job to do the same for your muse.
  i’d also like to add for everyone reading this that no; i do not expect us to become best friends or even talk because honestly, your dash and roleplay account should make you feel safe and comfortable and if you are not comfortable with chatting out of character that is also completely fine in my book. but you know: that is exactly why proper rule pages are a thing in roleplay communities. because even without talking to a person out of character, they have a basic understanding of what you want to happen and what you are not comfortable with. 
it’s only like--- the third day this account exists but i am honestly already tired of people ignoring everything i say on my blog left and right. from now on i will soft-block everyone who i think did not read my rules & ignored pretty big topics in my rules thrice in a row. & actually thanks to ppl who read this whiny ass post :’ ) 
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What did you guys get for Christmas??? Anyone get any deals on Steam???
I myself received JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure Manga, all of the Part 1 volumes in a set <3 from a friend of my mother’s and a headset that we had to return because it just wouldnt configure to my computer its the most confusing thing ever everything would work except for i couldnt hear sound out of it whatsoever, but its fine cause my best friend irl hooked me up with an old headset of his thats still in good condition C: So im happy 
I had also bought quite a few things on Steam with steam gift cards I received and some from my own money
1. VA-11 Hall-A Cyberpunk Bartender Action : I was craving a bartending game for some reason and thought it would be a shot in the dark to check if Steam had anything of the sort but damn if i was surprised. VA-11 Hall-A or as its said Valhalla is about a bartender named Jill working in a semi-mediocre bar in this cyberpunk futuristic setting, there’s robots and humans for the most part of what ive seen but i also heard from other character dialogue that there’s even some type of animals that are characters. In short to keep this from being a super long ass post the gameplay is you creating drinks for customers that come in and order and you chat with them and get to know their character sometimes things they say come up later on and each one of them is memorable as fuck dude like even the cynical ones are interesting to talk to :^T. The dialogue is REALLY FUNNY and not TOO futuristic, without rambling on and making ppl read too much its DEFINITELY worth a look.
As someone who usually would be turned off by the thought of a bartending visual novel game, I can assure you dude, its not what it sounds like. If i had a complaint about this game my only sole complaint would be that the Steam description is a misleading intentional joke but i almost dashed it off as one of those dating visual novels if i didnt take a closer look into it. though i guess people who judge books by their cover typically are the only ones missing out hehe
2. Skullgirls :i LOVE skullgirls, cerebella is my favorite to play as
3.Suits : This game is literally less than a dollar like clocking in at like literally 70 cents on Steam right now and even then its SUUUUUPER cheap. If you like OFF like me, you’d get a similar vibe from it like i did. I havent played much but its worth atleast a look at the trailer if you dont like rpg maker games then i dont think itll be up your alley imo
4.Tomb Raider 2013: One of my friends recommended this to me and DAMNNNNNN THAT INTRO WAS BRUTALLLLL, i plan to play this at some point but it seems like a big game to complete so I have it set aside for now but man did it get my attention
5.Papers, Please: Literally havent touched this game yet just heard its good
6.Ultimate Chicken Horse: THIS GAME IS SOOOOO FUN TO PLAY WITH FRIENDS, make sure you’re playing with multiple people though! its definitely more fun with more people. its a cute little game where you create obstacles on the course and whoever can overcome them and get to the goal a number of times, wins. you can play as a cute little sheep,chicken,chameleon,raccoon,horse or bunny as characters too!
7.Grim Fandango Remastered : I really have wanted to play this for some time, i like it a lot so far the cutscenes remind me of like old 90s cgi and for some thatd seem canny by todays standards but i love it, i love that you can physically see the game’s age while at the same time are able to enjoy it remastered.
8. ASTRONEER :This game is really nice to look at and I am dying to have someone to play it with someday soon :DDD I really was interested in playing a space game and Astroneer features you being able to explore planets with friends and do space exploration and such :T. 
9. Psychonauts: I heard this game was underrated, I initially dont know a thing about it other than it was released on the original xbox as an exclusive and that it was 90 cents on steam
10. Dangan ronpa trigger happy havoc : I love the art style for this game’s characters, Ive known about this series since like what 2014?? Was that when these games were made, i saw some shitposts from the fanbase they were pretty neat too, a lot of my friends like it as well but i never actually sat down to play a dangan ronpa game at all. A friend of mine had tried to get me to check out the series by saying you solve mysteries like Ace Attorney, so I had seen half an episode of Dangan Ronpa The Animation back then but I lost interest very quick sadly. Unfortunately at the time I hadnt heard that was the worst way to get a first impression of the series lmao, but anyways, who knows, this could even kick off a whole new type of game content on my blog, the fandom seems to be a fun bunch as well. 
11.Hyper Light Drifter : NEVER BEFORE HAVE I SEEN SUCH SWEET SAVORY GLOSSY BRIGHT COLORFUL PIXEL ART IN A MANNER SUCH AS THIS GAME HAS PRESENTED. it really seems like a game i need to play soon, infact i plan to play it after I beat Valhalla (Even though it has multiple endings HHHHHHH this game keeps getting better). If you dont know what hyper light drifter is my guy, check it 
And that wraps up every game I got from 2016 Steam’s Winter sale. But ive been talking a LOT, what have u homies gotten yourselves over the holidays
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nisitime · 4 years
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Fuck it
lets get personal
1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?  rn? 1sidney || burnt espresso 2 That Distant Shore  3  Someone You Like - Plance 4  Don't lose your head- Six the musical 5  Tessa Violet - Bad Ideas 6  Boys Like You
2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? god? 3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.’’Creepers from the garden’’ 4: What do you think about most? ‘’what if’’ (insert paranoia shit) 5: What does your latest text message from someone else say? ‘’ mas at least keep it out of the game ’’ 6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on? depends on the weather 7: What’s your strangest talent? open and close my nostrals 8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence) Girls are you, boys are too 9: Ever had a poem or song written about you? not that i remember 10: When is the last time you played the air guitar? never 11: Do you have any strange phobias? i dont think so 12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? no? 13: What’s your religion? none 14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? walking 15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? behind 16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? Gorillaz 17: What was the last lie you told? That i was ok 18: Do you believe in karma? +/- 19: What does your URL mean? that i dont sleep 20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? Anxiety/caring 21: Who is your celebrity crush? Jack Black 22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping? no 23: How do you vent your anger? i cry and shut myself 24: Do you have a collection of anything? nop 25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? online 26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become? not yet 27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? scream / moan 28: What’s your biggest “what if”? what if i die 29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? nah 30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. forniture / window 31: Smell the air. What do you smell? depression 32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to? dunno 33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast? none 34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? J -hope 35: To you, what is the meaning of life? stay happy 36: Define Art. cant be defined 37: Do you believe in luck? +/- 38: What’s the weather like right now? cold and windy 39: What time is it? 00.05 40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? nop/nop 41: What was the last book you read? HP 42: Do you like the smell of gasoline? +/- 43: Do you have any nicknames? Nisi 44: What was the last film you saw? A war one 45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? broke my leg and almost got in wheel chair 46: Have you ever caught a butterfly? yes 47: Do you have any obsessions right now? SU 48: What’s your sexual orientation? pan 49: Ever had a rumour spread about you? multiple 50: Do you believe in magic? nah 51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?+/- 52: What is your astrological sign? gemini 53: Do you save money or spend it?save 54: What’s the last thing you purchased? acne treatment shit
55: Love or lust? both 56: In a relationship? no 57: How many relationships have you had? 3 58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue? no 59: Where were you yesterday? friends house 60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? yis 61: Are you wearing socks right now? yis 62: What’s your favourite animal? panda 63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? be trustful and caring 64: Where is your best friend? home 65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr. dont have 66: What is your heritage? good question 67: What were you doing last night at 12AM? drawing 68: What do you think is Satan’s last name? ??? 69: Biggest turn ons? soft smooches 70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? no 71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? keep going but look at dog and smile 72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? a) tell some ppl b) chill c) will it hurt? 73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love. there is no love without trust 74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? dont have 75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? 9370 76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? trust  77: How can I win your heart? cant 78: Can insanity bring on more creativity? yes 79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? diet 80: What size shoes do you wear? 38 /39 81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone? let her chill 82: What is your favourite word? minhoca 83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. *badum* the heart sound 84: What is a saying you say a lot? ugh 85: What’s the last song you listened to? paper houses by sidney 86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours? purple and yellow 87: What is your current desktop picture? A fanart from my Henshin RP 88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? maybe 89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? dont have one 90: Turn offs? smoking 91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? invisibility 92: where are your parents from? Portugal 93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? the suicide 94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? Orla gartland 95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Japan 96: Do you have any relatives in jail? no 97: Have you ever thrown up in the car? YES 98: Ever been on a plane? yes 99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say the only problem without solution is death
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survivormarmoreal · 5 years
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Episode #5: "his Kirby ass can shut the hell up” - Marie
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Charlie being safe!? Yas. Good for me since he is part of my alliance.
An alice them challenge. Uh yass!! 🦑 i have the book so i can quickly look thru it and find people, items, food, and other stuff which is good for us. I dont want to go to tribal.
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nicolegilmoreToday at 7:42 PM That was probably Kaleigh bc I would open messages and not answer them
that was about when we played before and she was part of a 3 person catfish. but funny enough it still applies to this game!!! love when she leaves me on read for 20 hours
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So I feel good with my standing in this tribe tbh. I feel like I have made meaningful contributions to the tribe in challenges and have a good rapport with a few tribe members. Keaton and Marie might be the easiest too get out, even though I am aware that it makes me a threat but we been used to that feeling. Having the idol as extra security as well makes me feel good so eeeek. I just want too survive to merge and link up with new people and people who i know as well, and play off that. im super nervous but also excited, i just hope to god we win this immunity
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At first I thought this Alice and wonderland challenge was going to be super fun an exciting. At first it was. Now its getting a little frustrating and annoying seeing Not Found (something along those lines). I'm hoping that our 28 items is higher than the other tribe's or at least being a tie. I want to avoid tribal still because still feeling sketch about this tribe.
Our search isnt doing too well. And nicole went missing and dont know she is. We have 28 items. Hopefully thats enough but i have a feeling in my stomach that it isnt and im scared. Dont want to go to tribal. Hope we win though. 🤞
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if kirby does not tell me his great great great great grandmas waffle recipe hes done for. like why bring it up if ur not gonna share. ??? um we won immunity again and im so happy bc i dont want to go to tribal bc even tho there are MULTIPLE ppl i want out i dont want to risk it. stan list right now is dennis, naptime, matt, marie. everyone else? and matt and marie barely on there too... but um actually starting to like them and theyre more responsive now so love that! by the end of this game ill actually know things about alice in wonderland wooh!
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Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Okay so this sucks. We all really tried hard and we only lost by 2 points which is so frustrating. Not to mention that Nick and Charlie couldn't even find anything at all. And now we're in a really shitty spot because sending Nick home would be an easy out but he possibly has this legacy advantage thing which he can use tonight and if that means he's safe than idk what to do because I have a strong alliance with the other 4 people on my tribe. Which means now we have to come up with a plan to make sure Nick feels safe and he doesn't use his advantage but we still put the majority of votes on him. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Okay I'm laying it on thick with Nick. Really trying to play the middle and see where his head is at. I think honestly chances are Nick will make it through this round but I want to make sure after the vote he still trusts me but he does use his Legacy Advantage. Brian and I are walking a very thin line.
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Yas. We won immunity again! 🦑 Still on of the 3 people not go to tribal yet which is pretty awesome. I’m now hoping that Charlie, Sharky, and Brian can find a way to survive again. Don’t want to lose any of them. Hopefully we merge soon. Its going to be down to 12 people after tomorrow’s tribal. Only ones to really talk to me on this tribe is Dennis, Bryce, Keaton and sometimes Matt. Havent talked to much to Marie. And Nicole ive tried but ignored. If anything it would be cool to blindside Nicole at first tribal in the merge.
I think im going to talk game to keaton today and see if we could work together. And im also going to see what Bryce thinks about us working together as well. Im just nervous if tonight we do merge at tribal, i dont want to be first boot. I want to make it far in this game.
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I don't know if my last confessional went through, so I'll just send another one in hehe...
I do feel like Charlie is going home this round because of his idol play last round, but it could also be Nick going or him using his Legacy Advantage and all that being gone.  I don't really know, but I want to make sure it ain't me and that's what's important.
As for other things... love Sharky, what a king.  Love Nathan, another king... Annabelle's really cool, ya... I love Charlie but he's still probably gonna die... and ya kjHDA... that's all I have to say...
Scared for merge because L O fucking L... that's going to be a mess.  It could be coming tonight, but I really do not know and I'm scared…
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Keaton decides to call me inactive in the tribe chat but his Kirby ass can shut the hell up, he's just bitter I voted against him the first tribal and he's tryna put the target on my ass. Thank god we won the challenge because I don't know if I would've stayed. I have good relationships with Bryce Matt and Dennis but I don't know if that's enough to keep me.
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So first off. Sorry for no video confessional. But not enough happened to bramble around and take 3 hours of my internet for uploading slow AF but here is a small summary of what happened to my game. Idolsearch: went to the tugley woods again. I guess you need a map to find your way through it, but what do i know D: Last tc: Charlie played his idol and mentioned publically that all of his old tribe knew about that idol anyways. What kind of made me a bit suspicious. Mainly because when he told me, he said that he really wants to work with me and thats why he is telling me this secret. I don't mind that the idol is gone, but if he told that everyone? mhm... I approached maynor to see if he knew and he said NO. so maybe I did a whoopsie? WHO KNOWS.
Eitherway. Anna announced a "live challenge" after this tribal (oh yeah we are safe again woo), but since we would be down to 12 I wouldn't be surprised if that "live challenge" is actually the merge announcement? If not. I think EVEN IF WE LOSE i should be in a decent position? Because Keaton couldn't keep his mouth shut and when it came to sitting someone out and called out Marie in the tribe chat. Bad move for him, good for me. Because even if we go to tribal unless someone really wants to target me for some reason it should be between those 2
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Okay so we've come up with a slightly complicated plan. Looks like I'm going to lose Charlie this round which makes me kind of sad because I really get on well with him. But it's what i have to do to get further in the game. We're going to split the vote so The Dinah Dudes vote fro Nick. The OG Absolem people vote Charlie. Anna tells Nick he needs to use his Legacy Advantage so we get rid of that from the game. I just hope I come out of this without hurting Charlie or pissing off Nick.
AJ just used an emoji that CHANGED. MY. LIFE. It's like praying and trying to stay calm and then fire happens and it says BOI! And if that isn't a fucking mood idk what is!
Y'all I am so bad at this idol hunt. I keep choosing locations that don't even have choices. Yikes. Everybody else has advantages and shit and I'm just sitting in an empty meadow.
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I’m sad we lost i actually tried for this because I didn’t want a complicated tribal but bleh Idk how this will work but I think it will work out for the best potentially if it goes the way I’m hoping. I loved this comp though the hosts did a great job with it. It was actually fun
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With merge approaching I think that it’s important I remember I really don’t owe anything to the people on my tribe... they voted out Jayden and told me nothing and I think it’s time for some revenge.. all you people in the viewing lounge stay tuned... Ima show you why I’ve never not made a merge!
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I’m not sure if it’s day 13, I’ve been safe every single round and I have absolutely no clue how I am doing that.....Dennis is my one and only ally. Hopefully it's merge time!
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Honestly, I think I might be going home lol. Brian and Sharky are telling me Nick but no one else has messaged me. Severely regretting using my idol now lol.
Hope my bois have still got my back, even though I haven't been that helpful in challenges recently. I'm hoping it'll reduce my threat level for merge hehe
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Ive been talking to Bryce and wants to work with me. This is great. So on this tribe i have Dennis and Bryce and perhaps even keaton. So just nervous for live challenge.
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LAST MINUTE SCRAMBLING. Sounds like Nick is trying to flip the vote on Brian. he asked Nathan and Anna to flip off of Charlie. So Now Brian is worried (Which is totally fair) because he doesn't know if he can trust Anna. So even if Nathan/Brian/I stick to the plan, if she flips and Nick uses his advantage Brian goes home. So now he wants to flip his vote so worst case scenario it goes 2-2-2 and we can fix things on the revote. Ugh I hate scrambling. I prefer my tribals over easy.
Charlie is voted out 3-2.
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girishprb · 7 years
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Montana 1: Adventure begins
A memorable trip in Colorado back in 2016 Labor day weekend ensured that we do something similar or even better in 2017. A separate blog post will be dedicated to that trip! Patience please :) There was a lot of back and forth while deciding the location, which started with Alaska and eventually settled down to Montana and its crown of the continent - the majestic Glacier National Park. To get a head start over the regular long weekend crowd, we planned to reach a couple of days early with no specific plan in mind. Wildfires and frequent updates ensured that we plan nothing whatsoever and do everything in the moment, which I think was a blessing in disguise. Saved on a bunch of planning, we did not really have any timelines or expectations and the randomness made it much more beautiful and satisfying.
The only planning we did do was a couple of days before to make sure we carried all the important stuff and that we did not duplicate key items. For future camping trips, and for all who do read my blogs, hope this helps :)
[x] Brush [x] Toothpaste [x] Hand sanitizer [x] Toilet paper [x] Facial wipes [x] mug(steel preferred) [x] Vessel/saucepan to cook (3 ppl) [x] Milk powder [x] Tea, coffee, chocolate powders [x] First aid kit [x] Water purifier tablets [x] Spoons n forks [x] Knife [x] Fire starter kit [x] Lighter, matches [x] Propane cylinders, stove [x] National park permit [x] Offline maps [x] Ponchos [x] Hydration bladder [x] Sleeping mat [x] Dry fruits [x] Pasta, Maggi, Spanish rice packs [x] Thermals? [x] towel [x] Energy bars [x] Power bank [x] torches, lanterns [x] chappal [x] mouthwash [x] bear spray [x] Garbage covers [x] Batteries [x] Tent
On the day of the departure, I had an adventure of my own. To start off with, I had 3 flights in total - RDU -> Newark -> Denver -> Missoula. God knows why I booked a flight with that route (probably has something to do with money). Also, gate closing time at RDU was 3.45 pm! That meant I had to leave office post lunch and be at the airport by 3. To add on to this, I was just back from a trip to Seattle for a week and my feature had a major release in the coming week. Somehow working late nights, I and my colleagues made sure we were in good shape just before I went off on this vacation. I left the office at 2.10 pm, had to still buy a tent from REI (12 mins drive from the office in the opposite direction). And possibly go to Indian stores to buy instant tea powder because I knew there were no Indian stores in Missoula or en route to GNP. At 2.45 pm, I was at the crossroads, I had to decide whether I go to Indian stores which will delay me by at-least 15 minutes or go home, pack, call UBER and hope to make it to airport by 3.15 pm. The logical and sane option was to do the latter, but, what’s the point of camping and backpacking when there’s no Girnar’s masala chai early in the morning :P I chose Indian stores, but to save on precious 10 minutes wait for UBER, I called my roommate to come home and drop me to airport. Thankfully he did this great favor and took me through a new and arguably faster route to the Airport( He is amazing!). I reached the airport at 3.20 pm with tea and bunch of snacks other than Maggi since I was assuming that Manasi was getting it. In our previous group chats, she gave us the impression that she was the one and only wholesale distributor of Maggi to the North Americas. In all this hurry I missed out on a text message from Manasi asking me to get Maggi and she used this a response to everything I said later! (You did not get Maggi!!!)
At the airport, I directly wanted to go to the United counter and check-in my backpack (Osprey Aether 60 L) as I was already late, but one smart-ass agent asked me to first go to the kiosk and enter my details. Reluctantly, with an exasperated expression, I did that as arguing would delay me further. To nobody’s surprise, it displayed a warning message stating that I cannot check-in my baggage since it was less than 45 minutes to departure. I called the same guy again and triumphantly asked him what should I do now. It was his turn to give me the exasperated look as he requested me to talk to an agent at the counter. She was partly annoyed as well and I don’t blame her. The fault was entirely mine. After glancing at the system and her watch multiple times, she finally decided to let me check in and try my luck catching the flight. She literally said, “Good luck, hope you can make it”!
Usually at RDU, one can breeze through the security lines within 5-10 minutes. My personal best was probably a minute or less than that when I caught a flight to SFO, the last flight for the day. They had to start the scanner machine just for me! This day wasn’t a usual day! there were quite a few people, already in the holiday mood. The time now was 3.32 pm. with 13 minutes to board my flight, I actually started thinking if the tea packet was really worth it :P (it was) I cleared the security at 3.41 pm. Ideally, in this situation, it would have helped if my boarding gate was as close as possible to the security checkpoint. But when the universe conspires to make your life miserable, it always does a pretty darn good job. My boarding gate was the furthest possible from the security checkpoint. My half marathon training finally paid off as I sprinted across the terminal amidst the amused glances from random strangers. Thankfully, RDU is one of the smaller airports where I can do all this bullshit and still get away with it. I made it to the gate at 3.43 pm, but without a proper breakfast, without lunch and with 10% charge on my totally unreliable Nexus 5. Why do I still own it? excellent question. I shall write a blog about that as well :P
As luck would have it, in the flight, the 2017 August edition of United airlines magazine was about Montana. The editor wrote about his 3-day experience in Montana. This is where I first got to know that huckleberries are found there in abundance. Mark Twain’s Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry fin were some of my earliest novels that I had read in my school days. I mentally made a note to make sure I try the famous huckleberry pie no matter what! And I did try most of the huckleberry delicacies, more on that later. In this process, I probably did annoy Shruti and Manasi because they could not understand my obsession with huckleberries. I am not really sure either, but, with the hunger pangs and given the fact that these berries are not found everywhere and their delicacies are part of ‘the’ Montana experience, I wanted every bit of it :)
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