#or his ghost/memory would keep like poking fun at him when he's stressed

[megah3rz]

congratulations to Asagiri Gen for winning the Dead Wife Award while being neither a wife or dead

[mediocre-writerr]

betty [quinn fabray]

quinn fabray x fem reader

summary: the last part of my quinn fabray mini series! this takes place in the pov of quinn and her side of the story! enjoy : )

*not my gif*

“Quinny?” my mom poked her head through the door, “You got to get ready for school.” she says softly. 

I groaned as I shoved my head into a pillow. I didn’t want to go to school today or well ever for that matter. 

And you’re probably thinking: Quinn what teenager actually wants to go to school? 

i did...once. When I didn’t fuck up the best thing that ever happened to me. Meeting her at her locker, holding her hand down the hall, singing songs to her in glee club. All of it. But that’s all faded away like a moment in time. 

“Not today.” I mumble. 

“Quinn, honey, I let you miss so much school these past couple months. I need you to go just this once.” she whispers before closing the door. 

I let out another groan as I pulled the covers off my body. Stumbling my way into the bathroom. As I look in the mirror the pit that was in my stomach continued growing. 

I hated how I looked. I hated how I felt. I fucked up. It was all on me.

And it all started at junior prom.

“Love, dance with me!” Y/N yelled over the loud music that was playing, trying to pull me out of my seat at the table I was sitting at. 

I smiled widely at her enthusiasm before raising my eyebrows at her. She knows I hate the crowds. Sure, I was popular and wanted the attention.

But there’s a difference between walking down the hall like a bad ass than being trapped in a crowd of thousands, feeling like you’re suffocating and sweating.

“This is my favorite song.” she pouted when I gave her the look. 

I pulled the hand that she had in her hand closer to me. Giving it a sweet kiss, “Next dance, I promise.”

She pouts a little before running back off to the dance floor. I sat there drinking the spiked punch, letting the alcohol burn all the way down my throat and into my stomach. Leaving a warm sensation behind. 

I watched Y/N’s every move. She wasn’t very far away from where I was planted. Jumping up and down, doing crazy dance moves, with Sam. 

I love Sam with every bone in my body, but I was always jealous of the blonde boy. He was a nice guy, funny, good looking and super close to Y/N. 

“Looks like your girlfriend is having more fun with Sam, than she is with you.” Santana says, leaning against the chair I was sitting on.

“I don’t like the crowds. She knows that. She’s just trying to enjoy her prom.” I mumble, trying to ignore her snide remarks. 

Santana hums in response before taking a sip of her own punch, “Sure, let’s keep telling yourself that. And I’ll be the one saying ‘I told you so’ when she leaves you for him.” 

That was it. That’s what started my insecurities. 

Was I good enough for Y/N? Or will she find her own non-complicated love with Sam or Finn? Was Santana right?

After procrastinating for God knows how long, I finally made it to school. 

“Quinn!” Mercedes yelled getting my attention away from locker. 

I tried forcing on my best smile, “Hey what’s up?” 

“You’re coming to Y/N’s party tonight right? Everyone’s gonna be there! I don’t want you to miss it.” Mercedes said.

I shook my head looking down at my shoes, “No. I wasn’t planning on going. I don’t think she would want me there anyway.” I mumble.

Mercedes looked at me sympathetically, “Well I want you to come. Dig yourself out of the depressing hole you’re in and come hang out with people who care about you. Think about it, okay?” 

I nod before she goes running off to talk to Kurt. I open my locker and stare at the cardigan hanging off of one of the hooks. My eyes dart around my locker to see the pictures of the two of us hanging on the walls. 

I miss her.

The bell rings and I weave my way through the somewhat crowded walls and into my anatomy class for homeroom. I take my seat next to Jacob Ben Israel and sigh softly. 

“Alright class take your seats!” Mr. Barnson yells as he walks in the door, taking his bag off.

I look at the empty stool next to me. Y/N wasn’t in here today. She must’ve stayed home. I wish I could’ve, especially after what happened yesterday. 

“Jacob, you’re going to be Ms. Fabray’s new lab partner.” he says and I watch as Jacob’s eyes lighten up.

The afro-hair kid coming to sit next to me, “Can I smell your hair?” he asks, disturbingly. 

I shutter in disgust and raise my hand, “Yes Ms. Fabray?” 

“What happened to Y/N?” I ask.

“Ah, Ms. Y/L/N switched homerooms this morning.” he says nonchalantly while looking back at his list for attendance. 

Oh. 

The day went on and on, dragging like a bad movie that wouldn’t end. Until finally it did. 

I walked to school today. I’ve been walking to school the past couple months. It was a nice break to just clear my head and think about everything. Sometimes it hurt to do, but it was much needed. 

I didn’t want to go straight home today. I didn’t want to go home and just lock myself in my room, curling up into a ball of nothingness. So I walked around more. 

“Quinn? Do you need a ride?” I hear a voice ask.

I turn towards the voice to see Mike and Tina in his car, “No thanks. I think I’m just gonna walk.” 

“Okay. Well we’ll see you tonight, right? We all miss hanging out with you.” he suggests.

“I don’t know.” I say looking anywhere, but them.

“You should.” Tina says before the light turns green and they drive off with a wave. 

I continued walking until I found myself at the mall need Breadstix. I hate the mall. 

I used to love going there with Santana and Brittany back during sophomore year of high school. When I was dating Finn and head Cheerio, but now it just reminds me of everything that went wrong. 

When my insecurity was at its greatest peak. 

“Hello beautiful!” I say as I answer Y/N’s phone call, walking through the mall. 

“Hi love! I miss you so much.” she whispers and I smile softly.

I hear rustling coming from her side of the phone, another girl’s voice, “I miss you more.” I say softly, “Who are you with?”

“Oh I’m with my friend Lizzie. She’s also a intern here and we’re just having dinner! She’s really cool!” Y/N said excitedly.

The rest of the conversation was about her internship and the amazing stuff she was learning and the new people she was meeting. How much she was having.

I should have been happy for her, but all I could think about what was, how much her life is better without me? What a fun life she could have without me? 

I left the mall that I was once walking in and nothing seemed good enough to buy. I was getting closer to my house as I was walking on the broken cobblestone. Just thinking about her.

How much I just want her to come back home and into my arms. How much I want her to let me know that I’m the only one she wants and that I am good enough for her.

Someone’s car came by slowing down next to me as they rolled their window down, pulling me out of my thoughts. Santana was sitting in the driver’s seat with her sunglasses on. Her usual high pony was down which revealed her curly brunette hair. 

She looked like a figment of my worst intentions. Her lips stained with a dark red lipstick and the way she was eyeing me. It just sent shivers down my spine. 

“Quinn, get in, let’s drive.” 

And those four words was all it took. Well four words and a human full of loneliness. 

A car honks shaking me from that terrible terrible memory. Leaving me with a mind and head full of thoughts. 

Should I go to the party tonight? Will she want me there? Will I regret not going? 

There’s two ways me going would play out.

1.) I would get there and she would open the door and slam it on my face. Then she would open it again just to tell me to go fuck myself. 

I shutter at the thought of the most likely scenario. The sun was setting turning the sky into a cotton candy looking sky. What a beautiful sky for a stressful decision. 

Santana laid next to me on the grassy field of my backyard. It was a cotton candy color as the orange hue blended with the dreamy blue. 

I spent the week driving around with Santana. We would go exploring the small town in Lima or just drive around singing to random songs. 

We laid there in silence just staring up at the sky. She took my hand in hers intertwining them together. And in that moment I didn’t care. I wanted to feel something, anything. 

Anything besides this pit of loneliness. 

She turned her head towards mine. And in a beat her lips were on mine. It was soft at first yet passionate. Then the next thing I knew, clothes were flying off, and hands were roaming. 

2.) Y/N opens the door and sees me standing there. I apologize for everything, she leads me to our spot in the backyard. And kiss me in front of everyone. 

Yeah like that would ever fucking happen. 

I didn’t know what I was expecting when Y/N came back from Pennsylvania. After the many nights spent with Santana, I dropped her. Or well ghosted her I should say.

I didn’t answer her calls or her texts. I knew what I did was wrong and I decided to just end it before things could get any worse. 

Was it fucked up? 

Yes, but I did what I had to try and salvage what I had left in our relationship.

I thought I could get away with it too. Until the guilt started eating me alive. The pit in my stomach wasn’t loneliness, it was guilt. 

And then Santana told Brittany. Brittany told Artie. Artie told Tina. Tina told Mike. Mike told Puck. Puck told Mercedes. Mercedes told Kurt. Kurt told Blaine. Blaine told Rachel. Rachel told Finn. Finn told Sam. Then finally, Rachel told Y/N since no one else had the heart to. 

Y/N slammed my locker shut causing me to flinch back, “Tell me she’s lying.” she whispers, her voice breaking. 

“Who’s lying love? What happened?” I say attempting to take her in my arms, but she took a step back.

“Tell me that you didn’t hook up with Santana while I was gone. And that it’s some weird vendetta against you.” she whispers staring at me. 

I couldn’t lie to her anymore. It was killing me. I didn’t want to lie anymore. I just needed to tell her. 

I just stared at her desperately trying to find an explanation. Desperately trying to apologize and explain everything to her, but no words came out.

“Y/N-”

“You did didn’t you?” Y/N asked barely in a whisper.

I nodded sadly and a sob escaped her lips. 

“Y/N please let me-” I try to say and she shakes her head.

“No. We’re done Quinn!” she yells in between sobs running off. 

I looked up and found myself in front of Y/N’s house. 

I wasn’t trying to go here. I guess my feet just carried me here. The party was in full swing and through her window I could see her just sitting there, nursing a cup. 

Her favorite song was playing and she wasn’t dancing. She was just sitting there, trying to smile, but was struggling too. 

It hurt me, knowing that I’m the reason for her pain. 

I hesitantly knocked on the door and the door flung open. Y/N was standing there and she was shocked, but her eyes softened. But it didn’t matter anymore because she covered it up with a harder shell. 

She came out and stepped onto the porch, closing the door behind her.

“Happy birthday.” I whisper.

She mumbles, “Thanks.” 

“Can we talk please?” I ask.

She was thinking about it. I could tell. Her eyes were furrowed and she was biting her lip. She looked in deep thought before nodding and leading me to the backyard garden.

There was a bench swing hanging from the trees. And we took a seat on there together. 

This is the spot. Our spot. 

We had our first kiss here. I asked her to be my girlfriend here. Everything happened right here. 

“Y/N I’m sorry. And before you say anything I know. I know sorry means nothing and it has no excuse for what I did. But I am so deeply sorry. I don’t know much and I don’t have much to say because I wasn’t expecting to come tonight But I do know that I miss you and you were the best thing that has ever happened to me.” I whisper letting all of the tears spill. 

She lets out a shaky sigh, “I know. I forgive you.” 

I smile softly and I try to lean in to kiss her, but she immediately pulls back. Leaving me embarrassed and heartbroken.

“Just because I forgive you doesn’t mean that I want to get back together. I know you know that what you did was wrong. And I trust you when you say that it wasn’t anything special. But it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. I love you Quinn Fabray, but I just can’t do this right now.” she whispers back.

She begins to wipe away the tears from my cheeks. I took in a deep breath before embracing the feeling of her touch. Y/N closes her eyes and rests her forehead on top of mine. 

I cup her cheeks into my hands. My thumb trying to memorize all of the crevasse, cheek bones, every little feature. 

“I will always love you and maybe we’ll be together one day. Just not today.” she whispers pulling away and kissing my cheek softly, “Goodbye Quinn.” 

[shaydeoffical]

Burnt Chocolate Kisses: Osamu Miya x Fem Reader!

Summary: Osamu and (Y/n),  think about their first valentines together, and find a way to celebrate their third anniversary after a busy day. 

Words: 2.5k

Warnings/keywords: fluff, light fighting, Suna with Barbz energy.

Author’s Note: This is for the Sweethearts Collide Collab I am hosting. Please go support everyone who joined in! I am so excited to share all these V-Day fics with you, and maybe make it a little less lonely for some of you! Please enjoy

Collab Masterlist: here  

Burnt Chocolate Kisses

"Samu." I sat my box down and rushed to meet him at the door. Rice was scattered across his hair and chest, not to mention there was a small patch on his cheek. His eyes were barely open, movements slow, as he took off his shoes. "I told you to let me help at the store today."         "Be glad you didn't." He stepped up from the genkan and slumped into my arms. "One couple tossed their food at the cashier. Instinct kicked it, and I spiked it across the store. I'm going to be collecting those free onigiri vouchers for the next three months."         "Valentine's day is about being with your loved ones and sharing a romantic evening. Yet, there's always an idiot or two who like to ruin the day for everyone. I'm sorry it was hell today." Rocking him lightly, we slowly edged our way to the kitchen. Part of the reason I stayed home today was so I could cook him a magical dinner. But my day hadn't gone to plan either.         "Why do I smell smoke?" Finding some energy, he moved past me and ran to the oven. Opening the door, the last billows of smoke rose up and out. "(Y/n); what happened? Are you okay?" Grabbing a towel, he fanned the air away from the smoke detector and glanced at my hands. There were few people in this world who'd be more interested in my well being than their stove in shambles.         "No burns this time." I laughed, gritting my teeth. The air was thick, my throat closing up. "I guess I did surprise you; there's just nothing to eat…" Inside the oven was a charred goose. We had watched someone cook a goose on Master Chef, and we had wanted to try it for a few months. He held his forehead and turned his back to me, getting the bird into the trash. "So, um, are you going to cook my goose over this?" My voice cracked, but I couldn't stop the joke from slipping out.

       He giggled to my relief. Osamu was a wonderful boyfriend; of course, we had some fights, but he never let it get out of hand. Though it was a different story between him and his twin. Atsumu always used me as a human shield from his brother during fights, and it worked every time. Osamu wouldn't risk hurting me, no matter how much he wanted to strangle his brother. "Nice pun, baby." Coming back to reality, I jumped up, sitting on the counter.         "Well, I wanted to make today special. But I think we both just want to try again tomorrow." I leaned my head against the cabinets. Soot had stained the ceilings and coated the light fixtures. To say I almost burned the house down was an understatement. Thankfully, 'Samu told me that if there was a fire in the oven, to just let it smother out by keeping the door shut.         "We have a history of celebrating the 15th, ya know." He slotted between my legs and pressed his soft stomach against mine. "We'll get our half-price teddy bears and snacks, walk around the park, maybe go to the arcade. Or."         "Or what?" Stealing a kiss, I tapped his nose.         "We just do what we did for our first valentines." He slowly kissed up my throat, nibbling here or there.         "No. Th-that doesn't count!" Blood rushed to my head, his hands ghosting up and down my back. "You can't sweet talk me into this. That was three years ago, and I didn't get to tell you how I felt. Plus, it was after midnight, so it doesn't count. Now, if you want to go skating like our first real valentines, I will."         "I'm not sweet talkin'," he bit down on my favorite spot, my hand anchoring in his hair. "Come on, it's nothin' scandalous. But if I have to keep persuading you, it might take a sloppy turn. I'm too tired to be any count tonight."         "I'm exhausted too." Pulling apart, his eyes sparkled, waiting for my reply. "Alright, let's do it." I jumped down and started to get my warm clothes on. "I'll make it up to you, for last time. Though this might tire us out more than we remember."         "Let's do it." He grabbed a quick snack and went to the bedroom to get changed. "It'll be fun." Hollering back at me, he poked his head out the door, and I could catch a peek at his chest, my chest fluttering.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Flashback

        "So you burnt 'em?" Atsumu held the obligation chocolates to the street light. "You skipped class to cook all day, and this is what you made?"         "Thank you (L/n), they'll make a nice paperweight." Suna snickered, placing the pink heart bag in his pocket. It was Valentine's day, and the three of us were waiting for Osamu to join us for the festival.         "Oi, (Y/n). Tell me you didn't burn your hommi cocos for my brother." Atsumu poked the bulge in my bag.         "I'm going to wait for next year. There's no way I can confess with these." Gripping the side of my bag, I swallowed hard. "No matter how many times I tried, it just… didn't turn out. Hey, wait. How the hell did you know that Osamu's were hommi cocos?" I gripped Atsumu by his collar.         "It's not hard to tell. You keep sneaking away from your club to watch us practice. Not to mention, you've been up each other's ass the past three years of school. It's only a matter of time before one of you does something about it." Suna snuck out one of his chocolates and took a chase bite. His eyes bugged, this throat struggling to swallow the charred candy.           "Damn it." I stomped my foot. A dust cloud formed, sweeping through the crowd of people around us. The weather had been dry for a while; there was a debate on whether it was safe or not to have a fireworks display this year. That's when I was going to give Samu his candy, but things weren't really working out. "I guess there's next year. Maybe we'll go to the same college?"         "What about next year?"         "Ahh, nothing." Twirling on my heels, Osamu was right behind me. Our shoulder's bumped when I turned; his hands steadied me. There were lots of thoughts racing through my head, but I couldn't help but notice how handsome he was, the star's reflecting in his eyes.         "Sorry, I'm late." He smoothed the wrinkles on my sleeves and smiled. "Now, what are we planning for next year? A date without these two idiots?"         "I resent that." Suna looked towards the food booths.         "(Y/n) would rather it just be us, right?" Atsumu pulled me into his arms, pressing my head against his chest.         "Cut it out." I wriggled in his hold.         "I'm the superior twin by far. Who wants to spend time with a loser like Samu, when I'm right here?"         "Let them go, Tsumu." Osamu's voice was even. I was surprised he wasn't trying to lunge around me to hit his brother.         "She even gave me and Suna coco's, isn't that right (Y/n)?"         "She did." Suna agreed, egging them on.         "What's wrong with you?" I finally broke free. "Why are you trying to start a fight?" Atsumu grinned like a fox, holding up the candy I made him. When I looked at Osamu, he seemed crestfallen. The two fought all the time. Why was he so hurt this time? I had made him candy…it just wasn't good enough.         "Just say it (Y/n). I know you want to." Atsumu pushed me towards his brother. "Tell him how you really feel."         "Enough, Atsumu." I dug in my heels. "Can't you just let us have a good night? This is the last Valentine's we're going to have- Oh my god, Rintaro Suna. Put that god damn camera away." Tugging my hair, I noticed a crowd has started to form. Shaking, I hid my face in my hands. "I can't believe you two."         "Come one (Y/n)," Osamu took my hand, breaking the crowd so we could pass. "Let's do what we always do."         "Ditch our friends and stuff our face?" I sniffled, clutching onto his kimono.         "Of course." We stopped in front of a booth selling sweets. "I'm really sorry about the things that were said." I played with the strings hanging from my outfit. "Let's just focus on making happy memories now. Like you said, this could be our last chance to do this again." He stepped closer to me, tucking me under his arm as a large group passed us. There wasn't much of a line, and in a few minutes, it was our turn. My eyes were glued to the apples, and Samu noticed. "Two candy apples, please."         "Here." I tried to pass him some cash.         He pushed it back into my palm and handed me the apple. "It's my treat today."         "It's your treat every day." A pout settled on my lips until I dug into the apple. The red candy coating crunched, and the sweet juice rushed into my mouth. "Hmm, this is good. We should try to make some of these next weekends."         "We should. Let's make it a date." He grabbed my hand, walking towards the line for the next booth, which was selling ticker fish. Diving through the people, my heart was nestled in my throat.         "You shouldn't sound so casual, or I'll get the wrong idea." Someone stepped back, and I tripped over their foot. My candy apple went flying, and my arms failed for any support.         Osamu caught my upper half and eased me into a squat before I crashed. Popping back up, I apologized to the man, and he went on his way. "You okay." Samu dusted off my dress and examined my knees for any stress.         "Thanks to you, I'm fine." I looked at my candy apple, crusted with dirt. "But my apple isn't." The line was moving fast, so I nudged him forward. "Seams like today has been nothing but bad luck for me."         "Is that so? Why?" He ordered the fish, a few drinks and some grilled chicken too. As the food was being prepared, he handed me his apple. We shared food all the time, this was no different, but something was off. His fingers brushed mine when he handed it off. Sure the stick was hard to balance, but this was…so soft. Osamu grabbed the food and re-entered the crowd.         "Well, I-." Pushing my shoulder's back, I bit into his apple and collected my thoughts. We veered off the path with our dinner and find a quiet place to sit and eat. "I was making hommi cocos for someone special, and they burned…multiple times." I plopped down on the grass and took another bite of the apple.         "So Atsumu was lying." Osamu showed me his phone. Atsumu had texted him a picture of the obligation chocolates I made him.         "Yup, he just wanted to upset you." The fire flies lit up the sky as our eyes adjusted to the dark. A breeze filtered through the area, and I scooted closer to Samu for warmth.         "So you were making the hommi cocos for me?" He held out a piece of fish for me, and I used my teeth to pull it off the stick.         "Like I said, today's been terrible." I curled into my knees. "I can't share my true feelings with burnt chocolate."         "I see." He looked at his watch then the sky. "The fireworks about to start. Which means it's almost midnight." He reached over and took another bite of his apple. "We can just wait till then."         "It won't count if we wait, though." I realized that I was basically admitting my crush then and there, but there was no point in pretending now.         "Our feelings will be the same today and tomorrow." He reached into his bag. "I made these for you."                 "Sumu." It was a box of cocos; they were wrapped in pink ribbons and had special frosting with my name. "You, put so much effort into this, I. I defiantly can't show you what I made."         Fireworks went off in the sky above, raining down red and pink sparkles. They illuminated his eyes, making them glow almost. His face was inches from mine, our breath shared. "They are hommi cocos. I couldn't wait for white day. I didn't know for sure if you returned my feelings, so just in case, I made these for you. I really like you (Y/n), please, be mine?"         "I don't know what to say. I had all these things planned, but I'm lost for words." I pulled back, handing him the box. "These aren't good enough to express my feelings, but I want you to know I tried." Having killed the moment, I wanted to kick my own ass for pulling away.         "You skipped class to make these?" he asked, popping one in his mouth.         "I did. Feel free to rub in how bad they taste." I laughed, wiping the sweat from my brow.         "They're perfect." He leaned forward again, but not as far. I met him halfway, our lips touching in a feathery test.

        "Mm, that is so much better without the taste of burnt chocolates." I slid off his lap and onto the blanket beside us. We had gone to a festival and got the same dishes as before. The firework show was about to start, and we finally were alone. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Present         "It was cute. You put some much effort into them that all I tasted was your love." He grabbed my chin, pulling me in for another kiss.         "My love and scorched caramel." Leaning against his chest, I looked at the sky, the first firework going up. "I'm glad you were braver than I was back then."         "As much as Atsumu pissed me off, I'm glad he tried to push together." A loud boom spoked me, of the fireworks bigger than usual. It made a giant red heart.           "He sped things up for sure. Thinking back on the day, there were a lot of disasters, but it was all worth it. Because I got to find the love of my life." I laced our fingers together. "I wish for us to always be together."         "We will; no need to wish for it." He kissed my knuckles, his knee knocking down the stick from our food. "Thank you for working so hard today."         "Well, burning stuff is my love language." I giggled, and we curled deeper into each other.         "I love you (Y/n)." He closed his eyes, starting to drift off. After a hard day's work, he needed a little rest. Considering how hard he fought it to spend time with me today, I could let him use me as a pillow.

[kryptkept]

(   ellie thatcher ,   female ,   she/her  )   apparently   that's   𝐋𝐘𝐃𝐈𝐀 𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍   lurking   around   town   for   a year .   the   local   psychic   claims   they're   a   𝐕𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐄   (   record store clerk   )   who's   𝟐𝟑   /   𝟒𝟓  years    old    but   she's   always   been   a   bit   unhinged .   whispers   around   town   say   they're   intrepid ,   artful   but   mordant .   honestly ,   they   remind   me   of   using pages of the bible as tinder for a fire , getting a stick & poke in your best friend’s basement , & the liberation of forsaking your savior   which   explains   why   i've   seen   them   with   an   aged rosary . 

𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄.   lydia emerson  ;  born as  lydia anne morgan  . 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐒𝐄𝐒.   lydia myers  ,  sawyer augustine  ,  valerie tatum smith  ,  various others  . 𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒.   lyd  ,  lydz  ,  deetz  . 𝐀𝐆𝐄.   physically 23  ;  truly 45  . 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑.   female  ;  she/her  . 𝐒𝐄𝐗𝐔𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘.   bisexual  . 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐄𝐒.   vampire  . 𝐎𝐂𝐂𝐔𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍.   clerk  @  quiet riot records shop  . 𝐇𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘.

(   tws for  :  abuse  ,  loss of a child  ,  alcoholism  ,  attempted murder  ,  period typical misogyny  ,  if i’ve forgotten to tag anything or you need something tagged please let me know  !   ) lydia was born in 1960 to a moderately unhappy pair looking to save both face  &  their miserable marriage  .  while they had initially been informed that they were expecting twins  ,  lydia’s sibling died in utero  &  thereafter was absorbed by lydia herself in a case of twin resorption  .  while there was little explanation for this phenomenon at the time  ,  lydia’s mother  ,  theresa  ,  was distraught  ,  under the assumption that lydia must have killed her sibling in the womb if only she had survived  ,  and began to view the child growing inside of her as something akin to the devil  .  this belief was only exacerbated by the difficult pregnancy she endured with lydia  ,  anf further stoked by her strict catholic beliefs  . after her birth  ,  theresa’s feelings remained unchanged  ;  she was a withdrawn  ,  angry mother  ,  forced to keep up the act of a perfectly quaint little family in front of friends  &  family  .  unfortunately  ,  theresa fell victim to severe postpartum depression which would devolve into full blown psychosis  .  given the time period  ,  this went largely unnoticed for the most part  ,  written off as the stress a new mother must endure for the sake of her child  .  meanwhile  ,  lydia’s father  ,  richard  ,  was of little help  .  he was similarly withdrawn but as opposed to theresa  ,  this was less rooted in hatred and more in the general apathy he faced most things with  .  coming from a broken home himself  ,  directionless in life  &  uninspired  ,  he’d long since turned to the drink as a way of coping  &  the arrival of his daughter had done little to change that  . in a hazy memory that haunts lydia to this day  ,  she can recall the day her mother wrapped both hands around her throat a the tender age of three  ,  and attempted to squeeze every last bit of life from her  .  all the while  ,  she was shrieking like a banshee about how lydia was a demon  ,  the antichrist  ,  nothing but a  plague  .  her father found them moments before lydia slipped into unconsciousness  ,  and she has little recollection of what happened between them after that  . the situation itself resulted in theresa’s departure  .  this would eventually lead to lydia being left in the care of her maternal grandparents after three more years spent with her father  ,  who spent more time under the influence than he did sober  .  her grandmother  &  grandfather were strict and very much orthodox  ,  though they  did  love her  ,  but their expectations of her were far too lofty  .  they weren’t the affectionate type  ,  but were more prone to physical rewards than words of praise or hugs  .  her childhood  &  adolescence were pockmarked with various attempts at rebellion  ;  talking back  ,  sneaking out of sunday school  ,  sneaking out at home  ,  meeting up with the outcasts in town despite often being warned to steer clear of them  ,  stealing  ,  etcetera  .  lydia was desperate to feel something and in pursuit of pleasure  ,  she continued to act out and do as she pleased  .  she began to dabble in darker things  :  the supernatural  &  the occult  ,  namely  .  she was kicked out of her home at 18 and spent her time couch surfing  . as the 80′s rolled around  ,  she delved into the world of satanism  , urged on by the need to separate herself from her heavily religious upbringing  &  the ways in which her experiences during childhood had effected her  ;  essentially  ,  a big  fuck you  to the majority of her family  ,  and to god himself  .  at this point she was on the other side of the satanic panic  ,  laughing at those that protested and screeched about unholy corruption in things like music  &  literature  . lydia was well known on the scene .  with her sharp humor and devil may care attitude  ,  she was the life of the parties she frequently attended  .  and it was during the aftermath of one such event that she would come to lose her life  :  taken with a perfect stranger  ,  she’d followed him into the darkened alleyways as the party came to a close  ,  unaware of his intentions to quite literally bleed her dry  . when she woke the following night  ,  she was in a haze  ,  wobbling like a baby deer and overcome with a hunger so intense it almost sent her toppling to the ground  .

𝐈𝐍 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐍.

as opposed to some  ,  lydia accepted her fate with little complaints  .  in fact  ,  you might say she was a little  too  enthusiastic  ...  driven by thirst  ,  she slaughtered a group of college students and left them out in the open air of the park they’d been having a nighttime hangout at  .  she fled town soon after  ,  leaving behind the sunny shores of california for the emptiness of indiana  .  she began going by the name lydia myers meanwhile  . after that  ,  she never really stayed in one place for too long  .  she loved to travel  ,  enjoying her freedom immensely  ,  and found kin with the people she met along the way  .  most of these relationships were fairly fickle  ,  in the grand scheme of things  ;  most people she charmed out of necessity  .  it was nice to have a friend to call on when you needed a place to stay  ,  or a few bucks for bus fare  .  it was a genuine rarity for her to find herself truly attached to another  ,  because she feared commitment more than anything  ;  she still does  ,  in fact  .  letting someone grow close means giving them the chance to hurt you  ,  to leave you  ,  and lydia is  ...  not about that  .

𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐋𝐘.

though she’d initially vowed upon her departure that she’d never return to cali  ,  lydia has come slinking back  .  if you ask her why  ,  she’ll tell you it’s boredom  ,  and that much is true  —  but a pressing matter remains  :  that of her sire  .  she’s been running from him for 22 years since her turning  ,  but recently  ,  she’s felt a sharp tug on the thread that keeps them connected  .  both curious and vexed  ,  and maybe searching for an answer to a question she’s tried not to ask  ,  she’s tracked him back to ambrose  .  to support herself  ,  she’s taken up a job at the record store   (   one of the things she’s always enjoyed has been music  !   )

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘.

hello words are failing me so take some bullet point traits  .  :,) +   creative  ,  adventurous  ,  brave  ,  resourceful  ,  charismatic   (   when necessary   )  . -   manipulative  ,  sardonic  ,  evasive  ,  stubborn  ,  dishonest  ,  hotheaded .

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒.

hi please bring me her sire  .  i have  ... honestly too many ideas to list here because i don’t want to risk rambling for like  ,  eight paragraphs about everything lmao  .

i think it would be interesting if she ran into someone she hasn’t seen for years  .  maybe they were one of the people she used  ,  and they’re super pissed at her for how she just ghosted  .  or maybe they look back on her fondly  .

she antagonizes people for fun  .  please hate her

she’s also definitely the type to flat out tell people she’s a vampire  .  and like  ,  given her usual sarcastic  ,  jokey nature  ... people probably just take it as her messing around  .  which is even more hilarious to her  .  this could result in  :  1.  someone who constantly goes along with the ‘joke’  ,  who maybe later on finds out and either also thinks it’s funny  ,  is horrified  ,  or feels betrayed   (   to which lydz would respond with  but i told you  ?   )   2.  someone who is very suspicious of her and Does Not think it’s just a funny joke at all

𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑.

she loves going to the beach late at night  .  like  ,  the sand getting everywhere sucks  ,  but she’ll deal with it  .

she can be surprisingly generous when in a good mood  .  when she says don’t mention it  ,  she fuckin means it

loves motorcycles  ,  wants one someday

has an old polaroid camera from the 80′s that she still uses pretty frequently  .  she enjoys photography  !

i need you all to know i literally came up with her because i listened to kiss the go goat by ghost for hours on end over the span of a few days please help i can’t stop

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

An Unexpected Visitor (Sriracha, Part 40.)

Series description: A problematic college student gets the worst summer job of the ‘83 - Jim Hopper, the Chief of police in your hometown will have you as his secretary since his old lady Flo has two months lasting holiday. It was agreed so Hopper could keep you far away from all the trouble.

Part Summary: Early fall of ‘85. Everything seemed to be going just great - you were married, in love, almost finished with with your university studies, you had your baby back in your home and had some exciting news... Which was why someone had took you by a surprise.

A/N: I am honestly having so much fun, sksksks.

Word count: 3.1K

Tagging:  @nemodoren, @missdictatorme, @ysljordy, @creedslove​, @hopperlover, @btchsm, @rita-lean

Master list: H E R E

Series playlist: Jim Hopper 😠

You gave yourself three more days to accommodate to the new situation. It could be just the post-ceremony stress you were experiencing, right? Jim, as the good soul he was in his core, prepared you some breakfast the following morning, bringing it to your bed. It was obvious what you'll be doing that day since he took a day off and Eleven was staying at your mom's. James jokingly said that no-one will see you for the week following the wedding and look at that, he wasn't wrong.

As time went on, it was more and more obvious that something isn't completely in check with you. Whether it was the fact that almost every morning, you spent at least ten minutes with the feeling of being sick or the fact that you were capable of giving Jim a long lecture just because he didn't take off his shoes as soon as he got in. He was jokingly saying that you put your wife mode pretty early and you, as well, chuckled at that. Not knowing what to think about all of that.

The holiday in Maine suddenly wasn't such a good idea as you thought it would be. It was supposed to be your honeymoon and a family holiday at once since your budget wasn't exactly the highest. You were supposed to visit some ultra-romantic location for three days with Jim and spend a week at Joyce's.

Yet a week before the trip itself, you decided that you want to keep the voucher from Joyce for later, sticking to the kids and Joyce for the whole ten days. Hopper sure was caught off guard with that since you were all over the place for the romantic weekend when Joyce gave you the voucher as a wedding gift, yet he didn't protest at all.

You chose Steve as your co-driver to take a short break from being with Hopper all the damn time and to savor those sweet moments on the gas station. A few years, the kids would be disgusted to see you being touchy-feely with each other. You remembered them grinning every time they were visiting your pace and Jim came home, automatically receiving a smooch and a hug for you. Now, they just turned away and talked about stuff. And also, you didn't want him to see you hyperventilating into a paper bag once vomit comes to your throat again.

Steve, on the other hand, kept you busy while he was driving or even if you were sitting behind the steering wheel. He was choosing some nice jams to sing along with kids, or you played some games like word soccer to keep you, Lucas, Dustin, and Nancy busy. Or, when the car was quiet for too long, Nancy would think of a word, letting you guess what she's thinking about. You chose a good bunch for the car ride. Robin, since she couldn't sit on any of the backseats, was mostly hiding in the trunk of Steve’s car and occasionally, she changed with one of the children.

When you were in the middle, changing with Steve, Hopper asked Nancy if she would drive at least for an hour or so because he needed some rest. She nodded, which meant that you got Mike into your car instead of Nancy - Wheeler for a Wheeler, as Dustin had said. Of course that Jim also couldn't see these two snuggling constantly, that was why he asked you to take Mike to your car.

Even if you were locked up with all of these psychos for a good portion of ten days, the vacation couldn't be better. You visited many places, went to a beach to swim and watched movies in the evenings.

"You don't look healthy. Is everything okay back there?" - Joyce asked worriedly when you, her, and Nancy were preparing some peanut butter sandwiches. You shot your gaze at Nancy, but... Who on earth would this girl tell about your sickness?

"That sounds like you're worried if my grumpy old husband..." - You told her loud enough to hear Hopper chuckle from watching the movie. - "It just came across that you think he's beating me. That's not the case, don't worry."

"Hopper beating you?" - Joyce burst out with laughter, looking at Nance who was also grinning. - "You'd sooner kicked his bottom than him even getting to beat you. No, I mean, are you okay? Since the wedding, you had lost a lot of weight and your hair also looks different. And you seem to be tired all the time since you arrived."

"And let's not forget about your morning trips to the bathroom. It's a miracle that El or Hopper didn't notice yet since you're not exactly discreet about it." - Nancy added from cutting the edges. It maybe came off as a rude comment, but it wasnt meant as one. Both of the women were just worried.

"Maybe it's just the nerves, as Robin said." - You tried to shake it off with a nervous smile and you mixed Dustin and Will’s hot cocoa they ordered. At that, both of the ladies looked at you with a face knowing something you didn't.

"What would Hopper say about another child? Have you talked about that?" - Joyce asked pretty blatantly, looking at the peanut butter jar innocently. You weren't exactly surprised that this was their main concern. It crossed your mind too. What if you were pregnant? Just theoretically? There were a few occasions where you nor James were exactly careful with what you were doing in the bed, especially when he came back from the dead.

A long exhale of yours was more than a thousand words. But when you saw Joyce's shocked face, you shook your head immediately. - "I mean, yeah, I theoretically asked him once or twice if having children is something he would still be up to, but his answer... I don't know, gals, it was... He didn't exactly say no, but he wasn’t jumping around with excitement either."

"See?" - Joyce asked fenced with the butter knife in her hand, having her duh face on. - "He's opened to it, and that is the best you'll get out of Hopper. He wasnt too excited about seeing you at the begging either, don't you think?" - She poked fun of you a bit, having Nancy smile as well. - "And now he proclaims it the best idea he ever had." - She walked up to you, hugging one of your sides, Nancy joining on the other side.

"We’ll be here if you'd need some help, okay?" - Nancy whispered. No matter what, the idea of being an auntie made both the ladies smile. And you as a mom? You hadn't a problem with getting Eleven and the children gange under your thumb, what would the difference with your baby be?

Yet you felt kinda nervous when you gave all of the food and drinks to the kids, sitting beside Hopper. Someone started the movie, but the man couldn't look away from you. - "Why are you staring at me? I thought that this phase is way beyond us." - You accused him jokingly, laying down on the couch to watch The Breakfast Club, which was chosen by the girls for the night. Other nights, you watched movies like The Planet of Apes or Star Trek, so it was a fine compromise. Or ’halfway happy’ as Jim and Eleven called it.

"You're not lookin’ good is what I wanted to say." - Hopper chuckled, watching your mouth open wide. - "I mean, you don't usually look this ugly, so I'm just worried." - Jim finished, teasing the living hell out of you. With a smile, you kissed him, feeling the familiar scratch of a beard on your face. - "Shut up and watch the damn movie, James." - You chuckled, getting into a good position.

You fell asleep on the couch in the middle of the movie, both of you. So even if it was Dustin and Mike’s sleeping place, they decided to sleep in the garden in a tent with Steve and Robin, who were telling them scary stories the whole night. You knew that because around three a.m., back pain waked you up and as soon as you got up, Hopper had conquered the whole couch by himself.

When you went to sit on the terrace with a cup of cocoa too, Steve was still sitting there by a fireplace, looking into it while the rest was dead asleep at that time. These lumberjack slumbers had to be heard miles away. The summer air was colder in the area since you were pretty close to the sea, which was nice.

"Some ghosts on your mind, huh?" - You whispered into Steve's ear after sneaking up on him, freaking him the hell out. With a chuckle, you sat down next to him, pulling your sweatshirt closer. Steve took a sip out of your mug without asking and you let him, watching the flames too.

"Can't fall asleep for a reason. You?" - Steve answered the question, looking at the profile of your face. - "Back pain and Hopper being spread all over the couch. Since I got married, I feel like an old lady with all these back pains and late-night waking up." - You chuckled back at the comment about you feeling old.

Yeah. Steve was just three or so years younger, yet the differences between you and him were undeniable. You were married, possibly pregnant, a mother, almost a college graduate with a psychology diploma, and an adult responsible for a man like James Hopper while Steve was just trying to figure out who he even was. He was single, he was still living with his parents and had a job at a video rental. You both were adults now but in different ways.

"It weirdly suits both of you. I am like... No expert, but you feel right together. Jesus, do you remember when I kissed you when we were playing that hide in seek?" - Steve asked embarrassed, looking at you. At that memory, you started to laugh with him, nodding. - "And I how I have shot the basketball ball into your forehead? You had a concussion or something." - You told him back, having him laughing as well.

"Mom was not letting me see the two of you for the next two weeks. She said that you're too dangerous to be friends with." - Steve smiled and then, suddenly you both slipped into your childhood memories once more. He was making you laugh the whole night. You got back to the couch by six in the morning. - "Where were you?" - Jim asked sleepily once you shoved him off your half of the couch. You didn’t answer him, you simply kissed him without saying a word. Oh, what fun making Jim quiet that night it was.

The other day, Robin, Jonathan, Steve, and Hopper planned some kind of a quest for the kids and no matter how adult they were trying to be, they were happy when the four adults told them. And what a better day to spend with your ladies than peeing on sticks, am I right?

"So, does it like have two strips or one strip?" - Joyce asked through the door, looking at the instructions she got at the pharmacy. She was confused as hell, but she wasnt willing to say it out loud. At that moment, you opened up the door, walking out, having three different pee sticks in your hand. - "Do I look like a gynecologist to you, Joyce?" - You asked ironically, putting them on a paper towel so you could all have a good look at what was in front of you.

The only thing Nancy did was that she opened up her mouth unbelievably, Joyce copying her actions within a second. Only you stood there, not knowing what the hell is going on. - "So, it's negative, right?" - You asked with a peal of horrified laughter only being the single thing you were capable of. And you almost fainted when both of them shook their heads in complete sync.

"All three are positive. So... Congratulations?" - Nancy whispered, still looking at the three pregnancy test in front of you. You, my friend, felt that you were in deep shit since that moment. It was your last day in Maine and the other day, Steve was driving you home again. The whole ride, you were quiet, looking out of the window. When Steve wanted to turn off Baba O’Riley, you stopped his hand by catching it, letting it play. The song was somehow translating to your situation with the lyrics like We’re all wasted and Don’t cry. You were feeling like crying.

Any other girl your age would be fine with it. Well, not fine, but they would somehow accept it. Yet you had a lot to think about. Should you let this one dream go? Should you get rid of the baby before Jim gets to know? What would his reaction even be? Jesus, you weren't that scared ever before. But you couldn't bring yourself to tell him nor to for that abortion. The only thing you did was visiting a doctor to confirm the news. It was too late to let the baby go anyway. The doctor could see you tearing up when they told you... - "Congratulations, you're going to be a mom."

A loud ring bell woke you up from your slumber. Jesus, you weren't ready to go to the hospital as a children psychologist that day. You lower back hurt, you were growling, your tummy was in immersive pain. You were getting real pregnant since the day it was confirmed. Maybe it was time to tell Jim and Eleven - but there was nothing sure until the end of month three, so there was no way telling them beforehand. Your mom knew and she almost went crazy with happiness. Yet the rest, no, you didn't consider it appropriate to tell them just yet.

You were in so much stress, as your doctor said, that you should wait before telling the others the news. There was no wonder - your fucking husband was a stressor at his best, Eleven was now at school in Hawkins, which didn't quite help and your new job as a psychologist in the local hospital was quite a burden too. You wouldn't be even able to finish the semester in time, probably, yet you already told your lector about the situation, thinking about taking something called a pregnancy break or whatever, starting the final semester again after you'd give birth. You'd also had a full right to continue studying while having a child home, taking the exams, and other things.

It wasn’t a big problem since the same man had you under his wings since 1983 and he was still friends with your parents. You already started to work on it with the man - first, you had to prove that you're pregnant for real with some report from your doctor, which you have already done. It was more chill than you'd ever say - you could ask for prolonging your studies without having to pay fees or whatever, but you didn't want to freak yourself out too early about being a real mom and... There was much to talk about.

Nonetheless, even in your first trimester, you felt super-pregnant, super huge and it was a wonder that you somehow covered the constant vomiting. It wasnt happening at that moment mostly, yet when it did, your whole dinner usually ended up in the toilet. You cussed as you ran the stairs down. Jesus, you were gassy as a living fuck. Holy damn. You farted on every step you took and when you needed to burb, well, that was something as well. And you were better at these activities than the boys or even your husband.

"I'm coming! I'm coming, just wait a minute, Jesus!" - You yelled at the door, supporting your lower back with your hand, the other one holding the railing. No-one was at home. Jim was at work and El was with her friends outside, probably having some milkshakes at Murphy’s. You still loved that place and you visited it frequently to talk with Ada and you other co-workers or just to have something ultra-unhealthy there with your family.

When you opened up the door, you felt like if you've run a marathon before that. You still had your palm on your lower back when you smiled at the persons who were ringing. It was a tall woman with a boy standing next to her, smiling at you with a surprise in her face. She expected Jim to open up the door. Instead of her ex-husband, it was a girl who was maybe half his age with a golden ring on her left hand.

"My name’s Y/N Hopper. I'm so sorry I didn't hear you ringing before, I was sleeping." - You smiled at the woman pleasantly, knowing that you've seen her before already. And the boy was just super cute. She nodded and took the sight of you once again. - "What are you looking for? Can I help you?" - You asked, inviting them in for a cup of coffee. Maybe it was the former owner of the house? That was where you knew her from?

"Oh, I'm just looking for James Hopper? His secretary told me he lives here?" - The woman asked while you started to prepare the cattle. She was looking around your kitchen, especially on Sara’s pictures on the walls while her boy wandered off to explore the living room.

"Yeah, he should be home every minute now. Do you and Jim know each other?" - You asked with a smile, making her choose between tea and coffee. She decided to have a coffee.

"My name’s Diane. I'm Jim’s ex-wife." - She told you, and when she did, the mug fell out of your palm, breaking into small pieces. You opened up your mouth, picking everything up before the boy would come there and cut himself. So that was where you knew her from. Jim’s old photos. Of course. - "And I need to talk to James as soon as possible."

[femalechibiblogger]

Kohina Ichimatsu Character Bio (Gugure Kokkuri-san)

Age: 7-11

Occupation: Elementary School Student

Family: Unnamed Parents (status unknown), Grandfather (deceased), Ancestors (deceased), Kokkuri-san (guardian), Inugami (guardian), Shigaraki (guardian)

Likes: Cupp Noodles, cheap junk food, not doing homework, messing with Kokkuri-san, cursing her enemies, acting like a doll, cute and fluffy things. 

Dislikes: Not eating cupnoodles, homework, Kokkuri-san being strict, Inugami stalking her, Shigaraki tricking her, being mocked, being alone again.

Voice Actor: Ryō Hirohashi

Description

Kohina Ichimatsu is the main character of the manga and anime, Gugure Kokkuri-san. Kohina lived alone in an old mansion for many years before summoning the fox spirit: Kokkuri-san. Since then, Kohina began to live with various animal spirits...even though she didn’t want them to live with her in the first place. Kohina claims to be an emotionless doll who feels nothing.

Personality

Kohina is an emotionless girl who appears to be emotionless, cold, and unfeeling. She often claims that she is a doll, because dolls do not feel anything or show any emotions. Because of this, Kohina hardly ever shows any emotions and cannot even smile (her eyes and mouth somehow fall off whenever she tries to smile). It is really unknown why Kohina claims to be an emotionless doll, as much of her past is unknown. Kohina had lived alone for quite some time before meeting Kokkuri-san, so she was used to always being alone. Kohina may act like a doll so she doesn’t feel sad about being alone, or the possibility that she may end up alone again. 

Despite her claims that she is emotionless, Kohina does have a mischievous side and dark sense of humor. She often pranks or teases Kokkuri-san and the other animal spirits within her home. She tends to poke fun at Kokkuri-san for being centuries old, sets Inugami on fire (he’s immortal so he can’t die), and is not afraid to compare Shigaraki to an insect. Kohina can be quite cold-hearted when someone tells her their sad backstory, as she’s not really interested in hearing it. Kohina tries to be funny, but her sense of humor is a bit warped for a child. 

Kohina claims that she does not need friends, as she claims that dolls do not feel lonely or become upset due to lack of friends. Despite this, however, Kohina has shown to become upset whenever her classmates make fun of her for her claiming to be a doll. Her female classmates tend to leave Kohina out when they have to do a group project, as they do not like her because she is a social outcast. Kohina tries to cope with this by going into ‘doll mode’ and hide her feelings. 

Kohina does express displeasure whenever someone is bragging, or if she is being forced to do homework or study. Kohina can become quite lazy, to the point where she will use violence and trickery to get out of doing her homework or studying for a test. Kohina has a great love for cup noodles. Before meeting Kokkuri-san, cup noodles were all she ever ate for every one of her meals. She even stockpiled on limited edition brands and flavors, even ones that were no longer sold in stores. If anyone throws out her cup noodles, she will become very angry and use threats against whoever threw out her stash. 

Deep down, Kohina does care about those who are closest to her. While she claims that she is never lonely, Kohina does actually feel lonely if Kokkuri-san, Inugami and Shigaraki are not around. When Kokkuri-san left her for a day, she began to cry while still claiming that she was a doll who could not feel saddness. Though Kohina hardly ever smiles, there have been times where she is able to smile normally...though it is still quite difficult for her to smile with out her eyes and mouth changing position.

It is unknown why Kohina is the person that she is...but it has been hinted/speculated that she did not have a good home life before summoning Kokkuri-san. Her acting like a doll may have been her way of coping with her loneliness. 

Relationships

Kokkuri-san: Kokkuri-san is a fox spirit whom Kohina had summoned out of curiosity. At first, Kokkuri-san tried to haunt her...though Kohina kept trying to get him to leave. After seeing that Kohina lived alone and live off of cup noodles, he decided to live with her and become her guardian...much to Kohina’s annoyance. Though Kokkuri-san claims to be like her father, he is more like a mother for various reasons: He cooks, he cleans, he is feminine when it comes to his appearance, he saves money when he goes shopping, and he often gossips with the neighborhood old ladies. Kokkuri-san is very protective of Kohina, and even spies on her while she is at school to make sure that she is not being bullied. Kokkuri-san often worries about Kohina, and is determined to make her act more like a human than a doll. Though Kohina can be quite mean towards him, she does, in fact, care about him and becomes lonely if he is not with her. It is revealed that in Kohina’s past life, she saved Kokkuri-san and he proceeded to take care of her...until she grew ill and died when she was a young adult. After finding her current incarnation, he decided to take care of her and to make her smile. He has the ability to turn into a fox, a child, and even a woman. 

Inugami: Inugami is a dog spirit who is obsessed with Kohina. Before he became a spirit, Inugami was a normal dog who had been abandoned in a small box on the side walk. One day, Kohina saw him and played with him for a bit. When he was 3 years old, he was killed as part of a ritual to curse someone, and became a dog spirit. He has the power to grant people fame and fortune, but the person he haunts eventually succumbs to his power, loses everything, and is eaten by the spirit. Two years after becoming a spirit, Inugami met Kohina again and declared his love for her. Kokkuri-san attempted to get rid of him, but Inugami was able to make a deal with Kohina by offering her cup noodles. Since then, he began to live with Kohina and Kokkuri-san as their pet. Inugami claims to hate everything and everyone that is not Kohina, and is determined to make her his bride. He is often killed by Kokkuri-san, but always comes back to life since he is a spirit. Inugami often transforms into a small puppy or a woman, as a way for him to be close to Kohina. Kohina has no intention of becoming his bride, and only sees him as a pet dog.

Shigaraki: Shigaraki is a tanuki spirit who specializes in tricking people. Shigaraki is a type of spirit who does nothing but gamble, cheat, drink, and smoke. Shigaraki and Kokkuri-san were roommates in the past...but Kokkuri-san hated living with him because he was lazy, messy, perverted towards women, and always caused trouble for him. Before living with Kohina, Shigaraki lived with other families and would bring them riches through gambling and placing bets...though he eventually lost all of their money and brought the families to ruin. Though Shigaraki is an example of the lowest of the low...he does, in fact, care a lot for children and regularly donates money to an orphanage that houses the remaining children from the families he had ruined (their parents likely left due to debts or committed suicide because Shigaraki had, unintentionally, lost all of their savings in gambles and bets). Kohina’s opinion of him is very, very low and often calls him ‘scum’. She even compares him to an insect. Despite her dislike for the tanuki spirit, Shigaraki does protect her from evil spirits, and even received a scar from one after he stopped it from eating Kohina. At one point, Shigaraki was married and had a daughter...but they both left him because of his vices and it became a traumatic memory for him. Shigaraki can turn into an animal, though it seems that he cannot turn into a woman like Kokkuri-san and Inugami.

Tama: Tama is a cat spirit who runs a small cafe. Tama is obsessed with dolls, especially ones that are creepy, and thought that Kohina was a doll and tried to keep her. She kidnapped Kohina and trapped her inside her cafe, which is filled with very creepy (and possibly cursed) dolls. When it comes to her dolls, Tama is very strict with them, to the point that Kohina became very stressed and managed to escape her cafe. Tama can be a bit rough when taking care of children, and can be violent either by accident or on purpose. She claims to be a great cook, though her cooking may also be either cursed or somehow alive...though people who have eaten it admit that her cooking is, in fact, delicious. When Kokkuri-san, Inugami and Shigaraki turned into children because of magic water, Kohina called Tama to come take care of them, showing that she seems to trust Tama enough to ask for her help. Kohina once joked that Tama’s mother had been turned strings for a Shamisen...which Tama believed and now she calls the Shamisen her ‘mother’, despite Kohina’s attempts to tell her that she was just joking. Tama can transform into a cat

Tengu: Tengu is a mountain spirit who knows everything that goes on within the forests and mountains. Being a Tengu spirit, he is very perverted towards young boys. He will only give information if he is paid in pictures of young, cute boys. Despite this, however, Tengu can become serious when talking about bound ghosts or his first love. Tengu wears a mask at all times. His reason for this is because his face is so beautiful, that anyone who looks at it will become entranced and then lose their memories. At first, Tengu didn’t seem to like Kohina, because he is not interested in girls. But after Kohina saw his face and was not affected by it, he began to like her despite her being a girl. Kohina neither likes him nor does she dislike him...but she does think that he is useful sometimes.

Kureha: Kureha is a female ghost who is bound to a maple tree whose leaves are always red, no matter what season. Long ago, Kureha’s boyfriend went off to fight in a war, and promised to return to her at the tree. Unfortunately, he had died in battle, and Kureha continued to wait for him no matter what. She eventually passed away while waiting underneath the maple tree, but became a ghost bound to the tree. Kohina thought that she should have left instead of waisting her time waiting, but also felt bad for her since she was still waiting for her boyfriend to return to her. Kokkuri-san was able to find out that her boyfriend had been reincarnated as the very maple tree that she was bound to. Afterwards, she remained a ghost bound to the tree, but was happy to be with her boyfriend. It turned out that he could also talk, even as a tree, and admitted that it takes a lot of hard work to keep the tree’s leaves red.

Jimeko: Jimeko is a girl who is in the classroom next to Kohina’s. The two of them were in the same class the year before, and Jimeko wanted to be friends with her. But because she is a shy tsundere, Jimeko would place a vase filled with flowers on her desk everyday the next year. At first, people thought that Kohina was being bullied (in Japan, a white vase with a flower in it means ‘death’, and is seen as a form of bullying in Japan). Kohina grew used to the flowers being on her desk everyday, and did not feel hurt or threatend...which made Jimeko mad. When Jimeko told Kohina about how she would spend her allowance on the flowers, and deliver them no matter how bad the weather was, Kohina told her to stop doing it since the only one getting hurt by the flowers was Jimeko’s health and wallet. Jimeko hopes to one day becomes friends with Kohina, but Kohina just finds her irritating and weird.

Yamamato: Yamamato is a boy in Kohina’s class. When Kohina was asked if she was interested in any boys, she mentioned how she couldn’t stop staring at Yamamato, which made Kokkuri-san and Inugami believe that she had a crush on him. When they actually saw Yamamato...they were surprised to see that he was actually an alien and not at all human. Though he is obviously an alien, Kohina and everyone else believe that he is a human...despite him obviously being from outer space. Yamamato is popular amongst his classmates because he is kind, smart, handsome, and takes good care of his little sister (which is a little alien that emerges from inside his mouth). Kohina claims that he is Kokkuri-san’s friend and not her’s, but Kokkuri-san doesn’t really like Yamamato because he is freaked out by him. Yamamato likes to hang out with Kohina, and even took her and Kokkuri-san to visit him parents on his home planet. He may have used some kind of brainwashing to make people see him as a human.

Family: Not much is known about Kohina’s family, as they are never really seen and are rarely mentioned. Kohina has lived by herself for quite a long time, judging by the amount of empty cup noodle bowls in her house, and was quite used to being alone. Kohina once mentioned that her parents fought all the time, and she would cope with it by acting like a doll...though she said this as an excuse to not do her homework, so it is unknown if what she said was true or not. In the manga, she mentions that her parents are alive and well...though they are never seen. She also mentioned having a grandfather who had died at some point, and it is implied that they were quite close. Judging by how big her home is, it can be speculated that her family had a lot of money, which could explain how she was able to afford food while living alone. Kohina is a hereditary witch, meaning that she got her ability to attract spirits from her mother. This could mean that her mother’s side of the family has a connection to spirits. If Kohina’s parents are alive, then it may be that they had abandoned her for some reason. Since there are no pictures of them in the house, it is possible that Kohina’s relationship with them was quite strained. There is a warehouse on the property that contains mystical artifacts, that have been passed down from generation to generation by Kohina’s ancestors. Some of her ancestors are mentioned to have had a dark sense of humor, and liked to see their enemies troubled by cursed objects and trying to reverse them.

Gallery

Gifs

[mckittyarts]

hey guys sorry about the couple of days i wasn’t posting!! this thing took a little longer than i thought-- but yeah! i’ve seen other artists draw their own interpretations of all the incarnations of Links, and i finally decided to draw the versions i’ve made up together with a friend of mine all in one place! get a load of these fools

tumblr wouldn’t let me post these in rows without them getting super blurry so there’s gonna be closeups, headcanons, etc under the cut

Time (Ocarina of Time/Majora’s Mask):  - post-majora’s mask but he still has the scars from oot(dont ask me how idk either)  - Really Fucked up. Very Strange Grandpa  - despite actually having had the years to grow up this time he still acts like a kid  - idk i can’t really describe him but he’s just been through so much stress his only remaining emotion is essentially just “:)”  - he’s gone back to hyrule and is just kinda wandering around he got those two shoulder pads as a gift and they’re based off of the ones he has as a ghost  - the gauntlets are redesigned golden gauntlets only because i forgot what they looked like  - he’s missing his right eye from a wolfos and lost his finger when Ganon slapped his sword out of his hand also he has goron tattoos on his shoulders  - headcanon that he’s Zelda’s twin brother but they just never were told about it

Sky (Skyward Sword):  - he’s got Sleepy Bitch Disease  - just wants to rest...... please let him Sleep For Once  - he gets very snappy and Rude, especially when he’s tired but he’s pretty patient and sweet around people he’s fond of  - headcanon that he has some form of asthma(because in game hes like constantly gasping for air)  - after the events of his game hes just Tuckered Out and just wants to sleep for the rest of his life  - i didn’t really give him any redesigns, just let him keep his skyloft outfit  - his scars are from demise and ghirahim(jerks)

Twi (Twilight Princess):  - COUNTRY BOYYYY I LOVE YOUU  - furry boy go awooo  - amazing with animals and kids but doesn’t really cope too well in social situations because he gets Nervous  - GAY. I WONT ACCEPT ANY OTHER ANSWER  - headcanon that he’s the direct descendant of Time  - goes back to his Farming Ways after the War and just chills with the rest of Ordon village  - most of his scars are from those stupid Ghost Rats but he also has some others from Ganondorf

Wild (Breath of the Wild):  - ‘scuse me everyone certified ROWDY BOY comin through  - he seems very normal from a distance but as soon as you get close to him you will realize that you just found a Raccoon  - *sees anything* oh! yum!  - really, really loves cooking and is actually really good at it even if his ingredients come from questionable locations  - headcanon that along with every other memory he lost, he also forgot most of what was pressuring him before his Death and is now completely unhinged and will not stop for anyones social standards  - he has a couple scars from being blasted by guardians but honestly most of his other ones are because he just really loves rolling down mountainsides

Warrior (Hyrule Warriors):  - hh,,, Anxious boy :(  - he just really wants approval and he damn well deserves it  - when he first got appointed as the hero of whatever and got the master sword he was honestly starting to get a bit cocky  - but then Cia Promptly ripped all of that confidence and Rude Boy Behaviour out of him and he became :( again  - he could speak beforehand but he got an injury during the battles and is now rendered practically mute  - has a couple major scars underneath his scarf/tunic but he managed to keep his face mostly unscathed somehow

Albi (A Link Between Worlds/Tri Force Heroes):  - Shy,,,, doesnt like Attention  - honestly just wants to be left alone but since he’ss the hero of whatever people just Gave Him Too Much Love  - broke down and is now Fashionable  - sometimes likes to sew or paint  - headcanon that he’s colourblind(tritanopia)  - those little marks on his skin are little “wall cracks” from merging too often  - has a few scars but no important ones tbh

Minish (The Minish Cap):  - small and Super Mad About It  - he’s extremely quiet and only really ever talks if he’s mad or asked a question  - and even then he says as few words as he can possibly muster  - really dedicated blacksmith and is pretty good at his job despite his age  - still hangs out with Zelda a whole lot theyre still Best Friends  - the scar is from his fight with Vaati and he got an undershirt with a collar to hide it a bit because he feels a bit self conscious about it :(

Engi (Spirit Tracks):  - BABY BOY. BABY  - fuckin LOVES trains. he would Probably Die without them. still an engineer  - completely polite and sweet, calls you sir and stutters a whole lot  - also likes to fidget when he doesn’t have anything to do with his hands  - secretly completely RIPPED and could probably break you in half if he just weren’t such a sweetheart  - missing tooth from Byrne smacking him in the face with his Metal Hand and constantly has scratches but thats just cuz hes clumsy  - headcanon that he’s the grandson of Wind  - another headcanon that he can see ghosts since he was the only one who could see Zelda when she got absolutely annihilated 

Wind (The Wind Waker/Phantom Hourglass):  - SHIP AHOY BITCHES  - absolutely Stupid. goddamn Fool, complete and utter buffoon  - tends to be a bit direct and a little too honest but as i said before. complete Dumbass  - ADORES to tease and poke fun as long as no one gets hurt  - swears like a sailor and IS a sailor. Its All Connected  - has a crooked nose because SOMEONE launched him at a wall that one time. Also from that explosion that launched him into that other wall that other time  - all his little jewelry things are treasures he found along the way

Alti (A Link To The Past/Oracle of Seasons/Ages/Link’s Awakening): - oof this boi has been through So Much - just so tired of this shit.......... wants a break already - has pink hair because nintendo cant convince me otherwise and also has black roots because that’s his hair colour in the gameboy games - still misses everyone from the wind fish’s dream :( also idk know if he ever came back from the ocean tbh - honestly i know jack shit about any of his games so,,, sorry my boy

Classic (The Legend of Zelda/The Adventure of Link): - the boy who started it all!!! god i love him so - honestly don’t really know much about him either,,, and honestly i dont think there is a lot to know the classic games are pretty plotless - but i like to imagine he’s like every Good Protagonist trope but none of the other links appreciate it a whole lot - “dont worry guys i believe we can do this! :)” cut to the whole group throwing trash at him - also gave him sectoral heterochromia to match the way his eyes look in the first game’s sprites

[hollandroos]

How Could I Not? | Five

Playlist | Wattpad | Prologue | Series masterlist

Summary: You and Tom are only supposed to be friends... friends who sometimes take things a step further and friends who can’t seem to spend longer then a few days apart. But that can all change with a positive pregnancy test. Suddenly you have to work together more then ever to prepare for the new life you created. But is it really that easy?

Words: 3.7k

Warnings: Nothing really :// | Please remember to reblog/comment/send an ask if you enjoyed this!!

Traces of your evening lay scattered on bare skin, small memories taking you back to every movement and ragged breath. from the sweat that dried against your forehead to the fingerprints almost ingrained into your waist. They sat in little splotches, rising with every even breath.

Then Tom – oh boy. Beautiful marks were drawn down Toms back. As if he wasn’t beautiful enough, you had to go and make your mark and Tom would be lying if he said he hated them. Those red and raw blemishes that painted his milky skin the colour of grapes and blue skittles. Blue skittles were sour on the first bite and never necessarily anyone's favourites, but with every one following, they grew sweater. They were surely your favourites.

His brown curls were a little frizzier then usual – the result of your fingertips tugging at the strands desperately for some kind of support. Brown was a difficult colour because it was the colour of pecans and caramel, two things good – two things to be desired. Much like chocolate, rich in flavour or the earthy wood that lit the fire in your home. But it’s also the colour of worms after going for a swim in the dirt and spiders.

Now, he lets out a sigh at the feeling of your fingers ghosting over his back. Every touch is gentler then the last and he’d lost count of the hours it’d been since he’d found himself in that very spot. The small amount of moonlight creeping in through the slit in the curtains illuminates the bedroom, telling him that it’d possibly been around three hours. It was never enough to show off the entirety of either of your features, but enough to create a midnight like haze across the duvet and down the sides of the cotton pillows.

“How do you feel?” He speaks, voice raspy and dry and with what little energy he can muster, Tom rolls onto his side, holding himself up slightly with his elbow.

“I feel fine, don’t worry.” You hum, warm breath tickling the glistening skin on his bare chest. “That was really fun.”

Tom allows himself to smile coyly for a second before your touch is replaced with his. “Not about that, about earlier.”

You sit up slightly, feeling the sheets fall around your waist. “I don’t want to talk about it, Tommy, please.”

“You’re going to have to talk about it eventually, I know you’re hurting over what happened.” His fingers run down your arm, leaving goosebumps in their wake but that doesn’t phase you – what does is the small talk. Because small talk surely wasn’t common between the two of you. Every conversation happened to be bustling with jokes and filled with laughs or at least longer then seven words long. Most of the time you couldn’t get the other to shut up.

It’s just small talk– embarrassingly empty words shared between the sheets.

“Eventually isn’t tonight, got it?” You prod at his shoulder with the point of your finger, suddenly feeling the urge to bury yourself in the sheets where your problems and stresses couldn’t touch you. “We just had sex, ‘m not going to spill my guts to you after sex of all things. Let me at least regian myself first.”

The space between you and him feels ghostly as warmth escapes the deepest crevices of his sheets. But there’s no trace of awkwardness or an obscene longing as Tom grabs the duvet and lifts it up and around your shoulders. It was to hopefully ease the goosebumps that rose on your skin.

Your eyes are no longer rimmed red and for that you’re thankful.

“Regain yourself?” He questions snarkily. “Am I really that goo–”

“No!” You snap, turning your head fast enough for loose strands of hair to fall over your shoulders. “God, you’re such a goof.”

“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with that.” He remarks, feeling himself – and you for that matter, ease out of that post sex haze. You were slowly becoming your snarky, sarcastic selves again. “So, when are we getting you moved in?”

“As soon as possible, hopefully before the cravings really settle in and my feet start to ache.”

“So you can send me out to get you whatever you’re craving at all hours of the day? Nice.” Tom remarks, snorting at the last bit. However, he was beyond willing to rush out of bed at four am to get you peanut butter and hot chips. “I’m not letting you lift any boxes, by the way.”

“Tom, I’m hardly two months pregnant.”

“You’re nine weeks, by the time we move you could be twelve at the most. I’m going to do the lifting.”

You groan but kick your legs over the side of the bed anyway, stretching your limbs out after hours of lazing around and your body makes a few satisfying cracking sounds. And then you feel it in your bladder– the undeniable urge to pee… again. As if you hadn’t already been up three times in the last couple hours.

“I need to pee.” You complain, throwing a shirt over your head. It wasn’t your own, it was him and you’re immediately enveloped in his scent. Some kind of cologne he’d been dousing himself in for the last few years now overtakes your senses. It makes you screw your face up this time and you remember to ask him to change his cologne.

“That’s a symptom of pregnancy.” He tells you, sounding rather blunt.

You roll your eyes, stepping over piles of discarded clothing to reach your door. “It’s a symptom of being human – how do you know about pregnancy symptoms?”

He shrugs his shoulders, opening the instagram app on his phone. “Googled it.”

A part of you is surprised that he’d taken the time to google it, but the other part knows that Tom was always more prepared then you. He wanted to be prepared for what was to come. To be aware and alert. You imagine him staring down at his phone, ingesting information that not even you had had the courage to search just yet.

“Whatever, dork.”

-

And true to his word, Tom hardy let you lift a box– well, him and Harrison. Harrison who had let it slip that he was aware of the thing blossoming to life in your womb thanks to Tom who for the life of him couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

You had sent Tom a harsh glare and he had thoroughly thanked whoever was above that you weren’t further along in your pregnancy and the mood swings had yet to settle. You were, however, glad that at least someone supported the two of you.

There was a bump beneath your hoodie at this point, one that could easily be mistaken for the aftermath of a heavy desert and initially you’d frowned at the sight. You knew because you’d spent a long time observing it in the mirror this morning, poking it even as if it’d poke back – more like kick. And at twelve, nearly thirteen weeks that little bump had long become a place that Tom would rest his hand at the most – and least intimate of moments.

But this morning bright and early, right before you were meant to take your first lot of things to Toms you had nearly cried to Laura over the phone about how your pants don't fit the way they used too and unbeknown about your pregnancy, she told you not to worry– that they’d fit again soon enough.

You gave them ten months and pulled out a pair of leggings with a scowl.

Google stated that at 12 weeks pregnant, your baby would be as big as a plum. Around 2.1 inches long and a small .49 ounces. Almost excitedly, you’d sent Tom a picture of a plum with the message ‘12 weeks’ under it. He had replied with a ‘wow!’ and a text telling you to hurry up and get to his – soon enough, yours.

“I’m not completely incompetent you know, I can do something.” You had complained during the process, watching Tom place a set of boxes on the empty floor that once belonged to Harrison. You had long turned your nose up and blocked out the smell of boy the overtook the room. Something you thought that by now, you’d be used too after hanging around Tom so much. “If there wasn’t even a bump you wouldn’t know I was pregnant, let me do something.”

Tom seems to ignore the last line and turns to you with one brow raised. Only then he drops the box. “You have a bump now?”

“I do – Tom, be careful, don’t break anything.” You grimace, eyes falling to the box that now lay on the floor.

“Sorry, sorry. I just – Wow, you have a bump.” He winces, hearing the box rattle as he picks it up. Something was definitely broken.

Let me do the lifting, he said, I don’t want you to hurt yourself he further exclaimed.

“That happens when you’re pregnant, ‘ya know? I thought you did all the research.” The corners of your lips curl up and Tom doesn’t move so you huff, stepping towards the boy until you’re only separated by the oversized box that was pressed against his chest. "There's a baby growing in side of me, surely it was bound to happen."

“I just didn’t think…”

You rest two hands on the box and take it from him, settling it down gently incase there was anything worth saving. You hoped that there was between broken pieces – probably those of photo frames and a pot plant.

“Tom, c’mere.” You instruct. He does so, taking a step forward and you take one his hands, resting it over your small bump. It sits on top of your t shirt, teasing the cotton. “Can you feel?”

Tom had left many, fiery touches on your skin before. He’d ghosted fingers over the skin below your breasts all the way down to where your underwear begun and woken up with a hand on your waist – but this time he notices the change. It’s only just there but he notices it and bites back a smile, piercing the inside of his mouth with his teeth.

“There is a bump, wow. That feels…”

“Weird, I know.” You suck in a deep breathe, the mess that currently suffocated the living room going right over your head. It was like you were both in your own little bubble and you allow yourself to reminse over the last few months – even the last year, infact, and how your world had changed because of the plum sized being growing inside your womb. “Do you remember why this all started? Not our friendship but… the agreement?”

“How could I not?” Tom thinks for a moment, shaking his head at the memory. It was one he doubted he’d soon forget. “It was when–”

You interrupt him, feeling the bitter words sitting on the point of your tongue. “When Amy screwed you over.”

“She screwed both of us over.” Tom agrees. You can’t argue with him on that one. “Funny that, we always end up in bed with one another when something goes wrong. Right from the start.”

You stifle a laugh, thinking back to that moment a few weeks ago where you’d ended up slick and between sheets. “Maybe sex isn’t the way we should be dealing with our problems.” You think, screwing your nose up.

“Maybe not,” He decides. “But it works.”

You hesitate before asking the next question, knowing it could end one of two ways and allow it to simmer in your mind for a second. But the words pass your lips before you swear you’re ready to hear the answer.

“Do you regret this?”

Tom doesn’t look up but is sure of his answer, even if it wasn’t what you wanted to hear.

“It should’ve have happened under the circumstances it did but… no, I don’t regret it.” He looks down. “I don’t regret… this.”

-

Flashback ahead - how the friends with benefits agreement came to be.

Tom furiously tapped on the door of your ragged apartment– scratch that, he didn’t knock. He went straight for the spare key under the pot plant right outside and pushed the door open with a thud. If he hadn’t of text you to say that he was coming over then you would’ve been terrified. Still, you jumped at the slamming of the door.

Internally you’d been thankful because reruns of modern family had long become boring and all your cat did was sleep. Even if Tom was raging, red faced and closed fisted he was better company then the pet and your television set right now. That seemed to be all your apartment contained. Well, that and the thing you called a bed.

“You’re not going to believe this.” He huffs. “She actually tried to make me get rid of you.”

You don’t even get a ‘hey’ in because he’s just that mad. Veins, icy blue and purple and hidden beneath fiery skin.

“She what?” You question, mind foggy after hours of nothingness.

Tom slams his phone and keys down on the kitchen table, watching you swing your legs over the side of the couch. “Said I spend too much time with you. She deleted your fucking number from my phone, unfollowed you on instagram–”

“Unfollowed me on instagram? On your account? That’s so petty.” You scoff, your berry flavoured ice cream long was forgotten. “Why’s she so jealous? I set the two of you up in the first place.”

It was true, you snuck Amy a card with Toms hours on it and told her to give him a visit at the bar. Claiming that after spending so long alone he deserved someone that made his days easier and she seemed to be the key – keyword seemed to be. Amy was bright and bubbly, with a knack for saying the right thing at the right time and you just knew Tom would be charmed by her smile – and he was. From the pink that lined her lips and the rim of the glass that night to her stories about her travels.

“When I told her that nothing was happening she told me that if nothing was happening then I would just cut you out of my life – then she claimed that I was cheating on her with you when I said I wouldn’t do that.” He huffs. "She went ballistic... I didn't even know that was possible."

You choke, because that was far from the truth. If anything the two of you hadn’t gone further with one another then a few drunk kisses but that was before he got with Amy. Before you sent her to the bar to win him over which she did in an instant. Tom was nothing less then loyal.

“What a bitch!” You exclaim, scoffing at the statement.

“I’m just… I’m angry! I’m angry at her because I thought she was different then that and I’m angry at myself for nearly going through with it.”

“Woah woah woah, wait up.” You stand up, the blanket falling from around your waist and it pools at your feet in a woollen pile. And there it would stay. “You nearly went through with it? You’re such an idiot.” You roll your eyes and then your mother's voice is drowning out any other noise – telling you that one day your eyes would get stuck in the back of your head.

“For a split second.” He tries telling you. Your mouth falls open and Tom grimaces. “She was convincing but I swear it was only for a second! I was never going to get rid of you, please.”

“For fuck sake, Thomas.” Taking a step, you forget about the blanket and trip up, stumbling on the cotton and you’re own two feet but he’s there – and you fall into Tom, gripping each of his arms to steady yourself but that doesn’t wipe the heavy glare off of your features, if anything it merely makes your cheeks heat up. “So you left her and came to me?”

“Well… yeah? Where else was I meant to go?” He raises a brow, not mentioning the fact that your hands remain around his biceps. The ring on your right hand, hugging your finger is hard against his cotton.

“Home.” You reply. A snarl takes place on your face, one that makes Tom shrink back before he regains himself.

He smiles a coy smile, curls – the longest you’d seen on him hanging over his forehead. “But you’re my home.”

For a moment your heart sings a chorus of tunes, but then you snort. It was sometimes hard to tell when Tom was being genuine considering the boy had a sense of humour that could outlive yours. You often chucked cliche lines back and forth, quoting films such as Titanic and La La land but this time you couldn’t decide if he’d pulled that straight from a film or if the words had come from him.

“That is the cheesiest thing you’ve ever said to me in the entirety of our friendship.” You snort.

Toms' cheeks are painted a light shade of pink and he finds himself struggling to come up with his next set of words.

“Are you sure? I’m pretty sure the other week I said something about how you can make my day go from a three to a nine and a half.”

“C’mere,” You chuckle, throwing your arms around his shoulders. Tom is welcoming and you breathe in the scent of his cologne on his collar. It was the same one he wore the day you met. He leans into you more, head in the crock of your neck. “Seriously though, are you feeling okay after what happened? I know you really liked her.”

Tom purses his lips, speaking softly against you. “I’m okay, things had been falling apart for a bit anyway.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?” You murmur into his shoulder, pulling away only slightly to look him in the eyes. Tom gazes down with loving, brown eyes you’d come to memorise. Speaks of green dot the outside, a gentle emerald.

He lets out a breath, mind reeling. “What do you want to do?”

A small laugh etches past your lips. “You’re the one that just ended a relationship, you tell me.” You push your lips into a smile and ignore the pounding of your heart. You hope Tom can’t feel it. That’d result in endless teasing, you asume, but little did you know Tom's was beating profusely too.

Maybe it wouldn’t have happened if the fire wasn’t crackling and popping in the corner, warming your left sides or if you hadn’t downed a cup and a half of wine that evening making you a little more confident that what you usually were. Tom however, hadn't had a drop of alcohol.

“I kind of want to kiss you?” He says as more of a suggestion then anything.

And Tom had always been pretty good at speaking his mind but holy shit now he’d gone too far and holy shit he really shouldn’t have said that and holy shit! You’re staring at him like you want to hit him… or kiss him? He can’t decide.

Every part of you heats up, like flares igniting from your chest to your cheeks. “Are you supposed to say that?”

“I don’t want to kiss you if you don’t want to kiss me because… that’d be unfair.” Tom says, swallowing back his embarrassment. He was growing warmer then the flames that licked the inside of the fireplace.

"I'm not going to stop you if you wanted to try it." You merely suggest, curiosity peaking. And that's enough because Tom can hear the genuine in your voice, leaking from your words and he closes what little distance was wedged between the two of you.

It only goes on for a few seconds before the kiss grows furious and full of points to be proven. His lips don’t taste like bitter alcohol like last time - and instead taste of the remains of the mint he’d chewed on the way over. It’s a soothing scent, one that has you leaning into him for more before the realisation settles in.

“Tom- wait,” You stop, hands moving from around his neck and instead press against his chest, allowing just a little bit of distance between the two of you. “What about your girlfriend?” You question. You pant lowely, attempting to get your breathing straight but it’s harder then you expected when the tips of his fingers are leaving little marks on your waist. Leaving gentle reminders for tomorrow.

“I broke up with her before I left, it’s for good this time.” Tom says it with a sigh of relief. You allow the remorse to simmer away. This was about you and him and releasing the pent up frustration. “I don’t want to lose you – I can’t. I meant what I said you know, you’re my home.”

The silence of your living room engulfs every word, swallowing them whole never to be spoken of again. Every word seems to be another promise between best friends. Best friends long restricted. Up until now and up until now, you hadn’t realised that you were hungry – hungry for him.

There was a fire in the pit of your stomach blazing, craving more and Tom would be lying if he said he didn’t feel the same.

“You won’t.” You tell him, fingers crawling up his chest until they reach the collar of his shirt. You tug at it, feeling the material collect in your hands. “You won’t lose me.”

Maybe this should be wrong because it’s your best friend and this was something that best friends didn’t necessarily do – but with Tom you couldn’t help but feel like it was so right. And to a degree, Amy had been right about the two of you but you told yourself there was no feelings besides friendship involved.

But from there on out you were no longer just friends.

And maybe Tom had hoped that you’d fully received his confession. That you understood that he couldn’t lose you because his feelings had surprised what he would say was normal for friends but it was late and maybe the words just went in one ear and out the other.

Part 6

HCIN: @grayxswan @whatdaflerken @thataudreydork @h-natale @learning-howto-be-myselfx3 @u-are-my-moonlight  @vendylewin @claredolphinbear24@slingingwingingspidey @voidklaroline @satellitespidey @tomhollandswh0re@bringmethehorizonandpizza @darlingimmafangirl @smalltownbigissues@hbmoore1986 @yeastystrumpet @timelock97 @spider-mendes@parkerstylesperalta @parkerspideyman @honeymoonparker @wirth-jackshit@honeymoonparker @sargentjamesbarnes @dumblani @its-lily-i-guess @queengemsworld @euphoricholland @mindfulwishing133 @taybugstuff @spideymood @xxxxdelenaxxxx @gioandreolli @danicarosaline @badhollandfluff @crazykenz-ie @morganthelittle @littlebluewoods @indecisivearia @theamuz @vintage-moonlight @itsrecklesscalum @annathesillyfriend @peter-prkr @scftholland @avengersassemblee @peter-prkr @its-lily-i-guess @scftholland @sadsadiesworld @sarah-moss2015 @@spideymybucky @sxbrxnx818 @tomsmelanin @hannahholland1811 @anxiousdesignerdancerbandlover @siriuslycollins @mutuallynotmutual @catstielanddeanthedog @kayla-m1996 @avenirectioner @toms-irish-girl @dullmiele @lokilove3112 @peterparkyourassonme @barneackles @hufflepuff-always-and-forever @rravenss @watsonundercover @tominhoodies @panemedited @ravynnn-12 @jake-peralta-b99 @thewackywriter @nickigv @clairesrainbow @strangerliaa @youcompletemesk @mjxmb @xcyber-queenx

Everything tags: @cosmetologynerd @holland-ish @smexylemony @dej-okay@hollandsletters @ive-got-some-lies-to-tell @liz-gayllen@marvelismylifffe@lovelyh0lland @tomhollandandmarvelsworld @woah-jess@southsidefandoms@justannothermonday @its-claire-louise@sophiatomlinson23 @mockingjaygirl1221@joyfullyjenny@damnhisfaceisliketheskyatnight  @bride-of-loki-odinson @in-the-corner-coffee-please@futuremrsb-r-main @spideyyypeter @saturn-aka-six@c0prolalia @buckykinz@ashtonsbandannas @dennasaur @amyyleblanc1999@fnosidam@randomfangirl1701@maybeandperhaps @acciorinn @marvel-language @micki-smiles@justmesadgirl @converseskyline @niall2017@gavemylifetotomholland @tomuchmarvel@leslieandjensen @painted-soulss@practicallylivesonline @mischiefmanaged49 @its-the-unknownspidey@holyrose96 @for-my-mind @mlxbm @erindillon11 @captainbuckyy @shawnandhisroses @converseskyline @smitten0-0kitten @parkeroos @whileinparis @unicornio-vomita-mierdas @draqcnheartstrinq @rainyboo-posts @mikalaka @petxrpxrker @tony-starks-ego @thedaydreamingwriter @peter-quackson @kateelyse96 @lesbian-jesus-jr @wheresmyquill@elyshugh@hollanderheart @tomshufflepuff @marvelismylifffe @tomsh0lland @obsessed-fandoms @girl-in-the-chair @trashqueenbitch @dramatic-and-young @honey-honey-5644@parkerluvs @chingonaconcha @captainbuckyy @jes-sica1@tomsfireheart @Rainbow-marvel @spideysimpossiblegirl @spideys-gurl@thomasstanley-holland @mlxbm @ixchel-9275@parkerssweb @peter-parkersbb @tom-hollands-eyelash @starlightfound @vldlvj  @paradoxparker @lustfulcry  @mlxbm @musiclover1263 @justatheatredork@peterparkerscamera@fandomnerdsarecool @thequeensardine @cutesy-angst@httplayer @mischiefmanaged49 @loca-lola @softboyparkerr @desir-ae @dangerousluv1 @t-hotland @laucontrerasv @peter-parkersbb@whatdafricklefrackle @thatblondebelgiangirl @fairydustparker @they-call-me-le @jamiemac26@nephalem67 @underoos-tom @quaxon-holland@lovelyspidey @no-shxt-sherl @xlatinaaxx@starlightfound @mikexpeter @moonandstars-xo @httpmcrvel @evelyn120700@fromheroestodust@hollandfieldblurbs @ghostlypandacolorpersona@spazclaiire @curlyhairedparker @josierosie@unicornio-vomita-mierdas @icondy@euphoricholland @desir-ae @lovelyspidey @thelazypangolin@ameeravioli@ramen-tically @mellifluous-tom @mrs-webslinger @krazykiara @scottyisthatyou@@s0cial-retard @sithskywalkers @avenirectioner @cokemania147@awkwardfangirl2014 @thot–holland @tomsmelanin @tryn25 @marvelismylifffe @fratboievans @draqcnheartstrinq @mellifluous-tom @obsidiandolans @peter-parkersbb @slingingwingingspidey @darlingxholland @50shadesoflaurmani @tomhollandswh0re  @ixchel-9275 @hellaparker @vintagexquill @spidey-caps @parkerspideyman

[peachydyoung]

money talks | k.dy (m)

— genre ➙  sugardaddy!au + smut + angst — words ➙ 8k i love writing doyoung please kill me — member ➙ kim dongyoung — warnings ➙ graphic smut, dirty talk, rough sex, softdom!doyoung + sub!reader, oral sex, fingering + strong language + inappropriate scenario // 2 smuts in one

The owner of a multi-billion dollar company plans to invest in your career for a small price. He gives you one rule... Don’t get attached.

↳ 01 completed

— ⚠️ DISCLAIMER⚠️ ➙  This contains a very problematic scenario. I personally do not advocate for this, and please know that this is writing, a story with an intriguing topic to read about, not to act upon. Each fic will have their own set of warnings, look at them and evaluate if they are for you. My intention is not to offend, or trigger anybody, I am here to entertain you and exercise my passion as a writer. a/n here’s a nice long doyoung smut, 2 sex scenes cause there is never enough and doyoung my bias. 

“I haven’t seen you before,” A dark-haired, broad-shouldered man smiled, raising his wine glass in front of him. His penetrating eyes and gummy smile made you unconsciously lift yours. Although it was your first time at this party, you wondered why you hadn’t seen him earlier. He was senselessly gorgeous.

You were insecure under his stare, he stood there in front of you with his fancy suit and handsome face. The only dresses you could afford were the ones from forever 21. And even then it was still a little much. Nonetheless, you could always manage to make five dollars look like hundred.

“Uh, yeah, I’m a plus one,” you said apprehensively, but the man seemed to catch on to it. Taeyong had brought you along and asked that you mingle to make more connections. He noticed that you were becoming more and more insecure about your photography with every new job that turned you down.

“Mmm,” He hummed, taking a sip of his wine and letting his eyes rake over your body. “So you’re here with a man? Women? By yourself?” He was easy on the eyes, especially wearing an expensive black suit and being in his mid or late twenties.

“My friend… you might know him, his name is Taeyong. He’s pretty popular amongst the mainstream dancing thing. He has a lot of friends.” His eyes widened comically, a big smile playing on his youthful skin as he let out a laugh. You didn’t wanna be here at all, but you knew coming here meant photography connections and you needed that before college ended.

“Me and Taeyong? We go way back,” He said grinning as if he was reliving a past memory. “Can I?” he gestured to the open chair next to you, his smile making you say yes to anything he could have asked.

“Yeah of course!” You adjusted your body to look more presentable. With a nod, he sat on the stool next to you, placing his glass on the counter of the fancy bar and drumming his fingers on the granite counter.

“So…has no other man come to talk to you yet?” Your cheeks were blanketed in a red sheer glow as he asked the question. To answer his question, no, nobody had come to talk to you. You either scared them away or were a ghost to the rich and snobby crowd.  “I apologize if it makes you uncomfortable it’s just a question a man has when they see a beautiful woman sitting alone—I’m Doyoung by the way, Kim Dongyoung.” He had manners too, something you liked in a guy. And this one wasn’t a frat boy, he was a real man with a job.

“I’m Y/N, and no, nobody has.” The beginnings of a smirk were present on his small lips. His answer didn’t shock him,  he knew that you would be his by the end of the night. “And if you’re wondering, I don’t have a boyfriend either,” You added on playfully, earning a chuckle.  He sipped his drink, mischievous twinkling in his eyes.

“Well, I don’t have a girlfriend either.” A smile illuminated his face, he looked down, something about it was bittersweet. “So what do you do?” He asked. “What do you do to make a life for yourself.”

“Photographer, I’m a photographer.” He nodded. “I uh, I’m going to college right now majoring in photography, which is going very well. I want to break into high fashion photography for models, especially nude shoots, those are always fun.” He laughed, it was deep, low, and genuine. “It’ll never happen though, should've become a dentist like my mom suggested.” You paused momentarily, holding eye contact with the man. His eyes were dark, narrow, and discerning.  “Fine art photography is my backup, but it’s even harder to make a name for yourself. Photography is hard to break into now, you know.” You laughed awkwardly. “Part-time jobs are my income and will continue to be that way.”

“Consider yourself lucky. At Least you’re doing something you love. Do you know how many people have money and office jobs and hate it… a lot, I’ll tell you that much.” You guessed he was right, he looked rich enough to make the assumption. “ If photography truly makes you happy, pursuing it is the only way to go. We live most of our lives in work anyways,, don’t play dentist because your mom said so. Novelty wears off.”

“And are you happy?” You tilted your head, earning a silent laugh from him.

“Do you know who I am?” He inquired, looking more and more smug by the minute. “Never heard of KDY Enterprises? Or Entertainment?.” You were ashamed of not knowing, nodding your head no shyly. He didn’t seem to mind, he actually looked a little… happy?

“So you have money? And an office job?” He was hesitant to answer you but decided to say it anyway.

“Yeah, yeah I do.”

“So, tell me first hand, do you hate your job, does the novelty of money wear off?” He cocked his head to the side, his tongue poking from his cheek as he swallowed your playful retort.

“You know what people don’t know?” He asked, setting down his drink and narrowing his eyes at you. “I might have a busy job, but money never gets old. Despite what people think, I can buy happiness.”

“Sure you can. You can buy food, mattresses, houses, plane tickets, all of which that would make one happy, me included. But what’s the point of buying a house when it’s empty? You can have a bag of groceries, but you won’t finish all the food. Mattresses get cold when one side is slept on more than the other.”

A shaky sigh left his lips, you guessed that nobody had really talked to him like this, after all, he was the CEO of his own company. “My penthouse is pretty empty,” He shrugged, ogling you. “My bed’s cold as well.” A sly smirk found its way to his face. “I like sharing. With my friends… family...charity.” You chuckled at him, sipping wine from your own glass.

“I know people in the fashion business, I know models, I know photographers.” You knew a business opportunity when you saw one, you cocked your eyebrow and looked at him through hooded eyes.

“I don’t follow.” You looked everywhere but him, at the ceiling, at the ground, just left of his head. You even spotted Taeyong talking to some girl. But you were too nervous to look at him, too nervous to hear what he would propose.

“Because I’m lonely and rich as you so kindly pointed out,” He retorted. “Why don’t I help you with your photography dream. And If you’re so willing we can even share a  bed.” You started at him, watching as he got up from his chair and stepping in front of you.

“And how did you intend on doing that?”

“Sweetheart, come with me and let me show you.”

With his arm outstretched and his hand offered. You took it, not knowing you made a deal with the devil.

A year later

Your eyes hurt and were dry from keeping them open. Your photoshop was broken, and you couldn't email the photos without your computer shutting down. No matter how hard you tried none of your photographs were looking the way you’d imagine them to turn out like. Fine art photography wasn’t supposed to be forced, but you’ve been in a rut for at least a month.

It wasn’t always like this. Your creativity would be bursting at the seams when he was there. Everything seemed to be going right when Doyoung showed up. When he was gone it was like you were living your days in an endless loop of loneliness and fame. The world went on without you, life passed you. It was when you were with Doyoung that you could catch up to it again. Without him, you were stuck, life stopped.

Doyoung offered you an easy out of your part time jobs with mediocre pay and wage times. He introduced you to a world of magic and wealth. Although you were skeptical at first, you had no choice but to agree, there was no way you could get through college and then get a decent job. College at that point was getting pretty shitty with all its stressful exams, and you needed a way out. And there was your opportunity.

Of course, there were rules you were to follow religiously. If you were to break any of them you don't know what Doyoung would do to you, he could be super creative at times. Regardless, you followed them because you were grateful for all he did for you, not just because he told you too.

You weren’t stupid, you knew that he had other girls spread across the world waiting to be fucked just like you were. They were probably held up in a penthouse just like you. But you didn’t ask questions, you didn’t care. You broke rule number, don’t get too attached. And that was the first mistake you made with your dangerous life with Doyoung.

You shut your laptop and groaned, pulling the instant noodles you made earlier towards you. You took a spoonful of the now cold and mushy noodles. You had been able to pay back Doyoung the million dollars he gave you to start your photography career and made nearly 20 times more. Yet you still stayed and ate less than mediocre food. Bad habits never change.

“This is fucking disgusting,” you muttered to yourself, snatching the cup of noodles up in your hand and sauntering over to the kitchen.

The house was pretty minimalistic. It was mostly all white with black furniture, cool toned things and such. It was all open concept, the kitchen, living room, and dining room. Every countertop was white quartz, every cabinet war of the highest quality wood, you lived lavishly.

You opened the trash can and threw the mushy noodles in. Doyoung had promised to bring you dinner that night, and as the clock struck closer and closer to twelve you knew it was a lost cause. And instead of calling, you turned into a muttering mess. “Doyoung, when you come back I’m gonna fucking kill you for making me wait—”

“Now baby,” a familiar voice cut through the air behind you. “You’re not actually planning on doing something  stupid, right?”

The familiar sight of his white button-down shirt came into vision. It was a nice sense of normalcy when you saw him sweaty after work,  his white shirt clinging to his skin. It made you feel like one of those conventional couples, the ones where the wife greets the husband when he gets back from work.

He dropped his briefcase on the ground and lean up on the counter across from you.

“Fuck you.” He pretended to look shocked from what you had said, but to be frank, this whole month you had been giving him attitude and you yourself didn’t even know why. This doesn't surprise him.

“Cute,” he remarked. “It wouldn't be the first time I have.” You had become so comfortable with him in the year you knew him. But as you grew comfortable,  his slide remarks didn’t turn you on like they used to, his broken promises actually hurt, the relationship actually meant something to you. And you didn’t know if any of those things mattered to him ” I wonder  when  you’ll  learn to behave and not disobey me.” He ran his finger through his black hair and smirked. “I’m in need of a destresser.”

“You have other whores for tha—”

“Aren’t you brave tonight?” He raised his voice at you. “Like I said.” He pronounced each word clearly and loud. “I’m stressed and I missed you. I’ll dismiss the fact that you just said that to me as well.” He looked around the kitchen, finally locking eyes with you. “You should be happy I’m here, I’m a busy man you know.”

“Oh my god, thank you Doyoung for gracing me with your presence that wasn’t even spontaneous, it was promised!  Better yet! Thank you for being five hours late!” You never really got mad at him, even now the anger wasn’t at its breaking point, but this month things started to change.

“I don’t understand why you have to be so rude. You’ve been doing it a lot lately.”

You narrowed your eyes at your employer, finally a real anger brewing inside of you for all that he put you through. He sensed that, and despite his usual half-assed sorries, he pulled one out of his ass and made it sound even a little real. “I’m sorry Y/N. What can I do to make it up to you? Money? Jewelry? You name it. ” You were fully prepared to make an escape to your room and not see him for a couple of more months. You walked away.

“Y/N, don’t leave—” But you were already walking, walking, and walking away. “Y/N stop walking…  stop now.”

If it hadn’t been for how scary his voice was when he yelled, you might’ve not stopped, but maybe a part of you still would’ve.

“Get the fuck over here, right fucking now.” His voice was deep when he shouted, it was scary. In that moment you knew you were gonna fuck him, from the moment you saw him you knew.

“Why don’t you get the fuck over here, since you miss me so bad.” You turned around and looked at him. He was still leaning on the counter, staring at you. He reluctantly got up with a huff and paraded over meeting you at the dining table. His hand cupped your cheek while his other brushed some stray hair away from your face, pulling your face up. 

“Who do you think you are?” He said just above a whisper. “I don’t like fucking attitude,” he spat at you. “You should remember how you acted when you first got her, cause you weren’t like this.”

This was the fourth time he’d visited that week. Each time he came he was more stressed than the last, and you were becoming more reluctant as the days went on. It was one of the longest times he came. 

You wondered wh yourself was giving him attitude, he was generally a nice person with good intentions and you could tell that this was hurting him. But he was hurting you, he was always hurting you. Maybe the attitude would compensate for the fact that you actually had feelings for the man and pushing him away would help in the long run. “Bedroom, princess.”

He was right behind you quickly heading into the master bedroom like he was your parent tucking you to bed at night. You hated when he did that. He pushed you down on the bed roughly, letting you get enough time in to look up at him. He ripped the buttons of his button shirt open so hard you heard the little sounds of beads falling on the ground. He pulled down his pants so quickly you thought you heard a tear.

Faster than a heartbeat, his lips were pushed against yours feverishly. Doyoung always kissed rough and quick, always being careful of not kissing you too long so you never got the wrong idea. He was pulling on the hem of your shirt, leaving a trail of warm kisses down your neck as he struggled to pull it off your body.

Doyoung was everything you needed in bed. He was confident, caring, rough, and surprisingly exciting. Once he had pulled you top off, he was pulling down your jeans, throwing them somewhere behind him and chuckling. He ground his hips against yours. Enough to get you wet and leave your juices on soaking your panties.

Despite what people thought Doyoung's lips were soft and warm, not cold at all like the media portrayed. He was warm and inviting. So as he kissed you, you let your hands knot in the roots of his hair and pull.

He sighed pushing his tongue deep inside your mouth, a moaning. Your hips rocked against his, creating more and more friction for the both of you. His hands slipped to your waist, pulling the panties down on the right side. It was the fourth time this week his body was on top of yours, and you loved it.

“Doyoung—”

“Sweetheart you lost the right to talk,” He hummed, pulling your panties down and teasing your slit. He looked down at your pink pussy and intricately pleasured you, making you gasp. He was always in charge—always. He was the one that would leave you thoroughly fucked or in a crumpled up mess waiting to be. That was the way it was, and you liked the high stakes. A suppressed moan fell from your lips and was caught in his when he pushed the pad of his thumb on your clit.

“You can moan baby, I won’t stop you from doing that, ” He snickered, feeling your wetness gather up around your clit and entrance.

“You’re already dripping.” He smiled against your mouth than peppering kisses down your neck in sloppy unorganized kisses.

Without warning, he pushed a finger inside you, and you tried hard to suppress the scream that crawled at the back of your throat. Normally Doyoung liked to rile you up, he thrust his long fingers in and out of your pussy, in a search for your sweet spot. When he curled his fingers, he found it, rubbing it gently to push you over.

“Doyoung.“ He pushed his lips onto yours again roughly, surely leaving a bruise from how hard. All you heard were your muffled screams as his fingers were buried deep inside your pussy. You arch your back into him, letting your tits cover his bare chest.

“Baby I’m want to fuck you so bad now.”

Doyoung wasn’t the longest, but he fit you, he fit you better than a lot of men could and he knew how to fuck. You could see the outline of his member through his white tenting boxer shorts. He was painfully hard, he palmed himself through his boxers and groaned.

“Let me,” You sat up,  reaching out towards his boxers pulling them down steadily. He let you, watching the excitement in your eyes as his cock sprung free from his boxers. But he pushed your hands away.

“Let me be inside of you right now.” Doyoung was so incredibly gentle with you, no matter how many times you saw him in bare skin it excited you. Even when he was rough, he always found a way to make you feel okay, and you hated that he shared that with other girls.

“But I—”

“Please baby, please.” He spread your legs slowly across the bed, peeling each leg from the other to accommodate for his lanky body. This wasn’t how he usually liked to fuck you, he was normally rough, very rough. Him skipping a blow job, using a gentle touch, not calling you names was weird for you. Nonetheless, you didn’t object to it. No matter how you felt, one thing remained certain. You wanted him.

On his knees, he stroked himself, spitting on his hand and beginning to pump his shaft slowly with one hand. He lined himself up, slowly beginning to lay down on top of you. Within seconds he entered you in one hard thrust that made you moan out in pleasure. You never got over how well he fit inside you. Your friends would always talk about how their boyfriend had the biggest cock, but you doubted the notion that they pleasured them well or even at all. With Doyoung, every flaw you both had, everything about you two fit together, he knew what you wanted and made sure to give it to you. And you were sad to say that you felt at home with the whore hoarding CEO.  

“God, you always feel so good,” He hissed, his face falling into your neck and a loud muffled groan drop from his lips. He moved slowly at first, pulling out of you with little force before burying himself in your walls once more.

You moaned, head thrown back on the silk sheets and your hands knotted in his hair. “Doyoung,” You croaked. “Why aren’t you going faster?” you could barely talk, your voice came unsteadily. Gripping your hips tightly with his slender hands.

“I wanna take my time tonight.” He wanted his time for you. Regardless of how many girls he had, he wanted to savor this. He made sure to thrust deep, hard, but slow. Working to find your sweet spot than to blindly fuck you. You could feel his tip hitting your cervix in painful pleasure.

“Doyoung!” You squealed, as he thrust harder, followed by a high moan.

“Keep moaning like that.” He grunted, eyes falling to your face.

So you did as he asked, performing for him, you cried even louder. A chain of panicked moans left his mouth as you involuntarily clenched around his cock, he was hitting all the right spots inside you, but he needed to do more to compensate for the slow speed.

“Can I touch you?” You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to find the words to tell him to do it, to make you writhe at his will. But instead, you nodded, seeing his hand travel down in between you, and rubbing small circles over the swollen bundle of nerves. “Like this?”

“Y-yes.” You choked out. Doyoung was so calm, yet filled with so much pleasure. You didn’t know there could be this side of him. Through your gasps and unprompted shudders, he had to lean only a centimeter to capture your lips in his.

His slow thrusts continued, alongside his fingers, still rubbing your clit as he tried to kiss you. Wrapping your arms around his neck, letting them dance across his back, he drove his tongue into your mouth widely. All at once a collective wave of emotions swarmed you, an urgency filled the room as you climbed closer and closer to your climax.

“I’m going--to come…” You groaned. Your fingers pulling the roots of his hair.

“Y/N.” Your vision blurred, you pulse around him, breathing shallow and sweat gathering over your body.

“Oh my god…” You whimpered, you had become oversensitive. Your legs began to rattle against his body, a loud string of low moans leaving Doyoung as you felt him realize into you. His head fell into your neck, moaning against your sweet skin.

He held you in his arms, continuing to moan until you both finally released. You both stayed in each other's arms for a moment, catching your breath, breathing ruggedly as Doyoung rolled off of you. Just as quickly as he got into the bed, he slung his legs over the side and got up, pulling on his discarded clothes.

“You’re leaving so soon?” He looked at you, zipping up his pants and shrugging silently. Your heart sank.

“I need to. We have a meeting tomorrow and I need to take a quick flight to Busan, I’ll be back princess, you’ll see me tomorrow, don’t worry.” You wanted to act like a man, your man, your boyfriend, your husband, but you knew you would asking too much. As much as you wanted him to be yours, you knew he never would be, and so your anger showed in your attitude.

“Why bother with Busan, we’re in Seoul.” A small smile played on his face, he seemed happy that you didn’t want him to leave. You wrapped the pale pink silk sheets around your body, and slowly ascended from the bed. You stood in front of him, hoping he wouldn't leave. Still smiling, he leaned forward and kissed your head, a little too lovingly.

“I got you something just before I came. I waited a couple weeks for it. It’ll  atone for leaving so soon.”

You glanced at him curiously, your eyebrow cocking inquisitively. He did it again. He came, fucked you, stayed, and then left. He did it over and over again until the cycle felt never-ending. At first, you didn’t see a problem, but now, now you were in too deep.

He disappears behind your door, you can hear his quick footsteps as he goes to retrieve whatever it was he got for you. You couldn't help but be excited. Doyoung had money, Doyoung helped you with your career, but it wasn’t every day that he got you something without a request. He came back, a black necklace box in hand.

“For you,” he said, handing you the back box and excitedly awaiting your reaction. You opened it, a surge of happiness and shock flowing through you.

“Doyoung. How?” Your eyes widened, an ear to ear grin appeared on your face as you opened the box.  

A month ago you had managed to get a seat at one of the most famous auctions there ever was. All the proceeds went to charity, but you were there for one thing. Taeyong always said you looked best in pearls, but not any pearls, not counterfeit imitated ones. Real, natural white pearls. And he was right, they looked gorgeous on you.

You had a budget of a 1.5 million, now that you could afford to make such a risky purchase, but someone outbid you. You were so upset when you found out you wouldn’t get the pearls that Doyoung had to spend at least a week putting up with your rants, irrational mood swings, and attitude. But now you were staring at the pearls, and it was because of him.

“I knew you wanted them so I had to get them. I want you to wear them tomorrow, you look sophisticated and elegant, and beautiful in pearls.” Doyoung’s voice sounded sensual as it trailed off.

“Thank you so much—Oh my god, I could photograph this! Did you know Pearls promote centeredness, faith, loyalty, truth, and purity. I mean, my fine art project could really—oh my god, thank you so so so much.“ Your mind ran in every which way, thoughts of gratitude and respect raced through your head, while there were ideas of love and photography. You lunged at him, arms wrapped around your waist, playfully pulling at the sheets. “It must of cost so much—”

“Don’t worry about it… but Y/N, I really need to get going. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He pulled away from you.

And without another word he was gone. And there was no proof he ever was actually there.

“I need to turn down that offer, I’ll take new photos for the design, but I won't allow you to use my past works!” You folded your hands together, glancing around the room at the businessmen that observed your photography portfolio. There was one girl there. She looked like she was plucked from a gucci store in some beautiful country, but she had a mental capacity of a fifteen-year-old.

“I mean, using your old ones would ensure they would turn out good, you photos recently have been pretty—”

“Pardon me for asking, but who  are you, I haven’t seen you here before.” You sat at a table with reputable officials of Dyoung's company. You were held in high esteem at his enterprise. You were someone who was able to give Doyoung's company a mainstream vibe, generating buzz with the main media.

“Oh,” She laughed obviously as if you should've known who she was. “I’m new, but I’m Kim Dongyoung assistant, I take care of all the office needs and his needs as well.” You knew what she was. You never met his assistants, but people told you he went through them like cigarettes to an addict.

“This is a professional meeting with esteemed entrepreneurs, executives, and merchandisers. In this world, you build yourself up to power by connections and talent. I commend you for having such a difficult job, and starting a path to invent yourself. But you’re an assistant, know your place. Especially around people at this table. If I say that I don’t want past photos used then you can give me a concept or we can end the meeting and the company doesn't need me. Are we all  clear?” Everyone nodded, taking what you had said into consideration.

You learned very fast that your vocabulary and persona had to change at places like this, sometimes you let yourself slip, as you did now. But you couldn't help it,  she had this aura around her like she was fucking the CEO. Nevertheless, the rest of the people nodded, some smirking at your statement. To say the least, nobody really liked her.

“Ms. Y/L/N, I think since it’s going to be for the new computer he’s making, maybe we could go in the path apple had gone in. Great landscapes, flowers, I know you could absolutely make those amazing.” You smiled at the man, glancing at the girl momentarily and writing notes on your notepad. Where the fuck was Doyoung.

“Yes! I like that, but we could also do hipster things maybe,” the older women smiled. “My daughter, she goes to a lot of festivals and takes fantastic photos, they look so amazing, maybe we can get in touch with the interest of modern media and take pictures of those things.

“What’s your name Miss?” You asked flipping a page in your notepad to write it down.

“Oh!” She grinned happily.

“Ho Hyang-Soon. Spelled H-Y-A-N-G-Soon.” In the blink of an eye the door slowly creaked open, tensely, Doyoung appeared from the door.

“I’m sorry I’m late, I was held up at another meeting, if I had known I would have been late, I would have canceled, my deepest apologies,” He bowed down at everyone. He was good at lying sometimes, this was a lie he was particularly good at executing. You knew he had to be with one of his other girls. Regardless of what he was doing, you never asked you just nodded and did as you were told.

The meeting got pretty boring from that moment forward, they told you what photographs they wanted you to take and then you were basically done, the rest of the duration consisted of Doyoung calling more shots on the design of his computer.

You had never felt more happy to leave a meeting. Sometimes you thought they were fun. It was like coffee hour when Doyong wasn’t around. Other times they were absolutely boring.

You stood over Ms. Ho Hyang-Soon’s desk discussing her ideas towards the desktop art and photograpghy. You could tell she was flattered you had decided to talk to her and acknowledge her idea, it was very hard to do that with Doyoung.

However, the smile soon disappeared from your face when the doors to Doyoung’s office opened and revealed him and his shotty new assistant. Her hand was placed on his shoulder as he talked to one of his office friends, her smile wickedly evil as she glanced at you. You touched the pearls on your neck, realized that you had worn something he had given. You looked weak.  Despite having an agreement, you felt betrayed.

Dismissing yourself from the women and sauntering past the couple, you got angrier. As tempting as it was, killing someone in a workplace would be incredibly unprofessional and you were no insufficient pirahea. You in fact were a great, great businesswoman. You reached to back of your neck, unclasping the pearls that burned your skin with embarrassment and shoved it into the pocket of you pants suit. How could he do this to you? In a workplace as well.

You didn’t turn around, although you did hope he would call your name to go after you, he didn’t.

Minutes later, of more pining and pitying of yourself, you decided to get back on track and talk to more people. It was as if every minute Doyoung wasted, made you more and more anxious about him not coming at all. It almost hurt how much he didn’t care. As much as Doyoung had helped you, somehow you felt that he still thought of you as a little girl. You tried desperately to show him you were women, in more ways than one.

You excused yourself from yet another person and strolled over to his office. You loved being in there, it was massive, it had a huge window with a view of all of Sueol. You reached his door, pulling it open. “Doy—oh my god.” You stood at the door, seeing at the door, opened halfway seeing his assistant on his lap, her dress pulled up, and his pants pulled to his ankles. Doyoung's eyes widened, glancing at the girl who had taken his cock. You closed the door, making sure nobody behind you had seen.

You shook your head, trying to get the visions out of your mind and to keep going. But all that was racing through your mind was the disgusting pictures playing through your mind. You didn’t think sex was disgusting. But when you watched someone you liked doing it, it got hundreds of times more abominable and atrocious than just watching porn. You had immediately set off to find that women again, you had been having a nice conversation with her before this whole mess started.

And then not so long after he came out, leaving his assistent behind. It was amusing to you how composed he looked, it was as if nothing ever happened. He fixed his tie while looking around the fancy office searching for you. It was as if he wasn’t just being pleasured. Frankly, you didn’t care if he had sex, it was who it was with the mattered to you. You wanted that to be you, and only you.  He took long strides over to you, brushing his black hair from his eyes and standing in front of you and the women.

He bowed to the women, verbalizing something in Korean, before turning to your and motioning his head in another direction.

“Could I please talk to you Y/N?” His eyes looked everywhere but your eyes, too embarrassed to look at you.

“It’s okay Ms. Y/N, I’ll be fine.” Bashful about turning down Doyoung in front of someone in public, you had no choice but go with him, and you weren’t looking forward to what he was going to discuss with you.

Pulling you into an empty corridor, he heaved a heavy sigh and knotted his finger in his hair. “I’m sorry you had to see that,” He whispered quietly. “I didn’t mea—”

“It’s fine, luckily I found you and not somebody else.” You felt defiled, dirty even, awaken to what scandalous deed you two were actually doing.

“Yeah, but still, I don’t know how I would feel If I saw you bein—Why did you take your necklace off? It looked nice.” You felt like hitting him very, very hard. If you don’t know how you would feel, then why do it?

“It’s not like we’re dating Doyoung, it doesn't matter.”

Everyone at the meeting was praising you, but even with recognition from everyone in the world, if you didn’t have Doyoung’s you weren’t satisfied. He shrugged, after hearing from you.

“I guess your right,” He mumbled, scratching the back of his neck. “But why did you take it off?”

“I think pearls aren’t for me,” You trailed off. “But what about the symbolization, didn’t you say it promoted centeredness and such. “

“Loyalty actually.” Doyoung nodded, his big brown eyes soft as he looked at you. He didn’t say anything, making your uncomfortable under his stare. “Like I said, I don’t think they’re for me. And I should get going.” You started to walked away, but his grip on your waist stopped you.

“Is Ji-Su bothering you? I heard what happened before I got to the meeting.”

His stare held concern and a twinge of sadness, continuing to search for your shifty eyes.

“She seems nice.” You complimented. “When she isn’t acting like a bitch.”

“I’ll fire her,” He blurted out shifting on his feet awkwardly. “If you don’t like it, I mean. I’ll fire her. You have to come here, and I don’t want it to be unbearable.”

You turned to look down the corridor at the elevator. “Yeah, well, my work here is done. I need to get home.”

It’s funny how things like this work. One moment you’re a struggling college student and the next you’re a world-renowned photographer, loved by artists and models. Now you were in Japan taking landscape photos and plant photos for Do-young's new computer system, trying to find the perfect default screensavers. That day after you caught Doyoung, you got home and threw yourself into your photography, being able to get more fine art pieces out, before you esteemed Calvin Klein campaign you were shooting a week later.

Doyoung had said he wanted to come with you, that he would be arriving a day after you in Japan to help choose things to photograph. But it’s been four days in Japan and four weeks since you’ve seen him.  You figured like always that he was either busy with work or with one of his other whores.

But maybe they weren’t as dumb as you, breaking his first rules and actually starting to like him. This was a deal, a partnership, not a thing for you to break your heart over. He had money to throw away, which is probably why he was letting girls take his money so easily. He was in fact, despite what he says, a very, very lonely man. Even with all the girls on his side,, there was no denying there was a void inside his lonely heart.  Sometimes you asked yourself why you stayed with him. And then you realized that you had no desire to leave because you would be just as lonely as him.

When it read eleven PM on the illuminated digital clock, you knew he either didn’t care or simply forgotten. It was most likely the fact he didn’t care. You set the teapot on the stove of Doyoung's unused Japan vacation house and set it at a low heating level, letting the fruit tea settle in the sifter. You heard the door slam, and the familiar footsteps of Doyoung’s dress shoes. You turned around, his hair was disheveled, but his suit remained classic and elegant. He stormed towards you, passing the dining table and living room to get to the kitchen.

“I’m so so sorry Y/N,” He pushed you into the counter, brushing the hair from your face.  He was out of breath as if he just ran here. He kissed you suddenly. The smack of your lips filled the room as he continued to kiss you. And then he put both hands on your waist, steadying himself and his kisses changed, something you never got from him before. He kissed you slowly, passionately. His hands roamed up your body and cupped your throat, moving to your cheeks. “I’m so sorry.” Your arms tangled up around his neck, wanting it, wanting him.

“You’re always sorry,” You mumbled on his lips, kissing him slowly again.

“I mean it this time. I do.”

“Mmm,” You joked, letting him slip his tongue into your mouth. His fingers were like matches to your skin, even a graze lit you on fire.

You knew he didn’t love you back or even like you. But you didn’t care, you couldn't resist his touch. He pulls away softly, brushing his lips against yours again. It wasn’t sexual, no, it was innocent as if he was having his first kiss again.

“Doyoung what’s wrong with you.”

“Nothing.” He kissed your cheek, a defensive lilt in his voice. His kisses traveled down your neck towards your ear. “I just missed you so much.” You couldn't believe him.

“Are you sure? Where have you been?”

“I don’t know what the fuck is going on, but all I want right now is to fuck you. Can you do that?” He said a little annoyed. But you didn’t listen to the annoying part, you listened to how scared he was.

“Yeah baby, we can.”

In an instant, he grabbed the underside of your thighs, pushing you onto the counter and tearing your sweatpants down your legs. Trying equally as hard to pull off your pink panties you wore just in case for scenarios like this. He peeled your legs from each other and looked down at you, the most exposed you. He ran his dainty finger over your slit all the way to your clit. He looked pulled your legs above his shoulders, leaning down slowly and coming face to face with your heat. He kitty licked you slowly. You squirmed at the feeling, waiting for him to do more to you. He didn't always eat you out, he used it as a reward system, but you didn’t know what you did that was worthy of his reward. And then he pushed his head into you, his tongue darting deeper and deeper inside of you, licking up your wetness that he started to create.

In pleasure, you took a fistful of his black hair, pushing his head further, you could hear his muffled moans as you did. His mouth was placed gently of your clit, sucking and darting your tongue under the little hood. You bucked your hips into him, your legs beginning to shake against his broad shoulders. And then he pushed two fingers inside of you.  Gasping at the sensation, a high moan leaves your lips.  With every thrust of his fingers, you feel yourself reaching your climax.

“C’mon baby, come for me.” And just as he said that you came onto his fingers, your juices quickly being lapped up by his tongue. You were never good with polyamorous relationships, you got too jealous for your own good. You didn’t want anyone else being pleasured by Doyoung but you, and you wanted to be the only one to touch him. He pushed your legs off of him, glancing at you momentarily, before taking his lips onto yours.

“Do you want me to fuck you?” He whispered his breath on your lips. You nodded slowly, feeling him grab your thighs and lift you up in his muscular arms. You turned your head and glanced at the counter, there was still a small pool of come next to the stove, and you suddenly became hyper-aware of how wet you were. You could be dripping onto Doyoung right now, or even on the floor.  Nevertheless, he carried you to the Japanese bedroom.

The room was nearly pitch black except for the tiny leak of moonlight that spilled into the room. Something about him now was so gentle, the way he lightly set you down and watched you as he took off his clothes, peeling the black suit off his body. He did it early slow, observing your body furthermore. You sat up, waiting for him.

And when he sat down on the bed, fully naked except for his black boxers, you threw your legs on either side of him and got comfortable on his lap, continuing the slow, fervid kissing. He moaned into the kisses, his hands moving to your ass, to your hips, all over the place.

Ever so slowly, you place both your hands on his chest and pushed him down until he was lying on his back. You kissed and licked behind his ear, nibbled on his lobe, and kissing down his jawline to his cheek.  You could feel the beautiful man’s clothed member hit your bare pussy, and you wanted him, you had wanted him so many times before this. But now, you didn’t just want to fuck him, you wanted to make love. And although you didn’t know quite what that was, you thought you could do it with, you thought you could find it.

You kissed his bare chest, worshipping every part of his body you came across until you got to his boxers. You took his boxers off, sliding them down his legs while your head followed, kissing his thighs, the inside of his knees. And now that the boxers were gone, you were going to take what you wanted for a long time.

You put your hand on his shaft. Feeling it smooth and under your touch. You stroked it gently. Up and down. It needed lubrication and I had just the perfect thing. Beads of pre-cum oozed from his head, licking it up with your velvety tongue. Doyoung mumbled something in Korean, looking down at you and grabbing a fistful of your hair.

Circling it slowly in your mouth, you moaned on his cock, finally feeling it in your mouth after months. He was smooth under your tongue, probing the tip and igniting every nerve. You licked lower, beneath the head and all the way down to the shaft. You massaged his balls in your hands, and slowly took his laugh in your mouth.

He was a good six inches, but a thick six inches, which was probably why he felt so good. To you, there was nothing better than a thick above average sized cock. You bobbed your head, moving up and down, hollowing out your mouth. You wanted him to make you his favorite, nobody could do it like you.

He pushed your head down, you could feel the tip of his cock hit your throat eliciting a gag, but you regained a hold of yourself. And soon you weren’t in control anymore, it was him, pushing your head up and down along his cock. Moaning words of encouragement to make him come. Then he stopped, slowly sitting up, prompting you to mirror his actions. He let you steady yourself on his lap, holding onto his shoulders.

“You have the mouth of a slut,” he whispered into your ear. “In and out of my beds.”  He kissed down your neck and moved the strap of your tank top. “Take your shirt off, princess.” 

His fingers played with the hem of your shirt, helping you pull it out. Luckily you wore no bra and you were completely naked in front of Doyoung. He took your breasts in his hand, kneading them roughly as you moaned. He chuckled a little, capturing your lips and kissing you.

He took your nippled between his fingers, rolling them over and making them hard.

“You’re so sexy princess,” He whispered, bringing your nipple to his mouth and sucking on it slowly, holding eye contact. You grabbed onto his shoulders, throwing your head back and moaning.

His slender fingers traced around the area, grabbing your tit and sucking softly, moving to the other breast.

His mouth hovered over you, his hot breath washing over your just-kissed skin. He squeezed your nipple again, while he took the other in his mouth, with enough force so you barely had time to register the pain. He left a couple hickeys. His hand gliding over your side and look down at where your bare pussy met his pelvis.

“Are you going to ride me, princess?” You nodded, getting up on your knees and holding onto his shoulders so he could position himself to enter you. You didn’t ride him a whole lot, it was when he was at work sitting in his chair or tired, maybe even a little vulnerable that he let you ride him. It meant having you in control, and he didn’t like that. He was a CEO, he wanted to be in control.

A stuttered groan came from Doyoung, reaching for your hips guiding your up and down as you made out slowly. He kept biting your lips and squeezing your ass. He leaned back a little, watching his cock plunge deep into your pink pussy.

You sped up, harshly slamming down on his cock, prompting high moans, and low moans.

A guttural moan released from his throat, he through his head in your neck and kissed you there, pleasure clouding his actions as he groaned at the feeling of your pussy.  You loved how he acted when he was being pleasured, it was as if he couldn't take what you were giving him, he acted helpless, sometimes desperate.

You started fucking faster, Doyoung was meeting you halfway, slamming into your further, his thick cock stretching you out even more. You almost screamed, gripping on his shoulders and digging your nails into him. He moaned, flipping you quickly so he was on top of you.

“You’re marking me now?” He growled in your ear.

One thing he hated was being marked, that was one of his rules. Don’t mark him. You always thought it was because he was a businessman and he never wanted people to see it. But that wasn’t it. He must have liked being marked since he did it to you a lot, but even if you accidentally left bruises. “You can’t help yourself can you.” He took one hard thrust into you, making you whine out in pain and pleasure. You felt his warm seed fill you up a chain of profanities leaving his mouth. It came in spurts, one creaming into you, and the other shooting hard. His breath grew ragged and he whined out.

He gripped your hips. He wanted to fuck your harder. And he fucked you until you came, but he didn’t stop, he kept going, despite the fact he knew you had never gone farther when getting fucked with a cock. He increased speed as you held with him each thrust. He pushed into you so hard his breath got even shakier.

You were both panting, whining. Way over your breaking point, but you liked it. You wanted to come again. Even though Doyoung was at his wit's end, he wouldn't stop pushing himself until you came again, until you couldn't take his cock anymore. Your legs began to shake, they usually did whenever you had sex with Doyoung, and you came all over his cock. It was too much, he had fucked you to hard and too thoroughly. He pulled out of you slowly, watching your face relax.

You fell next to you, sitting up slowly and glancing over. You took heavy breaths, trying to calm yourself down.

“So I’ll see you tomorrow then. What hotel are you staying at?” You said, reaching over and snatching his black pants off the ground. He took them from you but didn’t make any advances to get up or put them on.

“Actually…” He said softly, reaching his long arms over to grab his boxers. “I think I want to stay the night.”  He glimpsed at you shyly, asking for some seal of approval.

“Why?” He was silent, getting up momentarily to pull his black boxers up his legs. “Doyoung, what’s wrong?”

You asked the questions knowing he wouldn't be able to answer the question. He wasn’t good at articulating his emotions. He didn’t like putting himself out there, he didn’t like feeling vulnerable or looking at it. But he just ended up looking vulnerable anyways, keeping everything bottled up.

“You’re the only one,” he said whispering.

He wiped the beads of sweat off his forehead, his face illuminated from the moonlight. “What?”

“I want you.” He said more firmly. “I want you.” “Again? I mean we can go for one mo—” “No,” he stopped you, looking into your eyes softly. “I want you.” You finally knew what he meant. That he wanted you just a little more than what he was getting. That this sex was good, but he wanted a little more.

“Do you like me?” You asked, seeing him nod no slowly. But you knew he liked you, he admitted right then and there. “Do you love me?” He looked away from you, a shaky sigh leaving his mouth.

“I—”

“You don’t have to say it… if you do, you don’t have to say it.”

Love is a beautiful and scary thing all at the same time. For someone like Doyoung, he’s never tied down, so feeling something like that was new to him. Saying it to someone was weird and otherworldly. It made him feel vulnerable and you knew that. Baring out your heart and soul might leave you prone and vulnerable to hurt and pain, but sometimes taking the risk and letting it all out is one of the most amazing things that you’ll be able to experience. Doyoung needed his time, and he didn’t need to say it to you for you to know he did love you. He showed by his actions. Like the beautiful pearl necklace he got, and the relentless sorries he would always give.

So as he got up, pulling the covers off the bed and slipping in right before you did. A whisper left his lips.

“Thank you.”

And that’s how you knew he did. That’s how you knew he felt the same back. That you weren't just fucking him all this time, you were making love.

[lexosaurus]

Everything Was White - Part 1

Hey I wrote a phicc. Warning for GiW-related gore. Blease enjoy.

chapter two / read on ao3

---

"What do you remember about that day, Danny?"

The smell of antiseptic mixed with the citrus odor of ectoplasm. The sounds of expensive black shoes clicking against the tiled floors. Powerful hands, gripping small arms, dragging a lifeless body across the floor. The bright lights. Lips on tall faces that were always set in a frown. The white walls, floors, ceiling, suits. The glare of the lights against the floor. It's all white. The clang of the metal instruments being dropped on the white tiles. Who did that? It's so bright. The shoes won't stop clicking against the floor. Where's the body going? Why is it so bright?

"Danny?" The therapist leaned in, tilting her head to the side. Her blond hair slipped off her shoulder. "Talk to me."

"Nothing." Danny's eyes darted down to his lap where he held a blue stress ball. He pressed a finger into it, denting the material. It was soft, yet held a certain firmness that helped to ground his mind. He let out a shaky breath.

"I don't think I believe that," the therapist said.

Danny furrowed his brow. "It's too...I don't know."

The therapist sat patiently, waiting for him to finish processing his thoughts. She was the best, the hospital had reassured his parents. She would be able to get through to him. Danny wasn't so sure. How broken was too broken for a therapist? At what point would medication not be enough? This wasn't normal. Nothing about this was okay. He wasn't okay.

Danny's mouth pressed into a thin line, twitching slightly. It was as if his mouth knew what it wanted to say, but it just couldn't quite find the words to say it. "It's too...bright," he finished lamely.

"That sounds stressful."

"I guess."

The therapist relaxed in her chair, her blond curls bouncing slightly at the movement. She folded her hands across her lap. In the moment, she looked so similar to Jazz that Danny could have smiled. "Did this happen the day after you were kidnapped?"

"No." Danny squished his fingers deeper into the stress ball. He was starting to get a headache. "No...it happened…after."

"How far after?"

"I don't know. After."

It was the climax of his stay at the facility. The day everyone was waiting for. All other tests had been run. They knew Danny's core temperature, they knew his height and weight, they knew his exact power level, they knew which chemicals he reacted to and which ones he didn't. They knew how to take down a ghost far better than they ever did. They had the knowledge they needed.

Now it was time to have fun with their prize.

The therapist nodded. "You mentioned a few days ago that they said something to you when you got to the room? Do you know what they said?"

"No." The words were an automatic reflex at this point. He remembered everything. Every footstep, every speck of dust on the ceiling, every drop of ectoplasm that stained the floor behind him.

"Where's your bark, dog?" The worst of them had said, laughing as he prodded Danny with a low-powered electrical stick. The real pain was in the collar. The stick was just for show. "Little doggy's lost his bark, hasn't he?"

His eyes darted around him. Chains appeared on his side. He shivered, the chains cold against his bare skin. When had they chained him to the table? Green bled into the white tiles, into the white of his jumpsuit. Of his gloves. The DP logo was gone and replaced by a gaping hole in his chest.

A hole.

In his.

In his chest.

"Struggle against me again, dog, and you'll get a lot worse than an electric shock."

"I'm not a dog," he whispered.

He wasn't a dog. They couldn't tell him he was. He wasn't a dog.

"They called you a dog, Danny?" the therapist asked, her clear voice piercing through the dense fog in his mind.

His head snapped up. He glared into the grays of her eyes. "I'm not a dog."

"I know, Danny." The therapist jotted down something in her notebook.

"I'm not a dog," he repeated, less sure of himself.

The therapist nodded again. "You're not," she affirmed.

"Right." Danny said awkwardly, his eyebrows creased in confusion. They sat for a minute in silence. Danny turned the stress ball around in his hands, focusing on the way the light of the office reflected against the matte rubber. It was soft, soothing. He pressed a finger into the ball, disrupting the flow of the light.

"So they took you into a room, right? Can you describe it for me?"

Danny tapped his fingers against the ball. "It was white. Like the others."

The therapist leaned in, resting her elbows on her knees. "Danny, are you okay to tell me what happened next?"

He shrugged. It didn't matter, anyways. He had to. His parents were paying good money to make sure he did. And the last thing he wanted was to let his family down. They'd already been through so much, with him being ripped away from his home so violently like he was. Jazz hadn't been able to leave visits without tearing up yet. And his mother...

Danny didn't know how to deal with his mother crying.

"They, uh, put me on—uh, I mean, they shocked me first." He risked a glance up at the therapist. He had her undivided attention. "And I went on this table. And...and then—uh—they...you know."

"What happened?" She said, her voice soft like velvet.

"You read the report," Danny said bitterly.

"I want to hear it from you."

Danny glared down at his lap. "They put me on the table and poked me with the metal stick. And laughed. And then...they...my jumpsuit—and. They took the scalp—" Danny choked, dropping the stress ball on the floor. His hands shot up and grabbed his hair. He bent down until his elbows mimicked the therapist's.

"I'm—I'm sorry." He rocked back and forth in his chair. "I'm sorry."

"Danny, it's okay. You in a safe place. Focus on my voice."

"I'm sorry," Danny gasped, struggling to slow the erratic air coursing through his lungs. In, out. In, out. He shut his eyes, chasing away the memories. Like a bad horror movie, they refused to stop. They flashed against his eyelids in random snippets. A flash of light as a new metal instrument was plucked from the table. The agents unzipping his jumpsuit and touching his bare skin. The white hot pain of his skin being peeled ba—

"That's right, Danny. Breathe. You're right here, in my office. You're safe. Focus on my voice. Breathe with me okay? In...and out. In….and out."

He was in the office.

"You're doing so great, Danny. Keep breathing with me. In...and out…and in…"

He was in the office.

"Danny, can you look at me?"

Breathe.

He was in the office. He was safe. In, and out. He needed to look at his therapist. She was there to help him.

His unfocused gaze shifted up to meet the steady eyes of his therapist. She smiled warmly at him. "Danny, you're doing so great. I know this is very difficult, and I'm proud that you're starting to open up with me. The things you're feeling right now are valid and okay. You don't need to apologize to me or anyone else about it, okay?"

In, and out.

"Yeah."

---

Danny arrived at the adolescent inpatient facility two weeks ago. He knows this because that's what the psychiatrists have been telling him. He also knows he came home from the GiW facility a month before that because he asked Jazz on the phone last week and she told him. And then she asked if he was okay and if he needed her to call a nurse and if he felt better on medication. He hung up and wheeled away, only for her to show up at the facility the next day furious for hanging up on her. Looking back, he knew it was a shitty thing to do. He just...couldn't handle her energy at the time.

"You're lucky your sister cares about you that much," a brunette boy told him stiffly, coloring in a mountain scene he'd outlined.

There wasn't much to do in the facility during free time, but one thing the hospital did provide is blank sheets of paper and markers. Some of the markers even had stamps on the other side. Danny found the yellow one with star-stamps last week, which quickly turned into his favorite marker. It didn't require much thinking, just a gentle press into the blank sheet of paper.

The other boy arrived a few days into Danny's stay. He was set to leave the facility next week, he said. He had a standard two-week stay. Suicide attempt, he'd told everyone during group therapy.

"My sister moved out when I was eight," the boy went on. "She comes around on holidays, but other than that I don't see her much. My family's not that close like yours is."

"Jazz is nice." Danny said. His therapist told him he needed to talk to the other patients more. But it was...weird. The other patients knew about Phantom. The whole world did. He was all over the news, apparently. Some of the other patients were starstruck that Danny Phantom of all people was here in the facility, but others were less happy. Some people refused to look him in the eye, glared at him when they thought he didn't notice. Others cowered from him, afraid he would beat them up for existing. Like the GiW did to him.

The boy paused his coloring. "You know, during...everything...she was on the news all the time, right? Demanding for the government to let you come home? She cares about you so much, dude. You're so lucky."

He felt something flare inside of him. "I'm not lucky."

The other boy looked up at him in surprise. "What?"

"I was locked up in a government facility for...for three weeks. How is—uh, how is that lucky?" Danny asked.

"I was saying that you're lucky your sister loves you so much, not that you became a walking experiment—"

"Shut up!" Danny was on his feet in an instant, his face red. "I'm not! I didn't ask for this! Shut up!"

"Boys!" Came one of the nursing assistants. "Is everything okay?"

"I'm sorry!" Danny yelled, his eyes wide.

"Phantom's gone crazy," the brunette said. Turning to Danny, he hissed, "I can't believe you were in charge of protecting—"

The nursing assistant held up her hands. "Devon, would you like to take a minute alone in your room?"

"No, I want to get back to my activity!" The brunette pointed at his paper. "It's not my fault Phantom's acting like an animal!"

The blood drained from his face. "I'm not a dog!" Danny yelled reflexively. His shaking hands flew up to grip his hair.

The nursing assistant held up a hand. "Danny, I know you're not. Would you like to come over here with me?"

No, he needed her to understand. She needed to understand. "I'm not a dog!"

Another staff member approached him. "That's right, Danny. Would you like to continue coloring with me?"

"I need to...to change." He mentally poked at his sleeping core.

"Change into what?"

He needed to get out. Leave. The walls in here were white. Who designed that? He was trapped. He couldn't breathe. He tried to transform again. "Why can't I change?"

"I think he's talking about his ghost," one of the staff members whispered to the other.

"It's not my ghost, it's me," Danny argued. "I can't...I can't find it. I need to—uh, to get out of here."

The bright lights glared down at him, and walls started to move in. A familiar weight appeared on his neck. No no, he wasn't back at the government compound. He was at the hospital. Breathe two three, out two three…

Out of the corner of his eye he noticed the first staff member pick up the brunette's art supplies and move to another table.

"Do you remember when you got here?" the new staff member's voice was patient. "The hospital had to give you a chip that took away your...other side for a time. It'll be out as soon as you are ready to leave the hospital, I promise. Why don't you sit down and color with me, Danny?"

"I'll get it back?" Danny said, a hand automatically covering his chest where his core rested.

"Yes, Danny, once you complete this program," the nurse said. "Please sit down with me?"

"Okay," he said, removing his trembling hand slowly from his hair. "Okay."

He glanced around the room. People were looking at him. Some people seemed curious, but most appeared tense, as if they were plotting their escapes should he go on a murderous rampage.

He blew out a large stream of air and sat back down in his seat, suddenly exhausted. He tried to ignore the way the tension in the room immediately dissipated. He scowled, despite his best efforts.

The staff member slid a blank sheet of paper towards her. "What do you think I should draw, Danny?"

Danny shrugged and glanced around for the yellow stamp marker. It was on the floor. When did it fall?

She bent down and grabbed the marker from the floor. Handing it to him, she said, "I think I'll draw my favorite lake that my family likes to go to during the summer. What are you drawing, Danny?"

"Space. Or something," he said, poking the marker at his paper. Maybe he could make some constellations while he was at it.

"That's cool! Space is so interesting, and I love those markers. Something about using those stamps is just so relaxing, isn't it?" she asked.

Danny shrugged again.

"You want to work with NASA, right?"

Danny frowned. "I do…"

"You seem unsure," she observed.

"I just don't know if...you know...someone like me can be hired by them," Danny said. "It's not exactly a secret that people are afraid of me. You know? And after...everything…" Danny huffed, pausing his coloring and reaching for his hair once again. "My grades are awful I'm not...I mean, uh...I'm not exactly human. The...the government made sure to let me know."

She sighed. "Danny, don't—"

"But it's true, isn't it?" his wide eyes met hers. "That no one thinks of me as human? I mean, I—I know...like..I'm not but I still...I still want to be treated like one." An all-too familiar lump formed in his throat. "And I know what the other...other people...teens say here. They're all...all afraid of, uh...me. And I—I know the staff is too. Ghosts aren't...they're not—uh...mindless blobs of...of energy. We have thoughts and...stuff...feelings too. They're just...a...just different...I guess. But they're still there."

"None of the staff is afraid of you, Danny," she reassured. "If we were, you wouldn't be in this facility. But you're here because we and your parents want to help you. You've been through something really traumatic and everything you're feeling is normal and very human, okay? We all want what's best for you."

"Then why aren't I—uh, I allowed to go ghost?" Danny demanded. "Why do I have this...this...chip inside me?"

"Hospital policy against having weapons inside," the staff member told him. "You know this, Danny. It's not that we don't trust you, it's that we are responsible for everyone that passes through these doors. Including you. What if you use your powers to hurt yourself? What if you use them to leave? We can't have that." Her expression softened considerably as she added, "And I don't think this response is that surprising to you, right?"

No. It wasn't surprising. But that didn't mean he had to agree with it.

"Yeah, I guess."

"You can't control what others think of you based on the media, but by being a good person, which you are, you can change people's perceptions of you. And Danny, I don't think anyone here thinks badly of you."

His jaw tightened. "You're wrong."

"I think people may be initially apprehensive or nervous, but once people meet you it goes away immediately. People like you, Danny. You're a good person and it shows."

He was silent at that.

"Do you think you're a good person?" the staff member asked with a gentle voice.

"I don't know," Danny answered, refusing to meet her eyes. "I try to be. But I...I don't think...you know, I don't think it's working."

"But you still try, right?" she pressed.

"Yeah," Danny said.

"Then that's all that matters."

They continued coloring in silence for a while. Eventually, even Danny was forced to admit his night sky had more than enough stars in it. He flipped his sheet of paper around and starting drawing Saturn. He always liked the way Saturn looked with its rings and its swirling gas clouds. It was colorful, yet peaceful at the same time. If only he could see it in person.

Something wasn't right. Before, he didn't realize. But now, with the silence and the mindless energy of dotting stars against the night sky, he understood what was wrong. And before he could help himself, Danny blurted out, "I don't like that."

The staff member peaked over at Danny's drawing, "Your drawing of Saturn? It looks good to me."

Danny shook his head. "No. Not that."

The staff member stayed silent, allowing Danny to collect his thoughts. His brow furrowed, and he gripped the table as if that stability would someone help him form sentences faster. "I...don't like...being called an animal."

"Yeah?" the staff member asked, a clear prompt to continue.

"They...you know," Danny shifted uncomfortably. Before coming to the psych ward, his parents hardly made him talk about his experiences. They thought space was the answer. One month and several meltdowns later, his parents had realized that space was very much not the solution. Talking through issues with professionals was. Danny, despite his teen hormones still screaming at him to block everyone out, had to agree.

"Sorry," he apologized. "This is hard."

"It's okay. We have all the time you need here."

"I just—it's just like, uh...they never—they never called me by my name. Ever," Danny said awkwardly. "One of the nicknames they liked was—uh, was dog. Sometimes it was just animal though. Like...like they couldn't pick the worst one. I was all of them combined. I was...I was just an animal to them."

The GiW called him that right from the start. They hit his head in the van ride over to the facility, which they said was because they couldn't have him escaping, but Danny knew better. They dragged his dazed body through the maze that was their hallway system until they stopped at a pristine white door, identical to the other doors they passed on the way over in all manners except for its label. Alpha Priority Room.

"I'm that special?" Danny asked, his brave mask doing nothing to cover his trembling voice. The GiW had injected his body with some liquid on the way over, forcing him into Phantom form. He couldn't change back, no matter how hard he tried.

"Save it, ghost scum," one of the agents said as he swiped his card along the scanner next to the door.

The door hissed open, revealing a room no larger than a prison cell. The walls, ceiling, and floor was all white, and four security cameras sat upon the corners of the room. There were no lights on the ceiling, no windows overlooking the outside. Just whiteness.

The agent shoved him inside, and his weakened form could do little more than brace his impact to the ground. Danny rolled over just in time to hear the agent snarl, "You're government property now. No one can save you here. You're nothing more than a fucking animal to us."

The door closed, and Danny was encased in darkness.

---

chapter two 

[janestrider]

Reflections

Read on AO3. Sort of a continuation of Replaced (AO3). Set in s7 during the journey home. How Shiro ended up moving to Green.

She shouldn’t stare. Pidge forced her gaze to the campfire and poked at her food. Hunk would be offended if she didn’t eat anything, but she wasn’t hungry. Hadn’t been for most of the last week. Her eyes drifted back up of their own accord. She shouldn’t stare, but it’s hard not to stare at a ghost. 

He stood outside their circle, seeming to have lost his appetite as well, silent and still. He was staring too, but not at any one thing. His eyes wandered. First to the fire, watching the alien wood crackle and blacken and spit out sparks that turned from orange to blue.  The rising sparks drew his gaze upward to the stars and the planet’s several small moons. Someone laughed at one of Lance’s jokes, breaking him out of his reverie for a moment. He didn’t seem to have heard what was said, but what could have been a smile ghosted his lips until he spotted Keith; specifically the thick red burn on Keith’s cheek. He stared at that for a long time, face unreadable, but was it just a trick of the fire or did his eyes seem to shimmer with unshed tears? She couldn’t tell. But the Black Lion held his gaze the longest, its massive form silhouetted against the starry sky, and somehow Shiro looked... apprehensive. 

She thought herself observant, but she never caught on. None of them had. She never spotted the difference between the real Shiro and the clone. So she stared, hoping the sight of him now would stand in stark contrast to the clone and remind her how he’d been before, hoping she’d feel relief that things were finally as they should be. But if anything, he felt more a stranger now than he had when he was... well, a stranger. 

Would she have felt that same strangeness before if she’d only paid attention? If she hadn’t been so caught up in her tech and coding and the fight with the Galra? If she hadn’t told herself when they found him to ‘give him some space’, ‘he’ll talk about it if he want’s to talk about it’, ‘Keith’s got it handled’, would she have picked up that something was off? Keith hadn’t. Why would she? But the guilt still gnawed at her. 

So she rifles through her memories looking for clues all the while watching the man in question. She tries to remember Shiro as he was then, back when she’d met him. And the first thing she recalls--the strongest memory in her mind-- is his smile. Calm, gentle, encouraging, it was the smile he wore when she found Green, every time he reassured her she’d find her family, when he promised to keep her secret, and when she decided to confide it to the others, before every mission when they went to their lions. It reminded her of Matt and her dad. It felt like a bit of home found her. 

The clone... She couldn’t recall him offering that smile. But she hadn’t needed it then. Shiro had been missing so long, she’d stopped looking for that smile. And after he “returned” ... she never bothered to look for it again. 

The clone didn’t not smile, but most of the time his brows were furrowed in a near constant frown, sometimes pinching the bridge of his nose or rubbing his temple. He’d had headaches, she remembered. She’d never given it much thought. Lots of people got headaches. She assumed it was stress. Who had more reason to be stressed than Shiro? So she never questioned it, even when the pain got really bad. It was just stress. Just being overworked. 

That’s why she invited him to play Monsters and Mana with them. He said he’d been working too hard, and yet he was still working on reports and mission plans when he should have been resting. She had to half drag him to the lounge... And he’d smiled then, not for her or anyone else’s benefit, but because he was having fun. It wasn’t the soft gentle smile she recalled of Shiro. It was unguarded, lopsided, almost childlike now that she thought about it, and her stomach twisted again. 

He’d smiled when she brought Matt back too, and after they’d rescued her dad... 

Dad... She’d been so determined to get him back, she was willing to offer an unarmed prisoner for him. Even if Lotor was a villain in the end, they hadn’t known that at the time. If they had just done what she wanted... If Shiro hadn’t armed Lotor... no, if the clone hadn’t armed Lotor... 

She got up and dumped the remainder of her food back in the pot, feeling too sick to even pretend to eat anymore. Everyone else was finishing up as well, and started packing up for the night. As nice as it would be to camp out and sleep under the stars, it just wasn’t worth the risk when the lions were right there and so much safer.  

Shiro started to help, but was quickly shoo’d off by Keith. “Just take it easy, Shiro. We can handle this,” she heard him say. Shiro merely smiled in reply--that gentle smile for others’ benefits, not the childish lopsided grin--and stepped back out of everyone’s way, looking only a little bit sad before staring once again at the Black Lion. He was so lost in thought, he didn’t notice Pidge sidle up next to him, didn’t hear her whisper his name, nearly jumped out of his skin when she tugged lightly at his hand. 

“Sorry! Sorry!” Both her hands pulled back in placation. “Just... Trying to get your attention ‘s all.” She glowered at her feet, suddenly feeling this was a stupid idea. 

Shiro shook his head and smiled, a gentle one, for her benefit. “No, I’m sorry, Pidge. Guess I was in my own little world there. Is something wrong?” 

“What? No, of course not! I was just wondering...” She scratched her cheek, thinking how best to word this. “...If you wanted to stay in Green with me... for a little while...”

Shiro’s brows jumped up and she hastily added, “it’s just that--It gets kinda lonely sometimes and we haven’t really had the chance to catch up since you got back, but I totally get it if you’d rather stay with Keith and Black--”

“No!” Shiro cut her off. “I-I mean, that sounds great, Pidge. I’d love the chance to catch up. I’ll let Keith know and meet you there.” 

Pidge beamed back at him, practically bouncing in relief. “I can tell him over the comms later. In the meantime, can you help me carry my stuff back to Green? It’s kinda heavy for me.” 

For a moment, Shiro’s eyes grew wide and Pidge wondered if she should retract the offer. It wasn’t that heavy, but maybe he really wasn’t up for it. Before she could take it back, he smiled--a gentle, lopsided grin. “I’d be happy to,” he said softly, and she grinned back. 

[cosmichoneyedblossoms]

White Sands

MERMAN Shownu X Reader

Genre: Fluffy

Word Count: 2,894

A/N: Okay, so, not gunna lie, this one was hard to write, but also fun! Thank you @xkpopobsessedx for helping me create ideas for this cutie! Anyway, I hope y’all enjoy!

Day One: 8:00 PM

“It’s been so long since we’ve been on a vacation together. What’s it been like, five years?”

“Mmm...” I hummed, scrolling through my phone. My mother tapped my leg, my eyes dragging up to see her face, “What?”

“Put your phone away. We’re going on this trip to get you out of your funk since that stupid boy broke your heart.”

“Can we not talk about Dean, please...” I asked, turning my head to look out the window.

“This four day get away at the beach should help you.”

“Yeah, because the ocean and sand can help me get rid of my depression...” 

“Don’t be like that, Y/N...” She whispered and I tuned her voice out as I watched the trees turn into beaches, tan sands fading almost to white due to the season change. The water soaking in the still warm air and bright sun, resting upon the shore line waiting to cover someone’s feet; I bet it’s starting to get cold, not like we’ll probably swim anyway. 

“We’re here.” We pulled up to a house that sat on the beach. The siding of the house colored a cerulean blue, fashioned with dark wood steps leading up to the door; even though the house was weathered, it still held some beauty. We stepped out of the car, pulling our luggage from the trunk, and then made our way up to the door. My mother opened the deep red door and we were greeted by the squeals of my older sisters, Anessa and Samantha.

“So glad you guys could finally make it.” Anessa took our mother’s luggage from her, sliding it over to the side of the couch.

“I’m sorry, girls. There was so much traffic on the highway.”

“No surprise there.” Sam grunted from the couch.

“Sorry to interrupt, but will you show me to my room, please?” I asked, Anessa skimmed over me, placing her hands on her hips.

“Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you. I think the last time I saw you was at Christmas dinner with De—”

“All right, all right, let’s not pester, Y/N. She’s had a long week. Sam, honey, show her to her room, please.”

“Ah, okay, mom.” Sam replied, getting up from the couch. I followed her down the hall to the last room on the left and she opened the door, “Let me know if you need anything, okay?”

“Mmm...” I nodded and walked into the blinding room. Pale blue painted walls, dark wood flooring, driftwood colored furniture, white bedding, and a window seat facing the ocean.

Cute...

I opened my bag, unpacked my clothes into the dresser, then closed the curtains over the windows, and finally laid down on the bed, resting my eyes.

Day Two: 4:00 AM

I opened my eyes to a dark bedroom, the sound of the ocean waves seeping into the room.

How long have I been out?

I pulled my phone from under the pillow, the screen lighting up to show 4:02 on the clock. I laid my phone down, turning on the lamp on the side table, then getting up to pull a sweater from the dresser. I tugged it on, slipping on my shoes, and stepping out of the bedroom into the dim hallway. I padded my way across the floor into the dining room, sliding the glass balcony door open, letting the sea salt tainted air kiss my face. I closed the door behind me and walked down the balcony stairs, down into the sand. The sound of the waves crashing soothed my numb mind, my body being pulled closer to the shore; I sat down close to the water, watching it roll in and drift back out, when something moving through the water caught my eye.

A person swimming at this time of night?

I watched the body move closer and closer until I could make out his features in the moonlight— shaggy dark brown hair, soft cheek bones, but killer jaw line, thick lips, and sharp eyes.

Wow, he’s gorgeous...

He came closer until his body rested on the shore, everything but his head still under the water, “Hey...”

Is he talking to me?

I looked around, searching for someone else he could be talking to when he spoke again, “Who are you looking for?”

“I was making sure you were actually talking to me.” I confessed, tugging at the sleeves of my sweater. His eyes wrinkled as a beaming smile appeared on his lips.

“What is a beautiful girl like you doing out here in the middle of the night?”

“I could ask you the same thing. Isn’t the water cold?” I asked, moving closer to him, the water starting to touch my feet.

“Not really. I live in the water so it doesn’t really effect me.”

“Ah, you mean you’re always coming out to swim—”

“No...” The water splashed behind him and I leaned to the side, the dark red color coming into focus, “I’m a merman.” I got up to my feet, traipsing into the water, the iciness making me hiss, but I needed to make sure he wasn’t playing around with me, I needed to see if he was telling the truth.

“I thought mermaids and mermen were just old sailors tales, not real life...?” I questioned as he turned over, sitting on the ocean floor, his waist submerged under the water.

“We stay hidden for our safety.” He lifted his tail, the deep red iridescent scales glittering under the moonlight.

“What a shame, you’re a beautiful creature...” I ran my hand over his scales, his tail twitching at my touch. I flicked my eyes up to his face, his cheeks ruddied and his bottom lip caught between his teeth, “I’m sorry, I touched you without even asking,”

“No, no, that’s okay. I was just shocked you actually came out into the cold ocean to touch me.” He teased, his wet locks fell onto his forehead as he lifted his hand, “I haven’t introduced myself yet, I’m Hyunwoo, but you can call me Shownu.”

“Oh,” I took his hand into my own, shaking it, “I’m Y/N.”

“A beautiful name for someone like you.” My cheeks burned at his statement, his chestnut eyes stared into mine, his hand pulling me close, “Y/N...” My name bubbled from his lips, his voice hypnotizing me, “I’m sorry, but the sun is starting to come up, so I must take my leave.”

“Oh...” I turned towards the horizon, hints of pinks starting to tint the sky, “Has it really been that long?”

He grunted to my question, “Can I see you tomorrow night, well I should say tonight?”

“Of course you can, if you want to.” A smile spread over his lips, his teeth peeking through his lips.

“Lovely. Meet here at midnight?”

I nodded, biting my lip.

“I’ll see you tonight, Y/N.” Shownu swam out into the ocean, soon diving down and disappearing.

Day Three: 12:00 am

“You came, Y/N.” Shownu laid against the shore, just as he did the night before.

“Did you think I wouldn’t?”

Shownu pondered my question then shrugged, “I wasn’t sure, but I’m glad you did.”

“I actually came prepared this time, too.”

“What do you mean by that?” He asked as I pulled off my sweater, Shownu clearing his throat, “Y/N, what’re you doing?”

“Taking off my clothes, so I can get in the water in my bathing suit and keep my street clothes clean and dry.” I laughed, seeing his cheeks flush.

“I thought you were—”

“Oh, I know what you thought.” I teased, tossing my shorts with my sweater away from the shore and stepping into the water, taking a seat next to him. He cleared his throat once more, scooting closer to me, peering into my face.

“Y/N?” 

“Yes?”

“Has anyone ever told you that you have the prettiest eyes? Especially in the moonlight?”

I laughed a bit, nudging him, “Has anyone ever told you that you’re such a flirt?” Shownu let out a chuckle leaning into me, sighing comfortably, “I do have a question for you, Shownu.”

“And I have an answer for you... probably.”

“If staying hidden was to keep you safe, why did you show yourself to me?”

“Hmm... that’s a good question...” He flicked his tail up, sucking his teeth, “Since I was a child, I could always tell when someone needed something. May it be an ear or someone to lean on, I could just feel it in my bones and seeing you last night, I could tell something was wrong, but I didn’t need to ask since it’s none of my business...” He paused for a moment, his hand ghosting over my fingers, “I’m here for you, whatever you need, Y/N.” I looked at him, his eyes catching mine.

“Shownu...” I felt a blush start to prickle at my cheeks and I looked down at my lap, soon his warm wet fingers brushed strands of hair behind my ear, “Tomorrow is my last night here so, I wouldn’t get too attached to me.”

“I’m not going to worry about that right now. I’ll make the moments you spend with me memorable, to where you won’t forget me or want to leave me.”

“Not like I could forget meeting a merman.” I breathed, moving out into the water.

“Oh, would you like me to leave then?” He huffed, moving out into the water with me.

“No!” I exclaimed and Shownu snorted, trying to stifle a laugh, “Don’t be mean.” I splashed water at him and he chuckled.

“Oh, now it’s on.” He hissed, playfully pulling me to him, his fingers poking at my sides making me squirm and giggle under his touch. I struggled to get away from him, but his hands ceased their attack and held me close to him, his warmth spreading through my back.

“Is this where you kill me?” I joked, a laugh leaving him. 

“If I wanted to kill you, I would’ve already.” I rested my head against his chest, watching the moon ripple on the water. 

“The more time I spend out here in the water, the more I feel myself wanting to stay. For a change of scenery, to get away from my home, away from the memories that linger in that town...” I ran my fingers over Shownu’s arm, his grip tightening.

“Then why don’t you stay?”

“There’s just things I have to return to... work, school... life in general. I rather spend my time here, with you, soaking up the moonlight and avoiding stress.”

“Stress? Why are you so stressed?”

“It’s a long story.”

“We’ve got three more hours until daylight, so we’ve got time.” 

“Well...” I went into deep detail of my life for the past few months since my break up with my ex and about how I’ve been dealing with it. Every once in a while Shownu would ask a question and then fall silent again; once I finished my life story, Shownu rested his head in the nook of my neck.

“I wish you never had to go through that, Y/N... You’re such a sweet girl. If I were human, I would keep you by my side forever.” He whispered, placing a gentle kiss on my shoulder.

“You’re too kind, Shownu... We just met and I feel like I’ve known you for forever.” I relaxed into him, sighing a bit, noticing the break of daylight leaking out onto the water, “Time to go, Shownu...”

“Just a few more minutes, please.” Shownu tightened his grip on me, burying his face into my damp hair.

“Just a few, I don’t want you getting caught.” Shownu lifted his head, turning it in close to my cheek, his lips grazing against my skin.

“Alright.” Shownu held me close for a few more moments, short silent moments, before he let me go and placed a soft kiss against my cheek, “Midnight, my dear.”

“Deal.” I smiled, watching him dive down, and disappear.

Day Four: 12:00am

I sat down on the cold sand in jeans and a thick sweater, the sea salt breeze starting to get colder every night. I watched the water ripple, waiting for Shownu to appear. Pulling my knees up to my chest, I rested my head on them, my eyes getting heavy. I dug my phone from my pocket, looking at the clock that read 12:10.

Maybe he got caught up with something... He knows it’s our last night...

I hugged my legs, burying my face into my sweater to fight off the cold breeze, closing my eyes.

“Y/N...” A gentle voice called out, rousing me from my sleep. I pulled my head up for the bright sunlight to blind me.

It’s morning?

I rubbed my eyes, blinking them a few times before trying to focus on anything around me.

He didn’t show...

Warmth spread over the top of my head, causing me to look up, a shadow looming over me, “I’m sorry it took me so long, Y/N, but I’m here now...” Shownu’s voice met my ears and I smiled.

“That’s funny... you sound like—” The shadow crouched down, my eyes focusing on the voice’s face, Shownu’s features coming into focus.

“It is me, dork.” He whispered and I looked him up and down, no tail, but human legs covered by the blanket I brought out.

“Shownu?!” I squealed, jumping from the sand to face him, “H-How is this possible?” I studdered, trying to take in his body. He stood, a little wobbly on his feet.

“When my father passed, he knew I was not meant for the sea, he gave me an elixir saying that it could make one sprout legs to walk the earth. I thought it was all a joke so I didn’t mess with it, but then I met you and I needed to at least try to see if it was real... and now...” He chuckled, “I’m here, in front of you, naked...”

“Oh shit, Shownu, let’s get you inside.” I took his hand, tugging him up to the balcony, “When did you get here? How long did you let me sleep?” I walked up the stairs and then I pushed open the sliding door to be met by my mother’s and my sister’s stares.

“Y/N? Who is the naked—”

“No time to explain, mom. Anessa, do you still have some of your husbands old clothes that don’t fit him anymore?” They stared at me then skimmed over Shownu, him shyly lifting his hand, waving— them not moving, “Y’all!” I yelled, Anessa rushing to her room.

“Let me go draw a bath for him, you must be freezing, dear.” My mother looked over him once more before going to the bathroom. Sam just sat there, ogling him, her mouth slightly ajar.

“Sam, go do something with yourself...” I growled, pulling Shownu over to the bathroom, my mother sliding out to let us through. I closed the door behind us and I sighed leaning against the counter, “They’re going to be the death of me...”

“They seem nice.”

“They can be, until they see a gorgeous man walk through the door.” Shownu chuckled at my words, “Alright, merman, get into the bath.” He looked at me and then at the bathtub.

“The what?”

“The bath...” I pointed at the tub and he shrugged his shoulders, starting to get into the bathtub with the blanket wrapped around his waist, “Oh, hold on...” I took the blanket into my hands, closing my eyes, pulling it from his body.

“Can I not get that wet?”

“I mean you could, but the bath is to wash you.”

“Wash me?” I opened my eyes to be met with his confused gaze.

“Yes, wash you. Now sit.” He sat down at my words.

“It’s hot.”

“Yup, that’s how it’s supposed to be.” I took the cup that was on the side of the tub and dipped it into the water, then pouring it over his hair. I grabbed the bottle of shampoo and he cocked his head to the side.

“What’s that?”

“Shampoo, it’s to wash your hair.” I opened the cap and squirted the thick liquid into my hand and rubbed it into his hair, creating a thick lather, and then pouring the water through his hair once more to rise it out. I grabbed another bottle and handed it to him, “Okay so this is body wash, you take this...” I grabbed a washcloth from the rack over the toilet and handed it to him, “Soak that in the water and add some of the body wash to the cloth and clean your body. I’m going to go get the clothes from Anessa.”

“Mmm.” He nodded his head and I left the bathroom, Anessa, Sam, and my mother looking at me.

“What?”

“Who is that man?” Sam crossed her arms, huffing.

I laughed a little, “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you, just think of him as my new companion... Anessa, those clothes?”

“Ah.” She handed me a stack of clothes and I smiled, “When we get home, I’ll send these back.”

“Just keep them. They’re too big for him anyway.”

“Thanks.” I turned back and walked into the bathroom to see Shownu standing outside of the tub, a towel wrapped around his waist, “Oh, you’re done?”

“I think so.” 

“Well, c’mon, let’s go get you dressed.” I opened the door once again, starting to walk out when Shownu’s hand gripped onto the fabric of my sweater, following closely behind me.

Shownu sat on my bed, clothed in a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt, his eyes roaming the bedroom. I dug in one of the dresser drawers, pulling out another towel and I walked over in front of him, “Your hair is still wet, you’re going to get a cold, goofy.” I gently rubbed his hair, drying the dripping ends, his hands wrapping around my waist.

“Is this what it would be like everyday with you?” He nuzzled his face into my chest, my cheeks burning at the feeling of his warmth radiating through my body.

“Shownu, why did you change?”

Not missing a beat, he spoke, “Because I found someone I couldn’t live in the water with, so I changed...” He gazed up at me, his unwavering chestnut eyes looking into my soul, “So I could be with you.” 

[impulseislost]

Cold hands with a Warm heart

I’ll be completely honest, I’m over this one. I started this two months ago and I’m just over it. soo mm. It cuts off a bit too sharply, so sorry about that one

warnings: Strongly implied character deaths. mentions of an unspecified illness and uh, seungmin get sedated

His chest ached, and not in the good 'I've just run 3k and I'm resting now' way. No, it hurt in the 'there's something wrong with me' way.

Seungmin wasn't surprised, they'd crashed, on the way to a concert and now he couldn't feel his legs. His sister had stopped whimpering only minutes before hand, and he could feel his breathe becoming short. The phone discarded by his head, the last seven calls showing the emergency line... They weren't going to make it, were they.

He felt a hand brush his, gripping it tightly in a form of reassurance and the whispered voice of his sister telling him it'd be fine. He let himself believe it would be.

"Hey, wake up." A quiet voice roused him from his slumber, from where everything was soft and cool, to where everything hurt. His eyes flickered open, to see a man (boy?) with bluish hair perched on the edge of his bed. Seeing him awake, the man/boy smiled gently.

"Wh-" Seungmin started, leaning over to cough, pain radiating through his body, "Who are you?" The boy leaned forwards, reaching over to brush the hair from Seungmin's face. A sad smile rested on his face.

"I'm Jisung." Seungmin shivered, Jisung's hands were freezing. And something screamed at him that the boy wasn't normal. After all, he had no clue who he was, and Jisung was just resting on his bed in a faded pair of jeans and a t shirt. He was in no way, a doctor.

He lay back, staring at the boy in front of him, as he sat on what Seungmin supposed were his legs. He couldn't feel Jisung's weight though.

"... Seungmin," He slowly murmured, watching as the boy in front of him nodded, "Why are you in here Jisung?"

Jisung looked startled, until he little out a shaky giggle.

"I was, uh, passing by. You reminded me of someone." Jisung mumbled, twining his fingers together. Something in his voice reminded Seungmin of another time, another place. A boy with a pretty smile and black hair ran through his memories.

"So, you just decided to come into a stranger's room and wake me up?" Jisung nodded again.

"Sorry."

He was allowed to see his sister, for the first time in a while. And while his legs still weren't strong enough to hold up his weight, he was grateful for the chance to escape his room. Two weeks had passed since he'd first been admitted, and Jisung had come to visit him everyday. It made the persistent white bearable.

The only problem being, whenever he asked about Jisung, or described him, the staff looked at him like he was insane. To say Seungmin was confused was an understatement.

But that all drained out of his mind, as he talked to his sister, a smile gracing his lips as he relaxed in his chair.

"I told you we'd be out fine." She whispered, as Seungmin merely nodded, leaning back with a yawn.

"Why'd I ever doubt you?" He replied gently, turning his head slightly as a flash of red appeared in his vision. A young man, about the same age as Jisung, with fiery hair and freckles splashed across his face. It was odd, as his sister should've told him if someone had entered.

But the boy said nothing other than to watch Seungmin, with a knowing expression on his face. So Seungmin said nothing about it. But as the visit drew to a close, he could see the boy get restless and pace around.

"Thank you, once again." He smiled, waving a good bye to his sister as he started leaving the room. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the boy jump, and start following him. Seungmin swallowed sharply, focusing on where he was going. At least until a deeper than expected voice caught him off guard.

"You're about to miss your turn." Seungmin tensed, looking around until he spotted the freckled boy and took a deep breath. A peal of laughter tumbled out of the other's lips as he pointed down the hallway, he was about to miss.

Nervousness pricked at Seungmin as he turned down the hallway, retracing his path into his room. No one they passed seemed to notice the presence behind him. It worried him, as he gnawed at his lip.

He turned into his room.

"Now that we're safe and back in your room, can you drop the whole, ignoring me thing? I know you can see and hear me." Seungmin's head twisted in the direction of the freckled boy, who crossed to perch on the bed.

"You're saying that like no one else can." He muttered, pushing himself over to the bed and clambering in. A cool hand helped pull him on, and he shivered, before the hand quickly retracted.

"Because they can't. I would know, I walked into you four times when you were here to visit Hyunjin." Seungmin's breath caught, tears threatening to fall from his eyes. Hyunjin hadn't died that long ago, and the pain of losing his best friend was still fresh. The boys eyes widened, and he cursed, muttering something in a language that Seungmin recognised as English, but with the strange lilt of an accent he didn't recognise.

"Sorry, he said you'd be like that." He mumbled quietly, reaching over and patting Seungmin's head. He shivered and the boy retracted his hand.

"Who are you? We, we didn't know any one who looked like you." Seungmin whispered, only for the boy to smile.

"Oh, uh, right. I'm, uh, Felix, Lee Felix." Seungmin stared blanky.

"You're a forgiener. Why is a forgiener like you in the middle of South Korea in my hospital room?" Felix fidgeted, raising a hand and placing two fingers to his neck, almost without thinking.

"I have no where else to go, can't get back home. Chan has the same problem." He looked away from Seungmin, and his questions.

"Why not? Korea isn't forcing you to stay."

"Because, we're dead."

Seungmin had to have been sedated. That's the only way they would've calmed him down. After Felix had decided to say 'they're dead', he'd screamed and kicked at him. The way he screamed at the doctor's to get Felix out, to keep Jisung out. He shuddered, slightly and flickered his eyes open.

And stared at the boy in ripped jeans in front of him.

The boy in ripped jeans, which he'd bought as a gift.

A gift for Hyunjin to be precise. Back when his sickness hadn't left him bed ridden for the last time.

"Hyun-Jin-ie?" He breathed out slowly, sucking in a breathe as the currently sleeping boy stirred, blinking at him groggily. The boy looked healthy, in death. The pallor, his cheeks had held during the last days, replaced by the rosy colour of before.

And he smiled, and gods had Seungmin missed his best friend.

"Been a while, hasn't it." And that was all it took before Seungmin was in tears, and clinging to Hyunjin. His body was cold, colder than he remembers, cold like Jisung's or Felix's hands.

"Then Felix wasn't... He's really? You're really..." Hyunjin held him as Seungmin cried, running his fingers through the younger's hair.

"He wasn't lying. He's really dead. There's... A lot of us actually." He let go of Seungmin to retreat a bit onto the bed, pulling his legs up and wrapping his arms around them, "We don't really have anywhere to go either, whatever guards the afterlife won't let us pass. Not for lack of trying."

Seungmin nodded, raising his hands to wipe his eyes dry.

"Can I meet them all?" He asked, cautiously, watching Hyunjin for a reaction. The boy paused, before nodding with a smile.

"I used to see them, before Y'know. When we were little and you came to visit me in the hospital when I got really sick. I grew up talking to them." Seungmin's eyes widened in a grim sort of realisation.

"Around me?" He asked quietly, to which Hyunjin nodded gently. Seungmin nodded again, opening his arms up, in a quiet question for a hug.

The next few days past in relative slowness for him, the only really exciting thing being walking back into his room to see Hyunjin hanging upside down over Felix, the pair talking excitedly. Felix made sure to poke fun at him, over that, after wards.

Other than that, he'd found out he was to be discharged in the next couple days. And that Hyunjin was finally going to introduce him to the other ghosts. When he'd told Hyunjin about the discharge though, the ghost had shrugged.

"I'll just come home with you then." The ghost had commented, laughing and reaching over running his cold hands through Seungmin's hair.

"And leave what was practically your second home?" Seungmin had asked back, a teasing grin on his face.

He thought back on the conversation, as he wandered along the halls. He was coming back from his sister's room. Apparently there were more complications with her than the doctor's had originally thought, so she was staying for monitoring. Hyunjin had offered his condolences at that.

To say Seungmin was a tad stressed was an understatement. Which is why he walked into his room, filled with more people than he was ever comfortable around and, took the deepest breath he could muster.

Around the room he could see Felix's firey hair, and Jisung's blue. But other than that,

A young man with pink hair rested on Seungmin's bed, a slim boy resting next to him. The man had the boy wrapped at a hug, watching as Seungmin walked in with a knowing smile. Another, darker haired than most of them and a harsh look on his face, stood near Felix and Jisung, staring straight at the human with suspicion.

Another young man, was seated in the chair that Hyunjin had been sitting in when he'd woken up, apparently just waking up himself. He brushed his hands tiredly through his brown hair, glancing at Seungmin, before looking at the last man in the room, and pouting.

"Took him long enough." And just like that, Hyunjin was at his side, leading him to the bed. The pink haired man smiled lightly, moving himself closer to the boy he was hugging and patting the bed next to him.

"I don't bite. None of us do, mostly. I'm not sure about Minho or Felix." He had the same accent as Felix, Seungmin noted, only a lot less prominent in his Korean. The sleeping guy groaned, flipping a rude gesture the Pink haired man's way.

"I.. Wasn't expecting all of you at once." The boy in the man's arms giggled slightly.

"I was the same." He smiled, gently, showing braces and held a hand over the pink haired man to Seungmin. His hand was warm when Seungmin grabbed it, a pleasant surprise compared to the cold of everyone else.

"I'm Jeongin. This is Chan," The pink haired man dipped his head gently, watching Seungmin with that knowing expression still, "The guy in the chair is Minho, and Woojin's next to him." Seungmin nodded, waving at both and then glancing at the man glaring at him.

"Oh, that's Changbin. He's a sweetheart, promise." Woojin murmured quietly, coming to sit next to Seungmin. The boy nodded numbly, taking in the various ghosts around him. And the one apparently human.

"I thought I was going to be meeting only ghosts, to be honest." He mumbled quietly. Jeongin laughed gently.

"I find that funny, did the same thing when I met Hyunjin." Seungmin heard Hyunjin laugh quietly at Jeongin's words, and felt the cold of his body as the ghost leaned into him. He frowned, slightly looking down at his lap.

"This whole situation is like some kind of bad joke. Seven undead and two living walk into a hospital room or something." Felix noted drily, and receiving a punch in the ribs from Jisung.

"Can, I ask something?" Seungmin asked quietly, now that he had more confidence. Now that he knew that Jisung and Felix were just as goofy around the other ghosts as they were around him. Chan tilted his head slightly, raising an eyebrow and he took a deep breath.

"Hyunjin told me, that you could go anywhere you wanted. But, you're all here. Why?" Chan smiled bitterly at the question, hand stroking Jeongin's hair gently.

"Depends. Most of us have something stopping us. Me, Felix and Jisung, our parents are all overseas. Or kilometres away. Hyunjin, he's got no where to go that people will see him. The others could honestly leave if they wanted." Chan said, as he looked at Seungmin. Minho snorted once, sitting straight in his chair.

"Could leave if he wanted, Chan says. Yea, well that'd leave you all with several less braincells. And you all need all the brain cells you can get." He grunted quietly. Seungmin just nodded to himself.

"I'd offer for you to come with me when I leave, but... I don't have room a home for seven ghosts. And Jeongin." The youngest snorted, a grin gracing his features.

"Bold of you to assume I don't have my own home. But..." He frowned thoughtfully.

"Seungmin, d'you have a phone number I can grab?" The sudden question had Seungmin jolting as he scrambled to write down his number somewhere.

"You know, Maybe, you can take half of these lot with you, when you leave. And, I'll take the other half." Jeongin commented quietly as he watched, earning a shocked expression from Changbin. The boy giggled at the ghost, leaning into Chan with a slight smile.

"I-I... Probably?"  Seungmin babbled out quickly, earning another giggle from Jeongin.

Felix lazily drifted around the room, watching Seungmin with a slight frown. The human ignored the ghost, focusing on his study.

"Are we actually doing anything at all today, Seungmin?" He eventually asked, coming to stand on the desk in front of him, then dropping into a crouch, "Because I could be at Jeonginnie's with the others right now otherwise." Seungmin shorted at him, blowing a breath at the ghost. A month and a half of living with them and he still didn't understand how they alternated between weightlessness and existing so quickly.

"No one's stopping you from going anyway, Felix." He replied, pushing the other off his textbook and turning the page, "Besides, I have study to do right now."

"You always do." Seungmin looked up at the ghost, a frown passing over his features for a moment. Before he shrugged.

"And?"

"And that means, you never get out you twat." Felix leaned over him to flick his forehead with those cold hands. Seungmin groaned in annoyance. Why couldn't Hyunjin be the one to have stayed?

"Ugh, fine. I'll go out to Jeongin's. You owe me man." He pushed himself away from his desk, stretching and standing with a yawn. Felix cheered loudly. The first few times that had happened, Seungmin had gone to shush him, before realising (read being told multiple times by Chan) that no one else in this house could hear Felix so what did it matter if he were the loudest thing alive? Er, dead.

Either way, it didn't matter.

Seungmin snorted at the thought, reaching over to grave a coat and pulling it on.

"I'll let mum know I'm going out, meet you outside?" He stopped referring to his mother as 'my mum' early on, watching as the various ghosts that came over reacted to it in unexpected ways. Felix, for instance, grew dejected as it made him think of his mum, back in Australia or something. It was just easier to refer to her as all of thier's now. Gods knew they appreciated it.

"A'ight." Felix noted, disappearing out of the room quickly, and leaving Seungmin to follow calling out what was happening to his mother. He heard her chuckle wishing him a good time as he sprinted out the door, to catch up to Felix.

"Hyung." He hissed, reaching out a finger to hook into his shirt, "Wait you dumb ass." Felix paused, letting himself get caught by the human, before linking his hand with him as he caught up.

"I waited Seungmin. Now hurry, we're already late!" Seungmin snorted, jogging forwards towards Jeongin's home.

"Sorry that I'm a responsible student, unlike you."

Felix rolled his eyes, staring into space in a way that Seungmin could only compare to that American show, what was it called? Ah that's right, The Office. Clearly, the other male didn't see what was so funny about Seungmin's joke. Not that it'd been much of a joke but still.

"Very funny Kim. Now hurry up, before I set Jeongin and Chan Hyung on you." Seungmin sighed, looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm going alright. Cut a guy some slack." Felix rolled his eyes, and pushed his hands into his pockets.

This had been happening a lot recently, Seungmin had noticed. Where he'd just, close off and shut everyone save Jeongin out. And even then, he still did that sometimes. It wasn't his place to argue against, but he wouldn't deny he was worried about Felix. Hell, he couldn't even imagine what it must be like to not know anyone in a country you lived in, let alone struggle with an unfamiliar language everyday.

And to do all that while dead?

Seungmin frowned.

[trashyocstash]

okay, here it is! the fic where rick helps julie to stop being so scared of halloween. i’m glad i got this out in time. now to start working on the “rick is a good dad au” fic...which i’m scared is gonna be really long..

Julie gazed out the window, the fact it was autumn now was pretty evident, with the different coloured leaves on the trees and the clouds in the air. She could also feel a slight cold breeze on her skin. Normally, she didn’t mind the season too much, but if there was one thing she dreaded, it was Halloween, and now that it was October, Julie was less than thrilled.

A finger poked her shoulder, and she turned behind her to see her boyfriend Rick with a big smile on his face. “Since it’s almost Halloween and all, I went looking to see if you had Halloween decorations, but I didn’t see anything. You think we should go buy some?”

Julie didn’t appear to be very happy with this suggestion, which Rick took notice of. “What’s the matter Julie?” He asked.

She sighed. “I...I don’t really like Halloween very much..”

Rick was surprised by this. “W-Why not?”

“It’s just...I don’t like scary things very much, and I get scared easily..and this is a holiday where you’re supposed to scare people...it’s not very fun..” Julie admitted.

“Aw Gingersnap...there’s more to Halloween than just scaring people! There’s carving pumpkins, candy, parties-”

“But I hate parties! Crowds stress me out too much..”

Rick chuckled. “Don’t worry about it, I can help you conquer your fears. Besides, you’ve faced danger before on our adventures, and you’re not gonna run into anything scarier than me.”

Julie was touched that he wanted to help her, but was still a bit hesitant about the idea. She knew he had a point about the fact she'd faced danger alongside him, but she wasn't sure how to feel about the whole “you're not gonna run into anything scarier than me” thing. Still...she did see the sincerity in his eyes, and Rick was always trying to help her become more confident and assertive, perhaps this would be a good thing for her.

“Well...okay then..” She agreed.

“Yes!” Rick cheered. “Now come on, I have some great ideas of things we can do together. We should go buy some Halloween decorations, and maybe you could make some Halloween-themed food. How does that sound?”

Julie did have to admit, it sounded nice. “Sounds...sounds good. I could get some coloured frosting, like in orange and black colours, and maybe find some nice toppings-”

“Like candy eyes or fake knives and axes with bl-blood on them, or a cartoony ghost!” He suggested excitedly.

She giggled softly, it was really nice to see how enthusiastic he was. “We can get whatever you want.”

“Except spiders of course.”

“Yeah..” Julie muttered nervously.

Julie had a fear of spiders, and wasn't fond of bugs in general. She didn't like the way they felt crawling on her, or just seeing one in her house out of the blue. She'd never been stung by a bee or anything similar before, but noticed they always tended to come close to her, which didn't ease her fears at all. One time on an adventure, she and Rick came across a giant spider, and she had hid behind him in fear, not exactly the most pleasant memory.

“I have another idea,” Rick mentioned. “What about we get matching costumes too?”

“Oh that would be wonderful!” Julie exclaimed.

“And then we can go get a pumpkin and carve it into a Jack-o-Lantern too!”

She giggled, and agreed with that idea as well. After all, she did have to admit that carving pumpkins and wearing matching costumes did sound fun. All of his ideas weren't really that bad, and though Julie still felt hesitant, she did care far more about his feelings above her own.

------------

The couple headed off together to a supermarket, where they intended to buy the stuff they were looking for, except for the pumpkin, Rick decided they could find a good one off-planet.

As they walked in the store, Rick asked Julie something he was curious about. “So, did you ever even go trick-or-treating as a kid or w-what?”

“Don't worry, I did.” She told him reassuringly. “I loved the whole dressing up aspect of it, I used to dress up like a princess all the time.”

“Julie, you don't need to dress up as a princess, you are a princess, my princess.” He winked.

Julie blushed at his flirting and smiled shyly. “Oh Rick...well..I guess if I'm your princess, then you're my prince charming.” She then gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

“Heh...speaking of dressing up...what do you think we should dress up as?” Rick asked as he picked up a bottle of orange icing and inspected it.

“Hmm..” Julie thought for a moment. “Maybe we can go as an angel and demon? With me as the angel and you as the demon?”

“Oh I like that.” Rick agreed as he put the bottle of icing down in the cart. “Or maybe I could dress up in even more stereotypical mad scientist get-up and you can dress up an outfit inspired by Frankenstein’s monster?”

“Thats sounds really good too! But what should we go with?” She asked.

“I got an id-idea.” Rick pulled out a coin from his pocket. “Heads for the angel and demon costumes, tails for my i-idea.”

“Alright..”

He flipped the coin and quickly caught it. “Heads.”

“Maybe we can go as your idea next year?”

“Sounds good.” He grinned. “I bet you’ll look beautiful in your angel costume..I mean..not that you already aren’t but..”

She giggled. “It’s fine. Come on, let’s keep looking for the stuff we need to get.”

“I already got some orange icing.” He said, pointing to the cart.

Julie nodded. “Great! Now we just need..” She looked at the shopping list she’d brought with her. “A lot more stuff..”

He chuckled. “Don’t worry, we’ll get everything we need.” Rick then gave her a reassuring pat on her shoulder, making her smile at him.

The two continued their shopping together, getting everything they needed in no time. They got different coloured icing, sprinkles, some Halloween-themed toppings and things to put cookies in a ghost shape and a pumpkin shape. When it came time to get decorations, Rick, even though he really wanted to, didn't get any scary decorations for Julie's sake; she appreciated it. They then went to the aisle with costumes, where they both found what they were looking for. Julie got a pair of angel wings and a halo, but decided to buy a pretty white lace dress to complete the outfit. Rick just got horns, a tail, some fake sharp teeth and a pitch fork.

------------

Finally, they returned home, and Julie set the bags down. Rick gave her a wide grin. “I wanna put the decorations up right now.”

She smiled at him. “Go ahead.”

Rick excitedly took out the decorations from the bags, and Julie watched as he began placing them around the house. She didn't really care where he put them, she just wanted to see him happy. When he was done, a few decorations still remained.

“I'll be bringing these over to my place.” He let her know. “Hope the ones here make you feel better about Halloween.”

Julie realised that she'd completely forgotten her fear of Halloween. She knew that it was his presence that had helped her, his enthusiasm for the holiday had eased her fears and made her forget. In all honesty, she was glad about this. Julie felt happy she could enjoy something that he loved just as much as he did. She hated when he seemed upset about her dislike for Halloween, but maybe she wouldn't have to deal with that anymore.

“Me too..” She agreed, and kissed him gently.

Rick returned the kiss, and afterwards, gave her a gentle look as his hands held onto her face. “You feel better about Halloween already my princess?”

“I think so...just a little bit..”

“Why don't we bake those cookies together? Maybe it will help.” He suggested.

“I hope so. At the very least, I know it'll be a lot of fun. There's never a dull moment with you around..” Julie blushed.

Rick snickered and kissed her again. “Let's get to it then.”

The two got to work, happily baking the cookies together. While Julie actually made them, Rick decorated them, covering them with icing and sprinkles, which made her laugh. While the cookies baked in the oven, Rick quickly left to get a pumpkin on another planet, and came back with one that glowed green, They worked together to carve it into a Jack-o-Lantern, and all the while, Julie felt even more comfortable with Halloween than before. She knew that once again, it was all because of him.

When the cookies were finished, Julie set them down on a plate, and Rick quickly grabbed one.

“Don’t eat too many,” She advised. “I want to bring these over to the Halloween party at Mark’s apartment.”

He sighed. “What, is it just gonna be you, him and Vivian? And I-I-I thought you hated parties.”

She shook her head. “You’ll be there too...and ah...Mark’s..other friends..and I do hate big, crowded parties, but as I said, it's just us and some friends..not too many people..”

“What other friends?” Rick asked, raising a side of his brow.

“Mark is...a hippie, and he knows other hippies too...he’s sort of established a friend group with them..” She explained.

Rick facepalmed. “Ugh..as long as I get to be as far away from them as possible...I’ll go..”

She laughed. “Don’t worry about it. I’m sure Mark will understand…”

“If you say so..” He grunted.

----------------

“So..do you actually feel better about Halloween now?” Rick asked as he put on his devil horns.

“I...I do..” Julie admitted from another room. She was getting changed, and wanted to see how Rick would react to seeing her in her angel costume. It was Halloween now, and tonight was the night of the party of course, so now it was time to get ready.

“Really?” Rick was a little surprised, but also grateful. “That’s great!”

Julie smiled. “Yeah...it is..”

“You almost done in there?” He wondered, while he put on the tail.

“Yep...in just a...ah! There we go! I’m ready!”

Julie opened the door and Rick’s jaw dropped at the sight of her. The white dress she was wearing was long and flowing, with a sweetheart neckline. The bottom of the dress had lace on it, as well as the neckline, and the bottom half also had a transparent overlay with a flower pattern on it. Julie had a pair of white gloves on as well, along with the fake wings and halo.

“I...I-I...uh..” He stammered.

Julie giggled softly. “Come on, let’s go.”

“Right...o-of course..” Rick agreed, shoving the fake sharp teeth in his mouth and picking up the pitchfork.

Before they left, Julie brought the cookies, and filled a bowl with candy and set it on the front porch. “For the trick-or-treaters.” She explained.

“You actually get any?’’ He chuckled.

“Sometimes...but it's better to keep it out regardless right?” She replied.

“Yep. Now come on, we better get going.”

------------

When they arrived, Julie and Rick were greeted by Mark, who was dressed like Luke Skywalker, and Vivian, who was dressed as Morticia Addams.

“You came!” Mark exclaimed excitedly. “And you and Rick are in matching costumes too! An angel and a devil..pretty neat!”

Vivian sighed. “Mark and I were supposed to do the same thing, but he really wanted to be Luke Skywalker, and I wanted to be Morticia..and he didn't want to be Gomez and ugh..”

Julie laughed. “Don't worry, I'm sure you two will have some great matching costumes next year!”

“If you say so..” Vivian mumbled.

“Look what I brought!” Julie beamed, and showed them the cookies.

Mark immediately grabbed them and placed them on the table. “You always make the best food, you know that?”

Before Julie could respond, Rick took her hand and they walked inside. There, they could spot Mark's other friends..who were all in costume too. One was dressed as Superman, another as a werewolf, and the last one as a vampire.

“Sup.” The one dressed as Superman greeted. “Sweet costumes dude, especially the chick..”

“Back off.” Rick snarled possessively.

“Take it easy man! I was just uh..”

“Hitting on my girl. Like I said, back off.”

“Why don't we go eat some food?” Julie suggested as she grabbed onto Rick's arm, hoping to stop this from escalating further.

“Sure..” Rick grumbled. When he started walking away with Julie, he made sure to give the guy a death stare, which kept him quiet around Julie the rest of the night.

Julie had always avoided Mark’s parties in the past due to her fear of Halloween, but thanks to Rick, she could now finally be at one, and she had to admit, it was a lot of fun. She was so grateful and happy, and it showed how much of a positive influence he had on her.

------------------

When they returned home from the party, Rick gave Julie a kiss and grinned at her. “So...how do you feel about Halloween now?”

“Well..I feel a lot better about it now..” She told him. “..Thanks to you..” She then kissed him back. “Thank you so much for helping me Lemon..”

“N-No problem, my princess.”

[cutsliceddiced]

New top story from Time: A New Wave of Horror Films About Women’s Deepest Anxieties Is Perfect Viewing for Our Summer of Discontent

Even if most horror movies, until fairly recently, have been made by men, women are still central to their impact and meaning. What would King Kong have been without his tiny captive inamorata Fay Wray, or Frankenstein without Elsa Lanchester, his bewigged, wild-eyed bride? Sometimes women represent fragility and innocence in horror movies, symbols of purity worth saving; other times they’re sympathetic companions or spokespeople for misunderstood monsters.

But their allure goes further and deeper than that—especially when it’s women who are doing the looking. Today, the term “the male gaze” is thrown around more loosely than its originator, filmmaker and film theorist Laura Mulvey, intended. Even when there’s a man behind the camera, the lens doesn’t always simply cater to man’s desires. Women love watching other women; we identify, we admire, and sometimes we feel a frisson (or more) of desire. Other times we recoil, though that may only intensify our fascination. So what happens when women filmmakers take control of the horror genre themselves?

Women filmmakers have been making horror movies since, well, the beginning of movies—Alice Guy-Blaché and Lois Weber contributed to the genre early on. But what’s notable now is the growing number of women filmmakers who are exploring expectations and anxieties specific to womanhood, as well as the mysteries of female erotic power. In the past two months alone we’ve seen a raft of horror movies made by women—Natalie Erika James’ Relic, Romola Garai’s Amulet, Josephine Decker’s Shirley and Amy Seimetz’s She Dies Tomorrow—that are keyed in to women’s experiences in canny, unnerving ways. To define all of these films as horror, in the classic sense of the word, is admittedly a slight stretch: some are more strictly psychological than supernatural, less studies of things that go bump in the night than maps of the turmoil in our heads. But even that is a reflection of what horror, seen through women’s eyes, can mean: the things that scare women the most are already inside them. For years, male filmmakers have been concocting outlandish scenarios for us, while we’ve been storing up material for centuries.

Rob Baker AshtonImelda Staunton and carla Juri in ‘Amulet’

Horror movies made by women and specifically addressing women’s anxieties or hyperreal strengths aren’t new—Karyn Kusuma’s Jennifer’s Body (2009), Ana Lily Amirpour’s A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night (2014) and Jennifer Kent’s The Babadook (also 2014) are just three noteworthy examples from the past decade or so—though it’s still surprising there haven’t been more of them. No one could have foreseen that the summer of 2020, a mini-epoch during which many of us have been confined largely to our homes, unable to socialize in the usual ways and freer than usual to nurture our own personal neuroses, would provide the perfect soil and weather conditions for a new wave of horror movies made by women to flower so fully. Some of the current crop are more effective than others, but all share one trait: They’re about vulnerability but not necessarily victimization. Most of the women in these movies aren’t heroic in the superhero sense, but they’re also not the girl who needs to be saved.

Amulet, the directorial debut from actor Romola Garai (who also wrote the script), may be the most technically ambitious of these films, and through the first two-thirds, at least, it’s jaggedly compelling. An ex-soldier from Eastern Europe, Tomas (Alec Secareanu), has taken refuge in London, working odd jobs and sleeping in a flophouse. A nun with a seemingly generous spirit (Imelda Staunton) finds a place for him to live, in a decrepit house inhabited by a young woman, Magda (Carla Juri). Magda’s ailing mother is kept locked in an upstairs room—it’s dutiful Magda’s job to tend to her day and night, and the responsibility is wearing her down.

Garai layers the plot with so many feverish ideas and images that you wonder how, in the end, it’s going to come together. There’s a woman who can’t escape horrific memories of wartime rape. And Tomas, who seems to have fallen under the spell of a strange little goddess statue he’s dug out of the earth, needs to come to terms with his inflated view of himself as a protector of women, when his own interests are clearly all that matter. For him, the house itself appears to be a moist, sticky trap: It’s at first a place he doesn’t want to be, though it soon becomes one he can’t leave. Magda, meanwhile, appears to be the trapped innocent, the woman who needs saving; she’s also a fabulous cook—but what, exactly, is she serving up? Garai has some grim fun with notions of what men expect women to be vs. who they really are. The movie is marred by a confusing coda that only muddies its already too-vague ending, but it does feature one enduring image: a squirmy, newborn bat-looking thing that emerges from a womb with all its teeth. If that’s not a childbirth-anxiety metaphor, I’m not sure what is.

Sometimes the scariest things we give birth to aren’t, at least literally, living things. In Shirley, directed by Josephine Decker and based on a novel by Susan Scarff Merrell, Elisabeth Moss plays a fictionalized version of Shirley Jackson, the author of one of the most elegantly chilling ghost novels of the 20th century, The Haunting of Hillhouse, as well as the “The Lottery,” a whoppingly effective short story that was for years a nightmare-inducing staple of junior-high literature classes. In Shirley, Moss’ Jackson is the wife of a seemingly jovial Bennington academic (Michael Stuhlbarg) who actually exerts brutish control over her. He invites two young newlyweds, Rose and Fred (Odessa Young and Logan Lerman) to move into their comfortably ramshackle Vermont home, but really, he’s just looking for cheap labor: Shirley, neurotic almost to the point of being incapacitated, is incapable not just of keeping house but of performing basic tasks, like getting dressed for the day.

Thatcher Keats—© 2018 Thatcher KeatsMichael Stuhlbarg and Elisabeth Moss in ‘Shirley’

Shirley is controlling and manipulative in her own way, but she’s also deeply charismatic. She has a knowledge of witchcraft and folklore, and an affinity for the Tarot. But most of all, she’s blazingly intelligent, and Rose, who has had to put her own studies on hold with the birth of her first child, is drawn to her. Shirley’s lack of suitability for the real world—she’s treated as an oddity and a pariah by her husband’s university friends—means she lives in a world of her own, one in which she drinks too much and stays in bed too long, unable to move and, worse, unable to write. When she confronts a blank page, she’s really staring down a demon. She’s so difficult, in her husband’s eyes, that he’s taken up with the ostensibly more attractive wife of a fellow academic—so her sexual power has been diminished too. Shirley isn’t a horror movie in the conventional sense, but it’s a picture that stirs up the murk of so many women’s fears: If I can’t create something of worth, does that mean I too am worthless? If I have a child, what part of myself do I lose—and how do I ever get it back? This movie has a strange, heady earthiness, like an alluring perfume sourced from an enchanted, and somewhat treacherous, forest.

If the season’s most memorable horror movies have been made by women, that’s not to say men aren’t capable or interested in shaping horror scenarios from a woman’s point of view. In Leigh Wannell’s The Invisible Man, released in February, Moss played a woman stalked by the controlling boyfriend—cloaked by an invisibility suit—she’d thought dead. And Janelle Monáe stars in Gerard Bush and Christopher Renz’s upcoming Antebellum, playing a successful modern-day writer who suddenly finds herself living a very different life, in what looks like the pre-Civil War south. Never underestimate the power of the sympathetic imagination, and remember that women are free to explore the dimensions of men’s inner lives, too.

But even though men must feel just as much stress as women do when it comes to doing right by an elderly parent, I’m not sure a man could have made Relic. Emily Mortimer and Bella Heathcote play Kay and Sam, a mother and daughter who drive out to Kay’s mother’s house, way out in the country, when they learn that she hasn’t been seen for days. They let themselves in and poke around her things, tidying up and taking stock of all the placemarkers we use to track exactly where our parents are at as they age. There’s some shriveled fruit stacked in a bowl; little Post-It reminders (“Turn off the stove,” “Switch off the light”) abound, most of them exactly the sort of thing that a person whose memory is failing might write to herself. But among them is one that reads, “Don’t follow it”—a suggestion that she’s being stalked by something, as opposed to someone.

The next morning, Kay’s mother—and Sam’s grandmother—appears in the kitchen, as if she had never gone missing. But something is clearly wrong. Edna, played by Australian actor Robyn Nevin, is herself—yet not herself. One minute her eyes are dancing with warmth; the next they’ve gone cold, as if her own family members have suddenly become hostile strangers. She gives Sam, who’s always adored her, a ring, only to later angrily accuse her of stealing it. Kay, who’s filled with mostly unspecified guilt—does a daughter’s guilt ever have to be specified?—recognizes that she hasn’t been in touch with her mother as often as she should have been. She also thinks it’s time she found a safer place for Edna to live. She visits a nursing home, where the manager says with businesslike cheerfulness, “Think of it as independent living with the edges taken off.” It’s the most chilling line in the movie.

Courtesy of IFC MidnightEmily Mortimer in ‘Relic’

Director Natalie Erika James—who co-wrote the script with Christian White—uses horror-palette colors to explore tensions endemic to mothers and daughters, both between Edna and Kay and between Kay and Sam. Tempers flare over the smallest things; at one point or another, each of the three bristles when she senses another is telling her what to do. There’s nothing supernatural about any of that. But something is happening to Edna—she’s changing in ways that alarm Kay and Sam. Anyone who has watched a parent age—who has seen the number of selves one person can inhabit in a lifetime, moving from one stage to another in a gentle gradient spanning decades—will recognize Kay’s anguish. Relic’s ending is an embrace of terror and tenderness. So many horror filmmakers start out with great ideas and don’t know how to wrap them up. James caps off her debut feature with a quietly intense operatic flourish that feels earned.

If our imaginations are capable of conjuring great horrors as well as wonder, here’s a question: Can we pass our most acute fears, virus-style, on to others? In her shivery, evocative and sometimes surprisingly funny existential thriller She Dies Tomorrow, writer-director Amy Seimetz burrows deep into some of our dumbest 3 a.m. fears and wonders aloud, What if they’re not so dumb? Kate Lyn Sheil plays Amy, a young woman who, as she’s moving into the house she’s just bought, becomes seized with a fear she can’t explain: She’s certain she’s going to die the next day. In a panic, she calls her closest friend, Jane (Jane Adams), begging her to come over. When Jane finally shows up, she tries to talk sense into her friend—only to return home, get into her PJs, and suddenly feel paralyzed by the same fear. When Jane confesses her anxiety to others—to her brother (Chris Messina), to the doctor to whom she goes for treatment (Josh Lucas)—they too downplay her distress, only to find themselves captive to the same debilitating panic minutes later. The whole movie is like a game of telephone in which an urgent message is passed along from one player to another, fuzzy at first before emerging into disquieting clarity.

Courtesy of NeonKate Lyn Sheil in Amy Seimetz’s ‘She Dies Tomorrow’

She Dies Tomorrow takes place in a world much like the one we’re living in right now, one that feels untrustworthy, not fully readable. It’s also a place where we might feel regret about some things we are capable of controlling: at one point, Amy tells a guy who appears to be a fairly new lover (Kentucker Audley) that she once ended a pregnancy. His face clouds over as she elaborates; the information seems to trouble him more than it does her, even though she’s the one who will carry the knowledge of the act forever. She notes that her life would be so different if she’d kept the child; she probably wouldn’t have been able to buy this house. Her practicality is the opposite of coldness—she knows the cost of her choice, because it lives inside her every day.

And what if it’s not the greater world but ourselves we can’t trust? Our certainty that we’ll have a tomorrow amounts not to everyday optimism but to a kind of arrogance—though we probably need that self-reassurance to survive. This is less a movie about death than one concerned with how we go through life without giving too much thought about its stopping, though that’s a certainty for all of us. Even when we think we’re thinking about death, we don’t really know what to think: No one trustworthy has yet returned from the other side to tell us what it’s all about. She Dies Tomorrow is all about the unreclaimable yesterday, the day before we knew. It’s a thoughtful movie with no jump scares; its jitters are baked all the way through.

Fear of death isn’t specific to women, obviously—the male characters in Seimetz’s movie are susceptible to it too. But maybe, given women’s often complex relationship with aging—which includes the fear of losing sexual allure—our fear of death has a slightly different tenor from the way men experience it. In Shirley, the aging, matronly protagonist is not only unable to write, which is her chief measure of her own self-worth; her husband has also taken up with a supposedly superior woman—and isn’t the moment we lose faith in our own magnetism itself a small death? Watching our parents age, as Kay does in Relic, is the ultimate reminder that we’re next; it’s also a test of our mettle when we see the traits that have calcified in our forebears begin to manifest themselves, in smaller ways, in us. In Amulet, the exhausted Magda has a different problem: she’s simply waiting for her mother to die, so she can be free. All of these movies were conceived and made before we had any sense of how a worldwide pandemic would shape and circumscribe our lives. But all, in some way, speak of constricted freedom, of carrying on with life until it decides it’s through with us. They’re about all the things we can’t protect ourselves from, what we used to call, in more innocent times, fear of the unknown. Now we know what to fear, only to realize that knowing isn’t necessarily better.

via https://cutslicedanddiced.wordpress.com/2018/01/24/how-to-prevent-food-from-going-to-waste

[rosebloodcat]

Talisman

When Arthur is four, his mother and father explain that they are different from other people.

His father, Tristan Kingsmen, is a human, with two arms, two legs, and an ever warm body. He has sandy blonde and brown hair with dark brown eyes and works as a special policeman for people who are different, like Arthur and his Mama.

His mother, Clara, is not. Clara is a Naga, with two arms, a cold body, and a long scaly tail that extends from her waist down. She has auburn hair and pretty amber eyes and her scales are the same color as her hair. She met his Daddy at work and fell in love.

Arthur is cold and has a tail too, and they tell him that is why he can't go out an play with the other kids in his neighborhood. He is too young to truly understand why, but he listens to them, and stays inside and plays with the special sitters that watch him during the day.

Arthur is six when his mother first gives him his talisman.

“You need it to live with humans,” she tells him. “Most think snakes are scary, so they don't like people like us. Understand?” He doesn't but he wears it every time he leaves the house, just like she told him to. She wants him to get get in the habit of carrying it everywhere with him.

His parents intend to send him to a human school, since their education system is much more thorough and expansive than what's offered for “special” people. They want their little boy to live his life to the fullest, and to choose his future based on what he likes most, over what is simply offered to him.

It's the first time Arthur's allowed to go out and play at the park down the road, so he's happy.

When he's nine, Arthur gets his first glimpse of how mean other kids can be. Specifically the human kids.

A group of boys from his class find a little garden snake in the bushes at school, and take turns picking it up and poking at it with sticks. Only Arthur can hear it yelling for them to stop and to leave it alone. He tries to get them to stop, they don't listen to him and even start trying to pick on him for not being “tough enough” to handle a snake.

Then a group of older kids show up, hit a few of the younger boys, and kill the snake by stomping on it's head.

The boys and Arthur start crying and a teacher shows up and scolds the older boys for hitting other kids, and the younger boys for playing with the “dangerous” snake. Arthur is the only one crying for the snake that just wanted to be left alone.

The incident stays with him.

Arthur is eleven, his parents pass away.

His Uncle Lance is visiting them and is left watching Arthur when a sudden call comes in and both his parents have to leave. He's amazed by his Uncle, who works as a Mechanic. Arthur loves machines and computers, so it's easy for the two to bond.

Lance is in the middle of telling him about something funny his Dad did when they were kids, when one of his Dad's coworker's comes in, his face grim. Uncle Lance tries to keep him from hearing by sending him upstairs, but Arthur hides at the top and hears the officer tell his uncle that his mom and dad died trying to contain a group of anti-cryptid extremists when they attacked one of the hidden markets for “special people”.

It's only when Arthur bursts into tears later that evening that Lance discovers the boy had eavesdropped on the conversation. Comforting people has never been a strong suite for Lance, but for his nephew, he certainly tries. It marks the start of a long difficult period for both their lives.

With no other living family, Arthur is sent to live with his Uncle. His uncle's home town of Tempo is out in the desert, so Arthur knows his chances of being left in the cold are rather low.

At thirteen, Arthur meets and interesting boy in his middle school.

Arthur has always been shy and rather quiet, which lead to him being bullied in his new school. Part way into winter, which was much colder than Arthur had expected of a desert town, he is suffering from the kind of lethargy and chills that all Nagas have to deal with. His sluggish reactions and dulled reflexes have made him a easier target than usual, and very few people tended to stand up to bullies. Which was why he was surprised when someone from one of his classes rescued him, and chased away the kids who thought they'd “have some fun” with him.

The boy's name was Lewis Pepper (who was technically older than him by a couple months), a very tall and strong boy from his grade with a love of the color mauve and Alpacas. And a powerful dislike for bullies of any kind. The boy was very kind, helping Arthur to the nurse's office, collecting his scattered things, and reporting the bullies to the teachers. The clearest thing he remembered of the whole ordeal was that Lewis was very warm, both his manner and his body.

Later, when Lewis approached him for tutoring in math and science, Arthur instantly agreed intending to pay the other boy back for his kindness. He meets Lewis' family when he goes over after school to their restaurant, Pepper Paradiso. He quickly find that finds that he likes them. Mr. Pepper is bouncy and nice to talk to and his sweets are really good, Mrs. Pepper is scary but very kind, and Lewis' three little sisters are curious and excitable.

He surprises them all when he ends up bonding with the eldest daughter, Cayenne, after she tries to scare him by putting her pet snake on his shoulder.

It's the start of a wonderful friendship.

When Arthur is fifteen, the two join a paranormal club.

Lewis joins because he loved the supernatural. The monsters, the ghosts, the cryptids, the myths and stories, it all fascinated the purple haired boy. The sense of mystery and adventure was like a drug for him. Arthur joined for his friend, and for the technology. It amazed him how the human-made devices could detect things that even cryptids like him could miss.

Heading the club was a blue-haired girl named Vivi Yukino, she was three years older than them but she had a boundless kind of energy that made the whole club come alive. Everything about her reminds Arthur of a clear, sunny day, from her clothes to her bright smile. She draws both boys to her, her brightness and open acceptance call to Lewis, and her honest appreciation of his tech and hard work call to Arthur. Even when the other club-members leave, the three stay together.

When Vivi first introduces her dog Mystery, Arthur is nervous. He knows dogs sometimes attack snakes, and he's worried about how the canine will react to him. His worry is misplaced, and finds he enjoys the little dog's company. He can sense that there's more to Mystery than Vivi thinks and he can tell the “dog” feels the same way about him, but they come to an unspoken truce to not call each other out. Personally, Arthur thinks Mystery enjoys having someone who takes him seriously and often talks to the dog about things that worry him.

High school turns out to be a pretty good experience for Arthur.

Arthur is eighteen when Vivi suggests they form a paranormal hunting group.

Vivi has already earned her degree in Mythology, using online classes to help speed up the process. Since Lewis and Arthur still needed money to get their degrees, she suggested they take a year off to save up money and the paranormal cases would be a way for them to earn extra cash, in addition to the jobs they already had.

“And it would be something we could all do together,” She says sunnily, beaming at them. But there was no denying the hopefulness in her tone. It's all she needs to make both boys cave in and agree.

The work is more stressful than Arthur would like, but the relief and thanks of their costumers make it all worth while. Very few of the cases involve real ghosts or cryptids, but being a detective is fun and all the machines and tricks the crooks use are cool and he tends to take a moment to interrogate the culprits about how they built their tricks. He keeps an entire folder on his computer about the stuff he learns and he vows to use it for good whenever he can. Vivi approves of his plan and helps him take notes for it.

As time goes on, they all enjoy the work so much that both boys take their college classes online so they can keep working on cases. Arthur uses the money he saved from taking online classes to buy a van for the group, and paints their logo onto the side of it as a surprise for his friends. They all love it.

When Vivi and Lewis start dating the next year, all Arthur can say is “It's about time.”

Arthur is twenty when he realizes he's fallen for both his friends.

They accept all his flaws, applaud his skills, and generally make the Naga feel warm and safe and loved. But Lewis and Vivi are dating each other and humans generally don't agree with relationships involving more than two people. They've all play-flirted with each other (as close friends sometimes do), but he doesn't think either views him in that way. His heart starts to clench painfully whenever he sees the couple cuddle and kiss.

It's only made harder by the knowledge that neither are aware of what Arthur really is. Memories of how humans dislike snakes, the (false) rumors of what Nagas are really like, and the general disdain of beings that aren't human keep him silent. The only one he tells of his worry and feelings is Mystery. He doesn't even tell his uncle. He can tell the not-dog is sympathetic to him, but he can't help wishing the canine would drop his “pet” act long enough to give Arthur advice about it.

He knows they love the paranormal, but would his friends really be okay with what he was?

Arthur is twenty-one is when everything goes wrong.

His strange mix of fear and love had started to create a rift between Arthur and his friends, though only he and Mystery seem to notice.

They stop by a creepy, glowing cave that was (once-upon-a-time) a tourist attraction that Vivi heard about and go in to explore. But the next thing Arthur remembers is waking up in a hospital a week later with his arm gone, his best friend missing, his other friend unable to remember their missing member, and him suddenly suffering from an unexplainable case of cynophobia.

He hates it, the hospital is too cold and it's taking far too long for him to heal. He hates the prosthetics the doctors have shown him. They're all too clunky and awkward and why hasn't anyone used the cool tech he's seen during their cases to make something better yet? He starts making plans for a better limb, and the doctor are excited by what he shows them and say that if it works they'll help him get grants for the limbs.

Vivi's memory worries him, because it's like someone went through her head and systematically removed every memory that related to Lewis. She's mostly okay, and the memory loss doesn't seem to've changed her, but he still worries.

His fear of Mystery hurts, because the not-dog had become his confident and comfort through the years and now he had trouble just being in the same room as the canine.

But it's Lewis' disappearance that bothers him the most. He feels terrible every time the Peppers (who had become like extended family to him) would come to visit him, and wants his friend/crush to come home. And he can't go back to the cave to look for the taller boy, because he hadn't been paying attention during the drive and couldn't remember where the cave was.

By the time he's released, Arthur's plans for the prosthetic are complete, and he's sworn to find Lewis and bring him back. Even if it takes the rest of his life.