#or of course something entirely different

[rafecameronssl4t]

Frat president || Rafe Cameron x fem!reader

Summary: Unlike Rafe, you managed to balance your responsibilities as Sorority President with your personal life and relationships, something he just couldn’t seem to get right.

Warnings: angst!!!

Word count: 1,973

A/n: first time writing frat boy!rafe lmk if you wanna see more

MASTERLIST

divider by @h-aewo

The room was dimly lit, the golden glow from the bedside lamp casting soft shadows across the bed. You and Rafe lay tangled together under the sheets, the air thick with the heat of the moment. His hand slid across your bare skin, leaving a trail of warmth wherever he touched. His lips found yours again, hungry and urgent, as though he had been waiting for this all day—between the calls, the meetings, the endless chaos that came with being the frat president.

"Missed you," he muttered against your mouth, his breath hot and heavy, his body pressing into yours. You smiled into the kiss, knowing he meant it. Rafe was always busy, always handling something, but when he was with you, it was like the world faded away. His hands cupped your face, his thumb brushing your cheek tenderly, a stark contrast to the heat of the moment.

You arched your body against his, feeling that familiar warmth between you, the kind of intimacy that only you two shared. But just as things were getting more intense, the worst sound shattered the mood—the loud buzzing of his phone vibrating against the nightstand. Rafe paused, pulling away just enough to glance at the screen. His eyes flickered with annoyance but also duty, and you knew what was coming.

"Don't," you whispered, your voice soft but pleading, fingers on his jaw to keep him focused on you. "Just a second," Rafe muttered, "it’s the guys." You groaned and sat up, wrapping the sheet around your body. "Of course it is." Rafe pressed the phone to his ear, ignoring your frustration as he answered, his tone switching from soft and intimate to authoritative. "Yeah, what's up?" His voice was commanding, the kind of tone that always came out when he dealt with frat business.

You leaned back against the pillows, pulling the sheets over your chest, watching as he got up from the bed, pacing the room like he was in some kind of frat office rather than your bedroom. You watched Rafe’s broad back as he paced across the floor, the low murmur of his voice carrying on a conversation that had nothing to do with you. Every word, every command he gave over the phone to one of his frat brothers only added to the frustration bubbling inside you.

His hand ran through his messy hair as he listened to whoever was on the other end, barking orders and sounding like a leader—like the Rafe everyone else knew. But that wasn’t the Rafe you wanted right now. "Seriously?" Rafe’s voice cut through the air, frustration dripping from his words as he dealt with yet another frat-related crisis. "No, tell him if he doesn't fix it, I'm pulling him from the party this weekend."

You sighed, rolling your eyes as you tugged the blanket tighter around you. This wasn’t how the night was supposed to go. You knew he had responsibilities, but this was supposed to be your time. His phone calls could’ve waited, just this once. But no, everything else always seemed to come first—the frat boys, the parties, the constant drama. It was like you were sharing him with the entire fraternity.

"I said, handle it. No—no, Jacob. I was clear about what you needed to do. Get it fixed, or both of you are looking at probation." Rafe’s voice was cold, sharp as a blade. He paused for a second, then scoffed bitterly. "I don’t care if he was drunk. I don’t give a damn about excuses—just get it done." Rafe snapped into the phone, his voice hard and distant, like he wasn’t the same guy who had just whispered how much he missed you.

You had felt so close to him just minutes ago, tangled in the sheets, his hands on your skin, making you forget everything. You thought tonight would be different, that for once, you could have him all to yourself. The warmth of his touch and the closeness you’d shared felt like a cruel joke now, as you sat alone on the bed, waiting while he dealt with something that wasn’t you.

You stated at the ceiling as his voice grated on your nerves. The anger was bubbling up faster now, impossible to ignore. The thought of being second to his frat boys made your heart ache, but it was more than that. It was the growing realisation that maybe, you’d always be second. Always waiting for him to put you first.

After a few more minutes of listening to Rafe handle the situation, you had enough. "Rafe," you said, your voice sharp as you interrupted him mid-sentence. He glanced over at you, his expression apologetic but still distracted. "Hang on, babe." That set you off. "No, you hang on. You’ve been on that phone for ten minutes. This was supposed to be our time. Remember?" Rafe sighed, covering the phone's speaker with his hand as he turned toward you. "I know, I’m sorry. This is important."

"And I’m not?" you shot back, feeling the sting of his divided attention. Rafe blinked, clearly caught off guard by your words. "That’s not what I’m saying." "Sure feels like it," you muttered, turning away from him as you pulled the blanket over your shoulders. You felt the weight of your words settle between you both, a heavy tension replacing the heat from earlier.

Rafe exhaled loudly, covering the phone with his hand. "Babe, I’m handling it. Just give me a second." "That’s the problem, Rafe," you snapped, the anger flaring as you sat up, the blanket falling away from you. "It’s always 'just a second' with you. Always something more important than me. I thought this time would be different."

Rafe ran a hand through his hair, clearly irritated now. "It’s not like I want to deal with this shit right now, alright? But I’m the president. If I don’t fix these fucking problems, who will?" You shook your head, hurt and anger swirling in your chest. “I get it, Rafe. I know how much responsibility comes with being a president. Believe me, I have my own duties as sorority president. But I’ve learned to separate those responsibilities from my personal life, from us. Something you clearly can’t seem to get a grip on.”

Rafe’s face flushed with frustration. “You think I don’t care about us? You think I’m choosing the frat over you?” Rafe turned fully toward you now, his phone still in his hand but on mute, his voice was a strained mix of anger and desperation. "Of course I care about you. But this is my responsibility. You knew what you were getting into when we got together." "Did I?" you shot back, your voice shaking. "Because I don’t remember signing up to be treated like an afterthought every time someone screws up at a party!"

He rolled his eyes, frustration mounting. "Okay, now you're just overreacting." "Overreacting?" you repeated, the word hanging between you like an accusation. "No, Rafe. I’m tired. Tired of always competing with your frat, tired of feeling like I’m just here when it’s convenient for you. What kind of shitty relationship is this?" He looked at you, and for a second, something flickered in his eyes. Guilt, maybe.

But just as quickly, it was gone, replaced with the same stone-cold exterior he always put up when things got too real. "What the fuck do you want me to do then?" he asked, his voice strained. "I can’t just drop everything for you every time you feel insecure about this." His words hit you like a punch to the gut, and you felt the sting behind your eyes, but you refused to let him see you cry.

"Insecure?" you repeated, your voice barely above a whisper. "That’s what you think this is? That I’m just… insecure?" "That’s not what I meant," Rafe said quickly, but the damage was done. You stared at him, your heart aching in a way that felt all too familiar now. It was always the same with him. Every time you tried to open up, to let him know how much this was hurting you, he brushed it off, made it seem like you were the problem.

You stood from the bed, grabbing your clothes from the floor and quickly pulling them on. Rafe’s eyes widened in confusion as you started dressing. "What are you doing?" he asked, stepping closer. "I’m leaving," you replied coldly, buttoning up your shirt. "I'm not doing this tonight." Rafe stood by the bed, his expression torn between irritation and confusion as he watched you. “Are you seriously leaving because of one phone call?” he asked, his voice low and almost pleading.

“Of course not, Rafe,” you said, your voice trembling with everything you’d held back for so long. “I’m leaving because I can’t keep feeling like I don’t matter to you. Not anymore.” Rafe's jaw tightened as he crossed the room, his frustration bubbling to the surface. “You know how this is, you’re a sorority president. You of all people should know how much responsibility comes with it. You can’t just walk away every time something comes up."

You paused at the door, turning to face him, anger flashing in your eyes. “Yeah, I do know. I know exactly what it’s like to balance responsibilities, Rafe. But I also know how to separate my personal life from it, something you can't ever seem to learn." Rafe stared at you, his hands clenched at his sides as he tried to find the right words. “That’s not fair,” he muttered. “You’re acting like I’m choosing this over you.”

“Aren’t you?” you shot back, your voice cold. “Every time we’re together, it’s like you’re half here, half thinking about what the guys are doing, what crisis you have to fix next. I get it, you have responsibilities, but that shouldn’t mean I have to come second all the time." His mouth opened to respond, but nothing came out. He looked at you, the guilt flickering in his eyes, but still, no words that would make a difference.

The air between you both felt thick, heavy with all the things left unsaid for far too long. "Do you even realise how many times I’ve put everything on hold for you?" Your voice cracked, the hurt finally breaking through. “How many times I’ve chosen us over my responsibilities, over everything else? I’ve never made you feel like you were second, Rafe. Not once.”

“I’m trying,” he said, his voice quieter now, like he was pleading with you to understand. “You know I am.” “Trying isn’t enough anymore.” Your heart ached as you said it, but you knew it was true. “I shouldn’t have to fight this hard just to feel like I matter to you.” Rafe’s face hardened, the guilt shifting into frustration. “So what, you just give up? Because I can’t drop everything for you in a second?”

Your laugh was bitter as you shook your head. “No, Rafe. I’m not asking you to drop everything. I’m asking you to care enough to make me feel like I’m part of your life, not just something you fit in when it’s convenient. But I guess that’s too much for you.” You turned toward the door again, your hand on the knob. This was it—the breaking point.

The moment where everything you’d been holding onto finally slipped through your fingers. “Wait.” His voice was softer now, almost desperate. You paused, just for a moment, waiting to see if he’d finally say what you needed to hear. But all you heard was the faint buzz of his phone vibrating again on in his hand. And just like that, the hope faded. Without another word, you walked out the door, not looking back.

[itneverendshere]

ex!reader who loves the game and wants to support her team but hockey captain!rafe is on the ice. he thinks she’s there for him but when she comes in with a date? and when they get put on the kiss cam? rafe slams into the glass to scare them? hate sex????

someone who lets you break them twice - hockey!toxic!rafe x ex!reader (+18)

warnings: veryyy long and 99% smut🙂‍↕️ the things i do for you...

The cold air inside the rink always made your skin tingle. Your breath curled in front of you like smoke as you moved uncomfortably on the bleachers, pulling your jacket tighter around you. This is why you hated fall. It was too cold to be outside, too early to be winter. But tonight wasn’t about the weather—it was about hockey.

Hockey and, well, the fact that you hadn’t missed a game since… well, since Rafe and you broke up.

“Everything okay?” The voice beside you pulled you back to reality.

Elijah, the guy you’d been seeing for the past couple of weeks, smiled at you, oblivious to the bullshit taking over your mind, and you gave him your best smile back.

“Yeah, just cold,” you said, trying to focus. You weren’t here for Rafe, not anymore. You loved hockey. You loved watching the boys skate across the ice, their power and grace.

Or at least that was what you kept telling yourself.

Elijah wrapped an arm around you, pulling you closer to him, and you leaned in, feeling his warmth. The game was just about to start, and the arena lights dimmed slightly, casting shadows over the rink. The roar of the crowd drowned your thoughts for a moment as the players took the ice.

And then, as if the universe was personally trying to screw with you, you saw him.

Rafe.

Of course, he looked good.

God, why did he always have to look so fucking good? His broad shoulders filling out his number 17 jersey, that stupid confident smirk as he skated out with the rest of the team. His dark blonde hair peeked out from under his helmet He was captain this year, and it made sense—he’d been working his ass off since…ever. You couldn’t think of anyone more deserving than him. 

He always had to be in charge, on and off the ice.

He still had that same cocky swagger that made you wanna scream… for entirely different reasons now.

You knew better than to be here, yet somehow you ended up courtside anyway. Probably because you’d never let him run you out of your favorite game. Not even if he was captain now. This was your team, the one you’d been coming to see since before Rafe even knew what a slapshot was.

You sank further into Elijah’s side, forcing your eyes away from your ex. But it wasn’t until you caught the dark blue of the jersey you were wearing in the corner of your eye that you realized… You’d put on Rafe’s jersey. 

His number. The one you’d always worn to support him when you were together. Out of all the team merch you owned, of course you had to wear his.

“You really like hockey a lot, huh?” Elijah asked, glancing down at your jersey.

“Yeah,” You mumbled, feeling your cheeks heat up. “I’ve been following the team for a while.”

Lies. You loved hockey, sure. But you loved Rafe a little more. Or, you used to. Or, well, maybe that was still complicated.

The puck dropped, and the game started. For a while, you tried to focus on the action. Rafe was all over the ice, playing like the goddamn superstar he thought he was. You couldn’t help but notice how his gaze kept darting up toward the stands, like he knew you were there. And maybe he did

Halfway through the second period, he slammed into an opposing player, sending him crashing into the boards. The sound echoed through the arena, and the crowd went wild, but you could feel your stomach knotting up. That had always been Rafe—intense, aggressive, unable to hold back. On the ice or off.

You tried to focus on Elijah, laughing at something he was saying, but your heart wasn’t in it. And then, just when you thought you’d survived the worst of it, the kiss cam flashed up on the big screen. Your laughter died in your throat as you realized what was happening, your face heating up instantly. You weren’t exactly embarrassed, but this was... awkward. 

“Aw, how cute,” He said, grinning as he pointed to the screen.

You followed his gaze, heart dropping. They were zooming in on the two of you. You could feel the crowd around you start to cheer and whistle as Elijah leaned in closer, clearly getting ready to kiss you.

You could see him coming toward you, could see his lips getting closer, but all you could think about was—

Bang!

In the span of a second, a body slammed into the boards right in front you, the sound so loud it made you jump. The entire section gasped, and you turned your head just in time to see Rafe standing there, glaring up at you from behind the glass. His eyes were locked on you, jaw clenched.

He looked like he was ready to tear Elijah apart, or you, or both of you. His chest was heaving, eyes blazing, standing mere inches away from where you sat. He had skated right into the glass.

Your heart was practically in your throat, and it wasn't from Elijah being close. The look on Rafe’s face as he stood on the other side of the glass?

That was what had your pulse racing. You could barely focus on Elijah anymore. The way he laughed, oblivious, made your stomach churn because Rafe—Rafe—was staring like he owned you. He always had this way of making you feel like no matter what, no matter who else was around, you were his. 

And you hated that you still kind of liked it.

Then, still staring at you, he mouthed the words, "I dare you."

Why couldn’t he just leave you alone?

Those stupid words. Silently mouthed, but somehow loud enough to hit you like a punch through the glass. I dare you. God, what was wrong with him? He knew exactly how to push your buttons. And of course, it was working. He wasn’t just playing hockey—he was playing with you.

You could feel Elijah shifting next to you, still oblivious to the whole freaking drama unfolding right in front of him.

He was so sweet, too sweet, and it was almost infuriating right now because Rafe was standing there, with his stupid intense eyes, all but daring you to move on. Why did he have to look at you like that—like he knew you were still his.

The breakup had been brutal, the kind of messy, loud explosion where neither of you were willing to be the first to walk away. You were both too stubborn, too prideful. And now here you were, months later, still dealing with the fallout. 

Elijah finally leaned in, lips brushing yours, and you kissed him, but your heart wasn’t in it. All you could feel was Rafe’s stare burning into you. The kiss cam lingered for a few seconds, and the crowd cheered, but all you felt was... empty.

When the kiss ended, you forced a smile at Elijah, but your mind was a mess. Rafe’s eyes were still on you, and you could practically feel anger radiating off him, even through the thick glass.

You glanced down, avoiding his gaze, and tugged at the hem of his old jersey, suddenly feeling like you didn’t belong in it anymore. You leaned into Elijah, mostly out of spite at this point. You could practically hear Rafe’s teeth grinding from across the glass. Good. If he thought he could just walk around, acting like he owned the place—and you—then he deserved to stew in it a little.

But, of course, he wasn’t the kind of guy to just let something like that go. You watched as he skated back into play, but his eyes kept flicking up to where you sat, like he couldn’t stop checking to make sure you were still there. Still with Elijah. His shoulders were tense, movements a little too aggressive, like he was about to snap.

You tried to focus on the game again, but your mind kept drifting back to him. You hated this. You hated that he could still make you feel this way, even now, after everything.

After the fights, after the breakup, after swearing you were over him. Why was it so hard to let him go?

The third period started, and Rafe was everywhere, throwing his weight around like he had something to prove. And maybe he did. Every hit was harder, every pass sharper. It was like he was playing angry. And you couldn’t help but feel a little satisfied, knowing you’d gotten under his skin.

But then, with less than five minutes left in the game, things escalated. He slammed into one of the opposing players so hard that the guy went down, and the whistle blew immediately. The crowd was roaring, but Rafe didn’t back off. He stood over the guy, glaring down at him like he was ready to throw a punch.

"Jesus," Elijah muttered beside you. "What the hell’s his problem?"

You didn’t answer. You knew exactly what his problem was.

The ref skated over, shouting something at Rafe, but his eyes weren’t on the ref. They were still on you, even as the other guy on the ice slowly got back to his feet. The arena was buzzing, the crowd getting rowdy, and for a second, you thought Rafe was going to lose it right there. His fists clenched, jaw set—he looked like he was ready to drop gloves and start swinging.

And then he smirked.

It was that same cocky smirk you knew so well, the one he always flashed right before doing something reckless. The ref sent him to the penalty box, and he skated off, still with that fucking look plastered on his face. Your heart was racing, your body tense. Elijah had leaned back in his seat, totally unaware about everything.

“Man, that guy’s intense,” Elijah said, shaking his head, eyes still on the ice.

You didn’t answer. Intense didn’t even begin to cover it.

Rafe was sitting in the penalty box now, helmet off, running a hand through his hair like he didn’t just about murder a guy on the ice. You could feel his eyes on you, even from all the way across the rink. You hated it. You hated that he could still get to you like this.

The last few minutes of the game passed in an instant. You weren’t really paying attention anymore, not to the score, not to the plays. You were too busy trying not to think about Rafe, about the way he had looked at you. About the way it had made you feel.

When the final buzzer sounded, the crowd erupted in cheers. Elijah stood up, stretching, turning to you with a smile.

“Ready to head out?” he asked.

You nodded, forcing a smile. “Yeah, let’s go.”

As you made your way toward the exit, weaving through the crowd, you could feel the tension building in your chest. It wasn’t over. It never really was with Rafe.

And you knew—somehow—you weren’t getting out of here without seeing him again.

You reached the bottom of the stands, where a crowd had gathered near the exit. Elijah was still chatting about the game, still clueless. But you were distracted, scanning the crowd without even realizing it.

And then you saw him. Of course, you did.

Rafe was leaning against the wall, still in his gear, helmet tucked under his arm. His eyes locked on yours the second you stepped into his line of sight. He didn’t even pretend to care about the people around him—his gaze was dark, intense, like a predator waiting for its moment.

You hated how your heart skipped.

Elijah noticed you freeze and followed your gaze, his smile faltering when he saw Rafe standing there.

"Isn’t that the captain guy?" he asked, glancing between you and Rafe, confused.

You swallowed hard, forcing your feet to keep moving. “Yeah. That’s him.”

As you passed by, Rafe pushed off the wall, stepping right into your path. Elijah, sweet, unsuspecting Elijah, paused beside you.

"Leaving already?" Rafe’s voice was low, casual, but his eyes were locked on yours, ignoring Elijah completely. "Didn’t even stick around to congratulate the team?"

You clenched your jaw, fighting to keep your cool. "It’s late, Rafe. We’re heading out."

But he wasn’t letting you off that easy. He took a step closer, his towering frame making Elijah shift uncomfortably. "You didn’t used to leave so soon," he said, voice dripping with that familiar cockiness. "Used to be the last one out."

Because you’d always let him fuck you in the locker room.

Elijah cleared his throat, trying to stand his ground. "Uh, yeah, we’ve got plans after this."

Rafe’s eyes flicked to him for the briefest second, before landing back on you.

"Plans, huh?"

Your pulse was hammering, and you could feel the heat rising in your cheeks. Why did he always have to do this—why couldn’t he just let you go?

“Rafe, we’re done,” you said through gritted teeth, trying to hold on to the last shred of your composure. “You don’t get to pull this shit anymore.”

He glanced at Elijah briefly, his gaze cold and dismissive, then back at you. “You sure about that?” he asked, “Because it doesn’t look like it.”

You clenched your fists, nails biting into your palms as you tried to calm yourself. You didn’t need this right now. Not with Elijah here. Not after everything.

“Let’s go Elijah,” you said, tugging at Elijah’s arm, desperate to get out of there before things escalated. But Rafe wasn’t having it.

He stepped in front of you again, blocking your path like he had some kind of claim on you. And God, the worst part was—you weren’t sure he was wrong.

You glanced at Elijah, who was staring at the two of you like he had walked into the middle of a conversation he couldn’t quite follow. “Look, dude,” he started, awkwardly laughing, “I don’t know what this is, but—”

“It’s nothing,” you cut him off quickly, your voice tight. “Let’s just go.”

But Rafe wasn’t about to let it go. 

“Yeah, Elijah,” His voice dripped with sarcasm. “It’s nothing.” His eyes flicked to you, dark and daring, and before you could stop yourself, you met his gaze with the same fire.

Elijah’s phone buzzed, and he pulled it out, frowning.

“Shit,” he muttered, distracted. “I’ve gotta take this call real quick. Give me a sec?” He stepped away, leaving you and Rafe standing there in the middle of the hallway, your body practically vibrating.

He was on you in an instant, grabbing your wrist and pulling you toward the locker room door. 

“Rafe, what the fuck—” you hissed, but he wasn’t letting go.

You tried to resist, but something inside you broke down—the anger, the unresolved pull between you two. And maybe it was the way he still had that stupid hold on you, the way your body responded when you shouldn’t want it to.

Or maybe it was the fact that you’d never fully closed the door on Rafe.

He shoved the door open, pulling you inside the dimly lit hallway that led to the locker room. The second the door closed, you spun around, shoving him in the chest hard. 

“You’re such a fucking asshole, you know that?”

Rafe barely flinched, his gaze smoldering as he crowded you against the wall. 

“Yeah? You didn’t seem to think so when you were wearing my jersey tonight.”

“That was an accident.”

“Bullshit,” he growled, leaning in closer, so close you could feel the heat radiating off his body. “You knew exactly what you were doing. Bringing a date with you. Do you want me to kill someone?"

Your heart was pounding, and not just because Rafe had you pinned against the wall like he always fucking did— God, why did he have to be so damn close? The scent of his cologne mixed with the sweat from the game, sending your mind spiraling. He was overwhelming, and you hated it. You hated him for still making you feel like this.

“Get off me,” you snapped, but it came out weaker than you intended. The way his blue eyes were boring into yours, like he could see through all your bullshit, wasn’t helping.

Rafe’s smirk didn’t falter. If anything, it grew.

“C’mon, baby, don’t act like this wasn’t what you wanted. You show up, wearin’ my number, sitting there with some random guy like I don’t still own you.” 

He stepped closer, caging you in completely. You pressed your hands against his chest, but it wasn’t like you were really pushing him away. And he knew it.

“You don’t own shit,” you spat, glaring up at him. But even as the words left your mouth, you knew you didn’t believe them. The truth was, part of you had always been his.

Rafe’s lips curved into a smug grin as if he could read every thought running through your head.

“Really? ’Cause from where I’m standin’, you’ve been thinkin’ about me all night.” His breath was hot on your skin, and you hated how much you wanted to close the distance between you.

Your jaw clenched as you tried to muster the strength to tell him to fuck off, to leave you alone, but he was right. As much as you tried to convince yourself otherwise, he was still in your head, under your skin. The way his body hovered over yours—it was like nothing had changed. Like you hadn’t spent the last few months trying to forget him.

His hand found your hip, fingers pressing into your skin through your jeans, and you felt your body betray you. You cursed yourself silently as heat pooled low in your stomach. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction, didn’t want him to know how much power he still had. But damn it, he knew. He always fucking knew.

“I hate you,” you muttered. It was a weak defense, and you both knew it.

Rafe leaned in, lips brushing against your ear. “Yeah?” His voice was a low rasp that made your knees weak. “Funny, you never sound like you hate me when you’re under me.”

Your breath hitched, and you swallowed hard, trying to ignore the way your pulse quickened.

“Don’t—”

But he was already kissing you, hard and rough like he owned you, like you were his and his alone.

And the worst part? You kissed him back. His hands were on you, grabbing at your waist, pulling you closer until your bodies were pressed together. You wanted to shove him away, to slap that stupid look off his face—but your body had other plans. 

This was so wrong, on so many levels. 

You broke the kiss, gasping for air, but Rafe didn’t back off. He was staring down at you like you were his next meal, like he’d been starving without you.

“This doesn’t mean anything,” you bit out, trying to cling to some sense of control.

Rafe’s grin widened, wicked and knowing. He leaned in again, lips ghosting over yours. “We both know that's a lie.”

You clenched your fists, frustrated beyond belief. Frustrated at him, at yourself, at how easy it was for him to pull you right back in.

“Fuck you,” you hissed, but the breathless tone in your voice told a different story.

Rafe’s eyes darkened, the corner of his mouth lifting in that infuriatingly sexy way he always did.

“Oh, you will.”

And God help you—you knew he was right. That fucking arrogance. It crawled under your skin, set your blood on fire in ways it shouldn’t.

You wanted to punch him, shove him, do something to wipe that smug expression off his face. But instead, you grabbed his shirt, pulling him back toward you, kissing him with all the fury you felt.

His lips crushed against yours, and it wasn’t gentle—there was nothing soft or sweet about this. It was all heat and frustration, months of unresolved anger bursting out in one chaotic, messy kiss.

His tongue slipped past your lips, and you bit down, hard, just to remind him you weren’t going to make this easy. He groaned, low and rough, pulling back just enough to look at you, his gaze dark. "You always did like it rough."

Your fingers tangled in his hair, and you yanked him down, kissing him like you needed to get all of this out of your system. His hands roamed your body, possessive, rough, and you hated how much you craved him, like you were still his.

You weren’t his. You couldn’t be.

But every heated breath you took, every desperate movement your body made, was telling you otherwise.

When his lips moved down your neck, teeth grazing your skin, you gasped, tilting your head back as your resolve crumbled to pieces. He knew exactly what to do, how to make you fall apart, and it pissed you off that he still had that power.

His hands gripped your thighs, lifting you with ease, pressing you harder against the wall. Your breath hitched, the cold tile behind you making you gasp. His mouth was on you, hot and demanding, and for a moment, it was like nothing else mattered.

Not Elijah, not the fact that this was so damn wrong, not the months of hurt and anger you’d been holding onto.

There was only Rafe. The way he touched you, the way he kissed you like he was trying to stake his claim all over again. Like you hadn’t been apart at all.

"Tell me you don’t want this," Rafe muttered against your lips.

You bit down on your lip, trying to stop the words from spilling out. You did want this. You hated that you did, but fuck, you couldn’t lie—not to him, not to yourself.

“I—” You choked on the words, eyes meeting his, and for a split second, you thought maybe you’d find some kind of resolve, some way to pull yourself back from him.

But he wasn’t having it. His grip tightened, his mouth capturing yours again in a kiss so raw, it was borderline filthy. And that was it. Your last piece of control vanished, and you were lost in him all over again.

“Fuck,” you gasped, head spinning as his hands explored your body like he had every right to. Like you hadn’t spent months trying to break free of him.

Rafe pulled back just enough to smirk down at you, breathless and flushed. “Yeah, baby. That's what I thought."

His hands gripped your ass hard enough to leave bruises, you let out a frustrated, muffled groan, your fingers still tangled in his hair. It was a lot longer than the last time you’d seen him.

You could feel every inch of his muscle through the thin fabric of your shirt. It was suffocating in the best way, and you hated yourself for how much you wanted it.

How much you wanted him.

“You’re such an ass,” you gasped between kisses, your breath hitching when his mouth moved down to your neck. You felt him grin against your skin, the bastard.

“You say that like it’s supposed to stop you.” His voice was rough, low in your ear, and it sent a shiver down your spine. “But I don’t think it is.”

You were about to fire back, but his hands slid under your shirt, fingers grazing your skin, and whatever you were going to say was swallowed by the heat rushing through you. You hated that he still knew exactly how to get to you—how to pull you apart and leave you helpless against him.

“Rafe, this—” Your words were cut off when he bit down gently on your collarbone, sending a shockwave through your body. You clutched at his shirt.

“This what?” he taunted, pulling back just enough to look at you, his blue eyes intense. “This a mistake? Because I don’t think that’s what your body’s saying.”

You just glared up at him, trying to catch your breath. You hated that he was right. Again.

Always.

“I told you,” you managed to say, though your voice was shaky, “this doesn’t mean anything.”

Rafe’s grip on you tightened, and he leaned in, his lips brushing yours as he whispered, “You’re still here, aren’t you?”

Your heart was racing, and you could feel the heat of his breath on your skin. There was no denying it—you were here, and you weren’t leaving. Not yet.

Maybe not for a while.

And Rafe knew it.

His hands moved lower, fingers grazing the waistband of your jeans, and your breath hitched. This was dangerous territory. You knew that. 

“Last chance,” he murmured, his lips ghosting over yours. “You want me to stop?”

You should’ve said yes. You should’ve shoved him away and walked out of there with what little dignity you had left. But instead, you kissed him again—harder this time, angrier, like you needed to prove something to yourself. And maybe you did.

He yanked your shirt over your head in one rough motion, and you weren’t gentle either, tugging at his jersey until it was off and tossed aside. His hands were everywhere—on your back, in your hair, slipping under the waistband of your jeans, pulling them down with the same reckless urgency you’d been feeling since you laid eyes on him tonight.

“I hate you,” you whispered as your nails dragged down his chest, leaving angry red lines in their wake.

Rafe just laughed, “No, you don’t,” he growled, his hands grabbing your hips as he settled you onto one of the locker room benches. “But keep telling yourself that.”

Your jeans hit the floor, and he wasted no time, his hands gripping your thighs as he positioned himself between your legs, pressing you down on the bench, his body heavy against yours.

Everything was messy, and rushed, like neither of you could get enough. Like you were trying to erase the months of distance, of frustration, in the way you kissed him back, bit his lip, tugged at his hair.

 You hated how much you needed this. 

“Still think this doesn’t mean anything?” Rafe rasped, his voice hoarse as he pressed his forehead against yours, breathless and wild.

You could barely think, let alone speak, but somehow, you managed to gasp out, “Positive.”

Rafe’s mouth moved down your neck, biting and sucking, leaving marks you knew would still be there tomorrow. “You’re such a fucking liar.”

It was wrong, it was toxic, but fuck—there was something about the way he touched you. And body, traitorous and weak, responded like it always had.

You were furious with yourself, with him, with everything, but the anger only made it all hotter, more intense.

His fingers brushed against the seam of your panties, teasing, barely touching you, but doing enough to have you drenched. 

“You’re soaked,” he murmured, almost amused, slipping one finger under the fabric to run along your folds, barely dipping inside before pulling back out, "Was this all for Elijah?"

Sonofabitch.

“Stop talking,” you spat, but your voice was shaky, showing him the way you were falling apart under his touch. Rafe chuckled low in his throat, his finger moving back, this time slipping inside you, deep and slow.

You gasped, your head falling back as he began moving his finger, curling it inside you in just the right way. Your body responded immediately, hips jerking against him, desperate for more, but he took his time. He added another finger, stretching you out as his thumb rubbed slow circles over your clit, making your legs tremble beneath him.

He sped up, his fingers thrusting deeper, faster, hitting that spot inside you that made your mind go blank. “You’ve been wanting this, haven’t you? All those nights pretending you don’t think about me, but look at you now.”

Your nails dug into his shoulders, legs shaking as you felt yourself teetering on the edge, his fingers driving you closer and closer to the orgasm you so desperately needed.

His thumb pressed harder against your clit, sending shocks of pleasure through you. “Tell me how bad you need this.”

“Rafe—” you gasped, your hips bucking wildly against his hand. The tension inside you was coiled so tightly, so close to snapping. You hated him, hated yourself, but the words slipped out anyway. “I need it.”

He groaned, pleased, and that was all it took. He thrust his fingers harder, faster, until your body gave in completely. You hadn’t had a proper orgasm in months. Nothing could get you off properly. Your walls clenched around his fingers the pleasure tore through you. You cried out, your nails leaving half-moon marks in his skin as you trembled beneath him, lost in the sensation.

But he didn’t stop. He slowed down just enough to draw out every last bit of pleasure, his fingers still moving inside you as you rode out the aftershocks. When you finally caught your breath, he pulled his fingers out, his hand moving to cup your jaw, forcing you to look at him.

He shoved his pants down, not bothering to take them off completely, just enough to free himself. Your breath hitched when you felt him against you—hard, hot, and ready—and every rational thought you had left disappeared in that moment. He lined himself up, teasing you just enough to drive you crazy.

Before you could respond, he pushed into you in one hard, deliberate thrust. Your gasp turned into a low, breathless moan as your back arched, your hands gripping his shoulders for something to hold on to. The sensation of him stretching you, filling you, was overwhelming, almost too much, but exactly what you needed.

Rafe didn’t give you time to adjust. He pulled back and slammed into you again, setting a punishing rhythm that left you breathless, gasping for air. 

There was nothing gentle about it, nothing tender.

His hands gripped your hips, fingers digging into your skin as he fucked you like he was trying to remind you who you belonged to.

And you hated how good it felt.

“You’re mine,” Rafe growled, his voice rough as he thrust into you, each movement deep and brutal.“Doesn’t matter who you’re with, doesn’t matter how much you try to deny it—you’ll always come back to me.”

“Shut up,” you hissed, but your body was betraying you as you wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him deeper. 

He leaned down, his breath hot against your ear as he whispered, “Tell me you haven’t been thinking about this every night since we ended.”

You couldn’t.

The words were right there, on the tip of your tongue, but instead, a moan escaped your lips as he hit that perfect spot inside you. Your body arched against his, and you cursed yourself for being so weak.

“Fuck,” you gasped, eyes squeezed shut as the pleasure built, every nerve in your body on fire.

“That’s what I thought,” Rafe growled, his pace quickening, the force of his thrusts making the bench creak beneath you.

The sound of the bench, the way his body pressed into yours so perfectly, the heat of his breath against your neck—it all made it impossible to think straight. You should have been disgusted with yourself for letting it get this far, for letting him have this kind of control over you. 

“I fucking hate you,” you managed to gasp out between breaths.

Rafe chuckled, “Yeah? Then why do you sound like that, huh?” His voice was taunting, filled with the arrogance you hated, “This pussy still mine, huh?”

You loved the way he grabbed you like you were his, even though you’d sworn, sworn, you were done with him.

You were still in love, weren’t you? Even after all the shit, all the screaming matches, the nights spent crying because of him. That was the part that pissed you off the most.

Before you knew, his hands were flipping you over so fast your knees hit the bench before you could react.

“Rafe—mmh,” you gasped, but your words died in your throat when he shoved you forward, pressing your chest flat against the cold wood of the bench. You barely had a second to brace yourself before his hands were gripping your ass, spreading you open for him.

He didn’t give you time to catch your breath. He was already dragging the head of his cock through your wetness, teasing, knowing how much you wanted it, even if you wouldn’t say it.

You squirmed, hating how desperate you felt, hating how your body responded to him like this. “Fuck, Rafe, stop teasing—”

“You want more?” he cut you off, voice dark and dripping with arrogance. He slapped your ass, just enough to sting, and you yelped, your back arching instinctively. “You’re gonna have to beg for it.”

"Like hell," you spat back.

He leaned forward, his chest pressing against your back, his mouth right by your ear.

 “You can act tough all you want, but I know how much you want this,” he gritted out, his cock sliding against your folds again, torturously slow. “I know how much you need it.”

Before you could snap back, he thrust into you hard, filling you completely in one brutal stroke. You cried out, hands gripping the edges of the bench, and Rafe didn’t even give you a second to adjust. He pulled out almost all the way before slamming back in, faster this time, deeper.

The angle had you seeing stars. The bench was narrow, forcing your legs closer together, making everything tighter, more intense. You couldn’t stop the way your body responded to him, hips moving back to meet his thrusts even though your mind was screaming at you to get a grip.

His hands gripped the fat of your ass, pulling you back onto his cock with every thrust, and the sound of skin slapping against skin filled the small room, mixing with your moans and his ragged breathing.

“God, you feel so fucking good,” Rafe groaned, his voice low and rough as he thrust into you, each movement hitting that perfect spot inside you, making your legs tremble. “So fucking tight for me.”

He pressed his thumb against your clit, rubbing in slow, deliberate circles that had you on the edge in seconds. You couldn’t stop the moan that ripped from your throat, your hips bucking wildly against him as the pleasure built, higher and higher until you felt like you might break apart.

“You’re close, aren’t you?” He rasped, his voice thick with lust. “I can feel it. Fuck.”

You tried to hold on, tried to keep some control, but it was useless. He knew exactly how to break you.

“I’m gonna come,” you gasped, your voice barely more than a whimper as you felt the pleasure rising fast, threatening to consume you.

“Do it,” Rafe growled, his fingers rubbing harder, faster. “Come for me, baby.”

And you did.

Your orgasm crashed over you so hard your vision blurred, your body shaking as the pleasure tore through you. You cried out, your walls clenching around him, and Rafe groaned, his grip on you tightening as he fucked you through it, relentless, brutal, until your entire body was trembling.

But he wasn’t done.

He pulled out suddenly, and before you could catch your breath, he yanked you up, turning you around. You barely had time to register what was happening before he lifted you up, your legs wrapping around his waist as he pressed you against the cold locker. His cock was back inside you in seconds, filling you again, and you moaned, the new angle sending jolts of pleasure through your already overstimulated pussy.

He pounded into you, his grip on your ass bruising, and you clung to him, nails digging into his broad shoulders as he fucked you against the lockers. The sound of metal creaking under the force of his thrusts only made it hotter, more desperate. You could feel another orgasm building, and you hated him for it—hated how easily he could pull them from you. 

“You’re mine,” he growled, his voice rough as he buried his face in your neck, his teeth scraping against your skin. “You’ll always be mine.”

And you hated that some twisted part of you wanted it to be true.

Your legs tightened around him, pulling him impossibly closer, deeper, as if you couldn’t get enough of him.

And God, you couldn’t.

His grip on your ass was rough, bruising, but it only made you moan louder. You were on the verge again—your body still tingling from the last orgasm, but the way he moved inside you, the way his teeth grazed your neck, it had you spiraling toward another one, faster than you thought possible.

“Look at you,” Rafe groaned, lifting his head just enough to lock eyes with you. His pupils were blown wide with lust, a wild look on his face that sent a thrill down your spine. “Fuck, you love this, don’t you?”

You did. Because no matter how much you hated him, how much you wanted to hate him—there was a part of you that still belonged to him. A part of you that couldn’t walk away.

His lips were everywhere—on your neck, your collarbone, your jaw—and you couldn’t stop the sounds escaping your throat as he kept driving into you.

“Say it,” he growled, “Say you’re mine.”

You bit down on your lip, trying to hold it in, trying to fight back, but every nerve in your body was betraying you. The way his body fit against yours, the way he moved inside you, it was all too much. You were coming again, and you hated it.

He pulled back just enough to look at you, his eyes dark and wild. “Say it.”

You wanted to spit in his face. But your body was telling a different story, hips bucking against him, legs tightening around his waist again.

“R-Rafe,” you whimpered, hating how weak you sounded, how desperate.

His smirk was infuriating, but fuck, it was hot.

“That’s what I thought,” he murmured, his pace quickening, each thrust deeper than the last. “You’re mine. Always have been.”

And then he slammed into you one last time, hitting that perfect spot inside you, and the orgasm tore through you, leaving you gasping and trembling in his arms. You cried out, head thrown back against the lockers as your body shook with the force of it, your nails raking down his back.

Rafe groaned, his grip on you tightening as he rode out your orgasm, his movements growing sloppier, more erratic. His forehead pressed against yours, his breath coming in short, ragged gasps.

“Fuck, baby,” he moaned, his hips jerking against yours as he finally let go, his release hitting hard. You felt the warmth of him spill inside you, as he held you against him, buried deep.

The second his breathing slowed and his grip on you loosened, reality came crashing back in. 

What the fuck had you done?

You pushed at his chest, trying to put some space between you, but he wasn’t letting go that easily. His arms stayed wrapped around you, his body pressed against yours like he still had something to prove.

“Get off,” you muttered, your voice weak, but sharper than before.

He chuckled, that low, arrogant sound that drove you crazy. “That’s not what you were saying five minutes ago.”

You shot him a glare, shoving at his chest again, harder this time. “I’m serious, Rafe. Move.”

Reluctantly, he let go, stepping back just enough for you to slide off the locker and onto shaky legs. You stumbled a bit, and Rafe’s hand shot out to steady you, but you jerked away from him, pulling your jeans back up with shaky hands.

He leaned against the locker, smirking like he hadn’t just torn your world apart all over again. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

You wanted to scream at him, to throw something at his face. But instead, you grabbed your shirt off the floor, yanking it over your head as you tried to steady your breath.

“Good luck finding your date.”

Elijah. You’d come to the game with Elijah.

You shook your head as you zipped up your jeans and ran your fingers through your hair, trying to look somewhat presentable. You avoided looking at him, knowing that if you did, you’d see the smug satisfaction on his face that would only make you feel worse.

He pushed himself off the locker and took a step closer to you. You flinched, stepping back instinctively. “This can’t happen again.”

His smirk slipped for a moment as he looked at you. H e closed the distance between you in two strides, his hand reaching out to grab your wrist, pulling you toward him before you could react, “You’re choosing him?”

You yanked your wrist out of his grip, your heart racing as you forced yourself to take a step back, putting distance between the two of you, “You’re the one who chose yourself.”

His eyes darkened, searching your face, like he couldn’t believe what you’d just said. Maybe he thought he still had you wrapped around his finger.

“You’re the one who walked away,” you added, hating how your voice trembled, “So don’t act like I owe you anything.”

Rafe’s hand hovered like he was about to reach for you again, but he didn’t. “That’s not how I remember it.” 

Your stomach twisted, “I’m not doing this anymore. I can’t—” You glanced at the door, feeling the weight of Elijah waiting for you. The one person who was good for you, who actually wanted to be with you.

But the worst part? You were still thinking about Rafe. Even after everything, you were still here, breathless, a mess because of him.

He took a step closer, his eyes locked on yours, and for a second, you thought he might apologize. Maybe say something real. But Rafe Cameron didn’t do apologies. 

He raised an eyebrow, “Really?” His hand lifted, brushing a strand of hair out of your face in a gesture that was far too intimate, given everything that had just happened. “Then why are you still standing here?”

You flinched, stepping back. Why were you still standing there? You had no good answer, at least not one you were ready to admit.

“Go back to your date,” Rafe continued, his voice mocking now, “Pretend like he’s enough for you.”

You bit the inside of your cheek, trying to keep the tears at bay. You couldn’t give him that satisfaction, not again. “You’re wrong.”

Rafe let out a low chuckle, shaking his head. “I don’t think I am.”

You squeezed your eyes shut, throat tight, trying to push back the tears. This was all wrong. It was always wrong with Rafe, “Stop.”

It sounded like a plea—a plea for him to stop talking, stop looking at you like that, stop making you feel so small and yet so overwhelmed all at once.

Rafe sighed, stepping back just a fraction, and for a second, his gaze lifted. But it wasn’t enough. It never was. “I’m not trying to hurt you,” he said, his voice softer now, like that made a difference.

“You always do,” you shot back, finally meeting his eyes. The truth slipped out before you could stop it, and there it was.

His jaw clenched, "I don’t mean to," he muttered, his voice low. "You know that."

"Does it even matter?" You felt the bitterness rise in your throat, along with something else—something fragile and painful. "You still do it. Whether you mean to or not."

Rafe stayed quiet, and you hated that silence. He didn’t have an answer. He never did, not for this. Your fingers fumbled with the zipper of your jacket, something to keep your hands busy so you wouldn’t look at him, wouldn’t say something you’d regret. But regret was already everywhere, suffocating you both.

“I thought we were past this,” you said finally, barely more than a whisper. “I thought I was past this.” But clearly, you weren’t. Clearly, some part of you was still here, with him, in the wreckage you’d both created.

He ran a hand through his hair, looking frustrated, torn. “It’s not that simple.”

"It should be." Your voice cracked. You hated how much this hurt. How much he could still hurt you.

It wasn’t fair. You weren’t supposed to still care this much. You weren’t supposed to still feel this.

Rafe sighed, taking another step back, giving you space. But it wasn’t the kind of space you wanted. It wasn’t the kind that would make things easier. “I don’t know what you want from me,” he admitted quietly, his eyes searching yours for something he couldn’t find.

You swallowed, the lump in your throat making it hard to breathe. "I don’t want anything from you." 

That was the truth, or at least it was supposed to be. You didn’t want anything he had to offer, not anymore. Not when every time you reached for it, it slipped through your fingers like water, leaving you emptier than before.

But there was still that ache, that feeling between you two, the one that dragged you back here even when you knew better. You wished you could kill it, cut it out of you like some infected part, but it was tangled too deep. And maybe a small part of you didn’t want to.

“You keep saying that,” he murmured, his voice almost tender, like he was seeing right through you. “But you’re still here.”

“I don’t know why,” you whispered, blinking back tears. Fuck, you hated this. Hated how vulnerable you felt, how easily he could unravel you, even now. “I shouldn’t be.”

He didn’t say anything, just stood there, watching you, like he was waiting for you to make the next move. Like he wanted you to figure it out on your own.

But you didn’t know how. You never did when it came to him.

"I’m sorry," he said, and this time, it felt real. There was no arrogance. Just Rafe, standing there, as broken as you felt. "I don’t know how to fix this."

You let out a bitter laugh, wiping at your eyes with the back of your hand. “There’s nothing left to fix, Rafe. We’ve already destroyed it.”

His face twisted, like he didn’t want to believe it. Like he was still holding onto some small piece of hope. "We could—"

"No," you cut him off, shaking your head. "We can’t."

You couldn’t keep doing this. The push and pull, the endless cycle of hurt and apologies that never really fixed anything. You couldn’t keep pretending that something would change, that he would change.

Because you both knew he wouldn’t.

He took a breath, exhaling slowly, and you could see it—the realization sinking in. 

He knew it too. "I never wanted to lose you," he admitted quietly.

You swallowed hard, your chest tight. "You already did."

[giannaln4]

I Missed You

lando norris x fem reader

summary: You missed seeing Lando being happy after a race, and you couldn't wait to tell him how proud you were.  (1.4k words)

warnings: fluff, stablished relationship, a bit of mclaren slander

a/n: when i tell you i loved this idea SO SO much. i’m not too sure i’m happy with how this turned out but i really hope you guys enjoy it 🩷 i apologise for posting this just before the race but it was a bit hard to get started for some reason 😭 anyway pls let me know what you think!!

check out the original request here!

↺ back to navigation — send me a request!

The weekend in Monza was one you were hoping to forget. The tension in the air reflected not only in the team but also in the comments people were making about it, having even sports commentators and content creators question McLaren’s entire strategy to keep their fighting position in the WCC and also have a shot at the WDC. 

Lando’s demeanour immediately after getting off the car was something you would never forget, though, even if you tried. It was pretty obvious for everyone, even if he tried his hardest to never say something bad about his team and his teammate. That team was his home anyway. He had been with McLaren even before his F1 career started, and even after weekends like this one, he would never doubt he wanted to achieve great things with them.

That is probably what made it harder for him. This year they were competing not only for points and podiums but for something bigger, and after knowing what he is capable of, ending up in that position absolutely crushed him, and you hated to see him debating with himself. 

Once the weekend was finally over and you were leaving Italy, you wanted to make him feel better, telling him how great he was and how proud you were. You even shot some comments at McLaren for everything that went down, but he didn’t want to hear it; he barely wanted to talk about it, so you just dropped it. You understood him anyway, so you had to leave everything behind and just be supportive of your boyfriend.

You were hoping this weekend would be different, better, everyone was, and there was a lot of talking in the team that they would make the right decisions to keep fighting now that they had the chance. This, of course, would only mean something until they actually proved it during the race. 

Lando was in a better mood coming into this weekend; he trusted his team and he was confident they were backing him up. That was until the qualifying came. A yellow flag being pulled out by mistake during Q1 caused him to lose the opportunity to even put up a fight, and he ended up being P17. It wasn’t even his fault, but you knew he was beating himself up for that result. 

“Lando,” you called him right after he came back to the garage to watch the rest of the qualifying. He looked at you with a disappointed smile. “It’s not your fault, baby.”

“I know.” He pulled you into a hug, not wanting you to worry about him too much. “There’s nothing I could have done. We just have to wait and see what we can do tomorrow.”

“I’m sure you’ll do amazing,” you replied into his chest, rubbing small circles in his back to let him know you were there for him, no matter what. 

“We’ll see. The car felt okay, but it’s hard to overtake on this track. It’s quite a long straight.” He let out a nervous giggle as he pulled away; he didn’t sound as confident as you were hoping, but you knew he was right. “Some of it is just going to have to cross our fingers.”

There was no point in fighting him when he got like that, so you just nodded. “I’ll be crossing everything I have then.”

He went off with the rest of his team as you stayed back to watch the rest of the cars complete the qualifying. The air was starting to get tense again, and even though you knew everyone was nervous with Lando’s result, you weren’t sure if it was just your own feelings talking. But like Lando said, you were going to have to wait and see what the team could come up with, you were just hoping they would do the right thing.

Race day was finally here, and with Lewis starting from the pit lane due to a new power unit and Pierre being excluded due to fuel flow rate, Lando had been promoted to P15. Sure, it would have been better if Lando had the chance to fight for his starting position, but at least that was something. 

You could see he was still not completely confident in how the race would go, but you trusted enough for the both of you. 

Watching the race from the garage was something that always made you incredibly nervous, but especially in this position. But Lando managed to get to P12 by lap 2, and everyone was incredibly excited by his overtakes. 

As the race went on and he felt more confident with the car, he started to climb his way up to the top 10, trusting the team’s decisions with the strategy they were sticking to, and you were so glad everything was falling in place. 

The rest of the race still made you bite your nails at how nervous you were, but the bliss in the entire garage when he overtook someone was indescribable. He was driving the race of his life, and even the radios he exchanged with the team radiated that. As always, the last few laps were nervewracking, but the fact that he made it all the way to P6 and was even helping Oscar with his own race left everyone with a good taste. Not a complete terrible weekend after all. 

During the last lap, however, an unfortunate crash between Carlos and Checo pushed him to P4, meaning he gained 11 positions during the race; not that you ever doubted him, but seeing him end up there with the fastest lap after an absolute mess of the qualifying made you excited to see him. After confiming everyone was okay, you took the liberty to celebrate your boyfriend’s race.

Lando got out of the car and went to greet his team, cheers and smiles all over the place. Everyone was praising him for the incredible work he made, and his smile didn’t go away for a second the entire time. 

You knew you would still have to wait to congratulate him; he still had to do media before coming back to his room, where you were waiting for him, but seeing him so happy in the monitors made you grow impatient. 

It felt like it had been a while since you saw him so happy after a race.

After what felt like forever, you heard him come back to the garage. You stoop up from the small couch and opened the door, where you were greeded by your boyfriend. 

“Hey, you.” You said, closing the door behind him.

“Hi,” he replied, smile so big you could see his dimples.

“That was amazing, Lando. I knew you would do amazing, but I can’t even describe how proud I am.” 

He smiled even more at your words. He closed the distance between you when he took a few steps, wrapping you in his arms and kissing you deeply. You could even feel him smiling then, and that filled your heart.

“Thank you; it was a good day,” he said when he pulled away, looking down at you with loving eyes. “I think everything worked out.” You just nodded as you admired him.

“I missed you,” you whispered as you brushed a few curls that fell on his forehead.

“What do you mean? We’ve been together the last three weeks. You saw me just before the race." To say he was confused was an understatement, and you could see it in his face.

“I mean you, this. I missed seeing you so happy and smiley. Looks good on you.”

Lando was a bit embarrassed by your confession; he thought he did a better job at hiding how much the results affected him, at least to you. It was never his intention to be so down when he was with you, but man, was he endeared by your words. “I needed this,” was all he said, and you know he was right. And it wasn’t only him; you knew the team needed this as well.

“I know, and I know you hate to hear it, but I told you.”

He let out a laugh, not a nervous one this time. “Yes, you did,” he hugged you again, much tighter as he buried his face on the crook of your neck. “Thank you for being here and supporting me, even during my bad times.” He spoke with so much sincerity. 

“I wouldn’t change it for the world.”

[piastrisun]

the perfect gift.

pairings: lando norris x fem!reader.

summary: the tradition of the secret santa in mclaren never ends, much less now that lando got your name on it.

genre: fluff.

word count: 1k.

warning: none.

notes: no use of y/n or any names at all.

as someone who notices every little detail and always stays on top of things, you can’t help but pick up on the small comments your colleagues make. if someone mentions they like something, it becomes second nature for you to remember it. and the moment you come across that item, you instinctively get it for them without a second thought. it’s not even about the object itself; it’s just who you are, attentive and thoughtful. the drivers are no exception. if oscar casually mentions he likes something as simple as a keyring, you make sure to have one ready for him at the first opportunity. and when it comes to lando, well, it's a little different. not that you play favorites, of course, but there's just something about him. you find yourself wanting to give him more—small, thoughtful gifts that hold meaning, not just because of what they are, but because it feels like you're speaking a language only he can understand.

luckily for you, lando is the same way. he’s always been so attentive to his colleagues and the whole mclaren team, making sure everyone feels seen and appreciated. and now, with christmas just around the corner, festive decorations sparkling in every room, the smell of pine filling the air, and the buzz of the secret santa exchange spreading excitement through the halls, something different stirs. fate, with its playful timing, has placed your name in lando’s hands. and though most of your interactions have remained professional, you somehow have this strange power over him, lighting up his day with just a smile or a laugh. he can’t stop thinking about you.

determined to make this gift special, lando has spent weeks quietly gathering hints, listening closely to every comment you’ve made, every subtle suggestion. it’s almost like he’s reverse engineering your tastes, wanting to find something that reflects how much he cares. and finally, after all the planning, he finds it, the perfect gift. it’s not just a present; it’s something that speaks to your interests, something that carries meaning far beyond its surface.

on the day of the exchange, your heart is fluttering with excitement, but there’s also a familiar nervousness creeping in as everyone gathers around the festive table, gifts piled high, laughter filling the air. as soon as the room grows quieter, your heart starts to beat louder, like it’s trying to escape your chest. you try focusing on the cheerful chatter around you, but every time you sneak a glance at lando, all your attempts at being calm fly out the window. he stands across the table, nervously shifting his weight from foot to foot, and for once, his usual laid-back vibe seems to disappear. every time your eyes accidentally meet, you feel heat rush to your cheeks, forcing you to look away almost immediately. what is it about him that makes you feel like this?

it’s a quiet, unspoken game, the tension hanging between you like a string about to snap. even oscar catches on, watching the two of you from the corner of his eye, grinning to himself as if he's the only one in on the secret. it’s amusing, the way your obvious connection has become so noticeable to everyone but, somehow, not entirely to you or him.

when your turn comes, after what feels like an eternity, you try to steady your hands as you reach for the present in front of you. you know it’s from him. somehow, you just know. your hands move almost automatically, and as you tear through the paper, the room falls into a soft, curious hush. your fingers tug at the wrapping paper, and when the gift is finally revealed, you freeze. your breath hitches in your throat. it’s the book, a rare edition you’ve been searching for years. the one you never thought you'd get your hands on. and next to it, resting carefully in a little pot, is a delicate flower, your favorite. and a handwritten note with a poorly drawn smiley face: “merry christmas, i’m grateful i met you.”

your eyes shoot up, and there he is, standing still, watching your reaction closely. that familiar smile of his is softer now, almost shy, a look you rarely ever see on him. lando, always so confident, now seems unsure, almost vulnerable.

“oh my god, this is perfect, lan. thank you,” you manage to say, your voice trembling with gratitude and something else you can’t quite name. you don’t think twice; you step forward and wrap your arms around him, your cheek pressing against him. it feels so natural. his arms wrap around you too, holding you in a way that makes you feel seen. he rests his chin on your head, and you can hear his soft sigh of relief. there’s no denying it now, he has been paying attention, really paying attention to everything about you.

“i’m glad you like it,” he murmurs, his voice so close to your ear that it sends shivers down your spine. “i spent ages trying to think of something that might make you happy.”

your fingers lightly brush the petals, and a warmth floods through you, a warmth you've been ignoring, maybe even avoiding, until now. you look up, and there he is, looking right at you with that shy, almost bashful smile you rarely see on him. it makes your heart flutter, seeing him this thoughtful. for a second, it feels like the whole room has melted away, the room, the laughter, the others. there’s only you and him, standing across from each other, caught in the quiet magic of the moment. you can’t help it, you smile wide, your face flushing with joy.

“wanna go out sometime?” you blurt out, the words tumbling from your lips before you can even think to stop them. the second the words leave your lips, you feel a rush of embarrassment, but at the same time, relief. it feels good to finally ask, to finally say what you’ve been holding back for so long.

lando’s eyes light up instantly, his face breaking into a smile that makes your heart skip a beat. “please, i’d love to,” he nods, his voice soft, as if the question had been burning in his mind too.

before you can say anything else, oscar’s teasing voice breaks through the magic, making you jump. “thank god for that. i was getting sick of you two.” he gives lando a playful pat on the back, grinning, but nothing can wipe the smile off either of your faces now.

©⠀piastrisun original work. please don’t translate, claim or repost any of my writing, 24’.

[ghostykapi]

three against me (the trio's love)

misamo & fem!reader // college au

thank you for @cry4mina for the misamo pictures and for being delulu with me about misamo <3 MISAMOOO

when you said you wanted your college life to be eventful

you didn't expect the universe throwing you three girlfriends, each with their own side of how they got you locked with them

it starts during the first semester of your 3rd year, when you were in a small cafe, getting to a headstart in your pile of homework

it's perfect, a iced coffee by your side, three readings beside you, your laptop on the coffee table in front of you and phone silenced, muting whatever the onslaught of messages nayeon is sending that you can't even be bothered to check

you needed this, you couldn't handled anymore 'dubchaeng babysitting!' when the duo would just make your head hurt with the amount of crazy ideas they had. the change of pace for the day is much welcome, especially knowing that jeongyeon took over with the lure of seeing a band a cafe next university over

it's nice, you can feel like you are in control for even just for a bit

then the cafe's noise dies down when the door chimes

it's too silent

fuck.

you brace yourself at the trio, who’s presence can make the entire student populous go on their knees. the mere whisper of their little group brings the entire college either trembling

misamo.

you can feel her gaze land on you, despite the only indication that it is one of them without looking is the whispers within the cafe. even the baristas know them

hirai momo. softball player, the star athlete that brings medals and more recognition to your university. average grades, stellar performance when she steps on the field and can land a nasty punch

with each step you hear her take, the more you have to remind yourself not to look. you can hear her giggles and the way your heartbeat is now in your ears

minatozaki sana. influencer and model, the unspoken leader of their group. through her bubbly and charming personality, she uses her wit to become the face of the university. part of the top 10% of the whole university, the inspiration to study hard and diligently

you feel a hand on your shoulder, the firm grasp rendering you unable to move, yet it's how you know who it is. she hums in delight at your sharp intake of breath, knowing that you don't need anything else to tell her apart

myoui mina. rising entrepreneur of 3 different business ventures, the deadliest one from the trio. always calculating, always 10 steps ahead of her peers and competitors. sweet, kind, and demur, she brings class to whatever she does

that includes sitting beside you, her bag gently landing on the table, your proximity leaves the others questioning your relationship, but all you know is that you must have done something at your shared class with her yesterday for her too approach you

"i hope you don't mind" she starts, eyes confident and you want to scream and cry because she's wearing a suit. typically worn when she's fresh from visiting one of her businesses. "i heard you were well versed in code"

"programming is my major yes" you keep your voice leveled, after all, being a woman in such a male dominated course has made you what your flock of admirers say, freezingly cold.

"i have a proposition for you" mina starts, keeping a dangerous game of who can keep the eye contact going "you help me with homeworks and projects while i give you money per assessment made"

while mina has a fair share of students that matched her energy, something in your gaze makes her crack a bit

"what makes you think i'll say yes?"

"you can't say no to me"

"yes i can. here watch i'll say it"

and mina can't deny it when she feels her heart start to race when you get closer to her. faces barely a few inches apart

"i don't do things for money. so no"

and you pull back, ready to put back to attention to your homework when mina speaks up

"every time you have to help me i'll pay you in food"

oh goodness free food

"ok i'm in" you hum, hands typing away on your laptop "we start in two days, send me an address and i'll met you there myoui. now shoo, i have to catch up to my work"

she stares at you with a blank gaze, but inside she's dumbfounded at your boldness

nevertheless, she stands up to leave you be, but before she's out of earshot, she says something you don't quite catch

"what?" you ask

"you should call me mina. myoui is too professional even for my taste dear"

three days later, it's momo who bugs you after your morning class

she slips up right beside you, the lack of dress code in the university gives momo a chance to wear a body hugging pink dress, something that makes everyone go crazy. what you don't like is how every guy is looking at her in ways you want to pluck their eyes out

filthy bastards don't deserve to gaze at her at all

"momo" your ears are red because everyone can clearly see you both in the halls, her arm around your waist as you slowly walk to the next building for your next class "what are you doing?"

"accompanying you to class" momo won't admit it, but ever since mina said you were, in her words, 'pretty and sufficient', she had to see you

"why?" you ask, glaring at every man who's looking at her too creepily, making them scurry away

"just because, plus our classrooms are right beside each other" she relaxes more with each less man in the hall, you notice it

"fine" you huff, and before she can even say anything else, you remove your jacket, giving it to her "wear this for today, i don't want any man to look at you. you're too gorgeous for them"

the rest of the walk is silent on the way to both of your classrooms. only thing you can hear is the squeak of every sneaker from each man running way and the whispers in between students

it's the most peaceful walk momo has had since becoming star athlete

so when you wave at her from the door before disappearing to go to the classroom beside her's, she feels like she can breath without panicking

she hates taking anything math related, but she might bare it more when she knows your beside her classroom

she's hooked

later that afternoon, while you lounge around the student council office sipping a red bull, someone barges in, scaring your team who's having a heated debate on who should the rest of the papers

"fucking jesus who the fuck-" ryujin is silenced from who she sees at the door

minatozaki sana, the ever persistent and one of the most notable member under the team of the president.

"someone sent you flowers?"

not a question you were expecting, even your team is gawking at her

dressed to perfection, you can't catch her in a regular outfit at any point, which is kind of ridiculous. sana doesn't care, always styled like she's going to a fashion week in europe. today she's wearing that white dress that she just wore in her feature in some magazine

what is it with the trio and wearing designer clothing every time they are at university grounds? specifically when they are within your eyesight

"pardon?" you know the amount of admires that still try despite cold rejection, even hailing from different courses. hell you think someone from the university over sent you chocolates once, you gave it to your team though

"did you accept some stupid boy's flowers?" sana repeats, anger in her eyes, an emotion she barely shows, and possessiveness in her body language, something you see glimpses of when someone gets close to mina and momo that she doesn't approve of

"minatozaki you know i don't do that" you say calmly, your team in awe at how you keep a calm attitude "if the suitor doesn't have the guts to face me, then they do not deserve my limited time"

"then you'll entertain if i do right?"

you can hear felix and lily choke over their pizza behind you

"you are not serious" you look at her like she's crazy (she loves being called that, you learn from mina later on)

she gets closer to you, faces barely an inch apart, any slip up from her leaning way to closer over your table and she can just kiss you

"try me, i'll see you at tomorrow's meeting miss vice-president"

when she leaves the office, it takes you and your team a total of 5 minutes to recover

"jesus what the fuck was that"

"ryujin shut up, go back to bickering with lia"

no one has ever said no to the trio

maybe a few people had

they're just not as pretty, charming and confident as you

maybe that's why mina keeps sitting beside you during your shared programming class even oustide 'tutor' hours, why momo's insistent at being beside you in between periods to carry your items on days your classes line up, and why sana shows up in every weekly meeting with an expensive gift or a trinket, challenging each suitor head on.

women like them are gonna be the death of you

"you have some crazy women that like you" jihyo jests beside you, giggling at how sana is glaring daggers at how close you both are. you both are now taking a break along with the rest of the internal team to finalize some papers

"yeah well" you don't like to admit it, but ever since their persistence to always either be near you, you have been starting to crack bit by bit "can't really escape them y'know"

"i think you would look cute with them" jihyo hums, swinging her pen between her fingers, making someone across the table keep her stare at the president "misamo and their girlfriend who sucks ass at karaoke"

"ok that was one time" you huff, jihyo's snickering makes sana look up from her phone, jaw tensing up at how close jihyo is "clearly i let you win because you liked it when tzuyu said she's treat you out if you win right?"

that shuts her up. the said tall woman is at the other side of the room, watching the president's face get red, wondering what you just said to make her like this

"get back to work" jihyo then shoos you away, your laughter making jihyo flip you off before returning to work for herself

before you cam even return to work, your eyes meet sana's, her expression unreadable. you wonder what she's thinking of

you look away, a light blush on your cheeks from her intense stare, busying yourself once more with the papers

to sana, witnessing your smile and laughter rewires her brain, heart pleading with her to speed up whatever this stage the three of them are in. each day that passes drives the three of them crazy

mina is messing up in her calculations, momo is missing her shots and sana is losing her composure on the daily

she needs you. they need you.

when sana heads home that night she keeps thinking about you. even when she lets her girlfriends debate what their late night dinner should be (mina wants tacos, momo is craving for some pasta). she blurts out in the middle of it

"do you think y/n would say yes if we offered her sushi as a late night dinner?"

the two stop at their bickering to look at sana, who's eyes are begging for the next move. she's getting itchy and desperate to make it

"satang" mina reaches out to her, letting sana wrap her arms around her waist as momo hugs them both "did something happen?"

"it's just" sana doesn't even try to hide it at this point, knowing that the three of them are nearing their breaking point "i saw her laugh today and it really made me think that 'i want to make her laugh with us' and i-i don't know but it has been driving me mad"

mina hums in understanding and momo speaks up, ready to take that push

"then let's go"

staying late even after meetings is normal for you to catch up with the papers, but for the past few days, you have been staying late in the office to busy your thoughts

mina hasn't been looking at you in the eye or been acknowledging you

momo hasn't been accompanying you to class

sana hasn't shown up to a single meeting this past two weeks

trying to silence your head, you decided to throw yourself into your extra curriculars every night. this night, you are working alone, the only sounds that you can hear are your aggressive typing on your poor keyboard, the music coming from your small speaker and the voices in your head making your heart ache

and now a knock and the door swinging open

"if you have any concerns please drop them by our social media accounts, email, or even the drop box by the-"

you stop your next words when you look up

mina.

you want to curse at the woman, for deliberately avoiding you. it was worse with her, because at least with the two you didn't have the urge to scream because they simply did not show up.

momo.

even clad in that handsome suit, she's still wearing that jacket you handed over to her. devastatingly handsome and gorgeous, you wonder why did she have to leave you wondering in the noisy university halls

sana.

meetings are still the same, but jihyo keeps on asking why your eyes have been straying, always going back to the door. waiting for that laugh to annoy you, waiting for a snarky remark to any stupid men flirting with you, waiting for anything from her

you really want to throw a chair at them for just showing up now and pissing you off

you don't though, because you missed them

each in their own suit, each with their own gift, each one with a nervous smile that no one will ever see, each one wearing their hearts up their sleeves, and each with the same question you didn't know you wanted to hear until now

"we like you. would you like to go out with us? dinner tomorrow night, our treat"

you can't say no

"you guys are horrible at courting. pick me up at 7"

bonus:

in every first date you've been on, you never come over to your dates home. that changes and ends with them

"hirai" you're trying to keep your breath stable as her hands are playing your hair. eyes hazy, but clearly on you, her self control out the door, just like yours

"myoui" she's behind you, her hands on your waist, murmuring what she's been thinking about for the past days. it's all you, and it makes you melt

"minatozaki" you let her kiss you, silencing your worries and doubts, silencing anything that makes you question them. the heart finally getting what it wants

"you my love, deserve to be ours"

[toiletclown]

breathless.

spencer agnew x gn!reader

mostly fluff, a little angst.

part one of four or five, depending how much more i add.

summary: you've had feelings for your best friend, spencer, almost as long as you have known him. it isn't getting any easier, and you need to tell him soon, whether he feels the same or not. your friends are pushing you, the fans already ship you, and after courtney and shayne's success, you just couldn’t bare to keep lying anymore. to yourself, or to him.

word count: 2028 for part one.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

It’s been two years since you graduated from Smosh crew member to Smosh cast member. You weren’t the first, and are unlikely to be the last, but it’s still a bit nerve-wracking. You were moved to cast not long after Spencer made his switch to cast, but that was exactly your problem, wasn’t it? When you were both on crew, it was easier. Small smiles, hidden glances, a blush forming under your mask. Once or twice, Brennan had swiveled his camera to the crew to get their reactions and you couldn’t duck fast enough to dodge the shot. 

You both shared moments without fear of judgment, knowing everyone at Smosh knew how close you were. Some more than others. But once you were both on camera more often, those moments dwindled to near nothingness. You couldn’t make eyes at him, he couldn’t flirt with you. Plenty of the cast flirted with each other on and off camera, of course, but it was different somehow. The office flirting became private hangout flirting, which then became no flirting at all. 

He didn’t get jealous anymore when Amanda or Angela flirted with you, and you did your best not to get jealous when he flirted with Tommy or Shayne. It was like your friendship was entirely platonic again. And while that was all it had ever been – platonic – it hurt a little. It was like something happened overnight, and the flirting wasn’t cool anymore.

The last time something happened before your promotion to cast, Spencer, Angela, and Chanse were doing Who Meme’d It with Shayne, and someone had sent in a meme about you always looking at Spencer. As soon as it popped up, everyone was laughing, and Brennan promptly turned his camera to get your face. You were smart enough to expect it, and you managed to push out a laugh and shrug to the camera. All in good fun, it seemed. But really, it was a little bit upsetting to realize you were so obvious about your affection for Spencer. You thought that you were fairly secretive and weren’t too over the top, but apparently not so much.

“Okay, ‘Y/N pretending they weren’t just staring at Spencer’! Spencer, any thoughts?” Shayne said through giggles. 

Spencer made eye contact with you, and you did your best to hold it. “Gotta be honest, Shayne, I wasn’t even aware they stared at me. Guess they’re sneakier than I thought!” Everyone was laughing again, and you joined in. Instead of making a joke about him staring at you, or a joke about you two flirting in your pod, he went with a PR answer. You could barely admit to yourself how bad it had stung. And sure, most people got roasted in Who Meme’d It, especially with the lack of funeral roasts, but it didn’t really feel good to have your private crush on Spencer blasted to not only cast and crew, but whoever ends up watching this video. And his comment was making it seem more one-sided than you liked.

After the laughter settled down, Shayne got back to hosting. “Alright, who meme’d it! Was it Erin Dougal? Courtney? Or Y/N themselves?” You made a silly face when Brennan panned to you, channeling your best mad scientist look. Your face dropped immediately after. No one saw it.

The cast members debated for a second before writing down their answers. It was Courtney across the board. “Alright, so we all think Courtney made this meme. Angela, what makes you think it was Courtney?” 

“Shayne, that’s a great question, thank you so much for being here with me today. I said Court because I have seen them having little whisper sessions with Y/N and I simply don’t trust like that!” Angela laughed, a bright smile on her face. She winked at you once the camera had moved away from her face. She was actually your go-to confidant, and you were sure she knew that. She was your best friend, behind Spencer, after all.

After a dramatic pause, it was revealed that Erin Dougal was the one who made the meme. You could have called that from a mile away, but that was because Erin was constantly telling you to ask Spencer out. You shot her down every time, knowing it was safer and easier to suffer in silence with your feelings rather than to possibly fuck everything up with your best friend. Besides, suffering in silence was what you were best at.

//

And now, a few months later, you were the one in front of the camera for a Who Meme’d It. It was your first time actually competing, although you’ve sent your fair share of memes in. Spencer and Angela were the only two people to continuously guess you correctly, which in the grand scheme of things made the most sense as they were your closest friends at Smosh. However, you were now competing against both of them, and your competitive side didn’t have a concept of “friendship”, unfortunately. 

“Okay! Welcome back to Who Meme’d It! Today we have Angela, Y/N, and Spencer competing. And Y/N is quite competitive so let’s hope they still have their best friends after this!” Shayne introduced you all, smiling at you to ease your anxiety. 

“Lest we forget what happened when they were on Don’t Win Mario Party and nearly killed me,” Spencer said, turning towards you with his hands folded on the table. His eyes were smiling, but he was trying his best to keep a serious face.

You turned to face him, mirroring his expression and hands. “Lest we forget you deserved that attack because you fucked with my controller mid-lap so that you could get seventh.”

“Okay, are we doing Who Meme’d It or the Newlywed Game?” Angela joked, and you and Spencer returned to your normal positions, excited to play.

//

After the shoot, Spencer caught up with you in the kitchen. “You got your first Who Meme’d It win, how’s it feel?” You had indeed won, but only by two points. Spencer was right behind you and Angela frankly tanked it this episode. Usually she wasn’t too bad, but perhaps she knew how competitive you were going to be and decided to focus more on having fun instead of winning. Especially considering there was content being made that needed to be entertaining.

“Eh, I feel like my competitiveness isn’t very fun on camera. I’m hoping we don’t have to scrap the ep simply because I was too locked in.” You grabbed some fruit from the fridge and prepared to make your way to a table so you could sit and destress before your next shoot. You weren’t needed on set for over an hour so you were ready to mindlessly doomscroll while you snacked on your peaches.

Spencer chuckled at your comment, which made your heart flutter a bit. Suddenly, you had the urge to touch him. You put your hand on his shoulder, mostly unconsciously, not actively making the decision but simply just doing it. His giggling stopped instantly, and he looked at your hand cryptically, his expression unreadable. All too suddenly, it felt too serious, too personal, so you instantly pivoted. “But at least you didn’t win, right?” You smiled, patting his shoulder and turning to head to your seat. 

You were hoping, for the first time ever if you were being honest, that he wouldn’t follow you. Things had been weird between you two for a few weeks now, and you almost wanted some space to deal with the pain of your best friend seeming to lose interest in your friendship. And once again, Erin had submitted a meme that made you a little upset. You knew it was unreasonable to be upset with her, as it was all in good fun and she wasn’t actually trying to hurt your feelings. You should probably try to talk to her about that, since you knew she wouldn’t take your upset personally.

This one was arguably worse than the first one though, because instead of it being at your expense, it was technically at Spencer’s. The meme wasn’t mean in any regard, but it was making fun of Spencer for consistently getting “lost in his thoughts” whenever you were on a shoot together. Of course, Erin alluded to those thoughts being romantic in nature, which earned a few oohs and aahs from the crew and cast alike. You had felt your face get warm and tried to remind yourself you were on camera and it was all in good fun. 

Your thoughts were interrupted by Courtney approaching you. “Y/N, Spence! Just the two people I wanted to see. I have a question for you guys.” 

Clearly, Spencer had intended on following you, since Courtney had greeted you both. You sighed as quietly as possible, before asking Court if you could sit down before you all got to talking. Your castmates followed you to a table, and you popped a piece of fruit in your mouth. “Okay, what's up?” 

“Well, we wanted to do a Guitar Hero stream next week. I know you haven't been on any of the livestreams, so I figured I’d ask if you wanted to be in this one. You don't have to play but if you sit and make commentary I’m sure that'll be enough! But of course you can play if you want to.” Courtney was always so thoughtful, and you made a mental note to thank her for always being so considerate. 

“Oh hell yeah, I finally get to show off my guitar skills. It’s been a minute since I’ve played, but if Y/N’s down, I’m down!” Spencer’s eyes lit up. He had been trying to figure out a way to impress you and gauge your reaction before he finally took the leap and asked you on a date.

Everyone had been encouraging him to do so for months at this point, but he still wasn’t so sure about it. Yeah, you blushed whenever he mentioned you on camera and you blushed a lot during the shoot today when Erin’s meme came up. But some part of him felt like that had less to do with reciprocating a crush and more to do with embarrassment. 

You thought for a minute, munching on your peach slice. “Sure, that sounds fun. Spencer, maybe you could teach me how to play?”

Spencer broke out in a grin, “Of course I can. Although I’m surprised you’ve never played it before, it’s an iconic franchise.”

Courtney worked out a few more details with the two of you before making their way back to their pod. When she had left, Spencer turned his attention back to you. “Have you seriously never played Guitar Hero before?” He genuinely was having trouble believing that.

Truthfully, you had played before. Many times. And you were actually quite skilled at it. But it’s been quite some time since you picked up and played it, and you knew you would be rusty. Plus, you were mentally hatching a plan. Have Spence “teach” you the game, play extremely badly the whole time, then on stream you can kick his ass on Expert mode. Perfect plan.

“I have not. I might have played once or twice as a kid but I don’t really remember the controls or, like, speed, since I know some of the songs are really fast.”

“Okay, do you wanna come by my place tonight after work? I have a bunch of the Guitar Hero games but I also have Clone Hero which will probably be what we use on the stream anyway.”

Oh, right. Not-so-perfect plan. If you were to be taught, you needed to be taught before the livestream. Which means you had to hang out with Spencer outside of work. You can survive one night alone with him, right? You’ve done it so many times before. Sure, it’s been a few weeks since you guys hung out, and with your increasing feelings for him you were sure to be awkward. But it was Spencer! Your best friend in the whole world! It would be just fine. Right?

[lilacxquartz]

A SIGHT FOR SORE EYES

part 1 of 3 • mahito x reader

summary: following an accident that destroyed your vision, you begin to suspect that your boyfriend, your caretaker, was actually replaced by an imposter.

tags/themes: body horror, psychological horror, reader insert, disturbing themes, dead dove, dark

ao3 • masterlist • more series

1. Fade Away

The accident itself came out of nowhere.

All you could remember was the squeal of the tires and the slamming force that threw you forward against the dashboard. The glass around you held for maybe a second before it collapsed and fell like sharp, near lethal snow.

Soon after, darkness followed, but not the slow pull of sleep or even death, but quite literally something pitch black and devoid of colour that crept into your vision, or lack of.

Before you knew it, the world was taken away from you and as was your remaining hope.

Essentially, you were left unable to see.

At least maybe temporarily, or so the doctors had otherwise claimed, feeding you a false sense of promise that the light could one day return. Days, maybe weeks all blurred together in perpetual darkness otherwise, so it didn’t take too long for your hope to fade.

The recommendation was to wear eyepatches over your eyes, or rather, a dual patch to both protect your eyes as they heal as well to hopefully make the gradual return of vision not feel so overwhelming.

You hated the things if you were honest; the very feel of them resting atop your eyes only served as a mocking reminder of just how easy it was to ruin the course of your life within mere seconds.

Your boyfriend however, as sweet as he was, tried to see you through it all. His calm and kind voice was the only consistent thing throughout your entire experience. He was always there to guide you when you couldn’t find your way—telling you it was all going to be okay—even if that word no longer made sense to you.

What was it… to be okay anymore?

Everyday, you looked forward to his calming voice and his gentle touch, except for when you didn’t; at least not anymore.

It was a subtle shift in the air, but something had changed.

When he walked into the room, something about his presence felt off. He greeted you the same way that he did before and the sound of his voice was familiar enough, but there was a different quality to it. It wasn’t wrong, at least not exactly, but something about the way he spoke had suddenly felt unnatural.

The way he touched you felt slightly… off, too. His touches were usually light against your skin; yet whoever this was, seemed to apply an uncomfortable amount of weight against you.

The scent in the room, the scent of his cologne that he wore was the exact same, although it was certainly faint, as though stale.

Maybe you were just going insane…?

It wasn’t that unlikely, you supposed. The trauma was life altering enough and after being in a loop of total darkness for the last couple of weeks, it was highly probable that the very last strings of your sanity were finally on their last threads. This whole thing was disorienting enough, since you essentially lost what you knew as the entire world in just a matter of minutes, so maybe it was the case of your senses being elevated a little too much.

It was a possibility, right?

Your mind was probably to blame, playing sneaky and cruel little tricks on you and feeding into the exhausting paranoia of losing one of your most vital senses.

The feeling however still persisted deep down. It was a creeping unease that would sink to the depths of your stomach and bubble away into poorly digested yet festering doubt every time he would reunite with you.

His laughter, while soft and familiar, now carried a hollow tone. His breath felt somehow hotter, his words felt almost… rehearsed. Your heightened remaining senses be damned; you knew it in the core of your very being that you weren’t crazy for picking up on such things.

It was the way his footsteps walked down a methodical path on his way to be with you. or how he hesitated to say your name, instead calling you sickly sweet nicknames that he had otherwise never before in his life used on you.

It was strange, but the company of someone you supposedly had loved for the last five years, had become almost foreign to you.

At one point, you reached for his hand while lying down next to him in bed and your fingers grazed against his, only for you to pull back away in an instant. His soft palms were now calloused and you could feel strange sorts of sutures line up his wrist in brushing retaliation.

You continued to try and drill in the idea that this had to have been all in your head out of desperate delusion, hoping, praying even, that it was the fault of the darkness for twisting everything into something so vile.

But still, that nagging feeling persisted. It wasn’t fear clouding your judgement; it was an innate warning to trust your gut to understand that something was actually terribly wrong.

You didn’t dare question him however, because after all, this person—whoever he actually was—was the only one who had fed you, bathed you and cared for you. How could it not be him? You kept telling yourself that it had to be because you were otherwise stumped on all other plausible explanations.

Whoever it was that tucked themselves away next to you in bed and idly traced haunting patterns in your skin was not the person you once knew.

It was absolutely, without a doubt, someone else.

Someone pretending to be him.

~~~

The doctors had been cautiously optimistic concerning your recovery; a phone call with the person who had initially treated you had revealed that while the accident had been devastating, your future might not be in ruins just yet. With time and provided that you were correctly taking the medicine that your boyfriend had been giving you, you should actually begin to heal.

There were signs to look out for in your returning vision; flickers of light, passing shadows and the like. They warned you that it might at times seem alarming, but it was all positive; a sign of healing, if you were lucky enough.

And much to your delight, you started to indeed notice hints of your vision returning after a while. Exercised moments without the eye patches would reveal partial sight in the form of colourful blurring patches manifesting within your view. It was something so little yet so hopeful, but you couldn’t help but cling to the fleeting glimpses of colour that painted your vision with almost elated anticipation.

Anything but constant darkness.

If you could at least see colour, even if it wasn’t so clear, then suddenly the future wasn’t as bleak as before.

Yet, every time you thought you were getting better, the progress would soon slip away every time he visited.

Just like the initial shift, it all started subtly. The brief casted moments of light would be stolen from you the second that he left the apartment, leaving you behind in a suddenly plunged black void and whenever you would mention this in a call to the doctors, they were simply perplexed. According to them, if you were seeing positive changes in your vision, then it should be improving—not deteriorating.

They told you that they would arrange for your partner to pick up a changed strain for the medication, hoping that an adjustment to your treatment should guide you in the correct direction.

But try as you might, the pattern continued to repeat itself, again and again.

You would heal and then the lights would go out.

You could have sworn that it was his doing somehow, even if the assigned blame was insane in its own right. With every touch from his tainted fingertips, he would somehow weaken you despite being otherwise gentle. It was so odd, because it was like he eluded poison from every stroke against the contours of your flesh.

You soon grew to fear contact with him as a result; dreading any sort of contact with the impostor who claimed to be your lover, lest he would damage you again. It was as though every time his fingertips brushed against your skin, he changed something about you and with every recurring visit, it only got worse.

You kept trying to talk to him about it, hoping that his once warm personality would return and tell you that you were wrong about your assumptions but you never got such comfort.

Again and again, you would ask him something of the same sort of variation, “I’m getting worse, aren’t I?”

But there would be no comfort that followed.

“Don’t be silly,” he would often taunt, almost, his words always so playful as they flicked off of his tongue with hidden venom. “Why would you feel worse, huh? That’s so funny to me, because you shouldn’t. I’m taking such good care of you, silly. You should be feeling better.”

His voice was soft when he spoke too, like smooth dripping honey against your weary ears. “Maybe you’ve got it all wrong, even. You’re feeling worse from me not being around. Don’t worry though, I’ll keep you running, safe and sound.”

His words were now more erratic, almost playful. He no longer carried the same patterns that your partner once did with his speech. You wanted nothing more than to pull away from this monster—because that’s what he must have been—to escape from him, to scream at him to leave you alone because how dare he pretend to be someone you loved?

And yet you didn’t.

You couldn’t.

Instead, you did nothing, resigning yourself to just sitting there, laying there as he would continue to purr falsely planted reassurances into your ears with promises that you prayed that he would not keep.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere,” he would say, “I’ll be right here, always. Watching every last bit of you unravel—I mean heal. We’re in this together, right? I’ll stay with you until there’s nothing left—I mean, until you’re fixed right up.”

You could only sigh and endure, the ache behind your eyes getting gradually worse, as if something was pushing and pulling inside of your skull somehow; messing around internally, poking and prodding in places that should have remained untouched.

It didn’t take long for your body to feel wrong, like it wasn’t put together correctly anymore.

Like it didn’t belong to you anymore.

You could have sworn that your skull was contorting under your skin, slowly twisting and waning through whatever pressure his passing touch would apply.

Sometimes, late at night (or what you assumed to be night), you would lie awake and feel things moving inside of you; slowly, and deliberately—as though something was crawling beneath your flesh.

And all you could do was just sit there.

Broken, blind and waiting for the next visit.

For the next time that this thing wearing your boyfriend’s persona would return and wrap its hands around your body once again, uttering sweet little lies while tearing you apart from the inside.

“It’s all gonna be okay,” he would murmur or rather, mock, “I’m here for you, after all.”

But it wasn’t going to be okay.

That much you did know.

In fact, you had a very good idea that nothing was ever going to be okay ever again.

[momotonescreaming]

All the things I would do

Rating: M | WC: 5.5k | Evan Buckley/Tommy Kinard Relationship Study, Kissing, Mild Smut [Read on AO3]

Buck loved having sex in the loft. He loved having sex with Tommy in the loft.

The way he could drag Tommy upstairs by his hand, fingers entwined, no walls or doors in the way to slow them down. The way he could fall backwards onto his mattress, sending Tommy tumbling on top of him with a playful tug of his hand, falling into place easily. Large thighs bracketing his hips, keeping him pinned, held in place — not that Buck wants to leave when Tommy has him like that.

Hand curling around Tommy’s waist, around his neck, pulling him even closer as Buck smiles into a kiss. His boyfriend (boyfriend!) falling into it naturally, almost entirely in sync. Letting himself be pulled, pinning Buck where he wants him. Bracing himself on the mattress to kiss and kiss and kiss Buck.

Buck’s had sex in the loft before, it’s a fact, logically he knows that it’s technically no different than when he was with Ali or Taylor or Natalia. That Buck and Taylor would hurry upstairs with the same desire and rush to have sex that he and Tommy do.

But it feels different. More. Better. Unlike anything else he’s experienced before.

Like he’s a giddy teenager experiencing dating for the first time combined with the freedom and experience of an adult. Maybe it’s just better with Tommy.

Tommy, who was better than Buck could have possibly dreamed.

Who took his whole world and flipped it upside down. Opened his eyes. He was free and he was Tommy’s. He had a boyfriend who was cool with this being his first relationship with a man (once he had gotten over the initial hurdle and panic, which, fair, Buck felt terrible about it too) because they both knew he was in this with Tommy. He wasn’t one hundred percent sure of what he was ready for — he told Tommy as much — but he meant it when he said he was ready for something with Tommy. He liked Tommy, he wanted to be around him, he wanted to explore what dating this incredible man meant.

This incredible man who was cool with whatever pace Buck wanted or needed to set — whether he wanted to slow down or speed up. Buck wanted to explore it all with Tommy.

Who’s always checking in, making sure Buck’s alright, and it never feels condescending. Partly because Buck actually really appreciates a partner doing that for him, showing that they care and don’t want to pressure him into something he’s maybe not ready for just yet. But also partly because he now knows that Tommy needs it as well. To be the partner he never had when he first came out. Not to say that he doesn’t listen to Buck when he says yes, he’s sure. He wants this. He’s ready. Because Tommy listens when he talks, really listens, and takes him at his word when he says he wants more, they can progress.

So they were taking it at Buck’s pace, and Buck couldn’t be happier. So was Tommy, if what he was telling Buck was any indication. The way he looked at him. And why wouldn’t it be. Tommy kept looking at him with happy, crinkly smiles that took over his whole face. With soft, tender gazes that made Buck feel like he was about to melt on the spot.

When Buck said that all he wanted to do was make out like teenagers, groping on his couch with no intention of going any further — Tommy said of course. And he was a very willing participant. Letting Buck explore his lips, his tongue, the way that he kissed him. Kissing him back. Feeling Tommy’s 5 o’clock shadow against his chin, stubble scratching against stubble. Resisting the urge to lick a hot, wet line in the cleft of Tommy’s chin. Muscled shoulders underneath his grasping hands. Sighing and moaning into Tommy’s mouth at every little reminder about just how masculine Tommy is. And just how into it Buck is. A part of Buck wonders why it took him so long to realise that this was something he was into.

Sharp cheekbones and a jaw so chiselled it was like he was made from marble. Short hair and muscles bigger than his. Buck finds himself moaning the first time he gets pinned underneath his boyfriend and realises that if anything, he’s the smaller one in the relationship. They’re the same height, both muscled, but Tommy’s just slightly broader, with a thick chest and biceps as big as his head. He kind of wants to bite him about it.

It feels easy with Tommy, natural, but not like he’s just falling into it with him like when Buck was in his other relationships. Less like he’s being whisked away in someone else’s current and more like he’s going with the flow. Together. He was choosing Tommy and Tommy was choosing him back. It was an easy decision to make. Like he was talking about with Eddie — they just clicked.

He wants to explore everything with him.

Tommy sent him his first ever dick pic, and it was kind of insane how good it was. Blew his fucking mind. He felt like a teenager again with how horny it made him. He remembers it vividly, Buck lounging on his brand new couch, flipping through channels for something to watch, texting Tommy. His boyfriend recently back from shift in his own house and starting to unwind. Took a shower to clean off the day, got changed, and so Buck flirted a little. Maybe asked for a picture. He felt all giddy and little ridiculous as he did it, excitement bubbling up in his chest as Tommy actually sent a photo back.

Reclined into his mattress, one arm resting above his head, gently flexing. Hair all tousled and curling at the nape of his neck where it was still damp from his shower. He was shirtless, because of course he was, camera angled to show off the full expanse of his torso. Showing off his abs, his scar, his pecs, that Buck definitely wanted to bite. Tommy knows what he’s doing, all casual and cool and Buck really can’t get enough of it. He also kind of wanted to make it the lockscreen on his phone, if he wasn’t sure Eddie and Hen and the rest of the 118 would tease him for it as soon as they caught sight of it.

So, biting lip, Buck sent a photo back. Tried to pose in such a way that was flirty, fun and sexy without him looking like a total fuckboy. Although, Buck thought — Tommy would probably like it if he flexed his bicep or lifted his shirt to show off his abs. Posed like a frat boy, just a little. Because he knows that Tommy’s into him. Doesn’t have to worry about sending a photo that’s too much too fast.

It was exciting, exchanging those photos that got sexier and sexier with each click. Buck unbuttoning his shirt, his jeans. While Tommy tugged at the waistband of his sweatpants. Shucking his pants down his thighs as Tommy sent a photo of him palming himself through the thin fabric of his grey sweats, dick tenting the fabric. And fuck, what Buck wouldn’t give to see that in person. He’d seen people online talk about hot guys in grey sweats before, not thinking much about it, but he gets it now. Slowly starting to forget about angles and flexing his muscles, trying to take the best possible photo for Tommy and focusing on just how fucking hot he felt. Pulse racing, breath coming heavier, excitement running through him. How he wanted to show Tommy just how much he was effecting him.

He was sexting a guy. His boyfriend, even. It was fucking exciting. Invigorating.

And then Buck got his first ever dick pic, and he shamelessly jacked off to thoughts of Tommy in the middle of his living room couch. Didn’t even make it upstairs. Didn’t even think about the possibility of anyone barging into his apartment. Was so caught up in the sight of Tommy — all of him, and damn there was a lot— in the thought of what his dick might feel like in his hands, heavy and warm and velvety skin. What sounds Tommy would be making — moaning like he did in the hospital lobby, gasping and grunting as he got off to thoughts of Buck.

Shirt falling off his shoulders, unbuttoned and baring his naked chest. Pinned on only from the couch underneath him, fabric wrinkling. He didn’t care. Jeans stretched around his thighs, straining as he adjusted himself. Underwear pulled down just enough to expose himself, tucked under his cock, fabric damp with precome. He sent Tommy a photo of that too.

Things progressed easily from there. Buck was all in, no hesitation.

It was like that photo finally broke through the final wall of nerves sitting in Buck’s head — the one of Tommy fisting his hard cock, pretty and pink and leaking, just for Buck. Head thrown back on his bed, exposing the long lines of his neck. That while he was in this, and knew Tommy was hot, had been shamelessly jerking off to thoughts of Tommy — the reality of seeing a cock like that had him a little nervous. It was first. Having a photo made it easier, Buck thought afterwards, breaking through the anxiety of a first time and the what ifs swimming around in Buck’s head.

Tommy was hot. Buck was horny. And he had nothing to be worried about. The heat and the lust and the want rushed through Buck and swept all the anxiety away like a wave.

He wanted phone sex and to come in his pants dry humping with Tommy on the couch. Wanted to drag Tommy into the shower together and get his hands on him. Maybe drop to his knees and ask Tommy to teach him how to suck cock.

And Tommy was there every step of the way.

Dirty talking on the other side of the phone, voice deep and smooth and sending a shiver down Buck’s spine. Relationship still so new but Tommy still somehow knowing exactly what to say to make him groan. To feel the heat pooling inside him as Tommy tells him exactly how he’s going to take him apart. To tell Tommy how good he is at this, how perfect. Tell him about all the things he does to Buck — his racing heart, his stuttering words, wanton moaning into the phone.

Ready and willing to rut against Buck like a teenager, sloppily making out in the living room of Tommy’s house. Never once complaining about the denim of his jeans straining against him as they fuck fully clothed. Pinning Buck to his couch, sinking into the cushions, grinding their clothed cocks together. One hand in Tommy’s hair, mussing up his curls; the other raking down his back. Grasping at fabric, feeling the heat of him, the shifting lines of his muscles. Creeping lower to grab at his ass and swallowing Tommy’s moan as he does so. Writhing and rutting against each other until they came in their pants, and Buck was kind of obsessed of the feeling of Tommy pulsing against him, hot and sticky. It was so hot, they’ll definitely be doing that again if Buck has anything to say about it.

Not to say that’s all their relationship is — sex.

Buck finally got to go on that go karting date — at that track out in the desert he’d been talking about — where he had a lot of fun discovering that Tommy was very good at it, actually. Made sense, since he was very much a car guy. It was kind of a perfect date. Out in the sun, clear skies, doing something exciting with Tommy. Racing around the track, calling out and teasing everytime they passed each other. They made a day of it, going for a drive, Buck holding Tommy’s hand over the Jeep’s gear stick. His boyfriend’s large, calloused hand entwined with his, warm and comforting. He felt lighter on the way home, that now achingly familiar giddy-happiness sitting in his chest like honey. Buck drove home with a grin on his face, hand resting on Tommy’s thigh.

There were other dates of course, where they tried a mini golfing place down by the beach and quickly discovered that they were both sort of terrible at it. Spending hours walking through the park together, just talking and enjoying the fact that he was allowed to hold Tommy’s hand. They re-did their dinner date and actually made it to the movie, sneaking glances at each other in the dark of the theatre.

Tommy was taking him on hikes — at some local trails he frequented, where they were surrounded by nothing but nature and the cloudless sky. In a muscle tee with the sleeves cut off, and his familiar blue gym shorts, Tommy led them up the trail with a grin on his face and a backpack strapped to his back. Water bottle, bug spray, sunscreen, emergency first aid kit. It was nice to date someone who got it, another first responder, someone who was just as prepared as he was. The sun beat down on them as they hiked the trail, sun warming his skin until he felt like liquid gold. Talking about everything and nothing, about calls and documentaries Buck had watched. About what work Tommy was doing on his car and a little more about Harbour Station.

His muscles were warm and he was sweaty by the time they finished the trail, Tommy much the same as he drove them both back to Buck’s loft. Safe to say he was distracted on the ride home. He was sun warmed and sated, watching a bead of sweat drip Tommy’s neck as he sighed into the cool air of the Jeep’s AC. Licking his lips, trying very hard not to think about leaning over the centre console and licking it up. Feeling the saltiness on his tongue, the warmth of Tommy’s skin radiating out, the way his breath would hitch.

But Buck really doesn’t want to risk a car accident and have to call 911 — they’ll never hear the end of it. So he lets Tommy drive, watching him navigate the roads of LA with ease. One hand on the wheel, and the other burning hot as it rests on Buck’s thigh. And then, he invites Tommy back up to his loft with a flirty gaze and a coy tilt to his head. He really doesn’t want this date to end. Buck thinks he could spend hours with Tommy and never grow sick of it, never feel the itch that he needs space.

Tommy agrees.

So Buck spent the elevator ride up to his loft bouncing on the balls of his feet, biting his lip and trying to keep his hands to himself. He won’t be able to restrain himself otherwise, and he really doesn’t want to piss off his neighbours. Tommy gives him a knowing glance out of the corner of his eye, gaze raking over Buck’s body. That familiar smirk on his face. He doesn’t feel objectified, like Tommy’s just in it for his body, he feels wanted. Desired.

It feels like the beginning of something.

Sex might not be the only thing their relationship is — but it is an important part. Hell, Buck was a self proclaimed sex addict for a time. It took a lot of reflection, and a lot of talking through it in therapy, but Buck was now comfortable with the fact that him desiring sex, desiring that intimacy — isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Having a high sex drive isn’t a bad thing. There’s nothing wrong with needing that connection to another person. Unabashed and unashamed. And he wanted that with Tommy.

Buck wanted that connection, that closeness. He wanted to explore sex, explore his bisexuality — with Tommy. Whether it was hard and fast, hot and steamy, or slow and exploring. He wanted it all.

So as soon as they shut the front door to Buck’s loft behind them — they were on each other. Reaching for each other in tandem. Hands grasping at waists and sweaty shirts, Tommy throwing his backpack onto the floor and kissing Buck as soon as he’s free of it. Buck pulling Tommy towards him by his waist, wrinkling the fabric of his sweaty shirt — sending them slamming into the door behind him with the force of it.

He smiles into Tommy’s mouth as his boyfriend brings an arm up to brace himself on the door — using the leverage to slow their descent into the door, just slightly. His heart jumps as he realises what Tommy did — trying to stop Buck from slamming his head into the door — taking care of him, even now. Even still.

Buck slides his hands up Tommy’s shirt, feeling the heat of his skin pressing into the palms of his hands. Burning hot, it’s not enough. Skating along the hardened muscle, the sweat pooling on his lower back. He wraps an arm around him, pulling him closer, closer.

Closing his eyes as Tommy kisses him back. Leaving his arm braced on the door above them, bracketing Buck in, the other burning a hole in his side. All he can smell is sweat and salt and Tommy. There’s nowhere he’d rather be. Kissing him, and kissing him, and kissing him. Prying Tommy’s mouth open with his tongue, wet and hot. Dripping spit down his chin as he sucks on his tongue.

Tommy groans into his mouth, a low rumble, and he can feel every shake of it where their chests press together. Sticking together with sweat. If Buck was less horny, he’d maybe think about how gross they both were, sticky from hours in the sun. But he is, and Tommy is so fucking hot like this. Sweaty and gross and masculine. He grips the fabric of his shirt, and uses the leverage to pull Tommy’s hips into his. Thin fabric of their gym shorts leaving nothing to the imagination. Feeling every inch of him, the thick hard line of his cock.

Then it’s Buck’s turn to moan unabashedly as Tommy starts to gently rut against him. Mouth dropping to his neck as Buck tilts his gaze towards the roof of the loft. Eyes fluttering open, gasping for air, letting his gasps and moans filter out into the open air.

A giggle escapes him. They’re still pressed to his front door.

Tommy slows, pressing wet kisses down his neck. Along the curve and lines of his jaw. Taking his time with each one, deep but not enough to leave marks. Buck finds himself pushing up Tommy’s shirt, exposing his bare chest as he ruts against him.

“Tommy,” he moans, the word shuddering as he exhales, and there must be something in his voice because Tommy pauses. Pulls away from Buck’s neck, leaving behind a hot wet mark that cools in the open air. Buck would pout at the loss of contact if they weren’t pressed together as close as they are.

Tilting his head, raising an eyebrow in that way he does, Tommy looks at him. Mouth twitching up at the corners. He can see how spit-slick and pink they are. He really wants to kiss him again. “Evan.”

“Why’d you stop?” Buck says, smiling. Panting through the words, heat of his skin cooling in the summer air. Running his hands up Tommy’s sides, along the lines and curves of his muscles. Dipping lower, enjoying every inch of their clothed cocks pressing together. Tilting his head to catch Tommy’s gaze, eyes shining. He still feels all giddy and bubbly inside. The heat and desire boiling up with this undercurrent of sheer joy. “I thought we had something good going.”

“We do.” Tommy says simply, smoothly, smiling softly back at Buck as if he has no idea what he’s doing to him. Bringing his hand down from the door above them, dropping to cradle Buck’s face. Hold his haw in his hand, thumb running in gentle circles. Calloused thumb scratching against his stubble. It’s a good sound. “But I was just wondering if we’d be more comfortable in that big fancy shower of yours. There’s room for two, isn’t there?”

“There is now,” Buck says giddily, the smooth tone of Tommy’s voice washing over him, rolling through him. Sending a shiver down his spine, straight to his thickening cock. He’s sure Tommy can feel it. Good. He loves it when Tommy puts the moves on him, and loves being able to show him exactly how much.

He grabs Tommy’s hand, laughing giddily as he pulls them both into the bathroom. Tommy’s chucking behind him, fingers entwined with his. Kicking the door behind them, slamming shut, but neither flinch at the sound.

Tugging gently on their entwined hands, Tommy pulls Buck back into his orbit, reaching out with his other hand to rest on his hip. Steadying them. Bodies pressed together, still warm and sweaty, but the red-hot urgency is cooling.

Buck can go at Tommy’s pace, too. It’s nice, when Tommy lets himself set the lead like this, when he knows it’s something Buck’s into and comfortable with. He bites his bottom lip, plush and pink, drawing Tommy’s eyes down as he gently brings their hips together again. Not moving, not writhing and grinding like he wants to, just pressing the lengths of them together. “Hi.”

“Hi, yourself.” Tommy says back, voice just on the edge of teasing. Buck kind of really wants to keep kissing him. So he does. Eyes fluttering shut as he brings their lips together again, hand resting on the back of Tommy’s head, tangling through his sweat-damp curls. He moans into Tommy’s mouth, deepening the kiss, when Tommy pulls back.

Buck chases his lips with his, almost subconsciously, already so caught up in the feeling of Tommy’s kisses. He’s sort of addicted already, ever since that fateful day in the middle of the loft. What can he say, Tommy’s a good kisser. Good enough to flip his whole world on his head. Open his eyes. Tommy chuckles gently at Buck chasing his lips, gently rubbing his thumb in circles at Buck’s waist.

“Wanna get the shower going for us, baby?” Tommy says, voice deepening as his eyes lock with Buck’s. Squeezing their entwined hands as he takes a step back, increasing the space in between them. Hands anchoring them together, even still, and Buck appreciates it. His heart jumps in his chest as he squeezes back.

“Oh yeah?” Buck flirts, eyes shining as he looks over at Tommy, shining under the overhead lights of the bathroom. “And what are you gonna do?”

“Well I don’t know about you,” Tommy teases, releasing Buck’s hand and smiling. A coy little tilt to his mouth, shining eyes. “But I figured I’d start here.”

And then he’s locking eyes with Buck, gaze darkening, as he reaches an arm behind his head to grip at his shirt and pull it over his head. Buck watches the shifting his muscles as he rolls out his shoulders, the grin on Tommy’s face as he shakes out his hair. As he puts on a little show knowing that Buck is watching.

Trailing down the length of his body, his pecs — shining with sweat, his abs, the trail of hair that dips below his shorts. Buck licks his lips, smirking back at his boyfriend.

“You sure I can’t just stay right here?” Buck teases with a tilt of his head. Angles his body, flexes his restless hands. “Keep watch. Make sure you don’t hurt yourself. I-I’m a firefighter, you know?”

Tommy huffs out a laugh, face crinkling up in that now achingly familiar way as he throws his damp shirt to the ground. Neither of them watch to see where it lands. “I’ll be fine. You can look all you want later.”

“You promise?” Buck flirts, deepening his voice and eyes darkening as he roams his gaze over Tommy’s naked torso.

"I promise," he says, smirking back over at his boyfriend. Teasing. Flirting. Just the way Buck likes.

"I'm gonna hold you to to that," Buck teases back, delaying the inevitable moment where he rips his gaze away from Tommy. From his now exposed chest, the sweaty tanned planes of his skin. Exposed and tempting. He bites his lip, eyes wandering over Tommy one last time. Drinks in the sight of him, the feel of his gaze locked with his.

He eventually gives in and turns to the shower. Opens the door and turns the water on, fidgeting with the controls. Trying to find the sweet pot between too hot and too cold.

Tommy, Buck was learning, was almost always cold. Always wearing an undershirt, or had a jacket thrown over his outfit. Always had a throw blanket draped over the back of his couch, or pulled over his legs. Thrived in the hot summer sun, and loved his showers scorching hot.

Buck was fine with the cold. If anything, the LA sun was an adjustment for him. Was walking around in shirts when everyone else was donning long sleeves. Layers. Found there was nothing wrong with a cool refreshing shower.

Hence, the need to find the sweet spot between not too hot, and not too cold. Logically Buck knew as soon as they were both in the shower together their attention would be drawn away from as something as simple as temperature. Towards sweat and skin and the heat of their bodies pressed together. But he couldn't help but try. Try and make it good for Tommy, for himself, for the both of them together. Find the sweet spot that worked for the both of them.

He wanted to make it work.

Logically he knows that it’s just a shower, that they’ll be distracted soon anyway, but he can’t help but want to make it good for Tommy. Make the water a little hotter than normal, just for him. Show Tommy that he wants to take care of him too, that he’s learning things about Tommy and he wants to keep learning.

There’s a rustle of clothes behind him, a squeak of shoes against tiled floors, barely audible over the sound of the now running shower. Buck bites his lip, barely holding back a grin, as he dutifully continues adjusting the water. Arm reaching in, feeling the water run over his hand. Wet and heating up quickly.

He’s barely focusing on the water. Letting the rush of water splashing against tile wash over him like white noise, absently adjusting the temperature and pressure of the water as he focuses on the sounds behind him. Of Tommy toeing off his shoes and peeling off his socks, placing them in a pile by the door. In that way Buck is noticing he almost always does. His stomach swoops at the thought — that Tommy’s been around enough for Buck to start to notice more of his habits.

Then Buck swears he hears the sound of Tommy’s gym shorts hitting the floor, and he can’t hold back the sharp inhale of air. Warm and cloying with steam, holding in his lungs.

Buck makes himself keep looking at the shower.

Hair at the back of his neck standing on end, goosebumps rolling down his arm as he feels Tommy’s presence behind him. Sweaty, naked, so fucking hot — and Buck’s not looking at him. The unspoken rule that they’ve created, when Tommy took the lead and told him to turn around. Start the shower.

Heat pooling low in his gut, that familiar itch burning underneath his skin, Buck’s in the middle of giving in and turning around anyway when he feels it. His hands on his waist, thick and calloused and burning into his side through the thin fabric of his shirt. Breath hitching as he feels the sheer presence of Tommy behind him.

Tilting his head to try and get a look at his boyfriend behind him, holding in place as Tommy slowly presses closer to him. He catches a glimpse of him smirking, face crinkling up in that way it does, before Tommy squeezes his waist and closes the distance between them.

Buck gasps as he feels Tommy press up behind him, all hard muscles and sweaty skin. Calloused hands holding him tight as Tommy’s cock presses up against his ass. One hand still braced in the shower, feeling the rush of water; the other reaching backwards to try and get a hold of any part of Tommy. To press him even closer, to feel his skin burning into his.

Now that he has this, now that he knows this about himself, Buck really doesn’t know how he didn’t realise this earlier. His attraction to men, and masculinity, and the way it made him feel. Broad shoulders and hands larger than his. Hard muscles and hairy bodies.

But a part of him actually really likes that Tommy was the one who helped him realise. That he’s not just attracted to men, he’s attracted to Tommy. He likes Tommy’s broad shoulders and mechanics hands. His muscles and the snail trail that leads down his abdomen. He likes his short hair and 5 o’clock shadow. He likes the way Tommy makes him feel. He likes the way Tommy shows up for him. To dinner, and to the café, and to hopefully many more.

He really likes the way Tommy is now kissing down his throat, leaving wet marks in his wake. Hands still on his waist, body pressed against him, enveloping his. Buck groans, tilts his head to give Tommy more room, and starts to rut backwards.

“I can’t help but feel,” Buck gasps, as Tommy nips at his skin and quickly soothes the mark with his tongue. “That I’m overdressed.”

“Oh you are, are you?” Tommy murmurs into his skin, and he can feel the sounds vibrating through them, rumbling his chest. “I can fix that.”

And the his hands are dipping lower, skating along his sides before pushing up the hem of his shirt. Achingly slow at first, skin on skin contact sending a shiver down Buck’s spine. Calloused hands sending out sparks. That itch under his skin building again, rising and burning with each inch of skin Tommy touches.

His boyfriend laughs behind him, calls him impatient, before kissing his neck again. And then they’re stripping him down, faster now, hands on waists and chests and grasping at fabric. Tommy pulling off his shirt and Buck kicks off his shoes, not caring where they land. He thinks he absently hears them thump on the wall before Tommy gets his hands on his shorts and all of a sudden Buck is very distracted.

He absently thinks how hot it would be if Tommy just ripped his shorts right off his body, as he grips onto the shower while Tommy slides his shorts and his underwear down his legs in one fell swoop. Hands gripping the waistbands, fingers curled under the elastic, pressed into his bare skin.

As soon as he’s free he grabs Tommy’s wrist and pulls, sending the two of them tumbling into the shower. Water burning hot, soothing worn out muscles and sweaty skin. Tommy dutifully following behind, closing the door behind him.

They instantly forget about the water. Focusing on sweat and skin and soap and their two bodies pressing together. Water soaked kisses where their spit mixes with the spray of the shower. Slick bodies moving in tandem, and yet rooted to the spot.

Tommy’s planting his feet and bracing an arm on the wall behind Buck. He’s making sure they don’t slip, that Buck’s safe in his arms. And if anything, that’s what drives Buck to determination. To grasp their cocks in one hand, to want to make Tommy gasp and moan and grunt as he comes apart.

He loves the noises Tommy makes. Cataloguing them in his head, making note of what he can do to pull a noise out of Tommy. Figuring out what he likes and what he loves. The exploration, the figuring things out has always been a favourite part of sex for Buck. He’s a good fuck, he knows this, but it’s the exploring what his partners like and wants is what really drives him. It’s not enough to be a good fuck in general, he wants to be a good fuck to them.

To Tommy.

He wants to be good for Tommy. To hear him groan and moan Buck’s name. To hear him say perfect, and right there, just like that, and you’re so good to me Evan.

There’s going to be a lot of soft, tender sex in their future, Buck knows this for certain. Doesn’t even have to ask. Tommy will pick him up and carry him upstairs like he weighs nothing, gently lowering him down onto his bed, gaze soft and loving. They’re going to fuck face to face, so Buck can hold Tommy’s hand and they can kiss each other senseless. Slow and sensual, the two of them sinking into the moment as they sink into each other. Kissing all the words that are too soon to say into each other’s mouths.

Buck can’t fucking wait.

[tinystarbites]

accidents pt. 1.5 | Spencer Reid x Reader

Okay so, WOW. I am completely blown away by the response to my first fic on here, 120 followers in 6 days are you guys okay? Because I am definitely not :,). While accidents pt. II isnt quite finished just yet (thank you so much for being so patient with me<3 uni is kicking my ass already rip), I thought I'd give you all a small sneak peek, aka the first 800-ish words of the second part. I hope you enjoy and thank you all so so much for the generous feedback so far!! <333 I'll go rewatch my genetics lecture now yippie :,,,,)

here you can read the entire first part, please head the warnings! Same ones apply here. also, if you wanna get tagged in pt. II, let me know in the comments!

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Spencer’s never sprung from his bed faster in his life before.

His heart is a jackhammer in his chest, chipping away at his ribs one bone splitter at a time because-

It’s you. In front of his door. And Spencer is so hard it hurts but- he can’t just-

“Spencer?”

He sucks in a haggard breath, hands reaching up and messing up his hair even more. His thoughts are everywhere and nowhere at once and he just needs to- needs just a moment to-

“Uh, yeah, just a second!”, he calls back, voice scratchy and used from the- the moaning Jesus Christ because he was about to come with your mental image and he somehow, magically, managed to apparently conjure you up in front of his door with his pathetic pining and oh god-

He has to- ugh- has to wash his hands and make it go away and –

“Okay, I’ll just…chill with that weird plant here.”

An overwhelmed whimper slips past his lips and he just, stands there for at least another five seconds before something in his mind snaps back into place and he rushes to the small, adjacent bathroom of his room.

After he thoroughly washed his hands, his erection has flagged off enough so that it’s not the first thing greeting you when he opens the door and thank god for that.

And oh- seeing you after doing that actually knocks the wind out of his lungs because you are just so goddamn lovely it makes Spencer want to do stupid, stupid things like cry or kiss you or spontaneously combust into a million pieces.

For once, he does something okay-ishly sensible though.

“Hi.”

You look at him, one eyebrow raised in amusement or scepticism, he doesn’t know for sure. Your eyes hold mirthful sparkles in them when he finally manages to meet your gaze, so he settles for the former of the two options.

You’re not wearing your work clothes anymore. Rather, you went for a cozy looking, oversized sweater and funkily patterned leggings. Your fashion sense outside of work always reminded Spencer of Penelope’s.

“Hi to yourself”, you chuckle, “Can I come in or are you too busy reading ten books at once?”

Spencer feels himself flush under your gentle teasing.

“Only seven books. But, yes, of course you can come in.”

He turns out of the way, creating room for you to pass him into his room. As soon as you are inside, you don’t hesitate to jump onto his bed and flop on your back with your arms spread wide.

Spencer’s breath hitches and he has to do some very extensive mental gymnastics to supress all the inappropriate thoughts from escaping the box he banished them into. Controlling his body’s response to seeing you in the same bed he was just jacking off in is… a different story. He pulls down the hem of his shirt as discreetly as possible, as he takes a seat next to you. Making sure that there is not too much distance between you two as to raise any suspicion and make it obvious he’s trying to get some distance between you, but also enough space so that he isn’t enticed to do anything unwise. Like, reach out and feel your warmth underneath his fingers. Or the softness of your skin. Or anything else really.

The more seconds tick by in which neither of you say anything, the more nervous Spencer becomes. He starts fiddling around with his fingers, aborting more than one move to steal a glance at your face to see what you’re thinking.

“Spencer”, you then finally say, voice kind of pout-y and if that didn’t make Spencer whip his head around to face you, the next thing you say for sure does. “Do you hate me?”

“Wha-“, he sputters your name, “No- no! Of course, I don’t- whe- why would you think that?”

You let out an exasperated groan, moving around until you are lying on your side, head propped up on your arm and frowning up at him. “Because you’ve been acting hella weird these last few days and you won’t tell me whyyyy”, you drag out the last syllable, pout on your lips and Spencer has to look up at the ceiling or else he’s just going to confess everything without second thought and that will definitely not happen.

“I haven’t been acting weird, really, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

You remain silent again and Spencer feels the judging glare you send his way without having to look at you. Yes, he has been acting weird, he knows that, but you can never ever know the reason why tha-

“Is it because you saw my nudes?”

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oh spencer, you weren't quite as subtle as you thought. rip my boy. also whooops another cliffhanger? haha my fingers must've slipped my bad

tags: @sebastiansstanswhore @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx

[lexirosewrites]

Hiii! A Slick Sunday idea I've been stewing on:

Omega!Steve is unhappily mated to Alpha!Tommy, who was happy to take advantage of the Harrington connection and got himself a swanky job at Steve’s dad’s business right out of school. Tommy used to be a good friend, but he changed as they got older and being mated to him is really not the domestic dream that Steve had once hoped for. Still, Steve is trying to make the best of it; Tommy is nice enough, if arrogant and a bit neglectful, but he travels frequently for work. They are actively trying for a baby—Tommy always makes sure to be home for Steve’s heats, the only time he can get pregnant—but no luck after many months.

As a wealthy Alpha who wants to seem attentive, Tommy signs Steve up for an Omega-tending service when he’s out of town; Steve gets a daily visit from one of their Alphas who scents him and knots him, helping to keep him calm and happy while his mate is away. Steve isn’t all that thrilled with the idea, but he recognizes that Tommy is doing something nice for him—Omegas whose Alphas can’t afford it have to make do with toys and artificial scents—so he tries to be appreciative.

Alpha!Eddie is a local mechanic who sometimes makes extra cash as an Omega-tender; it’s good money, works with his shifts, and yeah, he gets to knot pretty, posh Omegas that would never look his way otherwise. But his first visit with Steve absolutely blows all those other Omegas out of the water; after their first session, he immediately calls the service and requests to be put on all further appointments with Steve.

Over time they grow closer and closer; each time Eddie comes for an “official” visit he lingers for a little longer, and Steve finds himself pining for Eddie even when his mate is home. Tommy, for his part, doesn’t seem to care if Steve or his nest smell like Eddie every time he comes back—as far as he’s concerned, Eddie’s keeping his mate happy and Tommy doesn’t have to deal with all of Steve’s clingy, sappy nonsense. He starts traveling even more often and for longer stretches.

A few months into this arrangement Tommy calls Steve when he’s out of town to tell him that he’ll be extending his trip by a couple of weeks and that he already signed Steve up for more visits from his usual Omega-tender. Steve haltingly reminds Tommy that his heat is next week and that he could get pregnant if he spends it with a different Alpha. Convinced that their fertility troubles are entirely on Steve’s side, Tommy dismisses his concerns and hangs up.

So Steve and Eddie spend their first amazing heat together and naturally Steve conceives right away. He and Eddie are thrilled, but also terrified of what Tommy will do when he comes home and finds his mate pregnant by another Alpha. Eddie stays at the house when Tommy arrives, determined to defend his baby and his mate-in-all-but-name.

In the end, though, when Tommy comes home he couldn’t care less that Steve’s pregnant. Turns out his trips weren’t strictly business after all; he’s been seeing another Omega on the side and knocked them up. He’s more than happy to dissolve their mating and leave Steve and his baby with Eddie. The hefty sum Steve is entitled to from his pre-nup sets him and Eddie up well, ready to start their family and new life together.

Thanks for running Slick Sunday, it’s always a lot of fun! 💜💜

there’s something extra satisfying about steddie being set up by steve’s own mate!🤭 of course tommy doesn’t care if his omega is getting tended to by another alpha since he’s already moved on, but at least he gave steve the opportunity to have the family and love that he deserves!!❤️

[krispycreamcake]

hello! I really like your writing! If you don't mind may I please request headcanons on how laito would react to someone (a bride or classmate or something) who always tried to make him laugh by telling him jokes and stuff. please and thank you!

Headcanons on how Laito would react to someone always trying to cheer him up

🃏- Now everyone knows Laito is always in the mood for fun

🃏- Well to be fair, his fun and other people's fun are two entirely different types of fun

🃏- Usually he likes to mentally mess with you, tease your mind, make your head spin because he gets a sick thrill out of it

🃏- That isn't to say he's not one to indulge another person's idea of what it's like to humour oneself

🃏- Be it a bride, a friend, a classmate, he'll lend you an ear

🃏- Don't be fooled, his patience is extremely thin and unless you're the peak of comedy, he'll get bored quickly and easily turn the conversation around into something that benefits him

🃏- Now, if you're strong willed and can ignore his words and actions, he'll respect that

🃏- If anything, it makes you more interesting, which then makes him want to listen to more of your futile attempts to make him laugh or sport a smile

🃏- Let's say it's lunch hour and you're sitting at his table. Depending on your relationship, he'll either leave you and your jokes high and dry to go make out with some girl in a broom closet, or he'll entertain you

🃏- Over time of course, his tolerance grows and he doesn't believe himself when he eventually starts enjoying your company and your positive nature

🃏- He's grown accustomed to having you around and subconsciously counts on you to improve his mood

🃏- Maybe he got a scolding from Reiji just before school and he's ticked off, tell him how he looks emo, you might get a smirk (you will)

🃏- He'll probably minimize this feeling as nothing other than boredom (he's afraid to admit he doesn't feel completely numb around you)

🃏- It's such an odd thing for someone to genuinely want to make his day better by giving him something without him having to do anything in return

🃏- See this is where it'll kinda fuck him up

🃏- It's not about the jokes or the great atmosphere you seem to carry around yourself whenever you guys are together

🃏- It's the fact that he's having trouble coping with the idea that someone wants him to feel good without the use of sex

🃏- So maybe you're trying to use him, get closer to him and when he's his most vulnerable, you'll strike at him when he's fully exposed

🃏- He cannot have that be a possibility, he'll lose his shit

🃏- A part of him is glad that despite all his bullshit, you're there for him in your own way

🃏- Another part of him is telling him to run far far away

🃏- By attempting to getting close with Laito, even if it's something as simple as jokes and smiles, he'll consider it a major red flag and might not know what to do with himself

🃏- After all, what if he's wrong and he just pushed away the only person that cared about him?

🃏- Humans, women, people, feelings, society. It's all just too confusing for him

🃏- "Ne~ Bitch-chan, you're so quiet. Ah- I get it, do I need to tell you a joke today? Or should we improve your mood some other way hm?"

[ceruark]

hold my hand & don't be scared

What would the HSR characters be like when navigating a haunted house/scary maze with their crush?

Completely unflinching. You wonder if there’s anything on this planet that could startle them or catch them off guard. They just kind of raise an eyebrow at the scare actors or give them an unimpressed look every time one pops up. 

Because of their impassivity, they’re able to focus most of their attention on you. They’ll sigh and act like they’re being inconvenienced when you cling to them, but secretly, they’re reveling in it. Haunted houses have never amused them much, but your surprised screams and the way you bury your face in their arm after someone jumps out at you certainly adds a factor of entertainment for them.

Acheron, Blade, Dan Heng, Dr. Ratio, Jingliu, Moze, Silver Wolf

Also unflinching, but in a “cool guy” way. Doesn’t jump or scream when a scare actor pops out at them, but will at least try to humor them by saying something like, “Oh, that was a good one!” before moving along, completely unaffected.

Of course, they so valiantly place themselves at your side when your friends push you to the front of the group, knowing you’ll get the most scared. Don’t worry, you can hold onto them, they’ll make sure you get out just fine. They’ll place a gentle hand on your back when you bury your face into them out of fear, steering you through the maze. When you make it out, they’ll hold you until the adrenaline leaves you, and praise you on how brave you were. No, of course there wasn’t an ulterior motive for going in the front with you. Your friends don’t know what they’re talking about.

Aventurine, Black Swan, Feixiao, Himeko, Jade, Jiaoqiu, Jing Yuan, Kafka, Luocha, Sunday, Topaz

You’re two peas in a pod, and your friend group makes you both lead the way because they know you’ll both get the most scared. As you stand in front of the entrance, heart pounding as you wait for the attendant to allow you to go in, they extend a hand out to you and offer a nervous but encouraging smile. You take it, and they squeeze your hand as you both enter.

You’re holding onto each other the entire time. Your screams echo each other, and you’re practically jumping into each other’s arms each time a scare actor jumps out at you. At some point, you’ve both got your faces turned toward each other, shuffling aimlessly through the maze in an attempt to not look at the terrifying things waiting to get you. Once you finally manage to make out, you both laugh hysterically as you try to calm down, their hand lingering in your own.

Bronya, Firefly, Gepard, March, Robin

Puts on a brave act and talks a big game, but is even worse than you. They’ll slither their way to the front of the group and put an arm around you, promising you nothing will happen to you as long as they’re by your side. They’ll make sure of it.

Once you’re inside the maze, it’s an entirely different story. You don’t even have the opportunity to be scared because you’re too busy being tossed around. If a scare actor jumps out in front of them, they’re immediately throwing you in front of them or pulling you toward them to use as a human shield, screaming in horror and leaving your ears ringing. You’re too busy laughing at their reactions and antics to give the scare actors a proper reaction. 

In the end, they did prevent you from getting scared, and they got to hold you (well, hold onto you). It’s the thought that counts.

Boothill, Caelus, Sampo, Seele, Stelle

[ninthcircleofprythian]

ACOTAR Headcanons

In which the fae of Prythian discovers bubble gum.

*This is based off of a cold medicine induced nap dream I had earlier today - so if the vibes are off blame the Mucinex.

Everyone is intrigued mostly.

Eris is just confused. Doesnt understand why you would want to continuously chew something.

Elain immediately starts thinking up different flavors she would want to try to make.

Rhys is big on the idea of fresh breath at any time of day.

Eris eventually comes around when he learns that cinnamon gum is a thing.

He is a Big Red fan. Which immediately earns him a new nickname.

Az is the last to partake - he needed to make sure it wasn't poisoned first.

Cassian is astounded at how stretchy it is.

Constantly has to be told to keep it in his mouth like a child.

Nesta isn't into it - claims it makes her jaw hurt.

Cassian cackles like an idiot over that remark.

Once they are shown that you can blow bubbles with it - mind blown.

It immediately becomes a competition.

Az is methodical - carefully testing each flavor and type to see which will produce the biggest bubbles.

Elain is delighted and just thinks the entire thing is magical.

Lucien of course jumps into the competition just to see her giggle more.

Cassian severely overestimates how much gum he can chew at one time.

The result is him trying to blow a bubble with a giant wad of gum but instead just catapulting the entire mouthful across the table.

Eris tries a couple times but the second a bubble pops and sticks to his face - hes done.

Mor starts trying to show everyone "the trick" to do with their tongue to get the gum to cooperate right.

Rhys pipes up that if thats the key to winning then Feyre has this competition LOCKED.

Az ends up winning (he did the research).

His conclusion is that the Hubba Bubba original has the best bubble blowing capabililty.

Although he is partial to the strawberry watermelon.

This also earns Az a new nickname (Hubba Bubba)

Eris secretly loves the new nickname and can't wait to use it later.

Cassian just ends up with a mess of gum stuck in his hair.

Luckily Elain comes to the rescue (because Nesta would be terribly upset to see his hair cut off) and uses some cooking oil to tame the sticky mess.

General Taglist

@mybestfriendmademe

@lilah-asteria

@chairofchaos

@pit-and-the-pen

@prythianpages

@c-starstuff-man0

[peaches2217]

Untarnished

Chapter 4 (HUGE thank you to @bberetd for her feedback!!)

AO3 Link! | Previous Chapter | Beginning

~~~

For the third time since their reunion, Mario smiled at her, and she was certain her heart would burst. The pain etched into his features melted away as he met her gaze. It was as if everything was alright in his world now. And as he lifted a tremoring hand and mirrored her touch, his tattered glove meeting her cheek, Peach realized that everything was alright in her world too.

That was it. That was the final push she needed to overcome years of shyness, dancing around social etiquette and expectations and uncertain affections. She was going to pour her heart out to him, right here, right now, consequences be damned.

Once again, he didn’t give her any time.

He kissed her before she had the chance.

.

.

.

It didn’t register at first. All she could do was gape dumbly ahead, staring wide-eyed at the space between Mario’s eyebrows. Everything was so still. No breeze in the air, no breath flowing between them, nothing but the grass beneath their bodies and his hand trembling against her cheek.

His lips were warm, and cracked, and terribly dry. They trembled as well.

And then they were gone, and suddenly the two inches of space between them felt impossibly vast. Peach had never so desperately wished to be robbed of breath once more.

She took it upon herself to grant that wish. Mario made a startled noise as she pulled him back in, his hand retreating from her face.

At any other time, she might have backed off, considered the possibility that his kiss meant something entirely different than hers, that she was overstepping his every last boundary. Right now, she didn’t care. Mario had kissed her. She had almost lost him, but he’d lived and he’d carried them both to safety and he’d kissed her. 

Even if it didn’t mean what she wanted it to mean — perhaps he was just as overwhelmed with relief as she was, and perhaps he simply couldn’t think of a better way to convey it in the moment — it was proof that he was here, he was alive, and she was with him once more. It was proof that her weeks of dwindling hope and agonizing uncertainty hadn’t been in vain.

His facial hair prickled at her cheeks and her chin and her palms. It tickled.

Then the warmth and weight of torn leather returned to her cheek — and Mario returned her kiss in earnest.

This wasn’t like his first kiss, stagnant, awkward, timid. This kiss was forceful. Desperate. His hand slipped from her cheek to the nape of her neck, and he somehow pulled her even closer. His fingers gathered and clenched at the roots of her unwashed hair. Peach scarcely had time to gasp when he pulled away, and then he was pulling her back in, pressing, tugging, clinging to her for dear life.

If her hair being yanked and her lungs shriveling from lack of oxygen caused her pain, Peach took no notice. She never wanted to breathe again, so long as it meant he’d never stop. She never wanted him to let go.

Cicada song was quickly drowned out by the rush of blood in her ears as she matched his affections, aggressive but not painful, too much yet not nearly enough. Fireworks exploded behind her eyelids and within her stomach. The unpleasant copper tang on her tongue was nothing compared to the giddy, almost indecent joy coursing through her blood. His hair was gritty with soot, yet this did little to dissuade her from running frantic fingers through it.

In an interlude for air, her hand returned to his cheek — and it was wet.

All at once the bliss dissipated, and Peach pulled fully away, a painful but necessary action. Right. He was still hurt. His wounds would need tended to before they could continue.

But it wasn’t blood or serum that trickled down Mario’s face, discolored from soot and sweat and bright red burns. The look he fixed her with was unlike any she had ever seen from him: his eyes were wild, and each unsteady gasp for air jolted his body, and tears dripped from his cheeks and from the broad tip of his nose, a silent but unending flow.

Where she’d just felt alive with passion, Peach now felt frozen with shock. She had never seen Mario cry.

It didn’t take long to realize, once she embraced him and buried her face into his neck, that she was crying, too. He had never seen her cry either, had he?

Quiet sobs wracked through her as she took it all in, the smell of blood and burnt skin and singed clothing, the warmth of another living being, him, all of him. And though she couldn’t hear much over the pathetic cries that spilled from her throat, she knew from the way he shuddered as he held her that he wept just as fervently.

~~~

“Something must be done post-haste. We cannot allow such misfortune to befall our Princess again.”

“Well, what would you suggest? Sacking all of the guards who stood on duty that night — which you agreed to as well, I’ll have you remember — has left us shorthanded. It will be at least a few more weeks until we have all the necessary resources.”

“Nonsense! We have everything we need! The old guards’ replacements already show great promise. I say we implement the improved layout blueprint and stick them right in. Problem solved!”

“Those replacements are still in training. Do you suggest leaving the safety of our Princess to a gaggle of rookies?”

“Well, unless the Princess is willing to reconsider our open borders policy, which, I might add, most likely contributed to this incident in the first place—”

“Do you mock Her Royal Highness? The great strides she’s taken to promote peace and unity with our allies?”

“What good have our allies done? Send us food when the harvest looks promising anyway, send us ranks when there’s no invading army threatening our people directly, but they certainly couldn’t pinpoint the location of the Princess, nor could they help organize efforts against that wretched Bowser! We must reflect inward if we wish to rebound!”

Hands clasped in her lap, Peach did her best to keep her spine straight and her expression neutral. For all the shouting of belligerent old Toads surrounding her, the past hour had still been fairly productive, if only because she was finally brought up to speed with the state of her kingdom… or, rather, the state of his.

The Koopa King was either dead or dying. His military was in shambles, his kingdom in complete panic. And while no one could say with certainty yet, current predictions, based on the observations of spies and similar informants, leaned in favor of the Darklands closing itself off until it was able to reestablish leadership.

Mario would be able to provide further insight, once he was well enough to recount his story. Peach could only pray he was permitted to do so at his own pace.

Without their king to lead them, Bowser’s troops were predictable. Petty at absolute worst, too cowardly to step foot outside of their borders at best. Peach felt perfectly comfortable with the notion of rookie guards standing at nighttime vigil. By the time any serious threat rose against her or her kingdom once more, they would be rookies no longer.

Of course, between the arguing of her Parliament and Toadsworth’s constant cries for order, Peach found very little room to voice these thoughts. Never mind that she had never asked for her original Nighttime Guard to be sacked in the first place. For these reasons, she couldn’t help but simmer with annoyance, tapping her clasped fingers against her knuckles beneath the grand conference table. What was the point in discussing her well-being if she wasn’t permitted to have a say in that very same matter?

(She could have, at any point, silenced the room with one swift gesture of her hand and a reminder that her word was the law by which they were all permitted to abide. She could have at any point taken control back into her own hands. Unfortunately, being thrust into the center of a noisy debate after three months in isolation rarely results in clear heads.)

“Oh, if only Master Mario had been on duty that night,” an older Toad with dark green spots on his cap called out. “He could have stopped this madness before it began!”

An abrupt chill rushed through Peach’s veins as a murmur of agreement swept across the room. She was quite used to random chills by now, yet this one felt strangely alien, so biting that it made her vision go fuzzy at the edges.

She’d had the same thought. It wasn’t the names of her guards or her retainers she’d cried as she was smothered by cold scales and ivory claws. She had screamed Mario’s name into the night, knowing full well that he couldn’t hear her, hoping in spite of herself that her voice would reach him, that he would reach her, that her nightmare would end just as quickly as it started.

As the days dwindled on and what ifs consumed her waking thoughts, she’d found herself imagining a thousand different ways he might have saved her, if only her voice had been stronger. If only she had asked him to stay.

“Master Mario! That’s another matter we must discuss: he will be receiving a knighthood once he’s well, I trust?”

“He should have been made a knight after his first rescue of the Princess! Perhaps Bowser would have thought twice about returning had Her Highness’ bodyguard been named a knight as well.”

“A mere title would not have stopped him!”

“Perhaps Master Mario can assist in training the Guard once he’s able?”

“Well, clearly we can’t change the past, so—”

“No no, it’s as I’ve said before, the Princess is never safer than when he’s—

“What of his feast? We must arrange a feast in his honor at—”

But could he have stopped Bowser had he been present? Her captor gloated, in excruciating detail, of the measures he’d taken to ensure her champion would fail: the traps he’d laid, the troops he’d armed, the secrecy with which he guarded her location to the outside world. Two years’ worth of painstaking preparation, all with one end goal: absorbing the Mushroom Kingdom into his fledgling empire, whether by reluctant political agreement in exchange for the Princess’ safety, or by killing her and taking the kingdom by force.

He had known her spies would track her down eventually. He had known that devoted little bodyguard of hers would come to her rescue. He’d spared no expense or resource ensuring the attempt would claim his life. He’d come so close to succeeding.

Had Mario been there that night, Bowser simply would have killed him on the spot. This was the only logical conclusion to make.

“M-my good fellows, perhaps a recess would be in everyone’s best interest. Twenty minutes, let’s say?”

He had been doomed from the start. There was no version of this event in which Mario would have escaped unharmed. From the moment he’d pledged service to Peach, she had doomed him to an uncertain future, a life of safety unassured. Wasn’t safety what she had promised him the day he and his brother stumbled into her court, displaced from their world of birth and hopelessly confused?

Was this not the fate of all whom she claimed to love? Who would she doom next?

“Princess.”

The sudden presence of pressure on her arm startled Peach, and she gasped as she instinctively jerked away from it. Danger. She was in danger. Her attacker, short and squat, with a thick white mustache and equally thick spectacles and black, beady eyes filled with so much worry—

“Toadsworth.” Peach exhaled heavily, and though she couldn’t quite remember what she’d been doing moments earlier, something sticky and unpleasant like guilt bubbled up in her throat. “Is— is everything alright?”

The creases around his eyes creased even deeper, and that guilt-like feeling within her thickened.

“I would ask the same of you,” he said, “but I believe I already know the answer.”

He spoke quietly, yet she could hear him with perfect clarity. Casting her gaze around the meeting hall, she found that its chairs were unoccupied, its politicians long gone.

“I had hoped your relative well-being would lend itself to a more agreeable climate,” he continued, huffing softly as he pushed his chair away from the table, an action Peach found herself miming. He hopped from his seat and wobbled briefly, quickly steadying himself against his cane. “But, clearly, what we all need is a break.”

Right. She’d heard him call for a recess earlier, hadn’t she? She didn’t remember anyone agreeing to it. Come to think of it, she couldn’t quite remember what her Parliament had been discussing in the first place… something about the guards? Something about her guard? 

Peach just barely fought the urge to slump over the back of her chair. She instead stamped her foot, which had fallen numb anyway. Right. Sores. Pain. Not a dream. If she wasn’t dreaming, why did reality still feel so dreamlike? It was as if her head had been knocked from her shoulders and hadn’t been screwed all the way back on, or perhaps had been replaced with a head that merely resembled her own.

“Princess.” Toadsworth’s tone mellowed as he closed their minimal distance, and as she shifted to face him, a wrinkled hand rested over hers, still clasped in her lap. “I believe you’ve suffered enough for one day. Have some lunch, then rest.”

Lunch. Rest. Those both sounded so good right about now. Still, what her heart yearned for, her mind rejected without a second thought.

“Suffering is part and parcel of the Crown, Toadsworth.” She gave him a good-humored smile, or at least tried to, and he returned one that looked much more convincing. “I’ll be alright.”

“You must focus on your health for the time being, Your Highness,” Toadsworth dissented. “How are you to lead our nation when you struggle with even menial tasks?”

Peach inhaled sharply. He always knew exactly where to strike. It wasn’t in malice, she knew, nor was he implying she lacked capability; he merely wanted her well, for everyone’s sake. She knew this. Still, her body surged with an unpleasant heat at his words. He was right, but he shouldn’t have been.

“I’d rather not leave you to weather all this arguing alone.”

Toadsworth chuckled, patting her hands. “I’ve managed to wrangle them for the better part of twelve weeks. One more day is a drop in the bucket.”

The unpleasant surge returned, and Peach sighed, staring down at their joined hands. It truly was a wonder he’d survived all this time. “The moment I receive clearance to take back over, you’re going on vacation. Just name the destination and I’ll see to it that all expenses are paid.”

“You’ll understand if I take you up on that.”

“Oh, rest assured, I’ll make it mandatory.”

Toadsworth chuckled at this, and somehow, Peach found the drive to giggle along with him.

He made small talk as he escorted her from the meeting hall so that the breaking politicians would pay them no mind, and she did her best to appear equally engaged. Once they turned the first corner, Toadsworth fell into comfortable silence at her side, tapping his cane against the floor with each step and humming quietly.

An odd sense of calm fell over Peach at the sight and sound. As a child, when she found herself overwhelmed by adult obligations, her steward would whisk her away under the pretense of “very important business,” and then he’d allow her to roam the winding halls of the castle or the sprawling expanses of the garden until she felt ready to return. He would engage her in conversation if she wished, whether she chose to vent her latest frustrations or make lighthearted small talk to keep her mind distracted.

Usually, however, she preferred to decompress in silence. Toadsworth would typically fill that silence with one of a handful of old drinking songs, humming merrily and tapping his cane in time to his tune. Even now, she recognized his chosen song as one she’d heard a thousand times before. He was older now, his spots darker, his whiskers whiter, but the placid contentment in his eyes remained the same.

Placidity. Peach’s birth father died when she was only three, forcing her to take the throne a mere ten years later. In spite of this, Toadsworth had done his best to give her moments of peace and calm through her otherwise hectic upbringing. At the very least, he did what he could to remind her that she wasn’t alone. For a brief moment, Peach was happy to feel like a child once more.

“You’re sure you’re alright on your own?” she asked once Toadsworth gave his approval of the cooks’ preparations (a hearty vegetable soup or stew, whose aroma already made Peach’s mouth water; she’d been cleared to begin limited solid intake, and she was immensely looking forward to it).

“Now now, don’t start that!” Toadsworth’s voice was stern, but the crinkles that peeked from behind his spectacles betrayed a lack of sincere ire. “You just worry about having a filling lunch. In the meantime, I’ll see if I can’t help everyone reach an agreement regarding your security.”

Peach could only shake her head as she turned to a familiar cupboard, scouring for and easily locating one of her favorite tea blends. “Good luck,” she called over her shoulder. “Stars know you’ll need it.”

“Well, we all agree on one thing at least: we need more guards like Master Mario.” As she prepped the nearest kettle she could find (and waved off a concerned kitchen attendant who insisted on performing the preparations for her), she heard Toadworth huff with some mix of frustration and amusement. “With the remarkable recovery he’s making, I may see about visiting him tonight. Perhaps I can pick his brain for ideas, or��”

Stars Above, not him, too. Magically-enhanced recovery or not, Mario needed rest just as much as she did; she knew for a fact her magic couldn’t heal mental or psychological wounds, and she could only imagine what sorts of battles he’d find himself fighting in the coming weeks.

It gave her comfort, however small, to remember just how resilient her dearest friend was. None of the coming battles he faced would be fought alone. He would be alright, and soon he would flourish once more, but to get there, he still needed his rest.

But as she turned from her tea preparations to chastise her steward for his haste, something ultimately held her tongue. Toadsworth was still, hunched over his cane, but his eyes shifted rapidly behind his lenses, movements so small and subtle she wouldn’t have caught them had she not seen this before. He was deep in thought.

“Toadsworth…?”

The call of his name produced no reaction. It took a repeat of that call, firmer but still gentle, for him to blink back into awareness, and when he looked up at her—

Enlightenment. His face shown with a cautious but ever-present enlightenment.

“I have a proposition.” He spoke quickly, his tone hard and clear with a newfound confidence. “Before I present it to the Parliament, however, I’d like to seek your permission.” Then he added, quietly, almost an afterthought: “And I believe you’ll wish to seek Master Mario’s permission in turn.”

~~~

Mario was awake.

And he wasn’t just awake, oh no. He was sitting up in his bed, smiling, laughing, conversing easily with his brother in their shared tongue. The hoarse rasp of an unused voice was gone; his tone was bouncy and light and clear, and though she could only translate bits of what he was saying, she knew he was in good spirits.

What she would have given to take in that sight forever. He was okay. He was okay.

Sadly, she was only able to gawk for a handful of moments before she was noticed. Dr. Toad greeted her cheerfully, inviting her past the doorway she loitering in (and she hadn’t taken note of his presence or where she was loitering, which made her feel quite dumb), and just as quickly, the lively conversation before her went silent.

His eyes. So bright and blue, unclouded by pain or confusion. Remnants of surprise quickly melted into a look she could only describe as reverence: a dusting of pink across his features, the smallest little smile. The short, patchy beard he’d sported the past few days was also gone, leaving only a familiar mustache. With a good portion of his face clean, she could see it with greater clarity now: he had lost weight. His cheeks, while not quite sunken in, certainly weren’t as plump as she remembered. He looked no less handsome for it.

He was still hooked to a heart monitor. It filled the silence by betraying Mario’s accelerating pulse, beep-beep-beep-beep-beep. Déjà vu.

She wanted to kiss him. She wanted to throw herself into his arms and kiss him until the world fell to the wayside. She wanted so badly to lay in the grass with him and indulge years’ worth of words unspoken in a matter of minutes, just as she had that night. His taste had been metallic on her tongue, remnants of blood seeping through dried and cracked lips. What would he taste like now? 

She’d entertained the notion, more times than she cared to admit, that he tasted sweet and peppery like marinara, or light and fluffy and zesty like fresh maritozzi. More refreshing than a strawberry gelato, more filling than a bubbling manicotti, headier than the finest wines money could afford in his realm or her own— 

A loud, low rumble yanked her back into reality, and heat rushed to her cheeks as she clutched her belly, as if her hands alone could muffle the sound. Well. At least her appetite remained healthy.

Unfortunately, the sound didn’t go unnoticed. It pulled Mario’s attention away from her eyes, and quickly she was all too aware of the way he took her in, his smile fading rapidly.

She thought to cover herself. Maybe turn back and flee before he had enough time to process whatever he saw in her that upset him. But—

“Mamma mia,” he murmured, and he sounded genuinely offended, “when was the last time you ate, Princess? Has no one fed you?”

He didn’t even give her a chance to respond. Any response Peach might have formulated was quickly drowned out by the cacophony of an overworked heart monitor and agitated, half-understandable ranting.

“What are you still fussing over me for?” he asked in the general direction of the doctor, his hands flailing. “The Princess! That’s who you need to— she’s— stop wasting all your time on me, the Princess— ” He kept stumbling over his words, and if she wasn’t already familiar with his accent, she wouldn’t have known he was speaking in the common tongue at all. He was upset, if not incensed, and possibly on the verge of a heart attack… all out of worry for her.

This should have worried Peach in turn, and she should have stepped in to calm him down, but she was selfishly glad for his concern. Even standing a room apart from him, she felt safe, as if directly under his care once more.

“Hey’ey’ey,” Luigi interjected, “calmati, Mario! La Principessa mangia tutta la zuppa che può—”

“Zuppa?” And now Mario looked at his brother as though he’d been struck across the face. “ Ha bisogna di dolci! Torte! Biscotti! Pasticcini!”

“Il suo stomaco potrebbe esplodere! Non possiamo rischiare!”

“Allora, la lasciamo morire di fame?”

“Non sta morendo di fame! Stelle santo!”

As their bickering overlapped and their gesticulation grew increasingly dramatic, Dr. Toad patted Peach’s hand and smiled up at her, a tired but amused smile. “I think a lunch break is in everyone’s best interest, Your Highness.”

Peach assented with a single nod of her head, though she paid him no real mind. The bickering. Mario was only this argumentative if he was in good spirits; a sincerely run-down Mario would simply make a snide remark and then silently take it upon himself to fix whatever slight he perceived.

His voice and his body language matched Luigi’s as their petty war progressed, strong and unwavering. A familiar determination etched into his features like stone told her that he could keep at it for hours if he felt so inclined. She’d never been so happy to see the two argue in all her life.

As further testament to the notion that everything was on the up and up, the arguing continued until a kitchen attendant rolled a silver food cart into the room, and the aroma of roasted vegetables and hot broth compelled the twins to forget their squabble. As though there had never been any disagreement, they quickly shared only excitement for whatever lay beneath the serving trays. Peach shook her head fondly. How often had their mother witnessed the same scene in their youth? They must have been—

Her original mission forced its way back to the forefront of her thoughts. Toadsworth’s proposition. She needed to present Mario with Toadsworth’s proposition. But what sort of friend would she be if she didn’t let him eat first before making demands of him? She gulped and forced the fluttering dread in her throat as far down as she could possibly force it.

The doctor departed to take a lunch himself, leaving the three to their own devices. Luigi brought a second chair to Mario’s bedside and helped Peach into it before plucking three servings from the cart and passing them around, humming a tune she was certain she’d heard before. Everyone has a song in them today, so it seemed.

Through it all, Mario couldn’t quite take his eyes off of her. He was watching her, not maliciously or distrustfully, but with concern, gentle as a wool blanket draped over her shoulders. How terribly she’d missed those eyes on her. Had he always looked at her like this?

She paced herself as she ate, making sure to meet his eyes regularly as she did so; she didn’t want him to believe she was still starving. He’d seemed so distressed at the idea.

Luigi filled her in between spoonfuls of stew: the combination of her magic and modern medicine had all but restored Mario to his physical peak. A stroke of pure luck, he emphasized, the will of the Stars Themselves — the purse-lipped nod he gave Peach assured her that he held to their promise. Mario, they’d agreed last night, didn’t need to know the true cost of his recovery.

When she looked back to Mario, he was beaming up at her, face awash in pure awe. Pure reverence. Suddenly, Peach wasn’t sure if she could finish her lunch; she didn’t deserve his reverence. She didn’t deserve his anything, aside from maybe his scorn, yet still he admired her as a follower might admire a great leader, or as the devout might admire the divine.

Had he always looked at her like this? That adoring gaze which brought her so much comfort in the past days felt almost unbearable now. She tucked her arms as closely to her body as possible and focused a bit too hard on Luigi’s long-winded update.

There would likely be consequences to this accelerated state of healing, he continued: phantom pains, shortness of breath, bouts of weakness here and there, but nothing too worrying. He would be discharged tomorrow, so long as he could promise (or at least begrudgingly imply) that he wouldn’t exert himself for the next few weeks. “Which you will do, yeah?” Luigi quirked an eyebrow at his brother, who put on his best pout and shrugged, palms facing upward.

“Well how am I gonna know how I’m healing up if I don’t put myself to work? I’ll get bed sores if I sit still for too long!” He shifted where he sat, wincing in jest. “Already feel one comin’ on.”

“Stars, I’m gonna have to put a leash on you, aren’t I?”

The image that popped into Peach’s head was far more vivid than it had any right to be: Mario, with ears and a tail like a dog, sitting cross-legged and cross-armed on the floor in defiance, while his brother yanked repeatedly at a leash attached to a collar around his neck. She could easily picture the smug smirk he would sport, too.

The laugh this drew from Peach sounded more like a snort, and she nearly dropped what remained of her stew in her haste to cover such an embarrassing noise. But it was too late, and she knew that all too well; both brothers startled briefly, but within moments, all three were bent over in laughter, so wild and intense that her head began to throb from the pressure.

In that moment, she forgot. This moment felt like any other moment prior to her abduction, a simple gathering of friends over a good meal and good conversation. What hadn’t she taken for granted?

Their bowls now empty, Luigi gathered Peach’s before standing to take Mario’s. He hesitated, she noticed, resting his free hand on his brother’s shoulder, and though the cheer in their visages didn’t fade, something in the air felt a bit heavier.

“He smiled,” Luigi told her the night before, recounting the precious few minutes that Mario awoke in the midst of his healing. “He actually smiled. It’s…” Then he’d sniffed, dabbing the back of his hand to his already bloodshot eyes. “I can count on one hand — a-and I don’t even need the whole hand, Princess, maybe once or twice. He just… stopped smiling. It’s so good to see him happy again.”

And not even twenty minutes earlier, he’d dropped something even worse on her: “I kinda just accepted that he wasn’t coming back, y’know?”

The dread she’d forced down half an hour earlier came creeping back up, like bile rising in her throat.

Toadsworth’s proposition. She still needed to present Mario with Toadsworth’s proposition.

“If I know Master Mario well enough, then I know he’ll be delighted,” Toadsworth had assured her, shutting down her protests before she could even voice them. “You see, in your absence, he’s been… well. Well, he wouldn’t hesitate. I’m certain of it.”

Peach was equally certain. That just made the proposition feel that much more unfair.

As Luigi stepped aside to relocate the food cart so it could be whisked away, Mario looked at her once again, grinning a bashful and achingly familiar grin. Why did he look at her like that? With such tenderness, and such affection, and such trust? Had her wish power wiped his memory, too? Did he not recall how much agony he’d endured for her sake?

How she almost destroyed all which he held dear, without even lifting a finger?

That upbeat, brotherly conversation she’d interrupted with her presence, the laughing and chatting and bright-eyed contentment, was very likely the first normal conversation the brothers held since the day she was taken. Whatever Mario went through in his efforts to bring her home, those efforts drove a wedge between him and his brother. Luigi hadn’t said as much, but Peach could read between the lines. She knew the look he’d fixed his sleeping twin with in the pauses between conversation, the quiet desperation of words unspoken, of wanting so badly to fix everything.

“Princess…?” Her hero’s gentle smile strained now, just the slightest bit, yet Peach couldn’t find the words of reassurance that he needed so badly. Just another of many ways in which she’d betrayed him.

In her absence, she’d placed unendurable weight upon the most sacred fraternal bond she’d ever borne witness to. In her absence, they’d mended whatever had been broken between them. And now here she was, prepared to pull them apart all over again, all for her own selfish need to feel safe.

Hadn’t she already stolen enough of their time away?

“Princess. Hey.”

Peach blinked.

A hand. Large, strong, familiar. Mario was leaning forward now, his hand extended to her, just out of reach. His lips were drawn up and half-hidden beneath his mustache, a smile that was no longer strained, but… sad?

He didn’t say anything else. He simply waited, patiently. As she continued to stare dumbly, his outstretched hand trembled in her peripheral, and his eyes crinkled under the creeping vestiges of fatigue, yet he refused to relax or rest.

He refused to rest because he knew Peach wanted to take it. He knew she trusted him. He knew she loved him. He knew her down to her very last nuance, her every last intention. He knew, and either because or in spite of this, he stayed at her side. If he had his way, he would remain beside her indefinitely. It was this very devotion that inspired Toadsworth’s proposition. Truly, she was destined to doom all whom she loved.

Hesitating, Peach finally accepted his invitation, resting her right hand within his; only then did he relax, still leaning forward but resting his arm, his fingers folding over hers. What was it about his touch that made her more confident? No matter how many times he took her hand, she always felt untouchable, or at least grounded.

She was only the messenger. This proposition was on Toadsworth’s behalf, not hers. He was running the idea by the Parliament this very moment, and likely being met with mass agreement. It was simply her responsibility to relay that idea to Mario… and to assure him, in no uncertain terms, that he’d already more than fulfilled his duties. That she expected nothing further of him. Surely he would know that as well.

“Mario.” His name sounded so weak on her voice, so uncertain, and already her words threatened to flee her grasp. She curled her fingers against his palm and glanced down at her lap. “I need to… T-Toadsworth has a proposition.” Her involuntary stutter made her heart skip a few beats, and she cleared her throat again to dissipate the cold, panicked feeling. “I’ve been asked to present it to you.”

“Oh?”

“Now, understand that you’re under no obligation to agree. I can’t overstate that. I want you to do whatever is best for your own well-being. This is only a… hypothetical suggestion.”

He squeezed her hand, his grasp firm yet gentle. “Spara, Principessa.”

Peach’s lips tweaked at one corner, and she blew a breath through her nose, a half-chuckle. “Lay it on me.” He always said it so playfully, coaxing her into sharing even the most unpleasant news with the promise that, whatever lay ahead, he could take it. That playful lilt was still present, but now his tone was so much softer.

She drew her left hand close to her chest and drew in a deep breath.

“The new Guard is still in training and further security measures are still being discussed,” she began. “Given the rate of your recovery, and the current air of uncertainty, Toadsworth feels it would be best if…” She exhaled. “If you were to remain in the castle. Until those measures are implemented.” As my guard, full-time. She couldn’t bring herself to say that part. There was no unselfish way to word it.

There was no altruistic way to demand she remain his top priority, after all he’d done.

But it dawned on her almost as quickly as the words left her mouth: perhaps there was more she could do. If she was going to make demands of him, then she would tailor the circumstances to his favor with reckless abandon.

“You and Luigi both,” she amended. Toadsworth would forgive her for altering the arrangement. He always forgave her last-minute declarations, however reasonable or brash. “Y-you’ll both be given rooms with full amenities, of course, and— a-a-and the staff will gladly provide any cooking or laundering you need done. We can— we’ll pay you, gladly! You’ll be compensated as always and then some. Double— no, triple! It’s the least we can do! And—”

“Pfft— ”

The unexpected noise jerked her back into spatial awareness, and she whipped in her chair to look behind, too quickly to see what sort of expression Mario was wearing.

Come to think of it, Luigi should have long since returned, shouldn’t he have?

“Have you been standing there this whole time?!” Mario, for his part, sounded every bit as startled as she felt; the sight of his two equally flustered friends must have pushed Luigi over the edge, because he quickly went from sputtering through his fingers to loud, boisterous, belly-clutching laughter.

“Oh, Princess!” he guffawed, swiping a finger at the corner of his eye, “I don’t think he caught anything after ‘implemented’ ! He’s been staring off into space with this real dreamy look for the past thirty seconds straight!”

“Weegee!” There was a bite to Mario’s tone, and she looked at him just in time to watch a deep blush blossom across his face.

“You should’ve seen it! His whole face lit up like a big Fire Flower. I think you’ve made his year!”

“Luigi!”

The voice of reason, a constant companion from her earliest days, told Peach that there was no reason to jump to conclusions. This was a manner that would need discussed in great depth and whose nuances would need to be carefully weighed before a decision was reached. She’d be a fool to start drawing conclusions so quickly.

The voice of intuition, now shrieking like an overeager teenager, told her that Mario had already made up his mind.

“You just keep resting up, okie-dokie?” Peach pulled her hand from Mario’s grasp as Luigi slid beside her, ruffling his brother’s dark hair before plopping back into his seat. “Luigi will take care of everything! He’ll have all your clothes and supplies ready for ya. All you’ll have to do is get the doctor’s A-Okay and then move right on in!”

“Grazie.” Mario laid back and glared up at the ceiling, but his lips wavered and his shoulders twitched, like he was trying to hold back a smile or a laugh of his own. “Grazie mille, fratellino.” And finally his resolve cracked, a reluctant but good-humored grin spreading across his face; he turned his head just enough to catch Peach’s eyes, and once again, he didn’t say anything.

He didn’t need to. That was the last bit of confirmation she needed. She smiled back at him, willing her anxious heart to slow, and another outburst of mechanical beeping informed her that Mario’s heart was every bit as on edge.

“So!” Looking to Peach, Luigi remained the picture of mischievous cheer, but shining through was a glimmer of emotion that ran far deeper. Gratitude. “Where are we staying, Princess?”

~~~

Peach should have been happy. She should have been more relaxed and at ease than she had been in months. She was in her own bedroom, beneath her own puffy pink blankets, behind the lovely sheer curtains that surrounded her mattress and offered her an illusion of protection. A place of rest and comfort that had been hers and hers alone all her life.

She should have been happy. So why couldn’t she stop trembling?

Chill permeated to her very bones. She couldn’t get warm, no matter how heavily she dressed or how tightly she wrapped herself in her comforter. This was to be expected, Toadessa had assured her; she’d lost a great deal of her body fat during the course of her imprisonment, so she would be more susceptible to cold until she put on weight. “We’ll get those pounds back on you in no time,” Luigi had promised her, then he’d offered her two or three cantucci, fresh from the oven. She’d only been able to eat one.

Still, she couldn’t tell if she couldn’t relax because she was cold, or if she felt so cold because she couldn’t relax. She had at first switched off her lights, hoping the darkness would permit her a steadier sleep than she’d found in the medical ward. Her senses came more alive than ever once the light abandoned her, though, and she’d spent the better part of half an hour tossing and turning and forcing images of dank dungeons and dingy stone walls from her mind. 

Yet that was all she could see when she closed her eyes. If she finally managed to relax, the slightest noise or the slightest shift in the breeze outside ensured she was on high alert once more. It quickly became apparent that she had two choices: remain awake, exhausted, but grounded in the present, or return to her home away from home in all but body.

With a resigned sigh, she fixed her robe and pulled it tighter as she threw her blanket back. The choice, though unpleasant, was easy.

She thought for a moment to stand on her balcony, as she was apt to do on sleepless nights, enjoying the fresh air and watching the lights glimmer through Toad Town’s sleepy streets. Another chill rattled her bones, and this time, she was able to place its source: she didn’t want to be alone right now.

Simple enough, she supposed, shuffling barefoot to the door to her drawing room. It was just barely eleven, almost a full hour ‘til midnight. Perhaps Mario was having trouble sleeping. He was prone to late-night restlessness, by his own admission. And even if he was asleep, Luigi might be awake, keeping watch, just in case his brother went into an unexpected decline.

They could watch over him together. The one who meant more to them both than anyone else. And should Luigi be asleep as well, then she would watch over them both. Perhaps then she would feel a bit less useless.

She opened her door in one fluid motion—

“Ah—!”

Mario’s left arm was raised, his hand balled into a loose fist, as though he’d been prepared to knock at the no-longer-closed door.

Peach mirrored his startled noise unconsciously and stepped back, taking him in, trying to decide if she’d unknowingly slipped into a dream. This Mario looked unnaturally well, after all; he’d traded his medical gown for long fleece pants and a short-sleeved red tee-shirt, both of which had clearly seen better days. His pallor was gone, his skin a deep and healthy tan, his arms covered in pale scars of varying length and thickness. His eyes were alert, and color tinted his cheeks, a lovely and rosy pink—

His cheeks. Not quite sunken in, but certainly not as plump as she remembered. She’d seen Mario in her dreams innumerable times in the past months. Only in the past few days had she seen this Mario. 

“Hey,” he finally said, and the bashful smile he graced her with was the same one she had seen that afternoon, in the medical ward, where he’d fought for and regained his life at a rate not naturally possible.

“Hey,” she responded. A similarly shy smile tugged at her lips.

Perhaps they should have lingered longer. Mario had an excuse prepared, if a flimsy one— “I just… I mean, I can’t not check in on you, I feel like I’m sleeping on the job, heh…” —and propriety dictated that Peach should thank him for his concern and see him off for the night, or perhaps invite him to sit in the drawing room with her for a few minutes. He was still supposed to be in the med ward, after all, and she was supposed to be a lady of decency and dignity.

Propriety also dictated that she shouldn’t let herself get kidnapped and indirectly force her dearest friend to abuse himself for weeks just to bring her back, so Peach, at the moment, really didn’t care what propriety called for.

There was awkwardness at first, just a smidge. Inviting him to sit seemed the best course of action. Rather than one of the seats in the drawing room or the small tea table in the opposite corner, Peach returned to her bed and sat at the edge of her mattress; Mario, after a pause, followed her, quietly closing the door behind him.

He stopped in front of her, but made no move to join her on the bed.

She was eleven inches taller than Mario (ten when barefoot, thirteen when in her fanciest shoes), so she was quite used to looming over him. But with him standing while she sat, their faces, for once, were at the same level. She could see it clearly in his visage: this was just as strange to him as it was to her.

He was close enough to touch, yet he felt so far away. What was she to make of the uncertainty that flitted across his features? Was he having second thoughts about the proposition he’d agreed to? About being here? About… about baring himself to her, proclaiming his love for her? Had he acted in an impetuous frenzy, sick with pain and relief, only to realize in a moment of clarity that it was all a lie? It wouldn’t have surprised Peach. She knew it was too good to be true.

In the ten seconds it took these thoughts to run their course, she hadn’t even noticed his hands raising, hovering so close to her face. Tentatively closing their distance. She glanced down at them and held her breath, suddenly terrified that one wrong movement would make him retreat.

“...Mario?” she chanced.

The uncertainty deepened. Mario’s brow creased and his lips formed around a single syllable, but went still before they could sound anything out.

In lieu of words, he touched her.

Peach’s breath quickened, and she felt her skin go hot beneath his palms. She was so fragile, and she was all too aware of it now, her jaw and cheeks bony from malnourishment, his hands calloused from work and powerful from experience. And yet, for the first time since departing for bed, she felt safe. He could break her so easily, yet he handled her like painted porcelain, and she knew to her very core that she couldn’t be in better care.

His hands trembled against her. In the lamplight, his eyes glinted, deep blue and cautiously attentive. Watching her.

She understood his uncertainty now, gazing into those eyes. He was waiting. He wanted her to affirm her comfort, or else tell him if he was pushing a boundary that couldn’t yet be crossed. He needed to know how far she would let him take this. 

Once more, her breath stopped… and then she gave him her answer.

In lieu of words, she kissed him.

Mario only tensed for a single heartbeat, and then he sighed against her lips, heavy and shaking, his body going slack. She pulled back to give him a chance to catch his breath and recompose himself, but he pulled her back in instead, properly cradling her face in his palms, returning her kiss deeply and slowly. All at once Peach felt hot, and dizzy, and maybe a touch dehydrated. She brought her arms around his neck and clung to him like a life raft, like she was adrift in an endless sea and he was her one and only saving grace.

This was everything and nothing like that night in the grass. Wonderful, beautiful, perfect— but where there had been fireworks that night, there was now a flame, flickering and self-sustaining and growing in steady intensity. There was no grabbing of hair, no frantic desperation, just long, unhurried stretches of bliss.

His lips were warm, and soft, and moved in unpracticed harmony with her own. He tasted sweet. Not sweet like a decadent dessert, but sweet like the first sip of water after a long day in the sun.

They parted on their own terms this time, lingering for longer and longer between kisses, each time reveling in the scant space between them. Peach wanted to look, wanted to see what sort of expression Mario wore, wanted to know that he felt as whole and satisfied as she now felt. She kept her eyes shut instead, just in case it was a dream. Just so she could enjoy it a while longer.

In an interlude for air, Mario’s thumbs ghosted over the curves of her cheekbones, his touch so gentle that it tickled.

“...Luigi said I, uh… crawled into bed with you,” he muttered, ever so slightly slurred. “That first night back. So… sorry about that.”

Peach’s face grew warm once more — so they had been caught, but left alone to rest peacefully — and she giggled. “I crawled into bed with you, Mario.” She couldn’t resist tilting her chin to steal another kiss. “Do you not remember?”

He hummed. “Everything’s still kinda fuzzy. I remember feeling all sore and loopy…” Another brush of their lips, delicate and lazy. “And I remember… feeling happy, too. There was pain, and then there wasn’t.” Even in the darkness, she could hear the smile in his voice. “I remember having the best dream.”

Peach’s eyes peeked open, the golden glow of her bedside lamp trickling into her vision. The light cast soft shadows across his face, illuminating scars and freckles and dimples, framing the mellow, dreamy smile on his lips.

He had chosen to keep his eyes closed, too. 

“I’m not ready to wake up yet,” he’d told her, delirious from exhaustion and anesthetics. Did he dream of her often? What sorts of sweet nothings did they exchange in those dreams? What words and gestures of love did he share with her, his tongue unbeholden to etiquette or shyness or whatever force held him back for so long? What she would give to hear it all uncensored, all day and all night long.

“I shouldn’t be here.”

Peach, already leaning in for another kiss, withdrew just as quickly.

Mario’s eyes blinked open as a new silence fell between them, and instantly she knew the look he gave her. She’d come to recognize it even when she was still oblivious, the hopeful twinkle that hid behind every offer to fix something that didn’t particularly need fixed and every request to assist her in her work, however menial.

He shouldn’t have been there, a man in the Princess’ most private chambers at this hour. He knew this as well as she did. And he was begging her to give him a reason to stay anyway.

Peach, for her part, could find no shortage of excuses.

“Of course you should.” She unwound her arms from around his neck as she spoke, cupping his cheeks just as he cupped hers. “You’re my guard, are you not? I’d feel safest if you remained within arm’s reach.”

She always found reasons for him to stay. Over the years, she’d become an expert at conjuring up something that needed done that only Mario could assist with, and every single time, that hopeful twinkle flared into an aura of satisfaction and contentment, sometimes even excitement.

This made the darkness that fell over him, sudden and cold, that much more alarming.

She barely had time to call his name before that darkness lifted. The air around them remained dense, and a flurry of emotions flicked across his face too quickly for Peach to decipher any of them, but he smiled through it, small and doleful but sincere.

“Yes.” He pulled her in once more, and her eyelids fluttered shut in anticipation. This time, however, he redirected; he kissed her left cheek, light and fleeting, before pressing his forehead to her temple. “Yes, I’ll… I’ll keep you safe this time, Princess.” 

He inhaled, then exhaled, both breaths shaking and quiet, and Peach couldn’t help but wonder why she suddenly felt sad.

Just as quickly as sorrow touched her, he chased it away with another kiss to her cheek, ticklish and sweet and slow. “I’ll keep you safe.” He whispered the affirmation, and she felt his lips curl upward against her skin. “I promise.”

[maxlarens]

just thinking of mercedes driver seeing engineer george in lewis-esque clothes out in public and going into cardiac arrest. has to sit down, everyone’s asking her if she’s feeling okay, all the while she just needs to make sure she can slow down the beat of her heart. george is like “do you think i look ok? :(“ kinda unsure of himself, and for once, the driver can’t say anything flirtatious back with ease. she just needs a MOMENT! to herself!!

DUDEEEE YEAH. maybe there’s a casual team event or something and lewis is like alright lemme dress you because i’m sick of seeing you in a team polo and fucking white chinos😭 and his ulterior motive is of course to mess with reader. i think literally all it takes is a baggy pants and oversized t-shirt tbfh. its that thing where u see someone who dresses very specifically one way dress entirely differently and it breaks your brain in a good way. and it breaks her brain for sure!!

like she catches a glimpse of him and immediately goes somewhere else to process it. like it’s too much for her george-addled brain lmao. and yesss lol everyones like hey are you okay?? what are you doing in this corner?? and i like to think that lewis is a shit stirrer when it comes to them. so he very pointedly brings george to her.

URGH but yeah. george is all bashful like oh lewis gave me this to wear i dont really know about it etc etc. and she’s nodding grimacing trying not to jump him right there. and he just thinks she’s ill or something😭

[lookingfts]

Friday Fic Rec 9/20

Thanks so much for your submissions! I actually got so many that I’m going to save some for next week, so if you don’t see something you recommended, I will include it later!

Titles are links to each fic.

can’t turn back now by idkmanokay

"This mob boss Anthony and BAMF Kate is absolutely amazing. I love it when they match each other’s freak a thousand percent.”

Description: anthony inherits his father’s empires and finally meets his match in a secretive kate

WIP (12/14) - E - 64k words

So Help Me God by writesforpleasure

“It’s a very interesting story about Kate and Anthony as camp counsellors at a religious summer camp!! It addresses themes of religious guilt, atheism and God, from their perspectives.”

Description: Kate, Anthony, and company navigate American Christian summer camp. What could go wrong?

WIP (5/?) - NR - 14k words

An Inconvenient Arrangement by @doodlingaway

“This story is set after the Sheffield dinner. What if Anthony was honest with Edwina regarding their loveless marriage? And then Kate proposes a marriage of convenience. Chaos ensues. It's a brilliant emotional revelation. Really anything by this author is A+!”

Description: After the Sheffield dinner, Anthony is struck by Kate’s mention that he would break her sister’s heart by calling off their engagement. He decides that a conversation is in order between them to clear the air, which goes about as well as you might expect. Kate is left to pick up the pieces and find a way forward for her family. Which, most disconcertingly, might just involve the one person who has caused all this pain for her family to begin with.

Complete - T - 18k words

bloom by antematter

“An oldie but a goodie. I just reread this as antematter has been pumping out hit after hit these last couple of months. Every one of her stories is stunningly beautiful, but this one was the OG for me. I still remember reading it the first time round in complete awe and waiting so anxiously for the second chapter. It was my first soul marks fic, and I’ve been in love with the trope ever since. Antematter is a fandom gem!“

Description: Kate is born with a single tulip on the inside of her left wrist and a red lily on her right. This in itself is not particularly unusual. a soulmates au

Complete - T - 7k words

dowry by afreenafreen

“Dowry is a masterpiece, a fic focused on Kate's feelings after Anthony's marriage proposal to Edwina, but the difference is that although Kate is destroyed, she also feels freed when Anthony refuses any dowry and with the added bonus of a friendship between Kate and Dorset.”

Description: She is glad that Edwina managed to find a good match for herself - despite all of Kate's meddling and disapproval and interference. And after she goes home and hands the settlement papers to Mary with careful instructions regarding its notarization and safekeeping, she must congratulate her sister as well, sweetly and sincerely, and wash her hands off the entire affair. For she has now been set free.

WIP (5/10) - M - 28k words

A Promise Made In Haste by @waterlilyrose

“Hands down the best take on the 'What if Anthony married Edwina' premise that I have read. It's a very slow burn as the author takes the time to actually navigate regency era divorce (taking some liberties, of course). A really spectacular, thorough journey to their HEA.”

Description: An AU where Anthony actually goes through with marrying Edwina and Kate actually goes back to India. And Anthony and Edwina (after maybe a year or so into their marriage--which is going miserably by the way) go to visit her in India.

Complete - E - 107k words

time makes fools of us all. by limeny

Description: Kate gave her sister the most exasperated look she could manage in a fuzzy pink sweater. “Edwina Sharma,” she scoffed. “What on Earth possessed you to say yes to a loser that would allow a bored widow to play matchmaker for him?” A modern AU love story in the span of a year.

Complete - M - 20k words

LFTS rec: Kate the Virgin by @rosesatdawn24

Such a fun plot for our two dumb lovebirds. Sweet and sexy and you don’t need me to tell you that my girl Rose is an absolutely amazing writer.

Description: A Jane the Virgin AU

WIP (16/40) - E - 32k words

Thanks to those who submitted! Keep your recs coming! You can find previous weeks under the "lfts fic recs" tag.