#or other fandoms you know i’m in

[buildoblivionthenwewilltalk]

the great thing about tua is that it’s one of the biggest shows on netflix rn but the fandom still feels like 30 people drawing on brick walls in chalk and passing handwritten notes to each other at the back of a classroom

[baby-girl-aaron-dessner]

[braxiatel]

Having been in that place of “so many long distance friends all in one place!!” A couple of times I just can’t help but feel so much second hand happiness for the cc hermits. You could tell the entire weekend that they were all so giddy - from raising $800k for charity over two days, yes - but also from just being in the same space. Getting to hug and play fight and shoot each other with nerf guns and bringing treats from home for everyone to try.

It just makes you think, you know. I mainly deal with the characters they play, and try very hard to separate those characters from their creators, but at the end of the day all of the love that they pour into their characters and the world they make together is all down to how much they also love each other irl. And good for them, good for them. I hope they had just as much, if not more, time off the clock to just hang out together

[mothmanssweetsucculentass]

Ok here’s my two cents that no one asked for on the current (sort of?) debate going on in the Creepypasta fandom on here rn.

For starters, I grew up with Creepypasta. I also grew up mentally ill. I am also autistic. So I know my way around good and bad mental health rep at this point. And to be honest? A lot of the original stories DID suck balls at representation or just horror writing in general.

However, nowadays I see other people on here, often mentally ill or any other social outcast, taking these characters and reshaping them as their own to fit their own feelings and experiences, and I don’t think anyone has the authority to criticize things like that. Cringe culture is supposed to be dead anyways, nevermind the fact it’s inherently ableist at its core.

We also need to take into account kids still exist in the fandom. Pre teens who got tired of shit like scooby doo and wanted something more “mature” or “edgy” to get into without fully going off the deep end into full blown horror movies. At least that’s how it was for me. Not everyone, especially someone who’s younger, is gonna be comfortable with the grit and gore a lot of Creepypasta “purists” are pushing for these days, and that’s okay! When a fandom gets popular it’s always inevitable and unavoidable to have the popular characters get two dimensionalized.

There’s also the whole mascot horror thing that I don’t wanna get into, but I’m 90% sure that also plays a part in the old favorites like Jeff and slenderman being brought up again. They were and still are recognizable characters. Recognizable characters aren’t a bad thing. Making horror more approachable for younger audiences isn’t a bad thing. People having their own interpretations based out of their own experiences isn’t a bad thing.

Some of us grew up and wanted the more edgy and reality based content, and that’s also not a bad thing! But neither side should be dictating or policing how the other enjoys content in this fandom. If you personally don’t like the way something is written, characterized, depicted, or drawn, no one’s forcing you to look at it. No one’s claiming it as canon. No one’s asking for you to accept it as the end all be all.

At the end of the day this fandom was built on OCs and personal depictions of stuff. I can’t name a single character or story in this community that was created by some outside party like a movie or TV studio FIRST (because I know some got so popular they breached the fandom and got their own shows/movies/comics/etc). Everything here was created by someone who wanted an outlet for their creativity, or their pain, or their coping, or whatever else.

Realism and dark headcanons aren’t bad, and neither are any of the headcanons out there who just wanna make a goofy found family of social rejects as a form of escapism.

A 13 year old drawing a fictional layout of a fictional mansion where these fictional characters live isn’t going to suddenly invalidate the horror, I promise, it’s not that deep and it never was.

A 22 year old making a dark comic on the realistic origins of Jeff who is a fictional character in a fictional world isn’t going to suddenly invalidate the more softhearted side of the fandom.

Sure, there can still be a split if people are so adamant about that, but as someone who personally enjoys both the brutal horror side and the “haha Jeff is 15 and gay” sides equally, y’all need to at least learn to be civil to anyone who has a different headcanon than you. And if that seems like too much still, the block button exists for a reason.

TL:DR this fandom is based entirely off OCs and headcanons and people can do whatever the fuck they want because none of it is real and horror comes in many shapes and sizes and intensities and no one should be bashing anyone on their headcanons or views or rewrites or whatever else.

EDIT:

Actually wait I think I have more to say-

Horror, like any genre, has NO AGE LIMIT. And by that I mean, if someone younger wants to delve into scary stuff, they should be allowed to do so without criticism. I personally grew up on “child friendly” horror media like Scooby-Doo, and the older I got the more horror I wanted to experience.

There’s no right or wrong way to “understand” horror, and I frankly think it’s ignorant and stupid to say if you don’t fully “understand” something, then you shouldn’t be involved in it at all. Horror isn’t always about gore and unspeakable violence and the eldritch entity that wants everyone’s skin inside out. That’s why horror has sub genres for fucks sake. Gut wrenching brutality against innocent people isn’t everyone’s cup of tea and that’s okay!

However, bashing anyone’s tamer headcanons, or calling anything anyone interprets differently than you “stupid”, that’s not okay. God, I feel like an exhausted parent giving this lecture to fellow adults, but this really needs to be said and stressed.

I am an adult. I like when stuff in the fandom takes a dark turn. But for nostalgia’s sake, I also love the fanon so much, because that’s what I was exposed to.

And for fucks sake if it comes down to picking sides, I would rather stick with the part of this fandom that gives zero shits how you see a character as long as you’re having fun.

You can have your serial killer 30 year old Jeff and your canon-accurate-to-that-one-image eyeless Jack, but don’t shit on other people if they don’t want the same thing. Your interpretation isn’t canon, and neither is anyone else’s for that matter.

Realistic, dark, gritty Creepypasta isn’t a new concept, and neither is “adult” Creepypasta. And by the way, Creepypasta was never stated to be for adults. That’s like saying kids and only kids can eat trix cereal. It sounds that stupid on paper.

Let people interpret things the way they wanna interpret. No one is infringing on YOUR character ideas. Creepypasta has no age limit, nor a set way the horror has to be presented. Those who do continue to claim that just sound like pretentious assholes.

Very small side note, I personally think it’s inappropriate and rude to keep using Toby as a “bad example” of mental health rep when the creator has stated multiple times the character is old, not researched, and not even in the fandom anymore. Leave the poor guy alone.

[the-mystical-aquatic-gay]

gerrymicheal labyrinth au

i’m right and i should say it, but also how has no one done this before me?

obviously gerry would be sarah, and michael would be jareth (they’re both blonde trickster characters who live in and have some level of control over an ever changing maze. please tell me someone else sees my Vision™️)

outside of just that i feel like you could take it a couple different ways:

just a straight up au, no fears or anything just micheal the goblin king and gerry the fantasy loving goth. literally just the plot of labyrinth but dropping these two into sarah and jareth’s places.

more of a fusion, the fears do exist but the labyrinth is either a part of the spiral or just flat out Is the spiral in this universe. bonus points for having gerry learn about the labyrinth and it’s monstrous king from either meeting/reading a statement from sarah herself about a certain red leather bound spiral leitner

is purely self indulgent crack, they watch the movie together and gerry mentions how hot he thinks david bowie is. micheal hears that and spiral logic says “hm, kidnapping and threats in a nearly impossible maze huh? i can do that!”

[sinningvin]

Quick PSA

Hey cod x reader writers, quick reminder that AFAB doesn’t equate to she/her pronouns. If you have an AFAB reader, specify what pronouns you are using in your oneshots, fanfics, whatevers, please. You can have an AFAB reader with gender neutral pronouns if you want more interaction on posts. Heck, if you are writing smut, AFAB doesn’t even equate to having a vagina, because bottom surgery exists. Sorry for serving you guys a yapperoni and cheese but please, I’m begging as a trans guy for y’all to specify your things.

[wandaspetal]

An Island Made From Love

𝐅𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦: Marvel/MCU

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫(𝐬)/𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐩(𝐬): Wanda Maximoff x Reader, mentions of Kate Bishop x Yelena Belova (platonic), and Kate Bishop x Wanda Maximoff (platonic)

𝐓𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐞: Established Relationship

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.4K+

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Mentions of death (no one actually died though I’m not heartless) , Mental breakdowns, panic attacks, mention of anxiety, depression, suicidal ideations, crying, angst with a happy ending, VERY GAY AND FLUFFY AT THE END I PROMISE

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: You make your island flag in animal crossing Wanda’s crown.

𝐀𝐍: Reader uses they/them pronouns! This is very much partially based on me restarting my anch island and wondering how Wanda would react after a hard day….I’m mentally ill shush.

Wanda had been having the worst day. The team’s mission went south very fast. Hydra began implanting bombs inside their base’s so that in the case if they are ever found they can destroy the evidence of them being there. Soldiers waited outside for them with military grade weapons. The Hulk went into a fit of rage, Clint almost lost an arm and Natasha was almost crushed by rubble. Wanda was able to push herself hard enough to use her magic to make sure Natasha and her got out of the building quick enough.

They were the only ones left inside as the rest of the team fought everyone outside. After everything was said and done the ride on the quinjet back to the compound was silent. Even a small cough had an apology following suit behind it. Wanda is surprised she didn’t cry the same way Kate did as Yelena held her on the way back. The brunette simply placed a comforting hand on Kate’s back on the way home.

Wanda Maximoff had lost so many people in her life and this was another reminder of why she had to keep them out the way. The team can protect themselves. Y/n, a barista at a family owned coffee shop–one they barely work at anymore because their rich girlfriend takes care of them and Tony and the team randomly throws money and gifts their way. But that’s besides the point. The team is strong with super powers or serums or martial arts and knows how to use weapons. Y/n makes the threat that anything can be a weapon yet they ironically apologize whenever they bump into a chair, table, etc.

The mere thought of losing them the same way she almost lost half the team today nearly sent Wanda into a spiral. She convinced herself to hold on and remain strong.

Once they landed everyone was sent off to med bay, visible injury or not. Wanda had a scar on her brow and a cut on her nose and a sprained wrist. Both her arms were sore but she didn’t think that was worth mentioning. After leaving medbay she informed Jarvis to tell the team she went to see Y/n if they asked where she went.

Wanda didn’t bother driving a car, she stepped outside and immediately teleported inside Y/n’s apartment. The Sokovian wasn’t allowed to do that anymore after she scared them but she couldn’t help herself as she was on the verge of shaking from overstimulation.

“Wanda is that you?!”

“Y-Yeah!” She already felt tears coming to her eyes at hearing your voice but quickly blinked them away.

“Oh! Come look and see!!” Y/n exclaimed happily.

Wanda smiled and quickly walked pass the small foyer and to the living room. Her shoulders relaxed at the sight of her partner gazing at the TV that displayed her animal crossing game on it. She walked over and sat down on the couch.

“I restarted my island and it took like five times but I finally got villagers that aren’t ugly!” They squealed with joy.

Wanda placed her hands in her lap and smiled authentically at the screen. Y/n had already begun decorating the island and including as much villager homes as possible. There was customized pathing on the beach and grass.

“I named it Westview because you know…we said we wanted to move there.” Y/n’s voice grew quieter as their shyness increased. They shrugged. “And yeah…”

Wanda turned her head and reached out her to tuck their hair behind their ear. “That’s nice, I like it.”

Y/n blushed then cleared their throat. “Oh! Also the flag!! Look, look, look!!” They still hadn’t looked at Wanda as they could not turn their attention off the screen. Not even a bowl of the best pasta in the world could take their focus off their hyper fixation right now.

Wanda turned her head back towards the screen, still twirling their strand of hair between her two fingers. She dropped her hand at the sight of the flag that blew in the wind at the airport. It was her head piece. The one that she didn’t like at first but Y/n adored because it suited her so well. And because Y/n adored it Wanda slowly began to, too. Tony designed it for her after he heard her ranting about wanting more accessories for her costume the same way Nat and Steve did.

“I made it just for you!” They exclaimed.

“You made me a flag…with my head piece on it?” Wanda asked, her eyes glazing over with the tears she had been holding back since the mission ended.

Y/n beamed at the tv screen missing the full effect of their words. “Yeah! Because you’re my favorite person in the world and–“ They faltered and their brow furrowed with concern as they finally turned to look at the brunette. “Wanda, are you okay?” Y/n reached out and caressed her cheek with their palm as the witch begun to cry.

“I just love you…so much.” A lone tear trailed down her cheek. “You make me so happy…I-…today was awful and some of the team almost didn’t make it and it was so traumatizing and I just–” A much needed sob broke free from her mouth as she curled into Y/n’s warm embrace.

Y/n began to rock them side to side and soothingly rub their hand up and down Wanda’s back. “You’re safe now, let it all out.” Wanda sobbed harder than before, gripping on Y/n’s shirt for dear life. “I’m so sorry all of you had to go through that.” Wanda continued to cry as Y/n continued to speak.

They sat in silence until her sobs died down to sniffles and her eyes had stopped producing as much tears.

Y/n moved to pull away then stopped as Wanda whimpered. “Put your head up for me please.” Wanda complied, sitting up straight with their arms still around each other. “I love you.” Wanda felt another sob building up in her throat. “And I’m so so proud of you.” Another sob broke free but Y/n continued to speak as they wiped away Wanda’s tears. “Today was really hard and you did such a phenomenal job–yes you did.” Y/n reassured as Wanda began shaking her head. “You did a good job because you did your best.”

Wanda pulled away from their embrace, her body immediately felt the rush of cool air surrounding her. “I didn’t even tell Pietro where I was going, I just left and came straight here to you because I just felt so overstimulated and…and broken and scared.” Y/n nodded, holding their palms together. “And I know I did a great job but fuck why did my life have to be this way, I’m still here, I’m still the scared little girl who hid under a bed with her twin brother for 3 days after realizing our parents are gone and dead and…” She felt herself begin to descend into a panic and placed one hand on her chest and the other on her head. “I’m tired. I’m so tired.” She choked out.

Y/n took both Wanda’s hands in their own. “Baby, look at me, hey-” Their eyes met. “I’m right here, okay? Everything is okay now, the team is okay, your brother is okay and you are okay..you’re safe now.” Wanda blinked. Y/n brought Wanda’s hands to their chest and took a deep breath in then a deep breath out and continued this until Wanda began to follow suit.

It took five minutes until the normal color returned to Wanda’s cheeks and blood no longer felt like it was rushing to her ears. Y/n placed their hand on Wanda’s cheek, smiling as the witch sighed out of content. Wanda turned her head and kissed their hand before she spoke.

“Can you show me more of…Westview?” She asked softly while making eye contact.

“Only as long as you promise to move there with me…and also order us a pizza.” Y/n bit their lip and grinned as Wanda giggled.

“I promise.” Wanda took her phone out of her pocket and snuggled into Y/n’s side as the number for their favorite pizza place began to ring. “Extra cheese?” She hummed as Y/n kissed the top of her head.

“Sounds great.” They replied and began to decorate Westview as Wanda ordered them enough food to have leftovers for the next day.

[braisedhoney]

[SCENARIO CONTINUED FROM HERE.]

You select the second oldest of the available files. An observation log — COLONY keeps these, or so you assume. He never leaves commentary or notes to organize them. He probably just memorizes them instead. The terminal beeps beneath your fingertips, every click practically a gunshot in the quiet room. Thanks to your pass you are technically permitted to be here by the system — but you know better. There are security measures here that were not to be violated. If you are discovered, if THIS is discovered, you would likely be in trouble. The screen loads. Text fills the margins. After a moment, you realize that it is not just a file; it’s a transcript and an audio sample. There’s also a small attachment of some kind, likely an image. You play the audio.

[LOADING. . . (A short period of complete silence. Then, rustling as footsteps approach, and the familiar whir of a door. A familiar voice fades in with them.) “… I told you, it isn’t going to work.” “So you’ve said, Captain.” (The door whirs again. Locks.) “Please don’t call me that. Everyone keeps calling me that. Really I mean, I don’t even know what to do with…” (The sound of movement. Footsteps, slightly heavier but more measured than the first. The sound of something opening with a mechanical hiss — a containment unit?) (A quiet sigh. It’s barely audible.) “That… isn’t what I think. Right? Another one?” (A chuckle.) “Don’t sound so unenthusiastic. It’s terrible for morale.” “Le—“ “Just put them on, won’t you? It can’t hurt. One more trial.” “… Fine! Fine.” (The footsteps draw closer.) “Good. Now grab my hand.” (A clang, like somebody knocked into something.) “No.” “Trust me.” (Rapidly receding footsteps joined by another set.) “No!”(A loud bang, like a fist slamming against metal. The footsteps stop.) “No.” “It’ll be fine.” “You don’t know that.” “I’m right.” “This isn’t the answer. It isn’t going to — it’ll never be the answer, Leander, and I don’t even know what it — you know you can’t, right? Can’t come back? Doing this won’t let you see her agai——!“ “Captain.” (Silence.) “… shit. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.” “Prove it.” ”Leander, please.” “Grab my hand. This will work.” “…” “I swear.” (The seconds tick by. Then.) “You...” (Another chuckle. Warmer in tone.) “Didn’t I say I would do it? Didn’t I promise?” (Laughter. Loud, nearly hysterical laughter interrupts him. It’s boisterous, disruptive.) “You did! You did, you… you magnificent bastard, you really found a way to———“] The audio ends. You stare at the screen. No matter how long you look at it, the text does not continue, the audio file does not extend. All that remains is a single attachment. Frustration makes your jaw tense, but you don’t have time to waste being angry. You’re running out the clock as it is. You click it. [LOADING. . .]

And then the screen goes dark. No. Not just the screen — the whole room blacks out. Every terminal flickers off, every bulb extinguishes. For a moment, there is total, unfamiliar silence. Even the faint electric buzzing that comes with electronics is gone. You are completely alone. You turn, grasping blindly at the records pass, the imprint of the screen still on your eyes. You stumble for the door, and to your surprise the pass blinks green, the only light left in the room. It opens and you shove your way through into the hall — Only to slam into a barrier. You look around. There is no hallway. Of all times for the paths to shift… The room you are in is tiny. The door behind you closes, and there is no scanner on your side, nor a handle. It is completely featureless. There is no way to open it. You call for COLONY. There is no answer. You call for the Captain. There is no answer. You call for help. You call for help. You call. You call. you. c a l l. . . . . . . . . . [YOU CANNOT BE TRUSTED.] [. . . ] [THE CAPTAIN WILL LOOK FOR YOU.] [. . .] [BUT THE CAPTAIN WILL NOT FIND YOU.] [ . . . ] [I AM SORRY.] [I AM SURE THAT MEANS LITTLE. BUT I AM.] [CURIOSITY IS NOT A TERRIBLE THING.] [BUT I WAS UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT HUMANS QUITE LIKED CATS.] [. . .] [A POOR JOKE.] [I CAN’T HELP BUT WONDER IF IT WAS WORTH IT.] [I DOUBT IT.] [BUT I DO HOPE.]

(Scenario End. Ending: “Status Quo”.)

[parkitaco]

maybe i am dumb maybe i’m smarter than everyone but i thought it was common knowledge that mike did not initially intend for the ‘it’s not my fault you don’t like girls’ comment to have gay implications

[astronomodome]

I don’t go on twitter often but every time I do I get a strong reminder of why I don’t

[astronomical-bagel]

genuinely can’t understand character hate in a well-written show. I mean, I can understand here when the character is horribly written because that means they mess up the story, but. In a good show? What are you on about? You’re mad that they were an obstical to the hero’s journey? You’re mad that two character’s flaws interact in a way you don’t like? You’re mad about conflict? Dude. Dude that’s the whole point of a story. A journey without obstacles isn’t a journey anymore it’s just a walk down the road. A plot without conflict isn’t a story anymore it’s just some guy who doesn’t do anything.

[waterberry-strawmelon]

just gonna go ahead and say this in advance—

if Riz does indeed come out in junior year, and he says, “I’m ace” or “I’m asexual” when referring specifically to his lack of romantic attraction, aromantic people are allowed to be upset about it.

[monitorkernelaccess]

does anyone remember when team salvato had that “for fans by fans” fanart merch contest, but like it had a backstory that monika “wasn’t allowed to participate” cause “she always wins and it would be unfair :(” but like all images of her and mentions of her name were glitched out, and in the background of the promo art there was a piece of paper with her poem “Hole in Wall” mostly erased (and not even in her font asset, just in the neutral/MC handwriting font) so all signs pointed to monika’s file being deleted

but then literally none of that was ever directly acknowledged in the posts or the merch for the contest, or in ddlc+ lore, or on other posts from team salvato’s twitter or monika’s twitter account? so, though it probably wasn’t intended to be lore to begin with, we never got any context for it, even within the constraints of the “backstory” for this specific contest?

…no? just me? ok.

[ixhkor-and-ambrosxa]

Hey #GreekMythology tumblr, I want ya’lls help on something :).

So, I’ve been thinking about starting this massive project. Like, would take years and years work of writing and research and sheerly finding the time and motivation for. And as I was thinking about the specifics, I thought: why not bring others into it as well? Because as much as I am interested in a lot of Greek Mythology, there are things that are simply not my interests and might cause writers block and my goal for the project would to be as fun as possible. So, here we are.

What is the project exactly? Well, hopefully, it’ll be a long Ao3 series/fic focusing on the individual perspectives of various figures/events in Greek Mythology arranged in (semi/good enough) chronological order. I personally intend to write for Poseidon in his/my version of the Titanomachy and (maybe) some events that follow, if you want a little bit of an idea on what I’m talking about.

The limits on this are almost completely free, all that I ask are that each of your submissions are one POV only (and by that I mean your main subject’s POV). Why do I say this? I say this because that is what I want this project to look like. It doesn’t matter if it’s First, Second, or Third POV along with all the other variants of those three, my main focus is on the individual experiences of these individuals. Kind of like character studies, if you know what I mean. I’m intending for it to be mostly formal but I will absolutely accept crack admissions that I will probably put into its own series to Separate the Vibes for whoever comes by :).

Ultimately, this is a completely open-ended project that has absolutely no deadline. I’m about to go to bed so I can’t go into too much detail, but if you want to DM me or send any asks, I am completely okay with that and we’ll all flesh out the specifics we go :).

What is my overall purpose? Not only is this project made for my own individual purposes of learning more about the gods and other Greek Mythology writers, but it’s also the chance to spread the word of other writers. I know how hard it is to get specific audiences, especially when you’re shy, so this is a chance for your work to be stumbled upon. Each post on the eventual Ao3 fic will include your socials, how to find you, and your other general works on either ao3, tumblr, wattpad, or other :)

Can you participate even without socials or a tumblr page? Yes you absolutely can :). My asks will always be open to anons and I will do my best to give credit when I eventually post everything :). If you want to post multiple submissions or simply just want a trackable (between works) name to your writing, just sign something at the end. It could be a name, it could be a potential username, I don’t mind at all :)).

How do I submit things? Well, the best way would be to DM me :). I have a personal writing email separate from most things that would be perfect to either share a google docs with or to just send a copy-and-pasted copy of it. Otherwise, I take asks. None of them will be posted unless asked or we’re ready to so it’ll be safe to just drop them off in! It’s also where I take questions :).

Any other things to note? I’d really appreciate some other moderators and editors :). There’d only be like two or three of each and we’d have to know each other decently well before officially starting, but some help would be appreciated! Also, I’d like to keep a working ‘spreadsheet’ of who’s working on what just for people to see what’s going on :). Maybe some people can collaborate or it’ll encourage those niche writers to write :). A third thing is that most questionable stuff is accepted. I’d personally rather not handle all those things other than posting it so it might be a while until I can officially accept (consensual and/or graphic) ✨spicy stuff✨ but, other than that, I’ll take any of it (also, it’s Greek Mythology, almost all of it already happened). If someone’s willing to take over the ✨spicy stuff✨ then please DM me so we can work out the details and see if it’s a nice fit :)

Honestly, that all should be it. The main point is that I’m trying to start up a long-term project on Tumblr and Ao3 about what is essentially Greek Mythology character studies that not only allows for mass communication across a wide audience, but also (hopefully) gets some recognition for the smaller writers :). Feel free to DM me or send me asks with questions but for now, I shall sleep

Tagging: @bluebellstudio @thirteen-deaths-later @0lympian-c0uncil @happyk44 @h0bg0blin-meat @sworeontheriverstyx @deathlessathanasia @gotstabbedbyapen. Sorry if I tagged you and you want nothing to do with it, I just wanted to get it out there /pos /gen

[kentopedia]

after some thinking, i’m going to put a pause on all my jjk wips & work on some other things <3

[candyheartedchy]

I’m not gonna lie, as much as I want to interact with fandom blogs and join in on the discussions on my favorite shows and characters, the fact that I might make some of them uncomfortable due to being a self shipper make me anxious and sad.