#or the one where i was a japanese girl sitting in her room full of plushies using tumblr on her pink rubix cube cellphone (w cute charms)

[sewercentipede]

what does ketamine feel like?

so many things <3 its impossible to explain

well its not impossible it just takes a shitton of effort and time and energy to go thru alll the details of how it feels and what it does at what dose (because its very dose dependent) etc etc etc and ive painstakingly relayed this info so many times for people on tumblr who have asked me what ket feels like but!!! shitty shithead tumblr wont let me access any of those fucking posts and asks, its like theyre gone forever, all because of tumblr's garbage search function

one of them was such a fucking good very instructive detailed guide to how to do ketamine for the first time too,,, and tumblr stole it from me to be forever lost grrrr

and one of them was a very elaborate description of what k-holes and k-land is like........

but i will never find them

so all i can do is uhhhhh give u bits and pieces of ketamine experiences like this this this this this this this this and this but none of them will give you much insight into what its like to be in a k-hole (Full-blown hallucination-land of cozy music-influenced space-time-interior-design-morphing euphoria) although james st james gets close

maybe youll hav ebetter luck than me w tumblrs fickle search function if u go to my blog and use search term "ketamine" maybe youll find the lost asks that contain so much precious information

[ahiddenpath]

Digimon Adventure 02: The Beginning

I just got home from seeing the Japanese audio/English sub. This is not a review, and I doubt I'll feel the same way about it in a few days, because I'm all up in my emotions and I haven't had a think on it. So here is nothing more or less than my visceral, 100% subjective reaction.

Extreme spoilers beneath the cut, spoilin spoilin all day long. Also cussing and blaspheming, apparently I like to keep it classy.

My head is a boiling vat of pudding.

As the film ended, someone screamed, "Toei why you gotta do us like that?!" Someone else yelled, "Jesus Christ I did not need that in my life." As we filed out, another gem: "They had a digital god in this one, and they still didn't unfuck Kizuna." (That last one, I think, while funny, was not relevant. This wasn't about the older kids, they had their turn and several more, lmao).

Some notes:

-Genuinely I was not prepared for a horror. Or child abuse. I love horror games! I watch them nearly daily! Did you know I have only once been more upset/disturbed by a horror video game than I was by this movie?

Did people take their kids to this? Like, that seems totally reasonable to me, taking your kid to digimon!!! Jesus cHRISt!!!!

-I thought my bar of, "I want to see the 02 kids grown up and interacting," was so, so low. I thought my bar could not be lower. But this was Lui's story, not theirs. And this is Toei's story, not mine, so I have to accept that... They wrote what they wanted to. But yeah, the bar I thought was low was not cleared.

-SOMEONE HELP ME, Himekawa is older than Lui. Himekawa's group, they were the first Chosen. Right??? Does the time line not shake out here??? Himekawa was probably about 10/11 when she was Chosen, and she's a full ass adult in Tri??? So, like, I guess the question is, how much older is her group than Lui at age 4? Are they at least 6 years older???? But- God what age would that make- God damn let me get the chart. Shit, I'm lost. Help??????

Shit I liked:

-Lui's second birthday scene

Not the original scene where Lui meets Ukkomon. This is the second birthday, his 8th birthday, where they sit in a dark room full of presents and treats. Ukkomon mentions Lui's parents and friends. They enter the room and proceed to not say a single ducking word while Ukkomon and Lui talk and talk and talk, and it is the creepiest and most atmospheric shit I have seen. Holy shit!!!!

Obviously, the audience already knows shit is fucked up with Ukkomon, but at this point, ooooooooooooooooo baby that tension is HIGH.

-Power in the hands of children

Ukkomon is, like, seconds old when he meets Lui. Lui is 4 and extremely disenfranchised, even for a 4-year-old. Lui wishes for what he doesn't have. Ukkomon devotes his whole self to those wishes.

What happens when a 4 year old meets a baby genie? When that much power is in the hands of the innocent?

You don't want to know, trust me. Lowkey wish I didn't know!!! Christ on a bike!

As much as we love digimon and the Chosen and all of that, it's always been messed up how much power they have, and how much responsibility. It's so much pressure, it's so high stakes! It was really cool to see Toei explore how sideways all of this could go, literally at any moment.

-A few character moments

Honestly that part where a girl is chatting up Ken and Wormmon is visibly pissed is, like, my favorite thing in this movie. Oh! Also I loved seeing the international Chosen, that was so great. The gut scream of WALLACE/WILLIS in the theater when he appeared!!!!!!

Bonus:

My husband said he liked how there was a command center in Imperialdramon's head. I think that was actually some kind of... plane??? Made by Ukkomon??? I have no idea. You know, the place where Ken and Daisuke are accused of flirting.

Stuff I didn't like

-It was half flash back

I'm being a little harsh here, because stuff other than flashbacks happened in the first 46 minutes, but... I checked my phone after the final flashback (not counting Lui jumping into Ukkomon in the end). I was 46 minutes into a roughly 90 minute film. I'm not against flashbacks in principle, and I tend to like new characters, but... This just wasn't what I hoped for in a movie about the 02 kids. I accept that this is 100% subjective.

-It was too damned fucked up for my tastes

Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeesus H Christ!!!!!

Okay, so first of all, I generally am of the opinion that a lot of recent media has substituted trauma for substance. It's easy to make an audience pity/relate to/feel protective of a character by showing them suffer.

Lui wetting himself was so disturbing for me- in children, that's often a sign of ongoing abuse. I could easily be reading into it, but that combined with the range of age of his bruises (and he had more fresh contusions, too, they start red and turn purple and brown and eventually a yellow green) hinted that this wasn't some one off occasion caused by a sudden spike of stress. That was Lui's life. And he really might have frozen to death that night, if not for Ukkomon.

In a way, if I'm right and not just reading into things, this scene was well done. But also, like... I just don't enjoy the substitution of trauma for gradually making us care about a character and understand what they've been through. It seems like some kind of heavy handed short cut, and it usually has the opposite effect on me- thrusting me out of the narrative and making me distrustful of it.

Or maybe I'm just distancing myself, because I genuinely get so upset.

And don't even get me started on the scene where Ukkomon dissolves. I was not ready for that shit. It was just too much for me, I'm sensitive, lmao!

-I'm not sure what I think of the Chosen reacting to Lui's story

I kind of felt like the Chosen were oddly hard on Lui? They weren't actually, in reality they encouraged him to find a resolution with Ukkomon and reminded him that relationships go two ways.

But, like. Could someone have, like... Idk I was really waiting for someone to cry or hug Lui or reassure him or something? Instead it was like, "Poor Ukkomon. He tried so hard and you relied on him too much!"

And my visceral reaction to that was, "UKKOMON KILLED AT LEAST ONE OF LUI'S PARENTS AND MADE THEM MEAT PUPPETS FOR YEARS, JESUS!!!! AND YOU WANT LUI TO GO SEE UKKOMON AGAIN?!?!?!?!?" Like, that whole thing was literally a nightmare??? But Ukkomon was an actual whole ass baby god, and then again, as my husband put it, "Ukkomon did what CPS wouldn't." Lui needed help, stat.

I'm gonna need some time to sort how I feel about this. I can say that, as I watched, I felt like the emotional tone was really off for the last half of the film. All I could think about was the horror, and any time someone criticized Lui, or even told him to go see Ukkomon, I was just like- MEAT. PUPPET!!!! MEAT!!! PUPPET!!!! (Did those kids that Ukkomon made Lui's friends also die?!?!?!). Literally, snow was falling and the Chosen were playing, and my head was like, MEAT. PUPPET!!!!

There's no walking back that emotion, at least not in a 40 some minute window. Not for me, personally. I'm probably going to have nightmares. If I knew going in that this was a horror, I'd be fine with that. But gdi I though I'd see my blorbos having good times mixed with a plot.

Instead, nightmares.

-Lui's final scene with his mother

Lui tells himself, "This time, when I go back in time... I won't rely on Ukkomon for everything" (paraphrasing). He sees his mother inside his memory of his 4th birthday. He says to her, roughly, "Lui loves you, please remember that."

And magically, the mom is kind to him that night.

Now, to be fair, even disastrous relationships can have good times. Maybe it would have been just that night that was better. But there was this feeling of, "Oh, if I just talked to my mother when I was 4 years old and horrifically abused, it would have been different."

That just isn't how that works. If I had to guess, the film is just supporting communication. But god, don't ever point back to the child victim like that. Too bad that 4 year old doesn't know how to communicate with his abusive caregiver! Things might have been different!!!!!

I'm sensitive to this kind of thing, so it's totally possible I'm fixating too much on this or blowing up the importance of this moment. But yeah, not a good emotional reaction to that.

In summary: this was not the film I wanted. In fact, it's a film that will stick on me like a burr, but like. In a bad way? But also it did have some killer ideas. Ukkomon has to be one of the most interesting things to hit Adventure in years. So much power in the hands of an innocent, so disastrous so very fast.

My brain is still pudding. Time for some nightmares. Good night, I hope the film didn't distress you if you saw it! And my sympathies if you took your children, the biggest of oofs (how could you have known??? You couldn't have).

[lutiaslayton]

Professor Layton and the Eternal Diva

ＰＡＲＴ　１４

〚ＦＩＲＳＴ〛〚ＰＲＥＶ〛〚ＮＥＸＴ〛

Disclaimer: This is a fan-translation for the Japan-exclusive novellisation of the movie Professor Layton and the Eternal Diva. The original novel was written by Aya Matsui under the supervision of Akihiro Hino, and belongs to Level-5.

This translation only aims to be a pleasant read for non-Japanese fans, nothing more: I made a few deliberate changes while translating in order to get the writing style closer to what is usually found in English fanfictions, as the Japanese storytelling can sometimes be different than what we are used to.

＊ The Detragan

We ran through the black castle. The professor and Janice were leading the way without hesitation, and even though the castle was full of rooms and corridors, they seemed to know exactly where to go.

Eventually, a door came into view.

“There!”

The professor immediately opened it and dashed inside. Of course, we all jumped in after him.

There, we found Descole, his henchmen, and for some reason…

…Mr Whistler. What was he doing here?

He was trying to force a strange mechanical device over Amelia’s head.

“W-wait! I wanted to give eternal life to my grandpa! The doctors say he only has one month left to life… Isn’t eternal life a secret potion or something? We have to bring it to my grandpa…!”

“That is not acceptable.”

“Stop!”

Amelia was struggling in desperation.

The professor yelled: “This has to stop!”

By the time Mr Whistler looked at us in surprise, Emmy had already started attacking Descole’s henchmen. When Mr Whistler saw her next victim flying towards him, he screamed and cowered to the side.

Meanwhile, I ran up to Amelia, as she removed the device from her head.

“Mr Whistler, your intention was never to give ‘eternal life’ to the winner. What you are trying to do is tantamount to taking life, rather than giving eternal life!”

“What makes you think that?” Mr Whistler replied calmly.

“I finally reached it… the terrible truth behind this game.”

Yes! So he solved the mystery?

“What do you mean, Professor!?” I couldn’t help but shout.

The professor gazed at Mr Whistler and continued:

“A year ago, you spent a large amount of money in order to build a large-scale music performance device, the Detragan, despite… no, because of the fact that Melina’s death was approaching. And in order to achieve it, you obtained help… from the scientist there named Descole.”

At that last word, he sent a cold glare towards the man in question. To his strict eyes, Descole grinned with… a sullen smile.

“The Detragan is more than just an instrument. It is also a terrifying machine, capable of temporarily recording memories and copying them into other people’s brains.”

“What!?”

I turned my eyes to the Detragan in shock. So did Inspector Grosky, who muttered in shock:

“Copying… memories…?”

The professor continued, undisturbed.

“However, the Detragan’s copying process was imperfect. Even if the copy itself is successful, the original memories will gradually erode the copied ones over time… Nina told me about it.”

Right after this last sentence, the professor crouched down in front of her and smiled.

“Could you tell me again who you were with earlier?”

Nina nodded cheerfully. “It was Miss Melina!”

She… was with Melina!? What could that mean?

The professor started speaking again. He told us what had happened to Nina just a few minutes ago…

After getting Puzzle n°004 wrong on purpose, the professor had investigated the castle and eventually found the room in which Melina used to live.

It was a room with a balcony, giving a great view over the sea. There was a piano there, and a handwritten music sheet sitting on a music stand. The title read: ‘Song of the Sea.’

I gasped.

“The sea taught me.”

I remembered a song that I had heard on the beach.

Then Nina… no, a girl who was called ‘Melina’ at the time, appeared.

“I came here to see you, Melina.”

The girl had gotten angry at the professor for saying that.

“You… Stay out of my way!”

It was the melody of the ‘Song of the Sea,’ which the professor had started playing on the piano, that stopped her from running away. As she regained her composure, he had said:

“How long have you lived here?”

“I was… sick. My dad brought me to this island because he said the weather here was good for me. That’s why I feel so much better now…”

“Better…? I was told that you did not just get ‘better,’ but that you have been reborn with eternal life…?”

“Right… Reborn… I… was sick and died…!”

The girl’s face had contorted in pain as she held her head.

“I’m not dead, I’m fine! I was brought in… no, don’t say it! He’ll notice… Shh.”

The professor said that in this moment, it was as if two people were speaking. A young seven-year-old girl, and an adult woman who was present with her, and called herself Melina…

“Melina?”

“I’m not Melina! Yes, I am! No—I want to go home! Stop!”

“You are…”

The professor said that when he witnessed this girl in distress, the mystery had been solved in the blink of an eye.

The mystery of just what kind of horrific experiments the Detragan carried out.

The professor glared at Mr Whistler.

“After repeated failures, you desperately searched for a brain that could accept Melina’s memories perfectly. This is why you sent invitations to young, talented women like Miss Amelia…”

He then shifted his gaze to Descole.

“This game, and the intent of fooling everyone into believing that they were going to gain eternal life, was likely Descole’s idea. After all, Mr Whistler… You would have wanted instead to copy Melina’s memories as soon as possible.”

Descole smiled wryly.

“As expected of you, Layton. How long have you been aware of my presence?”

“I had a hunch early on, but it wasn’t until I saw this ghastly black castle that I became convinced. I knew right away who was pulling the strings behind the scenes, Descole.”

Descole responded to his accusations with a maniacal laughter that horrified me to the core.

At that moment, Mr Whistler pounced on me—!

“If that’s how it is, I don’t care anymore who it has to be!”

Before I had time to resist, the Detragan’s device was placed over my head. Mr Whistler had madness in his eyes, and was muttering to himself.

“I have to preserve Melina’s memories…”

Seriously!?

“No, s-stop…!”

I shouted as loud as I could, but he would not listen.

“I’m running out of time!”

A lever on the Detragan was pulled down.

I couldn’t take it anymore…! I wanted to scream, but I couldn’t find any words. Mr Whistler’s smile in front of me was too frightening.

…How many seconds had passed by now?

His smile disappeared and was replaced with a whimper.

“W… What!?”

I breathed and looked around. The lights on the Detragan were all switched off.

I had no idea what happened, but I was saved.

Mr Whistler rushed to the Detragan.

“The key…!”

After muttering this single word, he rushed to look for it everywhere, in a half-crazed state.

“Who took it? Who!? Layton, is that you!? Huh!?”

As he could not find any key, he grabbed the professor.

“We have to be quick… There is a time limit to the Detragan’s memory maintenance!”

The professor remained completely still. “Calm down, Mr Whistler. I know who sabotaged this device.”

Mr Whistler stopped moving. The one who ‘sabotaged this device,’ he said? I didn’t know who that was, but I thanked the culprit in my heart. I didn’t have to become the subject of a horrific experiment thanks to them.

“This person is also the key to explaining all the inexplicable events in this case,” the professor continued. “Events that go beyond any of your expectations…”

This was the moment I had been waiting for…! The professor would use this tone when he had solved all the mysteries and was about to denounce the culprit.

“Who? Who is it!?” Mr Whistler asked in confusion.

“Haven’t you figured it out yet? It was someone who concealed their identity, and wanted to stop your mistakes more than anyone else…”

I was shocked. “More than anyone else…?”

What did he mean by that?

“And this person… is you!”

And the culprit that the professor pointed to was…

…Janice!? No, impossible…

The professor’s voice changed to a much gentler tone.

“It is time to reveal everything, don’t you think Janice? Or rather… I should say Melina.”

He said this was Melina!?

Janice… No, Melina—she let out a small exhale. She then looked straight at Mr Whistler.

“That’s right. I am Melina.”

Mr Whistler staggered in shock.

“When I first realised that I was in my best friend’s body, I was shocked… but incredibly, Janice had allowed me to be there.”

So that was it! I was astonished at the mystery, and at how the professor had been able to solve it. So the Detragan experiment had been a success!

The experiment had even involved Janice, and Mr Whistler had tried to copy Melina’s memories into her mind… He apparently was unaware that he had succeeded.

“Janice stepped back into the back of her own consciousness, and let her body be at my disposal. I had been sick for such a long time, so it gave me so much joy to be able to move around freely in this body…”

　⇚　　　　　　　⇛

[lgcxmimi]

on JUNE 3, you are called to HYUNGCHEOL’s office for a quick meeting. as you enter the room, he’s busy shuffling through various files on his computer. he invites you to sit down with a friendly smile. “i know training is currently keeping you busy, so i wont be long.” he begins. “last trimester, you participated in LGC GIRLS JAPAN activities. as legacy wants to expand their activities in japan, we’ve managed to get a deal with a radio station for the company to get a WEEKLY radio show. we’ve put a lot of thought into which group or individuals should receive the opportunity and ultimately decided that we’d like the the show to be in a format where our various acts promoting in japan or those who can speak japanese can appear.” he explains. “which leads us to why you are here today. as a guest participant on LGC CHARMS JAPAN, we’d like to offer you the chance to be one of the REGULAR HOSTS of the variety show. would you be interested?”

CONGRATULATIONS! EMI has been selected as one of the potential hosts for LGC’S new RADIO SHOW in JAPAN. should she accept this offer, starting next trimester, she’ll have ONE trainee mission requirement to do and will be able to do a BONUS requirement for the radio show. make sure to advise the main of your decision for this opportunity before JUNE 15 !

for a moment, she can feel her heart skipping a beat as she takes the steps into hyuncheol’s office, trying to put her best foot forward. she’d like to think she had been trying her hardest– there was no reason to be alarmed right? but still, she sits, biting her lip a bit as she tries to not seem nervous. everything was fine– she knew it.

and it was, as hyungcheol greets her with a smile– the sign that yes, everything was fine. there’s a relaxation of her shoulders, a bow of her head of appreciation as she smiles his way, sitting down and curious to what he had to say.

the new she received has her mouth dropping– a rarely surprised em in full form as her eyes begin to sparkle. “ah, wow…” she voices, genuinely shocked at the offer that was before her. all this time, she thought she had, accidentally or not so, escaped the radar. the lgc girls japan had seemed like a blimp– one she rather enjoyed, but one nonetheless… now…

“ah, yes, i accept gladly, ill work extra hard for this, i promise!” she says, trying not to sound too excited, but she sounds breathless nonetheless– her cheeks hurt from grinning. “thank you for the offer.”

and it still doesn’t leave as she leaves the office, trying not to jump for joy. a radio show? something least expected, but hey– this was just part of being a future ace, right?

[yuriko-mukami]

His Possession Maniac 01

Squeezing her fork, Yuriko couldn’t help but stare as two of Ruki’s brothers, Kou, and Yuma, gathered their plates full of food as Azusa was only sitting at his place. The four brothers couldn’t have been more different. While Ruki was stern yet calm and collected, both Kou and Yuma seemed to be rather hot-headed. The tone they used as they tried to sort out who was allowed to take what kind of portion of the meal was anything but friendly, and Yuriko couldn’t help but wonder if she would have had the same kind of arguments with her brother if they had grown up together.

"Good grief, there is more than enough for everyone. Stop that immediately. Did you already forget that Yuriko is eating with us for the first time, Kou, Yuma? And Azusa, you should have your share too." Ruki’s voice was authoritative when it conquered the dining room where Yuriko was now sitting next to him for the first time, observing the vampires who were supposed to be her new family.

Azusa seemed to be the calmest one of the four, yet the most worrying one too. He had bandages wrapped around his neck and both wrists too which made Yuriko wonder what had happened to him. Were there bullies in their school? Had someone there hurt Azusa? That would have explained the young man's quiet nature too. It was something Yuriko could relate to, the loneliness Azusa radiated around him when others were getting louder and louder.

While visiting when Yuriko had been sick, Ruki had made sure she had stayed in his room most of the time, so she had only seen the other Mukami brothers briefly. And this morning she had missed both breakfast and lunch while sleeping in. But now…

This is the first family dinner for me since forever… They are so loud, but it is still rather cozy…

"Say, M-kitsune-chan, which of my songs do you like the most~?" Kou leaned in, staring Yuriko directly in the eyes.

"Umh…" Yuriko squirmed in her chair. That's right. Kou was an idol. Of course, Yuriko knew that; even she couldn’t have avoided hearing the whispers about him going around the school, and she had noticed how girls swarmed around him. But Yuriko had never paid too much attention to idols, so she truly didn't know any of Kou's songs. The fact was rather embarrassing now when she had to sit in front of him and chat with him like there was nothing uncommon at all. “I… umh…”

“Hah?! Who cares?” Yuma’s voice rumbled to Yuriko’s ears before she could answer Kou. “Vixen should know not to touch my sugarchan! That’s more important than her favorite songs!”

Sugarchan?

“Obviously Yuriko knows how to behave, Yuma. She is not going to take your sugar cubes without permission,” Ruki said. “Is that not right, Yuriko?”

“Eh? Yes… yes, I mean… no… Of course, I don’t do… such a thing…”

“Yuriko-san… you can come… to look at my… knife collection after the… dinner.” Azusa gave her his first smile since they had met.

Yuriko swallowed. Had she really used the word ‘cozy’ just a moment ago? Right now, ‘weird’ would have described the situation better. She shifted on her chair and tried to focus on eating the meal of meaty foreign dishes.

They ate mainly foreign dishes earlier too, right? I don’t think Ruki offered me Japanese food when I was sick… Even the porridge was a bit odd. Tasty but still…

While enjoying the sparkle of flavors on her tongue Yuriko couldn’t help but wonder where the vampire family originated from. It was so obvious that they were from abroad when she looked at them; while both Ruki and Azusa had dark features, their eyes gave them away, and both Kou and Yuma had naturally blond hair, even though Yuma’s was more light brown than actually blond. Then again, Yuriko didn’t look like a normal person either. So many times, had she heard about her fluffy white hair with sky-blue tips and caught odd glances. She could have been a foreign person herself… and in a way she truly was.

Now, I know the reason for that… but their origins remain a mystery. Maybe they are from the realm of Demons where my brother is detained too. Ruki might tell me one day if I’m able to gain his trust…

As Yuriko stayed silent the conversation at the table went on. She focused on eating, but her mind wandered. It was so difficult to believe she was here again, and this time she didn’t know if she would ever go back home. Was that even her home anymore? Her father didn’t truly want her there, she was only… Yuriko didn’t have a clue what she exactly was to him but not a daughter he would care about.

He wanted to use me for some kind of trade… Who would do that to their own child? Am I even his child? Why does he hate me so much? He has always been so distant, but I never understood why that was. I thought I had done something wrong but now…

“Oh no, Yuma-kun, now you have done it! Look at M-kitsune-chan’s face! She clearly fears you!”

“What the hell, Kou?!”

Yuriko flinched as Yuma’s voice cut through the air.

“See? She almost jumped~ Kind of funny though. I can make you jump even more if you like the thrill, M-kitsune-chan~ Surely you would have so much more fun with me than with Ruki-kun…”

“Kou.” Ruki sounded as stoic as ever. His steel-blue eyes were ice as they darted to his blond brother who looked like he was having the time of his life.

“What is it, Ruki-kun? You brought M-kitsune-chan here, so clearly, she is for our entertainment~”

“Yuriko is my livestock. She is mine and only mine.”

“Is that so? Judging by the scent of her blood you haven’t made her officially yours, Ruki-kun. Therefore —”

The legs of the chair screeched against the dining room floor as Ruki pushed his chair backward. Cold digits wrapped around Yuriko’s tiny wrist faster than she realized, and he dragged her up; her fork was left dancing on the edge of the plate as her fingers gave up their grip.

“I… umh… Ruki…?”

Yuriko stumbled after Ruki to the hallway and all the way to a room Yuriko hadn’t visited before. As the door slammed shut after them, she tried to peek around. It was a library with dark academy aesthetics. That much she could gather while Ruki dragged her into the middle of the room, still gripping her wrist. Icy shivers went through her body, but pain also started to numb her fingertips.

“Ruki… please… you hurt me…”

“Fuck!”

Ruki released his grasp. Yuriko pulled her hand back, pressing it against her chest. Her fingers throbbed as blood began to circulate appropriately again. She could already see how bruises formed on her fair skin; it was rather obvious that the next day she would have a new kind of bracelet around her wrist.

"Yuriko, I must apologize." After running his thumb over the bruised wrist, Ruki pushed Yuriko to sit on a surprisingly soft and bouncy couch. He lifted her hand as he sat down next to her and kissed the bruising skin before sliding his tongue over it. "I should not have lost it like that. Kou's words hit my nerve from time to time even though I know he is only joking. I hope you can forgive me, Yuriko. I know I do not deserve it but that is my simple wish."

Kou's words? Yuriko swallowed. She hadn’t understood the full meaning of those. Wasn’t she Ruki’s now? She had promised to belong to him and moved into this manor to live with him and his family.

"Umh… I forgive you. You didn't mean to hurt me, right?"

"I do not wish to hurt you," Ruki said, kissing Yuriko’s wrist one more time. His thumb brushed over the back of her hand, the touch being the opposite of the harsh grip that had clenched her wrists before. “Last night you told me that you would give yourself, your very being, in my hands, that you would be mine. And I will make you completely mine so that no one can ever take you away from me. You will belong to me, and only to me.”

A sigh left Ruki’s lips. “But I do not force anything on you. I will wait until you are ready to surrender to me completely. For now, it is enough that you will live with me here. Forgive my brothers for their rudeness. I will make sure that they do not say such things about you ever again, especially Kou.”

“Umh… it… It wasn’t that bad…” Yuriko lowered her gaze, shaking her head a little. Everything was so confusing, so overwhelming, yet she couldn’t deny the warmth spread through her body. At least one person in this world wanted her when everyone else seemed to leave her. “I don’t understand the full meaning of Kou-kun’s words… I guess…” Yuriko nibbled her bottom lip for a moment. “I mean… how I become yours. I… already promised that. Wasn’t that enough?”

Kou’s words had made it pretty clear that something was still missing but Yuriko needed clarification. As she pondered over the matter a cold finger brushed a lock of her hair behind her ear before gently grabbing her chin and lifting her head.

“Do not avert your gaze when you talk to your master.” Ruki’s voice was as stern as ever, yet there was a hint of softness in it. Yuriko lifted her gaze, meeting his icy… no, stormy eyes. “The words aren’t commitment enough, the physical union is needed, vampire’s climax with biting, and after then you truly are mine.”

“Umh… physical union? A climax with biting?”

As the words slipped past her lips, their meaning sank into Yuriko’s mind. Ruki was talking about that… The heated moment from the time Yuriko had earlier spent in this mansion, in Ruki’s bedroom, returned to her mind. The night of the full moon…

“Ah, Ruki… I… This… What are you doing…?” “Your master wants you to surrender yourself completely tonight.” “Umh…. Ruki… please… not like this… I will give myself… to you… but… You said that the full moon affects you. I need to know… that it isn’t only because of the moon…”

Yuriko blinked. Yes, that. The full surrender. She swallowed. Now that the moon was still waning Ruki talked so calmly, yet he wasn’t fully able to hide the storm in his eyes. So, it wasn’t because of the moon. He truly wanted her. Was it only to make her his? Or… was there more?

“You know what I am talking about, Yuriko, do you not?” Ruki whispered, leaning in, his voice caressing her eardrum. “I wish to touch every inch of this beautiful body of yours and make you shiver from pure pleasure while I take you to the world your imagination cannot cover. You will be moaning your master’s name until that is the only thing you can even think about.”

The heat rushed on Yuriko’s cheeks in seconds as Ruki’s words sailed into her ear. They alone were enough to make her quiver. The promise of unknown pleasures was intriguing, and if that was the way to make sure she would never be alone anymore, there was no reason to deny his wishes.

“Umh… I do know… and… I want to become yours. Completely.”

Yuriko’s voice trembled when she said the words, she knew would tie her fate. Yet there wasn’t even a shred of regret in her; the truth was she wished to ensure her place in Ruki’s life. She wanted to keep this one person and never let go. Ruki offered everything to her on a silver platter; she only needed to seal the deal. The price would be her blood, along with the other matter but somehow even that felt right. This was how things were supposed to be.

Ruki’s mouth touched Yuriko’s ear. “Prepare yourself, Yuriko, the night will be long, but I promise to take good care of you. I do not wish to hurt you, so I will only bite you gently. You do not need to worry. I will guide you step by step to the pleasure only I can give you, and you will love it.”

The kiss that brushed Yuriko’s chin was cold but sent flaring waves through her entire body lighting a flame deep within her. The lips followed her chin line while the cool tip of the nose stroked her cheek. Instinctively Yuriko turned her head, pressing her mouth against the closing one. She had enough time to gently suck Ruki’s bottom lip until she felt a smirk and his now wavering voice reached her ears.

“Hmm… so eager for your master’s kisses. How very bold of you, a punishment would be in place.”

Strong hands pushed Yuriko onto the couch while Ruki’s mouth conquered hers, the tongue forcing its way past her lips, not leaving even the tiniest corner unexplored. As the kiss melted her down to her core, Ruki’s body pressed against her, his fingers entangling her locks. He was so chilling against her, yet she couldn’t help the burning that washed over her as the soft tongue danced with hers, making it almost impossible to breathe.

A hand glided down Yuriko’s side, pushing its way under her unzipped hoodie and caressing her skin through the thin fabric of her top. She could feel the radiating ice, yet even that flared her more. The fingers weren’t in a hurry but moved down slowly, giving her time to get used to the sensation.

The rush from full moon night had vanished and was replaced with lingering pleasures. As Ruki broke the kiss, Yuriko gasped for air as if she hadn’t breathed in ages. Her head was light and hazy and soon was her view too, as Ruki pulled off her glasses, putting them on a nearby table. He brushed a lock of her away from her face right after, giving her a smile. Yet one corner of his mouth rose into a smirk that was enough to make Yuriko’s stomach flutter.

“Keep those beautiful eyes of yours on your master as I guide you in the world of pleasure~” Ruki’s words made Yuriko swallow, but she nodded, not trusting her voice at the moment. He moved down, his lips examining the skin of her neck.

The tip of Ruki’s nose brushed against Yuriko’s veins as he inhaled deeply. “Your scent is intoxicating.” His fangs scratched the skin slightly, making Yuriko tense from the tingling pain but instead of piercing her neck, Ruki licked over the scratch marks, fishing the tiny droplets of her blood just before sealing the tiny wounds his fangs had left. At the same time, a cold hand pushed up the hem of her skirt, traveling up her inner thigh. The fingers drew circles on the soft flesh, furthering their way toward the lace panties which – to Yuriko’s fright – were already glued to her skin because of the moist feeling Ruki’s every movement had forced out of her.

“Such a good girl, already wet for your master~”

Heat painted Yuriko’s face all over and she let out a tiny series of mumbles that didn’t make sense even in her own ears. Cold lips sucked her neck gently as the frosty fingers shoved the lace of her panties aside, slipping to the dewy depths. Yuriko whined from the sudden sensation, for the freezing digits sent flaring ice through her entire body.

“S-so… cold!”

“Do not fear my cool touch. I will make you burn in no time,” Ruki whispered against Yuriko’s neck, sucking skin once more. His tongue traced the column as if tasting it while a finger pressed against the tight entrance to the realms no one else had entered before. Ruki’s thumb found its way to the already throbbing pearl, once again a place no other fingers but Yuriko’s own had played around. He circled it without hurry yet managed to push a moan between her quivering lips. Her hips rose instinctively to meet the fondling feeling, and as they did, the finger at her entrance sank slightly in, making her whimper.

“Oh my gosh!” Yuriko’s legs tensed from the foreign touch. If only he would have touched her more this way, but there was no way she could ask for that.

“Good girl, let me hear more of your shameless voice~” The whisper vibrated on Yuriko’s skin as the thumb started to rub her pearl and the other finger dipped in again, gliding in without any trouble at all as the moist folds welcomed it. Her walls clenched around it, yet the sensation wasn’t unpleasant; it felt slightly odd but at the same time a tingling, pleasurable flaring started to bud deep inside her.

“Ruki…” Yuriko’s voice sounded odd in her own ears as her eyes locked with Ruki’s and his words vibrated through her. “Ruki… I… I…” It was so clear that he could feel how moist Yuriko was, damp and tight. It was hard even to breathe when his fingers brushed over her pearl and pushed past her inner boundaries like that. Her hips moved, and before she realized it, another tiny moan escaped her lips. The heat covered her all over, making her shudder. She averted her gaze but moved her hips again… and again. It didn’t ease the blaze in her; only made it worse. “I know I shouldn’t… I know it isn't decent… It’s not something good girls would… but I… I… umh… You make me… I have this feeling… I'm sorry… I know I'm not good… that I'm not worthy… I have no idea why… but you have awakened something in me, and I can’t deny it.”

There was something new in Ruki’s gaze as his eyes bored into Yuriko’s. “Stop talking nonsense. I do not want to hear words like 'you're not worth it' ever again. Don't think so much. Enjoy the moment. Accept the feelings. Don't doubt. Don't fear. Give yourself to me. I will make you feel so good.”

Don’t think? But –! Accept… the feelings? No doubt…? No fear…? It’s not that easy, this is all new for me!

The finger glided in again, the burning coldness numbing everything else around Yuriko. Ruki’s thumb caressed her pearl with slow movements as if testing how much she could take before asking for more.

“I will prepare you well so that you can take your master completely.” With a small slippery sound, another finger slipped in, stretching Yuriko’s walls. The sensation was like an intrusion into the parts of her that had been unreachable to anyone else. While doing so, Ruki leaned even closer, catching her lips with his. His tongue slithered into her mouth, taking it in the same manner as his digits conquered her secret places. It was easy to see how all this would claim Yuriko for his. Her eyes closed she surrendered to the deep smooch, trying to let go of her whirling thoughts. Her doubts and fears. Ruki would treat her well, right?

“Show this face only to me. No one else can see you like this. I am the only one who is allowed to admire this expression of yours.” Ruki breathed his words on Yuriko’s lips before tracing her chin line down to her neck. He inhaled, rubbing the tip of his nose along the already blemished skin. The fangs scratched Yuriko’s neck once more, breaking the surface and making her heated life elixir run out, yet Ruki fished each valuable drop, not letting any of it go to waste.

Ruki’s low groans shivered against Yuriko’s throat, telling the truth of how much he must be enjoying this too. As his thumb pressed her pearl more, her legs twitched from the mix of pain and pleasure, her thigh rubbing onto something hard and throbbing.

“That is right. You can feel what you are doing to me right now; I’m getting hard just because of you.”

So huge… probably… Oh gosh, I can’t… What if…?

Ruki licked over the new bite mark he had inflicted on Yuriko, while another finger sneaked into her damp depths, stretching her even more. A tingle vibrated through her lower body, taking over everything, all she could feel was Ruki and his fingers doing this magic; whatever she had done alone couldn’t compare to this. Every cell of hers was on fire as she was on the brink of sobbing. Her tiny fingers squeezed his shirt as her muscles tensed, her insides clasped, and her toes curled. She squirmed in Ruki’s grasp.

Ruki’s thumb danced over Yuriko’s nub at an increasing pace, the pressure growing with its slide. The movement created friction that made Yuriko quiver all over. This was so different… so embarrassing, and yet she yearned for more. The touch forced her hips to move slightly as she tried to ask what she wished without wording the shameless thing out. 

“Take responsibility for seducing your master like this. Make it up and cum for me. Give me your everything.”

“Ehh! Ruki!”

Not being able to control it at all, Yuriko felt how her walls squeezed Ruki’s fingers that kept penetrating her, moving in and out. The thumb slid on her nub over and over again, making it impossible to think. The reason was slipping from her as Ruki continued. Slowly she was getting used to his rhythm, to this new sensation, whimpering in his arms.

“Cum for me, Yuriko. Cum for your master. Be a good girl and scream my name.”

Words were disappearing from Yuriko, both her own and Ruki’s as her breathing grew heavier. She was melting, turning into something jelly-like and yet tense like she was gradually losing control over her body. Wet noises mingling with the low moans made even her ears burn, but she couldn’t keep in the quivering sounds that left her lips either as the pace of digits escalated.

“Oh my gosh! Oh… my… gosh! Ruki! I can’t… ahhhh! Ruki, please…! Don’t… Don’t… oh my… don’t… stop! I… GOSH!”

Half crying Yuriko whimpered as Ruki send her mind flying. The room disappeared around them, all she could feel was him. The air was full of wailing moans that escaped her mouth when Ruki’s fingers pushed her over the edge. She didn’t know if she screamed his name or not, but she clung to him like there was no tomorrow and a few moments after collapsed on the couch, panting and shivering. Still, her inner places kept clenching around the cold fingers until Ruki slowly pulled them out.

As Ruki lift his hand between them and licked his fingers, Yuriko’s face flared but she couldn’t help but stare as she smelled the fragrance of the moistness.

This scent… Oh my gosh is it… ME? Why am I smelli–

“Good girl, you did so well.”

“...umh…” Yuriko tried to gather her breath. Her mind was still filled with hazy clouds, her cheeks burning and her heart bouncing in her chest. Somehow, she was both tense and relaxed, still, there was this scorching feeling of how she shouldn’t behave like this. This indecently. Yet… Ruki… He had praised her; had told her she was a good girl.

“I want to make you completely mine. I don't want to share you with anyone else. I want you all to myself. I ask you one last time. Are you ready to give up everything and devote yourself to me? Do you really want me to make you mine?”

The words lingered in the otherwise silent library. A tiny gasp pushed past Yuriko’s lips as she nodded.

“I need you to say it. Loud and clear.”

“I… I… want you to… you to… make me… yours.”

“Such a good girl. Now let me so me the pleasure you have not even dreamt of.”

Gently, Ruki lifted Yuriko back into a sitting position and pushed the hoodie down her upper arms. She allowed him to move the piece of clothing and drop it onto the floor of the library. Next, he took the hem of her top and pulled that off. Gazing down, Yuriko saw how her breast rose and settled at the pace of heavy breathing, her hard nipples drawing against the lace.

Ruki’s index finger traced one of the buds through the fabric, making Yuriko gasp and pant as the strange sensation shot through her. Her breathing was turning heavy, her mind foggy, and strange tingling energy gathered deep within her.

“Relax and let me do this. I will make sure you enjoy every single moment.” Ruki leaned in, nibbling the hard bud as his hands traveled behind Yuriko’s back. Before she knew it, he had released the hooks of her bra. He pulled it down revealing the perky breasts with rosy, throbbing buds. With one hand he cupped one of them, caressing the tip with his thumb while kissing the other. Wet tongue teased the bud, and instinctively Yuriko reached for Ruki’s head, entwining her fingers with his hair, and pressing him closer to her chest as her back arched from the waves of pleasure his touch sent through her body.

Sucking the nipple and toying with another, Ruki pushed Yuriko onto her back. Soon, his hand traced along her sides, grabbing the waistband of her skirt. With one swift movement, the piece of clothing ended up on the floor. For a moment, Yuriko felt a sudden need to wrap her arms around her body, but the way Ruki laid his eyes on her shoved that thought away. The yearning in his eyes…

He wants me!

Ruki pulled off his own shirt, tossing it aside. His skin was a slightly darker shade than Yuriko’s yet still fair, his slender and wiry body was bliss to her eyes. Everything in him lured her in. Not that she had thought such things too many times or paid too much attention to anyone’s looks, but she honestly thought that the inside mattered more. It was so odd to feel this… interested… this fascinated by Ruki’s looks yet Yuriko couldn’t avert her gaze.

“You may touch me.” Ruki’s voice was hoarse as he whispered. “But you are not allowed to lay your fingers on my back. Is that clear?”

As Yuriko nodded, Ruki crawled back to her. Fingers trembling, she let them travel on his cold chest. They were so different, almost like the opposites to each other, but still, Yuriko felt like they were similar too; tangled with one another before they had truly known it. She wished to cherish every part of this young man over her.

Ruki leaned in, capturing Yuriko’s lips once more and almost stealing her breath away with the deepness of his kiss while his hand explored and caressed every accessible inch of her body. Gradually, Ruki made his way down Yuriko’s chin, neck, and upper body, letting his tongue glide over her soft skin. As his lips reached her sensitive mounds she arched her back, unable to hide cries of bliss that bubbled out between her lips. Cold yet gentle hands ran along her sides when Ruki took his time pampering her buds. For a brief moment, he let go of her, only to take off her panties. Stormy blue eyes caught teal ones as deft fingers exposed the most sensitive spot of the already whimpering young woman. When the panties landed on the floor Ruki took this opportunity to leave a trail of kisses on her thigh. When he reached the inside, he inhaled deeply, making Yuriko wonder if he could smell the same as her.

The scent of pure lust. That was the only term Yuriko could form in her hazy mind. Her breathing turned heavier, almost into a panting, and her heart kept bouncing.

"I know you are nervous. But try to calm down a little." But the whisper was in vain as Ruki pressed his hips against Yuriko’s, letting her feel how hard he already was.

This time Yuriko knew she would soon feel much more of that solid shaft that turned her insides into a wet swamp. Her face flared but before she had even realized it, she had already lifted her hips a little to meet Ruki’s.

Yuriko shuddered, shaking inside. Her muscles were tense but at the moment she felt like there was no tomorrow, there was nothing. Nothing but this young man holding her and making her feel more alive than ever. The sensation was overwhelming, pushing her somewhere she had never gone before but her body reacted to every gentle touch, opening for him and for him only. She spread her legs a little more, raising her hips to meet his again.

“Umh… I… you… please…” Closing her eyes, Yuriko squirmed as whining series of moans left her. Mustering words out was too much as hazy clouds covered her mind. Her back arched, and she grabbed Ruki’s shoulders, digging her fingertips into his skin as if asking for more. “Please, please, please… I… umh… Ruki… please… all… of you…”

"That's right. Beg your master. That's exactly what I wanted to hear. Good girl~" Ruki kissed Yuriko with icy lips that eased the burning on hers.

He is using those words again: master and a good girl. That must mean… This is how I’m expected to behave, this is what makes him care for me even more…

Ruki reached in between them, and as Yuriko peeked, she could see him unzipping his pants which soon flew on the floor along with the tightly fitting boxers, releasing Ruki’s… manhood in front of her eyes.

“Wait for a moment, will you?” Ruki reached for his pants, pulling something out of his pocket. “Soon, I’ll give you what you yearn for.”

Yuriko blinked as she saw the tiny package; she hadn’t thought about this at all! A tiny voice in the back of her head reminded her that she should have said something about this matter but even now the words were sliding from her, leaving her mouth slightly hanging open without a voice as her focus was high speeding to something else than to the choice of protection.

So huge…

Yuriko swallowed as she stared at how Ruki rolled the condom on his hardness. Would that truly fit inside her? It was impossible to imagine, yet she didn’t want to back down. She couldn’t quite explain it but there was this flaring in her, a craving she had never felt before like Ruki was all she needed at the moment.

The rubber grind over Yuriko's belly as Ruki lay over her, placing his forearms beside her head. His kiss was gentle but even that couldn’t fully shove away tenseness from her, yet his smile melted her heart. Never had a man given her such a tender smile so full of warmth, even the ice had disappeared from his eyes which were clouded. The look in his eyes described the fluttering sensation deep down in Yuriko too. Maybe that feeling… that sweltering lust was glimmering in her eyes too.

“Don't be afraid. Relax and enjoy our union.” Ruki breathed on Yuriko’s lips as he spread her legs further apart. “I'm very careful and as gentle as I can. You can always tell me to stop. If it gets too much for you, I'll pull out right away.”

“I… try my… best…” Yuriko’s voice was nothing more than a quavering whisper mostly muffled by Ruki’s next soft kiss that caressed her lips. She could already feel how her insides squeezed, tensing all over. How was it even possible to relax in a moment like this? Ruki’s fingers brushed Yuriko’s hair while his other hand slid between them as he helped himself to close her throbbing heat. The touch of his tip made Yuriko stiffen even more than she had believed to be possible.

“Become mine…”

Become his? Yes… that’s all I want. To be his, to belong to him… But the thought wasn’t enough to unwind the tension in Yuriko as Ruki slowly pushed his hard member deep in her moistness, stretching her in a way his fingers couldn’t have matched. Her walls clenched around him as if trying to deny this foreign intrusion, and a sharp pain pierced her lower body. Just briefly but noticeable enough to make her gasp and whine. Yet inch by inch Ruki pushed past her boundaries, conquering the realms no one had entered before him.

"I will shape you so that no other man will ever be able to satisfy you." At the same moment, as Ruki stopped, his remark rumbled in Yuriko’s ears.

Shape me? How…? Yuriko opened her mouth, but nothing came out; there was an emptiness in her mind as she tried to comprehend. Ruki buried his face in her chest muttering something that didn’t quite reach her. When he lifted his face again, the apology lingered between them both in his eyes and on his lips. But once again, before Yuriko had a chance to form a proper sentence, Ruki’s mouth was on hers, pulling her into a tender and soft smooch, the polar opposite of his earlier sayings.

“Are you alright? Everything okay?” Ruki’s lips moved on Yuriko’s neck along with his questions, trembling like he would have difficulties keeping calm.

“I… I’m okay…”

It doesn’t hurt anymore, at least for now when he isn’t moving. He feels so enormous… I don’t know what to think… Like… am I his now? Just like that because he is… in me like this? But he said he has to… he has to climax, right? And then bite me?

A sigh left Yuriko’s lips as Ruki showered her neck with kisses that pushed away her whirling thoughts. She closed her eyes and let herself drown in the sensation that tingled through her. This warmth and softness were something she would never get bored of, something she would always yearn for… If making love was like this, she would surrender completely to Ruki’s care. She opened her eyes slowly, meeting his clouded gaze.

“You’re doing so well, I’m proud of you. When you're ready, say so. Only then will I go ahead and start moving slowly.”

He is proud of me…? It just feels so strange, like there is something extra in me! Oh gosh, it is exactly like that… but it’s Ruki! Part of him is in me… we have become one in this way. Yuriko blinked as the flow of thoughts filled her mind again, but not even that could suppress the sensation that slowly took over her body. “Umh… it’s… it’s okay to move… now.”

“If it becomes too much for you, I'll stop immediately. You just have to say it then..." Ruki slowly withdrew his hardness a little bit, growling against Yuriko's neck. As he slowly pushed into her again, Yuriko was sure her insides would crush him.

“Fuck…” A soft moan slipped out between Ruki’s lips. “Nng! You feel so good…” Gripping Yuriko’s shoulders tightly, blue-gray eyes bored deep into Yuriko's. Once again, Ruki pulled back a bit, only to be immersed in her once more.

Eyes locked with Ruki’s; Yuriko could barely breathe. Ruki withdrew a bit and then pushed his hardness slowly back in, stretching her walls all over again. A long quivering moan left her lips unintentionally, washing her cheeks with even more intense heat. Never she had thought she could make such a noise.

“Oh my gosh!”

But Yuriko wasn’t the only one. Ruki’s soft sounds reached her ears, forcing even them to burn. His voice gave jolts to her stomach, turned the fire in her into a fiercer pyre, and made her heat clasp his length even tighter.

After more careful movements, Ruki found a steady rhythm. He caught Yuriko's lips. A gentle smooch quickly turned into pure passion. Again and again, Ruki poked carefully, yet deeply into the innocence that now belonged to him. While his grasp of her was harsh, Yuriko felt safe when he held her shoulders and moved steadily in and out. There was no escape now, no way to back down as she sank into this new sensation that tingled all over her. It wasn’t only his tender thrusts; it was something more as if a new world had been opened and she was filled not only by his stiff member but with energy that radiated between them. Any book she had read had never talked about anything like this, but it felt like Ruki had surrendered his very soul as he was making her his possession.

Like our… very inner beings are… entwining. Is this…? This must be… how it should feel like… I’ve never felt this good in my entire life…

A dominant tongue explored Yuriko’s cave as Ruki imprisoned her in a deep smooch. The kiss pulled Yuriko deeper into the whirlpool of feelings and stunning sensations. While her body started slowly to adjust to Ruki’s movements, her mind was filled with cloudy, tickling lust that made everything else fade. Right now, there wasn’t anything or anyone else than Ruki in her world. Instinctively she wrapped her legs around his waist as if holding him ever closer, her hips rose to meet his and she moaned into the passioned, all-consuming kiss, gasping for air whenever possible. Her tiny fingers grabbed his shoulders, squeezing his skin with every shove of his member. It was as if their bodies had truly become one, moving together toward… Yuriko didn’t know what, but she drowned in blue-gray stormy eyes and took in everything. The physical pleasure made her toes curl but the other thing… the one she couldn’t name consumed her mind, painting small stars into her field of vision, fulfilling her mind with a different kind of ecstasy.

Letting Yuriko catch her breath, Ruki covered her neck and shoulders with damp kisses without interrupting the dance of his hips. As his fangs suddenly penetrated deep into Yuriko’s shoulder, making her whine loudly as the pain covered the ecstasy pushing it aside. She whimpered and squirmed, not being able to tell where the pain started, and pleasure ended or the other way around. As Ruki pulled his teeth out and licked the wound Yuriko’s mind was nothing but a hazy mess of sensations. She heard Ruki saying something, but the words didn’t reach her anymore.

“I… I… I belong… uhhmm… to you… now… right?” Not sure if the question had truly come out of her mouth, Yuriko whined again as Ruki’s pace kept increasing. She didn’t have control over her body that moved along with his, her legs pressing his butt slightly as her hips raised at an unsteady pace as if she couldn’t get enough of his hardness. The cold lips danced on her skin, taking her mind away, the tingling ecstasy returning and taking over her once more, the burst of intoxicating energy she had never felt before until Ruki had taken her into this world of pure love and lust.

“Forgive me. Not just yet, but soon. Soon you’ll be mine.” The words lingered in the air as Ruki increased his pace. A little faster and harder now his manhood thrust into Yuriko's heat. He caressed every inch he could reach with his cold lips while, growling and moaning, he kept bouncing in and out. “I can't hold it back any longer... Yuriko... I... Haah...haah…”

Yuriko’s mind refused to comprehend Ruki’s words. Her fingernails dig into his nape as his pace fastened and hardened still. She was beyond the edge of understanding, moaning, almost crying as she was filled by him. Completely and so perfectly that nothing could ever compare to that. It was like she had become drunk from him, wanting more and more, evermore of this devouring desire.

“Ahhm… Ruki… Ruki… oh my… Ruki… gosh… I don’t… this… Oh my gosh!” Yuriko clenched around Ruki’s length faster than before, her whole body arching, mind flying toward the peak of unknown spiritual bliss as if he had made love with her mentally with the same intensity as physically. She screamed his name as he snuggled up to her, panting. His grip was tight. The vampire's hips circled as if he had lost control over his movements and again, he shoved his shaft a little harder and faster into her depths.

“Fuck! Yuriko! Haah...haah... Cum for me. Please...!” Uncontrollably, Ruki's hips swayed and made the couch shake under them. His shaking vibrated into Yuriko’s muscles, squeezing trembles from her as if they had become one entity instead of separate ones.

Only moans mixed with sobs came out from Yuriko’s mouth in response to Ruki’s demand.

“Fuck... I can't…” Groaning loudly, Ruki squeezed his eyes shut, burying his face against Yuriko’s neck. The young man shook all over. He stiffened over her, and in that very same moment, he sank his fangs into the tender flesh, breaking the skin and drawing blood. The pain was sharp but still numbed by the enjoyment of their union, for now, it was truly happening. While whining from soreness, Yuriko felt the pulsation against her now sensitive walls that still clench from the new sensation.

Gradually, Ruki relaxed again. He covered Yuriko's neck with featherlight, tiny kisses, making sure he sealed the wound he had just inflicted.

Yuriko knew that something had shifted forever and there was no way to go back now. She had become a different… being? And that had nothing to do with the mysteries of her heritage. It had everything to do with Ruki and his wild demonstration of lust that tingled on her skin and formed an ache deep within her. The aching she wished to cherish was a sign of her transformation and devotion to the vampire she had fallen for.

I’m his. It has truly happened, and it means I won’t be alone ever again. He is going to keep me now. It’s perfect. A sigh danced on Yuriko’s lips. She licked them and just then Ruki’s lips made their way to hers, and he met her gaze.

“You belong to me now. Without a doubt. You are mine.”

The kiss was the definitive seal for the deal. Yuriko had truly given her everything to Ruki. Her blood, her body, her innocence… and like this drowned once more in that feeling she had denied from herself. But it was too late to turn back anymore.

I still am not sure if he has this same feeling, if he wants more than blood… and sex… but I… This… It’s that forbidden feeling… I cannot escape. He either drags me back to that deep hell I once visited or lifts me to the other way… Please, let it be the other way…

Beta read by @ruki-mukami-dl

[dionysia-does-stories]

She's An Actress But She Ain't Got No Need

Cringetober 2023, Day 15: Song Lyrics

On AO3

Rating T - 953 words - Skip Beat! - Heel Siblings - Red/Kyoko

Summary: Setsu and Cain Heel have to return to Japan for an award press tour for Tragic Marker and can't even get through the strategy meeting without getting into a fight with Murasame. Song Fic to "Don't Trust Me" by 3OH!3.

Story:

Black dress with the tights underneath

I got the breath of the last cigarette on my teeth

And she's an actress (actress)

But she ain't got no need

Setsuka Heel leaned back in her chair, bored. The director was yammering on and on about the upcoming press junket. Setsu and her brother had been forced to come back to Japan by the production. 

Tragic Marker had been a run away success. (Setsu wasn’t surprised by this. Her brother was in it and everything he did was amazing.) But the Japanese cast were all fussing and celebrating.

Cain was going to have to go to so many talk shows with these annoying people. Setsu had promised to go to all of them with him. She would sit backstage and watch as the brittle, pretty hosts pawed at him. 

Cain had become a sensation. His BJ was frightening beyond measure, but also all the young (and not so young) woman of Japan had fallen in love with him. They wanted to be terrorized by him. Just like that empty headed Manaka.

But Cain was Setsuka’s alone to terrorize and be terrorized by. All of Japan could keep their paws to themselves.

As if sensing her thoughts, her brother placed a hand on her knee. Electricity zinged through her body. Kyoko’s spirit broke through the act for a moment. She lost Setsu and was now just her regular self with her boyfriend’s hand on her. In public. With nothing but ripped tights between their skin. She forced her body to hold Setsu’s posture until she could regain her character.

Setsu shot Cain a look that she knew would be enjoyable to the point of pain. Let his fantasies run away with him. He was the one touching her in public.

She's got money from her parents in a trust fund back east

T-t-t-tongues always pressed to your cheeks

While my tongue is on the inside of some other girls teeth

Setsu’s phone rang. Her ringtone was a metal band at full volume. The entire meeting ground to a halt as Setsu slowly pulled her phone from her purse. A dozen eyes glared angrily at her. They had all been asked that morning to silence their phones.

Setsu obviously hadn’t bothered turning off her ringer. Her calls were important. Hamsters like Manaka could silence their phones.

Setsu checked the caller ID, recognizing the number. She stood up to leave the room. 

Cain grabbed her forearm. “Where are you going?” Setsu could read between the lines. What he was really asking is ‘How could you leave me?’ and “There should be no one in the world as important to you as me.”

Setsu’s smile was indulgent in the face of his possessiveness. “It’s Mum,” she told him.

“Oh.” He let her go. “Tell Mum hi for me.”

Setsu nodded and went outside. The cast watched her go like they were a freak show. Every so often they said or did something that reminded them that they were ‘dangerous siblings’ and not regular lovers.

Setsu loved to shock them. Kyoko kind of loved it too. Kyoko loved the power of her acting.

T-tell your boyfriend if he says he's got beef

That I'm a vegetarian and I ain't fucking scared of him

“What the hell is wrong with you two,” Murasame demanded as soon as Setsu was out of the room.

Cain didn’t even look away from the door.

“Why is she even here,” Murasame continued. “She’s not really your manager. You’re keeping her like some kind of pet. Your good little P—“

Cain swung around to look at him. His glare communicating the rage in every muscle of his body. Daring him to keep talking.

Murasame knew he should just shut up, but he couldn’t. It wasn’t fair that Heel got someone like that. Someone who he shouldn’t be allowed to have. It was indecent. 

Murasame threw the gauntlet down, “She’d be better off with a different owner.”

Cain flipped the conference table on top of him.

She wants to touch me (whoa)

She wants to love me (whoa)

She'll never leave me (whoa, whoa, oh, oh)

Setsu heard the commotion from the hall.

“What’s that?” asked Julie.

Julie could hear Setsu’s eye roll in the tone of her voice. “There’s this complete idiot on the cast of Tragic Marker that Cain keeps fighting with.”

“Is it all okay? He isn’t struggling with—“

“Not anymore,” Setsu cut in. Kyoko screamed in the back of her mind that Setsu was disrespecting their honored mother by talking over her, but Setsu was firmly behind the wheel. “They used to, but my wonderful brother was able to work through it. These days, they mostly fight about me. The idiot is very insistent.”

“Well, tell Cain ‘Mum’ says to not let boys disrespect her beautiful talented daughter.” Julie wasn’t as onboard with the Heel sibling charade as Lory. But she did love that she got to be both of Setsu and Cain’s one and only mother. “And I’ll message you pictures of the dresses.”

“Thank you, Mum,” Setsu paused for a moment, thinking. “I love you.”

Julie’s voice was brimming with warmth when she replied, “I love you too, daughter-of-mine.”

Setsu hung up and went back into the conference room. She carried a sense of familiar contentment in her heart. It only amplified when she saw Cain standing on a table that he was using to crush Murasame.

“Mum says you should beat him up,” Setsu said. She was paraphrasing but still.

The other members of the cast glanced at each other. What kind of mother tells her child to get into a physical fight? The whole family was strange and dangerous.

[belit0]

what if... demon! Indra....?

What if Demon! Uchiha clan but make Indra the lider...🤗💫❣️

THIS WAS SO FUN and I might make a part 2 without anyone asking for it cause... WHO CAN SAY NO TO DEMON INDRA?!

Of course, if you like it, let me know! And if anyone has any suggestions, feel free to send a request or DM!

TW: none (THERE IS NO NON-CON, but there's a moment that can be a little tense) Pairing: Otsutsuki Indra / reader NSFWish

2 AM goes by on the clock, and (Y/N) knows that an eternal night is coming. Working full time and studying simultaneously is crazy in itself, how is a normal person supposed to add to that the social part as well?  Insane.

She must finish this paper by tomorrow, otherwise, she will have no material to present to her professor and will be completely exposed in class. There is no need to add public humiliation to her list of tortures, staying up all night is enough.

The problem is, her assignment is still in the same sentence where she left off thirty minutes ago, and the inspiration is not coming to her. How can she move forward with the task if she doesn't even know what phrase she should develop next?

The second cup of coffee has been finished, and it is no longer having the same effect as the first. At 6 AM her alarm will go off, and she will have to get up and leave for work. Two important meetings await her, and the presentation of her monthly project in front of her bosses.

It can't get any worse, can it?

Completely frustrated, she leaves her workstation to head to the kitchen, where she pours herself a third cup of her hot drink. Leaning against the counter, she rubs her eyes trying to shake off the sleep, but nothing seems to help. Her body begs for sleep and is doing everything it can to put her to it against her will.

Eventually, she decides to sit down on the couch, where she begins to slide through TikTok in an attempt to relax her mind a little. Her whole algorithm seems to be about tarot and witchcraft, spells and manifestation, working with higher entities and gods to get what one wants.

Maybe life is trying to tell her something.

One particular video appears, a girl talking about a special group of demons that one can work with to achieve one's goals. She provides a number of unique names, and refers to the group as the "Uchiha".

One in question becomes trapped in her mind and is the one she thinks about as her eyes close and her body wins the battle of sleep.

"Indra... has a nice tone..."

Before she knows it, she is already dreaming. But the atmosphere is not what you would expect in an ordinary dream, not a series of meaningless events and familiar people.

(Y/N) is lying on a bed, wide awake, bound hand and foot, with each leg spread towards each bottom corner of the bed. No clothing worn when falling asleep is on her, and there is a man in the room, wearing only a loose-fitting Japanese-style dressing gown.

He is holding a board with papers on it and seems engrossed in reading its contents. His hair is extra-long, of a beautiful brown color, and his red eyes seem oblivious to (Y/N)'s presence completely exposed in front of him.

A little shocked sound escapes her lips, as her gaze scans the entire place. It seems to consist of only a bed, the rest of the room is either pitch black or covered in darkness.

It's just the two of them.

"Finally awake, I see."

The man speaks, but his voice seems to sound much further away than where he is standing. He abandons the clipboard at the foot of the bed and climbs onto the mattress. With a predatory aura, he crawls over to come face to face with (Y/N), who is lying there in a state of stupefaction.

"What... what is this! Where am I!"

"You are wherever I want you to be. That's what you want, isn't it?"

"What the fuck do you mean! Who the hell are you?!"

"Hell is just my abode, yet I wished after summoning me, you'd know who I am."

Y/N's mind is racing a mile a minute, trying to process those words that deep voice spoke. He seems to sound so far away and so close at the same time, while the image is both meaningless and overflowing with sense all at once.

It all feels like a fever dream, completely real as well.

"I didn't summon anyone... I didn't ask for anything! Let me go!"

"Oh, but you did. You called my name just before passing out from exhaustion, dragging me here. Your mind was quick to provide me with all your fantasies, and your body seems ready to receive them."

"This has got to be a nightmare… It has to be! Tonight, of all nights!"

As (Y/N) tries to rouse herself from what she believes to be her dream, the man sighs with irritation, getting off the bed to pick up the board with papers he had discarded earlier.

"Look here, please."

She opens her eyes, concentrating on the list the man shows her. It contains all of her deepest fantasies listed, in lavish detail of execution and form, the filthiest thing she's ever read in her life.

"Who are you?"

"You don't really know who I am, don't you..."

"Just answer the goddamn question already, please!"

"If you ask so nicely... Indra, king of the demons from the last circle of hell, ready to serve you."

At those words, (Y/N) loses consciousness, falling completely asleep on the bed.

[hxneylavendxr]

so. how about that i7 episode huh. *collapses on the floor*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11dies

SO THE FIRST PART LET'S START THERE (im going to scream and cry about the whole episode right now so cut)

kaoru anesagi i fucking love you with all my heart she deserves so so much for giving nothing but her all and working her fucking ass off for these boys her crying alone is enough to break my heart and the way not a SINGLE ONE OF HER FUCKING TEARS IS JOYFUL. IT'S ALL BECAUSE HER BOYS HAVE LOST IT ALL!!!!! SHE CAN ONLY FEEL GRIEF RIGHT NOW ARGHH STARTS BITING

and then the trigger live in the rain... the way it goes through all our idols stopping what they're doing to watch the broadcast on their phone is heartwarming and Well, you know me, always very excited when we get a live performance in this anime and i looooooove love secret night, i have the choreography bits from their anime debut with it memorized so, to the girls who were mouthing the words during the performance, me fucking too i was doing the dance and singing along even for the whole segment with yamamitsunagi (of course except for the brief moment where i had to go "Don't even say that right now dude. don't even go there There is no sakura haruki that bitch is dead and gone i swear don't even with me right now")

.....which leads us to TENN FUCKING CRYING ON STAGE AFTER THE SONG..........AAAUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHFUCKKKKKKKK DUUUDE an d and riku monologuing about it this is such deep ass shit for an idol show it's ridiculous Tenn Kujo is a strange strange little guy and i want to punch him for it and cradle himin my arms because everything is okay but also he needs to get his shit together but also life isnt fair to him but but :((((

(plus those girls who ran all the way from fuck knows where to get to trigger in the rain oouughhh my heart these in universe fans are so wonderful and passionate it's so relieving whenever they show their undying support)

so im reeling over that right. only half way through. and i play the idolish7 video game so i have a vague memory of the plot outline, right? we get to the scene where iori is rewinding clips of riku and i pause to hold my face. LET MEOUT WE CAN'T DO THIS NOT HERE NOT NOW I DONT WANT TO WATCH THIS ANYMORE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NO this meta arc is so incredible and interesting from a writer's point of view and from an anime consumer point of view even but for Fucking Sake dude they are IDOLS just HAPPY LITTLE POSITIVE IDOLS CAN YOU LEAVE ME ALONE AND MAYBE SAVE THIS TOPIC FOR LIKE..A REGULAR SHONEN JUMP OR SOME SHIT come on (the way iori is the only one who didnt watch the trigger live because he was too busy being weird and breaking my heart. whatever)

then that WHOLE ASS SCENE where the environmental symbolism ISNT SUBTLE AT ALLL with riku sitting in the dark half of the room while iori is in the light AND I DONT EVEN NEED TO SAY IT DO I. HEARTBREAKING, VOMMITING MY GUTS OUT, MAD AT IORI, MAD AT THE WRITERS, MAD AT THE WORLD

the way he full on WHISPERED with ALL THE DESPERATION OF THE EARTH AND HEAVEN AND HELL IN HIS VOICE didn't i promise to make you a superstar? don't go anywhere without me

if i7 was just a smidge more popular iori nation would be fighting for their fucking lives on twitter right now. im telling you i can see it and im getting a headache imagining it

and then we went there again with the live! i love perfection gimmick :)! i have every bit of choreography they gave us memorized from the iori center arc (normal well adjusted behavior) and the lyrics are particularly easy to sing for japanese learning beginners! so when i tell you i started kicking and punching the air when riku didn't do his fucking part with me. and then he goes and starts CRYING. I AM SICK I AM SOOOO SO SICK

and iori's. speech his revelational speech to tsumu. i was screaming and eating my entire fist i was really trying to get as much of my hand into my mouth as i possibly could that was the most painful thing to listen to i think we all need to never watch an episode of idolish7 again and we will all be okay. im not even going to get into picking apart his points and why i feel so strongly about them being brought to light we'd be here for 6 more hours But but the way he DOUBLES DOWN when tsumu tries to take him off of it and just like i mean like iori, girl, so true, so insightful, but this road will only lead us straight into hell. Please

i dont want to give stupid ass kujo whom i punch through my screen (physically, for real i start hitting my screen when he shows up on instinct) the time of day but when he says that tenn is just doing what riku does... sapping empathy out of the fans to regain trigger's bearings.........fuuuuuuuck let me ooooout

and of course. finishing off the shitshow with the zool ed that fucks severely. by that point all of the life has been drained from my body but i must dance because it still goes hard. a lovely way to end evey mental breakdown this forsaken show bestows upon me

[nyas weakly and collapses onto the floor with you]

[silver-blooded-synthetics]

Continued from here with @interestellar-butterfly

Well, this for sure was a first time! Gia bit her lips until there was nothing left on her face but a thin line. She was extremely confused. Was he? was he? rejecting her?. Alma, Alma had just rejected her. A boy. Oh whatever. She raised her eyebrows and exhaled when he left her standing on the balcony, next to the telescope. Alone. Finally the girl scratched an eyebrow and clicked her tongue, tapped a couple of times on the telescope and decided to sit where she was before all this happened, but this time she didn’t raise her legs in the comfortable way she had raised them when she arrived. She simply sat there and began to rummage in her bag, she was looking for two things, well, initially three, first a cigarette, she squeezed the box between her hand and was about to take one out, but she didn’t know if it was appropriate, right now she didn’t even know if breathing was appropriate in Alma’s room, so she left the cigarette box. Then she continued looking for the second thing, a pack of strawberry gum, popping two of those in her mouth she started chewing to relax, and lastly, her cell phone, yes, swimming in the social media full of her friends and exes pretending to live amazing lives was just what she needed right now. She exhaled again, parting her lips and to her surprise she mentally cursed herself in Japanese, something that rarely happened. The girl began mindlessly scrolling through all of her socials, while ignoring the constant texts from her sister and a couple of friends who were alarmed by her unread messages. Well she wasn’t going to worry about Alma disappearing, he rejected her and while it didn’t hurt her because why the hell? why would it hurt, right? It wasn’t like she had any doubts about if he was attracted to her or anything. But her ego. Her ego right now was at the lowest level it had ever been. “Whatever…” she muttered under her breath as her eyes remained fixed on her cell phone while popping gum balloons in her mouth.

After just breathing for a moment, Alma finally worked up the nerve to return to Gia. With a blanket in hand, he walked back out onto the balcony and saw her sitting there popping bubblegum in her mouth and scrolling on her phone. She seemed upset...

"Um... sorry about that. I was just a little... overwhelmed," Alma said, sitting down next to Gia. He draped the blanket over her legs and looked at her tentatively.

"The truth is, I'm not used to anyone being so forward with me. It kind of surprised me... Took me off guard," he admitted. "I shouldn't have left like that, it was rude of me. I hope you can forgive me."

He looked at her and gave a hopeful, if a bit shaky, smile. "I hope you didn't think I was rejecting you. Because the truth is... I would like to kiss you. I just need a little time to prepare myself.

"Maybe we could go on a proper date next week?" he suggested. "I could take you out to dinner, and then to the planetarium at my university. They've got an observatory with a much bigger telescope there where we could see the stars even clearer, and- and maybe... maybe then we could... kiss...?"

He hated how insecure he sounded asking that, but he was afraid she would turn him down after he'd been such a coward. She had every right to. He hoped she wouldn't though. Alma really did like Gia a lot. "I'm sorry I'm so shy," he said out loud, wishing that he was more confident.

[tealenko]

The Three Letters (Chapter 6)

Chapter 6: A Journey to the Past

This got more experimental than usual… Upsss?? I even had to divide the chapter in two because it was already too long XDDD So this is now a 15 chapters fic (for now lol). Don't worry, I'll finish it no matter how many chapters I add (it will take me a while because I have a life and that kind of stuff ehehehehe but I'll finish it, don't worry about it.)

So yeah… Jacob centered chapter (that's another reason this took so long to write… English is not my first language, and changing my writing to fit his speech is really challenging for me. It gives me room to be creative though, which is always a win).

Anyways~ Hope you enjoy it!!

Oh, almost forgot XD The canon dialogue is in bold and the inner thoughts in italic

Summary: Jacob gets absorbed by his own memory and, while Lara tells everyone how she managed to acquire the Atlas, his mind travels back in time to relive everything he felt while he stayed behind.

Words: 3268

Rating: Teens and Up All Chapters -> [link] Read in AO3 -> [link]

I suggest you read this one in my AO3, here I can't show the real format of the chapter.

----------------------------------

Just as Sofia predicted, once the whole dining and music is over, everyone reunites and sits forming a circle in the area they were dancing less than an hour ago, and, of course, Lara quickly becomes the center of attention.

The two girls sit together after Sofia secures a seat in the best lit area. Her father, to her surprise, doesn't follow them, and instead decides to sit right behind the opposite part of the circle, resting his weight onto the fence of the closest cabin, sitting alone in the dark where only Lara, who stands up to share her stories, has a clear view of him.

Jacob doesn’t know how to feel about the whole deal. Part of him is really curious about her past before she found them and all her adventures after she left Siberia a few years ago. But, another side of him, is truly worried she’s going to force herself to share something she’s not ready yet to tell. 

He gives her a ‘you don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to’ look right before she’s about to speak, to which she replies with a soft smile to reassure him that she’ll be okay.

Lara has shared with him bits and pieces of what led them to meet years ago, but even he is surprised to hear the full story, mesmerized by the way she shares the astounding achievements she accomplished like it’s nothing special, and heart broken by the inflection in the tone of her voice as she talks about Grim, Alex and especially about Roth, subtle enough to hide her true emotions from anyone else but not good enough to fool him too.

The moment she finishes the story, explaining their escape from the island, everyone starts to murmur all at once, commenting on their favorite bits with whoever is sitting right by their side. 

Everyone except Jacob.

Jacob, who keeps processing everything she just said, quickly starts to worry not about her words, but for all the untold details they implied, wishing with all his heart to have misinterpreted some of the things that only him was able to catch, especially about the whole story of how she got her first kill.

He spirals into these thoughts for a while before someone’s voice raises among the whispers to ask Lara a direct question.

“And what about Sam? Is she okay now after all that?” Says one of the villagers, curious about the consequences of the experience on the poor girl that almost got sacrificed to a ghost japanese queen. 

“Yeah…” Lara smiles and nods, but there’s a hint of hesitation on her words before she continues. “Or so I’m told… I haven’t seen her in a while.” She sighs and takes a moment before continuing. “ We cut ties even before I came here…” And redirecting her eyes to Jacob she adds: “...sometimes you have to sacrifice things for the greater good and I… I needed to keep going.”

Lara’s mind spirals for a bit into her own memories, trying to pinpoint the precise moment where her friendship with Sam started to crumble into pieces, tainting their shared and happy years with all the misery that followed them. 

Nevertheless, after a few seconds of reflection, she manages to get back to her train of thoughts, shaking her head a couple of times in order to do so.

“And that’s what led me here, in the end.”

The whole village starts to cheer and clap at her sentence, which makes Lara smile a little, surprised by their reaction to being now featured as the center of the story.

“Well, I guess that you already know how this part goes, so I’ll skim through it…” 

In less than a second she gets the negative reaction she was expecting, with everyone, especially the younger part of the group, wanting to hear the whole thing with as many details as possible, which makes her smile even more.

“Okay, okay… I’ll start from the beginning.”

And so she does.

There’s a general hush and anticipation when she starts talking, everyone paying all the attention possible to everything she’s saying. But this peaceful atmosphere, just as she imagines, doesn’t last for long. 

The claps start as she begins to explain how she escaped from Konstantine’s prison, helping Jacob to get out of the cell where they met for the first time, and carry on as she tells them how he saved her life back in return after they fell into the freezing river.

All eyes go to Jacob as they keep cheering and clapping, making him break into laughter to finally stand and make a subtle bow before looking at Lara, which she returns right away.

Sofia blushes, and everyone giggles, as she explains how this one almost shot at her at the entrance of the village, the first time she tried to set foot on it, followed by a: “We’re lucky Jacob made it back just in time!” That an unknown villager shouts from the back of the crowd, making all of them laugh even more.

Lara spends a great deal time explaining the details of the high and lows of her journey, very amused by the way the they react to her story: gasping, cheering and laughing in an almost never ending loop, only occasionally interrupted by a thick silence that spreads for a few minutes whenever she tackles the more serious moments of her past.

Jacob listens with care back where is sitting, alone behind the whole crowd, paying attention to everything she says as his mind throws memories at him to complete what she’s left out of her speech on purpose.

So, when she tells them how they argued about the Atlas and went to look for it, even when he told her not to, his mind drifts away instantly to replay the part of the story she’s not telling them. 

His side.

~

Jacob is seated at the end of the observatory stairs, his eyes fixed to the ground as his mind replays the whole conversation all over again.

“Then help me find it… Before they do!”Jacob hesitated for a second, with his heart shattering into pieces. Half of him wanting to aid her, half of him dreading the thought of it.  

As he would come to regret later on, his fears were the ones to win the battle. “This is not your burden.”

That didn’t really happen… He says to himself, in a futile attempt of changing what he knows to be the truth.

“Of course it is! My father died for this.”Her words scared his heart more than he was expecting. So he chose his own even more carefully. More targeted.

He lets his head fall down between his knees, bringing his hands to the back of his neck.

He chose to hurt her. “You can’t fill the emptiness inside you, Lara.” 

“It didn’t happen…” He whispers unconsciously, like his body thinks that the past will be miraculously rewritten by manifesting his wishes out loud on the present. 

Nevertheless, his futile attempts to erase the last hour of his life are just that: futile. His only relief being brought to him in the shape of a memory, the last of his words to Lara, that now also apply to him, slithering through his mind to give an end to both stories.

“You can only set it free.”

“I can only set it free…” He replies to his past self, now in his present, knowing he doesn’t have any other option than to accept what’s happened and move forward.

But, after everything said and done, how could he?

“Father…”

The sudden appearance of a new voice interrupting his train of thoughts doesn’t startle Jacob, who has been expecting to have this conversation for a while now.

“I know… ”

His voice almost breaks as his mind quickly replays the highlight of their argument.

“You can’t fill the emptiness inside you, Lara.”

“How could you say those things to…”

His mind fights back one last time, torturing with the memory of the shock on Lara’s face after hearing his reproach.

“I’m gonna find it. With or without you.”

“I know.” He replies, in a much firmer tone of voice now, angry with her for risking her life because of him, and angry at himself for allowing it.

“You can pay it with me if you want to, but that’s not gonna get you anywhere.”

“...” Jacob sighs and takes a moment to calm down as he leans a little backwards, resting his weight on his elbows. “I know.” He admits one last time, raising his head to look at his daughter in an apologetic way. “I’m sorry.”

Sofía breaks a little smile and takes a seat by his side, looking for a few seconds at the last ray of sun setting on the horizon before speaking one more time.

“You know she will find out, right?” She finally tells him.

“I just wished…” He starts saying without thinking, mainly to himself, while turning his head to look at his daughter, sitting right next to him with a confused look in her eyes. “I mean… I know… She’s quite clever, isn’t she?” Jacob rectifies just in time, successfully masquerading his true feelings behind his usual ambiguity.

“Then what are you waiting for?”

He is confused for a second before understanding the switch on his daughter’s opinion and what she is truly trying to imply with her words.

“I thought you didn’t trust strangers…”

“Lara is no longer a stranger.” She replies, feeling a bit ashamed of how she acted and treated her at the beginning of their relationship. “And, to be honest, she may be the only one able to end this, once and for all.”

Jacob smiles faintly at his daughter’s words.

“Yeah, I think so too.”

“Then?” 

“I honestly don’t know…” Jacob sighs. “But you’re right, I should tell her.”

He takes his time, still hesitating about it, but he finally stands up, with his daughter following him right after, and turns to look at her before asking what he’s been anxious to inquire. 

“Do you know where I may find her?”

“Erm…” Sofia’s expression drastically freezes in a matter of seconds. “You’ll see…” She attempts to evade his question, without any success.

“You didn’t tell her…” He barely whispers, shocked by what he’s fearing.

Jacob closes the distance between them as fast as he’s able, grabbing his daughter by the arms in the process. 

“Tell me you didn’t tell her!”

Her father’s choice of words startles Sofia, who never in her entire life has seen him raise his voice or react to something like this.

“I...” She doesn’t know how to answer, shocked by the tinge of anger on Jacob’s sentence. Nevertheless, he doesn’t need to hear it to know what she is hesitant to say out loud.

Reality hits Jacob harder than expected, piercing a void in his heart only to be filled by fear and rage.

“You send her to face the deadless, on her own.” The dread of this thought seems to wound his soul in a way he’s never experienced before, feeling like an invisible thread is attached to it, and an unknown force that keeps pulling it with all its strength in an attempt to rip all his being inside out.

Sofía finally manages to recover from the initial shock, and quickly stands her ground, stating what she really thinks about the topic that brought about their entire argument.

“I didn’t send her anywhere, father.” She replies, feeling a bit hurt by his words. “And, no… I didn’t try to stop her either.” Jacob closes his eyes for a second and takes a deep breath, slowly releasing his daughter from his grasp. “Besides, I think you already know I wouldn't have been able to do so even if I wanted to.” 

Silence fills the air for a few seconds.

Sofia is now the one taking a moment to clear her mind after saying all this, trying to be understanding of her father's situation, thinking that Lara discovering their secret is what keeps him uneasy, and unaware of the true feelings that are now causing Jacob’s heart to crumble at the mention of her name. Tortured by the thought that she’s is now in danger because of him. 

“I know what you must be feeling…” 

You do not. His mind answers, too deep into his suffering to keep denying the true feelings that hide behind it.

“I know why you’re upset.”

You do not. He thinks again, but he nods, not ready yet to share the truth with anyone else.

“And Lara… Lara is strong. And wise.” 

That manages to get a subtle smile out of him, followed by a second nod.

“She can handle it… And I think she really wants to help us.”

“...” 

Another deep breath.

“Your… Our secret, will be safe with her.”

“...” Jacob nods a third time, following his gesture with a quick hug. “I know…” He finally answers in the middle of it. “I know.”

After the embrace is over, Sofia spends a couple of seconds analyzing his expression and, completely fooled by his now peaceful demeanor, she smiles at him and asks if we would like to help her fortify the main village.

“Levi has offered to help me, but if you want to join me…”

“I’d love to…” He replies with a faint smile. 

“But?” 

The fact that she knows him so well gets a chuckle out of him.

“But… I have other matters to attend to.” He lies. “I am sorry.” He lies again. “Do you mind if I join you later, once I’ve finished?”

“Sure.”

He despises not being honest, especially with his family but, right now, he needs to be alone. 

He needs to think, and his daughter, who maybe senses more than she’s able to understand, quickly grants his wishes, giving him a peck on the cheek and walking away, leaving Jacob with his fear, his guilt and his feelings, along with his never ending stream of desperate thoughts.

Forgive me, Sofia… He apologizes now that she’s gone, while he starts walking without a fixed route, hating the fact that he’s deceiving her by keeping the cruel truth to himself. But… I cannot tell you… At least, not yet. I… I don’t even understand…

He does.

“I…”

And he cannot pretend he doesn’t. Not anymore. Not after today.

I…

Even his thoughts choke when he thinks of it, unaware there were feelings left for him to discover after so many years and so many lives.

Another deep breath.

“...”

Jacob keeps walking, with the darkness as his only companion, letting his feet guide him wherever they want to go.

Why now? 

He asks, more to the heavens than to himself, mortified by the cruel timing he thinks the Lord has chosen for this to happen. 

A part of him is almost expecting to get a reply to the question, unconsciously waiting for minutes to hear something in the wind as he keeps walking away while headed nowhere. 

But it does not arrive. 

It never arrives. 

So he tries again.

“Why her?”

His voice disappears into the air along with his question. This time around although, he is not expecting an answer, and perhaps, or better said most likely, it’s because he already knows it.

After minutes of wandering, without a set course or route, he finally stops walking and, even if he hasn’t been paying attention to the path taken, now that he’s there he’s perfectly aware of where he’s been headed since the beginning.

After all, it is his favorite place in the entire world.

Despite the darkness, Jacob knows to perfection where everything is. Every little plant, every little rock. The hidden path that leads to the rim of the cliff, which he takes without hesitation, as he’s done countless times before, sitting on the edge, with his legs hanging from it, as he rests all his weight back and relaxes a little, taking in the views that hold such a special place inside his heart.

The murmur of the river and the thundering waterfall, crashing in the otherwise silent night, is a well known melody for him. A masterful composition that always manages to calm him down no matter the problem he needs to face.

That’s another first for Jacob. For, this time around, his thoughts, slowly but surely, are becoming louder than this cherished symphony, flooding his mind with too much noise to let him hear anything else.

The glimmers of light that sparkle in the water, which he usually examines for hours, caused by the stars and the moon that shine brighter than ever on the dark indigo sky are not enough, for the first time ever, to catch his attention or, better said, distract him, from what’s really eating him alive.

Instead, what used to be his sanctuary, seems to be turning in a new weapon for the universe to torture him even further, in which everything he ever thought to be beautiful or mesmerizing, is now just a reminder of each and every inch of all her being.

He cannot look at the dark shimmering river without picturing her sparkling umber eyes, or hear the water crashing against the rocks without imagining her voice and her laugh, nor feeling the air run through his hair without remembering hers flowing in the wind.

Why her? He asked before, and asks again, despite knowing way too well why.

“Why her…?” He murmurs now, but with a different tone, questioning the question instead of its subject. “Her indeed… Her.”

Jacob laughs at the thought of it.

How not?

How? He finally surrenders, and all his feelings break loose.

How could someone meet her and walk away?

A deep breath in, a deep breath out.

How could anyone think of anything after thinking of her.

His eyelids fall, his heartbeat hikes.

How can they look away when she’s on sight?

How can they move? How can they breathe?

Right hand on the ground. 

Left one on his knee.

How can my soul not fall apart?

How does one fight his own heart, if it’s not really meant to be?

How can I do more than crash, and burn and fall again, right at her feet?

~

The memory is so vivid that it takes him a little to hear the loud sound of people reacting to the end of Lara’s story about the Atlas, muffled by the reminder of that unforgettable night, where he realized he could no longer deny that he had fallen in love as never before in his life.

She stops talking just in time to see him starting to come back, taking the opportunity, now that the crowd speaks and laughs, to set her focus on Jacob for the first time in a while.

Him, on the other side, still needs a few more seconds to catch up.

The sound of the river gradually transforms back into laughter, the crash of the water into their comments, and his mind finally returns to reality, after its enthralling journey to the past, finding now, in his present, his only reason to come back and to keep going.

His eyes quickly search for hers, which are already waiting for him, falling again into that mesmerizing umber glow, as he did so long ago, and letting their gaze melt into one another as they both get lost into the other’s sight. 

Way too enchanted to look away.

Way too in love even try.

----------------------------------

Hell yeah!! Spent more than an hour on that ending, believe it or not, and I'm still not 100% happy about it… But overall I'm soooo happy to post a new chapter for this fic.

Next one we have Lara's pov of the "true" ending of RotTR so… yeah! Get ready because it's gonna get wild. Imma nuke the canon through the roof for that one lol

As always, feel free to stop for a chat if you want to <3

Today I'm feeling 100% happy for the first time in A LONG time… And I cannot think of a better way to celebrate than to post this… So here it is. Thanks to everyone that's been patient enough to wait for this, and welcome to any new reader that comes by. I'm so glad to have you all here.

Have a lovely day/night!!! ~~tea

[noro-noro-noro]

ok dreams...

1. masaru fisherman was having some kind of weird event where he was a final boss of some kind of limbus company based card game. this was taking place in my mom's kitchen + living room. there were several other people there. I didn't completely understand what was going on so everuobe was saying the names of rerrible s1 skills and I suggested kk hong lu cloudcutter and he started taking the coins off cloud cutter and multiplying them by 6. everyone was mad at mefor that. then something happener & Mr fisherman got sad instead & we had to sit around the kitchen table & he asked each of us for our thoughts. also in this dream he spoke Chinese probably bc I don't actually speak any Japanese

2. he was still there but now we were in a gray auditorium full of pianos. he was performing Rachmaninoff's prelude in c sharp minor but he was actually doing it in C minor. he was messing up the middle part so I wanted to play the correct notes on the piano in front of me, but I also didn't want to bother him, so I was just tapping along on top of the keys until I did accidentally hit some at the end of the song. one of my friends was there and once mr fisherman was done playing c minor they started playing a highly embellished version of fur Elise & I was like oh wow I had no clue you could play piano too!! and someone approached asking if we were professionals & I was like no just hobby level. I played that into bit to hey bulldog.

3. some of us went on a quest?

4. I was not one of the strongest on that quest I was more like some kind of squire? I think I was like9 or 10? anyway when we got back one of the girls was missing, my older sister who kinda dressed like a tradwife. she was in the basement tied to a chair with a blindfold on being threatened by a ??? unsure if it was a person or not. I wasn't sure what the plan was but the stronger people were only "waiting for an opportunity" but I was worried so I came down to the basement oblivious holding some snacks from the kitchen and was like 'claire where are you~" or maybe clarissa. a Cla name for sure. anyway I also innocently offered the guy thing a hot dog and pretended that I thought they were just playing games. he ate one anyway so I palmed a knife to her hand and then was trying to engage him in conversation. eventually the others showed up and he realized I was just a lure stopping him from cutting her eyes out & tried to escape. but they closed all the doors

5. some kind of house party at my mom's house at night in the back yard. a lot of people I know but am not friends with were there. a girl from my studio class that already went back to Iceland this year, both gumshoe & columbo were hanging out, my old roommate and her parents, and the strong people from last dream, who locked the evil guy in the BASEMENT OF UNSPEAKABLE PUNISHMENT!!! columbo was riding a golf cart around and I was in the back triumphantly blasting.. bungalow bill. of all things. anyway then I ran into my dad a bunch of the guests went on a walk with us. to the bottom of the hill, and a bit over, and then two buses showed up. this is related to the last dream where I was on the bus where it added some random stop off halfway up the other street with a convenience store and showers, bc some kid went onto the first bus and then we got on the second bus. it had a lot of weird safes and windows. the bus driver was hollerig at somebody. through the windows, it looked like daylight outside.

[machineaex]

Departure and orientation (Oct. 1-5)

After 45 long, long days of waiting, it was finally time : October 1st, was here. The new cold air that had fallen on Montreal had made me impatient for the warm days of Japanese fall. I finished squeezing my life in my suitcases and off I was. On the 30th, dad drove me to the Quality Inn where I’d spend my last night, just in front of the airport, since I needed to be there pretty early the next day. The whole day I’d been crying on and off, so dad had barely begun hugging me goodbye when I broke down. Only advantage of being a crybaby : by 8 o’clock, I was exhausted. The fatigue balanced out the stress, and I got a great night’s sleep.

I met up with Jessica, our JET supervisor, and Camille, the other girl who’d caught COVID in August. She and her had been texting non-stop, counting down the days until our flight. I unfortunately had to surrender my precious hiking boots to Jessica, as they weighed down my luggage too much. As much as I love them, they weren’t worth the 100$ overweight fee. I was cheered up at soon at we got to the gate (after security decided to completely rip apart my carefully organized carry-on). We’d only been sitting for a few minutes, 2 hours before boarding. An old lady came up to us, explained she had free accesses to the fancy Desjardins lounge, and that she wanted to use them on us! We were a bit suspicious, “don’t take candy from strangers” and all, but as soon as she said “free food and alcohol” we packed up our crosswords and followed her to the 3rd floor. For two hours, we feasted on gratin, croissants and, of course, topped it all off with mimosas and way-too-strong gin tonics. By the time we had to get in line to board, our conversations were just a tad giggly.

The flight was excruciatingly long. I had been too generous and agreed to switch seat with someone who wanted to be with their spouse, landing me in the middle seat of the middle row. At least I was next to Camille, but I wasn’t able to sleep one minute, something I normally do very easily on planes. I watched an amazing Chinese movie called Endgame (Chinese characters name?), which got me nearly screaming at my screen and punching the air multiple times. Great stuff. After 13 hours and feeling like my butt had completely receded into my body, here is the run down of my evening :

4:00 : Landing. Oh my god, we’re in Japan!

6:00 : Finally escape Immigration and Customs, sweating, grimy and sore.

7:00 : Leave the airport, after waiting for every Canadian JET to arrive.

8:30 : Wake up from my bus nap and lug my suitcases inside… only to be redirected to a conference room.

9:00 : Freed from the welcome conference (where everyone was in PJs dozing off) and head to my room to finally shower.

9:30 : Pass out after being awake for exactly 24 hours.

Our orientation training began the very next day. In the morning we had a bunch of online videos to watch at our own pace. After that, we were free to roam and/or sleep until the afternoon. We then had in-person training : sitting on an uncomfortable chair, listening to someone read PowerPoints about education, COVID-19 measures and Japanese etiquette. The Montreal branch of the JET Programme had already given us a ton of training, so most of what was said was a repeat. It was a bit shocking to see some people *cough* Americans *cough* genuinely surprised at some very basic notions such as how to greet coworkers or the fact that jeans aren’t allowed at work. Anyway, the fun usually began in the evening, after a big nap. By the way, the hotel included slippers and a yukata : here's a lil' selfie!

The first night, Camille and I headed to the busiest part of Shinjuku, only a short walk away from our hotel. We found a nice bustling restaurant, a little old-school looking. It took us forever to order, as we weren’t sure exactly how to order. Waiters were rushing past us, hands always full of food, and never really looked our way even though we’d clearly put the menu away and were staring holes into their apron. Eventually, we realized we needed to raise our hands like schoolchildren and call out. The service was then super polite and, most of all, super quick. We had our many little dishes coming in at seemingly the perfect pace, as if they were watching and matching our speed. We had some grilled pork belly over egg rice, beef dumplings, cold udon noodles with a dipping sauce and some deep-fried fish filets, along with a cocktail each. In the end, the whole thing cost us 25$ for the both of us! God I love Japan.

The second day, we managed to finish our morning videos around 7, so we headed out for coffee and a walk. We had humongous iced coffees topped with soft-serve vanilla ice cream (which we thought was whipped cream). After that sugary breakfast, we walked nearly 2 hours to reach Harajuku, the fashion/cutesy district. I’d been there when I was 16, so I was looking forward to going back. There, we ate the Instagram-famous rainbow cotton candy from Totti Candy Factory and took some pictures in a purikura. Purikuras are this sort of liminal hellish space where tons of photo booths play cute tunes and speak in high pitched voices (I’ll upload a video soon). The photo booths are made to edit your face entirely to make you “beautiful” according to the extreme Japanese standards. We played along and ended up with scary uncanny valley selfies, which I will treasure forever.

Later that night, we went to a conveyor belt sushi restaurant next to the hotel. I remember the first time I went to one of these. It was one of my first days in Tokyo with dad in 2012, and at that time I categorically refused to eat raw fish. The only thing I would pick off the belt were the sweet egg slabs and the occasional edamame bowl. Needless to say that this time, I redeemed myself. We finished off the evening at a pub, drinking a mix of umeshu (plum wine) and soda, my new favourite drink.

And there it was, orientation was over! Wednesday morning, I bid farewell to Camille, who was headed out to Saga prefecture, all the way south on Kyushu island. I met up with the only other Yamanashi JET, a neuroscience major named Katherine, and we were escorted to Shinjuku station for our 11h30 train (perfectly on time, of course!).

Details from my first days in Yamanashi to come!

[nihkol]

Reflections on Life, 05/21/2024

I’m afraid of drinking my nightly catnip tea because somehow, just somehow, it’s going to propel me back into that murky state of unconsciousness, of unknowing, and then it’s suddenly lights on and repeat.

Sometimes it’s like I want to cry, but there’s a blockage somewhere – does anyone else feel like that? Like the tears are right behind a glass wall, you can see them piling up and you can feel the pressure against the glass on the opposite side. You watch the waves rise and ebb, rise and ebb, and suddenly it shatters-

Sitting in a dark room full of shadows. No light for miles. The last light left half an hour ago, speeding in a red Prius down the highway. Darkness again, for the next 18 hours in purgatory until a brief crack of pleasure appears just for me.

Is it worth staying for such a brief spark of life?

I wish I could stomach alcohol. I wish the water that just slid down my gullet burned and numbed the neural pathways working overtime in my brain. Somewhere in there, a little girl sits with her elbows on her knees, face buried deep. Silence.

I could dig up memories of hatred and longing just to feel something again. Just to break that glass, in case of emergency. The emergency is that I can’t let the tears go. They cling to my soul heavy, viscous, like maple syrup. Sweet in a sickening way.

Please, let anything numb the numbness away. Please let it be free. Drowning in a puddle of my own sorrow is better than letting it fester within, a malady of lostness. I look upwards, to the sky, and see clouds drifting by. They mind their own business. They have no bills to pay. The woods are closing in on me, and I can no longer run away. It is all on me now.

Sometimes it feels like there is another young woman who has come to replace me and is sitting down, typing out these horrid things on a laptop that never really existed. Sometimes it feels like the real me is in a state of limbo somewhere, somewhere no one can reach, only I can. My own personal hell. I wallow in the fog and linger at the restaurants where my old friends used to be – I ride a bicycle down the roads I grew up on and eat from trash cans. The food is forever edible. I sit down, exhausted from the endless trips I take during the day. I sit down on a park bench and lie down to rest. No one will harm me.

Dreadful things like this can’t happen to a person like me. My soul is being torn in two, copy and paste. She lands here in front of the laptop typing furiously like let it all out and I look up, I see the clouds moving without a care in the world and here I stand, a little ant in the middle of little trees in a dollhouse for unseen powers. They move my pawn two squares back and I lose my mind in a cold bathroom. They move my pawn one square forward and suddenly I am floating on cloud nine in a Japanese restaurant. Who is doing this to me? Can you stop?

How do I believe what’s real anymore? I wake up and feel as if I’m living the same day, every day. It suffocates me. It’s a boa constrictor slowly getting closer to my last breath – it salivates over the thought. The thought of destruction, of death. Of my death. I salivate at the thought of- I can’t go that far. It wouldn’t be marketable.

It wouldn’t be who I want to portray myself as to the world. Did that make any sense? No? Too bad. It’s art. It’s what keeps me alive. It’s a wild animal nestled in my chest that has taken flight in earlier years and sat in a cage, frothing at the mouth, during college. It’s clawing for freedom again and I can’t deny it what it wants. Who would I be to do such a thing?

I picture all of the negative things in the world manifesting themselves in my own life – disease, pain, sorrow, misfortune, bankruptcy, failure, disappointment. I would be used to such a world. I would survive, hopefully. And then it’s back to it again tomorrow. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

I take the dream of living in the mountains, breathing the mist of angels, between my pointer finger and my thumb and just extinguish it like that. Fuck that. It’ll never happen. And then I sit at my laptop and four hours have passed, I haven’t done a goddamn thing but escape. Escape what? When did I choose this life?

When I sat through endless college promotions in high school and gave up. When I stepped foot on my first college campus and brewed biodiesel in a big container. When I sat in the library and listened to his name on repeat for the first semester. When I hid my fears, my dreams, my humanness in the little cold bathroom and poured it onto many pieces of folder paper without a breath in between. Just me and raw emotion. No one to protect me anymore.

I chose this life and now it feels like I’m running from such an awful thing, a monster it’s become after I neglected it and tore it to shreds day after day out of some twisted sense of control. She looks out the window twenty-seven times a day because it reminds her of the world she’ll never see. Deep down, it’s punishment. But she’s not supposed to know. Can you keep a secret?

Tuesday, May 21, 2024 12:00 am - 12:19 am

[fanfics-andstuff]

Yesterday, There Were More of Us (Old Work)

Chapter 1: Yesterday, There Were More of Us

Alexander Palace, St. Petersburg, Russia…

January 1, 2177

They were all sitting down, all of the adrenaline had drained out of them when they were sitting in their separate limos, and now they were in shock from the events that happened a few hours before.

No one saw this coming, except the a few within their ranks.

And that was the number one thing all International Elites fear the most: traitors.

Which is how all of this happened.

Now Nikolai Romanov was thinking about it, The Late Cosmo de Lafayette looked somewhere off in the distance above the reporters and paparazzi.

I guess we’ll never know , he thought.

People around the world call it The Great French Assasination for several reasons: it took place in Paris, many French International Elites were dead via assasination, a motivated personal plan was set up by Holy Queen Georgette of Britannia, thousands of French dead, acres of land and building were razed to the ground. Furthermore, many of the IE’s who had survived it and now were either safe in their country or somewhere in France suffered injuries. And the cherry on top was that Lyanna de Lafayette and Alexander Hamilton were captured by the Sheridan’s Rangers.

Tonight was supposed to be a fun night as any International Elite Reunion Gala, but instead, it was full of heartache, tears, pain, bloodshed, and serious diplomatic decisions that will change everything as they know it.

His daughter, Yelisaveta, glared vehemently at them, “I told you all,” she spat at them, “Britannia was going to do something sooner rather than later.” She threw her arms up in the air with suppressed anger, “Now look where that got us: this shithole of a mess.”

A loud exasperated sigh rang through the near silent room, “Yes, you did Lisa,” she punched the bridge of her nose to try to calm herself down, “but we couldn’t have done anything at the time, I told you that ,” she tried to reason with her but to no avail.

The figure skater glared at her, “Well I’m sorry, your Royal Majesty ,” Liska sneered, “I guess I overestimated your power, Sasha.” Before the young Tsarina of Russia could retort, a fist slammed down to an armchair. “Now isn’t the time of dwelling in the past and blaming others,” looking directly both at their daughter and ruler, “we need to make a decision on how we’re going to respond to this for the entire world is looking at us.”

“Grigor is right,” all eyes turned to the third eldest, “we either ignore this whole situation or go to war, both choices will result in bloodshed and scrutiny on both sides of the spectrum, and the entire world.” Evgeniya Brazauskienė, stated with a tone that meant business and absolutely no dilly dallying.

With that, they laid out the fate of Russia for the next few years…

~.~

Osaka, Japan…

December 12, 2164 (13 years earlier)…

Nothing could stop her from smiling, even when her cheeks started to hurt. How could she not? She had just won the Junior Grand Prix Final of Figure Skating with a total score of 219.67 points, her now personal high score.

The sound of trumpets roared through the air, mixing with all the cheerings of everyone in the room.

“ISU Figure Skating Final 2163 and 2164, Osaka, Japan, victory ceremony Junior Ladies,” Mr. Suzuki announced in English, while another, Ms. Takahashi, repeated in Japanese.

Everything was set on the ice: a red and white podium with the symbol of the Grand Prix of Figure Skating Final 2164 logo, three medals on three trays carried by three girls, three flowers carried by another set of three girls, all under a gray rug.

The male announcer started, “Third and winner of the Bronze Medal, representing Russia: Yevgenia MAKARAVERA!” Zhenya skated on the ice just as they said her name, her full blue dress sashayed while the background music of River Flows in You by Lorenzo de Luca, then skated to her place on the lowest part of the podium.

“Second and winner of the Silver Medal, representing Russia: Yulia KAIDENOVSKYA!” Yulka was wearing a Bridgerton inspired dress with the music of Material Girl cover used in the show, eventually skating back to take her place as second on the podium.

“First and winner of the Gold Medal, representing Russia: Yelisaveta ROMANOVA-POTEMKINA!” The crowd cheered louder than before, some chanted her name “Lisa, Lisa!”, some waved the Russian flag higher, and some just created flat out noise. Her gold, pink, and purple dress moved along with her as the music of Syrax’s Flight by Ramin Djawadi played but was drowned out by everyone around her. The Russian bowed multiple times, quickly making her way to her place as the winner of the Junior Ladies, but not before hugging her two companions.

“The medals will be presented by our honored guest: Representative Violet Hill.” As the Canadian placed the medal on each girl before Yelisaveta, the crowd cheered respectfully, while they shook hands. As the elderly woman raised the medal, she bowed down for the gold piece to be hung around her neck. Ms. Hill was quite careful of her long hair that was wrapped in a low bun. The temperatures clashing between the cold, youthful one and the warm, wrinkly of the other.

“The flowers will be presented by ISU Representative Maratelle Romano.” This time, the Italian shook their hands before giving out the flowers, each looking identical. “Ladies and gentlemen, please rise for the national anthem of the winner.”

As they sang their motherland’s anthem, the Russian flag was presented in front of them.

“Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you, our medalists!” They all posed for the small group of photographers in front of them.

“We invite the skaters to take a victory lap around the ice.” The winner looked at her friends with a questioning look. While she was down to do it, Yelisaveta wanted to make sure that they were too.

With the biggest smiles they had, they took their time taking their lap around the rink; making sure to high-five the hands in the crowd.

One spectator gave them flower crowns with their favorite flowers: Yevgenia with daisies, Yulia with jasmines, and Yelisaveta with lilies.

After much posing for pictures, it was finally time to get off the ice and do the most painful part of it: the interviews.

Immediately after they got off the ice, they were hounded by one of the three devils also known as their coach. “Zhenya, you’re right leg was off. Yulka, you’re simply not good enough. Lisa, do better than whatever abomination of that bow was.” Ekaterina Tupincina hissed at them, “We practiced this for weeks!” Thankfully, she stopped when a cameraman came a little bit too close, but they all knew that it would be worse later. It was like a switch in her personality when she later instructed them cheerfully to prepare for the hounds.

Flashes were all around, along with the irritating screaming. How amazing , Yelisaveta thought, just after winning the Grand Prix, we get this monstrosity . Thankfully, Yevgenia shut them up by saying -more like yelling- that they will start if it was quiet. They all looked at Lisa, the de facto leader in the room. But as soon as she raised an eyebrow, the yelling resumed.

“How does it feel to win bronze/silver/gold yet again, Zhenya/Yulka/Lisa!”

“Is true that Tupincina another version of Eteri Tutberidze, but worse!”

“Are the three of you going to continue the Russian domination for figure skating!”

“Why do you think that you qualify for the Olympics in the next two years, Lisa!”

The last question struck a nerve in the said girl. How dare they try to downplay her skating? Everyone knows that she’s been undefeated so far since figure skating has been held tightly by the Russians.

Yelisaveta felt the entire room’s eyes focused solely on her as well as every camera. The weight on her shoulders was back, the judgemental eyes of the reporter who asked the question, the worried look that was surely plastered on Zhenya’s face, and  the concealed look of smugness disguised as indifference from Yulka.

Steeling her emotions for the incoming onslaught that will come later, the gold medalist answered, “Since I’ve been able to compete in competitions, I’ve been winning through all of them. This is because the judges see my skating as the best out of all of the girls, and that is shown by the point values that I received. And because of this, I may qualify for the Olympics when the time comes, but we just have to see if I’m capable for the next two years.” Humbling yourself was the best way to get out of that situation, but behind closed doors, her coach will likely reprimand her for that. As long as she doesn’t humiliate herself in public, then that’s all Yelisaveta needs.

The rest of the interviews were a whirlwind of emotions: sadness, anger, disgust, fear, envy, smugness, the list goes on. At the end of it, the three medalists only wanted to go back to their hotel to finally relax from the pressure and expectations, even for a few hours.

[yuriko-mukami]

Maniac 01

Yuriko’s Story

⚠️ This chapter has content that is not suitable for minors or people who are uncomfortable with sexual matters. Avoiding reading for your own good if you are either. ⚠️

Maniac 01

Squeezing her fork, Yuriko couldn’t help but stare as two of Ruki’s brothers, Kou and Yuma, gathered their plates full of food as Azusa was only sitting at his place. The four brothers couldn’t have been more different. While Ruki was stern yet calm and collected, both Kou and Yuma seemed to be rather hot-headed. The tone they used as they tried to sort out who was allowed to take what kind of portion of the meal was anything but friendly, and Yuriko couldn’t help but wonder if she would have had the same kind of arguments with her brother if they had grown up together.

"Good grief, there is more than enough for everyone. Stop that immediately. Did you already forget that Yuriko is eating with us for the first time, Kou, Yuma? And Azusa, you should have your share too." Ruki’s voice was authoritative when it conquered the dining room where Yuriko was now sitting next to him for the first time, observing the vampires who were supposed to be her new family.

Azusa seemed to be the calmest one of the four, yet the most worrying one too. He had bandages wrapped around his neck and both wrists too which made Yuriko wonder what had happened to him. Were there bullies in their school? Had someone there hurt Azusa? That would have explained the young man's quiet nature too. It was something Yuriko could relate to, the loneliness Azusa radiated around him when others were getting louder and louder.

While visiting when Yuriko had been sick, Ruki had made sure she had stayed in his room most of the time, so she had only seen the other Mukami brothers briefly. And this morning she had missed both breakfast and lunch while sleeping in. But now… 

This is the first family dinner for me since forever… They are so loud but it is still rather cozy…

"Say, M-kitsune-chan, which of my songs do you like the most~?" Kou leaned in, staring Yuriko directly in the eyes.

"Umh…" Yuriko squirmed in her chair. That's right. Kou was an idol. Of course, Yuriko knew that; even she couldn’t have avoided hearing the whispers about him going around the school, and she had noticed how girls swarmed around him. But Yuriko had never paid too much attention to idols, so she truly didn't know any of Kou's songs. The fact was rather embarrassing now when she had to sit in front of him and chat with him like there was nothing uncommon at all. “I… umh…”

“Hah?! Who cares?” Yuma’s voice rumbled to Yuriko’s ears before she could answer Kou. “Vixen should know not to touch my sugarchan! That’s more important than her favorite songs!”

Sugarchan?

“Obviously Yuriko knows how to behave, Yuma. She is not going to take your sugar cubes without permission,” Ruki said. “Is that not right, Yuriko?”

“Eh? Yes… yes, I mean… no… Of course, I don’t do… such a thing…”

“Yuriko-san… you can come… to look at my… knife collection after the… dinner.” Azusa gave her his first smile since they had met.

Yuriko swallowed. Had she really used the word ‘cozy’ just a moment ago? Right now ‘weird’ would have described the situation better. She shifted on her chair and tried to focus on eating the meal of meaty foreign dishes. 

They ate mainly foreign dishes earlier too, right? I don’t think Ruki offered me Japanese food when I was sick… Even the porridge was a bit odd. Tasty but still… 

While enjoying the sparkle of flavors on her tongue Yuriko couldn’t help but wonder where the vampire family originated from. It was so obvious that they were from abroad when she looked at them; while both Ruki and Azusa had dark features, their eyes gave them away, and both Kou and Yuma had naturally blond hair, even though Yuma’s was more light brown than actually blond. Then again, Yuriko didn’t look like a normal person either. So many times had she heard about her fluffy white hair with sky-blue tips and caught odd glances. She could have been a foreign person herself… and in a way she truly was.

Now, I know the reason for that… but their origins remain a mystery. Maybe they are from the realm of Demons where my brother is detained too. Ruki might tell me one day if I’m able to gain his trust… 

As Yuriko stayed silent the conversation at the table went on. She focused on eating but her mind wandered. It was so difficult to believe she was here again, and this time she didn’t know if she would ever go back home. Was that even her home anymore? Her father didn’t truly want her there, she was only… Yuriko didn’t have a clue what she exactly was to him but not a daughter he would care about.

He wanted to use me for some kind of trade… Who would do that to their own child? Am I even his child? Why does he hate me so much? He has always been so distant but I never understood why that was. I thought I had done something wrong but now…

“Oh no, Yuma-kun, now you have done it! Look at M-kitsune-chan’s face! She clearly fears you!”

“What the hell, Kou?!”

Yuriko flinched as Yuma’s voice cut through the air.

“See? She almost jumped~ Kind of funny though. I can make you jump even more if you like the thrill, M-kitsune-chan~ Surely you would have so much more fun with me than with Ruki-kun…”

“Kou.” Ruki sounded as stoic as ever. His steel-blue eyes were ice as they darted to his blond brother who looked like he was having the time of his life.

“What is it, Ruki-kun? You brought M-kitsune-chan here, so clearly she is for our entertainment~”

“Yuriko is my livestock. She is mine and only mine.”

“Is that so? Judging by the scent of her blood you haven’t made her officially yours, Ruki-kun. Therefore —”

The legs of the chair screeched against the dining room floor as Ruki pushed his chair backward. Cold digits wrapped around Yuriko’s tiny wrist faster than she realized, and he dragged her up; her fork was left dancing on the edge of the plate as her fingers gave up their grip.

“I… umh… Ruki…?”

Yuriko stumbled after Ruki to the hallway and all the way to a room Yuriko hadn’t visited before. As the door slammed shut after them, she tried to peek around. It was a library with dark academy aesthetics. That much she could gather while Ruki dragged her into the middle of the room, still gripping her wrist. Icy shivers went through her body but pain also started to numb her fingertips. 

“Ruki… please… you hurt me…”

“Fuck!”

Ruki released his grasp. Yuriko pulled her hand back, pressing it against her chest. Her fingers throbbed as blood began to circulate appropriately again. She could already see how bruises formed on her fair skin; it was rather obvious that the next day she would have a new kind of bracelet around her wrist.

"Yuriko, I must apologize." After running his thumb over the bruised wrist, Ruki pushed Yuriko to sit on a surprisingly soft and bouncy couch. He lifted her hand as he sat down next to her and kissed the bruising skin before sliding his tongue over it. "I should not have lost it like that. Kou's words hit my nerve from time to time even though I know he is only joking. I hope you can forgive me, Yuriko. I know I do not deserve it but that is my simple wish."

Kou's words? Yuriko swallowed. She hadn’t understood the full meaning of those. Wasn’t she Ruki’s now? She had promised to belong to him and moved into this manor to live with him and his family.

"Umh… I forgive you. You didn't mean to hurt me, right?"

"I do not wish to hurt you," Ruki said, kissing Yuriko’s wrist one more time. His thumb brushed over the back of her hand, the touch being the opposite of the harsh grip that had clenched her wrists before. “Last night you told me that you would give yourself, your very being, in my hands, that you would be mine. And I will make you completely mine so that no one can ever take you away from me. You will belong to me, and only to me.”

A sigh left Ruki’s lips. “But I do not force anything on you. I will wait until you are ready to surrender to me completely. For now, it is enough that you will live with me here. Forgive my brothers for their rudeness. I will make sure that they do not say such things about you ever again, especially Kou.”

“Umh… it… It wasn’t that bad…” Yuriko lowered her gaze, shaking her head a little. Everything was so confusing, so overwhelming, yet she couldn’t deny the warmth spread through her body. At least one person in this world wanted her when everyone else seemed to leave her. “I don’t understand the full meaning of Kou-kun’s words… I guess…” Yuriko nibbled her bottom lip for a moment. “I mean… how I become yours. I… already promised that. Wasn’t that enough?”

Kou’s words had made it pretty clear that something was still missing but Yuriko needed clarification. As she pondered over the matter a cold finger brushed a lock of her hair behind her ear before gently grabbing her chin and lifting her head.

“Do not avert your gaze when you talk to your master.” Ruki’s voice was as stern as ever, yet there was a hint of softness in it. Yuriko lifted her gaze, meeting his icy… no, stormy eyes. “The words aren’t commitment enough, the physical union is needed, vampire’s climax with biting, and after then you truly are mine.”

“Umh… physical union? A climax with biting?”

As the words slipped past her lips, their meaning sank into Yuriko’s mind. Ruki was talking about that… The heated moment from the time Yuriko had earlier spent in this mansion, in Ruki’s bedroom, returned to her mind. The night of the full moon…

“Ah, Ruki… I… This… What are you doing…?”

“Your master wants you to surrender yourself completely tonight.”

“Umh…. Ruki… please… not like this… I will give myself… to you… but… You said that the full moon affects you. I need to know… that it isn’t only because of the moon…”

Yuriko blinked. Yes, that. The full surrender. She swallowed. Now that the moon was still waning Ruki talked so calmly, yet he wasn’t fully able to hide the storm in his eyes. So, it wasn’t because of the moon. He truly wanted her. Was it only to make her his? Or… was there more?

“You know what I am talking about, Yuriko, do you not?” Ruki whispered, leaning in, his voice caressing her eardrum. “I wish to touch every inch of this beautiful body of yours and make you shiver from pure pleasure while I take you to the world your imagination cannot cover. You will be moaning your master’s name until that is the only thing you can even think about.”

The heat rushed on Yuriko’s cheeks in seconds as Ruki’s words sailed into her ear. They alone were enough to make her quiver. The promise of unknown pleasures was intriguing, and if that was the way to make sure she would never be alone anymore, there was no reason to deny his wishes.

“Umh… I do know… and… I want to become yours. Completely.”

Yuriko’s voice trembled when she said the words she knew would tie her fate. Yet there wasn’t even a shred of regret in her; the truth was she wished to ensure her place in Ruki’s life. She wanted to keep this one person and never let go. Ruki offered everything to her on a silver platter; she only needed to seal the deal. The price would be her blood, along with the other matter but somehow even that felt right. This was how things were supposed to be.

Ruki’s mouth touched Yuriko’s ear. “Prepare yourself, Yuriko, the night will be long but I promise to take good care of you. I do not wish to hurt you, so I will only bite you gently. You do not need to worry. I will guide you step by step to the pleasure only I can give you, and you will love it. ”

The kiss that brushed Yuriko’s chin was cold but sent flaring waves through her entire body lighting a flame deep within her. The lips followed her chin line while the cool tip of the nose stroked her cheek. Instinctively Yuriko turned her head, pressing her mouth against the closing one. She had enough time to gently suck Ruki’s bottom lip until she felt a smirk and his now wavering voice reached her ears.

“Hmm… so eager for your master’s kisses. How very bold of you, a punishment would be in place.”

Strong hands pushed Yuriko onto the couch while Ruki’s mouth conquered hers, the tongue forcing its way past her lips, not leaving even the tiniest corner unexplored. As the kiss melted her down to her core, Ruki’s body pressed against her, his fingers entangling her locks. He was so chilling against her, yet she couldn’t help the burning that washed over her as the soft tongue danced with hers, making it almost impossible to breathe.

A hand glided down Yuriko’s side, pushing its way under her unzipped hoodie and caressing her skin through the thin fabric of her top. She could feel the radiating ice, yet even that flared her more. The fingers weren’t in a hurry but moved down slowly, giving her time to get used to the sensation. The rush from full moon night had vanished and was replaced with lingering pleasures.

As Ruki broke the kiss, Yuriko gasped for air as if she hadn’t breathed in ages. Her head was light and hazy and soon was her view too, as Ruki pulled off her glasses, putting them on a nearby table. He brushed a lock of her away from her face right after, giving her a smile. Yet one corner of his mouth rose into a smirk that was enough to make Yuriko’s stomach flutter.

“Keep those beautiful eyes of yours on your master as I guide you in the world of pleasure~” Ruki’s words made Yuriko swallow, but she nodded, not trusting her voice at the moment. He moved down, his lips examining the skin of her neck. 

The tip of Ruki’s nose brushed against Yuriko’s veins as he inhaled deeply. “Your scent is intoxicating.” His fangs scratched the skin slightly, making Yuriko tense from the tingling pain but instead of piercing her neck, Ruki licked over the scratch marks, fishing the tiny droplets of her blood just before sealing the tiny wounds his fangs had left. At the same time, a cold hand pushed up the hem of her skirt, traveling up her inner thigh. The fingers drew circles on the soft flesh, furthering their way toward the lace panties which – to Yuriko’s fright – were already glued to her skin because of the moist feeling Ruki’s every movement had forced out of her.

“Such a good girl, already wet for your master~”

Heat painted Yuriko’s face all over and she let out a tiny series of mumbles that didn’t make sense even in her own ears. Cold lips sucked her neck gently as the frosty fingers shoved the lace of her panties aside, slipping to the dewy depths. Yuriko whined from the sudden sensation, for the freezing digits sent flaring ice through her entire body. 

“S-so… cold!”

“Do not fear my cool touch. I will make you burn in no time,” Ruki whispered against Yuriko’s neck, sucking skin once more. His tongue traced the column as if tasting it while a finger pressed against the tight entrance to the realms no one else had entered before. Ruki’s thumb found its way to the already throbbing pearl, once again a place no other fingers but Yuriko’s own had played around. He circled it without hurry, yet managed to push a moan between her quivering lips. Her hips rose instinctively to meet the fondling feeling, and as they did, the finger at her entrance sank slightly in, making her whimper.

“Oh my gosh!” Yuriko’s legs tensed from the foreign touch. If only he would have touched her more this way, but there was no way she could ask for that.

“Good girl, let me hear more of your shameless voice~” The whisper vibrated on Yuriko’s skin as the thumb started to rub her pearl and the other finger dipped in again, gliding in without any trouble at all as the moist folds welcomed it. Her walls clenched around it, yet the sensation wasn’t unpleasant; it felt slightly odd but at the same time a tingling, pleasurable flaring started to bud deep inside her. 

“Ruki…” Yuriko’s voice sounded odd in her own ears as her eyes locked with Ruki’s and his words vibrated through her. “Ruki… I… I…” It was so clear that he could feel how moist Yuriko was, damp and tight. It was hard even to breathe when his fingers brushed over her pearl and pushed past her inner boundaries like that. Her hips moved, and before she realized it, another tiny moan escaped her lips. The heat covered her all over, making her shudder. She averted her gaze but moved her hips again… and again. It didn’t ease the blaze in her; only made it worse. “I know I shouldn’t… I know it isn't decent… It’s not something good girls would… but I… I… umh… You make me… I have this feeling… I'm sorry… I know I'm not good… that I'm not worthy… I have no idea why… but you have awakened something in me and I can’t deny it.”

There was something new in Ruki’s gaze as his eyes bored into Yuriko’s. “Stop talking nonsense. I do not want to hear words like 'you're not worth it' ever again. Don't think so much. Enjoy the moment. Accept the feelings. Don't doubt. Don't fear. Give yourself to me. I will make you feel so good.”

Don’t think? But –! Accept… the feelings? No doubt…? No fear…? It’s not that easy, this is all new for me!

The finger glided in again, the burning coldness numbing everything else around Yuriko. Ruki’s thumb caressed her pearl with slow movements as if testing how much she could take before asking for more.

“I will prepare you well so that you can take your master completely.” With a small slippery sound, another finger slipped in, stretching Yuriko’s walls. The sensation was like an intrusion into the parts of her that had been unreachable to anyone else. While doing so, Ruki leaned even closer, catching her lips with his. His tongue slithered into her mouth, taking it in the same manner as his digits conquered her secret places. It was easy to see how all this would claim Yuriko for his. Her eyes closed she surrendered to the deep smooch, trying to let go of her whirling thoughts. Her doubts and fears. Ruki would treat her well, right?

“Show this face only to me. No one else can see you like this. I am the only one who is allowed to admire this expression of yours.” Ruki breathed his words on Yuriko’s lips before tracing her chin line down to her neck. He inhaled, rubbing the tip of his nose along the already blemished skin. The fangs scratched Yuriko’s neck once more, breaking the surface and making her heated life elixir run out, yet Ruki fished each valuable drop, not letting any of it go waste. 

Ruki’s low groans shivered against Yuriko’s throat, telling the truth of how much he must be enjoying this too. As his thumb pressed her pearl more, her legs twitched from the mix of pain and pleasure, her thigh rubbing onto something hard and throbbing.

“That is right. You can feel what you are doing to me right now; I’m getting hard just because of you.” 

So huge… probably… Oh gosh, I can’t… What if…?

Ruki licked over the new bite mark he had inflicted on Yuriko, while another finger sneaked into her damp depths, stretching her even more. A tingle vibrated through her lower body, taking over everything, all she could feel was Ruki and his fingers doing this magic; whatever she had done alone couldn’t compare to this. Every cell of hers was on fire as she was on the brink of sobbing. Her tiny fingers squeezed his shirt as her muscles tensed, her insides clasped, and her toes curled. She squirmed in Ruki’s grasp.

Ruki’s thumb danced over Yuriko’s nub at an increasing pace, the pressure growing with its slide. The movement created friction that made Yuriko quiver all over. This was so different… so embarrassing, and yet she yearned for more. The touch forced her hips to move slightly as she tried to ask what she wished without wording the shameless thing out.  

“Take responsibility for seducing your master like this. Make it up and cum for me. Give me your everything.”

“Ehh! Ruki!”

Not being able to control it at all, Yuriko felt how her walls squeezed Ruki’s fingers that kept penetrating her, moving in and out. The thumb slid on her nub over and over again, making it impossible to think. The reason was slipping from her as Ruki continued. Slowly she was getting used to his rhythm, to this new sensation, whimpering in his arms.

“Cum for me, Yuriko. Cum for your master. Be a good girl and scream my name.”

Words were disappearing from Yuriko, both her own and Ruki’s as her breathing grew heavier. She was melting, turning into something jelly-like and yet tense like she was gradually losing control over her body. Wet noises mingling with the low moans made even her ears burn, but she couldn’t keep in the quivering sounds that left her lips either as the pace of digits escalated.

“Oh my gosh! Oh… my… gosh! Ruki! I can’t… ahhhh! Ruki, please…! Don’t… Don’t… oh my… don’t… stop! I… GOSH!”

Half crying Yuriko whimpered as Ruki send her mind flying. The room disappeared around them, all she could feel was him. The air was full of wailing moans that escaped her mouth when Ruki’s fingers pushed her over the edge. She didn’t know if she screamed his name or not, but she clung to him like there was no tomorrow and a few moments after collapsed on the couch, panting and shivering. Still, her inner places kept clenching around the cold fingers until Ruki slowly pulled them out.

As Ruki lift his hand between them and licked his fingers, Yuriko’s face flared but she couldn’t help but stare as she smelled the fragrance of the moistness.

This scent… Oh my gosh is it… ME? Why am I smelli–

“Good girl, you did so well.”

“...umh…” Yuriko tried to gather her breath. Her mind was still filled with hazy clouds, her cheeks burning and her heart bouncing in her chest. Somehow, she was both tense and relaxed, still, there was this scorching feeling of how she shouldn’t behave like this. This indecently. Yet… Ruki… He had praised her; had told her she was a good girl.

“I want to make you completely mine. I don't want to share you with anyone else. I want you all to myself. I ask you one last time. Are you ready to give up everything and devote yourself to me? Do you really want me to make you mine?”

The words lingered in the otherwise silent library. A tiny gasp pushed past Yuriko’s lips as she nodded.

“I need you to say it. Loud and clear.”

“I… I… want you to… you to… make me… yours.”

“Such a good girl. Now let me so me the pleasure you have not even dreamt of.”

Gently, Ruki lifted Yuriko back into a sitting position and pushed the hoodie down her upper arms. She allowed him to move the piece of clothing and drop it onto the floor of the library. Next, he took the hem of her top and pulled that off. Gazing down, Yuriko saw how her breast rose and settled at the pace of heavy breathing, her hard nipples drawing against the lace.

Ruki’s index finger traced one of the buds through the fabric, making Yuriko gasp and pant as the strange sensation shot through her. Her breathing was turning heavy, her mind foggy, and strange tingling energy gathered deep within her.

“Relax and let me do this. I will make sure you enjoy every single moment.” Ruki leaned in, nibbling the hard bud as his hands traveled behind Yuriko’s back. Before she knew it, he had released the hooks of her bra. He pulled it down revealing the perky breasts with rosy, throbbing buds. With one hand he cupped one of them, caressing the tip with his thumb while kissing the other. Wet tongue teased the bud, and instinctively Yuriko reached for Ruki’s head, entwining her fingers with his hair and pressing him closer to her chest as her back arched from the waves of pleasure his touch sent through her body.

Sucking the nipple and toying with another, Ruki pushed Yuriko onto her back. Soon, his hand traced along her sides, grabbing the waistband of her skirt. With one swift movement, the piece of clothing ended up on the floor. For a moment, Yuriko felt a sudden need to wrap her arms around her body but the way Ruki laid his eyes on her shoved that thought away. The yearning in his eyes…

He wants me!

Ruki pulled off his own shirt, tossing it aside. His skin was a slightly darker shade than Yuriko’s yet still fair, his slender and wiry body was bliss to her eyes. Everything in him lured her in. Not that she had thought such things too many times or paid too much attention to anyone’s looks, but she honestly thought that the inside mattered more. It was so odd to feel this… interested… this fascinated by Ruki’s looks yet Yuriko couldn’t avert her gaze.

“You may touch me.” Ruki’s voice was hoarse as he whispered. “But you are not allowed to lay your fingers on my back. Is that clear?”

As Yuriko nodded, Ruki crawled back to her. Fingers trembling, she let them travel on his cold chest. They were so different, almost like the opposites to each other, but still, Yuriko felt like they were similar too; tangled with one another before they had truly known it. She wished to cherish every part of this young man over her.

Ruki leaned in, capturing Yuriko’s lips once more and almost stealing her breath away with the deepness of his kiss while his hand explored and caressed every accessible inch of her body. Gradually, Ruki made his way down Yuriko’s chin, neck, and upper body, letting his tongue glide over her soft skin. As his lips reached her sensitive mounds she arched her back, unable to hide cries of bliss that bubbled out between her lips. Cold yet gentle hands ran along her sides when Ruki took his time pampering her buds. For a brief moment, he let go of her, only to take off her panties. Stormy blue eyes caught teal ones as deft fingers exposed the most sensitive spot of the already whimpering young woman. When the panties landed on the floor Ruki took this opportunity to leave a trail of kisses on her thigh. When he reached the inside, he inhaled deeply, making Yuriko wonder if he could smell the same as her.

The scent of pure lust. That was the only term Yuriko could form in her hazy mind. Her breathing turned heavier, almost into a panting, and her heart kept bouncing.

"I know you are nervous. But try to calm down a little." But the whisper was in vain as Ruki pressed his hips against Yuriko’s, letting her feel how hard he already was.

This time Yuriko knew she would soon feel much more of that solid shaft that turned her insides into a wet swamp. Her face flared but before she had even realized it she had already lifted her hips a little to meet Ruki’s.

Yuriko shuddered, shaking inside. Her muscles were tense but at the moment she felt like there was no tomorrow, there was nothing. Nothing but this young man holding her and making her feel more alive than ever. The sensation was overwhelming, pushing her somewhere she had never gone before but her body reacted to every gentle touch, opening for him and for him only. She spread her legs a little more, raising her hips to meet his again.

“Umh… I… you… please…” Closing her eyes, Yuriko squirmed as whining series of moans left her. Mustering words out was too much as hazy clouds covered her mind. Her back arched, and she grabbed Ruki’s shoulders, digging her fingertips into his skin as if asking for more. “Please, please, please… I… umh… Ruki… please… all… of you…”

"That's right. Beg your master. That's exactly what I wanted to hear. Good girl~" Ruki kissed Yuriko with icy lips that eased the burning on hers. 

He is using those words again: master and a good girl. That must mean… This is how I’m expected to behave, this is what makes him care for me even more…

Ruki reached in between them, and as Yuriko peeked, she could see him unzipping his pants which soon flew on the floor along with the tightly fitting boxers, releasing Ruki’s… manhood in front of her eyes. 

“Wait for a moment, will you?” Ruki reached for his pants, pulling something out of his pocket. “Soon, I’ll give you what you yearn for.” 

Yuriko blinked as she saw the tiny package; she hadn’t thought about this at all! A tiny voice in the back of her head reminded her that she should have said something about this matter but even now the words were sliding from her, leaving her mouth slightly hanging open without a voice as her focus was high speeding to something else than to the choice of protection.

So huge…

Yuriko swallowed as she stared at how Ruki rolled the condom on his hardness. Would that truly fit inside her? It was impossible to imagine, yet she didn’t want to back down. She couldn’t quite explain it but there was this flaring in her, a craving she had never felt before like Ruki was all she needed at the moment. 

The rubber grind over Yuriko's belly as Ruki lay over her, placing his forearms beside her head. His kiss was gentle but even that couldn’t fully shove away tenseness from her, yet his smile melted her heart. Never had a man given her such a tender smile so full of warmth, even the ice had disappeared from his eyes which were clouded. The look in his eyes described the fluttering sensation deep down in Yuriko too. Maybe that feeling… that sweltering lust was glimmering in her eyes too.

“Don't be afraid. Relax and enjoy our union.” Ruki breathed on Yuriko’s lips as he spread her legs further apart. “I'm very careful and as gentle as I can. You can always tell me to stop. If it gets too much for you, I'll pull out right away.”

“I… try my… best…” Yuriko’s voice was nothing more than a quavering whisper mostly muffled by Ruki’s next soft kiss that caressed her lips. She could already feel how her insides squeezed, tensing all over. How was it even possible to relax in a moment like this? Ruki’s fingers brushed Yuriko’s hair while his other hand slid between them as he helped himself to close her throbbing heat. The touch of his tip made Yuriko stiffen even more than she had believed to be possible.

“Become mine…”

Become his? Yes… that’s all I want. To be his, to belong to him… But the thought wasn’t enough to unwind the tension in Yuriko as Ruki slowly pushed his hard member deep in her moistness, stretching her in a way his fingers couldn’t have matched. Her walls clenched around him as if trying to deny this foreign intrusion, and a sharp pain pierced her lower body. Just briefly but noticeable enough to make her gasp and whine. Yet inch by inch Ruki pushed past her boundaries, conquering the realms no one had entered before him. 

"I will shape you so that no other man will ever be able to satisfy you." At the same moment, as Ruki stopped, his remark rumbled in Yuriko’s ears.

Shape me? How…? Yuriko opened her mouth, but nothing came out; there was an emptiness in her mind as she tried to comprehend. Ruki buried his face in her chest muttering something that didn’t quite reach her. When he lifted his face again, the apology lingered between them both in his eyes and on his lips. But once again, before Yuriko had a chance to form a proper sentence, Ruki’s mouth was on hers, pulling her into a tender and soft smooch, the polar opposite of his earlier sayings.

“Are you all right? Everything okay?” Ruki’s lips moved on Yuriko’s neck along with his questions, trembling like he would have difficulties keeping calm.

“I… I’m okay…”

It doesn’t hurt anymore, at least for now when he isn’t moving. He feels so enormous… I don’t know what to think… Like… am I his now? Just like that because he is… in me like this? But he said he has to… he has to climax, right? And then bite me? 

A sigh left Yuriko’s lips as Ruki showered her neck with kisses that pushed away her whirling thoughts. She closed her eyes and let herself drown in the sensation that tingled through her. This warmth and softness were something she would never get bored of, something she would always yearn for… If making love was like this, she would surrender completely to Ruki’s care. She opened her eyes slowly, meeting his clouded gaze.

“You’re doing so well, I’m proud of you. When you're ready, say so. Only then will I go ahead and start moving slowly.”

He is proud of me…? It just feels so strange, like there is something extra in me! Oh gosh, it is exactly like that… but it’s Ruki! Part of him is in me… we have become one in this way. Yuriko blinked as the flow of thoughts filled her mind again, but not even that could suppress the sensation that slowly took over her body. “Umh… it’s… it’s okay to move… now.”

“If it becomes too much for you, I'll stop immediately. You just have to say it then..." Ruki slowly withdrew his hardness a little bit, growling against Yuriko's neck. As he slowly pushed into her again, Yuriko was sure her insides would crush him. 

“Fuck…” A soft moan slipped out between Ruki’s lips. “Nng! You feel so good…” Gripping Yuriko’s shoulders tightly, blue-gray eyes bored deep into Yuriko's. Once again, Ruki pulled back a bit, only to be immersed in her once more.

Eyes locked with Ruki’s; Yuriko could barely breathe. Ruki withdrew a bit and then pushed his hardness slowly back in, stretching her walls all over again. A long quivering moan left her lips unintentionally, washing her cheeks with even more intense heat. Never she had thought she could make such a noise.

“Oh my gosh!”

But Yuriko wasn’t the only one. Ruki’s soft sounds reached her ears, forcing even them to burn. His voice gave jolts to her stomach, turned the fire in her into a fiercer pyre, and made her heat clasp his length even tighter.

After more careful movements, Ruki found a steady rhythm. He caught Yuriko's lips. A gentle smooch quickly turned into pure passion. Again and again, Ruki poked carefully, yet deeply into the innocence that now belonged to him. While his grasp of her was harsh, Yuriko felt safe when he held her shoulders and moved steadily in and out. There was no escape now, no way to back down as she sank into this new sensation that tingled all over her. It wasn’t only his tender thrusts; it was something more as if a new world had been opened and she was filled not only by his stiff member but with energy that radiated between them. Any book she had read had never talked about anything like this, but it felt like Ruki had surrendered his very soul as he was making her his possession.

Like our… very inner beings are… entwining. Is this…? This must be… how it should feel like… I’ve never felt this good in my entire life…

A dominant tongue explored Yuriko’s cave as Ruki imprisoned her in a deep smooch. The kiss pulled Yuriko deeper into the whirlpool of feelings and stunning sensations. While her body started slowly to adjust to Ruki’s movements, her mind was filled with cloudy, tickling lust that made everything else fade. Right now, there wasn’t anything or anyone else than Ruki in her world. Instinctively she wrapped her legs around his waist as if holding him ever closer, her hips rose to meet his and she moaned into the passioned, all-consuming kiss, gasping for air whenever possible. Her tiny fingers grabbed his shoulders, squeezing his skin with every shove of his member. It was as if their bodies had truly become one, moving together toward… Yuriko didn’t know what, but she drowned in blue-gray stormy eyes and took in everything. The physical pleasure made her toes curl but the other thing… the one she couldn’t name consumed her mind, painting small stars into her field of vision, fulfilling her mind with a different kind of ecstasy.

Letting Yuriko catch her breath, Ruki covered her neck and shoulders with damp kisses without interrupting the dance of his hips. As his fangs suddenly penetrated deep into Yuriko’s shoulder, making her whine loudly as the pain covered the ecstasy pushing it aside. She whimpered and squirmed, not being able to tell where the pain started, and pleasure ended or the other way around. As Ruki pulled his teeth out and licked the wound Yuriko’s mind was nothing but a hazy mess of sensations. She heard Ruki saying something, but the words didn’t reach her anymore.

“I… I… I belong… uhhmm… to you… now… right?” Not sure if the question had truly come out of her mouth, Yuriko whined again as Ruki’s pace kept increasing. She didn’t have control over her body that moved along with his, her legs pressing his butt slightly as her hips raised at an unsteady pace as if she couldn’t get enough of his hardness. The cold lips danced on her skin, taking her mind away, the tingling ecstasy returning and taking over her once more, the burst of intoxicating energy she had never felt before until Ruki had taken her into this world of pure love and lust.

“Forgive me. Not just yet, but soon. Soon you’ll be mine.” The words lingered in the air as Ruki increased his pace. A little faster and harder now his manhood thrust into Yuriko's heat. He caressed every inch he could reach with his cold lips while, growling and moaning, he kept bouncing in and out. “I can't hold it back any longer... Yuriko... I... Haah...haah…”

Yuriko’s mind refused to comprehend Ruki’s words. Her fingernails dig into his nape as his pace fastened and hardened still. She was beyond the edge of understanding, moaning, almost crying as she was filled by him. Completely and so perfectly that nothing could ever compare to that. It was like she had become drunk from him, wanting more and more, evermore of this devouring desire.

“Ahhm… Ruki… Ruki… oh my… Ruki… gosh… I don’t… this… Oh my gosh!” Yuriko clenched around Ruki’s length faster than before, her whole body arching, mind flying toward the peak of unknown spiritual bliss as if he had made love with her mentally with the same intensity as physically. She screamed his name as he snuggled up to her, panting. His grip was tight. The vampire's hips circled as if he had lost control over his movements and again he shoved his shaft a little harder and faster into her depths. 

“Fuck! Yuriko! Haah...haah... Cum for me. Please...!” Uncontrollably, Ruki's hips swayed and made the couch shake under them. His shaking vibrated into Yuriko’s muscles, squeezing trembles from her as if they had become one entity instead of separate ones. 

Only moans mixed with sobs came out from Yuriko’s mouth in response to Ruki’s demand.

“Fuck... I can't…”Groaning loudly, Ruki squeezed his eyes shut, burying his face against Yuriko’s neck. The young man shook all over. He stiffened over her, and in that very same moment, he sank his fangs into the tender flesh, breaking the skin and drawing blood. The pain was sharp but still numbed by the enjoyment of their union, for now, it was truly happening. While whining from soreness, Yuriko felt the pulsation against her now sensitive walls that still clench from the new sensation.

Gradually, Ruki relaxed again. He covered Yuriko's neck with featherlight, tiny kisses, making sure he sealed the wound he had just inflicted. 

Yuriko knew that something had shifted forever and there was no way to go back now. She had become a different… being? And that had nothing to do with the mysteries of her heritage. It had everything to do with Ruki and his wild demonstration of lust that tingled on her skin and formed an ache deep within her. The aching she wished to cherish was a sign of her transformation and devotion to the vampire she had fallen for.

I’m his. It has truly happened, and it means I won’t be alone ever again. He is going to keep me now. It’s perfect. A sigh danced on Yuriko’s lips. She licked them and just then Ruki’s lips made their way to hers, and he met her gaze. 

“You belong to me now. Without a doubt. You are mine.”

The kiss was the definitive seal for the deal. Yuriko had truly given her everything to Ruki. Her blood, her body, her innocence… and like this drowned once more in that feeling she had denied from herself. But it was too late to turn back anymore.

I still am not sure if he has this same feeling, if he wants more than blood… and sex… but I… This… It’s that forbidden feeling… I cannot escape. He either drags me back to that deep hell I once visited or lifts me to the other way… 

Please, let it be the other way…

Thanks: Special thanks to @ruki-mukami-dl for special help with this chapter~ I love you 💙

Also, thank you to @best-mukami for help with Kou and to @elizabeth-virnien for the help with Yuma.

[yutasbellybuttonpiercing]

Jeno

This is part of the NCT masturbation series

Word count: 853 words

Warnings: masturbation (obviously), porn, shibari (in the aforementioned porn), Yuta is not a good role model

“Jaemin, can I borrow your computer? Mine’s low on battery and I wanna play some games.” Jeno peeps his head into the living room where Jaemin sits, crossed-legged on the couch, playing on his phone as the TV plays a random K-drama in the background.

“Huh? Oh, yeah, sure” Jaemin answers, emerged in the comment section of a post, watching two strangers argue. Jeno smiles and leaves, quickly walking back into Jaemin’s and his shared bedroom, where he grabs Jaemin’s laptop from the dresser (what was his laptop doing on a dresser?) and sat down on his bed with the laptop in his lap. He opens it and-

Shuts it quickly. He feels heat rise into his cheeks as he blushes at what he’d just seen. He gulps, his curiosity getting ahold of him as he opens the laptop a second time – this time very slowly – investigating the last thing Jaemin has watched. There is a lady, bound in shibari, her pussy full on display as two pairs of hands grab at her body, especially in between her legs. Jeno is shocked, eyes bulging out of their sockets at the highly erotic imagine that is presented to him.

At the same time, the door flies open. Jaemin enters, a fearful expression on his face that fades into a perverted smirk as he sees that Jeno has already found out about his little secret. Jeno looks flustered, cheeks all pink from embarrassment as his eyes wander over to Jaemin questioningly.

“Jaemin, why-“

“Do you like it? It’s Japanese porn I got from Yuta.” Jaemin hurries to sit next to Jeno on the bed, nudging him to scoot over a little before he takes the laptop from him. Jeno doesn’t know how to respond, but he doesn’t have to since Jaemin decides to play the full video from the beginning on. Jeno, opens his mouth to protest, but if he’s being honest, he’s interested. He wants to see what happens to the girl. He wants to see her cum.

Time flies by as the two of them watch the porn video, the girl moaning in a high pitched voice as her pussy gets fingered roughly while she’s not able to move away from the pleasure. And after the screen shows the symbol of a circling arrow on black background, Jeno is thankful that he’s wearing black pants and a long shirt because as much as he hates to admit it, he was turned on by the video.

“What did you think, hyung?” Jaemin grins at Jeno, who suddenly has a dry mouth and a lump in his throat so he just asks him “Isn’t that illegal?” but Jaemin tells him, no one has to know and that he’s willing to share his collection of three videos with his hyung, before he winks and leaves the room and a flustered Jeno.

Suddenly, Jeno isn’t interested in gaming anymore. All he wants is to go to bed and sleep and forget that he’s seen two men (with surprisingly very attractive hands) completely wreck a beautiful girl. He can’t believe Jaemin has this stored on his laptop and – that’s the worst part – just casually shown it to him. That’s why he hurries to take a quick shower, as cold as possible without freezing to death, and slipping under the covers of his bed. But then it hits him.

It happened right here. He might sound a bit dramatic, but all his life he’s stayed innocent. Every time some kid in his friend group had bragged about having seen a tiddy and how he was willing to show it to everybody else too, he had just smiled and refused. He never understood why porn was so appealing to people. Sure it was people engaging in sexual actions, but everybody knows that none of it compares to real life. And when Jeno masturbates, rarely, but not never, he wants to imagine things and get caught up in the feeling, not just watch someone fuck.

That’s why he is shocked to feel that his boner from earlier still hadn’t gone away. And it also feels dirty and kind of wrong when he wraps a hand around himself, beginning to stroke his cock almos involuntarily as his mind wanders back to the girl. Her pink lips that were smeared with her own saliva, her eyes glassy from lust, and especially her throbbing pussy as she came several times from the hands of the two men. Jeno imagines it’s him bringing her to orgasm, making her scream and whine and moan and cry from lust and overstimulation. He bites his lip to keep quiet, only letting out low, muffled grunts as he feels his orgasm approaching.

He is surprised by how quickly he cums as his balls tighten and his cums spurts out over his fingers and he slowly strokes himself through his high. Maybe, porn wasn’t so bad after all. Still, Jeno decides to stay away from it, though he is thankful for the inspiration for his late night shenanigans as he imagines to make someone else cum for his own pleasure.

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