#orgasms have been called le petite morte or the little death

[youremyheaven]

The 8h in Astrology💀🦇✨

(this can apply to both tropical and vedic placement of 8th house because regardless of the system employed, the energy felt and experienced is the same :-)

The 8h is perhaps the most mysterious house in astrology and is most commonly associated with sex, death and unexpected events. Its also related to one's longevity, wealth, debts, transformation etc

It is a very misunderstood house, so I thought I'd make a post analysing it and shedding light on its nature<3

8h is connected to finances, occult, revenge, taboos and fears.

Sex, death and transformation form the core of 8h (scorpio). These are very Scorpionic themes and we must understand why. I had already explained how sex and death are interrelated and kind of go hand in hand. Sex and death are similar in the sense that they both offer release from life; the former temporarily and the latter permanently 💀 and when there's talk of sex and death, there is bound to be talk of transformation because both of these are deeply transformative activities.

It is interesting that a water house, like the 8h rules over sex because water is an element that absorbs things quickly. Sex can be best understood as a transfer of energy between two people; this is why sometimes with certain people, sex can feel very draining and post-coitus, many people describe feeling melancholic. Water is the most emotional element because, unlike other elements, it's in the nature of water to merge itself, like rivers merging with the sea; union is essential because water by design flows from itself to eventually reach the ocean.

Each water sign expresses this emotional depth differently but it is at its height in Scorpio which is generally understood as a very "intense sign".

Scorpio is known for its highly sexual nature but it's very rare to see a Scorpio enjoy casual sex (unless they have other placements that encourage it). This is because they deeply crave emotional connection and emotional intimacy.

It is why it's advised to be selective about one's sexual partners; because sex can have a profound impact on one's spiritual energy and cannot be considered a purely physical activity. it's possible for one to be disconnected from their emotions but being intimate with someone is not an un-emotional act by nature since sex is ruled by the water sign of Scorpio/8h.

In French, an orgasm is called "le petit mort" or "little death" and its safe to say that sex & death are closely associated in many cultures.

there is a reason why sex, fears, trauma, taboos are all 8h topics. if you've ever come across someone who naturally exhibits a very potent, magnetic sexual energy and aura, 8/10 times they've lived very messed up lives or come from a home that was less than ideal. this is because sexuality is inherently dark and shadow-y; someone who has a very potent sexual aura can easily intimidate others; they're bound to have a very unsettling effect on others; this is because we unconsciously pick up on the fact that they've been through things we can't imagine. they project things we fear. historically sex symbols have always come from really abusive families, have terrible relationships with their father, usually had to bear their mother's emotional burdens, they've most likely had a string of bad relationships and likely suffered abuse. why is this? whatever we project on the outside is a reflection of what goes on within us.

There is a reason why most people say Old Hollywood actresses were so much more unique and better than the current lot. Not only did they have a distinct persona but they each reflected it energetically. True raw sexuality always points to darkness lurking underneath; this is what makes us curious about them, what draws us in and what makes their presence so intense; like they suck up the air around them.

Most celebs today are beautiful on the outside and possess every feature it takes to be "sexy" but they do not have sex appeal. They lack presence.

(I went off on a tangent lmao, anywayyyyys)

8h is connected to transformation. Birth and death are two of the most fundamentally transformative experiences, not just for the people undergoing it but also for everyone in their lives. In our lives, we also experience ego deaths and spiritual re-births, so we live and die many times before we actually die. Sex too is an activity that is supercharged with transformative potential. There is a reason why sex is performed ritualistically in many occult initiation ceremonies and why Tantra is so heavily associated with sex that it is practically only known as some kind of crazy yogic sex thing. Sex opens up an energetic channel, a doorway so to speak, that allows for new energy to be invited in. There is a reason why many creatives consider their partners to be their muses (although its not necessary for a muse to be their sexual partner; i will get into this in more depth in a future post).

the 8h is connected to unexpected events because by nature we cannot predict either birth or death. we can come up with a tentative time frame but it's not possible to conclusively say someone will die/be born at this specific time. 8h governs all matters that are unexpected; positive and negative. life can turn on a dime. you can go from rags to riches over night but you can also lose your empire in minutes. 8h transits bring about crazy transformative experiences and depending on your placements and aspects, create a lot of emotional turbulence as well.

I have noticed that many 8h natives tend to be heavy sleepers whereas 12h natives often struggle with insomnia.

8h is connected to both wealth/finances as well as debts. This comes down to the fact that the 8h is connected to transformation. Our resources/money is a significator of our karma (in spirituality karma means actions) and therefore they are always undergoing change. There are certain aspects of our life we cannot change (where we are born, who we are born to etc) but our finances are up to us to change and transform. Its interesting that the 8h is linked to loans, debts etc. and not just accumulating wealth. An afflicted 8h can show someone who has a lot of debts or an inability to keep hold of money.

8h is also related to what is kept hidden or secret and finances/debts are usually the things that people are extremely private about (so are other 8h activities like sex and death).

Wherever you have your 8h, you're probably better off keeping those matters very low-key and private because its easy to attract evil eye.

the reason 8h is also associated with revenge is because it represents our shadow side, its the 8th house from the 1st house of self/ego, so it represents what we keep hidden/our shadow. The reason why we feel so triggered by certain people is because they project our shadow (in the Jungian sense of the term). If we ever hate some people for no reason, there is a HIGH chance that our 8h placements are present in their chart.

8h synastry can create some of the most toxic relationships and lead to a lot of purging and projecting on to each other. This is never good for long term relationships.

This is also why 8h is connected to fears. Our fears are usually subconscious and hidden from others and even from our conscious selves. This is again why its also connected to taboos. The 8h essentially covers all that lies underneath the surface.

"A human being is a part of the whole, called by us “Universe”, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest — a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. Nobody is able to achieve this completely, but the striving for such achievement is in itself a part of the liberation and a foundation for inner security."- Albert Einstein (Jyeshta Moon) 8h

its very common for 8h natives to feel trapped or stuck in their circumstances. being "caged in" is a very definitive 8h experience.

In Tibetan Buddhism, the concept of "Bardo" is present. It is the intermediate, transitional or liminal state between death and re-birth. This need not refer to literal death and re-birth of course.

The experience of Bardo is transcendental, allowing an individual to experience reality in the clearest way possible but it can also be terrifying. It is an opportunity for liberation but it can also prove to be dangerous as one experiences hallucinations based on their karma.

Bardo can be experienced during times when the usual way of life is interrupted, such as during the course of illness, during meditation etc. Such times can prove fruitful for spiritual progress because external constraints diminish. However, they can also present challenges because it can also make us impulsive.

8h transits can often feel this way and having 8h placements itself can feel this way; you're capable of immense spiritual depth but also of causing so much trouble and sometimes its impossible to separate the two.

8h natives could be heavy sleepers or struggle with insomnia (this is more 12h imo)

8h transits are often connected to death 💀 and the 8h placement can provide significant clues about one's lifespan, nature of death etc

“Whoever loves becomes humble. Those who love have , so to speak pawned a part of their narcissism.”― Sigmund Freud (Moon in 8h)

8h natives experience a riptide of emotions but are unable to channel it effectively. They are not the best at expressing how they feel verbally. The reason why Moon is debilitated in Scorpio is because these natives are unable to express how they feel and unable to receive energy in the same way as Cancerian natives (Moon rules Cancer) this is not due to any other reason but that these natives have such a vast reservoir of emotions and such depth that it's almost too much for them to process and grasp emotions in a nonchalant way.

“The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them -- words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they're brought out. But it's more than that, isn't it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you've said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That's the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller but for want of an understanding ear.”― Stephen King (Jyeshta Moon/Moon in Scorpio)

8h in an earth sign could signify dying of old age, 8h aspecting neptune/uranus/pluto could signify unnatural death, 8h in fire signs could point to violence/accidents.

since the 8h is connected to the subconscious realm, its also linked to psychology, magic and secrets. magic involves tricking the mind into believing something is real when it's not, it's a very 8h activity.

the subconscious also stores our secrets which is why its connected to hate and revenge.

the natural ruling planet of 8h is Saturn and Saturn stands for discipline, justice, karma and time. in life we get what we give (this is also a sexual principle) and this explains the connection between 8h and sex, as well as 8h and saturn.

ultimately scorpio's waters represent that which we hide, be it desire, fear, traumas or taboos.

in vedic astrology, scorpio is exalted in ketu whereas rahu is exalted in taurus (the opposite sign of scorpio is taurus). the fact that ketu is the tail of the dragon with no physical form of its own and that its exalted in a water sign is very telling.

"Ketu signifies the spiritual process of the refinement of materialisation to the spirit and is considered both malefic and benefic, as it causes sorrow and loss, and yet simultaneously turns the individual to God. In other words, it causes material loss to force a more spiritual outlook in the person." (this is from wiki)

I would say Scorpio/8h can be described very similarly. experiencing loss is a big theme in the life of an 8h native. its very easy for 8h natives to give into drugs, other substances and live a very hardened life. its through experiencing loss and heartbreak that an 8h native can break through the cycle and seek spirituality because the 8h is innately connected to the spiritual realm.

these natives can veer between either extremes, i.e, they can be alcoholics/addicts, never experiencing true love/meaningful relationships but through pain, a divine channel opens up and many reform their ways for the better. because an evolved 8h native is capable of profoundly deep intimacy and are the most loyal and protective of companions/partners/friends.

its hard for these natives to find stability and most 8h natives are naturally guarded people, suspicious of others and their intentions which makes them true blue introverts.

🌹true romantics deep down, these natives desire love profoundly but feel unable to express it adequately. if your partner is an 8h native, they'll remember all your likes and dislikes, every little thing about you, pick up on your habits and preferences but they'll seldom verbally gas you up or be affectionate. they're more covert with their love.

being extremely mysterious, many 8h natives could have a not so good reputation. people perceive them in ways that are far removed from who they are. they could also have many secret admirers.

symbolised by the scorpion, a fiercely guarded creature that is intelligent, defensive, dangerous and ruthless to its enemies, 8h natives imbibe quite a few of these traits. they are so defensive because they feel like they have to protect themselves. being a water sign, they absorb things easily and this pollutes their energy.

they're the kindest people underneath it all<33

[whatevertheywant]

Can we talk about the symbolism of them clumsily smashing the jars of cherries during the Pantry Scene???? Poetic fucking cinema

[yournameoverandover]

FOLKLORE: 1st Listen

1. The 1 - “I’m on some new shit” Love the production ooooo..... “If you never bleed then you’re never gonna grow.” Why does this remind me of HAYLOR?!?!!? Omg my heart. “It woulda been fun if you woulda been the one” Wow!!!!!! “And if my wishes came true it woulda been you” Wowowowowow!!!!!! WHAT AN OPENER

2. Cardigan - High heels on cobblestones what an IMAGE. I love her range here omg. “Baby kiss it better, Iiiiiiiii” I LOVE the breathiness of it. A friend to all is a friend to none, you tell em girl!!!! This song is so COZY I just feel like war, and soft listening to it. So much piano. “You drew stars around my scars but now I’m bleeding.” So softttt “Leaving like a father” 🥺🥺🥺 “These hands had to let it go free and this love came back to me// I knew you’d come back to me”

3. The last great American dynasty - Ok I was not excited for this one. The initial synth is interesting. Rebecca who tf is Rebecca? Saint Louis and Bill? This is specific.... Hmmmm okay I see a trend of blaming women. THE RHODE ISLAND SET HOLLA!!!! Dali?! Hmmm maddest, shameless now... What’s the twist in the bridge tell me? OMG IS THAT HER HOUSE!!! AHHHHHHH YES OMG!!!!! Loudest yessss! LITERALLY A SOMG ABOUT HER HOUSE I CANT. I like this chorus so much

4. Exile - I’m stoked for this one. Mucho piano. Omgggggg the vocals well done Bon Iver!!!!! “You’re not my homeland anymore” BROKEN HEART. “Now I’m in exile seeing you out.” There’s the title... Balancing on breaking branches :( “I’m not your problem anymore, so who am I offending now.” Awww “you were my crown” proceeds the exile line, that’s so sad and beautiful like THEY WERE ROYALTY IN LOVE. I love this interplay of perspectives holy shit this bridge. Her voice is so delicate and his is so strong they are just CHEFS KISS together!!!!! Like sneaking out a movie theater? This album is PERFECT for midnight release. I am obsessed with the ending of this song OMG. J’adore.

5. My tears ricochet - Ok time for track five I am not ready. Ooo floaty vocals me gusta. Omg it’s like a wake?? I love how she says loved you, cause I loved you. It’s almost British. Oooo SAVING FACE BURN GIRL. “You know I didn’t want to have to haunt you.” This is so prettyyyyyyyyy. It’s like Clean gets a whole album! “Just not home”. “Miss me in your bones.” “Stolen lullabies” THESE IMAGES LIKE WHAT. Not sure where the title fits in with the other story like if she’s dead how is she crying? Does he just not really care? Is he a robot? Hm. Much to think about

6. Mirrorball - TRACK 6 mirrorball. PLEASE be about the outfit to end all outfits! Kidding. Definitely not lol. This sounds like a middle school slow dance song.... shining just for you 😍 definitely a middle school slow dance song. “I can change everything about me to fit in.” Ouch Taylor. This is like the softest thing and also the saddest thing how she feels she has to try to keep his attention the whole time. I wasn’t expecting it to be sad?!

7. Seven - Aptly named seven. Ok we’re not waiting here let’s go. This has a little strummy country vibe? “Are there still beautiful things” powerful question. “Passed down like folk songs, the love lasts so long”. This feels like a song about her childhood. I really like this melody. It’s so gentle and pretty 😍

8. August - {WOW APPLE MUSIC WAY TO CATCH UP WITH THE FUCKING WORLD I HATE YOU. Okay we’re back!!!} Salt air?! I already love it. And rusty doors. Yes. Okay my birthday feels safe. “August sipped away like a bottle of wine cause you were never mine”🥺. Wait this is like happy retrospective WHEN WE WERE STILL CHANGING FOR THE BETTER, FOR ME IT WAS ENOUGH TO LIVE FOR THE HOPE OF IT ALL. “I can see us lost in a memory, august slipped away in a memory, cause it was never mine” this is so freaking ethereal and pretty. And she is repeating the hope of it all?! Inject this directly into my veins ughhhhh

9. This is me trying - “I didn’t know if you’d care if I came back” I love how she has all these images of bumbling and fumbling and puts it next to her saying she is trying, working on that communication. “I got wasted like all my potential. My words shoot to kill when I’m bad” Wait I have so many amazing lyrics I can’t even keep up with it what is happening. “It’s hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is you”

10. Illicit affairs - curious about this title???? What’s going to happen. Oooo a sneaky love thing going on. “Clandestine meetings and longing stares”. LITTLE DEATH TAYLOR SWIFT I SEE YOU LE PETIT MORT. “Dwindling mercurial high”?! Damn girl!!! Ooo okay no more orgasm things, just about lies now. Death to lies. “You showed me colors I can’t see with anyone else” “you taught me secret language I can’t speak with anyone else” Wait is it over?! The sudden endings WOW.

11. Invisible string - I keep hearing all these colors and all I can thing is RED. “Invisible string tying you to me”. I just LOVE all these pretty floating songs! “She said I look like an American singer” Omg I wonder if this is about her meeting joe IT IS IT IS THE DIVE BAR IS BACK. “One single thread of gold” ugh I love the running themes this woman uses! “Now I send their babies presents 😍” “hell was the journey but it brought me heaven” I LOVE THIS SONG OMG

12. Mad woman - I’ve been so curious about this OKAY!!!!!! TAYLOR SWIFT SAID FUCK IT HAPPENED. “Every time you call me crazy I get more crazy what about that?” “No one likes a mad woman YOU MADE HER LIKE THAT” OH MY GODDDDDD YES TELL THEM TAYLOR. “Doing your dirtiest work for you” holy SHIT Taylor this is scooter’s call out song and I LOVE THIS I LOVE THIS. “I’m taking my time because you took everything from me, watching you climb over people like me” I CANT KEEP UP TAYLOR THIS IS SO SHARP OMG and the dRUMS MY SOUL LEFT MY BODY

13. Epiphany - WHEW okay lots I’m still processing so epiphany whatcha got?! “Something med school did not cover, someone’s daughter, someone’s mother.” Omg aNOTHER HOSPITAL SONG SERIOUSLY Taylor baby no :((((( “you dream of some epiphany, just one single glimpse of relief to make some sense of what you’ve seen” I wonder if this is for nurses and caregivers?

14. Betty - oh HELLO harmonica!!!!! Is this one of the love triangle songs? TAYLOR SAID FUCK AGAIN TWICE IN ONE ALBUM! I WAS NOT EMOTIONALLY PREPARED FOR THIS!!!!! I like the melody in this though, it’s so pretty and it reminds me of her older stuff! WAIT FUCK IS IN THE CHORUS SO SHE’S SAYING IT A LOT AHHHHH. “A figment of my worst intentions” omgggggg what a great line?! Okay wait this has SO MANY CARDIGAN PARALLELS AT THE END THIS IS ONE OF THE THREE. SO IS CARDIGAN what is #3?!

15. Peace - interesting starting song hmmmmmmmm. Sounds more bluesy! “Our coming of age is come and gone.” So she can’t give peace- “I would die for you in secret, the devil’s in the details but you got a friend in me.” This song is really hitting a lot tbh. “It’s like I’m wasting your honor.” Taylor this is sad 🥺 “the rain is always gonna come if you’re standing with me”

16. Hoax - hOW are we already at the end?! I like the super gentle piano in the back. “Your faithless love’s the only hoax I believe in. Don’t want no other shade of blue but you.” She’s so vulnerable and this is really hard to listen to. Love was just as hard as when they pulled you apart?

Physical Album Update on (TBD)

1. The lakes

[perfectcreaturerarelyseen]

To Fall for the Fae | 01 (M)

Pairing: Andrew Hozier-Byrne/Unknown Female

Genre: Fanstasy, Modern, Romance, Smut, Fluff, Angst

Words: Chapter 1: 1,774

Summary: Andrew Hozier-Byrne unknowingly searches for the woman that pulled him from the bog 3,000 years ago. Unknown to either of them that in this modern world their souls are still intertwined from the life they shared long ago. She is unavailable, he’s not giving up. Will the woman that inspires his music be wooed by his songs or will he lose his chance? That’s Wasteland, Baby!

Note: A/N: This is a story requested by my best friend to be written about her favorite musician. I have been inspiried by his songs and specific lines. Any reference to his music is use in the name of inspiration and creating art. I do not own any of his music. Any reference to Hozier in this story is fictional and used by the author in the name of crafting art. I want to thank all who read it. I have fallen in love with this story and would love to hear from you. It will be written in installments. The finished story should be well over 50,000 words. Enjoy.

To Fall for the Fae

The death had not been simple. It had not been easy. It had not been painless.

He spent his last days wrapped in sweat soaked clothes. Flushed with a fever slowly ravishing his tall lithe body like a tree dying from rot. They could do nothing more than wait for the merciful inevitable end.

It was not a quiet death. He ranted, he raved, he howled like a feral wounded beast. Then there were times when he sang. He sang the sad sweet music he used to before the draw of sin consumed him. Back when his nimble fingers would pick out slow sensual chords that matched his words that could be harsh one moment then kind the next. He would spend his days serenading the empty air. The trees his only audience, his only love.

He cried out a name, begging for her. A woman. They had never heard him speak this name before. It left them no idea where to begin to search for her. Still in his delirium he begged for her. Offering his soul for the very chance to feel her cool hand brushing his wet hair limp with sweat from his brow.

His death had not been simple. His funeral had.

A pine box. A trip deep into the bog. The wet mud sucking at their shoes. Trying desperately to drag them down along with him. It was Andrew alone destined to become one with the place he had loved most. He was the only one that wet ground would accept. It longed for him.

They laid him down softly in the cold dark earth as the bog took no time to swallow him whole.

They were still left with the ringing of that name in their ears as they trudged away from his final resting place. Perhaps now in death his soul would find a way to crawl back to her.

They could hear her name even now. It ate away at their souls. The plants whispered his forgotten love’s name.

He died alone but not lonely.

Such is the fate of the fae.

Yet as they headed back home to the warmth of their houses they could her his lyrical voice calling one last time.

One word only.

That damnable name.

He whispered it.

“Madison”

OoOo

He rolled off her neither tired nor satisfied. She moaned. Her eyes still rolling into the back of her head as the le petit mort consumed her.

She had taken him to church of that there was no doubt. Still with the sedating buzz of the deathless death he felt hollow inside.

Dissatisfied.

She was a lovely girl. A classic beauty like a heroine from an old black and white flick.

She was everything a man could love.

However, he liked them wild. Untamed, With a soul like a bird that could never be caged.

He could see her then in his mind. Eyes like emerald pools. Reminding him of the rolling hills of Ireland. Of a life clinging to his mind even though he had been far from it for too long.

Her hair was long. Falling to below her waist in dark locks. The strands would be baby fine so he could run his fingers through them for days.

Her nails...her nails he could almost feel grazing his scalp as she’d try fruitlessly to finger comb the tangles from his hair.

Dark brown most times his hair with a trick of the light would turn to a shade like copper fire in the sun.

He could never see her full on. Just a profile. Her individual features. Then she would turn from him and walk out of his mind.

Her name would be on his lips. Whispered under his breath like a prayer to a deity that he didn’t believe in.

“Madison”

He saw her like this only after that sweet release. Perhaps that was why he tried desperately to find her in the women he bedded. He did it rarely. Never cheap. Never fake. For those moments he loved them. The weight of them in the arms he never used to hold her.

He was not loose nor did he consider these women to be either. There was romance always. Seduction. A fondness that could be mistaken for love. Instead he always felt restless. They weren’t her. They never were.

“Is everything alright?” She asks. He looked at her then through the flame of his lighter as the tip of his cigarette began to glow red.

For a moment this beautiful lass, her eyes dancing in the flames, could be her. Just for a moment.

Madisonhis subconscious mind whispered.


I wouldn’t know where to start. his conscious mind thought.

“Yes baby, of course.” He leaned over then and kissed her on the light flesh of her shoulder that peeked out from beneath the crisp white hotel sheets.

He pushed her from his mind and that was that.

OoOo

His fingers picked out the notes bit by bit.

It was 5 am and the city below him glowed on like a town on fire. Everyone was asleep but still those lights burned out the very glow of the stars above. Artificial blocked out the natural beauty. That’s the way of humans though wasn’t it?

The way of love too. You could fuck and mask it as making love all you wanted. Still she had groaned out “Baby...baby...baby” the whole time. As if she couldn’t even remember his name. It would have only been worse if she’d screamed “Hozier!” at that final peak of orgasm.

He’d convinced himself it was real, yet here he was bitter and unhappy on the roof of the hotel, guitar in hand, trying to get two women out of his mind. One a fantasy that would haunt him until the grave. The other asleep in his temporary bed, in this temporary home, in a city that would one day be swallowed back up by the earth. Then only then would nature have won over the fake. Perhaps if he was swallowed by the earth once again he would be free too. Free of her.

He always felt this way after. Always. It felt so good. That romance that seduction beforehand. Hands grazing each other across the table. Crooked smiles exchanged. Words, oh how the words wooed him.

Then the way they would kiss the skin that groaned from him. Play his body as expertly as he played the guitar. It felt good. It felt real.

After though he was bitter. Restless, dissatisfied, angry with himself.

Another girl. Another broken heart. Another attempt to get her out of his head. He could hardly stand it some times.

He allowed for just a moment his mind to drift to her and the words came easy. They always flowed from him like a language of babble spoken in tongues when he thought of her.

His fingers moved over the strings and he parted his lips letting the words slip from his mouth softly.

“Wasteland Baby...I’m in love...I’m in love with you...”

OoOo

“Love with every stranger, the stranger the better eh?” One of the roadies joked as Andrew descended the front steps of the hotel alone. Oh to be alone with you his thinking mind thought as his subconscious mind called her name.

Always, always searching for her. Never satisfied by the absence of her. It called out to her as if it could simply call her to him. It had been calling to her for 29 years and had yet to deliver.

He tried to not think about her by choice. Still the part of his subconscious that he had utterly no control of constantly called to her. Nonstop. Every moment. Every day.

Until he felt like his sanity was leaving him. The only time he felt sane was when he wrote his music. It was actually her music.

She was the muse that sent him the words. No true artist can create without a little tragedy. A little torture. A lot of torment.

“I know her middle name. Mother’s maiden name. Every school she went to plus the list of every pet she’s had over her lifetime. She was hardly a stranger.” Though now she feels like one he thought of their parting.

The throwing of things. The shattered lamp he’d have to pay for. He didn’t care about the cost. He simply felt if a lamp was going to be broken in one of his hotel rooms he'd rather it be in the middle of passion.

Slamming her back against the wall until the plaster cracked and rained down on them. Her foot as he slid inside twisting out in a spasm of pleasure knocking the cheap light fixture to the ground where it would shatter. A wave of moans creating a symphony soundtrack to the ripples of pure ecstasy flowing through them.

If he was with her that’s what it would be like.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to imply...” Andrew clasped the roadie on the back and offered him a wane smile.

“Don’t worry about it.” He was trying to prove more to himself than anyone else that it hadn’t been a meaningless pursuit to clear his head once again.

He ran a hand down his face and sighed.

“I think I could use a strong drink.” Andrew smiled at the thought of the cool liquid burning a hot path down his throat. He ran a finger through his tangled hair and looked quizzically at the guy.

“I know a bar a few blocks away. I don’t think anyone would recognize you there. Decent whiskey.” The guy shrugged apologetically at the last part.

“Tonight I’ll take decent over nothing.” They exchanged a knowing smile that imparted that silent unintelligible “guy” language that women would forever cease to understand.

He shrugged himself deeper into his denim jacket as they left the scene of that hotel with the room forever damned by the smell of sex with another woman that he was never meant to be with.

OoOo

A man like a tall tree stalked a path down the cool night streets of a city he only vaguely knew. His feet dragged. He was dead tired not from sleeplessness. No he dreamed of her every night. That alone lulled him happily to sleep. Instead it was the weariness of the day. The pain of facing the world alone in sea of adoring faces.

To be alone was the fate of the Fae. That is...until their path crosses with another of the winglessly winged figures...

[adacarisi]

Hi! I love your fics!! They're so great! May I request a fic in which Barba's girlfriend sends him nudes while he's at work?? Thanks!

ALWAYS MY DARLING! And thank you love! Just a reminder, I see your requests, I love them and I am working hard to get them out. Please be patient, I have very high standards for myself and my writing...HAH. Anyways thank you for reading and requesting, more posts soon to come. 

Needy. Were you needy? Perhaps…but with a boyfriend like Rafael Barba how could you not be. Jesus that man was like oxygen to you. The way he spoke, how he moved, and dear God why couldn’t that man dress more casual? Not that the casual dress helped your situation, he was equally if not more sexy dressed down. 

So ok fine. You were needy. It wouldn’t have been a problem if Rafael was a little needier too. But oh no, you were dating Mr. Control, Mr. Come when I say and not before. It was hot. It REALLY was. But you were suffering, and the only thoughts racing through your sinful head were how you could make him suffer too. 

He had recently bought you this truly darling number from some upscale boutique near Park Avenue. He was weak for it, he didn’t even bother to edge you, he couldn’t control himself at the sight of you begging for him, clad in so little lace. It wasn’t your style but seeing him so desperate and filled with desire was. 

You knew he was at work, he had stacks of briefs to go over and case reports to write. Rafael hadn’t been truly present with you for days, always coming to bed late, always too tired for the dates you had both planned weeks in advance. You knew what you signed up for, dating someone so important and in demand, but god be damned if you weren’t going to distract him. 

Putting on the very expensive lace, you primped yourself up just how he liked, nearly all natural, just a little red lipstick and a dash of mascara. 

You opened the blinds to your apartment and let the natural light pour in. You looked positively ravishing, hell, you might even fuck yourself you looked so good. 

Posing perfectly so you appeared naturally alluring but not too posed you snapped away, holding that look in your eyes that made his knees weak and his cock twitch.

No caption. Swoosh, swoosh, swoosh, swoosh, swoosh. Sent. Delivered. 

Good luck Rafael Barba, you thought to yourself as you flipped through the series of photos you had taken with a devilish smirk. 

Just his luck, he was walking out the courthouse door when he saw your name flash up on his phone. Probably just a ‘good luck in court’ text. He opened it and his mouth dropped. 

5 photos of you, each one progressively more revealing. Oh god. You were wearing the lingerie he had bought you. Fuck him, really fuck him. He could feel his cock begin to throb but he couldn’t stop looking at your photos. 

My god how had he gotten so lucky, you were perfect, so beautiful and clever. 

He needed to see you. Rafael took in a sharp inhale of cold air and looked around him. What excuses could he use? Did he even care? 

Rafael nearly sprinted down the courthouse steps, taking two at a time before basically swan diving into the first cab he saw. 

You heard his keys in the door only 15 minutes after you sent the photos. You licked your lips and laid on your stomach with your head resting lazily on your arms in a girlish pose. 

Rafael entered your apartment and dropped his briefcase immediately, not even bothering to remove his coat. 

“You impossible minx. What are you doing sending Daddy pictures like that when he’s at work.”

Ooooh. This should be fun. 

“Did you like them?” You teased kicking your legs up in the air as he approached the edge of your bed. 

He grabbed one of your hands and placed it hard against his painfully hard cock. Rafael briefly ground against your palm before speaking again. 

“What do you think?” He growled through gritted teeth.

“I don’t know, I’m going to need more evidence Counselor.” You traced the outline with a delicate fingertip before pulling at his zipper. 

He half chuckled before slowly unbuttoning the button above his zipper and pulling down his boxer briefs. 

“Mmmm…what’s got you so riled up Counselor? Or should I say who?” You were testing his patience but he let you have your little game. 

“I think you know babygirl.” He twitched as you finally raised your hand and touched him, feeling the heat of his cock warm your palm. 

“Come a little closer Daddy.” You ordered in a sultry falsetto. 

He moved closer allowing you to remain on your stomach as you pulled him into your mouth. Rafael nearly came from that, feeling your tongue stroke over his most sensitive spots that you knew so well. 

You let him pop free for a moment, watching his reaction closely. Rafael couldn’t have torn his gaze from you if he had wanted to. He was yours now and you intended to have your fun with him. 

You took him down again gagging as he hit the back of your throat. You relaxed and pushed him in further as the sounds of his strangled cries filled your bedroom. Sucking him even harder you moved your head around him, effectively fucking him with your mouth. 

He was close. You knew it, he knew it. He tried to hide it but you knew all his tells. You released him with a lewd pop. 

Rafael gave you a stern look through the panting and grumbles but you simply smiled before moving onto your knees. 

You grabbed his tie from beneath his coat and pulled at him, tactfully forcing him onto his back beneath you. Damn you were good. 

You rocked your center against his wet cock, teasing you both, torturing your bodies and minds. He looked so lost and so desperate, his eyes begged, wide and benevolent. You locked your lips with his finally kissing his lips for the first time that day, relishing in the taste of his tongue and the coffee that still lingered there. 

You reached between your bodies and readied him, raising your hips, prepared to sink down on him.

“Beg for me Rafael Barba. Beg.” You used your other hand to grab his jaw, not allowing him to look anywhere else. 

“No…” He almost whined despite trying to make his voice firm. 

You lowered slightly letting the tip of his cock taste you, just barely. 

“Beg.” You repeated, curious to see if he would pass your test. 

“….Oh god….No…” 

“Good boy.” And with that you sank down on him, taking him inside you almost painfully fast.

He gasped and cried from the shock as you squeezed around him, rocking your hips just the way he liked. 

“Rafael Barba you don’t beg for anyone you hear me? No one.” You ground against him hard making him did his fingertips into your ass and hips. 

“No one.” He repeated as he gave you a delicious look with half lidded eyes before you rose and fell on him again.

Rafael pressed his head back into your pillows in total ecstasy, lost in his own pleasure. You repeated your motions a few times before pulling him up by his tie to face you. 

Both of you barely breathing you moved your hips together, his still clothed, yours barely clad in lace panties you had long ago pushed to the side. You moaned and gasped as he thrust harder into you, gripping your hair with one hand and your hip with the other. 

Your lips were so close to his they were almost touching, you breathed in one another in short bursts and moans as you felt your skin begin to freeze and burn in unison. 

“Raf…”

“Come for me baby, come.” He moaned sweetly before biting your lower lip gently. 

You thrust forward once more before you fell apart, stiff and then totally limp as every muscle in your body simultaneously released. This was why the french call orgasms le petit morte. The little death. You felt yourself die as the pleasure overtook you, filling your veins with euphoria and bliss. Rafael sucked your neck with an open, wet mouth as he came inside you, snapping his hips upward as far as they could go. 

He clutched harder at your skin as he rode his climax out, moaning as you milked every last drop of him with the involuntary contractions now pulsing through your body. 

So were you needy? Yes. But Rafael Barba was too. And that made everything so much better. 

[sexydionysus]

Saturday Morning Escape

[Note: names have been changed]

I can’t believe I said yes. It was automatic, really. A reflex. Out of town friends asked if they could stay at my house, and of course I said yes. Didn’t matter that I had plans that weekend. Didn’t matter that I really wanted to say no. I did the nice thing and said yes. So late Friday night, a pair of headlights shined through my windows and I took a deep breath. ‘Bob and Carol are here,’ I lamented. ‘I gotta do something to make sure this weekend has a little excitement.’

I bet you think you know where this story is going? Well, you don’t. My house guests that weekend were, to put it politely, dolts. That’s probably too harsh; let’s leave it duldrom-inducing. That was going to be my weekend. But I had a plan. You see, I wasn’t going to let this weekend go to waste.

That’s why I told Mark a few weeks earlier that I was gonna need an early morning escape on Saturday. “Meet me at my office that Saturday morning. Anytime. I’ll help you forget the weekend,” he whispered into my ear as we lay in bed, our naked bodies still entwined from our passionate encounter earlier. 

So Saturday morning I quietly got up and threw on some clothes. I told my guests the night before that I had a doctor’s appointment and would be leaving, but I didn’t want to engage them this early. I had other plans; my mind was not in hostess mode. I’m not sure what I put on that day, but it didn’t matter: Mark thinks I’m beautiful no matter what, and it would soon end up on the floor regardless. 

I showed up at his office around 10 o’clock that morning. It was already warm and muggy out, the clouds replaced by a blue-gray haze in the sky. If I were correct, he would be waiting for me. Eager to get his hands on me. Eager to take charge of me. Sure enough, I walked up to a nondescript door in a nondescript office park, and it opened. There he was, just like I knew he would be. 

His office is masculine. Leather couch. Dark mahogany desk. Lot’s of earthtones. Even though it was a bright summer day, with his  door shut and the blinds drawn, we had a darkened romantic retreat. Since it was a Saturday, his office was closed and we had the building to ourselves. I guess others could have shown up, but it seemed like a distant possibility that, quite frankly, only added to my excitement. 

We got the niceties out of the way. How was your flight last night? Good. How are the house guests? Good. And so forth. 

And then we launched at each other. Our tongues led the attack, exploring each other like we hadn’t done this a hundred times before. He scratched his fingers through my scalp and pulled my mouth harder into his. His other hand was firmly pushing down the back of my panties and squeezing my ass. I was already wet.

Our clothes seemed to evaporate and seconds later I was laying on top of him on his couch. Knowing what I would do next, his fingers scratched slowly down my back. This caused me to involuntarily arch my back, putting my nipples right at his mouth. That’s what he wanted. He took both my breasts in his hands, squeezing the right nipple with his fingers and sucking my left nipple deeply into his mouth. There’s that moment of a perfect mix of surprise and excitement and pain when a nipple gets sucked. Sharp and warm and moist all at once. I swear I could have come right then and there, and I think that’s what he wanted. 

He pulled me up onto his face. My wet pussy engulfed him. I know he loves looking at my pussy -- my labia protruding and engorged and begging to be pleased. I could feel his tongue dance all over my clit. I could feel his hands exploring my ass. I could feel the wave of orgasm beginning, and it hit hard: I moaned his name as I squeezed my breasts and pushed my wet cunt onto his face as hard as I could. Le petit mort -- ‘the little death’ -- is what the French call orgasm, and I was ready to collapse on him once the surge of energy began to fade. 

And I did. I slid down onto his chest, grabbed his face, and kissed. I could taste me all over him, and that added to my satisfaction. You know what else added to my satisfaction? Feeling his hard cock on my leg. And feeling his hand push me down, grab my hair, and force himself into my mouth. 

“Oh, Mark,” I choked as his big dick filled my mouth. He was swollen and hard. He had shaved that day so the smooth skin of his balls under my tongue was nice. But it was the cock I wanted. Up and down my mouth went, and then I felt his hand on the back of my head. He pushed me deeper. His swollen member took up my entire mouth. He kept pushing. Saliva was dripping from my mouth getting his balls wet. He kept pushing. Choking sounds were coming out of me as this cock consumed me! That’s what did it for him, as he said my name he began to cum. 

A hot salty jet shot forth in my mouth. So much cum -- he rarely touches himself since we’ve been together, so I had a lot to swallow. But I sucked that cock and drank every last drop of his sweet nectar. Every muscle in his body tightened as the last trickle of semen made its way into my mouth. Then complete relaxation. I kept his softening member in my mouth for a few moments, then worked my way back up. We kissed passionately, my now warm and salty mouth being probed by his tongue, tasting himself and tasting us. 

The afterglow enveloped us for a while. Soon enough he was hard again, and I climbed on top. I fucked him hard and fucked him good. It felt amazing to see him cum again.

Unfortunately, the rest of my weekend was still ahead. I spent the rest of the day with Bob and Carol, feeling Mark drip out of me all day long -- my panties were drenched! Overall, I’ll have to say it was a pretty good weekend.