#other thoughts: i HATE HATE HATE this princess' dress SO fucking much. i though alfred's fucking panteloons were stupid

[orcelito]

I take back... SOME of my negativity about fe:engage. Now that I'm out of prolog hell I have decided the fun eclipses the annoyances. For now.

[period-dramallama]

episode 7 of becoming elizabeth review: live laugh lie

This episode felt so long. Easily my least favourite. Everyone was stupid or an asshole or a stupid asshole.

+ mention of archbishop... don’t even say his name?? How are we going to have Cranmer in season 2?? it’s going to be very Remember the New Guy

+ the Ambiguous Religion Preacher man is going to be burned in his clothes, that’s quite unusual. Usually it was in the shift. Y’know, cloth being expensive, it would a terrible waste to burn a whole doublet

+ My pyrophobia breathed a sigh of relief when it cut away from the burning... until they CUT RIGHT BACK TO IT. at least the fire looks fake.

+ they just call him ‘a dissenter’?? I assume they mean Anabaptist? Why not just say Anabaptist? 

+ Ed flipping through a book... gifted kid burnout

+ good to acknowledge Mary wasn’t the only monarch burning people. Anabaptists were burned during Edward’s reign, and 4 were burned in London in 1570 something. 

+ “I always liked your father” did you??

+ Stephen Gardiner worrying about ‘balance’ on the council and burning dissenters... Stephen Gardiner would not give a flying fuck if Protestants burn more radical Protestants. He’d be there with popcorn.

+ “we are going to make England great” I said “again” sarcastically and then Dudley said “...again” and I burst out laughing. Real subtle Anya. Love the nuanced commentary. Not since The Spanish Princess has a show been so subtle.

+ “a girl not yet 16 made fools out of all of us” did she though?? In history, yes. This show, not so much.

+ Another extra with no hood! Just stick a hood on her! This isn’t a crowd scene where everyone needs a hood so you crack out the crappy ones for the extras at the back.  

+ “he is the fucking king” love that that’s an in-universe meme.

+ This Elizabeth is not very good at reading between the lines. Why does she need everything spelled out for her?

+ Oliver’s facial expressions are the best. He can bring comedy to the most mundane lines. 

+ “I can’t do the crazy thing... Ok for you i will do the crazy thing” is an A+ dynamic.

+ “England’s not done with you yet” and now that’s some neat foreshadowing

+ “They burned a man in Whitehall” why does Gardiner care?? There’s nothing to imply he was Catholic. If he’s not Catholic, Gardiner wouldn’t give two shits. This is the guy who tried to bring down Katherine Parr for crying out loud!

+ “thought you’d seen enough of the Tower by now Stephen” hehehehehehe

+ then Girlboss Dudley throws Gardiner down the stairs!!

+ “do you need carrying” i wish the whole ep was just Dudley being mean to Gardiner. 

+ Henry Grey LITERALLY tells Jane to watch what she says around powerful people and then she just... doesn’t. babe.

+ the whole scene with Elizabeth and Jane....i hate it with a fiery fiery passion. It’s just a nasty scene of two people being horrible to each other for no fuckign reason.

+ Elizabeth plays a few notes that sound like the show’s theme... the show hasn’t earned that.

+ “spurred to treason to acquiesce to your desires” “oh I’m schooled on men by my sister, i wonder how she got so wise”. Can Mary let ANYTHING go? I understand her resentments regarding her past but why she can’t she just drop the subject of Tommy S? WHO SHE DIDN’T EVEN LIKE? Why must she KEEP being like ‘i told you so’? That ain’t how you get friends.

+ Mary did not earn that hug. She didn’t even apologise!

+ Aaaand then Mary is horrible again in like 2 seconds.

+ Illiterate doesn’t necessarily mean uncultured. Early medieval kings like Alfred and Charlemagne were illiterate because it wasn’t a skill they needed. They had scribes to dictate to, and servants to read aloud to them.

+ “don’t hide in places I’ve shown you are good for hiding in” made me laff. I’ll miss Girlboss when he is executed.

+ STOP PUNCHING ROBERT YOU BASTARDS

+ the iconic red dress... they haven’t earned it.

+ Elizabeth defending herself... should have been last episode. 

+ Bloody handkerchief of doom!

[limenysnocket]

●The Blush Bet●

Pt. II: The Date. . .

Summary: After losing the blush bet by a few points, (Y/N) has to go out on the-- as Taika calls it-- "Worst Date of Her Life" with him. She has no idea what he's going to do, but she does know she's going to be wearing a very pink, very frilly and very short dress on the date tonight.

Request: @honorarytenenbaum

Author's note: This is about to turn into a series and I'm LIVING FOR IT.

Warnings: Alcohol usage, swearing and very unsavory clothing.

●□■●□■●□■●□■●

This was it, wasn't it? This was fucking it.

This was the thing that made sure that Taika was never ever going to be a part of your funeral comitee.

You stood there, looking at yourself in the mirror, your face scrunched up in pure disgust like a teenage girl who just got a ketchup stain on her "perfect" prom dress. But wait, imagine this. You're in the prom dress, for real and it's the UGLIEST thing you have ever seen. You would vomit on it if you could, but this date was going to happen no matter what happened, so you would just have to try and not cry/embarrass yourself any more than you will, the moment you step outside of your door.

The dress itself was pink (extremely pink) and incredibly frilly. This wasn't the thing that bothered you, despite the complete uncomfortableness of the scratchy ruffles, was how terribly short it was. It showed off too much thigh and you swore, if your panties were any longer, they would be showing. You were actually starting to hate yourself again, just by the sight of you in this dress. It was utterly disgusting. So unflattering, so horrible, so uncomfortable that you could call off this entire date right now and you wouldn't be ashamed.

You were on the verge of tearing this dress right off, but a knock at the door and a loud honking of a horn outside stopped you. You let out a long groan and a very sad whine before you even had your hand on the doorknob.

You opened the door and your eyes immediately went to the very (very) old gentleman before you, who looked like he had both feet in the grave and was so ready to lie down in it at any second. He was cheery though, despite his... appearance. He was dressed in a grey vallet suit and a dimpled cap. It looked old, but it suited him well. "Your ride is here, ma'am. He's quite the lively fellow, I must say," he chuckled, scratching his chin with a gloved finger. He turned with you to face the whole limosene, parked just outside, as the horn let out another shrill holler. You knew exactly who was inside the car and honking at her, and she saw his head come popping right up out of the top of the open sunroof.

"(YYYY/NNNNNNNN)!!" Taika yelled, the big dorky grin on his face while he used his foot to honk the horn for each extended syllable of your name.

"What the hell are you wearing!?" You blurted. You should really be saying it to yourself more than him.

"I bought it at Good Will! Are you impressed?" He cackled, bouncing on his heels.

Taika was dressed in a very daddly button up, short-sleeved shirt that was decorated in very blurry and cartoonish, red cherries. You couldn't see it, but he was also wearing tan cargo shorts and a pair of black crocs. So, he was making this embarrassing for both you and him, huh? He had no shame.

"Wow, I've never been so turned on before," you say, the sarcasm leaking out of your voice shamelessly. He only grinned at you and continued waving you over, while people on the street stopped and stared for a minute before walking on, their heads down, and some even quietly giggling over the stupid encounter.

The old driver took you down the steps slowly and opened your door for you, where Taika was waiting with an incredibly cheesy grin. You gave him an up and down look with an extremely horrified look. You still couldn't believe he was wearing that stuff. "I like you better in pineapple print..." You mumble.

Taika laughed, "Too bad."

The car engine started with a very loud complaint from the engine. If you had known any better, you'd up and think that the entire car was about to fall to bits within the first few seconds it made it onto the road. But no, you weren't THAT lucky tonight. There was still a limo to carry you around, which meant that there was still a date. Unfortunately.

"How badly do you plan to make me suffer tonight?" You turn your head and face him, crossing your arms.

"Really badly," he smirked and winked at you.

"Really really?" You said, almost through bared teeth.

"Really really," he repeated and settled himself down into an even more comfort position, spread eagle.

You rolled your eyes and scooted away, almost uncomfortable as his knee came into contact with your thigh. "Do you have to do that? We're the only people in this dumb limo besides Butler Alfred up there," you jacked a thumb at the driver's seat ahead of you, where the pleasant old man was happily bouncing along to the rhythm of the car.

"For your information," Taika butted in, pointing a finger at you and changing his posture yet again, "his name is Robert and he's way cooler than any Batman butler out there. Secondly, yes. The goal is to make you uncomfortable and give you absolutely no breaks, whatsoever."

You groaned, leaning your head in your hand as you watched the average buildings trickle into expensive French and Italian restaurants. Your eyes widen the closer and closer you got to the rich and fancy part of town, still riding along in your old fart limo. "Taika Waititi, this better not be what I think it is. You're not going to make me step out of this car, looking like princess bubblegum and her sidekick poorly dressed dad man, in front of the richest damn side of town!"

He was only giggling beside you, like a kid, and that scared you. Suddenly, the limo stopped and you sunk in your seat. Outside of your window was one of the most richest, fanciest restaurants there is in Los Angeles.

"Suuuuurpriiiiiiise!" Taika grinned at you, running a hand through his curls then quiantly stepping out of the car as Robert the vallet opened his door, then went to open yours.

"M'lady~," Taika smirked and offered his hand out to you as you prepared to get out of the car. You slapped his hand and got out of the car. "Youch," Taika chuckled, hiding the bright red pain in his hand with a grin.

You got out of the car yourself, only giving Robert a nod to thank him. You said nothing to Taika and stood at the front of the car, receiving weird and chortling glances from people dressed up snootily. They all stuck their noses up at you as they walked into the massive two story building, completed with an archway entrance. You didn't show Taika this, but now you were on the verge of a breakdown. You didn't want to go in that restaurant. Not like this. Not on these terms.

You have never been in this restaurant before. Not even close. You thought that you would have to marry a rich, Austrian Lord to get in there. You didn't know, at the time, that Taika was spending a large amount of money for you and this date. The outfits, not so much, but that was simply so he could actually afford to take you to such a place.

You sat on the hood of the limo, your stomach and knots. You could feel Taika's gaze on your skin, mixed in with the many others from passersby. You couldn't feel, however, that it was full of sympathy and regret.

There was another weight added onto the hood and it made you jump. Why, wasn't it the daddly Taika.

"Neat place, huh?" He hummed, looking up at the grand building above the two of you.

You drew in a shaky breath, a grimace spread across your face. "Yeah... It is..." You said, shame dripping from your tongue. This was hurting the poor man's heart.

"Too bad we're not eating there, huh?" He put on a sticky grin and you whirled around to face him and smack his arm.

"Are you seriously telling me that you made me sit out here and get stared at by all of these dumb rich people!?" You yelled and got sneered at by people you didn't know, also ignoring the fact that you, yourself, were infact, rich too.

"I didn't make you sit in front of all these people. I just offered to take you out of the car. Robert likes the building and asked if we could make a pittstop," Taika laughed and fended off your hand with an equally hard slap to your arm.

"Oh, Robert, my good man. I would like to request we get going. No more sight seeing," Taika grinned at the elderly man who was fiddling with an ancient quarter in his coat pocket.

"Oh, but where possibly to, sir?" Robert looked up, dazed and confused. So much for enjoying the sight of the building.

"To the bar, my good chum," Taika got up and you quickly followed in pursuit, eager to get out of the spotlight and stop becoming measly entertainment for the earnings of snooty laughter.

"Oh," Robert seemed a little confused, then took his hand out of his pocket to stop fiddling with the coin. "Alrighty then. Any particular requests?"

"Just something on the less rich side of town, but nothing too on the dumpy side," Taika put in his request while he opened a car door for you to get in, then went in to get in on the other side.

Robert nodded, lifted his cap and scratched the bald part of his head, set his cap back down and got in the limo once more.

You, including Robert, were a little confused when it came to this interaction. Did Taika check to see if Robert had a case of Alzheimer's, or was he pulling a big fat joke on you. You just kept quiet and breathed a deep sigh of relief as the fancy buildings melted away into the more average side of town.

Eventually, the long and very quiet ride was over and the limo pulled up along the curb of a pretty decent bar. It was at half capacity with people the time you arrived and it was quite simple. Simple, neon "Open" lights hanging in the window, simple sign hanging above the door and simple people, dressed in simple clothing heading in and out. You wished you could be a simple person at that moment, but Taika still refused to let you have that.

You stepped out once Robert politely opened the door for you again. You would tip him if your stupid dress actually had pockets. Yet another curse upon this night.

You step up onto the curb and Taika is waiting, extending a hand to you once more. You gulped and stared at it. Even here, you could feel the unworldly stares of those around you. Well, who wouldn't stare? You looked like the human epitome of Pepto Bismal and Taika looked like a dad trying too hard to look normal, but fucking it all up in the end.

"You know how much I hate this, don't you?" You said, hesitantly looking at his hand. His other one was tucked into one of the, what seemed to be, hundreds of pockets in his cargo shorts.

"Yup," he said, letting the P out at the end with a pop from his lips, exaggerating his pronunciation a tad more.

"I feel so spoiled," you sigh and clap your hand on top of his extended one, your fingers tangling with his, and without warning, he was dragging you inside.

A little bell chimed as the door opened again, and the smell of hot wings, booze and heady cologne. It was a smell you recognized and one you'd never forget. You couldn't count how many times you had sat in a bar like this one before you were a Hollywood success like you were now.

Taika guided you over to a secluded booth that had one, red wax colored light dangling above. If either one of you were to lean too far across the table, perhaps to steal a fry or grab the salt, your forehead would collide against the damn thing and leave a mark purple enough to make someone think that your secret lover had left a hickey smack dab in the middle of your head. You took a mental note of the light, and you were sure Taika did too.

"Allowed to spoil any plans?" You said, a grin perking up on your face since you were finally away from prying eyes and listening to Lynrd Skynrd play their hearts out over the speaker system hooked into the ceiling.

"Nope. All the plans are exclusively meant for me to know," he tapped his temple with his index finger and gave you a wide grin. You knew how much of a fib that was, for sure, just by the smile.

"You have no idea what's going to happen, do you?" You say bluntly, folding your arms. Taika's smile gets even wider and he lets out a very breathy laugh.

"Totally!" He cackled. It was a goofy enough laugh to even make you start laughing a little too. He was such a dork. You couldn't help it, honestly.

A waiter eventually came and took your order and both of you started laughing and joking about how they had looked at the two of you so strangely. There was a big debate on whether the two of you should leave a big tip for putting up with your guys' shit, or leave a small tip since they had secretly questioned your morals and the way you were dressed with just one look.

Taika took a hearty slug of pint, cheeks pink and dazed with his slight drunkness. Rock bands had been playing all night. Metallica, Lynrd Skynrd, Guns N' Roses, System of a Down, Nirvana and any other daintily old, yet popular group. You never took the time to look into Taika's music interests, and that made you all the more oblivious to the fact that he liked a few songs from the band Aerosmith.

"Oh God, I love this song," he groaned sodtly, his whole body starting to sway just as 'Crazy' by Aerosmith began to play and he closed his eyes like a weeping, dedicated fan. His eyes suddenly shot open and looked directly at you, "You have to come dance with me."

"Excuse me?" You said, just as you took a sip of your own pint. "I don't dance."

"Yes, you do. Now, come on!" He smirked, grasping your hand from across the table and dragging you, once more, out and in front of a bunch of slightly drunk people that you don't know.

"Taika, really?" You look up at him and whine. He hushes you without a second thought and pulls you up close to him and your nose buries into his chest. His arms slither and wrap around your waist. He has you wrap your arms around his neck.

"Damn you, Waititi," you whisper, your cheeks ablaze with color as he sways you around the dance floor.

"Love you too, babe," he hums, closing his eyes and grinning with glee as other drunk couples came out and danced along with the music. To be the little bit extra that he was, Taika took the liberty to even do a little fancy spin and a tiny dip. You giggled the entire way through, and nothing could have been a better sight than that to Taika.

The night ended with much more slow dances, lots more drinks, and a bill piled up high. You paid for half of everything and he paid the other half before the two of you left. Robert was waiting outside, chatting up this lovely little old lady that appeared to be close to his age. She scampered off once she realized Robert's customers had come back from their randevou.

"Did you find yourself a date, Robert?" You giggled, walking right up to the now open door that the old man was holding open for you.

"Nah. She was way outta my league. Pretty, though," he grinned and you couldn't help but laugh as you ducked your head and climbed back into the limosene while brushing off the crumbs from fries from your dress. Taika sat right next to you and pat his stomach, full from a night indulging on junk food.

Robert was the last one in and he took the limo away from the curb and joined in with the traffic.

It was a lit slower getting home, and yoh felt yourself getting sleepier and sleepier. Your eyes drooped and your body began to lean in the direction of your door, but as the weight of your body began to fall, it was redirected by a gentle hand, and your head was soon rested against a warm body. You looked up and saw Taika with that classic grin. That cheeky little shit. You laughed, "Thanks," and just kept your head there, seeing as Taika's shoulder actually was more comfortable than the cold window or scratchy seatbelt.

"No problem," Taika whispered back to you and let his body relax to the sound of faint honking horns from outside the window and the blasting air conditioning. He kept you warm all throughout your delivery back home.

You couldn't help but feel a little sad whenever you felt the limo come to a stop and you slowly lifted your head from Taika's shoulder. You refused to let the kiwi see your disappointment, however.

Robert came and opened your door, again, and you actually gave the sweet man a tip this time with quite a bit of the change left from paying at the bar. He was happy with what he got. Taika stepped out too and walked you right to your door, like a gentleman. You turned to him to say goodbye.

"You know," you started with a soft laugh, "I was kinda expecting this date to be a lot worse."

"It could have been," Taika said, "But I have a heart, you know. Always so sympathetic."

You punched his arm playfully and he did it right back, only softer. "I'm actually quite curious," he said suddenly after the both of you sat in comfortable silence, "If you had won the bet, what would you have done?"

You winced and giggled at this, biting the inside of your cheek. "I was going to bedazzle your mustache and have Pedro help, since he seems to know a lot about it. I was going to put glitter in it and everything. Like Twilight," You cheekily quoted "What We Do in the Shadows" in front of him and that put a happy little grin on his face.

"You wouldn't dare," he said right back, not thinking of a snappy enough comeback.

"Oh, but I do..."

The silence settled in again and your cheek remained between your teeth. You drew in a deep breath and Taika took a step closer. "You know," he said in a very low voice, "I can take you out on another date sometime..." He started to lean in, his face drawing closer to yours and his lips only mere inches away. "Next time... possibly as something more than friends..."

His lips were expected to come into contact with yours, but they only came into contact with something less intimate. Your thumb.

"You forgot the one rule of this date," you said in a very hushed whisper. "I'm not allowed to fall in love with you..."

You pulled your thumb away from his lips slowly, admiring how his bottom lips stuck against it and slipped so silkily over it. "Goodnight, Taika," you said, internally kicking yourself for not kissing him in that perfect moment.

He didn't say anything back. He merely watched as you unlocked your door and slipped inside, leaving him wanting and yearning on your step. He let out a heavy sigh as the porch light flickered on and he raised his hand, as if to knock on the door and plead for you to come back out again, but he stopped himself and turned to Robter, who was just getting off of the phone.

"Mr. Waititi, the big restaurant you and the Miss were supposed to go to just called to tell you that they canceled your reservation, since you didn't show up. Do you want me to call them back?" Robert said, holding up a phone.

"No, Robert, that won't be necessary," Taika sighed.

"Oh," Robert shrugged, "where to now, sir?"

"Home, if you wouldn't mind it, sir," Taika said and slipped back into the seat of the limosene, the seat still drifting with the scent of your perfume.

[gobydana]

What Make Us Girls

A/N: So this is based off the song What Makes Us Girls by Lana Del Rey. (One of my favorite songs) It is batsister. If you listened to the song you know there is underage drinking. Reader is in highschool. Heads up this is a long one. 

Warning: Cussing and underage drinking. 

To most Y/N Wayne was another Wayne kid. She was the biological daughter of Bruce and Selina. Growing up she lived between the two, but most of the time at the manor. There was a difference between her and the rest of her family; she despised the nightlife they all lead. 

Some thought she would be like Selina and others believed she would follow in her fathers footsteps. One thing she would never do is put on any sort of costume. Hell, she disliked Gotham as a whole. Maybe it was due to the high exceptions that it held for her.  The princess of Gotham socialite and destine to be another robin. 

Once she reached high school, she begged her parents to let her go to a boarding school far away from Gotham. A place where she was someone without a family past. No one knew her. No superheroes and no Gotham media. Alfred even helped her, wanting just one of the children to grow up a normal life. 

That’s where Y/N found her happiness. At a private boarding school in a small town in  France, a whole country. Her family too busy to even visit her. Alfred came with Selina occasionally, and Bruce once in awhile if he was already out there on Batman or Wayne Enterprise business. For once though she didn’t care about the lack of attention, if anything it gave her freedom she so long desired. A thirst that was finally quenched. 

Remember how we used to party up all night Sneaking out and looking for a taste of real life Drinking in the small town firelight

At nights she would sneak out with the close group of friends she made there. Girls such as her who came from wealthy families, but desired to not follow in the path already made for them. Instead they took this time to drink and find out what life was all about. Sure sometimes they gave the head mistress a heart attack, but they wouldn’t trade it for anything.  

Sweet sixteen and we had arrived Walking down the street as they whistle, hi, hi Stealin' police cars with the senior guys Teachers said we'd never make it out alive

Y/N knew her family would have a heart attack. One minute her and her best friend were talking to some cute as fuck boy and the next they stole a police car. The teachers would chalk it up to no good girls and boys. 

To her it was the ability to do something stupid for once. That’s how it normally was. Just wanting to feel the freedom that was gone most of her life. No judgement from the other girls, if anything it was proud they beamed. Doing the stuff most would deem insane. 

The nearby boy school was their favorite place to hang out. Back home her brothers would be all over any guy who she talked to. Here they never even checked in. Maybe that was why she flirted like no one cared. 

There she was my new best friend

High heels in her hands, swayin' in the wind

While she starts to cry, mascara runnin' down her little Bambi eyes Lana, how I hate those guys

Yet at times she hated guys. When her best friend got her heart broken, she wanted nothing more then to punch the guy. Of course she couldn’t do that without getting punished, but she did give him a mouthful. That’s when she learned the horrible side of love. 

Every broken heart made them swear off love only until some new guy came by. Trying to find love without a parent’s opinion. No one’s expectation to live by. It didn’t matter the guys family or status. 

This is what makes us girls We don't look for heaven and we put our love first Somethin' that we'd die for it's a curse Don't cry about it, don't cry about it This is what makes us girls

Maybe it was because they were young, free of any parents, and looking for some acceptance. It seemed her friends were always looking for love and always finding heart break instead. Yet Y/N couldn’t blame them. She could date without fear of the Gotham media making it headline news. No better time to fall in love and get your heart broken when you don’t need to worry on the whole public see. 

And that's where the beginning of the end begun Everybody knew that we had too much fun We were skippin' school and drinkin' on the job

For a prestigious school, they sure where missing a lot of it. Instead going out and having fun. She had only four years, and she was going to make the most of it. Sleeping in when class was at 8 or drinking in the gardens. Even when they were assigned kitchen duty for punishment, one of them would sneak vodak in some kool aid. Passing the bottle while cleaning the stove. 

Sweet sixteen and we had arrived Baby's table dancin' at the local dive Cheerin our names in the pink spotlight Drinkin' cherry schnapps in the velvet night

The local club was one of their favorite past times. Everyone knew the girls from school went there. Yet the bouncer looked the other way with their fake ids. Y/N remembers the first time she got the courage to dance. Somehow that night she was on the table with her best friend until they fell off from laughing.

The night of her sixteenth birthday, her mother called and so did Alfred. The rest just sent cards. Yet her friends where there for her. They got cheap champagne and went out on the town. Her gold dress hung on her tight and her heels would make her mother proud. It was a night to remember. 

Know we used to go break in To the hotel pool, glittering we'd swim Runnin' from the cops in our black bikini tops Screaming, get us while we're hot We don't give a what

One night they took it even further. They were drunk and decide to sneak into the local hotel’s pool. Someone called the cops. While they did get away, the cops knew them. That night her father was called. He yelled over the phone, but she knew that is all he would do. He wouldn’t come, not with the Joker on the loose. On his priority she was not at the top. Selina had her hands full with Harley, so she was getting off with a lecture, like always. 

The prettiest crowd that you had ever seen Ribbons in our hair and our eyes gleamed mean A freshmen generation of degenerate beauty queens And you know something?

They were the only friends I ever had We got into trouble and when stuff got bad I got sent away, I was waving on the train platform Crying 'cause I know I'm never comin' back

Then one day it was all gone. Her father called, she was to go home and finish schooling at Gotham Academy. The worst part was he wasn’t even coming himself to get her, no he sent Alfred to meet her at the train stations. 

She cried all of that night. Going back home was like death. Her only friends where here. The ones who were there during the good and bad. Girls who helped her heal a broken heart. Rooms filled with laughter and memories. Instead back to a manor so quiet that the smallest squeak of floor boards echoed. 

Her brothers had their friends from Titans or the Outlaws, her’s was here. Girls at Gotham Academy would only be fake because she was a Wayne. Every inch of her being wanted to miss the train, but no doubt a teacher was going to make sure she got on.   

Despite how she was, many of the teachers were sad to see her go. She was the one who could get anyone to smile. When in class, she was smart. Her ability to learn different languages impressed even the strict Greek language teacher. 

The last night there she stayed with her friends. Memories were recalled all around. The broken hearts and the hearts they broke. How they were the only ones to sneak out through the old bell tower. It was more than friends, it was a family. She was leaving the family that cared for her, for one that she was now a stranger to. 

This is what makes us girls We don't look for heaven and we put our love first Somethin' that we'd die for it's a curse Don't cry about it, don't cry about it This is what makes us girls Darlin' little queens do you know what you're worth? I'll tell you everyday till you get it, girl It's all gonna happen

[drawingsanddrabbles]

Too Bad Santa’s Dead

Prompt: “Too Bad Santa’s Dead” (Bones s3e9)

I know, I know... A Jew writing a Christmas fic... I am confused about it myself. Anywho, here's a fic that was prompted from a line in a Bones episode from a rewatch and... and basically I wrote this in May. I wrote a Christmas fic in May and I'm a Jew so like... yeah. Join the confusion.

Anyway, Merry Christmas to all who celebrate and by the by Tim and Kon are aged-up to at least 18 because yeah.

ao3

“Dude, this sucks.” Kon said as he floated over the dead Santa.

“You know I’m an atheist, right?” Tim poked at the body and finished his oral report on the body and crime scene.

“Hey, I’m only part-Christian but that doesn’t mean this doesn’t suck.”

Tim rolled his eyes. “Santa isn’t real, Kon.”

“How do you know? I’m a clone of an alien and an evil corporate super-villain overlord. Santa could be real.”

“He’s not.” Tim snapped.

Kon recoiled. “Okay, it was just a joke.” Tim didn’t respond. Something had clearly upset Tim. Kon frowned, had Tim and Kon never had a conversation about Santa before? They’d known each other for years, not to mention that they’d been dating for around a year. Though, this would be their first Christmas together.

Did Tim hate Christmas?

Why did Tim hate Santa?

“Are you okay?” Kon asked as he floated.

Tim exhaled annoyedly (Kon knew that reaction well) and he stood. “I’m fine. Sorry for being snappy.”

“Are you sure?” Kon asked.

Tim pulled his mouth into a smile. “Yeah.” He was lying.

Which obviously meant that Tim wouldn’t tell Kon why and if Kon wanted to understand him better there seemed to be only one way to figure out why Tim hated the concept of Santa: ask the family. “I’ve gotten everything I’m going to get from the scene and I collected samples. Do you mind if we go back to the Cave so I can run tests?”

For once, Kon didn’t. “I’d love to go back. Want me to keep you company?”

Tim smiled, this time a real smile. “If you don’t mind.”

“Of course not.”

Dick’s first reaction was: “Someone killed Santa?”

Tim rolled his eyes. “Santa isn’t real, Dick. Someone killed someone dressed as Santa.”

“Uh huh.” Dick said. He leaned over to Kon and whispered, “Tim doesn’t like Santa.”

“Yeah, what’s that about?” Kon whispered back. Tim worked without sign of hearing them, they continued to whisper for Tim’s sake.

Dick raised an eyebrow. “He didn’t tell you?”

“Not that I can remember.”

Dick zipped his lips. “Not my secret to tell.”

“At least a hint?” Kon asked. “Help a boyfriend out.”

Dick looked at Tim, hesitated, then back at Kon: “It’s not just Santa, it’s also Christmas.”

“Wha-Really?” But Dick zipped his lips again. He walked over to Tim and rubbed his hair.

“See ya, kiddo.”

“Bye, Dick.” Tim raised an eyebrow. “What’re you doing all the way over there?” Tim asked Kon, just realizing how far away from Tim he was.

“Nothing, just thinking.”

“Sit next to me?” Tim asked.

Kon smiled and pulled up a chair next to Tim’s at the Batcomputer. He kissed his boyfriend on the cheek. “Sure babe.”

“EW!” Someone cried, seeing Kon kiss Tim. Tim rolled his eyes.

“I don’t ‘ew’ you when you kiss Cass.” He called to Steph who bounced over to Tim, resting her arms and head on Tim’s.

“That’s ‘cuz we’re gorgeous and there’s nothing to ‘ew.’ You on the other hand...”

“Hey!” Kon cried.

Steph grinned at him. “Not you of course, Kon. You’re just as gorgeous as us.” She winked at him.

“Stop hitting on my boyfriend.” Tim said, eyes never leaving the Batcomputer screens.

“Tim is gorgeous too!” Kon cried outraged.

“You only say that ‘cuz you’re his boyfriend, I’m his ex so I can say that he isn’t.”

“Thanks, Steph.” Tim said.

“You’re welcome.”

Tim switched to his crime scene pictures of the victim and frowned.

“Aw! Someone killed Santa?” Steph cried.

“Santa-”

“I know, I know, Santa isn’t real.”

“Who is not real?” Damian asked, Kon jumped out of his skin. He knew the gremlin was a ninja and all but like? Seriously? Damian hadn’t been there five seconds ago. He pushed Kon and Tim out of the way so he could see the case.

“No one you care about.” Tim said, pushing Damian so he could go back to his past position in front of the computer.

“Dami, see the red suit and the white beard? In our society that is a marker of a man named Santa Claus.” Steph explained.

“Santa Claus is imaginary.” Damian said.

“I can’t believe we agree on something.” Tim muttered.

Wait, Steph had dated Tim before… “Hey, Steph? Can we talk for a moment? Y’know, alone.”

Steph looked surprised. “Yeah, sure thing Hot Stuff. Step into my office.”

Kon stood and they began walking away from Tim when Damian said loudly: “If you are discussing sexual encounters with Drake, please walk farther from my earshot.”

“We’re far enough away that you can’t hear us, Kid!” Steph shouted at him. She turned to Kon, “what’s up?”

“Why does Tim hate Christmas?” He asked softly.  Steph glanced at Tim. “Please, Steph? Help a boyfriend out?”

“You used that exact line on Dick, didn’t you? And he didn’t tell you?”

Kon chewed on his lip. “Possibly…?”

“If Dick didn’t tell you, no way I’m telling you.” Steph said.

“Aw, please Steph?”

“The key to a healthy relationship is communication, Sunshine.” Steph said, patting him on the shoulder.

Kon sighed. “Whatever, thanks anyway.” He went back to Tim but Damian was sitting in his seat, conducting tests. “Dude, move.”

“Find another seat.” Damian snapped.

I can’t believe I’m arguing with an angry munchkin. Kon thought. Tim glared at Damian. He turned to Kon and stood, kissing him on the cheek. As if sensing his anger towards the little man, Tim suggested, “you know what, I’ll see you at home Kon, okay?”

“Are you sure?” Kon asked. He glowered at Damian but the youth ignored him. Tim nodded and Kon kissed Tim again and Damian rolled his eyes.

“Please take your possessive sexual activities somewhere else.” Damian said.

Kon was about to bite something back but Tim hit Damian on the back of the head and Damian growled something at him. Tim went back to the case and seemed to forget that Kon was in the room which was understandable, he always got that way when on a case. Kon guessed he’d go home then. He glanced back at the dead Santa on the screen and got an idea.

“No.” Tim said. Kon frowned, he hadn’t expected Tim to react so strongly. Tim stumbled backward, eyes staring. He tumbled into the wall, his gaze breaking. He turned and walked out.

“Tim?” Kon grabbed a robe, following him out into the cold Gotham night, “Tim, come back! If it bothers you that much I- Tim!” But Tim was nowhere to be seen.

Kon had fucked up. Kon had really, super duper, absolutely, indubitably, and terribly fucked up. Kon was about to jump into the air when a strong wind blew into Kon’s robe. Someone above him snorted. “Wow, trouble in paradise?”

Jason. Great. “Why are you here?”

“To stare at your wonderfully beautiful ass. Or maybe just to annoy Tim’s. I like to keep you heroes guessing.” Jason said. Kon was sure he was kidding.

Kon glared at him. He sat on top of Tim’s apartment building, mask on, leg hanging lazily over the edge of the roof. He looked Kon up and down, physically moving his mask to make sure Kon knew what he was doing. Kon looked down and closed his robe tighter (which probably wasn’t helping Kon’s modesty). “Are you here for a reason? Because if not, I have to go find my boyfriend and make sure he doesn’t want to kill me.” Kon grumbled.

“You really fucked up, didn’t you?” Jason shook his head. “Didn’t you know he has a thing about Christmas?”

“How did you know? You’ve tried to kill him.”

“Oh please, Krypto-Boy, we all have a thing about Christmas. For the demon-spawn and the mute it’s a detachment; they aren’t Christian, they never had a reason to love or want to love Christmas. Christmas was one of the only days Princess Eggplant’s dad was allowed to contact her, which didn’t always give her warm and fuzzy feelings. Not to mention a cheap Christmas and no presents, nothing that you want from Santa. And Dickiebird and Brucie? Well, being an orphan isn’t too fun on a family-centric holiday.”

He hadn’t known. Kon didn’t know what it was like, sure he was lonely and alone. Sure he didn’t know of a family before Tim and Bart and Cassie and Dubbilex and Jim and… but he had Ma and Pa, he had Kara and Clark and he had Lois. He had Christmas. They didn’t.

“And you? Tim?”

“Me? I was a street kid. Christmas meant cold, it meant pity charity from people too rich to care about me except for one fucking day of the year. Then? It meant Bruce and Dick and Alfred and family. And then? Then it meant nothing. But this is about Tim, and Tim? Tim wasn’t like us. Tim’s family wasn’t like any of ours. You’re never going to make Tim like Christmas. Tolerate it? Maybe. But like and love? Never. Just give up on that dream, don’t force him.”

“So? What do I do now?”

“So, you wanted to find out why? Ask him yourself clone. You want to accept that he just doesn’t like Christmas and he never will? Do that. It’s up to you now, Luthor-spawn, make the right choice.”

“Why are you here, Jason?”

Jason stood and brushed off his legs. “I heard Kris Kringle bit it, I thought I might have heard something, I was going to tip off the replacement, but clearly this isn’t the time. Go after him, Wannabe. He needs you.”

Kon nodded. He was about to take off again when Jason added, “and put on some pants. Maybe things are different in Metropolis, but in Gotham ripped dudes flying around wrapped as a Christmas present isn’t appropriate.”

Kon ran into the apartment he and Tim shared and changed, then he closed his eyes and followed the sound of his love’s heartbeat.

“Here, huh?” Kon asked, landing on the top of the Wayne Enterprises Tower.

Tim shrugged, his legs swinging off the edge of the roof. “I like being up high. How’d you find me?”

“It’s not hard, I know you. I know your heartbeat. And I know when I’ve clearly upset you.”

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have-”

“No. It’s my fault. I knew you were upset about Christmas and Santa and I pushed it too far. I thought... I thought I could make it right. Give you some good memories. Clearly I was wrong.”

“Clearly.”

“Tim, please tell me: what I can do to make it right?” Kon asked. He sat down next to Tim. Tim stared out at the illuminated street below him.

“When, when I was three I learned about Santa for the first time.” Tim began slowly. “I was at pre-school and my teacher asked if anyone knew who Santa was. I was the only person in class who didn’t know. That night, that afternoon really, Mrs. Mac picked me up from school—Mom and Dad were in Africa for Christmas. I told Mrs. Mac about what I’d learned that day, about Santa, and she, and I’ll never forget this, she turned around in her seat with the most pitying look on her face and she said: ‘oh, Tim dear Santa isn’t real.’” Tim stared at his hands and inhaled shakily. “Just like that. To a three year old. I mean, I’d figure it out eventually, but really?” He paused before continuing. “I didn’t really believe her, not entirely. What my teachers and classmates said… it had to be real, I mean Batman was real so why not Santa, right? Well I waited up for him that night, after Mrs. Mac had gone to her family for the holiday, I stayed up. I stayed up and I made milk and cookies and I hid with my camera, a birthday present by the way, under the couch and I waited for Santa to come. And by morning Santa didn’t come, and there were no presents under my tree. And until Mom died that was my Christmas, alone in the house. When I turned five I started buying my own presents, Mom and Dad gave me the money of course, but I bought them. I wrapped them. I hid them under the tree. Christmas didn’t really seem so magical, and soon I just… stopped, all together. After all I could buy whatever I wanted with my parents credit cards whenever I wanted, what was the point of celebrating Christmas?” He finally stopped to breathe. The breaths were thick and his shoulders shook, his voice trembled. “So when you… I don’t want Christmas. I-I know you were trying to be helpful, but I just-I don’t want Christmas!”

“Okay.” Kon said. “No Christmas, promise.” Tears fell from Tim’s eyes and Kon wrapped him in a hug. “No Christmas. Promise.” He repeated.

Tim walked into the apartment on December 24th not expecting what he saw. But it didn’t make him walk out. “You-you cleaned the apartment.” He stated.

Kon grinned. He wore Tim’s favorite sweater for him (it was an S-Shield pattern that Ma had made for him one year) and the apartment was flawless. The mouth-watering aroma of Chinese food filled the air. A blanket lay across the couch and Tim’s laptop was plugged in, laying on top of it. The TV was on and ready to be watched. “What-what is this?” He asked, slightly overwhelmed by the sparkiliness of the moment.

“I figured, since you don’t like Christmas, how about we don’t do Christmas. How about we never do Christmas. Instead we do an ‘us’ night. We stay in, eat our favorite foods, pizza is on it’s way by the way, we marathon Wendy. We cuddle on the couch. Then, tomorrow we can go out on patrol or whatever you want to do.”

“An ‘us’ night?”

Kon nodded enthusiastically. “Unless, of course, you don’t want to. ‘Cuz then we don’t have to. I just thought… since I’ll never be able to give you good Christmas memories, what if we never had to worry about Christmas at all? Y’know do kind of a new holiday, just for us.”

“Just for us.” Tim repeated.

Kon nodded, trying to gauge Tim’s reaction. When Tim said nothing, Kon’s face fell. “Actually,” he said bashfully, “it’s stupid, we can just do nothing, I’ll just-”

“No!” Tim said, freezing Kon in his tracks. “No.” Tim said. “It’s perfect.”

“Really?”

“Yes. And very sweet.” He walked over to Kon and hugged and kissed him lightly.

“Um, excuse me?” A voice said from behind them.

The pizza guy had arrived. Kon paid him and took the pizza from him. He closed the door and Tim and Kon settled onto the couch. Wendy the Werewolf Stalker played and they began stuffing themselves with food. The night wore on until they were out of food and halfway through Wendy’s first season. Kon lay drowsily on Tim’s shoulder while Tim curled the blanket around his feet.

“Tim?”

“Hmm?” Tim asked.

“Where do you want to patrol tomorrow?” Kon asked, yawning.

“What if we... didn’t patrol?”

Kon frowned and sat up, looking at him. “But you love to patrol.”

“And you don’t, and I also love you. This is an ‘us’ day, right? So let’s do something we both like. Maybe head down to the arcade.”

Kon smiled and kissed Tim gently. “I love you so much.”

Tim smiled and laid his head down in Kon’s lap, stretching out on the couch, his legs hanging over the end. “I love you too.”

[ellana-ravenwood]

Costume Party - Jason Todd x Reader (eroticaish)

Another one of those short story (at least shorter than I usually write) cause I don’t have much time before work, but still wanted to write something. Hope you’ll like it, especially you @demigodslytherin (I’ll wrote one with this prompt for Draco or Sirius another time ^^) : 

IMPORTANT WARNING : THERE IS SOME PARTS THAT ARE "EROTICA” ! THIS IS NOT FOR YOU IF YOU ARE UNDERAGED, I GODDAMN MEAN IT. Like there’s cute and sweet feelings in the mix, but also…smut, so if you’re not 18 or more, or if you’re not comfortable with that sort of things etc etc, this story ain’t for you. I have tons of other very SFW story, for averyone to read, and if you wanna check those out instead, it’s right here, on My masterlist blog : @ella-ravenwood-archives.

_______________________________________________

You weren’t fond of parties, and neither was Jason...So it’s a wonder really, how you two ended up here, at one of the biggest costume party of the year. 

Drunk out of your mind. 

You don’t even agree as to how things actually happened. 

You believe that you got dragged to this party by Dick and Barbara, and he thinks you actually came here on your own will after Bruce said he had invitations to it, but had absolutely no intentions on going because it was full of “the youth of Gotham” and he was getting tired of those “20 years old girls and boys that accosted him to hit on him and flirt shamelessly with him, while he was obviously not interested”...besides, he couldn’t go through the hassle of finding a date for that in time, and had important cases to work on. So you took the invites and went in his place...

You were both right. Bruce gave you, Dick and Babs the invitations, but you and Jason didn’t wanna go, wanting a calm date night instead...But of course, his brother and your best friend wouldn’t hear it and indeed dragged you there with them. You grumbled all the way through, and grumbled some more when you arrived at the place and discovered that it was PACKED with people. Oh and the kind of people you disliked : the rich fuckers of Gotham City that thought they were better than anyone else. Not the rich people like Bruce, who genuinely cared about their city and such...No, their sons and daughters, who were born in wealth and thought that it made them the best. Urrh. You hated those guys so much. Coming from a poor neighborhood, they always were so rude to you ! And the number of time you heard that you were dating Bruce Wayne’s son only for his money...

If any of those assholes told you that tonight, you were gonna loose it. Especially since you really didn’t wanna be here. 

The only good thing about that all ordeal, was the fact that it was a costume party, and you loved getting in a costume. Though that particular night you didn’t have much time to actually prepare anything (again, dragged by Dick and Babs), and ended up in a generic princess disguise you had in your closet, while Jason put on a pirate costume. 

Paparazzis took at least a thousand pictures of you, Jason, Dick and Barbara...”Bruce Wayne’s children out with their girlfriends to the biggest costume ball in Gotham” would be the headline of every newspapers the next day. 

You didn’t get it. It was so uninteresting to know that you guys went there, like, who cared ? Apparently, lots of Gotham folks...They loved the pictures especially, so you made sure to give them a show by making stupid and weird faces on each of them. 

Bruce thought it was the most hilarious thing ever, how you hated being a public figure so much...but he also thought it was very cute that you would endure it because you loved his son. He liked you. You and your sass. Also, you were of a calm nature, so he thought it was perfect for Jason, you were able to tame him down most of the time. 

But tonight ? Oh tonight, things went downhill pretty fast, and the first thought you had was : “Oh man, B’s gonna be so disappointed in me !”. Of course, he wasn’t, but you sure weren’t the one that would “tame Jason down” that night. Oh no. You usually never drunk, but because you were so mad about being dragged to this party, you accepted the vodka Dick handed to you and...Oh you were gone so fast.  

It took you and your boyfriend less than an hour to get angry drunk. 

“Angry drunk” was how Dick would call you whenever you got drunk, because it happened rarely, and it happened only when something was displeasing you.

You had made it clear all the way from the Manor to here, you did not want to come, but alright, to make your friends happy...

And so. Here you were. Disguised as a Princess, clinging to your boyfriend’s arm as so not to fall, in a place full of...people. Ew. 

A few girls tried to approach Jason, but each time, he answered them by kissing you passionately, and making everyone around you two awkward. When some guys came to flirt with you though, as Jason was getting more drinks, you had to call Dick and Babs screaming “EMERGENCY” for them to come and help you stop Jay to jump on those men. 

He yelled at them a few : “MY GIRLFRIEND ! MINE !” and then turned to you and...oh his drunk self was always so sappy. 

-I love you (Y/N), my sweet, precious, beautiful (Y/N). Please spent your life with me ? 

He pulled you into a hug, and you chuckled, because your drunk self was just as cheesy and with a kiss on his nose you said : 

-I love you too Jay. My handsome, way too tall, cute Jay. 

-Cute ? 

-Cute. 

-I’m not cute, I’m tough...

-...and dangerous. Sure my favorite teddy bear. 

-...Oh you asked for it ! 

And as if you two were the only people in the world, he started to tickle mercilessly, making you laugh way too loudly...and somehow, that tickle fight turned into slow dancing. 

Really, you two when drunk were impressive. 

Oh but here, in his warm embrace, was your favorite place in the world, and you probably would have fell asleep if he didn’t start to kiss your neck...

And boom, you two ended up in the toilets, making-out. 

It was one of those fancy “private toilets” thing, where each toilets had their own little water room and all...and you definitely took advantaged of it. Though your drunk selves struggled a bit, you still remember how sweet and adoring he made love to you...Even though it was in the toilets. 

-Have I told you I love you today ?

He asked while filling you slowly, thrusting up and down tenderly.

-Yes. 

-Oh. 

-So you’re not gonna say it again ? 

-It would loose its meaning if I say it too often. 

-Of course. I l...tolerate you. 

-I tolerate you too. Oh, and to Hell with it, you know I always mean it and always will : I love you (Y/N) (Y/L/N). 

-Fancy that, cause I love you too Jason Todd. 

-Great. You’re my princess. 

-I’m not a princess I’m a fearless pirate ! 

-I thought I was the one that was the pirate...

-You only have the costume, deep down, you’re a..

-Princess.

The fit of laughter that took over you and Jason right in that minute was probably heard all throughout the venue, and people were probably wondering what you guys were up to...they totally thought you were having sex in there, and here they hear loud giggles...That quickly turned into moans. Oh ok, so you were having sex. 

************

You don’t really remember who’s ideas it was but...Somehow, along the way, you ended up switching costumes. 

When you put your clothes back on, you took the pirate costume, he took the princess one...you were wearing an overgrown pirate costume (Jason was quite a giant compare to you), and he was wearing a princess dress way too small for him, and a tiara. Of course. 

When you got out of the bathroom, thankfully, the first people you met were Dick and Babs, and not paparazzis. The oldest Wayne boy, looking his brother up and down, calmly said : 

-What the fuck ? 

You shrug, and Jason says : 

-I don’t know. I’m her princess. 

Laughing some more, you slump yourself against him for support, and your eyepatch, which is also too big, slips from your eye and cover your mouth, which of course, makes you laugh more. 

Jason giggles like a schoolboy, and..Yeah. Right. You two are drunk. You’re always the most hilarious people when drunk. Dick and Babs look at each other, rolling their eyes to the ceiling, and spent the rest of the night making sure no one takes picture of you. Good brother and best friend. 

But of course, something happen. Something always happen. When you go out with Jason, things never go smooth. At some point, he either gets in a fight, or your sass get the both of you in trouble and..he gets in a fight. 

And the problem of today ? His princess dress. 

He’s way taller than you. Way larger too. His muscles are ridiculous. And of course...the costume starts to rip as you and him dance like crazy people in the middle of the venue. And of course, because this is a fancy pants party full of fancy pants people, it isn’t “right” that one of the guest is dancing half naked (though you know everyone is lying when they say it made them uncomfortable...your boyfriend has a very attractive body, and instead of getting jealous at the women flirting with him, you just smiled at them, kissed him, and basically showed them that they had absolutely no chance, and the way he only looked at you, with eyes full of love and adulation, convinced them all to just drop it). 

A security guard came to the both of you to tell you Jason has to wear more clothe and your boyfriend’s response is what sprout the troubles : 

-Bitch please have you seen me ? I’m a princess. 

And of course you two had to fall on the ONLY security guard of the place that was super short tempered. The man didn’t even think twice, and started to grab Jason to throw him out...nice try. 

Jason threw him across the room (it was a reflex really, someone grabbed at him aggressively, he throws him across the place), but before it could really turn into a fight, Dick and Babs jump in and drag the both of you through a back door, where a car waits for you guys. 

Alfred. Oh the Wayne’s savior. Dick and Barbara throws the both of you in the car, and tells the butler that they’ll get home on their own, going to Babs’ place. With a “be careful” he drives home. 

And oh Alfred is too old to cary Jason (or you) to his bed, and so he leaves the both of you behind the car, asleep in each others’ arms...and as he gets into the kitchen to fix something for Bruce to eat when he’ll come back from patrol, he also make his miracle “hangover eraser” and leaves it for you and Jason on the kitchen counter. 

************

You’re the first to wake up. With a searing migraine. 

As you tear yourself out of his embrace, Jason opens his eyes too and...Oh no, he closes them right away. Too bright. Everything is too bright. 

You two manage to drag yourself to the kitchen, and God bless Alfred and his miracle “hungover eraser”, you drink it all up (God it’s disgusting) and just stay there, half-asleep, looking more like undeads than anything else. 

You thank Alfred as he comes in to cook some breakfast for you and Bruce, and he just smiles at you two. 

When Bruce comes down to take his breakfast, he stops and just stares at you...With a very confused look on his face he asks :

-...What the Hell happened to you two ? 

Yes. You do really look like zombies.

Also, you’re wearing a pirate costume that’s too big for you, and the chocolate mustache Jason drew on you during the party smeared all over your face, as if you dumped your head into a chocolate cake mix. 

Oh and, Jason is wearing half a princess’ dress. 

The look you both give him, empty, blank, makes Bruce understand that, well, that must have been a Hell of a party. He almost regrets not going. 

Almost, because clearly, it had been a Hell of a party because you were together, probably, alone it wouldn’t have been the same...and as you starts to fall asleep on his son’s shoulder, and he lays his head on yours, slumping an arm around across your back to give you more support..He knows he’s right. 

___________

Written in 7 minutes. It’s pretty shit. But it’s a short shit so it’s ok (if that even makes sense). I’m gonna write more of those “fast short stories”, cause I have a few sentence starters that I want to just write short things with compare to my usual long shit and IMMA SHUT UP NOW.