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#others were just decided as i was doing this lmao
caramelkoo · 3 days
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honeysuckle
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boyfriend!jungkook, established relationship, smut
summary : according to your boyfriend, a little competition won't hurt anyone especially when the game is his favorite. Making you feel good.
warnings : mature, strong language, heavy on the smut, a little fluff thrown in there, fingering, pussy slapping, he asks for consent, they're freaky, dick piercing, ass slapping, hickeys, sex in a jacuzzi, reverse cowgirl, riding, jungkook wants oc so bad, dirty talk, he calls oc sweetheart, unprotected sex. if i missed something, do let me know.
a/n : hi my loves, here’s your promised smutty treat. tbvh that picture has not left my mind ever since i saw it lmao. I love you guys so so much. You're so loved and cherished. Please don't read this in front of your parents. also @rpwprpwprpwprw was the sweetest to ask for a tag <33 xoxo
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"Oh yeah baby, just like that"
"You fuck me so good"
'Take my cock like a good slut you are"
Any other day, you're all about sex positivity and letting your body get what it wants but today of all days, your neighbors want to ruin the peace that you so desperately craved.
Your boyfriend, Jungkook had left early for a business meeting promising you to come back as soon as he gets done with it. As much as you missed him, you had felt the need to have some time for yourself. You thrive on being Jungkook's girlfriend, it's all butterfly in the stomach, princess treatment kind of love but you can't lie about wishing for some alone time just for yourself. Finally, you were getting it. You had it all planned bit by bit.
Step 1 : take an everything shower
Step 2 : cook something delicious for yourself while wave to earth plays in the background
Step 3 : read a romantasy novel you've been anticipating for a long time.
Step 4 : if sleepy, sleep. If not, take out your pink best friend from the bedside drawer and seek your pleasure listening to Jungkook's voice recording you had him record the other day. It always works.
Step 3 and you're already at the verge of giving up. It appears the people next door didn't exactly like your plan and they wanted to make you realize how lonely you are. Screaming at your face, "Haha guess who's not getting a dick". God forbid if a girl wants to have quite and peaceful night while romanticizing the shit out of it.
You slam the book on the bed and sigh. For a second you consider calling Jungkook but stop when you realize that you'll only be hindering his work. What are you even going to tell him? that you can't read because your neighbors have been fucking each other for hours now? No, that's just stupid.
Taking off your reading glasses you make your way to the kitchen. If you can't get sleep tonight, you might as well give them a tough fight. When and if they decide to let their horny asses take a break and decide to doze off, they'd catch on to the fact that there's someone next door whose mama didn't raise a quitter. Immature? you don't think so.
Once the woman's voice on the speaker alerts you that your phone has been connected, you start off with your favorite go to song when you need to cry your eyes out. "Fuck to an emotional song now" you think.
Coming in terms with the fact that you might have to pull an all nighter, you begin making coffee. The word itself brings a smile on your face. Coffee, which got you through your med school. Coffee, which got you Jungkook.
If you really think about it, hadn't you mustered up the courage to go on a solo date that day and have a coffee all by yourself you wouldn't have crossed your paths with him. It's funny actually because how many couples do actually last this long after meeting at a random coffee shop?
After dating douchebags for almost three years you had taken a break from dating all together. It was high time you focused on yourself. Honestly, it's not like they were the only one who was messed up in your previous relationships. You had some parts you had to heal as well and the moment you caught up on that, you went on a journey. Journey to self love, journey to find yourself and a journey which will leave you not perfect but healed.
As for the dimwits you dated in the past, sometimes it was "why do you always have to be like this? how much more space do you need?" or, "What do you mean you don't want to have sex right now? C'mon don't be a spoilsport".
Spoilsport, your ass.
Standing up on your tippy toes, your hands reach out for the coffee container but before you could even settle your foot down on the floor, two arms circle around your waist making you gasp in utter shock.
The need to defend yourself takes so strongly over you that you don't even turn around in order to check the person before your elbow connects with their nose.
When you finally do, you can't stop the scream from leaving your mouth. Your face all red and your eyes as big as saucers.
You panic, "JUNGKOOK?"
When you see blood oozing out of his left nostril after he lifts his face, you mentally curse your sister for forcing you to take self defense classes.
"What's with the song, sweetheart?"
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"I told you you were gonna be my death someday but who knew it was gonna be tonight"
After cleaning up his nose and giving him a cup of coffee, you both were now sitting on the couch. You had turned off the music, though. God knew it was not making the situation any better.
You take a sip before speaking, "Oh, don't be dramatic. Who comes home like this and at this hour?"
"My flight was late, sweetheart. I wanted to get to you much sooner but destiny had plans--" he gets cut off as his eyebrows crease in wonder.
"What was that?"
"The neighbors. They have been going at it for hours now" you shake your head in disbelief.
"For hours? That's some stamina I must say" he breaks out in a fit of laughter as you place your cup on the table in front of you.
Turning towards him you ask, "You find this funny? I haven't been able to sleep because of them"
Your voice comes out a bit whiny and you wonder if you're acting a bit childish.
"Oh, sweetheart. How about this, I take a quick shower and we cuddle to sleep" a mixture of warmth and concern crossing his face.
Your smile is wide when you say, "I'd love that"
Jungkook finishes his coffee and pecks your lips as he saunters towards the bathroom. However, when he turns back and says the most unforeseen thing, your silly mind doesn't even think twice.
"Actually, _____. Why don't you join me?"
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Bubbles form inside the jacuzzi as smoke fills your surroundings. The smell of warm water hits your nose making it feel tingly. Your stomach is doing summersaults as your boyfriend lets you down inside the water, heart skipping a beat.
Only when Jungkook lets himself sit on the other side of the tub, you can finally take a deep breath. His eyes never leaving yours. When you're with him, there's nothing you care about. Not your horny neighbors, not the world, nothing. It's just him and his presence that lights you up. A smile that could rival the sun.
Him.
Your fingers play with the water as you try to make a conversation. This moment right here, is peak level of intimacy for you. You're both naked, exposed and vulnerable yet you've never felt safer. Not to mention how you feel like a high school girl trying to talk to his crush.
When you were young, the bathroom was the only place you could run and cry in and no one judged you. The four walled room provided more comfort than people in your life. It holds memories but when you moved in with your boyfriend, you left those at your old house. To rot, because what else?
With him, every corner, every space in your house feels pure and blissful. It’s filled with laughter, moans and him.
Jungkook's legs are lightly brushing yours every now and then, the movement sending shivers down your spine. What's happening to you?
"So, how was the business trip?"
"On a scale of one to ten, how funny is it that you wanna talk about business while looking like that and all I wanna do is fuck that sweet mouth of yours because of how much I missed it?"
You shudder, the effect he has on you is beyond belief and now with the expression crossing his face, pure lust and longing, it's as though somebody has set your whole body on fire. A mix of hot and cold feeling running through your veins.
"Jungkook"
"Come here"
"Wh-"
He cuts you off, "Come here, sweetheart. Come to me before I lose my ever loving mind'
You don't have an option other than to scoot your way towards him. He positions your body between his legs, his taut and muscular chest touching your wet back.
Wetness pools between your legs as his hardness presses at your lower hip just above your ass. Your pussy throbs with need and you stop yourself from reaching down to relieve that tension.
His fingers ever so lightly graze over your arm, frequently making drawings on it.
"How long did you say they were going at it?"
You look at him, "About three hours. Why?"
He's up to something. You can feel it in your bones.
"Do you think they're still gonna be able to fuck each other after hearing your screams through the wall, sweetheart?"
Fuck. The idea of making them listen to you while your boyfriend fucks you into oblivion doesn't sound so bad. You missed him, you missed being in his arms and you missed him being inside you as well. So, where's the harm in that?
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"You wanna give them a show? Let them know how well your man fucks you?"
The moan that leaves her as she lets her head fall back heavy on his chest tells him everything her words can't.
"Jungkook, please. It's been so long" she cries out.
She stirs making herself more comfortable but that just makes him hiss through his teeth as her ass grazes his cock, the metal on the tip leaving a cool sensation. He's not gonna give in easily though. He will make her earn that release.
His hands cup her tits, fully covering them and they fit so perfectly in his hands. Heavy, full, perfect. As if they're made just for him to suck, him to cup, him to cum on, him to leave purple love bites on.
"I know, sweetheart. Do you wanna know what I kept thinking about while I was away?" his voice trails off, "I kept thinking about how bad I wanna fuck your throat"
The sound that leaves her is filled with need.
"Jungkook, baby please."
He trails his hands down her chest and stomach before it reaches her pussy. Just around her clit. His finger are soft and light, not putting pressure when all she wants is for him to give her the release she so badly craves.
Jungkook's cock is already leaking with precum and his balls ache. He missed his girl so fucking much, so much that he lost count of how many times he had fucked his hand while thinking of her while he was away. When his colleagues saw his flushed face, he had no other option than to blame it on the cold weather.
His finger slide down and back up her slit, making her visibly shiver.
Shit. He's not gonna last long if she keeps making those noises.
"How many finger do you want, _____?" he asks as repeats the same motion.
His mouth comes on her in a searing kiss, it's possessive, passionate, burning and everything nasty. He's straight up claiming her mouth as her tongue tangles with his own.
Pulling back he waits for her response, "Two. Please"
Following her command, his two fingers slide inside her. He tightens the hold on her stomach to have her stay in place when she bucks her hips forward.
She screams.
"That's my girl"
He slides his finger out before sinking it deep inside her cunt again. Crooking them in such a way that he hits her g-spot. Desperate moans fill the room mixing with the steam coming out of the hot water. Her hands ghost over his, fastening his pace.
"You want it faster, sweetheart?"
"Yes, much faster. I wanna cum so bad"
Happy to give her what she wants, he begins rubbing at her clit while his other fingers work their way in and out her wet cunt.
"Oh my fucking god"
"That's right. Get what you want. Such a good girl for me"
He's an animal at this point as he tries to mark her his more than she already is. Jungkook has always been open about sex with his girlfriend, his needs, his wants, his desires and she'd done the same. You compliment each other perfectly. It's easier that way, not leaving any room for doubts.
She like dirty talk, he gives it to her.
When her hips lift forward matching his thrusts, he smirks. Biting her slender neck as she chases her orgasm.
"Aghh"
It finally happens, her hands grasp his even more tightly, other hand gripping the edge of the jacuzzi as she lets out a scream. Her breath fastens as sweat beads her forehead, Jungkook never stopping with his praises.
When she settles back down between his legs, he takes his finger out and sucks them clean. Brown eyes never leaving hers.
"Do you think they heard us, sweetheart?"
Her laughter brings smile to his face, "You're crazy"
"And you're mine" He pecks her cheek, letting his lips linger there for a bit. Basking in the feeling of her love's skin against his lips.
At the beginning of your relationship when you were just getting comfortable with intimacy, jungkook loved kissing her cheek. It was his way of showing her that she's adored by him. Then he realised that quite frankly, it's her. He likes kissing so much because it's her that he's kissing.
He holds her for a while before speaking up, "You wanna help me with a problem?"
He doesn't need to tell her twice but soon as her next words leave her mouth, he takes a double take.
"Sit on the edge and I'll suck you off" he hears her say as she kneels before him.
"Later" he grabs her by her shoulders as he positions her back between his legs. This time facing him.
Her legs wrap around his waist and his thick cock presses against her navel. He knows how badly she wanted to take him into her mouth and he could have let her do that only if he was strong enough to resist himself from sinking deep inside her.
"Now, I wanna fuck you. Raw and nice just like my girlfriend deserves" his voice comes out breathy.
"I love you"
"Me too, sweetheart. More than you know" he assures.
Knowing he can't take it anymore, he lifts her up and sits her body down on his cock. Slowly by slowly as she moans her way through it. ____'s head falls into the crook of his neck and his grip tightens on the curve of her waist. The ampallang piercing multiplies the pleasure tenfold as you both roll your eyes at the back of your head.
Jungkook got madly drunk the other day and came back with a dick piercing which resulted in her getting mad at him and him fucking her to show how good it gets with it.
Having said that, he presses a searing kiss on her lips and his breath knocks out of his chest in the process. It's almost like he's dreaming. The feel of her body on him, his cock deep inside ____, her arms caging him. It all feels surreal. At this point, the neighbors are long forgotten. It's you and him now.
He takes one of her sensitive buds in his mouth, flicking it with his tongue. Moving it in circular motions.
The next few seconds involve him spanking her ass as if he wants to leave marks, him guiding her up and down his cock as she bounces and giving her frequent kisses. Wet slapping noises fill the entire room as his balls ache with need.
"So good, baby. You feel so fucking good. Wrapped around me like this while I fuck you good, huh?" he slaps her pussy lightly.
Thrust Thrust Thrust
As she falls back again into his arms, crying loudly with utter pleasure, he tightens his hold on her body. Hugging her close as both of your heartbeats sync together.
"Thank you for letting me love you, sweetheart. Thank you for coming into my boring ass life and filling it with laughter. Fuck"
Your sweaty and now tired bodies are wrapped around each other as you both revel in the warmth of intimacy.
He lets out a grown followed by her whine and before he can say anything, you’re both cumming together, sighing and kissing as you come down your high.
A chaste kiss is pressed on her forehead, "So perfect, my girl"
"That was…" you bite your lip.
"Amazing, I know" he says as he mindlessly plays with her black locks.
his hands rub her back. "Sweetheart, I want one more from you"
"One more?"
"Yeah, this time I wanna see your beautiful back. Will you do it for me?"
He tries to ask her as gently as possible. Pride filling his chest when he sees her nod.
Guiding her up with the support of her knees he sits her down on his lap, his balls brushing against her clit as he sinks back inside her. A man can only take so much before he snaps. This was the moment for him. His girl's back glistens in the most beautiful way ever. Sweat droplets mixed with water dripping down her spine that he can’t help but kiss.
"Fuck baby, you look like a goddess right now." he halts,
"So warm"
Trailing his hands up the back of her neck he threads his fingers through her hair, gripping it lightly but also putting enough pressure just so she can feel a sweet pain.
His heart skips another beat when she starts moving forward and then backwards, teasing him. Her movements are painfully slow. He wants to ask ____ to move faster but at the same time, he also wants to make this special for her.
So, he waits and watches her back arch as he feels like the luckiest man in the world.
"Jungkook" she moans his name, holding on to his thigh as he pounds into her from the back. It’s even deeper now, his cock hitting places he’d never hit before. Jungkook mentally thanks himself for trying out this new position because he’d just about take any chance to feel more connected to ____.
Just when his stomach contracts and hardens, he asks, "____ I’m gonna need you to spread those ass wider. I’m very close"
When she hums in response he gently pushes her upper body so that it’s flat on his legs, immediately letting him see more of ____'s ass. Her asshole clearly visible to him. It’s such a vulnerable position that you’re both in. Her more than him.
He has to ask her, "Sweetheart, if you don’t feel comfortable we can always stop, alright? You just have to ask"
Her whiney voice reaches his ears, "I’m okay, baby. Just- Just fuck me"
So, he does. His hips thrust forward as he fucks her mercilessly, letting her have the pleasure. She moans, he moans, she cries out, he groans. It’s unbelievably perfect. His hands roam over her smooth back, her ass and even down to her pussy. Both bodies working in a graceful sync.
Suddenly, it’s like the earth comes to a stop. His hands grip his hair while the other one grips hers. His stomach hardens, balls tightening and the moment _____ clenches around his cock, he cums inside of her. Filling her up with hot, white liquid. She follows him soon enough.
"I fucking love this body of yours"
She straightens up and lets her wet body fall heavy on his chest seeking warmth and his arms around her. He’s more than happy to do so. His muscular arms bring her closer to his chest as he relaxes.
Before the next words leave his mouth, he has to make sure ____ is sound asleep.
"I can’t wait to ask you to marry me, sweetheart. I can’t wait to see you in that white dress walking towards me like the angel you are"
He hopes she says yes, he hopes the ring brings the biggest smile on her face.
He hopes.
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habken · 2 days
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So, I’ve got a question relating to your trenchcoat fusion AU—timeline-wise, what’s the situation with Aizawa unfusing Izuku and Katsuki for the first time?
Like, do they initially fuse as children and just can’t find a way to separate, so they stay together up until Aizawa uses his quirk on them, and their original bodies were just… shoved into some sort of timeless stasis up until then, so they stayed as children when they separated? Or was it something else? Like… they fused recently, and their respective ages smashed together to create a giant, fumbling 16 year old that abruptly decided to sign up for UA when they couldn’t manage to unfuse?
Ngl, reason two doesn’t really make any sense from a logical standpoint, but it’s funny to imagine lol
it's number 2 lmao, it's basically just a crack version of the other fusion au and not really made to make sense. They were basically stuck together and after a bit decided "hm maybe this is just permanent" and decided the best thing to do was to skip ahead a few years on their plans to be a hero, with their loving parents' support
but also lowkeyy... the first option is so funny and good too, I actually love that as a concept lmao. Imagine being stuck in a fusion for eight years, and growing up together, and then all the sudden you get forcefully separated and are eight years old again I bet they'd be pissed as hell
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fxirybun · 3 days
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🥂 PAC: what is your FS currently doing at the moment ?
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FS stands for "future spouse" , the person you're going to marry and create a life together. let's see as to what they're up to at this time !
this is a collective reading ! take what resonates and leave what doesn't. i cannot guarantee 100% accuracy. take the pac reading lightly ჱ̒ ー̀֊ー́ )
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ෆ⸒⸒ pile one
your future spouse is either physically or metaphorically on a journey at the moment. they may be traveling , relocating , or experiencing a transition in their life. i feel that they're currently desiring some kind of movement and how they don't want to be stuck or stay in just one place. they may also want to explore different places that they have never visited before. i'm sensing that your future spouse received some kind of letter ? perhaps a news that allows them to pursue their dreams or to leave this stagnant situation that they're facing.
this opportunity could make a significant impact on their current path. "finally" is what i'm hearing from them. i can see that your future spouse would grab this opportunity and act upon it swiftly. it's like they've been waiting for this moment to happen. there's something about an event that can give this person a sudden boost of energy within them.
i'm getting that this message came from a faraway distance ? an example would be living in a province and you receive an invitation from a city. there may be a person who lives on a different side of a country who's also close to your future spouse who decided to message them. i'm getting multiple messages. "wanna grab something for a drink ?" "there's a party over here" "you should come over".
i sensed that at first , your future spouse seemed to be thrilled to hear this exciting message yet, i'm feeling some kind of confusion coming from them. "this is new to me , i do not know this place". there's something about the location that makes them feel uncertain whether they would want to join or not. i'm also getting as to how they're wary about the people and the surrounding environment.
perhaps the kind of people who are in this place are all so "new" to them , similar to a culture shock moment. i'm receiving a scene from my head wherein the people wear very revealing clothes and how your future spouse feels a bit out of place. "blind date" it's possible that their friend is secretly setting your future spouse up with someone , not letting your future spouse know about their hidden motives.
this person could be a female or someone who has feminine qualities within them. though the "female" is more prominent in this reading. their energy leans more on the sensual side , very passionate and alluring. this person may have soft and delicate features. even so , your future spouse feels skeptical about this female figure once they meet them in person. they feel that this woman is hiding something from them or that they do not know this person at all.
after a while , your future spouse may want to know the truth from their friend as to why they're being set up with someone. they just want to have some fun and peace in their lives and not get caught up or involved with someone in a romantic setting lmao. “i thought this was supposed to be a party ? not a blind date" is what i'm getting from their energy. eventually , your future spouse would brush it off and enjoy the event throughout the night.
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ෆ⸒⸒ pile two
your future spouse is currently dealing with heavy burdens in their life at the moment. there seems to be a challenging situation in their partake and how they have the urge to weigh down their responsibilities. i sensed that they were worrying about what the others may say about them ? 'cause i'm getting the word "discussion" + the show "gossip girl" and how prominent it was in this reading. perhaps your future spouse is in a stressful conversation and how it makes them feel anxious.
oohh i'm getting something about "leaked information" ? this is some high school-level drama 😭 it's like someone found out some info about your future spouse and they decided to spread it publicly , possibly being blackmailed or some sort. because of it everyone who is in the same environment as your future spouse is chattering about the so-called rumor.
gurl wait a min-- it's definitely a false rumor because whatever this information was is so far-fetched as to what that leaker may thought of. surprisingly enough it seems that your future spouse was waiting for their medical / lab results ? something that's related to health and how they've been focusing on their well-being these days yet it was misinterpreted as something else to which i cannot seem to point it out.
"one night stand". it's like they thought that your future spouse got into contact with some kind of transmittable disease that is related to sexual acts but it's not 💀 either way , i can see how they're trying their best to ignore those rumors and decided to focus on dealing with their confidential paperwork matters. i'm getting heavy themes of long-term stability , spiritual , emotional , and physical healing.
i feel that they're also grounding themselves amidst the chaos that they're currently facing. "let me do my own thing" , yeah they don't really give a damn about what others may think about your future spouse because they know themselves better than anyone else. i sensed that they're seeking balance in their life at the moment. i remembered earlier how your future spouse is dealing with too much work which lead them to feel fatigued or tired.
they may want to resolve their burdens quitely and in a rational way, a lot of reflecting for this one. all they could ever wish for at the moment is to have me-time and be in tune with themselves , being in a state of tranquility. hoping that the rumor dies down soon and everything went back to normal.
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ෆ⸒⸒ pile three
i feel that there's a new female presence in your future spouse's life and how she's planning to take a visit. i'm also seeing them exchanging messages , emails , or texts with one another , discussing their plans for the future. it's similar to how someone is asking you as to what you're going to do after graduation. whoever this woman is , she seems to have something in her mind that she wants to talk about to your future spouse.
there's a swift movement of news that's coming on their way. it's possible that your future spouse may receive important information or messages from this female and how it is something to look forward to. perhaps there's a given opportunity or a project that was being offered to your future spouse that they may want to pursue.
i'm also sensing how this woman is trying to comfort your future spouse and how there's no romantic connection going on between the two of them. whatever this news may be it seems to be a negative one because i feel that your future spouse is experiencing some kind of worriness upon hearing it. they seem to be also stress , it's like they have lost something dear or important to them.
i'm leaning more so on their career side , it's possible that they may have been declined or rejected by a company or job that they wished to work with. for some of you , your future spouse could also be rejected by a university they hoped to attend yet their college application didn't meet what the university is looking for in a student.
"what am i supposed to do ?" there are a lot of what-ifs that are stirring your future spouse's mind at the moment. it was a once in a lifetime moment for them and when they heard about this saddened news they felt disheartened. thinking about it is gradually eroding their peace of mind and how it causes them to feel unease. they seem to want a change in their dynamic in life.
nevertheless , despite these worries that are consuming them , there will always be a light at the end of the tunnel. for as long as they remain an optimistic outlook , your future spouse will experience positive moments that are entering their life that may bring them short-term relief or satisfaction. it's possible that in the near-yet-distant future , they'll encounter an unexpected luck that aligns with their plans.
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violettwrites · 2 days
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fourth of july — tp!daryl
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summary: tp!daryl and reader celebrate fourth of july at the trailer park.
a/n: hi guys !! pls bare with me bcos i am not american and have never experienced a fourth of july— so i’m just basing this on what i’ve seen on social media and film LMAO
if you enjoyed, please give me a like, reblog, and/or comment ! don’t forget to follow me if you enjoy my stuff and want to read more 😊
warnings: swearing, mentions of alcohol
word count: 1,550
resources: divide by @adornedwithlight
➸ tp!daryl masterlist
➸ regular masterlist
➸ ask box — requests are open !
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the fourth of july at the trailer park has always been a rowdy affair for as long as you could remember. a huge bonfire would blaze in the field next to the park, kids ran wild with sparklers, and an absurd number of fireworks lit up the sky— sometimes you wondered if it was even legal. add in as much cheap beer as people could drink, and it was clear the holiday was a big deal.
you found yourself standing in the cramped kitchenette with daryl and merle, leaning against the counter as you watched the two brothers debate over what cds to play for the night.
“merle, i swear to fuckin’ god— if you ask for pantera one more time, ‘m gonna cut yer dick off,” daryl grumbled, his hands splayed on the small table, blue eyes narrowed at his older brother.
“what the fuck’s wrong with pantera!?” merle protested, looking genuinely offended.
“it’s all you listen to,” you chimed in, crossing your arms over your chest as you stepped forward to examine the pile of cds scattered across the table. you sifted through them, trying to make sense of the chaotic selection.
“there’s nothin’ wrong with listenin’ to one of the greatest bands of all time,” merle scoffed, rolling his eyes at you. you shot him a pointer glare and started organising the music into piles.
“what are ya doin’?” he asked, while daryl just stood there watching you.
“i’m deciding for you two, since you clearly can’t do it yourselves,” you replied with an exasperated huff. after a minute of sorting, you straightened up. “there. you both get a bit of what you like, but i can’t promise other people won’t complain— there’s gonna be kids, you know?”
you looked up at the brothers, raising an eyebrow. they both shrugged in unison, as if they hadn’t considered it at all. letting out a sigh, you shook your head. you had a feeling it was going to be a long night.
— — —
as the sun dipped lower into the sky, casting a fiery orange glow across the trailer park, the smell of barbecue and bonfire smoke filled the air. laughter and the occasional pop of firecrackers echoed through the grounds as more neighbours showed up, ready for the fourth of july festivities. the giant bonfire had already been lit, kids were chasing each other around with their sparklers, their excited shreks cutting through the air.
back inside the trailer, the tension between you, daryl, and merle simmered down as the playlist issue was officially resolved. daryl seemed a little more relaxed now, his gruff demeanour softening just a bit when he glanced your way.
“thanks for sortin’ that mess out,” daryl muttered low enough so merle didn’t hear. he cracked open a beer before handing you one, his fingers brushing against your own.
merle, never one to stay still for too long, grabbed a couple of the cds you’d organised. “guess i’ll take these out,” he grumbled, clearly still not thrilled with the lack of pantera, but made his way outside anyway. “y’all can figure out the rest, i’m gonna make sure people are celebratin’ properly.”
daryl gave a nod of his head toward his brothers retreating figure, causing you to let out a breath you didn’t even realise you were holding. “properly, huh? i don’t even think i wanna know what he’s up to.”
daryl shook his head, the corner of his lips twitching into the faintest smirk. “means he’s gonna get drunker than hell and try to light more fireworks than the kids.”
you chuckled softly, rolling your eyes as you leaned against the counter, beer in hand, watching as daryl settled into the chair across the small kitchenette, his usual brooding expression easing. the sounds of the party outside filtered in, but in here, it was just the two of you, the tension of the chaotic party slowly bleeding away in the quiet moments.
“y’know,” you said after a beat, swirling the beer in your hand. “for all the crazy shit that happens every fourth of july, i kinda like it.”
daryl’s eyes met yours, something soft and unreadable flickering in them for a moment. “yeah, ain’t so bad. ‘specially with you ‘ere.”
your heart gave a small flutter at his words, and before you could respond, there was a loud bang outside, followed by a chorus of whoops and hollers. you both shared a glance— merle was definitely up to something already.
“wanna see what kinda trouble your brother’s gotten into already?” you ask with a grin, pushing off the counter and heading towards the door.
daryl rolled his eyes but stood up. “better make sure he ain’t blown off a hand yet.”
the sun had fully set by the time you and daryl stepped outside to join in on the festivities, a chorus of laughter and fireworks filling the air. merle, true to his word, was already in the thick of it— his rowdy voice carrying over the crowd as he set off firecrackers dangerously close to a group of onlookers.
“jesus,” you muttered under your breath, watching as a few sparks nearly hit someone. daryl shook his head beside you, but you noticed the slightest hint of a smirk pulling at his lips.
“he’s gonna blow ‘imself up one day,” daryl grumbled, though it was clear he wasn’t too concerned. you chuckled, judging him lightly with your elbow.
“maybe one of these years he’ll learn to take it easy.”
“doubt it,” daryl replied, taking a sip from his beer before glancing at you. “you wanna sit down or somethin’? could use a break from all this shit.”
you nodded, grateful for the idea. the two of you wove through the crowd towards the bonfire, it’s flames flickering wildly in the night. a few lawn chairs had been set up in a circle, mostly occupied by people chatting or shouting at each other over the sound of music and fireworks.
daryl dragged over an empty chair and motioned for you to take it. “‘ere.”
you raised an eyebrow. “you’re not sitting?”
“i will,” he said, grabbing another chair from a nearby stack and setting it next to your chair. he plopped down on it, looking as casual as ever with his forearms resting on his knees.
as you both settled in, the chaotic energy of the trailer park seemed to face, replaced by the crackling of the fire and the occasional whistle of fireworks overhead. for a while, the two of you just sat there, enjoying the warmth of the flames and the cool night air. there was something peaceful about it— being close to daryl in the middle of all the noise.
after a while, he leaned over slightly, his voice low. “ya know, i ain’t much for crowds. but this—“ he gestured vaguely to the people around, “ain’t so bad with you.”
you smiled, his quiet compliment sending a warmth through you that had nothing to do with the bonfire. “same here,” you said softly, free hand to reach for his so you could intertwine your fingers with his.
the two of you watched the fire, and for a moment, everything else seemed to melt away. you could help but steal a glance at him— his sharp features softened in the firelight, his usual rough edges not so intimidating now. he noticed you looking, meeting your gaze with a raised brow.
“somethin’ on my face?”
you laughed softly, shaking your head. “just thinkin’. can’t believe you get stuck dealing with merle on nights like this.”
“someone’s gotta keep him from burnin’ the whole damn place down,” daryl chuckled lightly, looking at you.
“guess that makes you the responsible one, huh?” you teased, taking a sip of your beer.
daryl smirked, tilting his head slightly. “don’ know ‘bout that.”
you were about to respond when another loud crack erupted in the distance, followed by a round of cheers. merle was lighting off more fireworks— ones that shot high into the air and exposed in brilliant colours. the sky filled with bursts of red, blue, and gold, reflecting off the faces of everyone watching.
as the night went on, laughter and music filled the air once again, and you realized this moment—this feeling—was exactly what you loved about these gatherings. with daryl by your side, it felt like home, even amidst the chaos of the celebrations.
the two of you settled into your seats, fingers still intertwined, as the night unfolded around you. you exchanged glances, each one filled with unspoken understanding and warmth. fireworks continued to light up the sky, their vibrant colors reflected in the excitement of the crowd.
“you think merle’s got any more tricks up his sleeve?” you asked, a playful grin spreading across your face.
daryl chuckled softly, shaking his head. “if he does, we’ll be in for quite a show.”
you leaned back in your chair, the warmth of the bonfire wrapping around you like a comforting blanket. the sounds of laughter and celebration filled your senses, and for a moment, everything felt perfect. you couldn’t wait to see what other memories the night would bring, knowing that whatever happened, you were right where you wanted to be—with daryl, enjoying the wildness of the fourth of july together.
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k-atsukibakugou · 2 days
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[prologue] — after another date ruined by your needy roommate, fifteenth to be exact, you hatch a revenge plot that'll either end with you moving out or finally scratching the itch that's been driving you insane.
w/c: 1.2k warning/s: f!reader, making out notes: i am having so much fun imagining annoying this man to death — don't expect serious storytelling here lmao inspo/acknowledgements: loosely inspired by how to lose a guy in 10 days + what's your number (rom-com/chick flick vibes)
crossposted to ao3 • masterlist • wip updates & voting • kofi • askbox
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fourteen. that's how many times your roommate had called you mid-date, mid hookup, god, even mid-masturbation in the time you'd been living under the same roof.
"what could you possibly want?" you hope he can't hear your panting, hope he doesn't hear your dates chuckle, hardly muffled by your hand pressed over his mouth, your other tucking the phone snugly between your shoulder and ear, reaching between your thighs for your dates belt with your now-free hand.
"is that any way to speak to a friend in need?" you roll your eyes, his voice thick over the phone as he lazily spoke, you could practically hear that infuriating smile he always had plastered on his lips through the technology. your hips jump, the deep sound zapping through your nerves; already pent up from kissing after… you can't even remember how many months without a date ending like this.
breathless, you respond in a tone you hope has at least a little venom threaded through it, more than a little irritation, "spit it out, aiku."
"need your key, i locked mine inside." your body slacks on top of the brunet beneath you, defeat filling you, your head falling forward with a silent groan, "you're kidding, right?"
fifteen.
he chuckles at your despair, a deep sound that echoes down the line, sounding just as unapologetic as he truly is, "sorry, pretty, you'll be good, won't you?"
tonight might be the night you kill him.
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you'd had roommates before, accustomed to the arguments about chores, about mess, about bills, about noise, meeting eye-to-eye with oliver on every issue. the only problem with your apparent heaven-sent roommate? his habit of interrupting your dates, of cock-blocking you, leaving you at some level of unsatisfied the entire time you shared the apartment — some weeks it was bearable, more like a dull ache in your stomach, others having you about to claw and scratch at the walls.
"call me? we can do this again some other time?" leaning over the threshold, you press a final, sultry kiss to the brunet's lips, sliding a slip of paper with your number in it into his pocket as you did; your hope at a rain check diminishing the moment you step back, your date already tucking his belt back into its loops, thick fingers that were just gripping your thighs already tapping at his phone screen, the familiar pink and white flame symbol beneath his thumb.
you watched number fifteen slip through your fingers, probably the most attractive of all the men aiku had ripped away from you.
the final man, you decide.
you're almost certain your passenger rating had suffered dearly from all of your frustrated, angry mumbling as you sent hushed rant after hushed rant to your friends about how absurd your roommate is on your way back to the shared apartment (omitting some of the details about your intense need after making out for twenty minutes, mostly for the sake of your driver), most of them responding with meaningless gushing about how he at least was kind enough to give you free shows, the muscular expanse of his back something burned into all their minds after aiku crashed your pre-gaming session once after returning home from a game. one of them (uselessly) advising you to just bed aiku instead.
by the time the car had turned the final corner to your place, you'd stewed in your anger for too long, tossing your keys at oliver a little too hard when you face him, just after nine. he catches them (only infuriating you more, sure a vein is about to burst). he looks good, still in his clothes from the gym if you had to guess, a black shirt that clung to his biceps, and shorts that made his thighs more like tree limbs than human ones (only infuriating you more). he quirks a dark eyebrow at you, twirling the keys around his finger before sliding them into the lock.
"do you plan this?" trailing in behind him, dragging your feet as you do, you tug your keys back out of the door, too annoyed, too frustrated to even care about your roommate lifting the tight shirt over his head, gripping the collar at the back of his neck to pull it off, shoulder blades flexing and rippling with every movement, no matter how minute.
"plan what?" oliver shouts from his bedroom, keeping the door ajar, awaiting your answer as he changes.
"do you know how many men you've scared off?" you throw yourself down onto the couch dramatically, "have you bugged my phone or something? hack it so you can call me the moment i’m with a guy?" 
oliver's face splits into a grin, his expression only described as proud, mismatched eyes glimmering as he tightened the watch on his wrist, "hack you?" 
reaching for a decorative cushion, one you’d bought months ago to make the flat less of a bachelor pad, you bury your face in it, half to muffle your loud groan, half to avoid looking at him, now in slacks and a shirt you’re sure is a size too small, following every sharp plane of his shoulders, chest and hips, the top three buttons left undone to show off the tanned muscles beneath that he spent hours working on. the maddening sound of his laugh still invaded your senses, despite the stuffing around your ears.
it's like it was a talent, to sense when he was unwanted, when you were inches away from sating your craving, when all you wanted to forget all about his stupid face, his stupid deep voice, his stupid smug laugh. 
"maybe you have a sixth sense, like that kid who sees ghosts." 
"i think of it more as happy accidents." oliver dodges the cushion, his hand coming up to fix his hair as the other tosses the cushion back towards you, landing square on your chest as you groan childishly again at him. 
stupid face, stupid voice, stupid laugh, stupid reflexes. 
you track him as he moves around the apartment, eyebrows drawn down in a fiery glare as he tosses his shed clothes into the washing machine. the apartments tidy, you note, catching a glimpse of his spotless bedroom from the corner of your eye, his bed sheets crisp and pulled tightly over the mattress, pillows fluffed, every inch vacuumed and dusted.
the oliver you knew was never this clean, he pulled his weight but it’s not as if your apartment looked this brand new often. the oliver that had left no less than four sweaty shirts in the back of your car when he'd change after begging you to pick him up from training on your way home from work, the same oliver that had a varied collection of abandoned water bottles typically adorning his bedside table. this was different than tidy, there wasn't asign of mess anywhere in the apartment, counters freshly cleaned in the kitchen, still sparkling beneath the kitchen lights, not even a speck of dust along the top of the tv screen. 
it was immature, completely, utterly foolish, there's no other word for your decision, but it's impossible to talk yourself out of it as you study him, returning from the immaculate bedroom smelling musky, woody, expensive.
a happy accident he called it? your celibacy while he dates and fucks anyone he wants? while you suffer week after week with your ache growing stronger, your toys hardly working for you any more.
you refuse to see that arrogant, satisfied smile plastered on his face again.
“got a hot date tonight, aiku?”
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© all works belong to @k-atsukibakugou, @gwen0m, and dlirious on archive of our own, do not plagiarise, translate, repost, feed my works into ai or recommend my work on other platforms, or bind my fanworks for sale.
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foxlin-fantasia · 1 year
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💫 14 associations : Hanaka Houjou
tagged by @archaiclumina & @reconditerune !! ty!
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🌸 animal: red squirrels. ( i genuinely couldn’t think of anything & asked my gf. it’s canon now ig /shrug ) for a ff based creature, she’d be a red chocobo or a tabby coeurl kit. 
🌸 color: pink! coral & rose pink are p distinct on her, but i also think pearlescent white, warm-toned colors, + gold accents are also fitting.
🌸 song: fellow feeling by porter robinson ( most things made by porter are a vibe tbh but THIS song?? oof from the lyrics alone; almost like i could hear the words being said as her own. the sound itself is v modern, but the initial calm that turns into chaos all contrasts so well against with what is being said in the song & kind of silhouettes what i imagine it must feel like for Hanaka to use her Echo / aetheric abilities?? it’s intense, maybe a bit scary to witness. she is incredibly strong when her power is wielded deftly, but it’s a painful process. also her h/c’d english VA* *subject to change is doing the speaking in the song! it’s all v good!! )
🌸 number: 2. She likes multiples of two. She usually prefers to go second in most things in her life, letting someone else take the lead so she can learn from their example. She is the kind to observe first, then act; always preferring a one-two step kind of plan.
🌸 day or night: she is the early morning, specifically the hours of 3~5 AM, when the world sleeps & the stars shine brightest. She is like dawn break over the horizon, shooing the stars to their beds with her sun-like smile. She is the comfort of knowing you’ve survived another night, the bleary sky a meld of purples & pinks into new day blues or early morning golds, dotted with flickering stars who will soon rest behind the fluffy clouds. Hanaka loves the night skies, but she herself is very much the dawn.
🌸 plant: victoria rose forget-me-nots; felt like a fitting plant, as a lot of her WoL narrative deals with remembering / seeing / sharing memories with others. pink flowers for bonus points!
🌸 smell: initially, she smells like the plum & cherry blossoms she likes to use as her daily accessories. Her true scent is of Othardian poppies, Doman black tea, ginger root, natural musk, & a touch of something sweet akin to a marshmallow. ( it’s my headcanon that Hanaka just… always smells good lol because of her ability to sprout flowers from her body to heal herself & she is also just very well-groomed when able! )
🌸 gemstone: angel aura quartz, pearl, or argyle ( pink ) diamond!
🌸 season: late winter to early spring, right after the deep winter frost thaws; still cold outside but the snow is melting, maybe an occasional snow flurry. The plum trees have blossomed & warmer seasons are on their way; bird calls return to the mornings again, signaling the end of hibernation. The crisp air smells of rebirth & sweetness.
🌸 place: Yanxia. She was born in a small farming village beyond the Glittering Basin, now lost to war & time.
🌸 food: hanami dango ( her favorite dango flavor is azim strawberry! )
🌸 eorzean deity: i associate her with Azeyma ( mostly due to aesthetics ), though her patron is Althyk! Althyk makes more sense for her narratively imo.
🌸 eorzean element(s): earth, the element of substance & endurance. Her abilities draw from this element the most!
🌸 drink: maehwa-cha ( plum blossom tea )
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i tag: @uldahstreetrat , @crowdsourcedloner , @cindernet-explorer, @petitfarron , @gatheredfates , @evuniel & whomever else is wanting to! ( also no obligation to those tagged do this either ofc )
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shannonsketches · 21 days
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#dbtag#silly hours#god#I feel like that's a really clear and consistent thing throughout the entirety of the manga but OTL leave it to Toei!!!!#lays on the floor I wish people were less afraid of letting “good guys” be flawed and selfish and reckless without having to like.#idk vilify them?#like Goku does and always has had a ton of negative qualities about him but what keeps him a protag and what keeps those negatives charming#is that 1) he never promises to be anything Else. If you're upset by his behavior that's a you problem Goku's just doing Goku#He's only upset when Other People get hurt because 2) almost none of those negative qualities contain any malice whatsoever#even as a kid when he was 'i killed that guy' it was like 'i solved a problem why are you mad (gen)' not 'good fucking riddance lol'#and he kept that as an adult too even when he learned more about compassion he's still 'well if you're not gonna stop i have to kill you'#it's never 'fuck off and die' it's always 'listen buddy either you knock it off or i knock you out there is no option c '#and god i love that Goku. I spent so long thinking I hated Goku growing up but I only hated Toei's Goku. Toriyama's Goku is GREAT.#like look if an antagonist is just a hero with the wrong perspective a hero is just a villain with the right one#and the fact that Goku has all of the qualities of a villain with none of the malice or intention makes him SO POWERFUL as a character#Goku doesn't like bystanders getting hurt. That doesn't make him less chaotic and self-centered and simplistic in his worldview.#A hero sacrifices his loved ones to save the world -- a villain sacrifices the world to save his loved ones --#Goku sacrifices himself because you cannot kill him in any way that matters#idskahds anyway here's another essay in the tags for your wednesday evening scroll#the justification the interviewer gave was that the anime was for kids but my beef with that is that Hero Tropes strip chaotic characters#of their emotions. Goku's conflicts are emotional. Goku's power is emotional. Goku's childlikeness keep him authentically emotional.#MORE kids -- ESPECIALLY little boys -- deserve a male protagonist who leans into his emotions to persevere and win.#Super deciding his “angelic state” would kill him makes me want to tear my hair out lmao Goku's EMOTIONS are too strong to hold it.#you could've just asked toriyama about it why'd you decide on the most basic high-stakes shorthand possible OTL#aNYWAY#media analysis#in the tags at least lol
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p1x1x · 4 months
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#momonina#kindof. embarrassed to post this one bc its just pure fluff lmao… theyre so LAME in this pic (/j)#i can hear mmk going ったく…#nn’s outfits are always soooo cute though#waaaaaah i love the fashion….#miiiight color it though..#edit incoming#future pix here#mmnn#<- decided the drawings of the two of em can have momonina in them but if it leans more romo than plato it has mmnn#bc i rotate them in my head so fast#but as the days pass i get really crazy over them being Not Romantic but still More than That#im losing my Mind tbh#the only thing im certain of is that mmk is definitely a lesbian all things considered like look at her LMAO#everytime i rewatch i do consider how gay her actions are...???#(i've been rotating mmnn around in my mind since ep 1 tbh... the codependency was tempting...!)#but i keep thinking abt mmk herself saying “i saw my past self in you” in like. ep 2 already... and it would linger in my mind#i had written in my notes a While back#like when ep 4 was airing#that it just felt like mmk was trying to be kind to her past self ykno#because she believed that the her now... had failed in her dream#so yknow... by giving the guitar she was trying to have nn continue that dream for her (leading into mmk “guiding nn”)#ofc nn gives back her guitar though and i thank that person on twitter everyday for putting it so well#LIKE AGHHH THEIR MEETING WAS FATE BUT THE ACTIONS THEY TOOK TO PULL EACH OTHER UP... KILL ME!!!!#the choices they make regarding themselves... of staying true to themselves... hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgjhg#idk how many people will see this edit so im just treating it like the void (haha Void) here#(i've made that joke multiple times to myself now#i still think about. how mmnn were drawn to the honesty of each other#and yet. didnt exactly recognize each other as an actual person yet?#nn loved void and so loved mmk for creating it and saving her life. so mmk was a savior to her
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voidimp · 4 months
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are you enjoying your um. birthday dinner
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maddieandangel · 5 months
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Had a weird Hollow Knight-related dream a couple days ago, so I decided to draw a major scene I remembered from it dgsgshf
More context will be in the tags, for those interested!
#hollow knight#little ghost#hk ghost#the knight#hk hornet#hornet#alright. as of writing these tags it's been a week since the original dream so! let's see what i remember dgsgsgf#i was playing a game. which was a sequel to hollow knight ((Not silksong though))#there was some new sort of divine infection in hallownest and hornet had asked ghost to investigate it. they ended the last one after all!#the red glowy spike gate thingy is what you jumped into to enter the 'infected' areas#though it actually led directly to a hub world type of place. which was kinda like an expanded base for the grimm troupe?#more like an entire lair instead of a camp. also some greek gods were there for some reason lmao. they had their own special rooms too#so sidenote but- new headcanon that there are grimm troupe members named ares athena artemis &... venus lmao. not aphrodite for some reason#also monomon was there?? i think??? except she was cooking????? she had a sidequest to deliver something to someone though i dunno hdgfhdgh#i remember going back to the grimm troupe lair a couple times throughout my 'playthrough'#anyway. the 'infection' this time around was more of a glitchy physical corruption thing? rather than a mind corruption.#though there were still aggressive enemies to fight. but i remember getting a map from cornifer early on and he was. probably infected#i think part of his body was covered in electricity or something? so he wasn't fully visible? but he was still acting normally#there was also a moth who was the seer but then later wasn't the seer (but was still the same moth) dghgdhf. i delivered stuff to her#that glowing white wall thing in the drawing was like a one-way gate. you could only cross it from the other side and ghost came from there#i guess things looped back up somehow i dunno ghdgfhgf#anyway. ghost's red eyes. those are significant! those happened while i was walking through a corridor. it had pools of shallow water#(shallow enough to just walk through) and also creatures that were lightseeds but red.the implication was that they were full of Blood lmao#and as i went along killing them--as one does--as i walked through the hall. they started turning the water red too#there was also narration about this as it was happening ashdgsf. specifically the narrator said the water turned red before it actually did#ghost's eyes slowly turned red too. but aside from that they were fine! since. they're the player character and the player is perfectly fin#BUT. when they encountered hornet again. she thought they were infected. and that she lost the only family she had left </3#she didn't attack though. instead she just jumped into the red spike gate without a word. decided to try to fix everything herself#but eventually you'd encounter her again down below and she'd fight you. didn't actually get to that in the dream though#aand i'm out of tags </3 i wanted to talk about what i'd do to make this make more sense as an au or something now that i'm awake but. :c
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triglycercule · 8 days
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thinking about mtt literally physically dragging eachother down and being restrained to eachother because theyre genuinely that fucking ass for eachother but then it means i'd have to decide which of them to humiliate by putting a collar on them. and i can't choose. if they dont all equally suffer than whats the point man 🙁🙁🙁
#i think they'd all have interesting reactions to it 2#like a permanent collar that cant be taken off. to make even more gruesome what if it were like built into the BONE????#or it could just be something less extreme like bone carvings. killer would absolutely do that shit#anyways i think horror would be the most reactive to it. anger is the most intriguing emotion#and also dog horror real. anyways he'd hate to be demeaned and disrespected like that. he has an ego and honor man and this is cutting it#dust drags him around constantly. killer pets him and disregards his boundaries. like a fucking DOG#because horror hates kist enough that he'd never let them get vulnerable enough. not that it stops killer LMAO#dust thinks some of horrors hatred towards them is a projection of his own self hatred (and hed lowkey be right)#loser. dust i think would be unique because to me he'd be a bit fine with it#i mean i think itd be hidden under paps scarf so it wouldn't be a constant reminder of horror n killer#but he lets the two hold the leash at least a bit. give him an eensy bit of touch and let a few insults slide#but the second he decides that even the smallest thing is enough he gets ticked off and then yk. someone has to put bunny back in his place#because dust is chill enough to let normal things in his eyes pass. he's not very reactionary or the type to immediately bite back#(since dust would just avoid horror and killer if he did meet them. means he has some sort of tolerance for them. keeping his peace fr)#but the moment hes reminded that god these two do suck and i shouldn't be letting this happen all of the held back anger comes out#killer would seek out the force and stuff. horror would treat him like shit because it makes himself feel good and killer look like an idio#dust doesn't even glance at him though and it pisses killer off. both of their actions do actually#like WTF DUST you guys literally put this on me. treat me like the piece of shit i know you think i am#but also STOP HORROR!!!! dont pull me around and demean me im not a pet i dont want to be treated that way even tho i say it do#yeah hes caught in a standstill. AND SO AM I do you see my issue. cannot pick one specific#all the trio would have such interesting reactions i cant just choose one to solely suffer......... anyways mttpoly am i right#should i tag this. like majority of the interesting stuff is in tags. but also i didnt post today i have a duty#dust sans#killer sans#horror sans#murder time trio#utmv#tricule rant#this just ended up being me thinking about mtt with collars. maaan what about handcuffs and chains and other restrictive things#having them have restraining relationship isnt enough i need them to PHYSICALLY RESTRAIN EACHOTHER
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haarute · 22 days
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something i realized in the recent years is that while my mom is a very nice person and i can understand why she is the way that she is sometimes, she had a history of always dismissing and throwing away things that were important to me, and in hindsight that certainly had an effect on both my trust in her and how much i was willing to ever share, and also just turned me into a dumpster goblin because i just gave up on ever having nice things so why bother ever caring about my personal space at all ✌️ i'll just live in the filth because we'll never have anything better after all !!
#i remember i used to have a bunch of cool anime and game posters i collected over many cons for a couple of years#and one day i just came back to my bedroom being fully repainted and everything was thrown out#same with some figures i got. i had a nice bleach collection and they were all broken due to rough cleaning#some just straight up gone because haha who cares they're just toys toss em out#and it was a situation of if i complained i would only get dismissed as being pissy about stupid things. so i just. didn't.#i just accepted it and decided ''i guess i'm not getting anything again'' and didn't even bother going to cons after that lmao#now that i'm in my late 20s i'm FINALLY buying cool physical items for myself and not letting anyone even come close to my room#and a part of me feels guilty about spending. but like... yeah no.#i deserve that 1/8 makise kurisu figure i found the other day. or gunpla. or mtg cards. or manga collections. i can do whatever i want.#and i should also be retroactively pissed at how dismissive everyone was over my belongings because#EVEN IF they were all silly unimportant items. i was like 15. why would you throw away a kid's belongings like that. even if “dumb.”#not to mention how unimportant i was already feeling at the time. none of this helped.#and i was fully convinced that yeah this is what my life should be like. i don't want to be selfish so. i'll just embrace minimalism.#that is what i deserve.#which only later as an adult after i started comparing my experiences to other people i realized#hey. what the fuck was that.#do you guys really not remove all of the layers that make you human??
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bonestrouslingbones · 1 month
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btw one of the things i want to do when i really rap up atbb for real is spontaneously get the energy at will to do actual updated fullbodies of the main 4 since now i actually have the ability to draw them the way they look in my head & have the skills to put some more variety in their shapes. basically i wanna
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#warning big character design rambling in these tags but like. were u expecting any less#if ur wondering what changed-#first of all everybody has bigger hands bc i'm actively deciding to commit to that decision because i like it :3#next russ is a bit taller . i'll probably change some other things like making his armor look more solid & making him look more frail#-without it but i dont wanna pick up my tablet rn so thats all i feel like editing with my mouse lmao#edge has the biggest changes mostly in just being Wider. i want to make him Look stronger yknow#currently its just one of those annoying “skinny anime girl actually has 2d spraypainted abs and can lift a truck” tropes that i Hate#its a lil too many triangles when he should really be more like a triangle-flavored square. yknow#that being said the weirdly feminine hips were not intentional but only time will tell if they make it into the actual final design or not#i will not be making his pauldrons wider than they were originally. those things are already wacking everything around him they're fine#fluff's change is just being a bit skinnier so he looks more pathetic and sad. probably gonna try to make him look a bit younger too#but age is hard to represent with skeletons from The Land Of Sharp Features#i might also change up his pants/shoes more idk. Baggy Everything makes a very difficult silhouette and the boots are just boring tbhh#they're the bi flag but i dont think a single person has ever noticed lmao#and stretch's biggest change is that he's going to Have A Fullbody Reference That Isn't From 2019#probably make his hoodie longer/looser so i can make the transition to the leggings less awkward & show off his tank under it a bit more#the leggings & sneakers get to stay tho i think. the red wraps the design up well & the chicken legs are funny to me :>#and karma isn't here but he'll probably also get an update to be more square as well. and NOT SKINNYYYYYY#i gotta cram some more emotional repression & inferiority complex hints into his outfit so his post-void look contrasts more its IMPORTANT#AND ALSO NEVER USE UNDERTALE SPRITES AS A REFERENCE FOR ARMOR EVER EVER EVER AGAIN#that being said im really excited to one day finally sit down and draw his post-void design i think i'll have fun with that one#theres a reason my sf bros dont really fit their “roles” in the au yet like undyne & alphys do. hehehe#basically to sum up all these tags: becoming more skilled at art is a curse because you KNOW you can do things better now
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carcarrot · 3 months
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well that was a shortlived good feeling about my job
#maybe i should just become unemployed. maybe i should just suffer!#recap of todays further events .#that supervisor? who i kinda didnt already like but now absolutely hate?#she came down to confirm that i wasnt leaving. okay . and then she fucking tells me#oh we're going to get another person to help out from this other company. we were going to do that bc we thought you were leaving#but she thinks that even if im staying there should be another person on this floor. bc apparently more has to be done#and there are 'constant complaints' abt this floor . which doesnt make sense to me bc there shouldnt be#and so we're waiting to see what the manager decides but hes on fucking vacation and wont get back until. next week??#she said she was gonna email him and like right after she left i emailed and texted him explaining everything#and trying to very nicely say hey what the fuck are you doing you don't need to hire anyone else#and if im doing a bad job fucking tell me so i can do it better. bitch#and she had the nerve to fucking tell me when she was talking to me#that i wont find an easier job than this one#well if its so fucking easy why are we hiring someone else#by the way getting that extra person from this other company doesnt cost them anything which is why theyre doing it i think#which is making me not feel good abt my own future lmao. like why would they keep paying me when they can get someone for free#and she was saying all this stuff like oh you have it so good here we dont write you up i do all this stuff to help you like . ok#i didnt ask you to come downstairs w the coffee order and if you wanted me to i would come up . god#but the thing of me not being able to find a better job like wow! what if i killed you. for saying that to my face#and she talks abt how shes been w the company 20 years ok and that doesnt give you an excuse to treat me like a child. jesus#anyway im very pissed off and not enjoying my work situation lol. i dont wanna do this anymore#but looking at other jobs im so unemployable. sigh
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hm
thinking of my blorbos but not in a "i love you you love me all is well" way but a "i love you hope you kill me" way lol
#cylas vents#negativity#negative#death wish#lmao#bitches be like '[potentially concerning thing]' and then add 'lol' as if it's funny or a joke lmao#like i mean technically it's not but then again it is bc it's me. like yeah don't worry don't take this seriously don't mind me ok#it doesn't really matter anyway kk. or maybe it's more like I'm the joke.#like idk the thought that like most of my f/os would probably kill me on sight should be less comforting than it is i guess#imagine casually making posts like this and still being like 'ok but maybe im not actually mentally ill maybe im faking maybe im lying to#myself maybe im making excuses maybe im imagining things maybe im just lazy' etc etc#none of the antidepressants since fluoxetine decided it's over have done shit and even my psychiatrist now is always like 'hm. so do you#want to keep trying other things' and like yeah what else can i do? therapy didnt do anything for this specific issue and the tagesklinik#lady didnt really seem to get my issue (well her suggestions for like therapy groups or whatever were more about socialising or whatever#like ??? girl that's really not the main problem here lmao but she also did have a point about how i would have to actually go there every#day etc but like#what else am i supposed to do#hi i am always tired and sometimes struggle to even get out of bed and thats why i worry about getting a job or something bc it could become#too much or whatever but like unfortunately thats kind of a requirement for everything lmao#when psychiatrist asks what i want/expect or whatever i am internally like 'a magic pill that just fixes everything and makes me a normal#functional human being' but like that's just not A Thing (tm)#so. like. what else am i supposed to do.#i don't want to be like this forever#idk how to tag lmai#using stuff like#tw suicidality#tw suicidal#tw suicidal ideation#just feels so over the top and like i dont have the right to use them lol
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behold my totally sensical dynamic diagram. from aus that everyone knows about. yeah
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