#otherwise it just turns into 'criticizing the characters for... being fictional characters in a half-hour fantasy TV show'

[agentnico]

The Holdovers (2023) Review

Gosh, I do miss snow. Not something we get much of here in the dreary old UK. So thank you Alexander Payne for really rubbing it in our face.

Plot: A curmudgeonly instructor at a New England prep school remains on campus during Christmas break to babysit a handful of students with nowhere to go. He soon forms an unlikely bond with a brainy but damaged troublemaker, and with the school's head cook, a woman who just lost a son in the Vietnam War.

Payne’s last movie 2017’s Downsizing was an underwhelming mess, with an interesting concept that is dropped within the first half hour, and instead of the fun science fiction/biting social satire we get a movie dealing with real-world dangers and a random apocalypse for reasons I don’t believe even Alexander Payne knows. It was very much a movie that was not conceived or thought out properly, hence why it was a flop financially and critically. And I didn’t like it myself, which is the worst of it all. So many may be doubting checking out Payne’s new film The Holdovers, however luckily this is a return to form for the talented scriptwriter/director, as pushed aside are any high concepts and instead we get a simple premise, yet it’s one that’s delivered in such an entertaining and heartwarming way.

The Holdovers is very much a vibes movie. It has that old-timey retro feel to it from how it is shot to make it look like it’s from the 70s (reminiscent of John Hughes films and Dead Poets Society). You also have the constant snow falling and the Christmas music just really delivers that cozy winter feel. It’s a wholesome Christmas movie through and through. Which is ironic due to two of the three main characters being absolute asses, but it’s the way the narrative forces these three characters to be stuck together by themselves over the holiday period, and how they develop from this that results in a very delightful little film. Also, having your main characters have flawed personas doesn’t always work with certain films, for as an audience it is easy to disconnect if you don’t at all sympathize with the characters you follow, however here Alexander Payne successfully manages to make you care about them by showcasing that at the end of the day, they are all just human, and through their dickishness they do still have some redeemable qualities too. Boasted by David Hemingson's very well-written script - some good wit and humour throughout, but also it’s the emotional backbone with the film reflectively diving into themes of grief and loneliness. It’s a dialogue-centric feature but one that easily wraps itself around you as you enjoy spending time with these characters.

Paul Giamatti is fantastic here. Giamatti always delivers a great performance, heck, even in the forgettable disaster CGI fest film San Andreas he managed to somehow deliver a solid turn as the climate professor, delivering endless exposition and science mumbo jumbo with such passion and vigor that one wouldn’t have questioned it if he got nominated for a Noble Prize. But with The Holdovers he finally gets to take on a lead role and he’s phenomenal. He’s very reserved as this Scrooge type who’s very bitter at life and life is bitter at him. Like it’s still Giamatti being Giamatti, yet you truly buy into his performance. Dominic Sessa as the troublesome kid too plays his part well, and in fact his performance mirrors a lot of what Giamatti is doing with that feeling that he is willing to help others, but he is also so stuck in his own ways and pissed off at the world that he constantly makes bad decisions. Da’Vine Joy Randolph brings so much to her role as a grieving mother and as such I do wish the movie did more with her character. There is only one real scene where she’s given rein to really portray the grief, anger and distress of her character but otherwise is written a bit one note, so I do wish Payne gave her more to work with as Randolph really brings it, but I also understand the movie’s intentions and focus were more on the professor and the student. That being said for Randolph to go from the crude Christmas comedy Office Christmas Party to another Christmas movie but one where she really brings her dramatic chops is very impressive. Now all she needs is to appear in a holiday-themed horror flick and she’s fully become the holiday movie queen!

In terms of negatives, there aren’t many. As I mentioned, Randolph’s character could have been explored more. Also, the film’s narrative is very predictable; again, just think of Dead Poets Society. However, Payne so successfully tells this story and delivers a heartwarming nostalgic experience that it’s hard not to love. It’s been a while since we’ve had a perfect old-school well-spirited Christmas movie, and luckily The Holdovers is destined to become a holiday classic.

Overall score: 8/10

[pearlcaddy]

for those times when it feels like fans might have lost track of the medium/genre of the source material a wee bit

+ bonus:

[raymondebidochonlifechoices]

All fans are equal but some are more equal than others. NOT.

There’s been quite a few people in the fandom lately getting very stressed, feeling they’re obligated to constantly be on the defensive re: their fandom choices.

Apparently, whoever has a different opinion about a character or a ship must be said character’s/ship’s stan i.e. overzealous and/or obsessive, i.e. not an objective viewer. Even worse, they must be a dreadful person, who condones a number of moral offences that said character/ship perpetrated (or is thought to have perpetrated). Because, of course, the only acceptable reason for appreciating/enjoying a fictional character or dynamic is their morality. And, by that reasoning, fans who support the correct character/ship must be better fans and better people.

Nothing is more ridiculous than the notion of the objective fan. An “objective” fan is called a “viewer”. You and I, Riverdale friends, we are not just viewers. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have created blogs and dedicated hours of our lives to a fictional couple from an extremely mediocre show. We are still undoubtedly capable of critical thought and objective analysis but we are also aware of our own emotional investment in the show. (Or, at least, one hopes). As a fandom, we engage in activities that exist independently of the show. Fandom is a space of free expression. No one gets to play the higher moral card here. Needing to loudly tell everybody how wrong they are? That’s not the sign of an objective viewer. That’s the sign of a viewer who is also extremely invested, just for different reasons than I am.

Are we seriously holding the morality card over people’s heads for a show that used a poc woman’s pregnancy (Toni) as the means to retroactively establish trauma for a white male (Kevin), all the while touting it in every media possible as a woke response to the BLM movement?!

Are we seriously holding the canon card over people’s heads for a show that treats its 5th(!) season as a tabula rasa?! If the Lodges new backstory in 5x12 shows anything, it’s that s5 is not a time-jump. It’s a reboot.

There are so many people “enlightening” others on their inability to understand canon …

Seriously? That’s the hill you’re willing to die on? Canon Riverdale? You think that people don’t understand what they’re watching? That they’re interpreting canon incorrectly?

No, but seriously: canon for a TV show consists of what the characters say, what the characters do and how the actors portray them. Does this really apply to Riverdale?

Let’s take Donna for example.

Canon explicitly tells us Donna did what she did to avenge her grandmother. At the same time none of her canon actions were against the people who were actually responsible. So, riddle me this, fandom friends: why did Donna do what she did, as per canon?

Let’s try this another way:

Donna is a psycho bitch. Both in terms of Riverdale’s canon (the writers’ intention) and real-life criteria. To create a tag that reads “Bonna for ever uwu!” is deranged.

On the other hand, her character is (like a lot of Riverdale’s characters) an inconsistent caricature. Canon uses ridiculous dialogue and a lot of the Bonna scenes are cartoonishly enemies-to-lovers tropey. To create a tag that reads “Bonna for ever uwu!” is hilarious.

This doesn’t mean that Bonna is a canon couple. It does mean, however, that a Bonna crackship is based on Riverdale’s campy and over-the-top canonic writing.

A viewer who thinks Bonna is disgusting is not more “objective” or more “correct” or more “true to canon” than a viewer who thinks Bonna is funny. Nor are they a better person for it, and this cannot be stressed enough.

Similarly, who is canon Cheryl?

1. Cheryl is an absolute bitch: if a privileged student was calling an actual homeless boy a hobo in your real-life school, you would neither think her a queen nor use “hobo” affectionately in your tags, comments etc.

2. Cheryl is a deeply traumatized person: her father killed her brother, her mother killed half the town and forced her in conversion therapy, she attempted suicide and more.

(Note #1: this more does not mean more than the other Riverdale characters).

(Note #2: nor is it an excuse for her rudeness, affectionately called “mood for chaos” by the writers).

3. Cheryl is also a caricature of the archetypal mean girl who’s there for laughs and meta comments. She’s not to be taken seriously.

4. Cheryl is lgbtq+ representation …

5. … who canonically shits on other lgbtq+ characters.

6. Cheryl is one half of Choni, who are canonically presented as an uber couple.

7. Choni is also, as per canon, a couple with an acute power imbalance (cough!gaslighting!cough) that visually very clearly panders to the male gaze.

But most importantly:

8. Cheryl canonically is not the sum of her parts. The different facets of her character do not intermingle in any meaningful way.

Was Betty kissing Archie specifically a sore spot for Jughead?

Canonically no [2x14]. But, also, canonically yes [5x03, 5x10].

Are there seriously fans that are astonished that Betty is making some highly questionable choices while investigating?! Did they just discover Dark™Betty/Killer Genes Betty? That is canon Betty! Was it ok before because she was then smooching Jughead instead of giving him the cold shoulder? Honestly, the only newly outrageous part of s5Dark™Betty is the fact that she still believes in “killer genes” despite having spent 4 years at Yale …

As for liking/disliking Betty and morality …

Look, I’m going to be very honest: I am NOT particularly enjoying s5 Betty. And it’s not because of b*rchie.

S5 Betty has 99 problems but the sexcapades ain’t one.

For me, it’s the fact that she’s turned into s1 Alice 2.0. But surely that’s not news either? Ever since the first info about the time jump, everyone and their mother have been speculating about the teens becoming their parents …

Just because Jughead is better written (and written to be more likable), it doesn’t make him more worthy of redemption. Just because the writers are keeping Betty’s redemption “secret” (insert eye roll) for their big reveal in the season’s penultimate episode, it doesn’t mean she won’t have one.  

Simply put, the writers have made Jughead more likable. He’s still the underdog. He’s the only character in Riverdale actively trying to deal with his trauma, since the very first post-time jump episode (working at Pop’s explicitly to fend off the debt collectors). He has scenes with a new and extremely likable character (Tabitha). He has the only new plot line (the Mothman). Said plotline is narratively already tied to both his unknown past and the town’s destruction by Hiram. His behaviour is explicitly explained, even as his recent trauma remains unknown. He’s transparent.

In comparison, s5 Betty is traumatized but not the underdog. Her trauma (TBK killer) is both known to us and a repetition of previous storylines, which makes it narratively less exciting. She is completely disconnected from any other storylines. She comes out as being judgmental and self-interested: telling Tabitha Jughead’s not her business while previously accepting his help? Berating Polly for lying while not keeping in touch and lying about her own life (TBK)? Please note: I’m not saying there isn’t a reason behind her behaviour, just that it comes out in a negative way.

You don’t like Betty’s current behaviour? You don’t consider trauma a good enough excuse? Cool.

You feel sorry for what she’s going through? You consider trauma to be a valid explanation for her behaviour? Also cool.

Personally, I don’t give a flying fig, either for Betty’s trauma or Jughead’s. Because, even though Trauma™ is s5’s actual mystery plot, narratively speaking, trauma never affected the plot of the past 4 seasons, nor s5 trauma will affect future plots, once revealed. And you know what? That is also cool.

None of the above is better.

And just because I’m not enjoying Betty right now, it doesn’t mean that I don’t want her to overcome her current situation or that I won’t cheer for Bughead like a River Vixen on fizzle rocks, once they reunite.

This thing though, where people are made to feel as if they owed anyone in the fandom an explanation about why they like the things they like, because, somehow, their preferences are a reflection on their character or their cognitive abilities to read a TV show? This is a joke.

There is no “wrong” way to consume any show, let alone Riverdale, with its fractured format, its short-term memory and its see-sawing characters.

Look, everybody’s here for their own reasons. For most people this is a place of escape. No one’s escaping better than the other, because of how they enjoy their teen TV show ... 

[bao3bei4]

i have basically covered the material in this post several times on my twitter. but this is, in my opinion, the only s*xy t*mes with w*ngxian take you need. 

(cw transphobia, transphobic slurs, antiblack racism, mentions of csa and bestiality in fiction)

edit 6/10/21: hi! i’m realizing people are still reading this! this was written in response to aja romano’s vox article on the fic that was published in late february of this year. i had been frustrated with how their article seemed to miss the point in many ways, because they never talked about the substance of the fic. which, i mean, fair. i wouldn’t want to read a 1million word fic either.

but i already had, so i thought i’d write about some things that i believed needed to be part of the conversation. namely, that its author wasn’t a harmless troll, but a person i genuinely disliked who i believed should be deplatformed.

i think virtual1979 is a bad person. 

i think a lot of people mainly know about sexy times the phenomenon more than they do sexy times the fic itself. i have the dubious honor of being one of the few people who has actually read large portions of the million word fic, and that’s why i wanted to write this meanspirited hit piece. 

the fic is down right now and the author’s notes and comments have both been deleted, which is why i cannot provide screenshots. however, these are all quotes i have saved from when the fic was online, and i’m happy to talk with anyone if you feel any of these quotes are mischaracterizations of the fic. 

i also want to be clear this is not a “callout post” and i’m not trying to “cancel” them or whatever. i am just explaining why i don’t like them, why i don’t feel bad they’re being harassed, and why i do not find them sympathetic at all, and perhaps why you should also adopt these stances. 

let’s start with transphobia. 

sexy times with wangxian is transphobic. this much is apparent from the tags. virtual1979 tagged the following: F*tanari, d*ckgirl, Sh*male. they use this language in the chapters that include a character with both a vagina and a penis. 

they refer to this character (wei wuxian) with the pronouns “he-she.” the following excerpt is a fair representation of how this wei wuxian is referred to in the chapters where wei wuxian has a vagina and a penis. 

[Lan Zhan] would never be turned on by a female, and he would actually be turned off by a drag queen - but this… this Wei Ying, it’s Wei Ying, and he-she looks [...]

i know these words are common in porn categories, but they are also slurs. virtual1979 also uses hermaphrodite to refer to this set of anatomy, which is not strictly a slur, but definitely a stigmatizing choice of language. 

they have repeatedly made clear they are not open to criticism. they have also since removed the comment section. making an intersex character for the express purpose of using transmisogynistic language towards them in your million word porn fic isn’t annoying the way their tags are, it’s actively fucked up. 

fanfiction has a transphobia problem, and if we’re talking about sexy times with wangxian in any capacity, we must be clear: sexy times with wangxian is part of that problem too. 

secondly, virtual1979 is also complicit in ao3’s racism problem.

i think the way they write about chinese characters and settings is annoying and racist, but they are a malaysian chinese person, so i do have some sympathy for them. i am committed to having some patience for people who are annoying if they themselves are working through the prejudice they have faced. 

they’ve commented as much: 

Not gonna lie, this fic has been a steep learning curve for me despite my roots being Chinese as well, but I have absolutely zero knowledge in some of these aspects!

and i’m happy on some level they can get in touch with their roots. who among us has not been cringe and diaspora. any criticisms i have of their portrayal of chinese people will stay private and be made to other people of color.

i’m going to be clear here i don’t think the actual comment they made makes them super evil or anything. but this essay IS clearly in response to That Article, which did mention racism in fandom. so.

i think we have all seen the infamous karen comment they made, in which they compared people who criticized their tagging with “Karens,” equating antiblack state violence to... mean comments on ao3? and “SJWs,” which, eye roll. no ageism but you’re 41 why the hell are you complaining about sjws

anyway. i am deeply frustrated by the co-option of the word karen. a stand-in for a particular type of racist violence white women specifically can and do inflict has become fused with that reddit-type mommy issue “can i speak to the manager” internecine white resentment. 

so their trivialization of antiblack racism is another reason i don’t like them. again i KNOW it’s petty to point this out here, but this to me shows that virtual is afflicted with the same kind of fandom brainrot that aja is, where everything comes back to that same sort of self-centered bullshit. 

sorry for that jab. julian told me that aja thought that cql was about callout culture and all i could think was “wow! just like virtual thinking that--” because i also have spent too much time on twitter this week. 

this is just like. part of this ongoing pattern i’ve noticed with virtual, where they’re aware enough of real problems to acknowledge they exist (police violence, accessibility issues caused by their tagging) but are determined to double down on their minor relative persecution as king, shittily drawing parallels between like... real problems and fandom problems. equating the two or allowing the second to take priority over the former is like... par for the course for this type of person! 

third, this is just another clarification on more parallels between ao3 discourse and sexy times that went completely unremarked on by That Article. 

i would rather DIE than get into discourse. but why did they write this sentence: 

Lan Zhan’s rational mind finally broke with a tsunami of pedophilic lusts [...]

by the way that is the start of a 430 word sentence. and yes this fic does contain hundreds of thousands of words of aged down wei wuxian. make of that what you will. 

also why would you make wei wuxian teach baby chickens how to sexually pleasure him. do you hate these characters. what’s going on. i think mxtx should be able to sue virtual for that one. 

there’s a very obvious connection between mainstream ao3 discourse and sexy times that went completely unremarked on in That Article. sexy times contains multitudes and some of those multitudes are bestiality and explicit childfucking. 

this is not unrelated to fannish culture, they are not unfamiliar with fannish norms, blah blah blah. this is just normal fandom. they’re not subverting shit, they’re just a normal fan who unlike 99% of fanfiction writers on twitter, spends more time writing than posting. this has taken their fannish tendencies to cartoonish heights. 

finally, they don’t care about mdzs or wangxian. they’re literally just horny and spiteful that’s it. this isn’t a question of like... “ohh they were a good faith participant in fandom until they went joker mode” and the REAL villain is society/ao3. like no they wanted to write shitty porn, and when they found out they were annoying people, they decided to double down because they could be the main character of the mdzs ao3 tag every time they found a spare hour to write. 

here are some select receipts on that topic:

they do not care about canon: 

MDZS has quite a complicated and expansive plot and history, and enough content that one can choose to tune out certain parts and still get to the end of the story in one piece. Also, because of its source, some fans may not fully realize the nuances, cultural aspects (ooh, cultural appropriation is another triggering topic) or the full breadth and depth of the source material, such as a person like me, who is half-baked in terms of knowing what the canon universe is all about. So I end up playing with characters and settings technically borrowed from the story, and make them do things that would otherwise run counter to the original source material - and that draws quite some flak from those opinionated people I mentioned just now. It's part of what makes the fandom toxic. It's like they're the self-appointed guardians of the source material and they act like they own the rights to question such questionble fanworks, and dare I say, try to take down those that cross certain lines too.

they are just horny: 

After that giddines of extra drunken Lan Wang Ji scenes at the beginning, I'm blessed with Lan Wang Ji (Wang Yibo's, actually) fuzzy nips! Bless Bless Bless, and Amen! muahs the nips on the screen

anyway they did get nuked over wishing covid on people. 

so yeah. i want to be really clear. this is my thesis: i do not feel bad for them. you should not either. i do not like them. you should not either. that’s ALL!!!! 

[a-real-chara-cter]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; MUN & MUSE - MEME.

FILL OUT & REPOST ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

TAGGED BY: @the-judge-of-bones TAGGING: Steal it

MY MUSE IS:  canon / oc / au / CANON-DIVERGENT / fandomless / complicated

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK  Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. Are they underrated?  YES / NO / IDK / KINDA (They're certainly underappreciated, I think - lots of screaming about 'MURDERBRAT CHARA', not much really looking at them as a character) Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO / KINDA (Depends on your headcanons, but they're literally the instigator of half the worldbuilding so) Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG (The main character is mistaken for them, and will either finally be seen for who they are, or meet them at the end) Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. (Duh. Human Prince of Monsters) How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL (The way I play them, while they're seen as more distant and less approachable than the King, Queen, or the other Prince - they have a reputation for caring and working hard for monsters, and for being, if not easy to work with, then reliable to work with. If they say they'll arrange funding for your work, you can practically start spending the money already.) How strictly do you follow canon?  — Not very strictly at all, really. I diverge in a major way right from the get go, and I have no problems with changing or tweaking details to make them work better, though I'll at least try to get at the -purpose- behind the detail first and see how it can be salvaged.

SELL YOUR MUSE! AKA TRY TO LIST EVERYTHING, WHICH MAKES YOUR MUSE INTERESTING IN YOUR OPINION TO MAKE THEM SPICY FOR YOUR MUTUALS.  —  Regal of bearing, quick of wit, sly of tongue, Determined of heart and dorky of mind. Prince Chara is an exercise in dichotomies, in the liminal spaces between love and hate, hard and soft, hot and cold. If you want to interact with a muse who can be waxing philosophical on the ways feelings can treat and triage emotional wounds one minute and then turn around and flirt through puns the next, here's your enby. If you ever wanted to see what a grown up Chara could have been, here they are.

NOW THE OPPOSITE, LIST EVERYTHING WHY YOUR MUSE COULD NOT BE SO INTERESTING (EVEN IF YOU MAY NOT AGREE, WHAT DOES THE FANDOM PERHAPS THINK?).  —  They're prickly. They trust slowly, and often only at swordpoint at first. They're a Chara, which, well - one of hundreds in the fandom, even if they're a bit different - the differences make them stand out, but also make them closer to an OC, which has its own problems. They like things to go as expected/planned, which can make initial interactions a bit tricky.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE?  —  The mystery of Chara fascinated me about Undertale, and I admit to feeling a strong kinship to them - the Sans Genocide fight certainly didn't help there, because _I love a challenge_, and that fight comes part and parcel with Chara in the surrounding fandom materials. It was a surprise when I started hearing their voice and feeling it looking for an outlet, but not an unwelcome one - it took me a little while to refine exactly who and what my Chara was, which parts of common fanon resonated and which to discard, but I'm quite pleased by the person they've grown into through the journey.

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING?  —  Honestly? Nothing did for a while. I had a bad experience with the fandom that put me off for a long while, and then real life got in the way and Chara retreated into the back corner of my head, only coming out for occasional snippets of conversation with their favorite Asriel or to snark on random moments and things I was doing. I'm not sure what drew them more fully out of hiding exactly, but it's been really great to get into the swing of writing them again.

SOME MORE PERSONAL QUESTIONS FOR THE MUN.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / SORT OF? Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO / SORT OF? (I have headcanons and little ideas all the time, but I rarely write them out unless prompted, mostly they emerge in actual threading or discussions.) Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO / WHEN PROMPTED (See above, basically) Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO (They're in my head 24/7, along with a handful of other muses sure, but still, it's rare an hour goes by without them chiming in some thought or observation or another.) Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO / SORT OF? Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO (For all I often joke about being good for nothing but shipping and shitposting, I -have- been writing fiction for over fifteen years, and RPing for over ten. I'm pretty confident my writing is good) Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO / SORTA (I can be really easy to upset or piss off if a hot button topic's pressed, but I'm generally pretty thick skinned, and I'm learning to be better at catching my temper and working around it.) DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL?  —  If it's useful criticism, that's actually about _my_ Prince and not what the reader thinks Chara should be, sure.

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER?  — Go for it! I reblog headcanon type memes often enough, toss one at me, or just random questions.

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?  —  Depends on the headcanon - if it's a worldbuilding type headcanon, then sure, I'll debate that stuff all day. If it's a personal character headcanon, well... so long as you're framing it as a discussion, maybe? But it's not your headvoice, it's mine, you don't get a vote in how they express themselves.

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT?  — Hey, that's cool. If there's something offensive about it, lemme know and I can try to fix things, otherwise, we can hang out on separate parts of the fandom without being forced to interact, you don't gotta love my portrayal to be here, you don't even gotta read my shit to be here.

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT?  —  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Not my circus, not my monkey. Bring it -into- my circus and I'll tell you to fuck off.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS?  — Sure go for it

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN?   —  Fairly easy-going, but, well, I'm autistic, I know I'm not always as easy to get along with as I'd like. Still, tell me I'm doing something shitty and I'll stop, I'm not doing it on purpose.

[amostexcellentblog]

Judy Garland: Reflections on an Icon, Gay or Otherwise

Today, June 22, 2019, marks the 50th anniversary of the day we lost one of the world’s greatest entertainers, Judy Garland. In just a few days time we will observe an even more momentous 50th anniversary, that of the Stonewall Uprising which birthed the modern LGBTQ equality movement. If you’re familiar with your queer folk history, you’ll know there are those who claim this close timing is not a coincidence. But we’ll get to that later.

I first encountered Garland the way most people do--my parents showed me The Wizard of Oz when I was little. I don’t remember much of the experience aside from wanting to be a flying monkey for Halloween, and that “Over the Rainbow” made me cry, which was the first time any piece of media had made such an impact on me. It never really occurred to me that the woman who sang that song could have had a career beyond Oz until 12 years ago when I was just finishing Middle School and becoming interested in the Old Hollywood era. She was the first star I formed an emotional connection to, and as I happily made my way through her filmography and read up on her life I first encountered the phrase “gay icon.”

I knew what gay meant, obviously. I was vaguely aware of the LGBTQ and marriage equality movements, but at the time I mostly knew “gay” as the insult hurled at me seemingly everyday of Middle School for a series of things I never gave a second thought to but were apparently tell-tale signs that I was that way, and thus a figure deserving of torment--how I carried my books, how I sat, how I looked. My basic opinion of being gay at that point was that it’s fine for other people, but dear god don’t let this be my future!

So, when I realized that the star I was idolizing was famous for being idolized by gay men, I did what I’d become very adept at doing, I ignored the implications. Denial allowed me to spend high school working my way through her films, youtube videos, documentaries, and a biography without really examining why this woman resonated so much with me. So now, as we approached these two anniversaries, it seemed like a good time to finally try to sort through what she meant to me. What I ended up with instead is an essay that’s part personal reflection and part mediation on the meaning of the term “Gay Icon” in the era of Marriage Equality and Corporate-Sponsored Pride.

The term “Gay Icon” has been used to mean several similar, but different types of people. To clarify, when I talk about Gay Icons in this post, I’m talking specifically about a subset of gay icons related to the so-called “Diva Worship” culture among gay men. Nobody really seems to know why exactly gay men are so drawn to larger-than-life women, I’ve heard too many reasons to go into them all now, but even if not all of us go for the cliches (Cher, Gaga, etc.) pretty much every gay man has a female figure--real or fictional--they connect with in a way their straight male peers don’t.

Looking back, it’s obvious why Garland resonated with me. She was chronically insecure, especially about her looks--as was I. She spent her life wanting desperately to for someone to love her unconditionally and to be able to love them back, only to be denied this simple happiness time after time--well, of course that would resonate with a gay audience, especially in her lifetime. And she was a survivor, repeatedly cast aside by the press and the industry as washed up, she continually had the last laugh. She had a strength to her that I wanted. It was a different kind of strength than the physical/masculine kind offered by the pro-athletes and superheroes my male peers emulated, but which I found unrelatable and unappealing. Hers was a strength that came dressed in sequins and high heels, and I just thought it was fabulous.

Garland though, is more than just a gay icon, in a lot of ways she seems to be the gay icon. The popular code phrase “friend of Dorothy” is generally assumed to be a reference to her character in Oz. She maintained close friendships with gay men throughout her life, with whom she would frequent illegal gay bars on both coasts. Her father was a closeted homosexual, and biographers have speculated this is why so many of the men she was attracted to, both as friends and romantically, turned out to be gay or bi. She was one of the first celebrities to have their gay following acknowledged in the mainstream press. There’s even footage on youtube of her being asked directly about why she attracts so many “homosexuals,” and she is visibly thrown by it.

To understand why Garland would be so flustered over that question, it’s important to understand how being popular with the gay community was perceived in her lifetime. William Goldman’s The Season, his influential book about the 1967–68 season on and off Broadway, includes an account from an unnamed screenwriter friend describing a mid-1960s cocktail party that offers a fascinating glimpse at just that:

I can’t explain her appeal, but I saw it work once in this crazy way. I was at a party in Malibu... There were a lot of actors there, the word on them was that they were queer, but this was a boy-girl party, everyone was paired off, and these beautiful men and gorgeous broads were talking together and drinking together. Anyway, everything’s going along and it’s sunny, I’m getting a little buzzed... when I realized, Garland was in the room.

The guy she’s with, her husband, supports her as she plops down in this chaise, and says what she wants to drink and he goes off to get it. And she’s sitting all alone and for a minute there was nothing, and then this crazy thing started to happen. Every homosexual in the place, every guy you’d heard whispered about, they left the girls they were with and started to mass move towards Garland. She didn’t ask for it, she was just sitting there, while all these beautiful men circled her. They crowded around her and pretty soon she’s disappeared behind this expansive male fence. It may not sound like all that much, but I’m telling you, she magnetized them. 

I’ll never forget all those famous secret guys moving across this gorgeous patio without a sound, and her just sitting there, blinking. And then they were on her, and she was gone. (x)

Another passage describing one of her concerts in 1967, from Goldman himself, is even more blunt:

Another flutter of fags, half a dozen this time, and watching it all from a corner--two heterosexual married couples. “These fags” the first man says, “it’s like Auschwitz, some of them died along the way but a lot of them got here anyhow!” He turns to the other husband and shrugs, “Tonight, no one goes to the bathroom.” (x)

Both passages, laced with condescension, homophobia, and misogyny, are nevertheless useful windows into a pre-Stonewall way of looking at how far gay culture has come. Today Lady Gaga can sing “Don’t be a drag just be a queen” on a lead single and still reign as a queen of pop music, back then any association with homosexuality was enough to taint you. Garland’s popularity with gay men opens her up to condescending mockery, while gay men’s mere existence at a public event is enough to terrify the heterosexual attendees.

Still, the most revealing part of that last passage might not be the homophobia, but the opening reference to “another flutter of fags, half a dozen.” The fact that a decent amount of gay men evidently felt comfortable enough to express themselves at least somewhat openly at a mainstream public event is notable. In this pre-Stonewall era such openness was generally reserved for bars and other covert safe spaces.

Which brings us back to the first paragraph. If you know any queer folk history, then you’ve probably heard this one--Judy Garland’s funeral sparked the Stonewall Uprising. That fateful night in June the Stonewall Inn was packed with gay men still emotionally raw from losing their idol, so much so that when the police raided the joint they channeled that anger and loss, and fought back, and the modern LGBTQ movement was born! It’s a story that would solidify Garland’s status as the definitive gay icon, a martyr for the cause, (move over Harvey Milk!) Except, it’s not true. It’s been debunked multiple times. Most recently in this video from the NY Times.

I bring it up though, because even if she wasn’t the cause, she was still connected to that historic night, if only indirectly. Even as the NY Times video debunks the myth of her funeral causing it, two of the uprising’s participants interviewed do admit to being at Garland’s funeral, which really was held just hours before the violence started. Other accounts from people who patronized Stonewall have said that “Judy Garland” was a popular fake name to use on a sign-in book at the entrance. In other words, even if she didn’t cause them, she was still an important figure for some of the people who went on to build the modern equality movement.

As a final thought to wrap this all up, I’ve been thinking about Garland and her status as a gay icon. It’s no secret that as the years have passed by she’s been somewhat supplemented by younger icons for younger generations. There’s been some question over whether Garland even has a place in a gay culture that now has people like Lady Gaga and “Born This Way,” openly acknowledging their gay fans in ways Garland never could. 

At the same time, I can’t help but feel the recent debate over Taylor Swift’s gay-themed music video demonstrates why Garland still deserves her Gay Icon status, even if most younger queer people today don’t have the same connection to her that older generations did. Swift’s video, chocked full of every out celebrity who would return her calls and saturated in a rainbow-hue, has faced criticism for being “performative activism.” That after being fairly silent on the issue for so long she’s now trying to cash-in on the movement by branding her single a new gay anthem for Pride Month. The fact that with one exception, which misuses the word “shade,” the lyrics to the song sound more like they’re referring to Swift’s online haters rather than anti-LGBTQ bigots, certainly helps the critics’ case. As does the fact that Swift never seemed to have much interest in building a large gay following before this.

Yet there’s also a sense that this was inevitable. Corporations already roll out rainbow colored logos for Pride, in retrospect it seems obvious that celebrities, and their PR firms, would start deliberately trying to market themselves as a gay icon without first taking the time to build a large following in the LGBTQ community. (Gaga’s established gay fanbase undoubtedly blunted similar criticisms of “Born This Way,” for example.) Garland in this case then serves as a symbol of a time when the Gay Icon title wasn’t anointed by marketing campaigns, but emerged organically from a genuine affection for an individual held by a large number of queer people. A reminder of how important that affection was to members of our community, (and still is to many of us) even if it could only go one-way. And perhaps even a warning, of what we might lose if we let this important part of gay subculture be transformed into just another marketing gimmick.

But I’ll leave all that for another time. For now, I’ll just say, thank you Judy Garland. Thank you for all the joy and comfort you’ve given to generations of gay men. And thank you especially for the companionship you gave me while I was still figuring some things out.

[choicesfanatic86]

TTS: Part 23 - Part 1/2  (Liam x MC)

DISCLAIMER:  All characters belong to Pixelberry Studios, except characters unique to my story.  Those belong to me. ;)

PAIRINGS:  Riley (MC) x OC, Riley (MC) x Liam, Liam x Riley (MC) x OC, Olivia x Drake, Bertrand x Savannah, Maxwell x OC

SUMMARY:  Are you talking about Andy? Or are you talking about yourself?

If you are new to the series and would like to catch up by reading previous parts, please check out my master fan fiction listing.  CATCH UP HERE

TAGS:  @herladyshipxx  @theroyalweisme @blackcatkita @devineinterventions2 @hopefulmoonobject @captainkingliam @pbchoicesobsessed @cocomaxley @queencatherynerhys @mfackenthal @boneandfur @spetstoof @bobasheebaby @grapefrults @pessimystic-fangirl @dralenamax @mspaigemoore @drakelover78 @kaitycole @jayjay879 @hhiggs @umccall71 @penguininapinktuxedo @topsyturvy-dream @decisso @pnhanga @ladynonsense @mrs-simmy @jamielea81

5/6/18 - Hi everyone! I needed to split Part 23 in half because it was so long.  I didn’t intend for it to be this long, but here we are. =/ I’m going to release Part 2 at 12:00 pm HST. Thank you as always for following along and allowing me to bring you into this TRR AU.  I hope you like it. :) And sorry in advance for the roller coaster ride. =P

EDITED - Thank you to all who caught the duplicate text.  Especially for  @bobasheebaby @hopefulmoonobject @umccall71 @mfackenthal for letting me know! Eeek, so embarrassing. =P It should be corrected now!

PART 23 - Where Are We Going? (Part 1)

Riley spent an hour and a half getting ready for the rehearsal.  It was a good distraction from thinking about her relationship with Liam.  .  She had decided she wasn’t going to think about it tonight.  With Liam gone, she was going to focus on spending time with her friends and celebrating Bertrand and Savannah’s soon to be wedding.  She looked herself over in the floor-length mirror.  She had chosen an elegant green dress for the night’s festivities.  She had been obsessing over how she looked for the last twenty-minutes.  Savannah had casually mentioned that there’d be a few members of the press at the rehearsal tonight as they’d be doing an article about the wedding.  She’d be lying if she didn’t admit to being a tad bit nervous with the news about the press’ presence.  Savannah had assured her that they’d already been told they were not to harass her; otherwise they’d be removed from the estate.  That did little to alleviate her worries.  They were the press after all . . . freedom of speech and all that jazz . . . she doubted they’d heed the couple’s warnings.  She just hoped that they’d be civil and wouldn’t mention the trashy article that had been published in the newspaper last week.  Things had stayed relatively calm in scandal land, and Riley had hoped to keep things that way.

She wandered down the staircase, searching for Andy or Maxwell or anyone really - anyone to help lighten the tension brewing inside of her.  The estate was already bustling with activity.  Caterers were moving hot plates and large buffet tables into the ballroom.  Staff members were decorating various parts of the estate with beautiful floral arrangements.  The Beaumont Estate had been transformed into something out of a bridal magazine.  Riley had design-envy.  She’d done her fair share of weddings in New York, but nothing of this magnitude.  Everything was absolutely stunning.  

She ambled toward the courtyard still searching for her friends.  The courtyard was where the rehearsal and subsequent cocktail party was going to take place.  Bertrand and Savannah had spared no expense for their wedding celebration.  That much was clear.  Not that she should have been surprised; everything leading up to the big day had been phenomenal.  They deserved it, of course.  The road to their happily ever after hadn’t been easy, and to celebrate it as grandly as they were, was well-deserved.

Not paying attention, she turned a corner outside and bumped into someone.  “Oh, I’m so sorry,” she started to say, a glimpse of redhead caused her to bite her tongue.  She braced herself for the storm of screams that would surely follow.  When none occurred, she mustered up enough courage to look up at her.   “Olivia, it’s nice to see you again,” Riley paused, waiting for the inevitable snarky retort.

Instead, Olivia greeted her with a tight smile.  “Lady Riley, that green dress looks quite lovely on your skin tone,” she said politely, a bit too much teeth still bared.

Riley was startled.  Had Olivia actually paid her a compliment?  “Oh . . .” she stumbled over her words. “Thank you so much,” she murmured softy, inclining her head toward her direction.

“Don’t look surprised,” she said impassively.  “Drake told me I’m supposed to be on my best behavior,” she narrowed her eyes at Riley.  “For Savannah’s sake, I said I would, but that doesn’t mean we’re friends,” she snapped back.

“I would make no mistake on that,” Riley nodded, raising her hands up in defeat.  “I’ll happily take cordialness over friendship with you any day.”

Olivia lingered, which alarmed Riley.  Hadn’t she just said that they weren’t friends?  She eyed the redhead suspiciously.  “Was there something else?”

“I saw Liam before I left the palace today,” she said quietly, looking around to ensure that no one was within earshot.

“Oh,” Riley paused, unsure where she was going with the conversation.

“He seemed happy,” she said honestly.

Riley smiled lightly.

“Considering he was gone for an extended period of time, and upon his return he’d looked happier than he had in years, I’m assuming you’re the cause?” Olivia asked, looking her up and down.

Riley blushed.  “I’d like to think we made each other happy,” she shrugged.

Olivia’s eyes darkened a bit.  “Are you going to break his heart again?” she asked sternly.

Riley blanched.  “What?”

“Am I going to have to endure watching my oldest, dearest friend be torn to bits over you again?”

Riley hesitated.  “I thought we were being cordial,” she murmured.  

“We are.  If I wasn’t on my best behavior, I’d have you cornered somewhere with my finger in your face,” she said coolly.  “I just need to know that you’re not going to hurt him again.”

“I don’t want to hurt him again,” Riley said quickly.  That was the truth, after all.  She had never wanted to hurt him.  

“That’s not the answer I’m looking for,” Olivia said, a slight sneer threatening to break through her calm face.

“That’s the only answer I have for you, Olivia,” she said honestly.  “We’re still figuring things out, okay?”

“Hmph,” she murmured indignantly

She was miffed.  She made that pretty clear, but Riley could care less.  She could play the same game.  “So, speaking of relationships . . . how are you and Drake doing?” she asked, a slight insinuation in her tone.  

“I’m not having that conversation with you, of all people,” she sneered.

“Hey now, you get to play twenty questions about my life, but I don’t get to ask you about yours?  What kind of reciprocity is that?”

“Don’t assume to know what’s going on between us, just because of your friendship with him,” she hissed out.  “We know where we stand with one another, and that’s all that matters,” she huffed.

“Really?  Because I think your relationship is probably the worst kept secret at court,” Riley smirked, “But okay, we can play the don’t ask, don’t tell game, Olivia,” she shrugged.  “I need to find Andy.  As usual, it’s been a pleasure,” she sighed, as she went back into the house.

Olivia was left mouth-gaping in the courtyard, still stunned that Riley had the audacity to speak to her that way.  So much for being cordial, Riley thought to herself.

As she walked back into the house, she noticed that there were far less staff members rushing around.  Clearly, it was getting close to show time, which meant that people would start arriving soon.  She really needed to find Andy and Maxwell.  She needed back up when it came to dealing with any little courtly or media-related issues that developed.

She felt someone grab her elbow, maneuvering her over to the staircase.  “Where have you been?” Andy fumed at her.

“I’ve been butting heads with Olivia, you know the usual,” Riley shrugged.  “She got critical, I got critical and sarcastic.  It was a mess.  I’m sure I’ll hear about it from Drake later,” Riley mused.  “Why, what’s wrong?”

“Oh, nothing, just the fact that Maxwell wants me to introduce me to everyone he knows,” she said in a panic.

“What?”  Riley said, confused.

“He wants people to meet his girlfriend.  Me!”  She sat down on the steps, her hands shaking.

“And that’s a problem because?”  Riley still wasn’t following.  Just a few days ago, Andy had been over the moon about being his girlfriend.  Now, she was freaking out about it.

“Because I’m going to mess things up.  Apparently, that’s what I do.  I say the wrong thing . . . or use the wrong utensil  . . . or greet someone the wrong way,” she sighed.  “I can’t do anything right,” she said sadly.

“Andy, you’ve got this.  You’re endearing,” Riley said encouragingly.

“According to you.  According to Bertrand, I’m a thorn in his side that won’t go away,” she huffed.

“He did not say that,” Riley eyed her pointedly.

“He didn’t have to.  He tried to quiz me on fork etiquette this afternoon, Riley.  Fork etiquette.”

Riley cringed.  “I take it that it didn’t go well?”  Riley shouldn’t have asked, because she already knew the answer.

“He looked at me like I was a moron.  My mom went to Julliard, my father went to Berkley.  I come from good genes, Riley.  Yet, he gives me this look like I’m some unworthy peon,” she grumbled.

“Do you want me to talk to him?” Riley asked sincerely.

“No . . . that’s not a good idea.  Not today at least.  Or tomorrow of course,” she sighed.  “Am I being ridiculous?”

“No, you’re not,” Riley assured her.

“How did you survive this, Ri?”

She opened her mouth to respond, but she couldn’t.  Had she survived?  She put on a good act.  She was pretty good at faking it, but did she really survive court?  She’d run away . . . and upon her return she had done everything in her power to avoid any sort of uncomfortable court experienced.  

“I . . . I honestly don’t know,” she whispered.

“I don’t know if I can handle the constant scrutiny,” she said honestly.  “I’m the kind of girl that lounges about all day eating junk food.  I don’t know how these ladies have their “a game” on around the clock.”

Riley hummed in agreement.  “I know, but at least you’ve got Maxwell, and he’s definitely not like Bertrand when it comes to this sort of thing.  You know that right?  Maxwell doesn’t care about court propriety and the like.  What I do know is he cares about you quite a bit.  Why don’t you just focus on that for right now, yeah?”

Andy nodded uncertainly.

“Let’s go find your guy so that we can get this party started, huh?  Maxwell makes everything ten times better.  Promise,” she smiled reassuringly.

True to Riley’s word, Maxwell did make everything better or at least distracted from the worry that was on both women’s minds.  When they found him, he was setting up a very elaborate champagne display with a very large sword resting at its side.  It looked as if he were preparing for one of his champagne fountain tricks.

“Maxwell, I thought Savannah said no swordplay . . .” Riley trailed off.  “This very much looks like swordplay.”

“I honestly don’t think she meant it . . . did she?” A look of concern flitted across his face, but only for a moment.  “Of course she didn’t mean it.  This is magnificent,” he looked on his creation proudly.  “It isn’t a Beaumont party without some swordplay.”

Andy looked on bemused.  “What’s going on?”

“I think we may be witnessing the motive behind Maxwell’s murder,” Riley whispered tersely.

Andy’s eyes widened.  “Should we stop him?”

“I’m not sure he’d listen,” Riley shrugged honestly.

An hour later, as guests started to gather in the entryway, Maxwell announced his gift of a toast in Savannah and Bertrand’s honor. Bertrand’s face during the entire exchange could be described as pained . . . not for fear of what was about to occur, but in the fact that he had to restrain himself from throttling Maxwell in front of all of his esteemed guests.  Savannah, although she had been the one to nix the entire idea, looked on intrigued about the entire set up.  He executed the breaking of the champagne bottles flawlessly as guests looked on in reverence.  The champagne flowed freely into the set up of glasses that he arranged just perfectly.  

Photographers snapped photos and were riveted by the performance.   Riley later overheard Bertrand speaking to a reporter from the CBC.

“Why of course, Maxwell has always been a bit on the theatrical side, but my goodness, was that show not just amazing?  Leave it to my brother to wow a crowd,” he said with a broad grin on his face.

Riley couldn’t help but laugh.  It was such a typical Bertrand reaction.  As long as the image was positive, he’d embrace it.

Riley, Andy and Maxwell mingled for the rest of the time.  She recognized a few people from court who she interacted with during her social season, and they politely greeted her.  Thankfully, she hadn’t found herself in any sort of uncomfortable situation with the press, for which she was very grateful.  She didn’t think she’d be in the mood to deal with any of that tonight.  Just as she was about to suggest they get another drink, Maxwell spotted someone across the room.  He grabbed Andy’s hand before turning to Riley.

“If you’ll excuse us, Riley.  I want Andy to meet by Great-Aunt Mildred,” he said quickly, leading Andy off in the other direction.  Andy’s eyes looked at her pleadingly, but Riley just shook her head at her friend, waving her off.  

Riley picked up another glass of wine, when she spotted Drake out of the corner of her eye.  He was approaching her fast and looked none too pleased.

“Did you harass Olivia this afternoon?” He said angrily.

She raised an eyebrow at him.  “Hi Drake, I’m fine thanks.  How are you doing?” She smirked as she took a sip from her wine glass.

“I’m serious, Lawson.  She went on and on about how you verbally attacked her in the courtyard earlier.”

Riley snorted.  “Really?  Olivia Nevrakis needs you to fight her battles for her?  So much for crushing one’s enemies huh?”

“Come on Lawson.  I’m catching enough flack as it is.  She said you were bombarding her with questions about our relationship,” he explained.

“I did not harass her.  It was the other way around.  She started getting all defensive about Liam so I gave her a little taste of her own medicine.”

Drake closed his eyes, miserable.  “What did you do?”

“Nothing that she didn’t do first,” she snipped.  “I just asked her about your guys relationship is all,” she shrugged.  “I didn’t realize she was going to run and tattle on me,” she shook her head in disbelief.

“Lawson, will you just leave it alone?”

“What? I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true,” she exclaimed.  “Look, I’m not one to be handing out advice.  I mean, my own life is pretty screwed up, but I’m just saying if you care about her . . . if you love her . . . why the hell are you beating around the bush?  Just be out with it.  Love each other.  Cherish each other.”

“I’m not exactly marriage material, Lawson.  The set up we have going on is fine.  We’re not hurting anyone,” Drake tried to brush her off.

“Except maybe yourselves,” she said honestly.  “You know what I would have given to be able to have a public relationship with Liam.  Don’t you realize how fortunate you guys are?”

“I never really thought of it that way,” he shrugged.

“Why the hell wouldn’t you want to shout it from the rooftops if you could, Drake?”

“I don’t have a title,” he said simply.  “That’s all anyone would ever look at.  The commoner with the Duchess.  And yeah, that never mattered to me before, but when you have somebody like Olivia . . . it’s kind of important.”

“A title is a title, it doesn’t determine who you are as a person, Drake.  You of all people should understand that.  Besides, if it mattered that much, why is she even with you?  And don’t say it’s just about the fooling around, because we both know it’s more than that.”

He bowed his head in defeat.  “Anyone ever tell you that you’re annoying when you’re right?”

Riley smiled in victory.  “Maybe once or twice,” she winked at him, and as she was going to say a bit more, she felt a tap on her shoulder.

“Lady Riley, you’re looking stunning this evening,” Liam murmured from behind her.  “Drake,” he nodded at his friend.

“Liam,” she said in surprise.  “I didn’t think you’d be attending tonight.”

“And that’s my cue to go find Olivia,” Drake said.  “Thanks, Lawson.  I’ll catch you later,” he waved as he went searching for his redhead.

Riley and Liam nodded as he left, their attention turning back to one another.  “Francesco was kind to me tonight.  He didn’t chatter my ear off about sports or the like,” he chuckled.  “Figured I’d take my chances and see how the Beaumont rehearsal was going,” he said.  “How’s everything going?”

“Well, the rehearsal lasted all of ten minutes, and then it turned into just another Beaumont party,” she laughed.  “I’m really glad you came,” she whispered.

“Me too,” he winked at her.

They walked around the courtyard, chatting quietly, careful not to draw too much attention to themselves.  They found themselves in one of the corners of the courtyard where they firmly planted themselves.  Thankfully, no one seemed to pay them any attention.

“So, why aren’t you off mingling?  Usually I wouldn’t have the luxury to see you until much later in the evening,” she asked, seeing that there were many noblemen and diplomats that he probably should schmooze with, at lease for the sake of propriety.

He glanced over, shrugging slightly.  “I’m not in the mood for idle small talk,” he said, taking as sip of hi scotch.

She frowned noticing that he wasn’t able to meet her eyes.  “Liam, don’t lie to me,” she said sternly.

He inhaled a deep breath.  “I get to see these people all the time,” he said coolly.  “I ran into Maxwell this morning as I was leaving . . . he reminded me that our time together is growing short.,” he explained.

“Oh,” she paused taking a sip from her wine glass.  “You’re talking about me going back to New York.”

He frowned, giving a slight nod.  “We haven’t talked much about what happens after you leave . . . if there’s anything after . . . I just don’t want to squander any more time than I already have.”

“Oh, Liam,” she said sadly.  She wanted to reach out to him, to pull him into her arms and tell him that she had the same fears; that she, too, was worried about what was going to happen between them.  She can’t.  Not here, there were too man prying eyes.  People from court, members of the press.  Even them talking to openly could be misconstrued. One wrong picture with the right story could cause another scandal to break.  She didn’t want that added worry on his mind.  “Do you want to go somewhere to talk?” she asked.

He looked around, checking to see if they’d be missed.  “Yes, but perhaps you should go on ahead and I’ll follow after,” he nodded.

“My room then?”

He nodded, walking off toward the opposite end of the courtyard.

It took around fifteen minutes before he came to her room.  She was certain he did a quick round around the courtyard to assuage any indication that they’d be meeting with one another.

“Hey,” she murmured nervously as he knocked at her door.  She couldn’t pinpoint why she was feeling so nervous.  It was just Liam after all.

“Hi,” He whispered as he entered her bedroom.

“So, let’s talk,” she said softly.  “What’s bothering you?”

He hesitated for a moment, almost as if he had suddenly regretting coming into he bedroom.  He stared hard at her for a moment, before finally clearing his throat.

“I know you didn’t come back for me, Riley,” he acknowledged.  “I also know that you had no intention of letting me know you were even back . . . and I can’t help but wonder if Bertrand hadn’t told me about you being here . . . would we even be at this point? Wondering what we’re going to do about us?  Wondering about the future?”

Riley looked at him carefully.  He looked so vulnerable, so uncertain.  That wasn’t like Liam at all.  He always came across to collected, so self-assured.  It was hard for her to take this Liam in..  “Liam . . . I know what you’re saying . . . I didn’t not want to see you  . . . I was scared to see you again, because I knew what would happen.  I knew this would happen, but now that it has, I’m so happy that we found each other again,” she said honestly.  “I was confused before . . . and honestly, I’m still a little confused.  Not about my feelings for you.  I love you . . . but the future . .  . it scares the hell out of me.  I don’t know what to do,” she said honestly.  

He ran his hands through his hair.  “So what do we do then? Play it by ear?”

She shrugged.  “Well, at least we’re not alone in this conundrum,” she said wistfully.  “I’m sure Maxwell and Andy are having just as difficult of a time discerning what they’re going to do in the next few days.”

“Maxwell’s thinking of marrying her,” he said simply, catching her off guard.

She nearly choked.  “W-what?”

“Bertrand talked him out of it course,” he explained.  “Lectured him about propriety and how grossly negligent it would be without a proper period of courting,” Liam smirked.  “Leave it to Bertrand to knock any sort of romance out of the situation,” he scoffed.  

“Good God, don’t do that to me.” She put her hand over her heart.  “I could have died right here, Liam.”

“You don’t approve of them marrying?” Liam asked, a bit surprised by her reaction.

“Marrying . . . no.  Definitely not,” she shook her head vehemently.  “Of course I approve of them being together.  They’re great for one another, but marriage . . . that’s a big commitment,” she emphasized.  “They’ve just met and they’re still learning about all of their little quirks.  Getting married . . . that’s a forever kind of deal, you know what I mean?  I just . . . I don’t want either of them to get hurt,” she said sincerely.  “Besides, Andy has her future to think about.  She’s in grad school, working on her thesis.  She’s got all of these amazing plans for her future.  I don’t’ want her to forget about all of that because she made a guy.”

“Are you talking about Andy, or are you talking about yourself?” He asked with a pained expression on his face. ht here, Liam.”

“You don’t approve of them marrying?” Liam asked, a bit surprised by her reaction.

“Marrying . . . no.  Definitely not,” she shook her head vehemently.  “Of course I approve of them being together.  They’re great for one another, but marriage . . . that’s a big commitment,” she emphasized.  “They’ve just met and they’re still learning about all of their little quirks.  Getting married . . . that’s a forever kind of deal, you know what I mean?  I just . . . I don’t want either of them to get hurt,” she said sincerely.  “Besides, Andy has her future to think about.  She’s in grad school, working on her thesis.  She’s got all of these amazing plans for her future.  I don’t’ want her to forget about all of that because she made a guy.”

“Are you talking about Andy, or are you talking about yourself?” He asked with a pained expression on his face.

[purple-spring]

the vocabulary of us

Summary: Sometimes, words won't suffice to describe a love like theirs. Unless, of course, they're in alphabetical order. (Part 1 of 2)

Author’s Note: This is my tribute to the amazing David Leviathan, and his incredible book The Lovers’ Dictionary. The dictionary format that this fic has taken is not mine, and I use it here in homage to Leviathan.

Furthermore, this is a work of fiction. While it is based on a number of real-life events (filming of Riverdale 1.06, the Antelope Valley shoot, Comic-Con, the SH Hawaii trip, among many others), it is purely speculative, and was not intended to upset or offend.

Thank you to @jandjsalmon and @theatreofexpression for your incredible beta work, and to @stark, @gingerheel, @a92vm and @amab1060 for reading over this at different points and your valuable input.

Read under the cut, or on Ao3. 

aperture (noun)

I wanted to capture you on film the moment I first met you.

The lighting, at least from a photographer’s perspective, wasn’t ideal; you were lit by nothing more than the fluorescent gleam of the lights overhead. There was no natural sunlight in that audition room - just an artificial pallor that made all of us look greyish and pale.

Not you, though.

That day, you were radiance and lustre and fire. Beyond the sudden certainty in my gut that I wanted to look at you for an unusually long period of time, there was something about you that day that drew me in. I averted my gaze - I didn’t want to come off as a creep - but every nerve in my body insisted on the contrary. I ignored them. Reluctantly.

What was it, though, that pulled me under? Perhaps it was your steely conviction, or your absolute, unflinching belief in yourself, both so evident in the way that you kept your head down, your eyes fixed on your script. Whatever it was, it was palpable - glaringly apparent to anyone who saw you (ask Cami. She was there. She knew it, too).

I didn’t photograph you that day. But maybe it’s for the best.

There are some things that are better captured by the unfiltered, evanescent lens of memory.

…

banter (noun)

Should I have been surprised at the rapid accumulation of teasing remarks between us? My underlying, deliberate flirtation and your coy return?

One time, I threw out a joke - a half-insult, really - that would’ve thwarted a lesser being. To see if you would take it. To see how far I could push you.

I wasn’t prepared. You smiled, drew yourself up like a pistol, then roasted me so magnificently that my friends gasped, and couldn’t stop laughing for ages.

I fell so fucking hard for you that night.

…

confirm (verb)

When I sensed the turning of the tide, I FaceTimed Dylan. He was puttering around his apartment, occasionally turning towards his phone, which was propped up on the kitchen benchtop. I asked him when he’d be back in LA.

“Two weeks, if the meeting with the William Vale contractors goes well, otherwise I’ll have to stick around here and push the trip back,” he said. “Why?”

“I want you to meet her.” I cleared my throat. “Lili, I mean.”

At the mention of your name - a name he had heard many a time over the last few months - he turned right around. I stared back at him, hoping that the implication was obvious enough that I didn’t need to elucidate why I wanted him to meet you . My once-mirror image, his hair golden as mine used to be, fixed his eyes on me and nodded sagely.

“Alright.”

That day on the beach, you couldn’t have been more perfect if you tried. You cooed over photos of Magnus. You asked him about the brewery. Your interest didn’t even waver as he segued into an impromptu lecture on how to use squash blossoms to infuse mead. You both discovered an affinity for laughing at my expense, which I didn’t mind (at least not from you; he just likes being a dick).

When you left, he and I hung back at the beach in companionable silence, staring at the horizon while finishing off our beers. He spoke up first.

“So… did you need, I don’t know, my blessing or something?”

I shrugged. “I just wanted to know what you thought of her.”

“You want my honest opinion?”

I sat up. “Yeah. I do.”

He polished off the rest of his drink, then looked at me, his face absolutely deadpan. “Cole, I’m sorry. She’s way too good for you.”

I laughed my head off. “Fuck off, dude.”

“Love you, too, baby bro.”

...

draft (noun)

In my mind, I wrote and rewrote what I was going to say to you. It needed to be heartfelt, but not too sentimental. Articulate, but not overly verbose (as I often tend to be).

It haunted me, the thought of this hypothetical speech.

...

envelope (verb)

It would all prove futile.

I wanted to enrapture you with my words.

Instead, I wrapped you up in my arms.

…

found (verb)

Had I been lost before that moment? Because as I slipped in behind your sleeping form and you tensed for a brief, fearful moment before melting achingly into mine, I felt as though I existed only in the places where our bodies touched, and all the rest of me was smoke.

We fell asleep together on the couch. Actually, that’s a lie - you fell asleep while I grinned stupidly at the ceiling for what seemed like hours. I felt like I was discovering someone new that night. Not you: I was already learning you like most things I’ve learned in my life - passionately, persistently, obsessively.

I was discovering myself. Like a man seeing his reflection in the mirror after months in the wilderness, I was startled by the person I’d become.

He was happy. At peace. And he was falling in love.

...

green (noun)

When I was in college, I took a class on art theory and criticism at Gallatin, where we did a whole two weeks on colour symbolism. Red is passion, anger, lust, love. White is purity, innocence, perfection. Etc, etc. You get the point.

Now, as for green.

“The etymology of green is simple,” my professor - the artist Meleto Mokosi - said as he paced around the lecture room stage. “It comes from the Old English word grene, which has the same root as the words grass, and more significantly, grow. This explains many of our symbolic associations with the colour: nature, energy, freshness and growth.”

He clicked on his laptop and an image of an Egyptian painting filled the large screen behind him. “The Ancient Egyptians, however, were onto this long before Old English even existed as a language. To them, green symbolised more than growth. Its hues painted the face of one of their chief gods, Osiris, the god of the underworld. It represented vigour and health, but more importantly, it represented regeneration. Rebirth.”

How apt. That the fervent green of your eyes was all I saw before I leaned in to close the distance between our lips for the very first time.

I was reborn in that kiss.

…

historical (adjective)

It didn’t occur to either of us to mark the date. We only realised this months later. You were frantic. We need a date, Cole. And I understood that - the need to commemorate, to pay tribute.

But history is more than a timeline, is it not? And it’s more than just facts and people and places. It’s about feel. It’s about zeitgeist. It’s about what the senses recall.

I don’t need a date to remind me of the scent of your skin, the soft pillow of your mouth, the gentle pull of your teeth on my bottom lip, your hands on my chest, your wrists still caught in my grip.

The memory of you transcends chronology.

…

inarticulate (adjective)

Sometimes it’s a look - an upward, innocent glance or a slight, playful glint in your eyes. Other times, it’s the maddening curve of your waist, or the shape you take as you turn off the light and move slowly towards the edge of my bed, your smile palpable even in the hushed darkness.

It’s in those times when you render me - yes, even me - speechless.

...

juxtaposed (verb)

We were driving somewhere. I had one hand on the steering wheel, another on your knee.

“So you went to school to escape acting, and I escaped from school into acting.” Your eyes sparkled as you drew that contrast between us.

I turned to smile at that. “Pretty much, yeah.”

“We were going in two completely opposite directions, essentially.”

“Yep.”

Silence. Then: “Huh.” You let out a rush of breath. “That’s crazy.”

I stole a quick glance at you. “What is?

“Just… that somehow, in the briefest window of time, we met in the middle.”

...

keepsake (noun)

You thought you’d lost it - your white shirt, from the first night you stayed over.

I kept it for a while. I wanted to preserve the memory of its removal.

…

ladder (noun)

A kiss triggered it - the deluge of questions that we had managed to ward off in the haze of each other.

Our first onscreen kiss as Betty and Jughead was supposed to be simple and straightforward. We’d both made light of it in the lead-up to filming. After all, we’d kissed plenty by that point. What’s another one, right?

But on the day, I stood at the bottom of that ladder while Steven, our director, talked me through what he wanted. Slowly, it was becoming anything but straightforward.

“Jughead’s putting himself in a vulnerable place,” he said. “Yes, he summons up the courage to kiss this girl he’s been rapidly developing feelings for, but down here, your character’s still in a place of nervousness and anxiety because he has no idea how the hell this is gonna turn out. It’s a big move for him. The ladder has nine steps on it, but really, the emotional equivalent of what he’s going through spans the distance of a thousand miles.”

I nodded in agreement. The wheels in my head were already turning, anticipating his direction.

“It’s a pivotal scene, and Jughead is driving it. He’s acting out of his own agency, exercising initiative over one of the only areas in his life in which he can have power - his feelings. So I guess what I need from you as an actor is to access that same vulnerability. To tap into your own emotional memory. Is there a place in your life where that vulnerability exists? I want you to go there. Safely, of course.”

So I did. There were plenty of moments in my life in which I’d felt vulnerable, but none of them felt particularly safe to delve into unless I had some sort of epic therapeutic debrief afterwards.

Then I thought of you, and how you made me feel reckless and exposed and exuberant all at the same time. And then it hit me.

I was about to kiss this girl that I was falling in love with in front of a crew of twenty people.

My head started reeling.

Does this scare her as much as it scares me - all the noise that surrounds us?

What if the noise overtakes us?

What if it becomes too much?

What if we crumble under the pressure?

If I wasn’t feeling exposed before, I sure as fuck was feeling it now.

Suddenly the nine rungs leading up to Betty’s room stretched out to infinity, and the journey there felt like a quantum leap.

...

metaphor (noun)

I kind of botched the kiss. You thought I’d forgotten my cue, saying your line (“What?”) twice - the second time, more forcefully - because I probably looked as lost and worried as I felt. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Britta flipping through the script, unsure of what to do or whether it was supposed to play out the way that it did.

But your lips were my ballast in the storm, and as I went in for that kiss, I felt the chaos in my mind subsiding, my vision narrowing to only you. Suddenly, it didn’t matter that we were surrounded by twenty people, with three cameras pointed in our direction, because the only thing that carried weight in that moment was me and you.

I always think of our process for filming that scene as a metaphor for us. Or at least for how I feel about you. We’re constantly surrounded by so much noise, but you are my touchstone for clarity.

In the contented silences of our drives home, I remember this: that you are the quiet in the clamour, the stillness that steadies me.

…

north (noun)

“If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be?”

You gave me a lazy smile from where you were lying down, near the foot of your bed. “I’d be right here. With you.”

I rolled my eyes and chortled at that. “Obviously. Besides here.”

You sat up, the sheets bunched around your body. With your hair all messed up and the sunlight hitting you just right, you looked ethereal. “Wait, don’t answer just yet,” I said, grabbing my camera off the nightstand. “Hold that pose for me.”

You kept your eyes forward, away from the lens, already accustomed to the way I worked. “Honestly, how many photos have you taken of me, Cole?”

I snapped a couple. “Not enough.” I put the camera down and crawled over to you. “Okay. Back to the question.”

You chewed thoughtfully on your lower lip. “I’d have to say… Antelope Valley. I’ve never been.”

I scoffed. “Really? That’s like an hour from here, Lils. You could’ve picked, I don’t know, Hawaii or something.”

“Well, Hawaii is such a dream. That’s on my ‘someday’ list.” (I took note of that.) But I like my fantasies accessible.” I smiled and opened my mouth to make a crack about accessible fantasies, but you clamped it shut with your hand. “And please, have a little self-respect, Cole: the joke’s too easy. Don’t even bother going there.”

(Have I ever told you that I love it when you call me out on my shit?)

“Alright then,” I said, taking your hand and kissing your open palm. “Why Antelope Valley? Why would you want to go there?”

“You’ll laugh.”

I shrugged. “Try me.”

“Alright. It’s a little self-indulgent, but… you know the poppy fields up there?” I nodded. “I want to go there, dress up like a fairy princess, and walk amongst the flowers and have my photo taken.”

I smiled. “Really?”

“Yeah.” Your face scrunched up in embarrassment. “Is that... lame? That’s lame, right? Like, total Manic Pixie Dream Girl bullshit.”

“No, it’s actually…” The first word that came to mind was ‘adorable’. Which was woefully inadequate. I felt as though I had to resort to some insanely specific German word, one that meant “an overwhelming desire to fulfill the dreams of a lover, fuelled by intense feelings of warmth and affection.”

Because even then, mere months into our story, I knew that I wanted to indulge every whim and wish of yours. That I would do anything in my power to make you happy.

“You there?” You waved your hand in front of my face.

I turned to you. “Alright. Let’s do it.”

“What?”

“It’s about an hour’s drive up north from here, and you’ll probably have to change there, but I guess you can always—”

You launched into me so quickly that our teeth knocked together, and I’m pretty sure I bit you by accident.

We laughed about it afterwards. Right before you went on to research every fast food outlet and candy store on the route to the valley. Right before I promised myself that I would do this more often - take adventures with you.

…

obsess (verb)

I traced the soft muscles on your back with my hand, the black dress you wore on the day accentuating it perfectly. Unfairly.

“Get in the car,” I whispered.

In the backseat, I followed that same path with my lips - the one my fingers had made - inhaling the scent of the valley and of your skin.

Creating an addiction from which I could never recover.

…

proprietorial (adjective)  

There are unspoken protocols in archaeology about what to do once you’ve found something incredibly valuable. The first priority is obviously protection, and archaeologists take this seriously; some use code words when talking about the found artifact (like “buttons” for gold, or “lemons” for silver) to avoid the constant threat of public theft, while others employ guards around the clock to preserve the excavation site. The more valuable the artifact, the more serious and intensive the protection.

It might be the archaeologist lying dormant in me, but I guarded the secret of us with a fierce protectiveness. Like a treasure goblin clutching its horde, I held on to the intimate knowledge of our relationship, reluctant to impart it to anyone else beyond my family and closest friends.

Because unlike so much of my life that is co-owned by my brother, or has been co-opted by the public, this thing that we had was wholly and completely mine. Or rather, ours. And I wanted to keep it that way for as long as possible.

There’s something sexy in that. In the secrecy. In what is hidden.

In looking at you from across the room, and knowing that no matter how beautiful you looked in that moment, you were still more transcendent in my arms that morning.

…

quell (verb)

“Tsk, tsk. Be careful, dude.” Mad appeared at my side, a cocktail in her hand. The Comic-Con shindig was our last media obligation for the weekend, and it was pleasing to see her there - one of mine and Debby’s friends from LA, and now one of yours, too.

I gave her a look. “‘Careful’? Of what?”

She shook her head and laughed. “Seriously? You have no idea what you look like right now?”

“Well, I am wearing a nifty red suit--”

“I think technically, that colour’s called oxblood.”

“Yeah, I think I’ll stick to red.” Mad rolled her eyes at me. “Besides my nifty RED suit, I haven’t the faintest idea what the hell you’re talking about.”

She leaned in. “Look I’ve known about it for ages now, so I’m not particularly surprised, but when you’re making those desperate bedroom eyes at Lili...” I scoffed dismissively. She ignored me and went on. “When you’re doing that, you’re pretty much broadcasting your relationship to the whole room. Actually, scratch that - to this whole fucking town. ”

I wanted to brush that off, but she may have had a point.

Comic-Con had been fun, but difficult. Both of us knew that we were under scrutiny, and had zero interest in responding to any rumour or speculation that had nothing to do with the show itself.

Even then, with that in the back of our minds, we just barely managed to suppress ourselves from enacting the normalcy of our relationship. Every time I was in your vicinity, I had to pull myself together, because after months of retaining the memory of your skin, I could barely trust myself not to touch you.

So instead, I sought you out in every interview, every crowded room. It didn’t matter where you stood or sat, whether you were close by or seated far away from me: I always found you, and somehow willed you to look my way. I didn’t really need much more than that - just the assurance that you were there was enough.

The party, however, felt different. As my eyes settled on you - as they were now trained to do - my gaze was drawn to others that had you in their sights. Particularly one - a brash industry type who none too subtly shifted course and crossed over to you and Cami.

Usually, I’m a fairly chilled out boyfriend, but it was the end of an insanely busy week, and I was exhausted and in no mood to look at other guys gawking at you. Or, in this case, brazenly chatting you up.

I put my beer down on a table next to me, my body steely with resolve.

Mad read my mind and nudged me sharply with her elbow. “Hey. Friendly reminder that it’s an Entertainment Weekly party.” The implication was clear: the place was swarming with reporters. Technically off-duty, but obviously still tuned in to any whiff of gossip. “You sure you want to do this?”

“Sure,” I said, shrugging off my blazer. “Fuck it. Tell them we were canoodling.”

I could still hear Mad’s bark of laughter as I walked through the crowd, blazer in hand, driven by purpose. Your back was turned; Camila had to tap your arm to get your attention.

You raised an eyebrow at me as you turned around. “Cole?”

I needed an excuse. Anything. “Are you cold?”

“Cold? Um, I guess...?”

I stepped forward and reached around to drape my jacket over your shoulders - a signal, clear as day, for anyone who cared enough to read into it, including this poor, irrelevant fuckboi who had stupidly attempted to launch a flirtatious offensive your way. As he slunk away, I stayed where I stood, inches away from you, uncaring as to who saw us standing that way, that close.

In your eyes mingled incredulity, confusion and delight. What are you doing? Do you know where we are? “Um. Are you okay?”

Was I? All I knew was that I was with you. And I’d been wanting to do just this one thing all night. Because I was tired of the pretence, and I needed my girl.

I leaned in and kissed you, right there in the middle of that crowded room. You went rigid with panic before melting against me, your lips soft and trusting and pliant in mine.

“I’m fine,” I whispered against your mouth. “Never better.”

…

recurring (verb)

Yours or mine?

At the beginning of every weekend, you asked that on the drive home, your overnight bag sitting in the back of my car.

Yours or mine?

I didn’t mind either. My PS4 was at my place, but at least your washing machine actually worked.

(Okay, so mine just hadn’t been used.)

Yours or mine?

From a Friday ritual, it became a nightly one. Until nights turned into consecutive mornings. You’d go home to get more clothes. Eventually, you bought a toothbrush and left it on my bathroom sink.

One day, you leaned over and whispered at the end of a long day at work, I’m tired.

Let’s go home.

...

surprise (noun)

I gave you a sleepy, lingering kiss goodbye before I left for my weekend shoot in LA. Making sure you were still asleep, I adjusted the folded printout of our Hawaii flight itinerary, propping it up on the nightstand, with a Post-it note stuck on top.

“You and me. New Year’s.”

I wish I was there. I wish I’d recorded it somehow, heard the screams that triggered the complaints to building management. As it turns out, all I received was this, a text message in all caps:

“YOU SNEAKY FUCKER I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH.”

...

trick or treat (noun)

“So this washes off, right?”

“For the fiftieth time, Cole, yes.”

You were carefully drawing my skull teeth lines over the thick white base you’d applied to my face. I poked at your stomach. You looked up, close to the edge of your patience. I’d been doing that to you the entire time.

“Yes?”

“Nothing, I just…” I tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear. “You’re really good at this, you know? I love that.”

I watched as your hard, focused expression softened into appreciation. “Thank you, babe.”

“Also, we can still kiss with this on, right?”

You frowned. “It’ll smudge.”

“But how much are we talking, though? Like full-on smearing, or just a small streak here and there? Because if it’s just a streak, do you think—”

“Cole!”

“No kissing. Got it.”

I shut my mouth, clasped my hands neatly on my lap, the very picture of perfect behaviour. You giggled at the sight.

“Alright, you big baby. Just one more before I have to shade the black in.”

Like a kid being told that he could finally eat all his Halloween candy, I didn’t need to be told twice.

...

uneventful (adjective)

But, in all honesty, so much of who we are dwells in the mundane.

In passing out together on the couch after a long day at work. In the gaps of silence as we trawl through Instagram before settling in for the night. In the text messages compiling the grocery shopping list for the week. In the exasperation as I trip over one of your heels in the dark. In seeing your face dotted with pimple cream. In the arguments over whose turn it was to pick the driving playlist.

Between monotony with you and thrills with anyone else, I’d pick being boring with you. Every single time.  

…

validate (verb)

I rubbed my eyes in frustration and looked at the kitchen clock. 2 am. Fuck. I had an early call time, too.

“Cole?” You came out of the room, bleary-eyed and wrapped in the duvet that you’d dragged off the bed. “You’re still awake.”

“I am.” I swivelled around in my chair to face you. “Everything I’ve taken sucks. It sucks, Lili. I’m sitting here trying to edit my photos, and I’m dying of cringe.”

“Oh, come on. You’re only saying that because it’s two in the morning and you’re your own worst critic. Here, move over.” I shifted a little in my seat as you sat on my lap, duvet and all.

You scrolled through the photos on my laptop. “Okay. Look at this one. See the way you’ve framed Sam here? In the rips of the white plastic?”

“It’s super pretentious, right?”

“No! God, what is wrong with you? It’s stunning. And see how he stands in the landscape, beyond the confines of the plastic? That’s like, a gorgeous metaphor for his process as an artist, how he’s broken free from the mold, how he’s his own man now.”

I sat there silently.

“Oh, and this one? The way you’ve tilted the horizon, and captured the sweep of his trenchcoat, the top hat in his hand? The lines in this are so bold and--”

“Brash?” I grinned at you.

You rolled your eyes. “I was gonna say ‘striking’, but sure, you can go with that.” I hugged you close to me. “Your work is amazing, Cole. Don’t you ever doubt yourself.”

“Thank you.” I kissed your shoulder. “How do you know so much about photography, anyway?”

You gave me a cute little shrug. “I learned from the best.”

…

whipped (adjective)

See: COLE SPROUSE.

...

xenophile (noun)

I thought I was the nerd. But I wasn’t the one who loaned James Michener’s Hawaii from the library and took it out to read on the plane.

It was adorable. But also, it made me want to take you everywhere. To spark your curiosity, to ignite your discoveries, to stoke the wonder.

If there was anyone who could be by your side as you found that the world was your oyster, please, let it always be me.

...

yes (unclassified)

We’re light years away from the fact, but in my idle moments, I imagine it. I imagine how I’d do it - where, and when, and even who might be there.

Maybe our friends. My brother. Your family. Definitely a photographer. In my more delirious flights of fancy, a specially trained pug.

And you. Obviously you. Your hair caught up in the breeze, your eyes widening in surprise before crumpling in the weight of the moment.

Saying yes.

…

zenith (noun)

We stood at the summit, the warm air punctuated by pockets of sea breeze. So many people think of the beach when they think of Hawaii, but - as we found out ourselves - its lush, verdant mountains are just as amazing and sublime.

I held your hand in mine as we looked out over the gorge and at the sea beyond it, the vivid cerulean of the deep bleeding into the viridity of the shallows. There was no-one else around, just us. I pulled you in, holding you in my embrace, relishing being alone with you.

I thought of the year that had passed, and my mind wandered to where I was when midnight struck over to 2017 - running down to the lobby of the William Vale while my brother and our friends waited outside the room we had locked ourselves out of, eating the remains of a pizza off the floor. You and I had tried to call each other to wish each other a happy new year, but in the tangle of signals and the confusion of the room situation, we didn’t make it, settling for a text message instead.

Thinking of the marked contrasts between then and now, a thought began to formulate in my mind - that this was it. That I had hit the proverbial jackpot of fate. Standing there, on the peak of a mountain in Hawaii, holding you in my arms, I had the very best that life had to offer.

But then you tugged at my sleeve and excitedly pointed out a pod of dolphins swimming in the waves, and there and then, I realised that my earlier assumption was wrong. Or at least it wasn’t entirely right. There were surprises around every corner. New heights to be scaled, new adventures to pursue. All of them with you.

“Oh my god, did you see that?” you asked.

I did, Lili. And I saw you. And realised the truth.

Our best still lies ahead of us.

[choose-your-own-url]

Okay, I told myself I would never talk about Priya again, but my urge to insert myself has gotten too strong to ignore even though I feel like a loser for talking about this two days later. This is going to be long so sorry to everyone on mobile who wants to scroll past (honestly don’t blame you lol), but hey, it could be worse.

And just as a general, slightly vague, overview of what is under the cut: be nice to people, don't judge others, you can like villains, creepy is creepy, sexism and homophobia both suck, and fiction=reality isn’t always applicable.

So, first off, stop insulting people and calling them names for thinking differently. This applies to everyone on both sides on any issue really. Frankly, it’s just mean and rude and it doesn’t accomplish anything productive. It only hurts people’s feelings and causes them to get defensive. This in turn makes them resist change. They become more convinced that their side is right because the other side can only be mean and resolve to childish insults. If you’re actually trying to change minds, this approach won’t work. I understand the need to rant and release your emotions, but you have other options, like either keep if off the internet or just vague blog or whatever. Just, please try and always be kind to others.

Now for Priya. Again, I want to reiterate, liking Priya does NOT make you a bad person. Anyone who says or tries to make you think otherwise it just wrong. I sincerely apologise to anyone who has felt personally attacked by the discourse at my hands, though I certainly hope that I have not done that to anyone. I am also sorry in general to anyone that has been hurt, especially wlw. Your real life is hard enough, you don’t need a game that’s meant to offer you an escape and bring you pleasure to add to that. This is something the fandom as a whole should work on.

As for the actual criticisms of Priya, there are two main things I want to address here. I’m going to start with the criticizing people for liking a villain aspect.

If your approach to criticizing the desire for Priya has been because she’s clearly written as an antagonist, maybe don’t do this. There is nothing wrong with liking a villain. People like characters for their allure and complexities, not whether or not their moral compass is perfect.

There are countless male characters this can be applied to, both within the world of Choices and general media. So unless you see a problem with all of them, this argument should probably be dropped. Now, of course you can disagree with liking someone like Priya because of the murder and throwing house boys around and all that jazz, but don’t use your personal disgust as an excuse to make judgements about or attack other people.

Now for the second aspect I want to address, the one I think should be being the focus: excusing similar behaviors of different characters due to gender and attraction. The issue should never have been “Priya is a bad person”, but “Priya acts in a sexually predatory way”. This is the reason for the comparison to Lester rather than any other character.

Lester is a creep. Everyone knows that and no one is trying to defend him. He makes sexual advances on MC regardless of whether or not she wants it. Priya does this as well. Some people who like Priya argue that it’s not creepy because they do want it. However, there are people who don’t. Priya still acts the same, meaning that either way she doesn’t care about how MC feels.

This is the double standard. Lester is universally disliked, Priya isn’t. This difference completely depends on gender and how attracted you are to the two. Double standards are rarely a good thing, and I don't think this is one of the situations where it is. People should always be held accountable for predatory actions, regardless of circumstance.

However, I will add, because I think it is important to note, that the two characters are written very differently. Lester is obviously meant to make the readers uncomfortable and hate him, whereas Priya is written to have a sort of forbidden attraction. Neither are being excused for their actions, but with Priya, it is being used as a way to make her alluring.

Plus, lack of representation and acceptance for gay girls has made standards...low. I’m a bi girl myself. When you have such few options, you tend to latch onto options that aren’t necessarily the healthiest. I’m not innocent of this. I know there are characters I thirst after that logic says I shouldn’t.

Lester’s actions may also be more triggering than Priya’s for some.

When you compound these things together, it's not surprising people like Priya and hate Lester. I feel these are valid points, it’s just not enough to convince me that this double standard is okay.

I also want to say that there are many aspects of society at play here to allow this double standard to exist. I think sexism is the main one.

In (American) society, women are allowed to get away with way more than men in terms of abusive behavior. Things like rape and domestic abuse just aren’t taken seriously when a woman is the perpetrator.* This is because women are seen as weak and overly feminine so they can’t cause any real harm.

To be clear, I don’t see anybody saying Priya isn’t a bad person or that she isn’t toxic. I’m not trying to claim people are. I’m just trying to communicate that saying there is a double standard here isn’t saying men are oppressed. The consequences of misogyny just aren’t all negative in terms of how it affects women.

Homophobia is also relevant to this discourse. Do I think there would be backlash against liking Priya if she was a dude straight girls were obsessing over? Yes, much like how Caleb lovers were criticized. But, this fandom does have a history of homophobia, just as almost all fandoms do. You can’t ignore that history when talking about negative posts that mainly target wlw.

Obviously nobody is intentionally being homophobic with their posts. Regardless, I do feel that homophobia has allowed for people to feel comfortable having an extra level of...aggression, I guess? in their posts. I’m not exactly sure how to describe it, but I do sense it. But basically, what I’m trying to say here is there would still be anti-Priya posts if she was a man, just not at the same level.

There is one final thing I want to talk about: the relation between fiction and reality. I do think fiction mirrors reality, but it isn’t always applicable. Here, I think it’s acceptable to say the different reactions reflect how obsessed with physical attraction society is, but not much beyond that. It certainly isn’t okay to say that if you like Priya you must excuse abuse in real life. As long as the person isn’t blind to the fact Priya is a terrible person, which, again, I don’t think anyone is, then it’s fine to like her.

So, in conclusion, there is nothing wrong with liking Priya. You do you and thirst to your heart’s content. Liking her isn’t the issue. The issue is the difference in reactions to similar characters. But, regardless of your opinion on Priya, I really want to emphasize the point that attacking people is not okay. This means don’t use personal insults to argue with others. It also means don’t make moral judgements about people depending on whether or not they like Priya. Neither of these are productive actions.

Oh, and also, congrats to anyone that read the whole thing. That’s a lot of text for an internet post. Also, again, I’m sorry people on mobile. If only the read more worked. And yes, I just took an hour and half to write a post about discourse for a fictional character. I have too much time on my hands and should maybe get a life.

*I wanted to add that I am not saying Priya is a rapist because I realized people might read it that way. That was just an example of women not being taken seriously.

[adhoption]

I saw Eternals

It’s the Worst MCU Movie Yet, but it’s not as bad as all that.

Still, I have more takes than you need to shoot a two and a half hour movie:

It’s a long two and a half hours. Too long for the plot, which is padded out with discordant flashbacks, and that’s offering an own goal to boring critics like me who are itching for a chance to say “well it felt pretty Eternal to me!!!!”

The mythology-inspired names (with quirky new spellings, like hipster baby names) get a bit grating. We’ve already had Thor and company introduced in the MCU to say Norse mythology was actually based on aliens, but now they’re coming for a random assortment box of the Ancient Greek pantheon and other friends, but spelling them wrong for copyright reasons.

Unlike Thor, they don’t even bother to make them similar to their mythological namesakes, explaining away that the story of Icarus is just a silly rumour spread about Ikaris (who was created as an adult man and can levitate, so I’m not sure how exactly saying he was a little boy who fell into the sea because his wings fell off works). Then at the end there is a cameo from Eros, who has presumably had no contact with Earth, which undermines that whole explanation.

I also thought that the deal was that the MCU get the Norse and the DCEU get Ares and the Amazons and Atlantis and all that, so I was feeling that some invisible line had been crossed, but then they doubled down by confirming Superman exists as a fictional character in the MCU. It’s incredibly jarring to hear a line in a Marvel film where one of their characters in compared to Superman. What next? In the upcoming Batman film, is somebody going to tell Robert Pattinson “oh, so you’re like Iron Man”?

The names are also a bit weird when you watch the two Game of Thrones boys fighting over someone called Sersi.

There is a gratuitous sword scene which seemed solely implanted to name drop King Arthur and something called the ebony blade, which left me feeling vindicated later on as Chekov’s sword was used. It will be interesting if they plunder British mythology next.

The language situation is also a bit strange. Having all of your actors speak English works if you have a Star Wars universe where everyone can speak basic or common or whatever you want to call it, and we can suspend our disbelief that English is being used as a stand-in for that lingua franca. But when Earth exists in your universe, you have a problem. 

They managed to get away with it when Asgard was introduced as an English-speaking planet, on the basis that they have close links to Earth and specifically that area of the world. Then Guardians of the Galaxy blew the ruse open, when everyone Quill meets seems to speak his American English despite Earth humans clearly not having progressed to be part of the galactic community. 

The Eternals pushes that logic to breaking point where aliens coming to Earth in pre-English times speak modern English to each other in ancient Babylon then turn and speak the local language to the nearby humans, then later speak the same English in the present. Why not subtitle their whole old scenes! Otherwise you’re suggesting modern English didn’t evolve as we believe but it simply the language of the aliens who supervised the building of the pyramids.

The expansion of the MCU does something similar in stretching the credibility of the worldbuilding. It’s all a bit ‘double mumbo jumbo’. I mentioned this in my comments on Shang-Chi: you can only add so many new dimensions or types of magic before your world loses all internal consistency. In Phase One they fixed it with the infinity stones as the ultimate source for a bunch of different powers, but now we have magicians and radioactive spiders and all sorts of hidden groups which were secretly the most powerful in the world the whole time but didn’t get involved in the previous wars, not even batting an eyelid when half of them were presumably killed and brought back after five years. 

Looking back, you could potentially fold the various elements in Shang-Chi, the magic and the rings and the separate dimensions and soul eaters, into the Doctor Strange universe. But the Eternals introduces something potentially bigger than the stones with celestials now responsible for the creation of the universe, just like Loki has done with the TVA and their master.

The heavy placement of celestials also sees the MCU tread on its own toes, as Guardians 2 already introduced them with a markedly different appearance and explanation, even if some elements (planting world-seeds to reproduce) are similar. This is an unusual failing for the MCU, which usually goes to pains to plan consistent plots ten films in advance. They really need to acknowledge this and align the two in a future film if this is to be incorporated into the universe.

The pseudoscience nonsense also snapped any suspension of disbelief. It’s often bad in these sort of films, including the blathering around dating rings by their thermal luminescence at the end of Shang-Chi, but here they didn’t even try. The celestials create energy, but the eternals are created with infinite energy (hence they don’t age), but they need to farm humans to make energy (because sentient life has more energy than animals or unused fossil fuels) which can make a new celestial, which can then turn energy into stars and new galaxies (not sure why the existing celestials can’t do it, or whatever created the original ones), which then... are the source of human energy?

One thing that didn’t strain that suspension was the diversity. The film is controversial with the usual idiots on those grounds, and even banned in some countries for having Disney’s eighth first gay character, but if anything the problem is that it’s not diverse enough. If the eternals are supposed to represent all the original native human cultures, why are there so many white Americans instead of indigenous characters? 

The other kind of diversity also makes no sense. One of the eternals is a perma-child for some unexplained reason, something she herself calls out and does not receive an answer. If you’re creating a team with the sole purpose to fight monsters, why make one of them a child with an adult’s brain, dooming her to a life of frustration? In fact, why make one of them unable to speak? (in the comics she’s a vocal male character based on the god Mercury). Surely that gets in the way of the monster-fighting?

It’s actually a bit weird, as a Japanese comic book character is re-cast as Indian and a Russian character is made into an Irish three-eyed raven guy. Why make those decisions? Why not work with the source material?

On a similar note, why do they all have different random light powers, most of which are apparently useless against the monsters they are created to fight, i.e. the whole point of them being there. Why not give all of them strength and lasers and the ability to fly?

Whilst we’re talking about the deviants, I appreciate the twist, although we’ve seen this story before. Oh, the big reveal that the bad guy you were sent to take down was actually your predecessor, abandoned by the same boss who sent you and has lied to you about who they are? It’s all over spy thrillers (even Skyfall has a version) or sci-fi like Ghost in the Shell or Oblivion.

Here it’s necessary, as in Captain Marvel, where the villains are too cliché if left to be monsters, but somehow here it just... has zero impact on the plot. They find the monsters they have been sent to kill are sapient and basically them and have interests which are exactly aligned to theirs, but at no point does anyone try to talk to them. They just go ‘oh, huh’ and go straight back to trying to kill each other as if they never learnt anything.

At least it has that, and another flashback twist, that make the plot more engaging than the standard e.g. Shang-Chi where you know who the bad guy is and just have to wait for the good guys to punch them, but come on. Please, try to make it make sense.

[fangzeronos]

Crisis on Earth-X

Crisis on Earth-X. Never thought I'd see a crossover this goddamn big on television. Two nights, four hours, four shows, a fucking lot of characters. Just as a note, there will be spoilers so don't read if you haven't see the event, otherwise y'all were warned!

Supergirl's episode was great. It kickstarted everything and got the ball rolling. Everyone deciding weather or not to go was great, even if some of the timing was weird. Like why wait until you're in the middle of a fight? Shouldn't that shit be ironed out ahead of time instead of the day before? And how did they get the invitations to the Legends and Kara? Maybe I missed something in last weeks episodes. I really did enjoy seeing Kara and Alex interacting more with the Earth-1 group since last years crossover added Supergirl as what felt like an afterthought. I know it won't happen, but I hope they find a way to keep Sara and Alex a thing. After the many many failed attempts at a relationship on Sara's part and the recent breakup with Maggie on Alex's part, I feel like the two of them would be good for each other, but I know it won't happen in the long run because these writers hate people being happy.

Seeing the Nazi versions of Kara and Oliver was interesting, esepcially given the fact they're married on Earth-X. Tommy Merlyn as Prometheus was a damn interesting twist, even though I was hoping it would have been Roy Harper. Interesting to see Eobard come back disguised as Wells. Wonder when in his Timeline's he's been plucked from, since he makes comments about being dead and out of Time again.

As things heat up on Arrow, finding out more and more about our Third Reich versions of the heroes and their motivations brings some light to why they're doing what they're doing with X-Supergirl needing Kara's heart to stay alive is an interesting twist. Following up with all of the post-wedding fiasco with Oliver and Felicity's drama is kind of a bad idea, but since it [i]was[/i] an Arrow episode in the Event, we can't go without Olicity bullshit. I"m getting fed up with Felicity and have been since season 4 when she started turning into a real bitch. I feel like Team Arrow were wasted, showing up long enough to get their asses kicked and thrown in the Pipeline.

There were some key players missing from Monday's half of the 4 episodes, but I understand why and that they needed to be around for the second half, which brings me to The FLash episode.

Another great episode with Sara, Oliver, Alex, Stien, and Jax being trapped on Earth-X and coming face to face with Quentin's Reich Doppleganger. Paul Blackthorne looked like was having fun finally getting to be a bad guy after 6 years in this Universe. Meeting The Ray and Leo was great, handled nicely and well executed and a surprise that they're a thing on Earth-X. Seeing a badass version of Winn was a nice change, even if Alex wasn't able to let him do what she wanted (again, a nice change XD).

The use of Oliver acting as his Reich Counterpoint to get into the facility was a great idea and one that I saw coming as soon as he said "I've got a plan." The attack on the base was amazingly choroeographed, paced beautifully and kept my attention more then any other fight has on any of the shows in a long time. Great seeing Red Tornado again even if it was for a few minutes and he got his ass EMP'd by The Ray and Flash. Using a Nazi'd Waverider to basically act as a bomb is a ballsy move, but there's been things even ballsier done before on here.

As for Legends.....FUCKING HELL YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE FUN SHOW, NOT THE ONE THAT RIPS OUT OUR FUCKING HEARTS IN THE FIRST 15 MINUTES YOU ASSHOLES! Stien has been one of my favorite characters since his first appearance on The FLash and it's only gotten better with him on the Waverider with Jax. It's going to suck not having him around anymore, but we knew Victor Garber was leaving. There's other ways to leave shows then dying though!

The climax of the crossover was amazing. Kara vs. Kara, Oliver vs. Oliver, Barry vs. Thawne. Team Legends, Team Arrow, Team Flash, Alex taking on Nazis, evil Third Reich Waveriders and everything else was just great. Overgirl going critical was an interesting end to her, and Nate saying he's the Man of Steel did make me laugh. Seeing everyone kicking ass togeher was great.

Then comes Martin's funeral. I'll admit, I fucking cried when he got shot, when he died, and then even more tears at the funeral. I keep telling myself I won't get attatched to fictional characters anymore but it keeps happening and I keep getting my heart ripped out. Jax without Stien is going to be interesting if he sticks around the Waverider.

Midseason finales are next week, leading up to Chistmas and then New Years, but again the CW is going to fuck with the Legends and move them to a new goddamned night to make room for Black Lightning. PUt it back how it used to be. Supergirl on Mondays, Flash on Tuesday, Arrow on Wednesday, Legends on Thursday, and then Black Lightning on Friday.

I was going to end this on a tirade of "Stop saving Felicity from certain death" but that's probably been done and will be done a thousand more times throughout the rest of Arrow's run so I won't.

All in all, great Crossover and I'm excited to see where next year goes and how it's going to top this.

[biofunmy]

Regina King, Damon Lindelof capture comics’ spirit on HBO

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Characters of HBO’s ‘Watchmen’ including Regina King, Jean Smart and Jeremy Irons talk about their favorite bits of alternative history in the show. USA TODAY

The 2019 landscape of HBO’s “Watchmen” has its reality-stretching quirks: a godlike guy hanging out on Mars, the presence of dirigibles but not cellphones, and President Robert Redford. Oh, and don’t forget the rainstorms of interdimensional baby alien squid.

Look closer, though, and the highly anticipated continuation of the seminal 1980s comic book series shows a divided America not unlike our own as it tackles class struggles, systemic racism and white supremacy. And it’s a new “Watchmen” (premiering Sunday, 9 EDT/PDT) that fully embraces the politically charged and completely bonkers spirit of what came before.

“The world of ‘Watchmen,’ that comic did not shy away at all,” says star Yahya Abdul-Mateen II. The modern followup acts as “a reminder of our dark history, but also our dark present we’re living in and dealing with right now.”

What we thought: Review: HBO’s ‘Watchmen’ wants to end racism, but it’s better at telling superhero stories

HBO’s highly anticipated “Watchmen” series stars (from left) Louis Gossett Jr., Hong Chao, Regina King, Jean Smart, Jeremy Irons, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II and Tim Blake Nelson. (Photo: ROBERT DEUTSCH/USA TODAY)

Both the comic and TV version of “Watchmen” (there was also a 2009 film)  are alternate histories of the United States, exploring the ripple effects if superheroes were real.   In their history, we won the Vietnam War with the help of the supremely powerful Dr. Manhattan and the Asian nation became the 51st state. And Richard Nixon wasn’t taken down by Watergate, but instead nixed term limits and served into the 1980s. 

The HBO series is set 34 years after the events of the comic, which took place in an alternate 1985 and saw World War III staved off by a space squid that landed in New York City and killed 3 million people with a psychic blast. This “Watchmen” begins with the 1921 Tulsa Race Massacre and follows that city’s cops, who wear yellow masks to keep their identities secret. They’re fighting  the terrorist group Seventh Kavalry, a modern version of the Ku Klux Klan clad in the headwear of infamous Watchmen vigilante Rorschach. 

Masked cop Angela Abar (Regina King) leads the effort against the white supremacist group Seventh Kavalry in “Watchmen.” (Photo: MARK HILL/HBO)

Initially, executive producer Damon Lindelof (“The Leftovers,” “Lost”) was concerned about “being a cover band, trying to rip off the original ‘Watchmen.’ ” So he aimed to be as original as the ‘80s storyline: Before weaving in elements of the past, the nine-episode first season focuses on Angela Abar (Regina King), a detective who goes by the superhero moniker Sister Night, and other new characters including her husband, Cal Abar (Abdul-Mateen), human lie detector Looking Glass (Tulsa, Oklahoma, native Tim Blake Nelson) and wheelchair-bound mystery man Will Reeves (Louis Gossett Jr.).

Old-school personalities are there, too, and not just Dr. Manhattan on his Martian sojourn. FBI agent Laurie Blake (Jean Smart), an original “Watchmen” superhero known as Silk Spectre who now takes down costumed vigilantes, is called to Tulsa and becomes involved in the problems and conspiracies. Enigmatic trillionaire Lady Trieu is also in town, building the equally puzzling Millennium Clock. Then there’s the comic’s hero-turned-antagonist Adrian Veidt (Jeremy Irons), who’s  involved in a strange bit of business at bucolic castle estate.

Listen to this week’s episode of USA TODAY’s podcast, The Mothership, to hear our TV Critic’s six episode review of HBO’s “Watchmen” in the player below.

Lindelof likens a viewer unfamiliar with the “Watchmen” saga to an early follower of Christianity who first hears of Jesus Christ, but finds the New Testament didn’t erase the Old: “Everything that you know is true – Adam and Eve, Noah and the Ark, Daniel in the lion’s den, the parting of the Red Sea, all of that stuff happened – but we want to tell you this new story as well.”

Executive producers Damon Lindelof and Nicole Kassell are creative forces behind HBO’s “Watchmen,” a continuation of the seminal 1980s comic book. (Photo: ROBERT DEUTSCH/USA TODAY)

The seminal “Watchmen” comic is considered sacrosanct  by many. “It really touched me that it’s truly adult,” says executive producer Nicole Kassell, who directs the first two episodes. “There are some very poetic, poignant statements.”

Smart also was unfamiliar with the comic, although her son’s friend “just about passed out” learning she’d be playing an iconic character. Chau hadn’t heard of it either, leading Lindelof to spend two and a half hours explaining the story. “I was like, ‘Wait, what’s going on?!’ It was a lot to digest.”

Irons is another self-described “Watchmen virgin” who stars as the genius antagonist Adrian, whose bizarre journey in the show borrows from the tale-within-a-tale aspect of the comic. “We’re used to storytelling like this at the moment,” he says. “It demands quite a lot of the audience, and I think it’s interesting.”

Jeremy Irons stars as original “Watchmen” character Adrian Veidt in the new HBO series. (Photo: COLIN HUTTON/HBO)

The “Watchmen” comics deconstructed the popular superheroes of the ‘80s, but Lindelof instead focuses on another central theme, how masks cover one’s face yet also reveal something about identity. “We all hide little parts of ourselves, even if it’s just hiding behind sarcasm,” Smart says.

King’s main protagonist wears multiple masks – physical and metaphorical – and “she’s a representation of just every human being,” the actress says. “We switch our masks all the time.”

Gossett connected to that element, and says “it goes deeper than Damon realized. He touched on something very sensitive. From the end of slavery until now, everybody has had to wear a mask of some sort. Our mutual survival as a people has to do with us dropping those masks, once and for all.”

Laurie Blake (Jean Smart) was a superhero in the 1980s and now is an FBI agent hunting masked vigilantes in “Watchmen.” (Photo: MARK HILL/HBO)

Digging into issues of the day is also a “Watchmen” hallmark. The original comic wrestled with Cold War paranoia and nuclear fears, so it made sense to Lindelof that race be central to the new series. And “because I’m a white guy,” making sure he treated those issues with respect worried and challenged him.

“I can listen to the ‘1619’ podcast or talk about all the Ta-Nehisi Coates books I’ve read until I’m blue in the face,” Lindelof says. But “when I walk into a department store, nobody is following me around. I’m not getting pulled over. But at the same time, I don’t think that you can tell any story, fictional or otherwise, that sort of models the realities of living in America today that is not dealing with race. It just comes up in every way, shape and form.”

Eccentric masked man Looking Glass (Tim Blake Nelson, center) is a part of a Tulsa police force who hide their identities in “Watchmen.” (Photo: MARK HILL/HBO)

The show “is a version of our world, but it also pokes at (the issue of), well, we can end up here,” King says. “You can’t help but kind of go, ‘Huh. Did Damon have a crystal ball in some ways?” Angela represents  “the history of black people in America: It’s your history, taken away from you and not knowing where you’re from.”

“Watchmen” is an alt-history tale, yet its extremes “reflect back on us exactly what we’re experiencing in America right now in terms of friction points,” says Nelson. It’s the kind of show that examines those points “and demands that, yes, it is worth picking at some of these scars.”

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[neuxue]

Who are some of your favorite female characters? From anything ever?

Off the top of my head (because otherwise this will take hours), and in no particular order:

Marisa Coulter from His Dark Materials. Probably one of my top 3 favourite characters of anything ever just in general. 

Raederle from the Riddle Master Trilogy. Her character, arc, and relationships with other characters are all beautifully written and developed. She's first mentioned in the series as what seems to be the token love interest, and then she actually appears in the series and wow that first impression was inaccurate. (That said, she also has the honour of being one half of one of the very, very few romantic pairings I’ve genuinely enjoyed reading, rather than merely tolerated).

Jasnah Kholin, from the Stormlight Archive. [Spoilers] she’s a scholar-knight of the apocalypse, what’s not to love? Beyond that...I’m weird about ‘identifying with’ characters, in that I never quite feel like I do - I tend to identify more with specific aspects, rather than with a character as a whole, and I usually prefer to enjoy characters from a little bit more distance. But I come closer to identifying with Jasnah than I do with most characters, and I find her very...cathartic, I suppose, to read.

Egwene, from the Wheel of Time. There are a few WoT characters I considered listing here, but I’m giving this to Egwene because her character arc is fantastic.  I also love that she’s a hero-by-choice, and that she’s allowed to be ambitious.

Moiraine, from the Wheel of Time. Moiraine gets a spot for being a female - and in many ways very feminine - character who is also a) ruthless and b) not a villain. It’s a combination I love in any character, regardless of gender, but it’s pretty damn rare in female characters, so I love it extra.

Delilah Bard, from the Shades of Magic trilogy. Lila is another one who gets to have a combination of traits uncommon in female characters - and a combination that makes her very much my fictional Type. Sharp as her knives and not fantastic at morality, ambitious and competent enough to back it up, bordering on human disaster without sacrificing that competence, and willing - no, eager - to leave her world behind without a second glance. But for all that, she’s...real.

Rey, from Star Wars. I’ve seen some mixed commentary about here around here recently, but watching The Force Awakens for the first time really was like seeing the childhood hero I never knew I could wish for appear, 15-ish years late but oh so spectacularly. Rey isn’t The Female Lead, or The Heroine; Rey is the lightsaber-wielding Campbellian hero who has come to save the galaxy. I think what struck me most about Rey was the way her gender was...entirely irrelevant within the story (but anything but irrelevant from an external perspective).

Shai, from The Emperor’s Soul. I have a Type, and not many female characters get to be written as that Type, but Shai comes pretty damn close. She’s terrifying and I love her.

Vex, from Critical Role. This is probably due in large part to the fact that Laura Bailey is a goddess. But Vex has a beautiful, organic, and subtle character arc that has been a joy to watch. I also appreciate how - probably due to the nature of the show and the way the story is created - she can have a romantic relationship that (!) doesn’t come at the expense of or overshadow all of her relationships with other characters. Miracles.

Natasha Romanov aka Black Widow, from Marvel. I often dislike how she’s written or portrayed, but the...idea?...of her character is weirdly important to me.

Vin, from Mistborn. “I’m not a good person or a bad person. I’m just here to kill things.” I mean what was I supposed to do with that? But really, she’s another one who gets a lovely progression across the series. Because no long post can be complete without a Hamilton quote...Look at where you are. Look at where you started. She learns to love and trust and cherish along the same path that turns her into a living weapon, and somehow neither of those things inhibits the other. 

Lyra, from His Dark Materials. Ah, Lyra. She’ll always have a special place in my heart for being the viewpoint character who introduced me to the fantasy genre. And then there’s her actual character and story.

[oscopelabs]

The Arc Of Stanley Kubrick: From ‘Killer’s Kiss’ to ‘Eyes Wide Shut’ by Noel Murray

Stanley Kubrick made just 13 feature films in his nearly 50-year career, and from the ‘60s through the ‘90s—the era in which “a Stanley Kubrick picture” had a meaning—each new project went through more or less the same press-cycle. During production, reports would leak out about the grueling shoot, and how the reclusive Kubrick was testing the boundaries of cinema and propriety. Then the film would come out, and the critical reaction would be mixed to muted, with some declaring the new work a masterpiece and others calling it a disappointment—or even a pretentious fraud. Years would pass, and with time to sink in, each movie would be extensively reevaluated, eventually landing on “best of the decade” or even “best of all time” lists. It was as though each picture had to re-teach the audience how to watch a Stanley Kubrick film.

Eyes Wide Shut is the best case-in-point. Shooting began in the November of 1996 in London, and ended in June of 1998. Throughout that year and a half, there was gossip galore about what Kubrick was up to. The press knew primarily that the film starred Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman—Hollywood’s most popular couple at the time—and that it was going to be sexually explicit. Once filming completed, Kubrick spent nine months working with editor Nigel Galt, fine-tuning. Less than a week after he completed a final cut and showed it to Warner Bros. and his stars, he died.

So when the movie came out that summer, for a good long while the conversation surrounding it was about everything but what Kubrick had actually made. Instead, the press was preoccupied by…

… the decision to digitally obscure the orgy scenes, to avoid an NC-17 rating.

… whether Cruise and Kidman had wasted a year of their careers making stilted softcore porn.

… how American audiences reacted to seeing two of the biggest movie stars in the world in a slow-paced art-film.

… whether the Pinewood Studios version of Manhattan looked real enough.

… whether Warner Bros. was going to make its money back.

… if this was the proper capper to a prestigious career.

By the end of 1999 though, a film that had generally been tagged as a “letdown” was being rehabilitated. Roger Ebert taped a special edition of his syndicated TV series, wherein prominent Chicago critics extensively unpacked Eyes Wide Shut—and thus subtly rebuked the large number of well-known New York critics who’d initially shrugged the movie off. The film made a healthy handful of best-of-‘99 lists (including in New York), and in the decades since it’s generally become regarded as one of the ‘90s supreme cinematic achievements, and indisputably worthy of its maker.

Most of the shift in conventional wisdom was due to Kubrick himself. When artists produce outstanding work throughout their careers, it’s easier to trust that they knows what they’re doing—and that if we don’t “get it” right away, we should look again. It’s also true that once a film is out of the multiplex marketplace, questions like, “Did you like it?” become less pressing. Opinion takes a backseat to analysis. And with Eyes Wide Shut, there’s as much to pick through and puzzle over as in any of Kubrick’s films—even though almost nothing that happens in the picture is left unexplained.

Based on Arthur Schnitzler’s Traumnovelle, the movie has Tom Cruise playing Dr. Bill Harford, a successful New York general practitioner who lives in a lavish apartment with wife Alice (Kidman) and their young daughter. The story begins with the couple going to a lavish Christmas party thrown by Bill’s patient Victor Ziegler (Sydney Pollack), where the pair flirts with other guests before the doctor’s called in by his host to attend to a nude, overdosing woman. The next night, Bill and Alice have a testy argument about sexual desire, during which Alice confesses that she’s recently lusted after another man. Still fuming, he leaves the apartment to go on a house call, and begins a winding two-day odyssey that sees him sexually tempted multiple times. A combination of desperate arousal and burning envy nearly puts him in mortal danger, after he crashes a bizarre masquerade party at a country estate.

For a long time, Bill’s journey into the night feels like an erotic dream that keeps threatening to become a nightmare. (In fact, Traumnovelle is sometimes translated in English as A Dream Novel or Dream Story.) But at the end, Bill meets again with Victor, who offers a different interpretation of the previous 48 hours. Bill’s anxious because the morning after he was ejected from the masquerade, one of his friends went missing and a woman who helped him turned up dead. Victor insists that the friend just left town, the woman was a junkie prostitute, and the masked men at the party weren’t really threatening Bill, they were maintaining the theatrical illusion of an event meant to resemble a decadent, dangerous gathering of some ancient clandestine tribunal.

Victor could be lying. Or more likely he’s acting as Kubrick’s surrogate, telling the audience not to think too hard about shadowy cabals and unsolved murders, because that’s not really what Eyes Wide Shut is about.

For those who prefer to focus only on plot, Eyes Wide Shut is the story of a couple who live comfortably, but only because they offer something of value to those even richer than themselves. Bill’s most embarrassing experience at the masquerade is his discovery that even when he knows the right people, he’s not really in their league. Alice, meanwhile, in one of her few big scenes, admits to a lecherous older man that she’s out of work, as he paws at her and makes promises to reintroduce her to the art world.

According to Kubrick’s closest confidantes though, the real reason he wanted to make Eyes Wide Shut wasn’t to explore class, but to scrutinize marriage. That may seem dubious, given how little screen-time Bill and Alice share. But as far back as the early ‘60s—when he was making his frustratingly neutered version of Nabokov’s Lolita—Kubrick reportedly talked about making a movie that dealt frankly with sex in the context of a committed relationship. The mysteries of married life are mostly covered in one scene, when Alice admits that she feels closest to Bill when she’s attracted to other guys. Her argument makes a perverse sense, but the thought that she lusts after strangers but comes home to him doesn’t comfort Bill, who’s so haunted by her confession that he immediately goes out and spends two days trying (and failing) to have sex with anyone, anywhere. He becomes every husband who’s ever been told “not tonight honey” and then spent the weekend acting really pissy about it.

Critics and audiences in the summer of 1999 didn’t miss any of Eyes Wide Shut’s underlying themes, because again, Kubrick made them pretty plain. The question instead was whether he needed to spend two-and-a-half hours on something so seemingly slight, with performances so… spacey. Whenever Kubrick gets tagged as “detached,” “chilly,” or even “misanthropic,” it’s usually because of his preferred style of acting. His characters tend either to over-emote (like Jack Nicholson in The Shining or R. Lee Ermey in Full Metal Jacket) or speak slowly and flatly (like everybody in 2001 and Barry Lyndon). Kubrick also likes to break up the lines of dialogue with long pauses, which slows the pace further and makes reactions seem less natural. Viewers who dislike Eyes Wide Shut—which included the large numbers of 1999 cinema-goers who lined up to see two movie stars get naked—often trash the performances as “bad.” But it takes a lot of skill to maintain poise and charisma while the director’s shouting, “Do it again, but slower.”

***

The discord between the affectless and the over-the-top in Kubrick’s films dates all the way back to his earliest work—though in the likes of Paths Of Glory, the artificiality was disguised by an overall swiftness of pace that Kubrick would later eschew. There was a gradual evolution to the director’s style. What unites Kubrick’s awkward early independent films and his later big-budget studio work is a sophistication and worldliness, far removed from the palliative approach of other movies from their era. As a young filmmaker he’d treat each shot and each scene as a unique creative exercise, in effort to make audiences say, “Well, that’s new.” Early on he wove his preferred stylized acting into images that were strikingly lit but otherwise steeped in photographic realism. Meanwhile, his scripts that make liberal use of narration and time-jumps, suggesting fresh, inventive ways of telling stories through cinema.

Kubrick became a filmmaker as an extension of his day job as a Look magazine photographer. He taught himself how to operate a cheap movie camera in his early 20s, so that he could make some money from a newsreel company that needed shutterbugs. Building off of that experience, Kubrick made the hourlong 1952 fiction feature Fear And Desire, with his family’s money. Though the ultra-low-budget war movie is so ponderous and clumsy that the director later disowned it, it showed enough promise to impress a few critics and get limited theatrical distribution in 1953—rare for an indie. So Kubrick reunited with his Fear And Desire screenwriter, future Pulitzer Prize winner Howard Sackler, to make 1955’s Killer’s Kiss. Kubrick’s second feature film is less of a grand statement on human existence and more of an attempt to show off his eye.

Killer’s Kiss has barely any story. Jamie Smith plays Davey Gordon, a boxer on his last legs, while Irene Kane is Gloria Price, a dancer-for-hire who lives in the apartment across from his window. Like Robert Wise’s classic 1949 noir The Set-Up, Kubrick and Sackler’s peek at urban squalor uses the fighter and the hoofer’s separate preparations for their jobs as an way of exposing city life at its most sweaty, exhausting, and lurid. Then Gloria gets harassed by a mob-connected thug, and when Davey intervenes, Killer’s Kiss turns into a minor-key romance, broken up by long chase scenes. Almost the entire last 20 minutes consists of shots of people on the run, strikingly framed atop and betwixt towering skyscrapers.

On the Criterion Collection Blu-ray of the 1956 thriller The Killing (which contains the entirety of Killer’s Kiss as a bonus feature), critic Geoffrey O’Brien narrates a video-essay about Kubrick’s second film, praising its “tremendous sense of possibility” and its “made up as it goes along quality.” What he’s mainly referring to is how much of the 67-minute running time is dedicated to simple, docu-style New York street scenes. Unlike the studio-shot artificiality of Eyes Wide Shut’s NYC—which was so phony that residents of the city, critics included, griped about all the geographic and architectural inaccuracies—the New York of Killer’s Kiss is almost frighteningly real, depicting a metropolis always teetering on the edge of mayhem. O’Brien and other critics have compared Kubrick’s cinematography to the stark crime-scene photographs of Arthur “Weegee” Fellig.

That shouldn’t be surprising, given Kubrick’s past. He started filing photo essays for Look as a teenager, after catching the magazine’s attention with a staged photograph of a New York news vendor reacting to Franklin Delano Roosevelt's death. As a photographer, he specialized in mocked-up scenes of city life, from paddy wagons to college campuses, all viewed from skewed and cynical perspectives. He frequently arranged his subjects in series of shots to create a narrative—often steeped in irony—but because he couldn’t control the environment, the snaps contain a lot of spontaneity.

Kubrick brings those gifts to Killer’s Kiss, particularly in the scenes that take place in Davey’s apartment, where he peers into a tiny fishbowl while the tight spaces and big open windows behind him reveal him as his own kind of animal trapped behind glass. Killer’s Kiss features a number of standout visual experiments: a graceful ballet sequence; a boxing match playing out in quick cuts (with views from the canvas and the ropes); a nightmare sequence constructed from polarized footage; a special effect that makes the screen look cracked after someone throws a glass toward the camera; a fight in a mannequin warehouse; and an over-the-top corny “letter from home” from the rural northwest, heard in voiceover while the hero rides in a grubby subway car. But what’s most impressive is that—over three decades before Eyes Wide Shut—Kubrick tours through a New York where characters feel like they’re on display, and where they can’t disguise their base desires.

***

By the time Kubrick crossed over to the mainstream with the tough, taut genre pieces The Killing and Paths Of Glory, he’d acquired a distinctive style and tone: a sort of detached disgust. But in all the conversations about Kubrick’s technical mastery and bleak vision of humankind, what often gets missed is that the man had a mischievous wit. He was known to have late-night transatlantic phone calls with his American friends and colleagues where he’d gush enthusiastically about his favorite TV sitcoms and movie comedies. Dr. Strangelove is his most overtly comic picture, but there’s a strong element of wry humor in nearly all of his films, even if it’s just in the contrast between the pretensions of high society and its baser impulses. That’s evident throughout Barry Lyndon, for example, where all the powdered wigs and finery can’t cover up the characters’ greed and cowardice.

Tom Cruise has rarely gotten enough credit for how funny he is in Eyes Wide Shut as Dr. Bill: an earnest man accustomed to winning friends and clients with his skill for saying exactly the right bland, inoffensive thing at the right time. As he investigates the sexual underground of New York—flashing his medical certification like a police detective’s badge—he becomes increasingly pathetic, and comic. Eyes Wide Shut is especially perverse in the way Kubrick keeps undercutting the eroticism and elegance. The film opens with a shot of Alice’s bare backside, then a few minutes later shows her sitting on a toilet. Later, when Bill gets lured by what appears to be a high-class hooker, he steps into an apartment cluttered with dirty dishes and drying laundry. The women in Eyes Wide Shut are impeccably made up and coiffed, but Kubrick subverts the “painted doll” effect by adding a pair of glasses, or putting them in unflattering nude poses. If the movie has one keystone shot, it may be the seemingly random cut back to Alice sitting in her kitchen eating Snackwell cookies while Bill’s out testing his manhood.

That fascination with minutiae ultimately is the best rebuke to the notion that Kubrick sneers at humanity. Again and again in his films the characters are seen in small moments where their guard is down and they’re being endearingly human. Almost as much as its magnificently choreographed battlefield scenes and dark ironies, Paths Of Glory is a masterpiece because of scenes like the one where two French soldiers talk about how they’d prefer to die—sounding like a couple of caffeinated dudes in a dorm, not warriors on the frontline. In Eyes Wide Shut, while Kubrick’s orchestrated gliding camera moves through Bill and Alice’s apartment, he has the two of them talking about the name of the babysitter, and saying that they’ll hold their cab for her when they get home from Victor’s party.

It’d be wrong to say that characters in Kubrick films talk like regular people talk. But they are often preoccupied with the mundane in ways that are conspicuous, given how deep and heavy his movies are so much of the time. The filmmaker may have been short on faith in mankind, but he loved and understood his fellow homo sapiens in his own weird way.

So why did it always seem to take so long for even Kubrick fans to unpack everything his movies had to offer… including the humor, and the subtle empathy? Blame—or credit—his dense and imposing style, which was often the only thing critics could notice about his work on first viewing. It’s much easier to appreciate what’s happening in Killer’s Kiss, where Davey in voice-over openly admits to being turned on by how Gloria is “all smiles and yawns” when she invites him in for breakfast. The fumbling, the fawning, the fear… it’s all right there on the surface in Kubrick’s earliest films. His vision of the world didn’t change much between the early ‘50s and the late ‘90s. He just started wrapping it in layers.

[rainstormcolors]

Alright, I did it! It’s March, but I did it!

This list is hella Kaiba-centric. That was kind of inevitable I guess.

1) See this post I guess. I talk about this nerd too much.

2) Mokuba Kaiba. I like Anime Mokuba, but if I’m honest I also find that version of the character to be quite static. I think it’s in the pages of the manga where this kid shines his brightest. He isn’t just a prop for his difficult brother but is instead a character in his own right with his own arc and a headstrong personality. He’s devoted and proactive, and he has his own battle of opening up to the world. It’s a subtler journey, but he too is trying to escape the darkness of their past. His initial prickliness is a front, and that front falls away as the other characters come to support him. My sentiment cements his place here. Oh geeze, Duelist Kingdom… (It’s of course perfectly alright for a person to prefer other versions of these characters.)

3) Yugi Mutou. I consider Yugi and Atem to be co-protagonists. Don’t be mistaken, I like Atem as well, but Yugi sneaks past. There’s a warmth and gentleness to him, and there’s quietly blossoming strength and stray vulnerabilities. He has this crumpled view of himself and as the story progresses, that view becomes something more pristine. I think the narrative undercut the scope of his development and I think he deserved more page time, but he’s still my third favorite character overall. His capacity for kindness is touching. He is the center of the web of relationships.

4) Noa Kaiba. A tragic, doomed, and loveless brat, who crumbles after just one sincere gesture of caring.

5) Atem. His grandiose personality hides what is ultimately, quietly a tragic figure: he’s a prisoner who has already died once and whose fate is to die again. When the story first sprouted, before it found its footing, he was a violent vigilante who lashed out in what seemed to be a mechanism of Yugi’s distress. Psychological torture is wrong and it’s a mistake to take him as a hero at this part of the story. It’s debatable how intentional it was, but what comes across is that as Atem interacts with the world and gains a better grasp of himself as a real being he pulls away from acting out the sparks of Yugi’s emotions, because he understands he’s no longer just Yugi’s darker half. His self-righteousness remains but it becomes something more noble and self-sacrificing then.

6) It’s not much of a secret that I favor the original manga by Kazuki Takahashi. I find it to be more nuanced and less bloated, but I understand why others prefer the anime. It’s just my preference. Otherwise, the only other series I’m familiar with in any capacity is GX.

7) It’s tricky because there are specific aspects I enjoy about each arc in the manga. For the opening volumes of the story, I like watching the friendships build, those moments of vulnerability between the characters, and I also like the little flourishes of character details that vanish once the card games take the reins. At Duelist Kingdom, those moments regarding the Kaiba brothers tug my heartstrings like little else in fiction. There’s also a freshness to the storytelling here that’s difficult to describe; I think it’s because the changed circumstances are new to the characters as well. Things feel more routine by Battle City. But Battle City has many moments I savor as well. I guess I have to go with Duelist Kingdom overall.

8) “For him. The Pharaoh.”

But from the original series? The problem with trying to pinpoint quotes is that it isn’t the quote itself I value, it’s what it means within the narrative and to the characters to me. I want to list Seto’s oohrah speech to Atem after Atem buckles in the pressure of facing Osiris, but it’s because of what that moment means for the characters.

9) I’m so bad at picking out quotes. I’m really just picking out some favorite scenes. “I took something important from this duel. The light of hope.” That doesn’t work at all outside of the context of the story. How about, “I love you”?

No! Wait wait wait! How could I forget the line, “I was able to win this long because I had a rival like you, striving for a higher place. I know it’s the same for you. What are you? My rival... My friend... Why does this line stand between us?”

10) In the anime, it’s when Jonouchi sings to pick out a pod at Alcatraz tower. In the manga, for whatever reason I find it funny when in the night at Pegasus’ castle, Ryou blurts out to distract the guards.

11) If I’m honest, I never got a sense the characters were ever truly in danger. I knew they’d always pull through in the end. Even regarding the scene I mentioned in Answer 1, I didn’t imagine he was going to actually fall. It was an emotional investment.

12) The reveal of the lockets at Duelist Kingdom. It’s bittersweet, poignant, and maybe a bit manipulative. “Before this, our only real exposure to the Kaiba brothers had been at Death-T, and Kazuki Takahashi was clearly playing with the audience’s expectation for what kind of person Seto would be post-mind-crush. To get the audience to care about these two would take something truly heart-tugging.” And it was. It’s piercing.

13) I have to return to the scene at the castle as mentioned in Answers 1 and 11.

14) Prideshipping. I fell for this ship in 2009 I think. Prior to this I was never really into shipping. I’ve already rambled on about these two elsewhere.

                                       “But I have seen the best of you and the worst of you, and I choose both.”

15) Seto and Mokuba. I’m aware there are complications, some weighty complications. But they reach so desperately for each other at Duelist Kingdom, and then they’re nearly always side-by-side in Battle City. It sings to the soft side of my heart.

16) Rivalshipping. I fell for this ship in maybe 2012, or some year close to that. In a way, the answer to 24 is a snapshot of why, though I answered 24 independent of this question.

17) I’m in love with the bond between Atem and Seto on the platonic level as well. I also enjoy the bond between Yugi and Atem. And I also like the friendships lacing through Yugi’s troop. I would consider the relationships between Jonouchi and Yugi, Yugi and Atem, and Atem and Seto to be the sails of the story.

I’m gonna be honest… I don’t put all that much thought into the card game. I could give answers if I had to, but there would be no passion.

24) Yugi’s gesture of pure sympathy, tenderness, and understanding, and Seto’s heartbroken expression. Yugi’s unwavering kindness meets Seto’s aching vulnerability, over the shell of their shared dead friend. With or without the ideological battlefield, it’s a powerful moment.

25) Diva. I’m aware his backstory is cookie-cutter and his motivations aren’t original even within this storyline, but overall there’s something about the character that works for me. I attribute it to the presence of his voice actor, who endows Diva with a storminess and young regality. And to be more shallow for a moment, I like his character design as well. I think I’m just a sucker for his archetype even when it’s not the most lustrous.

26) Sera was a flat-note for me. She’s too pure and cutesy. Though I do find the contrast between her presentation in Transcend Game against her presentation in DSoD to be a bit unusual. (I suppose her manipulating Kaiba is another parallel with Isis, but Isis does it better.)

27) Even if I adore the movie personally, it’s not as if I don’t understand the criticisms levied against it or believe it’s anywhere near perfect myself. I’m well aware it’s not. The high notes just hit so high for me. For my personal complaints, I think it would have been nice to give Jonouchi and Anzu a little more gravity. I would suggest trading out the puppyship fanservice scene for perhaps a moment where Jonouchi bonds with Yugi. In turn, during the final meeting with Kaiba, Jonouchi might say something brief to him. Just what he says I don’t know, but in any case it would have more substance than a dream. It should go without saying I wish the dub’s script was more faithful to the original Japanese, but I’ll still enjoy the dub until the DVD/Bluray comes out. I do wonder what was in the half-hour supposedly cut from the script. I would totally watch a three-hour-long YGO movie.

[catsgomiao-blog]

Get Out

So tonight, I finally had some down time and watched two awesome movies - Get Out and The Lego Batman Movie. I don’t have much to say about the latter (nor do I really have the right to, since I slept through a good fifteen minutes of the movie), but I will talk about Get Out because it makes me so damn excited that there’s now a popular and critically acclaimed film that exists in the intersection of horror, science fiction, comedy, and social commentary. Bear with me - it’s 1 AM and I’m pretty sleepy. 

Jordan Peele’s debut film is absolutely hilarious, brilliant, and relevant. It’s an allegory about race relations in America that takes you out of your comfort zone and transplants you into mystifying depths of terror and laughter. Although it doesn’t rise above horror tropes (cough - and damn you - jump scares) and is intellectually aggressive, Get Out possesses such refreshing storytelling that you are consistently curious throughout the movie. It’s a deeply thoughtful and subversive film that never comes off as *too* pedantic. 

Chris Washington (played by Brit actor Daniel Kaluuya - yes, the dude in the second episode of Black Mirror) is a young Black photographer who visits his white girlfriend’s family reluctantly. His girlfriend, Rose, is played none other than Allison Williams, aka Marnie from Girls, aka someone who is associated with what is the pillar of white feminism. Bae seems to be woke and open-minded, defending Chris against a white officer’s racial profiling and claiming that her dad would vote for Obama if he ran a third term. Racial tensions are made clear at the beginning of the movie when Chris asks Rose if her parents know that he’s Black. While characters in horror movies never seem to know that they’re being hunted or hurt until it’s too late, the Black man in this movie knows that he should watch his back always. 

Strange events transpire when the couple arrives at the Armitage estate. Rose assures him otherwise and her well-off physician parents Atticus Finch the hell out of Chris to make him as comfortable as possible. But like I said, weird shenanigans go down. The Black servants at Armitage residence vacillate between politely hostile and Stepford wife creepy. Rose’s mother Missy (played by the brilliant Catherine Keener) performs some freaky hypnosis on Chris in the middle of the night that brings him back to memories of his mother’s death. The only other black person at the Armitages’ party is eerily docile and freaks out when Chris’ phone flashes. Chris’ friend Rod (Lil Rel Howery), a TSA agent and the comic relief of the movie, keeps in contact with him via phone. Rod’s convinced that there’s something wrong with the estate, that the white people in Rose’s neighborhood are turning Black people into “sex slaves.” 

Well, without spoiling too much of the movie, Rod isn’t far off. Get Out explores everything from racial hierarchies of power to perverse depictions of agency in the face of abuse and torture. It explores that malice (through a very exaggerated example) that belies the benign smile of the white savior complex, satirizing white liberal elite culture for distancing itself from implications of racism in the most grotesque way possible. There’s honestly so much to be said about Rose and her family, but I can’t without spoiling the last half hour of the movie. Just go watch it!

Peace out for now - and hopefully I will come back soon for a review of Mad Men, which I recently binged the last couple of weeks.