#pala’s reading list

[ziggyevenstar]

bumped into a friend in a coffee shop. she’s got a table full of law stuff— book, papers, laptop and tablet. she said she’s been there since 11am. it’s now 5:54pm and she just left. she said she started going to ateneo law two weeks ago. she told me things like how she’s anxious to go through all of it, or how she’s been so lucky because she’s yet to experience her first recit. i told her my experiences and some were so bad. in retrospect, they’re all so funny now— so we laughed—something i never thought i would do when looking back on those experiences. but because i had to be encouraging, i mostly said good things about law school. and somewhere between “kumusta?” and “noong ako…”, i found myself thinking law school was a great experience. there are so many things i wish i could redo??? so many days i wish i viewed through different lenses??? although i would never wish to go back to law school and experience all of it again (recits, exams, reading lists that never seem to end), i also wish i never treated that part of my life as something i couldn’t wait to get out of. because it could be beautiful din pala but i never allowed it to be more than just a place for stress and trauma, and it took me graduating to realize that. i just wish i romanticized it more??? like when i went almost everyday to coffee shops to study, the barista in this one coffee place knowing my order, inuman sessions after bad recits, or buying small stuff like sticky notes, pencil cases or pens. idk. i wish i dressed up more??? maybe i could’ve bought a school sweatshirt??? hahaha idk. maybe it’s also because i’m not there anymore, stressing about the readings so i think like this now??? maybe it’s because of all these tiktok videos of law students i’m seeing. i don’t know. i just saw my friend, she’s got all these years ahead of her in law school and i just found myself so SO excited for her. 💓 i guess i should romanticize “now” more than i do. like what the fuck am i doing just letting good things pass without enjoying them? i don’t want “now” to be another thing i look back on and think it’s actually more beautiful than i thought. appreciate things more, love things more 💓

[cbairdash]

Some short works and a web serial for some reading this week!

On this lovely day, I thought I would shout out to my works in progress and worldbuilding ( though one is not so work in progress but is short but done! ). Two are worldbuilding but also get into RPG game design that I’m proud of, too. As for the AU one, yeah, it’s Star Wars AU, but for me … that’s some of the best Star Wars sometimes. Anyway, here’s the list! Hope you enjoy!

Dark Device of the Great Chasm (web serial / work in progress )

A chance discovery of an old journal propels Windtracer Tela Kioni into an expedition to the depths of the Great Chasm on the far end of the Planus continent to recover a lost, and possibly lethal, relic of the Ancient Order.

It’s a race against time and the bloodthirsty Crimson Company mercenary guild to reach the relic first. Along the way, Tela will have to deal with the terrors, and her own nightmares, of the Great Chasm and the mysterious backer of the Crimson Company, a man who seeks to rebuild the Ancient Order, no matter the deadly cost.

Null Force: Battle in the Halls of Darkness (short/Star Wars AU/complete)

A mysterious explosion in a remote lab hidden away in the depths of the Tapani Sector starts an investigation into the source that turns into a harrowing rescue in a race against time. Ruk “Rukus” V’dora and Pala’teska are troopers turned scientists working for an organization known only as Null Force.

Null Force, a covert branch of the Beskar Aran mercenary guild investigates discoveries - both historical and modern - on behalf of the Tapani Imperium of the new Galactic Alliance to protect worlds of the greater galaxy.

Ruk and Pala must travel with the search and rescue team to the source of the explosion. What they find will be a challenge for the pair and for the fledgling organization!

Druid’s Helper (worldbuilding / Game design / pathfinder )/ I had so much fun creating this one )

A druid's work is never done, sometimes they need a little help!

Ghost Blade (worldbuilding / game design / Forged in the Dark )

There are countless swords, blades of all kinds, around the world. From cutlass to rapier, katana to dagger or machete, they come in all shapes and sizes. But of all the different types, the ethereal Ghost Blade stands out from the rest.

[yawnzloverz]

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After the storm

A Choi Yeonjun filo ff.

a/n: HAIII so sa mga makakita po nito on their dashboard with zero context, this is a filler to a fic that I am writing. Sunghoon is Y/n's crush in this fic but he is NOT the main love interest in the story. It is Choi Yeonjun. So please PLEASE do not be mislead by this filler 😭😭😭 To my readers out there, reading this is optional. It has no significance to the plot whatsoever since a lot of points made here will also be introduced a little later in the main story, but I recommend reading it too! The next Sunghoon pov wil be in a chapter next time, so stay tuned! Happy reading, lovelies! ^^

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Chapter III - Back at One

Sunghoon's POV

Oct 7, 2023 Saturday, 12:48 pm

Humihikab akong bumaba sa tricycle. It's flattering to have peple stare, pero bait naman ngayon pa, kung kailan parang sabog na sabog ako. Napuyat ako kagabi sa sobrang alala ko kay Y/n-

Makakasama ko siya mamaya, same course nga pala kami! Pero sa dami namin, sino siya dun? I hardly have the time to learn my classmates and their names and faces. Medyo magkahawig din yung iba and magkakaparehas ng apelyido, kaya nakakalito Para sa'kin.

Pero may Sim Y/n akong natatandaan sa listahan. Medyo binilisan ko ang paglalakad papunta sa lecture hall. I held on to the tiniest bit of hope I had that she was ok. Kailangan ko siyang makita. Kailangan kong masigurado na nasa mabuting kalagayan siya.

Pilit akong sumiksik sa mga estudyanteng nagsisipasok. May isa pa nga, tumatakbo habang hindi matanggal ang tingin sa tarpaulin ng mukha ako. Hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ba ako o magui-guilty. Kasalanan ko pa pag nadapa siya. Pero parang pamilyar siya...

I scanned the room as soon as I entered, looking for her. Pero ang dami...Sumuko na ako. Hihintayin ko nalang na mag-attendance. Natulala ako nang tapikin ako sa likod ni Heesung, at Ricky.

"Pre, hungover ka?" Tanong ni Ricky "Epekto lang yan ng sobrang pagja-ARAY!" Malakas na sabi ni Hee kaya nagtinginan ang ibang estudyante. Tinusok ko siya sa tagiliran. "Bastos talaga neto oh" Sabi ko sa kanya. Nagtinginan sila. Medyo nailang ako kasi parang may usapan sila na hindi ako kasali.

"Sige na, sabihin mo na. Sino?" Heesung interrogated .

Ha?

"Sino- Ano- Pinagsasabi mo?" Nauutal kong sagot. Nahahalataan nila kapag may problema ako.

"May bago kang chick pre?" Tanong ni Ricky.

"Hindi, gago" Matalas kong sagot.

Hinantay ko na mag-attendance, pero hindi! Buga lang nang buga ng mga malalalim na salita ang prof namin. May sense namana ng sinasabi niya, at makakatulong din 'to samin lalo na't nalalapit na ang midterms namin, kaya nakinig nalang ako.

Nasa kalahati na kami ng lecture nang mapansin ko sa gilid ng mata ko na may nakatitig sa akin. Sinubukan ko siyang tignan sa peripheral vision ko, pero hindi ko makita nang malinaw ang mukha. Tinignan ko ang nakitingin at-

Siya yung kanina! Yung nakatingin sa tarpaulin ko kanina! Pero...

Teka....

Nilabas ko ang phone ko at pumunta ako sa Instagram. Binuksan ko ang account ni Jake at nag-scroll ako sa account niya.

"Sim Jaehyun and 6 others."

I clicked the '6 others' and scanned the list.

aerichandesu....kaikamal_huening...niki.png...chaewonniee....

There she is.

Y/nsimm._

Siya nga. Siya nga ang nakatitig sa akin.

Gumanti ako ng tingin. Tinitigan ko din siya.

"Awit pre type ka" Bulong ni Heesung. Pinili ko nalang na hindi siya pansinin.

She's a lot cuter than I expected. Ang pinaka-memory ko lang kasi sa kanya, yung nangungulangot siya sa 5th birthday party niya.

She looks like she's hinting na gusto niya akong kausapin. Or maybe she's drifting off in a daydream? Anyways, I should go up to say hi, or ask her out for coffee....for old time's sake.

Balita ko, kakaahon niya lang sa matinding break up. Maybe this can help her relax a bit.

But what if she takes this the wrong way? 

I snap back to reality nang bigla niyang iitsa ang ulo niya sa kabila. So the staring was unintentional?

I feel Heesung's arm nudging my side. He points at her direction.

"Kakilala mo ba yan tol?" Tanong ni Heesung.

"Oo, kababata ko 'yan eh. Hindi na nga lang kami nag-uusap."

"Bakit?" Tanong ni Ricky.

"...Family problems lang..."

Tumango nalang ang dalawa at hindi na nagtanong. They must've noticed how uncomfortable I am.

Nang mag-ring ang bell, mabilis siyang tumayo pero hindi siya agad lumabas. Hindi rin naman siya makakalabas, lalo na't nag-stampede sa may pintuan. Lumakad ako papunta sa kanya, babatiin ko sana siya, kaso nakita niya ako at tinititigan niya akong maglakad. Hindi ba nanunuyot mata nitong babaeng 'to? Nang medyo palapit na ako, umiwas siya bigla ng tingin. Natatakot ba siya sa'kin?

"Miss Sim?" Mabilisan kong tanong. Dahan dahan niya akong nilingon. This is the first time I see her adorable facial features up close again in twelve years. I felt a sense of longing, or that's one way to put it.

I missed her.

"Sim Y/n right? Do you have something you want to tell me?" Nagtanong na rin ako, just in case. Kaso parang umakward lalo, mukha akong assumero.

"Ahh, wala naman" She said it a little slowly na medyo nauutal. Halatang halata sa mukha niya na kabado siya. Parang sanggol na kinikilala yung mga nasa paligid nila. What if, hindi niya na talaga ako maalala? And I'm just another creep who goes up to say hi to her? But one thing I know, her guard is up. I badly want to compliment her, to tell her na "Ako 'to, si kuya Sunghoon mo."....Just so that we can relive the bond we once had as kids.

But for now......

Tumango ako.

"Oh, kapatid ka ni Jake, right? Who would have thought na magiging ganito pala kaganda ang kapatid ni Jake. Buti 'di ka nagmana sa kuya mo. haha." I tried to make her aware na close kami ni Jake, while dropping compliments too.

And she smiled.

I don't know if it's the nostalgia, or the satisfaction of succesfully making her smile, but my heart melted at the sight.

"Ako nga pala si Sunghoon, nice to meet you." After twelve years....

She shaked my hand and the warm feeling came rushing back. I just want to hug her, while we both cry. Pretending that we are still in the treehouse where we once played 'family'.

"Sim Y/n, nice to meet you rin." Her voice was soothing. It made me feel safe.

"Hey um, if you want, we can go for coffee, maybe? Or take a snack?" I ask.

"Sure! I'd love to!" I smile at her enthusiasm.

We hung out at the nearby coffee shop while chatting. We talked about each other. Or rather, she talked and I listened. Hearing her voice, all matured and now speaking with more intelligence after 12 years....it made a part of me sink.

"Naaalala mo pa ba ako? Yung totoo." Tanong ko.

She was a bit taken aback by the question, but she soon answered.

"Siyempre naman, never kitang nakalimutan. Not even once." sabi niya habang nakangiti.

Hindi ko naitago ang ngiti ko. So she does remember me. I took a big sip of the ot coffee to atleast prevent the tears welling up at my tearducts.

Time flew fast, hindi namin namalayan na magaala-sais na pala. Ihahatid ko sana siya kaso may dadaanan pa daw kasi siya after.

I bid her goodbye and watched the tricycle drive off until I couldn't see her anymore.

Atleast ngayon alam ko na...na she still remembers me. 'Yan ang mahalaga para sa'kin.

.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚˚｡⋆.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚˚｡⋆.⋆｡⋆☂.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚˚｡⋆.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.⋆｡⋆ HAYSTSTSTTS NADELAY NANG NADELAY JUSQ 😭 😭 😭 😭  MASAMA KASI TALAGA PAKIRAMDAM KO HUHUBELS Saka hindi ko pa tapos yung chapter 3, ifafinalize ko muna bago ako magpost ng sneak peek. Sa mga nakaabang sa tiktok acc ko, hindi po ako makapagpost ng maayos na slideshow 😭 😭 😭 Pero parehas lang naman po yung nakapost dito at nakapost doon. As always, comments are open for opinions ^^ I hope you guys like this short filler and please comment if I should do more stuff like this in the future! Thank you lovlies! 💞

-val 🧸

[louisupdates]

Louis Tomlinson shares new track ‘Out Of My System’ and 2023 UK and European tour dates

The former One Direction singer's second solo album, 'Faith In The Future', will land next month

By Will Richards | 14th October 2022

Louis Tomlinson has shared a new track called ‘Out Of My System’ and announced a 2023 UK and European tour – listen to the track below and buy tickets for the tour here.

‘Out Of My System’ is the latest preview of the singer’s second solo album ‘Faith In The Future’, which follows his debut full-length effort, 2020’s ‘Walls’, and will be released on November 11. You can pre-order/pre-save the record here.

READ MORE: Louis Tomlinson on finding his artistic identity: “It’ll be an ever-evolving process”

Tomlinson’s forthcoming album was produced by Mike Crossey, who’s previously worked with the likes of Arctic Monkeys, The 1975 and Wolf Alice. The singer co-wrote the LP alongside The Music frontman Rob Harvey and the songwriting/production team Red Triangle.

Other contributors on ‘Faith In The Future’ include Dan Grech (The Killers, The Vaccines, Halsey), Nico Rebscher (Alice Merton), Joe Cross (Courteeners), and Hurts frontman Theo Hutchcraft.

Listen to ‘Out Of My System’ below.

Following the album’s release, Tomlinson will head out on a massive UK and European arena tour in 2023, running from August to November and including a show at London’s The O2.

A pre-sale for tickets from 9am BST on Wednesday (October 19) is available for those who pre-order ‘Faith In The Future’ here, with a general sale following from 9am BST on October 21. Get your Louis Tomlinson tickets here and see a full list of dates below.

AUGUST 2023 29 – Hamburg, Barclays Arena 31 – Copehagen, Royal Arena

SEPTEMBER 2023 1 – Oslo, Spektrum 2 – Stockholm, Hovet 4 – Helsinki, Ice Hall 5 – Talinn, Saku Arena 7 – Riga, Arena 8 – Kaunas, Zalgiris Arena 10 – Krakow, Tauron Arena 11 – Lodz, Atlas Arena 13 – Vienna, Wiener Stadthalle 14 – Ljubjana, Stozice Arena 15 – Budapest, Arena 17 – Bucharest, Arenele Romane 18 – Sofia, Arena Armeec 20 – Athens, Petra Theatre

OCTOBER 2023 1 – Bilbao, Arena Miribilla 3 – Lisbon, Altice Arena 5 – Madrid, Wizink Center 6 – Barcelona, Palau Sant Jordi 8 – Torino, Pala Alpitour 9 – Bologna, Unipol Arena 11 – Esch Sur Alzette, Rockhal 12 – Antwerp, Sportpalais 14 – Paris, Accor Arena 17 – Cologne, Lanxess Arena 19 – Berlin, Mercedes-Benz Arena 20 – Berlin, Mercedes-Benz Arena 22 – Munich, Olympiahalle 23 – Zurich, Hallenstadion

NOVEMBER 2023 8 – Dublin, 3Arena 10 – Sheffield, Utilita Arena 11 – Manchester, AO Arena 12 – Glasgow, OVO Hydro 14 – Brighton, Centre 15 – Cardiff, International Arena 17 – London, The O2 18 – Birmingham Resorts World Arena

Speaking to NME backstage at his own Away From Home festival last month, Tomlinson said ‘Faith In The Future’ was inspired by DMAs ‘The Glow’.

“With my first record, I think I’d been a bit close-minded in the sounds that I wanted to produce. There’s a lot of interesting, dance-y elements that they brought into that record with [famed producer] Stuart Price and it just showed me that you can bring in these trendier sounds, but do them in a really authentic way.”

[shenashygans]

THE SUNDAY CURRENTLY -60-

sunday pa dito sa UAE!!! medyo busy kami this week pero eto na me at ung jowa ko hinahanap na ang TSC ko hahaha so here's another TSC from yours truly~

CURRENTLY

Reading

Hidden Pictures - Jason Rekulak padin hahaha akala ko talaga maiaangat niya ako sa reading slump ko. di ko na natuloy ung kwento ko sa jowa ko haha

Writing

TSC 60! medyo clutch. kasi ung jowa ko binuksan na agad un tumblr ko at wala daw akong post haha laging excited sa mga post ko :)

Listening

to the chismis dito sa bahay. andito kami lahat sa sala at nag-iinom. lahat nagkkwentuhan. nakakatuwa lang 😌

Thinking

of what we will do for our surprise baby shower! we need sponsors!! we have cake na, venue, host(???), kumpleto nadin ang guest list. so food nalang hahaha thinking of fun activities din! ang saya lang na ang daming blessings na paparating. tapos ang saya kasi magiging ninang kami ng loml ko? it's like, we're building a family together huhu nakakatuwa. thinking of what gifts shall we give to the lil ones üwü

Smelling

lomi and nilagang babi hehehe nakakagutom :))

Wishing

for a safe delivery for my friends 🥹 I'm excited to see the little ones soon. but i wish they have a safe delivery and always be healthy :)

Watching

youtube karaoke hahaha

Hoping

for better days ahead. hoping that my partner get the job she really wants. hoping to take our stress away. hoping for more staycations with the loml. hoping for a real vacation (cruise pls) hoping everything falls into place soon. hoping we could back to dentist soon. hoping we get to relax for a bit longer, too. - eto padin talaga eh. gusto ko nadin nga idagdag din ung safe delivery ng friends hihi

Wearing

pambahaaaay. inom nanaman eh :))

Wanting

to rest moooore. parang kulang ang tulog na'min this weekend eh hahaha wanting colder weather din. parang awa. ang init padin hahahahuhu

Needing

a new tattoo or piercing. a need na siya? lol. want & need kasi siya hahaha need to save din pala kasi ang daming gastos sa -ber months :))

Loving

our bonding moments! ang saya lang kasi parang weekly nagkikit kami ng friends ni majo. kahapon nag-dampa kami at nag-club seven (bar) haha lumipat pa kami sa 2nd bar pero umuwi na ung malalayo ang uwian :)) next Sunday naman, mag-IMG world kami (theme park) at excited ns me. first time ko punta dun hehehe. i love how the jowa always kiss me in public whenever she gets the chance. may it be on the cheeks, mostly on my forehead, sometimes on my shoulder. i love it when she holds my hand, too when we're too far apart.. especially, when we're too far apart. i love how we dance together in the middle of the dancefloor, or just on the side. i love everything we do together. i love every versions of us together 💜

Feeling

HOT! super init padin dito sa UAE. parang awa. tagal lumamig :((((

Manifesting

STABLE JOBS (FOR US). FINANCIAL ABUNDANCE. GOOD HEALTH (FOR FAMILY & FRIENDS). HAPPY LOVE & SEX LIFE ✨ (uulit-ulitin ko ‘to) HAPPY MARRIED LIFE 💜 NEW CAR/HOME FOR US ✨

-- hello, September! Merry Christmas 🎄

[solidbucketchickenoffriends]

Work from Home (sucks?)

NP: Turn it off - Paramore

Hehe so today, morning palang tinatamad na ako everytime kasi nagiging toxic yun TL namin, nakakawalang gana magwork, as in. Syempre tao lang din naman ako naiisip ko magresign pero syempre laban padin, may mga rason naman kung bakit nagiistay. Pangarap ko kasi talaga magpursue ng business like coffee shop or clothing, yung nakakataba ng puso at nakakasarap gumising sa umaga kasi nasa porte ka ng gusto mo. Tapos ganon super stress ako, wala ako makausap. May worship night nga sa Victory pero di padin talaga ako nakakaattend kasi meron something sakin talaga na di ko maintindihan. Namimiss ko yun buhay na meron ako dati kung paano ako sinimulan ibless ni Lord, tandang-tanda ko non bigla nalang ako binigyan ng wfh set-up na work, tapos after ilang months may mga struggles like nahack yun Axie ko tapos yun pala ang next journey ko non mapursue yun clothing business tapos nagwowork padin ako at the same time. Kumbaga nakakastress pero nandun yung fulfilment, kasi nga yun talaga yung gusto ko. Tapos nung pagsampa naman ni papa naexperience namin magbukod, NAPAKASARAP na feeling sa lahat kasi even yun interior sa loob yun ambiance na gusto ko, yun na yun talaga kahit maliit siya pero importante kasi sakin yun maranasan ko yun peace of mind.

Tuloy lang ang laban, WORK, BUSINESS, LIVE SA GABI, SA UMAGA SASABAYAN PA NG MGA HOUSE WORKS.. Haha grabe yon mag-isa lang ako nakakapagod kung iisipin pero ang sarap balikan, kasi tuwing sa gabi non kapag okay naman at settle sa mga bills or pagkain manunuod ako netflix sa gabi. Napakasimple lang pero talagang pinangarap ko kasama si Dax non that time kasi nakakapagod din talaga. Yun bang pakiramdam mo binibigay sayo lahat tapos katuwang naman sa buhay yun hinahanap mo.

Anyways, so burn out ako kanina. Alam mo yun feeling na puro ka trabaho tapos di mo alam kung ano yung gusto mo para maibsan yun stress. Alam ko sa sarili ko na may mga bucket of list ako eh, pero kasi lagi ako worried sa mga bills namin pero alam mo narealize ko need mo rin pala magtira para sa sarili mo para ma REFRESH din..

Kaya tinuloy ko pumunta sa Leobel's kasi talaga ang ganda nung ambiance tas nakakarelax, may mga pakiramdam pala talaga na hahanapin mo siya para maexperience mo. Nakakatuwa kasi dati nung nagwork ako sa Temple Coffee kala ko masarap sa pakiramdam yun pala nakakaumay din kasi nagkakaron ako mabigyan ng difference yun wfh to barista.. Mahirap pala kasi nilevel up ni Lord yun estado mo para at the same time maging nanay ka sa anak mo at convenience to fulfill the responsibility as a housewife. Kaya nagstruggle din ako non sa time at yun pagod even salary. Ngayon nandun ako ulit sa phase na nakakaburn out yun trabaho pero talagang gagawa at gagawa ng way si Lord para makapagpatuloy and still siya padin yung nagpo-provide samin lalo ngayon di ako makapagdevo or bible reading, ang hirap magback on track pero may mga time na nagkakaron ako ng discernment, mayroon lang din talaga ako kasama dito na nagiging reason para di ako makatuloy. Pero anyway, ayun kanina ang sarap pala sa feeling lalo ako nagkakaron tuloy ng drive magpatuloy at MANGARAP.. Gusto ko kasi talaga magtravel at magunwind siguro yun talaga hinahanap ko sa ngayon pero kasi lagi nakakastress work namin tas si Zoe wala maiiwan pero thankful naman ako kasi nandito si Dax. Yun lang naman lagi ko kasi naiisip yun pang gastos namin sa bahay, pero pwede naman yun diba no kasi alam mo yun nagwowork ako para sa family namin pero hinahanap ko lang talaga yun self-satisfaction???? Hehe tapos yun nagconnect nga lang pala ako interview dun kanina tas akala ko ako nalang yun nandun haha kaya umalis nako tas naglakad ako papuntang mini forest. Talagang need siya eh to release yung stress, alam mo ba iniisip ko kanina parang nasa baguio ako kasi gusto ko talaga magbaguio. Hirap kasi talaga magtravel lalo kapag wala sa plan at budget din, pero ayun muni muni lang ako tas naglakad pauwi, okay na sakin yun ganon talagang prefer ko mag-isa pala talaga ganon ako ka-introvert, yun di mo masyado need ng makakasama o makakausap para lang maging okay. Dati nga lagi ako nagtatawag pa ng kaibigan pero sa ngayon siguro kapag mag isa ako mas nagegets ko yun sarili ko.. Came to realize na tumatanda na talaga ako pero di nako nakakaramdam ng self-pity unlike dati na sobrang down na down ako ganon parang useless pero ngayon naiisip ko challenge nalang yan na need lagpasan kasi nga diba di pa ba ako sanay sa mga kasama ko sa trabaho ilang rants at iyak naba nagawa ko dati, ngayon yung mga kasama kong bago syempre nandun pa sila sa stage na unti-unti nasasanay nadin sila hehe

Tapos nung pauwi nako, need ko din talaga yun maglakad para makita ko yung iba na street vendor, kahapon nga alam mo naaawa ako dito sa katabi namin unit sa apartment dito kasi sila yun nagtitinda dun sa kanto ng barasoain school tapos nung susunduin ko si Dax nung nakita ko yun payat na lalaki na bagong stay diyan sa kabila, ganon pala talaga buhay nila no nakaasa sila sa kayod at kikitain nila sa araw tapos minsan pa sa gabi maririnig ko pagbibilang nila ng barya, nakakatuwa kasi isipin na hindi namin need yun gawin para lang mabuhay. Meron nilaan si Lord na mahirap at nakakastress pero meron lagi sumasagi sa isip ko din na bakit palaging yun nakatira dito sa Unit 4 mas mababa ang estado at ipakita kung gano kami kaswerte sa buhay, dati sila kuya kano dito naabutan ko pa ng ulam tapos ngayon pagkabalik ko sa work ko bigla ako nagsungit at nagdamot, ngayon ito nanaman yun pakiramdam na to parang may kirot sakin nung nakita ko talaga si kuyang payat na nagbabantay dun sa may school, may mga pagkakataon pa nga na habang nagwowork ako kukunin nila dito yung chinacharge na solar tapos wala ako kibo ngiti lang. Alam mo Lord, tulungan mo po ako kasi alam ko may rason ka kung bakit dito mo kami nilagay. Sorry po talaga kasi di ako nakakattend na nakikiconnect ulit sayo.

Salamat po talaga sa lahat ng biyaya, dumating sana yun araw na malaman ko yung purpose ko di lang sa trabaho kundi sa mga taong nakapaligid sa akin Lord.......

[lucymarion]

i love you and i (wont) wait

i went swimming with my friends kagabi at like 7pm to 4am. it was nice, tubigan was... small. i have this perception ng tubigan na malaki kasi the last time I was there i was still small. pagbalik ko kahapon i was shocked na maliit lang pala hahahaha

the real reason im writing this is because of sherlock. i think im suffering from another friendship break up. i think we're outgrowing each other. and it sucks so bad kasi i go through my fyp on tiktok and i see his reposts and it reminds me of the sherlock i loved. his humor was still there and all the things i adored pero it's like getting overshadowed by something else i cant digest. and i feel so bad right now because i just took him off of my close friends list.

turns out i was lying here

i arrived sa tubigan ng mga 6pm to reserve a cottage tapos by 7pm nasa loob na ko. i was messaging all of them to come na and I was patiently waiting tapos he messaged sa gc na he was going to be late. ok lang hanggang 4am naman kami dun. come 7:30 apat na kami dun meron paring 5 expected guests na kulang. ok sure. dumating na yung tatlo. i messaged sa gc na if susunod kayo then diretso nalang sa cottage edi swimming na kami. after ilang minutes balik kami cottage to check if papunta na sila. no replies. i messaged yung isang guest if pupunta mo ba sila ni sherlock he said hindi daw siya tutuloy, inupdate niya din daw si sherlock abt that. i was pissed kasi ???? 1) bakit hindi manlang naginform si sherlock about dun 2) the fee for the cottage was split for 9 people. pero ok lang kasi like this person so i wished him well nalang. moments later sherlock informed the gc that he was drunk and he wouldn't be joining anytime soon. it was weird as fuck dahil una he literally said sa gc na he cancelled plans for this swimming and pangalawa kumpleto kami. pero ok sige. i really dont want to ruin my vibe kasi i was really having a great time so sige. until mga madaling araw we were talking na sa may gilid ng pool and we were discussing shit about sherlock and it turns most of us felt weird na about him about how he changed and about how he treats and views his friends. i really felt sick to my stomach and my throat was closing up kasi winsiwjjsjsn this wasnt the friend i had in dati??? hindi ito yung kausap ko sa gmeet years ago????? hindi din to yung naging kaibigan ko nung grade 7.

grabe how time can drastically change a person. i dont even know that person anymore. i looked through his socmed accounts and i was shocked to realized na nothing's really connecting us anymore. i could just sever everything now. unfriend him soft block him on ig and twitter. take him off my dumps and my close friend lists. i could block him on tiktok. i could restrict him on Facebook and messenger and never contact him again. i could pick the galas i would participate to and never see him again. i could do it. it wouldn't matter anymore kasi we're not friends anymore. i dont want to be friends with him anymore.

anybody could be reading this and think ay nalate lang sa gala f.o. na GIRL hindi this has been accumulating for months na and this is probably my last straw. ayoko na umasa na maybe in this gala i would see the friend i know again. na maybe if i talk more sa gc the boy i loved in the gmeets the gc did in 2021 would resurface. na maybe he'd add me on that fucking frens highlight sa ig niya which was a huge blow to me btw kasi i was there dati pero ngayon for no reason wala na ako (just checked while typing this wala talaga ako ANYWHERE.) waiting is futile. hes not here anymore

rest in peace to us bj (he doesnt even want to be called like this anymore LOLOLOLOLOL) 2017-2024

it was nice to be ur friend. i love you forever

[benefits1986]

Anhedonia Anonymous

After addiction and adrenaline, will losing anhedonia be in my 2024 reliving win?

Several times the past months, I've been asked straight up and subtly about my head space as well as my darkest thought --unliving. Honestly, while I deflect them as I dress to the nines, this time around my unlikely friend Matthew is with me in spirit. It's not easy to be asked questions I do not want to answer, however, sabi nga ni Dumbledore, ask for help. Always. It's not easy to ask for help especially when I've been fighting a good fight as an undetected lone wolf who is learning more and more about addiction and adrenaline. Pleasure and pain are the same in my book. Pleasure and pain have the same high for me. Pleasure and pain have the same crash after the high for me. Winning and losing are the same for me, too. Validation and invalidation do not matter to me.

UGH. Ang aga-aga, girl. Eto ka na naman.

This Q4 2023, I find myself cornered with my back against the cold, hard wall in as far as CTRL + ALT + DEL feelings of pain and pleasure are concerned. I really didn't expect this to come like a hard punch in my ego and my hidden dark heart, because anhedonia is my cup of matcha and my goblet of sangria.

While laughing out loud makes my tummy and core gassy, I now indulge in it like deep, dark chocolate that I rarely come across with. While crying is nowhere near my to-do list because I feel like I'm being overexposed, I am left with no choice but to give it a go. Kahit sobrang pigil talaga, wala e. Sagad levels is realzzz.

It's not easy to name anhedonia, after 11 years of asking question as I try to answer questions, too; here we are in this very flawed, and very real world.

Yesterday was very, very, very curious. We had a session that involves revealing our talents based on a well-grounded study and theory. Though tanong ko pa rin: who is behind the father of this test? Anong trauma niya? Anong biases niya? Anong intent niya why and why not? LOL. Kabog ang zodiac, Enneagram, MBTI at iba pang personality quizzes. SIDE NOTE: I was perplexed. I was looking at the results back in summer and curious what's next? Anong areas for improvement para derecho lang. LOL. Turns out, focus sa talents instead of tweaking the demerits and detentions. :D Triggered ng nanay kong gusto perfect lahat 'to, pero ready na tayo sa mature roles.

I was actually about to back out and flake fashionably. LOLOLLOLLOLL. Sabi ko nga sa driver ko, balik na lang kami sa bahay kasi ayoko talaga ng ganito.

Ad hoc, game. Mabigatang meetings na malala, game. Walang habas na revisions, game. He laughed and told me that puwede namang umuwi kaso not so traffic punta BGC and sayang din bayad ko. Hindi raw sulit. LOLOLOLLOLL.

I kept my walls up even when I know I'm up to speed in terms of recovering and learning more about my reclaimed area. :D I am truly wondering why this session had to happen right now, however, I guess, it's bound to happen, anyway. Holiday break is coming and 2024 is peeping more and more.

Ginusto ko ng slow growth season that I can't unsee. Eto o. INAMO. Salagin mo ngayon 'yan kung kaya mo. Hahahahahahahaha. That's how I actually felt as I was in this session.

Actually, when I was tasked to answer this test, ayoko talaga. As in. UGH. Pero sige, compliance. Okayyyyy. When I saw the results, DAMN. Hahahahahaha. CTRL + ALT + DEL after I read them. Hassle kasi ng mga tanong. Simple but sapul. :( Walang kawala levels 10000000000000 to the nth power. UGH.

I thought the seating arrangement was random but very curious. Me: Yas. Seatmate ko and session buddy don't vibe. By don't vibe meaning, casual hi and hello lang kami for the longest time. LOL. Turns out, we aligned about our past projects, our first encounter back in team building, our current tasks and syempre, the life outside work and 2024 goals. LOL. Alam ko madaldal siya 'pag lasing pero, the convo we had is really one for the books. We actually vibe pala and madaldal pala siya kahit hindi lasing. As I told that person: Oh, so you're the OG unbothered pala after all. Not bad. Not bad at all. We're aligned pala through it all. Hindi mo man lang sinabi and I didn't bother to bother you because, I don't want to. LOLOLOLLL.

Later that day, as I was feeling the crash of the session, an earthquake came. Chill lang at first, but, damn. When I heard the alarms go off, I froze. I was caught in between sneaking to hide somewhere in the office. Hahahahahaha. Eto na ba ang the Big One? Ready na ako. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA.

I actually took all the time in the world to pack my things because I have a luggage. I asked my officemates to stay together and sabi ko susunod ako. LOL. Una na sila. Girl, saltik levels 100000000 na naman. I looked around and decided to go all the way down the flight of endless stairs.

As I was going down the stairs, a kind stranger intruded my space. Literal na kinuha lang niya respectfully 'yung luggage ko. I told him I was totally fine. He said, he's got it. HAHAHAHAHHA. Sobrang kawawa ba talaga ng itchura ko that time? LELS. Mukha pa naman siyang boss ng legit brand sa ibang floor. Nastress ako to be honest, pero wala e. I looked closely kung kaya ba nga niya, pero seems like kaya nga niya. Ako hindi. Hahahahahahaha. I noticed that he is following my slowwwww pace kasi the alarms and lights are overstimulating me. UGH.

Fucking tall buildings talaga. FUCK. SIDE NOTE: Tall buildings like office buildings and condos are never in my book. :D Reason is because it's not sustainable even when it's the best thing the market has to offer. I know things because I used to co-design content for a popular condo living brand. :D We slayed it then and market share-wise, we do way better than the feeling market leaders. LOL. It's not meant for children, people with short legs, pregnant women, disabled, injured, aged and pets like Vici, Vidi and KD.

He waited for me to reach the exit and I thanked him and asked for his name. He smiled and said: NO NEED. IT'S OKAY. I shook his hand and thanked him. May bow pa kasi kahihiyan levels 10000000. I squinted at his ID pero it's fucking blurry though I saw his company name naman.

Thank you, stranger. May the universe bless you to the fullest. Sorry talaga sobrang bigat ng luggage kong kaya ng 20kg. Hahahahaha. Mag-train na nga ulit ako ng core ko para mas handa tayo sa mga sakuna, literally and figuratively.

I asked my ever reliable driver to pick me up because for sure, booking a Grab is a fucking shit show in this parasite in Manila. LOL. He told me that it would take him less than an hour to arrive. Later, he told me that traffic is crazier and that he might arrive way off the original ETA.

I asked my office buddy if we can vape and get 1 bott. Sumama naman my other officemates. LOL. Actually, kahit 'di pa sila sumama, I'd hole up and vape and drink because this day is fucked up to the nines. I just need to sedate myself a bit. Overstimulated po tayo AF so, eto na. Our officemate treated us and had a good round of convos. Buti, super small group kami kasi ayoko talaga ng big groups. Parang lang.

I got home past 9 and dad greeted me. LUH. Hahahaha. Dapat iinom ako ulit e kaso dad does not like seeing me down drinks. Okay lang sa kanya 'pag 'di ako nakikitang umiinom, to be honest. He asked me if he can bring me to the office and wait for me to go home. AYOKO. Hahahahahahahaha. Bigyan ko raw siya ng chance. AYOKO NGA KASI. Sama pa raw siya sa holiday party. LOL. Sabi ko, all nighter 'yun so 'wag na rin. LOLOLLOLL. Can't wait for the long weekend. Will down important stuff. Try to bike and spend more time with zee doggo babes. Ako naman. Also, dapat na magpa-knee rehab doc compliance visits tatay ko. Kung 'di pitpitin ko ng pinong-pino bikes niya. LOL.

[intolerancecare]

Violence

If they'll see my blog are they going to bring me to rehab again?

Newton sent me there? If I curse at them, it's because they terminated me with no apparent reason. No reason at all

A nurse who endorses to doctors?

Because of restless injured employees?

Fuck you all!!!!!!!

I am fully aware of my anger.

Too much aware...

I am not MONATUS!!!!!! I have more experience and knowledge compared to a bagger who knows nothing but lowly staff rumours.

Did you see how I wanted to finish you in my head? It was for your own good. I'm sorry... I failed.

You heard me howl like a crazy dog inside that effing rehab? EFFING REHAB!!!!!! Should I laugh and party in that place?

Newton I come to work almost 2 hours early. Your other staff eats at the small pantry. I stay at my table and read the latest trending book. That is me. Always updated with the bestselling and trending book.

I stop exactly on time. I check my files. Sorry for the inaccuracy of blank items. It is always corrected before making a discrepancy right? That's the only mistake that I had. You want me to list down my tasks in that office? The HR staff title. YOU OWE ME.

The nurse will say, I did inventory, first aid, monitoring, COVID test, didn't have time with the planning, referrals. That's the nurse. My ate just watch movies in their clinic. The HR Staff did more than half of the nursing task. My GOD what kind of nurse will let themselves be ask by an HR manager to photocopy their employees' evaluation form. To think that she has a staff who likes to linger at the FB of applicants? As if he's recruiting a dozen of applicants a day. He can't even organize his files. I organize their files. The liaison officer who was added to the team can't even encode request at SAP. I process all their request at SAP. I owe you? for what? For the likes of Veronica's company? For Alshaya?

Fuck you. 6 accounting staff? 3 payrolls? and me this much responsibility?!!! because they can do the nurses' staff? Terminate me? I'll never come 5 feet close to anyone aside from my officemates. Another doctor at Makati Med who looks like lee and laughs like a crazy actor like arjun. Oh there is another Angel looking guy like lee in VXI. Whenever they are around, I'll be terminated? You are paying my siblings? made their pockets full because they brought me to rehab?

So PLV is also terminating me because of that effing erickson. That crazy erickson who whisper songs to me like arjun? Are they all undergrad? unlicensed? They are me because I let my friends copy my answer in exams? or because I answered my fiends exam because I was exempted and expected to get a flat 1? i already got my Karma. I got 1.5.

Putang ina pinapogi nyo lang pala si arjun.

Fuck you all. Terminate me because of them?

MY uterus they are destroying? In replacement of not locking into rehab?

Fuck you!!!!!!!!

[circleslep]

I dreamt that me and my partner went to Woodford Queensland and bought some Minecraft merch in a circular mall (?? I don't think Woodford has these). There we met one of their friends from Germany who was studying abroad in Melbourne. Taking her to the food court in the building, we talked to her about the differences between Australia and Germany and I mentioned how Singapore is just one big city ("like Melbourne"). We talked about how during the lockdowns, Woodford closed itself entirely to the public and lost all its business, and so was trying to rebuild its businesses.

Below the display of one of the dessert shops there, there was a whiteboard that we were given permission to draw on, so after scribbling a few things (like a calendar?) on it, I decided to draw my OC Pala.

A memory came up in my mind as I drew her: that Pala was actually a lesser-known character from Pokemon SV, whom I had taken and then developed into a full OC so different from the source material she may as well have been my own character, and made a whole unfinished webcomic about her and everything.

I referred to her as "Para" and Bulbapedia did list her as "Para" in the Japanese version. In the French version ner name was Noëlle and she was involved in a questline with another character named Miriam (Myriam in the French version). There was a German version of her name as well, but I only remember Miriam's started with H (Heiðrun?).

In the game, Pala/Para was living alone on a peninsula girt by desert, and I think rode camels and such. She was known as the loneliest character? and supposedly her gimmick was that her Pokemon all had very low HP but very high defence. Her skin was also much lighter than my depiction.

I began to read out the story of Pala's questlines, the first one involved a lost camel. I woke up partially and my brain told me - if I wanted to continue with that dream, I could go back to sleep and do so. But I decided I wanted to write that dream down, so I woke up.

[mainanxiety]

The first month of the year is about to end, last december I was contemplating what I should put on my resolution list for this year, and guess what I haven't thought of anything, so sabi ko wag na lang kasi para saan ba yung new year resolution if hindi naman nagagawa, like yes 1st week? 1st month? you are determined then afterwards what?, Wala na, you gonna get lost in track again it always happens so many times and every year so wag na lang for this year, but now I am thinking about it kailangan pala may baguhin or goal ako kasi ano mas lost kasi ako, like wala na nga ako goal sa buhay ehh wala pa din ba for this year like ano ba yan di ba? And also rather than physical I want to focus more on my emotional attributes, I want to change how I view life and how to handle things emotionally.

First "To have a sense of accomplishment" I don't appreciate small wins or big wins, I don't have those feelings of accomplishment, it's more like a feeling of relief na na may natapos ako, may nagawa ako kahit papano and instead of celebrating it, mas na anxious lang ako you know the feeling of I need to do more, I need to do something, ang pressuring din na wala kang long term goal sa buhay kahit yung simple lang, hindi ko makita yung sarili ko in the future kaya siguro hindi ko ma appreciate yung mga accomplishment ko sa buhay, but ofc I should appreciate more na.

Second "Savoring the moment" I realized na I don't really appreciate life nor do I live? I'm always anxious about what I should do next, what should I do in the future instead of making happy memories, I mean I do and create happy memories but... You know I tend to overthink na baka after this may mangyari, ganto at ganyan, I'am barely living at the moment because of fear and anxiety, and sometimes feeling ko di ko deserve maging masaya and I feel like I manifest negative aura and I don't want than anymore. I want more to appreciate the moment even if it's just for a day or an hour.

Third "Stop guilt tripping myself for the things I buy or I do for myself" as eldest anak on our household, I have this mindset na pag may binili ako for myself I need to give something to my parents too, kasi nakaka guilty na gumgastos ako para sa sarili ko, tas sa kanila wala, feeling ko di ko sila iniisip, feeling ko ang damot ko, ganun. I feel like I'm too considerate to them to the point na yung sarili ko napapabayaan ko at giniguilt trip ko, ayokong maging madamot pero I want to be generous to myself too, I want to prioritize myself, to buy and take care of myself without guilt tripping my self.

And lastly, to be happy?, to always choose happiness? Honestly ito dapat yung nasa list ko, kaso I read this line from the au I read today na 'you are not you when you are angry' then I realize it is the same thing with 'you are not you when you are happy' kaya nga sabi nila wag magbitaw ng promise pag masyado masaya nor wag magbitaw ng salita pag galit kasi you may say things na you didn't mean at the end, cause on the status nakakain tayo mg emosyon na we didn't even realize what words are coming through our mouth, we are humans and we need to feel emotions kaya rather than being happy I want to "weights my emotion". Cry and be sad when I need to, get frustrated and angry when I have to, feel disgust when I want to and laugh and be happy when I feel too, but you know in a moderate way (? ayy ano to alak) pero you know what I mean I need to release my emotions because for the past year of my life I know I've been suppressing it and bottling it up. I feel like fear and sadness eating me that I haven't felt any emotions other than that, that's why I need to explore emotion as it is without pretending to be okay or what so ever.

I have a lot on my list but this is my top thing to do. I hope it changes, I mean scratch that It will change !

1.22.2023

[uhzuku]

𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩.

guide.

users are rated light, dark, or a mix - mix means there’s a bit of both in my personal opinion. fandoms listed beside username are the fandoms i read from these authors specifically, but the author is not limited to just those fandoms. currently (as of june 11, 2020) there are only anime authors on this list. this list can and will change at any given time.

important note.

be completely respectful to the people behind these blogs - this means following their rules, paying attention to their request statuses, and being polite when commenting or reblogging their work. hate of any kind is not allowed and if it gets back to me that a follower of mine has harassed any of these writers for whatever reason, that user will be blocked and reported.

light.

✘ @cafedanslanuit • bnha, hq, snk/aot

✘ @ererokii • bnha, snk/aot

✘ @shig-a-shig-ah • bnha

✘ @deludedimagines • snk/aot

✘ @duker42 • snk/aot

✘ @xxsmokeyy • snk/aot

✘ @obutsuwrites • bnha

✘ @occasional-writer-12 • snk/aot

✘ @myherowritings • bnha, hq

✘ @todoscript • bnha

✘ @shoutogepi • bnha

✘ @serostuffsmh • bnha

✘ @fantasydaydreamers • bnha

✘ @shoutaaizawas • bnha

✘ @pleasantanathema • bnha, hq, snk/aot

✘ @hawnks • bnha

✘ @warmchoccymilk • bnha

✘ @keigos-dove • bnha

✘ @hawksrut • bnha

✘ @loser-writings • bnha

✘ @alpha-bnha-boys • bnha

✘ @plainbrunettelbl • bnha

✘ @theamberwriter • bnha

✘ @echo-of-sounds • bnha

✘ @birds-have-teeth • bnha

✘ @todosweetheart • bnha

✘ @lovekeigo • bnha

✘ @keiqos • bnha

✘ @lilacte • bnha

✘ @keigosbirdie • bnha

✘ @blossomkoushi + @pinkoushi • hq

dark.

✘ @tomurasprincess • bnha

✘ @libiraki • bnha

✘ @rat-suki • bnha

✘ @lady-bakuhoe • bnha

✘ @hawkschick • bnha, hq

✘ @keilemdarkmode • bnha

✘ @kelnawrites • bnha

mix.

✘ @keilemlucent • bnha

✘ @i-cant-sing • bnha

✘ @writingbakery • bnha, hq

✘ @tainted-wine • bnha

✘ @depraved-empress • bnha, hq

[jibarichan]

To Marcos loyalists/apologists

DISCLAIMER: Mahaba 'tong post, 10-15 mins. read more or less (kung di kasama yung mga articles and links sa baba). And this is politically charged (saka may mga corny jokes, sarcasm, at ilang pilit na pop-culture references). Kung di kayo nandito para sa ganon, then that's alright, naiintindihan ko nang lubos. May choice kayo para lampasan 'to. Feel free to scroll away po. O kaya, skip to the TLDR at the end, although you'll miss some of the points I stated, saka yung mga shared online articles. If you do intend to read, then thank you very much. I'll also accept criticisms. Di tayo ipokrito. And I know, and understand, na magkakaiba ang political views natin. Pero we can disagree na po when it comes to the ethics and morals attached to our political views.

Ako, ayoko rin magmukhang keyboard warrior kasi bihira lang ako magpost, pero eto na nga. Nakakapanlumo lang kasi na marami akong kakilala na bilib sa Marcos apologists and loyalists. This post won't sway hearts and minds, I know. Di ko pati to sinulat in an academic or formal manner (this is very informal, rambly, at puro rhetoric hahaha), but if the following arguments and counter-arguments will make you pause and think, pwede na rin yun.

So let's address some of the common arguments, posts, and comments being thrown around:

"DI NYO NA KAMI MAUUTO" o "FAKE NEWS YANG GMA/ABSCBN/OTHER NEWS OUTLETS"

Sure ba kayo na di rin kayo nauuto o nagpapadala sa sabi-sabi ng Marcos loyalists and apologists? Aba, dapat eh napakasipag nyo din mag fact check at research. Aba, dapat reliable din sources nyo. Certified at official. Kung maduda kayo, then pakiusap, double check nyo rin mga sinasabi nila.  Saka nung nag research ka ba, yung mga articles na pabor lang kay Marcos binasa mo? Articles na pinapaganda pangalan nya? Eh baka naman yun lang gusto mong basahin, kasi gusto mo tama ka (confirmation bias po tawag don). Basahin mo rin yung mga masasamang nangyari nun, para patas. Kasi patas po ang totoong research. Both sides, tinitignan. May cross-referencing at pag double-triple check ng sources; at sources ng sources. Yes ganun kalalim dapat. At oo, because of such principles sa research, alam din namin mga magagandang projects nun. Alam namin yung potensyal ng Pilipinas to rise as an economic tiger sa Asya, at the time. But at what cost? Tambak na utang? Makapal na missing persons lists? Mga nakaw na salapi? Mga sipsip at balimbing na cronies? Pano na? Pride na lang labanan, kahit parang tanga na?

"DI KA PA NAMAN BUHAY NON" o "DI MO NAMAN INABUTAN PANAHON NI MARCOS"

Really? Don't let that be your best reasoning hahahaha. Di ka rin naman buhay nung panahon ng mga Kastila, pero alam natin na binaril si Rizal sa Bagumbayan. Ano, ang pilosopo ko ba? Ikaw rin naman, pag ganyan arguments mo. And what's next? Fake news na rin ang Spanish occupation dati?

"SABI NG LOLO/LOLA KO" o "SABI NG MAGULANG KO"

I'm sure na naging mapayapa buhay nila. Kasi yan din sabi ng mga mas matatanda sakin. Surprise! Hindi naman kasi nila binatikos dalawang dekadang pamumuno na hindi na demokratiko eh. Saka baka yung iba sa kanila, wala sa urban centers, wala sa sentro ng gulo. At kung hindi man sa kanila nangyari yung gulo, it doesn't mean it didn't happen somewhere else. Eh pano yung mga murang bilihin kamo? The gov't that time was well-funded, and the economy was booming on the surface. Dahil sa ano? Sa utang. Towards the end (ibig sabihin po DURING Marcos' term pa rin) nagsimula nang mag crash ang ekonomiya. Na-expose na rin mga kinuha nilang pera.

"HISTORY IS WRITTEN BY THE VICTORS"

Okay, easy sa quotes Lt. General Shepherd (MW2 reference wink wink). Tama na pa-astig natin, okay? Half-truth lang yan. More aptly siguro, history is written DESPITE the victors. Marami pong unbiased saka objective na pagaaral sa usaping yan. Kaya nga alam natin na di rin naman malinis ang mga Aquino. Kaya alam natin na involved din pangalan nila sa massacres. Gusto mo ng sources no? Wow look at you, you fact-checking golden child. Keep it up, dapat ganyan lagi. Sana binasa o tinignan mo rin sources ng apologists. Sana dinobol check mo rin mga sinasabi ng may first hand at second hand accounts. And friends, never magiging victors yung mga biktima ng torture, rape, at extra-judicial killings. Oh, hindi sila biktima kasi nanggugulo sila?-- I hear you say. Dear, yung pagbatikos lang sa gobyerno kinoconsider na nilang panggugulo. Maraming inosenteng nabiktima. And if you think na walang inosenteng nabibiktima-- Are you serious? Naive ka ba?

"PAST IS PAST" o "MOVE ON NA"

Don't use these words lightly. Wala sa iisang playing field ang feelings mo saka feelings ng isang collective. Magkaibang pahina yan. Hindi po parehas ang history ng isang taong broken hearted o na friendship over ang history ng mga biktima ng human rights violations saka political injustice (at marami po sila ah). Wag basta basta magbitaw ng past is past kapag may mga taong di na natagpuan ng pamilya nila, mula noong past, hanggang present. Unfair. Unfair sobra. Para bang okay lang na maraming namatay saka natorture, o kaya naman missing, kasi mayaman naman Pilipinas, maraming infrastructure projects, saka mura bilihin. Bad yun.

"HINDI NAMAN YUNG MISMONG PRESIDENTE ANG GUMAWA" 

Oh so ganyan tayo? No accountability for the head of state? Commander-in-chief of the military? Sino ba nag empower sa mga high ranking officials? Officials, who in turn, nag execute ng directives? Suddenly, nakalimutan ba natin ang chain of command? Or naniniwala ba tayo na covert lahat ng yun, at di alam ng presidente? If so, pano naging magaling yun at effective ang pamumuno? Ganon ba ang best president? Nganga tayo sa ganyan mga kapatid.

"HINDI KASALANAN NG ANAK ANG KASALANAN NG TATAY" / "SINS OF THE FATHERS" argument 

Totoo. Totoong totoo. Kaya dapat ina-acknowledge ng anak ang ginawa ng mga magulang nya to establish separation of beliefs, at di sana pinagtatanggol. Oh mga amigo amiga, double-triple check nyo yan ah. Mahusay naman kayo sa ganyan di ba? Smart kayo. Di kayo mahilig magpautot. *uto. Teka pati, running mate nya si Digong. Okay lang sayo yun? Ay baka okay lang sayo yun, kasi okay din si Digong para sayo. Figures. Paalala lang: Unfair sobra, para sa mga casualties ng current regime. At kung sasabihin mo na 'ganun talaga eh mga adik mga yun eh', aba. Okay din pala talaga sayo na may namamatay outside the boundaries of law. Tanggap mo rin talaga nangyari during Martial Law-- which is ironic, dahil hindi lawful kahit kailan ang rape, torture, at suppression. Wala kang pake eh (past is past). At pag wala kang pake, wag kang magpanggap na makatao. Lalong wag magpanggap na maka-Diyos.

"KAYA NGA NAG MARTIAL LAW DAHIL SA MGA TERORISTA EH"

Yes. Except hindi lang yung mga terorista ang naapektuhan. Kahit yung mga critics lang saka nagboses ng opinyon, nadali din. The collateral damage was too much FROM BOTH SIDES. Where to draw the line?-- I hear you ask again. It's one thing po na makita ang realidad ng law enforcement at war on terror/crime/drugs/beliefs etc. It's another to look away from too many casualties. Not fighting or voicing or even THINKING against collateral damage IS too much.

"EH BAKIT DI INALIS ANG MARTIAL LAW SA BATAS?"

Dahil kaya po yang i-implement na hindi naaapakan ang human rights at judicial system. For example, despite the criticisms towards the current admin, yung implementation ng martial law during the attacks in Marawi, was arguably justified. Oh ayan ah patas tayo.

"EH FAKE NEWS NGA KASI MARAMI SA NANGYARI NUNG MARTIAL LAW NI MARCOS" 

Luh eto na naman? Sabi nang dapat sure din kayo na di kayo napepeke ng mga binabasa saka pinapakinggan nyo eh. Dapat double check nyo rin 'real news' nyo.

"EH PANO SABI NG LOLO/LOLA KO?" 

Eh ano bang sabi ko kanina tungkol jan? Sige basahin mo ulit sa taas. Makinig ka pa rin sa ikukuwento nila, kasi we respect our elders. But we shouldn't be beholden to everything they say (luh English na naman). May sarili po tayong isip at kakayanang magaral.

"DILAWAN KA"

Nakakakilabot ah. Ayoko rin sa kanila. Whew pareparehas lang silang may ginawang masama. I'm sure na gustong gusto mo rin na kastiguhin mga Dilawan. Tara sabay tayo. Kaya nga di umunlad bansa eh, lalo pang nalugmok. Involved nga din sila sa killings ng mga magsasaka saka protesters. And duh, as if wala ding namamatay o nawawala na union members and leaders sa current regime. Pero di yan excuse para pagbigyan mo na lang mga Marcos loyalists.

"AKTIBISTA KA" 

My school mates and friends at the time can attest na hindi ako nagparticipate. Naniniwala din marami samin sa diversity ng ETHICAL methods and ETHICAL political views. Still, I must admit that my stance only changed drastically by the time na umupo si Duterte. Nagsisisi ako na tinamad ako so many times, and I wasn't informed or mature enough to make a choice, to make a vote. Di ba nga, you can stay neutral until you're not.

"EH ANONG GAGAWIN KO?"

Pagbanggain po ang mga nabasa o napanood na ebidensya at accounts from both sides (and 3rd party/international sources din), hanapin ang mga overlaps, then form an informed opinion. If somehow napaisip ka at nakaramdam ng konting hesitasyon sa pagboto kay BBM, wag ka munang magpanic at pagdudahan lahat ng bagay. Maghintay ka muna ng iba pang tatakbo. Wag yung bilib na bilib ka rin kaagad kay BBM. Maghihintay ako, at sana, maghintay ka rin. Wow romantic no hahahaha. De, sana may additional confirmed candidates pa.

"DI NA LANG AKO BOBOTO" o "WALA NA KONG PAKE" 

Kasi evil is evil, lesser, greater, middling? Hindi ka si Geralt (wink wink sa mga nakakuha ng reference). Bumoto ka pa rin if you can, please, and if it's safe (taking into account this pandemic). It matters. Evidently, nag matter yung mga boto towards Digong. Nanalo sya nun eh. So by the same token, may halaga yung boto mo, even if it's counted against sa boto ng iba. It will be one less vote laban sa ayaw mong maupo. It may seem like there's only few against many, pero pag mas maraming taong informed, mas dumadami yung.. yung few.. so magiging many sila. And of course, mas maraming may informed votes saka educated na desisyon, more chances of winning.

"NADADAYA ANG BOTOHAN" 

True. Very true. Pero mas mahirap dayain pag mas maraming legit na boto. Pahirapan nyo man lang sila, kahit pano. At pag nahirapan sila, mas madali silang papalpak. Mas madali silang magiging subjects to scrutiny.

I'm sure na meron pang mga arguments na di kasama sa mga nabanggit, pero pwede nyong kunin yung sagot sa ibang points na na-raise ko. If you've ever used any of those arguments above before, and somehow, medyo napaisip kayo after reading the counter-arguments (which is the best I could hope for), then take some time to rethink your decision. 

Hindi kailangang maging matalino para magkaron ng informed opinion. Dapat masipag lang manaliksik. Otherwise, madali ka ring mapaniwala, which is the very thing that you accuse others of. At kung sa tingin mo, napagisipan mo na nang maigi, then sige. Buo na desisyon mo eh. Baka well-informed ka na. Pero kung medyo napatigil o napaisip ka sa mga counter-arguments kanina, then walang masamang magisip pa ng konti. 

-----Additional articles po, past this point-----

For infinitely less rambly, more reliable, data-driven works, eto po mga pwede nyong basahin. Remember, don't judge too hastily na fake yang mga yan. A lot of the articles have been around for years, for people to read. Also, remember that these are from people with experience, expertise, and credibility, more so than a lot of us, including our own lolos and lolas (bless them, still). 

Galing po itong mga to sa internet-- for goodness' sake. Mag search lang tayo with intent to look for proper journalism and academic studies. From Brittanica yung unang dalawa, no less-- which is highly accessible, very digestible, concise, and still manages to present the good and bad (non-biased representation po). Easy to read na po yang mga yan ah:

The Marcos and early post-Marcos era (scroll down po kung gusto nyo magsimula agad sa Marcos era)

Martial law

And hindi mawawala ang mga nagsasabi na golden age ang Marcos regime. They saw those times with rose-colored glasses (idiomatic expression yern). Pero you'll notice something. Very anecdotal. Very similar sa mga nagkukwento sating matatanda. Medyo tricky maghanap ng ganito, sa totoo lang, from an online article na galing sa news outlet.

30 Years After Revolution, Some Filipinos Yearn for ‘Golden Age’ of Marcos

But this. This is easy to find. An apologist fb page. Non-academic and very fanatical, no surprise there, pero isisingit ko so you can check.

WE Love Ferdinand Marcos

Whew there are some interesting videos and posts here, primarily dahil sa mga footage and photos na meron sila. Watch or check those footages and photos ah, then ibangga nyo po sa mga alam natin from history. See how eloquent and compelling Ferdinand Marcos was, and you'll see kung ano ang isa sa mga kinabibiliban ng loyalists and apologists. There's value there, para makita mo kung anong hook nya sa mga tagasunod nya. 

You want more? Okay sige. Search mo sa Google yung Department of National Defense's web page for Ferdinand Marcos' biography, for some more heroic representation. You'll notice na nalimitahan sa iilang sentences yung Martial Law saka change of legislation. 

But it gets more bloody and not so heroic, with the other pages and articles ahead. It's true, mahirap nang maging non-biased when confronted with cruelty and injustice, but KEEP IN MIND, the numbers and statements na mababasa nyo from these links came from the security forces na appointed dati. Official numbers and statements po ang raw data nila. So there. 

Let's start off with a view on the economy. Opposite to the fanatical page earlier, here's an academic fb page post, para po alam nating numbers ang tinitignan nila, at hindi nostalgia at conspiracy lang. You can check the primary source na meron din sila for the compilation.

Econcepts: The Economy under the Marcos Era

For a slightly more detailed breakdown of the declaration of Martial law, with links or hypertexts in each section of the article:

Declaration of Martial Law

For the more sinister side na hindi kailanman bibigyan ng transparency ng mga security forces at the time-- here are some more readings:

‘San Juanico Bridge,’ other tortures detailed

3,257: Fact checking the Marcos killings, 1975-1985

Pano kamo mga massacres during the Aquino admin? Di po makacancel out nyan nangyari nung Martial Law, pero sige, para makita na rin natin na hindi natigil ang gulo. And ohoho, they're just as bad.

The Mendiola Massacre: Decades on, Philippine Land Reform Movement Remains Mired in Blood

Hacienda Luisita Timeline

Ayan online na po yang mga yan ah. No need to download anything as well. Kulang na kulang pa yan though, dahil this post is waaaay too long na po para mag accommodate ng ibang in-depth articles, let alone studies and published PDFs, and books! Physical and digital books! Pero di ba, may internet na pipol. There are loads of historical fiction as well, if you want to look at it from a literary angle, and even music and movies! Meron at meron po pag naghanap. Conspiracy theories nga nahahanap eh. But for my friends or colleagues na marami pong additional articles, readings, downloadables, books and media suggestions-- please po, do share if you're inclined to comment. Malaking tulong po yun. Maraming salamat! 

------------------------------------------------

TLDR; Ang bottomline po, wag basta basta susuporta sa political dynasties ah? Yung bagay lang na umuulit sila, nagpapasa-pasa ng posisyon sa angkan, dapat mapaisip na po tayo, oki? Di po dapat family business yan. If you have to make a decision to support someone from said families, make sure lang po na at least, nagresearch po tayo. Lesser evil and all that.

[rexsjaigeyes]

Are We There Yet?

Bodhi Rook x gender neutral reader

Words: 1.5k

Warnings: suggestive content

A/N: This is a birthday surprise for my bestie @zinzinina​​​​ that the lovely @mandaloriandin​​​​ and I created, but anyone can read this if they want to!

You weren't sure how many days you had been cramped up in the small ship with Bodhi. You were never good at keeping track of time in hyperspace — that was Bodhi's area of expertise, not yours. But you weren’t dumb; it was no coincidence that Bodhi took you on this little trip days before your birthday. You just weren't sure how many rotations were left before the big day — not with time seemingly dragging on as you stared out into the blue haze of hyperspace.

Bodhi greeted you with a smile as you approached the cockpit and sat in the copilot's seat beside him. He looked a lot happier here with you. He loved fighting for the Rebellion, but sometimes even the toughest fighters needed a break from it all. However, in war, a break was hard to come by. So he was taking a huge risk by 'borrowing’ this small ship to take you on what he described as an 'impromptu getaway.'

You knew there was nothing impromptu about it. Bodhi was not really the spontaneous type, and you knew he wouldn't desert the Rebellion when they needed him most. He must have planned this, and you were willing to bet credits that Cassian or Jyn helped him commandeer the ship too. You played along when he tried to write the trip off as nothing out of the ordinary. There wasn't much Bodhi could do to surprise you — not with constantly being on the Rebellion’s schedule. So you were happy to pretend his little plan had gone unnoticed if it made him feel like he was actually going to surprise you for your birthday.

Even without the element of surprise, you were still excited to see where he was taking you. You wouldn't have expected the trip would take this long, but then again, you assumed he had to find a destination left untouched by the Empire — something which was unfortunately becoming harder and harder to do nowadays.

"You're going to ask me again, aren't you?" Bodhi broke the comfortable silence in the cockpit, and you cracked a grin upon hearing his words.

"It's what you get for dragging me away from my comfy bunk back at the base."

"You and I both know those bunks are lousy."

You shrugged your shoulders, biting your lip to stop yourself from laughing too much. The entire crew had a running joke about the way Bodhi bemoaned the rock-hard bunks the Rebellion was infamous for. The first week he had spent there, he wouldn't stop complaining that even the cold-hearted Imperials gave them more comfortable beds than that. He only stopped his whining when Cassian teased, "We're rebels, Bodhi. We can’t afford luxurious beds." Your crew never let him live it down, but you knew he loved joking around with you about anything, even if it was at his expense sometimes.

"Alright, go ahead." Bodhi surrendered with a playful sigh. "Ask me."

You chuckled and got up from your seat so you could sit on his lap. If you were going to harass him for the rest of the trip, you might as well do it with his arms wrapped around your waist.

"Are we there yet?" You whined, putting on your best mock pout to drive the point home.

It was probably the 20th time you had asked him the silly question, as if he could just pull you out of hyperspace and arrive at the destination instantly. But this time, he seemed to do just that. He reached past your back and pulled at the controls, effectively bringing the ship out of hyperspace and stopping in front of a large, green planet. You glanced over your shoulder to look out the viewport and gasped at how beautiful it looked even from all the way out here in space.

"We're here," Bodhi responded with a grin. "It's been four standard rotations since we left, love. Which means… Happy birthday."

He looked almost bashful now, clearing his throat nervously as you snuggled closer to his chest.

"Thank you, Bodhi," you whispered before pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. He leaned into your touch, his lips seeking yours out before you indulged him and deepened the kiss as a way to show your gratitude. The two of you stayed like that for a moment, happy in each other's embrace and far from the dangers of the war. Then he pulled away from you, eager to show you exactly where he had brought you.

The trip down to the planet's surface was exciting enough on its own, and you had barely made it through the atmosphere. You had never seen a planet crawling with so much life before. You were used to desert planets, having been born on one in the Outer Rim and sent on missions to some of the most dreadful dirtballs. As Bodhi expertly landed the ship in a clearing among the tall trees, you gaped at how beautiful everything looked. You weren’t sure if he had brought you to this specific spot on purpose, but past the trees, you could see a large river leading to a waterfall. You heard Bodhi chuckle from his seat beside you, drawing you back to reality before you turned to see his shy smile.

Your eyes welled with happy tears, amazed that he was even able to find such a lovely place that wasn’t under Imperial rule. “You did all this just for my birthday?”

Bodhi shrugged, acting as humble as ever. “It’s your first birthday with me, so I thought I’d make it special. We could all use one happy day during a time like this.”

He looked down at the controls of the ship, unable to hold your loving gaze for too long. No matter how much you reassured him how much he meant to you, he always felt a little shy bringing up the fight against the Empire because of the part he had played in it before defecting. You reached forward to tilt his chin up so he’d look at you.

“Thank you for bringing me here, love.” You brushed your lips against his again, helping him relax against you before you pulled away with a smile. “So, are we going to explore?”

~

Bodhi helped you pack some food and other necessities before the two of you made the short trek to the waterfall you had seen. Once you got past the trees, your jaw dropped at the sight of the crystal-clear water tumbling down the cliffside into the large pool of water below. There was just enough space for you and Bodhi to sit near the water and eat the food you had brought along with you. He helped you lay a blanket on the lush grass, his hands knocking against yours every once in a while as if he was a shy schoolboy trying to show you he had feelings for you. It was something so small, but somehow, the innocent gesture still left you flustered and yearning to feel more of him.

You felt at ease with Bodhi, able to talk to him about anything while the two of you ate together. You liked the way he watched you with rapt attention as you rambled on about whatever was on your mind. He always gave you the attention you deserved, filing away whatever information you shared for days like this, when he wanted to surprise you with something or show you he cared. He was everything you could ask for in a friend and in a partner. And as you stared at your gorgeous surroundings, you felt so grateful to have met the pilot.

“So… have you enjoyed your birthday so far?” Bodhi asked hesitantly, as if there was any way you could possibly say “no” after everything he had done.

You bit your lip and scooted closer to him so that you could wrap your arms around his body in a tight hug. “This is more than I could have ever asked for, love. I can’t thank you enough for it.”

He kissed your forehead and caressed you with feather-light touches. “I wish it could always be like this. You deserve so much more than the galaxy has to offer.”

Bodhi’s soft confession made your heart beat faster, and you wanted to tell him the same thing. But you were never good at receiving compliments, especially when they were spoken with such adoration. Instead, you wanted to show your feelings through actions.

You pulled yourself from Bodhi’s warm embrace and tugged on his arm to pull him to his feet. “You’ve treated me so wonderfully today,” you said with a glint in your eye. “Now I want to show you how grateful I am for such a lovely gift.”

Bodhi watched with wide eyes as you quickly shed yourself of your clothes, and you chuckled at the way he looked at you as if he had never seen you naked before. Another tug of his arm had him stumbling closer to you, and you pressed yourself against him so he could feel your soft skin beneath his fingertips.

“Take off your clothes, Bodhi. I want to take a swim with you.” You nodded your head in the direction of the clear pool, eager to feel how soothing the water would be. “I think there’s still one more thing we have left to do to celebrate my birthday, don’t you?”

--------

Happy birthday, Sam!! Kylie and I hope you enjoyed this sweet fluff with Bodhi!

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[bbarican]

august 28, 2022; 7:10 pm - long weekend

long post ahead! i feel like i havent really had the time again to just sit down and update my tumblr (and even myself tbh) with everything thats going on with my life so fair warning this post is going to be super long but feel free to read along

work:

i hate how work is all i ever think about nowadays kasi wala naman akong jowa, all my friends are busy too, tapos na yung board exam pumasa na ko and everything so talagang when i have problems at work, its all my brain can think about and its really exhausting

ill try to go in depth again about work in another post next time pero all i can say is its both really fun to be challenged but also its just really tiring too kasi it isnt the most ideal way of being challenged (if that makes any sense)

im just really thankful for my work friends kasi they constantly remind me na oo nga pala im not alone and they understand me more than anyone could kasi theyre living through these challenges too

family:

my tita and tito are leaving this week and its really bittersweet! i love having them here kasi nga its a great break from the mundane but its also very tiring to constantly have to be a host every single day so all in all im just really glad they got to visit and that they had fun here during their stay!

sana most of my cousins could come to our house tomorrow for my little celebration kasi i really do miss them plus ang daming pagkain na balak lutuin/bilhin ng nanay ko and i dont want that to go to waste

i miss my kuya so much and i wish march would come sooner para nandito na siya for a few months of vacation

i love my family and our dogs so much and im forever thankful for all the blessings we receive everyday and that we're always safe

personal:

where the fuck did this rain come from? it was partially sunny from yesterday to this morning and now its pouring again - i love the rain, not so much the lightning, but i really hope it doesnt rain tomorrow

im so excited for tomorrow kasi my brain is already making a mental to do list of the things i want to accomplish tomorrow before guests start arriving

im so emotional and extra bloated kasi magkakaroon na ulit ako ng period and most of the time naaamaze parin ako sa flor app kasi sobrang accurate niya when it comes to telling you how long before you get your period again (that is, if you make sure to always update the calendar once you do get your period)

i dont exactly know what to wear yet tomorrow - and yes inisiip ko parin yun kahit na sa bahay lang naman kami magcecelebrate

i got the tiny spray bottle that came with my keyboard cleaner to work! akala ko sira talaga siya ever since i got it pero i think i just havent been pushing it correctly all this time lang

i kinda want a cute mousepad too kasi ang panget ng mousepad na gamit ko whenever i use my laptop

music:

talk that talk is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much better than pink venom when it comes to comeback singles

im so so so happy about twice sounding more like they did around mid 2019-2020 kasi thats my favorite era from them and im just really happy na talk that talk fits that sound ive always been looking for from them

super love the y2k mv, the choreo is AMAZING, the song is really cute, and i really love how maganda yung distribution of lines nila in the song

theres this particular song i recently fell in love with and instead of gatekeeping it (even though im sure some of you might already know it) im going to share it with all of you kasi its one of the loveliest songs ive discovered in a really long time - golden hour by jvke; reminds me so much of call me by your name and feeling like youre in italy and falling in love and being outside, basking in the sunlight with your lover - i really hope someone, someday, remembers me when they hear this song

and thats it for another update post! again if youve made it this far, thank you again for reading my updates; i hope you all are doing okay and are staying safe and dry!

happy long weekend, tumblr! sulitin na natin to!

[winchest09]

The Bunker Party - January Debrief

Hey my darlings!

So, The Bunker Party was back with a bang for the first month of 2021 and it was so nice to see so many wonderful and beautiful faces, new and old, on the stream. I have so much stuff to share with you, my fingers will ache once I’ve finished typing it all. 

The stream was just amazing. It was filled with fun, laughter, and so many of you sharing your love for all things Supernatural. Seriously, SPN does have THEE best fandom and I’m so glad to be a part of it.

6 hours we were hanging out for! To see so many beautiful faces, hear so many lovely voices and to spend time with all you guys was just a dream! The support from everyone for each other, the love in this fandom; I can’t express how much I adore it.

I love holding these events and as I mentioned last night, the next one will be in February (date to be announced) and I’m already looking forward to seeing so you all again. 

So…to the debrief!

Below you will find:

Everyone who joined - their tags, what’s coming up fic wise and their masterlist.

Announcements, News and links to Patreons and Etsy shops!

Challenges to join - we have SIX!

Blogs who want to help with your writing

Graphics and Icons

Fic & blog recs

You are the guys that make it the live stream what it is, and we can never thank you enough. So below is a list of everyone who was on the chat yesterday accompanied by their masterlist and a little blurb of what they have coming up soon! For your reading pleasure and in no particular order…

–

@waywardbeanie: Shelli has come so far in the matter of a few months. From being a reader to now a series writer! She has one series under her belt already and is well on her way with her second on, Life on Tour. She is ALSO planning her third, which we may have had a sneak peak too last night and I am BEYOND excited. 

You can find her masterlist HERE

–

@deanwanddamons: Sian has come so far in a year! She has several series on the go, so many oneshots and I already know her plans for her next series. There are more plans for The Show Must Go On, Mechanic and Mistletoe and others. OH, I am excited!  

Her masterlist can be found HERE

–

@jensengirl83: Brandy is such a sweetheart and we adore her. She’s still under the year mark for writing but that doesn’t stop her from nailing it. With one series completed, a ton of oneshots under her belt, she’s now working on her second series and is smashing it. 

You can find her masterlist HERE

–

@whatareyousearchingfordean: Alex is nailing it at the moment with her fictions. She’s currently posting Happiness Continued (the sequel to Happiness Begins) which is nearing it’s end *sobs*  BUT we were spoiled to some spoilers and information about what’s coming next. Ohhhh we have two more series on the way and they are juicy! Head over to her blog to find out one of them, she’s announced it already ;) 

Her masterlist can be found HERE

–

@superfanficnatural:  Mert has took some time away from the writing world but nothing could keep him from showing his fantastic self on our livestream. He’s has finally gotten back into his writing thanks to much encouragement ;) and is chipping away at the next add for his series The Choice. We’re super proud of him. 

He has some other series in the works, a couple of collaborations that he’s got under his belt too…

Go and give him some love, his masterlist can be found HERE

–

@soaringeag1e: We adore Meg and she is a regular on our stream. She has such an extensive list of SPN fanfiction that it’s a treat for your eyeballs! 

She is currently working on her series Escape and we have been treated to hearing about some of her new series that she has coming out very soon! Fake Dating anyone? YES PLEASE.   Head over and get yourself signed up if you’re not already!

You can find her masterlist HERE

–

@thinkinghardhardlythinking: Saira is absolutely nailing it when it’s coming to writing at the moment and her words are out of this world. She’s recently been sucked into the Royal AU and is writing a Knight!Sam x Reader fic and it is TO DIE FOR. 

She’s such a sweetheart. Please show her some love and support <3 You can find her masterlist HERE

–

@janicho88: This lovely lady is working on some absolute winners at the minute. “Falling for You” and “Fire, Fur and Mistletoe” to name just a couple! She is one of the kindest and supportive souls that you will ever meet. Definitely one to check out and read!

You can find her masterlist HERE

–

@downanddirtydean: Lydia was new to our stream and I cannot say how much I enjoyed having this beaut on there. She is working on some AMAZING pieces at the moment. Holidate being one of them! Fake Dating anyone? UHH YEAH! She also has over 30 smutty oneshots... You can find her masterlist HERE

–

@carryonmywaywardcaptain: Jordan was another new face to our stream last night and it was so nice getting to know her. She told all about what she is currently working on. “Miles of Memories” is a best friend to lover AU which sounds absolutely incredible. If you’re not checking her out already, what are you waiting for? 

You can find her her masterlist HERE

– 

@sams-sass: Chelsea was new to our stream and the award for the first Sam girl to grace our screen has been awarded. She is an absolute sweetheart and with what we heard about her works, her idea and what she’s got coming up...I AM SOLD. She has told us that she is currently working on “Secrets in the Snow” and we are EXCITED. 

She is a creative genius and I’m living for it. 

You can find her masterlist HERE

-

@flamencodiva: Vanessa is still in the process of reposting everything she had lost back onto her blog and she is slowly but surely, getting up to date. We have been told what is coming up, more “What He Lost, What He Found” as well as “The Hunters Encyclopaedia”. She is also working on some wonderful new series’ behind the scenes and we may have been teased to a collab that will be coming your way soon! 

Check out her masterlist HERE

–

@that-one-gay-girl: Sydney is such a kind soul and an absolute beaut, and we were so happy to see her on our stream. Even though she is a fairly new writer, that hasn’t stopped her from bashing out some fabulous pieces of fiction! She has a completed series under her belt and is currently working on the next chapter of “Oh, Baby” as well as “A Hero’s Journey”

You can find her masterlist HERE

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@deangirl93: Our first Aussie that has graced our stream and what an abolute babe she is. For a new writer, she has come so far in the matter of months. She has her first completed series “Life Lessons” under her belt as well as some phenomenal oneshots. We’ve also been told about her works that are coming up... Demon!Dean or Dean Smith anyone? ;) 

You can find her masterlist HERE

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@anathewierdo: Ana is such a darling and we always love having her on the streams. She’s currently reposting her fic Call of the Ocean which is a collaboration with Flamencodiva. Not only that, she’s also working on a Princess Diaries AU, a Serial Killer AU and many more!

You can find her masterlist HERE

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@emoryhemsworth: This beaut has had a couple of busy months but she is currently working on her series called “Losing Sleep” as well as plotting her amazing TWD crossover fic which we cannot wait for! 

Check our her masterlist HERE:

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@anaelsbrunette: We loved having Yas on our stream and she told us all about the juicyness that she’s got coming our way. She is concentrating on darker stuff at the moment but we have also been told that she has a Mafia AU that will soon grace our screens...keep your eyes peeled! 

Check it out and give her some love.

You can find her masterlist HERE

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@impalawrites: Pala joined our stream for a while and it was lovely to hear her voice and for her tell us what’s going on in her writing life. She has recently changed her blog name (she was impala-1979) and now she is focusing on not just supernatural but many other fandoms too! 

She has many, many more goodies on offer and is doing wonderfully!

You can find her masterlist HERE

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@defenderrosetyler: Ali came back to our stream and we loved having her. She currently has a couple of oneshots available on her masterlist for both Sam and Dean! She is definitely one to keep an eye out for! She’s a total sweetheart too!

You can find her masterlist HERE

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@wonder-cole: Such a sweetheart and a wonderful person. New to the stream this time and we loved having her. She told us all about her amazing ideas and what she is writing at the moment. In the works there is going to be a Son’s of Anarchy crossover,  Michael!Dean and a male reader fic AND a Bi!Reader and Charlie fic. 

*squee* We are excited.

You can find her masterlist HERE

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@katelynw93: Kate is a new writer to the supernatural fandom but she is doing so so well! She has a bunch of stuff for both Sam and Dean and her writing is just AMAZING. She is definitely one to go and check out! 

You can find her masterlist HERE

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@chocolateheart: Marcie is a little ray of sunshine and her writing always gets me hooked. She has no series as of yet but I have heard of what she is cooking up and I am excited! She has some fabulous fluffy and sexy oneshots though that you should definitely check out! 

You can find her masterlist HERE

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@anotherspnfanfic: Another wonderful new face to our stream this time around and were so happy that she joined us! Again, this wonderful writer has an amazing list of oneshots but no series as of yet. She is definitely one to be checking out! 

You can find her masterlist HERE

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@440mxs-wife: Another new beautiful face to our stream! It was so nice to have her join us and we have found another little hidden treasure trove of fictions! Her masterlist covers more than just Sam and Dean, we have fics for Cas, Gabriel and Ketch too!

You can find her masterlist HERE

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Me: Well, Life for Rent is completed! My new series “Hello, Sailor” is in progress and I’m about to finish my mini series “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”. I have also just posted a smut filled oneshot called “Do Not Disturb” and I have plans for many more stories! Seriously...my idea doc is screaming at me! Ahah. 

My masterlist can be found HERE:

HONORARY MENTIONS 

Now, these guys are regulars to our livestreams and/or do a hell of a lot to support other people within the supernatural fandom. So it’s only fair that we give them a shout out and to share the love with them too! 

In no particular order:

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@smol-and-grumpy: Nat has such a juicy masterlist and can I just mention that since our last livestream, she has completed quite a few other series and is now posting two new ones! A personal fav of mine is “Legally Yours” IT IS CERTIFIED GOLD. 

You can find her masterlist HERE

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@talesmaniac89:  Our darling Tales is taking a hiatus at the moment but her blog is still worth checking out. She has some amazing series and such a long list of fics under her belt as well as SO MANY GRAPHICS. She’s an absolute sweetheart and I adore her greatly. 

Check her out guys, her masterlist is HERE

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@katehuntington: Kate is also taking a hiatus at the moment but again, it’s a blog definitely worth checking out. Her writing is exquisite and the imagery she paints is just wonderful. Ride with Me anyone? She also has an OFC Fic too! 

Her masterlist can be found HERE

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@atc74: Ang is such a wonderful supporter to new and old writers alike on tumblr. I am always seeing her reblogging peoples stories and offereing words of kindness and positivity. Not only that, she has a wonderful masterlist of her own fabulous creations too! 

Her masterlist can be found HERE

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To the upcoming writers & readers…

@abuavnee, @winchesterxfamilybusiness, @adoptdontshoppets, @zooaliaa, @carolinabeauty6298, @akshi8278​ & the few nonnies we had!

Sabrina: We know that you’ve dabbled with some writing already but if you need us for anything, idea bouncing or anything, just hit us up, you know where we are <3

Abu: Girl, your first of writing blew me away with how poetic it was and it was so nice to put a face to a name yesterday. If you ever need help with writing, give us a message! 

Karen: Your support to all of us writers is just phenomenal and I cannot thank you enough for taking the time to leave such wonderful comments. We appreciate you so much <3

Zoe: Even though you’re not a new writer, you’re new to tumblr and we were so intrigued about the fic idea you already have posting to wattpad right now. Welcome to the family babe! 

MJ: Again, your support to all of us writers is just the best. Thank you for taking the time to read through our stuff, it means the absolute world. 

Akshita: Another fabulous reader who offers wonderful support to all of us writers. Thank you so much for all of your comments and your kind words. 

We want to thank all of you for your constant support, your feedback, your words, your reactions to what we write. Your likes, your reblogs, your asks. We appreciate every single thing you do. So thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We love you. Also, remember guys - we’re all here to love and support you! My inbox is always open if you want to talk about anything and everything. Even if you wish to start writing…give any of us a shout. We’re here to help! Thank you for joining the chat and we hope you had an amazing time <3 Please spread the love and show your support to all of these amazing people, go follow and give them some love!

We’ve got some goodies for you! 

We want to bring to everyone’s attention once again, the wonderful organisation that is Ficfasers, an international fundraising group of authors and artists who love Supernatural. They offer thank yous to people who agree to donate to Random Acts by creating stories/art, crafts, and more for winning bidders and ticket buyers!

Again, this is amazing and it’s something that so many of us can get involved in. We’ve been told an event is coming up around the holiday period so watch this space!

Want to write for Charity?

Check out their tumblr HERE

and their website HERE

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Follower achievements!

Join me in congratulating these amazing blogs as they have surpassed or are close to a follower milestone!

@waywardbeanie is closing in on 600 followers!     @downanddirtydean has passed 500 followers!

@superfanficnatural is closing in on 900 followers! @jensengirl83  is closing in on 900 followers! @deangirl93 is closing in on 500 followers!

Congratulations guys!

If you’re not following them already, head on over and show them your support!

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Want to be the first to read new chapters of your favourite fics?

Some of our fabulous livestream participants have Patreon!

For a small fee a month, you get personalised drabbles, oneshots and MORE as well as first dibs on new chapters before ANYONE else! Please consider giving them your support.

The links for each authors Patreon is below: @cockslut-padalecki -  Find hers HERE

@flamencodiva - Find hers HERE

@soaringeag1e - Find hers HERE

@impalawrites - Find hers HERE

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Want to support new creators and get your hands on some SPN Merch?

We have two etsy shops to share with you! Both of them make some amazing things and are definitely worth checking out if you’re wanting to treat yourself. 

@downanddirtydean has a wonderful little shop full of supernatural goodies like scrunchies and stickers! You can check it out HERE & @that-one-gay-girl has a little shop where she offers custom portraits and I have been told that some Spn goodies are on the way too! Check it out HERE

Oh, IT’S CHALLENGE TIME. This month, we have SIX challenges for you to get involved in!

First of all, we still have @janicho88 100 follower Christmas themed challenge! It ends on the 31st January but there are still spots left! 

Check it out, HERE

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Secondly, we have @wonder-cole‘s 100 follower celebration too! This challenge is pretty unique as she has taken the things her 11 year old has said for the prompts! 

You can check it out, HERE  

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Thirdly, we @deanwanddamons 2K follower and 1 Year blogiversary challenge! She’s taken some inspiration from the movies and come up with some quotes, the challenge is open until the 1st February! 

Check it out, HERE

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Fourthly, we have @downanddirtydean‘s 500 follower celebration! She has come up with a list of 50 prompts to tickle your pickle and to make it juicer, she’s added in a giveaway of prizes that she makes herself! 

Take a look and enter the challenge, HERE

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Fifthly, we have @carryonmywaywardcaptain‘s Supernaturally Marvelous challenge! This challenge has a list of songs, AU’s, Dialogue prompts and more to choose from! 

Check it out, HERE

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And last, but certainly not least, we have @flamencodiva‘s Writing Challenge which she holds every few months to help when you get that dreaded writers block. Who knows, maybe her prompt will spark a wave of inspiration! 

Check it out, HERE

Need a graphic? Header, banner, divider?

Our gorgeous @talesmaniac89 is available to create whatever you would like! She’s the creator behind our banners for this post and numerous other masterlist across the board. Give her a message! 

Struggling with some smut?

@superfanficnatural has offered his services to be the person you can go to if you need to hash out certain words, feelings and perspective. He is the perfect person to give you an insight to the male POV when it comes to sex so if you’re writing Destiel or a chapter from the guys POV, Mert is there to help!

Need help finding that one gif?

@emoryhemsworth is your go to girl! Seriously, you tell her you want a gif of Dean in a specific place, wearing a certain outfit, she will find it for you in no time at all. She’s a diamond as she’ll also credit the creators!

Struggling to find that one word? Or even a title?

@atc74 is your guru! She is perfect for getting you unstuck and if you’re struggling with a title, she can also help on this front! I always struggle with a title, and a summary so I know i’ll definitely be hitting Ang up if i get stuck!

Lost a fic? Need help to find it again?

@spnfic-search-blog is the blog to go too! Send an ask and they will dedicate their time to try and find it for you!

Need a new aesthetic? Line divider? We got you! Our fabulously talented @talesmaniac89 has drawn up so MANY supernatural themed line breakers, headers and more for your free usage!

Just look at some of these!

She has a few posts full already!

We’re talking dividers, headers, banners, gifs and icons!

Check them out HERE!

Give them a like, a reblog and please THANK HER if you use her work. She’s the most kind hearted, loving soul and a few words go a long way <3

Blog Recs!

@smol-and-grumpy - Nat is such a kind soul, always wanting to make others smile, others wanting to go the extra mile for her followers. She holds giveaways just as a thank you for reading her work and above all else, her writing is just out of this world. She deserves so much love and credit for what she does. 

@crashdevlin - I don’t think a livestream has gone by where this lady’s fics have NOT been recommended. Whenever Crash’s name is brought up on stream, so many people love her work and freak out and it’s so lovely to see. So here’s to you Crash! Well done <3

 Fic Recs!

True Loves Kiss

By

@carryonmywaywardbucky

Pairing: Non Yet, eventual Sam Winchester x Reader

Summary:  When word of a cursed prince reached your kingdom, your king knew exactly who to send to try and wake him up. The king treated you like the daughter he never had, so question never crossed his mind when he gave you what he hoped would be your final mission.

—

My Brother’s Girl By @cockslut-padalecki

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Reader, Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary:  When Dean returns from Purgatory, he hopes to be reunited with his long term girlfriend Y/N and Sam after five long years without them. But when he shows up at Sam’s door unable to locate her, Dean realises he doesn’t need to look much farther to find her.

—

All The Good Girls Go To Hell By @cockslut-padalecki

Pairing:  Step Dad!Sam x Step Daughter!Reader, Uncle!Dean x Niece!Reader

Summary:  When Sam marries into Y/N’s family he naively believes she’s a little princess incapable of putting a step wrong. But once he comes face to face with evidence that proves she’s far from angelic which also implicates his own brother in her misdeeds, Sam finds himself battling against his own moral judgement.

—

Corrupted By @cockslut-padalecki

Pairing:  Lawyer!Sam x Reader.

Summary:  When Sam inadvertently chooses to work instead of spend time with Y/N, she decides on a little revenge to show him what he’s missing… however she massively underestimates Sam and his power to put her in her place.

—

Crimson Leaves By @waywardrose13

Pairing:  Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary:  The dead have risen. Amid a global pandemic that causes the dead to prowl the Earth, a leader of a small camp in North Carolina fights for survival. Y/n Y/l/n was certain of three things: One, only a bite would turn you. Two, the brain must be destroyed in order to completely kill the thing. Three, trust no one. When a stranger is brought to her camp half alive, Y/n must make the decision to throw him to the walkers, or let the mystery man heal within the gates. As Dean Winchester recovers from a zombie attack, he worms his way into the camp, and eventually into Y/n’s heart. Love is a dangerous game, especially when it’s played with the dead.

—

Flashes By @our-jensen-ackles-love

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Summary: Playboy Jensen Ackles is hurting his television show’s image. Every time he promised to get his act together, it’d last for about a week before pictures emerge of him half-drunk with some broad on his arm. Fed up and desperate, his agent decides their only hope to save some face is to write up a contract with a nobody girl who could use the money while getting to play the role of Jensen’s girlfriend. It was only for a year and it was only for the photos. But feelings don’t always follow the rules, do they?

—

Icarus By @savior-adriana

Pairing:  Dean Winchester x Demon!Reader

Summary:  She was a succubus – a sex demon, held captive by the Winchesters and despite Sam’s desperate attempts to stop his brother from giving in, Dean loses the battle against his need for her.

—

Frozen By @watermelonlipstick

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Reader

Summary:  Sam and the reader get stranded on the highway during a snowstorm.

—

Dean’s Jeans By @watermelonlipstick

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary:  A late summer afternoon on your cul-de-sac with Dean, Sam, your daughters, and their cousin DJ.

—

 Till Death Do Us Part? By @amanda-teaches

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary:  At a work party with your best friend, Dean, you panic when your new boss asks if you’re couple. Lying to protect your promotion, you wind up fake engaged before you can take it back. When Dean agrees to go along with your lie for a weekend retreat, you end up finding something neither of you had bargained for: love.

—

Broken By @atwistoffate

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary:  The man you love is about to marry someone else. This is how the worst day of your life begins.

—

Blue or Red By @atwistoffate

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary:  Can two people who broke up be friends again? Just friends?

—

It Was You By @jerkbitchidjitassbutt

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Female Reader

Summary:  Jensen and Y/n are childhood best friends. When his agent informs him that his image could use some improvement for a role, will she help him? Or will her feelings get in the way?

—

Not Losing You By @luci-in-trenchcoats

Pairing:  Mechanic!Dean Winchester x reader

Summary:  The reader is pulled over on the side of the road when a man suddenly appears and proceeds to collapse in front of her. Little does she know, that may be a good thing for them both…

—

By My Side By @luci-in-trenchcoats

Pairing: Bodyguard!Jensen Ackles x Reader

Summary:  While at home one night, the reader, an actress, is almost kidnapped and at her friend’s suggestion she hires Jensen as her bodyguard. After a rocky start, the pair begin to get along and tensions ease when they think the threat against her has subsided. But as things at home get better, the reader’s family comes to town and all Hell breaks loose…

—

With All My Heart By @torn-and-frayed

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Summary: N/A

—

Protector By @fictionalabyss

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: N/A

— 

La Petite Mort By @percywinchester27

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader AU

Summary:  The reader has just shifted to a new flat and boy, someone on the floor has a really banging sex life! The passionate moans have been keeping her up for several nights in row and enough is enough! Reader has her suspicions, but is it really the green-eyed hottie from room no. 307?  

—

You’re Home By @acreativelydifferentlove

Pairing: Alpha!Dean x Omega!Reader

Summary:  After years away at college, you have finally returned to your home town. In order to settle back into the community, you have to seek permission from the Head Alpha. What happens when you see his son for the first time since presenting as an Omega?

—

A Gentleman’s Agreement By @stusbunker

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Benny LaFitte

Summary: N/A

—

Stolen Crown By @roonyxx & @jay-and-dean

Pairing:  Dean Winchester x reader / Knight!Dean x reader 

Summary: What happens when she is sent in a world that isn’t hers, but with very familiar faces ?

—

Ablaze By @ellewritesfix05​

Pairing:  Firefighter!Dean x Doctor!Reader

Summary:  Y/N Y/L/N’s life is simple — work, books, and saving lives. But when a handsome firefighter comes to her hospital in need of care, her life gets turned upside down as she quickly falls for the green-eyed hero. Will being with him prove to be what was missing from her life?

—

No Forgetting You By @ellewritesfix05​

Pairing:  MOC!/Demon!Dean x Reader

Summary:  Being Dean Winchester’s girlfriend is no easy task. Through thick and thin, (Y/N) remained fighting monsters by his side. But what will happen when Dean becomes one of those monsters? In this story, the Reader is faced with difficult situations and decisions that will turn her once-perfect life upside down.

—

Mess is Mine By @supernaturalfreewill​

Pairing:  Sam Winchester x Reader

Summary:  Fic based on ‘Mess Is Mine’ by Vance Joy originally requested by anonymous! You might not want to read this when you’re home alone or sitting in the dark. Just FYI. It’s kinda creepy

—

White Picket Fence By @negans-lucille-tblr

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary:  Dean finally gets his American dream life. A perfect wife, big house and the perfectly obnoxious neighbors beyond a white picket fence. But what goes on behind closed doors is far from suburban.

—

Other Fandom Recs!

Sunrise By @wkemeup​

Pairing:  bucky x reader (veteran!bucky x librarian!reader)

Summary:  After an explosion takes his arm and his only sense of belonging, Bucky is discharged from active duty and sent back to civilian life. Left with a storm of unchecked guilt, Bucky is content to live out the rest of his days in the hollow comfort of the dark. This is, until Sam drags him down to the local VA and he meets you. (Modern AU)

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I think that’s it! 

Phew! I hope you all enjoy this recap! Thank you so much once again to everyone who joined the chat, we had 6 hours of laughs and I cannot wait to do it again. I’d appreciate it if you could share this to spread the love of the fics and authors on here!

Keep an eye out for the next date for our next livestream! It will be in February. If you guys have any idea’s or want something included, let us know. If you want to be tagged when we announce, let us know!

See you next time!

xox