#paliperidone

[callonneptunesoceans]

Has anyone else been on Paliperidone (Invega Sustena) injections?

I was on it for a few months earlier this year and they just put me back on it and I was wondering if anyone had a muscle twitch as a side effect?

It’s almost like a tic where I cannot stop my jaw and tongue from moving around and my leg from twitching. I physically cannot sit still.

Anyone else? If so, how long did it last?

[phonemantra-blog]

The Benefits and Considerations of Invega Injection When it comes to mental health treatment, finding effective solutions is crucial. Invega injection has gained popularity as a treatment option for various mental health conditions. In this article, we will explore the benefits and considerations of Invega injection, shedding light on its purpose and mechanism of action. Understanding Invega Injection What is Invega? Invega is an antipsychotic medication that belongs to the class of drugs known as atypical antipsychotics. It contains the active ingredient paliperidone, which helps manage symptoms associated with mental health disorders. How does Invega Injection Work? Invega injection works by affecting the levels of certain chemicals in the brain, specifically dopamine and serotonin. It helps regulate the neurotransmitters, which play a crucial role in transmitting signals between brain cells. By modulating these neurotransmitters, Invega injection helps alleviate symptoms of mental disorders and promote stability. Conditions Treated with Invega Injection Invega injection is primarily used for the treatment of schizophrenia, a chronic mental disorder characterized by hallucinations, delusions, and disorganized thinking. It is also prescribed for related disorders such as schizoaffective disorder and bipolar disorder with psychotic features. In some cases, healthcare professionals may prescribe Invega injection off-label for other mental health conditions. Benefits and Efficacy of Invega Injection Clinical studies have shown that Invega injection offers several benefits for individuals with mental health disorders. It helps reduce the severity and frequency of symptoms associated with schizophrenia and related conditions. Additionally, Invega injection has been found to improve overall functioning and quality of life for patients. Furthermore, Invega injection has demonstrated efficacy in managing acute episodes and preventing relapse in individuals with schizophrenia. It helps stabilize mood, reduce hallucinations and delusions, and improve cognitive abilities. The long-acting nature of the injection provides continuous medication delivery, ensuring consistent symptom control. It is important to note that the benefits of Invega injection may vary from person to person. It is essential to consult with a healthcare professional to determine the most suitable treatment approach based on individual needs and circumstances. Administration and Considerations Administration of Invega Injection The Invega injection is administered by healthcare professionals. The injection is typically given once a month, although the frequency may vary depending on the individual's condition and response to treatment. The dosage is determined by the healthcare provider based on factors such as the severity of symptoms and the patient's overall health. Potential Side Effects and Risks Like any medication, Invega injection may cause certain side effects. Common side effects include drowsiness, dizziness, weight gain, and changes in appetite. Other possible side effects include constipation, dry mouth, and blurred vision. It is important to report any side effects to the healthcare provider for evaluation and appropriate management. While rare, there are certain risks associated with Invega injection. These may include an increased risk of stroke, neuroleptic malignant syndrome (a potentially life-threatening condition), and tardive dyskinesia (involuntary movements). It is important to discuss the potential risks and benefits of Invega injection with the healthcare provider to make an informed decision. Precautions and Considerations Before starting Invega injection, it is important to inform the healthcare provider about any existing medical conditions, allergies, or medications being taken. Invega injection may interact with certain medications, so it is crucial to provide a comprehensive medical history. Special precautions should be taken for specific populations. Invega injection should be used with caution in elderly patients, as they may be more prone to certain side effects. Pregnant or breastfeeding individuals should discuss the potential risks and benefits of Invega injection with their healthcare provider, as it may affect the developing fetus or nursing infant. It is essential to follow the healthcare provider's instructions regarding the use of Invega injection. Stopping or changing the medication without medical supervision can lead to a relapse of symptoms or other complications. Regular check-ups and open communication with the healthcare provider are important for monitoring the effectiveness and safety of the treatment. Frequently Asked Questions How long does it take for an Invega injection to work? The effects of Invega injection may vary from person to person. Some individuals may start experiencing improvements in symptoms within a few days or weeks, while others may take longer. It is important to continue the treatment as prescribed and consult with the healthcare provider for any concerns or questions regarding the timeline of response. Can Invega injection be used as a standalone treatment? Invega injection is often used as part of a comprehensive treatment plan for mental health conditions. It may be prescribed alongside other medications, therapy, and lifestyle modifications. The healthcare provider will determine the most appropriate treatment approach based on the individual's needs and the severity of the condition. Are there alternatives to Invega injection? Yes, there are alternative medications and treatment options available for mental health conditions. Other antipsychotic medications may be prescribed depending on the individual's response and specific needs. Additionally, therapy, counseling, and lifestyle changes may also be recommended as part of a holistic approach to mental health treatment. It is important to discuss the available options with the healthcare provider to determine the best course of action. Can Invega injection be used in pediatric patients? Invega injection is not typically approved for use in pediatric patients. The safety and efficacy of Invega injection in children and adolescents have not been extensively studied. However, healthcare providers may consider off-label use in certain cases based on the individual's condition and after careful evaluation of the potential risks and benefits. How long should someone continue Invega injection? The duration of Invega injection treatment varies depending on the individual's condition and response to the medication. It is important to follow the healthcare provider's guidance regarding the duration of treatment. Discontinuing Invega injection abruptly can lead to a recurrence of symptoms. The healthcare provider will assess the need for ongoing treatment and may adjust the treatment plan as necessary. What should I do if I miss an Invega injection? If you miss an Invega injection, it is important to contact your healthcare provider as soon as possible. They will guide how to proceed. In some cases, they may recommend rescheduling the missed injection or adjusting the treatment plan. It is crucial not to double the dose or make any changes without consulting your healthcare provider. Can Invega injection cause weight gain? Weight gain is a potential side effect of Invega injection. Some individuals may experience an increase in appetite and changes in metabolism, which can lead to weight gain. It is important to maintain a healthy lifestyle, including a balanced diet and regular exercise, to minimize the risk of weight gain. If you have concerns about weight changes while taking Invega injections, discuss them with your healthcare provider for appropriate guidance. Is it safe to consume alcohol while using Invega injection? It is generally recommended to avoid alcohol while using Invega injection. Alcohol can interact with the medication and increase the risk of certain side effects, such as drowsiness and dizziness. Additionally, alcohol can worsen the symptoms of mental health conditions. It is important to discuss alcohol consumption with your healthcare provider to understand any specific precautions or recommendations based on your situation. Can Invega injection be used during pregnancy? The use of Invega injection during pregnancy should be carefully considered and discussed with your healthcare provider. It is important to weigh the potential risks to the developing fetus against the benefits of the medication. Invega injection may pass into breast milk, so breastfeeding while using this medication should also be discussed with the healthcare provider. Your healthcare provider will evaluate your specific situation and guide the most appropriate course of action. How does Invega injection compare to other antipsychotic medications? Invega injection belongs to the class of atypical antipsychotic medications, which are known for their effectiveness in managing symptoms of mental health disorders. It is effective in treating schizophrenia and related conditions. However, the choice of antipsychotic medication depends on various factors, including individual response, side effect profile, and specific needs. Your healthcare provider will consider these factors and discuss the available options to determine the most suitable treatment approach for you. Conclusion: Invega injection offers several benefits for individuals with mental health disorders, particularly in the management of symptoms associated with schizophrenia and related conditions. It is important to understand the purpose, mechanism of action, administration, and considerations of Invega injection to make informed decisions about its use. Consulting with a healthcare professional is crucial for personalized advice and to ensure the most appropriate treatment approach for your specific needs.

[lovelornronnie]

(Click to enhance teh quality!!)

A piece I made for my fanfic "Paliperidone"!! You can read it here!! or click more on this post

"Paliperidone"

It was stormy nights like this that left Edd restless. Tossing and turning in his bed, trying to put his racing mind at peace as the booming sounds of thunder ensued. The hard pitter-patter of the rain came pouring down ever so violently, making a white noise that most people found comforting. But for him? It was what kept him up so badly at night.

It was nights like these that always made his thoughts race. The raging sound of the storm reminded him of the aftermath of the incident. The rumbling sounds of the storm sounded oh so similar to the explosions that emanated from the giant robot after Tom had launched that good-for-nothing harpoon that proved itself useful, the sounds of muffled rain outside his apartment sounding almost as reminiscent of the sound of the debris from said robot that came crashing down, scattering from each other as it fell. And the worst part? It made him think of when Tord came back to them, back to him.

He couldn't help but lay awake that night, his eyes so concentrated on staring at the ceiling as if there was anything worth looking at on it as his restless mind thought of that fucking traitor. The traitor that he still cared about, the one that he still worries for. Edd wonders what his life is like now, how he thinks of Tom for almost killing him, of Matt who overloaded his robot's system with his button mashing, of his self who genuinely cared so much, who wanted him back so badly... and for also joining in the button mashing with Matt.

He hated every thought that correlated to Tord, but it was something he just couldn't help. He felt so betrayed by himself for thinking that he finally moved on, finally didn't care, finally didn't yearn for that bastard. But tonight? It was as if he was back to square one, learning how to let go and move on. It made him feel so fucking awful, deep to his core. Because why? Why would he want to worry about someone who hurt his friends? Someone who hurt and betrayed him, with a ruthless smile on his face as he flew away into the sky? Someone who left almost everything he loved into a pile of rubble and dust, and killed the only tolerable neighbor that he had?

These questions were so unanswerable to him, that no matter how much he tried, he was only ever left more and more clueless. And even when he thought of an answer that was good enough to explain it all, it only made him feel sick. So he concluded that no answer would ever suffice. Eventually, on another stormy night, he'll find himself asking the same set of questions over and over again like a broken record player- feeling sick time and time again as he reaches yet another false conclusion.

Then a different kind of thought surged through, one that questioned all the things he wanted to come true. What if Tord came back to him for good and never left? What if he never made that giant robot in the first place, so that he had no reason to come back and leave him more broken than he ever was? What if they just...lived happily ever after? All together in one house having silly adventures and getting into all sorts of trouble? Edd yearned for the good old days and mourned for all the things that never happened.

The more he thought of it all, overanalyzing every bit of Tord's behavior and comparing it to the time when they were together and to the time that he went back, all the memories of them together from the first time they met, to the last time they ever saw each other. The stupid hypothetical questions he still clung to that he hoped would at least come true in another timeline. It made him feel so vulnerable. The tears in his eyes threatened to stream down his cheek, his face burning from the stress.

Edd sobbed his stupid heart out quietly, as the walls that separated him and his friends were thin enough that if he were to cry any louder, one of them would start frantically knocking with worry and annoyance. But then again it didn't matter how quietly he cried, as the rain was loud enough that it drowned out his miserable crying.

After crying for what felt like hours, he was left there sniffling, as small beads of tears formed and rolled down his face now and then. His cheeks were stained with tears that he didn't bother to wipe off as he lay there motionless. Echoes of a headache slowly disappeared, as the thoughts in his head started to ease in and stop. And for once tonight, he was at peace even as the storm violently raged on outside.

...

He then got up from his bed, thinking now was a good time to freshen up and wash the tears off his face. As he walked to the bathroom, he felt an odd wave of anxiety cover over him the closer he got to the bathroom. It made him dread something, but what? An intruder? His apartment was pretty secure, with cameras everywhere and a night guard in the lobby.

So why? Why was his stomach churning, as if swarms of butterflies were flying so violently around in him? He couldn't understand what was happening, why he was feeling like this. The closer he inched to the bathroom, the more anxious he felt.

Merely inches away from the door. He felt queasy, chest heaving and struggling to breath. There was nothing for him to be so nauseous and tense of, he felt that his fears were irrational and he was right. So why was he still feeling this if he knew it wasn't real? A gut feeling perhaps? Maybe his body was warning his mind of something it was yet to notice.

The last time he had a feeling like this was when Tord came back, or at least a couple of hangouts later after he came back... Wait.

Tord???

Tord.

No. It can't be. That's not possible. He was gone and he was never coming back...unless?

...

Unless he came back for him. Yes, yes that's it... He came back to apologize.

To make up for destroying everything. He's here to stay forever.... with him.

...

Yes, that's it. This explains the butterflies...his thoughts. How could he be so blind? This was the missing link! It was Tord! And he was finally back again, the real him.

Edd panicked the longer he stayed there at the door, his head full of thoughts of how this was all gonna go, and how he should react. Should he be happy, sad, or angry? How would Tord react? Would he be happy too? The more he thought of it the more of a wreck he was, shaking, breath ragged, sweating.

He finally reached for the doorknob with his sweaty palm, twisting the knob... he slowly opened it...

He couldn't hear any movement, no breathing. The bathroom was full of eery silence, and it only made Edd more anxious.

Finally gathering the courage to open the door, he swung it open enough for him to have a whole view of the bathroom, and there...

... was nothing.

Edd desperately looked around the bathroom, trying to find anything that was odd. If the shower curtain had moved 3 inches to the left if the window was opened by a little if the toilet seat had always been closed... but nothing

Tord was never there... and he never will be.

He looked to the ground and saw something knocked down on the floor.

It was a translucent orange bottle, his prescription for his schizophrenia.

[mahaibrahim13]

🍉🍉 This cold water has become a dream for us in light of these difficult circumstances, hot weather, and living in tents in high temperatures. A liter of this water costs $25. Please donate to help me and my family.🥺🌞💦😫😫🥵

https://gofund.me/2adde3d1

@fairuzfakhira @sayruq @longlivepalestina @nabulsi @self-hating-zionist @thenewgothicromance @el-shab-hussein @risoria @paliperidone @palestine @intersectionalpraxis @fallahifag @sealuai @malcriaada @mangocheesecakes @youdontknowwhothisisokay-blog @farcillesbian @stil-l @apsswan @star-and-space-ace @rainbowywitch @marscoponie @oursapphirestar @annoyingloudmicrowavecultist @boyvandal-blog @the-bastard-king @13ag21k @agentfascinateur @schoolhater

@90-ghost @arianagrandetights @northgazaupdates2 @gaza-j

@aria-ashryver @ibtisams

@appsa

[neuroticboyfriend]

hey psychotics and other insane (/pos) friends

[chadillacboseman]

Summary: Jesse suffers from a rage-induced blackout that makes his company take a hit. TWs for blood and death.

--

Jesse Geller wakes, eyes blinking, bleary, as his vision adjusts in the dim light of his bedroom. He has no recollection of how he got here, his memory a gaping black hole that swallows the moments after he’d flown into a rage the day before.

“Fuck,” he rolls over and his feet hit the floor as his hand comes to run through his hair.

Jesse’s bedroom is in disarray and there’s a new hole in the drywall that he’s sure matches the shape of his fist. Sure enough, when he glances down, the knuckles of his right hand are bloodied and torn. He runs his tongue over his teeth, the copper aftertaste of old blood collecting on his tongue as he stares at the destruction he wrought in his blackout state.

He tries to conjure the memory in his head. Their latest contract had refused to pay, something about not delivering on time. He massages his temples as he remembers the blood, how it had come up to his elbows- but why?

Jesse feels for his phone in the bed, fingers closing around the hard plastic case as he brings it into view and punches in his pass code. 17 missed calls. He sighs and tosses it back onto the sheets, choosing to ignore whatever storm he left in his wake for now.

The air conditioner kicks to life in the window and he shivers, only now realizing he’s shirtless. He casts a glance downward and finds the discarded garment; when he lifts it to eye level, he frowns at the blood that stains it, crumpling it into a stiff mockery of tie-dye.

There’s a brief flash of a memory at the sight of it- a man’s head strikes the concrete floor, he can feel the hit reverberate into his hand and up his arm. Someone grabs his shoulder and he shrugs it off, eyes solely focused on fear in the face he’s looking down into.

Jesse rises and makes his way to the bathroom, now noticing the soreness that throbs in his arms and chest. He flips on the light and stares at his reflection in the mirror over the sink; his deep-set eyes are bloodshot and haloed by dark circles, piercing from above the five o’clock shadow that has sprouted to life along the lower half of his face.

He turns on the faucet, as hot as he can get it, and begins to scrub his hands, watching as the dried blood flecks away and circles the drain. The water burns, but he keeps his hands there until they’re raw, red and swollen, before he pulls them out and dries them.

Jesse retrieves a clean shirt from his dresser and shrugs it on, wincing at the pain in his right arm as it slips through the garment. Behind him, he hears his phone ring to life, vibrating loudly from somewhere in the tangle of blankets.

He fumbles for it for a moment before bringing the speaker to his ear, “Hello?” his voice is hoarse, like boots crunching on fine gravel.

“Commander...” he can’t even tell who it is on the other end, “Uh, the boys got the briefing room cleaned up, but the financier is asking questions.”

“So? Answer ‘em.”

“You want me to tell them what happened?” there’s a fear in the voice, but he’s not sure if it’s of him or of the consequences they might face.

“Tell ‘em not to withhold my money and they won’t get their skull caved in.”

He hangs up before the other man can respond.

Jesse eyes the orange bottle of pills on his nightstand, pausing for a moment with his hand hovering, poised to grab it. The label reads ‘PALIPERIDONE’ in large letters with his name toward the bottom. He swallows, hard, and decides against it, instead pivoting to retrieve a clean pair of jeans, which he slips on and follows with socks and boots.

He slings his plate carrier on over the top of his shirt, tightening the straps and rapping his knuckles on the ceramic plating under the fabric. Meticulously, he loads the vest with his rifle clips and .50 cal rounds. Next, he slides his pistol into the MOLLE holster at his side and clips his radio receiver high on the shoulder strap.

Jesse spares another glance at the pills, feeling a lump form in his throat. Jason would kill him if he were still alive, would berate him for hours on end for not keeping up with his medication. His lip curls into a snarl the longer he stares at the taunting orange bottle. He hates the way the pills make his head ache and his heart race. Hates the way he could sleep for days every time he takes them.

Still, his brother’s voice grates in his mind.

“Ya gotta take the pills, J, or they’re gonna kick you out.”

“I don’t like the man I see when you don’t take ‘em.”

Jesse shakes his head and tears his eyes from the bottle before heading out the door and into the living room. A bloody hand print adorns the wall near the entry to the kitchen, smeared where he had stumbled and tried to catch himself. Slowly, he tries to retrace his steps as he pieces together the things that are out of place in his environment.

Chairs are toppled over in the kitchen, and his jacket is crumpled carelessly by the door, which looks as if he may have kicked it in the night prior. His rifle, though, is leaned neatly against the cabinets by the fridge- at least he had enough sense to take care of one thing. He retrieves the gun by the sling and brings it over his shoulder as he pushes through the splintered front door.

Jesse makes his way to the garage and climbs into his jeep, bringing the engine to life and jolting when the radio blasts at full volume, scrambling for the knob to turn it down. His steering wheel is caked with dried blood that he brushes at, watching as flakes of dark red patter to his lap and the floor of the vehicle.

Beside him, his stainless steel flask is laid out, empty, on the passenger seat, and he can smell the vodka that had to have spilled in his blacked out state. His phone vibrates on the center console and he glances down to see a text from his second in command.

“Financier wants to speak with you. Directly.”

Jesse sneers at the phone. Of course Dzhokharov wants to talk to him, probably assumes he can threaten him out of the money he’s rightfully fucking owed. Maybe he’ll put a bullet between the worthless Chechen’s eyes and call it a fucking day. He pulls out of the garage and speeds down the boulevard, attention focused on the previous night, trying desperately to recall what happened.

It doesn’t come to him.

He strikes the steering wheel in frustration and leans over to dig in the glove compartment for his cigarettes, eyes staying on the road as he fumbles blindly. His hand settles on the red and white pack and he retrieves it, pulling a single cigarette out and bringing it to his mouth. His lighter flares to life and he inhales until the tobacco is burning, glowing orange with each puff.

Red Claw’s compound looms into view, a hulking, yet unassuming steel building encircled by a razor wire-topped fence. He flashes a grin at the gate guard and is waved through, bringing the vehicle to the parking garage.

A flashy black SUV is parked crookedly, butted up next to the building, and he knows it belongs to Dzhokharov. He sucks his teeth as he parks next to the blacked out vehicle, throwing the transmission into park and exiting, careful not to let his door strike the SUV next to him.

His second meets him at the top of the garage stairs, his face pulled into a hard line of worry. Jesse cocks his head as the man struggles to find his words, impatience and anger building in his gut the longer the exchange drags on.

“He’s waiting for you, 3rd floor conference room.”

Jesse offers a quiet ‘mhmm’ before pushing past his second and further up the stairs. Sure enough, Dzhokharov is seated at the large, wooden table in the 3rd floor conference room, fingers laced as he stares blankly at the wall. He’s tall, at least 6’2, with a receding hairline and a wide nose set over thin lips.

“Heard you got somethin’ to say to me,” Jesse stands in the doorway, arms folded across his chest.

“I do,” the Chechen turns in his seat and his wolfish eyes fall on the mercenary, “I hear that you killed one of my men.”

“Sure did.”

“Why?”

“Didn’t pay me,” Jesse shrugs, his eyes never leaving Dzhokharov’s face.

“And you always kill people who don’t pay you?”

“When they piss me off, yeah.”

The Chechen pauses for a moment, brown eyes unwavering as they rake over Jesse’s form. They’ve both been in standoffs like this before- unstoppable force, meet immovable object. The mobster is on Jesse’s turf, now, and he knows there’s no fucking way he’s walking out of this building without paying.

The tension tightens, pulled taut like a rope between the two of them. Dzhokharov senses that the situation may not work in his favor, reaching into his pocket for a rolled wad of $100 bills. Jesse leaves the doorway and prowls to the head of the table, his eyes shining like a predator.

“I’ll pay you, Geller,” the Chechen murmurs, his mouth set in a hard line, “But we will not be asking for your services again.”

“Boo fuckin’ hoo,” Jesse snarls as he holds out his hand out to accept the cash, “No loss for us.”

It will be a loss, but he’ll never admit it.

Dzhokharov hands him the bills and he snatches them from his grip before stuffing them into his vest. Jesse cocks his head and smiles, sharklike, as the Chechen rises from his seat and backs toward the door.

“You know somethin’?” Jesse takes a step forward as he speaks, “Your man died beggin’. Thought you hired harder than that."

He has no fucking idea if the statement is true or not, but regardless, it strikes a cord.

The other man says nothing, suddenly acutely aware of the hungry expression on the commander’s face. Why he came alone, he has no fucking idea. Jesse is nothing like his brother- there’s no life behind his cold, dead eyes as he closes the distance. It's not about the money anymore, not really, it's about power, about the fear he wields as a weapon.

“You can burn us all you want, but one day, I bet your enemies'll come knockin’,” Jesse murmurs with a smirk.

“Wonder how big their bank roll is?”

[ericleo108]

CosmicLuve.com December 2023 - Deer

Necessary prerequisite posts:

108 The Story of Discovering Earth’s Consciousness (book)

Sentientism 2022

Cosmic Love Feb 2020 - Emma Watson

Cosmic Love April 2022: Cary Charlotte or Mary

Cosmic Luve July 2023 - The Main Thing

Cosmic Luve Aug 2023 - Orange

Cosmic Luve Sept 2023 - Bam

Cosmic Luve November 2023 - Cosmic Bros

This post’s intro builds off the semantics from the cosmic luve entries “Bam” and “Cosmic Bros” but the semantics for this month are all new, and all surround Emma Watson (again). I keep up this blog to show how semantic coincidences I see as meaningful could be a communication from Gaia, which is another name for the Earth’s conscious and godly spirit. 

The basic theory is that Gaia can communicate through telepathic randonauting and “points of realization.” In other words, it’s thought that the Earth is conscious due to it’s magnetism that gives her the ability to read your thoughts and highlight cognition which affects your behavior. It’s postulated that Gaia would manifest her communications through signals of loving intent especially between romantic partners. She would basically have to use humans and animals as a canvas to paint her communication over the collective ethos which would manifest by groups of individuals acting out their (gaia) affected cognition. 

The basis of this is described in my book “108 The Story of Discovering Earth’s Consciousness” which breaks down the science and evidence behind my reasoning and why I came to this conclusion. In the sentientism posts on the blog I take the science and knowledge of this a step further into the belief that Gaia is already conscious and communicating and ask: “What would that look like?” Then, this cosmic luve log is my attempt at showing you all that from my experience and how the voice in my head predicts the future and manipulates my environment in the ways aforementioned. 

Where we Left off

I guess I should have waited longer to publish the last post because a couple new semantics popped up that day that directly related to the main theme of the last post. I’ve seen the video of Pattie Gonia holding up the signs of exposing Big Oil Tycoons as criminals before… but I forgot to log it. I made a tweet about it and about how I came across it on the day I published the November 2023 post and (eventually) apologized to Gaia for missing her communication. The next day, Philip DeFranco did another segment on the protests of Just Stop Oil. 

New Coincidences

It all started December 9th, 2023 when I went to Three Rivers to see a friend and shoot three one-take music videos on the train tracks. They are posted and include “Yeah We Bang” “I Got You” and “Paliperidone” which is embedded above. In the December 10th Sunday update I talked about Emma Watson as a dear. Quick explanation, there was a deer that stopped in the middle of the train tracks while I was filming the second video which was “Paliperidone.” This is cosmic luve because right as I’m filming the deer I say “Gaia’s force,” then a little later I say “here’s the tale” as the deer runs away showing it’s tail, and (at the time) Emma’s Instagram profile picture was the mother deer from Bambi.

In the December 10th Sunday update I also talk about how “in twilight while taking a nap during the day the other day and Gaia said to make a (mystical) tree an anchor that she could build upon so I tweeted it to make it official.” Here is the tweet about the tree. I mentioned how “I made a tweet back on October 1st about how I would get $500 from my music “in the next 100 days”. Well I got the $500 but it didn’t come from music. It was access money I had basically.” Here is the tweet I made on October 1st. I also logged in the update that Gaia said I would meet Hailee Steinfeld in two years. 

On December 11th I uploaded the Paliperidone One Take music video to Youtube. On the night of December 12th, Jimmy Fallon revealed the 9th box ‘til Christmas day’ sweater and it was a deer. Also on the night of December 12th Taraji P Henson was on Steven Colbert promoting the movie she was in which was  “The Color Purple.” In the interview Taraji talk about how they shot the movie around a big oak tree (recalling what Gaia told me in twilight).  The movie clip in the show is about recognizing god’s love.

On October 13 “Cosmic live brownies” dropped. I made a couple posts asking my ig audience why Emma Watson's profile picture is the deer from Bambi. On December 14 Emma changed her profile picture to a British vogue shot and lil dicky dropped mr McAdams the same day. Do you think this is Gaia making fun of me using Emma as a vessel? I think she is. On that day I also thought about the song “Do-Re-Me” from Sound of Music which I think relates especially with Emma being tied to the sun poem. That night Oprah made an appearance on Stephen Colbert wearing all purple. 

On December 15th Gaia compelled me to make the tweet saying “Gaia says “you’ll hand a girlfriend in three weeks.”” I still don’t know what that’s about, we’ll see… On December 18th the Urban Rescue Ranch talks about “charlottes web” at 6:50 and how the spider is protecting Patrick, who I think is a type of African or Australian deer, from flies. I just want to say, this is how Emma’s cat semantics developed that I talk about in the book, the difference is the semantics were a lot more frequent and consistent because I had a cat. The problem was I hadn’t developed my theory of Gaia’s system (ie, knhoeing, sentientism, and cosmic luve) yet. 

This will be a pivotal post because it’s all about Emma Watsan, and draw together semantics from the previous trope. Listen to “Hey Emma” and “Be my dream” for music about Emma Watson. “Charlotte’s Web,” the last remake from ‘The Chalice Mixtape’ drops on Emma’s birthday April 15 2024. 

I am now using threads to document cosmic Luve coincidences so future logs will link to threads to document the prophecies instead of ‘X.'

[zebulontheplanet]

Hi can I ask if you take invega/paliperidone ? I recently started the med and, even if you don't can still relate to your post about feeling fuzzy in the brain because of it. Is hope you adjust soon !

Hi! I’m actually not. I’m taking vraylar. It’s a good med, but I just upped the dosage with my psych and now it’s just making me have some bad side effects.

I’m pretty prone to side effects. Thanks for the ask! I hope the side effect goes away with you.

[rustedskyprisms]

I got misdiagnosed with psychosis back in 2019 because this dumbass counselor I met with misunderstood my description of my OCD symptoms. The only time I’ve ever been close to that point, funnily enough, came from side effects from an antipsychotic (Invega/paliperidone).

[expfcultragreen]

Whatever it is, entities or whatever, one thing that has worked for me is showing them who's boss by taking the toy away: if youre drugged up so much on antipsychotics (eg paliperidone) that your brain is all different and you cant really hear them and youre super boring and unhappy in your monotonous daily behavior for a while, they get more conservative in their approach and you can live a functional life when you go off the drugs again (theyre bad for you to be on longterm), even doing recreational drugs and staying out late etc. Ymmv, my one friend tried going off the antipsychotics theyre on because i kept attributing their malaise and general ongoing physical illness to the drugs being highly toxic but their brain went right back to its old tricks and they wanted the edge taken off so they re-upped their antipsychotic dosage

(I havent ruled out the theory that "the illuminati" is a cult of people who do this to people on purpose remotely using their psychic know-how

Another possibility is that its some horrible contrivance of the karmic system and when people are angry at you for good reason it manifests as a free pass for ghosts to go after you, and these ghosts might even be the timetravelling souls of the currently undeceased

Alternately, maybe sometimes a ghost finds us cute and amswers our prayer for companionship in whatever form we desire, but you have to know thats whats happening and not bug the actual person because "fuck off crazy" is kind of bonerkiller

Do NOT discount the idea that this is all caused by contemporaneous evil wizards taking your destruction upon themselves personally with the highest level of plausible deniability possible. I have literally had my mind read word for word irl. I used to test whether people would hear it if i tried to say thing in their heads, like strangers on the street, and they sometimes reacted like i spoke out loud)

Trazadone should also be otc btw so people can really sleep as regularly as they need to even while psychotic

Ive kept my treated tapwater intake higher irregularly since being hospitalized and i think the flouride IS useful insomuch as it makes you harder to get to

[02nd]

I'm on 100mg of paliperidone because my mommy made me crazy

[nightfallsupon]

Letter I wrote to the 'doctor' in 2018. They did not listen, clearly.

...

“When a flower doesn't bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.”

I believe it is society and your profession that is broken, damaged, callous, judgmental, stigmatising, pathologising, and trauma inducing.  

And whereas the drugs you enforce on me may have helped me in the short term to block everything out, they have also made me most deeply unhappy and in incredible pain long term.

I’m sorry that you cannot see from my perspective, that your labels induce only pain for many people, including me, when you are so fixated on your medical model of jargon and belief that you know so much better than me because you are trained in psychiatry and the terminology, language and fixation on stigmatising labels you produce. I am not saying you in particular are like this, because I do not know you. But from my experience of psychiatrists they believe they know better than you, and they put you down by saying you lack insight because you disagree with the cruel and hurtful and damaging label they place upon your body, mind and spirit. My opinion is that you lack insight as to the reasons, and cause of my behaviour, because you have never really listened and heard the words that have come from my mouth. And because I am much better at expressing myself through writing then talking. Which is something you should understand. I have no one to stand up for me, so it is up to my to stand up for myself. And the most difficult thing in this is your lack of belief for my state of mind being able to make informed decisions for myself. So basically I am not allowed to decide what happens to my body because you say I, for lack of a better word, am too ‘crazy’ to make my own decisions. 

I am longing for autonomy and credibility that you do not allow me. And the very nature of this wrecks me inside out, every single day. I am in so much physical and spiritual pain from the drugs injected into me every month, and your profession’s only thought is that these are helping me to be tame, to be well, to be normal.

I recognise that I have made desperate and bad decisions in the past which I obviously still feel terrible about, but I don’t believe I should be constantly reminded of these and that they should be held over me for a lifetime, let alone years. I should be allowed a fresh start, the very thing your profession refuses to offer - HOPE, with your constant notes and negative analysis. It has been seven years since this began, and shockingly I make my own decisions in life. I chose to make bad decisions in the past, and this will never happen again. Even prisoners get a chance at rehabilitation and starting over. The mental health system holds your mistakes over you for a lifetime. 

You need to understand that you see yourself as helping me, but I see the hurt you place in my heart. The wreckage you do to my body and spirit. If you really wanted to help me, you would not expect me to just lay out my traumas on the table, with a massive lack of empathy from the majority of psychiatrists I have ‘worked’ with in my past. This is my body, this is my life, and I am asking you for a chance to make informed decisions on my OWN body. I am hurting deeply, and I cannot exist within a healthy and happy life, unless there is a change. The state of my life is as if I was a curtain who a person was clinging to with their full body weight, waiting for the dragging to fall. I don’t want to feel this way anymore, and I believe I should be given the opportunity and chance to go on oral medication. This would increase my joy for life so, so much more. I am currently finding my life unbearable on paliperidone right now. I don’t want to go on living if this is the way it is going to be from now on. I would rather die than continue on in this vane. I want the chance to be happy again, and if you cannot offer me hope that I do not have to continue having needles stuck into me and that I can regain some control over how I take my medication than I may as well give up now. I’m getting to the end of my tether, and I am so tired of fighting for the right to autonomy when few ever listen to me. It is cruel what has been done to me, and what is still being done to me, and I want to wake up in the morning without feeling horror and fear and deep sadness at what is being done to me. 

I have been reading about the effects of being on paliperidone, and I know it has been proven to cause infertility. I want to have a baby in the near future and I am so afraid of what this has done to my body, and what it may do if I remain on it. No doctor tells you this when they put you on this drug, and personally I believe it is akin to chemical sterilisation. It puts a deep fear in me and is very traumatic to have to undergo a needle stuck in me every month when I know the very real effects of what it could be doing to my body. How can this be acceptable to enforce me to take such a drug when it could make me infertile. How inhumane could you be? Even pedophiles are not chemically sterilised. I certainly don’t deserve such treatment. How can you strip my ability to be a mother from me and still sleep at night?   

Of course I can admit that I have experienced what you like to term ‘psychosis,’ in the past, but your labels and the way you operate with coercion does not help me, it just increases my trauma and ptsd every time you put me back in hospital. If you want to truly help me, then you will at very least try to understand my experience of the mental health system, and the extreme hurt I have felt throughout it by many different psychiatrists and drugs. A fact I have recently read is that if you experience five types of adversity in your life, you are over 190 more times likely to experience psychosis. So why doesn’t the majority of your profession believe in healing trauma based wellness?

The truth is my body has been a tool for men multiple times to get what they wanted. The truth is I have felt incredible pain in my life from many traumatic events that changed me as a person, and left lasting effects for decades. If you honestly believe that these events did not create in me unsteady reactions to fear and life in general, then you do not understand what it is to experience the things I have experienced. My behaviour is a product of my past, not a birthright. There is no such thing as chemical imbalance in the brain. You cannot even test for it. And if you keep telling people they will have to live with this illness for the rest of their life, then you are stealing hope from us. You need to see there is hope, and you need to realise this is only possible if the people who surround the person, who is suffering with how to deal with life and society and all the hurt that surrounds it, believe they can heal, and give them what THEY need to do so. Whether that is talking through what they have been through, or finding alternative therapies. Not just medication, the only medical model you seem to know.  

My body is a temple, and I have researched the damage anti psychotics can do to your body long and short term. I know that they shrink the brain and I know that they can cause memory loss and even dementia later in life, and even you would say you are unaware of the lasting effects they will do to my body and mind. This has never been spoken about, just pushed under the rug, another thing that your profession deems unnecessary to speak about. 

I’m not saying I want to come completely off of them, because that would be dangerous for my body, and mind, considering the side effects and withdrawal from coming off these drugs. But I would like to go on oral medication, as we have already tapered down the paliperidone considerably after working with Zoe, who had an open mind in helping me through this. I cannot remain within this damaging state of existence I now live in with the constant fear and pain of needles and massive side effects to my body and spirit from this drug. I have begun clenching my teeth while I sleep, my body’s way of dealing with the stress, and hurt I am under living this way. I also suffer from a loss in sexual feeling, a constant incredible unliveable pressure in my forehead, akathisia, memory loss, migraines, huge weight gain which I have to work so hard at the gym every week just to keep off, low blood pressure, when I stand up I get dizzy, which I never used to experience, I mean the list goes on. 

The power you have over me and my life is immense, and my belief is that this power balance is inhibiting and tilted in your favour with your qualifications and regard as a recognised psychiatrist. I have been through some rough times in the past, and I know your paramount is taking my safety into consideration, but you are prioritising risk management over my health. Risk management; so cold, inhumanly placid, and calculating. I believe I am able to heal, I don’t believe this will stay with me for life, if I am able to find the right help and ways of dealing with my past trauma. I don’t believe your labels are correct, and you can call me lacking insight for saying this because that is your easiest point of call, not having to deal with and confront the truth that your education is hurting me, but the reality is I am the only one who knows what it is to live within my body. And only I am able to change my behaviour and my mind. Only I have the right to decide what I believe. You are welcome to your beliefs, but the words that you write, and the actions that you take, should never be to enforce these beliefs onto me. To say I lack insight, because I do not believe what you believe, well I didn’t think we lived in a dictatorship, but that is my experience of how your profession operates. And for you to take control of my body because I do not believe what you believe, well that is incredibly unjust. Just because within society, psychiatry is the first point of call, does not mean this is correct, and does certainly not mean what you have learnt, is helpful to every person on earth. Fifty years ago, people were still using straight jackets, and that was a common route of accepted reaction to people who behaved a little different than normalised society. And of course straight jackets are now considered utterly cruel and inhumane. Things clearly change, and I don’t believe the world will always accept what you dictate to your subjects. Because I have hope that people will see the real damage you are creating within so many people through every single psychiatric term that spills out of your mouth. Can you not see the hurt I carry with me from your words and your behaviour which treats me as a human test subject in a cage. I was treated like a human pinball machine when I was last in hospital. Told by the doctor he wanted to make me more quote ‘animated,’ because I was happier in my room escaping to the internet on my phone alone, because I did not feel comfortable in those hospital walls dealing with the obvious analysis so clearly engrained in the fabric of your imprisoned hospital system. You need to find the love in your heart, because only love, kindness, empathy and understanding are capable of healing a person at the very end of the day. 

I hope, I pray, that you are not like the rest of them. I really do. 

[pxxppet]

Making Happy (Part 2)

Teeth AU Chapter 3

Jameson get some psychiatric help, but it leaves him with lots to process.

‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿

The psychiatrist barely looks him in the eye the entire appointment, and Jameson finds himself wishing desperately she had let Henrik in. He has to write in a little notebook rather than sign.

"Do you hear or see things that others do not?" Her voice is so clinical. She clicks a pen repeatedly, eyeing the clock. Jameson points to 'rarely' on the page before him. It has happened occasionally, when he does see anything at all that is. Why did she ask a blind man this, again?

"Do you not trust what you think is real?"

His hand hesitates the movement. That seems to be true every single day this past while. 'Often.'

"Do you sense that others might be controlling you? Your thoughts or actions, such as."

Jameson shifts on the uncomfortable grey chair. Someone was for a long time. How would he not? 'Very often.'

"Do you struggle to keep up with daily living, such as showers or cleaning?"

'Often.'

"Do you feel like you have powers that other people can't understand?"

Yes, always, ever since he was born. 'Never.'

"Do you have trouble organizing or keeping track of your thinking?"

'Often.'

"Are you struggling with maintaining your social relationships?"

Constantly. 'Rarely.'

"Do you feel like you're being followed or tracked?"

Static, static, louder the farther from the house he moves. 'Often.'

"Do people have trouble guessing the emotion on your face?"

Jameson's face has been dead aside from forced-looking smiles the entire day. 'Often.'

She regards him at last, looking him over. "Your hands are stiff, your face is emotionless, and you seem to have some odd thinking. I'll start you on paliperidone, a newer medication, and I'll prescribe benzodiazepine limitedly for those freezing up episodes you mentioned. I'll need to observe you in a few other appointments, and get a lab work-up before I'll officially diagnose you and prescribe refills."

And with that it's over; he's standing outside the quickly closed door. Must be lunch time. Henrik comes running from the waiting area, but is halted by the front desk worker. She, at least, seems to pity them, because she sighs and concedes to let him by once she glances back and sees how wobbly on his legs Jameson is. Henrik rushes up to him and offers him his arm. Jameson gratefully accepts.

"How are you feeling?" Henrik mumbles.

"Tired" JJ responds honestly. He brushes across the long hair laying across the back of his neck. "Need to go home."

Henrik smirks. "You'll be as long as Marvin soon if you don't let someone cut your hair." He guides Jameson along to their car on his arm, helping him buckle in, then getting into the driver's seat.

As they drive, JJ keeps his cheek pressed to the cool window. Summer will be over soon and the days are growing colder. He watches the pinpoint spot of colours rush by in the black. Anti used to cut his hair. A razor to the sides and scissors to the top, always matching their hair in a trendy long-on-top-short-on-sides style. Their outfits always looked at least similar, aside from the days he would play dress-up and put him in vests and ties like the day he was born. Jameson closes his eyes, sighing out against the glass. He's overgrown and dressed in the clothes of Anti's enemies. He feels like there's a hairball in his throat, the quiet static coming closer as their home becomes visible in the distance.

Marvin is on the couch as Henrik leads JJ through the door. Henrik starts and glances at them, waiting for yelling or disgust on their face. Instead Marvin just gives them a welcoming nod, and immediately focuses intensely on the T.V. Henrik blinks, but then JJ is tapping him to question why they've stopped. He whispers a 'sorry', then leads him to his bedroom.

Henrik walks back into the room and balks at his sibling. "Going to tell me some earth-shattering secret as to why you are not mad at him still?"

Marvin snorts. "Fuck off, doc, it's nothing like that. I just… sort of realised how much of an ass I was being after even Chase scolded me. It's my own fucking issues, I shouldn't put the shit about Jack on the kid's shoulders, is all."

"Wow, my big sibling, actually admitting to their faults. Did I travel to another universe this past week?"

Marvin shoots him a scandalized look and Henrik laughs aloud. He trods to the sofa and plops beside them, snuggling into their shoulder. Marvin hugs him back, and Henrik knocks their heads together softly. "Welcome back to yourself, my friend."

---

Jameson sits among the gold. He's crying, he has been for the past 30 minutes. He brought a beaded bracelet he made with Chase and one of the muffins Henrik brought him yesterday to the grave with him, gifts for his brother. Before the crying began he had wound the bracelet around the stick below the carving. There, now it actually sticks out in his fumbling darkness. He set the muffin by the stick, like an offering to the distant gods.

He brushes his fingers over the carved name over and over as he cries, letting the name fill his head. Anti, Anti, Anti. Brother, master, captor; all of these things at once. He wonders how Anti saw him. Was he a brother? A possession? Does it even matter now that it's over, a long long time ago? Chilled wind slides across his wet cheeks as he cups his hands over his trembling mouth, rocking in the dirt and flowers. He loves him. Jameson doesn't think he'll ever stop loving him. But Anti hurt him badly. The psychiatrist's blunt words roll in his mind over and over. The questions and how broken they made him feel. It's all his brother's fault - his captor's fault. The damage is forever.

Jameson brushes tear-soaked hair out of his face. If he cuts it, he is terrified of looking like Anti's brother again. But don't Jackie and Henrik have similar hair? Wouldn't he look like them, too? Doesn't he just look like Jack, at the end of it? When did this face become so painful? He used to love that Anti dressed like him and cut his hair. He used to love the small similarities that reassured him Anti loves him. He stares through the black at the colourful beads, and finds himself wondering if Anti can see him, wherever he is. If Anti is laughing at how goofy and childish the beads look on a grave. A small laugh bubbles out through his tears. Anti, Anti, Anti, chants his mind. My stupid big brother.

He cries until the sun begins to set, eventually slumping to the ground half asleep, watching the world darken til his vision is useless.

Jackie walks out around 8 p.m. and finds him dozing off. His heart aches, and with guilty hands he lifts JJ to his chest, carrying him back to the house. Jackie puts him into his bed, but cannot bring himself to leave the room. He ends up curled across the foot of the bed as Jameson sleeps.

Jameson wakes while it's still dark, and finds Jackie in the same place. He could see that bright maroon hoodie in any darkness he faced, he thinks. He rolls the quilt and sheets down, tucking them across Jackie's back. With a smile he can't quite place, he gets up to shower and make tea, leaving the hero to get some well-deserved rest.

[rafal-sulikowski]

Atlantyda i Einstein

Paliperidon poprawił mi w dwa tygodnie koncentrację i skupienie uwagi. Mogę znowu czytać. Teraz wziąłem na warsztat bestseler Clive'a Cusslera "Atlantyda odnaleziona", fikcję, ale podpartą solidnymi faktami z prehistorii. Coś w rodzaju powieściowej "teorii spiskowej", które jak wiemy, nie zawsze są błędne. Cieszę się z tego. Poza tym paliperidon sprawił, że znowu mogę oglądać "Netflixa" i oglądnąłem film "Einstein i bomba", dokument, gdzie autorzy zastanawiają się czy słynne równanie E=mc2, definiujące związek między energią a materią, mogło przyczynić się do wymyślenia bomby atomowej przez USA, która użyła jej do zniszczenia dwóch japońskich miast. Ta tragedia jest w USA i w Japonii wypierana ze zbiorowej świadomości. W kontekście tego, co dzieje się w Rosji, jest niemal pewne, że dojdzie do trzeciego użycia tej broni. Może ":tylko" taktycznej, czyli mniejszej, ale zniszczenia będą straszne, jak w Czarnobylu z 1986 roku. W każdym razie Einstein po detonacjach broni do końca życia miał głębokie poczucie nic. Rzadkie wśród naukowców, choć Darwin ponoć też chciał się wstrzymać z opublikowaniem swej teorii ewolucji, bo sam wierzył w Boga, a ponadto nie chciał dołować wierzących. Opublikował w 1859 roku "O powstawaniu gatunków drogą doboru naturalnego" tylko dlatego, że zjadła go ambicja - ktoś równolegle pracował nad tym tematem, no i Darwin chciał być pierwszy. Tak to bywa. Nauka powstała zdecydowanie nie jako wynalazek chrześcijaństwa, jak si,e nas uczyło, lecz w potężnej kontrze do wiary religijnej. Naukowcy od XVII wieku do II połowy XX wieku chcieli po prostu wszystko wyjaśnić naturalnie i bez udziału Boga. Zrobili to. Wierzącym pozostało tylko jeszcze pytanie, kto lub co spowodowało "Wielki Wybuch" oraz natura ludzkiej "duszy". Poza tym wszystko zostało już niestety wyjaśnione naturalnie. I tu jest pies pogrzebany, bo ludzie jeszcze nie są gotowi, aby przyswoić sobie obraz nowego porządku świata. Istnieje nawet koncepcja "życia po śmierci bez Boga" - faktycznie w myśl tej hipotezy jest "coś" po śmierci organizmu i ciała, ale nie ma nic wspólnego z tradycyjnymi wierzeniami. Umrzemy, zobaczymy. A książkę i film bardzo polecam.

[riverthylacine]

Paliperidone my beloved

[biotech-news-feed]

Paliperidone palmitate depot suspension for injection (every 3 months) 175, 263, 350 and 525 mg product-specific bioequivalence guidance #BioTech #science