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#parents is and it sucks but there is nothing I can do about it and it happens to everyone it just happened earlier for me
vigilskeep · 1 day
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do you have any refs for Minerva’s relationship with the other dao companions? I did not realize she and leliana was estranged 😭 also if im remembering correctly she makes loghain do the dark ritual? sorry I do like spinning her around in my head and knowing the little details she’s such a great character!!
leliana and minerva did not have a clear breakup in the alistair minerva sense but they did grow apart because of the simple reason that post dao minerva becomes politically at odds with the chantry while leliana is serving its leader. leliana is not a type of person minerva finds very easy to like or trust so while they did grow on each other over the course of dao they never had a simple friendship in the first place
alistair you probably know about bc its kind of the cornerstone of minervaposting but theres a post fully explaining it not much further down in her tag
zevran is her romance <3 i hesitate to use the word “soulmates” exactly but they definitely fit together in a way no other minerva pairing could match
morrigan she has a weird close complicated vaguely homosexual friendship with, i’m sure this is par for the course for f!wardens. they probably could have been in love if morrigan had been willing to pursue it in the start and if minerva hadn’t already gone for someone else by the end, and all that is unspoken but very present in everything about them
sten is i guess kind of the typical high approval relationship as presented in game? not much more unique. a lot of respect a lot of arguing a lot of dry humour. they could hang out in silence comfortably and they’re also both know and respect that they’re very capable of killing the other if their greater purposes ever demand it
oghren she kind of doesn’t pay much mind in origins when she doesn’t have to but he becomes part of the family in awakening. they bond over having their insane shared experiences of the blight, and also over him trying to quit drinking and her trying to quit blood magic which leads to some really wild out of context conversations for the others. and hey, eventually over first attempting to parent at similar times
wynne she has a bit of a sharp relationship with. i think this could vary a lot if i pick her up earlier, but in my main minerva playthrough i picked her up late by which time minerva had absolutely no fucking interest in getting the kind of lectures she grew up with. sorry grandma </3
uhhhh who else. shale idk man im sorry for being a fake fan but shale’s dlc truly does nothing for me it’s unfunny and i dont think abt it at all 💔 this would be written in less harsh terms if i wasnt sleepy
loghain is. well that’s a kettle of fish. minerva spares him because it happens to be a preferable move for her agenda and her way of thinking, it’s not rlly about him as a person at all. she doesn’t absolve him of anything he did, like, she still thinks he’s a bastard it’s just that she doesn’t really believe at all in the concept of justice being done if it doesn’t serve a purpose. when he’s in the party they do build up respect and a weird kind of friendship. he sucks and she’s bitter about what sparing him cost her, but that isn’t relevant, it’s not going to stop her learning from him, or fighting at his side as the best team she can quickly make them, or simply finding him entertaining to talk to. so by the end it’s as a friend that she asks him to do the dark ritual, whatever that means. post dao she agrees with weisshaupt that him being assigned outside of ferelden is wise but they continue to write to each other extremely regularly, mostly on matters of news and strategy but occasionally on the more personal
is that everyone i think thats everyone
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sunnyaalisse · 15 hours
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Wanna know how to manage anxiety effectively? (I'm a psychologist) Formulate your anxious thoughts in a form of "What Will I Do if X happens?" and then answer as best as you can. You will find that there are 4 main types of situations your anxiety might be asking about: 1) nonsensical, unlikely, useless (WWID if I get kidnapped by a UFO?) 2) rational, predictable (WWID if I get a bad grade?) 3) rational, unpredictable (WWID if I go to a new job and something bad happens?) 4) unpredictable and uncontrolled (WWID if I get attacked on my way home?) Here's how to deal with each type: 1) unlikely, useless, nonsensical? answer it like the person who's asking you this question is a 13 year old child who's trying to annoy you. "that would suck, Timmy, but it sure would make a cool story that I would tell to anybody who would listen if I survived" 2) rational, predictable? make a date with this question. find time to sit down and legitimately think of a plan on what you're going to do. "I'll go talk to the teacher, ask what I can do to improve my grade, then I'll talk to my friends and ask them to explain the topic to me, then I'll talk to my parents and explain the situation if they're interested in hearing about it" 3) rational, unpredictable? you don't have to answer it in a detailed way, just decide on the first few things you will realistically do in any sort of distressful situation. "I'll call my friend and tell them about my situation, then I'll buy myself some ice-cream and figure out my next steps with the help of relevant people, google and determination." 4) uncontrolled? plan for what happens after the part you can't control, once you're in charge again. "I'll call the police, I know where the nearest hospital is, I have my friend's numbers memorised so I'll call them, either way I'll deal with whatever happens once I'm in control" anxiety related to the events that already happened (I said "you too" to the waiter who said "have a good meal") truly means to ask about either the consequences (what if now they think I'm dumb?) or the repeating of the situation (what if I do it again?). you can still reformulate these questions the same way: "WWID if they treat me like I'm stupid next time I'm there?" and "WWID if I say the same thing again, how can I make it charming?" or "WWID to avoid repeating the same situation again, what can I say instead?" anxiety is a mechanism that means to fill the gaps in a person's perception of their future, it seeks clarity, stability, normalcy and control. It doesn't need to clarify IF the situation will happen, it needs to clarify how the situation will be DEALT WITH if it does happen. unanswered "what will I do if..." questions tend to become a broken record because the need for clarity is not fulfilled. more often than not if the needs for clarity and normalcy are fulfilled, anxiety lets up. even questions like "WWID if I die?" can be answered: "if there's an afterlife I'll try to punch god" or "I'll ask if they have soda here" or "if there's no afterlife I'll do nothing, but the world will go on without me, complex, busy and beautiful" also, since anxiety can be caused by physical factors like exhaustion and overuse of caffeine, dealing with these factors could be very helpful. this type of anxiety doesn't come from the mind, it comes from the body, so grilling yourself with questions won't help in this case. rest, nourishment and sleep will do a lot of good though.
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xxgoblin-dumplingxx · 5 hours
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Can we get more wolverine polycule??? Theyre so cute for her
"Way to go, champ," Wade said, kissing your nose. "Knew you could do it, did it feel good?"
"Yeah," you manage, snuggling into the warmth that's offered. Tomorrow you'll be sore. Tomorrow you'll be limping at work and you'll just tell people you tripped on a rug. But that's not a right now problem. Right now you're sleepy and warm, tangled up with two walls of muscle keeping you pinned to the bed.
Behind you, Logan laughed softly and buried his face in your hair, "You did good, Princess. Do you want Ice?"
" 'm okay, Lo," you murmur. But despite your protests, you find yourself laying half ontop of Wade, your head on his shoulder with Logan'warming lotion in his hands.
"Can't have you miserable tomorrow after you fucked us both stupid today," Wade reasoned, stretching lazily as he met Logan's eyes over your head.
They could go again. Few more times. But. They could do that tomorrow while you were at work- it had been... a while since you'd been able to come play with them like this. The pain made you tense and the tension made you think and the thinking only made it worse. The more tense you were, the more painful it was to even have sex. You'd blow them if they wanted, sure but. They liked this. Their girl in their bed. Satisfied and not just sitting on the sidelines.
Logan worked down your back and hips, smirking when you sighed. "That's it, pretty girl," he coaxed. "Took such good care of us-"
"You did most of the work," you point out.
"Soul-sucking blowjobs are work," Wade put in.
"Did so good you shut Wade up. Fucking miracle worker," Logan snorted, popping your backside affectionately.
When you don't answer, from your spot face down on Wade's chest, he pushes hair out of your face and grins, "Out cold," he said.
"Good," Logan rumbled, kissing the back of your neck and pulling a sheet up over you. "Gonna need her beauty sleep." He laid down on your other side and threw his leg over you, effectively pinning both you and Wade in one place- where he'd know if you got up. Where he'd know you were safe.
"Breakfast in the morning?" Wade asked, stretching.
"Sounds good." It was better now. You smelled right. Like them. Tomorrow's problems were tomorrow's problems. Right now, nothing was wrong. The feel of your bodies were imprinted on him properly and it felt right.
_____________
When mottled arms wrapped around him in the shower, Logan hummed, "Where's Y/N?" he asked.
"Showered, dressed, and fucking baby sitting," Wade whined.
"Babysitting?" Logan growled, "What the-"
"For not fucking liking her her sister is really quick to drop off her fuck trophies at the ass crack of dawn," Wade sulked, thudding his head against Logan's back.
Logan growled, "How'd I not hear-"
"She met them downstairs. Kids slept on the couch for a bit while she hosed off all that sweet sweet-"
"So much for breakfast," Logan grunted.
"Yeah. She took them out already. Guess she figured if she fed and walked them they'd be easier to wrangle. Cute kids. Less bitchy than their mom."
Logan snorted. He'd see about that. He also wondered if their parents knew you were fucking BOTH the men you lived with. You tended to avoid telling your family anything you didn't have to.
By the time they were done fucking around, dressed and out of the bedroom, you were back. And in full 'Cool Auntie' mode. Clearly, this might not have been an expected visit, but it didn't take long for Wade and Logan to notice the near hero worship on the faces of the three boys who were sprawled on the furniture and playing with Mary.
"Listen, Homie," you're telling the oldest, "I got you you first date and I have pictures that can ruin your life, don't test me."
"No you don't," he scoffed.
"Oh, oh honey," you laugh, "I took you to your first comic convention dressed as a tiny baby Hulk-"
He visibly paled and you grinned, "I got pictures that can ruin your mama too. So. Try me if you want to but remember. We existed before Life 360."
"Hey, Shush," the middle kid asked, looking up from his phone, "what was it like when dinosaurs roamed the earth?"
Wade snorted when you mimed throwing a plastic cup at him, "I dunno, Peanut, what was it like?"
"Fuck you, Wade."
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purpurussy · 1 month
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#tw suicide#idk i feel like i am probably gonna kms after TIT#i would do it sooner but i asked one of my friends to come with me and it would suck if i made him go alone#and it is something to look forward to which is helping me hang on i guess#but ughhhh once uni starts again in september i know everything is gonna fall apart.#i already got an extension on my thesis due to being a useless shell of a person who can't motivate themselves to do anything atm#but i was supposed to get some work done over the summer and have so far done nothing#hence why i want to kms before i have to talk to my fucking supervisors again and admit yet again that i simply cannot do this 😭#and it's not just this. my executive dysfunction has been so bad over the past couple of years and it's only getting worse#to the point where i can't imagine being able to work at all. and if i can't work i can't get out of my parents house#and then what the fuck is the point.#every time i see someone on here talking about bonding with their parents over dnp I'm like damn what's it like#to have parents who actually want to talk to you DSFGJJKL i know they let me live in their house at my big age#but that's only bc id literally be homeless otherwise and they're not like evil. they just don't love me#also went through a deeply embarrassing breakup recently#tl;dr ive been in love with this person for over a decade and i thought they were the dan to my phil or vice versa.#then after 10 years they left me and i'll spare the details but it has me wondering if they ever loved me#i thought it was a “let's live together and get a cat one day” relationship#but now i feel like for them. it was just a “sex and video games” type situation#i am trying soooo hard to at least be creative bc that makes me happy sometimes but it's hard to not be overly critical of myself#and now im getting to a point where i can barely even find any joy in this space any more. for a bunch of reasons#most of which revolve around me being extremely sensitive. and this is like my last bastion of dopamine so that fucking sucks#idk i don't see the point in my life any more. a social worker actually told me recently that i should consider euthanasia so.#it's just completely over for me i fear#this is not even mentioning all the damn migraines. and all the other ways in which my body simply doesn't work properly#sorry for this weird ass vent I'm not in therapy any more bc i couldn't find a therapist willing to treat me+all my diagnoses at this point#and im scared my friends will stop wanting to talk to me if i talk to them about this. several of them already have#the 2 friends i have left anyway. that's a whole other thing. when they said it's hard for autistic ppl to make friends i took that persona#so uh at this point it's vent here or develop a substance abuse problem. and im already halfway to having a substance abuse problem#anyway dan and phil for the love of god please fucking post something tonight. unfortunately you are my only hope
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obstinatecondolement · 5 months
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I feel bad complaining when I have a roof over my head and don't have to worry about access to electricity, heating, running water and food, but I am so fucking sick of having my disability payment adjusted to account for an additional income stream I haven't had for almost nine months.
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gojuo · 7 months
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fomo on ff7 rebirth hitting hard bc im too busy in life to play games right now + i made a promise to myself to never buy games at full price ever again
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kidrat · 11 months
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what was the point of Golem. like its not as though wildbow thought he Did Something and failed. he just created a character and did nothing with him. guess you could argue that theo is Supposed to be a subversion of a chosen one thing and that him being boring and having no personality or opinions is part of his avoidance deal but like a) then why have him accept jack's challenge in the first place and b) i still do not care. motherfucker was raised by abusive nazis and doesn't even have an opinion on that one way or another CMON NOW go girl give us nothing!!!!!
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misspickman · 2 years
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Ok like jack drake wouldn't be 'kill all queers' type of homophobic but you cannot tell me 90s canonicaly sexist jack drake wouldn't be casually homophobic the way so many people are. Hes the dad who casually drops a slur or makes a shitty joke and insists on it just being a joke if called out. Hes the 'im not homophobic but i dont wanna see that in public' type of guy who gets defensive if you call them homophobic but then says that of course hes glad his kid isnt one of those gays. Its a trend and a phase etc etc you'll grow out of it! Its ok
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dhwty-writes · 25 days
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dreamlogic · 11 months
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quietly getting more & more annoyed at my housemate & her bf as the evening goes on. thought they were at his house this weekend but they showed up unexpectedly to have loud sex here, left for a little bit, came back in the middle of a fight, and are now watching tv really loudly in between continuing to totally-not-fight-everything's-FINE.
#ctxt#shit chat#they're both rly nice people who genuinely love each other a lot & have been together like 7 years#but in the time i've known them they just keep playing out the same maladaptive patterns together and it's painful to watch#one of them will be irritable for some reason and snap at the other; other responds by airing a deep-seated grievance they've been sittin on#and instead of just. having a conflict about it to its conclusion to resolve the issue they just both fall over themselves apologizing#and spend several hours being really touchy & reactive to little things but overwhelmingly gentle/reassuring/affectionate#person A: *snaps* im sorry baby i didn't mean it i'm just stressed i love you so much can i do anything for you?#person B: no no my love you're fine i'm not mad i understand can i do anything for YOU you're so special i care about you so much#*make out in the kitchen about it a bit. swap roles rinse & repeat*#like i know turning towards a loved one after conflict instead of giving them the cold shoulder is a sign of emotional maturity#and is generally a healthy communication habit#but like. you gotta actually HAVE the conflict first instead of glossing over it the minute difficult emotions come up???#and when they get in these loops i really think they should just. agree on a mutual time out to do their own thing for a day#calm down sort themselves out and then come back together to mend things#instead of just reflexively drawing closer together immediately to try and smother discontent#which just results in them still being upset and now tripping over each other bumping elbows exacerbating things#while being obnoxiously saccharine to cover it up#i mean. 7 yrs is nothing to sneeze at but imo this is. not a sustainable way of relating & building a life together#and it sucks to watch it play out. reminds me of my parents who were blissfully incompatible in a similar way for like 30 years#before it finally blew up spectacularly with a lot of collateral damage earlier this year.
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piplupod · 4 months
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trying to remind myself that this exhaustion and fatigue is a heavy layer of Bad over everything and skewing my perspective but dear fucking god i really feel like there is Nothing for me and everything is so scary and overwhelming. trying to just grit my teeth and tell myself once i rest and recover from the roadtrip then life will feel manageable again but i am not anywhere near convinced this is true fhfkdl
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wavesoutbeingtossed · 4 months
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#warning: rant about parent ahead#I’m so so so so so empathetic to mental health struggles#like exceedingly so#but it’s just so exhausting being on the receiving end of someone’s self-loathing#and to be clear I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT ANYONE HERE#you are all my phone besties and I have so much empathy for your struggles and know that i love you all#and wish i could say the right thing to support you all always and you are always welcome to share whatever is going on#and to quote the bard herself i wish i could take the bombs in your head and disarm them#but when my mother gets into these moods she just seems to use it as a way to get a rise out of us#she’s pulling the ‘well maybe you don’t want to do x with me because it’s not fun because I’m a terrible person and you’re scared of me#and i ruin everything so maybe you would just rather i do everything alone’#and i don’t doubt she feels horrible and i know she has intrusive thoughts etc#but that is so manipulative!!!! she then puts the onus on us to reassure her that she is not!!!! But that is not what she wants!!!!#which we then do profusely and remind her that we do love her and we do do things together and whatever the fuck is the problem of the day#but of course she won’t hear it#so yes it makes us scared of her because we are always worried we’re going to say the wrong thing in a given moment!!!!#i just shut the fuck up at all times now#but my dad tries to use reason with her and of course it just ends in her lashing out and projecting all this shit on him#’oh you maybe you actually hate me maybe you want to leave me’ etc#THEY’VE BEEN MARRIED DECADES HE’S THE MOST LOYAL AND KINDEST PERSON IN THE WORLD HE NEVER ONCE HAS#i honestly don’t know how he lets this roll off his back because i am so fed up with it#It’s just so so so so hard because one minute she’s ‘herself’ and the other she’s this inferno#and we just have to ride whatever wave she’s on and it sucks all the air out of the room#it’s like the one and only time i tried to very gently bring up that something she said was hurtful *after she’d brought it up herself*#she went on a ‘oh I’m a terrible person/terrible parent’ rant and it then turned into me reassuring her that she isn’t#i was just trying to show her how the language/behaviour she uses was hurtful to me#so anyway that was lesson learned that even if she invites it i will never speak of it and luckily she hasn’t since and that was years ago#But it’s just… i know bad thoughts can’t be helped and again i feel so much pain on her behalf for what she struggles with#and i wish i could help but there’s absolutely nothing i can do#AND SHE’S GONE OFF ALL HER MEDS SO THE ONE SOURCE SHE DID HAVE ISN’T THERE ANYMORE EITHER
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ruairy · 9 months
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pantestudines · 10 months
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having a "former gifted kid" type mental spiral
#i say this because the spiral is actually about how much i hate the word and the general culture around giftedness#mostly because its incredibly inconsistent between schools so people often mean different things when they say it#but also because in my specific case its certainly not a gift but like. what am i supposed to call it.#its literally a neurodivergence in my case that has had many effect postive and negative on my life. but its also a school club.#and its also nothing! before the advent of like modern standardized public education i wouldve just been a curious kid#Without modern public education im not sure i wouldve even been different from other kids. maybe a little socially awkward still but idk#and like. Am i really different from other kids? am I now as an adult different from my peers? Occasionally i will get told as such#how the fuck am i suppose to talk about how much being seperated from my peers and held to higher standards sucked#when the name of the reason why this happened might as well be 'gods specialist little boy'#none of the things that make people think im smarter are really all that useful day to day. and most non-gifted people are like. still smar#i happen to be good at memorizing the kind of facts schools test you on as children#but is that just because i was told as a kid to be good at school and so i tried hard to do that?#even if I am uniquely good at that#does that really make me more intelligent than the high school dropouts who can fix cars like its nothing?#in fact i would say they are at least wiser than me for picking something practical to be smart at#at my school being gifted usually implied you were a little neurodivergent and bad at socializing#often our gifted kids were actually failing classes because they were smart enough to realize they didnt matter#(not me but still)#but at some schools being gifted just means you were an avid reader or were pressured by your parents to maintain perfect As at all times#so if i say. wanted to talk about how being 'gifted' has often made some aspects of academia like hating emails and having time blindness#and not having a good friend network and having many unadressed issues around not really knowing how to make friends#if i wanted to talk about that. and i say 'I was gifted growing up and this sucked'#the person on the other end might hear 'oh woe is me im so smart and this makes my life so hard'#AND FURTHER STILL#on tumblr especially 'former gifted kid' has kindve become parlance for 'guy whining about nothing'#or even 'person who they were told was smart but is actually kinda dumb'#which... yeah! theres a reason many former gifted kids are like that! thats kindve my issue with the program in the first place!#it takes otherwise relatively normal if well achieving kids and tells them they are gods specialist little children.#THIS CANNOT BE HELPFUL TO ANYONE? like whatever chance the kids had at seeming normal has been stripped away#and they now also think they are the smartest person in the room in every situation
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brine-in-my-eyes · 2 years
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listening to the entire album of pat the bunny’s “probably nothing possibly everything” is like so good you guys oh my gosh
also ajj is cool too
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bookwyrminspiration · 2 years
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To add onto her human parents, how do you think they would feel if they ever received their memories back and saw Sophie’s life. They would see the child they raised for more than a decade living with a different set of parents, even though she knew they were alive and living. Next, they would hear about the Black Swan and how she was repeatedly put in danger by them. They would not be happy to hear about that. Then, they would have contend with the Elvin world and everything that was happening. Last, they would have to deal with realizing how everything they had was taken away. For the wipe to work, they would need to wipe everyone who ever knew their family. Her parents would have lost their parents, extended family, and friends. They would remember them, but they would not remember them, which is horrific.
Well you just went and answered your own question! That's an excellent summary of all the horrifying realities they'd have to face and their consequences. I must admit we know very little of them, but from what we do know, all I can imagine is horror and a determined refusal to go along with what anyone tries to say to them.
They'd see all this and want their daughter back. They'd see how she was taken from them and exposed to all these horrible things and people, put in so much danger the past 2 1/2 years, and they'd not trust a word said to them. I could see them potentially meeting more issue with it all if they actually talk to Sophie herself, because they'd be faced with the reality that there are things and people she cares about there. And that she's not the daughter they remember.
Her human parents don't know Sophie anymore, that would be another realization. When their memories of her end, she was a quiet, shy overachiever who always tried to avoid attention, plagued by headaches. Meeting her again, now she's a powerful, confident, unapologetic leader who stands up and pushes back. She holds her own, makes her opinions known, and isn't afraid to rebel. Her parents have no idea how to parent that, wouldn't recognize her like this. It would throw them for a loop, painful to both her parents and Sophie herself how disconnected they are.
There's potential that Sophie could convince them somewhat of how much she cares about the elven world, but that wouldn't stop them from wanting her back under their roof, their supervision, back to a "normal" life. The heartbreaking conflict there is that...the "normal" life they'd try to give her wouldn't be normal. Sophie is abnormal in every situation, and it would just be another ruse unless concessions were made on both sides--unlikely to happen.
William and Emma truly get screwed over in every variation, it seems. Their desire for a family taken advantage of, losing their daughter, their lives being replaced, losing their memories multiple times. And even if they became fully conscious, there's no easy solution without sacrifices on either side, which is a whole thing on its own.
I've gotten slightly distracted from the original question, which is how they'd feel I think they'd see all of this and have no clue how to process the anger and helplessness and the grief over it all, only able to focus on the fact that they want their daughter back. But given how little we know and how speculative and theoretical these circumstances are, I may very well be wrong. Who knows!
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