#paris iliad

[literallyjusttoa]

RIP Odysseus you would have loved long distance calls.

RIP Diomedes you would have loved Call of Duty voice chats.

RIP Patroclus you would have loved winning every high school popularity contest.

RIP Achilles you would have loved Alpha male TikToks.

RIP Agamemnon you would have loved being an asshole CEO.

RIP Nestor you would have loved toddler leashes.

RIP Cassandra you would have loved being able to sue people for the damages they caused you.

RIP Hector you would have loved the Kentucky Derby.

RIP Paris you would have loved doxxing people anonymously.

RIP Helen you would have loved women getting to have rights.

RIP Troy you would have loved fire extinguishers.

[dovrt]

IMAGINE being Andromache and your DAD and seven BROTHERS were killed by a blond twink and your HUSBAND gets also killed by said twink bc he killed the twink's bf

[sarafangirlart]

The Greeks talking about Paris:

[badliteraturememes]

Fuck Paris, stan Helen

[awrestlinggirlwholoves80sbands]

Straight from @streets-in-paradise's post here's :

Izzy Stradlin as Patroclus ( specifically the Troy version)

Vince Neil as Paris ( specifically the Troy version)

[marieisnothere12]

dni if you think the trojans are the villians/hj

expect paris he’s…smth

we stan hector if you hate hector i will come for you

[wolfythewitch]

Stop adapting the iliad and the Odyssey into movies. You'll never succeed. Adapt them into shounen anime, as is their god given right

[adhdchilles]

iliad tumblr simulator

🦉 ithacasfavguy Follow

boss is asleep. currently on a quest to steal some wine

🦉 ithacasfavguy Follow

stop reblogging this i'm gonna get caught you fuckers

#/srs

(729 notes)

🌻 achilles Follow

hahaha it would be so funny if i got so deathly drunk my hot doctor boyfriend had to escort me to the infirmary and pin me down so i dont end up stabbing someone and holding me by the hair to force my chin up and make me drink medicine hahahahaha

#please #pleaseee #i am so gay rn

(2,486 notes)

🚬 menelaghh Follow

i miss my wife

(215 notes)

🦢 helen Follow

currently having the time of my life. everything is great. except my new husband. i hope he dies

#captive princess life

(8,632 notes)

🐌 patrokloss Follow

never thought id have to say this but please do not try to make homemade wine with random shit you find on the woods ?? a guy just died

#psa #medicine

(371 notes)

👤 hektoroftroy Follow

guys im gonna be honest the worst thing to ever happen in my life was my brother coming back

🐭 parisbutitsnotfrance Follow

:((

👤 hektoroftroy Follow

you are literally on my DNI. this is your fifth account. please go away

(420 notes)

💪 jaxajax Follow

why are all the animals coughing to death?

#is this normal #vets of tumblr answer me

(13 notes)

🦦 die-a-medes Follow

these trojans ain't shit 😂😂😂 we'll be winning this easy fr

🦦 die-a-medes Follow

girl help it's been ten years

(824 notes)

👁 cassssandra Follow

being haunted by visions can be very fun actually

#therapist told me to be positive #trying

(5 notes)

🐭 parisbutitsnotfrance Follow

hello

🐭 parisbutitsnotfrance Follow

stop telling me to kill myself???

(8,753 notes)

🌻 achilles Follow

i hope you nerds name men on men attraction after me when i die

#if this doesnt happen then what is the point

(10,942 notes)

[alibonbonn]

Helenus and Cassandra

[katkit-drops-alt]

aaaaaaaaaaaa the iliad/odyssey as cat memes aaaaaaaaaaaaa

[literallyjusttoa]

"Sunny!" you cry, "Why did you draw the entire Trojan royal family from oldest to youngest in two days? That seems wildly unhealthy!"

"hurghhhhhhhh" I reply.

Anyways here's the full family portrait

(Only four of these people survive the Trojan war btw :D)

[dovrt]

reading the iliad... no one told me it was this fucking funny

Paris: which one of you COWARDS wants to fight me?? square up!!!

Menelaus: hey you took my wife, imma fight you

Paris (slowly trying to hide himself behind his soldiers): uhhh not you pls

[brother-emperors]

DO NOT BE AFRAID

this is combining Ovid's Heroides and the Excidium Troie because I can't stop thinking of Hermes telling him not to be afraid. what the fuck!! Ares is wearing the crown that Paris gave him.

I have. thoughts. about Paris. he's almost got this Troilos parallel in my mind, that the event that defines him in detail exists in a lost narrative that we don't have (the Cypria), but everyone else knew. the event that defines Troilos is his death (murdered, butchered by Achilles, the violence of which haunts everything after. Achilles, child killer, you can't escape that!), and the event that defines Paris is the Judgement. what's a lost text but a kind of grave!!

idk I don't think that Paris before the Judgement would recognize himself after bc when you become god touched, it rearranges your guts. you become transformed in the worst way possible! how could you recognize yourself! but I also think that all the Parises after the Judgement would recognize each other because that event is so locked into the trauma of war and the scar it leaves on the land, it's like a scar on the narrative too. it exists like this forever, over and over again, so you exist like that forever too. Troy collects grief and despairs.

Troy as trauma: Reflections on intergenerational transmission and the locus of trauma, Andromache Karanika

and Paris is like. a miserable little god/corpse-puppet or something, like a match for the gods to throw onto gasoline.

The Excidium Troie + Ovid's Heroides:

Excidium Troie, trans. Muhammad Syarif Fadhlurrahman

Ovid, Heroides 16 (trans. Harold Isbell)

a collection of things regarding Paris that made me go 😬 but under a cut bc this is getting. very long.

The Divine Twins in Early Greek Poetry, Corolla Torontonensis

Iliad 24 and the Judgement of Paris, C.J. Mackie

Elegy and Epic and the Recognition of Paris: Ovid "Heroides" 16, Elizabeth Forbis Mazurek

Ennian Influence in "Heroides" 16 and 17, Howard Jacobson

Paris/Alexandros in the "Iliad", I. J. F. de Jong

[greekmythcomix]

DEATH in the ILIAD: an Infographic

(originally 2014, updated slightly for 2023 - hey it's almost as old as Homer's Trojan War was long!)

[quill-is-brainstorming]

Here's something funny that I can't believe I've never shared before.

So I was scrolling through the Hector of Troy tag and I stumbled upon a post referring to him as the "son of Troy".

Now, in it of itself that's all fine and dandy, but it reminded me of something.

In Italian, the city of Troy is referred to as Troia.

The word Troia just so happens to be a mixture of the words bitch and slut.

So yeah, you just end up with these marvelous expressions:

"Hector, son of Troy" becomes "Ettore, figlio di Troia" = "Hector, son of a Bitch"

"Trojan War" becomes "Guerra di Troia" = "Slut War"

"Paris, prince of the city of Troy" becomes "Paride, principe della città di Troia" = "Paris, prince of the city of the Slut"

And I could go on.

Man, do I love my language.

[laikaru]

Diomedes can‘t feel the pain of the arrow because he‘s too busy collating his best material to insult Paris with. I couldn’t think of the dialogue he should say so feel free to caption!

Diomedes: I‘m not injured, I was lightly stabbed.

Odysseus: I’m sorry, you were stabbed!?

Diomedes: lightly stabbed.