#parting path niel

[denimbex1986]

'Scientific grunt work doesn’t render very well on the silver screen. But neither do most jobs, or for that matter, most people. When it comes to theoretical physicists and aesthetic appeal, it’s best to channel quantum mechanics and suspend your disbelief.

Enter Oppenheimer, where Brigadier General Matt Damon says things like, “This is the most important thing to ever happen in the history of the world!” And, “We’ve given them an ace. It’s up to them to play the hand.” No doubt these sentiments were actually delivered as 700-page memorandums, Pendaflex-foldered and date-stamped. But this is Hollywood we’re talking about. You’ll find little in the way of stationery here, at least not on screen. And when the occasional differential equation rolls into frame, writer/director Christopher Nolan cuts smartly away before the audience might nod off.

To Nolan’s credit, Oppenheimer is a terrifically researched film. But it’s a film nonetheless, and translating sprawling, decades-long military sagas via camera necessitates shortcuts. I’m not a vetted expert on nuclear history but I’ve dabbled, having acted as research assistant for a 2020 treatise on plutonium production. This is to say that I’m familiar with the players.

I know, for example, that Matt Damon is far too cuddly, good-looking, and agreeable to portray the irascible Leslie Groves, nicknamed “Greasy” by his fellow West Point cadets. I know that Niels Bohr, the Danish physicist with a famously soft, nigh-unintelligible voice, is misrepresented by Shakespearean enunciator Kenneth Branagh. Nolan’s rolodex runs deeper than Wes Anderson’s these days, and if there’s a gripe to be had with Oppenheimer, it’s that everyone involved is just too damned sexy.

But, again, this is Hollywood, and where Nolan leaves the beaten path of record he generally does so to sate our dopamine addiction. Come to think of it, I haven’t been inside an actual physics department in a while. Maybe the professors really are incredibly gorgeous.

Luckily for Nolan, the subject of his cinematic obsession was a high-cheeked academic anomaly. The poet Edith Jenkins, who overlapped with J. Robert Oppenheimer in leftwing circles, describes his “precocity and brilliance… his jerky walk, feet turned out, a Jewish Pan with his blue eyes and his wild Einstein hair.” Manhattan Project scientist Robert Wilson agrees, admitting that he was “caught up by the Oppenheimer charisma,” “his style, the poetic vision of what we were doing.”

No, Oppy’s jawline never approached the artful chisel of Cillian Murphy’s, but there are unmistakable parallels—a bit elfin, a bit skeletal—to be drawn. Certainly Oppenheimer availed himself of more mistresses than your average mid-century physicist. Nolan spends perhaps too much time focusing on one of them (Jean Tatlock, played by Florence Pugh) and mentions a second in passing (Ruth Tolman, a bit part Louise Lombard), while avoiding speculation of yet others, such as when Berkeley cops found grad student Melba Phillips sleeping in Oppy’s car somewhere in the Coastal Range, the professor himself suspiciously absent.

Oppenheimer’s messy personal life makes him an ideal candidate for exposé—look no further than Kai Bird and Martin J. Sherwin’s bestselling American Prometheus, Nolan’s source material. But here I’ll return to Hollywoodization, for it’s one thing to get wind of Oppenheimer’s foibles and quite another to see Florence Pugh writhing hallucinatorily on his lap during the 1954 AEC security hearings.

If Nolan goes too far in this film, if he stretches the Oppenheimer envelope past its roomy Pendaflex accommodations, it’s in the context of Oppy outside the Manhattan Project. Despite magnificent wartime subject matter—not all of which is touched upon—Nolan can’t quit his blockbuster tropes. Monochrome senate hearings, petty political twists (how is RDJ’s aide still employed?), Oppy’s fingers gracing Emily Blunt’s as she asks for a cocktail science primer.

Maybe audiences require such touchstones to contextualize the rest of the film. Nolan seems to think so. But as the string section swelled during a trite turn in the relatively forgettable career of Lewis Strauss, I found myself wishing we could’ve stayed put in New Mexico, on the high mesa that forms this film’s heart.

Nolan’s feat comes in recreating Los Alamos, a critical American moment with more than enough narrative to forgo some of the politico-romantic schlock that drags this thing to a three-hour runtime. Fascinated by character, by gray morality, Nolan found Oppy such an attractive case study that it nearly steered his magnum opus (I do think this film qualifies) off track. Each of the factual and immensely complicated bomb-related obstacles—for example, thunderstorms the morning of the Trinity Test—holds a world-changing thrall entirely separate from the whims of one man, no matter how chiseled his jaw.

Speaking of moralistic study, there’s one character who escapes Oppenheimer scot-free: Matt Damon’s overly fit and preposterously understated Leslie Groves. “I’ve known General Groves since I was 2nd lieutenant,” said the real-world David Nichols (cast as Dane DeHaan) in a 1965 interview. “To start off with, I would say he is the biggest son-of-a-bitch I’ve ever met, bar none.”

“Impatient, brusque, intolerant,” writes Robert S. Norris in his comprehensive Groves biography Racing for the Bomb. “He had few close friends, and others generally kept their distance.”

“When you looked at Captain Groves, a little alarm bell rang ‘Caution’ in your brain,” said a colleague.

Damon bulked up, lumped up—whatever—for his role as Nike executive Sonny Vaccaro in this year’s Air. But it’s a serious leap from office park Vaccaro to Army taskmaster Groves, who even in his 1970 New York Times obituary suffered the redundant label of, “a chunky, heavyset man, with a tendency toward paunchiness.” More unfounded than Damon’s weight, however, is a good guy nature cultivated over decades of Good Will Hunting television marathons, Invictus advertisements, and so on.

Cillian Murphy’s shell-shocked victory speech presents a nice commentary on the ethical morass of atomic weaponry. But Damon/Groves makes for an even juicier moralistic target, and he’s let off the hook with that aforementioned one-liner: “We’ve given them an ace, it’s up to them to play the hand.” If anyone bore responsibility for detonating two atomic bombs over civilian populations, it was General Leslie R. Groves, the only person playing said poker game in the first place.

Racing for the Bomb explains, “Groves, sitting atop his security pyramid, was the only person who knew everything about the bomb project—more than the chief of staff, more than the secretary of war, more than the president.” He was therefore “singularly concerned with the bomb, with getting it finished, tested, and used, and his superiors deferred to him time and again to make the choices that would make this happen.”

Nolan illustrates how the bomb haunted Oppenheimer. Groves, cinematically absent after Trinity, showed no such regret. Critiquing the general’s 1962 autobiography Now It Can Be Told, the Saturday Review wrote, “Groves is motivated by a simple and all-sufficing patriotism that is untroubled by what others see in the atom. He does not probe for any new vision of national interest in the age he helped create.”

Simple and all-sufficing patriotism—sounds familiar. Make of it what you will.

The only Oppenheimer character who comes across as legitimately malevolent is Benny Safdie’s terrific Ed Teller. Maybe I fell for Teller because Safdie, a director by trade, looks more like a physicist than a cologne model. Still, I get the sense that Safdie studied his source material. When he pipes up about the “Super”—the hydrogen bomb—his eyes hold nary a flicker of regret. And he keeps doing so despite repeated disdain from his colleagues.

Look, I get it, I really do, on the attractiveness quotient. This is a movie, and if scientists and bureaucrats don’t suffice for a visual study then we’ll goddamn pretend. It’s only sensible that Ernest Lawrence— who, per physicist Jeremy Bernstein, “looked a bit like a country bumpkin”—becomes Josh Hartnett. That Lewis Strauss, a crooked-toothed self-made paper pusher, turns into silver fox Robert Downey Jr. I guess I even understand why Olivia Thirlby got thrown in out of absolutely nowhere, probably as Lilli Hornig, though I can’t recall her name being said aloud.

Nolan had to beautify this stuff because the big screen is a beautiful place. He gets most of the issues absolutely right, and I’ll be pulling for him come Oscar season. I doubt I’ll wind up remembering Emily Blunt’s Kitty Oppenheimer, Matthew Modine’s Vannevar Bush, or whoever the hell Rami Malek was supposed to be. But I’ll surely remember the Trinity Test, fingers trembling over that big red button, “10-9-8” and the towering explosion and the pressure wave—even if, no shade at Nolan, David Lynch already did it better on television.'

[sewooonz]

niel 'parting path' m/v (x)

[crazycoke-addict]

Christina Carpertner is gonna be a red herring.

Since we don't have that much information about Scream 7. We do know that it is possible that we will meet Sam and Tara's mother, Christina. Christina has been mentioned since Scream 5 and the more we get to hear about her. It's a question on how she going play out. Whenever I see fans talk about her, theories have gone around into believing that she is going be ghostface. However I don't think she is going to be a ghostface but rather a red herring.

My question for the fans that believe in this theory. You gotta ask yourself, what makes you so sure that Christina is gonna Scream 7 ghostface killer and what her motive would be? Every ghostface killer's motive tend to be mixture of revenge, fame and even love. Billy wants revenge on Sidney because she is reminder of the woman that destroyed his family. Mrs Loomis wants revenge on Sidney for the death of Billy. Roman wants revenge on Sidney for having everything that he never got to have, Jill's desire is to have fame and everything that Sidney got to have. Richie's love for the Stab movie and the hatred for the latest one. Detective Bailey, Ethan and Quinn want revenge on Sam for the death of Richie. However we don't know about the motive until they reveal themselves. You could say that Christina's motive is her vendetta towards Sam and she believes that Sam broke her family. But that's not a good motive. Which is why I don't believe she is going to be Scream 7 ghostface killer.

Red Herring has been a biggest part in murder mystery movies, it's a way to mislead the audience into believing that this character who doesn’t have a good reputation nor good relationship with other character is the killer. Scream is known for their red herring. However it's safe to say that the red herring will never be the killer but rather a parallel or even foreshadowing of the one or two killers. The character who have been red herring are Niel Prescott from Scream 1, Cotton Weary from Scream 2, John Milton from Scream 3, Trevor Sheldon from Scream 4 and Vince Schnieder from Scream (2022). While Niel Prescott isn't in the movie that much, he is however mentioned throughout the movie. Since the police can track him down and they find out the calls that Casey and Sidney are coming from his phone that we know Billy and Stu cloned, which ends growing suspicion since his motive would the anniversary of his wife's death triggered him.

Cotton already has a bad reputation due to him having an affair with a married woman but also in the first movie it was believe that he killed Maureen Prescott. When he is turned out to be innocent, Cotton appears to love the fame that he is even that his desire for it matches with Mickey's motive. However since he does have a complicated relationship with Sidney and she did put him in jail. This could be seen as him wanting revenge like how Mrs Loomis want revenge. In the end, Cotton becomes the hero of the story. John Milton has limited screentime in Scream 3, but as Gale, Dewey and Jennifer get more detailed about Maureen and her time in Hollywood. The path leads them to John Milton whom directed three movies that Maureen Starred in. John is a powerful man who abused his power by taking advantage on young inexperienced actresses like Maureen. Since he keeps making movies that capitalised the tragedy of Sidney, it shown he has an obsession towards her.

While we don't see Trevor until Jill is at school. He is mentioned a few times. Trevor's reputation that despite being in love with Jill, he still cheats on her and in one part where Jill reveals herself to be the killer, it sounds like Jenny wasn't the only girl whom Trevor cheated on Jill with. During the movie, Trevor is believe to play the role of Billy Loomis whom also had a complicated relationship with his girlfriend. In Scream (2022), Vince isn't in that long since he ends up being the first victim, but his screentime shows a lot about his character. Personally I think they should've extended this character. Vince's reputation is that he is the nephew of Stu Macher but also how he act towards Liv whom is high school student while he is an adult. This can be be seen as a foreshadowing that one of the ghostface killer isn't in high school but rather dating a high school student.

So, if we look into what we know about Christina Carpertner, she fits into the red herring trope. Let's start with the fact that Christina cheated on her boyfriend with somebody else whom was in relationship as well. When she got pregnant, she passed the baby off as her boyfriend's. Sam finds out about her real father through her mother's diary. The father hears this and he ends up leaving the family. Instead of talking to Sam about it and find away to fix this. She turns to alcohol and put the blame on Sam for tearing the family apart and even believe that she is the reason for what happened to Tara. Scream VI, Sam says that she was cut off by her mother while Tara cut her off in response. Her negative tone and how she is towards her daughters especially with Sam makes me believe that she is going to a red herring and may even be a plan for the killers to framed for the murders.

[scotianostra]

August 16th 1766 saw the birth of Carolina Oliphant (Lady Nairne), poet and author of many Jacobite songs.

Carolina Oliphant was born into an aristocratic family at the” ‘Auld Hoose’ of Gask, Perthshire, the daughter of Laird Laurence Oliphant who with Prince Charles fought during the Jacobite uprisings, and Margret Struan. Her father gave her the name of Carolina as a tribute to Prince Charles Edward Stuart

Carolina married her second cousin Major William Murray Nairne at her family home in Gask in Perthshire. Marrying a second cousin was very common in these days especially in aristocratic families to keep the blood lines as ‘pure’ as possible. After getting married, Lady Nairne and her husband William settled in Duddingston near Edinburgh where they lived in Caroline Cottage. This particular cottage that Lady Nairne and her husband were living in was built and helped funded for by her uncle Chief of Strowan a notable Jacobite.

In her younger years, she was pretty, energetic, and had a keen fondness for dancing. Niel Gow, the famous fiddler, was a contemporary, and they no doubt crossed paths. It was at this time that she adapted popular melodies with new lyrics. The original lyrics would have been considered much too crude for society folk. These included The Laird o' Cockpen, The County Meeting, and The Pleughman.

It was upon settling in Edinburgh that she became involved in her lifelong project to preserve and foster the songs of Scotland. In those days, it was not considered proper for ladies of her place in society to dabble in what she herself called "this queer trade of song-writing". Her attempts at keeping her hobby a secret included not telling her husband, publishing her books anonymously, or under the nom-de-plume: Mrs. Bogan of Bogan. Much of her work was contributed in this form, to Robert Purdie's The Scottish Minstrel, 1821-24, in six volumes. When she went to visit him, she would wear an old, veiled cloak, in the hopes she would not be recognized.

In 1824, part due to Walter Scott's endless petitioning, Parliament restored the forfeited Jacobite peerages and Major Nairne regained the family Barony, and she and her husband became Baron and Baroness Nairne.

Baron Nairne died in 1830, and from then on, she travelled quite extensively with her invalid son, who was born in 1808, and her great niece. Her son died in Brussels in 1837, and she finally relented to her relatives' pleas to return to Scotland in 1845. Tired and sick, she came back to her home in Gask to die on October 26, 1845, at age 79. She was buried within the new chapel which had been completed only days earlier.

Two years after her death, a posthumous collection of verse, Lays of Strathearn, was prepared by her sister, but this time her name subscribed to the book. A granite cross was erected to her memory in the grounds of Gask House.

Altogether, she wrote or adapted nearly 100 songs and poems in her lifelong endeavor. Lady Carolina Nairne deserves recognition today, because not only did she help to preserve many Scottish tunes, but also, at a time when women's talents were expected to be merely domestic, she managed to do her own thing.

Her creative ability, the secret part of her life, never interfered with her position as a society lady. Lady Carolina Nairne has been sadly neglected, but to her we owe immense gratitude, for, without her, much of the Scottish musical heritage would have been lost.

Lady Nairne was an astute collector of song and wrote some of Scotland's best-known songs, yet today there are few people that are familiar with her work. It doesn't help that some of her songs and prose have have been attributed to Robert Burns, James Hogg or Walter Scott.

The late great Jean Redpath recorded an album of Lady Nairn songs, I have chose one for you to listen to, I am sure you will know it weel.

Bonnie charlie's noo awa Safely o'er the friendly main Mony's a heart will break in twa Should he ne'er come back again And mony a traitor 'mang the isles Brak the band o' nature's law And many a traitor wi' his wiles Sought to wear his life awa

And will ye no' come back again? Will ye no' come back again? Better lo'ed ye canna be Will ye no' come back again?

The hills he trode were a' his ain And bed beneath the birken tree The bush that hid him on the plain There's none on earth can claim but he And whene'er i hear the blackbird sing Unto the e'ening sinking down Or merl that maks the woods to ring To me they hae nae ither soun'

And will ye no' come back again? Will ye no' come back again? Better lo'ed ye canna be Will ye no' come back again?

And mony's a gallant sodger fought And mony's a gallant chief did fa' And death itself were dearly bought A' for scotland's king and law Sweet the lav'rock's note and lang Lilting wildly up the glen But aye the o'erword o' the sang Says will ye no come back again?

And will ye no' come back again? Will ye no' come back again? Better lo'ed ye canna be Will ye no' come back again?

[spacetimewithstuartgary]

Does ice in the Universe contain the molecules making up the building blocks of life in planetary systems? The James Webb Space Telescope – the most precise telescope ever built – was decisive in discovering the frozen forms of a long series of molecules, such as carbon dioxide, ammonia, methane, methanol and even more complex molecules, frozen out as ices on the surface of small dust grains. The dust grains grow in size when being a part of the discs of gas and dust forming around young stars. This means that the researchers could study many of the molecules going into the forming of new exoplanets. Researchers at the Niels Bohr Institute, University of Copenhagen, combined the discoveries from JWST with data from Atacama Large Millimeter Array (ALMA), making observations in other wavelengths than JWST and researchers from Aarhus University contributed with the necessary investigations in the laboratory. “With the application of observations, e.g. from ALMA, it is possible for us to directly observe the dust grains themselves, and it is also possible to see the same molecules as in the gas observed in the ice” Lars Kristensen, associate Professor at the Niels Bohr Institute (NBI), explains. “Using the combined data set gives us a unique insight into the complex interactions between gas, ice and dust in areas where stars and planets form” according to Jes Jørgensen, Professor at NBI. “This way we can map the location of the molecules in the area both before and after they have been frozen out onto the dust grains and we can follow their path from the cold molecular cloud to the emerging planetary systems around young stars”. The content of ice in the molecular cloud was a decisive discovery The ices were detected and measured by studying how starlight from beyond the molecular cloud was absorbed by icy molecules at specific infrared wavelengths visible to Webb. This process leaves behind chemical fingerprints known as absorption spectra which can be compared with laboratory data to identify which ices are present in the molecular cloud. In this study, the team targeted ices buried in a particularly cold, dense and difficult to investigate region of the Chamaeleon I molecular cloud, a region approximately 600 light-years from Earth which is currently in the process of forming dozens of young stars. Along with star forming comes planet forming and the perspective for the researchers in the IceAge collaboration is basically to identify the role the ice plays in gathering the molecules necessary to form life. “This study confirms that interstellar grains of dust are catalysts for the forming of complex molecules in the very diffuse gas in these clouds, something we see in the lab as well”, Sergio Ioppolo explains, associate professor at Aarhus University, contributing with some of the experiments in the lab that were compared with the observations. The sensitivity of JWST was an absolutely necessary precondition for the discovery “We simply couldn't have observed these ices without Webb,” elaborated Klaus Pontoppidan, JWST project scientist at the Space Telescope Science Institute, Baltimore, USA, who was involved in this research. “The ices show up as dips against a continuum of background starlight. In regions that are this cold and dense, much of the light from the background star is blocked and Webb’s exquisite sensitivity was necessary to detect the starlight and therefore identify the ices in the molecular cloud.” The IceAge team has already planned more observations with both Webb and other telescopes. "These observations together with further laboratory studies will tell us which mixture of ices — and therefore which elements — can eventually be delivered to the surfaces of terrestrial exoplanets or incorporated into the atmospheres of giant gas or ice planets. "Melissa McClure, astronomer at the Leiden Observatory and leader of the observation program, concludes. TOP IMAGE....Chamaeleon 1 is one of the darkest and coldest regions we have yet measured CREDIT ESA CENTRE IMAGE....The Atacama Large Millimeter/submillimeter Array (ALMA) is an astronomical interferometer of 66 radio telescopes in the Atacama Desert of northern Chile LOWER IMAGE....The James Webb Space Telescope is the largest and most powerful space telescope to date.

[hdminseon-archive]

━━ : 𝟗𝟗 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐗𝐄𝐒 ( BUT YOU CAN'T BE ME ! ) .

for @hdniel 🌷

MINSEON WAS NEVER ONE TO LIVE IN THE PRESENT. on the contrary, promptly following his move to seoul, he had no trouble establishing a reputation for precisely the opposite, unwittingly giving weight to rumors bordering on hyperbolic. where many of his peers had spent time learning the art of actualization, minseon had learned to lace up his shoes and run—— and so he ran. he was brilliant at finding detours, traversing lesser-known paths; the difficulty was only in finding his way home.

... and as hydra's first evaluation of the year drew ever closer, 'finding his way home' was becoming increasingly difficult. following the uncharacteristic selection of his ( temporary! ) group position, minseon had begun to feel apprehensive at the thought of returning at all. it was so easy to sink himself into daydreams of sunrises, petals pressed between pages, than it was to have to jolt himself awake, realize he'd fixated on the hair framing niel's face and drawn up rose-colored abstractions to distract himself from his reality. he'd missed the tail end of their training debrief— again.

as the group prepared to disperse for the day, he caught niel by the sleeve, opening a remorseful address with: "uh." then: "sorry." then: "would you mind running that last part by me again...? i was..." staring into space, but that didn't seem an appropriate excuse. he closed his mouth. opened it. closed it again.

[stateofsport211]

ITF M25 Heraklion (Nov 6) QF: Arthur Gea [JE] def. Yshai Oliel [7] 6-3, 6-4 Match Recap

Arthur Gea's point to *2-3 0-40 (left) and to take the first set 6-3 (right) (📸 ITF Media)

The action in this week's ITF M25 Heraklion continued with a quarterfinal match featuring seventh seed Yshai Oliel, who had a hard-fought revenge win against Niels Visker 6-4, 3-6, 7-6(7) in the second round, and a promising potential (entering with junior exempt) Arthur Gea, who previously defeated qualifier Sasa Markovic 6-1, 6-1, as well as becoming last week's runner-up. Knowing both players, the return game will play an emphasis with the balance as one of the most important aspects during the match, especially with their aggression.

It turned out that A. Gea had an interesting start to the match, controlling the flow from the baseline with a pace where it could be prone to Oliel's unforced errors. After five consecutive holds, Oliel's forehand errors resulted in the gate-openers to A. Gea's possible break, which was further confirmed when his pacing got Oliel into a backhand error in response to his preceding forehand while trying to get the angles, creating A. Gea's break point before it was eventually converted to 4-2. A. Gea then consolidated the lead to 5-2 and had the chance to serve for the set two games later, which he did at the cost of Oliel getting run over through the forehand side while trying to respond to A. Gea's preceding forehand to take the first set 6-3.

Arthur Gea's point to *0-0 0-30 (top left), to *0-2 30-15 (top right), to *2-2 40-ad (middle left, second break point of the game), Yshai Oliel's point to 4-3* 15-30 (middle right), Arthur Gea's point to *4-4 40-40 (bottom GIF), and to convert his match point to take the second set 6-4 (bottom video) (📸 🎥 ITF Media)

Oliel tried to step up and even had his chances in the second set, especially through his forehand side when he tried to find the lines. However, A. Gea's power and precision appeared indisputable under pressure, which left Oliel with lesser options to advance his offensives. A. Gea started his point construction tidily with a volley finish to set himself 2 points ahead right in the first game of the second set, eventually breaking early to 1-0 at the cost of Oliel's error before he went on consolidating the lead to 2-0. He even had two other break points in the subsequent game, one of which came from his inside-in forehand winner before Oliel ended up massively holding his service game to 2-1 before breaking back to 2-2 a point after A. Gea missed his backhand for Oliel's break point creation.

Both players then played some see-saw game marked by several breaks of serve before the ninth game, which became the crucial part toward the ending of the match. One of those involved A. Gea's forehand winner to create his second break point before he broke to 3-2, only to be broken back to 3-3 over several consecutive double faults. Ultimately, after two service game holds, A. Gea foiled one of Oliel's game points through another forehand winner to force a deuce before he broke to 5-4 due to Oliel's forehand unforced error, paving him the way to serve for the match. He sealed the second set 6-4 thanks to a working drop shot on match point, thus securing the path to his second semifinals within the fortnight.

In the semifinals, A. Gea will face Vladyslav Orlov, who earlier stunned second seed Francisco Forti 7-6(3), 7-6(2) in the quarterfinals. Knowing V. Orlov in singles, this could be a doable but tricky affair for A. Gea considering his deep capabilities, but knowing the latter's potential, it could be exciting to see how everything goes with the finals on the line, with a possible rematch against an in-form Guy Den Heijer, who just defeated Harry Wendelken 7-5, 6-2 in the quarterfinals later that day, should he successfully defeat fourth seed Cezar Cretu in the semifinals.

[breezy-badaboom]

TV Show MovieThe scenes are set as a man is playing God for the world using penmanship tricks that he discovered seemingly by the Holy spirit. It shows the magical discoveries and cool things he could do. The TV show in one dimension, movie in the other shows the actor who is beloved by all as he takes over the world as God. The next thing to do is meet the Holy spirit- the person who designed the system to work with him in a professional office stance. She puts him above herself (shows all during a phone conversation) in rank and position and one other person above him. At the point when he had to make a scape goat to move forward doing the right thing it introduces in the TV show my dad. It always shows the way the two lovers are technically together how causes the two lovers (famous from Tarot) to always be together, and on their islands. The

In the movie “Sucker for Circirian” he shows up because the big man baby was a sucker for the circiran mother who tended to him in his spiritual “woom,” and they engage in a intimate, affectionate relationship like and the sign of pie only directly stops the system from requiring low regard. And finally the baby who kept going out to the middle and reaching his arms out to mother was discovered to have been met every time by someone who was an individual who looked exactly like the wife from the Brady Bunch, and those nightmares of him being carelessly abandoned were discovered to be just nightmares.

At the part where God has to decided on a scape goat in order to do the right thing his friend and person he wouldn’t mind considering his “higher up,” in business professionality talks to him like a manager and he tries to pass on the decision of how to do the whole scape goat business as cleanly as possible because its obvious that it’s the only way

Meanwhile, upset that she expected him to make it so her body won’t break open at child birth the lovely Mr. Sullivan is negotiating with the designer of the human body to see what it’ll take to finish the design so that it wont rip when giving brith and that’s the business he’s on. T

The parts lit where I made an irrational decision as a little girl against my sister are cleaned up enough for her to feel comfortable and God makes it if he can so she little me cant slam her sister with uglies when she does something wrong how predicts the part where the two girls have a falling out and lose what they are looking forward to and actually arches it for them to duke it out in the TV show where they operate from the girl whose in rainbow well conditions the whole life, and it’ll all come together as one TV show and it’ll all be produced in such spirits as like now where all systems are go.

To keep the one true path we might have to lie and get people to be okay with it because most liars will at least tell if they are lying but they can get away with it for the sake of keeping the magic of what develops in mystery.

Jessie knows Evil and God are twins and that Evil is the evil part of devil prior to any of what would be jealous guarding.

All the parts in my soul which have made the movie so far go into order sequentially with the status of being optional. Niel gets to decide what happens with his villain whose personality might not make it into the movie and whose primary purpose is keeping the magic of mystery on the villians creators side.

[rediron123]

Prime 10 Stretch Chair Covers Ideas And Inspiration

His voice was described by critic Daniel Durchholz as sounding as though "it was soaked in a vat of bourbon, left hanging within the smokehouse for a couple of months, after which taken outdoors and run over with a automotive". One of Waits's personal favourite descriptions of his vocal fashion was that of "Louis Armstrong and Ethel Merman meeting in Hell". Over the years, Waits made six regular appearances on the Late Show with David Letterman, and on May 14, 2015, he sang "Take One Last Look" on the present stretch chair back covers's fifth to final broadcast. He was accompanied by Larry Taylor on upright bass and Gabriel Donohue on piano accordion, with the horn part of the CBS Orchestra. In the fall of 2015, Waits's work was featured in several songs tailored for stage efficiency in Chicago Shakespeare theater's production of The Tempest.

Additionally, the reduce of our chair cover is generous, so it matches all stacking banquet chairs. Our cover does not require a further band to keep stretch chair back covers the seat in place. The bands can be found as a colour accent, however they are not essential.

Just a few seasons later Rick wouldn’t have thought twice about killing somebody like Randall. It all involves a head with a fateful confrontation within the woods and Shane ends up with a knife in the chest courtesy of his former greatest pal. That’s not the top of it, though, as a outcome of Carl exhibits up simply in time to see Shane come back as a zombie and end him for good. In the depths of COVID-19, Blyth, at the facet of the king and the Tourism Council of Bhutan, set to work. The entirety of the path was cleared and reestablished, 18 bridges have been either rebuilt or restored, and 170 posts with scannable QR codes were placed along the route to educate hikers on its historical past. “I am positive that there is not a different country in the world the place a trail of more than four hundred kilometers , a hundred and fifteen,000 toes of vertical, and greater than 10,000 stone steps may have been in-built lower than three years,” Blyth says.

If you wish to strive a kneeling chair, Gehrman recommends this one. “The advantage to this style of chair is it puts you in a extra upright place,” he explains. A kneeling chair will also lengthen your hip flexors , take some pressure off your glute and hamstring muscles, and promote a extra neutral lumbar backbone. The firm sells a bean refill kit to revitalize your bean bag as quickly as the original beans begin to flatten from prolonged use. However, castors can scuff up floors, which is why we recommend upgrading them to rollerblade wheels .

The bean bag chairs they designed took off as flexible, moveable sitting spots that you could literally bounce into. When I leaned back in the Humanscale Freedom Headrest—which we wrote about more than 20 years ago—I felt bliss. Designed by the famed Niels Diffrient, this chair gracefully helps my back like a mother gently laying a child in a crib.

Perfect for doing under a blanket, on a lazy Sunday, or while you’re watching Netflix—the mixing spoon is like spooning but better. It throws a vibrator into the combo and grants the giving associate direct entry to the erogenous zones. So, seize your favorite vibrator and set yourself up like you normally would for spooning.

For bean bag chairs full of beads, use your hands to push into the center of the bean bag chair to create a nest of assist, like making a properly in a batter mixture, then rapidly sit down earlier than too many beads move. Look for a refillable bean bag chair so you can add beans when the chair sinks an extreme amount of. For foam filling, regularly roll and knead the bean bag chair to ensure a broken-in really feel that’s easier to sink into. Most high quality bean luggage feature an insert that a separate cover slips over and zips closed round like a shell. For a longer-lasting cover, verify for reinforced seams and durable zippers.

Jarmusch wrote Down by Law with Waits and Lurie in thoughts; they performed two of the three major roles, with Roberto Benigni as the third. The film opened and closed with Waits songs taken from Rain Dogs. During these years, Waits sought to broaden his career beyond music by involving himself in different tasks.

As he’s dying he expresses his life’s regrets, writes letters to his dad and Negan urging them to make peace with each other, and tells his dad to find his compassion again. Even Carl’s dying wish isn’t enough to get these two forces of nature to come stretch chair back covers back to terms. Abraham’s loss was upsetting, but followers had been devastated and angered over the death of Glenn, a fan-favorite character who’d been with the present since season one.

For special occasions, velvet or metallic materials are a bit tougher to work with but add a contact of glamor. A quick way to create vacation or different special-occasion covers is with felt, which may be glued in addition to sewed. At your wedding linen, you can get hold of cheap marriage ceremony chair covers on the market. To give a perfect and swish look to the venue, you could also add cheap chair back covers together with the wedding seat covers.

[technologiesbanana]

Lego star wars the force awakens movie cast

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“LEGO Star Wars: The Force Awakens will offer an amazing gaming experience covering not only the movie but also exclusive content with all the fun and humor you would expect from a LEGO game, while delivering the epic Star Wars adventure fans expect.” “We are delighted to return to the Star Wars Universe and continue the journey with the franchise that started it all for LEGO videogames,” said Niels Jørgensen, Vice President, Digital Games for the LEGO Group. With previously untold story content exploring new details about the movie and its characters, it’s a perfect fit for fans of all ages.” “LEGO Star Wars: The Force Awakens allows players to experience the new film in a unique way that only TT Games can provide, combining signature humor with epic Star Wars action.

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“We are thrilled to be bringing back the LEGO Star Wars videogame franchise, which kicked off such a beloved series of LEGO titles more than a decade ago,” said Ada Duan, Vice President, Digital Business & Franchise Management, Lucasfilm. “LEGO Star Wars: The Force Awakens will be pushing the series forward with innovative new gameplay mechanics, while also exploring new parts of the universe that are sure to excite and delight both LEGO and Star Wars fans, as well as newcomers to our games.” “We’re extremely proud of the LEGO Star Wars videogames, truly an incredible franchise that has sold more than 33 million copies and helped ignite a passion for numerous fun-filled LEGO games enjoyed by countless gamers around the world,” said Tom Stone, Managing Director, TT Games.

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Interactive Entertainment, will be available for PlayStation®4 and PlayStation®3 computer entertainment systems, PlayStation®Vita handheld entertainment system, Xbox One, Xbox 360, the Wii U™ system from Nintendo, the Nintendo 3DS™ family of systems and Windows PC. LEGO Star Wars: The Force Awakens, developed by TT Games and published by Warner Bros. Launching on June 28, 2016, the game will introduce brand new gameplay mechanics to build, battle and fly through the galaxy like never before, as well as new story content exploring the time between Star Wars: Return of the Jedi and Star Wars: The Force Awakens, providing additional insight about the new movie and its characters. 1 LEGO videogame franchise, allowing players to relive the epic action from the blockbuster film in a fun-filled, humorous way that only a LEGO game can offer. Interactive Entertainment, TT Games, The LEGO Group and Lucasfilm today announced LEGO® Star Wars™: The Force Awakens™, marking the triumphant return of the No. THE LEGO GROUP AND LUCASFILM ANNOUNCE LEGO® STAR WARS™: THE FORCE AWAKENS™īurbank, Calif. Piece together blueprints to construct vehicles that provide you an edge in battle.īattle bosses and other players in quests and special in-game events by creating battle formations with your cards and vehicles.ĭefeat other players and loot their Blueprint Pieces, leveling up your Battle Ranking.WARNER BROS. Your actions determine the path to joining the light or dark side of the Force. Travel to some of your favorite planets from the vast Star Wars galaxy. Choose wisely you alone determine your path to the light or dark side.Ĭollect and strategize with your card deck, featuring characters and vehicles from Episodes I-VI.ĭraw from card packs to collect over 230 Star Wars characters that may be used to aid you in battle. Adventure through quests, participate in massive in-game events, and battle bosses and other players as you fulfill your destiny. Once your deck is built, challenge and defeat rivals in strategic battles, leveling up among the Jedi or Sith Orders.

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Collect, build, and battle! Experience the Force in a whole new way with Star Wars: Force Collection, a card battle game for iOS and Android devices.Ĭollect over 230 character cards and discover special vehicle blueprints to create the ultimate Battle Formation.

[luthienne]

Louise Glück, from Averno

“Sometimes you leave your hair at the bus station & get on the bus & as your face falls asleep against the window you realize it is all your body now, everything between you & the pieces you lost once,”

Aracelis Girmay, from Kingdom Animalia; “Portrait of the Woman As a Skein”

Marie Howe, from Magdalene: Poems; “The Girl at 3″

“She knew herself, how she had slowly, over years, become a cat, a wolf, a snake, anything but a girl. How she had wrung out her girlhood like death.”

Catherynne M. Valente, from Deathless

“Many girls lock themselves up, / become pantries, closets. / Some, like trees, grow bark, / and others, like rivers, / burble into dimpled pools.”

Eli Mandel, from “Rapunzel (Girl in a Tower)"

“Sometimes I forget. I become a volatile spirit / a butterfly out of its wings, a blooming flower / in decay. I fall in love with ghosts and cry / when they flesh out,”

Mahtem Shiferraw, from Fuschia; “Being a Woman”

Aracelis Girmay, from “Portrait of the Woman as a Skein”

“Not every girl survives the forest. / Sometimes she becomes it.”

Catherine Garbinsky, from “The Princess & the Thorns,” Even Curses End

Rebecca Solnit, A Field Guide to Getting Lost

“I was something else, not a girl, not a wolf, something blank-eyed, tired,”

Catherynne M. Valente, from The Bread We Eat in Dreams

“Shame fuses to silence letting the night maraud, killing bit by useless hope of not being this girl I was. Am. She is.”

Eimear McBride, from The Lesser Bohemians

“When I was a girl / and you were a girl / we were floral / and ungiveable. Squash / blossom. Bleeding / Hearts in the sideyard. / Vine, albino root. / Petals open only in the moonlight.”

Emily O'Neill, “Wedding Soup,” from Pelican

“Glory be to the girl who goes back for her body.”

Dominique Christina, from Star Gazer

“Cover the memory of your face with the mask of who you’ll be—come, and frighten the girl you used to be.”

Alejandra Pizarnik, from Extracting the Stone of Madness: Poems 1962-1972 (tr. Yvette Siegert), “Paths of the Mirror”

“—if I could remember a day when I was utterly a girl and not yet a woman— / but I don’t think there was a day like that for me. / When I look at the girl I was, dripping in her bathing suit, or riding her bike, pumping hard down the newly paved street, / she wears a furtive look— and even if I could go back in time to her as me, the age I am now / she would never come into my arms without believing that I wanted something.”

Marie Howe, from What the Living Do: Poems; “The Girl”

“‘How strange it is to long for one’s self!’ she said; ‘and yet I often, so often, long for myself as a young girl. I love her as one whom I had been very close to and shared life and happiness and everything with, and then had lost while I stood helpless.’”

Jens Peter Jacobsen, from Niels Lyhne

Mary Oliver, from Blue Horses; “Blueberries”

“Your bare feet became a woman's feet, always saying two things at once.”

Louise Glück, from Descending Figure

“And I must choose. War before me, and behind, a woman I do not know, the woman I could have been, a human woman, whole and hot.”

Catherynne M. Valente, from Deathless

Louise Glück, from “The Myth of Innocence”

“Beware your face, / your limbs, your walk: / Gods see these / as invitations. / Beware of swans. / They may lift you / but you will fall. / Beware of children / hatched from eggs, / unfledged and beautiful: / they will burn / cities to the ground. / Don’t be seduced by the gods, / my daughter. / Though you break / into song beneath them / you will remain broken.”

Jeannine Hall Gailey, from Becoming the Villainess; “Leda’s Mother Warns Her”

“What could I have grown up to be? What kind of human woman, what kind of simple, happy thing? If I had never been broken on a bird’s wing. If I had never seen the world naked. I want to be myself again… I want to stop knowing everything I know.”

Catherynne M. Valente, from Deathless

“But I don’t really like what I know; I don’t really care for wisdom and experience. I would rather believe, and beat out my brains, and believe some more. I do not like this safe well-armed woman I have become. The loud bleating disheveled starry reckless failed girl was a better person.”

Martha Gellhorn, from Selected Letters

“a child with seafoam eyes / and dusky skin might cry, there / goes a girl with seven thousand years / at the hollow of her throat,”

Amal El-Mohtar, from ‘Song for an Ancient City’

“I say “her,” because I don’t recall having been present, not in any meaningful sense of the word. I and the girl in the picture have ceased to be the same person. I am her outcome, the result of the life she once lived headlong; whereas she, if she can be said to exist at all, is composed only of what I remember.”

Margaret Atwood, from The Blind Assassin

“There were always in me two women at least, one woman desperate and bewildered, who felt she was drowning, and another who would leap into a scene, as upon a stage, conceal her true emotions because they were weaknesses, helplessness, despair, and present to the world only a smile, an eagerness, curiosity, enthusiasm, interest.”

Anaïs Nin, from The Diary of Anaïs Nin: Volume One, 1931-1934

“Come, let me suffer! That is worth more than viewing injustice with a serene countenance, as Shakespeare says. When I have drained my cup of bitterness, I shall feel better. I am a woman, I have affections, sympathies, and wrath.”

George Sand, in a letter to Gustave Flaubert

“Slapped the man’s face, then slapped it again, / broke the plate, broke the glass, pushed the cat / from the couch with my feet. Let the baby / cry too long, then shook him, / let the man walk, let the girl down, / wouldn’t talk, then talked too long, / lied when there was no need / and stole what others had, and never / told the secret that kept me apart from them. / Years holding on to a rope / that wasn’t there, always sorry / and righteous and wrong. Who would / follow that young woman down the narrow hallway? / Who would call her name until she turns?”

Marie Howe, “What I Did Wrong”

“She is a woman stranded at doorways and passivity is killing her. There is only one thing she can do. Make noise.”

Anne Carson, in her Introduction to Elektra

Audre Lorde, from The Black Unicorn: Poems

“Part of me died here / so another could go on.”

Marty McConnell, from “When They Say You Can’t Go Home Again, What They Mean Is You Were Never There”

“see, you will rise. / and are you less of a woman for this? / no / what is woman? / woman is this—enduring. / listen girl, you will survive this—you will. / but what fool said you had to do it silently? / here is a tip—scream”

Salma Deera, Letters From Medea, “medea gives advice to a young girl with a broken heart”

[denimbex1986]

'In his 1987 Nobel lecture, Joseph Brodsky said, anthropologically speaking, a human being is primarily a creature of aesthetics, and only after, an ethical one.

This assertion sounds true in the case of J. Robert Oppenheimer. The scientific leaps in the field of quantum physics fascinated Oppenheimer. He was driven to follow the path of Niels Bohr and Werner Heisenberg. Returning from Cambridge to expand his research in Berkeley, he fell into the arms of the American state and became part of the Manhattan Project to develop an atomic bomb.

It is comic irony that Lewis Strauss, who secretly plotted against Oppenheimer, was forced to work as a shoe salesman during the recession, while Oppenheimer achieved the distinction of Edward Teller calling him, “the great salesman of science.” This explains the moral turn in the life of Oppenheimer. Christopher Nolan likened his character to the titan Prometheus, though midway he seemed to metamorphose into Frankenstein. The hamartia of Oppenheimer’s life, Aristotle’s term for the Greek tragic hero’s fatal flaw, turned into a modern horror story.

The poet Joseph Brodsky’s distinction becomes relevant at this point: Oppenheimer abandoned the moral for the aesthetic. My scholar friend (who wishes to remain unnamed) shared the opinion that Oppenheimer, initially lost in the beauty of pure theory, transforms that aesthetic obsession into a monstrous one. She added the sharp insight: “Oppenheimer tells himself a lie. That the bomb has a moral end.” The act of lying to oneself produced a psychic wound within Oppenheimer. He lost sight of the moral aspect within his aesthetic pursuit. The lie made the transformation possible. The sublime beauty of studying quantum physics was ruined the moment Oppenheimer decided to use his expertise for a detrimental cause.

The sale of his scientific skills to the American state for making the bomb had a clear political objective for Oppenheimer: to finish off Hitler. This logic led him to overcome the moral dilemma behind his job. Any force that can destroy evil is legitimate. The destructive power of science was a seductive option to nullify the power of fascism. The Jewish Oppenheimer did not have his revenge over the Nazis (who were already defeated when the bomb was ready). The American state used it against a weakened Japan to declare its omnipotence.

Young Oppenheimer’s interest in T.S. Eliot’s ‘The Wasteland’ and the Gita has a deep connection: Eliot’s poem ends by evoking the Upanishad, “Shantih shantih shantih”, a peace of the grave that fell upon a world torn apart by the end of World War I and the flu epidemic. Oppenheimer’s translation of the line from the Gita, “I am become Death, destroyer of worlds” was what Krishna said about his divinity being time itself that destroys the world at will. It was meant to exhort a weak-kneed Arjuna (who did not want to kill his cousins, seniors and kinsmen), reminding him of his duty as a warrior to prepare him for battle. The figure of divine incarnation and warrior-prince got fused into the scientist who invented a weapon that could kill millions.

Oppenheimer’s interest in the evocative moments in the two texts shows a certain death wish he carried within himself. When you are hell-bent to destroy the enemy, you are also out to kill a part of yourself through the act of retributive justice.

Oppenheimer was not able to distinguish between the ethical difference between annihilating a system of power and annihilating people. This failure, however, is an intimate part of the modern West’s history. It produced ideas of the state – fascism, communism and imperial democracies – where the other within and outside one’s ideological fold was demonised as the absolute enemy and was meant to be exterminated. Making the bomb to be used for war, Oppenheimer not just used science as a tool for destruction, but created an ideology of science as divine power that could kill uncountable numbers of people as much as it could heal the world.

It has been acknowledged that Nolan did not glorify war by not showing the bomb being dropped on the two Japanese cities. Still, as my scholar friend pointed out, Nolan could not prevent himself from indulging in Hollywood’s fetish for spectacle. There was a clear lack of self-restraint. The slow-motion explosion of the bomb that filled the screen numbed the audience, and engulfed it into the terror of its silence.

Contrast it with Abbas Kiarostami, who did not display the earthquakes that rocked Iran in Koker Trilogy in order to portray its psycho-social repercussion on the lives of residents who suffered its impact. Kiarostami’s art of filmmaking is deeply informed by his ethical hesitation.

Nolan had more reasons to hold back from depicting the technological grandeur of an instrument of death. The temptation to recreate the spectacle is not simply an aesthetic flaw.

The euphoria of the scientific feat was viscerally exhibited by bodies of people stomping the floor of the hall celebrating Oppenheimer. It announced the coming of a new crowd in world history that took nationalist pride in mass destruction of other people. Oppenheimer looked conflicted, remorseful and eaten by guilt. But there were no indications to suggest he completely regretted his success. Truman, embodying the masculine pragmatism of the American state, lampooned Oppenheimer as “crybaby”. No one cared about the real babies in Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Such is the moral indifference of war. It causes deafness of the soul.'

[magicalmerry]

~The Gods~

So if anyone reading this follows my blog closely at all, you’ll know that I started down the path of Norse Paganism a little under one year ago. It began with being called by Freyja, and since then I have started researching and delving a little deeper into the world that is Heathenism. I still have a long way to go in my readings and research, but I am proud of the progress I have made in a year. In this span of time, I have connected with one of my partner’s and mine’s now roommates, who is of the Norse Pagan variety, and my partner has also come to the realization that, he too, has been called to Heathenism by the gods, and has started his own path.

I have been very fortunate to have struck such a bond with the Lady Freyja so quickly, and after being reunited with her, I am excited to see where that bond takes me in my practice. Though the other day, I was lounging while reading my copy of Norse Mythology by Niel Gaiman, and made it through a few of the myths, one being the story of the Builder who was challenged by the gods to build a wall for Asgard. What stuck in my mind about that story was the gods discussing among themselves about what to do each step of the way. Then, just yesterday, I had a video suggested to me on YouTube by the channel The Wisdom of Odin about the 5 things he wished he knew going into Norse Paganism, which led me to a video about him communing with Freyja for the first time (since I’m always looking for videos or media about how other interact with her). This YouTuber wears an oath-bracelet, or a torque, in his videos.

Last night, my partner and I went to bed extremely early and had a solid sleep for the first time in a few nights, and I’m not sure if the dream I had was my brain processing reading my book and watching these videos, or if I was sitting amongst the gods.

The dream was short, or at least what I can remember of it. I remember seeing a golden torque bracelet, which I recognized as Odin’s Draupnir ring, wrapped around a muscular forearm (which I know they are typically worn around the wrist, the bicep, or as a necklace, but this one was right in the middle of the forearm), so I deduced that I was seeing Odin’s arm. I caught a glimpse of white, long hair, seeming to belong to the same person, a strong, older man; wrinkles from wisdom but still harboring the body of a warrior. The man I assumed was Odin, seemed to be discussing something with me prior to the scene, I could hear a deep voice but not what it said, and my reply was in a strong tone, “Alright, but we must discuss it with Þórr (which I pronounced Thor in that very traditional Icelandic/Scandinavian accent with the hard th at the beginning and that almost oo sounding ó with the rolled r).” After saying to Odin, we needed to discuss the matter with Thor, I caught a glimpse of bright red hair waving in the wind, much like the red/golden sheen I have seen when spending time with Freyja, however I knew the red hair belonged to Thor this time. Then the dream ended.

Right before sitting down to type this out, I went and consulted my runes for confirmation about the dream. I pulled a small handful of runes and cast them on my altar cloth, again only one landing in the middle like in my ~Offerings ii Update~. I picked up the stone and it was blank, meaning I had cast the Wyrd rune, or Odin’s rune. It seems that the Allfather may have acknowledged my dream or presence, though I did not get the same strong feeling in my chest about this dream as I did with my dealings with Freyja. It was more like I was looking in, or playing a part in the dream as opposed to actually speaking with the gods as myself, if that makes sense. Perhaps I was sitting in Freyja’s place in the dream? I still feel as if this might have been my brain processing information, but the Wyrd rune did appear, and it seems that Odin may have cast his eye in my direction.

What do you think? Have any of you had dealings similar to this? If so, I would love to hear them.

[micahammon]

All the walls are crumbling because they were never real

I’m moving into belief. I’ve spent my whole life trying to understand the nature of life and identify the construction of right and wrong, truth and illusion. It’s a fascinating process and I know I’ll never be done with it, and that’s exciting and makes life interesting. But I feel like I’ve come to a point in my process of discovery something like scientists did when they discovered quantum physics. 

In Newtonian physics everything has a cause and effect. There exists a linear relationship between action and consequence. That is true and will continue to be so forever. But Newtonian physics cannot describe everything that happens in the material world. When the scale of matter becomes really small, on the level of atoms, Newtonian physics no longer succeeds as a theory. Atoms are governed by different laws, and quantum theory, as bizarre and unintuitive as it is, continues to be proven true.

Physical reality is made up of two theories which have yet to be reconciled. Although they appear to be incompatible, compatible they must be. The physical world and everything we see with the naked eye is built on the foundation of the irrational and the impossible. The particles which we are made of can move within and without time, be in two places at the same time, and seemingly violate the universal speed limit--the speed of light. Particles can be physical matter which take up space in the physical world, and at the same time, be a wave--like a radio wave if you will. Somehow reality is built upon this impossibility.

"Reality is far fetched. The truth is always a long shot."

As modern humans, we are in a precarious place. A detached place. Our roots are no longer in the soil of the earth which gives us life. We are living in the world of biological theory, political theory, economic theory, etc.--which all function very well and have allowed us to advance incredibly once understood and applied. What is the logical conclusion from this process?

We learn natural laws that we might better understand spiritual laws.

I remember in the first computer science class I took at university, my teacher drew a picture on the board, something like the following...

And then he asked the question, “What’s missing?”. He answered his own question by saying “antimatter”. Then he filled in the “antimatter” absent from view, something like this...

Note: I’m a bad artist but I tried to draw the inverse of what was originally visible. 

So what’s the logical conclusion of reality? Reality is a paradox. There’s always a catch.

Note: The teacher then went on to name laughter as an example of something behaving like antimatter. In this regard, we can theorize that antimatter comes in to play where we have inflection points. That’s useful to think about in the context of the choices we make, day by day.

Note 2: Antimatter, which cannot be seen, “refers to sub-atomic particles [that] have properties opposite those of normal matter.” It’s useful to note that this is in the quantum world, where perhaps, we could say that everything there is existing simultaneously.

I think the first paradox was in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve were commanded to multiply and replenish the earth. They were also commanded not to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. The problem which may not be obvious depending on your brand of Christianity is that Adam and Eve apparently could not keep both commandments at the same time. They were in a state of innocence and could not procreate without first creating the fall through eating of the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. 

I’ve heard it said that what may appear to be contradictory to us is not to God, and that somehow He can balance two conditions in perfect harmony which appear mutually exclusive. I don’t know how God could do it in the example of the Garden of Eden, but I do think we should learn to try it in other areas.

I am nothing. I am everything.

Helaman 12:7 O how great is the nothingness of the children of men; yea, even they are less than the dust of the earth.

John 10:34 Jesus answered them, “Is it not written in your law, ‘I said, “You are gods”’?

Through the course of a day we may need to remind ourselves of either of these quotes. What’s important is that we have to choose to put the concept into use in order to humble or inspire ourselves as needed. We have to draw up the belief then let it guide.

All truth is paradox.

My brother once responded to the above statement by saying that the paradox of truth serves as the fuel for free agency. That is an extremely instructive comment, which makes me think of Einstein’s dissatisfaction with the then emerging theory of quantum physics. When Einstein analyzed and documented the workings of the universe, he did so from the perspective of trying to understand the mind of God. He disbelieved the theory of quantum mechanics presented by Niels Bohr; the same theory that today continues to be scientifically verifiable. What he objected to was that in this explanation of the universe, the natural world became a lot more random. It seemed to diminish the role of the Master Designer. Einstein’s famous quote was “God does not play dice (with the universe)”.

I sometimes think that quantum physics only appears mysterious and random to us because we cannot see the complete picture, we are only seeing the effects of things in the physical world and perhaps there are other counterparts like antimatter that we can’t see (but can detect) and even beyond that, other counterparts we can’t even detect with clever testing.

On the other hand, there is beauty in accepting the concept of an “uncreate Reality” that can represent the quantum state. We in the Newtonian state have become the created Reality which “shows forth in our beings the uncreate Reality.” That is to say, our physical world and our physical selves are manifestations of the uncreated reality. 

Alma 30:44 ...all things denote there is a God; yea, even the earth, and all things that are upon the face of it, yea, and its motion, yea, and also all the planets which move in their regular form do witness that there is a Supreme Creator...

What we see here in this world is a manifestation of God and the uncreate Reality beyond. Said in different words we have the following:

“For the Source of All Life created the worlds by dividing Its Unmanifest Unity into the manifesting Duality, and we that are created show forth in our beings the uncreate Reality. Each living soul has its roots in the Unmanifest and draws thence its life, and by going back to the Unmanifest we find fulness of life.“

The uncreated reality represents a primordial place from which the physical world is drawn into being from. This place we could liken to the quantum state. I make this comparison because when we can understand a concept in the real world, it helps us to have the faith or belief to put it into practice for our own benefit.

To address Einstein’s concerns, quantum mechanics may actually be evidence of God’s will to give us more free agency by providing an uncreate Reality with which we can interact. For one, It provides some “randomness” whereby everything that happens is not simply a predestined linear result of cause and effect--thereby, we cannot blame every thing that happens as a direct consequence of God’s original first act of creation (whereby He would have known the exact consequences of every single thing to ever happen, and the only intrigue in all of it would be our discovery of the result). Secondly, and more importantly, the interconnection of the quantum and Newtonian world can become for us a primordial wellspring from which we too can create. I am suggesting that it is belief and faith which allows us to materialize things in the physical world. Even as God himself does. 

Hebrews 11:3 Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God...

Lastly, the context of reality, or truth being a paradox further bolsters free agency because it provides choice, even as it did for our first parents. The choices you choose to make are based on what you first choose to believe. In the paradox, you are able to believe whichever aspect you choose to focus on because it also has basis in reality.

I don’t speak of the choice between good and evil, but rather the choice between beliefs. Belief is a tool you can use to do good or harmful things.

I think it’s important to iterate that prerogative is a part of free agency and choice. 

Doctrine and Covenants 58:27 Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness.

We know we should do many good things of our own free will and choice but those choices will naturally be more oriented to our own dispositions. The challenge is not to confuse limiting beliefs about ourselves with what is our true nature and disposition. In fact, what I am getting at is that we should use faith and belief to overcome our limitings habits, beliefs and worldview.

I reckon that beliefs become powerful as they connect to internal desire. Since that is the case, it is instructive to follow the path of our own personal orientation and if there are lessons to be learned, we will learn them much, much faster if we are making the choice for ourselves rather than merely trying to follow someone else’s instruction. That’s because belief is the thing that supercharges our experience.

With belief in play we can properly channel the “why” to our actions and attendant effects in the real world. If we err, the “why” will be there to make clear the error of our ways. Notwithstanding, in the middle of all of this is God’s intervention to steer us from unneeded error if we stray off course, and which can be greatly aided by our responsiveness to His Spirit. 

Let’s introduce something which is not a paradox but tends to be polemic.

Brigham Young said that “we live far beneath our privileges” because we fail to seek and receive the guidance the Lord wants to give us in our spiritual and temporal affairs.

This instruction is meant to help us lay claim to what might be ours but it can also paralyze us if we don’t engage with the belief that we will actually receive it. Successfully gaining access to guidance from the Lord is usually based on the belief and faith we put into it. The important thing is that we need to use belief to create the reality and then it follows that we will receive the guidance. However, we also have to put belief and faith into a great many other things of which we proceed with in lieu of guidance because...

Doctrine and Covenants 58:26 For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things...

We must build and develop our ability to seek and understand guidance from the Lord but most times His guidance works like a signpost as we navigate. It helps us stay on course but there are a million decisions we must make for ourselves along the way by “using [our] best judgement”. 

In my experience the contrast between God having a personal prerogative and objective in the management of choices and not having a prerogative is plainly evident in the line between church affairs and private affairs. When it comes to the administration of callings and duties within the Church I have witnessed an extremely high level of involvement from the Lord. If you pay attention you can see that He is almost constantly involved and directing. The Lord really, really cares about His work. 

As soon as you move away from the realm of the administration of His Church, guidance is much more sparse. It truly feels like our personal lives are meant to be a learning experience through trial and error--a sort of experimentation. It does help us develop our own capabilities bit by bit. When you think about it, that really makes more sense anyways. Perhaps it also allows us to make mistakes without the additional condemnation we might receive if we had access to more from beyond the veil. 

On the other hand, as I consider what will happen in the future as the world is thrown into turmoil and we all begin the work of building Zion I reckon that the line between church affairs and private affairs will become almost indecipherable--and I know that there will be an abundance of guidance as such in order to complete God’s work. There is something to be said for living like that already, here and now.

Gospel of Thomas 22: When you make the two into one, and when you make the inner like the outer and the outer like the inner, and the upper like the lower, and when you make male and female into a single one, so that the male will not be male nor the female be female...

The world is separating from a longstanding known reality. Social systems are being dismantled with an intention to reengineer them. Truth and science have become weaponized. We are dependent on technology more and more. Algorithms and big data will rule our lives. Breakages will occur. Power grids will be threatened. IT infrastructure will be compromised. Natural resources will become scarce. There will be natural disasters. Financial systems will collapse. Some of these things will be unplanned, others intentional.

I’ve always thought it so peculiar the human creature existing on this planet. All the animals on the earth have been endowed with instincts which directly provision their survival. Many young animals are taught survival skills during infancy, that is true, but even if they lose their mother, their instincts will guide them the rest of the way.

Humans on the other hand are nearly helpless without the knowledge passed on from generation to generation. At this point we’ve already lost our connection to mother earth. In our quest to master nature we have also sought to remove ourselves from nature--mother nature and also what we might call human nature.   

As the walls crumble around us and the very ground is swept from under our feet, our only choice is to evolve and learn to fly.

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.”

Faith and belief will enable many to do things which we previously knew to be impossible in the Newtonian world. To evolve means to move beyond the structures (spiritual and otherwise) we have upheld for sake of dogma. Those structures will be shaken. God’s work will not fail but we are to learn not to look beyond the mark. Ultimately, to evolve will result in having our natures changed into that resembling God as we learn to create/do through faith and belief. 

For those whose trust remains in the shifting sands of the world’s social, economic, political and even scientific structures--they will be left without root and branch to stand on. 

We’ll have to act for ourselves rather than be acted upon.  We have to use faith and belief to power those actions or else it will be hollow inside and our hearts will ultimately fail us.

Luke 21:26 Men's hearts failing them for fear, and for looking after those things which are coming on the earth...

Let’s go back to the world of very small particles...

If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed...

Matthew 17:19-20 Then came the disciples to Jesus apart, and said, Why could not we cast him out? And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.

I’ve always thought it so curious that basically the whole point of our existence on this earth is to learn to exercise faith and belief. Before we can really do anything, the important first step is starting with a real belief that we can do the thing we set out to do. When we supercharge our actions with belief, the universe responds. 

I posit that we on this earth are here to learn to become co-creators with God--creating through faith just as God does.

Sometimes we are able to energize belief through our belief in others, but it’s not always enough, as I believe was the case with the disciples of Jesus referenced in the example above and Oliver Cowdery desiring to participate in translating the Book of Mormon. 

Doctrine and Covenants 9:11 Behold, it was expedient when you commenced; but you feared, and the time is past, and it is not expedient now;

Let it be noted that this was free agency in action, since it wasn’t in the original design of God that Oliver Cowdry participate in the translation, but it would have been permitted if he had faith enough.

Because God wanted Joseph to translate, He gave him extra strength to be able to do it.

Doctrine and Covenants 9:11 For, do you not behold that I have given unto my servant Joseph sufficient strength, whereby it is made up?

To aid with the translation of the Book of Mormon Joseph received special seer stones called the Urim and Thummim. What’s curious is that Joseph often used his own seer stone rather than strictly relying on the Urim and Thummim. Eventually Joseph had enough faith to do without seer stones altogether as he continued to receive revelations. I believe that the Urim and Thummim were there to build his belief and make up for his strength until he was able to fully energize belief in himself, his ability.

Believe that you have received it, and it will be yours

One thing that hurts belief is by having a narrow view based on the here and now. When we think of how things are supposed to happen in the Newtonian world we limit the power of the supernatural quantum, timeless uncreate Reality which is boundless. We have to allow for the uncreate Reality, unintuitive non-Newtonian world to intercede. We connect to this state though the particle of belief.

As long as I believe in myself I find I can do certain things. If I ceased to believe in myself, I think I should just crumble into dust, like an unwrapped mummy.

I have said all of this in order to say this, we need to use belief daily in order to shape our lives in the way that we truly wish them to be. Our lives have ended up the way they are precisely because of the beliefs we have engaged about ourselves, others and the nature of reality. If you say that you belief that life can be grand and beautiful but you spend your days dejected and depressed, then you aren’t engaging the grand and beautiful beliefs. Whether we like it or not, beliefs are constantly directing our lives. 

“The basic difference between an ordinary man and a warrior is that a warrior takes everything as a challenge, while an ordinary man takes everything either as a blessing or a curse.”

There are indeed blessings and curses in our lives but we cannot ascribe our current condition to merely a result of those two things. In addition, we need to enlarge the gratitude we feel for the blessings and overlook where possible the curses. Feeling gratitude will enlarge our beliefs and strengthen the conduit between us and the Divine.

When we engage in belief in order to shape and direct our lives we cannot merely state a belief and then forget about it. We have to return to the belief day after day.

I have been reading about 45 books a year for the last 5 years. I set a goal on a website which helps track my progress and keeps me motivated. The first year I started the reading challenge I set my goal as 100 books for the year. I didn’t have experience and I didn’t really know what that meant though. It was an idle, pie in the sky wish. I didn’t return to the goal frequently. I forgot about it most of the year and I finished with 33 books that year.

That reminds me of Oliver Cowdry’s wish to participate in the translation of the Book of Mormon. If he had more experience or at least consistent belief he could have succeeded. The same was true of me. Experience does help, in so far as it helps to reduce fear since we have better bearings on the task before us. Perhaps fear is like antimatter.

That’s the tricky thing with belief and faith. If we have enough faith we could actually move mountains. But most of us probably don’t have enough belief to make that happen. But we could and that promise is available for us, but perhaps we misunderstand something about belief. 

Mark 11:23-24 (NIV) Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

The NIV translation makes more clear something which has caught on with new age spirituality, like in books such as The Secret, and others which profess the power of manifesting in our lives by using the so-called law of attraction.

New age spirituality has brought us the power of meditation and living mindfully, which have slowly come into mainstream Christianity and that includes the LDS church. 

And indeed, meditation and mindfulness are key parts of nurturing belief as I am prescribing. The current problem we have with incubating belief is that, as mentioned above, we already have many beliefs which are like weeds choking out the good belief that we want to use to empower our lives. We live barely cognizant of the incessant, mind-numbing chatter going on about our heads. You can consider all the thoughts that jump into our minds as competing beliefs. It’s a battlefield for our minds and our empowering beliefs may fall casualty if we don’t learn to quiet the mind and focus. That enables us to act for ourselves rather than to be acted upon.

The first thing we need to do with the mind is wash it, clean it up, not only once or twice a day as we do for the body but in all our waking moments.

Similarly...

Doctrine & Covenants 121:45 let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly...

A way which helps me practice a chosen belief is to do an experiment of thought. What I mean is that on a given day I may tell myself that I am doing an experiment of thinking that day and that helps me to suspend disbelief as I am merely there to analyze and watch the results of what happens, rather than to prove veracity or to gauge the level of real belief. I did one experiment of imagining each person as I would my own self.

Mark 12:31 love thy neighbor as thyself

I really did feel something wonderful that day.

That’s one reason I say that...

life works best when undertaken as an experiment 

Sometimes if we put too much pressure on the act itself, we enlarge the importance of a thing beyond what it truly is. We have to maintain calm levity and not worry about the result; to laugh instead of get caught up in an act’s undue significance. In this way we can shake off a thousand mistakes of ego and bad humor which sabotage us.

the fatal flaw is that average men take themselves too seriously

The balance has been described this way...

Thus a man of knowledge endeavors, and sweats, and puffs, and if one looks at him he is just like any ordinary man, except that the folly of his life is under control. [He regards] nothing as being more important than anything else.  A man of knowledge [can thusly] choose any act, and act it out as if it matters to him. 

So to apply all of this in a practical way let me tell you my plans. I am making and setting goals, big lofty goals. I am aiming for 5 years to enter more fully into the vision I see for my life. I will meditate and pray each day and return again and again to the beliefs--multiple times each day in fact--which I think are necessary to empower me to achieve my goals. I don’t know exactly how things will happen, but I do believe in the scriptures referenced, including the very words of Jesus Christ. I consider it already done because I have picked up the rod, which at the far end connects to the result. The point of access where I grip the rod is belief.

Update Apr 22, 2021: This video supports my view of free will and quantum mechanics. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMb00lz-IfE

[ghostsray]

Ch8: Lost

(late chapter...again. turns out after updating daily for a week it gets pretty draining so i probably wont be doing that anymore. i wont abandon my boy! just update more slowly from now on)

(first - prev - next) (AO3)

It had been about a day since Niel began wandering through the Ghost Zone. It was hard to tell for sure, especially when there was no sun and his watch was only visible in his human form, but it certainly felt like it.

Niel knew that Skulker could have easily found him ages ago. He had tracked him down once and probably had his ecto-signature to track him again, yet so far the hunter never appeared in his path. That meant either Skulker was letting him go in spite of Vlad's orders (unlikely), or Vlad decided to give Niel some space.

That was fine by him, Niel thought as he kicked a stray pebble floating in the air. He didn't even want to go back to Vlad.

He was hungry. Even though he was a ghost, he was still part human, and that human part was aching for food. Niel hadn't eaten anything in the Ghost Zone because he wasn't sure if the ghost plants he found were edible or not and he wasn't in the mood to commit his first act of cannibalism.

Despite his sour mood, he still refused to return to the human world. He would rather outrun monstrous ghost whom territories he accidentally stepped foot in than face Vlad again. Sure, he already missed a day of school, but that problem seemed small from his point of view.

Well, that, and he was utterly lost. He knew the location of neither the Fenton portal nor Vlad's portal. It wasn't his fault he didn't realize that wandering out so far would eventually lead him too far away from either portal to spot by eye. Okay, so maybe it was his fault.

A shuddering, deep moan entered his ears and vibrated his guts. Niel sighed and readied himself to fight or flee from whatever ghost decided to attack him this time. Not even a second passed before said ghost appeared in his vision. It looked like the skeleton of a humongous whale.

Niel flew back and lit his fists with pink ectoplasm, but before he could act, a small figure whizzed past him toward the skeletal whale. The ghost was short, had green hair, wore a silly pirate outfit...and he was a kid! There was no way he could have been any older than nine before he died, yet he held up a toy sword and puffed his chest out at the much larger ghost animal.

"Avast! Begone, beast!" he shouted and stabbed at the whale's thick bones. Niel watched with inquisitive horror. He had no doubt that the whale could crush the tiny ghost boy with one swing of its flipper--and yet it appeared to make a great show of turning over and lying defeated after the boy thrust his sword, even somehow raising a flipper over its head melodramatically...were the two ghosts playing?

The ghost boy's eyes darted to Niel, only then noticing the halfa's existence. His eyes widened and he said with a grin, "A new playbuddy!"

Niel floated back in surprise as the boy suddenly threw away his toy sword and brought himself up to Niel's face. The whale looked disgruntled, like it was unhappy with being so quickly ignored.

Now that the boy was up close, he seemed to be studying Niel's appearance. "You look a lot like that Phantom guy. Are you a fanboy or something?"

The first question humans often asked Niel when they noticed his similarity to Danny was whether they were related. The first question ghosts asked when they noticed the similarity was...that. Genes rarely mattered for a ghost's appearance--instead, that was largely influeneced by how they viewed themselves. Niel had even passed by a more modern ghost earlier who had asked if he was a Phantom kinnie.

"I'm not," Niel answered with a huff. "This is just how I looked like before I died--minus the blue skin, red eyes, and fangs, of course."

The boy rolled his eyes exaggeratingly and said, "Dude, it's okay. I love to play pretend, too!"

"I'm not--" Niel began, but he was interrupted when the ghost thrust his hand out and said, "I'm Youngblood! I fought the real Phantom before, you know--but then again, who didn't?"

Niel didn't know why Danny would have fought a child, but he gingerly shook Youngblood's hand and said, "I'm Niel. Not a Phantom kinnie."

"Whatever you say, Niel." Youngblood beamed and added, "Hey, even if you didn't choose to look like Phantom on purpose--which I still don't believe--this is perfect for a game! I can pretend to be a ghost attacking the humans, and you pretend to be the nasty Phantom stopping me."

"Is that really a game ghosts play?" Niel asked, smiling in spite of himself.

"It is now," Youngblood responded with a grin. He turned to the skeletal whale and shouted, "Bones! You be the human I'm about to kill!"

Niel subtly grimaced at Youngblood's suggestion. If he really found it normal to kill humans, at least Niel now knew why Danny might have fought him before.

Just as Niel was wondering how a whale would play as a human, the skeleton began to disassemble and shift into something smaller. A minute later, Youngblood's friend was now a human skeleton.

"I told you to be a human, not a human skeleton!" Youngblood whined. "Lots of ghosts look like human skeletons!"

The skeleton rolled his eyes and said, "You know my shapeshifting doesn't allow me to have skin."

Youngblood puffed his cheeks angrily but didn't argue. Then he lit up and said, "Wait, I have a better idea for someone Phantom would fight!"

As Niel watched, his pirate outfit disappeared to be replaced by a fancy suit that looked exactly like the one Vlad wore. His green hair was magically slicked back. Bones seemed to have known what Youngblood wanted him to do before he could tell him, because he turned into a cat skeleton that looked like how Maddie the cat might have been without flesh and fur.

Niel felt his stomach churn. Here he was in the Ghost Zone to avoid meeting Vlad, and now Youngblood made himself look like a kiddie version of the man. Before Niel's dread could grow, Youngblood released a comically evil laugh and said in a fake British accent, "So we meet yet again, Phantom."

"Vlad doesn't talk in a British accent," Niel said before he could stop himself.

"Who the heck is Vlad? I'm just pretending to be a cliche evil rich guy."

Was Vlad really that cliche? Sure, Sam had told Niel that rich people were evil (which was a weird thing to say when both she and Niel were rich themselves), but he never thought of Vlad as a British Bond villain.

"Well?" Youngblood prompted. "Are you going to attack me or not, Phantom?"

Niel's body felt like freezing up. Even if Youngblood didn't intend to look like Vlad, the similarity was still there. Niel didn't like being called Phantom, either. It made him think of all the ways Vlad compared him to Danny.

Fake Maddie the cat swished his boney tail and said, "I don't think he wants to play with us."

"What!" Youngblood exclaimed. "Why not? I get to pick the game and everyone has to play with me!"

"I don't want to play," Niel admitted once his throat managed to work again.

Youngblood scowled. Niel half expected him to start attacking him, but instead he turned his back to him with crossed arms and loudly stated, "You're even more boring than the real Phantom."

Niel was trying to find a way to respond to that when a loud growl approached them. It couldn't have been Bones because he was still in his small cat form. The skeleton arched his back and hissed, "There's a ghost beast approaching."

Rather than react with fear, Youngblood lit up with excitement. "Finally! I get to hunt down something real instead of you pretending badly to die when I hit you!" His "evil rich guy" outfit was replaced by a hunter's outfit, and his skeleton friend shifted into a grayhound. Youngblood held up his shotgun (the kid had a shotgun?!?!) and flew eagerly to where the noise came from.

Niel cursed under his breath and flew after him. Evil or not, he wasn't about to allow a kid to get mauled by a ghost beast under his watch.

The beast turned out to be a fish. A very large fish that stretched a mile long. Whatever goldfish died to form this ghost, it must have had a big ego when it was alive.

When Youngblood saw that the ghost was an aquatic animal, his outfit changed into a fisherman's, and his gun became a harpoon. He eagerly approached the huge fish and aimed his weapon.

The spear hit the fish--and was promptly knocked off one of its scales harmlessly. The fish turned one large eye to stare at Youngblood, and Niel somehow got the feeling it wasn't happy with the child.

Youngblood finally seemed to realize that maybe angering a ghost ten times his size wasn't such a great idea. He gulped as the ghost fish began to glow.

"Uh...nice fishie?"

The fish's eye glowed red before shooting out a beam of ectoplasm. Youngblood screamed. Niel jumped into action and shoved him out of harm's way just in time, the fiery ectoplasm grazing the end of his cape.

"Dead fish with lazer vision," Niel muttered. "Sure, why not?"

He looked down at Youngblood only to see that the boy wasn't there. He turned around and saw that Bones was now a cheetah, and Youngblood had ridden on his skeletal back and was now riding far away from the ghost fish.

"Bye Niel thanks for saving me have fun with the fishie!" Youngblood shouted as he and Bones shrunk to a distant speck.

"Hey! Are you really going to leave me?!" Niel shouted back angrily, but Youngblood was gone. If the kid weren't already dead, Niel would definitely have killed him.

Niel gulped and looked back at the fish, whose glow hadn't become any dimmer. Were fish teeth always that sharp, or did ectoplasm make its teeth sharper?

Niel screamed and fled as the ghost pursued him with more lazers. He was just about to accept that he was going to die via dead mutant fish when the animal released a pained sound. Niel looked back and saw a spear embedded in a chink between its scales that Youngblood had failed to find. At least, Niel thought it was a spear, but he looked closer and realized it was actually a long, sharp shard of glowing ice. More ice appeared from nowhere and impaled the fish, and Niel turned around to see where it had come from.

A group of furry humanoids with white pelts and icy-blue snouts approached. The fish flailed around, ectoplasm leaking from its wounds, but eventually it stopped and...Niel would say "died", but he wasn't sure if that was an accurate description when it was already a ghost. Its glow did dim to nonexistent, though.

The furry ghosts--Niel decided they looked like yeti--came to the fish and grabbed the ice out of its ectoplasmic flesh. One of them wearing a cape turned around and looked at Niel. He (Niel assumed it was a he) looked terrifying. His eyes were yellow, his teeth looked sharp between his lips, and his arm--his arm was a bunch of bones frozen in ice!

Niel trembled under the ghost yeti's gaze, ready to flee, but the ghost didn't attack. Instead, he squinted his eyes and asked, "Great One?"

"Huh?" Niel replied.

"No, that is not right," the yeti said, still observing him. "Your skin is different. You must be someone else--but you look just like him."

"You mean Danny?" Niel asked. He didn't know why someone would call Danny a Great One, but the yeti's expression seemed to confirm his guess.

"You know him? Ah, but of course. You must be a fan."

"I'm not a Phantom fanboy," Niel protested, but the ghost threw his head back and laughed.

"Do not worry! You could say we are fans of him, too. After all, he was the one who defeated Pariah Dark and saved the Ghost Zone!"

Niel didn't know who Pariah Dark was, but he guessed that answered the question of calling Danny a great one.

Niel's eyes darted to the doubly-dead fish. The ghost followed his vision and smiled. "A succeful hunt, if I may say so myself."

"You guys are hunters? Like Skulker?"

"Skulker?" The ghost seemed appalled at that comparison. "Goodness, no! We only hunt animal ghosts--and for food, not prizes!"

"Ghosts need to eat?"

The ghost smiled sheepishly and said, "Well, we do not need to...but ectoplasmic meat does taste pretty good." He waved an icy hand and added, "Anyway, it is fine. Ghosts cannot really die. The animal will reform after we eat it."

To Niel, the idea of being eaten and then reforming sounded worse than simply being eaten once, but he was too intimidated by the yeti to say so. While his friends began pulling the fish carcass to where he guessed was their lair, Mr. Ice Arm lingered by Niel and said, "If you do not mind me asking, what were you doing in the middle of nowhere by yourself?"

I wouldn't have been by myself if that little brat hadn't betrayed me, Niel thought, but he pushed down his bitterness and answered, "I'm lost."

"Lost?" The yeti stroked his chin and said, "We have a map back at our lair. Perhaps you can borrow it long enough to return yourself home."

"You want me to follow you to your lair?" Niel asked, then narrowed his eyes and added, "This isn't a trick so you can eat me, is it?"

The yeti's eyes widened, and he said, "Of course not! I already told you, animal ghosts only. And besides, any friend of Phantom's is a friend of ours."

Niel was beginning to realize that these yeti were the only ghosts he'd come across so far who had neither attacked him nor flipped him off, which meant they must be a rare breed of good ghosts. It seemed a little strange that a nine-year-old child would be Danny's enemy while a towering heap of fur and muscles was a friend, but that was how things were.

"Yeah, okay," Niel answered. "I'll follow you, I guess."

The yeti smiled, then said, "Oh! But you cannot follow a stranger to their lair, can you?" He offered his icy arm and introduced, "My name is Frostbite."

"Niel," Niel said and accepted his handshake. Frostbite's hand was cold, but his smile was warm.

Frostbite's lair was in a freezing part of the Ghost Zone--and considering how cold the Ghost Zone generally was, that was saying something. Niel shivered as the coolness seeped past his ghost form, but he hid his discomfort as best as he could. Frostbite's friends had cut the ghost fish apart and served its pieces in dishes on a long dining table outdoors. Many similar-looking ghosts had come out of caves and seated themselves around the table excitedly. Niel was surprised to see that some of them looked like children--little yeti children, of course.

Niel was starving, but he wasn't sure if eating ghost food would help. Would it satiate his half-human stomach, or would he need human food to be full?

"Is something the matter?" Frostbite asked, noticing his hesitation.

Niel ran a hand through his hair nervously and said, "This is a weird request, but do you have any human world food?"

He expected Frostbite to look at him weird, but instead the ghost chuckled and said, "Ah, you are a young ghost, are you not?"

"I'm not that young," Niel said, automatically growing defensive of his age.

Frostbite chuckled again and placed a hand around Niel's shoulders. "It is all right, I know it takes some ghosts a long time to adjust. Luckily for you, I do have human food!"

"You do?" Niel said, equal parts relieved and surprised.

"Of course. I told you we are Phantom's allies, did I not? Sometimes the Great One visits with his human friends, so we are always prepared in case a human visits us."

Just like Frostbite promised, the yeti tribe did store a stash of fruits and bread from the human world, which they placed upon the table on Frostbite's request. None of the ghosts seemed that interested in the food, but Niel scarfed it down hungrily. He had been allowed a seat at the table, and if anyone found that strange, they didn't show. Most of the adults ignored him, although a few children asked him questions curiously.

"Why do you look like Phantom?" one of them said.

"Genes," Niel replied.

The ghost scrunched her face up and asked, "What do pants have to do with anything?"

"No, not jeans. Genes with a G, as in DNA."

"DNA is made of pants?"

Niel decided that describing genetics to a ghost was too hard and let the subject drop.

After the meal was over, Frostbite led Niel to a cave. He wasn't kidding when he said they were fans of Danny--the walls were covered with paintings depicting his great defeat over Pariah Dark. Some of them were poorly scribbled and honestly looked a bit funny (there was one drawing of his face in particular that seemed to stare into Niel's soul).

Still, standing inside a literal shrine for Phantom, Niel felt a pang of insignificance. Vlad had expected Niel to become better than Danny, but his original had done so many amazing feats that Niel was certain he could never overcome. How was he supposed to compare to the "savior of the Ghost Zone" who defeated the king of ghosts? Yes, he knew he was his own person, but he still couldn't help but feel like a rip-off of someone greater.

"Young ghost?" Frostbite called from where he stood by a tunnel leading to a deeper cave. "Come, the map is this way."

Niel swallowed back his emotions and followed the ghost. They emerged in a room full of maps and compasses, but Frostbite ignored those in favor of a glowing chest in the center. He opened it and pulled out a scroll that unfurled to reveal a complete map of the Ghost Zone.

"A ghost artifact," Niel said, sensing the map's power.

"Correct," Frostbite confirmed. "The Infi-map can take you anywhere in the realms. All you have to do is tell it where to go."

Niel stepped forward to hold the map, but he stopped and hesitated. He thought about the cave next to them showing Danny's greatest achievements. He thought about those times Vlad spent training Niel, barking at him with contempt about how much he needed to improve to even be near Danny's level, how Danny was better than him unless he worked harder. He thought about Youngblood dressing like Vlad because he thought that was how a villain looked, and he thought about Vlad's uncaring eyes as he watched Ellie destabilize.

"Well?" Frostbite asked when Niel hadn't moved to take the map. Niel lowered his head and rubbed at his arm.

"Um," he said with a small voice, "do you think I could stay here a while longer?"

Frostbite softened, and he put the map back into its chest. "Of course. You are free to stay here for as long as you like." As he closed the chest's lid, he tapped a claw against it then said, "You are not just lost in location, are you?"

"No," Niel admitted sadly.

Frostbite wrapped his non-ice arm around Niel and gently brought him to his chest. His fur was incredibly soft, and Niel found himself melting into his pelt comfortingly.

"I will not pretend to know what you are going through, but just know that my people are always kind to our guests. You can stay with us here at the Far Frozen until you find yourself."

"And if I don't?" Niel asked, his voice mumbled through Frostbite's fur.

"Then you can still stay with us for however long you wish."

Niel held back his tears so he wouldn't cause Frostbite's fur to become wet. He squeezed his arms around the ghost and mumbled, "Thank you."

Frostbite smiled at him. Even though his teeth were still big and sharp, Niel no longer thought he looked terrifying. He was an incredibly kind ghost, and Niel trusted him more than he trusted Vlad.

Frostbite led them outside of the maps room and the Danny shrine, and into a different cave covered with skinned pelts that Niel guessed must have come from the animals they hunted. Niel didn't know ectoplasm could be warm, but when he sat on a pile of furs that looked like a bed, he found that they warded off the harsh cold of the lair and made him almost sigh in relief.

Frostbite explained to him that they had several cave spaces for sleeping (more like resting, since ghosts didn't need to sleep, not really) and that this one was free for guests to use. He left Niel alone while the smaller ghost nestled himself into the furs greedily. Niel didn't even remember drifting to sleep, only that he closed his eyes and found himself in his dreams...or rather, nightmares.

He couldn't remember everything from his dream, but he remembered enough to know there was Vlad, a lab, a pod breaking, melting and crying. Niel jolted awake with a gasp. At first, he thought he was shuddering from the nightmare, but then he realized that he was freezing cold.

It took him a second to remember that he was in the Far Frozen, and another to notice that he felt even colder than yesterday. He looked down and realized why. His human hands were exposed, the tips of his fingers turning blue. The clothes he was wearing in his human form were not meant to be worn in snow at all.

Niel's teeth chattered as he wrapped the furs around him to keep himself from freezing his limbs off. He was about to transform into his ghost form when a shadow appeared at the cave's entrance.

"Honored guest? I heard crying--" Frostbite said before he froze (heh) at the sight of Niel. Niel looked guilty as he stammered out, "I can explain--"

"You are human," Frostbite said. Then he raised his eyebrows and said, "You are not only similar to Phantom in appearance, are you?"

Niel shrugged sheepishly and admitted, "I'm...his clone."

Niel didn't know how he expected Frostbite to react, but Frostbite just said, "Why did you not say so? We could have served you much better knowing you were a half-ghost!" As Niel watched, the ghost pulled back a curtain and grabbed what looked like a heavy fur coat. He really was prepared in case of human visitors. Frostbite offered Niel the coat, fussing over him all the while.

"I just said I'm a clone," Niel pointed out after wearing the coat (it did stop making him feel like his toes were about to freeze off at any minute). "You don't think that's weird or anything?"

"Weird? Of course not. The Great One has already introduced us to one clone of his--Danielle, I believe."

"Ellie visited this place?"

Frostbite nodded and explained, "The Great One wanted this Danielle to know of what places in the Ghost Zone were safe for her to visit in case she ever needed to leave the human world." His eyes gently met Niel's, and he added, "I know not of who may have cloned you, or if your relationship to Phantom is the same as Danielle's, but I believe that offer of protection extends to you as well. I meant what I told you yesterday. You can stay here whenever and however long you like."

Niel's eyes teared up with emotion (or maybe it was just the cold) and he repeated, "Thank you."

He wanted to thank Frostbite a thousand times more, and he probably would have, but just then one of Frostbite's tribemates entered the cave and said, "Someone has entered our territory."

Frostbite looked back at him and asked, "An ally?"

"The metal hunter."

Frostbite's expression hardened. Niel gripped his coat shakily. He didn't know if there were many metal hunters in the Ghost Zone, but he was almost entirely certain that the yeti was referring to Skulker.

Frostbite must have sensed his unease, because he cast a worried glance at Niel, but Niel kept his face neutral and straightened himself, trying to look courageous. He didn't want to hide behind the Far Frozen tribe while Skulker came for him. He transformed into his ghost half and met Frostbite's eyes, silently telling him that he would be meeting this ghost.

Frostbite broke their eye contact and walked outside. Niel followed him.

Sure enough, Skulker stood waiting in the snow. His suit appeared to steam slightly, and Niel wondered if he had a heating system installed to protect the suit from freezing over.

Skulker's optics landed on Niel, and he grumbled, "Whelp."

"Just whelp? Have I upgraded from knockoff whelp?" Niel retorted.

Skulker didn't reply. Instead, he said, "Plasmius wants you back."

"Took him long enough. I've been away for two days."

"He thought giving you some...time alone would be necessary."

"Are you sure you just don't want to admit that you sucked at tracking me?" Niel said with a taunting smirk. Skulker growled and fisted his hands, but Frostbite snarled at him as if to say, Try to hurt him. I dare you.

Niel loved Frostbite.

Skulker huffed and turned back to Niel. "You and I both know that is not the case. Although, if you ask me, I don't see why Vlad even wants you around."

"Thanks," Niel muttered.

"You could let me return you to Vlad, or I can ignore his orders. Your pelt won't have as high a quality as a natural halfa, but it would be close enough."

"Flattering offer. But no thanks."

"Or there is a third option," Frostbite spoke. "He could stay with us."

Skulker eyed Frostbite like he was trying to think of an insult to throw at him, or maybe he was judging the quality of his fur. Niel knew that Frostbite would fight to protect him if needed, but that thought didn't give him as much comfort as it should have. He clenched his jaw and swallowed, then said, "No. It's fine. I'll...I'll go back to Vlad."

Frostbite stared at him in surprise. "Are you certain?"

He wasn't. But he also didn't want to stay among a tribe that worshipped Danny forever while he spent his nights having nightmares about Vlad without ever confronting his father.

Clockwork had told him that he would be part of a family someday. A part of him had hoped it would be Frostbite's tribe, but something in his guts told him that wasn't the case. Whatever family he would meet, it wouldn't be here. Niel wondered if Clockwork was watching him right now.

He forced a reassuring smile onto his face at Frostbite, then frowned at Skulker and stepped forward.

"I'm certain."

Skulker's faceplate hadn't shifted from its scowl as he brought forth a handcuff and linked himself to Niel. Probably, he needed to be sure the clone wouldn't run off during their trip but thought that holding his hand would ruin his image. Niel turned back to Frostbite and wanted to say some heartfelt goodbye, but what came out instead was a yelp as Skulker impatiently tugged him away from the yeti's home. Frostbite understood what he wanted though, and he waved to him as they left.

Skulker spent the entire journey grumbling about how his job isn't to babysit, and Niel spent the trip dreading his upcoming face-to-face with Vlad.

He doesn't remember when he stopped feeling afraid and started to feel furious instead.

[alistonjdrake]

Part Three: Vows and Sins

Niels Dursten Role: Priest | Father of the Fates | Standing General of the Holy Army Born: Year 1742 after the fall of our Saints

At birth, no one would have considered Niels destined for priesthood. He started his life in the simple Kellish town of Bornne. His mother was from Nomworth, Palogne, and miserable with the simple life in a farming village. She would eventually run up debts and ditch his father who in turn would go onto to seek legal advice for all the debts. His father would become friends with Argus Breacher (father of Luca Breacher) and Niels would be able to one day say he’d seen the future Kellish queen of the Escana Empire as a child. Although any meeting between them would have been very brief and not a lasting memory in Luca’s mind. Soon after, Niels’ father would find himself unable to get rid of the debts and would make the decision to give his only son and child to the church. 

Niels was sent to Mignola young with the expectation of a good career in Santivism as his uncle, Romuald Dursten, was a chancellor on the conclave at the time (the branch that rules the Santivian church beneath the Justice). Niels would be afforded the opportunity to go to school, to live in a bustling city, the floating city, and the holy capital of the known world. He was given money, new clothes, and food. Prior to his arrival, Niels had been strictly against the path his life was taking. 

Kellish Priests do not live as lavishly as Mignolian ones. He’d imagined himself as old, working in a forgotten chapel at the side of the dusty road, and eating nothing but bread and soup, but life in Mignola proved to be different. And very attractive to him even at a young age. When Niels arrived, it was immediately apparent that Romuald Dursten would not be a very active guardian. His position in the Conclave took priority and instead he set Niels up in a villa close to the Blapanity and had a cycle of maids and tutors watching him. 

Niels got up to a lot of mischief. For the first time he was mostly alone, in a large house, and had every luxury at his feet. He became spoiled, rowdy, and extremely possessive of shiny things in fear of possibly being sent back to Bornne. As a child, Niels would often escape lessons by sneaking into the tunnels beneath the canals and to every corner of the city. Often, his uncle would send Fates or city-watch to find him and Niels became very skilled at escaping their clutches or exchanging treasures he’d collected in order to be let out of trouble. 

As he grew older, his behavior worsened. Niels did not pay very close attention to his lessons. Although he had a vague handle on scripture, the Saints and their lessons, Niels found he was much more interested in other things. Namely, money and women. He built a name for himself in gambling and Mignola’s black trade as he had access to the Blapanity and her holy and ancient treasures, he would often steal and sell them for favors from Ardunese nobility. At 16, he moved into his own villa with its own staff, shedding himself of his uncle’s watchdogs and tutors. He became friends with the sons of lords and rich merchants. He threw parties with them, let them stay in his grand house, flirted with their sisters, and masqueraded as one of them. But Niels was not. He was still a Kellish boy from a farming village. Money became easy to collect but what he really wanted was a title. As he could not marry into a high-ranking family and had no status on his own, Niels bowed to his uncle and asked for forgiveness for his bad behavior before re-focusing on the church. 

He took vows at 17, signing his life away to serve Santivism. Niels tried to forge a close relationship with Romuald but his uncle, although he forgave him, did not like his nephew’s lifestyle. Niels never let go of his lofty friends, his connections in the black trade, his taste for partying, or his interest his women. Romuald kept him at arm’s length and trusted his nephew’s interest in the Conclave even less. Niels had his sights set on climbing the ladder in the church. His blood was set against him as Kellish transplants in Mignola very rarely climbed so high. The Ardunese are obsessed with their legacies and bloodlines and aren’t fond of outsiders.

Niels did his best to outwardly shed his Kellish heritage. He stopped speaking the language, even in private with his uncle. He worked hard to completely rid himself of any traces of an accent, he did not speak of (or to) his father, learned all he could about Codua’s history and culture, he even only slept with Ardunese women. 

Discarding his heritage only proved to drive a further wedge between Niels and Romuald. Besides his greed, Niels was also just very obsessed with trying to expand his social circle. Much of the friends he had as a teen out grew of him as they became interested in their own social standing and reputation. This caused Niels to spend a lot more time mingling and trying to create new connections and deals than paying attention to his duties. He made more money as a yes man and someone who did dirty work for visiting Ardunese princes than as a priest. 

In 1768, When Niels Dursten was 26, the disastrous reign of Justice Licari would begin. Mignola would become a nearly lawless pit where murder and riots were common, half the city’s population was constantly on opium, and priests being patron to prostitution became common. This suited Niels just fine. He thrived under chaos. He purchased a brothel and shamelessly had his prostitutes steal from their clients, he blackmailed any important patrons, and quickly controlled so much of Mignola’s underground that he was dubbed the “Black Justice of the Holy City”. A title that pleased him. 

Still, what Niels wanted was a title with weight and he became increasingly more selfish. He purchased land outside of Mignola with his favors. Small towns and villages, ones that would slowly but steadily continue to fill his pockets when he wasn’t actively working. He redecorated and rebuilt his villa to be even more ornate. Niels lived like a prince. His uncle hated it. They would have many fights, some becoming almost violent, and often ended with Romuald being forcefully escorted out of his nephew’s villa. 

in 1774, Justice Licari died to the relief of the Conclave. His reign so awful that just 14 hours after his death, the Conclave relented and elected a non-Ardunese justice for the first time in a long time. Romuald became Justice Dursten much to everyone’s surprise and Niels’ anger. 

Usually this would be cause for celebration. When one became justice, they often elevated their family. Licari rose his Oskyan cousin to Reverend Mother, for example. A justice could even ennoble their family. However, Romuald and Niels had such a damaged relationship and Niels knew there would no lordships or duchies in his future. 

He would be right, although to save face, Justice Dursten would make Niels Father of the Fates. The protector of the holy city, and oddly enough, the one who would have to clean up the dirty business of Mignola. This involved most of Niels’ ventures like his brothels and black trade connections. He took this as a direct insult. 

As leader of the Fates, Niels would meet Tarley Vilardi, the vice-lieutenant. She would go on to become his primary mistress and act as his bodyguard. Niels exercised most of his flimsy power through her, using her and the Fates she argued onto his side to continue to do his dirty work. 

Justice Dursten would become too busy to fight his nephew. He would instead continue to try and save himself from being equally as stained by covering up the worst of his behavior and stopping what he could. This only proved to further embolden Niels. 

Underneath his uncle’s reign, Niels felt untouchable. Although he lacked a lofty title, he still lived like an unofficial prince and with Tarley Vilardi working for him, much of Mignola still fell beneath his thumb. Niels was also growing tired of the church and felt as if his uncle had turned much of the Conclave against him. If he was not to become a chancellor, if his own blood would not elevate him, he began to look elsewhere to seek titles. 

The boiling point would come with Princess Zurina ana’Frederick Harver’s visit to Mignola to study the occult and ancient religion in 1782. Niels would not hesitate in introducing himself and the two would have a brief affair before she returned to Graza and the Escana Empire where she would find out she was pregnant. 

Although Niels hopes this will be the beginning to a charmed life, dealing with the Escana Empire and the Harver family is much more likely to be his downfall.