#pathetic and/or offputing

[death-of-cats]

baffled at total misreadings of asoiaf characters. saw someone call Theon a "charismatic asshole." excuse me. what charisma. where.

[rookthebird]

i actually think i would love ianthe tridentarius so much if she wasn't trying to psychosexually manipulate harrowhark into falling in love with her. like if she had stayed at least 5 planets away from harrow at all times i would be writing the fun kind of x reader fanfiction about her. i am soooo insane for any fictional character who is blonde and androgynous and interpersonally a little stupid in a way that hints at a Dark and Tragic Past. i would be out here like "i could fix her. with nothing but my big brown eyes."

unfortunately she mildly inconvenienced the universe's most special little princess and the universe's most special little prince (gender neutral) and therefore i have a deep craving to flamethrower her with many flamethrowers. there is only ONE woman who should be psychosexually manipulating and torturing harrowhark nonagesimus for enrichment in her enclosure and it is NOT the one who has never expressed even the weeny teeniest amount of willingness to die for her. get away from her THAT'S GIDEON'S NECROMANCER

but in another universe. i would be gently kissing the bone arm and bringing her rose petal tea before swooning into her arms <3

[anthony-crowleys-left-nut]

..................me 🤝 lestat.................

actually being a pathetic wet cat

[vagueiish]

i don't have friends bc im too scared of rejection to even try tbh. cause id reject me if i tried to chat me up friendship style, who wouldnt?

[r3dlif3]

Itachi and Kakashi have a mutual appreciation for eachothers abilities and fighting prowess but they would not along on a personal level at all. Although, it's not a sense of hatred since at most Kakashi was just weirded out by Itachi's demeanour and bluntness ,despite him being the same in the past, and Itachi just does not care for Kakashis or anyone really on a personal level. The most he would is a mention of Sakumo being the white fang and how Kakashi has to carry that legacy on.

Kakashi is disappointed he didn't do more to stop Itachi but at the same time, everyone knows he wouldn't of because of his attitude and mentality during anbu being borderline suicidal so he probably wouldn't realise anything was wrong until a few days before the massacre and at that point Itachi was far beyond any point of return with how manipulative Danzo was.

They don't dig into the others live because of this reciprocated unspoken respect and have enough of a mutual understanding of eachother to be able to sit in silence long enough for it not to be awkward.

[fitzrove]

Started watching a "problem with greek myth retellings" video and it began with a blurb montage like "Condemned by the misogynist guys of history, this is the true girlboss feminist story of [A WOMAN]" and like. brb writing one of those about crown prince rudolf. It's ok he's like a misunderstood girlboss to me<3

[lesbianraskolnikov]

2007 rodya is always in a realm of i do like him but he embodies a specific separate rodya, he will never be the book rodya. Rodyas pathetic side knocked up to a ten. I think 1970s so perfect i dont think the patheticness should be so obvious. sorry 2007 rodya

[hexcrystals]

listen i watched american psycho and all i wanted was a little gif of him wiggling as he says ‘hip to be square’ so i can reblog it like a sticker for my journal and yet all the tag has to offer is x reader fanfiction. what is wrong with you all

[khalixvitae]

Idk how else to say this but every time I look at Idia Shroud I’m filled with the overwhelming urge to live underneath his skin

[satellitespinner]

⁺₊❆⋆ ୨⎯ merry christmas, im not yours at all. merry christmas, please dont call. ⎯୧ ⁺₊❆⋆

pairings: ex!ellie x ex!oc/reader

synopsis: an involuntary trip back to your hometown brings back unwanted memories of the girl who broke your heart years before. when youre met with her unexpectedly, you have to decide wether or not to pursue her, or give her a taste of her own medicine. or maybe both.

wc: 6.7k (SMUT; ellie eats pussy then yall ✂️✂️.. angst, cheating, crying, slight comfort but no happy ending, reader is an offputting bitch who cries alot. joel and DINA mention!!!!!! the words and and you are used alot.. oc is shorter than ellie & has hair.)

MERRY CHRISTMAS DYKES IN MY PHONEEE !!! ilysm! im so excited to post this holy fucking shit shyt. interact i beg u. reblogs and comments are encouraged i loveee talking to you guys sm!!! 🫵🏼 come ttm and ill talk back! heavily inspired by my twin @coeurify !! i suggest you go read ttds 1 before reading this!

Christmas of freshman year Ellie bought you a bouquet of red and yellow flowers, you cried.

Christmas of sophomore year she burned you a cd with your shared playlist on it. She titled it ‘our songs” and you cried.

The next year she wrote you a song, it was truly beautiful. it made you cry.

Christmas of senior year was different. That year, your parents decided to use the break to visit universities and then stay at a nearby family member's house for the holiday. Before you left Ellie managed to gift you a shiny heart pendant with her initial carved onto the front and a picture of you two glued to the inside. you cried, hugged her, and told her you loved her.

The Christmas before you left for university Ellie broke up with you. This was the hardest you cried in five years.

So much for a Merry Christmas.

That was two years ago. you haven’t been back to your hometown since then, simply because you knew you couldn’t bear to face her. Going back to Jackson meant running into Ellie, and you weren’t ready for that.

until now, apparently.

your dearest mother had called you and told you that if you didn’t come back this year all your shit was going to the goodwill. Maybe Ellie wasn’t the only reason you avoided your hometown.

So here you were, driving the sickly long drive to the closest place to hell on earth. you had to stop four times because your tears were blurring your vision. when you were finally met with the “Welcome to Jackson” sign, you threw up in your mouth. your driveway mocked you as you sat in your car attempting to collect yourself. you contemplated turning around, driving back to campus and telling your mom to burn your stuff for all you care. But, you didn’t. it was late and you needed sleep. so you pulled your keys out of the ignition, grabbed your belongings and made your way to the front door. your parents greeted you with tights hugs and uncomfortable small talk.

“How’s school, sweetheart?” your mom asked, your dad sneaking off to bring your bags to your old bedroom. “its school.” you kept you answers curt. not trying to engage in useless conversation at this hour. your mom picked up on your exhaustion and excused you with a tight lipped smile. the second you entered your room you regretted the entire trip. she was everywhere. pictures of you kissing on your dresser, her hoodies in your closet and of course, her initial still around your neck, above your heart.

you walked around the room, your cheeks already wet with tears. you picked up a photo that you couldn’t bring yourself to throw out when it ended. it was you and ellie snuggled up on dina’s couch, taken by her of course. you both looked so peaceful. the photo began to blur as the tears really started to fall. your legs gave out underneath you, causing you to fall against the wall. it was like a scene from a movie, a pathetic one at that.

You couldn’t remember exactly when you had fallen asleep, but it was late. you woke up in a fetal position on the floor, with an old picture of you and Ellie held tightly to your chest. your poor back..

the morning was still, your parents were still sleeping when you woke up, something you were very much grateful for considering the amount of questions you knew were to come your way when they did finally wake up. you set the picture back in its place hesitantly.

the lower level of your house was cold, the cold floors hitting your feet woke you up as you made your way to the kitchen. almost immediately upon arrival you decided that your mothers coffee brand wouldn’t do. she always bought the gross nutmeg flavoured creamer.

coffee shop in town it is!

you always hated ben’s, the coffee was mediocre at best and priced at a whopping seven dollars, but it would suffice for today. at least until you could get to the grocery store. the walk was short, thank god. you grabbed your jacket and scarf from the hook and made your way out the door. you were surprised, but relieved that you hadn’t had the misfortune of running into anyone you used to know.

The cafe had a welcoming atmosphere that you knew all too well, yet grew to despise. you ended up hating most parts of this town, the tight knit community, the overpriced coffee, everything. then you left. in your final days of staying in jackson, it was like you were gasping for air. then finally after you had gone to university, you could breathe again.

“Is that who I think it is?!” the cashier beamed from their place behind the counter. you could recognize that voice anywhere. the voice of riley abel, a girl you had gone to school with. she was voted most likely to move far away after grad, how ironic.

‘Hey, riley. how are you?” you asked as you walked up to the counter, trying your absolute best to sound interested. you zoned out as she rambled on about her life.

you picked at your fingernails while she spoke, her voice a distant muffle. you didn’t want to be rude and tell her to shut up, but damn this girl couldn’t talk.

“Anyways, how are you? I feel like I haven't seen you in ages!” she smiled and you couldn’t meet her eyes. “I’m doing fine.” she took your awkward answer as a hint and switched the subject. small talk should be banned.

“So what can i get for you?” she asks, typing away at the ipad on the counter. you contemplated for a moment before answering. you skimmed the menu for the cheapest option that didn’t taste like shit.

“I’ll get a medium french vanilla, please.” you grab your phone from your pocket, opting for apple pay instead of cash. she gives you a small, forced smile. “your total is eight dollars and twenty-five cents. cash or card?” your eyes widen at the price. “card, please.” she nods and passes you the pin pad. you gently tap your phone on the top of it as she begins to make your coffee.

A few minutes pass before riley calls you back up to the counter. she handed you a small cup with your name written on the side, along with a small smiley face. you thanked her and smiled at her small act of kindness.

your walk home is longer, many of the places you used to frequent, bustling with people that you could recognize by face. you almost stopped a few times, pausing and staring into oblivion. you never had the guts to actually enter though.

when you arrived back home you parents were sitting around the dining table, your dad, fairly engaged in the newspaper greets you with a smile. your mother doesnt look up from her phone until you speak. “Saw riley at bennys.” she hums and looks you up and down, it was like no matter where you went there was some weird tension in the air.

“You couldn’t have made coffee at home?” she snarks, tipping her glasses off her nose. “Just wanted some fresh air.” you reply nervously, not wanting to be fighting with her already. clearly your attempts worked because she stopped there. you swallowed the lump in your throat and retreated to your room.

you weren't sure what you were going to occupy yourself for these two weeks, packing up all the shit you wanted wouldn't take more than a few hours. you contemplated just taking your belongings and going back but you knew your mom would disapprove with that idea.

you decided that the most worthwhile decision for now would be to resume your place in a current book you were reading, a silly romcom you were gifted by your roommate before you came home. at least until your mother asked you to help her bake some cookies, or run to target for some last minute christmas gifts.

six chapters in and you were finally starting to get into it when you get a text. a text from Dina, a close highschool friend. you tried to stay in contact after you left, but the relationship fizzled out into short happy birthdays, and merry christmases.

D-Dawg💘

Hey! i heard from riley that you're back for break, we all miss you.

You laugh at the corny name you assigned to her contact in high school, the name had blossomed after a drunk comment from jesse, comparing her to a dog simply because of her big brown eyes.

D-Dawg💘

were having a little get together tonight, if you’re up to it you should come by. you're always welcome.

you decided to ignore the message for now, you weren't really up for the whole forced small talk that came with seeing all your old friends again. as far as you knew they were all still hanging out, everyday, without you. instead you decided to resume your place in your book, hoping to find some sort of entertainment in it.

you’re in the middle of chapter twelve of your book, Wes and Liz had just gotten into an accident in the rain when your mom calls you down stairs. you trot down the stairs, phone in hand. when you arrive, you stick on the last step, the wooden floors still cold. you're greeted with your mother in her signature bird print apron.

“Did you wanna help me with the baking, or were you just gonna sulk in your room all break?” she asks. you clear your throat and step down the last step. you shove your phone into your hoodie pocket, “Yeah ill help, i’d love to.”

“Babe, get your damn fingers outa the cookie dough!” ellie laughs as she grabs your wrist, pulling you out of the batter. you had forced her into baking with you after you saw a stupid couples tiktok. “Relax, its just us eating them anyway.” you defend, you even noticed your precious girlfriend sneaking chocolate chips from the bowl once in a while.

“Yeah, well i don't play about my christmas cookies.” she puts her hands on her hips and glares at you jokingly. you giggle at her actions. “We can tell, fatty.” you joke, her eyes widen and her jaw drops. “What did you just say!?” her slack jaw turning into a toothy smile quickly.

“Nothin’ i didn't say nothin’” you laugh and turn back to shaping the cookies. she steps closer to you and places her hands on either sides of your hips. “Well, thats weird. cause��� I definitely heard something.” she starts moving her fingers in slow circles over your pj pants, her lips meeting your neck slowly.

“hell, ellie. why are you the horniest woman on the planet.” you drop your final cookie onto the tray and turn around to face her, her hands now moving to the sides of your face. “Not my fault I have the prettiest girlfriend ever.” she states, matter of factly. her lips now kissing your own, causing you to smile against her. you move your hands to the back of her neck, slowly twirling with the back of her hair. you both giggle against each others lips, “I love you” you whispered against her. “i love you too, baby.”

the soft moment was interrupted by the oven beeping, signaling it was time to finally bake the cookies. she pulls her hands off of your hips and reaches for the pan, nodding at you to open the oven. “Careful, don't burn yourself.” you open the oven door enough for her to slip the tray in without accidentally knocking her hand against the wall and giving herself third degree burns (again)

you both high five once the cookies were in the oven baking. “i think we make a pretty good team!” you say as you turn the tap on to wash the dough off your hands. “Hell yeah we do, baby!” ellie shouts, smacking your ass. you laugh loudly at her antics. “Ouch ellie!” you cry, pulling a towel off the counter to dry off your hands. she rolls her eyes at your exaggeration.

“Sorry, babe. want me to kiss it better?”

“Will you shut up?”

Baking cookies with your mother was a stressful, if not brutal experience. she was a bossy, nitpicky perfectionist. it was like you could never do anything right with her, everything had to be 100% perfect. she would argue that you weren't trying or you didn't care, but you did. if anything you cared too much.

“I told you to do it like this! not whatever you're doing.” she scolded and nearly ripped the bowl from your hands, demonstrating how she really wanted it done. you throw your hands in the air, “I am, fuck!” you whisper yelled in frustration. your mother abruptly dropped the bowl onto the counter. “Don't you swear at me!” she pointed her pointer finger in your face.

“Oh my god.” you mumbled under your breath. you brought two of your fingers to your temples and squeezed tightly, trying to calm yourself down. “What is your problem?!” your mother crossed her arms as she yelled. “I cant fucking- I cant do this! this is exhausting!” you quickly untied your apron and tossed it on the counter. throwing yourself up the stairs. your mother followed behind you.

“If I'm so exhausting then why don't you pack your shit and get out of my house, huh?!” she shouted, grabbing onto your arm, you pulled it away from her. “Because! you asked me to come! i thought we could've had a normal christmas for once!” by now you had salty tear drops racing down your cheeks, it wasn't pretty.

“well i shouldn't have. so that was my mistake.” she stops on the stairs when she says this. your heart stops for a moment when she says this. the tears come harder when you slam your door shut and lock it.

right now you felt like you were a teenager again, petty arguments with your mom is when you needed ellie the most, you would hop out your window and run to her house. she welcomed you with open arms and told you how much she loved you. she would hold you for hours and whisper praises into your ears while you cried.

But right now, at this moment you couldn't do that, because there was no more ellie.

After scream sobbing into your pillow like an angry child, you fell asleep.

you woke up with a throbbing headache and the need for water. you also woke up to a few unread messages from a few of your friends from highschool.

Jesseee

Hey, r u coming tn? dina said she invited u but u didn’t answer. We miss U

smartass (derogatory)

hi its abby! heard ur in town

smartass (derogatory)

we should hangout before you leave!

you sighed and glanced up at the time. 8:04pm. you had two options, go pack to sleep, or stay up and wallow in self pity. or-

D-Dawg💘

were having a little get together tonight, if you’re up to it you should come by. you're always welcome

hii dina, i’d love to see you! what time does it start? :)

D-Dawg💘

8! didnt think u were gonna reply! but def come by!

her reply came fairly quick. you glanced up at the time on your phone, 6;00. you could work with that. two hours to make sure you look good, just in case you see.. she who shall not be named. you pulled your suitcase out from under your bed. you rummaged for a few minutes until you were met with the one dress you brought with you because you knew your parents had some stupid family dinner planned for christmas day. the dress was modest, classy but not too fancy. next was your makeup makeup bag. you decided to keep your makeup simple too, so you looked good, but not like you were trying to look good.

you brought your makeup bag to the bathroom and started the shower. you usually tried to be quick with your showers considering you were using the only bathroom in the house. you let the warm water hit the back of your neck. for a while, you just sat. sat and stared at the wall. the longer you did this though, the higher your anxieties got. finally, after your neck started to burn from the water, you got on with your business, scrubbing your skin raw and washing your hair as quick as you could. you might be a little late..

after an hour and four almost-breakdowns you had gotten your hair to cooperate. you knew your makeup wouldn’t take long to get done so you before you started you checked your phone. no new notifications from anyone except dina, a simple follow up text of “it will be fun, i promise.” you debated asking her to confirm your fears of ellie’s attendance. maybe knowing would calm you just a bit.

Is she gonna be there?

please be honest.

D-Dawg 💘

she was invited, im not sure if she’ll show up though.

D-Dawg💘

Please don’t stress over this though. its been so long.

im aware, but its still scary

plus you’re all still friends. im not really part of

that anymore.

D-Dawg💘

maybe you guys could talk about it?

i can’t do that. you know i can’t

i will literally die.

likr

my life will end.

D-Dawg💘

sighs loudly…..

fine. but if she comes you

aren’t irish goodbying out my back door.

…

MAYBE.

see u soon -_-

you turned up your music and then shut off your phone, leaving it face down on the counter as you began your makeup. you gently hummed along with the lyrics as the soft brushes worked over your skin. the delicate touches reminding you of ellie’s gentle fingers tracing soft shapes into your cheeks as you slept in her arms. she was never scared to hold you, to tightly pull you into her body and keep you warm.

by the time you had finished your makeup and wiggled into your dress, it was 7:45. the drive to dinas wasn’t long and you didn't want to get there early and be left to awkwardly wait around for everyone else to arrive. so you decided to scroll on your phone to pass the time.

at 8:12 you pulled into dina’s driveway and immediately noticed the differences in her home. the christmas decorations were no longer over the top, and the driveway was shoveled neatly. dina had told you to just let yourself in when you arrived. your hand shook with anxiety as you reached the doorknob. you took one last deep breath and entered the house.

“Bitch, you’re unseasoned chicken.” are the first words you hear as you shut dinas door. you easily recognize jesses voice, throwing insults at abby over a heated card game.

“yikes.” you say, heads turn in your direction. you awkwardly laugh at the group reaction. “I told you she was coming, you dummies.” Dina shouted, her voice booming from the kitchen as she walked over to you, pulling you into a firm embrace.

you scanned the room for any sign of ellie. well, there were many things that could be considered signs of ellie around the house. like the homemade ornaments on dina’s tree. you had all had a sleepover one night in sophomore year and decided to create little hand painted ornaments for fun. ellie’s was a painting of the four of you as stick figures, yours and ellie’s had a big red heart painted over the top of their heads.

the memories flooded in as you stared down the tree, to anyone else this probably would’ve looked really weird, but your friends new. jesses voice interrupts your thoughts, you tore your eyes from the tree to look at him.

“she hasn’t shown up yet.”

and she never did.

Ellies absence didn't make the night any better, however. you hoped it would but it didn't. you were still bombarded with questions that you weren’t quite sure how to answer. dina had probably asked you about a thousand times to just talk to her! but you refused. you were not about to start up a conversation with your ex like nothing had happened between you two. especially when it was her shitty actions, not yours.

you didn't regret going but by the time it was time for you to leave you were happy to do so, your friends bargained with you to stay the night like the rest of them but you politely declined. you did promise to see then all properly before you headed back to campus, though. stating that a proper hangout was long overdue.

after you had said your goodbyes dina had offered to walk you out to your car, you told her you would be fine but she persisted.

“So, ellie texted me.” she slowed to a stop with her arms crossed. you sighed and turned around to face her, leaning your body against your car. “Do i even wanna know?” you roll your eyes. dina steps closer to you, joining you against the hood of your car. dina chuckles, trying to recall ellie’s exact words. “said she wanted to talk, she sounded apologetic” she looks up at you. scanning your face for any emotions.

“Dina-“

“Please, just listen.” she interrupts, “i miss my best friends, everyone misses you guys. nothings been the same since.” her voice going from firm and loud, to a shaky whisper. you sighed.

“I know, D. this is hard for me too. you’d think it would've gotten easier to be here, in this town but its not. i feel like i can’t breathe.” dina nods in understanding. you softly sniffle, the cold air makes your face tighten. the both of you stay silent for a while. dina knew there was more to be said, but she didn’t want to push you.

“I’m sorry.” dina looks back up at your face, her voice now held a panicked tone. you close your eyes, throwing up your hand in a worn out manner, “It’s fine-

“But its not! you’re my best fucking friend. and even though it felt like shit when you just- up and ghosted us, i understand why.” she she paused for a moment, moving her body from beside you to standing in front of you, mirroring you. “And i understand if you never wanna see ellie again, but i missed you so bad, so fucking bad.” at this point shes crying, fat tears run down her cheeks. you coo and bring her into your arms.

”oh dina, if anything i should be the one apologizing.” the shorter woman sobs into your shoulder. you both cried into each other like a cheesy soap opera. this was the one thing you missed about being in jackson. “i missed you so much”

The sound of your doorbell reverberated across your house, “ill get it!” you ran so fast to the door that you had tripped over your own feet a few times. you opened the door to reveal ellie and joel behind it. a small smile growing on her face when it was in fact you who opened the door and not your mother.

“You look pretty” she says as she walks in,you thank her with a small kiss on the cheek. “Merry Christmas!” you greet joel quickly before he retreats to the kitchen, probably to drink wine and gossip with your parents. “I like your sweater.” you look her up and down, gesturing to the wool sweater that adorned her figure.

“Oh thanks, My girlfriend got it for me!” she says sarcastically, you roll your eyes at her stupid joke. “Yeah, I know.” you grab her by the wrist and tug her up the stairs to your bedroom. you shuffled her into your room and quickly shut the door behind you.

“Would you care to see your gift?” you asked, in a pretend seductive voice. she nodded persistently and shot you a toothy grin. “Perfect!” you clap your hands together and open up your closet, retrieving a small red box with a big green ribbon wrapped around the top.

you couldn’t contain your excitement when you handed her the gift, your body was seen to be vibrating in its place. “C’mon, ellie! openitopenitopeni-“ you ramble, basically throwing the box at her. “Okay! Okay! Slow down, babe.” you both sit down on the bed, you place your arms on her shoulders. at this point you were seething in excitement.

“Holy fuck.. you didnt.” her eyes practically shoot out of her head, staring at the object in the box, a white envelope sticking out from underneath. she turns to you shocked.

“How did you even-” she grabs the walkman and few tapes out of the box. you shrug, “Antique stores are great places.” she puts the cassette into the device, the one that you were able to get your dad to burn your playlist into. the others being the smashing pumpkins and nirvana.

“Do you love it?” she doesnt answer, instead throwing herself onto you, holding you tightly. holding fistfuls of your sweater, your wrap your arms around her and kiss her forehead. “I knew you would!”

after fiddling with the foreign object for a few minutes ellie figures out how to turn it on and off, she passes you one of the wired headphones and slips the other into her own ear. The polices ‘Every breath you take’ begins playing into your singular headphone. ellie added it to your joined playlist because she swears its the song that plays every time she looks at you. How corny.

You two sit for a few moments, just listening to the lyrics.

I’ll be watching you

(every breath you take)

(every move you make)

you suddenly feel her looking at you, you turn your head to meet her gaze. her eyes were practically hearts, she looked so smitten. you smile at her and lay your head completely onto the bed and ellie sits up, careful to not disconnect the headphones from your ears. “what’re you doing?” you asked in a hushed tone. she shakes her head, “Just looking at you.” her face shifts from soft admiration to something different. then suddenly, her lips are slotted in between your own.

(every single day)

(every word you say)

she gently rubs her hand up and down your side as she moves her lips against yours, your hand making its way to the side of her face. you sighed into her mouth and gently moved your arm around to the back of her neck. your legs tangled together effortlessly when she pulls away from you. “I love you.” she whispers, you look up at her, your faces almost touching. “I love you too.” you almost moan when she dips her head back down to continue kissing you.

I’ll be watching you

That Christmas ended up being the night that you took each others virginity and tried to hide it from your nosy parents, who of course, noticed right away but didn't say anything.

Your mother and father left early in the morning to go see some of your extended family, you planned to go meet them later in the day so for now you were left by yourself to wait. you anxiety was high, but the hard part was almost over. after your dinner with your family you could shove all your things into your trunk and leave. you'd be back in the comfort of your apartment before December 26th.

For most of the afternoon you found yourself lazing around, watching movies that you've seen a thousand times before. you sigh to yourself, glancing over at the clock which reads 5:00. you decide to start getting ready.

you had just finished your makeup, your hair still tied up and your body clad in pajama when the doorbell rings. How strange you thought to yourself. who could possibly be showing up for your parents at 5pm on christmas day.

“I’m coming!” you shouted from the stairs, feet quickly moving down the steps. you probably should’ve looked through the peephole before ripping the door open because to your unpleasant surprise you were met with-

“Ellie?” your eyes widen at the sight before you. your ex girlfriend was outside your door with a bouquet of flowers and tears in her eyes.

“Hi- Hey.” she looks just as surprised as you. her green eyes wider than ever. she looked different, her usually half up, half down was now cut into a thinner mullet like haircut. you had tried avoiding any news of ellie since you moved, so her look was entirely new to you.

“What the fuck are you doing here.” you asked, your voice harsh but quiet. she looks at you in disbelief, “I- Dina told me to come see you.” she whispers. Of course she did.

“Why, Ellie.” you pause, crossing your arms. “I haven't spoken to you in almost three years, and now you're outside my door. Why?” she now looks disappointed with your reaction. she had partially hoped that you would throw yourself into her arms and tell her you missed her. but she knew that would never be.

“I messed up,” she looks down at her shoes, you clearly weren't having her half asses words. you sigh loudly. before you could shoo her away dhe interrupts you.

“I did you so dirty, and- i cant forgive myself for it. but youre the only person i've ever loved, truly.” she pleads with you unbeknownst to you, as your eyes stayed glued to the ground. “Would you please look at me-”

“I don't owe you anything ellie.” you snap, you did fulfill her request however, your eyes meeting her frantic ones. “i dont have to accept your stupid apology, why the fuck would i, ellie? what you did- what you did was so wrong. and i should hate you for it.” you slowly step out of the house, your angry pointer finger meeting her chest. tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

“and im sorry, im so fucking sorry, baby. i couldn't even live with myself after what happened.” her final words making the tears finally start to stream down your face. you hadn't expected her to admit that, especially not with you practically beating your fist into her chest. but she did.

she notices your tears and grabs you by your face, she holds you as your legs buckle beneath you, something she didn't do years prior on this exact day. something she shouldn't have had to do. “Im sorry.” she whispered into your hair. her flowers now long discarded, and you crying into her arms on your parents front porch.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Ellie?” you cried, your body tensing up after her heartbreaking confession, you peered at her through wet eyelashes. and she couldn't even look at you.

“I’m sorry.” she whispered, fingers fiddling with the rings adorning her hands, the hands that held you whenever you cried, the hands that had made you see heaven just nights prior.

“You're breaking up with me cause why? ellie. im still confused as to what the fuck is happening right now.” your expression is one of incredulity.

“baby, don't do this.” your eyes widen, you couldnt fucking believe her. “Do not baby me, ellie. you’re fucking breaking up with me right now because what? did you fuck her?” her head shoots up from her lap, her bottom lip wabbling between her teeth.

“No! i- we didn't, i would never-” you scoff, rolling your eyes at her actions. trying desperately to hide the fact that she had just broke your heart into a million pieces. “Do you love her?” you ask quietly, the question you had been avoiding since the beginning in fear of its answer.

“I dunno. i just-”

“youre breaking up with me to be with her ellie so you better know if you fuckin’ love her or not.” you spit, your words harsh, but in reality you were about to have a full blown panic attack.

“I do.” she admits. and suddenly your whole world comes crashing down, four years you had wasted just for her to leave you for a girl she met two weeks ago.

your tears became heavy and all of a sudden it was hard to breathe. your vision quickly blurred, your hands shook as you lifted your glass to your lips. and your headache was hard to deny, you needed to lay down.

Your ears rung, ellie still trying to justify her unlawful acts. all you could really hear were clusters of “im sorry, Not your fault-” you sobbed uncontrollably.

Fuck you, Fuckyoufuckyoufuckyou-

“are you two ready for your menus yet?” the waitress had came out of nowhere, a sweet girl who clearly had accidentally walked in to something she couldn't just ignore.

ellie kept her head down and you made eye contact with the waitress Ruth her name tag read, “No, actually. we’re done here. Well- I am. she might be waiting for someone else.” you point at ellie, and her head raises. you quickly stand up and begin to quickly shuffle your belongings into your purse.

you wished she at least had the decency to do this in the comfort of your own home, where you could kick her out if need be, but now the entire restaurant was watching as you ran out the door with snot dripping down your nose and mascara running from your eyes to your chest. You tuned out her inescapable voice and walked all the way home.

After a long, exhausting five minutes, ellie convinced you to let her take you inside and clean you up. she wiped the mascara off of your under eyes and kissed your forehead.

“Thanks.” you muttered. “Don't mention it.” she smiled, she placed the flowers on the counter beside where you sat. you examined them, a beautiful bouquet of red and yellow flowers, like the ones she had gotten you your first christmas together. you smile at the thought. remembering your innocent love.

“what are you smiling about? hm?” she asks, you look up at her, “just thinking, about us.” she inhales a sharp breath at that. “what could've been.” you finish, reaching for the flowers, holding them in your lap.

she walks over to you, your knees now touching the front of her jean thighs thighs. “or.. what can be?” she looks down at you, an overly hopeful look on her face.

“Ellie,” you sigh, you seemed to be doing that a lot today. “I cant just let you back in like that. i mean- when did you and Cat even break up?”

“last year, october.” you nod, swallowing whatever was in your throat. “i see.” the room filling with a heavy tension. your intense eye contact has you shifting on the counter.

“Will you kiss me?” you whisper, what the fuck were you doing? she opens her mouth slightly, before grabbing you by your waist. kissing you softly, before she realized what you wanted. you moaned at the contact, and she kissed you harder.

“fuck, okay, okayokay.” she stops for a moment, you look at her confused. “are you sure you wanna do this right now?.” you nod, profusely.

she moves her hands under your shirt, quickly lifting it off your body. “No bra?” she smirks, you roll your eyes. and reach for her own T-Shirt. you slipped it off with ease, unknowingly biting your lip at the sight before you.

she grabs you again, slotting her lips between your own, you wrap your legs around her waist.

“your room?” she whispers against you, “couch.” you confirm. Ellie drops you onto the cushions, you grab at your sweats, quickly lifting your hips to get them off. ellie, preoccupied with taking her own pants off.

“fuck, you’re beautiful.” she positions her body against yours, her lips trailing from behind your esr, all the way down to your lower stomach. small praises leaving your lips at her wet kisses.

she begins to move her lips towards your clit, sticking her tongue out and licking a dtrip over your underwear. “Ellie, please.” you whimper, hips bucking up into her face. she looks up at you and begins to slip your underwear off your body.

“Fuck, youre so wet.” she observed, moving her finger to play in between your folds. you eagerly bite your lip, her face admiring you from her position between your legs. you moan softly as she begins to eat you out, swirling small circles on your soft button. “Oh, ellie!” you whimpered, your body twitching against her mouth.

“ohmygod, baby.” she moans into you, slowly slipping s single finger in and out of your sopping hole, your moans growing increasingly loud, your eyes meet her own when you entangle your hand into her hair, pulling fightly at the back if her neck.

your back arches as she adds another finger, your release so close you can feel the sweat dripping down your back. “Im cuming! ellie, ellieellie!” you scream as she fucks you through your orgasm, her fingers slightly slowing down before she pulls them out.

you beckon her between your legs again when she lift your head from between your legs, she slots her legs between yours, slowly starting ti grind into you. “missed this pussy s’bad baby.” she groans as she continues to move her hips, speeding up as she pleases. “mhm,” you moan, greedily grinding back up into her, small whimpers starting to leave her throat at the feeling of your pussy on hers.

“Tell me you love me, ellie” you ask, your voice breathy. her head snaps down, looking down at you. her movements speed up as she looos at you.

“W-What?”

“Tell me you love me.” you bump your clit against her sweet spot and she moans. “I love you, fuck! so much, i love you soso much.” she could feel her orgasm creeping up on her, she speeds up her movements between your legs. your grab at her brests, pinching her nipples between your pointer and thumb. “you gonna come?” she bites her lip, nodding at your question.

“cum all over my pussy, please ellie.” you moan loudly, her fluid slowly leaking out of her and onto you. you quicken your hips, ellies lip finding home between her teeth until she suddenly falls into you, both of you moan when she untangled your legs.

“fuck.” she whispers, looking down at the mess that spread between the two of you, connecting you. you slowly lift yourself into a now sitting position. gingerly adjusting yourself so that you don't irritate your already sensitive nerves.

“so.” ellie starts, looking over at you, her eyes again filled with hope. you sigh quietly. “So, im gonna pee and you're gonna be gone by the time im done.” you state matter-of-factly as you stand up, slipping you oversized shirt back over your body. she shakes her head in confusion. “What?! But i thought-”

“you thought what, ellie? that i was just going to let you come back? you broke my fucking heart.” you can see her starting to tear up but you ignore the fact. instead slipping your underwear back on but discarding your pants.

“i told you it was a mistake! baby, i love you!” you scoff, your lips curling up into a smile, how fucking ridiculous.

“Listen to me ellie. Im going to go pee and you're going to go home. and then, tomorrow, im going to leave this fucking town forever and i swear to god you will never fucking see me again.” you argued, ellie still sitting there, with no clothes on. you didn't think she deserved your forgiveness. You felt guilty for denying her in such a vulnerable state but you convinced yourself that she deserved it.

you begin to walk up the stairs, you can hear her stand up from the couch and slip into her clothes once again. without turning around to face her you bid your final goodbyes,

“Tell your fiancée i said hi.”

unbeknownst to ellie, you had noticed the wedding band that shined around her left ring finger. that was when you decided not to let her back in.

[derbydevil]

wendigo

remmick x indigenous!f!reader

content: violence, blood, 'n sex

wc: 1.8k

(skoden = let's go, then) (for my non native readers 🖤)

crossposted from my ao3 cuz i'm proud of dis 🥹

Life on your measly reservation home was humble. Wake, tend to the animals, eat, sleep, then repeat. And, on a good night, narrowly escape the feral dogs on your property to visit the casino in town with your friends.

You gaze into the mirror before you as you finish tying off the otter wraps framing your face, lashes fluttering at yourself as you imagine your reflection to be some hot snatch, a smooth talking coyote of a man - you hope, you'd be able to meet tonight. God knows you need it. You break away from your own gaze and sigh as you hear heavy knocking on your rickety wooden door. "I'm comin'!" You shout, sitting up from your vanity and grabbing your deerskin clutch. You hastily crack your front door to be met with your friend on your porch in her own get-up. "Skoden. Took 'ya long enough." You roll your eyes and step out, heading towards your automobile with her hot on your trail. You turn the ignition and the car steadily rolls down the gravel road leading to town - your friend humming a tune she'd heard at the train station.

You come to a rolling stop as you pull into the casino lot. To the average passing eye, it doesn't look like a casino; and maybe that's the point. "C'mon." Your friend impatiently barks, glancing at you counting money from your clutch. "Shut it. We wan'a have a good night, don't we?" You huff, waving the cash in her face. You walk ahead of her and hear from behind her voice thank someone for opening the door. You hadn't seen anyone else pull in the lot after you, but you spared no glance to the stranger behind you. She catches up to you, grabbing your shoulder to point to the dingiest, darkest corner of the casino - the bar. "Eh, some drinks first?" She suggests, already dragging you over. You scoff, "Right, s'we can blow every game later?" You argue, but still follow her lead. She immediately settles at the bar, already finding conversation with a man beside her. You signal the tender over, but not before the man on your right gets his attention. "I'll have, ah, a whiskey. And one for the miss." He gestures to you. You raise an eyebrow. You take in his appearance; white skin, dark hair, some scruff, round face. "Not from here, I take it?" You glance at him. He gives you a toothy smile. "Nah.. How'd'ya know?" You hum as the tender sits a whiskey in front of you. "This here's Indian country. How'd ya know I favor whiskey?" You take a quaff of your drink.

"Lucky guess." He rumbles. "Fitting 'fer a missus like you." You gaze at him, assessing him completely as you take another sip—a deeper sip—this time. "I'm flattered." You cross your legs and for a moment, his eyes flit to your thighs. He licks his lips, and looks at you with a lopsided smile. "Y'know, miss, if I didn't know any better, I'd think ye'd be deerwoman." You break into a cackle and reach out to squeeze his bicep. "Hah! What does white man know 'bout deerwoman?" You playfully sneer at him, clearly now tipsy. He shakes his head with a smile on his face. "Now.." he grins, baring crooked, yet charming teeth. "You'se just so doe-eyed." You flutter your eyelashes at his remark. "Oh, my.." You huff, leaning forward. His grin turns into an offputting dopey smile, and you notice drool creeping out of the side of his mouth. Endearing, slightly offputting. You ghost over his lips, just barely touching him, then pull away with a mischievous look. He snaps his eyes from your collarbone to your eyes with a pathetic look. "Say, white man.. What's yer name anyways?" You drawl, adjusting your legs to ride up your slip dress the tiniest bit. He gathers himself, wiping the drool from the corner of his mouth. "Ah, It's Remmick, miss." You smile, tucking a wrapped section of hair behind your ear. "Remmick..." You sigh thoughtfully. He looks at you expectedly, and you become enraptured in his eyes, almost faintly glowing. You falter for a second, breath hitching as your gut screams at you to leave with your friend - not to associate with this man. Your fogged brain forgets all about your friend, you want to snag someone tonight.

"Say, how'sbout I take you to my dig?" You suggest, rising from your seat. "Your home? My, a miss shouldn' have'ta be the one ta' take a man home." He stands, hand reaching to rest on your lower back. "Should be the other way 'round." You reach behind and playfully peel his hand away, peeking over your shoulder at him. "S'not like you've got a place 'round here. Don'tcha, white man?" You begin walking with purpose, hips lightly swaying to impress him. He follows on your tail. "Hah, th'aint my name." ... "Right... Remmick..." you grin, opening the door into the night. Your flats crunch the gravel from under you and you reach out to your automobile's handle. Remmicks hand dwarfs yours and he leans over you to open it himself. "Allow me," he smiles, and you slide into the driver's seat. He hops over the passenger door, spreading his legs out in the seat beside you as your turn the ignition and pull out of the casino. His hand finds a place on your thigh as you quietly roll down the road to the reservation, Remmick whistling a song. You hastily interrupt him, "Whistlin' at night? It's not good, y'know?" You chuckle at him.

"How'sbout I sing then?"

Coyotes yip in the ambience of the night as Remmick's song comes to an end and you pull into your gravel driveway, suspiciously, no rez dogs in sight. You have a lingering feeling you're forgetting something important, but you have everything. Your clutch, a hot snag... what else... You open your door and loosen the straps to your slip as you turn around, noticing his lingering on your porch. You tilt your head as a silent question. "Ah, just tryin' ta' be polite." Your face softens. "Come on in." You gesture, and he comes in, each step creaking under your old porch. He kicks your door closed with his foot and begins slipping his suspenders off of his shoulders. You make quick work of your slip dress and strip to nothing, turning to slink to your bedroom. He follows suit. You lay on your bed, bare, as he unbuttons his shirt, revealing his soft chest. He hovers over you as your hand smooths over his chest. He leans into your touch, and dips down to nip at your ear. "Ah, Remmick." You sigh, trailing your hand down to his crotch. Your hand catches his zipper and you reach deeper as his nipping redirects to sloppily kissing all over your mouth. You pull him out of his pants, he's big, and you're sure he doesn't even know it. "Mighty cute pecker you've got there." You tease, licking into his mouth. He moans in return, your soft hand stroking him delicately as he humps into your hand. "Shit, doe, can smell 'ya.. So excited from helping me out, ha?" He pulls away from your touch.

He falls to his knees and pulls you closer to the edge of the bed, legs falling over the side. A big hand grips your thigh as his head dips down to spit directly on your cunt. You flinch, completely caught off guard, but spread further out for him. His other hand reaches up to lightly push down on your lower stomach as he presses rough kisses against your cunt, tracing his tongue around your clit, to then dip into your hole. "Fuuuck! Remmick!" You wail, his face pressing deeper, nose bumping your clit as he eats you whole. Your knuckles are white beside you, clutching for life onto your patterned sheets, otter wraps falling loose from your squirming. He hums against you in acknowledgment, moving up to pay attention to your clit while applying steady pressure to your lower stomach. "I'm, ah, I'm coming!" You whimper, legs shaking as he presses his tongue to make hard circles against that spot. You gush all over his face, babbling nonsense - some sounds resembling his name and pleads to God. He relishes in your afterglow as you pant, wiping perspiration from his brow and he gets up.

Your hair splays along your pillow like a glowing halo, your appearance almost angelic. Remmick leans over you to grasp your face, devouring your mouth once more. You press upwards to deepen the kiss, cradling his face, feeling his scruff. He moans into your mouth, drool spills out of your mouths and you pull away with a string still connecting. Spit continues to pour from his mouth, your tongue catching it shamelessly. He sits on his hackles, grabbing your legs to rest around his hips. He takes his cock in hand and presses it into you, slowly, tantalizingly. You mewl. His puffy tip slightly stretches you already, but you endure, his length filling you as he groans and shakes with every passing second, saliva still running from his mouth as he is clearly not being subtle about his thirst. Finally, his base meets you, and he fully sheathes himself inside of you. You both moan out. "Mm'fuck baby. You're perfect." He grits, his sweaty palms readjust for a firmer grip on your hips, he braces to begin a steady, hard pace. Your hands reach to thread behind his neck, Remmick's pace turning into pounding as he becomes obsessed with your body - your soul - he whimpers out your name, which you weren't even sure you gave him, and he hammers harder, deeper, head craning to rest into your neck as his thumb traces circles on your hip.

"Oh, God, Remmick," You cry, hands moving to claw at his clothed back. His face buries deeper into your neck, and you feel him open his mouth, though you pay little attention to it. You feel a sharp pain in your collar as he thrusts into you harder, almost offsetting the pain in your neck. The pain worsens, but you're nearing orgasm already, and he is too, his hips sloppily chasing after both yours and his release, his thumbnails now pressing into your skin. You try to moan out, but its futile, you silently spasm around his cock as he groans and growls into your burning neck, releasing inside of your cunt. Your collar is throbbing and dripping with sweat as he now pulls away from your neck, only to find your neck wasn't dripping with sweat.

His mouth and teeth are stained red, your neck trickling out as your labored pants from sweet release turn into shallow breaths, blood staining your sheets and pillow. He pulls out of you slowly, semen dripping from your struggling body as you try to piece together words. "You... Weh.. Wendigo..?" You rasp, holding a shaking hand to your gaping wound. He grins with his stained teeth and shakes his head. "Nah, baby. Ain't no Wendigo.." He drawls, his voice now sounding distorted as your vision fades.

" 'Ma vampyre. "

[audible-smiles]

I started reading Blood & Gold because I hate myself, and I gotta say that I had not realized that Marius planned from the start to turn Amadeo. In TVA, Armand describes that part of their relationship as him begging for the Dark Gift and Marius fretting over whether or not he should give it. I was assuming that Marius' pattern was having human playthings, and that he had genuinely not planned to get so attached this one. The revelation that Marius actually has a long pattern of trying and failing to sustain meaningful relationships with other vampires (e.g. obsessing over Pandora after he leaves her, getting wistful about having to kill Eudoxia when he wanted to be friends, his little not-companionship with Avicus, etc.) to the point where he's using parties full of human conviviality & the love of his adopted human kids as a dam for that loneliness is...bleak. And then when he happens to find a kid who is psychologically shattered, he immediately realizes that he can rebuild him into Marius' creature and then turn him, creating a vampire companion who is dependent enough to stay with him forever. That was the plan from day one, and it is one of the most pathetic and offputting things I have read in my entire life. I was expecting him as the narrator of this book to have some kind of charisma, and some comforting lies to tell himself about all of this. But he barely does! He realizes that his behavior is incredibly selfish, he just does it anyway. It's wild.

[partycatty]

johnny cage > keep it down

it's hard to focus on johnny's movie when he's aching and needy under your shared blanket.

warnings: handjorb... got bored and decided to give this an... exotic twist.

notes: @spacepl4ant i hope you like what i did to your idea LMAO

[ masterlist ]

• johnny's getting on in years, and you often poke fun at him for falling asleep in his comically large recliner, or his complaints about the younger generation when he gets a little too nostalgic. as famous as he is now, he defends his prime like a religion. this includes a movie night every week, and you half-protest to his own films each time. unfortunately for you, you caved when he gave you his world famous puppy eyes. damn him and his manipulative pleading stare!

• he was eerily silent about halfway through, lips sucked in firm and brows furrowed, hips adjusting ever so slightly every few minutes. he looked feverish, a little offputting, and his radiating heat was hard to ignore.

• the sighs and borderline whines were enough to fully grab your attention. "everything alright over there?" you glance at his form, his pajamas even still flattering his form beyond belief. he returns a side-eyed look, like a dog caught eating plastic.

• "mmh?" his exhale has a pathetic hum to it, lids low and pupils blown out. you'd been with johnny long enough to know that look, the one of sudden arousal. his sex drive was incredible for a guy his age, you were truly blessed, weren't you?

• you hum back, chuckling at his neediness as your hand snakes along his pajama-clad thigh. slowly gliding your hand up to his yes-yes zone, you catch a feel of his meatstick.

• "need some help there?" you smirk up at him, shuffling closer and shifting your torso to face him better. his grin is lazy, nodding twice with a droopy head before stealing a quick kiss from your parted lips.

• "you know me too well," he shifts his hips forward, fingers already notching into his waistband and tugging down his pants leaving only a starry pair of boxers. you two share a cute giggle that quickly turns into desperate groans, clashing your lips together as the heat settles into the situation.

• johnny couldn't wait a moment more, he never could, and puts your hand in his as he slowly glides across his gear shifter. you feel its length and weight as you lift it from his thigh, stroking his weewee through his underwear.

• his head rolls back, already being overwhelmed from the way you squeeze his pork whistle to make it throb and hips writhe in desperation. precum wets his boxers, sticky with his horniness for you at any given moment. you were his drug, and he couldn't help but be turned on every moment he laid his eyes on you. a quiet room, hum of a movie, and warm blanket set things over for him tonight.

• you grip and tease his lincoln log in spiral strokes, and his hips twitch upward at the sudden change in movement. johnny fears that if you two get beyond his underwear, he might cum from the skin contact alone.

• johnny's weenor aches, a tight fist in his pants that takes over his senses as he covers his face with his forearm, biting his bottom lip as pathetic whimpers escapes his lips. it was cute to unwind such a big, dominant man on his submissive days, which were few and far in between.

• your fingers dance on the waistband of his underwear, sliding up and down his salt and pepper happy trail. he unshields his eyes for only a second, breathing a deep groan when he gets a good look at your hand bobbing underneath the plush blanket.

• "fuck, fuck, m'so good for me-" is all he can muster to say, curses and praises pouring from his lips that are borderline incoherent when you grip his tinky winky at last, running your thumb along the length of his juanito and coating it in his seemingly endless stream of precum. he was slick and in need of more friction, teetering on the edge of begging. johnny never begs.

• johnny's fingers dig into the armrest of the couch, bucking his hips up and fucking his danger noodle into your palm. he wanted to take what he wanted, attempting to take control but it felt so fucking hard when you were in control. his eyes felt wet and glassy, brows furrowed so hard his forehead was beginning to ache.

• his hotdog beat hard in your hand, his heartbeat and needy throbs increasingly more prevalent as he neared his end. johnny could feel it, knowing he was close, and you could tell through his whimpers that only spill out when he's dangerously close. he hooks his fingers on the blanket, tugging it down to his thighs with a deep moan as he finally gets a good view of your hand reaching into his pajama pants and stroking his disco stick with such fervor it was going to make him cry at the sight.

• you bite your lip as you focus, your arm growing tired of the consistent motion but purely motivated by his whimpers and cries for release, a sound you wish to never forget.

• at the last possible moment, johnny wraps his large hand over yours, stroking his pickle rick alongside yours at a lightning pace. it was what he needed, more than anything, to paint both of your hands with his cum and stuff it into your pretty mouth.

• the thought sends him over the edge, his skin flute twitching with each rope of cum that shoots out. your hands, his stomach and thighs were quickly painted, a complete mess made of his arousal and johnny could just grin with the least amount of shame one man could have.

• "i love when you take control," he breathlessly admits, admiring the way you slowly and lazily stroke his slowly softening yogurt hose. "it's not often, but it drives me fuckin' crazy, you know."

• "i know," you place a chaste kiss to his lips, grinning into his face as your noses brush against each other. "you look so pretty when i do."

• "you always know how to flatter me," he pats your thigh with his clean hand, glancing down at his filthy one after. he chuckles dryly, displaying his palm to you and spreading his fingers apart to show the mess he made. "get a towel for me, sugar? i'd do it myself but i'd rather not leave a trail."

• "you're gross," you swat at his shoulder, which causes zero effect on his large figure. he just grins sleepily in response, shrugging ever so slightly. he knows you'll take him either way.

• "awh, we missed the best part!" he flutters a hand at you as you walk off, eyes transfixed on the screen once more. "ohh, that scene took days to shoot!"

• "you just came in my hand and you went straight back to the tv," you sarcastically groan, returning with a wet rag to wipe his thighs and stomach clean. "we should really stop all these movie nights."

• he puts a hand to his chest with an offended gasp. "what are you saying?"

• "i'm sayiiiing," you pull lint from his shirt. "that we need to just keep it down and stop the funny business if you want me to actually watch your movies."

• "you love it," he beckons toward you and you cuddle up to his side, the blanket discarded as the heat would have left you two sweaty after all that's happened. "so... should i rewind, orrrr...?"

[raikirikiri]

obito who somehow survives actually and makes it back to the right dimension. he immediately finds kakashi and kakashi goes bugged eyed and silent because no way his teammate died and came back to life a second time. but he's really real and this time he's not going to commit insane war crimes for the sake of infinite delusion. kakashi who's about to become hokage and knows obito needs to face justice but he's a little warped now AND he's hokage so he hides obito until he can freely pardon people.

people start to get suspicious because the next in line for the hat is suddenly acting really shifty.... he's usually pretty quiet but now his neighbors are making noise complaints every other day. they hear muffled yelling, a lot of crashes and bangs, and strangely, their walls start shaking almost every night...

word spreads fast and soon the rumors start. oh he just got a new puppy to train, that's all...

he's remodeling and the remodeling company is giving him a hard time....

he's practicing new jutsu...

those are the innocent theories but of course, no one loves drama and horror quite like a shinobi and soon enough, genma and the rest of the surviving jounin of that era are taking bets.

kakashi is actually a secret serial killer and is torturing his victims openly and since he's about to be hokage, he's about to make murder legal

he's taking part in weird masochistic rituals to safeguard konoha

he's a follower of jashin now, hidan has been talking to him in his dreams

he's a witch

all of these start spreading around until the konoha 11 get their hands on it and they, in all their infinite nonsense and skill, actually try to figure out what the hell kakashi-sensei is doing at night and why he's being so weird and offputting—more so than usual, that is.

sakura and naruto make a silent pact. they know kakashi better than anyone, if anyone can figure it out, they can. and boy do they. they catch a glimpse of obito one night and both of them, jaws dropped and fuming, march right up to kakashi apartment door and start BANGING because what do you mean KAKASHI'S war criminal boyfriend gets to walk free and THEIRS doesn't... quite frankly, it's disgusting and they will get retribution.

kakashi answers and of course tries to brush them off but they are having none of it. not while sasuke is rotting away in a cell, docile as a lamb. sakura bodily moves kakashi out of the way so they can search his apartment. "you're not going to find anything," kakashi insists. he sounds urgent and frantic. because he's hiding something.

"oh we know he's not here," sakura acknowledges, tapping the corner of her eye with a vicious sneer. "but you can't hide traces of him."

they search and search but they only find circumstantial evidence. until naruto catches a hand, it's groping around the kitchen table for something. kakashi sees it coming. he sees obito's glasses on the counter and he wishes he could enter kamui and hit him over the head. instead, he can only watch as naruto silently gets closer until he snags the hand and yanks, demanding the bastard leave his little hidey hole.

obito comes tumbling out, crashing to the ground in a pathetic heap. kakashi lets his head drop and soon, the cacophony of complaints and demands start up from the peanut gallery that his students make up. when they finally die down and wait for an explanation, all kakashi can do is promise them he will immediately pardon sasuke.

sakura and naruto pause and watch obito who's looking at the floor with a grimace, a hand loosely holding onto kakashi's jounin shirt. with twin groans, they collapse to the floor and relent. fine, they'll keep kakashi's secret but he has to pardon sasuke IMMEDIATELY even if it means he loses the hokage title.

"done."

kakashi has no qualms. he's almost hoping it gets him to lose the hat.

[ros-sauce]

Ough my god SPEAKING of Mizuki's hyper-cheerful exterior, I was thinking about something recently!! When you compare her to the other Genki Girls of Project Sekai, there's a certain vibe difference between her and say, Emu or Saki. The vibe difference is, of course, that Mizuki is making an active effort to be as palatable as possible. But I noticed something more specific about that, that is, to me, equal parts cute and OW OW OW OW OW OW:

Mizuki totally acts like a kids' show character. Specifically, a Precure leader. (Which makes sense, given that Precure's almost certainly what MiraMagi Definitely Isn't, in the same way that TrickTrick Definitely Isn't TikTok.) Every kids' show protagonist is going to be niceys, obviously, they need to be good influences. But! There are still differences in the brand of niceys that each little kid franchise character embodies. And Mizuki's mask matches the Precure flavor just about perfectly...

What's most significant to me is that she's like, pushy about doing favors for her friends. Refer to her bullying Niigo into Going Out And Doing Stuff Because It's Good For Them. "Helpful to a fault" is a trait that Toei loves to give lead cures. You will have your pink cure who runs around helping everyone with a smile 24/7 (I am looking directly at Heart and Lovely especially), and you will have one of the other characters off to the side sighing something like "There she goes again, wearing herself thin because she is Just Too Nice. She doesn't know when to quit!".

There's also a second brand of "'helpful' is her one negative trait" cure, and that's the one who continually kills The Grumpy One with kindness, while the grumpy one in question thinks "Wow what a weirdo. Why are you so nice." (This time I'm looking directly at Peach, Heart and Lovely again, Miracle, and Star)

In general, she really often chooses to show her emotions in a very simple way, and it totally reminds me of how characters in anime for younger audiences tend to talk. When she's displaying 'really happy', she often takes a tone more akin to "announcing to the viewer" than "normal happy person". There's like, a lot of energy, and a sort of singsong tone, it makes me think of the recaps that tend to happen at the start and ends of Precure (and baby anime in general) episodes. The like, "Hi, I'm Firstname Lastname! I'm in 8th grade and this is my favorite thing! One day, a mysterious power turned me into a Precure, and now I fight bad guys!" thing. When she's displaying 'sad', she becomes a comical degree of mopey, and then bounces right back after a few seconds (refer to the "WAHHHHH MEIKO HATES MEEEEEE :(((((" card lol.) She also loves herself a good Noise No One Makes In Real Life... the breathy "a-haha..." sort of laugh when she's embarrassed, "Kyaa~!" when something cute catches her eye, drawn-out "Eeeehhhhhh?!" when she's shocked.

There's also a little bit of like, "irresponsible, but so cute about it that you can't get mad at her". Like in the Ena5 aftershow, where Ena's like "I'm glad you're here to make MVs again but don't demand a million drawings from me ok?", to which Mizuki is like "It's fiiine you can just pull an all-nighter for me :) can't you :)?". It reminds me of how half the lead cures are either Bad At Their Homework or Forget About It, and then wetly and pathetically and cutely beg the rest of the main cast to help them.

I dunno I just think it's. Extremely Mizuki to select the type of character whose worst flaw is "annoyingly nice and happy" as the basis for how she presents herself. If the person you pretend to be around others is totally perfect, it's weird and offputting (hi Mafuyu), so she has to display some kind of flaw. But being imperfect also opens her up to harassment, so of course she goes for the most hard-to-hate imperfection she can think of as her One Failing. And I also think it's Extremely Mizuki to have so much love in her heart for characters primarily designed to spread messages like "always be kind", "do the right thing" etc etc.

Mizuki is a little dweeb who likes cute low-stakes anime about peace and love on planet earth. And also she is not doing well mentally and all she wants is the peace and love on planet earth that her animes show. God. I love her

[curehanni]

He's so...pathetic and offputting... I love him