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a-small-batch-of-dragons · 4 months

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Remember, Remember

I was just rereading "Care and Keeping of Idiots" (amazing btw) and in the beginning Patton has a notebook that Janus takes from him? Patton protests that it helps him "remember stuff" and Janus counters that it actually helps him to feel guilty. Uh, this really piqued my interest so maybe could you write a fic about Patton and this notebook, what exactly it is? (and the sides helping him with realizing he doesn't have to use it <3) – anon

Read on Ao3

Warnings: light guilt tripping of self

Pairings: dlampr, can be platonic or romantic i don't care

Word Count: 2061

Listen, Patton doesn't understand what the big deal is. This is what notebooks are for, after all. Notebooks are for taking notes! They are for helping you remember things! They are for whatever words or feelings make their way from your brain down your arm, through a pen or pencil—or marker—and onto the paper. That's their purpose! It would be silly to not use a notebook if you have things you want to remember and you need some place to write it down.

As would anyone who cares deeply about anything, Patton has a lot of things he wants to write down. Recipes that he wants to try out, shows he needs to catch up on, books he wants to read…books he has read and wants to talk about, things he has to do, there's a lot. And, also, because sometimes talking about feelings is really hard, he writes about them instead. Listen, they've all be working on being more open with each other, but the truth of the matter is that some of them are more easily able to tap into that vulnerability and be able to share it than others. That's a true fact about the world, whether Patton likes it or not, and he's not totally unaware here. He knows that he's contributed to that in his own way, and it's not his place to demand the others be open about things with him if they're not comfy with it yet.

So, because notebooks can be very useful things, he writes about it.

He's penned long pages about how much he adores Roman's passion and drive, but sometimes he worries that when it doesn't come as easily, Roman will get upset with himself. How it's okay if he just needs to make stuff for Roman, not the rest of them, not even for Thomas. How much he's sorry that he's contributed in any way, shape, or form to the insecurity that his kiddo tries so hard to cover up, but he knows is there. Sometimes he makes himself cry as he's writing those, not just because he knows Roman's particularly upset right now, but he's dredged up all the emotion in himself and, well, it has to go somewhere.

He keeps little short lists of how much he appreciates Logan's efforts—he does his best to say them out loud too, but sometimes Logan's not in the place where he wants to hear that, so he writes them down to save them for later. He's been trying to be better about asking Logan when he doesn't understand things, but sometimes the conversation moves too fast and he doesn't want to be a bother and slow everyone way down just so Logan can explain the thing he mentioned, like, five minutes ago. So, in the name of efficiency, he writes them down and looks them up later and does his best to recontextualize the conversation with his new knowledge. He's pretty sure Janus has a notebook that automatically transcribes conversations for him for when hearing is hard and lip-reading is harder, maybe he'll ask if he can learn a bit of that too.

Speaking of Janus…oh, he's written way too much and not enough at all about Janus. He's still not entirely sure what his own personal feelings are about the whole…Dark Sides/Light Sides thing, especially because it sort of feels like they're trying to do away with it entirely now that they've just found out the lines exist. Which isn't really fair, he knows, since he's the one who pushed them away to begin with, but they haven't—it's not—this is the first time he's really interacted with them in a long time, and so it's impossible to slide back into what it once was, and they're not quite at the place where they can start forging something new. Not yet. So, because he needs somewhere to put them, he writes.

Virgil, as will come as a surprise to no one, does not like being confronted with sentiment. (He actually wrote that one word for word and tried not to giggle at how much it reminded him of the look Virgil had when Roman tried to rope him into singing Disney songs together.) And so, because he's not above making his kiddos admit how great they are but he doesn't want to make them uncomfortable, he writes them all down instead. About how he's so proud at how much Virgil is trying to come out of his shell, how much he loves hearing about what Virgil's interested in now, or how much he secretly agrees that yeah, that story really was kind of edgy and not in a good way.

With Remus, who he doesn't know that well, he mostly writes down questions. Some of them are…in better faith than others, he'll admit. Why did he put his bear trap in the fridge? Why is there a water balloon filled with hot sauce in the sink? Where did his deodorant go? How did he come up with the idea of making every single doorknob make a different sound? What's his Kraken's name? That sort of thing. And maybe, sometimes he wants to ask things about him and Roman. How it feels being two parts of Creativity, or sharing the Imagination, or why, in the middle of the night, if he's very quiet, the walls sort of feel like they're shaking.

But! Maybe that's none of his business. That's why it's better to write it down, see? That way he can work out all his thoughts on paper and not have to bother anyone with them. Also, that means that if he needs to remember something, but he doesn't necessarily want them to know he's having trouble remembering it, he can write it down! Like how Roman doesn't like it when you ask about projects he hasn't talked about in a while, or how Logan doesn't like be disturbed unless the sign on his door says he's disturbable, or how he needs to ask Janus first if he's being serious or not about doing something, or about how Virgil needs time to himself away from everyone, or how he needs to leave Remus alone, that sort of thing. He should just know those, so he writes them down so he remembers them, but that's all.

That's what notebooks are for, isn't it?

Well, from the way everyone's staring at him with a mix of frustration, pity, and confusion, maybe he doesn't know what notebooks are for after all.

"That's not—you are not incorrect in your assessment of what a notebook is used for," Logan says slowly, "but the way in which you are choosing to use it…"

"Yeesh, Pop Star," Virgil mumbles, toying with the strings of his hoodie, "you're…damn, you're kinda giving me a run for my money."

"What? What do you mean, kiddo?"

"Having lists of things you need to do to monitor your own behavior?" He jerks his thumb at Roman. "That's both a him thing and a me thing."

"And it doesn't sound like it's particularly healthy either."

Patton laughs—surely, they can't be serious—but then everyone else is still looking at him like that and he tugs on the hem of his shirt. "I think you're overreacting a bit, kiddos, it's not that bad."

"You're keeping lists of ways in which you should behave in order not to upset us," Logan summarizes, "is that right?"

"Well, yeah, I don't want to upset you! And you have boundaries, those are important—"

"Boundaries like 'leave Remus alone?'" Remus looks up from his little huddle on the couch. Patton's heart sinks.

"N-not as in leave you alone alone, just that—I know you don't like being bothered by me, so—"

"How do you know that?"

"W-well, it's just that every time I try and come and talk to you, you're always—it feels like you don't want me there."

"Yeah, because the last three times you came, it was when I was handling the newborns from my side of the Imagination or working with the corrosive chemicals that Ro said aren't allowed in the Imagination anymore. You could've been hurt." Remus frowns. "Your sense of timing is shitty but it's not like I don't want to spend time with you."

"O-oh. Um, I'm…sorry?"

"Shit, no, I didn't mean it like that, I just—" Remus sighs, scrubbing a hand over his face— "I'm not going to try and blame you for your brain being spicy, but I am going to point out that you jumped straight to 'don't interact' as opposed to asking me why I wanted you to leave in those instances."

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Logan lean over to Janus to ask what 'brain spiciness' is, but he's too distracted by how Virgil's frowning at him. "What?"

"Are you—do the things in your notebook also consist of you reminding yourself of mistakes you've made in the past?"

"…yes? If I write the mistake down, I'm not likely to forget it and make it again, right?"

"How often do you reread them?"

"Every day, why?" The collective wince that happens is enough to let him know that was the wrong answer. "O-or! I mean, it's not everyday, every day, but—"

There's a low hiss from Janus and he shuts up.

A pause.

Then Logan takes a deep breath, adjusting his glasses.

"I will admit, when you first started talking about this, I was…not so much intrigued as I was curious as to why you'd never brought it up on your own before, considering how much we've all been talking about getting better at communicating. And if it were truly just an outlet for your emotions, I don't believe anyone would be reacting as strongly as they are, myself included."

"But that is what it is."

"But you're using it to amplify your own guilt and shame," Roman breaks in softly, "and that's not good, Padre."

"What? That's not what I'm doing at all! I'm just—"

"Then why were you so hesitant to tell us?"

Well.

He's sure there's a good answer for that.

Somewhere.

He just needs to think of it!

Yeah.

Yeah…

…yeah.

…

…oh.

Oh.

Oh, no.

Distantly, he registers the soft noises of concern and the gentle touch to his face. His head moves. There's someone standing in front of him. The thing on his cheek strokes the skin gently again. He blinks. Oh. His vision is all blurry. There's a lot of movement happening. There's someone calling his name.

"Patton? Sweetie, can you hear me?"

He thinks he nods. The thing on his face cups his jaw and then slides around to the back of his head—oh, that feels nice. He likes that feeling. He tries to lean into it. There's another quiet noise and then there's another touch on his shoulder.

"Sweetie, come sit, please, come sit with us. Let's give you a cuddle, okay? Look, the twins are right here—"

He's passed to another set of hands and then his hands are trying to wipe his face because he's crying, that's why his vision is so blurry, and then Roman—it has to be Roman, it's all red—is pulling him close and it's really warm, and soft, and quiet, and—

"Shh, there you go," Roman murmurs, "just take a moment, okay?"

"Remus, budge over a bit."

"L, can you get the—"

"Yes, I've got it."

"Shh," Roman says again when Patton hiccups with the force of the sobs, "here, cry this out for me, okay? Just get it all out, that's it, you're okay…"

He doesn't have the words, not really, to figure out how to remember this, but as the feelings wash over him and the world becomes a little smaller, just for a moment, he thinks he might not need to write anything down to remember what this feels like.

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#dragonbabbles #fic #sanders sides #roman sanders #remus sanders #sympathetic remus #deceit sanders #sympathetic deceit #janus sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders

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will-die-for-janus · 2 months

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Not exactly related to the episode but I’ve been thinking about this and I need to share it with someone.

What if Janus was scared of the Orange side? Like what if he was doing his best to hide O from Thomas not because of personal motives but because Janus fears O’s power and is trying to protect Thomas? If that’s the case, what kind of powerhouse would O be to be worthy of even Janus fearing him? Logan is the last roadblock between O and Thomas. Once he breaks down (and he’s clearly very close to it), then O comes into his full power.

This is barely a theory this is just an excuse to see angsty Janus. I like watching calm and collected characters have a breakdown. I wanna read this fic so bad

Ok I love theories it’s like my favourite thing (still emotionally devastated over matpat I can’t handle change lmao)

Entertaining this idea, Janus is the representation of Thomas’ self-preservation, he had been allowed to lie to T about HIS OWN existence. The only other dark side we know is Remus and in his introduction he mentioned Janus allowing him present himself to T as he was accepting the darker sides to himself. Yet we have seen only the vaguest of hints about this Orange side, event after J has been accepted by Thomas and Patton. This means the orange side would either disrupts the tentative peace they’ve built so far OR Janus has reasons (self-preserving) for not allowing the introduction of O.

Another thing we have to keep in mind is Logan, most people have determined Logan is either the orange side, linked with the orange side, or is acting as some sort of barrier between O and Thomas. I am leaning more towards Logan might develop into the Orange side, mostly because the rainbow doesn’t have 2 blue colours 🌈. Yet Lo taking one for the team and maybe having the orange side try to come out or influence him but not allowing it to happen just to protect everyone else, this includes not showing/feeling any emotions (especially the ones that come more naturally to him like anger), it’s very heroic and something I wouldn’t mind.

Angsty any side is definitely my shit (only if there is a happy ending cuz i’m a damn baby) This fic concept is definitely something i’m intrigued by, if I end up using it as a writing exercise on my fic account i’ll give you all the credit!!

#nillatalks #sanders sides #thomas sanders #thatsthat24 #ts sanders sides #deceit sanders #janus angst #ts janus #janus sanders #logan angst #ts logan #logan sanders #logic sanders #remus sanders

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amazable01 · 2 months

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A little quick write inspired by @dailysandersidesaudoodles mafia mociet drawings. Soz if it's not great, I wrote this at midnight <3

TWs: Mafia-typical gun violence; coercion; morally gray sides; mentions of sickness, poverty, intoxication; description of injuries (bruising and being tied up); implied animal death (hunting); toxic relationship dynamics

“Can you do it?”

Four words. Four deceptively simple words.

Patton held it in shaking hands, eyes trained on the barrel in front of him. He’d never fired a gun before; never even thought about it. His pop had tried to teach him when he was little, but he’d never had the stomach to hurt the animals he was told to hunt. The ripple of power, the loud bang, the whimpering pain the creature released as red sprayed across the ground before him. Patton had vowed then and there never to hunt again, never to shoot a living thing.

And yet, here he was.

The man they had chosen for this was someone Patton knew all too well. A stock broker. A conman. A monster and abuser. And, of course, Patton’s boss. He’d been bound to a chair, tied down tightly to the wood. The bright ropes cut into his bruised skin to leave colorful dots and lines, not unlike a pretty package on Christmas. Even the green gag had been wrapped in the front in a sadistic mockery of a bow, all ready to be splattered and frayed with the shot Patton had been gifted.

The hand on him shifted, now placing its palm flat against his lower abdomen. Patton couldn’t tell if it was meant to be comforting, encouraging, or mocking. He… really didn’t think he wanted to know, come to think of it. Seeing that crooning face all over again wouldn’t help his rapid, unspooling indecision any more than it had the first time.

This group was Patton’s last resort. Almost destitute, Patton had crawled pityingly to their doorstep with his ill son in hand. Logan was of a sickly nature; brilliant of mind yet feeble of body. It had taken only one boy at school to walk in feeling under the weather, and Logan was unable to move on his own. Patton had tried to cure him, tried to pay for the treatments, and no one bothered to give any real help. He’d lost every penny on the boy he so desperately loved, and he was rewarded with being kicked to the curb by both his landlord and boss.

Janus was the lucky one to answer his endless pleas for sanctuary. The man brought them in, nursed Logan back to health with no cost. Not only that, he housed them and gave Patton a job close by in order to get back on his feet. He wanted Patton around because it was apparently rare to see such a bright mind and a beautiful face together at the same time. Patton had fallen for the flattery and adoration on the spot.

As time had passed, Patton became more desperate for Janus’ affections. The man acted like Patton was the most interesting little doll he’d found at a charity shop: only worth bothering with because there was a spark of potential and the soft slump of obedience in Patton’s gaze. And as for Patton, Janus was the very air he breathed: smokey and husky and tainted with feelings best left in the quiet hours after intoxication. At this point, Patton was under his spell completely, willing to do everything Janus had asked of him and promising he always would be.

And here they were now. Janus wanted to see precisely how far Patton would go if asked. Patton had promised once more he would do anything.

The gun trembles. He runs a finger over the hammer.

“Is he not worthy enough to die? Is my word not enough for you?”

An immaculate finger ghosts over Patton’s earlobe, barely there but enough to make him shudder in equal terror and agony. A tear wells up behind his lenses.

‘No one would know’, Janus had promised. It was to be their little secret, a truth unspoken to all and carried to the dusty grave Patton would be lowered in. It was to be his hell, his horror, his beauty and acceptance. In doing this, Patton would belong to them, to him. There would be no point in leaving after he made this choice; Janus would have more than enough evidence to get Logan off him before throwing Patton away somewhere so he wouldn’t talk.

Not that Patton would ever talk. He was in too deep for that, now.

“Maybe you need direction? Perhaps you have forgotten what I need of you…”

A hand cups Patton’s shaking one, and steadies it as Janus gently shifts Patton’s hand into proper aim. Patton watches as a thumb reaches around ever-so-gently, and cocks the hammer into place to prime the gun.

The man in the chair squirms and screams. Janus chuckles gently under his breath.

Patton closes his eyes, and shifts his finger onto the trigger.

“Fire.”

There was no other option, in the end. There was no world where Patton would not choose to obey.

#mociet #patton sanders #janus sanders #ts patton #ts janus #hope the mociet girlies like this one #i was planning on working on something bigger but inspo hit and i thought 'fuck it we ball'#i'll fix any edits in the morn #but hope ya'll enjoy <3

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slytherin-ghost · 1 year

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Hello would you mind writing a story on how the sides would react to a reader coming out as nonbinary to them (platonic or romantic)

Thank You,

Led

Hi, Instead of a story I made headcannons for each side.

Sanders Sides x Platonic! gn reader

Trigger Warnings: two mentions of being misgendered

LOGAN

Coming out to Logan would be easy

"Nonbinary? So you would use They/Them pronouns correct?"

Is very helpful at explaining what pronouns to use/ educating people on the topic

Definitely the type of person read everything they can find on the topic

"Logan what are you doing?" "Reading about being nonbinary, so I can help others understand it when you come out to them."

ROMAN

He would be so supportive

Buys a bunch of nonbinary pride things

"I got this nonbinary flag for your room!"

Will murder anyone if they disrespect your pronouns

"Y/N is nonbinary so it will be great if you would respect their pronouns."

Roman would be the one to go to if your feeling sad about others not being nice or respectful to you

PATTON

This man will squeal because he's happy for you

Is literally your #1 comfort person

As soon as he knows he'll start making nonbinary dad jokes

Will 100% try to throw a coming out party for you

Overall, is a supportive person and will 100% help you with anything you need

VIRGIL

He would be so supportive

Like the others sides would think he wouldn't care

No, he is so happy that you came out

" Good for you!"

He would be nervous about accidentally calling you the wrong name or saying the wrong pronouns

If he accidentally ever did misgender you. He would lock himself in his room.

JANUS

For once he would be truthful with you when you came out

I feel like besides Logan he would be one of the most understanding of the sides

He would never stop supporting you

Asks how you have been since you came out

REMUS

Is also supportive

He 100% comes up with dirty nonbinary jokes

He is not trying to be offensive with them it's just Remus being Remus

Like Roman, Remus goes all out when it comes to pride parades

#patton sanders #sanders sides #virgil sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #sanders sides x reader #gn!reader

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ashtonisvibing · 7 months

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"I dare you to..."

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Alternate Universe: None

Ship(s): Intrulogical

Character(s): Logan Sanders, Remus Sanders

Warning(s): Dissection, mentions of cannibalism, possible actual cannibalism (depends how you look at it)

Originally Published: Nov. 15, 2023

Author's Notes:

wowowow, sanders sides! i've finally added them to my roster, wowie!

intrulogical fanfic cuz i love my favorite lab rat x mad scientist couple :}c

side note, the cannibalism tag is on a technicality... and also as a "just in case". you'll understand when you read, but if it doesn't ACTUALLY count as cannibalism please let me know!

also... i have no idea how a dissection works, only time i dissected something was during biology when we dissected rats, and i barely remember how we did that. but hey, i think a messy and improper dissection is perfect for these freaks (affectionate)

pronouns check:

logan - he/him

remus - he/it

if you liked what you read, consider giving this a reblog, please! it'll let more people see my work!

[plain text: if you liked what you read, consider giving this a reblog, please! it'll let more people see my work!]

Full Story:

The squelching of blood and organs mixed with Remus' mindless chatter was always a mix that Logan enjoyed during their "dates", if one could consider cutting into your boyfriend and dissecting him a date. The duke was talking about his most recent idea to prank Roman, arms gesturing around as he tried not to interfere with Logan's careful slicing of his skin. The last time he accidentally got in the way he nearly lost a finger. Not like he hadn't caused himself to lose more than just that before, placing his dismembered limbs around the Mindscape was a real treat when he heard Patton and Roman's terrified screams.

"So, what surprise do you have for today's escapade?" Logan interrupted his boyfriend's endless chatter, having made the incisions and waiting to get any sort of hint for what could be under the nearly deathly pale skin. It was always something new with their dates. One time the duke had replaced everything inside of his chest- bones, organs, even the veins and muscles and blood- with globs of clay. The nerd's first sign that something was amiss should have been the fact that no blood had surfaced when he inserted his scalpel into the skin.

Remus simply gave a chuckle as he looked up at Logan. "What, you really think I'm gonna tell that easily?" He then made an attempt at wiggling his upper body seductively. To anyone else it would look awkward, the laying position he was in certainly didn't help. For Logan and his visibly blue with blush cheeks it did the trick quite well. "C'mon Mr. Scientist, crack me open and rearrange my insides like you did last night~" And that blue blush was quick to become the nerd's blue face, to which Re cracked a smirk. It wasn't hard to fluster his boyfriend, he had learned how to make his innuendos obvious enough for Lo to understand while still being able to have fun with the wording.

Logan cleared his throat as he adjusted the goggles on his face; he insisted on wearing eye protection, just in case he was splattered with any sort of substance once again. "The difference here being that I may have to gag you this time if you keep speaking like that." Dating Remus certainly had its ups. The innuendos and suggestive flirting was something that had rubbed off on him. And the duke absolutely loved it.

"Aww, don't threaten me with a good time, sir~" Remus laughed. "'sides, I know you can't resist all the sounds I can make~"

"Do you want me to literally open you up or are we doing something else now?" The nerd hummed as he looked at the man below him. Admittedly he didn't want this date to switch over to anything else so quickly. While it might not be obvious to anyone else who didn't know him well enough, Lo was excited to see whatever surprise awaited him in the chest cavity he had created in Re. He didn't want to have to sew his boyfriend up without even getting to see anything. Remus was honestly the only one who knew Logan well enough to see that excitement in the other's almost midnight blue eyes. How could he possibly pull his boyfriend away from this just for some sex, especially when it was obvious that he wasn't in the mood.

The duke gave a smile as he set his hands on either side of his abdomen, as if he was presenting whatever was in there to the nerd. "Open me up, berry. Think you'll be surprised by this round." He chuckled softly.

On that command Logan grabbed a couple pairs of retractors to pull the skin flaps back and hold them in place. And what he saw in the cavity was... Quite normal. Heart, lungs, liver, nerves, everything seemed to be there. There wasn't any discoloration, no weird textures. Everything was as red and pink and fleshy as it all should be. Lo raised an eyebrow as he looked around for anything that could be out of place. Maybe bugs were about to start crawling out from who knows where? Maybe a strange creature would pop out Alien style? But nothing happened. "Is this it?" Logan finally asked as he looked at his boyfriend's face. He couldn't help the bit of disappointment in his voice, Re's strange antics were why he loved these dates.

Remus simply shrugged in response. "Eh, not feeling that creative today." Before the nerd could retaliate the duke kept speaking. "How 'bout we play some truth or dare while you look around in there?" He let out a giggle. Now Logan was even more confused.

"Truth or dare..??"

"Yeah!" Re's giggle turned into a laugh as he nodded, his hands shooting up into the air. "That's what can be different this time! Playing a fun game together! Please, berry?"

Logan could never resist when his boyfriend pulled those puppy eyes, they made him completely melt. How could he not when the other looked as cute as he did? So he gave a sigh and nodded, picking up a scalpel to begin his dissection. Might as well do something while they played truth or dare. "Alright, alright. Who's going to start?"

"I will, I will!" Remus continued to laugh as he clapped his hands over his head. "Truth or dare?"

The nerd took a second to think his choice over. "Truth."

"Is it true that you looooove me~?" Re's question was ended in a snicker as he looked up at his boyfriend, cheeks a slight green. He was rarely ever corny with his flirting, preferring to be more sexual and gross. But he had his moments when it was just the two of them. And those moments always managed to bring a smile to Lo's lips and a flutter to his heart.

"I wouldn't be dating you if I didn't love you, you rat." Logan chuckled softly as he not-at-all carefully broke off one of Re's ribs to get a better look at it. He was still convinced that he would find something unusual about the other's insides. It happened with every other dissection. Why was this time any different? "Truth or dare?"

"Hmmmmm... Dare. Gimme a good one, a real... Creepy one." Remus chuckled softly, his arms crossing behind his head to prop it up a little.

Logan set the rib on a separate table beside him, where he'd keep anything else he'd pull out. They'd be placed back inside his boyfriend later. "I dare you to pull your eyes out."

Re's response was to blow raspberries at the nerd before easily pulling his vibrant green eyes out of their sockets with a comical pop, a black ink-like substance now oozing from the holes. He didn't seem very pleased by this dare. "C'mon Lo, pulling my eyes out is the oldest trick in my book! I did this a couple'a days ago to put them in Virgin's soda! Should've seen the look on his face, if he was Patton he would've vomited right then and there!" He gave a triumphant laugh before putting his eyes back where they should be, and the black substance stopped dripping. "Shame he's got a stronger stomach, but he went even paler than even my skin!"

"Apologies, I would have given something more horrifying, but..." The nerd drew out his sentence as he cut and pulled out one of Remus' kidneys, showing it off to his boyfriend. "I'm occupied with something else, as you can tell." The pair shared a chuckle - from Logan - and a laugh - from Remus.

"It's fine, berry. Just try to gimme something better." The duke smiled, taking his own kidney from the other to hold it in his hand and get a closer look. "Ain't nothing too gross for the Duke of the Macabre!"

"Of course, how could I forget?" Logan chuckled again, taking a pause from his work to take one of Remus' hands into his own, placing a soft kiss on the back of it. He couldn't help his smirk when he looked over at his boyfriend's face and saw the other's cheeks were a bright green. Some may think it hard to get the duke to blush and become flustered considering his crude and smutty way of flirting. Lo knew that all it took was gentle affection and the duke was putty in his hands. He just had to make sure no one else was around, but he was fine with keeping such moments private. It was his own precious secret.

The pair went back and forth with their little game for a while, the truths and dares getting more and more wild as the rounds went on. Until Logan asked for a dare, a shift from his truth preference, and Remus gave one

"Dare you to take a bite out of my intestine ya got there."

Sure enough, the nerd was holding his boyfriend's small intestine in his hands. The cavity was nearly empty by now. Only the heart, lungs, and small intestine having been left in. Logan did know that logically Remus would be able to survive without his heart and lungs, but he was still hesitant to take them out lest something go wrong this time.

The dare made him take quite a pause as it registered in his brain. He glanced at the organ in his hands, then at his boyfriend, then at the organ again. "Are you suggesting cannibalism?"

Remus gave a simple shrug in response, his eyes closed and arms once again crossed under his head. "Cannibalism, having a little snack, call it whatever ya want." He then snickered as his eyes opened to look at the other. "C'mon, don't chicken out now. No one else is here, they'll never know. We're technically not even real so, like, it's not really a crime, right? Don't gotta worry about infection, either! Promise I wash my insides every other day!" He then propped himself up by his elbows as best as he could so he could be closer to the other, those vibrant green eyes full of their usual mischief and chaos. "'sides, you're really gonna tell me you've never thought of it? What it might taste like? If it might gush with blood the moment you bite down into it, or how tender it might be. I'm not Janus but you can't lie to me. You're dating the Duke of the Macabre after all, you've gotta have some fucked up thoughts sometimes."

It honestly wouldn't be a lie to say that the thought had crossed Logan's mind a couple of times before. Of course Remus of all things had eaten human flesh before, mostly as a prank. Last Halloween he had tried to set out a bowl of assorted dismembered fingers and eyeballs and even tongues, and to try to prove his point that his bowl should stay among the actual candy, he pulled out one of the fingers and just ate it like it was a chicken leg. And while everyone else - save for Janus, the only other person besides Logan who was used to Re's antics - was utterly horrified, Lo couldn't help his thought of joining Remus to see just what it might taste like. Knowing the duke there was a chance that the bowl wasn't actually filled with body parts, only food made to look like such. But... Maybe they were. He now would never know, until now. He could satisfy his curiosity.

And so, after a surprisingly short think over, the nerd closed his eyes and bit into the intestine in his hands.

"... Blueberry-?" Logan spoke with the biteful still in his mouth, and with his eyes now opened he could see that... The intestine had turned blue, and had a gummy-like appearance to it. And sure enough when he started chewing, it was just like chewing a giant gummy worm. There was confusion written all over Lo's face that made Remus erupt with laughter.

"And that's the surprise! Gummy insides!" The duke sat up and reached over to the table where the assorted guts and bones sat, and all of those had turned into different colored gummies as well. He took a now orange stomach and bit into it with a happy smile. "Mmm, citrus... Think it might be grapefruit, can't quite tell." He shrugged before taking another bite, this time speaking with the candy in his mouth. "Figured I'd make this round more surprising by revealing it later." He swallowed his bite before continuing to speak. "Though I'm surprised, you didn't think over your dare that much before you took a good bite. Maybe you really are as fucked up as I am." He snickered.

Lo continued to stare at his boyfriend with that intended surprise before chuckling, hopping up onto the operating table. "Well, I am dating you after all." He took out the other end of the small intestine and handed it to Remus. "I'm sure I have to be... Fucked up, as you put it, to date you." Remus' smile grew more as he took the other end. Eating his gummified small intestine Lady and the Tramp style with his boyfriend wasn't a prediction for today, but it was certainly something he'd welcome with open arms.

"And that's why I love you, berry."

#ashton is writing #sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #logan sanders #remus sanders #intrulogical #tw dissection #tw cannibalism

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enby-trash-rat · 22 days

Text

Glasses

Fandom//Sander Sides

Part 2/?

Warning: Swearing

Story Written by:

@a-rat-called-remus and @viva-gardens

Remus' mind immediately wandered off as his brother continued to shout at the others.

It was a surprise Roman hadn't noticed Remus.

He had stared at him two times in a row when he was addressing all of them. And every time Roman's eyes landed on Remus, whether it was just a second, a new jolt of panic came ricocheting off of him nearly knocking the breath out of Virgil. Stuck in the storm that was raging in Remus' head.

He didn't know how to stop it.

He didn't know how to help.

It was clear now that the glasses weren't the only thing causing this. It was Roman. Roman was part of the problem. A major part. Remus' anxiety spiked every time Roman's eyes moved his way.

Which wasn't Remus-like behavior.

He never seemed to care about his appearance or whatever people thought of him.

Thomas seemed to be in his own little world.

Roman snaps his fingers. "Hello? Thomas! Are you even listening?"

Roman's voice snaps him out of the trance. Thomas startles, his head jerking up to face Roman before.

Thomas looked around to see everyone in their assigned spots. Which was odd . . .

Not to mention he hadn't summoned any of them Not willingly at least. Had he summoned them subconsciously? I mean sure Thomas was facing yet another dilemma. Nothing new. That was normal. But if Thomas had summoned every figment of himself maybe it was way worse than he thought. Usually it was just the core sides that were summoned whether it be intentional or not. But he had seemed to have summoned Janus and Remus as well. Thomas could feel the tsunami of anxiety radiating off of Virgil.

Thomas stared at the others in surprise.

"Roman, what do you mean?"

Roman looks at him and blinks "What?"

"I didn't summon you guys." Thomas states.

"You didn't?" Roman asked, he looked as confused as Thomas. If Thomas hadn't summoned them . . .

"No." Thomas shook his head. "I didn't."

Thomas started to worry more. A good 50% was probably from Virgil, basically radiating bad energy, but why were they here?

Patton, Logan, Virgil and Janus turn to look at Thomas.

They all had been thinking the same thing.

"Huh," Patton says after a while.

Logan looks around the room. "Well, there has to be a reason why we're all here. If Thomas didn't do it intentionally like he claims, well . . He had to have done it subconsciously, which isn't strange considering it's happened in the past but it usually meant there was something that was hurting Thomas." He states. It was strange and it certainly wasn't good. Like he had stated this was most certainly not the first time this has happened but how big could the situation be for all of them to be summoned? For once Logan looked confused.

Unlike Roman and most of the sides Logan had noticed Remus. He didn't look too well himself.

He seemed to be in a rough state himself, he seemed to be as anxious as Thomas and Virgil.

Which would explain why Virgil was more on edge than usual. He was absorbing Remus' anxiety and panic which definitely wasn't any help to Thomas.

"Not all of us are here. Thankfully."

Logan jerks his head in Roman's direction raising both of his eyebrows.

"No. I believe everyone is here." His eyes darted around the room again to take count of everyone. And as expected and not to his surprise, everyone was indeed present.

Roman. Patton. Janus. Remus and himself.

Logan looks back at Roman. "Yes. As I stated everyone is present, you're just not observant."

"Well, you're wrong." Roman shoots back.

Janus looks between Roman and Logan.

"May I ask who you believe is missing from this mess of a group?"

Roman turns to face him. "Isn't it obvious! Have you failed notice that a certain someone isn't here? That for once it is actually peaceful!"

Janus blinked at Roman, his lips twitching upwards. Curling into a smile.

His eyes flickered in between the Anxious and Princely side where Remus stood unusually quiet and distracted.

Janus' eyes had a glint to them.

He opened his mouth to speak, to correct Roman.

To tell him he was wrong.

That Remus was standing right beside him.

But just as he was going to speak he felt a pair of eyes boring through him. The set of eyes belonged to Virgil.

He was staring him down. Glaring daggers at him.

Those same eyes were begging.

Saying something that not just anyone could understand. Those eyes had a look in them.

A look that can only be described as, "don't."

He stared back, the smile fading as quickly as it had formed.

He looked back at Remus.

And it was suddenly clear what that look meant.

Remus was in a vulnerable state, and Janus hadn't even noticed. Sure, he noticed Remus wasn't talking nor doing anything destructive but he hadn't realized that he was in such distress.

He was supposed to be his friend, yet he hadn't realized the obvious, for once, Remus didn't want to be noticed.

The once obnoxious and carefree Duke was trying his best to hide himself.

Keep himself unnoticed.

Remus was scared. Terrified.

He didn't want anyone to see him.

Anyone meaning Roman.

Roman would make fun of him.

He would laugh and make jokes.

So, Remus stood in his spot, silent as he could be.

I'm feeling more anxious than I probably should be. Thomas thought.

"Virgil? Are you okay? I feel really anxious, and I know it's coming from you. I mean, you're anxiety. So, unless another one of the sides is that anxious, it would be you, right?" Thomas asked quietly.

Virgil was too busy trying to ground himself before jerking his up at Thomas.

So, Remus stood in his spot, silent as he could be.

He just really hoped his tentacles wouldn't do anything. He was overstimulated and usually when that happened they would---

Remus then heard a loud, SLAP. He turned and saw one of his tentacles backing away from Roman's face.

Roman whipped around and glared at Remus.

"WHAT THE F*CK WAS THAT? WHY DID YOU SLAP ME?" Roman screamed.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!" Remus shouted back unfortunately it came out more as a whimper.

He sounded pathetic.

Roman scoffed.

"Didn't mean to? DIDN'T MEAN TO? YOU SLAPPED ME!!!!!"

Remus stared at Roman in horror.

His heart was racing. He knew he was in trouble.

Roman would yell at him then see his glasses.

He would joke. He would laugh.

Remus cursed himself.

Why couldn't he control his tentacles?

He got in trouble because of them!

Roman was mid-yelling at Remus for slapping him when he saw the glasses.

"AND ONE MORE THIN-"

Remus knew Roman saw the glasses.

Suddenly Roman had gone silent.

He had stopped yelling at him.

Unless Janus silenced him.

Which Remus doubted.

"You have glasses?" Roman asked.

Remus stayed silent.

"PFFTTT- YOU HAVE GLASSES!!!"

Remus wanted to cry.

He wanted to leave. He didn't want to be here.

He wished one of his tentacles would slap Roman again, but none of them did. No such luck..

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rataticaisdreaming · 8 months

Text

day 2 - fusion @intrualityweek

Summary: When Remus and Patton can’t stop fighting, the mind decides to give them a chance to be in each other's shoes.

Pairing: Platonic Intruality (he/him for both)

Word Count: 1397

Warnings: Verbal fights / Hurt/Comfort / Intrusive thoughts / Remus being Remus / Cursing / Mention of sex

“Those are awful things, Remus! You should think of more cheerful… innocent stuff!"

"Oh yeah, because everyone wants to live in Care-A-Lot, daddy-o."

It has been like this for weeks now. Patton getting more and more distressed at Remus’ outbursts, which have been more common ever since the last major issue Thomas faced. Their fights seemed personal and within their own bubble, seeing as they were right next to each other. Janus and Roman had no problem ignoring them, it was so childish and unnecessary that not even Virgil was affected by this. It was getting annoying though. Once everyone left those two to bicker alone, Patton frowned and sank down to his room. The duke was so unsettling! It wasn't so difficult to keep your thoughts to yourself and keep things nice and decent.

Throwing himself to the stuffie filled couch, he reached for an old blanket and his Tender Heart teddy bear. A wave of sadness filled him, tears silently fell from his cheeks into the blanket he was holding so close. Everything felt like too much.

He hated arguments so much. The loud voices and negative feelings made him feel so small and overwhelmed. The need to just get out, get out, get out. How he closed his eyes and just prayed the tears wouldn't come out, this is not the time for big emotions. He just wanted to hide and make the feelings go away.

━

Well, fuck him. There he goes again with his big mouth and inability to just shut the fuck up!

No one wants to hear you anyways.

He is trying! He really is! Just spit out the mild ones so his head guts will be at ease until he comes back to his room. That’s exactly what he did… then why was today so difficult?!

You were never meant to be one of them.

And why the fuck is his brain not shutting the fuck up?! He just wanted some rest for God's sake.

You should impale yourself with the bed's wooden poles.

Just get in a onesie, what if you get tangled up and suffocate?

Get in bed and under the blankets, you should have hate sex with the others.

Hug your emotional support octopus stuffie and feel them hug you back… oh, the ways they could crush you to death.

Just close your eyes… It will be okay in the morning.

Except it won't be. It will be this over, and over, and over again until you die. Alone and in pain and no one will care about you…

━

"We need Patton. It's clear to me this issue needs his emotional expertise."

A quick hand gesture is all Logan needed to make the moral side rise in his spot. Eyes shut tight and in clear distress, softly bouncing on his heels.

"Sorry kiddo, your old man just needed a little rest. Felt more tired than a hooker after an orgy."

What… in the world?

The room falls silent and everyone is suddenly looking at him. Roman and Virgil look at each other stunned, eyes so big they seem ready to pop out. Janus scoffs in disbelief, like he finally heard how much of a petty bitch he is. Logan adjusts his tie, looking down at the floor, maybe he’ll find his worth somewhere in the dust. Thomas looks like he just saw a puppy being shot in front of him.

Wow, this little mind of his is not slowing down, is it?

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry! I didn't know why I said that… must be reaaally out of it! Maybe I just need some coffee and breakfast to get myself back on track." he said, awkwardly tiptoeing his way to the kitchen.

No one knew how to react to what just happened, so Roman spoke first.

“Maybe all that time with my brother is messing with him, speaking of him.” he said as he summoned Remus with an annoyed frown “Where is my copy of Princess and the Frog?”

Remus rose in his spot and stared at his twin like a deer in headlights, after a few seconds, he answered.

“I'm pretty sure I placed it back on the shelf.” he said, timidly hugging himself.

“Well, it's not there!”

The escalating tone made Remus flinch and look away, that seemed to be the wrong thing, because Roman spoke again.

“I swear in the holy name of Julie Andrews, Remus, if you did something to it…"

"I promise I didn't! I- I'm sure I placed it on the shelf, maybe I can help you find it! Just… Please lower your tone."

Roman was taken back by his response, his brother looked on the verge of tears. He has never seen the duke express himself like that. Weirded out was an understatement,

Before he could say anything, Patton came back and…

"Well, I can safely say the dishwasher liquid does not, in fact, taste like lemon and oranges."

Something was wrong.

━

"You will not leave this couch until you figure out what happened, do I make myself clear?"

It had been ten minutes since Logan left them there. Ten full minutes of distressed bouncing on his seat, eyes shut as he tried his hardest not to voice his thoughts. After what felt like an hour, Patton couldn’t take it anymore.

"Remus, all these thoughts… are they yours?" he said in a small voice Remus barely heard. "They are horrible…"

“I know they are!” he yelled, causing Patton to flinch. Upon seeing the reaction, the creative side broke down.

"I hate all of this! It all feels like too much!”

Patton’s knowing smile made him feel warm and troubled. A question popped into his head. He scooched over a little bit and started to fidget with his sparkly sleeves.

“Do you feel like this all the time?"

Patton looked up and sighed.

"Mhm"

"Do you get these thoughts all the time?"

Remus looked up with slightly red eyes.

"Yeah…"

"I never realized how much pain you were actually in… I thought you said those things to annoy us…" he started, receiving a soft laugh from the duke "But they are like a swarm! I need- I need them out!"

“Shh, it's okay. They will calm down, here, tug this string."

The moral side did with a tired hand, when he let go, a soft “quack” came out of nowhere. A tiny duck dropped from the air into his lap.

"Heh… And where did this little guy come from?"

“Little gift.”

A small giggle escaped from Patton’s lips and he changed his posture, visibly calmer and less tense. After working some courage, Remus decided to speak as well.

"I never knew you were feeling this much… It's suffocating. Every emotion feels fucking intense and it hurts! How do you live like this?"

"I just do… Comes with being the heart, I guess. My room helps me, it calms me down when it gets too much."

"Huh. Do you think I could… hang out there sometime?"

"Sure! Janus and Logan have been very insisting on the whole "finding a distraction" thing. We could do a puzzle together or watch a show."

"Yeah… I'd like that."

━

It has been like this for weeks now. Remus learning to use his inner voice, mindful of how loud noises impact the other’s emotions. Patton started to listen to Remus' ideas and ignored the ones that were plainly intrusive thoughts.

By the end of an afternoon discussion, they were already looking at each other in anticipation.

They sank down and arrived at Patton's living room. There was an unfinished puzzle on the coffee table as well as board game boxes laying on the side of it. Remus picked the neon green notebook and glitter pen and sat down next to the moral side.

They summoned popcorn, sodas and m&ms. Even some lemon slices for Remus. Whenever he got unwanted thoughts, he would write them down. Patton would hug his teddy bear, as a silent sign that they needed to slow down for a bit, when the emotions got too intense.

It was working for them. They also made a mental note to never anger the mind again. It would be fantastic to see Roman get all of Virgil's anxiety, but Remus was a good brother and decided to write that thought down for now.

#rat's fic #rataticaisdreaming #nothing like a fic that was written at midnight 😌✨#will probably revisit this one 🤔#really want to explore this idea further #sanders sides #remus sanders #patton sanders #intruality #intrualityweek2023 #intrualityweek #intruality week #sanders sides fanfiction

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delimeful · 1 year

Text

carry them home (5)

warnings: magical oaths, mentions of past harm/captivity, miscommunication/lack of communication, PTSD, food scarcity, cliffhanger

From a very young age, Janus’s life had been nomadic in nature. He had traversed all kinds of terrain, with all kinds of people, in all kinds of conditions. Whether fleeing or pursuing, when it came to travel, he was confident in his experience.

The gaggle of children he was currently stuck with were decidedly not expert travelers.

They clearly all had some level of skill in surviving on their own; being what they were, they wouldn’t have gotten this far without knowing that much.

Most changelings did. Naivety didn’t tend to linger long in those that were hunted simply for existing, especially as beings that didn’t truly belong to one realm or the other.

The wisdom required to hide from an Iron Guard member and the knowledge required to set up a functioning campsite were two very different skills, however, and Janus’s current accommodations proved as much.

The sun was setting, and the children had essentially come to a stop where they were and planted themselves in various nooks and crannies, getting comfortable in the cold, damp woods the way only fae could.

Janus, as one of those pitiful creatures that was more vulnerable to the elements, was left decidedly less comfortable.

To the surprise of precisely no one, he hadn’t managed to convince Vee to allow him to unbind his hands, or even have his bound hands held in front of him, rather than behind.

In fact, he was fairly certain he’d ended their first day’s trek with double the restrictions he’d started with.

“Be quiet, you’re too loud. Are you trying to wake the whole forest?”

“Stop lurking. Stay ahead of me— not that ahead!”

“Don’t talk to him. Actually? Don’t even look at him.”

The most galling part was that most of the orders weren’t even fueled by malice. They seemed more compulsive than anything else, following a strange sort of logic: everything he did was suspect in Vee’s eyes, and so everything he did had to be restricted.

Such measures might have seemed reasonable to the twitchiest changeling he’d ever had the displeasure of meeting, but they were horrible for Janus’s burgeoning headache. The more rules he had to keep track of, the more likely it was that he would accidentally slip and earn himself a jolt of nerve-burning pain.

Particularly after Vee had snapped, red-faced, for Janus to stop making faces whenever the group’s progress was stalled by yet another bout of bickering.

Talk about cruel and inhumane. His mocking expressions were a key part of his personality, thank you very much.

All in all, it was a welcome change when Logan approached to take his own turn guarding the hostage. Janus had to work to not shift too visibly when the change in watchers took effect, the low buzz of pain from so many overlapping orders sloughing off his shoulders like shedding a heavy cloak.

It wasn’t anywhere near debilitating, but he hadn’t missed the sensation, and was glad to avoid it as much as possible.

Vee had slouched off resentfully, but Logan was still standing there, surveying him with a curious frown. His wings were folded neatly against his back even though there was nobody present to keep the secret of them from.

“How may I be of service,” Janus asked, wrangling his tone into something only slightly sardonic through pure force of will.

A small, familiar voice in the back of his mind suggested that maybe he could just ask them not to use so many overlapping commands at once. He ignored it as thoroughly as he did all ideas that might involve unnecessary vulnerability, and resisted the urge to smile sarcastically only because he didn’t want his ability to emote revoked again so soon.

“How did you break my charmspeak?” Logan asked, voice kept low enough not to disturb the others.

(Not that it seemed necessary. The only one within hearing distance was Patton, who was already sound asleep, going by the gurgly snoring. Vee had sulked off to the nearby shadows, and the two nature sprites had, oddly enough, vanished the moment they’d decided to stop for the night.)

Janus raised an eyebrow, thankfully painlessly. “Subverting magical compulsion is something I’ve trained extensively in.”

Of course, that ‘training’ wasn’t generally willing, but that was beside the point.

“Why?” Logan asked, not even seeming to realize that he was leaning in slightly.

“I like to be prepared,” Janus lied, because none of them had thought to order that he be truthful. It was a common flaw with fae and fae-adjacent– bald-faced lying was an abstract idea to them, rather than an automatic instinct the way it was for Janus.

The answer didn’t seem to satisfy the siren, going by his frustrated scowl and the ruffled feathers Janus could spy along the curve of his wings. They seemed oddly ragged, for someone as precise as Logan.

“It wasn’t your magic at fault,” Janus added, throwing the kid a bone. “All magic has loopholes. You must know that much, or you wouldn’t have taken the precaution of binding my hands.”

He wriggled his fingers in example, a mostly pointless gesture since his hands were hidden, wedged between the tree he leaned against and the rest of his body. “Speaking of, I don’t suppose you’d be willing to give me a little more freedom of motion? I have sworn my harmlessness under blood oath.”

Logan straightened up slightly, expression flattening back out. “It would be inadvisable to leave you unbound to exploit any more loopholes,” he replied tartly.

“If you keep turning my helpful advice against me, I’m going to stop giving it,” Janus told him, and then rode out a wave of sharp oath-induced discomfort before sourly adding, “That was a joke. Far be it from me to stop giving you advice. Loopholes are one thing, but an oathbreaker, I am not.”

“We’ll see.” Logan had returned to the curious frown; Janus must have reacted a bit more to the oath’s sting than he’d thought. What a shame, for the infamous Silvertongue’s poker face to falter from something as banal as disuse.

The words slipped out, sharper than he’d meant them to: “I’m sure we will. Now, are you finished, or is sleeping another basic privilege that you plan to strip from me?”

A flicker of panic shuddered through him, an automatic reflex from years of paying the price for sass. It was never a good idea to insult their pride and give them ideas in the same breath, especially not while under oath.

Logan, however, only stepped back slightly, feathery ear tufts flicking as he cleared his throat. “Right, of course. We can speak more while traveling.”

“Of course.” Janus managed a stiff nod, still half-braced for retaliation as he tried to drag his mind back into the present. There was no reason for them to lash out in such a way, particularly since depriving Janus of sleep would only lessen his use to them.

(There had been no real reason for them to do it back then, either. Amusement and ego were reason enough, for some.)

It took him far too long to recover, even after Logan had awkwardly retreated to a nearby perch and turned his attention to keeping watch. He felt a burst of frustration as he leaned his head back against the tree trunk and forced his eyes shut.

He’d truly grown too soft, if hardships as simple as these had him in such disarray.

–

The next few days passed in a similar manner, his metaphorical leash swapped between Vee and Logan with just enough irregularity to keep him tense, though he doubted it was on purpose.

He liked to believe he knew the difference between psychological tactics designed to unsettle and the improvised planning skills of a tween, anyways. Even if his shoulders had firmly transitioned from aching to numb by this point.

It wasn’t like they had much of a reference for human durability, even as changelings. There was a big difference between living with humans and living as a human, after all. Janus was mostly just impressed they’d remembered to feed him.

Vee, of all people, had been invaluable in that regard. Patton seemed confused about the logistics of raw versus cooked meat, Ro barely understood what it meant for something to be ‘inedible’, and Remus was actively and blatantly trying to poison him. Eating seemed to be an afterthought to Logan, to the point that Vee was likely the only reason he hadn’t wasted away.

That wasn’t to say meals were pleasant. Vee provided him with the bare minimum as though daring him to say something about it, a challenge that Janus wisely refrained from rising to. The lack of complaint only seemed to make the kid angrier, though, so there was no winning.

He wasn’t allowed to forage for ingredients, despite the fact that his oath wouldn’t have let him attempt to poison them if he’d wanted to, so it was only natural that the issue of rations would come up sooner rather than later.

“There should be a town nearby. I have enough coin to buy provisions, and could likely barter for anything else we might need,” he mentioned, already anticipating the wall of suspicion his words would be met with.

“As if you could be trusted to wander around a human town,” Vee snapped. “Do you think we’re stupid?”

“Of course not.” Janus barely held back an eyeroll. “I’m simply beginning to wonder if you actually understand how a blood oath works.”

“You–!”

“It’s an unnecessary risk,” Logan cut in, effectively ending the discussion. “We’re getting by fine as it is.”

Humans needed to eat more regularly than most fae, which meant that Janus didn’t particularly agree with that assessment of the situation, but he wasn’t about to say as much. The only one who seemed to know anything specific about human needs was Vee, who had already made it quite clear that he didn’t care to fulfill Janus’s.

Janus set his jaw, and didn't contradict him.

So be it. It was only for a little while. He’d endured much worse for much longer.

Things proceeded like that for another few days, with Logan plotting out a new and improved course towards the mountains and Vee herding the other changelings away from Janus like an agitated sheepdog at every opportunity.

They might have continued like that for weeks, held fast to an uneasy, meaningless truce all the way until the end of the oath period, if Logan hadn’t fallen ill.

#sanders sides fic #ts janus #ts virgil #ts logan #ts roman #ts remus #ts patton #carry them home #cth #my writing #writing

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orbmanson7 · 1 year

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Expressing Anger: An Extensive Analysis of Logan's Statement in SVS:R

Let's talk about Logan's statement here, shall we? (This is a very long post; continue at your own risk.)

The last plot-specific episode, Putting Others First (aka Selfishness vs Selflessness: Redux), showed something unique about Logan that I haven't seen many people mention.

Logan spoke up about his frustration.

This may seem insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but hear me out.

Typically, Logan states facts and provable truths; he sticks to what he knows and what he believes will be useful for the topic at hand.

However, he has had moments of frustration, annoyance, and anger, alongside other emotions that he may or may not even be aware of, that don't necessarily counter the facts he relays, but can change their meaning and interpretation. In these moments, something precedes Logan's anger and he has, at times, responded impulsively instead of thinking through his actions and deciding on a better move.

Take, for instance, the moment in Learning New Things About Ourselves where Roman and Logan argue for a second time about clarification, and Roman remarks that Logan wasn't just going "above and beyond" with clarity but that he was going "overboard" with it and that it was stupid. This finally bothers Logan enough that he crumples up the card in his fist and shouts as he throws it at Roman, hitting him in the eye.

Now, Logan instantly expresses shock, confusion, and then regret after this moment, and then promptly apologizes for his behavior and suggests he should leave, likely to prevent the unusual situation from happening again.

Logan at no point in the rest of the episode addresses what caused him to react that way. He speaks on the initial argument he and Roman had, but focuses more on the root of the problem presented there and agrees to try to do better.

When it comes to his emotions, though, Logan's response is only to ever explain that he doesn't have emotions, which we (and everyone else) know is a lie, including Logan.

Because Logan doesn't bring up the frustration (and may have not fully realized it was frustration), there is no true reconciliation from Roman about what he said that upset Logan, nor from Logan about his harmful actions towards Roman.

This is a more common occurrence than one might come to expect, though, as Logan is either unwilling to or deems it unnecessary to address what causes his outbursts. And that's because anger doesn't just bubble out of nothing, especially not for him.

Anger serves the purpose of notifying others of when they've crossed a boundary, getting them to stop or change their behavior, and standing up for what someone believes in or standing against something they don't.

So, fast-forward to Putting Others First, and the scene where Logan is asked to provide information from a "real philosopher" to support what Patton was trying to explain, only for Patton to hit "Skip All" and effectively remove Logan from the discussion.

This is something far beyond having your methods labeled "stupid" in an argument, as Patton had asked for his help and then when that help was provided, Patton didn't like it. But instead of saying as much (instead of beating around the bush about it), he quickly took advantage of Janus' trick to 'skip' over Logan's dialogue. We are shown that Logan is then removed from the scene entirely, and there is no response to this action. They simply move on in their discussion as though it meant nothing.

Later, when Logan (the actual Logan) resurfaces, he does something he has never done before.

He expresses his frustration with the situation.

Well, I mean, he did technically admit once to being frustrated back in Moving On (Part 1), but that was only because everyone was also frustrated and he never mentioned anything about it beyond that. But in this particular instance in Putting Others First, he actually expresses himself in regards to his frustration.

He says it in a very passive-aggressive tone, stating "Not that any of you care, but I am unharmed. And I don't want to talk about it. I'm just here to deliver one last fact, and then I will do you all a favor and spare you my company."

This remark is full of anger, as anyone can see, but it's very interesting if we break it down and look deeper at each individual part.

First, he's addressing the other sides and Thomas' failure to respond to the action (wrongdoing) made against him by Patton (and Janus) earlier. He specifically says "not that any of you care," which is a very emotionally-charged thing to say for someone who prefers to stick to facts and stay objective.

He is assuming that they do not care, which could have easily been inferred by their lack of reaction and failure to respond to the action made against him. But even if it was true that they didn't care, Logan would have no way to know that this is absolutely true. (Note: I think they probably did care, even if they didn't show it, but they were all caught up in Thomas' problem and what Patton had to say about it that they pushed any concern for Logan down to a very low priority in that moment.) But he is stating this as though it is a fact.

This is odd because, as we've seen throughout the series, Logan doesn't often pick up on mood shifts and appropriate responses within conversation - his EQ (emotional quotient) is rather low, meaning he is prone to not always recognizing or understanding emotions (both his own or others'), not always picking up on body language or sarcasm or changes in tone, and not always knowing how to communicate effectively in certain situations.

However, there is one thing he seems to do when he's frustrated or annoyed that we've seen in multiple episodes, which is that he states what he thinks very bluntly. Now, this can be difficult to pick up on as Logan tends to speak very bluntly and concisely at all times, but the distinction to look for is the underlying emotion that is present in specific moments.

Take, for example, his part in the Incomplete song from Learning New Things About Ourselves, after Thomas says, "Actually, that was for your benefit," and Logan responds, rather bluntly, "I don't see how that can be relevant." While this was rude within its context, he is mostly just speaking bluntly. He is saying outright that he doesn't understand why this has anything to do with the discussion they were having. However, he is frustrated because he thinks the song is a waste of time, and he wants to say this objectively and resolutely, but he is angry and that anger coats his words, whether intentional or not. As such, his comment about relevance doesn't sound like someone who's confused, it sounds like someone who thinks they know better and is rudely telling them off for doing something wrong (and that's how tone change works!).

And because his words are perceived as rude and undermining, everyone around him reacts emotionally, which Logan then responds to with emotion, as well. His anger becomes more prevalent as he goes head-to-head with Thomas, purposefully pinpointing Thomas' negligence and desire to distract himself from the actual issue (because that's what he thinks all this singing and puppets really is - another distraction from the work that needs to be done). It's not until later, when he realizes this was a creative way to work through the problem for Thomas and was not actually a distraction, that he releases the frustration and tension he had throughout most of the episode, where he then continues to speak bluntly but without that underlying emotion tinting it.

Back to Putting Others First, his remark that the others do not care is steeped in this same emotion (but far more intensely), and while his words may seem blunt because of how he's speaking, they are not blunt at all - they're actually very sharp!

He is purposefully targeting them emotionally by saying "not that any of you care" and leaving no room for argument. He is stating it as if it were a fact, and likely knows that this will hurt them emotionally, to possibly give them pause to reflect on their own actions (or lack thereof) and feel regret. It's a form of retribution, something that anger is all about.

He wants them to feel how he felt.

In essence, this is a counter attack, a strike in return for the strike he received.

Moving on, he states that he is unharmed. Again, he is stating this as a fact, likely because it is a fact - physically, at least. But why mention it?

He is, again, poking at their emotions, by bringing forward their disregard to his safety due to their actions (or lack thereof). By saying "I am unharmed," what he means is "I could have been." And with the precursor of "not that any of you care," he is implying that they wouldn't care if he was actually hurt, and stating it altogether as though he knows it's a fact. Again, this is a phrase built for retribution, it's meant to invoke an emotional response from the others, to bother them and make them regret what they've done (which seemed to work, given their reactions).

What's a little odd is that, if this was only about any kind of physical harm, the others should be able to easily recall Logan stating he (as a metaphysical being) could not be physically harmed back in Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts when he endured multiple 'attacks' from Remus. He showed that these have no real-world impact and kept very calm and unbothered throughout them all to prove to Thomas that things would be okay and not to be scared.

So if they remembered Logan couldn't be physically harmed, they would have no reason to worry if he was okay after what happened. But Logan knows how much they did worry back in Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts, so much so that he had to show them multiple times that he was perfectly fine.

So, given that Logan was angry in this moment and wanted to provoke an emotional response, this just adds to the fodder. He wanted them to think about if he had gotten hurt and how he believed they wouldn't care if that happened. He wanted them to feel bad for not caring about him, regardless of whether it was even possible for him to get hurt in the first place.

We'll not get into emotional harm here, as Logan wouldn't have admitted to it if that was the case, and while it has definitely had an emotional impact on him, he clearly didn't want to address that, which is why he didn't clarify the type of harm in his statement.

After this, he states "and I don't want to talk about it." Again, this is probably actually true, as he is speaking about himself and what he wants, and he would know with certainty if that is true or not.

But here's the thing - when was the last time Logan has expressed what he wants? It's been a very long time, so I actually went ahead and rewatched old episodes to find this out. There are only 4 instances where he mentioned wanting or not wanting something throughout the series, the most recent being Learning New Things About Ourselves wherein he inferred that he didn't want to be seen as a joke because he needed to be taken seriously in order to do his job. The only instance where he has actually stated blatantly that he "wants" anything was in Accepting Anxiety (Part 1) when Thomas asked him if he wanted the other sides to weigh in on the issue, and Logan said that he did want that.

But, regardless, my point here is that this isn't really something Logan typically does. In this moment in Putting Others First, however, this is very significant, and the reason is because what Logan is doing here with this statement is establishing a boundary.

He is stating, resolutely, that he doesn't want to talk about his situation. He's expressed that he believes the others don't care about him and he's leaving it at that, with no room for their excuses, and then making it clear he wants everyone to move on with the discussion and not talk to him about it.

It's easy to think this may be untrue, that he does want to talk about it but that it's maybe 'too fresh a wound' to be comfortable doing so right now, but Logan is the type to be upfront and speak honestly. If he was bothered and wanted to discuss this later, he would have said that, even while angry. But what he stated instead was that he did not want to talk about it, establishing a clear and concise boundary, meaning the others should listen to that and respect it.

(This is also why Logan raises his voice afterward when Patton tries to placate him, which he just outright stated he did not want them to do.)

But like I mentioned already, this is one of the only times Logan has ever established a boundary for himself. He is someone who tends to find ways to adapt for the benefit of Thomas and the other sides, and this leaves him very open for making mistakes, experiencing failure, and enduring ridicule. And yet, through all this, he doesn't often state what he wants. He has, on many occasions, mentioned his suggestions for Thomas to improve himself, but he doesn't tell Thomas or the other sides that they need to adapt for him. He makes suggestions if there may be a benefit to Thomas (ex. telling Virgil and Patton to back off a bit in Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts), but he does not expect anyone to cater to his wants at all, which is why he is so surprised when he gets something he likes (ex. 12 Days of Christmas, Crofters The Musical).

The point I'm getting at here is that Logan doesn't really establish boundaries, either because he's learned his won't be respected or because he knows he needs to adapt for the sake of others and placing rigid rules can keep him from adapting as flexibly as may be required to do his job.

A weird example off the top of my head here to better explain this, but if he established a boundary that he didn't want, let's say, cookies to be eaten during discussions he has with others, he may recognize there could be some sort of convention to eating as a multitasking behavior to keep Thomas focused, or that he needs to placate Patton or the others to maintain their interest in a particular topic, or maybe he will learn that they learn better through a reward system and thus will have to pull back this boundary because he's seen that the pros outweigh the cons, no matter his reason for establishing the boundary in the first place.

It makes sense he doesn't want to waste time putting some rigid rule in place if he thinks it may need to be changed later in order to do his job, and especially if the other sides won't respect it anyway.

This is why we should fully believe that he means what he says about not wanting "to talk about it" and that Thomas and the other sides need to respect the boundary he just established.

Alright, moving on. Next, Logan explains that he only returned to give one last fact before he will be taking his leave again. This is less emotionally-charged than the rest of the statement, but there is still emotion there. He's telling them that he only came back to teach Thomas something here, so he is both saying he doesn't want to be around them but also that his priority here is his function and use to Thomas, not the other sides. If he didn't have anything useful to say, he likely would have never shown back up at all. Thankfully, though, he did, as it gave him a chance to express his anger, even though he's clearly holding a lot of it back.

But it's important to note here that Logan is playing in to part of the problem he's having, by only appearing in the discussion to fulfill his role and nothing more. He has come to recognize, especially due to events of this episode, that he is only needed to provide information to Thomas, and that (apparently) even that has its limits. Based on their words and actions, Logan believes the other sides do not want him to be included in the discussion. This was probably already the case long before this episode, given that he chose to use a less "invasive" method for his participation, only to be told immediately by Roman that he was unsuccessful in this. Logan would not have been making efforts to exclude his presence unless he knew it was something the other sides wanted. He doesn't decide things on a whim, he would have to have come to the conclusion that this was the best approach.

I specify "the other sides" here, by the way, because I don't know how true it is of each individual side or about Thomas' view on this, and I'm sure Logan isn't fully certain about that, either. Unfortunately, due to the events of Putting Others First, Logan may be more inclined to believe Thomas doesn't want him there, but there may still be hope that Thomas does.

So, Logan is playing into his role with this part of his statement, both indicating that this is what he thinks the others want of him (to be absent from the discussion) and that he may believe this is all he can properly provide to them at this point. And what I mean by that is that Logan may believe the others are right to not want him around, or that he may only be useful if he is limited to serving his function to Thomas and nothing more. This isn't true, of course, but if a situation is presented with the same conclusion over and over again, you're more likely to believe that that conclusion will always remain the same. It's understandable if Logan has come to believe this may be true, even if he hopes it's not.

On that sad note, we get to the last part of Logan's statement, which is possibly the part with the most emotion, though that emotion is less anger and more sadness.

He finishes his statement by saying, "and then I will do you all a favor and spare you my company."

There's...a lot here. Like I stated just before this, Logan believes the other sides do not want him around. And while, at face value, this sentence indicates that by leaving, he is doing what they want - in reality, that isn't the full story. Because this part is said with that underlying emotion - two of them, actually - anger and sadness.

The anger is directed at them and the wrongdoing that was committed against Logan, but the sadness is more directed at what Logan sees to be the likely truth. He is angry that the other sides dismiss him and don't want him there, but he is also saddened by this, especially because he thinks it must be a fact.

Hope is hard to have in the face of knowledge, after all. I may want to believe the sky is orange, but there's a hell of a lot of proof that it's blue, you know?

Positive thinking only gets you so far, and at some point, you just have to face the facts and try to keep moving forward despite the negativity of the truth. And that's what Logan has been doing, he's lost that hope that maybe there is some silver lining to how he's been treated, that maybe if he adapts enough then he'll finally be accepted, but this episode, this moment, must have been one of the absolute last straws for him, as he is certain of this truth now.

If anything, he can put that positive thinking to use for their benefit instead, and also be passive-aggressive again. This is why he says "I'll do you all a favor" in reference to him leaving. It's not just what they want, it's his gift to them. A big, shitty gift, one that hurt him a lot, but this is what they wanted, right? And shoving that in their faces, again, serves to enact that same retribution as before. He wants them to know he's been hurt and wants them to feel bad for what they've done. The only difference this time is that he's not just angry, he's sad because he knows it won't change anything.

Lastly, I want to note that he specifically refers to his presence as "my company" which I found kind of interesting. It's just a synonym, sure, but 'company' is usually used to infer companionship, that it's time spent with someone who you like to have around or someone who complements or matches you.

So for him to specifically use the phrase "spare you my company," he is either saying 1 of 2 things here - either 1) that he still sees them all as equals, but that he recognizes they cannot be companions with him by definition because they don't want to spend time with him, or 2) that he no longer wants to be considered companions because they do not want him around and that he wants this connection severed.

Overall, it seems this statement from Logan is embedded with emotion, namely anger, and he said it with the intent of causing an emotional reaction from the others. He expressed his frustration.

Now, it'll only be a matter of whether this is ever addressed in the next episode (one that's not an Asides) and if anyone bothers to reflect on or change their behavior regarding it to see its true effect on Logan.

One last thing I'd like to note:

Decisions made of anger are often impulsive and not well thought-out, they are driven by emotion and the need to feel vindicated. This can often evoke regret, the feeling that you made the wrong decision after having the benefit of hindsight.

It is completely possible that Logan may retract the statement he made in this episode. He may review it later and realize he was too emotional, and since he wants to be seen as serious and someone who makes objective decisions, he may regret his decision to speak in the way he did.

He may decide that establishing a boundary could hinder his ability to continue adapting to Thomas' needs and may wish to retract his statement to prevent this becoming a problem, but I doubt he would need to as Logan's personal concerns are very rarely brought into any discussion.

And he may still have hope that some of what he treated as fact was not actually true, and that the other sides do care or that he perhaps has another chance to change himself for their betterment.

That being said, he may come to regret this decision but may stick by it, either out of spite or failure to receive the retribution he desired. He might have come to believe much of what he said was factual and saw no need to counter it, or still has the barest hope that things can improve if he just keeps trying.

In the end, my hope is that this moment is given more meaning in the future, even if it's not addressed right away in the next episode. I would prefer Logan either finally stand up for himself and deal with the potential discord that comes from it, or that the others attempt to reflect on their behavior towards him and begin to change their ways. Obviously, Logan also has some work to do in that regard, but it would ultimately do him some good to speak his mind and genuinely express himself more often.

#sanders sides #logan angst #sanders sides analysis #logan sanders #ts logan #long post #orbs thought bubbles #might make this more palatable with gifs later #god it's so damn long I'm so sorry

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lio-the-chaotic-nonbeanie-weenie · 1 month

Text

Royal Promise

Summary: Or five times the twins made royal promises to each other and the one time they finally learned of its origin.

Pairings: None, BROTHERLY CREATIVITWINS

Warnings: Nightmares, slight mention of thunderstorms, angst, unintentionally u!patton and u!logan

(A/N: Fun fact the word count for this fic is 10, 792 words! My biggest word count yet!)

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For as long as they could remember, the royal promise was a special and almost sacred pact that the twins made. It was their thing that no one else had or did. They made it clear that it was special, something meant for royals or very big important promises that can’t be broken. It was a sealed deal and breaking a royal promise comes with heavy risks. The one who made the royal promise would deal physical pain to the one given the promise. So, the twins would take the royal promise very seriously. They never used it for anything small. Strangely enough, no one, not even Logan or the twins themselves knew of its origin. It’s just been their thing that they’ve had since the aftermath of the split.

Despite Remus being loud and rambunctious, he never really liked loud noises that weren’t his own. He didn’t like yelling either if wasn’t the fun kind. He hated it when the other sides started arguing and yelling. He didn’t like it when Virgil screeched or when Patton cried out in anger. He didn’t like it when Logan angrily told him off. He didn’t look like it, but Remus also hated the loud noises that thunderstorms made. Sure, he could play in the storm all he wanted but once he heard that loud bang of thunder, he’d run back in to either hide somewhere or go cling to his brother.

This is why Remus has a hate-love relationship with storms. They’re fun to play in but they’re loud and noisy and they make him think too many bad thoughts. What if lightning hits their home and catches it on fire? What if it hits Roman and he catches on fire? What if it hits Janus or Virgil? What if the thunder banged so loud his ears exploded and he can’t hear anymore? Janus had already told him those things can’t happen, but Remus’ mind isn’t exactly good at staying quiet for even five seconds.

That’s why Remus finds himself restless one night as a storm rolls in. According to Logan, this storm was going to be a big one. That meant lots of thunder and lightning. While everyone else seemed to be getting cozy for the evening, Remus was coloring on the floor while his twin brother seemed preoccupied with something else that he can’t see. Meanwhile, Janus is sat on the couch and reading his book. The heavy rain is already starting to pour outside the window.

Remus looks up from his coloring book and gazes at the window, the storm whirling and swirling with rain outside. He hopes it’s just rain and nothing more. He then glances at Roman and hums curiously. His brother had come running in with a bunch of stuff and said he was going to make something. When Remus asked to help or watch, Roman said no and that this was very important that he had to do it alone. Remus was a little hurt, but he knows Roman cares about his creations, so he let him be. He’ll probably show him later. He then huffs and sighs.

“Are you done yet, RoRo?” Remus whines, flopping onto his back.

Roman chuckles.

“Not yet, Ree.” he answers, turning to flash a quick smile at his twin.

“But you’ve been working on that—”

Lightning then flashes brightly and-

BANG!

The thunder followed, loud and almost monstrous.

Remus jolts and squeaks before running off to his and Roman’s bedroom, squirming under the bed.

Meanwhile Janus sighs and closes his book.

“Oh, Remus…”

He then climbs off the couch.

“Don’t wander off, Roman.”

“I won’t.” Roman replies without looking up.

Janus nods, curious as to what Roman is up to. He wouldn’t tell him either. For now, he makes his way to the twins’ bedroom. He opens the door and looks around the messy room they share.

There’s stuffed toys and pillows strewn on the floor by the bed. Crayons and papers filled with drawings are scattered on the desk by the window. A paper crown sits on the red chair and a big book sits on the green chair.

“Remus?” Janus calls. “Where are you, little squid?”

Rumbling thunder replies instead and Janus inches towards the bed, pausing when he hears it creak and something thump under it.

“Remus, are you under there?”

A soft whimper.

“No…”

There he is…oh dear, he sounds scared.

Janus goes over to the other side of the bed and smiles when he sees Remus’ butt sticking out from under the bed along with his wiggling feet. He sighs and crouches down.

“Boo.”

“Eep!” *thunk* “Ow!”

Janus laughs a little.

“You really are so good at hide and seek.” he teases.

Remus squirms, still trying to hide under the bed. His chubby tummy stops him going in any further though.

“I am hidden! The thunder can’t get me here if I hide!” he huffs before squeaking as the thunder rumbles again.

“Remus…you know thunder can’t hurt you indoors. You don’t have to hide.” Janus replies, tugging on his leg.

“No!” Remus squeals, yanking his leg away from Janus. “I’m hiding here until the thunder goes away!”

Janus sighs. He loves the twins, but damn are they stubborn.

“Remus…”

Then Roman comes running in.

“Janus, did you find Remus yet?” he asks, hands hidden behind his back.

Janus nods and tips his head.

“He seems determined to hide under the bed until the storm passes.” he answers, moving aside.

Roman giggles and goes around the bed, plopping on the floor.

“I thought you loved storms, Ree.” he teases, poking his twin’s leg.

“Not when they’re stupid loud.” Remus huffs.

Roman smiles sadly. He knows his twin hates loud sounds that aren’t his. There are even days when he gets overstimulated from outside noise. He then pulls out what he’d been working on behind his back.

“I have something for you. You’ll have to come out from there if you want to see it.” he says a moment later.

“For me?”

“For you.”

It takes a moment, but Remus manages to squirm out from under the bed, shaking the dust out of his messy hair. He then sits up and blinks. In front of him on Roman’s lap is a cuddle-sized, green octopus with black button eyes and a matching mustache. There are patches of red here and there on its head.

Roman grins.

“I know you don’t like storms and you don’t have a little friend with you like Mrs. Fluffybottom. So, I made one for you! Do you like him?” he hands the octopus to Remus.

Remus takes it with wide, red sparkling eyes.

“He’s…He’s so ugly!” he giggles, hugging the plushie close. “I love him!”

“Perfect! He’ll keep you safe and sound from the storm.” Roman grins.

Remus blinks at that and gazes at his new octopus friend.

“Really?”

Roman hums and nods.

“Yeah! He’s got the strength of a mighty kraken and he’s not afraid of anything!” he grins. “I promise, he’ll always protect you!”

“I dunno, RoRo…sounds like a big promise.”

Roman thinks then gasps as if he remembered something and makes a crown shape with his hands, placing it over his head.

“I royal promise then! That way, he’ll never lose strength!” he grins wider, proudly even.

“Royal promise?” Remus tilts his head.

Roman nods.

“Yeah! It’s a strong promise because I made it with my prince powers!”

As Janus hears that, he jolts for a moment. Those words…royal promise…they sound so familiar and distant at the same time. A tiny part of him curses the twins for reminding him of the past so much. He wonders how Roman even remembered that. Maybe…no. It couldn’t be. That person is long gone. Still, Janus aches. He can still see him in the twins though. He says nothing and smiles fondly at them instead.

Meanwhile, Remus finally grins as he forgets the storm.

“Okay, I believe you, RoRo.”

“Yay! What are you gonna name him, by the way?”

Remus thinks then grins wider.

“Squishyboo!”

When it came to being Creativity, the one thing the twins hated was how creative their minds got at night. Sure, they could dream of anything each night but sometimes their minds like to take the shadows from their thoughts and morph them into nightmares. Nightmares that seemed far too sick and twisted for even Remus’ already dark self. Nightmares that felt like a curse, repeating, and replaying all too vividly. Not even Roman’s creative light could save them both.

Remus’ nightmares often melded with his intrusive thoughts. The shadows would steal the darkest thoughts they could find and create an even darker dream. Dreams of desolate worlds. Dreams of war-torn kingdoms and abandoned castles. Dreams of silent rooms with colorless walls. Dreams of a lost friend and a broken family. Dreams of fallen princes and lost kings. Dreams of pain and screaming. It always led to Remus waking up with a terrified scream.

Roman’s nightmares liked to play tricks on him. Every dream would start nice and warm…but then it would slowly turn darker and darker until it became a nightmare. A warm, grassy field would slowly turn cold as the green melted away into brown. A bright castle with flickering, welcoming candles would slowly put its lights out one by one until darkness took over the whole palace. A Duke dancing about on stage would slowly grow pale until he collapsed, and the stage fell. A powerful king would slowly grow weaker and weaker until he falls apart, screaming in agony as he tears himself in half. It always left Roman waking up with a horrified sob.

Tonight isn’t any different. The twins had been put to bed by Janus as usual and were sleeping, sprawled out against each other. Due to the intensity of some of their nightmares and never wanting to be separate, they insisted on sharing a room. Janus let them, knowing how much they needed each other. Remus could hold Roman down when he’d started flailing and Roman could calm Remus down if a nightmare left him a bit lost. As Roman sleeps, his creative mind starts playing with his shadows.

Roman finds himself standing in a living room he doesn’t recognize. The living room he knows has dark grey walls with pictures of him and his brother and Janus on them. The floor he knows is a darker grey and has a soft, mustard yellow round rug in front of the tv. This living room is…bright and warm. The wallpaper is a light shade of beige, and the floor is an off-white with no rug.

He looks around and nearly jumps, seeing two figures staring back at him. He looks to his side and Remus is there, holding his hand. He seems upset. Roman doesn’t know and looks back at the figures. They seem to be talking warmly. Roman tries to step forward but finds he can’t move his legs. Oh. He swallows and looks around. He sees Janus standing by on Remus’ other side, head bowed.

“Janus?” Roman calls.

Janus looks up and Roman sees a sad, almost regretful look in his eyes.

“I’m so sorry…”

“What do you mean?”

Before Janus can say anything more, the two figures turn and step towards Roman. In the light of the living room, Patton stands with an unsettling grin, his eyes far too wide with excitement. Logan stands beside him with a blank look, dull eyes gazing at nothing. It makes Roman’s skin crawl.

“Okay, kiddos! Say your last goodbyes! We’ve decided to take Roman and keep him here!” Patton exclaims, tilting his head a little too much.

Roman jolts as the lights flicker.

“B-But what about Remus?” he asks.

Patton laughs and it’s almost ear piercing.

“Oh, don’t be silly, kiddo! Remus has been naughty. He can’t stay here. You don’t need him.”

“H-He’s my brother…what do you mean he can’t stay, and I don’t need him?” Roman whimpers.

Logan leans down and stares at Roman.

“Your brother is not fit to be with us. He is not needed here. Until we can…dispose of him, he will remain with Janus. We will dispose of him once you have been moved here, Roman.”

Roman’s eyes widened.

“A-Are…Are you splitting us…again?” he whispers.

Patton giggles and it seems even louder, his grin twitching.

“Just to be safe, kiddo!”

The room grows darker and Roman tries to move again but he still can’t. He turns towards Remus, reaching out for him.

“Remus!”

Remus tries to reach back only for Janus to grab him.

“Forgive me.” Janus whispers

And Remus goes limp in his arms.

Roman gasps in horror, pain spreading through him.

“No! Give my brother back! Give him back!”

Patton laughs again. He laughs and laughs and laughs. The sound rings and echoes.

“Now, now. Be a good prince, Roman.”

Roman desperately tries again and again to move, arms flailing out as he tries to reach out for Remus.

Janus just turns away with Remus in his arms before fading.

Patton’s laughs grow even louder and it’s making Roman’s ears start to ache. Logan stares at him again, a hand on Roman’s shoulder.

“He’s gone now, Roman.”

“No…No! Bring him back! I need him! I need—”

Roman gasps.

“-REMUS!”

Roman tries to move again but finds that even now he still can’t and flails around, a heavy weight on top of him.

“Let me go! I need to find him! I need Remus!” he whimpers.

“Easy, Ro! It’s me! It’s Remus!”

Roman blinks and his flailing slow to a stop as he squints in the dark. He sees a green blob and after another blink, he recognizes it as-

“Ree?”

Remus gets off of Roman and smiles softly.

“I’m right here, RoRo. I’m not going anywhere.” he replies.

Roman sits up and stares at Remus in the darkness of their shared room, the only source of light coming from their glow-in-the-dark star stickers on the ceiling. Blood red eyes stare back at him and Roman can’t help but launch himself into his twin’s arms.

“I don’t want you to go!” Roman wails.

Remus hugs back, patting his twin as he does.

“I’m not leaving, RoRo. I’m right here.”

Roman sniffs and hiccups at that, pulling away to gaze at his twin. He’s still there. He’s still awake. He’s not limp like in his dream or—

“RoRo?”

Roman hiccups again.

“T-They tried to split us. Again. Morality and Logic. I don’t want you to leave. I don’t want to lose you, Ree.” he whispers. “I don’t care if they think you’re bad. You’re my brother and I need you.”

Remus feels his heart ache. Is that what those light sides really think of him? Are they so cruel that they can’t let him be with Roman? He huffs and pouts, cupping Roman’s face and squishing it.

“Who cares what they think? They can’t keep us apart no matter what. Janus won’t let that happen either.”

“B-But my dream—”

“Is just a dream, dummy. No one will take me, and no one will keep us apart.”

Roman blinks and sniffs.

“P-Promise?”

Remus grins, letting go of Roman to form a crown above his head with his hands.

“I even royal promise, Ro.”

Remus then pulls his brother into another hug, glaring ahead. He’ll make sure no one ever splits them again. Especially not those two. He’ll shed blood if he has to.

Meanwhile, Roman’s sniffles slowly quiet down.

“Thank you, Ree.”

And Roman slips into a peaceful slumber this time, clinging onto Remus’ sleep shirt.

They were split anyway. It wasn’t their choice, however. Morality decided that Roman needed to be with them in order for things to be more…balanced. That day, the Mindpalace split as well with the Light sides above and the Dark Sides being shoved down a little closer to the subconscious. Janus didn’t like the idea but there wasn’t anything else he could do. He tried to fight for the twins, but Morality insisted on this and of course, who did Thomas listen to more? Morality always did have more influence over everything.

Roman barely remembers the day of the Second Split. With time passing on, it’s becoming more and more of a blurry memory. He doesn’t know why and not even Logic will tell him. Still, Roman knows he feels incomplete. He doesn’t like being apart from Remus, but Morality is right, isn’t he? He’s a light side now and he must be good. And yet…Roman missed Remus.

Roman missed his twin. He missed giggling and playing with him. He missed having adventures with him and fighting off nightmares. It took so much time to get used to sleeping alone. He’d spend nights crying silently after every nightmare. He missed having someone to hold him down when he’d flail. Sure, Patton was…kind and he made warm milk, but he wasn’t Remus. Remus would always assure him that his dreams are just dreams. He’d tell him silly stories until he laughed his tears away. He’d hold him till he fell asleep.

So, Roman finds himself lying awake again as he wracks his brain. It’s been a year since the Second Split, and he can’t remember much of it. He’s still trying to make sense of it but refuses to believe that Remus and Janus were bad. Sighing, Roman sits up and glances at the door.

He wonders…

Before he can stop himself, Roman shrugs his blanket off and stands up from his bed.

“Need Remus…” he mumbles to himself.

Roman glances at his bedroom door before going over to the other side of his room. He has yet to decide where to put the door to his Imagination, so he summoned a portal instead. As long as he had no door, Patton couldn’t follow him in. This felt all wrong but Roman finds himself not caring all too much.

Roman then steps through and closes the portal behind him. The Imagination greets him with a cool, evening breeze. It makes Roman feel a little more at ease. He wishes he could sleep here but with his nightmares still intense, he didn’t want to risk them affecting his beloved world. Roman sighs and begins walking through the grassy field. Usually, he starts at the forest, but he didn’t feel like it tonight.

It feels calm and peaceful, walking through the sea of dark green. Fireflies even join in on his trek, lighting his way. Roman finds himself humming softly, tilting his head up to admire the twinkling stars he placed in the sky. Off in the distant sky, two bright stars glow side by side. One green and one red. Between them is one big golden star. Roman doesn’t recall making those but he adores them anyway.

Soon, Roman finds himself wandering further and further. Past the sleeping village and the castle. Over the rocky mountains behind the kingdom and across the river below them.

At the end, Roman finds himself walking towards the ravine that separated his side and Remus’. He remembers hearing the Mindpalace rumble on the day he and Remus were separated. When he returned to the Imagination, even this world had split in two. The twins had formed a bridge with a gazebo in the center where they could meet every day. The bridge was white on Roman’s side and black on Remus’. No one knew about this but Janus who kept quiet for their sake.

Roman walks towards the bridge and makes his way over, sighing as his hand finds the barrier that kept them apart. Neither twin could go over to each other, and it seemed Morality made sure of it. Roman sighs then…he hears something rustle on the other side. Had he been caught or—

“RoRo!”

From behind a bush and holding a baseball bat, Remus runs out and meets his twin at the barrier. He couldn’t sleep either and snuck out.

Roman gasps and grins, his hands meeting Remus’ as they pressed against the barrier.

“Ree! I missed you so much!”

“I missed you too, dummy.” Remus grins back before sitting in front of Roman. “So, how is it over there in the Light Side?”

Roman sighs and sits too.

“It doesn’t feel like home. There are too many rules and too much work. Morality and Logic are no fun either.” he huffs.

Remus tilts his head. Morality and Logic? Something didn’t seem right about this and his brother, but he decides not to question that for now.

“That’s sucky.” he says instead. “What kind of work are you doing? Do you still get to create stuff?”

Roman nods but then…he sighs again. Ever since he moved to the Light Sides against his will, he’d been losing more and more of his creative freedom. He’d been given rules to follow, filters to watch out for, and an unending mountain of drafts that he had to revise because the original just wasn’t good enough anymore.

“RoRo?”

Roman pulls away from his thoughts and shakes his head.

“Logic gave me a bunch of dumb rules to follow.” he huffs. “He says I have to get it approved by him and it has to be appropriate. So, I followed all the rules and he’s still being a butthead about it. I just can’t please him.”

Remus frowns and so badly wants to hold his brother. Or beat up Logan for making his brother sad. If he could, he’d do both now. For now, he places a hand on the barrier.

“Who cares what that boring towel thinks? He wishes he could create as good as you, Ro!” he exclaims. “Besides, I bet your stuff is still super cool and his eyeballs are just too broken to see it! He’s dumb!”

Roman snorts and giggles.

“Ree! He can’t be dumb, he’s logic!” he squeals.

Remus smiles. His brother looks so exhausted but at least he’s happy for now.

“Yeah, but he’s not creativity! He’s not the boss of what you create and how!” he giggles. “What about Morality?”

“He’s…okay. But not like Janus.” Roman replies once he’s calmed down. “He won’t let me have extra snacks and he keeps telling me everything I do isn’t princely like.”

Oh no.

Remus frowns and tilts his head.

“What do you mean?”

Roman pouts again and Remus hates what those jerks are doing to his brother.

“He has even more rules. It’s not princely like to be late to dinner or it’s not princely like to make inappropriate jokes. I didn’t even make a joke like that! It was just a fart joke!” he huffs.

“Then they’re both dumb and they don’t get us.” Remus also huffs. “If they want to be goody, goody babies then let them. You don’t have to let them boss you around.”

Roman sighs and leans against the barrier. If he leans hard enough, he could feel Remus’ hands.

“I guess…I don’t like it here, Ree. I don’t wanna be perfect. I just wanna be with you and Janus where everything made sense.” he mumbles.

Remus smiles sadly, wishing he could pet his brother’s hair. He knows Roman likes it when he does that. It’s very calming to both, surprisingly. He wishes his brother was back here too. Ever since his brother was taken, Janus has been sad and drinking a lot. Like a lot more than usual. Their space had grown quiet as well and nothing felt the same without his twin.

The dark creativity then gazed at his twin. Roman looked so tired. So exhausted. Even his eyes looked…less green than it used to be. It made Remus feel angry at the so-called light sides. Who were they to call themselves high and mighty while hurting someone they wanted to be as one of them? Remus feels his thoughts whispering to go up there and deal with them, but he knows Roman wouldn’t want that and he’s needed here more. So, he tells them unkindly to shut up and decides he’ll figure out a way to get his brother back. Even if it means kidnapping him.

“What?! Remus, you can’t kidnap me! Morality’s going to be mad, and he’ll never let me see you!” Roman exclaims, jolting his twin out of his thoughts.

Remus blinks.

“Huh?”

“You muttered that out loud.” Roman frowns. “Don’t kidnap me or do anything else, Ree. I don’t want them to separate us even more than we are now.”

Remus sighs.

“But…”

Roman places a hand on the barrier, giving Remus a pleading gaze.

“Please, Ree…I need you…”

Remus’ shoulders droop. His brother was right.

“Fine…” he sighs. “I just hate that we’re split like this. I miss you, Ro…”

Roman smiles softly.

“I miss you too, Ree. I promise I’ll find a way to bring us back.” he whispers.

Remus returns the soft smile.

“Royal promise?”

“I, Prince Roman, Royal promise.”

And Remus smiles more as Roman forms a crown above his head with his hand. As the twins talk the night away, the barrier weakens, and the ravine silently closes in a little.

One day the barrier finally broke, and the twins could go to each other. The ravine stayed by their choice to keep their sides of the Imagination safe, but the bridge remained, its foundation stronger than ever. The twins also decided to keep this a secret, sneaking into their domains in the evening to meet at the bridge. They’d play in the evening then separated just before the sun came up.

Of course, as time passed, there were ups and downs. Fights and arguments. That didn’t break their bond even if they’d screamed at each other about hatred and despise. They would feel guilty at the end of the day anyways and would come running to each other to apologize.

They went through many more things. From Virgil changing sides suddenly to Roman being hurt by Janus and Remus introducing himself to the Light Sides officially. Of course, he and Roman had to put on an act to keep their secret, well, a secret. Janus and Virgil knew though.

Roman never really interacted with Virgil during his time with Remus and Janus. He saw him once in the kitchen and freaked out, running off. He still feels bad and wonders if that’s why Virgil was so snarky when they finally met.

When Remus had finally made himself known and went with the act that he and Roman rehearsed, he felt a little bad about whacking Roman in the head. As soon as the episode was done, they met in the Imagination and Roman let Remus triple check to make sure his brain was still there.

When Janus had gone too far with Roman, Roman had angrily burst into the Imagination and went on a rampage. Remus followed and calmed him down, helping him out of his spiral before they went to see Janus. One deep conversation later and things were on the mend. Or as mended as it could be.

Due to Roman’s time in the Light Side, he’d been getting worse and worse. He’d be far too busy these days and even much more exhausted. His costume had been growing baggier and baggier. His smile had become strained, almost fake. Tired. Worst of all, Roman grew quiet and serious. Remus didn’t like it one bit. They had changed his brother.

So, one day, Remus set out to the Imagination to go see his brother again. He had a bad feeling about him at the moment. Especially since he could feel some sort of pain twisting in his gut. It’s a blessing and a curse but ever since The Split, the twins had been able to feel each other’s pain no matter how big or small. Janus called it a twin bond or something. Remus hates how it makes him feel this constant dull throbbing from his brother. Roman hates how he feels nothing from Remus, envying how he didn’t have rules to follow or roles to play.

Remus keeps trekking on through the grass field, using his twin’s shortcut. It’s the dead of night both here and in the Mindscape so he’s not too worried about being caught. The Intrusive side sighs and gazes ahead, seeing the tiny lights of Roman’s little village off to the side, his bright and tall castle stands just above them. Actually, the castle seemed a little dimmer these days and it made Remus frown.

Sure, Remus could have gone through his own side but ever since he made himself known to the others, he stopped giving a fuck about the rule of where he was allowed to go. He’s even made it clear that he could go where he damn well pleases. Especially since he’s had enough of them splitting him and Roman. This led to Remus finally barging into Roman’s room to check on him, only to find his door to the Imagination left open. So, Remus followed and here he was.

Remus then continues walking through the village, feeling a bit uneasy from the silence. Sure, it may be evening, and the people are asleep in their homes but not even the cicadas and the crickets were singing their songs. It made the whole place feel…dead. The Imagination has always been in tune with the twins’ emotions and lately Roman hasn’t been feeling his best. It seems the Imagination knew that. Even the little patches of grass and weeds drooped downwards into the dirt as if they hung in their heads in sorrow.

Remus shakes his head.

“Oh, Roman…”

The Duke continues on, heading up the path and past the homes of the nobles. Through one of the windows, Remus could see a family gathered together at the table for dinner. At least they were happy. It made Remus want to gag as he tears his gaze away, hurrying towards the golden gates. The guards there merely turned before looking away. It seems they were also worried for their prince.

“Yeah…I know how you guys feel.” Remus mutters as he walks through. “I…I’ll talk to him.”

The guards nod in return and Remus continues on. The Intrusive side then walks up the path and through the gate, making his way through the courtyard. There’s no sign of anyone. Not even a single noble or a maid around the fountains. It’s unusually quiet and it surprisingly disturbs Remus. Sighing, Remus continues on his way and enters the main doors. Somehow, it’s even quieter inside. There’s usually so much going on that Remus refuses to take the front entrance and prefers to bust through the window. Today, however, no one is around here either. At least, Remus thinks so.

Remus wanders through the foyer and towards the throne, pausing when he finds the doors left ajar. Usually, they’re left wide open for Roman’s people to come see him when he’s at his throne. It makes the Duke hum in worry as he enters cautiously, wondering what his little brother had done to them…and to himself. Breathing out and ignoring the intrusive voices in his head, Remus enters the throne room and finds-

“Mama?”

“Remus. I’m glad you’re here, dear.”

Maleficent. The Dragon Witch and Roman’s so-called enemy. Every now and then she’d fly over the village, pretending to attack and Roman would save the day. Maleficent, or Mal for short, was always happy to play her role to see Roman happy. Roman worried about hurting her too much but was always assured that she could take his hits. Mal would continue to do fake battles and when she wasn’t, she lived in her tower up in the far mountains of Roman’s realms.

Mal also acted like a mother figure for the twins in return for them saving her life after the split. She was going to vanish along with The King who had named her after the character from Sleeping Beauty, but the twins chose to save her. In return, Mal became their guardian and caretaker. Their mother. She would be the one watching over them for her fallen king, making sure they were safe whenever they visited the realm.

Remus ambles over and greets her.

“You never show up in the throne room, mama. What are you doing here?” he asks.

“Something didn’t feel right so I came over to check on Roman. I must have scared the people away when I arrived.” Mal explains. “I tried to talk to your brother, but he won’t even answer to me.”

Remus sighs, a hand on his chest.

“I can feel his pain. It…It hurts so much…” he mutters.

Mal sighs.

“I know, little one. His realm…it’s just as sorrowful.” she shakes her head before gazing at one of the stained glass windows. “Roman told me he was going up to the tower. Hopefully he’s still there and he’ll talk to you.”

Remus nods, blinking away his tears before they could fall.

“I’ll take care of him, mama.” he promises.

Mal smiles softly.

“I know you will, my dear. And please, make sure you take care of yourself too. You look tired.”

Remus sighs but manages a small smile.

“I will.” he nods. “You should go before the people come back to capture you, mama.”

Mal kisses Remus’ forehead before the mother figure turns and makes her leave. Remus watches her go before turning towards the throne, making his way over to it. It’s golden shine had dulled out and the soft, velvet fabric looks as if it had been picked at. Remus stares at it for a moment, wondering what Roman really felt like even as he sat upon his throne. Roman always boasted about being the best prince and it seemed no one knew or even cared to see how much work that took. It’s strange to see it completely empty. When Roman visits his realm, he always stops by the throne room whenever he can. When the prince wasn’t in, the nobles and castle staff would be roaming about as the guards stood by.

Rubbing at his face, Remus leaves the throne room and climbs the stairs. He still doesn’t like the heavy silence following him down the corridor and up the next flight of stairs. Several more staircases later and Remus soon arrives at the door to the tower. Roman often hides away here to be alone or to talk to Remus. The tower had been given a spell to ensure that only Mal and the twins could enter whenever they liked. Remus feels lucky that he’s able to enter and lets himself in.

“Ro? Mama told me you were here. She said you were hiding up again.” Remus calls.

“Out here, Ree.” Roman calls back a moment later from the balcony.

Remus breathes out a sigh of relief and heads over to where his twin is. He goes through the curtains and finds Roman leaning over the parapet of the tower. Roman looks exhausted, the bags under his eyes almost as dark as Virgil’s eyeshadow. Remus comes over, copying his twin and staring at him for a moment before deciding to talk.

“Um…hi, Ro…what are you doing up here?” Remus starts.

Roman doesn’t move, gazing at the hills far in the distance.

“If you think I’m going to jump. I’m not. I’m just…thinking. I guess.”

“Oh.” Remus blinks. “I wasn’t going to say anything about that. At least not now. I just wanted to talk.”

Roman manages an empty chuckle.

“Heh, funny. You usually prefer to swing first, talk later. Did you accidentally swing at yourself, Dukey?”

Remus shakes his head and sighs.

“No. I just really miss my brother. As annoying as he is, I like having him around as the dumb, sparkly, prince he is.”

“I…I don’t know. I don’t feel sparkly. Probably just dumb.”

Remus blinks then stands up straight and turns Roman to face him.

“Okay, Ro-Bro, look. You’re clearly not okay right now. Talk to me. Tell me what’s got your brain being a bitch. That’s what I’m here for, okay?”

Roman stares at Remus, a tear falling down his cheek.

“Ree…”

“Talk to me, RoRo. It’s okay.”

Another tear rolls down Roman’s cheek and-

“It hurts, Ree…”

Remus brings Roman to the stone bench behind him and sits them both down.

“What hurts, Ro?”

“Everything. No matter what I do, I can’t please them. I can’t make Patton happy. I can’t satisfy Logan’s demands. What good am I? What kind of Creativity am I?”

Remus feels his heart throb in pain. Roman is hurting so, so much. It makes Remus wonder what those light-side idiots are doing to him. Sure, Remus has seen Roman hanging around them and being friendly with them but…in return they hurt Roman. Do they even realize what they’re doing to Roman? Probably not. It pisses Remus off, but he swallows his anger for another day. Instead, the Duke turns to Roman and wipes his tears.

“You know what? Fuck them. Fuck those light side bitches.”

Roman gasps.

“Ree!”

Remus grins.

“Who cares what they say about you or what they think? You are Prince Roman, and you don’t need their goddamn approval.” he ruffles Roman’s hair.

“B-But I- “

“But nothing! Well, except for my butt. Anyways, fuck them. If they don’t want to give a shit about you. You don’t have to give a shit about them.”

Roman manages a small smile.

“I guess…that’s true, Ree.” he then sighs, and that small smile disappears. “I’m just scared. What if they don’t want me anymore? What if they get rid of me or hate me?”

“Woah, there, Ro. Let’s get you off that spiral coaster, yeah? Even if that does happen, you’ve always got me. I’m not leaving you. No matter how big of a bitch you can get.”

Roman finally giggles a bit.

“Hey! You’re annoying too, dummy!”

“Yeah, but you’ll be stuck with me at least.” Remus grins.

Remus feels the weight on his chest start to lighten. Good.

“I think I’ll be okay with that. Promise you’ll be there to catch me?” Roman asks.

Remus hums then grins, forming a crown symbol above his head using his hands.

“I, Duke Remus, royal promise.”

“Remus…” Roman’s eyes widen then he lunges forward and hugs him. “Thank you…”

Remus smiles and hugs back.

“Of course, dumbass.”

The twins stay like that for a while before…

“So…would you mind if I just…talked to the others?”

“Ree, no!”

“Eh, worth a shot.”

Despite being all grown up now, Remus’ nightmares have not changed. It seems more like they’ve grown darker and more vivid. Sometimes it was hard to tell what wasn’t real and what was actually happening. It was easy to lose himself in the darkest visions of his sleeping mind. It was harder to find the way out with no Roman to save him. Sure, Janus was there, doing his best to keep him afloat but he could only keep the nightmares at bay for a little while. They’d come back every other night, darker than ever. It’s a miracle that Remus gets any sleep, really. Sometimes, the duke is often found sleeping in odd places, napping excessively in the afternoon when he isn’t causing chaos.

Today isn’t any different. Remus had wanted to do some art to quiet his mind of the annoying loud voices he keeps hearing. He had just finished his third piece as he started growing sleepy. He then soon fell asleep at his table before he could sign his artwork, paintbrush rolling out of his hand as he snoozed away.

When Remus blinks his eyes open, he finds himself standing in the Imagination. Yet, it’s not his own realm that he’s in. He looks around and finds that he’s in a village. A torn emblem of a red shield flutters beside an abandoned tavern. This is…Roman’s village? Remus shivers and looks towards the castle. A shadowy black haze surrounds it, looking more menacing than the blood red sky above it. Yet, that’s not the terrifying part. No, the true horror is that this is what became of Roman’s realm.

But…why?

Remus shudders and carries on, searching for his twin. Maybe he just wanted to try something different? Yeah, that’s gotta be it. He walks through the silent village and up the path to the town square where the nobles’ house are. No one’s here either. Remus glances at an open window. He only sees an empty table. Where had everyone gone? Roman loved his people too much so there’s no way he’d gotten rid of them.

Remus walks on and up the castle path and through rusted gates, passing wilted grass and dried fountains. The courtyard looked more like…a cemetery now. Funnily enough and ironically, Remus isn’t thrilled about this. Roman’s realm is supposed to be stupidly bright and annoyingly glittery like the prince himself. Remus just finds all of this to look completely wrong.

Soon Remus enters the castles, the grand doors opening with a heavy groan. The foyer is empty and dim with the only lighting coming from the glass windows and the little torches on the wall. Remus steps in, shivering again as he’s greeted by cold air. Usually, Roman’s castle is warm and welcoming. This is just haunting. Maybe it’s a bit cliché to Remus but he reminds himself that this Roman’s place and it shouldn’t be this dark and cold.

“R-Ro?” Remus calls out.

The only reply is the echo of his own voice.

Remus pushes on, still calling for Roman. His voice echoes back and he worries more. What if Roman was gone too? What if something happened to him? What if he-Remus stops that thought and carries on. Roman has to be okay. He’s dumb but he’s brave. Yeah, Roman’s a big, brave Prince. Remus tells himself he’s probably just hanging out somewhere or up in the tower again. Maybe he’s in the throne room, doing his royal duties. That has to be it.

So, the duke enters the throne room and looks towards the throne and-oh. There’s Roman sitting there and…not moving. Why isn’t he moving? Why isn’t he blinking? Remus slowly makes his way towards the throne, hoping his footsteps would alert his twin. Still…Roman doesn’t move. He remains frozen. His face does not change. His eyes do not twitch. Remus places a hand on his chest only to feel…nothing. No weight, no pain, no aches. There is nothing there.

“Roman? It’s me. It’s Ree.”

Roman says nothing.

Remus steps forward, moving closer and closer to the throne. Under the light from the stained glass windows, he could see that the throne had rusted and its velvet fabric was now torn. Odd. He remembers the throne being shinier and cleaner than this. Had it been so long since the last time he visited Roman? Had he forgotten to see him? Remus knows he hadn’t. He visits Roman as much as he can, constantly bothering him even as he tries to get his work done. When did this happen then? Remus swallows and finds himself right at Roman’s throne.

“Hey, RoRo? Can you hear me? I’m right here. It’s Ree!” Remus calls.

Still no answer…

Then the window on the left swings open with a gust of wind and the curtains fly off. Remus watches them flutter down to the floor in a heap and a little more light floods the room. It trails across the floor and lands perfectly on Roman’s face. Roman’s face had turned to stone. Horrified, Remus runs up to his brother and looks at his brother closer in the light. It wasn’t just his face. His whole body had turned to stone, face frozen with a broken expression. Remus had been too late.

“R-RoRo?”

Remus pats his face.

Nothing happens.

“RoRo, this isn’t a funny prank! Wake up, dumbass! Wake up!” Remus cries.

Still, nothing happens.

Remus shakes his head, smacking Roman over and over as he could chip away the stone to find him underneath.

“Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Roman, please!”

Sure, Remus had imagined scenarios of hurting his brother, but he never wanted him gone.

“Come on, little brother! You can stop now! It’s not funny! Wake up!”

Remus slams his fists against the stone, not caring about the pain that follows after.

“Please, wake up!”

Tears fall from Remus’ face and land on Roman’s head as he screams-

“ROMAN!”

Remus shoots up from where he’s sitting, his stool falling over as he stumbles backwards. Wide, red eyes dart around in search of his twin. He’s not here though and Remus wanders out of his art room, muttering his brother’s name. He has to be here somewhere. He has to be okay. Remus looks around some more, checking around the living room. No prince there. Remus makes his way towards the door to the corridor that leads to the light sides.

“Remus? Is that you? I heard you screaming. Is everything alright?”

Janus comes down from the other corridor that goes to the bedrooms, worry on his face when Remus doesn’t respond.

“Remus?”

Remus opens the door.

“Need to find him. Find Roman.”

Janus sighs. This wasn’t the first time this happened. He’s usually able to snap him out of it but Remus seems really lost this time.

“Remus, I’m sure Roman is okay. We saw him this morning.”

Remus shakes his head.

“Need to find Roman.”

Janus sighs once more, going over to Remus as he wonders what nightmare he had this time.

“Alright, we’ll go find Roman.”

With that, Janus and Remus leave the Dark Side and make their way through the cold corridor that separates the two sides. Janus hates this place and how freezing it is, how it came to divide them. He wraps his cloak around himself and follows Remus through to the light side, feeling a bit relieved when they’re greeted by the warmth of the Light Side. Janus refuses to admit that he prefers it over the Dark Side’s coldness. The snake side then turns to Remus.

“Okay, Remus, shall we check your brother’s room?”

Remus walks on.

“Find Roman. Find him.” he repeats in a mutter.

Poor thing.

Remus ambles up the stairs, Janus making sure he doesn’t trip. The others are out so Janus isn’t too worried about running into them. They make their way past the room doors and find Roman’s, its star nameplate shining under the light. A big cursive ‘R’ is in the center of it. Of course. Without hesitation, Janus knocks for Remus and a moment later the door opens to reveal Roman with his hair a mess and a pencil tucked behind his ear.

“What is-Janus? What are you doing here?” Roman asks.

Janus steps aside and Remus blinks before he goes up to his twin, snapping out of his trance.

“R-Roman? Is this…are you real?” Remus whispers.

Roman, realizing his twin had another nightmare, nods and takes his twin’s hand. He places it on his chest so Remus can feel his heartbeat.

“I’m real, Ree. I’m okay. I’m right here.”

As soon as he feels the thumping of his brother’s heart, Remus tackles Roman into a tight hug.

“I thought…I thought you were gone!” Remus wails.

Roman squeezes his brother, squishing him in the hug as much as he can. It’s how his twin likes it.

“Shh, I’m here, Ree. Whatever you saw, it wasn’t real and I’m not going anywhere, okay?”

“B-But in my dream your kingdom was all dark and when I went to see you, you were turned to stone…You didn’t move or talk, and I thought...” Remus sniffs and cries again.

Roman pats his brother’s back, heart aching at the sight of his twin breaking down. He’s usually the more carefree one between them, not caring about anything. Seeing him now like this is just sad.

“Hey, your dream is just a dream, remember? What’s real is you and me and Janus and the whole Mindscape. I’m not going anywhere, and I mostly certainly am not turning to stone.” he soothes his twin.

Remus’ cries quiet down to sniffles.

“R-Royal promise? You won’t leave or do something that stupid? You’ll be here forever and ever?”

“Royal promise, brother.” Roman smiles softly, forming the crown above his head.

Remus hugs Roman again at that, rubbing his tears away.

“Thanks, Ro. You better not tell Virgil I was crying like a little bitch.” he sniffs one last time, letting go of his twin moments later.

Roman huffs a laugh.

“I won’t, Ree.”

As Remus lets himself be comforted by the assurance that Roman is right there, Janus smiles fondly off to the side and ignores the ache in his heart again.

For a long time now, Janus had watched the twins make Royal Promises to each other. These promises were very important to them both, so they were very careful as to when they made it. A Royal Promise carried a lot of weight and pain behind it after all. The pain came from the promise being broken. The twins never ever break a Royal Promise.

The only problem is that the twins don’t know why they started doing that. Roman just felt it was stronger than a regular promise, so he did it Remus, ever curious and always following his twin, copied Roman. It became their little ritual and it was very rare that they let any of the others try to do what they do. Besides, Roman made up a rule that you have to be royal to make one.

Sighing, Janus glances at the twins. They were currently play-wrestling in the field just down the hill from where the snake side was lounging under the King’s Tree. He smiles fondly as he hears them laugh and tumble around the tall grass. Despite the rough times, Janus is glad their bond has remained strong. No matter how many times the others had tried, they refused to let anyone separate them. Sometimes, he wonders if they’ll ever…Janus puts a stop to that thought. Even if the twins could, Janus wouldn’t force them to re-fuse. They seem happier this way.

“Having fun, boys?” Janus calls, chuckling as he sees them pop up together with grass in their hair and stains on their outfits.

“Yeah! We’re wrestling for who gets the leftover spaghetti in the fridge!” Remus answers back, jumping onto Roman’s back.

“You had it last week though!” Roman giggles.

“Yeah, but I want some and Virgey can make you more!”

The twins go back to wrestling for a second as Janus huffs a laugh.

“Okay, you two. Come sit down and take a break first. You’ve been wrestling all afternoon.” he calls, the leaves rustling above as if to call the twins over as well.

The twins giggle and race each other over, plopping under the cool shade of the branches. A nice breeze blows and starts to cool them down. It seems as if the Imagination always knew what they needed.

“I totally won the wrestling match.” Remus grins.

“Excuse me, I pinned you down more than you got me!” Roman puffs in pride.

“Nuh uh!”

Janus laughs again.

“How about you both win the wrestling match and I’ll convince Patton to let me make spaghetti for dinner tonight?” he offers, not wanting them to actually start a fight.

The twins gasp and nod eagerly.

“Yes!”

Janus smiles softly.

“Excellent.”

Silence falls in as the three relax under the afternoon shade. It’s nice and peaceful and Janus would do anything to stay here forever. No problems. No pain. Just him and the happy twins he promised he’d protect. His promise…Janus remembers when he made the very first Royal Promise…to his King. He wonders if the King knows how hard he’d been fighting to keep that promise. How he failed and went through hell and back to make up for it. For the King. For the twins. For-

“Janus?”

Janus blinks out of his thoughts and looks over to see Roman sitting up, frowning at him in concern and Remus copying his twin.

“Are you okay, Janus?” Roman asks.

“You were really spacing out, snakey.” Remus adds.

Janus sighs and nods.

“I’m alright. I’m just…” he glances up at the tree. “I’m just thinking about an old friend…and promises.”

Roman tilts his head in confusion.

“Promises? Like Royal promises?”

Janus chuckles softly.

“Yes. How did you know?”

“I saw you looking upset while I was hugging Remus and making my Royal promise to him.” Roman replies, smiling bashfully. “Did…Did we do something wrong?”

Janus’ heart aches and he shakes his head.

“No, not at all. It just reminds me of my old friend. The King.” he answers, smiling softly as the tree rustles again.

“The King?” Remus chimes in, sitting up as well.

Janus nods, smile now fond.

“Yes…” he answers, gazing at the twins. Sometimes he sees his old friend in them. “I made the first Royal Promise to him.”

The twins’ eyes widen. All those years of not knowing where the Royal Promise came from…and Janus made the first one to the King. Curiosity grows and the twins move closer to Janus, wanting to know more of the King they once were.

“What was the promise?” Roman asks.

“It was a promise I didn’t think I’d ever have to make. Today, however, I don’t regret making it.” Janus answers. “It was just before the split…”

This is it. King Romulus knew what was going to happen next. He didn’t think it would ever happen to him. He didn’t think Morality would actually go through with it. Yet, Thomas is changing and growing. His view on this world and what he feels is changing as well. Morality is afraid and Thomas seems to believe he knows best, so Romulus had no power here. What could he say to Thomas who seemed so afraid of who he was going to become?

Romulus quickly makes his way down the palace corridor. He had called for his closest and most trusted friend to spend one last day with him. He wanted Janus to have one last good memory before they had to say goodbye. Smiling to himself, Romulus makes his way to the throne room and steps in. He finds Janus waiting by his throne.

“Janus, I’m glad you made it.”

Janus looks up from where he’s staring at the throne.

“Romulus. You called me, old friend?” the young side asks, coming over to him. “Has it happened? Are you…?”

Romulus chuckles and shakes his head.

“Not yet. We still have some time before I have to see Morality tomorrow.”

“I wish we had more time. I wish this didn’t have to happen.” Janus huffs. “I don’t want you to go.”

Romulus smiles sadly.

“Neither of us can do anything to stop Morality. We’ve tried. Thomas won’t listen to us. All we can do is accept and adapt to change.”

Janus huffs again, rolling his eyes.

“You’re much nicer than I am.”

Romulus chuckles, patting Janus’ head. Janus was always shorter than his friend. Oddly, he’ll miss the head pats.

“If I could keep myself glued together, I would. I would tape and super glue and suture me to myself if I could.”

“I wish you could. So, what did you want to do with your short time left?” Janus asks, heart aching at that question.

Romulus smiles, offering his hand.

“I want to spend time with you, old friend. One last time.”

Janus sighs then smiles, taking Romulus’ hand.

“Alright, my King.”

King Romulus laughs and tugs Janus along at that. He brings Janus to his garden first. It was one of their favorite spots in the castle to run away to when life was stressful or when Morality’s pressure was too much, and Logic was being harsh. Romulus knows that they mean well but wish they were just a bit more understanding. He knew they had problems of their own and seemed to prefer to repress them rather than bring it to the meeting table.

The garden ended up being Janus and Romulus’ private getaway from it all. It was peaceful and there were always birds singing up in the trees. The air smelled like roses and fresh strawberries. Romulus loved strawberries. There was also a hint of nightshade. Romulus did love to experiment with strange things from time to time. In the center is an open dome that doubled as an observatory and the sun streamed down perfectly on the viewing deck.

Janus and Romulus end up spending all morning picnicking on the deck and chatting. They talked about Romulus’ recent experiments, trying not to think about how that would be his last. They have tea and cake and candy snacks, Romulus telling stories about his last adventure and Thomas’ recent dream. It felt like a regular morning, but Janus couldn’t help but feel heavy as the seconds ticked away. He knew what was coming soon and couldn’t stop thinking about it. Romulus knew it too but chose to ignore it. He focused on making his last day with Janus the best day he could give him.

After a morning of garden strolling, chatting, and tea, Romulus took Janus out of the castle. Janus watched as Romulus strolled through his little kingdom, waving hello to his servants and maids. To his guards. To the nobles and the village people. Janus desperately wanted to tell them what was going to happen to their king, but they wouldn’t understand. It makes Janus wonder if the people were going to one day wonder where their king had gone. Or would the kingdom and its people just…

“Janus, come on!”

Janus hurries along.

“Coming, Romulus!”

Janus follows Romulus through the village, watching him interact with the tavern owner. The owner nods and walks into his little tavern. Moments later, the man steps back out and hands Romulus a basket as he bows. Romulus thanks the tavern with a handful of gold before waving Janus over to follow. Janus follows along, wondering what’s in the basket. It smells wonderful and it takes Janus’ mind off of the heavy weight for a moment.

Soon, they exit the village and take a long, winding road through the tall grass field. Janus remembers watching Romulus hunting for bugs and rabbits and frogs when they were much younger. He follows Romulus and wishes the sun wouldn’t go any lower. Not yet. They climb a big hill, and a golden apple tree waits at the top. Janus had helped Romulus grow it a long time ago, calling it their special hiding place that they could go to when they couldn’t hide in the garden. Romulus said he’d bring everyone here one day but…Janus knew it would never happen. Janus didn’t want to bring anyone else here. Not when they would be taking his friend away.

“Janus, are you going to just stand there or are you going to come join me?”

Janus blinks out of his thoughts and sees Romulus sitting on the wooden throne that he made for himself years ago. In front of him is a matching table with the basket on top and a matching chair. Smiling shyly, Janus sits on the other chair and watches as Romulus leans forward to open the basket. The Creative side takes out two wrapped meals and a small jug of grape juice. He then sets the table, putting out the meals and pouring the juice. Once it’s ready, Romulus nods at Janus.

“Go on, Janus. I asked for your favorite.” The king says.

They unwrap their food and Janus is surprised yet touched to see that Romulus brought him some deviled eggs. Silence falls in as they both eat their meals, the sun setting ever so slowly. It makes Janus wish he could freeze time just a little longer. Sometimes he wished he could even turn back time or convince Thomas that everything was alright and that there was nothing wrong with who he was. Yet, Janus knows it’ll never happen. It’s too late now.

Soon, the sun is even lower, and the sky is a mix of reds and oranges and pinks. Romulus and Janus have finished their meals. The table was cleaned up and vanished along with the chair. The wooden throne remained but the two chose to sit on the grass as they watched the sunset. Neither said anything but knew that as soon as the sun was gone, their time together would be ending soon. It brings back that heavy weight from earlier inside Janus’ heart and he glances at the King.

“I wish time wouldn’t move so fast.” Janus sighs.

Romulus chuckles, watching the sun dip lower.

“You’d think as someone in charge of this entire realm, I’d be able to do that. Believe me, I wish I could, Janus.” he answers, waving his hand.

Nothing happens much to both of their disappointment, and they sit in silence again before-

“Janus…may I ask you for one last favor?” Romulus asks a moment later, sitting up on his knees.

Janus turns, mirroring Romulus.

“What is it, my King?”

Romulus removes his crown, placing it in Janus’ hands.

“When I am split, and I am replaced…will you take care of whoever takes my place?” he asks.

Janus’ eyes widen as he gazes at the crown in his shaking hands then at Romulus who’s calmly smiling at him.

“W-What? You want me to…are you sure? Why?” he stammers.

“Because I trust you. Thomas may no longer see you as Self Preservation as much as he used to, but I still do. I need you to promise me you will guide them and protect them.”

“I don’t know if I can…”

Romulus smiles softly.

“You can. Why don’t we make it a Royal Promise?” he suggests.

“R-Royal Promise? What is that?” Janus asks.

Romulus takes the crown and holds it above the yellow side’s head.

“A strong promise that is guaranteed to be never broken. If it is, the one who made it will be in pain until they fix it. I know it sounds like it’s meant for royals so today, you’re an honorary royal, Janus.” he explains.

Janus sniffs, a tear rolling down over his scales.

“Y-You really trust me?”

“Of course I do, my dear friend.” Romulus nods.

Janus looks at his King, knowing he would never see him here again and nods. Whoever becomes the new Creativity, Janus will make sure they won’t be lost to Morality again. So, Janus holds the crown over his head and smiles tearfully at Romulus as the sun vanishes below the horizon.

“I, Janus Sanders, Royal Promise, my King.”

“And when you both manifested, I did my best to keep that promise. Sure, I had my failures, but I intended to keep it for as long as I can, wanting to make sure I didn’t lose you both either.” Janus finishes.

The twins are quiet before Remus tackles Janus into a hug. Roman follows a moment later. They’re both glad Janus took them in. Sure, Morality was…kind and doing his best to look after them but Janus just understood them better. Now, they knew why.

“Thank you, Janus. For that.” Remus whispers.

Roman sniffles and nods.

“Yes, thank you. For keeping us safe. For telling us this.”

The twins then pull away, Remus rubbing his face to get rid of the tears.

“Would it be okay if we kept making Royal Promises? We’ll only use it for important things.” Roman asks.

Janus nods, wiping Roman’s tears away.

“Of course, Roman. It was always yours and Remus’ to make whenever you need it.”

Before Roman can thank Janus, the tree rustles and an apple falls from the branches into Janus’ hands.

Janus chuckles, smiling up at the tree as the twins gaze in surprise.

“Thank you, old friend. I assure you, I’m still keeping my Royal Promise.”

This time, as the sun sets, Janus sits with twins and smiles. As long as he was here, they wouldn’t be going anywhere. They would never be separate, and they would be safe under his guidance. Promise or not, Janus intends to make sure Creativity would stay strong. Even as two halves. It’s his royal promise to the King and the twins after all.

THE END

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