#pawns in greater plans. lots to think about.

[makowo]

all im saying is that hope is something that is born from suffering and is made to be torn apart and consumed

[sleeplesssmoll]

Finding the moment Schneider and Vertin's dynamic shifted.

This scene inspired me because we see Schneider's anger emerge, albeit subtly.

It almost seemed like Schneider was planning on letting Vertin live once again, like in the beginning when they first met. She was going to give Vertin a chop on the neck during their duel to knock her out.

But then Vertin repeats the lie that Forget-Me-Not Me Not told her. After hearing Vertin promise her a shelter, she turns her gun on her instead. Why would she trust the words of someone from the Foundation who rejected her and her family?

Hearing this proposal must have hit a nerve. It's important to note that at this point in time she only likes Vertin's looks and she respects her fighting skill. She has absolutely no reason to trust Vertin's words and every reason to resent the Foundation's dog. It's easy to forget since she's such a flirt in the main story but there is a lot of anger in her. She is a Mafia Boss. She provides for her 11 sisters and her parents in a world that constantly takes from her without giving a shred of mercy. If you’re curious about this, the link below has Schneider's snippets from the atlas, but for my purposes I'll only use a small section.

The Opportunist and the Sticky Gum

“Her figure might be frail, but her eyes are filled with cold anger. Maybe she had been rejected just now or even insulted. She walked up to the square center with a firm step, like a warrior.”

This is Schneider as she watched Sonetto take the mission capsule she tampered with back to Vertin. In the Walden, we see this warrior fighting for her family and Vertin is now an obstacle.

Also, she seemed genuinely annoyed at the lack of concern Vertin had for the wounds she inflicted. Her voice starts off in that same playful, flirty tone when she says “that's really annoying” and then she sounds genuinely pissed when she talks about shooting Vertin in the thigh (I'd place a clip here but there's a limit. Would recommend going back and listening to get the full picture). She is getting frustrated.

However, things change when Vertin and the others help her sister. I think the true turning point in their relationship is when Vertin pushed Sonetto out of the hole to escape Druvis and Schneider did the same for Marian.

Earlier when Schneider was talking to Forget-Me-Not, she mentioned the importance of family and brotherhood. We also know she loves her family dearly which is why she's in this mess.

Schneider and Vertin sacrifice themselves for the people they love. She's finally met someone who gives a damn about loyalty and they are on the same side as her.

While they're fighting together, Schneider is heavily injured and Vertin covers for her. If Vertin, the one with the gunshot wounds, is in better shape than Schneider then it's a very rough situation. Nonetheless, she respects Vertin's fruitless attempts of resistance and considers her brave. She tells Vertin to shoot her in the chest when the time comes. Here, she is putting her faith in Vertin because she has no other choice. This is her only chance.

Later on in Popular Literature Vertin brings Schneider a healing potion and food she stole because she assumes Schneider must be hungry. You know what she brought?

Cake!

If we ignore the horrors of hindsight where Schneider is a human so the cake must not have looked like cake due to Storm Syndrome, it's a very sweet gesture. The healing potion tastes awful, so maybe she chose the cake over other foods as a way to make it easier to deal with. This is the climax where Vertin follows through on her promise and proves she is someone Schneider can trust. The cake also shows Vertin's empathy, something we see Schneider doesn't receive often. She's trying to make her as comfortable as possible instead of treating her as a pawn in her greater plan. They're working as a team, not as lord and subject.

[helly-watermelonsmellinfellon]

What Dumbeldore fans don't seem to grasp is that doing his morally questionable and often evil ass actions isn't what truly annoys everyone. It's the need to control people, keep all pertinent information to himself alone which puts everyone else at risk, and then act like he's some kind of saint who has the best interests of the world in mind.

The times Dumbledore admits his imperfections is only when someone tells him they think he's got some omnipotent power at that moment in time. He has to be like, 'well, this is only my personal guess,' and even then, people treat it like canon confirmation. Other than that, he's a hypocrite who did a lot of very bad things that cannot be morally justified even for the sake of the Greater Good. So much suffering could have been avoided had he just been up front about his intentions and plans with the people who he was literally using as pawns in those plans.

We can handle morally grey characters, otherwise Snape wouldn't have so many fans. What we don't like is Dumbledore's personality and how his fans will do everything they can brush aside the severity of his actions and inaction.

[galedekarios]

Something something "Gale is a character who believes the world would be better with him dead and the player can show him that's not true" as a persistent theme of his character arc. *glares at Larian*

Honestly it feels like the Leads fell for the surface level part of Gale's arc. Like, all of them have that shallow impression that the characters themselves are trying to make you believe: Astarion wants you to think he's cruel and suave, Shadowheart is fine with the facade that she's a pawn of her lady of darkness, Lae'zel is brash and rude and initially intolerant of istik society, Wyll plays off the confident persona who has no regrets, Karlach is happy about everything all the time. And Gale's facade is that he's full of himself while simultaneously not being worth the effort.

The game ENCOURAGES you to break that illusion. Astarion's not a seductive wretch, he's scared and securing himself. Shaowheart's whole arc is about retaking her independence. Lae'zel comes to understand the beauty of the world outside what her queen wants. Wyll believes himself to be a perfect sacrifice for others' safety. Karlach is angry, REALLY angry, and terrified. And Gale is desperate to prove himself worthy of everyone's expectations of him, and to hide the mortal side of him he'd been told wasn't worth indulging in.

I feel like that's where the problem is. Gale's writer worked those flaws into Gale's character, with enough moments to show a player who's invested at all in him what the REAL reason is behind his actions, but the other writers didn't bother to invest anything into cracking that open. They took the persona he's trying to push at face value (that and probably not wanting to get on the bad side of the fans who think Gale's annoying due to *checks notes* Larian-side bugs).

Gale killing himself isn't the "right" ending where he "gives back to the world" - but that's what Gale THINKS the "right" ending is, before you prove him otherwise. The dryad test outright says that's what his greatest fear is.

Of COURSE Gale's going to think sacrificing himself for the greater good is the best option if you don't tell him you're willing to fight for him. It's literally the one insecurity that's been consuming his whole being since he got the Orb. Man's been planning his death for over a year. Thanks for not reading past the first page, lead writers.

Sorry for the rant, had to get this off my chest and you've had the most presence in the "why would you tell Gale to kill himself" discussion.

again, don't feel sorry for venting in my inbox! 🖤 i agree with a lot of what you said.

i've seen a lot of speculation as to why the devs said what they said. there is a deluge of posts trying to explain for a variety of reasons and coming up with their own scenarios: gale is supposedly comedic relief (hard disagree btw), they were maybe talking about ea gale, they were just talking about powerful messages, whathaveyou, and i have to say that at the end of the day it doesn't really matter why.

because even if that all was true, it means either one or a combination of the following things:

either they didn't care enough to delve deeper than the extreme surface level & current iteration of their own writing & character

or they parrot the worst reddit & twitter & tunglr talking points to be like how do you do fellow kids with their assumed fanbase

or they have some sort of internal bias

nevermind that the message they sent (intentionally or not) to people identifying with the character for his struggles still very much remains.

[bonebabbles]

re: the tags on the post you just reblogged; would genuinely Love to hear your take on the themes of homestuck. because so many of its themes are at odds with each other and the reader that it truly does become an ouroboros by the end. and that’s fascinating and heartbreaking at the same time

I really can't phrase it better than "eats itself alive by the end," honestly. Once the Beta Kids scratch their session, you can feel how tired and frustrated the author is. It's like he starts hating his own work and how massively it blew up, when he never planned for it to be a project that lasted so long.

And thus it feels like he starts turning on his work's own themes.

Sburb (the game) was abusive and traumatic, but seemed to be trying to make the kids ""grow"" by some unknown philosophy. Figuring out what Sburb (or its creators) were trying to accomplish was a theme.

Only for the author to get frustrated at the idea of there BEING such a motive, seeming to suddenly pivot to Sburb just being a universe-generating mechanism

The theme about motives, being "pawns" in a greater game and uncovering the mystery, thinking critically about authority figures including the GAME ITSELF is unceremoniously discarded for a "Nothing matters actually" conclusion

Another theme was change and growing up, dealing with your mistakes as you make them. How even in a world with time travel, trying to use metaphysical shennanigans to avoid your fuckups just backfires. Eventually you have to face the music, and you'll be better off for it.

But then the author becomes brutishly cynical. The main casts' worst traits eat them alive on the trip to the new session, we learn the Beta trolls ruined their own playthrough and now painfully slog through their afterlives, the Alpha kids are aimless and trapped in a doomed session.

The theme about growth and facing your own mistakes becomes about stagnation and inevitability.

But honestly I think the most telling change in the author's mindset comes from looking at the Alpha Trolls vs the Beta Trolls.

Like, the way that the Alpha Trolls ALL got a full personality, several interactions with the main cast, and through fan input started evolving into characters that had little traits of the fandom at the time

Homestuck was always a story with a crass tone (and it's kind of incredible how quickly the lingo changed, making early HS look a lot edgier in hindsight than it was at the time) but it felt like there was a lot of love for how these characters had kinda been forged together.

Then you get to the Beta Trolls in a dream bubble, basically all tossed into a high-production walkaround minigame. Several of them just direct, joyless jabs at the audience, less of them relevant.

For me it's really the turning point on the themes, the later acts have always felt super dissonant from the early acts because of that

So in my mind I see it as two big "parts" and examine them together as what I feel was a weak synthesis.

[comradeboyhalo]

i really like seeing how other viewers interpret qbbh but also sometimes i think they believe that bad has a personal vendetta against a particular islander, when in reality everyone is a pawn in his weird chess game he's playing against the island itself. obviously, personal relations do play a part in it, but there's a reason he hasn't actually done something against them yet.

take forever, for example. bad's been hurt by him (and hurts forever back) but his true conflict with forever comes with the position of president. ofc personal feelings play a role in it, but if bad ever kills forever, it would in defiance of the federation. its a means to an end.

bad just did not drug pac intentionally, so anyone who believes bad's going to kidnap pac, well um. sorry but pac just doesnt have anything for bad to kidnap him over. again, kidnapping pac isnt going to benefit his plans.

with tubbo, bad has a lot of personal beef with him. he wants him in jail! he thinks it will be funny! but he's clearly told tina that imprisoning tubbo unfairly would only ignite vengeance. it's actually beneficial for bad to have tubbo distracted by his projects, because it stops himself from being investigated about ron.

bad's sabotaging his relationships. he's fucking himself over, and everyone gets dragged down in the process. but he's not doing this for petty reasons. this is all part of a greater plan (and we can talk about how unhealthy this plan is lmao) and it's not centered on any individual character.

[raayllum]

Was thinking about this parallel and “Claudia and Rayla refusing to let Callum and Viren die in S4″ and general S4 parallel shenanigans, turning them over in my brain like a rotisserie chicken, and realized it goes much deeper (and the four of them unfortunately don’t have a group foils tag, as why it ends why it always ends currently excludes Callum) and this isn’t going to be super coherent because I’m sleepy and am going to do my best to keep this short but

What the Fuck I Think Is Up with Callum-Rayla Viren-Claudia in S4, or the Interlocking of the Cycle’s Wheel

Let’s get the obvious stuff out of the way

Viren-Callum parallels, yeah, we’ve known that since 1x01 or at the very least 1x02, we’re gouda

Raydia parallels with their dads who ask them to do shady stuff and then can’t stop them from continuing to do shady stuff, we knew that

Viren and Claudia / Callum and Rayla being reunited after two years apart by Claudia and Rayla’s efforts

Callum and Claudia being contrasted by doing major feats of magic in order to save Viren and Rayla in 3x09

Rayla and Claudia being contrasted in 3x09 by being Viren’s killer and saviour respectively 

Rayla and Claudia paralleling the way they continue to push at their current missions in Through the Moon and 4x02 even when Callum / Viren are doubtful or wanting to take a different path, both going on a quest into Xadia to ensure Viren’s death / survival in doing so

Viren and Rayla ultimately being unable to diverge in 4x09 with Rayla running after him with only one sword and Viren picking up his staff after a season of likewise rejecting / being hesitant about it

Viren-Rayla parallels with their paranoia and practicality and ruining their own lives, more subtle but still absolutely there

Claudia and Rayla rejecting Viren / Callum’s plans for their deaths in 4x02 and 4x07

The Viren-Claudia-Rayla parallels just to cover all our bases

With all of that out of the way let’s get into it

So like I said, both Viren and Callum talk to Claudia and Rayla about wanting to die this season for ‘the greater good’ of their lives, and both times, each respective girl wholeheartedly rejects it quite harshly after a moment of softening

Okay, seems simple enough. But here’s where things get a little more complicated. Claudia, after all, doesn’t know how dangerous Aaravos is, but Rayla does, and yet they make similar calls here. Claudia refuses to let her dad die, even if she has to drag him along the whole time, and Rayla refuses to let Callum die, let alone by her own hand. They’re weighing their loved one against something possibly dangerous or unknown, something that has certainly been detrimental to both of them and leading to serious trauma of things they deem overall better left unsaid

and still choosing the loved one.

Okay, still pretty simple. Shit isn’t interlocking or overlapping too much. But then 4x04 comes along with the way it parallels Claudia and Callum explicitly as Aaravos’ most overt pawns in a lot of ways

and scenes of Viren and Callum waking up to find Terry and Rayla sobbing in the middle of the night (4x04 and 3x04) and offering words in response: “Rayla, it’s okay [to cry]” and “Get a grip,” reinforcing the way Viren and Callum have been shutting down this mix of love and pain, trying not to feel things at all. We know from later on in the season that part of this advice stems from worry over Claudia for Viren

and what Callum was doing until he arguably broke down fully in 4x09 and let himself fully feel a lot of what he’s been repressing all season long by embracing Rayla

But it goes deeper than that, with 4x07 and Viren’s nightmares also confirming that Viren still feels guilt over what Claudia has gone through thanks to his death and involvement with Aaravos, even after 4x02

Likewise, 4x07 also foreshadows / shows that one of the people Callum is most worried about hurting is Rayla because this shot is about as overt as it can be

Like Viren, Callum is worried about being a pawn in Aaravos’ game and how he may hurt the people around him, while Viren worries he already has; Callum is aware he may be becoming like Claudia, pushed further down a dark path he’s previously rejected, and caught up just as unknowingly as her in Aaravos’ web in so many ways

Callum and Claudia have already done whatever it takes to save their loved ones (dark magic for Rayla and Soren; their juxtaposed saving of their loved one who fell off the Storm Spire as cited earlier in 3x09); Viren, Claudia, and Rayla have all done deplorable things in hopes of protecting / saving their loved ones, as Viren also cites in 4x04:

But there is an aching pain mixed with love that you feel in these moments. I have always been ready to do anything to protect my family, however dangerous, however vile. In the name of love, you may commit acts so unforgivable... you will never forgive yourself. 

Mirroring what Rayla says in her letter and what Claudia said earlier (“I had to do things...”) and indeed a line from Bloodmoon Huntress about Rayla’s best friend at the time, a tiny adoraburr

but it’s something more important than that. I’M GOING TO KEEP YOU SAFE. I have to. I love you too much not to. [...] sometimes, we make sacrifices so that the ones we love don’t have to. It’s part of protecting them—part of protecting you. Taking on hard choices and going to dark places is an act of love. It’s a gift. So, please let me give you this gift, Callum. Stay safe, and stay in the light. Don’t follow me, and don’t look for me. I don’t think you’ll find me, anyway.

The river’s fast, but you’re basically my best friend. I wouldn’t let anything happen to you. No matter what it took.

Viren has typically been confident he’s making the right choice; Rayla worries over making the wrong one; Callum is anxious about having no choice; and Claudia is triggered by having to choose at all. 

All of this to say: they all have the same core, explicit, and opposing desires to save the people they love. Rayla still wants to kill Viren and protect Callum, and keep him from becoming a pawn in Aaravos’ game; Viren fears that Claudia will be turned into a pawn and wants to keep her safe from the danger he’s put her in; Callum is worried that he may put Rayla in danger due to Aaravos’ hold on him; and it seems like little to nothing will ever deter Claudia from saving her father, permanently. They are all more terrified of losing/hurting the other more than anything. 

Viren has an incentive to not want Aaravos loose to try to protect his daughter; Claudia has an incentive to free Aaravos in order to save her father. Rayla will already likely save Callum from Aaravos’ brainwashing, either too late (leading to Callum playing his part) or just in time, since as she stated, she’ll do whatever it takes to save him. However, that doesn’t answer entirely how Aaravos gets out or how Callum could play into his hands even without the brainwashing, unless it’s for someone he loves, like Rayla. After all: 

All of this to say S4 absolutely Fucks and I love it so much and I cannot wait for the next season to see how this collision course of love and messiness is going to turn out, and for the one who turns the Wheel of the Cycle to finally get to spin it himself. 

[icharchivist]

some detailed thoughts about the Relink's ending (a whole post will be dedicated to coming back to the whole game)

where did i stop. ah yeah. Rolan our Princess in distress. Ouh boy.

-first of all, big hype for the game to have this many fake endings. always keeping in on my toes like "what do you mean it's not over"

-The last official island was so fucking scary. The ambiance was really top notch but at what cost. Truly "there's no reason for the skies to be blue" call back.

-Having to fight dark versions of all the big boss primals we fought so far was really cool, it's fun also to see how much more used we are to them now.

Io is so funny.

-ID IS MY BEST FRIEND I WANT TO KISS HIS FACE IM SO AAAAAAAAH. When he came to join us i was crying i'm so happy.

-The reveal about what he is was great though. I did wonder about it before but i thought connecting him directly to Bahamut would have been maybe a little too big. But in the end, that was what the game was going for anyway lmao. But that does explain why Id found a bit of his humanity back by being around Lyria. She probably pulled him out of the mind-restrainer that way.

(speaking of which i mentioned as soon as Lyria appeared with that collar that Id had the same around his neck but no one was bringing it up in game so i thought i was insane about it. So glad i was right. So not glad of how it was confirmed.)

-This is SOOO RAGAZZO CORE THOUGH.

Like honestly Lilith was a great mix of multiple Granblue antagonists: she has a bit of all the astrals in her like i mentioned earlier, the fact her final boss battle was her fusing with a primal in desperation is really like Freesia, stuff like that....... but her relationship with Id in particular was REALLY a lot like Ferdinand and Ragazzo it was chilling to see.

she "adopted him" and immediately put a mind control collar on his neck, in order to lock a god inside of him because the god thwarted her plans, but she taught Id how to use this power, and have him be her son. so when he betrayed her, she played the whole ":) mom is so sad for your betrayal" which is exactly how Ferdinand played off Ragazzo's betrayal.

So like "grooming children into becoming her pawns and not telling them that in her greater plan there is only pain" is sooo Ferdinand coded--

but it's Id's way of, after realizing the abuse and horrors, still loving his mother so much, but in a way where he understands she needs to be taken down, so it's his responsibility as a son at least to take her down for all the horrors..... this is soooo Ragazzo coded.

also the way Id turns into a dragon form reminds me of Ragazzo's harmonized form which adds to the whole thing. + Lilith actually harming him in order to turn him into a weapon she intends to use, only for him to throw her off the island. again, very Ferdinand&Ragazzo coded.

the way they all immediately adopted him is making me cry though, always

Id we have a few people in our crew that started off by kidnapping Lyria and now are our besties. you'll fit right in.

-the two others generals also coming to help us with the bosses + against Lilith waas SO FUCKING COOOOL . I think they're so neat. I love Granblue's insistance on redeeming about everyone.

-amazing line from Vyrn.

-Literally would kill for Id.

-always loving a good power of friendship.

-The boss fight against Lilith was really cool. had a lot of brainworms about astrals' mentality and the way they basically are so self reliant they just see how they get to use others for their own gain, not how they can be helped

-which now makes me think is probably why Rolan felt so ashamed that he did start out "using us" against Lilith instead of just relying on us, knowing that this would be the same result anyway. Like i think it's fine and all but it explains the guilt he felt so much.

-Anyway final fight with Lilith, and she breaks the mindcontrol collar from Id, and if it's manually broken it drives people insane, which, linked to his bond with Bahamut, just unleashes a rampaging Bahamut on the skies. huh oh.

but ofc determined to save Id and all, we go on:

-This made me chuckle and cry at once. Eugen knows so well the suffering he brought his daughter by being such a shitty father and he knows she doesn't want him to fix it and everything, that now he sees any kid with a failure of a parent and he's like "it's okay i can be your parent now too.". What a guy.

-btw next ticket went to Ferry

-cried during this part so took screenshot. Pure quintessential granblue experience.

then we have to fight a rampaging Id and just.

-Id is a good boy and i love him so much

-^this was so funny to me. so real.

-ANYWAY NOOOOO ROLAN

-We really need to do something about Danchou's habit of just, jumping into danger without a back up plan.

-Id and Danchou jumped in an alternative dimension trying to repeal the Bahamut inside of Id, and Rolan came to save us out of it...... but was locked behind in the dimension.

-which is horrible.

-he made sure we knew he's alive though so there's still hope we'll get him back

-here's how Lucifer coming back can still win--

so we're adding Rolan to the list of our alternate besties we need to get back. LUCIO COME BACK HERE AND OPEN THOSE FUCKING DOORS.

-Id, of course, has survivor guilt and feels terrible about it. and since he was our enemy he doesn't get why we're so chill with him.

and this was adorable:

-crying in the club:

-The ending song was fucking heartbreaking i was just crying through it.

-Anyway post game campaign is basically, we're going back to Folca and people are lost now that Rolan is gone, and Id feels so guilty he wants to take over what Rolan used to do, so we decide to help him out, and tadaa. The more we play the game and sidequests to help Id build his reputation as Mister Fix It the more we'll get some plots about Id reclaiming his own life now and everything.

-All in all the game was just perfect and i cried a lot

-the battles were all so, so damn amazing and it was a blast to play through every time

-what a game.

[solariaswitch]

Can you imagine Icy having a redemption arc (in an au/canon divergence maybe)? If yes, then what would it be like?

I've thought a lot about this lately because of a little writing project I've been doing and to tell you the truth, I don't think there isn't a simple answer here.

If we're looking at an AU or a canon divergence, then of course, anything can happen and the only limits are what the author wants to do. But if we're looking at Icy's character, I think it's doubtful whether there could be a full redemption. To begin with, I don't think Icy could or would want to turn truly 'good'. At best, I can see her turn into a more morally grey character, sometimes aiding the winx and sometimes aiding the villain, but all according to her personal motivations and not according to some motive of the greater good.

Icy's really complicated, which I've discovered as I've been trying to write her point of view. It's implied that she's been indoctrinated from a very young age to do the bidding of the ancestral witches and serve the 'forces of darkness' as she calls them. This has shaped her whole personality, more or less. She loves power, she doesn't mind hurting people, in fact she seems to find it rather amusing. Completely reversing behaviour that is so deep rooted is more or less impossible. It can be improved upon, for sure, but reversed? Unlikely.

The most likely scenario for redemption I can see is her fighting for her autonomy back. A lot of the time, Icy is merely a pawn to someone else's plans. Icy's motivations are largely tied to her personal desires and ambitions. So in case of redemption, I think this would involve her interests clashing with the greater villains she's aligned herself with. These clashes may lead her to reconsider her loyalty to the forces of darkness, as she realizes that her own interests aren't being fully served by her association with them.

Another potential path for redemption could be emotional connections with the good guys. Icy can clearly form strong friendships and experience love, she loves her sisters, she has several crushes and flirts with various characters throughout the series. Perhaps a friendship or a bond that transcends the black-and-white notions of good and evil could humanize her and expose her to alternative perspectives.

[glapplebloom]

((A Mod Monday featuring Fluttershy...))

Fluttershy, Discord needs help to recover his amgic. I know you agree Discord being powerless and small is bad for him and would teach him a lesson, but a chaos magic-using Rainbow Dash is only a pawn for Him to use as long as she has Discord's magic. ~  Anonymous

Fluttershy: If you believe Rainbow Dash can be possessed even when wielding these powers, what’s stopping HIM from doing that to Discord? Or me? Or any creature?

Do you actually think Fluttershy would think that "the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few" when she's the Element of KINDNESS? She cares about everyone. Meaning, she's not like you Rainbow Dash. ~  Anonymous

Fluttershy: You don’t know Rainbow Dash and you don’t know me. Back with the Breezies, I ignored Seabreeze’s pleas to take care of the others. I was thinking of the greater good over one. Then when Seabreeze made me realize that they needed to get back, I had to be firm with them because it would be more cruel to hurt so many innocent creatures because you were too focused on the few. And the Breezies were better off for it.

Not kind enough? She showed kindness even to Discord when she was tasked with reforming him. ~  Anonymous

Fluttershy: You were missing her point. 

Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash has changed ever since she received Discord's magic.  ~  Anonymous

Fluttershy: No. She’s still the same Rainbow Dash I knew: reckless, thinks highly of herself, but will do anything to help her friends even if its wrong. 

Fluttershy, HIM is planning to use Rainbow Dash, and she thinks she can take him on, even with Discord's chaos magic. And Discord can't protect himself without his magic. You need to convince Rainbow Dash to give him all of his magic back before something terrible happens to the both of them. ~  Anonymous

Fluttershy: And how do you know this? You are making a lot of assumptions when anything that could happen to Rainbow Dash could happen to any of us. And Discord has been pretty safe since no creature seems to even notice him.

Fluttershy, are you ever going to forgive Discord or Rainbow Dash?

Fluttershy: Rainbow Dash probably have suffered enough. Discord, I think he needs to learn his lesson.

[ajdrawshq]

ztd crossover with kh but it's just Carlos meeting Terra, Diana meeting Aqua and Sean meeting Ven. Cursed or blessed concept. Go

HM. WELL. i immediately leaned toward cursed bc like (gestures vaguely at ztd) but that feels mean so im gonna try putting some thought into this

Carlos and Terra :] very good pair for the most part i think. just 2 big older bros doing what they do to try to help people.. but it all goes to shit kupo. i can see them getting along pretty well, both due to their personal experiences and bc of who they are in general. also now that i think abt it its kinda funny that both of them happen to be plagued by visions but only Carlos' have an actual explanation?? Terra morphogenetic field moment?? even funnier is that both of them have the same "welp. anyway" reaction to it like yeah this just happens sometimes 👍 kind of unfortunate Terra couldnt use his to prevent bad things from happening too but oh well. its not like hopping timelines is that easy in his universe anyway. Terra still gets bonus points on an individual level bc while there was very little he couldve done differently there Are things Carlos couldve just uh. not done. yknow. things that i think Terra would kick his ass over tbh

Diana and Aqua.... oof. on god we're gonna get u girls some therapy. they were both so severely fucked over by like. literally everything from ingame events to the narrative itself. trapped in two different but absolute hellholes of sitautions for Very Long Amounts of Time and only called upon as a pawn in a game that both defines and ruins their lives and their entire world, and they barely even know it. and the only people they get to talk to at some point in their respective hells are Sigma and Micheal Mouse (and Terra sort of).. yea i think id lose it too tbh. its interesting that Diana was a 100% crucial part of why ztd happened while Aqua's role in Xehanorts plan wasnt really until ddd/kh3 unless u count him planning the whole end of bbs.. before that she was more of an outside force? not that taking her out wouldnt change anything ofc but her direct actions were more harmful to the overall plan than going according to it. i might need to play bbs again to confirm that more but uhh i forgot where i was going with this. i could see them getting along but i dont really remember enough about Diana as a person to know just how well they would? i guess itd at least be nice to have someone else who knows what their oddly specific and horrific situations are like, more or less

finally Sean n Ven.. Man. talk abt kids who cant catch a break for their entire lives no matter how outragously short OR long. they both just have a Lot going on and play some of the most major roles in their respective stories and god knows they didnt ask for any of it!! tho weirdly enough i dont feel much for Sean considering how he fits into the kinda characters i usually get attached to. but maybe thats just bc it was ztd. anyway !! out of the 3 duos here i think these two are most likely to become actual friends. from the memory fuckery to having a greater role in everything than they couldve imagined (both of them essentially being a key at some point..) to even just. having a very limited world in some way. and not having full control over their bodies. and several other major things im probably forgetting they both have. lots and lots and lots of things. they are friends to me

and just some general other thoughts - while im. not entirely sure how to feel abt what ztd does with the morphogenetic field i can at least appreciate the weird memory stuff that comes with body hopping and the possibilities that has when tied to all the other weird memory stuff that already happens in kh for similar or different reasons. like the way ztd (and vlr to some extent) went about it didnt quite hit the way i wanted it to but the concept is cool to me? itd be fun to play around with it in the context of kh i think. or vice versa. altho maybe introducing multiple timelines to the kh universe isnt the best idea.. hm. much to think about

but yeah!!!! overall verdict: mostly blessed with some underlying hints of cursed. like a weird aftertaste

[skipperdee]

Laura is the one.

aka my interpretation of Twin Peaks that I want my husband to read with the visuals but its not the same in word or on messenger. HMPH.

Sooo According to Mark Frost…Sarah Palmer = the girl in “Got a light” (the one at the end who has the frog crawl in her mouth) and I accept that. To me it’s part of a greater metaphor of the show, about how life or the society we have created, eventually dims or turns off that bright light inside of all of us. We are all born pure and filled with light.

I read this interpretation today where someone said they felt that season 3 retconned the ending of FWWM out of existence and that they didn’t want Laura’s death to “have a "purpose* or larger role. Thematically speaking, Laura was just one of many women this could and does happen to - that's why the original run went out of its way to put other women in a similar situation to her. Making her some being of pure light and goodness as a reaction to Judy and human evil and making all that rape and murder part of The Cosmic Plan is, imo, a misstep so egregious and offensive that the only words I have for it are in Anglo-Saxon.”

Obviously this random person on reddit is entitled to their opinion but...it really surprised me that they saw it that way because I didn’t get that at all. Laura isn’t some pure being full of goodness...we saw her flaws plenty of times. They were highlighted quite well and very purposefully. I don’t think the rape and murder was part of the cosmic plan…or was it? I think that’s a question many of us ask ourselves all the time. Is there some grand creator and if so, why does he or she allow us to suffer? Is it all part of some larger “plan”? Are we just pawns in a greater game?

They explain in the show a few times how time isn’t really linear and how the past dictates the future. I think it’s a loop. Maybe Laura was created in that golden orb and sent into the world because that’s what they’ve always done. It’s like a bootstraps paradox. I think we see that same image of Laura…the prom photo in the orb for a reason.

The same reason why this one image is so prevalent in the show and in all the promotional material. She is often portrayed by those who knew her as this wholesome, selfless and pure angel when she’s only human. How could she be expected to destroy Bob when he ends up possessing her damn father?? No one gives her any clear information on what she’s supposed to do. It’s all so cryptic like dead Annie showing up in her bed and saying “the good Cooper is in the lodge” Laura doesn’t know who the hell Cooper is! What is a teenage girl who has just (or is just about to) find out that her father has been raping her for years, who has a cocaine addiction and works as a sex worker to support that habit…supposed to do with that information? She likely just thought she was losing her mind. I think there are also some metaphors tied to the amount of pressure and responsibility that is put on victims of not only sexual assault but all of the awful things that can happen to us in life. Like even just how people put the onus on homeless people to just “get a job” when life is a lot more complex than that. It’s like so many people are afraid to admit that we have very little control over our lives and that when there is a huge influx of homeless people, that means we should change society…not tell people how they should just “be better”. Some people seem to think we are all robots who should constantly do the right thing when we are all so damn lost in this world, I think many people just refuse to believe it. That’s why I love so much of the absurdism in Lynch’s work because to me…that is life. A collection of bizarre, confusing, profound, beautiful and terrifying occurrences. 

The way I see it is that…we are all basically just children when you really take a step back and see how broken and confused so many of us are. And who wouldn’t be? We all live on a giant rock floating in space and we don’t even fully understand how or why gravity works. Some dead dudes made up a bunch of societal rules and laws and we all just convince ourselves that it all makes sense, even when it sometimes doesn’t. We all want there to be a grand plan…but realistically there just isn’t one. “Laura is the one” to me means the one that sets it all in motion but the “beginning” and what or where that actually starts is hazy so we don’t even know if that’s true. The only time Laura achieved a sense of peace was in death and then Dale just rips her out of that. Why? To save the world? Why can’t he do it or find a way to make a tulpa of Laura or use the dude with the strong hand!? Why is it all up to this broken, confused and traumatized girl who doesn’t even understand her place in all of this? I think that’s very intentional and why the show ends in such an abrupt and alarming way. Laura is not the savior of humanity. None of us are. I think we get so many “random/mundane” scenes of people just talking in this show or the scene when the boy is run over and then the old dude from FWWM just sits with the woman because it highlights the humanity within all of us.

Sorry, back to Laura. I think both of her parents (like many of our own parents, and ourselves) were “corrupted” in their youth. Their lights were dimmed more and more over time. Be it from abuse or something else. Leland was probably sexually abused too (I always took Bob possessing him as a child as a metaphor for this) and her mother was possessed by whatever crawled down her throat (Judy, perhaps). Her mom has visions and other bizarre things seem to happen to her.. To me the reveal of that dark entity in Sarah is just revealing how corrupted she has become or that she just stopped fighting it.

She lived in a town where they did nuclear testing. To me the nuclear explosion was the creation of Bob (that’s a lot of negative energy) and the “woodsmen” are representations of the people left behind/the ones who suffered the most from the fallout. I have no idea if those people (the ones in real life who were exposed to high levels of radiation) ever received any healthcare or compensation for the testing of a tool whose sole purpose is to kill as many people as possible and left so many people with permanent ailments, children born with birth defects, etc. Even just living with that knowledge and how many people suffered and continue to suffer such senseless violence is enough to make someone “unstable” like Sarah. Let alone the fact that her child is raped and later murdered by her own husband. The woodsman reads this “poem” (or whatever you want to call it) on the air after murdering the people at the radio station: “This is the water, and this is the well. Drink full, and descend. The horse is the white of the eyes, and dark within” I don’t completely understand the horse part (unless it’s a reference to the pale horse and…I’m not getting into that but the Bible verse about it is pretty relevant imo) but the part about the water and the well to me is a reference to all of the awful things (like nuclear testing) that so many people just seem to accept or later accepted over time. I don’t want to get too deep into politics but…the amount of people who have been slaughtered or “disappeared” in order to create the society we live in…a lot of people drank from that well and descended into a place where they either directly reaped the benefits of all of that murder and exploitation and/or they descended so far down it’s almost impossible for them to find their way out (whether they want to or not). I’m from the US so just domestically I think of the nuclear testings, the Tuskegee syphilis experiments, MK Ultra, how many majority black towns were intentionally flooded and new towns were built on top, the Tulsa riots, how every damn treaty between indigenous people and white settlers/colonizers were broken…to so many other awful things we have done to each other, or, more importantly, that people in positions of power have done for power and greed while we all suffered from the “fallout” be it figuratively or literally. Instead of embracing one another and trying to heal, we just keep drinking and then we descend even further into the abyss. Into this dark place where we can’t even see in front of us. We’re just stumbling around like the woodsmen, doing the bidding of evil and corrupt people who want us to remain in this place of suffering and complacency. People like to act as if none of these things that happened so long ago still effect our present but they do and you can try to bury them, but they will always resurface. Because “the past dictates the future”. Maybe that’s why his chanting or what have you…put the people listening to it to sleep, including Sarah Palmer, and she becomes possessed by the frog creature. Maybe it was something related to the woodsmen? Another entity that was also full of anger and rage and wanted to corrupt something/someone pure or to make her feel it’s pain (Judy). Maybe multiple people in the vicinity who heard there broadcast were possessed or consumed those creatures and it led to them becoming bitter and awful people or they became so overcome with the guilt and pain that they numbed themselves with drugs, alcohol, nicotine….etc. I think a lot of this is metaphorical and obviously open to interpretation. That’s why I love this show so much…because it can mean just about whatever you want it to mean and we all interpret things relative to our own reality. I will say that the biggest thing I took away from the show, the movie and the third season combined was this quote Bobby says to Jacoby or somebody like that...in the 1st season:                                                                                                                               “She said that people tried to be good. But they were really sick and rotten on the inside, her most of all. And every time she tried to make the world a better place, something terrible came up inside her and pulled her back down into hell, and took her deeper and deeper into the blackest nightmare. Each time it got harder to go back up to the light.”      

People try to be good but we are constantly mistreated, abused, exploited, and put into a corner or pitted against one another when we should be working together and helping each other. Life/the way society operates turns a lot of us into awful people or versions of ourselves that we detest. I think the movie is the most straight forward in this regard…and the ending is a beautiful tragedy. This girl is in so much pain and is terrified of turning into a monster like her father that she sees death as the only way out. The phrase “fire walk with me” is about that temptation we all feel to allow ourselves to be consumed by the flames. To succumb to the ills of society and then project that pain and misery onto others. Laura fights this part of her so hard but feels hopeless. I think most of us feel hopeless because it’s so hard to do or be good in a society filled with so many bizarre and contradictory rules. Where appearances are more important than actually solving the problems we have within our families or within ourselves. Laura didn’t want to pretend anymore. “Your Laura disappeared”. She wanted to be free and I think she saw the Angel in the Black Lodge as a symbol of this freedom. She’s brought back in season 3 without anyone even asking her what she wants…and she’s brought to a much scarier world. The real one. 

Yes I think that’s where they ended up in the end. The woman who answers the door in the last scene of the show actually owns the Palmer house in real life. That had to be done on purpose. They moved dimensions and in this one…their lives aren’t real (although that doesn’t make them any less real to each other, maybe our version of reality is just an absurd tv show in another dimension). 

In short, I think the meaning of all of this is that humans want to do good, feel good and feel safe. We all want that and none of us are born “bad” or evil.

But all of the bullshit in our lives, the pressures of society and people’s refusal to talk about these very real and damaging issues kills the soul, literally and figuratively. No one helped Laura because they either didn’t know how or they couldn’t fully accept this “version” of her that wasn’t perfect, kind and pure. Instead they chose, even in death once they learned her secrets, to see her in that prom photo, to remember her that way, as this everlasting wholesome, kind angel when she was always just…Laura. A person like me and you with hopes and dreams. Maybe Sarah is trying to destroy the photo of Laura because she knows its a lie. Laura screaming at the end is the realization that this will never end. That she will always exist somewhere, somehow and that she has been destined to this role of a savior when she couldn’t save herself…let alone humanity or whatever they expected from her.

I love how meta the third season felt. To me the very last scene represents how Laura will never truly live or die. We keep bringing back Laura Palmer. By “we” I mean the fans, Lynch, Frost, etc. She will never rest. She will continue to be exploited and shaped in the eyes of the writers, producers, viewers, Laura’s friends, family and the fireman and that woman (don’t know her name) who continue to create her and send that golden orb out into the world. We will continue to do so in a way that is pleasing or satisfying to us. That knowledge is worthy of that last scream in my opinion. But this is also heavily based on my own feelings surrounding life and death. That I personally have wanted out of this “game” for as long as I remember…and part of me is terrified that there is no ending. We will never get to rest. Through the darkness of future past The magician longs to see. One chants out between two worlds Fire walk with me.         

[yeehawvamp]

I'm thinking about the harbingers again but there's something to be said about the distance that they are sat or stood at in correlation to [redacted]'s coffin. I don't wanna claim that it has something to do with how close they were with them except that's exactly what I wanna do.

Slight spoiler's under the cut I don't wanna spoil important story quest in case anyone isn't caught up

I wanna draw that conclusion since they make a point to all wear white coats and only two or so of them are dressed in black underneath them. Also the fact that Columbina is resting her head upon the coffin while she sings a version of Signora's theme. I don't have a lot to go on where Pierro is sitting, but I think it's clear from his words late on in the trailer that he only sees the rest of the harbingers as pawns in the greater scheme of things.

Arlecchino holds no punches in addressing that the two men (Pulcinella and Pantalone) closer to her but slightly further away from her in reference to the coffin only care about appearances in their grief than any sorrow for Signora dying so far away from their "homeland." That being said she's either third or fourth from the coffin and I don't believe she cared for Signora much less grieving her just that she detests both men who spoke before her.

Same goes for Sandrone who does not address either person who spoke before her, but has a level of contempt for the people around her. Finding their conversation at a funeral completely laughable. ("utterly risible" are her exact words)

Dottore makes a point of being second closest to the coffin while still distancing himself from the others unless openly addressed in conversation. I'm not certain the context of his relationship with Signora but I think he was at the very least the closest to her, minus Columbina who is singing in her grief but doesn't speak to anyone till the end of the trailer.

For as close as he is stood (I believe on the pretense of being "mayor" of Snezhaya), Pulcinella can only offer a half day to honor Signora's death which Pantalone takes issue with. Though I can't tell if it comes from a place of sincerity or if he just likes to argue with those above him. A lot of them seem to just like to argue for arguing's sake.

The one that we have the most concrete evidence on their disdain for Signora is of course Childe. He makes a point of sitting in the front pews of the church, the furthest from the coffin and a ways away from his colleagues. He detested Signora's methods and probably didn't like her very much after he found out he was apart of her scheme during the events of Liyue's main story quest.

Capitano is probably the easiest to read from the rest of the harbingers. His words are exactly as he means them: being said for her death but knowing that it will not be a hindrance to their plan. He is more concerned with how things were left in Inazuma and brings up Scaramouche during her funeral instead of focusing on grief.

TL,DR: I just wanted to analyze the positions of each harbinger in context of Signora's coffin. And a little bit about their relationship towards Signora herself. It's not so much they care for the other members but it becomes more about reassessing their situation and pressing onward. Also Arlecchino pretty.

[raayllum]

Does the chess pieces image debunk the cube hostage exchange theory? It kinda looks like Aaravos’ endgame isn’t Callum’s rune cube, but Callum himself.

So, the needling thing there is: "Callum himself" is very vague. Would Aaravos want to drain Callum of his magic, or cut the arcanum out? Would he want to control or brainwash Callum? For some reason throw away his plans that got a lot of people killed / put all of Callum's loved ones in danger to suddenly offer to teach Callum? Because I don't think Callum would willingly work with him outside of coercion and I don't think a meaningful relationship lines up, at this point, with what we know of Aaravos' goals.

Meanwhile, cube hostage theory presents a clear goal for Aaravos and a way of obtaining it.

But, for that matter: the cube hostage exchange theory doesn't have to be the cube. Yes, I think that's somewhat what makes the most sense - Aaraovs is locked away, the cube is called a Key - and there's particular narrative graces (the 1x04 parallelism done to its core).

The fundamental ideas of the theory remain the same though, no matter what's exchanged: Rayla thinks she's worthless, and Callum proves what he's willing to sacrifice to keep her safe. It could be the cube and the last gift from his father / general safety of the world by helping Aaravos out of his prison. It could be Callum himself, offering up a potential moon arcanum in lieu of Rayla's, or helping to free Aaravos in some other manner for her life.

So even if his goal was Callum (for some ulterior / greater purpose of manipulation and use), it would still come down to Callum sacrificing everything within his power for Rayla's life. That's what the cube hostage exchange theory is actually all about, from a thematic, emotional, and narrative standpoint.

As for Viren's gesture, we know from the S4 intro that Aaravos sees Viren as a pawn / a general chess piece. Aaravos could be reaching to pick Viren up again (or knock him over, given the hand position), but seems to be retracting his fingers as Viren gestures to Callum, like Callum will be the next piece / pawn moved. While my actual chess analysis for TDP does place Callum as king (precisely bc of the power and cube he holds), I don't think Aaravos would need to have such an important piece pointed out to him if Callum was his motivated endgame. More like "time to take the kid out [in a manner] so I can get the board into shape according to my wishes/whims."

The allegory is for what the current main cast / Breaking the Cycle side of things (save Viren and Claudia for now) would lose if certain pieces/people were lost, or general symbolic parallels. Not an indication of how important and/or powerful all of them are. After all, Viren isn't a king piece (literally anymore), yet Rayla (most aggressive player circa the queen) is going right after him -- that's not how you play chess.

If I was trying to argue for an actual endgame, I wouldn't use the chess system at all, because it would mean Aaravos would also have to be a piece -- but he's not, because he's the chessmaster moving the pieces and orchestrating conflict between them. He's the most powerful person existing outside the board, period.

At some point, the kids are going to have to flip the board / either drag Aaravos down to their playing field or ascend to his, but we’re nowhere near that yet.

[kyaah]

sorry i haven’t been active i actually have a queue of 70+ posts and just haven’t started it despite coming on a lot and briefly interacting with mutuals

i’ve been going through a lot a lot mentally and with my family, specifically my mom and i “butt heads” and that’s been getting to me immensely, the way she talks to me and treats me in general no matter how well i think we get along and have fun and converse while i live here at home

it always comes back to a battle, how i’m wrong and cursed and that i’m doomed with the curse because she and i are so alike in many ways, apparently

well a lot happened a few days ago and though i try to journal and try to not speak about it online, however vague like right now, though i try to be mentally sound, i lost and proved her right

it was like we mimicked a previous fight a couple years ago that we had and she hates that i ever hurt myself yet she dares me to do it, then she’ll humiliate me by asking me to undress in front of her and/or my dad, just to check if i’m alright

i passed her test three or four nights ago but right after, i decided to cut myself just 3 times on my thigh, even after writing it out and venting to my girlfriend and my girlfriend explaining why i shouldn’t do it, obviously because she cares for me but proving my mom right

i really am just doomed i guess… i’m already deluded enough into thinking my suicide attempts give me answers to a longer life and that i need to decipher clues in my daily life to find a greater purpose this a reason to go on living to begin with; i see things sometimes and i’m reminded of when i was on tumblr as a kinnie at 17-20 i really did believe i had dimensional powers and that there was so much truth in who i was, where i came from, why i was spurned then and i lost everything (in my fictional life)… it would just make sense that if i had dreams, they revealed the deeper conscious and that deeper conscious would be memories, whether here or another world, right? there’s a reason we’re all here and not there, wherever our there happens to be and wherever we see, i think i seem like a miss weston chandler when i talk about these kind of things haha

but anyways, my girlfriend even talked to me saying that destiny is an idea and nobody really needs to fulfill one, we live to grow and spread love where we can, which is true. i remember trying to explain our thinking and she brought up how i would possibly feel if she attempted and succeeded for the same reasons i am planning to in a few years, obviously i’d feel bad, beyond bad, but even though my circumstance is different and i need to be at the right place and time to kill myself even if i know i won’t die, that sort of thing happens for a reason, right? i’d be so much more than heartbroken if she decided and attempted and succeeded, but it would do something for me i think, and i just couldn’t bring that up because she doesn’t understand or believe in that word, i wouldn’t want to offend her by having her think she’s a piece of my strange puzzle. i didn’t want to and couldn’t possibly begin explaining how my old brother in law was murdered and how i accidentally delivered the news started me on a different line, and how his murderer killed himself so young (17) to get out of the consequences rather than find clues to his reason for being through facing that, at such an age it could have been a huge breakthrough and maybe he would change and gain a better life later on—he deserved to die, but i think failed suicide attempts are huge. but i don’t want anyone to think they’re pawns in a game, it can feel similar to a game, but everyone’s lives’ rules can be so different from person to person, that’s what our free will and right to live gives us

we’re getting ahead of ourself, i don’t expect the average user to believe or me read to this and get it understand it, i know that it’s a lot and looks like “psychobabble”… i just felt like typing all of that, i don’t want or need a response from anyone about any of that because i know they won’t get it anyway

what i’m trying to say is i’m guilty and cut myself, i relapsed after maybe 4 years and i am 25 turning 26 this year

i just don’t know what to do, i’ve hit a wall and genuinely i know the answer is to get out of this house where my mom plants things in me and replants it and it hurts, but i’ve hit a wall in learning how to drive which would lead to me making further discoveries in happiness and finding clues in the world outside of home/work and would literally save my life getting me out of here

i’m just worried about where i am at right now, there’s a popular youtube video about a fight that went on in my store and there were police called and i’m in the video near the end holding a little girl down, i received a compliment saying that i helped her a lot and saved her from getting beat like her mom by my coworker who now is facing jail haha… i think the brush off of being involved in a fight regardless of what i did and that video being online, it just scares me… what will that attract, you know? my big manager said he’s glad i was calm at least (though i was shaking a little when i went back to register and was asking other customers if they were alright) a different manager said he’d like me to branch out since a new CSS position is up now that my coworker (that was her position before she was provoked and fought) is not working here anymore

anyway i think it’s just been very busy in our life and i am trying to make sense of it and we feel so bad i cut our leg, no matter how easy it was and how it didn’t hurt really, it’s just healing up strangely? i’m so embarrassed though, i truly am. i don’t want to think about if my mom is going to follow through on checking on me periodically because she might call someone on me if she sees new cuts no matter how small, which, good for her i suppose, i can be out of her sanctuary :(

my girlfriend was right in me cutting myself would be proving my mom right, they were right and i was wrong, but more than that i feel embarrassed to see her this weekend because there’s no hiding my thigh from her and it’s just the timing, did i really have to cut myself after she told me i shouldn’t? it’s like i disrespected her and did it against her wishes sigh it takes everything in me not to call us a retard in front of my girlfriend not only because she doesn’t like the word but she certainly doesn’t agree with me putting myself down in any manner period

and also i lost my wallet at a club two nights ago drinking and dancing with randoms, everyone was very polite though it was a country style club and i’m thankful the staff had it and got ahold of me, now my sister has my wallet… although she cannot bring it back right away -_-

i’ve locked my cards and still have them locked even though i know it’s safe and sound in good hands, maybe this will teach me to curb my spending haha

rilakkumaUS has released the bright fluffy sherbet colors on their amazon and i really want them so much, girlfriend told me to only get one, but i can’t not get the whole set even if i “won’t want” them somewhere down the line and i would still have “only one to see if i would still care about having them all later” as if that isn’t fucked up to say, how can someone not get a full set of anything? that’s how you create loneliness regardless of the object is alive or not… i have one pair of the LINE friends skechers and have had them for many years but have never worn them because i don’t want to knowing that i don’t have the other pairs (is that weird? lol)

[stalemateserial]

48

How dare she be bored.

How dare she be bored.

"Ruth, you've been staring at the wall for two hours now."

"Yeah, well, you've been staring at me staring at the wall for two hours for two hours, and you've been keeping time."

"No, I've been showering. You know it takes a long time."

"Sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me today."

"We're both up and down, it seems like. Can't think of any extenuating circumstances that would make it so."

"Mm."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Ruth did not so much want to; she needed to talk, and with the pretense of permission, she was off and running. "Judy, how the hell can I be bored? I'm in a floating death tube above the Earth's atmosphere, playing chess off a piece of paper with my coworker. You move your pawn to A3, I move my pawn to A5, not much to think about there. I can't even sulk," and she whips a section of her hair fighting against the elastic band she's imprisoned it in, "because the gravity is off up here, and all I can think about is how much I'd like to just go see a movie or something."

"I'd like to, as well."

Maybe Ruth had been hoping for something more resembling a discussion. Or to be confronted, or comforted, or something other than Judy knowing just how she felt. She let out a sigh, the wind taken out of her sails. "It'd be nice."

"What would we see?"

"I dunno what's come out since I joined the Programme."

"Well, who do you like?"

"Carry Snodgrass was good in Diary of a Mad Housewife."

"I think it's Snodgress, and yeah, I like her too. I'll always have a soft spot for Audrey Hepburn, though."

"Have you seen any of Katherine Hepburn's movies?"

"Wasn't she in… Little Women? That was it, right?

"I'm pretty sure she was, yeah. The black and white movie? I think it played on CBS one night." Ruth's face lit up as she remembered something long forgotten. "That's right, she played Jo."

Judy was smiling as well. "It was on Southern for me."

"Well, I think I'd want to see a nice, calm movie. Something that didn't have a lot of drama."

"We'd see it together, wouldn't we?"

"I wouldn't dream of going without you."

"Well, what would it be about?"

"Hmm… I think it would be about a young woman." Ruth was letting her mind run away with her now. "She lives in a shared house with a few other bachelorettes, and they always go dancing at the club down the street. But the landlord keeps raising rent, trying to drive out the owners. The landlord doesn't like the way they use the club, says it's deviant. That girl and her friends don't like that one bit, so they come up with a plan to raise the money to buy the landlord out. They put on a big show in the park and get the patrons to invite everyone they can, rehearse all these musical numbers and build these big sets, and they end up getting this eccentric benefactor to donate the money. Then she starts coming to the club to sing with the band every so often."

"How wonderful for them."

"It won't get any awards for best screenplay or anything, but they get one for costume design and best actress in a supporting role."

Judy's actually laughing now. It's a welcome sound, but one that Ruth hasn't heard in quite a few days. It's an infectious thing that finds its way into Ruth's chest, and the simple humor of seeing someone's breath being taken away by laughter sends both of them into greater fits. And for just a moment, the station is not a prison.