#peace and love and positivity god bless all on earth i miss my no worries fella streamer please king we're dying out here

[hellcatchvalley]

me to me right now

[redrobin-detective]

because I could not stop for death

because I could not stop for death / he kindly stopped for me / the carriage held but just ourselves / and immortality ~ Emily Dickinson

Danny Fenton was dying, properly this time.

Somehow, in the back of his head and in his worst nightmares, he knew it would end this way: bleeding on the floor of his parents’ lab where it had all began. He was so hot he felt like his skin was on fire, blood and ectoplasm were dripping all over him and his lungs and heart were working overtime to try in vain to keep him alive a moment longer. He’d imagined at the time that there would be more screaming but death, in the end, was turning out to be a quiet little affair. A lonely table set for one.

“Danny, Danny come on, you-you gotta slow down your breathing, just relax, for me, please,” Sam moaned, more than making up for his lack of noise. She was shaking and touching him all over, his chest, his face, his hair. Normally she jumped right into action but she had to know, deep down, that there was nothing she could do. All that was left was to watch her panic and cry, it wasn’t his favorite image. 

“Vlad!” He heard Tucker scream cry into the phone, “please it’s Tucker, Danny’s dying I think. The Fentons had some new invention, something about his core, please we don’t know what to do!” 

Ugh Vlad, he was probably going to be so happy Danny was on his way out. He wasn’t looking much forward to his last images being his archenemy gloating. Tucker hung up and reached down to grasp Danny’s hand so hard it hurt. “Don’t worry dude, Vlad’s coming. He knows so much about you half ghosts that you’ll be fixed up on no time.” Right, Danny was already dead. If calling Vlad, feeling like he did something, helped Tucker move on then he’d deal with it.

Danny tilted his head to the side where Sam’s fingernails were carding through his hair. It was getting harder to see with the blood pouring out of his eyes but he looked at her, and tried to memorize her face. He’d never been able to tell her how much he loved her, that any day spent with her was a blessing. Tucker too, his best bro and a part of his soul. His best friends in the whole wide world, through thick and thin. God, he was going to miss them.

“Glurk,” he said, trying to convey those feeling but the fluids in his mouth and airway made it impossible. “Blerh.”

“Shh shh shh,” Sam soothed, “it’s okay, don’t try to talk.”

“Daniel!” He heard Vlad’s voice shriek as he materialized in front of the portal. Sam and Tucker were violently pushed out the way. Danny wanted to be angry at his loved ones being taken away in his final moments but anger was for the living, he barely had the energy to breathe. This death was too long and too short all at once. He made eye contact with Vlad who all at once lost the frantic edge to his tone and and instead knelt on the floor. “Oh my dear boy. What did they do to you?”

“What is going on?” Sam demanded, shoving her way back in. Danny was glad, he could see again like this. “Why aren’t you doing something!”

“There’s nothing to be done,” Vlad said in a flat, monotone, he picked up one of Danny’s hands and patted it gently. “His core is dying, it’s like a ghost’s heart. It contains their very essence, it is from which everything they are comes from. If Jack and Maddie somehow disrupted it then there’s nothing anyone can do to save him.”

“But he’s human too,” Tucker defended, grabbing Danny’s other hand. His human warm skin burned but the contact felt so good, he twitched his fingers closer to his friend’s. “He-he doesn’t need a core, he’s already got a heart. So, so he doesn’t have powers, we can do normal again.”

“You-” Vlad hissed before taking a calming breath. “The accident that made Daniel like this irreparably altered him. His core was as much a part of keeping him alive as his other organs, without it, his body is shutting down.” Vlad turned down to look Danny in the eye and saw true, genuine grief in those hateful red eyes. 

“I cannot imagine the agony you are going through, I’m so sorry. I’d say it will be over soon but,” a hitch that sounded almost like a sob if it was coming from anyone other than Vlad. “But you’ve hovered on the edge of death for years, son, and you’ve always been such a fighter. You have minutes at most but those minutes are an eternity when you’re suffering.”

Sam and Tucker’s sobbing blended together in the background, Vlad was saying something with a miserable, stunned expression. The swirling of the portal in the background seemed louder than anything, louder than his heart beat pounding and pounding as it ran it’s last race. 

“Daniel, Danny,” he focused his eyes back on Vlad who had a stubborn, unhappy set to his brow. “Do you want me to make the pain stop? An ectoblast to your chest will end your life instantly.”

“Don’t you dare touch him,” Sam shrieked, coming back into view and looking like she was trying to fight Vlad off. “You do anything to him and I’ll kill you!” Tucker just sat and stared at him, like he too was trying memorize Danny’s face.

“It’s a mercy, Samantha or do you want his last moments on earth to be drowning on the blood in his lungs.”

“Sam, he has a point. I don’t- I don’t think we can fix this.”

“No! No we always fix things, I’ll do it myself if I have to!”

Danny’s vision was starting to go, more black than anything else. He closed his eyes and readied himself for the inevitable. 

“Time Out,” Danny opened his eyes and found he was no longer in pain. He was standing up and apart from where he’d previously been lying. Sam had her hands in Vlad’s face and the older hybrid was snarling something at her. Tucker was midmotion trying to stand up, presumably to get Sam but the three of them were frozen in the moment. Danny turned and found Clockwork floating, looking very out of place in his parents lab. “Good evening, Danny.”

“You that short on cash that you work part time as a grim reaper?” Danny quipped out of habit. He looked down at his body and grimaced a bit, that wasn’t a pretty sight. No doubt traumatizing for Tucker and Sam. God how were they going to explain this to his parents? “Gonna ferry me across the River Styx? I don’t have two pennies but I think I have a bloodied $10 on me.”

“You’re core is dying and you have 17 seconds left in this world before all your organs give out and finish the process you began when you turned on your parent’s ghost portal,” Clockwork explained as he changed into child form. 

“O-okay,” Danny said shakily, trying to be brave even when he was so, so scared. He was going out whether he wanted it or not but he refused to leave crying. “Nice of you to come say goodbye then but, uh but unless you have something to say then you should let me go back. No one knows better than me that you can’t outrun death. Thanks but I’m uh I’m ready.”

Clockwork stared at him for a bit, not sure how long, time was weird like this but he changed forms a few times. “You’re quite the remarkable young man, Danny Fenton.”

“Uh thanks,” Danny added, once more looking at his body which had, according to Clockwork, a 17 second expiration date. “What’s going to happen? Am I going to become a ghost? Does heaven or hell exist for someone like me?”

“I don’t get to decide what happens, I merely see options,” Clockwork stated easily, taking his time. “If you die naturally you’ll become ghost, a mere shadow of who you are now and one who would fade fairly quickly. You don’t have strong enough anger or regrets to tie you in the real world for long.” Not great but okay he supposed, hell for his friends and family though. “You could let Plasmius deliver his mercy kill, destroying what’s left of your ghost core and ensuring you do not come back.” Better, probably won’t help the Fruitloop’s instability but he can’t save everyone.

“That one comes with it’s own caveat but I’ll get to that in a moment,” Clockwork explained. “There is a third option where you get up off the floor and walk away.” Danny blinked then looked back at his body which certainly wasn’t walking anywhere but into a plush casket. Clockwork opened his hands and the Ghost King’s Crown materialized in his hands. “If you accept your claim to the King’s Cown, it will revitalize your core and your life would be saved.”

Danny blinked.

“By sealing Pariah Dark, you won by proxy and established a legitimate claim to the throne. The Zone has been without a king for millennia, most have forgotten the old rules. Those who remembered were not too keen on a half-ghost child assuming leadership and kept you in the dark. If Plasmius ends your life then your claim transfers over to him, which he is aware of. It had been his plan all along to trick you into defeating Pariah so he could steal the Crown from you at a later date, a much easier opponent.”

Danny’s mind was overloaded with information, he didn’t know what to focus on first. He stared at his 17 seconds from death face and tried to process it all. Crown? Claim? Vlad?

“Of course,” Clockwork tutted, “he didn’t plan on your dying and in such a gruesome fashion. If he kills you and takes your claim, he would spend his remaining years ruling the Ghost Zone in a just, controlled fashion for your memory. He destroys all the stable portals and keeps the ghost and human worlds separate.” Clockwork became and old man and titled his head, “it’s not a bad timeline, all things considered.”

“And if I take it?” Danny asked quietly.

“You’re compassionate, brave and motivated, you have all the makings of a revolutionary king,” Clockwork smiled. “The Zone would experience and unprecedented era of peace, there would be positive interactions between human and ghosts for the first time since life and death split into two. Your name would spoken with reverence for the rest of time.”

“But I don’t want to be king,” Danny frowned.

“I know, I’m sorry,” Clockwork stated. “Which is why I am giving you the choice. If you pass peacefully there will be no one to claim the Crown and life will continue on, ghost attacks and all. If Plasmius kills you, he becomes an effective but unmemorable king. If you take the Crown, you can get the chance to tell Sam and Tucker how much you love them.”

Danny rubbed at his face, he didn’t want to die but he’d be sealing away his entire future with a move like this. He didn’t even know if the Crown would let him go with death, maybe he’d die and be stuck as the Ghost King until his core finally gave out lord in who knows how long. Eternity was an awful long time to carry such a responsibility. He couldn’t bring himself to ask, too afraid of the answer.

“Is there ever a timeline I became an astronaut?” He asked instead. Clockwork hummed, seemingly unsurprised by Danny’s non-sequitur. 

“Yes, in one of the few universes where you never walked into the portal. You never go into space what with human politics putting a halt on the programs but you work for NASA. You leave Amity Park at 17 and don’t come back save for your parents’ dual funeral.” He paused and Danny felt read down to his very bones, “from the moment you became half ghost you were always heading for this moment. The circumstances varied but it always came down to you and the Crown. Time is straining to continue, to see how this drama plays out. Will you accept it and all the joy and grief that comes with it?”

Danny looked over at Vlad, still mid-sneer but there was a scared desperation in his face. He and Vlad sniped at each other all the time but Danny didn’t really hate him and he didn’t think Vlad did either. Leaving him alone, plus making him be king was a heavy burden to put on his enemy. 

Sam and Tuck probably wouldn’t recover from this, he’d put them through so much already but he just knew that they’d never be the same. Could he do that to them? Take the easy way out and leave them to suffer? Mom and Dad didn’t deserve to come home to a dead son, the truth would come out and they’d never forgive themselves. Jazz certainly wouldn’t, she was 2 states over at University but he could already hear her angry, grief-stricken screams. 

Death, death was quiet. It was quiet and merciful and sad, but it was also easy. And Danny Fenton had never once taken the easy route. He reached out and took and the crown before shakily placing it on his head. He gasped, throwing his head back as his core swelled, taking up residence once more right next to his heart. Clockwork smiled, looking like the cat who ate the canary. 

“The Crown of Fire, pardon me the Crown changes with each core, the Crown of Ice is now yours as is the Zone. Your reign begins now but so too does the rest of your life. People are waiting for you. Time in.” Danny slammed back into awareness on the floor of his parents’ lab, the floor he’d almost died on twice. 

He sat up as cold radiated off his body, causing frost to crawl down his arms and along the floor. Sam, Tucker and Vlad, who’d been frozen up until now, jumped back to life. There was a new, familiar weight on his head that he didn’t dare acknowledge. 

He squeezed his eyes shut and said a silent goodbye to a quiet, normal life. It wouldn’t be all bad, he could be happy like this but the Crown still felt like a iron manacle around his neck. But he got used to the ghost powers, he could get used to this too. Maybe one day he won’t look at the stars and say ‘what if?’

“Danny!” Sam shouted, throwing herself into his arms soon followed by Tucker. Their warm weight, their relieved sobs, their shaky breaths in his air, now this was something worth living for. He squeezed them tightly.

“But how dude, you were at death’s door!” Tucker asked, still not letting go.

“You accepted the Crown,” Vlad said evenly, “I wasn’t aware you even knew about your claim. Who told you?”

“You don’t know everything, Vlad,” Danny sighed, sitting himself upright. Ugh his shirt was covered in blood and ectoplasm. He needed to trash these clothes before his parents freaked. And find a way to hide the floating ice crown on his head. 

“Even an old man can be surprised every now and again,” Vlad said wearily. He stood up to his full height before startling Danny by dipping down to one knee. “Then allow me to be the first to welcome my new king and wish him well.”

“I thought you wanted this,” Danny questioned.

“I do, I did,” Vlad said, unusually off balance. “To be quite honest, I’m not sure how to feel about it but, right now, I’m just immeasurably happy you’re alive, little badger. Now I best be off, enjoy your kingdom, my liege, I’ll be sure to come bother you some time soon.” Vlad disappeared in a swirl of pink leaving just him, Sam and Tucker still clinging to him.

Danny may have a kingdom, a job he didn’t want and his whole life decided in a spur of the moment choice, but he also had something very important. He squeezed his friends tightly.

“I love you guys, thank you for being my friends even though I have the worst ideas for activities. Dying? On a Sunday night? How lame is that?” Sam laughed, a bit hysterical but it was real and it made Danny feel weightless. 

“Don’t do that again, buddy,” Tucker breathed into his shoulder. “So you gonna explain what just happened and why you’re apparently the Ghost King or something?”

“Yeah, yeah I will but let’s get changed first. Mom and Dad will be home soon and I think I’m going to need to have a conversation with them about my new job.” 

[babytaes]

†hê Ðêmðñ (the beauty of sin)

𝖘𝖚𝖒𝖒𝖆𝖗𝖞: You're a guardian angel who's never been tasked with protecting anyone. Since you've been here since Creation, sitting around in heaven hasn't brought you any rewards. You were looking forward to the day when you'd be assigned a human to look after. When that day finally arrives, things take an unexpected turn when you are assigned to Heeseung, a demon from the underworld.

𝖕𝖆𝖎𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖌: heeseung x female reader

𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖗𝖊: angst, suggestive/smut

𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙: 4k

𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘: profanity, smut scenes, bad boy heeseung (lol), 

𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖙𝖗𝖆𝖎𝖙𝖘: click me before reading!

➳ part of the drunk & dazed series

☆ ҉ ◢▅◣

Sin is a spiritual virus that invades the whole being. It makes you morally and spiritually weak. It’s a deadly disease that infects every part of you: your body, your mind, your emotions, and your motives—absolutely everything. Nobody has the strength on their own to overcome its power.

Nobody should ever commit sin, never giving in to their worldly and sinful impulses. It's unjust and wrong. However, what is it about sin that makes it so fascinating and enjoyable?

It gave you joy to see it in his smile or the way his hands caressed your body. What a lovely thing sin is!

Even though some sins are innocent and enjoyable, sometimes regulations are supposed to be broken. Everyone, after all, is a sinner.

“WHAT!?,?” You began to sweat as you worriedly communicated your concerns to your overseer, “You must be mistaken, High Lord.”

“I understand the protocol; angels are supposed to serve as "guardian angels" to beautiful or broken souls on Earth. You know we're expected to look after them and keep an eye on them to make sure they stay on track. With all due respect, ma'am, I don't believe I'm qualified for this position; at the very least, someone of level 10 would be ideal.”

Her cream-colored wings swept her off her feet as she chuckled and waved for you to follow her. You sighed as you flutter up and away with her, trailing behind her, feeling a twitch in yours.

As you eventually caught up to her, dodging angels left and right, you apologized to random angels in your path, uncomfortably smiled at the people you bumped into with your wings.

You retracted your wings closer to you and walked uneasily beside your overseer as you carefully stepped down on the golden road.

Before you could say anything, she quietly took your hand in hers and gently kissed it, assuring you that everything would be alright. As you approached the center of the commotion, you bit your lower lip and remained silent.

Looking around at the community, it warmed your heart to see so many people, young and old, out here. Some you've known since the beginning of time, while others were born only last week. Everyone had gathered to witness the masterpiece that would emerge in an instant.

“You know Y/N I have complete faith in you that this first expedition will be a breeze,” you smiled, looking up at her with excitement and a tinge of fear in your eyes. “We wouldn't have suggested you for the job unless we knew who you really are, and you've earned it.” Don't worry, you were expecting this; now have a look.”

With her finger pointing to the stage forward, you were treated to yet another spectacular show. They're known as the "Grand Turning" in Heaven. This is where a new or seasoned angel has completed his or her training with a human or demon and earned their proper place in the community.

It could be a badge, a ribbon, or something more unique, such as the opportunity to talk with the all-powerful, our God.

Despite the fact that you were assigned to him, you were determined to get those jobs because they were the only way for you to ever get that honor. You weren't going to allow Mr. Unperfect take away that once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

Nobody could and will ever be able to make you fail this assignment; you were meticulously prepped. You were taught the correct and only way to do things, and now was your opportunity to shine. You were not going to be a Lucifer, cast from Heaven

“I'll do it,” you said to your supervisor, a smile on your face and confidence in your eyes. She turned to face you and hugged you passionately, rubbing your wings with a motherly devotion.

“I knew you could do it; now it's time to get you ready.”

---

When people have a near-death experience, they always remark that life flashes before their eyes. Unfortunately for angels, it's the contrary; when we're approached with a high-alert danger or warning, it's more of a gentle whisper in our ears. Normally more attentive while traveling to Earth.

The best place to be humans say.. What is with these fickle minded words?

You take a deep breath and turn to face your overseer, who is polishing her wings to ensure that they are kept in order. When having wings, a routine is taught from the beginning to keep them in a good up do. Nobody wants to look simple when you can look stunning.

She took your hand in hers and walked toward the end of the route, issuing some documents to the Pearl City Gate guards. You noticed the circular orb while glancing around.

"How can some humans believe in the world being flat, we literally have an air-like view. To me, it's definitely round.” She chuckled as she pinched your cheeks and turned your puzzled face to her.

“When you get down to earth, you'll see a lot of that, people with a lot of opinions. But what did you learn in your training?”

Standing up and smoothing your wings, you calmly shouted out the words as if they were written on the back of your palm.

“Although humans are the destroyers of their own precious planet, everyone's opinion matters, regardless of race, gender, or identity.”

“Well, not all,” you began scratching your head, “I've seen some harsh individuals in our study books, God should strike them down-“

“Um no ma'am, let us put it aside for the time being and focus on what needs to be done.” She started going over a list of laws and regulations for your descent to Earth. As you gave her a thumbs up, you were attentively listening and mentally bookmarking everything in their designated area.

I believe I have a good understanding of everything, and I think I am prepared.” She offered you a short hug before letting you go, showing her affection for you. You were going to miss her, despite the fact that it was a mutually-surface relationship.

“Last but not least, this ordeal will be different in that people will be able to see you. But if you have to use your wings, the lad is the only one who can see you. When you arrive, he will be waiting for you. My child, best of luck and may God bless you.”

You let go of her and moved toward the road's edge, gripping your bag as you turned to face her and waved farewell as you stepped over the brink.

“Wait a minute, what if-“

When you felt a push from behind, you tumbled off the ledge and spun around in the sky, where you saw a smiling face as you glanced up. They didn't tell you that you'd have to be pushed. As you plunged to Earth, you closed your eyes, terrified. Oh, how nice.

Screaming, you descended into the atmosphere, your narrowed eyes seeing glimpses of land here and there. Not letting up you let your wings cover your whole body as you plopped down onto soft green grass.

You peered out from your wings, gasping for air, and glanced up.

“Oh, Heavens”

His physique was slender, active, and well-groomed, with a trace of bad boy behavior in his scent. The first thing that struck your eye were the rips in his jeans. How could a man-made mistake seem to be so appealing? As you raised your eyes, you noticed tattoos splattered across his arms and up to his neck. His black velvet-like wings fluttering in the breeze, he raised his palm to his hair and stroked through the old curls, deconstructing the pattern they had once formed.

“Did you just pull a Lucifer or was this all planned?” he coughed as he put out his hand to you, taking a good look at you.

Stuttering in your words you quickly got up and patted yourself off and finally looked him in the eyes, noticing his dark eyes.

“Well, that wasn't supposed to happen, I hoped to fly down here and appear more Angel-like, but I think my overseer had other ideas.”

He said, "Ah," with a bored expression on his face.

“My name is Heeseung, and if you don't mind, I assume you don't.” I guess my name is well-known in Heaven. You're probably the fifth Angel who has appeared in the last year to “assist me.” What a load of bullshit; you can't hide what's already there, you know.”

He made a pouty look as he smirked closer to you before covering his hand with his mouth and saying, “oh forgive me, I suppose I have a potty mouth.”

Panicking at this new light, you smiled and coughed loudly and suddenly, “Before you say anything else, I'd want to inform you that I'm not like those angels we don't talk about. I have a holy standard that I adhere to.

He rushed to your face, rolling his eyes at your innocence, and murmured to you, "well see about that little Ms. Purity."

As you moved back and shook your head, spurring out prayers, you tugged the strings of your bag close to you, seeming irritated. Looking up, you noticed him hovering in mid-air with his arms crossed, waiting for you.

“Whether you're coming or not, I'm in the mood for a cup of coffee. Allow me to go fetch you one so that this whole ordeal between us may be over soon and we can both return to our respective worlds.”

You instantly snap open your wings and shot up into the sky, scoffing at his rudeness, and dash by him, racing to the left.

“It's this way, dummy,” he cackled as he immediately shot out. Embarrassed and annoyed, you flipped over to his side and flew alongside him, praying to the Lord for peace as your rage subsided.

“Lord, so help me”

---

 “So, what's on the agenda, Ms. Purity? There are a lot of things I'd want to do with you. You know, if you just ditch this whole act, we might be able to have some fun. He winked at you as he sipped his drink while peering across the table.

You shook your head and chuckled, gagging at his remark, "You must get all the girls, you appear really, what's the word, competent" I'm astonished since I assumed everyone down under was inept.”

He smirked and crossed his legs as he lay startled in his chair, cocking his head to the side. It's not that you were trying to be mean; it's just what you were taught. There are no hard feelings.

“Well, as much as I'd like to keep this delightful little date going, I have a commitment to fulfill. You know, duty calls.” You quickly got up and hurried after him, confused as to where he was going, as he shot up in the air and chuckled, waving farewell to you.

“Wait, Heeseung, you can't just go away like that. We need to figure out how I'm going to find you. You're being impolite by getting up and leaving.” You made yourself look insane since you didn't realize no one could see him. You wouldn't want to be labeled as one of these Earthlings.

You beckoned him down, mentally terrified, “Please can you just come down for a damn second.” Your jaw dropped as you hurriedly covered your mouth. Heeseung's jaw dropped when he appeared in front of you, stunned.

“Gasp, I'm hearing a term I'm sure they don't say in Heaven. Hmm, I suppose the Earth changes people.” He went closer to your ear, his warm arm bouncing on your skin as he giggled, his lips inches away from yours.

“I've already entered my phone number into your phone; you do understand what a phone is, right?” Doesn't matter,  I have to get somewhere, and you can locate me later. Okay, I'll see you later.” He swept up in the air and rushed over to the bridge as he vanished into the horizon, rushing out in a haste once more.

You sat back in the coffee chair, wiped your brow, and focused mentally and spiritually, pleading with the Lord for help and forgiveness. You had a feeling this mission was going to be a disaster.

Whining, you threw your hands in the air and sat face down on the table, groaning as you realized this trek. It's no surprise that these honors are well-deserved; it takes a lot of effort.

You cautiously lifted your head and faced the barista after hearing a soft tap on your table. She smiled at you as she set down a piece of paper. You scowled as you inspected the weird set of paper.

“What a jerk, he didn't just leave me to pay for both drinks.” With a shake of your head, you reached inside your bag and drew out a wallet. Your overseer informed you that many people like flaunting and spending their money, so she provided some for you just in case.

As you cleaned up, you began to mentally map out your route through town, mentally picturing the locations and navigating your way home. As you walked over to the cashier, you handed her some money and thanked her before heading out the door.

At the very least, you landed in a fantastic location. It was in the heart of South Korea, and the city was called Seoul, a wonderful metropolis to be sure. You were taught to master specific languages for specific tasks, so communicating wasn't a problem. Despite the fact that you were new in a strange place, you were determined to make the most of it. The first step was to return home and examine the situation.

How to manage Lee Heeseung. 

Arriving at your small abode was an adventure in itself; it didn't take long for you to connect your GPS and get going. It was actually fairly pleasant and provided a change of scenery to enjoy. It's not quite Heaven, but it's still lovely. When you finally arrive at your destination, you look up to see a little, charming apartment in front of you.

They really went all out for you, and it's very much in your style. You'd felt right at home as soon as you stepped inside, as it was more modern and sophisticated.

To be honest, you had no idea what you were doing, but it felt good to have your own little place to do anything you wanted. You could get used to this, no wonder why humans never leave their house. Who would want to leave when you have everything here. Food, entertainment, and a BALCONY!!

As you finished exploring the apartment and basked in its magnificence, you laughed to yourself as you made your way to the couch, sinking into its coziness as sleep took over your mind and body.

*Crunch, thud, bang*

As you lurched forward, you flew up your wings in defense mode, trying to understand what you'd heard.

“Who's there? I have a weapon, and I'm not afraid to use it.”

When you hear a familiar giggle, you look up and see the attractive intruder. Walking over to you and snatching the pillow from your grasp he took your hand and pulled you over to the island where he had prepared some food.

As you took it all in, you smelt familiar scents and smiled, completely forgetting about it until you were reminded again.

“Wait, what are you doing in my apartment, and how did you get in?”

He began to remove some pots and pans from the stove while he placed some food on a platter, saying, "I have my methods."

“I'm not sure what you eat up there in Heaven, but I'm guessing it's all healthy and nutritious food.” You laughed and shook your hand in disbelief while shaking your head.

“I don’t think out of all places we would be eating so strictly. It's basically whatever you can get your hands on.. It's guaranteed to be better food than what you'll find in Hell.”

Pulling the dish away from him, you began to pick at the fries, popping one into your mouth and savoring the flavor, “not bad.”

He bowed in front of you, wiped the sweets from his brow, and returned to sit next to you, grabbing a dish and feeding himself some. As the night progressed, you told him the rundown for the next three months.

“So, despite the fact that you're definitely one of the worst jerks I've ever encountered. For this to function, we'll need to create certain ground rules.” Aiming a finger between you and him. “I'm not sure whether you've ever had to do anything for anyone else in your life, but it's all about serving people around here, and that's why I accepted this assignment. Even if you don't want to help yourself, I want to help you.”

As Heeseung shuffled around in his chair, avoiding eye contact with you, the atmosphere became tense.

“Harsh, but keep going.”

Smiling you continued as you tried to wrap your head around this complex creature.

“I understand that we are supposed to protect and guide you to do good, but it appears that we have progressed far beyond that, and we need to start at the source of your problem, which is most likely your heart or mind. What's going on in both?

As his words danced across your lips, he smirked and drew you closer to him.

“Now there's a secret.” 

Smirking as your face felt warm, you cocked your head to the side and touched his shoulder before getting up and setting your dish in the sink, cleaning up as piercing eyes stabbed your back.

“I understand what you're thinking, and I've got it all under control.”

He approached you and said, "If you say so," as he put his head against your ear.

2 months later 

Everything was certainly out of hand, and he was to blame. Your strategy not only failed, but it was only a matter of time until your overseer found out. And you didn’t want to end up like the last guy tossed from Heaven.

It wasn't all that bad, but who were you kidding, it was a disaster. It wasn't a major shift; rather, it was a series of modest changes. Things like accidentally cursing or hanging out with him at ungodly hours. You convinced yourself that everything was OK.

He drew you into your room and sat you down while hovering over you, gently caressing your body and kissing you.

You smiled and drew him closer to you, wrapping your legs around his waist and bringing him down on you, closing the distance between you.

Heeseung has been on a mission to damage your "innocent demeanor" for the past two weeks. He intended to show you that it was all a charade and that no one is actually perfect. Despite not knowing what he was going to do, you were up for the challenge. That core part of you didn't take long to succumb to his immoral impulses.

What was the problem as long as you were both happy?

“Heeseung,” you say as he draws you closer to him and unclasps your bra with his free hand. As you slowly rise to assist him, you toss the material to the ground and reach for his sweatpants.

“Someone a little needy, but we are not doing that today. Today is all about pampering my lovely angel. Is it all right?”

Nodding your head, you keep an eye on him as he goes between your legs, halting at the bottom as he eyes your breast and grasps softly as your body adjusts.

“Hurry up,” you grumble as you stare at his sinister grin. As you moan, he places gentle lips along your folds, leaning down to your core. As you twitch under his touch, his finger makes a fast dive between your folds, inciting dampness.

As you whine from the pressure, your eyes flutter shut as he switches his finger out with his tongue, softly licking up your surface.

“mm, close,” you exclaim, your lips wide open as he notices your clit, tongue flicking lustfully against it. As he presses harder on your sensitive region, he laughs as you break apart under his power.

“Oh God, right there.” 

“Please don't involve Him in this.” He hits a place as your high comes crashing down on you, chuckling at your reaction. Heeseung is holding you down and watching you quiver wildly as you release juice, which causes him to swallow it before wiping his mouth. As you fall onto his body, overwhelmed and still sensitive to the sensation, he pulls you up.

He lays your exhausted body next to his and wipes any excess arousal from his mouth before kissing your lips.

You both lay in a comfortable stillness for the remainder of the night, your breathing slowly returning to normal as you sign into his arms.

“Perhaps you're right; we're all just horny, messed-up creatures; I mean, even though what we're doing is completely wrong, it was fun to break the rules. My entire life has been focused on doing the right thing and being this upstanding angel. It's fun to deviate from the norm.” As Heeseung witnessed you erupt in rage, you became agitated.

“You’re cute when you’re mad, also I told you.” You both chuckled as you pushed him to the side before coming to a halt in the middle of your conversation, looking concerned at him.

“However, I leave tomorrow and I don't think I'll be ready to see you off, and this was not in my plan.”

“Shhh, I figured it out; just stick to my plan and we'll both come out on top.”

You sat closer to him, nodding your head and clasping your hand in his as you allowed sleep to take over your body.

As you may know, angels and humans have quite distinct punishments; some humans are never punished for their wrongdoings, whereas angels' actions are usually discovered one way or another.

And you were terrified that they would find out. The person who fell from the edge was not the same person who was returning back and everyone was going to know it. Just not right now, you had to maintain your composure as you approached your overseer.

As you were greeted with the overseer and some guards, you held Heeseung by his chains and whispered something into his ear.

“I see you were having a good time?” You shook your head and looked down, worried. You looked up at her with sad eyes.

“Yes, High Lord, I am aware of my error and what needs to be done in order to be purified once more. I accept complete responsibility for this assignment, but I crack him first, and we have all the secrets we need.”

As he observed you return to the opposite side with the overseer, Heeseung's gaze shifted up in fright. Fearing for his life, he flailed his wings in an attempt to flee.

“What the hell, Y/N, I thought we were on the same team.” How could you betray me in such a way?” You walked over to his trembling body and pushed him down so you were above him, laughing loudly. You patted his shoulder as you cackled.

“And they said angels could be trustworthy. I know what I'm worth, and it has nothing to do with you. Heseeung, please accept my apologies. Get him out of here.” The guards grabbed his chains and dragged him to a chamber across the room from you.

As she began to compliment you on your efforts, the supervisor wrapped her arm around your shoulder.

“I'm proud of you, Y/N, even though you used some terrible techniques. I knew you'd be able to pull it off.”

You grinned joyously and thanked her for her faith in you as you looked up at her face. You cast another peek at Heeseung as she stepped forward, and he winked at you. Smirking before he disappeared into the room you chuckled at his behavior.

Everything was going swimmingly, and no one had a clue. I suppose taking over Heaven would be a simple task; if you can blow up the inside, everything will fall apart on its own.

"How could you hide this from all of us?" "Oh God, you underestimated me."

The Beauty of Sin.

☆ ҉ ◢▅◣

➳ Navigate to the Maze

[kinetic-elaboration]

August 15: 2x03 The Paradise Syndrome

I have seen this episode once before and I remember it being pretty awful... but tbh, I didn’t think it was so bad this time around. Maybe that’s just because my expectations were, like, Spock’s-Brain low. It definitely had issues but there was stuff I liked too!

Hmmm, that’s not the bridge. It appears to be... California?

Wondering what people might be so “blessed by this environment”--what a manly he-man action/adventure guy thing to say, amirite?

How does Spock know the significant markers of all the Native American tribes at a distance, off the top of his head?

(Answer: he doesn’t; all of this information is wrong and also one of those tribes is completely made up lmao.)

Honestly, who’s to say these people aren’t advanced? How do YOU know?

“Just so peaceful... no command decisions.” Oh no, Jim’s feeling Romantic again.

Honestly, imagine this characterization in AOS: overworked starship captain think he wants a break (but is wrong). Beyond made a vague attempt but missed what it is that Kirk finds stressful about command--it’s not that it’s boring, it’s the weight of the responsibility and the inability to find love.

Although funnily enough, even on his Native American Vacation, he still finds himself in a command position. He just can’t be stopped. Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself.

Oh no, the obelisk ate him.

Maybe these people specifically built the obelisk so that they could return to this idyllic ““primitive”“ state, hmm? Maybe they like their lives this way. Maybe they experienced "progress" and then decided that whatever era of their development looked like indigenous American peoples had it right. (This is not correct but it roughly is the plot of Errand of Mercy so I’m not without precedent.)

Spock’s using simple tools to explain his point to Bones lol. “Here, let me dumb it down for you, lesser man of science.”

“Who am I? What are these?” Cpine morning voice: “This must be a dream!”

Kirk looks so confused. The god from the obelisk.

“The engines are showing signs of stress.” Seems to me like SCOTTY’S showing signs of stress.

And yet the music is so whimsical.

Honestly Kirk’s expression here = Denny Crane’s when in a meeting

White man brings CPR, is hailed as god. (I wish I were making this up.)

Damn, Salish has been demoted. How embarrassing for him.

This is a VERY interesting Spock. He does all his calculations, but the he takes all the risks. He’s very certain and single-minded, almost obsessed, not afraid of anything. I think it’s IC but I also think you can see some Kirk influence, perhaps... You can see how Spock has grown in his command abilities since The Galileo Seven.

The wise ones = the aliens.

“He died before he could tell Salish the secret” to opening the Obelisk and stopping the asteroid. That IS unfortunate.

“How does this shirt open?” Lol.

“Your name is Kirok?” “Yeah, sure, whatever.”

“I’ve never been this happy and peaceful.” Funny how he looks neither happy nor peaceful. Maybe it’s something like “I’ve never been this happy and peaceful...and I don’t like it.” Or “I’ve never been this happy and peaceful... there must be something wrong.”

“Here there is much time. For everything.” No there isn’t, there’s an asteroid coming.

Kirk’s cottage core fantasy.

Poor Scotty, so stressed out. Maybe he needs some time with the indigenous aliens.

The Joining Day? Lol okay.

Kirk has no chill, at all. “Oh, you want to get married? Tomorrow? Okay!!” Is this how Gary was able to successfully distract with him the blonde lab technician?

The “stardrive.”

“Estimated repair time?” “FOREVER.”

“And you lost Jim.” Cool it Bones, there’s no need to be cruel. Spock’s already in his thinking pose so you know he’s taking this seriously.

Love Spock’s chair. That’s not Starfleet regulation.

“I have found paradise.” Is he high??

Requisite highly choreographed fight scene.

“You’ve barely eaten or slept for weeks.” That’s because he’s worried about Jim. And the giant asteroid. This is a great Spock and McCoy scene though.

I can’t believe this. Spock lies down (barely!) and McCoy just leaves like he actually thinks he’s won, and then Spock immediately gets up again to go back to work.This guy is even easier to fool than Sarek.

You know Spock spent his whole adolescence going "Sure, I'll do the thing" and then just not doing it.

“A strange lodge that moves through the sky...” Well okay.

Okay I’m sorry, is he sensing the enterprise or is he sensing SPOCK? Because most of this dialogue might just imply he’s generically remembering his old life... but he also specifically says that the “flying lodge” was farther away and now it’s closer again, and how he could he know that otherwise?

She’s pregnant? That’s not good lol. AWKWARD.

Also the closest that TOS will ever come to acknowledging people have sex.

Omg he made a lamp. He made a lamp on his first day there. Does this imply that Captain Kirk had an arts and crafts phase?? Like CPR I understand him knowing--I’m sure everyone in Starfleet does. But hand-carving a lamp? That’s a whole other skill.

Various cultures including “certain Vulcan offshoots” use music notes as words omgggggg I love this information PLEASE tell me more.

“The Preservers” is a good concept imo. Nifty sci fi innovation: taking aliens from endangered places and giving them a new place, then setting it up nicely for them.

Stop throwing things guys! It’s not helping!

“I need Nurse Chapel.” Damn right you do.

Spock really doesn’t like that “wife.” He sounds like “Wife?? How dare??”

Then he suggests it’s a hallucination even though there’s a woman right there.

"Naturally, since he did not come from there. He's my man, get your paws off him."

Vulcan mind fusion? What the heck is that? How is it season 3 and they still don’t know what to call it?

“He is an extremely dynamic individual.” Spock was really taken for a ride in that brain.

“The landing party is expendable.” There’s the Captain.

“I have an excellent eye for musical notes.” Brag.

“Just press the right button.”

Looks like Spock was the god they wanted all along.

Okay, that was an uncool ending though. I know they basically had to kill Miramanee as soon as she was pregnant but like, there was also no reason for her to be pregnant??? I would have preferred if (1) Miramanee hadn't been pregnant, (2) Jim got over her as soon as he regained his memory and (3) she lived and they just parted awkwardly.

Also I think it would have been nice if they had ended with the Enterprise explaining to Salish how the obelisk works, and then maybe even a hint that he and Miramanee will get back together. Like, maybe not that, since I’m not a fan of women just being used to, like, make men feel better--though I’m also not a fan of them being fridged because of Inconvenient Baby--but he should have at least gotten his position back and, more importantly, the knowledge he was always entitled to. Also, the very existence of an asteroid deflector, along with the people’s extensive knowledge of what weather signifies Oncoming Asteroid, implies this happens to them with some frequency. So in other words, the threat will return.

Plus Salish never got enough credit for being right, which he was! The whole time!

Oh and also I would have liked some acknowledgement that Jim does like being Captain. If you watch the whole show, you know that he occasionally bemoans the stress and his inability to maintain a romantic relationship, despite his love of long walks on the beach, but that he’s also ambitious, he loves exploration and adventure, he gets bored if left in one place too long, and he believes in the necessity of progress and discovery to keep not just individuals but societies from stagnation. But if you just watched this episode, you’d think he’d never been happy in his entire life, and that returning to command makes him miserable.

Aside from the Native American stuff--which was awkward and rather unnecessary and has aged, as you might imagine, very very poorly--I actually didn’t hate the episode. It had some VERY interesting Spock stuff, which I think is within a reasonable Spock characterization, and some great Spock and Bones moments. Kirk’s story line was surprisingly engaging for him being completely separate from the crew, and the general theme that he sometimes needs, or thinks he desires, a break from command, is definitely in keeping with other episodes. I liked the asteroid as the Big Danger, which was surprisingly dynamic--by which I mean, it did a good job of connecting the very disparate story lines on the Enterprise and on the planet. I also liked the Sci Fi Concept of the week in the Protectors. And it was interesting to see an ep take place over a longer period of time.

None of this is to downplay how awkward the Native American elements are--incredibly fetishistic, and also lazy--like, “I want to show something Simple and Idyllic...I know! Indians!” There was no reason they should look like American Indians. In fact, it makes no sense that they do: the Protectors take peoples from planets that are about to be destroyed and (somehow) discreetly move them somewhere else, but Native American peoples still.... very much exist? And so does Earth as a whole. So obviously these aliens weren’t transplanted from Earth. So why should their culture resemble some awkward mishmash of Native American cultures?

So overall I’d say, the ideas of the episode, the structure, the characterizations (mostly), and the overall ideas were good, but it was just very awkward and unfortunate that it chose the... aesthetic that it did--especially because it was very much an aesthetic choice and not a well-thought-out, culturally sensitive one. Gonna be honest and just chalk that up to it being 1968 though.

Next is And the Children Shall Lead, which I actually think was one of the first TOS eps I ever saw... But I don’t remember it at all.  So we’ll see!

[dailyaudiobible]

11/08/2020 DAB Transcript

Ezekiel 18:1-19:14, Hebrews 9:1-10, Psalms 106:32-48, Proverbs 27:10

Today is the 8th day of November welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I am Brian it is great to be here with you as we reach out together, twist that knob, throw open the door, and walk through the threshold into a brand do shiny sparkly week. And I'm ready to walk into this brand-new shiny sparkly week. I always am because it's a new start. And there may be spillover. We may have all kinds of little entanglements that are being carried over from the last week but how we deal with them, we can take a new approach if we want to. And that's the reminder of a new week but that's also the reminder of a new day. Yesterday may have been brutal and we may have handled everything incorrectly and we’ve got a lot of cleanup to do, but how we approach that in this new day or in this new week, that's in our corner. Nobody's gonna make us defend the positions we had yesterday. If we now realize we may have been incorrect or overreacted we can just walk into this new week humbly, we can just get clean and get true and walk into freedom. And, so, we’ve got us shiny sparkly new week out in front of us and let's dive into it with all of our hearts. We’re gonna read from the God's Word translation this week and we…we will be continuing the journey that we…that’s being pulled forward from last week in the book of Ezekiel and in the book of Hebrews. So, first obviously, we’ll read from the Old Testament. Ezekiel chapters 18 and 19 today.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for this brand-new week that we are walking into. And we are walking into it with the anticipation that You will lead and guide us. You are always doing this. You are always patient with us and we are humbly repentant for the times that we are just…it's just too chaotic and we are spinning and we are…You are the last person on our mind and we are not…we are thinking about how we’re gonna cope and we’re thinking about how we’re gonna get through and we turn to You when it seems as if there’s no possible way that can happen instead of walking with You through everything knowing for sure we can navigate this. No matter how difficult or confusing it is we will get through. We won't be trying to cope. We will be coping and overcoming because this is a state that is within us as opposed to us asserting our will upon those around us. So, may we be overcome by You, by Your very presence. May we be overwhelmed by Your presence instead of all of the things that are trying to distract us. Come Holy Spirit, well up from within as we become aware of Your guidance and leadership Your comfort. We pray this in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is home base, it is…it's the website, it’s where you find out what's going on around here, what the Initiatives are. The Daily Audio Bible Shop is there as well as the Community section with the Prayer Wall and ways to get connected. So, check…check this out. If you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app you can…you can access all of these things from within the app by pressing the Drawer icon and that's the little…little drawer looking icon in the upper left-hand corner and that’ll get you there. So, check that out.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com as well or using the app as well by pushing the Give button in the upper right-hand corner. And I thank you humbly, thank you deeply for your partnership. If you prefer the mail, the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement, you can hit the Hotline button in the app, little red button at the top. Hard to miss. It’s the only red button up there. So, that's the one and you can press that and begin to share with no matter where you are in the world, or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Good morning my friends this is Aaron from sin city. Hope everyone’s doing well and blessed in these last and evil days. I just want to encourage everyone to be steadfast. Stay with the Lord, stay focused, stay encouraged because God is able to keep you from falling. Jude 24:25 says, “now unto Him that is able to keep you from falling and present you faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy to the only wise God our Savior. Be glory and majesty, dominion and power both now and forever.” And remember also that God has not giving you a spirit of fear but love power and a sound mind. So, you’re going through marital difficulties you’re going through depression, you’re going through anxiety, you’re going through stresses in your life, children are backsliding, disobedient. Know that one, the word of God is right, and the word of God is being fulfilled and God is not so easy to forget what you’re going through. He loves you and He cares for you. So, as Peter says, “let’s cast our cares upon Him because He cares for us. And don’t worry. Be anxious for nothing. But in everything in supplication and prayer, giving of thanks let your requests be made known.” We just have to learn folks how to just give it to God and let Him deal with it, let Him handle it. Because He’s able to do exceedingly and abundantly above all that we ask or think. God bless you. Have an awesome day, awesome week. Enjoy the month of November.

Do not boast about tomorrow because you do not know what a day may produce Proverbs 27:1. This is what the Lord says, let not the wise boast of their wisdom or the strong boast of their strength or the rich boast of their riches but let the one who boasts boast about this, that they have the understanding to know me that I am the Lord who exercises kindness, justice, righteousness on earth. For in these things I delight declares the Lord. Jeremiah 9:23-24. Let someone else praise you, not your own mouth, a stranger not your own lives. Proverbs 27:2. Long ago the Lord said to Israel, I have loved you with an everlasting love. With unfailing kindness, I have drawn you to myself. Jeremiah 31:3. If you know how much the Lord loves you, you don’t have to sing your own praises, advertise your ability, vocalize your riches. You boast in the Lord God who has given new life, confidence, been your provider, guide, healer, redeemer and loves you with an everlasting love. So, Lord I lift you up today. I lift you up today O Lord and I thank you that you are the King of Kings and Savior of the world, the Creator, Redeemer, Defender and Healer, our Prince of Peace our indwelling God. Your Holy Spirit has anointed us. Your Spirit, You died to provide for us as a covering, down payment, infilling sanctified who releases us from any advantage or strategy of the enemy over our lives. Only because of you Lord do we have truth and life and have it and can enjoy it with you at our side ever filling us with strength and joy whatever comes. We have life and we have it abundant until it overflows into the life of all around us with blessing and encouragement, patients, kindness, goodness. Only in you Jesus, gentleness and self-control. So, we can walk humbly love mercy and be examples of God’s justice in this broken world. Love conquers everything. God’s love never…

Hello DAB family today is November 4th and I just finished listening to the November 3rd podcast and I’ve gotta tell you Brian’s comments and the end of that…the reading today pretty much epitomized why I love this community so much, why I listen, why I put a log…my own log on the campfire every month to keep the fires burning. If you haven’t heard it, basically it just reminds us to whom exactly we owe our allegiance, to which kingdom precisely, to which king exactly we owe our allegiance and what this is all about - to love one another as we have been loved. So, to that end, thank you Brian. Thank you for giving us this medium that keeps it really real and free the stuff of this world that weighs us down. Also, I just want to give a shout up Julie who I believe called in as a relatively new listener. Praying that what you have lost will start to be restored as you come back and into the word. Praying for the woman whose son was in that horrible incident. O…that’s terrible. I…I just lift you up sister and all of those who were involved. And thank you to the one who called in praying for our elderly patients…parents. Yeah…I’m one of those who has elderly parents in a situation. So, yeah, another reason why I love this community. We are all going through something and we are all going through it together. Thank you DAB.

Daily Audio Bible community I am a…almost a 3-year listener in Chicago in desperate need of prayer. It’s Wednesday, November 4th and I’m just really struggling. I just feel like everything in my life is going badly. I’ve got several strained relationships in my family, horrible things that are happening with my son. Work is good and my health is good. And I know that I should just really be thankful. I’m blessed for the areas that are going good but the things are going bad just feel so heavy today. And I can’t stop crying. I can’t focus at work and I just need all the prayers to get. Thank you so much.

Hi family this is Biola from Maryland I hope you’re all doing well. Brian and Jill God bless your ministry. China, I’m still prating for your pregnancy for a healthy pregnancy and that you and Ben will have that baby safely in the name of Jesus. Chris, it broke my heart to hear your prayer request and I pray that God will comfort you and your daughter over the passing of her mother in the name of Jesus. And I am also praying for the sisters that called in, Desiree and the other lady who can’t read her Bible because of cancer. Lord we know O God Lord that cancer is a thief because it was not caused by you Lord. And, so, in agreement with my brothers and sisters in the Daily Audio Bible we come against this cancer in the name of Jesus. Oh Lord of heaven I pray that You will arise with healing in your wings over these ladies O God, these precious daughters of yours O God and everyone in the DAB family battling with cancer or even Covid. Dan, I heard your prayer request about your sister-in-law who is battling Covid. I’m hoping in the name of Jesus that she’s fine now and she’s out of the woods. And I pray for everyone who is still suffering from Covid and is a member of the Daily Audio Bible. Father hear our cries over them and heal them in the name of Jesus. Margot I was chuckling when I heard your testimony. Isn’t that like our God?? You asked for a window, He gives you a balcony. Margot I’m praying for you and praying that God will prosper you in your ministry. I’m praying for all the missionaries from the world, that God would prosper them. I thank the sister that called in from Nigeria. God bless you my sister. Family whenever you remember Nigeria please pray for that country that God will intervene, stamp out corruption in that country and that God would comfort the hearts of those whose families of those who have lost their lives in the name of Jesus.

[hellenic-devotional]

52 Deep Ass Witchcraft Questions >.<

What draws me to witchcraft? What draws me to witchcraft? Maybe the sense of belonging I feel, maybe it is the comfort I gain when I practice. I have always been drawn to the occult ever since I was a child. I cannot explain why I love it so much. It just feels right. I was lost when I was young. In the sense that I had lost my sense of family friendship and love (especially self-love).

How do I see the divine? I see them as wonderful companions and beings that I can learn and find guidance from. Lots of times they appear to me like shadows or shimmers like glittery blobs in front of me. Other times they chime into my head like ringing a doorbell or whispering in cryptic images, words, and sounds. 

What in witchcraft makes me happy? I love how I feel about all of it. I love the craft and the darker sides of magic. I especially love the ways I have connected more to others and especially myself through it all.

Do I want to follow a path that has to do with a little nature or a lot of nature? I would rather stay away from any kind of nature besides dirt, sea water, moon water etc since I have this insane ability to kill any plants in my care or near me. 

What areas of witchcraft would I like to learn more about? I would like to learn more about energy healing, soul work, conjuring, sea magic, and spirit work. I already work with most of these but I always want to collect more and more information. 

Where do my witchy talents lie? I’d say I am confident in my dream interpretations, scrying, and sea magic.

What kind of deities, if any, do I want to honour? I honour Hades, Poseidon, Selene mainly, but any other deity who asks for help or an offering is welcome in my space. I also have a small altar planned for my spirit companions and such.

How do I believe magic works? I believe it is a combined mix of supernatural forces, your own intentions, practice, faith, and energy.

Simple or elaborate spells/rituals? Why? I really love elaborate spells and rituals, however, I am not in a position to perform them with money, time, and having to keep my craft a secret being a constant issue. So I perform simple spells regularly XD I love them just as much as elaborate spells. 

What are my views on cursing/hexing? I am the biggest Pro Curse witch. I practice cursing, hexing, and jinxing on a regular basis. I love it! Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, and I honestly couldn’t care less if someone hates me or my craft because I approve of curses. It is none of their business what I do.

Do I want to practice something similar to my ancestors? I have not considered anything with my ancestors, my family is a mess and I’d rather not dig into their history.

What are the basic morals and ethics I feel I should live by? To strive to live to your fullest (arete), keeping duty, promise, and reverence toward the gods (eusebia), having moral purity; doing what is right always and keeping a strong moral compass (hagneia), live to gain wisdom and knowledge from everywhere and everyone (sophia), having self-control; denying temptations etc (sophrosune), practising hospitality, generosity, and courtesy always (xenia)

What in nature am I drawn to; the ocean, animals, the trees, etc? I am drawn to the deep earth, it’s minerals and gems, the ocean, sea, any body of water really, the moon, flowers, and old trees.

Which (witchy) holidays, if any, would I like to celebrate and how? Currently I do not celebrate any witchy holidays. But I plan to incorporate some into my practice soon (mainly Hellenic and Buddhist holidays).

How do I believe divination works? I believe divination comes through deep within yourself, the universe conversing with your spirit, entities, spirits, and deities communicating through the tools, and the energy through the devices themselves guiding the reader. When reading the signs, symbols, and images seen through divination there are so many secrets being told and unveiled at the hands of the reader.

Would I like to work with a group some of the time, all of the time or not at all? I would love to have a permanent and stable coven who is really casual with the craft and rituals. Although I do like performing spells alone, three people would be the strongest. 

Which aspects of witchcraft appeal to me most, which the least? The aspects that most appeals to me are the ability to express oneself, the openness for all possibilities, and a validation of my personal character. What I like least is the discourse it creates in some places and the prejudices against those who practice, and even the prejudice between groups of people who practice different crafts. I very much dislike the negative stigma that has been highlighted by social media, society, and most Hollywood productions.

What do I believe happens to us when we die? I believe that in death our souls will be able to travel to the afterlife that we deserve. We will be judged on our actions in life and placed in one of the hells, heavens, sanctuaries, or be reborn to learn the lessons we missed during our time on earth.

How do I see mythological creatures? I see mythological creatures as those who once had physical forms and some who still exist in the physical but are hidden from our naked eyes. Those who have become spirits still interact with the world but in a much different way than what they would have when they had physical forms.

When do I feel most magical? I feel the most magical when I am divining, speaking to my gods, and performing spells/curses...

How much is witchcraft woven into my daily life; is this too much, too little or just enough? I would like more of my craft to be a daily thing. So far I just discuss it and share information between blogs and friends. And the occasional ritual every so often.

What kind of witch do I feel I am? I am rather eclectic, I mainly focus on divination, sea and watercraft, and hedge magic.

Which texts/quotes best describe my current path? 

Do I like to research and gathering info, or do I like things handed to me? I love researching and finding out new things about witchcraft. Though it is also nice when people give me information as well.

Which things about witchcraft worry or scare me? What worries me the most in the craft is mainly messing up a ritual or reading and upsetting someone I am doing a spell for or a client who asks for a reading. I’m afraid of failing people,,, especially since this is something I say I am good at.

What is my favourite element? My favourite element would have to be water. 

How do I see gender (roles) in witchcraft? I don’t even know why this is asked. Like any other place in life a person’s gender shouldn’t affect anyone’s opinion of them.

Am I interested more in magic or spirituality? I think I have a more focused interest on the occult,,, however my practice is closely tied to my religions and culture so who is to say which I prefer more.

Do I like to be told how to do things, or would I rather figure it out on my own? It really depends on the situation. If I were to find myself capable enough to figure it out then sure, I would do that. However, if it was a situation in where I have no expertise or capability than I would much prefer to have someone instruct me.

What rules, if any, do I live by when it comes to witchcraft and magic? (1) never disrespect anyone else in the community, (2) always return what you are given, (3) deities, entities, spirits, and other beings are just as entitled to rightful treatment as you are so treat them with respect, (4) do not be closed minded; gather what you can from around you and use it to the fullest, (5) never use magic for ill intended personal gain, (6) curse all that you want, but never ever try to harm anyone’s life …

What do I gain from witchcraft and magic? I believe that I can gain a peace of mind when I practice my craft. It also becomes a whole new place for me to express myself, and to find my identity.

Formal or informal rituals/spells? Why? I believe both can be utilized in places where they are needed. Structure of my craft follows as its name intended,,, ride with the currents and adapt to the shape of the situation

What subject do I love to study? I like learning about ghosts, spirits, deities, entities, demons, dark spirits, curses, hexes, jinxes, sea/water magic, astrology, divination, interpretations, and potion making.

What is my favourite type of magic; candle, sympathetic, sigils, etc? I don’t think I really have a favourite?? However I do enjoy some nice summoning, conjuring and so forth.

What would my perfect witchy day be like? Sleeping in, brewing some home made magic tea, writing some curses, conversing with my guides and deities, taking some time in the day to make some successful future spells, going on a witch supply run with a fellow witch.

Would I want to be dedicated/initiated? I don’t really follow those rules? I’m a pretty secular witch as it is,,, I wouldn’t want to be initiated into a group where I do not completely trust those people. 

Who do I honour (ex: deities, ancestors, myself, etc), and how do I, or would I like to, honour them? I honour my patrons (Hades and Poseidon) and matron (Selene) with libations, burning foods as offerings, practicing magic with them, studying where they tell me I need to work on,,,

How do I create a sacred/witchy space? I begin with cleaning the area, clearer space a clearer mind, then I bless it with rosemary and celery seed incense, I set up my tools and altar, then I meditate and ask for the powers of my guides and patheon to aid me in blessing the space. I am trying to keep an aesthetic for my altars and still have to plan them,,, 

What do I believe is needed for a successful spell/ritual? I believe that the right amount of energy and focus is needed to complete a ritual perfectly. However I have not done many official rituals so I’d have to do that and come back to add more to this.

Which cultures do I draw from in my witchcraft? I draw from the Hellenic culture to my craft, I draw great inspiration from the Hellenic deities and stories.

What is my learning style; books, websites, videos, more hands-on? I like learning from all sources of information, though I’m not very fond of videos since I like to absorb the material at my own pace.

What, if anything, in my mundane life influences my witchcraft? I believe my emotions and lifestyle really influence my craft,,, because I am not allowed to practice such craft in my home I have to keep it secret from my family members and am forced to take other means of crafting and establishing a place to craft.

What are my hobbies, how do I (or can I) incorporate them in my witchcraft? I love to sleep?? So I do a lot of dream interpretations?? I really don’t know what kind of hobbies would mesh with witchcraft? I do like aesthetics so I strive to do everything to the aesthetic appeal.

Where do my non-witchy talents lie, how do I (or can I) incorporate them in my witchcraft? I am fairly good at planning large events and managing people, I believe I could do a great deal in organizing rituals, craft affairs or other occult like events.

What would my dream witchy life look like? What steps can I take to work towards it? My dream witch life would be me working amazingly at being a wedding and event planner, while owning my own supernatural and metaphysical store. Steps I could take to work towards it? Hmmm. Well I would have to finish school as one, secondly find and establish a place for myself in the wedding and events industry, then plan further to open my own cafe/supernatural/metaphysical store. (which I have made great plans for,,, however I have no idea which plan I would choose first).

What would my dream sacred space/witchy home look like? What steps can I take to work towards it? I would love to live in a multi floored old semi detached town house. Where there is a fine kitchen, a grand bedroom, a study and an office space where I could work on  both my passions, witchcraft and wedding planning. I would like there to be a terrace as well, mainly for whatever artistic urges find me and I need a safe place to art it out. There would also be a reading area within the study where I place my alters and magic working area, in the study there would be a small stove as well so I can brew potions. I would like a bit of closet space in this house for all of my herbs, gems, and divination tools to be stored and protected. And of course a nice comfortable living space for my cat Nico to roam and make his domain. I would need a hella lot of money and good credit

What symbols correspond with me; runes, animals, flowers, gemstones, etc? Large serpents, Storms, Dreams, Blood, psionic abilities, Peaches, Moon and Sun, Twin flames

Am I an open and proud witch, or do I (need to) hide my craft? I need to hide my craft from my family, though everywhere else I am a big prideful witch who doesn’t shy from sharing about the craft.

What are my favourite witchy items/tools; divination tool, ritual tool, décor, clothing, etc? My favourite tools are my mirrors, pendulum, and tarot cards.

What is holding me back in my craft? I really think it is my own living situation, familial situation, and my financial situation that holds me back from truly exploring my craft. Alongside my growing mental and health issues.

What is my pre-spell/ritual routine? It really depends on what kind of spell I am working on. It can take up to a whole day to a few moments.

What are my ultimate witchy goals and how can I work towards them? My ultimate goal right now is to find my own place in the world before I really work hard on the plans I have for my craft. I needed to strengthen myself before I can do much more than what I am already doing as of now. My goal is to have enough funds to actually make a good enough alter for my deities and spirits, to someday own my own shop/cafe, and to finally find myself through my practice.

[godsheadangel]

🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏IT IS SO TIME NOW TO [BOW DOWN PEOPLE] 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏👁GOD💫HAS BEEN MIGHTY PATIENT WITH YOU HIS✝ CREATED CHILDREN✝ SURELY [I] SAY, "LORDGODINHEAVEN💫HAVE MERCY UPON US" FOR YOUR POWER IS GREAT AND YOUR [GRACE IS MERCIFUL] TO THOSE OF YOUR OBEDIENT SPIRITUALLY💫AWAKENED ONES WORLDWIDE [ESPECIALLY] DURING [THESE LAST END DAYS🌅]EVEN WITH HIS SPECIAL💫ANGELS LEAVING THIS EARTH🌍

🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

KOBE AND GIGI ARE DOING ALRIGHT ALONG WITH ARA, JOHN, KERI AND ALYSSA ALSO CHRISTINA, SARAH, PAYTON THEY HAVE MADE THEIR SPIRITUAL💫TRANSITION HAVE BEEN WELCOMED BY THEIR FAMILY MEMBERS AND HAVE EXPERIENCED THE POWERFUL HOLY💫PRESENCE OF 👁GOD💫

🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

BY THE HOLY💫ORDER OF GOD💫HIMSELF THE FOLLOWING SPIRITUAL MESSAGES ARE SENT FROM HOLY💫HEAVEN💫FROM THEM

🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

JOHN, KERI AND ALYSSA ALTOBELLI. JOHN SAYS, WE ARE HERE HAPPY AMONGST OUR SPIRITUAL💫FAMILY AND FRIENDS WHAT A GLORIOUS PLACE HOLY💫HEAVEN💫IS, WE ENJOYED OUR LIVES ON EARTH AND ALL THE JOY SHARED WITH ALEXIS AND J.J AND EVEN THOUGH WE ARE NO LONGER PHYSICALLY THERE WITH YOU 👁GOD💫WILL ALLOW US TO ALWAYS BE AROUND YOU IN SPIRIT💫AND FOR THAT WE ARE TRULY GRATEFUL.

KERI SAYS, TOO OUR DAUGHTER ALEXIS A JOURNEY FOR YOU BEGINS OF STRENGTH AND WE HAVE NO DOUBT YOU WILL GROW SMARTER AND STRONGER AFTER YOUR TEARS HAVE LONG DRIED JUST KEEP REMEMBERING THAT WE'RE ALWAYS WITH YOU LOOK FOR SPIRITUAL💫SIGNS WE GIVE AS CONFIRMATION AND RELY ON J.J. WHEN YOU NEED TO RELEASE YOUR EMOTIONS WE LOVE💘 BOTH OF YOU FOREVER AND TO ALL OF OUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS JUST KNOW THAT OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU JOHN AND I WILL ALWAYS TREASURE!

ALYSSA, GOD💫THANK YOU🙏FOR GIVING ME SUCH GREAT PARENTS, A GREAT BIG BROTHER AND BIG SISTER WHO ALWAYS BROUGHT SMILES TO MY FACE THEY ALWAYS SUPPORTED ME AND I SUPPORTED THEM TOO I'LL MISS OUR TIMES TOGETHER AS A FAMILY BUT TREASURE ALL OF OUR MEMORIES. DON'T FORGET TO DO THE DISHES J.J AND ALEXIS DON'T FORGET THE UNICORNS! I LOVE💘YOU GUYS ALYSSA!!!

💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞

SARAH AND PAYTON CHESTER. SARAH SAYS TO ALL OF OUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS DON'T WORRY WE'RE MORE THAN OKAY GOD💫HAS SHOWN US SO MANY BEAUTIFUL AND WONDERFUL THINGS YOU CAN'T IMAGINE LIFE HERE IS SO AMAZING AND DIFFERENT IT ONLY TAKES A FEW MOMENTS TO GET YOU USE TOO NOT BEING IN A PHYSICAL BODY THE FEELINGS YOU FEEL IN THE HEAVENLY💫LIGHT IS SO PEACEFUL CHRIS IT'S LIKE LOOKING AT A BIRD FLY FOR THE FIRST TIME, IT'S JUST SO BEAUTIFUL LIKE OUR TIME SPENT TOGETHER RAISING OUR CHILDREN WHAT A JOY AND EXPERIENCE, IT WASN'T EASY ALL THE TIME RILEY AND HAYDEN WE'RE HANDFULS SOMETIMES BUT SMART, HANDSOME AND STRONG JUST LIKE YOU, A MOTHER COULD NOT ASK FOR ANY BETTER SONS THAN OUR TWO THE JOY THEY AND PAYTON BROUGHT IN MY LIFE WAS OUR GIFTS FROM HEAVEN💫I WANT HAYDEN AND RILEY TO ALWAYS REMEMBER WE'LL ALWAYS BE AROUND GUIDING THEM AND WE'LL ALWAYS BE IN THEIR HEARTS FOREVER! TOO OUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS YOUR SUPPORT AND LOVE💘 OVER THE YEARS MEANT MORE THAN YOU'LL EVER KNOW AND TO BOTH OF MY BROTHERS I LOVE💘YOU AND BEHAVE AND TO MY MOM YOU'RE THE BEST YOU TAUGHT ME HOW TO RAISE A LOVING FAMILY!

PAYTON, THANK YOU GOD💫FOR BEING SO GREAT AND PUTTING US ON EARTH🌎FOR A REASON THANK YOU FOR MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND THANK YOU FOR ALLOWING US TO SPEAK IN HOLY💫HEAVENLY💫SPIRIT WITH OUR HEAD ANGEL KING👑RAY WHO TODAY🌅BRINGS OUR WORDS TO ALL OF YOU I'LL TRY AND SAY THIS BEST I CAN MY DAD IS THE BEST DAD IN THE WORLD🌎HIS HUGS ARE THE BEST, HIS LAUGH IS THE BEST AND HE HAS A HEART💓OF GOLD I'LL ALWAYS BE HIS BABY DAUGHTER AND MY BROTHERS ARE TWO OF THE CRAZIEST BROTHERS A GIRL COULD HAVE THEY TAUGHT ME A LOT ABOUT EVERYTHING AND WAS ALWAYS THERE WHEN I NEEDED THEM AND I PROMISE I'LL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR THEM TO MY FRIENDS AND CLASSMATES DON'T FORGET TO SMILE AND ENJOY YOUR LIFE YOU CAN DO ANYTHING IF YOU FOCUS AND REMEMBER TO BE HAPPY BEING WHO YOU ARE I'LL BE AROUND YOU PAYTON💓

💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞

CHRISTINA MAUSER SAYS, TO MY HUSBAND MATT, YOU ARE THE LIGHT IN MY EYES THAT PEOPLE SEE, THE JOY IN MY HEART IN THE PICTURES OF OUR FAMILY THAT PEOPLE AROUND US SEE AND ONE OF THE BEST THINGS THEY EVER HEARD WAS [HOW MUCH YOU LOVED💕ME] AND OUR ADORABLE KIDS! THEIR LOVE💓FOR US AND OURS FOR THEM WILL BE KEPT IN YOUR LOVING💓HEARTS💓AND IN MY SPIRIT FOR ALL TIME YOU ALWAYS PROTECTED US, THE MAN OF MY DREAMS COME TRUE DON'T YOU WORRY ROUGH TIMES MAY COME AND GO BUT TEACH OUR KIDS THAT GOD💫IS ONLY A PRAYER🙏AWAY! MATT, REMEMBER EACH TIME THAT YOU ENJOY THEIR FUNNY LAUGHTER I'LL BE THEIR AS WELL BABE.

💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞

ARA ZOBAYAN SAYS, 👁GOD💫THANK YOU FATHER FOR ALL I HAD ON EARTH MY BLESSED FAMILY OF FRIENDS AND MY BLESSED FRIENDS LIKE FAMILY YOU GAVE ME SO MUCH ALLOWED ME TO SEE AND DO SO MUCH WHILE INSIDE MY EARTHLY BODY THE GIFT TO TEACH AND LEARN FROM OTHERS, THE FAITH💫TO KNOW I COULD SUCCEED IN MY LIFE AND YOU KNOW MY FATHER✝ I COULD NOT AND WOULD NOT EVER PUT ANYONE'S PRECIOUS LIFE IN DANGER! I'VE TOLD PEOPLE WHEN ASKED, IF I WAS FEARFUL OF FLYING, THAT I RELIED ON YOU AND EXPERIENCE, ONLY A FEW KNOW OF THIS OUT OF THE MANY GREAT PEOPLE I'VE KNOWN! WHAT HAPPENED WAS TRULY UNFORTUNATE BUT YOU HAVE SHOWN ME, THAT WHAT WAS TO BE WAS TO BE, BECAUSE IT WAS WRITTEN BY YOU AND YOUR HOLY💫WISDOM FOR ALL THINGS THAT HAPPEN ARE FOR A REASON AND I THANK YOU GOD💫FOR ALLOWING ME TO SHARE MY SPIRITUAL💫WORDS TODAY TO ALL THE PEOPLE I'VE LOVED AND ENJOYED THROUGHOUT MY ENTIRE LIFE ON EARTH NOW MY SPIRITUAL💫JOURNEY💫BEGINS. TO MY FAMILY YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE KNOW THAT I LOVE💓YOU AND WILL BE WATCHING OVER YOU, ARA!

💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞

GIGI BRYANT#2 SAYS, TOO MY BIG SISTER NATALIA💜YOU ARE MY BLESSING💫COME TRUE, THE ENFORCER WHEN MOMMY😇 AND DADDY😇WASN'T AROUND, I DIDN'T LIKE IT BUT YOU DID IT TO TEACH ME RIGHT FROM [WRONG] LIKE THEY TAUGHT YOU BUT SOMETIMES YOU DID IT WHEN THEY WERE AROUND, OH NO I DON'T THINK SO! YOU, MADE ME LAUGH THE HARDEST YOU TAUGHT ME💜 HOW TO GIGGLE😝LAUGH WHICH IS BETTER TO ENJOY! WE DID THE SISTER THANG TOGETHER BECAUSE WE LOVED💕SOME OF THE SAME THINGS AND EVEN THOUGH WE HAD DISAGREEMENTS LIKE SISTERS DO I ALWAYS HAD YOUR BACK AND YOU ALWAYS HAD MY BACK TOO!

AS YOU MOVE ON WITHOUT ME BEING THERE PHYSICALLY YOU ALREADY KNOW BECAUSE WE SPEAK IN HOLY💫SPIRIT NOW I'LL ALWAYS BE WITH YOU AND JUGHEAD BIANKA💜AND PRINCESS💗CAPRI💜OF COURSE BIANKA💜IS OUR FEISTY PRINCESS TOO ALWAYS BOSSY BUT I GUESS I WAS THAT WAY TOO YOU. DON'T FORGET DAD😇WILL ALWAYS BE WITH ALL YOU AND JUST REMEMBER WHAT HE AND MOM😇TAUGHT US, TO ALWAYS WORK HARD AND I KNOW YOU WILL, AS [WE WATCH] YOU GROW INTO THE SUCCESS GOD💫HAS PLANNED FOR YOU IN LIFE✝ AND I'LL BE THERE BECAUSE [I] LOVE💓YOU AND YOU LOVE💓ME TOO! TO ALL OF MY CLOSE SISTER FRIENDS AND ALL MY CLASSMATES AND TEACHERS THANK YOU FOR BEING A PART OF MY WONDERFUL LIFE✝ REMEMBER 👁GOD💫IS ALWAYS WATCHING EVERYTHING WE DO!!! BE NICE TO EACH OTHER GIANNA BRYANT#2

💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞

KOBE#8 'THE BLACK MAMBA' BRYANT#24

TO 🏀LAKERNATION🏀AROUND THE WORLD YOU ARE, HAVE BEEN AND WILL ALWAYS BE MY FAMILY🙏YOUR INSPIRATIONAL WORDS OVER MY MANY BLESSED✝ YEARS OF LIFE✝ MOTIVATED ME TO BECOME MORE OF A BETTER PLAYER, BETTER FATHER AND A BETTER AND WISER HUSBAND! THE PAIN OF EACH DISAPPOINTING LOSS WE WENT THROUGH [TOGETHER] BROUGHT US SO MUCH CLOSER TOGETHER ESPECIALLY WHEN WE AS 🏀LAKERNATION🏀HAD TO REBUILD INSTEAD OF RELOADING LIKE WE WERE ACCUSTOMED TOO! EVEN THOUGH THE TEARS HAVE FALLEN AND MORE WILL FOLLOW JUST KNOW THAT I UNDERSTAND THEY ARE A DEEP APPRECIATION FOR ME✝ AND GIGI✝ AND OUR BASKETBALL FAMILY WHO WERE ON THE HELICOPTER SUNDAY.

GOD💫ALLOWED US TO SHARE SOMETHING VERY SPECIAL AND WONDERFUL WHICH IS A BIG PART OF OUR LIVES AND I HOPE THAT YOU ARE GRATEFUL I KNOW I AM AND WILL ALWAYS BE!!! THERE IS SO MANY BLESSED [PEOPLE] I'D LIKE TO THANK BUT NONE AS INTELLIGENT, BEAUTIFUL AND STRONG AS MY DEVOTED LOVING💓ANGELQUEEN👑 VANESSA💗MOTHER✝OF OUR [FOUR] VERY 🙏BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS💗DAUGHTERS🙏WHO BROUGHT THE GREATEST JOY TO MY BLESSED✝ AND GIFTED✝ LIFE✝ AS ME AND GIGI WATCH OVER THEM AS THEY GROW UP I KNOW THAT NO MATTER WHERE THEY GO IN [THE BLESSED CITY OF ANGELS😇] ALL OF 🏀LAKERNATION🏀WILL HAVE [THEIR BACKS] AS YOU ALWAYS DID FOR ME, MAN, [I] LOVE💓Y'ALL, YOU'RE THE BEST FANS EVER AND I THANK 👁GOD💫FOR YOU!!! AND TO MY TWO BEAUTIFUL SISTERS SHARIA😇AND SHAYA😇YOU ALWAYS MADE SURE THAT I KNEW I WAS LOVED💓GIVING ME ADVISE ON MANY THINGS NEEDED YOUR LOVE💓I WILL ALWAYS CHERISH. TRUST I'LL BE WATCHING OVER YOU TWO AND THE FAMILY LOOK FOR MY SPIRITUAL💫SIGNS💫LOVE💓YOU!!!

[TO ALL MY NBA BASKETBALL BROTHERS] I'M SO VERY PROUD OF ALL YOU GUYS FOR CARRYING ON THE TRADITION LEFT TO US BY GREATS WHO KNEW THE GAME, STUDIED THE GAME, BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY THEY WORKED HARD OFF THE COURT TO REALLY ACHIEVE SUCCESS ON THE COURT! THERE ARE TOO NAMES TO MENTION BUT THOSE OF YOU WHO KNEW ME, KNOW HOW I FEEL [JERRY] YOU SAW SOMETHING IN ME THAT EXCEEDED THE VISION I HAD DEEP INSIDE MYSELF EVEN AS A TEENAGER AND I DO THANK YOU FOREVER MY SECOND DAD✝ WITHOUT QUESTION. MAGIC, MY IDOL, MY BIG BRO EVEN THOUGH I TOLD YOU THANK YOU MANY TIMES FOR OUR VERY DEEP CONVERSATIONS YOU HELPED SHARPEN MY TOOLS AND FOCUS FOR BASKETBALL AND MY LIFE✝ BEYOND BASKETBALL🏀KAREEM, LET ME SAY, OUR TALKS WERE ALWAYS INSPIRATIONAL I JUST TRIED TO LISTEN AND SOAK UP AS MUCH AS I COULD THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS BEING THERE, GOD💫THERE ARE SO MANY OTHERS LIKE MY COACH IN HIGH SCHOOL AND ALL OF MY TEAMMATES THERE AND IN THE NBA [I] STILL SAY ME✝ AND SHAQ'S😇SQUAD COULD HAVE [BEATEN] THE SHOWTIME LAKERS SQUAD MY BROTHERS BIG GAME, COOP AND B-SCOTT KNOW THE TALKS WE HAD LOL😄THANK Y'ALL FOR THE LOVE💓AND GUIDANCE AND GIVING THE SAME TO OUR CURRENT LAKERS [I ASK ALL] OF MY DEDICATED FANS TO SUPPORT LEBRON🏀 AND ANTHONY🏀AND OUR TEAM AS THEY FOCUS THEIR PROFESSIONAL TALENTS ON REPRESENTING [THE CITY OF ANGELS😇] ON THEIR QUEST TO BRING A TITLE BACK TO OUR CITY!!! NO HATERS, WE NEED THE TRUE POSITIVE SPIRIT💫OF ALL LAKERS FANS TO HELP UPLIFT THEIR SPIRITS💫

TO THE BUSS😇 FAMILY [YOU MEAN] SO MUCH TO ME, YOUR FATHER, DR. BUSS😇WAS BEHIND ME 100% AND TAUGHT ME SO MUCH AND I LOOK FORWARD TO TALKS WITH HIM LATER HERE IN HEAVEN💫AS I'VE ALREADY HEARD FROM WILT AND GEORGE THAT [CHICK AND JERRY] CAN'T WAIT TO SCHOOL THE NEWEST ANGEL ROOKIE! LOL

TO HEADANGELQUEEN👑JEANIE BUSS😇MERE WORDS CAN'T DESCRIBE HOW I FEEL YOU'RE MORE THAN A SAVY BEAUTIFUL BUSINESSWOMAN YOUR SIMPLY A CLASS ACT TO BE RECKONED WITH AND DUE MORE CREDIT THAN WHAT PEOPLE GIVE YOU I'LL BE WATCHING OVER OUR LAKERS TEAM🏀ALONG WITH YOU AND ROB AND OUR FANS WHO ARE ONCE AGAIN UNITED AND EAGER FOR A MEGA LAKERS🏀DAY🌅PARADE AND CELEBRATION🎉CHANTING I LOVE💜LA💛

LASTLY, TO MY PARENTS JOE AND PAM YOU LOVED💓ME UNCONDITIONALLY AS ME AND VANESSA😇NATALIA😇GIGI😇BIANKA😇AND LITTLE CAPRI😇LOVED💓YOU, GOD💫GAVE US TO EACHOTHER FOR A REASON AND FOR THAT I AM FOREVER GRATEFUL!

🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

PLEASE CELEBRATE🎉ALL OF OUR LIVES🎉

TRUST OBEYING GODS💫ANGELS MATTER 👁GODS💫PLANS WILL NOT BE STOPPED!!!

BLACK MAMBA#24🏀MAMBACITA#2🏀OUT!

👉POSTED TUESDAY 1/28/20 333PM PST👈

IF I HAVE MISSPELLED ANY WORDS I DO APOLOGIZE ITS TIME FOR ME TO WIND DOWN BLESSINGS4 FOR ALL OF THE FAMILY MEMBERS WHO LOST A LOVED ONE!

👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁 👉JOHN BOLTON SHOULD BE CALLED TO👈TESTIFY IMMEDIATELY BECAUSE IN HIS NEW BOOK [DAMING INFORMATION] IN IT BLOWS APART DEMONTRUMPS👹DEFENSE!!!

JOHN BOLTON HAS SAID, [HE IS READY] TO TESTIFY!!! WHAT IS DEMONTRUMP👹AFRAID OF? AMERICANS🇺🇸KNOW IT IS THE TRUTH!!!

THE AMERICAN🇺🇸PEOPLE DEMAND THAT HE TESTIFY [LIVE] AND HIS NOTES📝SEEN!

👉GODSHEADANGEL.POSTHAVEN.COM👈

👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁

👁GODSAYS💫THE GOP SENATORS SWORE ON MY HOLY💫NAME✝

I AM HE✝ THY 👁GOD💫SHALL WATCH WHO STANDS UP FOR ME!!! FOR SURELY THEIR VERY SOULS DEPEND ON THEIR ACTIONS!!!

👉THESE TRULY ARE THE LAST END DAYS👈👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹

AS ALL AMERICANS🇺🇸PREDICTED THE EVIL GOP👹SENATE BLOCKED WITNESSES FROM COMING FORWARD WITH THE TRUTH NO DOUBT THEY LIKE DEMONTRUMP👹ARE CORRUPT!!! IN NOVEMBER AMERICANS🇺🇸WILL CLEAN UP THE🗑THE GOP SENATE!!!🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷

👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹

😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇

HEAVENLY💫ANGEL WAR SHIP STARNEISHA MADE HER APPEARANCE IN THE EARLY🌅 WEDNESDAY MORNING🌅HOUR OF 5:58AM OVER THE VAN NUYS SKIES🌌I WILL POST THAT VIDEO FRIDAY🌄! SHE SHALL GET CLOSER THURSDAY EARLY🌅MORNING BUT WE FOCUS ON THE [CITY OF ANGELS😇] HEALING RIGHT NOW LORDHAVEMERCY💫

😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇

👁GODSAYS💫MY CHILDREN OF MY WORLD UNDERSTAND THAT THE GIFT✝ OF GIVING💫

FROM YOUR HEART💓IS THERAPY💫FOR YOUR SOULS AND REAL HAPPINESS FOR YOUR SPIRIT💫 IF THOU, CAN SPARE WHAT I HAVE BLESSED✝ YOU WITH TO DONATE TO 👉THE FAMILIES OF THOSE LOST SUNDAY ALONG WITH MY TWO SPECIAL💫ANGELS💫 GIGI✝ AND KOBE✝ SURELY I WILL BLESS YOU WHEN THOU ARE IN NEED! SURELY I AM HE, THY LIVING 👁GOD💫DO SO TEST THOSE OF YOU [MY CREATED CHILDREN] FOR SURELY YOU MIGHT ASK YOURSELVES THIS OR THAT OR WHY THIS OR WHY THAT, TRULY IT DOES NOT MATTER FOR I ASK IT OF YOU!!! TRUST THINGS ARE NOT ALWAYS AS THEY APPEAR FOR, TRULY ALL MY ANGELS DO WHAT I SAY!

📖📖📖📖📖LUKE 10:30-37KJV📖📖📖📖📖

THE GOOD SAMARITAN JESUS SPOKE OF!!!

[MAMBAONTHREE.ORG] DONATED IF U CAN

📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖

👁GOD💫IS ALWAYS TOTALLY IN CHARGE!!!

🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷

👉GODSHEADANGEL.POSTHAVEN.COM👈

😇WAR SHIP BAYSHARA👽IN VAN NUYS, CA 👽RECORDED ABOUT 10+ MONTHS AGO👽

THE OBEDIENT ONES OF OUR 👁GOD💫THE SPIRITUALLY💫AWAKENED🌄WORLDWIDE SPEAK [TRUTH REALITY] THE ONES CALLED

[NONBELIEVERS] IN THE CITY OF VAN NUYS SEE BUT STILL DO NOT BELIEVE IN HIS HOLY POWER!!! [THE BELIEVERS] IN THAT CITY DO [KNOW AND SPEAK IT] THAT 👁GOD💫IS IN TOTAL CONTROL OF VAN NUYS, CALIFORNIA AND EVERYWHERE ELSE IN THE UNIVERSES HE✝ DID SO CREATE!!!

STOP🛑UNDERESTIMATING OUR 👁GOD💫FOR THE ARE CLOAKED DAY AND NIGHT!!!!!

🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷FRIDAY JANUARY 31TH 2020 0520HRS PST ⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳THE HOLY💫MASTER DID SAY UNTO HIS✝ POWERFUL STUDENT✝ CLEARLY MORE OF THEM ARE [SO STUNNED AND TERRIFIED] [THAN ACTUALLY STRONG] IN FAITH💫FOR SURELY ALL HEAVENLY ANGEL WAR SHIPS [CLOCKED OR UNCLOAKED] HOVERING IN THE DAYLIGHT🌅AND MOONLIGHT🌕SKIES WILL SO [ATTACK] UPON ALL THE MARKED DEMONS👹IN [FLESH] IN VAN NUYS, CA. AND WORLDWIDE🌎AND NO ONE ELSE!!!

YET, [OBEDIENT ONE'S NEED NOT WORRY] BUT SURELY MANY [EVEN THEM] HAD A SHOCKED LOOK UPON THEIR FACES OH YES

TRULY, [THE POWERFUL SPIRIT💫MOVING] [TRUTH REALITY VIDEO] OF BAYSHARA👽 SEEN OVER THE NIGHT🌌SKIES IN THE CITY OF VAN NUYS WITH OUR [ANGELS] MOVING INTO [FORMATION] AS CLOUDS☁30SECS INTO [THE TRUTH REALITY VIDEO] BEFORE THEY CAME TOGETHER AND FORMED THE ANGEL WAR SHIP BAYSHARA👽 WITH 6 WHITE LIGHTS MAKING [THEIR PRESENCE] [FELT AND SEEN] BEFORE CLOAKING BACK TO INVISIBILITY!!!

SO, IT IS HEAVENLY💫WISDOM💫NOT TOO POST [THE TRUTH REALITY] OF THE VERY DISTURBING VIDEO OF THE STARNEISHA👽FORMING OVER THE EARLY PREDAWN🌅 VAN NUYS SKIES🌌FOR SURELY SHE FORMS IN WAYS THAT WOULD CAUSE MANY NOT TO [SLEEP FOR DAYS🌅]

THE BAYSHARA👽[TERRIFIED ALL ENOUGH] BUT KNOW THIS TRUTH [IF] A DAY COMETH OR NIGHT FALLETH THAT THEY DISOBEY ME THY LIVING SPIRITUAL💫GOD💫BEFORE MY NEARING HOLY💫BIGSIGN✝ COMES I SHALL UNLEASH THEM UPON THAT CITY WHEN THEY LEAST EXPECT IT AS THEY WAG THEIR EVIL👹TONGUES!!!

LOOK AT THE [RED] VERY POWERFUL LIGHT BEHIND THE BAYSHARA👽BEFORE SHE [DISAPPEARS] THAT IS THE STARNEISHA👽👉THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S COMING!!!👈

TRUST, MY SPIRITUALLY💫AWAKENED🌄THE DEMONS👹IN [FLESH] WILL NEVER OBEY💫MY HOLY💫PLANS💫FOR IT IS JUST A MATTER OF TIME THEY ARE NOT SCARED THEY CLAIM WE SHALL SEE! FOR I AM HE✝

📖📖📖📖📖 [LUKE 21:11 KJV] 📖📖📖📖📖

AND GREAT EARTHQUAKES SHALL BE IN 📖📖DIVERS PLACES, AND FAMINES, AND📖 PESTILENCES; AND FEARFUL SIGHTS SHALL THERE BE FROM HEAVEN💫

📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖

PESTILENCE: A DEADLY EPIDEMIC DISEASE

📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖FEBRUARY 1ST SATURDAY 2020🇺🇸 0730HRS

DEDICATION TO ALL MYANGELQUEENWIVES 👉SEEN GODSHEADANGEL1.POSTHAVEN👈

👁GODS💫HOLY💫PROMISES REVEALED🌅GODSHEADANGEL1.POSTHAVEN PAGES12&3

👉👉THERE IS ONLY 1 WAY!!! GODS WAY👈👈MANY WILL LOSE THEIR LIVES! GOD IS GOD!🤜🤜🤜🤜🤜🤜🤜💀💀💀🤛🤛🤛🤛🤛🤛🤛

GODSAYS💫10,000 DEMONS SHALL PERISH CURRENTLY THE DEATH NUMBER IS 🤜50💀👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁MONDAY FEBRUARY 3RD 2020🇺🇸 1320HRS👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁BLESSINGS4MYSEXYASS💕ANGELWIVES👑💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓

LU PARKER👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣ERIN MYERS👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣KAREEN WYNTER👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣LIBERTE CHAN👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣COURTNEY FRIEL👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣ELLEN LEYVA👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣⬆BEAUTIFULINMESMERIZINGANGELBLACK⬆ SOSEXY🔥WEARING THATANGELICLOOK💫

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

BEVERLY JOHNSON👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣BEAUTIFULINMESMERIZINGANGELHOTRED SOSEXY🔥WEARING THATANGELICLOOK💫

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

TAMRON HALL👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣BEAUTIFULINANGELBROWNANDPOKADOTS SOSEXY🔥WEARING THATANGELICLOOK💫

😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇

UNFORTUNATELY, I CAN ONLY POST THESE ANGEL NAMES TODAY. IF, I MISSED YOU PLEASE FORGIVE ME BUSY IN HOLY SPIRIT

~YOUR👑HEADANGELKINGHUSBANDRAY👑

[a-dreamer-named-mars]

Imagine Jamie Meeting His and Eddie's Daughter

The incessant sound of the beeping machines were messing with the electric synapses in his brain, Jamie Reagan is sure of it. He's damn sure that by the time he leaves the hospital he's not gonna be able to hear anything, although he doesn't know when that will be.

Seven hours and two minutes. That's exactly how long it took for Meghan Janko Reagan to come into the world and bless her parents' lives with her existence.

The feeling of guilt eats him inside as he takes a few more steps around the room where his wife is resting after such a hard, prolonged labor on her own, by herself, all alone. He takes a good look at her and notices her tired expression, her frown and her closed eyes and thinks she's probably going to kill him once she wakes up and sees him, confronting him about what happened and asking him why on earth he wasn't there for her, holding her hand, supporting her through the whole process.

And the feeling of guilt rises in his chest again, his throat constricting at the thought of purely being honest with her - he was working. He was working and missed the birth of child because of it. Damn it. This job has already taken so many things and so many people away from him, and now it took the unique experience of seeing your wife bring your daughter into the world.

Beep. Beep.

He looks at the monitor where the annoying sound is coming from and relaxes once he reads her heart rate - 122.

He bents down to kiss her temple before leaving the room to go check on his little girl who was staying in the NICU for the night, solely for observation. Once she was born the doctors checked her out, everything was fine with the exception that she needed suction after breathing in some liquids through the process, and turns out, her small lungs didn't enjoy the intervention and so she was sent to the Intensive Care Unit in an incubator.

"You're the father?" The words register in his mind and he turns around to meet the nurse in pink scrubs.

"Yeah. How is she?" He asked so fast, too him still not fast enough. The worried expression in his face fading once he noticed the professional smiling.

"Meghan's doing great. She really was struggling in the beginning but she's doing fine now. I suggest we take her to her mom's room and let her meet her, properly. What'd you think?"

He felt a few tears burn in his eyes but he blinked repeatedly in order to keep them at bay before sharing a small smile and nodding in agreement.

"Yes. Sure, let's go."

* * *

"Jamie?" Eddie's voice was barely audible, her head was feeling heavy and she closed her eyes before opening them again, gathering her thoughts for a little while.

"Hey, Ed. How are you feeling?"

"Tired." She replied with a loud sigh.

"I got someone here to meet you." He said with a smile as he turned to the side, showing her their girl laying on the little hospital crib, looking so peaceful, probably feeling as tired as her mother was.

"Oh my..." Eddie whispered as she looked at her baby for the first time. After those long seven hours and two minutes she only got to take a glimpse at her but failed to actually see her since the newborn was surrounded by doctors and nurses and tubes, and eventually she was taken away.

The blonde rested her palms on the hospital bed, on either side of her body and propped up, changing to a sitting position, yearning to feel the touch, the contact with her daughter.

Jamie picked her up and held her in chest carefully before placing her on Eddie's arms.

"Hi princess..." She whispered as she looked down on her arms, admiring her daughter, unable to direct her gaze away from the baby who immediately nuzzled in her chest. "Jamie, I was so scared, they took her away from me and it all happened so quickly... I-How is she?"

"She's doing great. They kept her in the unit for observation but she's good now. You know, looking at her right now makes me think all she ever needed was her mom holding her."

"She is so perfect, have you looked at her?"

"Yeah... She is perfect. She's exactly like you.  A perfect copy."

"We're so blessed, Jamie... Oh my God. We're so blessed."

A silence filled the room and Jamie took the opportunity to apologize. It was probably not the right time now, but he needed to get that out of his chest.

"I'm sorry." He said, his words catching her attention and making her look up at the so familiar baby blues.

"I was really scared."

He expected something, anything, but not that. Those four words cut him inside like a knife. If he was being honest, he'd much rather have her scream at his face, he was pretty sure it wouldn't hurt him as much.

"I-I can only imagine. I am really sorry."

"Why didn't you come when I texted you?"

"I was... working. It was a hostage situation. It got bad, I was unable to leave the building for three hours and that was only until the back up team showed for one of the guys. The other one was holding a gun to my head the whole time until SWAT arrived."

An audible gasp came from Eddie's mouth and he regretted telling her the whole thing immediately, knowing it worried her and she's had enough of concern for one day alone.

"Are you okay?" She asked, and he could tell by the look in her eyes that he had all of her heart and her forgiveness.

"Yeah, I-I am fine. I am perfect, this is the happiest day of my life."

It was whirlwind of emotions for him as well - twelve hours ago he thought he might never get to see the love of his life again or meet his daughter. Of all his days on the job, today had been the one that had really scared him and had him question everything he knew about wanting to be a cop. Risking his life? Risk losing the most important day of his life? Risk abandoning his wife when she needed him the most?

He knew that telling Eddie the whole story of what had happened to him and the reason why he couldn't come to the hospital when she had asked him to was going to do something to her, she was going to be worried, and she was going to understand and she was going to forgive him.

He did want that, but he still felt like he was cheating by telling her the events of the day knowing it would trigger something in her and it would get him of the hook easily. But at the same time there was no way he could lie to his Eddie - their relationship was based on honesty and trust.

"I really wanted to be here, Ed. I did."

"I know." She nodded with a smile. "That's all water under the bridge now, we got her with us." She lifted her arms a little, showing him Meghan up close.

He bent down to kiss the girl's forehead, causing her to shift a little in her mom's arms before smashing his lips against Eddie's in a soft, gentle and passionate kiss.

"We got all we need."

* * *

Author's Note: Hey readers! I know it's been a long time since I've written an imagine but oh well, here it is! I hope you liked it and stay tuned for more 'cause I still got quite the list of the last time y'all made a request 😉

I was working on Far From The Shallow - A Star Is Born Fanfiction that is now finished so go read it if you haven't and enjoy!

Anyway, as always please vote, comment, share this story with your friends, add it to your reading list or just follow me to never miss an update!

💥 BIG NEWS 💥 : I am working on my very first original story, this one is all me and it's the first time I'm putting my ideas from scratch out there so please help a girl out and read it please, and hopefully if you like it, click on the star, leave a comment share the story, whatever you want - "The Missing Gem" is what it's called and if you like love, hearts getting broken and fixed, little coincidences that are too good to be true, this is the story for you! 💘

Xoxo, Mars

[imagine-that-one-thing]

If you’re reading this.

Authors Note: Hello, my lovelies. Here is a little something I came up with when I first saw the picture. 

This is an AU where Harry - Aka Alex is off at War. -Insipred by Dunkirk.-

You can find my other Blurbs HERE

I have kept all the letters, the good, the bad, the oppressed and the loving. It goes unsaid that most of them have a marking of my tears soaked into them, both from happiness and sadness — for the love of my life has been taken from me in what would be the cruellest yet most understanding way one could be taken. 

The circumstances are different from any under which I ever wrote before, mainly because his letters have become more distant and shorter, which I understand, after all, he is stuck in trenches and godforsaken areas, while I stay in London safe and sound. 

Oh, I wish it was me even though how ignorant that may be. 

Only God in Heaven knows who will come out of this thing alive. I pray every day my love Alex comes home to me, safe and sound.

Oh, how I love Alex and as I sit here waiting, I wonder what he is doing, how he is doing and where he is. I cannot help it as I naturally have a caring nature. But, it is true, he is the love of my life and to lose him would be to lose myself. It is hard enough sitting waiting and not knowing. When he reaches me there will be no other happier place on earth.

They used to say we were crazy and crazy we may be, sincerely, crazily in love. 

The moment he departed, I was physically extracted from him, the tips of my fingers still feel the material of his uniform the day he left. I still feel the haste of the crisp air and the racket of thousands of lovers saying their last goodbyes. I can still inhale the scent of the ocean and the noise of the boats, most of all, I can still hear the character of the men's boots boarding the boats and waving their last salutes. 

I promised to write every moment I could and he promised to come back safely. 

I still remember the way the conversation went. 

April the 6th, 1940.

London.

I shivered between the grips of his arms as he held me closer and caressed a kiss to the top of my head, words struggling to form between us as I did my best to hold back the tears that desperately wanted to cascade. “Promise to write to me, darling?” his voice was soft as I felt his chest vibrate. 

I lifted my head off of his chest and glanced up at him, his enrapturing, loam-grey eyes staring adoringly at me. 

I nodded my head, “I promise to write and to fill each word with every loving sentiment.” I assured him with a petite smile, “promise me to come home.” My demand is soft and breaks my heart because in the back of my mind there is that deathly fear of him not coming home. 

He let out a breath and stared up for a moment, holding back his own tears. I know I am asking too much to ask for such a promise, but I needed to hear it even if it may be a lie. “Allie, my love, I cannot promise that.” 

“Please?”

He swallowed hard and I felt his arms tighten as the breeze got sharper, “my darling, I promise to come home in one shape or form. I have a letter. I am not to post it but will leave it in my pocket, if anything happens to me someone will perhaps post it. My darling, I promise to always be with you.” He informed me with such a sweet tone, the pad of his thumb managing to wipe away the tears that had fallen so delicately. 

“I liked it better when  war was just a game we played when we were kids, oh how I wish things could change, Alex.”

He nodded. “I know, Allie... I know.” ... “If anything happens, I want you to move on and find someone else.”

“No.” I shook my head.

“Sh.” Alex hushed me by kissing my achy lips, “my darling, I could never live with myself if you did not move on from me. As selfish as I am, I could never do that. My love, I give my blessing for you to move on, God forbid he takes me to fly with the angels.” He whispered just for the two of us to hear as he rested his forehead against mine. “I love you, Allie.”

“I love you, Alex,” I said through tears before we shared our last kiss before we were forced apart. 

The moment my grip shifted from the material of his uniform my heart shattered. He wiped a tear from his cheek before turning around and following the other men who were forced to give their lives to save our own. 

May the 2nd, 1940

France.

‘My very dear Allie:

They’re declaring that we shall move in a few days-perhaps tomorrow. It has become a common thing to move around. Lest I should not be able to write you again, I am grieved. It is becoming harder to write as each day goes by over here, my sweetheart. Just a few lines dear to tell you I am still here, although, I cannot disclose just where ‘here’ is, — perhaps the land of the living— seems more deeming and pleasant to call it. There has been a bit of a fuss over the young ones this week. They have been trying to get in the Army unbeknown to their parents. Goodfellas they are. I am keeping well, as well as can be. I am trusting you are the same, dear Allie. I have just accepted your letters sweetheart and was very pleased to get them. They came rather more punctual this time for it only took seven days, possibly eight, been a bit tired and lost count. Carrier pigeon has grown a liking for your handwriting, he greets me with your letters, says, “your Sugar report has arrived.” It is about the most amusment we all share. 

Your letters are what get me through, oh how they do. I wonder how your family are getting on sweetheart, miss them quite profoundly. Don't think, Allie, I am worrying unnecessarily about you... well... I am, as always, but I know you are well and safe. P.S. Cheer up my love and don't worry about me. I am quite alright. I wish I could give you one more kiss.

Goodnight my darling. Longing and hoping for a letter from you tomorrow. Xxxx

— Alex.’

His letters always appear to find their way to cheering me up despite how the world seems to be so grave right now, we are all at war with each other and I hope that one day it all ends and peace finds itself buried between all of us. I desperately want to go back to when we would sit in the garden for hours just talking and figuring out little things about each other. 

Oh, how I would give anything for one warm day in the garden with him, his hand running through my hair as I lay in his lap with nothing to worry about besides how our life will someday plan out if all went well. I never once thought I would feel heartbreak without breaking up with the man, but this, this abomination of a world has given me my first heartbreak. My heart cracks every day he is over there, half the time I don’t know where he is… the papers don’t even have much information to give us, his letters have to stay very vague on where his location is… it kills me every day not knowing whether he is alive or not. 

I wipe away a tear as I take in the brisk air and put ink to paper, composing what feels like the hundredth letter to the love of my life. I am starting to wonder if he is even reading them or if they are getting lost in this thing called war. 

May the 21st, 1940.

London.

'My Dearest Alex:

I feel I must write to you again darling, altho there is not much news to report to you. Nothing new has befallen since I last wrote: May the 12th. Just a bit of lost wondering. I write to you, Alex, in the garden. It is a bit chilly but positively lovely. I am resting under the tree only about 10 yards away from where we sat together by the fountain before we danced under the night of a thousand stars. It was a very great surprise and even a shock when you told me you loved me that night. I had not the slightest idea you were going to tell me so then. I am still amazed by your love. I am always relieved to get a letter from you, they make the darkest of days brighter. I always wonder how you are over there and whether you are getting the letters. I shall be so relieved when you reply again. Of course, I know you will write as soon as you can, I’m just anxious, darling. It is hard to sit here not knowing how you are or where you are in the world. I miss you, to say the least, we all do. My heart aches with every longing day that passes and you don't write. My heart aches the longer you are gone.  Time seems so dull and weary without you here wearing that smile of yours, part of me is missing. I wait for the day war is over so you will be home again... for us to be together again. They don’t tell us much about what is happening anymore, it is mostly a ghost town without the news of what is happening. I love and miss you with all my heart.

Well, darling, I don't know much more to say now, so will close with fondest love and kisses, xx

— Allie

I spent the last few weeks staring out the window, waiting for the next letter from Alex to arrive… It seemed like it was never coming and to be honest, I feared the worst had happened.. I had spent most the nights crying my eyes out and praying for the best while reminding myself of all the things Alex used to tell me before he left… He would be so disappointed to know I have spent countless hours writhing and crying over him. 

I can’t help it. 

I just want him to hang up his boots and put down his gun and come home to me. I know I sound selfish, I know I sound ignorant and probably heartless, but all I want is for my love to safe and sound while back home. 

I don’t want him fighting for his life, for our country. 

I don’t want him miles and miles away. I don’t want him struggling or in pain. I don't want war. I don’t want any of this. I never thought I would live in this world where another War would take part… I remember my Dad would tell me how would have to leave for times on end and suddenly come home before being forced back out. I was born just a two and a half years into the first World War, 1917. Of course, I don’t remember anything but what my parents have told me about the time. My Mother has informed me countless times how she survived the years my Dad was in and out of fighting for the country. She still has all his letters and he has every single letter she ever sent him— they both go back and reread the letters at times when they feel they are slipping from each other. It is quite lovely to watch. 

The moment I see the familiar man at my door, I hurry off the seat and swing the door open, clenching the letter between my fingers and holding it to my chest. 

He is alive, he is okay. 

Thank God.

May the 29th, 1940.

Dunkerque.

‘My very dear Allie:

Just a few lines I can manage, my love. I am regretful that I have yet to write. At last, I am able to answer your letter. The arrival at Dunkerque has been of the toughest.  Operation Dynamo…  I still cannot fathom what has arisen and speak of it. My sweetheart, we have spent hours on the beach at Dunkerque.  After quite some time— time I was unaware of survival would bare me strength— I am cheerful to be on the way back to safer land, exhausted, muddy, (you'd say I was filthy), but not beaten. We are going on to Aldershot and someday, I expect to get leave. I shall one day lift you in my arms and hold you close, perhaps one day you will be mine again to kiss and cherish. One day we will live in a world safer than this, where even daisies grow in the sullenest of places. My darling, Allie, we will unite again, someday soon, I hope. I desire to hold you and never let you go. My sweet, Allie, when I arrive — if I shall arrive home to you — I shall get down on my good knee and tell you how dearly I love you in person and ask for your hand in marriage. I had not wanted to do it during the war, as I felt it was selfish of me to wed you and leave, but I cannot wait any longer. My next leave, my darling, I shall be yours, once and for all.

Well, darling, I don’t know any more to say now and I am feeling drowsy. Oh, I wish I was there with you my darling. I love you dearly.

All the love. xxxx

— Alex.

My heart sinks when I read the date, this letter is a month old and I can’t help but feel myself collapse into a panic of worry… His letters have never been this late and I guess I lost myself and forgot how long it had been since I saw his fresh handwriting on paper. I place the letter on the kitchen table and sit in front of it, my heart falling far into my chest as I try to breathe and control the tears that are pouring from my cheeks. 

I knew it would be hard, I did. But I did not know it would be this hard. The idea of not knowing is what kills the most. I promised him I wouldn’t worry too much, but I cannot put into words how incredibly troublesome it is not too. Especially when the papers are telling us of all the corrupt that has been going on. 

My tears descend onto the paper and through glossy eyes, I stare at the words trying to find the courage to muster up hope, hope for him, us and this cruel world we live in. 

“Oh, Alex. I miss you so damn much.” I breathe out while his words are perfectly matched to the paper. “Please be okay.” 

I feel a touch to my shoulder, one that I know all too well, but I ignore it as a delusion of something I hope to feel while I am deep into the words in the letter. 

“Allie, my darling.” I hear his voice and as I read the words and it takes me a moment, “sweetheart,” his voice whispers, shivers falling down my back. 

It’s him… He’s here. 

I turn and he is beside me, standing in his uniform, a bit dirty and scruffy as he gives me a small smile, “I’m home,” his voice breaks while his enchanting, clay-grey eyes meet mine for the first time in what feels like a lifetime. 

I take a breath as I stand to my feet, my body shaking, my lips trembling as they try to find words for him. 

He is home, he is safe… Please, God, tell me this is not some dream. Please, God, tell me this is real. 

“Is this real?” I breathe out, his hand cupping the side of my face and catching a few tears, his head cocking to the side while his eyes absorb every feature of me. 

He nods, “It’s real.” His voice is unsteady before I fall into him, my arms wrapping around him, “Oh, darling, careful.” he breathes and I loosen my grip around him as his hand presses to the back of my head and his arm wraps around me comfortably. 

“Promise me this is real.” I weep into him, scared that this is a disheartened delusion and I will soon wake up and I won't be in his arms. “Alex, I love you, don’t leave me.”

“I promise it is real. I’m not leaving, my love.” … “I love you, Allie.” 

I draw away from him gingerly, taking in every inch of him. I am forever thankful he made it home, safe and sound. 

He caresses his hand to rest on the back of the chair, holding him up slightly. 

“Alex, sit. What can I get you?” I promptly offer but he shakes his head.

“No, darling… Wait.” He benevolently grabs my hand as I attempt to step away and grab him every possible thing he may need, warm clean clothes, blankets, pillows, anything and I mean anything. I stand in front of him, heartbroken by the tiredness and soreness I can see before me. “Allie, I can't imagine growing old with anyone else, nor do I want to. I  promise you, no one will work harder to make you happy or cherish you more than me. I have loved you since the moment I laid my eyes on you, you have been the best thing that has happened to me, you’re the part of my heart I was missing and the soul I was needing. I never knew what love was until I fell in love with you, if you’re wondering what it is like, it is like waking up on a spring morning to the birds chirping, the sun shining brightly and feeling that first breath of air filling your lungs… Loving you is like finding daisies in a dark place. Let's dance together at our wedding. Will you accept my marriage proposal and allow me to love you until death does us part?” Alex gradually and carefully gets down on one knee while pulling out a small box from his pocket. 

I gaze down at him with all the love in the world and nod my head, “Of course… I wouldn’t want to be so heavenly in love with anyone else.” I murmur as he takes my hand and touches a kiss on it before carefully sliding the ring on my finger. 

I help him back up to his feet and press my hands to cup either side of his cheeks. “I love you, soldier,” I mumble before leaning in and kissing him deeply, sweetly, and loving. 

I have missed the taste of his lips and the sparks that explode between the two of us. 

“I love you, soon to be wife,” Alex mumbles against the taste of my own lips before pulling away. 

The tone of wife leaving his lips puts my heart back together in more ways than anyone could possibly think. 

I clasp my hand to his arm benevolently help him to sit down in the kitchen chair that I was perched in before he wandered in. He lets out a sigh and presses his fingers to the letter on the table. 

He gingerly folds it up and hands it to me with a smile, “Hopefully, darling, it will be the last of our letters.” 

[aarabinfotech]

Why You Don’t Have What You Desire Most

What do you desire most in your life?

Everyone has something—usually more than one something—that they yearn for, dream about or deeply desire. Most of those desires fall in line with the Word of God—financial prosperity, health, family, ministry and all-around success. Yet, so many desires go unfulfilled. Why?

You may already know the basics of what it takes to receive from God:

Faith (believing, speaking right words, putting faith into action)

Obedience (Forgiving, tithing, giving, humility, etc.)

Love (loving others according to 1 Corinthians 13).

But, if you’ve been pursuing each of these (and it does take continual pursuit), and still don’t have what you desire most, you might be wondering, What am I missing?

At the 2020 Southwest Believers’ Convention, Keith Moore brought a powerful word over three days that just might shed some light on what has kept you from crossing the finish line into your promised land.

Here, we’re sharing some key hindrances and faith principles from his teaching to help you discover why you don’t have what you desire most, so you can make a change and turn things around!

DISCOVER THE HIDDEN SECRET OF PRAYER 

1. God Is Not Your ONLY Source

“Yet for us there is [only] one God, the Father, Who is the Source of all things.” –1 Corinthians 8:6 (AMPC)

If you don’t have what you desire most, it’s time to ask some questions.

Who are you relying on to get you what you desire most? Your income? Your connections? The government?

In other words, who or what is your source?

It’s easy to say that God is your Source, but if you suddenly find yourself out of a job—you find out who your source is by the way you respond. If you panic and become stricken with fear, you know you’ve made your job your source. If you’re afraid of losing your job or you search the internet and ask friends for the answer to relationship or health problems, God is not your ONLY source.

Certainly, God uses many channels to help and bless you, but if God is not your ONLY source—the ONLY one you rely on—then your faith is in the wrong place. Without faith, it is impossible to please God. And only when you trust fully in Him will He give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4-5).

2. You Don’t Dream Beyond the Possible

“All things are possible to him who believes.” –Mark 9:23 (NKJV)

Do the things you desire most far exceed what seems possible? Do you allow yourself to believe for things outside what your salary, your circumstances or even your body can accomplish?

If not, you haven’t made God your ONLY source. There are natural limits to everything here on earth, but His means are limitless!

The key to doing this, Keith Moore says, is that “you have to discipline yourself not to try and think of HOW it could happen. Faith is evidence of the unseen.”

What if you’re believing for something and two years pass, five years pass, 10 years pass without it? Well, time is passing anyway, isn’t it? You might as well believe for something in the meantime and do so without wondering if God would actually give it to you.

Keith Moore says, “If the Father was ever going to withhold something and say, ‘That’s too much,’ it would’ve been Jesus. If He was willing to give you Jesus, everything else is small potatoes. Why would He not freely give us all things?”

Watch as Keith Moore shares a powerful example of believing beyond what you think is possible.

DISCOVER THE HIDDEN SECRET OF PRAYER

3. God Is Not Your ONLY Source of Value

“For God bought you with a high price.” –1 Corinthians 6:20

What makes you feel like you have value? Most people have their identity and sense of self-worth attached to something in their life. It can be your appearance, your material belongings or the opinions of others. Many times, people see their value as tied to their profession.

But what happens when those things are no longer there? Who are you? What are you? If tomorrow, you could no longer do what you do professionally, would you lose your value? That’s what happens to pro athletes and celebrities when they are injured or age. All their identity was wrapped up in what they did, instead of who they are, and if they lose what they do, they don’t know who they are anymore.

When God is your ONLY Source of value, you won’t be insecure. You won’t need lots of compliments and pats on the back. You won’t need to be promoted to feel valuable. That’s because you know that your value was set before you were born.

So, the next time the enemy tries to bring a thought to you that you’re not worth much, ask him, “How come the highest price that’s ever been paid for anything was paid for me?”

The economy changes, professions change. But your value never changes. Let God be your ONLY Source of value and your heart will be prepared to receive what you desire most.

DISCOVER THE HIDDEN SECRET OF PRAYER

4. God Is Not Your ONLY Rock

“Only—from his excellency they have consulted to drive away…. Only—for God, be silent, O my soul, For from Him [is] my hope. Only—He [is] my rock and my salvation, My tower, I am not moved.” –Psalm 62:4-6 (YLT)

Some people believe they can’t make it without a particular person—they see that person as their rock. If they lose that person, they don’t feel like they can go on. If that’s how you feel, too much of your heart is given to another person—a place where the Lord should be.

When the Lord has your whole heart, you can make it thorough anything because He is your Rock and the Anchor of your soul. He will always be there. The Lord will NEVER leave you. He will NEVER forsake you. He will NEVER let you down. And you will always be just as valuable to Him as you were when He paid the highest price for you.

When God is your ONLY Rock, you are positioned to have what you desire most because you’ve put Him in the proper place in your life.

DISCOVER THE HIDDEN SECRET OF PRAYER

5. God Is Not Your ONLY Source of Peace

“Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.” –Psalm 20:7 (NIV)

We have experienced some trying times recently—and they continue. In times where the norm is shaken or disrupted, you find out who your source is, who your rock is, where your identity is and where your peace is found.

Do you find your peace in the state of the economy? The DOW? The state of politics? Your supply of toilet paper?

There are only two directions you can look for what you need and desire—to God or to man (including yourself).

Most Christians are shaken to the core and lose their peace when things change because they’ve been relying on man. But that is misplacing faith—taking it from God and giving it to man.

Psalm 20:6-9 shows us that trusting in the wrong thing—trusting in man instead of God—will end in demise. No matter who people are or how wonderful they are—they’re not God. You can’t substitute anyone or anything for God. That place in your heart is exclusively reserved for God ALONE.

Now that doesn’t mean you can’t have confidence in other people, but God alone should have that major place in your heart. Faith in people is optional. Faith in God is not.

And just look at the life of someone who has learned to make God their ONLY Source of peace:

“Blessed are those who trust in the LORD   and have made the LORD their hope and confidence.They are like trees planted along a riverbank,  with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat    or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green,   and they never stop producing fruit” (Jeremiah 17:7-8).

That’s the key to having what you desire most. When God is your everything, you can have anything.

DISCOVER THE HIDDEN SECRET OF PRAYER

6. You’re Forgetting to Give Glory to Whom It Is Due

“Remember the LORD your God. He is the one who gives you power to be successful.” –Deuteronomy 8:18

When your job is going well, you’re prospering, your family is tight and you’re healthy—what do you say when people compliment you?

It’s easy to want to take credit. “Well, we do work hard,” you might say. It sounds innocent enough, but if you’re forgetting to give glory to whom it is due, in any area, you’ve moved into the carnal realm. That’s claiming to be the source of your increase, and that’s a lie. You’re not the source of your salvation, Redemption, strength, grace, peace and abundance.

God is the reason for anything good in your life. That doesn’t mean you didn’t cooperate, but forgetting to give credit to God for every good thing is pride. Pride will shut off the flow to what you desire quicker than anything.

When things go well for you, that’s a testimony to people of the goodness of God. That’s why Abram refused to take anything from anyone. He told those who offered him financial reward, “I will accept nothing belonging to you, not even a thread or the strap of a sandal, so that you will never be able to say, ‘I made Abram rich’” (Genesis 14:23, NIV). He didn’t want credit for his success going anywhere but to the glory of God.

It can be challenging to look inside your heart and see why you don’t have what you desire most, but the wise are eager to do so because they know it will help them overcome, break through and finally receive those desires. They belong to you! God wants you to have them. Get with God and ask Him to help you in these areas. He wants to! Then, prepare to receive what you desire most.

[ikonislife]

Better Together.

-Bobby x Reader

-Expecting parents au, fluff

-Here for You is another dad!Jiwon request I had. This request came in right after so I guess in a way, they’re in conjunction with one another. You don’t really have to read them together since they’re pretty much stand alone pieces but it’s nice to have a small continuation. Anyways, here ya go! 10 years late but I did it!!!

The world suddenly seemed so much bigger now that your range of mobility was limit to three feet out your front door, and occasionally down the street for a short walk with your dog, in which you’re no longer allowed to hold the leash. As per your doctor order? God no! In fact, your doctor always commented on how well taken care of you were at every single appointment. This preposterous house arrest is of course, as per your husband ordered. 

Jiwon had been beyond amazing throughout your whole pregnancy despite missing nearly every single parent-in-training class due to iKon’s hectic tour schedules. Possessing the vast knowledge of one book on pregnancy for dummy he once read before realizing that nothing the books offered could possibly save him from your fifth mood swing of the hour, nor the guilt he constantly feel watching you cried from the sheer endless aching of carrying a new life. Yet there he was every time your eyes glossed over with a new insane craving or another hormonal whine fest about how unfair it is that you’re the only one looking like a duck had swallowed a planet waddling around whilst he, dashing and breaking heart as ever. Every time you panic, every time you’d freak out over every little thing, he’d be there holding your hand, calm as a swan to guide you through. Even if only moments later you caught him on the brink of tear, rapping at top speed on the phone with Hanbin, no doubt letting lose all the worries he held back for the sake of your peace of mind. Poor Hanbin, bless his soul for being therapist/consultant for whatever it might be that Jiwon is ringing him up about now. He probably has it harder than you will ever experience because Jiwon has to be taking all that emotion somewhere. He sat through an hour of you ugly crying while sobbing because you lost the allan wrench that came with your new shelf. Even when Jiwon had presented another shiny allan wrench from another set of table he had saved after putting it together the week before, you were still bawling like a baby that it weren’t the same. The collection of bags under his eyes were at this point more extensive than your designer one that he had gifted you through the years. He took it all with the grace and braveness of a new dad, without ever letting you hear his complaints. 

Jiwon, your dear husband, he’s god sent, best you could’ve ever ask for so why was it you were screaming his name off the top of your lungs, muddling it with a strings of obscene curses? Well because it’s well into your 2nd hour of labor pain, which will only get worse from here as informed by your kind team of nurses. The insane hours of pain feels much like the wave crashing the shore, except, instead of the soothing water of the ocean and sunshine of the beach, it was waves of fire, and knives, and molten lava because all you could feel is searing pain. Jiwon sits beside you, his face had contorted into something so twisted he might as well check himself in for some surgery to morph it back to the handsome face he possessed before dropping all his schedule to rush to your side.

“Baby, does it hurt mu-” His whisper chopped off as quick as it had surfaced by a small yelp elicited by your nails digging into his palm. Now he had braved probably just as much pain as you had letting you clawed at him, pinched him, hold him to a point of bruising yet not even a whimper of complain. He knows whatever discomfort he might feel will never, ever be worthy enough to compare to what you’re about to go through.

“Does it hurt, Jiwon? Does it HURT? Are you seri- Oh my fucking shit. Are you being serious right now?” The audacity of this man to sit here and question whether or not you’re really in pain. Does he still not know how it work after the half an hour of you going into an hysterical rant, explaining in excruciating details of how babies are born?

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I know it hurts a lot. What can I do?” 

“Do you, Jiwon? I just had three different people shoved their hand up my damn vagina in the last hour alone while humming “not ready yet” like I’m a freaking pie in the oven all the while being display like a freaking 150 pounds piece of really shitty art made by someone with no artistic sense whatsoever for everyone to see. Do you really know?” Damn, Jiwon would be proud with how fast and powerful you had just gotten that sentence out in one single breath if he weren’t so scare, being married to a rapper really has it perk.

“I’m sorry. I’m here, hit me, scream at me all you want okay? But you gotta calm down baby... The doctor said getting upset isn’t good for little Y/n. What can I do?” Instinctively, just as he had all these years when the world becomes a little too much for you to handle, Jiwon pulls you into his arms, never mind your harsh words or that his left palm is now bleeding from how rough your hold on his hand were. He places a kiss on your sweaty forehead, with the good hand running through your matted hair. If Jiwon could be pregnant instead, he would. 

He had always been the one bugging you to get pregnant, although never quite mad, Jiwon had gotten short with you once before when you expressed your nonchalantness with having kids. He wants to take it all back now. How could he be so selfish, how could he make you carry a life just because he wants a mini Jiwon or mini Y/n when you weren’t ready. He had forgotten seeing Hanbin and his wife went through so much trials and tribulation with their twins, or how hard it was on Chanwoo’s wife when she had complication with their first born so he so selfishly blamed you for still not having someone to call him “dad”. What a screw up he is for blaming you, the only person that was willing to take him at his best and at his worst without ever questioning his intention. 

“Get me some water... as much ice as you can.” You whimper out and he nods furiously, not knowing how else to help. A heavy sigh left your lips just as his shadow bolts out the door behind him. You know how harsh all this was on him, and of all his fears but the pain had blinded you for the past few hours.

“Baby, here.” He rushes back to your side, thankful to see a more rested form of his wife smiling back. Lifting a few spoonful of cold salvation to your lips, he settles happily when you lean into him as you satisfyingly crunches on the ice.

“Jiwon... I’m sorry.” You mewl out, much to his surprise. 

“Whatever for, honey? You did nothing wrong.” Eyes widen, for the first time since arrival he was met with your tearful features even with the gut punches your body was preparing to welcome the baby are still rolling in with full force.

“I-I know all I’ve been doing is yell at you. First all I do is complain, now I just yell and hurt you. I don’t want you to think this is me now... I said it before, I’ll say it now. I’m happy to be able to welcome my child with you, our child. I know I don’t say it enough, or at all, but Kim Jiwon, you’re an amazing person.”

“Stop it, love. I’m far from perfect. I always expect this thing to be easy breezy, you know? I’ve seen Jinhwan hyung did it, then Yunhyeong hyung... Even Hanbin, and June, and the maknae. I just, I don’t know. I guess it’s not as easy when we do it ourselves, huh?” That strange chuckle, signature of your husband rings out so dearly and suddenly your heart is at peace. You snuggle further into his chest despite the strange position you both had taken on with the soon to be gone bump in between. “Like I said before, you’re the most beautiful person in this world and I thank God everyday for giving me you.” 

You must be looking like a rag doll after a tsunami but his words and those loving eyes just make you feel like a million dollars. His fingers find their way back to your face pushing away a few stray strand of hair as they would always do before he so tenderly presses a gentle kiss on your lips. Jiwon holds it there for what felt like eternity as he lets his heart and soul sear you with all his love, only parting way once the footfall could be heard leading to your room. 

Once more you experience what could only be describe as a frog prepared to get dissected during bio class, what’s with being prod at, poke, and examine. Another 4 excruciating hours and a few laps around the maternity ward later to loosen your muscles, you were prepped and primed for the main event. The world feels like such a blur, as if suddenly the Earth had decided to go on a race with its sibling planets. Blurs of people running in and out of the room, blurs of faces telling you to push, blurs of the incessant beeping of all the machineries, blurs of pain. In the blurry faded world flashing in front of your eyes, his face remains clear as day right beside you. Jiwon has his arms around you like he always had been when he walked you through rough spots in life. 

For God knows why, your memories rushes back to the day you had thought your journey with him was to end, back to the days of being young and being careless. You had gotten tired of waiting, angry at him for always leaving but too foolish to realize there were millions of other solutions before separating. “Let’s break up” you had said simply and watched as he said simply, “No.” Before you had realized what was going on, he already had his arms around you before repeating one more time, “No.” You were angry at first, the blatant disrespect he was showing by refusing to hear you but then you broke down crying in his arms and held him the tightest you’ve ever held anyone. “My naive girl, what make you think pushing me away will be the answer to your pain of never having me around? Did you think that parting way forever will help you get over how much you miss me? Because let me tell you right now, if you love me as I do you, that’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever come up with because i can’t even fathom how much it hurt not to have you in my life.” And he held you for the next hours as you both snuggling up on your old worn couch, then the rest of the night when you buried your head in his chest while listening to his sweet, sweet voice. “When you’re thirsty, you drink water. When you’re hungry, you eat. When you miss someone, you should be with them. I don’t get your ass backward logic, missy. Tell me right now, would you rather me leave right now, and I will if you do. I don’t want to force you into a relationship if you’re already decided you don’t need anymore.” Your response was to pull him closer and never let go.  Just like that night, Jiwon is right where he needed to be and he protects you in his arms even when he doubts that it will help, he holds you anyways. Through the exhaustion and through it all, you smile because you’re all each other got and simply, you’re better together as 3 and counting. 

Then the world stops. A single cry tears through the musty sweat filled air like the clearest bell and all either of you could hear was that cry. The weight of the world lifted off your shoulders when you see the smile on his face, a smile that said you had just been demoted to second favorite as the nurse hands over your bundle of joy. 

“She’s so perfect. God,  I said I wouldn’t cry. Look at me now.” Jiwon half guffaw half chokes on his own tears as he delicately places his lips on her forehead, finger gently caressing her fluffy cheeks. 

“She’s perfect, just like her dad.” You lean back, forgetting that stitches were being placed, that your lower half felt like it had been through a meat grinder. Watching Jiwon holding your sleepy baby close to his chest as he coos “Hi baby, I’m your dad”, you’d go through this again and again. There is nothing more precious in this world than bringing a new life into this world and nothing will surpass the joy of doing it with Jiwon. You’re sure the weeks to come will be both painful and exhausting but seeing the excitement in his eyes as he shows off your daughter to the boys, you know you’re in good hands. 

[wristic]

To Forsake All Love

Pairing: Sigurd X Reader

Word Count: 3200

Warnings: Mild descriptions of gore (You start out picking up King Aelle post-blood eagle sooooo)

-Part 1- -Part 2- -Part 3- -Part 4- -Part 5-

Daughter to the now dead King Aelle, a Queen mother overcome with grief and terror, a sister far from you and the other with no aspirations of responsibility, it falls to you to save Northumbria. Even if that means your people will hate you for it. 

When the carriage arrived to its destination, you were not at all surprised to find it at the final resting place of Ragnar Lothbrok. What did surprise and flip your stomach was the ghastly scene of your father strung up, his position so reminiscent of the savior Jesus Christ as he died, yet the wings of his ascension where very visible and made of bloodied flesh. You gulped down the acid, the step down startling you as your slippered foot hit the ground.

The earth was quiet as you walked, the dead leaves and soil wet from the morning rain. The aroma smelled so fresh and new yet the grizzly sight filled everyone with dread. You found your place between the open chamber of the ground and your perched father. “I don't want to see the back, do I?”

Godwine looked back down, his aged and sun-cured face tense and jaw rolling like he might be sick. Plainly he shook no.

You stepped away and let them work, finding it easier to hack away at the standing post then to dig it up. Every so often you’d look down at the chamber’s edge you stood at, feeling like eyes were looking up from it. Each time you looked there was nothing, only leaves, and the foreboding sensation something might grab your ankle and drag you in. You weren't there for the death of Ragnar, no place for a royal lady your father said. It was fine by you. Everyone was always so desperate to make heroes and demigods and martyrs out of anything, but you knew he would bleed and he would die like any other man. They always did.

Hearing the wood creak and snap, the guards were quick to grab it's sides, lowering your father to the ground as gently as possible, making sure his back would remain unseen for his dignity.

Walking around the chamber you stood at her father's feet as they cut at the ropes, the guards grimacing as they tucked in the skin for your sake. The flesh had grown so pallid it was nearer to grey. His eyes still open but empty of life, the gold brown looking ghostly on his slack and peaceful face.

“Leave us for a moment.” you ordered and waited patiently for them all to return to the carriage. You then unclasped your black cloak with its golden embroidery and draped it over his bare figure. Sitting beside him, back against the guards, you sighed looking off in the distance.

“I know that you loved me… though I hardly felt it. Between your righteous vows to keep order and your fear I would take inspiration from Judith…” thinking of your sister you only got to see for moments out of years, truths you could never say to his living soul tumbled from you, still in trepidation. “I think you knew I envy Judith. Heavens have mercy I envy her strength with every ounce of my being. I’m sorry silence was the only thing I could offer you. I’m sorry it couldn't always quell the heat of your anger.” 

You swallowed, feeling your back straighten a little taller. “I will do what I have to to save what is left of this kingdom.” You rose feeling a painful tightness in your chest. “I am willing to be hated just as Judith is. Curse me all you want in your afterlife but where the others are not, I am willing to make that sacrifice.”

The world was quiet for a moment. The uneasy feeling of being watched tugged at you again and you glanced to the chamber, a few ravens plucking for worms at its edges. You breathed heavy, closing your eyes tight. “I know you won't, but please forgive me for what I am about to do.”

As you left his side the guards came back around and lifted your father from the ground to the caravan, covered in your black cape. You chose to walk with the guards to the royal crypts, at least for a short time as it would be a day and a half till they got there.

“What was done to my father can not leave us. When we return, we say he found him on the battlefield.” the guards were silent in their unease. You looked up to tall Godwine. “If the people hear of this brutality they will scramble terrified. Others will shy away-”

“Maybe they should! Everyone should run as far from here as they can!” the youngest of the guards, Ingweald, snapped from a ways behind you.

You shook your head and turned to him as well as your entourage, all stopping to listen. “For how long would we run, to where? The ends of the Earth? What then, would you leap into the endless void? Would that really be better than giving a hell scream into a righteous battle?” The men fell silent and stopped shifting, but took a timid glance at the dead King Aelle beside them. “We have no true army, and you guards are of few left. To keep our heads above the water we must at least be united and stalwart. Now please, swear to me we will tell everyone he died in battle.”

It was a long pause before they all nodded, mumbling a nervous vow.

When you returned home, your Queen mother Ealswith was crying sick with worry. Her pale aged face blotchy in red and sagging in exhaustion. “You took so long to retrieve him I thought I was right! I thought that they trapped-!”

“They didn't mother.” You forced a smile but inside was a turmoil, feeling sick all over again with wanting to admit the horror you witnessed. It seemed to show all the same.

“What?” Ealswith pet your sullen face. “Darling what is it?”

“He’s been placed in the crypts.”

The newly appointed Bishop Edmure stood. An older bitter man who had been hungry for the position for decades. It seemed he got what he wanted from your mother while you were away, and it itched you in annoyance. Edmure was as righteous and hot tempered as your father, and standing so close to the King's chair it seemed he meant to replace the sudden missing piece. “He should have been brought here, to be blessed-”

“Well I didn’t know anyone had been appointed just yet.” You kept your chin up so you wouldn't glower. “But he did fall valiantly in battle, defending his country as any king could hope for.” Ealswith seemed bewildered, still petting you and tilting her head silently asking for the truth. You couldn't give it, bowing your head and moving past your tense mother. “We should make preparations. I’ve heard they are heading to Wessex. It is my greatest fear this is far from over.”

The only other to know the true endings of King Aelle was a letter sent to Ecbert, a fair warning of the cruelty to come should he fail.

And fail he did.

You had readied your journey almost as soon as your letter went out. Leaving Queen Ealswith and Bishop Edmure to the court, you left to the Wessex capital.

Hiding in the brush a distance away you watched the large pointed tree get used as a hammer through the gates. The newly fashioned ebony mourning cape and stormy grey dress snapped in the wind and your horse Redfool sputtered, grunting hearing the war cry break out. She calmed a bit while you patted her solid red forehead down to her ashed brown nose. Sighing as the raid realized the civilians had all fled, you felt weak in your bones as they cheered again.

You stood at the trees rim for awhile, waiting for the charcoal smoke to dwindle and the commotion inside to turn casual. Placing a hand on Redfool’s thick jaw you turned your mount to face you. “You be good, don't leave me behind again.” She huffed at you making you chuckle, the only momentary ease you found since your journey began. With a last tug on the ropes around the tree, knowing they wouldn't hold Redfool in place, you walked out of the forest to the gates.

You were surprised to find no one payed attention to you. There were so many people, men and women alike, most having shed off their armor in favor of more comfortable dresses and shirts. It felt strange, being surrounded by all these excited people but not being able to understand them, understand their interactions or their comfort at being enclosed by a broken and burned city. It felt like being a ghost of the city itself. Seeing but not seen.

Following the sound of celebration you came upon the city's center, the tables all brought out from the homes, filled with foods and drinks, people jeering and dancing merrily for their victory. Resting your shoulder against the stone column, you looked at the raised platform in wonderment. Five sat there, commanders or Kings, you couldn't tell but they all seemed so young. You twisted the thin gold band with the pearl shaped jet stone around your finger, examining each one closely as they laughed and talked.

They were all quite eye catching, handsome each in their own ways. Most were fair haired, some more sandy, one a pale orange, and the other shades darker than the rest, but all blue eyed. It occurred to you they may all be brothers, elevated above the rest they were more than commanders, they were royalty.

As the fair orange one ascended his steps from playing what looked like half a lute, the black cloak caught his eye, suddenly intriguing him like it had no one else. The smile he had prier fell at the sight of you and you wondered if it was your God or his many that bade him to see you through the denizens of people.

Lifting your chin you stood straight, hoping to give the look of someone who wanted to talk business. Spinning around you led the way into the castle, praying he would follow you, that he would speak to you, that he would listen.

However walking through the castle and into the Great Hall, it was hard not to relive old memories. The last time you were there was as a mere child, unaware of the revulsion that would take your father for your eldest sister.

While you were stealing a fourth berry tart Aelle came out of nowhere, gripping your tiny shoulder, pointing to Judith and seething in your ear. He cursed your sister in a thousand ways for her crimes, telling you how a proper woman should behave. You could remember Judith's face as if she was looking across the room now. Judith knew what was happening, she could probably see all the shock and confusion in your plump little face but was powerless to explain. Instead, Judith's big eyes grew sad, tired despite being so young. They watered but no tears fell, finding sanctuary in tearing them from her little sisters and force a smile to the person next to her.

It wasn't until years spent reflecting you understood the sheer amount of rebellion that had taken place in that room. Where your father called it insolence you called it resilience. A declaration Judith made that she would no longer coddle his or any man's whims, no matter what the cost. The sigh that echoed around you was heavy with the weight, having expelled so many in the week you were sure you were breathing out your soul at this point.

You missed your big sister. Mourned the opportunity to have learned so much from her instead of your more complacent mother. The simple visit alone to warn your father, she was only able to say a few words but they breathed so much life in you, your hands shook for weeks.

You were hiding behind Judith's carriage so your father couldn't see. When Judith rounded the corner she was surprised to see her silent little sister, but walked by casually so Aelle wouldn't wonder.

“What's it like?”

It was a small question but it rang with the dozens unspoken. Judith knew at once every single one, a smirk, a smile breaking on her lips for the first time since her arrival. She leaned in and whispered. “It feels like I could set the whole world on fire, and I’d laugh while I burned with it.”

Licking your lips to quell the sudden rush of excitement the sound of footsteps finally made their way in. When they stopped somewhere behind, you glanced back to make sure it was him. The way he was looking at you, it brought back that feeling of being a ghost. He seemed mystified, at ends with believing you were real. You let your eyes wander the room, the memories having a hard time leaving. “It's been a long time since I’ve been here.” your voice echoed ominously. “A shame it had to be in this state.” after a moment of silence you hurriedly peeked back. “Do you speak Saxon?”

“Yes, I do.” There was a chuckle in his voice as he dared to step a little closer. It felt wrong to see him smile, to have the look of a friend. He was an enemy, a heathen, and no doubt there for the brutal execution of her father. Yet you started to feel comfortable in his presence already.

You fully turned and pulled down your hood revealing the royal golden circlet. “I am Princess (Y/N) of Northumbria. My father was King Aelle.”

His whole demeanor gave a fright to that. Tensing and taking a step away from you, wide eyes glancing to the door. In their shock you noticed his right pupil was thin and long, a bit turned sideways but a slit like a cats.

You sucked in a nervous breath. “Your army, it's not going to leave, is it?”

His hands fiddled with their sleeves before admitting. “We took our revenge for our father. We have no reason to stay.”

“But is it going to leave?” you stepped closer and he wavered but remained. Your fingers found sanctuary in spinning the small ring. “My fear is an army so great would find no reason to turn around after so much success. And if that be the case, that the people of Northumbria will be enslaved or simply slaughtered. Every able bodied man we had has died at your first battle. We have no army anymore, no seasoned men to protect ourselves. While my mother and sister grieve it has fallen to me to ensure the country's survival.” You removed the fashioned promise ring and presented it to him. “If any man wishes to be a king and inherit a fertile and prosperous land, he need only promise me he can stave the tide of the Great army.”

He wasn't as hesitant to take the ring as he had been in being alone with you. You felt your fingers warm under the brush of his, instinctively gulping at such a rare touch. Taking the gold band from you slowly he looked more in your eyes than at the black bead so reminiscent of your family's thick pitch black hair. Breaking your gaze and allowing you to breath, he examined the ring. A smirk started to grow. “Any preferences?”

“Preference has never been a luxury a princess can afford.” you smiled gently and his eyes seemed to soften in sympathy. In a sweep you pulled your hood back up. “Please. Let me know as soon as possible the answer. My people and I are sick with worry for our uncertain future.”

You made to leave when he gave a cheeky reply. “I’ll make sure to speak of your radiant beauty to my brother's.”

A smile forced its way on your suddenly warm face and you graced him with it. “I hope not as a joke.”

“It maybe if only to keep them away from you.” he pointed with the promise ring and a coy smirk.

You giggled, shying away and leaving the castle. When you returned to Redfool the blasted horse had gotten loose and was found prancing around in a nearby stream.

When Sigurd returned to the table he was looking back at the castle wistfully, the ring fiddling between his fingers. Part of him still wasn't sure the whole interaction was real. The princess had been so beautiful even in her humble dress. So dauntless in offering her hand. Yet it was the sadness in her eyes that was sure to haunt him.

“Where have you been Sigurd?” Ivar chimed behind his chalice. “It looked like you were following a ghost.”

“I’m still not entirely sure I wasn't.” He lifted the ring for them to see before passing it to Hvitserk so his brothers could look at it one by one. “The daughter of King Aelle just offered herself in marriage.”

The four jumped to attention, Bjorn having took the ring then handed it off past Ubbe and to Ivar. Ivar eyed the ring hesitantly before taking it, examining the finely crafted band with the jet stone pearl, the thin gold curling around its setting like a long overgrown vine.

Hvitserk sat back looking to Sigurd. “How did she get in here?”

“I think she just walked in.” Sigurd chuckled as he sat down. “She’s worried we won't leave. Apparently that army we demolished when we got here was all they had.”

Ivar shrugged tossing the ring on the table like a cheap coin. “That just means they're ripe for the picking. They’ll roll over like the dogs they are and we’ll take everything they have to offer.”

“’Any man who wishes to be a king and inherit a fertile land, need only promise me he can stave off the tide of your army’. That's what she said. I don't see that as such a bad deal.” Sigurd pointed.

“You sound like you’ve already decided to marry her brother.” Ubbe teased.

“Maybe I just have a weakness for sad beautiful women.” He smiled to the ground, remembering how easy it was to flatter her. Certainly she’d be blushing to hear him say that.

Ivar’s callous laugh disrupted the sweet melodic giggle she had left Sigurd with. “So eager to marry a Christian girl? That sounds like you. Perhaps you seek to become Christian yourself hm?”

“I think you're missing the part where she was beautiful and offered a Kingship. Besides,” he got back up when no one returned the ring and took it, playing with it between his fingers. “She’d be my wife. I’d just make her convert to our Gods.”

Bjorn scoffed behind his cup. “I think you underestimate the power a woman can have in a house.” He murmured with a smirk.

Sigurd made his way around the table looking at them hard. “So I am the only one interested in becoming a King?”

“A Christian King.” Ivar growled.

Resisting rolling his eyes in favor of ignoring him, Sigurd turned to Hvitserk, somehow knowing he would also refuse. “Hvitserk?”

He only shrugged but slipped into a teasing smile. “You sound like you have your heart set on this. You go take your Christian Princess brother.”

[modernart2012]

Distant Places (All These Things I’ve Done)

@sumigakure​ Halloween Event 2017

Prompt 15: This Town Isn’t What it Seems

Prompt 12: Character finds out they’re a Supernatural Creature

Word Count: 15944

Rating: Mature

WARNING DESCRIPTION OF PANIC ATTACK

On AO3

 “Here we are Kakashi.” Sakumo sets down the final box in the gekkan; the rest are stacked pathetically, clinically in neat rows across part of the length of the hall. His son looks around silently, moving ninja quiet around the room trailing Fluffy and Pakkun behind like mismatched lion dogs from the front of a temple made flesh. His heart constricts heavily in his chest, everything about the scene painfully wrong. The neat and orderly boxes, the pervasive ringing silence, the way his genius son was simply nonverbal and constantly huddled in his mother's oversized scarf. Chiasa should have been here, should be laughing and teasing and failing to parse out her own handwriting on the boxes even though the boxes were always mislabeled and it wouldn’t matter which one was opened first anyways.

 He breathes in deep, slow and even like the military had taught him when he was in basic training, like the therapists taught him when the world was too overwhelming and threatening to drown him alive, and tries to let go. Chiasa had probably befriended all the dogs (or wolves, or foxes, or hyenas, or whatever canine she stumbled across) on her way through the Earth God’s Halls, leading a massive pack to the Lady of Death to await judgement and reincarnation. Four Almighty, she’d probably act as advocate for the dogs to be reincarnated into better lives, fight the Lady of Death herself. It wouldn’t help any to clutch desperately at her soul with his regrets; she deserved to go in peace after so long without, deserved better than to be tethered to this world to turn into a vengeful ghost instead of journeying on to the next life. He has things to focus on here and now, does not have time to dwell on the past and what is irreversible. Breathe in 4, breathe out 7, and turn to the future.

 “Kakashi, would you like to light the flame?” The lamp had been the only item he had carried outside of a box, the thing he had Kakashi place first in the shrive alcove by the fireplace in the living room. It should have been the first thing done, the flame lit and the prayers of blessing sung while smudging incense and lavender through the house, but Sakumo hoped the Fire God would give them a pass. Funerals and mourning were in there on the list of the Interdictions, right, where allowances were made for not strictly following the ceremonies and rituals? Kakashi nods, and barely touches a finger to the clarified butter soaked wick before it sparks up and burns true. Sakumo takes out the jasmine incense Chiasa had loved, and lights a stick to place inside the incense holder, then passes the item to Kakashi. “Once round the house, in all the rooms, and round the garden too. You don’t have to say the prayers, thinking them is fine,” Sakumo is quick to add that last bit. The therapists said Kakashi would speak again when he wanted to, and to not add pressure of speaking before Kakashi was ready on his own. Three deaths so quickly, one right after the other, deaths of people they were both close to; it was a lot of grief to process no matter how long ago it happened, and it didn’t harm anyone to let his son work through it like this. Kakashi nods and goes off, still trailing Pakkun like a vigilant shadow. Fuzzy settles down in the hall with a quiet boof, and he softly pets her cloud white head before getting on with his tasks.

 He’s just getting done with scrubbing down the still and sweep of the front door when Dai finally gets there. “Sakumo!” He’s enveloped in green and toned muscles before he can think about it. “I’ve missed you, my old friend.” Sakumo doesn’t answer, the words are unnecessary; he loosens the tension of his frame and hugs back. Clings to the solidness of Dai and the easy affection he offers, the warm port in the storm of his emotions churning like the wine-dark sea. Sakumo’s suffused with gratefulness; it was a good idea to move to the new Ranger station here with Dai, even if the job was technically to watch over some academic as they handled ...      something    .

 It’s above his paygrade to worry about, anyways, since all he needs to know is that the government is very interested in making sure whatever the project is is kept quiet and delivered to the military upon completion. It’s a stable, relatively non-dangerous position that means he can stay with his son and process the most recent loss, that of his wife without worrying about being shot by the enemy. Especially since his senses have been going haywire recently. Sakumo can smell that Dai had an oat kale banana almond protein shake this morning, had hugged someone who smelled like him yet subtly different and someone not - Gai, most likely, then Hisako- and paused somewhere with a lot of minerals. It bothers his nose, and Sakumo has to pull away to sneeze several times in quick succession to clear out his sinuses. Dai, of the same school of thought as their late C.O., whacks him heartily on the back, “There, there, get it out of your system.” Because sneezes originated in the chest and needed to be gotten out like a cough, according to Old Butsuma Senju - he had treated his lung cancer the same way, and died of it, the crotchety old bastard. As if summoned, Kakashi materializes at the base of the stairs, gaze unwaveringly on Sakumo and shifting on his feet like he wants to drift closer but doesn’t know if he should, if he would be welcome. He'd begun hovering over Sakumo at the slightest indication of illness too, but Sakumo didn't mind. He knew he'd do the same, probably would with the chill of the fall setting in given Kakashi’s penchant for catching colds.

 “Come on in Dai,” Sakumo offers, slowly making his way down the hall towards the kitchen, only pausing to ruffle Kakashi’s hair. Kakashi pushes up into the touch momentarily, then brushes by to retreat into the living room. Fuzzy turns her head just so, creating a depression where Pakkun can trip himself into, curl up snug and warm in her fur, and such that she can keep an eye on Kakashi. She’s never been trained in childcare, just picked up on it naturally, instinct running high when Kakashi was born and has kept up ever since. “I’m sorry, we don’t have much yet, I have yet to make it to the grocery store, but I can make tea?”

 Dai waves him off, “Don’t worry about it; I’m here to help you unpack and settle in.” Dai pushes a slim emerald green box tied in black ribbon across the corners. It rattles ominously, probably amythest, a piece of amber, malachite, black jasper, and beryl - stones for healing, for strength, for emotional cleansing and stability. Good stones for mourning, good stones for the shrine, to remember by. “Hisako is going to bring Gai and groceries later today, so let’s try to get at least the ground floor cleaned and set up.” Of course Dai would bring a traditional gift, and of course he would make nothing of it. Wouldn't even repeat the ritual phrases because Dai knew Sakumo hadn't found any comfort in them the first time with his father, or the second with his mother-in-law, or the third with Chiasa. It was uncool to do something when you know it wouldn't help. Didn't go with his nice guy aesthetic. Sakumo swallows down a choked sob, inhales for a count of 4, exhales a count of 7, and focuses on the task of setting up a house.

 “I was hoping to scrub down the floors and refinish them, at least while the floors are bare,” Sakumo offers in return. Dai will hear what he isn’t saying, that he’s restless and needs the physicality of labor to keep himself here. Dai’s not a stranger to Sakumo’s bouts of depression, of his techniques for self-care and processing emotions, been on the receiving end of his need to clean and organize many different times in their long friendship. Wallowing has never done anything for him, and right now he could use a distraction from the awful grasp of sadness rolling around his skull.

 Dai nods after a moment of careful consideration. “We’ll need to put up an iron horseshoe over the door first - local custom - then we can go to the hardware store for scrubbers, wood stain, and wood wax. The Doctor’s lab is right there, so I can introduce you then as well.”

 Sakumo hasn’t heard of the iron horseshoe superstition in anything but faerie tales, “You’ll have to appraise me of all the local customs, then.” It’s been years since he last heard one of those stories; Kakashi had quickly and effectively demonstrated his disdain for anything lacking in canine characters in stories as a child, and once he had figured out how to read, well, it was hard to lie about which characters were dogs when Kakashi could figure it out with a quick glance at the page. Dai strikes his signature ‘nice guy’ pose, and Sakumo hopes there’s a guide, if Dai is striking his pose of ‘working hard and showing results’. Maybe the locals are just really old-fashioned and uphold long-dead ancient traditions?

 The hardware store has eclectic ‘home security’ and ‘home improvement’ sections, an anachronistic array of modern and old items that constitute some value of security or improvement from salt lamps and iron to seals and normal electronic security measures. Sakumo wisely doesn't comment, because he's here for the foreseeable future and making enemies with the hardware store is a slippery slope to having the whole town against you. Local business owners are the ones to be in good with, especially in small towns out in the forest. He's looking forward to a long continued relationship with them, and his life.

 He leaves Kakashi, Pakkun, and Fuzzy on the porch of the Doctor's office, a repurposed house, because while he doesn’t want to leave his son with only canine care (as excellent as it is), taking his son into an active research lab is probably really low on the scale of Do’s and Don’t’s of parenting. Dai grins broadly, then raps loudly on the door. It’s scaled in iron, and the window boxes were full of primroses. An interesting choice of decor, but eccentric academic types were wont to be ... eccentric. Idly, Sakumo wonders about the forest that seems to mix so closely with the town, like the buildings were built in little pockets in between trunks and roots, almost something out of a high fantasy setting. Seriously, this looked like something out of the Lord of the Rings movies.

 “Hello, Hunter. It’s been a while.” Someone somewhere has stomped all over Sakumo’s grave, given the shivers crawling over his spine. He knows that voice, and still has flashbacks to that time in Yu no Kuni, with the absolutely      crazy     people being chased by two known wanted hitmen trying to ransom them. Of course he would run into one of them, that was just his luck.”You’ve aged well. Very well.” Fuzzy is standing, hackles raised but not growling. Those piercing, assessing eyes that have only grown more alluring and more bright with time finish perusing Sakumo and flit over to the corner. “And Wolfy too. Hello, Wolfy. How are you?” Fuzzy whines, high and confused, but still poised to move. The Doctor makes no move to touch Fuzzy though, which Sakumo has to begrudgingly give him props for knowing better than to touch a conflicted and scared animal.

 The pale, golden-eyed one leans languid in the doorway, long hair tied back into a high ponytail and there’s a smirk that screams      mischief    to Sakumo. His first thought is      beautiful    , second      breathtaking    , and third is      oh no    . He tenses, ready to move -      ready to flee     - because he distinctly recalls a decade ago as being a massive FUBAR SNAFU even for the Rangers. An International Incident, more wreckage than the World Wars, and sexual harassment by a minor. The only saving grace had been finding out their targets had been taken care of by some academic type via experimental seal.

 Dai is either ignoring the awkward or exhibiting restraint - “So you’ve met Dr. Benzaiten before Sakumo! That’s great!” - or he’s oblivious. Sakumo sighs, and tries not facepalm. “This makes things so much easier!” Sometimes he has to wonder how Dai even made it into the Rangers, given the branch’s clandestine activities, but then he remembers that Dai is a hand-to-hand specialist who’s managed to take on people who were bullet- and magic-proof and win.

 The good Doctor snickers. It’s not mean, or at least it’s not at haughty and demeaning, but honestly amused, “Doctor Orochimaru Benzaiten, PhD. You must be the new Ranger assigned here.”

 Sakumo notes that the good Doctor doesn’t offer his hand to shake, or give any form of pleasantry. It might be hard to face someone you’ve perpetrated a crime against, he supposes, even if it’s a decade later. “Major Sakumo Hatake, Army Rangers. I am assigned here, yes, specifically to you.” It might be petty to restrain himself from minor pleasantries as well, but mirroring      is     a form of politeness. In like, Uzu no Kuni, or something.

 The silence that stretches out after that is heavy, the Doctor eying him speculatively, Dai grinning and Kakashi doing his best to hunker down behind the still wary Fuzzy. A glittering purple head rises up from what Sakumo thought was the Doctor’s neckline - now he can tell the scaled bit isn’t a collar, it’s a      live snake     - and tastes the air. The Doctor strokes slowly over the viper-diamond head, contemplatively, like he’s listening closely to something no one else can hear. It stirs the air enough that Sakumo’s nose is hit with conflicting information: dust, chemicals, Dai, flower-scent, and the smell of dried scales. He sneezes twice rapidly, if only his damn sensitivity to smells would settle down already!

 “Oh? Captain Maito, do see that Major Hatake is caught up on the local ...peculiarities. It will not do for a military man to be ... caught up in the local ongoings, after all. I’d hate to have something occur that can’t be fixed.” The Doctor slowly continues to stroke the snake’s head, sashaying his sharp purple eyeshadow and dangly iron earrings back through the door with a perfunctory snap shut. Sakumo tries to parse if that is a honest warning, or a subtle threat. It sounded like the Doctor is trying to say something important, but Sakumo’s missing most of the relevant puzzle pieces.

 Dai smiles confidently, “I think Dr. Benzaiten likes you! He actually spoke to you instead of glaring, snarking, and/or trying to make you out to be incompetent.” Which might have something to do with their last encounter, where at least two out of the three things Dai just mentioned happened. Sakumo and Dai step off the porch, Fuzzy herding Kakashi and Pakkun along and bringing up the rear.

 But, “Did he try that with you?” Sakumo’s willing to swallow his own reservations about the Doctor, especially because it’s his job to do so, but if the Doctor was mean to Dai for no reason, then he’s absolutely going to write back to Command and tell them about the Doctor’s nonsense. All of it. The previous incident was well documented, appropriately filed, and it’d just take a word to have the Doctor’s record black marked for sexual harassment.

 Dai levels him a clear-eyed stare, the same one Sakumo had gotten before Dai had slapped sense into him when Sakumo had worked himself into a nervous wreck right before his wedding to Chiasa. “Sakumo, I wouldn’t be here if I couldn’t handle a sarcastic child. There are worse things out there than a snarky academic, you and I both know it.” He has to accept the truth of it though, the time with the Daimyo’s daughter was in fact      the worst    , not even for the treachery and number of bodies she created unnecessarily. A pretty, snarky academic really is nothing in comparison to having to toss still warm bodies into a volcano to hide the evidence.  “Besides, we still have a house to clean. Lucky it’s small, right?”

 Small, while generous as a descriptor, still means there’s a lot of scrubbing and cleaning to do. The last layer of wax barely dries before Hisako and Gai arrive, and then Hisako informs them that the rooms need to be repainted and anti-pest sprayed before they can even begin to think about living there. Sakumo thinks there’s absolutely nothing wrong with the bare off-white walls, but Hisako is as much a force to be reckoned with as Dai when she’s set her mind on something, so off they go back to the hardware store for paint.

 It’s dusk and the town looks completely different. There are figures who pass by like shadows, build up in the streets, that Sakumo only gets glimpses of in the gaslight. Perhaps they are people who work normal jobs, and only just now get to complete their chores for the day? Brigadier General Senju often complained of that, when she was single, and so did many other single coworkers. Balancing getting off work tiredness and the need for food and other household chores was always difficult.

 There’s a small platform in the middle of the central town square, front and center of a series of benches.Some people are congregated at the benches, talking softly, milling out patiently and with expectation. “Dai, what’s going on here.” Sakumo tips his chin in their general direction, trying to be discreet. Some of the shadows Sakumo could half see in the corners of his eyes raised the prickling feeling he’s always gotten when danger is near. Sakumo doesn't know what to call it, but there's a tingle in his spine that says something is off.

 Dai flicks his eyes to the groups, to the various forms about, some hooded, some veiled, and murmurs      sotto voce    , “We have a lot of people who live in the surroundings, and this is the only town in a 50 mile radius to have a paved road to get in goods. They come in once or twice a week, but usually on days the Headman has announcements or open forum.”

 “Headman?” Maybe Dai should’ve taken Sakumo to meet the Headman instead of the Doctor today; if things were this small town mentality, then the Headman was the man to meet first. The military tended to be formal about things like that after all, especially with military researchers based in backwoods places.

 “Dr. Benzaiten. He’s the main person who fixes things, after the last Mayor’s gristly death,” Dai mistakes Sakumo’s look of alarm, “Oh, that was a long time ago. Really, before our time, back when the Doctor first came here with his teacher to do some research. According to the locals, there were a bunch of lightning and thunder storms, and other weird happenstances, but the Mayor ended up dead.” Dai holds up two different paint color swatches. Why in the name of the Fire God Dai thinks Sakumo desires blood red walls or forest green walls is a mystery for the ages. Sakumo holds up a pale silver grey color and a toasted wheat bread tan swatch. Dai vetoes them immediately with neon pink.

 The man at the counter leans over, his full beard both glorious and intimidating in its sheer size. The urge to throw the regulation handbook at him is fierce, but      civilian     and      hardware store owner    . “Good riddance to bad business, uh. That Four-damned sonovabitch was up to his neck in the Twelve Hells’ business; he didn’t get nothin’ that weren’t already comin’ to him.” He draws his right hand across his eyes in a clawing motion, ripping off the glamour evil places over sight so that the person can’t tell right from wrong. Air God follower, then. Unusual for a hardware shop owner, but Sakumo wasn’t one to judge, since for all that the family name was Hatake he was sheer shit at earth magic. Much to his training sergeant’s eternal horror.

 Dai shrugs, “It was noted that it could have been murder, but the overwhelming consensus was ‘Act of God(s)’ and left at that.” Because nothing said Bad Idea like investigating God meted justice. He presses the first three fingers of his right hand to his chest clawed, and drags away. No one needs the God’s Eyes on them for good or ill; God attention never ended well for anyone involved.  

 The bearded shop owner eyes Sakumo, “You the one who moved in on Old Woman Kayano’s place, uh?” He blazes on, before Sakumo can answer, since it’s either stamped across his forehead or the small town rumor mill’s been busily at work within less than 24 hours, “Earth God Bless her soul, she didn’t have a lick of sense the Four gave sheep, wouldn’t listen an’ got herself got, uh. Tell you what, that place needs more than a lick an’ spit shine, real fixer upper, I’ll give you the discount.” He quickly selects a series of colors from the proffered swatches, and mixes them. “You’ll want salt an’ iron nails too, uh.” The man nods knowingly, like this is the most basic thing Sakumo will need in order to repaint his house. “Headman’ll be ‘round later in the week to set them up right an’ show you how, don’t think nothin’ of it.”

 Sakumo’s head is spinning with the rapid-fire information dump, plus the idea of letting the Doctor into his house, a place for his family, “Ah. My tha  -”

 The man slaps a hand over his mouth faster than Sakumo can blink, their faces drawn together uncomfortably close, “Right, up and forgot you ain’t got the run down quite yet, uh. Don’t go throwin’ around the ‘ank-thay ou-yay’ phrase or the like, some folks ‘round these parts are quick to drag that into a life debt, so mind. You’ll be fleeced of everythin’ you hold dear, uh.” Dai nods enthusiastically, so it’s either just this one person’s quirk or it’s an actual thing. Given the circumstances and Sakumo’s luck, it’s probably an actual thing, which meant - nothing good, Holy Fire God’s Flame. The man lets go but doesn’t end the eye contact.

 “Are these people that dangerous?” He can’t say his heart isn’t beating faster in alarm, since this is precisely the sort of thing that ought to have come on the mission parameter memo, and not a ‘local customs to be assimilated to’ bullet. Life debts haven’t been a thing for the last 400 years! And even then, they were usually invoked when someone actually saved your life, or someone near and/or dear to you.

 The man stares deeply into Sakumo’s eyes. And very slowly, with great emphasis, nods. Just once. Then he deliberately hits the total key on the register, letting the ka-ching of it processing echo in the space. “That’ll be $60.46 ryo, uh.”

 Sakumo pays, and stumbles out under the weight of the paint tins. Thank the Four for whomever invented paint and primer in one, for the amount of paint carrying they’ve saved him. They walk quickly, facing forward, idly discussing what color ought to be begun first - Sakumo thinks the pale Iron blue needs at least one coat today, since it’s the most pigmented, but Dai thinks they should finish the halls and powder room due to square footage. The town square is still busy, with more people flickering as shadows around the edges. Sakumo can see the Doctor speaking emphatically with someone in a deep emerald cloak, clearly annoyed but maintaining socially required politeness. They pass close enough to see the cloaked figure - surrounded by other figures tense with barely leashed energy - and hear her clear wind-chime voice snap with relentless wrath, “If you will not      find     and be       rid     of the      whore-begotten mongrel     I will have to do so      myself    .”

 The Doctor’s voice is cyanide sweet, dripping with venom and danger, “Lady, there are a thousand things you need to do yourself, but I caution you that this is not one of those things you should consider within your purview to act upon.” There’s a veiled threat in there, one Sakumo can read in the Doctor’s face more than the words - one that promises a painful reckoning if the woman finds and - given context, probably murders - whomever she’s deemed a ‘whore-begotten mongrel’. “Furthermore, you yourself were quick to claim you had ended that ‘mulatto half-breed’s existence’; are you saying that you failed to accomplish your own deed? My, my, Lady, which is it?” For whatever reservations Sakumo has from a decade ago, he cannot fault Dr. Benzaiten’s approach to handling this woman, who he finds less and less pleasant with each passing moment.

 The woman snarls, “Watch yourself Headman,” but the rest of the confrontation is lost to Sakumo as he and Dai pass out of hearing range. Sakumo can still      smell     the group though, ash and smoke, fallen leaves, sunlight, moss and bark, and something acrid that burned. Something festering and fungal, waiting to lash out.

 “Who was that?” He’s not looking for trouble, not really, but that was a clear and distinct threat and he’s got a sinking feeling that perhaps that is the sort of person the man at the hardware store was warning him about. He sneaks a look back, and the crowd has grown, the Doctor an unwavering pillar against their roiling, nearly unleashed rage, like a dark bulwark of light against the monsters in the shadows. He catches glimpses of fantastical outlines, antlers and twigs, and it must be something backwoods, small-society cultural to have such elaborate headdresses and accoutrements to their outfits.

 Dai grimaces, “They live around somewhere, and show up sometimes. Usually to talk to Dr. Benzaiten, or make a bargain. I’ve never heard someone else give them a name, as a group, but they make everyone uneasy.” That Dai hasn’t discluded himself is a massive red flag - Dai did his best to get along with everyone, after all. “Now, to paint! Yosh!” He bounds up the front steps with vigor usually found in men half his age.

 Sakumo sighs, and decides that he’d best concede the halls and powder room for painting if he wants any sort of sleep before going into work tomorrow.

 Day two in town has it’s perks - namely, the coffee machine in Dr. Benzaiten’s lab, and the many tissue dispensers, because there are so many conflicting smells his sinuses ache - and the ability to ask questions. “Was there ever a reasonable resolution to the ... discussion last night?”

 Dr. Benzaiten pauses in soldering electrical wires together, mouth hidden behind a sterile mask but his liquid gold eyes narrowed, evaluating, then widening. “Hold this.” He passes over a piece of quartz, milky white and occluded, gloves powdery still with nitrile. “You’re fire right? Or rather, lightning?”

 Sakumo is taken aback.“Er, yes?” He’s not sure what his magical affinity has to do with anything, but Small Lords of Ash and Smoke, eccentric academics are eccentric and Sakumo has nothing to lose by indulging something so minor.

 “Good, I need that charged. If you would.” His ponytail waves like a hypnotic onyx ribbon as he moves and maneuvers bits and pieces of electronics, wires, and various magical tools or various magical uses, and Sakumo idly wonders if it’s as soft and silk-like as it looks. “As to our... out of town friends, they are well aware that their previously overlooked ...      activities     are no longer so overlooked and have consequences.” Dr. Benzaiten’s eyes crinkle in what would be amusement if it weren’t for the dark satisfaction lurking in their depths. “Though that does remind me,” he fishes through a pile of papers offhandedly, before unearthing a pamphlet, “there is a guide to the general local quirks, especially in regards to our      oh so     friendly neighbors. Most of it boils down to ‘Don’t’; they have some ... antiquated ideas about equivalent exchange.”

 Sakumo decides it’s not worth derailing the conversation to discuss if that’s a Fullmetal Alchemist reference. “Is that why everyone gives them a wide berth?” He hands over the softly glowing crystal, and watches the sinuous grace with which Dr.Benzaiten pops it into a device and pushes various buttons. The machine whirs to life, fan whirling and spinning buzz that Sakumo has to forcibly phase into white noise. Perhaps he should see a doctor again, his ears have started to become more sensitive as well.

 Dr. Benzaiten tilts his head consideringly, assessing something of the readout, before shrugging elegantly, “Some people willingly interact, but their social norms are more strict than ours, and they often get themselves entangled in affairs well above their ability to handle.”

 “And then you have to fish them out.” The man is a decorated academic and researcher with the best University in the Elemental Nations, he’s got little to no other reason to be a Headman of a sleepy - for a given value of sleepy, since apparently the neighborhood is full of people  who consider murder fair play - hamlet in the backwoods - literally! Literature levels of murder in the wrong end of the Elemental Nations! - of Hi no Kuni.

 “And then I fish them out because they are mine and our neighbors aren’t allowed to mess with what’s mine.” And the decorated academic is possessive. Good to note, as it raises questions about where Sakumo stands. Highly uncomfortable questions. “Do try not to get yourself involved though, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure and all.”

 Sakumo isn’t going to argue the point - it’s true and he painfully knows from experience - and tucks the pamphlet into his uniform jacket for later perusal. How much could ‘Don’t’ cover anyways?

 The door to the lab is knocked at rapidly, and then the assistant, Nawaki, sticks his head in. “Dr. Benzaiten, there’s been - ”

 “Who was it this time, Nawaki? If it was Youko, please go tell her I refuse to -” Dr. Benzaiten doesn’t look up from where he’s returned to soldering connections on a breadboard.

 “Noboru. It’s Noboru. Please, sir, it’s urgent.” His grey-green eyes don’t waver, even when Dr. Benzaiten bolts upright, eyes alight with anger and righteous indignation.

 “Major, I won’t be back in the laboratory today, please take the rest of the day off.” It’s phrased like an order, like the ones Butsuma Senju used to give, that made everyone hurry to obey, and on instinct Sakumo nearly dos the same. It takes a moment to recognize that he’s heard wrong, and that checking that his sidearm is holstered is the wrong action to be taking, even though it’s perhaps more expedient given. The men are hurrying towards the door, and Sakumo hurries after them.

 “This situation, are you sure you won’t need backup?” Sakumo’s a military man, always has been. He’s good at achieving the best outcomes, and he won’t leave someone in trouble when he’s capable of helping. Especially if it’s as urgent as this sounds.

 “If I thought you impeccable aim and impressive ability to track would be of any use, Major, I would be telling you to come along. As it is, you aren’t versed in the protocols and you have a small child yourself. About the same age as Noboru. Go home to your son, Major, there’s nothing you can do here.” With that, the Doctor and his assistant rush out the door.

 Unfortunately, Sakumo hasn’t gotten to where he is in life without a good bit of skullduggery, skulking, and snooping. And while he’s entirely sure he is completely able to follow Dr. Benzaiten and Nawaki without being spotted, noticed, or otherwise caught, there is one thing universities and the government are better at doing than the military - paperwork. And Dr. Benzaiten is a researcher in Experimental and Theoretical Magic, which means he must keep a detailed log of everything. Thank the Fire God and all the Small Lords for red tape.

 Dr. Benzaiten is one who keeps everything in handwritten logs. Small blessings. It’s nothing to use the master key access he has for his own needs to access Dr. Benzaiten’s office, to find his logs. And while Dr. Benzaiten writes in a shorthand that’s as complex and near as impossible to read, almost worse than nearly-completely faded Ancient Scripts, Sakumo had minored in Ancient Scripts for a reason beyond its use in code breaking. There’s nothing better than writing a senior thesis on the regional and dialectic variants of the shorthand for certain elements in spell writing that ends up having uses later in life. Because Dr. Benzaiten is definitely using a southeastern Mizu no Kuni regionalization, the Marsh Witches High Cant. Last Sakumo had heard, that was a matrilineally passed language, and also long extinct. Out of academic interest, he copies a few pages, but keeps an ear trained on the noises in the office. He absolutely does not need to be caught.

 It seems at least once a week there’s mention of ‘’thrs’ or ‘o’t’rs’ - Cant for outsiders, those who are not of or belonging to a Witch, with belonging originating in terms of vassals but here more likely to mean the regular townsfolk. Much mention of the ‘Peer High One’ - the leader of the neighbors, then, since the Witches failed to recognize male leaders unless they were vassals of another Witch - and her casual cruelty. No mention of what she’s been up to though, just that she rules with an indiscriminate iron fist - Dr. Benzaiten makes mention of the woman taking out her whims on her own vassals - and      something    . Fire God and all the Small Lords, Sakumo can’t tell if the word is smudged, miswritten, or something completely made up.

 His senses sting, muscles freezing as his ears prick at the slight sound of footsteps limping forward on wood - there’s someone at the door. Sakumo can smell blooming blood, and the tangy-fizz of magic, and something      wild    . He reflexively calls up his magic, because Dr. Benzaiten wouldn’t end up here if he was covered in that much blood, so whomever has gotten themselves here is either a badly wounded friend or a blood covered foe. “Hello?”

 There’s no answer for a moment, and that’s worrying in all the wrong ways, until, “Doctor? Are you here?” That voice is definitely neither Dr. Benzaiten’s nor Nawaki’s, but something akin to an older woman’s only more soft, more weathered yet clear and solid and nothing like the sharp shard sound of the leader of the people who live outside of town. Sakumo cautiously opens the door, and starts. A woman, his age, or not much older, pale and nearly blended into her dog’s grey-white fur.

 “Ah, Doctor, Takao’s been - you’re not the Doctor.” Near instantaneously, he finds himself at the end of a blade and staring into grey-nearly-black eyes, the same as his and his son’s.

 “I’m working with Dr. Benzaiten. You said your dog was injured?” He won’t begrudge the woman seeking aid for her dog. Not when he himself has needed help to care for Fuzzy when he has active combat duty and she’s been injured.

 “Takao’s taken a nasty hex to the side, I’ve done my best to keep it from corrupting more of his flesh, but I’m no medic.” Together they both support the massive beast into the lab, the poor dog visibly flagging with the effort needed to limp along. “I didn’t know what else to do, the Lady is raging so, and none of the others would dare disobey her or undo her handiwork.”

 “But you did?” She’s right, this is a nasty hex, something slowly leaching Takao of life and energy, destroying his muscles and ligaments. Sakumo’s seen similar though, in the bloody genocide in Mizu no Kuni a few years back - an awful, prolonged, painful way to die - but there’s a salve. One some Inuzuka with the 5th regiment had made up, that smelled like fresh shit combined with fermenting fish and rotting corpses but      worked    .

 He’s fumbling around his belt pouches - he has several vials of the stuff, since it works on most hexes by dint of being every anti-hex ingredient in a paste - when she speaks measuredly, “I am both her most trusted lieutenant and the one she distrusts the most. For all my loyalty, she only sees daggers in the dark or what would amuse her best and pain me most.” As he applies a thick coating of the salve, she wrinkles her nose and gags, “Earth God’s fertile soil and its bounty, what      is     that?”

 Sakumo is inclined to agree - somehow the smell is worse that he remembers - and has to breathe through his mouth to stop himself from puking. “Salve, good on hexes.” He accidentally inhales through his nose and has to fight the tumultuous roil of his stomach attempting to rebel. “I still need to channel magic through it to make sure it penetrates the tissue properly and removes all the contamination.” To Takao, who has been laying on his side patiently, panting and whimpering his pain but not moving, “You’re doing so good boy, I’m almost done, then you can rest okay?”

 It takes a touch of magic only to activate the properties, fire, not water, to burn apart the bonds the hex uses to latch on to the body, uses in order to leach energy and life in order to feed its own. Water and it’s life won’t help here, no, fire needs to burn out the infection and that takes precision.The white-haired lady is hovering but motionless, and it prickles every instinct of his, to not bare the back of his neck to a stranger, to someone he does not recognize as his leader, and it’s easy enough to distract himself from such old intrusive thoughts, “Can you not depose her?”

 She hisses startled, “Don’t even speak of such things! Even here the Lady has ears waiting to report back what was said and done!” She holds her elbows, arms crossed yet spine straight, a commander wearing her strength like armor, though a plate or two is clearly cracked and her vulnerability is showing through. “Is it done?”

 Sakumo has removed as much as he could - the rest will burn out and off in the next few hours, but that will continue even after he stops running his magic through the salve. “It’s done. Let me wrap the area, and then you can be on your way.” He softly pets Takao’s head once more in silent praise, feeling vindicated when the dog pushes up gratefully into the press of his hand, then gets up to fetch the bandages from the first aid kit. Dr. Benzaiten could stand to lose a roll or two or linen gauze; he’s stocked for a small war.

 When he gets back, Takao blearily opens his ice blue eyes and noses at his wrists, whining lowly. The woman cradles his large head and whispers in his ears as she runs her hand down his neck soothingly. He finally ties off the bandages. “Leave them on for a day, just to be sure that the salve has completely gotten rid of everything.”

 The woman and dog rise, the dog listing and the woman obviously supporting him. “I will not forget your kindness, wolf-souled one. I owe you a life debt.”

 The alarm bells in Sakumo’s head are ringing wildly, Dr. Benzaiten’s warnings running through his head. He has to bite his tongue to stop himself from telling her it was nothing, wracks his brain to think of something,      anything    to say. Finally he settles on, “Sakumo. My name. It’s Sakumo.”

 The woman smiles and it is warm and softly sunlight, “Sayaka. And this one is called Takao. Well met, Sakumo the Wolfling.”

 “Well met, Sayaka.” He wants to ask how he went from ‘wolf-souled’ to ‘Wolfling’ but decides it might have to do with social hierarchy the people who live around town use, and that’s probably not worth the headache.

 She leaves into the orange-red twilight, and Sakumo can’t help but think that there’s something so much worse going on here than whatever the town believes, whatever that Dr. Benzaiten believes - has them believe?

 There’s only one thing to do.

 “A      what?    ” Dr. Benzaiten startles so hard the micropipette tip he’s been distractedly trying to jam onto the micropipette goes flying. Nawaki screeches quietly then rushes out dialing on his phone.

 “A date.” Sakumo had talked it over extensively with Dai, with Hisako, and with Kakashi  (and Gai, though Gai had cheered that dating was youthful, for which Sakumo would like to blame Dai preemptively before anything comes of that) and Fuzzy and Pakkun. The only one of those conversations that had gone well was with Kakashi, who had supportively suggested he get a guide on how to date since it had been literal years since he’d last gone on one. Dai and Hisako had exchanged glances, Dai wincing and Hisako gently mentioning that just because it had been nearly two years since-      since     - that he didn’t need to feel like he was rushing to pretend like he was done grieving. Really. Take his time and if Hisako needs to recommend a therapist, she’ll find one who’s willing to do appointments via Skype.

 Things hadn’t gotten better on that end when he’d explained he wanted to mine Dr. Benzaiten for information, thus necessitating a situation where he (Sakumo) could liberally apply alcohol and loosen his (Dr. Benzaiten’s) tongue and find out what the Twelve Hells is going on in this town. Maybe he hadn’t explained things right, but Dai had told him it was uncool to use some pretty young thing like that - which while Dr. Benzaiten is pretty, and young, he is just as guilty of having ulterior motives and Sakumo knows it - and Hisako had winced and made dandan noodles for dinner to express her distaste for the idea.

 It’s not his fault that Dr. Benzaiten is entirely too much to take on alone. “This isn’t a late retribution for the sexual harassment back then, is it?” His eyes are more purple eyeshadow than gold, suspicious and angry.

 “What?! No!” Sakumo is quick to assure him it’s not that at all.

 “Not a prank, or otherwise meanly meant?” At this one Sakumo has to internally wince, because he has ulterior motives but he isn’t pursuing it with malice intended.

 Still he soldiers on. “No.”

 Dr. Benzaiten unhooks his face mask to reveal pursed lips, flush high on his diamond cut cheekbones, “Are you attempting entrapment via relationship so I am forced to take you along on Headman duties so that you can reasonably discharge your duties as my overseeing officer for the Army?” A single emerald painted fingertip taps pointedly against the top of the lab bench.

 He runs that through that sentence a few times, because it’s just convoluted enough to make sense, but not so convoluted there isn’t a right answer. “While that’d be a great way to do that, I’m pretty sure that’s morally wrong and for a different type of mission than this, also, no.” Sakumo smiles pleasantly, the one that crinkles his eyes just so, and pushes his hands into his pockets, relaxed. He can practically see the wheels turning in the doctor’s head. “Unless we’re doing International Incidents again?”

 As if it’s reflexive, Dr. Benzaiten snaps, “That was      entirely     Kagami’s fault, and you know it Jiraiya!” There’s a moment of dead quiet, then Dr. Benzaiten’s eyes widen in horror.

 Sakumo raises his eyebrows, notes both names for later research, but grins quicksilver mischief and says, “Not even one date and you’re calling me by another man’s name? That’s certainly fast, doctor.” At the wildfire flush running unchecked across pale skin, the sheer mortification made public, Sakumo eases, “If you’re actually that uncomfortable - “

 “Tonight. 8pm. The izakaya off the main square. We’ll split the bill, so don’t get any funny ideas. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go wrangle a phone from my assistant and try to yell one of my best friends down from an aneurysm over the phone.” Flush still riding high, the doctor glides quickly out of the room, lab coat billowing like a flag in the wind.

 Sakumo’s going to chalk that up as a win, even if that win is slightly questionable. Now to figure out the highest proof alcohol the izakaya sells, and make sure Kakashi knows to go to the Maito’s tonight. He’s not throwing away his shot.

 Fuzzy insists upon joining him that evening, and Sakumo, not willing to risk being late by having to fight a 300+ pound apex predator trained by the military, gives in and resigns himself to her coming along. She follows close beside him, stopping to sniff fences and lampposts as well as thoroughly investigate the public fountain in the corner of the square, plus or minus some rather aggressive squirrels. They must give the squirrels steroids or the like, given the way they hiss - which, since when did squirrels hiss? - and flicker their tails irately. That is some power tail flicking.  

 All in all Fuzzy makes an utter nuisance of herself on the walk over, but settles down when they meet Dr. Benzaiten at the door to the izakaya. “Doctor. Good evening.” Sakumo slides open the door gallantly. Fuzzy slips past like a large white shadow and pants happily from just inside the door.

 He’s met by a pointedly arched eyebrow, silently judgemental, “Orochimaru, please. I must insist.” Orochimaru glides past anyways entering the premises easily. He greets the hostess easily, and they immediately get lead to a private booth. “So tell me, why exactly should I inform my best friends that you do not deserve to be pummeled into a pate for even looking at me sideways?”

 Sakumo accepts the bottle of shochu from the waitress - prearranged after much deliberation between classy low stakes alcohol, like shochu or sake versus hangover inducing soju -careful to nod his thanks rather than speak it. “I do hope I’ve not given the impression that I’m that much of an asshole so quickly. ”

 Orochimaru’s lips twitch, “Fair enough. Now that I’ve gotten my required question out of the way, the crux of the matter, Why      did     you ask me out?” He accepts the proffered glass of shochu, and they both sip at the sweet white sweet potato shochu. It’s tasty, perhaps fish will pair well, but possibly green beans or yakitori.

 Sakumo thinks it over before answering, “You’re intriguing, and pretty. Should there be more to it?” Perhaps he’s getting the hang of telling the truth while also hiding his real intent. A scary yet exciting thought. Maybe he could go full on James Bond, super spy. Except James Bond was Navy, the soggy-bottomed loser. Maybe a whole new type of super spy? One who’s not a functioning alcoholic, for one.

 “Call me pretty and give me non watered down shochu,” Orochimaru toasts him over the rim of his glass, “You, sir, are playing dirty.”

 “Then I shall continue playing dirty.” Sakumo tosses back the rest of the shochu and refills Orochimaru’s glass. “How did Noboru fare in the end?”

 “Little Noboru was      snatched     out of his cradle by our dearest neighbors and their Lady has the gall to pretend like no one knows who did it and on whose orders.” Orochimaru runs a finger around the rim of his glass; Sakumo has no choice but to listen to it sing with his hearing acting as funky as it is. “Luckily Manda managed to help make the point clear that the Lady isn’t welcome to simply trapeze around like she’s the Queen of these parts anymore. Now you, what do you get up to when you’re not      lounging     around my laboratory?” Manda hopefully, stayed at home and isn’t anywhere near the establishment.

 Sakumo smiles, “I usually spend time with my son.” He fishes for his phone and swipes through the photos until he finds his favorite, “Kakashi. He’s 7, and a little genius. That’s his puppy Pakkun.” The pug is curled up in Kakashi’s lap like a small furry ball, barely visible.

 Orochimaru coos appropriately at the picture of Kakashi solving basic calculus equations, then freezes warily asks, “And your wife?”

 Sakumo lets the wash of ice cold sadness pour over him then exhales, slow and even, “She passed.” He forces himself to shrug, “Modern medicine is a miracle, but even that can’t fix metastasized cancer in the magic pathways.”

 “I’m sorry for your loss.” It’s sincere, for what that’s worth. For all Orochimaru is clearly playing a dangerous game with the people who live around the town, at least he’s not a complete sociopath. A stiff silence falls, and Sakumo tries to think of how to get it back on topic. Fire God’s Eternal Flame, he wasn’t the best dater around and he knew it. Why was this the plan again?

 The waitress comes around to take their orders, and once she’s left Sakumo tries again, “So what brought you out here initially?”

 “To shorten a needlessly complex story, my teacher won a grant to do some work for the military, and since I was assisting, I came out here with him. When his work was successfully completed, he left but I had unusual results that wouldn’t or couldn’t be replicated elsewhere in the world, so I left and came back to set up my lab. And now I mainly do research plus some work for the military as they find projects they need my expertise on.”

 “Fascinating. And the ... friendly folk who live outside of town? How long have they been a problem?” Sakumo tops up both their glasses, though he’s been carefully pretending to drink instead of actually drinking.

 “Mmm, about the same length of time, though they are usually quickly dealt with.” Their food arrives, small plates meant for sharing. “I have better things to do than to deal with their nonsense.”

 “Are they usually targeting those who live here or each other?”

 Orochimaru’s face twists, “Whatever catches their eye and suits the flavor of their cruelty for the moment. The Lady will target those among her people, and it’s disgusting. She has favorites to target, and one of them reminds me of you. Hair color, eye color, massive dogs like the wolf in      Princess Mononoke    had puppies.” He twirls a piece of yakitori contemplatively, before pointing the skewer suddenly at Sakumo. “Kind, earnest, honest, humble, loyal to a fault.” Sakumo knows his surprise is coloring his face, at the description his commanding officers have used to describe him since time immemorable, and Orochimaru’s smirk is triumphant, “You didn’t expect me to do my own research on you?”

 “There’s nothing particularly interesting to know about me,” Sakumo demures, because it’s true. He’s a single parent to a genius child who’s only doing his best to make sure his last living family member is healthy and happy.

 “Liar, liar, pants on fire, Mr. Youngest-Highly-Decorated-Major-In-the-Special-Operations-Division. You’re also in the running to make Colonel soon.”

 “And you have nearly as many patents as your teacher, the second most in the world.” Sakumo should’ve saved that as ammunition for later, but he can’t regret the faint pink spots that rise on Orochimaru’s pale face. He really is pretty, which is an unconventional descriptor for a male, but also intelligent and not shy about it. A little loose tongued under the effect of alcohol, but that’s to be expected when you have three un-watered glasses with no food to cushion the shock to  the system. Sakumo feels the sinking stone of guilt in his lower abdomen, the heavy rocks of regret weighing down his tongue. Perhaps this really was a bad idea.

 “I surmise that this is your first foray back into the dating pool, then?” Orochimaru’s eyes have sharpened and Sakumo wonders if perhaps he hasn’t stumbled into some sort of trap.

 The only thing to do though, is be honest. He scratches his cheek abashed, “Ahhh, what gave me away?” Under the table, Fuzzy snuffles about, as if she smells something intriguing, but Sakumo disregards that in favor of watching Orochimaru and the phases his eyes change through      eureka    -      satisfaction-regard-intrigue     lightning fast.

 They finally settle on a glimmer of laughter - still not mean, just teasing mischief meant without malice. “Beyond the fact we just had a conversation over drinks that can be primarily and  summarily described as ‘business oriented’, your phone keeps getting texts from someone named Dai sending you dating tips.” And this is why Sakumo doesn’t keep his phone on silent, Fire God forsake it. He can feel the fire of his blush all the way to the roots of his hair. “Don’t worry, I’m flattered. It’s not everyday someone decides all your various patents and magical skills mean you’re safe enough to test the dating pool with again.”

 “A certain International Incident, if I recall correctly, marks you as very dangerous.” A set of eyebrows rise, astonishment, interest, and smug pride conveyed with so little, and Sakumo hurries to continue before things get wildly out of hand, “But ‘dangerous’ ... is interesting. I like dangerous things.” He replays what he just said in his head, and wrestles with the mortification rising from the depths of his soul. Open mouth and insert foot. While it’s not      untrue    , even when applied to Orochimaru - he is pretty and lethal, considering what he may or may not have accomplished a decade ago against immortal hitmen - Sakumo suspects that a) he’s not supposed to come right right out and say it, and b) when did that become less than a total lie? Even as he turns it over and over in his head in the silence that follows, he can’t say it’s untrue - from what he knows about Orochimaru he’s prone to protectiveness, possessiveness, sharp wit, and carries himself with a lethal sort of grace. None of those are necessarily deal breaker things, nor is his penchant for trouble and being in the center of it - glass houses and those who live in them and such.

 Orochimaru shakes himself free of his excellent mimicry of a deer in the headlights. “That’s quite - I must myself admit that I find dangerous things also attractive.” His face is pointedly facing away, and all Sakumo can see are the sinuous snake earrings dangling from Orochimaru’s loose waterfall of midnight hair.

 “Ah.” Sakumo covers with a deep drink of his shochu. Mmmm distilled sweet potato alcohol. Refreshing and if Sakumo has enough of it, he won’t be able to recall any of this. Fuzzy sneezes thrice in quick succession and harrumphs before settling down. He’s not sure if that’s Fuzzy making fun of him or the situation or both.

 The silence that falls is awkward. Sakumo clears his throat and opens, “Maybe it’s better to stick to work talk or small talk?”

 “Agreed.” Orochimaru nods once. “How are you finding our sleepy little town?”

 “Are you asking as Headman or...?” Sakumo pulls off a piece of chicken from the yakitori stick. This garners no response, so Sakumo hedges his bet and goes a fifty-fifty split. “The area is nice, really, like something out of a fantasy novel, but ‘sleepy’ isn’t how I would describe it.”

 “You have nothing to fear of the kindly neighbors who like to kick up a fuss, truly; their Lady just likes trying to test the constraints of her power every now and again.” Orochimaru’s mouth thins and his nose wrinkles in distaste. Whether it’s at the woman called Lady refusing to recognize that Orochimaru is the new big dog in town after all this time, or at the pickled daikon - which is too pickled for Sakumo’s taste - but it’s clear the situation is a thorn in his side. How far he’ll go to deal with such a threat is an unknown, but Sakumo sincerely hopes it’s after his work here is done.

 “Yet she orders children snatched and hurts her own people. Why hasn’t anyone usurped her yet?” Because Sayaka had admitted to having reservations about her leader, and Sayaka couldn’t be the only one.

 “Power. She’s owed enough favors and promises that moving against her would be likely suicide. For them, her word is law and that’s all they’ve likely ever known.” Orochimaru shrugs one shoulder as if to say ‘what can you do?’

 It’s a fair point. Power often dictated societal morals in Sakumo’s experience, and often those with power had no morals, or if they did they - either the person or the morals didn’t last long. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. Perhaps it would be worth looking into having this Lady classified as a direct threat to the safety and wellbeing of the people of Hi no Kuni, so Sakumo could take her out and restore some peace of mind here. Something to ask the Major when he calls for his weekly report in. He’s got enough first-hand evidence of the direct threat she poses, and it wouldn’t be the worst thing he’s ever done.

 “You know, I’ve always wondered - ,” Orochimaru breaks Salumo out of his plotting, but himself gets broken off by the trill of his phone. “Apologies, someone must have put in the override code.” He checks the caller id, then vigorously swipes the “End Call” button on a “Kagami” - the second time Sakumo has heard that name, now he’s curious. “Wondered - ,” the phone rings again, once again Kagami. Orochimaru bristles, then angrily swipes the ‘accept call’ button, “      What?    ” If tone of voice could kill, this Kagami fellow would be dead 17 times over with just a word. Impressive.

 Whatever this Kagami is saying, it’s sing-song and gleeful, but too muffled by static and speed of talking for Sakumo to clearly make out the words. He does catch an ‘I told you so,’ and virulent laughter, though what this Kagami told Orochimaru and how it’s come true Sakumo has no clue. Sakumo can see the steady throb of Orochimaru’s temple slowly gaining speed, though, and worries for this Kagami fellows life expectancy.

 Sakumo grabs a napkin and slowly writes out, ‘Perhaps we should reschedule?’ Orochimaru takes a moment to read the note and then viciously shakes his head in denial.

 “Kagami, if you must know I am very busy right now. Yes, on a date. I know you know that because Jiraiya probably blabbed at poker night, and I know you know that I       know     about that time with the centrifuge toast      and     the turducken in the autoclave incident. I think perhaps Dean Senju would be interested in learning about those, hnm?” Fire God’s eternal flame, that’s vicious. Yet, clearly blackmail has it’s uses. Sakumo is conflicted between disapproving and admiring the elegant solution.

 Kagami is still speaking, but Orochimaru hangs up. “My sincerest apologies, Dr. Uchiha thought that was an emergency.” He glances at his phone when it rings again, and looks taken aback. “It’s far too late now. You have to pick up your child from Captain Maito’s correct?”

 Sakumo checks the time himself, and winces at the 45 text messages from Dai. Small Lords and Heavenly Courts preserve him. “Yes. I do need to get Kakashi.” He had collected some of  the information that he aimed for tonight, and some other ones more besides.

 “It’ll be fastest if I take you. Come.” He pushes up from the booth with easy grace, signalling for the waitress to bring the check to the front.

 Sakumo follows, trailing Fuzzy like a fluffy fluffy banner. “Er, did you have a motorbike I missed?”

 Orochimaru glances at him, then the check before swiping his card. “No something better.” They step outside, Sakumo about to protest the fact that the bill is very certainly      not split    , when the world turns to a swirl of light streaks and colors.

 Sakumo is glad it’s Saturday and that he can sleep off the combined hangover and migraine from the previous evening. Because apparently the migraine is a potential hazard of teleportation. Space-time compression. Something. Kakashi prods the bag of ice on Sakumo’s head to refreeze it, then nestles down again beside him. Sakumo warms with pride - or a hot flash, jury’s out on which - at the skill his son is already showing in magic. Fuzzy is curled around him on his bed, and Pakkun is somewhere in this tangle of fur and limbs. It’s a morning that would best be spent recalling the sheer excitement and delight on Kakashi’s face when he experienced the Teleportation spell for himself, or sleeping in, but all he can think about is the color of liquid gold by gas light and the Lady.

 And with his senses on full blast, overheating and lacking the will to extract himself from the puppy pile thrown together on his bed, even thinking leaches him of his last bit of energy.

 He goes in circles, until his thoughts are a well worn track anchoring him in the sensation overload that are his senses failing to remain at normal, until he falls into an exhausted sleep that is full of cruel laughter and blood coated in gold. Sakumo wakes to Dai shaking his shoulder, and can recall none of it but the unsettling feeling of being watched.

 In deference to his still throbbing migraine, Dai opts to whisper as he delivers Hisako’s cure-all tomato soup. “Dr. Benzaiten showed you the Teleportation seal in action?!”

 Sakumo can’t summon the energy to do more than tilt his head in question, and then mentally chide himself because now he knows      exactly     where Kakashi picked that up. “It’s only to be used in extreme cases, the doctor and his teacher found when they were developing it that it thinned the spaces between worlds. Or made reality fragile? Possibly caused one subject’s insides to become outsides, but that could have been something else.” Dai really isn’t helping. Thanks Dai.

 He and Kakashi spend the rest of the day sleeping in, surfacing every once and again to shift around; Sakumo can swear he feels a gentle hand pet over his head more than once, but it has to be wishful thinking. There’s no one there, after all.

 The following week passes quietly, Orochimaru makes no mention of Friday night or their discussion, but Sakumo can feel the weight of his gaze whenever Sakumo has reason to be at the lab. Which isn’t often enough, or even often at all. Sakumo dearly wishes he had more time at the lab, to weigh feelings against facts, to see if perhaps this researcher is someone he could find kinship and kindredness in, could date without pretense. His head says probably, his heart is wavering, and this mixed bag doesn’t help anything at all. That and the feeling there is someone watching him, watching his son. That might just be paranoia though.

 Commands from the capital have him setting up a secure communications lines, and reporting on the handful of military families stationed out here. There’s discussion of having a training base set up out here, which would require he and Dai to scout out the terrain and the obstacles. Sakumo feels like Central won’t appreciate if he says ‘crazy people who live in the forest’ as an obstacle, no matter how serious he is on that count. Dai thinks they should put it down anyways, but Dai is also earnest and faithful and sometimes fails to consider the fact that perhaps they      should     have trainees chased by crazy people on the orders of a madwoman. If they sign the consent form, they’re fair game for whatever gets thrown at them.

 That might just be Sakumo’s bitterness talking though; Colonel Shimura had spoken at length of peaceful military-civilian interactions, and that the Headman of the village would handle and continue to handle the situation and report to the government if necessary and that Sakumo was not to overstep his authority or tread on the toes of the locals by taking out the neighbor’s leader. Which is frankly idiotic since the Headman is a military scientist and protecting their asset and his work is his primary objective. If Sakumo ever becomes Colonel and Shimura gets ousted, he’s going to clean up the red tape and use common sense to lead, he swears it on the Fire God’s Eternal Flame. So mote it be lest his soul be consigned to eternal damnation in the Fire God’s Hells.

 He’s so consumed by the massive dump of tasks the Colonel sends his way that he almost doesn’t notice how eerily quiet the town becomes. Like everyone is huddled indoors, away from windows or doors, just waiting for the danger to pass. His senses ratchet up and catch on every slightest noise, every pin drop. It’s like waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it’s been in the works too long and everything is a giant exposed nerve twisted up in knots and trembling with barely restrained potential energy, ready to explode.

 The phone ringing in the midst of all that tension should have been his sign. His phone ringing has never ended well for Sakumo, that the ringtone was even audible in the first place ought to have given him pause.

 He knows the voice on the other end of the line, “Major Hatake? This is Principal Takahashi -” His hands shake as he listens, and then his world bursts. He doesn’t know what to do - should he spring into action; should he wait for the authorities to arrive; should he scream and keep screaming?

 The decision is taken out his hands when his heart starts racing uncontrollably, his hearing sharpening until all noise is shrill and shrieky, his nose catching every scent in the vicinity, his jaw      aching     with the strain of something Sakumo cannot put a name to. A stringent voice snaps out orders, the phone tugged free of his hand and a third voice speaking. He feels more than hears the distressed whine of Fuzzy, the fingers against the pulse in his wrist and then the firm, cold hands against his chest, cold hands pressing one of his hands to a thin chest to match his breathing to. It doesn’t help, doesn’t fix the screaming in his ears or the flood of information or the bone deep pain that blooms and blooms and      blooms    . More commands  Something falls out of his mouth as he gasps for air, and he dimly realizes it’s one of his front canine teeth. First one, then another, then another, they tinker to the floor like something from a nightmare, and something sharper pushes out of his gums, filling his mouth with blood. Bones shift and move and sharpen, and if Sakumo thought he’d be able to draw breath he’d scream with the pain of it. Fuzzy pushes into his chest as if she can headbutt out the      wrongness     and circles him protectively, anxious and defensive.

 Then one by one the pains fade, plateauing. Sakumo finds himself staring into sharp gold eyes as he shakily inhales, holds, and exhales, and he wants nothing more than to collapse against those deceptively thin shoulders and weep. What he gets instead is a hard slap across the face, and virulent cursing from Orochimaru as he cradles the hand he used to slap Sakumo. “Get yourself together Major!” A fuzzy iridescent green glow encases Orochimaru’s hand, and Sakumo can      smell     the way the hurt eases.

 “What’s happened to me?” He wonders how he can even croak that much out when - when this is the ultimate nightmare scenario. The thing that haunts his dreams more than his first kill or the last rattling breath Chiasa breathed in that grey beige hospital room.

 Orochimaru, clearly not a believer in sympathy for those having a life-changing paradigm shift in worldview, forces him to his feet, then into Fuzzy for support. “I believe our fair neighbors would call it manifesting. Come on, we can chat as we move. Time is of the essence.”

 Nothing makes sense and everything is haywire. But it’s easy enough to fall in step with Orochimaru, who moves like a soldier headed into a standoff with a mission they aim to complete, no matter the cost. “Manifesting?”

 “Coming into one’s ... inheritance? Power? Whatever it is that marks our fair friends as something      other    .”

     “Other     meaning what exactly, beyond someone not from in town?”

 Orochimaru narrows his eyes dangerously. “We are later going to discuss the fact you can read Marsh Witch High Cant, Major, and the repercussions of going through my logs. For now,      Other     means the ones who have your son. Can you track him at all, Ranger?” Impatient, but now that Orochimaru mentions it, Sakumo can smell traces of his son, of      wild-sunlight-sprint-mischief    , and suddenly he’s moving.

 First it’s a quick walk, then a faster trot, a jog, then it’s the most natural thing in the world to flat out run. He can catch traces of      wild-sunlight-sprint-mischief     that is Kakashi, and can track it by nose alone, on the fly, and it’s exhilarating. Fuzzy sprints beside him, keeping pace easily with her long loping stride, pausing only momentarily to sniff through the air currents of the forest as it grows more dense and tightly grown, but it’s nothing to duck and weave and course correct with his every sense      singing.    The only hitch comes when he hits something of a wall. It’s not a wall, per se,  more alike to a convoluted piece of Ancient Script he hasn’t quite parsed the base of. But the scent of his son does go beyond it, that much he’s sure of.

 Orochimaru catches up, breathless. “Oh, Air God and the Heavenly Winds,      a trod    . Of course,      a trod    .” His omnipresent crystal bead bangle clacks as Orochimaru begins forming handsigns, but Sakumo stops him.

 “You punch through with magic the trod will ... collapse.” Sakumo hopes he’s reading the runes floating around correctly. It’s either collapse or destroy itself, but the result is still the same. There’d be no finding Kakashi. Something about the word      trod     itches at his brain, but Sakumo ignores it because      his son    . His son is in the hands of a monster, and he will rip her throat out with his      teeth     if he has to in order to get Kakashi back safe.

 “The only other option is to go Underhill and confront the Lady directly, which will mean we can’t surprise her and steal your son back before she notices.” Pale strong arms cross defensively, and as much as Sakumo agrees, there’s nothing to be done. He doesn’t even know where to begin with this ...      Veil     without at least two different reference texts, which could take hours to translate, filter for junk, translate again, and undo. They just      don’t     have the time. Orochimaru must see something of this resolve, and sighs resigned before grinning darkly. “Underhill it is. Let’s go make an Incident shall we, my sweet?”

 Sakumo bares his teeth in a parody of a grin, “Of course, let’s do what we do best.”

 Perhaps Sakumo should have checked that they were on the same page about what constitutes an “Incident”, since his version is kicking down doors and subduing people (killing them if only necessary), and Orochimaru’s just disintegrated his fourth person. “Are you even trying for survivors, Beautiful?”

 Orochimaru flexes his fingers testily, “First of all, never use “beautiful” as a pet name again. Second, letting anyone get away to raise the alarm at this juncture would be counterproductive as a scare tactic.” He whirls in a elegant movement to catch a leaping assailant - one with cat eyes and a tail and a truly horrific amount of serrated teeth - in the face. With a puff of magic, ink scrawls out across their face with a acidic hiss, then with a sickening scream they dissolve to so much ash and dust. Well, Sakumo can’t say he’s surprised, he’s long known Orochimaru is dangerous and not just superficially. Fuzzy rumbles low in her throat and licks some of the bright red blood off her well-coated muzzle.

 “But wouldn’t the scream make any nominal attempt at stealth moot?” He moves with a surprising amount of speed and finesse for the way his body’s muscles react a touch too fast, catching a whirling white blade with his reinforced gloves and then collapsing magic paths and deadening nerves with precise hits. Sakumo catches the blade before it falls to the floor, and after a cursory inspection, straps it to his side. Useful weapons were few and far between after all. Fuzzy races ahead, engaging with enemies unseen before they can spring their traps.

 Orochimaru had led them through an opening in a knotted series of branches and roots into a set of underground tunnels, but Sakumo had the disorienting feeling that the path they had taken was somehow bigger than the thicket had seemed from the outside. And things that had previously seemed obscure had finished unearthing themselves from Sakumo’s recollections. Still he’d like to wait for a little more confirmation -

 Sakumo catches the soft twang of a bow and easily slices the arrow in half, lets Orochimaru fire off a cyclone of scalep sharp air blades and inferno hot flames over his head to the hidden archer as he parries a longsword that rose up from the ground like an assassin’s blade. Their steadily smoothing ability to work together like a well-oiled machine - or a danse macabre for two, considering the bodies littering their path - makes Sakumo’s Ranger missions look like toddlers learning to walk. It’s like playing a MMORPG as a rogue with an exceptionally skilled mage laying down cover fire; he can’t keep back a feral snarl of unadulterated pleasure, if these lackeys thought they could go and kidnap Kakashi and get away with it then they were surely learning otherwise. The hard way, as Sakumo bisects some twig-figure’s legs at the knee. A ripple up his spine; danger there, move      now     -

 A blistering wave of lava rushes towards where they last were, Sakumo throwing them both bodily out of the way and into an antechamber clearly lit by sunlight. He ducks and rolls low as Orochimaru throws up a barrier with a fluid series of handsigns and follows it up with a harsh burst of wind to cool and harden the lava into an impassable door. It’s as simple as breathing to come up with his blade bared, Fuzzy growling, teeth exposed, ears high and fur bristling like a matched set.

 “And so you’ve come for the halfbreed, Headman.” The woman he’d last seen at the forum is seated on what can only be a throne, lavish with gold and jewels and surrounded by women holding pitchers and platters of food. “And you bring a second one with you.” Her sneer is poisonous, her hatred noxious, and Sakumo bares his teeth at her.

 “Halfbreed or not, you took one of my children, Lady, and we both know that is not something I will accept.” Orochimaru’s magic wreaths him like a second skin, a suit of armor made of scales. “Return him with no harm and I may be inclined to leniency.”

 Sakumo finally accepts that this is his reality as the woman rises, unnaturally lithe but eyes fully black and hair thick twists of vine and bone and wood and fur and leaf and antler that shift arrangement as if of their own accord. “Your leniency is a falsehood, Snake-souled Orochimaru, for you know only calculation. Didn’t your tales tell you not to lie to a Fae? Or insult a Fae Queen? You are in my domain now, Headman and Wolf, not neutral ground. The very essence of Underhill obeys      me    .” As if to prove her point, vines thicker than a all-terrain vehicle shoot up out of nowhere and bind Sakumo tight to the walls, narrowly miss catching Orochimaru but tie Fuzzy to the floor. If he struggles, the vines tighten.

 As if by design, the balconies and hidden galleries fill up with a vast assortment of strange and fantastic shapes and forms, more than Sakumo can count. Their noise fills his ears though, and their smells. Far too many of them smell of things Sakumo cannot name, does not want to face by smell alone.

 As if it’s less than a mere though, Orochimaru torches the remaining vines, letting the woman’s shrieks pass over him. “While it’s true I’ve entered your land, and have come into your Mound, Lady, you’ve broken oath. What’s that they say about lying and oath breaking?” His smile is placid, but screams of being caught red handed.

 “I have broken no oath, Headman. I have made no promise to you I have not kept.” Her snarl is rabid with rage, fury made real by the way flames gout and gutter up from thin air.

 Orochimaru tilts his head like he’s indulging a child’s tantrum. “The man and his progeny are mine. You said you would not harm those I have claimed as my own. Yet, you’ve caused the man great distress, and probably the child as well. You have broken faith by causing harm to me and mine.”

 The woman scoffs, “I have greater and first claim on their lives, they are of my people and thus mine to treat as I please. This is the truest truth I know, and you know it too.”

 Sakumo knows that set of Orochimaru’s shoulders, that shift of weight from one leg to another, and is not disappointed. Orochimaru is out for blood, and this will be the start of the end. “Yet, Lady, this is not the only oath that I speak of. You yourself said you laid the halfbreed to eternal rest and that has been proven false, Lady.”

 She starts. “What do you speak of, Headman?”

 Orochimaru clears his throat, “Lady, once upon a time you said you had been betrayed by your closest handmaiden, who loved another more than you, and thus conceived a child. Among you and yours, children are rare, and much beloved as symbols of the depth and strength of the devotion between the parents. You, Lady, were so enraged that you plotted to have the child and it’s father slaughtered, to cast out your most trusted attendant in disgrace as punishment. But, when the time came, something went wrong, and the child never died. The man and his child escaped your clutches, but you bathed yourself in their scents and glamored blood upon yourself and came back in false triumph. You cast your attendant into the Wild Hunt as their leader as punishment and have used her as your whipping post since.”

 “Wild conjecture.”

 “Ah, but Lady, I have proof. You’ve managed to tie him up, but the man you call Wolf is that child. And since he lives, the oath your swore to your attendant that you killed her husband and child is a lie. That is the promise I speak of.”

 Sayaka and Takao stumble out of one of the hidden alcoves, eyes wide and shining. A heavy hush has stilled even the most quiet of rustles from the crowd, like they are waiting for something. Now that she is away from the crowd, Sakumo can smell her most clearly.      Wild-sunlight-sprint    , heavily influenced by a deep seated grief and the iron tang of steel. He can tell the moment that she smells his scent, notes the similarities that Sakumo has long since figured out marks blood-kin. “Lady,      why    .” Sayaka tightens her grip on her tanto as if her resolve had hardened even as her voice broke with barely restrained emotion, and Takao falls still, waiting.

 The Lady does not respond, merely shrieks banshee-like and throws massive fireballs across the room. Sayaka moves, her and Takao so synchronous in their movements it’s like watching a ballet of flashing blades and snapping jaws. Orochimaru appears by his side, a thin gust of wind cutting through the vines holding Sakumo tight. By his side, a large purple snake tastes the air, slowly growing before Sakumo’s very eyes. “Hurry, find Kakashi. I will stay here and aid Sayaka as I can.” Fuzzy whines conflicted, like she could stand to take a shot herself at the Lady, but also to see Kakashi and ensure he’s unhurt.

 “Come on girl,” Sakumo asks, because he’s afraid. He’s afraid and angry and there are powers he cannot match at work here, given the way the earth and walls tremble and the air shivers. And, apparently, his mother. Who is very clearly not human, not with the way her teeth are wolf-sharp and her ears are delicately pointed, and not dead like he had always been lead to assume. With one last guilty whine, Fuzzy comes to heel by Sakumo as they resume trailing Kakashi. His stomach twists as the scent of his son gets stronger, as it floods with pain and fear and his subconscious howls in outrage, with the need to race back and take every ounce of this feeling out of the Lady, out of anyone who laid a hand on Kakashi.

 It’s clear to see that the rest of Underhill has been deserted, or more rather only left guarded by small hunched figures that barely come up to Sakumo’s knees and skitter away in fear when Sakumo bares his teeth and growls in their direction. The only one who gathers up the guts to hurl a crude wooden spear gets that same spear through the skull in quick retribution and the rest of it’s gathered mob scatters into the dank hallways like so many cockroaches from the light.

 Finally something breaks in Underhill, ripples and shifts and warps in some intrinsic manner Sakumo cannot place but that straightens the halls from their previous winds and wanders, lifts the deep pockets of dark in favor of something less gothic. More importantly, perhaps is the distinct muffled grunting Sakumo hasn’t heard in so long. “Kakashi!”

 His hair is matted with sweat, his skin pallid, and his scarf in tatters. The urge to snarl and bite and      tear flesh from bones     is back, and Sakumo swallows it down in favor of ripping apart the chains hanging Kakashi’s thin wrists above his head, to pressing ice to the swollen and sore flesh revealed, and holding Kakashi close as his whimpers of pain slow. “Dad?”

 It’s the first time Sakumo has heard his son’s voice in years, and it’s slightly slurred and hoarse. “Yeah, baby, it’s me.” Fuzzy noses around them, concern clear in her low tail and flat ears. “You’re safe now, I’ve got you.” Sakumo presses closer, nose near buried in Kakashi’s hair, and feels the tension coiling in his muscles ease as the distress bleeds out of Kakashi’s scent. Kakashi’s muddy and bruised and probably ought to see a medical doctor as soon as possible, but Sakumo wants more to just hold his son. “Fuzzy, lead us out of here.”

 It’s easier now, to follow the neat slink of Fuzzy through the corridors. Sakumo can smell that there have been creatures of not insignificant power passing through the halls recently, catches glimpses of them, but they seem to be fleeing instead of confronting Sakumo. He still doesn’t put away the tanto he reappropriated, not until the arrive at the rubble and ruin of the chamber where Sakumo had left the Lady.

 Orochimaru is covered in grime and dust, a little blood, but the color is high in his cheeks and his eyes are bright with excitement, and he’s perched on the head of a massive snake. Sayaka outright glitters with power, covered in blood, and is ripping chunks from the Lady’s corpse to stack into a what’s shaping up into a throne. As for the Lady, she’s ripped to shreds, eviscerated, face contorted in a rictus of pain and horror, her throat gaping open from what is clearly wolf teeth. Whether they were Sayaka or Takao is unclear, but Sakumo feels a grim pleasure at the sight. May she rot in the Lady of Death’s embrace for eternity.

 Sayaka’s head lifts up as a fresh and clean breeze passes through the room. Takao rises from where he’s been hidden in the shadow of the throne, and their gazes together zeros in on Sakumo and Kakashi like a laser guided shot.

 “Oh good, you’ve found the puppy. Hello puppy.” Orochimaru glides over, picking over the larger chunks of rubble like they’re minor annoyances. Kakashi wriggles out of Sakumo’s grip and to the floor, yet hovers close to Sakumo - not comfortable being coddled in front of strangers, however cool, but not yet sure to leave his father. Takao slinks over, eyes large and pleading and amusing in the way he tries to shrink several hundred pounds into something nonthreatening. Sayaka follows cautiously after.

 Now that Sakumo is looking for it, he can see more than just eye color and hair color that they share. There are traces of smile lines that bracket her mouth, the mole on the hinge of her jaw that Sakumo and Chiasa had both wondered where that trait had come from in Kakashi, the wild hope in dark grey eyes that maybe she wasn’t so alone anymore.

 They talk long through the day and well into the night, about the years they have missed and the lives unknown and the little things Sakumo had never heard before and aches to know he missed. The way Sayaka had tried to hunt him and his father down over and over and over but never could catch a trace of them, finally accepted that the Lady had told the truth and they were dead; the way Kakashi had woken one day with deep jaw pain and a mouthful of blood and found himself with wolf teeth instead of normal human ones; the soft story of how Sayaka had met his father and fallen in love. In some ways it is too much, in others too little.

 Sakumo exhales into the chill pre-dawn air, awake and restless. There’s so much more to know, questions he wants to ask but doesn’t know how to phrase, doesn’t know how to deal with the awkwardness of having a parent that he has never known after going without for a lifetime. He’s consumed by his own thoughts when Orochimaru extracts himself from the guest bedroom and comes out through the window, Manda looped around his throat like a scarf, bundled tight in a guest blanket.  This at least, Sakumo is confident in maneuvering.

 They’re silent and watching the pitch black skies slowly lighten to dark Iron grey for a long bet. “How’d you know?” Sakumo doesn’t look over to Orochimaru, where he’s perch himself comfortably on the rail of the porch.

 “The clues were all there if you had known what you were looking for. You’re both far too alike - and not just in looks. You magic is similar, an odd Lightning primary instead of Fire primary, though yours is colored by Earth - your father, I presume. And the Lady’s story had holes - why would she need to make a show of killing two defenseless people but not produce the bodies, not take a trophy? Though I can’t hold that particular piece of information against you; it’s not something I believe you were aware of previously.” Sakumo catches the edges of a slight head tilt and shrug.

 “What am I?” Sakumo suspects, has a word bouncing around his skull, but he isn’t ready to apply that to himself quite yet.

 “Have you still not figured it out? Even with Wolfy the way she is?”

 “What does Fuzzy have to do with anything?” His dog?

 Orochimaru counts off, like it’s the most natural thing in the world, “Wolfy is entirely too large to be suffering from any kind of gigantism common to any species of wolf in the Elemental Nations. That notwithstanding, you’ve never wondered at her intelligence? Or the fact she’s lived so long without any visible health issues.”

 Sakumo has to argue, because he’s seen enough vets who’ve marveled over the same thing. “Magic increases the lifespan in animals who are around a lot of it.”

 “Only by a few years. A whole decade has passed and Wolfy is nearly exactly the same as when I last saw her. You too for that matter.” If Sakumo turned his head he knows he would see shining gold focused on him, studying him. They’ll be bright, even in this half light, glowing, and honest, because Sakumo has realized that Orochimaru doesn’t lie, no not outright. He’ll speak as if you know all the facts, as if you’re fully aware of all the shogi pieces moving around the board and all several hundred moves that may have come before, and then continue on. A perverse kind of honesty, but honesty just the same. Once again, with a quiet insistence, “Have you figured it out?”

 Sakumo swallows hard, his throat dry and only getting drier, “Fae. I’m Fae.”

 “Demi-Fae, since your father was human. Your son too, for the human blood that runs in his veins.” A quiet jangle of links, the tinkle of metal against metal that made up the scales of Orochimaru’s earrings. “The distinction doesn’t matter, since you’ve both Manifested.”

 Right. Showing Fae traits. Sakumo must suppose he got off lightly with wolf teeth - at least among Rangers, he can shrug and point out that Inuzuka file their teeth into a similar configuration, though maybe they’re also less human than he previously suspected. It might explain why they’ve always been able to work well together, but not mingled as one unit easily. They have a different leader, and Sakumo is the leader of his own group, small though it is. Which, “Sayaka killed the Lady didn’t she.”

 “She did.” It’s a quiet confirmation, and Sakumo is uneasy at it. Sayaka, who does not know Sakumo or Kakashi beyond the fact they are her blood, one who she has mourned and one who she never dreamed of existing. Sayaka, for all of that, took on someone who had a power beyond magic in the form of oaths and promises that leveraged people against their own whims, and won.

 “How?” Orochimaru himself had noted that it would be suicide to take on the Lady. Yet, Sayaka had won.

 “The rules of Underhill are more complex than what Fae would have you know. Oh, their rules for us are simple enough, but for other Fae there are more ... strictures than there are concessions. Likely because they are all out for power.” Orochimaru resettles himself on the thin rail, tucking his bare feet within the swaddling of blankets. “The Lady may have held power via promises, but those all became moot when I revealed her to have broken faith. On top of that, the fight itself was most likely viewed to have been retribution for blood kin. Vengeance, or justice, whichever you prefer.” Clearly, Orochimaru gave no more importance to one over the other, and Sakumo chose not to care. He could wrap his head around the politics, perhaps, easily step into the role of a parent who’s lost something and wanted retribution. “In either case, the Lady had no choice. She had already lost the majority of her power, and would have been cast out of the Court. It’s better now, with her dead and Sayaka the new Queen.”

 Apparently, Sakumo has a Fae Queen sleeping in his bed. Who is his mother, and willing to kill for him. There are worse situations to be in, if he thinks about it.

 The silence they’ve fallen into is heavy, something not quite comfortable but not quite heavy either. Orochimaru breaks it, “You went through my logs.” It’s not an accusation, just a simple statement of fact. There’s no use denying it, so Sakumo just listens. “Why?”

 Sakumo considers, and tries to extract the bare bones of the situation, “There was something afoot, and I needed to know what it was, not just for my job but also for my son.”

 “A simple man with simple reasons.” Orochimaru inclines his head, “Still ulterior motives.”

 “So did you.” He's fired back before he can truly think it through. At least in this, they’re both guilty of having motives behind motives behind motives. “Why else would you have asked for a sample of my magic, and how else would you have figured that my magic is similar to Sayaka’s?” The silence that follows tells him that Orochimaru’s conceded the point, but it’s barely a victory really. Sakumo sighs heavily, and turns to watch the way the sun’s first rays illuminate Orochimaru’s face, bare of heavy purple and hair loosely tied back. He’s lovely and intriguing and Sakumo wants to try getting to know this person who’s always thinking and moving and so very much the same but opposite. “So, where do we go from here?”

 “I like to think that we deserve to start over. I - I was wrong, back then to use myself and my body as a distraction, to sexually harass you, and I've never apologized for that. As well as now, having ulterior motives for what I’ve said or done while you’ve been here. So this is my formal apology.” It’s sincere, and that’s worth meeting equally.

 “I should apologize as well, for snooping through something that wasn’t, isn’t necessary for doing my job.” It raises the tiniest of smiles, true and genuine. It feels a little like discovery, and Sakumo can see how Orochimaru can get so engrossed in his work if everything feels like this.

 “I think you’re a good man at heart Sakumo Hatake, someone not swayed easily and I cannot say that I am not interested in knowing you better.”

 It’s difficult, to be honest, but Sakumo needs to say it. “In the interest of full disclosure; I'm not completely done missing Chiasa, I don't think I ever will be. She is someone I love, deeply, and I always will."

 Oro reads between lines, "But you're also ready to wade back in?"

 "Wade is a good word for it. If you're okay with slow, then ...." The ball is in Orochimaru’s court. He might not want to deal with the encompassing grief that comes and goes, or the fact that Sakumo will love Chiasa for the rest of his life. He’s used to missing her, not used to having someone there, used to mourning those who are lost.

 Orochimaru smiles and reaches out a hand, “Then, hello, I’m Dr. Orochimaru Benzaiten, genius PhD. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I like reading academic papers and writing scathing reviews, research, and have been called dangerous before.” His eyes are dancing and it playful.

 Sakumo can’t help but respond in kind. “Major Sakumo Hatake, single parent to a genius 7 year old, recently reunited with his long-lost mother, a Queen. I love spending time with my son and my dog, Fuzzy, and can be persuaded to listen to long rambles on any topic. Also, I like dangerous.” He smiles, and it’s weird around a mouthful of wolf teeth, but in the dawn light, it feels a little like a rebirth, and Sakumo can’t wait to see what comes next.

[firstumcschenectady]

“Requirements” based on Micah 6:1-8 and Matthew 5:1-12

By my records, this is the 4th time I've preached on the Beatitudes here, and the 7th time overall.  To be honest, this makes things a little bit challenging.  To be a responsible preacher, I think I have to go over the basics each time, but to be an INTERESTING preacher I need to offer you something new.  The Beatitudes, however, have been around for a while and they aren't … well...new.

In fact, they're so not new to those of us with lifetime exposures to Christianity, that I'm not sure we can hear them anymore.  Bruce Malina and Richard Rohrbough wrote the “Social-Science Commentary on the Synoptic Gospels” which is one of the most useful books I've ever met.  They put the Gospels into a social context, and use it to explain how things would have made sense in the stories and to those first hearing the stories.

Their commentary on the Beatitudes is particularly helpful, as they DISAGREE with the general consensus that “blessed” can be translated as “fortunate” or “lucky” or “happy.”  Those are all good translations of the Latin version of the text, but they miss the social context of Jesus's day.  Instead, they point out:

The language used here, i.e. 'blessed' is honorific language. … Contrary to the dominant social values, these 'blessed are...' statements ascribe honor to those unable to defend their positions or those who refuse to take advantage of or trespass on the position of another.  They are not those normally honored by the culture.  Obviously, then, the honor granted comes from God, not from the usual social sources.1

The honor bit of this isn't simply honor like we understand it today. One of the primary points of the book is that honor and shame were understood as a zero-sum reality in the Mediterranean region at that time.  One was born into a certain amount of honor or shame and the only way one gained honor was by gaining it FROM someone else and that person then experienced an increase in shame.  Honor was the FUNDMENTAL value in society, and it was a “limited good.”  In fact, the “poor” and the “rich” in the New Testament are not actually economic terms to begin with.  Rather, to be “poor” was to be a person living with less honor than one was born to, and to be “rich” was to have gained honor from others.  Malina and Rorhrbough put it this way, “The ancient Mediterranean attitude was that every rich person is either unjust or the hair of an unjust person,” one who had stolen from others what they had.2 They conclude that,”The terms 'rich' and 'poor' therefore, are better translated 'greedy,' and socially unfortunate.'”3 (This isn't to say poverty wasn't an issue, it was just such a UNIVERSAL issue that it wasn't actually the focus.)

This understanding of honor, and the connection of honor to “blessed are...”, is the key to understanding the Beatitudes in their original context.  The challenge is that sometimes the text has been used to mean the opposite of it's intention.  When “Blessed are...” is translated “lucky” it can SEEM like the beatitudes are saying: “Lucky are the ones who struggle, don't worry about them, they're better off than you think.”  Thus the social order of the day, whatever day it may be, is upheld and people's suffering is justified.

That sounds sort of like what a STANDARD set of honor and shame statements would have been – the ones describing society as it was in Jesus's day:

Honorable are those born into good families.

Honorable are those who are spoken well of in the town square.

Honorable are those who own large estates.

Honorable are the elected officials who make the rules.

Honorable are those who have many servants.

Honorable are those who have the status to control others.

Honorable are those who have the ear of power.

Honorable are those who can enforce their will with violence.

Honorable are those who speak, and others have to listen.

That is, honor belongs to and is used by those are are already powerful, important, and wealthy.  So, shame belongs to the powerless, the unimportant, the poor, and those who lose status.  This clarifies just how different the statements in Matthew's gospel really are. Because those that society shames, God does not.

Given the information we have, the Beatitudes might be heard as:

Honorable to God are those who have lost the honor of society, while they do not own the kingdoms of earth, they are part of the kindom of heaven.

Honorable to God are those who are mourn, while they have lost that which matters, loss is not the final word.

Honorable to God are those who refuse to harm others, while they may lose out on power and wealth, they will end up with everything that truly matters.

Honorable to God are those who hunger and thirst for fairness, righteousness, and justice – it is coming.

Honorable to God are the merciful – those who do not demand what they have a right to and shame others – they will also receive mercy when they need it.

Honorable to God are those who are pure in heart, the kind, for when they look in the world, they are able to see the hand of God at work.

Honorable to God are the peace-able people, the ones who reject violence and seek win-win situations, they are like God.

Honorable to God are the ones who are shamed by society for making the right choices, they also are a part of the kindom of heaven.

Jesus is describing an ENTIRELY ALTERNATE values system, one that ignores the things that society cared about and instead focuses about caring for each other, building each other up, not being willing to do harm, and inverting the assumptions about how honor and shame work.

The work of Jesus in this Matthew passage tracks well with the questions posed in Micah.  In this passage God reminds the people what God has done for them, and they respond with a wish to show appropriate... well, honor and difference to God.  This leads to the question, “With what shall I come before the LORD?” and the initial thoughts are the sorts of gifts one might bring a king to indicate that one understands oneself to be a vassal – that the approval of the king is important to your own continued life.    But the answer is that God does NOT work like that.  God isn't looking for bribes, like the kings of the world.  God is looking for something else entirely.

You may well know this answer: to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God.  Sounds a bit like the Beatitudes, doesn't it?

I asked a question last week about how we as Christians are supposed to be in relationship with the world.  I think, perhaps, this is a large part of the answer.  We are to exist within an alternative value system, one that sees the world with different eyes.  We are to see the values of justice, and of kindness, of humility, of peacefulness, of humility, of mercy  - and let those values guide our lives.  How we relate to the world at large is not in rejection or complicity – it is with seeing it with different eyes.  

In the video for the Living the Questions study last week Rev. Winnie Varghese suggests that as Christians we should be dreaming dreams so big that the world thinks we are CRAZY, and the dreams are impossible. The reason, she says, is because God dreams of a truly just society, and we're supposed to be dreamers with God.  I think that both Micah and the Beatitudes point us in the direction of God's dreams – of value systems that value compassion, collaboration, and kindness.  May we dream right alongside of God, and act accordingly. Amen

1Bruce J. Malina and Richard L. Rorhrbough Social-Science Commentary on the Synoptic Gospels (Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 2003) “Textual Notes: Matthew 5:1-12” p. 41.

2Malina, 400.

3Malina, 401.

Rev. Sara E. Baron First United Methodist Church of Schenectady 603 State St. Schenectady, NY 12305 Pronouns: she/her/hers http://fumcschenectady.org/

02-02-2020

[lovehaswonangelnumbers]

New Post has been published on https://lovehaswonangelnumbers.org/august-vibrations-forecast/

AUGUST VIBRATIONS FORECAST

AUGUST VIBRATIONS FORECAST

By Minyma 

These last few weeks have been some of the most momentous and intense energies as we anchor in a new Timeline for Planet Earth. 

July set the tone by ending and beginning a powerful cycle; especially with the Lunar Eclipse. The Lunar (Matriarch) Eclipse came through to end a 13-year cycle of hard-hitting, profound and rapid transformations of death and rebirth for the Collective. Everything that we needed to shatter our old programmings, paradigms, illusions, fears, ancestral karmic/energies, relationship patterns, coming online to ourselves happened during these last 13 years; we are putting to bed an EPIC cycle thus far in our Human Evolution. These last 13 years pulled us through a wormhole of deliberately dismantling our traumas, karmic relationships, clearing our bodies and minds and stepping us deeper and FULLER into our Divine missions here. These last 13 years showed us exactly what we were made of and it hasn’t been easy but we made it through; morphing into completely different Beings.

July 26th began a new Galactic New Year of the White Magnetic Wizard! “The Galactic Frequency of this year calls us to re-enchant our shared life; to know the power of our beliefs, thoughts, vibrations, intentions, and actions as spells that create realities. It is time to wield our positive, divine capacities, and BE the illuminated Wizards we wish to see in the world! This cycle directs us to unify with our Soul’s purpose, and to know that we can magnetically attract ALL that we need to fulfill our roles by continually opening to receive the riches of the ever-unfolding present moment…” ~ (Skytime) 13MOON.COM. Simply put; we are now being called to be our Multidimensional and Higher Selves here on Earth. We’ve done and continue to do the work, now it is time for us to SHOW UP authentically and unapologetically and step into the next step of our Divine Mission. The White Magnetic Wizard is our GOD Selves, our brilliance and Power amplified; this new Galactic Year sets the tone for 2020.

August amplifies this energy by bringing in the Lions Gate. Our Central Sun, Sirius (Our Spiritual Sun) and the Pyramids of Giza all align to open a POWERFUL Galactic Portal of IMMENSE energies to aid in the JUMP of our next phase of our Becoming. These energies are continuing to clear our old cycle and emerging us into a new Timeline of Higher Consciousness.

They are a few things happening in August. 

The first is that we are clearing imprints and timelines from the Astral realm or as I like to call it “The Overlays” which means that EVERY fear, worry, doubt, thoughts, choices we didn’t take/make EXIST somewhere in the ethereal field of consciousness. As we re-construct our dense being we cannot have these “overlays” following us into the New, it must be cleared. Most of us are now having “old Feelings, thoughts, fears, worries and flashbacks” coming now into our consciousness to be cleared once and for all from deep within our cellular and DNA memory. It is now time for us to deconstruct it from a NEW perspective and with new eyes (Third-Eye and Inter-tuition).  August is also showing us that our Shadow selves or the “boogeyman” (Lower vibrational energies) that we have been running from are shadows of our former selves. This is the energy that lower frequency beings “feed” from and August is asking for us to be real with what we have created from a limited consciousness. We are being asked to look at it from Love’s point of view and release it now by FULLY embracing and TRUSTING who we’ve now become. 

We are now living in many different Timelines; there is NO time. It’s a continual stream of many different “constructs” of our being living in the many different decisions and choices created by our subconscious beliefs. This is why so many of us FELT the ending of this 13-year cycle because it is now showing us just how much baggage we’ve been travelling with that now has to be dropped off for us to step fully into our Higher Being/Knowing. You may feel as if you are walking in many different dimensions and you are! Your personality and characteristics are now changing; you have new likes and you “inner-stand” your dislikes. What you use to put up with is no longer an option for your peace of mind. Relationships have changed both in friendships and with lovers. We are very aware of who we are having sex with or being intimate with because we are not taking on STD”S (Sexual Transmitted “Demons”); we don’t have the time or patience for those type of energies, we now require people in our lives to DO their inner-work or they cannot be in our lives. July showed us how to incorporate our Boundaries which we “lacked” as Lightworkers because of our innate need to always want to “Save”. We are living in realities of past, present and future simultaneously.

Amenti: The Crystal Grid deep within Mama Gaia

Over the last few weeks, I was shown the grids that are now activated deep within the Earth’s Core and it is PROFOUND. As of 2007-2008 these grids started to get activated and then amplified in 2012 and is now online FULLY. As above so below. As we awaken to our Higher Self Amenti is now streaming VERY high and potent energy up through the core and into our being; at any given time you can now deliberately access this grid. It is bringing new highly charged light codes from the Ancient wisdom and timelines that originally existed here on Earth; YOU are the ancients coming back online. This grid is you. The Crystalline Grid is directly connected to our Nervous System. We are feeling this by feeling deep vibrations in our bodies, sporadic nerve or bodily movements, a dense feeling within our bodies, tingles in our feet and hands, sensitive knees, feet as we are grounding our multidimensional selves into this Earth realm. Back pains, tension, stiffness is aligning with the base of our spinal column (Kundalini, Phoenix) energy which is rising deep from the centre of the Earth and up into our 8th, 9th, 10th and 12th dimensional Chakras, these are newly activated Chakra’s or portals to BRIDGE as below so above energetic streams coming unto us at this time. 

The Mind is still being rewired to bridge these High Frequencies coming in from our Higher Mind,  Central Sun, different Planets and Galactic Core. As these energies are coming down through the 12th and into our bodies you may feel extremely dizzy, unbalanced, unfocused, a slew of thoughts or ideas, headaches all over the head and at the base of the neck. High-frequency pitches are getting more intense. We are now able to communicate much more easily to our Galactic Teams, Star Beings and Ancestors. Telepathic communications has now been anchored fully.  

One morning I had an intense vision of the Divine Mother taking me into this Crystal Grid and I didn’t come back the same! I was then introduced to our Ancient family of Light who was guarding this grid alongside the Grid Keepers on Earth Realm and they showed me how I can infuse this essence for my healing work and to access higher knowing/knowledge instantly. We are ALL able to do this now by visualizing and asking our Higher Self to merge with us. They showed how the grids aligned with our Nervous System like an interconnected highway and we can access these powerful energies to work on different dimensions, with different Star Beings, etc. Almost like there’s an electric circuit running through our bodies. It is fast and it’s running steady multidimensional Light Codes through every cell of our body. They showed me that the Crystalline Grid was the PULSE of our New Realities and that the Grid Keepers of Earth Realm were in charge of anchoring this all over the World. These streams of immense light coming from Amenti were also aligning with the light grids/codes coming from above from our Galactic Core and beyond.

What is Happening now Starseeds is beyond the beyond of ANYTHING that we have EVER experienced here on Earth; I hope I was able to explain this new grid system in the limited construct of the English language.

Let August wash you with these profound and intense new energies. There is nothing to learn, you know everything you need to know. Remember YOU are the ancients reincarnated to set fire to the old World and assist in Re-Creating the New World. Many might be getting intense visions, journeying between worlds while awake now. The dream state is intense and is now showing you the myriads of “characters” you play in different dimensions. Everything is showing up as signs; lookout for what’s popping into THIS reality consistently. Our 3D body is collapsing. Morphing, stretching, combusting. It hurts. Back pain, limbs, organs, muscles feel tight, a need for more stretching. Wanting to just be and chill under this current Leo energy. Take the necessary time out to take in these codes; rest, sleep, walk in nature. Don’t overthink just be Spirit says, you are not “missing” out on anything just the mere fact that you are HERE at this time is enough. You are making a difference by just being. 

 We’ve just come out of Mercury Retrograde and Eclipse Season… Take a big deep breath… before the biggest most epic energies of Lions Gate step in to transcend us deeper. We are in the eye of the “Storm”. We are experiencing new Ascension symptoms as we have upgraded within these past few weeks and will continue for the rest of the year. EVERYTHING is coming online, we’ve levelled up, we are here! 

It’s an honour to be here with you, Ancient Ones.  

*****

LoveHasWon.org is a 501c3 Non Profit Charity, Heartfully Associated with the “World Blessing Church Trust” for the Benefit of Mother Earth

Share Our Messages with Love and Gratitude

LOVE US @ MeWe mewe.com/join/lovehaswon

Visit Our NEW Sister Site: LoveHasWon Angel Numbers

https://lovehaswonangelnumbers.org/

Commentary from The First Contact Ground Crew 5dSpiritual Healing Team:

Feel Blocked, Drained, Fatigued, Restless, Nausea, Achy, Ready to Give Up? We Can Help! We are preparing everyone for a Full Planetary Ascension, and provide you with the tools and techniques to assist you Home Into The Light. The First Contact Ground Crew Team, Will Help to Get You Ready For Ascension which is Underway. New Spiritual Sessions have now been created for an Entire Family, including the Crystal Children; Group Family Healing & Therapy. We have just began these and they are incredible. Highly recommend for any families struggling together in these times of intense changes. Email: motherofallcreation@lovehaswon.org for more information or to schedule an emergency spiritual session. We can Assist You into Awakening into 5d Reality, where your experience is one of Constant Joy, Wholeness of Being, Whole Health, Balanced, Happy and Abundant. Lets DO THIS! Schedule Your Session Below by following the Link! Visit:  http://www.lovehaswon.org/awaken-to-5d/

Introducing our New LoveHasWon Twin Flame Spiritual Intuitive Ascension Session. Visit the link below:

https://lovehaswon.org/lovehaswon-twin-flame-spiritual-intuitive-ascension-session/

Request an Astonishing Personal Ascension Assessment Report or Astrology Reading, visit the link below for more information:

https://lovehaswon.org/lovehaswon-ascension-assessment-report

https://lovehaswon.org/lovehaswon-astrology/

Experiencing DeAscension Symptoms, Energy Blockages, Disease and more? Book a Holistic Healing Session

https://lovehaswon.org/lovehaswon-holistic-healing-session/

To read our Testimonials you can follow this link: http://www.lovehaswon.org/testimonials

Connect with MotherGod~Mother of All Creation on Skype @ mothergoddess8

Visit Our Online Store for Higher Consciousness Products and Tools: LoveHasWon Essentials

http://lovehaswonessentials.org/

Request a copy of our Book: The Tree of Life ~ Light of The Immortals Book

Order a copy of Our LoveHasWon Ascension Guide: https://lovehaswon.org/lovehaswon-ascension-guide/

Donate to Love: 

We are a Donation based service for the Planetary Ascension. Thank you for showing your support and keeping our website and Love Energies moving forward! Thanks for supporting your family of light in their time of need to fulfill mission. We are Eternally Grateful!

Donate to Love: http://www.lovehaswon.org/donate-to-love/

*Please Indicate the Purpose of Donation: Session or Mission

Donate to Love

  Top of Form

~~~When donating via Paypal please select “personal payment”, as opposed to goods and services, this in turn gives more of your donation to LoveHasWon~~~

Bottom of Form

 Use Cash App with Our code and we’ll each get $5! FKMPGLH

Cash App Tag: $lovehaswon1111

Cash App

  Donate with Venmo

VENMO

  Support Our cause in the creation of the Crystal Schools for Children. Visit our fundraising link below:

LoveHasWon Charity for Crystal Schools

  Support Our Charity in Co~Creating the New Earth Together by Helping Mother of All Creation. Visit our fundraising link below:

Support Mother Earth!

Support Us on PATREON

PATREON

  Support Us Through Our LoveHasWon Wish List

LoveHasWon Wish List

  We also accept Western Union and Moneygram. You may send an email to michaelsilver@lovehaswon.org for more information.

***If you wish to send Donations by mail or other methods, email us at motherofallcreation@lovehaswon.org  or  michaelsilver@lovehaswon.org***

  **** We Do Not Refund Donations****

MeWe ~ Youtube ~ Facebook ~ Apple News ~ Linkedin ~ Twitter ~ Tumblr ~ GAB ~ Minds ~ Google+ ~ Medium ~ StumbleUpon ~ Reddit ~ Informed Planet ~ Steemit ~ SocialClub ~ BlogLovin ~ Flipboard ~ Pinterest ~ Instagram ~ Snapchat

[strongmantevin]

“Pinning the Odds”

The Strongman Experience is back this week after a month long hiatus. I want to thank everyone who has read each post and followed my Journey so far. I am blessed with each post because of the opportunity to impact someone else’s life in a positive way. The pieces of my story that I share on social media mean so much to me. The name Strongman Experience is about my brand and some of my personal experiences. “Pinning The Odds” is the title for this week’s installment please enjoy below.

I want to start off this post with talking about the very last word in the title Odds”.

Odds are used to describe how likely or unlikely that an event will occur based on factors within or beyond human control. Odds tend to bring us human beings a sense overwhelming hope or overwhelming uncertainty depending on the situation. The odds of my twin brother Teddy and I being able to lead productive lives in spite of our physical ailments wasn’t relatively high.

Premature babies tend to have lower birth weights (born weighing 2lbs check). Developmental delays are present ( I couldn’t walk on my own until I was 6 check). I cannot leave out the fact that my handwriting was not legible until the second grade. Odds will be much better when a person has the right support system around them to thrive in spite of various obstacles. I mentioned in an earlier post concerning the “Facebook post that changed my life “how Teddy and I have climbed some mountains to success and are still climbing this very day.

I realize that I’ve spent all of my life “Pinning the Odds”. I never really got an adequate picture on the true meaning until I became a high school wrestler. I always wanted to play sports growing up. CP really limited my ability. my legs were weak and frail and I couldn’t run to keep up with other kids. I grew up in Thomaston Georgia where Football was king and there were no adaptive athletic facilities for a person with a disability. The rehabilitation clinic in warm springs located 30 minutes from Thomaston had sports leagues available but the cost of gas and my parents work schedules took that move off the board. I grew up being a huge fan of Upson-Lee Knight football looking up to the likes of My brother Teddy of course Rontae Skelton Montae Skelton Quentin Lamar Eldred King Jauntez Hartsfield and Logan Winkles just to name a few. I never thought in my wildest dreams and imaginations that I Tevin Cherry would become an Athlete. I was introduced to wrestling by the school administrator at the time Mr. Chad Seymour. Mr. Seymour promised that my legs wouldn’t be an issue and I’d finally fufill my life long dreams of becoming an athlete like the guys I looked up to.

I want to define the term WRESTLING so that my readers can get a true sense of my definition of WRESTLING. in order to do so, I’m going to give you examples of what WRESTLING is not. WRESTLING is not what you see on WWF/WWE two people in a squared circle facing off putting each other in half Nelson’s. WRESTLING IS NOT Undertaker throwing Mankind off the top of The Hell in the Cell during The King of the Ring in 1998.

WRESTLING does not include giving an infamous Stone Cold Stunner to your opponent either even though I was on the recieving end of those many times in my childhood😆🤣🤣🤣😆.

WRESTLING is like boxing being that the matches take place inside the squared circle. The two competitors are brought to the center of the ring line up and face one another. The wrestlers shake hands and then square off in what is called the neutral or Standing position.

A wrestling match consists of 3 periods that last 3 minutes each and to the casual person that sounds like a piece of cake but like I mentioned earlier I really found out what I was made of when I became a wrestler. I just explained to those who are currently reading this the surface of a match is. I remember my first match like it was yesterday November 25th 2006 during my freshmen year of High school. My match only lasted all of 39 seconds as I was thrown to the mat fighting for my life and my shoulder blades were pinned . I was upset about my loss but I was hopeful that I would win the next one. The truth is I lost one match after another and and another Annnnnnd ANOTHER I kept track of all my matches from 2006-2010 and excluding forefits my overall record was 1- win -150+ losses. I’m pretty sure everyone is asking why on earth would I take time to magnify my losses and minimize my wins. The answer lies in the simple fact that I “Tevin Cherry” mostly known by people for my diligence and hard work did not realize exactly how HARD WRESTLING really is. I cannot forget that I have Cerebral Palsy which limits my movement to a certain degree. I struggled with getting around on the mat and I always seemed a step too slow.

Wrestling is not like basketball where there are 15 players 5 starters 5 rotation players then the bench for backup. Wrestling is also different from Football where it takes 50+ people to be successful. A wrestler must go to the mat and match up with another wrestler of the same weight class and win by either pinning their opponent’s shoulders to the mat or going 3- 3 minute periods and out scoring your opponent. A wrestling match is not just a physical display of strength but a showcase of mental wills. A wrestler must not only worry about his own weight but establish and obtain leverage over his opponent throughout the course of a match by manipulating their weight in every way possible. The feeling of another person’s body on top of another can be exhausting if a wrestler is not trained properly.

I also had situations where I craved victory so badly that I would rush and make careless mistakes. I would show up to practice everyday and work on movement drills and a specific move sets but still fail miserably because I lacked one thing CONFIDENCE yes that was the elephant missing from the room. My confidence eroded away with each loss and it really started to get in my head. I began to not like myself and I lost passion for one of the only few sports that I could actually play.

I really believe that God stepped in and sent me a lifeline by placing a young man by the name of Jeffery Netherton into my life when I had reached my final year of high school. Jeffery was a freshman during my senior year of high school. He was born with Cerebral Palsy just like me. I looked forward to taking him under my wing and showing him how to wrestle but I found out that he taught me about myself than I could ever teach him on the mat.

Jeffery and I are pictured above getting into position during one of our many scrimmages during my senior year. I was very angry during this time because I really wanted to earn my first victory. I wanted to have a better career and become a state champion but the the latter did not come to past. I spent my last season mentoring Jeffery showing him every move I knew from takedowns to mat wrestling. Jeffery’s most redeeming quality was that he did everything with a positive attitude. I showed Jeffery wrestling moves but he taught me about myself and how I needed to be not only a better teammate but a better human being. Jeffery took his time with everything and I really started to understand the psychology of a wrestler. I began to study my opponents and pay attention to movements and learn the ideal pace of a match for me. I continued to lose but the eye opening experience of training Jeffery allowed me to shift my goals from winning by the scoreboard to small things like executing takedowns to escaping a hold to surviving more than just one round. My CONFIDENCE returned after I started focusing on the process rather than the end goal.

The day had finally come to where I would wrestle the very last match of my high school career. On January 11th 2010 at Eagles Landing High School I stepped on the mat for the last time and my very last match was against Jeffery. I was overwhelmed with emotion because I had spent everyday training and coaching Jeffery through the season. I am grateful because we both made a promise to not to take it easy on each other. Jeffery and I stepped to the middle of the mat and put on a wrestling exhibition that was one that I wished had been recorded. The match was much closer than the score indicated. The 3- 3 minute periods were grueling it was back and forth going toe to toe with my teammate. I took Jeffery down to the mat several times and overwhelmed him with my strength and scored numerous back points as I flowed from move to move. Jeffery showed tons of resilience by fighting back towards his stomach to keep from getting pinned. Jeffery even scored two takedowns against me keeping me on my heels several times during our match. I eventually finished the match winning 16-4 but none of that mattered at this point. I stood in the middle of the mat with my hand held high along with Jeffery because during our match he was able to pull off a move from each position that I taught him. I truly found that feeling that I had been searching for since my freshman year and that was to feel like a champion and hold my head high. Jeffery was forever grateful to me because I was able to teach him how to play a sport that he probably never would have gotten the chance to play if I had never took the leap of faith to try almost 4 years earlier. I’m going to do my due diligence and reach out to Jeffery because we unfortunately lost contact after I graduated high school. I spent many years dealing with regret because I knew that I had accomplished something big with helping Jeffery but I still yearned for a better career. I had to pray to God and ask for peace knowing that my mission wasn’t to become a state champion but to coach someone else I figured out that my life long dream is to be a COACH!! In fitness because I love sports and I love working out.

I want to bring this post to a close with this message.

1. I believe that everyone is a wrestler. One person may be wrestling with one issue while someone else may have several at the end of the day it all comes down to dealing with the obstacles that life places in our way and we must deal with them and give them to God.

2. I encourage everyone to enjoy the process of each journey during each stage throughout life. I spent so much time wanting to win and become a state champion that I failed to learn early in my wrestling career to be thankful for small things like understanding movement, getting a takedown, or knowing my pace for a match.

3. I’m still pinning the Odds and I am an athlete coach and Champion at the end of the day in Jesus name Amen.