#people PS ing messages

[whereisthedamndaddymanual]

These 12-d(it's a 3d in a 2d view) projections will say research this research that and I am like just show me the top ones and I will find some 5 hour impossible to read masterpiece

[effervescentdragon]

Twinklaren + Oscar winning a race before lando

im not good today so. yeah.

"I mean, it's not like it counts properly," Lando says, and Oscar doesn't have time to react because he goes on, "like what they said to George in Brazil last year, yeah? Untill he won Sunday too," he finishes.

His elbow doesn't dig into Oscar's side because the movement gets aborted, and the grin on Lando's face is still present, and Oscar doesn't know what to think, and isn't that always the fucking case with Lando?

"I guess -" he starts to say, but Lando interrupts, sweaty and grinning, something manic in his eyes. "You just gotta win tomorrow," he says, and Oscar's stomach drops. "But congratulations, that was a wonderful drive, they really did magic with our cars, didn't they?"

Lando doesn't stop talking and Oscar can't catch his breath for long enough to do anything, to say anything. What would he even say, or even better, what can he say without having the whole management of McLaren coming down on him in ways neither he nor Mark can counter?

Fuck you, he can say. I won before you, in my rookie season, he could say. I'm better than you, another option. I wouldn't have fucked up in Sochi, that's a good one. You should be calmer when you drive, maybe you could win something then, that one would hurt.

He looks at Lando properly, looks at the way his hair falls on his face, his curls sweat-stained, making waves that somehow suit him. Oscar thought it was funny when Lando shaved his head that once but he thinks it looks much better now. He looks at the smile that Lando keeps on, tries to see if there's a strain there anywhere. Tries to see if there's somewhere he can press, because that's not fair, he drove the race of his life and he won, and what the fuck does it matter it's a sprint? Why does it matter?

He doesn't ask himself why Lando isn't happy for him. He isn't even sure Lando isn't happy for him, but they're racers and all the want, all they fight for is to win, and the first rule is always that you have to be better than your teammate. Oscar always was, he was always better than his teammates, and objectively, he knows people say he's better than Lando. He knows there's whispers and there's tweets and posts and questions. He knows Mark said You can beat him, but he also knows Mark looks at him and doesn't see Oscar sometimes. He knows Mark looks at Lando and sees someone else.

He looks at Lando and sees a thousand ways he can push. He sees a thousand different conversations and he sees a thousand different paths they can take. Well, maybe not thousands. Three at least. He looks at Lando drinking the water and the way he closes his eyes and the way his chest moves. He looks at the way his neck bobs as he swallows, sweaty and wet, and the way his eyes are tightly shut.

He can't see what Lando is thinking. He never can. Lando changes tactics like he changes clothes, like everything is fleeting in this life and like nothing can ever hold his attention for long enough to become meaningful. Streaming, DJ-ing, music genres, teammates, roommates, friends, girlfriends... none of it stays.

He smiles one moment and frowns the next and he means both of those. He's nice to Oscar and he's funny and makes Oscar laugh, or as close as Oscar ever comes to it and he ignores Oscar's texts most of the time, except when Oscar wakes up to 25+ messages, most of them memes and random thoughts. He bickers with Alex and George and then spends weekends with them. He doesn't speak a word to Carlos in the paddock and the next day there's pictures of them golfing together. He ignores Daniel and then spends an hour on the phone laughing with him. He shit-talkes Charles and then plays PS for nights on end with him.

The only thing that's solid in the flitting, fluid fluttering of Lando's existence is the fact that Lando is locked in with McLaren for years.

Oscar doesn't really care about much in his life. Everything he has, he got, maybe not completely easily, but with ease at least. He's a very good driver. He's driving for a team that won championships and will definitely win them again. He's good looking, and rich, and he has a girlfriend and he has a good manager who knows how to play the game and he has his parents and it's all good. He just won a sprint race, their car is improving, everything is going according to plan. He doesn't really have to care about much.

He cares about the hair that's falling into Lando's eyes, sticking to his brow.

"You have - let me," he says, reaching out before he can think about it. Lando freezes and doesn't move as Oscar pushes his curls back. His eyes are narrowed and whn he laughs, it's not right - it's wrong.

"Thanks," he says. "Congratulations, though. Good points to the team."

Lando grins and Oscar wants to scream. There's traces of Lando's sweat on his fingers cooling down in the air. He wants to lick them.

"Yeah," he says stupidly, staring into Lando's eyes and seeing so much it ends up amounting to nothing. "Time to think about tomorrow, right?"

He isn't sure why he's asking. Lando barks a laugh.

"Sure," he says, and Oscar can't read anything in his voice. "There's always tomorrow."

[let-them-read-fics]

What Could've Been

Requested By Anon: "pls do a rosé or jennie imagine where the reader is into them but they just keep rejecting her. then they just cross the line one day and say hurtful things to y/n so the reader just ended up stopped pursuing them. then someone else (could be the other rosé or jennie also of yk what i mean) became interested in y/n and they get all petty and jealous yk djajdua,, COULD BE ANY ENDING HFHSHAU I'M JUST A REAL SUCKER FOR IMAGINES LIKE THIS TYSM"

Pairing: Love Triangle -- Jennie x Fem!Reader and Rosé x Fem!Reader

Word Count: ~ 7,333

Warnings / Misc. -- Angst, Pining, Rejection, Crying, Fluff

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: ⚠️ Important ⚠️ Class, gather round -- we have some things to discuss. I'm not angry, just... disappointed. *dramatic music*

First off, I want to address something with asks: as I've stated before, there's no certain amount of time that any one request will take me. Sometimes I'm more inspired by one than others, and sometimes I legitimately lack the time or brainpower to write a piece that holds true to my standards.

Please, refrain from messaging me multiple times about a request. Once is fine, especially if it's been awhile since you first asked, but I'm doing my best to give you starving fans the content you wish to see, and that takes time.

To those of you who continue to be patient with me: I sincerely appreciate it.

Secondly, I hope you enjoy this. ♡ Happy Reading ♡

PS ~ Anon, I still love you. Now enjoy this fic or you're grounded.

PPS ~ It gets better as it goes on

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

"Thank you," you politely say to your driver, handing him some money before stepping out of the sleek black car and onto the sidewalk. The bottoms of your shoes crunch lightly as they come in contact with the concrete, steadily announcing your course towards the performance hall. 

You let out a breath as you stand in the elevator, alone with your thoughts in the small space as it ascends. 

Your hands nervously palm the fresh bouquets of flowers you purchased on your way here -- the girls just finished a comeback stage, so you've decided to surprise them and show your love. You spent time picking out a personalized batch for each of them, making sure to mix their favorite colors and types, but you went even further for Rosé: you hand picked a larger, special array, choosing them based on their meaning and how much you think she'll appreciate them. Over the years, you've made sure to note her favorite ones; that came in handy tonight, and the florist assisting you definitely appreciated your attention to detail. 

Too chicken to go to her first, you decide to bring the other girls their gifts now and save Rosie for last. All of them are unwinding independently in their dressing rooms right now, enjoying some much needed alone time before coming back together later to celebrate. 

"Jisoo-yah!" You sing-song, rapping lightly on the door. It's slightly ajar, but you still knock out of respect for her privacy. 

In an instant, the door swings open to reveal a very happy unnie. "Y/N! I've missed you!" She nearly shouts, pulling you in for an eager hug. A surprised noise leaves her lips as her hands come in contact with the bundle behind your back, crinkling the plastic slightly in her excited state. 

"I got you a present," you say, smiling softly. Jisoo can feel the way your cheeks raise up, brushing against the skin of her neck as your head rests there, and her heart melts. After pulling out of the embrace, she wiggles her eyebrows at you.

"Well? Let me see!" You do as she asks with a chuckle, pulling her bunch out of the hold of the rubber band that's keeping them all together. "I got your favorite." You grin, sticking them out for her to see. Her eyes widen at the sight, and she's touched by the kind gesture. Flowers aren't particularly unique in terms of what companies and fans send them, but seeing the effort you put in makes it incredibly special. She couldn't be happier. 

"Y/N, you're the best." She presses a small kiss to your cheek as a thank you, and invites you in right after. Jisoo considers you to be one of the closest friends she has, so being apart hasn't been easy on her. You're the only person she's okay with venting and crying in front of, and she's been needing that lately. Sensing this, you pull a chair up to her vanity and let her fill you in on all the mayhem you missed out on during your time away, holding her hand for reassurance. When she gets a little frustrated, you rub her back gently, telling her to take her time. 

Jisoo is beyond thankful for you, and that becomes more and more apparent the closer you two get. Times like these hold a special place in her heart and remind her of why she loves you so much. You truly are a great friend to have, and there's no one she'd rather have in her corner. 

----

"Incoming! 3...2...1…" You call out, standing in front of Lisa's door, ready to knock it down and barge in. The greeting is an inside joke between the two of you, though neither of you know where its origins lie. 

"Yah! Hold on!" She shouts, nearly tripping and falling from how quick she rushes to the door. You laugh at the sounds of chaos coming from inside, wincing slightly when a thud rings out. Hair slightly disheveled, she opens the door with a huff. "This had better be good, because I almost died." 

Wordlessly, you reveal her present and smirk as the halfhearted scowl on her face disappears completely, giving way to a dopey grin. "You remembered?" She asks quietly, running her fingers over the petals of her all-time favorite flower. The fact that she sounds so shocked makes you sad -- not many people take enough time to notice the little things. They'd rather focus on profiting off of the girls' talents than actually caring enough to get to know them. 

"Of course I did, Lisa. You're one of my best friends; how could I forget?" The maknae pulls you in for a meaningful hug, allowing the gesture to tell you all the things she doesn't know how to express. She's not always the best with her words, but she makes up for it with her actions. 

"I really love you, dork. You know that?" She asks as she pulls away, ruffling your hair lightly. She cracks that smile that seems to make the world stop, and you just shake your head. 

"You'd better. Your flowers were the most expensive!" You tease, dodging her when she reaches out to grab you for that one. 

"Get back here!" She shouts, chasing you down the hall like a 5 year old, planning to get her revenge. 

---

"Jendeukie, open up!" You squeal, pounding on her door while throwing a look over your shoulder. Lisa is dangerously close, ready to tackle you as she continues charging down the hall. 

"Y/N?!" She exclaims from the other side of the door, clearly not expecting you to be here. 

"Hurry!" You can hear footsteps eagerly rushing towards the door, and just as she opens it, disaster strikes. 

Lisa's arms wrap around your waist, pushing you forward and right into Jennie. The three of you fall into her dressing room in a messy heap, limbs splayed in various positions as you yell together on the way down. You manage to keep the flowers out of harm's way, thankfully, and your arm remains stuck out just in case Lisa tries anything else. 

"Hello to you, too, Y/N." Jennie groans with a chuckle, the words coming out a little strained from all the weight on her. Lisa stands first, pulling you up right after, and you turn to help your best friend up as well. 

"I sure know how to make an entrance, huh?" Your lopsided grin makes Jennie weak in the knees, much like it has ever since she met you all those years ago, and she has to fight to contain the blush that rises to her cheeks. After bantering with Lisa for a few more moments you eventually push her out of the room, shoo-ing her back to her own in order to give yourself some one-on-one time with Jennie. 

You stick your tongue out at the maknae one final time before shutting the door and turning around, finding a very soft looking Jennie peering back at you. Her cheeks are pulled back in her signature gummy smile, and the fluffy sleeves of her Chanel sweater engulf her small hands as she cradles her face in them. 

Perhaps, if circumstances were different, you'd be hopelessly pining for this 5'4" angel instead of Rosé. Love knows no logic, though, and you're stuck chasing after a certain Australian beauty that never seems capable of giving you the time of day.

"I missed you," she pouts, pursing her lips adorably as she steps forward to wrap her arms around your shoulders. You pull her in and pick her up with a spin, smiling into her neck when she giggles in your ear. 

"Well, I'm here now. And luckily for you…." you start, allowing for some anticipation to build, "I come bearing gifts. Well, a gift. Singular." Jennie chuckles at your rambling -- it's one of the traits she finds most endearing about you, and she always hates it when people cut you down for it. It's adorable in every way. 

"Oh?" She asks, intrigued as she raises an eyebrow -- she's keeping the act up for you, of course, too fond of the cute smile on your face to tell you that she already knows what it is. You hand over the flowers with a little jig, too excited by how happy she looks to contain yourself. 

"They're beautiful, Y/N." She stops herself from adding a, "just like you," to the end of the phrase, wishing she was able to say things like that. You deserve to be reminded of how special you are everyday, and she knows her bandmate fails to do so. 

"So, what've you been up to?" You amble over to the couch that's tucked away in the corner of her dressing room, plopping down onto the cushions with a small bounce. Rosé's flowers lay beside you, and Jennie eyes them. 

"Same old, same old," she says, finally looking back at you with a tiny grin. "Practice for the comeback has kept us really busy lately, and somebody hasn't been there to tell us jokes at 3AM and keep us going." She playfully rolls her eyes, pretending to be annoyed. 

"My most sincere apologies," you hold a hand over your heart in mock regret, bowing your head with closed eyes. "On the bright side, though, I'm back in town for next month or two. I finished the business deals we had to handle abroad, so now I'm all yours." 

She knows you didn't mean hers, but that doesn't stop her from pretending. 

A happy noise of approval slips past her lips, and she claps excitedly. The sight reminds you of some of the childhood videos she's shown you, the two looking eerily similar to one another. No matter what may happen in her life, Jennie will most certainly remain that innocent young girl at heart, getting scared by everything that moves and loving with her all. She's an amazing person to know, and part of you feels sorry for everyone who'll never get the privilege of knowing her personally -- after all, everyone deserves a Jennie Kim in their lives. 

"Are you celebrating with us later?" She asks from in front of her mirror, now brushing her hair to busy herself. She runs the risk of making her feelings too obvious if she doesn't keep herself occupied. 

"I was planning to, yes. But that might depend on Rosé." You inform with a nervous chuckle, an anxious smile playing on your lips. When you look up and find her brows furrowed, you elaborate. 

"I'm gonna try to ask her out today when I bring her these flowers." You lightly chew your bottom lip out of habit, rubbing your hands together. The mere thought of such a task is daunting, especially with your not-so-perfect track record when it comes to her. You still try to cling to what little hope you have squirreled away in your heart, wishing with all your power that your sweet present will convince Rosé to at least give you a chance. 

Distracted by your thoughts, you don't notice the way that Jennie's face falls. Her heart is breaking in silence, splintering into pieces far too small to put back together. She knew this day would come eventually, given that you're a determined person and head over heels for Rosé, but that doesn't mean she was prepared to find out like this. The lovesick glimmer in your eye hurts Jennie even more, knowing that you're probably imagining what it would be like for her to say yes to you. This whole time, Rosé has been stringing you along -- giving you just enough hope to keep coming back to her, using your devoted acts of kindness selfishly -- and Jennie would do anything to make you see that. You don't deserve what she puts you through. 

"...Earth to Jennie!"

The brunette snaps back to reality and clears her throat, attempting to gather her thoughts again. 

"Sorry, just got lost there for a second." She says, looking back into your eyes after a moment. A curious look plays in them, and she can practically see you debating on whether or not to question her further. She lets out a quiet sigh of relief when you accept her answer, choosing instead to smile at her. 

"It's alright. But what's not alright, is that I've been sitting here for 5 minutes and you haven't come over to cuddle me. I mean seriously, a girl's gone for forever and her best friend doesn't bombard her with love?" You shake your head with an amused smile, throwing your hands in the air. 

Oh, the things she would do to change that title. 

Successfully suppressing the pang of longing that runs through her, Jennie quips back, "A month and a half is hardly forever, Y/N." 

"It felt like it, though. I missed seeing you." 

She finds you pouting, your arms folded across your chest like a toddler, and her heart melts. Any amount of time without you is too long for Jennie's liking, and she's happy to know you missed her as well. 

"Fine, I guess I can spare some cuddles." She pretends to be put out as she approaches you, really playing the part by huffing and looking uninterested. Inside, though, she's celebrating. She can't wait to hold you close again, even if it may lead to her hurting herself with the what-ifs and scenarios that play in her mind. 

"Yay!" You shout, pulling her into your lap before laying your head on her shoulder. Her heart beats rapidly at the proximity, and she prays to every higher power in existence that you don't notice it. 

She relaxes after a moment, releasing the tension from her muscles as she sinks into your embrace. It's warm and comforting, and she never wants you to let go. Her head rests on top of yours, and she's content just running her hands through your hair, feeling your calm breaths against her skin. 

She's so in love it hurts. 

-----

This'll convince her, you whisper to yourself, attempting to sound confident -- key word: attempting. If there's one thing you know about Rosé, it's that she loves to be difficult with you. You caught feelings for her years ago when you were first introduced to each other at a company event, and ever since then you've done nice things for her nonstop, hoping that she'd fall for you with time. The longer you wait, though, the more discouraged you get. Regardless, those times that she appreciates your efforts make up for all the rest, and you'd gladly take 100 instances of the "bad" in order to have even just one of the "good". 

After taking a deep breath, you knock on the door a couple times.

A sigh can be heard, sounding like a complete 180 from the reactions of the other girls. The subsequent footsteps are heavy -- like she's dragging her feet, not even wanting to get up in the first place -- and they work to dishearten you a bit. Nevertheless, you imagine how happy she'll be when she sees the surprise, and a small smile makes its ways onto your lips. All you want to do is brighten her day, if only for a moment. 

An indifferent expression rests on her face when she first opens the door, likely expecting someone else to be standing in your place. Not much changes when she realizes it's you, though a sliver of a smile does quirk up at the corner of her lips. 

"Hiya Rosie," you greet sweetly, unable to contain how wide your smile grows at seeing her again. She makes you feel like a giddy school girl, and you can't decide if you love it or hate it. 

"What's up?" She asks, more out of common courtesy than anything else. Her body leans against the doorframe, her left arm resting behind the door. She didn't throw it open or invite you in like the other girls, so that tells you that she probably doesn't want visitors. 

When you take too long to answer, she asks dryly, "Are you just gonna stare at me?" Her voice is laced with a slight undertone of annoyance -- one that makes you shrink down a bit. You can practically hear how exhausted she is, and part of you feels bad for disturbing her with your presence. 

"N-no, sorry." You curse yourself for looking like a fool. "I got you something that I think you'll enjoy." Her eyebrows raise slightly and you can tell she's intrigued, even if she may try to deny it. 

"Here." You declare, nervously fixing the plastic as you hold the bundle in front of you. You want it to look perfect for her. 

"I, uh, hand picked it." 

"Thank you, it's lovely." She says politely, taking them from you and bringing them up to her nose. She admires the gentle, pleasant scent of them, and smiles appreciatively at you.

You blush under her gaze, slightly tripping over your words as you respond, "Of course, I'm glad you like it." 

Now, the part you dread: when the conversation dwindles down, threatening to end entirely unless you step up to keep it going. 

"Well, how've you been?" You cringe at the overused question, but you're willing to employ it in order to hear her sweet voice for a little longer. 

"Look, Y/N, I really appreciate the gift and all, and I'm really happy to see you again, but I don't feel like talking right now. I just want to enjoy myself for a little bit." Her denial makes you scrunch your face up, embarrassed beyond belief as her words sink in. You should've known that flowers wouldn't suffice. Perhaps that last line stung the most -- you try not to read too far into it, but the idea that she doesn't enjoy herself when talking to you nags at your heart. 

"Yeah, yeah. For sure." You scratch the back of your neck, awkwardly taking a step away from her door and back into the hallway. 

"I'll see you at the get together later though, right?" You ask, kicking yourself when you realize how hopeful you sounded. You have to get better at hiding it. 

"Sure," she nods, sending you a smile and little wave before saying goodbye and shutting the door. 

Well, that was a bust. Damn. Back to the drawing board, it is -- though your ego will need a few hours to recover. 

---

"Lisa, I swear to god, if you come near me with that I'll punt you across this room." 

Your very serious, totally-not-exaggerated warning evidently worked against you, because the maknae soon raises her head to look at you, grinning like a maniac. Frosting from the cake she just messily cut into covers her hands, looking threatening as she wiggles them at you. 

"I mean in!" You shout as a last resort, slowly backing away. You accidently bump into Jennie in the process, but you fail to realize that it was part of the plan all along: she and Lisa are in cahoots. When the maknae lunges, swiftly striding across the room towards you, you attempt to move out of her path and get somewhere safer. Steady hands on your waist keep you anchored in place, though, and you try to fight them. 

"Jennie?! Let me go, she's right there!" You squeal, trying to pry her fingers off of your hips one by one. She merely laughs, whispering a sorry into your ear right before Lisa's hands run across your cheeks and neck. You squirm, leaning further back against Jennie to evade the younger girl as she does her worst. 

Now, practically having a face mask of frosting, you step away from the girls and glare at them. 

"Bullies, I tell you." You say to Jisoo, groaning when she busts out laughing. It doesn't take a genius to know that you look a mess, and you'd probably laugh at yourself if the roles were reversed. The others soon join in, and a chorus of belly laughs fill the air around you. 

"Go ahead, laugh it up," you tell the girls, nodding your head, "Just wait til I get my revenge. I'm coming for you, Manoban." You point a finger at her as you exit the room, grinning when you hear the oooo's that they let out at your threat, and you make your way to the bathroom at the end of the long hallway before you.

On your way back, you hear Rosé's voice filtering in from one of the lounge rooms that branch off of the main corridor. Intrigued, you stop walking and listen in. 

Big mistake. 

Your ears perk up when you hear your name roll off her tongue, though her subsequent sentences crush your spirits. 

"...I know, right? She's honestly so annoying. Like earlier, I was finally getting cozy after our performance and then she just showed up."

Too shocked to leave now, you stay where you are and try not to let her words hurt you too much. She listens to the person on the other end of the line, laughing at something they said. That sound -- one you’ve grown to love more than anything else in the world -- is turning into something you hate. It feels like she's laughing at you; which, in hindsight, she probably is. 

"Exactly! She had flowers for me, as if I don't get those almost everyday already, and I guess she really thought that that would win me over. It was sweet but, c'mon, you know?"

Every insecurity you have is nagging at you, and you can't stop the few tears that roll down your cheeks at her brutal honesty. She's really hurting your feelings, and you can't help but want to call her out for it. So, you do just that: you step into the open room, one that lacks an actual door, and say, "Next time you wanna talk shit about someone, maybe you should make sure they're not around to hear it." 

Her smile falters slightly, and she spins around to face you. A hint of guilt plays on her features, but you're sure it's only because she got caught -- she definitely meant everything she said. 

"Y/N--"

You don't stick around to listen to what she has to say. Her change of behavior surprised you, and you can't trust that she's even sorry for it. 

Your pace quickens as you hear her voice become clearer -- she's in the doorway now, calling after you, but you don't even turn around. The salt of your tears greets your tongue, and you're once again reminded to wipe your face as you rush down the hall, rounding a couple corners and darting past countless doors on your way. You just want to get out of this place and be alone. 

A new voice slows your strides as it greets your ears, feeling like a security blanket in its gentleness. It's Jennie. "Y/N? Why are you crying?" She came to look for you when you took too long to return from the bathroom. 

You're far too embarrassed to look at her, so you simply sniffle and raise a hand up in her direction. "Don't worry about me, Jen. It's not important." 

"Hey, yes it is. You're upset and that matters." She steps towards you, saying the words that you had no idea you needed to hear so badly. Your heart aches, still shocked by the fact that Rosé would say such things about you. You thought you were friends, if nothing else, and yet that's never felt further from the truth than it does right now. 

When you don't move away, Jennie takes that as a sign to bring you into her arms, cradling your head against her chest. The kind act hurts your heart more for some reason, and you want to pull away. Jennie senses this and decides to rub soothing circles on your back, her warm embrace comforting you as she says, "I don't know what happened, Y/N, but I'm right here. We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, either, but please don't leave like this. I hate to see you upset." 

Something about the way she's holding you, so close and tenderly, is comforting beyond belief and you can't find the desire to leave anymore. 

"Can we at least go to your dressing room? I don't want everyone to see me like this."

"Of course, sweetheart. Come on." 

Sweet phrases of reassurance are whispered to you as she leads you away, keeping you safe from prying eyes the entire time. Jisoo appears in the doorway of the party room, raising a concerned brow when she sees the two of you approaching. Jennie shakes her head at the unnie before she can utter a word, giving her a silent answer as she uses her eyes to communicate what's happening. Jisoo eventually understands, and she offers a sympathetic nod when you pass by.  

-------

7 Months Later

"Hey Jennie, do you think you can go answer the door? I'd do it myself, but…" Jisoo trails off, glancing down at the bowl of partially mixed dough that sits in front of her on the counter. Her hands continue to knead the mixture as she looks up at the younger girl, subtly sighing in relief when she agrees. 

There's more than one reason behind having Jennie be the one to answer it. 

The brunette grabs a pen as she pads her way over to the door, ready to sign for a delivery package -- that's usually the only thing they get at the dorm, considering guests are discouraged for the most part. Screw YG and their rules. 

Being a bit clumsy, Jennie accidently knocks her phone out of her own hand as she opens the door, muttering out a quiet “shit” as she bends down to retrieve it. Her eyes trail over to the stylish boots that set just a few feet away, and her breath hitches. 

"Hi baby." You greet with that healing smile that she's missed so much, peering down at her with a look in your eye that makes her heart trip and stumble over itself. 

"Y/N!" She shrieks, jumping up from the ground and right into your arms. 

"Uumph--" you let out in surprise, making sure to catch her and prevent her from falling. Ever since you two began dating a few months ago, leaving has become harder and harder. Jennie is beyond thrilled to have you back again, and she tries not to think about the next business trip you'll have to take. It's a methodical rhythm -- a month or two abroad and the same amount back home, then you're left to repeat the cycle over and over. Both of you hate it, and you'd much rather spend all your time with her instead. After all, ever since the incident with Rosé all that time ago, Jennie has steadily worked her way into your heart and become someone you can't live without. You were close before, but you've reached a new level now -- and that's about the only thing you can thank Rosé for. By hurting you and showing you how little she cared, she effectively pushed you right into Jennie's waiting arms.

"I'm so happy you're home." She says with a sigh, truly grateful to have you in her arms again. You wrap your arms tighter around her waist and sway a little bit, both of you content with just holding each other for a while longer. The weather outside is dazzlingly perfect; signs of summer apparent in everything around you. Birds chirp their looping songs as they fly through the air, feeling the sun's gentle heat on their wings all the while. 

You move your head enough to be level with hers, bringing her in for a long-overdue kiss. She smiles into it, cupping your cheek with one of her hands as she languidly moves to deepen it. 

Rosé should've stayed in her room. She should've ignored her stomach's incessant grumbling for a snack; but she didn't. 

She gave in, and now she's stuck, rooted in place as she watches Jennie kiss you, the one that got away. It's like watching a train wreck: she can't look away, and part of her psyche knows she deserves this. The apple in her hands is the only thing working to distract her, and she grips it tightly within her clutch to comfort herself. You look good -- so good -- and Rosé doesn't know whether to be happy or not. She knows she didn't treat you right -- then or ever -- but for some selfish reason that she doesn't dare give voice to, she wants you to still be hurting. She wants you to be suffering like she is now, crying into your pillowcase at night when she crosses your mind. She wants you to miss the good times, though there may not have been enough of them, and she wants you to want her again. 

You've turned the tables on her, and she doesn't know how to cope. 

She realized what she had once it was gone -- once you were gone, too busy falling in love with Jennie to pay her any mind anymore. She misses how devoted you were to her and how much care you put into everything you did; she misses the consistency that you offered; she misses every sweet thing you ever did for her. Hell, she even misses hearing you ramble and seeing you blush when all she did was smile at you. 

But you're gone now, destined to be with her member when all she wants is another chance. She'll never get it, certainly not after everything she's put you through, and she resents herself for treating you so badly. All you ever did was care, and she was too self-centered to give a crap. 

She deserves this. She deserves to see you happy with Jennie, happy in a way she could never make you. For you, she deserves to hurt; to silently cry in her room when she hears the two of you on call, laughing about whatever new thing you experienced that day. Because it wasn't just the one instance of pain she inflicted on you; it wasn't just that one night at the performance hall -- it was a steady build up of rejection and half-assed excuses, and even she can't blame you for getting tired of it. She wishes she hadn't been so stupid to deny you. 

What's worse is that she's actually fallen for you now; she imagines what could've been, what would've been, had she given you an honest chance. She's never tried to deny how gorgeous you are -- that's a given -- but now you're bruisingly beautiful, shining with the happiness that Jennie's worked hard to instill in you again. Shining with the love you hold for that 5'4" angel. 

Maybe, if circumstances were different, you'd be in Rosé's arms right now. Perhaps in another life. 

---

"Do you want to come in? Jisoo's working on some dessert for the lunch we just made. We can heat you up a plate in the meantime…" Jennie trails off, hoping to persuade you. She knows it's risky, considering the tension that feels almost tangible anytime the three of you are together, but she doesn't want to let you go so soon. 

"I don't know…" The uncertainty in your voice is clear, and Jennie watches as a slight grimace crosses your features when you look past her and into the dorm. Luckily Rosé had already found the will power to move to the dining room, so you're spared from seeing her just yet. 

"If things get weird or uncomfy we'll leave, okay? I promise." She says, knowing she's convinced you once you give her a little nod. 

"Okay. But I'm only doing this because I missed Jisoo's cooking." A playful glint shimmers in your eye as you quirk your head to the side, teasing her. 

"Hey!" She groans, pushing your shoulder as the two of you walk down the little concrete path that leads to the front door. "I'm kidding! I missed Lisa's jokes, too." 

You laugh at the gasp she lets out, and you make sure to turn around and press a kiss to her temple to stop her from pouting. 

--

"So, Y/N, where did you go this time?" Jisoo asks, leaning against the marble island of the kitchen as she pops a piece of tanghulu in her mouth. The crack of the sugary coating pulls your attention away from Rosé, where it had momentarily been -- she looks awful. Bags rest underneath her eyes, her normally vibrant features crestfallen now as her gaze scans across the food on her plate. 

You look at Jisoo as you answer her. "The states. We worked with some local companies and small businesses to get more promotional material out in front of people. It's actually pretty amazing, guys -- you're blowing up over there. They love you." The girls smile at your words, feeling a sense of accomplishment swell within themselves. Back when they were trainees they never imagined that they'd end up this far, and yet here they are, seeing their dreams come true, day after day. 

You're just happy to be along for the ride. It's not easy by any means -- people often crack under the pressure and get discouraged by the hustle and bustle of everything that such a major operation entails -- but you've never been more thankful for a position in your life. 

"As they should," Lisa smirks, looking self-assured with the little cocky motion she does. You almost choke on the piece of food you just stuffed in your mouth, laughing at how ridiculous she looks. 

After successfully not dying, you look at her and shake your head. "Lisa, what is wrong with you?" She puts on her infamous meme face, pretending to be shocked by your question, and you cackle again. The sound makes Rosé jealous; she wishes she were the one making you laugh like that. 

Another hour or so passes with the 5 of you just relaxing and snacking together at the table, taking turns trading stories and jokes in the meantime. After finishing your dessert and complimenting the unnie's cooking skills, you make your way towards the kitchen with a groan of, "I'm so full" thrown over your shoulder. 

You begin washing the dishes, finding it only fitting seeing as they spent all that time preparing such a good meal. It's the least you can do. A smile tugs at your cheeks when you hear the door open, followed by light footfalls against the hardwood. Jennie. 

Warm arms snake around your waist as she hugs you from behind, resting her cheek against your back. Your brows furrow when you notice an unusual thing -- either Jennie grew a few inches in the last 5 minutes, or someone else is holding you. Their cheek reaches a place Jennie isn't tall enough to, and it all hits you.

It's Rosé. 

You go to shut the water off and step away, but the sounds of her quiet sniffles give you pause. "Please don't." She whispers into your shirt, bunching the material up within her fingers against your stomach. A pang of sadness pulls against your heart strings, the long forgotten feeling reignited by the waver in her voice. "Rosé," you start with a sigh, ready to launch into the practiced speech of how happy you are with Jennie now and how you've moved on. She tugs at your shirt, slowly turning you around, and you can't find it in yourself to break her heart even further in this moment. Her eyes are filled with what tears have yet to stream down her face, brimming with the salty liquid you hate to see. 

Even after everything, you can't stand to see her cry. 

So, perhaps stupidly, you allow her to lean forward and rest her head against your chest; you let her fall into your arms, sinking into the embrace she never intended to miss so much. 

It was innocent. Completely, utterly innocent, but Rosé couldn't stop herself -- not when you were there again, right in front of her, looking so good it hurt. She wrapped her arms around your neck, pushing her lips against yours in a kiss you weren't prepared for at all. Her mouth moved quickly against yours, knowing you'd be shoving her away at any moment. But she was okay with being selfish again -- she needed you then, and you allowed her to keep kissing you until you realized what was happening. 

As you go to stumble away and put distance between the two of you, the door once again opens; only this time, it's actually Jennie. Her eyes immediately dart between the two of you as she notices how Rosie's hands are still holding you close, both of your lips swollen from the kiss. All at once you realize how the situation must look, and you begin panicking. You knew this was a bad idea from the start. 

"Jennie, no. I promise this isn't what you think." You shake your head, finally freeing yourself of Rosé's grip as you take a couple steps towards your girlfriend. She takes an equal amount back, scoffing lightly at the memory of the scene she just witnessed. 

"Yeah, okay," she says, sounding anything but convinced as she makes her way towards the door. You go after her, but she holds a hand up -- after knowing her for so long, you've learned that that signal means to give her some time alone. Both of you know you'll go after her again later, but she needs some time right now. As she leaves the dorm, the heavy sound of the door shutting is the only noise that cuts through the palpable tension. 

"How could you do that?" You ask, voice small, not even turning around to look at Rosé. You doubt that she's even sorry. 

She isn't sorry. At least, not for kissing you. It felt good to have you like that, and she doesn't regret it. However, from what angle of your face your side profile offers to her, she can see how upset you are. That's what makes her feel the slightest bit guilty for her timing. 

"I spent so much time trying to get you to notice me, and now you choose to do that? You're unbelievable, Roseanne-- I'm finally happy, and what, you want to ruin that?” She takes the blows as they come, staying quiet. “If you've ever cared about me at all then you'll stay away." You set your jaw, willing the tears to go away. You've wasted too many on her, and you'll be damned to look weak right now. 

"Y/N, I-" 

"No. Don't apologize when we both know you don't mean it. You've always been selfish, Rosé." You bite back, not caring if the words cut her down like her old ones always used to do to you. Earlier, before her little stunt, you were starting to feel sorry for her; clearly though, that was yet another mistake on your part. 

You leave without another word, praying that she doesn't further complicate the situation by following after you. Jennie is the only thing on your mind as you hop in your car, having an idea of where she might be.

--

"Jennie, no. I promise this isn't what you think." 

Your worried voice replays in her mind for the millionth time, further tormenting her. She's been cheated on before, so that phrase isn't a new thing to her. 

She was always afraid this would happen. She used to lay awake at night, overthinking as usual, wondering when the beautiful thing the two of you created would ultimately come crashing down. It was too good to be true, and she curses herself for foolishly believing any different. 

The better part of an hour passes by as she sits on the park bench, reminiscing on all the memories you've made here. The idea of ending things with you and starting over with someone else sinks in, and she hates the feeling. She only wants you -- she's only ever wanted you -- and the thought that things could really be over now hurts her more than she cares to admit. 

Your eyes scan across the park, ghosting over the playground equipment until they zero in on her, sitting near the fountain that you shared your first kiss. Such a sap, you smile bittersweetly. 

You ruffle through the plastic bag that sits in the passenger's seat, moving the receipt out of the way so that you can pick up what you're really after. Returning your hands to the steering wheel, you grip it while giving yourself a little pep talk before exiting the car. You press a kiss to the present in your hand for good luck, hoping this encounter will go well. 

Water spouts from the top of the fountain, the sound growing louder the closer you get to Jennie. Her back is turned to you, and for that you're thankful -- you're not quite prepared to see how she'll be looking at you. Now just a few feet away, you say, "Marry me."

You’ll do whatever it takes to show her how crazy you are about her.

Her head whips around, completely taken aback by your proposal. She thinks that there's no way you're serious, but when she looks down to find her favorite flavor of ring pop in your hand, her eyes widen. You're sick of wasting time, and seeing that she hasn't yelled at you or turned you away yet, you take advantage of the situation. 

"Marry me, Jennie," you repeat, taking small, careful steps towards her until you're right next to the bench. "She kissed me, but I tried to push her away. I told her that you're the only one for me." 

She blinks, taking in your words as she notices you nervously toy with the plastic wrapper of the candy. She knows you're telling the truth; you're a terrible liar, and you wouldn't be here right now if you didn't want her back. If you wanted to choose Rosé over her, you had the perfect opportunity to do so back at the dorm.

But you don't; you want Jennie, and now you're standing in the middle of your favorite park, proposing with a piece of candy to prove that to her. The things you do for love. 

"It just scared me, Y/N. Seeing her wrapped around you like that--"

"I know, baby. I know. But I promise I didn't want it, and it meant nothing to me. I'm so in love with you, Jennie Kim." 

She smiles at the dopey grin on your face, seeing how smitten you are. 

"Okay," she answers back, yet again looking at your hands. 

"Is that a yes?" You ask, slowly beginning to tear open the wrapper. 

"Yes, dummy. I'll marry you." She declares, nodding her head with a laugh at how slow you are sometimes. 

"Yay!" You shout, stepping forward to pick her up in your arms. You set her back down with a smile, slipping the ring onto her finger as your heart soars. 

Jennie kisses you, letting the action convey all the emotions she's been through in the past few hours. "I love you." She sighs, resting her forehead against yours. 

"I'd surely hope so, jagi," you smirk against her lips, giggling at the squeal she lets out when you playfully pinch her side. Her kisses are replacing all traces of Rosé, and she's comforted by the fact that you'll so adamantly choose her, everyday. 

With a smile, Jennie realizes something: never again will she be forced to dream of having you in another life -- her wishes came true, and now she'll have you in this one, always.

[madisonbeersource]

Hiii is anyone going to the in SLC? If so do any of you lovely people want what’s in one of the vip tour packages? My boyfriend is coming with me and isn’t interested in what’s included in the package. So I thought I’d give it to one of you. Feel free to message or inbox me for details

Ps. Thank you queen for letting me advertise in your ask box. Would a 100% die for you🥺🥰

pls if you're interested in what my gorgeous queen has to offer don't hesitate on Dm-ing her directly!!

ps: i love you and i'd die for you hands down! ):

[noonymoon]

hi tumblr~!

as some of you maybe remember i’ve almost died in April this year and i’ve wanted to sincerely thank everyone who was so kind to reach out to me through my friend Ariel. it was amazing to read your messages after waking up from a couple days of post-6h-brain-surgery-coma right on my 30th birthday while being entirely alone in the hospital due to this crappy covid situation. it really made me happy in that situation and i appreciate it. it’s now August and apart from a few weird and annoying things that still need rehabilitation, i’ve actually recovered entirely! which is a miracle in itself and i am very, very grateful.

this experience really forced me to wake up. i’ve already gone through a lot of trauma in the three years that led up to this point but this happening, this one was really, really bad. during my three weeks in the hospital, i was too damaged and too drugged to really think about it but as soon as i was released, a huge spiritual depression creeped up on me. nothing made sense anymore. what is the meaning of life? how do we define personal success? why does nothing seem important at all? i’ve wrestled with it and picked myself up again because i thought “i just have to be more positive and see the actual miracle here!” and was eager to continue with my life the way it was before: i’ve ordered a bunch of spiritual books, almost signed up for a really expensive class on mediumship and forced myself back into divination after not having practiced for a whole month. i’ve also started to talk with “my angels” again but something felt just really, really off. my tarot cards just didn’t tell me anything anymore, the passion, the feeling, the love - it was all gone. my spiritual depression and then fake motivation turned into a spiritual crisis and i didn’t know what was happening. 

around the same time, i’ve got confronted with two other things: one was the actual happenings of the real world (which i’ve usually pushed faaaar back in my mind because i’ve already learned over 10 years ago that it just made me sick) and another thing that really just bugged and annoyed me deeply. i’ve had the same annoying and bugging thing knocking on my door just like one or two months earlier and i’ve violently pushed it away because i didn’t wanna deal with it at all. but this time, i’ve tried to just remain open. it was a huge struggle back and forth. i think for a few days i’ve changed my mind on this topic like 5 times. i even called my grandmother to ask her what i should do and think about this (and i never really do that at all, i am kinda very private when it comes to my actual family *lol*).

long story short: i’ve surrendered and just tried to remain open from there on because to be quite honest, i actually knew nothing about the topic in question, for real, i just had a bunch of bad prejudices, i guess. 

researching A LOT about both topics in question, tearing down my ignorant walls, crying utterly, praying for the truth, consuming knowledge, i’ve realized that suddenly everything makes sense. this entire crazy world suddenly made sense. every single part of it. 

i’ve realized A LOT of things. i’ve realized how bad my life had actually been. i’ve realized how wrong i was and how i’ve been deceived to think that THIS is truly what life is. i was shocked but felt great relief at the same time.

when i’ve felt the Love of God, our one true creator, upon me - and it was so immense that it actually hurt - i’ve cried out bitterly, repented of my sins, and invited Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour.

i know that this is probably not the environment that is open to Him because i was in the exact same place just last year. i was so mad when Doreen Virtue posted her blog post about how literally every single spiritual thing is evil and straight up a deception from Satan and i’ve called her a hypocrite and a liar, all that jazz, i totally get it. i’ve dug into the what’s and why’s and how’s and have to say i come to the exact same conclusion, even if this sounds super radical - it is the truth.

i am not religious, never was, never will be. i am not even baptized, never been to a single religion class in my life. i am literally a blank paper and not indoctrinated by any infiltrated teaching or view about what Christianity is supposed to be. Jesus is not about religion. the gospel of Jesus was never intented to be a religion. even Jesus himself rebuked the religious people in the story of the Bible because they twisted the faith in God already back then.

i am not denying that there ARE other deities since i know first hand that a lot of people work with them. the story of the Bible was never intended to display that there IS only ONE God - the story of the Bible is that there IS only ONE creator, the only true God who deserves praise.

obviously the Bible is a lot more complicated and a lot more layered in its message (it’s been only like 2 months and of course i am not entirely through it yet *lol*) but from my extensive research and my prayers to Jesus to please reveal the truth to me, i’ve been discovering MINDBLOWING things.

i am not here to convert any of you if you don’t want that. if you feel uncomfortable with the whole topic, i can understand this entirely since i know how i’ve felt before i’ve let God’s love and truth touch my heart. i won’t tell you what to do in regards to your faith. 

i am ACTUALLY here again to blog about the first topic i’ve mentioned that i was confronted with: the world happenings that i urge everyone to know about since times could get really, really difficult soon-ish. since both topics go deeply hand in hand, i needed to give my testimony first.

i invite you to stay on this blog and just read into what i am presenting you in the following posts. my mission is to not bash anyone with too much information or extremely long posts that nobody has time to read, provide good ressources and keywords for research, if you’re interested.

i pray for all people to wake up from this fake world and that all of you are safe and protected ♡ may God bless everyone who is reading ♡

PS. please don’t message me! i know i’ve used to love to talk to literally everyone on here, but i truly don’t have neither the capacity nor time nor mood to really socially engage online anymore. i am still rehab-ing my health, managing my life, studying the word of God and doing a ton of research.

[fictionkinfessions]

Hey, sorry if you’ve already answered this before but I’ve looked for the answer everywhere and can’t seem to find it

I’ve been seeing the word “fakclaim(ing)” used in the DID/OSDD and kinning communities and I was wondering if you could give me like a definition of what a fakeclaim is? I think I have an understanding of what it is but since I can’t find an exact definition in the context of plurality/kinning I can’t be too sure and wanted to ask someone else about it

This is so bizarre. Do people really use that tag outside of confession blogs?

Fakeclaim was a custom blog tag meant only for fictionkinfessions to blacklist confessions about kintype double invalidation. It was never meant to be an actual alterhuman term.

So like back on the first, original fictionkinfessions blog--about late 2014 early 2015--someone sent a message to Mod Maude. [I think it was Mod Maude? I don't remember the other mods. Maybe me, idk?] It was definitely around 2015 as per the first fakeclaim tag on the old blog: https://fictionkinfessionsarchived.tumblr.com/tagged/fakeclaim/chrono

The anon wanted confessions where the person called other people fake. It was mainly aimed fictionkin I think? Because for fictives it would be tagged ableism cw. I'm not sure.

Anyways, in order to have a unique tag that wouldn't appear in fandom tags or general tag search results, Mod Maude made the word 'fakeclaim'. As in 'claim [another person is] fake'.

It was originally only a blog tag for blacklisting kintype double invalidation on a confession blog. I have no idea why people would use it for other things? I guess it is pretty handy and to the point.

The 'inval' tag for only self directed invalidation would be created after the fakeclaim tag.

If anyone has a link to the original message about making this tag, please do link me? I could add link it on the Blacklists Tag page for posterity.

Oh and while I'm here, 'multikin issue' was another tag made on the fictionkinfessions blog. It meant the confession was mentioning or discussing kintype doubles. Polyfickin is the term for when a person has multiple kintypes, not multikin. But people don't really research terms or help blogs weren't very helpful lollerskates! So that word is also changed. Zest la vee!

Mod Party Cat!

ps holy shit it’s been like 5+ years of fictionkinfessions, whaat the hell omg lollerskates??

[lawrenceop]

HOMILY for 19 December

preached at the weekly Conventual Mass. 

Judges 13:2-7. 24-25; Ps 70; Luke 1:5-25

The prophet Joel had said that the Holy Spirit will be poured out upon all peoples, and then “your old men shall dream dreams, and your young men shall see visions.” (2:28) The main protagonist in St Luke’s writings is the Holy Spirit, and from the very beginning he inspires us, he wants us to see that this is the time: the Holy Spirit is being poured out upon us, because, old men are once again seeing visions, and the young are dreaming dreams. My question, brothers, is: are we dreaming dreams; are we seeing visions; are we being open to the Holy Spirit that has been given to us? 

For in these days, if we follow our daily newspapers and Twitter feeds, the vision for 2021 can be gloomy: the economic forecast isn’t great, there is still much uncertainty about global vaccination, and many a dream has been dashed this year. But in the middle of all this bad news today the Liturgy for the 19th of December proclaims another bit of news. The angel Gabriel tells Zechariah that he “was sent to bring you this good news��� (Lk 1:19). Indeed, the Gospel he brings is addressed now to you and me too – to our world and to its weary and wary people. For the good news is that “you will have joy and gladness” and that many will be converted to God, turning back to “the wisdom of the virtuous” (Lk 1:14. 17). This is one vision, perhaps, for the providential outcome of this pandemic that has so unsettled our world and its ‘normal’ wisdom. But do we dare to see such a vision, do we dare dream of this, and then pray for the conversion of our nation, our parish, our communities? 

Pope Francis dares. Back on the 27th of March, standing in a rain sodden St Peter’s Square he said: “Faith begins when we realise we are in need of salvation. We are not self-sufficient; by ourselves we founder: we need the Lord, like ancient navigators needed the stars. Let us invite Jesus into the boats of our lives. Let us hand over our fears to him so that he can conquer them… Because this is God’s strength: turning to the good everything that happens to us, even the bad things. He brings serenity into our storms, because with God life never dies.” This is the dream of an old man who is responsive to the Holy Spirit, and who thus has a vision of a world that can become more merciful, more hospitable, more fraternal as a result of this pandemic.

One of the effects, though, of being immersed in the media and its worldview is that people can become cynical, or just too defeated by it all. Many can see the Gospel and the Christmas story as a pious platitude; a comforting Nativity play that our children enact once a year, like a pantomime world to escape into. But not this year: the theatres have been closed, and Nativity plays are rare. And so we focus again on the good news and the drama of salvation; on the greatest love story ever known: the union of God and Man in the Incarnation, in the womb of the Virgin Mother which the Liturgy poetically calls the 'thalamus', the wedding chamber. So, as the New York Times put it, in Europe where the theatres are closed, the Church’s Liturgy is the “only show in town.” And I hope some of the weary and wary will come to it, and that the Holy Spirit will be poured out upon them, to turn their hearts to the One who alone can save humanity. 

But old Zechariah expresses a kind of cynicism, or the wariness that comes from being weary when he doubts the angel’s vision and he says: “I am an old man, and my wife is advanced in years” (Lk 1:18). Our European society, as Pope Francis has observed, has, it seems, also become old and weary; the eyesight fails, and so there is no vision; the limbs are trembling and so there is little energy or courage to bring about a different outcome. But whereas Man is old and weakened by sin, wearied by years of struggle and worn down by the indifference of a world that doesn’t ‘do God’, God is ever young and strong in his grace and love. And his Holy Spirit descends to prepare the way, causing “old men to dream dreams, and young men to see visions”. And this, too, I have experienced week after week in my associations with our parishioners and young adults. 

Hence St Luke’s Gospel opens with the activity of the Holy Spirit who brings new life: the old have visions and become pregnant and prophesy; the young dream dreams, and become pregnant too, and receive direction from God for a way forward away from the murderous intent of Herod and to life in a strange and foreign land. And this is the kind of good news, life-giving news that the angel Gabriel brings to a tired and old Zechariah today. And this is the same good news the world needs to hear too, especially after a wearying year like 2020. As Pope Francis said to the European Parliament in 2014: “[I] offer a message of hope and encouragement to all the citizens of Europe… It is a message of hope in the Lord, who turns evil into good and death into life”. 

As friars preachers, then, each of us have been called to become messengers of God’s good news, to become angels of Christian hope in our world. Like Gabriel, we begin by “stand[ing] in the presence of God”. Through prayer; through our ministry at the Altar of God; through meditating on God’s Word, we are steeped in God’s presence, and are open to the action of the Holy Spirit. But this contemplation is a preparation for our mission, for we are sent out like God’s messengers, his angels, to say to his people: “I bring you this good news”. For we proclaim a God who is with us. Hence Pope Francis said back when this pandemic broke: “Embracing the Lord in order to embrace hope: that is the strength of faith, which frees us from fear and gives us hope” because “with God life never dies.” This Christmastide, and in the coming year, therefore, let us be messengers of hope. Let us help God’s people to dream dreams, and see visions; let all at St Dominic’s receive the Holy Spirit that I know the Lord wants to pour out on our priory, our parish, and this community. 

[wyrd-weaver]

Hey I just wanted to thank you again for reaching out the other day. I'm super weird and not good at people-ing. Also I hate bothering people and stuff so I'll probably never end up venting to you but I really wanted you to know it meant a lot to me.

sincerely,

thank you

Hi, I’m exactly the same, don’t worry! You’re never a bother, trust me. If you do ever feel the need to vent, just message! Thank you for this, it’s really sweet. And remember, reaching out is an extremely good thing, even if it doesn’t seem like that at first!  ^^

(PS. I tried to find the function that would let me respond to this in private, but it doesn’t seem to be here anymore, so I apologise xx)

[thequarrelsome]

i just want people to know, i love all of u, i’m tired all the time and i barely do my threads and asks

but i love all of u and pls don’t take anything i do personally, i’m just trying not to drown in everything i do in rl and also try and have fun with video games, tiny bit of drawing, PS, reading, tabletop rp’s and rp-ing here

i sometimes forget to reply to people’s messages, i jump around with thread replies and asks, i’m terrified i’m going to offend someone if i don’t reply quick enough... but i’m also just trying to live my life as best as i can because i’m a human mess

[theoi-crow]

Hey! i don't know if you care to answer this so feel free to ignore but i was just wondering how you met your partner? i'm a sucker for a good love story as i am amidst my own at the moment, y'all two remind me of my own relationship and i'd love hearing a bit more about how y'all met!

Hi!!!

Oh my gods this question made me smile as soon as I saw it! I also showed it to Sky who blushed and was being super cute so thank you for that! 🥰

WARNING!!!! Get ready for the sappiest thing I have ever written in my life and because I'm a sucker for this, I'm adding GIFs to really give you a sense of my feelings!

Before Sky (@skylerisgay aka @delicatestar <- spiritual blog) came into my life, I had no desire to be with anyone. I had an "I was born alone so I will die alone" kind of motto.

As I got older I wrote a REALLY LONG letter. In the letter, I described the kind of qualities I wanted a life mate to possess and then I lost it.

Before losing my letter, I held it close to my heart, closed my eyes and made my wish to whichever god was listening (I will later learn Aphrodite was with me that night.)

Years past and nothing happened but I felt this confidence deep in my heart that assured me my person was out there. My family and friends even insisted I start dating but I refused because in my heart of hearts, I knew my person was looking for me too.

Then one day I had this OVERWHELMING feeling to get back into a fandom I used to be obsessed with.

I had ANOTHER OVERWHELMING feeling to create a role play account on Twitter (of all places) and search for roleplay friends, which was weird since prior to that I had never roleplayed before.

That's when I came across Sky's account.

I felt an arrow go through my heart which was odd given that their roleplay account had no personal information whatsoever. Everything described the character they roleplayed. Even the icon they were using was the same being used by 20 other roleplayers.

There was nothing that told me anything about this person and yet I felt this electricity sparking my soul. My heart kept screaming "it's them! It's the person I was looking for!" So I sent them a message in character, followed them but they never replied.

I then convinced myself the feeling of being shot by Cupid's arrow had all been in my head.

I found a roleplaying community and continued roleplaying. Life went on.

I met and had been roleplaying with a different person RP-ing as the same character Sky was playing (with the same icon). Because I played a rival character, so I was used to their tweets but one day they sent a tweet that shot electricity all over me.

I looked at their username and it wasn't the person I had been RP-ing with but Sky! We roleplayed and our characters flowed well together.

After months of pretending to be characters from our shared fandom, we started talking out of character and found we had A LOT in common (even though as people, we are complete opposites).

After a few more weeks of tweeting we started texting, and then talking on the phone. We talked for hours...

But I had really bad PTSD back then and it can get in the way of relationships if not treated properly. Since I was never able to afford help for mine, there were a lot of bumps in our relationship.

Because my PTSD had a habit of pushing people away, it had convinced me I was incapable of love or being loved.

I didn't want to waste Sky's time because they were an amazing person who deserved their own happiness so I started to distance myself from them. I expected them to be okay with it but they were not going to let my fear bully me out of this relationship.

Thats when they told me about the first time they saw my tweets. "It's going to sound weird and I want you to know I'm not the kind bc of person who would say this but...it almost felt like being shot by Cupid's arrow? Like feeling electricity I everytime we interact."

As a show of trust, they sent me a picture of what they looked like, and I swear on every god I work with, when I first saw Sky my life flashed before my eyes. I saw us laughing, loving, traveling (even though I had never left my little California corner) and growing old together. It felt like I was having a heart attack.

They were coming to a convention I usually went to and I was so nervous that I had convinced myself not to go but after feeling my heart ache, I closed my eyes and could feel Aphrodite say "go for it." So I met up with them.

We hit it off in person, kept visiting eachother and eventually moved in together.

A few years later Sky was cleaning an old closet of mine when they found my very long letter (the one where I wrote the qualities I wanted in a life mate) and started to cry because...

It described them perfectly.

Sky kept the letter and read it to themselves on days when my PTSD was particularly hard.

When I was able to finally afford it, I went to therapy and worked hard with the letter in my pocket to give me strength because I believed in us and I wasn't going to let my PTSD push Sky away the way it usually pushed everyone else.

I'm happy to say that after 10 wonderful years of Aphrodite binding us together, Sky and I will be traveling Europe in a Disney Cruise to celebrate!

And that's our story!

I am also a sucker for love stories so if you are up for it, please share yours!

Also thank you so much for having me type this. I feel like Aphrodite wanted me to take a step back and appreciate what she has done and continues to do for our relationship which has been beyond my wildest dreams!

May the gods bless your happiness the way this ask blessed me!

-PS I forgot to mention that we got married back in 2013! ^^

[kaylorfossil]

🖊👵🏻🍪 Fossil Un-Fun Fan Letter 🍪👵🏻🖊

Dearest Karlie,

🔸It strikes my presbyopic peepers that you might be feeling a bit like a burnt kookie these days, @karliekloss , so I thought I’d send you a message to hang in there (even though you don’t know me, and you know FAR more than I do about what’s going on, and you won’t see this anyway).

🔸As I’ve said before I’m sure you understand why so many of our loyal tinhats have been increasingly angry/upset with you because your own choices have caused your public identity to be juxtaposed with that of a major architect behind the current diabolical threats against our nation from within our own highest levels. Bearding’s never fun from our vantage point, but the layers of ick re: your particular beard on top of the usual are making it exponentially worse.

🔸Though it’s not hard to understand why you’re getting such vehement backlash, I absolutely hate that you’re having to go through it because I know how it must hurt. Unfortunately, the world’s grown harsher since you were 19 years old, and I think you’re paying a high price for your loyalty.

🔸 So fwiw I’m not angry at you at all because I see that you couldn’t know how bad things would get. I take it on faith that you had good reasons for renewing your bearding contract, and I haven’t wavered in my belief that you are and have always been the amazing, adorable, hilarious, intelligent, talented, kind-hearted person we fans know and love.

🔸However, I no longer believe **** is your friend, because he’s done zero to limit your exposure as the dumpster fire surrounding his name has grown hotter and hotter. This is clearly a character-revealing issue for him ESPECIALLY since you’re taking the public fall for him, since you are by far the more well-known celebrity.

🔸Contract or not, dishonorable and cowardly are the nicest words I can come up with for how he keeps using you despite the harm his proximity inflicts upon you. I suspect he uses your deep sense of honor and integrity against you, which is despicable. If I ever meet that coward he’s going to hear what I think about it all, too, even if I end up in the river wearing concrete boots!

🔸So though I’m not angry at you, I AM very angry on your behalf. It’s not at all that you’re helpless; quite the contrary, but there are tons of smart, powerful people who have been manipulated into contortions they never could have imagined by selfish people in their orbit with gooey spines and slippery morals. I want you on solid ground where the steps you take will lead where you think they will.

🔸I don’t know how **** and your ‘team’ are spinning to you about how all this looks from the outside, but here’s some unsolicited advice from a seasoned stranger with only your well-being at heart: if you haven’t already, 1) identify people around you who are taking verifiable steps toward a working environment that favors YOU, 2) thank them & hold onto their arm for a second while you..., 3) grab a broom and shoo everybody else out of your life ASAP. 4) PS: They’ll squawk; plug your ears.

🔸With this kind of fan mail who needs fans, right??? I’m sorry my admiration and adoration of you led me to say un-fun things, but it’s been hard seeing you being dragged knowing some of it makes sense. My hope is maybe you can see that even your ride-or-die fans like me are ready for this chapter of The F***ing Story to be over. Turn the page. Please.

🔸In conclusion, we are all ready for that chapter where we get our own secret session. You know, where we gorge on kookies as Taylor plays us songs and you and Taylor answer ALL our ??? and show genuine sympathy for how we had y’all’s backs through all kinds of crap (like that time you snuck your eyeball into Taylor’s face and laughed at our cluelessness for 1.5 YEARS!!!😡). We’re on your side; we love you; we’re ready to celebrate with you. Hang in there as you grab that razor. 😘🍪🌈🦋💃👁

Your Friend and Fan,

KaylorFossil 👵🏻

[illtaketheskyanyday]

update:

(( okay, in case people were wondering why I haven’t done much actual RP threads besides meme-ing on this blog and pretty much shitpost, it’s because I have decided that I will be restarting my Falco once Ruby is open.

I have a few reasons for this, many being the fact that my first hurrah with my muse was a bit choppy and anxiety filled with constant bouts of insecurity. And honestly, the best thing I could have done was open my Lucy muse so I could step away for a while and rethink what I really wanted to do with my Falco.

You see, I’ve always meant for him to be a flexible fool, welcoming to anyone wanting to bounce on him--for laughs or for the angst that will follow a much deeper exploration. So he’s not meant to keep at one note. Unfortunately, that’s what I felt I was doing at first, then quickly trying to make myself unique as though my own style and vision for him wasn’t already unique enough. AKA, the artist will always be harsher on themselves.

I guess that comes with the territory.

But having another muse, and about to open one more and working on another, helped me on this. So did people constantly wanting to interact with my Falco and I am very grateful for that.

So yeah, the restart is pretty much an update on Falco’s blog, updating his history, and giving a look at the threads I have. There are many I want to continue, and some I will regardless. But if you’d prefer to have something fresh or new instead, please send me a message.

PS: This does not apply to those I’ve just started a thread with recently or started planning, as in this past week. Don’t worry ;w;

Also I’m taking longer on Ruby because she is an OC that requires a lot of care to write a backstory for. And having to combine that with Falco will be interesting. But it’ll work out!

Aaaa I’m sorry for the babbles. Y’all have a good night!

[cheaper-by-the-half-dozen]

All of these have to be finalized by 11:59 PM on Monday. (I put my pepsi bottle there for comparison) We are still missing 26 fiscals that haven't been returned so my hope is these will all be done before I come in on Monday so that I can dedicate monday to fiscals that are turned in last minute. I'm almost there. But damn this has been a nightmare. (PS I'll extend this to instagram and tumblr as well. I cannot commit to texting or im-ing all day however if you're interested in a long message once a day or once every few days lemme know. We can email, do insta or tumblr messages or whatever. I'm trying to build more meaningful relationships with people and I know many of you are like me and dont want to bother people.) https://www.instagram.com/p/BzQWITIp-U3/?igshid=wwcci3hzjwnv

[writers-leir]

birthday special

here’s a belated birthday gift to lee jeno aka the most beautiful eye smile ever!!!! i hope you keep smiling forever <333

ps. lowkey also my birthday present to myself woops i’m not self-indulging hahahahah what

happy birthday jeno!!!!

birthdayboy!jeno

ok so obviously april 23 is a super important date because!!!!!!!it was the day that the one and only lee jeno eye smile extraordinaire was born!!!!!!!

and you as the s/o had something planned for him (specifically ordering pizza and chicken and cake and watching disney movies at the dorm with him and the rest of his members because how else are you supposed to spend your birthday right?)

and you have it all planned out okay cause according to your sources (aka dream team) they’re busy with practice all day

so you and the other nct boys have the entire day to decorate the dorms

you arrive at the dorms super early with bags full of decorations (carried with the help of jaehyun because uhm you weren’t gonna walk all the way to their dorms with four bags of balloons and streamers and confetti bombs and presents hidden at your apartment)

and the plan is super detailed and organized (with a cooking team & a decorating team set up in each room) but once you and the other boys start it turns,,,,,,,,,Messy

yuta keeps leaving his post to go watch winwin help taeyong bake (leaving taeil on the stepladder alone until someone-specifically jungwoo-notices and runs to go help him)

you started to keep a tally of how many times lucas accidentally sets off a confetti bomb but you stopped after you realized there were only three left and you had to make an emergency run to the toy shop to try and snatch up some more

you were halfway back to the dorms when doyoung called you and said that they needed more strawberries and also four pizzas cause they got hungry

and you’re standing in line for pizza when you get a text from jeno and you’re like !!!!!!!he’s so cute,,,,,,,,,,,,, cause he’s sending you stickers and messages asking you if you were awake yet and if you wanted to hang out w/ him at the dorms that night

and being the sneaky person you are you hadn’t said happy birthday to him yet so when you message him back you purposefully leave out the greeting

and at practice jeno’s like )))))): cause he’s thinking you forgot his birthday (and cause the first thing he was told when he woke up was ‘you have practice all day today you should get ready to go’)

jaemin notices him and goes like ?????what’s wrong why are you ))):-ing??? which attracts the attention of donghyuck who comes over too

jeno asks them if they know what day it is and jaemin’s like ….jaemin.jpeg,,,,,,while donghyuck internally is like HE KNOWS WE’VE BEEN FOUND ABORT but externally he’s a little piece of sdkghaksjdf so he’s like,,,,,,,,,it’s monday???

and jeno FALLS FOR IT so he’s like oh,,,,,,,,,,,,))))))))): i’m fine don’t worry about me ))))));

jaemin and donghyuck at first are like,,he fell for it,,,,,,,,,,we’re saved

BUT THEN jeno turns to mark and goes ‘i’m not feeling well can i go back to the dorms?’

and then the rest of the members start screaming internally because,,,,,,,,,,,,they had one (1) job and they somehow failed

mark’s like ok,,,,,we’ll all send you back and jeno’s like ???i can just get the manager to send me back you can keep practicing but mark’s like noooo we’ll all go we’re worried

and while they’re getting ready to go back chenle’s sending you messages like ABORT MISSION and WE’RE GOINGBACK WE FAILED

and you receive those messages right after you’ve gotten the pizza and you’re like i gave those kids??????one job??????????they had O N E JOB????????????AKSDGHAKJLDSF???????// so you’re calling taeyong like hi the kids failed i’m RUNNING right now to get back pls be ready fast

back at the dorms they’re all sort of screaming now because what the h e c k you’d think that for people who have really good breath control it’d be easy to blow up the balloons but apparently not

once you get back you throw the pizza boxes onto the counter and scramble to hide behind the couches after turning off the lights because mark texted you saying they were almost there and were 90% sure they saw you ignoring a streetlight and sprinting for it when there were basically no cars on the road

the doors open and as soon as the lights are turned on you and the other nct boys jump out and break open the confetti bombs screaming ‘happy birthday!!!’,,,,,,,,only to hear mark let out a tiny shriek

jeno walks in after him super confused until he sees the banners and streamers and he’s like,,,,,,,,,,,,did you plan all this,,,,,,for my birthday????

and you’re standing behind johnny so you kind of have to hop onto the couch to stand above him to see jeno

and jeno’s basically the blowing nose emoji ( ➝ 🤧🤧) because wtf he wasn’t expecting this

once everyone’s wished him happy birthday and are happily munching on pizza while they wait for the cake to finish baking jeno’s eye smile is back and you’re now the 🤧 emoji because seeing him happy just makes you so happy

he’s smiling at you really wide too and you’re like did you think i forgot your birthday??? the birthday of the most beautiful person in the world??? and he’s like,,,,,,,,,,honestly maybe )):

and you wish him happy birthday and manage to kiss his cheek really quickly before taeyong calls you two over, saying that if you didn’t hurry, they’d eat the rest of the pizza (bless his precious soul for saving you and jeno a piece each)

and for the rest of the night, all of you watch old disney movies and playing mario kart

and while you’re sitting on the couch, wrapped up in one blanket together jeno’s like thank you,,,,,,,for spending the day with me i really like you

and you’re like ajhgdskjfadsf i really like you too jeno stop being so soft you’re making my heart burst ))))))):

and before you two fall asleep you tell him

‘i hope you don’t stop liking me because i don’t plan on ever stopping celebrating your birthdays with you’

jeno falls asleep with a smile that night ((((:

[cryptobitcointrading-whalea-blog]

The So Called Bitcoin-Bitcoin Cash Is Doomed To Fork In November 2018

The cryptosphere is gasping for breath with prices stabilizing and reaching its real value after the inflated prices in December 2017.  It has been well over half a year into the bear market but there is hardly any day in the cryptosphere that is not interesting.  And right now, the interest is around  Bitcoin Cash .   For those of you who don’t know about Bitcoin Cash, it is a notorious fork of Bitcoin that came into existence last year in August as there was no solution of long-standing scaling issue of Bitcoin. Since then Bitcoin Cash (BCH) and Bitcoin (BTC) have gone separate ways, but BCH has continued to attack BTC repeatedly.   However, the good news is Bitcoin has handled the attacks comfortably and has become a more resilient network, thanks to BCH.  But the funny thing is, BCH is now on the verge of a chain split!  Yeah, you heard it right. BCH, which was a result of rage against Bitcoin, has itself fallen in the death trap with its creators having a hard time coming to a consensus. (PS: BCH is centralized, and this is the proof).  I know some of you might be thinking why split when you already split once from BTC owing to differences in opinion over scaling.  That’s exactly what we are going to discuss today.  So in this article, I am going to tell you:   What’s going on?  Who are all involved?  What do they want?  What should you do?   What’s Going On In The BCH Crew?  Bitcoin Cash, since its formation, has decided to hard fork every 6 months for planned protocol upgrades but only if the consensus is there.  This time, however, there is no consensus.   Bitcoin ABC Side [Bitman]   It all started when Bitcoin ABC, the most used Bitcoin Cash client, and its lead developer Amaury Séchet ( @deadalnix ), proposed a change in the upcoming November fork.  The changes go like this:   The specific features included in the November 15th upgrade, and provided by Bitcoin ABC 0.18.0, are:     A new opcode called OP_CHECKDATASIG that improves the BCH scripting language to permit the validation of messages from outside the blockchain. This will enable users such as the use of oracles and cross-chain atomic contracts.    The introduction of canonical transaction ordering. This is a technical building block that lays the foundation for massive scaling improvements in the future.    Several minor technical fixes and improvements.    These changes are part of ABC’s plan to make BCH the most scalable, usable and extensible blockchain. It further opens the doors for non-cash transactions on the Bitcoin Cash blockchain.  Here is a sneak peek into ABC’s vision for BCH:     ABC guys also want to keep the block size as 32 MB as of now, but the nChain people don’t agree on it.  ABC is also joined by Bitman who happens to control significant BCH mining power and have rejected the idea of Bitcoin SV (discussed later in the article)   Big drama when I woke up,  @JihanWu  called  @ProfFaustus   #faketoshi  in a private group chat  #BCH   #BitcoinCash  translation attached  pic.twitter.com/hIKmTf4Htu   — 🎀 (@cryptovenus)  August 21, 2018      To which Dr. Craig S Wright responded in this manner:   There is ONE reason why Jihan and Haipo oppose scaling.  If we scale, allow the script to be used, then, you can do anything WHC does – native in BCH.  No control by Bitmain.  This is the issue. This is why Wu wants PoS. He wants control without work.  pic.twitter.com/oo9pnsN3ha   — Dr Craig S Wright (@ProfFaustus)  August 28, 2018       nChain Side [CoinGeek]   But the idea of ABC invited opposition from Dr. Craig S Wright and his company nChain.  They are against the idea of using Bitcoin Cash blockchain for non-cash transactions and also don’t support canonical transactions because of two reasons – one, it is not required currently, and two, it hasn’t had enough testing so far.  nChain has its support from one of the biggest BCH miners, i.e., CoinGeek who wants BCH to be restored to original BTC design when it was forked and also doesn’t supports canonical transactions. It also wants the current block size to be raised to 128 MB.   So what now?    nChain Releases Satoshi Vision      To counter Bitcoin ABC’s proposal, Craig Wright-led nChain has started working on Bitcoin SV, a full node client implementation of BCH, which will not have new OP codes and canonical transactions. Instead, it will increase the size of the blocks.  This is being done on the request of CoinGeek miners who are supportive of miner’s community and are taking technical support from nChain.  They will also start onboarding new miners in the SV pool that will keep alive the dream of Satoshi to continue Bitcoin Cash as a payment protocol.   Mining Teams       Bitcoin ABC & Bitman Side with 22.3 % hash power  CoinGeek & nChain Side with 25.4% hash power   The rest mining pools are with 52% hash power, and no one knows which side they will support. Thus, they have the potential to tilt the needle towards either team.   Which Side Is Roger Ver On?      Talking about BCH and not mentioning Roger Ver is criminal, and in this case, so is not knowing which side he is on.  Well, for now, it looks like he is on the Bitman side and but he has said that he is still evaluating the issue and is not very vocal about it.   What Should You Do?   Here are some of the suggestions that you can follow:   Avoid transactions for some days till the dust settles to avoid replay attacks on BCH chain.  Keep your BCH private keys with you, not on a third party exchange like  Coinbase .  Use hardware wallets like the  Ledger Nano S  and  Trezor .  If you don’t have a hardware wallet, use software wallets like  Mycelium , Jaxx, Coinomi, and  Exodus  to control your private keys.  You can also use a  paper wallet  or  brain wallet .  If you hold your keys in a paper wallet or software wallet, wait for instructions on how to access your Bitcoin SV coins.  You might also want to use Bitcoin Cobra client who is a new group of people launching their own BCH full node client with replay protection. It will not have either of the changes proposed above in the article but will provide replay protection. It also claims to have backing from 25% hash rate miners and support from big exchanges but only time will tell how legit are these claims.    Order Ledger Nano S  |  Order Trezor from the official site    Final thoughts on Bitcoin SV Fork   This fork is totally unnecessary for a BCH-like cryptocurrency which hasn’t even found a ground yet ever since forking from BTC in August 2017.  This will have significant repercussions and result in chaos in the industry, also resulting in many people losing money.  Lastly, I like the final nail in the coffin for Bitcoin SV and Craig Wright by Vitalik Buterin.   The BCH community should NOT compromise with Craig Wright to “avoid a split” and should embrace it as an opportunity to conclusively ostracize and reject him. Bitcoin Craig (BCC) can go take the ticker symbol from the now-defunct cryptocurrency to which it is a fitting successor.  — Vitalik Non-giver of Ether (@VitalikButerin)  August 22, 2018       Now it is time  you share this post with your friends on Twitter & Facebook who are  HODL ing BCH so that they can stay informed.  Also, do share your thoughts and questions in the comments section below. I will be waiting for them 🙂  Here are more articles for further reading:    Bytecoin: A Scam Or A Mismanaged Crypto Project?    How To Transfer ERC20 Tokens To A Ledger Nano S    Exploring The Top 7 Bitcoin Desktop Wallets    Top 5 Best PIVX Cryptocurrency Wallets    Highlighting The Difference Between Sweeping & Importing Private Keys    The post  The So Called Bitcoin-Bitcoin Cash Is Doomed To Fork In November 2018  appeared first on  CoinSutra - Bitcoin Community .

https://coinsutra.com/bitcoin-cash-fork/

#Cryptocurrency  #Bitcoin cash  #Fork

[tunmiseokuku]

How is payola different from/than Influencing ?

This might be a simple question for some to answer, but as my friends have constantly said, I’m internet explorer. So permit my ignorance.

Let me give a little background.

When I joined the media industry as an intern back in ‘97 I of course met the culture of payola - for those who don’t know what this means- a ‘system’ where presenters and dj’s get some form of incentive to play an artists music; majorly cash.

I will not ‘sit’ here and say I never ‘enjoyed’ the dividends of payola. Because I did get colleagues pay me to play certain artistes songs.

BUT

As I grew I found this wasn’t good for the ‘creative’ industry and I quickly became one who would not receive anything to play a song. A song I played had to be on merit.

There is a business side of music promotion. And I am not ‘rubbishing’ that; because it’s legit. I on the other hand believed (and still do) that any artiste upcoming or not; that needed to be heard is heard.

I also know the ‘damage’ a not so well thought out criticism can have on any creative — ask me it’s the reason I don’t do Voice overs till date- story for another day. So I am quite careful how I tell an artiste I can not play their song(s). I will point out if there are production lapses, lyrical depth etc (thank God for Baba Agba’s insistence on knowing and doing good music). So this carried me.

In fact for the period I was in that space; some people were able to know who was behind the mic just by the type and quality of music being played even WHEN/IF I didn’t say a word.

Now to influencing. Which is the new career path; people work hard to be influencers and I appreciate that. My concern though is whatever product I am influencing; does it need to align with my personal values or realities or am I just doing the business owner a Favour even if I’m not sure if the product I am influencing?

On the side of the business owner what is the goal? Visibility or sales? Or both. Will an influencer really close the gap between the process of hard work and the attendant result?

No I am not bashing the ART (for that is what it has become) of influencing , I am only genuinely curious. How much influencing did the big brands that we see today do?

For Example (and this might be very generic) the Coca Cola brand despite all the messaging of it being ‘bad’ for the health because of its sugar contents we still see them bankrolling huge shows including say American idol (where the celebrities are either vegan paleo Mediterranean etc you see where I am going) yet we have these branded cups right in front of them, is that influencing? I genuinely am confused.

So in the light of my explanation. Someone please help me. My people say we no dey know finish. And who knows I might become an influencer soon so that I don’t shoot myself in the leg (the internet never forgets yes?)

So I really need to understand the difference between payola and influencer(s/ing). Maybe payola isn’t the best comparison. (But it’s the closest in my world view)

Yes we pay for value. So how does influencing a product or service you have not used serve?

E se o.

PS: please no disrespect to anyone (not just me) if you want to comment on this. It’s just a question I woke up to this morning and since I can’t get back to sleep until there’s some form of closure? Help a lady ‘cure’ insomnia. Tenkio.

Love yourself; love your neigbhour; love your country; above all these love God He’s the essence of your being