#people always misgender me unless i straight up cover all my hair

[cascadianights]

Absolutely baffling that when I talk about my partner (who is clocked as a cis male by the general public 90% of the time) the second some people realize he's trans they start using they/them?? Despite clear usage of he/him and their grasp of it before?

Then they struggle ENDLESSLY with using they/them for me bc even though I cut off 3/4 of the hair on my head and have more chest & body hair than the cis men I've dated, my hips and chest still clock me as female no matter what

[ashtonisvibing]

"I kissed a boy, and I liked it"

Fandom: Jacksepticeye Egos

Alternate Universe: None? (Jackie isn't a hero in this universe)

Ship(s): Marvelsepticeye

Character(s): Jackieboy Man, Marvin the Magnificent

Warning(s): Alcohol, Sexual Actions(?)

Originally Published: Aug. 30th, 2023

Author's Notes:

so, you guys ever heard of that way better cover of "i kissed a girl", by jupither where it's instead gay (mlm)?

yeah so what if that but it's marvelsepticeye? but also minus the "hope my girlfriend don't mind it", only cuz i feel like it tbh. jackie's single here. and it's more loose inspiration (just the "kissing a fellow guy and getting confused by liking it" bit)

jackie thinking he's straight as a ruler until BOOM, hot guy comes walking up to him at a club

turns out he's very much not straight-

uhhhhh please note that i have NOT written people making out in... a while, so this might turn out like complete shit, and i apologize for that. but hey, can't get better if you don't start somewhere, right?? just be lucky i'm not turning this into a smut piece like i'm thinking of doing, the cringe levels with that writing would be off the charts- unless you guys would be fine with that then i dunno, part two maybe??? you'd have to watch a guy try to fumble around trying to describe sex LMAO

also, you might notice me using masculine terms for marvin. while yes, (my fanon interpretation of) marvin uses they/them pronouns, they're also just totally cool with masc terms! they're fine with any terms, i just sort of default to masc terms with them lol. but don't you worry, i'm not misgendering them, they just got that fun gender where they don't care.

okay, that's it, let's see some guys kiss!

jackie: he/him

marvin: they/them

Full Story:

Clubs were always too loud and too bright for Jackie to enjoy them like everyone else. He could barely stand to look at the flashing lights, and the music was so loud he couldn't hear anyone. That was ignoring the multiple conversations he could hear around him. He couldn't make out a single one, there were too many speaking at once. And that didn't help when someone tried to talk directly to him. It was like their voice became blended with the sea of others. The only safe spot to keep him from developing a migraine was the bar, but even then he'd need noise cancelling headphones to keep the voices from overstimulating him. It didn't help that he also got weird looks from the other bar patrons because all he ordered was a glass of water. He just hated the taste of any alcohol, no matter how much added mixings you might put into them.

The only reason he was even here tonight was because a friend of his wanted to celebrate their birthday here. And despite knowing that clubs were a sensory nightmare for him, they still begged Jackie to come along, even claiming that he was "trying to ruin their birthday". He... Really didn't understand why he still hung around his friends. They never really seemed to respect his boundaries, and he'd laid those out several times for them. He didn't have his car with him but he could easily just call a cab and leave, and he doubted any of them would even notice. They were too absorbed in the dance floor. That's how these club outings always went.

He was just about to pull out his wallet to pay for his water when someone sat down next to him. A man, seemingly a few inches shorter than himself, with long lavender purple hair tied into a loose braid. There were patches of burn scars on their face, hands, and neck, and those were the only ones that could be seen thanks to their long sleeved black dress and tights. Honestly they looked like they were somewhat dressed for Halloween with how much of a witch-y vibe Jackie got from their outfit. And god, were they gorgeous. Jackie didn't need to be queer to recognize that. They had such an elegant and mysterious aura to them, and he took one look and just wanted to know more about them. He wanted to know everything about them.

"So, what's a hot guy like you doing all alone here, hm~?" The person practically purred as they looked over at Jackie, a soft and playful smirk on their lips. Now that they were facing him, Jackie could see that the four card suits were drawn onto their forehead in a diamond layout. Or maybe even tattooed? Their eyes were also a vibrant blue and purple, seemingly glowing in the slight darkness that the bar area provided. But the strangest part of all was their voice. It was a heavenly sound to Jackie, almost hypnotic by how it pulled him in. But it also sounded so... Clear. Like every other voice was immediately drowned out the moment they spoke. But that didn't seem possible, maybe Jackie was just so curious about this person that he could push past the conversations for once.

"Just enjoying a glass of water. And considering leaving." Jackie yelled over the music and voices so the other person could hear him, just in case the noise was too much for them as well. But they just simply laughed and quickly ordered themself a drink; a Bramble, no ice.

"No need to yell handsome, I can hear you loud and clear." They chuckled softly, leaning an elbow against the bar top. "But then again, wonder what other ways you could yell~"

That caused Jackie's brain to just stop all trains of thought it had. Oh, okay, this guy was flirting with him. He didn't really know what to think right now, he'd never had anyone besides women flirt with him. And he never expected to actually... He quickly shook his head in the hopes he could clear his head and make his bright red cheeks fade back to their usual paleness. He didn't know why he suddenly got flustered like that, this had never happened before.

"So- Sorry, you've got the wrong guy, I'm straight." Jackie mumbled a little as he took a sip of his water to try and calm himself down. And to try and ignore how weird it felt to say that. A bad kind of weird. "I'm sure there's plenty of other guys that would love someone like you trying to get into their pants.

The mystery person simply hummed as they took a sip of their own drink now that they had it, swirling it absentmindedly in their hand. "Really now? Never seen a straight guy blush that hard over my words. But hey, what's one quick fuck? Or will that hurt your masculinity too much?"

That got Jackie to nearly choke on his water. He coughed a few times to get his throat cleared before looking back at the other. "Look, I don't know who you are, but you're being a little bit of a dick. I'm sorry I'm the first guy who didn't wanna fuck you, I guess." Oh wow, someone who actually bit back. The other person had to take a moment before just... Smiling, extending a hand to Jackie. Their fingernails were painted a crimson sparkly red.

"Marvin, they/them. Pleased to meet someone who actually has a back bone." They chuckled a little. Jackie looked at the hand held out to him like this was a trick. Marvin had just insulted him a second ago. But he still shook it nonetheless, albeit with slight caution.

"Jackie, he/him. Please to meet someone who spits venom, I guess."

That got a laugh this time from Marvin. "Sorry about that. Sometimes I forget to hold my tongue, it gets me into so much trouble you see." They leaned their head on their folded hands, propped up by their elbows. "But you must admit, quite strange of someone so straight to become so easily flustered, especially with no alcohol. I hadn't even reached my peak."

"You just- Caught me off guard, that's all." Jackie quickly looked away from the other lest his returning blush be shown. He hated that Marvin wasn't really wrong. There was something about them that sparked a feeling in his heart, one he'd certainly never felt before, not even from any women he'd been with. And it was scary. There was nothing wrong with being attracted to other genders, obviously. But he never liked change, even now. Change was unpredictable, he couldn't rationalize it. He didn't know if this was temporary or meant to last, this new feeling.

Marvin only gave a little nod in response, finishing their drink and pulling out the money needed to pay for it. "I'm not one to be lied to, darling. I can read people all too well." When they looked at Jackie, they didn't have a flirty smirk or a condescending look. Just a small smile that actually seemed genuine. "But hey, you clearly don't want to be here. Overstimulating, I'm assuming. You've been wanting to leave for a while. Why not leave with someone you can talk to? Nothing more than that, I promise." They chuckled a little and stood from their stool. "I know when I need to keep my hands to myself."

Okay, at the very least they weren't trying to invite him over for any sort of sex. He thought it over for a few moments. It scared him so much, not knowing what this feeling in his chest was. But at the same time... He wanted to know more. He wanted to discover who Marvin was, even if just for the night. Maybe he'd be able to figure out this feeling if he went. And it wasn't like his friends- No, not really friends. It wasn't like the people he came here with would care. He could just block their numbers if any of them tried contacting him. So with a shrug he stood up as well, placing his pay under his glass and putting his jean jacket on. "Alright, lead me to your place, then."

That brought a smile to Marvin's lips. As said they could easily read people like they were open books, and Jackie posed no challenge. They could see that curiosity now showing in him, over both themself and what happened with himself earlier. And that's why they invited him over: To hopefully help him learn something about himself, in whatever way they needed. Marvin didn't say a word, just taking Jackie's hand and quickly leading him outside and into the alleyway next to the club. Jackie just let himself get towed along. Maybe their car was parked behind the building. But when they stopped halfway through the alley he got confused.

"Um, I don't think this is where we can get a car from."

"Oh trust me hun, we don't need a car." Marvin chuckled. "Just for some privacy." They then held a finger up in front of them, and as they drew shapes in the air those same shapes appeared in front of them both, glowing a soft teal. And once they were done drawing they tapped the middle of the shapes, causing them to glow brighter until they revealed a living room. A portal right into a living room. Jackie backed away a little. There was a portal, right in front of them.

"What the fuck...??" Was the most he could muster. Marvin only chuckled before they stepped in and disappeared into the still image, their hand poking out a second later and beckoning Jackie to follow. He knew, logically, he should be running. He should be trying to wake himself up, there was no way he wasn't sleeping right now. But his curiosity was so peaked right now that he really didn't care. He needed to know what the fuck was currently in front of him. So he decided to take the hand poking out from the portal, just in case something might go wrong, and let himself walk through. And he was in the living room that the portal displayed. And no limbs were missing or suddenly a different color, nor were his clothes suddenly gone. He stepped through and was perfectly safe. And now standing pretty much chest to chest with Marvin, who was letting soft giggles that they couldn't help.

"Pretty good for someone who's never seen magic before, I was fully expecting you to have run off on your heels." Marvin giggled, unknowingly intertwining their fingers together. Just something about how their slightly smaller hand fit into Jackie's so nicely... It had a cozy feeling to it that he wanted to keep for as long as he could.

"Holy shit, that was actually magic..." Jackie ran a hand through his hair before letting out a soft laugh. He actually just experienced magic. Magic, that shouldn't be real, yet there it was. Maybe he really was just dreaming right now. He didn't know when he could have run into someone like Marvin in real life, but that didn't matter. For the moment he just let himself believe without turning to logic and reason. Just to let himself have a little bit of wonder for once. "That was magic, you just used magic."

Marvin found it adorable how excited the other was over such a discovery. Some simply didn't believe them, no matter how many tricks they pulled. Others just ran away out of fear. Jackie was the first to react so positively, and with such joy as well. They were thanking their lucky stars that they met this man tonight. "And I can pull off a lot more than just portals, hun." They giggled softly and tugged at Jackie's hand that was still in theirs (the realization of it making Jackie blush), guiding him to the U shaped couch and sitting him down in the middle. "I'm going to go make myself some tea." They said as they walked out of the room, presumably to the kitchen. "You want any?" They called out.

"Oh, uh, no thanks. More of a coffee guy personally." Jackie responded. And now that he was alone in the room he had the chance to look around and observe all of the surface level things. The living room had a very dark magic vibe, having a dark blue, purple, and red color scheme to it. Against the wall in front of him was a television stand with the standard things: TV, internet box, blueray player, as well as several movies stacked in the side cubbies of the stand. A coffee table stood in the middle of the couch with a stack of moon shaped coasters off to the side. Silk drapes and glow-in-the-dark stars hung from the ceiling to give an even more magical vibe. There were two shelves on either side of the TV that were filled with books, photos, and various knick knacks. He wanted to get a closer look at the photos to see who or what was in them, but he didn't want to be too intrusive. He didn't know how much of their private life Marvin wanted to give out to a complete stranger.

After a few minutes Marvin returned with their tea, sitting down next to Jackie and setting their cup down atop one of the coasters. "So, what do you think?"

"Um- About what?"

"About my living room, silly." They laughed softly, which pulled a sheepish blush to Jackie's cheeks. "Obviously you were looking around at it. But you don't seem like the type to snoop in other people's drawers so I trust you."

"Well, it's... Definitely you. I- If that makes sense." Jackie shrugged a little as he took a quick glance over everything. "Like, when I look at you, this is definitely what I can expect from a living room. At the very least." He rubbed the back of his neck once his eyes returned back to the person across from himself. "Sorry, that probably makes no sense."

Marvin just chuckled and picked up his tea, taking a sip now that it was a little cooler. At least not so hot that it would burn their mouth off. "It's actually the best reaction I've gotten. Every other guy I've brought home has told me it's so dreary, that I need some color or whatever. I suppose it's a good thing that they were all one night stands."

"So what, picking up guys from bars is a common occurrence for you?" Jackie laughed softly. He already knew the answer for that if their interaction at the bar was any indication of how the magician acted around other men. "But I've never been one to judge people on their taste in... Whatever. I guess unless it's, like, genuinely harmful or something. But this just looks like a vampire threw up over everything." Marvin had to keep themself from laughing lest they choked on their tea. Thankfully they got it down and just turned into a coughing fit. Jackie immediately bolted up in his seat when he noticed, rubbing the other's back in a poor attempt to help a little. "Shit- Are you okay?? I- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to almost kill you."

"No, no-" Another couple of coughs interrupted Marvin's sentence. "Don't worry, you're fine." They chuckled a little before clearing their throat to try and get rid of the tickling feeling now sitting there. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Nearly choked on my tea from laughing."

Jackie let out a small breath of relief. Admittedly he was scared that maybe the magician would have been upset at him for making a joke while they had tea in their mouth. "Well, it would've been a hell of a way to go then." He let out his own little chuckle, earning a small laugh from Marvin.

"Truly would have been one of the stranger possibilities. But to answer your question, yes. But you're the first one to not push me against the wall and shove a tongue down my throat so... You at the very least have class." And now it was Jackie's turn to nearly choke, but this time it was on air and out of complete surprise. He needed to get used to Marvin's bluntness over everything, even intimate details like that.

"I- I mean, there's also the obvious bit of me being straight, so of course I wouldn't do that."

"Denial doesn't look pretty on you, hun." The magician hummed as they took another sip of their tea.

"I-" Jackie was about to protest. But the words got caught in his throat, and he really had to consider if it was worth it to just... Keep ignoring this feeling in his chest over the person next to him. He didn't know how long it would last... Maybe he could get some answers. "Is it really that obvious...?"

"With how much you bring up your lack of gay, yes." Marvin chuckled a little, earning a sigh from the other, who was running his hands through his hair.

"I just-... I've never felt this way about any other gender." He leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees, his foot tapping out of a need to do something. He always got like this when having important talks, and this was very clearly important. "But then you come along and... Not to get too personal, but suddenly I've got this want to pull you in and make out with you. And I don't even think it's cuz you present femininely, but I don't know what else it could be besides... Apparently I'm gayer than I thought!" He did little jazz hands as he exclaimed. "And obviously, there's nothing wrong with that. But when you think you're one way your entire life and suddenly something happens and you're now something else..."

"It can be really scary, yeah." Marvin interjected, looking down at the scars on their hands. "I get that, trust me. Maybe a little more than you." They then shifted themself so that they could be closer to Jackie's face. "But you've got the urge to make out with me? Well, why not go for it then?"

Yeah, Jackie really needed to get used to that bluntness.

"Wh- Because I've literally never met you before tonight??" He backed away a little when he realized just how close Marvin had gotten. His cheeks were now red and he was looking at literally anything but the magician in front of him. And there was that urge again. To grab this person by the face and see what their lips tasted like. And he really couldn't push it down now. "I'm not going to just kiss a stranger without permission."

The magician then gave a shrug and a playful smirk in response. "I give you permission then. Go on. You don't seem like the kind of guy to try and take advantage of me, not in this state anyways. That and I could easily overpower you with a quick spell. But let's see if maybe this feeling is a one off thing. And if it is, no need for a sexuality crisis."

Okay, Marvin was really opening the floor for this. They were fine with Jackie experimenting with them. He was... A little thankful for that, honestly. At least he was experimenting with someone he probably had a genuine interest in. And so, he gave a nod for confirmation, leaning back in to Marvin to rest a hand on their cheek.

"Just, um, let me know if I do anything wrong. First kiss with a guy and all that."

That got a laugh out of Marvin. "I don't think it's any different than kissing a woman. But I've never kissed a woman, so who knows. Just... Do whatever feels right." They couldn't help as they bit their lip a little from anticipation. Jackie wasn't the only one who'd been having strange new feelings towards a complete stranger. The magician had felt a pull towards the other this entire night, something they hadn't ever felt towards someone before. They wanted to do so much more with this man, and for once they weren't even thinking about sex. To even just lay in his arms seemed like it would be a blessing. Jackie only gave another nod, taking a few seconds to prepare himself before finally connecting their lips.

Cherry. Marvin's lips tasted like cherry. He hadn't noticed any lipstick, so maybe this was lip balm. It was a surprising taste, he would've never associated them with cherries. But he loved it all the same. He loved this kiss all the same.

It remained slow at first, with Marvin making sure they let Jackie control the speed the entire time. They didn't want to possibly go too fast and overwhelm the other, no matter how much they wanted to. Jackie's lips on theirs felt like a breath of fresh air. Like they could finally breathe after having waited all night. And when Jackie wrapped an arm around his waist to pull them closer they were quick to respond with an arm around his shoulders, their other hand reaching up to undo his hairbun and tangle their fingers into his hair. And that pulled a hum from Jackie that nearly sent shivers down their spine. Oh if that simple hum caused such a reaction who knows what the other sounds that Jackie had would do to them.

Unfortunately the kiss didn't last for much longer, as Jackie pulled away for air, leaving them both staring at each other as soft pants left their lips. "So... How was that...?" Marvin spoke softly once they caught their breath enough.

"Good... Really good..." The other spoke just as softly. He didn't want to break whatever atmosphere had been created.

It only took a second for Marvin to be pulled back in for another kiss, much to their pleasant surprise. But this one was much harder, needier than the last one. It nearly turned the magician's brain to putty from the rush of emotions they were getting. And Jackie felt all the same, plus so much more right now. He didn't know why he kept himself in denial for so long if this is how amazing the kiss would feel. It didn't even matter if this was only his first with a guy, it was enough for him to know he wanted it all from Marvin.

A soft noise of annoyance and displeasure came out of him when it was Marvin's turn to pull away. But it was only to place a hand on his shoulder and push him back against the couch, now straddling his hips as the kiss resumed. Evidently the magician was a touchy one. Jackie's arms and shoulders weren't left alone from Marvin's hands. Those hands found themselves moving down to the other's torso, and with a hitched breath and slight arch of his back they were given permission to slip their hands up his shirt to keep feeling around. Jackie was a sensitive one when it came to touch, the magician was learning. His back was almost painfully arched into their hands, and they were sure that if they weren't making out right now they'd be hearing loud moans and whimpers from the other.

And Jackie managed to get some revenge for it. All it took was a little nip at their lip and a slip of his tongue for Marvin to become weak in his arms. Not like Jackie wasn't practically the same way, he was glad that his brain hadn't been turned to mush from all that he was feeling. The way their hands trailed over every inch of his chest, all of the soft moans he was managing to pull from them, the knee now pressing itself and rubbing a little against his crotch.

He was quick to pull away at that new feeling, gently pushing Marvin's knee away a little bit. The magician hadn't even realized what they were doing, but they were filled with dread with how fast the other stopped them. Maybe they'd completely ruined this now. "Shit, I'm... I'm sorry, I didn't even realize... I was moving too fast..."

Jackie shook his head at that as his grip tightened around the magician's waist, taking a second to catch his breath. "No, you're good, I... I just got thrown off is all.." He chuckled a little, his eyes now meeting Marv's. And theirs looked quite happy that they hadn't ruined anything. "But if we're going that far I think a bed will be better than the couch, yeah~?" Oh stars, help Marvin. That voice was enough to drive him up the walls.

"Yes, please~"

[cowboyfairy]

passing for pre-t trans dudes from someone who’s actually pre-t

hey so this has been requested a lot. i’m a trans dude with an incredibly unsupportive family who have denied me access to gender therapists, a name change, any kind of medical transition and have threatened to disown me if i ever try to start hormones. i’ve been out for three years and i’ve learnt what works and what doesn’t in terms of passing. thought it might help some of you guys out.

Hair:

short. i know it’s sounds obvious but a lot of trans dudes go for that kinda justin beiber circa 2010-esque look and it’s really not gonna do wonders for you. ask for something basic, short back and sides is generally what to go for, and longer on top, but be careful they don’t give you that classic lesbian undercut. some trans guys are lucky and can pull off slightly longer hair, but it’s better to go short and just leave a bit of length on the top to style. get the edges of your hair squared off, or do it yourself if they didn’t do it for you. ask for a grade three/two. go to either a unisex salon or a barbers, but really don’t try your luck with a regular hairdressers, they’re either gonna give you the Ellen DeGeneres style or the can i speak to the manager style.

this was my most recent haircut. i have naturally blonde hair but darker colours often help you pass better, so i dye mine brown every time i get a haircut.

Face:

Unless you’re very talented with makeup, don’t listen to people telling you to contour to get a more masculine face shape. it doesn’t work and just makes you look feminine as you’ve got a load of makeup on your face. keep it natural. cis guys have thicker eyebrows naturally, castor oil and coconut oil can both be bought online or in health stores and can be put on your eyebrows to help them grow a bit thicker, but it doesn’t work equally as well for everyone. if you still want to try and use a little bit of makeup then eyebrows can benefit from a TINY (and i mean tiny) bit of eyeshadow to darken them up. if you want to, shave your peach fuzz, it doesn’t really do much to help you pass but it can be a dysphoria alleviater for some people.

Voice:

Those humming exercises you’ve seen don’t work. nothing is gonna physically change your voice permanently except testosterone. however , speaking confidently and loudly can help as those are seen as more typically male traits. try to use your chest voice (watch a youtube vid on head voice vs chest voice if you don’t know what i mean) and look people in the eyes when you talk to them. you can’t change your voice but you can change how you talk to people. confidence can make you seem far more typically masculine.

Binding and packing:

binding is obviously super important but if you can’t do it for personal reasons then please don’t feel bad. i have three binders from gc2b, two nude ones and a dark blue one. the nudes are good for wearing white shirts as they don’t draw attention to the fact you’re wearing one, but can look a bit odd if people do see them peaking out the top of your shirt, which is why the darker one comes in handy. people assume it’s just an undershirt/vest. Personally i don’t pack as i find it creates more dysphoria than it alleviates, but there are some good youtube vids about packing.

Clothing:

everyone’s style is different but i’ve found that a couple staple wardrobe items help to pass more. smart trousers with belts always look masculine, paired with a casual tee. i’m kinda into the e-boy aesthetic at the moment but all of my favourite outfits have belts to pull it together. shirts that are too baggy are gonna swamp you, so even though i know they help with the chest bump from binding, try to wear something more flattering. h&m do some really good shirts that aren’t too baggy but loose enough to cover the bump.

This outfit of mine is causal but super masc, without having to resort to a flannel shirt and shorts. i find wearing trousers and not jeans has really helped me. jeans, even from the men’s section tend to hug parts of my body i really don’t want them to, whereas trousers (pants i guess if you’re american?) fit me properly and make my legs look longer and straighter. wear shoes that make your feet look bigger if possible. i know clothing is hard for a lot of people because obviously it costs s lot of money but these nike air force 1s are definitely the most masculine pair of shoes i own despite being a unisex design. they’re rounded at the top, and give me an extra inch of height. there are shoes in similar styles to this that aren’t branded at just normal clothes stores that will be a lot cheaper.

General:

i count this section as just other little things i’ve found that help me pass. a lot of it is body language. stand up straight and look confident even if you aren’t. look up when you walk, i know it sounds silly but it’s surprising how often i catch myself staring at the floor when i’m walking. walk with bigger strides and when you’re standing, have your feet apart and keep your arms visible so you look more confident. i get misgendered far more when ive got my arms tightly crossed in front of me and i’m hunched over. confidence radiates masculinity even if that’s sounds toxic. when you sit, manspread. cis dudes do it for a reason. do little but stereotypically masculine things like let women go through doors before you. i know this all sounds like i’m violently trying to enforce masculine gender roles but y’all understand how it feels to just want to fit in with everyone else.

this is all i could think of for now and i’m sorry if it’s super lacklustre but i tried my best :)

[roseamongroses]

Antithesis (6): “...”

Summary: For their Junior project, Roman is unceremoniously paired with Dmitri.

He’s hardly interacted with the guy, a strange occurrence since Virgil has had a weird/unexplained hate-hate relationship with him since middle-school. But it isn’t like he’s complaining. Dmitri’s cute, he compliments Roman, and damn can he paint.So Roman may or may not catch feelings, and he may not be wiling to uncatch them anytime soon.–Dmitri returns the sentiment.

[General Warnings:] Misgendering, Past Misgendering, Past Bullying, Mild Sexual Content,  implied emotional abuse, Cursing [Tags/mood:] highschool au, project troupe, fluff and angst but its all good, chat fic, teen stress, its flordia no snow we die like men [Pairing:] Roceit (Roman Sanders/ Deceit Sanders), hinted future/possible logince/roloceit/loceit [Characters] Roman Sanders/Deceit (Dmitri) Sanders, Virgil Sanders, Logan Sanders, Patton Sanders, Remy (Sleep) Sanders, Nate Sanders, Dragon Witch (Diana)

(1)(2)(3) (4) (5) (6) (7)

WhyHaventIFuckinBlockedYou: Dm you up for this weekend

WhyHaventIFuckinBlockedYou: Bro diane’s gunna be mad if you don’t

WhyHaventIFuckinBlockedYou: wow you really playing with fire

WhyHaventIFuckinBlockedYou: You still mad about that?

WhyHaventIFuckinBlockedYou:Fuck dude it's literally not that big of a deal??cmon it's not fun unless youre there to piss off

WhyHaventIFuckinBlockedYou: and dont just say it's cause youre stufying/ doing work cause thats bs, your just fcking around with that dude

WhyHaventIFuckinBlockedYou: it's been a straight up semester cmon

WhyHaventIFuckinBlockedYou: dmitri?

---

Dmitri scanned the bustle of the afterschool crowd, the dismissal bell still ringing in his ears. With the grace one would expect from a gangly teen, he caught up to the flash of red as easy as one with expect. Only a couple people scowled.

“Roman,” He said breathless, slowing to match their pace, “You free for valentines?”

Roman shifted the bag on his shoulder, “It’s still January, Dee,” He said, bemused, but eyes tired.

“Uh, well,” He glanced away, “Are you free though?”

“Well perhaps if I ask my secretary to reschedule th-” He blinked hard, nearly stumbling into a kid lugging a trombone case, “Fuck, I forgot,”

Dmitri’s eyebrow’s drew together with a frown, “Forgot what?”

“I,” He winched, “I fuckin forgot, every year we take my Mom out to dinner for valentine’s day, “ he said, voice adopting a somber tone, “It’s her wedding anniversary and god-- I’m a dumbass how did I forget-- sorry.”

“Roman, you’re not a dumbass,” Dmitri said, “A dumbass sure, but not a dumbass,”

“That actually makes no sense, I applaud you,” Roman rolled his eyes, mouth still pinched. They stopped to sit on the short brick wall lining the sidewalks to the parking lot, so Roman can wait for his ride.

Roman took the chance to groan into his hands.

Glancing around to see no administrators around that would care about a little PDA, Dmitri draped his around around Roman’s shoulders, pulling him into his chest with little protest.

“Hey are you…?”

Roman voice was muffled, him refusing to look up.

“Roman you aren’t stupid,” Dmitri said, softer, “Roman,” he pushed back Roman’s hair, searching their face. Roman blinked fast, eyebags blending effortlessly into his makeup.

“I fuckin forgot Dee, how is that not stupid.” Roman said, sour, “First I mixed up the deadlines, and just had to slack off, and now I’m behind. To top it all off, I’m a shit son. ”

“You’re doing your best and your grades can afford a hit, ”

“I could do better though,” Roman stressed, looking increasingly desperate, “And I shouldn’t deal with hits, I never see Logan deal with-” He shut his mouth, eyes bright and wide, “Forget that, It’s nothing.”

Dmitri studied him, “You don’t think it's fair.”

“That’s, that’s--” Roman sputtered, “That’s not what I said Dee, it's fair, he’s earned it.”

“He has earned it,” Dmitri agreed, “That doesn’t mean you don’t want it too.”

Roman squinted at that, “Y’know, maybe you getting into philosophy wasn’t such a good idea,” He mumbled, “I expect kisses, not accurate call out posts.”

“So, I’m right?” Dmitri laughed, pinching Roman’s cheek, much to their distress, “You know, you both are in mostly the same classes, it wouldn’t be strange to ask him to help you out and vice versa?” he idly suggested, “Y’all both are ride and die, so it’d be mutually beneficial.”

Roman patted his face with a pout, “No,” he sniffed.

“Why not, you’re friends, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, but he’s closer with Virgil then he is with me, “ Roman shrugged, “Otherwise I think we’d eat each other alive before sophomore year,” he then added, a bit quieter, “So I doubt he’d want to put up with me anymore then he has to.”

“I don’t think that’d be the case,” Dmitri said, “Teaching’s a form of studying, so It’s not like he’d be wasting time.” Someone shouted Roman’s name, and he looked up, finding Remy gesturing to the car that he assumed Virgil was already in. Roman shouldered his bag, “Maybe...I’ll talk to him,” He said, kissing Dmitri’s cheek and hopping to his feet.

“Oh and try to get some fucking rest,” Dmitri called out, grabbing his own keys.

“Sure, sure, sure, ” Roman called back with a wave.

---

Theactualdragonthatistillhaventblocked: bitchhhhhhhh

Theactualdragonthatistillhaventblocked: wtf dmitri? Can you take that stick up your ass out for one second??it wasnt even about you??

Theactualdragonthatistillhaventblocked: everybody's so sensitive nowadays fuckin hell??dude you missed my birthday. It shouldn't be that deep we've been friends for years??

---

Dmitri carefully gathered his freshly snipped roses into the vase, a small smile on his face. Roman had painted the vase earlier that week, the swirling blues and yellows of A Starry Night effortlessly covering up the vase’s cracked and abused exterior. All that was needed was the flowers, which Dmitri graciously volunteered.

He stood, tucking a smaller flower in his front pocket before brushing the dirt from his jeans As soon as he opened the screen door, he froze.

“Dmitri, get in here, we have company!” His aunt called from the other room. Sighing he readjusted the vase in his arms, thoughtlessly following her voice to the living room with a tight lipped smile.

His smile became painted as he realized who the company was, “Diana,” he greeted, her blue eyes narrowing on him pleasantly from behind her tea-cup.

“You didn’t tell me that red-head was Diana?” His aunt faux whispered, her hair piled limply on top of her head, lips a cherry red, and nails done, and she looked genuinely pleased to see him despite being covered in dirt and probably making tracks on her carpet. She must’ve made up with her boyfriend.

Diana batted her eyes pleasantly, “Oh he didn’t tell you?” She said, and his blood ran cold, “ We have a date today, but I guess he was embarrassed,” she leaned in close to hisaunt, “Afterall I had to make the plans, he is rather shy.” His aunt frowned at that, “Poor boy doesn’t have a proper father -figure,” she shook her head, “He was a… crier… when he was younger.” she finished, distaste clear.

It took more effort then he should’ve have to not retort with ‘he doesn’t have a proper mother figure,’ either, but he likes his evenings scream free.

Diana took that time to finish her tea cup, “But don’t worry ma’am, we’ll have a good time,” She stood, slinking to his side, too close for comfort, her arms linking with his.

“Hopefully not too good of a time,” His aunt winked, as Diana none too gently dragged him out the door. As soon as the door slammed behind him, Dmitri yanked his arm from her hold, readjusting his grip on the vase.

“What the fuck, Dmitri?” She spat, face inches from his, “You missed, my birthday, my birthday.”

“What do you want?” he said.

“I want a fuckin’ explaination,” She scowled, looking him up and down, “We want our friend back, not acting pissy and giving us the silent treatment of all things.”

“We?” Dmitri raised his eyebrow, “Nate isn’t even here.”

“Don’t be a smartass, he’s at work, I think. It's Nate, so who knows,” She flipped her hair, “Plus his heart’s too weak for direct action.”

“You mean invading my house?” Dmitri said, irritation rising, “Or perhaps your direct action was quite literally bullying Emile out of our school? You know, Emile who gave you his shoes because you stepped in dog shit, the Emile who baked us cookies for our birthdays? Ring a bell?”

“Your little girlfriend could never take a joke,” She scowled, before insisting, “It was just a joke!”

“It was not a joke,” Dmitri hissed, “You guys tried to fuck over him over for whatever god-awful reason and just laughed at the results.”

“Sure, fine, we’re bullies,” She shrugged, face pinched, “But you were there too, so pull that stick out your ass. You laughed when we laughed, hell, you don’t even defend yourself.”

“I-”

“‘I’ what? Sure you came out , introduced your little ‘boyfriend,” she bared her teeth, “But you still let that woman walk all over you, still smiled to our faces, then went to bitch about it elsewhere like we didn’t exist. You always fuckin cared more about little Emile, right? Right?” Diana’s voice was strangled, blinking rapidly, “Don't even bother to tell me to fuck off, just don’t. I get the message,”

She turned around, stiff, “You’re a two-faced bitch, Dmitri. ”

Dmitri didn’t say anything to that.

He never does.

!!!taglist!!!

@daflangstlairde

@ace-anx

[ke238writing]

Alex Parkson is the main character of No Milk, Two Sugars. They are reckless, stubborn, and determined. Alex is the child of Linda and George, the sibling of Tom, and the best friend of Bess. Although they are introduces as being 21 years old, Alex is 22 for the majority of the play.

The concept of Alex and their story was first created by me during a writing exercise that took place in the first writing class of my university module. The exercise was to answer some rapid-fire questions about a character without thinking about it too much. We then had to write a monologue from the point of view of the character we had created. The monologue I wrote was said by Alex to a cat on the street as they looked for a ladder to attempt to break into Tom’s house. We were then given homework to write a duologue between the character we had created and a new character. I wrote the scene in which Alex and Tom reunite after 5 years with no contact. Whilst the monologue did not make the cut, the general emotions and underlying themes from the duologue are still present in the final version of that scene in the play.

When Alex is first seen in the opening scene, they are dressed unlike they would usually chose to present themself. They are described as follows:

“Alex Parkson, 21, they/them (AMAB)... Alex’s discomfort in front of the camera is noticeable in the way they frequently touch their hair and clothes. They wear a lilac knitted jumper and a black calf-length skirt that flows in the breeze. They also wear black Dr Martens with purple laces. They are adorned with silver jewellery. Their hair is short and messy.”

When dressed in a way that is more suited to them, Alex is described as follows:

“Alex is dressed casually in a faded green t-shirt and dark jeans, and the same Dr Martens as the photo shoot.”

“They wear the same lilac jumper and Dr Martens as in the photoshoot, and black jeans.”

Images are for reference only. Ethnicity, body shape, hair colour/texture of the character are not limited to those depicted. Physical descriptions of characters are limited to clothing and hairstyle to allow for open and diverse casting.

Growing up, I struggled to find representation of people I could relate to in most of the media I consumed. It has always been my aim with my work to have a diverse range of characters that anyone can easily find themselves in. Because of this, I decided that my main character Alex would be nonbinary. This is not a factor that really plays into the story I am telling, and has nothing to do with the overall plot; it is simply just another part of the character. Knowing how important positive representation of underrepresented groups is, I made sure to thoroughly research the topic of gender and being nonbinary, as well as how to accurately write a nonbinary character. I found that there were a few topics that it was widely agreed on to not be appropriate to cover as a cisgender writer, mainly the things that nonbinary people experience that I as a cisgender female could never understand (such as being outed, dysphoria, deadnaming, being misgendered), but as my story does not rely on Alex’s identity this was not something I ever had to bring up. 

Whilst Alex is openly nonbinary when around friends, their parents are unaware of their identity. This is not something that is ever discussed in much detail, as it it not my place to discuss it, and I always made sure to have Linda and George use gender neutral nicknames and avoid gendered pronouns despite them not knowing, as well as having other characters avoid gendered pronouns when talking to Linda and George about Alex, as this would mean Alex would be misgendered and, as previously mentioned, that is not something that is appropriate for me to write. 

However, I did note in Alex’s introduction that they are assigned male at birth. I did this for two reasons. The first being that in my research I found that whilst nonbinary representation is already slim in mainstream media, the ‘societal ideal’ and generally accepted image of nonbinary presentation tends to be from either feminine presenting nonbinary people or people who were assigned female at birth, and there is a huge lack of representation for masculine presenting nonbinary people or people who were assigned male at birth. The second reason for this was because within the play Alex still experiences the gendered expectations from their parents that a cisgender male would have to face in our society.

“We were happy! We were fine! I just wanted that again! I needed that again!”

This line is said by Alex at their breaking point in scene 11. After 5 years of hunting for information, they finally discover the truth that was being held from them by their own parents; Tom’s whereabouts and why he left. Whilst Alex expresses their need to find Tom many times throughout the play, this is the first time they ever explicitly say what exactly is driving them forward on their search. When Tom left, the world fell apart for Alex. Their determination to find their brother drove them forward for years but they are beginning to lose hope. When Alex finds a box with Tom’s name on in the attic, with an address on an old scrap of paper inside, it sparks something inside them and they begin frantically researching, desperate to follow the trail and see where it leads. 

When Alex and Tom finally reunite, Alex is overwhelmed with the urge to leave straight away. It dawns on them that they were trying to find Tom for so long that they never once considered what wold actually happen once they found him. Alex’s recklessness causes them to make questionable decisions more than once in the play, and they even find themself in the house of a stranger and being threatened with a broom. Alex is also incredibly stubborn. In scene 12, when Tom finds Alex after the family argument in scene 11, he says “Don’t think you can out-stubborn me just because you’re all grown up now.” They refuse to talk about anything they don’t want to and are always determined to get their own way (unless talking to George, when they know it is better to just be quiet and avoid conflict).

Alex’s story is one of discovery, both of information and of the self. In a letter to Alex, Tom writes, “You’re a good kid. A great one. Don’t let anyone tell you different. You’ve always been headstrong and independent and determined and I admire you for it. You’re hardworking, even if it’s not obvious to some people. Stay focused, do what’s right. I’ll see you soon. We’ll be ok, I promise.” These are words that Alex has needed to hear for too long, but is not ready to finally hear them. The play ends in a way that leaves things somewhat open, as Alex is forced to make the decision of what happens next.

Whilst I cannot personally relate to Alex, I found it somewhat cathartic to write going on such a personal journey of growth and discovery.  

[lambda7214]

I have many thoughts about characters in sword and shield being gay/bi and/or trans and I would like to share... but I am not tagging this post because I am embarassed to share my thoughts... anyways. you will find almost nobody is straight. also for most of the people that I label cis, I enjoy the trans headcanons of (the exception is Rose. Rose is cishet because I don't like him). I'm unsure how to format this I'm sorry if it looks ugly:

Gloria/Victor: they're the player characters it doesn't matter really but I like to imagine Victor as amab nb and bi + Gloria as a cis lesbian.

Hop: trans and mlm but I'm leaning towards gay. him being trans also enhances how much he wants to be like Leon by adding that gender aspect so that pleases me.

Bede: trans for sure like his entire character is so fucking trans you cannot convince me he isn't. Anyways. he's also gnc but I wouldn't say he's nb. also gay. idk I can't see him liking girls.

Marnie: lesbian. I could see her being nb and going by she/they.

Sonia: trans lesbian!!!!!!!!!! I like thinking about her entering the gym challenge as Sonia and Leon just being so supportive like he's her #1 supporter for everything but especially her gender transition.

Leon: I see him as a cis guy. it adds onto my trans hop thoughts of Leon being his masculine cis brother he admires and wants to be just like. I see Leon as bi, and he had a crush on Sonia for a while when they were kids but it never went anywhere because he respects her boundaries like a decent human being :) raihan was his bi awakening.

Prof Magnolia: she seems like the type to not care about labels for gender or sexuality and just do whatever.

Milo: trans and bi. I originally projected onto him when his character was first revealed and decided this. he seems like the type to not bind and has just been really active so his chest just looks like big pecs.

Nessa: cis lesbian. she's dating Sonia. "close friends" game freak just say they're girlfriends. also Nessa totally taught Sonia how to do girl things that you learn growing up like how to hold your keys to stab predators :) ok that's dark and not exactly what I meant but Nessa lets Sonia ask her any "stupid" questions about being a girl and Nessa doesn't mind at all and is glad to help.

Kabu: cis gay. he has a husband. they moved from Johto together so they could get married (since Johto is in Japan and I'm pretty sure gay marriage still isn't a thing there).

Allister: trans nb. I think that's the way to say it right like you present more masculine while nb when ur afab. that's what I mean. he probably uses he/they pronouns and is always too embarassed to correct people if they use the wrong pronoun. I see him as bi and scared of being attracted to guys because he doesn't want to be objectified or infantilized by them :(

Bea: cis lesbian. big sister figure to Allister (as I like the idea of them growing up together and being best friends), and if you misgender him she will kick ur shit in.

Opal: she is absolutely a trans woman ok... the entire fairy gym is transgender propaganda and I love it. I can't decide between her being lesbian or bisexual, but I feel like she had a past significant other that left her after being together for a While, and now she's just written off as the crazy cat lady type lol.

Gordie: I'm unsure if I see him as trans or cis as I didn't really realize he existed until recently (I played shield ok...), but I'm leaning towards trans as I saw some really really cute fanart of it where he's like "mom I'm trans" and shes like "that's cool son" and then he says "mom I'm bi" and she says "me too" and then he says "mom I want to be a rock type gym leader" and that's when she gets upset😭. I also see him as bi. also I think him and Milo would be cute especially because their ship name is big boy shipping I think.... that's adorable.

Melony: cis bi. she probably had a husband who she had kid(s? I think it was mentioned she has more than just Gordie somewhere but I have no idea) with and then they separated and she found out that she's bi and has had a few girlfriends.

Piers: nb gay. also can someone tell me what the fuck his hair is like how did he make it look spiky????

Raihan: cis gay. no fucking straight guy has the ""rivalry"" Leon and Raihan do. honestly most rivalries are gay unless it's between a guy and a girl. two guys having a rivalry? they're covering up their feelings for each other through aggression. two girls having a rivalry? they're using competition to try and impress the other girl. a guy and a girl? they actually are fighting each other very platonically.

Rose: cishet. as a trans mlm I don't fucking claim him. god bless

Oleana: see I can't get a solid grasp on her personality but she seems wlw. also I like the idea of her and Bede growing up in a similar facility/orphanage (I feel like Rose "took her in" like he did with Bede) and Oleana helping Bede realize he's trans because she is also trans. they also fought people together as misunderstood trouble children.

Sword and Shield hair people: choke