#and i was never ever ever Correctly Woman either like i always had too much facial and chest and leg and arm and beard and mustache hair

[cascadianights]

Absolutely baffling that when I talk about my partner (who is clocked as a cis male by the general public 90% of the time) the second some people realize he's trans they start using they/them?? Despite clear usage of he/him and their grasp of it before?

Then they struggle ENDLESSLY with using they/them for me bc even though I cut off 3/4 of the hair on my head and have more chest & body hair than the cis men I've dated, my hips and chest still clock me as female no matter what

[lemonsnapples]

On how porn is written in SVSSS - I feel like I need to share my experience reading Japanese porn fanfiction around the 2010s (yes I'm an old fan girl). I was into both hetero and homoerotic ships back then, so what I'm about to say applies to both MM and MF ships.

I don't know if what I saw in Japanese fanfiction is popular in Chinese literature. I don't know if what I read back then still applies today. But I feel like I need to share my experience, since some people are freaking about about the Bingqiu porn in SVSSS.

The Japanese porno fanfiction that really revealed to me what the popular dynamic was, ironically, a fic trope where the bottom, man or woman, had to show that they enjoyed the sex.

When I first read such a fic - where the top was like "well if you tell me to stop I'll stop *smirk*" and the bottom was all flustered, frustrated that they had to act like a damn whore going "oh yeah! More!!" to get some sweet action - I was shocked. I grew up in Japan in the 90s as an elementary school kid, but then I moved to the US and only had exposure to English porno ever since. In English, if the couple is doing it correctly, then there's no pain, only pleasure, and the bottom, whether man or woman, encourages the top to keep going.

That dynamic was not popular in the Japanese fanfiction that I read way back when. They were mostly written by women, too. Obviously not all women felt that way, but it seemed that a good chunk of Japanese women never wanted to be like "oh yeah! So good! Give me more!" in bed, because they think it's too slutty for them - in fact, the bottoms who go "oh yeah! So good! Give me more!" are called bitch bottoms (ビッチ受け). Some people find it kinky and hot, other people are turned off by it.

In fact, in a good chunk of the Japanese fanfiction I've read, the bottom almost always said "no" or "stop" without expecting the partner to actually stop. That was a huge cultural shock for me, since my sex ed was more or less "No means no!" But that's not the norm across the whole world.

Repeat after me: "No means no!" is not the norm everywhere.

In some fics I read, the sex could be amazing and not hurt at all while the bottom goes "dame!" and "yamete!" through it all but admit every once in a while that it felt good ("kimochii"), but in other fics the sex could be unpleasant and even hurtful. But the bottom and the readers don't characterize the sex as rape, because the bottom is doing it with the person that they love, and they want the partner to feel good.

So I had that context before I read SVSSS. That's why the wedding extra Bingqiu sex didn't bother me that much - not my cup of tea in terms of erotica, but it was the kind of sex I've read in Japanese fanfiction before. SVSSS is Chinese erotica written by a Chinese woman, so I figured that the norm regarding sex was maybe similar.

So to people who are saying that the Bingqiu wedding extra sex should be characterized as rape - all I can say is, I can understand if it's not your cup of tea, but not all women across the globe would characterize that kind of sex as rape. I didn't know how different cultures enjoyed porn without venturing outside of English porn, either, so I understand the ignorance - but it's inappropriate to characterize the wedding extra Bingqiu sex as rape.

[lilacgaby]

Firstly I wanna say I love your writing and although I’m very new to your page I’m OBSESSED 🤩

This is my first request ever so I hope I’m doing this correctly. ANYWAYS- I was hoping for like an ice hockey au where it’s like bakugou playing midoroya’s team and bakugou doesn’t like the way deku is looking at reader in the stands even though bakugou and readers relationship isn’t public and they fight and all that good stuff.

Thanks I totally appreciate you! Hope you’re well and have a great day!!

title: iced out.

pairing: hockeyplayer!bakugo x girlfriend!reader

"he'll need an ice pack when i'm done with him."

note: my love you're so smart omgg, i loved this au! ty for the support i hope this is a good read <3

it was the match up of the season.

everyone knew of the rivalry between bakugo and midoriya, every match they'd have would end in shoves, bloodied noses, bruises, and cards called. the audience was thankful for the dividers that kept them safe from the confrontations that would always break out in corners, bakugo usually pushing midoriya away forcefully into them just to get control of the puck.

you were there at that match for katsuki after the matches, waiting outside the locker rooms to drive home. you knew first hand just how much he wanted to win against midoriya. he'd confessed to you how they used to be close friends, but after midoriya 'lied' about getting excepted into an overseas junior team, he had been ostracized from katsuki's life.

they hadn't faced each other since last season, the bracket hadn't allowed for it. until today.

you, katsuki's girlfriend since before he got drafted into a team, were pepping him up before the first interval. his teammates already knew about you, but the public didn't.

katsuki preferred in this way, he thought. saying "those damn publicists would shove cameras and mics down our throats if they knew." you didn't mind either way, the bile of jealousy at every woman who thought they had a chance with katsuki going away after multiple times of him cursing them out.

katsuki had never had to experience that though, not until today.

you were in the stands, the front row of one of the many sections in the rink. it was a full house today, but you stood out because of your limited edition jersey given to you by katsuki himself.

while the practice period was going on, he was calming himself down. his coach had told him that a clear head is all he needed to beat midoriya into a pulp, or something like that. 'easy shit.' he thought.

but like a shark who smelled blood, his pupils dilated severely as he saw him throwing a puck to you. you caught it, raising your hand to thank him and you let an appreciative smile, flipping it over to see his number on the back of it (how did he even write that?). at your shocked expression, he laughed.

and he had the audacity to make a phone sign with his hand after?

oh, he was gonna need to call someone once bakugo was done with him, he was sure of it.

the promise of calm was gone as fast as it came, an impossibly angrier katsuki coming back as he finished warm ups.

at the sound of the timer, katsuki played aggressive. the first 20 minutes was full of this mentally. he was rushing in and hitting, shoving anyone in his way. he 'accidentally' launched the puck into midoriya's helmet at the fifteen minute mark.

the teams managed to stay even though, but katsuki was scoring a majority of the points for his team. the only thing in his way was midoriya, like always.

midoriya, who kept his eyes locked on you while the puck wasn't in play. who kept waving to his fans, but sending winks to you.

katsuki had decided to murder him. or rather, his team.

he hit another puck in easily, already having the game be the highest scoring one in the league for the year. midoriya managed to match one up again, barely keeping on his heels.

the score was now 5-5, katsuki wanted to finish it in this interval. going into a sudden death overtime would just be too tiring.

they were tied again with only 2 minutes left on the clock. all it took was midoriya to eye you again, that was enough to spite bakugo.

with a minute left he finally got control of the puck, as midoriya got in his way. katsuki predicted a fake out, and sent the puck flying with a curve.

as the keeper missed, and with 3 seconds left.

he scored.

the arena cheered, the cameras caught on midoriya's smirk and small claps, the pissed off looks from midoriya's teammates, and the celebration of katsuki's team.

they had to play again to let the puck slide for 3 seconds, out of courtesy, but katsuki took a victory lap, looking straight at you.

the second he was free he walked straight through the rink, much to his manager's dismay. this caught the attention of the media, who had all eyes on him. he saw none of it, passing by fans without a care in the world as he grabbed your face and kissed you, making you drop the puck.

midoriya was seen with an 'ohhh' expression on his face as the rink went crazy, flashes all in your faces as katsuki pulled back, hips lips now smeared with your lip gloss. you two were on the jumbotron, and you awkwardly waved as the attention was focused on you two suddenly.

"didn't i tell you so? these losers are breathing down our throats."

"yeah, oh my god kats' your eye!" you gasped as you saw the bruise starting to form over his eye.

he wore a stupid smirk on his face as you fussed over him. his eyes squinted as he saw the rival team give themselves 'good luck next times' and 'we'll get em back's. midoriya in particular was being the captain as always, cheering up his team though occasionally looking back at you. katsuki sneered, he won the game and the girl! take that deku.

"why do you have that dumbass look on your face?"

"hah?! my face isn't dumb woman!"

[hennyjwrites]

The Game: Chapter 1

Summary: Finding out her relationship was a joke to everyone but her, Y/N realizes one thing. Since everyone wants to play, she’ll have to win the game. One thing about it, this game is dangerous and that’s how she likes it.

————————————————————————

Being married to a known member of the Mayans left no question of the dangers that lurk around every corner. That’s part of the reason why you don’t hang around the club anymore, there is too much violence and too many single men for a beautiful woman. Your husband, Manny warned you about all that lurked around the border and why he didn’t want you coming around as much. You typically listened, that being the one thing you both agreed on, but tonight was different.

“C'mon bitch, everyone’s going to be there.” Your best friend of 10 years, Lola begged. She wanted you to attend a party at the club tonight but you had already told Manny you were staying in tonight. Not only was the club going to be filled with drunk Mayans but also drunk members of the Sons of Anarchy. “Security’s heavy tonight we’ll be fine.”

You sighed from your bed as she and your other friend of a short year, Mica, went through your closet. “It sounds like fun Lo, but I already told Manny I was staying home tonight.”

“Bitch fuck Manny!” She yelled from the deeper part of your closet. She never really liked him but then again she doesn’t like Mica that much either. Lola always claimed there was something off about her but she tolerated her.

Mica walked out the closet first holding up a cute but plain dress that you never wore anymore. “This looks cute mami, you wanna go plain or extravagant tonight?”

Lola walked out after her with a tighter, sexier purple dress that showed off everything you had. “Bitch don’t try and make her look like someone’s abuela.” She mugged mica who flipped her off and walked back to the closet. “Here throw this on so we can go.”

She sensed your slight hesitation before sighing. “Girl, if Manny is already there you think he won’t protect you if something pops off? You need to have a little fun. I miss my best friend.” she pouted. She missed having fun with you, going out getting so drunk that neither of you could do anything but dance in a drunk ass circle.

You smiled at her before standing up. “Let me go fix my hair and we can go.”

-

Walking in the club, the music was blasting as drunk members of both of the clubs were having as much fun as they possibly could surrounded by hyenas and other known women from around the city. Security was posted at each entrance letting everyone drop the weights off their shoulders.

“Let’s go take some shots!” Lola cheered walking with you to the bar. Mica had already disappeared into the crowd when you first showed up.

Sitting at the bar you took shot after shot with Lola, slowly becoming more tipsier quicker than you ever had before. That’s the effect of not getting drunk in years. Somehow you and Lola ended up grinding on each other in the middle of the club, draw

Angel walked up to you, grabbing your attention. “Hey cariño, you finally made it out.” He cheered, clearly more drunk than usual. He pulled you into a hug, whispering in your ear, “guess you finally decided to join in on Manny's fun?” He chuckled, pulling away with a wink. You looked at him confused but didn't have a chance to respond as he turned his attention to Lola.

Manny's fun? What the fuck was that supposed to mean? Speaking of, where the fuck was manny. You didn’t have a chance to wonder as another prospect offered you a drink which you gladly accepted and downed it easily feeling the slight burn slide down your throat.

You spent the night drinking with Lola until she ducked off somewhere with Angel. You tried to find mica or manny but you were too drunk to even stumble around correctly.

You drunkenly danced with a random club member and hyena before you were pulled away. You instantly whined. “Woah calm down.” The familiar voice was none other that Coco Cruz. “Manny let you take a pick this time huh?”

Why do people keep saying that to you? “W-what?” You drunkenly hiccuped, confused. Take a pick? What the fuck does that even mean? Coco laughed at your drunken behavior. “C'mon let’s go lay down and wait for tu marido.”

Coco guided you to an empty room, laying you down in the bed. He did mean to find Manny, but he got distracted by a woman walking past him with an obvious look in his eye. He told a prospect to watch the door you were in as he went after her. You on the other hand held no objective as you passed out in the random bed.

-

You rose from the bed, wishing you were dead as the horrible headache took over. You groaned, knowing you got sloppy drunk last night and forgot about the two women who you even showed up with. Walking out of the room you were met with bright lights, passed out bikers and others who were still drinking.

“You look horrible.” Ez laughed loudly before receiving several groans and others telling him to shut the hell up. Of course Ez was on drunky patrol. “I feel worse than I look.” You sat at the bar and placed your head down.

Ez slid a cup of water to your side. You took a sip before looking over to see Angel and Lola in the same predicament as you. They were clearly fucked out and drunk but they still were cuddled up together. They made you think of you and manny. Turning your attention to Ez you asked, “where’s manny?”

His face held a genuine look of confusion. “They weren’t in the bed with you?”

“Who the fuck are you talking about Ezekiel, now’s not the time for jokes.” You whined, annoyed, dizzy and ready to go home. The sound of a door opening and the face Ez made, had you turning around.

There, your husband held the hand of another woman, leading her out the door. “Manny?” You questioned catching his eye. His eyes widened as he stared at you with his mouth dropped. He dropped the woman’s hand who looked at him confused before she turned in the same direction. “Mica?” You spat.

They both stared at you as you stood up. Lola stood up as well ready to back you up.

“Oh.” You laughed angrily. “Y’all got me fucked up.”

[ispeacetoomuchtoaskfor]

On the Subject of Susan

I'm going to be a little blunt and my words may seem antagonistic here. But no hate, please. I'm just trying to analyze and provide my analysis based on the very simple facts. Now.

I've never quite understood the anger at C. S. Lewis for how he ended Susan's tale. Mainly, I suppose, because I had the whole story.

Everyone gets angry that Susan is "banned from Narnia" because she likes lipstick and nylon stockings and being a teenage girl in the 1940s, but no one seems to understand that that's not quite how it went, much less that Susan still has a chance.

Let me work backwards a moment and explain the latter. You see, to quote Lewis himself, in a letter to a girl called Marcela in 1955,

"...Haven’t you noticed in the two you have read that she is rather fond of being too grownup? I am sorry to say that side of her got stronger and she forgot about Narnia... ...She is left alive in this world at the end, having been turned into a rather silly, conceited young woman. But there is plenty of time for her to mend, and perhaps she will get to Aslan’s country in the end—in her own way. I think that whatever she had seen in Narnia she could (if she was the sort that wanted to) persuade herself, as she grew up, that it was ‘all nonsense’”

Now, there's a lot to unpack here, but first and foremost, my point is quite simple. "Perhaps she will get to Aslan's country in the end-in her own way." It was always meant to be open ended, for Susan. Narnia is not forever closed to her, unless you and she choose so.

"But Peace!" I can hear you saying, "There's that whole 'too fond of being grownup' phrase!" Why yes, yes there is, how clever of you to notice. The whole point of the latter portion of Susan's arc is that she chose that- lipstick and nylons and "being grownup"- over Narnia. She grew and she chose to forget Narnia.

After all, what sort of modern teenage girl (in England, during WW2) would be so interested in medieval times and what they probably explained to their friends to be a good old game of pretend? No, no, she can't remember Narnia right now - she's going to the cinema with a few girl friends, she's going to a party, she's focusing on everything but there and inevitably, after pushing it away for so long, Narnia let her be.

You see, C. S. Lewis was a very Arminian (and yes, I spelled it correctly) Christian theologian. And while I'm sure most of you here on this hellsite would like to ignore that, it is relevant to how Lewis wrote his fiction. After all, it's at the core of his basic beliefs, despite his being a staunch atheist in college and into his adulthood, and despite what you may like to think, it crept into his writing even when he did not intend it. For example, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe is called an allegory for the story of the Resurrection, despite Lewis' arguments to the contrary. He insisted that it be seen as what it is, very heavy symbolism. Very heavily used Christian symbolism, that is all over the Chronicles whether you like it or not.

Let me explain why this is relevant to Susan, what Arminianism even is, and how that term applies here. Susan is, so to speak, a symbol of an atheist left behind, after all of the Christians she called family died. In a situation where you regard Christianity as true, she is left on Earth while they have gone on to heaven. And this doesn't mean that the gates of heaven are closed to her, quite to the contrary! They would be closed on the day she died insisting that Jesus Christ was not Lord, plain and simple. She has a choice to make, so long as she is alive.

Now, to Calvinist theologians and Christians, Susan never had a choice. Either Aslan, the God symbol here, chose to bring her in, or he didn't. Calvinists believe in a thing called predestination, the concept that every believer that would ever be brought to heaven is chosen specifically by God. Arminianism declares the opposite. It's a whole thing in Christian theological circles, but that's irrelevant to this discussion. In any case, the core of Arminianism is that you and I have a choice in whether or not we believe in God, and in whether or not we go to heaven.

To an Arminian theologian, God, or Aslan in this symbolic case, can influence our choice, Susan's choice, up to a point. Once we reach that point, once Susan forgets, God, or Aslan, steps back. He accepts our choice, allows Susan to forget. It's up to us, up to Susan after that.

Lewis was an Arminian theologian. He made the point, repeatedly, in his theological works, about people having a choice.

He repeats that point with Susan.

One last thing, before you go. You see, there was another letter about Susan, after The Last Battle was released. He'd been asked if he ever intended to finish Susan's story.

This was his answer.

“I could not write that story myself. Not that I have no hope of Susan’s ever getting to Aslan’s country; but because I have a feeling that the story of her journey would be longer and more like a grown-up novel than I wanted to write. But I may be mistaken. Why not try it yourself?”

Well, my people? Now that you've heard what I had to say (and say through quite the essay, my apologies), why not? Go, do what you do and tell her story for yourself. The author has encouraged fanfiction, so go on! And don't worry about Christianity and symbolism too much. It may help you understand how and why Lewis wrote what he did, but unless you're determined to have your tale in his style and overlapping seamlessly with canon, it's unnecessary. Unless you choose to make it a part of your life, you don't have to be concerned about it.

Feel free to ask questions, and I'll answer to the best of my ability, with Google by my side!

Also, I nearly forgot. There are absolutely other problems with Susan being the last of her family, left alone in the aftermath of WW2. This is not the place to talk about those, however, merely to help you understand why she "is no longer a friend of Narnia" and to remind you that there's always hope.

Oh, and besides that, don't forget that I'm talking about the books and not the movies thank you very much, while The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe was absolutely perfect to canon the other two were not and I'm not going to consider them in this post. I do appreciate them, but when dealing with book canon they're both nos.

[foliejpg]

Ok I know people get kind of up in arms about clothes for FOB genderbends but thinking about how they would all dress is one of my favorite parts of it? Like I think pete and patrick especially would have very interesting relationships with femininity, especially coming up in a misogynistic scene like 90s/00s hardcore. Bc when I look at pictures from early FOB shows, the girls you see there are dressed pretty much the same as the guys, like girls were THERE but I very much get the feeling that the safest way to exist in that scene as a girl was to be as guy-ish as you could, but taking it TOO far would get you shit for [being gay or trans or generally gnc, I dont want to use period-accurate language right now], and it REALLY gets interesting if you're overweight, not white, not straight, not cis, anything that sets you as a woman apart from the dominant cultural image of "a woman" in the USA. Patrick personally is may favorite to think about because Ive been the fat girl in nerdy guy spaces and Im also a fat woman in a pretty dude-heavy professional field, so I can project my experience onto girltrick all damn day? (1/?, Continued in another ask bc Im going to hit char limit soon I think)

this got long as hell and i also never got a part 2 so i hope this is relevant<3

i definitely get that, for patrick especially to have to really conform to being “one of the guys” and acting like such so she doesn’t get called things like difficult or bitchy, and that definitely makes an impact on how she dresses. especially as a fat girl and i’m also a fat woman, so a lot of what i wanted to wear was either too tight and rolled up my stomach or my pants didn’t fit, OR was so lowcut because my cup size was too big and nothing fit correctly, so it was wear the big boxy tee shirt or have my tatas on display for people to look at. patrick, as a fat woman who is maybe not the most conventionally attractive, would really have to straddle a line of fitting in with all of these gross boys for the sake of the band and not being disregarded as a sexless fat chick. of course then it goes into slut shame-y territory if she ever god forbid wore something cute that made her feel good. maybe girltrick doesn’t wear a lot of dresses or skirts early on, but maybe during soul punk she explored a little more and maybe that carries over post hiatus. girltrick would rock a maxi skirt. comfy as fuck

i think about pete too as a woman in the scene at the time having to kind of play into what guys around her expect of her as a more sexual being bc like you said the misogyny was rampant and the easiest way, like you said is to go along with it. pete irl got boiled down to this sex symbol so early in fob’s career and had his body plastered all over magazines for people to drool over. to a point, we know that pete also played the “bad boy” schtick up because it was new and sexy and aimed at teen girls, so then girlpete did that too. irl pete dressed sexy and wore eyeliner so fall out boy would catch eyes, and it worked. so does girlpete, to the same extent. of course because she’s a woman she’ll always be sexualized worse than irl pete ever could experience.

look at pete now, he’s all comfort wear. those fucking meat shoes that haunt my dreams. girlpete is shy too. she’s also very business savvy and, like irl pete, knows she’s hot. she wears sweatpants and sneakers when she’s out and about, and baby tees and low rise jeans on stage, and maybe her bra is visible and rocks a whale tail sometimes as was popular early on. she was probably harassed endlessly but she’s not ashamed of herself or her body and dresses to fit her needs - like pete did irl.

and maybe this is controversial but i don’t think girlpete would have leaned into a more butch or androgynous style because realistically, pete didn’t. the eyeliner was an act of rebellion which is totally cool and 100% but let’s not pretend he was really challenging any gender norms here. girlpete as a business woman knows how to market herself to the people that will matter, the people who buy fall out boy’s music.

i think people forget that like, at the end of the day they are still pete wentz and patrick stump. the intentions, timeline, lore, personality - it’s for the most part all the same, but i think when people don’t acknowledge that their experiences in the scene would be drastically different from irl pete and patrick, it’s disregarding the misogyny in the scene entirely.

and also i want to put them in a skirt and it’s fanfiction so i can do what i want<3 if anyone has anything to add, pls send me a msg i love talking about my girls<3

[cherrysweather]

hello !! Id like hcs of what being the younger brother of phoenix and miles (separately ofc) would be like :DD thanks !

Hellu sorry for the wait, I'm finally alive again, I hope this time for a longer period. Thank you so much for waiting if you'll ever read this piece, luv u<3

Remember to drink water daily and eat correctly >:(

------------------------------------------------------

What's like being Miles Edgeworth's and Phoenix Wright's younger brother:

Miles Edgeworth:

Being the younger brother of Edgeworth isn't something bad, neither exciting;

He surely knows what he's doing, between you and Franziska;

When you were little, he preferred to spend time alone, with his books and his dog;

Same as you, Franziska was your age, so you preferred to play with her and sometimes go together in Miles' room to bother him;

As you two grew up, it didn't change much really;

Franziska was a more serious woman and Edgeworth too, but now it was easier to spend time with your brother, speak to him freely and ask advice when needed;

Childhood experiences weren't really a thing, but now wherever Edgeworth went for work or pleasure, he gladly brought his brother with him -if possible- or simply a keepsake for him (and Franziska);

He invited you over often, so you two could spend some time together even if he had to work;

Miles also likes to help you with school or whatever project you have going on, an opportunity to learn new things;

One day, he introduced you to Kay, and since then it's like when you were younger;

Kay always convinced you to get Miles in some problems, or in creating ones during his investigations or in the daily;

Those few times in which you, Miles and Franziska can be together again, are always good ones;

Those two never speak about their work, unless you ask them about it, and the three of you can have some time to talk about life, anecdotes or just spend some time in each other's company.

Phoenix Wright:

Phoenix always liked the idea of having someone younger to take care of;

So since you were born, he loved to play with you, teach you things and help you when you needed it;

Growing up, you were always the first one to know whatever happened in school and with his friends;

He also helped you with school, doing the homework you couldn't do, but not for free;

Either money or something you would ask your parents on his behalf;

When he left home, everything became much more boring and monotone, but sometime after he started his career, Maya was introduced to you;

Whenever they had a case together she would call you to help in the office and then spend time together once they finished investigating;

Then Maya had to go away, and yes, soon came Trucy, but also Phoenix's worst years;

You stayed by his side, mostly helping him with Trucy;

When he finally came back, with Apollo, and sometimes later Athena too, it was like having a big family;

Phoenix would always divide his time with you and his second family, but more than sometimes you were incorporated by the group.

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

Thank you for talking about mijoo cause I just went down a rabbit hole and it snapped me out of being delulu lol. I can't believe army and shippers really convinced us she was married, and now I'm finding out that was a lie and there was more to the story. Also while going through message boards I found out that allegedly, during the 97 liner scandal, they were at a club trying to hook up with girls in their vip room. Now I just feel silly for ever thinking jungkook could be queer 😅 like this man clearly has a type cause mijoo, nain, and chaewon all give off a similar vibe.

Do you believe the rumor about jimin and daeun? Like I was a bit skeptical, but I find it weird that she tries so hard to connect herself to him. It's giving obsessive ex

I've always thought he could be bi, but to believe that he's like GAY 100% gay is a bit too crazy. And I wonder if part of how hard some people push the gay label on him doesn't have to do with all the rumours.

Yes, the very first thing that came out about Jungkook that night of the club in 2020 was a french girl who said Jungkook had bought drinks for her and her friends at the club. If I recall correctly, she posted about it that same night.

I don't believe about Daeun, no. And there's nothing to really talk about because what I'm supposed to do... analyze a freaking carpet? Then there's the fact that ya'll talk about that woman but it's not even present time stuff, it's all allegedly about the past. I don't really know how to make myself understood, but I'll try.

I was talking about taekook once and said how I don't like going back in time to try and figure out something that happened years ago, and that's the same thing. I just can't be bothered to go back three years (in Jimin's life, we're not even talking about my own life) to try and find clues about it. As 2020, 2021, 2022 was going on, there was nothing I saw that would've led me to believe Jimin was in a relationship with her. In fact, 2020 he literally was spending every single day with Jungkook, it's still unclear if Jimin was spending more time in 911 or in the dorms, but they even slept in the same room with him.

After 2020, there was nothing, absolutely nothing in the following years where I thought Jimin could've been living with someone else. If I didn't see it back then I'm certain that I didn't see it because nothing was going on. So, ya'll are too late, even if it somehow it was true, ya'll are just too late.

If I talk about things that happened years ago it's because I was there, and I lived through it. It's not the same to what people are doing saying "see how Jimin was in a relationship in 2020 and we know it because she posted a photo in 2024?" It's too ridiculous. Next time, try to get the rumours as the relationship is still going and have at least one single photo of them in the same room. Otherwise, I just can't be bothered.

This is literally Jimin's first and only relationship rumour, ever, in 10 years. All of the other members have had the same type of rumours, some of them had several, and none of them turned out true or at least nobody could confirm it. I didn't care about those rumours either because same this same that was never "evidence" for me. Namjoon even laughed about it once, posting on instagram the headline and saying it was fake. I remember there was a dog involved, too.

So, that's pretty much it. I don't believe it because first, that's just not me, I don't think "same this" is proof of anything when there's not even proof that Jimin knows her or has even talked to her, ever. Second, because of who initiated the rumours and the timing, it's always conveniently brought up at very certain times. Lastly, because even if the taekookers detectives are right (because it's literally all them), it's too late. I'm not about to revisit history to try and fit something that I never saw and of which there's not proof enough for me to say that it actually happened.

[cherryminxx]

Ahhh!!! Previous Annon here (one that asked about LIs) and I love your opinions about them <3 They’re all so unique and I love the whitney head cannon too.

Thought I’d share my own opinions about all of them because I’ll probably be frequent here! (mostly hidden under anonymous but still)

!!SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN’T ROMANCED GH AND A FEW OTHER SPOILERS FOR FOM AND SDV BTW :(!!

DOL is a tricky one because I only ever romanced Eden or the great hawk (HATE eden’s introduction events and the way you go above getting their love but I saw fanart and fell in love instantly), Eden mostly because of how I can avoid paying my orphan tax at their cabin because Bailey doesn’t come collect (pretty sure there’s a lore reason to that)

GH because I think out of all of the LIs (excluding pure!Sydney, Robin and maybe Alex (their high dom is a bit iffy) they’re the most calmest and nicest of them? Sure they kidnap you at the first meeting but they honestly don’t do anything after that? (I HC they don’t understand the human concept of love so they do it in their own way

It’s pretty easy to get Stockholm syndrome with them too, and you get strong wings from them with is a plus for flying everywhere. Low maintenance too, not very demanding!

SDV isn’t that hard, considering I only ever romanced either Shane, a modded character or Hailey.

Shane because of my “I can fix him” mindset, and because of his heart events! Especially the one where marnie gets us to water him. He goes through a lot from the heart events and he changes through them too. He’s also the diversity quota I guess.

Hailey because I love mean blonde girls and with the way she gets nicer each heart event. Also love her relationship with Emily, they’re so cute together and I love them both equally. Hailey’s also such an interesting character as you go along?? You learn how she’s upset about her parents just leaving them with the house and some money but she doesn’t want to show it if I remember her events correctly. Love her so much and she deserves the world and more

FOM is easier because I fell in love at first sight

Hayden. Him riding in on a horse?? Giving me turnip seeds?? Fell in love on the spot with that man. I love heneritta (excuse me if I spelt her name wrong) too, best chicken in the entire game and the only chicken I love fully (srry coop chickens).

He’s also one of the only plus-sized (?) bachelors and I love him for that. Also the fact he’s a himbo, I love me a himbo with a beard that knows his way around a farm (I love farmers in general) and with animals <3

Second option would’ve been Olric (Orlic? I forgot how to spell his name JUST now) if he was a marriage candidate because I love geology hoes but I’ve headcannon’d him as Aromantic just because he seems too busy collecting rocks to notice when your trying to court him into dating. He might not be dateable but if he was I’d drop everything to give that man all my perfect ore.

Juniper too, I don’t have much of a reason for her tbh I just love woman that are mysterious and witchy in their own time.

I never really liked march, I didn’t understand the hype for him but when the heart event update comes out maybe I’ll find what people mean. I just had when a fandom locks into one character and that’s ALL the fanart/fanfics you see.

Thanks for coming to my rant, sorry if I bored you out through the paragraphs but I’m very passionate about certain things. Gonna be frequent here I can tell, might as well give myself a cool Anon name or smth when I think of one.

Ohmygosh I literally am In love with all of ur opinions

I’ve never actually romanced Eden but I am LITERALLY in LOVE with all of his fanart and fics etc! Honestly I think I haven’t romanced him due to being a creature of comfort and I always just go for Whitney and forget about the rest LOL. As for great hawk I actually forgot about him, I never knew you could get wings from him that is DEFINITELY going to come in handy!

IM SO GLAD YOU MENTIONED HAYDEN BEING PLUS SIZED. Hes like my big perfect beefy man with ABS !! and ugh I totally see how he’s a himbo (Himbos are literally my favorite of all time)

I’m also so sad about olric when I saw him at first I legit was like “yeah it’s gonna be him” AND THE GAME JUST MAKES HIM NON-ROMANCEABLE HELLO?? it was quite literally my sadest discovery hopefully the devs listen and add his cute self. I LOVE your aromantic headcanon I absolutely agree! he’s too busy looking at rocks he doesn’t notice your flirting duh

As for March I’m so glad you’re not the only one who’s head over heels for him like I just don’t get it. He’s just mean 😭 like I guess I see the appeal but again I’d like to see his new heart events before I make a better opinion of him!! Plus you’re so right about the March fanart don’t get me wrong it’s great! But I would love to see way more ryis and Haden art and hopefully fics in the future!

Honestly Shane has been my go to a couple of times! not as much as Harvey per say (I love his dumb ass) but I kind of like how different his personality is from the rest of the town! it definitely adds some deepness to the sdv lore? I’m horrible at explaining 😭

Btw u absolutely did not bore me I loved reading this! I love seeing other peoples prospectives on characters, so it was a treat reading yours! :D

so glad to welcome you as my anon hehehhehe >:D

[evansbby]

I apologize for taking so many days to get to this. Please don’t take it personally. This chapter was phenomenal, and I loved that it was so long! Don’t ever apologize for thinking you wrote too much.

I’m going to get a few things out of the way before getting into the heavier stuff. 1st, Wanda is a horrendous friend to reader. She only pays her any attention when she hasn’t got a man around, and she’s way too much of a drinker, and a mean drunk at that. 2nd, Curtis is disgusting. It pains me to say so because I usually love a Curtis, but this one is just a pig. Trying to get reader at the party, then settling for Wanda, and stringing her along while he’s with however many other girls along the way. 3rd, as impossibly hard as it would have been, reader should have told Sharon the truth in the beginning. It would have been mortifying, and probably would have ended the friendship, but it would have saved them both a lot of pain, and reader a lot of guilt.

Now onto Ari and Steve. Neither of them would give her a breather so she could think things over, or figure anything out. She needed a break from both of them for that. The main difference I see between them is that Ari manipulates her, is sweet when she hits her breaking point, but doesn’t apologize or take responsibility for the havoc he’s caused in her life. Taking her on a picnic seems nice, but he basically kidnaps her, and brings her someplace completely secluded. She had no choice in the matter. At least he didn’t force himself on her. Steve apologizes, takes responsibility, and tries to explain his issues, albeit unsuccessfully. He does try though. He also tells her how he feels, and not just because he’s forced into it. He came to her in the window, he allowed her to stay in her safe place. Reader either misses or ignores red flags with each. She was the other woman for Ari, even if naively. Once a cheater, always a cheater. She was not his first, and likely wouldn’t be his last regardless of what he said. I know she didn’t understand the situation in the beginning, but she still continued on with it when she did. He told her repeatedly he’d dump Sharon, but led them both on for an extended time. Huge red flags. With Steve, he was on a ledge, drinking, and told her he’d taken medications. He said more than once he hoped he would stay comfortably numb, that it would be enough, that he didn’t care if it was over. He was crying out for help. She kinda got it, but not quite, and sent him on his way. That was as red a flag as could be. The wind was an ominous sign, and she even felt that it was. The night was not going to end well. I will give Ari credit for calling for help when Steve passed out. What Steve did to reader in his bedroom was awful. He attempted to rape her, and make her feel like she asked for it. I’m not going to excuse that. It was wrong. He has definite issues. He does seem genuinely sorry for it, and took responsibility for it.

Now for poor Kira. As soon as you first introduced us to her, I knew Ari had done something horribly wrong to her to change her and her life so much. He did that maliciously, and ruined her life. She will never forget that. It will be on her mind everyday. She doesn’t deserve that. That she was his friend’s little sister who trusted him makes it even worse. I think reader and Kira could be good friends, and help each other a great deal.

All that considered, to answer your questions:

1. Although Ari’s picnic had a beautiful setting, I prefer Steve coming to the window. It was more sincere.

2. Wanda is an awful friend. If she hadn’t been so drunk, mean and desperate she may have heard correctly that Curtis TRIED to have sex with reader, reader refused!

3. Sharon had every right to be upset with reader. Reader not only cheated with Ari, she didn’t confess when she should have.

4. I believe there were more than just nude pictures involved in what Ari did to reader.

5. After weighing the behavior of each, neither of which is anywhere close to perfect, and how they acted afterwards, I’m Team Steve. Please don’t kill him off.

Thank you so much for all your hard work in writing this chapter as well as the previous ones, and thank you for sharing your gift with us. 💝

Oh my gosh please do not apologise! It’s taking me ages to slowly get through all the feedback and I’m not even close to done so it’s good you took all the time you needed! I get that it’s a super long fic and I’m honoured that you and so many others read through it!

so you are staunchly team Steve as are many other people on here 😂😂 I feel like if I was a reader and not the author, I’d be on team Steve too just bc of how tragically he’s written hehe I’m a sucker for tragically written characters!

And you’re very right, Steve was crying out for help multiple times when he climbed through reader’s window… it was all just a big cry for help but it went over reader’s head. She can’t be blamed tho, she had problems of her own. But I get why she would blame herself 😭

As for Ari… well you really dislike him don’t you 😂 and I get why… he’s done a lot of unforgivable things! But one thing I will say is that he didn’t REALLY kidnap her I mean she clearly lowkey wanted to go with him and it did her good to get some sunshine and leave her dorm room where she’d been rotting! I mean sure it was technically kidnap but you know 😂😂😂

ANYWAYS, thank you so so much for this super long and lovely review! It’s always a pleasure reading what you have to say about my fics! Thank you soooo much 🥹🥹🫶🏼🫶🏼

[thefisherqueen]

Granada's Sherlock Holmes: Thor Bridge

I haven't watched this Granada episode yet. The canon story started off so well and then got quite dissapointing, the plot heavily relying on racism and sexism. I remember a repeated use of 'exotic woman'. I'm curious to see how Granada will handle it.

The location where they filmed the opening scene is beautiful. Look at those gardens and gates.

*Mother stands before window, waves at own children and governess* *All just stare back* Wow, rude. So they kept the part where the morther comes from Brasil, then. Please don't just keep the original plot? On another note: this lady is wearing a bright red dress with, for victorian standards, a very deep cleavage. This seems like a not entirely innocent artistic choice: red and sexy because of the racist stereotype of her being 'passionate'.

Ok, so the lady goes to her husband, shows them the flower she's plucked. He shuts the curtain. That's just mean. My sympathy is actually more and more with this lady. She can have a little murder

Lady to random guy: "Never allow yourself to love too deeply. It will destroy you." Guy: ?????

Actual scene at the bridge: the lady is again wearing a red dress with a lot of lace, a very deep neckline and even a velvet collar. I would call it quite sexy even by today's standards. Compare that with the governess, clad all in white with a high neckline, the very picture of supposed innocence and virginity. Urgh I hate this coding

Holmes sitting in a weird way is always a blessing. He looks so happy and content! (such a good look for Jeremy Brett) Ah, Watson deduces correctly that he has a case, that's why!

I had forgotten the passage where Holmes complains about his eggs being too hard boiled because the cook was reading a romance story at the same time. It makes for a very funny scene. Jeremy Brett puts a lot of emphasis on the magazine (The family herald) being 'excellent', even more strongly implying that he read and loved the story. I just want to know - how explicit was it? Are we dealing with fluff here, or smut?

*Holmes making a thorough mess of the papers once again* I love how Edward Hardwicke doesn't even object anymore, only sighs

Holmes: "I'm falling into your beloved habit of telling stories backwards" sir why are you so snarky. Go eat your breakfast

Wait, the governess wouldn't smile at the lady, but actually does smile at the husband? Urgh I would hate it if they made her actually in love. It's even worse because in this episode it's clear he's so much older than her

The following scene is hilarious. The client is almost at the door, Holmes has made a mess of informing Watson, and then chaotically tries to make up for it in top speed. Such ADHD behaviour. This scene actually does a great job of showing how Watson helps Holmes with his thinking: he brings structure and clarity with his questions

Granada has something of a problem of making each woman either scream or sob or (in this case) faint

Good that they kept the passage where a servant of his tells Holmes how harsh the husband is and how badly he treated his wife. I'm still hoping this gets resolved better than in the canon story, or the racism at least adressed, but I'm low on hope in the moment, considering they kept everything so far the same

I love the kids on the street, all excited to climb on what is probably the first car they've ever seen. In just a bit of time they'll go on to hate those

The scene where the client tries to tempt Holmes with the promiss of money or fame is very well done. Jeremy Brett is acting Not Impressed and Unamused to be told what to do (TM) and it's awesome. Especially that little desmissive hand gesture when he points the client to a chair

Jeremy Brett is so pretty when he looks grave and concerned

Holmes: "What are your exact relations with miss Dunbar?" *uncomfortable silence* Client: "Well I suppose you are within your rights..." Holmes: "We would agree to suppose so" Haha, loving everything about this exchange. I'm not even sure if I can describe what Jeremy went for here, but gods, he nailed it. Somehow it's giving 'I'm laughing at you' and 'I'm irritated at you' and 'careful, I'm dangerous' all at the same time *goes on to watch the same scene 10 times*

*Client angrily storms out after Holmes accuses him of lying and doesn't come back* *Watson proposes they still engage on behalf of the governess* Ah, Granada does stir away from canon here, if I remember it well. Loved the scenes and the way the team reworked it

*client angrily sends them away from miss Dunbar* "I'll have you crushed for this, Holmes" Oooh they are really making the client more into the villain of this story. That is a good sign. I don't get why he gets a say into who visits her, however. Just because he was her employer?? That's fucked up. Oh wait, maybe it's because he pays for her defense?

I always love Granada's crime scene investigations, the one at Thor bridge is no exception

"Some of you rich man must be told that the world cannot be bribed into condoning your offences" There it is, the great line!

I'm getting gender envy from seeing the governess striding about the garden in her long skirt. I love those skirts. But I almost never wear them because you can't cycle in those, and being Dutch, being able to cycle is way more important than gender feelings

I love how once more it is Watson that helps Holmes figure it all out at the end

Watson after the demonstration: "My revolver, Holmes." Aww he looks and sounds so sad! Poor Watson

Watson, ever the romantic, wishes the client and miss Dunbar would marry. Holmes seems sceptical and I love him for that (I had to look up what magnanimous means)

I wish Granada would have just gone ahead and made mr Gibson - the known exploiter, harrasser and abuser - the murderer. But I understand that it would have been too great a change from the canon story, messing up the great reveal. It's such a shame though that they still went through with all the 'exotic, passionate, insane woman from Brazil in the sexy dress' stuff. That could so easily have been cut without losing major plot points. It already have been a more balanced representation if they would have made miss Dunbar a woman of colour too. I also would have liked it better if the client would have faced some actual consequences for his violent and hateful behaviour (though he certainly was thoroughly called out by Holmes). The episode is so well done otherwise

[an-sceal]

I got a haircut the other day, which was awesome. I've spent the past 48 hours looking at a stranger in the mirror when I pass one. I don't ever have a firm picture or solid understanding of "that is me in my body" when I look at myself anyway, just a vaguely recognized set of individual features (my ear with the elf point, my nose that is either too big or okay depending on the day, but is always the same shape, my eyebrows that are psychotic, my tattoo that is art.) Now my hair is short but still too long, which I will fix when I get home.

Before the haircut I was having a third or fourth day of feeling like nothing I was doing with or for my body was sitting correctly. Nausea from meds that are supposed to help my autoimmune disease, and bloating from meds that are supposed to help my stomach deal with the meds that help the arthritis, and fatigue from... everything? Anything? Breathing? (Possibly breathing, because allergens, and thus inflammation triggers, are high.) Clothes and hair and posture and voice were all clashing in this thing that contains me but doesn't fit. And I have had this body for many decades now, minus a part here or there, so I am very used to not feeling at home in it. Not feeling like my body is any sort of representation of who I am, or even a reliably identifiable placeholder for the spaces marked "ME".

It took me over 40 years to figure out that I wasn't a failure as a girl, as a woman, as a "female", even after I knew there were options well beyond the two I'd been given, or the notion of others thought I understood. Part of that was down to assuming I wasn't *____* enough to count. I didn't know what, but I knew I didn't hate my body, so I couldn't be trans, or even not-a-woman in some other way. Sometimes I clung to that as a defense, firm in reminding myself that I didn't, so I wasn't. Sometimes it just was, existing, a fact like my body, which is obvious to everyone else but a mystery to me at the best of times. In my mind, even though I've rarely felt at peace or in sync with "woman", I'd never had a moment where I explicitly felt that I wasn't a woman, much less one where I hated the idea. How would I have hated something that people told me I was, when I literally need to rely on the vague shape of myself and the labels people I trust have given me just to find myself in a mirror?

I was pretty clear for a long time on how I'd never felt any sort of gender dysphoria. Quite the opposite-- the things I held on to, got familiar with like the extra bump of my ear or the round tip of my nose, were all times I'd felt the MOST grounded and at home in this alien ecosystem I keep my consciousness in. Times I felt GOOD about how my hair fell or my clothes sat or my insides settled into my outsides. No dysphoria for me, no, no! Euphoria!

And that’s true! I have felt gender euphoria, lots of it, and bodily euphoria as I have moments where I'm seated and perfect inside my little squishy home. It never occurred to me that those opposite times, when I would have given ANYTHING to step outside my horrible hovel of a skin prison, might be... not how everyone feels. I'm not talking about self-harm or suicidal ideation-- the escape only counts if the me I know and am is intact when I emerge. I'm talking days where every part of me I recognized felt so disconnected and WRONG in relation to who I believed my body made me that I couldn't find any response but intense anxiety and eventual dissociation to cope with it.

I am not drift-compatible with my own body.

[may-nr1rooftoptriodefender]

My kind of Woman

pairings: Link (Hero of Time)/Malon, (implied)Link (Hero of Legend)/Marin

summary: It seemed to go on for forever. Walking through the woods. The old man said he knew where they were, but why did it take so long to get to his destination?

warnings: Implied Marin/Legend so kind of Links Awakening spoilers (not rlly), sets right before they go to Lon Lon Ranch (LU comic spoilers)

notes: anyways I’m in my Legend era. Could talk about him and Marin for hours. This will have a part 2, where they meet Malon and he thinks about Marin and whatever whatever… Also this first part was a bit boring, second part will be better… I promise

masterlist

They’ve been traveling for some time now. Through the forest, slaying monsters. It was weird. Suddenly there are 8 different versions of you. The same story, different adventures. Different people, different places… Even if it was hard to believe, this wasn’t the weirdest thing they’ve ever seen.

No one really know how they ended up like this, but they’ll probably figure it out someday. The most important question right now: Where are they?

Traveling can be fun, sometimes. They’ve done harder things but it’s still not that much fun sleeping in the woods. Wandering around through them without knowing their goal. Up until a few hours ago.

When the old man spoke up, everyone got a bit relieved. No one would admit it though.

“I recognize these woods” was what he’d said.

Suddenly they knew where to go. Well, kind of. The oldest of them in charge, navigating through the many, many trees. He knew where they were going. The others didn’t.

And oh how he hated it. Not knowing where to go. Relying on others. If they atleast knew where the old man will take them. It’s not that he didn’t trust the others, he just trusted himself more. He hated going without a map and now he has to go through an unfamiliar forest with someone leading he barely knows.

It’s not like he wants to know them. Sure, bickering was fun. Not being entirely alone was fun, kind of. But he knew they wouldn’t stay. If they figured that out correctly, they would return to different times of Hyrule at the end of this.

He would never see them again, so better not get attached. And you can’t get attached if you barely know them. Some liked to talk, a lot. Like the sailor who always talks about his home and sister and grandma and and and. Or the Captain, who loves talking about himself and his achievements.

If they would know what he achieved, they would shut up pretty fast. He’s not going to tell them though. He’s just like the old man. Always keeping secrets. He often gets annoyed when he doesn’t know a lot about those near him. But to be fair, he wouldn’t share either so he had to suffer in silence.

Thinking about it, if it was the old man’s Hyrule, they’d probably go to his home or maybe the castle.

Right. How could he forget? The old man was married, of course he would go home to see his wife.

Stupid. Can’t see what’s clearly in front of you.

He still had that bet with the Captain. He wants to meet her and show the Captain how wrong he had been. The Princess? A man like him? He himself knows what kind of girl he would go for so if the old man had taste, he would too.

Of course the Captain doesn’t has good taste. He only sees the fame and royal status. Zelda was nice, yeah… But she couldn’t compare. Ever.

Nope. Not thinking about this again. Not now. He’ll probably be sour when they arrive. Jealous even, so do not make that worse.

They’ve been walking for hours. He wasn’t tired, just bored. The others seemed to like a break as well. The old man still didn’t say a word.

The Rancher seemed stiff. Focused. Cautious.

The Captain tried to look unaffected, but you could see right through it. He needs beauty sleep. A lot of it.

The Cook wasn’t far behind Rancher. But he was unfocused. Not exhausted, not even close to it. He was walking carelessly, admiring the trees. As if they didn’t walk through a forest these last days. Weeks? Maybe even months?

Traveler was next to him. Also looking around, but cautious of his surroundings.

The Hero of the Sky was basically sleep walking. Tired. Looked like he would drop dead any second.

The smaller heroes were the last of the line.

The Sailor talked quietly but exited about something to the Smith. The Smith was listening closely, sometimes muttering an answer.

It seemed to go on forever.

my kind of woman - Mac deMarco

[dearreaderyourenotonyourown]

Dear reader,

Hey, it's me again, I know it's been a while now, but this was scary, I was never free to use my voice.

I'm trying to be free again, to be me again.

Everyday is different, some days I feel just fine, and in others I really don't have the strengh to get out of bed, and just now I realize that for someone who was in my situation for so long, this is kind of normal, as long as I keep reminding me that every day ends, and the sun will rise again in the morning.

And don't worry, I'm in therapy, in fact I really love to go to my psychologist and just let it all out, another fact? I'm also a psychologist!

And before you guys go "WHAT? THIS GIRL HAS SO MANY PROBLEMS AND IS A PSYCHOLOGIST?" I just wanted to say we psychologist sometimes have so many problems, some of actually enter the course trying to figure it out our heads and the people around us, to understand a little better why we are the way we are, and then we just wanna help people to understand theirselves too, like us.

I have, anxiety, a very challenging one, my anxiety can cause anxiety attack, panic attacks, can trigger my eating desorder, can trigger my skin demartite, among other things. My anxiety attacks are mild, but some of my panic attacks can be pretty bad. And due to a lot of things I have some symptoms of PTSD.

Like I said some days can be really bad, because on top of that we all have to deal with the demands of our society, as woman, my weight, my skin, my lack of girlfriend/boyfriend, if I wear makeup or not, to much or to little, the lenght of my skirt or shorts, or my clevage, and as a girl who is fat, and no, fat is not bad word to me anymore, I'm fat, I'm a big girl, I just don't care anymore, I prefer to use it myself to let others use it to diminish me, and I'm happy in my decision, the problem is that people some times play dirty. Like when you're feeling good in a dress that is more tight, they say something to make you feel uncomfortable, like "I would ashamed if my belly would be like that" or "This dress is not really for your body type" and so much worse.

As a fat girl, trying to build my self esteem, I can tell you guys it's freaking hard, this world and our society really don't want women to be healthy, and I mean, physically, mentally, spiritually, in any way possible. I have heard that I'm not loveable in the eyes of a man because I'm fat, that I'm not desirable because I'm fat, that no man or woman would fall in love with me because I'm just not that pretty because I'm fat, that my thin friends no matter what they would use they would look better than me, because...I'm fat, you guessed correctly, that I'm not sexy, that my face is so pretty it's just sad that my body it's not a match (Many came from my wonderfull parents). I could go on, but I guess you guys get my point.

I'm not even going to enter the maternity stuff, I'm 26 and I had 1 boyfriend who was awful, really bad, really toxic, for another post kind story, and everyone asks me about boyfriends, girlfriends, getting kids and this kind of stuff, but, hey guys I'm single!

Don't get me wrong, I have this dream, some can called it childish, of love, I would absolutelly love to meet someone, to fall in love, to get married, and maybe have kids, I believe in finding THE ONE, and soulmates, and happilly ever after, to live this love that sweeps you out of your feet, I believe it so much, that I made a playlist on spotify for the future THE ONE in my life to explain how I feel about them, and again I don't believe that life is always like this, I believe we can build romance, and be romantic. I just never found this for me. And I want this in my time, because I found the right person, not because society wants me.

But is not fair to lie to you guys either, altough, yes I'm building my self esteem and I'm in therapy, and also more comfortable on my own skin, I also hate myself somedays, I also hate the mirror somedays and I'm really unhappy with my body somedays.

I cry, I scream, I look at myself and it hurts, and with therapy and feel that I can be loved by my friends and my aunt, but I don't feel that I can be loved like a woman, I don't feel loveable, desirable, I feel like I am meant to be alone, because nobody can love me, that I'm not worth it, that I'm not good enough, and it pains me so much because all I trully want it's to feel love like this, to love someone and to be loved back.

Again its like I said, everyday is a battle, and I'm trying so hard to win this one, to feel like a deserve love and to be loved, that I'm worth it, I know that this pain comes not only from the comments about my body, but also from the situations that my parents put me in, the things they told me my hole life, like, how I was a bad child, how I trapped them, how they left me alone in the cold, without care and food, how they used me against one another, like a toy, like pawn in their saddistic games, how they use to beat me, and make me correct their wrongs, or how they used to fight and I had to get in between them, how they used me in their divorce, going to the court house and the police, and asking me to choose a side, making me talk to lawyers, and making me do corps delicti, making me lie, and recording our conversations to show one another or in court, kidnapping me, I can say I'm not afraid of hell, because I lived it in my own house, with my parents.

I have hope, that one day I find the strengh in myself to believe again that I'm worth it of love, of happiness, I hope that in this day I really can find this love I dream about. I really hope that I can win this war, and feel the wonders and the downfalls of falling in love,

Love,

Giih.

[miamoo27]

Hustlers

This Saturday, my boyfriend and I went to New York City to see a show. On our way there, we took the Lincoln Tunnel. The whole time we were in the tunnel, he blabbered on about “Men in Black” and the scene when they drove on the top of the tunnel with that Elvis song blasting. Honestly, if you put me in a car and we go into the city, I won't listen. I will be too busy watching and observing everything. Later on the way home, I was thinking of a thousand different stories to tell for this class. It was only when I passed my favorite building that I settled on this one. He asked me if I would be uncomfortable telling it. I said, “when have you ever known me to be uncomfortable” he responded, “only if you are in crowds.” Thank god this class isn't a crowd. 

Every Sunday, my father would take me to Greenwich Village to visit my half-sister or go to the Guggenheim museum. My brother never went because he had Lacrosse practice or was with friends. My mother was separated at the time from my father; besides, even in the past, she never went because she hated my half-sister. I was a 13-year-old girl with dreams of becoming “Gossip Girls” Blair Waldorf.  Instead of going to 5th ave and eating croissants, we went to Greenwich Village. When my parents graced each others’ presence in the same house, there was always fighting and alcohol, so going to the city with my dad was the only time I would spend any quality alone time with him. 

I remember waiting for my father’s arrival on my porch with my greasy skin and hair pulled back in a bun. My bangs never looked clean despite scrubbing the shit out of them with Herbal Essence. My armpits always smelt no matter how many showers I took or how much Degree Sport deodorant I applied. My eyeliner smudged, making me look like a raccoon, and my pants never fit me correctly (an issue that has followed me into adulthood). I waited with my knocky knees, rubbing them nervously. My mother usually gave me a dirty look behind my back as she muttered some Italian curse words that either only some tiny village in Italy could understand or she made them up entirely. I watched as my dad's red Jeep pulled up. 

I hopped up into my dad’s car and could still feel the beaming tension from my mother on the stoop of my house. I was ready to embark on the 40-minute drive to my sister’s apartment.It was the same drive I would take to go anywhere out of my small town. Nothing new. My dad would play 107.1. He thought that was the “cool channel.” He would sometimes take the top off the jeep, but I would complain my hair would become a mess. He seemed happy, like I said before, despite his failed marriage and failed wife. 

Once we were on the bridge, I liked to look backward at New Jersey, watching Fort Lee disappear in the distance. I didn’t mind what was in front of me because if I turned my head forward, I’d see all of the apartment complexes of Washington Heights beautifully placed on the rolling hills of the Manhattan cliffs.  The ride to the city was overstimulating and beautiful like some urban carnival ride with flashing lights and weird smells. Going from suburban tranquility to the hustle and bustle of the New York streets always intrigued me. I recall finding myself on the edge of my seat, eagerly awaiting the next sight. Sometimes we would see dogs playfully fighting or colorful displays of road-rage insanity. My dad would change gears and try to have a conversation with me at this point. I was too mesmerized by the whole experience I would answer him in a few words (or sometimes less). I only went with you for the ride. I welcomed any opportunity to leave Jersey and see New York. 

There was one particular building I fell in love with. Hustlers. To go to Greenwich Village, we always took the West Side Highway, where I would get the chance to see boobs on a huge sign right off the road. I had no boobs at the time and still don't which is the reality of my experience of being a woman. Sometimes you do not get huge boobs. Sometimes you do.  Despite the building being a hot spot for lonely men (no judgment), the architecture was alluring. A portrait Banksy painted also was on the side of the building. Looking closely on the left side while driving, you could see a "gentleman" pouring flowers on the ground. I wasn't staring just to see Banksy. I also was looking at the girl with crystal blue eyes and huge boobs staring at me. A new girl was on the billboard every month. I did not know if I wanted to be them or if I wanted to be with them. They all had straight, silky hair and huge boobs (always huge boobs), and I wished I could go inside the cement building, say hi to the gentleman with the flowers, and see one of the girls. Staring was a risky choice with two homophobic parents, though.  

When I would stare at them with my father sitting next to me, my cheeks would light up. I would feel my body getting hot with embarrassment and wish my father was not in the car. I knew what my feelings towards the billboard meant because I had the same for men. The questions running through my 13-year-old mind made me nervous that I would always have a stomach on our way back from the city. And I would avoid eye contact with the next girl on the billboard when we went back into the city. 

But my boyfriend didn't care. On Saturday, when we drove past Hustlers, we looked at the girl. Instead of being embarrassed or keeping my thoughts to myself. At 22, my parents may have no clue about my wondering eye for the same sex, but the person I love does, and he embraces it. With love, I accepted that part of myself. 

[messers-moony]

Home | F.H

Paring: Five Hargreeves X Fem!Reader

Summary: Five goes through everything with his best friend, and when they return with the announcement of their marriage his siblings are appalled. 

Request: “I can request a FiveXreader where the reader is loving, sweet and naive, Five's best friend but the reader has no powers (You can invent a way how they became best friends and they are in love with each other, cliché but I love) One day the reader was sitting in front of the Umbrella Academy and saw Five leave in a hurry (The scene that he will travel in time) In this the reader does not abandon Five and decides to travel in time with him, they end up trapped in the apocalylipse, can you make them stay together?  (Like married I don't know) And also the scene where they go back to 2019? Sorry, if this so bored”

Five couldn’t believe his eyes. After a failed mission, he and his siblings decided to sneak out. Klaus had spotted a park on the way home, and that’s where they went. For the first time in years, they felt like kids again. They were all ten years old and had never experienced a playground before. Allison had never laughed as much, and Diego seemed to finally forget his insecurities while swinging from monkey bars. 

Even on occasion, Luther would help Ben cross the monkey bars. Vanya was finally included, and Klaus had never seemed so carefree in his life. But Five had his eyes on someone else. She sat at one of the navy blue tables, quite a ways away from the playground, watching the siblings with a soft smile on her face. A notebook was in front of her while she twirled a pencil in her hand. 

Curiosity killed the cat. Five was too intrigued not to sit with her. So despite this probably being the only time he could experience a playground, he sat in front of her, obscuring her vision from his other six siblings. Her eyes met green ones; they looked evergreen in the dark of the night. His hair almost looked black, but she knew it had to be dark brown. 

“Good evening.” Her voice, it sounded like heaven to him, “Evening.”

It felt awkward, and the silence could’ve been cut with a knife, “My names Y/n.”

“Five.”

“Five? That’s unique.” Y/n complimented, and his cheeks flushed, “Thanks….” 

Her vision went back to the other kids, “You’d think they’ve never seen a playground before.”

“They haven’t.” Five stated, looking at his siblings, “Our father is strict, so we snook out to come here.”

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to come off as rude-“

“You didn’t.” Five smiled, looking at her e/c eyes. 

Since then, Five would sneak out a lot more. His power was a fantastic tool. When he and his siblings began to sneak out more, Five always invited her. Klaus, Diego, and Vanya seemed taken with her. Y/n was always so kind and sweet. Her laugh radiated, and it made everyone around her smile. It was like she was Aphrodite, and he was Ares. 

After becoming friends with the academy kids, Y/n had a habit of sitting outside the academy. She usually sat on the edge of the sidewalk with her notebook on her lap, pencil in hand. Five couldn’t remember a time when her hand wasn’t covered in graphite or ink from drawing. He adored it, though, because it was so her. It made him stare at his black pens, aimlessly smiling, knowing that she probably had the same color ink on her hand. 

Becoming friends with Five meant knowing his ambition. Five Hargreeves was driven by his goals and wanted to do them regardless of the consequence. So Y/n knew about his dream to time travel despite his father's wishes. On a gloomy day, Y/n sat on the sidewalk. The only thing drawing her from her daydream was the slam of a gate. 

“Five!”

He didn’t turn, “Five!”

Y/n grabbed his arm, “What’re you doing?”

“I’m- I’m going to time travel.” Five stated with that daze in his eyes, “And you need to stay here.”

“No! I’m not letting you go alone!” Y/n exclaimed incredulously, “Y/n, please.” Five pleaded. 

She shook her head, “Absolutely not. Either we go together, or we stay here together.”

“Fine.” Five reluctantly agreed, holding out his hand for her. 

Hesitantly Y/n slid her fingers through his. They were intertwining their hands together. Five was so focused on time-traveling correctly that he didn’t notice the pink flush on his best friend's face. But he did it, once and twice—finally a third time. Smoke clouded the area, and fire could be seen for miles. 

Y/n dropped his hand and covered her mouth. Five circled in his spot in shock. He felt nauseous and queasy. He couldn’t believe that he let this happen. He shouldn’t have pushed himself. They were stuck. Fucking hell, they were stuck, and he couldn’t do anything. Y/n ran back to the academy, and Five followed her. The h/c haired girl stared at what used to be the Umbrella Academy. Now in ruins. Five dropped to his knees, tears collecting in his eyes. 

“It’s- it’s gone….” 

Y/n hugged him tightly, “It’s okay, we’re going to be okay.”

“I’m gonna- I’m gonna be-“ 

Five didn’t get to finish his sentence. He pushed her away and threw up to the side. When he finished, Y/n took her jacket sleeve and wiped it around his mouth—gently combing his hair from his face. Y/n had never seen Five look so drained. Seeing her in front of him, taking care of him made him break. Five broke into sobs holding onto her like a lifeline. Y/n rubbed his back and held him just as tightly. 

“I’m here, Five. I’ll keep you safe.”

Being thirteen in an apocalypse seems like a death sentence, but when you grow up the way Five did, it’s more bearable. The first few months were awful. Searching for shelter, food, clothes. It was downright hell, but they made it through. On cold nights Five would hold her close to his chest, and on hot nights Y/n would always manage to get him cold water. 

Years passed, and their friendship turned into a relationship. They needed each other to survive, and they just needed each other. Five couldn’t be more grateful that she insisted on coming. He couldn’t imagine doing this alone. But now, he had his girlfriend leaning her head on his shoulder while watching the fire. His arm wrapped around her shoulder, leaving occasional kisses on her temple. 

“I couldn’t imagine this world without you.” Five confessed, “I couldn’t imagine my life without you.” Y/n challenged. 

He smirked, “Oh, really?” 

“Don’t let it go to your head, smartass.” Y/n snorted, “Too late, it’s already there, my love.” Five retorted. 

She kissed his cheek, “Love you.”

“Love you too, darling.” 

Five years later. They were twenty-five, and he wanted to make it official. It was a rather cold day wherever they were, and Five was holding her closer than ever. Y/n was shivering on the old mattress they had found. She was constantly snuggling closer to Five’s chest. They laid facing each other, and Y/n’s head was tucked under his chin. Five’s hand ran through her long hair - after being unable to cut it - soothing her nerves. 

“Marry me.”

“What?”

“I want you - Y/n - to marry me.” Five repeated, looking down at her.

Her teeth chattered, “Are you sure?”

“It’s not like there’s anyone else to choose from.”

Y/n glared playfully, and Five chuckled, “Asshole.”

“So, what do you say? Make me the happiest man on earth and marry me?”

“I say that if my fiancé doesn’t stop being an asshole, then I won't marry him.” Y/n retorted jokingly, “I love you too, pretty girl.” Five replied, smiling softly. 

He kissed her forehead and allowed her to muzzle closer into him. Gently he pulled the two plain rings he found. They were battered, of course, and the gold was dirty, but that didn’t matter. Five slipped the ring on her finger and his. Y/n placed a gentle kiss on his lips that he gladly returned. Sweet, soft, passionate, and full of love. A description of how she was. 

“Love you.”

“Love you too.” Five replied, “Now get some sleep.” 

Y/n was about to fall asleep when she heard Five mutter one last thing, “Y/n Hargreeves.”

29 years. 348 months. 1512 weeks. 10,585 days. Until a woman showed up in their shelter, offering them both a job. Five could remember pushing Y/n behind him defensively. The last thing he wanted was for her to get hurt in any interaction he had. The woman offered them a way home. Five turned to his wife, and she saw it. For the first time in forty-five years, she saw it. Hope. 

Y/n took Five’s hand in his, squeezing it gently. The softest smile crossed his features before agreeing with the woman’s offer where both of them became assassins—partners in crime. Nothing turned Five on more than seeing his wife fend for herself, and god, was she good at it. Y/n was so naive and innocent when she was ten. But now? At the age of fifty-six, she wasn’t that girl anymore. 

But when they reached the age of fifty-eight, Five finally found out the correct equation. They were at their last mission, make sure John F. Kennedy gets shot and everything goes to plan, but Five had different ideas. Taking Vanya’s book from his suitcase, he looked over the equations one last time. They were going back; Five would go home today. 

“Y/n.”

“Yes, love?”

Five sighed, “Are you ready?”

“Ready for what?”

“To go home.” 

Y/n’s smile was blissful; Five could’ve fainted on the spot, “Home?! Like- Like-“

“Home.” Five answered to his overjoyed wife. 

Y/n kissed him more passionately than ever. Five could feel her gratefulness in her kiss. His hands placed themselves on her waist, and hers were around his neck. God Five never wanted to forget this feeling. The feeling of his wife in his arms, kissing him as she would never get enough. When they pulled apart, Five opened the portal. Gripping her hand, they jumped through and landed on the leaf-filled ground in the icy rain. 

“Does anyone else see Little Number Five and Little Y/n, or is that just me?“ Klaus asked, not trusting his eyes; maybe it was an illusion from the drugs. 

Five and Y/n stood up. The first thing Y/n noticed was the ring on her finger was too big now. But Five looked down at the suit he had been wearing previously. The blazer now reached his knees instead of his waist, and Y/n’s shirt was hanging off one of her shoulders. Five and Y/n looked at each other. They were thirteen all over again. 

“Shit.” 

He grabbed Y/n’s hand and dragged her into the academy. Y/n had only been in the academy a handful of times before, and she usually was only allowed in Five’s room because she wasn’t supposed to be there in the first place. His siblings followed aimlessly and took their spots at the table. 

“What’s the date? The exact date.” Five inquired, grabbing different things around the kitchen. 

“The 24th.”

“Of what?”

“March.”

“Good.”

Y/n took place beside him as Five began making a peanut butter marshmallow sandwich. The same snack he used to love as a kid. Y/n could remember him trying to eat it back at their apartment the commission provided them but complained it was too sweet. It seems that being in his teenage body again made him crave the sweetness of the snack. 

“So, are we gonna talk about just what happened?” Luther questioned, but no one answered, “It’s been 17 years.”

Five scoffed, “It’s been a lot longer than that.”

The same big spatial jumped behind Luther as he began to take marshmallows from the cabinet, “I haven’t missed that.” Luther murmured. 

“Where’d you two go?” Diego asked. 

“The future.” Y/n answered politely, “It’s shit, by the way.” Five added spatial jumping beside her again and gently kissing her cheek. 

The siblings stared in shock at Five’s sudden act of affection; Five could feel their eyes on him, “What?”

“You just kissed her.” Allison stated, “And?”

Allison didn’t say anything, “Is it a crime for me to kiss my wife or something?” Five asked agitatedly. 

“Wife?!”

“Yes, wife.” Five sighed. 

“Called it!” Klaus exclaimed. 

“I should’ve listened to the old man. You know, jumping through space is one thing.” Five began as he looked through the fridge, “Jumping through time is a toss of the dice.” 

He came back with peanut butter in his hand at the front of the table, his wife beside him; he took in the appearance of his siblings, “Nice dress.”

“Oh, well, Danke!” Klaus smiled. 

“Wait, how did you two get back?” Vanya questioned. 

“In the end, I had to project our consciousnesses forward into a suspended quantum state version of ourselves that exists across every possible instance of time.” 

Diego couldn’t wrap his head around it, “That makes no sense.”

Five went to remark, but Y/n cut him off, “It doesn’t have to. All that matters is that we’re back.”

“How long were you two there?” Luther queried, “Forty-Five years. Give or take.”

Everyone looked at the two teens in disbelief, “So what are you saying? That you’re 58?”

“Well, not exactly. Our consciences are 58, but it appears that our bodies are back to 13.” Y/n answered. 

“Wait, how does that even work?”

“It seems that Five might’ve gotten the equations wrong.” Y/n replied, and Five glared at her, “I’m not mad! I’m just happy we’re home. Appearance be damned.”

Five took notice of the newspaper in front of Y/n, “Guess I missed the funeral.”

“How’d you even know about that?” Luther inquired, “What part of the future do you not understand?” Five retorted. 

“Heart failure?” Y/n asked, “Yeah/No.” Luther and Diego contradicted. 

Five clicked his tongue, “Nice to see nothings changed.”

The teenage boy began to walk away, “Uh, that’s it? That’s all you have to say?” Allison questioned.

“What else is there to say? It’s the circle of life.”

Vanya was the first to get up and hug Y/n, “I’m glad you’re home.”

“Me too, Vanny. Me too.”