#people joke about steven being so traumatized they had to do a whole other show about it but. MAN......

[hey-hey-j]

god SU Future HURTS but it hurts in such a good cathartic way

[artbyblastweave]

BLASTWEAVE what does steven universe have in common with watchmen?

Both Steven Universe and Watchmen are groundbreaking entries in their respective genres that demonstrate a deep understanding of the appeal of the genre they’re working in, and engage with their ideas on a previously unheard-of level for the medium. That breaks ground and clears the way for what other works in the genre can get away with. 

Steven Universe showed that, well, first of all that you can make a cartoon that’s fundamentally ideologically queer beyond a few side characters, but also that you can have an emotionally intelligent and mature children's cartoon where the character nuance and depth and development are all taken very seriously. Watchmen showed that you could write serious and interesting narratives about superheroes if you were willing to roll with the crazy. (Neither of them was the first to do the things I’m ascribing to them, but I do think that they’re what made it stick for their respective fields.)

In doing so, though, both works create/created a catch 22 for all future works in their genre. Part of what made both of them so good is that they were willing to critically unpack and air out the ugly implications of their format that usually get chalked up to suspension of disbelief, and now that that’s out in the open it becomes very difficult not to think about how any other given work is or isn’t addressing those issues- even if they aren’t equipped to address those issues in the scope of the story they’re trying to tell. Watchmen asked questions about who sanctions superheroes, what qualifies you to do that work, where the line is between heroism and fascism or if there even is one, whether the agency to act means you have a right or a duty to act, whether anyone who seriously bought into the superhero thing could possibly be doing it for good reasons, and, if they somehow were, how long you can care with the intensity necessary to be an effective hero without suffering burnout (not long.) I literally can’t think of a single superhero thing worth reading that isn’t in some way in conversation with Watchmen - you now kind of have to answer those questions, explicitly or implicitly, even if your books thesis is “Alan Moore sucks eggs and being a superhero is very sustainable and fantastic.” If you just leave the question of whether your superheroes are justified completely unaddressed, there’s an uncomfortable discordance there, because we’ve seen the extreme end of that sliding scale in the form of the Comedian and if the narrative doesn’t engage with what makes the protagonist not Edward Blake, it can feel worrisome. If they try and then botch it it can feel alarming.

Steven Universe has a similar thing going on, at least for me. It’s the only unironic, non-parodic children’s series that’s really, seriously unpacked how fucked up and traumatic it would be to grow up as the archetypical All-loving Spirited Saturday Morning Cartoon Protagonist, how warped and dysfunctional a household that enabled that lifestyle could be at its worst, and what the future looks like when your whole childhood was centered on a now-ended conflict. ( a lot of cartoons flirt with that last one but don’t commit.) I’ve seen jokes and intended-as-cracky fan theories about this for years, surrounding lots of other cartoons (Ben 10, Pokemon, Powerpuff Girls) but almost never with the assumption that the creators are on the same page as them. I’ve seen stories that are post-modern reimaginings using the same general archetypes or whatever (Venture Brothers) but that’s not this! SU told an entertaining story earnestly, and then engaged with the emotional fallout of the story it told, with an unheard-of breadth and depth. A whole season of unpacking! No other show has ever been allowed to sink that much effort into closure. That’s usually what Fanfic is for.

I think it’s great, and that shows like Infinity Train and The Owl House are able to go as hard as they do largely because of Steven Universe’s precedent- but no matter how good a cartoon is, I can’t watch them without having this voice in the back of my head going “Oh, these children are going to grow up to be broken wrecks, bar an extensive and harsh healing process that kinda hurts to watch, huh.”

The issue is that not every cartoon can be Steven Universe, where the project was to thoughtfully and sensitively unpack this stuff. It’s a fair bet that we’ll probably never see a show with that exact project again (not least because of the loss of novelty value.) You’ve got your own stories you wanna tell that’ll run their own course, mostly aimed at children, there objectively isn’t narrative or financial room for most stories to unpack these assumptions if that wasn’t the goal going in. For example, Gravity Falls had pretty tight storytelling and a narrative that absolutely had room for a post-script "where-do-we-go-from-here” plot- it sped-run the “oh no, childhood’s ending” thing- and it’s pretty telling that the aftermath, healing process, interpersonal relationships and so forth are one of the things that that fandom heavily fixates on. The narrative had such a clean ending that it made people go looking for the mess. That’s not bad! It’s how most storytelling works! But now I look at any cartoon with kid heroes that’s meant to be taken even marginally seriously and go, Oh. Win the battle, lose the war. Then I feel sad. The contrast, of course, is that most superhero works actually can be, and in fact benefit from trying to be like Watchmen, because all the questions Watchmen raises about the ethics of power are also just.... like.... the most interesting storytelling hooks if you want to write a cape thing with real themes. They’re the kind of stories we’d have gotten years prior naturally if not for the CCA boondoggle. Admittedly it kinda creates a different problem where most “good” cape media is inescapably self-referential and draws on picking apart the conventions of a 60-70-year old canon that hasn’t been in wide circulation in years. But! I also think there’s a stronger obligation there to keep superhero fans in check- if your superhero thing isn’t making the reader question the ethics of violence and individual heroism in the face of systemic injustice, you wind up with people who unironically think Frank Castle is a role model to be emulated. We all know that guy. Children’s media doesn’t really produce that guy the same way, although it can draw them in from other corners. Superhero media often needs to be self-critical in a way children’s cartoons don’t always have to be.

[marcemello]

Anne’s Grief

tImerry christmas and happy frogidays! I was going to disappear for the rest of winter break but then I realized that I have NOTHING to do other than work, so I figured I’d do something that I enjoy at least.

 disclaimer, 1. I’m going to be talking about death and covid-19 in this, but not in depth (this isnt a vent, I’m just mentioning these things to support my point here) 2. amphibia’s helped me out a lot, so I AM going to be biased here. might as well just say it. 3. don’t expect me to add anything new to this conversation, this is just my perspective on things. 

I don’t see the argument that anne’s grief should be betrayed better a lot, but I have seen it. based on my own experiences, anne’s reaction to all the stuff that went down in true colors is pretty realistic and isn’t out of character for her at all. after reunion, we just saw a little about how anne wasn’t taking the events of toad tower well at all, but she clearly wasn’t going to talk about it. at the end of hopping mall anne let her guard down (about missing her mom, not about reunion) but didn’t even let herself cry for long. she’s been hiding her feelings for the whole show! it makes perfect sense to me that she’d continue to do so in season 3. the more canon-supported reason is that anne already feels like she’s a burden on the plantars during the road trip and her time in newtopia, so she wouldn’t want to bother her with her own feelings. it’s probably also just that those feelings are a lot to deal with, I mean your best friend betraying you and falling to her possible death after a tense swordfight is a lot for a kid to process, and so is being stuck in a whole nother DIMENSION from your family. jeez. 

so yeah. anne compartmentalizing is already canon and confirmed by an interview from matt as well. so her doing that with marcy isn’t that much of a stretch at all. everyone grieves differently! when I lost my grandfather, i didn’t see it for myself, but when I got the news I started laughing and asked my mom if she was joking. I didn’t cry until about a month later, and it wasn’t sobs, just tears. it was during quarantine so I wasn’t with my support system like anne was, but I think the connection is still there for me. sometime death/traumatic events don’t really settle in until some time’s passed. despite what people think of SU future, it’s still a good example in my opinion. it’s been a while since I’ve watched it, but I think at least 3 years passed since the events of change your mind? anyway, steven’s trauma didn’t kick in right after everything had happened, it took him some time to realize that what happened to him wasn’t okay. I just think it’s the same with anne. 

and yknow maybe anne won’t even get to go through the whole usual stages cause MARCY ISN’T EVEN DEAD. you could think of the whole marcy tank thing as marcy dying and being revived because of what andrias said about conquering death in yunan and olivia, or you could just go with marcy being on the brink of death and then getting healed (I’m going with the first one) either way marcy’s alive because of supernatural causes and anne should have no reason other than amphibia being a whole other dimension to think marcy’s just cool and alive. but I guess you could also think of it as anne just being connected with marcy (and sasha) cause of the gems, but I don’t know about that one because marcy and sasha don’t have their gem powers anymore. it’d be pretty funny if anne accepted marcy as dead and then BOOM she’s back actually and possessed by an ancient amphibian hivemind!

point is, anne’s reaction (or lack of one) to marcy’s death isn’t very out of place. her avoiding all mention of her until recently might be intentional, but who knows. 

this ended up longer than I wanted to be but it was fun writing this, also I might post again before new years but if I dont, happy 2022! the passage of time is imminent

[catnippackets]

thinking about Spinel again. the poor thing was literally created to be a personal entertainer, obviously didnt know how to socialize with people properly because of this programming, was abandoned and only realized what happened after 6000 years had gone by, and was so traumatized by it that it caused her to reform

how much time passed between Steven’s broadcast and Spinel’s arrival to Earth? did she really only have under ten minutes to process this? how little did SHE know of the complexity of other life forms? at the climax of the movie she says “I came here to take out my anger on a bunch of strangers” and yet at the beginning it was clear that she was targeting Steven specifically, and came with the intent of taking away his friends just like she had lost Pink Diamond all those years ago

but then at the end she comes to the realization herself that what she had done was wrong. maybe Steven’s words really did get through to her after all, but I thought it was really cool that she was the one to snap herself out of it, going from fury, to self loathing, to sadness, and then finally asking herself “what am I doing? why do I wanna hurt you so bad? I’m supposed to be your friend. I just wanna be your friend.”

I’ve definitely been in the same position as Steven before, where someone I didn’t really like or know well latched themselves onto me and seemed oblivious to the fact that I didn’t want them around, and it’s really awkward and uncomfortable. so I definitely get how everybody felt with OG Spinel around.

but thinking deeper about it, this wasn’t just a person who wanted a friend and didn’t have the social understanding to realize they were coming on too strong and making people uncomfortable. this was a gem who was literally created to be someone’s friend. which, obviously, doesn’t just work like that, because people have different personalities, and not everybody is going to be friendship-compatible with everyone else. if she was created or chosen specifically with Pink in mind, then the diamonds would’ve wanted her to be silly and ridiculous because they would assume that’s just what Pink would want, and that would be that. Remember, this was 6000 years ago, long before ANY of the diamonds had realized how complex other gems and lifeforms are. it was very wrong of them, but they literally didnt know that Spinel had the option to even be her own person with her own thoughts and feelings.

all Spinel KNOWS is that she’s supposed to be Pink’s friend, and then after being hit with the rejuvenator, Steven’s friend, but I don’t think she knows how to be a true friend because she wasn’t created that way. she was simply created for entertainment. when she’s heart-haired and giggly she’s constantly making jokes and quips and trying to make Steven laugh, but even though he was clearly upset the whole time she was around, she didn’t seem to realize it. she never tried to get to the heart of his problems and help solve them with care, she only ever tried to sugarcoat things and make him laugh. because she wasn’t created to be a TRUE friend. a true friend who will talk to you, and get to know you, and know things about you, your likes and dislikes, what you do for fun, how to really cheer you up when you’re sad, and, most importantly, how to get serious and help you when you’re struggling. she literally doesn’t know how bc she was only meant to be someone who makes people laugh, which is only a small part of what friendship is.

and at the end of the movie, she shows that she WANTS to understand what true friendship is. she wants to go beyond her programming and be someone’s TRUE friend, not just someone who will entertain you and make you laugh. and she even realizes that after all she and Steven have been through, they’re incompatible as friends (or at least they are the way she is now). she grows!!

I’m not sure how well she’ll progress if she’s with the diamonds (and by extension, the pearls), since surely they will want her around for the same entertainment purposes that they wanted for Pink, but it’s a start! she’ll learn to ask what’s wrong when she sees they’re upset, she’ll learn to actually take notice of things that they like rather than just using silly gimmicks to get a laugh out of them, and maybe she’ll finally start making friends for real

[blue-maiden4]

Together Forever and Growing Pains

I'M IN LEGIT PAIN RIGHT NOW.

MY POOR BOY 😭😭

Anyways I'm gonna leave my thoughts on these episodes down here so spoilers right ahead:

-First of all: Ruby, Sapphire I know you tried to help, but dear Arceus proposing at the age of 16 IS NOT A GOOD IDEA AT ALL.

-Can we appreciate how handsome Steven looks on that shirt and suit? Damn he looks good on it 👀 (If he weren’t a minor I would marry him, but my heart already belongs to Leon so nevermind, pretend I said nothing)

-Rather than saying a straight 'no', Connie said 'not now', AND HONESTLY THAT'S SO SWEET AND IM DYING. And Steven's heartbroken face DESTROYED ME. I've never experienced such feeling but I can imagine how much it hurts. I really appreciate how Connie handled the situation in such a mature way, like she wanted to talk out things first and such. She is without a doubt Steven's soul mate ❤️.

-Watching Steven just laying on the sand while crying broke my heart in a million pieces, I felt your pain Steven, and it sucks that you have to go through this when you’re dealing with some heavy issues right now.💔

-"There isn't a future where you didn't proposed" I'm double dead now, the fact that no matter which time line they're on, Steven would propose to Connie. My heart 😭.

-Also I've seen some people asking why Steven is so worried of Connie leaving, like, he can just go visit her with Lion's help, but remember he can do the same with Lars and he acted the same way, so despite being able to visit them, the whole feeling that he's getting left behind is what is triggering these kind of reaction (or at least that's what I think).

-And remember, no matter how much you love a person, do not propose to them at the age of 16 (sorry I had to this xd) 

Okay now moving onto Growing Pains aka the episode that destroyed me physically and emotionally:

-BOI Where do I even start with this one? Okay first, seeing Steven all depressed over Connie's rejection and just eating ice cream and all kinds of sweets as a coping mechanism hits home. And this is something people do in real life when they are going through a heartbreak. Poor boy he needs a hug. 

-I would be lying if I said I didn’t scremaed the moment his body started growing our of nowhere, HOLY SHIT THE CORRUPTION THEORY IS SLOWLY BECOMING A REALITY. LIKE THAT SHIT STARTED AS SOME SORT OF JOKE, IT AIN’T FUNNY ANYMORE 😰.

-Connie being concerned about Steven and convicing him to see a doctor is the best thing ever. FINALLY SOMEONE THAT MAKES HIM SEEK HELP (Sort of)

-Okay, the fact Steven’s bones are fractured or broken is really worrying. Like, the only reason this kid isn’t dead is because of his healing powers is really messed up, and if we remember what happened in CYM, it makes sense why he was so weak and nearly dying, it was ‘cause his body was so damaged on the inside and the only things keeping together was his own gem half.

Seriously just look at all those cracks in his bones

-Also, the way Dr. Maheswaran explained how his body was constantly healing, yet it looked that mentally he hasn’t healed, that hit me like a truck. It also reminded of Pink Pearl, her gem showed no signs of damage, yet that crack on her eye was mostly due to the trauma she still had.

-The fact Steven is having the same side effect is just so....AGH I can’t even describe it, there’s no words that can say it.Seriously, he’s been through some heavy stuff since he was 13, with being so close to dying a million times, seeing loved ones die in front of him, his self doubt and existencial crisis due to Pink’s/Rose’s mistakes. That’s some serious and heavy shit, that surely was to have some effect on Steven at some point.

He’s been trying so hard to just forget about it and move on, but it’s not that simple. Those experiences are somthing that will haunt him forever until he adresses them properly. Also, the fact he tended to bottle up his emotions as a kid had also a role in all of this, he had to deal with this stuff on his own, he couldn’t talk to anyone about it, ‘cause he didn’t knew what else to do without becoming a burden.

-”What you haven’t told her?!” 

DUDE, YOU SERIOUSLY EXPECTED CONNIE TO TELL HER MOM HOW YOU FRICKING PROPOSED TO HER? COME ONE, SHE IS OBVIOUSLY NOT GONNA TELL HER, SHE WOULD HAVE FREAK OUT AT THE IDEA OF 16/15 YEAR OLDS GETTING MARRIED FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE.

-Bruh, the moment he was starting to tear up, due to all the stress and pressure he was feeling at that moment. And the way he snapped out at Connie....oof, like I don’t blame him at all, but it broke my heart. The pain he was feeling at the moment...god...😭😭😭.

-Greg getting in there and comforting him, that’s what made me cry, the whole thing that Steven’s feeling like he’s always about to die, and how he’s supposed to be happy now that everyone is saved but just can’t....it hurted....a lot. 

-And my respect and love for Connie and her mom increased here, not only she called the only person that could calm him down/help him, but they also treated Steven in way as to not alter him more and without judging. Seriously, I’m surprised Dr. Maheswaran, wasn’t like WTF the moment Steven started listing all of his traumatic experiences, instead she only explained how all of this gem stuff he’s been involved with has caused him so serious trauma.

-Now let me just say, that even though it is mostly th CG and Greg (to some degree, like the dude tried his best), we have to remember that the Gems have no idea about how a human body works, let alone how a mind of a person works. And it’s true that it wasn’t a good idea for Steven to move in with the Gems at such a young age, heck Greg is his father, he is supposed to take care of Steven and such, but considering the circumstances and that Steven is half-gem, he probably thought it was for the best, as he couldn’t teach him about gem stuff, probably the CG convinced him about this. Now, with the whole ‘they should have noticed or figured out something was wrong with Steven’, let me tell you one thing: that’s not how it works. Sure a parent should be able to tell when there’s something wrong their kid, but considering Steven became so dang good at avoiding the subject and bottling up his emotions (keeping them to himself), it practically impossible to tell when something is wrong. Parents aren’t physics, they can’t read our minds, so unless we are the ones that address the issue, there’s no other way they can’t find out about our problems. And that’s what happens in Steven’s case, and since they didn’t wanted to push him to talk about it, well, that makes it harder.

CONCLUSION: 

THIS TWO EPS DESTROYED ME, SERIOUSLY THEY LEFT ME IN LITERAL PAIN.

I was expecting them to make me cry, but dear lord, they were such heavy episodes, they even suprassed Prickly Pair, which is an episode that also messed up with my emotions. But these two made me cry. They just hit so close to me.

I’m not sure I’m gonna survive til the finale (really one of the next week eps is called Fragments, and that doesn’t give me any good vibes)

NOW IF YOU’LL EXCUSE ME, I WILL GO CRY IN A CORNER WHILE CURLED UP IN A BALL AS I LISTEN TO DEPRESSING MUSIC CAUSE I DON’T KNOW OF ANOTHER WAY TO COPE WITH THE PAIN.

[kittensinsocks24]

Spinel is one of the best examples of trauma and emotional parental figure abuse I’ve seen in media: an essay nobody asked for

As some may know, the television film special for Steven Universe, appropriately enough titled Steven Universe: The Movie premiered on Cartoon Network last night after being announced one year ago at SDCC. It was here where we would get our first glance at the villain of the film, who we would come to find out upon release is named Spinel. 

I as well watched this stephen university moving picture show. And, despite my initial jokes about “this bendy-and-the-ink-machine lookin’ ass bubblegum bitch”, by the time the credits rolled I looked like a drowned cat, and had wept real tears of pain over this poor, poor strawberry shortcake clown infant. But why? Why was I openly sobbing over a literal one-braincell jester girl with the color palette of magenta printer ink? Then it hit me: Spinel is many things, but she is, most importantly, a great mirror. A mirror for me, and any and all other victims of being taken advantage of by somebody you trust, look up to, and admire, most often than not, parents. 

TW: Spoilers below for Steven Universe: The Movie as well as discussion of abusive guardians, short mentions of physical abuse, and discussion of  emotional manipulation

While it’s true that Spinel is self-proclaimed to have been Pink’s “best friend”, I feel that to a more obvious extent she is coded to have had a parental, one-sided-admiration relationship with Pink. This is confirmed to me by her obvious youthful, playful and childlike behavior in her original state, her clinginess to the person she respects, and most importantly, her unquestioning belief in Pink Diamond’s love and belief in her best interests, despite obvious signals otherwise to an outsider. 

Let’s start at the beginning: Past Spinel is, self-described, “innocent, loving, .....stupid.” Spinel was created, metaphorically and physically, to keep Pink Diamond happy and entertained. Her default state was to naturally seek Pink’s approval, to earn her admiration and joy, similar to how most often a child’s first and prevailing desire is to earn their parent’s approval and love. Despite it not being Spinel’s fault that Pink decided to leave her there with the false hope of her returning, Spinel inherently blames her own naivety and desire for Pink’s love for her current predicament. Maybe if she hadn’t been so trusting, had questioned what Pink was making her do, she wouldn’t have been alone all those years. That’s a feeling I think most trauma victims have looking back at their past selves and childhood, something that further drew me to Spinel’s arc as a metaphor for such. 

“And then she smiled, that’s what I’m after: the smile in her eyes, the sound of her laughter.” 

This is a situation I believe most if not all children of emotionally and/or physically abusive parents can relate to. The tale of an abusive parental relationship often starts off with a parent either having a child they weren’t emotionally mature enough to raise, or, more relevant in Pink’s case, “having” a child for selfish reasons of personal entertainment, or to fill a void in their lives somehow, realizing only too late the independent personhood of their new “toy” outside of them. 

I’ve seen some say that Spinel was understandably left behind because she is shown throughout to be “clingy” and “annoying”, but you know who else frequently has those traits? Children. Especially children before they emotionally mature like Spinel does after her revelation about Pink. I can assure you for a fact that I was a very annoying child. Does that make it right that my parent emotionally withdrew after I was no longer pleasing or entertaining to them? Does that make it right that they hit me? No. 

When Pink first “had” Spinel it’s clear that she genuinely enjoyed her company. Most toxic relationships have this sort of “honeymoon” phase, a time before things were so bad that the victim will often wish to go back to, not unlike Spinel. Even though Pink’s later actions erase any goodwill towards Spinel and make it clear that even in joyful times she never really cared for her, as somebody scarred by trauma Spinel inherently longs to go back to these days even if Pink was not actually as happy or good as she remembers. 

Later on, we as the audience, privy to more knowledge, can see that Pink has grown irritated/bored with Spinel. But Spinel, much like a child, isn’t aware of this. Spinel loves and is devoted to Pink, and if Pink is happy, she is happy for her. Her trust in Pink loving her back and unwavering confidence in her actions blinds her to what is coming next. “Every day was so much fun! At least.... that’s what I thought.....” She even is so confident that Pink loves her back that she is 100% positive Pink will take her along to Earth. 

“I was so excited! A whole new place to play!” 

Pink instructs Spinel to stay put in the garden and not follow her, lying straight to Spinel’s openly trusting face that this request is the start of a “game”. Spinel, again only seeking nothing but the love and admiration of her pseudo-parental figure/person she obviously admires, does so without question. In her mind so full of love and genuine belief that Pink would never do something wrong to her, she never even questions that this may not be a game, that Pink is seeking to dispose of her, or that Pink may not return. Spinel takes Pink fully at her word, and thus waits, and waits, for 6000 years. 

At first, Spinel remains ever the optimist she always is, entrusting that despite the obvious gap in time that Pink, having her best interests in mind, will come back to love and play with her. 

As literal years go by, we can see that despite her best efforts the wait for Pink to “come around” (physically, but also emotionally if we view this as a metaphor) has taken a toll on Spinel. She’s visibly weathered, with tired eyes and a weaker smile. However even though this is clearly not good for her she continues to believe that, yes, Pink does love her and would never hurt her! She will come back! 

Worst of all, and something even more stinging when looked at through the lens of an abuse metaphor, is Spinel’s line during this part of the song:

“Happily wondering, night after night, is this how it works? Am I doing it right?”

Annnnnnd this is where the waterworks really burst for me, folks. Spinel has begun questioning Pink’s actions, but her continued belief that Pink, again, would only do the best for her makes it so Spinel has begun, to some extent, to blame herself for how long it’s taken for Pink to return. Spinel feels perhaps she did something to displease Pink, that she messed up their “game” somehow, and this is why Pink has not returned to love her. She must strive and continue to be the best at this “game” or she is to blame for Pink not wanting to play with her. It’s a powerfully impactful line, but even worse for any child who went through a similar trial-and-error, self-deprecating process of trying to earn their parent’s unachievable love through grades, performance, or going above-and-beyond in any other sort of field. 

Spinel is so desperate to finally get Pink’s love “back” that even though it is straining her mentally and (albeit to a lesser extent) physically, she will continue to do whatever Pink asked and even doubt herself and her ability to do things right if it means even a sliver of potential attention down the line.

Then, Spinel has a watershed moment most every child of an abusive guardian will have: she realizes she’s been abused. Through Steven’s broadcast, Spinel indirectly learns two things: 1, Pink is dead, has been dead, and was never intending on coming back for her even after all of Spinel’s silent years of devotion and trust, and 2, Pink proceeded to give others the love and attention Spinel could never earn despite all she did immediately after moving on and leaving Spinel for dead. 

It is in this moment that Spinel not only physically “snaps” and changes into her much more threatening form seen in Act 1, but that she also breaks. 

Spinel entertained and loved Pink for who knows how long before she disappeared, and even in her absence and the absence of love and affection continued to trust and care for her, and Pink instead simply chose to devote herself to new people, a new place, without them even having to earn her like Spinel did? It’s more than unfair, it rocks Spinel’s worldview.

Emotionally, the revelation that the person she adored, loved, trusted and respected and that she naturally looked up to not only did not care for her but actively chose to love others and ignore her despite all the mentally-taxing devotion Spinel gave her is more than she can bear. 

“You keep on turning pages, for people who don’t care, people who don’t care about you. And still it takes you ages to see that no one’s there, see that no one’s there, see that no one’s there. Everyone’s gone on without you.” 

Spinel transforms, a transformation symbolic of the venom and bile of her trauma. Despite her cocky attitude and speech about her “new look” upon initially showing up with her injector, Spinel notably is not proud of her new form. She views herself as broken. 

Scarred beyond repair by Pink’s abandonment and actions. Something too messed up and warped to love, unworthy of affection and friendship.

Traumatized.

I’ve never met another person traumatized by parental abuse who didn’t also feel like they were too far gone. A monster, transformed and shaped into something horrible by their abuser’s actions.  

“All that stuff’s easy for you to say! When you change, you change for the better! When I change, I change for the WORSE! I used to just be not good enough, not good enough for Pink,- but NOW, I’m not GOOD AT ALL!” 

~                                 ~                                       ~

“Spinel, you’ve met The Diamonds before, right?”

“Yeah, but.... (notably hesitant) they’ve never seen me like this.” 

With Pink gone, Spinel has nobody direct to confront about her traumas. Without any better coping mechanisms, Spinel’s only desire is to lash out at somebody, anybody for her pain. She specifically chooses Earth and The Crystal Gems for having been the objects of the affection Pink never gave her, despite not actually having a personal relationship with them. 

“Y’know, I came here to take my anger out on a bunch of strangers, [...]”

When I first wisened up to the fact that what my parent did wasn’t normal, wasn’t something I should have gone through as an innocent child, I lashed out at any and everybody I felt was involved in some way. My father for never being around when it happened, never stopping her when it did, never getting her help, never calling CPS. My brother for never having to deal with her wrath, for always raising the bar with his good grades, making it feel harder and harder to earn the love I felt like I had to have.

Spinel’s maladaptive way of handling the situation is an all-too-common chapter in the life of the abused, and something that further strengthens the connection her arc has to real life people in similar situations.

When Steven confronts her that this isn’t the way to handle things, Spinel doesn’t see any other way. She doesn’t feel like she can trust anybody again, and doesn’t feel herself worthy of love. During “Found”, she’s noticeably hesitant and even resistive to Steven’s assurance that she’ll find somebody who truly does love her one day, too scarred by Pink’s deception to open herself up to the idea of healing.

Even when she does, it’s notably a delicate process. After turning off the injector, her own insecurity and trust issues due to her traumatic incident leads her, without any real evidence, to assume that Steven and the Gems value her as little as Pink did. She is both afraid of what she has become, again feeling she is too traumatized to be accepted and loved, and also afraid that they will leave her as easily and quickly as her abuser. 

After failing to ever earn Pink’s love fully and the physical and emotional transformation her trauma has had on her, Spinel doesn’t genuinely believe anybody could ever want her company ever again. 

“I’m the source of all your problems. Don’t pretend you want me here.  What’s your plan for me, huh? Ya gonna put me somewhere? Gonna - LEAVE me somewhere? Gonna LEAVE ME ALONE?”

However, after the emotional catharsis of lashing out, sharing her traumas with Steven, and then spiraling into another emotional rage over what happened to her, Spinel, having begun to process her trauma, realizes that her hurting those only vaguely, tangentially related to her abuser and situation will do nothing to heal the pain inside her, and, more importantly, realizes that doing this is only pushing people away from her and failing to allow herself to open up to loving again. 

And, of course, this is via a breakdown complete with agony-driven laughter, because Rebecca loves rendering me bald and taking an icepick to my similarly traumatized heart.

“(cracking with emotion)....What am I doing? Why do I want to hurt you so bad? I’m supposed to be a friend. .....I just want to be a friend.”

As low of a point as this is for Spinel emotionally, it shows that she has begun the slow but ultimately fulfilling process of healing. This new path continues in her next scene, where she opens herself up to The Diamonds with Steven’s coaxing, despite the person who spurned her having been a Diamond herself (this also easily could be viewed as a metaphor for opening yourself up to trusting mentoring relationships again and finding a healthy new parental relationship in someone either non-blood-related or in other members of your family). 

In probably the most heart-wrenching scene of the movie for me, as The Diamonds reprise their song about opening their hearts up to a new member of their family (this also furthers my argument of spinel = child figure to Pink, considering the last person the trio sung this to was Pink’s literal biological son), Spinel sings part of Found again, finally believing Steven’s statement that she will love again, as she connects and converses with people who genuinely like her despite all she’s been through and become. 

Spinel learns and accepts, for the first time in the movie, that she is worthy of love, and is not too broken or changed by her trauma to receive it. 

And so I cried like the winner of a horseradish paste eating contest. 

In summary, to me, and I’m more than sure to other experiencers of childhood emotional and/or physical abuse at the hands of somebody they trusted, Spinel is one of the best media representations of the complex moods, highs and lows, and experiences of going through, repressing, and processing trauma. Not only that, but unlike some other characters I can think of, Spinel gets a hopeful ending. She’s not so warped and broken that the writers deemed her too far gone and thus only worthy of killing off. No. Spinel is a trauma victim who goes through a dark period of coping in negative ways, but then comes out the other side ready to open herself back up to the idea of healing and moving on from her trauma and abuser. Despite all her baggage and scars, the movie assures us Spinel is just as worthy of a happy ending as any other person. 

And I don’t think I’m alone in saying that if MY pained ass at the beginning of my traumatic processing years ago had seen that I could, that I CAN be okay despite it, that it would have meant so much to me. 

And even though I’m still still learning to love again myself, I think deep down all victims hope we can become our own Spinel someday. 

Somewhere.

Somehow.

We’ll love again. 

TL;DR Rebecca Sugar wrote one of the best arcs about abuse on television ever and its star was a rubberhose baby who sounds like Betty Boop and whos shoes make the spongebob walk cycle noise sample and thats why you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. 

[tordcallout]

callout for @nyadmin

this callout is best read on desktop.

this callout contains: racefaking, blackfacing/brownfacing, pedophilia, incest, grooming, systemfaking, antisemitism, nazism, cult jokes, and more.

his current url is nyadmin. his twitter is adminpowers. his discord is ROMY O NO#6477. click here for a list of past names. click here for a list of his past urls. his other blogs are: amblyopic, racefakery, todayphobe, exadmin, askmychampion, and supercrushhighschool.

tords past callouts: one, two, three.

the rest of the callout is under the cut.

racefaking:

tord claims his mom is white and native and that his father is half black and half white. people who have known tord irl in the past say that his dad is not half black and those who’ve known him online say tord has never mentioned it before or joined in when they discussed issues related to being black. he also refuses to ask his dad for any photos of his grandmother who he says is black.

in the past tord has tried to claim that he doesn’t benefit from white passing privilege despite being extremely pale.

photos of his parents found on facebook show that neither his mom or dad have anything resembling ethnic features. his mom’s hair is dyed blond but regardless they both have basic white features:

below is proof that the woman shown is tords mom:

tords own blood related brother, felix, claims he doesn’t know where tord is getting their black heritage from:

below is a screenshot of an anon on mikas blog asking if tord has ever said the n word in front of him:

on 8/23/18, tord made this post. in the post he says this:

if it isn’t clear, he basically just said that he is white.

there’s also this screenshot from an older blog of his:

and if that wasn’t enough proof that tord’s racefaking he has also done both blackface and brownface. however, before we get to that here’s some more:

tord wondering if he could participate in the black men smiling tag and blackout.

now for the moment you’ve all been waiting for. tords blackface and brownface.

the first image is the brownface, the second is blackface.

on the left tord has obviously edited his skin to appear darker. in his blackface cosplay he claimed he wasn’t actually painted black and that the snapchat filters were making him darker. this is clearly a lie considering nearly all snapchat filters lighten your skin and this filter is no exception:

here is the filter applied to a white person, and as you can see, her skin is smoothed out but it is no where near dark the way tord appears in his selfie.

adding onto this, if you look closely at tords selfie you can tell the outside of his lips have a very pale ring around it. this is obviously because he didnt do very well coloring in his skin. you can also tell there is a grainy texture on tords skin but not anywhere else in this image, more evidence the image was edited.

more info on the blackface cosplay selfie can be read here and here.

you must either be on desktop or reading this post through a chrome browser to view this part, apologies. in these posts tord has a conversation with someone named frost about his callouts and being mixed. please keep in mind that the conversation in that link took place on may 7th of 2018. meaning, that in the past tord agreed to stop claiming to be mixed black and native but then threw that all out the window and began to reclaim it again.

grooming, incest, and pedophilia:

i was very hesitant to include this however, many people have said they feel the same way about this so it felt important enough to have its own part. multiple people believe that the relationship between tord and his brother felix is extremely inappropriate. the way he interacts with his brother is really something he needs to re-evaluate.

this isn’t meant to be about kin drama or anything of the sort, i’m only stating this because of the way tord and felix take kin so seriously. he and felix often match kins which isn’t an issue in itself, however, the only kins they typically match are those of which have a canon romantic relationship; and if not canon tord will still tag felix in ship art of their kins, as seen here. 

when you visit the op of that post, you will see that it is tagged as both “shipsworld” and “tordedd”. the art is very obviously ship art anyways.

tord is obviously one of his main ids, so to tag your own sibling in ship art of your main id with one of theirs seems incredibly off. not to mention the very large age gap between tord and felix in the first place.

this isn’t a recent thing of theirs either, they’ve been doing this for years now. couples they’ve kinmatched have been: greg and rose from steven universe, eliza and alexander from hamilton, and penny and billy from dr. horribles sing a-long blog. along with tord and edd from eddsworld and romeo/admin and jesse from minecraft story mode who are not canonly dating. there are most likely even more than those listed above.

there aren’t screenshots of them both being kin with these characters, but the hamilton one isn’t hard to believe considering tords main id used to be alexander hamilton from the hamilton musical.

to add onto this, felix apparently had a set of ocs and a persona oc at one point. his oc skit, was to represent himself, and his oc aiko, was implied to be skits romantic interest.

here is a photo of skit, as you can see skit represents felix. you can also clearly see that aiko is labeled as skits “enemy and crush”, confirming that these two characters are supposed to have a sort of romantic relationship.

now here is a photo of aiko. as you can see from the relationship box, it is 100% that skit and aiko are supposed to be in a romantic relationship or something similar to that.

now the reason this i’m telling you all of this is because of on tords old deviantart, he has a folder of art of his kins. in that folder you could find images of skit and aiko along with one of aiko on her own, implying that tord kins her.

to make things even weirder, the photos added to this folder of skit and aiko are incredibly romantic in nature, hugs with hearts around them and a photo where the two of them are basically kissing with a heart above the two. the folder also includes more romantic tordedd art as well.

back to their matching kins however, as stated before, tord and felix kinmatch jesse and romeo/admin from minecraft story mode. i know little to nothing about this game, however, i do know that tord ships these two characters together. felix kins jesse and tord kins romeo. 

UPDATE: i have been informed that the ages previously listed here were a mcsm fans headcanon ages for the characters and that they do not have canonical ages. however, it does prove that there are fans that would see the ship as a pedophilic one due to hcs of romeo being 30+ and jesse being >20.

now, here is a disgusting screenshot of tord saying he’s going to show his brother porn. i’m sure this was meant to be taken as a joke but i find it highly disturbing due to the fact that at the time of this screenshot being taken felix would only be 12 years old and tord would’ve been 16 years old.

i am in no way trying to say tord is a full on pedophile, not am i accusing him of having romantic or sexual feelings for his brother, however, i am saying the way he interacts with his brother is not okay and that he needs to learn how to separate friend interaction from sibling interaction.

cult jokes:

tord previously had a cult joke in his about: “mixed but i drank the racefaker koolaid”. when told about this, he refused to remove the joke and tried to hide it under the guise of the phrase being “aave” (his explaination was that black people like to drink koolaid). he was messaged by someone on his blog @/racefakery who asked for him to remove the joke from his about, as it is incredibly insensitive to joke about something like that where everyone can see.

in the conversation, tord doesn’t take the person who messaged him seriously at all and says “i don’t see why i should care?” about cult victims. i don’t think i have to explain how horrible and insensitive that is to say.

the joke continued to stay in his about for nearly a month after this conversation. on top of that, tord never apologized nor admitted that cult jokes are just as serious as jokes as any other traumatizing kind of event.

UPDATE: after doing a little digging, i found an older blog of his. in the links of this blog there is this: “thanks for reading and welcome to the lonely hearts cult” at the end of his links. so there’s another cult joke made by tord.

nazism:

tord has had multiple accounts of him being antisemetic, however, for this we are going to focus on the fact that tord is kin with habit and kinned eridan.

archive of this page.

habit from everymanhybrid is a canonical nazi. this was displayed on tords “alters” blog. now even if were going to pretend tord is a system here, unless tord is comfortable with antisemitism there is no reason for his “alter” to kin a nazi. all alters share similarities with their hosts, this mainly includes moral standpoints, saying tords “alter” is okay with kinning a nazi but not tord is the same as saying you can have one alter be a terf but the host isn’t. it isn’t simply isn’t possible. anyways, here’s evidence of habit being a nazi:

the person he claimed to have possessed was josef mengele. i don’t want to repeat the things he did but you can google it if you’d really like to know of it.

on top of habit being a nazi, here is a list of his “hobbies” & crimes he’s commit:

as for eridan, his main goal from what i’ve been told was to “wipe out the landwellers”, as he is a “seadweller”. his whole character is a metaphot for nazism, eridan being hitler and the “landwellers” being jewish people. if you want more info on this it can be found here. not sure why you would though.

tord was also briefly friends with ethan, a known nazi & rapist, for a while. there’s a lot of screenshots and information on that. you can read it on this google doc.

systemfaking:

this one isn’t going to take very long to explain because of how blatantly obvious it is but tord is systemfaking. from what i and quite a few others can tell, one of the biggest implications is that tords “alters” would reblog one anothers posts and talk to each other via the posts. there a many reasons this makes no sense:

if his alters are conscious enough to have their own blogs and set up themes similar to tords, why do they need to reblog one another’s posts to communicate? at that point, they should be able to speak via headspace.

these posts of his alters interacting with each other are made just seconds apart from each other, it is literally impossible for anyone to shift this fast, the average shifting time is 5-15 minutes. however, these posts aren’t even made a full minute apart from one another.

this is a post where tords “alters” habit and cora are interacting on a post.

if you look into the source code of these two posts you will find that they were made literally not even a full two minutes apart from one another. the original was posted at 8:10:46 and coras was posted at 8:11:10. like i already stated, this isn’t possible in systems.

tord and his “alter” gem do this again. gems first reblog of this post was at 17:51:49. and their second reblog of the post was at  17:53:48. under 5 minutes apart from one another, meaning tords reblog must’ve been around 17:52. but it just isn’t possible either way.

you may think that this is all that tord has done, but it really isn’t. despite all the information in this callout there is still a lot here that isn’t shown. this was thrown together as a sort of “birthday gift” for tord. i hope you appreciate your gift, tord.

[ahsterism-a]

𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑹𝑨𝑪𝑻𝑬𝑹 𝑺𝑯𝑬𝑬𝑻.

repost,  don’t reblog

BASICS.

full name.   steven quartz cutie-pie demayo diamond universe ( it’s on his medical papers )  pronunciation.   stee-ven uni-verse ( im not doing that whole thing ) nickname.  schtu-ball, steve-o ( and various other versions with “steve” ), rose, pink gender.  male (he/him) height.  5′6″ age.  16/17 ( suf confuses me and i’m too lazy to make an actual decision whoops ) zodiac.   leo spoken languages.  english

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS.

hair color.   dark brown eye color.   black skin tone.     pale  body type.   thicker, stocky build-- has the ability to shapeshift/alter his form, which has recently manifested in magic swelling that is uncontrollably triggered   accent.  american  voice.   has grown deeper than before as he has physically aged, still tends to reach a higher pitch sometimes, or can grow even deeper typically with anger/shapeshifting. amazing singing voice.  dominant hand.  right ( i think most recently shown when he draws in In Dreams ), however can work with both posture.   typically upright/mostly straight, grows slouchier depending on emotions scars.   no visible external scars due to his abilities healing all of his injuries. however, there is a visible history of numerous fractures/breaks across his skeleton, which manifest in jagged lines where the injuries took place.  tattoos.   NA birthmarks.  NA most noticeable feature(s).   gem embedded in his naval, pink glow

CHILDHOOD.

place of birth.  beach city, delmarva hometown.    beach city birth weight.   ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ birth height.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ manner of birth.  steven was mostly born naturally, given his organic half. however, upon giving birth to him, his mother died when she passed her gem half onto him. he acquired her gem and powers as a result.  first words.   definitely something to do with greg (dad/dada/etc) siblings.  none parents.  greg universe, rose quartz/pink diamond  parental involvement.  rose died when steven was created, which obviously resulted in her absence for his entire life. greg primarily raised steven from his birth until he moved in with garnet, amethyst, and pearl. throughout his younger years, steven lived in the van with greg, and did not go to school, see a doctor, or live the typical life of a human child, however greg was very involved in raising steven, only backing out when things had to do with “gem stuff.” garnet, amethyst, and pearl also served as steven’s guardians, and were protective of him/involved in his life, but also when he was younger, frequently left him behind while going on missions because he was not ready.  

ADULT LIFE.

occupation.   crystal gem, became the “savior of the universe” following change your mind. spent two years back and forth from earth, homeworld, and various planets helping to liberate colonies and bring upon era 3. also involved in the making of little homeworld, and ran little homeschool up until dropping the position after the off colors’ graduation. while running the school, he was in charge of introducing the new, uncorrupted gems to it, healing any cracked gems, managing various lessons/schedules, etc.  close friends / family.  greg universe, rose quartz, garnet, amethyst, pearl, connie maheswaran, lapis, peridot, other crystal gems ( has befriended many gems and people in beach city, but is drifting away from most of these relationships ) relationship status.   single, with a big very obvious crush on connie financial status.  following mr. greg, where his dad was granted a large sum of money, they have had a stable, high financial status driver’s license.  he drives frequently, however he does not have a license due to being undocumented criminal record.  was previously believed to be rose quartz by all of homeworld, which led to an official accusation of shattering pink diamond, and getting put on trial before blue and yellow diamond. he managed to escape, but maintained this record. once the truth was revealed that rose and pink were the same person, he was absolved of this charge. other than that, while not recorded ( and reversed ), he shattered jasper.  vices.   steven tends to constantly look for others’ problems to solve, as a result of constantly having to fix things for everyone else and not knowing who he is without something to fix, which can lead towards him being incredibly pushy with it and ultimately negatively affecting the situation. after countless traumatic experiences that he repressed for years, he struggles with controlling his anger, and has grown more prone to outbursts-- this has led to endangering himself or others with his newfound destructive powers. he frequently refuses help and pushes himself away from people, now believing that he will end up hurting them. 

MISCELLANEOUS.

character’s theme song.    i can’t choose just take my whole playlist hobbies to pass time.   music ( singing/playing various instruments ), video games, tv, movies mental illnesses.   C-PTSD due to ongoing childhood trauma, depression, anxiety  physical illnesses.   aforementioned cracks in his skeleton, other than that, none left or right-brained.  right-brained fears.   hurting others, abandonment/being left behind, lingering fears triggered by past experiences ( ex. getting his gem pulled out by white diamond ), no longer being needed, himself self-confidence level.  varies quite a lot throughout the series. is outwardly shown to be quite positive and optimistic throughout most of SU, however early on he doubts his abilities frequently, and especially through the diamond days arc, he questions and doubts about his own identity. during change your mind, he solidifies a strong sense of self love and confidence, however this has wavered throughout the events of SUF. his confidence in himself has depleted to the point where he is scared of his own abilities and destructive powers, and thinks very negatively of himself.  vulnerabilities. he doesn’t know how to exist without having something to fix. he constantly offers help, however doesn’t seek or accept help from others due to both a belief that he is only supposed to help others, and an unwillingness to open up to that sort of change. his mother is a very sensitive topic, considering his very complicated feelings towards her. his mental state is extremely vulnerable at the moment as he finally grapples with his past. 

SEX & ROMANCE.

sexual orientation.   romantic orientation.  panromantic preferred emotional role.   submissive  |  dominant  |  switch ; steven has a hard time accepting comfort and support, often closing himself off and claiming he’s fine, twisting the situation so he can try and help the other person. he is constantly offering comfort and emotional help. and although it is difficult for him to accept the same, once he does, he appreciates the comfort and support.  preferred sexual role. submissive  |  dominant | switch libido. turn on’s.  kindness, a genuine want to spend time with him, someone he really clicks with, a meaningful friendship, the ability to joke around and laugh with someone, feeling happy with them even when things aren’t going great  turn off’s.  cruelty, targeting someone he loves love language.   super affectionate-- lots of physical contact. hugs, all kinds of kisses, cuddles, the whole deal, he loves love and loves showing people that he loves them. he tends to be quite “extra” when planning special things, either picking out meaningful gifts or setting up grander, impulsive gestures ( ex. the proposal to connie ).  relationship tendencies.        steven has never been in an official romantic relationship-- the closest is his bond with connie ( however he believes he likely ruined that after together forever/growing pains ). however, in a romantic relationship, he would as said before be very affectionate and caring. he would always make time for the other, write them songs, set up fun things for them whether it’s a lot smaller or holds more weight. however, he also does not know how romance works at all, which would result in him being quite clueless, and making decisions that might seem questionable to someone else. he’ll get very red and flustered upon receiving the same affection he tries to give back, though.  as for other types of relationships, he tends to make friends quite easily, and fervently cares for everyone around him. he feels as if a lot of his relationships are drifting away from him, though, and has taken to isolating himself/lashing out instead of properly dealing with his problems. 

tagged by:  @pristinette​ !! tagging: steal it from me uwu

[im-fairly-whitty]

So...how did you feel about Pink's big reveal? I'm shocked and annoyed(?)

On Complexity of Character: Pink Diamond/Rose Quartz

I’m actually an armchair SU fan, I enjoy the show and got into it a couple summers back, but I don’t interact with the fandom at all online. I appreciate the lovely fanart I see across my dash sometimes, but I don't ever read the theories or rants or OC blogs or whatever. 

That said, as a lover of stories and animation, I do have Some Thoughts about what the show is doing character-wise with Pink and Rose’s character, and since you asked, here they are. All of the following are free-range and organic Wit thoughts, unexposed and uninfluenced by the greater fandom as a whole.

So first off I actually wasn’t surprised at all at the reveal, I’ve seen it coming for several episodes now, what with the memory flashbacks and subtle foreshadowing and all, and I actually thought that most all of the fandom knew too? That’s what I get for being unplugged I guess, today’s shocked reactions from everyone surprised me. 

And why was I surprised that everyone was surprised?

Well first off, it’s important to note that a prevalent and interesting continuing theme in the show is “nothing is what it seems.” 

While the show started as a relatively chill story with low stakes and little lore (just a bunch of colorful space friends eating ice cream and trying to shape-shift into cats on the beach) but as time goes on we’ve discovered that pretty much everyone and everything in the show is not nearly as two dimensional and simple as you are initially led to think they are. 

For example: Cool and collected Garnet is actually a forbidden fusion of two gems, ever-joking Amethyst is a physically malformed gem who is hiding crippling self-doubts, little Steven has untold and untapped abilities, book-smart Connie can fuse with Steven and has the skill to become a swordsman, terrifying and calculating space scout Peridot is an art loving goofball who needs love, a mirror is a trapped Lapis Lazuli. Heck, even centipeedle is revealed to be a horrendously mentally traumatized former space captain. 

The list goes on and on, but the basic pattern is that you meet a character that you think is a flat stereotype, that seems to be one dimensional, but then over time you realize they have hidden strengths and glaring flaws and buried secrets that make them far more complex and interesting to watch. This is good character writing that forces you not to take people at face value, to not automatically accept what they do as “good” or “bad,” but to actually pay attention to why they do what they do, and not just what they do. 

Real people always exist in a grey area where we try to do our best but often come up short because of our personal weaknesses and conditioning, and really well-written characters exist in this same grey area.

So what about Pink Diamond and Rose Quartz? Well they’re the biggest and grandest example of this pattern in the entire show. 

Think about it, who are the two flattest, most arguably two-dimensional characters in the entire show? People who are portrayed as either ALL-good or ALL-evil? 

It’s these two. 

Part of this comes from the fact that they’ve both been “dead” (to varying degrees of course) for a long time, meaning that everything we hear about them is stylized and influenced by the viewpoint of whoever is telling us stories about them. 

First we learn of Rose Quartz: the dashing and brilliant rebel leader who fought for freedom and defended the week, the angelic and perfect leader of the crystal gems who loved Greg and humanity and who to this day smiles down on the Gem’s temple from her beautiful portrait over the front door. I mean come on, her tears can literally heal and resurrect, it’s hard to create a more obviously savior-type character than that. 

On the other hand we are later introduced to evil incarnate, Pink Diamond. When we first learn about her she is a cryptically powerful and faceless diety that was as overwhelmingly cruel as her diamond sisters, someone who ruthlessly ruled the Earth and tried to exterminate humanity and the rebel group rising against her. She was a terrible danger that had to be destroyed to protect the planet and ultimately even the subjects under her who are shown as having lived in a nigh-dystopian society. It doesn’t help when we start to learn later that she was essentially the kid sister of the diamonds, a bratty child capable of throwing tantrums and disobeying directions to get what she wanted.

Rose Quartz and Pink Diamond: Two extremes, both rather two dimensional in that one is ALL good and the other is ALL bad.

Until we meet Bismuth. It’s when Bismuth reveals that Rose Quartz bubbled her that things start to get interesting, because this tidbit suddenly seems to challenge everything that Steven thought his mother stood for. 

That’s when I sat up straight and really started paying attention, because if a perfectly perfect character suddenly has one potential flaw in a show of wonderfully nuanced characters, then I was suddenly convinced that we were about to find out that Rose Quartz was riddled with all kinds of interesting flaws and secrets. The show’s character-revealing magic had finally started to work on Rose and I was excited to see where it went.

As clues and hints about Rose Quartz started dropping we were also pulled into learning more about Pink Diamond and her “death,” or more specifically, the complications around how she was supposed to have died. I especially like the episode where Stevonnie saw vision/flashback/dreams of Pink being treated as a child, ie. not a terrifying and supremely evil overlord.

With Rose and Pink both having extra dimensions and backstory heaped onto their characters at the same time, sliding them both away from either side of the character spectrum from all good and all evil, I figured it was only a matter of time before they met in the middle. Rose Diamond, Pink Quartz, whatever this mess of a character is, it’s a beautifully complex one and she is forcing every viewer to reconsider what they thought and assumed about Pink and Rose up to this point. 

Instead of a savior and a despot, we now have one well-meaning young leader who made a LOT of extremely questionable choices that ended in a lot of people living and a lot of people dying, and even more living with some kind of lasting trauma.

I for one am very interested to see what we learn next about the real Rose Diamond/Pink Quartz, because now instead of hearing glorified war stories or bitterly hateful ghost tales we’re going to be hearing more about a real person with real flaws and real weaknesses. 

A lot of the backlash I’ve seen drifting across my dash today seems to be people who are mourning the death of a perfect character, whether it is the savior-like Rose or the all-powerful Pink, and they’re right, both of those characters as we’ve known them have disappeared for good. 

But I don’t think it’s a cause for grief or anger. I for one am kicking back with a bucket of popcorn to see how the show handles the combining of its two most powerful characters into someone new that is going to have an incredibly interesting story to tell that we’ve never heard before.

And don’t forget that as we discover more truth about the past, we’ll also be discovering things we hadn’t seen before about the present, and then realizing things about the future as well.

Because in this show, nothing is ever as it seems, and the more that Steven discovers about his mother, the more he’ll discover about himself too.

[neoduskcomics]

If you didn't hear the news, 6 new episodes of Steven Universe were recently made available on the Cartoon Network app. Go watch them if you're able, and then come back here if you'd care to hear what I thought about them. SPOILERS. SPOILERS. SPOILERS.

Dewey Wins The plot in this episode is basically creating a parallel to Connie's heartbreak over Steven's actions in the last story arc and putting him in her shoes. It's not exactly the most gracefully or subtly executed story device, and I was a bit disappointed when, at the end, I realized that the entire point of it was simply to get Steven to understand why Connie was upset at the beginning of the episode (something that I'm sort of surprised wasn't immediately obvious to him).

That being said, I didn't dislike this episode. We're coming right of the heels of some of the most dramatic and loaded plot in the series, so a lot of it is really just winding down and getting everyone up to speed in the aftermath. It sort of subsists on carrying the momentum of what came before it. While the stuff with Dewey wasn't the most engaging, it was harmless, and they got a couple good jokes out of it.

I was hoping we'd see a bit more of Dewey actually dealing with the consequences of his lackluster-ness as a mayor, which we sort of did, but he didn't have a lot of time to process any of it, since the episode had to shift focus right back onto Steven's relationship issues with Connie. Hopefully, we'll see a future episode that features some actual character growth for Dewey so that this whole story wasn't just a means of getting from point A to point B. Gemcation What do you do when your son is clearly having some kind of personal problem, judging from the fact that he's constantly checking messages on his phone and all bummed out? You drag him to a vacation home that he's clearly disinterested in and try to force uncomfortable conversations about his traumatic space trip, of course. So much sound, emotional clarity going on in these episodes. Kidding aside, though, I did enjoy this one. It was amusing seeing the gems trying to figure out what was bugging Steven (and doing a comically terrible job of it). Pearl's antics got several laughs from me, and it made me feel like the comedy in this series was on point for the first time in a while. The plot wasn't outstanding, but it had a lot of good character moments. Seeing Garnet being awkward and out of her field of expertise was fun, and seeing Greg defer to the gems with helping Steven, only to reassert his role as father was nice to see. The whole cell-phone-reception-race ended predictably, but I do like that interpersonal issues in this show aren't resolved so quickly and easily. It's part of what helps the characters in this show feel like people and not just set pieces, and helps this series about magical gem warriors from outer space feel more grounded. Also, for real, though, that part with Pearl trying to talk to Steven and she kept covering her own mouth. The fuck was that. She totally killed Pink Diamond. Or she knows who killed her. Or she knows something. And someone cursed her or ordered her not to talk. Maybe Rose. Who the fuck knows. I'm sure everyone has already drawn up like fifty conspiracy theories about it. I'd prefer to just keep my mind open and let myself be surprised, but it's hard not to speculate when the show drops shit like that. Raising the Barn Say bye to Lapis, kids. I mean, you know, again. I'm sure she'll come back, but it is interesting to see such a status-quo-shifting departure happen on the show. Again, I like it when the show has these realistic turns of events. Connie's not gonna immediately make up with Steven. Lapis isn't necessarily going to stay just because Peridot wants to. Now, if I had an issue with all of this, it's probably that the way in which we arrive at these issues (or the resolutions thereof, but we'll get to that) isn't always the most interesting. Like, this episode was good, but it wasn't great. It could've done with more comedy or maybe more dialogue that was of consequence to the characters, rather than looping around the motions of Peridot very obviously avoiding the situation before finally and predictably confronting Lapis at the end. I'm not saying this episode was bad, just that it could've been better. I don't really have a whole lot to say about it other than that. Back to the Kindergarten While not one of my favorite episodes, this was a good episode for Peridot. I like seeing her really grapple with her newfound feelings of despair and distress, and trying to deal with it in an emotionally healthy way. While the sunflowers all dying was a tad predictable, it was still a well-executed plot device, and moving forward with the idea of understanding that while some parts of life will always be sad, there's always a whole world of potential happiness around you. Again, it's a more realistic message and, as a result, it feels more genuine. For there to be highs, there have to be lows. You have to work for your catharsis, and I think that's something this show mostly gets.

The last time we saw Amethyst, Peridot, and Steven hang out was the "shorty squad" episode, and I found this one to be far more interesting. Peridot doesn't simply spend the whole episode moping and then finally realizing some uplifting truth--there's an emotional mini-arc that she goes through: moving from despair to hopefullness, having that hope crushed, and then learning from the experience and finding that hope again in a different place. Moving through a range of different feelings is, I think, what makes for a more affective episode than having basically a single tone or conflict that leads you to an inevitable conclusion. Sadie Killer I think this is the first episode involving the cool kid crew that I genuinely enjoyed. There are a handful of episodes in the series are pretty much devoid of magical gem stuff, but out of all of those, this is definitely one of the better ones, if for no reason other than that it just has some great character development and progress for Sadie. For the first time, we really explore her as a person, not as she relates to Lars, but just herself. It was neat seeing her feel the weight of her monotonous and stressful life, and then finally break through and come out of her shell of her own volition—not because she was forced to in some contrived plot about how she doesn’t communicate well with her mom.

The musical number was fun and it was a great way to have Sadie let loose, doing something she enjoys and showing a side of her that you always sort of detected was there but she never just came out and expressed it. Sadie didn’t suddenly have a dark side for the sake of this episode; you’ve seen her deal with anxiety and stress and dealing with bullshit for five seasons. It’s good to finally see a culmination to all of that.

If I had an issue with this episode, it’s maybe that it just ends with her quitting the job. I would’ve liked to have seen her really deliberate over the situation, either prior to or in the aftermath of the decision, rather than simply using it as an ending revelation. But apart from that small gripe, it was a great character episode.

Kevin Party

I think this episode was a bit of a mixed bag. I think they really nailed the awkwardness of having Steven and Connie struggling to confront one another. The nervous tension is present in every scene of that episode, basically from the moment Kevin informs Steven that Connie would be at the party. Aside from that, though, the episode feels mostly like another one of those terrible “guy gets bad relationship advice from person he very obviously shouldn’t be taking relationship advice from and then inevitably screws things up before finally coming clean and being honest with himself which in return earns the trust/affection of the girl” plots. It’s played out and this story didn’t really offer anything new to the formula.

Not only that, but is Kevin just going to be a thing in every episode where Steven and Connie are having awkward relationship issues? I mean, we’ve already seen them embarrass/humiliate him for being a douche. I thought this time we might get something different. When he brings up that girl he apparently broke up with, I thought we might actually explore Kevin’s character and see why he is the way he is, and make him maybe a more complex character. But, no, we just saw him continue to be an asshat for self-gain before it blows up in his face.

Overall, I do like that we got to see Steven actually mess up in a personal matter and not just a magical destiny matter, and that’s something he really had to struggle with and learn from. At the same time, I feel like getting into that string of episodes and then leaving it was not the most gracefully executed. I’m glad that it happened, but I also sort of wish they went about it in a more interesting way, especially in a show that has frequently demonstrated, in the past, an ability to break the mold and go against the grain with its characters and storytelling.

But, you know. Connie has a cute haircut, now. So there’s that.

Overall

This was a nice chunk of episodes that left me feeling ultimately satisfied. I was expecting a string of episodes that leaned more toward the slice-of-life element of the show, but I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed them. To me, these were far superior to the slice-of-life episodes of Season 3 that I complained about. I found the plots more compelling, the characters were more engaging, and I even thought that the jokes were funnier (Steven’s oblivious napkin-stealing cracks me up).

Not to mention the fact that we’re seeing a lot of changes to the status quo. And not ones that feel like they were made just to switch things up. They all feel like logical outcomes based on what we know about the characters. Mayor Dewey was always ignorant and incompetent. Lapis was always against getting mixed up in Gem business, even Peridot at first. Sadie was always having her patience and tolerance for bullshit tested. It’s a good feeling when you have developments in your story that feel less like arbitrary sources of conflict and more like payoff to what we’ve known and felt all along.

I hope we get more episodes soon. Even if the “main plot” doesn’t advance, I just miss being in this world with these characters. This last Steven Bomb reminded me a bit of why I like the series so much in the first place. I hope we don’t end up like Steven, waiting fruitlessly for an update for days on end.

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

My Thoughts When Heroes Become Anti-Heroes

first we knows how The Ending of The End Part 1 to 2 went down...

even if both episodes were still awesome, one part of it wasn't so great... and that is the whole turning Cozy, Tirek and Chrysalis to stone... and yet Discord was the one who started it in the first place.... Celestia, Luna and Discord really couldn't of just I don't know, maybe had the three go to the Human World

that Sunset lives, since Sunset appeared in The Last Problem, it means that she is canon. didn't they learn the last few times that stone spell was used, that it doesn't truly solve anything.

what it might do, is cause Cozy, Chrysalis and Tirek to form Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. or PTSD for short, but it shouldn't be mistaken for the other types of PTSD that doesn't have "Stress" in their names.

I believe that Fiona Fox had PTSD, and even if he might not show it, I believe that Scourge The Hedgehog could of had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as well. plus it is possible that the relationship of Scourge and Fiona, wasn't pure "in love" feelings.

but at the same time, they could of still cared for each other, but what they thought was romantic feelings, was more likely knowing how it feels to be hurt by those who called themselves "good guys".... Fiona was hurting, and it only got worse when the other freedom fighters didn't understand that and had distrust for her.

I believe that she had enough and turned back to her old ways, because she wasn't welcome by the freedom fighters. yes I believe now, that Fiona and Scourge's relationship, to be a toxic relationship.

I also want to say that I don't blame Lauren for that Ending of The End Part 1 to 2.

I know they didn't have anything to do with that, but I guess I shouldn't blame those who had Discord, Celestia and Luna pull a Anti-Hero move....

and I know some fans think it was 100% okay that it happen that way.

but I and a few other fans will have to disagree on that.

plus if Chrysalis already had PTSD, then being placed in stone, might make it much worse than it is now.

I can't agree with Anti-Hero moves that some characters make. like when Star Butterfly decides to destroy the magic, the last episodes were still awesome, even to the end where dimensions become one and the same.

but placing the blame on the magic, that HER FAMILY misused, is NOT okay. that is just as bad as the Player/Frisk making Chara the scapegoat, which gave birth to the AU versions of Chara where they truly do use Frisk,

but in the canon it isn't Chara who starts the whole Geno Routes.

Star could of came up with a spell to kill Mina and The rest of the Solarian Warriors that Moon help make.

but even that would be going too far, but making the Magic the scapegoat, when it was her family that kept misusing it, was not okay.

I don't think I will ever understand why they had to have characters from both SVTFOE and MLPFIM pull Anti-Hero moves.

we know that there will be Anti-Heroes and Anti-Villains. take Optimus Prime from TFA, even if Starscream did place a small device on Megatron to go Boom. it wasn't him that caused Megatron to be thrown out the ship, that was Optimus. so even if Starscream did cause Megatron to become injured, it was Optimus who caused Megatron to be fully destroyed, and his head ending up in Sumdac's Lab.

Optimus even tried to place the blame on Starscream when he was Lockdown's captive.

plus it isn't like the Autobots are all innocent, because of how the Decepticons became "The Decepticons" in the first place. even if in most of the Transformers Timelines, the history of how the Decepticons formed because of mistreatment, might not be in all the timelines, but it could of still be placed in some timelines.

and yet most Autobots think they are the innocent, but really they aren't, well the Autobots that just became Autobots that had nothing to do with what happen during when the two factions first formed, it is the new generation of both Autobots and Decepticons that are 100% innocent from what the first Autobots and Decepticons have started.

Homeworld Gems and Autobots are kind of the same, same goes for Decepticons and Crystal Gems being the same. but there is still differences too, the Crystal Gems wanted to protect the life growing on Earth. and Autobots well, if the Autobots truly did force the Decepticons from Cybertron in Transformers Animated... then they are no better than how the Homeworld Gems use to be, but at least they reformed. yes the Crystal Gems was able to force The Homeworld Gems off of Earth, but a lot of gems on both sides ended up hurt. Lapis wasn't even a Crystal Gem during that time, and she ended up hurt by both sides. it is possible she had formed PTSD when she was mirror.

Steven's Mom, was both a Good & Bad person....she caused problems that Steven felt he needed to fix.

and at some point Steven ended up in a dark place, I'm not sure if he ended up with PTSD, but we do know that because of what he went through and his Mother's actions, it caused him to view her different, and even started to see his Dad being just like her.

even if Greg was both Good & Bad like Rose, his view of his parents couldn't been right. there are two sides to every story, and Greg might of not seen the full picture on why his parents treated him the way they did.

Steven wasn't really a Anti-Hero, but more like a Hero who was becoming emotionally hurt. just when he was becoming better, his Dad made him go right back to feeling really bad.

and with the money that Greg got from his old partner Marty, he could of taken Steven to the hospital or even send him to school.

well send him to school or get someone to come to Steven's home to teach him, because not everyone is able to handle school.

I mean if both teachers and other students give off too much energies, it could cause seizures to those who are sensitive to energies, from both people and some supernaturals.

such energies causing a person to form seizures can be misdiagnosed, which of course will have doctors who don't know anything about those kind of seizures,

to get ya medicine that you freaking didn't need in the first place, all ya did need is to get as far away from the town and people that were giving off such dangerous energies,

and maybe get some gems to protect you from energies even in the new less negative place you end up living at next.

we can see Energies as Magical Energies, and they can be dangerous to those

who are very sensitive to them if they are not of their own Magic Energy.

I asked my pendulum if unicorns are real, and it gave me a "Yes"

I even asked if I was a Unicorn with Wings in one of my past lives, and it gave me a Yes....

so since Unicorns with Wings are called Alicorns in this day and age,

it means I was technically a Alicorn in one of my past lives, I mean if it isn't one of my pendulum's pranks. but being reborn as a animal and not just a human, might be good....but I think I rather just be reborn as a human. my pendulum even gave me a Yes, when I asked if I was a Dire Wolf in one of my past lives. and it seems in both my lives of being a Dire Wolf and Unicorn With Wings (also known as a Alicorn today.) I was always Female, well biologically female.

I kind of hope that my being a Dire Wolf and Alicorn in one of my past lives, isn't one of my pendulum's pranks.

I hope that no one takes this the wrong way, but I don't EVER want to be reborn as a Male Human....

or Male anything, I guess it be find if I was reborn as a Female who happen to be Intersex.

but I really don't want to be reborn as a Male, I have my reasons....

I mean even if there can be Male Humans I can trust, most of my past life problems have been caused by Men...

and it is good thing I can't remember it, but I think it can be possible for someone to remember a little...

I know that most of my past life problems were caused by Females too...

my pendulum gave me a Yes,

when I asked if I was aborted in one of my past lives.

(but it could be pulling a prank about that, or it could be true.)

but I just don’t think I would be comfortable being reborn as a Male....

also I asked my pendulum, and the little girl who is known as Rosalia Lombardo is in fact haunting her body,

but her soul is not in the body itself, the soul and the body of Rosalia Lombardo that is being persevered, are bonded....so if the reborn soul of Rosalia is alive today, they would be unknowingly haunting their past life body.

so if it is true, then any time someone sees a persevered body open their eyes, it is because of them being bonded to their soul that has a new body and went through rebirth.

I asked my pendulum if I am Rosalia Lombardo's reincarnation, and it gave a Yes. but it could be one of it's pranks, but still I guess it could possibly be true... the yellow bow on top of Rosalia's head is really cute, but if it is true that we are one and the same soul.

that would mean that Rosalia was a Earth Angel.

I even asked my pendulum if the Rosalia body only opens their eyes when I sleep, and it gave a Yes.

but it could be joking about that, I mean it isn't like that is true...at least I think it isn't.

so if a persevered body who's soul has left that body, open their eyes. it could be because of the bond of the soul and it's original body. if I had to, I would pray that I stop haunting that body I use to be the home of my soul....

I can take a guess what would happen if I do so, I don't know if my pendulum is being truthful or not,

but I asked it if I do just that, will it caused my past life body to turn to dust, and it gave a Yes.

I'm not really sure if it is true, but I think it might be for the best to at least try, even if people might be upset. but if it is true that body was me in a past life, then I have a right to stop myself from haunting it.

it is time for that part of myself be given true peace, I'm not even sure it will even happen, but if it does, then I guess my pendulum wasn't pulling a prank on me about Rosalia Lombardo aka "The Sleeping Beauty" being my past life self...I mean if it is true, but there is a chance that it is one of it's pranks.

anyway after I post this up, I will get to work on praying that I stop haunting my past life body of Rosalia Lombardo.

I mean if it is true, but it could turn out my pendulum is just on one of it's prank kicks....

anyway back to the whole Anti-Hero talk, I still can't agree with the whole Anti-Hero move that happen in MLPFIM or SVTFOE,

even if the last episodes of those two shows were still awesome and good, but I can't agree with Magic taking the fall for those who had misused it,

or Discord getting away with what he did, and Cozy, Chrysalis and Tirek ending up as the scapegoats.

also it is possible that the power of the element of harmony, do not have the power to turn living beings to stone.

this spell could only be done by those who know a stone spell, and the elements of harmony can only heal and bring those who have been turned to stone back to flesh.

when Cozy, Chrysalis and Tirek are turned to stone, they are turned that way by Discord, Luna and Celestia. not the elements of harmony or those who truly represent them, and from what we can understand, there is more than one Tree of Harmony.

it can very well be possible that there is a Tree of Harmony in the human world that Sunset now calls home.

what if Moondancer was suppose to be one who was suppose to become the Princess of Friendship, not Twilight?

what if Sunset was suppose to be part of the elements of harmony in her original world, but then when she started to form friendships in the human world, she started to become one of the elements of harmony in that world instead. what if Bubbly Hooves (also known by Derpy Hooves, but I like calling her by one of her other names which is "Bubbly" now, because it seems better.) is Loyalty, Vinyl Scratch is Generosity and Octavia Melody is Inspiration, well I think it could be possible....

but what if Moondancer, Sunset Shimmer, Vinyl Scratch, Octavia Melody, Doctor Chrono Whooves, Amethyst Star, Lyra Heartstrings and Sweetie "Bonbon" Drops were suppose to find the elements of harmony instead of Twilight and her friends?

but that would possibly be in a Alternate Timeline, but I can't help but think that Sci-Twi might really be the counterpart of Moondancer.

don't misunderstand, and just think I believe that because of them both wearing glasses, I wear glasses too you know.

but I think it is possible that the Twilight we have known from Season 1, might really be different.... Twilight could of been given memories of Moondancer, who was truly the one that hatched Spike's egg.

the Twilight we know as Sci-Twi, might be Moondancer's twin sister and Twilight Velvet and Night Light, could be Moondancer's real parents who's memories were altered. Twilight Sparkle could really be a Magical Pony Homunculus that was created. the real Twilight Sparkle who would then be Sci-Twi, ended up taken from her real family and given to homunculus clones of just her father, mother and older brother, then taken to the human world to live there. while Moondancer was given to a pony who was the niece of her mother Twilight Velvet.

it's fine that no one agrees about that theory, but what if it were true.... that the Princess Twilight we known for so long, turned out to be a clone/homunculus that replaced Sci-Twi? maybe that would be better in a Fanon Alternate Timeline.

there is no way that would be canon, I mean fanon yes, but it wouldn't be canon...

no one has to agree with me or others who believe that Cozy, Tirek and Chrysalis were wronged, and the whole turning them to stone was a Anti-Hero move...if the elements did in fact heal them, and doesn't have the power to turn them or any living being to stone, this power might very well be magic that can only be done by those who know the spell for it.

so yeah I now believe that the elements of harmony can not truly turn someone to stone, but are able to heal and bring back those who were turned to stone.

it be kind of interesting if my pendulum was being truthful about one of my past lives being a winged unicorn, which is known now as a Alicorn. like I said many times before, it tend to pull pranks when it isn't being truthful.

so if nothing happens to the Rosalia Lombardo-Body, after I pray to Divine Father & Mother for me to stop haunting it and for my original body be given true peace, then I think I will go watch season 2 of Transformers Animated.

I had been watching some cartoons on my Xbox, well DVDs on my Xbox.

like Sonic Underground, it be nice if Sonia and Manic became canon in the Sega games of Sonic The Hedgehog.

once again my pendulum giving me a Yes, about me being Rosalia Lombardo’s reincarnation, could very well be one of it’s pranks.

but I don’t think I should ignore it if it turns out it isn’t pranking me.

and if it turns out every time I go to sleep, the eyes of Rosalia start to open.

my pendulum gave a Yes, when I asked if Rosalia’s father having persevered the body was a sin, and it went clockwise fast for Yes.

I asked my pendulum, and it seems that preserving a Earth Angel’s original body, is a sin...so Rosalia’s father who had someone persevere the body,

committed a sin, so if my pendulum isn’t pulling a prank on me and it giving a “Yes” or “No” is true.

then it means that the eyes that open on persevere bodies,

are being haunted by their reincarnations, and when their reincarnations sleep, the eyes do open....

I mean it is still possible that my pendulum is pulling a prank about that.

but that would be interesting for some kind of story.

but I’m still gonna pray that I no longer haunt my supposedly original body,

but if nothing happens, like the persevere body doesn’t turn to dust by some miracle after I do pray for myself to no longer haunt or be bonded to that original body I had in a past life, then I will know that my pendulum was just pulling a prank on me.

again even though I really love MLPFIM and SVTFOE,

but I just can’t agree with the Anti-Hero actions that happen in the final seasons.

I do hope to get a real complete series DVD of Star Vs The Forces of Evil.

it isn’t fair that it is only on Prime Videos, where you can either only buy a episode or season, and it sure isn’t gonna be send to you by mail.

which really sucks, because I would like to get a DVD box of SVTFOE.

and hopefully they don’t make it too expensive.

not everyone can go past $100...

I’m thinking of changing my tumblr name, but I still want to make sure others still know it’s me, so I could save the original name by writing it down on my tumblr page.

I guess I can think about it a bit more.

I think after I do pray the prayer that I need to do.

I will check out some stuff on here after doing that, and then I will go and watch Season 2 of Transformers Animated.

and maybe watch a Movie with family too.

once again it be nice if it turned out my pendulum wasn’t pulling a prank

about one of my past lives being a Winged Unicorn, plus it be even more awesome if the whole me being a Dire Wolf in one of my past lives would be really REALLY awesome.

but I still think I would like to be reborn as human, even if some humans are not all that great....I have a better chance living a bit longer as a human than as a animal....because you know, how most humans treat animals...

but if my pendulum is being truthful, Earth Angels don’t reborn as Animals anymore....

I asked my pendulum and it gave a No.

but it’s fine that no one thinks this is true or agrees about it.

I mean some people still believe that Lucifer and Satan are one and the same,

but there not.

but even if it were true that Lucifer is the true father of Cain,

he still ain’t the boss of me, and I’m still technically rebelling against him.

because of me having started to once in a while,

pray that the Anti-Christ never fulfills the prophecy, and their power keeps sealed and they just live a normal life and find happiness.

 I can only hope that my pendulum is joking about the whole Lord of Terror.

I asked my pendulum if the Lord of Terror is biologically female,

and it gave a Yes.

well the Lord of Terror from Sgt Frog is female.

I asked the pendulum if the Anti-Christ is biologically male, and it gave a Yes.

seriously it is fine that no one believes about it.

my pendulum gives me Yes or No replies by how it moves.

so blame it on my pendulum, not me.

according to my pendulum, the reason why the Lord of Terror prophecy wasn’t fulfilled, was because she was not in the place where it would be fulfilled.

which might be a good thing, that is if it were true...

but I’m still gonna hope that the info I asked about the lord of terror, isn’t 100% true and my pendulum is just pulling a prank.

I’m also gonna pray for the Vaccines to help everyone,

anyway it’s fine that those who are either Religious or Atheist,

don’t agree about my believing most of the things that my pendulum gives a Yes or No to, plus even though I had discovered I was never truly a Christian in the first place, I can still believe in God.

but I also believe in The Divine Mother Goddess too.

according to my pendulum, I'm a Priestess of The Ma-Acolyte Religion.

it gave me a Yes when I asked that.

but I don’t think there will be many Ma-Acolytes, and I’m fine with that.

I’m not gonna try to convert others...

like I said before, converting should be of someone’s free will.

and I think those who are Christian, Jewish and other religion,

who aren’t part of the toxic side, will agree that it is wrong to force convert others.

also even if some might not agree about my feelings about it,

I don’t think it’s right to shun those who choose to leave Amish Community for good or the Amish’s religion.

I don’t think it is wrong for someone who is formerly part of the community, to want to visit their family who are still part of the community.

but that whole shunning them for wanting to no longer be part of it, doesn’t seem right.

according to my pendulum, it is wrong.

it gave a Yes about it being wrong, but even if I do reveal the answer it gives me, it isn’t like others will even agree about it.

those who are Amish, do not have to agree with others...

or what the other answers that my pendulum gave me the answers about those who live in a Amish Community, which I wish not to say at this time.

and I can only hope my pendulum is just pulling a mean prank.

but it could be possible that my pendulum might not be pulling a prank,

when it gave a Yes about the shunning being a sin.

it is possibly true, but we can only hope my pendulum is just pulling a prank.

anyway I’m not sure if anyone will even read this, I know I got off topic when talking about how I don’t agree with the Anti-Hero actions that happen in the last seasons of SVTFOE and MLPFIM.

once again I don’t blame the creator of MLPFIM for what happen in the two part episodes of the last season of MLPFIM.

turning anyone to stone or even placing them into a Crystal Prison,

just because they seem evil, doesn’t seem right.

some times villains become villains because of wrong actions of the hero.

I still believe that it is possible that Cozy, Tirek and Chrysalis

could form Post Traumatic Stress Disorder,

and if Tirek and Chrysalis already had it, it could become far worse once they get let out of their stone prison.

if those three were truly evil, then they wouldn’t of showed signs of them starting to feel the magic of friendship when they were working together.

but because of their bad experience to the magic of friendship,

they shake it off and reject it, but even if they do this, it doesn’t mean they did not still form the magic of friendship between the three of them.

someone who was truly evil, would of not acted the way they did when they started to feel good about working together and being together.

I don’t believe Discord should of got away with what he did.

and I don’t agree about the ponies locking up the original monster fauna away in the same place they put Tirek...

even if no one agrees about the theory, and that is okay with me.

but I still believe that it is possible the Old Equestria,

could of been that broken land of snow that is right next to Storm King’s Castle.

and the land that New Equestria is,

was the home of Tirek, the Monster-Fauna and the Crystal Empire being the original home of the Changelings, who use to look like the forms they have now to the end of the show.

but after their home was taken by Earth Ponies turned into Crystal Ponies,

and being far away from the Crystal Heart that feeds them and they in turn give back to the Crystal Heart, the Changelings starve and their bodies turn into their starve forms that we first see in their first appearance in the show.

the Pony Tribes that use to live in Old Equestria, did have a Tree of Harmony,

but because of the tribes fighting with each other and bringing too much disharmony, I believe that their Tree of Harmony could of created those Windigos to punish the ponies.

so when the Ponies of the different tribes moved away from their destroyed home of Old Equestria, the Windigos followed them.

still acting on their purpose given to them by the Tree of Harmony that created them....well that is my theory...it be interesting if that turned out to be true.           

like the only way the ponies could break the curse, is if they return to their ancestors original home land of old equestria and they ask that Tree of Harmony for forgiveness.

but what if that Tree had transformed into a Tree of Disharmony,

and it had created not only the Elements of Disharmony, but also Discord?

okay that idea about a formerly tree of harmony turned disharmony,

having created Discord, could be more like Fanon

and might not be canon at all.

but if it were true, that would mean the Ponies from the Old Equestria

were partly responsible for Discord’s birth into existence.                         

anyway I better not make this any more longer than it already is.

even if you all don’t have to agree about my feelings about how those two shows ended, or how my pendulum gives me a Yes or No to the questions I asked it.

but I hope you all can respect my different view.

I can only hope that some stuff I asked my pendulum is just pranks.

like the Year truly being 3021.

or the whole Aliens from the Game Mass Effect being real, and the game is based off of the real races that are in a real life citadel.

it can’t keep up that prank up forever...

or the prank it pulls about two of the races that appear from that game,

being part of my heritage.

if it were true, then they would of made contact by now.

my pendulum is still giving me a Yes about the Krogan Race living on the Planet Mars in real life.

it can’t keep up the prank about me having Salarian and Quarian heritage forever....it has to give a No at some point.

my pendulum is still giving a Yes to my question about Gaster being real,

and he implanted the idea of Undertale and Deltarune in Toby Fox’s mind.

it once again gave another Yes to both of those questions.

but it could very well be a prank, so it can’t keep up those pranks forever.

anyway I’m just gonna hurry up and post this up,

and check some stuff out on here, and then I will pray to no longer haunt one of my past life bodies that is known as sleeping beauty, then I will go watch Transformers Animated and later a Movie.

once again it is possible my pendulum is pulling a prank about Rosalia being one of my past lives, and the body being persevere was a sin and it caused some form of bond between the two bodies, even if the soul is in a new body.

well according to what I asked my pendulum.

but if the body that is Rosalia, doesn’t turn to dust after I pray for myself to no longer be bonded to it or haunt it, then I will know if nothing happens to it, then I will know my pendulum was just pulling one of it’s pranks.

so yeah thanks for listening, see ya later and stay safe everyone.

and if anyone uses a pendulum, and your pendulum pulls pranks at times.

just take some food salt, pray for it be truthful and also for the negative energy to be cleansed from it, then throw the salt that you prayed with in your hands,

on to the pendulum and leave it alone until maybe a few hours or until the next day.

it seems to work for me, and I have been doing that every once in a while.

but it’s fine that not everyone does it, and it is just me that does it.                                  

[aion-rsa]

Netflix Challenger Doc: How The Filmmakers Found Redemption and Optimism From Tragedy

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The Challenger space shuttle explosion in 1986 was one of America’s most visceral tragedies. In real time, millions of Americans, including school children across the country, witnessed the shuttle disintegrate from a solid rocket booster failure, claiming the lives of all seven astronauts on board. The mission was of particular national interest because a high school teacher named Christa McAulife was selected to become the first private citizen in space, leading to increased media attention and fanfare. 

Countless shows, documentaries, and books have covered all angles of the NASA mission gone horribly awry. Netflix’s new documentary series, Challenger: The Final Flight, stands out by telling the human stories behind the accident, including first-hand accounts from the decision makers at NASA and the astronauts’ families whose lives were changed irrevocably on the morning of January 28, 1986.

The project hails from J.J. Abrams’ Bad Robot Productions and executive Glen Zipper, and was co-directed by Steven Leckart and Daniel Junge (who won an Oscar in 2012 for Saving Face). Over a recent zoom call, Zipper, Leckart, and Junge told Den of Geek about their personal memories of the Challenger explosion. Zipper and Junge recall being pulled out of class and shown the shocking footage by their teachers. Leckart says he was young enough that nobody quite knew how to talk to him about the disaster. 

“This project for me personally was a way to try to understand something which actually was very deeply unsettling to me at a young age and actually shattered my own dreams about space and astronauts,” Leckart says. “That was my first experience of death, and it was a very strange way to come to terms with, “What does that mean, that they’re not coming home and they’re not coming back?” It’s an unsettling thing for a child to watch.” 

Across its four episodes, Challenger: The Final Flight memorializes one of NASA’s most diverse flight crews and contextualizes the scientific and bureaucratic failures that led to the disaster. In the Q&A below, Zipper, Leckart, and Junge reflect on the emotional interview process and ultimately how they found a story of redemption and optimism borne out of national tragedy. 

Den of Geek: How did you decide on tackling the Challenger disaster as your next project?

Steven Leckart: In 2015, we had finished our second project together. Glenn just said, “Well, I think our next project together should be something really personal to both of us, instantly personal.” The second he said “Challenger,” I said, “I’m in. That sounds fantastic.” Because I’m just old enough that I witnessed that moment in time in elementary school, but I’m also just young enough that I really never fully understood what had happened, and it was just a great opportunity to dive in.

Separately, Daniel and I had met around the same period of time when we started talking about Challenger. We were introduced through someone else in the doc community to try to work together. That didn’t wind up happening. By the time this project came back around and Daniel was suggested as my co-director on the project, we’d already knew each other and had wanted to work together. It was serendipitous.

Daniel, did they drag you in kicking and screaming? 

Daniel Junge: No, none whatsoever. It’s a no-brainer when you have a meeting and the first thing they say is Challenger and you go, “I’m in.” Our first pitch was to Netflix and we felt pretty confident there and then that they were going to do it.

I’ve done a lot of co-directions, but I think this one benefited from a lot of intense, vigorous discussions because it’s such a complicated thing to do a series like this. I think we both agree that had either one of us done it solo, it wouldn’t be as good as it is because of those spirited discussions and the fact that there’s a lot of moving parts here. There’s history, there’s science, there’s personal backstories, there’s politics, and there’s controversy. Balancing all those came from not just the two of us, but a whole team. It got heated at times, but I think for the better. It never did come to blows. 

Glen Zipper: Neither of them has ever got hit by the other, but that’s because I got between them and I got punched in the face a few times separating them.

Steven Leckart: In all seriousness, joking aside, one of the things that was such a benefit to having a co-director… the interviews are so emotional, some of them, and we shot some of these interviews two on the same day. To have two directors able to jump in the chair was, I felt, really useful in some respects. You just sit with somebody’s pain and emotion and you’re just wiped. To have someone else there to step in and help break up the load was incredibly useful.

What did you guys look to achieve with Challenger that would set it apart? There are so many rich, interesting threads to pull on thematically. And how did you want to approach it from a visual standpoint?

Once we were starting to figure out the structure, we started to talk about how we were going to capture the interviews. We knew it was going to be an archival heavy documentary, but we knew that it needed to feel big and cinematic, as far as the cameras.

Glen Zipper: Steven should really speak to the granular specifics of it, but I can set the table by saying it’s interesting, observing us talk about the series and the various interviews that we did. We keep slipping and calling it a film. It is a series, but to us, it really feels like a film that’s split into four parts.

When we looked at all the other Challenger stories that have been told before, the other documentaries, there’s a storytelling reason that explains why this project is so different. But also, none of us had encountered a telling of the story that felt like a rich cinematic experience. That’s something we all agreed that we wanted to bring to the table, and I think something that Daniel and Steven did a wonderful job of executing on.

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Steven Leckart: The first thing out of the gate, we started talking structure and story before we talked about execution, and we arrived at the four episodes. We knew where the set pieces were going to be. We knew we wanted to start on the day of the launch. We knew we wanted to end up episode three with the actual explosion and hold off on showing it.

I remember Daniel and I were talking and I said, “I think we should shoot three cameras because I think we should go to camera, but use it very sparingly and only when we’re mostly talking post-explosion.” The idea was that you would live in one episode, two episodes, and then suddenly you would ratchet direct to camera and be super tight. Filmmakers would know what we were doing, but the average viewer would just feel like something changed, but they wouldn’t be able to put their finger on it.

Daniel agreed with that because it was an interesting premise, but then he said, “I think we should shoot a fourth camera and we should have this moving shot, this slider.”

We wound up with this setup with four cameras, which I’ve never shot a doc with four cameras. It’s not full Wormwood where you’re really shooting the heck out of it, but I think it allowed us to play visually in a way that was really satisfying and interesting in the edit. Some of the sliders cut moments and monologues that, just by sheer chance, were phenomenal. I think that’s the direct result of two directors coming with very complimentary but different visions, and then looking at together how they all played out.

Netflix was great to trust us and give us the budget to do it. But to the earlier point, this had to be bigger and it had to be ambitious, and that also led us down the path of recreations and really trying to do that in a way that felt tasteful and interesting and cinematic. We shot a lot of stuff we didn’t quite work in the edit, and we had to be painstakingly honest with each other about, does this work? Does this not work? Why is this falling apart for us? But the stuff that made the cut, watching and rewatching it, I think it feels great. I think it looks great. I think it doesn’t pull you out of the moment.

What aspect of Challenger were you guys most interested in exploring going in? And did the research and interviews take you to any unexpected places? 

Glen Zipper: The one thing that jumps out at me is in our early discussions around the project, we talked to people of our generation and the generation before us about their memories of the Challenger, and everyone has an indelible memory because it was such a traumatic event in our history. Everyone thinks they have a full understanding and knowledge of it. It’s very personal to them. Then we say, “Do you remember who the astronauts were?” Their answer would be, “Yes, of course we remembered all the astronauts are.”

Then we’d politely say, “Can you name them?” They’d say, “Yes, there’s Christa McAuliffe, and then there’s…” And they trail off. They were embarrassed to realize that they didn’t know who these other astronauts were, and sometimes even shocked.

That gave us the creative impetus to want to tell a story through the perspective of these astronauts and their families. These were human beings with lives, passions, ambitions, talents, and people who cared about them. We’ve lived with that image of Challenger exploding for so many years that we become desensitized to it.

What Steven and Daniel have done so well is they’ve reacquainted you, and in some cases acquainted you, with these characters. By the time we get to the accident in the third episode, that image takes on a whole new meaning to you. You’re invested with those seven souls who are on the Challenger, and when the inevitable happens, when that tragedy happens, it’s gut-wrenching in a whole other way.

Steven Leckart: I remember the conversation we had in which it was,”Okay, who are these other astronauts? Let’s look at them. Let’s start to unpack their histories. When did they come into the program? Who were they beforehand?”

When we first struck upon this idea of [NASA Group 8 in 1978] and what they represented in terms of opening up space to women, people of color, multiple religions, and doctors and scientists, not just white fighter pilots. When we realized that we could thread the needle and tie the shuttle to that dream of opening space up for everybody, and then we made the connection of who wound up on the Challenger, and then of course the Challenger even opened the door further for Christa, it really felt like there was a very clear arc in continuation between that big idea.

I realized that whether you were alive or not, that is as relevant today as it was 35 years ago. I think people who are younger will hopefully identify and see how just amazing and inspirational that moment was. We’re now standing on the cusp of more space exploration. The idea that it’s not owned by one country, or one gender, and all of that is super important. I’m hopeful that the series, aside from the tragedy, reminds people of that.

The biggest surprise for me watching the doc is how cooperative the NASA officials were, including ones in positions of leadership at the time. Could you tell me a little bit about what that process was like, requesting those interviews and ultimately asking some really, really hard questions?

Steven Leckart: We explained our vision for the series from the beginning, and it always came from a place of sincere curiosity as well as love for the space program in general. Our goal wasn’t to crucify NASA or the agency. We didn’t see this as a story of good guys and bad guys and were hunting for a villain. We already understood that the Challenger is very much a story about systemic dysfunction and bureaucratic organizations, and those people are put in very tough positions, oftentimes not by their own making and their own doing.

We were very clear with people from NASA. This is what we’re out to accomplish and we want to hear directly from you. We made it clear that we were not going to be interviewing people who had studied it and written books, but didn’t live it. We just wanted them to be able to share their experience in an open and safe forum, and we created a space for them to tell us whatever they felt comfortable telling us. Ultimately, that’s what you see on the screen, is a very honest and sobering, as you put it, revelatory experience.

There isn’t necessarily any new information. The commission pretty much covered most of it, but it’s in the candor of the interviews you really start to feel that this story, although it was put to bed so many years ago, hasn’t necessarily resolved for some of these people.

What was it like on the flip side of that? For the astronauts’ families it’s obviously such an emotional thing to talk about. Can you tell me a little bit about what that experience was like shooting those interviews, and being so close to people whose lives were so deeply affected by this?

Glen Zipper: I have done plenty of films on dark subject matter and tragic stuff. None of it has been this far in the past, so I think it was surprising to me how ever-present those emotions are for these subjects. These interviews were at least three hours. Some of them took all day. Question number three was, “Tell me about that day.” Often we wouldn’t get to that until hour two, hour three. I think at that point they were really ready for a watershed and really, I think, prepared to share.

Daniel Junge: I think that’s right. For the people who have done press before, they told us afterwards that it just felt different. Not different just because there’s four cameras, but different in terms of the tone and the tenor with which we conducted those interviews.

Then for people who have done very little media, I think they confessed and have confessed since then that doing the interview actually helped reconcile some feelings for them. I think at best, documentaries can be almost like a form of therapy in a way, and it’s free. You don’t have to pay for it.

Steven Leckart: But we have talked to some of the family members, or actually all of them who we interviewed, and the response we’ve received from them on the series has been overwhelmingly positive. Very few people at this point in time have seen the series. We don’t know what the public at large will feel, but I know for me, the sense of relief that I personally have, that they feel that we did the story justice and did right by them and their family members, that means the world to me. Whatever happens [when the doc releases on Netflix] and moving forward, at least we know that we did right by them.

Were there interviews you guys sought but didn’t get access?

Steven Leckart: There is one astronaut family that we were hopeful to include. They declined to be interviewed. We’re not exactly sure what was happening there, but we made every effort to basically bring that character to life through his NASA colleagues and friends. I don’t think if you watch the series you would feel like we’re missing anything.

The final episode is so powerful. The most emotional part for me was actually seeing the hopefulness come through towards the end, for what this meant for the space program, and what this meant to the families to see NASA return to space after the tragedy. Can you tell me a little bit about post-production and how you nailed down the message of the final episode? 

Daniel Junge: We always intended to end redemptively, not only because it’s just a bummer, but because it is ultimately a redemptive story. I think that you have to remember over hundreds of safe flights of the shuttle, most of them after Challenger, means they got some things right and they did some amazing stuff. We want you to get a sense of that both before Challenger and after that. But also when we were constructing it, sometimes you have to muscle things in post to make them feel a certain way, it just spoke. It was redemptive just watching it dry without music. It’s so clear.

The post Netflix Challenger Doc: How The Filmmakers Found Redemption and Optimism From Tragedy appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[evenstevensranked]

#45: Season 2, Episode 13 - “A Very Scary Story”

Annnnd, we’re back! Let the countdown resume. I know y’all remember this one. How could you not?! It’s THE ICONIC HALLOWEEN EPISODE!!! Lawrence Jr. High is holding free eye examinations on Halloween. But, instead of being legit eye exams, students are getting their eyes BURNED OUT OF THEIR SOCKETS?!

It opens with Ren seemingly home alone the night before Halloween watching some knock off of “Psycho.” I like this bit. She yells at the TV, “Honey, you’re getting chased by 6 mutants and you’re just deciding to take a shower?!” — Seriously, though. People in horror films make the dumbest decisions. I think the fake movie footage is hilarious.

Just then, the phone rings. Naturally. And now we get a knock off of “Scream” lol. Whoever’s calling distorts their voice and says “Do you like penguins, Ren? MAHAHAH!” and hangs up. I wonder who that could be. (Sarcasm) Ren is walking around holding a skillet as a weapon which is kinda funny. She looks so uncoordinated with it. Turns out it was just Louis calling from inside the house. Shocking. He comes jumping out at her making what’s supposed to be a “penguin” noise, I guess. I really don’t know. He kinda sounds like Doodlebob, honestly. Obviously, Ren screams and Louis has the audacity to ask “Ren, why are you so jumpy?!?!" I love this line and the way Shia says it. I use it a lot, lol. He claims he just wanted to show her his penguin jockey costume. The costume itself is a true a stroke of genius. But, I’m sure there was a less serial killer way to go about the reveal, lol. This episode definitely gets iconic points for that costume, though. People have gone as penguin jockeys because of Louis: x / x ...Incredible. 

Ren is seriously a wet blanket here. She refers to Halloween as “childish dress up games.” What da heck?! Lighten up. You’re like, 14. I embarrassingly went as Hannah Montana for Halloween freshman year of high school, 2007. Bad idea. But just because I have tan skin and wore a blonde wig, everyone thought I was supposed to be Beyoncé. I constantly had to correct people. I WAS HANNAH MONTANA, DANG FLABBIT!!! The struggle. 

Ren tells Louis that his costume isn’t going to scare anyone. I never thought it was intended to be scary in the first place??? Either way, Donnie comes walking in and Louis makes some more Doodlebob noises at him and Donnie runs away screaming “AHHH! PENGUIN!” Wow. I’m only mentioning this because I read a little trivia that Donnie originally walks in holding a basketball, but when they cut back to him he’s suddenly holding what looks like an inflatable toucan or something?! What?! How do you forget that Donnie was holding a basketball one second and then hand him an inflatable toucan the next?! I do not understand. 

“Wait, what was Donnie the Sports Jock just holding?! It was probably a basketball or something because that makes sense. But, I can’t remember. HERE! Take this INFLATABLE TOUCAN!” ?!?! - Probably the actual thought process that resulted in this ridiculousness. 

At school the next day, we see that LJH takes Halloween VERY SERIOUSLY. Stuff like this gave me unrealistic expectations. If you wore a costume to school growing up, you were a weirdo and people judged you. Not here! They have some intense decorations and the entire school is dressed up! Well, everyone except for Ren — who’s in a freaking pencil skirt and blazer, walking around making sure everyone gets an eye exam.

This school is more ~lit~ than most actual Halloween parties.

We find out that Louis and the gang are planning a prank for the cafeteria: Putting fake eyeballs in the turkey gravy. Yum. Louis shows them the fake eyeballs he bought and says he just got them in overnight from Chico. It’s a small detail but I like that he mentions Chico. The city is also brought up in an earlier episode. I always laugh when Tom tells Louis “I need to get my eyes examined.” Louis says “YOUR EYES EXAMI— Tom, how many fingers am I holding up?!” And Tom has to squint at the fingers RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS FACE in order to give the correct answer. 

“.......Two.” // “Exactly. Your eyes are fine.”

Okay, long story short: Basically, anyone who goes in for an eye exam comes out acting like a robot. Students are walking around with sunglasses on and are suddenly obsessed with drinking milk and following the rules. Tom is the first victim of Louis’ crew. He says “I suddenly got quite a hankering for the Moo Juice. It’s an excellent source of calcium for overall skeletal health.” I FEEL LIKE THAT LINE IS ENGRAINED INTO MY MIND FOREVER! Tom bails on the cafe prank and says “If something like this were to go on our permanent records, it would follow us for the rest of our lives.” THIS LINE NEVER LEFT MY BRAIN EITHER. I feel like this episode was actually Disney propaganda or something, brainwashing us into drinking milk and being good students. Not even gonna lie, when I was young this episode made me crave milk... and I hated milk. *X-Files theme song plays in the distance.*

Tawny and Twitty both get their eyes checked and start saying the same robotic nonsense Tom did. Louis is having none of it, though. He yells “TAKE OFF THE STUPID GLASSES!” and we get one of the most terrifying moments of our childhood...

This is still so disturbing. Show producers Sean McNamara and David Brookwell wrote this episode. I seriously want to track them down and make them explain what gave them the bright idea to traumatize children in this way?!

The classic Louis Scream kicks into full gear here. (see first image of the post) I’m laughing because I just noticed that as he runs away, he whips the butt of the penguin like “giddy up!” as if he’s actually racing on it… Oh my god. As he’s running he shouts “NO ONE’S TAKIN’ MY PEEPERS!” which I always kinda liked, haha.

Louis ends up spying on one of the “eye exams” and the process is revealed! Wexler and Tugnut zap the kids’ eyes and do in fact brainwash them with the milk and permanent record mumbo jumbo. Great. 

Louis is now the only student who hasn’t had an eye exam. Wexler, Tugnut and the whole school are going after him. He calls home in a panic asking for Steve and Eileen to come pick him up before conveniently hiding out in the Penguin bathroom.

His family shows up within like, 10 seconds. Teleportation is the only explanation for this. Louis goes to get his stuff before leaving... but OH NO! Wexler and Tugnut greet Donnie, Steve and Eileen and make them go in for eye exams. This always made me soooo angry as a kid. I felt Louis’ sheer horror and helplessness here tbh. Just then, Ren pops out of nowhere and Louis explains the whole situation to her. She acts like she has no idea what he’s talking about, but all of the robot students start chasing them so she helps him find a place to hide.

“Safe?! For how long, Ren? How long before those eyeless, sunglass-wearing, milk-slurping zombies get in here?!” - ALL I CAN THINK OF IS THE WALKING DEAD. “DON’T OPEN. DEAD INSIDE.” 

Ren leaves Louis alone to see if the coast is clear. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?! Does she not see the horde of zombie students through the windows?! Regardless, Wexler and Tugnut appear and take Louis down to the school’s newly renovated torture-chic basement. (Louis: “When did the school get a dungeon?” Wexler: “Actually it’s an evil lair.”) 

Ren was the ringleader this whole time. She comes walking out looking like THIS and Wexler and Tugnut refer to her as “mistress.” Okay, this is a little creepy now...

Louis looks at the wall and says “R.E.N.....? That’s gotta stand for something.” - I clearly remember laughing at this line when I was little for some reason omg. 

Ren explains that they’re going to turn everyone into “Renplicates” (actual Ren clones) because the world would be a better place if everyone just followed the rules. Okay, maybe that’s true. But, you don’t need to morph everyone into cloNES OF YOURSELF PHYSICALLY!!! Seriously... whaaaa?! lol. Around here Ren says “Tugnut! Turn on the juice!” which Jim Wise recently admitted was an innuendo line that the crew laughed at off camera. Adult jokes on kids shows sort of creep me out though, ngl. 

Anyway, everyone -- including their parents, step into the Renplicator and transform into Ren. 

Everyone except... Louis.

HONESTLY WHAT THE HELL?!?! I never liked thisssssss.

That’s where the story ends. THANK GOD! Turns out it was just Louis telling Beans a scary story. “Beans, you wanted to know what happened last Halloween. So, I told you!” To which Beans responds: 

One of the only Beans lines I like. (x)

And that’s it! There’s a bit at the very end where Beans tries to get away with trick-or-treating at the Stevens house several times by wearing a bunch of different costumes. Donnie answers the door every time and says things like “That’s cute, kid!” and “Haven’t I see you here before already?” IT’S CLEARLY FREAKING BEANS! 

I never understood this. I know Donnie’s dumb but he knows who Beans is. They should’ve just had a random kid do this scene. Using Beans makes NO SENSE. Also, he already raids their kitchen all the time as it is. He doesn’t need to go “undercover” to get candy from the Stevens house, lol. 

That’s the Halloween episode guys! Strangely, not as funny as I remember. Still a classic, though... obviously. I was originally going to rank it in the #30s, solely for the iconic value.. but, when I was deciding on what to put for #45 I just had to put this one here. It’s a “special” episode. So it’s difficult to rank it any higher than this since it’s just a fun one-off, silly, seasonally appropriate episode. Nothing furthers the overall arc of the series here, lol. That’s not the case for all “special” episodes... But, this one sticks out like a sore thumb in comparison to the other 64.  

Did it scar you for life as a kid?! I have to say that this episode and “Don’t Look Under The Bed” (which Larry Beale/Ty Hodges starred in!!!) literally scared the living crap out of me. Apparently DLUTB has actually been banned?! Whoa. To this day, I’m still afraid of some demon boogyman hand grabbing at my ankle...

Thanks for reading! Chime in below. 

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[tumblunni]

Well that sure was a steven universe episode

NAVY YOU TOTAL BASTARD FUCK I have no idea how this worked but the show actually made me cheer for her being revealed as evil?? And like.. so far she is literally the only member of the rubies that IS evil. Like, i mean, defining evil as someone who understands the whole damn thing and willfully chooses to make the bad choice, out of selfish morals. The other ruby squad members are on homeworld’s side yeah but they never seemed EVIL I really am very invested in this twist that the quiet one who did nothing in every other episode except have funny oneliners is actually a sadistic asshole who (for all we know) could have been lying to her teammates too and wants to backstab them as well. I mean wouldnt that be a good villain?? A member of the lowest ruby caste who’s grown used to putting on this fake agreeable persona but is plotting to backstab literally everyone and find some way to rise above her station. Also it’;d be a way she could still have a sympathetic reveal in the end and potentially be redeemed even after refusing this offer of redemption, its a sympathetic motive to become heartless and cruel because you’re treated like a slave by your species and doomed to a life of ‘dumb muscle’. Also it makes up for how the show was all ‘rubies are dumb’ which always kinda bugged me with all the morals about how you can choose what you want to be. i hope maybe someday everyone gets called out on that, now we can potentially have a very smart and manipulative recurring ruby villain! Also it was good to have a shocking twist and a new villain after a while of not much happening but cute slice of life episodes. Not that I dont love them, but theyre more engaging when there’s an ongoing threat to theorize about at the same time. I just REALLY hope navy does actually rise up into being her own recurring villain, instead of just ‘nah shes totally loyal to the ruby squad and she gets them back and now all of them are evil’. I’d wanna see how cool it could be if the ruby squad got to go against her, like maybe steven is trying to convince them that navy is really a backstabber and theyre just like NO WAY SHES TOTALLY LOYAL and then while theyre distracted fighting each other Navy steals a comm device thing like peridot did and sells everyone out to yellow diamond, making sure to mention that all the other rubies were totes incompetant the whole time. It could be so damn cool if Navy ends up persisting throughout the whole story and becomes like an evil vizier to yellow diamond or something?? Also i’d like it if she got a name other than Navy, now we know she prrrrrobably wasnt exactly happy about steven giving her that one. I dunno if she’d have some moniker of her own that she always wanted to be called after years of being treated as interchangeable, or whether she’d insist that she is the one true Ruby and everyone else can just fuck off. And man it could be so cool if this could be a chance to have a more Ruby-centric episode where she gets to have a rivalry and a plotline separate from Sapphire, like how sapphire mostly handled the homeworld zoo on her own.

Oh and I also liked the plotline of lapis getting really confused and self hating when seeing someone else seemingly recover faster than her, thats quite damn relateable to people who have depression. In this case it seemed more like lapis was projecting though, I think even if navy’s nice persona was real its not like theyre on equal footing. Lapis was depressed and traumatized, navy just simply wasnt. Its not ‘oh navy can get over it faster’, its just that navy was never depressed in the first place. And people have different personalities, so different things can be scarier to them, I felt so bad at lapis feeling like she was weak cos it was scary to her when she got here. And MAN I felt like laughing too at the end! It was a good way to make the ending not 100% sad if we can at least have the consolation of a joke afterwards. Also it helps the audience get even more fuckin mad at navy, jesus christ! And I felt semi proud that I started seeing the twist coming as the episode went on, it was just like Navy’s persona started becoming less ‘actual happy person’ and more ‘asshole Neurotypical with a capital N who thinks that everyone can just choose to stop being depressed’. One of those people who says horrible things and thinks because they’re saying it ‘politely’ its ‘just my opinion’ and anyone who gets offended is the bad guy. Tho I could have also liked this plot equally well if it turned out navy was legit about being reformed, and legitimately was an optimistic person, and her and lapis could have worked out their differences by talking about it. It was just a lot more cathartic this way if lapis’s anxieties had to be resolved in a short runtime, yknow? And seriously it makes Navy so much more hateable when you imagine her as one of those ‘sure, jan’ soccer mom type characters. Fluoride in the water caused my son’s autism, Lapis!

Also I dunno how they managed to make this twist not make me angry?? I mean, I really liked Navy in previous episodes and totally assumed she really was the one nice guy teammate of the rubies rather than the sole truly horrid one. I think I just didnt get as much frothing rage as I did when i thought peridot was betraying the team, cos we didnt really see enough of navy. Like.. we didnt KNOW if she was good or not, it was just a foolish assumption based on superficial evidence about how she acts. It seems more like a moral of not doing that, rather than ‘heres someone you love who is a friend and good and here’s 30 episodes of them being awesome and WHOOPS it was all a lie and that person doesnt even exist’. That’s a hard thing to come back from, a similar plotline ruined my experience of Soul Nomad And The World Eaters cos it seemed like the betrayer character got forgived too easily while not really earning it. A good twist deserves more effort put in if you wanna backpedal it!

[sherlockgayaturgy]

wait, how is sherlock writers and the johnlock audience an abusive relationship?

Hey there anon! I’m really glad you asked this question, because I’ve been mulling over some thoughts for a while now and been wanting to do a big post about it for some time. My answer is going to be long – I’ll put a TL;DR at the bottom if you just want the short version.

Long version:

Before I get into things, I want to provide this definition of psychological abuse:

Psychological abuse (also referred to as psychological violence, emotional abuse ormental abuse) is a form of abuse, characterized by a person subjecting, or exposing, another person to behavior that may result in psychological trauma, including anxiety, chronic depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder.

That’s a pretty loose definition. You could make the argument that you don’t know someone is engaging in behavior that another person is triggered by, so it’s a pretty slippery slope. If someone were to show me a picture of a spider because they thought it was cool and they didn’t know that I am severely arachnophobic, would that be a form of abuse? Probably not. If they did it with the intention to cause me pain however, that’s another story.

So the question we have to ask ourselves is this: do Mark Gatiss and Steven Moffat knowingly engage in abusive behavior with their fanbase? How do we determine that when we’re looking at a creator to fan relationship rather than an intimate person to person one?

Well, we look at their words an actions regarding their relationship to their fans. And there is. A lot.

Moffat and Gatiss’s troublesome relationship to their fans isn’t actually just within the Johnlock/TJLC community, and it isn’t even specific just to Sherlock. Moffat got into big trouble with regards to representation on Doctor Who when he first took over (and the BBC have since pressed him to do better on that front after so many people complained.)

First off, Moffat is pretty famous for not being able to take criticism, in any form. He regularly lashes out at people (fans and professional critics alike) who question the decisions he makes. Gatiss isn’t much better on this front, though he’s certainly more diplomatic about things IMO. There is, however, this line that he delivered:

“I did a phone-in after the Christmas special a few years ago and someone said [Sherlock] was too complicated for people to follow. I said, ‘Oh, go and pour some warm paste into your mouth….Go and read a children’s book with hard pages if you don’t want to be challenged. We’re making the show we want to make. We don’t make it a certain way because fans are pressuring us.” [x]

This is coming out of an interview where someone said aspects of The Final Problem didn’t make sense. Which is true, and that’s not because fans weren’t paying attention. If you know anything about the hardcore Sherlock fandom, you know that we pay attention to details in the show. And much of what happened in The Final Problem didn’t relate back to previous episodes. It seemed like a slap-dash attempt to explain problems that were too big for the writers to cleverly explain (even though a lot of TJLCers had a much simpler explanation for these events). But Moffat and Gatiss are adament: they do NOT want to hear criticism from anybody – and it’s not just TJLCers who didn’t like the episode.

Second point: they lie. Repeatedly. Enthusiastically. They love lying. It’s one of their top tactics for keeping fans excited about what’s to come. Here’s a few quotes:

Steven Moffat (regarding DW’s 50th Anniversary Special:  “I’ve been lying my arse off for months — you know nothing!” [x]

(Steven Moffat also said at a panel about The Abominable Bride that people believed him when he said it had nothing to do with the rest of the series because he said that, i.e. he lied but I cannot find that link right now).

So it’s not really a question that people would of course also assume that they’re lying when asked about explicit Johnlock. They admit they lie, they admit they use it as one of their main spoiler prevention tactics, and they admit to doing so quite gleefully.

Now we come to the big issue: is this abusive behavior? I already talked about abuse needing to be done in an intentionally malicious fashion. Well, here’s some evidence to suggest Moffat and Gatiss do so with the intention NOT to create good television, but to mess with their audiences:

Mark Gatiss: It’s good to play games on people.

Steven Moffat: There’s something really cool about scaring children. Traumatize a generation. That’s what it’s all about.

Steven Moffat: See what I’m writing now? People are going to cry. CRY!

And many more.

Now, with regards specifically to Johnlock and the TJLC sections of the fandom.

Speaking as one of them, I can say that one of the main pieces of evidence for TJLC relied upon the above argument that the showrunners lie. We encouraged one another not to ask questions about johnlock at panels because, TPTB would of course lie. So it’s not surprising to me at all that a large portion of TJLCers continue to believe that the showrunners are lying, even now, and that our “rug pull moment” is still coming. Many more people are choosing to believe in order to cope with the crushing realization that we were queerbaited by two men, one of whom happens to be gay himself. Gatiss admitted in a 2010 Buzz article that he loved playing with the homoerotic tension between Sherlock and John. Both Moffat and Gatiss recently admitted at the Cambridge Q&A that they may have taken the gay jokes too far. That’s a devastating thing to have to come to terms with for the section of the fandom that identifies as LGTBQ+.

Which brings me to the final part of the above definition: the effects on the abuse victim. We were psychologically traumatized by this event to varying degrees. Some people were relatively okay but experiencing sadness or anger. Some people lost sleep, found their eating habits changed, or were unable to work on other things because of this. As someone who has been an admin on the TJLC Support Group blog, I’ve personally seen messages from people who were harming themselves because of what happened. The LGTBQ+ community is already a vulnerable one, and many of the Sherlock fandom in particular are on the younger side.

All the elements of psychological abuse are present. This is not a trivial matter.

TL;DR Moffat and Gatiss exhibit classic psychological abuser characteristics in the way they approach fans of their work (not just the Johnlockers in the Sherlock fandom). They lie to prevent spoilers. They take joy in seeing people get upset. They react extremely negatively to any form of criticism. Johnlock fans (especially those who identify as LGTBQ+) are particularly susceptible to this behavior because of the inherent vulnerability of their community. Moffat and Gatiss have admitted recently that the whole Johnlock affair was based upon a joke that got out of control, and that has had devastating psychological consequences for many in this section of the fandom.