#perpollo incorrect quotes

[athenaareia]

the archer and the knight incorrect quote inspired by my latest installment:

Apollo and Rhea, many years in the future, seen through a Seven reunion-

Annabeth: so how drunk was he?

Rhea: well... he asked me if I was single. I said no.

Piper, leaning forward: and then?

Rhea: Apollo started crying, so I felt bad.

Jason, who is HERE for the gossip: so what did you do?

Rhea: I reminded him I wasn't single because I was married to him.

Frank: so everything turned out fine, right?

Rhea: well... after I told him, he went to find our marriage certificate and tried to destroy it-

Hazel: why?

Rhea: saying "good luck returning me without the receipt!"

Leo, as a screwdriver falls out of his mouth: no freakin' way

[relovaaa]

Artemis: I do NOT have a soft spot for Percy!! Demos: When Percy and Apollo started dating, you gave Apollo the shovel talk. Artemis: Well, my brother has a literal garden of lovers, obviously it was necessary! Demos: Not to mention, when Apollo visits, you go outside of your tent to greet him and you never let him stay long. Demos: Percy has a bed inside your tent for whenever he visits, and he's stayed with you and your Hunters for weeks on end. Demos: Just admit it, Arty. Artemis: No 😒

[sodamnbored]

Percy, enjoying summer vacation: That’s seven glorious days without a crazy person in my life.

Apollo, rolling up to his front door: Percy! I need your help!

Percy, sighing: It was nice while it lasted.

[dorimei]

apollo: wheres nico? will: he said something about buying a flamethrower. by the way, where's percy? apollo: i don't know, probably with nico. and don't you need to be over 18 to buy a flamethrower? will: oh gods apollo: oh no

[luciajacksonpapadopoulos]

Percy: How do you politely tell someone you want to hit them with a brick?

Apollo: One wishes to acquaint your facial features with a fundamental item used in building walls, repeatedly.

Percy, with heart eyes: That was probably the best poetry I’ve ever heard from you.

[panevanbuckley]

Percy: a mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it.

Percy: and I started thinking.

Percy: like, it was just trying to get food.

Percy: what if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck?

Apollo: are you ok?

[ironmischeifgoddess]

Percy: Hey can you turn on the light?

Apollo: You’re the only light I need in my life

Percy: Apollo, I can’t fucking see

[athenaareia]

yet ANOTHER archer and the knight incorrect quote:

Apollo: going to pick up my wife from her murder trial.

Apollo: of course she did it. Why do you think I married her?

[athenaareia]

will: i will obnoxiously stuff self-care in you. rhea: you don't know how good i am at self-destructing, kiddo.

OR

chapter eight is out!!

[athenaareia]

can't believe I never did this for my perpollo-

Apollo: I don't know what it's about crushes. Whenever I'm near mine, I always end up acting dumb.

Rhea, confused: Apollo, you're always acting dumb.

Apollo: Yeah, don't- don't think too much on it.

[relovaaa]

Apollo: Nice hands, Percy. Percy: Uh... thanks? Apollo: I bet they'd look better wrapped around my- Triton, not wanting a repeat of Rhode and Helios: wrAPPED AROUND THE BIBLE PRAISE THE LORD AMEN *douses Apollo in white-hot water* Aristo: Triton you are literally a Greek god, I don't think you can be saying that... Triton: PRAISE THE FUCKING LORD ARISTO *grabs Percy and runs*

[athenaareia]

Please consider: Apollo trying to flirt with Rhea by singing sea shanties to her (mostly got this idea by listening to Star of the County Down while playing AC Black Flag)

okay that is. a very fun idea. sure why not.

apollo: THERE ONCE WAS A SHIP THAT WAS LOST AT SEA-

rhea, adorably confused: huh?

everyone else: he- she- is he... flirting? oh gods we're gonna have to hear this everyday until she realises.

poseidon: STAB, child.

triton, from behind: nooooo. not my other baby sister too.

[athenaareia]

alright so. in the near future, imagine rhea and her cousins from sally's side.

Rhea, opening the door to her apartment: hello people who do not live here.

Raj: hi

Rahul: hello

Riddhi: heyyyy

Rhea: I gave you that key for emergencies.

Riddhi: there was an emergency.

Rahul, holding up a packet: we were out of doritos.

Raj: *nods empathetically*

[athenaareia]

incorrect quote for archer and the knight that won't leave my mind

Rhea: Your shoelaces are untied, let me just fix that for you-

Apollo: *confusion* but I'm not wearing shoelaces??

Rhea: *gets down on one knee*

Rhea: *takes out a ring*

Rhea: Surprise, bitch.

bonus reaction:

Apollo: *on the verge of crying* yes, of- wait, that's the ring I was going to propose with!

Rhea: yeah, you left it on the bedside table where anyone could see it.

[athenaareia]

posted the newest installment of archer and the knight series. get ready for the rhea jackson character study. sorta.

please handle with care. there's trauma in it.

rhea: i need hugs and all i got is trauma. by the time i began to get hugs, i have started believing that i probably don't deserve hugs.

--

rhea: *is feral* jason: *is also feral* both: best friends forever!!!

[relovaaa]

Things Demos and Percy have said/done that just make sense

(I apologize for once again yapping about a fic that hasn't been published)

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(FaceTiming the gang from Elysium)

Demos: ...yeah, so then Hyacinthus told everybody about the time when - HOLY SHIT PERCY WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

Percy: *walking on the River Lethe like he's Jesus*

Demos: PERSEUS MERCURY ACHILLES JACKSON FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THE GODS THAT HAVE WANTED TO GET YOU IN BED GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM THERE!!!

Percy: *while being pulled back by Daphne and Adonis* There was MORE OF THEM?!

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Demos: Why the FUCK is there a naked Apollo on my Tumblr dash, it's EIGHT IN THE MORNING! (based on a true story)

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(watching a video about Hestia with everybody)

Lady in video: Hestia was wanted by both Poseidon and Apollo-

Percy: *sighs* *gets up* *leaves room* *has a mental breakdown* *comes back in* Continue...

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Demos: *wakes Percy up by standing on his bed in a disco suit while playing Stayin' Alive* (iykyk)

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Percy: *casually becomes besties with Hyacinthus and Daphne and scares Apollo shitless*

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Percy: *casually performs SIX with Clytie, Koronis, Hyacinthus, Daphne, and Adonis and once again scares Apollo shitless*

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(when Nico inevitably got kidnapped by the bitch-ass twin giants)

Percy and Will: *crying together in the Poseidon cabin*

Demos: *outside, screaming at the sky* APOLLO GET YOUR SUNSHINY ASS DOWN HERE YOUR SON-IN-LAW GOT KIDNAPPED AND YOUR CHILD NEEDS COMFORT!

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(talking about that one time when he and Apollo were trapped together on Delos for 30 years) (y'all will get some of the lore soon)

Demos: I think that's the longest he's ever gone without fucking someone.

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(before we end this I gotta give an honourable mention to this iconic Aristo moment)

Aristo, finding out about Apollo and Percy: *judo flips Apollo* *shoves a gun in his mouth* *curses him out in German*

She did this for a good four or five minutes before Demos and Leto successfully pulled him off.

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Might do a pt.2 at some point.