#pipe dream right?
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I hate letting shitty people take up real estate in my brain, but sometimes the bastards refuse to leave.
#thinking once again about the dude i met on a dating app#who went on a red flag speed run for 2 weeks#before deciding that i was too much trouble and he was still in love with his ex#and informing me that i needed to accept that in my position a relationship was a pipe dream#but also we could totally still be fuck buddies if i was up for it#like#i am very aware that schmuck is not worth the mental energy#but the gall to be like 'oh yeah all my free time is devoted to my kids and my ex-wife that i am not in any way over'#'but your familial responsibilities and lack of a car means you're the problem'#'and also means you should accept you'll never find anyone who'll like you enough to make any compromise for your situation'#'anyway wanna watch me jerk off?'#like jesus christ dude#thoughts and prayers for your ex#also the same guy who declared being lonely surely did not bother me as much as him bc by now i was 'used to it'#no great loss#but for about a day and a half it was nice to think a reasonably attractive guy would be interested in me#but y'know#pipe dream right?
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FUCK IT!!!! I MISS WHEN MY MINECRAFT SERVERS HAD CULTURAL EXCHANGE IN THEM!!!! I MISS WHEN MY MINECRAFT SERVERS HAD LANGUAGE BARRIERS IN THEM!!!!! I MISS WHEN WE WERE ALL CRAMMED IN A PIT TOGETHER SCREAMING AND SHAKING AND SOBBING AND CONFUSED AS ALL HELL SITTING IN THE TUMBLR LIVEBLOGS HOLDING HANDS AS WE ALL EXPLAINED WHAT THINGS MEANT, WHAT THE REAL WORLD CULTURAL CONTEXT WAS, WHAT WAS GOING ON IN BITS THE TRANSLATOR COULDN'T GET!!!!! FUCK IT!!!!!!! I'LL TAKE ANOTHER GODDAMN PURGATORY!!!!! GIVE ME A BUNCH OF PEOPLE FORMING SIX PERSON FAMILIES OVER THE SPAN OF THREE TO FIVE DAYS!!!!!!!! GIVE ME THE EVIL SHADOW GOVERNMENT THAT NEVER MADE ANY GODDAMN SENSE, GIVE ME THE STUPID FUCKING EYE WORKERS THAT WERE AGGRAVATINGLY UNBEATABLE, GIVE ME THE CONFUSING ASS BLACK CONCRETE STRUCTURES THAT WENT BASICALLY FUCKING NOWHERE!!!!!! I'LL TAKE IT ALL IF IT MEANS I GET A FRENCH MAN AND A GUY FROM LUXEMBOURG AND A WOMAN FROM SOUTH KOREA SHOOTING THE SHIT IN A MINECRAFT PIT STARTER HOUSE AGAIN!!!!!!!!!! I'LL TAKE IT IF I GET BRAZILIAN PORTUGUESE AND FRENCH AND ENGLISH AND SPANISH SITTING AT A FUCKING TABLE IN A SECRET UNDERGROUND MEETING ROOM THEORIZING ABOUT A MINECRAFT CHARACTER WITH AN APPEARANCE BASED ON A JOKE ABOUT A GUY'S DOG BEING AN AMERICAN CONSERVATIVE!!!!!!! GIVE IT BACK!!!!!!!!! GIVE IT BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!
#NOT THE ADMIN EXPLOITATION THO THAT CAN STAY GONE#block game brainrot#shut up vic#qsmp#im in my feels idk the qsmp really struck a chord in me#that nothing has really been able to refill i'm ngl#i really miss the brain workout i got trying to keep up with the cross cultural multilingual stuff#and it's not the same if i just watch the streamers in languages i don't understand#bc on qsmp it was like. i can watch the pov of a streamer coming from the same language background as me#and then i know that if i'm lost so are they and then i don't feel like i'm floundering alone#but like i don't have that anymore :( i miss it a lot#it was so funny and it was so earnest and i really FELT IT#it was a whirlwind and it was so exhausting and there's bits that ethically probably should never be repeated (eggs)#but i wouldn't want it to be different (except the workers rights violations; again those can go)#idk all these fucking duos that sound like absolute pipe dream crossover nonsense and are fully viable#it's nuts and it's beautiful and i miss how fucking WILD that was#i'll never not be upset that the koreans and hugo barely even got a MOMENT#i was so excited to see how they would interact with and respond to the overall island lore like the federation and the codes#ughhhhh anyway it's 4am i'm in my feels nothing has really engaged me the way qsmp did#i really enjoyed the challenge of the culture and language barrier bc i really had to ENGAGE with the streams#in a way i don't normally and in a way i haven't since#i miss it :( also slimeriana. that too. fucking hilarious. can we get them in the outlast trials.#add cellbit and roier call it a double date what who said that#(that's a joke to be clear but not the part about the outlast trials they should do that those streams were peak)#anyway uhhhhh if you read these good fortune is coming to you soon#long tags
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Devsis definitely should hire you to storyboard their cutscenes. You’re such an amazing and creative artist that we desperately need in these trying times. The sudden decline of handmade animations or any animations in general in favor of AI is really disheartening. Individuals like you are what gives me a bit of hope that not all is lost and that there is indeed room for creators make a name for themselves.
This is so sweet, thank you so much 😭 I cannot stress enough how much I appreciate it 💕
I am also very adamantly against AI replacing real world artists, so I will ALWAYS keep creating with my own hands and my own brain, and will ALWAYS support the other incredibly talented artists I get the chance to share the world with in any way that I can
#it's definitely a pipe dream but I would love to board an official cutscene one day#they're expanding the cookie run brand right.... surely they'll make a tv show one day.... and surely they'll hire me..... of course....#(delusional)#mailbox
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in the name of love
amn double post today? insane considering that it's me. anyways i finished 2.2 penacony quest and ARGHGHFGJKHSKGHFSJ SUNDAY WHY WHY WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DO THE WRONG THINGS FOR THE RIGHT REASONS WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS arhgh it makes me grab my knees and scream... sunday... you poor, broken, megalomaniac, soft-hearted madman...
textless/closeups below keep reading
#artwork#digital art#doodle#art#rkgkillust#hsr#hsr art#hsr fanart#sunday#hsr sunday#sunday honkai star rail#penacony#hsr penacony#hsr spoilers#i can't decide if i want to hc him as being absolutely blind to the flaws in his reasoning and just blindly having faith in his beliefs#or him knowing that what he's doing wrong but persisting anyways because admitting he's wrong would mean letting them go#sunday and robin being foils to each other... aaaa...#the way robin woke up from the dream because she realized sunday ever agreeing with her ideals was just a pipe dream...#mr sunday “i do all the wrong things for the right reasons” wood#robin's realization broke my heart tbh#sunday would break her wings to keep her safe and she would die in that cage he made for her#i should draw that#i should draw the other things i promised to draw first though LMAO
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All ya'll awesome artists inspired me to pick up my last chapter art after two years of it collecting dust. Figures are halfway there, background is getting closer. I am determined to have Shakarian art done by the time this fic finishes...
(ignore that I don't know when that will be either 😆)
#i have ideas for other illustrations from other chapters#shepard swimming naked under the moonlight#garrus looking on helplessly by the shore#pipe dreams right now#mass effect#artwork#fic illustration#taproot#last chapter#shakarian
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the inherent cruelty of a world in which I am sososososososo sleepy and at the same time not allowed to sleep
#really truly being personally victimized by my job right now#also woke up thinking it was Friday RIP to that pipe dream💀#I am the sleepiest girl in the world today#mads complains
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people being scared over sonic movie spoilers is so funny to me like. i get it logically but also. literally i do not care they could spend half the movie on a still frame of shadow the hedgehog drawn by a two year old and end revealing tommy turtle will be all the next movie is about and I’d still be hype as shit and making theories. and you could tell and show me that and i also would not care. i mean i know it’s been leaked and I’m avoiding that shit but that’s literally just bc I don’t wanna accidentally spoil it for anyone bc again. you could do anything and I’d be hyped as shit. the whole movie could be big the cat fishing and I’d reblog the hell out of that and be extremely fucking excited. they could include fucking Locke and Geoffrey St John and I’d tolerate them. you do not understand the depths of my insanity over this franchise i do not give a fuck.
#I mean. They couldn’t include Locke and Geoffrey St John. unless they like signed a deal with Ken penders#and I think it’s similar with tommy turtle#So there’s like. Games and IDW to pick from. Maybe StC if they still have rights for that shit but I doubt it#there’s a few characters from Archie they have the rights to but again I doubt it. and the OVA is in licensing limbo#I guess there’s also like X Boom and Prime but I doubt it#and we are not getting characters from the 1992 manga. except Amy and Charmy I guess since they debuted in that#There’s probably more sonic continuities out there that add characters but again we’re not getting anything from those#We r getting either a games or IDW character bc they’re the only shit SEGA makes merch for. and IDW is a pipe dream just also like. possinl#Prime is also vaguely possible but again pipe dream#So we got the game cast and they’re all sick as hell so who fucking cares#Also like IK the basic plot bc I have played. The Game It Is Based On.#Obviously it’s not going to be The Same but like. i know the beats.
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Thinking about that time I told an old coworker that we could live in a world that actually allows for the dignity and well-being of everyone and they said that I'd probably be happier in a commune
#real life#I still stand by what I said like seven years ago#heaven COULD be a fucking place on earth right here where we live#it's not actually a pipe dream#not everyone is a fucking anprim some of us want to go to fucking raves!!!
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Might be worth trying a very temporary dye to test out having black hair? & then if you don't like it you can get rid of it without all the drama?
There is not a black dye on this EARTH that is ACTUALLY temporary and actually delivers results that look anywhere close to black. it's either staying forever, or it's going to come out greyish blue, or BOTH if ya nasty
#I think this idea is going to remain a pipe dream forever because I would look INSANEEEEEE#the second my roots start growing out w black hair#and with my LIGHT. ASS. EYELASHES.#what people with black hair forget is that you got eyelashes. god gave you eyelashes#god didn't give dutch people eyelashes. we were SKIPPED.#sergle answers#temporary dyes are a Lie nothing FULLY washes out#the only truly temporary dye is Photoshop#plus red just looks so so so Right on me
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yall ever rewatch a movie so good you breakdown crying and remember the meaning of life???
#this post is about la la land im so sorry#FUCK i love movies so much you guys don't understand. the color. the music.#i watched la la land at 18 and it permanently changed my brain#'what if this is just a pipe dream for me?'#WHAT IF I JUMPED OFF A BRIDGE!!!!#im very emotional right now im so sorry
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so weird when people recognise comedians for their “iconic roles” that i know predominantly as Guy from my Podcasts. not in a “i know this person better than u” way but in a “i feel like we know entirely different people” way
#i guess podcasts kinda humanise people in ways that tv shows dont#like what do u mean ur excited to see him without having heard him talk unfiltered for multiple hours#this is about jason but i feel like this happens more than im ever prepared for#also reminds me of when ppl call paul f tompkins mr peanutbutter or act like hes a sweet jolly little man because he wears top hats#like clearly u have not listened to threedom#people with top hats can say fuck and be bitchy too!!!!#justice for pft being typecast as the tm assisstant rather than giving him his rightful place on the throne#this is all just a pipe dream of course#i swear im normal about podcasts guys#mrrow
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noticed recently that the little hairs over my lip have darkened and thickened somewhat. feel like if i ever went on T i'd have SUCH a majestic moustache
#makes sense right? if i have hairs there even w/o it? and my dad is fully capable of growing a super thick beard sooooooo#how to animate your skeleton#i'll take pipe dreams for 100 alex
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lacing up my clown shoes for ace attorney 7 tomorrow
#if there is any good in this world it will be tgaa investigations but i know that's a pipe dream#a spinoff of a spinoff would be funny tho#i just need capcom to know that if athena isn't the main character im going to-#my lawyer has advised me not to finish that sentence#but anyway that person was right you can absolutely smell it in the air#the ports and localizations are to -in part- drum up hype
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so i didn't finish the paper on time but on the plus side i Almost know how to play mahjong now
#im like 8 volumes into kaiji pt 3#which is 50 chapters deeper than i was the day before#anyway it's good but im definitely going to it as part of a sluggish avert mine eyes type dopamine struggle#i also havent slept well in a few days and ive become a total baby when it comes to that like i Cant function right anymore#when im a certain amount of tired#the like 12 hours in the car this weekend didn't help with the good restful sleep thing#i fought and fought and fought myself and in the end it's just gonna be a day late. mot that it had to be but it will be#and although i can't see the prof's late work policy i think that's gonna be okay. hopefully#but ughhtjhfhhghjghj im so tired still. ive been sleeping in like 20 min fragments trying to get this done#just woke up from a cool three hours and im (believe it or not) still tired#i havent done the 40 pg reading and i am NOT bullshitting my way through that class i am going. to bed#i know i shouldnt but i cant care rn i'll drag myself to japn and do late work all afternoon but i gotta sleep between those#anyway fukum.oto has a special way of making kaiji cringe that makes me extra fond#like watching kaiji scramble around on the floor trying to find his tiles absolutely freaking out and everyone laughing at him#was so good. he was being too confident this arc he needed to be reduced to smth horribly pitiful that he has to drag himself back together#from y'know? thats part of the fun#ANYWAY i couldn't do that shit kaiji and miyoshi are doing for many reasons but the attention span sure is one#also idk if it's the translation or what but the r slur keeps jumpscaring me in ways that are funny to me for the absurdity#thats a chapter title??? that Doesn't Belong in the chapter title??????!!! anyway#yk when you're so surprised and put off by smth you just. cackle about it? like laughing at a funeral or whatever#it's like that#buh. anyway god im so tired#ive been doing so well this semester but it looks like it's starting. the snowballing.#well hopefully i can dig myself out today after a 14 hr nap. get all that late work And my readings done yk#(<- pipe dream alert pipe dream alert)
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having a bad time
#can’t stop thinking about how bad i feel#both emotionally and physically#and then when i try to stop thinking about it and just feel it#it becomes completely unbearable#keep thinking about how i’ve ended up so alone/lonely again#and how much i cannot comprehend or accept or tolerate that#and then i’m just like well all this pain is too much for me to bear#so i wish i just didn’t exist instead#i will probably never get out of feeling this way#and like i knowwww i will eventually and feelings pass and pain passes or at least changes#but i will end up back in the same feeling or at least a similar one#that is inevitable#and i feel like i’ve not only reached my limit with myself#but like the world has reached its limit with me#i feel like there is nothing left for me unless i create it myself#maybe that’s just reality#but i feel like no one else cares about what i create#and maybe i’m wrong but i’m too scared to share it or even TRY to do it#because i can’t handle more of the same#humans NEED each other right?#but i have just been left behind too many times#and i can’t go through this again and again#i’m too tired#sometimes i really wish my health scare last summer just killed me for good#sorry for all of this lol#i hate being so traumatized that i can’t fucking function at a baseline#i hate being so sick nothing i do mattwrs#even resting is impossible#i rest in hope that i might not get worse and that’s the only illusion of control i have#the idea of getting better feels like a pipe dream at this point
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wips list for the end of march
nevermore (145/300k, edit complete)
queenmaker (16 chapters written)
FNF (8/10k)
leave part 2
what the water brought (25/50k)
boxer!minho? dlc? something
sick fic (handed to keeps, godspeed)
the gone and the gathered ch 3&4
valleys (complete rewrite)
tgbyb ch 5
tsotl end part 1
darling don't wake up x4
goldmine goldmine (landmine) (6/40k)
soul is yours to keep/zelda fic
draculas
the finished things list! raise a glass!
leave part 1
lyre lyre
#could boxer minho be an smau?#can i do a dystopia smau?#HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM#keeps when you see this tell me the thoughts#RAIN when you see this tell me your thoughts#also zom mom i did not forget you#you're on an absolute roll with the angst rn#but don't get distracted from thinking about your smau by thinking about my dystopia#but tell me#everyone#tell me what you think#dystopia? smau?#it could be interesting hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm#anyway we don't have time for that right now#what have we got to do immediately#qm and nevermore of course#i've been whacking away at wtwb again for some reason#most of the stuff at the bottom is just#a pipe dream except the random scene i wrote for goldmine the other day#and the two novels#those i have to start working on really soon#i was just trying to get nevermore back on track and then valleys shifts right up the priorities list#roo writes
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