#pixel art really is just about moving the same two pixels around for hours trying to understand what works best

[xamag-draws]

what if they were so so tiny

[sexhaver]

ive been playing Cassette Beasts for a minute and it never stops being funny to me how flagrant they are about making this "Pokemon but with features you didn't know Pokemon has always needed". off the top of my head:

super effective/NVE hits have added benefits/debuffs beyond just doubling/halving the damage (hitting Electric types with Ground reduces their evasion and speed, hitting Steel types with Poison gives them poison-coated spikes that do contact damage, etc)

legally-distinct-Pokemon will learn new moves while in your party without having to battle, and you can then straight up steal these moves from them and put them on a not-Pokemon you actually care about using, which gives an actual incentive to hunt down and raise otherwise fringe not-mons beyond completing the not-Pokedex

we all played the Pokemon Infinite Fusion fangame right? we know how fusions work? okay so this game has them as temporary per-battle things instead of permanent ones, which is only marginally less cool while being infinitely easier to balance around

attempting to catch something shows you the percentage chance of success so you know whether you just got unlucky or if you should save your Pokeballs-i-mean-blank-cassette-tapes

leveling up is tied to your not-trainer instead of your not-pokemon, so you don't end up in the classic trap where your starter is way overleveled and everything else is underleveled and then you hit a fight your starter can't solo and have to spend an hour grinding to get the weaker not-mons up to par (funnily enough most Pokemon Nuzlocke romhacks have already figured this out and give you infinite rare candies with the only restriction being that you can't level past the next gym leader's ace pokemon, because Pokemon fans have realized that grinding is the worst part of the game way before Game Freak has)

moves, not-Pokeballs, not-PokeCenter visits, and healing items are all bought using entirely separate currencies which stops you from trivially breaking the economy in half

the soundtrack, fittingly, is pretty good! the vocals were a bit much for my taste but there's an option in the settings menu to straight up turn them off (letting the BGM play on its own), which i've never seen in any other game and really appreciate

downsides:

on a game design level, i understand why can i only carry a max of 5 not-Potions and 1 not-Revive at a time - it's to put a limit on how far away from fast travel points i can get by just running away from everything and healing off damage. on a gameplay level, however, this feels pretty bad

the pixel art style is trying to look as much like Pokemon as possible without actually being Pokemon so the overworld sprites look more like beta stuff from Pokemon that they cut for looking too weird. i have yet to find a haircut that doesn't look bad

this is super petty of me but something about the bloom and lighting of the 3d environments combined with pixelated 2d sprites that still cast shadows makes me painfully aware im playing a video game. it's like they were going for the same aesthetic as Octopath Traveler but fell just barely short. i can't think of a better way to articulate this feeling but if you know you know

it does that really obnoxious half-assed style of voice acting where plot-relevant characters will sometimes (maybe every third or fourth textbox) speak the first two or three words of dialogue before trailing off. mashing through textboxes (as one does) means constantly getting jumpscared by "hmm"s and "haha!"s "okay then!"s

i get that they wanted to make the player feel involved in the story, and it has a pretty decent hook so far, but oh my god. the amount of dialogue "choices" that just transparently do not matter. you know how people memed on Fallout 3 and 4's dialogue choices all leading to the same outcome, to the extent that you were basically choosing between "yes" and "yes (rude)"? and you know how Bethesda would at least attempt to justify how both options led to you accepting the quest anyways, even if it was really dumb? Cassette Beasts has streamlined this process even further by making the options in most of their binary decisions so identical that they don't even require different followup dailogue before rejoining into the main conversation thread. a solid 2/3rds of the dialogue options in this game so far feel like checks that you're still awake. i know this is a minor issue because people aren't playing Pokemon-likes for the engaging "choices matter" approach to storytelling, and i did ignore it at first, but it's so pervasive that you really can't ignore it

[rin-bellatrix]

Smitten

"It might not be the right time. I might not be the right one. But there's something about us I want to say. 'Cause there's something between us anyway." - Daft Punk

Rhys recovers his lost boot from the con woman with a ruby smile, and as she teases him about his fashion, he's struck with the realization that she's actually kind of fun. And pretty... Really pretty.

Written for @admiralsweko bc it's her bday today - HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWE~!! 🥳🎉🎂🍾🎁🎈💕✨

Header art by ourwarbird (deactivated 🕊)

Lace divider from this post. Pixel heart dividers from this post. White dot divider from this post. Reblog and feedback divider from this post.

Written because inspiration struck due to the pic below that came from a post that Sweko had reblogged for another of her otps

Enjoy! 💙❤

Through the cracked windshield of the caravan, the barren, desolate plains of Pandora's vast desert rushed by and Rhys was at least a little bit grateful that he and Vaughn weren't making this journey on foot. And also, not alone.

The sound of easy conversation carried over to him from somewhere in the back of the vehicle, words lost on his idle mind but the calm tone was enough to keep him from worrying. At least they were all past the point of trying to kill each other. Even Athena wasn't so scary after a few board games to pass the time. (She was still scary, just on a lesser scale. Not that Rhys would ever say that to her face.)

For now, the sandy scenery whizzed by and out of sight of his peripheral. Honestly speaking, driving through a path that looked the same as it did the last hour and the hour before was driving the company man to boredom. There was only one seat up front and therefore only a need for one person. He was alone while everyone else socialized behind him.

Even Jack was quiet, laying low because he didn't want to draw Athena's attention to the fact that maybe he wasn't as gone as she would've liked. So Rhys was left in solitude, watching dunes and skag dens and occasional rakks above passing by for the nth time.

He huffed a drawn out sigh, settling his chin into the cradle of his propped up hand as the other remained steady on the curve of the steering wheel. He was fighting back a yawn when something heavy was tossed at him from the edge of his vision.

The sudden movement and weight of the unknown object hitting his chest and falling into his lap made him shoot to full alertness, his foot automatically easing down on the brakes as he glanced down to see what had struck him. It took a second, but the sleek design of expensive rakk leather made him recognize his own heeled boot, the one he had lost when he flew out of the caravan.

Confusion caused him to look up and over, his wandering gaze landing immediately on the con woman who was leaning casually against the dash. She pretended indifference to his obvious stare, until she happened to glance his way and caught his eye. She flashed him a cheeky grin and it was the first time she had ever smiled at him.

She was... Really pretty, actually...

Dismissing that thought immediately because - where had that come from (and what good could acknowledging this do?), he picked up his displaced shoe and the memory of being ripped from the relative safety of a moving vehicle came to mind. How he felt for just a moment, completely weightless, like when he and his best friend had left Helios and had breached the stratosphere of this planet, recalling the odd feeling of zero gravity that made his stomach lurch.

He was abruptly caught, Fiona's grip around his ankle the only thing keeping both Hyperion men from getting swallowed up by the desert. He counted himself lucky, until he could feel his heel easing out of his boot. The only connection he had to Fiona's desperate grasp was slipping away and there was nothing either of them could do. He remembered in that moment, that she had risked her own life by abandoning her secure grip to reach out to help these two men who she didn't know and didn't trust. The strength of her hold around his foot was fresh in his mind, the effort she made to keep them from the maw of the wastelands.

Sure, securing the two men from Helios meant securing whatever awaited them at Old Haven, but it had happened so fast, he doubted she had time to think about it that way. She had just acted on instinct. Well, at least that's what he thought. Fiona was just as much of an enigma as he was to her. Probably.

Quickly eyeing the landscape ahead of the caravan for any kind of obstructions, the company man slid his heterochromatic eyes over to the grifter by his side, raising a curious brow in silent inquiry.

She shrugged, looking down and off to the side, not meeting his questioning gaze as she answered, "Can't have you trekking across Pandora with only one shoe on. Figured I'd do you a favor and return your ugly footwear."

He was tempted to retort with a lecture on fashion and style, but a smile still played about her lips and he decided that he'd take the ribbing for what it was - a playful jab rather than a hurtful insult. Scoffing, he lowered his boot down to the floor so he could work his foot inside, returning his attention to the path before him as he shimmied his socked foot into the recess.

"Too bad for you, if you would've held onto it, you could've sold it for a decent profit. The high quality of this rakk leather is obviously lost on you though, what a shame."

Now it was her turn to scoff, the light huffing sound making a smile kick up at the corners of his mouth in anticipation of what she'd say in response. "I see you Hyperion snobs think too little of us down here - we might be desperate for quality goods, but I don't think a foul smelling fashion faux pas is gonna be doing anyone any favors. At least anyone with actual taste."

Said Hyperion snob grinned, shifting restlessly his seat at the first easy conversation that he'd had with this woman since he laid eyes on her. Bickering over nonsense with this pretty Pandoran native was actually kind of exciting. "And I'd like to thank you for confirming that no one on this rocky junk heap has any sense of taste. I had always assumed, but it's good to finally have it confirmed."

"Yeah, I don't think that's as much of an insult as you think it is, considering the situation you've got going on with that red strip of fabric."

"You mean my tie?" He subconsciously ran his mechanical hand down the length of the tie, genuinely wondering what she had an issue with.

"Oh, is that what that's supposed to be? How unfortunate." She twisted her face into a slight grimace, further provoking him in this little verbal game of theirs.

"I'll have you know that this is the latest in fashion amongst the elite on Helios."

"So you say. Is it... Tucked into your pants? Serious question here."

The young manager rolled his eyes, but couldn't argue further because... Yes his tie was tucked into his pants. It was a fashion statement! He shook his head, glowering at her from the corner of his ECHO eye. "Is this all you came up here for, to question my impeccable sense of style? Don't you have candy to steal from a baby or something?"

Fiona's face shifted into one of overly shocked dismay, a hand fluttering delicately to her chest in a show of being offended. "Well the only baby I see nearby is behind the wheel right now. As a true professional, I wouldn't take this time to rob you - could be dangerous to hinder your driving."

Rhys fought another grin, enjoying their banter even though he was obviously on the defense - and losing. But he had never had the chance to talk to Fiona one on one and he found he quite liked her taunting smile and jeering words. Her light green eyes were sharp, watching him carefully and he had no doubt that she had already pinpointed the locations of every single one of his pockets. She reached out to him suddenly and he wondered if she was gonna poke around said pockets now.

But her hand landed on his shoulder very briefly, patting him as she said, "Whenever you get tired of driving, let me know and I'll take over. Until then, try not to drive us off a cliff, Hyperion." She turned and sauntered away, and he found his gaze locked on her retreating back.

Was it strange that her sudden absence made him yearn for her to return to his side, to continue trading barbs and playful smiles?

Yeah, that was weird. He barely knew the woman and could count the positive experiences with her on one hand. But she left to join her sister, the sound of her voice in the distance catching his ear.

He lifted his eyes to the rear view mirror, in the hope of catching a discreet glance of her. Instead he was met with a pixelated face of blue staring back at him through the reflection. The sight of Jack made him jump, but thankfully it wasn't enough to affect his driving or draw attention.

"Ooh, somebody's got a little crush~" Teased the voice of his mentor, ringing in his ears and his ears only. "Not a bad pick either, Hat Chick is smokin'." A burst of digital blue particles manifested over the caravan's dash, solidifying as a projection of Jack laid out on his side, head propped up on one fist as he faced Rhys. "You know... If you hook up with her, you'd be doing both of us a favor." His former boss waggled his eyebrows, his expression alluding to deviant implications.

Rhys rolled his eyes, adjusting his grip on the steering wheel as a way to keep himself centered and calm. "Not gonna happen," he muttered, purposefully keeping his voice low as to not draw attention to the seemingly one-sided conversation that he was having with his dead employer's digital ghost.

"Ahh you're no fun! Just think about it-" Jack's sapphire smile glowed as he spead his hands out above him. "Me and her. I guess you'd have to be there too since, ya know-" His pixelated image collapsed and reformed to Rhys' other side, demonstrating his intangible state. "Don't really have a body at this point- but eh, we'll make it work. Anyway, we get her all hot and bothered right? And-"

"Look," the younger man interrupted, glancing once again at the rear view mirror but this time to make sure no one was overhearing his words. "It's not like that between us. I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm a total loser or something-"

"Not surprising."

"......And anyway... You're not her type. So there."

"Oh sweet cheeks, have you seen me? I'm everybody's type! If I were here in the flesh, Hat Chick would be on her knees begging for a scrap of my attention. Like, hello? Check this out!"

Hyperion's former CEO materialized in Rhys' direct line of sight, his azure image staring down at his cranial companion in what Rhys assumed was supposed to be a... "Sexy" stare?

"GOD I'm hot - it's honestly ridiculous how good-looking I am! They don't call me Handsome Jack for nothing kiddo. In fact, I was the winner of Garza Magazine's 'Top 100 Sexiest CEOs in the Galaxy', and there was also the award for-"

If Rhys rolled his eyes any harder than he was right now, he was sure they'd roll right out of his head.

Since becoming tethered to this man's coded reconstruction of his personality, the young manager wondered how he had ever spent so long admiring this narcissist whose blue visage was currently ranting about his looks and...sex appeal...? If Rhys, who had once idolized his former boss, was losing his hero worship more and more while in his company, then he knew Fiona wouldn't even glance his way.

Well, unless it was to put a bullet between his eyes. But the notion was inconceivable anyway; his ex-boss was long dead and his former employee was the only one who could see and talk to his digitized remains. So the thought of Jack and Fiona ever interacting was something he'd never have to worry about.

"Hey shit for brains, you hear me?"

Jack tapped Rhys on his temple port and it sent an electric zing coursing through his nerve endings. He stifled a yelp but couldn't help the knee-jerk reaction of his hands twitching along the steering wheel, sending the caravan into a sharp swerve until he quickly righted himself.

A chorus of complaints and questions sounded off from behind him and he immediately replied with "Sorry, sorry! There was a, uh. A baby skag in the way and I just didn't wanna hit it."

He nervously gulped and could feel his heart pounding in his chest. Glancing up, Athena's irritated gaze met his in the mirror and he felt his left hand begin to sweat. Redirecting his sight to the land ahead, he tried to focus on looking as inconspicuous as he could, given the circumstances.

"Oh, that was great! Your face - you- you should've seen your face!" Jack cackled, floating in mid-air as he clutched his sides in amusement.

The Hyperion employee felt his aggravation build, furrowing his brow as he tightened his grip over the steering wheel. Just as he opened his mouth to snap back, a small hand clapped onto his shoulder.

"Okay Rhys, I think that's enough driving for today," came Fiona's voice from over his shoulder. "Let me have the wheel, you can go rest and leave the baby skags to me. I think I know how to avoid them a bit better than you."

Rhys peered up at her as he eased down on the brakes, trying to gauge her reaction, but she ushered him quickly out of the seat. He felt her body slide in behind him as he was stepping off to the side, turning to face her as she settled into the driver's seat and adjusted it to fit her shorter legs. Her eyes were set ahead of her, but she spared him a brief glance, giving his tall body a quick up and down before returning her focus to the road.

"Sasha's making something for lunch, grab yourself a plate if you're feeling a little drained." Her words hinted at a sympathetic nature, but she must've caught herself being too soft on him because she continued. "We need everyone at their best if we're gonna secure Gortys' next piece, alright? We've got the opportunity of a lifetime here, Rhys. We can't mess this up."

Feeling a little embarrassed that he was basically kicked from driving duty, along with her reminding him of what was at stake, Rhys kind of nodded and mumbled a vague agreement as he rubbed the back of his neck. Not knowing what else to do when Fiona quieted and returned her full focus on the road while he just stood there awkwardly, he turned and shuffled down the stairs towards the cabin.

"And don't forget to save me a plate!" She called, and he turned to look at her before joining the others.

From this angle, he could see a little bit of her profile, watching silently as she reached up and adjusted her hat, before brushing her hair away from her face. She placed her hand back along the curve of the steering wheel and her turquoise nail polish glinted when caught in the sunlight.

He felt a new emotion wanting to bloom, but before he could examine it for what it was, Hyperion's ghost rematerialized in front of him, casting the back of the con woman in hues of blue. The fact that Rhys could see Fiona through Jack's body was unnerving and unpleasant, and it caused him to frown as his raised his eyes to meet the stare of his dead boss.

"Hey, kiddo. In all seriousness, don't let this little thing between you and this Pandoran savage get between us and our big plans, okay? That vault and everything in it is ours, as long as you and your dick don't fuck this up for us."

The company man broke his intense gaze, turning away from his mentor and towards the others gathered by the kitchen area in the caravan. "Yeah, whatever you say, Jack." The words carried no conviction, and Rhys doubted that this would be the last that he hears of it.

But he was honestly tired of the cobalt corpse floating in his field of vision whenever he deemed to "grace" the young manager with his presence. Right now all Rhys wanted to be concerned with is getting some hot food in his belly, and being the one to bring Fiona her plate as an excuse to engage with her more.

Perhaps she'd thank him and flash him another smile. Now that... That would be nice.

Happy birthday Sweko, I hope you have a beautiful day~! 🥰💕

©rin-bellatrix 2023

☆ borderlands masterlist ⋆ main masterlist ☆

[wisheduponastar]

WIP Wednesday

Post a WIP you've been working on! Tag anyone you think would take part (I'm only tagging no-one because a lack of social skills/confidence when talking to mutuals)

5 + 1 Love Languages -- Kaito/Maki -- Canon compliant

One thing that Kaito was determined to figure out before the end of this game was Maki’s love language. Acts of service seemed like a big no, especially considering her past… and Kaito was trying to make her feel welcome, he wanted to set up a relationship more based on equality and being on the same level. And surely acts of service would tip the balance one way or another?

At least, that was what Kaito thought. But it was the first love language he had been recommended, so Kaito decided it was worth a shot. Thinking for a while, he eventually ended up in Kirumi’s room, staring at all of her appliances and poking one of them while looking at it dubiously. Kaito could work washing machines, who couldn’t, but he wasn’t sure about this one. It had too many buttons, and when he’d turned around to try and find another one it beeped at him. Which totally wasn’t freaking him out, definitely. Yet Kaito was nothing if not determined.

After almost an hour of going around and looking at various machines, he finally found instructions. They were simple, in a language he understood, and so he decided to start working. Except for one problem, he still needed to go and get Maki’s uniforms to wash them. Was it better to steal, or better to bribe? Bribing Maki’s clothes off her might be a bit weird…. so with that thought Kaito decided to become a thief.

Bringing his student Monopad, Kaito began to move to the dorm rooms while keeping an eye on everyone. Most people had dispersed, Shuichi, Himiko, and Tenko were all in the dining room. Gonta was outside, near the shrine of judgement - with Angie oddly close by. But Kokichi and Miu were both near the dorms. Oh well, Kaito could handle the two of them - he was the luminary of the stars. So Kaito kept walking, all the way up to the dormitories.

Finally inside, he took a second to look around - both for other students and for Maki’s room. He couldn’t see anyone, although he heard a crash from inside one of the (presumably Miu’s) rooms. He located Maki’s door pretty quickly as well, it had a large, pretty cute pixel art above it.

Looking around one last time, Kaito quickly tried the door. To his surprise, it fell through easily - not even being locked. He supposed that was a good thing, in the end. After all, he couldn't have really done much otherwise, because there was no way in hell he would ask Kokichi for any of this. To try and minimise the time spent in her room, he kept his eyes down and headed to where the closet was in his room. Before realising all of the clothes in there would be clean. Biting the inside of his cheek, Kaito decided looking around would be for the greater good, and quickly put his head up. But there was nothing, or practically nothing at least. It almost looked like no-one lived here.

But he found a basket of dirty laundry at least, and quickly took it in his arms - careful not to jolt himself or push himself too hard. The last thing he wanted was to cough blood all over Maki’s clothes - he knew just how hard that was to clean out. Shuffling at light speed, or as fast to light speed as he could go with the current situation, Kaito made his way out of the room, closing it with his foot and breathing a small sigh of relief as he realised that no-one was in front of the door.

He made it maybe half way across the dormitory's empty floor before hearing a yell, “Hey, pervert - the hell are you doing?”

Letting out a not very manly shriek, Kaito felt the basket plummet to the floor as he dropped it in shock, turning around while hearing laughter. He heard who it was before he saw her, and his very unimpressed gaze dropped on Miu; she was clutching the door-frame and laughing, almost doubling over before eventually straightening herself and staring at him. “Bet you enjoyed the show while I was lent over, right?”

“E-Excuse me?” Kaito felt himself begin to blush at the accusation, “And no - of course not!”

“Yeah, yeah. I bet you’re too busy fantasising about killer girl!”

“I am NOT!”

“Sure, but care to explain the clothes?” “They-” Kaito’s tongue suddenly felt heavy, and he was unsure of what to say, “-I…”

“Caught ya’ red fuckin’ handed.” Miu exclaimed, looking a little too happy, “I always knew you were a filthy pervert!”

“Who's a filthy pervert?”

Great. Just when Kaito thought the day couldn’t get any worse, a question came from above - in an obnoxiously cheerful tone. Grinning while leaning slightly over the balcony, Kokichi looked down at the two of them - his eyes sparkling with mischief. “No, surely not our heroic Kaito?”

“I am not a pervert!”

“Heh, sure you aren’t, and Kokichi over there is always honest.”

“But I am always honest.” Kokichi interjected, before moving towards the steps and eagerly throwing himself down them, sliding off the bars and landing eagerly, “You wound me, Miu.”

“Fuckin’ slug.” She looked him up and down, eyes glaring venom before turning back to Kaito, “And you’re just as bad. If you wanted panties so badly you could’ve just asked me.”

“Don’t worry, no-one wants your disgusting panties Miu,” Kokichi said, somehow lacing it with the innocence of a young child, “But yeah, you’re prettttttty creepy spaceman.”

His eyes suddenly lit up, “Oh, oh! Are you secretly an alien, and don’t understand the earth-customs of not taking people’s clothes like a miserable pervert!”

“I am not an alien,” Kaito weakly protested, now more worried about his reputation than anything nice he was trying to do for Maki.

“So just a miserable pervert then,” Miu cackled, “I should set Tenko on you!”

“You know Miu, you’re a pretty miserable perverted bitch as well,” Kokichi suddenly said, all the while innocently smiling.

“H-huh?” Miu looked shocked, although there was… some blush on her face, “I thought you were on my side!”

“Who would side with you?”

“Who wouldn’t want to side with me. Especially if you’re the other party!”

“That’s sooooooo meannn!” Kokichi begins to cry, and then he darts to Kaito, “Hey - beat her up for me and I’ll forget you’re a perv!”

“I am NOT a perv.” Kaito denies for the last time, but their argument did give him some time to think, “I’m cleaning everyone’s clothes, I thought it’d be nice. Guess I was wrong but…”

“Non, non,” Kokichi immediately grins, “You can clean my clothes too.”

The despair must show on Kaito’s face, because Kokichi pounces on it, “Unless you were lying just then?”

Resigning himself, Kaito signs, “You can bring me your spare uniforms.”

“Ha - suck it space-idiot!” Miu says, “I’ll get mine now, and feel free to take one or two home with you!”

Kaito doesn’t bother to dignify that with a response, instead accepting his fate. And all he had done was try to get closer to Maki-roll…

Walking back from Kirumi’s room with the last laundry basket (that coincidentally contained Maki’s clothes) Kaito wondered how his beautifully thought-out plan had gone so wrong. It was probably Kokichi, he decided. Maybe he could also blame Miu as well, but Kokichi was the driving force in all this chaos. So lost in his own thoughts, Kaito didn’t even realise Maki was there until she spoke.

“I heard you were washing everyone’s clothes, are those mine?”

He looked up, and instantly a small amount of blush flew onto his cheeks while a smile pulled at his face, “Yeah, d’you want me to put them anywhere?”

“I can carry them.”

Moving quickly, Maki bridged the distance between the two of them until there was only the clothes basket separating the two of them. Holding out her hands, she placed them around the basket firmly - almost unbothered by the way her fingers briefly brushed over Kaito’s. Blushing, he swallowed and tried to think of something to say, “Are you gonna be ok carrying them?”

“Of course-” taking the basket from him, Maki turned away and began to move before turning around briefly, “Um… thank you, by the way.”

It was those words that suddenly made everything worth it, as well as her slightly embarrassed smile, “Of course!”

[zv5x]

What if reader was really obsessed with Senpai, [like they played his game everyday whenever they can, literally memorizing all the choices and reactions, all that jazz] And they found a way into the game?? Basically yan!reader x Senpai

Also idk if these are taken but could i please be 🥀 or 💐 anon?? Tyssm!!

You can most definitely have those Anons! Either one you want since they're both open! Also omg??? I absolutely love this consept!! Thanks so much for requesting it! Remember to stay safe and take care of yourself!

( :̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅:♡:]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅)

You hummed, gently tracing a finger across your television screen as the familiar menu music played oh-so beautifully. It was truly the peak of music in your eyes, not that it had any right to be anything but however. What would you do if the game that inhabited your beloved soulmate was anything but remarkable? It would be nothing short of blasphemy, that was to be for certain.

Under any other circumstance, you'd be turning this game on simply to see the man that made your entire universe go round. To just talk to him, read those dialogue screens with the same amount of interest you had before you memorized everything the absolute angel had to say, to just be in his presence for as long as you could. Every second you spent around him made your world feel a little bit purer, he made everything feel like it was going to be okay.

Today, however, marked the day that you would be the one giving to him, instead of just he giving everything he could to you. It broke your heart that you couldn't do anything to repay Senpai for his kindness, almost as much as it broke your heart when you forced yourself to obtain a negative game ending for curiosities sake. Your body fell under a deep, agonizing sickness every time you even pondered about whether or not Senpai realize how truly adored he was. That is why you did everything in your power to make sure you could show your love to him.

You went through every library in your area and even beyond that reading various literature pieces regarding dimensional travel, as you assumed that is what it would take to finally be with him physically in his very world. By the time a few days passed, you considered yourself a master of the subject.

Your once clean desk was now cluttered and messy as you went over a final draft for your plans. It was simple, really, to simple. It was quite inconvenient that you only had to rely on books that were written before video games were even established on the consumer market, but it would have to do. Search engines were deemed unreliable from the minute you began doing your research on them - believing that you were intending to enter the video game industry rather than physically entering the universe of a certain title.

Eventually, you stood in front of Senpai with grand confidence, and with a promise to fufil. Soon, you'd be within his physical reach. He was smiling at you, saying words of such love and adoration, as if he was breaking through the bounds of the games script just to praise you for your hard work. Within the next hour, you'd have paid your debt to your beloved. His hard work and determination to make this relationship work would finally be appreciated by his one true love.

Giving the pixelated figure a gentle kiss, you laid back on the floor and relaxed your entire body, thinking solely of who you were trying to meet and exactly what you wanted to accomplish. You remembered reading in one of your covered books that the main method of dimensional travel was complete detachment from your physical self in this reality. Of course, your fears of not being able to meet Sen were immediately eased, considering you felt you have long mastered the art of depersonalization.

Soon, you felt yourself grow tired. Maybe that was a sign everything was falling in to place, or maybe it was just your lack of proper sleep catching up to you the moment it saw the opportunity. You hoped the second reason wasn't the case, and you quickly focused your thoughts back onto your goals as everything faded into a calming black.

You truly had no way of knowing how long you were out for, but what you did know was that the climate felt noticably different from your room. The air felt pure, clean and just the perfect amount of coldness to make breathing a genuinely enjoyable necessity. As soon as your eyes opened, you were met with a figure standing closely in front of your face. Upon waking up just for a few more seconds, your eyes quickly widened and your heart began to pound in an extremely fast paced rythem. It was him. It was your cherished, beloved Senpai.

"Ah, there you are!" He sighed in relif, gently patting your head as he gave you a reassuring smile. "I thought you'd never wake up, I was so worried!"

"Sen-Senpai?!" You immediately sat up, prompting him to give you a soft laugh as he sat you back down into a more relaxed position. He hummed and nodded his head, looking at you with a look of such elegant care that it made your heart completely swell.

"I appreciate you being so happy to see me dear, but I can't have you moving too much after you just woke up. It must have been a nasty fall for you to be out for so long..." He gave you a slight pout, and you stared at him for a moment whist blinking.

For some reason, he didn't seem as...happy to see you as you would have expected. You wanted to feel a form of disappointment, but everything had its reason, and you had to ask Senpai before making assumptions.

"Sen...do you know who I am?"

You asked, and all he did was tilt his head. "Well, no, I assumed you were a new student at first..." He gave a nervous giggle, before rubbing the back of his neck. "Have we...met before...?"

Your heart sunk. He didn't...he didn't remember you? No, that couldn't have been the case. The love the two of you felt was too strong for him to just forget. Maybe something needed to just jog his memory.

"M-my name is (Y/N), I told you my name was (N/N), we spent entire days together, I got all of your games endings, we've been through so much together Sen! Please, try and remember!" The desperation in your voice was as clear as day, and even Senpai felt it. He looked down for a moment, trying to throw your name through every inch of his mind. Until, he hit a mark.

All those times he spent with you, the good, the bad, everything you gave to him and everything you did for him. It was you! His player, his (Y/N)! Suddenly, you saw his eyes brighten and tears prick his pretty blue eyes. Letting out a choked gasp of pure bliss, he threw himself into your arms and pressed his forehead lovingly against yours. Of course, you immediately wrapped your arms around his perfect form, peppering him with as many kisses as you could manage and moving your arms up to be able to run your fingers through his hair. It was just as soft as his game sprites made it look. Absolutely perfection. You knew you had no reason to worry, you just needed to jog Senpai's memory a bit. After all, how could he forget the love of his life?

"I-I can't believe I'm finally able to meet you, (Y/N)..." He said, his normally perfectly silky voice trembling with euphoria. "Please...never leave me..." A soft sniffle could be heard as he nuzzled his head into you and completely laid himself onto you, and you promptly gripped him as tightly as you could without bringing him harm.

"Don't you worry, Senpai..."

You said, leaning back slightly to be able to look him in his pretty eyes. You made him a promise from the moment you saw him, and you could never even think of letting a person as pure and perfect as Senpai down.

"I'll be by your side forever." Kissing him gently on the top of his head, you smiled and rested your cheek upon it. "I wouldn't dare let anything tear us apart."

[cyraptor]

Top 20 Zelda games of 2021

As many of you may or may not know, I spent roughly the first nine months of 2021 playing (or replaying in many cases) every single main series Zelda game. Since I don’t think I played more than maybe one game that actually came out in 2021 I couldn’t very well do a Top 10 for the year, but I’ve been wanting to rank the Zeldas for a while so people would yell at me about putting LTTP so low, so this is how I have decided to spend the last day of the worst year of my life. I did not proofread this. Enjoy!

#20: Link’s Crossbow Training Okay obviously this one doesn’t really count but you can’t have a “Top 19” list. It’s actually pretty decent for what it is, which is a peripheral pack-in that reuses all of its assets from Twilight Princess, but it’s still, y’know… that.

#19: Zelda II: The Adventure of Link Here is my actual least favorite Zelda game. Utterly miserable “Nintendo hard” bullshit with extremely little to make up for it. Having both lives AND a leveling system is idiotic; it’s too hard to survive long enough to get enough XP to level up after a certain point in the game. Also the wretched swordfighting system becomes completely untenable with some of the later enemies and it feels like you’re engaging in a damage race guessing game. Maybe I’m just uniquely bad at this game? I dunno. I guess I appreciate that they were trying to do something different from the first game, but, like Castlevania II, I think it’s an abject failure. Maybe the only Zelda game I think is truly BAD.

#18: Four Swords (first time playing) Four Swords, like Link’s Crossbow Training, ends up low on the list not so much because it’s bad but because it’s just a nothingness. It’s essentially just a bonus multiplayer mode included with the GBA version of LTTP. You just run around a semi-procedurally-generated (I think?) map collecting Rupees and occasionally there’ll be some enemies or mild puzzles to solve to progress. There’s very little else to it, although the very nice pixel art presages Minish Cap’s. The hook here is the multiplayer facet, which I experienced by mapping two Links to the left and right sides of a single controller and controlling both simultaneously myself. It was a very unique way to experience a game, and fortunately very little in it requires both Links to move/act in concert. It made the bosses pretty hard though!

#17: Four Swords Adventures (first time playing) Something you’re going to see a lot in this list is me factoring a game’s aesthetics into its ranking a disproportionately high amount, and FSA easily takes the biggest hit from this. This feels for all the world like a fangame to me. It uses the Link sprites from Four Swords (good), but lifts most of the rest of its graphics from LTTP (bad). There’s some new spritework that ranges from fine to terrible, and then there’s a handful of digitized Wind Waker models which look spectacularly out of place. The end result is a gross, amateurish hodgepodge of a game that feels devoid of any sense of a unique identity. The actual gameplay is a linear, level-based pastiche of the Zelda formula, which isn’t the worst experience in the world but strips out a lot of the series’ exploratory appeal. Maybe it’s more fun in multiplayer, even though it seems to utilize the multi-Link mechanics more sparingly than the other multi-Link games.

#16: Tri Force Heroes (first time playing) Yet another multiple-Link game that’s probably not primarily designed to be experienced in single-player, but that’s how I played it and that’s how I’m going to review it. This is a lot closer to the original Four Swords in gameplay than Adventures, except that it has actually properly designed stages with real puzzles and obstacles and is much better off for it. That said, it’s still pretty shallow and requires you to sink an enormous amount of time playing the same stages over and over in order to 100% it (not to mention the 24-hour-cooldown gacha stuff that makes it feel like a mobile game you can’t throw money at to speed up). The story (really just a premise) is also extremely dumb and low-stakes and may as well not exist.

#15: Spirit Tracks (first time playing) I will address most of my problems with Spirit Tracks in my entry for Phantom Hourglass, as they all apply to this one as well. Having said that, Spirit Tracks is a mild improvement over its predecessor in most respects: a more unique premise, better story, better dungeons. It’s also one of the only Zelda games to feature Zelda as an active protagonist as opposed to being damseled or just being a non-presence for most of the game for one reason or another, which is nice I guess. Having said that, it’s completely brought down by the titular train mechanic. It takes goddamn forever to travel from one place to another, which this game requires a lot of, and you have to be paying attention for the duration of a trip because you need to kill enemies or remove obstacles from the track constantly or else you have to start over. And unlike pretty much every other Zelda game with an overworld, you never unlock any sort of warp/fast-travel ability to get around quicker - there ARE teleports you can activate on the tracks that warp you from point-to-point, but they are literally never in places that would ever be useful. One of the most tedious Zelda games out there.

#14: Phantom Hourglass Phantom Hourglass’s biggest downfall is that it was designed for the DS. First of all, it looks like shit, like all 3D DS titles do, with the low-res textures deforming around the low-poly models in the most aesthetically unpleasing way possible. And of course, the controls are nonsense - having to use the stylus for general movement control adds nothing and never feels good. The game also suffers for trying to recreate Wind Waker on a smaller scale and, as a result, inviting negative comparison to its far superior predecessor. Also, much has been said of having to do the Temple of the Ocean King or whatever it’s called like 5 or 6 times over the course of the game, and while there’s ways to make that experience slightly less tedious on repeat visits, even in the best of circumstances it’s still extremely obnoxious and was a bad idea.

#13: A Link to the Past Okay, this is the one I know I’m going to catch the most shit for. Let me preface this by saying there is a pretty wide gulf between Phantom Hourglass (which is in the “bad third” of the list) and LTTP (which is in the “decent third”). The thing about LTTP is that I never played it as a kid. I didn’t sit down and give it a serious chance until like 2007, when I had played most of the 3D Zeldas released up to that point. At the time of its release I’m sure it was a massive revelation and a huge improvement over Zelda 1, and influential to games that came later, and I know it’s a lot of people’s childhood Zelda. But to me, with no nostalgia for it and with the perspective of the current day, it’s just like, the absolute baseline Zelda experience that is perfectly fine but doesn’t really excel at any one thing. There’s virtually no narrative, the spritework has the same jank that many early-SNES first party games did (I think the environments are quite nice though), it’s too dungeon-heavy, and the Dark World, while decent in concept, feels kind of half-baked. The game just kind of feels like a slog to me and every time I revisit it I struggle to get all the way through it without losing interest. I dunno what else to say. Sorry!!!

#12: The Legend of Zelda Once in a while I can enjoy sitting down and cracking the “puzzle” of an abstruse game - usually an older one - by doing stuff like mapping out the whole world and writing down all the in-game clues (had a good time doing this with Dragon Quest 1 and MSX Metal Gear in recent memory, and the Souls series has a modern twist on a similar vibe too). Zelda’s a pretty good game for it, especially with the manual on hand to gradually ease yourself into that mindset through the early stages, and that’s why it’s more enjoyable than LTTP for me, even if the later game is an objective improvement on pretty much all fronts. The second quest with its obtuse progression and hordes of Darknuts, Wizzrobes and sword-stealing Bubbles can fuck off though.

#11: Twilight Princess Twilight Princess had to have been the most anticipated Zelda game ever, right? Many sad people didn’t enjoy Wind Waker’s more lighthearted tone and art style and wanted “another” “serious” “edgy” Zelda game like OOT, and there was like a 4-year buildup to its release. And when it finally arrived, that’s exactly what TP turned out to be: Ocarina of Time, again. I feel like it was kind of a damned if you do/damned if you don’t situation for Nintendo, and the end result is by no means a bad game, but undeniably a cynical and uninspired one. It has a very similar map and follows a very similar progression to OOT, with a few new wrinkles that keep it just barely fresh enough to make it feel like its own thing. I felt this way about it at the time and it didn’t really change my mind on replaying it. If it’d been the only Zelda game I’d ever played I could see loving it… but it’s not. Also: it’s very ugly!

#10: Oracle of Ages The Oracle games are fairly inextricable from each other, so most of what I have to say about them will probably be said in the Seasons entry, but of the two I enjoyed Ages less. The dungeon puzzles were far more obtuse, to the point where I needed to reference guides multiple times. The time travel/parallel overworlds gimmick had also already been done better in previous games. Ages also takes the award for Zelda game I played the most times in 2021, with a total of three consecutive playthroughs (a “100%” Oracle experience requires 2 playthroughs of each, but I decided I wanted to play the unlinked version of Ages before the linked one for some reason. Not recommended).

#9: Oracle of Seasons Jeez I don’t even know what to say about the Oracle games, it’s all a blur now. Seasons was a way smoother ride than Ages, I do remember that. I like the season-changing gimmick more than the past/present one - at its core, it’s just yet another “parallel overworld” situation, but the puzzle-solving aspect of it felt smaller-scale and easier to grasp than Ages. Speaking to the duology as a whole, the linking aspect is kind of a neat idea and worth doing once (if only for the “true ending”), but I don’t know if it’s really worth playing it “both ways” like I did - the changes in the second game aren’t significant enough to warrant a revisit. The ring system is a theoretically fun mechanic that becomes murderously tedious if you’re a completionist (and technically impossible without cheating if you’re not playing on GBA - yes, you get a special ring for playing this GBC cart on a Game Boy Advance, and can’t get it on Virtual Console). All in all I see the Oracle games as nice followups to Link’s Awakening that are a little too bogged down with ambition to supersede the simple joy of their predecessor.

#8: Link’s Awakening It’s hard to say why I rate Link’s Awakening as highly as I do when I have no nostalgia for it and so many caveats about liking it. It’s very bad about holding the player’s hand (especially at the beginning), with multiple bosses explicitly describing how to defeat them. The one dungeon where you have to carry the big ball and smash the pillars is very obtuse and annoying. It’s the first Zelda game to contain a trading sequence and (I believe?) the only one in which it’s mandatory to complete the game. But something about it - the tropical island setting, the goofy characters, the overworld map that doesn’t waste a single screen - just delights the hell out of me. The Switch remake, despite its inscrutably inconsistent performance, is very pretty and adheres shockingly close to the original game. Its dungeon-building mode was a nice idea but kind of lame in practice.

#7: A Link Between Worlds A Link Between Worlds skirts the line between remake and sequel, but boy howdy do I like it so much more than LTTP. Part of it’s just the 20+ years of quality of life improvements made to the series being applied to the already-solid foundation of the original game, but there’s also a ton of new items and elements added to the game to give the dungeons a bit more variety and personality than they once had. The item rental system is interesting but flawed since although it allows you to play the dungeons in any order, it also means the dungeons didn’t have anything in them besides the boss and they also have to stick to a similar difficulty level. But I don’t play games to be challenged, I play them so I can fill in cells in a spreadsheet no one else will ever see. Also I thought the wall-merging gimmick was cool without feeling like too much of a crutch, and the Lorule/Dark World aspect was executed better than in the original. Sorry!!!

#6: Skyward Sword (first time playing) I’ve spent the last decade hearing how horrible Skyward Sword is, so I was very excited when they announced the Switch port (whose release coincidentally lined up perfect with my replay project) so I could play it and be a big contrarian by saying how much I loved it. And here we are! Seriously though, maybe it’s precisely because I was expecting to hate it that I was so pleasantly surprised by it, but I honestly really enjoyed my time with it. I can’t speak for the original version and how much (if at all) the remaster improved on its flaws, but I found the mapping-the-sword-to-the-right-stick solution to be perfectly serviceable (with the sole exception of now needing to hold a shoulder button to move the camera with the stick, rather than them just reprogramming the camera to move automatically to mitigate needing to do so). The sword gimmickry is sort of integral to the game’s mechanics so they really couldn’t have removed it entirely, but I think it’s kind of fun anyway! It’s certainly more engaging than mashing a single attack button like I usually do in Zelda games. Skyloft, like the Great Sea, is a fun twist on the typical Zelda overworld formula, although it does feel a bit empty out there. The hub town and its characters feel fun and fleshed out in the same way that Wind Waker, Minish Cap, and Majora’s Mask’s do, there’s just… not much else. It’s maybe the prettiest of the 3D Zeldas though and has the best girl Zelda.

#5: The Minish Cap (first time playing) I wasn’t really sure what to expect from The Minish Cap. It’s a game that tons of people apparently played but never held particularly strong opinions about, good or bad, which is weird for a Zelda game. What I got was one of the most surprising and delightful entries on this list. Minish Cap is a pretty small game - well, literally, in that you frequently shrink down to the size of a little mouse guy (an idea I have found very enchanting since the days of playing Micro Machines on Genesis) - but also in that it’s basically just a hub town, with a fairly small overworld surrounding it and only like four dungeons in the entire game. What it may lack in quantity it more than makes up for in quality, with charm oozing out of every square inch. Its Kinstone fusion mechanic makes interactions with NPCs feel a little like Majora’s Mask-lite (although the rewards are frequently completely pointless), and the few dungeons and their associated items have some of the most innovative ideas ever seen in the series. On top of everything, Minish Cap is one of the most exquisite looking 2D games I have ever laid eyes on. This has some of the best spritework and especially tilework I’ve ever seen. I forgot to mention Capcom when I was discussing the Oracle games, but who cares, THIS is their crowning achievement in the Zeldasphere.

#4: Breath of the Wild (first time playing) I haven’t actually finished this one yet but I spent basically my entire 2-week summer vacation playing it so I feel pretty qualified including it on this list. Breath of the Wild is a game that has been so hyped up to me for years that I thought there was no way that it could meet my expectations, yet it pretty much did. I thought I knew how big the game was and it’s so, so much larger than I ever could have believed Nintendo capable of. It makes Skyrim look like Bob-omb Battlefield. It takes the exploration factor of Zelda games like the original and Wind Waker and cranks it up 1000%. It’s an incredible experience for someone like me who relishes just exploring a big, natural-feeling world in a video game. It’s not perfect though! I think the hundreds of barely distinct weapons and shields could have been pared way down, and the degradation aspect doesn’t add much to the game besides inconvenience. I think the cooking system is okay in theory, but again, the ingredients list could have been whittled way down. Conversely, the enemy variety is bizarrely thin considering the scale of the rest of the game and I would like to have seen a larger bestiary. And while the shrines and Divine Beasts are fun and creative, they don’t really make up for a complete lack of proper dungeons. At the end of the day, though, Nintendo took some uncharacteristically huge risks with this game and they almost categorically paid off, so these minor protests doesn’t necessarily bring down the game as a whole for me, and hopefully can be addressed in the sequel.

#3: The Wind Waker I like the ocean and I like exploration in video games and The Wind Waker is a Zelda game about exploring the ocean. It also got me through a particularly rough spring semester my first year of college. But on top of that I also think it’s just a good game on its own merits. It’s probably to date still one of the most unique settings of a Zelda game, but it anchors (pun) itself to the series lore without feeling overly dependent on it. Even though its lighthearted tone and cartoony art style were its biggest point of criticism at release (less so now thankfully), I think it’s one of Wind Waker’s biggest strengths. The worst thing about it is probably the fact that you’re railroaded along the main storyline for a shockingly long time before you’re allowed to explore freely, and that the first dungeon is a terrible stealth mission. I don’t think I enjoyed it as much on revisit as I did my original time through (this year’s being the Wii U HD version, whose “upgrades” I don’t think make it look especially better than the original), but it still holds a special place in my heart.

#2: Majora’s Mask I got the N64 version of Majora’s Mask on release and bounced off it so, so many times before finally giving it a second (or technically like fifth) chance when the 3DS remake came out. Some people dog on the remake, saying it changed too much, but I think it’s all for the better. N64 MM is ROUGH. It was way too ambitious for that console, and even with the expansion pack it struggled to run and looked like shit. The 3DS version is an incredible visual upgrade, and the various quality of life improvements it also makes are what finally got me to break through its rough starting hours, so to me it’s good. The game itself is incredibly expansive and deep but you’re not forced to engage with all of the sidequests and stuff if you just want to experience the main story. You can put as little or as much as you want into this game and you will be rewarded for it in kind. It has probably the richest cast of characters of any Zelda game and it’s a challenge and a delight to see some of their stories through to the end. This is, understandably and justifiably, the most polarizing Zelda game, I think. It’s probably the toughest to get into but it also feels like the most fulfilling.

#1: Ocarina of Time Look. I know OOT has received something of a critical reevaluation in recent times after years of being considered the best game of all time by pretty much everyone. But I was ahead of the curve on that shit. OOT was my first Zelda game in 2000 and I don’t think it’d be too much of an overexaggeration to say it’s one of the games that most changed my life. I still love it dearly. I understand it’s maybe not as revelatory in the modern day as it was at release, but it did codify or invent a lot of the stuff that might make it seem passé now. I think this may be a reverse LTTP situation where my opinion is tainted by nostalgia, but this is MY list. Also, the 3DS remake is incredibly good in a “this is the way you remember this game looking but it actually looked way worse” way, and changes much less about the game than the MM remaster did. That’s all thanks for reading

(Note to Tumblr followers: this blog is still dead I just needed someplace to post a huge wall of text. Follow me on twitter @cyraptor​ where I am actually active(ish). Transformers Legacy is not coming back please don’t ask me about it. Thank you)

[passable-talent]

Hi! Could you write “Was it necessary to tackle me on sight?” With Zuko please?

that’s something he would say... beautiful... eloquent... perfect.... thank u anon

it’s been a while. I apologize. I planned on catching up over spring break but then ! quarantine. I’m writing this at 2 AM. when inspiration strikes, ig

also? I have no understanding of how line breaks work on tumblr. why are some two pixels and some eighty

Sure, you were friends with Zuko when you and he were children, but that wasn’t what got you here.

You were an honorary trainee of the Order of the White Lotus, living at their camp, outside of the walls of Ba Sing Se. This was very different, for you, though a welcome change. After all, you’d hated your job as a guard in the high-security prison of the fire nation, you’d hated living under the thumb of your mother, as she pushed you to be better than your late father, you’d hated everything about where you’d been, especially after you’d gotten the hint that Azula wanted to manipulate you into her little group.

So when Iroh broke out, you all but begged him to take you with him. And doesn’t he have a weakness for teenagers scorned by the fire nation?

Regardless, you’ve been living in this camp for a few weeks now, meditating and practicing not only your martial arts with Master Piandao, but learning to strengthen your bending with the styles of other elements, with Master Pakku and Master Bumi. They often commented that you had an ‘old soul’- or, in Master Bumi’s words, “they just hang out with us old farts too much!”

You’d learned so much, and felt as though your bending was much stronger than it had ever been before. Master Iroh often talked about the importance of the unity of the elements, but using traditional bending techniques from elements not your own seemed to make your power even stronger. Though you did not want Sozin’s comet, did not want to see what havoc Ozai would wreak upon the world with it, you were interested in seeing what it would feel like.

You were prepared to spend the day of the comet assisting the Order in the liberation of Ba Sing Se, though you also assumed you may at any point be given some other mission. Who knows- with Zuko’s involvement and Azula’s power lust, any number of your old friends might appear to whisk you away. You hoped it wouldn’t be Azula. She was okay when you were kids, as she was younger than you and so felt just a bit happier, but you looked back and recognized the manipulative traits that manifested into her current state of sociopathy. Zuko, on the other hand, you missed him dearly. He had been one of your closest friends, though you were sure he didn’t feel the same, and the only thing that broke your heart deeper than his banishment was that you hadn’t gotten to see him again between his return and the day of Black Sun. You missed him more than you could rationalize, and found him invading your thoughts at all times.

He was handsome when you were both twelve and attending school together. And you couldn’t really tell, as he was so far away on that podium on the announcement of his return, but you could feel in your gut that he had only grown moreso with age. And okay, sure, maybe you had an eensie-teensie crush on the fire prince, but who in their right mind didn’t?

It wasn’t that that made you want to see him again, majorly. You just missed your old friend.

Meditating was a good way to spend your time, especially since it was one of the main activities in this camp full of old men (though you were sure that sometimes Bumi just napped). You were deep in meditation for a few hours, not much on your mind beyond your breath cycle and your connection to the elements. When you found yourself prepared to get going again, you walked from your tent and saw a few other teenagers you’d never seen before, chatting with a few of the Order members. This confused you, and you glanced around in the direction of some of the other tents.

A few paces from Iroh’s tent was Zuko, taking meaningful strides back toward his friends and trying to hide the tears he’d finished crying just moments ago.

Zuko.

Within instants you’d bolted to him, your arms wrapping around his shoulders but overall slamming into him, knocking you both to the ground. You had a smile as bright as the sun on pulling on your lips.

“Was it necessary to tackle me on sight?” He asked, hugging back with a small laugh that broke through the slight shaking in his chest left over from his emotions.

“Yes,” you insisted, giving him one further squeeze before moving to your feet and holding your hand out to him. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you.”

“Three years isn’t that long,” he said, his smile fading as he regained control of his expression, but you could still see the happiness in his eyes. You recognized it, from when he was seven, and you used to challenge him to game like “who can eat the most spice without dying” at lunchtime.

“Tell that to how different you look,” you countered, crossing your arms over your chest, play-defensively.

“How different I am? You apparently aged forty years, living here with the white lotus.” You shook your head with a laugh, and wished for a moment that it could just stay like this, banter between old friends. With that wish came the dreaded realization, like cold water running down your spine, that both of you faced separate battles tomorrow, and either one of you may not come back.

“Zuko!” Called one of his friends, drawing both yours and the prince’s attention. “We better go!”

“They’re right,” Zuko said, looking back at you. You nodded in silence for a moment before slowly stepping forward and hugging him tightly again, laying your chin on his shoulder. He hugged back just as tight, fingers just briefly knotting into the fabric of your shirt. “I’ll see you again soon,” he said before he let go and jogged away, leaving you with a pounding heart and what seemed like an unkeepable promise.

And just like that, you had a whole new reason to stay alive.

-🦌 Roe

[minccinoocappuccino]

Beyblade: Evolution Review

Finally got around to writing this review for the person who asked for it

I’m going to break this review into sections so I don’t forget anything.  

◉ Mechanics ◉ Graphics ◉ Gameplay ◉ story/Plot

⚠️ I’m not a game reviewer and these opinions are just that opinions ⚠️

Mechanics 

Ok so the big thing about this particular game is that you launch the beys through gyro and motion sensors using the Nintendo 3DS’s camera...or at least that’s how it’s supposed to be done. I’ve found all you really have to do is flick your 3DS towards or away from you and it counts as a launch. You do have to launch it at the right time however as you get spirit bursts that “ make your bey stronger for a short time”. If you do launch it off it really doesn't matter much you just start off with less spirit burst which I’ll explain later why it’s fine. There's really not much else to this gimmick though you only use it to launch beys and that's it so it's only about 2 secs of a beybattle despite being one of it’s biggest selling points.

Another mechanic is changing the bey parts to make your own, which is one of the best parts in the game. You can even try and recreate character beys or just come up with your own! They draw back to this though is if you want to win you really can’t use some of the beys at all. The game has the 4 types of beys in it Attack, Defense, Stamina, and Balance but it might as well just be Defense, and Stamina only. The Attack beys are so useless using them is an instant loss unless you get a lucky knock out really fast. They have no stamina at all so once you launch them they run out faster than the ps5 did, you have seconds to knock out the longer lasting beys with no help from your spirit bursts since you won’t have time to gain them. Balance beys suffer from the jack of all master of none curse, even if you build it with mostly stamina , you might as well instead make a full Stamina instead. Side note: Orion is one of the best beys to use its really OP though it’s only able to be bought late game Sagittarius is a good early game one to pick up. 

Now let's talk about spirit bursts, they suck. There's not really a gain to using them, yes your beyblade gets stronger by spinning fast but it goes so fast it usually misses the other bey and if they other hits you while your going so fast you have a higher chance of just flying out the ring. After 35 hours of playing this mechanic has helped me exactly zero times but has caused me to lose 7 times that I remember.

Graphics

There's not actually much to talk about with its graphics seeing as how it’s almost identically to other beyblade games. They did put a lot of effort into trying to make the beyblades look realistic, but there's only so much early 2000s graphics can do. The sprites look like they were drawn and then squished down to look pixelated; they still look good however, resembling the show's art while the pixelated effect gives it a more game feel. The text boxes however are really bad imo...There are solid blue boxes that go across the entire bottom of the screen with plain white letters over it for the dialogue. The worst part about them is the characters' names are in the same front, size, and colour of the dialogue so it all just blends together. 

The backgrounds are all neat and nice nothing to complain about….except the “special backgrounds”. These are for Battles and some Mini games and they're just real life pictures of parks or buildings. There so blurry and pixelated they look like they were taken from google earth. I know they wanted to give this game the feel of playing an actual bey battle in real life but starting at a clearly modeled and textured bey and area with real grass and buildings behind it is strange and out of place. This is just a nitpick since you really don't notice it much and again I know it’s early 2000s graphics so I can't complain much I still feel just putting in backgrounds from the show or just drawn ones would have looked better.

Gameplay

So the game is like a RNG where you go to different places on the map, meet characters from the show, battle them and enter tournaments and shop for parts. It’s very simple and easy to get the hang of and progress. You have 50 turns to do all this and become the champion™. On your 10th turn you enter tournaments to win beypoints to buy new parts. There are two stadiums for tournaments and you can go to each to do this, they have different rules so pay attention to this before entering. One you can use 3 beys and the other only one, if you can only afford one good bey you need to enter the one bey only one or else you will get crushed. On your turns you progress by going to random places on the map and meeting and talking to the characters to earn points, and their friendship. By befriending a character you get to unlock their mini game plus they will give you parts of their beys as gifts which is great if you befriend Kenta but Ginga might as well be giving you trash. Each talk/battle with a character takes up one turn and it takes a couple of times fighting and beating them to get to a high friendship level enough for them to fork over there bey. Since you only have 50 turns if you want a certain bey from a character focus on them only until you get it. Fully befriending a character will also unlock more characters that show up on the map as well.

You can buy beyparts at the two stores in game the B-pit and WBBA store with Madoka and Hikaru running them. The WBBA has better choices and higher ranking beyparts but the B-pit is cheaper so starting out with the B-pit is usually the best option and then switching over after earning good parts from characters. Going to the shop does use up a turn so buy what you need in one go.

The actual battling is boring and not fun at all. Like I said earlier they really wanted this game to give you the feel of real life beybattling so after you launch your bey you just sit there and watch it spin you can’t control it all so when you get knocked out or win it feels less like skill and more like luck. I get the skill is supposed to come from customizing the best bey but unless you're using the meta beys you kinda lose so you're forced to use beys you might not like to win there's really no room for innovation. The spirit burst was supposed to cover this by giving you a sense of doing something in the battle but it’s so useless most of the time it feels like you wasted it. It’s not even an auto thing you can’t just press the spirit button and your beys instantly get its power you have to aim it and hit your bey with it while its spinning and if you hit your opponent they get it or its just gone.

The minigames aren't a big thing in the game once you befriend a character you unlock his/hers game, which two characters can have the same one, to play and earn points from it. So far I’ve only played 5 different minigames: Balloon pop: you shoot a bey at balloons rising upwards different coloured balloons will give you different number of points the faster balloons give the most Track: you tilt your DS side to side to keep you bey on the track the faster you get to the end without falling off the more points you get Ring: You shoot your bey threw moving rings the more rings you shoot threw in a row the more points you get What part is it: parts of the bey will show up on screen and you have to guess if it's a Facebolt, Energy ring, Wheel, spin track, or tip. The more you guess right the faster they fly across your screen and the wheel and energy rings can look so close together since they are zooming so fast Guess: It gives you a Facebolt, Energy ring, Wheel, spin track, or tip and you have to guess what beyblade it's from.

Story/Plot

The game was marketed as the bridge between Fury and Shogun but there is nothing about it that does that. It’s clearly set after Fury but you don’t know when. It plays out with you battling character after character shopping and mini gaming in between and then on turn 50 battling in a tournament and hoping you win and become the champion. There’s no story to it other than that no underlying plot or an evil villain you need to stop. Just battling and becoming champ.  

Talking to the character is fun but you don’t get anything else, no new secrets or facts about them. Also after you become champion the game just starts you over. You start back at turn 0 and have to do it all again and unlock everything again. The game does let you keep 25% of your beypoints the first time you beat it and 100% of them the 4th time if I remember correctly.  

Overall: It’s a good game if you prefer talking to characters over battling and story. You can still have fun with the battling system since strange things can happen with beys getting shot out or just spinning out. And the wonky gyro system can cause you to shoot your bey right out the ring which makes for some laughs. It’s a very repetitive game which isn't a bad thing inself just depends on what you like. The Metal Masters game was way better with a decent storyline and fun battle mechanics which I’ll review at a later time, and this game just fails to compete with the other beyblade games.  Of course you are allowed to like the game. I enjoyed it a fair bit, and there are really good parts in it. I just think it has so much more room to be better.

Another notes: Some characters that are mentioned to be in the game I have not seen at all such as Nile, and Zero from Shogun. There is a battle area where you just battle for fun that's not a part of the story. I have only done it once though. You are allowed to have two save files on it.

If you want to see more of it you can look through my blog I have it tagged as I play beyblade  also again I do not have gameplay footage of it but if it’s something that is requested or wanted I don’t mind recording it 

[segafan37]

Shadamy Snippet: Emergency Meeting Pt. 1

Author's Note:

This Shadamy snippet used to be a Teaser Snippet for Chapter 6. I wasn't planning for it to be part of the story at all. It was just a old deleted scene that I wanted to share to give you, the audience, a broad idea about the upcoming chapter. However, after my sister read the teaser, she insisted that it be apart of the story. So, after some tweaks, the former Teaser Snippet is now apart of Chapter 6!

I hope you enjoy it! 😁 Art by @drawloverlala

Inside Dodon Pa's Mansion

[Normal p.o.v.]

After Metal and Rouge parted ways to look for Devious, Rouge started wandering through the different crowded rooms and corridors of the mansion. There were four levels to the mansion and Rouge was currently on the main floor. Metal ventured to levels 3 and 4, leaving Rouge to explore the others.

King Donda Pa was never one who lacked in abundance and his mansions were likewise. Each one was styled to attribute the environment that surrounded them, and the one Rouge was in was no different.

The mansion was large and fanciful, displaying the breath of winter. The hallways were long and wide and painted a calm blue. Tall windows filled the rooms and corridors showcasing the fierce blizzards outside. 

The halls were decorated with broad tapestries of cream and royal blue, and the floor was polished marble. The rooms were equally vast with crystal chandilers, honed marble floors and many assortment of decor to accent the rooms.

Rouge scanned the multitude of faces as she made her way throughout the main floor. Everywhere Rouge went she was surrounded by Mobians, both good and bad. Everyone seemed cordial enough, but the bat knew better. She could just feel the tension in the air. 

Rogue would have been lying to herself if she said this whole affair wasn't the least bit unsettling. It was just a matter of time before something or someone causes the inevitable. 

 It took a whole hour, but she had finally explored all of the main floor. Rouge still hadn't found her man though. It was time for her to switch tactics.

Just then her communicator picked up a male voice.

"We can't celebrate yet. We still need Rouge to do her part." 

It was the voice of Slinger the Ocelot.

"Don't you worry your pretty head about me, Ocelot." Rouge cooed, "I'm already in the mansion, and I've got to say, this mysterious dealer knows how to put on a party! I'm surprised that Dodon Pa even allowed this event! But seeing that he never takes sides...I guess it's not too surprising."

"Hey Rouge!" a female voice squealed through her eyepiece. 

Rouge immediately smiled. It was Salkia, her sweet little student. Well, she wasn't little anymore, but Rouge couldn't get the cute little 10 year old out of her head, who wanted to learn how to kick but. 

"If any of the food looks good, save me some! Okay!?" Salkia asked.

"Will do, honey!"

Slinger gave out a groan.

"Just stay focused, alright!"

Rouge rolled her eyes. She could tell he was in one of his moods again.

"Relax, Slinger. No need to get snippy!" she said.

"Yeah! We all know you're jealous!" Salkia added. 

"Mm hmm!" Rouge smiled.

Slinger released another groan, which made Salkia giggle. She knew she shouldn't be teasing Slinger when he's like this, but he's been acting like a big grump the whole day. And she was tired of it! 

Salkia and Rouge continued to pester Slinger with their giggles, until he finally spoke.

"That's not the reason why!" Slinger argued.

This made Rouge and Salkia both fall silent. They knew what he was talking about. [Author: Chapter 4 reference] No one spoke for sometime.

Rouge sighed and decided to change the subject and break the awkward silence.

"By the way, what do you mean by 'Rouge needs to do her part'? You two are the ones assigned to get the package! I'm just here in case there's a slip-up."

"And to secure our escape route!" Slinger emphasized.

"Which I already have covered!" Rouge insisted, "Now you stay focused on your job, while I stay on mine."

Slinger sighed. "Fine. We'll contact you when the package is secured."

Rouge's communicator went silent and she continued to make her way through the crowd, as different fragments of conversations caught her ears. 

"I wonder what makes this relic so powerful?" asked a female.

"Whatever it is I bet it's worth a fortune!" another spoke.

"Everyone's assuming that this relic has power, but for all we know, it could be a hunk of junk!"

"Well, if that were true, then Dodon Pa wouldn't have allowed this event to take place in his mansion in the first place."

Well, would you look at that!, Rouge laughed to herself. It seems everyone's here to get their hands on the relic. Huh! Too bad none of them will have a chance to see it!  

"What I really want to know" a male's voice began, grabbing her attention, "is who this mysterious dealer is? He clearly doesn't care who gets the relic as long as he's getting paid. And I for one, don't trust those kinds of people. If I'm going to get that relic, I need to first know who I'm dealing with." 

"Smart guy." Rouge whispered, as she approached the stairs to the second floor. 

"Okay Rouge, enough eavesdropping. You got a Mobian to find." 

Once atop the second floor, she looked about and immediately identified this level as the party floor. The music was louder here and gambling tables, slot vendors, pool tables and the like were scattered throughout the joining rooms. Rouge felt like she had walked into a casino.

Rouge peered over the corridor's open railing, and took one last look at the faces below, trying to find the one Mobian who would know how to pinpoint Devious. But she had no such luck. Rouge sighed. She knew it was a long shot. This guy was wanted after all, but Rouge couldn't ignore her strong hunch that he'd be here. 

Rouge gritted her teeth in frustration.

Where is he!?

Time was of the essence. She and Metal only had a limited amount of time to locate Devious, before Salkia and Slinger collected the relic. If her sources were correct, the best and only person who could find Devious quickly would be his favorite broker.

Rouge looked over the crowd again, but she still couldn't spot her man.

That cat could be hiding anywhere! I better check in with Metal to see how he's doing.

"Metal, honey? This is Rouge. Do you copy?"

There was no answer. 

"Metal, come in! This is Rouge. Did you find anything?"

Still silence. Rouge was about to try again, when a deep sinister voice startled her from behind. 

"Looking for someone in particular, my dear?"

Rouge spun around to come face to face with the infamous psychic magician Mammoth Mongul. 

His large tan trunk was almost touching her nose. Rouge could smell thick expensive cologne and winsted.

It was never easy to frazzle this bat; she has faced many dangers before, all without hesitation. Some, even close to death, but Rouge also knows when she's met her match. 

The hairy elephant towered over the bat, making her appear small and insignificant. Mongul's dark green orbs pierced through Rouge's teal eyes, paralyzed her. She remained in his gaze for ten full seconds.

A small smile slowly crept on the mammoth's face. Was Rouge terrified? Yes. Did she want to scream and fly away to safety? Yes. Was she going to show it? Not on her life!

The Bat released herself from Mongul's spell; eyes sparkling with defiance, as she matched the beast's smile with her own.

"I'm surprised at you, Mongul!" Rouge scolded, "You of all people should know not to be here! It could be dangerous for you." 

Mongul smiled at the bat's attempted threat, and decided to give one of his own.

"My dear, Rouge. I appreciate your concern but I can assure you that I am not the one who is in the least bit of danger."

"Is that so?" Rouge questioned, trying to sound unaffected by his words, "Well, even still! I would think you would send one of your mindless followers to get the relic for you to save you the trouble."

"Don't be so quick to judge, bat. I have sent one of my men to take care of the relic. I'm here for a different reason, and being here is no trouble at all."

Rouge raised a painted brow, "Oh?" 

"Yes. Just like you, I'm looking for someone, a colleague of mine." Mongul leaned down to bring his face closer to Rouge's ear. "And perhaps", he whispered "my colleague is the same pink cat dealer you're looking for." 

Rouge took a step back. 

How does he know about Locky!? 

Rouge swallowed, as her heart raced.

"I'm sorry, who?"

"No need to hide it, Rouge! Someone of your acquaintance told me all about it."

Rouge gasped.

Oh no, Metal! 

"No need to worry about your robot friend, my dear; he's perfectly safe. But I know he'll appreciate your concern." 

As he said this, Mongul's eyes met Rouge's and his distinct facial features began to pixelate before her. It was just for a brief moment, but Rouge could clearly see the face of her comrade. 

"..."

"..."

"Metal, …" Rouge whispered, "I'm gonna knock your bolts right out of you! And turn you into scrap!"

Metal Sonic quickly returned to his cloned form and moved out the way, before a slap could be delivered to his face. Some guests saw the scene and were shocked at Rouge's bravery.

"Why so anger?..." Metal Sonic questioned. His voice was just above a whisper. "Did I scare you?"

"Shut. Up." Rouge growled.

"Okay, okay! I just came down to tell you some news." Metal rose to his full cloned height and peered down at Rouge.

"Then start talking!"

"Not here." Metal instructed, still holding Mongul's deep voice. "Follow me."

Metal brought Rouge to a quiet room somewhere on the second floor. It wasn't like the ballroom, like the other rooms Rouge been in. This was a study. It was large in comparison to most studies, but it was still a study, none the less. 

Once both were safely inside with the door locked, Rouge turned to Metal.

"Now, talk!"

"Why are you still angry?" Metal still was using Mongul's voice. 

"Metal, stop with the cloning for one second and talk to me!"

Metal sighed, and returned back to his normal self. Rouge let out a small breath she didn't realize she was holding. Rouge folded her arms, waiting to hear her comrade's message.

"I was surprised at how many Mobians came to Dodon Pa's Mansion." Metal said simply." 

"That's what you wanted to tell me!?" Rouge screamed.

"Rouge, if you do not wish for us to be discovered in a restricted area, I suggest you lower the volume of your voice." 

"I'll start lowering my voice, when you stop messing around! Now, tell me why you brought me here!?"

There was a silence in the air, as each stared at the other.

"I found him." Metal calmly spoke.

"What?"

"I found him." Metal repeated, "I found Locky."

.

.

.

Exsert from Shadamy fanfic "12 Years Later: A New Dawn". You can read the rest of this chapter and more on Wattpad, DeviantArt, Quotev, or Webnovel.

[orangeoctopi7]

Family Fun Day

The latest chapter of the Spider Stan AU is here!

Stanford came down to breakfast well-rested and refreshed Saturday morning. Fiddleford was supposed to get back tomorrow night and while Ford was still hurt that his best friend would lie to him, he was eager to finally start making some headway on the portal project. Stan, on the other hand, came into the kitchen looking as disheveled as his brother had ever seen him. There were dark bags under his eyes, and he was still wearing the same clothes he’d had on last night, now wrinkled as an old man. Ford figured this was approximately what he himself had looked like during finals week in college.

“Did you sleep at all last night?” The researcher asked his brother.

Stan gave a negative grunt and made a bee-line for the coffee maker.

“What kept you up?” Ford asked curiously.

His brother shrugged. “Readin’.”

“That’s… not like you.”

“Uh… couldn’t sleep. Started reading through some of your nerd stuff, hoping it’d bore me to sleep. Didn’t work.” Stan crossed his arms and glared at an innocuous spot on the ceiling.

“Oh. Well, if you need help sleeping in the future, I’ve developed some meditation techniques that have helped me.”

Stan took several long slurps of coffee and a few mouthfuls of cold cereal before responding. “Nah. I’m just too stressed.”

“Yes, meditation is meant to help with that.”

“We both been workin’ too hard! We needa take a day off and have some fun!” Stan continued right over his brother’s comment on meditation. “McWhozit’s been havin’ fun in California this whole time, playin’ with his kid, makin’ love to his wife. We deserve a break too!”

“I thought we had fun the other day while we were weight-testing the web shooters.”

“Well, sure, but that was mixin’ work an’ pleasure. I mean actually taking a break . No tests, no studies, no scientific observation. When’s the last time you did that?”

“Well, there was the night I spent at the Corduroy's cabin… although, it turned out to be haunted. I learned a great deal about ghosts, though.”

Stan pinched the bridge of his nose. “Yeah, that. That’s exactly the kind of thing I’m talkin’ about. Even when you’re supposed to be takin’ it easy, you end up doing research and/or almost dying. But not today! I officially declare this Family Fun Day! I’m gonna make sure you take a break. What do you do for fun in this hick town?”

Ford rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Well… there’s an arcade downtown. I hear they just got a new, cutting-edge game!”

Stan rolled his eyes. “Ugh, nerd stuff.”

“Oh, come on, there’s plenty of games where you punch things! You’ll love it!”

“Alright, fine. If that’s what you really wanna do, I’ll give it a shot.”

* * *

The arcade was small, dark, and noisy. Stan was honestly surprised his brother liked it here. He remembered his brother liking quiet, brightly lit places, like the window seat at the library, or an empty beach. The arcade was… overstimulating.

First, Ford dragged him over to what was apparently the newest and most popular game in the whole place. The art on the side of the cabinet showed a gorilla carrying off a damsel in distress, chased by a guy with a red hat and big mustache. It reminded Stan of one of his favorite Harry Claymore movies. Unfortunately, it seemed like every kid and nerd in town wanted to play this game.

“They really should devise a system where they can call up your number when it’s your turn to play.” Ford grumbled as he looked at the long line crowded around the console. “Well, I’m fairly sure that’s just a single-player anyway. Let’s find something cooperative.”

“Um, ok.” Stan followed his brother to another cabinet with no line. It was painted black, with the words BIRD FIGHT written in fancy script at the top, and a knight riding a beautiful white bird flying across the side. Stan watched the pixels move across the screen. “So in this game, you play as a sword-wielding knight… riding a swan?”

Ford scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. “I know it’s silly, but it’s a really fun cooperative game.”

“Are you kidding?” Stan laughed. “That’s the most intimidating thing I’ve ever seen! I tried to break into a mansion with swans on the grounds once. They gave me way more trouble than any guard dog ever did. I almost lost an eye!”

Stan struggled to learn the controls, despite Ford’s efforts to explain them to him. It had a control stick, but it only went left or right. To fly, you had to repeatedly tap the button to flap the swan’s wings. Stop flapping, and you would slowly descend.

“This is dumb.” Stan complained as he died a second time. “Why can’t I go up and down usin’ the stick thing? And how’d my guy get all the way on the other side of the screen all of a sudden!?”

“It’s a wrap around.” Ford replied, as though that meant something.

They made it through the first wave of enemies, mostly thanks to Ford, but it wasn’t long until Stan lost all four of his lives and he was stuck just watching his brother play, because he refused to waste more quarters on this thing. “This is too complicated.” He huffed.

“Well, let’s play something a little simpler.” Ford suggested. They wandered to the back of the arcade, Ford looking over all the different options, trying to decide which one Stan would enjoy. A light gray-and-black cabinet in a dark corner caught his eye. “Hmm, I haven’t seen this one before… Corner of Contradiction? Looks like a beat-em-up, I’m sure you’d enjoy that.”

The controls were certainly more straightforward than Bird Fight. There was a control stick to move your character around the screen, one button labeled “PUNCH”, the other labeled “JUMP”. Enemies always came in from the right side of the screen, so Stan didn’t have to split his attention as much either. He definitely took to this one much more quickly than the last game, but he was still clearly lagging behind Ford in skill. They made it through a whole level before Stan finally ran out of lives again, and Ford knelt down to add some more quarters to allow him to continue playing.

“Oh, what’s this?” The researcher paused when something caught his eye. When he stood back up, he was holding a small scrap of paper with some sort of symbols scribbled onto it. “Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A…” He read out loud. “I suppose B could be the jump button…” Ford input the code, and suddenly both of their life counters read 30. “Fantastic!”

Stan groaned. “We’re gonna spend all day playin’ this game!”

“Aren’t you having fun?” Ford shot him a concerned glance.

“Well sure, but I don’t wanna stay here playin’ this one game through 30 lives, even if I am losing three of them a minute!”

Ford smirked. “You’re just jealous that I’m actually better than you at fighting for once.”

“Please.” Stan scoffed. “Pushin’ a button isn’t fighting. If any of these games were anything like real fighting, I’d cream you.”

Ford’s face lit up. “I think I know just the game!” Once again, he led Stan through the arcade, this time coming to a stop at a very old game cabinet decorated like the American Flag. Instead of buttons or a control stick, it had two red boxing gloves attached to levers. PIXELWEIGHT CHAMP by SHMEGA the sign at the top read.

Stan grinned and cracked his knuckles. “Now this is more like it!”

The gloves were a little small, obviously meant for children, but Stan managed to squeeze his hands in. It wasn’t exactly like real boxing, but he still preferred it to the clunky control sticks and buttons of the other games. This game could tell if he was punching up, down, or even swinging a hook! Ford, for his part, seemed happy to just stand and watch his brother play for a while.

Stan made it through several bouts before finally reaching the final boss. It was the first opponent the game had thrown at him that really gave him any trouble. It kept on dodging every blow he aimed at the computerized contender. Finally, in a fit of frustration, he fell back on his signature move.

“Left Hook!” he shouted.

The left-hand controller ripped out of the cabinet with a metallic shriek and a sputter of sparks.

The twins gaped at the broken and now lightly smoking game before them.

“Time to go.” Stan said quickly, dropping the broken controller on the floor.

“Agreed.”

* * *

“Welp, that was a disaster.” Stan grunted as they sped away in his car. “Hopefully nobody calls the cops.”

“Perhaps, but at least I finally found a game you had fun with.” Ford smiled as he jotted down the cheat code he’d learned earlier in his Journal.

“Yeah, but now we got nothin’ to do for the rest of the day. Yeesh, this car is like an oven.” Stan griped, rolling down the windows. “There a pool in this town?”

“Yes, but I wouldn’t recommend we go there.” Ford made a disgusted face. “It’s not exactly sanitary and I have reason to believe one of the life guards is a berserker.”

Stan grimaced. “Yeah, public pools are basically like underwater public busses. But it’s just so stinkin’ hot!”

Ford flipped absentmindedly through his Journal, suddenly stopping when a particular page caught his eye. “We should go to the beach!”

“I ain’t drivin three hours back to Portland just for the beach.”

“No, the beach at Lake Gravity Falls. It’s not exactly like the beach we grew up with but… it does remind me of home.”

“Alright, beach it is! Let’s swing back to your place and grab some swim stuff.”

* * *

The lakeside beach was very different from Glass Shard Beach. For one, it smelled a lot better. The shade of the surrounding cliffs and trees were much welcomed relief from the burning sun. Still, the gentle lapping waves of the lake were nothing compared to the majesty of the ocean. Ford didn’t have an extra pair of swim trunks, so Stan had to acquire some from the nearby bait and tackle shop while his brother wasn’t looking.

“Strange.” Ford mused as he observed the deserted lakeshore. “Given the extreme temperatures and the impending start of the school year, I expected this place to be packed.”

“It was, this mornin’.” The grizzled old lady who ran the bait and tackle shop wheezed ominously. “But somethin’ washed ashore that spooked ‘em all away!”

“What was it?” The researcher asked excitedly.

“Oh no you don’t!” Stan grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him back. “Family Fun Day, remember?”

“A giant tooth!” The woman cackled.

“Stanley, come on!” Ford pleaded.

“You need a break, genius!”

“Wasn’t this morning at the arcade enough?”

“Nope. Not for how long you’ve been without one. Now put on some sunblock. This tooth thingy will still be there tomorrow.”

“I bet you twenty dollars it won’t.”

“You should really know better than to bet against me by now.”

* * *

Stan found them a spot on the beach with plenty of shade from a large tree, with plenty of branches hanging over the water, and a couple of large fallen logs that made a good place to sit and leave their stuff without getting sand in everything.

“Y’know, it’s a good thing nobody else is here. Cuz look what I brought!” Stan pulled out one of the web shooters. “The world’s greatest rope swing!”

When Ford didn’t answer, he looked up to see his brother standing on the taller of the two logs, a pair of binoculars in hand, staring at a spot about a mile up the beach where Stan could see the giant tooth the old lady had mentioned. It was easily the size of his car. Ford stuffed the binoculars in his pocket, started a quick sketch in his Journal, and picked them up again for another look. Stan rolled his eyes with a sigh, put on the web shooter, and thwiped a line onto the binoculars, yanking them away with a flick of his wrist.

“Hey!” Ford whined.

“Hey yourself. We’re here to have fun, remember?”

“This is fun to me!” the researcher steamed.

“I know, nerd, but if you keep on working every day without takin’ a break every once in a while, even if it is fun for you, you’re gonna run yourself ragged!”

Ford grumbled, but he couldn’t help but see the sense in his brother’s words. He really hadn’t stopped studying and exploring and theorizing in the past six and a half years, not even for a day. And yet before Bill had proposed the idea of discovering the dimension of weirdness, he’d felt stuck in a rut. He still did, in some respects. Could it be due to burnout?

Still, he wasn’t about to tell Stan he was right. He put his Journal down with a beleaguered sigh. “It’s probably just something to do with the height-altering crystals.” He then looked up with a grin. “So, are you proposing a jumping contest?”

“You know it!” Stan shot a line up to the highest sturdy branch he could find hanging over the lake. “So, has this gauntlet got like, I dunno, a quick release button or something?”

“Actually, it should be waterproof.”

“Should be?”

“Well, I never got around to testing it.”

“Why does that not surprise me? Alright, I’ll take first swing.”

“Why do you get the first swing?” Ford protested.

“Because I’m the one who’s used these things the most, and I’m the most likely to survive if something goes wrong.”

The researcher rolled his eyes, but let his brother proceed with the first swing. Stan ran down the beach, lept off one of the logs, and let the line swing him over the water, where he released the line and sailed forward into the lake with a resounding splash.

“How was that?” Stan asked as soon as he poked his head back out of the water.

“Amateurish!” Ford grinned smugly. “You weren’t even close to the maximum distance of your swing, and your release arc was shallow.”

“Alright, Dr. Physics, let’s see you do better!” Stan splashed him and then threw the web shooter to the shore.

Ford ran along the largest log, leaping off the end towards the water before firing the web shooter up at a high branch. The line held fast, and whipped him out over the water. Just at the farthest point of the pendulum swing, Ford swung his legs out for a little more momentum, then released the line, throwing himself in a long arc before finally crashing down into the lake. He’d almost doubled Stan’s distance.

“Hah!” Ford laughed triumphantly as he swam back to shore.

“Pch, I can do that.” Stan scoffed.

“Well then, why didn’t you?”

“Cuz I didn’t know how until you just showed me, genius.”

Stan’s second attempt followed Ford’s example. He ran along the log and jumped into the air, but he could jump much higher than his brother, and his enhanced senses allowed him to pinpoint exactly where the best place to anchor for his line would be in that split-second of air-time. As the line stretched over the water, Stan shifted his weight and his grip, basically throwing himself off the end of the swing. He practically flew over the water before splashing down, easily doubling his brother’s distance.

“The student has become the master.” Stan grinned when he saw Ford’s shocked expression. They continued to use the web shooters as a rope swing for another couple of hours, each of them improving their techniques to go higher and farther each time, although Ford could never beat Stan’s distance again. Eventually, the researcher gave up on improving his own distance, and set about figuring out how to help Stan break his own record.

“It’s all about momentum.” Ford explained. “You’ve already perfected throwing yourself off the line at the farthest point of the pendulum’s swing, in order to produce the farthest arc you can. In order for you to reach even further into the lake, you’ll need more momentum, and at this point, the best way to add more momentum is to chain together more swings.”

“So, like we were doin’ in the forest a few days ago?”

“Exactly.”

Stan felt his stomach churn at the memory of how the branch had snapped, how he’d unexpectedly started falling. He wasn’t exactly afraid of heights anymore… he was just afraid of being up high and something going wrong. Still, he’d really gotten the hang of swinging today, and chances were even if something did go wrong, he’d just splash down into the lake. That would be fine.

“Ok, I’ll give it a shot.”

Stan climbed up one of the big pine trees a few yards back from the beach, found a sturdy branch to stand on, picked out his first anchor, and leapt into the air. Time seemed to slow down as he reached the end of his first swing. He picked out another anchor over the lake, released his first line, and swung out above the water. He could feel his own weight pulling him forward even as he came to the end of his rope, the momentum Ford had been going on about. Stan just shifted to let the weight carry him on further, and let go of the line. The air rushed past him as he continued up another foot before gravity finally started to overcome his forward motion. When he finally splashed into the water, he was so far from the shore, his brother looked like a little doll.

“Hah, I’m gonna be half-way into the lake if I go any further!” Stan laughed when he finally made it back to shore.

“You probably could, if you got swinging fast enough. Or if we added more weight.”

“More weight, huh?” Stan mused.

“I suppose we could stick water bottles to you, like we did with the car, although I fear that may increase the risk of a bad belly-flop….” Ford trailed off as he saw his brother grinning mischievously at him. “What?”

“I know a way we can double our weight.”

“‘We’? Oh no, no, no, no. No!”

* * *

“The greatest mystery is how I let you talk me into these things.” Ford grumbled, clinging to his brother’s back like a baby monkey.

“Quit your whining, I’m the one who’s afraid of heights.”

“...I honestly thought you were over that. What with the climbing buildings and all.”

“Eh, it’s complicated. I’m still not great with heights, but if I have something sturdy to hold onto or a reliable way to catch myself, it doesn’t bother me as much.”

They reached the large branch that Stan had used for a jumping-off platform before. Stan lined up his first anchor while Ford tried his best not to throw his brother off-balance. “You ready?” The Spider Man asked.

Ford took a deep breath before nodding. “Ready.”

At first, it wasn’t too different from the rope swing, except now he was holding onto his brother’s shoulders for dear life. Then they reached the end of the first pendulum swing and Ford felt his stomach leap up as they briefly achieved weightlessness. Then the forward yank of the next line set his heart racing as they shot up, over the water. There was one final moment of weightlessness, and Ford let out a holler of delight before finally dunking into the water.

It was better than any roller-coaster.

They came up out of the water gasping and laughing, splashing and shouting with triumph. It wasn’t exactly half-way into the lake, but they’d certainly gone farther than ever before. Unfortunately, that also meant it was a much farther swim back to shore. By the time they got back, the sun was starting to set.

“Welp, better lay down and dry off in the sun while we still can.” Stan mused, pulling off the web shooter and trying to find a spot on the log that wasn’t covered in shade.

“Actually, I think I know a faster way to dry off.” Ford picked up the gauntlet and gave his brother a significant look.

“Really, you wanna go again?”

“Just the swinging bit. The air rushing past us will dry us off in no time.”

Stan rolled his eyes. “Alright, if you’re sure.”

The second time wasn’t nearly as scary to Ford, although he got the feeling Stan was still a little apprehensive about swinging with a passenger. Still, they swung through the trees together with little problem. It was thrilling. And while it certainly dried them off, the rushing air coupled with the dropping air temperature presented a new problem.

“Cccold!” Stan stuttered as they came to a stop back at the beach where they had left their things. He quickly changed back into his jeans and a jacket.

“We’ll have to remember to do this to dry off while the sun is still high, in the future.”

“Oh, so you’re sayin’ you’d do Family Fun Day again?”

Ford rolled his eyes, but smiled. “I’m sure you’ll force me to take breaks more often than once every six years.”

DOG KLJQ TTIE Y KUZ LLW? BHMB L QSODM QCXT! U KLL’Y WMQE RT FUVLJQY EPZU DOGZ HMWLP PZU YO DMLJQY BICRD!

[daleisgreat]

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

A movie podcast I listen to, The Big Picture, did a recent episode on the 10th anniversary of 2010’s Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (trailer). Coincidentally enough, that film remains in my backlog box all these years later, so I made sure to re-watch it before giving that podcast a listen. For those unfamiliar with this film, it is based on a series of six graphic novels of the same name by Bryan Lee O’Malley released between 2004 and 2010. The basic gist is that Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera) falls for newcomer to town, Ramona Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead). In order to win her over Pilgrim has to defeat Ramona’s “Seven Evil Ex’s.” Scott spends the rest of the film exploring Ramona’s mysterious past and dueling her ex’s while practicing with his band, Sex Bo-Bomb, as they progress through a battle of the bands tournament. Sex Bo-Bomb is one slick act! Stephen Stills (Mark Webber) is the doom-and-gloom frontman of the band. Kim Pine (Alison Pill) is a 2010 take on Daria and effectively nails her vintage expressionless glares and blunt quips. Young Neil (Johnny Simmons) is the affable, DS-loving, always ready alternate for Sex Bo-Bomb. Their #1 fan and also other girlfriend of Scott Pilgrim is one Knives Chau (Ellen Wong). Knive’s arc is probably my favorite of this ensemble cast as her journey from adoring fan and girlfriend to her final destination is a fascinating quest to see develop and a faithful translation from the books.

I first heard of the books on the videogame podcast, Team Fremont Live where they reviewed the first book and their breakdown of it caught my attention when they dissected all the nonstop videogame references that are peppered regularly throughout it. The film captures that imagery to a T where it feels like Pilgrim is living in a real life videogame. In this world suspending disbelief is required because it is jam-packed with extraordinarily choreographed battle scenes, makes anyone capable of instantly pulling off bombastic martial arts moves in the blink of an eye without any training whatsoever, and quirky little animations of objects like Mario Bros.-esque coins and pixelated items inserted throughout that any videogame fan will pick up on. The fighting game fan in me popped a little each time a thunderous “KO” blared out each time Pilgrim emerged victorious after an evil ex duel. As a lifelong fan of videogames, it was fun picking up on all the references and Easter eggs in the background throughout. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World hit at an interesting time where Michael Cera was the only established star at this point in 2010 and was riding the last wave of critical success coming off of Arrested Development, Superbad and Juno. Brandon Routh is noteworthy appearing here as one of the evil ex’s after flaming out in his single appearance in a Superman film. However, a few other stars are here right before they exploded into bigger success like the aforementioned Mary Elizabeth Winstead. Chris Evan is here as another evil-ex shortly after his two Fantastic Four films, but a year before donning the Captain America costume for the first time. Anna Kendrick is here in a small role as Scott’s sister Stacey while in the midst of her initial Twighlight run. Finally, Brie Larson is here as Scott’s evil-ex, Envy Adams and she is the lead for her band, Clash at Demonhead in my personal favorite musical performance of the film as they belt out “Black Sheep.”

It is worth repeating that I highly recommend suspending all disbelief going into Scott Pilgrim vs. the World and simply roll with it. The battle scenes are a hoot to take in and feature a ton of CG that holds up well ten years later. It is also worth pointing out this film is part absurd videogame battles, part early 20s love triangle drama and to a lesser extent part musical with several performances from Sex Bo-Bomb and other bands throughout the film. Director Edgar Wright tracked down a few bands to play the tracks for some of the featured bands in the film such as Beck performing the handful of Sex Bo-Bomb songs in addition to a slew of other tracks from artists like The Rolling Stones and Blood Red Shoes that perfectly supplement the outlandish tone of the film. It is not too often on here I recommend hunting down the soundtracks for a film, but the soundtrack for Scott Pilgrim vs. the World I wholeheartedly recommend! I think the Scott Pilgrim vs. the World BluRay may have set the record for amount of extra features for a single film in the near seven years of movies I have covered on this blog. A rough tally on my notes gives an approximate sum of nearly five hours of bonuses, and then four feature length commentary tracks on top of that! I will not detail every bonus, but will give some highlights of the ones that stood out for me. There is just under a half hour of deleted scenes with or without commentary from Edgar Wright. Most of them are extended scenes from the first act to trim out excess background info, but an alternate ending is what stood out the most that Wright explained he changed because it did not go over that well in test screenings. I can always appreciate a good blooper reel, and an excellent 10 minute reel is compiled here that I would rate right up with the stellar ones in the Marvel films.

There are three features grouped together in the ‘Docs’ section of the extras tallying up to a little over an hour. If you only had time for one of the five hours of bonuses I would go there because that has the core making of documentary which breaks down collaborating with Bryan Lee ‘O Malley, nailing the casting, detailing the extensive stunt training and interviews several of the bands about being featured in the soundtrack. Speaking of the soundtrack, there are four music videos included. Definitely check out the four minute animated short, Scott Pilgrim vs. Animation that is essentially a prequel to the film that dives into Scott and Kim’s former relationship. There are 12 ‘Video Blogs’ totaling 45 minutes that are raw on set interviews with the cast and crew between takes that sees the crew up to all kinds of mischief to kill downtime. This BluRay easily has the largest photo gallery of any home video I have covered with several hundred photos. One gallery is labeled ‘storyboards’ but each storyboard panel is nearly identical to the excellent quality of the art in Bryan Lee O’Malley books so that is essentially a free comic book adaptation of the movie buried in the extras! I experienced all four of the commentary tracks in one re-watch of Scott Pilgrim vs. the World via jumping around to a different commentary about every five minutes. Edgar Wright is on two of them, one with Bryan Lee ‘O Malley and writer Michael Bocall and the other with photography director Bill Pope. The other two commentaries are split among nine cast members, with Michael Cera and the rest of the leading cast on one and the ancillary cast members on the other cast commentary track. Wright has tons of nonstop insight and production facts on his tracks, and the cast tracks are have a lot of fun anecdotes such as Cera failing at trying to get additional people on the commentary via phone call. On top of the commentary I had on during my re-watch was also a factoid subtitle track to really take in the extra features. Despite going on now for three paragraphs about the bonus features, I think I only touched on about half of what is available, and it is truly astonishing to see how much they crammed into one BluRay disc.

A part of me thought going into this that Scott Pilgrim vs. the World would not hold up after 10 years. I would chalk that up to thinking I may have got easily won over with all the hype from being vastly into the books back then and being too caught up into the build to the film’s initial release. I can put those reservations to rest thankfully as I immensely enjoyed this ode to videogame fandom as much as I first did in 2010. Throw in a plethora of extra features to last all year to make Scott Pilgrim vs. the World one of my highest recommendations yet! If you want even more commentary from me about this film than below I have embedded the podcast I originally recorded 10 years ago shortly after seeing the film on its opening weekend. I bring on a couple other special guest hosts that are also ardent Scott Pilgrim fans and we review the film, soundtrack, the books and the videogame. Enjoy!

I brought on a couple other Scott Pilgrim experts on as guest hosts on my podcast to review the film, books, videogame and soundtrack shortly after they all released 10 years ago. Check it out in the embed above for more Scott Pilgrim goodness or click or press here to queue it up for later. Other Random Backlog Movie Blogs 3 12 Angry Men (1957) 12 Rounds 3: Lockdown 21 Jump Street The Accountant Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie Atari: Game Over The Avengers: Age of Ultron The Avengers: Infinity War Batman: The Dark Knight Rises Batman: The Killing Joke Batman: Mask of the Phantasm Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice Bounty Hunters Cabin in the Woods Captain America: Civil War Captain America: The First Avenger Captain America: The Winter Soldier Christmas Eve Clash of the Titans (1981) Clint Eastwood 11-pack Special The Condemned 2 Countdown Creed I & II Deck the Halls Detroit Rock City Die Hard Dredd The Eliminators The Equalizer Dirty Work Faster Fast and Furious I-VIII Field of Dreams Fight Club The Fighter For Love of the Game Good Will Hunting Gravity Grunt: The Wrestling Movie Guardians of the Galaxy Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 Hell Comes to Frogtown Hercules: Reborn Hitman I Like to Hurt People Indiana Jones 1-4 Ink The Interrogation Interstellar Jay and Silent Bob Reboot Jobs Joy Ride 1-3 Last Action Hero Major League Man of Steel Man on the Moon Man vs Snake Marine 3-6 Merry Friggin Christmas Metallica: Some Kind of Monster Mortal Kombat Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpions Revenge National Treasure National Treasure: Book of Secrets Not for Resale Pulp Fiction The Replacements Reservoir Dogs Rocky I-VIII Running Films Part 1 Running Films Part 2 San Andreas ScoobyDoo Wrestlemania Mystery The Secret Life of Walter Mitty Shoot em Up Slacker Skyscraper Small Town Santa Steve Jobs Source Code Star Trek I-XIII Sully Take Me Home Tonight TMNT The Tooth Fairy 1 & 2 UHF Veronica Mars Vision Quest The War Wild The Wizard Wonder Woman The Wrestler (2008) X-Men: Apocalypse X-Men: Days of Future Past

[osmiumamygdala]

Dandelion

Colossus X @boneeating--baastard 's oc, SFW, fluff, Petey being a mother hen, as always.

I used some Russian in this (please do correct me if you see anything wrong so I can fix it!) So some translations:

Lapochka= darling/dear

Milyy= sweet/cute

volzlyublennyy= beloved 

A-one, a-two, a-one two three four!

The heel of Balea's sneakers squeak upon hitting the floor, but their tempo remains impeccable as always. Their fingers dance across the strings of their axe, the pluck-pluck-pluck shooting through the guitar's body and causing their chest to hum.

They aren't performing with their band right now-- no, this is all them, all alone, practicing in the empty art studio of the X-Mansion. Even so, they can imagine-- no, hear, hear as though it were right there-- the rest of the band, playing in synchrony, filling this small room with loud, delicious sound rather than the semi-awkward twang of them, solitary, with their guitar.

Yes, instead of this dark, cramped room, lined wall to wall with easels, paintings, sculptures, and paper mache, there is the steady beat of the drums, the thrill of the bass, the scream of a second guitar. Old, amateurly-made masks that line the wall opposite to them are screaming fans, faces drawn open in cheer. A poster to their left featuring a chameleon grasping a branch bids them "hang in there!" And so, they do.

They've been "hanging in there" all day. All week. All their life, really. Between University, general anxiety, and the normal daily grind-- which is to say, the abnormal shit-storm their life has become since squeezing themself into a superhero uniform-- they really can't seem to catch a break.

Music is a whole different ballpark. Can it be hard work? Yes. But the satisfaction they know they'll feel the second they play the rep right just once, godammit, will be worth it all. They've been working so hard already. The minutes have blurred together into one gross, energy drink infused nightmare. Their fingertips are numb, and they're pretty certain their throat has been torn up so wretchedly that lemon juice won't help it now.

One more rep. Just one more rep.

.

.

.

Piotr finds them at a quarter to midnight. He hears them before he sees them; their voice casting down the empty hallway and echoing back. He stops and listens before trying anything. One part of him feels bad for doing it. After all, he wouldn't want anyone sneaking up on him and stealing peeks at his unfinished artwork without his say. But he can't help himself; hearing his dearest's music in the air is a cause for pause, and so he stops in front of the door, hand hovering above the doorknob, and sighs happily as their melody ebbs and flows and weaves throughout the air.

They're doing a cover of a song right now. He's never been up-to-date with music (he's a little old school, and he'll be the first to admit it. He spends his time listening to classical piano and Neil Diamond), but he thinks he knows this one. It sounds like...oh, what was it called...Creep? By...Radiohead!

Their voice wavers out on the last "I don't belong here," and they let out a nasty sounding cough. He ducks his head down to peer into the slim, rectangular window on the door. He sees them. Balea. That sweet, steadfast, optimistic soul that managed to capture his heart and all of him with it. Their back is facing towards him, their shoulders are sagged as they lean forward, perched on a stool (poor posture, he thinks. We should have a word about that), they're still wearing that same flannel from way earlier in the day (sweat-soaked. Poor thing must be exhausted) and he sees them take a swig of--

Monster. At midnight? Oh no.

They start plucking at the guitar strings again, this time starting up an Insidious original, but he doesn't allow himself to be distracted.

He swings the door upon gently, right as the opening verse begins.

"Balea," He says.

They startle, kicking some empty energy drink cans that were in front of them and nearly dropping their guitar.

"Are you aware of the time?"

"Jesus, big guy! You about gave me a heart attack!" Balea says, their voice raspy. They nervously push their glasses up the bridge of their nose.

Piotr picks one of the energy drink cans--Rockstar--off the ground, wiggles it, and grins, amused. "You mean, before these do?"

"Hah. Hah." Balea laughs humorlessly.

"Balea, my dandelion. Time?"

Balea blanks. "Err…uh...eight, right?"

"Lapochka," he says, sadly and softly, "is midnight.”

They look at the floor, stunned. "Oh."

"How long have you been playing?"

Balea scrubs at their eyes for a moment. "Ah, uh, four hours I think?"

He tsks and walks farther into the room until he's standing right in front of them. He kneels down, places their guitar lightly on the ground, takes their small hands, and rubs his large thumb over one of their bandaged fingers.

"You need sleep," he says gently.

"I need," Balea says, with a hint of annoyance, "to get better. I keep messing up this one song. Just the one! I HAVE to get it before I sleep tonight! I've almost got it!"

Piotr chuckles and moves his right hand to their left cheek. He smiles as he scans over their face, which is pulled into a scowl at the moment. Regardless of the expression, he finds them to be gorgeous, handsome, stunning-- any combination of words he can find to explain the joy he feels upon seeing them.

Even here, in this dark room, and even sleep-deprived and sweaty and peppered with Spiderman band-aids as they are, he sees a piece of art. No person could ever hope to capture their beauty in ink, he thinks, and neither in clay or stone, nor paint or pixels. They are ethereal to him.

Which is why seeing the bags under their eyes and smelling the caffeine on their breath makes his heart clench.

"Please dandelion, you've been working so hard already. You need some rest."

Balea thinks it over for a minute, biting their lip in thought and gazing up into his eyes. "Why do you call me that?" They ask. "Dandelion?"

"I call you "Dandelion" because-" he pauses to plant a kiss to one of their bandaged fingers "-you are like dandelion!"

They frown. "I'm like a weed?"

Piotr is taken aback. He hadn't been expecting that. "Weed is...is just concept people came up with because they are annoyed when plants grow where they don't want them." He laughs at that internally; he was a farmer, and he's dealt with his fair share of 'weeds'. His point still stands, he thinks, because even those 'weeds' can be breathtaking, in his mind.

"You are like dandelion because you are so bright." He says. "And determined. And brave."

"How are dandelions or me brave or determined?" They ask incredulously.

"You stand apart from everything else," he explains. "Like dandelion. Bright and bold. When you perform I...I feel so proud of you. Seeing you, on stage, surrounded by so many people? I could never! But you, you stand there, head held high, and take it in, like flower taking water from soil!

And dandelions grow wherever they can. Even through concrete! You do, too! Whatever life throws at you, you fight through it, and if someone tries to pick you off, well, you just pop right back up, as hopeful as ever!"

Balea grins at that. They are one tough cookie! Many an enemy has learned about their quick regeneration too late.

"I remember the first time I saw you," he says. Balea fidgets in place. They don't really like to remember that day very much. They hadn’t really been themself that day. Not quite. "Before pulling you from the rubble, I thought 'there is no way anything could have survived this'. And then I found you, and pulled you free, and it was like seeing a flower raise its head on the first day of spring. Bright, brave, determined, bold--" he places a round of kisses on their hands "--beautiful."

Balea finds themself shivering under all the affection. "Shuddup, you're making me blush!"

Piotr grins and places a kiss on their cheek. "Milyy."

They giggle before being overcome by a large yawn.

"Sleepy little flower," Piotr comments. "See? Time for bed."

"Noooo," Balea moans. "Just had a Monster. My skeleton is VIBRATING."

"If I had my way," Piotr says sternly, "I would lock all Monsters in a safe and drop them in a bottomless pit."

Balea opens their mouth in mock horror. "That would KILL ME babe! I would die! How EVIL! And here I was thinking the X-Men were the good guys!"

"It is a necessary evil," Piotr says solemnly.

Balea harrumphs and folds their arms.

Piotr's face is beginning to hurt from smiling so much at his beloved, and that fact only makes him smile more. They look so cute when they pout.

"If you come to bed, volzlyublennyy, I will massage all your pain away. I know you get, ah...achy back after practicing too long."

"Just a massage?" Balea asks, wiggling their eyebrows.

Piotr deadpans. "It's midnight. I am tired, love. And you look half awake as is."

Balea shrugs. "Eh, worth a shot."

They bend over to pick up their guitar, placing it neatly in its case. At the same time, Piotr sets to work gathering up all the cans and tossing them in a bin by the door.

Balea stands up, almost falling over themself due to their tired, cramped legs and sudden light-headedness.

"Babe," they say. "Did you see that cool magic trick? I just, like, hopped dimensions."

"No," he says firmly. "You had too much monster and too little movement in four hours."

"Shhhh, no, babe. I've unlocked a secondary mutation!"

He sighs good-humoredly and watches for a moment as Balea attempts to put on their guitar case. Their joints keep popping as they get used to movement again, and they wobble back and forth on their heels unsteadily. Piotr intervenes quickly and takes the case from their hands, slinging it around his own shoulders.

"Honey, wh--" before Balea can finish their question, they are scooped up in a pair of big, strong arms.

That sends them into a fit of laughter. "Babe, babe!" They squeak breathlessly. "You aren't gonna carry me to the room, are you?"

"That is the plan, yes," Piotr says, hugging them close.

"What if someone sees us?" They ask, suddenly timid at the thought of anyone catching them like that.

"Everyone else went to bed at a reasonable hour, love." Piotr scolds, pinching their cheek.

Balea blows a raspberry at him. "Midnight is reasonable for me! I'm a busybody and a night owl, okay!?"

Piotr chuckles and walks out of the art studio, making sure to lock the door behind him (which, he realizes, is difficult when your arms are full of your giggling, squirming lover).

As he makes his way back to their room, he watches the drowsy face of his dearest. He finds it endearing, how they fight to stay awake just so they can have that promised massage and spend more time with him. He hums a little song to himself. Something rock, the title of which is lost to him. All is good

[spartanburger]

Improving the quality of your image renders from SFM

So I’ve seen a lot of SFM renders that are absolutely amazing, with great poses, shot composition, scene setup, and lighting.  However, so very many of them are also rendered at really low quality.  In order to try and inform other users of some simple steps to improve their render quality, I’ve created this post.

Much of what you see here you will likely already know.  However, I encourage you to give it a read over in case there’s something you’ve missed.  This is primarily aimed at rendering still images (posters or image sequences), not video.  

Progressive Refinement Settings

This is the FIRST stop anyone should take to improving their render settings as they are the quickest, easiest, and will often have the greatest impact.  

Depth of Field & Motion Blur

These settings affect Depth of Field (DOF) and Motion Blur, (duh).  These settings work on a sample basis.  The more samples, the better.  

What’s the issue?

By default, SFM uses “use camera settings” as the default number of samples.  The default camera settings are literally the lowest number of samples you can have without turning the effect off:  8x samples.  DOF goes up to 1024 samples and motion blur goes up to 256, which is 128 and 32 times more samples than the default settings.

Here are some examples (effects or lighting exaggerated to show the effect):

No DOF:

Default DOF:

Max (1024) DOF:

No motion blur:

Default Motion blur:

Max motion blur:

You can see the effect is significant in both cases.

Why does this setting matter?

No matter whether you are rendering as a poster or as a image sequence, these settings will change the quality of your rendered image.  Rendering as a poster does not mean you can neglect these settings.  These settings also greatly impact the quality of the Ambient Occlusion (AO), volumetric lighting, and any lights with the radius that are using radius.  If you ever render an image and it’s really grainy, it’s 99.99% likely to be a sample issue.  Turn samples up and re-render.  

What’s the catch?

The only catch with rendering these is that it will significantly impact your render times.  To really show what I mean, here are the render times for the images above, rendered at 3840x2160:

No DOF:  0.368 seconds

8x DOF:  0.606 seconds

1024x DOF:  50.034 seconds

No Motion Blur:  0.299 seconds

8x Motion Blur:  0.500 seconds

256x Motion Blur:  8.356 seconds

In this example, going from default to max samples, DOF and motion blur caused an 82x and 17x, respectively, increase in render time per frame.  This is not additive - combining 128x DOF and 128x motion blur has a negligible increase in render time over 128x DOF with no motion blur.  Still, this is a significant increase.  

what do?

If you are rendering a still image (poster or only a few frames of an image sequence), always push these settings up to the absolute max.  Yes, it may take a little more time.  Your art deserves that little extra polish, and literally the only cost is time.  Be thankful it’s not blender, where single frames can take hours.

I should note that the number of samples that will be rendered will equal the highest number of the two settings.  So if you set motion blur to render at 256x, but DOF to render at 16x, you will get both DOF and motion blur at 256x.  The only way to completely disable rendering one of these effects while keeping the other is to untick the checkbox next to the setting in the progressive refinement settings window.

Subpixel Jitter AA

This setting applies a very light Anti-Alias to your image.  In short, it helps reduce jagged edges.  The effect is subtle, and often can only be seen when checking the image through a difference filter

This setting is ON by default.  There is basically no reason to ever have this turned off, so leave it on by default.  

Poster render vs Image Sequence

There are pros and cons to rendering as posters vs just rendering as a single frame image sequence.  

Why posters?

Poster rendering has three main benefits:

1. Resolution:  You can render at massive image resolutions, allowing you to get the pixels you might want for a professional print.  This is possible because poster rendering renders using a tiled approach.  This is gonna get a tiny bit technical:

SFM is running the Source Engine - a video game engine.  When you have SFM open, that engine is technically running in the background at a certain resolution.  I believe by default, the resolution is set to 1280x720.  When you render as a poster, that resolution is the maximum resolution that the engine can render, so in order to go above that, it splits the desired resolution up into “tiles” that are the same size as the engine’s resolution.  If you’re rendering at 4k without changing anything, that means that you will get 16 tiles:  four wide and four tall.  

Anyway, this means you basically can render at massive resolutions.  But it has drawbacks, as noted below.

2. Particles.  Particle systems, mainly those that change over time, will render exactly at the time of the playhead.  Image Sequences have an issue with this, requiring you to render from the start of the particle system life and render each and every frame forward until the frame you actually want.  

3. Depth of field.  Be it a bug or not, image sequences have an issue with the DOF plane not actually being where the image ends up focusing.  Posters do not have this issue.  More on this below.

Why not posters?

There are four main downsides to poster renders:

1.  Ambient Occlusion:  Ambient Occlusion renders on a per-tile basis.  As a result, rendering at very high resolutions can cause blocky AO to appear.  As an example here’s an image I rendered with the internal SFM engine running at default, rendered AO only at 15360 x 8640 resolution.  I’ve blown the contrast all to hell to really show what the effect is like

In some instances, the effect is minimal enough to be overlooked, but in many it might end up looking bleh.

2.  Bloom.  Poster renders do not render bloom.  At all.  There’s no way to fix it. rip.

3.  Render Time.  In my experience, poster renders take longer to render.  More time is spent in processing writing tiles to file, and stitching them together, so it takes more time for a single frame.  

4.  Annoying.  This may not affect everyone the same, but the fact that a .tga file must render for each poster, no matter what output file you choose is annoying.  Especially if you don’t intend on doing any post processing and just want to post the raw image.  

Why Image sequences?

1.  32 Bit Workflow.  Rendering as an image sequence allows you to render as a .PFM.  SFM is confusing so there’s technically two kinds of .pfm file:  A .pfm depth file, and a .pfm output format.  The depth file is essentially useless outside of incredibly nich uses where you want to create a sort of 3D vision thing where the image can be displayed with depth.  Never tick the ‘Write PFM depth file’ box.  It’s all but useless.

However, under the ‘format’ drop down, there’s another .PFM option.  This is Source Filmmaker’s 32bpc (bits per channel) output format.  All other output formats are at 8bpc.  If you’re not going to be doing any form of post-processing, this is meaningless to you.  However, if you do a lot of post-processing and can utilize all that 32bpc goodness, this is the file format for you.  

I’m still very new to 32bpc workflows, but the quick version of the difference is that 8bpc means that color data is very limited.  On the surface with no adjustments, the two images will look identical.  However, the 32bpc file contains a metric fuckload more color data in it per pixel.  This means that if you’re applying any kind of post processing (at least, post processing that supports 32bpc), you will see significant differences.  

For example, here’s 8bpc with some heavily reduced exposure in post:

And here’s the exact same adjustment made to a 32bpc .PFM file:

What about hue?  Hue change on 8bpc:

And here’s 32bpc

BIG difference.

The only downside is the file size.  As there’s lots more data, .pfm files are hueg.  The above images were rendered at 720p.  The 8bpc .png was 0.6MB.  The .PFM 10.5MB.  

2.  It does what Posters don’t.  Because image sequences don’t using tiling, you won’t ever get that tiled AO issue with posters.  Bloom renders, as well.  In my experience, it renders slightly faster than posters, too.  

Why not image sequences?

1.  Limited resolution.  As I mentioned in the poster section, SFM has an internal engine running in the background.  The resolution of this engine is the maximum resolution you can render an image sequence at.  By default, this is 1280x720.  Through launch commands (see separate section below), you can extend this all the way up to 3840x2160 (~4k) which is nice, but SFM does not support resolutions over this at the time.  4k is still great quality, so this isn’t much of a downside.  However, if you’re looking to get that >4k resolution needed for certain high quality prints, image sequences are no bueno.

2.  Particle Systems.  I touched on this in the Why Posters section, but image sequences have an issue with particle systems.  Particle systems that evolve over time have a start and stop time.  Usually, it takes a few fractions of a second for them to “enable” as the particles are emitted.  Like with a flamethrower.  At 0.00, a flamethrower particle hasn’t thrown any flames yet.  You need to move the timeline along a little bit for the particles to have fully emitted.  With posters, there’s no issue.  However, with an image sequence, SFM cannot deal with particles with a start time that is before the first frame of the render.  So a poster of a flamethrower may show you some nice and toasty bad guys, but the exact same under and image sequence will have barely even a sputter of flame.  In order to work around this, you have to set the desired render frame a few frames ahead in time, and render out each frame as if it were a movie until you get to the desired frame you want.  This takes much more time, and creates many junk image files.

3.  Flexes.  In a similar manner to the particle systems, I’ve noticed that face and body flexes can sometimes not be set properly for the first few frames of an image sequence, requiring you to render out 3-5 frames before they jump into place.  The flexes aren’t jumping from their default position, so it’s not super noticeable.  It’s hard to explain.  I have a video that shows this effect.  Notice how the mandibles jump around a bit.  This is because each change in skin is a change in skin is a new shot in SFM.  Like with particles, the work around is to render out 3-5 frames or so to ensure that the flexes move in place.  

4.  Inaccurate Depth of Field Target.  This mainly effects projects with a very high aperture in the DOF effect (basically, super exaggerated effect).  I do this a lot, and it can be annoying.  Here’s what it looks like:  

I’ve added a pole moving away to the camera to show distance a little better.  Here you can see the focal distance is set on the head of the main character.

You would expect that this would then make the head in focus, but no.  With image sequences, the focus target is a noticeable distance in front of the focal plane.

Posters, on the other hand, work just fine, less bloom.

In fact, to get an image sequence to work fine, you have to kinda guess and check in the viewport to ensure it’s set right.

This error shows up in the viewport no matter what, so if you’re rendering posters, trust that the focal plane is set properly.  For image sequences, you have to let the viewport render in the clip editor to see the DOF and make sure it’s set right.  You’ll have to set the render target to be a little further than your target.  

5.  Annoying.  Posters always render a .tga file?  Image sequences always render a .txt _mainframe file.  This is a log of your render settings and the time it takes to render each frame, which is really neat when checking or testing render settings for videos, but otherwise just another junk file to delete.

Personally, I always use image sequences.  I want that sweet sweet bloom effect, and I can work around the other issues.  Render time is not an issue for me, so I’m more than willing to render out a few frames for particles and flexes, and have gotten used to working around the DOF issue.  And although I’m a resolution nut, 4k is enough for what I want.  

Launch Options

Those of you who have tried to render videos at 1080p or 2160p will know that you have to set a launch option to enable this.  There are several other launch options that you can set to help improve quality.  The great thing about launch options is that they’re almost all ‘set and forget’ settings, which you can just ignore them once you’ve set them.  I’ll go over the ones I use here.

-sfm_resolution 2160

As mentioned above, this enables rendering at 4k as an image sequence.  If you’re rendering as a poster, this will also increase the size of each rendered tile.  This has its downsides though.  As I’ve mentioned, SFMs engine is always running in the background at the resolution you set it to.  So with this launch option set, placing objects, posing, lighting, and moving the work camera around can be noticeably slow, because despite the viewports being small, the game engine is still running at 4k in the background (it sure doesn’t look like it :/).  This can have a massive impact on older hardware.  Hell, I have a beefy computer and even it slows quite a bit just when moving the work camera around if I have this set to 2160, especially in complicated scenes with lighting and AO enabled.  

My advice is this:  Use different settings for this launch option when you’re editing the scene vs when you’re rendering.  I use -sfm_resolution 720 to force it to run at 720p in the background while setting up the shot.  Once I’m happy with it, I will save, close, change the 720 to 2160, relaunch, and then render.  

-sfm_shadowmapres 16384

This one can be more subtle.  Lighting in SFM isn’t “real” lighting.  This is a really simplistic explanation, but shadows from lights have a resolution to them.  You have to think of shadows as a “texture” that is projected out of the light and only shows when the light is blocked by a model.  If the light has a large field of view, to light a large scene for example, this resolution stays the same, but is stretched over a large area.

Imagine drawing in photoshop.  If your image resolution is high enough, drawing curves and detail is smooth and nice.  But if you’re drawing on a blank canvas that is only 300 x 300 pixels, you have fewer pixels to register changes in color, so it becomes blocky.  

By default, the shadowmapres for SFM is set to 2048.  I’ve created a quick scene here with a light with a massive FOV to show what I mean.  Notice how the shadows are horribly low resolution, and that this low resolution shadow is then projected onto everything behind it.  

This launch option forces this resolution higher.  Although it’s technically supposed to max out at 8192, in my experience, it goes up to 16384 without issue:

Much better.  And the best part?  In my experience, this has essentially zero impact on performance and render time.  There’s basically no reason to not have it on.  

NOTE:  If  this launch option doesn’t seem to be working, back it down to 8192 as that’s the officially supported maximum.  In 99.99% of cases, you shouldn’t need anything more than that.  

-r_novis 1

This is less of a quality enhancer and more of a bugfix.  Source engine uses a Potentially Visible Set (PVS) system, which uses the camera to see which parts of the map are visible at a time, and then doesn’t render the parts of the map outside of view.  If you’re having any kind of map visibility issue, this might fix it.  In general, I like to have this setting enabled.  Although PVS is supposed to help performance, in my experience, the effect is unnoticeable.

-nop4

Okay this is just another bug fix one, but if you’re ever encountering a “perforce error” in SFM, this launch option disables perforce.  I dunno what perforce is, and there’s literally no documentation on what it does for SFM.  Well, it does fuckin’ nothing in my books because nothing changes when you put this launch option in, other than getting rid of perforce errors.  

+mat_forceaniso 16

This forces anisotropic filtering.  The shortest explanation is that without anisotropic filtering, textures in the distant appear stretched out.  SFM by default has it set to only 1x pass of anisotropic filtering, which sucks:

SFM supports up to 16 passes.  You can see how the texture almost appears higher resolution with this turned up:

I haven’t noticed any significant performance impact on this effect, though I have noticed that SFM might take a second or two more to launch.  

Okay this was a long post.  Sorry.  rip your timeline.  But I hope these things have helped improve your renders.  

[frogsandfries]

Five year anniversary

I don't think I've ever done anything persistently for five years.

I give myself a lot of grace with this graphic novel though, I allow myself time to diamond paint and crochet. I might actually find myself in this graphic novel for at least five years.

I don't think often about things like holiday illustrations or stickers or pins--merch. But today, I was thinking about where the story will be in five years......... at the rate I'm able to go with coloring, it feels like probably nowhere. I'm already able to see, with the information I have, into issues two and three--I haven't finalized my lineworks yet, so I may add and move around frames between the start of issue two and completing the lineworks for it, but I can already see a few closings for issue two, and I'm even starting to look at more of issue three as I thumbnail into it. At the rate I'm going with coloring, who knows when I'll even be able to start coloring issue three.

I feel like it would be cheating to just release my lineworks as the art themselves, or robbing the reader of an experience of a sort. At the same time, it probably wouldn't kill me to strip the story back further, maybe only color select frames. It's my graphic novel. I'm publishing it on my own. It might be fun to practice my shading? I could always pop in some colored art, and I can't always work on my lineworks, but working on the color work as pixel art is something easily done on my phone, which is usually just sitting around wherever I am--on the bus, out for a walk, sitting between calls at this job right now. I'm sure I could easily boost views, especially on something like webtoons, with just my lineworks, which my partner likes just on their own, so it stands to reason that they probably do look good before color--I just think they look incredible after color.

So.....I got a couple frames digitized last night in just about an hour......I could sit down in a few afternoons, as long as I don't get hung up on anything else like I got hung up on that dream sky at the very beginning, and I'd probably finish issue one in just a couple weeks. In about six months, I could probably fill at least this one sketchbook. I mean, really there are only two things holding me back from just racing off on the linework: a) I get kind of easily fatigued drawing the lineworks, and b) I don't want to wildly outstrip myself on lineworks. I don't like feeling like I'm leaving a mountain of work behind for myself.

But the thing is, nobody wants to wait around to get interested in a graphic novel. If my style speaks for itself, the lineworks should be enough material for people to get invested in, and even better if there's quantity of material. Right?

So....... I'm going to give it a try. I'm thinking about making them ten frame strips for WebToon, and starting each page with a colored frame, as well as adding in colored frames when something maybe interesting is happening--so like, when I first introduce grandma and grandpa, and maybe for the drive to school.

[operationrainfall]

Title Chasm Developer Bit Kid, Inc. Publisher Bit Kid, Inc. Release Date July 31st, 2018 Genre Metroidvania Platform PC, PS4, Vita Age Rating T for Teen – Fantasy Violence, Mild Blood, Alcohol Reference Official Website

I’ve been following Chasm since I first played it at PAX back in 2015. It certainly made its mark on me then, and I’ve been not so patiently awaiting the release date ever since. The game has been delayed a few times, and it totally caught me by surprise when I learned of the release date a day or two before it came out. Thankfully, I was able to talk with developer Bit Kid and and they were kind enough to provide a review copy, which brings us to today. It’s a major challenge for a project to live up to its potential, that wealth of expectations thrust upon it by eager fans. Was Chasm able to deliver on the promise of quality I played in the demo 3 years ago?

While it’s true Chasm is a Metroidvania, I would go a bit farther to help narrow down which sort. In my opinion, it’s most styled after the Castlevania Metroidvanias which released on the Game Boy Advance, specifically it felt like a mixture of Harmony of Dissonance and Aria of Sorrow. To the uninitiated, that means it has complex, seductive graphics, challenging bosses and some very linear exploration. That last point isn’t a complaint necessarily, just something fans of the genre should be aware of. To be fair though, there had to be some exploration that felt a bit blander since the layout of the dungeons are procedurally generated each time you start a new game.

That’s not the only way Chasm reminds me of some great Metroidvania titles. It also manages to capture that air of menace and mystery so crucial to those games. While it’s not very dialogue or plot heavy, you will have important revelations narrated by Professor Baden as he navigates the sprawling corridors you discover. You’ll also find journal entries that do a good job of coloring the world of Chasm and setting the stakes for failure. (This aspect of the game really reminded me of La-Mulana.) The only downside to this approach, at least for me, was that the main character you play is a blank avatar. You can name him whatever you like (I went with Hoss), but other than that he has no distinct characteristics, dramatic backstory or even any dialogue. He’s just a blank canvas you can paint whatever you want onto. While that’s not necessarily a problem, it became a niggling concern for me later in the game.

The premise of the game is that you’re sent to investigate a mining town called Karthas where a giant hole opened up and spewed forth monsters which captured most of the villagers. Your job is to investigate what’s going on and try and save the day. Though things are kept relatively open ended, and you’re mostly left to your own devices, you’re essentially exploring, fighting monsters, saving villagers, rinse and repeat. This pattern is spiced up with a handful of quite challenging boss fights, but other than that it’s pretty predictable. And while you are left to explore on your own terms, the layout is always pretty linear, and you’re unable to proceed past certain points without the proper abilities. These are acquired by finding arcane artifacts, and result in skills most fans will be familiar with – double jump, wall climb, hover etc.

One way that Chasm keeps things interesting is that whenever you rescue a villager, they’ll offer their services for you back at Karthas. (Not unlike the system in Order of Ecclesia.) Thankfully the game has a smart teleportation system, and once you find the proper nodes you’ll be able to effortlessly explore and return to safety when needed. Which is good, since every service found in the game is only accessible in Karthas. By rescuing the villagers, you’ll unlock an item shop, blacksmith and even be able to buy magical spells from an old woman. That last part was especially helpful, since every sub weapon in the game can be unlocked in whatever order you please, for the right amount of gold. (I just wish there was a way to control which sub weapons you have ready to throw, since instead you’re forced to cycle through everything to get to the one you want.) And that brings me to one complaint I had with the game – I never seemed to have enough money. You’ll find most items are relatively expensive, which often leaves you to decide between buying healing potions, new equipment or magical spells. To be fair, you will find item drops from foes on occasion, but the drop rate is quite unpredictable and thus unreliable. Even when you find the villager who will buy gems from you for a hefty price, you’ll still be cash starved most of the time. Thankfully, you’ll always be able to restore your health at save points, though your MP can only be restored back at Karthas, by shattering lamps or with the aid of a tonic.

Make sure to save frequently!

As far as controls, I was very pleased with Chasm. Everything felt tight and intuitive, other than the dash move being tied to the Y button instead of a shoulder button on the XBox 360 controller. It’s effortless to jump around, wall climb, and slash your foes to ribbons. And that’s a good thing, since the combat is fast, furious and somewhat unforgiving. The saving grace is that enemies have lots of visual tells for all their attacks, so once you learn what to expect, you can anticipate and avoid their most devastating moves. This goes double for the challenging boss battles, though don’t expect to get through any of them unscathed. I found the bosses to be the highlights of the game, though there’s plenty of memorable minor enemies, such as the recklessly charging Meatman or the explosive Mushboom.

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Visually, I was quite impressed by Chasm. This is retro done right, with gorgeous pixelated art and tons of details that make this world come to life. Enemies range from comical to homicidal, and nothing feels out of place. I also appreciated smart and efficient use of the screen to display your stats, a clear map screen and even a pop up that appears to show you your current experience when you defeat enemies. This is a game that has done its research and knows what fans of the genre demand, and they delivered. Likewise, the music is wonderful and atmospheric. Each dungeon has it’s own score, and it can range from somewhat Western to downright Medieval. The sound effects also do a great job of grounding you in the game and helping you react intelligently to combat. Put simply, this is a Metroidvania that looks and sounds like what fans have come to expect, and does so with style.

I wish I could end on that high note, but now I feel compelled to mention some areas where I feel the game dropped the ball. Yes, visually the game is beautiful and the controls work quite well. But there’s more to a Metroidvania than just those features. One issue I mentioned earlier was the main character’s lack of personality. This became a problem for me late in the game when I realized his lack of emotion made it harder for me to care about the late game plot elements. Sure, horrible monsters threaten everything, but it’s hard to care when your hero seemingly has no nuanced reason to want to save the day. That may sound a bit critical, but there are other more relevant areas the game becomes problematic as well. About halfway through my 9 hour playthrough, the game started to throw up roadblocks without any clear way how to progress. Multiple times I was forced to look online at FAQs to figure out what I was missing, and oftentimes it was something I wouldn’t have guessed on my own. An example is when you reach the Keep but need the Parachute to progress. Problem is, to find that you need to get a black feather and then return to the Catacombs, find a specific chamber, and then proceed. Unfortunately, given the rogue nature of the dungeons, I was unable to check any online maps for clarity, and had to wander around til I finally found the right room. Which would have been a breath of relief, had it not led me to a pitch black labyrinth full of buzz saws, hideous new monsters and poisonous traps. This was easily the most challenging gauntlet in the game, and unfortunately it was only a sign of things to come. Later on you’re forced to beat what I thought was an optional area just to get an artifact that allows you to proceed past watery depths. Without it, you can’t reach the final area at all. I realize a Metroidvania is partially about exploring the unknown, but getting lost in this sort of game should be a temporary trial followed by a quick eureka moment, not wandering around aimlessly without being sure if you’re even properly equipped to proceed.

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This brings me to another complaint – some things are entirely unexplained in the game. While I don’t necessarily want my hand being held through every hardship, basic mechanics should be clear. However, I was never able to figure out how to level up my magical spells, despite them apparently being capable of leveling up. I also never figured out how to move some stone gates in a couple of areas, even after spending a lot of time exploring every nook and cranny. But perhaps most frustrating for me was that Chasm didn’t live up to it’s rogue nature. Sure, dungeons are different every game, but it’s always playing through the same dungeons with the same items. After playing another Metroidvania called A Robot Named Fight, which does a good job of constantly unlocking new features for progressive runs, the procedurally generated elements in Chasm felt bland and lackluster by comparison. It left me wishing that the game hadn’t embraced rogue at all, and had just tossed in a couple more dungeons and even some alternate endings instead.

I never did figure out how to get past here…

For $19.99, you could certainly do much worse than Chasm. While I don’t feel it entirely lived up to my expectations, it does a lot of things right, and looks and plays quite well. Unfortunately, the decision to make it rogue and the lack of a developed main character prevents it from making its mark as a true Metroidvania classic. But if you enjoy Metroidvanias and are looking for a fun if flawed experience, you should give Chasm a chance. If nothing else, the highlights of this game makes me anticipate whatever project Bit Kid does next.

[easyreview cat1title=”Overall” cat1detail=”” cat1rating=”3.5″]

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REVIEW: Chasm Title Chasm