#please erins she interests me so much

[clanborn]

like water through my claws

[yellowharrington]

save a horse (ride a cowboy!) -- joel miller x reader

pairing + fandom: joel miller x reader, the last of us (hbo)

word count: 3.9k

warnings/notes: smut and porn!!! minors DNI, 18+!!! no outbreak!au. she/her pronouns used, afab!reader (with mentions of body parts), no use of y/n. age gap (joel is at least 10 years older). drinking (both reader and joel), unprotected PIV, oral (f receiving), spanking, dirty talk, car sex. if i missed anything lmk!

a/n: recommended listening: save a horse (ride a cowboy) by big & rich. honourable mention to austin by dasha bc it's been on repeat. please take the time to leave comments/reblog if you liked it <3 thank u for reading!! divider by @cafekitsune

summary: meeting an older man at the bar and spontaneously fucking him in his truck was not on your list of things to do for your first summer back in austin, but what can you do?

You hate going dancing.

Sweaty clubs with bodies brushing up against one another, sticky with the hot summer heat, confined to the walls of a crowded bar and beer sticking to the bottom of your shoes. Not the way you plan to spend your first Saturday night back in Austin for the summer, but Maddy is so convincing, your hand clasped around yours, a pleading look in her eyes. 

“I promise. It’s so fun. We’ll invite Kaylee and Erin and it’ll be a whole thing.”

You rolled your eyes at her, slipping your hand out from between hers. “Fine. One drink, one dance.”

She squealed with excitement and clapped her hands together, stepping up from the small cafe table. “We can pregame at mine. Wear that black top you have.”

You nod, thinking of the top in question. A corseted black thing that didn’t leave much to the imagination, breasts spilling out of the stop beneath the tight stitching. You think it probably got shoved to the back of your closet somewhere.

~

Joel hates going dancing.

Well, he doesn’t hate dancing. He just isn’t good at it, and hasn’t gone since his very early twenties. And he certainly would not be interested in spending the evening with Tommy at a country bar in downtown Austin, surrounded by women who would grimace at a pair of old men taking up a table.

But Tommy is convincing, hands gesturing around him annoyingly, until Joel gives in. “Fine. One drink. Then I’m leavin’.”

“This city is swarming with beautiful women,” Tommy says, knocking back another sip of his hot coffee. “And you’re too holed up inside to meet any of ‘em.”

“I like my own company,” Joel starts, bringing his own coffee mug to the sink. “Some of us are happy by ourselves.”

Tommy snorts, a hand clapping onto Joel’s shoulder. “Keep tellin’ yourself that, big shot. We’ll see when there’s a bunch of hotties in front of ya, then you can tell me that you like being alone.”

Joel gags at his use of the word ‘hotties’, and pulls his work boots on. “I can still change my mind, ya know.”

~ 

Night falls over the suburbs of Austin, taking the sunshine but leaving the humid, sweet heat in the air. You’re surrounded by your friends at Maddy’s apartment, a light pink gloss swiping across your lips. You’ve managed to dig out the top she had mentioned earlier, tied in a tight bow at the back. Your dark jeans hit just below it, letting slivers of smooth skin show, which somehow seemed sluttier than the fact your boobs were practically falling out of the top. Your jeans outlined the plump curve of your ass, a pair of dark cowboy boots adorning your calves. The last time you’d dressed like this was a long time ago, so it felt a little foreign, but not uncomfortable.

The cab ride to the bar is eventful, with 4 girls singing along to the songs on the radio at the top of your lungs. You were already a drink or two deep, having done some brightly coloured shot at Maddy’s house, taking it without thinking. You still weren’t planning on doing anything insane tonight, and bar drinks were expensive, so this was probably the best it was going to get for you.

The car pulls up to the bar and waits for you all to pour out, flashing your IDs to the bouncer, sliding inside past the thrums of people already inside. The bar was almost full, dance floor packed, drinks being poured by every bartender. Neon signs and amber lamps served as the only lighting for the establishment, already making things feel fuzzy around the edges for you.

Joel sits at a rickety wooden table in the corner of the bar with Tommy, scratching the wet label off of his beer bottle. He had fished out a plaid t-shirt from his closet, his usual jeans taught across his thighs and a pair of nicer boots than his work ones on his feet. His hair was pushed back, curls still lapping at the nape of his neck and curves of his ear. He was noticeably older than the other patrons of the bar, painfully aware of that fact, he felt rather uncomfortable. Tommy didn’t seem to mind, feet tapping at the beer-washed hardwood. “Stop lookin’ so mad,” he remarks, close to Joel’s ear. “You’ll scare ‘em all away.”

There are groups of people pouring in from outside, bachelorette parties and frat boys, making Joel feel unbelievably out of place. It was hard to lighten up when he wasn’t sure exactly what he was doing here.

The doors open once more, your group of friends pushing their way through the sea of people, hand in hand. Joel notices, one girl in a cowboy hat, one in denim jean cutoffs, one with a big belt buckle that glints pink against the light. 

Then he notices you.

His face softens as you follow behind your friends, as they push to the front of the line for a drink. He’s got 10 years on you, easy, but that doesn’t stop his cock twitching against the zipper of his suddenly too-tight jeans.

Soft curves, a top that fits you just right, and jeans that accentuate the dips and lines of your body. You’ve got warm energy, a bright smile adorning your glossed lips. 

You barely even notice him, until you turn around and make eye contact, your shining eyes meeting his. He’s too handsome for his own good, biceps and shoulders pressed tight against the sleeves of his shirt. He’s got his thighs spread across the chair he’s sitting in, towards you, almost like he wants you to come and just sit right on his lap.

You offer a small smile across the dim bar, taking your drink and following your friends to the last open table they’d spotted. A high top, back to the stranger now, giving him the opportunity to see your shape. He swears you’re sticking your ass out on purpose, so he can see the soft skin where your jeans meet the bottom of your top. 

“Joel,” Tommy’s voice cuts through the bustle of the bar. “If you’re gonna be so fuckin’ miserable, we can go. There’s another place-“

Joel stops him, teetering his beer towards his brother. “This is fine. We can stay for another round.”

~ 

You pull yourself away from the group after finishing your round of sugary drinks and shots, your head beginning to buzz. “I’ll get the next ones,” you giggle, pushing yourself out of your seat and steadying yourself on the ground. “Green tea shots?” The girls hoot and holler back to you, as you turn on your heels towards the crowded bar. 

Joel gets up, almost looking panicked, when he sees that you’re leaving your group. He downs the rest of his beer and tips his head towards Tommy, as if to ask, “another?”. Tommy nods and sits back in his chair, continuing to observe. Joel makes a beeline, able to slide right beside you in line.

You can smell the cologne and laundry detergent on his clothes while he stands behind you, shuffling on his feet. You can almost feel his nerves, radiating off of his large form. 

He can smell your perfume and shampoo, it’s intoxicating. 

Joel is served first, the bartender leaning forward to listen to his request. “Two Buds, and uh,” you feel a soft hand on your shoulder. If you couldn’t see that it was him, someone would have a black eye.

“What are you drinkin’, darlin’?”

His voice is sweet like honey as he dips down to be so unbelievably close to your ear, his hand now on the side of your arm. Heat spreads up your neck at his proximity. 

“Oh, I’m getting like 4 shots, you don’t have to-“

“What kinda shots?”

“Uh, green tea. Green tea shots.”

“And four green tea shots.”

The bartender nods as Joel slides his cash across the bar, turning, and looking down at you slightly. You feel impossibly small in that moment.

“You really did not have to do that, thank you.” You’re on your tip toes, a hand pressed against his chest now, lips as close to his ear as you can get. 

He shivers. He can’t remember the last time someone was this close to him in this way. 

“No problem,” he waves it off, taking the two beers by the neck of the bottle and moving over slightly for you to grab the shots. 

Your ass brushes across the front of his jeans, and he knows it’s intentional.

“Thanks again for the drinks,” and you’ve disappeared back into the crowd in a second.

Oh. Nevermind.

He can’t help but feel a little dejected, slinking back to his seat with Tommy and passing him his beer. “Struck out, huh?”

“Shut up.”

Joel watches your table still, annoyed, but not entirely surprised. Pretty stupid of him to think you’d want to fraternize with a man such as himself, so much older than you. Maybe he’d come off too strong?

His head is all but hanging in his hands when he watches you get up again, your friends coming along with you. He averts his eyes in embarrassment, not noticing that you’re making your way over to his table.

Tommy notices.

“Ladies!” He draws out, hands thrown up in the air. Joel looks up then, locking in eyes with you immediately.

“Didn’t think I’d leave you hanging, did ya cowboy?” A smile tugs at his lips as you extend a hand to him. “After you were so nice?”

He laughs a little, your other friend taking a hold of Tommy and pulling him towards the crowded dance floor. He’s very easily persuaded.

“Come dance with me!”

“Oh, I’m not a dancer,” he laughs, warm and honeyed. It makes heat pool in your core.

“Neither am I. Come anyways.”

All he can do is obey, taking your hand and letting you lead him away from the table. 

~

The music pulses under your feet as you end up in a tight line, shoulder to shoulder. He can’t stop looking at you, leaning down to speak into your ear. 

“I wasn’t kiddin’ when I said I didn’t know how to dance,” he explains, and his breath is hot against the curve of your ear.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get it when we start goin’. Just follow me.”

And I saddle up my horse

And I ride into the city

I make a lot of noise

Cause the girls

They are so pretty

Joel’s eyes are parked on your body as you start to move along to the steps of the line dance, feet tapping against the hard wood of the floor beneath you. Your hands are up by your face, clapping along to the beat. He tries to follow along, at least stepping in the right direction, clapping at the right time, but it’s no use.

Your body is insatiable - hips rolling to the pounding music. The curves and lines of your ass, paired with the soft tissue of your breasts nearly busting out of the top you chose to wear. Your skin is supple, shining against the dance floor lights that are favouring him right now as he lets a red blush engulf the skin of his cheeks and neck. 

He wonders what it looks like underneath, peeled off and bunched up around your ankles, or thrown on the floor of his bedroom. He thinks of fingering the ties of your shirt, loosening them and pushing it off, his hand across the front of your throat as he makes you look at yourself. How pretty you are. Goosebumps spread across the exposed skin of his arm.

You grab his hand suddenly, and he’s taken out of his daydream. Your eyes are fiery as you let yourself get even closer to him, feeling bold enough to put his hand across the small of your back.

“Follow me,” you command, as he looks down at the footwork you’re doing along to the song.

Riding up and down Broadway

On my old stud Leroy

And the girls say

Save a horse, ride a cowboy!

He attempts to follow it again, egged on by the feeling of your hot skin against his thumb. He could honestly maybe cum just from this touch alone if he really tried.

It’s not actually as hard as he thought, if he concentrates. A few steps, repeated over and over again, until it comes naturally. You notice how easily he picks it up, smiling up at him, beaming up while he’s lost in thought. 

The song picks up, and the whole floor is enthralled by the dance. You see Joel’s smile light up the room, and he hasn’t dared to move his hand from your back. You don’t mind.

When your body turns toward his, he halts before almost running into you, still following the steps along to the song.

“Do you wanna get out of here?”

Your words take him by surprise, but they are not unwelcome. 

“Yes.” His hand envelops yours as he takes a look at Tommy, seeing that he’s still in the throws of the song with your friends.

Your hand leads him off the dance floor and towards the club bathroom, but he stops you, lips close to your ear again. “My truck is parked out back, if we want, a little more, um,” he clears his throat, “privacy.”

“Show me the way,” you smile, letting him pull you out the doors and into the darkness of the parking lot. 

He fishes for his keys nervously when you get to the side of his truck, an older model with blue paint. He can’t remember the last time he did anything like this, if he ever has, and it’s getting to his head.

“Let’s get in the back seat,” you say, taking him out of his trance. “Wanna feel you.”

He lets you in first, pushing across the bench seating as he slides in beside you. There’s a moment of awkwardness, before your hand reaches out to touch his denim-clad thigh. His breath hitches.

“Relax,” your smile is intoxicating to him, and he’s drinking you in. “We’re just here to have a little fun.”

He lets himself lurch forward, your lips pressed against his fervently. They’re rough and chapped, but cold from the beer he’d been nursing earlier, offering you some reprieve. 

Your hand snakes up his chest to the side of his throat, pulling him in to come closer and delve deeper. His tongue comes out to lick across your teeth and press against the soft wetness of your tongue, as his hand comes up to palm your breasts over your top, grabbing at any flesh he can get his fingers on. 

He quickly and deftly finds the bow Maddy had tied on the back, pulling it loose and letting the fabric relax so you he could pull it off of your form.

His hands began to explore the soft skin of your breasts, sucking a nipple into his mouth as you arch into him and let a strained moan come from your lips.

“Fuck,” is all you can think to say, because his large hands are spread across your back, forcing you closer, and into him. Soft moans escape your lips as you let him take what he needs from you.

“Off,” he commands suddenly, hooking his fingers into the belt loops of your jeans and yanking them down, after you pop the button and undo the zipper. Your boots have come off at some point in the tussle, and now you’re naked in the back seat of a stranger’s car with not much to say for yourself.

You push his flannel down his shoulders as his weight hovers over you, revealing how strong he really is. Rippling biceps beneath his tight shirt, strong chest, kind eyes. 

You’re lying beneath him, when his hands come up under your thighs to push them apart and expose your pussy to him. He kneels between your soft thighs, thankful for the dark night sky around him, as he delves into your heat with his warm tongue.

You see stars when he makes first contact, a broad stripe of his tongue sending you into space. He’s hungry for it, immediately suckling onto your clit and wrapping his lips around it, strong hands still pushing your thighs apart. He’s taking his time to taste you, wild and intricate, feeling the bulge in his jeans strain against the zipper.

“Oh, fuck,” you manage to get out, in between breathless moans. Your hand came down to tangle in his hair, feeling the soft locks between your fingers, enjoying the way he’s making your hips roll onto his face. You can’t help but rut against him, soaking his wet mouth with your slick, using him to get yourself off.

He’s moaning into your pussy, working his own now-free cock in one of his hands, while the other delves two fingers into your core. Your breath catches in your throat when he fills you, stretching you open and wide for him, hitting the perfect spot to make your stomach start to spasm as you threatened to unravel beneath him.

“Fuck, so good, so so good,” you laugh breathlessly, the ecstasy beginning to take over as he continued to work your pussy, and you felt the familiar white-hot feeling along the back of your thighs.

“I’m gonna, — oh my god,” you couldn’t even finish your sentence before he was tonguing at you harder, eyes flickering up to watch you. “I’m gonna fucking come.”

“Good girl,” he growls into you, only offering you momentary reprieve from his tongue before using the rest of his energy to help you ride out your orgasm on his face. Your hips bucked and spasmed against him, the windows fogging up with your hot breath as you fucked yourself on his fingers. He let you pull on his hair as moans tumbled from your lips, breathless and spent.

When you managed to come down, he took his fingers from inside you and pumped his cock a few times, now bobbing in between the two of you as he slid himself up your body to kiss up your chest and capture your soft lips into a kiss.

“Sit back,” you whispered, pushing on his chest to bring him back sitting upright. His jeans were pooled around his ankles now, and you had pulled his t-shirt over his head to meet the other clothes on the floor of the truck. You positioned yourself across his lap, pumping his cock a few times and feeling the girth around your fingers.

He looked blissed out, head against the headrest, savouring the feeling of your pretty hand around him. If he looked down between your two bodies he might come right then, at the sight. 

“You did so much work, baby,” you coo, sitting down on his thick cock and bottoming out immediately, just to watch his lips fall open and eyes flutter close at how tight you are. “Made me cum so easy.”

Your lips latch onto his neck as you kiss and lap at the rough skin, letting your hips rock back and forth, slowly at first. Getting used to his length inside of you would’ve been tough if he hadn’t opened you up so easily beforehand. 

“Move,” his hands come to your waist, lightly forcing you to grind down on his lap. His cock was hitting inside of you so perfectly as you swallowed him into your body, looking down as his head lulled back against the seat. “So fuckin’ pretty,” he started, letting you set the pace of your hips, hand coming up to paw at your breast once more.

“You like this cock, don’t you?” You nod, letting your hand come to the seat behind his head and steadying yourself before beginning to bounce in his lap. “Yeah, fuck, yeah I do.”

He’s in his element now, any and all shyness from the newness of the situation melting away as he pounded into you mercilessly. The truck was no doubt shaking back and forth a little, a steadying hand print the only window to the outside world. Joel didn’t even care if people could see, they’d just be jealous.

“I’m gonna, fuck-,” he starts, eyes cloudy at the edges, vision fuzzy as he looked up at you. You were fucked out, cock-drunk on him, watching as he was coming undone underneath you as you squeezed around him. “Oh yeah?” You tease, not letting up on the rhythm of your hips, his hand coming down to your ass in a firm slap.

You moaned then, arching your back into him and sitting back. “Where do you want me?”

He’s desperate to cum now. Even the thought of your pretty face beneath him, taking his hot ropes on your soft pink lips is making him jerk forward into you with need.

He pushes you off, and you wince from the loss of contact. He’s fisting his cock above you right away, pink tip ready to explode any second at the sight of you, tits pressed together. Your mouth is open, and he sticks his fingers in between your lips as you moan around them, tasting yourself.

“Cum all over me,” you start, pinching your nipples with your free hand. “Fuck, I want it.”

It’s enough for his knees to buckle and hot cum to shoot all over your stomach and tits, painting you white with his seed. His eyes squeeze shut as you watch him ride his orgasm out, balls emptying onto you as he slows down and regains consciousness, taking a second to drink you in when he can open his eyes again. 

Your breath is heaving as you take a finger to swipe some of his cum onto your finger, dipping the digit into your mouth. His brows furrow together as he pulls you up to kiss your lips, devouring you, hands coming up to each side of your face as if to thank you for such a good time.

“Been a while since I did anything like that,” he laughs, and you follow shyly. “You got like, a napkin?” You giggle, as he grabs something in the front seat for you to clean up with. “Thanks. That was fun.”

He nods in agreement, catching his breath before pulling his t-shirt over his head. “I suppose we should go back in there,” he checks his appearance in the rearview mirror, all blushed and fucked out. 

You put your top back on over your body, turning towards him. “Can you lace me back up, please?”

His hands begin to work at you, tightening a bow at the bottom much like it had been done before.

A thought crossed your mind that made a giggle escape your lips. “What?” Joel asked, amused, pulling his jeans back on over his hips. 

“I don’t think I ever got your name.”

He laughs too, thinking of the events that had transpired given neither of you knew such a basic piece of information. 

“I guess we can stick with cowboy.”

[bonefall]

how do surrogacies for cats in another Clan work, socially? With honor siring you don't have to stick around once the cat you're siring for is pregnant; but with surrogacies you're going through an entire pregnancy and kitting process, which your Clan will probably catch onto at some point. Do you just... go off to give birth and come back and tell your Clan "bad news they didn't make it :( they all got uhhh eaten by a hawk sry all" after dropping them off with the cats you surrogated for

The out of universe reason is simple logistics. Some parents can't give birth but they still need a visit from the stork, with how small Clan sizes are.

In-universe, it's a whole process.

MOST surrogacies are done by family, or are in-Clan. A sibling who is able to get pregnant will do so, with the expectation that their family member will take and raise the kits.

More are done on a sort of "open book" policy. Onestar and Whitetail are an example of this; One wanted kits and asked White, but didn't want to coparent. She agreed, and neither one kept it a secret.

So Whitetail is not Heathertail's MOTHER, but it is known she was the honor-sire.

Likewise though, it's within your rights to keep it secret, even within a Clan. If you asked Onestar where the kit came from, invoking Queen’s Rights would shut it down.

But you could put two and two together that Whitetail was probably pregnant and stopped being so right when Onestar became a Mi.

For the record though. Listen carefully.

not every cat who is expecting will suddenly flash like a neon sign indicating it. The whole Clan will not suddenly get a text saying "DUDEHEART IS PREGNANT." Some people just don't show. Some cats don't smell that different. It's rude to ask unprompted and even worse if you guess wrong. Like real life.

Please understand.

On the Anthro-Scale, from 100% feral cat to 100% fuzzy human, BB cat gestation is closer to the feral cat than most of their other behaviors. So this is not the same "big deal" as a human pregnancy.

In general, I write "medical" topics closer to real cats than the Erins do. I mostly take "liberties" in the portrayal of disabilities so THOSE are closer to the real humans in my audience

intelligent cats are not going to be correcting me on my incorrect portrayal of Feline Diabetes, but I could unwittingly cause harm in spreading diabetic misconceptions that real people try to clear up, y'know?

Anyway. What that means is that warriors giving birth is not the federal issue that it is for humans. It's still not TOTALLY safe, but dying in childbirth is exceptionally rare, plus being much less painful and considerably faster

"The Birthing Stick" means something is wrong.

So there's several factors at play within Clans, but Out-of-Clan surrogacies are much more interesting.

These are usually arranged at Aftergatherings. They were rarer before the move to the Lake, which now sees waaaay more cross-clan friendships.

USUALLY the Clan's Cleric will be involved, which IS technically a waiving of the Queen’s Rights. Leafpool simply doesn't interpret it that way.

A more "traditional" Cleric, like Littlecloud, will NOT be involved for personal safety and comfort reasons. This makes a bad situation but that's the reality of QR (and is a reason why Fire Alone cats think QR doesn't go far enough.)

Kits are always given to the parent before 1 moon. Fading Kits aren't socially questioned if they fade before that 1st moon. So it's pretty easy to hide it.

"All of my litter was faders" is unfortunate in the way that a car accident is unfortunate. "Shit, are you ok?" "Is StarClan trying to keep a close eye on you? Are you going to try again?" Etc.

"Frequent Flyer" surrogates, like Brightheart, often keep a single kitten from each litter to avoid the implication of "bad omens."

If they aren't Brightheart who likes raising kittens with her mate, the kitten is often given to an in-Clan parent who wanted a child.

Most surrogacies aren't "free," but it does depend on who's doing it for you.

Like all other things in BB, this looks very different between generations, and depends heavily on the "attitudes" of the Clans at the tine. But, Queen’s Rights will protect you from revealing too much. STILL, surrogacies ARE harder than sirings. Just not impossible.

[dollybeagle]

the erins screwed mothwing so much, she could have been so so much more in canon. The tiger family is huge and the potential in it is massive, yet the writers chose to focus only on brambleclaw, maybe hawkfrost too ig.

Give me Mothwing pov. Im begging you i need mothwing's pov in the new prophecy. I wanna see all of her thoughts, I wanna read about her i wanna get in her mindset. The way she views StarClan is so interesting to me. Deep down, we all know she's right- they're nothing but dead cats, and they shouldn't rely on them so much. Idc we got one or two pages abt her thoughts on them, idc at all. I want her pov please

[heartfullofleeches]

I am politely asking for you to write about Erin cross dressing please

(Going off an old request I vaguely remember with Erin overhearing you like feminine guys)

"They're so cute- Hey, Y/n what do you like in a partner?"

Erin leans back in his seat away from the commotion at his table to eavesdrop on yours. You were surrounded by friends flapping their gums over someone one of them was interested in - put on the spot for not giving your two cents.

"Uh, I don't know- someone pretty I guess."

"You mean like those people you follow who wear nice makeup and skirts?"

Your coughing fit is enough of an answer for everyone listening in on the conversation. Erin returns to his group, subconsciously groping his features. He had some softer details thanks to his mother, but was he what others would call pretty? The tingle in his chest combated the nausea from eating school food at the thought of you praising his looks. He picks up a tater tot and chucks it at a girl across the table; it being the only way to get her attention otherwise.

She picks it out of her fruit cup. "What the hell, Erin?!"

"Shut up and give me your lip gloss, Bea."

"Why in the fuck would I do that?"

"I'll tell coach you're the one who stole her flask and replaced it with bleach for giving the lead spot in the parade to someone else."

Beatrix angrily shifts through her bag. "Here."

"Thank you." He tosses her his unopened cup as he gets up from the table and heads to the bathroom. He stops by the janitor's closet and jimmies the broken lock until it pops open, grabbing the out of order sign. He wants for everyone to come out of the restroom and sets the sign up as he enters.

Erin reevaluates himself in the mirror. His long hair did confuse the older crowd when they saw him from a distance. He tucks it all into a high ponytail using a spare bracket as a band. Next, he pulls out the cheerleader's makeup. This isn't his first time with the stuff. Both his mom and older sibling dressed him up in the past whenever he asked about their clothes and was interested in trying them. He let his mother put eye shadow on him whenever they went out as a family.

Erin dispenses some of the gloss on his finger, puckering his lips as he cakes them in the foundation. He smacks them together to even the coat out and looks at the results in the mirror.

It's a start. The gloss is barely noticeable outside bright light, but it adds a little more volume to his lips. He goes back in to work on other parts of himself, but the bell cuts his session short.

"Shit!"

Erin hurries out of the bathroom and down to the cafeteria; forgetting about the sign in his haste. The dining area is nearly empty by the time he gets back, and you didn't have the next period together. He looks back to see if you've already gone, the next person to walk by bumping straight into him.

"Sorry- Oh, hey Erin."

"Sup."

You look him up and down. Erin's teeth pick at his lips in anticipation.

"Not much. You look good. See you next period."

The light force of you walking by almost knocks Erin off his feet. You said something nice about him. He didn't think he'd get this far. Maybe a passing glance, but you completely acknowledge him. You thought he looked good. It was a high he never wanted to fall from. One he craved more of with only one possible solution.

-

Erin hisses in pain as the teeth of his skirt's zipper lodge into his skin. "Fucking damn it-"

He pulls the fabric away from his hip and zips it up; kicking an empty shipping box under his bed. It sticks out of the corner due to the other packages overcrowding the space, but he was too excited to take care of them now or throughout the week they all had arrived. The skirt was the final piece of his outfit which also took the most time to arrive. Erin hooks mini pearl earrings in his ears and pulls his shirt from inside the shirt before looking at himself in the full body mirror by his closet.

The outfit consisted of an off the shoulder light pink top and a black skirt that went down to his thighs. The rest of his legs were covered by white stockings and his ginger hair was yet again pulled back. He wore a more noticeable shade of gloss on his lips and his long eyelashes were extended with the use of a wand. His regular choker was switched with a red one with a heart shaped dog tag. He had muscle, but the skirt hugged his body in a way that showed off his curves. Staring at himself, Erin felt pretty. Time for the next phase.

Erin snaps a photo of him at the mirror. He then gets in his bed with his back against the headboard. He grabs a pillow and hugs it to his chest, tugging his shirt down a bit more as he gets into position. He makes sure that his stocking clad thighs are in frame as he takes another pic and pulls up his contact. He knew your number by heart from the various acquaintances he hustled it off of and when you gave it to himself yourself for a project, but what good boyfriend doesn't have their partner in their phone without a cute title?

Erin sends you the pictures without saying a word. He waits about five minutes to pick up his phone again, both happy and disappointed you haven't opened his text.

"Sorry for the pics. Lost a bet and sent them to the wrong number."

His heart leaps out of his chest as his phone chimes.

"No worries. Hope this is okay for me to say, but you look pretty."

It's more than okay. Erin stares at his phone for ages; eyes rolling over the message countless times yet his brain fails to retain it to memory. He'd probably explode if it did. He experiences a moment of clarity in wondering what your expression was when you saw him. Did you see him as desirable. Did you crave him as badly?

Luck worked in Erin's favor that night - for he may soon have an answer.

"Hey- actually, do you want to come over? I'm bored and thought we could hang out or something."

[lucifers-nipple-piercing]

𝖈𝖔𝖓𝖋𝖊𝖘𝖘𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖆𝖑 | 𝖕𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖘𝖙!𝖑𝖊𝖛𝖎 𝖝 𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗

priest!Levi x fem!religious!reader smut

i have not been able to get this idea out of my head. will probably be two parts. sorry if it's not entirely accurate! I was raised christian but not catholic

cw: non-con/coercion, sacrilegious, Catholicism, mild age-gap, corruption, virginity kink kinda, 18+ only!!

Levi's grip on his Bible tightened as he saw you walk through the church doors, greeting Father Smith with a smile. You were dressed modestly, but your dress hung snugly around your breasts and ass. He watched the way they moved with your steps as you walked down the aisle.

Levi caught his shameful thoughts, mumbling a quick prayer for forgiveness. He opened his Bible to a random page, pretending to focus on it.

It had been like this for nearly a month. You were new to the area and had quickly become a valued member of the church. You were always there--volunteering, annotating your Bible, praying. Such dedication was rare, much more so among younger people. But you had been brought up by strict, Catholic parents. You were sheltered. The Church was all you knew.

Levi suspected you'd eventually stray from your devout loyalty as you got used to being on your own and began socializing with people other than your church friends. The young priest prayed for this day. Others might be fooled by the sweet front you put on, but he knew what you were. Temptation. Sin. The Devil.

He had been a Christian for his entire life. Enough to devote his life to Christ ten years ago. He had never had much of an interest in love and sex, so the sacrifice of a celibate's life had never bothered him. Until now.

Watching the way your pretty dresses hugged your form, the way you smiled softly when you caught his eye... everything about you made his faith waiver and his cock twitch.

"Father Ackerman?"

Levi snapped back to reality, looking up to see you smiling politely.

He cleared his throat. "Good morning, y/n."

"Good morning!" you chirped, "I picked up some wine for communion, where should I leave the bottles?"

Levi resisted the urge to glance down at your cleavage. "You can stick it in the storage closet by the organ."

"Okay! I'll go--Oh!" your gaze fixed on his feet, "Father, your shoe is untied."

Before Levi could respond, you had dropped to the floor and started tying the laces.

Levi's jaw clenched, his mind running wild with the idea of you on your knees. How badly he wished you'd just look up with those big, innocent eyes and undo his pants, wrapping your hand around his--

"There!" You looked up, smiling, then blushed. "Sorry," you stood "I hope I didn't weird you out... I wasn't really thinking..." you laughed awkwardly.

"No, it's--" Levi's voice came out gravely and he quickly coughed, "it's fine."

"Okay! Well, I should get busy. Have a good day!" You beamed, turning to carry on with your chores.

"Yeah," Levi glanced down at his pants, thankful he had chosen tight boxers today. "You too."

....

"I'll lock up."

"You sure? I really don't mind." Erin looked up from his papers.

"Yeah. You stayed late yesterday."

He chuckled. "Well... Don't have to tell me twice."

Levi watched, silent, as the man finished his work and packed up, bidding him a good night.

Left to his own, he made his way to the sanctuary. It was a beautiful building and he took a moment to appreciate the tall, stained-glass windows and ornate pillars. He stopped in front of the alter, staring up at the large window depicting the crucifixion. He slowly sunk to his knees, suddenly aware of all the holy figures staring down at him.

"Father..." Levi started, "I fear I am falling victim to temptation. Even now, as I pray, lustful thoughts of her fill my mind." He takes a few deep breaths.

"I pray that you will give me strength during this, and help me to lead the righteous path. Please Father, protect me from sin and the temptations of Lucifer."

...

Levi watched through the ornate screen as the old woman walked away. This was the fifth time she had come to ask forgiveness for watching reality TV. He still wasn't sure exactly how that was a sin, but she seemed adamant it was and his attempts to reassure her had done nothing.

He glanced at his watch in the dim light. He had less than an hour left. If he was lucky, no one else would come in. He had never enjoyed taking confessions. He had met quite a few people who enjoyed being in the know of all the church drama, but he couldn't care less.

There was an echoing click as the heavy doors of the cathedral swung open, the sound of pouring rain growing louder then fading again. The click-clack of heels on marble signaled the woman approaching the confessional box. A shadow covered the window, then a nervous voice spoke.

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned."

Levi's pulse quickened as the familiar sound of your voice broke the silence.

"My last confession was, um, a year ago. I..." There was a long pause.

Levi sat in anticipation, wondering what sins such a sweet, pure girl could have.

"I've been having sinful thoughts. I've tried to ignore them. I've been praying constantly but... last night I... I gave in."

The priest adjusted his pants, his mind running wild. "What was it you gave into?"

There was a long silence. "I um... I'm sorry... it's shameful to talk about. I touched myself," you murmured.

Levi had to hold back a groan at the thought. The sweet angel adored by the church, God's obedient little girl, splayed out on her bed as she fingered herself for the first time.

"I see..." Levi swallowed, palming himself through his slacks. "Can you elaborate so I can better understand?"

"Elaborate?" Your voice wavered.

"I must better understand your sin to offer an appropriate pension."

"Of course.... Um, well, I've had sexual urges for a while but they've been getting worse recently... I've been less resilient. Last night I was reading a novel and I got to a sex scene. I usually skip past them, I always have, but I got curious this time and I read it. It was very inappropriate; so... rough and violent but..."

"But what?"

"I liked it."

Levi gritted his teeth, partly in arousal and partly in pain from his erection. "What about it did you like?" He slowly unzipped his pants, pulling his throbbing cock out. He had masturbated before, but it had been quite some time; he had to hold back a groan as his hand wrapped around his shaft.

"I had always thought of sex as something gentle and quick. Everything I have learned has taught me it is more for than man's enjoyment than for the woman's, but that wasn't the case here at all." You paused, seeming to think for a moment, "The male character focused on the woman, he did things to pleasure her before he penetrated her."

Levi hummed in acknowledgment, eyes fluttering closed as he stroked himself to her voice.

"And when they did start having penetrative sex, he was... violent! He was choking her and hitting her and I was thinking to myself how horrible it was but I..."

"You what?"

You shifted in your seat, trying to push down the knot in your stomach. "I could feel my... I could feel a burning between my legs."

Levi slowed his strokes enough for his voice to come out even "And what did you do?"

"I put the book down and I just laid there... Imagining the scene in my head, imagining myself as the woman. Could I really enjoy something so mean and painful? I think part of me doing what I did was to see if I really was attracted to those things... I was just rubbing my thighs together at first but I was just so curious what it would feel like and I couldn't resist reaching down there and..."

"What did you do, y/n?"

You blushed, fiddling with the hem of your skirt. "I started rubbing myself and--and I found my um... my entrance and pushed my fingers in and started m-moving them."

Levi audibly groaned, furiously pumping his cock. It was taking all of his willpower not to break through the thin wooden panel and fuck you against a pew. He wondered what soft and sweet sounds you'd make as your innocence was taken from you.

The thought pushed him over the edge, and he gritted his teeth as cum shot out onto his hand and pants

"Father?"

Levi struggled to catch his breath, head still spinning from the high, "Yeah?"

"W-what's my penance?"

"What you experienced is very common. Lust is something even the Godliest of people face." He had to have you. He couldn't stand it. God be damned, he had to have you. "One of our pastors will be out of town, tomorrow. Come to church tomorrow night and help with the extra work and you will be forgiven."

part 2 coming soon :)

[altschmerzes]

THE 13 BOOKS I READ IN 2023 IN ORDER FROM BEST TO WORST + THE PROTAGONIST'S SUPERLATIVE. PART 2.

6. A Wrinkle In Time by Madeleine L'Engel. a timeless classic that i love love love. meg is such a fun protagonist and i really enjoyed experiencing this as an adult again. the whole like… helpless devastated rage she feels when she realizes that adults can't just. fix everything? that sequence will always rattle me around like a mason jar fulla beans. she's such a like… man. the way the narrative was like. this isn't fair. it isn't right. it's happening anyway. i'm so sorry, but it's happening anyway. that really got me.

Protagonist: Meg Murry. Most Likely To Have A Profound And Life Altering Impact On Adolescent Weird Girls Who Read Her Book.

7. Whiskeyjack by Victoria Goddard. third book in the series, slightly less fun than the others but only very slightly. i cannot emphasize enough how difficult it was to rank like, 2-8. had some VERY fun stuff with like…. things you learn that then go back and recontextualize everything else. ended on a scene that made me fucking sob which is always a plus in my book. themes of FAMILY and LOYALTY and SACRIFICE. my fucking beloved. yes please. the pov character continues to have a horrible little time. also love that.

Protagonist: (again, series has dual protagonists, so switching back) Peregrine Dart. Most Likely To Be The Unwitting Conduit Of The Deus Ex Machina. Deus Ex Dart.

8. One By One by Ruth Ware. just a really good classic mystery thriller. i love a mystery thriller, and ruth ware seems to always hit for me. managed to pull off a pov switch between two pov characters one of whom had a massive, MASSIVE secret without it seeming completely nonsensical once revealed or relying on the pov character talking in deliberately obtuse or evasive ways that would be really tiresome and insulting if carried through. there was a set of tech bro startup characters that were obnoxious and infuriating in exactly the way that those people are in real life, so points for that for SURE even though i did wanna throttle them.

Protagonist: Erin (Lastname). Most Deserving Of A Tropical Vacation.

9. The Ritual by Adam Nevill. this is the most brutal book i have read in recent memory. possibly at all. this guy gets put all the way through the wringer physically and emotionally and it is visceral in the way it is described. the protagonist was a profoundly unpleasant person a lot of the time but this was deliberate and really engaging, honestly. there were some moments of stark self-reflection from him about the ways in which he did not like who he was and the things he did, and when he recognized how like. unfair and cruel he was being to the others in his head. wasn't as good as the movie, imo, but the changes that they made between the book and film made total sense given the sheer level of interiority in the book. and boy howdy how much interiority. whoof.

Protagonist: Luke. Most Surprising Survival.

10. I Am Not Who You Think I Am by Eric Rickstad. i think the most damning thing that can be said about this book is that i literally can't remember almost anything about it. it was compelling in some ways and there were a few very specific moments that i was really gripped by but most of it was like. a really flat letdown. it was interesting enough as a mystery that i finished it but i don't even really remember why, now.

Protagonist: Wayland Maynard. Most Forgettable Guy.

11. The Darkest Minds by Alexandra Bracken. just. ugh. dystopia ya in a bad way. too complicated and not well established. dumbass colour coding system. it could've been so fun, i love traumatized teenagers with powers and an evil government in all sincerity but this just did not do anything good with it. it looked like it COULD have but it DIDN'T. the love interest character was a DICK. there was some weird gender takes that popped out of nowhere. jump-scared by gender. did enjoy watching the movie though because it was fucking insane and gave me a scene where the protagonist and the love interest shared a passionate embrace over what fully appeared to be the dead body of the love interest's theoretical best friend. amazing. no notes.

Protagonist: Ruby Daly. Most Likely To One Day Decide She's Tired Of Being Nice And She Does Want To Go Apeshit Actually.

12. Reputation by Sarah Vaughan. [VIDEODROME PRESCREEN AUDIENCE REVIEW WHERE THEY JSUT WROTE 'SUCKED' AND GOT SO UPSET ABOUT HOW BAD IT WAS THEY MARKED THE WRONG GENDER] this book was BAD. the writing was bad. the characters were bad and not on purpose. the politics of the book were uh. whoof. what if white girlboss feminism was a novel. points for some of the hardest i've laughed tho at Nice Dick Mike the journalist that the protagonist cannot respect after she sleeps with him and Lady Cop With Bangs, the traitor to womanhood.

Protagonist: Emma Webster. Most Likely To Submit An Extremely Long Post To Reddit Dot Com Slash Am I The Asshole That Leaves Out A Lot Of Like, Extremely Critical Information That When Uncovered All Makes Her Look Really Fucking Bad While She Seems To Still Think It Was Entirely Irrelevant And Honestly Unfair To Even Consider. Gd Forbid Women Do Anything.

UNCATEGORIZED: 21st Century Jocks: Sporting Men And Contemporary Heterosexuality by Eric Anderson. there was simply no way to rank this among the others, it was too completely different. they were all very different books but this was just. entirely different. had a wonderful time with it though!! gave me a lot to think about as someone who thinks a lot

thank you for joining me on this journey. i loved reading books again this year and would wholeheartedly recommend anything ranked 1-9 on this list, provided you like the genre/vibe.

[your-old-sins-tournament]

12 YEAR OLD OCS; SIDE B

Pink [@somebodytolove31] (she/her or he/him)

Okey so basically I created her for a superhero school roleplay I had with friends, her tragic backstory is that her father is a deadbeat but is also a hero, he got Pink's mom pregnant and then told her if she ever approached him he would kill her. Pink had a nice life with her single mom until the mom got sick and decided to go to Hero, thinking maybe he would have a bit of compassion, needless to say he didn't and followed through his promise. Pink saw all of this and now it's her life's purpose to kill him, even if it kills her.

I recently refound the roleplay and decided to develop the character on her own, I may have changed the setting and her gender and other shit, but I've decided to not touch her backstory or her character arc where she starts making friends and realizes there's a lot more to life than just revenge (she still gets his dad arrested, but that's a long story)

Oh yeah did I mention she can turn into a wolf? She can turn into a wolf

Anyway please vote for her

Erin [@silveredcircuitry] (she/her)

Snarky and ridiculously overpowered illusionist who got captured by an evil organization for an unclear reason and by means that didn't make much sense because they required her powers not work on the people capturing her. That doesn't matter though because the entirety of the plot I actually figured out was just an excuse for her to cause problems and fuck with people psychologically.

Had a thing with making finger guns that would shoot out illusory (but still pretty painful) bullets and smoke. She is part of me wanting to draw finger guns so badly that I actually learned bits and pieces of how to draw hands.

Her sense of fashion was just an amalgamation of a bunch of things I found neat but also easy to draw at the time, including a bandanna around her neck and a bag shaped like a lime slice (some kind of citrus anyway). I didn't even have especially interesting taste in my current opinion. I did not draw her in evil government prison but my mental image of her is only in her street clothes and i think my idea of it was she just got dumped in a cell in whatever she was wearing when they kidnapped her lmao.

I'm genuinely a little tempted to redesign her as a character in a superhero or "one weird power per person" setting, with the finger gun gimmick as a necessary thing for targeting. And also push her fashion sense a bit further.

Anyway if nothing else you gotta give her props for having a fingergun motif and not being like. a pyromancer or anything that could make her physically do that. And also the mind games and teaching me how to draw hands :)

[everybody-loves-purdy]

How did you feel about NightSun in Wind? I honestly was surprised to say they’ve grown on me. I LOVED whistlepaw and frostpaw’s little moment and how the authors have acknowledged their chemistry and tight bond. I wish they would take the leap and make them canon…

Also, do you think there will be a battle? I hope Leafstar finally dies so we can get a new Skyclan leader… who do you think will end up being Riverclan’s leader? Either Frostpaw or Icewing or a reformed Berryheart??? I have a feeling Berryheart will either die killing Splashtail or in the battle otherwise as a last ditch needletail-type redemption.

NightSun has grown on me so much, I hated it at first. But now I genuinely think they’re very healthy at the point they’ve gotten to and probably one of the most realistic warriors couples, especially with how messy them getting together was and how Sunbeam initially decided to give it a shot because she got turned down by Blazefire.

Erins please make Frostwhistle canon, it’s what the people want, wings of fire hasn’t crashed and burned financially for having gay couples so I’m sure warrior cats will be fine if that’s your concern. Anyway, given how many LGBTQ people are warriors fans it would probably be beneficial for sales in many ways.

I really hope there will be a battle, but at this point I think it’s probably 50/50 whether we get a full battle or not. Depends on how much control Splashtail retains over RiverClan. I hope he launches and attack on ShadowClan at minimum.

I still want it to be Frostpaw as RiverClan’s leader, I’m team Froststar all the way. Obviously we have the obvious other candidates of Icewing and Duskfur, but both have been specifically noted as old and on the verge of retirement by the narrative, I don’t want another old clan leader. Not to mention how many of Icewing’s clanmates begun to turn against her due to her co-operation with ShadowClan, I’m not sure how well her being leader would go down. I want Froststar to happen and I think either of them would make an excellent deputy to her, someone with a lot of experience to help guide her. Berryheart is an interesting choice but one I doubt that will be accepted by RiverClan, or even Berryheart herself given how pro ShadowClan she is. I can’t help but think she and Splashtail have a plan in which they invade ShadowClan, forcefully depose Tigerstar, and then have RiverClan do what ShadowClan did to them, and instate Berryheart as leader (obviously leaving once the clan accept her as such). She’s just so pro ShadowClan I can’t see her being the deputy unless it was to ultimately end up back in ShadowClan. Be funny if she gets RiverClan leadership by accident though. I hope her arc ends with her killing Splashtail, if she doesn’t die I can see her putting herself in a self imposed exile, realising the damage she has done and feeling an overwhelming guilt due to it.

[the-owl-tree]

PLEASE tear into moth flight's vision i am so interested in hearing ur thoughts about it

look at the time the fandom hyped up dotc so hard i got my hopes up and i vehemently hate this arc because of it. it is a hotbed of misogyny, ableism, shitty characters who are never portrayed to be wrong, abuse apologia, fatphobia, and did i mention the misogyny? like wow. they fucking hate women in this arc.

and i'll be honest when i went i first read moth flight's vision, i was already going in with a negative view because i hated dotc so fucking much...and i hated it! I ended up rereading it waaaaayy later and hated it AGAIN i have no clue why people put this arc or era on such a pedestal it sucked ass so bad. i want a written apology and financial compensation from the erins after i read it.

i know im being like a little dramatic but listen to me. i need everyone to hate this arc as much as i do.

Moth Flight's super edition is a mess of ideas, half-baked executions, and honestly...just bad? It doesn't convince the reader why a cat would be pushed to do this. Everything that goes wrong is because a) Moth Flight doesn't ask for help and b) Skystar, despite being redeemed, is a continuous antagonist that fucks over anyone for the sake of the plot.

The book is so afraid of having to deal with an actual redemption that Skystar is allowed to be the reason why Micah and Tiny Branch are killed yet the narrative refuses to foist any responsibility onto him. He's not allowed to be a villain, he's just there to service the plot then walk away scot free. Why? Why am I reading this??? What is the point of 6 books of this guy being an arrogant bloody dick with a half-baked redemption only for him to saunter out to cause problems with the books need it and don't even bother with sticking to him being an antagonist?! Anytime he's on screen I'm begging for someone to kill his ass already, I don't understand why the narratives tries to also push the blame on Moth Flight.

....speaking of her, her entire conflict doesn't work. Look, the idea of an individual problem leading to an entire societal wide change that cause more problems than it solves is interesting but the book doesn't sell it! The Clans are communal, she has tons of options in asking for help. The narrative is constantly patting my back saying see? see? she can't do it therefore it makes sense why she thinks no one can do it. It's an entire book of "how can a WOMAN raise her CHILDREN without her MAN" and the answer it gives us is: she can't :'( and by the end of the book i feel like i've been spit at. There's an overwhelming sense of disdain towards parents who ask for help (how Moth Flight treats Slate is cruel) and all of it is presented as in the right because the entire thesis is that despite living in a literal communal society where there's an entire rank dedicated to looking after children, single parents (read: mothers) are unable to look after children without a partner (read: the husband).

There's nothing wrong with a law being cruel or unfair, it actually adds to the story! It makes things interesting! But her entire story doesn't sell me on why the law was made, it makes me think more and more that the erins are really fucking weird about women (which has been made even more clear by that shitty kits & queens article no i will not let that go). But Moth Flight's conflict sucks ass, I don't buy it, and I feel I'm being shown one thing and told another.

I especially don't get why they didn't go with the obvious reason of having it be for superstitious/religious reasons (this shit is already so catholic, just go even further into the nun thing). Like, okay, here's my pitch of the law: kittens of medics are thought to be more at risk of curses/sickness/etc. Having it so Moth Flight's children share the same fate as other characters who are born to Medics: doomed to a life of suffering or go onto a path of destruction.

It wouldn't be true of course, the reason these children go off the rails is because the Clans expect them to but it would still be interesting!!

and that is my rant on this shitty super edition, thank you for asking :D

[idkyetxoxo]

One | Vagabond | The Last Kingdom

"Are you a whore?" 

"Watch your mouth you jerk,"

─── ✦⋅ ☆⋅✦ ───

"Shots!" Annabelle's cheer resonated as the tray of intoxicating elixirs made its way to our crowded booth. Amid our collective drunkness, the relentless flow of drinks showed no signs of stopping.

Each of us eagerly seized a shot glass, joyously proclaiming "cheers" before succumbing to the bittersweet embrace of the liquid fire. I roughly placed my glass down, surveying the scene unfolding around me. "I love you all so much this is the best birthday ever," I professed loudly, slightly stumbling over my words because of the alcohol-induced haze that had enveloped me several drinks ago. 

"Let's dance!" Erin enthusiastically proposed, seizing the nearest individuals as we stumbled towards the dance floor. I latched onto my boyfriend's neck, coaxing him to join. Though slightly more composed than the rest of us, he was far from being completely coherent.

Pulling him close, we swayed in harmony with the music. "I'll go grab more drinks for us," he slurred before departing for the bar. I nodded in agreement, losing myself in the euphoria of the celebration.

As the night unfolded, it became a kaleidoscope of additional drinks, uninhibited dancing, and eventually, my recollection succumbed to the haze of intoxication. 

The remainder of the evening blurred into fragmented memories.

── ✦⋅ ☆⋅✦ ──

My eyelids reluctantly parted, greeted by the harsh embrace of the sun glaring directly into them. The ache reverberated through my entire body, and as my surroundings gradually came into focus, the realization struck me, I was outdoors. A swift survey disclosed a woodland setting, leaving me disoriented in the midst of nature's embrace.

"Hello" my call echoed, but the only response was a resounding silence. My hands fumbled in search of my phone, only to discover its absence. "Atlas" I shouted, hoping to find the presence of my boyfriend.

In scrutinizing my attire, I was taken aback I was still wearing the very short and tight gold sparkly dress with matching heels. "Where am I?" I mumbled to myself, scanning the unfamiliar surroundings.

The rhythmic trotting of horses drew my attention as a man and woman approached, they were wearing old-fashioned clothing and both had interesting hairstyles as if plucked from a past era.

"Who are you?" the man inquired, and relief washed over me as he spoke in English. "Y/n," I replied, sensing his intense gaze scrutinizing my body and face, leaving me slightly uncomfortable.

"Are you a whore?" he blurted out, leaving me utterly taken aback. "Watch your mouth, you jerk," I retorted, adjusting my dress subconsciously. The woman chastised him with a disapproving tut, and he nonchalantly shrugged.

"Can I borrow your phone please I think I lost mine?" I asked as politely as I could and they both looked at me like I had asked for their firstborn child. "No," the man said slowly and I frowned, he surely seemed like a little ray of sunshine.

"Where are we?" I queried as frustration began to set in, and the woman answered, "Wessex" with a smile. 

Confusion clouded my mind, as my last recollection placed me in a dark London club surrounded by intoxicated people. "You're not from around here," she added, pointing out the obvious and I resisted the urge to shoot her a mocking smile.

Attempting to clarify, she explained, "You are from the future." 

This time I didn't hold back my laugh at her ridiculous statement. I asked mockingly, "So what you guys from the Stone Age or something?" Their blank stares towards me suggested they struggled to comprehend the notion and my face contorted into worry towards their seriousness.

"You're from a different period of time," she stated, brushing off my previous question. 

I attempted to make sense of the situation by asking about the current era and their ignorance seemed to mirror my own. I groaned realising my lack of knowledge on the subject of history and their lack of knowledge on the future wasn't helping either of us. 

"Is this a joke?" I questioned, narrowing my eyes at them. The woman shook her head while the man sighed in frustration.

Frustrated myself, I probed about the current monarch, only to receive a grunt and an annoyed look.

"Who leads here?" I simplified hoping it was more understandable, and the response I received was "King Alfred," sending a shiver down my spine as a lump formed in my throat.

"Like Alfred the Great, the first King of the English?" I choked out, barely comprehending the improbable truth of being catapulted into medieval times.

"I'm going to be sick," I declared, the urgency in my voice palpable as I staggered towards a nearby tree. Leaning against the rough bark, I doubled over, my body convulsing with waves of nausea. 

The acidic taste lingered in my mouth, mingling with the scent of the earth around me, as I struggled to regain my composure amidst the overwhelming sickness and thoughts swirling around my mind.

The woman finally dismounted her horse, followed shortly by the man. She walked over to me and offered a flask of water, which I hesitantly accepted.

"I want to go back," I said looking at her pleadingly like she could somehow catapult me back. "I'm afraid that is not a possibility" she frowned softly. 

Tears welled up in my eyes as I yearned to reunite with my friends, hoping this was all some kind of cruel and weirdly realistic nightmare. "I want to see Atlas and Annabelle and Erin and all my friends" I bubbled out pushing away from the woman. 

"Your path lies here now there is no return," she explained plainly, and I harshly wiped away the tears that had managed to escape.

"Don't be stupid, I don't know anyone or anything here" I admitted "I have no knowledge of this stuff" I breathed out and she took a step towards me gently placing a hand on my shoulder in an attempt to comfort me. "Do not worry Uhtred will guide you, he will be your protector." 

The man visibly reluctant, voiced his objections very vocally, I assumed he was the Uhtred she spoke of. 

"I will do no such thing" he said and the woman shook her head "It is your destiny" she said simply and Uhtred sighed heavily wiping his hand over his forehead in disbelief, the word 'destiny' seemed to sway him.

"Come with us, my name is Iseult," she offered, and weighing the risks, I reluctantly followed. 

My options boiled down to a precarious balance, either wander aimlessly, risking an encounter with someone who might not be as understanding, or defy the basic principle of stranger danger and follow after the enigmatic couple who contradicted each other.

Iseult shrugged off her cloak handing it to me "Wear this, the place we're heading to will not be welcoming to a woman dressed like that" she said and I suddenly felt extremely self-conscious in my dress.

I pulled the cloak over my body quickly and Uhtred looked down at my shoes "Why do you have weapons on your feet?" he asked and I lifted one of my legs looking at the heels "These aren't weapons they are heels" I explained. 

For a man who seemed so sure of himself and exuded arrogance, he was quite silly.

"Take them off and leave them here," he said getting onto his horse with ease "I'm not leaving these here they're Versace!" I protested, but he paid no heed. 

Tears welled up again as I hid the precious heels in a set of bushes, reminiscing about the joyful moment they were gifted to me by my boyfriend.

Barefoot, I questioned the absurdity of going unnoticed without shoes and the only response I received was a laugh from the man, he was really beginning to annoy me.

Iseult cautioned against revealing my origins explaining it may not be the wisest decision, and Uhtred simply commanded me not to speak at all. I frowned wrapping the cloak tighter against my body not liking this one bit.

I attempted to get onto his horse once I realised that was our mode of transport and struggled in the process. Uhtred sighed before effortlessly lifting me onto his horse a little harshly, I yelped as he manhandled me swatting his arm firmly as he ignored me rolling his eyes.

The journey through the forest began in silence, leaving me grappling with the unfathomable reality of what was happening.

"Do not speak" Uhtred repeated as the horses took off and I had to stop myself from smacking him across the face.

─── ✦⋅ ☆⋅✦ ───

I'M SO EXCITED FOR THIS STORY 🤭🤭

[warmaidensrevenge]

Is it hot in here or is it just me?

Pairings: Steddie x Fem!plus size reader

If you are interested in my previous work or to catch up on a fic, click HERE.

A/N: Why hello babes. I know it's been months since I posted for this fic. But I was recently inspired to write for this. I was stuck for a long time. However, I think I found a little something. To those of you who haven't read this, please feel free to click on the link above to catch up. As always, thanks for reading. Feel free to comment that you love it or if you want to say you hated it. No pressure. Kay love ya byyyyyeeee.

I don't give permission for my work to be posted anywhere else. Please respect all creators. Also, all pictures used were taken from Google. I only made the collage with them.

Word count: 8,000 + (ope...long one.)

Warnings: 18+ No Minors please. Heavy smut, Graphic depiction of sexual situations, smut, anal, rough partner, language, angst and not proof read. If this is hard to read because of grammatical errors I sincerely apologize.

Summary: You want it all. But do both of your guys want it too?

Part 6

"Shit shit shit." You said to yourself as you ran from the kitchen to your room.

Steve was just about to get up when he saw your worried look.

" Sweetheart? What's going on?"

" I umm…uhhh…Erin's coming. I forgot she was coming over here today."

" Oh! Umm should we go?" Steve asked. Shaking Eddie awake.

Eddie grunted. " Ugh! It's too early Harrington."

You hurried and put on some jeans and a nice shirt. " No. I'm sure Erin's gonna want you to come."

That's when Eddie shot up. " What?! Your sister is coming?"

You gave him a thin lip smile. " Yeah babe. It's her birthday."

Steve got up and got dressed too.

" Uhh so what should I do?" Eddie asked.

You and Steve looked at each other. Was this really how this relationship was gonna be? Were you always gonna have to hide that you and Eddie were together too?

You shook your head. No.

" Eddie." You said going to him. " Babe get ready. You're coming with us."

He and Steve said 'what?' at the same time.

You quickly glanced at Steve then sat with Eddie.

" Babe. You're my boyfriend too. It's time you met Erin."

Eddie gave you a worried look then looked at Steve for approval.

" Sweetheart, are you sure? What if she shuns you or something?"

You didn't look at Steve but answer him.

" Hun, Eddie is an important part of this relationship." You cupped Eddie's beautiful face. " Please get ready Eddie spaghetti. I need you today."

Eddie nodded knowing fully well that he would never tell you no.

You smiled at him and gave him a quick kiss before going to answer the door.

Eddie got up and went to the dresser. Pulling out a fresh pair of boxers.

" Munson, I know you're freaking out but this is what she wants."

" I-I know. And I'm really happy she wants to." He said, pulling a shirt over his head. " I just don't want her to lose her family over it. You know how important they are to her. And you know how people are."

Steve patted him on the back. " Whatever happens man. We never let her forget that we're her family too."

Eddie nodded and tried to smile.

"Hurry up. And come join us."

Eddie watched Steve leave and heard him greet your sister. Steve was always so good with people. Everyone liked him. He was a sun amongst planets. While Eddie was a speck of dust that everyone wanted to get rid of. As long as he could remember, he felt like that. No matter who he was with. He always felt like he was a bench warmer. That was until you. You made him feel seen. Feel wanted and adored. So he had to do this. You did so much for him. Made him feel so good. He could do this little thing for you.

For you Angel.

-

"Thank you Steve. I'm so happy you're here. Now you can join us for lunch."

Steve smiled at Erin. " I would love to come. As long as I'm buying."

Erin giggled. " Well who can say no to free food?"

" Well it's your birthday. Pretty ladies shouldn't pay for a damn thing on their birthday." Steve said, putting an arm around your shoulders. Giving you a kiss on your hair.

" Oh Steve. You better stop. Or you'll become my second husband." Erin joked.

You narrowed your eyes at her and huffed. " Over my dead body." 

Erin and Steve laughed. With Steve kissed your head again.

" So are we ready?" Erin asked.

You looked over Steve's shoulder to your bedroom door. " Umm just a second."

Steve and Erin watched as you went to the room.

" Babe?"

Eddie was sitting on the bed with his leg bouncing. You went to him and put your hand on his knee. He immediately felt calmer. 

" I'm sorry…I'm a little nervous."

You smiled sweetly at him. " That's okay. I'm nervous too. But I don't want to hide us. I want all the important people in my life to know we love each other too."

Eddie looked at you and touched your face with the back of his hand.

" No more hiding. Okay?"

He nodded and gave you a beautiful kiss. Meeting your forehead with his after. He whispered 'I love you' and stood up, holding his hand out for you.

You took a deep breath and took it. Leading him out.

You stood next to Steve holding his and Eddie's hand. " Erin. I want you to meet Eddie Munson…my Boyfriend."

Erin's eyes went wide.

Eddie held out his free hand. " It's uhh nice to meet you."

" Y-yeah." Erin stammered. " Erm Eddie is it?" She asked, shaking his hand.

Eddie smiled and nodded.

Erin looked back and forth between Eddie and Steve. " So this is…you guys are…"

" Yes. All three of us are together." You answered her unfinished questions. 

Eddie let go of your hand and wrapped his arm around your waist. Steve put his arm around your shoulder again.

" Huh. How does that work?" Erin asked with honest curiosity.

You were quiet. But Steve took your silence as his que. 

" Well umm we do normal stuff. Like what couples do. Just we do them with Munson too."

Erin nodded. " And how old are you Eddie?"

You looked over to him and he was staring at you with big round baby cow eyes. He was probably feeling the same way you were feeling. The conversation wasn't bad. It was actually going very well.

" I'm 20."

You smiled at him when he booped your nose.

Erin continued her interrogation. " And do you go to school too or do you work?" 

You tucked his hair behind his ears as he answered. 

" Both. I work at an auto shop."

" Really?" Erin sounded surprised.

Eddie finally broke the stare off to look towards Erin. " Yup."

" Cool. So my cars making this funny noise and-"

" Erin! No. Please don't-"

Eddie pulled at your chin to look at him. " It's okay pretty girl. Let me help."

Eddie took your breath away when he gave you those big eyes. 

You nodded. " Okay. But let's do it fast. I'm starving."

… 

The guys were perfect gentlemen. All afternoon they were absolutely amazing. From opening doors to paying for lunch. Honestly they were the best boyfriends anyone could have. And they were all yours. 

But today Eddie went above and beyond. He was chatting up a storm with Erin. While you and Steve just sat there enjoying the company. After lunch you guys took Erin to an ice cream shop and Eddie was putting on a performance. Doing a monologue from Star Wars. Making Erin laugh. Every now and again Eddie would look at you and just smile. With a thumbs up. You were so happy that Erin and him were getting along.

When it was finally time for Erin to leave she asked if you could walk her to her car. While the boys went to the apartment. 

" So…umm well this will be a birthday I never forget." She said.

You smiled.  " I hope that's a good thing."

She chuckled. " Yeah. I like them. Eddie is really a character."

You laughed to yourself. " Yeah he is."

There was this brief second of silence as you stopped to give her a hug. 

" Y/n. So I get that having two guys is fun and all… but there's gonna be a day that you're gonna have a choice to make."

You pulled back a little. " What do you mean?"

She sighed and let you go. " I like Steve. He's good for you. He has a bright future ahead of him, like you do."

" But?"

She took a step back and pulled out her keys. " But I have never seen anyone look at anyone the way Eddie looks at you…I can't really put my finger on it, but there's something bone deep with him. Like he would burn this world down for you. Like he worships the ground you walk on or something."

A little confused you took a sharp breath in to say something. But she stopped you before you could.

" Just listen. Zeke won't like this. You dating two guys. And I know he won't approve of Eddie…when it comes time to choose one. Go with your heart. And whoever you choose. I got your back."

" What-what if I choose both?"

She sighed again. " Y/n it's not going to work. Sooner or later one is going to get jealous over the other. And that's not going to be pretty…a friendship is going to be ruined and you'll be left with a broken heart. To be honest, I think the sooner you choose the less amount of hurt it will be."

At first you thought that she was wrong. That the relationship you had could work. But then you thought of the future. Getting a job in the field you were going to school for. Getting married and having kids. Sure you were still young, but you were always mature for your age. And you had a timeline in which you wanted things to happen by. But now being in this three way relationship kinda threw you. How was marriage and children going to factor into this? You could only marry one. And you never thought about how you would explain to your kids who their fathers were. This was also something you never talked about with your guys. And that was definitely a conversation you needed to have.

You gave Erin one last hug before she got in her car. Once she turned on her vehicle she rolled down the window.

" Y/n. Just so you know. If a guy looked at me the way Eddie looks at you…I would pick him."

You bent over to meet her gaze. " Jessie doesn't look at you like that?"

She scoffed. " Not since we were in highschool. But it's okay. Because, I know he still has it in him. It's just he forgot that I'm still that girl for him…and tonight I'm going to remind him."

You chuckled. " Eww."

" No offense to Steve. Like I said, he's a good guy. And clearly he is infatuated with you. I just feel like there's something missing."

You nodded and waved her goodbye.

While you watched her drive away you got in your head about it. Would you really have to choose? You were in love with both of them. But their friendship was more important than the relationship. You couldn't destroy that. Erin was right. You and Eddie had this raw connection, that kinda just happened the night you met. And though Steve said he was over Nancy. For you it felt like you weren't on the same wavelength. Could it work out? Could you keep both? Or did you have to give them up? Because you rather give them both up than to be the one that ruins their friendship.

It was a lot to process. And all you wanted to do was be in their arms. So you decide to get deeper with Steve. You had to. Because the thought of being without either one made your heart sink.

…

Over the next few weeks the guys had been planning a special birthday surprise for you. Spooky season was without a doubt your favorite season. Not only because your birthday was in October. But because fall was the absolute best. The baggie sweater weather was perfect to hide your body. The different shades of oranges and reds were stunning. Hot cinnamon tea with a little bit of french vanilla creamer was your go to drink for especially cold days. But what you love the most about October was the first snowfall. It happened every year for as long as you could remember. And though it never sticks, it was always so gorgeous. 

However, this year was going to be much different. Now with Steve and Eddie being the loves you never knew you needed. Ever since Erin's birthday you tried your darndest to get into Steve's mind. He constantly told you how beautiful you were and how much he loved you. But Erin was right. There was something blocking him from opening up. 

You spent the last few days with just him. And though Eddie missed you like crazy. He understood what you needed to do. So the night before your birthday Steve wanted to do something just for you two. 

He picked you up and took you out to dinner. After he took you to the drive-in. The same one from the first date. Only this time it was empty and you guys had to sneak in. 

Steve led you to the benches that faced the screen. He had a small lantern leading the way. When you finally got to the spot, you saw that he had set up a makeshift bed. He had a small styrofoam cooler with drinks and snacks. You sat down while Steve disappeared for a second. Next thing you knew you saw the opening credits to a movie. Steve came back and sat with you.

" Henderson set this all up for us."

You smiled. " Aww that's sweet of him."

You both exchanged smiles then Steve grabbed a blanket and wrapped himself and you up. 

As the movie played you snuggled closer. Steve had picked the movie A Room With A View. It was a romantic movie that had the main character face a decision. Which wasn't too far from what was going on with you. 

It was hard to watch when you wanted to tell Steve what Erin said. But he was being so sweet and so lovey dovey right now, that you didn't want to ruin this beautiful date. 

Steve's watch went off. 

" It's officially your birthday sweetheart." He said giving you a long beautiful kiss after. " Happy birthday baby girl."

You hummed against his lips." Thank you hun."

" I have something for you."

You smiled and watch him pull out a small white box with a pretty pink bow. When you opened it, your mouth dropped.

It was a stunning gold necklace with a heart shaped pendant on the end. The glimmering tourmaline in the middle of the heart made your smile bigger. 

" Thank you. It's gorgeous."

" Here baby. Let me help you put it on."

You handed over the necklace and leaned forward for him to put it on. Lifting your hair in the process. You smiled down on the pendent and looked back at Steve. There was this distant look beyond his smile. One you hadn't seen before. It worried you. For a second you thought that he was going to say something awful. But he didn't.

" Sweetheart, I umm I know what you told Eddie. And I need you to know how sorry I am for adding more stress on you. But baby I need you to know that I do want all of us to be together. Sweetheart, you still make me so nervous. I swear that every time I'm with you I feel like I'm gonna say the wrong thing or scare you away. I worry about you and you're constantly on my mind. When I'm not with you I'm wishing I was. Seeing you always makes my day better. Hearing you laugh with that little squeak makes me so happy. You make it worth getting up in the morning. Well you and coffee."

You laughed and moved his hair away from his eyes.

" But seriously, I was always afraid to admit how I really felt. And maybe that was the reason Nancy and I didn't work out. But I'm glad it didn't. Because I found you. And I'm not gonna hold back. Not with you... Sweetheart you give me so much just being yourself. And I want to give you the world. Because that's what you deserve. I would do anything for you…I love you. And you will never have to choose between Eddie or me. Because we want this forever. A lifetime of you, me, and Munson."

You were stunned. With pretty much everything. The date, the necklace. But Steve's words meant so much more than any of it. For the first time this started, you never felt so loved and appreciated. All you could do was kiss him. One thing led to another and your bare body was being covered in kisses. Beautiful soft lips pressing tender kisses across your chest. Down to your tummy and between your thighs. Feeling Steve's mouth between your legs drove you insane. He was just so good at it. He knew exactly when to put his fingers in you. He knew exactly how fast or slow you wanted it. How hard and everything. Right now he was being kind. Slowly and gentle pumping into you while sucking on your swollen nub.

He was cursing under his breath while you turned into a moaning mess of a puddle. 

" D-daddy?"

Steve groaned. "Mmm. Yes baby girl." 

" Please. I need you in me. I need to feel you."

He pulled away, giving you two little kisses on either side of your thighs. He then grabbed one of your legs and turned you on your side. 

"Keep your bottom leg straight sweetheart." 

You nodded and he moved your top leg to a bend. His cock made you see stars. Everytime you were with him it felt like he was rearranging your insides. In the best way of course. But this position brought tears to your eyes. Every delicious thrust hit a soft spot deep in you that you couldn't contain your cries.

Steve wanted you so cock drunk that you wouldn't even remember how to talk. So he did some research in a little book called Kama sutra. And this particular position was perfect. He had a hand full of ass, pounding into your tight wet pussy. But the best part was still seeing the faces you were making. A mixture of pain and pleasure. Eyes screwed shut, with tears falling from the corners. Your cries and whimpers echoed out. The snapping of his hips into your bottom was fucking music. 

Your pussy clenched. Hugging Steve's thick long cock.

" That's it sweetheart…that's it…cum for daddy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cum for me baby."

Your core shook as your release covered him. But he didn't stop. He let go of your ass and moved your leg so that they were on either side of him. He hunch over you, putting an arm under your lower back and lifting you up a bit. 

" What are we at baby girl?"

"Y-yellow." You whimpered.

Steve nodded and slowly pushed himself in you.

" Can you give me one more? Just one more."

You didn't say anything. You were trying to concentrate. 

" Common baby. Please. I need one more. Just one more."

You bit your bottom lip and said a small 'one more'.

Steve grabbed the side of your neck and pulled you up a little to kiss you.

" That's it. That's my sweet girl." He cooed.

He thrusted harder and deeper. But stopped when he felt the spot that made you gasp.

" N-no. Please-please don't stop. " You begged. 

" I…baby-" he choked out as he started moving again. " I love you. God I love you so much… I want everything with you."

You looked deep into his pretty brown eyes as your body jolted upwards. " E-everything?"

Steve nodded. " Everything. House, babies, marriage…everything."

Your eyes rolled back. His confession aided in one of the best orgasms you ever had. 

"B-baby I'm-"

He came right along with you. When both of you caught your breath he laid down on top of you and kissed all over your chest and neck. Saying 'I love yous' between each and every one. After he rested his head in the crook of your neck while you caressed his back. 

" Did…did you mean what you said?"

He lifted his head and started stroking your hair while he grinned. " Yeah…I know all of us are still young. But…when you know. You know."

You smiled up at him. " Does Eddie feel the same?"

Steve's grin faded. " I…I think so. Never talked to him about that before."

You smiled. Eddie and Steve would be the best dads and partners. They treated you like a queen. So they were bound to treat any children you guys had like princesses and princes. 

" What're you thinking about sweetheart?"

"Just...you and Eddie. You both make me so happy."

Steve kissed you deeply and met your forehead with his after. " Just returning the favor baby girl."

...

Right after the date, Steve drove you guys to his parents cabin. Where Eddie was getting ready for your arrival. You were so tired that you almost fell asleep on the short drive. But as soon as Steve parked Eddie ran outside and opened your door. You smiled up at him as he leaned in and kissed you. 

" Mmmm. Happy birthday pretty girl."

You yawned a little. " Thank you Eddie spaghetti."

He helped you out of the car as Steve got the bags. Eddie then led you inside and you looked around. There were streamers and balloons everywhere. With a huge hand painted sign just above the TV. 

" Oh Eddie. It's beautiful." You grinned, hugging him tightly. 

" You're beautiful Angel." 

Steve cleared his throat. " Munson, let's get our girl to bed. She's tired."

Eddie frowned but agreed. He took your hand and led you to the master bedroom. He helped you out of your clothes and stared at the necklace. A part of him wished he could have gotten you something that pretty. But with the shop cutting back his hours, he barely could afford rent.

Steve had offered to help him out. But he wanted to do things on his own. So since he was low on funds he wrote a little tune just for you. He also had Robin help him make a cake. Then he and Dustin decorated it. 

All his gifts would have to wait until you woke up. He hoped that you wouldn't be upset with him for not getting you something like Steve's gift. 

You took off your bra and pulled on the shirt Eddie held over your head. Steve came over and held out your toothbrush. You smiled sleepily at him and he pointed towards the bathroom.

Once you closed the door Eddie sighed. " Why did you guys come so late?"

" Sorry man. Kinda got carried away." 

Eddie shook his head and changed into his pajamas. Steve pulled off his shirt revealing scratch marks on his back and hickeys on his chest.

Eddie chuckled. He liked when you marked him and Steve up. Claiming them as yours. He wondered when he could get his. You didn't do it often. But when you did, he and Steve absolutely loved it.

You came back out with your eyes barely open. Steve pulled back the blankets and called out to you. You smiled and went to him. He gave you a hug and a kiss on the forehead. 

" Common baby girl."

You crawled into bed with Steve and Eddie following right behind you. You turned to your side and snuggled with Steve while Eddie spooned you. 

The guys said goodnight to each other and Eddie kissed your shoulder. 

" Goodnight pretty girl."

You sighed a little in response. 

…

You woke up in the very early hours, thirsty and hungry. Your boys had you sandwich between them. So moving out of their arms without waking them took forever. But as soon as your feet hit the floor you quickly tiptoed out of the room. Before you went to get something to drink you looked around a bit. Trying to get your bearings. You found a second bathroom and went pee. Your vagina was a little sore, but other than that you were feeling really good. 

You went to the kitchen after and poured yourself a cup of tap water and started searching the cabinets for snacks. For some reason you were craving something sweet. 

Hmmm fruit maybe?

You went to the fridge and looked for something. You ended up finding some blueberries and a can of whipped cream. When you pulled them out and closed the door, Eddie was standing there. Making you gasp.

" EDDIE!?" You said in a very loud whisper.

He groaned. "I woke up hugging Harrington instead of you."

You giggled quietly. " I'm sorry. I was hungry."

You turned around and set the stuff on the counter. Eddie came behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist. Putting his chin on your shoulder. 

" Can I have some?" He asked in his sleepy voice.

You nodded. " Open your mouth."

You turned around and he bent down a little so you could reach his mouth with the whipped cream. You gave him a mouth full, popping berries in your mouth at the same time. When he stood up he wiped the little bit of cream off the side of his mouth. But before he could lick it off you grabbed his hand and sucked his thumb clean. The way you slowly released him had him hard instantly. He pushed you against the counter. Putting both hands on either side of you. 

"Eddie?"

He got closer and leaned down to brush his nose in the side of yours. 

" Hmmm?"

" I missed you today."

He smirked. " I missed you too Angel."

He bumped your nose with his and you laughed a little. Making him so happy.

He let go of the counter and grabbed your hips. 

" Jump." He whispered.

You put your hands on his shoulders and did so. With his help he lifted you up onto the counter. Pushing the small plastic box of berries away. He pulled at your hips so that you were closer to the edge. He then went between your legs and lifted your shirt a little so he could grab your panties. You finally kissed him once they were off. 

"Ed…take it easy on me okay? I'm a little sore."

He nodded and kissed you softly. Gently pulling you closer. Your hands went to pull down his bottoms and boxers. Once his rock hard length was out you guided him into you. When he was fully in you, you wrapped your legs and arms around him. 

Eddie took you nice and slow. He was such a good lover. Making sure to say he loved you over and over again. His lips were on yours more often than not. 

As much as you wanted to cum. You really did miss him and wanted this to last longer than 5 minutes. So you told him that.

"B-babe. I-i want to cum. But I want you to keep going."

Eddie stopped moving and help you lay back. He pulled at your hips to move you back onto his cock. 

" Do you want to edge Angel?"

You bit your bottom lip and nodded. 

Eddie smirked. " Okay. Just tell me when it's too much. Then we can cum. "

You said a small 'okay'. Eddie then put your legs up and started moving again. He had you almost there about 3 times before neither him or you could take it. After the last one you gave him the go ahead to go as hard and as deep as he could. 

It was only a matter of seconds before you and he felt this white hot intensity. Your nipples hardened and every inch of your skin raised. Your hearing went as you finally gave in. Eddie's body hunched over as he continued to thrust shallowly until his balls were completely emptied. After he laid his top half on your soft tummy. Your legs went slack and your hands instinctually went for his head. He hummed as you lightly scratched his scalp. 

" Now I'm hungry."

You giggled. 

Eddie stood up grabbing a towel, wetting it with warm water. He cleaned you up first then himself. After he pulled up his bottoms and helped you with your undies. He then proceeded to pull out a cake from it's hiding place. You smiled so bright he couldn't help but chuckle. 

"Eddie it's so pretty."

He set it down next to you and went to grab a fork.

" Let's have some."

"Really?"

He kissed your forehead. " It's your birthday. You can eat the whole thing if you want."

You smiled again. " Why are you so good to me?"

He brought a fork full to your lips. " Well that's because I love you. And my girl deserves to be happy and taken care of."

You hummed as the sugary goodness danced on your taste buds.

Eddie smiled and took a huge bite himself. 

" This is so good babe. Did you make it?"

He nodded, giving you another bite. 

This little moment you had with Eddie was everything. You caught a glimmer in his eye as he grinned happily at you. You saw something. You saw your future. Years of this. Filled with love like this. It was such a simple thing. Eating cake on your birthday. But what it took for him to make it and decorate it. It was the time he took thinking about you. The love and care he had for you. And in this moment you knew. He was half of a whole. He was a part of you and you were a part of him.

" Can I ask you something?"

" You can ask me anything Angel."

You took a small drink of milk that he poured for you. After clearing your throat. The way he looked at you and smiled took your breath away. 

" Ed… do you ever think about the future?"

" Uhhh. Like future as in tomorrow or like a 5 year plan."

" 5 years?"

He put his hands on your shoulders and began rubbing them. 

" Well let's see. I hope by then we will all be living together. And Corroded Coffin will take off. Then we can all be happy. Just the three of us."

Just the 3 of us?

" Oh. So you don't want-"

" What are you guys doing up?" Steve said groggily.

Eddie and you looked over. 

" Nothing man. Just having some cake."

" Munson that was for the party."

" Party? What party?" You asked.

Both of your boys went silent.

" Eddie spaghetti?" You said in such a soft sweet tone it could have broken both of their hearts.

Eddie laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his neck. " I uhhh it was supposed to be a surprise."

Steve came over and started running his hand up and down your back. "We invited our friends and Erin." 

You looked at Eddie and he just smiled.

…

The day couldn't have gone any better. The guys watched as you played with your nephew. The way you smothered him with kisses and hugs made their hearts melt. Everyone was having a good time. Music was blaring and Steve was grilling. While Eddie was messing around with Dustin and the gang. 

Seeing your guys like this was so different from how they were behind closed doors. You liked this version of them. Entertaining friends and family. Stealing loving glances at you.

You were watching Eddie wrestling with Dustin and Mike. Another moment had passed when you saw your future kids playing with Eddie. Seeing him smile and laugh like that was all you could ever hope for. 

What is going on?

You shook off the thought. It was way too early to be wanting this. Sure the plan was to finish up school in two years. And by 23 or 24 you thought you might get married. Then start a family right away. 

But this relationship made you want it sooner.

…

After everyone was gone you took a shower. With Steve joining you. Eddie went into town to pick up some movies for the rest of the weekend. Scary ones of course. 

Steve made love to you while you both bathed. And though you wished Eddie would hurry and join. Steve could easily make you forget everything but him. 

Which he did. He had you bent over. Legs spread apart. Hands flat on the shower glass door. He had been so gentle and kind. That you wished he would do it more often. Not that him being rough was a bad thing. It's just refreshing when he takes care of you like this.

When Eddie finally came back he found you cuddled up next to Steve on the couch. Your eyes lit up when you saw him.

" Babe. What took you so long?"

Eddie frowned. " I'm sorry. I went home to grab something."

You pouted but held up your arms for a hug.

When he came you whispered in his ear. " Please don't leave again."

He gave you a kiss on the forehead. " I won't pretty girl. You got me and Steve for the rest of the weekend.

You held out your hand and he helped you up. 

" Go shower babe. Dad and I will set up the movie and pop some popcorn."

Eddie grinned and kissed your cheek before disappearing down the hall. You looked over to Steve and held out your hand for him. He gave you his perfect grin and took it. Hugging you from behind as you guys awkwardly penguin walked to the kitchen. Both laughing the whole way there.

Eddie took a quick shower and hurried to get back to you. When he came out he saw Steve lighting the fireplace and you were just setting down the bowl of popcorn and drinks on one of the end tables. Eddie snuck up behind you and smacked your ass.

You yelped and quickly turned around. " Oh you're gonna get it."

You moved towards him as he backed away with his hands up.

" No. Don't act all innocent. Give me your toosh."

Eddie chuckled and kept backing away until he hit a wall. You immediately took advantage and grabbed his hands. 

" It's only fair, Eddie. You spank me and I get to spank you…or…dad can do it for me."

Eddie had the biggest smirk and raised his brows. " Is that what you want, Angel? You want Steve to spank me?"

You let go of his hands and started playing with his hair. " I want what you want. We always do things for me…maybe this time we can do something you've both been wanting to do."

Steve walked over to you and moved your hair to the side. " What is that sweetheart?"

You looked over your shoulder at him. " Better if I show you."

You moved away from between them and started for the bedroom. " Could you please move the coffee table? And maybe lay a blanket down?"

The guys looked at each other and did as you asked. When you came back you had a medium size pink silk bag. You sat in the middle of the blanket on your knees. While the guys got on either side of you. Eddie tried to snatch the bag but you pulled away in time. He chuckled and kissed your temple. 

" What's that baby girl?"

You turned your head towards Steve. " A toy."

You pulled the drawstring back and revealed a pocket pussy. 

" I know it's not the real thing. But since I only have one. I thought maybe this could help."

Eddie grabbed your chin and pulled for you to look at him. " What exactly do you want to do with that?"

Your face got serious. "You like to watch right?"

A smirk grew on his lips. " I do."

" Well babe." You said inching your face closer to his. " What would you like to see me do with it?"

Eddie looked at Steve but you pulled at his chin. 

" Don't look at Dad. Look at me…what do you want Eddie?"

The way you whispered his name sent chills down his spine. He definitely liked you being in charge. Steve did too. Steve was actually enjoying the conversation you and Eddie were having. Something about the way you took the lead. No girl had ever done that before. It takes a lot to just be able to do this with them. But not only did you take it up so well, you were taking the reins more often than not.

" Eddie?" You whispered his name again ever so sweetly.

He was nervous. You saw his Adam's apple bop up and down and he started drumming his fingers on his thigh.

You put your soft warm hand on his and he relaxed. 

" Eddie. Don't be shy." You said getting to your knees and wrapping your arms around his neck. Slowly scratching his head. " Tell your Angel what you want her to do."

Eddie stared into your big beautiful curious eyes. What was it about you that made him want to give you everything? Like if you asked, he would burn the whole world down for you.

He smiled and pulled you so that you were straddling him.

" I want to watch you fuck Steve with that."

You bit your lip and felt your core throb.  Eddie then wrapped his hand around your neck and pulled you closer. Lips almost touching.

" Pretty girl…can I watch you fuck Steve?"

You nodded and kissed him. It got really heated very fast that you had to pull away so you could do what he wanted.

You stood up and went to Steve. He was sitting down leaning against the couch. Running his fingers through his perfect hair. You smiled down at him as you pulled off your pajama shirt. Steve's eyes were slits from the smile that was suddenly there. He sat up and slid his hands up your voluptuous thighs towards your panties. He placed one lingering kiss on your mound, then buried his nose between your clothed warmth. Bopping your clit and taking a whiff. With a soft groan he pulled away.

" Smells so good baby girl…can I take these off." He asked, snapping the elastic of your underwear against your skin.

You looked over your shoulder to Eddie and saw him palming his growing length watching the exchange. You looked back down to Steve and nodded. He quickly took them off. You dropped down and helped him take off everything. His long thick cock was harder than you've ever seen it. Your mouth watered seeing it drip with precum. You shimmied down his body. Leaving a trail of kisses along the way. Now on your side you moved to give Eddie a good view of what was about to happen. With your leg bent over Steve's you teasing him with your tongue. After a minute or so you got on your hands and knees.

Eddie's cock ached. Seeing you on all fours with your back arched and your big beautiful ass facing him was everything. He caught a glimpse of a silver plug with a bright pink gem and your perfect pussy soaked.

He smirked. My naughty angel.

He moved a little to see your mouth wrapped around Steve's head as you pumped him. Eddie's hand went straight under his bottoms and started stroking himself. He heard you softly moan as you took Steve deeper. Then you let go with a pop and moved a bit so Eddie could see exactly what you were doing next. 

He could have came at the sight, but he stopped touching himself so that this experience lasted longer. The first time this happened. He got way ahead of himself and came so fast. But not this time. This time Eddie was going to make sure you came a few times before he would allow himself. 

When you slid the pocket pussy on Steve, the sight made you impossibly wet. With Eddie watching you and Steve grunting made you feel on top of the world. 

Steve grabbed your chin, making you look at him. " Feels good."

You smiled at him. " What would it feel amazing?"

Steve leaned forward and whispered into your mouth. " Suck on my balls."

You kissed him quickly and leaned forward. Swirling around your tongue on each heavy ball.

That was it for Eddie. He couldn't take it anymore. He got up and went behind you. Grabbing one of your cheeks. Lifting it to expose your pussy more. He then grabbed his dick and pushed into you. Your head instantly went back with a gasp escaping you.

Still trying to focus on Steve while Eddie pounded into you was harder than you thought. It was always hard to focus on more than one person at a time. And you thought you would eventually get there. However tonight wasn't the night. You stopped moving your hand and squeezed your eyes shut. Eddie had never been this needy for you before. Nor had he been so rough. Yet here he was smacking your ass pretty hard and pulling your hair so that your back was up against his chest. Once you were up he wrapped an arm around your overhanging tummy and gripped your neck.

Eddie growled. " Yeah. Yeah. Fuckin' take it." 

Your cries got louder and Eddie was gone. He was so damn close. It was almost impossible to not cum. Especially when your walls fluttered around him. Giving him the indication that you liked when he was rough with you. He took that as permission to push it a little more. He then squeezed your throat a little and bit your shoulder. That's when your warm wet walls clenched him the tightest he ever felt. 

He let go of your neck and pulled gently at your chin. Giving you a harsh wet kiss while he came.

When he was done he loosened his hold on you and kissed where he bit you. You hummed and finally opened your eyes to find Steve smiling at you while he used the pocket pussy. Eddie gave you one last kiss before pulling out and letting you go. He let himself fall to the side and closed his eyes. Still panting.

Steve tossed the toy away and held out his arms. " Come to daddy sweetheart."

You gave him a little nod and crawled into his lap. 

Steve tucked your hair behind your shoulder and whispered. " Did you cum baby girl?"

You nodded again. " Just a little one."

He kissed your cheek. " Well, let's give you a big one yeah? Can you do that for me baby?"

" uh-huh." You whimpered against his lips.

Steve kissed you and lifted you a bit to align himself with your entrance. Slowly letting you sink into his lap. While moaned into his mouth you start rolling your hips. Steve then threw his arm around your waist and guided you into a little bounce.

" Good girl. Just like that."

You held onto his shoulders in order to get some support as you moved faster. 

" God I love your pussy."

Eddie opened his eyes after a minute or two and looked over to you and Steve. Seeing your hair bounce on your bare back while you hopped, combined with your heavy breathing got him hard again. When he sat up he felt a little bit of his cum dribble down his stomach. He scooped it up with a couple of fingers and went to you and Steve. Eddie first glanced at Steve then cupped your face. Making you meet his gaze.

He lifted his cum stain fingers and you grabbed his wrist and sucked them clean.

" Fuck! That's my girl." Eddie cooed. " Such a good little slut."

You gave him big pouty eyes. Like you wanted more of him. So Eddie had to oblige. 

Steve's mouth was now on your chest. Sucking bruises everywhere. Marking you up as his too. That's when Eddie grabbed Steve's knees and said.

" Hold on to your daddy pretty girl."

You did so and Steve held you a little tighter. Eddie then pulled both you and Steve down. Causing Steve to fall back, pulling you with him. Once you and Steve were comfortable again. Steve held you where you were and pounded into you. Hitting that sweet spot. 

Eddie then put a leg over Steve's thigh and put both hands on your bouncing ass. Flicking your cute little plug. Steve stopped ramming into you for a second so Eddie could take out the toy. Eddie leaned in and spit on your now empty hole. He then aligned his tip with the only open space left for him.

" Where we at Angel?" He asked. 

" Uhhh. Green-green." You answered breathlessly.

Steve kissed you then met your forehead with yours. " Eddie's gonna go slow okay. If it hurts too much tell me."

You nodded once more. Eddie then spit on his dick and spread it around.

You gasped as Eddie's tip split you open. This was a first. The guys always took turns with your lower half. But now you were incredibly full. Deliciously full. It felt otherworldly. Just a touch under overwhelming. 

When Eddie felt you relax he went balls deep. The slight discomfort went away and all you felt was immense pleasure. 

Steve then brought your attention back to him.

" I'm gonna move okay."

" y-yes daddy."

He grinned at you and started going the same pace as Eddie. You scrunch your eyes closed and buried your face in the slope of Steve's neck. 

The boys were doing an excellent job of making you feel good. So good that you felt this white hot fire burning deep within your stomach. But what pushed you over the edge was Steve whispering things in your ear.

" Mmm my sweet sweet girl…you know how good you would look with my baby in you…you want that? Would you like me to put a baby in that beautiful belly?"

You clenched. What was it about those words making you feral? 

"Yeah sweetheart?" 

Steve felt you nod and smiled. "Y-yeah. But you have to cum for me…Give me a big one baby girl. And you can have all my babies. "

Without warning you went over that edge. Letting the wave consume every inch of you. Your skin laced with goosebumps and your nipples hardened as your climax felt like it was seeping from your pores. Legs shaking, fingernails digging into Steve's arm, eyes rolling back.

Eddie couldn't hear what Steve was saying but he didn't care. Whatever he was saying to you, made your already tight suction cup of a hole hugged and pulled him in even more. 

" OH G-GOD!" Steve and Eddie said at the same time.

That orgasm lasted at least a minute and a half. You were officially out for the count. However, your boys kept going. Making it nearly impossible to not squirm.

" Yel-low!" You cried out.

Eddie and Steve looked at each other and nodded. You were almost to your limit. They both thrusted a few more times before Eddie pulled out and came on your bottom. Steve gave you what he promised. A pussy full of his babies. 

Once they finished you went limp on Steve. They gave you a few minutes before helping you up. You barely could keep yourself up. So Eddie held onto you while Steve started the shower. All of you squeezed in. You leaned against Steve while Eddie washed you up. You could have fallen asleep right then and there. 

Soon after the shower the guys got you dressed and into bed. The last thing you remember was laying in Eddie's arms with Steve caressing your side.

When Eddie heard your little moans he kissed your forehead.

" Harrington?" He whispered

" Yeah?"

" uhhh what did you say that made her cum so hard?"

Steve lifted his head. "Why? Did you not like it?"

" Yeah I did. I fuckin' loved it…I just want to know what got her like that."

Steve looked at you and smiled. " I said she would look beautiful with a baby in her. And I asked if she would like that."

Eddie's stomach sank. " You what?!"

Steve shot him a look when his sudden outburst caused you to stir.

" Munson seriously?! She needs to rest. We took a lot out of her today." Steve said just above a whisper.

" I-I know man. Sorry. But really? Now you guys are talking about that?"

" Uhh yeah Munson. We talk alot about our future."

Eddie clenched his jaw. Again he felt like a third wheel. Was that what you were trying to talk to him about? Did you want kids… now?

He looked at you and felt bad. He didn't want kids. He didn't even believe in the whole institution of marriage. Sure he wanted a person to love and be fully committed to them. But he was cynical. He thought that a soul mate wasn't real. That in order to make things work, you have to be able to accept that not one person in this world is perfect. However, on the other hand he never felt this way about anyone. He never felt such happiness. When he was with you, nothing else mattered. 

Eddie sighed. " Harrington I know we all want to be together. I just…" he tucked your hair behind your ear. " I don't want her to be disappointed if things don't happen the way you guys want it to."

" What does that mean?"

Eddie pulled you closer and gave you a little forehead kiss. " It means that I want her to be happy. I want her to have everything she dreams of having. And if the day comes where I can't give her that…I want you to." 

…

Thanks for reading. What should happen next?

@salenorona23 @erinsingalong @sillypurplemurple @tessab154 @bethanysnow @ibathealone @stardustmunson @impossibelle

[felicitysmoaksx]

Hi everyone! Not much to say here except this chapter is probably the fluffiest yet in this universe. There is a bit of an ambiguous ending with Hank though so you can decide what Sarah does in this scenario. Or at least until I post another chapter because I adore this version of the series so much and when I think it's the last chapter, I get another idea haha. And for all of you wondering where the next chapter of Bottled Up Feelings are Silently Screaming is at, it's coming. I just hit a bit of writer's block. But it's coming. I might also have another version of this series where Sarah was paralyzed from the last down. But I don't know if that's something people would be interested in reading or if it'd be just interesting to me. So leave me an answer in the comments or tell me in my askbox on Tumblr. Song Recs for this chapter: You’re In Love- Taylor Swift, I'll Keep You Safe- Sleeping At Last, At Least- Jessica Baio Happy Reading!

Rating: Explicit (Minors DNI 18+)

Summary:  Hank says enough is enough and learns about Sarah's new boyfriend while Connor learns something new about Sarah. Which leads to a heart-to-heart between the two.

Word Count: 4.5k

Warnings: None that I can see except for a few implicit dangerous scenes and explicit smut

Read On AO3 | Fic Playlist | Fic Playlist but Less Shippy | Want to be tagged when I post a Rheese story

There was a stilted silence in the air. Sarah bit her bottom lip before she sighed and stood from the table. Making her way into the kitchen, she watched Hank move about the kitchen for a moment. Another month had passed without them talking and her pseudo-father had finally said enough. He had all but summoned her here tonight. (Well he said it was another family dinner. But when she got to the house she learned, it would just be her and Hank.)

“Are you sure you don’t need help?” She asked quietly. When he told her it was just going to be them tonight, Hank had tried to soften the blow by telling her he was making her favorite meal. (And quite possibly it was also a bribe to get her to stay when she realized no one else was coming.) 

Her pseudo-father shook his head, waving her offer away. “I’m almost done. But you could take our drinks to the table.”

Sarah nodded, grabbed the two glasses of tea, and walked them to the dining room table. She sat down and once more there was that silence. A stilted silence that made the curly-haired brunette fidget with nerves. 

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“Hey, Doc!” Stella greeted him enthusiastically with a grin as she turned to hand another customer their drink. Then she turned back to grin at him. “Another day at the office?” 

“Another day,” he agreed, nodding his head. “Manhattan please, Stella.” 

Then Connor noticed Detective Lindsay sitting at a table off to the side with a blonde woman, “And another round for Detective Lindsay and her friend please.” 

“You got it.” 

Erin, who heard her name, smirked at her sister’s boyfriend before she waved him over. She scooted over and he took the seat she had been occupying. “Are you trying to earn some brownie points with me, Dr. Rhodes?” 

 “I want to make a good impression.” Connor shrugged, feigning nonchalance. But maybe there was some truth in the police detective’s words because Erin and Sarah were close. If Erin didn’t like him, it wouldn’t be good for his relationship with Sarah. “I know you and Sarah are very close. But I thought you had a family dinner tonight. At least that’s what Sarah told me.” 

“Hank just told her that. They need to talk and this is Hank’s way of doing that. I didn’t know about his plan till I left the district today.” Sarah’s big sister told him, shaking her head, before she turned to her friend. The blonde was trying to contain laughter.  “Annie, this is Sarah’s new boyfriend who isn’t so new, apparently. Connor, this is Annie. We’ve been friends since we were kids, but you might recognize her as Travis’ mom.” 

A light of reconnection flared in Connor’s blue eyes. “That’s right. Is he doing okay? I know that day was a lot for anyone.”

“Kids are very resilient. Two days later he was fine. Honestly, I was more shaken than he was. It helped that Sarah was there with him. The little danger magnet, though she is, kept him calm and safe. That’s all I could ask for.” 

It was an off-handed comment, by the way Annie said it but it still caught Connor’s attention.

“Danger Magnet?” He repeated and his eyes drifted to stare at Erin. The woman sighed, shaking her head. “Annie,”

“What? Come on Erin. You’ve even said it yourself, it’s like that switch that controls fear flips the other direction with her. Especially when someone else is in danger. Look at last month with Olive.”

Or the month before that with the ED on lockdown.

“Last month? You’re talking about when she got burned?” Connor asked, looking from the police detective to her friend. Erin nodded. “According to Olive, Justin’s wife. Sarah pushed her out of the way just before she could get burned.” 

“And that’s just one example,” Annie said as Stella brought their drinks to their table. With a smile of thanks, their friend/firefighter/bartender left to go tend to other customers. “Go ahead, tell him about that day in the train station.” 

Erin looked like she really didn’t want to and Connor almost told her she didn’t have to, but Annie had already opened the door. Besides that, he was curious. So with a heavy sigh and a large pull of her drink, the detective began her story. 

“Sarah was coming back from a trip to New York. She was looking at medical schools and wasn’t totally sold on Northwestern yet. We were supposed to pick her up at Penn Station. And we were there, but we were also on a case that day too. Antonio Dawson’s son-” Sarah’s sister broke off and the dark-haired surgeon felt his stomach drop and fill with something like dread.

“She heard us talking about a suspect. Saw the guy and Diego Dawson boarding a bus. Next thing we know, we’ve lost her and Voight has a text message from her saying Diego was on a bus.  Then we get the driver on the phone and she is telling us there’s a female cop on her bus. Non-uniformed. But she just flashed her badge. I was the only plain clothes cop there. …Instead of telling us what she thought she saw, Sarah had pickpocketed my badge off of my hip and had gotten on that bus with Antonio's son. Because he was in danger.”

“But it was the anniversary of Camille’s death. We all kind of spiral on that day anyways.” Erin finished the story with a sad sigh. Even Annie’s amused face morphed into one of solemn sadness. 

“I can’t believe that it’s been eight years already,” Annie said softly. Seeing Connor’s confused face, Sarah’s big sister clarified, “Hank’s late wife. Ovarian Cancer.” 

An understanding look passed over the surgeon's face. Sarah had talked about Erin, Justin, Hank, Olive, Erin’s brother: Teddy, and even to some extent Erin’s and Teddy’s mother: Bunny. But she never mentioned Hank having a wife. It made sense though. Justin Voight had to come from somewhere.

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“Erin mentioned that you have a boy these days?” They were almost halfway through their dinner when Hank brought up Connor. Sarah nearly choked mid-bite. Swallowing tightly, she wiped her mouth with a napkin and coughed. 

“Did she?” She continued to cough before she reached for her glass and swallowed the rest of her drink in two gulps. She wondered if Erin telling Hank about Connor was her pseudo-sister’s way of getting the heat off of her and Jay because Sarah didn’t think they found a way to tell Hank about them being a couple yet. 

Her pseudo-father nodded his head, “She said that you’ve been seeing him for a while too. That it was getting serious?” 

“Five months. Give or take a month,” Sarah answered with a deep flush filling her cheeks. Sarah knew it was on its way to being serious, but was five months actually serious? Despite her many attempts to give it back to him, Connor never took his spare key back from her. That key now lived on her key ring while he just got another spare key made for his apartment. He also had a key to her apartment now too even though (She was pleased to report that he fit in her bed. But just barely.) she spent five nights out of the week at his place. 

Hank tilted his head, regarding her with perceptive eyes. “How’d you meet him?”

“At the hospital. He’s a surgeon there. I’ve actually known him for a while at a distance. Since I started at Med for my ED rotation. We didn’t get close until a few months back.” Sarah explained as she pushed some vegetables around her plate. Her pseudo-father clicked his tongue.

“Another person from the hospital,” he murmured slowly. Sarah heard the apprehension in his voice and the brunette frowned. She shook her head, “It’s not like that. He’s not like Joey, Hank. He treats me well. It’s probably my best relationship as an adult.” 

Her pseudo-father was still gazing at her with that critical look. Avoiding his eyes, Sarah scooped some of the food on her plate into her mouth.

“You think you’ll marry him?” The choking and coughing noise? Yeah, that was coming from her.

“What?? No!” she sputtered, still coughing. Then she thought about it and shrugged. Because now the brunette was actually thinking about it.  Feeling a little sheepish because truthfully? Even though her future was blurry with Connor, it seemed to drift a little more into focus each day. (Sarah, what are you saying? You haven’t even said ‘I love you yet.’) 

“I don’t know. It’s still too early to tell.” 

“You know, I knew I’d marry Camille early on.” He told her with that same wan smile. The one she saw before the car exploded. Sarah felt her hand clench around her fork. It wasn’t like Hank to stall. He wasn’t the type to beat around the bush. Setting the piece of silverware down, the brunette sighed. 

“Why don’t you just tell me why I’m really here, Hank?” The brunette asked him and when he sighed; she continued, “Because you wouldn’t bring me here just to talk about my love life.” 

“I wouldn’t if you would be talking to me at all these days. Take one of my phone calls in the last few months.” Hank said quietly, standing to take the plates to the kitchen. There it was. She followed him to the kitchen. 

“You’ve been avoiding me,” Hank said and Sarah remained silent. Just like Hank promised to be with her till the world blew up, they also made a promise to never lie to each other. Even if things were bad. Especially if things were bad. 

“You lied to me.” Her pseudo-father raised an eyebrow at her accusation as well as the tone of her voice. She continued, “Charlie. Him being back not only in the state of Illinois but in Chicago.” 

Hank sighed, “I didn’t lie to you, Sarah. I just didn’t tell you-”

“No,” Sarah’s voice was so cold and crisp; that it could cut through metal. “Don’t you dare try to pull that. An omission is still a lie. You of all people taught me that.”

“Sarah,  It was an investigation.” Hank turned away from her as he turned on the kitchen sink faucet to start the dishes. 

“But what about after the investigation was over? When you arrested him…What was stopping you from telling me then?” Sarah pressed him, her hands clenched into fists. He sighed again and she felt her hands curl in even tighter. 

Hank dried his hands. Then he rested a hand on her shoulder, “Sarah, I know you’re not a kid anymore. You aged out of the system years ago and I know I’m not your guardian anymore ” 

 “But as I’ve always said, you’re my kid. No blood or piece of paper is stopping the fact that you’re my daughter.  So I’m going to try and protect you whenever I can. You’ve taken enough lumps in your life since I’ve met you and  I’m not always going to explain myself and you’re not going to like that. That is okay. You can be mad at me all you want or need to. But never forget that I love you. That I do these things because I love you.” 

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“Sarah? You here?” Connor called out, dropping his messenger bag by the door and his keys on the kitchen counter. The television was on when he unlocked his front door and the backlights in his kitchen were on, but the lights in the living room were off. Sarah usually did that because she liked the dim lighting with the glow the city lights cast into his apartment. 

Connor saw her hand shoot up from the couch before he heard Sarah’s soft moan. It sounded like she had been asleep. With a small smile, he made his way over to her. When he saw his girlfriend bundled up, he chuckled a little. “The bed would probably be more comfortable.”

“Didn’t seem late enough to go to bed yet. Plus I was trying to wait up for you. By the way, I brought you some leftovers if you’re hungry. They’re in the fridge.” She yawned as she started to sit up. The dark-haired man felt himself soften. It almost took his mind off of the story Erin had told him earlier. Almost.

“Thanks. But Maggie forced me to take a late lunch break so I’m not that hungry.” He mumbled quietly as he bent down and cupped her face to press a quick kiss to her lips. Then he slipped an arm under her legs and wrapped the other around her waist before he lifted her into the air. 

“Connor, I can walk.” Sarah protested even though she nuzzled her head into his neck and her arms looped around his neck. 

“Sarah, I can carry you,” Connor mimicked her tone, stopping by the door. “Lock the door for me, baby? My hands are kind of tied up.” 

“Whose fault is that?” Sarah teased him as a yawn left her mouth, but she flipped both locks on the door. In response to her teasing, he kissed her forehead. He lingered. 

“Are you okay?” She asked, narrowing her brown orbs at him. Though her sleepy haze clouded her gaze and made her pointed look miss its mark. 

No, with what he was told tonight Connor he was very much not okay because his girlfriend seemed to have a knack for running headfirst into danger...and he had no bubble wrap large enough to wrap around her frame. He moved to the bedroom. “Fine. Just tired. Why do you ask?” 

“You kissed me on the forehead and lingered. You only do that when I’m sick, hurt or something is bugging you. And I’m not sick or hurt. So that leaves the third option.” She told him, rubbing her eyes as she was set on his bed. 

“You did laundry?” Connor asked when he saw the basket of laundry. The curly-haired brunette nodded falling back on the bed. “After my dinner, I needed something to do and I noticed your scrubs were dirty. I also changed the sheets on the bed since you said the other day, you had been meaning to do it. But the dirty ones are washed and in the dryer.” 

“You didn’t have to do that,” Connor told her before he walked the basket to the bathroom so he could fold it tomorrow. He didn’t always use the closet in the bathroom, but he had shuffled things around so Sarah had space for her stuff too. 

“Connor, I spend five nights out of the week here. Sometimes more than that and you do my laundry when I leave stuff here. I can help out. Besides, I needed something to do. My dinner with Hank was something. And it was just Hank and I, by the way, he lied about Erin and Justin being there.” 

“I know. I ran into your sister and her friend Annie, at Molly’s earlier. Erin told me what was going on.” He called as he walked back to her. “Her and Annie had some interesting stories about you. They told me you’re a danger magnet.” 

His blue eyes trailed after her as he leaned against the bathroom door frame, facing into his bedroom. He watched as she tumbled out of his bed and then pulled one of his long-sleeved t-shirts out of the dresser, before she swapped the one she had on her body for it.  It fell to the middle of her thighs.“Had a few stories to prove it too.”

“What do you want me to say here, Connor?” She yawned while he prowled more into the room, shucking his jeans and shirt. “If I see someone I care about in danger, and I have the power to get them out of it then of course I’m going to take the chance.”

Scoffing, he pulled her into his arms, dropping his forehead to hers. “Even if it means at the expense of you?” 

His brunette beauty avoided looking in his eyes while she shrugged. A growl left Connor’s mouth while he tipped her chin up to meet his eyes. Her brown eyes were sad while his were filled with a fiery anger. “You can’t jump in and save everyone, Sarah. It’s just not possible.”

History was repeating itself because he said those exact words to her two years earlier. 

“I might not be able to save everyone but watch me try either way.” She responded in an almost petulant tone of voice. Connor released another growl of frustration and moved his knee in between her legs as he lifted her up to sit on the bed. His stubborn stubborn girlfriend.

“But what about the people that care about you? What happens to them when something happens to you? Your dad, sister, and brother? Your friends?” Me? He left himself out of the question, but from the way her brown eyes softened, she heard the unspoken word. 

She was back to not meeting Connor’s gaze as she admitted quietly, “I’m expendable, Connor.”

“What the hell-”

“There was a time that I didn’t think I’d make it to see my sixteenth birthday. I was nine the first time that thought entered my mind. And I know how fucked up that sounds. I knew it was fucked up then. And I don’t know. Maybe, even though I know I made it past that birthday and I’m healthy. Nothing short of a freak accident happening right now.  Part of me-the unconscious part of me that is still that scared kid, because no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to get rid of her and she still thinks she is living on borrowed time.”

Dread filled his stomach because if this was truly the way she thought about herself…Her brown orbs turned glassy as tears gathered in her eyes. “I know that sounds awful. But if I’m going to die…I want my death to mean something.”

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No words seemed to be able to convey what he wanted to say. How he wanted to shake her and make her see reason. She wasn’t expendable; she never would be. At least not to her family or to him. So Connor crushed his lips to hers in a desperate kiss as he brought her body closer. No room was left between them. His tongue fighting with hers. The brunette beauty in his arms whimpered, cupping his face in her small hands. She scooted back a little so her legs could wrap around his waist. Connor crawled after her. With a gasp, Sarah pulled away with her lips feeling a little swollen from Connor’s kiss. 

“Connor,” she moaned when he angled his head so he could press open-mouthed kisses to her neck. “Connor,” 

Hands seemed to trace down her body. Everywhere she felt branded by his handprints as they pressed softly into her skin. Her back arched as those hands slipped under her shirt. Connor rasped against her skin, “Arms up, baby. I want you naked right now.” 

Sarah giggled and did as she was told. As the shirt left her body she said playfully, “But I’ll be cold.”

“That’s why you have me,” he growled when she bucked against him. The shirt fell to the floor. Then settling his hips against hers, he pressed his lips to her jaw as he reached behind her to undo her bra. The cool air made her nipples harden as he threw the garment on the floor. Connor’s ocean-blue eyes darkened at the sight. It made Sarah grin. 

She had a set of lingerie she had bought months back in a spur-of-the-moment buy with the man on top of her in mind because it was in his favorite color and accented her cleavage especially, very nicely. But she hadn’t had the confidence to wear it because when she bought the underwear set, she wasn’t sure if buying lingerie for a guy she just sleeping with was socially acceptable. She hadn’t worn the set in the last two months because she worried she would be uncomfortable with the laces in the back agitating her healing burns.

She whined when he wouldn’t let her buck against him. “Connor! Don’t tease. Just fuck me,”

“No,” his voice was a low rumble in her ear. He pressed a kiss there too. “I’m not fucking you tonight.” 

“What? Conn-” she started and was cut off by her boyfriend’s lip capturing hers. She moaned and he swallowed the sound. Her hands drifted to his hair. Now it was her boyfriend who pulled away first. Another whine left Sarah’s mouth. 

“Patience baby.” He murmured against her skin before he leaned up a little. She watched through hooded eyes as he trailed a hand down her stomach. Then it disappeared from view and she felt his fingers against her clit through the fabric of her boyshorts. She jumped a little at the sensation at first before she settled, spreading her legs wider for him. “Ohhh,”

“Already wet and I haven’t really done anything.” He mumbled licking a path up her stomach to her breast with the tip of his tongue. She couldn’t even find it in herself to feel embarrassed. 

“My body knows you.” She mewled the words as an explanation as Connor teased her nipple again by swirling the tip of his tongue around it. “Please, Connor!”

“You need to be wetter for what I have planned though.” He rasped and that voice. That voice and the way he spoke in bed alone could have her dripping in a matter of minutes. But it wasn’t like she didn’t have her own tricks up her sleeve too. 

“And what-Oh!” She was interrupted by him sucking her nipple into his mouth. After sucking on it briefly, he released it with a wet pop. Then she was crying out as he sucked a biting mark just underneath where he had been moments earlier. It added to the collection of love bites she already had. The words that fell out of her mouth were a mere pant and unintelligible, but she finally managed to calm down enough to purr, “And what do you have planned, Dr. Rhodes?” 

“Fuck,” Her boyfriend moaned against her skin. But with the way Connor’s body was pressed against hers, Sarah could feel how much her words affected him without the verbal noise. She grinned as he kissed a path back up to her lips. Another bruising kiss was pressed to her already swollen lips. 

Her hands drifted back to his inky black hair and she tugged on the strands. He pulled away from her lips to tug at her ear lobe with his teeth before he whispered, “I plan on making love to you slowly and thoroughly. I want you wet enough that we can hear it as my cock enters and leaves you. Over and over again.” 

Her teeth sunk into his shoulder a moment later to muffle the loud moan that left her mouth. It wasn’t often that Connor talked dirty like that to her. It was only broken out on special occasions. And she knew from reading romance novel after romance novel in college, that this dirty talk was milder than most. But it excited the curly-haired brunette in just the right way. 

He moaned before he leaned over and took a condom out of his nightstand. Then he removed both of their undergarments still remaining and rolled it on himself. He situated himself against her center.

“Expendable was the word you used baby?” He mumbled, pressing another kiss to her jaw. With her eyes widened, she nodded mutely. Humming Connor instructed her to wrap her arms around his neck, “I want to feel you, Sarah…That’s my girl. Because that’s what you are. Mine. My girl.” 

With those words, he thrust into her shallowly. They both moaned. 

In and out. In a slow steady pace. It was almost like he was teasing her but more intense. They could hear the squelching as well as the slap of their skins. But that wasn’t what filled Sarah’s ears until she and her lover both came; it was the possessive word Connor kept repeating like a mantra. “Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine...” 

“Yours,” Sarah echoed as she reached her high. Nails clawing into his back. Choking out another moan, “Yours.” 

 Connor fell into that pleasurable high a moment later with a throaty groan.

[LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK]

Afterward, when Connor had cleaned her up (Because he wouldn’t let her do it herself.) and put cream over the burns on her back, (Okay, that’s because she couldn’t reach her burns herself.) and put his shirt back on her, (“I undressed you, baby. A gentleman always takes care of their woman.”)  they settled against each other in bed. Sarah nuzzled her face into his fuzzy chest. 

“Not that I’m in any way complaining, but what was that?” She whispered, peering up at him from her place on his chest. A worn-out smile on her lips. The arm around her waist tightened as he used his other hand card through her curls. 

“Run head first into danger all you want to. I’m not deluded enough to think I could change that about you. Even if it makes me want to shake some sense into you, I don’t think I want to change that about you.” He started softly, “But you are not expendable baby. You have people that care about you.” 

He paused to cup her jaw so she was looking at him, “I care about you, Sarah. I love you.” 

Their blurry future just got starkly more in focus with those three little words. (She didn’t fail to see the irony that she had just thought about those words just earlier this evening.)  It was a scary feeling to realize that they weren’t just on their way to serious anymore. They were right smack dab in the middle of serious. But the more Sarah thought about it, the more she realized…

“I love you too.” She whispered back, pressing a kiss to the hand holding her chin. Because truthfully, Connor’s warm embrace had become a place of safety for her. His warm citrus scent filled her with similar security to what she felt at home. Connor had become home for her. Despite all of the denying she did and attempts to keep herself from getting too attached to him, that’s why she asked Maggie to get him the night she got burned. She pecked his lips, urging him quietly with a bright grin. “Say it again.” 

“I love you, baby.” His tone was soft and muted. His smile was gentle as he brushed her curls back and traced a finger down her cheek. Another kiss on his lips was his reward, “I love you too.”

[drabbles-mc]

Doctor Recommended

Nestor Oceteva & Erin Thomas

For Day 6 of @whumpril's 2023 Challenge: painkillers/bad coping mechanisms

Warnings: 18+, language, alcohol, mentions of pills

Word Count: 2.5k

A/N: In a twist that is shocking to no one at all, I do have a bigger fic about these two sitting in my wip folder as we speak. It exists completely separate from this one-shot, but it does exist. Despite the fact that the two of them have never shared a single second of screentime, you can catch me constantly thinking about Nestor and Erin together anyway. No one can stop me. 😌

Mayans Taglist: @buckybarneshairpullingkink @thesandbeneathmytoes @paintballkid711 @queenbeered @kelpies-shed @yourwonkywriter @gemini0410 @mijagif @amorestevens @garbinge @justreblogginfics @rosieposie0624 @choochoo284 @littlekittymeow @anditsmywholeheart @artemiseamoon @nessamc @crowfootwrites @beardburnsupersoldiers @winchestershiresauce @frattsparty @fanfic-n-tabulous @justazzi @passionatewrites @darqchilddaydreamz @camelia35 (If you want to be added to any of my taglists, please let me know!)

The house was silent as Nestor made his way through to the kitchen. Despite the fact that the last forty-eight hours had gone horrendously, and that his right arm was now strapped down in a sling, he still was pulling his overnight watch at the Galindo house. Realistically, he didn’t know how much use he would be if something were to happen, but the house had yet to be ambushed in the dead of night so he figured it would be a relatively safe and easy shift.

For the few hours that he’d been there so far, everything had been quiet. Everyone was upstairs and, presumably, asleep. The house was as close to silent as it would ever be. Most of what he’d been doing was just patrolling and making sure that nothing looked like it was out of the ordinary.

Even though it’d been an uneventful night so far, it didn’t stop the shooting pain in his shoulder that was quickly starting to travel down his arm. The doctor had given him painkillers when he’d initially gotten checked out. The pain hadn’t been bad enough, in Nestor’s opinion, to warrant them yet. However, he also had no intention of spending the entire night in pain. So he made his way to the kitchen with the intention of finally taking a couple of the pills to at least take a bit of the edge off.

Erin was quietly making her way back to her room upstairs from the bathroom when she heard noises coming from downstairs. If it had been anyone else’s house, she would’ve assumed that it was nothing, but it wasn’t just anyone’s house. She didn’t pretend to know all the details of what Miguel got up to when he left the house, but she knew that things hadn’t been going well lately. After all, there was no other reason that the man would’ve called her and invited her to the house.

She was regretting all of that as she crept down the stairs and started making her way towards the noise. She knew that it was an ill-informed decision—it wasn’t like she had any weapons on her and she had no interest in getting into a brawl with an intruder, but it was too late now. She was too committed to the plan.

The closer she got to rounding the corner to get into the kitchen, the better she could make out some of the actual sounds. She heard someone grumbling but she couldn’t quite make out the words. Then she heard something clattering against the countertops. Her heart felt like it was starting to creep up into her throat as she tried to brace herself for rounding the corner.

She stepped into the kitchen with more speed and gusto than necessary, and with more than she thought she would be able to muster given the late hour. She was holding her breath, eyes wide as she looked around to see who was in the house and what was going on.

Her sudden appearance caught Nestor off-guard. The still-closed pill bottle in his hands slipped from his grasp and clattered against the counter again. He whipped around to face her, having to reach with his non-dominant hand for his gun, the motion much slower than it would’ve been if he actually had use of his right arm.

That turned out to be a good thing for both of them, though. In the time that it took for him to try and reach for his gun, he realized that it was only Erin, and the extra couple of seconds that she had on him because of her silent approach allowed her to see that it was only Nestor. As much as she hated that Miguel always seemed to have people wandering around the house at all hours, she was glad that he was at least supposed to be there.

“Fuck me,” she said, the words sounding more like a sigh of relief than anything else.

Nestor was struggling to re-holster his gun, eyes trained on that rather than Erin as he asked, “What are you doing up?”

She walked deeper into the kitchen, landing herself on the opposite side of the island from him. “I thought I heard someone breaking in to try and, I don’t know, kill everyone.” Even with her hushed voice, the sarcasm was impossible to miss.

He lifted his eyes and looked at her, eyebrows raised as he took in the sight of her in a ratty, over-sized t-shirt and pajama shorts. All he could think was that if he had been someone breaking in, Erin wouldn’t have posed much of a threat. “Planned on being the first to go?”

She laughed quietly and rolled her eyes. “Big talk coming from the guy who can’t pull his gun right now.” She leaned forward so that her forearms were braced against the countertop. “Why are you even here? Like, are you even useful right now?”

Nestor would’ve taken more time to be annoyed by her commentary if he hadn’t been so busy battling it out with the bottle of pills in his hand. “Useful enough,” he grumbled out.

An amused grin came over her lips as she watched him struggle. “Yea, I see that.”

Nothing more was said between the two of them as Nestor continued to fiddle with the bright orange bottle of pills. Erin perched her chin in her hand as she watched him. She could’ve easily gone back to bed, but she knew that she wasn’t going to fall back to sleep anytime soon so there was no point. Instead, she kept herself camped out on the opposite side of the island, perfectly content while Nestor had growing frustration to pair with his intensifying pain.

Erin wouldn’t have had any problem popping the top off the bottle of pills for him, but she wanted him to ask for the help. She didn’t have any specific problem with Nestor that made her want to watch him struggle, but she knew that it really wouldn’t kill him to just ask for some assistance.

He could feel her eyes on him as his left hand wrapped around the bottle and tried to get the top off. As if being in pain wasn’t enough, now he had an audience to his temporary incompetence. He didn’t have to be looking at her to know that she was getting a kick out of it all, probably scheming up some smart remarks. He was no stranger at this point to being on the end of those, but the pain he was in made him a little less tolerant of it all.

A couple different times he tried to use the hand of his arm that was bound in the sling. Each time, though, he was reminded that everything in his arm and hand were connected because another jolt of pain would go through him when he attempted to put apply any kind of pressure with that hand.

Letting out a deep sigh, he fought the urge to just slam the plastic bottle against the countertop. His left hand was clamped down tightly over the lid, and even in the low lighting of the kitchen Erin could see the clench in his jaw as he tried not to throw the entire thing across the house.

His shoulders rose and fell as he took a deep breath, ready to make another futile attempt at it all. Erin didn’t know how long the two of them had actually been standing there on either side of the island, but it was far too long for so little reward. The second he lifted the bottle off the countertop, Erin leaned over the island, nearly lifting her feet off the floor in the process of reaching, and snatched the bottle out of his hand.

“I can’t fuckin’ watch this anymore,” she said with a roll of her eyes.

“I—”

“No you don’t,” she didn’t allow him to try and argue. It took her all of five seconds to get the lid off. She handed the bottle back over to him, keeping the lid to herself as she spun it on the counter like it was a coin she’d found along the way.

Her hand toyed idly with the cap to the bottle while she watched Nestor set the bottle down before turning around and stepping over towards the cupboards where all of the glasses and plates were kept. Reaching up, he pulled the door to one open and grabbed a glass tumbler for himself. Erin assumed that he was going to put it under the sink faucet and fill it with water. Instead, though, he set the glass down on the counter and reached for one of the bottles of whiskey intermingled among hers and Emily’s numerous bottles of wine.

That was a bottle that he was able to get the cap off of with no problem. Erin chuckled as she watched him pour a fairly generous amount of the liquor into the glass that he’d gotten. He screwed the cap back onto the bottle, sliding it back into place before moving the glass to the island where the open bottle of pills sat.

Everything felt like it took so many more steps than necessary when he only had use of one hand. He set the glass down and grabbed the pill bottle, shaking two out onto the counter before setting the bottle back down. He swiped the pills up and tossed them into his mouth, holding them there for a moment as he grabbed the glass of whiskey. He took a large sip to wash the pills down. Once that was done, he took another sip for good measure before setting the glass back down.

Erin was watching the entire thing, chuckling to herself as she did. “Yea,” she said when Nestor set the glass back down, “I think that’s exactly how the doctors recommend you take those.” She ignored Nestor’s lack of a response as she reached across the counter for the bottle again. Making a big show of turning the bottle in her hand and reading the label, she said, “Right here, actually. Make sure to take with copious amounts of alcohol.”

Nestor shook his head at her as he drummed his fingers on the outside of his glass. He knew her well enough to know that whether or not he gave her an argument about it, she was going to keep talking anyway. Every day he wondered how she and Emily came from the same family. He and his brother had been different, sure, but nothing like the two of them.

Erin half-expected Nestor to tell her to go back to bed. Or, at the very least, simply walk away from her and out of the kitchen. It wasn’t as though he was chatty with her under the best circumstances, let alone a night like this. But still, he hadn’t left, hadn’t tried to send her away.

“So, what happened, anyway?” she asked, her voice so much quieter than it usually was.

He was so caught off-guard by how genuine she sounded when she asked that he almost gave her the answer. He opened his mouth to tell her, but stopped himself. Instead, he just shook his head. “Nothing.”

Erin sighed, shaking her head as she fought the urge to roll her eyes. “Yea, last time I ended up popping painkillers with my arm strapped down it was also because of nothing.”

She waited for him to have some sort of response, something passive-aggressive and dismissive all at once. But he was silent. The two of them stayed across from each other, silently staring at each other and waiting for the other to have something to say. If history was evidence to anything, it was that Erin was going to have something to say first. However, it seemed like she was determined to get him to speak up for once.

He knew that getting into any of it with her was going to do more harm than good. There was nothing that she could do about it, no help that she could offer. And if she was already paranoid about whoever was in the house, telling her about the threats they were dealing with outside the house on a regular basis wasn’t going to help ease any of her unrest.

Instead of offering her anything substantial, he asked, “Can you put the cap back on that?”

She watched as he nodded towards the pill bottle that was sitting in front of her. Her knee-jerk reaction was to be petty and tell him to do it himself. He saw it in her eyes that she didn’t want to make things easy for him if he wasn’t going to offer her any kind of answers. But the harshness in her eyes only lasted for a moment before it softened slightly and she put the cap back on for him. Her concession to that was the most she’d ever seemed to be like Emily in the entire time that Nestor had known her.

“Next time you gotta open it, you’re on your own,” she said as she slid it across the counter to him.

A tiny smirk pulled at the one end of his mouth, but he didn’t say anything, instead giving a short nod of acknowledgment. He stood there waiting, assuming from her tone and her comment that she was going to go back to bed. Instead of leaving him to his own devices, Erin walked around to the other side of the island and grabbed her own glass. Nestor watched her intently, wondering what she was going to grab for herself. Much to his surprise, she reached for the same bottle that he had only a short while before.

She poured herself a smaller portion than Nestor had poured for himself. Once she put the cap back on, she stepped back to the island, her and Nestor now both on the same side. Setting her glass out of harm’s way, she hoisted herself up so that she was sitting on the edge of the counter, legs dangling over the edge of it. Nestor didn’t comment on it or try to move away from her. He watched as she grabbed her cup and took a sip, cringing slightly as it went down.

The silence between them was welcome, comfortable even. It wasn’t often that the two of them found themselves in each other’s company with no one else around. Typically wherever Nestor was, Miguel or Emily wasn’t far behind. There were a million questions that Erin wanted to ask since it was just the two of them for once, but she was smart enough to know that she wouldn’t get the answers to any of them.

“Future reference,” she finally broke the silence as she toyed with the glass in her hands, “the wine is way better.”

It was the first time Erin had ever heard Nestor let out anything reminiscent of a laugh or a chuckle. She chalked it up to the painkillers finally starting to kick in. He nodded in acknowledgment as he picked up his glass and brought it back to his lips, taking another sip without a word.

[machihunnicutt]

[falls out of baby it's you finale] Hello I'm Here To Ask You To Please Talk Some About The Extended Knight Metaphor I'm Feeling Super Normal About ("There he was, a knight in armor, lingering at the front steps, haunted by closed doors.") PLUS ⭐ a selection of your choice (if you'd like!!!)

YEAH OF COURSE ! long thoughts under the cut

I think BJ as The Knight works in a lot of ways for his thoughts/feelings/position throughout baby it's you. In flashbacks, I see him presenting this very protective/loyal/rigid/chivalrous persona to mask his insecurities/discomfort he feels trying to fit himself into straight manhood (and fatherhood & marriage). For example, with Peg (in chapter 4):

Alone together. The phrase rattled around in his head. He’d been alone so long that he didn’t know how else to be. Every time he reached for her he felt selfish. He felt like he’d grafted himself to her, or that they were passing through each other. He felt like he wasn’t supposed to feel so intensely. He felt like the words husband and wife should come more easily. He felt like he could sit there on the church steps for hours, rubbing her feet. “Should I carry your shoes? Or are you going to put them back on?” he said. She laughed, chin dipping. “Carry them. Just don’t step on my toes,” she said.

The attachment/devotion/service & the intensity of his feelings despite his lack of attraction to her...carrying her shoes, idk. BJ's internal conflicts, for me, always come back to the tension between who he is, who he feels he should be, and how he can reconcile & articulate his identity after repressing everything for so long. He's always coming back to these questions of duty & the roles he plays in other peoples' lives.

And, where you point it out in chapter 12:

“Do you let anything get under there?” Hawkeye muttered. “Under my armor?” BJ said, eyebrows raising. He could play along. He was good at it. He was better at it with Hawkeye than with anyone.  “I wouldn’t be much of a knight if I did, would I?” BJ said. “You’re no knight,” Hawkeye said, yawning. “You wound me,” BJ said, letting the smile win over his face.  “See, if you were a knight, it would take more to wound you. They’re stoic,” Hawkeye said. “I’m stoic. People tell me I’m very stoic,” BJ said, though his tone contradicted his point. “Hmm,” Hawkeye said.

I think it's significant that Hawkeye immediately sees through BJ as The Knight, and more so that he's interested in what's under the armor/persona. For Hawk, it's not about what BJ does for him...he loves BJ for who he is. (He's warm, under all the armor!! He's easily wounded!!)

BJ in 1970 is certainly in a less precarious position than he is in the 40s/50s, but I think he still plays The Knight. Particularly in the scenes in Le Cafe, he's always got an eye on Hawk (protecting him from his own actions? protecting him from Trapper? serving him by fulfilling all his wishes wrt the wedding??) Like Hawk describes in this bit in chapter 10:

Hawkeye thought about what Beej said at the bar. He thought about his hand on his waist, steadying him, holding him too tight. He thought about the space he’d given. He thought about BJ hanging in the margins: on the couch in the living room with a magazine, pretending not to eavesdrop, watching Hawk’s face in the bar, keeping track of Trapper’s comments at dinner, pacing, hiding his hands, talking a minute to cool off, managing his temper like he managed difficult surgical cases. It was like there was an invisible boundary between him and Beej. BJ always knew where the lines were, and had been trying, ardently, not to cross them.

I wanted it to take a while for Hawk to notice the way BJ positions himself the whole Vegas trip (and how hard it's been for him). BJ The Knight is always on the outside. He's got a job to do. He can't get too close. He can't get inside. He's got to be stoic.

AND, I wanted to use Knighthood to connect BJ & Erin. They really don't get much time together at all in baby it's you, but I wanted there to still be clear similarities in their thought patterns. She takes after him in good ways and in bad ways. They're both very hard on themselves. They both wrestle with these questions of belonging & duty & bravery & purpose. In chapter 11:

Erin had never gotten so much sun in her life. The summer’s activities had bleached her hair and tanned her arms. She’d be unrecognizable at Berkeley, come fall, she realized. It was a thought that made her insides squirm. It was like she’d been picking at a scab all summer, to get to the fresh, new, pink skin underneath. She was about to cast off this wild, reckless, ragtag version of herself. They couldn’t stay kids forever. “Why are you so afraid of what Fern thinks?” Benny said. “Don’t say it like that. It’s not as if I…well, it isn’t like I’m afraid,” Erin said. “It sounds like you are,” Benny said. “Well, I’m not,” Erin said, sharply. 

I like this idea of the dual purpose of armor for Erin & BJ: protecting/serving/being brave for others while simultaneously shielding/masking/hiding themselves from the judgement of others. Erin's picking at the mask/armor like a scab...she's got to cast it off in order to be herself, but letting other people under the armor comes at a price.

And, like Hawk, Benny sees through the persona (while at the same time understanding its function for Erin). In chapter 12:

“I’ve been acting like it’s us against the world. I never stopped to think about how that weighs on you,” Benny said. Erin sat up.  “You were right, though. I want to be the kind of person that you think I am,” Erin said. “You are,” Benny said. He shook his head vigorously. “There’s no doubt in my mind that you are.”

Benny believes Erin is as brave as she pretends to be. He still knows she's pretending.

Also...motorcycle/bike/noble steed??? The Hunnicutts are Knight coded.

[kindheartedgummybears]

Small(?) update on the Du'met!Erin au.

ok, so it's been what? a month since TDiM community chose the Du'met and Erin role/character swap AU and the bad news is: No, I haven't started writing it yet(disappointing I know and I am so sorry I have never written anything before so I will be slow with it :') BUUUT I do have some information about it! the brain has been storming the past month!

Ok, so first of all I would like to clear up some things before people start to question it.

1(and probably the most important at least imo): With Erin and Hector being swapped I would like to clear up that Jamie and Hector are NOT LOVE INTERESTS!!!! They are BFFs instead and Jamie's room scene will be slightly different and not at all romantic(at least between Jamie and Hector). And now that I'm writing that I feel like that was probably obvious since I did put it in a JERIN fic poll but JUST IN CASE.

2: The whole Manny Sherman and Hector being in the FBI thing will be sliiiightly different. Without giving too much away, Hector was still in the FBI and worked on the Sherman case but was able to catch himself before Sherman brainwashed him basically and resigned shortly after. However~ This time he had a partner investigating the Sherman case with him and let's just say maybe taking the tapes home with you (illegally btw) and stuffing them in your attic for someone to possibly find later on wasn't a good idea...

3: Erin still has asthma. That doesn't change and it actually has plot relevance.

So yeah! that's the "clear ups" if you can call them that?

now, time for plot stuff

ok so basically, for plot reasons I am swapping Charlie and Jamie's placements in the story, and by that I mean, Jamie falls down the trap door instead of Charlie in the freezer and she goes through most of the stuff he goes through in the actual game and vice versa with Charlie and what Jamie goes through, and I am debating if I should do the same with Mark and Kate. There's no reason to do that really, but I think it would be fun!

I am also now realizing(not really now I have thought about it for like 2 weeks) that with position swaps also means death swaps👀👀👀👀

also just some fun facts about this au ig?:

Hector and Kate PTSD twins😍✌️

Erin and Hector do maintain their canon personality to an extent with some parts of their personality obviously swapped.

Yes, Erin having asthma does take a blow on the crew's egos.

---- Oh! and if I may give you a littlleeee sneak peek of what is to come, without any context:

OMFG ERIN HOW ARE YOU NOT DEAD HALF OF YOUR FACE IS LITERALLY MANGLED AND BARELY HANGING ON TO YOUR SKULL-

:)

Also side note: I have been debating if I should do little one-shots for all of my Jerin AUs to give people a basic kind of plot or story for all of them. Obviously, I'm going to make and finish the Du'met!Erin au first before going into any of my other AUs for them. Some of them (HoA AU and Ultimatum) won't be getting one-shots since they are one-shots in and of themselves, but my other AUs(Like the 1980s murder wives, Deadpool x Spiderman, and my many(by many I mean 4 XD) werewolf AUs. Oh! And by the way, I forgot to mention that the Vampire x Werewolf AU is also an 1800s AU I know I should have included that in the poll but I completely forgot :')) That have actual storylines and plots to them that would be more than a simple one-shot. Like for the murder wives, I have an idea for a one-shot that is kind of like a prequel to the actual fic.

Please let me know if you'd like for me to make little one-shots for them first! Also sorry if this is a hard read grammar is not a very good skill of mine and I'm from the South so my English is kind of broken to begin with XD