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quinzzelx · 1 year ago

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Shadows and Starlight

Azriel x Fem!Reader

Summary: You and Mor return from a long mission on the Continent. Nine Months have passed since your departure and you couldn't wait to reunite with your best friend, a best friend you'd had a crush on for centuries. Only that Azriel wasn't there when you returned home. He would only return on Starfall.

Part 02

Word count: 4.5K

Warnings: A little spice at the end there. But honestly just a little! Otherwise Fluff, Reader being part of the IC!! I have not proof-read it yet.

A/N: Well, hello there! I have never posted writing for this Fandom before, so I truly hope it is enjoyable and finds it's people. Overall, I haven't really been posting on this blog in ages and felt inspired. I would love to write a second part if this is received well. This isn't proofread yet, I will do that eventually, so I apologize for possible errors. Please let me know what you think and feel free to drop into my inbox.

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The night was cool and crisp as you and Mor made your way through the streets of Velaris, the city lights casting a warm glow over the cobblestone streets. Returning to Velaris had been a relief, the mission Rhys had sent you on should have taken no longer than six weeks, lastly spanning nine months that felt like an eternity. What should have been a rather quick trip to the Continent turned out to be far more complicated than anticipated. You were supposed to look into the whereabouts of a magical artifact while Mor should keep up her work as emissary. What you did not take into account whatsoever was the uprising conflict between two of their biggest noble houses, which complicated things. Trust was not easy to come by. Diplomats and Mediators by day and treasure hunters by night. Of course, you also had plenty of time to bask in the sunlight, smothering heat seeping into the marrow of your bones. Even with Mor by your side, there had been moments of homesickness that gnawed at your heart, a longing for the familiar comforts of home that seemed to grow with each passing day.

But now, as you made your way through the streets of Velaris, you couldn't help but feel a sense of relief wash over you. The city was alive with the buzz of activity, its streets bustling with life and energy. Even the stars seemed to shine and twinkle brighter than usually, welcoming you back. It was good to be home. As you stepped into the grand foyer of the House of Wind, you felt a rush of nostalgia wash over you. Albite nine months were nothing for Fae, you had missed this. The scent of fresh bread filled the air, no doubt made by Elain. A soft smile tugged at the corner of your lips at the familiarity, your shoulders relaxing slightly.

Mor wasted no time in making herself comfortable, stomping off to the sitting room and throwing herself onto the chaise with a dramatic sigh. You couldn't help but chuckle at her antics. As she settled into the plush pillows, you perched yourself on the edge of the nearby armchair, your gaze drifting to the flickering flames in the hearth. The crackling fire cast dancing shadows across the room, its warmth a comforting embrace after the long journey home. "So, what is on your mind?" Mor's voice broke through the silence, her eyes fluttering open as she regarded you with a curious expression. You let out a soft sigh, your thoughts drifting back to the tribulations of your time overseas. "It was... intense," you replied, voice tinged with a hint of weariness. "So much happened.” You groaned then. “Cauldron boil me, I really don’t want to fill out that mission report…” Mor nodded in understanding, a sympathetic smile playing on her lips. "I can imagine, me neither" she said, her tone filled with empathy. "But Rhys will not push us. He probably missed us as much as we missed him. It’s been a while after all.”

You smiled gratefully at her words, a sense of relief washing over you. "Yeah, you're right," you agreed, your spirits lifting at the thought of being back in Velaris once more. Back home. You fell into a comfortable silence then, the crackling fire the only sound echoing in the room. But beneath the surface, you felt a restlessness stirring within yourself—a longing to see him, to feel the familiar comfort of his presence. Obviously you missed the entirety of your family wholly. Definitely not thinking about one person more than the others. At least that is what you told yourself.

"I'm going to check on Az," you said suddenly, your voice breaking the silence. "I haven't seen him in a while…" Mor raised an eyebrow inquisitively, a knowing smile playing on her lips. "Really now? Here I thought we saw none of them in a while." she teased, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "Missing someone, are we?" You felt a blush creeping into your cheeks at Mor's teasing tone, but you brushed it off with a playful roll of your eyes. "Don't be ridiculous," you retorted, though the fluttering in your chest betrayed your true feelings. With a playful wink, Mor waved you off, her attention already drifting back to the warmth of the fire. "Go on then," she said, her voice soft but encouraging. "I'll be here when you get back." And with that, you rose from your seat and made your way to Azriel's room, your heart fluttering with anticipation at the thought of seeing him again after so long. With a sense of anticipation bubbling in your chest, you picked up your pace subconsciously, your steps quick and eager. You had grown so close over the years, so comfortable in each other's company, that knocking on doors had become a formality you rarely bothered with anymore- and even if you usually still found yourself knocking from time to time, you just were too excited.

But as you pushed open the door to Azriel's room, your heart sank at the sight of the empty space before you. The room was quiet and still, save for the faint scent of cedar that lingered in the air—a stark reminder of the Male you had missed so much. Disappointment tugged at your heart as you surveyed the deserted room, your lips curling into a soft frown. It was Starfall in just a few days, you really thought, hoped, he’d be here when you returned. Before you could dwell on your thoughts any longer, a familiar voice broke through the silence, startling you. "So, Y/N, are you finally going to confess your undying love for my brother?" he quipped, his tone laced with amusement. You rolled your eyes, but a smile tugged at the corners of your lips now as you threw yourself into Cassian's awaiting arms. You had missed him, missed all of them, but the absence of Azriel weighed heavily on your heart somehow. After you pull away from your embrace, Cassian offers you a kind smile, his eyes warm with understanding.

"Hey, just so you know, Az has been on a mission for the past few days," The tall Illyrian says gently, his tone filled with reassurance. "But he should be back before Starfall." You feel a surge of relief at the news, your heart fluttering with anticipation at the thought of seeing Azriel again. You waited nine months, you could wait a few more days. "Thank you, Cass," you says sincerely, gratitude shining in your eyes. Then the tall male shifts on his foot, raising an eyebrow in mock offense, a mischievous glint dancing in his eyes. "Hey now, Y/N, I hope you're not just excited to see Az," he says with a dramatic sigh, placing a hand over his heart in mock hurt. "I mean, I know I'm not as brooding and mysterious as our Shadowsinger, but a little appreciation for your favorite warrior wouldn't hurt." You roll your eyes again with a grin, shaking your head at Cassian's antics. "Oh, please, Cass. You know you're my second favorite warrior," you quip, your tone teasing as you give him a playful shove. You share a moment of laughter before Cassian's expression turns more serious, his gaze softening as he looks at you with genuine concern. "How was the mission? Everything okay?"

Nodding, your smile faltering slightly as you recall the challenges you faced overseas. "It was... intense, to say the least. But we made it back in one piece, thanks to Mor and her quick thinking."

Cassian nods in understanding, his expression reflecting his relief. "Well, I'm glad you're both safe. We'll have to celebrate your return properly, once you've had a chance to rest." Humming you find yourself relaxing into the familiar warmth of his company. You nod in agreement then. “Yeah, Rhys always has something up his sleeve for Starfall,” you say, voice tinged with anticipation. “I can only imagine what he has planned for this year.” Both of you fall into comfortable silence for a moment. Only when a yawn claws itself up your throat and past your lips does Cassian speak again. “Does Rhys know you’re back?” His gaze is gentle in the way he looks at you, it was easy to tell that the oaf missed you just as much.

Stretching your tired muscles slightly, you nod hastily. "Yeah, you should have seen his face when he came barging into the kitchen and saw us drink tea with Feyre." A soft chuckle leaves him then, and you share a knowing grin as you both recall similar situations.

Making your way down the hall, you find Mor fast asleep on the chaise lounge in the sitting room, her features relaxed in slumber. Cassian retrieves a soft blanket from the nearby cupboard and gently drapes it over Mor's sleeping form, his movements gentle and caring.

You settle into the chairs nearby, he joins you, and the two of you engage in light conversation, catching up on the latest developments with Nesta and the Valkyrie. You share stories and anecdotes, laughter punctuating the quiet of the night as you relish in each other's company. Eventually, exhaustion catches up with you, and you bid Cassian goodnight before retreating to your own chambers for some much-needed rest.

As you settle into bed, your mind can't help but wander towards Azriel. Despite the exhaustion weighing heavy on your limbs, thoughts of him linger at the forefront of your mind, like whispers in the darkness. You can't help but wonder how he's been faring on his mission, what trials and tribulations he's faced in your absence. A pang of guilt tugs at your heart as you realize that you hadn't even sent word of your return, leaving him in the dark about your whereabouts. Closing your eyes, you try to push aside the worry and uncertainty that gnaws at your thoughts, focusing instead on the memory of his warm smile and steady presence. You find solace in the thought of seeing him again, of being reunited with the friend who has always been a steady anchor in your life. With a soft sigh, you let the rhythmic sound of your breathing lull you into a state of calm, allowing yourself to drift into a restless sleep filled with dreams of starlit skies and whispered promises. And as sleep claims you, you hold onto the hope that tomorrow will bring with it the long-awaited reunion you've been yearning for.

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The next days pass in a blur, the absence of Azriel weighing heavily on your heart despite the moments of joy spent with your family. You find solace in the familiar routines of daily life, in the laughter and chatter of your loved ones gathered together in the warmth of the House of Wind.

Mornings are filled with shared meals and lively conversation, the scent of freshly brewed coffee mingling with the aroma of freshly baked pastries. On the day before Starfall you find yourself amidst the hustle and bustle of daily life in Velaris, as you join Feyre, Mor, and Nesta for a day of dress shopping. The air is filled with the sweet scent of blooming flowers and the tantalizing aroma of freshly baked goods, adding to the festive atmosphere of the day.

As you weave through the throngs of people, your eyes alight on a quaint boutique you’re all too familiar with, nestled between two bustling shops. Its windows are adorned with elegant gowns in every shade of the rainbow, their silken fabrics shimmering in the sunlight.

With a shared glance and a knowing smile, you make your way inside, greeted by the tinkling of bells and the warm smile of the shopkeeper. The interior of the boutique is a veritable treasure trove of fashion, with racks of dresses in every style and design imaginable. As you browse through the racks, your eyes are drawn to a stunning gown in a shade of deep midnight blue, its bodice adorned with delicate lace and sparkling sequins. It catches the light in such a way that it seems to shimmer and dance with every movement, and you can't help but feel drawn to it.

Feyre picks up a flowing gown in a shade of pale lavender, holding it up against herself with a thoughtful expression. "What do you think?" she asks, turning to you and the others for their opinion. Mor nods approvingly, her eyes lighting up with excitement. "It's lovely, Feyre. You would look stunning in that." Nesta, ever the pragmatist, arches an eyebrow skeptically. "It's a bit too... ethereal for my taste," she remarks dryly. "But if it makes you happy, then go for it." You can't help but chuckle at Nesta's blunt honesty, knowing that she speaks from a place of genuine concern for her sister's happiness. "I think it's beautiful, Feyre," you offer, a warm smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "But ultimately, it's up to you." Feyre returns your smile gratefully, her eyes sparkling with gratitude. "Thank you, Y/N," she says softly, her voice filled with warmth. "I think I'll give it a try." As Feyre disappears into the dressing room to try on the gown, Mor turns to you with a glint in her eyes. "So, Y/N, have you found anything that catches your eye?" she asks, her tone teasing.

You shrug nonchalantly, though your heart races at the thought of the dress you had spotted earlier. "Maybe," you reply coyly, a playful smile playing at your lips. "There was one that caught my attention." Nesta raises an eyebrow curiously, her gaze sharpening with interest. "Oh? And what does it look like?" she inquires, her tone betraying her curiosity.

You hesitate for a moment, your cheeks flushing slightly as you recall the details of the dress. "It's... um, it's a deep midnight blue," you begin, your voice trailing off as you struggle to find the right words to describe it.

Mor's eyes light up with mischief as she interrupts, a knowing smirk on her lips. "Sounds like something a certain Shadowsinger would most definitely like," she quips, her voice filled with amusement. You feel your cheeks grow even warmer at Mor's teasing remark, knowing that there is some truth to her words. "Maybe," you mumble, unable to hide the smile that tugs at the corners of your lips.

Before the conversation can continue further, Feyre emerges from the dressing room, the lavender gown flowing around her in a cascade of ethereal beauty. You gasp in awe at the sight of her, your heart swelling with pride and admiration.

"Feyre, you look incredible," you exclaim, your voice filled with genuine awe. "That dress was made for you." Feyre blushes at the compliment, her smile radiant as she twirls in front of the mirror. "Thank you, Y/N" she says warmly, her eyes shining with happiness. "I think I've found my dress." As Feyre twirls in front of the mirror, her radiant smile lighting up the room, Mor and Nesta exchange knowing glances before turning their attention to you.

"Well, Y/N, it's your turn now," Mor says with a playful grin, her eyes sparkling again. "You can't just talk about that mysterious midnight blue dress and not show it to us."

Nesta nods in agreement, her expression curious. "Yes, I'm quite intrigued to see this dress that has caught your eye," she adds, a hint of amusement in her voice. With a nod of determination, you make your way to the dressing room, the anticipation building with each step.

As you slip into the dress, you can't help but marvel at how perfectly it fits, clinging to your curves in all the right places. The fabric is soft against your skin, the deep midnight blue hue shimmering in the light, casting an enchanting glow around you. The bodice of the dress is adorned with delicate lace, the intricate patterns weaving a spellbinding tapestry across your skin. The neckline plunges low, revealing a tantalizing glimpse of skin, while the back dips into a daring V, leaving just enough to the imagination. You take a deep breath, steeling yourself for the reactions of your companions, before stepping out of the dressing room to reveal yourself to them.

Feyre gasps in awe as she lays eyes on you, her expression filled with admiration. "Wow, Y/N, you look absolutely stunning," she exclaims, her voice filled with genuine wonder.

Mor and Nesta nod in agreement, their eyes wide with astonishment. "That dress was made for you," Mor adds. As you gaze at your reflection in the mirror, a surge of confidence courses through you. It's been so long since you've worn anything other than fighting leathers, and the sensation of silk against your skin is a welcome change. You feel sexy, beautiful, and alive in a way that you haven't in months, the weight of responsibility and duty momentarily lifted from your shoulders. For the first time in what feels like forever, you allow yourself to revel in the simple pleasure of feeling feminine and desirable.

But amidst the rush of excitement and adrenaline, there's a nagging voice in the back of your mind, whispering of doubts and insecurities. What will Azriel think when he sees you like this? Will he be pleased, impressed, or will he merely see you as the same old friend he's always known? You bite your bottom lip nervously at the thought, a flush rising to your cheeks as you imagine his reaction. But deep down, beneath the layers of uncertainty and self-doubt, there's a spark of hope flickering within you, a glimmer of possibility that maybe, just maybe, he'll see you in a new light. That maybe the feelings you had harbored for him for the past two centuries weren’t one-sided.

With a determined shake of your head, you banish the doubts from your mind, focusing instead on the here and now. Tonight, you'll revel in the joy of the moment, surrounded by friends who love and support you unconditionally. And tomorrow, well, tomorrow is another day. "I must say, I almost forgot you had it in you to clean up so nicely."

You roll your eyes playfully at Mor's teasing remark, unable to suppress a laugh at her antics. "Oh, please, Mor," you quip, your tone laced with mock indignation. "You act as if I've been wearing armor for the past century." Feyre chuckles, her eyes dancing with mirth. "Well, you certainly seem to be enjoying yourself in that dress," she remarks with a knowing smile.

Nesta, ever the pragmatist, raises an eyebrow skeptically. "Yes, but can you actually afford it?" she asks dryly, her tone tinged with amusement. You feign offense at Nesta's remark "Of course I can afford it, Nesta," you reply with a playful smirk. "I'll just put it on Rhysand's tab."

The group erupts into laughter at your comment. With a final twirl in front of the mirror, you turn to the shopkeeper with a grin. "I'll take it," you declare confidently, a sense of satisfaction washing over you as you make your purchase. "And put it on Rhysand's tab, of course."

The shopkeeper chuckles at your remark, nodding in agreement as she wraps the dress in delicate tissue paper. "Very well, Miss Y/N" she says with a smile. "I'll be sure to send the bill to the High Lord's estate."

With your new dress in hand and your spirits lifted, you bid farewell to the boutique and make your way back into the bustling streets of Velaris.

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Azriel strolls through the lush gardens of Tarquin's estate, the relentless heat of the Summer Court bearing down on him with an intensity that he finds almost suffocating. Sweat beads on his brow, trickling down his temples as he walks, and he can't help but curse the relentless sun that beats down from above, as if intent on draining him of every last ounce of energy.

He sighs heavily as he reflects on his current predicament, his thoughts drifting to the far-off lands of his homeland where snow, cold, and winter reign supreme. The sweltering heat of the Summer Court is a stark contrast to the familiar chill of the Night Court, and Azriel can't help but wonder if it's possible that he's somehow managed to burn his wings in the sun. But such thoughts are quickly pushed aside as he reminds himself of the task at hand. Everything had gone well with his meeting with Tarquin, and now he simply longs to retire to his chambers and escape the oppressive heat for a few precious hours of rest.

As he continues on his way, Azriel can't help but think about the upcoming Starfall celebration. Tomorrow would mark the end of his short mission in the Summer Court, and he couldn't wait to return home to Velaris. The thought of spending Starfall without Y/N weighs heavily on his mind, and he can't help but feel a pang of longing in his chest at the prospect. Suddenly, a voice breaks through his thoughts, a familiar presence intruding upon his mind with the ease of a whisper on the wind. It's Rhys, reaching out to him.

"Enjoying the summer heat, brother?" Rhys's voice echoes in his mind, a hint of amusement lacing his words. "Remember, not all of us are fortunate enough to have wings to shield us from the sun's rays."

Azriel can't help but snort at Rhys's teasing, the sound reverberating silently within his own mind. "I'd take a blizzard over this heat any day," he replies, his tone dry with sarcasm. "At least in the Winter Court, I wouldn't feel like I'm about to melt into a puddle."

Rhys's laughter fills his mind. "Ah, but where's the fun in that?" he quips "Besides, think of it as a challenge. A test of endurance, if you will."

Azriel shakes his head incredulously at his brother's words, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips despite himself. "You would find amusement in my suffering, wouldn't you?" he retorts. But Rhys's next words carry a weight of sincerity that catches Azriel off guard. "In all seriousness, Az, you'll be home before you know it," He assures him, his voice filled with warmth and encouragement. "Starfall is just around the corner, and there are loved ones eagerly awaiting your return."

There's a cryptic hint in Rhys's words, a subtle suggestion that Azriel can't quite decipher. He furrows his brows in confusion, his mind racing as he tries to make sense of his brother's words. After all, he's only been gone for a week. Rhys's voice fades from Azriel's mind, leaving him with a sense of calm and reassurance. "Until tomorrow, brother," he murmurs silently.

Azriel retreats for the night, the weight of exhaustion heavy on his shoulders. As he settles into his chambers, a sense of relief washes over him at the thought of returning home tomorrow.

His mind wanders to how he'll spend his first day back in Velaris, imagining the familiar streets and faces that he's missed so dearly the past week. But amidst the anticipation, there's a nagging sense of longing that tugs at his heart. Clasping his scarred hands together, Azriel reaches into the pocket of his bag and pulls out a crumpled piece of parchment. It's a letter from Y/N, the only way they've been able to stay in contact while she's been away on her mission.

He doesn't know why he took the letter with him, but holding it in his hands brings a sense of serenity and comfort. Even though their last exchanged letters had been about a month ago, knowing that Y/N is safe and well brings him a measure of peace.

With a sigh, Azriel unfolds the parchment and reads over her words once more, the familiar handwriting bringing a smile to his lips. He makes a silent promise to himself to write to her as soon as he gets home. But now, as he prepares to return home for the celebration, he can't help but feel a pang of sadness at the thought of Y/N missing out. He wonders what she might be doing on Starfall, if she's found a way to make the most of the day despite being apart from their shared family.

Azriel knew how she hadn’t missed a single Starfall since… The heavy feeling of subdued rage settles in the pits of his stomach at the thought of what she endured during those dark years under the Mountain. He wishes he could have been there to protect her, to shield her from the horrors of their captivity.

His thoughts drift to a darker memory then, one that haunts him even now. He remembers her broken body, her spirit shattered and her light dimmed, when she and Rhys returned after Feyre broke the curse. The sight of her lying there, broken and bruised, fills him with a sense of sorrow and rage unlike anything he's ever known. He can still feel the weight of her pain, the echoes of her suffering lingering in the recesses of his mind. In that moment, all he wanted was to take her pain away, to hold her close and mend her broken spirit. Azriel thinks of the first Starfall after they returned from under the mountain, how Y/N had opened up about her grief and trauma for the first time. He can still see the sadness in her eyes, the weight of her pain etched into every line of her face. It was a stark contrast to the joyous celebration unfolding around them, a reminder of the darkness that still lingered. From that day forward, Y/N never missed a single Starfall celebration.

As Azriel drifts off to sleep, frustration gnaws at his insides like a relentless beast. Despite his best efforts to push Y/N from his mind, she lingers there like a haunting specter, her presence weaving through his thoughts and dreams with an undeniable persistence. Rubbing his hand over his face in a futile attempt to banish the memories, Azriel can't help but feel a sense of shame at the intensity of his longing for her. He prides himself on his control, on his ability to keep his emotions in check, but she has a way of unraveling him like no one else.

And then there are the dreams - vivid and all-consuming, they play out like scenes from a forbidden fantasy, leaving Azriel feeling both exhilarated and guilty in their wake. They were friends. Just friends. Best friends, actually. And even though this urge was nothing completely unfamiliar, these thoughts had overtaken him completely as soon as she left.

Again his mind wandered. Asking himself how her lips would feel clashing against his, how she would wrap her arms around his neck, having to crane her neck for a kiss due to their height difference. What she would taste like, what sounds he could coax out of her. How those exact plush lips would feel wrapped around his cock.- A growl leaves him through clenched teeth. His eyebrows pinched as he squeezes his eyes shut, palming himself through his briefs. Confusion etched on his beautiful face then, because he just could not understand. She was his best friend, so why could he not stop thinking about her like this? Thus, so very determined, he decided that this had to change, while simultaneously fisting his heavy cock in one of his hands. "Fuck"

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I hope you enjoyed this little piece of my imagination. Feedback is always welcome and appreciated! Please let me know if you'd like a part 2 :)

#acotar #azriel spymaster #azriel #azriel shadowsinger #azriel x reader #azriel acotar #azriel smut #azriel fluff #fem reader #x reader #imagine #bat boys

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nell0-0 · 14 days ago

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Hummmmmmmmm

I finally feel like drawing again (so badly) but I'm busy and tired lately, don't wanna think too much about it, only draw, so...

Art requests closed*

Accepted:

Linked Universe (LU).

Legend of Zelda (LoZ).

Pokemon Legends Arceus (PLA).

Not accepted:

OCs: depends but don't count on me accepting it.

Other fandoms: an exception will be made for Pokemon black/white and/or submas stuff.

Only sketches/doodles so don't expect fully finished drawings.

Feel free to drop them as asks in my inbox or as replies in this post (requests in reblog tags won't count). For the requests, please add the fandom before and then the actual request like this:

[Art request: LU] insert request here

Otherwise, I'll probably ignore it. My bad.

*Edit: thanks to everyone who respected the format ^^. Requests are closed now so I won't reply/will delete the ones that come in from now on (aka late). Please be patient while I work on your request, and once again, thanks! 🧡

#talk tag #edit: okay. got more than 20 so let's keep it at that #art requests closed

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angelwishess · 1 month ago

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【 ❝ 𝐓𝐖𝐒𝐓 𝐎𝐂 𝐀𝐬𝐤 𝐆𝐚𝐦𝐞 ❞ 】

Status: OPEN ♡ˊˎ-

‧₊˚ .𖥔 ˖ ‧₊˚ .𖥔 ˖ ‧₊˚ .𖥔 ˖ ‧₊˚ .𖥔 ˖ ‧₊˚ .𖥔 ˖ ‧₊˚ .𖥔 ˖ ‧₊˚ .𖥔 ˖ ‧₊˚ .𖥔

‧₊ ౨ৎ 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐀𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥.ᐟ

‧₊ ౨ৎ 𓂃 Hi hi !! I'm Angel! I'm 15 years old, and i'm Filipino!Though, I'm not that good at Tagalog… I’m Demiromantic and Asexual !! ૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა ♡ ‧₊˚

My timezone is GMT +4, and I come home late after school a lot, so from monday-thursday, I might be more inactive.

Please don't feel shy to interact! I love LOVE interacting with people, and my inbox is open to anyone !!! So please don't feel intimidated, I'm happy to talk to you about OCs, canon characters, or anything. Just keep in mind— I am very forgetful, and I can lose track of time easily. So I might forget to reply right away. Please know I’m not ignoring you!! I’m probably just doing something else and forgot to ໒꒰ྀིっ⸝⸝⸝ ꒱ྀི১!!

Just so you know, this is an Oc × Canon account! I'll mostly post about my TWST Ocs and their ships, my main one being Floyra (Floyd x Kyra!). So, if you aren't into that, thats completely fine! We all have our own opinions, and I completely understand. But please, stay kind and respectful and don't use it as an excuse to attack me or any of my mutuals!

This isn't a very serious blog, just somewhere I can ramble about my interests, dump art and interact :3

‧₊˚ .𖥔 ˖ ‧₊˚ .𖥔 ˖ ‧₊˚ .𖥔 ˖ ‧₊˚ .𖥔 ˖ ‧₊˚ .𖥔 ˖ ‧₊˚ .𖥔 ˖ ‧₊˚ .𖥔 ˖ ‧₊˚ .𖥔

‧₊ ౨ৎ 𝐓𝐚𝐠 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 .ᐟ

General Tags .ᐟ

🎀! reblog — ୨୧ Literally just my reblogs or talking to my mooties, feel free to mute this !

🎀! bookmark — ୨୧ Anything I want to use for future refrence. Mostly only TWST assets (sprites, bgs, templates, ect.)

🎀! doodles — ୨୧ Lazy drawings of silly scenarios that come to mind, not anything serious teehee !

🎀! art — ୨୧ Art that I put a little more effort into, or art I’m more proud of!

🎀! fic — ୨୧ My writing! I only really write about my Oc x Canon ships, and I don't take requests.

🎀! yap — ୨୧ Literally me just yapping ... rambling... lollygagging ... Sometimes not even about TWST, mainly just me getting my thoughts out of my head but it varies on what i talk about lol (includes my yap sessions about my ocs but they aren’t exactly fics??)

OC tags .ᐟ

🎀🕊️! kyra — ୨୧ My main OC based on the Disney Princess Stereotype!

🎀🦈! floyra — ୨୧ Floyd x Kyra, my main ship for this blog!

🎀! fankids — ୨୧ …self explanatory. the fankids of my oc x canon ships…

‧₊ ౨ৎ 𝐎𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 .ᐟ

— ୨୧ Mairimashita! Iruma Kun!

— ୨୧ Obey me! Shall We Date?

— ୨୧ Pokemon !!!

— ୨୧ Epic: The Musical

— ୨୧ Journey To The West

— ୨୧ Mythology in general

Theres probably more that I don’t remember atm…

‧₊˚ .𖥔 ˖ ‧₊˚ .𖥔 ˖ ‧₊˚ .𖥔 ˖ ‧₊˚ .𖥔 ˖ ‧₊˚ .𖥔 ˖ ‧₊˚ .𖥔 ˖ ‧₊˚ .𖥔 ˖ ‧₊˚ .𖥔

last updated: April 28, 2025 — ᨳິ Angel

#Navigation #Pinned post #read byf!!#new intro post chat yippe #dies #ihhuhh

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smashorpassobjects2 · 9 months ago

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Introduction:

Inspired by, but not affiliated with, the OG @smash-or-pass-objects!

FAQ:

1. How do I request an object?

Currently via inbox, although I may add a google form at some point. All polls will be posted anonymously but feel free to claim your submissions in the notes.

2. What objects aren't allowed?

I think the other blog had some pretty good rule for this: no objects that depict a minor, nothing from H*rry P*tter for sure and potentially other fandoms depending on their content/creators, I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I also agree about avoiding products on the BDS boycott list for Palestine.

I also may choose not to include certain controversial objects at my discretion, particularly those involved in direct harm such as some military vehicles and equipment: I made a separate post about that here

3. Who can't interact?

This blog is 18+ so nobody under the age of 18. I can't stop you from voting in the polls but please don't reply/interact to the posts or follow this account. I will block any minors I see doing this.

Please search to see if your object has already been done! I'm still getting a LOT of submissions that have already had polls run for them!

Also apologies if I'm not able to immediately reply to messages but this is what my inbox typically looks like:

I run this account from a queue so might miss messages as I'm not on this account every day.

Thanks!

#objectum #pinned #important

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blueaprondelight · 1 year ago

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bedtime kisses - carmen berzatto au

in which valentine's day looks different when you and one of the girls are sick | fem/mom!reader, girl!dad carmy

Ever since you met Carmy, February 14th looked similar every year: a romantic dinner between the two, him spoiling you and you not being able to say no because it's Valentine's Day (so you spoil him in return and reply with a cheeky, "it's Valentine's!") probably with jewlery or flowers.

This year though, things would be different. Not only did they have two kids now, but Willow had brought home a stomach bug from daycare, and you were now dealing with the leftovers. But, thankfully he had Aurora to help him plan the perfect Valentine's Day. Taking her to the store for her blabbing opinion on flowers. She picked out yellow ones for her and Willow, and he picked out roses for you.

Then, it was back home to the kitchen. Preparing you some heart shaped foods that were known to help people feel better - toast, eggs, even some vegetables in a soup - all day. Being the parent who rarely got sick, he helped Willow make some hearts out of paper, and even got to help with making cards for you, himself and both girls.

He knocked on the door, carrying a tray of his heart veggie soup and water with some medicine, waiting for your soft "come in" that threatned to break his heart. He balanced the tray on one knee, pushing open the door. "Hi, you." You greet, smiling as Willow lays curled up near you.

"Hey. How are you feeling?" He asks softly. "Fine, for the most part. I'm sorry Valentine's Day got ruined." You frown as he shakes his head, setting the tray down and sitting beside you, being mindful of the sleeping toddler nearby. "Don't be, honey. All that matters is you and the girls are okay. I like how our Valentine's Day looks." He says, rubbing your leg.

You smile, kissing him on the cheek. "Thank you. You're the best father, and best husband." You say softly as you press your warm forehead against his. He hums, taking your hand and placing a kiss on the inside of your palm. "All thanks to you, sweetheart. Now, eat up and then I am spoiling you with gifts. And the girls, too." He says as you laugh quietly.

He only left when he heard Aurora crying over the baby monitor, scooping her up from her crib. "It's your first Valentine's Day, huh? Big day for you." He says in his baby talk voice. Aurora's been more attached to you lately, and you were wary of being near her and getting her sick. As long as he keeps his voice light, though, she doesn't notice you're gone.

So far, Valentine's Day as a family of four was a success.

˙ ✩°˖🌸 ⋆｡˚꩜

thank you for reading! please feel free to engage with this post by reblogging, commenting or sliding into my inbox to leave feedback! i appreciate all of you! check out my nav post here for more fanfics!

- mae:)

˚˖𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒✧˚.🎀༘⋆

mae’s loves:

@wabi-sabi1090

@harrysmatcha

@kpopgirlbtssvt

@urdreamgirl12

@readingwithsass

@angelicflower2020

@wadupppp

to join my taglist please reply to this post asking to be added!

#maeberzatto #mae writes!#mae writes: the bear #bedtime kisses au #carmen berzatto imagine #carmen berzatto x reader #the bear fx #the bear hulu #carmen berzatto fluff #carmen berzatto x you #carmen berzatto fanfiction

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tarotlexa · 2 months ago

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MY STANCE ON FS READINGS+ A POLL⋆. 𐙚 ˚

i decided to expand more on the inbox i received this morning concerning FS readings since i realized that many might not be able to read my response.

as i mentioned in the reply, i struggle with the idea of doing collective FS readings due to a few factors:

i don't believe that's what some people should be focusing on in the collective, especially young girls

i also believe that some of you are centering the need for attention/validation and so on in your life instead of focusing on yourself

i only do PAID fs readings since it's the only way i can make sure that i'll deliver the most specific and tailored reading to the querent. you have to understand that collective readings are meant for the collective so it's impossible to be entirely specific and unique in a reading that might be meant for 100/1000 different people

i personally post readings that i am interested in myself (more targeted towards self improvement, growth, curiosity and so on)

i am a bit disillusioned with the idea of love and relationships, sorry! people tend to put those on a pedestal until they realize there is so much more to life. start valuing yourself more. there's nothing wrong with being romantic but you have to realize that you could also start directing all of that love towards yourself rather than towards others.

there are already so so so many FS readings made by other talented tarot readers, feel free to check those out! (my mutual @tarotbyjam24 also does those and they're pretty detailed)

i don't really see the point in making the same type of content as others have done already, i prefer to offer my unique approach to tarot

who says you even have a FS? i'm not saying you're going to die alone but some of you tend to take certain things for granted because you have been taught to do so. not everyone of you is going to get married or be happily married (have you seen divorce rates?) and that's okay because it means you're destined for something else, possibly something better! also, not everyone who gets married gets a happily ever after

forgive me if this was chaotic, i am still quite feverish but i wanted to make sure that more people understood why i don't post FS readings.

with this being said, i am absolutely open to doing SP readings for the collective but i'd like some feedback or ideas on what to read about specifically (as i mentioned beforehand, i am a bit cynical when it comes to love etc so guide me pls lmao)

thank you for reading and for voting! pls share your thoughts or ideas on what you'd like to see in terms of SP readings and more

#tarot #tarotcommunity #tarotblr #tarot reading #free tarot #tarot cards #daily tarot #tarot witch #tarot community

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noturlondonboy · 3 months ago

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you request someone asks you about cg!bishova? well, i'm here to ask about it.

would autistic!yelena be an age regressor? how would that work in their dynamic? would it correlate to her red room trauma and how (eg. odd routines from the age she regresses to)? what about kate as a caregiver? how would she react to first finding out about it in the first place? how would yelena drop to a little headspace? how often does it happen and who does she feel comfortable doing it around?

(feel free not to reply to the questions btw! i just like to put them there as kind of a 'structure' for easier / more specific answers. i personally really dislike when i'm given a very vague ask with no details lol.)

- the one and only, 💜. i should start paying rent for living in your ask box...

I absolutely love that you gave me so many options in way of questions and topics to answer, it’s always harder to answer an ask when it’s too vague so I totally get you on that part!

I do want to preface this but reiterating that I’m very new to the agere and petre community. I’m still learning as I go about myself and how I fit into this new personal aspect I’ve discovered. I would absolutely love to hear anyone’s thoughts on agere!bishova and cg!Bishova in my inbox or in the comments and reblogs :)

To any littles reading, this is my big blog and I do post/reblog nsfw content, so please be mindful when navigating through it.

-yes, autistic!Yelena is an age regressor. (I have thoughts about petre!kate too, but that’s a different story. Someone feel free to bomb my inbox.)

-Yelena’s little age is 3-6, correlating to her time in Ohio before the Red Room

-age regression is not something Yelena is familiar with in any way. She has dropped into Little Space several times once free from the Red Room, but has never understood what it is or what’s happening and has frankly been a little freaked out by it.

-the first time she slips into Little Space while she and Kate are dating, she stays far away from her girlfriend out of panic and fear of Kate’s reaction. She still doesn’t understand what’s happening to her and has no idea how to express to Kate what she wants and needs and how she’s feeling.

-it takes a little bit for Kate to catch on that something is up, but once she realizes, she watches carefully to try to figure out what’s going on. They’re babysitting Wanda’s twins one night when Yelena slips without really realizing, the comforting weight of Kate’s arms around her shoulder, a toddler in her lap, and a Bluey episode on the screen all mixing together with the strain of the day to pull her under.

-Billy tries talking to her about the brightly colored characters on the screen, which is when Yelena realizes she’s slipped. Her initial response is the same panic, but Kate sees what’s happening and holds her close, rubbing her arm and whispering soothingly to her to help her calm down, and Yelena melts into her, cuddling Billy close like she might a stuffie (he’s all for it, he loves to snuggle. Auntie Lena is warm and comforting)

-she stays in little space the entire evening, and is still deep when Wanda and Natasha pick the boys up. Kate knows a little more about age regression and sort of puts two and two together, but decides to talk to Yelena about it later, and just takes care of her the rest of the night. Yelena doesn’t talk very much, she’s shy and embarrassed, but Kate is perceptive and they take a quiet bath before changing into soft, matching pjs and cuddling in bed with the dogs.

-it takes a couple conversations for Kate to land on age regression, and she helps Yelena do some research online, looking through posts and essays and researches done and made by others. It takes her a while to come around to the idea, and during that transition period, she tries not to feel little at all, but the stress just builds and builds until she gives in when Kate suggests helping her regress to feel better and have a safe space.

-Kate does a ton of her own research on how to be a caregiver, and connects with people in the community online to talk with others and learn more.

-it’s a slow progression, but eventually Yelena is almost 100% comfortable with her regression, and Kate is her safe place. She texts her the moment she feels herself slipping at any time.

-they got home one day from picking out little gear for Yelena at the store when Natasha comes to visit, and her initial reaction to it is to think that they’ve decided to have a baby or adopt

-it’s a bit of an awkward conversation, but one that Yelena does want to have. Kate gets everything put away while they talk, but once Yelena has explained and Natasha asks a few questions, all she does is tell Yelena that she always here for her. (She also re-threatens Kate and makes sure she’s taking care of her sister)

-I haven’t decided if Yelena calls Kate mama or papa while she’s regressed. Thoughts?

-Yelena age regressing does not negatively impact her relationship with Kate in any way. It takes Kate some time to learn how to be the caregiver that Yelena needs, but they learn together.

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teddybeartoji · 9 months ago

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∷ LOSERVILLE'S GUIDELINES & RULES

— THIS BLOG IS 18+!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! all minors will be blocked on sight. same goes for all ageless or blank blogs.

— this blog is firstly and most importantly a space space for ME. i welcome everybody with open arms but please keep in mind that alongside my writing, i will be posting a lot of selfshipping stuff and i will be talking about personal things.

— i write for GENDER NEUTRAL, MALE and FEM readers.

— i write both SFW and NSFW stuff.

— I AGE CHARACTERS UP. EVERYBODY WILL BE WRITTEN AS 21+!!!!!

— I DON'T TAKE REQUESTS! but i’m always down to listen to your ideas and thrists!!!!

— PLEASE DO NOT RUSH ME. i write when i want to write and what i want to write, please remember that i am just some guy and i do this for fun. i am also very slow with my replies and tend to hold onto asks, please don't take that as anything personal.

— PLEASE REFRAIN FROM ASKING FOR PART 2'S AND SUCH! it sucks the motivation right out of me, a nice little comment and praise is way more appreciated<3

— PLEASE DON'T USE MY INBOX AS A PLACE TO VENT. it's more than okay to tell me about your day but please do not get into anything heavier, i do not feel comfortable with that.

— DARK CONTENT IS VERY WELCOME HERE! that includes yandere, dub and noncon, stepcest/incest, blood, gore, somno etcetc, so if you see anything you don’t like, i suggest you to either block said tag ("cw blank" / "tw blank") or you know… leave :3

— the only BIG NO'S for me are VERY ROUGH/HATE SEX, HEAVY DEGRADATION and IMPACT PLAY (RECEIVING). i have nothing against these and i don't judge anybody who does like these, they simply are not for me.

— in nsfw works, THERE'S RARELY A CERTAIN DYNAMIC SET IN STONE. my readers tend to vary from sub to dom, mostly settling somewhere inbetween those two. the same goes for the characters i write about.

— THIS BLOG IS NOT SPOILER FREE! any newer leaks will be tagged with "blank leaks" and "blank spoilers" though.

— FEEL FREE TO TAG ME IN ANY ART OR ANY WRITINGS YOU THINK I'D LIKE! that includes your own aswell, but just bear in mind that it might take me a minute to get to it.

— IF YOU THINK THERE'S SOMETHING I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT, PLEASE COME AND TELL ME ABOUT IT, SO I CAN HANDLE THE SITUATION MYSELF. please do not harass people on the behalf of my name.

— PLEASE DON'T ASK ME TO BE MUTUALS WITH YOU! i follow who i follow.

— PLEASE DON'T SPAM LIKE (over like six posts in a row)! i am very glad that you like it here in loserville, i am just afraid of getting shadowbanned lmao

— DO NOT REPOST, COPY, TRANSLATE OR ALTER MY WORK!

— DO NOT FEED ANY OF MY WRITING TO AI! ai is not welcome here in any shape or form.

DNI: rascists, homophobes, transphobes, zionists, terfs, ableists, misogynists, sexists, pedophiles, xenophobes etc, ppl who hate on dark content and cannot seperate fiction and real life, ghost readers, and ppl who dislike readers with personalities and ppl who like to stir up discourse.

∷ LOSERVILLE'S OFFICIAL ANONS

— 🦉, 🦷, 🃏, 🐭, 🍓, ☀️, 🎭, 🥀, lesbian lover anon, thristy ahh anon, pink anon.

∷ LOSERVILLE'S LEGEND

#mayor of loserville- me talking or whatever

#mickeycore - get to know me through shitposts

#mickey’s magazine - pics hehe:3

#wtf mickey can write - all of my writings

#mickey is daydreaming - headcanons n stuff

#mickey vs gender - me struggling or whatever

#mickey can’t stop thinking - ideas n concepts n lore

#ceo of letterboxd says hello - me talking about movies

#friends!! - answered asks

#working at tumblr dot com - masterlists n such

#loserville's library - masterpieces u should read

#loserville's art gallery - masterpieces u should look at

#interview the mayor - ask games

#working at tumblr dot com #if you have any questions my inbox is always open

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souperbloom · 1 year ago

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the way things go. [A.I.]

title from the song the way things go by beebadoobee

ex boyfriend!ash

part 1 of 2 | random little post breakup angst.

a/n: i’ve never written anything like this so i thought i’d give it a try— let me know what you think :) there will be a part 2 but im still unsure of what direction to take this in so if you have any suggestions feel free to drop them in my inbox!

no major cws, just a brief mention of drinking & vibes. ☻

WORDCOUNT: 3.5k

⋆⭒˚｡⋆

You around?

Sent. 2:58am

An odd buzzing from beneath your pillow stirred you awake from the deepest sleep you’ve had in weeks. Your phone buzzed once and just like that, you were awake? Couldn’t be. It had to have been some sort of sixth sense.

Call me. I miss you.

Sent. 2:59am

The silk pillowcase cradled your cheek as the buzzing continued. Bzzt. Bzzt. Bzzt.

Baby, please.

Sent. 2:59am

I miss you.

Sent. 2:59am

So much.

Sent. 3:00am

It wasn’t long before the incessant buzzing frustrated you to the point of reaching beneath your pillow and yanking your phone out from under it. The harsh light made your eyes water and burn, but the notifications on the screen made them ache even more.

ASHTON: 5 New Messages.

You’ve gotta be fucking kidding.

What was once a fluttering feeling in your chest, seeing his name sprawled across the screen, turned abruptly into agony. You didn’t think it would be so soon— him reaching out to you. It had been a month, almost to the day, since you and Ashton had called your three and a half year relationship quits. Things were serious enough to bring marriage into the question and suddenly, one random Tuesday night, it all came crashing down. He told you that it wasn’t you, that it was him, that it was the right person at the wrong time and all of the other painfully worn out cliches. To think that you even considered marrying him at all.

A crazy thought at three in the morning.

And even crazier when you thought about him texting you in the middle of the night. After a month of no contact.

have you been drinking?

Sent. 3:01 am

Your thumbs twiddle quickly and hit send, waiting for those three little deathly bubbles to pop up and confirm that no, you weren’t dreaming and yes, he was anxiously awaiting your reply.

ASHTON

Maybe. Maybe not.

Sent. 3:01am

His response makes you grumble; Ashton was absolutely insufferable— and even more so when inebriated. You didn’t want to deal with him right now, it was in your best interest to just ignore him and fight the thought of him right back to sleep.

But something inside of you wasn’t allowing this to be that easy.

go to bed.

Sent. 3:02am

ASHTON

Not until you’re in it.

Sent. 3:02am

that made no sense.

Sent. 3:02am

Why was it so difficult to put your phone down?

ASHTON

I don’t give a shit. I miss you.

Sent. 3:03am

You were far too tired to be entertaining his stupid desires at such an odd hour of the evening. The time was one thing, but the fact that he was drinking was an entirely new fish to fry. You knew that your actions had consequences, and those consequences were something you’d have to deal with in the morning.

stop texting me.

Sent. 3:04am

Maybe he’ll get the hint.

ASHTON

Come over?

Sent. 3:04am

Okay. Maybe not.

Your bottom lip had gone raw from the amount of biting you’d been doing to it recently, and it had yet to stop at all. It was a nervous habit you’d picked up after the breakup and you thought you were doing well at combating it by picking at your nail beds and twirling your hair— but now, these little ticks were coming out all at once.

You were a walking ball of nerves and haven’t been the same since that random Tuesday, almost a month ago.

no.

Sent. 3:05am

Look at you. Standing your ground. You were so proud of yourself.

ASHTON

Please?

Sent. 3:05am

fine.

Sent. 3:08am

Fuck.

The time it took for you to get yourself decent must’ve been some sort of world record. Because now, seemingly seconds later, you were in your car and hunched over your steering wheel. Taking deep breaths in as the cool leather pricked your balled up fists.

This fucking sucks.

You turned the key and the engine begrudgingly grumbled to a start. Even your car knew that this was a poor decision; sounding like it was about a five mile drive from completely giving up on you.

Lucky for you, Ashton’s house was only a mile away.

The dark winding road leading to Ashton’s driveway felt like an eternity. You were frigid at the thought of him sitting and waiting up for you, sitting on that deep mahogany leather couch with his head tossed back onto the cushions. His knee bobbing impatiently and the light of the TV making his face glow pale. A glass of whiskey, or whatever the fuck poison he picked nowadays, clutched in his hand and taking small sips until ice melted gradually and watered it down.

You hated how much you knew about him. How predictable he had become in your time being with him. You knew that whatever image your brain was conjuring up of him was probably true, down to the outfit he was wearing.

You didn’t bother texting him because you knew that the second his porch lights turned on, he’d be slouched against the doorframe waiting for you. As he always did. Your tires crunched against the gravel as you slowly pulled into his driveway; shaky hands and tired eyes working in tandem to park your car in the usual spot.

“Didn’t think you’d actually show up.”

The familiar voice pulls your gaze away from your slippers and just as expected, there he was.

His hair was a few inches longer, auburn and honeycomb waves colliding into a box-dyed mess. His roots were so much darker, after you had worked so hard on the touch ups and hours spent bent over the bathtub rinsing the bleach out to lighten his black dye job. All of that time was in vain.

There was an appropriate amount of stubble surrounding his cheeks, for the time you’d gone without seeing him. You were too busy admiring his face to notice that he was wearing the Keith Haring printed robe you had gifted him for Christmas.

You probably looked crazy.

“You asked me to come over,” you shrug, trying to make light of the situation.

“So… you came?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

The tension rising was palpable, despite the tasteful three feet of distance between your bodies, and the only thing you could think about now was the way his mossy eyes sparkled beneath the porch lights.

“Well,” he breaks the silence with a chuckle, “Don’t just stand there. Come inside.”

You don’t say anything else after stepping over the threshold of the house you’d spent almost four years living in. Everything was the same. And you’d imagined it as so. To any normal person, a month wasn’t a terribly long time. But the time after a breakup all seems to mesh into one long day, since stepping into his house for the final time to grab your things felt like it was yesterday.

The guitars still mounted to the wall and decorated art pieces that hung to and fro reminded you of all of the effort you’d spent making this house into a home.

“Is Calum here?” you ask about his best friend and roommate, trying to pay attention to anything else in the room but him.

“Nope. He’s out.”

“Cool.”

Ashton moves around the living room with ease, unperturbed by your presence as he glides over to the connected kitchen. “Want a drink?”

“No. Don’t plan on crashing here, if that’s what you were expecting.”

He lets out a wry chuckle at your attempt to be stern, “I wasn’t expecting anything. Just— trying to be a polite host.”

“Yeah well,” you sigh, flopping back onto that old leather couch, “You don’t have to act like I’m some stranger.”

“Stranger?” he quizzes, opening the door to his fridge as his disembodied voice echoes behind you, “What makes you think I’d treat you like a stranger?”

Your shoulders tense up at his soft words, Ashton rounds the corner back into the livingroom to join you on the couch. He hands you a glass of apple juice, and you take it.

“Thanks,” you murmur, the thought of him keeping a bottle of apple juice in the fridge for you sending a chill down your spine. Despite making fun of you for it, he always remembered that it was your favorite.

“So…” he begins, shifting on the couch to face your slouched body.

You glance over at his posture, and the familiarity of it all was making your head hurt. To think that the way someone chose to sit on a couch was causing you so much grief felt unnatural.

“...How have you been?”

“Fine. Just— living. I suppose that’s all I could really ask for.”

“Living, huh? Sounds fun. Better than dying. If you said you were dying I’d definitely be a little less excited about you showing up here. Walking corpses are not as cool as they are on TV.”

The way Ashton constantly spoke in tongues drove you up the wall. “What the fuck are you even saying?”

“Sorry, I’ve— been watching a lot of TV recently. Also I, uh— had a bit to drink.”

Yeah, no shit.

A few more moments of deafening silence pass and ultimately confuse you. You aren’t sure how silence could be something so loud but alas, whenever you looked at, heard, or even thought of Ashton since that one Tuesday night, the only thing you could hear was the sound of your own quickening heartbeat.

“Do you still have my cashmere sweater?” The thought pops into your mind randomly, as he takes a moment to admire you.

“I do. Did you want it back?”

That question pulls a dry chuckle out of you, “If I didn’t, I probably wouldn’t be asking for it.”

“Fair point. I know just where I left it, too— I’ll go get it.”

Ashton shifts to the edge of the couch to stand up, but stumbles back, due to whatever he had flowing in his system. He braces his ring-clad hands onto the leather and the metal adorning his knuckles tear down into it.

Glancing at those miscellaneous metal etchings and gemstones you’d gifted him makes you think about his infatuation with rings. And, his request for only eight of them.

Your mind flashes back to the anniversaries and milestones where he attempted to collect one for every finger. It could have been preference, or maybe he didn’t foresee enough milestones in which he’d acquire them—but you were never quite sure why he didn’t ask for ten.

He was weird in that way.

“You still wear your rings?” you ask, debating on biting your tongue after letting the question slip right out.

He stops in his tracks, as does your heart, “Of course I do. Why?”

“Dunno’,” you shrug, brushing your shoulder and letting your hand linger on your skin, “Just didn’t think you’d want to after everything.”

Ashton looks at you with intrigue; with purpose. He studies the hand of yours that had been left timidly resting on your forearm.

“Well, to ask you your own question; why wouldn’t I?”

His words hit you like a freight train and suddenly there’s a tightness in your chest that wasn’t there before. You were proud of yourself for being level headed— up until the moment you realized he was right; why wouldn’t he wear those rings?

Why wouldn’t you come over?

“Ashton?” The tightness in your chest was now spreading to your entire body, coating your limbs in this strange paralysis that always seemed to happen when you thought about him.

“Yeah?”

“I miss you, too.”

You don’t even get a moment to process how quickly you were straddling his lap, your crewneck riding up your back as his hands made an effort to explore you. The kiss was heated, sure, but you couldn’t tell if the resentment you felt towards him was meshing into your desires. Those soft little whimpers escaped his chest as you practically pinned him down onto the couch between your knees. You weren’t sure what came over you. Could’ve been his newly acquired taste for classical Hollywood cinema, or the fact that smelling his cologne felt like a breath of fresh air after a month spent locked in a tight little room.

“Ashton,” you mumble his name into his lips and they ricochet back onto yours.

“Oh, Y/N”, he hums, “How I’ve missed you, baby.”

Your tongues danced beneath the glowing of the silver screen, Casablanca being the most appropriate film to be on his television right now.

“I’ve–” your breath staggers, taking a moment to nip at his bottom lip, “I’ve missed you too. God fuckin’–”

The words you were meant to speak were entrapped by soft moans, as Ashton pulls you into his airy pajama pants. He holds you tightly, like he had never left.

“Do– do you–” He attempts to ask the question, the age-old question that had you rethinking your decision to come to his house in the first place.

“I don’t know…”

Your hand travels up to his hair and drags down to cup his cheek, the stubble slightly scratching at your palm and reminding yourself of the blisters that were left in the place of Ashton’s many, many attempts to teach you the drums. Two and a half years of consistent practice paid off.

“That’s okay,” he consoles, nuzzling his cheek into your hand, “We don’t have to do anything. We could just– lay here, y’know? Never minded it, still don’t.”

His answer surprises you. You nod and stutter, unable to form a coherent thought due to the warmth of his bare chest beneath his robe.

“Mmmh. You know what?— I change my mind.”

He chuckles, “Do you, now?”

“Yup. I want to. Gotta’ get whatever the fuck this is— out of my system.”

You couldn’t describe the way Ashton’s face morphed into that of a kicked puppy. The pain in your chest was blatantly obvious now, like a subtle pinprick every time the dim lights would catch the sparkle in his eyes.

“Out of your system?”

“I didn’t— I didn’t mean it like that,” you say; an oxymoron of sorts. Since the elephant in the room started stomping around and now, you were straddling him and tucking a lock of his hair behind his ear.

“I guess I can’t disagree with you. I’ve been missing you a lot but— I don’t know, I can’t really place what I’m feeling.”

Your lip tugs to the side, as does his. Twin looks of confusion in an effort to read each other’s faces. “Let’s just— pick up where we left off? Maybe it’ll help get your mind off the existential dread.”

“Existential dread, huh? Is that what this feeling is?” he asks, his hands running up and down your spine beneath your crewneck.

“Yeah, sure,” you swallow hard, harder than you’d intended and you choke on your words, “We can call it that.”

He whispers your name softly and the chills start running down your body. His voice was the one thing you couldn’t get over; no matter how many nights you’d spent staring at the ceiling in an effort to change that. You’d hear him calling out to you every time the wind blew and hearing him say it right in front of you felt like a slap in the goddamn face.

“Y/N, I’m sorry—”

“It’s a little too late for that now, don’t you think?”

You hated to be so morbid and dry but in the end, it was true. If he had wanted to give apologies where they were due, they should’ve been said the moment he called it quits.

“I figured it’s better late than never. You deserve an apology for— everything that went on.”

Your face turns cherry red, a sudden wash of anger flushing over your cheeks. You push yourself off of his chest with a force that you didn’t even know you were capable of. He jerks back, awe-stricken at the sudden change.

“Oh fuck you Ash. You’re so full of shit,” you mutter, fueled with sudden rage, “If you really wanted to apologize you’d have been at my doorstep a month ago. You don’t care about me. You only care because I’m right in front of you and looking at me hurts too much for you to ignore it.”

“You think I don’t care about you?…”

Ashton’s voice cracks and suddenly you were feeling awful for blowing up unprovoked. The notch in his forehead grows deeper as he studies your infuriated face with sincerity.

“Y/N, of course I fucking care about you. Are you kidding me? I care about you more than anything in this world.”

Another one of those pinpricks tugs at your heartstrings.

“Then why did you let me go?”

Without a moment’s notice or any sort of explanation, Ashton pulls you back into his chest and slots his lips against yours. You don’t fight it. In fact, you embrace it. Another frenzied kiss of daring tongues and roaming hands against the places that felt so familiar to the both of you.

Just as the kiss goes rogue and his lips sloppily traipse down to your jaw, you feel a small droplet roll down your cheek. One that didn’t belong to you.

A quiet sob is preceded by a sentence that rips your heart out of your chest.

“I never wanted to. I never wanted to let you go.”

“Ashton,” you murmur, feeling your eyes welling up just the same, “I—I didn’t know—”

He interrupts your thought with a string of kisses down your neck towards your chest. His hands roam with fervor, feeling you up as though you were the last thing he would ever be allowed or able to touch. You embraced his blistered hands and the way they knew every crease and divot in your body, how effortless he was at drawing you back in.

“I never knew how to get you in front of me to actually say the things on my mind but now that I have you I just— I couldn’t fight the pain in my chest when I looked into your eyes for the first time.” His rambling was trailing off into muffled sniffling and staccato phrasing; it was causing you physical pain to hear him this way.

“I just assumed you hated me. I thought you never wanted to see me again, Ash. Why didn’t you say this sooner?”

“What? No. No, I don’t hate you,” he defends, still solemn, “I just— didn’t know how to reach out. It took me a lot to swallow my pride and send you that text, Y/N… I’ve never been good at communicating.”

“Tell me about it,” you break the tension with a lighthearted hand, but remnants of your feelings for him lingered above your head like a storm cloud.

“But my actions have consequences, I’ve learned… I’d drive past your house and it’d take everything in me not to bang on your front door and drop down to my knees. Beg you to forgive me for everything I put you through… Everything I do reminds me of you in some way and— it was hard to even think about the two of us existing in the same universe without the other by our sides. It just, it didn’t feel natural—”

You felt sorrowful enough to place a kiss on his cheek as he rambled on, masking tears of your own and letting them drip down his cheek.

“— And when you told me ‘no’ after I’d asked you on a whim to come here, I thought it was over. My entire life flashed before my eyes and you weren’t in it and it just— it fucking killed me.”

“But Ashton, I’m here,” you say, watching his face deconstruct into more of a manic expression as he digressed, “I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know you’re here. You’re here now and— I know you always told me to live in the moment, but fuck. There’s so much left to say.”

You cup his jaw and tilt his gaze back into yours, after it had wandered behind your head as it always seemed to do.

“I’m sure there’s a lot to say but Ashton, you’ve made up your mind. That’s just… the way things go.”

Another tear falls rogue from his malachite eyes and your thumb is there to catch it. His gaze is gut-wrenching, plucking at every single one of your impulses and all of the progress you’ve made in getting over him.

“Is it too late to change that?”

Your mind starts reeling. The words you’d never thought you’d hear coming from his mouth were finally out in the open and there was no sign of him taking them back. The initial issue was his lack of communication but fuck, you didn’t know it would come back to bite you so soon.

You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about sending him a simple text to meet for coffee in hopes to ‘change his mind’, but it seemed as though he was thinking about it just as much as you were. There was no point in fighting it anymore. The two of you were meant for each other. If a month of no contact was all it took for him to realize how much he needed you…

…Then maybe that random Tuesday night wasn’t the worst thing after all.

#5sos fanfic #ashton irwin fanfic #ashton 5sos #ashton irwin #ashton irwin angst #ashton irwin blurb #ashton #angst #breakup angst #i’ve never written something like this before plz be kind

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