#please god don't actually make and drink this you'll probably get very very sick

[ghostieliving]

I wouldn't be surprised in the slightest if raw liver boba were to be mentioned as a menu item in one of @gailcarriger 's San Andreas Shifters books, sounds exactly like something that would be offered in a cafe that caters to shifters

[thefanficmonster]

woke up craving daylor + i am currently sick ACDHJK

anyways. hcs of them taking care of each other when one of them is sick?

Sorry to hear you're sick bro :( Hope you get better soon and you better be taking care of yourself 😤 Until then, enjoy the headcanons 😊

~ Vy 💌

Pairing: Daniel x Taylor [The Dark Pictures Anthology: Little Hope]

Warnings: Swearing, Sickness

Genre: FLUFF, Humor

- When Daniel is sick, which happens very rarely, it's like dealing with a child

- Taylor has to trick him into taking his meds and has to plead with him to sit still to get his temperature

- God forbid she mentions he go to the doctor's for a checkup

- He'd probably hide in a closet and not come out until she swears in everything and anything that it was just an idea

- "Daniel, you're twenty years too old for this shit, come on!"

- And God forbid he's prescribed medicine that's bitter

- Or if the pills are too large

- Or if they aren't a fun color

- What did I say - an actual child!

- Now, an important thing to note is that Taylor would NEVER be this patient with anybody else

- She'd drop their case and sick ass instantly, avoiding the risk of catching whatever they have

- But she could and would never do that to Daniel

- Although sometimes, with that behavior, he deserves it

- One ace, or rather two, that she's got up her sleeve is

- 1. "Come on, D, it's just a pill. Drink it, please, for me?"

- That coupled with:

- 2. The pleading puppy dog eyes that he can never say no to

- Man's doomed from the very start, he can run but he can't hide

- Well, at least not forever

- Anywho, now it's time to flip the tables!

- What happens when the short but highly tempered redhead gets sick?

- As a starter, she denies it

- "No, I don't have a fever, I just ran!" She never runs

- "No, my nose isn't runny! Just allergies!" She doesn't have any allergies that she's exposed to on the daily

- "No, I don't have a sore throat, just whispering to not wake the others up/disrupt the class." Yeah, that would work in the right setting, but when in a completely random place where no one is asleep it makes no sense

- And obviously doesn't buy ANY of it not even for a second

- "T, get your ass to bed, I'll make you some tea."

- Surprisingly enough, she argues only a LITTLE before complying

- She's learnt how much of a pain in the ass it is for someone you're trying to help to be refusing your methods

- *cough* Like scaredy cat Daniel *cough*

- And so she doesn't want to do the same to him, just so she can prove that she does have the moral high ground here

- But yeah, she'll still pull the:

- "Don't hang around me a lot, you'll catch whatever I have too"

- Chances are, Daniel will ignore those instructions

- And do the complete opposite

- *cough* Cuddle with her *cough*

- Anyways, what's up with all this coughing?

- *looks to the side*

- Ohhh Andrew is sick too!

- Man really be third wheeling no matter what

@artlovingbre @megandaisy9 @sparrow-gg @squirreljoe @lavadoge @nyctophiliiiiaaa  @ateliefloresdaprimavera

[profoundpidgeon]

✨Haikyu Headcanon(s) of the Evening! ✨

Author's Note: These are just lil' roomate headcanons I came up with cause I just wanted some so I decided to make some! Anyways this is a part 1 out of 2 (I think and hopefully) and as always I hope y'all enjoy! 😊 ~Pidge

Miya Atsumu:

• God this chaotic bastard where do I even start

• Well let's just say you were looking for a roomate and stuff and welp he took the opportunity and idk why but you accepted him (I guess he checked all the boxes for you congrats🎉🎉🎉)

• Now actually LIVING with him can either be a pain in the ass or quite enjoyable

• He gets up at a decent time, early for volleyball (maybe 7-8am) but SLEEPS IN when he doesn't have to go. (I believe like 2-3pm at times) one time you thought he was dead and almost called the hospital, he almost smacked you for that 🤣

• I see him as not being the apartment that often cause of volleyball but he'll be in the apartment just to chill or just to annoy ur ass if he's bored.

• HE WOULD LIKE TO HAVE DESINGNATED MOVIE NIGHTS!!! he also might invite ya know bo, hinata and sakusa but there's sometimes where he just wants to chill with u~

• I believe he's not really a good cook and you would have to make most of the meals or at least remind him to have a decent meal once in a while (if your not a good cook welp... y'all will suffer together I guess)

• He'd be snacking CONSTANTLY I👏SWEAR👏 (This is why ya gotta remind him to have decent meals all the time). I mean there will be nothing in your pantry. It's a literal compition that he wins most of the time to who gets the last packet of pocky. Smh 😑

• I feel like his room would be half messy and half not? Like there would be clothes on the floor but he would make sure to make his bed and his dresser would be a bit messy but not too messy. (Ya know? I hope you get it cause I'm not changing it)

• Please give this man the head pats before volleyball practices (he'll find it cute and if you look close enough you might see him ~blushing~)

Bokuto Koutorou:

• YES ITS TIME FOR MY FAVORITE HIMBO!!! god I LOVE him

• Such a caring man AND WITH SO MUCH RESPECT WHAT DID WE DO TO DESERVE HIMMM

• anyways

• I hope y'all were friends before you decided to move in together PLEASE SAY YOU WERE (well too bad, I'm the writer, you got no choice in the matter)

• He takes afternoon naps... end of headcanons (no but really when u come back from school or work and he's home before you, you can sometimes hear a soft snore from the couch and you just decide to put a blanket on top of himmm)

• On the contrary of Atsumu, I think he'll be a great cook! I think he'll know how to make 3-4 meals very VERY well and present them to you and be so proud of them. He'll puff out his chest and everything (gosh he's making me so proud just writing this)

• He might once in a while ask you politely if his friends can come over and might borrow the apartment for a while (you'll be out till they leave but hopefully you don't mind)

• If he comes home and he's in his emo mode, you either 1. Call Akaashi or 2. Make him soup and build a blanket fort (it will either be chicken noodle or just some comforting soup... anything to get this baby happy again 😊😊😊)

• This may or might catch you off guard (depending on how close y'all get) but he may ask for random hugs. Just for the sake of it and because I believe he's touch starved and craves physical affection.

• Even tho I said before that he might politely kick you out if he wants to have the home/apartment for the bois, at least PLEASE have some games of chaotic Jenga with them like COME ON (I play chaotic Jenga with my friends all the time and hoooo boi)

• Like Atsumu, he deserves the head pats too! I believe there will be a lot of physical touch/affection in your relationship and it's just so sweet! GAH Y'ALL ARE ADORABLE!

• Anyway, Bokuto Koturou would make a great roomate... MOVING ON

EDIT: Damn I forgot to add that he'll probably join in if you decide to paint your nails. Alright now let's continue!

Sakusa Kiyoomi:

• ngl idk how you became roomates with him but congrats 👌👌👌(I guess by pure chance I guess??? ) anyways...

• Y'all would have assigned cleaning chores of course. If you're having a bad day or not feeling good, he wouldn't mind doing your chores for you and taking care of you.

• Ya know I feel like just doing a puzzle with him so y'all might have some puzzle nights and try to challenge yourselfs after each one you complete.

• LOVES TEA. Will recommend tea and different types of tea to you. Will bring different types of authentic teas into ur apartment and y'all can rate teas together! 🍵🍵🍵

• Not that affectionate but will accept words of affirmation. Really does appreciate a 'thank you' and a genuine compliment once in a while.

• Will remind you to wear a mask outside ALWAYS, he doesn't want you to get sick what can I say?

• Even if it might not look like it, Sakusa does care about you. He will give you those gentle reminders to drink water and eat everyday, say lil' thank yous' here and there and genuinely respects as a person.

ANOTHER EDIT CAUSE I CAN'T CONTAIN MYSELF APPARENTLY: But ALL of them would in some way sing in the shower:

Atsumu and Bokuto just BELTING without any care or regret (especially bokuto, some of you've seen tiktoks)

And I feel like for Sakusa he would either silently hum or either have a mini conversation with himself (like a lil' podcast or somethin' 😂) ALRIGHT IM DONE IM DONE

Another author's note: This already seems romantic but I meant it in a platonic way. When I make both parts keep in mind the the relationship is platonic! (Don't worry I might make a part where they go from roomates to lovers if I can gather the brain power 😂)

ANOTHER AUTHOR'S NOTE! :

https://profoundpidgeon.tumblr.com/post/642970351801958400/haikyuu-headcannons-of-the-evening

HEY LOOK! I MADE A PART 2! I hope y'all enjoy! 💖💕💖

[imo-chan-imagines]

『 Haikyuu!! Week 2020 | Day 2 』

· Sept. 26th → One Ball, Heart and Soul ·

Characters: Sawamura Daichi, Testurou Kuroo, Bokuto Koutarou, Ushijima Wakatoshi, Oikawa Tooru, Terushima Yuuji

Prompts: A. favourite position/role + B. travel/journey

Tags/warnings: Haikyuu!! (anime), PG, fluff, crack, headcanons, HaikyuuWeek2020

A/N: I found it so hard to pick a favourite position/role, because they're all so interesting and important, and I love everyone 😭 But I settled on the role of captain because of the headcanons I thought of. Captain Sqaud, assemble! So, want to find out what these boys are like on a road trip?

(Just to be clear, I do love all these guys. None of this is hate 😂) All my Haikyuu Week 2020 posts will be SFW, but I have some NSFW stuff on my blog, too. Feel free to check that out~ Thanks for reading! Please enjoy ♡ Imo~

☆ Sawamura Daichi ☆

Dad-chi™

Comes prepared with all the food, drinks, snacks, med kit, camera – literally everything you could possibly need on a road trip

Plans out the route beforehand down to the tiniest detail nothing gets past this man

As well as multiple backup routes in case there's diversions etc.

Plans for regular breaks at two-hour intervals where everyone can pee, stretch their legs, buy anything they need, etc.

He's the one who's driving he's not letting anybody else get a scratch on his van, lmao

And he's good at it

No speeding he's a cop, y'all but he doesn't dawdle either, no running red lights, turns corners well, keeps an even foot on the gas, etc.

Just a good time, tbh

Nobody is getting car sick because of him that would be a damn disgrace

"Stop fighting right now, or I'm turning this van around"

And will actually do it if you don't stfu, lmfao

Don't even think about making a mess and dropping your rubbish in the van you'll be walking home

Everyone else thinks his music is boring and for old people, but Daichi honestly doesn't care

Besides, it's either that or no music at all, because he needs to concentrate on the road

He takes this shit seriously. People's lives are in his hands, dammit!

☆ Testurou Kuroo ☆

Likes to switch between driving and riding shotgun/being designated navigator

Is fairly decent at both

Is constantly eating something but, like, he probably doesn't even know what it is

Some kind of edible is shoved towards his mouth by whoever's riding shotgun, and in it goes shut up. Not like that, you cretins 😂

Somehow manages to behave like an overbearing grandparent and an overexcited child at the same time?? Nothing new there, I guess 😂

I'm sorry, Kuroo, I love you. Please don't be mad 😭

Has a banging playlist full of throwback songs from the 90s and early 2000s

Drums along sofly on the steering wheel or dashboard constantly

HATES driving in rain he's low-key terrified he's going to aquaplane

Likes driving with the windows wound down and feeling the wind in his hair

Will plan the route, but then forget to save it/print it off, etc.

Cannot work Google Maps or SAT-NAVs to save his life Kenma, please help him

Actually packs properly balanced meals, but is heavy on the snacks, too

You'd think he'd drive too fast, but he's actually really responsible

Constantly telling dad jokes to try and keep people amused the groaners are the best

Would probably fight someone at the gas station if they started being a dick and causing trouble

Kuroo, baby. I love you, but please don't get arrested 😭😂😭

☆ Bokuto Koutarou ☆

Dear God, do NOT let him drive leave it to Akaashi, I'm begging you

Has really bad spacial awareness in a vehicle and drifts all over the place

Probably speeds without even knowing it, too

Likes to ride shotgun, but is a terrible navigator, so is nearly always made to ride in the back

Is the loud one that moves around too much and blocks the rear view mirror strap him in tight, Akaashi

Belts along at the top of his voice to whatever music is playing, he's not fussy

Was told to pack essential items in his backpack and proceeded to fill it with sweets and snacks and a pack of condoms??? and thought he did good

Bokuto: Bro, you said they were essential

Akaashi: NOT FOR EVERY SITUATION

Rarely ever has to pee, but when he does, it's always miles away from any service station, and he has to hold it for hours

Has definitely peed at the side of the road multiple times because he couldn't hold it any longer, but he wasn't even embarrassed as numerous cars zoomed past

Likes sticking his head out the window like a dog on the motorway which gives everyone else heart attacks

Like, get the hell back inside you maniac 😭

If the car has a sunroof, he's 100% standing up through it with his hands in the air just you try and stop him

And they will. Everyone will try

"HORSES!!"

Will get out of the car in traffic jams to find out what's going on and end up chatting with random strangers until it starts moving again

And he's very sad when he has to leave his new friends. Droopy hair and emo Kou for the next 2 hours :(

Unironically enjoys playing 'I Spy' for hours at a time

Is a bit much to handle in such a confined space for hours on end, but he's just so excited for the road trip

Will fall sound asleep in a matter of minutes if you set him up with a travel pillow and it's freaking adorable!!

☆ Ushijima Wakatoshi ☆

No music whatsoever it's distracting. Why would he want it?

Okay driver, brilliant paper-map navigator

Will sit and do absolutely nothing but stare out the window the entire trip if he's neither

Breaks too hard and accelerates too fast, though

Is also kind of heavy-handed with the gear stick he may or may not have snapped one off before...

Never give him a SAT-NAV, though, because he will follow the directions with 100% accuracy and end up driving through a wall or some shit don't try and deny it

Does he ever even blink when he's looking at the road? We may never know

Might be astral projecting, who knows

Forgets people need toilet breaks but refuses to make unscheduled stops

"Just hold it in"

Uh-huh, sure. That's how that works, Toshi

No snacks

Or rather, no fun snacks. Protein bars and mineral water all the way, babyyyy 🙃🙃🙃

Could probably drive all through the night without taking any breaks but that's irresponsible

Don't do it, kids

Will likely devour the entire KFC menu at the service station he's big, okay? He eats a lot

Is prone to leg cramp after long drives oh look, he needs a massage 😏

Doesn't get car sick. Ever. Upset stomachs are for the weak

Has garbage and recycling pouches on the backs of the front seats use them correctly, or feel his wrath

Isn't exactly a barrel of laughs, but it's somehow endearing just like always *happy sigh*

But it's actually a good thing

There's no hidden side to Ushi or any bad or annoying habits that come out of the woodwork on a long road trip

He's just the same old reliable, adorably straightforward Ushijima ❤

☆ Oikawa Tooru ☆

Calls shotgun and demands the aux cord every. Single. Time but it's pretty decent music, so no-one really complains

Not that he's any good at navigation pray for Iwa-chan

Is constantly taking selfies, making TikToks, and documenting the trip on his social media

#ROADTRIP #SQUAD GOALS #BETTER THAN YOU

Will send all the photos in the group chat when it's over, and they actually come out pretty well

Will not stop complaining if the air conditioning is busted and Iwa-chan will threaten to dump him in the middle of nowhere if he doesn't can it 😂

Iwa-chan: I shoulda left you on that street corner where you were standing

Oikawa: But'cha dIDN'T

Bonus points if you get that reference, lmao

Has to keep taking breaks because his butt hurts when he sits down for too long because it's fLaT

I'm sorry, Tooru 😭😭 Forgive me. I love you, really

Is constantly on his phone

But he points out pretty views and interesting sights to everyone all the time awww

Low-key needs to pee all the time, but gets defensive if someone brings it up please stop bulling him, travelling is hard

"Are we there yet?"

Seems kind of annoying, but is actually just genuinely excited to go on a road trip and spend time with his friends 😭😭

Buys matching souvenirs for everyone in secret to surprise them with 🥺

When people complain about all the photos, souvenirs, and enthusiasm, etc. and ask why he has to keep doing it, Oikawa says:

"I want to remember as much of this as possible. I want us all to remember as much of this as much as possible," with a sweet little smile 😭😭😭

And that's when everyone realises how mean they've been to him about being over-the-top and irritating, and they all feel terrible

Just like in the freaking anime, man

☆ Terushima Yuuji ☆

Will hijack the aux cord to play his incredibly niche music taste

Feet up on the dashboard when he rides shotgun

Shoes on is bad enough, but shoes off just stinks up the entire car you have to roll all the windows down, lmfao

Will break all sorts of road laws if you let him behind the wheel please don't

Daichi will come and arrest him 😭😭

Lives on energy drinks

That's all the drinks he packs. Nothing else

Travels in sports wear and sliders yes, even though you reallly shouldn't drive in sandals

Like he knows or cares 😭

Will chat to girls at the gas station and ask for their numbers, even though he's never going to see them again

"You never know, man! It could be, like, fate or something"

Yes, Yuuji, you do. And it's 'or something'

Thinks it's a good time to sext his current booty call because, like, he has hours of free time. What else is he going to do?

Probably forgot to pack actual food

Has to live off of snacks and cheap service station food for the duration of the trip

But not his own snacks, of course. Everyone else's one doesn't keep friends and buy one's own snacks

Genuinely doesn't realise if he's being gross or annoying, so let him down lightly like a bro and he'll probably make an effort to stop

Doesn't plan the route or anything, even if he's driving. Just punches it into Google Maps as he sits his ass down on the day and trusts it to get him there in one piece and on time

Entire Johzenji team: Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...

For some reason knows how to change a flat tire, though, so he's good for something, I guess 😂😂

Probably saw a YouTube video on it. Maybe a WikiHow article

Somehow still manages to be an endearing part of the trip??

He smiles a lot and makes a lot of jokes, particularly when things go wrong, so it keeps everyone's spirits up

It definitely wouldn't be the same without him

© imo-chan-imagines 2020

[big-tiddie-squad]

HIS TREASURE

@twancingyunhoe I FINALLY finished the 3rd part I think its a bit shorter but I liked where I left off. 😁

A very nice, young lady in a bright yellow shirt that says ‘staff’ shows up.

"Just back here please!" Shes says brightly. You nod your head and murmur your thanks awkwardly. You hate talking to new people.

People hate talking to you in general. Worthless, stupid idiot. It was probably meant for someone else. How could he even care for you?

How about you shut your whore mouth? How about that? I am worthy of being liked and cared for. And there's nothing you can say to me to believe otherwise.

"Alrighty! If you just go through these doors on the left, the dressing room is the first door on your right!" She claps her hands as if she's done with her part in this. You panic. Only a little...

" Do you have any questions before going? " she asks.

" Uhhhh... noooo?" You question yourself, unsure of how to bring up that you struggle with telling your left and right.

"Okiedokie! Then if there are no more questions I have to go get the guys their drinks, what can I get for you?" She asks. She's sweet and has a beautiful smile too, its really contagious.

"Yes can I have a sweet iced tea or a cherry coke?" You smile back at her.

“Of course! I’ll go grab it while you wait for them!” She smiles even broader than before. Okay... you like her but omg is she’s either the cheeriest person ever or she’s REALLY good at faking. The nice lady leaves and you take a deep breath before heading in... the... she said right...right?

  You head to the right and go through the doors and down the hall. Further and further down the hall. ... WHAT KIND OF HALL HAS NO DOO- oh, there it is. She did say on the right. You remember that part at least. You look at your feet in thought. You think...

  As you contemplate this you open the door... and run straight into someone.

 What the- You look up in shock and immediately start to apologize and bow. 

  “Oh.. uh.. I’m sorry but... this..is the mens restroom...” You make eye contact with a beautiful set of smiling brown eyes. OH. OH NO. OH GOD. 

Seonghwa. It's freaking SEONGHWA! I WALKED INTO THE MENS RESTROOM AND RAN INTO FREAKING. SEONGHWA?!

"OH my gosh I am so sorry!" You cover your eyes and turn away. If there is a higher being out there, they've got a sick sense of humor.

He smiles awkwardly. "It's alrigh... I'm only assuming here, but are you lost? It'll make this look a little less weird." He looks around the restroom checking for any others who might be looking to make a quick buck on the rumor train.

"Yes, uh, I was supposed to go to the dressing room... I thought I went the right way? She said to go right through the doors and it's the door on the right.. I think?" You think maybe you got the directions wrong... well... you definitely got them wrong or else you wouldn't have ended up in a bathroom with Seonghwa.

"Well... You're clear on the other side of the building from where it is, haha." Seonghwa laughs softly. "Here I'll guide you back. At least you'll have someone to keep you on the right path back." He moves his arm behind you to guide you out and start you off in the right direction.

"Sooo.... can we not mention how you and I met? It's kind of embarrassing and I don't want anyone to think I was being weird or anything, aha..." you try to laugh it off, nervously. Please, please, please say yes.

"Of course I won't. Haha. It'll be our little secret." He says with a wink and a friendly smile.

A few minutes later, you're both standing in front of another door. You reach for the handle but then look up suddenly and search around the doorway.

"What are you doing?" Seonghwa asks confused and a little concerned.

You freeze and mumble, "...making sure this isn't a men's bathroom..."

He chuckles, reaches around you and opens the door. "Its not the bathroom." he leans in and whispers and waves a hand towards the room.

He's laughing at you cause you're actually competing with the shrew on who has the smaller brain of all the mammals.

AGAIN?! REALLY? Do you have nothing better to do with your time? Is this all you're good for? For something that can only ever be inside my mind, you sure can't seem to grasp what I think of you.

You take a deep breath and step through the threshold separating you and all of Ateez. Seonghwa walks in behind you.... and you both stop dead in your tracks.

...what.

You both see a circle of guys around someone and they're all cheering. Who's in the middle?

There's Mingi..Yeosang.. Wooyoung...Jongho...San... and Hongjoong is in the corner covering his face in what looks like defeat and slight disappointment. No... no hes trying to hide his laughter.

... and... Seonghwa is with me.. so that leaves...

You and Seonghwa step closer to the group.

Yup. Its Yunho. Annnd he's doing a headstand on the couch while a frustrated makeup artist tries to clean off his face.

You let out a snort. Fuck.

All eyes are on you now. 8 beautiful sets of eyes. And one set that is clearly used to Yunhos and the groups shenanigans. Lovely.

The makeup artist throws her hands up and leaves and Yunho rolls forward of the couch and does an elaborate spin and bows to his cheering audience. These boys were crazy. You couldn't wait to get to know them.

"Milady." He walks up to you and bows holding out his hand for yours with a twinkle in his eye. Seonghwa and Hongjoong move to disperse the others away so you two can have a semi private moment.

You stare into the eyes again and your eyes trace down his long arms to his lovely hands and fingers. Oh he's waiting for me! Flustered you place your hand in his with a slap.

You're face turns a deep shade of red.

Omg. Did I just slap his hand? I was only trying to put my hand in his gently and I spazzed. Cool beans.

Yunho laughs and kisses the back of your hand gingerly, never breaking eye contact. "I'm so happy you're here, my treasure, my baby bunny."

[ryan-spinel]

CHAPTER THREE

“Heavenly Bliss”

“What are you doing out so late Spinel.” Connie challenged

“I wouldn't call 5:45 in the afternoon last Connie. Seems like you've been somewhere, caring paper bags.” I smirked

“Well, Valentine, going grocery shopping after school is better than hanging with drug dealers.” Connie provoked

“Well I guess someone was doing more than shopping, I was helping a friend get a date.” I sassed

“Sure you were.” The whore snickered

I have to say, I alway hated passive aggressive bitches. I mean, if your going to be angry show it, instead of being a dick about it.

“Listen to me Spinel, I don't know what kind of stuff you're involved with the Black Hawks. But my father is the chief inspector of the local police agency, and I will have to report any unusual activity your involved in.” Connie warned

“And that's suppose to mean something, my mothers a lawyer.” I bragged

“Sigh, look Spinel. I don't want any trouble. I don't know why you hit me yesterday, but all I ask for. Is that you stay away from Steven, or you'll regret it. He doesn't need someone like you in his life.” Connie threaten

It's cute that she thinks she can scare me. It's you who will be sorry.

“Connie. You sound like Steven belongs to you, you do realize he has a life outside of you.” I smirked

Connie was about to say something, but then she gave be a defeated look. Looks like I won this battle, but haven't won the war just yet.

“Just, please don't go near him. You're not his friend.” Connie added, walking towards me.

Of course I'm not his friend, I'm his girlfriend, his babey, his sweetheart.

At the moment she walks by me, I pulled out my Italian stiletto and used it to tear the paper bag open. Causing the groceries to drop to the ground.

“Gasp, oopsie daisy.” I gibed, walking by Connie irritably picking up her groceries.

It brings me joy to see someone like her struggling. Now time to go home before my folks worry about me.

It's now sundown, I just arrived to my place. I hope my moms aren't worried.

I walked up to the entrance and was going to open the door, however I stopped. I was hearing muffled screaming inside the house, so I ease dropped to find out what they're talking about.

“This has gone on long enough mother, we can't keep denying the problem with Spinel!” Mother argued

“You watch you're tone with me young lady, Spinel is fine. How is her liking someone so awful.” Grandmother Whitney retaliated

“Liking someone, you mean this boy Steven. I got a call from the school that she punched a girl in the face.” Mother retorted

“How is that a problem, Spinel probably had a good reason to do so.” Grandmother Whitney denied

“She hit that girl, over a piece of cake. I was told by Dr.Maheswaran, that her daughter asked for a piece of cake Steven had, and then all of a sudden Spinel hits her trying to slap the cake out of her hand. Accidentally hitting her in the face, causing her to bite her lip.” Mother shot

There was a silent pause, until I heard Momma speaking.

“Whitney, this isn't normal behavior for a girl like Spinel. Ever since kindergarten she's been very violent towards kids her age. We can't keep hiding and ignoring on what she did to Spin-.”

SLAP

“Never, and I repeat never mentioned that women again.” Grandmother Whitney snapped

“Mother what is wrong with you, don't hit Bella again.” Mother raged

“Or what, you won't defend me in court. I had to teach her a lesson for disobeying me.” Grandmother Whitney threaten

“Bella's right Mother, somethings wrong with Spinel. Sigh, God we should have never given her that knife.” Mother muttered

“The reason why I gave that knife is because that's what she wants. She doesn't want makeup and all that girly crap you get her. I know my Granddaughter.” Grandmother Whitney stated

“You can know Spinel inside and out all you want Whitney , but you gave her a weapon. In the past we got calls that Spinel threaten students in elementary, once I got called into a meeting with the principal because Spinel got suspended for bitting a kid, in middle school. Now she's attacking girls out of jealousy. Sigh, Whitney. Spinel is sick. This can't continue, because if it does Spinel will get herself hurt or go to prison. So if you really care for her, you need to stop defending this toxic side of Spinel. She needs help-.” Momma screeched before being interrupted

Ding, dong

“Hey guys I'm back from the library.” I announced

“Come in starlight.” Grandmother Whitney answered

I opened the door and walked to the dining room. I saw my three care-givers sitting at the dinning table drinking tea. Although I noticed Momma had tears in her eyes, and having a red handprint on the left side of her face.

“How was school today Spinel.” Mother coaxed

“It was a wonderful day Mother, I had lots of fun with Perri today.” I clarified

“That's good sweet-pea, did you have dinner at the Fitzgerald home.” Momma faltered

“Yes Momma, don't worry about wittle old me.” I reassured

Although I wouldn't call a tray of onigiri dinner, even though I'm still a little hungry. But I can wait until tomorrow, I don't want momma to stress about me.

“Okay darling, please get ready for bed.” Grandmother Whitney asserted

“I'll see you guys tomorrow.”

Once I finished getting into my cute bun-bun themed pajamas, I walked to my futon going to bed. Saturday is going to be a big day for me, because that's the day Steven and I will be all alone. No Connie to interfere with us. I'll just have to ask him tomorrow at school.

Ring ring

Another day of school went by so fast, and Friday is the perfect day to ask out Steven. Because that bitch Connie has tennis practice on Fridays, that means Steven will be all alone without any interruptions.

In the distance I see the gullible hunk walking off school grounds. I have to catch up to him before it's to late. I raced like hell to catch up to him, trying to catch his attention.

“Steven!” I exulted

“Wha.”

Finally, I got his attention.

“Hey Steven, huff puff huff puff.” I listlessly

“Oh, Spinel. I didn't expect to see you. Are you okay, from Wednesday.” Steven Gasped

“Ya everything is just swell.” I said trying to ease his nerves

“Anyway, sorry to bother you. But would you like to hang out tomorrow. Like get a milkshake, do karaoke or something.” I hesitated

Please say yes, please say yes.

“Sure, why not.” Steven responded

Yes, yes, oh god yes. I feel my heart racing and I'm sweating like crazy. I honestly had my doubts.

I wanted to reply to his answer, but I was so happy I lost my sense of reality. I couldn't stop smiling and my cheeks were like two hot tomatoes. My heart has never been this happy before, it's going to explode.

“Ah, Spinel. Are you okay.” Steven guessed

Just him looking at me made me paralyzed with joy.

“Oh, oh Stevi your so cute. I just want to cuddle you and feed you cookies.” I mumbled

“Ahhhhhhhhhh, okay. Well, meet me at my place tomorrow at noon. Bye.”

And just like that, my man is gone. Tomorrow I need to look my best, also I need to ask a favor from my geeky bud.

“Congratulations on your date Spinel.” Perri cheered

“It hasn't started yet, but thanks. How was your date with Lexi.” I grinned

“Well, I wouldn't call it a date. At least the clan allows me to hang with her.” Perri hummed

“Does Brooklyn know.” I doubted

“Ah, not yet. She still doesn't want me around the Black Hawks. But I still want to see Lexi, I just want her out of the gang.” Perri worried

“Hey, don't worry. Things will turn out okay, Lex is a smart gal and she'll get out eventually.” I encouraged

“You're a great friend Spinel, how can I repay you for what you did.” Perri offered

“Well, I hate to ask but. Can you keep Connie away from Steven all day.” I begged

Please say yes, please say yes

“Your in luck friend, I'm working on a science assignment with Connie. I'll tell her to come to my house to work on the project.” Perri reassured

“Ah, thank God. I owe you big time.” I burst

“No need, that's what friends do.” Perri acknowledged

It's 30 minutes until noon. I have to make up an excuse to go out.

“Hey Momma.” I shouted from my room

“Yes dear.” Momma groggily

“I'm going to the karaoke club with some friends. I'll be back before sunset.” I lied

“Yawn, okay sweetie. Please be safe.” Momma sleepily

I didn't expect it to be that easy, now time to see senpai.

It's a good thing Steven lives less than five minutes away, I would hate to take the bus. But if I had to I would.

I finally arrived at Stevens house, or tiny home to be exact.

His house wasn't as fancy as mine, although it's a cute little home. But what do you expect when your dad is a Uber driver, and rarely gets the dough at one of his garage concerts.

Speak of the devil, I see Greg Universe. On a lawn chair outside his house, playing his guitar and drinking beer. Although I have to admit, even though Greg looks like a loser he's still a good father. Obviously Steven got that suave charm from him.

“Hello Mr.Universe.” I burst

“Oh, you must be Conn- Ah I mean Spinel. Stevens happy that you asked him to hang out. By the way, call me Greg.” Greg sputtered, sounding like he's one more bottle to being wasted.

“Is Steven almost ready.” I inquired

“Don't worry, he'll be out shorty.” Greg reassured, but still looks like he has more to say.

“You know. I'm actually glad that you asked Steven to hang.” Greg confessed

“Really.” I doubted

“Ya I am. Steven doesn't really hang out with other kids outside of school. Even since his mom passed away, he's been very antisocial. Sure he may be out going at school. But when he isn't at school, he just sits in his room. Or sometimes hangs out with his friend Connie.”

I hate the thought of that bitch being mentioned today.

“Steven may hang with a lot of kids, but they're not his friends. I hate to talk behind someone's back, but I feel like Connie and Steven spend to much time together. I'm not saying that they can't hang out, but Steven needs a variety of friends. Because if they don't stay friends Steven will have trouble finding new ones. Ha, I'm sorry I burden you with all of that. It's just my way of saying thanks, I hope Steven has lots of fun.” Greg rattled on

Wow, you think you know a guy. I really misjudged Greg, he must want Steven to have as many friends has he wants. I'm just glad that we're one the same page that Connie is bad for him. That's what happens when two loners become friends, they're obsessed with spending so much time with each other.

“I'm sorry about your wife Greg, she must be very lucky to have a kid like Steven.” I comforted

“Thank you Spinel, it really means a lot to me.”

“Hey dad, I'm going now-oh hey Spinel. It's good to see you.” Steven beamed

“Hey Schtu-ball, here's so cash to have fun with your lady friend.” Greg happily offered

“Dad, it's not like that.” Steven spluttered

“Loosen up Lil-man. I'm just messing with you.” Greg smiled

Then all of a sudden, Greg was whispering in his ear. I couldn't hear want they are talking about. But what caught me off guard was that Greg secretly slipped a condom in Stevens jacket.

Oh Lordy, Steven and I haven't even got to the batters box's yet. Already Greg gives him a condom on the first date, I guess it's better to be safe then sorry. Now Greg has my full respect now, thinking that Steven and I would get dirty. He really wants Steven to have more friends.

Although poor Steven, he must be so embarrassed that Greg is giving him condoms and advice on girls.

“Okay Dad, I heard enough. Come on Spinel let's go” Steven spluttered

“Okay okay, see you crazy kids later.” Greg joked

“Jesus Christ.” Steven mumbled

After Steven got the talk, we made our way onto the bus.

“So Spinel, What would you like to do.” Steven asked

“Well, lets go to that 50s style dinner. I heard they have to best burgers and milkshakes there.” I suggested

“You mean Krazy Kats, (chuckled) it's been so long since I've been there. After that lets go to the karaoke club.” Steven cheered

“Steven Universe, I didn't know you can sing.” I teased

“Well. I can't, the only song I can sing is twinkle twinkle little star.” Steven joked

“Well it doesn't hurt to try.”

“No, it doesn't.” Steven hoped

After a long drive, we finally arrived at Blossom valley Mall.

As the gentleman Steven is, he helped me off the bus. Such a chivalrous lad.

“We're here, so do you want to do first.” Steven advised

“Lets go to the karaoke club first.” I responded

“Cool, lets go.”

“Wait Steven.” I shouted

“Yes Spinel.” Steven smiled

“I, I need you to hold something for me.” I avowed

“Sure, I'll be happy to help.”

I took out my right hand and reached it out to Steven, palm up.

“My hand.” I cackled shyly

Steven looked at me for a little bit, trying to get a grip of the situation. Until he started to smile.

“(Giggling), your adorable Spinel. Of course I'll hold your hand.” Steven beamed while grapping onto my hand.

He. He called me adorable. Wow, he called me adorable, on our first date. Oh god, I feel like I'm having a heart attack because my heart can't stop beating. He's now holding my hand, his soft skin rubbing onto me. How a I going to make it the whole day without fainting.

We happily dashed to the karaoke club. Inside was just like the interior of the Double Deuce in the movie Road House. It was also very spectral, with smoke, flashing colored lights and giant speakers. It was like a rave in here. Steven and I quickly found a place to sit, now looking at which songs we're going to sing.

“Wow, there's a lot to choose from. What are you going to sing.” Steven asked

“(Giggling), that's a secret. You'll find out soon.” I teased

“Always full of secrets I see.”

Well you got one thing right.

“Okay, you can go first. I'll still need some time to choose.” Steven convinced

“Alright kiddo, I'll go first.” I joked

I walked up to the counter and asked for my song. They told me I was on in five minutes. I walked back to Steven to tell him.

“Hey Stevi, I'm on in five minutes.”

“Cool, I picked mr blue sky electric light orchestra.” Steven mentioned

“Interesting choice bud.”

“Alright everybody give him around of applause. (Laughing) okay folks it's time of our next performer, please welcome to the stage for Spinel.”

(Applause)

I skipped up to the stage, getting ready to sing. Although some people would need to read the lyrics on the screen, but I know this song off by heart.

The song began

I still hear your voice when you sleep next to me 🎶

I still feel your touch in my dreams 🎶

Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why 🎶

Without you it's hard to survive 🎶

Here comes the chorus

'Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling 🎶

And every time we kiss I swear I could fly 🎶

Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last 🎶

Need you by my side 🎶

'Cause every time we touch, I feel the static 🎶

And every time we kiss I reach for the sky 🎶

Can't you hear my heart beat so I can't let you go 🎶

Want you in my life 🎶

'

(Freestyle dancing)

Your arms are my castle, your heart is my sky 🎶

They wipe away tears that I cry 🎶

The good and the bad times we've been through them all 🎶

You make me rise when I fall 🎶

'Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling 🎶

And every time we kiss I swear I could fly 🎶

Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last 🎶

Need you by my side 🎶

'Cause every time we touch, I feel the static 🎶

And every time we kiss I reach for the sky 🎶

Can't you hear my heart beat so I can't let you go 🎶

Want you in my life 🎶

(More freestyle dancing)

'Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling 🎶

And every time we kiss I swear I could fly 🎶

Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last 🎶

Need you by my side 🎶

(Applause)

“Spinel that was amazing, your singing voice is beautiful.” Steven praised

“Your so sweet Stevi, it's now your turn to shine.” I encouraged

Now as expected, Steven sucked. But we had a good laugh about it. So far this was the best day of my life. This was true heavenly bliss.

Steven and I weren't really hungry, so we got takeout milkshakes from Krazy Kats. We then found a nice place to sit and catch. On a small green hill under a cherry three.

“How's your mint-chip, butterfingers, Reese's PB cups, Hershey's chocolate syrup with no cherry.”

“It's just delicious, how's your plain boring strawberry milkshake.” I joked

“Hey, it's just as good as yours.”

“(Giggling) I'm just messing with you, you look so cute when flustered.” I teased

“Okay now your just being silly.” Steven gushed

“Puff, (laughing).” Steven and I giggled

“Ha ha hah, Spinel this day was amazing. I'm having so much fun with you.” Steven cackled

This is an amazing day, I just want to relive this moment for the rest of my life. I never expected Steven to have fun with someone like me.

Wait, why's Steven frowning. Did I do something wrong. Fuck, I thought I did everything right.

“Spinel, I should have never given that cake you gave me to Connie. I thought I was doing something nice, but I didn't reconsider on how you'll feel. Although it wasn't right that you hit Connie. But, it was my fault that I blown out of proportion. I'm sorry Spinel.” Steven apologized, on the verge of tears.

“I can just act so stupid sometimes. I don't mean to do anything to hurt anyone, but I do it without knowing. I don't know why I'm like this. Ever since my mom was shanked in an ally by Black Hawk thugs, I just find was to mess up. Dads always stressed about paying the bills and taking care of me. He doesn't need that kind of stress I'm giving him. I'm just a burden. I'm a burden to my friends, my teachers and even my closest friend Connie. I just don't want to keep annoying people all the time, telling me to go away and play kid games. And them saying “your bitch mom got what she deserved”, one time I got a note I found in my locker, saying that it would be better for everyone if I just kill myself. (Sobbing). I feel like the whole world is against me, that everyone has some reason to attack me. Because I keep fucking up all the time. I'm just one. big. fuck up.(sobbing).” Steven bawled

Oh god, I had no idea Steven was in this much pain. It seems like on the outside that he's this layback happy guy. But no one notices that he's breaking and dying inside. Like me.

There was only one thing I can do, I wrapped my arms around him, giving him a tight hug.

“I'm sorry that you're feeling so bad, is this why you wanted to hang with me.”

“No!” Steven screamed

“No, no. I really wanted to spend time with you. I felt guilty for hurting you. But I still enjoyed today. (Sobbing).”

“It's okay daring, I'm not going anywhere. You're never a burden Steven Universe. I know things are stressful for you lately. But please don't consider it. I'll miss you, your dad will miss you, your friends and even your pets. You're important to a lot of us.”

“Lets just say this, you off yourself last year. That means you missed all those precious memories to this day. Your birthday, Christmas and even Halloween. All those events are gone, disappeared.”

“Remember last year. When I started the first year of high school. On Monday during lunchtime, I was waiting in-line to by the canteens fresh baked cookies. I was a limited time offer, only on Mondays. When I walked to the counter and asked for one of their cookies. They said “Sorry kid, we're sold out.” So I started to get upset. I wanted those cookies for so long and now there gone. But out of no where, you saw me. Out of the kindness of your heart you game me half of your homemade chocolate-chip cookie. Even though it wasn't as good as the canteens ones. It was still special that someone as kind as you, would share with me.”

“Don't you see goofball. Your actions have an impact on people's lives, a good impact. If you disappeared, that special moment would never happened. I know we don't know each other well, but I really care about you. Because you cared about me, and I would love to hang out more with you. Those last couple of hours were the best moments in my life so far.”

“(Sniffling) you really think so.”

“I know so Steven, you have a big heart and you care and love everyone. But you need to start loving yourself.”

Steven then wrapped his arms around my petite waist.

“Thank you Spinel, thank you so much.”

“I'll never leave you Steven. Never ever.”

To be continued

[punkscowardschampions]

Ava & James

Ava: So, campus bars Ava: Avoid entirely or cheap enough to make the cringe worth it? 🤔🤔 James: use your student loans wisely enough that cheap is avoided entirely Ava: Ugh 😏 I thought you'd give real advice if I got you off the clock James: go with your gut, option 1 James: you're not striking me as someone to base their social life around KCLSU's quiz night Ava: I love trivia like I love cheap white wine spritzers and school spirit James: knew you'd fit right in Ava: Can I put that resounding endorsement on my application then, James? James: it'll carry more weight if you accidentally add the I when you write my name James: but I didn't say that James: slip of the pen, that's all Ava: My lips are sealed Ava: There's plenty of time to meet him and double up on kudos James: I hear the girl's hazing rituals are savage James: stand you in good stead that will Ava: No one is scarier than a high school girl Ava: Nor as petty and sadistic Ava: I think I'll survive James: they've toned it down since that girl had a mental episode post head shave James: sure you will Ava: Very chic Ava: Do you wait 'til the UCAS app has gone through to drop the horror stories usually or are you really bad at this whole recruitment thing on purpose? James: it's my 1st time playing tour guide James: potentially I'm less than cut out for it Ava: I won't lodge a formal complaint Ava: Unless you're turning over DMs as feedback, in which case, awkward James: I won't be, some girls think I have more sway than I really do James: awkward indeed Ava: God Ava: Not even my first choice Ava: Though makes you wonder how effective attaching nudes to your cover letter would be James: they'd have to take that on a case by case basis Ava: 🤞 that you don't get the one token woman on the panel James: not your 1st choice, no need to cross anything Ava: Hypothetically, James II Ava: Why was it yours, then? Ava: Student life evidently not being it James: it was my only James: it's gonna end up being Teddy's too Ava: He hasn't turned up to business studies in time Ava: But slip of the pen, I get you James: my older sister got all the brains and none of the sense of fun Ava: Know the sort Ava: Bet I still likes you better though James: I wouldn't go that far Ava: Too far for a taster sesh Ava: Understood Ava: Don't suppose you'll point me in the direction of where you actually hang now then? James: I suppose I could Ava: Please Ava: Bored is an understatement Ava: I'll still show up all present and correct for the debrief thing tomorrow James: it's such a good thing here isn't your 1st choice Ava: You should give me the real tour Ava: I'll keep my lips sealed James: can't I get another please before you do? Ava: Please do not invite your brother Ava: He got us kicked out of Mahiki last month it was so tragic James: he's a disgrace Ava: Most of them are James: I don't associate with anyone who still goes to Mahiki regularly Ava: It's pretty played out James: if they'll let Teddy in they're getting desperate Ava: 😂 awh James: you ready now? Ava: Already out Ava: Figured you better pick me up from The Vault Ava: Consider it a mini hazing of my own James: keep your lips sealed that I'm going within 100 yards of the place and sure Ava: Don't worry Ava: The others are at the cinema or something equally as lame the school put on for our 'overnight entertainment' Ava: I'm sick Ava: No selfies James: the hangover'll make it look & feel convincing Ava: That's a promise you can put your wallet behind Ava: I am a guest James: you don't want put your fake ID on the line either Ava: Bold of you to assume I've ever needed to buy my own drinks 😏 Ava: I didn't bring it alright, shut up James: you don't need it, I'm only playing Ava: 😾 James: how many drinks has my brother bought you? Of course I need to 1 up him Ava: Total? Ava: Not as much as he'd like but lots Ava: Not trying to milk this sibling rivalry or anything, have known him ages Ava: Well before Mahiki would let him in, like James: hardly a rivalry, you know him well enough to realise Ava: True Ava: You do what feels right and I'll let you know by the end of the night then James: very straightforward James: I like it Ava: You don't know me well enough yet but that's par for the course James: I knew your brother for years & I didn't know him James: we'd need more than an evening Ava: I'm as comparable to my brother as you are to yours Ava: Probably James: show me, I'll show you Ava: Deal Ava: But we will need more than an evening Ava: to make it fair James: you can have until you're bored Ava: You'll want longer when you aren't anymore James: I'm used to things not lasting as long as I want Ava: I'm not your average Ava: You'll see James: bold of you to assume I've ever settled for average Ava: I didn't say THE average James: I heard you say my average Ava: No need to be offended by better, is there? James: bemused at most Ava: You're welcome Ava: but you are meant to be entertaining me, not the other way 'round James: you brought up fairness James: & it's a good point Ava: How do you propose we make it fair then? James: I entertain you tonight, you entertain me whenever you've thought of your own tour worth taking me on Ava: That's actually a good idea Ava: and entirely fair James: Teddy'll cost my dad more to secure his place than I did, I've got some brains on board Ava: No doubt Ava: Gave his name to the right kid, clearly James: My sister was undoubtedly relieved James: though Diana has its own pitfalls Ava: 😬 The jokes write themselves James: they do Ava: Perks of having a relatively untouched name James: it does suit her, she's very much a martyr Ava: Did you do an English degree? Ava: You're good at painting a picture with words Ava: See 👸 so clearly James: sadly not James: maybe I'll go back & do it if I ever finish the current one Ava: Student forever vibes Ava: Fuck real life James: then again, being the kind of dad who drops their kid off for classes & pulls up his own chair at the table doesn't sound like a great idea Ava: Just make sure its not their first choice, yeah? James: oldest's already smarter than me James: won't be a problem Ava: There you go then James: where's yours? Ava: Currently undecided Ava: It's more a case of sorting the 2-5 James: & how's that going? James: this place being a solid 5th Ava: Its been a solid mix of fun and boring working it out Ava: Better than another night in Mahiki at any rate Ava: I'll have to decide eventually but even my mum can't demand I do quite yet James: don't over complicate it James: they're not all that different James: I've got friends studying all over the map and they're still basically doing the same things I am Ava: See, that's what I figured Ava: But try telling that to a woman who was Cambridge or bust Ava: It's more about the vibe of the place, the people, the ethos and the lecturers not being the worst stereotypes of boring/creep Ava: again, if I tell her vibe is on my criteria she'd actually kill me before I could apply anywhere so 🤷 James: your secret's safe with me James: even if our mothers were friends, mine is currently not speaking to me Ava: How's that? James: it's something I'm fairly used to James: she's not a big talker James: more of a fan of a dismissive hand gesture Ava: Gotcha Ava: Not a whole lot to miss James: she's got lots to say about my parenting style but who hasn't Ava: Shame you don't talk to my brother now James: I don't suppose he sees it as a shame Ava: Probably not Ava: He's not one for regrets James: me either James: it's why we started out friends Ava: Feels like ages ago Ava: Since he still lived here James: it kind of is James: he left before he left Ava: It's complicated James: it's not my business Ava: Not mine either so Ava: Whatever James: car's here James: are you going to make me get out for you? Ava: You're meant to come in here Ava: Don't you trust I can keep my lips sealed? James: I don't trust it to be entertaining in there James: hence it's not part of the tour Ava: Please James: Oh Ava James: [but does come in we all know he would] Ava: [clearly making him stay for a drink and play pool or something in this student ass bar] James: [when you're whipped for someone you're not even dating lol] Ava: [When Chloe is your missus] James: [to be a fly on the wall in their relationship tbh literally imagine] Ava: [oh lordy how you have not been missed girl] James: [at least the new kid is young enough she can dress it up still and it can't talk back so she can pretend she gives a shit and isn't blowing his phone up rn] Ava: [in full show-off-to-all-my-friends mode still, somehow still has some lol] James: [lord when you don't even like and comment on pics of your own child anymore though bye do not approve of your aesthetic choices Chlo] Ava: [so awkward, when you only get a look in for the boring/hard bits] James: [basically just get to parent Jay cos she's well over that] Ava: [poor James tbh] James: [have your fun now lad I don't blame you even though everyone else will] Ava: [lord people gonna be SO mad] James: [how far we gonna take this during the tour cos obvs flirty vibes been flying about but like he can't just jump her cos married and she's younger] Ava: [she fully initiated this whole thing lbr but maybe don't sleep with him yet babe as you are aware he's married and has kids so like, some thought even though you young and reckless that, he could always stop it at a makeout 'cos then how embarrassing for her and she'd have to leave it for a bit like what was I doing, angst etc] James: [I vibe with that cos they are gonna be drinking a lot as the night goes on so that'd make both of them give less of a shit about the consequences but because the night is going on eventually chlo is gonna be like are you coming home ever because I like to think he hasn't cheated since she got pregnant with this kid and has actually been trying even though he's miserable af clearly] James: [like maybe it was really bad before and he was actually gonna leave her so she was like simply must trap him and did] Ava: [v much a her move I support it] James: [yeah cos she's invested this much time into him she's not just gonna let him go easily] Ava: [when you have no idea what you've signed yourself up for here babe] James: [I'm rooting for them rn cos nobody else is and I'm 100% that bitch, must not get invested yet when we've only just begun] Ava: [same tho so whoops] James: [he'd be so into it though too we all know that makeout would be 💣🔥] Ava: [hence breaking it off would be hard af, Chloe gotta be blowing his shit up to the degree he thinks maybe one of the kids is hurt lol] James: [literally Chloe is the teenage girl in this situation, girl chill out] Ava: [I'd feel bad if you hadn't also cheated loads and trapped him in this sham life soooo, grant you idk how much Ava knows of that rn but she'd clearly have a rep] James: [yeah I feel like Ava would be knowing some shit cos same circles and Chlo ain't slick plus like he's gonna eventually tell her cos god knows he needs someone to talk to] Ava: [we will get there boy] James: [at least it'll be less awks for her cos it'll be obvious that he didn't wanna break shit off and how hard it was to do] Ava: [there was obvs a vibe to pursue in the first place, still tomorrow morning lmao] James: [he'd so go too hard pretending she doesn't exist like nobody's picked up on the vibe and it ain't obvious okay boy] Ava: [I hope there's some other drama gone down on this little excursion so yous can fly under the radar, someone hold hands at the cinema lol] James: [shit like that always happens don't worry you two] Ava: [thank God for teenage shenanigans when you out here homewrecking on the low] James: [you should do some Chlo texts at me for the lols even if I don't reply cos busy lol]

[squaredancing-weston]

text || Brobastian (Week 2)

Bas: Okay fine - strategically placed mirrors, then, that get all of my best angles. But I mean, worst case scenario, we get a shitload of reflections of me. I don't see the downside. No, Brodes, /you're/ missing the point. It'd be far more humane to actually give me the relief I need rather than leave me in a permanent state of frustration. I mean, I don't know about you, but that sounds like more exertion than having someone tease me by opening me up, only to leave me wanting more. And, I mean, it's really only teasing the other guy, too. I'm sure he'd rather just pound me until I'm screaming his name while watching myself come apart in several different angles - god. It'd be so hot. So in what way does teasing me make more sense for either party, really?

Bas: The only person you're making laugh is yourself, so you have an audience of one. Which is you. How does that not sound sad to you? Nobody even showed up for your stand-up show, Brodes. Shame. I don't know - I find mocking other people hilarious. Take Hummel for example. Guy's so easily stirred up - it's great.

Bas: What, you think that just because I'm not interested in romance that I can't appreciate The Sound of Music? I know, I know - more nazis Surprise, surprise. Point is, if I went through life trying to avoid every single show that has romance, I'd be left with very little to watch. I'm not /that/ tired. Sleeping is boring. Seriously, it loses its appeal after the first few days. Trust me, I know the people I've slept with. Like I said, I go for quality. I mean, I might have had a few 9s, but I've never dipped lower than that. Yeah, well, one of the reasons I learned to sneak out a little quieter - to avoid shit like that again. Experienced or not, it sounds like you could've used someone to break you back into the world of hooking up - and what better way to start than me? Although there is that saying about saving the best till last. I said I tried whips /once/, moron, and I wasn't into it.

Bas: Didn't say that I couldn't be, but I'm not gonna die from having sex. Like you'll have any say what goes on my grave, unless it involves a poem about how hot I look naked. I'll draft something up for you, too. It'll probably involve chaps. You haven't seen me in weeks. For all you know, I look perfectly fuckable. I've seen the shows - I read /some/ of the books, but honestly, I'm not really into glorified food porn, so I gave up. No, you chose the old woman. "Girl" isn't the right way to describe her.

Bas: I wouldn't go that far. His ass /does/ rival mine, but I still think I've got the edge. Please - Blaine's everyone's type. You sure about that? I mean, I've known the guy since high school, Brodes. Plenty of time to corrupt him on some level. I have my ways.

Bas: Well, you could, but the question is - would it be as fun as talking to/about me? I doubt it. Who says you can't have it both ways? Now, Brodes, don't tell me you're going back in the closet. Sleeping with just girls is no fun. I /could/ stop answering, but where's the fun in that? As you keep insisting on reminding me, /I'm/ stuck inside with nowhere to go. Question is - what's your excuse?

Bas: What I had in mind didn't really involve mayonnaise, but I know that sometimes you get easily confused. She won't have /time/ to eat. They're /kids/ - they don't need to learn that shit until college, and it's really not all that hard to bend over in front of someone. I don't need Reese Witherspoon teaching me how to do it.

Brody: Fine, fine-- we can get you a bunch of mirrors so you can always see yourself fucking straining and hot and sweaty with this sensual sex monkey keening all over you. Better? But Bas-- the whole point of this was the fact that you're on your back for the next week-- and not in a good way. So you're not getting relief. We were trying to create a scenario that made it more manageable, remember? Not to get you fucked. So we found you someone that could manage that level or restraint that would drool and lave all over you without actually getting you off-- because you're sick and can't get off right now. So rather than put you at risk by giving in to his base instincts and spreading you open and just fucking slamming into you so hard that you can taste him cumming, he's choosing to wait for you. It's kind of romantic, really.

Brody: You only think that because you're only hearing one person in this conversation-- lots of people at work think this whole thing is hilarious. But even if they didn't, isn't it more important for me to find me funny? I'm awesome. Of course you do-- seriously, Kurt's just a kid, Bas-- you really don't need to be so hard on him. I mean, I know that's the only type of //hard// you can manage right now, but still XD

Brody: You're a Julie fan? Damn, that's sort of cute, peacock-- now I'm going to have to put together a compilation to have someone follow you around with at school. Hide a running playlist in your classroom... You do seem to enjoy your thwarted Nazis. That's true-- you'd be stuck with Annie and The Wizard of Oz and Chicago-- neither of which featured Nazis. Very disappointing. Okay-- so now Sleeping Beauty plotline in your South Park movie. Got it. Well, technically you //don't//, since you've just met them XD But yeah, I get your point, and if you think that there are enough 10s to keep up with your lifestyle, I'll believe you. Trust me-- sneaking out of the state was the only way to avoid it. Considering you were still a barely-drinking Bas, I would have felt bad for taking advantage of your innocence, but I appreciate the thought. God, I hope you're not my last, Bas-- that would just be depressing as hell. No offense. Uh huh-- just the once; not into it. Got it ;)

Brody: You could die from over-exerting yourself, punk. That's how people die in marathons-- their hearts give out. And you're sick, so sex would be your marathon, and then I'd catch all sorts of flack that, let's be honest, wouldn't be //that// great to begin with. Well then how can I say I told you so if you're dead and I can't write it on your tombstone? And thank you-- I will not be responsible for your boasting from the grave. Your body won't fit in the casket with your head still inflating. The chaps again Bas? Seriously, maybe I'll just buy you a pair and //they// can relieve that frustration for you. I know what sick looks like-- I don't need to see you daily to know how crappy you still look. So you've seen the shows, but you didn't follow "You murdered and raped my sister" between the bouts of, you know, murdering and raping? And then DYING? Were you having sex while you were watching? No-- my choice were the Tyrell siblings, and I chose the girl. I said if I were //you//, I would choose the old lady, since she wouldn't split me in half, first with her dick and then with her sword. And plus SHE'S NOT DEAD.

Brody: Yes-- your ass is straight as an edge. Definitely shapeless, especially compared to Blaine. I don't know-- I feel like I'd be corrupting him or something. He's just young, you know? The guy doesn't have a favorite sex position, for pete's sake. Takes off from the physical appeal. Yeah, I'm sure //some// ways-- just not all of them.

Brody: I guess that's up for debate. I mean, no one's projecting their freaky kinks at me if I'm talking to normal people at least. I was never in the closet, asshat. I was just kind of standing unawares in the doorway. And quitting this tete de tete with you is hardly shuffling back inside. I'm on lunch.

Brody: Well, I figured you had that weird thing about food play, so maybe you could make use of her excessive condiments. So you're going to reduce her to fainting from hypoglycemia? Rude. So you're saying you never batted your eyelashes to get what you wanted until college? Why do I doubt that?

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: Give me strength so I don't kill a bitch Janis: serious Jimmy: 💪🏆 Jimmy: I can't fuck you if you're in prison, remember Jimmy: unless this is you proposing Jimmy: so romantic 💕 Janis: Can't believe you won't fake marry me Janis: 💔 Jimmy: never said I wouldn't Jimmy: you haven't fake asked Janis: sure, trust you to wanna be savage about it Janis: dickhead 😏 Jimmy: I'm giving you chance to be #goals and 💍 me Janis: that's the vows is it Janis: be #goals forever and ever Jimmy: do you take this girl to be your lawfully wedded dickhead Jimmy: yeah alright Janis: 😂 Janis: such an idiot Janis: but at least you're funny Janis: teach Mia something, yeah Jimmy: no tah Jimmy: I know the kind of shit she wants me to teach her Janis: 😒 don't Janis: I'm already this close to actually smacking her without that mental image Jimmy: wait til I'm off work before you knock her out Jimmy: if you love me Janis: as bad as Grace Janis: start selling tickets Jimmy: we all wanna be there with pom poms & 🍿 Jimmy: don't be shy Janis: yeah I'm so sure Janis: you'll get your chance to wear the skirt one day, babe Janis: don't worry Jimmy: 💔💔🎻🎻🎻 Janis: mm Jimmy: I'm gonna show up & 💍 when you're about to smack her Jimmy: put you off 'cause you don't want me there Janis: you probably would Janis: love nothing more than shaming me Janis: but I ain't giving you my location so good 🍀 Jimmy: & you love the angle but fine I won't get down on my knees for you Jimmy: spoilsport Jimmy: pissed on your own parade there, girl Janis: shut up Janis: distracting me Janis: gotta be on my A game, boy Jimmy: you're too busy shutting her up to make me Jimmy: & she don't need your A game Jimmy: a breeze would turn her bones to dust Janis: you on my side or not, boy Janis: ain't a tag-team effort between you and her is it Jimmy: nah I'm dumping you for her & this is how I'm letting you know Janis: ah well Janis: your girlfriend is about to get fucked up Janis: soz about it Jimmy: she can lick her own wounds 🐍 perks Jimmy: it's alright Janis: boring Janis: but if that's what you're into these days Jimmy: once I teach her what to do with that 👅 I'm set for life Janis: disgusting Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: 😑 Janis: go away Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: how many rounds you going? Jimmy: come see me after Janis: you're rude Janis: but like you said, ain't gonna take much, is it Janis: sure Jimmy: good Jimmy: I miss you Janis: I miss you too Janis: this is all easier to ignore when you're about Jimmy: I'm going nowhere Jimmy: still smack her though 'cause neither is she Janis: 👍 Janis: long time coming Janis: but I'll try not to kill her Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I'll help you hide the body, don't worry about it Jimmy: #peakromance Janis: have to be good Janis: it's how her dad shows he cares, appaz Jimmy: smacking her about? Jimmy: #relatable Jimmy: or hiding the bodies of her enemies Janis: 😬😂 Janis: nah though, threatening legal action if anyone dares to talk back to her, never mind smack her one Jimmy: the bodies thing is probably true too Jimmy: I ain't seen Gracie for a while is all I'm saying Janis: 🤞 Janis: sadly, 'less Mia gave her wifi in her grave Jimmy: what's the point of 💀 if you can't liveblog it #duh Janis: turn your location on girl Janis: maybe dig you up 'fore you suffocate Jimmy: might do Jimmy: might not do Janis: obvs gotta make her promise to change her ways Jimmy: 👍🍀 Janis: you're right Janis: maybe just let her 👻 Jimmy: not an invitation for me & her to be #couplegoals though Jimmy: your 👻 lad only Janis: swear to God she better keep her ghost hands to herself Janis: or I'll kill her properly Janis: send her 😈🔥 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: she'll be waiting for me there getting more 💕😍 then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: she can wait Janis: you said you're staying Jimmy: I am Jimmy: unless you send me away Janis: not gonna send you to hell Janis: have to fuck me off a lot more than this Janis: soz to disappoint Jimmy: not to be that dickhead but Jimmy: it's hell wherever you ain't Jimmy: so not much to do Janis: baby Janis: you're so genuinely #goals sometimes it hurts Jimmy: I'm not actually trying to distract you right now Jimmy: I swear Jimmy: I'm just Janis: hot Janis: I know Janis: ain't your fault, really Jimmy: I just love you Jimmy: & that is your fault Janis: I'll own it Jimmy: alright then Janis: not just 'cos I love you too Jimmy: course not Jimmy: but it'll do me that you do love me too Janis: you know I do Janis: a lot Jimmy: gimme more though Janis: how Jimmy: I'll let you know Jimmy: other than accepting my proposal obviously Janis: alright 😏 Janis: please do Jimmy: 👌 Janis: right, this is actually happening Janis: accept the charges if I have to bell you from jail, yeah? Jimmy: I suppose Jimmy: make me feel like the tables have turned, yeah rich girl Janis: if you like Janis: roleplay, fun Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: keeping it #goals baby Janis: [fight] Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 💪🏆 Jimmy: 🥇🥇🥇🥇 Janis: you know it Jimmy: start running now Jimmy: 👮🚔 Janis: way ahead of you, babe Janis: as per Jimmy: #duh Jimmy: SUCH an athlete Janis: you'd reckon so if you saw her face Janis: that felt good Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: how long you got left of your shift Jimmy: hour & a half Jimmy: come here when you're done running victory laps Jimmy: I've saved my last break Janis: Good Janis: gotta channel this energy somewhere Janis: and I want you Jimmy: just don't get her blood on me Jimmy: this ain't the CG none of the customers are thick enough to believe it's Halloween Janis: 🤞 Janis: I'll clean up Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Jimmy: I wanna do it Jimmy: but we don't have time Janis: we'll make the most of what we do still Janis: don't be sad, baby Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I know but Jimmy: I want more time Janis: after Janis: not that long to wait Jimmy: it feels like Janis: always does Janis: whenever we have to be around other people even Jimmy: you reckon it's ever getting any easier or nah Jimmy: 'cause bit rude Janis: try and be less fuckable Janis: idk Jimmy: how Janis: alright bighead Janis: true but Janis: no one likes a showoff Jimmy: you do Janis: bit Jimmy: loads Janis: maybe Janis: if you really make the most of your break, like Jimmy: no challenge but still accepted Jimmy: I want you so much Janis: you know I love you Jimmy: I love you too Janis: I'm glad you exist Janis: everyone else is shit Jimmy: you Jimmy: you're the only one I care about Jimmy: let's go somewhere when I'm done here Jimmy: I'll call in sick tomorrow Jimmy: it don't even matter Janis: okay Janis: if you're sure obviously I want to Janis: where Jimmy: let's just not come back until my next shift Jimmy: fuck school Jimmy: where do you wanna go? Janis: yeah? Janis: I don't care Janis: anywhere with you Jimmy: we can just get on a train or whatever then Jimmy: I don't give a fuck either Janis: my nan and granddad have a caravan not far away Janis: but far enough Janis: might work Jimmy: is anyone else in your massive family likely to be using it Janis: eurgh Janis: shouldn't be but Janis: how to subtly check without telling everyone where we are 🙄 Jimmy: it's alright we'll just leave if anyone else turns up Janis: it'd only be nan and granddad in term time anyway so we've got good odds of being left alone Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: let's do it then Janis: okay Janis: I'll hang around 'til you finish then Janis: no point going home Jimmy: I'll have to Jimmy: pack a bag & chat to the kids about it Jimmy: but we can go after Janis: yeah Janis: 'course Janis: they'll be alright, yeah Jimmy: you want me to pack shit for you seeing as you ain't going home Jimmy: all I can do is let 'em know I ain't just fucking off Jimmy: my dad too I'll pen him a note so he don't bell the 👮🚔 Jimmy: It ain't gonna be good but neither is this, here now Janis: if you like Janis: I don't care but you might once I start to stink Janis: probably a plan Jimmy: I'll just throw you in the shower, girl 💪 Janis: like to see you try Janis: have you know I'm undefeated, boy Jimmy: then you'll see me try Jimmy: I'm ready Janis: you've always been a very gracious 🥈babe Jimmy: oi Jimmy: come here & call me a loser Janis: come on, there's no losers babe Jimmy: easy to say when you're the winner, babe Janis: how bad does losing feel though, really Janis: you know it's still good Jimmy: I'll show you in a bit Jimmy: 🥇 me Janis: 😏 Janis: we'll see then Jimmy: just remember to tell me how it feels, alright Janis: do my best Janis: you do make it hard to speak though sometimes so Jimmy: do my best Jimmy: please be on your way Janis: I am Janis: time me if you wanna Janis: 💪 Jimmy: 👌 nerd Janis: [5 mins or w/e] Janis: come out here and say that to my face Jimmy: [does] Janis: [kisses his face] Jimmy: [kisses her neck] Janis: [noise like oh hey] Jimmy: [tells her how long she took to get there cos also a nerd] Janis: [pouty like nu-uh!] Jimmy: [pouty lip thing for life] Janis: ['I missed you' and showing him] Jimmy: [says it back & likewise cos they don't have a lot of time] Janis: [enjoy lads] Janis: do you think I should go get some stuff Jimmy: you should stay with me Janis: okay Janis: go make me a drink then, boy Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [we know the drill he's making it but looking at her like 😍] Janis: you're cute Janis: I can't wait to go Jimmy: you Jimmy: you can go to mine & pack for us & make it quicker Janis: I could Janis: still have to talk to the kids though Jimmy: just don't pack the 🐶 Jimmy: can give 'em a ring though Jimmy: might not even be there Janis: 💔 but baby Janis: cool, long as you're sure Jimmy: [shrugs at her from behind the counter] Jimmy: it ain't gonna go decent however I say it Jimmy: so whatever Janis: you still wanna though Jimmy: we're going Jimmy: if I have to listen to every dickhead talking about your #girlfight for the next week I'll 💀💀💀 Janis: 🙄 Janis: she thought Janis: got the scratches to prove it Jimmy: sexy Jimmy: but it's not gonna convince me to stay here Janis: I ain't trying to convince you Jimmy: you've already convinced me to go Jimmy: I've got the marks to prove it too Janis: 😏 Janis: trust me, you had more fun than I did Janis: even if it was pretty satisfying Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: you'll have fun with me Jimmy: if you ain't had enough just now which 💔 Janis: never enough Janis: not a diss Janis: brag if anything, your speciality Jimmy: good save, girl Jimmy: come get your smoothie Janis: okay lemme just enjoy the view for a sec longer Janis: [then does] Jimmy: lemme just enjoy that view for as long as possible Janis: knew there was a reason you were asking me to leave Jimmy: [is 😏] Janis: [keeps looking back] Janis: stop looking at me like that Jimmy: [gives her an even hotter look instead cos he be like that] Jimmy: miss you already Janis: I definitely miss you more Janis: only got yourself to blame Jimmy: sounds like a challenge that Janis: challenge to behave Janis: for once Jimmy: 💔💔 Jimmy: I give you a minute before you're changing your mind & wanting me not to Janis: 💪 Janis: challenge accepted Janis: I'm tough, tah Jimmy: ⏲ Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: I only wanna be 💕 Janis: you're rude Jimmy: if you like Janis: you know how bad I want you but we can't Janis: so very rude Janis: actually Jimmy: we can Jimmy: just Jimmy: another ⏲ going for that Janis: it's not long is it Janis: make it worth it Jimmy: when you've got to mine, packed and 🐶💕 I'll be done Jimmy: promise Janis: okay Janis: we can do this Janis: think how long we're gonna have Janis: just us Janis: and nothing to do Jimmy: just you to do Janis: not a chore, is it? Jimmy: ask me at the end of the week Janis: 😂 piss off Jimmy: just saying Jimmy: you love dickheads but do you love 'em 24/7 Janis: like we spend loads of time apart as is 😏 Janis: don't worry, there's more than one room if you're testing me Jimmy: 😂 piss off Janis: but I ain't getting in those tiny twin beds so Janis: be nice Jimmy: I am Jimmy: always nice me Janis: nah Janis: but I wouldn't like you if you were Jimmy: I reckon I could still get you to like me Janis: really? Janis: is this you admitting you are a bit of a 🤓 Jimmy: I'm admitting nowt til we're out of reach of the 👮🚔 Jimmy: life of crime starts so soon Janis: watch out Skerries Janis: 👊 Jimmy: Bonnie & Clyde 39 Janis: I'll straighten my hair so I can get my #whitepassing priviledge then 👍 Jimmy: weren't there a promise about never doing nowt like that Jimmy: except you reckoned you never would anyway Jimmy: don't 💔 me that ain't part of the crime spree Janis: well excuse me for not wanting to be shot, white boy 😂 Jimmy: if you ain't willing to die for me, Juliet we can call this off right here Janis: I thought I told you to stop being so suicide-pact-y Janis: don't want anyone to actually ring garda, like Jimmy: you say suicide pacty I say #ultiimategoals Jimmy: but FINE 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: don't Janis: actually giving out gracie vibes and terrifying me Jimmy: #whenyouvetakenthewrongtwinontherun Janis: ask her Janis: sure she's still up for it Jimmy: don't Jimmy: course she is Janis: you're such a cocky dickhead Jimmy: why you like me Janis: 😒 Janis: why she does too, obviously Jimmy: ain't my fault you two are #twinning with your tastes, girl Janis: fuck off Janis: you ain't had to misfortune of meeting any of her exes Jimmy: just the one Janis: he don't count Jimmy: my KO still does though Jimmy: & do any of 'em count as exes if she's fucking 'em still Jimmy: arguably not Janis: shut up Janis: don't be gross Jimmy: calm down Jimmy: I ain't suggesting you join in or owt Jimmy: me either Janis: why are we talking about her Jimmy: you brought her up Jimmy: & her exes Janis: well now I'm ending it Jimmy: alright Janis: take the dog for a shit whilst I'm at it Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: write my dad a note Jimmy: such a way with words you Janis: ha Janis: funny Janis: he'll say I've kidnapped you just to fuck w me Jimmy: nah he'll say I've legged it Jimmy: loves to tell the others I don't give a shit & he does Jimmy: he can't turn 'em against you with that big house & dog training 🏆🏆 Janis: can definitely buy love Jimmy: if not love then less hatred Janis: works for me Jimmy: works for Ian too Jimmy: fucked himself on respect though Jimmy: don't have enough of a wage packet for that Janis: 💔 Janis: don't know how many times I've told him we could be bezzie mates Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: you're fucking the wrong family member for that one Jimmy: even if you were doing him it'd be a stretch Janis: why you tryna hurt me rn Jimmy: save him a job Jimmy: since he don't do the ones he has Janis: too good, you Jimmy: yeah Janis: tragedy Jimmy: 🎭 Jimmy: let's say it's a comedy Janis: if you like Janis: again, works for me Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: you ain't unlocked enough 💕 or 💸 to reveal my tragic backstory, soz Janis: backatcha Jimmy: works for me Janis: she's pissed everywhere Janis: 😑 Janis: gonna need to start charging more Jimmy: send Ian the bill Jimmy: he'll love that Jimmy: also feel free to leave it for him to sort Janis: we all know she's your 💕 Jimmy: yours Janis: sure Janis: whatever you say Janis: I'll keep your secret Jimmy: just 'cause you've given yours away by being so blatant Jimmy: leave it & me out tah Janis: you wish Janis: 🖕 Janis: such a mystery Jimmy: you wish, Jillian Janis: mhmm Janis: now who's blatant Jimmy: open book with a forgettable name you Janis: then forget it Jimmy: I do Jimmy: loads Jimmy: just happened then Janis: forget us going away if you're gonna be such a twat Jimmy: what are you on about Jimmy: I'm a twat everywhere & anywhere Janis: whatever Janis: go do some work Janis: ain't in the mood Jimmy: you're not serious Janis: we can still go Janis: just Jimmy: what Janis: I don't know Janis: genuinely Janis: forget it Jimmy: has that worked any time you've said it Jimmy: or made things weird Janis: so it's all my fault Janis: cool Jimmy: did I say that Jimmy: nah I said telling me to forget it ain't gonna make it happen Janis: you also said I make things weird all the time so Jimmy: you do Jimmy: so do I Janis: not what you said Jimmy: you were being weird before I said it so Jimmy: what's the problem Janis: I just don't want to think about my family Janis: let alone talk about them Janis: that's what this is about, alright Jimmy: it weren't like I wanna hear about 'em Jimmy: no begging here Janis: don't then Janis: hear enough without you adding your voice to the conversation Jimmy: a conversation you started Jimmy: but yeah whatever I'll shut up Jimmy: like you said, loads of work I could be doing Janis: if you like Janis: bye then Jimmy: if you like Jimmy: which you obviously do Janis: I'm telling you I don't Jimmy: you're also telling me to shut up Jimmy: so what the fuck do you want me to do Janis: why do I have to know Janis: work it out Jimmy: why do I have to work it out Jimmy: like this is a challenge all of a sudden Janis: it is Janis: ask anyone Janis: if you don't want to then don't Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: no it's not Jimmy: if you don't want to push me away then don't Janis: as if it's as easy as choosing Jimmy: it's trying which ain't easy but what the fuck is Jimmy: this? Jimmy: I don't think so Janis: I am trying Jimmy: good Jimmy: when you wanna try harder you know where I am Janis: fuck off Janis: you patronizing prick Jimmy: that's the easy route right there Jimmy: take it Jimmy: go on Janis: no it ain't Janis: 'cos I need to go Jimmy: then go Jimmy: like I said, easy Janis: I wanted to go with you Janis: dickhead Jimmy: I was gonna go with you dickhead Janis: well you ruined it Janis: yeah, you Jimmy: fuck you Janis: fuck you first Jimmy: whatever Jimmy: blame me Jimmy: on you go Janis: yeah whatever Janis: take what I can get Jimmy: lucky you Janis: 🍀 Janis: call me rich girl whilst you're at it Janis: hit all the  fuck you marks Jimmy: so you can blame me for what you've got & I've not Jimmy: yeah alright Janis: it's not me that brings it up Janis: constantly Jimmy: you don't wanna bring anything up Jimmy: I got that Janis: oh I'm sorry but you established we ain't ready for the tragic backstory did you not Jimmy: & that means we'll just fuck forever & never talk about anything, yeah Jimmy: that & you can run off whenever the fuck you need Janis: you said you don't want to talk about them either so why the hell does this matter even Janis: and I keep saying, I'm not going without you Janis: I did it once to you Janis: once Jimmy: I could give a fuck about them Jimmy: you're the one being a dickhead Jimmy: what matters is you could go whenever you like Jimmy: I'm the one who has to jump through a million hoops to do anything Jimmy: that I need Janis: Okay I'm sorry that you have family and obligations Janis: I already felt bad, actually Janis: I'm not forcing you to go Jimmy: nah you're just stopping me Jimmy: when I want to Jimmy: & fuck knows why even Janis: I ain't said you can't Jimmy: but I can't Janis: not because of me Jimmy: it's all my fault, you've already said Janis: no Janis: not what I meant Janis: 'cos of the kids Jimmy: it ain't their fault I ain't going Jimmy: or if I can't Jimmy: they didn't ask for this Janis: I didn't say fault Janis: it's just why Jimmy: it ain't why Jimmy: that's 'cause of my mum & dad Janis: well, yeah Janis: alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: this is stupid Jimmy: it's been stupid for ages Janis: then stop being so Janis: pedantic Jimmy: stop being a dickhead Janis: fine Jimmy: 👌 Janis: is it Janis: or nah Jimmy: gotta be Janis: it don't Jimmy: I don't wanna fight with you any more Jimmy: so yeah it does Janis: is that enough Janis: serious Jimmy: like I said, gotta be Janis: Jim Janis: come on, that's bullshit Janis: we're not doing that Jimmy: you can bring as much bollocks as you want to this convo & say that to me Jimmy: alright then Janis: I mean Janis: fucking hell Janis: let me fix it Jimmy: you can't put all the blame on me & then be the one to fix it Jimmy: that don't even make sense Janis: I didn't! Janis: you just keep saying I did but Janis: I ain't trying to Jimmy: I ruined it, you said Janis: I didn't mean it Janis: obviously I did but sorry for not wanting to own that immediately Jimmy: have it how you like Jimmy: I don't care Jimmy: I already told you, I don't wanna fight about this Janis: stop saying that Janis: that don't fix anything Janis: it's as bad as forget it Jimmy: I don't know how to fix this Janis: so fuck forever yeah Jimmy: don't say that Jimmy: I didn't Janis: not to start this up again but you definitely did say that Janis: I don't want to Janis: but I don't know how to fix it either Jimmy: I just want you Jimmy: you know that Jimmy: I love you Janis: I love you Janis: I'll fix it somehow Janis: whatever Janis: whatever it takes not whatever Jimmy: tell me where to meet you Jimmy: as soon as I'm done here Jimmy: we can just Janis: I'm sorry Janis: for fucking Janis: the hassle Jimmy: I'm sorry for my bit of it Jimmy: I didn't mean to make you kick off Jimmy: or owt Janis: you don't need to Janis: it was stupid Janis: you didn't do anything Jimmy: It didn't leave it out though Jimmy: I could've Janis: you were just trying Janis: but alright, accepted, like Jimmy: give Mia another smack Jimmy: you'll feel better again Jimmy: & we can start over Janis: 'til her dad murders me or reads me my rights or some shit Jimmy: I believe in you, girl Janis: thanks Janis: don't deserve you Jimmy: yeah you do Jimmy: & if her dad kicks off I'll come knock him out Janis: hot Jimmy: you are Janis: nah Janis: I'm a pain in the arse Janis: naggy bitch Jimmy: you can be all of 'em Jimmy: it don't cancel out Janis: 😂 Janis: tah darling Jimmy: it's alright Janis: I miss you Janis: I've cleaned up and walked her though so Janis: welcome Ian Jimmy: I appreciate it Jimmy: I'll show you Jimmy: just come back Janis: you want me to Janis: I've already fucked your shift enough, I know Jimmy: I don't care Jimmy: I'm nearly done anyway Janis: okay then Janis: coming Jimmy: if you don't run I could be finished by the time you get here Jimmy: maybe Janis: be hard Janis: athlete that I am but Janis: take it slow Jimmy: do it for me baby Jimmy: when I see you I'll have to kiss you whether I'm still working or not Janis: um why are you actually being so fucking Janis: right now Janis: are you doing it on purpose Jimmy: I miss you too Jimmy: that's it Janis: thanks for not letting me ruin it Jimmy: I promised Jimmy: tah for not letting me Janis: I promised too Janis: know I make it difficult but Janis: you know Jimmy: it ain't like I make it any less Jimmy: you know I'd rather fight with you than be around anyone else Jimmy: just don't leave Janis: I ain't trying to give you anything else in your life to worry about or stress or Janis: but I won't Janis: swear on my life Jimmy: I worry about you all the time Jimmy: that's just Jimmy: giving a shit Jimmy: I'm never gonna stop doing that Janis: I'm Janis: not used to liking that Janis: or wanting it Jimmy: I know Jimmy: I'm not used to doing it 'cause I want to though so I get it Jimmy: you're not an obligation to me & that's weird but Jimmy: how I like it Janis: 'cause Janis: the way family 'cares' Janis: it does fuck all Janis: makes everything worse, usually Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: you know how my dad 'cares' so Jimmy: but you're more than family to me Janis: yeah Janis: I feel it too Jimmy: can we still go Janis: yes Janis: 'course Janis: we both still need to Janis: even if you wanna ignore me the whole time, you have to come Jimmy: that isn't what I want Jimmy: I want Jimmy: you Janis: good Janis: that's all I want too Jimmy: I'm gonna make everything better again Jimmy: we'll just leave everything behind like we planned Janis: it'll be good Janis: we're so good Janis: honest Jimmy: I love you so fucking much, alright Jimmy: forever still Janis: forever and ever and ever okay Jimmy: I swear I'm never gonna leave you Jimmy: I don't care if it's hard sometimes Jimmy: it's the easiest thing I've got Jimmy: & everything I want Janis: I love you Janis: I'm not losing this Janis: you Jimmy: me either Jimmy: I need you Janis: its mutual Janis: you know Janis: so fucking much Janis: I don't even know what I did before Janis: or how Janis: for so long Jimmy: I know Jimmy: & I need you to know too that it ain't always gonna be like this Jimmy: we can leave for real soon Jimmy: we won't have to come back Janis: you mean it Janis: 'cos don't say it otherwise I can't Jimmy: I'm serious Jimmy: you might have to wait longer than you wanna but Jimmy: if you can then we can Janis: 'course I can Jimmy: not gonna be this young forever Jimmy: 👵👴💕 Janis: that's all I've wanted since 👶 basically so Janis: and yeah, know you're buzzing for that Janis: only reason you're sticking around, yeah Jimmy: when's your birthday Jimmy: we can go after that Janis: 13th October Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you reckon they'll give less of a shit, like legally Janis: 'cos we'll be 16 Jimmy: the 👮🚔 will be if Ian gives 'em a bell Jimmy: that works for me Jimmy: he'll only bother when he figures out that we're staying away Janis: yeah Janis: exactly Janis: can't make you come home Jimmy: it don't look good your ex & your kid both doing one but we'll be long gone by then Jimmy: so he can be as fuming as he wants Janis: and give a shit about making him look good Jimmy: the kids will still have me on the end of the phone Jimmy: that's all that matters Janis: yeah Janis: we can make it work Janis: we will Jimmy: we have to Janis: promise Jimmy: trial run starts in a bit then Janis: it's easy Janis: if you can hack it being a bit rough in the beginning Jimmy: I can handle you being a massive dickhead so I reckon I've got it Janis: 😏 okay Janis: letting that slide Jimmy: 💕 Janis: you're allowed like Janis: three lowblows, I reckon Janis: then it's business as usual Jimmy: how many have I done? Janis: I'll be fair and count from that one Jimmy: alright Janis: don't waste 'em, babe Jimmy: don't sound like me that Janis: just sayin' Janis: got a week to deal with me, you know Janis: s'a long time Jimmy: not long enough Jimmy: I don't wanna come back & we ain't even left Janis: I know Janis: if we had somewhere we could be alone proper Janis: it wouldn't be as shit, still a lot but you know Jimmy: really fucked you over by making Dublin into 'something' Jimmy: no squats about now Janis: defs is, just gotta be in the right wrong postcode Jimmy: you reckon? Jimmy: sort it out then, rich girl Janis: yeah, gonna need to kill that nickname or we'll both be 👻 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: no promises Janis: not saying you have to remember my name Janis: not going that hard Jimmy: if you find us somewhere I will Janis: hold you to that Jimmy: you can Janis: I'm outside if you can have a quick 🚬 Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: gimme a sec to finish this bollocks & then it's over with Janis: 👍 ain't going anywhere without you Jimmy: good Jimmy: don't Jimmy: [after a realistic number of minutes to get shit done, a wild Jimothy appears] Janis: [leaning on the wall like a cool bitch just like sup] Jimmy: [kisses her like he said he would as soon as he saw her & it's such a good one like use that wall boy] Janis: ['well, shit'] Jimmy: [is just looking at her like 😍] Janis: [kisses him now she knows they're good, pulling him closer always] Jimmy: [just let them have a lil make out moment cos deserved] Janis: [then taking his hand like c'mon 'cos excited to gtfo] Jimmy: [handholding & walking but he's also 🚬 cos hasn't had chance since when] Janis: ['should we go shop and get load of ready meals for the kids?] Jimmy: [is looking at her even more hearteyes cos that's why he loves you bitch that's such a good idea & so nice bye, does remember to nod though eventually] Janis: [smiles like cool 'cos she ain't gonna see it as a big thing obvs, 'yeah, they ain't all unhealthy as fuck nowadays but even Bobs could do that if he needed so'] Jimmy: [kisses her again cos so nice & also her smiling kills him always so] Jimmy: what do we need? Janis: not much Janis: we'll have a bed and water and all the shit we need in the caravan so Janis: cash for food and some clothes, if you insist, like Jimmy: easy Jimmy: no need to piss about for ages Janis: [nods] Janis: seriously, enough of that as is Jimmy: yeah Janis: [keeps looking at him 'cos can't help it] Jimmy: [more kisses cos he can't help that either] Janis: [puts her forehead to his and is just saying thank you over and over quietly like] Jimmy: [says ILY over and over & also sorry because well] Janis: ['don't be' and more desperate kisses] Jimmy: [literally the hottest make out in the middle of the street or wherever like] Janis: [tryna compose herself so they can do this shopping and go to his but damn] Jimmy: [isn't helping by being hot af excuse him everyone] Janis: can you save this at least 'til we're on the train Janis: killing me, boy Jimmy: [looks at her all innocently but he knows exactly what he's been doing] Jimmy: 😇 me Janis: [gives him a look like hmm but not actually mad so starts smiling with it] Janis: hate you Jimmy: I hate you too, baby Jimmy: so much Janis: [makes ugh! noise out loud 'cos feeling that #frustrated by you rn boy] Jimmy: [is 😏] Janis: just you wait Jimmy: I'm already waiting Jimmy: come here Janis: [does 'cos ain't too proud lbr] Jimmy: [more of the same cos no chill] Janis: ['Jesus'] Janis: are you ever gonna let me live Jimmy: not if it means I have to stop Jimmy: this Jimmy: [even more] Janis: ['Baby, please-'] Jimmy: ['say it'] Janis: [more noises 'cos dying] Jimmy: [goes as hard as he can considering where they are] Janis: ['Okay, okay, fuck! Jimmy, please take me somewhere right now so you can do more. I need it. You.'] Jimmy: [god knows where but he does lead her off somewhere cos same obviously he's made that pretty clear] Janis: [enjoy lads] Jimmy: [& now focus please thanks so much places to be] Janis: [🤤 through life 'cos blissed out can probably leave this here now]

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: You okay? Buster: You look better than, but I know you know it Rio: I'm better than too Rio: I'm so glad we did it Buster: Me too Buster: Even if I am gonna have to glass granddad with my juice in a minute, like Rio: Power move, babe Rio: can't have a day off from being a landlord, obvs Buster: Don't dish it out if you can't take the backlash, old man Buster: So, you and Nance? Buster: How does it feel to be in love again? Rio: 😂 Rio: You know, got it's benefits Rio: she insisted on buying this dress, like Buster: Trust her to find somewhere to buy something like that around here Buster: Actual talent Buster: Don't tell her I said so, obviously but Rio: Obviously Rio: Step off my woman, tbh Buster: If she really is your woman keep her on the juice so she'll behave herself with me Buster: Spare me the telling off Rio: People'll think I'm tryna set up a 12 steps programme, like Buster: 😇 Buster: Not to be that selfish cunt now that we've done what we came for, but when can we go? Rio: I feel it Rio: it's exhausting being the centre of attention but someone's gotta, babe Rio: Soon Buster: If you're actually tired we can go right now Buster: Just tell me Buster: I won't even sulk that my idea hasn't got off the ground Rio: It is a good excuse Rio: We gotta make the most of it Buster: Exactly Buster: And then we'll go and I'll take you shopping, outshining my sister and making you happy at the same time Rio: You really need to, don't you? 😏 Buster: 'Course Buster: There's so much you and the baby both need Rio: Right now? 😋 Buster: Yeah Rio: He better not plan on going anywhere yet Rio: but what do I need, baby? Buster: You tell me, angel Buster: Other than the bikinis I already promised you Buster: There's a whole list, I bet Buster: Really think about it Rio: That is true, like no chance of wearing one today but I was popping out of that damn dress like no one's business Rio: I'll be pondering Buster: I'll just be thinking about that Buster: Don't mind me Rio: Gotta do something whilst I'm making my list, checking it twice Buster: I'll check you as many times as this lot will let me before taking the piss Buster: More than twice, at least Rio: I believe in you, babe Rio: we've had enough practice Rio: take piss all you want but you weren't that smart then, lads Buster: 😏 Buster: Speaking of, what do you reckon the chances are of us sneaking off for a little while Buster: I just wanna be alone with you Rio: Hmm Rio: I'm always up for trying if you are Buster: Well, I'm ready when you are then Rio: Speak of the devil Rio: No offense, Ma Rio: bear with Buster: 😒 Rio: Thought you loved being golden boy, babe? Buster: Mine's texting me now, I think you actually summoned her by mentioning the d word Rio: Give me the gist, yeah? Hope she's not vying for round two, like Buster: Nah, she's just checking in Buster: Weird but true Rio: Feeling the good vibes from here Rio: celebrating hard enough Buster: Or she only wants me to be at risk of bad vibes if she's the one giving them out Buster: Either way Rio: Not now, baby Rio: it's only gonna be good from here Buster: Yeah it will Rio: Literally Rio: I can't believe it Rio: no more being apart Rio: no more secret anything Buster: It doesn't feel real yet Buster: That we get to have all that Buster: Like properly, not just for a few weeks or something Rio: I know Rio: Actual forever Rio: No takebacks now Buster: If I smile any wider my sister is gonna take a pic of me and keep that forever 'cause who'd have thought they'd see the day Buster: Moody cunt I was Rio: You're so beautiful though Rio: can I frame it? Buster: I know you're trying to make me blush now so you can frame that Rio: I miss you Rio: how many times and ways can you say congrats, 'cos reckon I've heard 'em all, twice Buster: Same Buster: I think I'd rather a fuck you at this point Buster: Come sit on my lap, make them come to you if they must Rio: You cannot say fuck and lap in the same breath and expect me not to wanna turn you on in return now Rio: so, coming 😋 Buster: That wasn't even intentional, I just miss you too Buster: My mind can't help going there, clearly Rio: I know Rio: Shamelessly dirty mind Rio: been being good for too long now Buster: Yeah Buster: All day I've just been staring at your tits and thinking selfishly about how much I wanna suck on them before he can and the piercing has to come out Rio: 😩 DADDY Rio: Don't reckon we could get away with it, do you Rio: say we're practising Buster: I mean, I don't care if everyone watches so don't actually need to get away with anything Rio: That's so Rio: You're so Rio: Stop 🤤 Buster: I can't Buster: 'Cause you're so Buster: I guess I'll have to compromise with an earlobe for now Rio: How does that feel so good Rio: Shit, you're gonna make me moan Buster: Do it Buster: Everyone's being so loud you could probably scream my name out before any head's turned Rio: I know that's what you want Buster: Then give me it Rio: Loud enough? Buster: Not yet Buster: But maybe if I do this Rio: Baby please Buster: Please do it again, okay sure Rio: Please bite me Rio: quit all that teasing shit you're killing me Buster: Better? Rio: It's a start Rio: Best you can do here, in front of everyone, I think 😉 Buster: Is that a challenge? Buster: You know I take my dares very seriously, always have Rio: I'm gonna need proof of that Rio: been a while since then, remind me Buster: Alright Buster: You might wanna hold on to the edge of this seat Buster: Just saying Rio: I wanna hold onto you Buster: Hold on tight then Buster: Don't give us away or I'll have to stop Rio: I need this more than I wanna be loud Rio: Trust me Rio: I'll be the perfect angel Buster: We'll see Buster: You wanted a reminder, yeah? I'm just not going as far back in time yet, just a few weeks back for now Rio: I remember Rio: That was a good time Buster: Now, how did I begin? Hmmm Buster: Was it like this or this Rio: Oh Rio: Here, lemme help, if I just move a tiny bit forward like this Rio: that's definitely it Buster: Babe, you're so helpful Buster: But I think it was more like Rio: Yeah, wow, okay Rio: Maybe you're right, babe Buster: I'm still not sure though Buster: Let's try this Buster: Just Rio: Buster Buster: Rio Rio: Slow down if you don't want me to make a scene, this feels too good already Buster: So what you're saying is, if I want you to make a scene I should do this? Buster: Or maybe Rio: People are looking baby Buster: Let them Rio: Oh my God Buster: I'm gonna have to take you to the bathroom, aren't I? You're just feeling so hot and faint all of a sudden, like Buster: It's unavoidable Rio: I don't know if I can move yet Buster: I'll carry you, it's okay Buster: Come on Rio: Will you fuck me properly in there? Rio: Can't promise you cocaine this time but you'll definitely get some Buster: And I'll barricade the door too Buster: I can promise you privacy and all the reminders you want Rio: I love you Rio: I wanna remember every single time you've made me cum Buster: I love you too Buster: Try and look weak as I loudly make our excuses for the rest of the table Buster: Then we can focus on how you actually feel Rio: Won't be too hard Rio: always weak for you, like Buster: And you do look very 😳 Buster: Hold on Rio: That's your fault entirely, you knew what you was doing Buster: I haven't even started yet Rio: Make me so messy we can't say bye Rio: then take me home and do it all again Buster: You know I can't say no to you Rio: 😊 Rio: You know you don't want to Buster: I really don't Buster: I might be the one literally carrying you halfway across this bar right now but I'm so weak Rio: It's been a long day, baby Rio: this will make you forget all about it Buster: Feel my heart Buster: I need this Buster: I need you Rio: You've got me, forever Rio: I'm gonna take care of you Buster: We're gonna take care of each other Buster: Just don't let me go to hell for how concerned some of that lot are that you're actually sick Rio: They're gonna know how much better I feel soon, don't worry Rio: I'll put their mind's at, probably not ease but you know Buster: I love you Rio: I love you babe Buster: Time to find out how easy your new dress is to take off Rio: Well the girl in the shop had to help me get it on so Rio: but I believe in you Buster: You should Buster: I'm very determined Rio: I know, it's one of the things I like about you Buster: Give me the list while I strip you, see how many we get through Rio: Damn Rio: Okay Rio: You're smart but so hardworking with it, you're hot as fuck and the best lay ever but really fucking beautiul and sweet too, you're honest and I never have to second-guess what you say, or think there's stuff you aren't Rio: You're the best protector, you get me and you make me wanna be better 'cos you believe I can, you're never boring Buster: As much as I wanna hear more, I did it Buster: So phones down Rio: 😩🤤 okay daddy, long as you keep laying down the law too Buster: Promise Rio: 👑 Buster: Now do what you're told Rio: 😋 Buster: I'm serious, if I have to take it away from you you're gonna be so sorry Rio: Make me sorry 'cos I'm not Rio: At all Buster: Fine Buster: If that's how you want it Rio: 🙌 Buster: [Saucy behavior ensues] Rio: Well, this isn't shaming at all Rio: why'd you let him stop you? Buster: Would you honestly rather I didn't? Rio: I don't care really, even if everyone fully heard Buster: Good, 'cause it's a fair assumption Buster: You sounded so good though Buster: I hope they did Rio: I felt so good Rio: it's alright for you, if you'd drink it, they'd buy you a pint, like 😏 Buster: Use your pregnancy excuse? Buster: The hormones, like Rio: 😂 for being a needy slut? Rio: Sorry everyone, basically a medical emergency Buster: Yeah Buster: It can make you horny, that's accurate Buster: Your ma can back you up Rio: Hush 😒 she probably would and no one needs to be that blunt about it, like Buster: 😂 Buster: I need if it means we can go home sooner rather than later Rio: I'm waiting on you, big man Buster: Let's go then Rio: Meet you on the otherside, like Rio: no way of getting out of here quick or easy Buster: Not with that attitude, babe Buster: We can do anything, remember? Rio: You gotta be polite Buster: Nah Buster: I can be selfish, so can you Rio: Yeah? Buster: 'Course Buster: What if I'm polite to you? If I say please, maybe Rio: Try it and see Buster: Rio, please let me take you home right now Buster: Please Rio: 🤤 Rio: How could I say no? Rio: 'Specially when I wanna go too Buster: Good Buster: Don't resist me Rio: Daddy 😩 Rio: You're gonna have to fuck me in the car now Rio: 'fore we even get going Buster: I better move it first then Buster: Give us slightly less chance of being interrupted Rio: Good idea Rio: I can't deal with any more today Buster: I know Buster: Me either Rio: When we get home can we stay in bed for at least Rio: 3-5 working days Rio: and not have to see anyone Buster: Well, Indie maybe Buster: But definitely Rio: Okay, kinda unavoidable, not that rude Buster: You can still stay in bed, I'll bring you everything you need Rio: You're lovely Rio: I don't need to, I just want to Rio: I've missed you so much Buster: Shh I'm trying to be a prick so we can leave Buster: Well, I want too and I want you to Buster: So it's gonna happen Rio: 🤐 Buster: I love you Rio: I love you too Buster: Come on Buster: Enough of this Buster: Time to go home Rio: Thought you'd never ask Buster: Well, now I'm telling Buster: Everyone, and you Rio: 😍 Rio: Let's go Buster: Yeah Buster: Meet me at the car, I'm seriously gonna move it Rio: Me too 💃 Rio: Never seen me move so fast Buster: I could say when you were running away from me, but let's not think about that Buster: 😏 Rio: Oh but it's so much fun to Buster: Oh really? Rio: Don't you think? Buster: Are you gonna play hard to get in this car? 'Cause I think that'll be a challenge Rio: 😏 Rio: Keep on your seat, thank you Buster: 'Cause you asked so nicely Buster: I might Rio: Better Rio: can't keep your hands to yourself you gonna catch these hands Buster: Hot Buster: [Sends car pics of him not keeping his hands to himself, wink wonk] Buster: Are you sure that's what you want though? Rio: 😣 Buster: Use your words Buster: I asked you a question Rio: but I want you but I can't give into you so easy Buster: Yes you can Buster: You can do anything you want, have anything you want Rio: You promise you won't get bored Buster: Do I look or sound bored to you? Rio: I can't make it a challenge Rio: I need you so much Buster: I don't want it to be Buster: Don't you know how impatient I am for you Rio: I'm looking at the pictures, still Buster: I need you too Buster: Come here and I'll show you Rio: I'm trying, I swear Buster: Try harder Buster: Please Rio: I'm sorry baby Rio: they're trying to show me something, I'm barely listening Buster: Just tell them I'm trying to show you something Buster: [sends more pics to make his point] Rio: Fuck Rio: they're gonna know if you keep making me react like that Buster: Good Buster: You're mine and they're keeping you from me so Rio: Say it again Buster: You're mine and I want you here now Rio: I'm yours Rio: and I'm making my excuses Buster: Blame me Buster: I don't care Rio: I don't either Rio: They can be mad if they want Buster: Exactly Buster: We're free, babe Rio: We've been nice Rio: all day Buster: Jesus, we've been nice for weeks Rio: My poor baby especially Rio: enough talking, yeah? Buster: Unless its just to you Buster: For you Rio: I've got so much to tell you Buster: Start now Buster: I'm listening Rio: Do you have any idea how badly I've wanted you all day because being on the beach reminded me of the honeymoon and also where we're gonna make our next baby and it's been even more unbearable than being nervous was Buster: Baby Buster: You've really been through it today, yeah? You need to unwind Buster: When we get home, you're having a massage, no arguments Rio: I'm not going to argue Rio: I want you to make me feel good Buster: So hurry up Buster: I'm here waiting Rio: I'm out the door, where'd you move the car Buster: If you promise to behave for long enough I'll bring it right to you Buster: Otherwise [location] Rio: I'm an angel, how dare you Rio: but not a princess so you know, I'll walk Buster: Why do you think I've been carrying you all day, fuck princesses, you're a queen Rio: You're a dork Rio: but you're mine Buster: So that's a no to the plastic 👑 then, yeah? Okay Rio: If it ain't real I ain't down, general rule Rio: gotta match the 💍 Buster: Good to know Buster: First thing on the shopping list, is it? Buster: I'm still waiting for that too, like Rio: You'd rather go shopping right now? Rio: Okay, babe Buster: Shut up Buster: You're the one stalling Rio: I'm walking Rio: excuse me for being weighed down by YOUR huge child Buster: Don't listen son, your mum is just frustrated right now Buster: She doesn't mean it Rio: 😒 Now you're ganging up on me Rio: Charming Buster: Poor baby Buster: You feeling outnumbered? Rio: 😞 Yeah Buster: The dog can be a girl, I promise Rio: So you can call us both bitches, hmpf Buster: 😂 Buster: Behave Rio: You gonna give me a treat if I beg real nice, daddy? Buster: You know it Rio: Forever mad you don't like cats Buster: It's not like I hate them Buster: You can still have some, just not so many they outnumber the children Rio: It's not that I've got the ears and collar and everything and you won't even appreciate it 😠 Buster: Well, now you're just putting words in my mouth Rio: Salty fr 😂 Buster: 😒 Buster: Don't take the piss Rio: I'm not, I'm genuinely fuming, who am I gonna be a pretty lil kitty for now? Rio: dogs are such male energy, I can't, babe Buster: It literally hasn't stopped you before, but okay, babe Buster: Also I'm fuming that you're calling me a cat hater to get out of this Buster: Just put it on and stop playing Rio: True Rio: Hmm, I was just really jealous of the dog that day Rio: and I wanted to be choked, I'm not gonna not use the leash, like, who am I Buster: I remember Buster: Vividly Rio: Mmm, I'm sure the neighbours do too, another stairway escapade Buster: I hope they don't, that way we can jog their memory Buster: Or just give them a new one Rio: Your hands feel so good around my throat Rio: you can feel every noise I can barely make Buster: If you're gonna talk like that, I'm gonna need you to also walk faster Rio: You know how I get Rio: distracted Buster: If I have to get out of this car and come and find you, distracted won't be the half of it Rio: No? Buster: Right, I'm opening this fucking door Rio: I don't think you're gonna do anything to me on this public street though 😋 Buster: If you wanna be wrong, you can be wrong Buster: 'Cause like fuck I won't Rio: Yes Rio: Come get me Buster: I am Buster: I will Rio: What are you gonna do to me, daddy? Buster: It's a surprise Buster: Like you said, there's been so much talking today Rio: Fuck, just do it, do what you want do what you need, just be here now Buster: Say please Buster: It can be the last word though Rio: Please please please Rio: I'll be saying it quietly 'til I feel you behind me