#please let this be true because it will be so fkn funny

[aliennazero]

Thinking about why Kishibe and Yoshida Hirofumi is likely to be blood related (father-son) and not just senior/junior because of these small interractions.

I don't think Captain "I am the best devil hunterᕦ⁠(⁠ ⁠⊡⁠ ⁠益⁠ ⁠⊡⁠ ⁠)⁠ᕤ" Kishibe would let a random emokid1125 he met in a high-risk mission to basically call him an "old boomer" even as a joke.

I'm certain there's familiarity between them.

That's why Kishibe is sure about Yoshida's ability and competence when it comes to devil hunting, to have the potential to be better than him. Even though this comment also can be seen as chit-chat convos between them to make the situation more relaxed.

(Let's be real the entire casts have been through a lot in this arc in the span of like 4 hours—I also like the interpretation of this scene to be played as distraction for Yoshida because he need to kill a lot of "doll people" in the background to prevent more people turning into another dolls—IMO his character is actually kind of altruistic like Kishibe but it's a topic for another discussion).

That's why they talk more "casually" when there's only them two. They have so much trust in each other to talk about their distrust towards Makima and do commentary to the whole chaotic situations. Octopus Devil also seems okay with Kishibe and that's why it let him sit down on top of it just like Yoshida.

That kind of interractions doesn't make sense if it's truly the first time they met each other. Especially for the latter reasonings.

"They could just be senior/junior then. There's no need for them to be blood related. We had seen Kishibe put trust on his disciples like Himeno, Aki, even Denji and Power. So why it can't be the same case for Yoshida?"

Because Yoshida start his Devil Hunter carrier as private Devil Hunter, he join Public Safety later on after International Assassin Arc and before part 2. Meanwhile Kishibe is from Public Safety since the start, and one of his job is to train PS's new recruits.

Public Safety and Private DH is a different work environment. It makes no sense for Kishibe to spend time with this random private devil hunter if not because they're already related in some way.

++ Oh, another thing of why them being only senior/junior didn't make sense is because of this.

They talked about school here, very family-type of chit-chat.

Later, Kishibe offers Yoshida a cigarette, then followed by forgetting about his school grade and his age (which sounded very absent father jokes btw, and to make it even better Yoshida didn't laugh at it but rather seems irritated to the point he directly called Kishibe an idiot [馬鹿 baka] LMAO).

If Kishibe and Yoshida really are just senior/junior, Yoshida won't call him by "anta" (which is a ruder version of "anata" that means you) but rather he would call him master like any other of Kishibe's students/subordinate. But nooo, he didn't hold back from showing his rudeness in front of Kishibe. He's such a little btch of a son lol, I love him.

TLDR; Kishibe and Yoshida are so deadbeat dad and his neglected emo son coded❤️ I guarantee you'll have easier times convincing other people about this than otherwise, tbh.

Anyway sorry for being insane again, I need to to let this out from my brain.

[michu-writes]

You said request so I am here to fulfill: Bruno x son!reader (platonic) where the reader can control things/he's a puppeteer. The town's people are scared of him because they think he's bad news like Bruno but really he just wants to help. ✌️🤡 Sorry if this is long or worded weirdly

A/N: I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS IDEA WHAT??? Agh thank you for requesting this!!!! You forgot to mention if you wanted this in headcanons, oneshot or scenario so I made it in headcanons, I hope it's okay :).

Warnings/genre: Slight angst (?), hurt/comfort, puppeteer, male!reader

Bruno + son!puppeteer!reader | Encanto headcanons (plotanic)

First of all, Bruno completely understands you, and always feels guilty for it

If only he was worth it for the family, if only his gift was as helpful as the others, if only his stupid prophecies wasn't bad, you'd have a different life.

Therefore, he's overprotected for you.

Whenever he hears someone talk shit about you, he'd immediately step in and defend you like:

"Don't talk dirty about my son! You don't... You don't know how much he tries to help! You don't know anything about him."

I feel like Julieta would do the same. She cares for both you and your father.

She secretly gets really mad when she catches people talking crap about you, and feels quite guilty for being a bystander.

Bruno would always tell you how awesome your gift is, and that it's not your fault that people are ungrateful for you, it's his alone. (which is completely not true and you know that >:C)

But anyways, aside from the angsty stuff, let's speak about the bright side!

You'd always control his rats just to scare him off, it always catches him off guard when he just suddenly sees his rats floating or fkn dancing.

He thinks it's pretty funny though, and sometimes asks you to control his rats when making telenovelas!

Might show it to everyone in town if you're comfortable with that

Camilo and you would be the best pranksters too

Bruno tries his best to be the best father in the world, and always apologizes that you might not live the best life because of him

Just reassure him with a hug, then he'll feel better :)

I imagine it kinda like

"Mi vida... I'm sorry for everything, it's my fault everyone thinks you're bad luck just like me.. And you're not. Trust me I try my best, and it's completely fine that you hate me. I'm used to it anyways. "Papá! Stop talking like that about yourself! It's not your fault, so please, don't worry about it. I love you, okay?"

*Proceeds to give him a hug*

He almost can't believe how caring you are towards him, he expected you to not like him just like the others in town.

He thought he'd be a bad father, but nope, you love your old man so much

You also get protective over him, just like Bruno is to you!

Both of you have each others backs

It's basically the definition of 'like father, like son

Your bonding is honestly the best! You could literally have a conversation about anythinYou would probably also talk about the towns people who talks shit about both of you, and be like "Yeah that person with a big mustache and always has a hat on keeps saying bad stuff about us like it's the end of the world!" "I KNOWWW AGH!! If only he knew how vulnerable and sweet son you are."

Sweet father and son bonding :)

I ran out of ideas, but if I come up with more, I'll definitely add them here!

[thequibblah]

directors cut for WTRF? 🥺👉👈 not biased at all obviously just objective third party asking for a directors cut hmmm hmmmmm

literally how could u do this every other word in that fic is an easter egg i can't shut up about..... bestie u are about to have regrets

one thing u should know is that 90% of things in this fic have real-world equivalents and its not even like....... hidden equivalents. serie primo = serie a, for instance. this trend is going to continue and i won't apologise <3

fun fact i named the bar the Bar and the drinks after shapes because i was too lazy to come up with something actually clever

this bit

I’m grinning to myself by the time she approaches my table.

was a very intentional fakeout and if you read this and thought "she" would be lily, feel free to sue me for emotional damages

the biggest conundrum of this AU was, how are jily not going to have met in school when magic exists? the solution was, of course, having multiple magic schools. but i couldn't let one of them have hogwarts, that didn't seem fair. i know i did sort of let lily have it..... but i felt more comfortable making hogwarts a university so there was a legit reason why james wasn't there and in gryffindor (if he'd gone he absolutely would have been)

once solved, i did the fun thing of naming them! ottaline gambol's was easy, i just scrolled through the list of ministers for magic and picked a progressive one. peverell hall was a whim, made all the funnier when lily's reaction is:

Much was made at Otty’s — one of the more progressive magical schools, named for one of the more progressive Ministers of Magic — of schools like Peverell Hall and St. George’s. The latter, I know, is chock-full of pureblooded elite. Peverell Hall is supposed to be slightly better, but still.

dang, it's gonna be funny if she ever finds out james is a descendant of the guy it's named after

fun fact, i included this because peter's question was a real thought i had when reading bond and free, your inspiring writing knows no limits:

The first thing you conjure in Walking Wombat is a yellow quill... “Why yellow?” Peter asked. Eddie gave him a strange look. “Why not?”

i realised i'd put jily in the same conundrum they had in tis the fucking season here:

It’s only then that I remember she’s just bought us drinks. I turn back to my triangle. “Oh, shit.” I suppose I can pawn it off on one of the others.

...but of course the resolution is rather different, and i do so enjoy a james with no filter (aka default james)

I briefly lose control of my brain and my tongue. “Is it too soon to say I’m in love with you?”

by the way, no-filter james will be a theme. wild things sure do run fast but not as fast as this boy runs his mouth!

also, another interesting challenge here was making sure james has a reason to be the way he is in AU. i love playing around with james's childhood/background and seeing how that affects his character while (hopefully!) staying true to who he is. i did that in ttfs by having him move around a lot and not meet the marauders until after the flashback timeline, which is why he's less of a git — he doesn't have the level of comfort in a social setting that canon james has with hogwarts, which is basically his playground from day 2 of first year lol

here, james was probably a fkn nightmare all through school, but of course he gets a big ego check when his quidditch career is derailed. i imagine his years in italy as a continuation of that humility lesson.

I will fully admit I used to be a cocky prick. This is what comes of being a kid who grew up with everything. But one useful thing that the whole fiasco four years ago taught me is humility. I’ve learned how to ask nicely for another chance.

and so much of writing him in wtrf is juggling that typical confidence with the insecurity/fear of losing something he's invested so much in (and has seen slip away before). it's really new to me, because typically i give lily uncertain life circumstances, but i suppose it's both of them in this AU.

the car thing was... i swear didn't start out as smutty, it was purely because i wanted a way to establish lily as muggleborn in a world where the connotations of not having magical parents is very different. more to come on that!

also, come to think of it, by this metric...

I’m now in dangerous territory, since that adds another impressive action to her running tally.

...i think james is already in love with her LOL

this bit:

The street is considered indecent and the downstairs hallway would have our landlady come running at once, so if it pleases Your Honour, we would recommend the sitting room sofa.

...was actually because in draft one lily was a lawyer, but then it was funny enough that i didn't want to take it out, but NOW i realise it makes it sound a little like she's addressing james as your honour, which.... hm. but anyway, we move on

Marc Bolan begs us to get it on through the stereo, vocalising my thoughts exactly.

the song here was initially "you shook me" (h/t @keepingupwithpotters) but i chickened out because zeppelin is SO horny dfjkhgkjs

also, it gave me so much joy to read everyone reacting to lily thinking about her ex (the general vibe was "who the fuck is this guy!!! ew!!!!") — rest assured (or, unassured??) that he has a part to play in all this. anyway, this is one of my fave lines:

He’s just a person, and there’s such a relief in sleeping with James and not the myth of a guy.

because as any come together reader knows....

Just James. Just James. It was never just James.

wtrf lily will learn!

literally the whole world knows i'm obsessed with needle drops that have no subtlety at all, but this one...

We just laugh, tangled together in a sweaty heap, as “Heaven Is in the Back Seat of My Cadillac” plays through the car’s speakers. “On the nose, isn’t it?” James says, sitting up.

...was pure luck, because i was looking up the top hits on the uk singles chart for the week(ish) this scene takes place in so that i could find a song that would realistically play on the radio, saw this, and was like omg the stars really do align

i feel like the thing i enjoy most about writing romance is the importance i get to place in noticing/looking/observing (and sometimes, not noticing!). it's just such a powerful but simple writerly tool, and god knows i am obsessed with pithy descriptions anyway, so this bit i am especially happy with:

James is already waiting, leaning against the car with his hands in his pockets. I feel as though I’m seeing him for the first time, the faint light of the flickering streetlamp catching him in profile: the strong slope of his nose, the hard line of his jaw, the curve of his smile. He studies the facade of our building with open curiosity, and I wonder what he’s looking for.

(one can only imagine james's train of thought in this moment. perhaps "ah. here lives the future love of my life"?)

“Thanks,” she tacks on at the end. I tip my head to one side in confusion. “For what?” “For, I don’t know. Being nice.” She laughs awkwardly. “I don’t do this very much.”

it wouldn't be a quibblah original tee em without some discourse to come about the nature of romantic/sexual relationships, would it? one thing i enjoy about this AU ("one thing" i say as if this isn't the billionth thing in a list) is that i get to write a romantic lily who's squaring that romanticism with what she perceives as the culture of the times. (this is a bit of a staple in all my characterisations of lily, but it is not often paired with casual sex, the complication of all complications!)

oh this bit literally wrote itself like i didn't even pause to think just vomited it out:

In the morning — and it must be early still — the sun streams through Lily’s sorry excuses for curtains with aggression that cannot be ignored. I crack open an eye to find myself sprawled out across her bed, quite literally spread-eagled. She’s attached to my side like a barnacle. Or a very pretty barnacle, anyway.

i'm especially proud of james's voice in this story. i don't often write first-person fic and i was worried how it'd turn out, but i think james as a character/narrator typically colours his own 3rd-person narration so strongly that it ended up a smoother transition than i'd feared!

also i just. i can't resist throwing in comic relief and i hope that this whole segment was a gentle enough preparation for the awkwardness that followed LOL

All of a sudden, the balcony door bursts open. I nearly drop the mug. “What the—” Mary pokes her head around the corner, sporting a righteous smile. “Morning, handsome.” Over her shoulder she shouts, “He’s on the balcony!” I blink. There’s a sound from inside the flat, as if something very large has just been dropped. Then a swear. “Oh, shit,” I say, realisation dawning, “you weren’t looking for me, were you? It’s so loud out here—” Mary cups a hand around her mouth and stage-whispers, “Lily was frantic.” She’s quite violently yanked back, and Lily herself appears in the doorway, slightly out of breath. “Should’ve checked the balcony first,” she says, and closes the door before Mary can insert herself into the space again. “Hi,” I say, which is agreed-upon best practice for greeting a woman you’ve just had fantastic sex with and ideally would like to have sex with again.

to this day i don't know what lily dropped. let's hope it wasn't expensive!

Captained the under-17 English squad at the World Cup some years back, Serie Primo’s lead goal-scorer of last year… Only an injury in what should’ve been his first season at Puddlemere mars his record. I wince reading about it and comparing it to a heap of press clippings. James Potter was hurt, and Puddlemere didn’t fancy paying for him not to play, so they shipped him off to Milan.

(you cannot imagine how much pointed interrogation of my brother it took to gather this intel.) i constantly worry that i've got dates or timelines wrong somehow — you might notice i tweaked under-17, which used to be under-19 until i realised that made no sense (even though in terms of its career importance i would much preferred it to have been u-19.... anyway). i also found out that u-17 football squads don't actually have captains but i said fuck it on that count.

but obviously i started writing this AU for the sports possibilities, only to discover i'm going to have to interfere a great deal with the Timeline (you shall see in future instalments).

god i really went through the whole fic. like i reread the whole thing to do this. here u go clare jfbghjfd

[fieldfullofbangtan]

bts hc: as wizards

 you can thank sims 4 realm of magic and the fact that my hair is now ~pastel pink~ for this magical mess. it was super nostalgic researching harry potter spells and charms and now i really want to rewatch the entire harry potter series.

made it long because i feel like i’ve left yall on read for a while :p

(credit to this person on Amino that wrote an awesome post about the members and their wands/patronuses!)

Seokjin

griffindor

patronus: mink

wand: mahogany

clever and funny

he’s brave but also kinda a wuss

the ghosts just roaming about the school terrify him

plus HAVE YOU SEEN THE SIZE OF THE SPIDERS OUT THERE?

truly is the eomma of all the griffindors

mostly learns spells that improve his looks and lifestyle

pimples? PFFT.

hasn’t showered in 4 days? boi still smells like a field of roses

what even is expelliarmus?

would turn himself into a flower first chance he gets

“this is my true form”

queue the rest of the members putting him in a cupboard and just leaving him there

cleans up everybody’s messes

the type of wizard that uses Lumos to get good lighting for a selfie

will prefer home cooked food over this magical crap any day

“wtf is this.”

“chocolate frogs!”

“... YOU CALL THIS FOOD?”

Namjoon

griffindor

patronus: magpie

wand: fir

intelligent and a strong leader

fir wands demand strength and power from their owners

a total klutz but he has jin that can save him

also the spell reparo comes in handy A LOT

his clumsiness becomes life threatening when magic is involved

“Incendio! OH SHIT”

“WTF WHY WOULD YOU LIGHT ME ON FIRE MAN?”

“Sorry Jin I was just trying to make you stay still!”

“THATS IMMOBULUS YOU DUMBASS”

woopsie indeed

not permitted to ride his broom anymore

last time he almost killed himself and four others

everybody loves him anyways

especially the teachers because he’s a teachers pet

it’s not his fault he’s a genius

who occasionally sets his friends on fire

potion-making will likely end badly

cut him some slack k

he has a lot on his plate

(can i just say how much i love this account and their art, please check them out)

Yoongi

slytherin

patronus: buzzard

wand: vine

sly mf

introverted but can be super talkative if he wants something

cold exterior but has a warm heart

always trying to better himself

that trait doesn’t really go hand in hand with his love for sleep

will use the bewitched sleep charm on himself

and the protego spell to keep people away from him

“hey hyung”

“im sleeping”

“but hyung-”

“Flipendo”

*jimin flies across the fkn room*

“i said im sleeping”

he’ll kiss his head sorry later don’t worry

arrives 10 minutes late on the dot to every class 

doesn’t fail them tho

secretly nerdy cuz he reads a lot

also acts tough but gets scared easy

defense against the dark arts class is the worst for him

hard shell but a true softie on the inside

Hoseok

hufflepuff

patronus: polecat 

wand: dogwood

needs to be saved

the talking paintings have it in for him

they’ll pose perfectly still until he walks past and they’ll scare the shit out of him

waves around his wand and yells ‘Riddikulus’ at anything mildly unnerving

he’s an angel tho

a true hufflepuff

knows everyone in school

could burn the school down and nobody would be mad at him

you’d think his scaredy ass wouldn’t be a prankster

and you’d be wrong

he uses his magic for good and for evil

good as in he makes everyone around him happy

evil as in sometime he’ll use immobulus on his friends so that he can cuddle the shit out of them

gets in trouble thanks to his imbecile friends

“don’t worry hobi the forbidden forest is just a myth, its totally harmless”

*3 minutes later he fkn faints from seeing a normal sized spider*

“I TRUSTED YOU JUNGKOOK”

Jimin

slytherin

patronus: dapple gray stallion

wand: willow

sneaky but sweet slytherin

the kinda person who looks super sweet and innocent

but will wreck you in a duel

he’s a shy boy

until you get him out of his shell

or get him drunk

all the girls have the hots for him

some guys as well

maybe even one or two professors

though he will deny it until his last breath

a hard core perfectionist so he won’t be satisfied until his spells and potions are absolutely perfect

the one spell he knows perfectly is the healing spell

thanks to his friends because he has to use it on them constantly

Namjoon sprained his ankle falling down the stairs?

“episkey”

Jungkook got hit in the face with the Quaffle ball?

“episkey”

Hoseok fell off his broom?

“oh for fucks sake... episkey”

everyone would be hopeless without him

and injured

Taehyung

hufflepuff

patronus: chestnut mare

wand: hazel

a wonderful... mess

super lovable 

makes everyone around him feel comfortable

doesn't shy away from his emotions

which is a great thing

until he gets angry and lights something on fire

or sad and casts a mute bubble around him so nobody can talk to him

or god forbid overly happy and energetic

he will wingardium leviosa the shit out of everyone and everything

“FLY MY FRIENDS FLY”

yoongi wont have it

“TAEHYUNG IF YOU DONT LET ME DOWN RIGHT NOW I WILL KILL YOU”

care of magical creatures is his favorite class

he has a weird bond with all the animals

he even talks to them as if they talk back and weirdly enough it seems like they understand

could probably befriend a dragon

definately the one in the group that has a toad for a pet companion

jungkook made him join quidditch

looking back it was a dumb idea

now he’s obsessed and would probably risk his life just to win

passionate boy

he truly is a blessing to the people around him 

Jungkook

ravenclaw

patronus: black stallion

wand: hornbeam

smart

and athletic

and handsome

do i sense a true ravenclaw

always has to be right

super argumentative and competitive

“Im right you’re wrong shut up”

obviously undefeated at quidditch

and obviously the one who catches the golden snitch

has forced everyone except namjoon to play and it’s a mess

“Hoseok you have to get the ball through the rings not pass it to the opposite team”

“You have to actually fly around Yoongi you cant just be still”

“Ok I know I said tackling was allowed but you can’t grab onto someone elses broom Jimin”

he’s got a lot on his plate but he’s still having fun

only because he loves his hyungs

even though he’s pretty much talented at everything he’s still pretty grounded

super loyal to his friends and family

also has the dopest fkn owl

has the whole package pretty much

what hogwarts house are you? im a proud griffindor 

[sabraeal]

Kiki and obi shenanigans, modern au. Up to no good… pranks on the squad :P probably Mitsuhide but zen or shirayuki would be good too.

“This health food thing has gone on long enough.”

Obi bangs around the cabinets blearily, scowl pulling his mouth long, tossing aside small crinkling packages that read whole-grain quinoa and flaxseed, to rummage in the deep recesses of the kitchen. Mitsuhide watches distractedly, sipping at his protein shake and hardly even noticing the chalky taste.

Don’t worry, Dad. Even now he can see that slant to her smile, the way her lips seemed to be holding secrets at bay. I’ve got the husband thing handled.

“Look at this!” Obi holds out a shimmery bag at arm’s length. “Kelp. Not even seaweed. But kelp. She puts this in her cereal, Big Guy.” He presses a hand to his chest, scandalized. “All I want is to find a freaking box of Cocoa Puffs the first time through, and I find this. You know,” Obi is warming to the topic now, dropping his voice to a loud whisper, “she brought bran muffins to study group –”

“Obi.” Mitsuhide’s hands pale where he grips at the counter. “Can I talk to you?”

Obi so stands abruptly he clips his head on a shelf, the whole cabinet rattling with the force of it.

“Ah, fuck,” he hisses, rubbing at the back of his head sheepishly. “Yeah, sure. What’s –” Obi’s voice stutters when he turns, finally looking him in the face – “up?”

He laughs, nervous. “That’s some look, Big Guy.” His hand comes up, rubbing at his shoulder. “I haven’t even done anything yet –”

“No, no.” Mitsuhide shakes his head, trying to force his mouth to smile but – but he doesn’t feel it, not now, not when –

I’ve got the husband thing handled.

“That’s not it,” he grits out, his hands in tight fists on the countertop. “I just wanted to ask you about…about something personal.”

Obi stares at him wide-eyed, and really – no one is more surprised than Mitsuhide himself that it’s come to this, that there’s no one else he trusts more about this kind of stuff than someone who thinks kid’s cereal is a meal.

“Please,” he says, eyes fixed to where his knuckles have gone starkly white against the formica. “Don’t tell anyone else.”

“I –” Obi bites off whatever he was about to say, turning his head away and pulling hard at his shoulder. “Yeah, sure, Big Guy. Your secret’s safe with me.”

“Do you know if…” Crisse, he can’t even look at him. This isn’t any of his business, and it’s even less of Obi’s but – “Do you know if Kiki is, ah…seeing anyone?”

Obi stares dumbly for a long moment, the only movement on him the slow blink of his eyes and the incredulous huff of his breath.

His mouth crooks, his eyes narrow, and Obi sits back in his hips, letting his hands drop to the island. “Well, I guess you’ve found us out, Big Guy.”

There is literally nothing about this that he trusts. “What?”

“Me and Kiki have been fooling around for a while now,” he drawls airily, flashing him some sharp canines. “You know. Friends with bens. Eff-dubya-bee.”

He winks.

“Fine,” Mitsuhide sighs, shoving away from the counter. “Don’t take this seriously.”

This problem set is going to be the death of her.

Kiki is excellent at crisis management – a savant really, which is good because Zen can be a public relations nightmare without even leaving his bedroom – but she’s six problems into a ten page set, and she’s about ready to strangle CEO B (head of a Fortune 500 company) with nothing more than the drawstring of her hoodie. He’s the issue owner of every gaffe for the past five problems, and honestly, if she didn’t think Professort Luigis would take points off, her solution to ‘how do you resolve the issue?’ would be arranging for CEO B to have an accident in his thirty-fourth floor office. Namely taking the fast way down to the lobby.

“Uh,” she hears from the doorway. “Kiki?”

Her papers are strewn across the coffee table, spilling off the edge onto the floor and creeping up the couch. She’s not sure how long she’s been there, but there’s a stale taste to her mouth that says hours at least, and her tea’s gone cold in her thermos. God, what is she even wearing? Not a bra, that’s for sure. Fuck midterms, honestly.

She looks up, and of course, of course it’s Mitsuhide. Not that she minds, he’s seen her vomiting before (unplanned, a stomach flu that took her hard her first week in the chapter house), but they haven’t talked in days, and she likes leaving him a more…put-together image over long periods of time. Something to leave him thinking about.

Fine, she likes to look hot, like a flannel-wrapped dreamboat that he wants to peel his LaFleur jersey off of. Sue her.

“Hey,” she says, so cool. She’s aware she’s on the floor in sweat pants she’s stolen from him, pegged up to her knees because any lower and they unroll, with a sweatshirt that has a ketchup stain (not hers, and only from this morning. One day Obi will learn to use his huge hands to not squirt condiments all over the table, but today is not that day).Sexy.

“Did you need the couch?” She hopes her eyes convey that she would very much like him to come sit behind her. Maybe even massage her shoulders a little with his huge, strong hands, and – “I could move my stuff.”

“No.” He lingers nervously at the archway, face troubled. “I just…saw you and thought, er…”

That he’d come manhandle her? C’mon, let that be it. There’s a crick in her neck and she has been a very good girl lately.

“Obi said something the other day,” he admits, like it pains him. That in itself isn’t strange; Obi is about as pleasant as a hernia on a good day.

“Obi says a lot of things,” she replies, raising her eyebrows. “Did this involve me somehow?”

“You could – yes.” He grits his teeth, and she’s interested now, turning to face him. “He said that you…um…that you were…” His voice drops; she has to struggle to make out, “Sleeping together.”

What. She tenses her eyelids so she doesn’t blink in confusion, doesn’t give away the game. Across space and time, she hears Obi say, trust me.

Well, at least this will be funny.

“Oh yeah,” she lies, “like three times a week. Regular orgasms really clear the head.”

His jaw drops. “Wha – Obi? Why?”

She smirks, leaning on her problem set, so casual. “Come on, Mitsuhide,” she croons, “have you seen those hands? Mm.”

Is there a reason Mitsuhide thinks we’re fuckingA good reason, I mean

its fkn hilarious lolbside that?

That is the question

he wanted 2 no if u were cn any1it ws lik angels cam dwn 2 giv me th sweetest prank f all timwat ws i suppsd 2 do?dnt tell himits funnier this way

….All rightIt is pretty funny

its lik th prank that keeps n givin

Snow still lingers on the grass, but the day is warm, and Shirayuki finds an extra spring to her step when she bounds up the walk to the chapter house. Her presentation went well in art history – even though she’s not sure she could tell the difference between Titian and Carvaggio without her copious notes (painstakingly reviewed and corrected by Zen and Kiki the night before) – and to celebrate, she veered through the campus conservatory, letting the humid air and floral scents wash over her. She’s not sure she could be in a bad mood if she tried.

Mitsuhide is on the veranda, slowly rocking the swing with one foot, creak-creak-creak. They’ll have to oil it come spring, otherwise Zen will complain about the sound all through finals.

“Hi, Mitsuhide!” she chirps, bounding up the steps. “Nice day, isn’t it?”

He shakes himself, like he’s waking from a dream, and blinks owlishly up at her. “Huh? Oh, Shirayuki. Yeah, nice, I guess.”

Her mouth pulls into a frown. Mitsuhide’s been like this for at least a week now; sullen and distracted, almost listless. She would blame it on the weather – it’s hard to keep cheerful when schoolwork weighs heavily on you like this, and the days are so short – but the past few days have been hinting at not only spring but summer, and his mood has only grown worse.

“You know,” she starts, drawling the words uncertainly. “If there’s something bothering you, you should talk about it.”

“What?” He jumps, eyes darting wildly toward the door before skittering across the lawn. “No, nothing’s wrong. I’m – I’m fine with…everything. Things are good. I’m just –” sweat beads at his brow – “I’m just minding my business.”

“Okay,” she says, wide-eyed. “Great.” Her hand falls onto the front door, grasping the handle. “I’ll just –”

“I wouldn’t,” he blurts out, hand outstretched. “You don’t – it might not be safe.”

Her heart pounds at his words, and she drops the handle as if it scalds her. “Not…safe?”

She cradles her hand against her chest, breath coming is short bursts. She must be misunderstanding, there’s no way – Clarines had been the safest place she’s ever know and she can’t – it can’t –

“Obi and Kiki are in there,” he explains dully. “You shouldn’t – you don’t want to interrupt them.”

She can suddenly breathe again. “Oh,” she laughs, bracing herself against the door. “Are they fighting again? Someone should probably stop –”

“No, not fighting, they…” Mitsuhide sighs, scrubbing a hand over his face. “Obi and Kiki are sleeping together.”

Shirayuki’s not even moving, but she stumbles. That’s what happen when the rug is pulled out beneath you.

“What?” she breathes, fingernails scratching against paint. She has to will her hand flat again. “No way.”

“Yeah, it’s, uh…” He grimaces. “A casual thing. Friends with benefits.”

There’s something clinging to her skin, something that makes it crawl and drip and drag, and she – this isn’t – “Kiki? With Obi?”

She could have sworn – Kiki always said –

Mitsuhide nods, slow, painful, and – and he wouldn’t say something like that if it wasn’t true. He didn’t lie, and he wouldn’t spread rumors, so – so –

“I, uh.” Shirayuki shuffles away from the door. Her breath comes harshly, comes raggedly, and she shouldn’t – she doesn’t have any reason to feel like this. “I have something to do. In the library.”

She scurries down the front walk, drawing her cardigan around her, and wonders where the nice day went.

Obi’s not sure how it happens, but their late-night anime watching turns into before-bed anime watching, Doc curled against his side as they lay on his narrow bed, one leg thrown over his and head cradled in the curve of his shoulder. She’s warm against him, comforting, and it’s not really a surprise how easily he find himself slipping towards sleep when they’re like this, when she acts like he’s – he’s –

Normal. The sort of guy you let yourself fall asleep next to, in a platonic way.

God, he needs to not fuck this up. This whole friendship thing.

Two episodes is usually enough to make her go soft against him, to send her slow, even breath curling across his collarbone, but tonight she is rigid beside him, her legs firmly crossed over each other instead of his. He peers down to see her worrying at her lip, mouth tipped at the edges into a thoughtful frown.

“Hey,” He squeezes her playfully, making her look up at him. “You okay, Doc?”

Her eyes dart away from his for a moment, and he’s lost at what to do, how to even go about asking her what’s wrong, when she blurts out, “Do you want me to leave?”

He blinks. “What?”

“I…” She squirms against him, as if she isn’t sure whether to push away or press closer. “You don’t have anything you’d rather be, um, doing?”

Besides giving them another reason to be falling asleep in this bed? “Should I?”

“I…” She lays her head against his shoulder, and it strikes him that she’s sad. “I just though you’d rather be with Kiki, because, um…”

“I like having my ass kicked?” he laughs, eyebrows raised. “That’s like a once a week thing. My pride can only take so much, Doc.”

“No, because…” She gives a little frustrated moan, burying her head in her hands. “Because you’re, you know –” her voice drops into a whisper – “having sex.”

“WHAT?”

Doc jumps, hands clamping down on his shirt to keep her from flailing off the bed. “I just…” Her eyes are wide, earnest. “Mitsuhide said…”

“Wha-what?” He should really, really think before he opens his big mouth sometimes. “No, that’s – gimme a sec.”

Zen is finally home, comfortable in his flannel pants; buried deep in the common room’s best easy chair, feet kicked up as Captain Holt says boNE in varying degrees of incredulity, when Kiki’s phone loudly interrupts.

He grunts, annoyed, and she rolls her eyes. A glance at the screen sends her eyebrows up to her hairline, and she flicks back a simple answer.

“Hey, Mitsuhide,” she says, bemused.

“Mm?” he groans from his place on the floor, half asleep over his law books.

“I’m not fucking Obi.” Zen stares, but Kiki is straight-faced, serious, like she’s pulling off a band-aid. “It was just fucking funny to make you think so. But joke’s over.”

“What.”

Zen closes his laptop, sighing with regret as he levers himself out of the chair. “I’m just going to go…not be here for this, thanks.”

ABORT ABORT PLAN CANCELLED PRANK OVER

K

[ipzl]

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Nicki Minaj and Cardi B just reached a TRUCE in their longstanding feud…

PLEASE let this mean that it’s actually, finally over…

The rivalry between Nicki Minaj and Cardi B reached its peak yesterday, culminating in what appears to be an understanding between the rappers to drop their feud once and for all.

The boiling point came after Nicki went on Queen radio to talk about her fight with Cardi, and she spilled the tea on everything from what went down at New York Fashion Week, to Cardi’s sister’s claims that Nicki leaked Cardi’s phone numbers to fans. During the program, Nicki claimed that her friend Rah Ali punched Cardi QUOTE “9 or 10 times” at the Harper’s Bazaar event at New York Fashion week, and she ALSO claimed to have paid $100,000 for surveillance footage of the fight.

At another point during her radio broadcast, Nicki also claimed that Cardi stopped Offset and 21 Savage from doing a video with Nicki for their “No Flag” track. Nicki also denied ever leaking Cardi’s phone number to her Barbz, despite Hennessy’s allegations.

Once Cardi got wind of the Nicki’s Queen Radio rant, Cardi went on a rant of her own, posting ten short videos about the feud to her Instagram account. In the first video, Cardi completely denies being punched by Rah Ali.

In another video, Cardi denies Nicki’s accusation that she stopped 21 Savage and Offset from doing a music video with Nicki for “No Flag”. Cardi explained that she doesn’t know 21 Savage very well, and therefore doesn’t have the power to tell him what to do, and that the real reason the song didn’t get a video is because it simply wasn’t doing well enough to merit one.

In another clip, Cardi also claimed that Little Mix offered HER the rap verse on their “Woman Like Me” track before they offered it to Nicki. She showed the sample of the track she was sent as proof.

Little Mix has since gone on to say that Nicki was, in fact, offered the song first.

At one point in her multi-video rant, Cardi went as far as to threaten to sue Nicki for defamation of character, but in the end she made it clear that she just wants to resolve the feud once and for all — one way or another.

So how did Nicki respond to all of this? She opted to put Cardi on BLAST on social media, herself. In a comment she posted to The Shade Room, Cardi wrote QUOTE, “Stop trying to distract everyone about the fact that you lied about Rah beating your head in”. In a Tweet to fans, Nicki also accused Cardi of not writing her own lyrics, calling her a QUOTE, “Fkn fraud”. She also claimed that everything she said on Queen Radio was 100% true, called Cardi a QUOTE “convincing liar”, and said that she would even pay for Cardi to take a lie detector test to prove it.

At that point, the feud had escalated so quickly and so insanely that it seemed like this thing would NEVER be resolved. But then, what can only be described as a Hip Hop miracle happened, when Nicki suddenly put out one tweet to end the drama once and for all — we hope.

She Tweeted QUOTE, “Ok you guys, let’s focus on positive things only from here on out. We’re all so blessed. I know this stuff is entertaining & funny to a lot of people but I won’t be discussing this nonsense anymore.”

And in a shocking and much-welcomed twist, Cardi retweeted Nicki’s words, adding QUOTE, “@Nickiminaj alright then! Let’s keep it positive and keep it pushing!”

Wow. All we can say is we really hope that’s the end of it, because these ladies are both far too talented to be wasting energy on beefing with each other.

So now I wanna hear from you guys — do you think Cardi and Nicki are really dropping their feud once and for all? Or do you think some of those cuts were just too deep to ever really heal? Sound off with all your opinions in the comments below!

Thanks so much for watching! Before you go, please click to the right to watch another new video and don’t forget to subscribe to our channels! I’m your girl Allene Abrahamian and I’ll see you next time!

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The post Cardi B & Nicki Minaj LASH OUT at Each Other Before Calling Truce appeared first on Easy Health Tip.

[starinthenightsky]

Y.

YESTERDAY WAS AMAZING

Despite such a fkn great day overall

THE MORNING WAS AMAZING

I FEEL SO FREE

SO LIGHT

SO HAPPY

SO CALM

SO EMPTY

SO CONFIDENT

SO RESTED

it’s like just like that, all our ties were cut. Snip snip snip. And then everything just fell off. The stress, the trauma, the thoughts, the anxiety, the nightmares, the weight, the doubts, the insecurities, they just all fell off.

I would like to honestly say that you damaged me. You were so bad for me that 5 months on, i was still fucked up. You didn’t change my life for good in any way, you didn’t add anything to it, you just took took took and left me exhausted, drained and sad. I can honestly say that this is the only relationship that I’ve ever had where it changed me as a person. (I’m using was because as of yesterday morning I am no longer that person) I was scared of everything. Everyone. You changed me from the bright, funny, loving and fun person to someone that would voluntarily say they don’t want to go out just to stay at home. You changed me from someone who could get any guy I wanted, to someone who was to scared to accept a friend request of some guy in case he came in and ruined my life. You turned me from someone who used to smile and laugh all the time, to someone who cried and did nothing all the time.

This was the aftermath of our relationship. Of what you put me through.

But as of yesterday, I’m free. I am so free and happy and confident. And I’m so ready. I’m so ready to kick my life into high gear again and be myself again and live my life. I am so excited to move on with my life and live it the way I want and no longer let you hold me down.

I stopped myself from messaging you yesterday to tell you this next part, so I’m just gonna pray it for you instead.

James, I hope you have an amazing, great and successful future. I hope you realise that you need to change some things about yourself in order to achieve that. When you told me you were “not focusing on anything but working on yourself and travelling” I was happy for you. You need it. I want you to be successful in love and for that, slow down. Don’t fall in love with everyone, after a week of taking them out. Just wait. See if it’s really something you want to commit to. This is your journey but you need to be mindful of those you affect on your way. Find a girl like me james, and treat her better. Treat her like a queen, if you really love her. And if you don’t really love her, don’t be with her. Strive at work, do as best as you can every day because you can get to wherever you want to be. Grow up, please just grow up. It’s time. You’re almost 25 and you could be mistaken for a 15 year old. Or a 5 year old. It’s not cute, it’s actually quite sad. James, cherish your friends and love them every single day, but don’t make them your life. You will never have a successful relationship with a girl If your friends are always going to be in your ear. And finally your family, your home. Moving out is what you need to do to change your life for the better. You hate going home because of the negativity and how it makes you feel being at home, so move out. Learn how to take care of yourself. Take a step forward and up and move on with your life. Turn 25 and really turn 25. Act 25. Be a man. Love your family because they love you very much. Don’t blame them for your life. Everything that’s happened in your life is your own fault. Nothings gonna fix it but you. Definitely not your friends. Know who’s there for you out of pure thoughts, and who’s just in it for themselves. You could be the most amazing partner, son, friend and dad if you wanted to. I definitely thought you were all four when I first met you. Stay true to yourself james. Please. I really want you to have a happy life.

God bless you and your whole family. Your grandfather and uncle are looking over you and will always be there for you.