#they could also be uncle nephew but father son is the best option to make it even more impactful tbh

[aliennazero]

Thinking about why Kishibe and Yoshida Hirofumi is likely to be blood related (father-son) and not just senior/junior because of these small interractions.

I don't think Captain "I am the best devil hunterᕦ⁠(⁠ ⁠⊡⁠ ⁠益⁠ ⁠⊡⁠ ⁠)⁠ᕤ" Kishibe would let a random emokid1125 he met in a high-risk mission to basically call him an "old boomer" even as a joke.

I'm certain there's familiarity between them.

That's why Kishibe is sure about Yoshida's ability and competence when it comes to devil hunting, to have the potential to be better than him. Even though this comment also can be seen as chit-chat convos between them to make the situation more relaxed.

(Let's be real the entire casts have been through a lot in this arc in the span of like 4 hours—I also like the interpretation of this scene to be played as distraction for Yoshida because he need to kill a lot of "doll people" in the background to prevent more people turning into another dolls—IMO his character is actually kind of altruistic like Kishibe but it's a topic for another discussion).

That's why they talk more "casually" when there's only them two. They have so much trust in each other to talk about their distrust towards Makima and do commentary to the whole chaotic situations. Octopus Devil also seems okay with Kishibe and that's why it let him sit down on top of it just like Yoshida.

That kind of interractions doesn't make sense if it's truly the first time they met each other. Especially for the latter reasonings.

"They could just be senior/junior then. There's no need for them to be blood related. We had seen Kishibe put trust on his disciples like Himeno, Aki, even Denji and Power. So why it can't be the same case for Yoshida?"

Because Yoshida start his Devil Hunter carrier as private Devil Hunter, he join Public Safety later on after International Assassin Arc and before part 2. Meanwhile Kishibe is from Public Safety since the start, and one of his job is to train PS's new recruits.

Public Safety and Private DH is a different work environment. It makes no sense for Kishibe to spend time with this random private devil hunter if not because they're already related in some way.

++ Oh, another thing of why them being only senior/junior didn't make sense is because of this.

They talked about school here, very family-type of chit-chat.

Later, Kishibe offers Yoshida a cigarette, then followed by forgetting about his school grade and his age (which sounded very absent father jokes btw, and to make it even better Yoshida didn't laugh at it but rather seems irritated to the point he directly called Kishibe an idiot [馬鹿 baka] LMAO).

If Kishibe and Yoshida really are just senior/junior, Yoshida won't call him by "anta" (which is a ruder version of "anata" that means you) but rather he would call him master like any other of Kishibe's students/subordinate. But nooo, he didn't hold back from showing his rudeness in front of Kishibe. He's such a little btch of a son lol, I love him.

TLDR; Kishibe and Yoshida are so deadbeat dad and his neglected emo son coded❤️ I guarantee you'll have easier times convincing other people about this than otherwise, tbh.

Anyway sorry for being insane again, I need to to let this out from my brain.

[aroaceofthesea]

Ok so at this point (i hope) we all have accepted that the 'gods don't have dna' thing doesn't make sense so let me present an alternative:

The gods' dna is constantly changing, adapting to their current forms. Tall, white, blonde aphrodite has a dna which she passes to that one kid, while a shorter, poc aphrodite would have a different dna that is passed to another person. Of course, there is a part of it that doesn't change, which gives siblings that one bit of parentage, but it isn't enough for further connections, when two demigods would be cousins, or uncle and nephew, to affect them at all.

The kids are all told they look so much like their parent, yet when they come to camp many find that no one looks quite like them. Their parent must be a minor god, someone who doesn't really mingle a lot with mortals, right? Imagine the kid's surprise when they are claimed by a god like aphrodite and find themselves in a cabin full of people who look so different, yet they are all siblings.

'Gods don't have DNA,' the smartass counselor of the Athena cabin explains, but hey, they have studied basic biology, and even though they were never too great at it, they know enough to be sure that that's not how it works. (When they find out she ran away from home at 7 and has lived at camp ever since, her apparent stupidity makes more sense.) The Aphrodite kid, though, knows that, either they got some kind of outside 'input', or they would be a literal clone of their mortal parent. Also, they don't see how some gods' children would be so similar, with the athena kids being all blonde with grey eyes, similarly to the children of apollo. The explanations they are offered don't even start to make sense to them, and they aren't sure how no one has seen anything wrong with it. Surely the Athena kids, or anyone at camp would be smarter than them, right? They weren't even that good at anything. (They are new and haven't yet accepted magic as a plausible answer, chiron told them when confronted about it)(he did kind of agree with them when they explained everything, he hadn't had too much contact with the outside world in the past centuries, so he still accepted the old answers with the tiniest bits of science included.)

The Aphrodite kid manages to get a son of Athena to help them understand, the answer had never sat right with him but he had always explained it with magic. They ask around, but everyone at camp seems to have that stupid idea engraved in their heads, and there is only so much you can do at camp. When Lester-- Apollo, comes to camp, they see the perfect opportunity. Both of them turn up one afternoon at cabin 7 and demand an explanation from the former god.

Apollo, ex-god of medicine, among other things, is able to explain everything with detail to the pair of curious demigods. (Having such a big ego back then, he's not sure exactly why he did it. He liked them, he supposes.) He frowns when they tell him of the explanation that everyone at camp believes true, he had thought mortals were stupid, but demigods were supposed to be a little bit less dumb. How were they supposed to keep him alive if they believed that gods didn't have DNA? Apollo requests for these two not-so-stupid demigods to aid him in his journey, but they politely refuse, both of them supposedly planning to visit their mortal parent. (The son of Athena conveniently forgets to mention that his father is dead and that he'll just go one day to the cemetery.)

When Annabeth Chase comes back to camp, she's greeted by an over-enthusiastic brother and a smug-looking kid of Aphrodite who explains everything they know about the gods' DNA. The daughter of Athena is impressed, how had she never questioned that before? But she can see now that it could easily happen again, even with something so trivial as this. Maybe college isn't the best option just yet, she confides to Percy one day when they are alone. She needs to know her basics, as she had always looked for harder, more advanced things back when she first came to camp. Maybe that's why she likes architecture, she realizes, because it's all math, most of which was easy enough for her to have learnt about before running away or complex enough for post-running her to find interesting. Architecture is something she can understand, but there are many other things that she can't, and it's not because she's not smart enough, it's because she doesn't know the basics.

So for the first time in her life, Annabeth swallows her pride and studies something easy, something she should have started so long ago. And just a year later, she and Percy go to college in New Rome, safe from monster attacks. (They drop out after a while because they are too safe from the monster attacks they are so used to. Also, they feel like they would be more useful helping to fend off monsters and making sure no one goes through what they did again.)

The Aphrodite kid is accepted by the Athena cabin as an honorary sibling. They and their now best friend and brother the son of Athena grow closer with the years, and by some miracle they both live to adulthood, past the point where their smell diminishes and they will be safe outside the barrier. (It totally has nothing to do with how the sun glows a little bit brighter around them, filling them with energy which is enough to make that one feint to kill the last cyclops, and helping any wound heal a little bit faster than most would, even for a demigod.)

[osakunt]

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➬ 𝗧𝗮𝗶𝗷𝘂 𝘅 𝗙𝗲𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 [𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀𝗸𝗶𝗽]

➬ 𝗪𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: 𝗔 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗯𝗮 𝘀𝗶𝗯𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘁

➬ 𝗠𝘆 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘆𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘀𝘄𝗼𝗼𝗻 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗧𝗮𝗶𝗷𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗼𝗳𝗳𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗯𝗲𝗴𝘂𝗻 !!!! 𝗹𝗲𝘁𝘀 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘄𝗲 ?! 🦟🦗🦟🦗

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The sun smacks the crap out of Taiju when you yank the curtains open. The sun rays hit him right in the eyes, interrupting his sleep. Pulling the blankets over his head he tries to continue his deep slumber but you had other plans

Opening up the window you let the cold air come into the room, instantly making the buff man stir under the covers to find a warm spot. Feeling around for you in his sleep, he gives up, feeling that your side of the bed was completely cold. Grunting he turns back to his side while wrapping the warm covers around him tightly so no cold air could reach him.

Going another step further, you flop on the bulk of a man, uncovering his face to wake him up with ghost kisses to his face. You start at is forehead - move to his left cheek then his right. Lastly his lips. “C’mon Tai. It’s late” you whisper. In return you get a grunt and light shove.

Laying chest down on him you start to poke him and run your hand through his blue locks. Booping his nose and opening up his eyes, he finally peaks his eyes open giving you a straight but calm look. “Why are you like this ?” he smile unraveling himself from the covers to expose his naked upper body to trap you in his hold. Tattoos glistening under the rays of the sun and skin starting to perk with goosebumps from the cold air.

“I let you sleep in long enough. The business ain’t gonna run itself , ya know ?”

“I have workers for that, sweetheart. There’s no need for me to go in”

“I got a call from there just now. Your little worker bitches got in a fight over who admires you the most. You need to go deal with that” you get out his hold and get out of bed to fully slide the window open and let the cold - cold air wonder fully in. “Ohhhh - A special someone called saying they wanted to meet with you. So imma need you to get up and at least get dressed”.

“Someone ? Who the hell would want to see me ? Except for you of course” you can feel the sly smirk sliding across his lips.

“Shut the fuck up” you throw a shirt at him before walking out “the special person it Hakkai !!” You yell out making your way downstairs.

“Hakkai ?…that’s not new. He’s been wanting to hang out more….” Taiju whispers to himself. His heart warms up as he repeats your words over and over. He was happy to know that his younger siblings were reaching out. He was also happy because if it weren’t for them, he wouldn’t have met you.

“This is (y/n), don’t try to hit her” Yuzuha glared at him when you two walk into the house with Hakkai close behind.

“I don’t care. Just don’t piss me off” he glanced over his shoulder and quickly goes back to what he was doing. Only thing was that on that one little glance, you caught his attention and he had to double take what he had just seen. Turning his whole body around his eyes fall in contact with your and you roll your eyes at his way of being then going back to talk to with his siblings.

Your stops at their house became more frequent when you saw Hakkai with a swollen cheek and Yuzuha with a purple mark on her neck, with signs of choking.

You bust through the doors of their house and walk right up to the Black Dragons leader who was lounging on the couch with his feet kicked up on the coffee table. “The hell did you !?”. Taiju didn’t even blink and yet didn’t know how he had a gun to his chin and you on top of him.

He didn’t feel rage. It was more of a flustered feeling . Him avoiding eye contact was what gave it away. He sat there still not knowing how to react - he sat there waiting for you to pull the trigger.

“(Y/n) please don’t”

Hakkai grabs your arm making you pull the trigger and missing your aim. Next thing y’all know - Taiju is laughing at you having guts to even threaten him. “Not bad. You didn’t completely miss” he point to his tattooed - grazed shoulder.

After the confrontation at the church, Taiju left but found a way to get to you. He remembers picking up the phone anxiously to dial the number he was provided. When your voice was heard from the other side of the line - he froze.

It took some good convincing to get you to go out with him but at the end you noticed his character change. You saw that he wasn’t the same. He was more calm. Less annoyed and with no animosity circling him. It was like being in a presence of a whole different person.

From there things came to be to what they are now. You still being friends with Hakkai and Yuzuha, you let them take all the time they needed to ease into the idea of having an actually bond with their older brother. A sibling bond where there was no physical nor mental violence.

“-pa”

“Helloooo ?! Papa !!!!”

A young boy with blue hair and the same eyes as him looks up at Taiju - calling for his attention.

“Hm ? What’s wrong, shorty ?” Taiju looks down at the boy, bringing him up in his arms

“ ‘M not short” the child pouts

“Of course you aren’t….For a three year old” he laughs bouncing the young boy in his arms. The laughter erupting from the child was what made Taiju feel complete. He was the missing puzzle that completed the agonizing puzzle Taiju used to be. He had you, his siblings and last but most important his three year old son who had his looks but your personality - a sprinkle of Yuzuha’s spunk with a dash of Hakkai’s shyness.

“Uncle Kai is here…mommy said hurry or she’ll drag you down” his son smiles not having a clue of what he just said. He was asked to deliver a message not to understand it after all.

Knowing that you were capable of doing exactly what you said, Taiju sat his son in the middle of the bed and pulled out clothes - showing the child the options to choose from. “Help me pick, buddy”

Once finally dressed the father-son duo make their way downstairs to be received with laughter coming from you and his siblings. Hakkai looking up - he smiles seeing his brother and nephew approaching. He gets up to greet his brother along with his sister. Small hugs with cherished hello’s are exchanged.

“Just came by to see how things are, ya know ? Heard that something happened at your place of work. Bet being the boss scares the hell outta those employees” Hakkai jokes

“I’ve been wanting to punch a few of them” Taiju adds a chuckle to his statement but everyone knew that he was being serious.

“I can punch them !!” The blue haired boy exclaims with pride, showing how he’d punch one of the hosts that once flirted with you.

“No,baby - Let’s put ketchup in his pocket” Taiju’s smirk appears once again.

“C’mon Tai, do better. ” You grab your beloved son from him

“Don’t be a pussy, Taiju. Pour hot sauce into his drink” Yuzuha adds in

“Yeaa. We can watch him try to calm the heat in his mouth but we’ll add hot sauce to any other beverage” Hakkai instigates smiling

“We can even eat while watching him” you wiggle your eyebrows adding into the ‘plan’.

“Wow …..We aren’t a normal family…..” Yuzuha states states the obvious.

“Far from it” You say grabbing your coat

“I like it 🤷🏻‍♀️” Hakkai shrugs opening the door to greet the ice cold wind.

“Same here” you all agree that normal wasn’t the best word to describe the family. Even if the family wasn’t normal; to all of you it was normal and didn’t mind having it that way.

“Let’s not get arrested though”

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I just know that this man became a softy after the timeskip. I mean look at him. He showed that he cared for his brother on that time line where Hakkai dies. Not only that but I truly feel like he always cared but he just didn’t know how to show it so he resorted to violence to show that he did.

[ladyviserra]

Any ideas for being the Lannister that Sansa is forced to marry? Maybe Cersei, Jamie & Tyrion’s younger half sibling/Tywin’s youngest son from a second wife? Or maybe even Tyrion’s legitimate son? Closer to her age and kinda also v v done with his scheming family? Wants to make the best of the situation they’re in? Did they meet before this or was he summoned to kings landing for the wedding & told about it when he arrived to thwart the tyrell plot? Feel free to throw around your own ideas! Thanks!

sansa stark being married to a lannister

Tywin possibly wanted another child with who he can have some use

Tywin gets a son from his second wife and for now he is satisfied

I imagine he is born a at least 3/4 years earlier than Sansa

One of the better Lannisters

Tywin's son would be ambitious and very into politics

I see him as a little bit of Tyrion and some other bit like Jaime

Sword fighting with Jaime was probably the way they were close

Playing games with Tyrion, but not being close enough, wanting to show he was still loyal to his father (and was on his side)

Cersei would spare looks at her younger half-brother but would consider him more like a family than Tyrion

A respectful and promising young man someone Tywin would be proud of

He was probably with Tywin, when the rest of his children went to Winterfell

He arrived at King's Landing just before the rest of the family, Tywin leaving him welcome them, get close to the family as he had charm to him to which Starks are too naive to notice

Starting a friendship with Arya

Avoids being seen with his family, trying to make it seem like he is the best Lannister

Not liking Joffrey's behaviour to Sansa and finding it incredibly rude but having a great advantage with it, making himself look like a saviour by apologising for his manners

Sansa having a crush on him and Joffrey (Joff being handsome and I bet Cersei and Jaime didn't get all of those good looks only from Joanna, plus Tywin's son is charming and young lad)

Attending the Hand's tourney, but doesn't participate in it

Saving some time to talk to Eddard who already heard how good he was with his daughters, gaining respect from Lord of Winterfell

Then Robert died and Joffrey became king

And Ned was executed, Sansa being not so keen about it

Reporting all of his work to his father who is in a battle with Robb

Keeping his friendship with Sansa while failing to find Arya

Letting Sansa come to him whenever she is upset about the way she is being treated

After Tywin comes back from the war, Joffrey puts Sansa aside and is betrothed to Margaery, Tywin arranges a marriage between his youngest son and Sansa

Now when Sansa hears of the news she is still sad about her families' death but is happy about the fact she wouldn't be marrying the King

Not a bad option, heiress to Winterfell as his wife, not a bad match at all

In this wedding, however, there is no humiliation, not even for Sansa because this is Tywin's real son who is being marry

So even if Joffrey's dying wish was to make fun of his uncle and former betrothal it wouldn't happen ( Lannisters are not fools and won't be treated like one)

Tyrion on the other hand is the target his nephew decided to test

Eventually, King's wedding comes around and he is killed, of course, his " dearest " uncle is blamed for poisoning him, but not Sansa

Rising a suspicion on who could it be, even believing it was Tyrion he is on the side of the Lannisters

Oberyn once again is chosen to be Tyrion's champion and dies

Fleeing from his execution, Sansa and her husband are sent to Casterly Rock after Tywin's funreal

What I think became a trauma for him, after his father's death he immediately becomes Lord of Casterly Rock (Cersei is a woman, Jaime is in Kingsguard and Tyrion wanted criminal) making Sansa Lady of Casterly Rock

In Westerlands I would say they fall in love, genuinely and live there with his mother and the rest of the family

Not visiting King's Landing at all and seeing where his sister's madness has gone to and now being the man he was destined to be he turns against the throne and his half-sister

That angers Cersei as he was one of her blood, betraying her

Earning the trust of many Cersei's enemies the queen doesn't attack him

Rushing to North and with Arryns crushing the Boltons

From then he returns to Casterly Rock and has a good chance of stopping Greyjoys

Eventually finding Bran and making Sansa very happy, the rest is not his concern so what happens in King's Landing bothers him the least(Cersei mostly likely dies, Jaime too and Tyrion is probably still hanging around with Dany having much more use of her)

Lovely ending, they stay married and have children, living happily ever after

Less nice of an ending, he dies from the wounds he received during the battles

[sdvvillagers]

Families reactions for bachelorettes and bachelors expecting a baby? (｡◕‿‿◕｡) Who would be extatic about becoming grandparent/auntie and so on, and who'd be scared of new role?

First off, I am SO DANG SORRY for how long it took me to answer this.  Seriously, this ask has been in my inbox for months (along with another one that I SWEAR I’ll get to!  I’m sorry!).  Long asks like these make my brain seize up and it takes awhile to kick my brain in the pants and reboot it.  I tried to keep all responses vague in terms of spouse (for male or female partner) as well as vague in terms of pregnancy versus adoption.  Enjoy!

Alex - Evelyn and George never thought they’d see the day that they would become great-grandparents.  It seemed so far-fetched that they’d never really considered it as an option, not even when Alex got married.  It wasn’t until they actually heard Alex announce that he was going to be a father that the reality set in.  Evelyn was so overjoyed she burst into tears, beckoning Alex over to her so she could squeeze him as hard as her frail arms possibly could.  George was happy, of course, but more than anything he was proud.  Not only proud of Alex and what a wonderful father he would be, but admittedly proud of himself for living so full a life that he lived long enough to see himself become a great-grandfather.

Sam - Jodi has been excited about the prospect of having grandchildren ever since Sam was born.  Having a family and children of her own is rewarding, she can’t deny that, but there’s something different about grandkids.  She saw the way her own parents interacted with Sam and later Vincent, and saw a far more carefree relationship.  Grandparents don’t have to be disciplinarians, they don’t have to enforce strict bedtimes or limit sugar intake, they don’t have to clean up after messes or potty train.  Jodi loves being a mother when it comes to interacting with her children, it’s everything else that gets overwhelming.  Jodi definitely shrieks in excitement when Sam announces that he’s going to be a father.  Kent, usually a quiet and stoic man, will struggle to hold back his emotions as he congratulates his son.  It isn’t until later when he has a moment alone that he properly processes the news and finally allows himself to feel properly excited about it.  So much of his own children’s lives was missed by him, he hopes he can be a more present in the life of his grandchild.  And Vincent… well, Vincent is just tickled by the idea that he’ll be an uncle before he even turns 10 and will insist that everyone start calling him “Uncle Vincent” before the baby even arrives.

Seb - Robin has NO CHILL when it comes to Seb announcing that he’s going to be a father.  For years Robin worried about Seb, concerned that he would be a hermit forever and would never live a life outside of the basement.  Seeing Seb flourish the way he has and meet someone new was rewarding enough and even once Seb was in a relationship, Robin wasn’t sure if children were ever on his radar.  He didn’t seem like he wanted kids in his life and Robin still would have been happy for him even if he never pursued having children… at least that’s what she thought until the moment Seb announced he was going to be a father.  Full-on freakout on Robin’s part.  Demetrius is outwardly proud of Sebastian and congratulates him, but a part of Demetrius is worried.  His relationship as a father figure to Sebastian never really worked out and he wonders what his place will be in the life of Sebastian’s child and whether he will be treated as a grandfather or not.  Maru is SO excited to become an auntie, already she starts thinking of all the cool and fun things she wants to do with her niece/nephew.  She’s bound and determined to be the stereotypical “fun aunt”.

Shane - Marnie has spent most of her life worrying about Shane for various reasons; worried about his alcohol dependence, worried about his depression, worried about his loneliness, worried about his future.  When Shane finally does meet someone, Marnie is ecstatic.  Of course someone new will never fix a person in itself, having a partner at least helps to motivate Shane to get his life on the right track.  Marnie is absolutely thrilled when Shane announces he’s going to be a father and this is one area where she’s not worried one bit.  She’s seen how he is with Jas and what a wonderful father figure he’s been to her, Marnie’s just happy that he’ll have the chance to have this experience from the beginning.  As for Jas, she couldn’t be happier.  It’s always been a bit lonely for her, it’s been tough for her to find her place in the family dynamic.  But with Shane getting married and now a new baby arriving, Jas finally feels like she’s settling into a family and becoming part of something she’s always wanted.

Abigail - Caroline and Pierre are so proud of the woman that Abi has grown into.  Yes, they had their disagreements as Abi was growing up and even into her young adulthood, but those were all overcome once Abi started to make a life for herself.  It was worrisome to both Caroline and Pierre when Abi was so carefree and didn’t have a direction she wanted to go in life, it seemed like the last thing in life she wanted was to settle down and live a domestic life.  Apparently all Abi needed was to find the right person to complement her and everything fell into place.  Abi is still the somewhat rebellious girl she had been and there’s still many things Pierre and Caroline will never understand about her, but it at least brings them comfort to see her happy.  When she announces that she’s going to be a mother, Pierre and Caroline are relieved and overjoyed.  It was never anything they thought would happen to them when their only child was so outwardly against domesticity, but they’re so happy that she found a way to live that life and still be happy.

Emily - When Emily announces that she is going to be a mother, Haley literally SHRIEKS in excitement.  At this point in her life Haley might not be ready for a baby, but that doesn’t mean she’s not completely excited to have one in her life.  What follows is the biggest shopping trip of Haley’s life, she finds herself buying more in preparation for the new baby than even Emily does.  No niece or nephew of Haley’s will go unspoiled.  She can’t wait to be the cool aunt.

Haley - It’s strange for Emily when she hears that Haley will be a mother.  Most of Emily’s life was spent caring for Haley more as her mother than as her sister, it isn’t until recently that they’ve been able to find a happy place in their relationship where Emily can finally feel like a sister.  Now the dynamic is changing once again and Emily feels more like a grandmother than an auntie, the connection to Haley and her child is that strong.  Somehow calling herself an aunt just doesn’t seem powerful enough, it doesn’t seem worthy enough.  Emily knows she will be more than just an aunt to Haley’s child and has ever intention of treating her niece or nephew the way any grandmother would.

Maru - Robin and Demetrius beam with pride when Maru announced that she’s going to be a mother.  While Demetrius always focused more on Maru’s success in her studies and her career, Robin always worried in the back of her mind if this measure of success was the only one Maru would cling to.  Robin hoped that Maru would learn that her success could be measured just as much by her personal relationships and family life and that Maru was smart enough and driven enough to have it all.  Seeing Maru in a happy relationship and hearing the news that she’s starting a family is a relief to Robin to see that she never devalued having a family and it’s a relief to Demetrius to see that his motivated daughter is living a full life.  Sebastian isn’t outwardly excited about the prospect of being an uncle, then again there isn’t much he’s outwardly excited about.  Inwardly, though, he’s strangely looking forward to being an uncle.  Yes, it will be awkward and he’s certainly never been a fan of babies or even small children, but somehow the idea of playing Solarian Chronicles with his niece or nephew many years from now is a vision he can’t stop seeing and enough to get him actually excited.

Penny - Pam knows how long Penny has waited for this moment and it’s for that reason that Pam is actually quite worried for her.  Pam knows how much the idea of being a wife and mother has been glorified in Penny’s mind but Pam understands from experience just how difficult parenting can really be.  It’s hard to truly make someone understand just how hard parenting can be and that it’s not the beautiful, rewarding experience it can sometimes be painted as.  Parenting can be soul-crushing, it can be exhausting, it can be overwhelming, and Pam worries that Penny might not be ready for that aspect of it.  Of course Pam is thrilled at the news that she’ll be a grandmother, but a part of her is also worried about what kind of grandmother she’ll be.  She fully acknowledges that she wasn’t exactly the best mother in the world and that somehow Penny turned out okay in spite of that.  Being told that she’ll be a grandmother gives Pam some relief that maybe she’ll get a second chance… she just hopes she won’t screw it up.

[bezdddakota]

So I finished The Last Of Us 2....

Where do I begin?? Let’s start with Abby because she is the only character people want to talk about.

I don’t hate Abby but I have many issues with her like the developers really wanted you to like her over Ellie and they pushed really hard on it too. Like they have her make these jokes like Ellie would in the first game and they make her take care of Yara and Lev ( who is my favorite character in the entire game btw ) like Joel took care of Ellie. Basically her entire part of the game is Joel from the first game but super short and. I feel  like if the game was made soley about her and get rid of the flashback scene and have them tell us at the end that Joel killed her father then people wouldn’t hate her as much. ( also her parts were my favorite part of the game but they were short tbh or I just ran through it. Took me 6 hours ).

Oh Ellie, my sweet girl. What the hell did they do to you?!?!?! You were full of life and in this game, they just sucked the life out of you and all because of your survivor's guilt and how you blame Joel for it?? I was confused by how she didn’t pick on Jesse in the very beginning when he woke her up or even with Dina later. She’d pull out a Playgirl and ask why the pages were stuck together 4 weeks after she saw her best friend die in front of her!!! She couldn’t make a stupid pun with her GIRLFRIEND during the open world exploring of Seattle?!?!?! She went through so much just for her to be a former shell of herself?!?!? The closest she was to her old self was with JJ and even then she was like the cool aunt who never sees her nieces and nephews twice a year!!!  

And the game plays like a melodrama, like the first one gave you a beginning you couldn’t forget and then gave you a cutscene that you had to listen to so you could understand what Joel has been doing for the past few years while this one starts with Ellie waking up and apologizing to Jesse because his ex girlfriend kissed her the night before and you NEVER SEE THE MAGICAL NIGH T UNTIL NEAR THE END OF THE GAME!!!!!! And that are sooo many flashbacks, too many to even make a coherent story out of it. Abby gets hit in the head, flashback to the time she told Owen where Joel was, Ellie plays the guitar, flashback to a time with Joel. I’m too busy worried about what Abby was doing to worry about her getting that high score, ok!?!?!?

And for some reason, I feel the game was never meant to be a sequel you know?? I mean, you don’t have to play the first game to understand this one and that makes me thinks that they made this game for people who never played the first one and they made sure that EVERYONE could play the game, they got options for people with vision problems, people with hearing problems and how you can customize your game with changing the difficulty settings for you, the enemies, how many supplies you find. It’s very impressive and although there are glitches still left in the game, ( my square button is still fucked, Naughty Dog!!! I can’t fend off a clicker or hit anyone with a board. I can’t even use photo mode!!!! ).

And the one thing that bothers me more than anything is that Abby never explained to Ellie why she killed Joel or even to Joel, for that matter. It really bothers if I see someone gets punished for something that wasn’t explained to them like “ my name is Abby Anderson, you killed my father. Prepare to die “, simple. And not even Ellie explained why she hunted her down. No one explained the things they were doing but do you know who explained why he was looking for a grown man traveling with a little girl. DAVID THE CANNIBAL!!!!  Because he at least told Ellie why and unfortunately that game did the whole “ your actions will come back to haunt you “ because David was terrifying.

This game looks beautiful and when the game lets you, it can be a lot of fun but the cutscenes have to remind you it’s Clinical Depression: the game and it is so obvious it wasn’t made for people who loved the first one.

Side notes because I forgot to mention them. 

SOMEONE SHOULD HAVE DIED IN THE FINAL SCENE.

Ellie lost her wife and kid just to get to Abby and she lets her go because of another frigging flashback?? It doesn’t feel like the game is saying “ revenge is bad “ but Ellie killed so many people along the way just because she could get to Abby and she just lets her go?? Either Ellie or Abby should have died because we spent too much time with them.

Another thing that bothers me other is all the LGBT characters gets the worst deal out of everyone in the game. 

The Scars want to kill Lev because he didn’t want to be a child bride and shaved his head and he accidentally killed his mother in self defense because she was going to kill him and witnessed his sister die in front of him and his home burn to the ground.

Ellie sees her father figure die in front of her, travels to Seattle to kill her and sees her uncle get blinded, her friend dead and when she travels to Santa Barbra to finally finish it, she loses her ring finger and her pinky and returns homes to find her wife gone because she could no longer take the cycle of violence and revenge.

Dina actually gets off better then Ellie and Lev but not by much, she has her ex boyfriend and father of her child die because he followed Ellie to Seattle and she leaves Ellie because again she could no longer take the cycle of violence and revenge and took her son away from her and possibly Jackson.

Edit: I unfortunately forgot to mention that if anyone is POC than they die. Manny, Jesse, Nora, Issac and Yara.

For a game that claimed to be diverse, they really dropped the ball on this

[onomonopetabread]

Declawing the Cat - Chapter 3

(Sorry it took so long guys, between testing and homework and executive functioning, I could NOT get this done. Anyways,

“Father, do I have to go?” Adrien asked for the hundredth time.

“Of course Adrien. I refuse to go on a business trip as important as this one without you. You’re my son.”

Felix rolled his eyes. He and his mother were visiting the two bachelors (against his actual will, obviously). Everyone in the room knew the real reason why Adrien had to go; he was the face of the brand, and it was common fashion knowledge that to go to such a high-ranking event without your leading model would get you shunned and cancelled. ‘You’re my son’ EVERYONE’S arse.

It was obvious that Adrien was all too aware of this fact, because he couldn’t seem to run out of excuses for why he couldn’t go.

Well, he could also not wish to go because of how brain-numbingly boring the whole affair is, and honestly, who could blame him? This year’s Annual Pre-Junior’s Fashion Competition Assembly was being held in Sydney, and all of the biggest names in the industry were going to attend. The assembly takes place over the course of two. Entire. Months. For what, not even the attendees know. Felix swears, these designers were as mad as a bag of ferrets.

I mean, if you’re into that sort of thing, like Miss I’m-all-that Ginger Breadhouse, you’d probably be in Seventh Heaven there, but if you were, how do you say, normal, you’d sell your soul to be another else. In fact, Felix could almost bet Chat Noir’s Miraculous that Adrien would sign that demonic contract in a heartbeat if that were an option.

“But Father, what about school? I’ll miss so much instruction-”

“Natalie will tutor you, just like she did before you attended that … institution.”

“And my fencing practice? Surely, you wouldn’t want me to miss out on those.”

“Adrien, are you suggesting that they don’t have fencing areas in Sydney?”

“No, I’m just saying that fencing without Kagami wouldn’t be the same…”

“Well, you aren’t going to be fencing with her forever, so think of this as a sample for the future. Now, no more of this arguing, Adrien. You are going to the Assembly and that’s final. Have I made myself clear?”

Adrien’s shoulders slumped in defeat and for a heartbeat, Felix felt sympathetic. “Yes, Father.”

“Good, now go pack some clothes you will need for the weeks. We won’t be at the events the entire time, so I will permit you to bring some of your own wardrobe. Please remember we will be there for a long time, so pack accordingly.”

And with that, they were all dismissed. Adrien trugged upstairs looking particularly peeved. He invited Felix to come with him, and Felix agreed, but only to keep up appearances. If he knew any better, Felix would have sworn that he heard him talking to someone on the way up, but he decided to ignore it; he couldn’t be bothered to guess what weird habits his wanker of a cousin had.

Once they got to Adrien’s room, Felix sat himself down at the piano while Adrien took out a suitcase from his closet and started choosing some informal clothing for when they were just doing day-to-day activities.

“Can you believe that he’s making me go, Felix?”

“Yes, I can believe it.”

“AND we have to leave tomorrow! I won’t even get the chance to say goodbye to our friends.

“Not to worry, cousin dearest. I’ll tell them for you. Anyways, don’t look at this trip as a burden, look at it as a new opportunity. You can gather information and resources for your friend Marinette.”

Adrien’s face brightened at the mention of his friend and Felix rolled his eyes when his back was turned. He swears, all it takes to cheer him up was to be reminded that Pigtails was alive and well somewhere on the planet.

“You’re right, Felix! This way I can help her pursue her dreams! I can’t wait until we get back to tell her everything I’ve learned about the industry.”

“...Can’t you just text or call her?”

“You mean with my phone?”

“No Adrien, I mean with a plastic banana you can buy at the baby store. Yes I mean your phone!”

Adrien paused in the middle of folding a t-shirt and packing it into a suitcase. “I didn’t tell you? Father confiscated it for ‘my own good’. He thinks I spend too much time around my friends and not enough time focusing on my studies, so it’s with him for the time being.”

Well, there goes Felix’s plan to pull a quick cell prank before Adrien leaves. “Adrien Bartholomew Agreste, is that resent I hear in your voice?”

“Yes, it is. I’m tired of responsibilities and having people depend on me every second that I breathe. That’s why I wanted to go to school in the first place; it gives me eight hours of non-Agreste related freedom.”

Felix narrowed his eyes. What did this boy know about responsibilities? All he had to do was play a keyboard, wave a stick around, and look pretty for pictures. Felix couldn’t understand how a job like that could burden someone so badly.

“Goodness, Adrien. You make it sound as though Uncle asks you to carry the weight of the entire ever-loving world on your shoulders.”

Adrien sighed. “That’s just how I feel, sometimes. Anyways, I think these are all of the casual clothing Father will let me take with me. Maybe if I’m lucky, he might not see the video game I hid under them all.”

The next day was a Saturday, so Felix the delivery boy was going to have to give the mega-twits the message at a later time. Today, it was all about acting as emotional as he could for the departure of his Cousin & Co. gabriel thought it would be a good idea for Felix and his mother to stop by the mansion every once in a while to make sure everything was all right, accounted for, and in the case of the house plants, watered. This was news to Felix. He doubted his uncle was even a living being, let alone the type of person to have plants in his home. Right now, they were standing next to the family limo. Natalie and gabriel were talking to Ape Man about transportation in Australia.

“Oh, darling Adrien, I’m so sad to see you go. We only just now got here, and you’re leaving. Why must the fates keep up apart?”

“It’s alright, Aunt Amilie. We’ll be back before you even realize we’re gone.”

“We? Oh, I wasn’t talking about your father, dear. I wouldn’t mind some time away from him. Anyways, I hope you have the best time in Australia. Bring something back for me, will you? I’ve always wanted to get a real boomerang, ever since I was a young girl.”

“I’ll be sure to get you the best boomerang in the country, Aunt A. What about you Felix? Do you want me to get you anything?”

Felix, who was standing some ways behind the others, pretended to ponder it over. “Bring me a friendship bracelet.”

“...A friendship bracelet?”

“If you can’t find one it’s okay I really don’t mind-”

“No, I’ll get you a bracelet. I was only surprised because you aren’t really the type to want one.”

He’s right- there was no way on Good Green Earth would he want some dingly little arts and crafts project. There also wasn’t any way that maybe he wanted his cousin thinking about him during his trip, that he wanted to envision Adrien getting something for him. Don’t even think about considering that Felix felt bad for him, dealing with the devil himself in a new place and wanting to give him something to do. Nope. Not a chance. Felix simply thought that Adrien would look hilarious running around Australia looking for beads and twine.

“...Just make sure you make me a good one, alright?”

Adrien smiled as though he could read right into Felix’s mind, and of course he had to look completely handsome in doing so. Stupid model. They practically had the same face and somehow Felix ended up looking like the off-brand knockoff.

“Adrien, we have to go now. The plane leaves in five hours,” gabriel said, entering the car.

“Why do we need to leave so soon?”

“So that I can buy fabrics with threads, gather all of my designs, double check with Natalie that the suite is still booked for us-”

“Alright, Father. I understand. Well, bye Felix. I’ll miss you.”

With that, he entered the limousine and the four of them drove away.

“Come Felix. Let’s go check the house for anything they might have accidentally left behind. We wouldn’t want them to leave something important,” said Amilie, still a little teary-eyed over the loss of her precious little baby nephew. She couldn’t stand the idea of being away from him for so long, even though his look-alike (her own bloody son) was right in front of her. Of course, Felix wasn’t bitter! Why wouldn’t ever say such a thing?

“Yes, Mother. Would you like me to check Adrien’s room?”

“Please, dear. Oh, look at you, watching over your cousin! And to think you said you wouldn’t like him!”

It was as though his mother never met him. Couldn’t she see that he was just trying to gain some sort of upper hand against Mr. Perfect or to uncover a secret of his? On the sunny side, at least he knows his facade is effective. He was beginning to worry that someone other than Blue-Eyed Phoenix Wright would figure him out.

Felix pushed open the door of Adrien’s room and immediately began to look around and turn things over. He was being extremely careful to make sure that everything he touched was put back in the place he got it from. After looking through his closet and library, however, he was disappointed to find that Adrien was actually as innocent as he seemed (and acted). In fact, the worst thing he could find was a disturbing amount of Ladybug memoria. It was a pity, really. Felix hadn’t blackmailed anyone in a long time, and he was beginning to get antsy. He turned around and headed out.

“Adrien, is that you? I thought you said you weren’t going to come back for another two months.”

Felix did a complete 180 and faced the source of the voice, which seemed to be some sort of floating cat-thing. It looked like a deer in headlights.

“You aren’t Adrien. Wait, are you okay, you seem to be swaying-?”

The thing was right; he was feeling woozy, and it didn’t take him that long to hit the floor, having fainted. The last thing he heard was the talking cat muttering,

“Shit.”

@myazael @2confused-2doanything @thecaptainthunder @thatonecroc @symwinter @mermaidreject @pink-and-bunny @kyrakitesong @your-number-one-second-choice @kayla0binow @hansa-12 @fc-studios @nom-the-king @thetrashypanda423 @chez-pezeater @supertomboyprincess @alyceeve @ceres-zephyr @swiftie-miraculer13 @justafanwarrior @marinettepotterandplagg @starlightshield @sandraf0612

[the-last-cuddlebender]

Since I don't really enjoy character death fics (I'm an absolute crying mess after reading them😂😭) I request a fluffy fic where, a few months after bumi is born, the gaang get together and they all want to carry bumi after not seeing him for so long😂🤷‍♀️

Character death fics chip away my soul I stg (tho I might just make that fic a coming-home fix since I left Aang’s death kindof dubious👀)

This prompt was a lot more fun than I anticipated lol. I’m still a tad loopy from my fever, so grammar may or may not be optional😅. I hope you enjoy my hot mess madness tho!

(Bestuncle!Sokka? Bestuncle!Sokka😤)

Words: 1,023

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“Sokka.”

“No.”

“Sokka...”

“No.”

“Sokka—!”

“You just had him! It’s my turn! Besides, I’m his favorite.” Sokka bumped his nose with Bumi’s and tickled his tummy with his fingers. Bumi was hardly as big as a loaf of bread, but his laugh was as loud as Appa’s happy-groan-growl. “Isn’t that right, Boom-erang? Yes, it is. Yes, it is~ Ow!”

Bumi didn’t let go of Sokka’s finger even as Sokka stomped his foot and bit his lip to hold back a curse that would have given Katara more than enough reason to end him. Bumi may not have any teeth, but, Spirits, did the kid have some jaw strength.

“That, Snoozles, is called karma.” Toph simultaneously scooped Bumi from under his arms and bumped her hip to Sokka’s; and though the touch seemed light, the Water Tribe warrior left a dent in the wall as he flew from the blow.

(Zuko winced and probed Sokka’s drooling, almost-broken form. Sokka clung to life...but just barely.)

Maternity suited Toph just as beautifully as Katara, and Bumi smiled a supernova when she cradled him in her arms. His grasping hands reached for her face and patted her cheeks to feel the curve of her smile.

“Awwww, look at you, little warrior,” Suki cooed. She offered her fingers for Bumi to latch onto, and his giggle reached crescendo as she wiggled his little fists. “You are absolutely adorable. You’ve grown so much!”

“He’s heavier, too.” Toph frowned. “And a little cold. Hey, Flames-for-Brains—”

Zuko was a shadow at Suki’s shoulder and already curling his hands under Bumi’s bum and back. It had taken him a while to learn how to hold Bumi just right, but now Zuko accepted the transfer with ease.

Bumi froze, looked shocked, and then turned to bury his face in the little sun holding him.

Suki cooed some more. “Looks like you’ve got some best-uncle competition, Sokka.”

Sokka was on his feet in the next second. He looked at Suki like she just grew a third head. “What?!” he cried, his voice cracking like when they were kids. 

They all laughed, Sokka sulked, and none of them thought anything of Sokka’s (or their own) volume until Bumi flinched and sniffled.

Then he started to cry.

And Sokka looked ready to throw himself on a pyre to save his nephew from even one more tear.

“Sokka!” Suki hissed. Zuko looked as ticked as she sounded.

“Oh, nononono, it’s okay Boom-erang. It’s okay. I’m sorry.” Sokka tripped over himself to offer his hands to the babe in a small sign of apology. “It’s okay. Uncle Sokka was just being silly.”

Bumi’s tears thinned to small streams...

...but not before the Avatar tore through the temple to save his crying little world. 

Aang turned the corner at such a high speed and at such a sharp angle that he slid, parallel to the ground, into the adjacent wall. He was shirtless, shoeless, and so flushed with panic that he rearranged his facial anatomy with how wide he made his eyes.

“Bumi?” He fell twice before standing. “Guys, where—What’s Bumi—?”

“Calm down, Twinkletoes. Bumi is fine. Sokka is just a moron.”

“It was an accident!” Sokka pleaded in a whisper.

Aang teleported to Zuko’s side. Bumi turned to his father like a sunflower did to the sun—knowing where he was and grasping for him even though his eyes were closed. 

Once Aang had little Bumi safe in his arms, his world stopped tilting all crooked. His baby boy’s cry was broken by a comforted sound—content—that muted his next whine into a dull whimper. Smacking his lips, Bumi cuddled into the warm safety that held him, but he squirmed when he found no robe to hold onto.

“Shhh, shhh, shhh...It’s okay, Boom-Boom. Daddy’s here. Shhh…” Aang held Bumi high enough so one of his hands could anchor onto his prayer beads. Bumi’s other hand flailed until it found the fingers of Aang’s free hand, and Bumi finally—finally, bless the Spirits—calmed. He almost looked on the verge of sleep. He curled into his father’s chest, bodily hugged Aang’s hand, and gently gnawed his fingers.

Then it was quiet.

Then Toph smacked the back of Sokka’s head.

Then Suki did, too.

“Ow! What was that for?”

They said nothing, but their glares said everything. Zuko walked up, pinched the bridge of his nose, and flicked between Sokka’s eyes.

“Seriously?!”

“Hehe!”

They all looked over at father and son. Bumi giggled again and held Aang’s finger a little bit tighter.

“There’s that smile,” Aang said. He kissed Bumi’s head and blew a small raspberry that made his son giggle even louder and squirm even more.

Then Aang stopped. 

And Bumi looked at Sokka expectantly.

Then Bumi started to cry.

Suki turned on Sokka. “What did you do?!” she demanded in a whisper that shook the room like a shout.

“I didn’t do anything!”

“Sokka!”

“I swear, Zuko! I swear!”

Toph smacked the back of Sokka’s head again.

And Bumi…Bumi giggled.

Toph smiled something evil. “I think Bumi thought that was funny.”

Zuko pinched between his eyes and mumbled a dozen different prayers to a dozen different deities. Sokka backed up like he wanted to do the same, especially when Bumi cried again.

“Now, now, come on, guys, let’s not—Come on, Suki, I know at least you can’t…u-um…”

Katara rounded the corner so fast that a wind like a bite-sized hurricane chased in her wake. The way she slid into her brother should have sent Sokka through the wall, but the Spirits Zuko had prayed to cushioned Sokka’s travel through the air by catapulting him among the sacks of flour and grain.

Bumi laughed like he was born to do nothing else but smile. Katara melted, weighed down by a relieved grin, as she vanished and reappeared at Aang’s side.

She kissed her husband and son, gave Bumi one extra just because, and turned to the others like she was a spirit that demanded a blood sacrifice if she were to remain benevolent.

Katara looked to Suki for an answer. Suki shrugged and pointed to Sokka.

...Toph grinned something even more evil than evil.

...Zuko sighed again but with passion and sulked into a corner to alert the mortal coil that everything was about to go to shit.

Sokka paused his struggle of getting free of the grain bags, shivered from the sudden cold rippling through the weave of the universe, and pulled himself out with a plea at the ready.

“Katara, listen, I don’t know what they said, but it’s not—”

The universe was merciful and Katara was all-knowing, but Sokka didn’t know what to think when his sister dragged him by his scruff to an awaiting Aang and a fitful Bumi. 

Then Bumi looked at Sokka expectantly.

And Aang put his baby boy into Sokka’s arms.

Sokka still didn’t know what to do even as Bumi smiled and squirmed, his hands reaching for something.

“I’m sorry, Boom-erang. Uncle Sokka didn’t mean to scare you. He promises not to—Ow!”

Bumi smiled around Sokka’s finger. Spirits, the kid had some jaw strength. 

The world got a little lighter as Sokka’s once impending doom retreated back into the form of his sister. Katara was shoulder-to-shoulder with him and making Bumi smile even wider when she brushed the fine hairs on his head.

“...You’re lucky you’re his favorite,” she whispered. 

Now it was Sokka’s turn to smile, and he couldn’t care less when Bumi gnawed a little harder.

“That’s my little Boom-erang~” he cooed. “I knew you would come back around.”

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I’m still trying to get a knack for writing Sokka. He’s the member of the Gaang I struggle the most with idk why. I would have thought he’d be the easiest for me, but nope

(And, yes, that was a shameless Ice Age reference in there lol)

(Also! I’m trying to do these prompts in order (IM NOT IGNORING ANY OF THEM I SWEAR I LOVE AND APPRECIATE THEM ALL DEARLY), so up next: kataang pilot AU!)

[k1rishiki]

i am curious, as someone who’s only exposure to arthurania was reading jane yolen’s young merlin as a child, would you mind saying why hnoc is a bad adaptation? i’m super curious but no worries if not <3

this has been sitting in my inbox for months bc i kept telling myself i needed to write a full essay with proof from medieval lit to make myself feel smarter.  however, since i’ve recently lost all credibility bc i can’t articulate points to save my life, and since i’ve realized that i could answer this in a just a couple paragraphs, now seems like the right time to answer this ask. sorry for the wait.

under a cut bc length

also warnings for mentions of racism bc this is hnoc we're talking abt and sexual assault bc this is med lit we're also talking abt

the basic problems are pendragon polycule itself, the story beats of the album, the fridging and lack of characterization of morgan le fay, the clear influence of pop culture arthuriana, and whatever the fuck happened with gawain/e.

pendragon polycule is... just not a good take.  there’s a bit in the lancelot-grail abt arthur viewing lancelot like a son (and lancelot not giving a shit abt him).  also arthur knew his parents for years before lancelot was even born.  plus lancelot just Doesn’t care abt him and i can’t stress this part enough.  arthur repeatedly tries to have guinnevere killed, mostly in the lancelot-grail, and guinn didn’t really have any say in marrying him bc she was a teenager.  lancelot and guinnevere is a lot better but that’s not saying much.  guinn doesn’t exactly treat lancelot too well... like at all, BUT it’s not intrinsic to their relationship and is completely caused by medieval misogyny and i’m all in favor of modern retellings saying fuck that.  but also lancelot has multiple pseudo-canon boyfriends (this is med lit after all), and one pseudo-canon husband so like... there were better options.  (also lancelot’s husband is basically in a lavender marriage with guinnevere’s maybe girlfriend who most authors just eventually forget abt as the story progresses).

this next one is a problem with a lot of modern arthurian works bc the inclusion of elayne of astolat is too much to ask apparently.  the grail quest isn’t tied to the fall of camelot, it just happens to be one of the last grand adventures the knights of the round table have.  the event that traditionally sets off the fall is the death of the maiden of astolat/the lady of shalott/elayne of escolat/she has a lot of names, her story has a few variations but usually she either is cursed to stay in a tower and weave and only be able to see the outside world through a mirror positioned across from her window, until lancelot rides by and she rushes to see him out of the actual window and her mirror shatters, setting off her death, or she lives with her father and brothers and takes care of lancelot bc he was injured for a time and she gets to go on adventures to find him and she’s friends with gawaine and she dies bc lancelot rejects her and this version’s a lot more fun but also more happens which makes it harder to explain.  the way her story ends however, is that she dies after she makes arrangements for a glorious boat to drift from astolat to camelot carrying nothing but her dead body and a letter explaining that she died of love for lancelot du lac and the court mourns the death of such a beautiful and young maiden (her age varies a lot but i’ve always read her as a young teenager at most).  but the important thing is, camelot is doomed from the moment she washes up on its shore bc she’s an omen of the end and has symbolic meaning and all that, the maiden of astolat washes up on camelot’s shores, the court mourns the loss of a maiden in her prime and she marks the end of camelot’s prime as well, morgan le fay reappears after being presumed dead and warns arthur of guinnevere and lancelot’s affair, aggravaine and modred conspire to bring lancelot and guinnevere’s affair to light, they succeed but lancelot escapes, guinnevere is to be burnt at the stake and lancelot rescues her, killing aggravaine, gaheris and gareth (gawaine’s brothers) in the process, gawaine drags his uncle and camelot to war bc he was driven mad due to the loss of his brothers, lancelot accidentally kills gawaine, his best friend and maybe boyfriend (i have RECEIPTS), and gawaine forgives him on his detahbed while lancelot and guinn rejoin arthur, meanwhile modred, who practically had the throne handed to him, usurps and invites the saxons in, camlann happens, and camelot is destroyed.  no where in there is the grail quest.

morgan le fay is honestly the most questionable part of the album bc there’s not a single text where she dies.  like....  at least with eurydice in udad she died in the original... there’s no basis for morgan dying.  also she is NOT modred’s mother and anyone who tells you otherwise is a liar, she interacts with him once in the vulgate bc she had three of her nephews over and that’s IT.  it’s a horrible take which originated in the mists of avalon by marion zimmer bradley who is an honest to god monster for reasons i don’t want to trigger tag this post for.  also she’s one of the most dynamic and thought-out characters in the entire canon and they just made her a watered down morgause (modred’s actual mother, morgan’s sister, canonical milf)... there was no reason for it to be her apart from the fact that she’s more well known......

pop culture arthuriana is,,, one of my least favorite things.  no, morgan wasn’t modred’s mother, no, morgause wasn’t abusive but her husband sure was implied to be, no, aggravaine didn’t kill his mother, that was gaheris, he loved his mother, you’re only saying that bc he has a reputation as the “evil” orkney, no, the once and future king is not a good descriptor for arthur, stop making me read it, no, morgause wasn’t the one to initiate the thing with arthur resulting in modred, no, lancelot and arthur weren’t friends, no, tristan wasn’t a self-centered asshole, tennyson is a fucking liar, no, galahad didn’t have sex or want to, he’s one of the first ever explicitly asexual characters out there, no, galahad’s conception was NOT consensual, lancelot was tricked, and no, elayne of astolat wasn’t galahad’s mother, she’s implied to be younger than him.  those are just the big glaring ones, but i swear it’s bc of arthuriana’s reputation as a mythology and the connotations belonging to that word (no one true canon (which is true but there are still things that just AREN’T canon, not completely written down, passed by oral tradition) that causes ppl to see mediocre modern texts and go “oh. well this is abt as close to the original as i’m going to get” and don’t bother to look into so much as malory (who i only name bc he’s one of the most well known medieval authors with the most commonly used storylines, don’t read malory kids, he’s a mediocre-at-best writer even by medieval standards).  the big perpetrators of modern arthurian tropes are the books the once and future king by th wh*te, who is a shitty person and lets it bleed into his writing (which isn’t like... nice to read or anything, seriously why do ppl love this book so much it doesn’t have redeeming qualities), and the mists of avalon by marion zimmer bradley (it’s poorly written, the story is a mess, and mzb is honestly a monster and one google search will tell you that), and unfortunately the writings of tennyson, which are mostly good but he clearly didn’t read the povest (a later text that’s also my favorite, known for significantly improving ppl’s opinions on tristan, isolde and co.) before deciding he hated both tristan and isolde and he has HORRIBLE takes on them.  high noon over camelot is SEEPED in pop culture arthuriana and i think it would have been so much better if the band had read so much as a SUMMARY of the events of le morte.  it’s evident in the song “the once and future king” bc it’s,,,, literally named after one of the worst books in existence.  it’s shown in the morgan le fay thing, and it’s shown in the pendragon polycule thing.  and hell, i think you can even explain away the lack of elayne of astolat with pop culture arthuriana, bc ppl have had bad takes on her ever since th wh*te combined her character with that of ela*ne of corbenic, and the band probably went “huh, let’s write lancelot’s abuser out of this” and they would’ve been right to do so if that’s who elayne of astolat was.

the final big issue is gawaine, the closest thing the genre has to a protagonist, he’s pretty much canon bi and, in some texts, arospec, he’s a dashing knight of great reknown and he derails every romance to steal hearts, commit murder, and make out with every knight and lady mentioned.  and in hnoc he’s... racist.  that’s it.  it’s,,, almost completely unfounded by the arthurian canon and shows a major misunderstanding of his motivations (like i said earlier, he wants to avenge his brothers bc there’s a reoccuring motif of how much the orkneys value family).  i say almost bc in one text it’s his motivations for killing palomydes but i’ve never heard it mentioned by name bc that’s just what it’s known for.  most arthuriana fans just look away from it except when critiquing hnoc but that one text is an outlier, shouldn’t be counted, and i highly doubt the mechs made hnoc gawain how he is bc they found this text.  it’s just a bad text.

hnoc has,,, quite a few more minor issues, such as villainized ladies of the lake (their ONLY crimes were sealing away merlin bc he tried to assault teenage nimue/ninniane (proto-nimue/vivianne from the vulgate), and that one time vivviane/ninniane kidnapped adopted baby lancelot), assigning brain to merlin (y’know,,, the predator who helped arrange the [redacted] of arthur’s mother and tried to assault a teenager,,,) although merlin is portrayed in a positive light throughout modern arthuriana so i don’t think they knew, giving a song to pellinore, who my perception of has been forever altered bc i was introduced to him through malory and the explanation of torre’s conception, which you can just look up “sir torre arthurian” to find out abt if you can’t just Guess, if they wanted a song abt the questing beast palomydes was Right There AND has been associated with the questing beast for longer, but once again i don’t think they knew.

also namedropping a bunch of knights in the fiction is... it Suggests a bigger world full of all these other stories but they just don’t work bc the world of hnoc wasn’t designed in a way where the appearance of half these characters would make sense.  like,, tristan is referenced as dying in the grail quest in the same sentence as bedevere (one of the characters who is known for almost always surviving), but tristan Isn’t one of the knights who dies on the grail quest, his possible deaths (ignoring the potentially happy ending of the povest for a second) are either being murdered by his uncle, king mark (bc mark married tristan’s gf to try and get tristan killed and also to spite him), bc he was driven into a fury bc of tristan and isolde’s affair, or he’s injured and only isolde (the best healer in the world) can save him so he sends for her and if the ship he sent for her is supposed to fly white sails if she’s there, or black sails if she’s not, and the ship flies white sails but his wife (also named isolde) says it’s black sails (the why depends but usually comes down to jealousy), and so he gives up bc he thinks all hope is lost and usually succumbs to his injuries, either way isolde dies of a broken heart over his body.  there’s no way for the tristan and isolde story to play out like it’s supposed to in the world of hnoc, just as there’s no way for any story with gawaine (and Oh Boy are there a lot of stories with gawaine) or pretty much anyone else, without severely altering the canon.

of course, there are still parts of hnoc i like a lot, most of the music i adore and i just like the idea of space cowboys and the secret good hnoc that lives in my head.  and it has one of my favorite characterizations of galahad, even though galahad hnoc is nothing like galahad arthuriana.  it’s not GOOD but i like it and it’s fun to turn my brain off too, and i’ll always value it as my introduction to arthuriana.

also there are modern arthurian tropes i do like such as characters being genre-savvy/knowing they’re fictional/knowing they’ve done this before (which hnoc does wonderfully!) and bedevere-as-the-storyteller (everyone say thank you lord tennyson).

WOW that was longer than expected, i feel very passionately abt this, when i was planning to write a fully sourced essay i meant to include a bit at the bottom with recommendations to get into better arthuriana and i think i’ll keep that in this post.

if you like hnoc for the arthurian music i’d like to suggest heather dale’s arthurian music to you, she does occasionally fall into the trap of modern arthuriana (some parts of lancelot and arthur being close, morgan as modred’s mother), sometimes she’s just wrong (galahad at lancelot’s trial, a lot of tristan and isolde), and her stuff is kinda straightwashed sometimes (sir gawain and the green knight, for example) but i’d be lying if it wasn’t catchy, and it’s not quite as bad as hnoc adaptation-wise.  culwch and olwen is pretty accurate (albeit abridged bc culwch and olwen has SO many tangents), as is lily maid (it’s abt elayne of astolat!).

if you liked hnoc for king arthur... in space! then may i recommend to you my own fanfic? it's not posted yet but the second i finish writing the first chapter i'm going to make a Big Deal out of it that'll be impossible to miss!

if you want to learn abt arthuriana through tumblr-osmosis like i did at first, i’d like to recommend the love of my life @acegalahads, first and foremost (it’s me on a sideblog i’m just obsessed with myself), and i can’t recommend my arthuriana mutuals over there, @/gringolet, @/merlinenthusiast, @/jcbookworm, @/elayneofshalott, and @/elaineofascolat (the elayne urls have been popular recently), also i know for a fact that my mutual-in-law, @/itonje makes great arthuriana posts that i look forwards to whenever i open the tag.

here are a few good reference posts, a quick guide to the characters, a guide to characters of color, and a much more comprehensive intro to arthuriana post with even more texts linked to it.

if you want to ease into med lit, i’d like to introduce you to pre-raphaelite poetry, alfred lord tennyson and william morris are my favorites, although tennyson can’t be trusted with tristan and isolde.  the poem the lady of shalott is basically a rite of passage for arthuriana fans, although when it comes to tennyson’s writings abt elayne of astolat, i prefer lancelot and elaine, which is part of his much larger story, idylls of the king.  for morris, don’t trust what he says abt aggravaine killing his mother, but my favorites of his are sir galahad, a christmas mystery, which sounds like a shitty disney sequel, and palomyde’s quest, which i blame for my love of palomydes (that and the one bit of the povest where he asks tristan to be his greatest enemy and that he wants nothing more, gay ppl,,,,).

if you want to read abt lancelot and his husband, there’s the lancelot-grail cycle, which i believe was taken off of archive dot org and i think i found it on @/tobeisexhausting’s blog but don’t quote me on that.

the povest, which was a religious experience for me and i can’t reccomend enough if you want to like tristan and isolde, is here, i don’t know who scanned it but i think i found it on @/lanzelet’s blog

the dutch texts are just good in general, here’s a link to their section of a(n unfinished) site for hosting various texts by my former mutual @/reynier (who’s no longer on tumblr).  i’d like to recommend lancelot and the white hart specifically bc it’s mainly just just gawaine being gay for lancelot.

if you want older works, here’s my scan of the history of the kings of britain, and here’s culwch and olwen and pa gur.

oh wow this is even longer than i thought it would be so i’m going to wrap this up by saying that i always love to talk abt arthuriana more than anything if you have any questions or just are curious!

[pilferingapples]

@everyonewasabird replied to your post “@everyonewasabird replied to your post “@everyonewasabird replied...”

...My talking around my actual question is getting silly. Because Enjolras is trans in my WIP, I'm trying to figure out what, if any, ramifications a female legal status might have had in terms of powers his parents did or didn't wield over him. (Also I have no idea what weird inheritance laws could have been at play, as with Mlle G's separate fortune.)

omg, thank you, this is so much simpler as a question XD (while not actually being simple  at all!) 

under the cut for discussions of transphobia/ misgendering/sexism

Yeah, unless his parents have him legally logged and noted as a son for some reason ( a Weird Scheme at birth that turned out to the best for all involved?!?) , Enjolras is, in the eyes of the law, their daughter.  Unless he Valjeans himself into a new legal identity, that’s going to be nigh impossible to change. 

Wildly, this actually means he is going to achieve his age of majority before  a child legally marked down as a son. At 21, he’s an adult. He can legally do whatever an adult can do, except get married without permission. If he were legally recognized as their son he’d have to wait until 25! Take That, weird gendery double standard!

If he’s sent to a school as a child (standard for wealthy families) , it will be a girl’s school; if it’s a boarding school, most of his upbringing at that point will be done by the teachers and administration there. If he’s an “at liberty” student--that is, at school during the day and at home after, like most USAns now-- his day-to-day will be more dependent on his parents; if he’s only taught by tutors, it will be more dependent still. He won’t likely be taught with an eye towards him reaching college, as daughters Couldn’t, but aside from that his parents may expect much or little learning of him; education of daughters varied wildly at this point!

The main problems for Enjolras from a legal POV are that his parents can choose to support him very little or not at all while they’re alive; and they can, of course , decide he’s mentally ill. The sooner they moved on that the easier it would be!  If they act while he’s still a minor, it would be pretty much like having a parent with a mentally ill kid now; they’re the ones who decide on “treatment”.  If it’s after he’s reached the age of majority, they need a court to agree with him that they should be his legal guardians and he should effectively be a legal minor again. 

Notice that both Bad Options above assume his parents disapprove enough to do that! Not all parents/guardians will (George Sand was actively encouraged in male dress and presentation by her grandmother as a young woman).  And of course Enjolras might choose for them to just Not Know, if he’s in Paris and they’re not; if they’re just not very close, a few letters a year and a convenient friend may suffice to grant him freedom from parental interference. 

The other issue you may be worried about is forced marriage, but the code is absolutely clear on this: marriage requires consent of the married parties. A lot of people could be bullied into an unwanted marriage by their families, but it’s Enjolras , so I would suggest that is Unlikely to say the least. 

In terms of inheritance, as long as he was born within his parent’s marriage and his father didn’t disown him via the fairly narrow options for that, he’s getting the share of inheritance that a Legitimate Offspring gets, period. It’s the same for sons and daughters!  There are measurements a parent can take to entail parts of an estate to other people , but it is complicated  , I would need quite a while looking at those parts of the law to parse it.  The simple version, via Mme. Bahorel’s excellent writeup on Inheritance Law:

The order of precedence for inheritance is as follows: - children (or, if they are deceased, their children) - parents and privileged collateral heirs (siblings or, if deceased, nephews and nieces) - grandparents - surviving spouse - other collateral heirs (uncles, aunts, cousins etc).

Most importantly, all children must receive an equal portion of the estate. Parents may receive up to one quarter of the estate, each, unless there are no other heirs, then they receive the whole estate. If there are no children and no spouse, the parents would receive half the estate and the rest would be divided among the siblings of the deceased. Grandparents inherit if the parents are deceased and there are no siblings. The surviving spouse takes a share only if there is no other family to assist her (a widower would have his own estate and thus would not be in need of a share of his wife’s property, thus the affected person was invariably a woman). Only if there are no closer relatives do other family members take a share, all in equal proportion.

... Adult, unmarried women have full rights under the law - they will inherit in the same manner as men. If a girl child loses her father before she is adult or married, she will still inherit but the property will pass to her husband when she does marry.

So basically: the Enjolras Parents can make their son’s life a misery via emotional abuse and interference, but they can’t really cut him out of an inheritance and if they wait until he’s of majority age to push for control of his life they’ll have to work for it. 

[watch-grok-brainrot]

Attempt the Impossible

Untamed Spring Fest Day 5 (I’m ~15 min late for my timezone, oops)

(Notes: ~2k words, post canon, canon (CQL) compliant, food focused, dreams, memories, Sizhui being darling, happy ending, not beta-read, this got much longer than i anticipated....)

Lan Sizhui bolted awake from a dream. Something must not be forgotten. But what was it? There was so much vivid detail… if only he could remember. 

His dreams have become more vivid since he returned to Cloud Recesses. Sizhui assumed his visit to Burial Mounds with Wen Ning was the root cause. The visit had unlocked so many memories from before Cloud Recesses. Lately, these memories would present themselves as dreams. The dreams weren’t nightmares but they did overwhelm Sizhui with scenes from the Wen remnant camp -- Lady Wen bantering with Senior Wei, Granny Wen taking care of everyone, 4th uncle making fruit wine, the desolate landscape being coaxed back to life by Senior Wei’s wild ideas.

Tonight’s dream brought Sizhui back to a day when Wen Ning and Senior Wei had gone into town to sell turnips. After returning, Senior Wei seemed distracted. Although he tried to hide it, Wen Ning, Wen Qing, Granny Wen, and even little A-Yuan could tell something was amiss. Suddenly, Senior Wei stood up and announced he would explore new culinary options for their establishment by growing lotus. Sizhui smiled at the memory of Senior Wei knee deep in mud, rambling about lotus roots and lotus pods.

Lotus roots and lotus pods! Of course! That night Wen Ning had brought a cold bowl of soup to feed him. It was Sizhui’s first taste of lotus root. Little bits of congealed fat floated on top of broth in a small green porcelain bowl. Wen Ning fed him a spoonful at first to see if he would like it. The richness of the fat was balanced by the sweetness of the broth and--

Sizhui’s eyes widened and he jumped out of bed. It was early October, towards the end of lotus root season and getting exceedingly close to Senior Wei’s birthday. He must speak with Hanguang-Jun. Senior Wei often attempted impossible seeming things; it was Sizhui’s turn this time.

----

“Hanguang-Jun, I would like to request permission to visit Yunmeng and Lotus Pier for the purpose of obtaining materials for a birthday present for Senior Wei,” Lan Sizhui proclaimed, kneeling before his father.

Lan Wangji put down the papers he was reading and stared at his son. “A birthday present?”

“Yes. I would also like to invite Sect Leaders Jiang and Jin to visit Cloud Recesses in late October for Senior Wei’s birthday.” Sizhui did not look up. 

“Sizhui, I expected more sense from you. Sect Leaders Jiang and Jin’s relationship with Wei Ying is complicated,” Lan Wangji picked up the papers and continued reading.

“Hanguang-Jun, I promise to exercise good judgement. Please indulge me in this,” Sizhui said undaunted. “I want to… to attempt the impossible.”

At the Yunmeng motto, Lan Wangji gazed intently at his son. No, Sizhui was also Wei Ying’s son, which meant he would want to attempt something crazy. But if he’s anything like Wei Ying, that crazy just might work. “Alright. Proceed. Take sufficient provisions and Jingyi with you.”

“Thank you Hanguang-Jun!” Sizhui looked up with a huge smile plastered on his face. “I will go find Jingyi immediately.”

---

The next few weeks passed quickly. Sizhui and Jingyi hermitted themselves outside the walls of Cloud Recesses. Other disciples reported that the two juniors made multiple trips between Yunmeng and Gusu, hauling baskets with them every trip. 

By the time Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling arrived at Cloud Recesses, Sizhui and Jingyi felt ready to show Wei Wuxian their efforts. 

“Sect Leader Jiang, Sect Leader Jin,” Sizhui said, bowing at the uncle and nephew duo. “Please follow me this way.” He led them to the student dormitories where Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng, and Jiang Yanli stayed during their time studying at Cloud Recesses. 

Stepping over the bamboo threshold, Jiang Cheng, took in the sight of the old stone tables and benches. Memories of Wei Wuxian carrying cooked fish on sticks and Jiang Yanli serving soup filled his head. Swallowing, Jiang Cheng reminded himself those memories were from half a lifetime ago. He would never get to have A-Jie’s soup or be so comfortable with Wei Wuxian again. 

Jin Ling looked around the dormitories with disdain. “Why did you bring us here? Are we not guests?”

Sizhui bowed politely, “Lan sect rule dictates that food within Cloud Recesses proper must be vegetarian. I have prepared a meal for you that requires our eating outside of Cloud Recesses grounds. Afterwards, Jingyi and I will personally escort Sect Leader Jiang and Jin to your rooms within Cloud Recesses, if you desire.”

As he spoke, he noticed Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji stepping across the threshold. “Hanguang-Jun, Senior Wei! Please, have a seat here. I cannot wait to get your feedback on my cooking!” Sizhui beamed at his fathers and ushered them to sit down next to Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling. He then hurried towards the kitchens. 

Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian exchanged polite nods. Jin Ling folded his arms across his chest and eyed Lan Wangji cautiously. Lan Wangji watched Jiang Cheng with a mildly disinterested expression. 

Wei Wuxian broke the tension, “I don’t know what our son is thinking, inviting you two over and cooking for us… but he’s such a good kid, let’s just indulge him.”

“He’s older than I am!” Jin Ling started to argue. 

“Yes. But isn’t it nice that your Sizhui-gege is cooking you dinner?” Wei Wuxian smiled dismissively and reached over to pat Jin Ling on the head. 

“You-” Jin Ling’s outcry was cut off by Jiang Cheng. 

“Wei Wuxian, he is now the Jin Clan Sect Leader. Show him respect.”

Wei Wuxian gave his estranged brother an awkward smile, nodded, and pulled back his hand. “Right. Right. I shouldn’t disrespect a sect leader like this.” He looked away at an old wutong tree in the courtyard. The branches were almost bare. 

Jiang Cheng huffed, “At least you have the decency to sound like a human.”

At this time, Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi started bringing out dishes. Two green and two white vegetarian dishes were placed on the table interspersed with bright red, oily, meat based dishes. In the middle, Sizhui set down a tray with an earthenware pot. 

“Senior Wei, Sect Leader Jiang,” Sizhui paused and took a deep breath. His next words rushed out, as if he would lose the courage to speak them if he slowed down. “I recently remembered a delicious bowl of cold soup I had as a child. I have attempted to recreate it for you two. I don’t know if you’ll like it but I made sure to try my recipe both while it was hot and after it had fully cooled down. I would like you to know I mean no disrespect, but thought maybe it would bring back happy memories.” With that, Sizhui lifted the lid of the pot, revealing  lotus root and pork rib soup. 

As the steam rose into the cold October air, Jingyi and Sizhui quickly served the soup to the four people sitting around the table. 

Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng’s hands trembled as they took their bowls of soup. When the steam hit his face, Wei Wuxian breathed in the steam. The rich meat aroma of the pork ribs were cut by a barely perceptible hint of ginger and sweetness of lotus. Sizhui had managed to recreate Shijie’s soup’s aroma. He quickly spooned some broth into his mouth. The fat and the sweet and the pork flavors melded together just like Shijie’s. He looked over at Jiang Cheng and noticed Jiang Cheng had become blurry.  

“Hey, Jiang Cheng, my son did a pretty good job, didn’t he?” Wei Wuxian asked, blinking back tears. 

“He’s never had it before. He’s never met her before. How? I’ve tried and I can’t even recreate it like this,” Jiang Cheng answered, too shocked to argue. He shook his head and blinked twice, forcing his own tears back.

“Sect Leader Jiang, I did have the soup once, when I was a child. Wen Ning brought it back to me in the Burial Mounds after he and Senior Wei went to town to sell turnips.”

Jiang Cheng looked up at Sizhui incredulously, “And you remembered it?”

Sizhui’s face softened into a wistful smile. “When it’s the most amazing food you’ve had for over a year, it stands out. I had forgotten after Hanguang-Jun brought me here but I remembered again recently. I wanted to try my hand at it since I enjoy cooking. Jingyi and I bought the lotus from Yunmeng and flew it back by sword for this soup. Is it satisfactory? Do you like it, Jin Ling?”

Jin Ling looked between Wei Wuxian, Lan Sizhui, and his uncle. “Did I miss the significance of this soup? It’s really good, but it’s just soup, right?”

“Jin Ling, Sizhui here has duplicated the best soup in the world! This is what your mom’s lotus root and pork rib soup tastes like exactly. You can’t make it unless you use fresh Yunmeng lotus root.” Jiang Cheng’s voice was soft as he explained to Jin Ling. He didn’t know whether to cry at the realization that Jin Ling didn’t know what A-jie’s soup tasted like or to laugh knowing someone else alive can make itl. 

“Why didn’t you just ask to cook at Lotus Pier?” Jiang Cheng asked, turning to Sizhui. “Lotus root isn’t light and it’s a long way to travel.” 

“We did not feel it appropriate to impose,” Sizhui answered, studying Jin Ling who stared at the soup and started savoring it slowly.

“Nonsense, we’re all family. Your parents pretty much got married at Lotus Pier, or did they fail to mention that?” Jiang Cheng replied with a wave of his hand. “That means you’re more or less part of the Jiang family too.”  

“No, we had no right to be there that night. I had been kicked out of the Jiang sect,” Wei Wuxian spoke up, tone bitter. 

“You know as well as I do that it was all originally for show. Had you not told me to give up on you, I would have tried to protect you those years ago. Had A-Jie and Jin Zixuan not been murdered, we probably would have found a way to protect all the Wen remnants too.”

“Yunmeng wasn’t strong enough yet. You know Jin Guangshan and Jin Guangyao wanted my Yinhufu and would have done anything to get it. And those reasons don’t change the fact that you kicked me out.”

Jin Ling looked between his uncles as they argued, piecing together their family history. He continued to savor the soup as if no other food would ever be able to satiate him. Tears formed in his eyes but this time warmth started replacing the loneliness in his chest.

“Fine, I un-kick you out then. I’m in charge. I can do that. I’ll eat my words just like you ate yours. Even if you married into the Gusu Lan sect, you can come back to Yunmeng Jiang whenever you want. I --”

Jiang Cheng’s words were cut off by Wei Wuxian flinging his arms around his brother. “Last time I was so stupid. Last time I pushed you away. I’ve learned from Lan Zhan how to express my feelings more directly and --”

“Lan Wangji?! He doesn’t emote at all! How can you learn from him?” Jiang Cheng hollered, elbowing Wei Wuxian out of the way. He pointed a finger at Lan Wangji. “Look at him. He’s had the same expression on his face since you two stepped into this courtyard!”

Wei Wuxian punched Jiang Cheng in the shoulder. “It’s not my fault you’re too emotionally stunted to read facial expressions.”

He then turned to Jin Ling and started serving the young sect leader more soup, “Drink up Jin Ling. Don’t pay attention to your uncle’s lack of emotional depth. You can learn what good relationships are like by hanging out with me and Lan Zhan.”

“Drink up, Jin Ling. Don’t listen to your Uncle Wei. He’s too idiotically in love to make sense.”

After serving themselves, Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi sat down at the table to eat. Sizhui nodded at his father and slightly bowed his head, ”What do you think, Hanguang-Jun, did I achieve it?”

Lan Wangji’s lips pulled back a millimeter while watching his husband reconnect with Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling, “Mn. Cloud Recesses will become even more lively.”

[ibijau]

Burn it down AU // on AO3 // extras on AO3

Lan Wangji worries. Nie Huaisang isolates himself. A call for help reaches Gusu, changing everything.

warning for, uh. General unpleasantness?

The year that followed their trip to Nightless City was both calmer and more stressful than Lan Wangji would have expected.

In the Cloud Recesses, things settled down again for A-Yuan and him. Lan Wangji started going on Night Hunts once more, either alone or with others. He was careful to keep those short, so A-Yuan would not be left alone too long.

His son did well in his studies and continued being well behaved, in spite of Lan Wangji’s refusal to use threats and violence against him, which still surprised some of the teachers. Lan Qiren insisted that Lan Wangji was simply lucky to have had a son who was naturally obedient, as if he did not still take effort to raise this child who had suffered so much. There were days where it was difficult, where he just wanted A-Yuan to be silent or to eat without a fuss and it was tempting then to simply demand obedience, though so far Lan Wangji had not yet snapped. Still, raising a child had been easier when there had been someone else to help him with it, another adult to take over when Lan Wangji felt close to his limit.

Twice he took A-Yuan to Qinghe. 

The first time was only a few weeks after their trip to Nightless City. Lan Wangji knew he should have waited, that this would attract attention, but he worried.

Just as expected Nie Huaisang complained against their presence, lamenting that he was too busy, that the time wasn’t right, that he already had so much on his plate… and yet he never hesitated to make time to play with A-Yuan in their little vegetable patch or braid his hair in Qinghe Nie fashion, and ditched all of his duties so he could enjoy as much time as possible with the little boy. Lan Wangji suspected that his husband, in return, sacrificed his sleep to ensure his work still did not suffer, but Nie Huaisang denied it, just as he denied working at all. He was still cultivating this appearance of uselessness, in case Jin Guangyao had allies within Qinghe Nie, and so he would not risk becoming a target of their Chief Cultivator by revealing how competent he could be.

It was upsetting to see Nie Huaisang so constantly fearful of enemies. It was even more upsetting to be unable to help. Nie Huaisang refused to let Lan Wangji try to find out if there were untrustworthy elements in his sect, for fear of alerting Jin Guangyao. He also refused any offer to have Cleansing played to him anymore, or to simply be in the same room when, every few days, Lan Wangji had to appease Nie Mingjue's arm. 

Lan Wangji understood why the other man now felt uncomfortable about spiritual song. He still regretted that Nie Huaisang ended up clinging to his anxiety and resentment. This regret was heightened by the suspicion that the corpse finding spell Nie Huaisang was preparing also worsened his emotional state. Of course Nie Huaisang denied it, just as he generally refused to admit there was anything wrong with him. 

Whatever agreement they'd once had to be honest with each other had not survived their trip to Nightless City. 

After a little over a month, as they spent time together in Lan Wangji and A-Yuan’s room, Nie Huaisang announced one evening that he was sending them back to the Cloud Recesses. He stated that he could not afford to be distracted anymore. 

"Do we bother Nie-ge so much?" A-Yuan sleepily asked, curled up on his step-father's lap. "I want to stay. I'll be good, I'll be quiet."

They'd had a busy, pleasant day, spent mostly tending their garden. Lan Wangji had thought that Nie Huaisang looked in a particularly good mood, even sharing stories about the birds he used to keep when that was still a sore topic for him. He had thought that finally, his husband might be on the path of recovery. Instead, he realised it must have all been a show, a way to soften the blow of separation for A-Yuan. 

"A-Yuan never bothers me," Nie Huaisang replied, carding his fingers through the boy's hair, but looking at Lan Wangji. "But Nie-ge has to do certain things for his sect, and he cannot do them if A-Yuan is around." 

Lan Wangji nodded. The spell needed certain ingredients to be gathered, Nie Huaisang had explained before, refusing to go into details. It would not be possible to do if they were in Qinghe, and taking A-Yuan along was not an option, not with the way Nie Huaisang barely contained his disgust every time he mentioned that spell. 

"But I want to stay," A-Yuan insisted. 

"We will visit again," Lan Wangji promised, though by the way Nie Huaisang looked at him it might as well have been a threat. 

"I'll write when you can come again," Nie Huaisang said. 

"Write soon or we  will come anyway," Lan Wangji replied, and perhaps it was a threat this time. 

-- In the weeks that followed, Nie Huaisang wrote a few times. He always insisted that the time wasn't right for another visit, which saddened A-Yuan. He was reading quite well, better than most children his age the teachers said, and Lan Wangji always let him be the first to open Nie Huaisang’s letters. Nie Huaisang knew this, and kept the correspondence simple, never breaching any subject that might upset his step-son. 

Even like this, Lan Wangji could guess that all wasn't well. Nie Huaisang’s penmanship faltered here and there, or he would mention that Jin Guangyao had come to help him deal with certain problems. After two or three months of this, Lan Wangji started planning another visit to Qinghe. Those plans ended up delayed. 

Instead, at Jin Guangyao’s insistence, Lan Wangji had to attend the second birthday of young Jin Rusong.

It was deeply unpleasant to be in the presence of that murderer, to see him enjoying the grandeur of his new position. At least unlike Nie Huaisang and Lan Xichen, he did not need to fake friendship with the man who had thrown their lives into chaos. His coldness was simply an accepted fact and besides, people paid him little attention. 

They were more interested in watching Jiang Cheng interact with the man who had usurped his nephew’s birthright, and in commenting over how unwell the older Madam Jin looked these days. On the second day of the celebration, the older Madam Jin had to excuse herself and let her responsibilities as a hostess go to her daughter-in-law who took over with great ease. 

Everyone agreed that Qin Su was a far more charming person to see in charge, and that she looked particularly radiant as she made sure all her guests had a pleasant time, going from one person to the next with her son in her arms. Jin Rusong also stole quite a few hearts, and there was something soothing in seeing him play with Jin Rulan, ignorant of the politics that would probably tear them apart once they started growing up.

Lan Wangji, while observing Qin Su, could only wonder if she knew what manner of a man she had married. He could not decide if it would be better or worse, should she have known the truth about her husband’s actions. Although not close to her by any means, he had never heard anyone speak badly about her. The most that had ever been reproached to her was how much she had insisted to marry the man she loved, in spite of her parents’ wishes, but even that was something Lan Wangji could only respect. 

He hoped she did not know. He hoped she would recover from the blow of learning the truth. She seemed kind, and did not deserve what was coming.

Still, in spite of his pity for her, Lan Wangji was startled when during the afternoon she came to find him, her son and nephew in tow. He had been doing his best to stay on the periphery of the party so he wouldn’t have to talk to anyone, and was at that moment alone near one of the platforms overlooking the gardens. Everyone else avoided him, but Qin Su sought him out.

“Hanguang-Jun, I hope the celebrations are to your satisfaction?” she asked him, smiling gently, the two little boys clinging to her dress in a way that made Lan Wangji miss A-Yuan.

“It is fine,” he replied, glancing behind her. His brother and his husband were busy chatting with Jin Guangyao, but his eyes still met Nie Huaisang’s who gave him a quick nod. 

“I’m glad," Qin Su said, undeterred by his unenthuastic answer. "I realise you have never been one for this sort of events and I was hesitant to have you here, but… I thought it would be better if you came, for Sect Leader Nie’s sake. In times such as this, after such a loss, companionship is important.”

“Hm.”

Having lost her mother recently, Qin Su would have understood. Still, Lan Wangji felt uncomfortable with even this passing mention of Nie Mingjue’s death.

“Huangang-Jun, you have a son, don’t you?” Qin Su suddenly asked, petting her own boy’s head. “Please, do bring him along next time. My husband and your brother are sworn brothers, we are all family. I would be happy to see you more often in Carp Tower, and for the children to know one another. I’m sure the boys would enjoy that as well.”

As if on cue, and indeed they must have been briefed to act this way, Jin Rulan and Jin Rusong nodded along, the first looking at Lan Wangji with an air of defiant expectation, the second prefering to cling to his mother. They were both good boys as far as Lan Wangji knew, there was no ill reputation attached to them except for the fact that Jin Rulan took a little more after his Jiang uncle than was preferable. 

They would have made acceptable companions for A-Yuan to play with, and yet the thought of his son in Carp Tower seized Lan Wangji with dread. It would always have been an unpleasant thought even before, but now that he knew what Jin Guangyao was capable of, how little respect he had for those close to him…

“We don’t really take Lan Yuan to big gatherings for the time being,” Nie Huaisang announced behind Qin Su, startling all of them. “It has been a rough year for him, for now we’re still just finding balance. Later perhaps, when the situation has calmed, we can start thinking about such things.”

Qin Su turned around to smile at him, the two boys still clinging to her robes. Nie Huaisang returned that smile without great joy, and clumsily lifted his half empty cup of wine, as if to greet her. 

"Then perhaps someday we will come as a family to the Unclean Realm so they can all meet," Qin Su suggested. "Please, do warn me when your son and husband next visit you so we can organise something." 

"I cannot object to that," Nie Huaisang replied with a warm chuckle. "Children need friends, and they need family, don't they?" 

"They certainly do," Qin Su agreed, sounding sincerely happy. 

Having obtained the promise that she desired, she returned to her guests, the two little boys still trailing behind her. Nie Huaisang watched her go with a smile that dropped as soon as he turned toward Lan Wangji whom he joined, leaning on the railings to look over the gardens. 

"Like I'm letting those little brats anywhere near A-Yuan," he hissed. "I know the worth of a Jin's friendship, thanks." 

Lan Wangji frowned. "They are only children." 

"They are Jin before they are children," Nie Huaisang muttered, emptying what was left of his cup of wine. "Someone should take down Jin Rusong and Jin Rulan, just to make sure Jin Guangshan's bloodline stops spreading." 

"They are children," Lan Wangji insisted. "Do not drink so much in public." 

Nie Huaisang rolled his eyes, and grimaced at the empty cup.

“I don’t trust myself to be sober, it’d be too tempting to grab someone’s sword and stab a certain person in the heart. And if I do that for one of them, I’ll probably not stop until I’m rid of all the Jins, or until someone kills me as well.”

“Do not joke about this.”

“Oh I’d never joke about slaughtering Lanling Jin,” Nie Huaisang assured him, looking up from the cup to stare into the distance. "But I'd better go back. I promised Jiang Wanying we'd have a chat, and Sect Leader Yao too wanted to talk about something… I'm going to need a lot more wine to bear with all that." 

"Stop drinking," Lan Wangji ordered.

Nie Huaisang turned to look at him, shocked by his husband's tone. The surprise quickly disappeared and he laughed, bitter and broken, before forcing back on the innocent smile he gave strangers. 

"I like you well enough, Wangji, but I like not being sober far more. Don't worry, I won't do anything stupid. And if I do… it's all part of the plan, right? All part of the plan." 

He left without giving Lan Wangji another chance to protest. 

In the end, Nie Huaisang did make a fool of himself when he ended up breaking into tears and slobbering against Jin Guangyao's shoulder after something Sect Leader Yao said, but Lan Wangji would have been hard pressed to say if that was the wine's fault or not. 

--

A few weeks later, A-Yuan and Lan Wangji were back in the Unclean Realm.

Lan Wangji timed this second visit to Qinghe to coincide with the anniversary of Wei Wuxian’s death. Nie Huaisang was not the only one who needed company to deal with grief. They talked a lot that night, both of them. Lan Wangji listened to stories of the mischief Wei Wuxian and his friends had gotten up to behind his back. Some he had known already, but many were new to him, teenagers' adventures in which he could have taken part, if only he had not been so keen on following rules.

Then, when the night turned truly dark and his thoughts became muddled by the late hour, he explained how he had fallen in love with this impossible man. If he had not been so tired, if his heart had not been bleeding from the horror of what had happened some years earlier, if it had been anyone but the friend who had never once judged him for his one-sided passion, Lan Wangji might have been ashamed to admit even half the things he said that night. But Nie Huaisang listened patiently as he described a love he still could not regret, that he would never regret.

It was a relief, in a way, to finally be able to say those things to someone. Even to his brother he had never confided so much. Before Wei Wuxian’s death, he had worried that Lan Xichen might formally forbid him from seeking out the other man if he understood how deeply his love ran. After his death… the trust had been broken, it would have been impossible to speak freely with Lan Xichen who anyway blamed Wei Wuxian for everything wrong that had happened.

Things had become a little strained with Nie Huaisang since Nightless City, but he was still Lan Wangji's friend. They still both missed Wei Wuxian, and they still both loved A-Yuan.

Concerning A-Yuan, since he was in the Unclean Realm with them, Nie Huaisang was forced to write to Qin Su to ask if she still wanted his son to meet hers and her nephew. He did so with great reluctance, and only because he did not want to risk angering Jin Guangyao by disregarding his wife.

It should have made Nie Huaisang happy when Qin Su eventually declined, but the reason for it caused both of them some concern. The older Madam Jin had become unwell, meaning her daughter-in-law could not leave her side at the moment. Qin Su would not reveal the nature of the ailment, although Nie Huaisang soon shared he had heard rumours of a Qi deviation. This incited him to work even harder on the corpse finding spell, and for this reason he asked Lan Wangji to return to Gusu so he could be free to move around more easily. Although that meant their stay in Qinghe had been a short one, less than a month, Lan Wangji agreed. It was worrying for anyone near Jin Guangyao to be having a Qi deviation, and they needed to bring him to justice before more lives were lost.

In the end, Madam Jin recovered, but never fully. She stopped appearing in public except at a few banquets and although Lan Wangji was not there to see it, he trusted his brother who said that she was greatly diminished. Lan Xichen too agreed that the timing of her illness was odd, though he tried to be fair to Jin Guangyao and pointed out that after such a difficult year, it would not have been impossible for her to have simply become unwell without interference. Still, even he couldn't deny it certainly was convenient that Jin Guangyao’s main opposition within his sect was no longer capable of standing up to him.

--

It was a few months before Lan Wangji saw his husband again. They had gone back to exchanging letters, with Nie Huaisang mostly writing to A-Yuan and Lan Wangji trying to distract his friend with whatever agreeable news he could think of. He told stories of successful Night Hunts, of A-Yuan's progress, of some things the juniors said when he read them the rules and asked them to question them, of the rabbits even. Everything unpleasant, his still unfruitful attempts to call for Wei Wuxian's soul, the elder's pressure to have A-Yuan declared Lan Xichen's heir, the occasional Night Hunts where he arrived too late to help, he kept to himself. 

He was once more starting to insist that A-Yuan and him were overdue a visit to Qinghe when one morning, after his time with the juniors, Lan Wangji found Nie Huaisang waiting for him outside the classroom. 

"I was passing near Gusu for some business of mine," Nie Huaisang explained with a bright smile. "I thought it'd be stupid not to make a little detour and say hi. I have missed you and A-Yuan, after all."

"We missed you as well," Lan Wangji replied, too stunned by the unexpected visit to say anything else. 

As they walked to the Jingshi together, there was an unusual lightness to Nie Huaisang that made him seem more like the man he had been before his brother's death. He laughed it off when Lan Wangji tried to mention his mood appeared improved, an almost feverish glee to his eyes. It was good to see him like this again, to find him truly joyful as he played with A-Yuan when their son finished his classes, as he chatted with his husband. And yet Lan Wangji felt an odd sort of worry. Lately whenever Nie Huaisang’s mood had appeared so good, it had been to hide something dark.

All day, Lan Wangji carefully watched him, waiting for the inevitable moment where that darkness would seep out, as it always did. But Nie Huaisang remained smiling, even when A-Yuan asked how long he would stay, and what he had been doing since their last visit. The answer to that was at least partly a lie since Lan Wangji knew that his husband must have done a great deal more than ‘paint and tend the vegetable patch’, but there was no hesitation, no sign of pain at the reminder that he had been apart from A-Yuan for a long while.

Even after A-Yuan had gone to sleep, Nie Huaisang’s mood remained good. Lan Wangji still decided not to push too far, and although he should have pacified Nie Mingjue’s arm, he decided that it would wait another day. It had become too rare to see Nie Huaisang this relaxed, he could not ruin it.

Instead, they ended up sitting together and chatting about a number of things. Or rather, Nie Huaisang chattered about this or that, from annoyances about his sect to the seeds he hoped to plant next time Lan Wangji would bring A-Yuan to Qinghe. It really felt like those happier days before Nie Mingjue’s death, until Nie Huaisang suddenly shifted the conversation to a new and uncomfortable topic.

“You know, we’ve never discussed the consideration of faithfulness between us,” he remarked with affected casualness, playing with his fan. “I know you Lans have rules on that subject but…” he waved his fan. “I won’t mind if you ever decide to take a lover.”

“There is only Wei Wuxian.”

His husband reacted to that with an odd, crooked smile that was a touch too smug for comfort.

“Hm. Well if he ever returned, you’d have my permission to seduce him,” Nie Huaisang teased. “Take him as your lover, live with him in the Jingshi and be as happy as you like. As long as I still get to see A-Yuan here and there, I don’t mind.”

Lan Wangji frowned at the cruel joke.

“Wei Wuxian will not return.”

“Didn’t we think that during the Sunshot campaign as well?” Nie Huaisang noted with a toothy grin. “And at worse… I would not judge you for moving on. There’s no shame in that. If you find someone who makes you happy, I’ll be glad for you. Do not condemn yourself to solitude, Wangji.”

“Hm. You as well…”

Nie Huaisang laughed, bitterness seeping through his newfound cheerfulness, and he quickly hid behind his fan.

“Oh, me… Don’t worry about me. For me it’s not a matter of moving on, it’s a matter of not being wanted. My mistake was to be born in this generation," he sighed with dramatic exaggeration. "I think if my only competition had been our fathers' generation, I would have had dozens and dozens of suitors quite easily. Instead I’m competing against the likes of you or Jiang Cheng or worst of all, the memory of my brother. Who’d pick me?”

“My brother did.”

Without surprise, Nie Huaisang flinched and raised his fan to hide more fully. “I thought we had agreed to forget what I told you that night.”

“I never agreed to that.”

“Fine, fine, I admit it was unkind of me to talk about Wei Wuxian,” Nie Huaisang huffed. “I just thought we needed to clear the air on that matter, since we live apart."

Lan Wangji considered that a moment, an uneasy feeling curling up in his guts. 

"Is this why you are better?" he asked. "Have you found a lover?" 

The idea was unpleasant. Not because he felt entitled to Nie Huaisang’s affections. It was also not that he would resent the other man if he managed to move on from his complicated feelings for Lan Xichen. But the two of them had become friends, close ones, and Lan Wangji did not like the idea that Nie Huaisang would keep secrets from him, least of all on such a subject. 

He couldn't help feeling relieved when Nie Huaisang dropped his fan and burst out laughing at the suggestion. 

"No, that's not it,” he said with that cruel smile he had too often since his brother’s death. “Something like that would affect you as well, so I wouldn't do it without consulting you first. Wangji, can't I just be in a good mood? I will soon find my brother's body and confront his murderer. That's better than sex, trust me."

"The spell will be ready soon?" Lan Wangji asked, glad for the change of topic. 

The fan came back up as Nie Huaisang chuckled. 

"Everything will soon be ready, yes. A few things don't depend on me anymore, but… Ah, not much longer now! I can't wait to see Jin Guangyao fall!" 

And there it was at last, that darkness that Lan Wangji knew had to be hidden under the cheerfulness. He did not comment on it, since that would just antagonise Nie Huaisang and make him pull away again. Still, Lan Wangji too felt a certain impatience for this business to be over. It irked him that a criminal was ruling over the cultivation world, free to hurt more people without consequences. 

And when everything was over, they could try to find balance again, all three of them. All four, if he could convince Lan Xichen and Nie Huaisang to simply talk to each other. It would be against both the rules of Gusu Lan and the laws of the world for these two to give in to what they felt but… rules and laws, when unfair, deserved to be bent and broken.

--

As the three of them made their way to breakfast the next morning, a disciple intercepted them and handed a letter to Lan Wangji. 

"It just arrived," the man explained. "The person who carried it said they rode all night to make sure it arrived quick enough. Apparently, he was told to request your personal attention on this matter, Hanguang-Jun."

Lan Wangji opened the missive, intrigued but not surprised. His reputation was starting to recover somewhat, helped by his willingness to help anyone who might need it, no matter how small the situation. It felt like something Wei Wuxian would have done, after all. 

The plea for help, this time, came from a nearby village that had suddenly found itself under attack of a great number of fierce corpses, all of which were more aggressive than normal and could not be dealt with by ordinary people. Strangely enough, the letter bore no seal, though it claimed to be from the local lord. 

Odd, but it was possible that under attack, that lord had not had time to look for a seal. Or else this was a trap set for Lan Wangji. Not everyone had forgotten and forgiven that he had helped Wei Wuxian escape Nightless City, years earlier. Either way, it was not something that he could leave alone. 

"I will go," Lan Wangji told the disciple, returning the letter to him. "I will leave immediately. See who can be spared to join me later. Three experienced disciples should be enough. Let them have breakfast, then send them."

"Trouble, Wangji?" Nie Huaisang asked. 

"Hm. Some unrest. It is in Mo village, not far from here. I will be back in a few days," Lan Wangji added, looking at A-Yuan. "Nie-ge will take care of you." 

Nie Huaisang startled at the news, and looked ready to protest, but Lan Wangji simply turned around and left before his husband could say anything. It was likely that Nie Huaisang had intended to leave for Qinghe that very day and this was messing with his plans. But it would do him good to rest a little in the Cloud Recesses and to spend time with A-Yuan. 

Lan Wangji was a skilled enough flyer that it took him little more than a few hours to reach Mo village. Even before landing, he was struck by the amount of raw resentful energy that surrounded the place, strong enough to almost rival that of Nightless City. 

The source of that was easy enough to find once Lan Wangji came close enough to Mo Mansion, the local lord's home. Someone had planted a great number of Black Wind Flags all around the place. Powerful ones at that, imbued with enough spiritual energy to attract evil from great distances. Still, they were easily destroyed. 

Since this was looking more and more like a trap of some sort, Lan Wangji landed outside the manor and carefully made his way to the door, Bichen unsheathed and ready for action. It surprised him that in spite of the heavy resentful energies in the air and the presence of the flags, there was not a single creature to be seen in the streets of the village.

That, he soon discovered, was because the several dozens of fierce corpses causing the disturbance were amassed in the manor's courtyard, surrounding a handful of people. Servants, by the look of them, save for a crying little boy in opulent clothes. They all looked terrified and, in fact, the child was far from the only one crying with fear. And yet, the fierce corpses were not attacking them. 

The shrill, clumsy notes of a low quality flute explained the corpses' docility. The melody was badly played, but there was something familiar to it. Lan Wangji, forgetting his earlier worries about a trap, felt compelled to come closer so he could see the player. He pushed through the undeads until he spotted him. 

The musician was young, maybe fourteen or fifteen. Or perhaps a little more, since he seemed a little undernourished and pale, as if he rarely went out. His instrument was little more than a toy, too small for his hands, and he frequently struggled to cover the holes. It said a lot about his cultivation skill that he could play his song so badly and still control those corpses. 

It was the song more than the musician that captured Lan Wangji's attention. It was one that he had heard before, and yet he would have been hard pressed to name it. It brought back memories of battles, of fire and death. 

Then the melody shifted into something new, and Lan Wangji spotted breathing. 

This was Wangxian. 

Mangled and badly played on an instrument unsuited for it, but it was still Wangxian, Lan Wangji would have recognised it anywhere. It was his song, the translation into notes of his young love for Wei Wuxian, all of the despair and all of the joy it had caused him, back when he'd thought that seeing Wei Wuxian smile at pretty girls would be the worst blow his heart would ever suffer.

His song. 

Their song. 

Aside from Wei Wuxian, no one else ever heard that song, and yet that frail boy was playing it with ease, except where his instrument failed him. 

Their song. 

It had never occurred to Lan Wangji to try to use it with spiritual energy. 

Their song. 

And the boy must have been playing for a long time already. He was starting to miss more and more notes, his hands shaking from the effort of holding his flute. Lan Wangji had lost enough time. He took out his guqin and started playing a different melody, one devised to appease and immobilise the fierce corpses. 

The boy who knew Wangxian nearly dropped his flute when he heard the first notes of the guqin, staring at Lan Wangji in disbelief. Lan Wangji stared right back, refusing to take his eyes off of him even one second. Trying to spot a resemblance. Finding none. 

Because there were so many, it took a little while to take care of those fierces corpses. When at last they were sure not to cause any more trouble, Lan Wangji walked directly toward the boy who knew Wangxian, his head full of questions and an unspeakable hope taking root in his heart. The teenager took a step back, looking as if he might try to run, but before he could he was hit in the face by a rock. 

"It's his fault!" the richly dressed little boy yelled, throwing another stone at the teenager's face."It's all his fault!" 

"Didn't that immortal say he'd bring us disaster?" a servant loudly whispered. "He was right, the mistress should have punished him even more!" 

"An immortal?" Lan Wangji remarked, his eyes still on the teenager. 

The servants nodded, all of them in shock over what they had witnessed. 

"Yes, he came last year, and again some days ago," an old man explained. "This boy here is Mo Xuanyu, our late mistress's nephew who was briefly sent away to learn cultivation, but became involved in a scandal and had to be sent home."

Lan Wangji nodded. He remembered the name, his brother had mentioned when speaking of the purges in Lanling Jin. 

"Mo Xuanyu was already a worry for our mistress," the old man continued. "Then last year, an immortal happened to pass in the village and heard about Mo Xuanyu. A young man with a delicate face, who wanted to make sure we would be safe. He had a long talk with that little monster, then warned Lady Mo to be very tough on him because he was doing dangerous things. Lady Mo could not get rid of him without angering his father's sect, but she made sure to keep him in line. And still, he managed to cause this!"

The old man pointed at some bodies on the ground, victims of the attack. Among them where a richly dressed couple, wearing the same colours as the little boy who was apparently an orphan now. It was a tragedy, and Lan Wangji should have cared, should have said something, offered condolences at least.

Instead he couldn't help thinking about Nie Huaisang’s sudden visit, that odd conversation they'd had. It made him feel nauseous. Next to him, the boy who knew Wangxian looked at the survivors with cold interest, as if feeling no particular attachment nor resentment toward them.

“I will handle this,” Lan Wangji announced, grabbing the boy’s wrist. “People from Gusu Lan will soon arrive to finish dealing with this.”

“You’re taking him to kill him?” someone asked.

The teenager shivered and tensed, looking up at Lan Wangji with wary eyes. The face was different, but it was an expression he had seen before. It made his heart clench that after all this time, he would still only be worthy of suspicion.

“I am taking him,” Lan Wangji only replied. “He is no longer this house’s concern.”

At those words the boy tried to escape from him, in vain. Lan Wangji was stronger, and there was not a force in the world that could have made him let go. After making sure the fierce corpses had truly been neutralised and having given a few more instructions to the higher ranking servants, Lan Wangji left the manor. He pulled behind him that boy who, in this lifetime too, did not want to come with him to Gusu.

“It wasn’t me!” the boy exclaimed when he realised that he could not escape through physical strength. “I know how it looks, but I tried to save as many people as I could! I was just trying to help!”

“You were,” Lan Wangji agreed.

The boy stopped fighting and stared at him in shock.

“You believe me?” he gasped, half laughing.

“Hm. Wei Ying always tries to help.”

The boy froze and gaped at him, half awed and half frightened, as if he had not expected to be recognised. As if anyone but the two of them could have known that song. As if Lan Wangji had not been led to this particular place, at this particular moment, specifically so the two of them could meet.

Nie Huaisang had a lot to explain, and Lan Wangji did not expect to enjoy that conversation.

[path-of-fire]

Okay, so, I found your game on the CoG forums and played the demo (loved it by the way!) So I came here to immediately follow you and try learning as much as I can about this thing from the post's.... But there are about a billion and I have a terrible attention span! So in the interest of staying in the loop, I was wondering if you could do a quick crash course on it? Important character's, RO's, and this dragon thing I'm hearing about? I just love this story! Thanks in advance if you do this!

Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m honored that you like Path of Fire, it truly warms my heart to hear that. And I would be honored to help you with getting caught back up :)

Important Characters [I will leave out the ROs, because they will be explained in their area]: 

Eamon- Eamon is the first person that you meet in the demo, and he is also the only other survivor of the massacre. Eamon is considered your guardian throughout the series, and to some MCs he can become your father. Of course, that all depends on how you interact with him. [I don’t know if I’ve ever told you guys what Eamon looks like, but I’ve changed it.] Eamon stands at 6’3” with a muscular build. He has blue-green eyes and dirty blonde hair and beard. All in all he’s very much a papa bear.

Alister- Alister is Aghadi’s nephew and he can become a fairly important part of your story. Though, like with Eamon, it all depends on how you interact with him. Alister is very bubbly with a sunshine disposition on life. You would more than likely see him with a smile on his face than a frown, and his life mission is to make others happy. Alister has beautiful dark blue eyes and dirty blonde hair. He has his uncle’s complexion when in regards to his tan skin. 

Keane- Keane is Aghadi’s younger brother, and Alister’s father. Keane is a very angry person who hates Aghadi with his entire being. He doesn’t have a good relationship with his son, but Keane does love him. Be it in a very peculiar way, but he does love Alister. Part of the reason for Keane’s hatred for Aghadi is because of the loss of his second wife and unborn child. [He still visits their graves with Alister, and always gives them flowers to show that his love for them will always stay fresh. While Alister plays beside the grave, like he could never do with his unborn sibling.] Keane stands at 6’4” and has medium length mahogany colored hair. He also has dark green eyes that are always guarded. 

Daealla- Daealla is Aghadi’s older sister and the person he is closest to in his family. Daealla was sent away at a young age by her father, Merrick, because of reasons that neither her nor Aghadi want to get into. She is a very funny person, but more often than not her humor comes from remarks. [Like if the MC trips or something in front of her she would say something like “I think you missed a step” or “Your life is really going downhill, isn’t it?”] Daealla stands at 5’9'' and has a lithe build. She has glowing violet eyes with gold flecks. Her hair falls down in perfect waves to her shoulder blades the color of golden white. She has full lips and high cheekbones, with a fair complexion.

[All the other important characters you guys haven’t been introduced to yet. So I don’t want to spoil anything.]

Romantic Options:

Loreena- Loreena is the Knight Captain of the Imperial Army. She is a very loyal person and takes her duties very seriously. Loreena is tall at 6’0”, with shoulder length black hair and impassive hazel eyes. She has a tan complexion from all of her time in the sun.

Robin/Robyn- R is my take on Robin Hood with a little twist. R is a very mischievous person but they are also extremely loyal. They hold loyalty among their men at the highest degree. Especially since their men know their secret. Robin is tall at 6’4” with broad shoulders and a chiseled jaw. His golden brown hair is of medium length and is kept in a ponytail. His golden brown eyes sparkle with mirth but a darker entity hides behind his easy smile. While Robyn stands at 5’10” with a more lithe build. Her golden brown hair falls down to her shoulder blades and is kept in a loose braid. Her golden brown eyes are quick to show emotion, but whether or not they’re truly what she feels? That’s for you to find out.

Edmund- Edmund is R’s second in command and the one that keeps everything in order. He is a very guarded individual, only letting the ones he cares for get passed his iron walls. Unlike R, Edmund is not one to trust someone right off the bat. He believes that you earn trust/respect. Edmund stands at 6’2” and has broad shoulders with a bulky build. His brown hair is kept short and his dark green eyes are well guarded. 

Esmé- Esmé is the leader of the Merchant’s Guild. She is a very crafty and charming person, but that doesn’t make her any less forthcoming. She is a very blunt person, but she tries her best to reign that in depending on who she is talking to. Esmé is 5’7” with long, wavy brown hair and steel colored eyes. Her full lips are normally pulled into a smile that usually has everyone else smiling. And because of her heritage Esmé does have wings, which are the color of a barn owls. 

Ayleth- Ayleth is a village mage. She is a very snarky and sarcastic person, who uses her words to deflect people’s attention. However, once you get past her steely exterior you’ll find a golden heart that wants nothing more than to be cherished and loved. Ayleth is 5’5” with long red hair and sparkling brown eyes. She has a fair complexion that seems to glow underneath the sunlight.

Cedric- Cedric is the youngest of all the ROs. However, he is the one that knows the MC the longest. He is the son of the village chief and a hopeful knight. Cedric is a very bashful person but under certain circumstances his bashfulness can be replaced by bravado. Cedric is 6’3” with blonde hair and sparkling green eyes. He is muscular but not as bulky as Edmund is. He has tan skin from all his time training in his yard. 

Caspian- He is the Imperial Spymaster. He was tasked to locate and identify the MC to bring them back to the capital for “execution” [that’s what the MC believes]. Caspian is a very vain and arrogant individual, he is also very secretive. However, as with most secrets, you can’t take them at face value. Caspian is 6’4” with medium length silver hair with pale blue eyes. He has a fairer complexion due to his Snow Elf ancestry. 

Aghadi- Aghadi is the Emperor of Ioria, and he is one of the last ROs you meet. He is a very kind man if not a little guarded. He cares about his people greatly and wants nothing more than the best for them. Aghadi is 6’6” with medium length golden white hair. He has obsidian black eyes with golden flecks throughout. He is a very muscular man from all his time training and exercising, which also has caused him to have tan skin. 

Phenir- Phenir is the God of the Dracaryean, and one of the creators of the universe. He is a very gentle person who always has a smile on his face. He is a tall being [still haven’t figured out his height yet], with sun kissed skin. He has golden-red eyes that shift depending on his mood. With fire colored hair, a mixture of red, yellow and orange. 

Revian- Revian is the Goddess of the Night, and is the other creator of the universe. She is a very stoic person that always keeps her emotions in check. Revian has long, wavy jet black hair and beautiful silver eyes. Revian has a fairer complexion than her brother, Phenir. 

-Note that Revian and Phenir are the Gods of many more things… These are just the main ones. 

Below are some finished art pieces of the ROs (only Caspian and Ayleth so far).

Dragon Thing: 

I actually don’t know what dragon thing you’re talking about. Though I’m going to guess and say you mean the hoarding thing. Which devolves into the fact that the Dracaryean have classic draconic tendencies. Like hoarding for instance… like the large piles of gold [and the like]. This will be explored more in the game, but I think that’s what you mean. 

[sweetsummerchildofmine]

Catra vs Zuko - or, how Catra got the redemption arc we never dared to dream for Azula

Ok so since She-Ra’s finished and ATLA’s back on Netflix and everyone’s having a super fun time comparing the two, here’s a long rant about redemption arcs that absolutely no one asked for.

[spoiler warning for both obviously??]

So Prince Zuko is still, correctly, held up as the redemption arc ideal.

Look at this boy of course he is.

As an excellent recent post I can’t currently find why don’t I ever tag things reminds us, the great thing about Zuko is that we always want to see him redeemed. Even though he starts out with bad hair and a bad attitude and on the wrong side, he’s a main character and a sympathetic one.

Iroh is introduced as a wise and lovable uncle to us all, so if he believes in his nephew, then so do we.

But it’s not all about how Iroh sees him. As this brilliant video from Melina Pendulum that I’m essentially just riffing on here rightly points out, Zuko always has a strict code of honour. He generally believes he’s doing the right thing, that the Fire Nation is doing the right thing, and that he can and must make a difference in the world… and is kind of a huge dufus. Now that’s getting a lot less Catra and a lot more…

In a lot of ways, Zuko is wayyy more of an Adora than he is a Catra. As another post that I can’t fucking find points out, it would have been incredible and hilarious if Zuko had somehow turned out to be the Avatar he was searching for all along. Mostly, I’m thinking that if a magical destiny and a new support group hit Zuko square in the face in the early ATLA episodes, we might have got something like the instant turnabout arc that Adora got. But Zuko didn’t get a magic sword – he had to figure out the evil of the Fire Nation slowly, coming to the final understanding that he couldn’t continue fighting for it, not even when it meant giving up all the love and prestige he’d ever sought in his life.

But much as Adora left the hoard and had to unlearn a lotttttt, she hadn’t exactly done anything bad out in the field yet. It’s Catra that’s our redemption arc poster-girl here. Because she actually causes a lot of innocent deaths and nearly destroyed the world but hey nobody’s perfect.

Like Zuko, Catra is introduced as one of our main characters, and she’s even more of an instantly loveable one than he is. She’s not an honourable follower of rules – that’s hammered home in her first scene - 

- but she’s relatable. She’s in love with her best friend, she struggles to take things seriously, mostly as a defense mechanism, and she’s bitter about the fact that she’ll never be anything but second best. When it comes to Adora, despite her jealousy and teasing, she’d do almost anything to protect her. This is something we see throughout season 1, right up until The Promise – the friends might be at odds, but she doesn’t want to see Adora hurt. Especially not if that hurt is coming from their childhood abuser.

So many people have written about the great ways both shows handle the trauma of child abuse and how it won’t necessarily look the same across a family, so I’m not gonna go hard on that. But as a recap – Zuko literally walks around with half his face badly burned off because he embarrassed/disappointed his warlord father. Thanks to a lifetime of negative reinforcement Catra believes herself to be worthless, and she’s noticeably twitchy whenever someone touches her unexpectedly. Growing up with Adora, Catra was the scapegoat kid, taking on most of the blame for all their perceived failures (and giving Adora her intense responsibility complex and belief that everything is somehow her fault yay).

It’s a less clear-cut dynamic for Zuko and Azula – partly helped by the fact that we never get much of Azula’s POV. 

..she’s kinda Catra without the benefit of narrative sympathy. 

Where SPOP never stops reminding us that Catra is a vulnerable, lonely, insecure teenager beneath it all, ATLA barely ever lets us glimpse it in Azula. And maybe it’s not really there yet.

When Catra gives her infallible villain speeches, we know that’s not all there is to her, and the narrative pokes fun at the heroes for believing she’s really that cool or unstoppable or evil.

The joke is…. That’s not Catra. But for most of ATLA we have no reason to question it in Azula.

When Catra has her breakdown after getting everything she ever wanted, but with no loyal friend left at her side, it’s Azula she most resembles. We get our madness, our lashing out, our losing it publicly. But unlike with Azula, Catra is able to learn and grow from that. Because unlike Azula, Catra has always been a prioritised main character, whose feelings constantly help drive the plot.

For Azula, this moment was a private one for the audience. It let us know how much her friends’ abandonment had affected her, and gave us an excuse for her approaching defeat.

The ATLA writers did have a plan for Azula’s arc from there, which involved Zuko being pivotal for her and every day I remember it existed I want to die a little –

"Azula loved Zuko, more than anyone save her father. She also felt competitive with him for their parents’ attention of course, but since she had alienated herself from her mother, she focused her energy on pleasing dad… which of course meant acting in more and more intense and possibly evil ways. By the end of the series, of course, her loss of her friends shatters the part of her identity that she could somehow control affection and love through intimidation. As a result she spirals… I did however intend to leave a kernel of humanity, and had we made a season 4 Azula would have completely bottomed and we would have explored the possibility of a path to redemption. True story!"

-       Aaron Ehasz

This is uhhhhhhhh...

...this is Catra’s story. She just gets to hit that rock bottom and has that hand up held out to her.

- but it’s pointless to speculate about how well or meaningfully the ATLA team would have handled this particular redemption arc because they didn’t get the episodes for it. Azula’s story ends with her, the new Fire Lord’s insane little sister, defeated and locked up to stop her hurting anyone else. yes I know the comics exist I am not gonna talk about the comics.  

No adult ever seems to worry about Azula. Not even Iroh expresses belief that she’d ever be better than she was acting. Which seems… unfair, considering his infinite patience for Zuko, and the fact that he himself was the biggest most effective bad guy the series never saw up until his son’s death.

So back to the Zuko/Catra comparison. Although Catra starts out reluctant to do much damage to Adora and therefore the rebellion hopes she represents as She-Ra, and Zuko starts the series at his most inflexible and serious, they follow a similar journey. Both reach a point where they’re allowed a period of happiness, and the audience hopes that if they do rejoin the war it might be for the good team.

Hurt and discarded by the hoard for daring to show sympathy towards a prisoner, Catra’s sent out into the Crimson Wastes on a fool’s errands, with only her loyal, loving only friend beside her, urging her to choose happiness, to choose herself.

Catra definitely has more fun in the Crimson waste than she does throughout most of the show.

Zuko too, when he lets himself ease into his customer service job, starts to smile. He goes on a DATE, he mellows out, he has fun being a vigilante on his own terms, he’s making his Uncle proud.

But they can’t choose it, because they’ve been forced into it. They need to get the thing they think they want first before they can decide to give that up. So when the chance to return triumphant to their old life falls into their laps, it’s too big a temptation to give up.

And though they want similar things – prestige and respect as part of a colonialist war machine – their motivations for wanting them are completely different.

Our good boy Zuko believes he’s a good boy. He has that strict code of honour and he never wants to let anyone forget that that’s what he’s all about. It’s not until he’s subject to the cruel effects of the Fire Nation himself that he understands how wrong it is. Until then he believes the Fire Nation is in the right, and needs to be proven that they’re not – again, Adora vibes.

Catra, again, does not care about honour. She’s all about trickery. No one needs to convince her she’s the villain of the tale – she’s fully self-aware of that.

And the thing is……. She thinks she deserves to be bad, that they all do, but her especially.

This isn’t an angsty revelation for Catra. This is something she did on purpose as vengeance on a world she feels has only ever hurt her. She genuinely feels that hurting people is all she’s ever been good for, that the best one good thing she could do would be to make the ultimate sacrifice and take herself off the chessboard.

Zuko has never had to doubt that he mattered. His choices always mean something, and if he’s ever in danger of forgetting the truth or weight of that, his uncle is always there to offer love and patience and council.

Zuko’s issue isn’t that no one ever tried to get him to try harder or be better – it’s that so many different people tell him this that he doesn’t know which version of better is right.

Catra’s never had anything resembling a loving and guiding parental presence in her life. No one really holds her accountable to her actions until that rad time when Adora punches her in the face.

The first time Catra sees that there’s an option to deal with bad mistakes that isn’t just giving up and doubling down is when she sees Glimmer work to fix hers.

No one was ever going to stand patiently and unconditionally by Catra’s side. Adora couldn’t (rightly). Catra always kept Scorpia as much at arms length as she was able to, because she knew that one day she’d go too far and lose her. (and she does! again, rightly.) And of course though Shadow Weaver briefly fakes being the caring parent she never was, she’s in this for herself.

Catra didn’t need to be told she was fighting on the wrong side – she knew that - what she needed to learn was that she was loved, so that she could believe that she was worth making herself something better.

She needed to know that there was an option to turn back and stop slipping further down the villainy slope.

Family drama aside, Zuko grew up loved and in luxury. He grew up used to hugs, presents and fancy things. Up until season 2, he goes around with his own warship, his own room, and no one to answer to. Catra has none of that she’s hoping to get back to, or to win.

No matter how high Catra’s star rises in the hoard, the closest she ever gets to luxury is in Adora’s dream vision for them. Unlike most of SPOP’s female leads, Catra is no Princess. Not only has she never known parental love and support, she’s spent her whole young life as a child soldier, training to be a weapon. Adora and Catra have never eaten cake, or petted a horse. They’ve never not worn some kind of uniform. They’re used to bunk beds and a sky grey with ugly fumes.

The most we ever see Catra get for herself is a slight addition to her outfit. There’s no fine clothes or room or food for the chief strategist of the hoard – she’s just a cog in the same machine. It’s control and protection Catra’s chasing – not materialistic gain.

She doesn’t even want power– she just wants to be respected and safe and trusted.

On ATLA -  as brilliantly pointed out here  – Zuko gets his big moments with Aang, Sokka and Katara, but not with Toph. I do think that was because there was nothing personal he needed to make amends to her over (recent assassination attempt aside), but more practically it was about the others needing to learn to trust Zuko. Yes, Zuko needed to make amends but we don’t actually see much of that in season 3 - what we do see is the Gaang learning to trust him.

The Best Friend Squad basically trusts Catra immediately. Unlike the Gaang with Zuko, they’re not worried that Catra’s about to betray them- she’s already made the ultimate sacrifice for them, and has no bargaining power with Prime. Where Zuko was a new friend when they did make him one, Catra was already everything to Adora and that’s not news. Glimmer and Bow love Adora, and they know she needs Catra.

Catra’s redemption is important for her story, but it’s not what our heroes need from her. Before she can have a chance to be redeemed, she needs to be rescued. Save the cat indeed.

Again, it comes back to the fact that Zuko had things back in the Fire Nation to give up, but by the end of things with Catra, she has no one, and she’s a brainwashed pawn. Unlike Zuko, who they worry might betray them again for the family, girlfriend and title he left behind, the BFS have no reason not to trust Catra.

There is nothing for her to flip to. She’s on their side because she has nowhere to go.

Zuko approaches the Gaang, seeing in them his new and only path to honour – the Best Friend Squad go out and get Catra, because she’s part of the hero’s prize.

To even make himself tolerable for the Gaang, never mind a prize, Zuko needed to change – to let his pride turn to humility, to let his prickly lone wolf act die. But Catra needed to mostly stay who she is – a tactical genius, a suspicious rebel who’s “never listened to anyone in her life” who is desperately, selfishly in love with Adora, our painfully self-sacrificing hero.

Zuko, unlike Catra, basically trusts his new friends, because he chose them. He’s known them on some level for years, and is prepared to take any punishment they feel he’s earned. But Catra spends most of the immediate time after her rescue terrified that someone’s about to enact revenge on her – she needs to learn to trust them.

There was no reason it HAD to be Zuko who taught the avatar fire-bending other than it making a nice narrative circle with his family history and because we’re already invested in his development. But to save She-ra and Etheria, it had to be Catra. Because only Catra was the thing Adora selfishly wanted for herself – only Catra loved her completely as Adora first, She-Ra second.

So what fuelled the fire of this messy disjointed rant was seeing a lot of people claim that no redemption arc since Zuko’s has been written so successfully.

Certainly, Zuko gets forced to reckon with his actions and make an active choice to do the right thing and make amends. Our heroes don’t all immediately forgive him and the narrative doesn’t imply that they should. I can see how, with less episodes interacting with the group (but really only just) Catra can be seen as “getting off easily”.

In getting into arguments about redemption at all I think we’ve got to look at justice and forgiveness. Justice is good and important to seek in a story for kids about writing the wrongs of an unjust war. But justice should be about the people who have been wronged getting what they need, not about punishing the character who wronged them. No single character that’s been wronged owes the one who hurt them their forgiveness - but if they give it, what then?

In the same way Aang letting the Fire Lord live had nothing to do with Ozai, and everything to do with Aang and what he’d be comfortable with as a pacifistic child, Catra doesn’t have control over the fact that the people she’s spent seasons scheming against or hurting are instantly prepared to put that behind them.

On a morals front? Sure, it’s good to let kids know that when you fuck up and act like a bad guy that you work to earn redemption from those you’ve harmed. But it’s also an entertainment show. And what we want to see as an audience for our wayward heroes is the reconciliation with the person who loves them the most, that they let down most personally - the closest the two of them have to loving family. For Zuko that’s Iroh. For Catra it’s Adora.

Zuko meets Iroh last, so when they do hug it out, we’ve watched him change and grow a lot - it feels earned. But Adora is the first one Catra sees - who doesn’t even ask her to change yet, just to keep fighting, to live.

“That’s how she would have gotten out, and changed. With the faith and love of someone she had hurt, but who stuck by her anyway. Just as he had been saved by faith and love from someone he had hurt, but who stuck by him.”

-          Aaron Ehasz on Azula and Zuko 

I might wish we’d gotten more episodes of She-Ra for Catra to interact with the whole crew and make amends, forming individual bonds just like Zuko was allowed to do, but I’m so grateful, that, unlike in Azula’s case, we got those episodes at all.

Noelle said in a recent interview when asked about whether Adora had gotten over the whole believing-her-worth-was-based-on-what-she-could-do-for-others thing that it probably wasn’t something she’d fully worked through yet. But she’d started working on it. At the end of the show, Catra hasn’t finished with her issues either – so maybe the bulk of any real amends she needs to make are still to come.

Zuko does get a more complete “redemption” but his journey was always different to Catra’s, and in many ways much more like Adora’s. The very nature of Catra’s story is about questioning how much she needed redemption in the first place, or at least, how much more than the rest of them. Scorpia, Entrapta, Hordak’s a whole other ball-game, Adora, Glimmer, Huntara, Lonnie, Rogelio and Kyle were all involved in doing bad, and some of them got the time to strive to make up for it. Catra’s redemptive moment doesn’t just come right after she just got everything she ever worked for and hates it – it’s when Glimmer, someone she arguably did the most to hurt, is also at her lowest.

SPOP may give us less of an epilogue, but there’s a certainty now that the hoard is gone. The Fire Nation very much does not go away, and only limited attempts at reparations are made. So yeah, maybe Zuko gets a harder time before getting crowned the new Fire Lord, but Catra gets no prize out of her redemption. Just life, and the knowledge that Adora loves her.

None of these characters make for exact mirrors of each other that are easy to compare. Their creators were telling different stories and She-Ra had that all-important gay agenda to work in. To preserve that, Noelle Stevenson’s talked in multiple interviews about them having to make Catra and Adora’s romance central to allowing both their plotlines and the endgame for the show to function.

(Though as correctly noted here I’m not saying that it wouldn’t have improved things if Avatar had felt like pushing for that)

I’m not gonna lie – I have not always been a ride-or-die crewmember on the good ship catradora. I mean I was here for it, I saw and loved and hated Buffy season 3, I knew what was missing in my life, but maybe I just hadn’t seen enough stories like theirs work out in either fiction or real life before and didn’t dare to hope it would all work out ok.

And tbh the crew crafted such wonderful characters I was in a very comfy multishipping place as a viewer for most of the show. (as late as 5x03 I was still yelling that glitter/catra and scorpia/adora were both underrated ships which deserved way more screentime.)

Again, really not the best person to say it without a load more research, but neither show is perfect, especially as it comes to exploring colonialism through fantasy worlds. But I think it’s definitely wrong that Avatar which has a lottttt of well-documented criticism against it is held up on a pedestal as the only way for characters like Zuko or Catra to make amends. Also, because no other story is hopefully ever going to be telling the exact same story for its world or characters. She-Ra certainly wasn’t. And that’s a good thing!!

So Zuko had to learn he was wrong about everything and give up the life he’d been dreaming of for so long. The thing Catra needed to be proved wrong about to allow her to change wasn’t morals. It was her belief that -

[shipping-receiving]

Fictober 2019 Day 7: “No, and that’s final.”

Rating: T | Word Count: 2219 Fandom: A Song of Ice and Fire / Game of Thrones Relationship: Jaime Lannister / Brienne of Tarth Tags: Alternate Universe – Modern Setting

(read on AO3)

//////

“Please.”

“No.”

“Please.”

“No.”

“Please, Jaime.”

“No, Brienne.”

“I promise I’ll do that thing you like, as often as you want.”

“You like it too, and you already do it as often as I want.”

“It’s still honest work!”

“And the answer is still no. In any case, I no longer trust any of your promises.”

“Why not?”

“You said we were just coming here to volunteer for the day. It’ll be a good distraction, Jaime, from everything that’s going on, you said. You promised we weren’t going to leave this shelter with a cat. All. Lies.”

“Those things were true when I said them!” Brienne snuggles the cat in her arms. “But this one has been stuck here for so long, Jaime. Look at it. It looks so sad.”

Jaime does look at it, and it does not look sad. It looks extremely grumpy and fed up with this whole situation. It might even be trying to escape from Brienne, though it’s no match for her strength. Do cats even come in that colour? Or shape? Or size? It looks like an average-sized cat in Brienne’s arms. And Brienne is not average-sized.

“Maybe it’s been here for so long because it barely even looks like a cat. People probably thought it was a mistake.”

Brienne glares at him. “Jaime! Don’t be mean!”

“It’s not as if it can understand what I’m saying!”

“The first time we met, you said I barely looked like a woman. And look where we are now.”

Oh no, she did not just— “You do not get to pull that card just so you can adopt a cat. I have more than redeemed myself for that comment.”

This must be one of the strangest arguments he’s ever had with Brienne. And that’s counting the ones they had before they were even friends, let alone… boyfriend-and-girlfriend? Lovers? Partners? Life partners? They had never really talked about labels. At first, they had hated each other. And then they didn’t. And then they were spending more and more time together, besides that one month—never mind, he doesn’t want to think about that. And then it was kind of like they were dating, maybe? And then she was barely sleeping in her own bed, at her own apartment. One day, he asked her to move in with him. She thought about it for the next month, then broke her lease. And after all of that, there’s been all the… the everything-that’s-going-on.

Jaime would never regret asking her to move in with him in the first place, but now she wants this ‘cat’ to move in with them too, and that had never been on the table. Brienne likes cats, he knows, but he thought it was at the level of petting stray cats on the street, and feeding them a treat if she happens to have some on her. She never said anything about owning one until now, and the one she falls in love with is this. This… ‘cat’. It is not only a very strange ‘cat’, it is also a very furry ‘cat’, and he doesn’t want its fur all over his very expensive furniture.

In addition to that crucial point, Lannisters don’t have pets. They just… don’t. He wonders what his father would think of all of this, if his father were still alive. Tyrion, he knows, wouldn’t be able to stop laughing. “Even if I could believe you enjoying the company of a non-human life form, Jaime, that looks nothing like a cat,” his brother would say, upon seeing the beast. Cersei would—

Well, best not to think about his sister. She’s part of the reason Brienne dragged him to the shelter in the first place. A good distraction, Jaime scoffs in his own head. I am the victim of a con.

“Come on, Jaime,” Brienne pleads again, and widens her blue eyes at him in exactly the way she knows he can’t resist. “I swear, I’ll do all the work. Feed him—” oh, it’s a ‘him’ now, not just an ‘it’— “change his litter, take him to the vet, everything. I’ll carry a lint roller on me at all times. I’ll carry two lint rollers. You won’t even have to lift a finger.”

“No, Brienne, and that’s final.”

It was not final.

Jaime found, once again, that he could never be entirely immune to Brienne’s inexplicable charms. He doesn’t even know if charms is the right word for it. She just manages to make him feel so heartless and—he thinks the right word might be dishonourable, even in this day and age—when he doesn’t go along with what she wants. What she wants, in fairness, is usually something honourable, like giving a ‘cat’ a good home.

In his defence, she did do the whole… eye thing. When they had first met, she walked around like she wanted to fold her body into herself. Now she’s learned to maximise her best assets. She has an eye thing, and it is immensely persuasive.

Jaime did, however, manage to wrangle naming privileges from Brienne. And so Jaime dubbed the beast ‘Bear’, much to her chagrin, even though she had to concede that Bear does look more like a miniature grizzly than his own species. Jaime did also offer the alternative name of “Cat”, on the condition that they include the quotation marks on any paperwork, and do the stipulated air quotes every time they refer to the animal by name. Brienne refused immediately. You can’t give him a name with punctuation, Jaime, she groaned. Alright then. Bear it is, he responded, triumphantly.

Bear is curled up in Jaime’s lap right now, purring away. Gods, it’s really much uglier in daylight. It’s been three months and he still thinks so. But the damn thing loves him. Oh, Bear shows Brienne some cursory devotion when he needs to. He’ll rub against her calf, ask her for the food and treats he knows she’ll give him. But if Bear has to choose between both of their laps, he always chooses Jaime’s. Jaime is even starting to think that Bear only tries to scratch his very expensive furniture because he knows Jaime will pick him up immediately. And then Bear holds on to Jaime for dear life, and refuses to let go. If Jaime manages to get him off, he goes right for the couch, claws at the ready, until Jaime grabs him again, and gets swindled into another cuddle. What was all that crap about cats being antisocial? He’s got himself one manipulative, overly-affectionate brute.

Nonetheless, Jaime has to be grateful to Bear for one thing: ever since they got him, it’s gone some way to mend the rift between him and his niece and nephew—his children. It was a rift that had formed after they had discovered, in the process of Cersei’s divorce from Robert, that Jaime was their biological father (how they managed to keep that out of the papers was some kind of miracle).

Of course, Bear had no impact on his relationship with their eldest. Joffrey is a lost cause, off wreaking havoc at some university to which Cersei must have donated a generous amount, given that the boy has neither the brains nor the discipline to get accepted legitimately. Jaime doesn’t want to be a father to Joffrey, quite frankly. He is the worst parts of Cersei and Robert combined, even if his blood is all Lannister.

But Jaime does care about his relationship with Myrcella and Tommen, which had been tender, if distant, before the paternity tests, and had taken an understandable turn for the worse after. And that was made considerably more painful by the fact that since the divorce, Cersei—whether out of instability, or nonchalance, or just being Cersei—has taken to leaving Myrcella and Tommen with him for extended periods. Days at a time, even, and going off to do Gods-knows-what. Thankfully, Jaime has an extra bedroom and a comfortable pull-out couch in his home office, which is a room he barely uses anyway. Plus, his apartment isn’t too far from either of their schools.

And Brienne has been a saint about it all, of course. Even though Cersei often couldn’t decide which was more vexing to her—Brienne’s presence in Jaime’s life, or Myrcella and Tommen’s presence in her own.

Still, the first few times the children had stayed with their uncle-turned-father were… trying. At least, it had been that way with Myrcella, who seemed to fluctuate between sullen and irate, all her negativity directed at him, at her mother, at Robert, at the world in general, and even on rare occasions at Brienne. Tommen just seemed unsure as to what to do, and took to following his sister’s example, in terms of the sullenness, if not the irateness.

In the era of Bear, though, things seem to be looking up. Tommen was beyond excited when he found out that Jaime finally has the cat that Cersei would never let Tommen have. Jaime’s neph—his son—began opening up to him in a way that he thought would never happen. Myrcella, too, is starting to warm up to Jaime, swayed as she is by Bear and how much the ‘cat’ loves him. It seems that Bear, like Brienne, has his own inexplicable charms.

“You planned this all along, didn’t you?” he had asked Brienne one night, nodding towards Bear. The ‘cat’ was nestled at their feet, on Jaime’s ludicrously expensive duvet cover, instead of in his own ludicrously expensive heated cat bed. “Bear, and the kids.”

“Maybe I did,” she had said, with a small smile. “Tommen told me how much he wanted one when we saw one of the strays out on the street. I thought it was worth trying, to help with the kids. But I didn’t want you to get disappointed if it failed, so I didn’t tell you. I’m glad it turned out better than I expected.”

“You’re better than I deserve, you know that?”

“I wouldn’t be with you if you were less than I deserve, as I always remind you when you say such things.”

“I know, I know. Speaking of the kids, I… I’ve been thinking.” Jaime had been thinking about it for weeks, actually, but he had felt too nervous to broach the subject with Brienne till then. “About… custody. I haven’t spoken to a lawyer yet, so I’m not really sure what my options are. But they’re here so often, these days. And… I don’t think things are going very well back home, with Cersei.”

“No. I don’t think so.” Myrcella had told Brienne some things, Jaime knew, though Brienne had promised his daughter to keep them secret for now.

“Will you mind, if they’re here even more often? Or… permanently? I—I know you didn’t sign up for all of this. My past, and… everything.”

“I signed up for you, didn’t I?” was her reply. “I knew enough, before we even started dating.” In fact, when she had first found out—or rather, first confirmed the rumours that had swirled around the Lannisters for years—she hadn’t spoken to him for a whole month. He had thought he had lost her friendship forever, young and shaky as it was back then. “People have their histories,” she continued, as if Jaime’s history isn’t infinitely more fucked up than most. “You’ve had to deal with a fair share of mine.”

Jaime had kissed her, then.

As he runs his fingers through Bear’s fur, he thinks about how he’s had to deal with Brienne’s histories, all her traumas. They still manifest, in small ways, every day. But what he’s done for her, it seems like nothing compared to what’s he’s asking her to do. She didn’t think she was going to be living with anyone other than him when she moved in, first of all, and now there’s a child and a teenager in their apartment more than half the time. And she’s had to become a sort of—guardian to the kids, alongside him. He doesn’t really know what else to call her, or himself, since Robert is still their father on paper. Of course the man hasn’t been around lately, not that he was a particularly present father for the two younger children when he and Cersei were still married, between his businesses and his mistresses.

But if Jaime does become their father, legally—he’s not looking forward to discussing this with Cersei—what would Brienne be, then? He supposes she’d be their stepmother, perhaps, if she agrees when he finally asks her to marry him. He expects she will take weeks, maybe months, to give him an answer. She knows what she’d be signing up for, marrying Jaime. That’s a decision that will take time.

Anyway, they’ll work it out eventually. They always do, him and Brienne. In the meantime, he will sit here with this ‘cat’ that looks nothing like a cat, a ‘cat’ who couldn’t care less about Jaime’s history. Even if his feline brain could comprehend any of it, Jaime has the sneaking suspicion that Bear might love him regardless of it all.

Once, Jaime thought he had done far too many terrible things in his life to warrant such a love. A love, regardless. But—that was a long time ago.

That was before Brienne.

[mythologyfolklore]

Trusting the enemy - Pt. 02

Baldr – Forgiveness

(A/N: Set the night before Baldr’s death. He has a conversation with Loki, fully aware that he’s talking to his murderer. It doesn’t bother him nearly as much as it should.)

Baldr isn't capable of hatred.

Not of loathing or disgust.

Not even of spite or malice.

He is, however, capable of anger and revulsion.

Even though his anger never lasts long, it's still there. He never shows it; there is no point. Besides, he doesn't want to hurt anyone by lashing out in any way.

Someone has to be the better person and who, if not him?

So he chooses to be the role model, the paragon of virtue, the one who brightens up everyone's day. It's actually quite easy; he is just that kind of person. Being kind to others brings him joy. His friendliness and compassion are genuine. His cheerfulness is not. But why?

Baldr is lucky, oh so lucky.

He has beauty, wisdom and grace. He has the biggest ship and the fairest, holiest hall in Asgard. He has everyone's love and admiration. He has a lovely wife and a wonderful son.

So why, why the Niflheimr is he not happy?!

His smile is brighter than the sun, but it only serves to please others and hide his melancholy.

Everyone thinks him happy, but he isn't and only four people in Asgard know this.

Óðinn knows, because of course he does.

Baldr doesn't talk to his father about his depression, but the Allfather knows anyway. And maybe, just maybe, the light god is grateful, that his father doesn't judge him for it or bring it up.

Höðr knows too.

He knows Baldr better than anyone, even though his eyes cannot see. His shadow is like a blanket of comfort, his coolness is soothing. The god of darkness and winter expects nothing from him.

Heimdallr knows, because nothing escapes him.

Baldr values the Guardian's understanding and sympathetic nature, so similar to his own. What he values even more is that he doesn't participate, when the other gods throw stuff at him.

The last person who knows is definitely the most problematic one: Loki.

Baldr wishes, that the red-haired trickster would like him at least a little bit – after all, they are by oath uncle and nephew. That will never be, though: Loki wants him dead and will indeed be the one to bring on his imminent demise.

Baldr doesn't even know why Loki hates him so much (it's not like the older god has ever told him, what his problem is; he always scoffs and turns away, when Baldr tries to talk to him). He only knows, that he will die at the other's hands. And he knows exactly how, too – his prophetic nightmares are very vivid.

Maybe he should hate Loki for being his future murderer.

But he doesn't.

He is still angry at him, though.

You can't frame Höðr for murder and expect the prospective murder victim not to be angry!

.

Loki hates everything about Baldr.

Everything.

He hates, that the blondie is Óðinn's son.

He hates, that the young god is so pretty, graceful, wise and sweet.

He hates, that everyone loves that goody-two-shoes and fusses about him, when he shows the slightest hint of distress. Frigg has made literally everything in all nine worlds swear, that it wouldn't harm her “precious baby boy”! Well, almost everything – a twig of mistletoe was too young to sign legally binding contracts, she said. But still!

It makes him sick, so sick. Seeing Baldr makes his blood boil. Hearing his voice makes him want to retch and when he has to make body contact for whatever reason, his flesh crawls beneath his skin.

Dwarves don't loathe the sun as much as Loki loathes Baldr.

One of the reasons is, of course, envy.

No surprise there, the trickster knows his own nature. Of course he wouldn't say that out loud, but he's quite sure, that most people already know.

But they don't know, just how envious he is.

Loki is the one, who does all the shit work for the Aesir! Not Baldr! Yet he gets all the praise and love, even though all he does is being a hippie and making decisions that can't be undone! So why does Sunny Boy get all the love and positive attention?! That's so unfair, it's physically painful!

But that's not the only reason for his envy.

Óðinn is nothing, if not a loving father, Loki knows this. The Allfather loves all of his many children equally, although he has the stupidest way of showing it.

But he doesn't love all of Loki's children.

Once upon a time, Loki and Óðinn mixed their blood and vowed brotherhood, swearing to treat the other's children as their own. But apparently that doesn't go for Fenrir, Jörmungandr and Hel. The trickster knows, that the triplets are dangerous, but that's no excuse for their treatment!

There has been a time, when the trickster loved Baldr and Höðr like they were his own. But that was before his own children were banished. The twins know nothing; they were toddlers back then. And if the Æsir refuse to tell them about it, why should he?

It doesn't matter anyhow.

Loki will do anything to send them to Hel. And it will be the greatest satisfaction to see the horror on the Æsir's faces and hurt Óðinn and Frigg in the worst way possible.

.

Baldr is sitting on the roof of his house and judging by the position of the moon, it's almost midnight.

It's wonderfully quiet, when everyone is asleep. It relaxes him, when he is shaken from a nightmare.

Normally, he would go and cry on his brother's shoulder, but he doesn't want to wake him.

So sitting on his roof and watching the moon and stars is the second option.

He feels a presence behind him and smiles lopsidedly: “Why am I not surprised, that you got through the barrier on my house?”

A slightly higher, more feminine voice retorts: “Maybe it's because there is nothing I cannot do? And what about you? Why am I not surprised, that you're doing something as dangerous as sitting on a roof, instead of lying with your wife?”

Baldr laughs softly and finally turns around: “What is this I see? Loki actually seeking my company and talking to me? What a sensation!”

Loki snorts: “And what is this I hear? Irony from the mouth of the paragon of perfection? Never thought I would live to see that moment!”

The blond rolls his eyes: “We both know, that I will never be perfect, no matter how hard I try. But seriously; how did you get in? The force field around my property is supposed to keep out everyone with malicious or improper intent.”

The redhead smirks: “Please, I know what spells Frigg used to put the barrier up. And for every spell in the world, there is a counter spell to match.”

“Huh. Figures.”

It's only now that Baldr notices, that Loki is floating in mid-air – he must be wearing his air-walking shoes.

“Mind if I sit with you?”, the trickster asks.

“You already invaded my property and didn't ask my permission.”

“Good point.”

Baldr moves over and allows Loki to sit next to him.

He can't decide, if he's happy, that his “uncle” is actually initiating a conversation for once, or if he's suspicious as to why.

Loki sees no point in dispelling the other's suspicions.

“What are you doing up here in the middle of the night?”, he questions. “Couldn't deal with your nightmares again?”

“That and I wanted to see the night sky one last time, before I die.”

“So you know.”

“You already knew, that I know.”

The fire giant frowns. “You're oddly casual about it. After all that fuss about your nightmares.”

He receives a frown in return.

“Uncle, there is a difference between knowing that you're going to die no matter what, and suffering from perpetual sleep-deprivation.”

“Yes, I suppose there is.”

They fall back into silence for a while.

Baldr is the first to speak again: “So, what gives me the honour of you finally talking to me, uncle? You have never done that before.”

Loki shrugs: “I'll be honest for once; I don't know.”

Another moment of awkward silence.

Finally, the Bright One notes: “The stars are very beautiful tonight.”

Loki chuckles: “Yes, but that's nothing special to me. If I want to see the stars, I just need to look at my wife. She has the night sky in her hair.”

Sigyn, Baldr's starry-haired half-sister.

Baldr doesn't like how shrewish and abrasive she is, but she is also the most reliable, selfless person he knows.

It's a matter of fact, that Loki is a terrible husband; often absent, treacherous, a liar and definitely a pervert. But no matter how much his wife gives him hell for his nonsense, he can count on her unwavering strength and loyalty, for better or worse. Baldr wishes his own wife was half that loyal (as if he didn't know about her tryst with his brother Hermóðr), then again he has done nothing to earn her loyalty either.

He is about to ask, if the shapeshifter loves Sigyn, but then Loki continues: “In fact, dare I say, that the night sky in all its splendour could never measure up to Sigyn's hair.”

Baldr smiles; that's all the answer he needs. “So you do love her.”

The trickster chuckles.

He will never be able to tell his wife these words, but it's a truth everyone is aware of. When and why his tomboyish wife decided, that he is worth travelling all nine worlds for, is beyond him. But it is so. The ornament around his neck too severely proves it.

Of course Baldr has noticed the necklace Loki is wearing.

“I like your necklace”, he tells the older god. And immediately wishes he didn't: Loki's smile disappears and is replaced by a scowl.

“It's beautiful, isn't it?” The fire giant's voice is cold.

“It really is. There is just something about it, that makes it better than Brisingamen.”

That seems to mollify the older god.

“You're damn right. It's the best one in all nine worlds. I wouldn't give it up for anything.”

“May I hold it? Just for a moment?”

Loki's eyes narrow. But then he relents and takes it off. “If I didn't know, that your hands are so careful, I wouldn't agree to this. Consider this the last and only favour I will ever do to you.”

Baldr beams at him and takes it gingerly. To him this is more than just a favour.

The necklace lies comfortably in his glowing hand.

Now that he sees it up close and touches it with his own fingers, he can tell, what makes it so beautiful: it's self-made. Only the gold bordering is dwarf's work. This piece of jewellery has a personality, which Brisingamen lacks. Each component has a story, he can feel it.

“Do you want to know, what it is?”

It's not a question.

“I'm all ears”, Baldr agrees. If Loki wants to tell him the story, who is he to refuse?

So Loki begins to explain: “This necklace was a gift from Sigyn … and from my children.”

“Not Nari and Narfi, I assume?”

“No. Not them.”

Loki sighs heavily and Baldr marvels; he has never heard the older god sigh before.

Then he elaborates: “The carved tooth is from my eldest son Fenrir. The bordered green scale comes from my second son Jörmungandr. And the curl of black and blonde hair belongs to my daughter Hel. The golden chain is from my wife. And she is the one, who made this.”

Oh.

Baldr feels not just a little uncomfortable, as he gives the necklace back to Loki, who immediately puts it back onto his neck, where it belongs.

“I didn't know they're your children”, the Bright One whispers.

“Of course you didn't!”, the trickster spits scornfully. “Your family talks about bravery in battle, but they would never gather up the spine to tell you about all the crap they've pulled!”

Loki can tell, that Baldr wants to ask what he means, but fears to anger him even more.

“Why don't you ask my daughter dear?”, he hisses, “After all, you will join her soon! I'm sure, she will be delighted to tell you, what happened back then!”

“By soon you mean tomorrow, I assume?”

That question is so sudden, that the fire giant forgets his anger.

“Yes and no”, he explains, “Travelling down there takes a while. And you won't be able to without the funeral rites. She told me so, last time I spoke to her. And that she has already prepared everything for your arrival.”

Charming.

“I'm honoured”, Baldr replies and Loki is surprised by how genuine that sentence is.

“I seriously don't understand how you're so calm about it. How are you so cavalier about the fact, that I am going to murder you tomorrow?”

“Today”, Baldr corrects and points at the clock tower near his father's hall Valhalla. It's almost 1am now. “And it's rather bold of you to assume, that I'm not angry.”

“I didn't say that. But do you not hate me? Knowing that I will be the one to send you to my daughter's realm?”

The blond shakes his head. “No. I do not hate you. I'm not even angry, because you want to kill me. It's something else, that ticks me off.”

“Oh? Do enlighten me!”

So he does: “What makes me angry is that you want to pull my twin into this. I'm not afraid to die – not even averse to it. And if you don't want to tell me, why you hate me so much, fine. But tricking Höðr into killing me, knowing that it will break him, that he will have to live with the guilt, until my father spawns another child, specifically to kill him? For that I would hit you.” A wry smile. “But I have never done such a thing before, so I'd probably punch like a little girl.”

Loki cackles: “Oh my! Looks like Asgard's golden boy has something in him after all!”

“Whatever you say, uncle.”

The cackling stops abruptly. “Don't call me that.”

The younger god smiles apologetically.

The red-haired trickster glares at him.

“Norns, how I hate, when you make that face! Actually, I hate everything about you.”

Oh my dad, here it comes, Baldr thinks and readies himself for a torrent of hatred.

Of course he could ask the redhead to just tell him that he hates him and be done with it. But he knows that Loki needs to get this off his chest, so he will listen.

“I despise you, boy”, the fire giant snarls.

“My contempt for you is beyond words. If I could, I would set you on fire, watch you die a slow and agonising death and I would laugh. I hate your pretty face. Hearing your voice makes me want to retch. Everyone adores you, but what exactly have you done to earn it? What gave them the idea, that you're perfect?! You! Don't make me laugh! We both know the truth, don't we? Pathetic, that's what you are! You call yourself a pacifist, but in truth you're just a coward, who pats himself on the back. Why your verdicts are final is a mystery to me – no matter how wise you are, even you can be wrong sometimes – and boy, can that ever be fatal! I have given the Æsir far more than you ever have! I tricked the dwarves into forging the greatest treasures for you! When have I ever got so much as a thanks from them?! And you! You just say a single word and all eyes are on you! When a giant threatens Asgard, it's either Freyja or you they want, because you're oh so fucking pretty! What everyone perceives as perfection is just a facade! You can't even deal with your nightmares – seriously, it's always the same one, shouldn't you be used to it by now? And your family life! My roller coaster of a marriage with Sigyn is more functional than you and Nanna! The only thing that keeps you two together is your son and your fear of scandal! The way you always act so cheerful makes me sick! You're more depressed than your mother is, but at least she has the excuse of knowing the future! And you still pretend, that everything is sunshine and rainbows and it pisses me off! How is it, that I am the liar here, when you are the one who's so fake, it hurts?! I can't wait to kill you! They will bawl their eyes out over your corpse and I will stand there and smile upon your body, that's how satisfying it will be! Ooohhh, how I hate you!!!”

Wow.

Baldr never thought, that it's possible to spew so much hatred and envy at once. Then again, there is nothing Loki isn't capable of.

He needs a while to let that sink in, before he responds.

“… I'm impressed. You certainly took me for a ride here.”

“Did I now”, Loki growls.

“Yes.”

“And? What are you going to say about it?”

“Just this: now that you got it off your chest, will you listen to what I have to say?”

The older god sighs: “I suppose I must – it's only fair.”

Baldr takes a deep breath, then he begins to talk: “I'm sad, that you hate me. You probably already know, just wanted to clear that up. And you are right about two things: my happiness is faked and my marriage is a catastrophe. But let me tell you this – the rest of me is not. If I want to please everyone, it's because their joy delights me. I don't help people, because it's my duty, or because I want praise, I do it, because I enjoy it. I love making others happy. If my own happiness is the price, then so be it. You on the other hand, oh man! Do you ever do something good of your own volition, just for someone else's sake? Something that doesn't involve you causing trouble beforehand? You only got those treasures for us, after you decided that cutting off Sif's hair would be funny. Branding a woman as an adulterer is not funny, Loki.”

“She is, though”, the fire giant mutters. “And guess with whom.”

“Do spare me, I beg you. Besides, it's rather hypocritical of you to lecture me about my marriage. I can't blame Nanna for having an affair, because the Norns know, I'm not remotely close to being the loving husband I should be. By Mimir's head, I can count on one hand, how often I have even slept with her, so of course she would look elsewhere for what I cannot give. But Sigyn can certainly blame you! You must have slept with more people, than you have freckles! You must be – pardon my language – the biggest man-slut in Asgard! Then you're almost never home! No wonder Sigyn is mad at you 24/7! She may be a spitfire, but she's my big sister and she deserves better! Do you have the faintest idea how lucky you are, to be married to the strongest, most loyal woman in all nine worlds?! A woman's loyalty must be earned, but you wouldn't know loyalty, if it slapped you in the face – which I know it does, because she's not some push-over housewife you can treat however you want!”

He takes a deep breath to compose himself.

Loki is gawking at him, which makes him feel incredibly awkward. This has gone too far, really. He didn't mean to talk himself into a rage like that. In his defence though, he just got a hate speech from his uncle/prospective murderer and he really, really needs a nap.

“Do forgive me”, he apologises, “I didn't mean to lash out at you.”

“Are you kidding?!”, the trickster exclaims and bursts into laughter. “You're so much better, when you drop your stupid mask! I didn't think you had it in you!”

Baldr chuckles: “It's easy to drop the masquerade, when you're a dead man. And there is a certain beauty in letting you see it. Do you know why?”

“Because it's easy to be honest to the one, who will kill you. There is no need to keep up a facade in front of your future murderer.”

Baldr smiles and nods. He is glad, that his uncle understands.

“I'm truly sorry, that you hate me”, he tells him softly. “I really wish we could get along.”

The other compresses his scarred lips into a thin line.

“Not a chance, Baldr Óðinnsón. I hate you and you must and will die.”

“I know.”

Loki hates, how world-weary, how okay with dying this young man is.

And he hates even more, that he hates it. Because it makes him aware of something, that terrifies him. It's so terrifying, that his hands begin to tremble in his lap.

He quickly digs his fingers into his trousers to hide it, but the blondie has already noticed and is looking at him with concern.

“Don't you dare pity me!”, he hisses venomously.

“I'm not pitying you”, Baldr tells him gently. “I'm feeling compassionate. Don't confuse pity with compassion.”

“I don't want either!”

“I know, I know. But I can't help it. I told you, I do not hate you like you hate me.”

Loki really wants to wipe that disgusting, sweet smile off the boy's face.

“I'm glad, that it's you, uncle.”

“I told you no- wait, what?!”

Baldr tries not to laugh at the trickster's flabbergasted expression.

“Did I shock you? Sorry, I mean to say … I'm glad that you're the one to send me to Hel, because …  well, you hate me and you won't feel guilty for killing me. I hate when people feel guilty, because of me. Stupid logic, I know. But I wouldn't want it to be anyone else. That's one of the reasons, why it angers me so, that you want to instrumentalise my brother. If it was just you, I could easily forgive you-”

“I don't want your fucking-”

“Let me finish! If it was just you, I could easily forgive you. Because I'm currently so resigned to my fate, that I don't even care anymore. I just want it all to end. In a way, you're doing me a favour.”

“… You're insane.”

Baldr snorts: “No, that would be you. I'm just depressed and world-worn. Also very much sleep-deprived. And it's 2am, so I haven't had my morning coffee either.”

“You're definitely insane”, Loki insists.

“Probably”, the other gives in. “Not that it matters now.”

He still has a few questions though.

“What are you doing up anyway?”

“I have nightmares too, boy. But unlike you, I don't whine to everyone about it.” A huff. “Then again, the only one who cares is Sigyn.”

“I do too.”

“That's because you're a goody-two-shoes. You would care, if a rock had nightmares.”

“Well, you're a bipedal fire, so close enough.”

“Well, you're a bipedal firefly.”

The Bright One chortles. That's certainly a funny way to describe the way he glows!

Then, as he turns his gaze back to the stars, he remembers another thing he always wanted to know.

“Loki?”

“Hm?”

“Where do the stars come from?”

“Ah, I remember that. Your father and his brothers made most of them. They used to be sparks from the flames of Múspellheimr, where I come from. But some of them are my creation.”

He points up to a particularly bright star.

“See that one? I'm the one who made it, it burns through me. It used to be called Lokabrenna, but the humans call it Sirius now.”

Baldr beams at him in delight, because Sirius just so happens to be one of his favourite stars.

Loki's grin turns into a bittersweet smile. “You should have seen your father back then. What a man! I couldn't help but like him immediately. The way we were back then … we had so much in common!”

The younger god can feel the sadness and nostalgia radiating from the older. He doesn't find it hard to believe him; even today, Óðinn sometimes still has a roguish twinkle and laughter in his grey eye, though it becomes rarer and rarer to see. It's no wonder Loki was hooked, when the two were younger.

He sighs: “You know, his smile back then looked just like yours. It was full of warmth and integrity. You and your brother got that from him.”

That sentence takes the god of light by surprise; he always thought, that he got it from his mother.

But he has no time to ponder on it, because Loki shocks him by starting to cry.

“Shit”, the trickster mutters and wipes his eyes on his sleeve. “I promised myself to never shed a tear over this! And in front of you too!”

Baldr fishes a paper tissue out of his pocket and hands it to him. Of course he doesn't get a thank you, but Loki is the last person he'd expect one from anyway.

“Fuck you! Your twin and your father too!”, the redhead rasps randomly.

At this point it sounds rather forced, but Baldr doesn't voice that.

“I hate you! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!”

Loki freezes, when the younger god embraces him. Once he realises what is going on, he is tempted to push the blond off the roof and test, if gravity has also sworn an oath, but he doesn't. Instead he allows himself to weep – silently; he refuses to be a bawling, snivelling mess. He feels the other's left hand pat his upper back in comfort.

The awareness from earlier returns full force and the trickster hates it with all his might.

Most of the gods aren't aware of it, but he's actually just a little older than Óðinn (a few decades, maybe). He knows the Æsir so well. He can count on one hand how many of the Allfather's children he hasn't known since their childhood.

He was there, when the twins were born, even got to hold them in his arms. Back then he loved them. That time is long gone now and he hates them both, he hates almost all of Óðinn's children at this point.

“I hate you! Go to fucking Helheim!”

“I know and I will”, Baldr responds way too gently. “Also, love you too, uncle.”

“How dare you-”

“Shhhhh.”

It takes a while for Loki to calm down. When he eventually does, he winds himself out of Baldr's hug and clears his throat.

“Alright, this is enough. More of this sap and I'll puke.”

Baldr knows, when it's better to shut up.

They fall back into silence, but it's more comfortable this time.

It's already past 3am, when he speaks up: “One last question.”

Loki groans and rolls his eyes, but consents.

“Will your daughter be kind?”

Or will she take whatever grudge she has out on me? - the trickster can hear the untold part of the question in the boy's voice.

He thinks for a moment.

If he knows his daughter at all, she won't take her grudges on Óðinn out on Baldr. She could and would be in the right, if she did. But she wouldn't. Hel is bigger than that – besides Baldr is the purest being in Asgard (as much as Loki loathes to admit it). And Hel really likes cute, beautiful things (she got that from her mother, he remembers).

Of course he could tell Baldr, that she would make his afterlife Náströnd, but for some reason he chooses to be honest.

“Well, unlike the rest of Asgard, you and your brother don't actually have a skeleton in your closet, so you have nothing to fear. She is a just goddess. You will be in good hands with her. In fact, dare I say that, if you can look past her appearance, you will even like her.”

Baldr feels significantly more at ease hearing these words.

Enough at ease, that he chortles, when Loki adds: “Just don't mention the Christians. Or horses; the only horse she likes is Sleipnir.”

“Noted.”

All of the sudden Baldr yawns – once again overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, that reminds him of his sleep-deprivation.

“My soul for good sleep!”, he jokes.

Loki smirks at him: “That can be arranged – I'm sure your soul is valuable enough to service as appropriate payment.”

The god of light bursts into laughter.

Once he settles down, he smiles at the redhead. “I haven't laughed this much in years. Thank you, uncle.”

Loki doesn't chide him this time.

Instead, and much to his surprise, he rolls his eyes and huffs: “Sleep, boy. I'll see to it, that your last nap in Heaven will be peaceful.”

It takes Baldr a second to realise, that the fire giant is inviting him to rest his head on his shoulder.

He wants to say no and tell the older to go to sleep of his own, instead of spending the rest of the night on this roof with him. But he is just so incredibly tired, that he allows himself to be selfish for once in his life.

The trickster's scorching temperature seeps through the fire-proof clothing and somehow it makes the Bright One feel like he's wrapped in a warm blanket. He's asleep within seconds.

Loki notices how the younger man's body relaxes and slumps against his right side. And of course he has also noticed, how the other's glow intensified, when he laughed genuinely.

He sighs, wraps an arm around the other's shoulder and glares down at the shock of platinum blond hair.

I hate you and your children, Óðinn. But what I hate even more, is that I love them as well.

.

---

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“Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.”