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animekath · 4 years

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A Ray Of Sunshine!

Yagi Toshinori (All Might) X Hero!Reader

Hey guys, Kat here!

I am back once again after two months of nothing but a bunch of drawings! (My bad-) I returned because I finished watching Bnha, up to season 4, and I gosh dang love it! Everyone is so lovable and I have fallen for every teacher-(Hot teachers, ouf) And All Might is one of them-He is so sweet, I want to cry so much for him!

Anyway, here is a long ass-story for you, cuties! I hope you like it! Sorry for spelling and grammar! (My dyslexic ass-huhu!)

Words: 8469

Warning: slow burn, tooth rotting fluff, adorable reader and Toshi, swearing, injury, coughing up blood (ForComedy), eating out, riding, sweet to intense sex, creamepie, size kink-ish?

Enjoy!

Another sunny morning in Musutafu, barely any clouds in the sky and birds chirping across town.

But an older man seemed a bit down as he walked out of the store, coughing into his hand as blood splurt out. “Damn it…” He grunted out as he looked at his palm. Toshinori already spent his three hours of power in the morning, since one person called out for help, one after another. It was his selfless heart; he couldn’t help himself; he wanted to help people! But now he has to spend all day to suffer in this weak form. At least he is starting teaching soon in U. A High, so he could rest his body, it was for the best.

As he looked through his bag, he was taken by surprise when a blast came near him, noticing it was in the store he just left. A giant beast appeared, holding a bag which was full of money. Damn, Thief! People ran and screamed, but Toshinori held his place. “Hey-!” He snapped, about to changed but his own body stopped him, coughing up blood once again.

The beast looked down at him, his tail knocking him back. “Hahaha!! An old man trying to act big, huh?” The creature laughed, Toshinori holding his side as he was on the floor.

“Fu-” He growled. ‘Come on, you pathetic man, fight!’ He mentally shouted to himself, the beast getting closer. 'Shit, shit!’

Before the beast could throw another hit, a person whooshed past and punched him right in the jaw. “No worry, Citizens!” You turned, a bright smile on your face. “Sunshine is here!”

-Name: _____ _____

Hero Name: Sunshine

Age: 2X

Quirk: Sun - Your body absorbs the suns energy, building up strength and speed, practically unstoppable. But you become weak if clouds are blocking the sun or it’s night time-

Toshinori blinked up at you, a bit taken back by your sudden appearance. Your cloak flapped behind you as you walked towards the beast. “Hurting the old, villain? How rude of you.” You huffed.

'Geez, I don’t look THAT old, do I?’ Toshinori thought to himself as he blinked dully. ’…Nah, I do.’

“If they’re in my way, I AtTaCK!” He shouted, his tail going for another hit but you quickly dodge. “Just let me hit you, pretty girl! It’ll be quick, I swear..!”

You thought about it, rubbing at your chin. “Hm…I don’t think so! Don’t want to ruin this pretty girls face.” You winked before going to attack again, your leg doing a high kick to his face. You grabbed his tail, spinning yourself before throwing him in the air. “Mind your head!” You jumped into the air and did a low kick, his body slamming to the ground. “Never mind!” You grinned as you landed down - You looked over, taking the bag of money and passed it to the shopkeeper.

People ran over, thanking you, praising you - It made you a bit flustered. “Thank you, thank you, you’re all too kind..!” You smiled brightly. Your eyes drifted to Toshinori, the man forgetting he was lying there. “Oh, sorry, excuse me..!” You said as you walked past the crowd, quickly going over to check on him. “Sir, are you alright? Do you need any help?” You asked in a kindhearted voice.

“Ah, Thank you, but I’m fi-GHA!” He coughed up blood suddenly, noticing your surprised look.

'That is not fine!!!’ You screamed in your mind, suddenly panicked but you still gave a calming look. “No need to worry, I got you, fellow sir..!” You said.

“Wh-Ah!?” Toshinori suddenly gasped by your sudden lift, holding him in your arms. “Wait-There is no need to-!”

“Nonsense! You’re bleeding; you need help!” You said before running at full speed. You heard sirens, so you knew the beast would be handled - A man bleeding is first on the list! Toshinori felt like a child as you held him, but was still impressed by your strength.

You finally made it to the hospital, taking him inside, even when he kept telling you he’s okay. “I want you safe, sir. I’ll be dejected if I knew you were badly injured and coughing up blood isn’t a common thing.”

'It is for me..’ He thought. “It’s fine, seriously, it’s my condition I have - I was doing it before he attacked me” He tried to reassure you, but that made you look more worried.

“Th-That still isn’t good..!” You said. “Please, sir, do this for me..!”

He smiled down at you, like how caring you were. “Okay…I will.” He hated lying, but he did it to ease your worries.

“Thank you, kind sir. A nurse will be with you at any moment. I must return to the store; I need to inform the police on what happened.” You smiled, giving him a small wave. “I hope to see you again, sir! Sunshine has got your back!” You left the hospital, Toshinori smiling as you disappeared.

He saw a bit of himself in you - Maybe you were inspired by him, or you made your own passion. He was glad a hero like you was around.

“…Crap, I forgot my bag.”

~~~

Toshinori finally started his first day in U. A High and it seemed to be going well - even if he was mainly in the office. He would see Eraserhead, Present Mic and Midnight in the office as well, but it seemed they were talking about a new teacher.

“Seems our new little girl is a bit late” Nemuri purred out as she looked over the clock, a hand on her hip as she thought where the new girl was.

“A bit late? You mean an hour late.” Aizawa grunted out, not looking up from his paperwork at his desk.

Toshinori raised his head, his sunken eyes looking at the lewd woman. “Ah, A new teacher?” He questioned.

“Yes, she’s going to be learning history to the kids. Well, someday, whenever she comes in.” She chuckled as she flipped her hair behind her shoulder.

They heard the door slam open and heavy panting, all the teachers eyes flicked up, but Toshinori’s become widen. “I’m so sorry; I’m late! There was a giant octopus, and I had to help to stop it from hitting another building! Nezu already knows the situation! Forgive me!”

It was you - Sunshine!

You were still trying to catch your breath, placing a hand on your chest. He noticed your cape was a bit ruffled, your bare arms and thighs had red circle marks which he guessed the octopus got you.

“No need for worries, little miss! You’re lucky your first class doesn’t start for another fifteen minutes..!” Yamada said as he slides over to your side, giving you finger guns.

You let out a sigh of relief, a small smile appearing on your face. “Thank goodness, I was worried. Although the kids will question my scruffy appearance.” You said but shrugged it off, tapping the dust off your cape. Your eyes glanced up; the blonde man caught your eye. “Ah!”

Uh oh.

“It’s you, sir!” You beamed as you walked over. “I didn’t know you were a teacher here, what a coincidence!” You smiled brightly down at the older man. “I hope you’re feeling okay?”

“Oh! Ur, yeah, I’m fin-CUH!” He coughed up blood once again.

“THAT IS NOT FINE!” You screeched out. “So you weren’t lying before, huh!?” You frowned. “I’m sorry..!”

Toshinori waved his hands quickly in front of himself. “Oh no, don’t be sorry! You were helpful to me, no need for apologies!” He said immediately, not wanting you upset. “It’s something you didn’t know…Ur - I’m Yagi Toshinori, by the way. We never introduced each other properly.” He said, moving the talk away from him coughing up blood.

You looked down at him; a smile appeared on your face before shaking his hand. “I’m ______ _____..!”

You explained to the other teachers how you met, Toshinori seemed to lower himself more and more into his chair, a bit embarrassed when you mentioned you carried him to the hospital - The mention made Yamada and Nemuri hold back their laughter. All Might! The strongest man on Earth and the number one hero, being carried by a girl like a child and who was much smaller than him - The thought made Yamada choke on his laugh, quickly turning his body away to calm himself.

You were confused by their reactions, but you stopped when you realised you were going to be late for your class. “I need to go! Can’t keep the kids waiting!” You gave a quick wave before leaving the Office.

“I’m guessing she doesn’t know you’re All Might, correct?” Aizawa said as he side glanced at Toshinori.

“Ah, no…” He replied, rubbing the back of his neck. He might need to tell you one day since all the teachers knew about his identity, but you not knowing made him feel at ease. You seem to give him respect as a teacher and not as the number one hero.

‘Maybe later…’

~~~

For a strong Pro-Hero, who knows about history and seemed level headed, you also seem to be a bit oblivious and a klutz. You would get flustered when you make a mistake or trip upon nothing, but you always smiled about it - Nothing seemed to make you frown. You, of course, pouted by the teasing you got from the other teachers and even your students, but nothing made you truly upset.

Toshinori was sat on the lounge, letting out a soft sigh as he rubbed on his stiff neck, finally finished with the paperwork - Damn, he didn’t realise how much teachers got, must have been a pain. As he put together his paperwork and put it in his briefcase, he left the room only to have a lunchbox shoved in his face. “There you are Toshi!” You grinned up at him. “Want lunch together?”

“Ah-! You…You made me lunch?” He blinked surprised down at you, taken back by your sudden show and the fact that you made him lunch.

“Yes! I made too much this morning and thought of sharing it with you! I also notice you don’t eat much during work, so I thought of treating you.” You tilted your head to the side. “You’ve also finished your work, right?”

Toshinori had a feeling that no was not a choice in this matter.

So the next thing he knew, he was sat outside on a bench with you, opening the lid to see rice and chicken - It smelt so good; it nearly made him drool. He grabbed his chopsticks and took the first bite. “Mm-” He swallowed, noticing your eyes were nervously glancing over, hoping he would like it. “It’s Delicious…” He gave you a bright smile. “Thank you so much; I don’t deserve this wonderful meal.”

“…” Your eyes sparkled, looking like you might cry. “It’s nothing, Toshi! You deserve it, you work so hard, and you deserve a break once in a while!” You gave him a thumbs up, Toshinori letting out a chuckle by your positive words.

You never said anything negative about anyone, not even Aizawa, only saying he just needed more sleep because he looked like a tired raccoon. Yamada now started calling Aizawa a tired raccoon, which made him, wrap his binding cloth around his head to cover his mouth.

“You’re too kind to me, _____.” He hummed, both of you taking a few more bites. Damn, he needed that - He couldn’t have full meals because of his stomach, so he just had snacks, but your lunch had the right balance. “Ah…I haven’t been that stuffed in a while; I needed that.” He sighs as he closed his eyes.

“If you enjoyed it that much, I can make you another tomorrow and maybe the day after..!” You grinned. “As I said, I make so much, and I can’t eat all of it on my own.” You then leaned forward a bit. “Also having our meals together, we can talk more and more!” Toshinori opened his mouth to reply, but his phone started ringing.

‘A PHONE CALL IS HERE! A PHONE CALL IS HERE! A PHONE CA-’

He grabbed his phone quickly as he got up, noticing you holding back your laugh, your hand covering your mouth. “I need to take this..!” He said, a bit flustered by his ring tone, which was a first since the other teachers knew and he didn’t care about their reactions.

“O-Okay…” You snickered, finding this tall, skinny man so adorable. You thought he was an All Might fan since he had him as his ring tone, it amazed you. When he returned, you bit your lip as you smiled. “All Might, huh?”

“Ur - Yeah…Is that a problem?” He asked as he looked over your bright form. You never talked or mentioned All Might, even though someone has spoken about him at least once or all the time.

You rested you back against the bench as you thought about it. “No, nothing wrong having a ring tone of him. All Might…Is okay.”

Something inside him shattered. ‘Just…Okay!?’ He thought you didn’t notice his shaken form. ‘Not amazing, wonderful, handsome, just OKAY!?’

You quickly waved your hands. “Don’t get me wrong; I look up to All Might a lot! I think the brands and advertisements just put me off so much, like - I saw his head on a toilet brush, you don’t need to do that!” You said as you explained yourself. “That’s not his fault, though…He was the one that taught me to smile through everything!” You said as you looked up at Toshinori, You didn’t realise how close your faces were. “Through pain and danger, I will always smile! I want people to know everything will be okay!” You smiled, your voice filled with so much passion and love; it made Toshinori’s eyes sparkle. “So…Maybe I shouldn’t say he’s okay - I should say he’s the best person on Earth…But I don’t want to see his face on a brush again…” You said, nervously scratching your cheek.

“…Heh…” Toshinori snickered before he started to laugh out loud, you followed with your laughter, his large bony hand on your shoulder.

“GHA!”

“Holy Jesus, there is blood everywhere! PLEASE SEE A DOCTOR AGAIN, TOSHI!!!”

~~~

Another few weeks went by, and each day, he had a new lunch - If you missed him because you’re both busy, you just leave it at his desk. For doing this, you only wanted his company, sitting outside together and just chatted about school, life or your past. Toshinori didn’t have enough courage to let you know that he’s All Might - He liked the way you looked at him in this form and not his other. Maybe he was a desperate older man, but he thought you get flustered over small touches or when he compliments you - Maybe he was overthinking. The tall man had a soft spot for you; He wanted your sweet laugh, your small touches and your kind words, it made him putty.

One day it started to rain out of nowhere, getting the poor man soaked. “Damn it.” He sighs as he took off his wet jacket. “Thank god for the extra clothing at school.” He said to himself as he went to the office, seeing no one was around. Since he was alone, he might as well change here - He didn’t want to walk all the way downstairs just to turn and go back right back up to the office.

He took off his soaked white shirt, grabbing the spare to slip on. Before he could though, the door opened. “Hey, To-” You stopped, your eyes widen at the sight. Toshinori stopped as well as he looked over to your face, noticing your eyes were looking at the horrific scar on the side of his stomach, making him quickly cover it with his hand.

“_____, It’s not…” What could he say? ‘It’s not that bad’, ‘It’s nothing’, you won’t shrug it off. He swallowed the hard lump in his throat as his eyes drifted off to the side, still feeling your eyes on him. ‘She’ll probably leave, be disgusted by this. Fuck, who am I kidding? She has never seen me in that way…’ His mind swarmed with negative thoughts, but he suddenly felt a fresh touch, snapping out of his thoughts as he gasped.

You were in front of him, your hand on his scar but pulled away when he gasped. “S-Sorry! Does it hurt?” You asked quietly as you looked up at him.

“A-Ah, no, no - You just took me by surprise.” He replied. Toshinori couldn’t believe you were in front of him, you didn’t look disgusted nor sad, more like curious. He felt your hand on his scar once again, just gently laying your palm on the centre. Your touch was Soft. It made the taller man fluster. “Hah…” He let out a shaken breath as your fingertips ran along the lines of his scar, a shiver running up his spine.

It felt nice…Sweet. Goodness, he wanted more.

“How…How did you get this? It looks so painful.” You muttered, Toshinori realising how close you were, he could smell your shampoo, he wanted to run his fingers through your hair.

Fuck…

“It’s a long story, but…” He swallowed again. “_____, I have to tell you something. The other teachers know A-And I wasn’t hiding it from you because I don’t trust you! It’s just…I like the way you look at me…Like this…” His sunken eyes looked down at you, seeing the confusion on your face. “You don’t look at me like a popular guy like others. You see me, as…Me. Although the other side is me too…”

“Toshi, I don’t…I’m confused.” You muttered. His large hands placed on your shoulders to move you a foot away, seeing his form into-”A-All Might!?” Your eyes widen, the skinny man you knew - now turned into the number one hero. “W-What!? He’s All Might, Y-You’re All Might!? How, I-!” Your eyes swirled, entirely confused. “Oh god, I’m confused - You’ve always been All Might!? OH, GOD-!”

“Don’t freak out, I’ll tell you everything, just breathe..!” Even his vocals changed, having a mighty boom in his voice.

After you calmed down, he told you everything; The fight, the damage, what it did to his body and how he can only be All Might for only a few hours. You stood there, listening intently, taking it all in - Everything made sense, All of it! It saddened you to know he’s in so much pain.

“Toshi…You could have told me right away..” You muttered, looking up at him to smile. “I like you for you, silly, not your power or popularity. You’re still the big softy I know.” You let out a giggle, the muscle man melting by your sweet voice.

“_____…Your words mean a lot to me. Thank y-GH!” He coughed, turning back to his skinny self, blood spurting from his mouth.

“N-Now I know why you cough up blood so much.” You sigh, taking out a napkin to clean his mouth, buying a few for Toshinori last week. “Still…A hero or not, I want to help in any way I can. Even A number one hero needs help sometimes.” You said, lowering the napkin to look over his face. “So if you need me, call me, shout my name, and I’ll come running..!” You gave your heroic grin, making him smile.

“Thank you, _____. Urm…You can do me a favour; it’s a little embarrassing to ask…” He said as he scratched his cheek. “Can…I hold you?”

You were taken back by the request but smiled sweetly. “You never have to ask that from me, Toshi.” You said softly, going closer to pull him into a hug. Your arms wrapped around his waist, while he anxiously wrapped his around your neck, a substantial hand gently on your head. “Mm…”

Your head rested on his chest; your ear pressed up against him to hear his heart beating. He may be hurt, but he was alive, smiling when his heartbeat quickened. Toshinori felt your hand run along up and down his back slowly like you were comforting him; it made the poor man shiver. Your touch was warm and gentle; he felt overwhelmed. He hasn’t been touched like this in so long; he craved for it, he wanted nothing but your sweet touches. He didn’t think of it as sexual, just two people wanting comfort, some type of loving connection. He closed his eyes as you continued, nearing arching his back against your hand, making your bodies press closer together. “Sunshine…My ray of Sunshine.”

His deep voice made you blush, your heart skipping a beat by his words. It may have been your hero name, but he was saying it in a different light. His sighs as he felt your fingers rubbing up against his back, going higher to go through his hair. His breath shaken when you rubbed his head, your fingers going through the messy blonde hair. His head lowered until he was resting against yours, his eyes close but yours were widened. He enjoyed it; he craved it; he wanted nothing but your soft touches. You watched him get putty in your arms, the view making your heart beat faster. “…Tosh-”

You both heard the door, looking over to see Aizawa at the doorway, the gloomy man frozen on the stop. You both blushed, realising the situation - You were both pressed together, your arms tangled in an embrace and Toshinori being shirtless. “Sorry, I…I didn’t mean to intrude. You both can continue…” He said, in his dull voice, turning around to leave.

You both pulled away, waving your arms to get his attention. “No, no, this isn’t what it looks like!!!” You both said at the same time.

“It’s ‘exactly’ what it looks like.” He grunted before the door slammed shut.

You both stood there, flustered and quiet. Oh god, he thought you guys were about to have sex, that wasn’t good! Both of you were so caught up in the embrace, that you forgot that you were in the office, in a school for that matter.

“I…I should put my shirt on now.” “Y-Yes, and I’ll-! Urm…Go to class..! It’s early, but oh well!” You both laughed nervously, your bodies stiff as you went to your desk; Toshinori was putting on a dry shirt while you grabbed your papers. You both looked at each other, your cheeks still hot. “I-” You both stopped, letting out a nervous chuckle. “You go first.”

“No, you…” You replied.

“No, Y-”

“C-Can we do that again!?” You spit out; the man took back by your request. “I just-! Urm…I-It was nice and…You’re very cuddly. I liked it.” You smiled nervously, gripping on to your papers. “I understand if yo-”

“Yes.” He replied right away, his bright eyes staring into your soul. “I would love to, _____.”

“Oh…Great..!” You replied, relieved that he agreed. “Okay, Urm…I’ll sees you later, okay?” You gave a small wave before walking to the door, nearly running into it. “Shi-Damn, I-” You opened the door, letting out a nervous laugh before closing it.

“…” Toshinori squatted on the floor as he ran his fingers through his hair, his face red as he stared at the floor. ‘Oh god, oh god, oh god - That happened. Jesus Christ, I almost died from embarrassment, that woman will be the death of me…’ He thought in his head, steam coming out of his ears.

He heard the door slide open again. “Are you done with your sex?”

“WE WEREN’T HAVING SEX, SHOUTA!!!” He shouted as he splurted out blood.

~~~

After that awkward bump on the road, things seem to be going smoothly for you and Toshinori. You continued talking and eating lunch together, but it seemed to be more touchy. You would rest against each other while your fingers ran through his hair, the bony man letting out soft hums when your nails gently scraped against his scalp. You even invited him to your house to watch movies and cuddle, resting on his chest or his head resting on your lap while you played with his hair. The little affections were sweet, especially when your held hands, his thumb rubbing up and down your knuckles.

This made the other teachers a bit more curious about your ‘relationship’ - Nemuri wanted to know the juicy details; what was he like in the sack, did he punish you, did you tie him down to the bed, would you two just fuck each other raw. You denied it all; it was nothing like that! But the thoughts sadly came, and it made your face beat red, thanks Nemuri! Yamada would ask Toshinori the romantic questions; What was your first date like, was your first kiss passionate or rough, are you the romantic type, have you guys danced together, have you both said I love you. Toshinori denied it all as well, but embarrassed at the thought of taking you on a date, just having each others company. Aizawa didn’t bring up any questions nor said much on it, just a simple ‘If you guys are happy, then I am glad, but don’t bring that shit to school.’

The questions made you both think - It did seem like you were a couple, but you never kissed, nor gone on a date. Both of you were so busy with school and hero work that the closest thing you have done together was cuddle in bed. You guys loved it, but maybe it was time to the next level. Toshinori knew he wasn’t a young man anymore; he wanted a relationship, he wanted a house together, he wanted a family - But were you in the same mindset? He didn’t know that you were. You loved being a hero, you loved helping people, but you also wanted a life. You would see parents with their children, and it made you think of having your own kids and husband - But did Toshinori felt the same? You didn’t know that he was.

Weeks went by until one day, Toshinori was running to the hospital after he heard what happened.

A Building was on fire at night, and news reported that you went inside to rescue any civilians, even though you were practically quirk-less at night. You didn’t wait for reinforcements, you just ran in head first, but thanks to that you saved many lives. The news said everyone was going to the closest hospital, including yourself, since you were injured from the fire.

Toshinori panicked - What happened if you were trapped or severely injured, you wouldn’t have made it out. He just needed to see you, hold you, anything-damn it! He made it to the hospital and the desk told him which room you were in, his body practically shaking in the lift. And when he finally made it to your room, he saw you, his mass shooting towards you - He couldn’t hold himself any longer!

“To-Mm!” Your eyes widen, freezing on the spot when his lip met yours, his arm wrapped around you while the other held the back of your head so you wouldn’t pull away. It was passionate and even a desperate kiss, like he hasn’t seen you in years - You couldn’t help but kiss back. Your free hand ran through his messy hair, both of you pressed together in the sweet embrace. Toshinori felt like if he lets you go, you would fade away and wouldn’t come back. He needed you; he wanted you; he didn’t want to let go!

“E-Excuse me…” They heard a quiet voice say, both pulled away from the kiss to see the nurse looking a bit flustered. She was holding your arm, which she was still bandaging up. “May I continue, please?”

You giggled as Toshinori pulled away with a flustered face, rubbing the back of his neck. “Ah-I’m so sorry! Please, forgive me, ma’am..!” He was that one noted; he didn’t notice the nurse.

“It’s fine; I know the feeling. You must be happy to see your girlfriend is safe.” She hummed as she did the final touches.

“S-She’s not my-I mean-” He shuttered, wanting to hide.

The nurse gave him a wink. “I’ll give you two some alone time. Please rest, miss _____.” She said as she eased you on the bed before leaving.

“Thank you so much for your service, Miss.” You said kindly, giving a small nod. As the door shut, you gave Toshinori a slight grin. “I didn’t expect that from you, Toshi. You took me by surprise, you big flirt.”

“Ah-It wasn’t like that..! I mean…I just wanted to see you and when I did…My body couldn’t handle it.” He said, looking a bit anxious as he rubbed his neck again. “I…I needed to know you were real.” He then sat beside you, his large hand taking yours. “And I’m happy to know you’re safe…”

“Toshi…I’m fine. I burnt my arm, but it’ll heal, might leave a mark though.” You pouted, before glancing at his hand, his grip tightened. His mind swarmed with dark thoughts, but you cut it by kissing his cheek. “No need for that look, Toshi. I’m fine…”

“Yes, but…Your Quirk-”

“Quirk or not, I’m still a hero.” You said, your head gently resting on his. “Yes, it is hard without a quirk. I ignore doing anything at night, but…I couldn’t just stand there and watch a building burn full of people. I…I had to do something, Toshi.” You closed your eyes, biting your bottom lip, trying to hold yourself. “If I didn’t…A lot of people would have suffered. My body just carried me, running inside and help them people. I-I kept smiling…I kept pushing myself.”

His arms wrapped around you, leaning your head towards his shoulder. “…You must have been scared, _____…Knowing that if anything bad happened, you…” He sighs. “Never mind. It’s over now, and you did so well…You saved families, My Sunshine. I’m so proud of you.” His words overwhelmed you, gripping his shirt as you suddenly sobbed into his shoulder. “Shh…Shh…I got you now, Sunshine. Just let it out.” And so you did, holding onto Toshinori as you cried in his arms.

But now, you call him your boyfriend.

~~~

After the hospital, both of you were becoming much cuddlier, like two teens in their first relationship. You continued to eat together, but Toshinori would quickly steal a kiss from you before anyone noticed, your face becoming flustered as you stuffed your face with food to distract yourself. You loved this side of him, kindhearted and sweet, even a bit of a flirt when he wanted to.

You finally went on your first date, and it was awkward at first, but when you walked through the park together and kicked off your heels, it went smoothly - Toshinori even gave you his jacket when he thought you were cold. You can cut ice easily with how adorable the two of you were. Even the teachers noticed how bright the two of you were together; they could practically see the hearts and sparkles coming out from both of you. Yamada nearly sobbed, wanting what you two have.

“Geez, it has to rain suddenly again!” You whined as you and Toshinori ran to his place. “They said today was going to be sunny, them lying bastards..!”

“Hah, true - Let’s just get inside quickly before we get completely soaked!”

“Too late, Toshi!”

You both went inside, peeling off your coats and hung them up, sliding off your shoes after. As you both went inside, Toshinori went to get some towels for you both. “Here, get yourself dried up.” He said, a towel resting on his head, making you smile before ruffling your hair with the soft wool. “Give me a second.” He disappeared once again, returning with some dry clothes. “Here, you should take these so that you won’t be walking around in wet clothes.”

“Ah-Thank you, Toshi.” You said as you took them from his hands, the tall man pointing where his bathroom was for you to change. He went to his bedroom, sliding off his clothes to slip on a loose t-shirt and pants, just casual wear. As he left his bedroom, he turned when he heard you. “Thank you again for your clothes, but your pants couldn’t fit me.”

His eyes widen, looking over your smaller form - Wearing nothing but his buttoned-up shirt which was resting on your mid-thigh. He could have sworn his heart stopped, seeing your bare legs. “Ah…” He knew your outfit showed your thighs, but this was different, you wore long boots and socks to cover your legs. They looked beautiful, your thighs lightly pressing together. ‘I want to grab them so badly…’ He thought, his eyes darken by the thought. ‘I want to dig my fingernails into her flesh until she-’

“T-Toshi…” He snapped out of it by your voice, seeing you looked nervous by his silent stare. “I’m sorry, I’ll put back on my-”

“No, don’t-It’s fine..!” He said quickly as he put his hands up. ‘You perverted old man, what were you thinking!? It’s inappropriate to stare’ He mentally slapped himself, not wanting you to be uncomfortable. “I’m sorry, F-Forgive me-” He swallowed, taking your wet clothes to put them in the wash with his own.

As he did this, you sat on the couch, feeling so exposed wearing this, but what else could you wear? The way he stared at you, it was like he was about to pounce on you. The thought made you shiver, your cheeks heating up. ‘Stop it, you fool! Stop thinking of such lewd things!’ You thought to yourself.

“Here…” You blinked when you felt a weight on your shoulders. “This blanket is to keep you warm. I bet you’re freezing.” You nod your head, watching Toshinori sitting beside you and turned on the TV. You held the blanket close as you sat beside him, covering the blush on your cheeks. He wrapped one arm around you to pull you close, gently rubbing your shoulder to ease your stiff muscles.

He may have been a bony man, but he was still comfortable to rest against, loving when you heard his heartbeat against his chest. “Mm…” Your eyes were not on the TV, your eyes placed at his chest, your fingers gently running along his collar bone - his body stiffens by the touch, his grip lightly squeezed you. “Toshi…Aren’t you cold too?” You asked, but before he could reply, you already wrapped the blanket around each other.

The hero felt you cuddle up to him close, his heart beating into his ribs faster. ‘We’ve done this so many times, why is it now so intense’He thought, his eyes glancing down at you, your breasts pressed up against his side, and your thighs pressed together, making the poor boy stiff. 'Oh goodness, she is so sexy, I’m might pass out..!’ His eyes swirled, holding you close to his body. “_____…”

You looked up him, your whole face heated while your hands gripped his shirt. “Toshi…” You bit the inside of you lip, pushing yourself. 'Stop being so shy!’ You moved your body up, the man’s eyes slightly widen as you sat on his lap, your thighs resting on either side of him. “I…Urm…I want to…” You shuttered, frowning that you were too nervous to say it, so you just pulled him into a kiss, hoping he gets the hint.

He was prepossessing your words and actions, as he let you continue, his hands gently placed on your hips as he kissed back, letting out a pleasing hum. “Mm…” You both relaxed into the kiss, your arms going around his neck to make the kiss deeper, his fingers gently squeezing your soft hips. He loved every part about you; he wanted to touch and kiss every part while saying loving things in your ear; he wanted you to know how special you were to him. He bit your bottom lip, hoping you got the hint. You did, kissing again while your tongues brushed against each other, Toshinori feeling your hips pressed down on him.

‘Is that what you want, little Sunshine? I’ll give it to you…I’ll give you everything.’ He thought, his hand slowly sliding down to cup your ass, letting out a small squeak which made him chuckle against your lips. Fuck, your skin felt so smooth and soft, squeezing your ass as he grinds you down onto him. Your fingers held onto his hair, moaning into the kiss as you felt his semi-hard on rubbing against your clothed cunt. “Hah…” You both pulled away for air, his eyes looking at your adorable face, a low growl leaving his lips. “You want me, _____?” Your voice was lost, so all you did was nod, a smile appearing on his face. “I’m glad…I’ve wanted you for so long, I practically ached…” He grunted, his voice rugged and deep, it made a shiver run down your spine.

“Toshi…” You took his hands, leading them to the buttons of the shirt, The skinny man giving you a ‘are you sure?’ look. “P-Please…I…I want you too.” He nods his head as a reply, his long fingers unbuttoning the shirt - Your breasts peeking out, your stomach and finally, your underwear. He let out a shaken sigh as he parted the shirt; your whole body is shown to him. He let out a quiet ‘fuck’; a small smile appeared on your face. “Like what you see?”

“Yes…God, yes, you’re breathtaking…” He breathed out, his thumbs rubbing your hip bones. “Gorgeous, beautiful…Sexy as hell.” His sunken eyes looked up at you, a grin sliding on his face. “Are you a villain? Trying to get me weak on the knees until I’m under your power?”

You giggled. “Maybe…” You purred, your hands grabbing his shirt to slip it off. “Although, your All-mighty body is getting me weaker…” He laughed, the aura around you both seemed to be less tense. Your hand gently ran down his body, your fingertips smoothly running against the scar, Toshinori groaning - Already putty under your touch. He has fought so many villains throughout his years, but he has never been this weak from simple touches. Your hand stopped on his pants; your eyes flicked up to his face as your fingers teasingly rubbed the edge. “May I?”

“Y-Yeah…” He breathed out, his face flustered as you grabbed his pants, sliding them down to his mid-thigh with his boxers, his cock hit against his stomach. Your eyes looked at his throbbing masterpiece in awe, seeing it twitch, making your lower stomach burn. Toshinori rested his head back, his arm covering his eyes so he wouldn’t be able to see you, he was too nervous to. “D…Don’t stare.” He grunted out, his breath shaken.

“S-Sorry, I just…It’s so big.” He chocked on a gasp, feeling your hand wrapped around his shaft, giving him a few slow pumps. “So hot…My hand might melt.” You swallowed your saliva, trying to not drool so much on how good he looked. He was a flustered mess on the couch already, you wanting nothing but to ride him, but you held yourself. “Is this good? I’m not the best…I-I don’t do this often…” You weakly chuckled.

“N-No, no, it’s good…Hah…So good. Mmm…Your hand is so soft.” He groaned out, still not looking at you or your hand. Your thumb slowly rubbed the sensitive tip, making his hip jolt up. “Ah-I…Oh, god.” He moaned, gritting his teeth as your hand gently squeezed his shaft, your hand going faster.

“Toshi…Please look.” You moved his arm away from his face, loving how handsome and cute he looked - His eyes were hazed with lust and his cheeks so flustered, you couldn’t look away. You tilted his head to look down, watching your hand pump his shaft. “You are so amazing…I can’t keep my eyes off you.” You breathed out, Toshinori letting shaken moans and breaths, his eyes were practically heart-shaped. “Do you like me doing this to you?”

“Yes…Yes, yes, all of it.” He groaned, bucking into your hand. “I-If you keep pumping me quickly, I’ll…Ah-I’ll come.” His fingers gripped onto your thighs, teasingly grazing your underwear. “Not yet…I-I…I want to be inside you.” Fuck, he did - He won’t be able to hold himself any longer. “Let me please you…”

You stopped, nodding your head. “O-Okay…” You got off him, the tall man already missing the closeness, watching you rest back on the couch. You nervously opened your legs for him as he crawled over, seeing your underwear was soaked. Were you that excited from touching him? Shit…

“Can I, _____?” He asked politely, his hands reaching for your underwear. You nod your head, letting out a weak ‘Y-Yeah’, his hands sliding them down until they were completely off. “Fuck-” He gasped, his bright blue eyes staring between your legs. “You’re beautiful…Stunning. I am a lucky man to have you…”

“S-Same for you, Toshi…” You breathed out, a weak smile spread on your face. “Ah-” You blushed, feeling his thumb spread your pussy lips, leaning down to get a closer look. “D-Don’t; it’s so embarrassing…”

He chuckled. “How is it? I’m looking at the most beautiful thing…You’re soaking for me, darling.” He groaned. “I just…Want to…” His tongue ran up your slit, a small whimper leaving your lips. “Fuck…I can’t-I…You taste so good.” Like a wild animal loose from its cage, his lips attacked your pussy, his tongue running up and down your slit to taste your juices.

“T-Toshi-!” You gasped, your fingers running through his hair, keeping your legs open as he continued to eat you out. Oh god, oh god, he snapped! His tongue would sometimes slip inside you, before pulling out to lick and suck at your pussy lips. “F-Fuck, oh fuck..!” You bucked into his face but felt his hand hold you down, keeping you in place as he tongue fucked you. “Nnn…!” Your headshot back, letting out whimpers and moans as he continued. But he turned it up, as his mouth moved up to suck on your clit. “F-Fuck! Oh god, Toshi…You’re so good.” You moaned out, gripping onto his hair.

“Fuck, darling…” He groaned against you, continue to suck at your clit. He loved how you thrived underneath him, your hands gripping onto his hair as you moaned out his name like a prayer.

“Toshi…Nnh-A…All Might…!” Toshinori stopped, pulling away from your legs, his full-blown eyes staring down at you - practically glowing.

“…What did you say?”

“…All…All Might?” You muttered, having no idea if he liked being called that or not. But when he smirked, you knew he loved it. He grabbed you, resting you on his lap, grabbing his own cock to tease it against your pussy. “Mmm…”

“Are you ready for me? My ray of Sunshine.” He groaned out, his hand gripping your thigh, wanting nothing but to pound you into the couch but he held himself for you.

“Yes…Ah, yes.” You moaned out, bucking your hips that his tip went right against your entrance. He grabbed your hips, slowly lower yourself until you were in. “F-Fuck…You filled me up. Oooh, Toshi..!” You sigh, grinding against him to get used to his size.

“Ah…_-_____. You feel…Mm-Remarkable.” He felt your walls squeeze him just a bit; his tip feeling so sensitive inside you; the pleasure was pure bliss. “Mmm…Please move. I’m dying here…”

You giggled by his begging, raising your hips before lowering them back down, both of you making a small moan. You would raise your hips slowly, but then slammed down quickly, the only thing heard in the room was each others moaning and skin slapping against skin. “I-Is that good, hah-Toshi?” You purred, holding onto his shoulders as you moved.

“Ngh-Yes…Ah…! Your…Pussy feels so good.” It was the first time hearing him use that word, and you loved it. He leaned over you to kiss and nibble your neck down to your shoulder like it was his very own canvas. He wanted to leave his marks on you, knowing you were his, knowing you were real. All of this felt like a hazy dream to him - Just knowing you still wanted him after all this time amazed him, but he loved it.

He loved you.

“Oh god, Toshi…” You felt every curve and vein of his cock, loving how it hit every spot inside you, his tip hitting just right in your womb. The fantastic feeling made you speed up the pace, your ass now slapping against his skinny thighs. “Mmm…Yes, yes, yes…! You feel amazing, T-Toshi.” You moaned, before leaning forward. “Or should I say…All Might?” You purred in his ear, feeling his body stiffen for a second. “Mnn…I love how All Might is hitting every right spot inside me…I’m so lucky to have you…My All Might.”

He growled low; his eyes seemed to brighten even more - He grabbed your arms, you stopped to look up at him, a wide smirk on his lips. “Again…Repeat it…” Steam now seeped out of his body, his body increasing in size and muscle.

“Tos-AH!” Your eyes widen, his cock increasing in size also - How is that possible, oh god, it was stretching you to your limit. “NNH!!!” Tears started to form in your eyes, biting your lip when he stopped growing. Now his big, muscly body was underneath you, the smirk on his face was still there. He now grabbed your arms and slammed your whole body down, crying out as his cock was so deep - You saw nothing but white.

“Come on, Sunshine, you can take a few inches more..!” His bright heroic voice come out, pretty much using your body as his very own flashlight. As he slammed your whole body down, his hips would thrust up, nothing but pound after pound inside you. “Now…Call for me. Call. For. Me..!” He growled out.

Your mind wasn’t thinking straight, only crying and moaning out, your words already slurred and made no sense. “I-I-Nuh! A-All-Ah!” It was too much, you were past your limit, you think you already came, but you weren’t sure.

It was…It was…Incredible!

No one has made you feel this good; it was inhuman! Oh god - you saw stars, you saw Jesus himself, No, you saw Aizawa and Yamada as angels above you. You were fucking losing it! “L-Lord! Oh! Fuck! A-Ahh! A-All Might! All Might!” Your walls were clamping down on his thick cock, Toshinori groaning below you.

“D-Damn, you are pulling me in, aren’t you?” He groaned out, watching your body beg for him, your breasts bouncing with each thrust he made, your eyes rolling at the back of your head - You could barely breathe since he did nothing but fuck the shit out of you, you didn’t have time for a break. But if he ever stopped for a second, you would just beg for him to continue, you would just die on the spot. “Sunshine…My Sunshine…!, Ah! Damn, you feel S-So fucking good! Ngh!” He watched his cock thrust into you, seeing how soaking wet you were, it was all over his cock and balls - it made it easier for him to slip inside. “heh, I bet you’ve come for me, maybe even twice?” He chuckled. “You want to come again? I’ll…Ng-Join you. Would you like that?”

You just kept moaning and crying for him, gasping for air, amazed that his speed increased. “Y-Y-Yeah! Y-You’re Ah splitting M-Me in two!” You shuttered out. “Y-You’re going to kill Me-Me while fucking me, out of M-My god damn M-M-Mind!” You cried, tears running down your face. Toshinori did nothing but laugh, stopped by a loud groan, feeling his balls tightening up. “Y-Yes! C-Come, Come In-Inside me! All Might! Ah!”

“As you wish, _____..!” He continued to pound into you until you were close to your climax. “H-Holy shit!” He roars, feeling you and himself at a climax. “_____! Ah, Sunshine!” He gave one hard slammed down, his cum shooting inside you like a gunshot. "Ngh!"

“AHH!” You screamed out your climax, your mind going blank. Oh fuck, oh god, his hot cum was filling you up - There was so much, it started leaking out of your pussy.

He bucked into you gently as his climaxed eased down, his cum spilling out more. “Ah…Hah…” He rested his head back as he panted heavily, sweat going down his tired body. The fog in his mind started to fade away, making him think more clearly. “_…____…Are you o-” He froze as he looked at you, seeing you limp, your eyes nothing but white. “_____? _____…!” He gently shook you, his skin going pale before spitting out blood as he changed back to his skinny form. “Oh god, I killed her with sex!!!”

“N…No….May…be…” You mumbled, your body falling on his, too tired and sore to move. “Th-that…”

“Oh no, oh no, I should have controlled myself..! I’m so, so sorry!” He held your body close, gently rubbing your back, feeling you shaking. “I wanted to make love to you…B-But my mind went blank and turned into a beast. Forgive me…I’m a terrible person…” He muttered, his sunken eyes looking over you.

You pulled away a bit to look over his worried face, before giving him a peck on the lips. “C-Can…Can we…Do that again?”

“Eh?”

~~~

Another working day in U. A High, you and Toshinori at your desks, but you twitched when you felt eyes staring at you. “N…Nemuri? You okay?” You asked as you looked over at her, seeing her intense eyes looking over your body and face.

“…You had sex, didn’t you?” She said simply, Toshinori choking on his hot tea as you blushed. “I can see it all over you; you’re practically glowing with sex!”

“Yo ho ho! Way to go, my man!” Yamada gave a bro bump on his shoulder, Toshinori just shaking at his desk, the tea still pouring out of his mouth.

“Finally…” Aizawa grunted out, his eyes on his paperwork.

“Oh yes, let’s celebrate after work!”

“W-What!? No, Nemuri!”

“Hell Yeaaah, Let’s do it, superstars!”

“W-W-Wait-Gha!”

“I’ll be in my sleeping bag.”

THE END!

#my bad if its rusty - I tried but I find it cuuute!#animekath #bnha #all might #reader #my hero acadamy #yagi toshinori #yagi toshinori x reader #all might x reader #bnha x reader #nsft #aizawa shouta #hizashi yamada #nemuri kayama #mha

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ms-demeanor · 5 years

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After reading your "ultra-long postivity post", now I have kind of a weird feeling because i relate a lot to pretty much everything you said, but i ended up approaching the "not everyone can x" from the opposite side, being the "gifted kid" teachers used to hold everyone to unrealistic standards (that i knew most couldnt achieve in the given timeframes), and now i get frustrated when i dont develop skills immediately, because i have done it before and feel like i should be able to and aaaaaaaaaa

Funny story: when I was a kid my parents had both my sister and I tested for learning and developmental disabilities. This testing included IQ testing.

It identified that we were both “gifted” kids* and that I’m dyslexic.

It totally missed my ADHD, though!

The problem with that is that my parents. Hm.

Okay my parents both grew up in very poor families. VERY poor. And they both wanted to go to college and knew the only way that they could was through scholarships. So they became debaters. They met at a tournament in high school.

Debaters are weird. You need an efficient working memory and strong recall and the ability to think quickly on your feet. Being witty and kind of an asshole are also good traits for debaters. Basically you’ve either gotta be really fuck-off smart to be a competitive debater or you’ve gotta at least *seem* really fuck-off smart.

And my parents were champion debaters at a national level. The Whittier College debate trophy has my mom’s name written directly under Richard goddamn Nixon. My dad was on the USC debate team and competed against Harvard and won. Not only that but he ended up coaching debate for USC and Cal Tech.

So as kids who grew up in extremely poor families and were able to go to college and get middle-class jobs and buy a house because of intellectual ability my parents placed A LOT of importance on intellectual ability.

So that IQ score became a large part of my life.

First we attacked the dyslexia. The approach was basically teaching me a bunch of sight words because sounding out phonics doesn’t work when the letters get screwed up. And because I was *gifted* we did a lot of really BIG sight words.

It took about six months to get me up to speed from “memorizing the pages of a story to match the pictures because I couldn’t read along in class” to “the first book I read on my own was The Hobbit.” I guess that counted as “cured” because that was the last time I got any kind of educational assistance.

At that time I was at a gifted school, a really tiny private school that was also an after-school daycare where we did full-day classes and then did gymnastics and swim from 3-6pm. I also was there over the summer because my parents worked.

So going from “tiny private school where the teacher has you stand up in class to read your failing grade in front of everyone so that she could shame you into performing better” to “fine public school in a suburb wealthy enough to have arts programs” was a major, major change. They did an aptitude test because I was transferring in from a different district and there was much discussion about whether or not to move me directly from the second to the sixth grade.

The district refused, thank fuck.

The public elementary school didn’t *have* a gifted program so it took very little time for me to become the Certified Weird Kid. My third grade teacher had me read aloud to our class for twenty minutes a day. I taught the class the multiplication table.

When it got to be time to go to the junior high school my mom went to a meeting for the school’s gifted kids program. APPARENTLY one of the kid’s dad’s basically said “I don’t understand why you’re wasting school funds on field trips for the stupid kids, the school should spend more of its resources on kids who have a chance of actually meaning something to the world” and my mom decided that while being gifted was important it was less important than making sure I wasn’t exposed to assholes of that caliber on a regular basis.

(thanks mom, I actually do really appreciate that reprieve)

Several teachers pushed me into advanced classes - my math teacher insisted that I take the advanced algebra classes in the seventh and eighth grade.

The GATE kids *WERE* assholes and were extra bonus special assholes to me because math was the only advanced class that I was in. (At my junior high school you had to pick your elective based on what level of classes you were in - to take the GATE classes you HAD to take a music elective; if you took art, drama, shop, or home ec you couldn’t take the smart kid classes. The algebra class was a new, separate addition to the program so *some* of the kids in the “electives for dropouts” program could take algebra. Schools are really fucked up, guys, in case you didn’t know schools are really fucked up and that was BEFORE No Child Left Behind).

I got a C in that algebra class and sat in my room for literally an hour screaming at myself for being such a selfish, distracted idiot that I let myself read my books instead of studying harder for the class. (clearly very healthy, normal twelve-year-old behavior)

When it was time to go to high school my teachers made a united plea to the district to transfer me into honors/IB/AP classes.

The kids in the honors/IB/AP classes continued to be kind of awful to me. I got extremely depressed and basically started doing the lazy-but-brilliant thing of completely ignoring homework or in-class work but performing spectacularly well on tests or essays in the classes that I wasn’t catastrophically failing

I was the only person at the school who got a perfect score on the vocab part of my SAT. I was the only honors kid who hadn’t been in SAT prep classes. There was only one other kid who graduated with the same number of units as I had, we’d outstripped the valedictorian and salutatorian but three classes each. I only applied to one college - I got accepted for painting but my interviewer urged me to move to the writing program and I got accepted for that too.

My financial aid didn’t come through and my dad wasn’t willing to cosign for loans on “an art program at a trade school.”

I got accepted to Pratt Institute on their Writing for Publication track which included an internship with the New York Times for third-year students in the program.

At that point I had a Columbia Scholastic Press award for my work on my high school yearbook.

Let me tell you, the community college that I went to and spent five years variously failing and succeeding at had a fucking *killer* newspaper and magazine when I was there. The local community newspaper that hired me when I was 21 was also much better designed and edited than it had any right to be for the three years I worked there (getting paid a whole eight dollars an hour and sometimes working 20 hours straight to get it in to the printer on time).

When I transferred to the state school I got perfect grades and worked full time and won every contest offered by the school’s English Honors society (which I couldn’t join because I was a transfer student and hadn’t done honors classes my freshman and sophomore years). I started a literary magazine with some friends when I graduated; we published four full issues online before it fell apart.

You know what’s also funny?

Even the food-service job I had to pay my way though the community college I felt terrible about attending was a skills test. I was a barista, so of course for a while I was a competitive barista.

I disappointed my parents a lot. I heard a lot of “we know you’re better than this.” I got told I was too smart to be screwing up this bad. I mentioned it a couple weeks ago but my results from that IQ test got compared to my sister’s and that was the justification for holding me to a higher standard. “You’re measurably brilliant, why aren’t you acting like it?”

Here lies the corpse of a gifted kid. Look on my works ye might and despair.

I am the perfect picture of a twice exceptional gifted kid and the reason I wrote all of this out is to tell you one thing:

“Gifted Kid” is a label that someone applied to you, it has nothing to do with who and what you ARE.

It’s very, very unfair that the adults in your life used you that way. I have an exceptionally terrible memory of being singled out as the only one who passed the first test in my IB World History class; “Why is Alli the only one of all of you who is writing at grade level? You’re supposed to be the smartest kids in the school, why did you all fail?”

That’s awful for the kids around you, that’s awful for you. It doesn’t do anybody any favors if people around you are being informed that you’re setting the curve they’ll be judged against. And it really, really doesn’t do YOU any favors because it doesn’t take long *at all* for your brain to learn that that’s all you’re good for. If you aren’t the best at a thing then what’s the point, you HAVE to be best because they already SAID you were best and if you aren’t then all these other people hate you for setting a standard that even you can’t keep up with.

You end up competing with past versions of yourself and focusing on those things that make the grownups in your life praise you because the grownups in your life has praised you in such a way that it’s turned all the other kids against you.

You know who bullied the fuck out of me? The kids I taught the times tables to, the kids I read to for half an hour a day.

Those kids were MEAN to me but the teacher who told me to read Boxcar Kids to the class after lunch everyday was NICE and she told me not to worry, they were just jealous and I should be proud of my gifts.

“Anon did this in three minutes. What’s taking the rest of you so long?” - what a terrible weight to put on a child. You’re right. Not everyone can do everything.

Fucking hell.

Adults what the everloving shit is wrong with us? Please don’t treat kids like that.

Okay.

But here’s the other thing:

If there’s any time in your life that it’s easy to acquire skills with no apparent effort it’s when you’re a child surrounded by a support system that is engaged in making sure that you can acquire those skills.

It took three adults, two dictionaries, and several hours a day to teach me enough sight-words to throw me into “look at baby genius*” territory but from my perspective as a little kid I was just reading cool stories.

I spent four hours a day in the yearbook room and ditched and failed other classes so that I could work on the yearbook. I collected hundreds of magazines to get an eye for layout. But from my perspective as a teenager it was a fun activity that I did with the closest thing I had to friends.

I’m sure that there are some skills that you had a natural aptitude for, some things that came naturally. But I’m also sure that you didn’t learn those skills with no effort, it’s just that now as an adult with a life and other shit going on it takes more effort to learn to do things.

In all likelihood you weren’t a savant who did everything perfectly the first time you tried. It just seems that way because even really smart kids don’t know when they’re bad at things and are mostly being compared against other kids (with the few rare exceptions of music prodigies or math prodigies or those kids who end up in science grad programs at 12 and boy howdy do I think there’s a whole other can of worms when it comes to the way child prodigies* interact with the world).

You wanna know what probably saved my life in the last few years?

That “anti-capitalist love notes” tumblr post.

You are worth more than your productivity.

I was actually kind of offended the first time I saw that post on my dash. “No I’m not,” I thought. “You’re only worth what you can do, everyone knows that. People care about what you do for them.”

And why the hell would I think anything else? That’s what I’d learned for pretty much my whole life.

It took me a really long time to understand that I was wrong. I matter outside of what I can do for people or how well I perform. I matter more than being able to perfectly recite poetry from memory or do calculations on command or sit down at a piano and play a piece I’ve never played by sight-reading it.

And you matter outside of that too. You’re more than your performance, you’re better than being gifted. There are people who love you for the way you make them laugh and how you listen to their stories and for the simple joy of your presence.

It’s nice to be clever, it’s handy in a lot of situations even if it does come with a lot of baggage for some people.

But god damn, it’s important to be kind.

* Personally I have issues with the way that society constructs the concepts of giftedness, genius, and prodigies. There are a lot of “gifted” kids who were the kids who scored in the top 5% of their class in school but there are also gifted kids who were doing high-level math or reading novels as toddlers; there are prodigies who showed an aptitude for music young and who were then schooled in that instrument to the exclusion of all other activities (and I bet there are a fair number of kids who might be considered prodigies if they were trained to play flute for nine hours a day and didn’t have friends but thankfully we don’t *do* that to very many people - side note, ask me my opinion about olympic athletes some time). Words like “genius” and “gifted” are very nearly meaningless and almost *never* accurately reflect skills proficiency or long-term success or are reflected in income or respect. People think that geniuses are hypercompetent robots with their shit together but literally every adult I know with a genius-level IQ is some variety or other of total fucking tire fire.

#congratulations you have unlocked level two of my tragic backstory #long post

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rewrite-the-wrongs · 5 years

Text

introductions / howdy, pardner

My first short story was about a fishboy and his human best friend. They battled a mutant piranha (whose name I think may have been Mutant Piranha, such was the monumental daring of my creative endeavor) and his army, who were out to destroy a mountain that held a whole planet together. The boys won singlehandedly, because scale was apparently a bit of a mystery to me.

This was the second grade. My teacher--who held me every day as I cried for weeks, confused and miserable and stranded in the throes of my parents’ divorce--understood before I did that I create to a ploddingly slow and steady drumbeat. A sentence is always so much more in my head than I’m able to let out, at first; I have to pore over it again and again, fleshing and flourishing (and often correcting) it, the same way I often have to reread paragraphs or pages or whole books to truly capture their meaning. In a word processor, this back-and-forth is as easily said as it is done; on double-wide ruled paper with dashed-line handwriting guides, the task is magnitudes more time-consuming, especially for somebody as messy as I am. So, while nearly everybody else played at recess on the sandlot and the jungle gym around us, a select few stragglers laid our reading folders on our laps and finished our stories.

My villain, that dastardly Mutant Piranha, found himself in prison at the story’s close. Awaiting trial, I guess; I never ventured that far ahead, seeing the big fishy bastard for a coward. “When no one was looking, he stabbed himself.” That’s the last line, stuck in my memory, not for its own sake, but for my poor teacher’s horrified face as she read my final draft there on the playground.

A mom volunteered to type up the class’ stories and get them printed and bound. For years afterward I reread that collection, always proud to have written the second-longest piece therein. I felt the weight of the pages, inhaled the tiny but acrid breeze that came from rapidly leafing through them. Knew it was a whole smattering of worlds inside, that one of those worlds was wholly mine, and I had the power to show it to people however I wished. Yes, I thought, I want this.

I’ve been introduced to writing many times over, by many people. Don’t get me wrong--I nightowled the first several chapters to many half-baked novel concepts all through my youth. But teachers have a way of showing a thing to you from new angles.

The first person to impact me as such was a high school teacher who was essentially given carte-blanche to construct a creative writing workshop in the English curriculum. The first semester was structured--you practiced poems, short fiction, humor and essay writing, drama, the gamut. Every semester after, the carte-blanche was passed on: A single assignment due a week, each a single draft of a poem or a minimum of two pages’ worth of prose. Forty-five minutes a day to work, and of course free time at home. By the time I graduated, I’d finagled my schedule such that I was spending two periods a day in the computer lab, and several hours after school every day working the literary arts magazine before I went home to get the rest of my homework out of the way and write some more..

My next big influence came in the form of a pair of writers who taught fiction at my university, a married couple. One had me print stories and literally, physically cut them up section-by-section as a method of reworking chronologies. Told me stories happened like engines or clocks or programs--pieces that meshed differently depending on how they were put together, rules that held each other in place. The other showed boundless confidence in me, listened happily to some older students who recommended I be brought on board for a national arts mag. They both encouraged me toward grad school, but toward the end of my junior year I began to stumble, and by senior year I was, to be frank, a drunken asshole. Time I could be bothered to set aside for writing began to dwindle. I limped through the editorship with the help of my extremely talented, utterly more-than-worthy successor--and come to think of it, I’ve never truly thanked her. Maybe I’ll send her that message, now that I’m feeling more myself.

On feeling more myself:

That drunken rage was brought on by a myriad list of factors, the primary ones being 1) I am the child of recovering alcoholics, and our inherited family trauma runs deep, 2) An assault that will likely be mentioned no further from hereon in, as I have reached a solid level of catharsis about it, 3) Some toxic-ass relationship issues, and 4) I was a massive egg and had no idea (or, really, I had some idea, just not the language or understanding or even the proper empathy to eloquently and effectively explore it).

I had a recent relapse with drinking, technically--a mimosa at Christmas breakfast at my partner’s parents’ home--but I’m not honestly sure I can call it a legitimate relapse. I’m not in any official self-help group, I’ve never engaged in the twelve steps or a professional rehabilitation. I had a very wonderful therapist for a few years but reached a point at which I could not pay her any longer and we parted ways--I miss her dearly, as she truly became my friend and confidante; she was the first person I came out to, and very well-equipped to handle it, lucky for me--but I’m still on behavioral medication. That tiny smidgen of alcohol pushed my antidepressants right out of my brain, and I became terribly anxious and angry and sad all at once, and briefly lashed out during a conversation with my partner behind closed doors. Not nearly the lashing out I’ve released in the now-distant past--more on that maybe-never, but who knows, as I am obviously a chronic over-sharer.

Frankly, I don’t deserve my partner. She endured my past abuses, told me to my face I had to be better, and found it in herself to wait for me to grow. She’s endlessly and tirelessly supportive of me. She sat with me to help me maintain the nerve to start this blog tonight. I came out to her as a trans woman just under a year ago, now, and I’m happier than ever, and we communicate better than ever. Our relationship is, bar-none, the healthiest and stablest and happiest I’ve ever been in.

So, naturally, I apologized fairly quickly at Christmas, and continuing where I’d left off at two and a half years, decided I’m still solid without booze.

If we’re all being honest, though (and I’m doing my best to be one hundred percent honest, here, though I will absolutely be censoring names because no shit), I still smoke way too much fuckin’ weed. High as balls, right now. 420 blaze it, all day erryday, bruh. That self-medicated ADHD life. I should be on Adderall and not antidepressants, probably, but it’s been a while since an appointment and psychiatrists are expensive, so I’m at where I’m at for now. Sativas help a lot. It helps with the dysphoria, too.

I don’t have a legal diagnosis for gender dysphoria, but tell that to my extreme urge to both be in and have a vagina. I’m making little changes--my hair, an outfit at a time, no longer policing how I walk or run or how much emphasis I put on S sounds. If I manage to come out to my parents sometime soon--and it feels like that moment is closer every day--maybe I’ll tell y’all my real, full chosen name. For right now, call me Easy.

Anyhow. My goals here are pretty simple:

1) Share words, both those by people I like/admire/sometimes know! and occasionally words I’ve made that I like. See the above screenshot from my notes app. Steal some words if you want, but if you manage to make money off some of mine, holler at ya gurl’s Venmo, yeah?

2) Discuss words, how they work, and how we create them, use them, engage with them, and ultimately make art of them. I am not a professional linguist, but I went to undergrad for creative writing, so, hey, I’ll have opinions and do my best to back them up with ideas from people smarter than I am.

3) Books! Read them, revisit them, quote them, talk about them, sometimes maybe even review them, if I’m feeling particularly bold. No writer can exist in a vacuum, and any writer who insists they don’t like to read is either a) dyslexic and prefers audiobooks or b) in serious need of switching to a communications major (no shade, but also definitely a little shade @corporate journalism).

5) I added this last, but I feel it’s less important than 4 and does not deserve bookend status, and I am verbose but incredibly lazy, so here I am, fucking with the system. Anyway: Art! Music! Video games! I fucking love them. I’ll talk about them, sometimes, too. Maybe I’ll finally do some of the ekphrastic work I’ve felt rattling around in my brain for a while now. Jade Cocoon 2′s Water Wormhole Forest, looking right the fuck at you.

6) Ah, shit, I did it again. Oh well. Last-but-not-last: This is obviously, in some ways, a diary, or a massive personal essay. I will sometimes discuss people, places, or experiences that have informed my work just the same as other people’s art has.

4) Be an unabashed and open Trans woman. TERFs, transphobes, ill-informed biological essentialists not permitted. Come at me and my girldick and prepare to be dunked on and subsequently shown the door via a swift and painful steel-toed kick in the ass. Everybody who doesn’t suck, if I screw up on any matter of socio-ethics or respect for diversity, please feel free to correct me.

Punk’s dead, but we’re a generation of motherfucking necromancers. Be gay, do crime, fight the patriarchy, and fart when you gotta. May the Great Old Ones select you to ascend to a higher plane and learn the terrible truths of existence.

Much love--

Easy

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