#pls let them meet in some universe it's needed

[re4rleon]

leon "your right hand comes off?" kennedy really needs to meet ethan "chem fluid and mold powers" winters

[earthtooz]

x : NOT JEALOUS ! :*+ﾟ

in which: alhaitham isn't jealous, he doesn't get jealous, so what is this suffocating feeling in his chest that only happens when you're talking to another man that isn't him?

warnings: 5.4k words, jealous!alhaitham x gn!reader who has loads of rizz, university!au, fluff with angst but happy ending, pining!alhaitham who doesn't realise that he loves you, kaveh is there, mention of cyno, ooc at some bits?, swearing, alhaitham is a little bit of an asshole at some parts sawry. he's bad with feelings.

a/n: inspired by @danijaci's jealous jealous boy comic with alhaitham! hi dani if you're reading this pls don't perceive me... hides... but i hope you all like it :,)

Alhaitham isn’t jealous. 

The uncomfortable feeling obstructing itself in his throat is just because he’s beginning to develop a sore throat- that’s all. It is flu season after all, who knows what kind of bacteria are in the air? Ones capable of lathing an uncomfortable oil that burns inside his chest, the smog crowding its way into his heart, sickening him to his core as Alhaitham can’t help but eavesdrop on the conversation happening beside him.

“I’m free friday,” a voice besides you confirms.

“Okay!” you cheer, sounding a little too happy for Alhaitham’s liking. After all, it’s 9 am, who has this much energy in the morning? “lets do Friday then!”

“Sounds good, I’ll see you then. Bye Y/n.”

“Bye, see you!” Alhaitham watches from the corner of his eye as you wave to the random stranger you’ve decided to associate yourself with before finally taking the seat beside him with a sigh. 

He doesn’t say anything to you, feeling your eyes glance at him expectantly as he stares stubbornly at the lecture board instead of acknowledging you or the jumble of feelings clogging up his diaphragm. 

“Hello, you,” You lean over slightly, careful to not invade his personal space whilst waving at him, hoping to catch his attention. He glances at you, nodding in greeting before returning to his book, the pages and rows of words only fuelling his unease he suddenly felt. He doesn’t even know where he left off, the book’s events a blur in Alhaitham’s mind.

How bothersome. What’s happening to him?

“Talkative today, aren’t you?” Your tone is playful despite his cold attitude and Alhaitham sneaks another look in your direction, noting the way your lips curve upwards. “So, how are you?” 

“I’m fine,” he murmurs, inserting a bookmark between the pages before slamming it shut, an indicator that you could keep conversing with him.

“Cool.” You tap your nails on the desks of the lecture hall. “Oh, I finished my essay the other day.”

“The one for your elective?”

You hum in agreement, “I hope I never get it back. Submitted it ten minutes before the due date.”

“You know you wouldn’t have been stressed over it if you just started it earlier-”

“I know, I know,” you huff, “spare your productivity lectures for another time, I’ll be needing them later in the semester.” The grey-haired shakes his head as you laugh, but his gaze returns to the front cover of his book as he solemnly thinks about the interaction you had with another man, right in front of him. 

(What right did he have to see you smiling so earnestly like that?)

“Who was that?” Alhaitham coughs out, barely choking down his pride in time to make space for the question.

You murmur some guy’s name that he doesn’t bother to remember. “He’s a friend of mine in the same discussion group for this course and we decided to do the assignment together. He bumped into me on the way in so we were just planning when to meet to do the research.”

“Oh.” Your answer doesn’t calm the churning in Alhaitham’s gut. Not even one bit, in fact, it makes it worse. 

But it’s not jealousy, Alhaitham doesn’t get jealous because he’s above petty feelings of inadequacy. He’s merely concerned for you, worried for your brainpower by the end of the project because your partner seems less-than-incompetent. If you’d picked someone like Alhaitham (or better yet, just picked Alhaitham), you would’ve aced the class without even blinking an eye. 

(The two of you are friends, so why didn’t you pick him? It’s literally been proven that the two of you are compatible working together since you were both executives of Sumeru’s Cultural Society, and amidst all of the activities the club has run, you’ve collaborated many times to make each event run flawlessly. So why not him? Why would you pick another man over him?)

“You know you could have picked me, I wouldn’t mind working on the assignment with you,” he grumbles, words soft but very clear.

Alhaitham misses the way your eyes widen in shock as apologies scramble out of your mouth. “I’m sorry! I automatically assumed that you wanted to work on it by yourself. Next time I’ll ask you.” 

The lecture begins before he could say anything in return and like a robot, he sets his thoughts aside and begins listening, notes document up and cursor blinking at the ready.

A mundane two hours pass by, one powerpoint slide after powerpoint slide before the lecture is finally over, much to your pleasure. Alhaitham notices the way you eagerly jump out of your seat to stretch, grabbing your bag. On the other hand, your grey-haired accomplice takes his time in packing up, forcing you to wait for him.

“Would you like to get some coffee before the meeting?” You ask.

“Sure, we can find a seat there and join it together,” he adds and you beam at him, expression bright and so enchanting that it makes him forget about all the perplexities he felt before the lecture. 

The two of you make your way to one of the many campus cafés where you practically wrestled Alhaitham to stop him from paying for both your orders (losing in the end) before sitting at a booth, your laptop set up with a pair of Alhaitham’s earphones shared between you. The meeting begins to fill up with almost all committee members, even Kaveh, who resides in his room of his and Alhaitham’s shared flat. Upon noticing him, you go to text him, with the grey-haired peeking over your shoulder from time to time to see your conversation- not that he cares that much.

(Perhaps if Kaveh glanced up from his phone, then he’d see how close Alhaitham had gotten with you, breaching the distance that he prefers to keep around others. He’d also notice the headphone sharing despite how he generally tends to keep them out of anyone else’s hands.)

You’re tasked with the role of taking notes for the meeting since Alhaitham, in your opinion, is not at all a reliable scribe. His notes tend to just include vital information and never what everyone else needs to know, yet each time you scold him for it, his unbothered expression never falters, waving your complaints off with a shrug. 

“Hey, Kaveh and I are going to go for lunch tomorrow after our classes. Care to join?” You ask, smiling at him hopefully as your messages with Kaveh sit open on your screen. Alhaitham doesn’t think twice before agreeing. 

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

“It looks like it’s about to rain,” you murmur, pulling out a chair as Alhaitham and Kaveh take their seats opposite you. 

“So it does,” Alhaitham notes, not caring to look too long out the window before returning his gaze to you. “You have an umbrella, right?”

“I, uh, didn’t think I needed one today.”

“Do you not check the weather before you leave?”

“Not everyone’s like you, Alhaitham.” Kaveh teases. “It’s no problem, Y/n, if it rains I can walk you back to your dorm.”

“Only if you are okay with it,” you insist, “I have no problem walking home in the rain. I love the rain.”

Alhaitham intervenes with a raise of his hand. “Nonsense, you’ll catch a cold. We’ll walk you home.”

A soft but genuine ‘thank you’ slips from your lips, neither of you wiser to the way Kaveh eyes his roommate suspiciously, not missing the use of ‘we’ in his sentence and the implications the collective pronoun has. For it meant that Alhaitham is willing to take precious time out of his day to perform an act for someone that he is not indebted to do. Not that Alhaitham is inherently selfish, per se, but he is a man of routine. He wakes up every morning and takes five minutes to scribble on his stupid whiteboard in the kitchen what he has to do for the day and strictly abides by it, not even straying two minutes off schedule.

Willingly volunteering his minutes? Kaveh finds that suspicious. 

“So, how’s your architecture assignment, Kaveh?” You ask, breaking the blond from his daze whilst Alhaitham pours glasses of water for the table, starting with your cup. 

“A nightmare,” he sighs, sinking into his chair. “I still have so much to do, you know my professor didn’t like my blueprint? How ridiculous! I hope that man steps in a puddle and wets his sock.”

The grey-haired pipes up with a remark. “I can’t wait for it to be done, our living room is a mess right now.” 

“Hey, I am the one that cleans that living room, thank you very much. Your bookshelf is still a mess even though I’ve asked you to clean it five times.”

“If it bothers you so much then why don’t you do it yourself?”

“I’m the only one who-”

“-I’m going to go to the bathroom,” you murmur, cutting the conversation before shuffling out of your chair, seemingly eager to do so.

Kaveh turns to the grey-haired again, “and you just scared away Y/n.”

“Sorry no one wants to hear about your architecture project.”

“Y/n literally asked, asshole.”

A rebuttal sits on the tip of Alhaitham’s tongue- as it always does when it comes to bickering with his roommate, but it dies out when an intruder comes to the table. “Excuse me, I hate to interrupt,” he begins, “but the person who just got up, is that your friend?”

“Yeah, why do you ask?”

“Oh, I just wanted to drop this off, mind passing it over for me?” The piece of paper he was holding lands in Kaveh’s hand. “Thanks, bro.” Is all he says before strolling away, out of sight but definitely not out of mind.

The blond does not hesitate to open it up, chuckling in amusement when reading the content. “’Hey you’re cute, here’s my number’ it says. What a bitch! You didn’t like his vibes either, right, Alhaitham?”

“Hold on, what does the note say?”

Grabbing (snatching) it from Kaveh, the grey-haired has half a mind to rip the note apart, a certain sense of distaste washing over him that intensifies the long he stares at the guy’s handwriting. His eye is twitching. Why is his eye twitching?

“Hey!” He hears Kaveh call. “Don’t scrunch it, that’s Y/n’s-“

Alhaitham stuffs the ball of paper into his bag where he’ll recycle it later even though something irrational within him tells him to burn it. “Y/n won’t miss it. You said it yourself, he’s a bitch.”

“Sure, but why are you doing-“

“Hey!” You interrupt, sliding back into your chair with a grin on your face. “So, what did I miss?”

“Nothing,” the grey-haired murmurs, assuming his crossed-arm position. Kaveh side eyes his roommate before agreeing with a hum. “Let’s order something now. We want to beat the rain, right?”

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

This meeting for the Sumeru Society might have been one of the most important ones of the year thus far, with almost every committee member expected to attend. After all, the annual ball was a big event that always had the largest turnout, and the amount of planning that goes into it to ensure its success is almost triple that of its other events.

So why weren’t you here?

“Why did you leave the meeting early on Friday?” Alhaitham asks as soon as he sees you.

You pause briefly, eyes widening and eyebrows raising. It must have been the way that Alhaitham’s voice raised a pitch towards the end of the question, demonstrating a nervous break in character that was not at all typical. Cool and collected would be the defining words to describe Alhaitham, as well as someone who does not care for the menial activities of others, so what is he doing asking you? And why does he care so much?

“I, uh, had dinner with someone,” you confess, continuing to grab your books and laptop, missing the way his features contort into something un-cool, and very un-Alhaitham.

“Whom?”

You murmur the name of some other guy, who he vaguely recalls to be your project partner.

“What?” Alhaitham snaps.

“I didn’t think missing out on some of the meeting would be a big deal! I got another committee member to explain what I missed,” you justified. “Besides, there’s no big events going on right now, so I thought-”

“-That you could abandon your tasks and go have fun with someone else?”

Alhaitham’s not really sure why he said that. He’s not angry that you skipped a meeting; there are larger things in the world to worry about, he’s angry because you spent time with another guy that wasn’t him.Why not go to dinner with him instead? He spends it every night with Kaveh, and you are far more favourable than Kaveh.  

“Is it really something to get mad over? I already told you, I got the meeting notes and everything-”

“-You’re an executive of the society, Y/n, more is expected from you.”

“Seriously?” you ask, “how come you didn’t bat an eye when the vice president wasn’t there the other day?”

“Because she was sick.” 

“Okay, fine! what about the subcommittee? they’re not always there either!” 

“They’re subcom. Whether they miss a meeting or not is not crucial.”

“So, it’s just my business that you care about?” You ask, eyebrows furrowed, disbelief clouding over your expression like a mask.

Again, Alhaitham doesn’t know where these punches are coming from and why he’s throwing them against you so viciously, but his heart is tightening defensively with a burning emotion that he’s been feeling more and more recently, and his first instinct is to lash out, to protect himself from it.

Perhaps it’s because foreign things that he can’t understand terrify him and you, all you ever do is make him feel things that he’s never felt before and he can’t understand why. 

“You’re not that special.”

A flash of hurt gleams in your eyes and Alhaitham knows now that he’s royally fucked up. “You’re an ass,” you grumble, about to walk away when he intercepts.

“Listen to me!”

“Fuck off!” 

“Y/n-”

You’re gone before he can get another word out, retreating figure stomping away whilst his chest weaves into knots; something that no amount of deep breathing can calm. It doesn’t help that the minute he returns home, Kaveh is onto him like some sort of parasite, curious over the tense air surrounding his normally-composed roommate. 

“Hey, welcome home- whoa, what’s gotten into you?” The blond asks.

“None of your business,” Alhaitham grumbles through gritted teeth, taking his shoes off and throwing them aside haphazardly. Kaveh doesn’t miss the way Alhaitham’s jaw is clenched, or the strain in his hand when he brings up a hand to run through his hair, or the very subtle and minute twitch in his cheek.

The blond ignores all signs that he wants to be left alone, and instead, follows the grey-haired to his room after he swung the door open. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on, let’s talk about this-”

“Talk about what?” Alhaitham growls.

“Who pissed in your black coffee today?” 

“No one. Now get lost.” 

“Aw, come on, you know what they say. Getting things off your chest is always beneficial.”

“There’s nothing on my chest, go away.”

“You sure? no stress, no deadlines, no love interest making you tear your hair out-”

“-No, no, none of those!”

“Then what?”

Alhaitham steadies himself by resting his elbows on his thighs, hands clasped together as he exhales loudly. “I got pissed and took it out on Y/n, who’s mad at me now.”

“Huh? Why so annoyed?”

“Because Y/n went to dinner with another man.”

It’s silent for a while. The sassy quip that he expects from Kaveh does not happen. Instead, the blond merely smiles, a satisfied, knowing grin that slightly irks him. “You know, I’ve been waiting for the day you realise you have feelings for Y/n.” 

“What? Where did you get that conclusion from?” Alhaitham sits up straighter. There are a lot of things he knows, and he knows for sure that he does not like you in any way beyond platonic. He doesn’t have any time to spare for love. There are scholarships he still needs to apply for, internships to be interviewed for, research projects to submit- nowhere amongst the minute hand of the clock is there space for love. 

“Oh come on,” Kaveh sits down on the bed beside his roommate, leaning back on his hands. “You’re not as smooth as you hope to be sometimes.”

“I’m serious, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Y’know the sooner you accept you have feelings for Y/n, the easier life will be.”

“Life is already easy and there is no sooner because I don’t like Y/n like that. Now get lost. I have stuff I need to finish.”

Kaveh shrugs, standing up with a soft ‘suit yourself’, taking seven steps before he’s out of the room. Alhaitham lets out a sigh that has lodged itself in his throat for too long, and the feeling of reprieve he gets is short-lived before he’s flooded with a certain tightness again. Maybe he did have a weight on his chest after all, not that he’d ever admit it to himself or Kaveh.

He gets up from his made bed with a grunt and decides to push aside all distractions. Time is unforgiving, and if doesn’t finish his assignment by this Friday then he’ll be a little less than pleased.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Alhaitham feels like he can’t breathe. 

You’re sitting alone at a library desk, all focused and concentrated on your laptop screen with your headphones on, blocking out any outside voice as you type away. He wonders if he should say hi, maybe try apologising for the way he acted last Monday- who is this guy that’s approaching you and why does he look so familiar? 

And why are you smiling so happily?

You beckon to the seat beside you and the guy readily complies, taking the chair beside you like he belonged there, like there weren’t other candidates that should be there instead (he’s not talking about himself. definitely not).

He hands you one of two coffee cups he’s holding. What kind of right does this guy have to give you a coffee? Does he even know your order?

He feels like a bit of creep keenly watching you interact with someone else from a balcony of the library, but the book and laptop in front of him lies forgotten, and in a rare moment of weakness, Alhaitham can’t find it in himself to return to his tasks, pursuit of knowledge momentarily forgotten. He can’t push aside the bile that threatens to rise, he can’t loosen his grip on the couch’s armrest, and he can’t blink for a second in fear of losing you from his sight.

(You’re laughing. Why are you laughing? How can you look so pretty laughing and why doesn’t he ever get to make you laugh like this?)

Alhaitham is losing his damn mind. So much so that the first thing he does when he sees you again is corner you. 

“You shouldn’t talk to that guy anymore.”

You’re backed against the brick walls of the time-worn building that your shared lecture always takes place in, and Alhaitham, spotting you like a hawk, put you in this precarious position as soon as the two hours were over. 

He can’t breathe. It’s been almost three weeks since you last spoke to him and you’re staring up at him like you’ve done nothing wrong, blinking once and twice at his uncharacteristic display of subtle aggression. 

“Who?” you mutter, shaking your head to try and grasp reality once again. you hug your laptop closer to your body. “What’s this about?”

“I said you shouldn’t talk to that guy anymore.” 

“What guy?” 

“Your project partner.”

“Really?” you mutter in disbelief.

He nods, teal eyes shining at you firmly. “Really. The project’s over, you don’t need to talk to him anymore.” 

“I don’t recall ever giving you the right to dictate who gets to be in my life or not, just like how you can’t tell me what to do with my time.” 

“I’m looking out for you, so stop trying to make me sound tyrannical.” 

Your mouth hangs open as you furrow your eyebrows, growing more and more frustrated with each second. So much for thinking that he wanted to resolve the awkwardness between the two of you. “I’m not even going to argue with you,” you murmur a quick ‘jerk’ under your breath before brushing past him. 

Alhaitham, however, is not willing to let you go as easily as you wish, quick to chase after you. Not that you go far anyways, turning around to face him again in the spaciousness of the vacant hallway. “Why do you care?” You ask, exasperated. “You’re Alhaitham, you don’t let trivial things like who I hangout with bother you, you’re cool and collected and rational, and I just don’t understand why you’re acting like this.”

He doesn’t understand either, not the erratic beating of his heart, the stubbornness of his mind, nor this undisputable urge to keep you all to himself. Is it normal to want to hide someone for selfish reasons?

Trailing off, Alhaitham is slightly humiliated that for the first time in his life, someone has witnessed him coming short of an answer. No logical conclusion, no explanation, not even a satisfying quip, just plain, suffocating silence.

“Right. When you do have an answer, let me know.” You walk away.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Your last rebuttal still weighs heavily on Alhaitham’s mind, even two days later as he and Kaveh are seated for a lecture in a shared course. His thoughts are scrambled like never before, the messiness of it all making him feel uneasy because for once, he doesn’t have an appropriate answer to a question.

Why was he acting like a temperamental teenager? What you did with your life was up to you, and indeed he has no right trying to change that. More importantly, why was it so hard to apologise for the stuff he said-

“So, how’s everything between you and Y/n?” 

Kaveh turns to him with widened eyes whilst Alhaitham’s poker face doesn’t move an inch, deceivingly apathetic.

“Good, we’ve been hanging out a lot more recently,” the other guy says, who Alhaitham quickly recognises to be your project partner and distaste rises in his stomach like bile. 

“Aye, good for you, man! So when are you going to ask Y/n out?”

“No way, bro, not yet. I’m such a wimp, but I hope I grow the balls to ask soon because I really like-”

“-looks like you got some competition!” The blond nudges Alhaitham, and if it were anyone else, they would not have glanced twice at the grey-haired who seemed unmoving and uninterested. However, Kaveh is not anyone else because he noticed the darkened look in Alhaitham’s eyes instantly, anger seeping into his composed gaze as his nose scrunches in disgust. 

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

“So, you and Alhaitham still aren’t talking?” Kaveh asks, leaning on the table of the restaurant with curious ears, hoping that he can grab some answers out of you as to why there was a stalemate between you and his roommate.

“Nope,” you sigh. 

“Why not?”

“I’m just-” you pinch the bridge of your nose, “I’m just waiting on an apology from him.”

“An apology? Why? What did he say?”

“He didn’t tell you?”

“You know how he is. Always insufferably secretive, so no, I don’t know anything that happened.” 

“Alhaitham just said some hurtful things to me, and he was being weird when I told him I was going to dinner with a friend of mine. Just kept being in my business.”

“Really?” The architecture student quirks a brow, confusion plastered on his face. “That’s not like Alhaitham at all.”

“I know, right? He kept trying to be like ‘don’t hang out with him’ and ridiculed me for not playing my part as an executive of the Sumeru society,” you complained, “like sorry I have other things I want to do.”

Kaveh nods in understanding as the conversation briefly stops when the waiter comes to drop off utensils at your table. As soon as they were gone, however, you begin again.

“And even though he was all up in my business, trying to tell me what not to do, he then said that I wasn’t special, which is so confusing because like-”

“-hold on. Alhaitham said that you weren’t special?” You nod at his parroted claim. “To him?” 

“Yeah. Stung like shit when he said that, especially since I thought we were friends but guess not,” you murmur sadly, fiddling with the fork.

Later that night, almost immediately after meeting you over dinner, Kaveh barges into his roommate’s room, not even changing out of his outside clothes. The sudden intrusion shocks Alhaitham who was busy typing on a document, textbook splayed open beneath him but momentarily forgotten as the blond takes a seat on the bed.

“What the- not even a hello?” The grey-haired asks, confused by this uncharacteristic silence of Kaveh’s. It’s pretty normal for the blond to barge into his room without notice, but it was not normal for him to be so quiet, practically brooding on the mattress. “Whatever. Where have you been? Have you eaten yet, because I made-”

“When will you just confess to Y/n?”

The mention of your name causes a spike in Alhaitham’s heartbeat and he swivels around instantly, attention fully directed towards his roommate. “Where is this coming from?”

“Y/n told me everything that happened between you two by the way-”

“-what, when?”

“Tonight, we just met for dinner.”

“And you didn’t tell me?”

“What would you have done if you knew? Showed up and made things worse?” He doesn’t say anything in retaliation, merely shutting his mouth and furrowing his eyebrows. “Why did you say that Y/n wasn’t special to you?” 

“I didn’t,” Alhaitham sighs, very loud and very perplexed. “I didn’t mean for it to come out the way it did.”

“Don’t you miss Y/n? You two used to hangout so often.”

“I do, of course I do!” He exclaims, burrowing his face in his hands. 

“So why aren’t you apologising?” 

“Because whenever I’m around Y/n, I’m not who I normally am,” he mutters, “especially everything whenever that project partner is around-”

“Jealous, much?”

“I’m not jealous.”

“Oh come on, you’re ridiculous. Stop pushing away your feelings and just be honest with yourself, Alhaitham! Y/n is not just a friend to you and you know it.”

“But, we are just friends-”

“So you mean to tell me that if I hung out with someone else- like if I hung out with Cyno, you would be pissed?”

“What? No, of course not.”

“Then why is it different with Y/n?” Once again, Alhaitham doesn’t have an answer to the question, sitting as still as a statue hunched over his desk. “Fine, I’ll spell it out to you. You like Y/n, more than just a friend!”

The silence leftover from Kaveh’s outburst is tense and full as the grey-haired lets the words sink in. 

“I’ll let you think about it,” the blond murmurs, voice softening dramatically as he stalks out of the room. Before he closes the door, however, he leaves a few final words. “Just- be honest with yourself, Alhaitham, and I wouldn’t delay trying to talk to Y/n.”

A sharp click rings through the room.

Alhaitham is no stranger to being alone, for who needs the company of others when you are happiest by yourself? Yet, in the weeks that you have not been speaking to him, a cardinal urge as been growing each and each day, wanting him to do something so atypical of him: to reach out and make the first move. Every passing day doesn’t lessen the thoughts that plague his mind, rather, they make him more and more impatient, because what if you get swept away by your project partner? 

(What if he’ll be too late? What if you won’t know of these powerful emotions that are steering through the storm in his heart? What if you won’t know just how badly he was been wanting you- wanting to see you, wanting to apologise, wanting to see you beam at him like you always would.

What if you won’t know that he adores you, especially now that he’s figured it out?).

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

A rain droplet falls and lands on your nose, another lands on your forehead, then another lands on your lip then more and more keep falling from the cloudy sky, falling through the leaves and landing on the bench you were currently sitting on. Goodness, you should have checked the weather before leaving your dorm. Why was it now out of all times that it had to rain, what would Alhaitham think after he finally decided to reach out to talk?

Taking your phone out to message the grey-haired about relocating, an umbrella is suddenly held over you, stopping the gentle drizzle from falling onto you. Looking up, you’re greeted by a familiar face that you have been missing too much recently.

“Hello, you,” you breathe, voice gentle and quiet and Alhaitham feels like he can finally breathe after so long, the scent of rain washing away all perplexion.

He nods at you in greeting before offering you the bouquet of flowers he was holding. A gorgeous arrangement of pink of white stare prettily at you and a man even more gorgeous expects you to accept it.

“For me?” You ask.

“For you.”

“Thank you, they’re so beautiful,” you take his gift with gentle hands, holding it close to your chest. 

“I want to apologise,” he firmly states, getting straight to the point; very Alhaitham of him. “For treating you the way I have been recently.”

You beam at him, so bright and so gorgeous that it renders him speechless, a feat pretty difficult when it comes to someone like Alhaitham who has a whole dictionary of words, in multiple languages too. Somehow, they all flock out of his mind the second you smile at him.  

“I accept your apology, thank you for reaching out, must have been hard for someone like you, huh?” You tease, standing up from the bench.

“Well, I had do for someone as special as you.” The grey-haired’s voice is deceivingly confident and assured, but you know better, especially when he looks away to hide his expression with his neatly styled bangs. 

“No need for the flattery, you know, I’ve already forgiven you.” There’s a moment of silence that occupies the air, caused by Alhaitham’s hesitation as he fishes his brain for the courage to ask you out. You speak before he can get a word out, however. “I got asked out the other day.”

“By your groupmate?”

“He has a name, you know, but, yeah. I rejected him, though,” you laugh awkwardly, almost like you were trying to cope with it by playing it off. “Did you know that he would do that?” 

“Yes. I did.”

“Is that why you were so adamant on me not hanging out with him?”

“I guess you could say that. We can talk more about it another time,” he tells you, voice gentle and caring to mask the subtle hit of jealousy he feels in his chest, scolding himself for letting someone else confess to you before him. However, it’s a minute sensation in comparison to the triumph Alhaitham feels knowing that you rejected the other party. 

“We have a lot to talk about, don’t we?”

“We do, but I want to ask you something first.” 

You nod, hugging the bouquet closer to your chest, anticipation heavy in the air as you spur him to continue. 

“If I asked you out, would you reject me too?”

A mere second passes by where you don’t respond, yet the second stretches out to what feels like eternity as Alhaitham’s stomach churns. Patience is something he doesn’t lack, but how can he be patient when his heart wants you so bad? 

Then, you take his hand, and the heavens sing at the feeling of your hand in his. “I wouldn’t, but are you asking me out?”

“Are you free right now?”

“I am. Why?”

“Let’s go out then. On a date.”

“I'd love to.” You rise up to place a lingering kiss on his cheek, one that has his heart racing with joy rather than frustration.

The smile you earn is gentle, shy, but says more than Alhaitham's words ever can.

© EARTHTOOZ 2023, do not steal, translate, repost my fics and do not recommend my fics onto any other site.

[kalki-tarot]

PAC - WHY SHOULD YOU FOCUS ON YOURSELF INSTEAD OF YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE RIGHT NOW ?

Just meditate and ask your guides/higher power to provide you insight.

Allow me to tap into your energy. 🧿

My readings are always honest and I don't sugarcoat things, pls read at your own risk. And try to have an open mind. 🙏🧿💕

Pile 1

Cards - 7 of wands, 6 of pentacles, 8 of wands

Are you in a hurry to meet them? Your future spouse? You are rushing things and trying to get ahead of your circumstances or the present reality. You know what pile 1? You still have a lot of parts unhealed of your soul. And this is not allowing you to fly freely as you should. You may feel like your fears are greater than you, but trust me they are not. You have all the power over your fears!

In the hurry of meeting them, you are forgetting your own self. You need to love yourself first before loving someone else. You should give yourself more time to think and process things. You should try to ground yourself in the present. Try to do root chakra and sacral chakra healing. Your fears have created some energy blocks which aren't helping you at all.

Don't worry, your desire of wanting to meet the one for you is being addressed by the universe. You will get what you want. But you need to heal yourself first. Clear your karma and self doubts.

Pile 2

Cards - 10 of pentacles, 7 of cups, 4 of pentacles

Pile 2 my loves, are going through a spiritual transformation or awakening right now. You can't miss any steps in the journey right? Please focus on healing yourself more.

Okay, so I can see that you are trying to manifest love and abundance in your life or you are just dreaming and visualizing about it. Let me tell you this one thing, that it definitely is working in your favour but you also need to break the walls of protection that surround you. You are scared to go outside and meet new people. Dear, please understand that you need to get out of your dreams and delusions and actually step out of your comfort zone to meet your future spouse.

Your future spouse on the other hand are too trying to heal their inner child wounds. They are saying that you need to get stable in life. You lack grounded energy and are underconfident about a lot of things. Please try to let go of any insecurities that surround you. Because they are hampering your growth, pile 2.

Pile 3

Cards : Temperance, 7 of wands, 5 of cups

Do you have this tendency to get depressed whenever you don't get any messages from the pick a card readings of? Don't be dependent for love on anyone, not even your future spouse. Love them, but stay away from unhealthy attachments. The reason of their no communication is because they are busy. They are working hard in their career right now. And you too should now focus on your career and goals.

Everything is well when taken in moderation. Balance love and career both logically and like a healthy human being please. You also have this tendency to run away from problems or sadness and indulge yourself in overworking don't do that.

Some of you could be in same sex relationships and you are thinking that things won't work out. Well, things would work out if you make them work out. Try to take bold decisions and stand for that decision.

Don't look back at the past, this is the final step to meet your fs. Just keep going.

Pile 4

Cards : Strength, 9 of cups, 4 of swords

You lack compassion for your own self. You are someone who gives everything to others but feels bad for giving it to yourself. You may connect well with plants and animals or just nature in general. Try to work on your self worth and don't critisize yourself too much.

You have many things to deal with right now. You have many parts unhealed. Try to relax and rejuvenate more physically as well as mentally and spiritually. It'll be good for your overall well being. Try to play with pets or just stroll in nature for sometime to refresh your mind.

You feel like there's so much competition somehow (?) And try to give yourself small rewards for accomplishing tasks. Try to celebrate your small successes please. You need to celebrate yourself more in order to attract the right partner for yourself.

You need to be in the energy of self love and good self worth to attract good partners who emit the same frequency. Do you understand? Lots of love to you.

[gemissleeping]

Moonlight & Masks

Theodore Nott x Fem!Reader

Summary: Newly turned Death Eater Theodore Nott is tasked with hunting down Harry Potter and the Order Operative protecting him. Only to discover the person he hunts happens to be the one he loves.

Length: 1.8k

Notes: Back from the dead (I am so sorry things are hectic and I don’t want to release a chapter I’m not feeling) with this little one from @thatdammchickennugget’s Hogmarch Challenge! Death Eater Theo. Use of the killing curse. Angst as always because we know I live for the drama. For those of you wanting more Veleveteen, in my head this occurs in the same story universe (which I know isn’t the same as an update pls forgive my sins). Not proofread, we have deadlines to meet.

The sting of lightning hung in the air as she weaved through the trees. The thundering footfall still pressing behind her. Lungs burning with need, she pressed on. Dizzied from the turbulent descent she and Mad Eye had suffered.

Alastor. He was dead.

She hadn’t even been able to take his body from the dirt where it had fallen. And the Death Eaters certainly wouldn’t afford him the dignity of a proper burial.

Tears clawed at her cheeks as she bounded over the tree roots twisting across the forest floor. Thinking only of Mad Eye, the way his voice had simply ceased when the curse had hit him. No cry of pain, no strangled wail. Only silence.

Her grip on her wand tightened as her tears ran hot. The taunting laugh of one of her pursuers echoing through the trees as they crashed after her. The darkness spinning endlessly around her. It wasn’t fair. None of it was fair. Gone were the rules they had been taught to play by. Humanity sacrificed for power. Thoughtless with rage, she cast back her wand into the leering shadows. Letting the words fall from her lips before her heart could catch them.

Avada Kedavra

The green light felt as though it tore right through her as it ricocheted from her wand. Scattering through the trees and hitting its mark with a crack. Ripping at her chest with blistering heat, forcing her ribs apart until the spell dissipated. The laughter ceased. That same absence that had followed earlier resting through the trees. She was dragged to a still.

The force of the spell brought her to her knees. Bark breaking the skin of her palms, blood blooming as she fell forward in agony. She felt it being torn from her throat just now; some vital piece of herself. What she had given to cast the curse. The crack rung through her ears. Trailing her even as its ringing grew soft, faded into the background of the forest’s creaks and stutters. She could feel the heaving of her chest, dizzied by the absence that had been dug into her.

Before she could break upon the forest floor completely, the snap of a twig behind her brought reality rearing back. Whipping to face the darkness, she searched the teasing shadows that surrounded her. Nothing answered but the wind. She pushed herself up on bloody palms, staggering towards the nearest tree. Catching the glint of a metal smile hit by moonlight as she turned. But it was too late.

The Death Eater was on her in a second, wand jammed to her throat. One hand wrenching her head back by the hair. A mutilated snarl coming from the unmoving mask.

“Potter.”

She still had Harry’s face.

The figure towered before her, gloved hand pulling harshly at her hair as she strained against their grip. More tears pricking at her eyes as she faced the smooth and indifferent wall between them. Both of them were wearing masks really. But the thought brought little comfort to the nausea biting at her.

She was going to die someone else.

Wand to her throat, she closed her eyes. Preparing for the flurry of hot green light. Perhaps it was what she deserved, it could be a mercy. This way she would never have to truly face what she had done. There was no doubt in her mind that the person before her would finish the job. And yet she waited, but nothing came.

Opening her eyes once again she found him watching her carefully. Blue eyes clouded with something foreign, his silver mask lodged in the dirt at their feet. Looking at her with nothing but quiet restraint. She felt her throat close at the sight of him, all defences leaving her as she stared up at the boy before her.

“I asked something of you, when I saw you last,” Theo spoke lowly, wand still jammed to her throat as though he didn’t fully trust the person he saw before him. “Do you have an answer for me?” His voice fell flat against the forest air, low and heavy as his empty eyes.

His words sent another wave of dizziness crashing through her. The events of the past ten minutes threatening to bring everything up from her stomach. She wanted to fall into his chest and let his robes soak up her tears. To slice her palm clean across his cheek. Fall to the forest floor and not get up. Beg him to finish the job.

But instead, she did as she was told; she stayed quiet. Like the good little soldier they had taught her to be. Counting the freckles and moles that dotted the skin of his cheeks like they were her favourite constellations.

“Answer the question,” Theo snarled again, shoving her back forcefully. Back hitting the jagged edges of bark with an audible crack as a groan left her. Still she didn’t speak, blinking up at him as her head spun from when it had made contact with the tree.

“I’ll do it Potter,” he hissed lowly. His wand cutting further into her throat as she struggled to breathe under its pressure. He barely seemed to notice, staring down at her with empty eyes. “Don’t think I won’t just because you have something I want.”

She only watched him carefully, trying not to let herself give it away as she watched him. Staving off the clouds of memory that threatened to consume her at the sight of him.

“No?” He chimed, a sharp edge to his warm voice, “Very well.”

He drew a breathe, anger taking him in its burning grip. But just as the curse he had planned to cast was forming a whisper of air on his lips; she felt it. The rippling beneath her skin. Pulling and tugging and melting at the fibres of her. She bit her tongue as the pain of it ripped through her. Reforming beneath the skin as everything cracked and popped in and out of place. Until only she remained, swimming in Harry’s ridiculous hoodie.

Theo still had her pressed against the tree, all colour drained from his face as he watched the skin seem to melt and reform on her bones. His hands began to shake. She watched him with distant eyes, trying to hold onto what little restraint remained.

“What’s wrong?” She asked hoarsely, her throat aching from the potion’s due course. Theo’s wand still hesitantly pressed to the delicate skin of her throat. “Can’t do it anymore?”

It happened like the break of a dam. Her name fell from his lips in a rush of credence. Lips falling apart at the sight of her before him, what he’d almost done without realising. His wand dropped in a stagger, as though she had struck him. The darkness of the forest enclosing around them.

“You left me there,” he breathed suddenly, as though it hadn’t meant to come out. She blinked up at him as confusion swept her. But the lost look he carried only washed away as his eyes hardened.

“What?” she breathed.

“You left me there alone,” he spoke again, ignited with a sudden rage. His words were like kindling to her own. Her brow cracking with anger.

“No, Theo,” her voice shook, “you left me.” Theo looked to the ground, shaking his head gently in denial. He took a hesitant step forwards, as though to reach for her. But she stepped back, her spine hitting the tree. “Do you know how much I had to go through alone before I got out of there? Because you were too busy running off with Draco, or-”

He closed the distance between them with a blistering intensity.

“Do you know what it’s been like since? Without you?” It came out in a boiling whisper. “He wants your head almost as much as he wants Potter’s,” Theo’s eyes softened at the words, swept up in whatever memory they procured. “And I just have to sit there and take it, listening to the vile things they plan to do to you. Knowing there’s not a single fucking thing I can do about any of it, except for-”

He didn’t have to say it, the break of his voice said enough. The way his eyes fled from her own. He had meant to kill her.

“Why don’t you do it then?” She whispered, eyes brimming with more tears. Looking to the boy she had loved since she was too young to understand the word. “It would save me the-”

“Stop it.”

“I deserve it, don’t I? For leaving you. You said so yourself, in your letter. I read it you know.”

“No, I didn’t mean-”

“I know you’ve cast it before-”

“I said stop,” he bellowed, pressing himself against her in a flash of pent up fury. His body flush against hers as his chest heaved with the weight of his rage. “Even if I wanted to,” he whispered, his lips brushing lightly against her ear, “I can’t.” His hands tightened into fists, “He wants to do it himself.”

He peeled himself away from her, as though every inch of his skin that couldn’t feel hers was the worst form of torture. Drinking in every part of her except for her eyes, which he couldn’t bring himself to meet. She searched his, begging him to pull himself to meet hers.

“Is it that?” She breathed, fearful eyes rounded as she looked up to him. Searching for that thread that had always hung between them. His eyes grew tense as he saw what thoughts lay in hers, “Or is it because-”

“Stop.”

-you love me.

“Don’t,” he snapped, but even the sharp edge of his voice couldn’t distract from the despair swimming in his eyes. “Please,” he breathed, his head dipping towards her neck in defeat, but not daring to brush the skin, “don’t.”

He wanted to hold her, let his fingers trail across her cheeks, brush his thumb over her eyelashes. Just to make sure it was really her. Not some cruel trick made out to test his loyalty. But instead he let his breath fan across the bare skin of her neck. Knowing it was the only way he could allow himself to touch her.

“It was you I asked after,” his confession fell dead against the skin of her neck. He heard the breath she drew as though it was taken from him. Felt himself unravelling being so close to her now, after months of waiting and silence and searching.

Fuck it.

He’d be flayed for it, but everything could be damned. None of it mattered if he could feel her lips on his again. His hands flew to the delicate skin of her cheeks. Palms soaking in the remainder of her tears as his lips met hers. They parted effortlessly for him, welcoming him in as though she had been waiting just as he had. The softness of her lips balancing against his hunger. Her head tilted towards him, completely at his mercy beneath his calloused palms. Just as she should have been all this time.

[eggluverz]

— LADY FU'S MATCHMAKING SERVICE

PAIRING. jing yuan x gn!reader

WARNINGS. gn reader but they are wearing a dress

WORD COUNT. 1,933

GENRE. blind date au, in-universe setting

SUMMARY. fu xuan thinks the lonely general needs to go on a date, and you are just the person she wants to set him up with.

SOF’S NOTE. for some reason the moment i write for jing yuan i’m like LET’S FOCUS ON HIS LIPS! HIS SMIRK! HIS EYES! and that’s basically what the whole fic is on i’m sorry but what he so pretty for :/ ahdkalc anyway pls enjoy!!

Fu Xuan wanted what was best for the Xianzhou. And she was certain the solutions she drew from her calculated predictions would were what was best for Xianzhou. However, there were some situations in which Fu Xuan didn’t need her third eye or the Matrix of Prescience to know what would be best. 

One situation included the general’s love life. 

Or rather, lack thereof if she wanted to be particular. 

The general seemed unsatisfied, almost lonely at times. Fu Xuan didn’t recall the last time Jing Yuan had ever gone on a date. It wasn’t as if she herself had much leisure time to attend meetings with potential romantic partners, but she also wasn’t half as unsatisfied with her life as Jing Yuan was. 

Besides, if the general were to find someone to be with, perhaps he’d be more likely to abdicate sooner. 

“Well, General,” asked Fu Xuan, eyes widen with hope, “what do you say?”

A half-smile stayed on Jing Yuan’s face. “Lady Fu, need I remind you this is the fourth time you’ve asked that this month?” 

“You do not need to remind me, I’m well aware,” she said with her arms folded. “I simply hope you’ll genuinely consider it this time. The person I have in mind is kind and intelligent, I know you wouldn’t regret just one date.” 

The general signed, gently stroking his chin. It took a lot for him to lose his patience, so Fu Xuan knew pushing him like this wouldn’t lead to any trouble.

“Do you truly believe I need to go on a date—a blind date, at that?”

“I believe it would be best for your health and wellbeing. Thus, it would best for the Xianzhou Luofu in order to have the best version of their general.”

Jing Yuan sighed louder this time, sounding more amused than frustrated. “If I agree to go on this blind date, do you agree to stop asking me to go on them?”

Fu Xuan nodded eagerly. “If my calculations are correct, you won’t need to go on a blind date with anyone else.”

“I suppose Lady Fu’s calculations are never wrong.”

˖⁺‧₊˚❀˚₊‧⁺˖

You weren’t sure who you would be seeing on your date today. Naturally, that was the purpose of a blind date. 

Your acquaintance, Fu Xuan, proposed the idea of this blind match up to help out someone close to her. Since you were single and currently not opposed to dating, you figured it would be worth a try. You just wondered who in the world could the head of the Divination Commission set you up with. 

As calm as you may have seemed, you were somewhat nervous about this date. You knew the people she associated with tended to be highly ranked officials. And while you were a scholar by profession, you still felt just the slightly bit intimidated by the idea. You reminded yourself whoever it was is was just another person like you, and you had no reason to fear. 

You walked into Garden of Gourmet, the restaurant Fu Xuan told you to meet your blind date at, and were immediately greeted by the smell of classic Xianzhou Luofu cuisine. Your eyes scanned the place, landing on the corner table that Fu Xuan said she told your date to sit at. It didn’t take very long to spot the person sitting at the booth. 

Your eyes widened, checking your messages to see if you read what Fu Xuan sent incorrectly. Unfortunately for you, you did not. You read her message right and that was indeed the man she set you up with for dinner. 

The general.

Fu Xuan told you to wear yellow so your date would know it was you. You were donned in a metallic gold dress that you figured was close enough to yellow, and definitely enough to stand out in a crowd. 

Despite the bright gold sign on your body telling your blind date that you were here, you were tempted to see if you could walk out of the restaurant before he could notice. Then, you realized that would mean you were going to stand the general up if you didn’t show, and that simply wouldn’t do.

While you were deciding whether or not to stay or go, the general spotted you staring and slowly raised his hand. His hooded eyes crinkled up in a small smile; his demeanor looked almost smug and you weren’t sure if he was trying to greet you or challenge you. 

Realizing there was no chance of turning back now, you walked over to him, head held high. You swayed your hips side to side and gave him a sideways grin as you approached. 

“I’m guessing you’re my date for the day?”

The general kept his eyes trained on yours, nodding as he sized you up. “Correct. My name is Jing Yuan.“

He introduced himself as if all of Xianzhou didn’t already know who he was. Still, you were thankful for his introduction. He stood up as you grew closer, walking around the table to pull your chair out for you. 

“I’m Y/N,” you said, slipping into the seat. His hands stayed holding the backrest even as you leaned back. “Thank you.”

He made a hum of acknowledgment.

Jing Yuan stayed above you for a brief moment before pushing your chair back in. He then returned to his original spot across from you and handed you a menu. The two of you ordered wine and food and it was served shortly. 

“So, Jing Yuan,” you said, carefully  placing your hand around a glass of wine and drinking gingerly, “forgive me if this is rude, but… What is the General of the Cloud Knights doing on a blind date?” 

His lopsided smile widened as he took a sip of his own. “Enjoying his time with a lovely person, of course.”

You let out a small noise of laughter. “Well, I’m certainly glad to hear that.”

Jing Yuan disregarded all table etiquette and rested his cheek on his hand while leaning onto the table. “Lady Fu was very persistent, to answer in full. But she also seems adamant that this is what’s best for me.” He smiled up at you from his nonchalant position. “And why is such a beautiful person as yourself on this blind date?”

His flattery made you shake your head. You knew he was partly teasing you for your own question, but his compliment still made you feel warm inside. There was something about his lidded eyes and mischievous drawl that made you want to cling onto every word he said. 

You replied, “Fu Xuan can be quite convincing, as you know.” The two of you exchanged a dry smile. “Besides, I am single right now and it seemed like a good time to get to meet someone knew. Little did I know it’d be the general himself.”

“Do you regret it now that you know?” he mused, straightening up in his seat. He tilted his head, wanting to hear your answer. “Would you have gone on this blind date if you knew it would’ve been with me?”

You thought back at the moment when you first saw him at the corner table and grew sheepish. When you saw the general, you did want to leave at first. You weren’t one to get tangled up in political drama; you simply wanted to enjoy your life and your prestige while continuing to read and learn.

“When I saw you here, I was debating on leaving,” you admitted. Noticing his expression tighten, you continued, “But once I got out of my own head, I realized there was nothing to be nervous about.” 

His brows perked up and you smirked at his eagerness. Did the general care this much about what you thought of him? How…fun. 

“I was still nervous because you’re really handsome and charming, naturally. But those are a different kind of nerves that I don’t mind.”

Jing Yuan leaned back in his seat, swirling the wine around in his glass, “Different how?”

“One kind of nerves is due to being slightly intimidated, maybe insecure even, at my own standing compared to yours. The other is due to the attraction I’m feeling—nerves like butterflies, if you will.”

“What caused your attraction towards me?” he asked, eyes lighting up with amusement. 

Now you leaned back in your chair, folding your arms over your chest with a coy smile. “Are you looking for compliments, General?” 

“I just want to know what I’m doing right with you,” Jing Yuan corrected, looking between his glass of wine and the dip of your dress in deep thought. “Perhaps so I can continue having your attraction.”

You almost laughed at his words. In what world would the general have to ask for anyone’s attention. Either he was flattering you or he was much less experienced with dating than you would’ve ever imagined. 

“Well, besides the obvious that is your looks, I like how you pull my chair out for me, how you fill my glass for me, how you maintain such strong eye contact,” you listed out the things you’ve noticed about Jing Yuan during your brief time with him this far, your gaze wandering around his face until they landed on his lush, pink lips, “how your lips stay in that lopsided smile…”

His eyes crinkled. “Staring at the general’s lips? That’s rather indecent, no?” 

“I’m sure he’s staring at mine, too. So it’s only fair.”

“I am.” Jing Yuan raised his hands in the air as if he was caught in the act. “And I find myself very attracted to you as well.”

“What do you find attractive about me?”

“Other than your lips?” he clarified with a chuckle. You laughed along at his teasing, watching as a more serious expression took over his face. “I’m attracted to how you present yourself with confidence and elegance yet can still grow shy with nerves and butterflies. Your honesty and openness is something I admire. I like the way you stick your pinky finger up when you drink. And how your eyes brighten when you smile...”

You were holding your breath by the end of it, waiting to hear what he had to stay. Jing Yuan had such a soft, yet commanding tone, fit for a general, but gentle enough to be a lover. 

“I haven’t been on many blind dates, but even so, this one has been my favorite,” you said, leaning forward as if you were whispering a secret to him. 

He matched your stance, his voice quiet as he murmured, “I haven’t been on any before this, but I don’t think I’ll go on any more.”

“Did I make the experience that bad for you?” you joked, a grin on your face. “Such that you never want to go on a blind date again?”

The general shook his head, though he knew your question wasn’t serious. You both knew how well this date was going. “Of course, that’s not it,” he said. “Lady Fu was simply correct. After this, I’ll never feel the need to go on one again.”

“Why?” Craning your neck to the side, you asked a question you knew the answer to. You just wanted to hear it straight from Jing Yuan’s pretty mouth. 

His lopsided smile widened and you were seconds away from leaning in further to kiss them. 

“Because,” he said slowly, the tip of his tongue wetting the corner of his mouth as his gaze stayed trained on yours, “I’ve already found what I’m looking for on the first one.”

[marasvenus]

Your Next Step In School/Career ┊ ༑ ࿐ྂ。

Disclaimer: This reading is for entertainment purposes only. Tarot readings are about possibilities based on your current energy. Energy is forever changing and nothing is set in stone. Always remember, you have your own free will to make whatever decision you feel is best.

Pictures above are edited by me but are not mine :)

Pile 1┊ ༑ ࿐ྂ。

Okay, Pile One, I think we have a bit to unpack here 😭 so for some of you, you might have just finished up with a degree, possibly a degree that’s taken a very long time to obtain. I think it could be some veterinary degree of sorts? That could only be for a few of you so take what resonates.

It’s gonna sort to get oddly specific here so pls bear with me 😭 you might be going back to your home town or maybe just somewhere you haven’t lived for a very long time. For some of you, you may have moved away from home to go to college and then moved away from that college to continue your education elsewhere and now you’re doing back to where this town that you went to this college is. (I hope that makes sense and again, it’s oddly specific so pls take what resonates and leave the rest!)

You may just be struggling to find work now that you’ve graduated and it could simply be that there’s not many jobs available where you currently live. For some of you, you might be applying to jobs where you’re moving to and not hearing anything back and it may be really stressing you out and causing you to rethink this decision.

I think you’re making the right decision and moving away is what’s best for you. A big part of the next step in your career is making connections within your field. Possibly on LinkedIn or by going out and meeting new people. I think putting yourself out there and meeting new people will be what gets you a job or maybe applying gets you the job but something about communication and making connections/building relationships gets you where you want to be. This whole energy is giving me hallmark movie vibes for some reason but it’s really nice.

The stress and anxiety you’re currently feeling is understandable and it’s okay to feel that. You may also be dealing with grief/loss. Know that it’s okay to feel these things and allow yourself to feel them. You may he pushing away emotions because you’re afraid to let yourself feel them and it’s doing more harm then good. There’s this feminine energy that may be a spirit guide or passed loved one for some of you that wants you to know you’re doing better than you realize and you’re going to be okay. Just breathe. I heard “it all works itself out with time”

This is another specific message that you should only take if it resonates but some of you may have savings that you may need to dip into a little and you may be worried about it. You don’t have to clear out your savings and it’s important to still be careful with your money but it’s okay if you need to use it for moving expenses or anything expenses you have when you arrive to your new home. This also might just be a heads up from your guides that you will be using some of these savings on unexpected moving expenses/expenses in your new place. Again, only take it if it resonates.

This reading is much longer than I intended and a little all over the place so I’ll leave it here but just know that everything is gonna be alright, Pile One.

Pile 2┊ ༑ ࿐ྂ。

Hello, Pile 2! So this energy is very different from Pile One. I think you all are just starting a new journey in school/career and are very excited but maybe nervous. Your nerves may be more about fitting in/making friends in this new setting. For those of you in college/university or entering college/university, definitely join clubs/groups. Specifically a study group. I think you’ll meet a lot of people and this will not only help with building friendships and meeting new people, but also with your studies/work and staying on track.

Coffee shops or some sort of small diners or something seem significant. Maybe like a Main Street restaurant or something? You could meet people here. Some of you may be coming out of a rough situation or maybe a breakup so this new start is a change to fully embrace and find yourself. Finding strength in alone time and independence while also creating beautiful connections and friendships and nurturing/maintaining those connections. Maybe this pervious situation/relationship was isolating and kept you away from people so this is really your chance to branch out and meet others and focus on yourself. You’ll meet people that encourage you to love yourself and build yourself up and it will be a really nice change of pace.

Some of you may start a new job? Possible a part time job while you’re in school. This may be where this cafe/Main Street restaurant or something comes in. It may be where you end up working. Some of you may have already seen job listings for a job like this but haven’t applied or are thinking about applying and I definitely think you should do it!

There’s just this energy here of a lot of new connections but there’s a specific one that seems very significant. I think you may be meeting your best friend in this next chapter of your life (specifically at this new job if that resonates) this isn’t giving romantic energy but it feels like a platonic soulmate. This is someone that will become like a sibling to you, like your favorite person and your other half. This is a very beautiful connection that you’re about to find, Pile Two 🥹

Overall, this is a very beautiful chapter for you and it’s important that you embrace it fully. The only thing I will say is that you may be very sure about your studies and think you’ll handle them very well (which is a great mindset to have and I want you to hold onto that mindset!) but they may become overwhelming and you could fall behind if you’re not careful. The study group I mentioned earlier will be very important and helpful in staying on top of things. You may push work aside to spend time with friends but just make sure to keep a good and equal balance between work and personal time.

Pile 3┊ ༑ ࿐ྂ。

Now this may not resonate for all of you… but are some of you messing around with your boss 👀 again.. take it if it resonates but there definitely seems to be something with a boss. For some of you, maybe you’re boss is just attracted to you or you’re attracted to your boss, maybe there’s rumors/gossip going around in the workplace about the two of you or something. I think you’ve been offered a promotion or you are about to be offered a promotion but maybe you don’t feel like you’ve earned it because of this situation or maybe others have said you haven’t earned it because of this situation. If this is the case, I wanna tell you know that you 100% deserve anything and everything good and amazing and beautiful coming your way and you better not let anyone tell you otherwise.

Your energy is so powerful and magnetic and it’s clear that you have an incredibly strong work ethic. Maybe you work in a field that’s dominated by the opposite gender or maybe you’re young compared to others in your field? It could also be that you took a different route to getting into your field but there’s something that sets you apart from others you work with. Anyone around you that has something to say or that doubts your excellence and work ethic is simply jealous. Everything you have is yours because your earned it. I wish I could put this energy into words because it’s so incredibly powerful and you deserve to feel every ounce of it. You hold so much more power than you realize or give yourself credit for.

Your energy would be so good to have going into a job interview 😭 you have a very go getter vibe about you but you’re also very blunt and you tell it how it is and some people may not be able to take that (and that’s on them. Don’t ever change) some people may fear you getting this promotion because they know it means they can’t slack off or get away with as much because you’ll be on top of things. I heard “you run a right ship” you’ll make sure things are done correctly and on time and that every member of your team is playing apart in keeping this running properly and smoothly. Higher ups in your company or like CEOs or something may take notice because you keep things running so smoothly and there’s a significant change and improvement within the company.

Whatever this situation is with a boss (again, take it as it applies and only if it resonates) may sort of fall apart after your promotion. I think it could have to do with you doing so much better than them and being favored over them by higher ups in your company/corporation. I think this thing ending would be a good thing cause I don’t like this boss’ energy AT ALL. It just doesn’t match yours like it should and quite honestly, your energy is way too good to be involved in this person’s energy. This person just feels very icky and immature and you deserve much better.

Overall, know that good things come to you because you work for them and you deserve them. You attracted amazing things because you are an amazing person and it’s not your problem if someone else can’t handle that. You are magnetic, powerful, and worthy of every amazing thing coming your way. Don’t doubt yourself and continue to further your career. You have an amazing work ethic and a very strong and powerful voice and those two things will take you so so far in life. If no one else has told you recently, I’m proud of you and you got this.

Lastly, I just wanted to add that those people that have something to say or dislike you rn are going to come around and love you after they get to know you more. It’s going to take time for them to realize that their dislike for you comes from their own insecurities but once they do, they will see you for the beautiful human being that you are. Don’t change anything about yourself, let them realize they’ve been wrong this whole time.

[hoedamn-eron]

sick bug

Silas is ill with a bug.

Warnings: As usual, Nathan is his own warning, but mentions of throw up so emetophobia warning. Mentions of breastfeeding (a fed baby is a happy baby, whether bottle or breast). One mention of Nathan drinking and being hungover. Slightly proofread. Word count: 1,296 F!Reader, no use of Y/N.

Yet another dad!Nathan one shot (this is the last one I have planned for now). A part of the same universe as Shut up, Kid and Bluey! but can also be a stand-alone.

You sigh tiredly as you walk into the kitchen, Silas plastered to your chest and gripping your shirt tightly with his little fists, where he was still fighting sleep after a restless night. He had barely eaten anything this morning, only managing half a slice of toast before he had cried for you again. You gave up any other sort of food for him and took him in your arms, letting him nurse from you, the only comfort he seems to want (you were more than willing to give it to him). Nathan was pouring you a cup of coffee, feeling like you need it after the 12 hours you’d had (you wish you could inhale cup after cup, but the thought of pumping and dumping gives you hives). 

“He settled?” Nathan asks, passing you the cup as he glanced at Silas, his dark eyes looking at his son with concern. 

“Just about,” you mutter, taking the cup and having a sip as you lightly sway Silas. 

You’d been up all night with your son; he’d been hit with some sort of sickness bug and had you up from midnight, where he had started screaming before immediately throwing up in his crib. Nathan had a meeting in the afternoon, so you’d taken your son and tried to settle him, but after a while you just ended up in the living room, trying to settle him with water and snuggles on the couch. Silas – thankfully – stopped throwing up at about 4am, and had fought sleep ever since, just wanting to be with (on) you, with your breast in his mouth at all times. 

You feel dead on your feet as you drink your coffee, but you daren’t take a seat. The moment you stop moving, Silas will scream the place down again. You continue to sway, almost putting yourself in a trance as you drink your coffee. 

“You look like shit.” 

 “Thanks,” you deadpan, ignoring his cursing. You’re too tired to even scold him for it. 

“I’ll take him,” Nathan says, taking a step towards you. “You go and sleep.” 

“You have the board meeting today – “ 

“Already cancelled it,” he said, gently wrapping his hands around Silas to lift him from you. 

Your shoulders sag in relief as Nathan takes Silas. As soon as the kid knows what’s happening, he immediately starts to cry, stretching his arms out to you as big, fat tears roll down his cheeks. Soon he’s openly sobbing, his voice hoarse from all the crying he’d already done. 

It breaks your heart, but you need to go and sleep. 

“Mama loves you sweetie, but I need to go to bed,” you say to Silas, wiping his tears away as Nathan holds him. “You’ll get lots of cuddles from dada.” 

Silas continues to cry as you give Nathan a quick peck before you disappear quickly towards your bedroom. Out of sight, out of mind (in Silas’s case, anyway). 

Nathan felt Silas’s forehead, satisfied that the kid didn’t have a fever, but picked up the bottle of Tylenol just in case. He got a sippy cup and filled it with water, before looking at Silas. “Come on bud, let’s go sit down,” Nathan says gently, before walking from the kitchen into the living room, medicine and sippy cup in his hand free hand. “We can watch some Bluey, huh? We like Bluey.” 

Silas’s cries soon turned into small whimpers as Nathan places the cup and medicine down within reach and grabs a blanket that was bundled up on the other side of the couch, which was coincidentally hiding Silas’s favourite pacifier (which was promptly placed in Silas’s mouth). Nathan gets them both settled on the couch wrapped in the soft blanket, which faintly smelled of you and Silas, before turning the TV on, switching to Bluey. 

Silas goes quiet from his place on Nathan’s lap, laying his head against father’s shoulder as he watches the TV, his eyes still watery from unshed tears. After a few moments, he subconsciously reaches up and threads his fingers through Nathan’s beard, just holding on lightly. Nathan was used to it, and it comforted the kid. It wasn’t like it hurt. Silas did the same with your hair when it was in reach. 

After a while, Nathan stroked Silas’s back lightly, finding his own comfort in the closeness of his son. He never thought he’d be doing this; being a dad, sat on the TV and watching a cartoon of a family of dogs. He didn’t see his life going in this direction, settling down and having kids, and Hell, he even enjoys it. It wasn’t until he met you that he even started thinking about these things. 

Nathan gives a small huff through his nose as he takes out the pacifier and offers Silas some water from the sippy cup, which the kid accepts, taking a few sips as his eyes don’t leave the TV screen. The kid looks just as exhausted as you. 

“You feelin’ better, kid?” Nathan said to Silas before turning back to the TV. “Been there bud. Before I had you, when you were just swimmin’ around in my nutsack, before you were even a possibility, I had killer hangovers all the time. Your mom hated it, she always had to tidy up my shit after. It’s not the same, but it still didn’t feel great.” 

Silas doesn’t even react as he held the sippy cup in his hands, watching the TV. Wordlessly, Nathan took the cup back and placed the pacifier back in Silas’s mouth. It wasn’t a few seconds later that Silas buried himself back into Nathan’s shoulder, watching Bluey again, his fingers curling back into Nathan’s beard. 

Nathan went back to stroking Silas’s back for a while, but he soon felt Silas suddenly get heavier. He looks down and sees that his son had fallen asleep, his restless night finally catching up with him. Nathan lightly chuckled to himself, before releasing Silas’s fingers from his beard and trying not to jostle Silas too much as he manoeuvred the kid into a more comfortable position. 

He freezes for a moment when Silas makes a small noise of protest, but Nathan relaxes as his son settles back down. 

Nathan just stares at him for a few moments, still baffled that this kid, this kid, was his. His journey into unexpected love and fatherhood had been a tangled web of conflicting emotions, and challenging, to put it nicely. And he wouldn’t change a Goddamn thing about it. As a man who was engrained in his own brilliance and seclusion, he never foresaw himself entangled in such human...complexities. He made this kid, and not with his genius, or in his lab (although the opportunity was there). He made this kid with you. 

Fuck, he loves you so much he willingly made a kid with you. 

He sighs in content as he sits back on the couch, his head leaning on the back of it. He closes his eyes, happy to just sit and feel the rise and fall of Silas breathing against his chest. 

Hours later, you emerge from the bedroom with a yawn, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. It's suspiciously quiet. You were half expecting the sounds of an upset infant. You walk towards the living room, where you pause, your heart melting at the sight. 

Nathan was fast asleep on the couch, his head hanging over the back, his hands securely on Silas’s back as the kid sleeps against Nathan’s chest, one hand in Nathan’s beard, the other curled up towards his own chest. Bluey was still playing on the TV at a low volume.

You snap a quick photo, giggling quietly to yourself. You deem it Nathan’s newest desktop wallpaper. 

[stxrlostseung]

falling, fallen · kim seungmin 🪼

falling, fallen : chapter two 📎

academic rivals to lovers (seungmin x fem!reader)

word count: 2.1k

warning(s) : mild swearing, fluff, angst (?)

← chapter 1

🪼 a.n: OMDS I AM SO SORRY FOR THE LATE UPLOAD 😭😭 got caught up with some stuff this weekend.... enjoy this one though !! pls keep supporting tysmm 🤍

“do the project with me.”

you froze on the spot, staring at his arm which gripped the chair once again, covered with his navy jacket sleeve and stopping you from leaving.

“what?” you demanded, stepping back and meeting his brown eyes, covered by his thin blonde bangs. by this time many of the remaining students in the lecture hall had stopped to listen to your conversation, probably wanting to get front row seats to some university tea.

seungmin only shrugged in return. “i don’t have a partner,” he quirked his thumb towards the six other guys in his group, who were bickering about something behind him in their chairs. you assumed that they had already paired themselves up. lucky them.

you rolled your eyes. “don’t you have other friends in the class? ask them, you idiot,” you tried to walk past him again, unsuccessful once more.

his arm had returned to the chair. “well, you don’t have a partner either, do you?” seungmin raised a single eyebrow, his eyes still on you.

you sighed. he had a point, you didn’t.

but you couldn’t give in. 

never in a million years would you work on a project with your sworn rival since high school, kim seungmin.

“that doesn’t give you a reason to partner up with me,” you countered, scowling at him.

seungmin scoffed in return. “you’re just so dumb sometimes,” he crossed his arms and rolled his eyes.

“i’m not a mirror.” this time, you successfully walked past him, taking advantage of his arm-crossing.

“hey! i just don’t have a partner, and i need one,” he followed closely behind you, whining like a child.

you rushed out of the lecture hall and into the bustling campus sidewalk, looking around with your hand above your forehead to shield the blinding sun.

when you looked back after a few moments, seungmin was still standing a bit behind you, arms crossed again and lips pursed.

“you’ll fail without a partner,” seungmin stated simply, eyebrows raised.

you heart dropped. he knew grades were your weakness. you’d do anything to get a good grade on any school assignment. 

but in the present moment, you wanted to give up on that one simple A+, the satisfying 100/100.

running away was on the long list of things you wanted to do right now.

however, losing an argument was not on that list.

“shut up, you’re so annoying,” you muttered, determined to win over the argument. you start to walk away towards your next destination, wanting to ditch seungmin, when your wrist was grabbed.

the sudden movement caused you to stumble back and struggled to maintain your balance. 

another hand, from the same person whose arm was on your wrist, flew to your other arm, catching you just in time.

your eyes widened as you turned back and saw seungmin.

with one hand still wrapped around your wrist.

he let go of your arm when you regained your balance.

“what are you—” you were cut off when he lifted your hand and dropped a piece of paper into your palm. you frowned, confused as you stared at the paper.

“call me if you change your mind,” seungmin closed your fingers around the piece of paper and shrugged nonchalantly.

you were left standing there, skin tingling and cheeks burning as you watch him walk away and back into the lecture hall.

what in the world just happened?

—————————

that day, you gave up—temporarily, as you may add—on your lifelong vow to be antisocial.

you texted every person who was at the lecture that morning, asking if they wanted to partner up for the project assigned.

as long as anyone said yes, anyone else, you could escape from working with seungmin.

kim freaking seungmin.

you swore on your single relationship status that you would never work with him.

but you got more and more anxious after every “oh sorry, i have a partner already” or any variation of that statement from a classmate, popping up on your phone screen. it didn’t help that much when a large amount of people didn’t even respond.

as you went down the list, the amount of remaining students you had to text decreasing slowly, a feeling of dread creeped into your stomach. 

this couldn’t happen.

that denying statement was proved wrong when you reached the end of the list, and a girl politely turned down your offer to work together.

you ended up laying face down on the bed in your single-person dorm, rethinking all your life decisions.

you groaned as you flipped onto your back, death staring the ceiling and hoping it would crumble down on you any second.

plot twist: it didn’t.

when you finally decided to sit up, you grabbed your phone from the bedside table with the piece of paper seungmin had given you earlier that day. it turned out to be his phone number, scrawled across it in a rush.

your face curled up in resentment as you realized you’d have to call or text him.

hopefully, text would work. your stomach churned at the thought of calling seungmin.

you typed in his number onto your phone and added him to your contacts—which you would have never done if given a choice, obviously.

you tapped on the “text” button and your mouth turned up into a sneer when the words “kim seungmin has notifications silenced” popped up.

well, what a surprise. how shocking. for someone as social as him, it was surprise if he even turned off his phone, much less turned off notifications.

scoffing, you turned to the only solution that had a chance of working right now.

your thumb hovered over the “call number” button on the top of the screen, a nervous feeling suddenly seeping into you.

your stomach felt like it was a bucket dropping slowly to the bottom of the well.

you took a deep breath before tapping on the button and putting your phone to your ear. someone picked up after a few rings.

but before the person on the other end of the line could say anything, you spoke.

“when do you want to start working on the project?”

—————————

never in a thousand years would you have imagined yourself walking towards the university library to work on a partnered project.

nor would you have imagined that the person you were working on the project with was kim seungmin.

it was a sunny day, and you and seungmin had agree—after an argument, of course—to work at the library starting the weekend after you reluctantly gave in to working on the project with him in the name of your grades.

and only in the name of your grade.

you checked the time on your watch as you ran up the stairs to the university library. it was just past noon.

backpack slung over one shoulder and a binder in your arms, you entered the sleek modern building, university students scattered around in front of tables and bookshelves.

you looked around for the blonde you’re supposed to meet, but he was nowhere in sight and you took an empty table near a window, placing your backpack under the table. sighing, you then left to look for some books related to the project.

books of different shapes, colors, and sizes lined the old bookshelves of the university. even though the library was generally cleaned on a regular basis, the wooden material of the bookshelves indicated its old age, intertwined with the its long history.

you slide your fingers gently along the book spines as you walk through the rows of shelves in the library, searching for the books you needed. 

15 minutes later, you only needed one left.

after walking back and forth through the different rows, scouting for the familiar brown cover, you ended up staring up at it, nestled in the top level of the bookshelf.

which conveniently turned out to be way higher than what your height could reach.

talk about being short.

you frantically looked around in the next few rows for a ladder or stool of some sort to let you reach the book, but it had no result. you returned to the row where the book belonged.

you cringed as you tried to stand up on your tiptoes, straining your neck and arm to get the book. people behind threw you curious glances, and your cheeks reddened of embarrassment.

just as you were about to give up and ask a library volunteer to help, a hand from behind you snatched the book right out of its place on the shelf.

“hey! that was my—“ you spun around, facing the culprit. 

only to be cut off when you realized that you were staring up at a certain blond whose face was dangerously close to yours.

you could practically count every strand of his bangs that brushed against his eyelashes.

your face burned up when you realized you were staring at his face. you step out of your previous position with him leaning over you, coughing awkwardly, temperature rising strangely quick.

“so, when’d you get here?” you stare at the ground, cheeks still red, and gripping the side of the bookshelf.

seungmin straightened up his posture. he raised the book, which was now in his hand, patting it on your head and resulting in a scowl from you.

“just now,” he shrugged and shoved his free hand inside his pocket. “i got some coffee for us from downstairs.”

you roll your eyes at him. “we better start studying, you dummy, or i’m leaving your group.” you promptly stalked away towards the library tables.

you forcefully push down the strange feeling that had just entered your stomach as you walked away.

when you reached the spot you scouted earlier, seungmin dropped his own backpack onto the ground, two cups of coffee were sitting on the table. you grabbed both and read the orders as you sat down, a printed sticker stuck onto the paper material of the cup.

“this one’s yours,” he pointed to one of the cups.

“latte with a shot of vanilla? how’d you know it’s my usual?” i frowned, confused.

“oh, uh—” seungmin nervously laughed. “i didn’t know that, i just ordered something i thought you’d like.”

you looked at him, clueless. he took his plain white out of your hands and took a sip, leaving only the latte within your grip.

“so, let’s get started, shall we?” seungmin fished his laptop out of his bag as he sat down across from you.

you nod, sliding the coffee away from me and grabbing a book from the pile.

the next hour was filled with silent note-taking and researching, although your mind kept traveling to the moment at the bookshelves earlier.

it was as if your body had been charged with a kind of energy, which caused your body to react in strange ways that you’d never felt before.

your stomach had been very weirdly tingly somehow, and your cheeks would not cool down no matter how many deep breaths you took.

seungmin suddenly reaches for his coffee next to his notebook, the movement causing you to look up at him with the tip of your pen mid-sentence on your own notebook.

you observe the blond, unbeknownst to himself.

he’s sitting so that you can see his side profile clearly. his eyes are focused on the book, which he’s holding one-handedly, coffee cup in the other one. 

the sun seeping from the window hits seungmin’s face at the perfect angle, making it look like he was glowing. it reflects on the surface of his eyes, as if his eyes were filled with bright stars.

it was strangely… mesmerizing.

“you want a picture?”

you snap out of your thoughts, face reddening for the nth time today.

“huh?” you frown at seungmin, who was now looking at you.

“i mean, you’ve been staring for quite a while now,” he smirks and sets the coffee cup back onto the table. “a picture lasts longer, you know.”

you scowl at him. “no thanks.” you immediately stand up after. “i’m going to go to the bathroom,” you inform him then walk away.

the second you reach the bathroom, you go in front of the mirror across the wall in front of the sinks.

you splash water onto your face, attempting to refresh yourself and snap out of whatever the hell just happened.

y/n, what was that?? what the just happened to you?

all the weird ways you were reacting to the simplest gestures from seungmin, they didn't make sense.

seungmin was your rival.

you hated him.

but unbeknowst to you, there would be a question that you would come across and be forced to ponder on soon:

did you really?

🎧 ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ taglist is open <33 please leave a request in comments if you'd like to be added !!

[anakin-pilled]

𝘨𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘰𝘶𝘴 - anakin skywalker x fem! reader (part two)

pairing: anakin skywalker x fem! reader

wordcount: 4.7k

warnings: no use of y/n

rating: rating: 18+ (my blog is 18+ only)

author's note: thank you so much to everyone who liked and reblogged the first chapter! it meant so much to me. i cant believe i managed to push out two chapters in a week!! this chapter might seem slow, but only because im still new to writing fanfics and im trying to find the right groove of things, but please be patient as i hope to fasten the pace and tension with the new few chapters. as always, proofread but please let me know if you see any mistakes and feel free to nicely provide any criticism or suggestions (pls). i really want to keep everything as canon compliant to the star wars universe (minus the timeline, that's unspecified), but i decided to take some creative liberties for minor cultural and geographic details. i get most of my information from wookiepedia or the star wars reddit, so if you have any questions about anything, i'm happy to send any links. okay im gonna stop yapping now. taglist at the bottom! creds to saradika for the header!

You couldn’t bear another moment of dinner with Anakin. Something about him set your nerves on fire and left you completely unsettled–in a good way, a way that you’ve rarely felt before. But it was a way that you didn’t know how to deal with, and this deeply troubled you. How were you going to spend the next ten rotations with him? It sounded like a disaster waiting to happen. You doubted Anakin would do anything wrong. No, you would be the one to do something wrong. Totally embarrassing yourself in front of him or unintentionally acting off-putting just because you found him too attractive.

Dammit, you were thinking like a schoolgirl with a crush. 

After retreating to your quarters, you began to pace around your room. You had to get yourself out of this situation. Avoidance was always your favorite escape plan. It made life simpler when you avoided anything that made you uncomfortable or anxious. You weren’t exactly sure how you would avoid the 6’2 hunk of a Jedi. Asking Gido to remove him was out of the question. You couldn’t have Anakin removed, especially after the Chancellor had been kind enough to request one of the Jedi’s best members. You were being immature and you knew it. It hadn’t even been a full day and this man already made you so nervous that you felt like going haywire. 

You gave yourself a small facepalm. “What am I going to do?” you whispered to yourself. You needed to put distance between you and Anakin. That way you would stay as unaffected as possible. Plus, it’s not like anything could happen between you two. Anakin was a Jedi, and you knew that the Jedi had some unorthodox rules surrounding relationships. However (a small and delusional) part of you already imagined a future between the two of you.  You already imagined your lips on his. A man that captivating only came around every few millennia. Well, that was hyperbolic of you to think. Even you, a celebrity with access to Coruscant’s rich and famous upper echelon, never came across a man like Anakin. When was the last time you even got fucked or had one good Holodrama kiss? Dating is hard when you’re a celebrity. You meet people with the wrong intentions–cocky men who care more about having you as some sort of trophy or are afraid of looking beneath you just because you’re more rich than them. Plus, aside from the shitty dating pool, you were simply too busy with your career to indulge in relationships and sex. It honestly quite was ironic considering many of your songs revolved around love. 

The more you thought, the more you felt trapped in your room. An intrusive thought popped into your head, but you quickly brushed away the thought before it got you in trouble. But then the thought appeared again, and you couldn’t help but entertain what your brain was saying.

Her presence is suffocating is the first thing Anakin thought as you left the room. As a trained Jedi, Anakin mastered the practice of shielding others' thoughts and emotions from affecting him. But you were being so loud through the Force. Anakin felt the same nervous energy he felt earlier in the day when he first met you. Except this time, he felt it ten times worse. 

Anakin knew he was being quiet during dinner. But it was hard to focus with your energy screaming in his ears! So, he focused on trying to enjoy his meal instead. You were nice, Anakin would give you that. But he felt if he talked to you, while also trying to stave off your energy from his, he would overwhelm himself. It was all too distracting–a feeling that Anakin rarely felt. 

Anakin then proceeded toward his assigned room, ready to prepare for the night. Luckily, he didn’t have to stay on guard the entire night as there was no threat direct threat to you in Coruscant. Sleep slowly became a stranger to Anakin in the past few months, so he welcomed the guest room’s luxurious, canopy bed with an unrefined flop. He lay there for a while, though he didn’t know how for long as he just stared at the window in front of him and thought. 

Anakin suddenly heard a crash! noise coming from the living room. He quickly jumped into action and ran towards the sound. What if an intruder was trying to harm you? Anakin wouldn’t let them get near you. Though he would protect you, a pang of annoyance ran through Anakin’s head. How could anyone gain access to your apartment? He went through your security details with Gido and made sure that all access points were being guarded by either a security guard or a droid. Anakin hoped this wouldn’t become another Padme situation–he wasn’t in the mood for a high-speed speeder chase tonight. Better yet, why didn’t he sense anything? Were you distracting him so much that his senses were dull? Anakin couldn’t have that happening if you were both to survive the next ten rotations together. 

As Anakin reached your living room and investigated the sound, he saw what object made the sound he heard. His eyes first laid sight on a broken flower vase. The turquoise vase was shattered into a million pieces on the floor. Anakin then looked at the figure next to the broken pottery and there you were, dressed in a dark robe, halfway to the entrance of your apartment. A look of shock, then brief fear and then embarrassment, went through your eyes when you saw Anakin standing before you with his arms crossed over his chest and his eyebrows raised. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” Anakin questioned you with a glare. His voice had a deep edge to it. He was relieved that there was no intruder, but he wondered what you were doing. If he didn’t know any better, Anakin would say that it looked like you were in the middle of trying to leave your apartment. Except, Anakin did know better so he knew that was exactly what you were trying to do. The dark robes were a telltale sign of this–it disguised your figure and the hood covered a majority of your face. 

You cleared your throat before putting on a tight-lipped smile, “Oh, I was just trying to night walk in the gardens before going to bed.”

“The gardens? I thought they were closed for renovations. That’s what Gido told me.” There was a slight smirk on Anakin’s face as he replied. He knew he had you.

“Not for me. I have special access…you know, the building manager is a fan of mine. Perks of being famous.” You felt slimy using that as an excuse, but it was better than letting the Jedi know your true intentions. 

“Really?” Anakin admired you for doubling down on your lie, but once again, he could sense your energy through the force. You were hesitant, like you weren’t fully convinced of what you were saying either. Anakin continued, “Then why are you wearing such a thick robe? The weather has been warm lately, even at night. Don’t you think that you would sweat too much?” 

You chuckled nervously before saying, “I sweat all the time.” You quickly shook your head. Kriff that’s not what I meant! you cursed in your head. “I mean I’m used to sweating during practice and performances so it does not bother me too much. I felt chilly which is why I decided to wear my robe on my walk. Please excuse me for disturbing you, General. I must have been in such a rush that I accidentally knocked over this vase. I assure you that I did not intend to raise any alarm.”

“It looks like you were sneaking out to me. Is that why you feel so tense right now? You know, we Jedi can sense emotion. I can sense that you’re not being truthful. There’s no lying to me, pop star.” Anakin replied smoothly. 

You shook your head. It looks like your plan of trying to put distance between you and Anakin wasn’t going to work after all. You should have known–how could you outsmart a Jedi? It was easy to sneak out with your regular security staff, but Anakin was different. 

“I apologize. You’re right. I wasn’t going to take a walk in the gardens. I thought I could visit the night market on level 3204, the Alderaan district. I just needed to clear my head. I didn’t tell because I didn’t think there would be an issue since I was going to keep my identity hidden.” Anakin noted how your apology sounded genuine. 

“Level 3204. Isn’t that a bit far from you? I never suspected that you would stray anywhere past the 5000th level,” said Anakin. When people on Coruscant managed to achieve enough wealth to live on the 5000th level of Coruscant, it was very rare that they ventured anywhere below. The only people that ventured below were those dealing in shady business. That’s not to say that the 3000th level was necessarily bad–he knew that the lower levels were a mixture of the classes ranging from middle-class families to criminals. Anakin had been to almost all the levels of Corscant while on Jedi business. He had seen the most impoverished slums, where crime was rampant and everyone fended for themselves. Yet, he had also seen the richest that Coruscant had to offer–elegant restaurants, opulent theaters, and people dressed in the most expensive fabrics. It always amazed Anakin how in the capital city of the Republic, one of the richest planets in the galaxy, could house such a dichotomy. 

You took offense to Anakin’s words. What did he know about you? Sure, you were wealthy and privileged, but that didn’t mean you had to confine yourself to a small circle of society. You enjoyed visiting what Coruscant had to offer–the different cultures, species, etc. It may have been unconventional for someone of your status, but your parents raised you with humility. Anything you earned in this life could be taken away from you at any moment, so you tried your best to explore and enjoy everything while you still could. 

Now you weren’t thinking about this annoyingly handsome face or soft curls. You were thinking about how he pissed you off. Just another person making assumptions about who I am. Your eyes narrowed before dignifying Anakin with a response, “And where is it that I belong? Please enlighten me. What? Do you think just because I am rich, I wouldn’t dare mingle with anyone in a lower class than me?”

“That’s not how I intended my words to come across.”

“How did you mean for your words to come across?” Anakin felt your energy shift. You were no longer hesitant or nervous. 

“What I mean is that it is unorthodox for celebrities to venture anywhere below Coruscant’s surface. It’s not exactly the most celebrity-friendly place. I would know as I’ve to the 3000th level several times before,” Anakin explained.

“Well, I’m an unorthodox person then. I’ll let you know that I enjoy the night market in the Alderaan district, it has good food and honest people. Now, you can either accompany me or stay here and make more assumptions about me. Whatever you choose, I will still be attending the night market. Feel free to tell Gido.” You turned around and continued walking toward your front door before you were stopped by Anakin. 

“Kriff. You’re not going to make this easy, huh? Fine. I’m going with you to the market because it’s my duty to protect you, but don’t try anything.”

You first discovered this night market in Coruscant’s Alderaan district only a few months into your arrival on the planet. Your fame had not skyrocketed yet, so you could easily travel between Coruscant’s levels without being chased by HoloNet reporters or crazy fans. You stumbled upon the market one night while lost on level 3204. It was a serendipitous moment for you. The night market operated every night and was primarily inhabited by Alderaanian expats, however, there were a few stalls run by species from exotic planets who sold even more exotic goods and foods. At the time you discovered it, you were feeling homesick and lonely. Your home planet of Bar’leth was nothing like Coruscant. Though Bar’leth had some metropolitan cities, it also had greenery and fauna. And the population wasn’t nearly as dense as Coruscant! You grew up in Bar’leth’s capital city, but you could still name your neighbors and there was a sense of community. Coruscant had none of these features. The night market was more than just a market, it reminded you of a tiny piece of home in the most bustling place in all of the galaxy. 

The familiar smell of grilled bantha skewers and roasted pormork flooded your senses. The area was decorated with a mixture of bright, fluorescent neon lighting and the warm, cozy light from twinkle lights from the vendor’s stalls. Light music played in the background from a live band playing in a corner somewhere. Though the market was mainly filled with adults, the occasional child and their family were seen. You and Anakin walked at a comfortable place in the middle of the road. Neither of you was talking, just observing the scene around you. You observed how people interacted with each other and made up life stories for them in your head. Anakin observed for any potential danger. 

“I’m sorry for snapping on you earlier. I hate when people make assumptions about who I am. It’s a sensitive spot for me. You know, with my name always in the tabloids,” it was you who decided to speak first. 

Anakin listened before responding, “Maybe I was wrong to make those assumptions about you.” He still thought it was odd that you wanted to venture so below the surface, but if there was one thing that Anakin understood, it was your disdain for assumptions. As the Chosen One, everyone made assumptions about Anakin—assumptions he should act or think. And somehow, Anakin always failed to live up to people’s assumptions of him. There were very few people in his life who accepted him the way he was. This was another point of contention in his life. 

Instead of letting this event take place in a silent awkwardness like dinner, you decided to make an effort to keep the conversation going. Anakin didn’t directly apologize, but you took his words to be a positive sign. “I know it must be a shock to you that I wanted to visit this market. And you were partially right to judge, who would suspect that I stray far from my life on the surface? The truth is, no one would expect that from me which is exactly why I do what I do. Not even Gido knows that I come down here.” 

“What makes this specific place worth sneaking out for? Aren’t there any other places you would rather be than down here?” Anakin asked this question sincerely. He was curious about you. While he was no stranger to Coruscant’s rich elite, the people he met were confined the the political sector.  He knew how politicians acted and their thought processes, but he knew nothing about the other type of elite—the celebrities, like you. 

“It reminds me of home, and the simple days I used to live before the glitz and glamour. There was a farmer’s market on Bar’leth I frequented with my family. There was local produce, lots of gourmet food, and trinkets of all kinds. I stumbled upon this market by happenstance one day and I never stopped visiting it ever since,” you explain truthfully. You loved the life you lived now and you were extremely grateful for it. But nothing could compare to your old life when you could enjoy the simple pleasures of life without any care in the world. Nowadays life barely gives you a chance to breathe since you were always working on something–whether it is new music, media appearances, or special performances. “You know, you’re actually the first person I have told about this place. You better keep it a secret, or else.” Anakin could tell you were joking by the smile on your face. He returned your joke with a small smile of his own.

You continued the conversation by asking Anakin a question of his own, “Don’t you have a special place that you like to visit when life gets too hectic?”

Anakin’s automatic response was to give you a generic answer. Before he could give you that generic answer, he changed his mind. He knew that was too guarded, but he couldn’t help himself. Anakin had been hurt too many times now–hurt by life, by his actions, and by the actions of others. Opening up was a recipe for disaster, especially when Anakin knew how passionately he felt about almost everything in his life. The only person Anakin managed to completely open up to was Padme, but even she was off-put sometimes by the level of passion and truthfulness he displayed. She never verbally admitted it, but Anakin could tell. Though you two didn’t know each other very well and have had minimal conversation so far, something about your energy invited Anakin to open up. Your energy in the force was serene. However, it wasn’t the type of serenity that Anakin felt whenever he was at the Temple. At the Temple, it was so peaceful, it was almost like it was devoid of any energy–it perfectly balanced all the energies of all the Jedi order and created a feeling of equilibrium. Your energy was serene in a way that reminded Anakin of his mother–comforting and warm. He could feel it radiating off your person. Ever since Anakin left with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, he could never sense that same energy in anyone else. Not even Padme, whose energy was more dynamic and loud. Thus, Anakin decided to be honest with his answer. 

“There is a place that I like to escape to sometimes. It is located in a secluded corner of the Jedi temple and only accessible through the garden wing. I used to go there all the time as a Youngling and then a Padawan. It has the best view of Coruscant since it faces the intersection where the old Republic Theater house and Senate offices meet. On clear days, you can watch the sunset from there.” Anakin didn’t know that the Senate offices were in that direction until a few years after he moved to Coruscant. Once he found out Padme had stepped down as queen and became Naboo’s senator, he would stare at that intersection as a way to feel closer to Padme during their years apart. Despite the breakup, the spot still comforted Anakin because it served as a reminder of how far he had come. He was no longer a lovesick fool and rambunctious Padawan, but a mature and fully-fledged Jedi Knight. Through the transitional nature of life, that spot would always be there for Anakin. 

It was your turn to nod and listen to Anakin.

“How was it like…growing up in the Temple?,” you hesitated, not wanting to overstep any boundaries with Anakin. You remember how the tone of his voice earlier when you questioned him about Tatooine. 

“Growing up in the temple was…different. When I first arrived, I didn’t realize I would be living in a religious organization. There’s a lot about the Jedi that was very different from the life I lived on Tatooine. Though I can’t complain too much, I had a permanent roof over my head and food on my plate every day. And, there was practically no sand at all. The best part,” Anakin finished. 

“I imagine it’s like one big family, no?”

Anakin sucked his teeth in response before continuing, “Since I arrived at the Temple later than the normal age, I didn’t grow up with my crèche. We had lessons together every now and then, but if there was anybody I considered like family to be in the Temple, it would be my former master Obi-Wan, and my Padawan Ashoka. She’s actually a  fan—I promised her I would try to get an autograph.” Anakin looked sheepish at the mention of the autograph.  

“Remind me before you leave. I’ll make sure to sign something. Should I sign her lightsaber?” You made sure to make a serious face while looking at Anakin. Then, you let out a giggle. “I’m only kidding about the last part. Come on, let’s get something sweet.” Your pace picked up before leading Anakin in another direction. 

You stopped by a stall owned by an older Twi’lek lady who sold homemade rishi honeystix. The honeystix quickly became your favorite item at the market because of its’ sweet flavor and crispy batter. They were similar to a childhood favorite snack of yours, except the rishi honeystix was fried, not baked. 

“Can I have two honeystix please?” you asked the owner. She nodded yes before you handed her over the credits, adding some extra for a tip. The owner quickly prepared the dessert before handing it to you and sending a warm smile to both.

“Enjoy the sweet treat! I love seeing young couples like you visit the market,” she stated with a look of adoration on her face. 

You and Anakin straightened your postures and sent a sheepish smile to the owner. 

“Oh, we’re not-” “She’s not my-” You both said at the same time. 

The owner giggled out an apology before turning her back on the both of you and preoccupied herself with preparing more food. 

Her comment affected you more than you would have liked to admit. You couldn’t say you wished you were dating Anakin, you hard knew him after all. But the idea of someone mistaking you to be in a relationship with someone as attractive as Anakin made you feel a funny feeling. You felt a moment of giddy before telling yourself to calm down. 

You led Anakin toward an old fountain that sat in the middle of the market. “Ever tried these before? They’re the best! I don’t come here too often anymore, but whenever I do, I make an effort to buy these.” You then handed Anakin his dessert. 

“I don’t think I have had these before. The Jedi diet consists of the Temple’s cantina food and whatever rations we have for off-world assignments. Though I try to explore new foods when I have the chance,” Anakin stated. He picked up the dessert and observed it. Anakin didn’t have much of a sweet tooth, but he was intrigued by its flavor. A sweet aroma wafted off the dessert and even Anakin felt tempted to try it. 

You were looking toward the distance as Anakin inspected the dessert. You were about to take a bit of your honeystix when you made eye contact with a small figure in the distance. As your eyes focused on the figure, you realized you were looking at a young Rodian child. Their gaze shifted from your eyes to the dessert in hand. Despite the Alderaanian district being one of the more wealthy districts in the lower levels, many families still lived in borderline poverty. You smiled at the child in reassurance before getting up from the fountain and slowly making your way towards them.

Anakin looked up at the sound of your figure getting up and was about to ask you where you were going before he saw you walk to a child and kneel before them. He couldn’t hear what you were saying, but he saw you hand over your honeystix to the child. You hugged the child goodbye, but not before handing them a few extra credits. The child’s purple eyes widened and a bright smile appeared on their face. They gave you another hug before retreating to wherever they came from. 

You got back up from the ground and walked back toward the fountain without saying anything to Anakin. You continued like nothing happened and asked Anakin, “Did you enjoy it?”

He ignored your question. “What was that about?” He was referring to the instance in which you gave away your dessert to a child. 

“I saw the little one looking at my food, so I decided to go over there and offer it to them. I could tell she was hungry. It’s alright, I can always buy myself another.”

Anakin always believed that you could tell a lot about a society or individuals based on the way they treated children. He hated Tatooine and regarded it as one of the lowest civilized planets in the entire galaxy–for many reasons, of course, but the primary reason is that those on Tatooine had no issue trafficking children into slavery and treating them as chattel. He wished that more people displayed kindness toward him as a child. Anakin’s only crime was being born into the world, but aside from that, he was innocent and deserved to be treated with dignity and humanity. You were kind. It seemed like a bare minimum requirement to be astonished at, but with the type of people Anakin has had the displeasure of meeting, kindness was a trait he rarely witnessed outside of the Temple walls. 

You stared at Anakin as if you were waiting for him to say something, but he simply observed your face without saying anything. A timid look washed over your face before you turned your head to the side and blew a piece of hair out of your face. 

“Well, I think it’s time we head back.” 

Being with Anakin was different than you expected. At first, you were overwhelmed by his presence–caught off guard by the fact he looked like a literal god from one of those classical paintings located in one of Corucant’s largest art galleries. You’ve always had a soft spot for pretty boys. Plus, you also had a penchant for romanticizing almost every interaction and person in your life. Not always in the romantic sense though. From brief strangers to friends, you tried to put a positive spin on everyone you encountered. There was no way of telling if fate was real, but you liked to believe so. Anakin was no exception to these rules. 

You were so close to successfully sneaking out of your apartment, without being detected, until you accidentally bumped into that stupid vase. Anakin came running out while you scrambled to make it look like you hadn’t been caught in the middle of doing something you weren’t supposed to be doing. You knew that if Anakin found out that you were leaving the building, he would either force you to say or contact your manager. So, you lied and tried to convince him you weren’t sneaking out. Of course, he saw through you and you gave up without a fight, until he made that stupid comment. Lying was never your strong suit anyway and it wasn’t worth the hassle anyway. So, Anakin joined you on your night adventure. 

Though you were initially anxious, once to got to the market, you felt your head clear. This was your comfort place, and it soothed your racing heart and clouded mind. Once you were past that anxiousness, you found that Anakin had a calming presence, once you got over your initial nerves. Anakin was observational, though it was expected of him to be so. However, it felt like he was really listening to you and clinging to what you said. He looked pensive as you described why you liked the night market so much. You wanted to make conversation with him, you didn’t feel forced to. Maybe it was the nature of the predicament you were both and the fact that he would be your bodyguard for the next week and a half, but you felt drawn to him. You wanted to know more about who the “Hero with No Fear.” You feared that if you got to know him anymore, then you might fall for him.  Except, you had to stop yourself before it went any deeper than that. Once again, you reminded yourself that Anakin was a Jedi. Off-limits. So, as you settled into bed, you promised that you would actually keep your distance. There was no use in getting attached to him. The Jedi belonged to no one. 

taglist: @angie2274 @bunnylovesani @0709fullofstars @js-favnanadoongi @payton-dixonreader it wasn't letting me tag u ):

[sluttywoozi]

Buy A Boyfriend || chs x reader

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Summary: Being a professional boyfriend on SVTHub is great - all Vernon has to do is respond to a few texts, send out a couple selfies, do a stream every now and then, and he makes enough to cover tuition. Things get a little tricky when he finds himself wishing he actually was your boyfriend.

Rating: M (18+) | Word Count: 4kish

Content Notes: voice kink, male masturbation, swearing, he is a virtual boyfriend for money, the texts will probs look like ass on mobile, gender neutral reader, reader has cats and I borrowed @sluttywonwoo 's cats bc im their aunt and I love them (sorry if u have your own, please imagine them 😭), they dont have sex (in this part) my bad, reader is a stem major bc I live to project, I think that’s it pls let me know if I missed anything!!

Vernon’s username: bandsboyvern

Reader’s username: allthoughtsheadfull

Vernon sighs as he opens up SVTHub, knowing he has at least three messages that ask, “Would you still love me if I was a worm?”

His answer will, of course, be “Yes and I would make you a cute little worm house in a jar and take you with me everywhere,” when he really wants to say, ”No I wouldn’t, because I don't know you at all and worms have a very short life expectancy.”

But this is the life he’s created for himself; getting paid to act like a boyfriend comes with answering cliche boyfriend questions. He’s scrolling through messages, answering good morning and goodnight texts with an appropriate selfie, when one message catches his eye, or actually, wow, 5 messages, all from one person.

Vernon tilts his head, considering how to answer. It’s a bit weird that you sought out a pretend boyfriend to tell these things to but he can’t say the messages aren’t more entertaining than the usual ones. And, honestly, snails are effervescent.

Vernon answers some messages from other users; badbitchesrus is having friend group drama again and he’s dying to tell her, “you’re the problem,” but a boyfriend wouldn’t say that so he just agrees, saying, “you’re so right, Jen did copy ur fit last night but u did it better baby.” He replies to a few selfies with paragraphs of fire and heart eye emojis, and sends out a couple ‘hope ur day gets better babygirl’s.

Clicking out of the app, Vernon tries to force himself to focus on studying. He’s got a music theory quiz this week and a sound design exam next week and he’s not prepared for either. His fingers tap out a rhythm on his knee as he runs over scales in his head, swearing to himself after missing the last sharp in B major for the fourth time. He’s about to pull out his keyboard for manual practice when his phone dings with a message, the tone telling him it's SVTHub. His head hits the back of his chair, hoping beyond hope it’s not another worm message, and he smiles in surprise when he sees it’s from you.

thought 5: legally blonde is peak cinema and has something for everyone so whyyyy is it universally disliked

Vernon tilts his head, realizing that even though he’d never seen Legally Blonde, he did dislike it for some reason. Huh.

His phone goes off again, another thought from you.

thought 6: why did stephanie name it twilight and then have bella meet edward in the daytime

He hasn’t seen Twilight either but, honestly, you bring up a good point. Why name it a certain time of day and then not have them meet at that time?

Happy to be distracted, Vernon settles in to ask you some questions and hopefully get some movie recommendations.

Before Vernon can respond, he gets another message, from bbygrill99 this time. She’s requesting an ab pic, her third this week, and he wonders why she’s so obsessed with his abs when his ass is great too, but complies nonetheless. Lifting his shirt, he tenses his abdominals and tilts his phone to get the perfect angle, his bottom lip just barely in frame and his gray sweats sitting low on his hips. He’s been trying to drink more water because apparently you need it to survive, so his abs aren’t as defined as usual and he hopes she doesn’t say anything. He sends the picture out with a kiss emoji and saves it to his folder of lewds, hoping he’ll be able to reuse it.

He’s very intrigued by the idea of threats to increase productivity, and asks you more questions. This turns out to be counterproductive as it leads to a whole conversation that makes him laugh all the way through, and consequently, he doesn’t get any more work done.

It’s almost time for his weekly goodnight stream, and Vernon’s still thinking about your last conversation. You’d lured him into a debate about living as a pigeon or living with pigeons, and he still wasn’t sure who’d won. You hadn’t sent him any new thoughts today, and even though you’d just become a subscriber last week, he’s missing you for some reason. He really enjoyed the randomness of your brain, and hearing what was going on in there throughout the day. It was a nice break from pretending to be the perfect boyfriend, and he got to respond like he wanted, not like he thought he should.

Starting the stream, he settles into bed and begins telling his patrons about his day, pausing at certain moments to let them respond to him. On their screens, it just looks like a personal facetime, and they get to pretend he’s talking to them and them alone. He tries not to frown when he realizes you haven’t joined, and hopes you will soon; you were the one person he actually wanted to say goodnight to.

You don’t join, and Vernon goes to bed sad and confused. Why were you paying for this if you weren’t going to use your membership to the fullest? His subscribers loved the introduction of goodnight streams, some are even asking for good morning streams too. You also hadn’t asked him for any pictures yet, even though everyone was allowed three per day. Maybe you just hadn’t read the membership benefits when you joined and didn’t know? He should probably ask, right? Just to be sure you’re getting your money’s worth.

Vernon gasps, staring down at his phone in awe.

A cat picture. You've sent him a cat picture. A picture of a cat. Your cat, presumably.

Vernon’s heart stutters, his eyebrows raising.

damn.

He sighs in disbelief before setting his jaw in determination and deciding the perfect combination and sequence of emojis to convey his true feelings.

Vernon puts the phone down for a moment as he remembers what you’d first said about your cats. One likes you too much and one doesn’t like you at all. He wonders which is which, they're both looking at you with such love.

He’s spinning in his desk chair, zoning out a little, when his eyes hit the open sound design program on his desktop.

Fuck, he has an exam tomorrow.

Vernon’s mouth stretches in a smile, his kicking feet sending him on a giddy spin in his chair. Putting his phone on Do Not Disturb, he forces himself to focus.

Vernon is sitting in his Audio Mastering Techniques class when you text him. He was already struggling to focus, fingers drumming on the table and leg bouncing under it, his neighbor sending a glare over every few minutes. He tries his best not to check, but you'd promised him your first thought and he wants to see what it is!

Glancing around surreptitiously, Vernon opens SVTHub with his phone under the table. You'd never sent him an explicit message before but there's a first time for everything (Vernon hopes).

Vernon looks up organic chemistry practice problems but sees ‘Stereospecificity in Addition Reactions’ and ‘Electrophilic Addition Reactions to Conjugated Dienes’ and immediately begins shaking his head, exiting out of the browser and texting you again.

Vernon’s heart starts racing as he reads your text. You want to call him. You want to speak words and you want him to listen and respond and then you’ll respond to his words.

Cool.

Vernon’s sitting at his desk, spinning around as the phone rings and rain pangs against the window.

“Hey! Sorry,” you sound out of breath, “it’s monsooning and i couldn’t text and hold the umbrella and keep my laptop out of the rain at the same time.”

“It’s okay, no worries. How’d the exam go? Did you cry?” He asks, only slightly worried.

“It went well, I think! I did cry but just a little and I didn’t get it on the exam paper this time, thank goodness.”

You tell him more about the exam and he just listens, absorbing your voice and tone and cadence. He wants to record you, wishes he could listen to you all the time, your voice is so entrancing.

“Did you have your midterm yet?” You ask sweetly, sounding concerned.

This startles Vernon out of his trance and he has to ask himself if he has taken his midterm yet today, and sighs in relief when he realizes he has a few hours left to go.

“Nah, it’s not till later so i’m just studying and vibing.”

Vernon chats more with you, trying to imagine what you look like and wishing patrons had a profile picture like he does, before he realizes it’s been an hour and he should get focused. Promising to call you after his exam and wishing he could just take you with him in his pocket, he hangs up.

Vernon does call you after his exam, and he calls you the next day too, and the next. It’s easier than ever for him to respond to messages, romantic words flowing and streams getting more and more popular. He just pretends he’s talking to you and it always works. You haven’t joined one of his streams yet but he’s holding out hope, and secretly wishing that you’d request a private videocall. You still haven’t asked for any selfies but he finds himself sending them anyway, hoping someday you’ll send one back. 

He’s getting ready for his bedtime stream when he starts thinking about your last phone call, just a few hours ago. You’d just woken up from a nap, sounding all raspy and sleepy and cute, and he tried to picture your face, cheek lined with pillow creases. He doesn’t remember what you’d talked about because he couldn’t focus on anything but your voice, soft and sweet in his ear. He pictures you, laying in bed next to him, your head on his chest or his on yours, your legs tangled up with his own. He can’t help but imagine your fingers trailing over the ridges of his abdomen, running up and down his chest, and his own fingers start to follow. 

Vernon thinks about your fingers moving lower, running along his waistband and dipping beneath. But you’re a tease, and they slip out and over the fabric of his sweats, pressing down where he’s starting to grow hard. He rubs his palm over his dick, squeezing harder the closer he gets to the head, imagining your giggle when his hips buck up. His phone goes off, startling him out of his fantasy and reminding him he has a stream to start. 

He hasn’t done one like this in a while but the tips are always insane and he really wants to buy the lego set you told him you did the other day, so he shrugs and presses the red record button on his phone. 

“Hey baby, it's so good to see you. How are you?” Vernon pauses to let his viewers answer, thinking about how you’d respond. 

“I had a busy day, midterms finished last week but I have a project due soon and I haven’t made a lot of progress on it,” he hears you scold him in his head, telling him to get a move on. 

“But I’m really tired, and i just wanna relax. Think you could help me?” Vernon asks, setting his phone down to pull off his shirt, missing the little notification popping up to say you’d joined. He smiles softly into the camera as he picks it back up, sliding on the bed to rest his head on the pillows. He pans the camera down to show his abs, running his fingers down his chest to settle at his waistband, pretending they’re yours. The tips start rolling in and he mutes his phone, the dinging sound beginning to annoy him. 

Vernon tries to find that fantasy again, the one where you’re in bed with him and touching him and talking to him, and slips his hand into his sweats, fingers wrapping around his hard cock. He sighs, pulling his dick out and rubbing his palm over the head, his hips jerking at the friction. Leaning over to dig around his bedside table for some lube, Vernon wonders what you’re doing right now. He opens the cap and dribbles some onto his length, smearing it around with his hand. It’s chilly but he just tells himself your hand is cold, and starts squeezing his cock, pulling a little when he gets to the head. A punched out moan leaves his chest, lube warming up and dick getting harder. 

It feels better than usual for some reason, but Vernon isn’t willing to think about why at the moment, and keeps jerking his cock. He’s panting a bit now, staring into the camera with half-lidded eyes and lip bitten between his teeth, feeling his abs tense with every pull. Closing his eyes so he can picture your hand moving on him, he tilts his head back into the pillow, wishing he could moan your name. 

The heat is starting to rise in his stomach, his hips bucking into the movements of his hand, and he knows he’s getting close. He really is tired so he doesn’t try to draw it out, just squeezes at the head harder and tries not to whine at the pressure. He thinks about your hands on him, god, your mouth on him, and imagines your voice telling him to cum. 

Vernon almost drops the phone on his chest with the force of his orgasm, trying to decide if he should turn the camera to show the cum shooting out of his cock and pooling in the ridges of his abs. He leaves it facing him instead, knowing his face is screwed up in pleasure and his moans are echoing throughout the room. Staring at the ceiling, Vernon tries to catch his breath and wonders why he just came so hard. He can feel his eyelids drooping, mind going hazy with sleep and oxytocin, and blows a kiss into the camera, saying goodnight. 

You haven’t texted him in a week.

Vernon’s messaged you, selfies and thoughts and questions, but you haven't responded. He even checked your profile, just to make sure you hadn’t canceled your membership. He doesn’t know what to do; you’ve only been a subscriber for a couple months and you’ve only been gone a week, but he misses you. He misses waking up to a random philosophical question from you, or a picture of your latest A, or a video of your cats play(?) fighting. 

But Vernon also doesn’t want to bother you, or overwhelm you, so he’s cooled it down a bit. He only texted you once yesterday, and he hasn’t texted you at all today. He just wishes he knew you’re okay, that nothing bad has happened to you, that you’ll come back. He knows now that being a pretend boyfriend is no fun if you don’t have someone whose boyfriend you want to be. 

For now, he’ll just keep checking his phone and hoping to see a message from you. 

Vernon's knee bounces, jaw clenching as he listens to the phone ring, waiting for you to pick up. He can't wait to hear your voice, it hasn't even been two weeks but that's more than long enough for him. You just soothe him, quiet his brain and still his hands. He's not sure if it's how gently you speak, or how your voice feels like a soft, warm blanket right out of the dryer, or how your words slide over him like silk, but he's missed you and as soon as you pick up and say hello, it's like his entire body relaxes.

He chats with you a bit, catching up on your classes and telling you about the work he's done for his project (little to none), letting you scold him for having done no work on his project and enjoying it.

The conversation draws to a natural conclusion, both of you having exhausted every possible topic in an effort to avoid the reason for the call. Vernon takes a deep breath and tries to steel himself; he's never been good with uncomfortable situations or feelings talk but he's willing to try, for you.

"So, you thought this was like a... pen pal situation? Didn't you have to put in your ID to prove you're over 18?"

"Well, yes, but I thought it was just so we could talk about adult topics, not because it's porn!"

Vernon blanches, he hadn't really thought about the fact that he was basically a porn star and he's not sure how he feels about it. He's not ashamed, sex is normal and human and he needs to make money somehow, but he does wonder how much longer he'll want to keep doing this. It's not easy to act like a boyfriend to so many people at once when he knows there's only one person he wants. And he does know it now, he wants you.

"Does it make you uncomfortable? That I do this?" Vernon worries, knowing he doesn't want to stop but also knowing he doesn't want to lose you.

"No, I mean, a job is a job and you get to make your own schedule and devote all your focus to school. It seems like a great gig, and you're good at it obviously..." You trail off, sounding sad for some reason. He hasn't heard you like this before, your voice a bit thready and foggy, like you're suppressing tears.

"What's wrong?" Vernon asks urgently, becoming more and more concerned with every sniffle that escapes you.

You stay silent for a while, Vernon tries to be patient but he can hear your breath catching, and he's about to start crying too just so you don't cry alone. He breathes out your name, hoping you'll respond.

"Ugh, I just-" you stop yourself, sounding... embarrassed?

"I..." you take what sounds like a very deep breath, and Vernon feels like he's at the edge of a cliff, just waiting to jump.

"I like you! I like when you call me babe and flirt with me and call me and I liked the face you made when you came and I liked how you sounded and then I wanted to make you sound like that! But this is your literal job, acting like a boyfriend, and I didn't know that so I let myself have a crush on you not knowing that it was all fake!"

It takes Vernon a second to process what you said, you'd said it all in one breath and spoken so fast, your voice shaking with the cutest mix of nerves and annoyance.

"Nononononononono!!! It wasn't fake! It was fake with everyone else but never with you," Vernon spits out in a rush, desperate to make you understand. He's pacing in his room now, phone pressed to his ear, arms crossed and fingers taptaptapping at his elbow. He wonders what he can say to make you believe him, to make sure you know that you've always been different, been special, to him.

"I look forward to your thoughts every day. Whenever you text me, I literally kick my feet like a little kid. Every time I streamed - they're not all like that, by the way - I couldn't stop checking to see if you'd joined. Patrons can only ask for three selfies a day, I send you like five, unprompted-" he could go on, but you interrupt him with a call of his name. He's not sure he's heard it on your lips before, but it does something to him. Something that's very inconvenient for him to deal with now, during this very emotional conversation. He's tempted to send you a picture, maybe that will convince you.

"Vernon," you call again, bringing his focus back to your voice and away from what your voice was doing to him.

"So, what are you saying?" you continue, starting to sound a bit less sad and a bit more like yourself.

"I'm saying I want to be your actual boyfriend, and not for money, so you'll have to cancel your membership, sorry."

There's silence for a few beats; Vernon feels himself teetering on the cliff again as he waits for your response.

"I mean- is that... allowed?" You seem unsure, sounding slightly hopeful but a bit apprehensive still. He wishes he could see your face, wishes he knew what you look like at all (knowing would definitely help at nighttime or in the shower or when he wakes up for ... reasons). He shakes his head to bring himself back to the conversation before you notice that his mind had wandered.

"Yea, I mean, my friend does cam shows with his partner and another friend of mine found out his roommate was watching his shows and now they fuck everyday! That could be us!" Vernon tries to reassure you, hoping you're willing to at least try.

"Ummmmm I don't know about that just yet but we could try... dating, I guess? It may be difficult just online but I like you and you say you like me so, why not?"

Vernon thinks that if he jumped out of his window right now, he just might fly. He won't because he's not trying to die now that you're letting him be your boyfriend, but the feeling is there.

"Yes! I do like you, I like you a lot. I like you so much. Please date me." He knows he's practically begging at this point, but he doesn't care. Vernon's willing to beg, on his knees if he needs to, if it means he can be your boyfriend for real.

"Okay! Okay," you giggle, a bit muffled as if you're covering your mouth. "I'll date you if you date me?"

Vernon can't contain his grin, spinning in circles around his room even though he's already dizzy.

"Deal."

Vernon squints, sitting in his 9 am and staring down at the purple pen in his hand, the one he’d found sitting on the desk when he came in.

There’s no way though, right?

Right?

Vernon tries not to freak out as he looks under the desk to find a water bottle. One with your name on it.

Vernon has a choice to make. He could sit here, try to focus on class, while he thinks about you somewhere on campus, struggling through an exam and dehydrated and sad. Or …

Not on my watch, Vernon thinks, shooting up from the desk and grabbing his stuff and yours. He’s jogging across campus before he knows it, dodging frisbees and dogs on the green, weaving through hammocks and hopping over sleeping students. He’s not sure what lecture hall you’re in but he knows the chemistry building, and if he books it, he’s sure he can make it.

He’s speedwalking down the hall, peeking in windows and listening at doors, trying to find your class. His eyes catch a paper taped to a door, warning, “EXAM AT 915. DO NOT DISTURB.”

He could jump in glee but, glancing at his phone and seeing that it’s 9:10, he knows he doesn’t have time.

Vernon’s hoping, praying you’ll listen to him when the door opens a smidge, and the most beautiful face he’s ever seen peeks through. It's like heaven’s light is shining down on him, he thinks he can hear angels, and is that wind? Blowing through his hair?

Staring back at him, your eyes shoot open in disbelief, before landing on your pen and water bottle in his hands. You squeal, bouncing in your shoes and throwing your arms around his neck. He breathes you in, reeling at the weight of your body against his, and you pull back before he can return your embrace. Vernon misses you instantly but he knows you have to go be a genius so, handing you the water and pen, he accepts a kiss on the cheek and watches you leave.

Hiiii!! Would love to know your thoughts, whether they come in a like, reblog, comment, or ask! Please feel free to come talk to me i will cry and smile all day!! Planning a pt 2 for this but i'm hoping to get pt 2 of like a cowboy out first!

Part 2

And check out the rest of SVTHub! A good few fics are out and you’ll still have something to look forward to as more will be posted over the next few weeks ☺️

I am so grateful to @sapphichui for trusting me with this and I’ve had such a great time collaborating with and getting to know other awesome authors on here!

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[lxclerc]

𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲 | 𝐦𝐬𝟒𝟕

SUMMARY: in which staying away was impossible REQUEST: ‘can you do anything for mick pls there’s barely any content for him and i need more’ and ‘mick ansgt please??’ PAIRING: mick schumacher x reader WARNING: angst to fluff, some slight cursing WORD COUNT: 1.8k

NOTE: let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!

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Loving Mick was never part of your plans. You’re determined to prove yourself from anyone who ever doubted you, determined to prove that you aren’t just a pretty doll meant to look pretty on a shelf, but from the moment you met him, there’s something tragic about him that drew you close, seeing yourself in his eyes and feeling like you’re home. 

You were never into blondes and you were never meant to fall for his shy smiles and the way he seems so hesitant in meeting your eyes. You were never meant to feel so safe and cared for in his presence but most of all, you were never meant to be just friends. 

From the first day you met him, there’s always been something between the two of you. His eyes often lingered on your lips, his touch lingering on your skin a few seconds too long. You were never meant to be just friends. You were always meant to be more but for some reason, you stayed as friends. 

Maybe it was the comfort you brought each other, the intimacy you always shared. Was it the bond and the love and the feeling of being so understood from one simple shared glance? Whatever it was, the two of you were terrified to lose it and so you stayed friends. 

Friends who often lay side by side as you whisper secrets at the dead of the night, hands entwined. Friends who say they’re dating other people as though it’s a mistake, as though it’s an apology, a plea for help. Friends. Best friends. Soulmates maybe. 

Most of the time, it’s you he has to stay up for, waiting for a text as you drink with friends, always pushing yourself past your limit just to prove something because you always have to prove something, always have to be proving yourself. 

During your schooling years, you get the highest grades just to prove that you can. In university, you enroll in the hardest degree just to prove that you can finish it. When you drink, you always down more shots than anyone just to prove that you can. You flirt with guys and take them home because you can. You don’t kiss Mick silly no matter how badly you want to do so to prove that you can. 

You can not love him. You can live without him. You can go about your day knowing some other girl has her lips on his skin. And you can pretend that it’s not all lies.  

You can do anything you set your mind to. That must be why you’ve been ignoring his calls the past few weeks, trying to prove to yourself that you don’t need him, that you can ignore him. Mick knows you a little too well. 

And maybe you can live without him. Maybe you can survive without him but Mick isn’t as good of a liar as you are. Unlike you, he doesn’t spend all his time pretending as though there’s not an invisible string tying you two together. He’s never been good at pretending, definitely nowhere as good as you are.

And that’s definitely why he’s out drinking despite the fact that he absolutely hates the taste of alcohol. It’s why he can’t stand opening any social media because he knows he’ll see your smiling face, some guy’s arm around you. 

So yes, usually it’s you calling drunk in the middle of the night and Mick getting up at three in the morning to pick you up. Yes, it’s usually you who pushes everything way past the limit but Mick had tried playing your game for weeks now. He tried pretending that he, too, can live without you. He tried pretending that he doesn’t need you or that he doesn’t compare every woman he meets to you but the sad, bitter truth is that he can’t. 

And even he has a breaking point. Even he, a man who’s spent his life doing exactly what’s expected of him with such grace and such kind smile, reaches a point of no return. 

That must be why he’s calling you, half expecting it to go to voicemail like his past calls have been and half wishing it would just to save himself the embarrassment of being vulnerable in front of you. 

Being vulnerable in front of each other never used to be a problem till you had to prove that you don’t need him. 

But alas, you answer your phone. 

“Hallo,” you say on the other side, your voice soft with sleep and barely a whisper and Mick has to take a deep breath because fucking hell he missed your voice. 

There’s silence on his part as he tries to compose whatever is left of him that he can. Because he’s Mick Schumacher. He was never meant to be the type of guy who gets drunk to pour their heart out. He’s meant to be a boy next door, the one who smiles at you as you pass each other in the hallway. He was never meant to be such a mess. 

But you’re a mess. Wasn’t that one of the first few things you told him? You’re a mess with the constant need to be better than everyone at everything, the constant need to be the kind of girl that would have heads turning. You’re a mess because despite spending the rest of your life trying to prove a point, trying to prove that you’re different, the truth is that you’re just like everyone else. You’re just another woman desperately trying to be worthy of love and attention. 

You’re a mess and now you’ve turned him into one too.

“Y/N,” he said finally, whispering despite the fact that he’s alone in a dark, empty room. He doesn’t know where he is. He stopped caring a few hours ago. Maybe in some girl’s apartment. Mick was never meant to be the type of guy who goes home with a stranger but anything to forget you, anything to remember you. 

“Mick?” Your voice is much clearer now and you immediately know that something’s wrong. You always do. You may be good at pretending, you may be good at pretending that you’re able to spend your days without him lingering at the back of your mind but you can’t deny an absolute truth. You’re one half of a soul, him carrying the other half. “Are you okay?” 

“I don’t know where I am,” he admits because he doesn’t know what else to say. “I don’t know how to get home.” 

And there it was again. The very first thing that drew you to Mick. There’s something broken inside him. How could a man like him, born so privileged and loved, ever know tragedy? But here’s the truth, inside him remains that lost and helpless fourteen year old the moment he lost his father. He carries his pain wherever he goes. He carries his grief like it’s second skin. 

And god, you can never let him go no matter how hard you try and so you pull yourself up, slipping on a jacket as you grab your keys. “Are you drunk? Can you tell me the last thing you remember?” 

“Yes,” he says, answering your first question. “I was with a girl I met in the club. I think I went home with her.”

You suck in a breath, trying to ignore the mental image of Mick, your Mick, dancing with some girl in a club then deciding to go home with her, but isn’t this what you planned when you pulled away from him? You can’t have him. For some reason, you’re never able to. Just as you’re ready to confess, he’s in a relationship. Just as he starts treating you as more than a friend, you’re with another guy. Until eventually, you learned to accept that maybe you and him just don’t work. 

Maybe you were wrong. Maybe you were never meant to be together after all. What an idiot you’ve been. 

“Send me your location,” you say finally, entering your car. And maybe you were never meant to be together as couples but god knows you can’t stay away for too long. For once in your life, you finally found something you aren’t good at, something you can’t be right at. 

He may have called first but you knew in a day or two, you would have lost all of your self preservation and come crawling to him. 

You may have broken a few laws as you rushed to the location Mick sent, not bothering to stop at red lights seeing as the road seems to be completely vacant. When you park outside the building, Mick is already there, sitting on the curb with his head on his knees. His clothes are rumpled and his hair messy. 

You don’t hesitate to wrap your arms around him as soon as he’s within your reach, kneeling before him. When he looked up at you, you noticed the alcohol induced fog in his eyes. 

“Ich kann es nicht tun,” he said, voice shaky. “Ich kann mich nicht verstellen. Ich kann nicht wegbleiben.” I can’t do it…I can’t pretend. I can’t stay away.

Your heart breaks as you realize that you’re the one to put the two of you in this position. All of this is your doing. Your pride and your ego is the one to blame. You wipe the tears falling from your eyes. You hate seeing him like this, so broken and so lost and the fact that you know that you’re the cause of it makes you want to punish yourself. 

“We’ll talk tomorrow,” you said finally. “Let’s get you to bed first.”

But just as you move to help him up, Mick pulls at your wrist, pulling you down to his lap as his arms snaked around you. The scent of alcohol and some girl’s perfume attacked your senses and you hate that he doesn’t smell like your Mick but his touch is engraved in your mind and you feel your body relax against his hold. 

“Just…” he breathes out, burying his face against your neck as his arms around you tighten. “Just stay here for a moment. Stay with me for a moment please.”

You swallow as you adjust yourself so you’re facing him, your arms wrapping around his neck. The two of you must look so stupid sitting on a curb, so tightly wrapped around each other but you can’t find it in yourself to care. 

The truth is that the two of you can never stay away. You were meant to love him just as you were meant to be his. 

“I’m here,” you say. “I’m never going away again.” 

taglist: @ricsaigaslec @dragon-of-winterfell @coffeehurricanes @rdtbattinson

[mrsjavierp]

Where you belong?

Chapter 10 - Morally Grey

Javier Peña x latin!f!reader

Summary: Running away from life as you always knew to start a new position as Head Chief on a DEA Office, far away, on Colombia. There, you'll face violence, as you never thought you could. There, you'll meet Javier Peña, your stubborn agent...

Warnings (to the whole fic): +18!, age gap, angst, smut, cheating, last relationships, drug dealing - Narcos Universe, bad spanish, english is my second language, use of Y/N and Y/LN. No physical description of the reader, only clothes (sometimes). The POVs are shifting between reader (first person and Narrator in 3rd person)

(If I forgot anything, tell me, pls!)

Word Count: 5,4k (i don't know wtf happened)

A/N: First, thank you so much for the new followers! Welcome to our community of Horny for Javier Peña lol Babes, I'm still horny for him and if love this man is a crime, arrest me! Let's start the ANGST because I need them to start to suffer a little... It's all going all too well...

Second, I had to repost it 'cause this plataform well... we all know.

Dividers: @saradika-graphics

Tag: @creedslove | @pedrostories | @mjoee13 | @immyowndefender | @iamsherlocked-1998 | @pedroswife69 | @szde8-blog | @just-mj-or-not

Narrator's POV:

It all started when you had a fight with Crosby, since he wanted something he couldn't yet: Escobar's head on a plate, but it would take time. 

Carrillo was no piece of cake either, sometimes hiding things from you, sometimes doing… Questionable things.

You’ve both had a terrible day, worse than others… But always knew where to find comfort: each other. 

He came, fucked you until you saw stars and you shared dinner. 

It became a routine.

Weeks flew by with hidden dates, excellent sex, intimacy. 

This domesticity felt so good for both of you, it was almost like a dream, a distant reality from all.

You felt safe. Javier was radiant.

Actually, you both felt safe, happy, living in a bubble. No matter in which apartment, his or yours, that bubble isolated you from your traumas, your job, the drug war.

Javier was in the clouds, he never thought he could be happy with someone. He never thought you, although younger and fisty, could be so loving towards him… He always envied Steve for his relationship with Connie, but he could see you being that person: his person. His feelings grew by second. Even though you didn't want kids anymore, he could see you being a better stepmom than Lorraine was a mom.

As a wife, Lorraine wasn't exactly terrible, but she was no good either. Their relationship was casual, some booty calls. Sometimes, not even a proper date. Not even friends with benefits. After they got married, he never felt accepted, understood… Not even loved, if Javier was being honest to himself. 

When he decided to get married to Lorraine, he felt like he was going to carry out a sentence - life sentence, and it had nothing to do with Lucas. Lorraine was a shallow person, didn't care for nothing other than herself and what people thought about her. It was always about what would appear, what would people think, what they would say… Her family was no better: her parents had a little money, so they thought they owned Laredo and could own people. Furthermore, they considered themselves “true Americans”, different from Javier and his family.

Javier was known as “Laredo's legs spreader” and Lorraine “tamed him” or “saved him”. 

Her family loved the second one, by the way. 

Javier also tried not to get married. He promised he was going to take care of his kid and Lorraine, but she cried and begged to get married. He felt sorry for her and how was he going to marry someone for being sorry? Her family, on the other hand, threatened him: if he didn't marry Lorraine, he would never see his son. Never.

So he did it.

He wishes he never did.

But now, things are a little different: he had someone he could see himself with, one day. You were everything and a little more than he asked for… You were intelligent, beautiful, funny, you weren't judgemental or selfish. You made him almost forget about his personal war in Laredo, he almost forgot about Lorraine.

Almost.

But he had to tell you the truth, but a shorter version. Or make up one that told you enough without jeopardizing the relationship you were just starting off. It was already so hard to break your initial walls, Javier couldn’t risk anything anymore…

He knew the best way to tell a lie was to tell a few half-truths and break it down easily.

And pray you'd never find out about it the rest…

This night was just another night at his apartment. He lured Steve not to show up by surprise, so you could have some privacy. 

You were telling about the first night you dared to use your vibrator, but forgot to lock the door.

“No way!” - Javier said to you, shocked.

“Well, let’s just say mi mama never barged into my room again, ever.” - you responded, laughing.

It was just so… So serene. 

“Your mama must have been so shocked, what did she do at the time?” 

“Well, she pretended nothing happened and we only talked about a few years later, on a family reunion, we were so drunk. It was a Navidad (Christimas), I guess… Anyway, sex wasn’t exactly a taboo in my family, curiously.”

“How so?” - Javier asked, interested. He bites a piece of his chinese spring roll, waiting for you.

“Well, despite all of the fuzz around ‘sex’, my family conducted things a little differently. My parents always taught me, my sister and my older brother to take accountability for our actions. They never treated us 3 differently because of our gender. So, when we started doing it, we actually had an open conversation about condoms, birth control… This kind of thing. It increased our trust in each other, parents and children. It worked so well for all the 28 years of my life. We are really close and always can count on each other. My older brother is 35 and my younger sister is turning 24 this year… I’m rambling, sorry.” - you savored your beer, shutting yourself down.

“I love to hear about your family, cariño. It seems to be an important part of who you are. Tell me more about your siblings, what do they do? How about your parents?”

“Oh, no, Javi! You first!” - you laughed. - “We’re going on quid pro quo here… Tell me about your family, come on!” - you ask.

“God, you’re a tough cookie!” - he laughed. - “Okay, I’ll give you something… Let me see…” - Javier started to think about what he could actually tell you, with no risks, so he stayed safe: teenage years and college. - “Well, mi mama, as you know, is not alive anymore, but she lived to see me do good things, such as graduate in high school, which, by the way, she was one of the teachers at the school…” - He took a sip from his beer. - “She was an amazing mom and incredible teacher, but Díos Mio, I couldn’t step outside the line or have a girlfriend. Mi papa is a wonderful dad as well. He was the stability to my mom’s… I don’t know how to name it, she was fast, agitated, full of life and dreams. My dad provided the balance to make her dreams turn into reality.”

“Oh, that’s so good. My dad and mom are just like it as well… So, what do you wanna know now?”

“Go on about your parents and your siblings, cariño, please. What do they do?”

“Well, my dad is a public server and my mom is in finance, working at a small company. My sister is in Med School and my brother is an Assistant District Attorney… Wait, we’re at your apartment and I haven’t seen any photos… Do you have any?”

“Cariño…” - He started and you knew he had, from just hearing that tone, but probably were hidden. - “Why bother to see?”

Javier was worried to show since there were some of Lucas’ pictures among them. 

None of Lorraine, of course… He burned them all and only kept letters that talked about Lucas, in one separated box.

“Come on! Por favor, Javi…” (Please, Javi…)

“Oh no, cariño, we’re going on quid pro quo here…” - he smiled. - “You set the rules yourself.”

“Fuck, Peña. Sometimes I underestimate you… Okay, fine. What do you want?”

And then he smiled… A fucking naughty smile, like he had he upper hand.

“I’ll show you my family album… But you gotta do something first for me.” - he said.

“Oh, fuck, you wanna fuck me in the ass, don’t you?” - you joked.

However, his expression demonstrated shock, he even let out a nervous laugh.

Javier didn’t deny it, though.

“Cariño, I…” - The Adam's apple on his throat was throbbing, as he gulped and struggled to find words. - “I do, but to be honest, that wasn’t part of the request… It could be, though.”

“Oh…” - you responded, surprised. - “Please, amuse me!” - your tone was curious.

“I’d like you to wear a blindfold and maybe wear a tie or a handcuff. You can use words to express your limits and we can agree before we get started on what I can or cannot do. We can use your toys, if you’d like…”

You were astonished by Javier’s boldness.

And, of course, aroused by the possibilities that would come by if you decided to take the risk of surrendering to Javier Peña.

Javier Peña, the guy you elected as the sluttiest and most depraved man alive.

Javier Peña, the man who you loved to roll in bed with, since he never was ashamed of his urges or desires with you - and never shamed you nor called you a “slut” for loving sex or masturbating.

In fact, Javier loved that you touched yourself - it wasn’t that common in his or your past relationships or experiences in different ways.

He frequently used it in his favor, by the way.

“We could use safe words, like ‘yellow’ if you’re almost at your limit and ‘red’ if you want me to stop.” - he continued. - “You could tell me if you’d like me to use some or any of your toys…”

“Oh, you want to use tools, Javi?” - you teased him.

He smiled at you, the same sly smile.

“Oh, you can tell me which one I can use, but it won’t mean I’ll actually use… So, what do you think? Any more you’d like to add?”

“Well, I liked the idea of using safe words, seems wise, since I won’t be able to see or maybe move. About my toys… You can use the wand, I know you love it almost as much as me. I’ll throw you a bone and let you use my plug, but putting it inside of me… I know I never let you do it. But be reasonable, Peña.”

“So, you’re picking it up now or we’re going to your place across the hallway?” - he provoked you.

“Oh, I’m picking it up… I’m guaranteeing you’re gonna do your part of the deal, Peña.”

You got up and went to your apartment as fast as you could.

You were naked and blindfolded.

Your hands were tied behind you, firmly but not hurtful.

You were on your knees, on top of Javier’s bed, your legs were slightly open, so Javier’s head could accommodate between them.

His head, by the way, was, indeed, between your legs, torturing you by kissing and licking your pussy. 

You were hesitant in sitting on his face, you didn't want to suffocate Javier.

You could feel his mustache tingling you, sending shivers down your spine, his hands grabbing you ass, opening you, leaving his fingertips all over it, teasing you open, his tongue avoiding your clitoris, fucking you.

And, since you couldn’t see anything, it felt even more intense.

He made you come so good your legs couldn’t hold and you fell on the bed, next to him. 

Javier then started the next thing he planned:

“Cariño, lay with your ass up and your beautiful face down.” - You obeyed, while he got up. You only felt his height leaving the mattress. - “Good girl… Now, relax.” 

One of Javier’s hands opened you and the other caressed your holes, admiring how beautiful you look like that, at his mercy.

“Díos Mio, cariño… Tell me how you can look so goddamn beautiful?”

You moan at his praise.

He wasted no time and began to prepare your ass with some lube, playing on its entrance. Then, you felt something cold and metallic starting to enter you and made you jump.

“Relax, cariño, it’s just your plug.” - you tried to relax, taking long and deep breaths as Javier put it on you, slowly, letting you get used to it. - “You’re doing really well, babygirl. I’m almost done…” - until you felt it inside you, completely. 

“Fuck, Javier…” - You gasped, while clenching around it and, your pussy, throbbing. 

His hands continued to spread you open, deciding on what to do next.

Your mind was racing, not being able to think clearly, only feeling every cell on your skin burn.

Burning under Javier’s touch.

Javier slowly entered your pussy, savoring how your walls were even more tight than usual. He held your hips in place, to avoid any tentative escape, even if it was unconscious.

Javier fucked you slowly, at first, letting you get used to his length, as usual, and preventing him of come early than he wanted.

Javier mumbled both in English and Spanish a bunch of dirty words, while you moan his name, which time, louder.

You could feel how his body was just as sweet as yours, just as hot. His hands seemed to be everywhere.

“Ja-javi, oh fuck, I'm so close.” - you plea, needy.

“Let it go, cariño, let me feel you squeezing me…” - He allowed you.

You came so hard on him.

And, of course, Javier couldn’t hold back any longer and came inside you just after. Catching his breath, he pulled his dick out, untied you and held you against him, while you both laid there.

You were astonished by how good of a lover Javier was to you. 

He took off your blindfold and held your face between his hands, looking deeply in your eyes. His look was so intense, you felt it in your gut, making your folds pulsating and your plug almost vibrate.

“Javi, you're making me blush…” - you confided.

He smiled. 

“You're so gorgeous, I can't believe we're here.”

Minutes later, after a shower you and Javier put back the bare minimum of clothes to walk round Javier’s apartment and you both sit down on his living room floor, next to a bookcase, with a file box and lots of pictures of him, his parents, his parents’ ranch… 

“So, this is you on top of a cow? Why?” - you laughed. - “That's so cute: Javier Peña, a farm boy!”

He rolled his eyes. 

“Come on, stop messing with me! Here's another one: mama y papa at their wedding.” - he showed another picture. He was a perfect mix of his dad and mom.

“Hey, you never told me you have a brother, Javi…” - you said, picking up a photo of Lucas, his son.

Javier tensed up, nervous.

“Cariño, there's something you should know…” - he started, in an incriminating tone, as if has hiding something, but got caught. 

You swallow hard.

“I have a son, back in the US.”

“Peña… What the fuck? Why did you keep it from me?” - you're started to lose your mind.

Javier took a deep breath and began to confide me:

“When we decided to get to know each other better, I didn't think at the time that we would be this close, this fast. You told me I could get a little bit comfortable before opening up, and I intended to tell you in a moment we talked about family, my family, like today. I'm sorry it took a while, but now you know…”

“Okay, that's on me. Fair enough.” - you responded in a cold way. He played by the rules, he didn't lie… However, you couldn't help but feel a little… Deceived. - “Tell me about him, what's his name? Who's he with?”

“His name is Lucas, he's three and loves cowboys and wants to be one like his abuelo Chucho, my dad.” - he contemplated. - “He's with his mother, back in Laredo.”

You nodded, absorbing all the information. 

You were nervous and feeling something else, you just couldn't name it yet. Your gut was telling you something was off, but you only thought you were anxious. 

Nonetheless, it wasn't bad Javier already had a toddler, took the pressure off of you, at least… 

“Lucas is such a beautiful boy, Javi…” - your fingers passed through his eyes, nose, cheeks on the paper. It wasn't familiar to you, but Lucas could look like his mother's family a bit more than Javi's, you supposed.

“I'm sorry I waited so long.” - he stated. - “But yeah, he is. Hope to see him sometime soon.”

“You know you can get a legal absence, right? Steve already took it.”

“I know, cariño. I'll do it soon.”

“Well, I should get going… Gotta get early at the office tomorrow.”

“Cariño, we've been sleeping together and getting there on time everyday…” - he questioned. - “Your place is just across the hall, there's no need for it…”

You changed your outfit back to your dress you wore hours later and picked up your purse and bag.

“I'm serious, I've got an important meeting earlier than usual, don't worry. Good night, Peña.” - you pecked his lips and left his place.

Javier couldn't believe what just had happened. 

He put the photos back where they belonged, leaving just the one with Lucas out.

He sat down on his sofa, that now smelled like your perfume, lit up his cigarette, mumbling possibilities on what to do.

“Hey, Peña, Y/LN wants to see you at her office.” - Steve said, as he arrived at his table. - “Did you fucked something up? ‘Cause she doesn't look happy…”

Javier sighted. 

“I sure did…” - Javier whispered to himself and Steve pretended not to hear. He went to your office, worried. He didn't know what to expect.

“Steve said you called me, jefe.”

“I did, Peña. Lock the door and close the blinds, please.” - and as he did, you got up and sat on your desk, facing him.

You offer him your hand, to pull him closer, with a sweet smile on your face. 

Javier crosses his arms more firmly and looks away from you, avoiding your eye contact and touching your hand. 

His whole body aches for yours, as always, but he held back the urge. 

He's afraid you might break up with him. 

“Y/N, why am I here?” - he asks, a bit rude.

You got up and held his face in your hands, looking at him like he did to you last night.

“Don't play hard balls to me, Javi… It’s okay.” - your tone is sweet and loving towards him and he relaxes.

“Cariño, I missed sleeping next to you yesterday.” - he smiled, but it soon faded, as he saw an expensive and gorgeous set of orchids on your desk. - “Who sent these to you?" - he questioned, focusing solely on the flowers now.

You look at him, confused.

“What do you mean? It wasn't you?”

Javier shook his head without looking up from the flowers. The sight of them made him uncomfortable and he couldn't help feeling annoyed at the mystery that's been presented in front of him. He crossed his arms and glanced back at them, then back at you.

"I didn't send them…” - he murmured. 

“Since the card wasn't signed, I thought it could only be you… Look.” - And you show him the card.

“I've missed you, can't wait to see you in my hands again”

Javier’s eyes shift down to the card as he studies it, looking for some kind of clue about who the sender could be. He sighed quietly and ran his fingers over the edge of the card before looking back at you.

He crossed his arms more firmly, still looking annoyed. 

“So you don’t know who sent it?” - his tone seemed accusatory. 

"Javier, we’ve been seeing each other for the last 2 months, who else would do it?"

Javier’s eyes narrowed as he took a deep breath and tried to keep calm. 

He knows you’re right, but that doesn’t stop the jealousy that started to pass through his veins.

“You don’t have any other guys that might have sent them?” - he inquired again, impatiently. 

"You know I haven't seen anyone besides you, Peña.” - You seemed firm to him in your declaration. 

Javier’s face stiffened at the mention of your ex as he rubbed his fingers through his hair, nervous. He knows about the whole story, but not by you, you haven’t told him… 

Yet.

You only told him that time, when you were drunk.

Javier didn’t care about your ex or any other guy.

You were his.

“Right…” - he mutters, trying to avoid showing too much emotion. 

“Are you jealous, baby?” - provoked him with a playful tone.

Javier raised an eyebrow at you as his silence lingered. He let out a deep breath through his nose, trying to hide his annoyance as he thought about everything that’s happened between you both in the past few months. 

The jealousy he’s feeling eats at him from the inside out, but he tries to ignore it. 

“Jealous? No…” - he said, scoffing a little. “More like annoyed.”

"Why?" - You look at him, still confused.

Javier sighed, crossing his arms tightly as the frustration grows in his voice:

“Why does anyone have flowers sent to them?” - he prompts you. - “Because they’re interested. Because they like you.” - His lips curl into a sarcastic smile. - "Am I supposed to be thrilled about it?"

You rolled your eyes, angry. 

"I didn't say you should be thrilled! It's not my fault a random person sent me flowers!"

“A random person?” - Javier mocked, his eyes narrowing even more as he studies your face. He can’t help feeling more irritated as he realizes that you legitimately have no idea who sent them. - "Then who do you think sent them? Did they magically appear out of thin air?"

“I'm not liking your tone, Javier…” - you alerted him.

Javier’s expression stiffened, his eyes met yours, anger sparking in their depths as he stared at you. 

"Then maybe you should tell me who sent them. You run this fucking office, you can manipulate a president and an ambassador into do whatever you want, ain’t hard, is it?" - he continued to mock you. 

You can see the cop in him, interrogating a suspect, playing with words, cenarios, asking the same things in different ways…

But you’re not one.

“Javier, I’m gonna pretend you didn’t call me a manipulative bitch and just answer that I already told you I don't fucking know!” - you shouted at him, in a harsh tone.

Javier’s face tightened with rage at your voice. His temper had reached its tipping point and he was barely holding it together anymore. He narrowed his eyes at you and the tension in the air heats up, the smell of the flowers only making the situation worse. 

"Give me a fucking name!" - he yelled.

“Javier, I’m really fucking tired of your accusation. Since I was wrong to assume the man I’m dating sent me these gorgeous flowers, which, by the way, orchids are, indeed, my favorite, thanks for asking, I’m gonna find out who did it.” - You pick up the phone, call the flower shop on the card and put on the speaker.

The clerk picked up and greeted you as she waited for you to give your name. 

Javier crosses his arms tightly as he waits for the conversation to unfold, his eyes never leaving your face.

You asked the clerk about who sent the delivery to your address and she checked the order for you, looking up the information about the delivery: she pulled up the details and spoke softly into the phone:

“It says here that a man had sent the delivery for you… No name, though.”

“Miss, he paid with cash or card?”

The clerk paused for a moment to check the bank information attached to the order. She speaks back into the phone. 

“It seems like he paid using a card for this delivery.”

“Miss, I’m an American police officer here in Colombia, I need the info ASAP.”

The clerk seemed panicked by the request provided the details of the card used and you wrote it down and thanked the clerk.

She hung up the call and you were left with the details of the unknown man who sent the flowers. 

You took a deep breath, feeling the tension spreading through your body, as you started to focus on the important parts of the transaction. Your mind wandered back to the man who sent them to you, trying to recall all the men that you’ve investigated recently, and coming up blank.

You put the info on your computer and a name popped out:

Benedict John Smith.

It’s fucking Ben, your ex. 

The fucking orchids were sent from your Ben, but why?

Your chest hurt as you watched the information flash on the screen in front of you. It’s the final piece of the puzzle that confirms your fears. 

“Oh, that probably means he’s out… Oh no, no, no!” - you thought, but tried not to show it to Javier.

Your emotions were all over the place as the thought of him fills your head, and the thought of seeing his name on your computer sends a wave of fear crashing through you.

“So?” - Javier questioned you, pulling you back to the present.

“Mi cielo, ahora sabemos…” (My heaven, now we know…) - you said to him with no emotion in your voice, but Javier didn’t understand at first, so you spin the screen around to face it to Javier, showing him the data that confirms the bouquet was sent by your ex-fiance. His reaction is exactly what you hoped for: he looks angry as he stares at the information on the monitor. 

While he read the info, you throw the orchids in the trash.

Javier sighs deeply, his gaze shifting back to your face. His expression is full of annoyance and irritation as he stares at you, waiting for you to say something.

He stared at the trash can and rolled his eyes, his mood improving slightly: you had a point.

He turned his gaze back towards you, his eyes lingering on you for a moment before he raises an eyebrow. 

“Happy now?”  - you ask fast, in a tone that could kill a man.

"Does that look like I'm happy? That idiot almost ruined my whole day with those fucking flowers!" - he yelped.

“Oh, he almost ruined your day?” - your tone is ironic and rude. - "I'm furious with you too, Javier! You accused me!"

Javier's eyes widened at your response and he took a deep breath, trying to keep his cool. He felt like a jackass – he didn't realize his accusing tone would hit you this hard. He thought he was just being logical.

"Yeah, I know. I'm not proud of it." - He leaned forward a little, his hands balling into fists. -  "I just..."

“You just what?”

Javier sighed quietly as his body tenses. 

"I don’t know… I…"

“You what, Peña?!”

"Cariño…" - His voice seemed calm but a deep something is bubbling under the surface of it. He didn't know how else to describe his feelings.

“Peña, I'm not the one who slept around with half of Medellín!” - you were pushing him to a place you shouldn’t. Your words rang through his ears, sending a jolt of anger straight to his brain. He clenches his jaw and clenches his fist at his side. 

"I don't need you to remind me." - he snarled.  - "I already know how much of a jackass I used to be."

“Used to be? Well, I guess you still are... Old habits die hard, don’t they, Peña?” 

Javier’s expression hardened even more and his grip on his fist tightened. He tries to stay calm but your words hit him like a punch to the gut. He stared at you and grit his teeth, his hate seething internally as he tried to calm himself down. 

“I’m not that person anymore.” - He growls, his voice barely audible.

“Let's hope, for my sake, you really aren't.” - your voice was full of fear and something not you or Javier knew what was. Your comment sparked an immediate reaction from Javier.

In a bold move, Javier leans closer to you, holding your face in his hands, nose-to-nose. 

“You don’t need to worry about me. I’m a different person now.” - his voice is a warm and urgent whisper. - “I’m not gonna hurt you, cariño.”

You closed your eyes and smelled his perfume, relaxing a little. You can practically feel the heat coming off of his body as he leaned into you, his cologne making your eyes feel heavy. You realized how close he is and the feeling sets your skin on fire.

His breath against your neck makes it hard to concentrate on anything but the smell of his scent and how tense the air between you two are. 

Javier leans even closer until his lips are brushing against your neck….

“Javi, what are you doing?” - I murmured, melting under him.

His lips lingered on your neck for a moment, before he pulled back just slightly and whimpered back.

"What does it look like I'm trying to do?" - His voice is deep and rough, the heat from his breath sending chills down your spine.

“Distracting me from my anger…” - your voice barely goes out your throat.

The warmth of his breath sends goosebumps all over your body and it's nearly impossible to think straight. The way he's looking at you drives you crazy and you feel your heart beating even faster than before. 

He leans in just a little bit more, his lips just barely touching your neck. 

"Is it working?" - He kept his voice low and sexy.

“Yeah…”

The sexual tension only grew as your bodies remained close together, the smell of his scent getting stronger and your heart beating a mile a minute. He got even closer again, his lips grazing the skin of your neck. It makes you shudder and all of that anger and tension begins to subside, slowly giving way to something else that was far more pleasurable.

“Javi... Stop teasing me…”

Javier pulls back just slightly, meeting your eyes. You saw the desire in his eyes as he stared at you.

"Why would I stop?" - he asks softly, his lips curling into a smug smile.

“Because I need you, Javi…” - You purr.

"Need me? You sure about that?" - His smile widened as he closed the gap between you two again. His lips were just inches from yours as the heat between you grew hotter and hotter. His lips land right on the corner of yours, just a quick tease before they part again. 

“Oh, Javi... Don't be mean…”

Javier’s expression turned into falsely apologetic: he wanted to tease you. He took a deep breath and leaned forward slightly before pausing in front of your lips. 

“I just need to know, if I kiss you right now, will that make you stop being mad?” - he teased again.

“Why don't you give it a shot?” - you provoked him.

Javier leaned in and finally brushed his lips against yours, his lips are firm but soft as he wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you close to him. His kiss is passionate and gentle, his touch warm and comforting. Your bodies moved together, your arms wrapping around each other and your lips pressed against each other for a long time. 

The kiss intensified as you wrapped your arms around him, pulling him closer. Your passion is uncontrollable and the feeling of his touch made you shiver. 

You feel as though you could lose yourself if he never let you go. 

Your fingers explored every inch of his body just like him explored yours, Javier cursed the minute you decided to wear pants that morning.

It isn’t long before your bodies are tangled in each other and the heat between you is so hot it could almost be considered unbearable.

Javi hugged you tight, and whispered: “Don’t worry, cariño. I’m gonna protect you from him.” - he promised. 

You slightly push Javi, to look at him.

“Peña, I can take care of myself and I know what Ben is capable of… But are you?”

“Of course I a-am,yo-you told me he was a cheating bastard when you were drunk a-and…” - he responded, but his tone was a bit shaky. - “He-he wants you back!”

“Peña, what are you hiding from me?” - you ask, pissed off, taking a step back now. - “Don’t play the jealousy card anymore! You also saw as a threat!”

“Cariño, por favor…”

“Don’t ‘cariño’ me, Peña! Tell me the truth!” - you screamed. - “You’re not gonna spanish your way out!”

Javier closed his eyes, frowning his forehead. 

“I talked to an old pal in NYC about your ex. I know you arrested him for…”

You didn’t want to hear the rest. You stormed out of your office to the archive file, to hide, as you did in the old days in NYC.

Ben was out and knew where you were. You and your family were in danger.

Javier knew about your ex, his cheating and his crimes.

You needed to talk to Javier too.

He wasn’t the only one hiding things.

“What a fucking hypocrate.” - you mocked yourself.

Next

[mysteriouslysaltypoetry]

Cold Nights

Chapter One: Raph x reader story A/N: Hi hello! this is my first time ever posting this kind of story in here! pls be kind and lemme know of any thing that i can do better for the story. Raphael has been my favourite character for forever now so i wanted to show hims some love! This is in the Bayverse universe but some referencesto the other iterations might appear! Chapter 2/3 This was easy enough. Just a look around the club to see if any weird activities were going on, Jones was somewhere in there as well, much easier for him to walk around all these people and mingle. Meanwhile Raph was on a corner, hiding in the shadow, even if things were less tense for them on the surface it didn’t mean that some folks wouldn’t throw him and his brothers dirty looks here and there. So it was just easier to stay low, even if having to do it made his blood boil.

‘At least the music is nice.’ he thought, might not be what he listens to the most, but jazz was soothing, helped him concentrate, he might even tap his foot to it. The fact that the girl singing was fine as hell didn’t help either, the dress she was wearing didn’t leave much to the imagination and her eyes were piercing through the crowd, almost as if looking for anything in particular “huh… interesting .”

The night on and on, Jones came up to him a few times, said that nothing was going on, no one saw anything during the party  so the calls about the suspicious activity was probably just some drunk guy wanting attention. Ah well, at least he got to have some fun and nice drinks Raph thinks, making his way to the outside of the club, it was a bit cold so the area was empty, or so he thought because the smell of smoke brought him back from his thoughts. Lo and behold it was the singer, she was eyeing him curiously, an amused smile gracing her lips. He wasn’t going to lie, she was starting to make him a bit twitchy.

“What? Have ya never seen a mutant before?” It came out more aggressive than he intended but oh well, not like he is gonna see her again.

“Heh! If you count the times I’ve seen you in TV? I’ve seen them plenty of times.” She says with a chuckle throwing her cigarette away to walk closer to him “Relax big guy, I ain’t looking because to be rude, I was just taking you in. You’re taller than I thought, TV really doesn’t do it justice.” She laughs.

His shoulders relax, a sigh he didn’t know he was holding in leaves his mouth “Shit- sorry I’m just used to the other kind of the staring” leaning against the wall Raph takes a good look at her, she was still in her fancy dress but her hair was now up, held together by a fancy hairclip ‘Must be one of those rich girls’ he thinks already making a mental note to be wary.

“Oh I know. I noticed you were basically glued to the corner of the club, tense as all hell and looking everywhere like something was gonna jump atcha” She crosses her arms and looks up at him with a small smile.

‘So she WAS paying attention to her surroundings… REAL good attention’ Raph’s about to say something else when his phone vibrates, it’s Jones telling him that they can go, the party was over and nothing of importance happened so there was no need for them to be there anymore.

!Hockey Prick!

-Dude lets just go, this thing is over and nothing happened, the others are waiting back at the lair.

Raph rolls his eyes, he supposed his friend (ugh) was right, there was no need to stay any longer than need be… even if this very pretty girl WAS making up conversation with him there was no way that she would really want anything to do with him besides kill some curiosity she had from seeing him around on television. When he looks back at her she raises an eyebrow at him, clearly waiting for an answer.

He sighs “Well, as fun as  it was meeting ya, I gotta run, got a friend waiting for me at the entrance.” He nods at her, starting to peel himself from the wall slowly. She hums lowly.

“Hm, I was hoping we could chat some more. But alright, wouldn’t wanna keep your buddy waiting now do we?” she says, extending her hand at him “Name’s (Y/N) by the way.”

“Raphael, but you probably already knew that.” He shakes her hand carefully, her skin soft and cold against his.

“I prefer knowing names from the people themselves.” She tilts her head, friendly grin plastered on her face as they bid their goodbyes.

He chuckles and nods, finally walking to meet up with Casey, a warm feeling on his chest for the first time in the chilly night.

[linddzz]

Dreamling Nonsense Masterpost

Looking for a fic? For a shit post? For a long winded au thread? Playlists? Got it here. Keeping it Dreamling for now until I really have the time to scour through my various fandom posts to collect the Big Hits.

Audacity in Human Form: E. main WIP. A post season 1 "let's see these two figure their shit out" exploration that's best described as two character studies stacked inside of a fanfic shaped coat. My main tagline for it is "it isn't unrequited, Dream just needs therapy." The fic exploring how the two weirdos I have in my head got together.

Fics/Tumblr Ficlets

"Audacity in Human Form" Series

Not exactly a structured chronological series. I have a pretty set version of my Dream and Hob in the canon!universe, so all the fics I write of them are just the same two dolls I'm bumping together in the same sandbox. They can be read in any order or separately, but there are characterization threads and things mentioned that tie them all together. I like to think that put together they can give fun context or more depth to each other :)

I'm less into Big Plots and more into just having fun bumping these dolls together and playing with how they interact!

It's a WIP and I write slow, as my job takes a lot of mental bandwidth.

(Other fics in the same series can be read even while the first isn't done! They don't really spoil much except for the fact that they do end up together. But of course they are.)

In Which Hob, a Shitty Wizard, Meets a Supposed Demon: Gen. Drabble ficlet on Tumblr as I start exploring my Shit-wizard Hob AU. More of a rough draft concept fic

Obviously: E. smut prompt fill one-shot. PWP. Dream is a needy eldritch pissbaby and also violently romantic. Hob scruffs him for some much needed gentle domming.

This Isn't the Trope: Teen. Lots of cussing. Johanna is agressively investigating an immortal man, Hob is looking forward to being dramatically rescued by his hot supernatural boyfriend. No one but Morpheus has a good time.

OTHER FICS/DRABBLES

Audacity in Human Form related posts (esp the ones that broke containment)

"Oysters have nightmares like this"

"Jokes on you, you're into that shit"

Hob: "no. Shut up. I'm talking now."

Characterization Notes aka: I'm gonna start bullying Morpheus

Other mutterings about writing or snippets are under the tags "#my fic" and "#audacity in human form"

AU Cooking:

I'm honestly better at coming up with every single detail for an AU without actually writing the fic, but I like playing in the sandbox and other people seem to have fun with them too :)

Human!AU. There are kinda two versions of this that I'm starting to meld together.

Red Flags AU post: Hob is hired to be the party ruining messy boyfriend, but cannot begin to compete with the insanity that is the Endless family and the Hot Mess Express Morpheus, who hired him. They fall in love instantly. "Why would I fix him??? He's perfect."

Red Flags AU 2: slight deviation from the OG where everything is the same, except Morpheus' messy friend Johanna accidentally introduces them and instantly regrets it. She did not anticipate Hob reacting to Morpheus' red flags like a charging bull.

Assorted Human!Morpheus facts

Shit-wizard Hob AU: where Hob is still immortal, except Death is his Endless buddy. He first meets Morpheus when trying to take up occultism at Fawney Rig (he's bad at it but is gonna stick around now. For reasons.)

Meta-ish Shitposting:

Hob meets Thessaly. Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend" starts playing ominously in the distance when she doesn't appreciate how much of a needy clingy freak Morpheus is.

#1

#2

#3

Spotify Playlists:

I process Blorbo feelings with hyper specific playlists. Putting Dreamling and other fandom ones here bc I guess it's about time I share more of them

Audacity in Human Form PL: 1h33m fic specific. Set up to alternate Dream/Hob POV. Blatant "2012 fandom brain" indulgence in here.

Hot Mess Endless Express: 1hr45m the general Dream playlist. Not ship specific, all romantic songs are how I just see him in any relationship. Mostly serious, except when it isn't but especially when it isnt

The Devil of Fawney Rig: the playlist I imagine goes in Dreams head when he's stuck in a fishbowl and horny for revenge. Made with the shit-wizard Hob AU in mind

Newton Goes Kaiju All Over Everybody's Ass: 1hr it really is too bad that there was never a second Pacific Rim movie but wow isn't Dark!Geiszler a great concept? 🙃

EDDIE I MADE A PLAYLIST EDDIE: 44m Venom made a playlist for Eddie, isn't that nice?

Mountain Son: 1h30m Bagginshield Thorin feelings ahoy. Made with Mahrâna in mind.

The Bacchae: 1h. The soundtrack for the dream production of the Bacchae in my head. Meant to follow the progression of the play

The Huntress and the Maenad: 1h30m insane sapphic bitch in the woods solidarity

Mysteries: 7+hours!!!!!! The ongoing playlist for joining the cult of Dionysus and eating a billionaire in the woods

[useramor]

of firefighters and french toast rating: G | word count: 2k

the one where dr. salazar and eddie's will lawyer are best friends (disclaimer, patient/client confidentiality? nonexistent for story telling purposes. pls ignore <3)

Aline Salazar didn’t often spend much time thinking about her patients. She went to work, took care of people’s hearts, sent them back into the real world, and when she went back home she made sure to leave all of their life stories in the hospital. It wasn’t a weight she needed to carry.

If she let herself get dragged down into the heart problems of Los Angeles, she’d drown.

So she does a good job at separating it. She has her wife at home, her two girls, and a small black cat that likes to curl around her ankles when she walks through the front door. She has her life at work, her coworkers that drive her up the wall a little bit but who she’s secretly incredibly fond of, and the secret stash of Reese’s peanut butter cups that she keeps in her office.

But she has to admit: the men of the 118 tend to linger in her mind. 

The women, too. Hen’s well known. Badass paramedic who’s performed some tricky operations in the back of a moving ambulance. Aline’s heard the stories. 

She’s never been in her office, though. Hen’s heart seems to be relatively intact. 

Aline knocks on wood, just to be safe. The 118’s been through enough, they don’t need to send yet another member of their team to her. Keep them on the other side of the hospital doors; Aline’s starting to worry.

It’s Eddie that she thinks about most. Or, not most, but he’s crossed her mind more than once. Especially after Buckley got brought in after being struck by lightning, and one of the new doctors was complaining that Diaz was yelling at them as they wheeled him through the hospital doors. 

Aline didn’t snort, because that feels a little rude and dismissive, and she does her best to not be either of those things, but…

It’s Buckley and Diaz. She’s seen them on the news—hell, she’s pretty sure most of Los Angeles has. They’re not celebrities or famous, but really (unless you count hospital fame, because, seriously, how are these men not dead yet?), but Eddie got shot in front of Buck. The video of Buck throwing him over his shoulder has just under a million views.

Honestly, Aline doesn’t know how she didn’t recognize him when he came in for his panic attack.

It was probably the girlfriend that threw her off. To be fair, the girlfriend seemed to be throwing Eddie off, too. 

And, yeah, that’s the reason he’s stuck with her more than most. 

She shakes her head. The only reason they’re even on her mind is because Evan Buckley just left her office. Because the man got struck by lightning. 

Seriously, she can’t tell if God or the universe or whoever wants the 118 alive or dead. If it’s alive, they’ve sure got a twisted way of showing it. It’s getting to the point where, if Aline didn’t literally have access to their medical files, she’d probably assume they were supernatural at this point. 

Currently, she’s in her car, on her way to meet up with her best friend for Monthly Mandatory Monday. It’s something Melanie came up with when, during her time in med school, they went almost six months without seeing each other, despite living in the same city. Melanie, her best friend since high school, decided that was unacceptable. 

So now they clear out one Monday every month to get dinner and catch up. They usually see each other more often than that, considering life is finally in a place where it’s a little more settled, but the tradition stuck. 

Her phone pings with a text where it’s sitting in the cup holder. She checks it at a red light. 

Melanie:

Are you on your way 😁

Aline:

ETA 10 min

She gets a notification that Melanie liked the message, putting her phone away when the light turns green. 

It takes her closer to fifteen minutes to get to the restaurant—a little French bistro that’s definitely more suited for brunch, but Melanie’s always insisted that food should not exist within societally constructed time frames, and if she wants berries and french toast for dinner, then she will have them. 

Frankly, Aline’s always down for some well made, fluffy, cinnamon-y french toast. 

“You, Dr. Salazar, are late.”

“You, Ms. Green, didn’t have any actual clients today.”

Melanie shrugs. “Mondays are paperwork days. I did not realize there would be this much of it.”

“That’s because you didn’t pay attention in class. Pretty sure anyone who goes to law school knows there’s gonna be paperwork involved.”

Melanie, unsurprisingly, has nothing to say to that. 

“Anyway, how was your work day today?”

They’re briefly interrupted by a young girl coming by to take their orders. They don’t even need to look at the menu, both of them getting the same thing they get every time they come here. 

She comes back with their drinks quickly, telling them with a polite smile that their food will be out shortly.

“As you were saying?” Aline turns back to her friend as the waitress walks away. 

“Work? How are the hearts of the citizens of LA doing today?”

Aline chuckles, pouring water from the pitcher the waitress left into a mason jar. 

“You remember that firefighter that got struck by lightning? I treated him today.”

Melanie perks up. She’s got an odd fascination with the LAFD. 

“I feel like LA has some of the weirdest fire fighting accidents I’ve ever seen. I doubt Montana has this much excitement with their fire department. Just off the top of my head there’s been that weird blimp incident—didn’t realize blimps still existed, by the way—, two years ago all of the animals at the LA zoo were released onto the streets, we had a tsunami. Did you know the last time a tsunami hit the United States was in 1964? In Alaska.”

Aline smiles. “I did not know that.”

“Well, now you do.”

“Tell me about the firefighter. I saw some coverage of it on the news, he looked really familiar.”

“Pretty sure he’s been on television multiple times by now.”

Melanie takes a sip of her spiked lemonade, because her best friend has the alcoholic drink preferences of a high schooler. 

“Probably. What about that other guy you saw a while ago? The panic attack one, have you seen him since?”

Aline snorts. 

“No, but I’m pretty sure the lightning strike guy is his boyfriend.”

“Wait, didn’t he have a girlfriend?”

Aline nods. The waitress appears with their food, smiling kindly at them before leaving again. 

The first bite is perfect, as it always is. The homemade syrup from the berries mixing with the cinnamon-sugar of the french toast is heavenly. She didn’t even realize she was this hungry until the flavors hit her tongue. 

“God, this place is so good.”

“I know,” Melanie agrees. “Back to what you were saying?”

“Yeah, he had a girlfriend, but I’m pretty sure his panic attack was because of her? Probably some heavy repression and internalized sexuality issues. Not that I’m speculating about someone’s sexuality, but as a gay person who only realized her sexuality at thirty, I recognized some of his panic.”

“Classic. And he’s dating lightning strike guy?”

“I think? I mean, I’ve seen them at the hospital quite a few times. They always seem very friendly, I guess, for lack of a better term, and I heard through the grapevine that Eddie—panic attack guy—was yelling at the doctors when they brought the other guy in.”

Melanie lights up. “Man, why are Eddie’s so—I don’t know—weird? I have a client, his name’s Eddie, too. Did I ever tell you about him?”

Aline shakes her head no, sitting back in her chair knowing she’s about to get an earful of Melanie’s rambling. They’ve been this way since they met. Aline was shy and quiet, kept to herself. Didn’t know anybody at her new school after moving to LA with her family from Florida. 

Melanie saw her first day of Sophomore year. She was loud and bright and hilarious. All over the place and terrible student, but incredibly smart. They sat next to each other in biology. Aline helped her cheat on her exams, Melanie invited her to tag along to games and parties, and they’ve been sort of inseparable since. 

And one thing about Melanie that hasn’t changed is that she can talk for hours. Lucky for her, she has a best friend willing to listen. 

“Okay, so, this is a few years ago, okay? Setting the scene, it’s—huh. I don’t actually remember what month it was, but it was unusually cold and rainy. This is relevant. This guy came in, he had made an appointment over the phone, and I told him I’d have availability in about two weeks, but he said it was urgent, and that his schedule is unpredictable and asked if I could squeeze him in the next day.”

Aline’s eyebrows raise. 

“I know, right? Felt a little rude the way he was so snippy over the phone, but then he comes in and stiltedly spills his entire life story. This guy is, oddly enough, actually, also a firefighter and an army vet, and he’d recently experienced yet another trauma. Remember what I was saying about rain? He’s the guy that got trapped in that well years ago.”

“Oh wow.”

“I could tell it was serious, even though he brushed it off. You don’t go to a lawyer with an impending sense of doom and urgency if what you experienced isn’t serious. Whatever, I didn’t push.”

Aline snorts. She’s not sure there’s a world that exists where Melanie doesn’t push. 

“Shut up, asshole.” 

She throws her napkin across the table, and lands it firmly in the potted plant beside Aline.

“I didn’t say anything,” Aline says, raising her hands in surrender.

“Your laugh did. Whatever, I didn’t push. I didn’t. This was the cagiest man I’ve ever seen. I had to ask him what he was there to do about three times, because he was so shifty about it.”

“Well. What did he want?” “Okay, more backstory, this man is a widow with a son. He has extended family that he’s supposedly close to, but he wanted me to update his will. So that, in case of emergency—and, seeing as he’s a firefighter, those happen often—, his son would go to his best friend.”

Aline frowns. “Okay? Like a godfather? That’s not that out of the ordinary, is it?”

Melanie grins like Aline just fell for the set up hook, line, and sinker. 

“His best friend? Completely unaware. Eddie asked me not to contact him or anything. And when I said you know, he could refuse, this man looked me in the eye for the first time that entire conversation and said with more certainty than I have ever seen anyone possess he won’t. I swooned a little. I hope those two figured it out, honestly.” 

“That’s…wow. Yeah, I hope so, too. I’m just glad my Eddie seems to finally be dating Evan. The lightning strike guy. They’ve been through a lot together.”

Melanie pauses, lemonade halfway up to her lips. “Wait. Evan? As in Evan Buckley?”

Aline blinks in confusion. “Yes?”

“Holy shit, I think we’re talking about the same Eddie. Evan Buckley’s the guy in his will. Diaz? Firefighter with the 118?”

Aline throws her head back and laughs. “Yes.”

Melanie raises her glass and waits for Aline to do the same. “To the same idiot firefighters that happen to be paying for both of our bills.”

Aline snorts. “What you said.”

The rest of the dinner passes by too quickly, the way time between them always seems to. They talk about everything; Melanie shows her all the options for birthday gifts for Aline’s oldest daughter, Aline asks what TV she’s watching now because Melanie has the best taste in sitcoms, and it feels like minutes but it’s actually hours by the time they ask for their check and leave. 

“See you this weekend, right?” Aline asks.

Melanie scoffs. “As if I’d miss Maia’s birthday. I need to maintain my position as her favorite Tia.” 

Aline pulls her in for a hug when they reach the front of the restaurant. Melanie’s already called her uber, and Aline told her wife she’d be home in time for them to watch an episode of Extraordinary Attorney Woo. 

“Hey!” Melanie calls out as Aline’s walking away. “If you see Eddie anytime soon, tell him congrats on finally getting it together and telling Buckley.”

Aline laughs. “Will do, Mel.”

[collapsedglasshouses]

An Angel For Noah || Noah Sebastian x OC [Part 2]

DIVIDER ART WORK BY @cafekitsune

PART ONE

PAIRING: Noah Sebastian x Jules (she/her)

SUMMARY: Jules knew it would be hard to start her journey as an guardian angel, but the harder part was to let go of her past...

WARNINGS: mentions of panic/anxiety attacks, mentions of blood, swearing, (let me know if i missed something)

A/N: Let me just start with this: AAAAAAAH... thank you... Okay, let's just say this, I cried a little while writing this... This fanfic is gonna break me into pieces, but I can't suffer alone so here is part 2...

TAGLIST: @trvshdxddy @blackveilomens (if you wanna be added, pls let me know in the comments)

Keep in mind, this takes place in an alternative universe. Even though I write about real people, the way I write them has nothing to do with how they are in real life.

Jules took a deep breath and stared ahead of her. She didn't even know what to do now. Keaton had given her a name and where to find that guy. Noah Sebastian, singer of a metal core band called "Bad Omens", was living somewhere in this street and her first task was to find him.

Jules swallowed hard. She knew Keaton said, it would be easy and how guardian angels are always similar to the person, they need to protect, but at this moment, she couldn't think of a single thing she should have in common with this Noah guy.

She had been a violinist for most of her live, had been what people described as prude or boring and always obeyed to her parents rules. Literally everything she wouldn't think, when thinking of a metal band member.

She never had been a big fan of the harder kinds of music, calling herself a die hard Swiftie, during her short lifetime. The life size cardboard cutout of Harry Styles that was probably still standing in her bedroom couldn't have agreed more to that.

She sighed while walking down the street. She asked herself if Keaton couldn't have been a bit more precise with his explanations and instructions, when she walked up to the third door and didn't read the names she was looking for. It bugged her that she couldn't just pull out her phone to type in the address and she found it rather bold from those angels that they hadn't given her some kind of device or powers to make it easier for her to find her target. What made her even more mad was, when she realised she couldn't fly. She felt robbed. She was literally just an invisible spirit with a task to fulfill that wasn't just finding her well deserved peace.

She couldn't do anything cool and she was literally invisible to everything and everyone.

She stopped in her tracks, when she realised that. She was in fact invisible. How the hell was she supposed to help Noah, if he can't even see her? Was he even allowed to see her? She felt like she was part of an episode of Supernatural and was about to meet the Winchester brothers.

When she started to walk again, she let her gaze wander over the houses. At least she would be in a good neighborhood. Not like she had to worry about being kidnapped anymore (you know, the sad things women need to worry about) but it was still somehow calming her nerves a bit.

When she walked up to the fourth house, she finally read the last names Keaton had told her about. She was about to be pleased with her work, when she notices the next problem.

What now?

She couldn't just ring the bell and show herself.

Like...

Hey, I'm your guardian angel, your friend Keaton sent me.

She was pretty sure, she couldn't even show herself at all.

Jules let out an frustrated groan, before looking around, trying to find another way to get into the house. Sadly she had also learned the hard way, that she couldn't walk through walls, when she tried it about an hour ago.

She snuck around the house, just to find a fence, she definitely couldn't just climb over. She sighed again and looked at the building. It looked like a typical upper class house in Los Angeles. At least it looked like their music was starting to pay off.

She still tried to climb up the high fence and if she would have still been alive she definitely would have broken at least a bone.

"Why can't I just fly!" She screamed out in agony. "This is such bullshit."

While she continued to mutter out profanities and tried to climb up the fence, the front door opened and none other than Folio and Davis step out of it.

She stopped in her tracks, when she heard their voices.

"I thought Noah already went grocery shopping with Ruffilo?" She heard one of the guys say and was sure she almost reach high speed after hearing that name while sprinting to the door. She saw two men, one with with short dark hair and one with long hair and a streak of grey in it.

"Nah, Noah was in the studio all day and Nick drove to his girlfriend. I think that's on us today." The man with the grey streak in his hair answered, while fidgeting with his car keys.

She couldn't concentrate on their conversation any longer, her only goal being to slip into the house as fast as possible before it was closed again. Right before the second guy got the chance to lock her out again, she, again, ran as fast as she could and soon found herself standing inside the house. She literally felt like an intruder.

So, where is he? She thought to herself and carefully looked around the room, she was standing in. It was the living room. To her right was a staircase. When she heard some noise from above, she decided it would be best to go after it.

She took her first steps really quietly until she released that nobody would hear her, so her steps became a bit more eager. Quickly, she found the room the noise was coming from and to her luck and surprise, the door to the room stood slightly open. Just far enough that she would fit through.

From the inside, she heard someone singing quietly. She felt the goose bumps creeping up her arms and instantly knew without a doubt, that she would find the person she was looking for inside this room.

When the guy stopped for a second, she carefully made her way inside the small studio and took a first glance at the person she would protect from now on. When her eyes laid on him, she felt something inside of her, she never felt before. A feeling she couldn't quiet describe. There were no words in the world for the pureness she felt when her eyes laid on him. Something inside her just clicked and she knew she needed to be close to him.

She took a careful step towards him and took in his form. He was sitting there and played some soft tunes on a keyboard that was connected to his computer. His ears were covered with headphones. From her perspective, she could get a quick glance at his tattooed neck. A hand grabbing an apple and a snake wrapping around said apple perfectly. A clear reference to the story of Adam and Eve.

When he began to sing again, she felt herself drawn even closer to his presence and without even thinking she stepped next to him to get a better look of his face.

He had really beautiful dark eyes and if you looked close enough, you could notice the small freckles on his face. In this moment she was more than glad that he couldn't see her, because she was creepily leaning on the desk to see him better.

Than for a brief second his eyes shot in her direction. That almost made her fall over in shock. She held her chest when she backed away from him. For a moment she legitimately thought, he had looked her dead in the eyes. When her breath finally started to settle again, she noticed it must have been a coincidence, because when she dared to look at him again, he had gone back to his normal position.

At this moment she realised, how bizarre this whole thing really was. She was sitting in the room of a singer, who she hadn't seen or heard of before and was literally as dead as it gets. She stared at a stranger, while just being a fucking spirit in his room.

She wiped over her face in disbelief, before starting to walk up and down his room, while he was humming a melody. She had a feeling, like she couldn't breathe anymore. She was fucking dead. Her live on earth was over.

How the hell was she fitting to be a guardian angel? She didn't have a good attention span and now was suppose to watch a stranger's every move.

Why couldn't she just have her well deserved rest? She was fucking run over by a car. She hadn't even had her first relationship before she died. Why didn't her grandpa just babysit Noah? He had literally 70 years more of life than she had.

When Noah stood up from his spot, Jules was in tears. It was so unfair. Why her? What did she do to deserve this? She was a literal Straight A student, had good friends and did her utter best. Tried to be as perfect as possible. But nothing mattered anymore. Nobody would remember her and the afterlife was cruel enough to not give her some rest.

Noah made his way out of the small studio, but Jules couldn't get up. Her thoughts just didn't stop. She just wanted to go. She wanted to go back.

She couldn't even think about her parents, her chest starting to burn when she thought of them. They showed her nothing but love throughout her life and right now she had a feeling, like she never appreciated them in the slightest. While she was grateful for everything, she still thought far too often that everything in her life was simply given to her. Her parents worked their asses of for her to get the opportunity to go to Juilliard and she was so dumb to get run over by a car, because her phone was that much more important.

With that it was over for her. It felt like someone was clutching her throat. She couldn't take full breaths anymore. Her mind started to race even faster, while her tears felt like literal lava on her skin. She wanted to go back. Wake up in that hospital bed. See her family. Hold their hands. Never let them go. She couldn't do this. How the hell was she supposed to do this?

She cradled her head in her hands and laid on the floor in fetal position, when suddenly...

It was warmer around her. She instantly was able to breathe again. She opened her eyes and found herself back in that white room, where she landed after her grandpa talked to her.

She sat up and looked around.

Next to her sat Keaton.

"What's going on, Jules?" He asked her and stroked her back reassuring. Tears were still running down her cheeks.

"I can't do it, Keaton." She cried out so quietly, Keaton almost didn't hear her. "Why are you even here? Aren't you suppose to protect your people?"

"You are one of my people." He quickly told her. "Just because you are as dead as me, doesn't mean you don't need someone looking over you."

Her heart warmed with that statement. She couldn't believe her ears. Never had she felt so save like she did with him next to her. He made her feel save.

"How am I suppose to help Noah, when I couldn't even help myself?" She asked with a raspy voice.

"You can do it, believe me. I could do it too." He reassured her. "I thought I couldn't do it myself and look at me now. Sitting next to the girl I should have protected." He laughed bitterly. "It's okay to fail. It is more important to know you tried."

She saw how his eyes became watery and quickly reached out to put her arms around him. When he hugged Jules back, it was everything the both needed to go on. For the moment, she didn't want to let go of him, knowing the seriousness of their task would come back soon after. But suddenly...

... Jules heard a shattering noise from downstairs and was quickly snapped out of her thoughts and the save room. She set in the studio for a second. But without even thinking she found herself next to Noah.

She looked around her and was shook to see she teleported herself right next to him. Tears were still streaming down her face, but she immediately looked for Noah, who was now bent over the sink and rinsed his finger, which he cut. He was muttering profanities under his breath, while Jules still tried to contain her cries.

She knew she needed to get over this. It was hard, but this was her life now, if you could even call it that. This was her existence now and she needed to make sure Noah would be save.

She couldn't fail him too.

READ PART THREE HERE.