#pls make me cry with criticism

[homeless202]

I’m new here and I absolutely love your type of blogs with analysis and meta and long texts~~

I was wondering—is Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship the kind that could be interpreted as romantic?

first of all, welcome and ty! and sorry it took me so long to reply, i hope u're still around anon. now to answer ur question

i'll take this opportunity to share all my thoughts on the topic bc i have Many.

TLDR: it is possible to read it as romantic if you really want to, but it's not meant to (at least not as of right now in the story aka ch.224)

deep dive under the cut as to why

-> can Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship be interpreted as romantic?

i like how you phrased that bc, the thing is, interpretation is very subjective. you're welcome and allowed to interpret things however you want, but in EY&HJ's case, i feel like you'd have to work a lil extra hard to get to that point.

-> is Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship meant to be interpreted as romantic?

this one's easy bc no. objectively Not. the genre of No Home is drama and slice of life (and once upon a time, horror). even if they were to ever end up in a romantic relationship, that's not what the story is about.

when i ask myself what the author's intention is with this story, i'd say it's to (realistically) portray how a young person with trauma would navigate another young person's trauma. and showing how easy it is to unintentionally fuck it up for various reasons: lacking context as to what exactly said trauma is, generally not knowing how to navigate it, their own trauma getting in the way, lacking the necessary resources. take your pick.

think of it like "how should i carry someone else's baggage when i have my own to deal with?" while also keeping in mind they're kids; they often don't have enough experience to know how to help, and even when they know what the right thing to do is, they're not old enough to take (legal) action.

and especially, the most heart-breaking yet realistic thing, when you're just getting to know someone, you can't know everything about them. it's so easy to accidentally do or say sth that cuts or offends when it wasn't meant to. but when they've got their own issues, it's hard not to take it personally (eg. EY talking about HJ's parents without knowing his mom died not long ago in the beginning of the story).

-> what even is Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship??

this one's so funny bc i have no idea how to answer and i'm convinced not even EY and HJ themselves would know how to answer. they're not really friends; they got off on the wrong foot and kept walking with two left feet way too much to call themselves friends. the things that pushed them together the most were the dorms (not anymore) and the same friend group (more or less since EY has multiple).

what fits them best i'd say is "the universe forced us together against our will and now we're stuck with one another altho we hate each other" (<- at least in the beginning) extended with the "misery loves company" sentiment. finding comfort in someone who gets it, even tho they only kinda get it but not really but it works out anyway except it doesn't <- THERE'S NO NAME FOR THAT *cry* they invented a new type of character dynamic smh (i've never read a pairing with so much (romantic) potential only to see them completely fuck up their chance so royally by the end of their interaction EVERY SINGLE TIME. like yeah, enemies to lovers whatever BUT NOT TO THAT LEVEL HOLY SHIT)

they've changed each other, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. they're compatible in the way they understand each other on a deeper level and incompatible in the way they don't.

...however...

this is how HJ thinks of EY: (and also what No Home is truly abt)

and this is how EY feels about HJ after EY found out HJ used to steal as well (aka that HJ isn't perfect like the stuck up bitch EY thought he was at first):

so...

<- -> EY's first impression of HJ was that he was looking down on him and sth like "does this guy have ulterior motives? or is he just that naive being so trusting?" until EY found out HJ wasn't that different from him. after that, EY started admiring HJ for still managing to achieve things in life despite the hardships he had to go through. the type of admiration that can easily (and sometimes does) slip into envy.

-

since the beginning, EY has helped HJ (or at least tried to) without him knowing. sometimes it worked out, sometimes not. most times EY tried doing sth nice for HJ was (from EY's perspective) in return to HJ trying to help him or doing nice things for him (which, again, sometimes worked out, sometimes not). EY was just paying back a debt to "this stubborn naive guy who keeps getting into trouble and butting into his business. gotta look out for this idiot or he might get scammed." (<- eg. when EY offered to get HJ's money back from his uncle)

he doesn't do it for credit or friendship or out of obligation, he's just doing what he thinks is the right thing bc he doesn't want to owe anyone anything. he can't accept people just genuinely being kind, genuinely caring and genuinely wanting to help. but he's been learning and slowly coming to terms with it.

-

<- -> HJ first wanted to try befriending EY despite not liking him bc, well, the guy did steal his wallet and stab him in their first interaction. after trying and failing at it multiple times, thanksgiving happened, and HJ started thinking of EY as his underclassman bc he realized EY's just a kid with issues and he should keep an eye on him (discretely bc EY hates pity).

-

with time HJ has come to understand EY better by going after him whenever he ran off and slowly realized that EY does mean well and has his reasons (as fucked up as they might be sometimes). but his mentality abt EY is still "i gotta push him in the right direction cuz he's my underclassman and i unintentionally got attached to him (somehow??)" (also bc he knows EY already gave up on himself so he needs a lil help to find his way again. also also bc he knows EY is lowkey suicidal and he's scared it'll be his fault if sth happens) <- his care for EY comes from a protective/nurturing (/possibly maybe guilty) place which started when he realized EY was just a kid^^. in other words, HJ still bothers with EY out of a subconscious sense of responsibility/obligation in a way (a good way tho. or at least a way that gets better)

see, sth i struggle with is if HJ thinks he has to or wants to or thinks he should or can't just not help/care for EY. i can't exactly pinpoint where the sentiment is coming from. his face is too blank for me to read sometimes T_T

-

to summarize: HJ is EY's goal, what EY wishes he could've been. and EY is HJ's 'responsibility' so to speak (bc 'burden' doesn't quite fit since HJ is there for EY willingly) -> EY has a positive opinion of HJ while HJ has a neutral opinion of EY (which is also gradually getting better)

note1: i think HJ's intention (maybe subconsciously) was to be to EY what HJ's upperclassman was to him. aka someone who's there when you need it and can help guide you. it would explain why HJ kept chasing after EY despite not really having a reason to and EY repeatedly rejecting HJ's care/help.

note2: i also believe the 'upper-under-classman' relationship dynamic fits them the best atm bc it also matches the way the story often singles EY out as he's the only second year (aka younger) of the 6 MCs.

-> Romance in No Home?

another thing i should mention is that No Home rarely leaves things open for interpretation. the deepest arguments EY&HJ had were always spelled out for us, to make us understand exactly what the problem was, and how there isn't a good guy and a bad guy. it's just two people with issuesTM.

from what we've seen in the story up to this point, i couldn't pick out a moment where i'd go "here! that's romantic! that's the moment they realized SomeThing!" yk

when it comes to romance specifically, i feel like a handful of opportunities were missed. there are scenes which could've easily been written trough a rosy lens but simply weren't.

exhibit A:

HJ was speechless bc "wow this mf really is actively picking a fight with an authority figure. i gotta make sure things don't escalate" not bc "hoLY sHiT hE's PreTTy. all his fangirls are on to something". however, this only becomes more clear when you keep reading the next few chapters, so i understand how you could interpret it as the latter.

exhibit B:

here they got so close and the moment was so deep bc "woaa he said he believes me. no one's said to me that before!". unfortunately, EY was panicking too much for it to mean something bc of the guilt he felt for HJ trusting someone so undeserving of trust like EY.

exhibit C:

this is maybe the closest we got to romantic between these two. i think this might be the only (or at least first) ever deep interaction between them that didn't end in a fight or misunderstanding. is it meant to be romantic tho? -> ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-> what do i think?

first, full transparency: i went into reading this story fully expecting it to be a BL and for EY&HJ to end up together. but the more i kept on reading, the more i got the ick thinking about them being in a (romantic) relationship bc, at least from what we've seen so far in the story, their relationship would be so ToxicTM (which i personally don't enjoy reading).

as they are right now, i wouldn't want them to be together like that. like, honestly, you still can't really consider these two even friends; they just tolerate each other if the stars align correctly (altho, i'll admit, their relationship is gradually getting better!!). every big argument they had i thought "god, there's no coming back from that. i'd cut ties so quickly if was them wtf". i still don't know how they managed to keep on interacting, props to them ig.

there's a lot of unresolved issues between them. and a lot of resentment which would not bode well in a romantic relationship. the smallest argument would turn explosive and they'd be, at best, in an on&off type of relationship. they both have the power to break the other and neither would be afraid to use it. they have a lot of history together, which is not always pleasant, so if they ever were to go the romantic route, it would have to be a long way to go.

technically, i could see them in a romantic relationship if they both went to therapy first and talked out all the baggage they're carrying (both individual and shared). realistically tho, what i think will happen at the end of No Home is that either they never cross paths again after high school ends (which would absolutely break my heart Wanan pls don't), or they somehow (unintentionally) end up living together bc they both desperately needed a roommate to pay rent (which would be a hilarious fucking gag LMAO). just, HJ going to uni/work and EY doing his own thing (prolly an actor) while still cohabiting together; hanging out to watch a movie before bed <- (whether platonic or romantic being left up for interpretation)

<- -> in conclusion, from what we've seen up to this point, their relationship is mainly upper-under-classman; reluctant (maybe) friends who tolerate each other but also care (too) deeply. they've changed each other, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. in some ways they're compatible and in others they're not.

all this being said, their relationship is improving and romance between EY&HJ is not impossible, just rather unlikely imo. but, again, interpretation is subjective and u're welcome to read their relationship however you want.

[jocelynmakenna]

Just rewatching 3x43 for no real reason but Matt mentioned the fact that predathos left twisted life forms in its wake....

Anyway remember the Darrington Brigade where a meteor falls to exandria, making the wolves and the duck (quackthulu my beloved) super fucked? And then they turned the meteor over to a member of the assembly???

I'm sure that means nothing....

[trashwalkingintotrash]

Finallyyyyyy finished Moonlight Chicken and omfg it was so good. I'm so late to the party, so everyone's already said what makes this shoe such a great piece of art. I just wanna say I agree with you all and once again - p'aof, I owe you my life

[orcelito]

that one bookmark is gone and on one hand im glad i dont have to see it anymore but on the other hand im a little embarrassed at the thought of them having seen me have a whole mini spiral about it at like 5 am. like sorry random person ig

[diabeticgirl4]

"I'd like to carve the de Rolo crest on her forehead" first of all how dare you

[mvncesa]

thinking about sobieski still … thinking about him with his baby niece …

[doyunhos]

a**** are so dramatic help 😭

[leeflms]

“𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐘 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐂𝐑𝐘”

minors DNI.

synopsis: He's a pretty crier, but he's even more prettier when he's crying from too much pleasure.

warnings: riding, GENDER NEUTRAL Reader, unprotected sex, NSFW

author's note: this is my first time writing actual smut and posting it here pls have mercy on me,, criticism and advice is greatly appreciated! ^^

NSFW UNDER THE CUT

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

There was something you oddly loved about your boyfriend, you loved it whenever he was crying.

You don't mean it in a way that you love it whenever Dan Heng feels so sad that he ends up crying, you'd never wish for him to be gloomy. It was because he's not the type to open up to people often, and the fact that he's comfortable with you, and trusts you enough that he lets you see him in his vulnerable state, makes your heart melt.

You also loved it because he looks pretty when he's crying. He always looks pretty, whether he's Imbibitor Lunae or not, he's still pretty. But he's even prettier when he cries.

Your boyfriend is a pretty crier. His eyes would end up looking so glassy as tears welled up. Cheeks and nose all flushed up as tears stained his face. His lips would be quivering while he softly sniffled.

You loved it even more when he was crying because of the pleasure you'd give him whenever the two of you were in bed. It was a thought that people would most definitely shame you for, but could you even blame yourself if Dan Heng was a pretty whimpering mess under you?

It was a rare occasion for Dan Heng to let you be the one on top of him. Incoherent words accompanied by whimpers came out of his mouth as you rode him. Poor Dan Heng, he was so fucked out that he couldn't even think properly. You were just too good, you made him feel too good, you felt so tight around him.

Dan Heng started to tear up as he started to feel close to his release. "Ah— Please— Fuck.. Y-Y/N— I'm gonna—" He panted. The way you leaned over to kiss his forehead, and whisper sweet nothings to him, telling him how good he was doing for you, while also interlocking your hands with his was enough to send him over the edge.

It didn't take long enough until Dan Heng came inside you and filled you up to the brim. You started to move at a lower pace, grinding on his cock, trying to get out every drop of his essence.

His hips twitched as he looked at you with teary eyes. It was a sight to see to watch your reserved and cold boyfriend become a beautiful mess all because of you. "So pretty." You mumbled, smiling softly at him.

Before you could even get off of him, a firm grip on your waist stops you from moving. "No.. Don't get off yet.. I-I need more, please…" He said as he lowered you onto his dick, burying it deep inside your warm walls.

[sanjisprincesss]

Make me sweat make me hotter

Synopsis- How the jjk men eat you out.

Cw- nsfw->porn w/ no plot! Mdni- fem reader! Oral(f) cunnilingus, cum eating. Fingering.

Kiemos note- I was really horny when I wrote this. Also I’m still a rookie a writing smut so pls bear with me! constructive criticism, is appreciated🫶🏽.

Gojo Satoru

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again. Gojo Satrou is a tease. This..man where do I even begin. We all know Gojo likes to talk, this includes when he’s in between your thighs. Smooth talking his way into your pussy. With your legs over his shoulders. Hands keeping your legs apart. This man would tease your clit, speeding up just to go back extremely slow. He would momentarily go down towards your cunt giving it a few kitten licks going back towards your clit. He would repeat this until you're begging him for how badly you want to feel his tongue. When he finally decides to give you what you want. He does NOT leave you unfulfilled. He as you scream his name while he does his magic. Sucking on your clit as you squirm at his rough tongue sucking and licking your clit. Before you know it you’re cumming on his tongue. He licks you clean before Bringing his head up to meet your fucked out expression.

Geto Suguru

Oh he’s evil wit it. First off, I think this man is a sucker for face-sitting. Something about you riding his face is just so hypocritical to him. Unlike his best friend. He would instantly go to town when gets to eat you out. Not wasting a second. I get the feeling he’s soppy with it too like, expect the wetness mixed with his saliva to be all over his face. He pulls his hair up so it doesn’t get in the way. With all honesty Geto was ready as soon as you asked him to go down on you. Licking and sucking at your clit and your cunt. Back and forth leaving you a shaking and crying mess. Hands pressing your legs apart as much as possible. Not messing a drop of your arousal. Not letting not a drip waste. Yeah this man will leave you with your whole body shaking.

Nanami Kento

Another man who gets off on your pleasure. This man is most definitely nasty with it. You’d think otherwise but no Nanami is not classy when he’s eating you out. He has you sitting on his face. Legs spread. Hands on your thighs restraining you from squirming. Kissing your clit licking it. Swirling his tongue around your folds before flicking his tongue to your entrance. He whispers soft praise from time to time. Groaning into your cunt as you ride his face. He’s instantly pussy drunk as soon as his lips meet your folds. Sucking on your clit before he fingered your entrance. Curling his long fingers in and out of you while continuing to suck and lick at your clit. Sending you to your climax.

Fushiguro Toji

Oh I’m about to go off. And the number one sloppiest pussy eater goes too! Toji is a very messy eater. Hands down. I will die on that hill. He has you on your back. As he spreads your legs out as much as possible. Why do I also get the feeling he would get it from the back?! His head deep between your legs. First he starts off slow. Kissing your folds. Then going back up to kiss and suck at your inner thighs. After he decides to dive into your pussy. Sucking and licking at your clit. He has your back arching and toes curling at the feeling of his rough tongue lapping at your folds. As he turns his attention towards your entrance. Tongue fucks you into seeing stars. Salvia dripped down his chin and lips. While he turns his attention back to sucking your clit before using his fingers to reach your sweet spot. Sending you over the edge. He wasted no time licking up your arousal. Before coming back up to send you too into a heated kiss.

Kamo Choso

When I tell you he gets pussy drunk. Oh gets pussy drunk. As soon as he got his first taste he was addicted. He's absolutely obsessed with your pussy, you in general. He just can’t get enough of you. If anything, he’s asking you to eat you out. Choso would eat you out for hours. He would stop until you told him to. Laps at your cunt. Licking at your clit sucking at it. I have a feeling that he’s the type to actually get off on your moans and the taste of your folds alone.Like choso cum in his pants untouched. The likelihood of him getting off to the smell of your cunt. Licking up every drop, licking you clean.

[excalibur-gone-missing]

Paring: jeonghan x fem!reader

Requested: yes [Can you please write something angsty for prince DK? Or if this is too vague, what do you think about a bet au with Jeonghan?] [By anon]

Genre: angst, coworkers to lovers, fluff, fuckboy au, opposites au, bet au

Warning(s): misogyny, jeonghan is an asshole and so is seungcheol, [if you find more pls inform ]

Summary: Jeonghan had plans on never talking to the quite coworker they hired, but like doesn't always pan out the way we want to. But when you add money to the problem, plus both your feelings, you have the perfect recipe for disaster.

Word count: 5.2k

Other works

disclaimer: this is not the exact representation of the subjects in real life. I just use them for my inspiration.

a/n: I request each and every one of you to comment on this fic don't be a silent reader it helps me as an author to understand my readers and i would love to communicate with all of you. Constructive criticism is always welcomed by me so do talk about this fic or send me an ask. Plus, if you loved it enough don't forget to reblog, it will help me reach a larger audience.

a/n 2: i hope it was what you wanted, thanks for the ask btw!

Everyone at the office knew that Jeonghan was a free spirit, he worked hard and partied even harder. He like living his life in the most happening way possible. Be it weekend trips, bike trips to the mountains or staying in the countryside for a week and working remote while enjoying the serenity that comes with it, he was down for anything.

Funnily enough he was referred to as the least energetic person in his friend group. So, one can imagine overzealous they normally were.

His work more often than not was impeccable, no one could fault him at all. The rising star of the corporate world they called him at the office. In his five years at the job the man had garnered more approval than anyone else.

He liked his life, and he would not trade it for anything else.

Now, unlike Jeonghan you resided on the other side of the spectrum. Your kind of life was pretty monotonous waking up before your alarm, making your bed, skipping meals, and surviving on coffee, reaching, and leaving work on the dot and crying while rewatching your favorite shows, was your kind of life. You like staying in during the weekends and cleaning up the mess you make in your living space during the weekdays and trying everything in your power to not upset your cat while doing so.

Its calm, chill, maybe a bit boring but it worked for you and brought you peace.

You were the newest recruit in your office and from the first day you captured the attention of most of your coworkers for your meticulous and polite words.

More often than not you refuse to talk to your coworkers ensuring that there stays a professional boundary between you all and if they would not catch onto your behavior, you would politely decline them.

Never that interested in networking, you refuse to talk to more people than you need to.

Jeonghan caught onto it pretty early, but why did it matter to him what you did, so like everyone else he went on his own way and simply chose to ignore you.

Ten months into your new job was when you first had a real conversation with the man. It was pretty late at night, both of you had to stay back for overtime. That was when you saw him struggling with his presentation for the next day’s meeting.

That day you broke the ‘no talking to my coworkers rule unless and until it’s very important’ rule.

“what’s the problem?” you politely asked the man.

“Oh, I am having slight problem with the numbers here,” the man replies looking visibly confused and surprised.

“If you want, I can help you out” you kindly stated as Jeonghan casually just turned his laptop towards you.

So, for the next one and half hours you both sat there and diligently worked on the presentation and by the end of it the material looked rather good and presentation worthy.

Looking extremely grateful the pretty man said, “I am so thankful you helped me out today, so why don’t I repay you by dropping you off at your house, it’s pretty late you know.”

Looking at your watch you politely replied, “no worries, plus if I rush a bit, I can catch the last bus home so please don’t bother.”

Jeonghan looked bummed at this, but he was obliged nonetheless as he knew you to be an introverted lady and he did not want to make you uncomfortable.

--

The next time you and Jeonghan had a conversation, was again at a night when you both were staying at the office over time. By this time, you have become pretty comfortable with each other, not enough to hold a conversation but enough to spare a quick nod and a smile while passing by each other’s cubicles.

He was done with the day’s work and was about to leave the office when he noticed you hunched over your laptop looking frustratingly at your screen which showed you an open excel sheet with infinite numbers.

Feeling like he owed you the help, Jeonghan strode towards you and calmly said “let me see.”

Jumping in shock you looked at him and replied, “oh no don’t bother I can figure it out you should go home it’s pretty late you know.”

Tsking at your reply he grabbed a chair to sit beside you while saying “it’s only fair, you helped me out so I should help you now.”

You let him, in actuality you needed that little help from him, the data entries were annoying you and you absolutely did not like it one bit.

Just like that time passed by again resulting in the clock to show that it was quarter past one by the time you both were done.

This time though Jeonghan shut down all your protests to go about his own way and your reluctance to inconvenience him with a simple “it’s pretty late and I won’t let you get followed by some creeps on the road plus the last bus is gone anyways so you are coming with me.”

On the way he stopped at a convenience store to get some dinner for you both and you devoured your ramen while chatting with him.

You both were pretty similar, in some cases for example you both had this extreme love for Legos that existed beyond measurable amounts, both of you loved your pets to death, albeit his was a rock and yours was a cat, but as he said “we don’t discriminate peoples pets here, they can have what they want to but given its legal and safe for the pet.”

On the other hand, Jeonghan liked you too, he was happy he could be the first one to break your shell to meet the real you and he was proud of this. It was close to an achievement for him.

--

“Han like this new chick in his office.”

Joshua loudly announced to the group of boys sprawled in his living room one evening. Jeonghan’s friends had come to his house to hang out and to get drunk out of their wits to forget the stress of the tedious weekend they had. They were all friends from college, now working jobs in the most contrasting industries ever like Seungcheol was the manager for their states football club and Soonyoung was a choreographer working with famous celebrities, Hansol on the other hand was the proud of a pet shelter and the one and only Joshua was an English history professor who most days worked overtime at the university. But at the end of the day, they were all the loud and obnoxious assholes he knew and loved from his younger days, and nothing could compare to that.

“Really you never told us about this one hyung?” Mingyu enquires.

“Nah she is just a new hire at the office, does not like talking to people at all. She is more antisocial than Wonwoo’s ass.”

“Really now, antisocial?” Seungcheol enquires, not missing Jeonghan’s defensive tone.

“Yes, Cheol antisocial, plus I don’t even know her enough,” the male says while rolling his eyes at his friends interest with you.

“Maybe you could talk to her and get her out of her shell, you are a pretty good mediator in our group I think you could do that,” pipes up the ever so benevolent Seokmin.

“Yes, you could,” Seungcheol joins him smirking a bit.

Now thoroughly annoyed Jeonghan exclaims “no I cannot. The only way someone can get that stuck up bitch out of her shell will be fucking her or something and I do not want to do so!”

“What if I pay you, will you do it then,” Seungcheol says still smirking.

“Do what?”

“Fuck her enough to get her out of her shell.”

The whole room goes silent at that statement.

“Hyung, I don’t think it’s right,” the youngest of them, Chan, suddenly speaks.

“Yes, its morally incorrect man,” Jeonghan agrees.

“I will pay you, plus life is pretty boring. This will give us something to talk about for at least the next year,” the oldest explains still smiling a bit.

“I agree with the others, its emotionally taxing and nothing good will come out of doing something like this man, plus what are we teenagers making bets about emotionally harming others?” Joshua says.

“Jeonghan, you do it and I will give you a thousand bucks,” the oldest says calmly. At the same time all the men in the room let out an exasperated sigh, knowing there is no winning with this stubborn man, while hoping silently that Jeonghan does not succumb to the greed.

But alas they were wrong, so wrong. An amount that lucrative will only be passed by a fool and Jeonghan was no such thing. He stood up from his place at the loveseat and confidently strode over to Seungcheol.

“You better keep your fucking word,” he says while shaking the older man’s hand.

While Seungcheol smiles and says, “you know what you complete the bet within the next six month I’ll give you a five thousand and if you don’t end up doing it, you gotta pay me pal.”

--

After that evening with his friends, Jeonghan was pretty stressed, because why should he not be? Making you sleep with him is hard enough, but making a situationship out of it sounds even harder. Now he thoroughly regrets accepting the bet.

You on the other hand are pretty happy and quiet as you often are. Very much unaware of his internal turmoil, as you keep talking excitedly about the new Lego death star you bought.

Yes, you and Jeonghan have bonded quite a bit these past few days, he likes spending time with you too, and so do you. It is a nice and comfortable friendship you both have built, and you like it.

“Why don’t you let me come to your place this weekend, and we can build the set together. We can get takeout later too,” he suddenly speaks up shocking you with such forward proposition.

“Well only if you want to though no pressure, it’s just that I really wanted to build the death star and was planning to buy it but like couldn’t make enough time to do –”

“Sure, you can come,” you speak up stopping his nervous rant.

“Are you sure?” Jeonghan asks just to make sure he heard it correctly.

“Yes, I am, it will be fun to build the Lego set together,” you say smiling.

“Yes, it would be, but like are you really sure,” he says again to make sure he is really not hard at hearing.

“Jeonghan if you ask me once again, I will take back what I just said.”

This makes him stop talking at all and he proceeds to show you his beautiful smile, making you feel a bit giddy inside.

“So, I will come this Saturday and we shall make the death star cuz we can,” he sings, making you bark out a laugh at him.

Little do you know you just poured a cool bucket of water on the burning flames on anxiety inside Jeonghan’s brain and he is extremely happy about that.

--

The next Saturday comes rolls in slowly, the tedious and boring week is over, and it is time for self-care and a lot of friendship building activities or that’s what you thought.

The man was mad and when you say mad you mean it. The Lego making only lasted for like two hours before he had hidden all the pieces of the part that you were making, resulting you to search for them all over the house. Moreover, after diligently searching and finding nothing, you had given up when he had produced all those pieces from his pockets shocking you to the core.

This little stunt had made you force him to pay for the takeout and when you were both fed and watered, he had proposed a game of chess. Only problem, you never knew one could cheat in this game too. He moved the pieces wrong.

Result. You both had the pettiest fight ever wherein the man with all his might tried to convince you that the rook was indeed supposed to move diagonally.

“You don’t understand, that is how the game is played. Are you sure you ever played this before?” he had asked.

“Hani you are wrong, please the rook never in its whole life moved diagonally, it always moved straight.”

“Maybe that is what your problem is, you are so uptight, you refuse to accept the differences in our opinions!”

“Oh, now I'm uptight, you are only being this difficult cuz you are losing!”

“I wouldn’t if you let me play the rook diagonally.”

“But that is not how it is played! Why don’t you—"

All your rants stop just like that, it took you at least five business days to actually realize that Jeonghan had kissed you. But once you got over that shock, you closed your eyes and moved your lips along with his.

Jeonghan, thoroughly exasperated by your intense argument, impulsively sought to quiet you by placing a soft, lingering kiss on your plump lips. Almost immediately, regret washed over him as he feared he had acted rashly at the worst possible moment. Mentally preparing to distance himself from you for the rest of your time together, he was taken aback when you reciprocated the kiss, instantly dissolving all his worries and leaving him pleasantly surprised.

You broke the kiss to take a breath, both looking visibly flustered.

“Do you want to stay the night, or do you want to go?” you asked him while looking at him with your sparkling eyes, making Jeonghan want to glue his ass to your house, but he being the gentleman he was declined the offer.

“I would really like to take you out on a date. As I really like you, so I won’t spoil my chances with you by staying tonight.”

To say you were surprised would be an understatement. You always thought of the man to be a Casanova, so the idea of him taking you on a date while simultaneously insinuating that he won’t take any harsh steps with you was a nice little change and you were all for it.

--

It was all smooth sailing after that.

Jeonghan took you to an amusement park for the date next Sunday and oh boy did you enjoy yourself to the fullest.

Both of you had the time of your lives. Making sure to go on every ride, play every game and eating every junk you found there. By the end of it you were visibly exhausted and elated with how the day went.

The following day you were visibly happier in the office and even had a small conversation with one of your coworkers.

This went on for the following month, with each and every date you opened up to Jeonghan more and more, and so did he.

He loved spending time with you and vice versa. It was during your regular Friday movie nights, a ritual you both had established as you both liked watching movies and bonded while talking about them, when Jeonghan absolutely bored with the movie scooted a bit too close to you in hopes of gaining your attention by annoying you, a typical Jeonghan move. When you both ended up making love on the couch.

This was only the start of a lot of escapades you would have with the man.

After that one night, Jeonghan was all over you at all times. Be it at the office or be it at home he was with you or texting you all the time. Your nights were now filled with heavy make outs and intense love making sessions.

Everybody at the office knew about you both. On top of that you were more extroverted than ever. You even went out with your coworkers for an office dinner. Somehow, Jeonghan was praised for the change he brought in you, and like his ‘kind’ self, he declined all those compliments with a gracious smile.

He didn’t like to say it out loud, but he liked your changed self, more than your reserved one. Plus, he also took credit for the change, but it’s not like he would tell you that anytime soon.

--

 It was almost five months into dating Jeonghan, when he asked you to meet his friends. You knew he had a very loyal group of friends and you had never met them before. On the contrary Jeonghan had met your one and only best friend within only three months of dating. In the most best friend manner, the lady has hated his ass the whole-time side eyeing him constantly and leaving petty remarks here and there. But that night she had called you and told you something she didn’t ever say for any of your boyfriends “I can see he loves you a lot. For the first time you chose the correct guy.”

Getting your strict best friend to like Jeonghan was like clearing the first hurdle of your relation. For the first time, you were proud of your choice in men and especially your boyfriend.

“Oh, I would love to meet them, but would they like me,” you were rightfully concerned about the boys liking you. As much as you were independent, you would like to gain the approval of your boyfriend’s friends like any girlfriend.

“They are dorks through and through, they will love, don’t worry” he had said while kissing your forehead to calm you down.

“Plus, you will fit right in, they are nice people,” he later added.

--

That evening, Jeonghan had taken you to the Korean BBQ place downtown where they all were meeting. The night had started rocky but within an hour you were having fun with Mingyu and Seokmin, all worries forgotten. Jeonghan had looked at you with pride blooming in his chest with how happy you looked with his friends, enjoying yourself.

It seems that all the twelve of them had liked you a lot saying you were the perfect partner for Jeonghan, someone who could ground him at the same time let him be himself.

The BBQ party came to an end, but the boys still had a lot of energy, so they went to the karaoke next taking both you and Jeonghan with them. Although you were thoroughly exhausted, you had complied to go, seeing Jeonghan have so much fun was a sight you didn’t want to miss.

You had gone to the bathroom the first thing right after reaching the karaoke place, to wake you up and also to do your business. Seungkwan had accompanied you claiming, “all that soju and walking has made my bladder shake like never before!” it’s not a lie though, they did drink like it will be the last time they ever get to drink.

As you came out of the restroom, Seungkwan gave you a kind smile and said “I have never seen Jeonghan this happy before, not even with us. I'm sure he likes you a lot.”

Smiling at him you said, “I think I love him; I have not said that to him yet, but I really think I do.”

With a sassy ‘good for you’ from the one and only Boo, you both made your way to the room that your group had booked.

As you reached closer, you could hear all the boys talking to each other.

“I approve, she is an angel, she even consoled Soon when he cried” said one of them making you smile a bit. By this time Seungkwan had stopped with you too eavesdropping on his friends as he is as dramatic as one can be.

“She is nothing like what you described her to be you know, she is nice and kind and far from being stuck up,” someone else said.

“Nah she is not, that stuck up once you get to know her, contrary to that she is very cheery and I like her you know,” Jeonghan had replied making you feel extra giddy inside.

“Hey bro if you like her that much maybe we should call off the deal we made, I see how much you like her and if you ask me, I will say she is a keeper,” with this statement, a silence washed over the whole group. You looked at Seungkwan to understand what was happening, but the man refused to look at you still stubbornly pretending to listen to the conversation.

“I said I like her, not like her enough to let go of the five thousand you offered” you suddenly heard Jeonghan speak making you even more confused about the whole ordeal.

“I think you will regret it you let her go hyung,” Seokmin suddenly said with a very somber tone generating a lot of assertive noises from the group.

“She won’t bring me five thousand, plus I fucked her got into a relationship with her and made her the fun-loving bitch she is now. It was a tedious process, but I completed my work, so I deserve the money.”

It was hard hearing the man you loved so much make such a degrading comment. At this point you were shaking with emotions so much that even Seungkwan who refused to look at you during this whole time, had to hold you steady.

“Did you know about this,” you asked him.

The boy with his eyes downcast just nodded his head.

“I won’t even ask you why you didn’t tell me about it, I get it you are his friend makes sense.”

“Hey none of us wanted him to do anything like this, but your Jeonghan is unstoppable sometimes and about the wrong things.”

“I think I should get going, I’ve heard enough.”

“Hey y/n we like you a lot, so please stay in contact with us later, no matter what your verdict is,” the younger man pleaded with glistening eyes, making you almost accept the request out of pity.

You ignored everyone and strode into the room bustling with men, heading straight for the couch. Without hesitation, you grabbed your bag and, as you walked out, approached Jeonghan and delivered a firm slap to his face. "We're done," you declared before exiting the room without glancing at anyone else.

--

The minute you had left, Jeonghan felt his life crashing down on him. The looks of disapproval from his friends and the pure disappointment that radiated off you caught him off guard. He had thought he could get out of it with both the girl and the money, but suddenly he realized he didn’t even need the said money, he only needed you. The weight of his words came to haunt me as soon as he had spoken them.

He immediately attempted to follow you but was stopped by Seungkwan, “did you see her face, if you follow her now, she will resent you more. Not like you don’t deserve it, but you are still my friend.”

The tone of his voice showed how much he was upset with Jeonghan. So much so that the younger male could not even look at his face.

“You are my hyung, but you know what I like her more, never have I ever thought you would do something like this,” he continued, “I hope she never forgives you.”  

Hearing that Jeonghan couldn’t control himself and punched Seungkwan and a fight broke out. The boys trying their best to resolve it.

“It’s already a mess, can you both stop making it worse!” Mingyu said as Seungkwan punched Jeonghan back square on the jaw.

“Tell that shit to not meddle in my business then” comes Jeonghan’s voice.

“Maybe if you didn’t break her heart I wouldn’t, she was a fucking nice person,” Seungkwan shouted back as Mingyu dragged him out.

The night was ruined, and it was all because of Jeonghan.

--

That night you came home and cried your heart out ignoring all the calls from Jeonghan and the other boys, with whom you had exchanged numbers during the hangout. Thankfully, it was a Sunday the next day, so you didn’t have to look at the man who broke your heart, but it pained you so much to even move a muscle. It was like your heart was ripped out of your body. The pain was immeasurable.

There were at least a hundred missed calls on your phone and thirty of them from all of the boys. Your best friend come to your place that Sunday and tried her best to console a sad you, but nothing could stop you from beating yourself up for trusting a man like him. it’s true you loved him, and you regrated doing so, you didn’t blame Jeonghan for breaking your heart, you blamed yourself for being weak enough for you to let Jeonghan do so to you, for letting the man step all over you like you were a piece of trash that had no place in the normal world. The degrading things that he had said about you kept echoing in your ears, making it hard for you to think of anything else.

It was like you had forgotten all about your vow to never let anyone step over you and take away a piece of you from yourself. You were so hurt that you refused to see Jeonghan at all. So, on the next Monday you asked your HR for a weeklong leave and the kind lady obliged owing to your stellar performance at your department.

You turned off your phone that week and went to stay with you friend as the house was too lonely for you and the more you stayed there, the more you felt the memories of you and Jeonghan coming to haunt you.

--

On that Monday, Jeonghan woke up with a newfound determination. He was resolved to confront you and explain that his hurtful words from that night stemmed from his own inability to accept his feelings. He believed that once he clarified his side of the story, your compassionate nature would lead you to forgive him. He was even prepared to humble himself, willing to beg for your forgiveness if necessary. However, fate intervened when he discovered you had taken a week-long leave from the office.

The realization of consequences hit him suddenly. Yes, he understood the gravity of his actions, but he was willing to face any repercussions if it meant having you back in his arms. Anything seemed bearable compared to the thought of losing you.

By Wednesday, Jeonghan found himself standing at your doorstep, desperately knocking, hoping to speak with you. To his dismay, a neighbor informed him that you had been absent since Monday. His heart sank realizing he had missed his chance to reconcile with you.

He had made a solemn vow to himself that he would reach out to you no matter what obstacles lay in his path, willing to go to any lengths to make amends. However, he now realized the depth of his mistake. Reflecting on his actions, he understood that he should have heeded the advice of his friends earlier, but it was too late for regrets.

Jeonghan's determination to win you back consumed him. He felt a deep pang of regret for not acting sooner and for failing to appreciate the warnings from his friends. Now, facing the reality of your absence, he grappled with the weight of his impulsive behavior.

In the days that followed, Jeonghan resolved to wait patiently for your return, determined to seize any opportunity to make things right. He hoped against hope that he hadn't irreparably damaged the bond between you. Each passing day without you served as a sobering reminder of the importance of listening to his instincts and valuing the counsel of those who cared about him.

--

The next week you opened your phone to see it has blown up with Jeonghan’s messages and there were a few from Seungkwan asking you if you are okay and telling you that he had punched Jeonghan for being an asshole to you and that most of the people didn’t agree with Jeonghan’s antics but its hard to stop Jeonghan when is like that.

Taking pity of the boy you and answered him accepting his apology and telling him you were happy that he punched the guy.

His answer came immediately, saying he was happy that there is no bad blood among you two and he prefers you more than Jeonghan anyways making you laugh at his cuteness.

When you returned back to the office, the first thing you did was hand them your resignation letter. The next thing on your list was avoid Jeonghan till you leave work, at which you were pretty successful.

And just like that you were done with your time in the office and were moving onto another job before Jeonghan could even get hold of you.

--

Its has been three years since and life had never been better. You became friends with Seungkwan, Seokmin and Soonyoung immediately. You four hangout quite frequently. The three younger men like you a lot too. It’s a strong bond you have created with them. If anyone asks you would say the only good thing that came from your ex was the friends you made while with him.

On top of that you also have been in a relation with a man who treats you right and loves you to death. Its like you have at last reached the light at the end of the tunnel.

--

Jeonghan on the other hand drowned himself in work after you left, the man tried his best to forget your existence and was very thankful his work helped him do so. But whenever he was out with his friends he couldn’t stop himself from asking about you and always he got the same answer of ‘none of your fucking business’ from Seungkwan.

But it was different this time, it was the ever so kind Seokmin who answered him.

“Hyung she moved on, and you should too.” Hearing that he stood up, he didn’t know why. Would he go to your house and beg for your forgiveness again or will he call you while asking you to give him another chance?

Truth to be told, he didn’t know.

“Hyung please don’t mess this up for her. She is happy,” Seokmin spoke up again, kindly holding his hand to pull him down back onto his seat. It felt like Jeonghan’s life has come crashing down on him once again. One lone tear left his eye, too embarrassed to cry in front of his friends, he puts up a happy front while saying “of course Seok, I would do nothing to hurt her.”

All his friends looked at the man in pity, hoping that faith was kinder to him. but they couldn’t deny that he single handedly destroyed his life either. He was still their friend and he deserved to be happy to but so did you. The man sat in silence for some time till Joshua loudly declared he wanted to go to the arcade and all the others enthusiastically agreed, happy about the distraction.

That is when Jeonghan realized life has gone on and not stopped for anyone, the time he was supposed to seize his moment has passed and it wont ever come back. He now has to live his life without the presence of one of the most precious thing he ever had the privilege to possess, your love.

a/n 3: thank you all for reading !!

[banquetwriter]

can u write a smut of an insecure plus sized goth reader x johnnie please? she's a virgin and after being together for a few months she asks him could they do it, and he eats her out n fucks her n stuff 🙏🙏 make it really soft pls and thank u i love ur work btw 🖤🖤

୨୧ Batty love ୨୧

pairing: Johnnie Guilbert ♡︎ goth!fem!Reader

warnings: ୭̥⋆*｡ smut, losing virginity, getting eaten out, general shenanigans

summary: ʚ johnnie isn’t gonna let you being inexperienced stop him from devouring you ɞ

Words: 2234

An: i know this isn't the best but I'm legitimately do sick rn 😔

You haven't stopped looking at your phone for at least two days. Johnnie, your boyfriend, had just hard-launched your relationship for the first time on Instagram. And to your shock, 95% of the comments were so positive. Everyone complimented your goth appearance.

This much praise was addicting. Being plus size meant a lot of insecurities made by the pathetic losers of society. There were of course a few nice comments… those weren't the ones you kept staring at. Criticizing your looks or body.

Johnnie had warned you about this happening, and you promised him the world knowing about you two was worth it, and it was, but god did it hurt. Johnnie Was out streaming with Jake today so that left you alone for a good few hours.

It was useless trying to wait around crying over some loser online who couldn't handle the fact their celebrity crush didn't pick them. You sat up rubbing your face carefully not trying to hit your piercings at all. You scrolled around on your phone’s playlist before connecting to a speaker.

You started to shift through your closet to come up with an outfit. Maybe you and Johnnie could go out tonight? It was hard to get dressed in full goth normally, especially when you weren't feeling good about yourself.

You settled on a long black skirt with silver shiny bats that were sporadically speckled on it and paired it with an ‘i ❤️ emo boys’ t-shirt with a corset. You put your outfit on by pairing your black stockings and fishnet top for your arms.

You sat down at your desk singing along to your beloved playlist. You turned your light on your mirror searching for your hair clips. You managed to locate them by clipping your hair out of your face. Your music was briefly interrupted by a text notification.

You pick up your phone and it is from Johnnie, ‘should be done soon. Just filmed for Jake's, we're gonna do mine now. Probably just dick around Walmart or something. See you soon love 🖤’ you smiled at his text.

You responded back within seconds ‘Have fun filming (but not too much fun without me lol) 🖤🖤’

You sat your phone down, adjusting your shirt, and you started on your makeup. You put on primer, then foundation, the concealer, and to finish your base off you pack on some powder letting it sit on your face. You pulled out your phone and snapped a selfie of your half-done make-up.

You stuck your tongue off a little for the picture. You posted it on your main Instagram story with a goth song of course. Your Instagram gained quite a few followers from Johnnie’s post. It was exciting and also very scary.

You decided the powder baking on your face was about done so you brushed it off. You grabbed your contour brush and packed some onto it. You started to carve your face onto the white base using the black powder.

Now it was time for your eye makeup. It was the hardest part. You spent a good while meticulously adding your eyeliner and eyeshadow. Once you were done, sufficiently looking like a bat, you finished it off with black lipstick and some setting spray.

You put on accessories and teased your hair to high heaven. And you were all ready. You sprayed some perfume on and looked in the mirror. Fuck did you look good. You posed a little admiring yourself, you took your phone out again and decided to take a few pictures.

This time you posted them as posts and not a story so anyone could say anything. It scared you but you couldn't hide forever. You were dating Johnnie and no one could change that.

It took only a few minutes before the comments came rolling in. All of which were positive, it made your heart soar with all the compliments. You were smiling until you read one: ‘Johnnie eating good tonight’ . It was a nice comment and funny naturally.

There was just one issue. You and Johnnie haven't had sex yet, and furthermore, you have never had sex. Ever. Sure you used a few toys here and there but never has another person shared such an intimate moment with you. You had already worried yourself sick about this. Johnnie Was sexually active and therefore, inevitably he would want to have sex with you.

You were ready… you think at least. You wanted to, of course you did, have you seen your boyfriend? He was such a fucking hottie. You had plenty of dreams of ripping his clothes off and going under the covers. You were just nervous.

You did actually weigh a lot more than your boyfriend and no offense to him he wasn't exactly built to handle all you could offer. The nerves rattled through your body. But you were a full-grown woman and there wasn't anything wrong with taking your time to have sex.

If Johnnie didn't understand that (which you're sure he would) then this wasn't the relationship for you. You shook your thoughts of breaking up with Johnnie away. This wasn't a time to worry.

It was only a few more minutes before Johnnie came home. He stepped into your apartment, and he stopped when looking at you. His jaw faltered open. “Wow, how are you mine?” he asked, closing the door, his hands wrapping around your waist.

“From your strapping good looks and charm of course.” you purred, moving a strand of his hair from his face. You planted a small kiss on his now-exposed skin. “Yeah sure,” he murmured against your hair, planting a small kiss on the top of your head.

You smiled at him, your eyes holding each other. His eyes seem to almost darken looking at you. You pull him into a kiss, one he gladly returns. His hands are holding onto your corseted waist. Even through the thick fabric, you can feel him clutching your body.

Your kisses got more heated as he started to move his hands down your body. You had done this with him before. It didn't scare you much anymore. Of course it was nerve-racking, but not scary. His touch felt so nice even if it was through your clothes.

He slowly moaned into your mouth as you gently tugged his hair. “Fuck,” he muttered slowly pulling away from you. He wrapped his hands into your pulling you towards your couch. Your nerves jumped into your throat knowing what was coming.

And yes you wanted to so fucking bad, you needed your hot boyfriend inside you. He gently pushed you onto the couch, you fell back ruining your cute decorative pillows. He positions himself between your legs, his mouth hungry to devour all of you.

You wanted to enjoy him you really did but your heart was pounding out of your chest with nerves. “Johnnie-” you asked quietly against his lips. He pulled back sensing your worry. “We haven't done anything yet-” you started, unsure how to keep going you stayed silent.

“It's fine if you don't wanna, you know, tonight.” he spoke softly, “No trust me I want to. It's just that I've never done that before. I've never had sex before.” you confessed. You could see his eyes widen. You felt like you were holding his breath.

“Woah, really?” he asked, leaning towards you, a small cheeky smile plastered on his lips. “Yeah, not that I’m waiting for marriage or something but I don't know I just haven't yet,” you said shrugging. “That's ok, are you still down to or?” he asks, staring at you sheepishly.

“Of course I am, I just need you to be slow I guess,” you whispered to him. He glances at your lips for a minute, “I can do that.” he says before your lips crash onto one another.

His hand crept down to your ankle and slowly started to run his hand up your legs, he reached the end of your stocking. He hooked his fingers over the clothing and pulled them off your body repeating it for your other leg.

He looked into your eyes as he slipped his hands back under your skirt, hooking delicate fingers over your panties and slowly pulling them off your body. The feeling of his hands on your thighs was sending waves of pleasure to your core.

You've been horny before but nothing compared to the feelings you felt as your boyfriend slowly lowered to his knees. Kissing up and down your legs. “Are you doing ok?” he asks between kisses up your thighs.

“Y-yeah I'm good,” you said quietly, eyes watching Johnnie like a hawk. He smirks against your skin. He slowly pushes your skirt up your body revealing your bare legs. He placed a tender kiss on the top of your cunt.

You swore you could see stars with the amount of pleasure That coursed through you. The end of your fingers and toes felt tingly and cold. Johnnie moved up to face again, he slowly started to kiss you again. “M’gonna move my hand now. Like my fingers ok?” he said against your lips.

“Ok,” you whispered back, and you spread your legs widely for him. He slowly dipped his finger into your sopping cunt. You let out a gasp at the sensation. He slowly pumped his finger in and out of you. It felt good but it wasn't enough for you.

As if Johnnie could read your mind, he pumped out of you once again. When he entered back in he had two fingers this time. It stung for a second or two then pleasure returned to your body as he started to curve his finger into you.

“Oh fuck.” you moaned out, you can guess how people get addicted to this feeling. You felt like a little pervy teenager with raging hormones. The feeling of Johnnie hitting your G-spot repeatedly was sending you over the edge.

“Johnnie.” you mewled out, to nothing in particular. “I need more please,” you begged, having a sense of missing something. “If you insist on it my love.” he pulled out of you, his fingers dripping wet. You watched as he crouched down further.

He kissed slowly on your thighs before reaching your clit. He pressed a soft kiss right on your spot. You felt yourself clench over nothing and it drove you wild. He continued kissing down until he reached your hole. He slowly prodded his tongue into you.

Very gently at first to help you get used to the feeling. You felt the pleasure tenfold as soon as he began to rub your clit, fully pumping his tongue in and out of you. “Oh fuck hold on,” you murmured to him.

He stopped cocking his head slightly. You quickly snap off your corset, immediately releasing tension in your gut. You quickly pulled your shirt off, your bra going with it.

You were now naked minus the skirt bunched up around your waist. “M’fuck.” he whispered looking at your tits. He had what looked like a painful erection at this point. His skinny jeans looked like they were gonna burst open.

“You ready?” you asked him, gesturing to his painfully hard erection. “Fuck yeah,” he whined undoing his studded belt, he started to further undress himself. You followed suit pushing your skirt down.

Once he was completely naked, he leaned down and started to kiss you again. He wrapped his hand around his cock and pumped a few times attempting to get ready for your body. After about a minute he lined up his leaking cock to your entrance.

He slowly pushed into you. You let out a wanton gasp as he bottomed out. “Fuck.” he growled into your ear. He fumbled around trying to find your hand and brought it down to your clit. You started to rub to your pleasure.

At the same time, he started to push into you slowly at first then after a minute he began to push into you at a quicker pace. “Fuck your so tight. So glad I get this pussy all to myself,” he whined into your ear. You couldn't hold yourself anymore. The coil in your stomach was going to snap.

You felt The familiar feeling bubbling in your stomach and your limbs. “Im gonna fucking cum.” you whined out, grabbing at his torso and leaving a long scratch. Johnnie held your eye contact nodding at you.

The coil finally snapped, your walls clenching around him. “Johnnie-” you whined, your back arching. Your body shaking from your orgasm, sent him completely over the edge.

Hit ropes of cum splattered inside you as he fucked you through his own orgasm. Your breath slowly returned back to your body as you saw Johnnie cleaning your body up with a damp towel.

“Are you ok?” he asked quietly, tossing the rag into the laundry basket. He misses but he just took his girlfriend's virginity so he isn't particularly worried about where it landed. “Yeah I'm fucking great right now actually,” you murmured.

He giggles pulling his clothes back on. You did the same, pulling out your phone to see your makeup completely fucked. Your eyeliner and mascara dripped down, the sweat sucking your makeup into your skin, your lipstick beyond fucked.

You pulled out your phone and snapped one last photo for your Instagram

[whatsnewalycat]

Designated Person | 9

Pairing: Francisco “Catfish” Morales x F!Reader

Chapter 9: Where The Wild Things Are

Rating: Explicit (18+ only)

Word Count: 8.6k+

Tags / Warnings: alternating pov, infidelity, past romantic & sexual relationship, angst, food mention, jealousy, alcohol & alcoholism, lying, conflict avoidance, crying, internal conflict, birthday party, a low-key dudes rule moment (bros! bros! bros!), tried my hardest hardest with Spanish but I am a white girl I’m sorry if its wrong pls let me know, a lot of dialogue like so much dialogue fuck, children, toxic relationships just bad all around

Notes: WELL HI, long time no see! I know it’s been over 6 months since I’ve updated. I went on a warpath with another series (Psychomanteum—it’s finished if you wanna check it out). But I’m back to force these two dummies to walk through hellfire 💘

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———————————————————————————

Nothing seems right. 

For what has to be the hundredth time, you sift through the sparse collection of t-shirts and dresses hanging in your closet. Each time you push a hanger aside to consider a potential outfit, your brain falls into the same pattern. 

First, you wonder if Frankie would like it. Granted, if you showed up wearing a cardboard box he’d still want to fuck you. 

You want him to like it more than that, though. 

You want him to see you and get all weak in the knees. You want him to look at you in that way he does sometimes. That soft, magnetic look that tugs at every part of you. The one that argues against logic and speaks to intuition instead. That can't-eat, can't-sleep, reach-for-the-stars, over-the-fence, World Series kind of look. 

After considering this entirely reasonable and attainable goal, you picture yourself wearing the clothes through Angie’s eyes. 

You dissect each potential outfit as she would. This dress too low cut, that one too frumpy, the other too short. A critical chorus of slut slut slut plays in the back of your head, accented by the memory of her manicured hands wrapped around your throat, the growl she let out when she squeezed around your windpipe. 

“You little slut, I will fucking kill you.”

Throughout this whirlwind of turmoil, snippets from this morning rise to the surface and drown out everything else. 

Frankie’s lips on yours, hungry and certain. His strong hands on your body, digging into your skin. The way he talked to you, voice low and strained—Whose pussy is this?

Every time these words repeat, your heart hammers in your chest. Tingles trickle out from between your legs and work up your spine.

The time before this, right after he moved in, when you fucked on the couch… you felt dirty afterwards. It sent you into a spiral of self-guilt that gnawed away at you for days. It reminded you of how sex was towards the end last time. Like you could have been anyone. Like he needed something to make him feel alive, and you were just the most ready and willing participant. 

But it felt different this time. 

Intimate in a way it hasn’t been in so long. It felt like an act of something bigger and stronger, like he needed you specifically. Not the rush of endorphins. Not just the heat of another person. Not a substitute for the love his wife wouldn’t give him. It felt like he needed you and nothing else would sate him. 

“I won’t do that to you again, mariposa, I promise. I’ll fix it, I promise I’ll fix it, ok?” 

Right about here is when indecision ties your brain off in a knot that seizes the production of valuable output. 

Then you return to yourself, staring into the closet like it’s fucking Narnia, and slide the hanger aside to do it all over again. 

—

Frankie collapses into a patio chair with a groan, running a hand through his sweat-soaked hair before replacing his cap, then tilts his head up towards the blazing sun and closes his eyes. 

When he trekked through the Andes with his team, there were nights where he felt the cold so deep in his bones, he wondered if he would ever be able to get warm again. 

Right now is the opposite of that. 

Right now he would give up fistfuls of cash to feel that bone-deep freeze. 

He casts a longing glance at the cooler and fantasizes about drinking a cold beer. That psssch-ahsound it would make when he opened the tab. He imagines the condensation cooling his heated skin and the alcohol calming his fried nerves. 

Fuck, that sounds perfect. 

Through the open window to the dining room, he can hear Angie and her sister Marta gossiping to each other, talking about how so-and-so is dating what’s his face again and blah blah blah. His ears perk up when Marta segues into their personal life. 

“Speaking of people getting back together… How are things with you and Frankie?” 

Angie doesn’t say anything, but must make a face at her sister because she follows the question up by giggling, “What, can I not ask?” 

“Ay, Marta. No seas metiche.” 

A beat of silence passes. Marta must non-verbally pry, because Angie speaks again, quieter this time. 

“We’ll see.” Then quickly, almost defensively, she adds, “He’s getting his act together, you know. He quit drinking, and he’s doing this parole program. It seems like… it seems like he’s trying.” 

“Mmm. Is he still living with that girl? Su amante?”

Frankie knows Angie well enough to know she rolls her eyes in response. 

Marta tsks, but any further conversation is cut off by a sudden commotion of squealing and bickering.

He looks down at his watch, reading 1240, and guesses that Angie’s friend Carmen arrived with her five children. 

His eyes clamp shut and he fantasizes about drinking a beer. Maybe three. Hell, make it ten. Ten would do just fine. Ten would anesthetize him just enough to let him clear his head and make this whole ordeal manageable. 

“Just get through today,” he tells himself, “Just one more goddamn day, then you can be done with this fucking charade.” 

The backdoor opens, releasing a burst of chaotic noise. Angie and Carmen step out, and he stands at attention. 

“Oh wow, look at all this,” Carmen tells Angie, “Damn girl, you really went all out, didn’t you?” 

“We don’t really know what the situation will be next year, with Frankie and everything,” Angie’s eyes flick to him, and she shrugs, “So I figured, make it memorable. For all of us.” 

“Sure,” Carmen nods, concern creasing her brow, then she acknowledges Frankie with a quick head-to-toe scan, “Francisco, how’re you doing?” 

“Better than I deserve,” he smirks, and gestures to the gift bag hanging off her wrist, “Let me take that for you. Want anything to drink?”

She hands off the present and glances at Angie, then back to Frankie, “Can I get a beer?” 

“Sure,” he nods to Angie, “How about you, amor?”

“I’ll take a beer, too.” 

“Two beers coming up,” Frankie calls behind him while descending the stairs. 

As he walks to the 10’ x 20’ white canopy tent, he tries to eavesdrop, but the two women talk to each other in hushed tones. He has no doubt it’s about him, though, because he hears Carmen exclaim, “Oh shit, really?” then, quieter but still distinguishable, “Good for you, mamá.” 

After dropping the gift bag on the designated table, Frankie goes to the cooler to grab two cans of beer and a bottle of water, then returns to the deck, where Angie and Carmen both lean against the railing. They both murmur a thanks when he hands them their drinks. 

He rubs between her shoulder blades, “Need anything else?”

“A fucking Xanax,” she jokes while cracking her beer open. He watches foam bubble up from the mouth of the can and his pulse surges green with envy. She takes a long sip, then sighs, “Mmm let’s see. Food is done, Mamá and Marta are bringing everything out. Your mom should be here with the cake any minute. You got everything set up in the tent?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Alright, well,” she takes another swig and shrugs, “Wanna get the slip ‘n’ slide going? We can get the kiddos changed into their suits.” 

“You got it.”

He starts away, but she grabs his shirt to stop him.

When he turns back to her, eyebrows raised in question, her golden brown eyes meet his, then drop to his lips, “Thank you.”

His hand finds her waist and he nods, “Not a problem.”

She kisses him, and he kisses her back, thinking of you—always fucking thinking of you— as he tells himself: One more day.

—

Leah picks up on the second ring. 

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Tell me I shouldn’t go to this party.” 

She releases a big sigh that makes you grimace, then says, “Tell me you’re not actually thinking of going.” 

You glance up at the Morales residence through your windshield, sinking down into your seat when you spot Benny, Will, and Dani making their way up the driveway. 

“I’m outside in my car.” 

Leah is quiet for a moment before she asks, “Do you want to go?” 

“Yes and no,” you watch the Millers open the door and go inside the house, “I want to see Sarah, and I wanna be there for Frankie, just because… I don’t know, everything, but…” 

“But Angie?”

You nod, casting your eyes down to your hands to pick at the frayed cuticles, “I’m afraid she’s going to say something or do something to retaliate against me.” 

“You did have an affair with her husband—”

“I’m well aware,” you snip. 

The silence that follows wrings guilt from your stomach. A burning sensation works up your throat behind your eyes, so you pinch them shut and hang your head. 

“Fuck, sorry. You’re right. She has every right to despise me. I deserve it. I shouldn’t go, it’s stupid.” 

Your words come out all pathetic and warbled by tears, but you continue anyway. 

“I feel so torn. I care about them a lot and I wanna be there. I want it to be better so that… fuck. I don’t know. Nevermind.” 

“Why do you want it to be better?” 

“It’s stupid.” 

“No, I want you to tell me.” 

You take a deep, shaky breath, tilting your head up towards the drooping ceiling of your car. The answer pulses through your body and tingles on the tip of your tongue. If you speak it you might shatter to dust. 

Instead, you offer up a consolation prize to distract her. 

“I did something I shouldn’t have,” you whisper, then swing your head down to stare at your steering wheel, “I… had sex with him.” 

Leah snorts, “I fucking knew it.” 

“Shut up, you did not,” you scoff, “It just happened this morning.” 

“Rach owes me $10.” 

“You bet that—God, you are the worst.” 

You hang up on her, then stare at your phone for a few seconds before sending a text to Frankie. 

< ME:  < Are you sure I should come? I feel nervous

A few unresponsive seconds go by before you flip the visor down to inspect your reflection in the mirror. Not terrible. Some black smudges around your eyes. Could use some lipstick. 

You remedy these problems while trying not to think too hard about what you’re about to do, lying to yourself in hopes that you can somehow warp the truth. 

This will be fine.

—

By the time Frankie gets the hose hooked up to the slip ‘n’ slide, his mother- and sister-in-law are setting the last few food items out on the long folding table under the tent. 

Two of Carmen’s sons dash across the deck in their swimsuits. As he passes them on the stairs, he ruffles the older one’s scraggly dark brown hair, calling after them, “Soda and water in the cooler if you boys are thirsty.” 

They holler an acknowledgment as Frankie makes his way inside. 

The relief of stepping into cool, conditioned air quickly dissipates as the commotion hits him. 

At least a dozen conversations meld together in this wall of indistinguishable sound. He can’t quite focus on any of the vaguely familiar faces or isolate one single voice from the warble of people talking. 

A heavy, frantic pounding starts in his chest. His hands start to tingle. Noises disappear completely for a second, replaced by a high-pitched ringing in his ears. 

Jesus fucking Christ, I’m losing it.

He pulls a chair out from the dining room table and sits down, praying nobody notices him clench his eyes closed to inhale a deep, wide breath. 

Then another. 

Then another. 

Everything starts to come back into focus, and he tunes into someone asking, “Fish, you ok?” 

He startles when a broad palm settles between his shoulder blades. Looking towards the source, he finds Will’s dusty blue eyes studying him with concern. 

“Shit,” Frankie mutters, running a hand over his face before he clearing his throat and standing, “Sorry, yeah. Think I got too much heat or something.” He gives his friend a quick, one-armed hug, “Good to see you, man.” 

When Will parts ways with Frankie, he gives him a look that says he doesn’t buy it for a second, but doesn’t push the subject. 

His wife, Dani, approaches with a cautious smile, “Frankie, good to see you.” 

“Good to see you, too” Frankie gives her a hug, “Thanks for coming.” They separate and he asks Will, “Benny here yet?” 

“Yeah,” he smirks, jerking his head towards the living room, “Shooting the shit with your mom.” 

“Figures,” Frankie chuckles and shakes his head, “I gotta go make my rounds, but, uhh,” he gestures from the gift box in the crook of Will’s arm to the back door, “There’s a gift table outside. Food and drinks and all that, help yourselves.” 

“Catch up later, yeah?” Will nods. 

Frankie mirrors the action as a few waist-high kids race past, budging in front of them when Will opens the door. 

He notices a cluster of aimless partygoers lingering between the dining and living room, and starts directing the halted human traffic out to the backyard. It prods them into action, thinning out the crowded common area as he makes his way to the couch, where he finds his mom sitting with Sarah in her lap and Benny at her side. Benny says something to Sarah that makes her and her grandmother giggle. 

“Is this guy bothering you?” Frankie asks, unable to stop the smile from spreading across his face. 

“Francisco!”  

She passes Sarah to Benny and struggles to get to her feet. 

“Christ, mamá, let me help you” he mutters while taking her well-worn hands in his to pull her upright. 

She’s always been a woman of small stature, barely measuring up to his shoulders once the growth spurts petered out and left him as tall as he’d always be. But each time he sees her, she seems to have shrunk a little bit more. 

As soon as she steadies herself, she kisses his cheek, then pulls him down into a surprisingly tight embrace, telling him, “I missed you so much, mijo.”

“Missed you too, Ma.”

She pulls back from the hug, but holds onto his arms to look him over, “How have you been?” 

“Fine,” he nods, looking away when her keen dark eyes narrow, “What about you, hmm? How was the drive?”

“Bien bien,” she waves off his questions and takes a step back to smile at the birthday girl, “She’s getting so big, Pancho. Such a pretty dress.” 

Sarah grabs at the puffy hem of her skirt and giggles at the attention. 

Frankie snorts in admiration at his daughter, then asks her, “You wanna go see your party, princesa?” 

“Yes!” 

He looks at Benny, “I gotta see if Ang needs me to do anything, do you wanna…?”

“Escort these lovey ladies?” Benny winks at Julieta, “Shit, I’d love to.”

“Jesus Christ,” Frankie mutters, then tells Sarah, “Go with Uncle Benny, I’ll be there in a minute, ok?” 

She jumps off Benny’s lap and runs to the back door, leveraging her weight against the knob. It swings open and she escapes, sending Benny chasing after her, laughing, “Hey, wait up!”

Julieta starts after them just as Sarah’s bedroom door opens, and two little girls come charging towards the back door. Carmen and Angie trail behind, the former carrying a baby tucked into her side, the latter looking around with a puzzled expression pasted to her face. 

“Everyone outside?” Angie asks her husband, slowing to a stop a few feet away from him while Carmen continues outside. 

“Yeah. I, uhh, got the slip ‘n’ slide set up, all the food is out—anything else you need me to do?” 

“Is your girl here?” 

She smirks and tilts her head at him, like she’s joking or teasing, but the humor doesn’t reach her eyes. 

His skittish heart skips in his chest. 

Sensing a trap, Frankie searches her face and shakes his head like he doesn’t understand. 

Angie raises an eyebrow at him, “Don’t act like you don’t know who I’m talking about.”

So fucking sick of this. 

“Whatever,” he blinks, “No. I haven’t seen her yet. Anything else?”

The forced amusement immediately drops from her face and she stomps outside, slamming the door closed behind her. 

He takes a deep breath, pulling his hat up to run a hand through his hair, then glances at his watch. 

1308

He shakes some of the nervous energy from his fingertips and starts to pace the living room. 

What if you decided not to come?

Honestly, it would make today much easier. He could just go out there and play his role. Put on his mask and blame his disposition on the ongoing legal battle. His mother, wife, and friends, they’d be none the wiser. 

Something inside him lurches at the thought. 

Suddenly and very clearly, he understands that if you don’t show, nothing will change. He will drive this ship into the ground. 

As if on cue, the doorbell rings. 

He jogs down the steps, swings the door open, and there you are, wearing a pretty floral sundress and a nervous smile. 

“Hey,” he backs up to allow you entry.  

“Hi,” your smile grows wider, and you step past him as you enter the house, “Long time no see.”At the foot of the stairs, you turn to face him, “Where’s the party?” 

“Backyard.”

“Oh.” 

When you glance down at his mouth, one hundred butterflies start chittering away at his stomach. He licks his lips and notices himself gravitating towards you. It doesn’t help that you’re doing it, too. The subtle way your body bows in his direction, inching so close he can smell the bright burst of your perfume and the damp musk of your sweat. 

“Is everyone out there?”

“Pretty sure,” his eyes flick to the vacant upstairs, then back to you, “Why?” 

Just an inch away, you clamp a grin closed and shrug, “No reason.”

“Uh huh,” he raises an eyebrow, daring to rest his hand on your waist. The contact floods his body with a hot, thudding pulse he can taste. 

Searching his face, you slide your palm over his heart. Beneath your touch, the muscle pounds at its seams. 

Against his better judgment, he leans in to capture your lips in his. Warmth spreads out from his chest through his limbs. You hook a hand behind his neck and pull him closer, your body curving flush against his. 

Only hours have gone by since he last saw you, but it feels like months. It’s like that with you. Timeless when you’re together and an eternity when you’re apart. 

Pulling back, you look at the floor and shake your head, “Sorry.”

“For what?” 

“We shouldn’t, umm,” you swallow hard, shaking your head again as you glance upstairs, “Here, now, you know…” 

He glances at the back door, “You’re right. We should get to the party.“

“Yeah,” you take a big step back and clear your lungs with a deep breath, then hold up your gift bag, “Where should I put this?” 

“Right this way—” 

“Wait, look at me,” you chuckle, tugging at his hand. 

He faces you, asking, “What?” 

You cup his cheek and lick the pad of your thumb, bringing it to his bottom lip, “Lipstick.”

Your brow furrows in concentration, tongue poking out the corner of your mouth as you scrub off the evidence. 

It’s kind of adorable, the way in which you do this. Doting, almost. Reminds him of the times Mamá would catch him with a dirty face in public and try to make him more presentable. 

Briefly, he pictures you as the matriarch of a rowdy crew of children. Driving a minivan to school drop-offs and extracurricular activities and family outings. It suits you. 

He can’t stop his lips from curving into a smile. 

“What?” you grin, eyes flicking to his. 

“Nothing,” he murmurs as you tilt his face around and inspect him. “Better?” 

“Better,” you nod, “How about me?” 

He pinches your chin and looks you over, correcting a smudge before telling you, “All clear. You ready?” 

You give a half-hearted shrug, looking around at the ground, then ask, “Your wife isn’t gonna like… yell at me in front of everyone or pelt me with produce, right? This isn’t an elaborate revenge prank?” 

“Is that what all the tomatoes are for? Shit,” he teases, earning a chuckle and an eye roll from you. “No, but really. She agreed to be nice.” 

“Ok,” you nod, “So I’m like allowed to talk to you and everything without worrying she’ll try to murder me?” 

Frankie snorts, “She wouldn’t murder you—” 

“She has literally told me ‘I will fucking kill you.’”

“That was—” he shakes his head, then brings his hands to your shoulders and stares into your eyes, “It’s gonna be fine, mariposa. We’re gonna go bullshit with people and eat some food, and then we’re gonna home and watch a stupid fucking movie. Ok?” 

You laugh, dropping your gaze for a moment before returning with a bashful smile, “Ok.” 

—

As you make your way down the food table, piling tamales and Spanish rice and fresh fruit on a flimsy paper plate, you feel eyes on the back of your head. Whether it’s just one set or ten, you don’t care to know, but the feeling sends a shiver up your spine. 

When you reach the end of the line, you take a deep breath before turning to find a place to sit. 

Like every other party, the crowd is mostly separated into cliques. 

Parents from around the neighborhood stick together at a few long tables, bribing their children to eat and drink water before returning to the slip-n-slide. At another table sits Angie’s family, including the queen herself, whose pointed stare you gloss over, ignoring her and Frankie at her side. You find some familiar faces at a table near the edge of the big party tent: Benny, Will, and Dani. With them is a small, elderly woman who must be Frankie’s mom or an aunt or something, due to the striking resemblance. 

The whole thing reminds you of choosing a place to sit in your high school cafeteria. Much like you did in those days, you gravitate towards an empty table nearby, but halt when some calls your name. 

 Frowning, you look around to find Benny waving at you. 

“Over here,” he pulls out the chair beside him. 

You approach with a smile, the tension held in your shoulders dissolving just a little as you take the open seat and greet everyone. 

“Thanks. I didn’t know if, umm… it was ok,” you chuckle nervously and drop your eyes to your plate, shaking your head. 

“Oh, come on now, you’re always welcome with us,” Benny grins, leaning back in his chair to reveal the tiny graying woman on the other side of him, “Have you met Frankie’s mom, Julieta?” 

“I have not,” you reach across Benny to shake her hand, “Good to meet you, I’m—” 

She waves you off and pushes her chair out behind her. You half-expect her to furiously walk away at your presence, but instead she wobbles over to you and holds her arms open. 

“I know who you are. Come here, mija.” 

You stand to accept the invitation, stammering out, “Oh—ok—” 

Emotion wells up in your chest when her bony arms squeeze tight around you and she tells you, “Thank you for taking care of my boy.” 

Not sure what to say, you just hug her back for a few long seconds. The embrace says it all. It feels maternal and earnest and brings a few tears to your eyes. When she pulls away and smiles at you, you notice she’s a little misty-eyed, too, and you smile back at her. She gives your cheek a few pats before you both return to your seats. 

“How’ve you been?” Dani asks. 

You contemplate the question long enough for Benny to interject. 

“Well, she’s keeping Fish out of trouble so I’m sure she’s having a hell of a time.” 

You shrug, “It’s nothing compared to some of the toddlers I’ve had to deal with.” 

Your audience chuckles, then awaits a follow up. 

“No, I, umm… I’m doing ok. Going through a breakup, so that’s tough, but… mostly I’m good.”  

Why did I say that?

“A breakup?” Benny leans back and drapes an arm over the back of your chair, “What happened?” 

“Oh, we don’t have to—” you laugh at your plate, stabbing a chunk of watermelon. 

“Come on, give us the dirt,” Benny prods. 

You shove the watermelon in your mouth and wrinkle your nose at him, shaking your head. 

“Let the girl have some privacy,” Dani scolds, “If she doesn’t wanna talk about it, she doesn’t wanna talk about it.” 

“If she didn’t wanna talk about it she wouldn’t’ve mentioned it,” he counters. 

“It’s fine, it wasn’t even a big deal. We were only dating for a few weeks and it wasn’t a good match,” you explain, glancing around the table, “I don’t know why I said it, sorry, I’m just, umm… nervous.” 

You notice Will studying you and hold his meticulous gaze for a moment before dropping your eyes to your plate. He speaks up then, drawing the fire away from you. 

“Hey, that’s alright. Not like Benny has room to criticize,” he gives his brother a lopsided grin, “Remember that girl that tried to stab you?” 

“Not this again,” Benny groans.

“Ok well now you have to tell me,” you say, flashing a grateful smile to Will before nudging Benny, “Come on, give me the dirt.” 

“Well, if you’re gonna twist my arm about it.” He visibly shifts into storytelling mode, sitting up straighter as a glint of mischief sparks in his eyes, “First of all, I had no business dating her to begin with. She had a PT Cruiser with whiskey plates. If that’s not a red flag, I don’t know what is.”

—

Trying to be a halfway decent host, Frankie makes his way around the party checking in with people, introducing himself to all the unfamiliar faces and making small talk, recycling the same lines. 

Drinks are in the cooler if you’re thirsty. Thanks for coming. I’m doing great, how about you? 

Meanwhile, Ang seems to have taken on his former role as the champion beer drinker of the party. Every time he glances at her she’s either guzzling it down or popping open a new aluminum can. 

When she and Carmen start directing slip ‘n’ slide traffic and seem sufficiently distracted, he walks up to the table where some of his favorite people are seated and takes the open chair next to Will. 

“Look who it is,” Will smirks at him, “We were just talking about you.” 

“Christ, do I wanna know?” he leans forward to rest his elbows on the table. 

“Probably not, I was talking mad shit about you,” you tease, looking at him with a grin that makes his heart swell. 

“Figures you would be,” he shoots back. 

You chuckle and shake your head, “No, actually I was just telling them about how I’m teaching you to cook.” 

“Oh yeah,” he looks around the table, “Did you tell them about the stir-fry?” 

“Ok, you tried with the stir-fry and it was almost edible—” 

“Almost edible?” Benny laughs 

“Somehow the rice was both undercooked and burnt, and the veggies were mush,” you share, sitting up taller when you meet his eyes, “But it could’ve been worse. You’re learning!” 

“I’m just impressed you could get him in the kitchen in the first place,” Benny says, then turns his attention to Julieta, “Mamá, you didn’t make him cook anything growing up?” 

She tsks and waves him off, then explains, “His father wouldn’t let me. He was very traditional, you know, said it was women’s work.“ 

“It’s ok, Ma,” Frankie assures her. 

“I am glad you’re learning now.” A smile stretches across her face, “You must be grateful to have such a good teacher.” 

“I am, really,” he nods and glances at you before admitting, “I’d be a fucking mess without her.” 

Everyone at the table seems to sit with this information in silence for a moment before Will clears his throat and asks, “Are you still working on that car?” 

Frankie leans back in his chair and crosses his arms, “Here and there. Lately it’s just been collecting dust.” 

“Mind if I check it out?” Will inquires, “It’s been, what, a year and a half since I’ve seen it?” 

“Sure,” he frowns, looking over at you and your creased brow as if seeking permission, at which point you give a shrug, then he squints up across the yard and spots Angie talking to her mom and dad. “Let me just tell Ang so she doesn’t lose her shit if she can’t find me.” 

The three men stand from the table. Frankie gives you one more glance before starting off towards his wife. With each step he takes across the grass, he wishes more and more that he could kiss you again. Give you reassurance that you’re doing great in this precarious situation. 

Angie’s father glares at him as he approaches, which isn’t abnormal. Angie follows his line of sight, wobbling a bit as she lays eyes on him. Surprisingly, she smiles, “Hey!” 

“Hey—” 

She throws her arms around his neck and kisses him, the action so unexpected he stumbles back a step. Her lips taste of beer and poor judgment. When he pulls away, he plasters on a fake grin and says, “The guys wanna look at the car, is it ok if I slip away for a few?” 

“You boys and your toys,” she rolls her eyes, “Fine, just be back for presents in a couple minutes, yeah?” 

“Alright,” he searches over her shoulder, “How’s Sarah doing?” 

“Good, good,” she nods, “She’s playing with Carm’s kids in the sandbox.” 

“Make sure she gets some water, I don’t think she drank any with—” 

“She’s fine, Francisco. I’ve got it,” she insists, patting his chest. 

He studies her for a moment, then says, “Ok, I’ll be back in a minute. We’ll be in the garage if you need me.” 

“Give me a kiss,” Angie demands, her long nails scraping at the nape of his neck. He leans in and presses his lips to hers, feeling nothing but irritation and disgust. 

—

When Frankie and the Miller brothers disappear into the house, so does your social armor, leaving you exposed. 

For a while you make scattered small talk with Julieta and Dani, discussing Sarah and the party and the weather. You watch Sarah play with her friends from a distance, not wanting to disrupt their sand castle building by approaching. Every once in a while, your eyes cheat to Angie. 

A vile, familiar sensation sits heavy in your stomach. 

He warned you that it might be difficult seeing them together, but you forgot how bad it hurts to witness. 

The way she kissed him doesn’t help. Hanging off him, looking at him with bedroom eyes.

It’s not the same this time. He’s different now. 

The foul thing in your belly goes dead weight, making you lurch. 

What if he’s not? 

Before you can spiral too much, you hear, “Chacha!” and realize Sarah is running towards you

“Hi, pumpkin!” you smile and outstretch your arms to catch her as she slams into you. 

“I’m not a pumpkin, I’m just a girl,” she giggles. 

“Are you having fun at your party?” 

She grunts out an “mhmm” while you pull her up onto your lap. Her face is flushed, skin all heated and damp with sweat. 

“You look like you’re hot, do you want some water?” 

“Um. Ok!” she smiles. 

“Ok let me get you—” 

“I got it,” Dani stands and starts towards the cooler. 

You murmur a thanks and return your attention to Sarah, “Thank you for letting me come to your party. I’m having so much fun.” 

She giggles in response, leaning into you. 

“How are you liking daycare? Do you get to play with your friends?” 

She nods. 

Dani returns with a cold water bottle, twisting the cap open before handing it to you. 

“Here you go, sweetie,” you bring the bottle to her lips and slowly tip it back as she takes big gulps of water. Periodically, you pull it away and let her catch her breath, then start again until she pushes it away. 

“Better?” 

“Much better,” she nods. 

“Maybe she should go inside and cool down for a minute?” Dani suggests. 

Julieta leans over to feel her forehead, “Too much sun, hija.” 

“Do you wanna go inside for a minute?” You ask, tucking her hair behind her ears. 

“Chacha will you go with me?” 

“You want me to—oh, um… should we ask your mom…?” You frown at Dani, who grimaces, then Julieta. 

“Just take her,” Julieta insists, “I’ll tell Angelica if she comes looking.” 

“Ok. Ok sure. Let’s go, sweetie.” 

You rise from the chair, sliding Sarah to your hip, then carry her up the stairs into the house. Once inside, you sit on the couch with her for a few seconds before she wriggles away and scampers off down the hallway. 

“Chacha come see my room!” 

“Oh my fucking god,” you whisper under your breath, glancing nervously up at the back door before following her, “Ok, but just for a minute, then we should go back out to the party.” 

—

“Are you seriously calling him?” Frankie blinks, leaning back against the workbench. 

Will shoots him a look while raising the phone to his ear. 

“Unbelievable. It’s like six o’clock in the morning there, you’re gonna wake—” 

“Hey Pope, I’m gonna put you on speaker.” Will presses a button and sets the phone down next to Frankie, “Now I want Fish to tell you what he just told me and Benny.” 

Gnashing his jaw back and forth, he stares at Will, then Benny. They both watch him expectantly while Santi speaks up, his voice groggy from sleep. 

“Alright, let’s hear it.” 

Frankie clears his throat and rubs his mouth before saying, “I’m gonna ask Ang for a divorce.” 

“Oh shit, ok.”

Will prods Frankie further, “Tell him the other part.” 

“Will you just—Fuck, ok. I’m… seeing someone.” 

On the other line, Santi chuckles a little, “Uh-huh.“ 

“Any guesses on who that might be?” Benny asks. 

“Oh, I have one—” 

“Wait wait wait, let me give you a hint,” Benny grins while scrolling through his phone, pushing off the hood of the car to grandstand, “On June 10–only seven weeks ago, mind you—Fish said about her, and I quote: It’s not like that, we’re only friends. To which you said—” 

“—I said bull-fucking-shit!” Santi finishes, then howls, “That is fucking delicious, thank you.” 

Frankie crosses his arms and shakes his head at Will, “See, this is why I didn’t wanna tell him.” 

“How long?” Santi asks. 

“How long what?”

“How long have you been sleeping with her?”

“It’s… complicated, ok?”

Benny giggles and repeats, “Oh, it’s complicated.”

Santi questions further, “Sure, well, let me ask you this: How long have you been in love with her?” 

“Why does it matter?”

“You do, though, right? You love her?” 

Frankie crosses his arms and glares at the phone, “Yeah.” 

“When did that happen?” 

Heat flares through his veins. He wrings his neck and mutters, “That’s a stupid question.”

“Why’s it stupid?”

“Cuz, Pope, that’s like… that’s like asking how long ago mankind came to exist. Or asking what point a chrysalis becomes a butterfly. I don’t fucking know, man, it just does. I just know that I do, I love her, and I have for… a while.” 

The two men before him are silent, along with the voice on the phone. Frankie, on the other hand, finds momentum in his confession. He continues. 

“And Ang… Jesus Christ, I don’t know how long it’s been since I’ve felt like this with her. And the longer I think about it, the more I convince myself I never did. Not this way, like I can’t live without her, you know?” He taps his fingers against his lips, then shrugs, “Maybe I could have at one point, if I tried. But even then… I don’t like who I am when I’m with her. It doesn’t feel right. It’s like I’m wearing someone else’s skin and it doesn’t fit me.” 

He glances up at Benny, then Will. Their faces are somber, but understanding. Benny approaches, leaning on the workbench beside him to rope an arm around his shoulders and give him a supportive squeeze. 

“When are you gonna tell her?” Will asks. 

“Soon. Not today, but this week probably.“

Benny withdraws his touch and crosses his arms in front of his chest, “She’ll go right for the jugular. You know that, right?” 

“I know.” Frankie takes off his cap to run a hand through his hair, then puts it back, “She’s gonna try to take Sarah. Fuck, I’m gonna need another goddamn lawyer, aren’t I?” 

“Can you afford that right now?” Will furrows his brow, studying him, “Be honest.” 

“Probably. Well, maybe. I haven’t thought that far ahead yet.” 

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but is now the right time? You’re on parole and looking to add felony charges to your wrap sheet. Not to mention the infidelity. On paper, your custody case is shit.” 

Frankie shakes his head, “If I have to keep living like this… all this lying and pretending… I don’t know, man. I can’t do it anymore. Something inside me is about to break. I can feel it.” 

The Millers exchange a look. 

“I don’t think I’m speaking out of line by saying we all just want what’s best for you, Fish,” the voice over the phone tells him, “We want you to be happy. If you need to get out, get out.” 

Frankie glances up at Will, who nods in confirmation. 

“Thanks. It-it means a lot to me,” he shifts his weight to one leg, looking down at his wristwatch, “We better get back to the party. Talk soon, yeah?” 

“Yeah,” Santi says, “Hang in there, buddy.”

After hanging up the phone, Will gives Frankie a pat on the shoulder, “We’ve got your back.”

As they file out of the garage into the entryway, Angie walks out from the bathroom. When she notices them climbing the steps, she calls, “Hi boys.”

To his credit, Benny puts on a convincing smile and greets her with a high five, “What’s up, Angie?” 

She steps aside to let him pass, then fixes her glassy eyes on Will, “How’s the carcocha looking?” 

“Better than the last time we saw it,” Will shrugs, glancing over his shoulder at Frankie, “Just needs a little TLC.” 

“Needs to go to the scrapyard if you ask me,” she snorts and tilts her head at her husband as he reaches the top of the stairs, “Hey handsome.” 

He gives her a half-hearted smirk, then frowns, “Where’s Sarah?” 

“She’s fine, still playing. Francisco,” she tugs on his shirt, so he comes to a stop. 

Jesus Christ, her breath smells like a brewery.

His eyes flick to the Millers stalled at the back door. After waving at them to clear out, he raises his eyebrows at Angie, “What?” 

“I need your help with something.” 

“Sure, what?” 

Instead of answering him outright, she takes his hand and leads him down the hallway. His stomach twists with understanding when she pulls him through the doorway towards the bed. 

“If you wanna lay down for a bit, I can take care of every—” 

She turns to face him, placing her palms on his chest and sliding them up to his shoulders, “I want you to fuck me, Francisco.” 

“Ang,” he chuckles with exasperation, shaking his head, “We have a backyard full of guests here, come on.” 

“They’re all having fun, no one will notice.” She takes his hand and guides it to her face, gently folding down all his finger but the index and pouts, “Please, Frankie.” 

He swallows a groan when she wraps her full lips around his digit and sucks. The wet hot plush of her mouth makes his eyelids flutter and weakens his resolve. 

“I don’t think—” 

She pulls his finger from her mouth like a lollipop and bats her eyelashes at him, cooing, “Don’t you wanna fuck me like you did the other night? Didn’t that feel good?” 

“Well, yeah—” 

“We can be quick.” 

As she reaches for his belt, something moves at the edge of his vision. 

“Mommy, Daddy!” 

He looks at the doorway to find Sarah in the hall, holding one penguin toy in each of her pudgy toddler fists. A big, toothy grin spreads across her face and she giggles, galloping into the room. 

Thankful for the diversion, Frankie smiles and takes a big step away from his wife, crouching down to ask Sarah, “Hey sweetheart, what’re you doing in here?” 

“Showing Chacha my penguins,” she tells him, holding up her toys, “This one is an emperor penguin, and this one is a macaroni penguin!” 

“Chacha?”

Something inside him drops to the floor. He looks up and sees you emerge from Sarah’s room. You pause briefly in the hallway, glancing at Angie before meeting his gaze. The pained look on your face rips his heart in two. 

“I, umm…” you stammer, dropping your eyes to the floor and shaking your head, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude, I was just—leaving. There’s a thing and-and I have to go.” 

With this, you flee down the hall, then the stairs, your footsteps still echoing heavy in his head while the front door slams shut. 

—

“Whiskey coke?” 

You look up from the bar top’s glossy wood finish to give Bubba a nod. 

“Ain’t seen you around here in a while,” he comments while scooping ice into a glass. 

“Yeah.” 

It surprises you a little, how hoarse your voice sounds. A self-awareness passes over you and you straighten your spine, glancing around the bar before digging a compact mirror from your purse. By the time you finish rubbing the bleeding mascara from your swollen eyes, Bubba is placing your drink in front of you. 

You exchange the mirror for your wallet, but when you fish out your card and hold it out to Bubba, he shakes his head. 

“On the house.” 

“What, do I get the sad sap discount?” 

He chuckles a little at this, then shrugs, “If that’s what you wanna call it.” 

“Thanks.”

Leaning forward onto the bar, you pull the glass closer, then stab the ice with your straw a few times. Little bubbles of carbonation fizzle up to the surface and release the gassy scent of rail whiskey. Nostalgia sours your stomach. 

“Everything alright?” 

A deep ache branches out from the weight beneath your sternum and curls around your shoulders. Every cell in your body feels heavy and burdensome. 

Staring at the glass, you shake your head. 

“I’m all ears if you wanna talk about it.” 

“It’s a long, messy story.” 

“I got time.” 

You glance up at him, studying his concerned expression, and sigh, “You know that guy who meets me here sometimes? Brown hair, usually wearing a hat? Started a fight that one time?” 

“The vet?” 

“Yeah,” you nod and swallow down the thickness in your throat, then tell him, “We’ve been off and on for years. He’s, umm… he’s married. I was their nanny when it started. I fell in love with him. He made it clear he didn’t feel the same and he wouldn’t leave his wife, but I kept seeing him because I’m an idiot.” 

“Sounds like you kept seeing him because you loved him, not because you’re an idiot,” Bubba observes. 

“Same difference,” you shrug and tilt your head at your drink, “He’s an alcoholic. After his wife caught us fucking, he went off the rails completely. Still kept seeing him even though he kept me at an arm’s length and drank himself dumb every night. The thing is… I never believed him when he said he couldn’t love me like I loved him. I felt it, and I thought…” 

Tingles work up your throat behind your eyes, and everything becomes blurry as you choke out a sob. 

“I’m sorry—” 

“It’s ok.” 

You shake your head and wipe away your tears, but they keep coming. 

“I thought if I kept loving him he would see how good it could be and come around. I thought he would admit to himself that he does love me like I love him. I wanted that with him so bad, I just couldn’t fucking let go. Then, umm…” 

You clear your throat and take a deep, shaky breath. 

“I had to give him an ultimatum. Her or me. He picked her. I cut it off and tried to move on with my life. He called me a few months ago from jail and asked me to bail him out. I got roped into being his custodian while he’s on parole, so he’s been living with me. We agreed not to get involved in, umm, that way again. 

“He’s been sober and opening up emotionally while working through this shit. It’s been really hard. But it’s also been good, you know, because we’ve had to hash out all these problems that we’ve ignored for years. I’ve been able to see the real him, and… I love him more than I ever have.” 

“Uh-huh,” Bubba raises an eyebrow at you, crossing his arms above his beer belly, “So what happened that’s got you in a fuss? He still doesn’t love you back?” 

The question pierces your heart. 

Your voice balances a tightrope as you confess, “I thought he did. I really did this time, I was so fucking certain. He promised he would fix it, that we could be together—and I fucking believed him—” 

Waves of emotion swell in your chest and flood your eyes with hot tears. You fold forward, burying your face in your hands, releasing sob after sob as you replay the last two months in your head and wonder how you could be so fucking stupid to think it was real. 

The world around you melts away until it’s just you and that dense, pulsing pain. Like it’s always been. Like it always will be. 

It doesn’t matter how hard you try to help him. It doesn’t matter that you love him more than anything else in this world. It doesn’t matter. 

Nothing matters, because he doesn’t love you and he never will. 

A hand rests on your shoulder blades and pulls you back to reality. So lost in your self-pity, you didn’t notice Bubba come around the bar to console you. You sit up and wipe your eyes, mumbling out an apology. 

“It’s fine, darlin’. Can I do anything to help?” 

Sniffling, you shake your head, “I’ll be ok.” 

“You sure?” 

You inhale a shattered breath and give him a weak smile, “Fifty-fifty.” 

He furrows his brow and studies you for a moment before nodding, then taking a step back. 

As he makes his way back to his side of the bar, you stare at your drink. A fat droplet of moisture rolls down the thick condensation lining the glass and gets swallowed up by the cardboard coaster beneath. 

You wish you could forget about him. 

You wish you could feel nothing. 

You wish you could hurt him the way he’s hurt you. 

So, you pluck out the straw, raise the cup to your lips, and start drinking. 

—

The setting sun paints the wispy clouded sky above a brilliant shade of orange. Beneath his feet, the soles of Frankie’s shoes scuff against the driveway. He glances down at his mom, with her arm hooked in his, and says, “Thanks for coming out, Mamá. I hope you had a good time.” 

“It was a very nice party, mijo.” 

She gives him this stifled polite smile like she’s holding something back. So he prods her. 

“What?” 

She waves him off, “Nada nada.” 

“Come on, Ma.” 

They come to a stop at the driver’s side door of her car and turn to face each other. She studies him a moment, then gives in with a huff, “You have been like this all afternoon. Why?” 

“Like what?”

“So stormy.” 

He deflates, “Don’t worry about it.” 

Her lips purse as she tilts her head at him. The ‘don’t make me smack you’ look. 

“It’s messy, mom. How I’m feeling,” he wrings a hand behind his neck and shrugs, “I don’t know. Everything is a mess and it’s all my fault.” 

“All your fault how? Did something happen?” 

“No—well,” he catches himself, swallows, then corrects, “Yeah. I did something bad. And I lied about it. Then I got caught in the lie, and, you know…” 

She nods slowly, waiting for more. 

“I think I might be a bad person.” 

Her expression softens when Frankie says it. She cups his cheeks and stares straight into his soul. Suddenly, he’s five years old all over again, Mamá comforting his bruised heart. 

“There is a good man inside you. I know him well because he’s my son. Let him be brave.” 

He absorbs this for a moment, then croaks, “Ok.”

“Give me a hug.” 

He hunches over to hug her, burying his face in her neck, “Quiero mucho, mamá.” 

“Yo a ti,” she squeezes him, then pulls back and asks, “Will you call me tomorrow?” 

“Sure.” 

He waits for her to get in her car and drive away before returning to the house. Inside, he finds Sarah and Benny reading a book on the couch, while the siren song of the party still roaring out back rubs at his nerves. 

Frankie pulls out his phone to confirm you, predictably and rightfully, did not respond to his messages or calls. Reconciling with you will be a fucking nightmare. Going home to face the consequences seems less appealing with each passing second. 

He starts to consider other options. 

He could stay and drink. Join the party. Doubtful that Angie or any of her people would give a shit. Hell, they would probably encourage him.

Better yet, he could stay and drink by himself in the garage. There’s enough booze laying around, nobody would notice if he drained a bottle or two in order to reach that blissful numb. 

He plops down on the couch next to Sarah and brings his attention to Benny’s reading. 

“—‘Now stop!’ Max said and sent the wild things off to bed without their supper. And Max the king of all wild things was lonely and wanted to be where someone loved him best of all. Then all around from far away across the world he smelled good things to eat so he gave up being king of where the wild things are. 

But the wild things cried, ‘Oh please don’t go—we’ll eat you up—we love you so!’ And Max said, ‘No!’ The wild things roared their terrible roars and gnashed their terrible teeth and rolled their terrible eyes and showed their terrible claws but Max stepped into his private boat and waved goodbye… and sailed back over a year and in and out of weeks and through a day… and into the night of his very own room where he found his supper waiting for him… and it was still hot.” 

Benny flips the paperback closed and looks down at Sarah, who yawns and rubs her eyes, then to her father. 

“Still want that ride home?”

Frankie considers this for a moment before nodding, “Yeah. Let me put her to bed and talk to Ang, then we can take off.”

[onlyjaeyun]

i'm gonna log off for a while because i'm really mentally drained from constantly hearing how unhappy and disappointed some of you guys were with both SB and CH'snendings and developments.

i know some of you guys come from a good place and mean no harm but imagine working on something for so long and then you yourself are already sad about how things ended but you wanna use it as a way to do better next time but people constantly tell you how you should do better next time and its always "i was so excited but it never came" and "i wished things would have gone this way" after you spent days crying out of frustration because your brain didn't corporate.

people who have never written (one shots or series doesnt matter) don't know the burden of leaving unfinished works up there. i keep telling you guys that i tried so hard to somehow give you guys an ending because if i hadn't you guys would have never received ANY ending so i tried to make the best of it.

i dont take the hate to heart anymore bc i couldnt care less and i know as a writer i should be open to criticism but i'm a little tired of my work being constantly nitpicked when i do this for fun.

i know updating daily was what burnt me out pls stop telling me that i obviously overestimated myself i fucking know.

whatever, it actually doesn't matter anymore because CH is over and i dont think i'll ever write smaus that long ever again bc the criticism is so not worth the mental effort and stress.

i do this for FUN. you know how artists doodle in their notebooks, this is what this blog is to me. i make mistakes, i over/underestimate things and myself bc this is life. it's just..not that deep for y'all to constantly camp in my inbox and make me feel bad about it when i already accepted it.

i'm gonna do some self reflection and think about it all so take care babies 🤍

[angelwhisp3rs]

⍣ ೋ star crossed

Pairing: RE4!Leon x Fem!Reader

Summary: Two lovers, destined to not be together all across history

Tags: fluff; angst, a little gory (not descriptive! but tragedies happen); there is a happy ending (i'd kms if it didnt); they just suffer a lot

Notes: imagined that as i listened to a disney songs playlist, and i couldnt hold myself back. This was a little different for me, so any feedback is welcomed (pls be kind ill cry)

Rome, 456.

As the moon reached the sky, shining upon the stars, Empress Serena gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, the future of the Roman Empire: little Leo. He grew to be strong and dashing, a dignified heir to such a impotent throne.

Unfortunately, the royal life proved to be unforgiving with so many obligations, and the certainty that no matter what he did, it would never be enough. 

As the empire went through a rough patch, so did his relationship with the townsfolk - whenever he believed he was doing something helpful, the critics were always the first ones to prove otherwise. 

In a particular evening, an old lady in one of the poorest villages stomped into the castle, and pointed directly at Leo as he sat in his throne, sending a powerful spell on his way: “Your actions ought to be punished for all of your existence, and as long as you live, your heart shall never be free! For all eternity, like the sun and moon, your heart won't be complete!”

With the heavy words, she was escorted away from the palace, as Leo's heart felt heavy. She must be just some crazed lady.

Oh, how wrong he was.

'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•'︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•'

Through his traveling and diplomatic affairs, Leo met a bright woman in Egypt. Her eyes shined like the brightest constellation in the sky, her wits were unmatched, and her body could lure even the blind. To say he fell in love was an understatement.

“On another visit?” she asked him as they met, her eyebrow arched.

“Egypt is quite successful these days. I can’t miss on opportunities” Leo answered with a knowing smirk, the back of his fingers caressing her jaw.

She looked up at him, her eyes sincere in her feelings as his touch was very welcomed “Opportunities or people?”

“I think you know the answer.” he said quietly, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

Their shared moments would be forever marked in his mind, appreciative that he could be the man he was with her, not Rome's Emperor. 

After deciding that she was the only one he ever wanted to marry, they met up in a nice flower camp, as he planned to ask for her forever on the same day. 

As they reached the designated place, Leo managed to get on one knee and pour his heart out to her. When he made the important question, as she was about to answer it, raiders invaded Egypt in a surprise attack, and before she could even say “yes”, the clan leader sliced through her heart, making her fall down and soon Leo followed, throat sliced open by another member. 

As life drained from their bodies, they looked at each other as they bled, their hands touching as they said their last goodbyes.

'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•'︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•'

France, 1789

Leonidas fought against the imbalance that happened between the poorest and royals. The people were tired of poverty, brought by the dumb decisions of the French Monarchy.

As he disseminated his knowledge and beliefs, a royal carriage passed through, with the Princess inside it. She and Leonidas locked their eyes, and a shiver ran through their bodies. 

The monarchs always had empty eyes, but hers was so alive. She gave him a gentle passing smile - even if he was criticizing her existence, making his heart beat fast.

Whenever royal gatherings happened, Leonidas and his followers were the first ones there protesting. The only one who ever dared to meet them and talk was her. It was bad - his heart throbbed whenever she spoke, her voice acting like a sweet melody to him.

“Another one of your hate campaigns, Leonidas?” she asked, smirking, fanning her painted face with a luxurious fan.

“Just fighting for my people and myself” he answered in a dignified voice, his eyes not breaking eye contact with her.

“Just fighting? If you keep following me I might as well think your objectives involve me, but not as in a revolutionary sense” she winked, hiding her face behind the pink fan.

“Don’t even waste your time thinking about false pretenses” he smirked back, pulling her fan down as he watched her pretty features, all worthy of a Princess.

It was satirical - the biggest fighter against her family was the one who managed to catch her heart. She was usually the quickest one to brush off suitors, but the rebellion leader caught her heart, and she didn't want him to let go.

When Leonidas was finally ready to act on his feelings, the fall of the Bastille happened, and soon did the fall of the monarchy. As a punishment, all were to be beheaded in a public gathering, their heads thrown around to celebrate France’s new beginning.

As she was guided to the guillotine, her eyes locked in his as the blade sliced her, a lonely tear running on her cheeks. 

Leonidas, at that moment, felt hollow and empty, wondering what he did to deserve such feeling.

'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•'︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•'

Italy, 1944

The war was at its peak, causing pain and destruction anywhere it passed by. Lionel fought bravely battle after battle, trying his hardest to stay safe at least till this he'll was over. 

The highlight among all that destruction was the newest nurse, hair always in carefully made curls, and lips adorned in the most lovely shades as she tended every soldier with care.

Whenever he laid on the infirmary in her care, she always spent the longest on him, sharing heartfelt comments and small jokes, hoping to bring a smile to his serious face. Also, she chose not to mention that his heartbeat was always fast with her - they were in a war after all, they had more serious matters to pay attention to.

“Although it makes me happy to see you, it pains my heart that it needs to involve your pain” she said softly, holding his hand with one of her hands as the other one cleaned his wound.

“I’m tough, if I could I would bruise myself completely to be under your care for days” Lionel answered with a whimper as she hit a soft spot.

“Don’t you ever think about that! I need you in one piece, so we ought to live our lives together, in happiness, after all this tragedy ends” she said in a hopeful tone, pressing a kiss to his skin.

“Do you promise me a nice house and delicious dinners?” he asked playfully, an endearing smile not leaving his face

“Better. I promise you a home” she answered quietly, moving away to tend another soldier's wounds.

After a German attack in a secluded village, the soldiers could only try to pray for any survivors - the attack was brutal. The houses were on the ground, some toys and furniture disorganized all over the place, a gray feeling hanging around their heads.

When the troop was ready to leave, Lionel heard a quiet sound under some rubble, calling his colleagues to check it out. Working their way to the sound, an old lady was buried underneath it, breathing with difficulty.

Lionel didn't think twice and fought to work her out of there, but when she was at his hold, it was already too late. On her last breath, she pressed a palm to his face and whispered “son… It's already late for this life, but I banish the dark hold in your destiny. After so much suffering, your hearts deserve happiness” and with that, she was gone.

Lionel cried, so tired with all the tragedy and death around him, he didn't really understand what she meant, but laid her body in respect and moved forward.

Sadly, no one could predict a blitzkrieg, and one that hit exactly where they moved, and also so near their base - their safety. Lionel was unfortunately one of the victims, the bomb hitting near his body.

The last thing he could comprehend was his body being moved as the pretty nurse moved desperately to save him, crying as she held his body and he finally let go, thinking of their home.

'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•'︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•'

USA, 2023

Leon was sore after returning from another mission - one that could be considered a suicide one, but he wasn't that lucky to finally be able to rest peacefully.

He threw his body on his couch, but soon stood up and grunted as he reminded himself that he promised to go to an art exhibition with Claire and Chris, a piece of normalcy in a word reeking with monsters and nightmares.

How Claire managed to get Chris to come to a thing like that? Only God knows, but it would be a welcomed company amongst the bullshit that the art world revolves around.

As they reached the gallery, packed with artists, critics and obnoxious people who saw art in a dot of paint, Claire looked in glee at all the art pieces as Leon and her brother played a game of “blind or high?”, where they tried to guess if the artist was blind while making the piece or just purely high on whatever drug Umbrella passed along the streets to control people.

As they looked at the pieces, Claire stopped specifically at a painting of a couple sitting on a field, a picnic towel underneath them as the sky was purple, with the sun setting down and the moon reaching up. There were some children playing in the background, but much couldn’t be said, as they were mere shadows.

Leon looked at the painting puzzled, something in the art making his heart ache and long for, but he had no idea why. While Chris just whispered a “oh, definitely high” at him, he couldn't answer. The sight felt so familiar, but so painful, that he wanted to cry. Maybe fighting monsters and almost dying everyday was finally getting him.

A lady stopped in front of that painting, and looked at Leon with a witty smile and sparkly eyes “what do you see?”

As he looked at her, it was like the world stopped. She was just an unknown woman, but something felt so familiar in her. His heart was screaming for him to hug and kiss her, and Leon didn't know if he finally went insane or he was just deprived of affection (maybe both, but he didn't want to put a lot of thought into it).

Her hair matched her face perfectly, her makeup was minimal, contrasting with the red lipstick on her inviting lips. Her clothing molded perfectly into her pretty body, and he had to hold himself back from looking at her for too long.

With a deep sigh, he truthfully told her “I'm not good with art… but I think they look like a couple in love. A family, even. Maybe enjoying a picnic on a Sunday” he answered the stranger, holding back a blush.

Claire slapped him, embarrassed “you just described the painting you idiot, she meant more profoundly!”

The lady giggled, making Leon forget how to breathe for a second. She shakes her head and adds “no, I liked his observation. It looks like a dream Sunday, in my opinion” She winked at Leon

Still fighting a blush, he teased back “Okay then, Picasso, what do you see?”

The woman took a long breath and looked at the painting again “I see pain, but also hope. It feels like broken hearts being brought together. Kinda poetic.”

Leon could only look at her and smile, as she did the same. Pain and love. Leon could understand those feelings mixed together.

As they kept talking and walking through the gallery together, they failed to see the owner of the painting, an old woman who watched them with a smirk. 

She turned to her assistant and said “Isn't destiny a funny thing? I guess I have to watch closely for inspiration for my next pieces, I've never gotten the full story before.”

The assistant looked at the artist in confusion, but didn't press the matter. The only thing she could think was: “Guess all the best artists are crazy people.”

[selfishdoll]

❛hate you...❜ ━━ ft. kamo choso

⁺ 𓂋 𓈒 SUMMARY. ━━ you hated your rival kamo choso. you did, even when he was balls deep inside you.

⁺ 𓂋 𓈒 CONTENT WARNING. ━━ rushed & ugly i’m sorry | ooc! choso | slight mean dom choso (more snarky then anything ) | rivals to fwb(?) | short drabble | porn w/ feelings ( you two are far too stubborn ) | sex in a supply closet | semi-public sex | pet names ( princess & sweetheart ) | overachiever reader | etc. if i forgot something let me know.

⁺ 𓂋 𓈒 NOTE. ━━ this is rushed asf since i’m finna see a movie in like.. literally 30 mins. sorry bbies <3. pls excuse typos & grammar mistakes <3

You hated, Kamo Choso. Hated him. Every single time he entered your gaze your blood boiled, eyebrows furrowed and struggling not to release harsh words and criticisms. Why? Because you were an overachiever.. you used to be the perfect intern of your company until he arrived. Climbing up the ranks just to stand beside you, the two of you fighting for the spot of best intern. Knowing that whoever won had a guaranteed permanent spot in the company.

You hated Choso simply because whatever he did, he did it effortlessly. The man barely had to lift a finger and he succeeded in whatever he did. Granted you were amazing in your own right, but it still frustrated you.

You hated Choso so much, for so many things. Especially for how easily he could make you cry all over his dick.

“Hey.. hey—“ Thick fingers squeezed your cheeks, pulling your gaze back to his face. Choso grinned down at you, pressing his forehead against yours. “Oh focus, sweetheart— we can’t have you too fucked out during the meeting.” Despite his words his hips didn’t stop, a harsh grip on your waist while his cock drove in and out of your wet, velvety walls. Your sweet moans escaped right by his ear, french nails digging into his covered shoulders.

The mention of the meeting however, had your hazy gaze fixing onto his face, barely balancing on one leg. “Ch—choso, it starts in ten minutes—!” You quickly covered the squeal that escaped you the moment he thrusted deeper, tip kissing your cervix.

“Then hurry up and come.” Choso spoke gruffly, face falling to your neck whilst his pace never stopped. He told you to stay focused yet here he was, eyes pinched closed as he attempted to mute the groans threatening to escape. You felt far too damn good, walls clinging to his cock with each stroke. How your pretty damn voice was against his ear and your warm plush form.. fuck, Choso was losing his damn mind.

You were always so damn mean to him, so combative. Yet so different inside this supply closet. Plausible, putty he could mold right in his large hands.

The man pulled back, quickly regretting it when his eyes landed upon your face. Head pressed against the wall, wet bruised lips parted as discombobulated strings of his name carried from your throat. Choso hissed, reaching between the two of your to delicately flick his thumb against your hardened bud, watching in enjoyment as you reached down to grip his wrist.

“T—too much—“

“Nah.. you wanted this so bad, princess. Wearing such a tiny skirt.” Choso grunted, slamming into you mercilessly. “To think you hate me so much yet here you are, making such a mess for me. You like me don’t you?” His tone teetered on hopefully, leaning to press wet kisses against the side of your face.

You quickly shook your head, attempting to force an angry expression; one that melted away with each thrust. Choso sucked his teeth, quickening the pace of his finger as his breath grew ragged.

You both knew the answer to that question, both knew you were lying your ass off. Such a stubborn woman you are.. something Choso couldn’t help but like about you.

Your fingers clung to him desperately, eyes pinched close as a soft cry escaped you— creaming all over his length. Your arousal dripped, Choso shivering at the way your walls clenched tight around him. A heavy swear escaped him, thrusting himself deep before finishing inside, the warmth causing a whine to escape you.

Soft pants escaped the both of you, Choso placing you on shaky legs after pulling out. You leaned against the wall for stability, hand pressed against your stomach before glancing down— “Fuck.. I’m gonna have to go to the bathroom.” You hissed, eyes turning up to the man who only grinned at you.

Tucking himself back into his pants and fixing his attire, he pushed forward to kiss your forehead. “See you at the meeting, sweetheart.” His tone was sing-songy, opening the supply closet door.

“Dick.” You hissed, cheeks hot as you pulled yourself together.

You ended up being about fifteen minutes late to the meeting, your boss surprisingly understanding. Though he was a little concerned.. seeing as you were walking just a little weird.

reblogs & comments are appreciated

[biconickyoshi]

Okay y’all… I was very critical of eps 3 & 4 (especially 4) of NAtLA. Then all of a sudden eps 5 & 6 kinda slapped me in the face with how much better the show suddenly got.

Spoiler-free thoughts first:

Zuko, Iroh, and Aang have cemented themselves as the best parts about this adaptation - which is really funny considering I’m currently writing a longfic AU where Zuko and Iroh discover Aang in the iceberg right after Zuko is banished at age 13 and end up becoming the first members of the Gaang (albeit reluctantly at first lol). Episode 6: “Masks” (the Blue Spirit adaptation) was so good, I’d venture to say that it actually improved and fleshed out some things from the original series.

Episode 5: “Spirited Away”, while not as good as E6, was not as bad as I heard people say it was going to be. I think that the changes they did make didn’t bother me nearly as much as the changes they made in the last episode, and it was actually entertaining.

There were several scenes that made me cry in both of these episodes (moreso in episode 6, which I’ll get into further down in the spoiler section). These are the scenes that I feel like really tapped into the heart of the original show rather than feeling like a soulless remake.

Now for my in-depth thoughts (INCLUDES SPOILERS):

EP 5: “Spirited Away”

- Staring out, I was bummed because I had just rewatched the first two eps of the original animated series lol.

- It was an interesting choice to have all three members of the Gaang get stuck in the Spirit World, but I think it worked.

- Wan Shi Tong just showing up randomly was a bit unnecessary, but I suppose it will be kinda interesting to see him again in S2 since he’s already met the Gaang

- Hei Bai plays a much smaller role in these eps, but I strangely didn’t mind that either?

- Seeing Katara’s last memory with her mom was devastating, especially the fact that she had to witness her death and hide in the igloo with Kya’s charred body :(( she definitely has severe PTSD.

- Even Sokka’s memory made me tear up a bit

- Koh being the villain and a soul-eater or whatever was a bit of an odd choice, but I guess I can see why they did it. I do prefer him just being an asshole who steals ppl’s faces lol

- Appreciated the Fog of Lost Souls reference from the LoK lore

- Aang reuniting with Gyatso made me cry. I know some people didn’t like him being in the Spirit World, but I really liked it. Also, the fact that Gyatso was the first person to tell Aang that it wasn’t his fault the Air Nomads died, and that if he had been there he would have died too? THANK YOU! My poor boy has been berated enough for “abandoning” the world.

- We got some interesting lore about the afterlife for humans from Gyatso and Aang’s convo, which we’ve never gotten in AtLA media before. Idk if it’s just for Air Nomads, but Aang mentions that Gyatso stayed behind instead of “seeking enlightenment”. I know that the end goal in Buddhism is to reincarnate until you eventually achieve nirvana, so I wonder if that’s what they were alluding to (I’m not an expert on religions so pls correct me if I’m wrong)

- Oh yeah, I forgot June is here lmao. As a queer person I loved her (bc beautiful goth woman) but I didn’t like the weird choice to make her hit on Iroh - I guess to contrast the Iroh being creepy towards her thing in the OG series. I wish they would have just had them interact normally tbh, no weird “flirting”

EP 6: “Masks”

- Here we go y’all. The best episode in the show so far and probably the best the show is gonna get this season. I’m still pretty shocked at how good this one was.

- I think the decision to include flashbacks to Zuko’s Agni Kai was a good decision here. It felt like an appropriate episode for them and the flashbacks were very well done.

- In general, Dallas is doing a phenomenal job at portraying a Zuko who is angry and aggressive, yes, but also so very sweet and compassionate at his core. I love when little inklings of his true self shine through.

- Roku was… not what I expected. He was very much more of a lighthearted and jokey person… I didn’t hate it, it was just unexpected lol. I wonder if they did that to contrast him with Kyoshi. Which, speaking of, I’m glad Roku clarified that Aang doesn’t just need to be a merciless warrior (and that he didn’t berate Aang for “abandoning” the world like she did). But I still am annoyed about the mischaracterization of Kyoshi in general.

- RIP Shyu :/

- Thought it was kind of strange how June captures Aang at Roku’s temple lol. Like how did she get on and off the island??

- Zhao continues to feel like a completely different character to me lmao. I think this version is pretty funny, but it’s so weird to see Zhao being portrayed as so goofy and incompetent when he was such an intimidating force and the main villain of Book 1 in the OG series. Just a weird direction they went with his character.

- The Yuyan archers look cool as fuck. 10/10 no notes

- Still not sure how I feel about Azula already being this insecure and jealous of Zuko. I think it makes her feel a bit more realistically like a child, but the whole point of Azula’s character is that she is really good at maintaining this cool and calm persona on the surface, which she uses to scare and manipulate people. I can see her maybe getting to a point later on to where she hardens herself into that though. We’ll see.

- Baby Zuko asking Iroh how he looks and his little smile 😭😭😭😭 I had a physical “aww” reaction to that. THAT’S MY SON (me and Iroh shouting in unison)

- War Room scene was handled very well. No complaints. I like how Ozai tried to test Zuko with battle strategies.

- Blue Spirit break out scene was extremely close to the original, and it was really good. They adapted it almost shot for shot with all the important parts.

- Here’s probably my favorite part of the episode: Zuko and Aang’s talk inside the abandoned house after they escape from Pohuai!!!!!! Gahhhh I could gush about this scene all day. I love how they expanded it to be an actual friendly conversation between Aang and Zuko. Like we get to see Zuko’s true self coming through - the sweet, kind boy we know he is. Zuko and Aang just have such great chemistry as well, wayyy more than Aang has with either Sokka or Katara. Like I adored them bonding over painting and caligraphy!!! I think this is the best acting we’ve seen from Gordon so far, and Dallas did a phenomenal job switching back to that hurt, angry version of himself (of course a trauma response). And the fact that Aang said “sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you” when he blocked Zuko’s firebending attack??? My sweet boy 😭

- The final flashback to the Agni Kai was really well done too. I’d already heard Zuko fights back, which I wasn’t sure I’d like, but I actually didn’t mind it. I really liked that they showed Zuko’s hesitation whenever he did actually have an opening, and that was what angered Ozai the most - Zuko showing compassion, “weakness”. Daniel Dae Kim is of course doing a phenomenal job (no surprises there), and I really liked that Iroh actually attempted to stop Ozai at one point. It also looked like young Azula had tears in her eyes, which I again actually liked because it humanizes her.

- I loved that Aang was still there when Zuko woke up on the boat 😭 he wanted to make sure he was okay!! I full on started crying when we got the “do you think we could have been friends too?” lines from him. Again, Gordon killed it. I love how you can tell that Aang knows Zuko has been hurt and that’s why he acts the way he does. He doesn’t blame him for any of it. 10/10

- the last flashback to Zuko in his bed recovering from the burn… god the tears just kept flowing. I really liked the choice to have Ozai almost give Zuko a chance to like… idk understand why he did what he did, and how compassion is “weak”?? And then Zuko’s response to give people a chance 😭😭😭 as if I couldn’t love him any more!!! And then of course Ozai gets pissed. But seeing baby Zuko just cry in his bed UGH I’m dehydrated at this point

- Of course I can’t finish this review without mentioning the 41st division. What an incredible way to expand upon the source material by making them Zuko’s crew!!! It shows just how much Zuko truly cares about others and it moved me so much (once again to tears).

I don’t have high hopes for the last two episodes, but honestly, if this is what the live action can be, it gives me a bit of hope (at least for future seasons). I really think that Dallas, Gordon, Paul, and Daniel were the stars of this ep and are a big part of what made it so good.