#plus i fucking love cats so joke’s on you 🤭🤭

[greg-montgomery]

The universe deciding to gift me with a Hotch/Greg energy post !! so I'm back like that ugly in a cute way stray cat you regret petting that one time who won't stop showing up at your door:

I'm such a sucker for duos where one is frustratingly oblivious and/or the other is terrible at flirting.

(@ravensmadreads)

the universe supports our obsession 😌

okay OMG i’m just thinking that you would be the blue text when it comes to you and aaron but greg would be the blue text when it comes to you and greg 😭 like idk it makes sense like this in my head????

when it’s you and aaron, it’s him who’s oblivious! because who would ever love a sad, traumatized old man?? (yeah he’s an idiot for thinking like that about himself but we love him ☹️) he just doesn’t even think it’s a possibility that you’d be into him. so you have to get like super obvious for him to get the message 😭😭 you’ll literally be like “so when are you gonna take me out 😌🥰” and he’ll be like “didn’t we go out for drinks with the team after our last case?” and you’re like “…i mean just us” and aaron is like “why just us 😳 do you have an issue with the rest of the team?” he’s so smart i promise, just not with you ❤️

at some point you just get too obvious for him not to get it so the realization suddenly hits him! he’s standing in front of the mirror getting ready in the morning and a text from your last night’s conversation comes to mind and he freezes 🧍🏻bc wait a minute…does his crush actually like him back???? so he decides to straight up ask you if you’re flirting with him and you’re so tired 😭 bc “yes, aaron, i am trying, but you’re making it really fucking hard so most of the time i have no clue what i’m doing”

he’ll probably just get into his car and drive straight to your house after that response 🤭

now with greg!! he’s such a mess around you!! bc he thinks you’re soooooo pretty and it’s making him nervous!! so he doesn’t know how to flirt 😭😭 he makes a few compliments and tries to drop ideas for dates but you’re just your same oblivious self every time like “ahh thank you, greg 🥰” or “oh i love this movie too! but who are you going to take to the movies with you :(“ and he’s like “i’m trying to take you. please say yes i wanna cry” so this time you’re the one who suddenly realizes that greg has been in love with you the whole time 😭😭 and you’re like “me??? 🫢” and he just sighs “yes, y/n, i’ve been in love with you for a year now. at this point let’s just skip the movies and go get married as our first date”

[banananami]

Couple Costumes with JJK Men!

A/N: October is here so here is a halloween related thread! I couldn’t find a photo for the second costume I chose for Megumi and Gojo but just imagine there is one! Plus, apologies in advance for these photos - I couldn’t find any photos that reflected the vision in my head (who knew it would be hard to find simple halloween related photos!)

GOJO

Trying to figure out Gojo was so hard, but honestly all i can guarantee is that he’d want you to look sexy as FUCK.

He’d probably do the Ken and Barbie couples costume. Little did he know that he’d get so turned on by you in a pink cowboy outfit. BUT then he would remember the plot to the Barbie movie and ask questions like if it’s feminist to say you look sexy in the barbie costume 😭😭.

If it was a halloween party with the first and second years, then I feel like he’d dress up as a mummy. He typically wraps his eyes up so it’s an easy costume idea! You’d put on a cute archaeologist/Indiana Jones-esque outfit on! The kids thank you for wrapping up Gojo’s mouth with a bandage so they don’t have to hear him make corny jokes about their costumes 😭

GETO

I was originally going to suggest Geto and you dressing up as a priest and a nun, but I feel as though that might be offensive!

SO, you guys dress as Grimm and Malaria (Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy)! It’s a cartoon show you both loved watching during your times at school (Shoko loved it too but she couldn’t handle you two flirting whilst the three of you would watch it on TV).

If not Billy and Mandy, then I could imagine a Batman and Catwoman costume (Rob Pat and Zoe Kravitz version). Simple, cheap, and effective! Plus, Geto in eye makeup??? Yes please!!

NANAMI

I think it would be difficult to persuade Nanami to wear a costume but if he did, it would be most likely something simple like Morticia and Gomez from the Addams Family!!

All he has to do is slick his hair down, wear a suit and a fake stache! Plus, he loves you just as much as Gomez loves Morticia so!!!

BUT if you can somehow really convince him then there’s also the option of dressing like Woody and Jessie from Toy Story.

The funky patterns of the Cowboy Costume reminds him of his funky tie so why wouldn’t he!! Plus, Nanami in a cowboy hat would be so cute (I need an artist to draw Nanami in a Woody costume ASAP!!)

MEGUMI

Similar to Nanami, I think it would be difficult to convince Megumi to do something eccentric as a halloween costume.

He’d do something low maintenance with you like being skeletons together!!

Unless you trick him and paint cat whiskers on his face instead 🤭 Megumi as a lil black cat 🐈‍⬛ is so cute to me !!

He’d be slightly annoyed at first but the look on your face over him being a silly little kitten makes it worthwhile! The meowification of Megumi Fushiguro!

YUUJI

I just know this boy loves Halloween!!! If he loves horror films then best believe he loves Halloween, okay!

That being said, I don’t think he’s super creative at designing costumes. The most creative he’d be is cutting two holes in your white bed sheets and throwing it over you! You might even pop some shades on Yuuji to make him look cooler 😎.

HOWEVER, if Yuuji is willing to splash some money on clothes and makeup, then best believe he’d dress up as Beast boy!! You’re obviously Raven ofc. Would definitely win best couple costume!

[starry-eyed-wild-child]

🌻 clay roach heacanons 🌻

a/n: this is based a little on THIS post i made about clay being the rory character that would have the sweetest girl

. first, and foremost, I absolutely love this little wet cat - I live him, I breathe him, I want to gnaw and chew at him

. but we move

. the only way i could imagine you meeting clay was definitely like a childhood sweetheart type thing going on, y'know? - like you met when you were like seventeen, and you just kinda... got stuck with him?

. he's cocky - no doubt about it. this man is the most snarky, sarcastic asshole you'll ever meet

. HOWEVER, he's so sweet on you because he just doesn't wanna break you. but will never say this to your face

. I don't see clay as a very cuddly person, it's just not his thing, even before all the heroin

. however, this man is a sucker for the small things. hell yeah, forehead kisses. absolutely hold my hand. definitely, c'mere, baby, nuzzle your nose against mine

. he's not a big fan of nicknames that much, but his favourite will always be 'babydoll' and I stand by this. clay legit forgets your name because he never uses it

. it's probably not the most healthy relationship, let's be honest, but that's the sad reality of drugs, babe - clay will lie to you, keep secrets from you, and you probably wouldn't even know

. however, that doesn't mean he doesn't love you to pieces, he absolutely 100% does

. clay's very forgetful, he's strung out most of the time, so don't expect him to remember anything important lmao

. is a dog man, and this will be controversial but it's so true - get this man a little fucking golden retriever, I BEG

. he just loves the warmth of a dog - i imagine that clay's always cold, and so always needs to be holding something warm

. again, nsfw under the cut cause I'm sensible like that

. you thought kappa was dirty? let me tell you right now, this man is the filthiest man on the planet

. not even necessarily kinky, he just knows how to talk to you just right. clay is the king of dirty talk, and this is a hill I will die on

. no joke, clay could make you cum in about a minute just from talking. it's the accent bro 😭

. loves, loves, loves using his hands - everything else is great, don't get me wrong, but this man loves nothing more than having you sat with your back against his chest as he fingers the life outta you

. hair pulling kink - this goes both ways. he loves tangling his hand in your hair, and he's always gentle. you're his precious little baby, he doesn't wanna hurt you

. but on him?! oh lord, he's practically begging you to pull harder

. clay loves thighs. kissing them, biting them, laying his head on them, holding them, he loves it all

. clay is a rough and deep kinda guy, slow and sensual are not words in his vocabulary

. THIS MAN IS HELLA LOUD - and he doesn't give two fucks who hears him. he will moan, groan, grunt, growl, whimper and whine and he's not ashamed at all

. I personally can't really see clay as the submissive type, he'll let you ride him and it's his favourite thing in the world, but he still has all the power

. give this man a blowjob and he's getting on his knees with a ring

. I don't see him much to give you head, he'll do it every now and then when he's in the mood, but he much prefers using his fingers

. getting his girl to grind against his pillow 🤭

. but when he does give you head, kiss your ability to walk goodbye 😚

. a tiny bit of a daddy kink me thinks?! 🤭

. just ride him, man, he's a lazy fuck - he's not, he just loves watching you on top, PLUS it's less effort

. overall, is he morally good? no, absolutely not - he'd probably realistically be like a 4/10, but I love him so much I'm just gonna boost him up to an 8.5/10 cause who's gonna tell me I can't?

[madstronaut]

PSA: i am an absolute sucker for meet-cutes

ya know what's funny? every time I have the passing thought wondering if I'll run out of fic I've bookmarked to (lovingly) rant about, my moots/cod writers never fail to deliver new bangers after bangers... at this rate my bookmark folder is bursting at the seams and threatening to explode into a big flaming glorious ball of confetti and words and emotions and tears (mine, my tears, those are all mine-)

I have also had the most exhausting past few weeks and seeing memes crop up about "becoming important at work is ruining my life" hit a little too real for me to laugh without crying a teeny bit but you know who i know got me? FANFIC WRITERS MY BELOVEDS THAT'S WHO 💖💖💖 (whom? fuck idk anymore how did I even get my job when I fuck up basic grammar lol)

I have been listening to Posty's new country song with Dolly Parton and it feels incredibly gaz-coded to me... I recently went karaoke-ing and let me tell you I would flirt hardcore by alternately winking constantly/making deep unblinking eyecontact into kyle's baby browns while singing this song anyway sorry totally sidetracked by daydreaming about making out with gaz and then wearing nothing but his hat while i ride his d- [rest of sentence drowned out by dolly parton's bridge]

ok fuck THE FIC WHERE WAS I BACK TO THE FIC

Reading: Firefighter!Kyle by @stellewriites

ok to start mister mistoffelees!!!!!!! what a name I swear cat owners give their pets the wildest names (I met someone who had two cats named porterhousesteak and shakeandbake - both names were pronounced like one word) (also on the off-chance charlotte if you're reading this, let's pretend we are two ships passing in the night and you can ignore my videogame military men thirstblog and i'll ignore the names you chose to bestow on your pets)

and even before stelly described him I KNEW HE WAS AN ORANGE CAT 😂

also I have not read or seen Cats the book/musical/movie prior to reading this fic but this made me want to so that I can flirt with stelleverse!kyle

“please misty, my arms are tired and my neighbours have probably already lost all respect for me,” you groaned. it turned into a huff when he turned away to clean his paws, ignoring you again. “you win! there, happy? you furry little orange devil, you fucking win!”

🤭🤭🤭 ok but let's be real we've all been there pleading with pettos and having full-on one-sided conversations with em

you pulled out your phone and skimmed the articles you’d pulled up advising you on how to get a stuck cat out of a tree.

*running to google* also is this not the most millenial/gen-z thing to do!!!! lmao the things I have googled....

“ah that looks like a job for our best man, don’ya agree, si? think this requires garrick’s expertise,” the man said again, smirking at the man sat next to him up front.

we stan a man who sees someone and goes "that's my mate's type" i feel like soap would be such a good wingman

“oi! i’d be happy to help the bonnie thing with their pussy, but ah thought you might appreciate stretching yer legs,” ‘tav huffed from the window.

irl men saying this to me: mace to the face first, questions later

fictional video game men saying this line to me: *practicing deep lunges so I can open my legs for them even wider*

“ahh ok,” kyle nodded. he tested the balance of the ladders against the tree. “musical or book?” my mum used to love t. s. eliot, so i know probably more than i should about it,” he joked, slowly reaching his hand out for misty to sniff at.

NERDY MAMA'S BOY THEATER LOVER CAT WHISPERER HIMBO KYLE MY BELOVED (seriously stelly just took all my fucking weaknesses and rolled them into firefighter!kyle)

“it’s what we’re here for,” kyle said easily, shrugging as he came to stand before you. “plus, it’s always easy when the callers are so pretty.” “hah! right, yeah he’s a cutie,” you said and wiggled your fingers at misty, letting him bat at them. kyle waited for you to look up before replying. “i meant you,” he said a little sheepishly.

"he said a little sheepishly" that cat better get back in that tree to make space cos I'd be taking a running leap into his arms after rizzing me up like that

“like, how? on the emergency number?” you hinted. “ah fuck,” he swore and patted at his pockets. you heard the scotsman laugh from the truck and hid your own teasing smile behind your hand.

SCCREEEAAAMMMING

I would be remiss not to include this cute little challengefic stelly wrote that I have daydreamed about multiple times after reading (I usually picture gaz or soap here when I read about college/uni!141)

the fic also reminds me of the large lectures I attended in college (I was a solid sit near the middle or 2/3 up the room but never allll the way in the back student) where I observed in no particular order:

several randos watching various LOTR movies on their laptop

watching Pirates of the Caribbean and Dragon Ball Z was also super popular

also anime porn! FUCKING WHY THO SIT AT THE VERY BACK IF YOU'RE GONNA DO THIS YOU FUCKING DEGENERATE I DID NOT NEED TO SEE THAT IN MY SOPHOMORE LINGUISTICS LECTURE

also re: chronic anime porn purveyor -> seeing a girl straight up go over and unplug his charger from the wall socket AND his laptop and just WALK AWAY WITH IT 😂🙌 (my queen I still think about you from time to time after all these years, I oft pray to match a thimbleful of your energy)

girl playing Pokemon Red on an emulator on her laptop (I was riveted and also went to search and download the same and got lost in the sauce burning through all the pokegames for a hot minute too...THANK YOU ARIA!!!!!!!!)

guy playing tetris on his comp at an INSANELY god-tier speed level; i'm positive he did it for an audience because i swear i saw people attempting to look for and sit behind him to observe him during classes to watch his ass play (noooo this wasn't me who said that also he was kinda cute in a 'you are very competent in this weirdly niche area and i find that kinda hot' way)

girl dropping $800+ on topshop website (am I dating myself mentioning topshop lol is it still around?!?!)

guy speedwriting a paper for another class and turning it in - all during a totally unrelated class, honestly was impressed

girl flawlessly applying liner, lipstick, and a glitter topper without spilling or getting the glitter everywhere (btw at a 9am lecture? slay sis)

anyway can you tell i went to a very large uni lol OK WHERE WAS I BACK TO FIC BACK TO FIC

you stared at the screen unblinkingly, thoroughly distracted from your course and the discussion around you until a hand holding a slip of paper appeared at your shoulder in your peripheral. you flicked your eyes up and found the professor busy facing the board and took the chance to swivel in your seat to look up at the one above yours and the handsome man that currently claimed it.

I can physically feel my pupils popping til they engulf my eyes as I read this - also I loved the premise of this challenge (cali my beloved making bangers as usual @the-californicationist) with people having to guess who the chara was! one of the verrrry first fics I read in cod fandom was an insert-blorbo-of-your-choice-here x reader that I looooooooooved; I find the fill-in-the-blank aspect verrrry titillating✨

“i could maybe think of some way you could thank me,” he acquiesced, smile turning sly. “better concentrate on the front of the class for now though.” he nodded forward.

can also physically feel my pupils turning to heart eyes at this line 😍UNFFFF YES YES LET'S HAPPILY BRAINSTORM THE MANY MANY M A N Y WAYS I COULD THINK OF THANKING YOU GOOD SIR

i met some of my best mates (and earned some wild stories to boot) at uni, as they say over on the other side of the pond, and all the fun cute chaotic little moments of serendipity sprang back up when I read stelly's works and made me feel incredibly nostalgic 🥰🥰🥰 going old school and pulling out my 2008 neutrogena lipgloss out of memory lane for my chef's kisses for yooouuuuu mwahmwahmwahmwah😙👌😙👌😙👌😙👌