Essays for my Destiel Playlist Pt.1
Turning Page - Sleeping At Last
Turning Page is literally my #1 Destiel Anthem. It's a crime to humanity that I haven't seen it respected as such. In this essay, I will argue my points for your consideration.
If you'd like to view my full Destiel playlist, I've tagged it at the end of this post. I add to it frequently and it has a mix of many genres. I'm actually very proud of it.
Turning Page is pining, yearning, learning. It's so effortlessly deep, just like Dean and Cas are.
There is magnitude to everything he says.
Everything he could ever tell Dean about this cosmic thing, because isn't that what it is?
Cosmic love?
Defying the will of God,
fallen from grace for it,
dragged down by it,
death-abating love?
I've waited a hundred years
But I'd wait a million more for you
Never since the dawn of creation had he ever truly felt a thing
He was never meant to, never coded and programmed for it
Nothing would ever come close, he knew
He thought -
Dean Winchester was raised as Castiel was dragged down,
eye for an eye
He had noticed the change in himself,
the doubts he had never dared to even think suddenly clouding his judgement,
things he knew he could only ever confess to Dean
How was he, forever unfeeling, supposed to know that looking into Dean's soul would burn through the lies?
Nothing prepared me for
What the privilege of being yours would do
How could he ever turn back from that?
From this?
This human being that chose other people over himself every chance he had,
that gave up his childhood for his brother
This man that was more than what his father molded him to be, just like he was himself
So he watched him
Noticing intimate details he had never noticed on another person before,
dragging in thoughts he had never had,
these emotions he was never supposed to feel
If I had only felt the warmth within your touch
But what was doubt compared to Dean's hand on his shoulder? Slung over his back?
If I had only seen how you smile when you blush
How could his fear compare?
Or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough
How could anything compare to how he felt when Dean smiled?
Under that direct hit of light, so bright he couldn't help but return it,
he made his choice
I would have known what I was living for all along
What I've been living for
So he fell
Your love is my turning page
Where only the sweetest words remain
Into humanity,
Every kiss is a cursive line
Every touch is a redefining phrase
Embracing the earth,
I surrender who I've been for who you are
For nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart
The light of Heaven was no match for the sunshine in Dean's smile
No match for the individuality of mortality,
No match for the feeling of family,
love that he had never understood or known,
even if the piece he wished he had wasn't meant to be
If I had only felt how it feels to be yours
It was never planned, never written
Out of thousands of drafts, his love for Dean Winchester only existed in one
Well, I would have known what I've been living for all along
What I've been living for
This cosmic thing
Though we're tethered to the story we must tell
When I saw you, well I knew we'd tell it well
strong enough to defy the Will of God,
With a whisper, we will tame the vicious seas
won't get a happy ending
Like a feather, bringing kingdoms to their knees
but it will forever be his and only his
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