#poor Cassian got murdered in it

[tswaney17]

Just finished my reread of ACOSF (🥴) and I have two highlights I want to point out.

Funny how when Elain stabs a man and the blade pierces through his next, he can miraculously have a chance to heal, but when Nesta does it, he’s dead. The King of Hybern could not have survived a wound like what Elain gave him. Blood sprayed and he had it coming out of his mouth. Nesta’s severing of his head from his body only made death come quicker. But Elain’s initial stabbing would’ve killed him. She is the Kingslayer (fuck, Sarah, I hope you make this right in Elain’s book).

Gwyn had no interest in being called a Carynthian. And yet, she is still depicted as being this great Carynthian warrior (she was unconscious on the back of Emerie and put them all into danger by throwing a tantrum, let’s be real). Because Az is Carynthian and Gwyn is “Carynthian” so they must be equals… 🙄 Your supposed fav character doesn’t want to be called it.

I mean, overall, ACOSF was trash. Literally the worst in the series for me. But just hearing how much Sarah is enjoying writing the next ACOTAR book gives me hope that Elain’s book will be 🤌💋. Also, the Az bonus chapter is some of the hottest shit she’s written and that was during the subpar smut she put into ACOSF. God give me strength for their book. I’ll be on my knees as much as Azriel will be. 😉

Read my full review and highlights here.

[daycourtofficial]

Falling in Love on the Fourth Floor - part 14.1

Pairing: Azriel x reader | WC: 3.5k | previous part | masterlist

Summary: Out of an act of desperation, you move in with a guy you kind of know who happens to have a really hot brother who lives next door.

Author’s note: okay babes I’m desperate to get this out bc this part is going to be so fucking long I had to break it up into parts

“Rhys, stop!”

Feyre’s shriek of annoyance draws your attention to the front, your eyes watching Feyre chastise Rhysand for driving almost 30 miles per hour over the speed limit. You and Azriel were in the backseat of Rhys’s car (“It’s a Tesla,” Rhys would correct), Feyre in the front seat making several comments about the way Rhys drives as if he is attempting to murder all of you.

Mor and Cassian drove separately in Cassian’s truck - you and Azriel snickered at their less than covert attempts to be alone in the apartment. The six of you had been about to hit the road when Cassian had ‘forgotten his driving sunglasses’ and Mor had immediately offered to help. Rhys had rolled his eyes, telling Cassian the four of you were going to head off instead of waiting for them.

Rhys’s lake house was about an hour and a half away, so you and Azriel had spent that time in the back mindlessly chatting, showing each other silly videos of mostly cats. Feyre sat in the passenger seat, deeming herself in charge of the music, the three of you not caring what she put on.

Whenever Rhys and Feyre were too preoccupied in their own conversation to notice the two of you, you would slip your hand into one of Azriel’s, playing with his fingers or just squeezing lightly before pulling away.

“When do we think Cassian will show up?” You ask, making eye contact with Rhys in the rearview mirror. He scoffs, turning his eyes back to the road, “no telling. He’ll get hungry eventually, so he’ll probably show up around dinner.”

The six of you met up around two, you and Azriel almost arriving late because of your lunch date taking too long. Neither of you wanted to pretend there wasn’t something between you two, but both of you wanted to wait a bit before telling everyone, causing the two of you to linger in the parking lot for far too long, neither of you wanting to keep up the charade.

The impending deadline didn’t stop him from kissing you as if he were going off to war in the parking lot of the cafe you two went to, though. You could still taste the coffee he had on your tongue.

Feyre sighed, looking out the window, “maybe I shouldn’t have put my bag in his truck.”

You laughed, partly at her melodramatics, partly at how foolish she was to leave her bag in Cassian’s truck, “I don’t think you’re seeing that bag for a while, Fey.”

She turns her head to look at you, a scowl on her face, “you make it sound like this is my fault.”

“Well, we did put Cassian and Mor in a car together, so maybe the group is at fault. Just be thankful they didn’t pull over and have sex on top of your bag.”

Her scowl deepened, a look of disgust on her features, “my poor bag would never be the same. I would never be the same.”

“You’d have Cassian butt sweat on it.”

“Ewww, stop.”

“Or worse, his butt hair.”

You laugh as Feyre whips her head to scowl at Rhys, “and how do you know about his hairy butt?”

“Cassian spent our teenage years with a new approach to life - he was determined to be naked at any and every opportunity.” You giggle at Azriel’s words, his ears reddening a bit at the attention you were giving him.

“My mother considered kicking him out because he kept walking around naked and standing in the windows.”

You and Feyre giggled at the image, but Rhys continued. “Our neighbors kept calling and complaining. I’m actually not sure how she got him to stop.”

“She probably bribed him. It’s the only way with him.” You quirk an eyebrow at Azriel before he continues, “nothing ever got to him as a kid - yelling, getting in trouble, praising him. But bribery always worked on him.”

You turn to Azriel, pointing your head in the direction of the front seat, “what was Rhys like as a kid.”

Az huffs, “same as now. Spoiled and annoying.”

Rhys glares at him through the rearview mirror, but Az continues. “He was a bit pompous, always talking about how rich his family was.”

You watch Az try to keep from smiling as Feyre laughs, before reaching a hand out to pinch Rhys’s cheek. The movement pings something in your mind, telling you to ask about it later.

“I did not.”

“You once came to school in a helicopter.”

Rhys sinks a bit in his seat, but you file this whole conversation away in a folder of your brain titled ‘ask again later’. You had a vague sense of things you had picked up over time - Rhys’ parents were technically married, but his dad would travel a lot. Rhys’ mother and sister died at some point. Somehow Azriel and Cassian came into the picture.

It was a bit fuzzy, and you never found out why Cassian lived on his own away from Rhys and Az. You had little pieces, but you needed some way to connect the. You filed it away, just allowing yourself to enjoy the car ride.

The ride eventually reached a lull where the two of you sat in the backseat texting each other while Feyre and Rhys talked mindlessly about goats, maybe. You really weren’t sure what was going on up there.

Azriel: did you know all the guys in this town are riddled with disease

Azriel: so you shouldn’t get anywhere near them

Azriel: just to be safe

You: I like disease-riddled men

Azriel: is now a good time to tell you I had chicken pox as a kid

You: oh really?

You: Mmm itchy men

Azriel: I regret this

You: do you have any scars from it?

Azriel: that’s classified

You: I’ll just have to go around searching for them from other men

Azriel: wait no

Azriel: no no no no no

Azriel: this is a joke right

His eyes snap up to you after you refuse to respond to him, and you have to stifle a giggle at the way he’s looking at you.

You: I’m a changed woman. I prefer disease free men now

Azriel: thank god you’ll stay away from Cassian now

You look up at him with wide eyes before you type back furiously.

You: Azriel we share an apartment what do you mean

You: I let him drink my coffee the other day

You: Azzy please tell me you’re joking

You huff as each of your texts is met back with the three dots indicating he was typing. You looked over at him to find him typing random letters before backspacing to allow the dots to stay up.

You: meanie head

Azriel: you’re the one who said you preferred disease riddled men

You: they wouldn’t treat me like this

You: I would be a queen to them

You: me and my disease riddled king

Azriel: that implies you are their diseased queen

The two of you continue trying to stifle giggles as Rhys drives, Az’s hand moving to squeeze your thigh. You’re so distracted by texting him and his hand on your thigh you don’t notice where you are until the car is pulling into a neighborhood of massive houses that could likely fit multiple families with room to spare. You sit up straighter, looking out the window at these multi-dollar houses and wonder if this was a vacation home, what did Rhys’ house look like growing up?

You knew Rhys’s dad’s lake house was going to be a ridiculously large house. You knew that before, you knew that as the car drove through the neighborhood, but pulling up into the driveway it was as if you had completely forgotten. The house was massive - it had to be at least three floors above ground, and the property it was on was large too.

Rhys’ car slows across the long driveway, no other cars around. You have to strain your neck to look at the house in its entirety - it was beautiful - three or four floors, large windows showing off spacious areas on the second and third floors. It was a mix of the classic lakehouse look, but with slightly modern twists to it. All you could think about while looking at it was how long it would take to clean it. Most of your squabbles with Cassian were over whose turn it was to do dishes, and you knew this place would really test your friendship with him if you lived here.

Or maybe he’d just be able to better hide his messes in this house.

“How long would this take to clean?”

Your voice comes out a bit squeaky before you clear your throat, looking over at Az.

“You think Rhys’s dad does his own cleaning?”

Rhys parks his car in the garage, the four of you getting out. Rhys opens the trunk, and you reach out to grab your bags but Azriel beats you to it, slinging your duffle bag over his shoulder. He crinkles his nose at your pout, sticking his tongue out as he walks into the house. You follow after him, taking in how nice his back looked through his shirt.

Azriel heads to the stairs, taking Feyre to her room, but you fall back to take in the living room. You could host a house party in this living room and fit a hundred people easily. You siddle next to Rhys, watching him play with the lid of his coffee in one hand, his phone lit up in the other.

“Are you worried at all about your dad showing up?”

Rhys sips his coffee before answering, “I’d be more shocked than anyone if he showed up here. Az, Cass, and I once spent an entire summer camped out here. Didn’t even catch a glimpse of him.” He shrugs, his face looking indifferent as his phone screen displays the ‘find my friends’ app, and he looks quizzically at the screen, trying to figure out where Cassian was, you presume.

He blows out a breath, “I’m gonna call him.”

You walk away, opting to look at the photos that decorated the walls. The living room is covered in them, all shapes and sizes of frames littered the yellow wall. You see photos of younger versions of Azriel, Cassian, and Rhys, photos from when they were about ten or so until pretty recently, if you had to guess. You can watch them grow, the three of them looking so unsure of themselves at various stages.

The young photos of Azriel are littered with an air of sadness to them, his eyes not quite as bright as they are now, bandages still lingering on his hands for a long time. Azriel’s the smallest in what you think is the first photo, not much more than skin and bones, his now tan skin had a sickly pale hue to it. A woman and a young girl are in the photos with them, the five of them all looking remarkably similar - it’d be very easy to convince others that the two boys were Rhys’s brothers. The photos are all tan skin, dark curls limp in some photos from the ocean water. They are scattered across the wall, no chronological order to them, but if you lined them up you could watch the three of them grow.

The photos made you feel a well of emotion - how someone could be so cruel to someone so small, so defenseless. But as the photos continued and Azriel blended in more with this family, it made you feel so proud of him for opening himself up like that, when all he knew was pain.

He hadn’t told you the extent of his childhood - just that his family was awful, he hadn't seen or spoken to them in a decade, and his step brothers burned his hands. But the pictures of this small, helpless boy looking so lost at the lake spoke volumes for him.

Rhys put the phone down from his ear as he hung up. “They’ll meet us at the restaurant for dinner. He muttered something about a pit stop before hanging up on me.”

He gazes at the photos as he stands next to you, his eyes landing on the one you’ve been staring at. It involved a very young Azriel, fresh bandages adorning his hands. The striking woman was holding him so delicately, as if her arms squeezed him too hard he’d burst in her hold.

“That’s my mom.”

His voice catches you off guard, not expecting much of anything from him. He points at the photo, his finger tapping slightly on the glass.

“She’s beautiful.”

He hums in agreement, “she loved Az. She fought so hard for him. First person to fight for him, really. Spent a shit ton of money getting custody of him.”

That surprises you, but you leave it there for now, keeping your eyes on her smiling face. His gaze lingers on her soft smile, “she loved all of us, but boy did she love Az.”

You watch his mind go somewhere, not wanting to intrude, about to step away when he speaks up again. “That’s my sister. Kaylah.”

His finger moves to a photo nearby, landing on the young girl that Cassian had hoisted on his shoulders.

“She’s cute.”

“She loved bothering Cassian. The two of them butted heads more than any of us combined.” His voice was full of love and nostalgia. “She once got so mad at him she pulled her shoe off and threw it at his head. He was so chuffed he didn’t notice her throw the other, both of them hitting his eyes. He had a black eye for weeks.”

You laugh, “oh my gods, what happened?”

“What happened?” He turned to you, a wide grin on his face, “we got kicked out of the restaurant we were in, and she had the audacity to ask for her shoes back because they landed at another table.” He laughs, a twinkle in his eye you had never seen before. “Oh, Kaylah was something. She always made us laugh.”

“What happened to her?”

Rhys looks down, the twinkle immediately leaving his eye, “she and my mom were hit by a drunk driver when we started school. We- it was a hard time.”

You look over at him, tentatively moving your arms around his waist and hugging him to you.

“I’m sorry.”

He squeezes you back, his citrusy scent filling your nose. “Me too.”

The two of you gaze at the photos, at a time long gone, standing in silence as if an embrace could change the ending for the subjects of the photos.

The moment’s broken by Feyre’s voice, “what’s going on here?”

You turn your face to look at her, head still against Rhys’s chest, “I’m sorry you had to find out this way. We’re in love. He’s having my baby.”

She gasps overdramatically, clutching her chest as she puts on a ridiculous voice, “oh my stars! The scandal!”

You giggle as Rhys unwraps himself from you, “we were going to tell everyone while we were here, but it’s true. We’re naming the baby Cassian Junior.”

Feyre breaks her resolve, giggling, “how is it Cassian Junior?”

“Cassian’s adopting him, of course.”

Feyre giggles before coming to the wall of photos, looking too. “Wow, you guys were so little!”

You laugh, “yeah now we have proof Cassian wasn’t born with a six pack.”

“A six pack of beer, maybe.”

Azriel’s voice startled you. How a man so large was so adept at sneaking up on you unaware was impressive. He stopped behind you, but you could feel his warmth through your back.

“That would explain a lot,” Rhys mutters, turning away from the photos and sitting onto the couch. He stretched out his long legs, propping them on the ottoman before him. “That drive took a lot out of me.”

“It was two hours,” you scoff, sitting on a nearby chair. Azriel followed you, sitting in the chair next to you.

“Two hours is a long time.”

“Maybe for a baby,” Feyre coos, sitting next to Rhysand, pinching his cheeks. His hands swat at hers, pushing her away with very little effort. The four of you mindlessly chatter away, Feyre telling you all about something one of her sisters recently did, until Rhys’s phone buzzed again, Mor texting him that they were half an hour away.

The four of you jump back into Rhys’ Tesla, and he rolls down the windows as he drives you all to some restaurant called ‘Mama’s’.

“But ‘Mama’s’ what?” You had asked, to which Rhys and Az shrugged.

“Just ‘Mama’s’.”

You had huffed, accepting the nonanswer for the time being. The windows give you a glimpse of the tax brackets you drove through - starting the journey in multi-million dollar homes occupied during the warm months, the landscape quickly changes to lower and middle class homes for the people who live here year round.

Rhys pulls the car into a small restaurant, fitted with outdoor lighting and seating. It was so homey - a dozen or so people stood around outside, playing some variety of games like checkers and cornhole. A couple dozen more sat at tables, eating what smelled to be the most enticing food ever created. Your stomach rumbles at the smell, and Feyre laughs at you before you poke her in the stomach with an elbow.

You spot Cassian leaning against his car, Mor standing next to him on her phone. He stretches his arms out, huffing, “finally, we’ve been waiting for you!”

Rhys promptly pushes him as he walks past, and Mor giggles as he falters a bit and she falls in line with you and Feyre and you gag at her. “You smell like sex.”

She gasps, “no I do not,” before discreetly smelling her shirt.

“No, you don’t. Made you sniff.”

She rolls her eyes, copying your words in an exaggerated voice.

The six of you find a table, and you’re seated in the middle of the booth with Feyre and Rhys next to you. Azriel sits on the end of the other booth, and you make brief eye contact across the table, sending him a soft smile.

The waitress comes up to your table, her dark hair pulled back in a ponytail, her black clothes making her eyes pop, her name tag reading ‘Steph’. She looked at all of you, but her eyes stopped on Azriel, her smile growing wider at the sight of him.

“Hi everybody, what can I get you all to drink?”

She takes your drinks orders, rubbing Azriel’s shoulder as she walks away. Cassian laughs at Azriel’s grimace, “I think she likes you, Azzy.”

“Shut up, Cass.”

Azriel looked to you as your friends kept talking, and you offered him a smile back. His face was hard to read, but his eyes looked so sad. You cock your head to the side, trying to figure out what the problem was, but he turned his head away.

Dinner goes by in a blur, the food was delicious, the six of you spent the evening joking around, except for Azriel, who spent most of the meal quiet. The waitress came by to check on you all several times, and her blatant efforts at flirting would have been amusing if it wasn’t completely obvious how uncomfortable it made Azriel. Each time she returned to your table, you would watch him tense up as she approached, her hands always finding their way to his shoulders. On her third stop at your table, she began calling him Muffin.

Rhys paid the check, handing over the receipt to Azriel.

“For you, Muffin.”

Azriel takes it, and from next to him you can see the phone number written beneath the total. His hands crumple it, discarding it before you all made it to the parking lot. He opens your door before heading to the other side of the car after you slide into your seat. You immediately pull out your phone, your texts with Azriel lighting up the backseat.

You: hi Muffin

Azriel: I’m so sorry

You: why? Did you do something?

Azriel: for the waitress?

You: did you do something with the waitress?

You: I did go to the bathroom, maybe you slipped out and made out with her?

You can hear Azriel furiously typing on his phone.

Azriel: no no no no

Azriel: I didn’t do that, I wouldn’t do that. I’m sorry she was hitting on me.

Azriel: I didn’t know what to do because I didn’t want to tell her I had a girlfriend

You: you have a girlfriend?

You: and you’ve been making out with me?

You: you dog

You peak over at him and his face is a deep red. You want to laugh but you feel a little bad about your teasing once you see his fingers shaking, having to backspace several times over misspelled words.

Azriel: I think so

Azriel: I didn’t mean to imply anything

You: so, you don’t have a girlfriend?

Azriel: I don’t know

Azriel: maybe?

You: do you want one?

You: a girlfriend, that is

Azriel: god yes

Azriel: but it has to be a specific girl

You: anyone in mind?

Azriel: I have my eye on someone

Series taglist: @anotherbook-obsessedhoe @impossibelle @hayrunnwr @just-a-social-casualty-1 @thisisew @brieflyclassymortal @glitterypirateduck @marshmummy @bookishbroadwaybish @azsteris @doriansgf @footyandformula @od-anon @judig92 @luvmoo @marina468 @buckyandgeraltsupremacy @acotarobsessed @maryssong23 @acourtofbatboydreams @herondale-lightworm @azrielover @carnelshephard

Permanent taglist: @vanilla-seabass @cyrygher @lees-chaotic-brain @topaz125 @chessebookgirl @fides25 @lady-of-tearshed @ashbatz @fxckmiup @lilah-asteria @justvibbinghere @daughterofthemoons-stuff @mybestfriendmademe @heartless-tate @tsunami-of-tears @idrkwhatthisisimsorry @olive-main @azrielsmate3 @pit-and-the-pen @durgenyx @dee-writes-smut @chairofchaos @thelov3lybookworm @berryzxx @throneofsmut @kennedy-brooke @prythianpages @itsswritten @acotarxreader

Azriel taglist: @brieflyclassymortal @thisiskaylin

Thanks for reading ❣️

[wishcamper]

Nessian Week Day 1 - Banter

For our first day of @nessianweek here's a little drabble of our favorite couple doing what they do best.

They flirt. They fight. They fuck. You know the drill.

You can read it here or on ao3!

Win Lose or Draw

Cassian and Nesta take a vacation to Day, where a lot more ends up in their mouths than they bargained for.

CW: consensual sexual content

“I fucking dare you.”

“You think I won’t?”

The scorpion dangled from Nesta’s fingers by a claw, its gleaming body dusted with spices so potent they made Cassian’s eyes water from across the picnic table.

“I think you’re stalling. Take a bite, Lady Death.”

“You go first, Lord of Bloodshed, if you’re so eager,” she snapped, stabbing a finger at the jar of strange, grayish clumps suspended in brine in front of him. Knowing Nesta, they were probably some poor creature’s testicles. 

“I would, but it’s the courteous thing to let the lady go first, sweetheart.”

The bazaar in Day was bustling with activity around them, having found a corner amongst the brightly-colored tents to tuck into with their haul, escaping the burning eye of the sun. They’d each chosen a few things for the other to try, and the deep-fried scorpion was Cassian’s final challenge to Nesta. She’d already housed an inky-veined sheep's milk cheese and a fruit that smelled of rotting meat with nothing but a brief shudder and a prim smack of her lips.

“Suddenly he cares about courtesy. Do I eat the stinger too?”

“If you want to do it right.”

Not long after they’d officially gotten together, Cassian found out that he could get his mate to eat almost anything with a little goading. It all started with a mountain fig soaked in Illyrian moonshine he’d tried to warn her off of at the equinox festival. He’d been captivated by the way she popped it in her mouth in one go, face screwing up against the burn that felled even the fiercest warriors, fighting with every grind of her teeth against the urge to spit it out. 

When she finally swallowed, she looked just as triumphant as she did when she swallowed something else, and Cassian had been unable to help himself ever since.

 It was simple, really, when he thought about it. Nesta liked to win. He liked to watch her win. And so it became a little game between them.

He heard her noise of displeasure over the chatter of other shoppers and Nesta scrunched her nose, surveying the scorpion from all angles. “And what would you know about doing it right?”

“Seemed pretty clear to you last night when you were begging me to -”

“Cassian Archeron, I swear -”

He winked, crossing his arms over his chest in a way he knew emphasized the muscles in his shoulders, the same ones she’d clung to the night before when she’d most definitely been begging.

“I’m just trying to jog your memory, Nes, don’t get defensive.” He patted her hand in as dickish a way as he could, knowing it would make her see red. “It’s okay if you’re worried about gagging and making a fool of yourself.”

They’d come to Day on vacation a dozen times, and he never got tired of the way she lit up when they traveled, how she loved the newness, the adventure. It made him want to relinquish all his duties and spend forever taking her to every far-flung corner of the world, his beautiful wife, who might be currently plotting his murder.

Nesta smiled at him now, the garnets he’d bought her years ago in Rask glinting at her ears. But instead of the rush of victory Cassian felt panic slide down his spine. He’d seen that smile countless times across the training ring, her deadly calm before the strike.

“You know I don’t gag,” she purred, and his brain went fuzzy, thoughts fizzling out. Which she probably knew would happen, just like she knew how it loosened his tongue when she talked like this. He leaned in close so the snake-eyed fae at the table beside them couldn’t overhear.

“You do if I want you to.”

“Is that an order, General?” Silver rolled across her eyes, that deadly fire. “I don’t take kindly to those.”

“Liar.”

He was digging his own grave but he didn’t care, the zing of chemistry bouncing between them. Nesta’s foot slid up his leg beneath the table, hooking around the back of his calf.

“Careful, my love,” she said. “Don’t start something you can’t finish.”

On the bench opposite him, she was the portrait of a lady, perfectly composed in her pale yellow gown that flowed over her freckled shoulders like liquid sunlight. But when he felt the toe of her shoe dig into his leg, he knew she was positioning herself to dislocate his knee. 

Mother, he loved her. And he’d never been good at following directions, anyway.

“Take a bite.”

“No.”

“Take a bite, Nesta.”

Her smoky eyes flashed as she surveyed the scorpion once more, the wraith-pepper flakes and batter encrusting its sharp pincers. “You’re sure this won’t poison me.”

“I’m hurt, sweetheart. You really think I’d endanger you?”

“Depends how far up Rhysand’s ass you are.”

“Okay, I earned that one,” he conceded, grinning. The shame of his early failures still lingered, but they’d come so far. Enough that she felt comfortable joking about it now, that Rhys would’ve tumbled into profuse apologies had he overheard. “You survived the Blood Rite, I think you can handle a little venom.”

“Fine.”

Defiant, Nesta lowered it into her mouth in one go and crunched down, eyes watering at the potency. Her cheeks turned red at once, sweat beading at her brow, and she braced her hands on the edge of the table to suppress the cough he knew wanted to burst forth. Cassian watched her fight through the heat, her steel composure cracking when she gave in and fanned at her face, her open mouth, reaching to grip his hand for support when she swallowed at last. 

It was his favorite part, he supposed, when she clung to him to make it through. The same way her eyes searched for him habitually when she won a spar during training, when she flung her arm across their bed in the night to feel his form in the darkness. That despite being able to handle all of it on her own, Nesta wanted him along with her.

“Goodness,” she panted once she’d released his hand, brushing stray spice from her fingers. He watched the flush creep across her chest, entranced. “That wasn’t so bad, actually. I may go back for another. Though I doubt you’ll be saying the same.”

Her smile was wicked then, and Cassian couldn’t help but laugh when she looked pointedly at the jar still in front of him, at his fate in her hands. 

“So whose balls am I about to gag on?”

“The giant Sarnesian bat.” She smirked, silver rolling across her eyes once more. “And after that, mine.”

—-

They shared a sumptuous dinner under the fading sun, having somehow not lost their appetites after the horrors they’d inflicted upon each other, though the thick afternoon nap had likely helped. Nesta’s gaze grew heavier the longer it was locked on him across the table, her wintery eyes guarded, mouth drawn in the phantom of a smile.

“You’re quiet this evening, sweetheart,” he observed as he polished off a staggeringly good saffron-infused cake. The same yellow stained his wife’s tongue where it darted out to wet her lips.

“Just enjoying the view.”

“Is that so?”

Nesta hummed in answer, and Cassian felt his blood heat, rushing south as she looked back out at the vista. The room Helion always insisted they take had a wide open-air balcony with a view of Zlora’s rolling dunes, the horizon dotted with bonfires for the upcoming summer solstice. Pink-tipped roses climbed the balustrade, their scent rich in the night air, and music drifted on the breeze full of swirling flutes and deep drums. The High Lord of Day seemed to understand that ‘vacation’ for them meant ‘fucking where our family can’t interrupt us’, and always took their needs to heart.

A smile bloomed on his mate’s beautiful face, and Cassian couldn’t tear his eyes away from her as she breathed in deeply, limbs relaxed where she lounged in her chair. Nesta liked when he watched her, when she knew he was watching. A vision of their last trip to the capitol city rose in his mind, when she’d left their table to dance with another male, how she’d kept her eyes on him the whole time. How fucking crazy it drove him, how he’d worshiped her for hours after.

Nesta in the present stood slowly and moved to loom over him, caging him in with her arms. Cassian leaned back and smirked, dragging his gaze up and down her body appreciatively, possessively. She preened under his attention despite trying not to, her shoulders rolling back and down, and the spark set the game in motion again.

His voice was rough to his own ears when he spoke, low and arrogant. “Take off your clothes.”

Anger sparked across Nesta’s expression at the same time the scent of her arousal drifted over him. She looked defiant as one hand raised to the pin holding her gown at her shoulder, fingers toying with the clasp.

“That sounded an awful lot like an order again, General. You forget death answers to no one.”

“No one but you. Off.”

A shiver of pleasure ran through her and she obeyed, blue gossamer cascading to the floor. When he saw there was nothing underneath, Cassian was tempted to tug her to her knees by the long braid dangling down her back, to make her prove she never gagged. But he knew her well enough to see the ploy for what it was, how she hoped to compromise his self-control with her devastating beauty on full display.

It worked. Cassian ran reverent hands up her bare thighs, tracing the faint lines where she’d filled out over the years, struck dumb from wanting to taste them.

Mother save him.

“What’s the matter? Lost all your courage, sweetheart?” Nesta goaded. She ran her long, tantalizing fingers over the exposed lines of his chest, nails scratching in the hair at the center. Then her touch rounded the top of his shoulder, stretching toward where his wings met his back. 

“What do you think you’re doing, witch?”

Not wanting to be bested yet, Cassian snatched her arm and pulled her down onto him, intent on showing her just how brave he could be.

He couldn’t fucking get enough of her, wanted to drown in her as they tangled with her in his lap, spread out on the table, bent over the balcony railing. She fought his teasing the whole way, trying to stave off her orgasm, as if she knew he wanted to send her tumbling before him and refused to lose.

What she didn’t know was that was exactly his aim. For she was his favorite version when riled up, when I Will Slay My Enemies blended with I’m About To Rearrange Your World, Cassian and he was totally at her mercy no matter who was on top.

She was on her back in the pile of plush cushions now, muscles strained from staving off the high her body craved, nails clawing weakly at his arms. Up and down he wound her, watching as the silver misted at her fingertips, her magic unspooling as her sanity did. Nesta filled the room with glimmers of it, wisps of pleasure flung out, ghosting over his skin and she was everything, every thought in his brain, every drop of his blood.

Her eyelids fluttered pitifully when he gave a hard thrust and Cassian smirked down at her, at the deep flush creeping across her chest that told him she was close.

“Not so mouthy now, huh? Such a good girl when you’re getting what you want.”

“You insuf..ferable.. bat..”

“Go on, Nes, give in. You know you want to.”

“N-never,” Nesta stuttered, but she was speechless after that all the same, clinging tight as he moved deep within her. Something in her seemed to turn then, and he felt the hard squeeze of her thighs around him, eyes pleading when he pulled back. He slowed his pace and rubbed gentle circles into her hips, a question.

“Cassian,” she pleaded in answer, and he heard the edge in her voice, that long-lived wound, the fear of losing control. He leaned forward until their noses bumped, hair spilling over his shoulders to form a protective curtain around her face.

“I know, sweetheart, it’s okay. I’m here. I’ve got you.”

She relaxed beneath him at the same time her finger grazed his wing that was finally within her reach, rearranging his world.

He tipped over just a breath before her, and it felt like the exact moment his wings first caught the wind - suspension, a delicious weightlessness in the gap between flight and freefall. The sound of her moans washed over him a second later, her grip on his hair tight when he buried his face in her neck, tethering her to the earth.

And Cassian knew then, as he knew every time, that all wanted in this life was to take her here. To lift her up and up and up as many times as he could, to help her float, unburdened, even if it meant he was doomed to place second for the rest of his life.

“I won,” she panted once they floated down, and he laughed into the damp skin of her throat, felt her smile against his temple before she placed a kiss there. “Again.”

Nesta fell asleep almost immediately, as was her way, and Cassian watched how the moonlight spilled over her body until drowsiness dragged him under, too, thinking he’d never been happier to lose.

[praetorqueenreyna]

counterintelligence, Nesta/Eris, Eris Week Day 6: Modern AU

Please enjoy, this is just a goofy light-hearted fake dating modern AU. There is lots of Cassian slander tho.

@erisweek2023

Read here on AO3!!

”I need a favor.”

Eris stared at the text message in disbelief. It had come through several minutes ago, and he was no closer to puzzling out what it meant. Sure, people often asked him for favors. He was smart and rich and good at problem-solving. But those people were not usually Nesta Archeron.

After running through several dozen scenarios in his head, he finally texted her back.

”What?”

A nanosecond after the text registered as being delivered, the phone began to ring in his hand. “Nesta Archeron” flashed on the screen. Bemused, he answered the phone.

“Hello?”

Nesta got right down to business. “I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend for Elain’s wedding.”

It took a lot to truly surprise Eris, but that certainly did it. “I’m sorry, what?”

A huff of frustration, as if he were the one being vague and irritating. “Cassian and I broke up a month ago.”

Another surprise. A good one, if he was being honest. Eris had always fucking hated Cassian. They had grown up in the same social circles; Cassian had weaseled into Rhysand's friend group when they were children, and their families had been in the same industry for decades. Cassian maintained that Eris was a classist who disliked Cassian because he was poor. That wasn’t strictly true: Eris disliked Cassian because he was an asshole. But he had found that Cassian was sensitive about his class status, and so it was something Eris often mocked him for.

When he had met Nesta, he had had no idea what she had seen in Cassian. She was intelligent and biting, and he was a 20-something year old man that still acted like a college frat guy. Somehow they had managed to stay together for two years without either of them murdering each other.

“He’s the best man, and I’m the maid of honor,” Nesta continued. “And he’s bringing fucking Mor. I’d rather eat glass than go to this wedding by myself.”

Ah, Morrigan. Both Eris and Cassian had dated her briefly in the past, but only one of them had ever moved on. Whenever Eris saw the whole group together, he could sense the tension between Nesta and Mor from across the room. Christ. He wasn’t one who felt a lot of sympathy for others, but wow, Nesta had been royally screwed.

“That’s shitty, I’ll admit. What does any of that have to do with me?”

“Don’t play dumb, Eris. Cassian hates you. He’ll be furious when he sees you there. And I know you hate him too. You can’t tell me you don’t want to piss him off. I’ll even let you be the one to tell him we’re together.”

The offer was too good to refuse. There was almost nothing Eris would love nothing more than to look in Cassian’s big stupid face and tell him that he was with his ex. “Okay, I’ll do it.”

“Perfect. The wedding is in three days. Text me your address, I’ll pick you up at two.” With that, Nesta hung up on him. Eris stared at the dead phone in his hands, still trying to figure out what the fuck was going on.

Eris didn’t hear from Nesta for the rest of the week. He texted her once, to ask for the color of her dress so that he could buy a matching tie and pocket square. She sent him a close up of a patch of fabric that was dusty rose in color.

The day of the wedding arrived and Eris was weirdly nervous. Quite frankly, he didn’t know Nesta very well. He had met her a few times, and flirted with her to piss off Cassian. And now they were about to spend several hours together pretending to be dating. He forced himself to sit and read all morning, knowing that if he started getting ready he would spend several hours fidgeting in his suit and messing with his hair.

His doorbell rang at two on the dot. He opened the door to reveal Nesta, looking even more beautiful than he had remembered. Her hair was bound in an intricate crown of braids, and her mauve dress flowed loosely around her body, both hiding and revealing creamy skin in equal measure. He once again marveled that an oaf like Cassian had managed to keep her for more than fifteen minutes. She scanned him from head to toe, mouth pursed. “Hmm.”

“Is there a problem?” Eris asked, slightly offended. In his own unbiased opinion, he looked very dashing. His suit was immaculate; not a speck of dog hair marred the charcoal gray. He had found a tie that perfectly matched Nesta’s dress, and his shoes had been polished so they shone.

“It’s nothing.” Nesta turned away, clearly expecting Eris to follow her. He debated calling the whole thing off and slamming the door. But Nesta turned back, one hand on her car door, and Eris put together a dozen tiny details that he had missed when she was right in his face. Her mascara was smudged and her eyes were tinged red. The patch of fabric over her thigh was wrinkled from her twisting her hand into it. There was a semicircle of half-moon imprints on her left arm, as if she had dug the nails of her right hand into the flesh. Nesta was anxious and miserable and furious, all in one. And she had signed herself up to pretend to like him for several hours, which wasn’t going to make her feel much better.

Without a word, Eris slid into the passenger seat of her car.

“We reconnected two weeks ago. You came into my work, we started talking, and I gave you my number. We started dating a few days after that.” Nesta regaled him with their romantic history as she drove. Her eyes were glued to the road in front of her. The clipped, analytical tone actually put Eris more at ease. He could handle this. He was good at negotiations.

“Where do you work?”

“I’m a bartender at Rita’s.”

“Really?” Eris couldn’t hide his surprise. Nesta did not seem like someone well-equipped for customer service. Especially not when the customers were drunk and horny.

“Yes, really,” she snapped. “I’m in law school, and I needed a job that let me work nights, after classes.”

Once again, Eris was both impressed by Nesta and confused that she had been with Cassian for so long. How the fuck had that neanderthal captured her attention?

“Okay, that works. I’ve gone to Rita’s a few times.”

“I have a cat named Darcy. Elain got me into stupid reality TV shows and we watch the Bachelor together every year. I can cook, but I hate it, so we mostly eat out at the Thai place down the street.” Nesta’s cheeks pinkened, flustered over having to share even the most nonsensical details about her personal life. “That should be enough to get you through this wedding.”

She paused. Eris realized she was waiting for him to to return the favor, telling her just enough to get them through the reception without giving the game away. “I have four dogs. I still like going to the theaters to see new movies. I used to smoke, but I’m trying to quit.”

“What about work?”

“I’m the social media manager for my dad’s company.”

“What?” Nesta laughed, caught off guard. The corners of her eyes crinkled. Eris noticed for the first time that one of her front teeth was chipped. “Bullshit.”

Eris smiled despite himself. “I’m serious. I do all the brand awareness and brand imaging, but nowadays that’s mostly just social media. I try to convince the public that the company isn’t an evil corporation.”

“Is it?”

“Oh, definitely.”

Nesta laughed again. Eris could see himself becoming addicted to the sound. “Noted.”

The remainder of the drive passed quickly. They shared personal details back and forth, but with ease and warmth. It felt less like they were preparing each other for a trial and more that they were just getting to know each other. It was very much like a first date, if Eris were being honest.

Whatever camaraderie they had built up dissipated when Nesta pulled up in front of the wedding venue. He could practically see the steel wall shutting down, cutting her off from any potential heartbreak. “Are you ready?” she asked, cold and clipped. Without waiting for an answer, she got out of the car, barely waiting for him to follow her lead before she locked it and strode away.

Elain and Azriel were getting married in a cutesy old church, chosen more for its aesthetic than for any religious affiliation. The wedding was small; only a few dozen people were milling around the foyer, waiting for the ceremony to begin. It made it extremely easy to pick out Cassian, who was already glaring at them with his upper lip curled into a snarl. Eris maintained eye contact as he wrapped one arm around Nesta’s waist, his own expression carefully schooled in its usual smooth confidence. Nesta tensed under his touch, but when she caught Cassian staring she relaxed, pressing herself against Eris’s side. He delighted at the fury that flashed in Cassian’s eyes. Just as he was contemplating the pros and cons of kissing Nesta in front of him, a call went out that the wedding was about to begin, and would everybody please take their seats. With a cheeky wave to his glowering adversary, Eris followed Nesta into the main hall.

As soon as they entered the nave, Nesta was swept away with the rest of the bridal party, presumably to some staging area so they could prepare to walk down the aisle. Eris scanned the crowd, hoping for at least one person who didn’t hate him that he could sit with. He settled on his youngest brother, who was sitting near the back with his boyfriend, Tamlin. Eris settled next to Lucien, who visibly jumped at his appearance.

“What are you doing here?” Lucien asked. “Did I see you coming in with Nesta?”

“Yeah. It’s a long story, I’ll tell you later.” The familiar beginning notes of “Here Comes The Bride” resonated through the hall, forestalling any more questions. A procession began making its way down the center aisle. Eris could pick out a few people that he recognized, such as Feyre, Rhysand, and Mor. The maid of honor and best man walked down side by side. Both Nesta and Cassian were making an attempt to pretend everything was fine, but the resentment between them followed them like a dark cloud. It was a visible relief when they separated at the altar. Azriel was next, dashing as ever in his tailored suit. Last was the bride herself, accompanied by her father. Elain moved slowly, both for the benefit of the photographer and to make sure that her father, with his injured leg, could keep up.

The ceremony was fine. It was short, which Eris deeply appreciated. A lot of people were crying by the end of it. Eris didn’t know enough about Elain and Azriel to know if their marriage would last. His cynicism said it was unlikely. Besides, they were the least interesting thing on the altar. He found his gaze constantly drawn to Nesta. She watched her younger sister with a softness he had yet to see in her. A few times he caught her dabbing under her eyes with the pad of her finger, clearly trying to keep tears from ruining her eye makeup. A new wave of hatred for Cassian rose up in him, startling him. He had tried to ruin this for Nesta in the name of “winning” the breakup. Eris resolved to be as obnoxious as possible for the rest of the evening.

The reception was held behind the church. Dinner was served on the patio, and the garden was festooned with fairy lights. To Eris’s delight, being the date of the maid of honor meant sitting at the same table as the entire wedding party, most of whom despised him. The looks he received ranged from abject disgust (Cassian and Rhysand) to plain suspicion (Mor and Feyre). The only people who didn’t seem to care about him were Feyre’s wife, Lena, and Rhysand’s date, a smirking red-headed woman.

“Lovely ceremony,” Eris said brightly, breaking through the tension that his presence caused at the table. He stretched out his arms, resting one against the back of Nesta’s chair. Nesta, in turn, leaned back so her shoulders were pressed against his forearm.

“It was,” Feyre agreed. She opened her mouth to say more, but Cassian interrupted her.

“What are you doing here?” he demanded.

Eris raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t it obvious? I’m my girlfriend’s plus one.”

“Uh huh,” Cassian replied, unconvinced. “What’s your angle?”

That got a chuckle out of Eris. “I don’t have some evil master plan. I’m just here to enjoy the party. Be the arm candy.” He brushed his fingers across Nesta’s cheek, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Not that anyone is looking at me when I’m next to this gorgeous woman.”

Nesta gave him an odd look, and for a moment Eris feared he had overstepped the bounds of their fake relationship. Then she smiled and looked down, the perfect picture of a flattered partner. It was cute, almost cute enough to be able to ignore Cassian’s scowling.

“How long have you two been together?” Mor cut in, a pleasant smile pasted on her face.

“Only a couple weeks.” Eris nodded towards Mor and Cassian. “What about you?”

The smile was gone. “About the same.”

“Odd. I could have sworn you two have been on and off again for years,” Eris drawled. “I’m sure it’ll stick this time.”

Now both Mor and Cassian looked like they wanted to kill him. “Seriously Nes, what the fuck are you doing with him?” Cassian growled. “Is this just to piss me off?”

“Shockingly, who I choose to date has nothing to do with you,” Nesta responded. “And don’t call me that.”

“Nes, come on—”

“Stop it!” she hissed, trying to keep her voice down. “You stopped being allowed to tell me what to do when you cheated on me with her.” She didn’t need to gesture towards Mor to indicate who exactly she was talking about. Every time Eris thought he couldn’t get more annoyed, he was proven wrong. The sheer nerve for Cassian to actually cheat on Nesta, and then act like Nesta was in the wrong for bringing Eris? The fact that he was only here to cause drama didn’t seem relevant. Cassian deserved everything that was coming to him.

Nesta deliberately turned in her seat to strike up a conversation with Feyre. As she did, she intertwined one of her hands with one that Eris had been resting on the table. In full view of everyone, she raised their entangled hands to her mouth and pressed her lips against his knuckles. She moved casually, as if the display of affection were subconscious. A woman reaching out to her partner for reassurance. She was a much better actor than Eris would ever have given her credit for.

Dinner seemed to pass at an excruciatingly slow pace. Eris was hyper aware that Cassian was watching their every move. Nesta was all over him: a hand on his shoulder while she whispered in his ear, playing with the tips of his hair in between courses, using her thumb to wipe away crumbs from the corner of his mouth. It was difficult for Eris to focus on the conversation when he was surrounded by Nesta’s soft touches and the savory scent of her perfume. The temptation to bury his face in her neck and inhale deeply was overwhelming. He distracted himself by talking, engaging with almost everyone at the table. He couldn’t give a rat’s ass about these people, but he knew how to turn on the charm when it was required. And seeing steam come out of Cassian’s ears as Eris joked with his friends made it all worth it.

Finally, finally, they got through dinner and cake, toasts and first dances. Pop music pumped through the speakers, and everybody vacated the tables in favor of the dance floor. With a minute to themselves, Eris leaned in towards Nesta. “How am I doing?”

“Fantastic. I’ve never seen Cassian so furious.”

Eris preened at the praise, but the smirk slid off his face when he caught Nesta staring wistfully at the dance floor. Cassian and Mor were wrapped up in each other’s arms, giggling. “Are you okay?” he asked.

“I’m fine,” Nesta lied. She scrabbled for her purse that was draped over the back of her chair. “We can go. You’ve done more than enough for me.”

“We don’t have to.” Eris didn’t know why he was arguing. He wouldn’t gain anything by staying. But if they left now, Nesta would drop him off and then go home and sulk, and he’d never see her again. “I don’t want to go.”

“Eris,” Nesta huffed. “Stop fucking around.”

“I’m not.” He rose to his feet and took Nesta’s hand in his. “I want to dance.”

“Are you serious?”

“Dead serious.” For the first time ever, Eris was grateful that his parents had made him take dance lessons. He twirled Nesta under his arm, causing her to shriek in surprise. When he spun her back to him, she was grinning. She had clearly had formal dance training as well; she matched him effortlessly, falling into step even when he shifted dance styles and moves. She was his favorite kind of dance partner, the kind who could read his body language and predict what he was going to do, and match him perfectly. It resulted in an effortless, elegant dance that looked like a choreographed routine. It was likely that the rest of the wedding had formed a circle around them, applauding and shouting encouragement instead of dancing themselves. He couldn’t say for sure, because he couldn’t take his eyes off of Nesta. She was the embodiment of grace, her dress whirling around her like rosy wings. Her brow was furrowed in concentration, but she was laughing, free as a bird.

The song ended and Eris lowered Nesta in a dramatic dip. Her hands, which were around the back of his neck, tugged his head down to meet hers. She crashed their lips together, and Eris’s brain short-circuited. A live wire of electricity shot down his body, almost startling him into dropping her. He had heard people talk about experiencing fireworks when they kissed, but this was beyond that. This was a lightning storm, consuming him from the inside out and leaving him starving for more.

One of the greatest moments of Eris’s life was rudely interrupted by Feyre grabbing Nesta and jerking her away from him. “Elain wants to to take some pictures in the garden, just the three of us,” she explained. Nesta allowed herself to be dragged away, shooting him an annoyed glance over her shoulder. Eris consciously refrained from touching his lips with his fingers in the wake of the kiss, like some kind of goddamn Victorian era romance heroine. It was all a show, nothing more. Nesta only kissed him as a ploy to aggravate her ex. Not because she liked him.

The ploy worked a little too well, judging by the way Cassian was staring at him, as if hoping he would spontaneously burst into flames. Eris’s smug grin got a lot less smug when the larger man began to actually stride towards him across the dance floor. An actual confrontation wasn’t part of the plan.

“Whatever game you think you’re playing with Nes, you better stop before she gets hurt,” Cassian rumbled.

It took all of Eris’s willpower to not take a step back. Cassian was a foot taller than him, and twice as broad. “Of the two of us, I’m not the one who’s been playing games with Nesta,” he replied, his eyes sliding meaningfully over to Mor.

Cassian’s eyes flashed. “You don’t know anything about me, asshole. I still care about her.”

“Sure. I guess caring about her means that you’re allowed to move on and she isn’t.”

“Go fuck yourself.”

High on the adrenaline of the verbal match, Eris couldn’t help but goad him further. “I understand why you’re mad. Nesta was always too good for you. I’m guessing you wanted her to pine after you and stay single so you can go crawling back when Mor inevitably dumps your idiotic, inbred—”

Before Eris could say “ass,” and finish his devastating insult, his head exploded in pain. It was like someone had hit him in the face with a brick, knocking him to the ground and leaving him gasping for air. His vision cleared and revealed Cassian standing over him, still brandishing a curled fist. Somebody in the crowd screamed and a clamor of voices went up, but all Eris could focus on was the fact that Cassian was about to beat him to death.

“What the fuck?” Like a guardian angel, Nesta had returned just in time. She shoved her way through the crowd and crouched down next to him. He gave her his most charming smile, which was somewhat compromised by the fact that he was pretty sure his nose was broken and blood was dripping out of his mouth.

“He—” Cassian started to defend himself, but Nesta whirled around and shoved him in the chest. He stumbled back, more from shock than the push itself.

“Get out of here. And if you ever try to talk to me again, I’ll fucking kill you.” Nesta’s rage was a physical force. Even Cassian wasn’t stupid enough to defy her. He shut his mouth and stormed off. Nesta turned back to Eris, her hands gripping his wrists like iron shackles as she hauled him to his feet. Holy shit, she was strong. “Let’s get out of here,” she said, to him and only him, ignoring the rest of the gaping wedding party. Eris was more than happy to follow her out of the main hall and away from so many incriminating stares.

Nesta led him to the small room where the bridal party had gotten ready before the ceremony. Empty bottles of wine were scattered around, and a confusing mix of perfume scents hung in the air. She guided him to a chair, instructed him to stay put, and disappeared. Eris slumped over, completely exhausted but still buzzing with energy. Nesta returned with a stack of fluffy white towels she had managed to berate one of the staff members into giving her. She bent over Eris, wiping the blood from his face. He hissed when the towel touched his nose, sending a blinding bolt of pain through him. Nesta paused, then resumed her work with a lighter touch.

“I’m sorry,” she said. The tightness in her voice revealed that that wasn’t a phrase she said often. “This was a stupid idea. I shouldn’t have let things get that far.”

“It’s fine,” Eris waved it off. “You might be shocked to learn that this isn’t the first time I’ve been punched in the face.”

The twitch of her mouth into a brief smile filled Eris with light, and suddenly his face didn’t hurt so bad. “Well, I’m still sorry. I dragged you into this and I’ve been a bitch all day.”

“No you haven’t.” Nesta snorted, and Eris corrected himself. “Okay, you have. But I get it. I’ve done a lot worse over a lot less.”

Nesta pinched together a corner of the towel that wasn’t yet covered in blood and meticulously wiped around his nostrils. She was leaning close enough that he could feel her breath on his cheek. “This was all so stupid. I hate how much I let him hurt me, even now.”

“Are you still in love with him?”

Her surprised snort answered him before she responded. “No, of course not.” The towel dragged across Eris’s mouth and chin. His face should be clean by now. “It just sucks how much of my life is still about him. I can’t get away from him. He’s dug in, like a tick. If I want to have a relationship with my sisters, I have to deal with him. And he is such an asshole.”

“Yeah, I could have told you that years ago.” Eris worked up the nerve to ask the question he had been wanting to ask for ages. “Why were you with him for so long?”

Nesta sighed. “I don’t know. It wasn’t all bad. And when it was, I figured that’s what I deserved.”

“That’s stupid.” Maybe it was the blood loss, the blow to the head, the adrenaline. Maybe he was still reeling from their fake kiss. But his mouth kept moving and words kept pouring out. “You’re so cool and smart and beautiful. You deserve, like, a tech billionaire who is also an astronaut who is also a model.”

At that, Nesta laughed, low and husky. She studied him with clear gray eyes, only inches from his face. “Well, if you know any tech billionaires-slash-astronauts-slash-models, you can introduce me.” She carelessly dropped the bloodied towel on the ground and straightened up, pulling Eris to his feet. “Are you finally ready to leave?”

The ride back to Eris’s house was in companionable silence. Nesta had led Eris by the hand through the main reception area, ignoring all the people who tried to stop her and ask what had happened. Oddly enough, she seemed in a better mood now, and Eris didn’t want to ruin it. She walked him to his front door and he dallied unlocking it, unsure if inviting her inside would be taken well and not wanting to scare her off.

“Well that was…” Eris trailed off, searching in vain for a polite description of the evening. “Terrible.” Nesta chuckled, which he took as a good sign. “But it wasn’t all bad. Let me know if you want to piss anyone else off.”

Nesta hummed thoughtfully. “You know, there’s a really shitty barista at the coffee shop on campus. I bet you could make him cry in less than five minutes.”

Eris’s heartbeat quadrupled. Unless he was mistaken, that sounded like a coffee date. “Yeah? I’d be down for that.”

Nesta grinned and leaned forward, pressing her cool lips against his cheek. “Great. I’ll call you.”

With a hand on his cheek, he watched Nesta get in her car and drive away until she was completely out of sight.

[shadowqueenjude]

Who pulls the most guys???

Damn this one is tough ngl. Most of the sjm ladies hold the men by the balls🤔. but here we go: Gets next to none: Lidia Cervos- only bc of that ass Pollux. She rizzed Ruhn while still in a relationship tho so that has to count for something. Ansel of Briarcliff- Honestly I keep forgetting she exists so she’s in this category. Ariadne- being imprisoned in jewelry for years kind of keeps you from pulling anyone. She pulled Flynn within 5 seconds of release tho. Gets a few: Lysandra- Honestly she’s so low on this list bc she had to shapeshift in order to pull anyone. Also she chose Aedion. Sorry, but really? You could’ve chosen literally anyone else, why would you choose the basic blonde? Gets quite a few: Manon- she’d get more but the whole man-eating thing is kind of a turn-off for most guys. Not our murderous king Dorian tho. Nesryn- she was the second-place girl until she got a crown prince panting after her. Queen shit. Gets many: Yrene- she had Kashin following her around like a lost puppy, AND she pulled our resident girl-rizzer Chaol mfing Westfall. In a few months too. Morrigan- She doesn’t get as many bitches as she’d like, but unfortunately for her she pulls many guys like Cassian, Azriel, and Helion. The Elites: Celaena Sardothien/Aelin Galathiniyus- somehow the murderous thing doesn’t put people off as much as it should. It put Chaol off (a little bit) but he still fell in love, poor boy. Sam, Dorian, Chaol, Rowan. That’s a lot. Bryce Quinlan/Danaan- I put her slightly above Aelin bc she’s had so many partners, she doesn’t have the murderous thing to put people off, AND she rizzed Ithan unintentionally in like 5 seconds. Nesta Archeron: She had Cassian, Azriel, Helion, and Eris panting after her like dogs. In record time too. Despite doing her very best to put them off. Feyre Archeron: I mean she rizzed up three high lords. Enough said.😂 Top tier: Elain Archeron: Something about having the male pining after another girl for 500 years develop an unhealthy obsession with you, having the number 1 bitch magnet be pining after you, his mate, and having the literal CAULDRON be in love with you, with a bitchy older sister ready to kill and whore for you is just guy-pulling behavior. There’s just something about her. She’s mysterious, it draws you in. You want to know more. Why are they so protective of her? Points deducted for Graysen rejecting her tho. Elide Lochan: Come on, we all knew it was coming. Elide is number 1 without a doubt. Elide came out of a tower and walked the entire court of Terrasen+ the Thirteen like DOGS. She could pull almost anyone if she tried hard enough.

[unmotivated-artist164]

ACOSF

Ok so I'm finally forcing my bitch ass to start 'A Court of Silver Flames', and I'll be updating my thoughts as I read.

ACOSF SPOILERS

Current thoughts:

-Nesta, babes, you need to handle your trauma better. Racking up the Night Courts money on gambling and booze?? Darlin same, but no-

-AND STOP RUBBING IT INTO CASSIANS FACE HOW YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH RANDOM MEN, OMFG 💀

-Cassian is still my baby, OMG, I would treat him so right. Getting the Illyrians in line while training Nesta, AND being promoted to a courtier? Get that promotion, batty.

-Feyre is finally getting a bloody backbone against Nesta, I love it. She's High Lady now with her happy ending, perfect husband/mate, trying to have a baby, she's got it all. And now she has a true family after all the BULLSHIT you put her through, Nesta.

-RHYS PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE, WE GET IT. YOU HAVE A PRETTY WIFE, QUIT RUBBING IT IN POOR CASS'S FACE 😭

-Nesta is gonna murder someone. That's it.

"On any other female those magnificent breasts might have been enough cause for him to begin courting her the moment he met her." -Cassian

-Cass, quit commenting on Nesta's tits, we get it. You like them.

-Amren being worried about Nesta???? Are we just gonna glaze past this???

-Istfg if Feyre gets knocked up when Rhys sends the servants away after addressing Nesta, I'm gonna scream.

"Incase you have a bad dream and needs someone to read you a story," he drawled, a half smile dancing on his face. "Maybe one of those smutty books you like so much." -Cassian

-Cassian calling Nesta out on her smutty books is my new roman empire.

Ok that should be all for now <333

[nikethestatue]

It does feel like shippers are the only ones left in the fandom who are actually looking forward to what SJM does next. The rest of the fandom behaves as if they are hate reading this series and at this point I think they very much are. The negativity isn't just around Elain, people seem to hate Feyre with a passion too now, which was genuinely shocking to me. I thought she was a fairly loved character so was Feysand as a ship but the loudest voices in the fandom seem to be of people that don't like them? Everyone is a hater of everyone now. I don't get it. I guess it's because the fandom discourse centered around nesta for so long and her fandom seems to be very hateful towards anyone who isn't her. Most of the elain hate I see comes from the pro-nesta side. She gets called a bitch, selfish, manipulative and an "ungrateful" sister by her stans which is crazyyy to me I'd thought feyre stans would hate her because of the time in cabin but... WHAT DID SHE DO TO NESTA???? WHAT? And where are the og feysand stans? I think they liked Elain or Elriel or at least weren't as hateful towards her. They seem to have dipped after acowar dropped which is valid lol they got everything why stay now? It is sad tho that SJM's og fans just left and now all she has is a fickle and unpredictable TikTok crowd and people who are just hate reading her books.

Yah...every character is hated now.

Back when I joined, no one would be hating on Cassian and Azriel, they were pretty much safe bets. Same with Feyre. Rhys was always too contentious to be loved by everyone, but now, every single person is hated. Poor Elain's been hated since the very beginning.

I think certain segments and certain ships take all this WAY too seriously. Like way way too seriously, taking it to places where these books aren't supposed to go. Stupid stuff like 'Rhys runs an apartheid state' using fancy words like 'intersectionality' and creating more drama between Rhys and Nesta than SJM ever did. Just because Nesta does not like Rhys, doesn't mean he is the devil, and vice versa, because he doesn't like her, doesn't mean she is plotting to murder him and take over.

I have issues with SJM's writing and her lack of consistency and plot holes, but I still love 99% of the characters. Even when they behave badly. It's okay, we should be able to handle imperfect characters who do imperfect things.

I've disliked the same 2 characters since the very beginning. Nothing's changed. And no one's been really added to the list, because i personally like the clashes, the personalities, the dramatics. That's why I read. Everyone acting properly and with dignified resolve is really not what I am super interested in.

[blue-mint-winter]

Some more thoughts about ep 1 of Andir because my criticism of “boring” needs a bit more elaboration.

Yes, they were introducing the characters. That’s a good way to start. However, did they do it efficiently? Did they characterize them in an interesting way, using visual storytelling and good dialogue? That’s what I think wasn’t executed particularly well and caused my criticism of “boring”.

Let’s take for example Karn (police guy) - we meet him when he talks to his superior officer about the murders. He wants to find out who killed them and then superior officers explains to him from A to Z that they will be covering it up, how and why. That’s called exposition dump. Also makes me wonder why the superior would feel that he has to explain himself and his reasons in detail to a subordinate. Wouldn’t it be better to concentrate more on Karn’s feelings and reactions. Maybe show him find the bodies or investigate or speculate or find out why his superior wants to cover it up? Just do anything to make the audience feel engaged with this character instead of listening to overly long explanation from his boss.

Here’s an example of inefficient storytelling - Cassian’s friend, I can’t remember his name, but he was the guy Cassian came up to and made up a big, elaborate lie about what he was doing the night before. Turns out this part and his introduction in this way was completely unnecessary because they never use that lie. The guy doesn’t interact with anyone in a meaningful way. After 3 eps this scene and character introduction felt like a waste of time.

Bix and Timm - these characters are just masters of bland lines and looking awkwardly at each other. Bix is doing shady business with Cassian and Timm is jealous so he snitches on Cassian to the police. The way this storyline is handled is just very poor, like some sort of a forced triangle that only exists in Timm’s mind. There are multiple ways to make this situation more interesting, like actually making them talk to each other about the issue. Why is Timm thinking there’s something going between Bix and Cassian that isn’t a shady deal? Does he know about her shady deals? Maybe he could think that doing business with Cassian is just dangerous which would give him a more justified reason to dislike Cassian.

Another way to make Timm more interesting could be to create some doubt about who snitched on Cassian. They introduced the guy who wanted Cassian to pay his debt. This character introduction also went nowhere, as it only showed that Cassian owes money to people and doesn’t pay. If the show takes time to introduce so many new characters, it should just use them more than for only one thing. If there was a question who snitched - Timm or the guy who wanted money (for example if there was a monetary reward for giving info on Cassian) - it could make the show more interesting.

Instead we got Timm and Bix spewing bland lines at Cassian and each other. Then in ep 2 she comes to Timm’s place for implied sex and in the morning after asks for caf. Pinnacle of romance and writing. Ultimately it was meaningless, because we already knew they’re in a relationship, so implying they went to bed together adds nothing. It’s superfluous.

I stated it in a much shorter way in my reaction post to ep 1 - there was a lack of tension in this show and ep 1 and partially 2 suffered for it. Also doing a certain set-up (like with Cassian’s friend and a lie) should be followed up with a pay off and if that doesn’t happen - it needs to be cut out or reworked. The writing and character introductions were inefficiently done and that’s mostly why I found ep 1 and parts of ep 2 boring.

[unhealthyfanobsession]

Ok so I know with this prompt you probably meant modern AU, they get drunk and do something dumb, but I went a… different direction. Hope everyone enjoys!

Mor’s face was a mixture of rage and concern. Cassian’s barely concealed amusement, Azriel’s, as usual, was pure murder.

“Let them out,” Azriel growled, eyes sweeping over Gwyn quickly to make sure she wasn’t hurt. She flashed him a nervous little smile to let him know she was fine. It did soften his expression, but only someone who knew him very well would have seen the change.

“I-“ the poor guard looked like he was about to wet himself. He was a large man, clad in scary looking blood red armour, twin curved blades that Nesta had learned the hard way were not just for show, strapped to his hips.

But there wasn’t a warrior in Prythian who wouldn’t find their tongue held in knots and their bladder weakened by Cassian or Azriel. So having both of them staring him down as he tried to uphold his High Lord’s orders? Nesta almost felt sorry for him.

“I’m not surprised you did it,” Cassian taunted his mate from the other side of the barbaric dungeon bars. “I’m just surprised you got caught. We’ll have to get you ladies on some more cardio in the training ring.” He clicked his tongue, “slow warriors tend to end up dead.”

“We aren’t slow,” Nesta glared at Cassian. “He snuck up on us.”

“And why was he able to do that?”

“This isn’t a training session,” Mor scolded. “My wife is behind bars! Are you alright?” She tried to reach her hand through the slats to grasp Emerie’s hand, but a spell zapped her backwards.

“Everything is training,” Nesta said. “Cassian’s right. We shouldn’t have gotten caught.”

“Bullshit,” Gwyn snapped. “We did everything exactly right. If that coward hadn’t cut you from behind-”

“You did WHAT?!” Cassian growled, voice low and dangerous as he lodged his forearm hard up against the Dawn Court soldier’s throat. The man clawed at Cassian’s thick bicep, feet kicking out in protest at being hauled off the ground.”

“Didnt-“ he gasped out a few strangeld words that he had to repeat a number of times before they were heard, “know- who- she - was-“

“I don’t care what you knew,” Cassian growled. “Striking an opponent, especially a female, from behind is the most cowardly, dishonourable thing a soldier can do. If you were Illyrian I’d bind your wings for a month and put you in the ring with my best fighters every day to beat the-”

“Some of us manage your best fighters with our wings bound just fine,” Emerie sung from behind Cassian, to cut through the tension.

“Right,” Cassian nodded once towards his fellow Carynthian. Grip loosening ever so slightly. “No offence meant, Em.”

“None taken,” she shrugged. “But your male territorialities aren’t going to get us home any quicker. And I’d like to take a hot bath,” she said with a suggestive wink at Mor.

“I’m only going to ask this one more time,” Azriel’s tone was every bit as terrifying as Cassian’s grip. “Let. Them. Go.”

“Peace, Spymaster.” A deep timbre filled the dark space, light bouncing off of the High Lord of Dawn as he entered. “Cornelius was only doing his job. Hierarchies are not so strict here as they are in the Night Court. If someone is found in a place they should not be, they are apprehended until I am available to assess the situation. No one walks free because of their family name.”

“Your territory would not be free to walk through if it were not for Nesta Archeron,” Azriel said on a low voice.

“A touch dramatic, friend.”

“We are not friends until you release my mate from that cage.” Of course, seeing Gwyn in a dark dungeon must be one of the worst things Azriel could ever imagine. His worst fear. That after all she had suffered on her own, she would be made to suffer what he went through as a child.”

“I’m alright, my love.” Gwyn said softly, eyes trained on Azriel. “There is no loneliness or darkness while I am with my sisters.”

“If they had split you up he would be dead already,” Azriel glared at Cornelius.

“What are they charged with?” Cassian stepped forward, chest puffed out.

“At ease, General,” Thesan waved a hand. “I have no interest in further detaining any war heroes or reveared scholars this evening.”

Emerie cleared her throat loudly.

Thesan grinned, “or the Lieutenant of Illyria.”

“Imagine my relief,” Emerie deadpanned.

“What did they do, though?” Mor asked, eyes wary.

“They tried to steal this,” Thesan held up a vile of white powder. “A new invention. I’d only told Helion about it, but-”

“Helion loves to find an excuse to drop in on my mate,” Cassian rolled his eyes. “What is it?”

“A silencing powder,” Thesan said. “I was inspired by Rhys’ little show at the High Lord’s meeting all those years ago. As you can see, it took decades to replicate the effect.”

Cassian, Azriel, and Mor all turned to their wives at the same time.

“We were going to put it in Rhys’ tea on Solstice morning,” Gwyn smiled widely.

The entire dungeon erupted in laughter.

“In that case,” Thesan waved a hand and the bars flung open. He tossed the vile to Gwyn who caught it easily. “You could have just asked.”

“But wasn’t this more fun?” Emerie grinned.

“Oh yeah,” Cornelius huffed from the corner. “It was a partly.

“Your leg,” Cassian ran to Nesta’s side as if the man had reminded him his mate was injured.

“It wasn’t deep,” Nesta swatted him away. “Just made it hard to run.”

“Still,” Cassian hooked one arm under her legs and lifted her easily into his arms, “I better take care of you until it’s perfectly healed.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead. Nesta hit him again.

“I’m going to throw up,” Emerie deadpanned, even as Mor snaked an arm around her waist and pressed a kiss against her cheek.

“This doesn’t mean we aren’t still mad at you,” Cassian said, carrying Nesta into the Dawn sunset. “I am pissed that you would try to torture Rhys without me. Doing that together is practically a part of our vows!”

“Romantic,” Azriel deadpanned. Gwyn laughed as he scooped her into his arms and both couples took to the sky, Mor winnowing quickly away with Emerie.

[steddielvr]

emotional outburst

azriel x reader (acotar)

warnings: periods, angst (?), fluff

word count: 1253

summary/request: may i request an azriel x reader where she’s on her period but she’s fae so it’s obviously much harder to cope with? azriel doesn’t know she’s on it and she accidentally snaps at him and he leaves, hurt and wondering what he did, and the reader feels guilty? But they make up at the end? thank you! From anon

a/n: hi, thank you so much for requesting, i loved this one so much! i hope you enjoy it too <333

Azriel sat at the dinner table with the other members of the Inner Circle, picking at his food, clearly troubled. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he missed the concerned glances thrown his way by his family, confused at his uncharacteristic distraction and at your lack of presence at the meal.  

Meanwhile, the Illyrian was racking his brain for any potential things he could have done or said that would have led to your outburst earlier that morning. 

He had awoken before you, as he did most mornings, and had left you to rest with a delicate kiss on your head whilst he went and prepared some breakfast for you. You were already awake when he returned and at the sight of him and the tray filled with food balanced in his scarred hands, you had burst into tears and ran to the bathroom, locking yourself inside. He had panicked, gently setting the tray on the bed, before making his way to the locked door, attempting to speak softly to you through it. Most of your response was incoherent through your sniffles and sobs, but he had understood you asking him for some space. He had obliged immediately, not wanting his presence to make you even more distressed, and had gone outside to train alone. 

He had stayed there for the majority of the day, not trusting himself to be back at the house and not disturb you. Since returning when Feyre called him down for dinner, he had not seen you once and was even more troubled by your absence from the meal. His mind was whirring, instantly fearing the worst case scenarios.

What if he had said something to upset you? What if he had unknowingly hurt you during your activities the night prior? What if you had awoken and finally realised what he had feared you would since the minute the two of you discovered you were mates: that he was worthless, just a bastard born Illyrian, with horrid scars from his past and who murdered and tortured people for a living? That he was someone so utterly undeserving of your love? 

“Az?” He was broken from his thought spiral by Feyre’s concerned voice calling for him, tilting his head up to look at her in surprise. “Are you alright?”

“Yes, of course. Apologies, I’ve got a lot on my mind.” he responded, giving her a barely there, sheepish smile in the hopes of reassuring her.

“Is Y/N feeling better? Poor girl, of course she isn’t. She must be feeling horrible.” Mor chimed in, pouting sympathetically.

Azriel’s attention snapped to the blonde, eyebrows furrowing as he sat up straighter.

“What do you mean?” he asked, glancing between Mor and Feyre as they shared a look. “Why would she be feeling horrible? Is she alright?”

“She’s on her period, Az. Cauldron, brother, even I knew that.” Cassian chuckled, shaking his head at Azriel’s obliviousness as he took another sip of his drink. 

Realisation dawned on Azriel, your emotional outburst making complete sense to him now. He cursed himself for not recognising the signs sooner and for having left you alone all day with nothing but your pain and uncomfort. He stood abruptly from his chair, thanking Feyre briefly for the dinner, before rushing to the stairs and making his way to your shared room. 

Upon opening the door, his heart broke at the sight of you curled up in a ball, head buried into the pillows as your hand pressed hopelessly against your stomach. Shame settled in on him for being so oblivious and not being there for you in your time of need.

Your eyes reluctantly flutter open at the sound of the door opening and shutting, widening when they land on him. You slowly unfurl yourself, groaning slightly as you move to sit up, not taking your eyes off of your mate for a second.

“I know you said you wanted space…” Azriel starts, avoiding your gaze as he glances nervously around the room. “So, if you’d like me to leave, then please just-“

“No..” you whisper, cutting him off, the slight pleading in your voice gaining his attention. “I’m so sorry, Azriel. I never should have said that to you or reacted the way I did. You did nothing but be your usual, considerate self but you know how I get.” you continue, voice wavering as you begin to tear up, guilt overcoming you at the vulnerability evident on the shadowsinger’s face. “Oh, Az, I’m so sorry.” 

He reacts before he even realises what he is doing, heart aching at the sadness and fear radiating from you down the bond, feeling only the urge to comfort you. He quickly settles himself on the bed beside you before gently grasping you by the waist and pulling you into his lap. You instantly wrap your arms tightly around his shoulders, burying your face into his neck as one of his hands comes up to hold your quivering head in place, the other running soothingly up and down your back.

“It’s okay, my love. I’m here now, I’m here. You have nothing to apologise for.” he promises, pressing multiple kisses to the crown of your head. “I should’ve known what this week was, it’s my fault.”

You shake your head, pulling back slightly to look him in the eye. 

“No, don’t say that. I snapped at you and I shouldn’t have. It’s my fault, not yours.” you murmur, Azriel’s eyebrows furrowing in concern as he moves his hands up to cup your face.

“Let’s just agree that it’s nobody’s fault, alright? Nobody but that period of yours.” he smiles fondly at you, eyes brightening when he notes your visible relaxation at his light tone.

“I hate being a woman.” you pout, earning a chuckle from your mate, resulting in a small smile of your own which quickly drops as a wave of pain hits you. 

Azriel frowns as your face contorts into an expression of pure discomfort, a small pulse of pain echoing down the bond. He coos softly at you, moving one large hand down to rest over your back, an area he knows to be the cause of some of your worst cramps. You sigh softly as the warmth from his palm seeps into your skin, relieving the ache momentarily as you slump against him. 

He smiles, pride sparking within him at his ability to ease your suffering with the maimed hands which he believed would only ever be the cause of people’s suffering. He tilts his head ever so slightly, pressing a delicate kiss to each of your cheeks, followed by one on your nose and then, finally, one on your lips.

You sigh contently against him, his smile widening before he nudges your head back against his shoulder, reaching down to the foot of the bed for the blanket resting there. He brings it up over the two of you, adjusting himself into a more comfortable position. 

He now lay back against the headrest, with you settled comfortably in his lap, legs curled up on either side of him. He rubs soothing circles into the small of your back, his free hand coming up to run through your hair.

“Sleep now, darling. I’ll be here when you awake.” he says, resting his head on top of your own as you relax further into his embrace.

“You promise?” you mumble against his skin, eyelids already heavy as his hands lull you to sleep.

“Always.”

[ncssian]

A Favor: Part Twenty-Two

Nessian Modern AU

Masterlist

content warnings: secondhand embarrassment, i dont know how skiing works, poor editing, NSFW 🔥

***

To Nesta’s horror, Cassian was serious when he said he’d teach her how to ski. Nevermind the fact that it’s his birthday, and they should be having a lazy morning together filled with cuddles and breakfast in bed. Instead, they’ve been up since six in the morning without food or drink, just to shuffle around in the snow while Cassian repeats the same instructions over and over. By late morning, the rest of their group has gotten up and joined them at the beginner’s trail to be firsthand witnesses to Nesta’s humiliation.

She stares down at the blinding white slope before her and inhales a breath of frigid mountain air, trying to steel her nerves before she has to push off the ground and take flight.

Cassian sees her hesitation and sighs. “Come on, Nesta,” he urges. “It’s thirty feet to the bottom of the hill.”

“Why is it so steep?” she demands, even though she knows this is a practice hill. Toddlers in skis are shuffling around them, hand in hand with their parents.

“You’re not falling to the bottom,” Cassian says, growing impatient. “You’re gliding.”

He’s already shown her how to maneuver with skis a dozen times already, and Nesta can see that he doesn’t have another dozen times left in him. Unfortunately for him, Nesta’s own patience was used up hours ago. Her stomach pangs with hunger, and she has a pounding headache from the cold and lack of sleep.

“Oh, come on, Nesta,” Gwyn calls from behind her. She hops up and down in her snow boots like a cheerleader. “You can do it!”

Nesta does not want to do it. She looks down at the hill, then back at Cassian with pleading eyes—eyes that he can’t see under her ski goggles anyway.

“I can’t take this anymore,” Azriel mutters from somewhere. He picks up his ski poles and points to Emerie. “Ski lift?”

“Sure—” she starts to say, and then remembers that she’s here to support Nesta. “Not now,” she amends.

“Just go,” Cassian turns to tell them. “At least some of us will be having fun.” Nesta watches as he goes over to Emerie and Az to give advice on the trails, the same frustration from last night building in her chest.

Stupid ski trip. Stupid uninvited guests. Stupid birthday that Cassian isn’t even treating like a birthday.

Gritting her teeth, Nesta jabs her ski poles into the ground. She’ll conquer this hill, and then she’ll conquer the rest of the trail, and then she’ll take her skis and set them on fire.

With everyone briefly preoccupied and no eyes on her, Nesta pushes herself downhill. Her skis slip a little as she takes off but she readjusts her feet the way Cassian showed her, regaining control. She takes a deep breath, realizing the height isn’t as scary as she thought it would be. Testingly, she bends her knees and pushes herself farther, gaining speed.

“Oh, oh, look!” she hears Gwyn say from behind her. “She’s doing it!”

The voice breaks Nesta out of her precarious concentration, and she almost misses the kid right in front of her skiing at the pace of a turtle. Gasping, Nesta swerves at the last second to avoid running him over.

Her skis clack into each other and she feels her ankle twist, and then she’s down. Hard. Her face meets snow and her ski gear jabs into her body as she tumbles down the rest of the hill, until she finally meets flat ground and rolls to a painful stop.

Nesta only hears a dull roar in her ears as she slowly pushes herself upright. Ignoring alarmed looks from stray skiers around her, she reaches forward and unstraps one ski from her foot, then the other. Her goggles fall to the ground next. Once free, she stands up and walks away, ignoring the calls of her friends from the hilltop.

She walks until she loses sight of the trail and then the resort, until the flattened and trampled snow piles up into powdery mounds untouched by human presence. A cropping of towering evergreens appears before her, and she heads straight for the thicket without pausing.

Once safely entombed by the dark tree trunks and frosted branches, Nesta releases a breath and screams. Screams until the frustration and anger within her bluntens just a little.

The forest absorbs her fire and answers with silence.

“Better now?” Cassian’s voice comes from behind her.

Nesta whirls, ready to fling her next scream at him for having the nerve to follow her, but she only restrains herself because it’s his birthday. Guilt and humiliation nips at her; she shouldn’t be doing this on his birthday. “Leave me alone.” Her voice is raw from shrieking.

Cassian only takes a step closer to Nesta, eyeing her up and down. “You’re not hurt, right? ’Cause that would be embarrassing for you.”

Any edge that was taken off starts to build up again, and Nesta really doesn’t want to look at him right now. “Cassian—”

“Your face is turning red,” he suddenly gasps, pointing. “You should try yelling again, babe. I don’t think the entire resort heard you last time.”

Done with her boyfriend’s shit, Nesta releases a growl and rushes at him. He’s a lot closer than she realized, and in a blink she slams right into his broad chest and shoves him with all her might.

Cassian laughs, short and blunt, and pushes her right back. Her back hits hard-packed snow and then he’s on top of her, pinning her wrists loosely beside her head. Icy wetness seeps past the neck of her jacket.

“Do you want me to fucking bite you?” Nesta snarls, getting in Cassian’s face.

“Always,” he says without hesitation, pressing closer to her. “But first you gotta take a breather.”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” she seethes back. At this rate, she really might bite him. She wants to see his smug face drop when he realizes he pushed her too far.

“You might have an aneurysm at this rate with your anger issues.” He pouts prettily. “Imagine how sad that would make me.”

“I DON’T HAVE ANGER ISSUES!” she shrieks.

Cassian barely blinks. Nesta breathes heavily in the ensuing silence, realizing how embarrassing this is for her. Yet she doesn’t know how to stop.

Closing her eyes, she drops her head to the ground and turns away. Wishing she could sink into the ground and vanish for a few minutes, at least until she gets herself under control again.

After a moment of quiet, she feels the back of Cassian’s fingers brush her neck. “I wondered where that spitfire girl went,” he says lowly. “She didn’t die. You just hid her very well.”

Nesta’s body doesn’t know whether to feel soothed or incited by the touch, the words. “Does it make you happy?” she breathes, her eyes still closed. “That she’s still there?”

“It would be murder if you ever got rid of her. Don’t you dare,” he threatens.

Nesta huffs a derisive laugh. It’s easy for him to say, when he isn’t the one that has to live with it. “I bet you’re enjoying this.”

“Only if you are.” He sounds completely genuine, and Nesta feels him pluck something out of her hair—likely a snowflake.

Realizing Cassian has long since released her wrists, she opens her eyes and stares at the column of his neck. She doesn’t see the regret and concern on his face when he says, “I ruined today, didn’t I?” She watches him swallow before he adds, “I’m sorry, Nes.”

“It’s your birthday,” she mutters, looking away. “You can do whatever you want.” Even if it’s spending the whole day skiing.

“You’re right about that.” His warm breath hits her nose, and now that Nesta’s head is somewhat clear, she can feel every place where his body settles into hers.

Before she can betray herself and forget how upset she was at him only a few minutes ago, Cassian pushes up and off of her. Frigid air replaces where he was just sprawled, and then he’s holding out a hand to Nesta. “We’re going back to our room,” he says, watching Nesta’s feet closely as he helps her stand. “You can ride on my back.”

“Why?” Nesta grumbles, brushing herself off. “I can walk fine.”

“You twisted your right ankle on the way down that hill, and you started limping as soon as you thought you were out of sight.” Cassian turns around and points at his back. “Get on while I’m being nice.”

That makes Nesta scoff, because he’s always nice, but she has little fight left today. She tries to reach up to wrap her arms around his neck, but Cassian grabs her legs and hitches her up onto his back before she can struggle.

She responds with a scowl, clasping her hands across his chest and getting comfortable. “You noticed I was hurt but didn’t have a problem with tackling me to the ground?”

Cassian squeezes her thighs and holds her closer, tossing a blinding smile over his shoulder. “Sorry if I wasn’t expecting you to try to jump me with an injured foot. You took me by surprise.”

“Bullshit,” Nesta says as they start walking out of the trees. “You did it on purpose.”

“Do you like starting fights, Archeron?”

“Do you?” she retorts.

They bicker back and forth like that until they reach the resort, and even once they’re inside the lobby, Cassian doesn’t put Nesta down. The exhaustion of the day has settled over the both of them by then, and the elevator ride up to the penthouse is peacefully quiet.

Back at the empty suite, Cassian carefully lowers Nesta to her feet. “Take your clothes off,” is all he says before heading for the bathroom, shedding his heavy outer jacket as he goes. Nesta has no problem listening; she’s all too happy to take her snow-drenched gear off and breathe air-conditioned air again.

She only realizes as she’s removing her boots that her overwrought emotions must have dulled the real pain of her fall. Her entire body aches down to the bone, and her twisted ankle has it the worst. Inspecting the swollen skin around her foot, she wonders if Cassian will make her see a doctor when the sound of a running faucet pulls her attention. Still dressed in her thermal underwear, Nesta pads over to the bathroom.

Inside, the room is dim, and the only light comes in from the single window panel at the far end of the room. Cassian sits on the rim of the clawfoot tub as it fills with heated water, already naked.

Nesta coughs, caught off guard. The sight is far from unfamiliar to her, and yet she hates to admit that she’ll never not react to it.

Cassian looks up at her, meeting her eyes head on, and a giggle almost escapes her.

“What’s that dumb look on your face?” he says with high brows. “Take your clothes off and get in.”

Nesta firmly schools her face into obedience. Is she a grown woman or a schoolgirl? she chides herself as she strips naked. But as soon as she’s free of her top and leggings, Cassian stops her. “Turn around,” he says.

Is this a sex thing? She hopes it’s a sex thing. She does as she’s told, and hears Cassian hiss in a breath. Glancing at the mirror over the sink, Nesta winces when she realizes what he sees. “Damn.” Her back is peppered with still-forming bruises from her fall, along with her legs and ribs.

Getting up, Cassian approaches her and cautiously runs his fingers over a reddened spot on her ribs. “I think a ski pole stabbed me there,” Nesta says, frowning down at the bruise. She looks like shit, and not at all in a desirable way.

“How’s your ankle?” Cassian kneels to check for himself, handling her like a porcelain doll. He presses gently above the bone where she twisted it. “Does that hurt?”

Nesta considers saying yes, just so he can keep fussing over her like this, but she shakes her head. “I’m fine. Just a little achy.”

A sudden chaste kiss between her legs makes her yelp, and she twists to find Cassian still on his knees, grinning sheepishly up at her. “You know what can help with those aches?”

Nesta blanks as Cassian runs a calloused hand up her inner leg. “Uh…really good dick?”

Cassian is visibly trying not to smile when he says, “A bath.” He stands and turns the faucet off, before going to help Nesta into the tub.

Steaming hot water just beneath the point of being uncomfortable hits Nesta’s calves, then her hips and chest. She might moan in relief as she sinks into the bath.

Cassian settles in across from her, taking up most of the tub space as Nesta twists her ponytail into a bun. He takes her ankle onto his lap and starts massaging above the injury. He notes, “We haven’t been alone like this in ages.”

“I remember when it was my job to be the chill guy,” he continues, rubbing circles into her leg. “I was the one doing stupid shit, and now I have to tell other people to knock it off when they do stupid shit. Since when did Azriel take my role?” he mutters to himself.

Nesta tilts her head against the lip of the tub and watches Cassian, taking in the barely visible lines of weariness on his face. She was once in a similar boat, too, where she had no one to answer to but herself. “Do you miss it?” she asks hesitantly. “Life before we got to know each other?” A life spent in the company of his friends, meeting different women every other week and being as free as possible.

“No,” he says easily. “I miss life before we had to share each other with other people.” He meets her eyes and smirks. “Who knew monogamy could be so exciting?”

Nesta’s stomach curls at his honesty, and she doesn’t know what to say. In the silence, Cassian reaches for a washcloth and lathers it with a bar of pine scented soap. But before he can reach for Nesta, she snatches the washcloth from him and pulls herself forward into the cradle of his limbs. What she can’t say, she’ll just have to show.

She starts soaping up his arms, granting extra attention to his tattooed biceps.

“You’re hurt—” he tries to protest.

“Shut up.” She runs the washcloth over his shoulders, across his collarbones.

When Nesta reaches his chest, she starts, “Earlier in the woods...I lost control.”

Cassian looks wary, but she goes on, “I don’t know why I did that. I thought I didn’t do that anymore.”

“I know why,” he says simply. “You were having a bad day. It was overwhelming.” He shrugs.

“But I’m better than that,” she insists. “You might think it's cute or funny when I—lose it, but I spent years training myself not to fall apart at the slightest inconvenience.” She takes in a breath, her movements slowing. “I learned how to escape reality, remember? I climbed into books and TV and songs, and at one point my entire life passed me by because I refused to participate in it. If I didn't participate, I couldn't be hurt.” She wrings out the washcloth, and Cassian carefully pries it out of her grip.

Nesta places her empty hands on her thighs, avoiding his touch, his eyes. “I think you were one of the only people who ever made me want to come back to real life,” she offers awkwardly. “That's why you made me uncomfortable at first. There were times I would look at you and think, He's better than anyone from the books. If I start living on the same plane as him, I can have him. Does that make sense?”

Cassian swallows visibly, but nods.

“It seemed like an impossible thing to do at the time—participate in the real world, make real friends. But have you noticed? I don’t read as many romance novels anymore.” Not because she doesn’t love them, but because she no longer needs them to remind herself she's alive.

She looks up at him, searching for his thoughts and opinions. Cassian looks like he's doing the same with her face, but then he says, “If you need to scream, even if it’s at me, tell me. I’ll take you somewhere far away, or I’ll let you have it out right in front of everyone. Whatever the hell you want, as long as you tell me. Please.”

Nesta starts to shake her head, adamant, but he stops her with the most pitiful look he's ever given her. “There’s nothing I hate seeing more than you trying to swallow down your rough edges. Even in the woods, you were about to tame yourself before I provoked you.” Cassian holds out a pinky, completely serious. “Consider it my birthday gift. Don’t do that shit anymore.”

Nesta stares at him, his plea warring with years of conditioned self-restraint. “I already got you a birthday gift,” she finally grumbles, but hooks his pinky with hers.

He seems satisfied, but doesn't let go of her pinky. With surprising strength, he uses their hooked fingers to pull Nesta into him, and she just barely catches herself on his chest before he brings her head down and kisses her deep.

Nesta already has her legs adjusted around his waist and his cock pressed against her stomach before she can pull away far enough to choke, “What’s this for?”

He leans up and catches her lips with his again, dipping his tongue just far enough inside to flick the roof of her mouth before retreating. “For existing. And for those aches.” He presses down lightly on a bruise at her back and runs a soothing thumb over it right after. Between her thighs, she feels him growing hard.

Nesta huffs a distracted laugh, the steam from the water sending a red flush up her chest and neck. It's suddenly very hot, and she unconsciously squirms in his lap. “I just realized I’ve never had sex in the bath before,” she says out of nowhere, rubbing her chest and quickly dropping her arms. She’s babbling, she knows. Contrary to popular media, being a seductress is harder than it looks. Half the time she has no idea what to say, and she considers herself lucky that Cassian is driven wild by it anyway.

Cassian entertains her, nodding along while his fingers slip past her ass, brushing her folds. “That sounds like something that should be amended, don’t you think?”

“Well, in terms of comfort I’m not sure if it’ll be better than the shower—” She’s cut off by a finger teasing at her entrance, making her jerk. “Yes,” she says quickly. “Yes, it should be amended.”

He hums thoughtfully, leaning in to nibble and suck at her neck. Her hardened nipples brush against his chest, and Nesta pushes closer into Cassian’s embrace. She’s half-rocking against him when she rasps, “How do you give head in the bath? Do I, like, have to hold my breath underwater?”

“You don’t need to know how,” he mutters, grasping her by the hips and tugging her up so that he’s eye level with her chest. He starts leaving a trail of openmouthed kisses across her breasts. “You’re not doing anything I don’t tell you to do today.”

“What do you mean?” Nesta’s grip on Cassian’s shoulders tightens when he brings a pink nipple into his mouth, sucking hard and pulling off with a flick of his tongue. She can’t move her hips for fear of climaxing at the slightest touch. “It’s your birthday,” she manages to get out. “And I like seeing what I can do to you.”

“Then save it for your birthday.” He pulls her back down firmly into his lap, making her thighs clench with restraint. “Because I like seeing what I do to you more.”

To prove his point, he parts her legs and slips one finger inside her. The smug pride on his face at what he finds makes Nesta move to grip the rim of the tub. Having a pretty boyfriend might have been a mistake, she thinks. That kind of face will get away with anything. Right now, for example.

“Tell me what you want, then,” she pleads.

Cassian leans back, pretending to think. “Sit on my cock,” he finally says.

An easy enough order, one Nesta is all too excited to carry out in only a few movements. It takes a minute to adjust to the fullness and the stretch, and the water doesn’t help in dousing the fire in her veins at all. With heat pounding deep in her core, Nesta releases a terse breath. Her tongue darts out to wet her lower lip, and Cassian watches.

“Now don’t move,” he orders.

“What?” Nesta’s knees involuntarily clench around his hips, her body already craving the feel of moving against him, on top of him.

He levels her with a look. “No clenching, no rocking, no touching.” He hisses in a thoughtful breath, combing a wet hand through his hair. “Actually, that isn’t very fair, is it?”

Nesta is about to nod furiously when he says, “You still need to wash yourself.” He hands her the washcloth she used on him earlier and leans his elbow on the rim of the tub. “Be quick about it. No games.”

Nesta’s eyes widen, looking at the washcloth, then back up at Cassian. Excitement tingles in her fingers and toes, and she doesn’t want to argue with him.

Gulping tightly, she soaps up the washcloth, then smooths the lather over her arms. It’s hard to focus on what she’s doing when there’s a pounding pressure between her legs, and the only thing that keeps her going is that she’ll be rewarded when she’s done. Cassian doesn’t bother watching her, instead tipping his head back against the tub and closing his eyes. From this angle, the tendons in his neck stand out clearly, and the hard line of his jaw looks tense. Nothing on his calm face reveals that Nesta is the reason for his tension, though.

Bringing the soapy cloth over her breasts, Nesta looks up to see if Cassian is secretly peeking at her through his lashes. His eyes remain shut, the perfect portrait of a man at rest.

Suddenly, his hips shift beneath hers, and Nesta nearly drops the washcloth. Straightening up, she has to use herculean strength to force her inner walls to relax around him. “You moved,” she accuses him.

“I was getting comfortable,” he says, still not opening his eyes.

“Why can you move but I can’t?”

That gets him to look at her. His eyes are hooded and lazy when he says, “You’re still talking?”

“Maybe if you had clearly explained the rules—” Nesta starts to grumble, but shuts up when he quirks a brow at her. She won’t lose this game, not for anything—even if she’s split at the seams with Cassian inside her and is one thread away from completely snapping.

Now fully alert, Cassian watches Nesta finish washing up. He hasn’t touched her once since he pulled her onto his cock, and now Nesta tries to make up for the aching lack by pretending her roaming hands are his.

It’s not until the washcloth reaches her tummy that Nesta pauses, her hand frozen over her lower abdomen. Because there, even past the cloth, she can feel him. The skin just slightly bulges, and she looks down at herself with her lips slightly fallen apart. She didn’t realize he was nestled so deep in her, but now she swallows past a lump in her throat. “Cassian…” she starts weakly. Every last muscle is trembling with the effort to stay still. Can he really be unaffected by all of this? Is she really the only one dying right now?

Without intending to, her hand drops the cloth, slipping toward her clit. She can only brush the sensitive nub before Cassian says quietly, “Don’t.”

So this is against the rules, too. She can’t even bring herself to look at him, she’s strung so tight. Taking a shallow breath, she grabs the pitcher from the shelf by the tub and fills it with water, using it to rinse off the suds. When she’s done, with water droplets running down every inch of her, she dares to look at Cassian again. Her anxiousness to get this over with must be written all over her face, and yet.

“Good,” Cassian says, voice just a little grated.

Nesta’s heart rate picks up a beat. She’s finally getting her reward.

“Now sit still and pretty while I rest,” he says, sinking even lower into the tub—and causing his cock to dig even deeper into Nesta. “This is a bath, not a splash pad.”

Nesta chokes. “What—I thought—”

“Hm?”

She presses her lips together tightly, refusing to protest. He can’t make her warm his cock like this forever, can he? Soon enough he’ll crack.

Four minutes in, and he doesn’t crack. While Nesta gets closer to crying by the second, she has yet to find evidence that he’s even aware of her presence. Her only proof is the fact that he’s still rock hard, occasionally twitching against the depths of her walls.

At five minutes in, Nesta can’t help it. She breaks, and her inner muscles clamp around Cassian with a viselike grip. She half-sobs in pain and relief, and her hips jerk of their own accord.

Cassian’s eyes fly open at that, the pupils blown wide, and Nesta has to catch herself on his chest to keep from crumbling. If she had half a working brain left, she would have noticed the trembling restraint that lines Cassian’s limbs, or the way his eyes burn with welling desire and even sympathy. Instead, she turns her face into his chest and begs weakly, “Pleasepleaseplease.” Her thighs keep shifting, rubbing back and forth to create friction, but she can’t give herself permission to move the way she truly needs until Cassian gives her permission.

Nesta feels Cassian’s broad hand come up to carefully brush her back. She nearly weeps with relief at the touch, but he doesn’t go any further. “What do you want, baby?” he says roughly.

“You,” she forces out. She doesn’t care if this is losing.

“Me, what?” He sounds like he’s about to lose, too.

“I want you to fuck me.” She’s nearly whimpering, trying not to squirm on his lap.

Cassian, the horrible bastard, has the nerve to snicker in her ear, though he sounds more than a little wrecked when he says, “Well, why didn’t you just say so?”

In a flash, he has Nesta pinned against the porcelain tub. And before she can decide whether to laugh or moan or cry at the turn of events, Cassian covers her mouth with his and thrusts into her, giving her everything she wants.

***

Hours later, after they’ve sated themselves on sex and food and Cassian is napping sprawled out across Nesta’s back, she receives a text from Azriel telling her he won’t be there to celebrate the rest of Cassian’s birthday.

Az: You two deserve the alone time. Also I didn’t get him a present.

Another text pops up before Nesta can reply.

Az: I did order a cake to be sent up to your room, though. Don’t worry, there’s not a picture of your boobs on it.

Nesta’s eyes widen at that, not knowing why—or how—that would be an option. But she completely forgot about getting cake in all the unexpected hassle of their vacation, and not for the first time is she grateful that Azriel came along with them on their trip.

Typing back a quick thank you, Nesta clicks her phone off and curls further into Cassian’s warmth. He shifts on top of her, hugging her closer, and a moment later she feels his nose poking at the crook of her neck. “Good morning,” he murmurs thickly, sleep coating his voice.

“It’s six p.m,” she snickers. The sun slipped behind the mountains just a few minutes ago, leaving the room a blue dark.

Cassian responds by slipping his hands under her oversized tee, rubbing the muscles along her back. “Where’s everyone else?” They haven’t seen Gwyn, Emerie, or Az in hours.

Nesta turns around in Cassian’s arms to face him. “Consider them gone. We’re by ourselves for the rest of the night.”

He perks up at that. “Really?”

A knock sounds from the penthouse door, and Nesta remembers Azriel’s text. She squirms out from under Cassian’s weight with some difficulty and stands off the bed. She points a stern finger at him. “Don’t move from here,” she orders. “I’ll be back.”

Cassian leans back, looking questioning and amused, but Nesta has already jammed her feet into slippers and left the room by then.

She accepts the covered platter from room service at the door and leaves a tip, before carrying the cake over to the coffee table in the living area and setting it down. Within ten minutes, she has an entire setup arranged: the fireplace is up and roaring, the fur throw she stole from Cassian’s couch to bring on vacation is spread out before it, and the cake candles are lit. The Italian dinner that she ordered earlier also arrives by then, and once everything is laid out, she calls for Cassian to come downstairs.

He’s fully dressed in a sweater and jeans when he appears at the top of the short set of stairs, and he looks so excited to see her that he doesn’t notice the cake or the dinner until he’s only a few steps away from her. Very slowly, his smile freezes. “What’s all this?”

“It’s your birthday,” Nesta says. “Duh.”

“But I thought we already celebrated,” he stumbles, looking around. “With the skiing, and the bathtub—”

Nesta makes a face. “You thought that was celebrating?” She shakes her head and beckons Cassian over to the fur throw, right before the table decked out with food.

He sits down beside Nesta, looking over her in nothing but her thin white shirt. “Are you cold? Do you want my sweater?”

She rolls her eyes as far back as they can go. “No, I want you to focus and make a wish before 6:27.”

“How do you know my birth time?”

“Will you do it or not?” she threatens. The candle wax is melting onto the cake.

Cassian stares at her for a moment longer before finally facing the cake. Closing his eyes, he mouths something unintelligible and blows the candles out.

Nesta claps softly. “Happy two years away from thirty. What did you wish for?” She leans closer.

He leans away. “It doesn’t come true if you go around announcing it.”

Nesta’s shoulders drop. “Wishes aren’t real, Cassian.”

“That’s what you say.” He swipes a dollop of chocolate frosting off the cake with his finger and holds it out to Nesta.

Smiling, she wraps her lips around his finger, scraping the chocolate off with her teeth and licking it clean. He sucks on the same finger when she’s done, chasing after her taste and the lingering frosting. “What do you want first?” he asks. “Dinner or dessert?”

“This.” Nesta pulls out a small box from under the table, placing it in front of Cassian. She didn’t have time to find wrapping paper or a bag, but she’s a bit proud of herself anyway.

Cassian once again looks taken by surprise. “You didn’t have to…” He trails off as he reaches for the box. It’s already obvious what it is, but he still opens it carefully, hesitantly.

He stares at the silver watch for a little while and then looks back up at Nesta. “I…” He clears his throat.

“What do you think?” In all honesty, Nesta already knows. But she needs to hear it from him.

He meets her eyes. “It’s so…normal. Do you know what I mean?”

It’s the type of gift that Nesta’s mother would have given to her father, the type of gift that wives would give to their husbands. Not necessarily original or thoughtful, but domestic.

“Since you like to spend your time thinking about taxes and minivans and stuff,” Nesta says, remembering their last conversation about the future, “I thought you’d like something normal.”

Cassian laughs at that. He takes the watch out of the box and turns it over in the firelight, still a little dumbstruck. “I love it,” he says roughly.

Nesta kicks him in the knee. “It’s a watch, not an engagement ring.”

But he doesn’t hear a word, already clasping it onto his wrist.

***

Their last day at the resort starts early with Gwyn, Emerie, and Az banging on the suite door at five in the morning. Though Cassian is already up by then, Nesta snarls and snaps like a bitch at being dragged out of bed to watch the sunrise.

With everyone’s bags packed and waiting at the door, they all gather on the balcony connected to the suite in content silence. Azriel nurses a thermos of coffee that he refuses to share with Cassian, and Nesta is wrapped up in that fur throw she loves, half-asleep against Emerie.

When the sky starts lightening, Cassian pulls Nesta away from Emerie and into his body. “You’re gonna miss it,” he murmurs onto the top of her head.

She blinks awake, looking out at the sky slowly being streaked with a dozen colors. From here, the view over the mountains and the quiet town some miles beneath the resort is breathtaking. Easily better than any sunrise Cassian could have shared with Nesta back home.

It’s beautiful, and in that moment he decides he wants to see even more beautiful places than this with Nesta. Someday.

“Pretty,” she yawns, tilting her head back against his chest. Cassian feels guilty for keeping her up so late the night before, but he’s not ashamed of how she rests in his arms right now.

After the sun climbs past the lowest peak, the group of them slowly but surely come more alive. Emerie asks Az to go inside with her and do a final check before they leave, and Nesta shakes both the blanket and Cassian’s arms off herself.

“Some coffee will wake you up,” he promises her, leaving her outside in the dewy morning air with a kiss on the temple.

When Cassian returns to the balcony with two freshly brewed cups, he finds Gwyn and Nesta in deep conversation. “I never apologized for crashing your weekend,” Gwyn is saying.

“You don’t need to,” Nesta responds, watching the world wake up below her.

“Still,” Gwyn says, chewing on the inside of her cheek. “I acted out of character, didn’t I?”

Nesta turns to her then, the sun haloing her face, and the look of understanding she wears makes Cassian take a step back inside.

“He does that to me,” Gwyn goes on, looking lost as ever. “I don’t know why he does that to me.”

“First love will do that to anyone,” Nesta says.

This isn’t a conversation Cassian should be overhearing, he realizes. Turning around with his coffees, he goes to find Emerie and Azriel instead.

In the living area, Emerie realizes at the last minute that she’s missing her phone charger. By the time she finds it, Nesta and Gwyn have rejoined the group.

Cassian hands Nesta her still-warm coffee with a warmer smile. “You ready to get out of here?”

“Hell yes, baby.” She slings an arm around his waist.

They barely make it to the resort lobby before Azriel and Gwyn start arguing over which route to take home.

“Why would you add an extra hour to your trip for no reason?” Azriel is saying.

“It’s none of your business!” Gwyn retorts.

“She’s scared of highways,” Emerie inserts.

While they bicker on the way to check out, Cassian finds Nesta’s hand and runs a finger down her palm. “Hey, Nes?”

“Hm?” She looks up at him.

He curls his fingers around hers. “Thank you for doing this.”

***

a/n: i cant keep posting chapters right before i sit down to cry in front of kdramas

tagging: @hellasblessed @sjm-things @thewayshedreamed @drielecarla @valkyriewarriors @superspiritfestival @aliveahaahahafuck @cupcakey00 @sayosdreams @rainbowcheetah512 @claralady @thebluemartini @nessiantho @missing-merlin @duskandstarlight @lucy617 @sleeping-and-books @everything-that-i-love @cassianscool @swankii-art-teacher @wannawriteyouabook @awesomelena555 @julemmaes @wickedqueenoffantasy @poisonous-bloom @observationanxioustheorist @gisellefigue08 @courtofjurdan @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @wolfiixxx @cass-nes @seashade @royaltykxx @illyrianundercover @queenestarcheron @monstrousloves-explodinggalaxies @humanexile @that-golden-lyre @agentsofsheilds @mercy-is-alive @cassiansbigwingspan @laylaameer01 @verypaleninja @maastrash @bow-dawn @perseusannabeth @dead-on-the-inside666 @jlinez @hungryreadingaddict @anidealiveson @planet-faerie @shallowhighwaters @ghostlyrose2 @chosenfamily-valkyriequeens @rarephloxes @readiajin @nessiantrashh @live-the-fangirl-life @ifinallygavein @xoblivisci @sjmships @jungtaekwoonie-is-life @lysandra-tiara @lanyjoy-13 @frosted-crackers @post-it-notes33 @loosingdreams @fromthelibraryofemilyj @18moneytoad @dontgetsalmonella @champanheandluxxury @togreblog @arinbelle @ladygabrielli1997 @meridainthedisneyland @moodymelanist @pixieelea

[bookstantrash]

A/N: Huge shoutout to the lovely @perseusannabeth​ who obsess over Pride & Prejudice as much as me. After very politely threatening asking  me to write more of Nessian as P&P (I’m so glad Sarah made it canon that Nessian’s relationship is Darcy and Lizzie’s) she told me about THE lake scene in the BBC version. I watched all six episodes and fell in love, so I highly suggest you all watch it too.

Also, huge shoutout to @firebirdofscythia​ (I stole your Azriel line lmao) and the rest of the gc for being so supportive!! Enjoy

Pemberley’s Lake

Cassian was so tired it was a wonder he had not fallen from his horse, which made him realise that Azriel may have been partially right in telling him to take a break and go back to his state to rest.

Although he suspected that Azriel kicking him out of his office and practically throwing him in a carriage to Pemberley had more to do with the fact that Azriel had gotten sick of his mopey mood more than anything else.

“I shall never show my face in society again” Cassian had told a bored looking Azriel one afternoon, laying on his office’s floor as if it was the end of the world “I shall work until my eyes grow tired and my beard and hair are so long they reach the ground.”

“Stop with the theatrics brother. It is not becoming of you.” Azriel had answered as he shuffled a deck of cards.

“Theatrics!! Azriel for Cauldron’ sake I have no idea how I can keep on living after that refusal” he sighed from his place on the carpeted floor “There is not another woman alive who could hold my heart. It's lost forever. And now I shall live in regret and shame of not being enough for her.”

Azriel rolled his eyes so hard at his brother’s words it was a wonder they did not stay permanently like that.

“I shall grow old and drown my sorrows in the finest beers and wines, turning fat and bald. And after I have passed, my cursed ghost shall roam our country crying in despair over my terrible life”

That had been enough to make Azriel pack Cassian’s belongings and get his brother the fastest horse available.

“If it were not for the laws of this land” Azriel had mumbled after he had bid his brother farewell, wishing a good trip and forbidding him to appear in his office again until he had fixed that mood of his.

Breathing in the clear and fresh air of his home, Cassian was able to momentarily forget his troubled heart. But one look at the blue sky and he was reminded of the gray-blue eyes belonging to the lady who had made him, General Commander of the British Army, who had enough condecorations to fill his whole coat and who had made enemies tremble in fear when faced against him, wallow in self pity and misery.

Lady Nesta Archeron.

Her name alone was enough to make his chest tighten in longing.

Feyre’s oldest and most notorious sister, if not by her breathtaking beauty and intellect but by her ruthless and dismissive regard to the oposite sex. Whereas Feyre had surprised society by marrying before her older sisters  — and securing herself the best of matches of the season at that with his brother Rhysand, which was nothing but a Duke  — and Elain had enough suitors to fill a ballroom, the oldest Archeron did not seem inclined to marry at all. Oh she did catch the eyes of more than one gentleman  —  Cassian could vaguely reckon that she had had a long courting with Sir Thomas Mandray, although it had ended rather abruptly — but no one had been able to snare her heart.

That had been what had initially peaked his interest. He had briefly seen her at Rhysand’s wedding, attempting some small talk that was easily and diplomatically dismissed by her. He had then relentlessly engaged in conversation with her in any opportunity he could find, being it from the few occasions in which she frequented Feyre’ small reunions over tea or when he coincidentally met her during her daily walks around town to visit Lady Emerie, a modice whose popularity was raising tremendously after Feyre’s bridal trousseau and wedding dress were all designed by her.

It was not until Feyre’s first official gathering as Duchess that Cassian realised the depths of his feelings for the sharp eyed lady.

He had been watching the ballroom from the sidelines, trying to escape the mob of scary mamas who wanted to throw their daughters at him, a glass of champagne in his hand.

Rhysand and Feyre had already danced the opening song, so the floor was now free to hold more partners. Both Cassian and Azriel had danced once with Morrigan — Rhysand’s cousin and a dear friend of theirs — and Elain had enough names on her card that they’d have to wait a fortnight to dance with her. Nesta on the other hand…. she had refused all invitations, although one could not help but wonder why by the way she seemed to glow whenever a new song was played.

“Lady Archeron” Cassian had greeted, bowing deeply and throwing at her his best smile, one that usually had young ladies fainting and old ones blushing.

But not Nesta Archeron. No, she had only deigned to make a polite bow and look ahead.

“I could not help but take notice of how entranced by the music you appear to be, my Lady” he had offered her his hand “Would you do me the honour of allowing one dance?”

That had caught Nesta’s attention, and she turned towards him, her gray-blue eyes finally meeting his hazel ones.

“I do not think why I should. I am perfectly satisfied to watch from the sidelines” she raised a perfect manicured eyebrow, glancing in the corner where the mamas and their daughters were “I am sure many other young ladies would rather have my place”

Cassian knew she was lying. Knew she desperately wanted to dance, but something was holding her back.

“It is said that dancing is the best way to encourage affection. Even if one’s partner is barely tolerable” he had nonchalantly said

“I beg your pardon” Nesta had exclaimed

“The lady has nothing to fear. I will not let you suffer ridicule because of your poor dancing” he had said in a patronizing tone, if only to see that fire in her eyes ignite.

And to see her accepting his offer with a murderous intent.

They had moved to the center of the ballroom, shocked faces all around them, both from the fact that Nesta was joining the dance floor and her partner being him of all gentlemen.

Cassian had never been proved more wrong once the first string from the violin was drawn and Nesta moved. He had been sure she knew how to dance, had only said those words to get a rise from her. But to see Nesta Archeron actually dancing… it was something straight out of a dream.

Cassian knew the waltz. His mother had insisted that all three sons have the same education, even though only Rhysand was set to inherit the duchy.

However, when paired with Nesta Archeron one could not be called nothing but a simple object to display her talents. Even the most notorious dancer would pale in comparison to her.

And Cauldron, she knew that. Nesta knew she was Terpsikhore, greek Muse of music, song and dance.

What a fool he had been, what a complete and utter fool he had made of himself. His only consolation was that some good had come out of his childish behaviour.

Nesta Archeron was dancing, and when she danced she threatened to bring empires to their knees, for her beauty got inhumanly enhanced, her delighted smile sending an arrow straight to his chest.

Cassian realised he had fallen hopelessly in love with Nesta Archeron. If he was to be true with himself, he had been for quite some time, since their first exchange of words when she had all but dismissed him as a pesky bug.

And as the last note was drawn, as the whole ballroom breathlessly took in Nesta, in complete awe of her, Cassian decided he was going to marry her.

Was going to propose to Nesta Archeron right at that moment.

Using the excuse of getting some fresh air after the tiring dance, he walked them to Rhysand’s extensive and well lit garden, quiet enough that they would not be interrupted but not so isolated as to risk her reputation.

They had walked only a few minutes in the garden when Cassian declared his feelings. He all but tripped with his words, hoping Nesta could see past his fool’s act.

She had not.

She had refused his hand in the most brutal way, her words so articulately poisoned that Cassian felt himself a young boy again, desperately trying to achieve perfection so his father would dare to spare him more than a passing glance. Would not regret having adopted him into his household and given him a home.

He had uttered an apology, saying how sorry he was that his feelings had caused her such pain and disgust, reigning his temper enough to walk her back to the ballroom.

Cassian left town the same night, and had stayed in his office and headquarters training the new milicia since then, burying himself with work until Azriel grew tired of his awful mood.

Sighing, Cassian brushed his horse’s neck, eyeing the lake.

Maybe a dive in the cold waters of Pemperley would help clear his mind.

~•~

Pemberley was, in Nesta’s opinion, the most beautiful state she had ever seen. Even more than her newly married sister’s dukedom.

“However this house’s lady is, she sure is happy” Emerie commented as the head maid showed them to the music room.

“As if someone could be unhappy with this much money” Gwyn whispered back, eyeing the grand piano.

Nesta was inclined to agree, even more after having seen the library. She could not help but envy the lady. Her husband must be a very cultured gentleman.

“May I show you the external grounds? I am sure the gentleman will find it quite delightful” the head maid said, looking at Balthazar, the only men among their group of four.

“I am most grateful for your hospitality” he answered, and they promptly moved outdoors.

Their party of four had been travelling through the countryside for almost two weeks. It was as much as a vacation for Emerie and Balthazar — with Emerie’s shop the season’s current sensation and Balthazar being her current business partner  — as a time out from the ton, which Gwyn — the most required opera singer of the season — had announced to be in desperately need of a vacation from.

As for Nesta, she had always wanted to travel, but as a single woman of marriageable age without a male relative to escort her, it would have been a nearly impossible feat to accomplish.

When Balthazar had offered to escort both her and her friends Nesta had wanted to shout in delight.

Secretly, she also wished to avoid a certain gentleman, one whose heart she had mercilessly and regretfully broken.

Nesta shook her head as she walked through the garden, distancing herself from her party to think and remember.

Remember how she had enjoyed dancing with Lord Cassian.

How her body had sung and heated where his skin touched hers.

How she had found herself smiling and agreeing to take a stroll with him, using the excuse of feeling overwhelmed in the crowded ballroom.

How his smile had faded once she tore at him, throwing every hateful word his way to refuse his proposal.

Nesta had not seen Cassian since her sister’s ball, but she did not want to risk an encounter.

That trip could not have been more well timed.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she did not notice her hair getting caught in a low tree branch, ruining her intricate updo.

“No one is around” she muttered to herself as she took off the pins holding it in place “A few minutes with my hair down will not hurt”

So Nesta took each pin off, massaging her scalp as she walked in the direction of the state’s lake, the sun shining over its  clear waters.

And that is when she spotted him.

Cassian.

Cassian was at the lake.

Cassian was shirtless, dripping wet by the lake’ shore.

Nesta knew she should turn around and forget what she was currently seeing.

But she could not take her eyes off of him.

Seeing a shirtless man in person was indeed a far cry from what her imagination conjured when reading romance novels.

Especially the way the water was running down Cassian’s tanned and hard torso, all the way down his pecs and stomach — was that a six pack or were her eyes playing tricks on her? — until it collided with his pants, which were hanging so low on his hips that Nesta could not help but feel a weird sensation low in her stomach.

Her legs stopped obeying her, and she swore her knees got weak when Cassian noticed he had company.

“Lady Archeron?” he exclaimed, as if he could not believe his eyes.

“Sir!” was all she could say, feeling her cheeks warming.

Cauldron what was wrong with her? It was just a body. A very nice, very wet muscled body and—

“What may you be doing here?” Nesta quickly inquired, cutting her errand thoughts.

“I am the owner” he simply answered

“Of the lake?”

She wanted to smack herself. How could have she blurted such a stupid and rude question?

“Yes, of the lake. And of Pemberley” he answered, amusement lacing his words.

“I didn’t know. The head maid said all the family was not home— we should not have presumed—”

“I returned without prior notice”

“Excuse me, are you and your sisters in good health?” Cassian added, and Nesta dared to think that he sounded a bit nervous.

“Yes. Yes they are. Thank you, sir” she managed to answer, her eyes firmly placed upon his face and not anywhere else.

“I am glad to hear that” he licked his lips and Nesta could not help but wonder if they would be cold due to the lake’s water or if Cassian’s unbothered face meant he was not cold at all.

Was she really inquiring of how his lips would feel against hers? Against her skin? If kissing Cassian would feel as dreamily as her novel's kiss appeared to be?

Nesta hated him.

Did she not?

“I had never seen you with your hair down”

Cassian’s words took her out of her reverie, and Nesta suddenly felt self conscious.

“Do excuse me for showing myself in front of you with such an unsightly appearance” she felt mortified. To have Cassian of all people seeing her like that, hair in complete disarray….

Nesta quickly turned around, fumbling with the hair pins in a vain and desperately attempt of redoing her hair.

“It’s beautiful” she heard Cassian saying in a breathless voice, and thanked the Cauldron her back was turned so he would not see how her face warmed considerably, a small smile gracing her lips.

“Let me help you” he quietly added, and she gasped at the proximity of wet, shirtless Cassian, who touched her hair softly.

“How come a gentleman such as you knows how to hairstyle a lady’s hair?” Nesta asked, feeling his warmth on her back, a tingly sensation between her legs when his fingers brushed her neck.

“I frequently helped my younger sister, Georgiana, fix her own hair in the occasions she played a little too far from what would be deemed proper for a young lady” she felt his hot breath against her neck as Cassian laughed “She favours outdoors activities such as horseback riding, although she’s quite accomplished in arts and music.”

“Your sister sounds lovely” Nesta said, turning to face him once she felt he was done fixing her hair.

“She is my brothers’ and mine whole world. There’s nothing we would not do for Georgiana”

Nesta felt her heart warming at his words, at his devotion and love towards his family. She wondered if he would do the same with his wife.

If he would have acted the same way towards her had she accepted his proposal.

Unbeknown to her, Cassian was imagining the same thing.

He was picturing how he could have helped her every morning with her hair if she had agreed to marry him. Instead, he would have to live with this one memory forever.

He was lost in her eyes, their bodies so close they were sharing breaths and Cassian was holding back by a sliver thread of self control to not hold her against him.

If it were not for the appearance of three people — Cassian supposed them to be Nesta’s companions — he very well could have done that.

“Excuse me” Cassian abruptly said, bowing deeply and leaving Nesta alone.

Although soon her friends joined her, Gywn and Emerie bombarding her with questions seeing her ruffled state.

Their party was getting ready to depart when Cassian appeared again, having ran inside to get changed and appropriate.

“Lady Nesta!” he called before she could get inside the carriage “Please allow me to apologise for not receiving you properly just now. You are not leaving?”

“We were, sir. We have already imposed too much” she said, spine straight and looking every bit the regal queen she was.

What he did not know was that was her way of maintaining a cool exterior and not blush remembering his naked figure.

“You are not displeased with Pemberley, are you?” Cassian asked, anxiously brushing his hair back.

“No. Not at all”

“And you approve of it?”

“Very much” Nesta said softly, a dreamy smile on her face as she remembered the library “A few would not approve”

“But your good opinion is rarely bestowed and therefore more worth earning” he said, and his smile was enough to make Nesta’s heart skip a beat.

Why was she feeling in such a way, she wondered. Why did her body feel hot and strange all over whenever Cassian was involved?

“Thank you. That is very kind of you”

“I shall not hold you back any longer” he said, helping her in the carriage, his calloused hand a stark contrast against her soft one “I will call on you and I hope you can introduce me to your companions. Perhaps we may go fishing tomorrow? My property is blessed with an abundance of them”

“We would be delighted to. Thank you, sir’

After the farewells were bid and Nesta’s carriage was only a distant dot in the horizon, Cassian got inside, smiling broadly at his head maid and butler.

“You are very chipper, sir'' the old woman said with a knowing smile, the butler agreeing with her. Their lord had been mopey for quite some time now, so it brought joy to their hearts to see his mood so high.

“I had a very good evening Mrs.Pots” he declared, thinking about how he should swim more frequently in the lake.

A few miles from Pemberley, Nesta stared at the scenery lost in thought, Cassian’s touch lingering in her hand all the way back to the inn.

•

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[anyoneseenadam]

Home: Chapter Seven

azriel x reader (acotar)

summary: (y/n) is a daughter of Persephone, still recovering from the trauma of her fall into Tartarus and doesn’t have time for a stupid, handsome, annoying, stunning, injured man. But now they’re stuck together in the middle of nowhere and there only chance of getting home is if she can heal him, and fast.

warnings: big spoilers for mark of Athena and house of Hades, also for the acotar series, eventual smut, blood, PTSD, graphic descriptions of violence, injuries and torture, enemies to lovers so az is a bit of a dick to start, swearing, 

word count: 3.9k

a/n: I’m entirely writing this to distract myself from the real world but honesty I’m having a great time, I think there will be one more chapter after this one and maybe an epilogue but asides from that, also feel free to message or ask if you want to be tagged :)) anyway enjoy and pls comment and shiz :)

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Azriel had once joked that you were like an actual flower, needing water and sunlight to use your powers. At the time you had laughed but now as you stood in front of the mirror, wiping the tears from under your eyes, and preparing to walk into the world of all things dead, you understood. The dress you wore was one of the few fancy ones you reserved for the dinners you were often dragged to before your fall. It was lavender, with tulle cascading down your legs from the waist, paired with a tight corset top and tulle off-the-shoulder sleeves. As you sat with a ‘humph’ and started applying your makeup, your stepbrother walked in.

“Well you look cheery,” Nico said, sitting on your bed.

“I look like an evil power puff girl,”

“You look like you are a princess, which you are so my dad is going to be pleased.”

“I really don’t care what he thinks,” you snapped, and Nico help up his hands. He was wearing all black as usual, simple dress pants and a loose black shirt tucked in, his belt matched his rings, and his dark hair and even darker eye bags made him look every bit the Underworld prince. “Sorry, I’m not mad at you,” you said turning back around to carry on with your makeup.

“I know, it’s stressful for you,” he moved to sit next to you, resting his head on your shoulder and you applied eyeliner.

“I don’t wanna get sick again, I have things to do. Plus I’ve got to convince your dad to let me ask for this favour. I just feel like it’s all going to go to shit.”

“I get it, you’ll be fine though. Also I’m pretty sure your mum is going to do anything for you if it means you’ll speak to her again, so she’ll be on your side at least. That’s three vs one.” He nudged you as you put down the eyeliner.

“That’s true.” You bit the inside of your lip and Nico, sensing your worry, changed topic.

“Tell me about Azriel,” He said, and you caught his eye in the mirror.

“Huh?”

“Well I gotta make sure that when you become his problem it will be permanent, I don’t want you coming back,” he joked.

“Fuck you,” you laughed shoving his shoulder and he giggled, rolling onto his back.

“I don’t want to do thisssss,” Nico said in a sing-song voice lying flat on the floor.

“Me neither but I’m not going in alone bitch,” you laughed, starting to feel slightly better. It was moments like this that made you regret pushing your friends away, the thought of seeing them was always scary but when you were with your brother again you remembered why you loved them so much. You assessed your outfit in the mirror and sighed.

“What?” Nico asked, sitting back up.

“This would look really nice with a dark red lip,” you said, biting your lip.

“Do you have one?” he asked, and you nodded. He was quiet for a second before reaching out and ruffling through your makeup, finding your favourite red lipstick. “Do you wanna try?”

“Yeah, but if I cry it’ll mess up my eyeliner.” You said with a shaky laugh. He laughed quietly handing you the lipstick and you looked at him in the mirror, taking in a shuddering breath. You were stronger than this and you could handle it. You closed your eyes for a minute, counting your breaths, before opening the lipstick.

Once it was applied you lifted your chin, staring down the girl in the mirror. Nico grabbed your hand softly and you tore your eyes away, standing and pulling on your shoes.

“Are you ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

--

Azriel was in a shit mood. He was 90% sure that you had cast some sort of spell on him when he was with you, something that made him happy and relaxed, because now that you weren’t here he pretty much wanted to throttle everyone.

Amren had been helping him look for a way to get back to you. The first thing they had tried was winnowing, he pictured your face; your smile, the way your hands felt in his, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t reach you. So they had been scanning books since then, reading up on every theory and myth. Nesta had brought him to speak to Gwyn who had told him about the theory that there could be up to at least 20 other worlds. Amren had also made him talk through every detail about this world he could remember, writing diligent notes as Cassian gave him weird looks when he spoke about Bucky Barnes.

“He’s a character, it’s a simple concept.”

“Yeah but how do you get an emotional connection to a character?”

“Shut up both of you.”

The pain in his chest was only growing as well, and he came to the daunting realisation that if he failed this; if he couldn’t get back to you, or get you back to him, he would probably have to deal with it for the rest of his long, long life.

He felt bad for taking his frustrations out on his family who were just worried about him, but he had never felt this way before. All he could think of was the way your eyes cleared when the realisation dawned on you. The way you had gone from sobs to a different, all-consuming kind of pain, just for a second, your eyes clearing as you realised you might never see him again. He hated himself for not being strong enough to put up a fight, he knew he wasn’t a match for a god, but he should’ve tried, he was too shocked at the time, too heartbroken, but now he was terrified that you might think he gave up on you. He had to get back to you, he was afraid what you might do if you were alone again. If you were alone after having the bond dangled in front of you, only to have it ripped away moments later.

It was almost 3am and everyone else in the house had gone to bed, but Azriel didn’t sleep well normally, and he especially wouldn’t while he was apart from you. He looked up from his book when he heard someone clear their throat, his head whipped up an incredulous smile gracing his features when he saw you sitting there.

“Baby,” he started moving forward but you held your hand up, stopping him.

“Oh that’s just too sweet, you kids are giving me so much content,” you dabbed at your eyes, and Azriel frowned.

“(y/n)? what’s going on?”

“Oh I’m not (y/n) sweetie, but that’s just adorable. My name is Aphrodite, Goddess of love and beauty, I often appear as whoever you find most beautiful.” Azriel’s heart dropped, the brief happiness he felt seeing your face gone as the lady spoke.

“Aphrodite? Hermes mentioned you.” He said, tensing as he realised he was dealing with another god. “In fact he said it was your fault this all happened.”

“Oh Hermes, always blaming someone else. You should be thanking me.”

“And why would I do that.” Azriel knew the look on his face was deadly, but something about seeing a god cower under his gaze was feeding his ego.

“Haven’t you worked out why you can’t travel back to her.” She raised her eyebrows at him, her expressions may be on your face, but as he paid more attention she seemed like a completely different person. “I have the power to move through world’s, you do not. I just thought that poor, sweet girl had been through enough that she should get to meet her soulmate. I waited for you after your mission and then just made you forget and let the two of you fall in love naturally, I mean I get teary eyed thinking about it, you’re just too cute!”

Azriel’s shoulders relaxed slightly, “So why are you here? Are you going to bring her to me?”

“Hmm I could, but I’d get in so much trouble, plus she’s very smart and I want to see if her plan works. You people are so very entertaining.” Her face rippled for a second as she turned, and she briefly looked like Mor, then Elain, then back to you. “But you, poor boy,” He chose to ignore the condescending tone, “You were dealt a very bad hand love wise, so maybe if she doesn’t succeed I could pull a few strings, but I do have a holiday planned so it may be a few decades.”

Her laugh made him feel sick and he glared at her, “What did you say about her plan?”

“Oh yes! She’s going down to the underworld to try find a solution,” Aphrodite was moving around the room gracefully as Azriel sat back down, the weight of Aphrodite’s easy words hitting him. She picked up one of the books laying on the desk and made an unimpressed noise, throwing it back down carelessly.

“That’s where the dead go right?” he asked, silently praying he was wrong,

“Yup! Don’t worry though, her mother lives there too,” she said ‘mother’ with a slight snarl, but Azriel ignored her. “You know I get why she likes you, you’re very pretty aren’t you?” She walked over to him, swaying your hips and he had to remind himself it wasn’t you as she sat down in his lap, forcing his hands to stay clenched at his side. She ran your hand along his jaw, tilting her head with a smile as she stroked his face. Her thumb rested on his bottom lip as he glared at her with murderous rage, trying to reel it in as he remembered she was possibly the only one that could help him.

“Well I guess I better go,” She sighed dramatically then pressed a perfectly polished gold coin into his hand, “Flip this if you need me, emergencies and sex only.” She winked at him, before kissing his cheek and standing, waving seductively before vanishing. Azriel sat for a few minutes, reeling from the interaction he just had. Is this the world I’ve entered now? Gods who can do whatever they want? He wondered if that’s why you avoided talking about the Gods, if maybe growing up with this had made you bitter to them. He wanted to ask you and talk to you about it, or anything for that matter but instead he just pocketed the coin and stood, winnowing to his room, and collapsing on his bed.

--

“Sweetie, you look beautiful,” Your mother cried out as you and Nico arrived, you were leaning heavily on his arm, while surrounded by death, the coldness of a lifeless place seeped into your bones and weakened you, you had learnt as much the first time you visited. You gave your mother a tight-lipped smile and hugged her awkwardly.

“Oh I missed you so much dear,” she stroked your hair, and you fought the urge to roll your eyes.

“You could’ve visited.” It was hard to keep the bitterness out of your voice, after all you had gone through and she hadn’t visited once. A look of shock passed over her face but before she could reply Hades thundered in, his usual outfit, ‘the robes of death and despair’ as you fondly called them, were replaced by a dark suit, his hair slicked back from his face. He came to Persephone’s side and rested a hand around her waist pulling her in slightly, and despite yourself you felt a little jealous of their closeness as your mother looked up at him with doe eyes.

“Nico, my son, how are you?” Hades deep voice silenced the room, the very air seeming to stand still, and Nico flushed red as he was put on the spot. The four of you exchanged pleasantries as you made your way to the ridiculously long table, Hades sat at the head on one side, Persephone on the other, with Nico and you facing each other in the centre. The wood was dark, but the table was covered in all sorts of colourful food and you all helped yourselves while making small talk, only managing to hear your parents due to the eery silence of the room, dead guards not needing to make any noise.

After the first few courses and once you had consumed enough white wine to gain some courage you turned to face your mother.

“Mum, I think I need a favour if that’s okay?” you asked with great caution, extremely aware of the powerful forces surrounding you.

“Well that depends dear. What is it?”

“After the battle and the… fall, I never got my reward remember, I instead asked to be able to come get it when I needed it.”

“Yes of course, I thought that was very smart!” your mother spoke cheerfully but you could feel Hades’ gaze on your back, burning through your skin and bones to the very essence of your soul. “Let me guess, you need it now?”

“If that’s okay, some things have changed recently and I now know what I need,” you smiled at her, “I met a man, well actually he’s a faerie. Aphrodite wanted us to meet because we’re soulmates and after my fall she thought I deserved to see him, but since he’s from another world he had to go back, and we can’t be together.” You wiped away a few stray tears you forced out; this was your game. Your mother didn’t visit you often so she had never seen this side of you, the side that could manipulate even a god into giving you what you wanted. “So I thought, maybe for my reward I could become Fae and be permitted to live with Azriel in his world, and maybe come and visit my friends occasionally?”

“Oh that sounds lovely dear! That’s so alike me, I had to beg my mother and even then she didn’t let me stay here,” your mother rattled on and you smiled at her, but your shoulders were still tense as you knew you hadn’t won yet. You turned to where Hades sat, rubbing his temples.

“I get it. I do. But I really don’t think my brother would allow that, it’s too much.”

“Too much?” you asked, a bitter laugh escaping.

“I understand you went through a lot,”

“Do you?” you couldn’t stop the biting words, “Because the last I checked you both sat and did nothing while I was tortured down there. You could’ve done something, but you didn’t, you made a choice not to, and now I ask for ONE thing, and it’s too much?” Hades’ glare was murderous, but you weren’t going to back down.

“I mean if you really think about it, I’ll be out of your hair if you agree. One less demi-god always seems to be a win for you guys.” Nico said your name in warning, but you slowly stood. “I am not asking for much, I am asking to be allowed to live a life with the man I love and after all I have been through, fighting YOUR battles, I think it’s the least I deserve.”

You held Hades’ gaze for a few more seconds until he spoke. “Are you sure your not a child of Nyx?” he asked, and you grinned, cocking your head to the side.

“Why would that be?”

“You have a pure evil streak in you girl and uncharted power. You better learn to control it, before someone catches on.”

“We won’t have a problem I’m presuming?”

“I’ll see what I can do,” he said gruffly, going back to his meal and you relaxed, moving to hug your mother goodbye, whispering thanks to her, before linking arms with Nico and leaving.

--

The next day you awoke to a golden invitation to Olympus, and you smiled, soon. You’d be with him soon.

--

Olympus looked much nicer since Annabeth had gotten involved. You may have been biased but it seemed to hold a sense of home it never had before, the clinical cleanliness now feeling purer and more loving. The throne room however had remained much the same.

You stood alone in the middle surrounded by the arc of thrones, but you refused to take your eyes of Zeus. You had received a wink from Apollo and a smile from Aphrodite as you walked in but beside that it had been eye contact for at least five minutes. You knew better to speak before you were spoken to but the way they surrounded you and stared down on you was bringing up bad memories and you were really fighting a panic attack.

Seemingly sensing this Apollo cleared his throat, “Perhaps we should start father?” While you were grateful a part of you hated how well the flirtatious god knew you, he was the first to tend to your wounds when you first escaped, healing them enough so you wouldn’t die from blood loss but not enough for anyone to suggest he was picking favourites. His warm hands had provided a sense of comfort you thought you had lost entirely.

Zeus nodded slowly, a letter appearing in his hand, “So these are your terms? Transformation into high Fae, permission to live in a new world with visits back to this one twice a year?” you presumed Hades, or your mother had written the letter, neither of them present currently. You nodded clearly, not entirely trusting your voice.

“I guess it’s only fair, but a full transformation will hurt,”

“I’m sure I can take it.” you lifted your chin, holding your shaking hands tightly in an attempt to conceal them.

Zeus laughed, not taking his eyes of you, “I’m sure you can. Does anyone have any major oppositions?”

Aphrodite raised her hand, “I’d like to add that during her transformation, her womb changes shape so she may birth Illyrian children.” You shot her a grateful look, still not entirely sure why she was suddenly so invested in ensuring your happiness, but you wouldn’t complain.

Hera was the next to speak and you fought the urge to roll your eyes, “Why is she getting special treatment again? What did she do that was so different?”

“She was tortured for days!” Athena exclaimed,

“So?” Ares now.

“She was a child, it was brutal.” Apollo jumped to your aid and soon the chamber was filled with shouting voices as they argued over your fate.

“SILENCE.” Zeus quieted the room instantly and every eye turned to him, but he remained focused on you, “Well then? Answer the question girl, what makes you so special?”

You thought for a second before answering, “I don’t consider it special treatment. After the battles I’ve fought and the pain I’ve endured to help your causes, I’d consider it a form of retirement.” You kept Zeus’ gaze and let a streak of the evil Hades had warned you off show, smiling when his smug smile disappeared. He waved his hand, “Very well then, High Fae with altered womb and permission to live in their world and visit our occasionally, that is all?”

You nodded and he assessed you before holding out his hand, his gaze darkening. You furrowed your eyebrows as your limbs started to tingle before pain took over your entire body.

--

You had felt pain so many times before, pain that left more than just physical trauma, but this was different. You felt as if your blood had become fire and every bone was breaking as new ones reformed. You didn’t have any sense of time or place, all you could feel was pain. At one point you thought it was over only to open your eyes, feeling impossibly soft sheets beneath you, and see Apollo hovering over you, sweat dripping from his brow as he took some of the pain away, even for just a moment.

When you finally awoke you were on the ground. You stood up quickly, almost knocking yourself over as your movement were much faster than usual. You were outside a glowing city, it didn’t have skyscrapers like New York, but it was so comforting to look at you felt yourself being drawn in. As you crossed the border however, a beautiful man with dark hair appeared, his eyes narrowing.

“Who are you and why are you trying to get in here?” A shot of fear went through you as you felt his magic, it was thick in the air and powerful.

“I’m not going to hurt anyone, I’m just looking for someone,” you explained, swallowing down the lump in your throat. The handsome man’s gaze turned vacant before softening after a moment.

“I apologise, I’m Rhysand. Let me help you find whoever it is, what’s their name?”

“That’s okay, really. His name is Azriel, but I don’t think he’s expecting me.” Rhysand stopped, his head turning towards you, “what is it?” you asked.

“(y/n)?”

“How do you know my name?” you stepped back but he held out his hands,

“No, no I’m Az’s brother, let me take you to him.” he grabbed your arm softly and suddenly you were standing in a warm room facing Azriel. You felt tears fill your eyes as you stared at him, he uttered your name in question and you nodded running into his arms, completely engulfed by his scent, tears of joy running down your face when you suddenly realised something, pulling away.

“Did you say brother?” you turned to Rhysand, feeling all the plants in the air respond to your calls, when Azriel tugged you back to him.

“Not biological don’t worry.” He whispered and Rhysand laughed.

“I like her.”

“Hmm I was two seconds away from castrating you,” His eyes widened slightly and you laughed, turning back to Azriel as he looked over you.

“How- you, you’re Fae?” His eyes were filled with worry again, afraid he was being tricked.

“I never got my reward remember, I knew I would need it in the future,” you smiled at him as he cupped your face and leaned down to kiss you. You pulled apart, Azriel growling when you heard catcalls, turning, and seeing the room had practically filled. A shot of fear went through you as your eyes landed on another man who had red siphons, and Azriel followed your gaze, a hand stroking your face in reassurance.

“So this must be (y/n), welcome to our home, I’m Feyre,” A beautiful woman stepped forward and clasped your hand in hers, which you noted were stained from paint. Everyone else soon made introductions and they urged you to sit as you found out about this makeshift family Azriel was in.

“Oh! That’ll be Nyx, I’ll go,” Feyre said when a baby started crying in the distance,

“Wait what did she say the babies name was?” You asked, holding in a laugh.

“Nyx?” Rhys said,

“Oh, course, cool cool cool,”

“What?” Azriel asked, looking at you strangely.

“I’ve kind of met her,”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, she’s like the evilest deity there is, and she did not like me,” Rhysand stared at you with a look of shock on his face, but before anyone said anything else, Amren was laughing loudly.

“You must tell me all about these Gods girl.”

--------------------------------------------------

tags: @tastedlikedamnation

[winchesternova-k]

Hey, can you do Star Wars for the fandom ask?

hey! i’d love to!! (it’s been a while since i was hyperfixated on star wars and i’ve only seen the films minus rise of skywalker and played jedi fallen order tho so be forewarned fvgfvg)

blorbo: finn probably. i love him a lot and he had sm potential and they wasted it. also he’s just so Good and brave i love him. his backstory was so interesting and i’m a sucker for ppl doing the right thing even when it costs them big/is at a risk to themselves bc it’s Right and he rlly wants to do the right thing (also he’s the one i rotate in my mind the most when i’m hyperfixated on star wars and the standout character from the sequels for me)

scrunkly: this is so cliche but bb8 and grogu (even tho i’ve only watched the mandalorian through my tumblr dash and gif sets fvgfvg). they both remind me of my dog so i want to cuddle them both anytime i see them (honorary mention to bd-1 for the same reasons)

scrimblo bimblo: hmm i’m not super involved w the star wars fandom atm (i follow several blogs but i have no idea what’s common vs uncommon over there) so i’m gonna say cassian andor bc he was my fave from rogue one and i feel like i never see anything abt him (also bc i’m still not over the fact that when i bought my pop vinyl of him, it was in the bargain bin bc no one wanted him ????)

glup shitto: this one’s rlly difficult bc like i said i haven’t rlly engaged w much media where the characters i’m familiar w are likely to be minor characters or obscure? so i’m just gonna go w leia organa bc i got rlly excited abt her screen time in the first two sequels (even tho it didn’t go so well in the end. looking at u johnson and abrams)

poor little meow meow: i don’t rlly feel like any of the characters i like from what i’ve seen r particularly evil or pathetic (i haven’t finished fallen order yet so my answer might change to trilla bc i find her interesting but i haven’t played to the end to be sure of exactly how i feel/whether she fits this category y’know? sorry!)

horse plinko: yoda. no hesitation i hate that green bitch. he’s so mean to luke i’d LOVE to torment him to give him a little taste of his own medicine

eeby deeby: kyle fucking ron. i hate him sm. he took over and ruined the sequel trilogy and for what? he’s just a murdering, tantrum throwing space fascist and i hate his fans (and reyl0s in particular) for convincing disney that this was a good idea and for making fandom spaces unsafe for abuse survivors and fans of colour in particular (also disney for listening at all. y’all should know and do better). he could’ve been an interesting villain if they (disney) didn’t woobify him and make excuses for fascism but between that and the fandom and making reyl0 canon i hope he rots

sorry for the rant fvgfvg i’m sure my hatred of kyle ron is not a surprise to anyone who’s been following me fvgfvg

fandom blorbo asks

[vidalinav]

girlieee omfg have you started the fouth book????

honestly i’m so sorry for harlow, like of allll the ppl she had to resonate with rahoosh’s lost feral brother?? (Ok that hasn’t been confirmed until the page i’m at but still.... it was the first thing that came to mind when she got kidnapped on book 3) ANYWAY i hope miss dixon turns this aroung bc POOR BBY i like her so much and she’s.... not in a good place at all.... cmon he doesn’t even SPEAK, or shower

anyway, I’m totally alive for all your little fic snippets and ideas, btw, can we all agree there was a moment where cassian just... held himself together for hours and made miss queen of queens come.... so many times when he was done, gave her a smug ass grin and a wink and said “who’s quick at the mark, now?”

Ilyyy

Who is this????? Haha 😂 get off anon we can be besties!

And yes I thought the same with Harlow. I was like out of all people this dirty caveman looking ass is going to be her mate. But I finished it and he’s actually a decent guy. I ended up liking him and what happens in the story I suppose. It wasn’t awful I admit. I’m now on the holiday little fic they have. It’s odd and this loser Bek, I want him straight murdered. I’d tie him to a space craft with giant arrows like aliens come take him. Ship him out y’all.

Also thank you! I have so many ideas up in the dome. And totally would have LOVE to have seen Cassian going at Nesta all night and into the day, in that very DJ Khalid way of

Lol 😂

Ilyyy 2

[key2mym1ind]

ACOSF Part 3: Valkyrie and Part 4: Ataraxia MAJOR SPOILERS

Gwyn makes me so nervous. She's sweet. But she makes me so nervous. Especially after her saying "I dread you and Emerie learning my history. I know that once you do, you’ll never look at me the same again.” That seems skettchhhyyyyy.

"Based on scent alone..." YESS BABY THEY ARE MATTEESSSS

Omigod. Omigod. Omigod. THE HARP OPENS UP THE DIFFERENT WORLD DOORS?!?!?!?

What is with Cassians fucking wings getting fucked up?!?! Also thank GOD SHE HAD THAT FUCKINNNGGG MAGIC SWORD

EMERIE HAS A CRUSH ON MOR I FUCKING SHIP IT SO HARD

Azriels gift for Nesta. I think they just became best friends 😭

Listen. I need someone to MURDER DEVLON PLEASE. Fucking bastard stealing the girls in the middle of the night. Pos. Im so angry.

I totally forgot about feyre and rhys' bargain. If feyre dies then that means Rhys dies but what happens if the baby lives? That means that that poor baby...🥺

Holy shit the blood rite is brutal. But my heart. I'm so proud of them and how much of badass' they as a unit are. I mean the amount of illyrian males they've killed is insane.

....Omigod. Gwyn. 😭😭 Poor poor Gwyn. Im so sorry I ever doubted her. I feel so bad.

Sighhh. Cassian getting caught and winnowed away. I kind of saw it coming.

Emerie and Gwyn made it 🥺 I'm nervous for Nesta though.

She accepted the mating bond in the most badass of ways possible.

OMIGOD. NO. OMIGOD. BRIALLYN YOU BITCHHHHHHHH. I did not see that coming when she took cassian. I forgot her whole thing was to get revenge on Nesta. I forgot and now here we are and I'm sobbing.

Ugh I love that cassian said something funny right after that 😭😭

The sobbing immediately resumed the second Feyres name was said. And holy shit it was deserved.

I'm so glad that it was a happy ending. I know that everyone thinks that someone of the inner circle should have died but I don't. I literally don't think I could handle it. I love these books so much. I'm so glad that we got to see Nesta blossom and that we got to meet Nyx 😭 I'm ready for the next one!!