#portrayal of trauma

[abybweisse]

With how certain parts in the story play out or are portrayed, do you think Yana exploits or down plays O!Ciel’s trauma sometimes? For example, during Noah’s circus arc, that panic attack he has is caused when he was exposed to Kelvin’s doings which triggered his trauma. Yet at the same time, actions like Ran Mao hugging O!Ciel and pushing him into her chest makes him flustered. The interaction doesn’t make him panic in the same way even though he suffered at the hands of both men and women in the cult. I can mostly chalk it up to Yana putting in fan service in when it comes to how he is framed in certain instances or in situations like the corset scene, but overall, is his trauma only there when the plot needs it?

Our earl's trauma on display

I'd say the trauma is there all the time. It's just that much of the time he can somewhat control how he reacts. He regularly suppresses his emotions, anyway, because it's the only way he can move forward on his goals. Consider this part of his act, pretending to be the "better" older twin. He knows real Ciel went through the same ordeals, but he probably assumes his older brother would have faced each new day with all the strength he could muster... if he had survived instead. It's probably on his mind more often than we actually witness, but since he's not the main, title character, we don't see his thoughts as often.

If he were constantly displaying the effects of the severe trauma, he'd pull a revolver on Sebastian when he's called upon to wake up each day. He'd be jumping out of his skin to run away whenever a creep like Druitt showed up. Or crouching down to go into the fetal position and scream. That sort of thing. He'd be too much of a mess to let the plot progress. He wouldn't be able to function very well. Basically, he'd be like he was during the witch arc, until Sebastian was 90% serious about devouring his soul then and there.

Honestly, the series would be hard(er) to read, if we were constantly getting the full brunt of the effect those traumatic events have on him. As a victim of childhood abuse myself, with the repetitive intrusive thoughts and flashbacks I already have regarding those long-past experiences, reading and seeing illustrations of similar ongoing suffering would be somewhat detrimental... possibly. What I experienced wasn't as terrifying or horrific as what happens to him and his twin (though the abuse lasted way longer for me), and I don't have any real triggers. Regardless of what happened to me, I do my best to carry on with the day-to-day, even on days I'm thinking about it more than usual. Whatever PTSD I might have isn't nearly as severe as it could be. A series written that way -- our earl constantly showing us how he suffers from trauma -- would be downright unreadable for a lot of people. Some find it too emotionally difficult, as is, and dropped the series.

I expect that what he mentally goes through, after the abuses, is pretty much the same thing all day, every day. It's repetitive, pestering him, and he has to brush away thoughts about it. He does the best he can to hold himself together. He tries to focus on revenge. On Funtom. On his duties as watchdog. Whatever... to think about something other than that timeframe and those memories. What's shown to us (of the trauma) are the times when it's just too much for him to maintain that composure... as well as what caused the trauma in the first place. I'd say that is quite enough to get the point across.

It's sad that a lot of those scenes are given fan service treatment. Sad mostly because it means there's still a large chunk of the fandom that practically demands it. I'd prefer a lack of glamor and sexualization in those moments. I know a lot of fans would agree with me. But she can't please everyone all the time. And what sells, sells.

[mortaljortlebortles]

WAR, its violin playing cousin STRENGTH and its blonde bobbed mate ANGER

April is my role model and my therapist and Quill, well Quill is how I want to behave naturally.

[syn0vial]

boba fett's childhood is such an untapped goldmine of uncanny existential horror, even before he loses his father.

like, imagine growing up never seeing another child except those that are identical to you—carbon copies in every way, except their heads are shaved, they're plugged into machines all day, and they never stay children for very long. the ones that survive turn into men who look like your father, but your father calls them cattle, cannon fodder.

you're a clone, too. you should be cattle like them, but your father doesn't call you those things. he says you're his real son and that he loves you.

your father loves you. this is what distinguishes you from the cattle and the canon fodder. your father loves you and that's what makes you a person.

and :) then :) he :) fucking :) dies :)

[iaminsideyourwalls]

i don't even ship mediscout but ur art is so funny and cute that every time i see them i'm like :) (also "das fucking magazine bunny is ruining my life!" has been living rent-free in my head. it makes me laugh a lot.)

Thank you! I don’t ship it much either (Red Oktoberfest baybee) but it’s fun to play around with.

(I know Mediscout is kind of divisive—some people very strongly dislike it, which is 100% fine, I have ships i really don’t like, and some people love it—and I think that often comes down to how the dynamic is written. It’s not 2012. We’ve progressed past the need for portrayals of power imbalance with dubious consent or yandere behavior. I’m sick of it. We can go outside talk to our friends for a while and start to portray healthy, happy couples. Y’know, Scout’s nearing 30, Medic’s a sweet person to his loved ones, they’re perfectly capable of a fun relationship with emotional depth.)

Sorry for rambling!

[bbcphile]

Mysterious Lotus Casebook and Complex PTSD Representations: Part I

One of my favorite things about Mysterious Lotus Casebook is how surprisingly nuanced and unusual its portrayal of complex PTSD is. So many shows either introduce character trauma to make the character Sad and Brooding, Angry and Violent (if they’re a villain) or Hesitant to Start a Relationship (if it’s a romance), and that’s usually as in-depth as it gets. If they address the unique after effects of child abuse that lead to complex PTSD at all, it’s usually either explain why a character is a homicidal monster (which is all sorts of problematic) or it’s limited to a single phobia, which can be overcome by the Power of Love, or it’s just something that crops up occasionally for Plot and then forgotten about the rest of the time. 

Mysterious Lotus Casebook gives us two deeply traumatized characters–Li Lianhua and Di Feisheng–who each have clear symptoms of complex PTSD, and yet, their cPTSD manifests completely differently because of the types of traumas that caused it and their relationships to the people causing the traumas. And their manifestations of cPTSD affect just about every level of their being, including their sense of self, their decision-making, and their relationships with others, and it includes some of the incredibly important manifestations of cPTSD that are almost never shown in media while avoiding the most insulting stereotypes! 

PTSD vs cPTSD

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is an anxiety disorder caused by experiencing a single (or short lived) traumatic event (an accident, assault, medical emergency, fighting in a war, etc), where the symptoms last for longer than a month. Symptoms include things like reexperiencing the event (flashbacks), avoidance (of things related to the event), changes in mood (depression, anger, fear, etc), and issues with emotional regulation (hypervigilance–being constantly on the lookout for threats–irritability/angry outbursts, etc.).

Complex PTSD happens if someone has experienced long term, chronic/repeated trauma that induces hopelessness and no chance of escape (survivors of extended child abuse, human trafficking, domestic violence, prisoners of war, slavery, etc.). It’s also often interpersonal in ways a car crash or medical emergency is not, and is particularly linked with chronic trauma during childhood: chronic stress hormones introduce literal physical changes in a growing brain, particularly the amygdala (which processes fear), hippocampus (which is responsible for learning/memory), and the prefrontal cortex (which is responsible for executive function), so it can affect every aspect of life and also affect a child’s progression through developmental stages. In addition to these physical changes to the brain, the prolonged trauma–particularly the helplessness–distorts a child’s sense of self, the perpetrator, and the world in ways that alter their decision making, their memory, and their future relationships. 

For instance, whereas a traumatic event that caused PTSD might make you depressed or not trust the person who harmed you (or to fear driving), the trauma from cPTSD might make you suicidal, blame yourself for your victimization, decide to isolate to avoid interpersonal relationships to keep from getting hurt, or become obsessed with never being harmed again.

Basically, cPTSD has the core symptoms from PTSD with some extra challenges, including issues with emotional regulation, self-concept, interruptions in consciousness, difficulties with relationships, perceptions of the perpetrator, and systems of meaning.

DFS and LLH: CPTSD Symptoms

There’s so much more to say about this than I can cover in this superficial introduction, so this will be the first of a series of metas; I’m hoping to go into more depth about some of these categories in future posts (the DFS and emotional regulation/violence one is already drafted, so stay tuned). 

Difficulties with Relationships (problems with trust, communication, missing red flags): Both DFS and LLH have a history of trusting the wrong people and not trusting the right people, both in the past and in the present of the show: in the past, LLH missed the fact that SGD hated him and DFS missed the fact that JLQ was obsessed with him, and as a result, both sects were destroyed, many people died, and the two almost destroyed each other. If they had communicated with each other instead of fighting at the donghai battle, they might have realized they were being set up and could have worked together, but their difficulties with trust after perceived betrayal made that impossible for them. They both have a history of overlooking red flags in the present–DFS in particular, keeping the red-flag-personified-JLQ around despite her history of poisoning people, including himself–and they both tend to struggle with relationships in the present: LLH runs away from and/or drugs the people who care about him, and DFS sends endless mixed messages by not telling Li Lianhua most of his plans to help him. 

Self-Concept (Self-hatred and self-fragmentation): Li Lianhua is basically the poster child for having a negative self concept: he has an overdeveloped sense of self-blame and responsibility, even believing he deserves to die for leading his men to their deaths, and once he learns he was manipulated and SGD was behind it all, he seems to think it’s his own fault that he was manipulated, lied to, and abused. His self-loathing is so extreme that he imagines his earlier self, Li Xiangyi, to have died, and tries as much as possible to be nothing like that earlier persona. His repeated insistence that Li Xiangyi and Li Lianhua are NOT the same person is reminiscent of the fragmentary sense of self that comes with more extreme trauma, like Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) or Other-Specified Dissociative Disorder (OSDD), where traumatic experiences are so painful that people form different alters, or differentiated self-states, that can have different names and skills and memories and identities. 

Di Feisheng doesn’t have the self-hatred or guilt that LLH does, and it seems like he tries to skip over questions of self worth, blame, or hatred by focusing exclusively on staying true to his code of ethics he’s developed for himself and focusing on gaining the strength necessary to fight for his freedom from mind control and the Di Fortress. But even though he’s kept his Di name, kept his goals the same since escaping Di Fortress, and hasn’t tried to separate himself from his trauma the way LLH did with LXY, he’s even more willing than LLH to take on different identities: it’s literally one of his martial arts skills. The Bone Constriction Skill lets him become someone else for a time, whether that’s a child or Shi Hun. It fits well with his willingness to be whoever he needs to be to accomplish his goals: he’s perfectly willing to be seen as a heartless villain if it lets him protect LLH, and he’s willing to flirt with and pretend to be jealous of JLQ to get information from her, and he’s willing to be LLH’s a-Fei, both with and without his memories.

Interruptions in Consciousness (Amnesia and nightmares for Everyone): LLH and DFS both have nightmares and flashbacks/memories of traumatic events, and as mentioned above, both have interesting hints of having fragmented/fluid senses of self. They both also dissociate, or separate themselves from the present when dealing with traumatic things:  LLH spaces out and gets stuck in his past memories about SGD when talking to FDB after burying SGD, and DFS dissociates from physical pain so as not to make noise both after he’s been stabbed and poisoned with Wuxin Huai and again when JLQ is torturing him in her water dungeon.

They both also have dissociative amnesia that takes away trauma memories, although one is from a poisonous incense plus the magic of qi macgyvering:  LLH forgot the existence of his older brother who died in front of him, and DFS as a-Fei had just about all of his memories (except a few of killing as a child) taken away. Amnesia is a huge part of cPTSD, because it’s the brain’s way of trying to protect you from truths that you might not survive. It can manifest as blocking out one single traumatic event, a bunch of thematically or temporally linked traumatic events, a skill set related to the trauma, or, in the case of something like DID or OSDD, just about everything. It’s endlessly fascinating to me that the show gives us one example of definite traumatic amnesia through LLH, and then seems to almost transform the experience of having DID and being a new part and finding yourself with a new name and very little else into an exaggerated fantasy setting (interestingly, people often report experiencing debilitating headaches when they try to regain memories behind the amnesia barrier). I doubt this is what they were actually going for, since DID is almost universally portrayed incorrectly and offensively in media (one of the alters is almost always portrayed as a serial killer, but that’s a rant for another day), but the different names and the presence of amnesia with LLH made it a fascinating enough parallel that I had to mention it.

 Problems with Emotional Regulation (Lashing in vs. lashing out): Li Xiangyi and Di Feisheng are polar opposites when it comes to struggles with emotional regulation: whereas LXY turns his anger inward, directing it all toward self-hate in what’s often called a “toxic shame spiral,” both after the donghai battle and after he finds out about SGD’s role in his shifu’s death, DFS lashes out physically at those who have harmed him, usually via choking people, although he is usually exerting an impressive amount of control over his emotions and strength. To put in perspective just how different their emotional strategies are and how much effort DFS puts into emotional regulation, compare how much more calm he is than LLH during any revelation of past betrayal or painful information, any scene where they confront the people who have abused them, or any scene where they learn they’ve been wrong about something big; LLH is most likely having an emotional flashback (re-experiencing the emotions from the earlier traumas) and DFS is probably compartmentalizing them or dissociating from them to process later/never so he can stay semi-functional and not show a potential opponent a weak spot. 

NOTE: This means that DFS is loooong overdue for a very dramatic breakdown when it eventually all catches up to him and he can’t distract himself from it anymore.

Perceptions of Perpetrators: In this way only, Di Feisheng has one advantage: he knows the head of Di Fortress is a cruel, abusive tyrant. While he clearly still fears him, even as a physically strong adult (he has nightmares, flashbacks, and dedicates his life to being free from him, which means he still to some extent feels young, small, and helpless when he thinks of him), DFS knows that he hates him and wants to be free of him. This is probably part of why he’s spared some of the self-hatred LLH experiences: he knows he didn’t deserve the abuse because seeing it happen to other children means he knows the abuse wasn’t a personal reflection on him. It does, however, motivate him to want to be stronger and invulnerable so as to never be helpless again, and that obsession is what drives him to have a single-minded focus on reaching the pinnacle of the jianghu.  

It’s so much more complicated for Li Lianhua (and for a more detailed analysis, check out this meta): the childhood perpetrators were manifold–a slew of bandits, whichever children and adults on the street would abuse him for existing and being poor–it probably felt like life itself was to blame. It’s no wonder that when his shifu and shiniang took him in, they were the ultimate rescuers whom he hero-worshipped, so when he felt he made a mistake and his life fell apart, he blamed himself: at least there would be someone to blame that way and something he could do about it (try to kill his past self and hate everything about him). It’s also very telling that LLH doesn’t blame JLQ or YBQ all that much when he learns they poisoned him, and that he’s more angry that SGD murdered their shifu than he is that SGD set him up, hated him, and was the real mastermind behind everything he had blamed himself for; he struggles to stay angry at people who harm him, and would rather blame and hate himself for being tricked than hate the person who tricked him. So, whereas DFS tries to destroy the people who abused him, LLH tries to destroy himself.

If you read this far, thanks! I’m probably going to be posting the DFS and emotional regulation/violence against perpetrator meta next, because it’s drafted, but if there are any of these you desperately want me to talk about more sooner rather than later, let me know! :D 

[crispycreambacon]

S-oar Wounds

— ☆ —

Warning: The fic above contains brief depictions of violence, gore and death. Moreover, the themes of this fic heavily involve trauma, specifically PTSD. If any of the following distresses you, please read with caution or refrain from clicking the fic.

The Professor finally reunites the Sword and the Oar after years of being apart. But can they even be together again after everything that happened to them?

— ☆ —

Fun fact! The Oar's piece is based on "Gifu Road Station: Godo, Nagara River Cormorant Fishing Boat" by Keisai Eisen and Utagawa Hiroshige. Another fun fact! The Oar's palette lowkey looks like the gay mlm flag while the Sword's palette looks like the lesbian flag. How fun! How gay even :3

Anyways, Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!! I hope y'all are doing swell whether you're spending today with your partner, your friends, your family, or you're simply vibing. As for me, I cooked up another fic featuring your favourite gay couple! Don't let the oar pun in the title fool ya, this is uhm. I think you can tell from the warning :D

The fic has it all! We got:

An exploration of the Sword and the Oar, particularly how they grapple with their trauma and how it affects their relationship with each other

Honest depictions of, well, life which can get ugly, and sometimes, they don't know how to handle it, but it's okay! It's part of the process

A really cute friendship between the Professor and the Oars! (Albeit the Professor and the Sword uh. Not exactly wholesome especially at the start-)

Hand-holding! And hugs. And general physical affection to even out the amount of drama radiating from this fic

A happy ending! Because they deserve it god DAMN IT

If all of that sounds like up your alley, you can click here to read the fic, click the title or search "S-oar Wounds" by crispycreambacon on AO3. This was a very interesting and cathartic piece to write, and I hope you get even a fraction of that catharsis while reading it too.

Thank you for showing interest in the fic, and even if you don't end up reading it, I hope you enjoy the art. Have a lovely day, everyone!

[wingedog]

The kraken didn’t kill my dad…I did

[otiksimr]

Sometimes a character's healing arc includes them having to face the reason for why they're so broken, whether it be due to a certain incident or person either or works.

Maybe the incident comes up again, maybe something happens to them or someone else that vividly reminds them of that incident. Maybe the person who harmed them showed up again for whatever reason, either way they react negatively towards it.

They take a few steps back in their progress. They fall back to their old ways. Either way the people around them will do what they can to get them back on their feet even if it takes a little longer.

[tempo-takoyaki]

I was feeling emo so here are some Shen Jiu sketches.

[emotionallychargedtowel]

The Eighth Sense e5 & e6: portraying trauma with nuance

Episodes 5 and 6 of The Eighth Sense have really blown up a discourse bomb in tumblr’s BL scene. I had been putting off watching these episodes because I had gathered that episode 6 ended with something pretty distressing, and stuff like that sometimes hits me pretty hard, especially when it’s left as a cliffhanger. But I was already tempted to rip off the band-aid and watch it anyway, and then everyone has been debating aspects of these episodes. So I just had to see what all the discussion was about and figure out my own take on it.

In case it’s not obvious, the following will have spoilers for the series up to and including episode 6. I have a lot to say about this, because it touches on subjects that have been a major focus for me in my personal life, in my previous work as a trainee therapist, and in my research and writing. But I want this to be a manageable read, so I’m going to put things in bullet form when I can to keep them brief and organized and I’m going to make some section headings to help with skimming or skipping around. But before I launch into the rest, there’s one thing I should get out of the way: I don’t think any part of episodes 5 or 6 are a hallucination, a dream, or otherwise did not occur. I do think that there are aspects of the way the show portrays certain things that indicate dissociation and/or an acute trauma response. I’ll talk more about that below. (Hey, @waitmyturtles, this is the epic TES post I’ve been writing off and on for two days! I hope it’s of interest.)

Here are the section headings I’ll use below, to give a sense of what I’m going to talk about:

Conceptualizing Jae Won: Or, what I think is happening with him

Jae Won’s therapist - comments and interpretations

Jae Won’s therapist - medication management

Human beings’ amazing capacity for self-blame

Interpreting show production choices psychologically

Are the creators of The Eighth Sense going to pull a “who shot JR?” move?

Conceptualizing Jae Won: Or, what I think is happening with him

We don’t know how his younger brother died, but we know that he died in front of Jae Won when they were together, and it’s clear that he blames himself. I would be shocked if he was actually at fault even a little bit. But it does appear to have happened “on his watch” in a sense that lends itself to blaming himself. This is a huge issue, one that I’ll discuss in more detail later on.

Even before his brother’s death, Jae Won was clearly under a ton of pressure from his parents. And his father appears to be emotionally and, almost certainly, physically abusive. This is also far more likely to have pre-dated his brother’s death than to have only developed afterward.

In addition to pressure and abuse, I think it’s pretty clear that Jae Won was a parentified child. This means that he was put in a position of having to take care of his parents’ emotional needs as a child. This kind of role reversal has profound effects throughout the parentified person’s life. 

Jae Won’s self-blame about his brother’s death means he was always going to be predisposed to stay stuck in the chronic version of the acute trauma response instead of moving through the natural healing process. In other words, he was almost certain to develop PTSD.

This is less clearly shown in the show, but my impression is that Jae Won has a deep-seated depressive tendency that existed before the loss of his brother. This would make sense for someone who faced the family-of-origin difficulties that he did. 

When he did develop PTSD, as I have no doubt he did, Jae Won’s existing challenges were going to make him even more likely to develop the depressive symptoms of PTSD than others. We’ve seen some of these in the show already:

feeling alienated from others, unable to form meaningful connections with them,

anhedonia (an inability to feel positive emotions), and

negative beliefs about himself, other people, and the world.

All of this is happening at once. He’s dealing with PTSD, but he also still has all the same habits and beliefs he had before due to the parentification and training in people-pleasing, so he’s supposed to bottle up all of this pain. And if it’s his fault (in his mind) that his brother died, how much more does he owe his parents than he ever did before? This is a distorted, unhealthy way of thinking about all of it, but these kinds of maladaptive thoughts and expectations happen all the time with trauma survivors.

Jae Won’s therapist really sums all of this up very well when she says, “All your worries, not doing what you want to do because you do not want to let your parents down, and trying hard to be a good person to everyone because you do not want to disappoint others. Don’t you think it might be all because of your younger brother? Your younger brother, who got into an accident while with you. Your younger brother, who you couldn’t protect. And you are struggling to live your life for him as well.” 

Jae Won’s therapist - comments and interpretations

I went into this series feeling nervous about its portrayal of therapy. I was very excited that therapy was being portrayed at all, mind you! It’s horrifying how seldom we see therapy mentioned as an option, much less shown, either in BLs or kdramas, and I’ve hoped for this to change for a long time now. But therapy  is shown in an inaccurate way so often in media. And often, we see therapists and other mental health professionals breaking ethical rules. So I was on my guard, big time.

There’s one thing I really take issue with about Jae Won’s therapist, and it’s somewhat of a small thing: her office is way, way too dark! I just don’t think that kind of low lighting, with a lot of the illumination coming from her aquarium and other tinted light sources, is professional or conducive to therapy work. Of course, it’s obvious that her office is lit in this way because it looks cool and sets a certain mood for the show. And that’s fine. It’s a very stylized show in a lot of ways. But it makes me a little tweaky to watch it. 

Some of the things she does in the therapy space with Jae Won are a bit open to interpretation, and could be debated. But I view her in a fairly charitable light, and I found that a favorable interpretation wasn’t difficult to justify at all. I ended up viewing her (so far, at least) as a very skillful and effective therapist.

I loved it when she joked, in the first scene after the credits for episode 1, “For God’s sake! Just tell me what your worries are!” Jae Won isn’t great at sharing. He’s been trained from early childhood not to show his messy, vulnerable emotions around authority figures. Jae Won is not an easy client by any stretch, so she may have been showing a mild version of some real frustration with him when she began that comment with mock-hostility. But he seems really sensitive to criticism, real or perceived. Coming at him directly about this could be risky. Using humor is a good way to get around this sensitivity pretty effectively. It’s worth noting, though, that I wouldn’t endorse this kind of move by a therapist unless they knew a client very well and had built a solid rapport with them.

The comment I quoted above (”Don’t you think it might be all because of your younger brother?”) connects so many of Jae Won’s interpersonal difficulties to the loss of his brother in a skillful way. It was very astute and well-put. But there are some things I would quibble with about it.

First, I’m kind of surprised that she is only saying this explicitly this far into therapy with Jae Won. It seems rather late to make such an observation considering this constellation of issues has, without a doubt, been in place the entire time they’ve been working together. This could definitely have been done sooner.

At the same time, paradoxically, it’s delivered abruptly, as if she blurted it out too soon. Actually, the abruptness comes from the fact that there’s not sufficient lead-up to the comment in their discussion beforehand.

Though the show’s treatment of mental health is strong overall, I think this part of this scene suffered from flawed writing. If I had written this scene, I would have made a change that I think would have resolved both of these issues. Instead of introducing this insight as if the therapist has just voiced it for the first time, I would have presented it as something she and Jae Won have touched on together more than once during their work together. Anyone who’s been to therapy knows that the same ideas, which appear as shocking revelations at first, often have to be returned to many times and worked through before we can benefit from them. She could have said something like, “This is that issue we’ve talked about before, right? It seems like another case of your beliefs about your brother’s death causing trouble in other areas of your life.”

Even better, she could have been shown quoting some kind of metaphor or shorthand Jae Won came up with himself when they’d spoken about this previously. For example, I had a client once who used to talk about metaphorically carrying around a giant, heavy book where he wrote down all of his failures. He described it in a similar way to “the catalog of mistakes” (I’m not going to share his actual wording, of course). Whenever I would use his wording, saying “the catalog of mistakes” or even “the catalog,” all of our prior discussion of that issue came into both our minds immediately. It also served as a reminder of our rapport and the importance I placed on his perspective.

Jae Won’s therapist - medication management

There’s one other area of Jae Won’s interactions with his therapist that is a bit hard to interpret. The exchange he has with his therapist about the amount of medication she’ll prescribe to him certainly seems important, but it’s hard to tell what exactly it means.

One thing that complicates this is the fact that he is receiving therapy and medication management services from the same provider. In other words, she seems to be a psychiatrist who provides therapy services. In most parts of the United States, this is rare (though that wasn’t always the case). I haven’t been able to tell whether this is more commonplace in South Korea.

Because she’s a prescriber and a therapist, asking for three weeks’ worth of medication instead of two also means waiting longer before having another therapy session. Maybe Jae Won really is just busy and trying to cut down on demands on his time, but this doesn’t seem too likely. It’s also possible that he’s seeking a greater quantity of his medication for some purpose, such as abusing it or using it for self-harm or to end his life. But he also could just be trying to put off his next therapy session to a later date because of his difficulty talking about vulnerable topics, something he demonstrates at multiple points in his therapy session. Similarly, when his therapist says she can extend his prescription to three weeks but not a month, because, as she puts it, “I need to do my job,” this could be in reference to the medication or her therapy work. Part of her job is keeping him from having access to too large an amount of medication at once, while another part is having therapy sessions with him (that are frequent enough to be useful). It’s hard to tell which of the two she was referring to, or whether it could be something else entirely. So I don’t think there’s one clearly correct interpretation here. But I do think we should be attentive to the possibility that he might be medication-seeking, possibly with the aim of using the medication for self-harm.

Human beings’ amazing capacity for self-blame

Even if you have experienced trauma or have been close to someone who has, unless you’ve spent time with a sizable sample of trauma survivors, it’s hard to understand just how readily people blame themselves for traumatic experiences. I had had personal experience with this as a survivor of intimate partner violence before I ever did any training in trauma therapy, but I was still totally floored when I observed firsthand just how often this happens and how unjustifiable every single instance of self-blame I encountered in clients turned out to be.

This is actually a big area for me as a researcher so I’m going to try not to go off on a massive tangent, but I think this is important. When we experience trauma, one of the most frequent responses people have is to blame themselves. I used to describe this to clients as a “deal with the devil.” Blaming ourselves allows us to feel like we have control over whether such things will happen to us (and/or those we care about) in the future. If we tell ourselves, “the trauma only happened to me because I did something bad, or something wrong,” then we can also tell ourselves, “but I’ll never do the bad or wrong thing again so from now on I’ll be safe.”

It’s very tempting to make this bargain, but it is an extremely bad deal. Self-blame is one of the biggest reasons some people get stuck in their acute trauma response instead of completing the healing process, resulting in PTSD. That feeling of control isn’t worth that. But human beings are so tempted to make this trade. When I was doing trauma therapy as a trainee, I saw example after example of folks who did seriously remarkable amounts of mental gymnastics in order to justify blaming themselves for their trauma.  I’m going to talk briefly now about a client I had many years ago, without giving any details that could be remotely identifying. This person had witnessed the death of a close friend when they were in combat together. I did prolonged exposure therapy with this person, meaning he had to tell me the story of his friend’s death again and again and again. When we do this type of work, it usually seems at first like the client is telling the exact same story again and again without any real change. But little changes crop up gradually and accumulate and after a while, you find the story has made big shifts. And occasionally, a big change happens.

This client started out telling his story in a way that looked for every possible reason his friend’s death could have been his fault. And wow, was he ever grasping at straws. It was almost as if he had said something as nonsensical as “I had oatmeal for breakfast that day and maybe that’s why my friend died.” Every miniscule decision he had made that day could, in his eyes, potentially have caused his friend’s death in some mysterious and imperceptible way. It would have been absurd had it not been so sad. But thankfully, as we continued the exposure work, his story gradually changed and these justifications for self-blame started to fall away a little at a time.

Then, one day, a crucial detail was added to the story that blew me away. After weeks of telling the story in the usual way, my client mentioned for the first time that just before his friend was hit, he had called out a warning to him, which the friend had ignored. He’d mentioned countless ways he might be to blame--none of them remotely justified--but had never told me about the one very clear way in which he had tried to prevent his friend’s death. When I pointed this out, my client was shocked that he had never mentioned that detail before. We spent a lot of time unpacking what all of this meant. It was the single biggest turning point in his therapy. So, yeah. People have an amazing capacity for figuring out even the slimmest of pretexts for self-blame, and it’s abundantly clear that Jae Won is exercising that capacity big time. I’m pretty certain we’ll find out that he has been blaming himself a lot for what happened while having no real justification for doing so.

(Side note: I have tons more thoughts about trauma, self-blame, victim-blaming more generally, and other related psychological constructs--these are all longstanding research interests of mine--but I’m going to stop here because this thing is already ridiculously long. But if anyone reading this ever wants to discuss any of this further, please feel free to hit me up! I love talking about these things.)

Interpreting show production choices psychologically

Let’s review where we find Jae Won toward the beginning of the show. I’ve talked about how Jae Won had a lot of psychological difficulties before the story started. His family of origin situation was damaging even before he lost his brother, and then he had to contend with trauma and complicated grief. After that, he went through a breakup (possibly due to his partner cheating on him), completed his military service, and then had to make the transition back to civilian life, which isn’t easy under the best of circumstances.

And then he meets Ji Hyun, and his feelings for him unsettle the precarious set of strategies that he’s been using to get by. Ji Hyun makes Jae Won feel tempted to let his guard down and be himself. He places a degree of trust in Jae Won that challenges his cynicism and makes him feel tempted to trust Ji Hyun in return--to trust him to an extent that would normally be out of the question for him. Ji Hyun shakes things up, and while this is mostly a very positive thing--there are a lot of things in Jae Won’s life that urgently need to change--it’s also rather destabilizing in the short term. 

Then the shit starts to hit the fan when Jae Won wakes up after staying out late drinking to hear his father pounding on his door. And the makers of the show start to play around with cinematography, editing, sound design, and other aspects of the show’s production to evoke Jae Won’s inner experience. After his dad pounds on his door, the way the show is shot and edited changes.

This disjointed editing and other distortions of typical filmmaking at this point in episode 5 have reminded some folks on here of a dissociative state, and I can see why. I would agree that it has a dissociative flavor. There are two prominent types of dissociation (which can happen simultaneously):

derealization, a feeling that the world around us isn’t real--it may feel empty, strange, or just plain wrong; and

depersonalization, in which we feel like we’re seeing ourselves from the outside, as if the person we’re observing isn’t us.

It’s tricky to talk about either of these in the context of tv/film because as viewers watching a fictional story unfold in a TV show, we are by definition:

perceiving that the world the characters inhabit doesn’t seem real, because it isn’t

looking at the characters from the outside, because they aren’t us (and they aren’t real)

But there are conventions of film and tv production that give us a sense of realism and of seeing things from characters’ points of view, and when Jae Won is dissociating we see those conventions get suspended or distorted. For example:

Conventional editing creates a flow of time that feels realistic (partly because we learn the “language” of film from a young age and interpret it that way). At important moments in The Eighth Sense, the editing breaks the rules of conventional editing, often messing with the viewers’ sense of time. Contexts change abruptly, as when Jae Won suddenly goes from being at home to being in his car. At other points, dialogue also goes out of sync.

Shot-reverse shot techniques help to approximate seeing things from the characters’ perspectives, situating us in the story so that we don’t feel like we’re observing from a distance. The most notable moment when this rule is broken happens when Jae Won is upset about his camera being damaged. We see him telling someone between sobs that the camera was a gift from his younger brother, but that person (assumably his dad) isn’t shown at all--not even a shoulder or the back of a head.

There’s also a lot of use of shallow depth of field (something the show uses in other ways as well), putting Jae Won in focus while his surroundings become a blur, making the world around him look hazy and unreal.

The sequence where Ji Hyun and Jae Won kiss in the ocean puts their dialogue way out of sync. On my first viewing, this just seemed like an interesting choice, one that gave the scene a sort of dreamlike quality. I’ve seen this strategy used before, as well, without any reference to mental illness, usually in art films. The first example that came to mind for me was from a Godard movie. It would be a valid option regardless of mental health-related content in a show. But after what immediately follows, I think that scene is portraying a trauma memory. Sometimes benign events that happened just before something traumatic become encoded with trauma memories rather than our usual type. (To put it briefly, trauma memories are encoded and stored in a different part of the brain from our everyday memories, and this is why they “behave” differently and have a different sensory quality from typical memories. Trauma recovery often involves some degree of re-encoding these memories in a more normal manner.)

Basically, the show sometimes puts the viewer into an approximation of a derealized and depersonalized state, particularly relative to what we’re used to as TV watchers. At other points, it shows characters’ experiences as if they were traumatic memories.

Are the creators of The Eighth Sense going to pull a “who shot JR?” move?

All this being said, I think that Jae Won’s dissociative moments, while very concerning and doubtless extremely distressing for him, do not point toward any sort of severe dissociative disorder like Dissociative Identity Disorder, nor do they make me concerned that his reality-testing (his ability to effectively distinguish what is and isn’t real) is impaired. I also don’t see any signs of cognitive impairment that would create a similar degree of confusion about reality. As a result, I don’t think the show’s use of signs of dissociation suggests that entire sections of the story will later be shown not to have happened.

Here’s the thing about dissociation. On paper, it sounds like an extreme symptom that approaches the kind of severe mental illness that includes symptoms like hallucinations and delusions. But the vast majority of the time, it’s very different from psychosis. And it’s also, in my opinion, more of a spectrum than we care to acknowledge most of the time. When we look at it that way, we can see that in a sense, Jae Won is at least a tiny bit dissociated a whole lot of the time. But frankly, so am I. It’s not uncommon for trauma survivors. It’s very different from something that would result in impaired reality-testing.

It’s possible that the show will end up revealing that Jae Won’s mental illness has resulted in him imagining entire segments of the show. These types of symptoms are often portrayed in media, for a couple of reasons: 1) people just find psychosis fascinating, and 2) these types of symptoms are very handy for creating plot twists and other interesting narrative devices. It’s not hard to think of examples of this. Fight Club, Black Swan, Shutter Island...the list goes on and on. But these portrayals are almost always inaccurate and exploitative. So far, the folks who make The Eighth Sense have shown a great deal of nuanced awareness of and sensitivity toward mental health matters, so I don’t think they would use this kind of cheap plot device. But they might. If so, I’ll find that pretty disappointing.

There is one thing the showrunners are doing that is somewhat sneaky in a way that’s could look analogous to that. Others have pointed out that Jae Won and his therapist are wearing the same clothes in every therapy scene, suggesting that we’re seeing the same therapy session interspersed with the other events of the series. In other words, the therapy session operates on a very different timeline from the rest of the story. We don’t know where to situate it relative to the rest of the plot. But I don’t see that as tied to the show’s portrayal of Jae Won’s mental health, nor does it seem exploitative or out of left field.

To sum up:

So far, The Eighth Sense has been remarkably accurate regarding psychological matters and has portrayed therapy and the use of psychotropic medication in a mostly positive and realistic light. I get the feeling the writers/directors/etc. have had some experience receiving mental health treatment. I really hope they maintain this level of quality throughout the remainder of the series.

I don’t think Jae Won’s PTSD (or his depression/anxiety) are sufficient for him to experience psychosis. I don’t expect entire segments of the show will be revealed to be an elaborate lie or hallucination, and if they are, I would consider that to be an example of poor writing and an unrealistic and potentially harmful representation of mental illness.

[light-infection]

The irony of people policing others about sexualizing Astarion when Larian games was the first one to do it by making a video of him titled "onlyfangs" that has him shirtless and seductive

[daveyfvckingjacobs]

started rereading a marvellous light to highlight it and I’m being so so so so so normal about edwin john courcey guys I promise

[beetlebabby]

there is no salvation for you, boy

[the-moon-loves-the-sea]

It took me a while to notice that the Encanto gramma predicates them “deserving” the miracle (survivor’s guilt there) on them using their gifts for everyone who asks for help, all day, no rest, and tries to make sure no one in the town ever feels alone or unprotected, but not only is that making the kids feel exhausted and inauthentic and unseen; it’s also making her unable to deal with reality (the miracle faltering); and it’s also probably the reason Bruno felt like his gift was hurting everyone, bc it made the villagers really uncomfortable. At first the way “we don’t talk about Bruno” presents him made me think he was walking around telling people bad news unasked, but then he says everyone kept asking him, they just didn’t like the answers. So the town feeling unsafe around him made abeula feel like they were failing them.

And! The way Pepa tells her part of the song makes it sound like everything was sunshine at the wedding until he said what he said. But her husband corrects her “there wasn’t a cloud in the sky” to “no clouds ALLOWED in the sky.” And then at the end Bruno said “I could see that you were stressing,” which presumably means she did already have a little cloud when he showed up. But every time Pepa shows a cloud Abuela yells at her. She’s even dressed all in yellow with sun earrings, she’s trying to hard to stay sunny for Abuela. So she revised it in her memory to Bruno causing it. But then at the end when he tells her he wishes she would just feel all her feelings, her husband says “I’ve been saying that” and at the very end she’s dancing in the snow.

And at first I thought Mirabel had no gift but she and Bruno have almost the same gift! He had future sight and she has inner sight—she can see the cracks in the house before they appear, she can see Luisa’s trauma visually as she explains it. And at first she seems more determined than Bruno to follow through on her gift, but by the end she followed the same route as him—she ran off convinced she’d failed them. But bc Abuela had been through it already with Bruno she was able to make a different choice this time and follow Mirabel and let her teach her. I wonder if Abuela had inner sight too, since Mirabel seems poised to inherit the rest of her gift—house and candle guardian. She pretends she doesn’t believe the magic is faltering but then privately admits she knows, so is it bc she can see it too and was in denial? Or she just guessed bc of what happened to Mirabel?

The fact that Bruno saw the future still in doubt means the visions were multi layered anyway. And adjusting to free will as it happened. I love that Bruno’s prophecies are fluid like that. How the meaning shifts in response to what they choose. Dolores takes his prophecy and chooses to go get her man, Isabela takes it and gets new dreams of her own. So it doesn’t hurt them. I love how all of them develop so much more dimension to their gifts when they’re allowed to use it for themselves and not just for service! Selfishness!! It’s so necessary! I think it’s one of the best forms of healing trauma!! Bc our idea of selfishness gets so twisted. i’ve heard some people say they wished they hadn’t gotten their gifts back. They thought it would be more powerful if they didn’t, but I think the point is that the gifts are just who they are, it’s not really about them being magic. The house only amplifies the gift.

We never really get to see Mirabel’s moms inner life, which makes sense because that’s how we are with our parents at that age. But I do wonder if she had any adjusting she needed to do..

Also fascinating how Dolores is the one after Bruno who sees how things are most accurately, and she sees how nobody wants to hear what he sees, so she stays quiet about her perceptions about what she hears and just reports what she’s asked for neutrally, almost mechanically (unless it’s a major emergency, lol). Like Mirabel says Dolores will tell everyone, but she never argued with anyone about Bruno being bad even though she knew it was more complicated than that, she never tells anyone she still hears him sometimes, she reports “he wants five babies” with the barest quirk of her mouth, she never once mentions Isabela’s bf is her dream man even though Bruno told her that would happen years ago. Her verse about Bruno is by far the most perceptive but she almost whispers it. And only tells Mirabel things if she’s asked. It's so traumatic to be the one who sticks out, who can’t hide the gift so it antagonizes everyone. But it’s almost as traumatic to be the one who has to stifle their gift and not to use it nearly to its potential because so they’ve seen what will happen.

It’s SO layered and so dang accurate to how trauma plays out generationally and I’ve rewatched it three times and still keep noticing things and WOW. And Dos Origuitas makes me cry. Bc it’s layered too! It’s not just “you’ll transform through trauma,” it’s “the process of transformation may take you away from the people you went through the trauma with, and that’s ok, you have to let each other go and trust the cocoon and that you’ll find each other again after if you can” and that’s a lot!!!

[babylon5]

I love Doom Patrol but the lesbianism in it is not.... enough.... jane spends a season and a half in a situationship with shelley Oops! turns out shelley only wanted to fuck her now jane is with some girl we as an audience barely know and who has zero personality (casey you know i love you though but we did not get enough time with you). the only thing is that the main gay character also suffered the same fate at the end (even if many do not see it that way), but larry got time to actually explore his own sexuality and come to terms with it, time and acknowledgement that jane... really just didn't get for whatever reason. i know they wanted to focus on her trauma, but since sexuality/relationships and that kind of trauma often affect each other, they really could've developed jane's lesbianism earlier than late s3. idk

[papakhan]

honestly though reading the tags on that post is soo eye-opening about how people really feel about the Powder Gangers because you get a post that's basically like "hey what if the powder gangers were portrayed more sympathetically and humanised in Nipton instead of played as a joke" and then you get half a dozen people saying "Swanick serves a good purpose because he proves that the Legion were right to destroy Nipton because it was probably filled with CRAZY PSYCHOS like him so killing him as he runs away is SOOO FUNNY!!!" And the rest of the people in the tags are like "Um Actually having a #Joker Moment is exactly how traumatised people work??? you're misunderstanding the text there's nothing wrong with his portrayal" as if thousands of fallout fans don't just shoot him for the way he acts and the fact that he's an escaped prisoner