#posting them together because these dweebs are all part of the same setting | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dannypuro · 5 years ago

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So I just binged Something Telling and it’s just, so amazing? Like, your characterization is so on point and I just have nothing but nice things to say about it. Can I make a list? I’m gonna make one cause I have Emotions™️ about every one of these dweebs.

1. Grantaire is just, so nice and kind and smart, and not an alcoholic! Like, I love the fics where he deals with that, but it’s nice to see him being a semi-functional adult person. (Was he an alcoholic in this universe at one point?) Plus, he’s still enough of an emotional disaster otherwise. Love him ❤️

2. ENJ VS TECHNOLOGY. I could read about that forever. Swearing in an elevator? Iconic. Never using the space bar? Perfect. Also now I refer to movies as “movings” in my head so there’s that.

3. Combeferre is the sane man of this family and I love it so much. Also I never thought of vaccines for time travel AUs and I genuinely cackled when Ferre brought it up. Like, yeah, that’s a good point.

4. Jehan is always chaotic and I love them for it. Also, I know R doesn’t want to hear about it, but I absolutely want to know what their sex talk consisted of. I’m curious.

5. Baz and Feuilly. Yes. Good. Lovely boys. So glad they got their shit together.

6. “I am wanted by the government for high treason.” Honestly Enj has so many golden moments/lines. He is trying his best and I love him.

7. The PTSD our boy has and how he’ll have to work through it, but he has Friends and Boyfriend to help. (Side note: I live in the US, so I don’t know how much of a thing it might be in Paris, but do they set off a lot of fireworks on New Years? Cause I feel like that would be a thing that Enj would have to deal with, especially if no one tells him about it beforehand)

8. The research you would have had to do for this is just, incredible. And I think you captured how someone would really be if they just got yeeted into the future with no tech experience whatsoever. Like, I’ve been living here since 1994 and I’m overwhelmed by stuff sometimes.

9. Slightly unrelated but I also saw that you did the AU where Grantaire is a baker and Enj is totally not in the mafia (the name escapes me) and I also love that fic.

Hopefully that was somewhat coherent! Seriously though your work is great and I can’t wait for more!

(Also, if you want and it’s not a plot point of the next one, what is Enjolras’s reaction to musicals? I know the boy loves his opera, but someone had to have shown him something on YouTube and I just crave knowledge about this universe) Thanks! 🥰

GUH thank you!!!!!!! thank you thank you!!! and thank you for taking the time to make a list because i thrive off of validation alone and it made my day 🥺. SO.

grantaire is a total sweetheart. like, genuinely a nice person who is trying his best despite the fact that he has a hard time. baby. of course, the funniest part about him is the fact that he has NO idea that he’s actually just like... nice. he’s like... oh man it sure sucks that i’m the worst person possible to help someone in need... sucks that i’m the only one here... sorry dude i’m sorry i’m not combeferre... and then he proceeds to just like. make beef stew and be so careful and kind and thoughtful and try his very best and let enjolras go to sleep on his shoulder during a moving. like... sir. ok. also, yes, i tend to write him a little more... with his shit together, especially in this fic. you mentioned that you read And If I See You In The Daylight (the bakery fic)--i kind of wrote this assuming a similar character arc (minus the bakery, of course. like, grantaire used to be much, much more of a mess in a lot of ways, and drinking too much was a part of that, and he’s slowly been working on it. and now he’s 29, and he’s doing his best, and his friends love him. he’s doing a little better in this fic than in the bakery fic--maybe he’s a little older? maybe because combeferre is a little harsher than jbm and gets on his case when he starts to slip back into old habits? yeah.

ENJ VS TECHNOLOGY. sweetie. baby. the first time combeferre vacuums his apartment when enj is around he’s like “hey man, do you mind if i do the vacuuming?” and enj (has NO idea what that word is, is falling asleep while reading on the couch in the sun) is like “do what you will” and then ferre turns the vacuum on and enjy does that thing when a cat is startled and it jumps like three feet up in the air and puffs up like a squirrel. he’s awake now.

combeferre. baby. he’s genuinely, genuinely trying his best, but it’s fucking hard when you’re tired and overworked and also none of your friends use their brains more than 30% of the time and also your new best friend is a spiky little revolutionary from EIGHTEEN THIRTY TWO. so. um. he’s a little stressed. but he loves enjy so much and doesn’t even mind when he’s dramatic and annoying because he’s such a sweet dude and they’re FRIENDS. sometimes he comes home from a long day of work and enj has come over and washed all of his dishes and brought over takeout but also rearranged all of his books and also eaten like three mangoes. listen. friendship is about gently tormenting your BFF because you are COMFORTABLE AROUND EACH OTHER.

jehan. baby. instagram influencer supreme. i’ve gotten like a bazillion asks about their sex talk--i SWEAR i will write it eventually because the concept of it just cracks me up. jehan is like. “ok. enjy. tell me what you know about sex” and enj is like... “i understand that..... it occurs?” and jehan is like :^/ and enj is like “one must be careful not to contract syphilis from unseemly sources?” and jehan is like “TIme For A Conversation Before Grantaire Messes This Up”

baz and feuilly. babies. they’re just such a sweet, casual couple and they like each other so much. also, first date 3 am kebabs? after they FINALLY communicated? and then baz gets railed like he deserves? they deserve it.

enj has a secret little sense of humor and it’s just a little hidden by the fact that he is 1) repressed 2) awkward. but it’s there! he’s just so smart and secretly funny and grantaire thinks he’s fucking hilarious. except when he jokes about the fact that he’s technically dead. it makes grantaire sad. he’s like YOU’RE NOT DEAD THOUGH BABE YOU’RE EATING JAPCHAE RIGHT NOW and enj is like. “i believe that if you observe my wicky encyclopaedia you shall learn otherwise 🤷” and grantaire is like 😰BABE

yeah. yeah. listen. he’s got a lot of shit to deal with. it’s gonna take a while. like... that is some SERIOUS trauma, and he didn’t even have any time in his own century to process it. he went straight from a very violent event--LITERALLY about to be executed 😰--to being zapped to a time where he recognizes NOTHING. that... didn’t help. and he can’t really go to a therapist (which causes combeferre no shortage of distress) since like... he wouldn’t be able to explain anything about the barricades or the source of his trauma to begin with. so... yeah. but yes! he has friends and a boyfriend who love and support him so much! and it’s the framework he needs to begin to work through stuff at his own pace 🥺 (also, yes, fireworks are a big thing. they’re also big for the 14 juillet, which i... kind of forgot to address. i might go back and write a scene somewhere around ch. 5 for it and post it on here. we’ll see.)

i’m so glad you appreciated the research! 🥺🥺🥺 legit i... kind of spent a stupid amount of time on it. i really tried to make it as realistic as possible (barring, like, the whole time-zap thing, and also the whole “characters from les mis” thing) since the whole POINT is the differences between their two times, so... i’m glad it paid off. it means a lot to hear that u vibed with it.

thank you thank you! again-- And If I See You In The Daylight is the name of the bakery fic, and i also love it 🥺🥺🥺 . to everyone else... READ IT!

enjolras does not like musicals. like... yes, there was a natural progression from 20th century opera to early musicals, but enjolras missed all of that. and 21st century musicals are pretty fucking different from 1820s/30s opera. he can’t quite understand the music. the plotlines don’t make sense. the plots aren’t stupid enough for his taste. they take themselves too seriously. not enough miscommunication. orchestral parts not nice enough. cosette tries to show him a musical on youtube and enjy is like. who is that. why are they all dressed the same. what is going on. why do they not use their Pocket Fones? why does it sound like this. hellp. (she gives up and shows him a Puccini opera instead.)

anyways. THANK YOU! and to everyone else--send me asks! send me prompts! send me questions! i WILL respond to them and i treasure them all i just tend to be kind of slow! but i love to receive them! thank you!!!

#something telling #wholockiantabs

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illfoandillfie · 5 years ago

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5 Simple Rules for a Successful Fake Relationship: The Proposal

Pairing: Ben Hardy x Reader

Summery: Your's and Ben's agents approach you about pretending to date in order to boost interest in your new movie.

Warnings: Nothing for this chapter other than some swearing maybe? Things may get a little spicy in later chapters though.

Words: 5843

AN: This fic was written for El @laedymoon for her 1K celebration! I took the trope 'fake dating' and this was the result! Honestly fake dating is one my my fave tropes and I've been wanting to try my hand at it for a while so this was so much fun to write! Originally it was meant to be a one shot but when have I ever been good at sticking to plans lmao? Instead it'll probably end up as a three or four part series, maybe with an epilogue as well, who knows.

I’d also like to point out I started writing this months before we got those photos of Ben and Olivia so this was in no way inspired by anyone’s theories about whether or not their relationship is a PR stunt and I’m not particularly interested in that kind of talk.

Taglist: @laedymoon @dtfrogertaylor @ezmina98 @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @hannafuckingsucks @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @supersonicfreddie

You’d known fake celebrity relationships were a thing that happened, you just never expected to be approached about one. But, here you were, sat next to Ben in an office usually reserved for producers meetings, a slight frown on his face as he listened to your agents explain how beneficial it would be if the public believed you were a couple. “It’ll be good for the movie,” your agent, Mary, said matter-of-factly, “Studies show that if people – particularly women ages 15 – 45, the exact demographic we’re targeting – believe a real romance sprouted during the course of filming a movie, they are 78% more likely to see the movie. Plus, your names in the tabloids mean more exposure for both of you which means more offers in future, no matter how well this movie does in the box office. It’s all about being seen, people knowing your names.” “Are you serious?” Ben asked slowly, glancing to you, as if trying to determine your reaction. “Look, Ben, obviously we can’t force you or Y/N to do this,” his agent, Peter, introduced to you moments before, said, “the movie has already started filming and everyone appreciates your opinions, so saying no isn’t going to affect your jobs. But,” he paused, making sure the words were getting through to you both, “we strongly recommend you consider it. There are enough pros to make it worthwhile and it would only have to last until a week or two after the premiere. We can give you the rest of the day to think it over and make your decisions, but we will require an answer by tomorrow morning. If you agree, we can discuss terms and get everything in order to run the first story early next week.”

You and Ben left, tempted to laugh at the strangeness of your morning. “Think I need a coffee after that. You wanna come over to my trailer for a cup?” “Yeah, okay, sounds good,” you followed him quietly for a moment, thinking over the conversation you’d just been part of, “What do you think?” “About what? Coffee? You know I love it,” “Not coffee, the whole pretending to date thing,” “Oh that,” you could almost hear his eyes roll. “You don’t think it’s worth it?” He paused. “Saying no won’t hurt my feelings,” you nudged his shoulder, hoping to ease his obvious discomfort, “it is a weird situation.” “Weird is an understatement. And weren’t you with that Luke guy, what would he say about it?” “He’ll say nothing since we’re not seeing each other anymore,” “Wait, what?” “Yeah that lasted like three dates and went nowhere, I haven’t seen him in weeks.” “Oh, sorry.” You shrugged, “What’s there to be sorry for, he was boring. Anyway, we were talking about you and me.” “Right, that.” Ben opened the door to his trailer and waved you inside, following you over the threshold, “What do you think about it?” “I’m not opposed to it. We already spend a lot of our time pretending to date anyway.” Ben chuckled as he flicked the small kettle on, grabbing your two mugs and the instant coffee. “Plus it would be good to get our names out there a bit more. And we're friends, right?” After the weeks of pre-production costume fittings and script read-throughs you certainly thought you were friends and hoped Ben did too. “Of course we’re friends doofus,” “Thanks dweeb. But that means it'll be fun getting to hang out and stuff.” “So, wait, you think it’s a good idea?” “Well it can’t hurt, can it?” Ben frowned, forehead creased, “Don’t you think it’s all a bit, well, daft? As if us dating, real or not, would really have an impact on the movie, I think that’s bullshit. Plus, y’know, the work we’d have to put in to making it seem real or whatever. That’s just inviting extra stress into our lives and extra work which it doesn’t sound like we’d be getting paid for. Acting’s fun but I don’t want to spend every waking moment doing it.” “Well it wouldn’t be every waking moment would it? Just the ones when they had photographers around. They’ll get a few photos of us leaving set holding hands or out having dinner together and spin it into a big romantic story and all we’d have to do is hold hands and have dinner. And you can’t call bullshit when they had actual statistics to back them up.” “It sounds like you’re trying to convince me.” “No, if you don’t want to I don’t mind, but I also don’t see anything wrong with it. And I think you should actually think about it instead of writing it off instantly.” “So if I said I was into it, you’d want to?” You shrugged, “Yeah. I want this movie to do well, I want this job to go somewhere. And if I have to date you to make that happen I will. That sounded better in my head. I just mean that I’m happy to pretend to date you, even if I wouldn’t in real life, no offence.” “I’m a little offended,” he chuckled, “but really can’t argue with that can I?” “If you’re not comfortable with it, say so and we’ll tell them no,” Ben paused, staring at you as he considered what you’d said, quiet for so long you were sure he was going to say he wasn’t interested. You were about to put him out of his misery and tell him you didn’t want to anymore when he spoke up. “They did say it would be good for the movie and out careers,” “Someone’s coming around,” you sing-songed, taking the mug he offered you. “Alright, I admit, maybe not as awful an idea as I first thought. There are…some pros anyway. And I guess we can hear the terms and then make up our minds properly.” “Aww, looks like I got myself a boyfriend,”

The next morning you found out what you were in for if you did agree to it. Once again both of your agents were waiting in the office but this time a third person was with them when you arrived. “Y/N, Ben, take a seat. This is Barry, he’s a representative from Paramount Pictures.” Barry, with his salt and pepper hair and well cut suit, leaned forward in his seat to shake Ben’s hand and then yours with a pleasant greeting. “Well,” Mary spoke up, “have you made a decision?” Ben looked to you before he spoke, “It’s a tentative yes from both of us. We’d like to hear a bit more about it before we fully agree but, so far, it sounds okay.” “Glad to have you on board,” Barry said, reaching into his bag and pulling out a manila folder full of paper. “In that case, the terms,” Peter said, glancing around to make sure everyone was ready, “If you do agree, we’ll need you to sign some paperwork stating you understand your obligations and all that, so take a copy of these,” he took two small stapled documents from Barry, handing you each one, before passing another to Mary, “just so everyone has all the info at hand.” “Are these the terms?” “Yes. Don’t worry, we’ll explain, but it’s all laid out in there if you need clarification.” “There’s more pages than I was expecting,” Ben said, already sounding like it was becoming too much work to worry about. “You don’t have to worry about the last few pages, it’s mostly just legalese. Essentially, you’ll be required to act like a couple in public. That’s really all there is to it, though contractually it’s a little more complex.” “What does that mean?” “We just need you both to agree to perform specific relationship type moments that we can sell. For instance, Y/N, we will need you to be spotted by paparazzi leaving Ben’s apartment a couple of times. Or vice versa. It is the 21st century afterall.” “You mean like a walk of shame?” you asked, glancing at the paper in your hand. “That’s not the official term on the contract but it’s more or less correct. You’ll need to change clothes, make it look like you stayed the night even if you didn’t really.” “Wouldn’t it be more traditional to wear the previous day’s gear?” “Perhaps but if you’re in the same clothes as the day before the paparazzi can’t sell the photos as easily because they can’t prove they were taken on different days. We want to make these photos easy to sell and easy to circulate. To that end, some paparazzi and gossip blogs will be tipped off by the studio and hopefully word will spread as the buzz around you gets stronger.” “There will also be required dates, of course. At least one of them needs to take place at the French restaurant Boucher because they have a partnership with the studio. There is also a clause about an argument, provided people become interested in your relationship and we keep it going all the way to the premiere.” “Wait, an argument?” Ben flipped through his papers, trying to find the right section. “You just have to be caught arguing, or at least looking like you’re angry and about to fight, just so we can sell the whole trouble in paradise storyline.” “People like conflict,” Mary shrugged, “Otherwise all we need is the two of you to act like a couple in public, maybe a few social media posts, from now until a week after the theatre release. After that you’re free to ‘break up’, though you will also need to sign a non-disclosure agreement which will stop you from talking about it for a few years. We’ll organise a few magazines and gossip sites to run stories about the split and, depending on how the public react to your story, may later run some Ben and Y/N, back together question mark type pieces, entirely fabricated of course.” “You will attend the premiere together and, obviously, do press together. We will tell reporters not to ask about your personal lives, so no one suspects the relationship to be fake, though a few questions may slip through. Though we don’t expect this movie to earn any award nominations since it’s not being marketing for any there may be some later down the track. In that case we may ask you to extend your relationship long enough to attend the ceremonies together, provided you aren’t working on other projects at the time.” “The only other requirements are that, a few times a week you allow yourselves to be seen in public. Hand holding, kissing, really sell the whole fallen in love thing. That’s it really.” “And we can’t even tell our families?” “One leak is all it would take to have this revealed. You tell your mum who accidentally lets slip to the neighbour who sells it to a magazine. And if it’s revealed it could be harmful when it comes to box office numbers, which is the exact opposite of what we want. But enough of these have been done so that we know how to manage them, and all you have to do is keep quiet about it and act like you’re in love. Easy. Are you both on board?” Barry, who’d been quiet throughout the meeting, leaned forward expectantly. You already knew what to say, "I’m in if Ben is,” Ben chewed his lip as he skimmed over the paper in his hands again. He sighed and raised his eyes to where Barry sat, waiting. “I don’t know I-” You’d seen it coming, his answer. Really it wasn’t much of a surprise. Ben didn’t strike you as the sort of person to go in for schemes like this and he’d been hesitant from the second it was suggested. You heard him sigh again as his gaze landed on you and you wondered if he thought less of you for wanting to be part of it. “Okay. I’m in.” You were a little stunned by his change of heart but you were the only one. Everyone else in the room seemed relieved and a little frantic, Barry reaching back into his bag, Mary and Peter talking over each other to assure you both that you’d made the right choice. “Glad to hear that, Ben,” Barry was saying as he pulled out another folder of documents, “Now, we’ll need you to both to sign here.”

After shooting was done for the day you accompanied Ben to a small pub for a drink. Mary and Peter had left the meeting on their phones making hurried calls to get photos of the two of you leaving the set together. You’d jumped a little as Ben grabbed your hand before realising why his fingers were linked through your own. It was warm and he didn’t let you go until you reached the pub, the snap of cameras audible as you walked down the street. You found a booth while Ben headed to the bar, returning a little later with a drink in each hand. “One G and T for my girlfriend,” he laughed as he put the drink in front of you and slid into the seat opposite. “Y’know if you told me last week that I’d have had a boyfriend before we finished filming and that it was you, I would have laughed.” “God me too. Our jobs are so bizarre. Literally what other profession would encourage you to pretend to date?” You laughed and pulled out the papers you’d been given that morning, “And who’d have thought there’d be so many contractual requirements.” “We should add our own set of rules. Like just so we’re clear about what we’d be uncomfortable doing or whatever.” “Safewords?” “Get your mind out of the gutter. Christ, you fake ask a girl out and suddenly all she can think about is sex.” “My mind was in the gutter long before we were set up.” He let out a huff of laughter and shook his head, reaching for his glass. “I know what you mean though. We should definitely define some things,” you grabbed your bag and began digging through it for a pen. When you found it, you turned the papers over giving you a blank canvas to work on, “Firstly sex.” “Should have known,” “May as well start with the big one. Rule 1: No Sex. Completely off the table.” you took a sip of your drink as you began jotting it down. “Your wank game strong?” The conversation was interrupted as you choked on your drink, finally recovering enough to splutter, “excuse me?” “Well it sounds like we might be together for a while. Can’t go on any tinder dates or anything since that would look like cheating. You sure you can last that long? “100 per cent.” “Alright, if you’re sure. Rule one, no sex.” You finished writing it down, rolling your eyes, “What about PDAs? We have to do some but is there anything you’d be uncomfortable with?” “I’m not really one for like public make out sessions,” “Thank god, me neither.” “Okay, good. What about cuddling and that kind of thing. Man this is weird to talk about,” “Yeah, is a bit. I can do some cuddling in public but y'know, nothing too much. Hugs are fine, an arm around my shoulders is fine. Holding hands is obviously okay.” “What about an arm around the waist?” “Hmmm….maybe. Yeah, I think I’d be okay with that. But your hand never goes below my lower back. I will have no arse grabs or pinches or hands in my back pocket.” “Wasn’t planning on that but good to know. Does cuddling include lap sitting?” “Absolutely not.” “Okay, strong boundaries, I respect that. You going to write all that down?” “Rule 2: PDAs kept respectable and to a minimum. And rule 3: hands above the belt at all times. What about our families and friends?” you asked as you made notes on acceptable PDAs, “chances are we’re going to have to deal with them at some point since they’re going to think it’s real.” “Okay, um, how about…no meeting anyone unless there’s a reason like a family gathering you’d be expected to bring a partner to. And if that does come up we can work out a game plan then.” “Make sense. Rule 4: No families unless no escape.”

By the time you left the pub, your list of rules tucked into your bag, it was quite late. “Hey, you wanna crash at mine tonight?” Ben asked, “we can text Peter and Mary, let them know so they can organise paparazzi for the morning.” “Tonight? I don’t have a toothbrush or a change of clothes or anything.” “We’ll pop into a shop and buy you a new toothbrush, should probably get you one for my place anyway since apparently you’ll be staying over more than once. And I’m sure I’ve got something you can sleep in.” “And tomorrow? Can’t wear this again in case we get photographed.” “I’ll give you something and then I’ll drop you home in the morning,” he shrugged. “I guess that would work,” “C’mon, it’ll be like a sleepover. Stay up late and talk about boys, have things devolve into a sexy pillow fight, sleepover stuff.” “And you say my mind lives in the gutter.” “That’s not a no,” “Alright, I’ll crash at yours. Closer to here than mine is anyway.” “Awesome,” he grinned at you, “c’mon, this way….babe?” “Didn’t sound so convincing there, Ben,” you snorted. “You should have used a pet name then, instead of my actual one. And I was just testing the waters, what’d you think?” “Babe’s okay. As long as we don’t get into weirdly cutesie things like turtle dove or snookums.” “You don’t want me to call you snookums? How about cuddle bunny? Pumpkin pie?” “Oh fuck off,” “Think you mean fuck off honey bear.” “Rule 5: Standard pet names only!”

As much as he clearly enjoyed teasing you, Ben made sure you had a good time with him. He took your hand again but it was only so he could pull you into the warmth of a small Chinese restaurant. It was one he seemed to regularly visit judging by the way the man at the counter knew Ben’s order straight away. He seemed a little surprised when Ben asked to add extra dishes, eyes darting to your entwined hands, and then back to Ben’s face, but he said nothing, just cheerily gave Ben the new price. “What was that about?” you asked as you walked the last block to Ben’s door, each of you carrying a bag, his full of food and yours supplies from the grocery store, “the look he gave you when he saw me?” “Oh, that’s nothing. I used to go to that place a lot with my ex and then we broke up and I kept going on my own cause it’s close and it’s fucking good food. But, um, they know me pretty well and I guess it’s been a while since I took a girl there.” “Well I’m flattered that you chose me to be part of this touching moment,” you laughed and followed Ben to his front door, taking the second bag from him so he could pull his keys from his pocket and let you in. You’d never been inside Ben’s place before so you let him lead you down the hallway towards the kitchen, taking charge of pulling everything from the bags as Ben got out plates and cutlery. “Oh shit, hang on gotta text Mary and Peter,” You took over dividing up the food as Ben dug his phone out of his pocket. A few seconds after he’d sent the message and put his phone down a ding made him snatch it back up again. “Peter says there’ll be someone here to snap us while we leave. They want us to kiss if possible. Guess it’s really started then,” “Guess so. Can I ask one thing?” “Sure,” he said it slowly, almost nervously. “Why’d you change your mind about this? I thought for sure you’d say no.” “Oh, that. I don’t know, I guess I figured it wouldn’t hurt, especially if it was going to benefit the movie. C’mon, don’t want this to go cold,” You weren't sure you believed him but you let him shrug off the question as you picked up your plate and followed him into the living room. The next couple of hours were spent eating and watching trashy reality tv shows, making jokes at their expense. You and Ben kept talking long after the show ended, until he realised how late it was getting. “Better turn in otherwise I won’t get up in the morning,” he laughed. “Yeah, probably a good plan,” you stretched out on the couch, placing a cushion under your head. “C’mon, I’ll show you to your room.” “You mean I’m not sleeping on the couch?” “Oh my god you’re a dork,” he threw another cushion at you, “I have a spare room you can use.” “Well I didn’t know that,” you laughed as you pushed yourself to your feet, following him back down the hallway towards a closed door you hadn’t noticed before. “Nah, you’re all good. It’s honestly mostly used by my friend Joe when he’s travelling over this way. There’re clean sheets in the linen press in the bathroom which is the next door on the right, and extra blankets in the cupboard just there. Also watch the blinds if you try to close them, they can be a little stiff. If there’s anything else you need let me know, my bedroom is at the end of the hall, near the living room.” “Some PJs would be good, if it’s no trouble.” “Oh right, yeah of course, give me a second.” You dropped your bag in a corner of the room and then popped into the bathroom to grab some sheets. Ben came back with an old t-shirt and some flannel pants. “These are mine so they’ll probably be a bit big but they’ll be fine for the night. And they’ll look good for the camera in the morning.” “Thanks,” “That everything?” “Think so, night Ben,” “Night, snookums.” “Rule five mister,” Ben just laughed, pulling your door shut behind him.

Waking up in Ben’s spare room was mildly confusing. The bed faced a different direction than yours did, the blinds blocked out too much of the morning light, and the sheets felt different. But the previous night came back to you and then the reason you were staying at Ben’s did too. It made you too nervous to go back to sleep, too restless to stay there, so you got up and stumbled to the door, opening it just in time to see Ben leaving the bathroom. “Morning,” he groaned with half shut eyes and sleep mussed hair, “you want a coffee?” “Please. Thanks.” He yawned, acknowledging your answer with a nod and left the bathroom to you. When you were done you found him in the kitchen with a steaming mug of coffee in his hands and a second on the bench in front of him. You took it gratefully, letting the warm caffeine wake you up.” “Breakfast? I can offer you toast or cereal unless you wanna wait for pancakes to cook.” You shook your head, “Don’t normally eat breakfast,” Ben looked aghast, “You know breakfast’s important, right?” “Shhh, lemme wake up before you start lecturing me,” Ben smiled into his own mug, falling silent until you’d downed half your drink, “You good now? Alert?” “Close enough. Please don’t tell me about breakfast though.” “I wasn’t going to. There was another text from Peter this morning.” “What’d it say?” “Well, a photographer will be here around nine-ish ready for us, but they said he’ll stay for as long as we take.” “Okay.” “And, um, he was very careful in how he worded it, but they want us to look like we fucked. Also I told them I’d take you home so there may be someone waiting for us there too, he never got back to me on it.” “Shit, okay. Umm, guess I’ll just wear this then?” you indicated the pyjamas you’d borrowed, “might lose the pants though, help sell it a bit more.” “Yeah, guess so,” Ben cleared his throat and took a sip of coffee, his eyes firmly fixed over your shoulder. “What time is is?” “Uhhhh,” he glanced at the oven, “Twenty past eight.” “God I haven’t been up this early on a weekend in months.” “Not one for farmers markets or anything then?” “Not really. Much prefer lying in bed doing nothing.” “Me too,” “We’re meant for each other,” you laughed, “did you want to have a shower or anything?” “Nah, you can if you want though,” “Might as well wait until I get home. But I am gonna clean my teeth, especially if we have to kiss.” “Maybe mess up your hair too, make it look like you didn’t sleep much.” “Well how could I when you’re such a good lover,” “I know you’re joking but if anyone asks, I’m incredible. You came like three times.” “Did I now?” “Of course.” “Good thing no one’s gonna ask then, don’t think I’m great at lying.” “You’re an actress, Y/N. Besides, it’s not really a lie, I am that good. You just haven’t experienced it personally.” You poked your tongue out at Ben as you stood and headed towards the bathroom again but you did as he’d suggested and messed your hair up as much as you could.

“How do I look?” you ask Ben when you were done. “Gorgeous,” he said, eyes raking over every inch of your appearance from the ruffled hair to the hint of panda eyes you’d manufactured with your eyeshadow to the slightly unbuttoned flannel shirt and missing pants. “But do I look like I’ve been thoroughly fucked?” “Oh, right, umm, yes I think so,” “You do? I feel like theres something missing.” You darted back into the bathroom to look in the mirror again, “Oh! I know. Might be taking it a bit far though.” “What is it?” Ben asked, following you and watching you in the mirror. “What if you gave me a hickey?” “Y/N, I-” “Yeah, I know, that’s a weird thing to ask. Don’t worry, I think we’ll be fine without it.” Ben’s cheeks puffed up with air that he slowly let escape his lips, “no, you’re right, if I’d really slept with you last night I would have marked you up a bit. A hickey will definitely make it look more authentic.” “It’s not totally inappropriate for me to ask?” “No, no, we have to make it look legit, it’s a good suggestion. Here, I’ll uhh,” he stepped in close, one hand tentatively winding around your waist to pull you back against him, the other moving to push your hair aside. His breath was hot as he leaned into your neck. You saw him glance at your reflection, eyebrows slightly furrowed, but then his lips were on your skin, sucking at you until a bruise formed. Your own breath quickened with the contact but you knew it was just because he’d found a particularly sensitive spot and it had been a while since anyone had handled you like that. It was still just Ben and it was still part of your jobs. But all the same you let your eyes slip shut and hummed at how nice it felt. You were almost disappointed when it was over. Ben stood there for a moment, head bent over your neck, long enough to take a deep breath, but then he seemed to collect himself, taking a quick step back. “Will that do?” “It’s great Ben, really ties the whole look together.” Ben returned your smile but it didn’t quite reach his eyes, “Good. Good. Okay then, I’ll umm, what time is it?” “Just after nine,” you said, glancing at your phone, “wonder if the photographer is here yet.” “I think I will jump in for that shower actually, by the time I’m done he definitely will be.” “Okay,” “Make yourself comfortable though, watch some TV or something.” “Alright. Thanks for being so cool about all this. I know you’re a little sceptical about the benefits and everything.” “It’s fine, Y/N, no need for any of that.” He smiled again as you left the bathroom and the door shut behind you, but it still seemed off.

You settled onto the couch to flick TV channels, pausing at a breakfast news show and then at some kids cartoon you didn’t recognise, only stopping when Ben entered the room, clean and dressed. “Hey, I was wondering,” you said, turning towards him, “should I give you a hickey as well?” “No,” You were a little taken aback by how quickly he’d answered. “I mean, I think that’d be overkill. Keep it up our sleeves for next time, yeah?” “Okay, yeah, sure,” “Is he there?” “I think so.” Ben walked towards the window and twitched the curtain aside just enough to peek out, “Yeah, looks like him. Big camera pointing at my front door.” “Okay,” your heart began to beat a little faster, “show time then,” “Show time.” Ben nodded as he turned back to you. “Do we have a plan? I kinda wish I had a script right about now,” Ben laughed a little and you thought he seemed more himself, “I think you should go out first so they can get a good clean shot and then I come out after, maybe with my hand on your back?” “Sounds good,” “Okay, umm, I’ll lock the door and when I turn around you kiss me and then I’ll open the passenger door for you and we’ll drive to your place.” “Don’t bother opening my door. I’m not big into that kind of gesture, plus I think if we were actually being caught by the paparazzi, we’d be getting into the car as quick as possible. Maybe throw a look his way like you aren’t happy about being photographed just so it doesn’t seem too staged.” “Okay, no opening doors, noted.” You shrugged, “I just think it’s a bit old fashioned and unnecessary,” “I’ll keep that in mind for our dates. You ready to do this?” You nodded and stood up, leading the way to the front door. Ben collected his keys and wallet and placed a hand on the lower part of your back, your signal to open the door and step outside. “Kinda wish I had pants on,” you said softly, “It’s a bit brisk,” Ben chuckled as he followed you out, “We’ll put the heating on in the car for you,” he turned to lock the door. You watched him, fingers gripping the key a little tighter than he perhaps normally would, and as soon as he began to turn back around you were moving towards him, one hand thrown around his neck, the other in his hair as your pressed your lips to his. His hand found your back again, pulling you in close as he kissed you back fiercely, as if he were unwilling to let you go after such a good night together, the kiss of a man falling in love. For half a second you forgot it was an act. And then he was gone, his nose brushing yours briefly before there was space between you. You felt a little dazed with Ben looking at you so softly but you took a deep breath and reality came back to you. With another breath your turned and headed towards the car, able to hear the rapid click click click of the camera. You shot a look towards the noise and then got into the car, Ben hopping into the driver’s seat about a second later.

“You’re a good actor,” you said before silence could settle between you, “I already knew that, of course, but the kiss was really good. Almost completely believable.” “As long as it’s believable enough in the photos,” “I’m sure it will be. I think we pulled it off.” Ben nodded, “Yeah. You still chilly?” “Little bit,” He reached over and twisted one of the dials blindly, warm air suddenly washing over your goosebump covered legs, “better?” “So much, thanks.” “I think he might be following us,” “You did tell them we were going to mine, s’pose he’ll be trying to grab a couple of shots of us there.” “Yeah, probably.” “Should we come up with another game plan? Maybe you walk me to my door, we stand there talking for a bit, saying goodbye. I stay and watch you leave before I go inside.” “Perfect. Is another kiss part of the goodbye?” “Careful Ben, you sound almost like you want to kiss me,” you laughed, “but yes, think it needs to be.”

It went completely according to plan. By the time you were getting out of the car the photographer had pulled up outside your house, his camera sticking out the window of his car so he didn’t miss his shot. The camera clicked as Ben took your hand and you led him to your door. “Well, guess that’s it for today. I did have fun with you last night, even if it wasn’t the kind of fun everyone else will think it was.” “Yeah, me too. Happy to have you stay anytime you want to be photographed again. Maybe we’ll get you some PJs that can live at mine though.” “Probably for the best. If this goes well I can see them wanting us to do it again soon.” “Oh definitely. They’ll probably have notes for us so we can get an even better performance next time. You ready to wow them with another kiss?” “Lay it on me, babe,” “Anything you want, snookums,” You groaned but before you could protest too much Ben was kissing you again, softer than before, no longer trying to convince you to stay, just trying to prolong the moment before the goodbye. It left you a little breathless as he cupped your cheek, leaving his hand there when he pulled away. As you opened your eyes you saw him bite his lip and then he leaned in to leave you with a final chaste peck before his fingers slipped from your skin and he was walking away. You let out a long exhale as you watched him go, waving as the car took off. Once you were alone inside, the door firmly shut behind you, you laughed at how ridiculous the whole arrangement was. But at least Ben was a good kisser. Not too firm, not too wet, just the right amount of tongue.��Believable enough to give you butterflies.

#my writing #my fics #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy imagine #ahhhh #this was fun #i hope ya'll like it

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pensive-and-cringey · 4 years ago

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ngl when people are into background characters I usually tend to be curious about it, as someone who loves background characters, sooo...what are your favorite headcanons about them? I'd love to hear how you see them

choco. choco. i actually clicked off the page while I was writing this ask and I lost. so. much. i think I am going to cry.

welp, here's some of the stuff I'm rewriting, it will be much shorter than intended.

-ringo is from new york and he lives with his aunt. she runs a salon.

-ringo really likes slam poetry, especially Denice Frohman. he actually has a very similar accent to hers

-ringo is puertorican

-ringo is the sassy blunt advice friend who is constantly pinching his nose at the dumbasses he is surrounded by.

-ringo likes funk music.

-sandalwood and Cherry crash are fraternal twins. their dad is afro carribian and their mom is from north Africa.

-both sandal and cherry are actually very smart. cherry likes econ and studies things like class and financiers while sandlewood is interested in world religion and folklore and theology, and how that changes across cultures. he is very well-read.

-sandal wood practices witchcraft

-sandal wood always smells good. always.

-cherry raps and sings and plays base. she has a very strong voice.

-sandalwood likes RnB and indie music, as well as soul

-he listens to iyoeka and Erica Badu

-cherry crash is confrontational and action-oriented, as well as impatient. Sandalwood is usually calm, passive and usually sort of measured when it comes to conflict. They clash a lot because of this.

-Valhallen is blind and lives with his grandmother, they are Armenian.

-the neighborhood they live in is sort of run down and in the poorer part of town

-it pretty much gathers around this community center built by Crimson Napalms mom. it’s a like a ymca type deal, she runs after school stuff and clubs and holiday parties and potlucks there. it’s a lot of community organizing. Crimson helps her a lot with it, and he’s sort of set to inherit the job of managing it.

-everyone has massive respect for crimson’s mom

-Crimson is very, very politically active.

-i can’t decide whether crimson and his mother are black/mexican or hatian. Or hatian/hispanic.

-crimson does pyrotechnics! he also has a fireworks license. no he will not help you do dumb shit. he doesn’t want to lose his fireworks license.

-Brawly is white Hispanic and very pale. his family calls him blanco or blanqito

-Brawly can sing. I'm talking opera sing. the boy has pipes.

-he’s on the canterlot varsity weightlifting team.

-You know those bro posts? brawly is those bro posts. absolute Himbo.

-thunderbass moved from a small village in Scotland when he was around 9 or ten

-Thunderbass’s mom is desi, and his dad is scottish

-he’s a dancer! he loves a ton of different styles and does choreography

-Before flash and sunset dated, Thunderbass and Flash were just. theatric dorks together. everyone joked they were married or starrcrossed and they just played it up

-Thunder bass may or may not have a real actual crush on flash. my poor boi piiiiines.

-Microchip is a snarky little shit

-seriously, Mic is very sarcastic.

-mic usually does the maintenance and set up for a lot of the group’s equipment

-Microchip is neurodivergent. he has a lot of sensory issues and gets very attached to inanimate objects.

-he and flash are super close.

mic is kind of like a cat, he just sort of enjoys being in the same room as people he likes.

-flash is everyone’s go to ride

-mystery mint and her mom moved here from belarus when she was small.

-mystery mint is incredibly perceptive about emotions and intentions. not much gets past her.

-mystery mint likes knives.

-everyone calls flash a slut as a joke.

-cherry and flash both have adhd.

-when they all get together, they call themselves the Rocker’s guild. (because they’re dweebs)

Okay! here is a rundown of my favorite headcanons, or the ones I really like that I can think of rn. i have thought. so much. about these characters. this is really kinda the surface and I cannot thank you enough choco for giving me an opportunity to talk about them. I Just, They are a FOUND FAMILY and I LOVE THEM

#eqg #eqg rockers #mystery mint #cherry crash #sandlewood #ringo #brawly beats #valhallen #crimson napalm #microchips #flash sentry #thunderbass

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queeniewritesce · 6 years ago

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Recommendations (1/2)

This was written for a @mrs-captain-evans 2,5K followers Writing Challenge. Congratulations on the milestone and here’s for 2,5K more!

I chose “Well, this is awkward…” as my prompt because as I was scrolling through the options the scene that particular scene just jumped at me.

Summary: Twitter is a strange place. But once in a while, you connect with someone.

Word count: 3,564

Warning: mild language, 35 seconds of angst, could be less if you read it fast.

Warning2: there will be a lot of Trump bashing at the beginning of this story. If you’re offended then maybe this isn’t a story you should read.

Author’s Note: All rules regarding verified accounts and how they behave were taken from Twitter.com.

It all started innocently enough.

Chris had opened Twitter to post a video of Dodger playing with his stuffed lion, knowing his dog was a fan favorite, when Trump decided to give his opinion on a National Geographic article about Global Warming.

GOD, he was a moron. A dumb, squinty-eyed, toupee wearing, orange moron. Chris seethed as he clicked on retweet with comment and called out the man he had the displeasure of calling President.

A few seconds later his notifications started to pop up. He switched tabs to Mentions and Replies where thousands of retweets with GIFs and other memes were pouring in before he filtered the tab so only verified accounts were shown. Mark retweeted his reply, Don wrote a snarky and an awesome comeback, Ellen Page tore the man a new one and an MIT professor he met during a flight home to Boston mentioned him and your account as prime examples of the generation who could make a change. He liked some favorites, retweeted a few others and was about to close the app when a new mention popped up, this time from your account, thanking your mentor and sharing a blurb about being cool because you were now linked to Captain America.

Curiosity got the best of him and Chris clicked on your handle. The header was a picture of Diagon Alley at the Warner Brother’s Harry Potter Tour in London and the picture to the side was of a woman dressed up as a Gryffindor student, wand, scarf and a pointed hat. He noticed you were also a verified account and your small bio read ‘Y/N, 30something.’, ‘You can be anything you aspire to be. I chose to be a nerd’ and ‘Director of Media Studies at MIT’.

That is an interesting combination, he thought while looking through your latest tweets. Chris immediately found your own retweet of the orange moron and he laughed when you called him a dweeb, deeming the man unworthy of being president of your dog’s agility class, much less president of your country. You also quoted him in a series of articles that could be found at the Congress Library website and citing other articles from different countries, asking him to please trade his Rich Richie comics for something an actual president needed to know ‘You know, like Obama’.

You had an incredibly sharp mind for a woman who spent her free time dressing up as a fictional character, he thought before shaking his head when he looked down at his costume. Yeah, better not judge.

Chris spent a good chunk of his downtime between takes that day going through your tweets. Every time his PA called him to block a new scene or to film a close-up, he would carefully lock the phone without closing the app so he wouldn’t have to scroll down again.

Later that day he was back on his trailer resting, they wouldn’t be going home that night till the first Thanos fight scene was over but he was now free of his Captain America clothes and could relax. He took a shower in the small trailer bathroom, put on a loose pair of boxers and picked up his phone again, opening the Twitter app, happy to see it was exactly where he left.

Chris was now looking at your tweets from two years ago. He scrolled down on some retweets, mostly articles about social media and its influence on people, thoughts about the latest Game of Thrones episode, a tweet about watching Captain America: The Winter Soldier again after the results of the presidential election and how it had changed your views of the movie and a trip to London to guest lecture on a seminar in Oxford, with a link to watch your lecture on Youtube. You’re funny, witty, and after watching your lecture on Book to Movies Adaptions: Bridging the Gap in the Fourth Dimension, he realized he was enthralled not only by your pretty eyes and lush lips but also with your mind.

He saw pictures of your adopted one-eyed blue merle Cardigan Welsh Corgi aptly named Captain Hook which you confessed was rarely used because you liked to call him Hooker, calling his name out loud around Cambridge Square just to get a reaction out of people. He laughed long and hard imagining you walking up and down Tudor Street asking if anyone had seen a one-eyed Hooker prancing around.

He worried his bottom lip for a moment before closing the app and opening up Safari quickly founding what he was looking for on his saved links. A new window opened and Twitter.com was now on his screen but instead of the usual @chrisevans handle, the account belonged to @BostonBrains81.

The Patriots logo stared back at him from the top of the page and a random shot of the crowd in one of the home games stood over a simple bio: Boston. Beer. Patriots.

The account he used to interact with his friends back home, like their baby pictures, sign in to various sites and go even crazier over the Patriots than he normally would on his main.

He looked nervously around his trailer before he searched for your handle, clicking the follow button before he lost his courage.

You are now following @Y/H

Was he really going through with this? His index finger hovered over the reply button on your latest tweet, the one where he was also mentioned.

“Ok Chris, you can do this.”

BostonBrains81 @Y/H you’re a lot cooler than Captain America. Wicked answer to the resident Oompa-Loompa, but I gotta ask, you think he knows how to read?

There, he did it.

That had been the first of the many 280 characters conversations you had with each other.

At first, you wondered if he was just a creep that followed you because Professor Travis mentioned you and Chris Evans on the same post; you had gained almost a thousand followers because of that, but they quickly unfollowed you when you didn’t gush about Chris Evans or they realized you didn’t actually know the actor. Not @BostonBrains81 though, he stuck around, commenting on some old articles you shared, liking all the pictures of Hooker you posted and even replied to the one where you shared his name asking if calling out for a Hooker in Cambridge had you stopped for solicitation at any point. You laughed at his joke and decided to follow him back.

The guy, you assumed it was a guy, was incredibly intelligent, always had a smart comeback to your jokes and could make you laugh in less than 100 characters. You shared most of the same views, from politics to music and books, the only point of contention was football. He was probably the biggest Patriots fan you had ever met and you being originally from the west coast was a Seattle Seahawks fan. He told you he had a working buddy who was a huge Seahawks fan as well and they had watched the Superbowl together in Arizona a few years back.

He’d ask you for a new book recommendation every few weeks and confessed his line of work had him waiting around quite a bit. You believed he was a flight attendant because he more than once replied to you from different parts of the country. You wondered if you should let him know the location settings were turned on.

You quickly got into a routine of checking his page to see if he was online that day and a little over two months since you first ‘talked’, you moved on to Direct Messages and conversation become more serious. Thoughts on religion, the #MeToo movement, gay rights, all were candidly discussed and you now actively sought his opinions on some of the subjects you taught your classes.

For a flight attendant, the man had some strong opinions and knew how to keep a conversation going. You chastised yourself for your classism, just because he had a blue-collar job didn’t mean he couldn’t have a sophisticated mind.

Some people are incredibly well educated and never set foot inside a college corridor, you remembered Professor Travis lecturing an advanced Media class you sat as his aide. Take Captain America for an example, I met the young man who portrays the superhero during a recent flight from Atlanta to Boston and I was highly impressed. He could very well be a post-doctorate student here, but he chose to follow his own footsteps to Hollywood and I thank him for it. I quite enjoy the dichotomy he brings to his portrayal of Captain America and Steve Rogers during The Winter Soldier and Civil War. If you haven’t, please watch those movies as we’ll be discussing them in our next class.

Professor Travis had been your theses supervisor and was one of your closest friends, even though he was thirty years your senior. The man had one of the sharpest minds you knew and his classes on Comic Books and the Juxtaposition to Modern Politics was always full, with a waiting list that never got any smaller. You usually sat those classes as his aide and he called on you often to share your views on what the media contributed to the political storm brewing on the horizon and what comic books contributed to that. Captain America had become one of Travis favorite subjects as of late, the whole Hydra and Nazis making a comeback after the last presidential election.

The fact Chris Evans engaged in politics and wasn’t afraid to speak up his mind played a huge part in why you started following him after Professor Travis met the guy. Sure, the man was eye candy to your often-tired eyes but he had a lot to offer than just those huge biceps, that amazing tight ass, and that soft-looking facial hair. You got a kick of his self-deprecating humor and once or twice you had jointed down a few books he mentioned and truly enjoyed them.

It was a really nice coincidence @BostonBrains81 had read them as well.

By the end of summer you were feeling lonely and thinking of asking another professor out. You wanted a male opinion on the idea, preferably one not in the same circle of friends and your best online friend was just the person to ask.

Well, does he make you feel nervous?

No, why would he made me feel nervous? He’s a very nice guy.

See, if you’re not nervous around him that means he doesn’t make you feel anything. If you don’t feel anything for the guy, why waste your time? And a nice guy? God, that’s the worst thing a woman can say about a man. A nice guy is as bad as saying a girl is okay. Is she beautiful? Meh, she’s okay. Does he melt your insides? Meh, he’s a very nice guy.

Seems like you gave this a lot of thought.

I’ve had more girlfriends than… jobs. When I broke up with the last one, I decided to wait for the right woman instead of getting into another destined to fail relationship. There’s no shame in stepping back and deciding you’re worthy of more than just an okay girl.

Or a nice guy.

Exactly.

Being alone is not easy though. We jump from one relationship to the next because we’re already used to the normalcy of having that steady presence in our lives. It doesn’t matter if we know that person isn’t right for us or they might even be prejudicial for us in the long run. The relationship fills a void we don’t like, that feeling there’s something wrong with us because we can’t maintain a partner.

Who let you in my head when I wasn’t looking?

Sorry for getting too deep.

You’re absolutely right though.

Thanks for the talk, no dates with nice guys from now on.

Don’t go for the bad guys either.

Well, that considerably narrows the option pool. Who am I dating then?

How about me?

Good one funny boy.

What’s wrong with me?

Barring the fact that I don’t even know your real name and you could very well be catfishing me, not much.

Catfishing?

You know, trying to make me believe you’re someone you’re not.

You there?

Sorry. Yeah, I’m definitely not trying to make you believe I’m anyone but myself. Name’s Chris by the way.

Nice to meet you, Chris, I’m Y/N.

Your conversations with @BostonBrains81, better yet, Chris, were now a daily occurrence and included questions about your daily lives and personal family stuff, Chris had three siblings, the youngest had been adopted and you spent a whole afternoon discussing the effects of adoptions on both the family and the child, you commended his parents for going through the processes and he opened his heart about normalizing the girl when she first came to live with them but now she was his favorite sister and he couldn’t imagine life without Shanna in it. He told you about moving away from home at eighteen to pursue his dream job, you shared how difficult adapting to Boston was at first but how you couldn’t see yourself living anywhere else now. He confided in you his work had him burned out a little and how much he missed home. Since his location had been stationed in Atlanta for the past three weeks, you deduced he worked for Delta Airlines.

Hey, you there? Can we talk?

Sure, I’m just lounging, you good?

I’m still at work, everyone is being a dick today and I’m having a hard time coping, plus I’m tired and a little cranky.

I’m sorry. Coworkers can be a pain in the ass sometimes, no matter what the field. Have you tried the exercises you told me about?

Yes. More than once. They seem to work for a while but then I have to head back in and someone else decides it’s his turn to be a dick. And now the… execs are here and they want to change some of the stuff that’s already done so that means more work and more dick-headed people all around.

When it’s your turn?

Uh?

Well, since everyone is having a bad day, why can’t you lash out? Be a dick too?

It’s never my turn. Chris is always the good guy, Chris is never a diva.

You don’t need to be a diva to demand respect. Demand respect while being respectful, but put your foot down. The old you get more flies with honey. Do you need to be there?

I’m supposedly done for the day.

So go home, take a bath, sleep in clean sheets. I know how hard it is to turn off work, sometimes I stay in my office for hours after I’m my shift, but it’s not healthy. If they truly need you, they know where to find you.

They do yeah.

Go home, Chris. Pass on the shield.

What?

Like Captain America did in the comics. Let someone else do the job.

Oh. Okay, yeah, that makes sense.

I make a lot of sense when I’m drinking wine.

So your advice comes from your inebriated mind?

I’m hardly inebriated. It’s one glass of wine while reading a book in the bathtub. This is my me time.

I’m sorry for interrupting your naked me time. Thanks for the visual though, it’ll help me with my own time when I get home.

Go home, Chris. It’s the wine’s order.

You were now on a territory you swore you’d never slipped into; flirting with a stranger online. You tried to talk yourself out of it, tried to curb this insane idea manifesting inside your head and your heart, you were a scholar for goodness sake, you taught your students to never engage romantically online, therefore, you should know better.

You most certainly didn’t.

I’d like to take you out for coffee sometime, you could show me around MIT.

Maybe. When you get back from Atlanta, let me know.

How do you know I’m in Atlanta?

Your location setting is turned on.

Is it? Damn.

Yeah, I should have told you sooner. Working for Delta Airlines must nice though.

Yeah… I guess. Blue collar job though.

Don’t be like that, you should not be ashamed of what you do for a living. If it makes you happy, it’s all that matters.

You’re right, I’m pretty happy doing what I do. So, coffee?

Sure. I usually get my caffeine fix from ‘Bean there, Doughnut That’ over at Arrow St. It’s always full of students.

Smart girl, going for a place where you can find a friendly face if we don’t get along.

That, and you could be a serial killer, I need witnesses to remember your face. It’s not like I *really* know you.

I look forward to changing that. I’ll be home after Columbus Day. Could we meet then?

Yes, sure. I want to finally put a face to the man I’ve talking for the past four months. It’s a date.

A date uh? I like that. I like that very much. I hope you like my face when you see it, I kinda have an ugly mug.

I’m sure your face is fine. Besides, I already like your personality and that’s the part I always have trouble with.

Checking Twitter had become your new guilty pleasure and you’d close the app with a frown if Chris didn’t post anything every few days, exactly what was happening right now.

He had been offline for a whole week and you missed your usual banter, his witty sense of humor and how he took to calling you Professor Hottie. The Patriots lost the second game of the season and you wanted to gloat a little but most of all you just wanted to know if he was okay.

Biting your lip, you clicked on the direct message button.

Been a while since you’ve been online, did you get lost on the way back from Boston Market?

I see that you turned off your location sharing. Was I being too stalkerish?

I guess you’re busy or maybe you just don’t want to talk to me. I’ll leave you be.

Had you come on too strong? Did you sounded desperate and scared him off? You read your past conversations and nothing sounded too eager on your part, maybe he just wasn’t interested anymore.

Well, that was that.

You sighed and refreshed your home page one last time, checking your latest tweets and was surprised to see a new Tweet from Chris Evans, another Chris who had been MIA lately.

ChrisEvans Officially wrapped on Avengers 4. It was an emotional day, to say the least. Playing this role over the last 8 years has been an honor. To everyone in front of the camera, behind the camera, and in the audience, thank you for the memories! Eternally grateful.

Interacting with celebrities were never really your thing but you would miss Captain America, you were sure they would have to kill him if Evans would not play the iconic soldier anymore, so you took a chance and clicked on reply.

Y/H @chrisevans thanks for making Cap cool again, you made him justice and gave the tired soldier a new and improved multifaceted personality. We’re gonna miss him.

Satisfied with your chosen words you smiled as you hit send. You got a few likes notification right away, some of your students and MIT faculty retweeted your post, Professor Travis included.

ChrisEvans @y/h thank you. Having people like you and @TravisMIT giving Cap your stamp of approval certainly makes me think I did a good job.

Wide eyes blinked back to the screen when you read his response. He not only thanked you but for some reason he held your opinion to a higher standard? How was that possible?

Your mentions exploded with people asking you similar questions and you had to switch to verified account only to stop the barrage of notifications for new tweets coming through.

Your phone beeped with a new direct message and a small glimpse of hope that your Chris was back made you forget about Evans.

Hey, sorry for the disappearance act, work has been crazy lately. You’re definitely not stalkerish, that title actually belongs to yours truly but I’ll tell you more over coffee. Don’t ever think I don’t want to talk to you, our conversations are the highlight of my days. I missed you a lot these past ten days.

You cocked your head side to side while reading the message, twice, three times, trying to understand exactly what was going on. You should be happy, it was exactly what you wanted to read after being ghosted for over a week.

There was only one problem. The DM did not come from @BostonBrains81. It came from @ChrisEvans.

You hovered your mouse over the reply button but your brain was short-circuiting. You started and deleted dozens of replies, none of them conveying what you were feeling well enough. Deceived. Betrayed.

New direct messages appeared one after the other.

Well, this is awkward…

I can explain.

Please talk to me.

Look, I was stupid for not telling you sooner but doesn’t change how I feel about you. Can we talk? Please?

You’re now blocking @ChrisEvans.

You’re now blocking @BostonBrains81

#Chris Evans Fanfic #Chris Evans Fan Fic #Chris Evans Fanfiction #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #mrs-captain-evans #writting challenge

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winchester-with-wings · 6 years ago

Text

Best $20 Ever Spent (Peter Parker x Reader)

Requested on Tumblr by @book-loving--anime-chick with the prompts:

Catch me if you can!

Stop texting me weird stuff so late at night

Give it back!

Word Count: 1500ish

Summary: You and Peter work at the local movie theater but sometimes have a little too much fun so you don't get scheduled together very often.

Posted this on my Patreon back on the 15th! If you want teasers and early access to my fanfics, consider becoming a Patron! I have 3 tiers at 3, 5, and 10

The managers were seriously considering no longer scheduling you two together.

Even if you asked to work on a Wednesday night for a completely different reason, they were inclined to reject it.

“Peter works that night.”

“So?”

“You distract him from his work,” they’d say.

Sure, you two were best friends and had fun working at the local movie theater but you didn’t really see it that way. The closing duties always got done properly. What does it matter if you had a few laughs and breaks to talk while doing it?

Maybe they saw something you didn’t? Maybe they were listening to you and your best friend Cali gossip about the crew and the rumors about who had crushes on who. You’d hoped that the managers were smart enough to keep the gossip to themselves too. Hopefully, they wouldn’t tell Peter that you had a crush on him.

No. If anything, they were inclined to keep you apart for efficiency. They had to do that with a lot of people too, schedule those who work best together and those that don’t get along or perhaps get along too well…

But they hadn’t officially said no to you and Peter working together all the time. If they had, they wouldn’t have allowed Peter to swap shifts with Ned on Sunday night.

Peter was a tease. He loved riling you up and messing with you. His proudest accomplishment was hiding in an auditorium, waiting in the dark for a solid 5 minutes until he could jump out and scare you. The boy was actually laying on the carpeted ground hiding behind the reclining chairs!

This is probably the perfect example of how you two didn’t work well together.

He probably should’ve been somewhere else doing his job but instead he’d disappeared and gone radio silent, the managers were literally calling for him over the radio and he wasn’t answering.

You were actually doing your job! Ushering the auditorium and picking up trash.

“Y/N!” He jumps out and shouts your name.

“AHH! Peter!” You shout right back at him, throwing an empty cup at his face before collapsing to the ground and covering your face. Your fight or flight complex was actually fight, flight, or fall. “Peter!” You squeal rolling on the ground and laughing. “You almost scared the pee out of me!” Peter hops over the reclining chairs with ease and tries to help you up.

“I’m sorry,” he gasps between his own laughing.

“No, you’re not.”

“You should’ve seen your face!” His laughing is renewed while you get back to work, finishing the auditorium. He’s kind--or perhaps guilty enough--that he helps you by wiping down the recliners.

Later in your shift, you’re texting Cali and telling her about Peter’s latest shenanigans.

“I think he likes you,” she suggests for the thousandth time.

“Nooo he’s just a pain in the ass. He annoys everyone. He’s like that with everyone. It has nothing to do with me,” you respond.

“Don’t put yourself down like that! I really think Peter likes you! You should tell him how you feel!”

“I can’t tell Peter that I like him like that! Then it really will be impossible to work with him. It’ll make it hard to work here and then I’ll have to quit…”

In his typical, annoying fashion, Peter grabs your phone the moment you’re about to set it down. No one’s phone is safe around him. But you hadn’t locked your phone in time either!

“Pete! No!”

“Give it back Peter,” the manager says from their position at Guest Services. He doesn’t listen to them. It was all part of the routine.

“Whoya textin?” he asks, getting ready to scroll through your messages. “Cali?”

“No! Peter, give it back!”

It’s probably a good thing that the theater is absolutely dead on a Sunday night.

“Who does Cali have a crush on? You guys talking about boys?” He wiggles his shoulders and smirks at you. You lunge at him, trying to get your phone back. He dodges you.

“Catch me if you can!”

You engage in a game of cat and mouse running around the theater lobby. He holds it high above his head. You can’t reach it. You pinch his sides and he giggles. Catching him off balance, you two become tangled on the floor in front of your coworkers and manager. Everyone seems to be getting a laugh out of it, including the two of you. But the fact that he still has your phone unlocked and is still trying to read your text messages has your heart racing for a completely different reason. He can’t see those texts! He can’t find out like this!

A guest walks up to box office. You coworker goes back to their position. The manager leaves guest services to come mediate and separate the two of you before making a scene in front of the customers.

“Peter, give it back,” the manager says in their authoritative tone. The managers are usually fun and happy but they’re willing to lay down the law when things get out of hand. Just in time too. Peter scrolls for .5 seconds and then hands over your phone. You lock it right away but you also have no idea what he’s seen.

Your shift ends at midnight. The rest of the night was nice and uneventful with less hijinks from Peter but still fun conversations about friends, school, and summer plans.

Peter has your number. You text quite often too. But never at 2 am when you’re both so obviously tired from working late.

Your phone screen lights up and the vibrations of it on your nightstand wakes you up.

“What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever spent $20 on?”

“Well hello to you too,” you text back.

“...” He actually took the time to send those three dots. “So what is it? Or better yet, what’s the best $20 you ever spent?”

“Uh...my iridescent hombre metal water bottle…” It’s probably not the right answer but it’s all you can think of. You and Cali both bought one on a day off at the mall and kept getting them mixed up so they have stickers on them now to tell them apart. “Now stop texting me weird things so late at night. Lol.”

“Don’t you wanna know my answer?”

“Uh sure.”

“Tonight.”

“??”

“I paid Ned $20 to swap shifts with me so I could work with you.”

That stumps you. What does that mean? Why would he do that? Yeah, you guys had fun working together but you could hang outside of work too. You saw each other at school too. So...why would he do that?

“Lol wtf why?” you send that after realizing you’d left him on “read” for about two minutes when normally you guys respond within seconds.

“Because I wanted to work with you tonight.”

“Why?”

“Because I wanted to see you…”

“Why?”

Then your phone rings. It scares you. Enough that you drop your phone on your face.

“Hello?” you whisper, rubbing your nose. You fluff up your pillow so you’re sitting up in bed, fully awake now. It’s quiet on the other end. “Peter, I swear to god if you’re outside my window and are going to scare me, please don’t,” you beg. You chuckle when you finally hear Peter on the other end chuckling too. “Why are you calling me? What is this all about?”

“Y/N,” he says you name.

“Peter?” you say his name with the intent to make it sound awkward.

“What if I told you that I liked you?”

“Wh--” he cuts you off.

“That I bribed Ned to switch shifts with me so that I could work with you. So I could see you. So I could spend time with you. Because I…” he sighs, “because I like you, ya’know, like that?”

“Um...Peter…” you’re pretty sure your heart has stopped. You’re praying this isn’t one of his pranks. Peter is an annoying dweeb but he wouldn’t do that, right? That’d just be cruel.

“Why are you telling me this now?”

“Um...I might’ve read your texts to Cali.”

“Oh.”

“Do you really like me?” he asks. You don’t answer him right away, making him stew in the uncomfortable silence. “Y/N?”

“I mean, yeah, Pete. I like you. We’re friends.”

“But do you like me? Like enough to date me?”

“Oh um...yeah...I guess.” Peter sighs. Relieved? Happy? You’re not sure. Peter chuckles. You can imagine him running his fingers through his curly brown hair, the same way he does it when he finds that he’s passed a spanish test.

“So,” he sounds smug all of the sudden like he’s smirking at the phone. “Do you wanna go out sometime?”

“Pretty sure I just answered that.”

“But I wanna hear you say it,” Peter teases. You roll your eyes.

“Yes, Peter, I would like to go out with you. But first you have to answer one question.”

“Shoot.”

“How long have you liked me?”

“Oh, yeah...um...it’s gonna sound bad. But, uh, I kinda called dibs the first day you ever worked at the theater. And I’ve been bribing Ned for shifts every couple of weeks too.”

“Oh my god,” you giggle.

“Yeah, pretty silly huh?”

“No. It makes sense. But you know...once we’re dating, management is definitely not going to let us work together anymore.”

“Then I guess we’ll just have to go on a bunch of dates.”

tagging: @faithtrustandpixiedust95 @thinkwritexpress-official @autoblocked @book-loving--anime-chick @abbessolute @overlyobsethed @bookworm4ever99 @whoopxd @therealcap @geeksareunique @potterwolf16 @frankie2902 @ravenhaviland @starksparker @gracehappyfeet @softdudebro @blckthrns

#Peter Parker #Peter Parker x Reader #Peter x Reader #Tom Holland #Spider-man #Marvel #Marvel fanfic #my writing #Fluff #Peter Parker imagine #marvel imagine

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eggoreviews · 6 years ago

Text

Top 10 Lamest Game Protagonists

I’ve already taken a good look at the coolest main characters in games, but now it’s time for the flipside; the most lovably bumbling main characters in game history. Those heroes you can still sympathise with, but it’s difficult to get over just how incurably lame they are. Big note, this isn’t an insult to the characters I list, most of them are perfect little eggs. Hope you agree with these characters I’m about to roast!

Spoilers ahead!

10. Sir Daniel Fortesque (MediEvil series)

To be fair to poor Sir Dan, he spends most of his time trying to make up for how medicore he turned out to be in life. Daniel Fortesque went down in history for leading the charge in the Battle of Gallowmere and felling the evil sorcerer Zarok, when in reality he was hit by the first stray arrow while cowering at the back of the horde. But when Zarok came back and started raising the dead, Sir Dan found himself up and walking also, except now he’s a skeleton and he’s missing an eye and a jaw. He can only talk in muffled noises and has to endure the majority of the characters in the game ripping into him for his prior cowardice. So yeah, unfortunately pretty lame, but his low placement is due to his redemption by the end of his story.

9. Frisk (Undertale)

I know what you might be thinking, ‘But Frisk silent the whole time, it’s all the other monsters that are big ol’ lame eggs’, but no, Frisk is just as much. While they’re silent for most of the game, the very few conversation options you’re given as Frisk tell you just how much of a dork they are as they haplessly befriend everyone they come across in the underground, provided you aren’t doing the genocide route (but why would you?). And while you aren’t given too much detail as to who Frisk is and why they chose to climb Mt. Ebott in the first place, it’s clear from the get go that you aren’t playing the strong, silent protagonist in Undertale. Rather the strong, silent dork type.

8. Pathfinder Ryder (Mass Effect Andromeda)

You may be thinking this is an odd choice, but compared to Commander Shepard from the previous Mass Effect titles, Ryder stands as as a cheesy, bumbling mild idiot of a character. Not to say that he’s particularly badly written, it’s just the fact that he tends to blunder through the majority of his dialogue, and the slightly wonky facial animation present in Andromeda doesn’t help his case too well either. Poor old Ryder, he tried his best, but he just turned out a bit too Flash Gordon.

7. Shulk (Xenoblade Chronicles)

I want to make it clear that I love Shulk with every fiber of my being, and having an over the top JRPG protagonist with a strong English accent was honestly a masterstroke. But who, honestly, can take this man seriously? All you have to do is listen to him scream out the name of the attack he’s performing in unabashed enthusiasm or shouting out random meaningless phrases like ‘I’M REALLY FEELING IT’ to get a good impression of just how much of a total dweeb Shulk really is. But hey, I love him for it, so keep doing you Shulk.

6. Rhys / Fiona (Tales from the Borderlands)

Tying in the sixth spot on my list is the dual vault hunters from Telltale’s spinoff of the Borderlands series. And yeah, they’re both completely lovable losers. On a first glance, it would seem like the hapless, slightly incompetent Rhys is the only lame one, with his terrible flirting and endless supply of awful puns. But no, Fiona is just as lame, it’s just that her lameness is so deeply ingrained in her character she hides it quite well beneath her quips and gunplay. The both of them quibble and argue pretty much constantly throughout the game, but what becomes extremely obvious by the end is that they’re both as bad as each other, and Sasha is the only cool one.

5. Chris (Until Dawn)

The funniest thing about Chris as a whole is how the game tries to establish him as the funny one, but in reality, his jokes are bordering on the terrible and he’s a tiny bit of a laughing stock. To his credit, of the eight teenagers trapped on a snowy mountain being hunted by monsters, Chris is surprisingly one of the most capable survivors, as well as being one of the easiest characters to save. But each time you get round to his parts of the story, you’re reminded of just how noticeably lame he is compared to pretty much everyone else. But you can’t fault him for it, it’s good enough for Ashley! Or, you know, Josh.

4. Pit (Kid Icarus Uprising)

Pit is a big ball of positivity and puts up with quite a lot considering his age and his status as a fledgling angel, but that doesn’t change the facts. Pit is arguably the lamest Nintendo protagonist, even beating out Kirby purely because at least Kirby can wield a cool sword if he succs the right enemy. But Pit is a brash, reckless and tiny angel who can’t fly without Palutena’s help. If there’s ever a Kid Icarus sequel, maybe he’ll finally find his feet and manage to get himself off the ground without his favourite goddess, but until then, he stays pretty firmly on this list. At least until his voice drops.

3. Max Caulfield (Life Is Strange)

I’ll admit right now that the vast majority of photography student Max Caulfield’s lame factor is probably down to the writing. Her careless use of words like ‘bizarro’ and the sentence I never wanted to hear ‘Ready for the mosh pit, shakabrah’ establish fairly quickly that Max is a veritable goldmine of lame. She’s a walking edgy art film stereotype, complete with her ‘quirky’ personality and avant garde interests, topping it all off with a polaroid camera, the edgiest accessory ever conceived. Max has a good heart, using her never properly explained, newfound powers to help people wherever she can, whether that be preventing a suicide or saving the life of her future girlfriend Chloe Price, so Max remains a lovable and brilliant character. But oh boy, is she lame.

2. Sora (Kingdom Hearts)

As the protagonist of a franchise that nobody really knows why it exists, Sora acts as the tenuous bridge between the colourful, family-friendly Disney and the edgy, complicated and wonderful mess that is the Final Fantasy series. But Sora, with his intoxicating positivity, overly-dramatic poses and massive clown shoes, defines lame. God I love him, but there is nothing at all about this character that doesn’t make you sigh a bit inwardly, especially when you consider his constant company of Donald and Goofy. The odd blend of Disney and Final Fantasy in the needlessly epic plot spanning 15 years and many games only serve to accentuate how ridiculous Sora is as a character, so that’s why he’s this high. Plus, he’s far too extra to use a sword, he’s gotta wield a massive key instead. I love this spiky boy.

Before I imprint my face into a desk while talking about my top pick, here’s a few that almost made into the Hall of Lame (haha get it I’m funny):

PaRappa the Rapper (PaRappa the Rapper series)

Kid Dracula (Castlevania series)

Diddy Kong (Donkey Kong series)

Olimar (Pikmin series)

You (Duck Hunt)

1. Sonic the Hedgehog (Sonic the Hedgehog series)

During his inception in the early 90s, Sonic didn’t start out as incredibly lame as he is these days, but what puts him at the top spot is his steady decline into lame territory, which started right about when they started putting him in 3D. Sonic was designed to appeal to the kids of the 1990s and hasn’t evolved at all since, holding the same overly enthusiastic, outdated persona that people either love or hate, in games of varying quality. Everything from his weird anthropomorphic body, his massive eyes, constant shit-eating grin, his strained voice that sounds a bit like he’s always in pain, it all comes together to make this epitome of lame the character hasn’t been able to escape since Sonic Adventure. And it only looks like it’s set to get worse over the horizon with the announcement of a Sonic movie. Most of my love of Sonic comes out of a place of irony, but it’s love nonetheless. May Sega keep milking him until they run out of totally out of place environments to throw him into.

There’s my list! Just to reiterate, this isn’t a post hating these characters, it’s mostly just pointing out aspects of their personality that for one reason or another, put them on the lame radar. Hope you enjoyed, stay hydrated!

#nintendo #gaming #donkey kong #playstation #medievil #undertale #mass effect #xenoblade chronicles #tales from the borderlands #borderlands #until dawn #kid icarus #life is strange #kingdom hearts #sonic the hedgehog #sonic

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bezzuba · 6 years ago

Note

hey stingray.. u should.. talk about.. ur opinions about how hiccup and toothless grow together as a pair over the course of the movies... and also perhaps ur thoughts (again) about how the third movie agrees with or conflicts against ur views on their friendship and their development..

the httyd films do a wonderful job when it comes to showing how hiccup has grown over the course of his friendship with toothless, and it is very heartwarming to see. toothless’ growth, however, isn’t as explicitly displayed and it is easy for many to mistake what is arguably character development / progression for character degradation / deadlock. in this essay, i aim to rectify that by pointing out a few of the many things toothless has learnt and become for the better through his friendship with hiccup.

flskdjf no but for real thank you for sending this in julie! i feel like…a lot of people equate toothless’ ‘softening’ over the years he spends in berk to Domestication™ ( he’s tamed / trained / made accustomed to humans / literally any other related word that is not ‘domesticated’, lads…i’m no expert and maybe it’s just a case of semantics but domestication is an inborn rather than acquired trait that appears over the course of many generations, lads… ) and like. it makes sense! toothless isn’t a human so him acclimatising to living with them sure would count as Domestication™ but. consider this…dragons aren’t humans…but they’re sentient…self-aware…not as much as humans maybe but they’re clearly on a similar level. that softening? to me, it’s not ‘taming’ so much as it is toothless learning that trust and empathy are just as powerful + effective as domination and apathy.

i’m not saying that toothless isn’t not, to some degree and by human definition, tamed. living in a dragon-receptive, enriching environment like berk has absolutely had some effect on things like hunting style, reactions to threats, and cognitive processes in general; the shift in focus from surviving each day to actually doing more than just surviving + the fact that environmental enrichment has been proven to promote brain activity through increased synaptogenesis means toothless literally cannot think like a typical non-berkian dragon. i just. strongly dislike how people think of toothless more as an animal than someone who is simply non-human. the distinction is hard to explain but like. from what i’ve seen, for them, emotional and cognitive growth is Bad. toothless can’t not be the wary, mysterious dragon we see in the first film. he can’t be ‘downgraded’ into a playful nerd who doesn’t immediately harm every human that approaches him.

it. says A Lot about their Edge ( “a character opening up to literally anyone? unacceptable!” ) + their understanding of interesting and realistic characters. like? opposing qualities in a character aren’t? mutually exclusive?? a toothless who is an adorable fucking dweeb and a toothless who is majestic and takes no shit from anyone aren’t! mutually exclusive! they can be! the same toothless! a character! can have more than one (1) facet! god just. this notion that toothless trusting hiccup + berk’s humans enough to be vulnerable around them is somehow inferior to toothless Being Wild And Alone Forever is so! overrated! let jaded characters learn how to be soft and trusting you cowards! let characters who have been lonely for their entire life learn what and how it is to be connected you cowards!

maybe i’m looking too deeply into toothless. maybe it’s because i write him and toothless ( as anyone with self-awareness would ) sees himself as a person, not as an animal distinctly separate from a human. i don’t fucking know but i don’t appreciate it when people narrow toothless, a lovely character with an identity outside of ‘dragon who was befriended by a human’, down to literally just that.

flkdsjg okay enough complaining…more expanding on + gushing about how Best Tier this interspecies friendship is. i’ll try to leave my headcanons out of this but if i happen to not succeed in doing that you can’t blame me for doing what canon was too afraid to do ( which is explain things and make sense )

so first off! can i just talk about how important hiccup and toothless’ bond is, not just to people like me who would fucking kill for more media content with a strong emphasis on platonic soulmates, but also to the characters themselves? i have seen a lot of people make very logical, very probable inferences about toothless being hiccup’s first actual friend but please also consider the idea that hiccup might be toothless’ first actual friend, too!

we don’t know a lot about toothless’ past in canon but there are some things that can be confirmed for sure / with 99% surety:

he was separated from fellow night furies at a young age.

i say this with 100% certainty lmao there is no other way to explain his estrangement with his ‘night fury side’, which in httyd3 is depicted as his keen unfamiliarity with his species’ mating dance.

not the best depiction but i’ll give dreamw.orks a reluctant pass for that because although courtship rituals are genetically hardwired ( i.e. toothless inherently knows what ‘steps’ to take and what to do ), if he hasn’t ever seen one initiated before he probably would not know what to do when one is initiated to him ( i.e. he has no context for these ‘steps’; he doesn’t actually know that they’re a part of a courtship ritual ).

ig there’s also that thing about him not knowing he can harness lightning or whatever, but the fact that the first thing that popped into my head was that mating dance scene when i thought about how httyd3 depicted toothless’ disconnect with his ‘night fury side’ probably speaks something of how much they handwaved away any explanation for that phenomenon + consequently lowered the mnemonic impact of it

he was as much of an outcast in the red death’s nest as hiccup was in berk.

this is said with less certainty than the assumption above it but like. in the first film, hiccup says toothless “never steals food, never shows [himself], and…never misses” and we see toothless destroying human weapons / constructions. it all sets toothless up to be this Ultimate dragon to humans but can you imagine what that looks and sounds like to a dragon who is part of the red death’s flock?

“never stealing food?? what the fuck, courts danger?? do you want to die??? the queen’s gonna eat you what the fuck!”

i hc that she doesn’t eat toothless because she associates his presence in raids with more dragons coming back ( as she should because destroying human contraptions that trap / kill dragons makes it harder for them to. y’know. trap / kill dragons ), which equates to more food being brought back

so she makes one (1) exception for this quietly defiant but very amusing flock-subject

and everyone’s probably aware of that but they’re also like WHAT IF THIS IS THE DAY SHE CHANGES HER MIND BRING SOME FOOD BACK I DON’T WANT TO SEE ANOTHER EATEN!!

“what! are! you! shooting! at! it’s just weird dead-bark and metal! and that’s dead-bark and still-fire, what the fuck at least shoot at human dens if you’re gonna shoot at dead-bark!”

it’s very obvious to us humans what most of the contraptions we see in berk are used for but to dragons? dragons who don’t have the same cognitive processing and are probably too busy trying to gtfo with some food to figure out what this weird human shit does?

listen. we see toothless disarming humans. the dragons see toothless doing something they don’t understand for reasons they don’t understand.

HM DOES THIS SOUND FAMILIAR

okay he probably wasn’t an outcast per se but he was. definitely avoided.

basically, toothless was alone just like hiccup was!

so yeah. they changed the world with their friendship but their friendship absolutely changed their worlds first. that fact alone is delicious enough but then you look at what their relationship is actually like and god! finally_some_good_fucking_food.jpeg

i love! the comfort! the faith! the trust! the ease in which they touch and calm and talk to and fly with and sleep on and just…be with each other. we don’t see it much in httyd because duh, prologue but. there’s this sense of…complete and utter security in their bond by the time httyd2 comes around. they know each other so well. they love each other so much.

hiccup, completely unafraid of the plasma blasts detonating dangerously close to his fairly immobile, very vulnerable form. hiccup, trusting in toothless’ faith in him as he splays a simple hand out to stop him. hiccup, “TOOTHLESS!” / “HEY! you left my dragon back there! he can’t fly on his own! he’ll drown!” / “we have to head back for my dragon!”

toothless, willing to support hiccup’s decisions even if they are stupid af. toothless, trusting in hiccup’s judgement and ability to defuse situations where he would have exacerbated them. toothless, so ready to shield hiccup from harm from anything or anyone.

hiccup, terrified for toothless even as he grieves for his father. hiccup, ignoring drago, ignoring the bewilderbeast, pleading one more time for toothless. hiccup, willing to die reaching if only to have toothless reach back. hiccup, “please. you are my best friend, bud.” / “my best friend.”

toothless, sensitive to hiccup’s upset and wanting so badly to make it go away. toothless, waiting as the haziness becomes clearer, waiting for the touch, the face, the voice. toothless, willing to fight “the strength of will over others” to reach back. toothless, “he’s challenging the alpha!” / “to protect you!”

god there’s so much more but if i listed every single detail about their friendship as observed in httyd2 this answer wouldn’t be ready for posting for like. at least a week

and even before they reach that stage, those decisions in httyd that go from hesitant to confident…

hiccup, tentatively trusting this dragon to eat the fish and not his fingers. hiccup, sticking around because he’s got no better place to be in and no better company to be with. hiccup, reaching and reaching and reaching.

toothless, wary and mistrustful but willing to give this human a chance. toothless, mimicking hiccup rather than completely disregarding him or chasing him off. toothless, slowly…cautiously…hopefully…reaching back.

hiccup, throwing his cheat sheet to the wind and relying on instinct and trust alone. hiccup, standing tall under astrid’s doubt and saying with full conviction: yes. hiccup, casting his helmet and viking status aside because he can’t not see a bit of toothless in every dragon now. hiccup, jumping onto a burning ship with no goddamn fucking hesitation to free a trapped toothless. hiccup, falling into the fire of his own creation, into the end of a centuries old war.

toothless, putting his faith in this human who has never once flown in his entire life and then putting even more faith in this human who quite literally throws caution to the wind. toothless, climbing out of the cove not for himself but for hiccup. toothless, going against instinct and swallowing his fire because hiccup screamed “NO!”. toothless, terrified for his hecking life but willing to “stay with me, buddy, we’re good, just a little bit longer” and “hold, toothless…NOW!”. toothless, falling into the fire with hiccup, determined to make this the end of one thing only.

PLUS SO MUCH MORE. these are only from the first two films alone; gotnf gives us even more Good Content and i’m just! fuck! i love two dweebs! i love hiccup and toothless so much!

and now for specific character growth / developments that i will never get over…i won’t talk about hiccup because i am nearing 2000 words BUT TOOTHLESS…LISTEN. toothless never used to drink “have mercy on others” juice. he never used to drink “don’t shoot or maim or otherwise injure when provoked” juice. he never used to drink “give others a chance because everyone deserves a chance” and “not everyone is out to kill you or hurt you or take everything you love and cherish away from you” juice. but after bonding with hiccup? he’s hooked! he’s so hooked! he is more willing to lean into faith rather than doubt! he is more willing to believe in an after rather than a never! he is more willing to compromise rather than overlook! he is more willing! to empathise!! i’m so emo!

i already talked a bit about how he comes to trust enough to be vulnerable ( i.e. not constantly guarded / cautious ) around berkians and like…can you imagine how big of an achievement that is for someone like him? for someone who has been alone for so much of his life? for someone who knows what it’s like to be forced to be vulnerable for someone they don’t trust at all? I’M SO! EMO!

HICCUP FINDING STRENGTH IN TOOTHLESS? TOOTHLESS FINDING STRENGTH IN HICCUP?? MmMmMm that’s some good shit ( Good Shit ) right there!!

i have…a lot more screaming about their friendship + love for each other to do but i’m tired and you can tell so i’ll wrap this up with some more opinions on httyd3′s Bad Tier handling of toothless’ character and the consequent portrayal of his bond with hiccup! i know you’ve already read it julie but if anyone who’s read to this far hasn’t already seen it…maybe take a peek at my first essay™ here…

i haven’t seen the final movie in a while so my memory of it might be a little shit but i’m glad that they at least maintained some element of that gentle ease / security / comfort we see in httyd2. definitely not as much as i’d hoped, but i would’ve been able to deal with that — maybe even justify it — if they hadn’t also insulted hict.ooth’s friendship for the sake of a ‘love at first sight!’ romance i can’t get behind multiple, multiple, MULTIPLE times.

i failed to address this in my first httyd3 critical post BUT LIKE. the way EVERYONE acts like and states that toothless ignoring / dismissing hiccup was a very natural, logical consequence of him being interested in the light fury ( which he. defs would stop being after she nearly killed what is literally half of him oh my goOoOod ) was so! fucking! insulting! to not only hiccup + toothless’ bond, but also to almost everything this franchise stands for and the characters themselves!

after six years of seeing hiccup and toothless interact with + love each other, do you really think HICCUP’S FRIENDS would say “well, what did you expect?” to toothless leaving?? do you really think that they would imply that toothless only stayed with hiccup because he didn’t have a choice? ‘maybe they don’t understand the weight of their bond, stingray’ AFTER SIX GODDAMN YEARS OF SEEING IT DEVELOP AND DEEPEN??? and maybe they don’t but surely they understand how important toothless is to hiccup and wouldn’t make a callous comment like that RIGHT?? god i’m so ready to throw hands at dreamw.orks for having astrid say “he didn’t have any reason to” to hiccup’s “he didn’t leave before” i am sO r e A d Y

also just the fact that IT’S IMPLIED THAT TOOTHLESS ONLY STAYED WITH HICCUP BECAUSE HE DIDN’T HAVE A CHOICE / ANY REASON NOT TO?? it’s so gross what the heck dreamw.orks why bring gotnf up if you’re just going to retcon it i don’t understand!

httyd3 is a good movie in that it is very evocative, has an insanely lovely colour palette + insanely amazing soundtrack, and tries its best to give a satisfying ending to “the friendship of a lifetime”. i love it and will absolutely be rewatching it so many times when it’s released on blu-ray, but it’s not perfect and i could go on and on and ON about the tragedy that is toothless’ characterisation.

flskdjg okay i’ve run out of steam now so tl;dr:

thank you so much for asking for my opinion so respectfully julie this was a delight to see in my inbox + a delight to answer

i love toothless and hiccup

I LOVE TOOTHLESS AND HICCUP

I LOVE! TOOTHLESS! AND HICCUP!

i am never getting over my love-hate for httyd3

#stucanje #* dragonscale / study.#* humanspeak / ooc.#wrow this is.#2.6k words long i'm #you can see my articulation and thought process just slowly deteriorate over the course of this post flskdfj #but i will stand by everything said here...#the beginning and ending is a bit. salty #but i don't. think it's too much salt!#* humanspeak / answer.#long post #httyd3 spoilers #this deserves to be in my hict/ooth tag so in it goes!#* alone: we are good / together: we are BEST.

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softboyholland · 8 years ago

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junior prom?

it’s prom season

and peter is annoyed

just because ned got betty to go to prom w him, he’s been so smug and all

like a lil shit

and he keeps trying to tell peter that he should ask mj to prom but like

pfttt thats ridiculous

r i d i c u l o u s

mj, on the other hand has allowed herself to fall into the downward spiral of falling in love with peter parker

if a cliff was ‘falling in love with peter parker’,

she has willingly thrown herself off that cliff

it was fun at first, obsessing over observing peter

now it’s just plain frustrating

because the whole acadec team has grown on her

and they’re all forcing her to go to prom

esp cindy, she has a soft spot for the girl

but she doesn’t really want to go to prom and watch peter get all over some other girl

what other girl, you may ask?

she’s heard them whispering, peter and ned,

ned constantly telling peter that

“you’re so into her!” “dude, you’re crushing hard!’ “man, this was worse than liz!”

and peter always replying with

“no!” “i’m not in love with her! that’s ridiculous, ned! ridiculous.”

mj didn’t buy his stupid shit excuses for a second

there was a damn lucky girl out there that peter was in denial of liking

and michelle isn’t stupid enough to let herself even think for a second that said girl might be her

bc rlly??

so two weeks to prom right

and peter actually does want to go

and he decides to ask michelle to prom

he doesn’t have a crush on her or anything ok

he just happens to not want to go with anyone who isn’t michelle jones

and who does that leave him with?

michelle motherfucking jones.

it’s not his fault that he has butterflies in his stomach whenever she teases him

or that he gets a teeny bit turned on at times whenever she has that badass look on her face

you know, that look

or that he really wants to hug her and never let her go whenever she hears him and ned say something extremely nerdy and dorky and proceeds to crinkle her nose and laugh

peter is sure 99% of the human population feels the same way he does whenever they talk to michelle

bc she’s so perfect

but like in a friend way, of course

so one day peter is being a flake

and he was supposed to be at his house for a sleepover with ned and mj like a half hour ago

so he’s trying to unlock his door but he hears pop music blaring through his apartment

and when he opens the door he does a double take

because what the fuck

michelle, aunt may and ned are all hopping on the couch and jumping around

and karaoke-ing ??

???

MICHELLE?? WYD HONEY?? HE HAS NEVER SEEN HER EVER SINGING OR DANCING TO A POP SONG.

OR EVER DANCING FOR THAT MATTER

peter is sh00k

also holy wow, he always knew she could sing

but he’s only ever heard her humming or quietly singing along to songs

and because he’s a dweeb, he decides that this is the perfect moment to prompose

while ned is rapping to jay z’s part in a beyonce song

and aunt may is cheering him on

oh god this is embarassing

and michelle is singing beyonce’s solo

fuck

so in true peter fashion,

he opens the box of cupcakes he got that spell out ‘prom?’

drops to his knees during the chorus

“be my date?”

michelle is shoOK

aunT MAY IS ABOUT TO GET A HEART ATTACK

NED IS CONFUZZLED

IT ALL HAPPENED SO FAST

WHAT IS GOING ON!!

and everything is silent

except for the instrumental of beyonce’s ‘upgrade u’ playing in the background

oh my god

what

“yes.”

MJ IS ON A HIGH

but then

oh no

peter just saw her singing and dancing to beyonce

petER PARKER

aka boy she is hopelessly in love with

but maybe he’s too distracted w the thought of taking her out to prom

and then ned brings up the idea of taking photos with the cupcake

and may looks so excited

that she isn’t really annoyed

but peter tries his best to make her annoyed

so then the next day cindy is gushing

she’s like so excited!!

and mj is so excited too

she is sucked into getting ready at betty’s house w cindy

but they both look so happy

it’s not that bad

but then flash laughs at her in the hallway and holds up his phone

‘man, you two nerds really deserve each other. this is overly cheesy, even for parker.’

then she realises that ned posted the photos on instagram

by lunch, she’s ready to crush ned’s phone with her bare hands

but the two dorks aren’t there

so she pulls out her phone

and her heart melts

there’s this one photo of the three of them

ned is super close to the camera, only his eyes can be seen

michelle is in her pjs, holding the cupcakes

peter is holding the side of her face with his left hand and he’s smushing they’re faces together with the stupidest smile on his face

michelle takes a screenshot of the photo and sets it as her homescreen

then peter shows up with his lunch tray and a bright red blush on his face

they sit in silence for a while

“so, am i going to see more of your alter ego, pop superstar, singing and dancing extraordinaire, michelle jones?’

michelle groans

peter is smiling happily at her

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monotype-on-phantom · 8 years ago

Photo

Alrighty, time to cover the recurring male background characters that I’ve caught up to TUE. Unfortunately, while there are 7 recurring background students with names who are girls, only 4 of them are guys. There’s also Spike, but he only ever shows up once.

To make things easier on myself, I’m splitting up the guys a bit more randomly. There are some shared traits between them to help me keep track of things (for example, most these guys aren’t shown hanging out with specific groups of friends and none of them are ever invited to A-Lister parties), but for the most part, there’s no real method to my madness.

So here we have Stan, Adam, lumpy, convention kid, gap, mullet, overbite, and unibrow. I did my best with these nicknames. Some of these guys were harder to pick out defining traits for.

The only reason I’m covering Stan first is, well, he’s the only one with a name. Tucker calls him “Minimum-Wage Stan” in 13. Now, that name could’ve just been a random one Tucker threw out. But since concession employees wear name tags, I’d say it’s probably his real name.

You could debate whether or not Stan and the background character above really are the same person. There are some slight differences in their design. This look is so unique and the differences so minor, though, that I’m concluding they’re the same. Even the background character above has his hair randomly switch between orange and brown, so that’s a thing. Plus, Stan here knew Tucker by the nickname “Bad Luck Tuck,” so he must go to Casper High.

To sum these first few paragraphs up, these two aren’t undeniably proven to be the same person. That’s just my conclusion, and you’re free to disagree if you feel the need to.

Anywho, I’ve stalled long enough, so let’s talk about him.

If these two are the same character, 13 tells us that Stan works at the movie theater concession stand. That’s the only time he’s shown speaking.

Aside from that, Stan seems to be a quiet, mellow kid. He doesn’t get angry easily, and he mostly keeps to himself. An example of this is in 13, when Tucker accidentally sets a bunch of bees loose and they attack the students. After school, a large group hangs around to glare at Tucker. Stan is there, but while everyone else looks angry, he looks more just sad.

He’s most likely friends with the tired looking jock (as shown above). They’re standing in line to get a refund together and they’re also seen together (high fiving because their parents are gone) in Pirate Radio. He might also be friends with mullet, but the one time they seemed to be interacting was in My Brother’s Keeper, and they’re just looking at each other with really depressed faces. I’ve seen him a couple of times with Star’s braces friend, but they weren’t really interacting, so that’s all I’ve got.

The classes I’ve caught him in are Danny’s math class and his health sciences class. He was also present in Splitting Images when Poindexter is handing out free soda and he’s one of the kids in Pirate Radio preparing to storm the ghost ship.

I should make it clear that this kid’s name is never stated to be Adam. I call him that because the trait I recognize him by is his Adam’s apple, and just saying “Adam” is simpler. Though if you want to call him by that name, that’s perfectly fine. There aren’t any characters in DP with that name already, as far as I know.

Despite his stereotypical nerdy appearance, Adam seems pretty confident and friendly with some cool people. Specifically, he’s shown interacting with Star’s group a few times. He dances with braces girl at the school dance in Parental Bonding, and after the dance, he’s chatting with Star, Brittany, and Ashley. I’ve also caught him a couple of times with the Johnny Test look alike.

I’ve also seen him hanging out with lumpy quite a lot, as well as another background character I call “big guy” (who will be brought up in the next post).

Adam is fairly outspoken and not at all shy. He’s not afraid to say what he thinks, though intense studying for standardized tests does intimidate him a bit.

The classes I’ve seen him in are Danny’s math, astronomy, biology, and health sciences classes. So, he shares quite a few classes with Danny. He was also seen at the party in Pirate Radio, and in Doctor’s Disorders the power he gained looked like ghost rays.

Let’s get this outta the way real fast, the nickname “lumpy” has nothing to do with how he looks. I got that from the line in Claw of the Wild where he mentions the oatmeal is “gray and lumpy, just like [his] grandpa!” I considered calling him gray, but that might’ve gotten confusing since that’s Valerie’s surname. So lumpy it is.

Lumpy is similar to Adam in that he seems to have no fears. In fact, he’s probably even more outgoing because he has the largest number of friends out of everyone on this post. The background characters I’ve seen him with are Adam, gap, mullet, green stocking cap, Brittany, Johnny Test, blue stocking cap, and a few I haven’t talked about yet. He was rocking out at the party in Pirate Radio near Adam. I also noticed he went redhead in Fanning the Flames. I’m not sure why, but I guess it was part of his Ember fan look.

The only class I’ve caught him in is Danny’s math class, though he was also taking the CAT at the same time as him. In Doctor’s Disorders, the ghost power he had was the ghost sense. Judging by his enthusiastic statement in Claw of the Wild, he may be close to his grandpa.

I’ve talked a bit about the convention kid briefly before, so you may be somewhat familiar with him. He’s usually very calm, even when the situation doesn’t call for it. For example, when the roller coaster flies off the tracks, he doesn’t react much outside of holding his arms out to catch a couple of kids in front of him. I’ve also spotted him making this face a lot:

It seems to be his default non-reaction to things he doesn’t know what to make of. That doesn’t mean he can’t be surprised, though. Obviously, he was shocked when comic book characters came to life at the convention he went to in Reality Trip.

Speaking of which, convention kid seems to like going out to exciting places for fun. He went to the convention all the way from Amity Park (like Tucker had been planning on doing), and he went to the carnival in 13.

The people he seems to hang out with the most are Tiffanie and Nathan, though I’ve also seen him having lunch with the non-sports athletic guys and Star’s glasses friend. That’s all I’ve got for him, though.

I haven’t seen him in any classes, though he was taking the CAT at the same time as Danny. That’s all I have on him, unfortunately.

I debated calling this guy “x” for his shirt, but gap (for the gap in his teeth) seemed to work more as a nickname.

I haven’t picked up a ton on him, though he seems to be a really cheerful guy since he’s shown smiling a lot of the time. He’s also one of the kids who’s shown laughing at Danny the most when he gets stuck in an embarrassing situation. He’s one of a few genuine Ember fans, since he screamed “she rocks!” when fleeing the music store she took over in Reign Storm. He could just be an enthusiastic person in general, though, since he was the one cheering the hardest for Jack and Maddie at the dance in Parental Bonding.

I’ve seen him hanging out with lightning, green stocking cap, and bangs of the non-sports athletic guys. He was also seen with lumpy in Splitting Images. There was also a time he had lunch with Adam, bangs, and a few guys I’ve yet to talk about. The people I’ve seen him the most with are bangs, lightning, and the guy I mentioned before that I call “big guy.“

I haven’t caught him in any classes, so I’ll leave it at that.

Getting screenshots of mullet is tough because I haven’t ever seen him front and center. Still, I’ve gotten a decent amount of information on him.

He seems to be a very chill guy. He doesn’t deviate from the above expression a lot, but he’s not a grump. He seems happy when Tiffanie’s chatting with him in the lunch line and when Poindexter’s handing out free sodas in Splitting Images.

Mullet’s usually shown from the back, walking down the halls by himself. It seems like he’s not very sociable, but he does have a few friends. I’ve seen him with big guy, lumpy, green stocking cap, and two other guys I haven’t mentioned before. He’s clearly fond of Tiffanie because of his smile when talking with her. He was paired up with Ashley for the health sciences project, but I haven’t seen them together outside of that.

He hasn’t shown up in any classes or at any social events.

I mentioned that overbite might be related to Dee Dee because of their similar appearances and the fact that they’re fleeing ghosts together in Public Enemies. Outside of that, his only notable “relationship” is his huge crush on Paulina, but she doesn’t pay any attention to him. The only person I’ve seen him close to being friends with is the character of indeterminate gender (who hey, is standing on his right in the above picture! Nice.)

Overbite is clearly considered a dweeb by his peers, but not the point that he gets bullied a lot. It’s more like they ignore him, but it doesn’t look like he usually minds or even notices. He showed up at the party at Danny’s house and seemed to have a good time.

He shares a few classes with Danny, such as math, astronomy, and health sciences.

Unibrow (though you could also call him basketball since he’s not the only one with a unibrow), looks like the least social of all these characters. I haven’t seen him with any friends. In fact, he’s almost always by himself or at least mostly separate from the obvious groups. He still went to the party in Pirate Radio, but that’s the only time outside of Fanning the Flames that he’s seen at a social event. He may like basketball, though his shirt could also just be something cheap he got or a hand-me-down.

It’s possible that his unibrow isn’t actually a unibrow, since a few times he seems to have a space between his eyebrows. Those could also just be times he’d plucked, though.

The classes he shares with Danny are astronomy, math, and health sciences.

The only other thing of note about him is that he looks eerily similar to the background character sitting next to Danny here. That character isn’t seen anywhere else, so I assumed they were the same person. Unibrow is clearly much taller than this kid, though, and his style of clothing is pretty different (as is his hair color.) Idk. Maybe they’re related.

#danny phantom #background characters #stan #cast

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oneweekoneband · 8 years ago

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Look at these dweebs with these yellow outfits and mullety, spiky hair. How young and innocent. I think this is from March 2006, about five months after debut, so their ages range from 18-22 in this. I’m going to helpfully use it to introduce them to you! It’s a long post, but there’re a lot of members; bear with me.

1) Yesung (Kim Jonghoon). Best singer in the group, at least for the first several years. Has not been taking care of his voice, got vocal cord nodules, got them fixed, didn’t improve his technique afterward so is probably going to get them again. Known for doing his “octopus dance” whenever he is prompted to dance solo. Says that Super Junior is not actually friends, but they succeed as a group because they have good working relationships with one another. This is patently not a statement blanketly applicable to everyone else in the group.

2) Kim Ryeowook. Currently #2 best singer in the group according to your writer. Maknae, if you can still call him that, now that he’s 30. Is a tiny elfin little man who wears comically high lifts in his shoes. Tends to generally strike me as “your weird little brother,” and in defiance of his general image, has a history of performing the most “adult” solo songs in Super Junior concerts. Is possibly the least successful member of the group at looking or acting “tough” and “hard.” He is currently in the military (all South Korean men are required to complete around two years of military service at some point).

3) Kangin (Kim Youngwoon). Singer with a voice that’s consistent but not too exciting, kind of like the person you see at work every day who greets you in the exact same way each time. Probably the most successful member of the group at looking and acting “tough” and “hard”. Got in an actual bar fight in self-defense and has two DUIs. After the first one, they sent him to the military; after the second one, he’s on what seems to be perpetual hiatus. Not sure if they are ever going to let him participate again. I have mixed motherly feelings about whether he should ever be allowed to.

4) Lee Sungmin. Singer and sometime featured dancer. The cute chipmunky one who does lots of Chinese varieties of martial arts, and also the only one who is married. Despite being the most traditionally “cute” one, he’s struck me for some time as the most serious member. Some part of the fanbase is mad at him for being married, and for blatantly prioritizing himself and his fiancé/wife over ELF. Even his mom thinks he deserves it. Could he have been more sensitive about it, almost definitely, but does it merit ELF insisting that he not be allowed to participate in anything, and SJ/SM bowing their heads and acquiescing? Iiii don’t really think so. Do these things happen because SM thinks the hardcore semi-aggressive Korean fans (#notallKoreanfans) are all that remain or all that matter, and if they leave, there will be nothing left? You have lots of international fans who are much more chill, you maroons.

5) Kim Heechul. Singer and occasional rapper. Does not normally have hair this spiky. Is well known for running his mouth on TV, on all of the TV actually, and for looking like a girl. He doesn’t really do the girl bit much anymore and sanded off some of the rougher edges of his personality after coming back from the military, probably because being in the military gave him enough free time to grow up a bit. Basically went from “asshole” to “jerk with heart of gold”. Has several cats, loves Anna from Frozen, and is friends with lots of women in Kpop. Had a nasty car crash in 2006 that shattered his left leg, and it never healed quite right; dance routines are hell on it and he’s admitted that it’s caused him significant worry and shame as Super Junior prepares for their latest comeback. My second-place bias.

6) Leeteuk (Park Jeongsu). The oldest member and leader of the group; better at dancing than at singing. (tw: violent crime) Publicly struggles with depression, and this terrible thing that happened didn’t really help. Is a strong big brother who really works hard to make sure the group functions as one. Is simultaneously someone who has a tendency to say sexist crap.

7) Eunhyuk (Lee Hyukjae). Lead dancer and lead rapper. Bestest of the best friends with Donghae. Has the gawkiest face and compensates for this by doing the sexiest dances. Was acting leader of the group while Leeteuk was in the military, which coincided with a huge argument in the fandom about Zhou Mi and Henry, and he ended up having to make a statement about it at a concert, and then later when Leeteuk was back, Eunhyuk did an angry solo song and dance in the next tour about how fake fans would never understand him. I’m sure that wasn’t related at all!

8) Shindong (Shin Donghee). Secondary dancer and rapper, and occasional SJ music video director. Does a lot of hosting on TV in his spare time and was a comedian before joining SJ. Is the “fat one” of the group, and has therefore participated in many, many embarrassing fat jokes. Not embarrassing that he’s fat, just embarrassing for whoever had the idea, that they kept putting him in those situations. His weight has seesawed around for the last several years, but he says fat girls are gross, so that pretty much makes him an ass. Don’t be an ass.

9) Kim Kibum. Rapper and maknae. Went on hiatus in 2009 to focus on his acting career, and never came back. To be honest, probably the member of SJ that I feel the least about, because even prior to 2009 he was not a super-active member of the group musically; he didn’t feature much on songs, and he wasn’t in any of the subunits. His contract expired with SM in 2015, and therefore I don’t technically count him as a Super Junior member anymore. He has a surprisingly beefy neck in some videos, and had better English skills than probably anyone else in the group while he was still active as a member.

10) Han Geng. Former lead dancer. The only non-Korean member of the original 12, he is actually trained in 56 traditional Chinese dances. His Korean speaking skills were notoriously bad, which made it awkward every time they went on variety shows. Was visibly a lot more comfortable on Chinese TV. Eventually SM worked him so hard that he developed kidney problems, so in 2009 he sued SM, broke his contract, and went back to China, where he went on to have a successful acting and performing career. If this sounds familiar, then I’ll mention that I think EXO was originally intended to be a reboot of Super Junior, which makes it ironic that they had the same issues.

11) Choi Siwon. The “face” of the group. Probably the most famous member of the group to Western audiences, as he has appeared in a Jackie Chan movie! and got killed in it! Has a lovely chiseled masculine face and is rather tall and has many abs. Does more acting than any of the other members, to the extent that he sometimes does not appear in the dance portions of music videos because he didn’t have time to learn the routine. Always tours with Super Junior though and is as committed as everyone else. Also is super-mega-evangelical Christian and says he wants to be a missionary when Super Junior retires. Recently went through this scandal regarding his dog, in which I mostly want to shake Siwon by the shoulders and yell at him a lot. Is not on hiatus per se, but is skipping promotions for the new album.

12) Lee Donghae. Singer, dancer, occasional rapper, and bestest of the best friends with Eunhyuk. Known for acting like kind of a dope, and also for looking a lot like Amber from f(x), or vice versa. Lots of people ship Eunhyuk and Donghae because they are so close, and they ended up having to adamantly refute it on Chinese TV when the presenters started teasing them. Third-place bias because look at that faaaaace.

But that is not of course everyone, because that’s only 12.

13) Cho Kyuhyun. #1 best singer and #1 best bias thank you. Joined the group in 2006, because he had already been set to “rotate in” before SM decided to scrap the rotation concept altogether. “Evil maknae” because he likes to give the older members shit. I’ve seen subtitles of Korean shows call him “pessimistic;” I think “grouchy” might be a better word for it. Was involved in a terrible car crash in 2007, along with Shindong, Leeteuk, Eunhyuk, and Heechul; Kyuhyun nearly died and his voice was only spared because his father spoke up for him. He spent most of 2015-2016 promoting his technically-great-but-also-really-corny-and-boring ballad EPs (I hate that anyone even had the idea for this concert series) and I suspect he was getting burned out much like Heechul was; Kyuhyun is in the military now and I’m optimistic that he’ll come back refreshed. I wrote a much longer thing about him, which you can read here if you’d like. Suffice it to say, I identify with him a lot.

14 & 15) Zhou Mi & Henry Lau. Listed together even though obviously they are separate people, because they are the two controversial members of the group. This is because they were added in specifically for the Super Junior-M subunit, and ever since that day there has been much dispute about whether they are “real Super Junior members” or not. I think they are; SM-via-Eunhyuk says officially they are not, and for the sake of not ranting for paragraphs, that’s all I will say. Henry is Chinese-Canadian, can play pretty much every single instrument, and complained loudly enough about SM giving him nothing to do that SM gave him four singles in five months of 2017. He’s also best friends with Amber from f(x) and they’ve appeared together on songs. Zhou Mi is Chinese, is taller than Siwon, and is a sparkly sugarbun of cuteness with a gorgeous smile. Seriously, his legs are like six feet long on their own.

Now that we’ve gotten who’s who out of the way, we can move on to what Super Junior has to offer!

#super junior

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gracieminabox · 8 years ago

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@imachar asked me to headcanon my favorite two dweebs, Phil Boyce and Chris Pike, for the questions behind the cut...

7) What annoys them the most about their partner? Would they change it if they could?

What annoys bothers/upsets Chris most about Phil is that sometimes - just sometimes - he doesn’t believe in himself the way he should. Phil’s a brilliant and extraordinarily competent physician and a wonderful officer, and he can hold his own under immense pressure...but after a crisis passes, Phil sometimes collapses under the weight of what ifs. It’s hard to reassure someone that they did everything they could do exactly right when you don’t have the hard knowledge to back that up.

What annoys bothers/upsets Phil most about Chris is his tendency to navel-gaze when left to his own devices. Phil’s all for introspection, but Chris takes brooding to an art form, and it usually leaves him sullen and moody. Phil loves to talk with Chris like he loves little else in the world, but it’s hard to communicate with someone who’s so in their own head, and he doesn’t enjoy pulling teeth to get Chris to talk about things.

8) What do the like best about their partner?

Chris loves Phil’s tender heart, his gentle spirit, his ferocious commitment to justice, his willingness to call Chris on his shit, his passion, his ability to listen, the way he burns the bacon in the mornings, the way his eyes start to smile wistfully when he talks about winters in Maine, and his laugh.

Phil loves Chris’ intelligence, his drier-than-a-Sahara-dustbowl-martini wit, his absence of hesitation in standing up for what’s right, the way he loves the stars, his tenacity, his steadfast refusal to give up, the way his hair curls at the nape of his neck when he goes too long without a haircut, and his smile.

9) Do they discuss big issues? Religion? Marriage? Children? Death?

Absolutely they do. At length.

Neither of them are religious. Chris leans atheistic, though he’d stop short of calling himself such - he wants to maintain an open mind. Phil’s considerably more spiritual than Chris is, though he, too, doesn’t subscribe to any particular set of religious beliefs. He believes that something greater than himself exists (and maintains that such a thing is female), but as to what, specifically, that thing is - a deity, a power, a sense of wonder, the consciousness of the universe itself - Phil doesn’t know. He’s content not to speculate, only to be aware that it’s there.

Chris is married twice before he and Phil get together. The first marriage is an awful shock to Phil, but he copes, in large part because the marriage is so short-lived. Chris’ second marriage really breaks his heart. Phil never marries in all that time; he plays the field with casual relationships, makes no commitments, and leaves on good terms with everybody. When Chris and Phil finally decide to marry, it’s in Jim and Len’s backyard, with ten people and their dog in attendance; Chris is 64 and Phil is 70.

Neither of them ever wanted children. They discuss Chris’ thoughts on this a lot, and I hesitate to say more for fear of spoiling some of TWOHM. For Phil, it just wasn’t a priority - he’d have been open to discussing it, if he’d had a long-term partner who wanted kids, but that had never happened.

They began discussing death the day at the Academy that they listed one another as their next of kin. Out of necessity, the conversation never really stopped.

15) How adventurous are they?

Chris is more adventurous than Phil, on the whole. He’s the thrill-seeker in the relationship - you kind of have to be, to sit center-seat on a starship - though, compared to some captains (coughKIRKcoughcough), he’s damn near tame. Phil’s adventurous side manifests less as sensation-seeking and more as an openness to new experiences.

(Sexually, they’re willing to at least discuss pretty much anything.)

18) What are their dates like? How long do/did they date? Do they ever feel the need to take a break from each other?

Most of their dates early in the relationship take place at Phil’s house, Chris’ apartment, or quiet little hole-in-the-wall restaurants that dot the outskirts of the Bay Area. They don’t give a shit if anybody ‘Fleet recognizes them and puts two and two together - they’re not doing anything wrong or against regs - but just the same, they’re not eager to publicize their relationship so quickly.

Post-Narada, bedside dates become a norm. On their first anniversary as a couple, Chris comes home from physical therapy, Phil makes a lasagna and pours non-alcoholic wine (lest booze interfere with the metric ton of meds Chris is on), and they eat side-by-side in bed watching shitty holos. They’re both asleep by 2100 hours.

As Chris’ condition improves, they start going out a little more - though Chris’ name is a little more famous now and they have to strategize avoiding the press.

23) How do they hug? Kiss? Tease? Flirt? Comfort?

Chris and Phil have never given A-shaped man hugs. (Phil, especially, would probably go on a beautiful rant about fragile masculinity if you even used the term around him.) Their hugs have always been full-bodied embraces, loose enough to breathe in but secure enough to feel safe. After they’re a couple, they discover a mutual love of stroking the other’s hair.

Phil’s lips are perpetually chapped from cold OR air and a habit of licking them when he’s thinking too hard. His kisses tend to be surprisingly soft, though they certainly aren’t always. Chris’ are somewhat more aggressive, on the whole; Chris also starts the tongue in about 85% of their kisses.

Chris’ greatest tease is to walk around the house with his shirt off. He plays innocent, but knows exactly what this does to Phil. Phil’s teases usually involve playing with Chris’ hair and kissing that spot under his earlobe.

Most of the time, they flirt without words. They know each other well enough to communicate their intent by looks, smirks, eyebrow raises.

They have always comforted one another with closeness and touch, even if platonic - hands on the back, arms around shoulders, wiping tears away, gentle embraces. The only thing that changes over the years is that those holds get a little closer, last a little longer, and they squeeze one another a little tighter.

41) Are they party-goers? What are they like when they’re drunk? Does it happen often?

Neither of them are party-goers. Chris vehemently so. Phil could’ve taken or left a party in the past, but the older he gets, and especially once he’s with Chris, he only goes if he has to.

Both of them drink a fair bit, but very, very rarely to excess - a handful of times since they’ve known one another. (Most of them in Mexico. You’ll read about that soon.) It’s easier to get Chris drunk than Phil, but Chris also sobers up faster. Phil’s hangovers are the stuff of nightmares.

Chris gets a little giggly and sloppy and filterless when he’s drunk, which has manifestations both maudlin and romantic. Again, it’s harder to get Phil really drunk, but he tends to get philosophical - he’s very much a dude, what if...kinda drunk.

#why does chril happen to unassuming people

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