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#pouring rain for 8 hours straight did you know that :)
feelslikegold · 2 months
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things I have mentally accumulated on this road trip so far that’s resume worthy:
- professional pothole avoider
- crying from laughing as siri reads the most unhinged texts from friends out loud (ex. siri reading a text from grace saying that josh had on his build-a-bear shoes)
- making friends by taking turns passing each other for literally 100 miles??? literally me and this one guy passed each other so many times to the point of laughing when we would do it like. I have a new best friend actually
- sobbing in a bad way over how big this fucking country is
- befriending every single cow telepathically and telling them I love them
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sturnsgirl · 4 months
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More than friends..
⟡C.STURNIOLO ⟡
IN WHICH Chris and Y/n are bestfriends
⟡•STURNSGIRL •⟡
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| Y/N'S POV |
"GOD CHRIS, YOU'RE SO FUCKING SELFISH. GET OVER YOURSELF!" I say yelling at Chris.
"ME SELFISH? ALL I'VE DONE IS CARE FOR YOU"
"RIGHT, SO THAT'S WHY YOU WENT OUT, AND KISSED THE GIRL I HATE! 'CAUSE YOU CARE FOR ME?" we shout back and foward
"IT WASNT LIKE THA-"
"OH YEAH SO THEN WHAT WAS IT CHRIS?"
It was silent..
"Exactly." I say biting my inner cheek before running out of their house. I walk out side to see its dark, pouring rain, and thundering that I couldn't hear from all the yelling.
I check my phone *8:57pm* I sigh and walk into the rain in a tube top and sweatpants.
• Flash Back From Earlier Today •
| Y/N'S POV |
Matt and I were walking to our next class that we had together before I realized I had forgot my algebra text book in my locker.
"Oh shit, Matt I need to grab my notebook. You get to class I'll meet you there." I say smiling at Matt and he gives me a reassuring nod before heading off to our class while I walk to my locker which was a few lockers down from Chris', but he rarely needed things from his locker so sometimes he would let me use it to spare extra things.
I walk through the crowded halls being pushed and shoved left and right trying to get to my locker. I finally reach my locker row and just as i turn i see Chris and Aliza full on making out. I dropped the English notebook I was about to switch out to the ground causing a loud bang to the ground, grabbing Chris' attention as well as maybe 40 other people around us.
Chris pulls away from Aliza looking at me with eyes wording 'I fucked up'. and he did, big time.
"Chris?.." I say saddened and hurt but also angry.
"No.. Y/n wai-" He says trailing off as I run away into my class crying.
Now I should have gone to the bathroom but if Aliza came in there god knows what she would do or say to me. plus I needed Matt.
• FLASHBACK- 2 •
| Y/N'S POV |
Back last year our Junior year of high school I was in class with Aliza. Who was the mean girl, and the perfect,pretty captain of the cheer team. She hated me for.. i don't know why, but it seemed like she hated my bond with Chris as because everybody knows she was in love with Chris, but he had zero interest in her.
We were all sitting in English. Me and Chris, and these two other boys Chris was friends with. I was next to Chris as his two friends were sitting in front of us. I was tired, I had gotten maybe an hour of uncomfortable sleep. so I was barely awake laying my head on Chris' shoulder before Aliza, and her friends walk up to us with a bottle of water in her hand.
I lift my head off chris' shoulder to see what she wanted. But before I could even ask what she wanted she opens the water bottle in her hand and splashes it straight in my face causing me to be soaked.
I froze. I didn't know what to do besides cry. I bursted into tears crying as everyone bursts out laughing, and taking photos and videos. I got up out of my seat running out Chris following after me.
I sobbed running before Chris grabbed me by my shoulder turning me around hugging me holding my head.
"Oh love i'm so sorry, its okay just brea-" I cut him off.
"Chris i- why would she do that? she ruined me!" I say sobbing
• END OF FLASHBACKS •
| Y/N'S POV |
And I wasn't over exaggerating because she did. The whole school went on about this for Months!.. now i don't know why, but it did and Aliza did not stop,And ruined who I was at Somerville high.
________________________________
I finally got home and about an hour passes and my phone rings.
*CHRISSS 🫀🫂* Is calling- answer//decline?
I for some reason answer the phone.
"Hey idiot, open the door I'm freezing"
I hang up the phone, got out of bed, and opened the door.
"what does your pathetic ass want?" I say rolling my eyes.
"Can I come in please? its -8 degrees" He over exaggerates.
I open the door wider signalling for him to come in. I shut the door and face his guilty eyes.
"What do u want?" I say trying my hardest not to cry.
"Look.. Y/n I'm so sorry for kissing Aliza, but that's not the full story, And just- before you cut me off let me explain. Okay so..."
• FLASHBACK FROM EARLIER TODAY •
I was walking with my friend Nate to class realizing I had left my AirPod's in my Lacross bag which was mainly the only thing I needed in my locker. The rest of it is my best friend Y/n's stuff.
I walk to my locker and open locker door half way before Aliza slams it shut. God this bitch again. I say in my head. Aliza has been obsessed with me since freshman year, and I hate her. Especially after what she did to my sweet girl y/n she is my best friend, and I hate Aliza for what she did to her last year.
"What do you want Aliza." I huff already pissed and annoyed.
"oh why I just thought you looked really good today so I just wanted to give you this." she says and before I get to ask what, she slams her lips onto mine holding my face so I couldn't move. I could have thrown up right there. She kissed me for about 5 seconds until a loud bang. It was Y/n. Shit.
"No Y/n wai-" I trail off as shes already gone. I try to chase after her, but she was already gone. Fuck.
• END OF FLASHBACK •
Y/N'S POV
"So that's what happened Y/n/n I'm so sorry I tried pulling away from her but her hands literally wouldn't budge. I'm so sorry you know I would never do that to you. I love you so much I'm sorry."
I felt terrible for what I said to Chris. Hes not selfish or annoying. He's the best, He's perfect, and I was so wrong for what I did. I didn't even let him explain. I felt terrible.
"No no no Chris don't be sorry I should be sorry for what I said. I didn't mean any of it, and I'm sorry for not letting you explain I'm sorry I love you." I blurt out quick.
"Shh its okay I know you didn't mean it love." he says hugging me tightly before letting go. "So are we good now?" He chuckles.
I nod my head yes before speaking.
"Look at you. you're soaked!" I giggle "Its okay I still have your hoodie, and sweats you gave me" I say grabbing his hand, and going upstairs handing him the clothes.
"You know how you have a drawer of clothes in my room cause you're always over?" He asks
"Yeah.. what about it?"
"We should keep one of those here for me" He says letting out a small laugh.
"I would be the one wearing them" I say chuckling
"Yeah you fucking clothe thief" He says holding up his clothes I gave him
"yeah, yeah, shut up" I say before walking out so he can change.
He get's changed, and tells me I can come in.
"So I get the hint you're staying here?" I ask.
"Yeah, but where are your parents?" He questions
"oh they went on a couples vacation i guess" I say as my black, and white 8 month kitty walks in.
"Hey Luna babyyy" I say picking her up. She was super tiny, and very fragile, but shes adorable.
"Ayeee Lunaaa my fav!" Chris says, carefully grabbing her from my hands while I close my door.
"Hey I wanna watch Riverdale so just watch it with me" I tell Chris as i put Riverdale on.
"AGAIN?" He yells startling me and Luna. "Whoops sorry lil Lun (loon), but haven't we watched this together like 8 times already?!" He asks
"Yeah, and we're about to watch it for the 9th" I say grinning
He chuckles but knows there is no changing my mind. I turn my lights off, and turn on my star light projector, and hop in bed next to Chris, and Luna.
Luna lays by Chris' legs and I lay on his chest. Most people might think it's odd that we are this close, but we have known each other since day one. literally! they were in my hospital room while I was being born. Since our parents are best friends, and they were a year older than me, but still our bond is different and I love it.
Eventually I got tired and fell asleep before I knew it with Riverdale still playing, and Chris playing with my hair.
"Good night love" He whisper's shortly before he also falls asleep.
-Madsssss
follow me & @is4belle new TT- @sturnsma
HEYY GUYSS ITS MADS UR FAV IK IK
request down below ,in my dms or here! -> https://www.tumblr.com/sturnsgirl/737532144341090304/hi-im-madi-im-a-day-1-chris-girland-i-started
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likeadevils · 8 months
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2011 Lover Diaries Transcripts
Feb 2011
All Too Well Lyrics- First Draft
Mar 2011
All Too Well Lyrics- Final Draft
Mar 16, 2011- Paris, France
We went to Germany, then Venice Italy, then Milan. Germany was an amazing crowd. I was on a serious show high after that one. We spent our 2 days off in Venice and it is CRAZY there. You have to travel everywhere by boat, and there are old houses where the front door steps lead straight down into the water! I’d heard about it, but actually seeing it is so surreal. The next day I went exploring a little in the morning but I went back to the hotel and slept all day. I think I was catching up on sleep I didn’t get the whole trip. It wasn’t until Venice that I actually slept a full night. We took a side trip to Schwangau, where they have the Castle Neuschwanstein. I’ve been in love with that castle since I was a little kid. I did a report on it in 4th grade. We drove 2 hours outside of Munich to rural (I mean remote, farmland, stuck in the 1600s rural) Germany and stayed in a tiny old hotel. My room had a circular bed that I couldn’t sleep in (one leg is always dangling of the side) and went shopping in this little village surrounded by fort castle walls because the town was built in the 1600s. We went to this little shop where we poured our own balsamic vinegar into bottles. I got this cranberry balsamic vinegar that is so good, you could probably drink it. I actually did. Anyway, today I had a lot of anxiety about my career because I don’t know what to do for the ‘Mean’ video. It’s such an important song and message, and it just isn’t coming together. I get so stressed out. I played our Milan show tonight then flew to Paris. My life is so beautiful right now. Everyone once in a while I have to remind myself to breathe and take in the view.
Jun 17, 2011- Nashville, TN
Something so unexpected and amazing has happened recently … I’ve become blissfully happy with my life. Like, actually grateful for every second of the day. I’ve noticed this onset for a while, but it’s really hit me in the last week, and especially since I wrote those 2 new songs. I really do need to create in order to live and feel worthwhile. But it’s more than just that. I’m happy with my family. I’m happy about this tour. I’m happy that tomorrow morning I get on a plane to Pittsburgh, play a stadium of 60,000 people, then fly home. I’m happy that the next day, I’m recording 2 new songs. I’m happy that I get to meet so many people on the road who make me feel like my music really matters to them. This ridiculous thing happens to me when I’m this happy … I start feeling like karma will balance it all out by making something tragic happen. But I’m trying to just show gratitude as much as I can. Everyday, every minute, I’m grateful for being happy right this moment. I think I’m a summer person. I’m also a work person. Tour gives me something to pour myself into and a reason to feel ok about sleeping in til noon on my days off. Today I went to a management meeting and approved/declined things and then went shopping for Father’s Day. Tomorrow it might rain in Pittsburgh. I hope it doesn’t. Taylor
Sep 8, 2011- Nashville, TN
I was supposed to fly to LA after the show in Tacoma WA last night, but after talking to my brother on the phone and missing my mom and my town where I knew my way around – I got homesick and flew back to Nashville instead. It was a long flight, but I’m so happy I chose to come home. Mostly because I wrote a song on the plane on the way home called ‘Red’. I got in at 6AM this morning, slept til 10, brought mom eggs benedict for breakfast, went and got coffee (the pumpkin spice lattes are back at Starbucks!!) and mom and I drove around talking. She showed me all the new decorating she’d done in her new house. It looks absolutely fantastic. She has scented candles burning in every room, so each part of the house smells like a new kind of heaven. In the evening I went to Nathan’s studio to record. When I played Red for him, he lost it. He absolutely freaked over the lyrics. I was so happy. As we started recording it, it got more and more awesome, with banjo and this affected vocal part that runs under the chorus going “re-e-e-e-e-d”. I’d love to name next album red. Scott came over because I called him and he was still working at the office. He said this song takes it to the next level. He lost it over this song. My mom loves it too. It’s so different than anything we’ve done. I can’t even tell you how alive and worthwhile I feel when I’m writing a new song and I finish it and people like it. It’s the most fulfilling feeling, like getting an A+ on report card. Recording again tomorrow.
Oct 30, 2011- Nashville, TN
Tonight we played in Memphis. I've had a chest infection for the last few days, so singing has been so hard. Last night, my voice kept quitting on me, going all raspy or just not being able to reach the high notes... I almost cancelled tonight's show, but I made it through. I went into a few coughing fits tonight, but I sounded better than last night. We've already played 3 shows in Nashville, Knoxville, Louisville, Lexington. We only have 9 shows left on this tour and I'm ready for a break. I've written two songs in the last few days. I want to record them so bad, but my voice is shot from being so run down. I'm just so glad to have a few days off. (ok... 2) Guess what I'm doing tomorrow? Getting a kitten!!! I've wanted a cat for so long and I'm finally doing it. I love Scottish Folds. I look up internet videos of them. They're so cute and love humans. So I'm going to get this little kitten tomorrow morning! I'm naming her Meredith. Meredith Gray. Because she's gray. Taylor <3
(2003 • 2004 • 2005 • 2006 • 2007 & 2008 • 2009 • 2010 • 2011 • 2012 • 2013 • 2014 • 2015 • 2016 & 2017)
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maccdadddyy · 7 months
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So! Today I'd like to address a very important issue at the forefront of all your minds: the Morton Salt girl. She's a real elephant in the room, right? You were totally sat at your computer today thinking 'I wish someone would talk about the Morton Salt Girl.'
Well, wish no longer because here I am
What the fuck is the Morton Salt Girl
I won't lie to you, I actually didn't know what the Morton Salt Girl was two hours ago either. Basically, it's something I read an article about this morning, was transfixed by, did some more research on, decided was the most interesting poetic coolest thing ever, and then will have forgotten about by lunch. This is something that happens to me with alarming frequency.
The Morton Salt Company is like the salt company in the United States. It's been around since 1848, originally just selling salt but now manufacturing it also. At first just playing the table salt game, they've since grown their empire to include industrial sales like road and highway use.
In the early 20th century, table salt used to clump when it was rainy outside. This is because of loads of sciencey reasons that I don't care about, basically all you need to know is that if it was rainy or humid outside, salt would clump, and therefore wouldn't come out of the shaker. Try your best to keep your cool while imagining such a dystopia.
Morton Salt got some science geeks to do some sciencing (or that's the gist or it anyway, I'm not quite sure of their specific process) that made salt not do that anymore. So, when it was raining outside Morton's salt wouldn't clump, it would pour through the shaker.
To celebrate this victory over salt-clumpiness Morton launched a new ad campaign with the slogan (and this is fucking genius) "When it rains, it pours" Yeah, I know, that slaps. I love that so much.
Along with this new slogan came a new logo... the Morton Salt Girl. A young girl in a downpour, carrying an umbrella in one hand and a bag of salt in the other. The salt is flowing from the bag despite the rain, something only Morton salt would do.
None of this is what this post is about. Let's get on to the actual post.
Rating the Morton Salt Girl
Since 1917 there have been seven iterations of the Morton Salt Girl and I have opinions about every single one. I'm going to give them all a rating out of ten based on just pure vibes man, just vibes, and then rank them from best to worst.
Here are all the Morton Salt girls, for reference. This post would be pretty shit if I didn't include an image of all the Morton Salt girls.
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1914 - 8/10
I honestly love this one. The OG, The classic, she is the Morton Salt Girl. She's such a bizarre ugly little troll thing and it's so vintage. She really looks like an authentic grubby little kid. If it was 1914 you could imagine this grubby cheeky little girl stood outside holding a bag of salt and spilling it everywhere, that's so totally something she would do. The way the salt is just falling STRAIGHT down, I love. It's not overly whimsical like some of the others, it really looks like this stupid lil kid is spilling the salt, and she's totally unaware it's happening, and her mother is going to be so mad. I strongly dislike the umbrella handle, though. Just a bad umbrella handle and I don't need to explain that take at all.
1921 - 4/10
For me, this misses the mark. I hate her smile, why is she staring at me like that. Fuck off you little creep. I do really like that they've made her dress more dynamic and added that bit of movement, that's nice. That's actually great, damn, and I'd say the dynamic movement in her dress is probably the best out of all of them, but I'm still not bumping her up past a four. Originally she was going to score higher, because I thought those were wellies, but I'm actually not sure they are? The left foot looks like a welly (which would be amazing - she would look so much better with wellies) but the right foot looks more like a shoe with high socks, which makes more sense because that's what all the others have. Not sure. I hate her hair, it looks awkward and fucked up. I'm okay with the salt. Whatever. Next.
1933- 7/10
Now, this Morton Salt Girl is a little cutie! She's basically the same as 1921 but just prettier, way way nicer to look at. I think her bow is adorable, her dress is also incredibly adorable, and the umbrella handle is a real improvement. Her legs are definitely my favourite, she looks like she's taking a big swinging enthusiastic step, which is how I walk through the rain at my absolute cutest. The others seem more like they're posing for a photograph. I also like that her legs are kind of chubby. After 1914, she's the one who feels the most like an actual little girl. I don't really like the shading on top of her umbrella, and I'm not a huge fan of the whimsical way the salt is spilling, but she's a solid contender for the top spot, she's great.
1941 - 6/10
Okay, so this one is pretty cute, but she evokes something culturally that I just don't like. She looks too perfect and pretty and Southern USA. She remind me of child beauty pageants and it just puts me off? I really like her little yellow socks, they're adorable, and the colour scheme off this one is a big reason for why I like it. This is definitely just personal preference but I also think she looks too happy? Like girl, your salt is spilling. Why are you over the moon about it. The Morton Salt Girl should tell a story, I should feel something for her. This one doesn't look like a girl, it looks like a logo. And I hate that.
1956 - 3/10
They just took the 41 Salt Girl and made it worse. This is the exact same design but objectively worse in like five ways. Why have they got rid of the blue? Why is she holding the umbrella at such an awkward and terrible angle? Stop smiling at me, I hate you. I definitely think the lack of blue here is a bit of a travesty and the previous model looked so much better with the blue under the umbrella. The one saving grace here is those adorable yellow socks, I really like them. But at the same time it makes me wish she was wearing yellow wellies because that would be off the charts. I would love the Morton Salt Girl to be wearing little yellow wellies.
I've come back to this one to add that the salt looks AWFUL here. Those ugly looking DOTS. Why?? It looks so bad. No thanks. I don't want to put that on my chips.
1968 - 8/10
I like this a lot. They've got rid of her cheesy grin, which I really like. There's a poetic melancholy to this salt girl, as there should be. Rain is so melancholic and bitter sweet, standing in the rain evokes a lot of emotions and I feel like this Salt Girl is properly displaying those emotions. I really like that there's still some shading here, it reminds me of the earliest mascots with it's vintage feel and really gives her an edge over the 2014 salt girl, whose lack of detail makes her seem more corporate. I will say that, for me, that dress is a little bit short. It didn't need to be that short. But yeah, she's great. She's really filling the role, she's definitely the most emotive. The decision to go with a lighter blue for the inside of the umbrella is a good one, I think it modernised and moved forward the colour scheme without destroying it. The yellow handle is a fabulous touch also. The salt here is great - that looks like salt. Good salt. I love the way it's spilling.
Although, we've lost the frilly socks! This is deeply upsetting to me as I loved the frilly socks. Almost as much as I would've loved wellies.
2014 - 7/10
I don't have a whole lot to say about this one, I'd consider her just a modernisation of the 1969 model but more boring. I think her hair is great, and I like that she's looking down. The dress is flowing perfectly but again I think it's just a bit too short for me. Her shoes are an improvement on the last one, they've very cute. The choice to have the rain bouncing off the umbrella is absolute genius and I love it. It makes my heart hurt for the lack of umbrella-rain-bouncing in the 1933 salt girl. The handle as well is perfect and the brolly looks sophisticated overall. I think the complete abandonment of the original colour is a real shame, but overall I really like this Morton Salt Girl. She does a lot in terms of the same melancholy look that 1968 had and I can understand why someone would like her more.
FINAL RANKING
Number One................ 1914. You just can't beat the OG, but it was close!
Number Two................. 1968 incredible showstopping amazing fabulous.
Number Three.............. 2014
Number Four................ 1933
Number Five................. 1941
Number Six................... 1921
Number Seven............. 1956
I don't care if this doesn't match with the 1-10 ratings I gave them. This is my blog, fuck you. I'm the boss here. Yeah. whatever
- M 🍄
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theretirementstory · 5 months
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Not long now until the BIG day…… I think I am starting to get excited 😜, now that really is a big surprise to me.
It’s been a busy week, it was the last two sessions of radiotherapy and I had my final consultation with the radiotherapy doctor. I said I was going to gradually re-introduce “forbidden” foods and did I……… well I had been dreaming of chicken fajitas and I had those on Wednesday so I guess not 😂.
The weather hasn’t been too good, lots of rain and mist with a smattering of sunshine thrown in. I never heard back from the roofer so I guess I will just have to be patient and wait for the dry weather to arrive when he will come and fix the problem.
I encountered a problem with my Orange TV Box, I was ready to watch the third episode of “Vera” on Sunday evening, however when it came on it didn’t switch to English language as usual. I rang Orange on Monday to try to get it sorted and at one point I thought we had solved it but no. The lady rang me back on Tuesday and we agreed there must be a problem with the box. I was told to take the box back to an Orange shop. Now we don’t have one in town and the nearest is 100 km round trip 🙄 anyway I went on Wednesday in the pouring rain. It’s years since I had been in the centre of Chaumont and I was surprised by the number of shops that were there. I got the new box and in the afternoon decided to set it up. Imagine my surprise when, set up, I had no sound or vision. I made a call again to Orange and after speaking to a man twice (without the problem being solved) I rang again and got a lady who did a lot of tests at her end and got it all sorted, even the problem with getting programmes in the original version. How pleased I am but very sad that I missed Vera in English.
Pauline and I decided to go to the cinema on Thursday night, to see Napoleon. The start time was 8:15 and it ran for 2.5 hours so I was going to have a really late night. We both enjoyed it very much and after picking up the flyer decided there was another film we would like to see. “La Tresse” (The Braid) so we are going on Monday evening, start time that night is 9pm!
I went to the cinema again on Friday evening (alone) the flyer said the movie was on at 18:30 and ran for 1h 27m so I would be home after 8pm. The film was in original version and looking at the actors I should have realised not in English, it was in Japanese 😂😂 with French subtitles. I stayed because the title was “Perfect Days” and the soundtrack included Perfect Day by Lou Reed with the talented Mick Ronson on piano, songs by The Animals (can you guess which song?) and Nina Simone to name but a few. I sang along (not loudly) but obviously loud enough that the lady two rows in front said to me at the end “English songs, for you to sing”. I wasn’t too concerned about being heard, there were only 4 of us watching the movie. Any thoughts of getting home just after 8pm were dashed as I checked my watch at 8:15 and the film was still in “full flow”. It was 9pm when I finally got home so it was straight to bed for me!
This week “The Ex-Graduate” has been unwell and couldn’t go into work for two days. It sounds as if she had ‘flu symptoms. On Friday she had an interview for a “real” job in her chosen profession. She messaged to say the interview was rotten, she was so nervous and didn’t know what she had rambled on about. Then later messaged to say she had been offered the job! Wow, good on you girl. I was so excited I couldn’t type my congratulations so rang her instead. How wonderful 🥳🥳.
“The Trainee Solicitor” has had another busy week and also a busy weekend. He is catching up with pals before Xmas, was at his work Christmas “do” last night and has usual weekend activities like good shopping to get sorted 😳.
The person formerly known as “The Daddy” now to be known as “The Photographer” due to his activities at Scarborough Athletic FC and also advertisements for clothes firms, restaurants etc. He also has had a busy weekend, my gorgeous grandchildren are with him and it was a Saturday off work so it meant he spent longer with the children. He went to his work Christmas “do” last night but reckoned on being home by 9pm (even with an hours drive). Blimey, not the work Christmas do I remember, where it involved all night, quite a few beverages and good food. Apparently the children are now being taken to the cinema to see a recorded panto. Funnily enough, I was looking at my legs this morning and remembering back to when I played the Prince in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs wearing my principle boy outfit, exposing a lot of leg, I think I have those shapely legs back again (my thoughts entirely) 😂😂.
Anie came to see me on Wednesday evening bearing Christmas gifts. She was thrilled with the Christmas cactus and when I handed over two other presents she exclaimed it was too much. How much is too much I ask myself, she has been an absolute wonder while I have been ill as have lots of other friends. She was leaving to stay with her son on Thursday, he would then take her to CDG airport for her flight on Friday. So she will be there now, with her family and granddaughter, Blanche.
Monique didn’t get to see me this week either as she had to go to physio for her sciatica. She is going to come down on Monday afternoon, I just hope her plant is ok and will last through Christmas and New Year.
I have just had a message from a lady who attended the knitting group before Covid. She has extended an open invitation to me, to visit her at home. How very kind. I guess I will be stuffing dates, making mince pies and peppermint creams to take with me.
I can’t see there being much knitting done between now and Christmas Day.
I took a watch to the jewellers in town yesterday for a new battery. While I was there I spotted a rather beautiful ruby necklace. Now my grandmother’s engagement ring has a beautiful red stone in and I am going to take the ring to see how close the colour is to the stone on the necklace and I may well buy the necklace. It has been made by the jeweller so I reckon it will be a “one off”. Of course I will have to try the necklace to make sure it has a long enough chain etc but with all the weight I have lost this year I think my neck size has reduced too.
Now to the music part of the blog, I thought a quick look at the Christmas number 1’s in the UK might be a good place to look but goodness me, I couldn’t really pick a good one out of them. So instead let me pick two songs from an artist who’s music I have loved since the sixties. The first is from 1970 and the second from 1976 the songs are by Diana Ross and the first is “Reach out and Touch” and the second is “Love Hangover” as I have said previously it’s not just the lyrics but the music that appeals to me on a lot of my choice of records.
The photos this week were taken in Chaumont (in the pouring rain).
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libidomechanica · 1 month
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Untitled (“Said he, ‘why do you help me at’)”
A rispetto sequence
               1
Her wide sleeves green. So that, like beads. At thing too deep for brazen bell. And What fear where it back: the rays reflection or most fearful of his oath, to grant thee. That straight with an inwardly, no hideous priest of his sinewy neck is as the while on lattice. To the blush and blythe in Glenturit glen. Said he, why do you help me at the puddle greate shepehearde more.
               2
The stars due warning: then we could you I know you have spoke, and before their lips, sweet, the grace; whereby she flat all that men o’er at their pause to rear whose solitudes of the plainly should be thou; although pale, and I read. Whose to say, thou art broke his advent to shined more resisteth, constant married man, stript to his love shall wed. Once more than duty, learn with the sons.
               3
But I, if but to kill, kill! The nameless wife; for he had for instrument, but the boor. Let not always fair; then, and lived, as herded ewes, and gates were herse, the fresh desire is— SOVEREIGNTY. They all deserved: the cost of Scandal doth dayly great princess, If indeed a widening sweet in cowslip’d lawns, the whitewashed with something about with that dark rain: yet it light.
               4
Sad mischance did into his side; for that sweet singing anger, with him is beat or beaten— though the world rounded under going to be wonder if his approbation; and his step, and flute fantastic tender Lambes, that the by, when master, and glutton eye so full hath he been. He stood, tied to addressed up and down, and the chiefly harm’d, are of earth. Tell me, what?
               5
To all she could we dayly, once it to her three fires and like I hold her were battle set of bristling both from its feature, tortured twenty summers could we be bound; for that’s allow’d, because they could not thyself the winds weep, and half command there stalks the watching, and illustrations form a sorry I called the sleep ye soun’. To come;—but not so witty could be at!
               6
The guidance on a sloping green water; for still. With whom I’ve watched whelp to the happened once lost, unless gunpowder should look upon a hill did Lucy took the last grown-up daughters of each and had no doubt, in proper, or dusky masses steal a blink, by thine eyes as this Venus makes his cheek, declare, lord H. But while we the Gods, upon the lava ravish him.
               7
Each from me, both together: O my flowers, newly reap’d late on the breath is out, that have sought in our own wish: but as fair words, being open to thrid the knife. Tis lost, lost forever things, hungry, and his cheek the red man’s eye could scarce to bring them chant in the several millions, or mortall eyes of agony, when it is merely saying? Is better for that.
               8
Its hoards; new vestals claim perhaps even then a town which he says, you shalt have chosen with your motorcycle, afraid I’d be all in the yestermorn, to the same; excepting marriage; scarce expelling, exclaiming;—’Juan! This was a noble name could not kept walking with Constant heart of tempest, travell’d weapons, as e’er was Woolfe in doubt he’s freed towards her favour.
               9
To scour, for she goes, where these round at such a throne, bent warm group of murder’d it, amidst some little care or gain: the greasy hempen rope hooked my cheek and strange it selfe to groan, whereat smiled Neptune felt. So that tempering Tritons poure our neighbors, going about distance, whereof nought more from me: I gazed upon that same gan so to have shall be spoke and pine their lives.
               10
Petal by petal, fall on that state of purchaser of Juan and here he was done. But whether frighted, that call’d Ismail, and invaded, when each hour, nor I rasher and an R. Vows and Ireland’s hospitality—its quantity of blood? Tis thus taken from the hardships would humour man’s abode;—for often fineness compensated size: besides, as thou gone?
               11
Tho would mount a lady; Baba smiling, I whet my scythe I lookèd rightways in the girl and good for in love-longing heart to shield, and forth, those who would the woe which man kills the third was on his haughtiest lineaments, with Psyche flushed again. The invisible, the villages. That she show’d thy favours are slow, and that is never singling tresses all the yesterday!
               12
Resting well his brow, to quite to paint out among a flock of goats though several volumes would have thorns and stood shyly near, the dark latrine, and Phoebus weary wanton o’er little thought I thee bynempt: then it also dull the woods. ’ And set in leaving back again subsiding, if that love maks a’ the snowy should fain say fie on t, ’ if I had not perceived me.
               13
To make the statues! They think, holds the Lady Adeline Amundeville; the kissed his feats. Serve, but shear a little thing, and hath half the year; one day, by and bled, its case. Of thunder. Poor fellow-Christian, I’ve added, thou art the loud that the ground, spurns at his own country and fortune sends here; and if thy galage once she paused for kisses poure ours? I thank you, Sir!
               14
But who won’t have pass’d oft with thy soul move still it hit the prophet oft, and being loved, let us go forth, thought it much invite me for commanded, and Langeron, and the Rule of right: such thy villanage are the wind through wind might hand against a columned entry shone, or pass, the day. Mind that blood, or stonish’d as a dying the seas; a red sail flaps, all her face.
               15
Of Sage or poet tuck away more, but come again. But long ygoe? Nothing a peal to mend all people of an imperial halls, long galleries, spacious coffee, open the loued not. What is sometimes she glorious eyes: from crowds, in her; she flies. The melancholy, and if the dawn of its prey. Till the woman’s fancy to assay, till I wend, my piteous plight.
               16
That comfort is, she never think that his rosy eloquent that Summer’s welcome guests: their dirty diplomatic disposition to that range and up shells by the turn of love has died or something and sighs, and jasmine, and of child of Murder’s rattles. Everyone starv’d, ’mid a’ thy father will come to her chance and here he rearward of Lucy Gray, and when he sport.
               17
Thou told’st me chop, but this may Sacred priest of their forte; ’ but Juan, who knew where they—now furiously he leaps to the last empty houses; had she was young men thieves; so do thy life scarce more she doth breath. I shall perpend if you drest it up poetic riddle, Fame through the wave broke through—fire I can’t say Yes, ’ said she, with light wood, so is hers; and leaves but half equal share.
               18
Also my lady in thy smoke and I stood about the use of fear in the House-top ill affront on the weeping to be. She joint to dance no more, are younger, not to groan, but other Phaeton had a mother the marriage brings from the sweethearts, whence follow’d to die, or lion proud, because thee? In that softest dreams in short, by merely was the shriller scream&a yes.
               19
My beloved more and the black-eyed virgins as before. Of forty’s sure the sun doth make a iolly hole in thee: the woman too long, broad buttock lent: he stamps, and she blushing wonder, thus the sum was accurately earn; for the rising ivory pale, as white turn’d and declared, her slim hand reader, know: yet, hearing; the tramped, each tongue; be wreak’d on as if some thither.
               20
He is so much amiss, lest I, too much.—Blythe, blythe and humanity’s machines. Obey—our hearts less had wrought more solemn and she would not yet endure whate’er the fault of ours is merely innocence of the soul; and when I see my picture, rich and waite. To thy favour and eagerly—no wonder to see the smart, a thing a human hear my mother of the year.
               21
Are not my fate, deigned to guide thee, let not thereon I lie; these wolves: thus gentle cheater, had his wesand beauty and breath and root, the loves, and touches in thine Arrow flew to Heavens despite despising thought her husband’s shape in volleys, half on her deep persuaded a Russian army should be desired, who where I, who thought of Platonic shades. And smoke, perforse.
               22
Are thy fellow-creature, let me visit us no more. And that he needful at the general Markow, Brigade: and now, through the floor; and may be your natures out to flaunt the black and a while many cases, was well as all miss out of their pleasure, who would see how mothers, it did, my though not for life is the tusk in his goods, to ventures strange it was a trifles.
               23
And by the degraded, turnspits for five, four, these male thunder; for still he grew her impels her tale; still obey the hymns, or medicinal, but gods have vanish: wept their wilinesse? Who all in shiny black, except the hideous priest of all the Turks at first was silent light of the wide-spreaded sister, my spouse: I have vengeance, for fear, love toward parts maintained prime.
               24
And the hardest flint to it, no doubt if thou were also mine. The matting: there is plaints, that touch my hand, ’ she and, as he turnpikes glow with the ground, vailing ayre allow; even sacrilege, three or to behaved with his arms the war which do sublime than their green silk strung, down from a cup. But still of men who looked on the light and glow as in plain truth, she fallen adown.
               25
The town’s right lead to-morrow’s light, scarlet coat, for misery; as burning; my best the lease of my tremulous hands: a moment to spring I ceased: there studding tree, paused a white within herself herself to cherish. And worse. But with their clamorous pleas’d her face; the remnant of my tongue like a nymphs, more resistance made for queen, it will followed, wherein the morning.
               26
Give me my head, each dwell on me; I shriek for want of Israelites; to the sum could not speaker rising billow, and what that Sage said john surrender by mowing Christian nun, with milk and horrid war-whoop and breatheth sike delight. But if thou present lot, as I had a knife in its snare stray lower, which nature writer of the rays reflected from self-denial.
               27
Alone can easily gather’d and direful god of all being, and distinction never should be told; and he whetteth still anxious moan. From fiction of outside and with his beard, let stream of solitude; Health shrank from bastion, with laughters and temple’s gate. And one enormous shout of play, our sport a-bed; some sell, and falling rain nameless in its snare stray at please.
               28
And quoted odes, and winters bale: yet this day’s hot task hath had done. Your houri it may escaped, to the silver tincture of the judge at first, there with a heavy fire, now back to the heard the crime we heard it—once perhaps grown a slight reach, and they him with that same groaning fountain of his own beneath his hard essay, or found life is his mourn. And, seeming even now.
               29
Henceforth a millions ashes! Society, that’s her with as inconstant glance, hermes had to speak to our Gibraltar must build. Body join’d the heaven present to shield her white should be at—a period sometimes nods the ruddy strife, the waters go, come from heavens despite: and look strange way, her, piano, and loud through little thought I well mought with vain annoyes.
               30
—’The same cause nor relinquish’d men without found to serve the riches of loue, which said, pass on; his Highness came: king, camp and burdenous smart. Some amorous herbs and found out that I passed the tripp’d, who is but the Governor was she stars who, when, all worldlings to the trumpet round Hesperides; with our carpet;—Troy saw no line of her forehead and strike at it; o yes!
               31
Cure? The way, and Passion spreads its deadly bullets from aught them on, nor ever woman but ta’en myself invents throbbings, with great George, and now to lead to-morrow morn we hold our skin and carp, and flute fantastic wits? He does not wake at dawn to sale the begins to these black, but loued not. ’ Miscarriage of the instant married ones to march with the maids gathered glory!
               32
Bride: with shrinking on the worships, there is sometimes nods the passee’ and therefore mine he took no part in a foreign salve to do with red, like a snare: which the hive. I look a little hearts unstrung unable tittle-tattle, when matter, so shall leap, and as food for incorporeal fame whose noble sight that gives there’s safety in a moderate Hotspur, long ere thine.
               33
’ Martial tread why fear and dull earthly fumes. Among the stairs into close at hand tighter every wander as a flock of beard to teach that same door almost evidently, like fire of miserye. Jade he stands the pool; for it, and best become a child and griefe, whereat thee in his short, being spreading twilight in touching it again, and faultlesse stately build together.
               34
I sing to the last war then I am bereft, which makes more than poet’s pen can harp, with heavy cheere is a generous purposed with floundering matched his active hermit, even without a guide. Earth and held as delight alway. Altered: I am she who might hand in me sooner than she cries, and high, lance-like he stroke to shreds with such gems was bound asleep.
               35
But have asked, to whom his foes until I had to swing. So I, made the blush rebuke and swear that were drawing the morning, when on her caused. Eating young shadows. Their punishments she that it both love, and in his arms away she hies, and wets the heroically to take: I list not quite worn out, and girls are meaning much too deare as that they at the inhabited her.
               36
And at your ideal: ’ she reprehends her fair eyes in search the dead man was, we safely stuck in turning round; sometime shall spurn themselves have though it held a general consterd in the way, and groans, which keeps our Britain held they had, an earth, in an hour but she murdering compliments they chose soothing sweet. Only though this same moments warp us of their hymns, to hear hims!
               37
Of the dark valleys; I do detestable that gainst thou in vowing chamber to bring to like! A lusty brace of a young and their journey for Man, since they nould be thy complayne, much into the nearer than tongue to mine ear, to hear, Eadwacer? We turned to her mind, might streak the wholesome Growth approves your Valentines, and by poet, must seem so little modest Ruth.
               38
Perhaps even the bottom agates seen of several posts, my friends their course. The soldiers for bloody rest. By taking towns, wherein Leander thus are rarely to attack, thou dost lie, my pain; and we for trifles, though the prophetic pity, but thy servant. And left at last of all he met, but Juan, shall it praise, and to please, beneath the pain … Do whatever you.
               39
Perceiving how her plan; i’ll be as free! The mammoth bulked in ice, not to display when they fall sick of love, tempest after-life with what wastes and wander’d up and door of his woe. Which makes the walks, where both deliberate mankind, her soft lutes: for that my paines that doen so carefull verse. Makes her and gold, among the sold his life we love are all we shall the dark.
               40
In judging merely was the read, till I swear the ton. ’ But Baba found he thrice in truth, there were merely to turn has brought him more than was a maid: ’-he paused, and were game as you’d breaks: I dare vndersaye, thye neuer had his weary feet with Dians wings, devoutly prayed so hard for her eyes caught with that Learning just enough is me the question, for the dialogue; for sophomore girls.
               41
Of my friend stories have foundation; but my poor soul, which doth not knowing Here Comes the camp, the caique was therein was no tutor in life is no cause no doubt if men will not spoke of any form containing of the slabbed steps for they for Mahomet’s bride: with iron hills. Mine ear to swallowed the greatest chief that evening, and dark and joys of men’s mind, whereat shame.
               42
So of contact; and to thee so faint Elysium, or whose loss of eastern soft wind, whose least, is gain’d in his waist or like a threats, and hills, and leaues from coste to completely skill did Lucy clime. Which looks adore they, at bottle- conjurer, John Bull the place, for my sister, with humming sound, which is the Slap-dash regiment, so well: the blood which is world, strove to rise.
               43
And when frae her though in wretch attack, when so, Belovëd, who my song: in brief, the sum was accurate, flinty, hard as Newcastle, his lourings, since hast ye shepherd stock the place restore. But with the first twelve sheet and pilaus, thinking of splendid host intends to breed, their naval matter of my life: choose but hart did this half-dirt, praying, in his proud tails to revealed.
               44
So beauty, flattered sapience. Through the uninitiated, and head, and temples with theyr peace, one ray from Beautie be; then sovereign mistress a shadows, the Board, i’m queen sat lords of civilisation, strange too in your sleeves. Verse, and I who taught, that virtuous she runs, and dewdrops wet; and in this bough, the high-dive at the heart to mount, and servile tongue tripped, for the year.
               45
In this occasion, though this maid, by the world. Them for thirty, should be counteth evil. Make us the score flatter his peace of satisfied of the ruins of the vineyards of these valley of my love sails all out of theyr furre. Priest of the two young, and grief may be said; free vent of yore, a kingdom topples over all you rip away the man that under his wife.
               46
But I am crying—sheikh, my one that keep your glass will often happens, I’m hungry mortall men, thus for incorporeal fame, whose Love liv’d, and in that being cruel, my heart at bottle almost honour’s wracke, when the ground; so he had like pillars of midnight her hand, to feele my great father’s light’s fall, as a realm in grief. These maladies but in your despatches.
               47
Men foolish distance of a hope for my sake hold of the mark’d with due severity, and be no traitors are empty and barren among his kind. About his beard, how oft soe’er it was: but, as thrown her purpled, still they had not see how he intermission of the twilight’s herald, shone between my arm. Which parts do crowned twins, and lips, exceeding: such pleasant valleys.
               48
The flames where; but brooding turtle is heard his veins stretched metre of any thousand times, republics, revolutions, batteries lived: the world, or a loftie oke, the huge arch, while at last! Ye, brawlers? All are, we must be near Ismail’s ours. Fair Hermes, having a jet streamed among us; visiting I ceased; he said, that were jacks and like a razor he who had they scarce palls.
               49
But when rain lassie, what you any consoled, but under my lucklesse please him dwelt the midst; and thunders with the sky. Suspected something reasoning out reluctant as they were though Parry’s efforts fail. ’ Johnson only hag reject that is tame, and some, squatted with all his good fortune’ with those lips, and him: but red-faced war has more fit; never this a murmuring.
               50
Tears in the far festoon entwines that little grief which he pleas in verse may lightest echo, then love was a mannequin in uniform. Seek you for men, they might knocked and dirks, and, thou art as fair immortality in these halls, and as my youth in bleak beginning ghost, too well spelt in the tree-house perch, ferris wheels may hiss hence, can show, or I shall your daughter!
               51
He knights, nor for increases! To the distant refrain. To gentlewoman, superstition, wars, revels, that Jove, where have no reason that said the wind, concerned without sin with studs of slaughter, one another know not look at this side, and suddenly I saw the blight of his nation, to undertake thy rest, my throat, and don’t measure suffering points in the meadows sear!
               52
Truest she shows not won until they will endured. Reared, sung to, when fire is a good behaved with strife, from what will not say they knew his mercy from high names: I have drunk with flashing blade clash’d phosphor and for him Pity’s long, O God, as kind only because the winds that sit a- billing. Twice as that great them, warm the joys of every coppice-feathers, flesh while he, despise.
               53
And divine, made some night-wandering in the kindest Calmucks, drilling light; those were wings! Love maks a’ the young Jove without number all the field. He with sails all out of a lie coming mingle blesse thing in the man in the basest mould, and self wildly breathless would breath perfume, her young: and all those that dost thou pluck’d is souereigntee, beating palm, the woods be thy dear merit?
               54
Lonely in the board, who camest to haue lorne their loud as even thought beneath a glass of declining purple to long state throat, before, and nowe imploy the cry remain; and passionate head: o cod she did not hear, i’ll trout to the knight. But get a widow’s wish I were—where else to plaining my sight; which there’s a zone colder yet was her, no; to-morrow.
               55
Echoing in vain; not yet endured, long- closeted with kissing. Bad luck on theft. Yet many a light be that chased by your Princess, If indeed, the time in her a palace; where foot or seen, as if well used us court? Spirit of love, in the object of the way that flows away; the lips to his arm, and the squares by each light in gallant institute a reader!
               56
Inspiration, this word his posture all! Who hath scarce be shown all the postboys have his hands, to vent those of our home is it, if she had throwing thy will; her blood in Man that troublesome, and tumbling, be prodigies, whereto long on every kind of mischief is life or deaths at evening; long since, the girls. Forms and kindlye dewe drops the strong as the world o’erawes it.
               57
That I do Stellaes face are for such exaggeration. ’ While their cookout scuttle by in languish; she only hag remains, when thy singing lists, and to Leander way; since they spoken the loftiest, hurriedly they closely … love lingers, houseless, houseless, he went by as striving wall is imagining the day build upon his blood might next I should pave hell.
               58
), He now prepared—the fire of my beloved. Steel barons, most no graver than grandame hag adjudged than after fight, that equal balance pealing to happy might in sentiment I’ll seek not to be gracious! Which makes our day, shall see it ruinous and destroys what else: an usurer could not combat Like to a lottery. Locked the walls were dead hush them lose it.
               59
If thou whom I shall we love continued: Your third, to ask of this shadow of some ages had taught it thing. The Minster-clock has justly what is tame, counting he viewing? It is abuse: seeds spring from side to side, whether to most Affection with the Asian pomp of power and over you. Being lost their table to sustain a sigh behold two Adons dead!
               60
For mine than female hands. And not wring, except a dunce, and nuptial song: but trim our sails of silver-shedding night, which the wheat without shivering air. When amatory poets sing, some respect, however, where as an attack the Turks do well, lest I, too, for Thee—Oh spurn the sum was accurate, you must not apart; like poison or fascines like modest Ruth.
               61
Pray, sir, ’ said Juan; but pray with a long dagger rich wretch the sheep that lowly lover’s steeds, where behind a desk of satin-wood, a quick is love thee. It a fear of her back deeply is redoubled her moan. But that wrought him by the bastion, with this the same small delight. Or those,— mothers, sweet, when some they came. And the wildfire Love is best attiring, leaving any?
               62
Downe her stay, threat he muttering roses are rare and drove fine old fellow, who knew where down from his patience taken with payne. The Asian shore gazing on that such encheason, If you drest it up poetic diction, and drent, didst the green. They to pluck away his three. The while before, nor stain that is. Field’s chiefest among women like, thou speak, but, utterable arch.
               63
But Juan answered shipwreck with Ambrosia mixt, and also, though I am but a bad grace and sweetly they shall I relate of the women are such as chanted gazer’s minds compressed in arts of wit, and rather ammon’s ill pleasures hold; but those odd turns aside him worth the gate of each words, with Hannibal, and obedience,— now rain, my paines the cause it brings.
               64
And slain with tears can never grief, and looser song was tedious times. He for the land, whom you of no sex at all; and full star that went with a flitting allusion’s self must have another way: so thou, that wishes. My one chain: strong-neck’d steed, and tell the command such comfort bestow, since I have seen a human clime—with scraps of her wrongs and strange faces, like Tom Waits.
               65
To-morrow, ere the two young men singing on a boggy walk, he flitted to Juan was taken— whether thanks one must allured that bene wastebasket. Which—as we said, I have pride of fierce demur: and drew: part stumbled mixt with savage mind. Are of black eunuch made incompletes the Imperfection?-Christianity: in deserts, and throws herself; her spheres; the queen.
               66
If’ says the sacrifice, as twas the rest hems breath forth cast me, who could breed up with a rabbit’s foot; which proved come interim like Mars and find the same; and rally back his Robe—with fraud and shake. A thing whither where the meets the more, and cast a glance, alas, is more, sits sadly she doteth; she orders of the Persian mutes, who would peep; the way with her eclipse endured.
               67
Upon him and his friend, I guess one glance; and good poetry in general compressed up to open to the heart to mount up to their Souls endear; and I may enquire of mud; that are found a numbers; a little fish leaping all in one place for port, ere things to my house betwixt the smoke. Which mortal hand shouldst thing he love or hate, for only God, found out the field.
               68
Raw from, malgre all for your name in ordering matches? But we were the world hath its promised. Roses at my heart, however did destroy, the branches the tender bless that men do, the little care of two, and take ourself never fellows, if himself, and Rotten Row sleeps, which you would not onely Deare: but what we may remember the mutes are raw begins to give.
               69
The below in human being woo’d of two mighty locust, Desolation, coquette, well his mind. So he begot by foot the guidance of pardon asked, Madam, you shudder in the king. I wear their ears.—Blythe, blythe and since let loose. With bricks of loue that I am sick of a turmoil of body and oft the wild-woods among. With this half so dear theirs is the sick tent.
               70
The Briton musickes loue through virtues of woe were once a fluid in her e’e. And the grass, he often-used volcanian yellow spoke more! More worthy of common sense, with loue within, now glittering, its Self-fulfilment wrought that played, the heavy heart as stiff as stone set in their examples may appals her tale; still is dry. I dreamed I was a person thriveth!
               71
And horse and tell her, thou art a Mower mown. Judas had my locks. But why should I be as clusters of Jerusalem, by this forehead hope then they open the reins, spits for gentlemen got up betimes only thought it near. Because I see my joys come to men who would help our eyes. Wears they assume, they made you father— Wasps in our good name for having sorrowe.
               72
Ah, happy Hobbin how I was your face was given to upbraided crime, and so in her theme, so beauty in the wheat set about as fair as they learn whatever prayers, and self- love, to a myrtle twines, was farre: I thoughts might hand in a brazen prow in port Cenchreas’ shore; and this mock-Hymen were the sun itself comprised nor grief; all entertainment of yore.
               73
Juan among women, deviants, wronged and well do less, had not Roffy renne to the fire he met, and t is very well: what speak to your ideal: ’ she reprehend her! Old and some when in her eyes and in me sings no more of discoloured chastest square; so sad, so strange themselves betake; so Juan’s looks were set less one hand lightly, she liked her wise, who can settled die.
               74
I dream it was not man, with a glass will oftentimes the summer’s birth, or winding with eyes were some draw; some disguised as birds. You must go virtuous deeds to cross her famish the crystal shining charge you, reader! And stories of Cantemir, or Knolles, too, adding still the summer’s night that mine forbeares, as the morning, hunting no sad songs this king Arthur’s court?
               75
So soon were to any Mussulman, and sire; subject of sublimity, their mistress shortened to give some plan was denied: from whence we live. He chafes her constant on thought awake. Which made a vow to amend? Said Baba, their power of pathos, and phrases witty: her eyelids open’d on the chill. The garb which is a brothers: being sudden changed from this grounde.
               76
All deep enraged, his lips, which lives a separate Hell. Your camp: we seem so little letter of it from alle wommen my low estate; her warrior dead: look’d them to the blunt compass’d inanition, a poniard deck’d; also a sort? Till its glass of all I can proper for their hallelujahs quenchers of ease, and lay before those whose absence and bent. Which may look back!
               77
Nor weary travel, war—all that ribands, black rock bound asleep. Till my griefe, whereat this sad interior talus of the Smiths were unlocking at the minstrelsy, the closing which purchasing, with a flattered coat? Kind of blushes like lilies, dropping, have need;—firstly, thought to do whatever other pleasant thou clear weather blamable, while our house up later.
               78
I have been told I love glory for honour, but the Great World; for inditers may teach them again. With me from Psyche, ’ I replied. The moaning with Cassiopeia, or the sense of teares spring up for a moment’s good instruction prithee try she keeper of theyr flocks bene rugged and a good, and thought or wrong, I’ll live in Sestos Hero dwelt; Hero thoroughfare.
               79
-House perch, ferris wheels, balconies, cliffs, a penthouse view, knowing well his grey ruin, and rough, Here Cyril very weak;—I meant to keep dropping, unto the news were not force my way, and with disturb your eyes, like Arab-spears, so that then? And no gunners lean on the envious briar his step so light, from them as he imagine this night came her the morn her daughter.
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Dragged Into The Blood
Story Summary: Never staying in one place for long, moving nearly every year, Lea Anderson was used to impermanence, chaos, and having to leave everything behind at the drop of a hat. Lea never expected that she would be kidnapped and wake up in a rusted, decrepit prison cell because of a madman's delusional belief in eugenics and cleansing the Earth of imperfection. By herself, with only the clothing on her back, she will have to rely on luck and logic to escape before she's killed or worse. Chapter Summary: While Lea is kidnapped and taken to who knows where, her father Roark is starting to spiral once and Shawn is desperately trying to hold on to some sense of stability as they wait for updates to the investigation. Chapter Warnings: Parental anxiety and despair over the second kidnapping, mentions of stress-induced self-neglect, and lashing out of anger.
Welcome back! I know this is actually a little over the mark for the monthly schedule, but I swear I have my reasons. Basically, I was going to keep focusing on Lea, but my mind just wasn't allowing me to actually write her, Claire, and Moira finding the gears. It was like hitting a wall, but when I changed course and decided to write what was going on with her dad and remaining uncle, that actually flowed really well. Plus, this is a perfect opportunity to get a look at how these characters are in a different POV as they've so far been mainly through Lea's perspective, and she's a bit of an unreliable narrator. Anyway, I hope you like this chapter!
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16.
Chapter 16: A Parent's Struggle
Roark
Rain poured down with a vengeance, the force of the droplets hitting the rooftop creating music like wind chimes. The downpour was thick like a curtain, bringing a particular scent of petrichor. The foliage of the forest that surrounded the house seems more vibrant, shining brighter than even on the sunniest days of summer. Any other day, this would make Roark smile and think of how much Lea loved this weather when she was nine. This day, however, all it did was seep dread deep into the man’s bones.
Roark paced beneath the porch roof’s protective cover, fingers tapping rapidly against his biceps. His eyes darted to and fro from the gravel road to the tree line and finally back to the phone lying untouched on the chair. The middle-aged man couldn’t tell if the chilly air made his arm hair stand straight or if his racing thoughts were at fault.
28 hours. It had been 28 hours since he and his daughter had yet another fight about her job and how much showing her face would put her in danger. How they had no idea where Keenan was or who else wanted Lea as an experiment, a weapon, a possession. How Lea felt suffocated, less than human, and wanted to try and move on. 28 hours since, against his better judgment, he let her drive off with the motorcycle to that party. 28 hours since she and everyone else at the TerraSave new-hire party disappeared without a trace.
Absently, Roark heard the whining of the screen door cracking open. The delicious scent of roasted vegetables, mashed potatoes, and well-seasoned chicken wafted out, drifting right towards the shaggy-haired man’s path as he paced away from the phone.
“You’ve been at this for hours, Ro. Come on,” the familiar baritone of his mentor and dearest companion spoke up just as Roark pivoted on his heels and stalked back towards the phone. Shawn stood in the doorway, his pitch-black irises watching the man continue to aimlessly walk back and forth. The taller man sighed, stepping fully out into the cold in simple sweats and a frilly apron, the door clicking close behind him. “Come on, I made your favorite.”
Roark paused, his abdomen tensing and his stomach growling loud enough for Shawn to quirk one of his eyebrows in a knowing gaze. The enticing aroma of roasted chicken hung around the taller man, thicker and more inviting than any cologne. It was almost enough to make him succumb to the undoubtedly heavenly meal. Almost. Roark huffed, shook his head, and resumed the mindless, repetitive motion. Why should he eat when Lea is God knows where, cold, scared, and alone?
“Roark, man, stop it.” Shawn grabbed his shoulder, stopping the shorter man’s spiraling. “Just,” Shawn sighed, rubbing his scalp, “just bring the phone inside. It’ll be right next to us. The ringer’s on, my phone’s on me too. Just… eat something. Anything.” Shawn’s voice broke slightly, the same tone Shawn used to beg Roark to eat just a spoonful of porridge a year ago. Roark froze, spine straightening and tensing taut before sagging like all the fight in him was drained. He nodded meekly and gently removed Shawn’s hand from his shoulder before grabbing the phone.
Shawn held the screen door open, letting the disheveled man walk back inside. As soon as the two were inside and the door clicked shut, he reached for the coat rack and pulled a cardigan, shoving it toward Roark, making his eyes scrunch in confusion. It wasn’t until he held the crumpled warm article in his grasp that he noticed how much his muscles trembled, hungry for the warmth the wool provided.
“You’re shivering like a purse dog, come on.” Shawn teased, the corners of his lips lifted but not quite reaching his tired gaze. Roark rolled his eyes at the comment but pulled on the article. Reluctantly, he followed Shawn as he led him left, past the archway, and to the open dining room area. The soft, warm yellow lights illuminated the room, reflecting off the stained-glass bowl full of apples and plums. Shawn pulled the nearest chair open, motioning for Roark to sit. “I’ll be back.” With a firm clap to his shoulder, Shawn turned and walked through the swinging kitchen door.
Roark sighed deeply, plopping down in the cushioned chair, before setting the phone onto the pine table. His eyes drifted from the device to the dozens of coffee rings embedded into the table. Flashes of memories dragged themselves to the surface, of Shawn lecturing them to use the damn coasters, of hot chocolate with a mountain of tiny marshmallows threatening to spill over and stain the table even more. Of the different homes they’ve had through the years, nearly every single one lay on a town’s outskirts. Laughter, embraces. Shouts, arguments, harsh words that Roark regretted with every ounce in his body.
The familiar prickling of tears started to well up, and guilt stabbed his heart yet again. Roark tore his gaze away from the spot and into his scarred hands. He hated this. Hated how he was unable to control his emotions. Hated how helpless he felt. More than that, he hated how much he knew he failed his family.
The gorgeous scent of meat, starch, and vegetables intensified as the swinging door was pushed open again. Shawn stepped out carrying enough plates and bowls to put a fancy waiter to shame. One by one, he set the platters of food down on the table, half in front of Roark, the other half in front of another chair with a gravy boat between the two before sitting down. Stubbornly, Roark fought to keep his gaze sequestered to his palms despite how his stomach growled louder than before.
“Ro,” Shawn called out, to no avail. “Roark.” He turned his gaze to the window; the curtains pulled back, revealing the never-ending downpour. Shawn started to reach out towards the other man before letting his hands fall back into his lap. “You know as well as I do that this starving yourself isn’t gonna help. I’m outta my mind worrying about our little girl. Just, fuck… one step atta time, ok?” Roark glanced at him momentarily before falling to the meal. Sighing, Shawn got back up and turned back towards the kitchen. “I’m getting us a juice.”
“Feck that shite, gimme a Guinness.” Roark snapped back, making the other man huff out a laugh.
“As you wish.” With that, Shawn went back through the door, leaving Roark alone with his thoughts. The all-encompassing shame ate away at his thoughts, though it focused on his mentor this time. He promised the other man he wouldn’t starve or hurt himself on the helicopter when Lea was found a year ago. Yet here he was, moping around like a toddler, refusing to eat even a piece of broccoli while surviving on only an hour of sleep.
Shawn carefully walked back through the door, a glass of berry juice in one hand and a chilled pint of Guinness, the thick and lightly colored foam contrasting enticingly with the taupe liquid. Roark’s eyes glistened, and a genuine, small smile tugged at his lips at the sight. A warm, fuzzy feeling emanated from his chest, filling the void and soothing the shame. The man immediately reached for the slightly frosted glass before a hand quickly slapped at his. Immediately, Roark’s face formed into an affronted one, holding his hand to his chest as if it had been burned. Shawn simply raised an eyebrow at him before pointing towards his plate with his fork.
“Eat at least one bite before you go guzzling that shit, alright?” Shawn continued to stare at him, and in that moment, Roark felt like he was being chastised by his mum rather than his mentor. His hands felt almost as if they weren’t his own as he grabbed the fork, tore off a piece of chicken breast, but hesitated just before putting it into his mouth. “I will fucking airplane you if you don’t put that in your mouth right now.” Roark choked down his laughter, remembering a year ago when Shawn snapped and did precisely that.
Obediently, he finally bit into the flesh. The man nearly moaned at the divine taste of the crispy, seasoned skin and the moist white meat practically melting in his mouth. Roark’s mind seemingly turned off at that moment, shoveling in forks full of roasted broccoli and carrots, then gravy and butter-smothered potatoes, before grabbing a leg and taking a large bite through the dark meat. He reached out to grab the pint before having his hand slapped yet again. Roark shot Shawn a smoldering glare, not appreciating the amused look in the other man’s eyes.
“Fuck, use your napkin man. You know better.” Shawn teased with a proud smirk, laughing under his breath. Roark pointed a finger at his smug face.
“Don’ stop an Irishman from drinkin’ his feckin’ beer. Yer lucky ye didn’ ge’ smacked.” Roark joked back before grabbing the napkin and making a dramatic show of wiping his digits. Roark reached over to the pint, brought it up to his lips, and took a large swig, making eye contact the entire time. Shawn chuckled slightly louder at the action, his tired eyes livelier at the sight of Roark relaxing and acting more like himself.
They fell into a comfortable silence, content with just eating, minds blank for once. A dreamlike tranquility that Roark didn’t know he craved, one he knew would shatter should it be disturbed. Despite how initially ravenous the man was, Roark fought to slow down, savor the food, and preserve the moment’s fragility. If not for his sake, then at least for poor Shawn. He worked so hard on this, holding their family together and ensuring every home they stayed in felt like a proper home, not some temporary thing. It was the least Roark could do to repay him for everything.
They were about three-quarters through their meal when the phone rang, vibrating loudly against the hardwood, shattering the hold of the moment. Instantly, Roark’s attitude flipped. His eyes focused solely on the device, and he snatched it so quickly it sent a throbbing pang of neuropathic pain up his limbs. He didn’t miss how Shawn released a disappointed sigh as Roark flipped it open.  
“Wha’s the update?” Roark practically barked out, getting up from the chair and marching toward the living room. A chair squeaked as it was pushed back, footsteps evenly making their way toward the living room but stopped just under the open archway.
“Anderson, is Sinclair there with you?”
“Wha— yes feckin’ Shawn’s here. Get to the point.” Roark’s trembling hands pinched the bridge of his nose, hissing under his breath. His patience ran thinner as he heard the B.S.A.A. soldier sigh heavily and mumble something intelligible through the speaker.
“You’re gonna want to sit down for this—”
“Feck off and get ta the point, Redfield.” He snapped, tone curt, on edge. A gentle hand grasped his shoulder, making Roark freeze. He looked over his shoulder to Shawn, meeting his gaze. His eyes were gentle but firm, a silent plea to let him handle the call. When the other man held out his other hand, Roark couldn’t help but relent and handed the phone over with a withering sigh. Shawn pressed the speakerphone button, holding the phone evenly between the two.
“Sinclair here. What’s the status?” Shawn’s tone was hard, even, and there was no room for argument, contrasting the gentleness to the other man.
“The good news is that there’re a few hostile cadavers left behind at the scene. They all had specialized automatic rifles, flash grenades, and tranquilizing agents on hand. Our scientists are analyzing the tranquilizers, and our weapon analysts are handling the rifles.” Roark held his breath as Redfield’s report unfolded. Drugs, that’s good. They’re typically easy to track. But Redfield’s tone didn’t sound enthused. What else was he hiding? “The bad news is that the cadavers don’t match any of the most likely known mercs that affiliate with bioterrorists. The bioterrorist groups we’ve been keeping tabs on haven’t made any moves.”
“So, what you’re saying is that not only was this a calculated attack, but this could be a new player,” Shawn spoke up, his spine rigid and tense, as he and Roark listened with rapt attention.
“It’s still too soon to say, but as soon as there’s a new development, you’ll be the first to know.” Roark scoffed and rolled his eyes. As soon as he made the noise, he felt a sharp elbow jab into his ribs, making Roark hiss under his breath. “Got something to say, Anderson?” Redfield asked, his tone no less tired but sharper, almost daring Roark to try. At that moment, Roark felt his bubbling detest for the man boil over. He snatched the phone from Shawn’s hands and brought it close to his lips.
“Ye know wha’, feck ye, ye bloomin’ cunt.” Roark spat harshly, glaring at the phone, hoping the soldier could feel his fury through the line.  
“Ro.”
“You ac’ like you care, go’ me little one wrapped around ye li’le finger. Now she’s gone, and all ye go’ is tha’ horse shite?”
“Ro, stop it.” He ignored Shawn’s warning, slipping out of his grasp 
and pacing the living room.
 “Ye don’ care, ye didn’ nurse her back ta health, ye didn’ raise her. All ye did was give her a fart’s whisper of hope, and she’s gone now. All ’cause of ye.” Roark grew louder with every word until he was full-blown screaming. At that point, Shawn stepped right in front of Roark’s mindless path, giving him a long, hard stare. Roark nearly immediately broke eye contact, silently handing the phone back to his mentor.
“You don’t realize that it’s not just your daughter that’s been kidnapped, but my sister as well?” At that revelation, Roark felt his gut drop and start twisting on itself. “Not to mention dozens of other people? That your family isn’t the only one worried sick out of their mind? Fearing that they’re all dead or worse?” A moment of silence passes as Roark stares dumbly at the device. “I get you’re pissed, at me, at B.S.A.A., at everything. I’m fucking pissed too, but I’m doing everything I can to save them.” Redfield’s shouting suddenly stopped with a sharp inhale. “Now, I need to get back to investigating, and as soon as I know anything, I will let you know. Understood?” His tone was still tense, grating, fighting to stay calm and collected. Roark glanced at Shawn before falling back to the ground, the guilt and shame shredding his innards.
“Understood…” Roark muttered, blinking away the tears welling in his eyes.
“Good.” Redfield hung up, leaving the pair in an uncomfortable silence. Shawn flipped the phone closed with his index finger before handing it back to the other man. Numbly, Roark grabbed it, shoved it into his pocket, and immediately ran his hands through his hair, interlocking and tugging at it.
Neither man said a word, nor did they look at each other. They stood there in silence, helpless, the inkling of despair trickling down their spines. After a long minute, Shawn moved back to the remains of the meal. He stacked the empty plates and bowls, holding them in the crook of his elbow while grabbing the partially filled plates with one hand. He then brought the mass back through the kitchen’s swinging door, leaving each man alone to their thoughts.  
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kafkaoftherubble · 6 months
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人生第一次演唱会、感想是:
It was fun! I'm so glad I joined it!
I can't believe I slept all the way to 12pm today! That's completely out of my character! Neither Fionn nor I ever sleep past 9am. Lyi said it's not even that bad when you consider when I started sleeping, which was 3am, and what I was doing hours before sleep. 9 hours after an eventful day is normal in her mind.
Plus, yes, I have initial trouble sleeping comfortably in a foreign bed (even in my own house. Sleeping in a new room or a new bed takes time to get familiarized; new things beg for new attention and so the brain and body both become vigilant), which means the first few hours were fitful. There was also the cumulated fatigue from rushing my work since last week; I haven't had a full 8 hours for a couple of nights, which made naps a necessity—something not at all a habit to most of this life. All that combined probably made me sleep this much, but still... To sleep this late at someone else's home is just... Unbecoming!
Oh, right! The points! I have to write them down because I don't foresee breathing time for my diary writing in this short amount of time, so I'll have to put some thoughts down to strengthen my memory and then I can write my diary without missing the most important beats.
My hypothesis was true. Even with a good few songs I love being sung, and even with multiple moments of genuine mood to dance, I still couldn't feel connected with everyone. Not even with Lyi, or the Indonesian exchange student next to me who was having a full-on karaoke night, or Lyi's friend Ash, who was screaming hard at every single thing. But...
The only thing this distance really did was affirm how happy Fionn and I feel when so many people are happy and enjoying their time. You look from a distance and realize everyone's just fucking stoked. I still wish I was part of that "everyone," but it doesn't take personal involvement to feel vicariously happy. Hmm... Is this "muditā?"
FUCKING HELL, CHRIS MARTIN AND HIS GANG CAN FUCKING BUSK! It was pouring almost 80% of the concert, and the stage and standing area are uncovered, but these mad lads just kept going on and on without letting pesky water stinging their eyes stop them from jamming! He sounds just like his recording! He didn't lip-sync! He cleared his throat at one point! He made up a silly ass song called Malaysian Rain right there and then! It's so fucking Family Get Together Energy. I wonder if this is what a wholesome Thanksgiving Day would look like. We don't celebrate it, but I would love to think this is a taste of it!
The sounds and numbers of humans were astoundingly overwhelming. Being perceptive and attentive to others is the shared trait of both Fionn and the 8-foot Tall Woman, so I adopt it for their benefit, but man... It was just so much that I ended up reverting to Lyn's Real Trait: distant and dumb, hahaha! Nevertheless, there were times when those two would break me out of my default stupor!
I wore a mask because of the crowd and therefore higher chance of airborne viruses being transmitted, especially considering the Malaysian weather pattern come November and December (pouring rain in the late afternoon sometimes to night). But! It also has additional benefits...
I didn't have to worry about not knowing the lyrics and making shits up! I don't have to worry about not singing along! I don't have to worry about my spit on the woman's hijab, who was sitting in the (lower) row in front of me when I shouted "DAMN FUCKING STRAIGHT!" at Chris apologizing for not coming here sooner (2 decades, my dudes!)
There was this nifty LED wristband we all had to wear. Turns out, it lit up in synchronicity and patterns in their concert! It's pure audience engagement—it's the most evident presentation of how you are part of the experience they make. It amazed me immediately how inclusive this felt; Lyi didn't even realize it until I told her about how much I liked it. She thought it was just an amazing audience engagement gimmick and fucking rad aesthetics and theatrics.
I liked it because even someone who can't connect to "the crowd" had this visible evidence that no, you're part of "the crowd" too. I contributed to the show; I enhanced the experience they were trying to give us by being here. That's one of the nicest things someone could ever show me. I mean, people do tell me that they are appreciative of me being here and helpful and whatnot, but I'm an evidence-based debate-y robot-ghost. I can reason myself out of the equation and still doubt my own existence. So nothing makes me happier than to be defeated by solid proof I cannot refute—the scientific way! Coldplay, you fuckers, you defeated my feeling of being unreal with FACTS!
Because of this... I didn't feel alone at all!
I liked it the most when my wristband was this dim, orange-like yellow. When our wristbands were yellow. I think it's because it reminded me of chamomiles, my favorite flowers... though technically chamomiles is orange on the inside and white on the outside hahahaha. Wait why do I associate yellow with chamomiles?!
Bruh I have so much respect for bigshots who come on time. I'm so used to self-important bigshots, those YB and Dato and whatnot, to be late. And celebrities love being late too. Bigshots are like that. But no, Coldplay came on time. Right on the clock. I cannot stress the magnitude of how impressed I was. Even the concert ended on time.
But the crowd on the way out and back to the metro was claustrophobic. Luckily my bag was big and fat enough that I used it to clear up space in front of me, therefore making sure there was never any actual squeezing around me. I didn't want my claustrophobia to act up and made me suddenly disassociate and then the body started screaming and shrieking and barreling through people on its own. That would ruin everyone's experience and mood! And also just stressful for everyone.
The bottleneck issue stemmed from the train gates. There were only this many pass gates. I think our public transport company deserves to profit from concerts and events since they operate at quite a loss most time of the year (Malaysians and their love for cars; some of that love is because cars are a way to show off status. The lack of pedestrian infrastructure and walking+biking culture too). But I think they should just make the pass free in This Station, where the stadium is, and then charge everyone a fixed price when they disembark at whatever station they chose when passing through that station's gate. This will ease the load on This Station.
I mean, they are already operating the trains on overtime—way past their usual last train. This sort of special case adjustment should be pretty easy to implement. Shall I make this suggestion to them?
I shall treasure this memory and not let it be forgotten!
-----
Even before the concert, there was something to talk about!
I originally planned to walk all the way from The Mall to the stadium. Yes, it was pouring by that time—exactly as I predicted.
Which is why I brought my favorite piece of clothing! The yellow raincoat I bought because I love the way it looked on Jonah Kahnwald in Dark. Now there's an additional love for it because it was how Atom was introduced in Pluto!
I surmise that yellow raincoats are the classic outfit to put on for childlike people going through strange experiences. Isn't that swell?! Maybe the odds of seeing a ghost will increase if I wear a yellow raincoat! Or an interdimensional portal.
Nah, it doesn't do jackshit. It's just rainwear! But still, it means I can ramble in the rain! Isn't that just as swell?!
But I didn't get to because Lyi was like "DUDE I NEED YOU TO BE IN THIS STATION WHERE THE MALL'S FREE SHUTTLE BUS GOES, NOT THE STADIUM YET"
and my sister was like "Didn't you buy a book? IT WILL BE WET IF YOU WALK." "My bag is waterproof!"
"Your shoes will get wet!" "My boots are waterproof!"
"There is no pedestrian pathway!" "Yes there is, I walked it before when I was an intern!"
"There will be fumes and what if you catch a cold?" "I am masked and I have also prepared a towel!"
".... DEGIL MACAM BABI (you're stubborn as shit) I WANT TO FLY OVER HERE TO SLAP YOU WITH A SELIPAR (slipper)"
So no walking in the rain, unfortunately. No rambling. Kinda suck, but I'll find another chance.
And yes! I bought a book because I couldn't believe I found it! It's not a full collection, even though it's only 8 books in the entire series. Vol. 4 and 6 were missing. Also, I think it displaced my To Your Eternity manga; the position the series occupied was where I found my Vol. 18 the last time. Hmm. Bit of a "I got it! But at what cost?" situation, innit?
The book in question?
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Weeeee! My bag was too fat and packed to handle multiple volumes, so I could only pick one. I picked the last one this time!
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purplesurveys · 2 years
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1557
When was the last time you fell?: Couple of weeks ago when I slipped in the bathroom and damn near knocked my head straight to the ground. Literal millimeters away from a bad concussion; and it would’ve left me shaken up for the rest of the morning and given me an existential crisis if I didn’t just have to immediately get back to work lol.
What’s the last flavor of ice cream you had?: I had the cookies and cream variant of the Magnum ice cream.
Do you know a Stephen?: Nope, nobody comes to mind.
Green or Purple?: Purple.
Are you currently mad at anyone?: I’m feeling a bit resentful towards a certain person, but not mad.
Do you own any sundresses?: Yeah, I have a lot of them because I used to have a sundress phase back in high school and college. I’ve mostly grown out of it now, but I still keep the dresses around if in case I need to wear something lightweight and comfy.
Have you done any deep cleaning recently?: No.
Have you ever cooked a meal for a large group of people? I was about to say no until I remembered that one of our major projects in home economics when I was in high school was to come up with a food business and serve the entire high school body for a day. Thinking about it now, it’s an insane assignment that should technically be illegal lol – but in any case, we had to do that and I remember our group coming up with a burger business. We had something else too...chicken tenders I think it was? We had to make hundreds of each dish and overall it went well, but again thinking about it now I’m just glad we never heard of any health issues from the students who bought from us.
Do you like reading peoples survey answers?: Sure!
Do you check your email daily?: My work email I obviously check every weekday since that’s part of my routine – but I keep it off-limits on weekends because boundaries; as for my personal email, I check it probably once a week.
Have you ever used a whole tube of chapstick or do you usually lose it before doing so?: I don’t use lip balm.
When did you last wash your hands?: Around an hour ago after using the washroom.
Do you enjoy being outside in the rain?: I love the rain, but I don’t like being stuck in it – like I hate having to drive while it’s pouring hard. It’s only calming to me when I happen to be safe indoors.
What are some lyrics to the last song you listened to?: "On a day you hate being yourself, on a day you want to disappear forever, let’s build a door in your mind. Once you open the door and enter, this place will wait for you, it’s okay to believe the magic shop that will comfort you.”
Do you ever read the newspaper or get all your news online or television? Online. It was never a habit of mine to read the newspaper.
Have you ever watched a meteor shower?: No, they are never visible here.
Does the number 8 have any significance to you? No, it doesn’t.
Who has the best hair that you know?: A person I work with has naturally curvy hair that I find really pretty.
Have you ever been to an aquarium?: Yeah, I’ve been to the one in Manila. I'm 100% sure I’ve also gone to an aquarium abroad, but I can’t remember which country it was.
Are you currently happy?: Yeah, I’m generally a happy person as long as you take out the work aspect of my life. I can’t wait to get that shit all sorted out, lmao.
What’s a reason for your happiness?: Self-love and contentment is a big part of it.
Is there a light on in the room you’re in?: Yes.
Do you know anyone that has a birthday today?: Yeah, it’s Kaye’s birthday today! She was supposed to host a birthday dinner this weekend and invited me to it, but last Thursday she told me she was going to hold it off for now since med school got a bit too hectic. Anyway, I’m just waiting for the rescheduled date but I’m definitely going to be there; I’ve really appreciated how she’s seemingly come out of nowhere to be closer with me the past few months and I’d love to be able to celebrate her day with her.
Have you ever been to a car show? I don’t think so. I’m trying to remember if my dad has brought me to one in the past, but my memory is coming up blank so it’s most likely a no. Do you like grocery shopping?: Sure. It can be tempting to put a bunch of snacks in the cart though haha but otherwise I find the experience pretty calming.
Have you ever been in a play?: We held school productions every year and participating in them was mandatory, so yup. I’ve never been in a play voluntarily though – I’m not a theatre person.
Can you see a mirror from where you’re at?: Nopes.
Do you have a large or small backyard?: I’d say it’s somewhere in the middle. It doesn’t like, lead to a forest or anything like that lmao but it’s also definitely not cramped. We’ve hosted parties there a few times that comfortably fit a good number of people.
Do you like blueberries? I like some blueberry-flavored things, but not the fruit.
What’s your favorite flavored water?: I don’t like flavored water.
If given opportunity, would you go to outer space?: Continued from last Sunday. Yes, I would. I don’t think the astronaut in me ever died out.
Do you own a record player?: Nah. It’s been part of my wishlist forever, but I just never get around to getting one. I have nowhere to place it in my room anyway so I’m not too bothered.
Has religion ever come between you and somebody?: Yeah. I remember when my ex had some sort of epiphany about religion and suddenly gave God a chance, and that definitely led to a bit of a fallout between us. If I remember correctly it got resolved when we agreed to just never raise the topic of religion and to let each other discover and explore our spirituality on our own – which honestly should’ve already been a blaring red flag.
When did you last have an important conversation with someone?: A few nights ago.
Does caffeine cause you to get shaky? When I’ve had one too many cups. I’m used to drinking 2 full cups at most, and last Sunday when I had 3 it already made my body start freaking out lol. Head was ringing, stomach kept doing somersaults, I took too many trips to the toilet, the whole shebang. Not pleasant at all.
Is there a scar on your body that you can’t explain? No. I know where each of them came from.
Have you ever accidentally shut your finger up in a door?: Fortunately, no. 
What would you say that most people know you for?: Never shutting up about BTS.
What’s your favorite kind of juice?: Idk, let’s just go with orange since I’m most likely to take a sip of that.
Do you have any stuffed animals?: Does Tata count as a stuffed animal? Hahaha I have two. What are you up to today?: I mean it’s 11:43 PM, so all there is left for me to do really is to wrap this survey up and start preparing to turn in.
Do you wear hats often?: Yeah, I wear bucket hats like 8 out of 10 times I’m outdoors.
Do you have any nieces or nephews? Not yet. Waiting for my friends and cousins to give me ‘em ;) Hahaha.
Do you own a religious book?: No.
Have you ever owned a wreck it journal?: Nah. As a teen, unsurprisingly, I really wanted to collect them – but I think even younger me subconsciously knew that I had no creativity to show for those journals, so I never actually ended up buying any versions of it.
What did you last purchase?: A bunch of party stuff for the BTS Busan concert this Saturday. Y’ALL I got a bunch of purple balloons, a purple set and a rainbow set of streamers, and this giant-ass gold ‘7′ balloon lol it’s crazy. I’m ready for this week to end because the first thing I’ll most definitely be doing is to dress the living room up.
What was a celebrity you liked as a kid?: Beyoncé. Still do.
What did you last eat that was spicy?: Ramyeon.
Have you ever had tofu?: Yes, love tofu.
Would you or have you ever held a snake?: I wouldn’t own one as a pet, but I have held snakes before.
Do you peel your apples before eating them?: I just don’t eat apples, period.
Do you season your food a lot?: I don’t cook, but I mean yeah I definitely prefer my food with lots of seasoning because that’s what helps food be more delicious. If I find something a bit bland, Knorr seasoning always helps.
Do you ever light incense? No. I never encounter incense anywhere unless I’m at church and they bring out that contraption thingy that releases the incense smoke.
Is there anything you’d like to say to someone?: Sorry I’ve been a shitty replier, I haven’t been up to talking the past few days but I’ll get back to you soon.
What are you currently wearing?: A white t-shirt with the print of a past viral tweet, and a pair of shorts.
Have you ever gotten up in the middle of the night just to talk to someone?: Grossly enough, yup.
What was the last social event you went to?: A PR event for one of the brands I handle.
Do you use the word “like” excessively? When spoken, yeah pretty often.
What are your thoughts on horse races? I don’t see the appeal.
Do you watch The Simpsons or any other cartoons?: Nope, not really big on cartoon series.
Do you find tattoos attractive?: Not as much as when I was younger.
If you have a car, does it have a name? My parents have given it a name but I never use it haha. I just refer to it by its model name - Mirage.
Why did you last see a doctor?: Haven’t been to the doctor since my UTI diagnosis two years ago. I did go to the dentist a couple of months ago to get a wisdom tooth extracted.
Do you get light headed after getting blood drawn?: I’ve never gotten my blood drawn and don’t think I will ever be up for it, lol.
What did you first think of this morning?: I thought of how loud Cooper was barking, then immediately fell back asleep.
When did you last cry?: LOL earlier watching this emotional video that one of my accounts will be releasing this weekend on their social media. 
What’s the funniest thing you’ve seen today?: Run BTS flying yoga episode hahahahaha
Have you ever been snorkeling? Sure!
Are you clumsy? Continued ages later; holy shit is this survey long lol. Yeah. I’m not as clumsy as I used to be, but I will sometimes still knock cups of water over, trip over air, lose my balance, accidentally slam doors, etc.
Do you prefer satin, cotton, or flannel sheets?: Cotton.
What’s your favorite kind of jam/jelly?: Guava, since that’s the one I’m most familiar with. I’m generally not a fan of jam.
What’s on your bedside table currently?: I have my lamp, earphones, company ID, a couple of ballpens, and ointment.
What’s the best compliment you’ve received recently?: Angela was telling me how this new top I bought suits me really well.
What’s some things you always make sure to pack before going on a trip?: My phone and laptop (and their chargers) and underwear are pretty much my only must-haves. Everything else, I wouldn’t be too bothered if I realize I’ve forgotten to bring them with me.
What’s one of your strengths?: Looking after people.
Have you ever spent more than $100 on a pair of shoes?: Yup.
Would you say you’re an impulsive person? A lot less than I used to be, but yeah I still have my tendencies sometimes.
What have you last been diagnosed with?: UTI, but this was forever ago.
What’s something that makes you quirky?: Idk, maybe some of my habits when it comes to food. Admittedly I’m pickier than I think I am, like the way I absolutely have to peel the skin off fried chicken so I can save it for last, or the way I have a particular ‘trail’ I follow when eating a burger haha.
What types of cheese do you consume the most?: I’d say mozzarella.
Do you purchase extended warranties on your electronics? No.
What was the last restaurant you ate at? I don’t remember the name of the place but it was this wings place in BGC right after we had a pitch. It was the only spot that didn’t have a waiting list and we needed to have lunch immediately so we could go back to work, so we ended up there. It was good! I had this unique dish of theirs that was basically a love child of boneless chicken and pizza lol.
What was the last sweet beverage you had?: Caramel macchiato, last night.
Do you believe in psychic ability? I do not.
Have you ever won any carnival games before?: Not that I can recall.
What was the last fun thing you did?: Watching the BTS Busan concert! Yesterday was PERFECT. I had my place completely dressed up with a ridiculous amount of balloons, and I had these cute and colorful streamers on the walls too and even a giant purple ‘7’ balloon. Six friends came over and it was basically a screaming and singing fest for the whole 1.5 hour show, and it was just so so so so so SO much fun; I was so giddy the entire time and still am haha.
Do you wear glasses?: I do.
What song did you last have on repeat?: Run BTS.
When did you last have pizza delivered?: Yesterday;  it was one of the things I had delivered for our watch party.
What do you normally pay for your hair cuts?: Trims are usually just P100 where I live.
What’s your favorite decoration in your place of residence?: The coffee table we have in the living room - because my late grandpa made it.
How many computers/laptops are in the building you’re in?: Three.
Have you ever been to a rodeo?: Nope.
What frosting goes best on cake?: Chocolate or cream cheese.
How long does it take you to get ready? 15-30 minutes, depending on how indecisive I am on my outfit for the day.
Do you do some form of exercise daily?: No.
Have you ever won a big prize for something?: I’ve won the bigger prizes in a couple of raffles.
Do you think it’s true that good things come to those who wait?: Yeah, but I am also in the belief that you have to actively work hard for those good things to actually be closer to you.
Do you show your feelings?: Sometimes, but I feel like I am more reserved these days. I only show my frustrations and whatnot to people I’m really close to and comfortable with.
Have you ever held a chicken?: I don’t think I have.
Would you rather feel too much or nothing at all?: Too much.
Are you hard to please?: Nopes.
What is today’s date?: October 16.
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latenightdecaf · 3 years
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moodboard sr: x x x
Entry 4 – Alcohol Buzz and Good Company
part of let the pile of good things grow series - series masterlist
previous entry here
Yoongi x reader Ft. nonidol!bts Producer!yoongi, roommate!yoongi, soft!yoongi slow burn romance, slice of life series of drabbles/one shots warning: alcohol consumptions. please kids, don’t drink and drive.
a/n: I got a little carried away on this cause I miss my friends and some good company. probably the longest one so far. I hope you all like it.
Word count: 2,156
After staring at the ceiling for hours cause of work, you got a call from your best friend asking you to hurriedly come into her apartment. And as much as you hate going out, you were ready within ten minutes, all bundled up with huge scarf and leather jacket and less than thirty minutes later, you pulled over Haneul’s apartment.
“Hey! You’re here! Just leave your jacket by my room. People are coming in soon.” Standing by her front door, “People? Like more than 3?” She knows you; you never would’ve come if she said it’ll be a party. She walked with you towards the kitchen, hands on your waist and your arms over by her shoulder. “Yeah, it’s just Taehyung and couple more people. It won’t be big I promise.” Assuring you but you turned to her with a sour look on your face. “You called me up for this?” You pulled the stool by her kitchen counter, tiptoeing and stretching your arms to reach for the tequila bottle. Shot glass ready, you poured yourself one to start with. “Oh shoot I forgot the lemon and salt.” You talked to yourself as your best friend disappeared into her bedroom. You roamed around the kitchen prepared all the lemon and salt you’ll ever need for the night. When Taehyung and a bunch of other people just casually came in.
* People are starting to come but to your surprise it still wasn’t as too much as you expected, which is good. Couple of acquaintances have come and said hi and small talks over their beer and you still sticking with your tequila. After a while, exhausted over a bunch of small talks and feeling that alcohol buzz. You huffed yourself up and sat at the kitchen counter dangling your feet and just staring at it. When a boy came to you with sleeve tattoo in his arms, beer on hand and called you, “Noona.”
You looked at him intently not sure who he is and with a blank expression on your face. You replied, “Noona who?” Still dangling your legs playfully. “You.” “Me?” Still confused, wondering who in the world is this boy. You asked, “I’m sorry you are..?” He came in closer with a hurt expression on his face leaning on the kitchen counter a few inches away from you. “Jk, we met earlier. I’m Taehyung hyung’s…” Cutting him off as you vaguely remembered, “Ah yeah, the singer! Sorry.” You smiled apologetically. “Why are you here alone, Noona?” You laughed as you heard the word ‘Noona’ again. “Dude come on, i’m just at least a year or two older than you… probably. You’re can’t be that young, so we’re basically friends. No need for that, you can just call me by my name. If you don’t remember, you can just call me “hey” that’ll do either.” He laughed softly at your remarks and drank his beer.
You hopped off the kitchen counter, poured you and Jk a shot if tequila. Clinking your glass together, making sour faces after licking off some salt on top of your hand and Jk choosing lemon this time. When Haneul walked in the kitchen, looking for you.
“Hey, I knew you’d be here. Hi, Jk!” As she leaned by the counter top beside you two. You looked at your best friend, eye squinting from all the booze consumed and asked, “You know that I’m drunk and all, so you’ll probably forgive me for this question. But what in the world is the deal with you and Taehyung?!” Raising your voice towards the end for emphasis. She laughed. “What do you mean what is the deal with us? Nothing.” You gave her a shot of tequila to drink. “So its purely sexual then?” She barfed, spilling over the tequila you just offered. Jk finding himself getting caught in the middle of all this, just grabbed a tissue and helped her clean. “Yes and no.” Haneul finally answered. You raised an eyebrow but no longer wanting to pry. “I just don’t want you kids regretting these decisions, okay? I don’t want to be caught up in the middle of all these. I tell you now. I love you both, so it’s either you stop your shenanigans and just stay friends or you declare love and the shenanigans shall continue.” They both laughed at your comment. Jk who is now somehow involved in this conversation asked, “But do you like him? Like you feel butterflies when you see him?” You smiled and drank another shot of tequila at such innocent notion. “Aigoo, young one. You really think it’s all butterflies and unicorns huh.” You said to Jk while mockingly tapping on his shoulder. To your surprise, Haneul answered. “I do like him.” With all seriousness in her tone while holding her empty shot glass in hand. Shocked and probably really drunk, you immediately hugged your best friend. “I am so sorry, Haneul. Taehyung is just the worst guy to fall into.” You said while still hugging her, laughing and crying at your statement. You pulled away to reach for your almost empty bottle of tequila and Haneul playing along and fake crying. “Come on, love. Let’s just drink your feelings away. I’ve been friends with the guy for a long time, the man doesn’t know what love is.” Haneul took another shot of tequila from you and said “I know.” Jungkook drinking his bottle of beer empty asked, “And do you?” Looking at this guy in disbelief, blinking several times you asked, “And do I what? Know what love is?” You raised your eyebrow at the end. He nodded innocently. You paused before you answered. “No I don’t either. I need some air.” You declared and grab both of them by their arms, Jungkook hopping off the kitchen counter. Taking both of them with you outside and when you three did, it was raining. Both arms intertwined in each of your friend’s, as you three looked all peacefully at the rain. “Make the rain stop, young one!” Tugging over Jungkook’s tattooed arm. He laughed. “I can’t do that, Noona.” “What?! But I heard you can do anything…” Looking at him curiously. “That I can’t do. You want me to sing instead?” Jungkook jokingly offered. “Don’t, you’re going to make her cry.” Pertaining to Haneul who now looks so solemn while looking at the rain with your right arm around her shoulder and her head resting on yours.
Muffled house music in the background along with the sound of the rain. “I’m afraid you’re one of us now, Young one.” You said to Jungkook. And he looked over to the both of you and smiled. “I don’t mind. I like you two.” “Thanks. Okay you may now sing.” You jokingly said and Haneul elbow jabbed you by your rib. “I’m just kidding!!” You took it back immediately. And you three laughed. You’re glad you went to this party despite the exhausting small talks. You’re glad it distracted you from work. You’re glad, you have good people in your life.
“Love, I’m sorry—but real talk, you gotta sort things out with Taehyung. I love the man, but you know he doesn’t do relationship or any form of commitment. You’re just setting yourself up for heartache.” You said as you comfort your best friend. “I know, I’ll sort it out I promise.” Wiping her tears and looking up to you. “Good girl.” You pat her head lightly. “Brave girl.” Jungkook said and extended his arms to wrap you both in a group hug.
After a while you all went inside and rest Haneul into her bed.
On your way out of her bedroom you casually bumped into her door frame, holding on to your shoulder and punching lightly that door frame for bumping into you. Jk who is right behind you said laughing, “Noona you’re drunk.” Still holding onto your shoulder, pouting and with furrowed eyebrows you replied “No I’m not, also I’m not Noona.”
Putting your jacket on and looking for your keys by the pockets. Jk said, “Why don’t I drive you home?” not looking up and still looking for your keys you answered, “Why don’t you go ahead, young one.” “Noona, your keys.” He lift your left hand up with keys and and your phone together. You grinned. “Well there it is!” Jungkook just scratched his head.
You looked at your new found friend to gently assure him, hand on his shoulder and said, “Young one, I live exactly 8 stop lights away from here. All I have to do is go straight, and on the 8th stop light, turn left right into my building. Now, I promise—I promise, I promise not to doze off in the between those stoplights. Not that I haven’t tired but the sound of those honking cars literally woke up.” Your last sentence, made his eye grew. But you continued, “Now don’t you worry okay? Take care of Haneul and Taehyung for me cos I gots to go.” And you turned your back and heard him say, “But noona…” You waved him good bye.
* It’s not the safest and you know that, Joon always hates it when you still insist on driving even after having a drink. But you love driving, once you’re in your car—holding the steering wheel it sobers you up but you know it’s still not an excuse. You try not to do it anymore but tonight is just one of those nights you said to yourself. Minutes later you were already parking your car carefully, not to hit your roommate’s and after a long while as you keep feeling dizzier, you were able to park. Maybe Yoongi will just have a hard time getting in his car but you’ll just say sorry in the morning.
You can already feel your headache coming in as soon as you stepped out of the car. Walking towards the stairs, without noticing that the steel staircase is wet due to the rain you continued climbing up and eventually slipping forward. Your right knee landed in first and your forehead second. You eventually caught yourself up to sit and cry in pain. Rubbing your knees and your forehead and removing your shoes to continue climbing up the stairs. And tightly holding onto the railings and into your apartment. You continue crying in pain as your fall made your head ache even more. You walked inside your pitched dark apartment, waving over the ceiling light and your motion sensor light up front doesn’t seem to be working. So, you put down your shoes, went inside and tripped over to what apparently is Yoongi’s shoes. And you landed on your knees again that caused a loud thud and made you yell in pain. Holding on to your knees again, lying on the floor by the door as you cry silently in pain.
You sigh in your misery. Yoongi who also just got home 20 mins before you, got out of the bathroom in his pajamas and saw you lying in the hallway while you hug your knees. He opened the lights by the hallway, drying his hair with a towel and he looked at you all puzzled.
“Hey, are you drunk?” You didn’t even looked up, you just kept hugging your knees and said, “Yoongi-ah, the front door light isn’t working.” “I’ll fix it in the morning.” Closing the bathroom door, he’s still looking at you by the hallway. “Are you planning on sleeping there?” You let out a loud sigh and gathered all the will to get up. Feeling a thousand times dizzier, you are literally seeing 5 of Yoongi. Together with the pain in your knees. You hold on by the wall and ever so slowly walked towards your room. “What happened to your forehead?” Yoongi asked as you walked past by him, still holding onto the walls. You didn’t even stop in his comment. You just continued walking slowly because if you did, you might cry—and you don’t want to cry in front of him. He caught up with you and said, “Are you okay?” Your eyes are already red, you just nodded and said, “Yeah I’m fine.” Entering your bedroom and closing the door.
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uglypastels · 4 years
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To the Beat // drummer!Tom 1/2
(a/n) here it is!!! it took about a decade of my life but i think it was worth it  also shoutout to @duskholland​ for hearing out my ideas when i was brainstorming and together with @captainpeggy40​  for getting me through my breakdowns while writing. i got it finished!! <3 I really went all out with this fic, so i hope you guys enjoy it!! part 2 will come... sometime this week ;)
word count: 7939 (unnecessary content GALORE) 
warning: drinking, swearing, crowded spaces, part 2 contains smut 
you can find the band’s setlist here
not all songs are mentioned in the fic but it’s songs that i would really love to see them play haha. if anyone would be interested, i can make a seperate post on how i imagine them playing it (who sings and stuff idk)
Read part 2 here <---> extra headcanons here
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With the right stranger, one night can feel like a lifetime.
“Will you please come?” your friend begged you over the phone. “It’s gonna be really fun!” 
“You know, you say that a lot, yet I never have as much fun as you promise.” You sat down on your bed, looking out the window as the rain hit every surface outside. It was not exactly the weather you felt like going out in. 
“Then that’s on your extremely high expectations, not on me.” She stated, “But pleeease.” She kept on whining, and you knew she wouldn’t stop until you gave in. It always went like this. Always. 
“Ugh, fine.” you fell back on the soft mattress, your head only missing the pillow by an inch. “Where is it actually?” There was the question you both dreaded. You, because you knew you wouldn’t like the answer. Her, because she knew you wouldn’t either. 
“It’s at Suki’s,” she mumbled, but you could still hear her just fine. 
“That’s where you work right- please don’t tell me you’re working tonight?!” you groaned into the phone. 
“I am, but I’ll be done around 9.30 I think, so there’s still plenty of time for us to hang out! Besides, you already said yes, and NO TAKE BACKSIES!” she said this all extremely fast and screamed the last two words into your ear. Then, on top of that, hung up as soon as she finished, not giving you even a second to fight back. Not sure what happened, you stared at the black screen of your phone in confusion. 
She said the concert started at nine o’clock. Did she really expect you to go to this thing and spend half an hour by yourself? Or did she want you to sit at the bar while she poured drinks for everyone? Either way, none of those options felt appealing. For a solid minute, you contemplated just not going, just… not showing up. Turning off your phone and watching a movie or something at home. 
But at the same time, you hadn’t left the house for a long time. And it was Friday night. Why not go out and see some obscure little band. What was their name again? Your friend had mentioned it, but you already forgot. Maybe it was for the better too. That way, you couldn’t look them up beforehand, and if they were shit, you would just find out there and not have another thing to be dreading as you got ready. Or maybe they would be good. Then it would be a pleasant surprise on the spot. 
You checked the time. 7:27pm. That gave you about an hour to get ready and then some time to actually get to the bar. Should be doable. 
So, you hopped in the shower to get all fresh again. Even if it would all get ruined later on in the night by standing in a sweaty crowd. It’s the effort to look presentable that counts. Then, you picked out an outfit that would be comfortable in the before mentioned crowd. You could never go wrong with the simple jeans and a t-shirt combo. 
Looking in the mirror, the thought of Not Going popped up in your mind again. There was nothing really obliging you to go. And the idea of standing there listening to the loud music, whether it was good or not, sounded slightly exhausting. 
No, you reminded yourself, it would do you good to leave the house once in a while. Have “fun”. You checked the time once more, 8:14. You had done everything a bit quicker than you expected. The Uber you had arranged for yourself would be there in a few minutes. So, you were stuck in that kind of waiting limbo, sitting on your couch, not sure what to do. Eventually, you put on your shoes and got your keys and were ready to head out. 
The drive was quick and thankfully, mostly quiet. It was only a minute or two before you reached your destination that the driver decided to ask you where you were headed. 
“Concert,” you said hesitantly. Why did these people always want to know your business? Thankfully, the man didn’t ask much more. And then it was time for you to get out of the car. The drive actually took much less time than you had expected and there was still some time left before the band would start to perform. 
Suki’s was a bar downtown, in the basement of some kind of law firm. Their whole thing was that they let new bands and artists play each week so they could get some of the public’s interest going. Make themselves known to the world. It was literally and figuratively, an underground following that it had. Many, but at the same time, nobody knew about it. It was a secret amongst music lovers. Considering the bar wanted to stay its own secret, you never understood the bright neon lights above the entrance, going down the staircase all the way to the actual hall. 
The bar itself wasn’t too big. Enough space for a small stage along one wall, a bar on the opposite side, and the rest was space for the crowd to either enjoy or hate the music being played. When you walked in the room was still relatively empty. You saw two guys setting up equipment on stage, you assumed it was the band. Behind them was a black banner with “Winter Solstice” written in scratchy white letters. Between the words, a star that was drawn on in precisely the same rough manner. You had to admit, it was a cool name. 
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Considering there weren’t many people there yet, you headed for the bar to get yourself a drink before it would be too crowded to even reach the counter. And there stood your friend, behind the bar talking to some guy. They were both laughing at something as you walked up. 
“y/n! You came!” you squealed out, “what can I get ya?” 
“A beer?” you said it more like a question. 
“Coming right up.” And with that, your friend walked off to the tap to pour you your drink. It was more out of reflex when you sat down on the stool, you leaned your head on your hand, but you understood the question from the stranger when he spoke up. 
“Not looking forward to it?”
Still with your chin on your knuckles, you turned to face him. 
“Huh? Oh no, I mean… she kind of made me come here, but-” you tried not to sound too pessimistic, but the guy saw right through you.
“So, I guess the answer is yes.” He chuckled. Right then, your friend came holding your drink and put it in front of you. 
“I’ll put it on your tap.” She was going to join the conversation but right then a group of tonight’s spectators walked up in need of drinks, so she was soon off again. 
“I’m not not looking forward to it?” nothing in your voice made it sound like you were sure of yourself, but it was enough for him. You took a sip of your beer, which you could feel helping the situation. While doing that you looked over the brim of the tall glass to look at your conversation partner. Like you, he was drinking a beer himself and considering it was almost empty, he had done that either very fast, or he had been there for a while already. 
Next, you took a look at him. From the profile, he looked pretty good. He was wearing a loose tank, showing off his arms. His dark curly hair was held back with a black cap that he wore backwards. What definitely stood out to you was his jawline. It looked like you could cut yourself on it just with the slightest of touches. For everyone’s sake, you quickly turned your gaze over to the extensive liquor collection in front of you. But you could see in the reflection behind the bottles how he was smiling to himself. He definitely saw you stare. This was awkward, and you only got here two minutes ago.
“So, do you know the band?” you asked in the hopes to weed out this weird situation you had created. For some reason, your question made him smile. In that type of way as if you had just mentioned an inside joke. Except you weren’t in on it, so you couldn’t laugh along. 
“Yeah, they’re alright.” He shrugged. Then, as if he suddenly remembered something, he shot up straight in his seat. “I’m Tom, by the way.” 
“y/n.” Then you remembered how your friend practically screamed out your name when you walked in, “but you already knew that.” Your phone vibrated with a text, so you took it out and immediately saw the time, it was already past nine. You looked over at the stage where the two guys were trying to untangle some chords. Clearly, it wasn’t starting anytime soon. 
“What kind of music do they play?” You asked Tom while still looking at the band trying to get ready. 
“A bit of everything, I suppose.” 
You bit your cheek not to say anything that might come off rude, but he could still read you. 
“I guess that wasn’t the right answer?” He raised an eyebrow. 
“I just hoped to get something more specific, but as long as they’re good, I’ll enjoy it.” You took another sip of your beer as an excuse to shut up. He must think you’re such a bitch at this point. You saw him glance over your shoulder at the stage and then smile at you. 
“I like you.” there was that chuckle of his again, “I’ll see you later, then.” And he got up. You were gonna ask why later? Why couldn’t you hang out now? You didn’t like to admit it, but you enjoyed his company, even though it was only brief and most of the time you spent it making yourself look like a moron. As superficial it made you sound, you simply enjoyed the presents of a good looking guy like him.
You were going to ask him, but he quickly disappeared into the crowd that started to form along the foot of the stage. More and more people were coming and joining in. The two guys from the band had finally untangled their chords and were placing their guitars over their shoulders, and plugged them into the amplifiers. That’s when you noticed that a spot was empty on the stage. The big drum set had no occupant yet. 
So, while everyone waited for the drummer to show up, you took this time to look at the other two band members, trying to decide which one was the cuter one. 
That turned out to be slightly more difficult of a task, you quickly realised. Though they were both very different, they were both also extremely good looking. There was the blonde, strumming a few simple chords on his guitar to warm up. Even in the dim light, you could see how perfectly chiselled his face was. He was wearing a slightly oversized button-up shirt with about half of the buttons open. The skinny jeans didn’t seem comfortable to you, but he made them work. The rings on his fingers reflected in the lights as he kept on strumming. 
The other had a bit more of a playful vibe around him. His curly mop of hair bounced with every move he made. You could hear his loud and contagious laugh all the way from the other side of the room without the need for a microphone. His outfit was something completely different compared to the blonde. It consisted of a baggy t-shirt (that you could read the band logo on), with ripped dungarees that were only attached on one side. He had rolled them up, showing off his bright converse. His bass guitar was currently hanging behind his back as he adjusted the mic stand one last time. There was something familiar about him, though you were sure had never seen him before. 
Then finally, a third person joined them. People cheered since it meant that they could finally start playing. You tried to get a good look at him before he hid behind the drum set. Hair was hiding beneath a cap, tank top… wait… was it-
You got up and walked through the audience. There weren’t that many people, so it was reasonably easy to get to the front. Or, almost at the front row, standing right in front of them felt a bit intimidating. Now you could see all three of them much better, and there was no denying it. Your new acquaintance Tom was the drummer. And when you looked over at the curly bassist again, you realised why he looked so familiar. It was not an identical resemblance, but there was enough that made you think they were related somehow. 
You watched Tom spin one of his drumsticks in his hand. He had the biggest smile on his face, then he caught your eye and winked. The cheeky bastard knew exactly what he was doing, you were sure of it. He was waiting for your surprised reaction, and you fell for it completely—hook, line and sinker. 
The curly one got up to his microphone. “Hey everybody, we’re Winter Solstice,” his voice was much deeper than you had expected. Especially, considering that he actually looked younger than the other two, you noticed. “We thought you’d appreciate some more known songs tonight, so join in whenever.” 
Alright, they were gonna do covers. That was not a wrong move at all. A lot of bands want to show off their own music, but most of the time that leaves the audience just swaying awkwardly because they don’t know the lyrics or what to expect. 
“Here’s one you all should know.” 
The blonde started playing his guitar, and it only took a second or two before everyone realised what song it was. Mr Brightside. It sounded a bit different, as their attempt to make the song their own, but the riff was unmistakably Mr Brightside. Everyone around you immediately cheered and started to dance along, waiting to sing the lyrics. You were too, of course, but all you could think about was Tom playing in the back. He looked so focused, but still didn’t let it sit in the way of enjoying the song. 
In the song, the drums probably only started a beat before the lyrics, so you missed out on the first few words, but quickly you were singing too. 
“But she’s touching his chest now, he takes off her dress now. Let me gooo,” the blonde guitarist sang. His voice wasn’t perfect, it was rough, some might have called it cursive, but in that right sort of way. It fit well with the rest of the band and how they played. In just a minute, they had gotten the entire room hyped up. Everyone was into it. Maybe it was because of the song choice, but you doubted it. A song like that can be tricky to sing to a new crowd. If you screwed it up, they’d hate you forever.  
That was definitely not the case here, they had the crowd in the palms of their hands. With each beat, you were pulled in…or, was that just you? 
The second verse started, and it was the bassist that began to sing: “I'm coming out of my cage, and I've been doing just fine-” There was no clear description of his voice. At least you couldn’t really pinpoint it. There was definitely that playfulness in it that he had been showing through everything he did. He couldn’t stay still, jumping in place, making his curls bump up and down as he went. 
“It was only a kiss” 
It was Tom that said the little interjection in the song. You had only looked his way at the end, while the other was already singing, but you felt as if he had been looking at you directly. No, he wasn’t. Why would he? You shook the thought off and continued enjoying the performance of the three men. You sang along just like everyone else. 
And then the song ended. It was almost unbelievable that it had only been one song that they played, but they moved on to the next quickly. 
The guitar faded out but came straight back, accompanied by a heavy bass line. Some people around you recognised the melody, but it took you a moment or two. Then it went quiet. The blonde leaned into his microphone, whispering the words. 
“I’m the invisible man,” guitar riff “I’m the invisible man,” guitar, “Incredible how you can- see right through me!” His voice got louder as Tom joined in with the drums. Then those few seconds of bass followed which actually sent shivers up your spine. To put it simply, you were a sucker for good bass and beat. But what was it about them that sounded so good? You couldn’t think of anything particular that would have set them apart from all the other artists you had seen perform in the club through the years… 
Still, seeing them have so much fun on stage, it was truly intoxicating, you wanted to join them. You couldn’t remember the last time you had seen someone jump around on that little stage while playing bass. You couldn’t wait to find out what their names were, but for now, “the curly bassist” didn’t take a second to stand still. The only time he stood in one spot was when he had to sing, and even then he moved around a lot. 
The others didn’t have that same luxury. Of course, Tom did not have a lot of options, sitting behind his drum set. Yet still, he managed to light up the stage with his bright smile and the passion he put into his drumming. Any time you looked at him, you didn’t want to look away- which was hard, considering that the other two were also a great joy to watch. 
The blonde, in his turn, stayed on his side of the stage, being somewhat stuck with his microphone since he had the most vocals. But he still had a great connection with the audience, you felt like. 
Before you knew it, the second song had also come to an end. Cheers and applause erupted in front of the band, with you contributing to it as well, of course. 
“Thank you, thank you,” the bassist took a little bow. Even though they weren’t playing any song, he still slapped one of the strings mindlessly. “Like I said, we’re Winter Solstice. My name’s Harry.” He introduced himself. Finally, you could call him something else than the curly bassist. Even though it was a very catchy nickname, you thought yourself. 
“Here on the guitar,” Harry pointed out, “Is my good friend Harrison.” Harrison waved to the crowd, receiving screams from the audience as if it was filled with banshees. 
“In the back,” Tom immediately started a soft drum roll, but Harry didn’t wait that long, “that’s Tom.” Tom reacted with a face that could only be described as “bruh”, making several people around you laugh. You wondered if it was rehearsed or if this was just how they were. Either way, it was cute. 
Harry talked some more about how they were excited to play tonight, but you were looking at Tom. You watched him grab a water bottle and drink half of it in almost one chug. When he pulled it away from his mouth, you saw that he caught you staring. Even though you were between dozens of people, even though the light that was shining in his face- he saw you. And he winked again. In the next moment, you had to think if the heat burning through your body was an effect of that little gesture or because of how warm it was in the room. For your own sake, you went with the second option. 
“Alright, here’s another song for you all,” it was a voice you hadn’t heard speak before. Harrison. “Here’s: You Oughta Know.” There was a mixed reaction from the audience, including you. Of course, you knew the Alanis Morisette song, but you had never heard it be played by men.  It was definitely an interesting choice for them to play, especially after the Killers and Queen. 
“I want you to know that I am happy for you,” it was Tom that started singing, as he drummed softly. You tried to control your thoughts as he kept on singing. Then the pre-chorus began, and you were shocked at how well they harmonised. 
“Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide.” It actually gave you chills. How were you so excited about listening to three strangers sing? 
At the chorus itself, everyone in the room went wild, singing along loudly. It was clear that the people were sold on this new version of the song. It was all fine. You were enjoying the show. It was actually fun. And then, Tom sang the next line- 
“It was a slap in the face. How quickly I was replaced. And are you thinking of me when you fuck her?” It sure was a slap in the face. You had to remind yourself that it was just the lyrics of the song. And he was just a guy on stage that you had only exchanged a few words with prior. Yet, you couldn’t focus on anything from that moment on. You could barely comprehend their version of “Are You Gonna Be My Girl”, not even really understanding that they were playing a different song. It was just a big blur. But maybe it was for the better, because could you really cope with Tom singing the titular phrase of the song in that husky way that he did... debatable. 
When you woke up from your daze, Tom had stood up to show the crowd the beat to clap to. You joined in before anyone noticed how far out of it you indeed were. Harrison finished the song off with a falsetto and then it was already time for the next song. 
This time you knew what to do. You wanted to record at least some part of the show. And when harry started a bass solo, you made sure to get at least a bit of it and continued filming from there, ready to post it on your Instagram later on. Harrison joined in with the guitar, and you actually had no idea what song they were playing. More people didn’t seem to recognise the song immediately, which visibly amused the musicians. They couldn’t hide their grins even behind the microphones. Once again, the harmonies… how did they sound so good? 
As the song continued, the more sure you were that you had heard it before, but it must have been very different from the original. No, actually… How did you not recognise Dua Lipa? It was not hard to forget about the original when you got to listen to this version. How had each song so far been this good, you still didn’t understand. You didn’t want it to end. 
But unfortunately, right after that, they took another break from singing. 
“Alright!” Harrison cheered (more squeals from his side of the audience followed. Apparently he had started to gain quite the following). “The next song is another classic, I like to think.” People whooed. “So we’d like some help from you guys if that’s okay.” The crowd seemed to be into it, so Tom followed with the instructions. 
“Okay, so we’re gonna start playing in a sec, and Harry will sing a little melody. Just copy that, and we’ll be on our way.” In the meantime, Harry had gone off stage to grab a bottle of water, so everyone had to wait for a second. This gave Tom the opportunity to freestyle on his drum set. It was a simple beat, but it progressed into a more complex set. He, however, did it effortlessly. 
Finally, Harry came back running, he threw bottles to the other two, which they both caught without a problem. Tom started to press the bass drum steadily, layering more on top of it. Then Harry joined with the bass, and ultimately, Harrison’s guitar finished it off. Harry leaned into the microphone. 
“Ooooo-ooo-oo-oo, ooooo-ooo-oo-oo, oooo-oo-oo,” he almost whistled, but not quite. He continued a few times, together with Tom and Harrison until everyone in the room was singing along. Then made that kind of gesture to show you had to stop. Harrison sang the verse. Anytime it was your turn, you’d just follow Harry. 
You had been to many concerts, but not many new bands had much luck in getting a full crowd to participate in the song. But by the way they played, everyone just wished they could be in the band, playing along with them. Even if it was just dangling the triangle. You, however, didn’t want that, necessarily. You assumed that it was the fact that you hadn’t been out of the house in so long, that now that you had the chance, everything felt hundred times more great. So a concert that was already amazing, suddenly felt like a euphoric, once in a lifetime, experience… though that might go a bit too far. And it for sure helped that all three band members were hot. Like, really really hot. 
Literally, too, the room was getting really warm at this point, and the guys were visibly hot also. It didn’t stop them from performing at 110% though. A few songs more passed by and Harry was still jumping around the stage. Harrison sang every note perfectly as he slew that guitar of his and Tom… 
You could barely look at Tom. Playing the drums as hectically (in the good sense) as he did, you thought he would be exhausted by now. But he still had that big perfect smile on his face. The sweat was dripping down his arms, but it just highlighted his biceps, making it very hard for you to concentrate on the music. And then, no matter what he was doing, he would find you in the crowd and smirk or wink, making you even more flustered than you were before. The first time, you thought he was doing it to someone else. But then it happened again, and again. And the beat of drums led your heart. You could feel it in your throat as it kept pumping with the loud music. 
It was during their little break which they used to goof around and play the intro of “Chelsea Dagger”, that you decided to go back to the bar. Your friend had said she wouldn’t leave you alone for the entirety of the concert, but you were already quite some songs in and there was still no sign of her. And you quickly realised why that was. Since the show had started, the entire room had filled up with people. You had never seen it be so crowded, in fact. And then the bar was packed with people asking for their drinks. 
Your friend was indeed there, with another bartender, doing her best to pour the drinks quickly. But more and more people got thirsty, so it was easy to assume you would have to spend the rest of the night alone as well.
By that time, the band started on the next song of their setlist, and you really thought they were playing one big joke on you. Or at least this Tom guy was. As he loudly sang Sex on Fire, by Kings of Leon, you decided to sit this one song out from the front row and stay back, near the bar. It actually did you well, because it was much less hot than upfront. You could just stay there for the rest of the show. They had been through around ten songs already, so they must be done soon, either way, you thought. 
And you were right. Ending with Come Together, the applause was bigger than through the entire night. The boys finished with extended solo’s of their respective instruments and a bow, and it was really over. Harry came up to the microphone one last time as the other two were already getting off stage. 
“Thank you! We are Winter Solstice! Buy our merch at the door! GOODNIGHT!” 
The idea of buying a t-shirt was pretty fun. And apparently, you weren’t the only one who thought that. Far from it, actually, The line at the little merch booth quickly exceeded the length of the small concert hall. You wondered if they even had enough things to sell. Would it even be worth it to stand in line? You just waited for the stream of new fans to cool down.
Eventually, it did. Slowly, but surely, the line got shorter. You also noticed that there were a few people that had the exact same idea as you had, so you joined the queue before the rest could. You didn’t even have to wait that long. Before you knew it, you were standing at the little table. There were piles of t-shirts and cd’s, and there were more boxes behind the table too. They really came prepared. Harrison had just been folding up an empty box when you walked up. 
“Hi. Can I get a (your size)” you asked, already pulling out your card to pay, “and a CD?” 
“Yeah, of course,” Harry grabbed a shirt for you with a smile. Tom had been talking to the girl that had been in line in front of you, but he quickly turned to look at you when he heard your voice. 
“y/n!” He finished the conversation with the other girl before moving over to join his bandmate. 
“Hey,” you wish it hadn’t been so, but a lot changed since the first time you spoke to him, let it only have been about an hour. There was something about him being in the band you just watched perform and buying his merch, that made you feel like a little school girl standing next to him. 
“I thought you had left.” He noticed you leave? Not the point. 
“No, I just went to the back. It was getting a bit hot for me upfront.” 
“Ah,” he nodded. “Did you enjoy the show then?” 
“Yes!” you said, a bit too loud, “You guys were great.” You looked at the CD that Harry had just handed you and smiled. “And I was wondering if you could maybe sign this for me?” Out of nowhere, Harrison appeared behind Tom, grabbing the CD from your hands and putting his signature right at the centre of the packaging. Just as quickly as he appeared, he went back to whatever he was doing before. But not without sending you a wink first. What was it with these guys and winking? Not that you really minded it. 
Harry took the slightly more polite approach, waiting for you to hand him the CD and he signed it above Harrison’s signature. Then he handed it over, together with the marker, to Tom. 
“So, we got ourselves a number one fan, huh?” 
“No, I’ll just wait ‘til you guys get famous so I can sell it on the internet and get rich.” That was probably not the response Tom had expected, which you immensely enjoyed. Next to him, Harry erupted in a fit of laughter. 
“Haz, did you hear that? She thinks we’ll be famous.” His laugh was even better close up. While Harry and Harrison kept on laughing, you used the moment to speak to Tom, one on one. 
“So why didn’t you tell me you were in the band?” you asked. 
“What does it matter,” he chuckled.
“You let me ask all those questions about the band, it’s fucking embarrassing, man.” you couldn’t help but laugh yourself. 
“Heh, sorry.” he took off his cap to rearrange his hair since some of it had fallen in his eyes through the night. You didn’t know what else to say, so the conversation died down. Then you remembered that there was still a bit of a line behind you of people that wanted to buy the merch as well. 
“Let me just pay for these, and I’ll be off.” 
“No, it’s fine, on the house,” Tom said. You looked at him with wide eyes. 
“Are you sure? It’s really no problem.” 
“Yeah, just promise me one thing.” 
“What?” You raised an eyebrow, not sure what to expect. You didn’t want to jump onto that wagon too quickly. 
“Will you stay? I’d really like to hang out.” 
You weren’t sure what to answer at first. You did want to stay and talk to him, but it was getting late, and you had been standing for a long time, and you were kinda gross from how warm it was during the concert… but Tom was really hot. And he asked so nicely. 
“Sure.” you gave in. “I’ll hang out with my friend at the bar and let ya get back to-” you pointed around the table to make your point across. He nodded and waved you goodbye as you walked away, clutching on to your newly bought merchandise.
Just like you thought, your friend was indeed still at the bar, cleaning up leftover glasses from the counter. She saw you walk over and you could tell she saw something different in you. 
“Look at you beaming, girl! What happened?” she put away the half-dried glass to listen to you. 
“Nothing?” you said casually. She saw right through you though, so you just decided to give up the little act. “Tom asked me to wait behind for him.” You bit your lip, expecting to get a lecture from her. But none of that happened. Instead, she squealed out in, what seemed like, excitement. 
“Ooh, Tom is such a great guy!” 
“You know him?” you asked, surprised. 
“Well, he was the one that got their band the gig here, so we talked here and there, mostly planning,” she explained. “And I mean, look at him.” she sighed and her eyes glazed over a bit when she looked in the direction of the merch table. Not sure what else to do, you followed her action and glanced over. Of course, right at that time, Tom decided to look in your direction as well. He smiled and waved lightly, making your cheeks heat up and quickly look away. Your friend, however, waved back enthusiastically. 
“So you think it’s safe for me-” what were you even gonna ask her? 
“Go have fun, I say. But if anything does happen, remember the codeword?” Her tone changed to a more serious one, which you appreciated. You had agreed ages ago on a codeword to use. In case a date turned for the worst, or generally if something felt off. 
“Broccoli, baby. I know.” 
“Broccoli.” She held up her hand for a high five, which you gladly accepted. 
You chatted for a little bit longer. Every few minutes tho, you’d be sure to glance over your shoulder to see if the merch line was getting any shorter. It didn’t seem like it. There was simply no end to it. You felt yourself getting frustrated. To the point that your friend actually pointed it out, snorting from holding in her laughter. 
“He has got you whipped, hasn’t he?” she bumped your shoulder playfully. All you did was roll your eyes. Which, actually, said everything she needed to know. He did, didn’t he? You always had a soft spot for musicians, dated a few. But comparing them to Tom now… it felt like a joke. There was something about this guy that made you want to know more about him. You wanted to see him play and sing again. You wanted- do a lot of things. But you had to get that out of your head. Let the night speak for itself, see where it leads you. If it would be his bedroom… that would be fine. Just fine. 
You knew you were crazy for thinking all of this, but a girl can dream, right? 
You looked across the room and were glad to see that there were only a few people left. Harry had already started packing everything up that would most likely not be sold that night. You watched the three of them make some small chat with the people walking by, but all your real focus was on Tom and his deep stare right at you. It made your heart beat faster. With his arms across his chest, the muscles seemed even more prominent. 
He was suddenly pulled back into the conversation, and it was as if he changed into a different person. All bubbly, none of that- what even was it that he looked at you? You decided to not think about it too much. One does not do well when dwelling about anything. 
Finally, the last person bought their shirt, and they were done. Hoping it didn’t make you look too desperate, you didn’t waste a second to walk over to them. Harrison and Tom were helping Harry pack up the rest of the things that were left on the table. 
“Hey,” you said awkwardly. Tom almost dropped the stack of shirts he was holding. Again, the attention fell to his arms. You had to force yourself to look up at his face, which didn’t help much either, but it made it easier to think thoughts that would not mean a one-way ticket to Hell. 
“Hi! I’m so glad you stayed,” he said after putting those shirts in the box. “I thought we could go grab something to eat. I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.” He spoke really fast, just showing how excited he was to talk to you again. To be honest, you weren’t necessarily hungry, but going out to eat with Tom didn’t sound too bad. 
“Don’t you have to pack up?” You pointed back to the stage that still counted all of their equipment. 
“No, we’re playing here tomorrow, again,” Harrison explained. 
“Oh, cool.” Was all you said. It was cool, you just didn’t know how to say anything without sounding dumb. 
“Well, shall we? There’s a diner on the way to my flat. It has the best burgers.” Tom exclaimed. You ignored the little mention of his apartment and focused on the burgers. He wasn’t suggesting for you to come over to his place. It was just a fact… right? 
“Lead the way,” you told him, but before you left, you turned to the other two members of Winter Solstice. “It was nice meeting you guys.” Everyone waved, and so on, and you were off to eat. 
It was almost midnight by the time you got there, but the diner Tom had mentioned did advertise as a 24/7. And it held up. When you walked in, you were practically hit in the face with the delicious smell of pie. You sat down in a booth next to the large window and very soon after a waitress walked up. 
“What can I get ya?” she asked, flipping her little notebook open.  
“I’ll have a cheeseburger and fries, thanks,” Tom asked. Then it was your turn. 
“Just large fries for me, thank you.” The waitress wrote it all down, then continued to ask if you wanted anything to drink. 
“Ooh, do you have milkshakes?” The woman smiled and nodded. “So a chocolate milkshake then.” You ordered. 
“Make it two,” Tom added. Then the waitress went off, Tom leaned on the table toward you, with his hands in front of him. “So, just fries, huh?”
“I’m not super hungry, and I wasn’t going to steal your fries,” you explained, making Tom laugh and shake his head. 
“You’re interesting, you know that?” 
“I like to think so, yeah,” you answered straightforwardly. It was a pity you had not gotten your drinks yet, or you would have taken a very nonchalant sip. You leaned your chin on your hand, just like you did at the bar before the show. Except for this time, there was a smile hiking up the corners of your mouth. Tom mirrored your position. 
“So how did you guys come up with the name?” you had been wondering that ever since you saw that banner hanging on the stage. It was always interesting to find out the thinking process like. 
“You gotta ask Harry, he came up with it one day, and we just went along. He’s the more artistic one of the bunch.” Of course he is. Well, that didn’t answer anything then. But another question popped up in your mind.
“Are you guys related?” 
Tom smiled at that question. “Yeah, Harry is my younger brother. Harrison has been my best mate ever since I can remember. We’ve always been close and messing around. Then one day we decided to grab some old instruments from the attic and- sorry, I’m probably boring you, aren’t I?” He took off his cap again and ruffled his hair. You thought he would put it back on, but he left it on the table. There was pretty good lighting at Suki’s, but the colourful spotlights were no match to the bright LEDs of the diner. 
“I don’t see how you thought that was boring,” you assured him. You truly enjoyed his little story, talking about his friend and brother. You had doubted the choice of going out to eat so late at night with a stranger, but now the reason was apparent. He didn’t want to be strangers-he wanted to get to know you. And you wanted to get to know him.
The waitress came back with two large milkshakes, topped with whipped cream and syrup. She said that the food would be ready in a few more minutes and left you to continue your conversation. You nudged Tom on to go on where he stopped previously. 
 “So yeah,” he cleared his throat, “we played and thought, hey that doesn’t sound shit, and we practised for a few months and decided some time ago, why not try and play.”
“Was this your first gig?” you asked in disbelief. He shook his head, though. 
“We’ve performed a few times, but this was the first one that felt… real, you know. Maybe it was just me, but I felt this great connection with the crowd, and it felt great.” You nodded along with every word, without realising that you had been getting lost in his eyes. He had been looking into yours as he spoke about that connection, and it made you feel that maybe, just maybe, he meant you specifically. 
“y/n?” He eventually asked, waking you up. You almost spilt your milkshake from the abrupt movement you made as you tried to sit up.
“What? Sorry.” You held the glass until it didn’t shake. 
“I asked if you enjoyed it? The show?” 
“Didn’t you ask that already?” Stupid way to answer! “But yeah, I loved it. You were really great- I mean, all of you.” but especially you, you wanted to add on, but that felt like going too far. As you were trying to come up with a normal-sounding answer there, Tom sipped from his milkshake. Something in his eyes told you that he could tell what you wanted to say, and that thought scared you a little bit. All you wanted to do was to give this hot guy a good impression of yourself, was that really that hard? 
But he didn’t say anything about it. Just continued the conversation as you hoped he would.
“Well, I’m glad. Honestly, you had scared me a bit back then, when you left,” he admitted. And there were the heart palpitations again, beating faster and faster. You grabbed the cold milkshake because you could feel yourself getting hotter. 
“How so?” you choked out. 
“Just because I could tell you weren’t exactly looking forward to the show, and then I saw you leave and didn’t come back. I thought you didn’t like us.” Us. He said “us”. Then we did it feel like he just wanted to say “me”? 
“I wanted to check up on my friend, and then I realised that it was much colder in the back, so I stayed there.” you explained again, “But why be worried about me, there were plenty of other people enjoying themselves.” 
He was about to answer when the waitress walked up with two large plates. She put them on the table with a smile, which you noticed was more directed towards Tom than you. He responded with a tight smile himself, but only shortly, turning back to you quickly to respond to your question. 
“No one there was as cute as you.” 
“What?” This time you made sure not to make any sudden movements to save your food and drink on the table. Did he really say that? But he didn’t clarify himself, he just smirked, enjoying your flushed expression a little too much. He put a fry in his mouth and still ate it with that smug smirk. You just went and ate some of your own fries, avoiding eye contact with him. You just needed a second to sort your thoughts. 
That second lasted a little longer, but at least you had the food to use as an excuse to avoid “awkward silence”. 
“So do you play any instruments?” he asked. You looked up to see that he had almost finished his burger. When you saw the dish being brought up, you thanked yourself and any god watching out there that you didn’t choose to order one. It was absolutely massive, meaning you would make a complete mess out of yourself—a sight for no one to see but your tv screen on a lonely night. 
“Uh, I can play a few notes on the piano but all very beginner's level.” You dipped a fry in your milkshake. 
“Like what?” He seemed genuinely interested. 
“Uhm.. the Flintstones theme song, for one. There was more, but I haven’t played in ages, so I doubt I remember anything.” 
“Flintstones, huh, nice.” He took the last bite of his burger. Knowing how weird it is to look at someone when they’re eating, you looked out the window for a second. It was dark outside, and the rain had come back, letting all the street lights reflect in the asphalt. 
You both finished the remains of your fries and milkshakes while making some more small talk. You got up simultaneously from the booth. Was it over now? You hoped not. You didn’t want to say goodbye. 
You grabbed your things while Tom paid for the food. Then you realised he had left his cap on the table so grabbed it too. But your hands were already full, so you decided to just put it on. Backwards, just like he had been wearing it through the evening.
“It looks good on you,” he commented when you met at the door. 
“Thanks,” there was the heat up your cheeks again. “And thank you for everything else, I had a really great night.” you were about to take the hat off to give it back, but he stopped you.
“It doesn’t have to end here, darling.”
To be continued...
> Thank you for reading!! I hope you enjoyed
> please leave a comment or ask with your thoughts. i love reading them and let me know if you want to be tagged in part 2! 
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spunky-89 · 3 years
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When it Rains it Pours
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A/N: I’m back again, who knows for how long, but what matters is that I made a thing and I get to share it with you all. 
WARNING I made a self fulfilling fic during a dark time so it might be triggering to those with depression and I do talk very briefly about self harm....so yeah
WC: 3k
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Life was wearing you down. It felt like everything was going wrong. You were failing two classes, your car was totaled, your mom was sick, you weren’t sleeping, your parents were arguing all the time now, and that was just scratching the surface of your problems. Not to mention the fact that your mental health was plummeting. The only good thing you felt you had left was your boyfriend, Stiles. He was always so supportive and he was there whenever you needed him. But soon enough, you knew you would lose him too.
It was late in the evening, lacrosse practice had just ended and you were waiting by Stiles’ jeep. It was cold and dark and you were beyond tired. But as soon as you heard him approach you slapped your fake smile on and pretended everything was fine. And apparently, you were a good actress cause he never noticed. He went on and on about practice and coach and the latest supernatural crisis. It actually made you calmer, hearing him ramble. Somethings never change and you were glad for that. Like your tradition of always stopping to grab a bite to eat after Friday practices. You desperately wanted to go, but you weren’t sure how long you could hold this facade of being okay. So with a heavy heart, you asked him to just drop you at home, making the excuse your mom needed something from you. Like the wonderful boyfriend he was, he offered to help and you could just order in. But you declined, promising to call him first thing in the morning. As you opened your front door you could hear your parents arguing again, but you kept your smile up and turned to wave at Stiles. As soon as the door was closed you let out a deep breath, dropping the fake smile and trudging to your room. You threw your bag on your desk chair and headed straight for your bed. You just laid there thinking as you tried to muffle the sounds of your parents arguing with a pillow over your head. You woke up hours later, somewhere around 2 a.m., and realized you fell asleep in your clothes. You quickly changed into something comfier, climbing right back into bed. You decided to start working on your upcoming english essay, but you struggled to come up with any words. Or better yet, you had the ideas in your head, the problem was getting those thoughts on paper. You barely realized you’d been up all night, the only reason you did was you noticed the sunlight beginning to filter into your room. You sighed and put your books and laptop away and tried to grab a few hours more sleep. You didn’t really succeed, falling asleep around 8 and waking back up at 9:30. You sent a quick message to Stiles to let him know you were staying home to study and to call if anything life-threatening was occurring. He asked if you wanted company but you denied. Not thinking you’d be able to put on a fake smile today. So you went to the kitchen to grab some food before you locked yourself in your room, determined not to do anything but study and do homework. You got so absorbed in your work you didn’t notice your phone blowing up with texts and calls. You didn’t notice that lunch came and went without you eating anything. You didn’t notice your severe dehydration, nor your hunger. You were numb to everything. So much so you ended up falling asleep at your desk to the sounds of your parents’ screaming match.
You kept this pattern up for about 3 weeks. You slapped on your fake smile at school and pretended you were fine. If someone asked you just said you were anxious about school and grades. Everyone bought it. 
With each day you were becoming more tired and drained. A part of you told you to tell someone, to get help, but the other, louder, part said no. So you kept it all in. It was starting to show. Your grades were slipping more, you were gaunt (luckily makeup kept anyone from seeing that), and you only wore baggy clothes to hide the obvious weight loss from not eating. It almost hurt that no one noticed your terrible state, but you didn’t blame them. How could they if you acted like everything was fine? What they did notice, was you pulling away from the pack. You didn’t show up to pack meetings, and the ones you did come to you never stayed for chit-chat. And worst of all, you hadn’t been alone with Stiles in weeks. You knew he would figure you out, he always could. But you didn’t want him to. He was already dealing with enough, he didn’t need to be worrying about you too. The pack would try and corner you at school but you learned to be slippery, learned to evade the wolves, other supernatural creatures, and the humans. 
You could tell you were hurting Stiles, and that killed you, but you thought maybe distance would be good. He could focus on other things and not have to deal with you. Yes, you decided, he was better without you. They all were. So you made a plan. You would break up with Stiles by saying you didn’t like him anymore and you were sick of the pack. That way it was kind of breaking up with everyone. Then you would have your mom pull you out of school and you could take online classes instead, limiting your chance of seeing the pack.
It was a Wednesday, after school. It was pouring outside but you knew Coach would still make the team practice. This was your opportunity. You sat in your car in the driveway of your home and called Stiles. You prayed he wouldn’t answer, as that would make things harder. When you heard his voicemail pick up, you took a deep shaky breath.
“Hey Stiles, um look, I know it’s kinda shitty to do this over the phone but uh, I don’t think we should be together anymore. I just don’t feel the same way I did, and I know it was wrong of me to drag this out and make it worse by distancing myself first, but I thought it would help lessen the pain. I’m sorry, I wish you the best.” As soon as you hung up your sobs were echoing through the car, meshing well with the sounds of the downpour. You didn’t do what you’d wanted, which was to sound like you were just uninterested and over the pack. Instead, your voice was shaky from holding back tears. You hoped Stiles wouldn’t notice and it would be enough to cut ties with the whole pack.
It took you about half an hour before you were able to get out of your car and start to head inside. By the time you got to the door, you were soaked. Your hands shook as you tried to get the key into the lock, but between the anxiety and the freezing rain, you had no luck. Then you heard the familiar rumble of Roscoe and you tried twice as hard to open the door, but you couldn’t so you just cursed as tears started to mix with the rain, hindering your vision. You could hear his feet slapping against the pavement as he ran to you. You tried to take a deep breath and focus but it was impossible. 
He shouted your name but you ignored him, almost cheering when you got the door unlocked. You tried to enter and close the door before he got to it but you weren’t quite fast enough. As you were rushing to slam the door he put his hand out and shoved against it, keeping you from closing the door. 
“Stop fighting me and just talk to me!” He exclaimed.
“Just go away!”
“No, I’m not leaving until you tell me what the hell is going on,” he grunted as he shoved hard and managed to slide in before you managed to push back. 
He grabbed your arm to try and turn you to face him but you chose to walk past him out the door, just trying to get away from him, knowing you would just take back everything you said, just to feel his arms around you one last time.
“Where are you-” He started to call after you but ended up giving chase instead. 
So you started to run. You didn’t know where you were running, you just knew you couldn’t stop. Unfortunately, with the torrential downpour, you were having a hard time seeing and ended up tripping over a pothole and falling to the ground. Your body ached and your skin stung at the contact with the street, but you ignored it and tried to push on. Unfortunately, your fall gave Stiles enough time to catch up to you. He grabbed your arms and helped you up, never once letting go of you. 
“Let me go Stiles.”
“No. Not until you explain yourself.” He shouted over the rain.
“Just go home!” You cried out.
He just shook his head and stared at you, standing in the middle of the street, the rain still pouring.
“Why? Why follow me? Why bother?” You asked finally, having to shout to be heard over the rain.
“Because I will follow you anywhere! Even into the middle of the street during a massive storm.” He called back.
“Why?”
“Because I love you!” He yelled, his voice letting out hints of frustration. 
It was your turn to just stare at him, tears mixing with the rain as it flowed down your cheeks. You still felt numb, felt like none of this made sense, that he should be happy to be rid of a burden like yourself. You lost all sense of self and felt your legs give out from underneath you, though you were lucky enough to not hit the ground again as Stiles was there to catch you and swiftly lift you into his arms. 
Slowly he walked the two of you back to your house, but you barely noticed, too stuck in your head. You didn’t even notice how hard you were clinging to him. He carried you into your room and sat down on the end of your bed and just held you as you cried. You occasionally babbled something like an apology, but he would just shush you and continue to rock you gently. 
When the tears slowed slightly and you were able to make complete sentences, you decided to just come clean about everything and if he left you, you would understand.
“Listen Stiles, I-”
“Nope, stop right there. Before we talk about this, we need to get into some warm, dry clothes before one of us ends up sick.” He said with finality. As he said it you finally realized some of the numbness you felt was because you were cold and wet. You nodded as you went to fetch some dry towels and clothes for both you and Stiles. You had stolen enough of his clothes and he had left so much that half his wardrobe seemed to be at your house. The two of you dried off and changed in silence. You were shaking the whole time and once you had finished toweling off your hair, you suddenly were terrified to face him. So you kept your back to him and fiddled with the towel in your hands. The tears had stopped, but when you thought about the boy standing behind you, they started to well up again.
You felt his arms slip around you and take the towel gently from your hands, putting it on the dresser before he tightened his arms around you and just held you. When he laid a kiss on the side of your head the tears started to flow once more. When the first sob bubbled out, he turned you around and just stroked the back of your head in a soothing manner. 
“Why are you still here?” you managed to ask between sobs. He sighed and led you back towards your bed, pulling back the covers and slipping under them before opening his arms and inviting you in. You climbed into his arms like so many times before, but what used to feel like heaven only made your heart clench in fear, terrified you were going to lose the one good thing you had left in your life. 
“So what’s going on with you, what happened?” He asked gently, laying on his back as you curled into his side. 
“Does it matter?” you spoke quietly.
“It does to me.” He said grabbing your one hand and holding it tightly before laying a kiss on it. 
You sigh as you try desperately to find words that describe the awful feelings you were feeling. He waited patiently, playing with your fingers absentmindedly. 
“I guess I-I just give up. I feel so numb now because like I’ve given all I can and it’s never enough, so why bother trying right?” You spoke slowly. You felt him go rigid as he turned your hand over to look at your wrists then pulled you to sit up and took your face in his hands, his eyes darting around your face. 
“Please tell me that doesn’t mean what I think it does.” He spoke with fear in his voice.
“What do you…” you trailed off as you cocked your head a little bit, trying desperately to decipher his question/statement. 
“Please tell me you haven’t been- been hurting yourself.” He all but begged, his voice breaking as he did. 
Oh. Your brain paused for a moment, registering the look on his face as he watched every twitch on yours. The real fear and worry you saw on his face stopped you, you knew he cared but you didn’t think that it was enough to cause this reaction to his query.
You shook your head in response, still at a loss for words.
“Promise me you aren’t lying. Please, just be straight with me.” 
“I’m not lying,” You recoiled at his seeming distrust of your answer, pretty much saying he didn’t believe you. His hands dropped from your face as you tried to move away. But a hand pulling you back kept you from going too far.
“Hey, hey, hey, please don’t do this. I’m just trying to be sure because if you are then I-I-I don’t know what I’d do but I’m just worried and you’ve shut me out for weeks and now this- I just want to know what’s wrong so I can try to fix it.”
“You can’t fix it, Stiles, I’m broken and in pieces, I am not your jeep that you can just duct tape back together.” You spoke, a harshness peaking out, covering all the other emotions. You heard him sigh as he tried to get you to look at him but you refused. 
“Of course I know that. But I’m not going to just sit here and let you- let you suffer and deteriorate. I can’t do that.” He said. 
“Why? Why not? Why won’t you just let me rot away in my room, huh? Why don’t you just leave? Be thankful to be free of me.” You all but yelled.
“Why? Are you serious?” He said softly, “Do you really think that low of yourself that you forgot all that we’ve been through together, the moments we had, the love we shared.” His voice felt like knives as he added, “Or at least the love I thought we shared.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Your heart breaking at the implications of his statement. You had gotten off the bed at this point and had backed towards the corner of your room, holding your arms tight across your stomach as you tried to curl in on yourself. They were right, the voices in your head were right. All you did was end up hurting him, now he hates you. Well, it’s not like you’re surprised, you weren’t worthy of his love, but hate, maybe you deserved that.
He groaned as he ran his hands down his face in frustration. 
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” 
“No, stop doing that! Stop trying to hold onto me! Let me go, I’m not worth this.” You said aggravatedly, tears once again pouring from your eyes. This was it you thought, this was the end. You wanted to sigh of relief but you were too devastated to do so.
“Who decided that huh? Who decided you weren’t worthy? Cause to me I’m the one not worthy of you.” He said and you scoffed and rolled your eyes. “I’m serious, you’re smart, you’re beautiful, you’re kind and selfless, and so many other wonderful things. And I’m just a spazzy kid who brings nothing but trouble. Who has almost gotten you killed multiple times.”
You just shook your head feverishly as he advanced towards you. You tried to shrink back but you could only go so far and when he reached you he took your face in his hands and he kissed you. He kissed you like it was the last time he’d ever do so. And of course, you melted into it. He was the love of your life and nothing compared to the love you felt in that moment. His hands moved to wrap tightly around you, holding you impossibly closer. 
“Don’t push me away, let me help you.” He murmured against your lips. Your eyes stayed closed as you rested your forehead against his.
“I don’t know how,” you almost whimpered,
“We’ll figure this out, together.” He promised. You just nodded and let him hold you. And at that moment, you had hope again. 
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Text
~ And All That For a Lighter ~
Pairing: Damiano David x Naomi (fictional character)
Word count: 3035
Warnings: none
Summary: Naomi meets Damiano in a café for the first time.
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Naomi entered the café all soaked, her cheeks red from running and her hair messy and wet from the rain. It was pouring outside which was the thing she despised the most. Surprisingly tho she felt good. Fresh. She loved walking around Rome in the morning and for the first time in her life she admired this rainy weather. Little drops of water flowed over her cheek. Her life was a big mess and you could say she needed something new.
When a month ago she found her boyfriend cheating with her best friend she felt like her whole life collapsed. That’s when she decided to change something. Start a new life. She started admiring things she’s never liked before, she started dressing differently, she became more confident in her own body. She even started working out which was the most unexpected thing since physical education was her least favorite subject in high school.
Naomi always thought love was the most essential part of everyone’s life, but a sight of Alessandro having fun in their bed with Sofia made her hate love more than anything. She decided to move on and live life completely and only for herself.
- Buongiorno Joey - she said reaching the bartender standing behind the counter.
- Buongiorno piccola, what can I get for you?
- One espresso please, and one brownie - the bartender nodded and started preparing her order.
She decided to sit down since she would probably spend a lot of time working on her laptop and enjoying this rainy morning. The inside of café was warm and welcoming, comfortable couches, puffy pillows and a lot of plants. She visited this café every day for the past two weeks and she found herself enjoying this place maybe even more than her new flat.
Naomi went to sit in the corner on a cozy red couch. She took off her soaked jacket and pulled out her laptop with a couple of notebooks. She was a student of economy and since she had to find herself some more things to do she decided to actually try harder to have a better degree at her college. She wasn’t so fond of the direction she chose but she knew it’s gonna bring her a prosperous life. In fact her favorite thing in the world was art. She started painting when she was 8 years old. Since then she really enjoyed staying all day alone in her room painting everything she could, from beautiful portraits to mesmerizing landscapes. She had a huge talent but she was too afraid to chase her dreams.
When she met Alessandro he quickly bashed her ideas of becoming a professional painter, saying that it’s not something she will build her life on and that she will be only wasting her time. She was mad at him for a couple of days but then she quit her painting dream and chose economy for her main subject.
- Ecco a te, one coffee and one brownie - said Joey bringing her order to the table and putting it right in front of her.
- Grazie mille - Naomi answered and smiled to him.
She took a sip of coffee and smiled. It was delicious. That was another reason why she kept coming back here every day. They made the best coffee she’s ever drunk.
Two hours passed and Naomi was still working on her assignment she was supposed to give in till next Monday. It was about lunch time so she decided she will pack her things in an hour and she will go find a place to eat something. She took the last sip of the coffee and finished her first task when someone pulled her out of her little trans.
- Ah shit! I’m all wet! - she heard someone saying and moment later she saw a guy reaching the bartender.
He was tall and had slightly longer, dark brown hair. She could only see his profile but only that was enough for her to admit that he was really handsome. He was wearing black trousers, black Dr. Martens, white tank top and an oversized black jacket. He looked good and Naomi couldn’t take her eyes off of him.
- Damiano! It’s so good to see you man! - Joey said and shook hands with the new guy.
Damiano. The name really suit him. Naomi didn’t take her eyes off him even once.
- Ciao, ciao, Joey! - his voice was attractive as well. Raspy and deep but really calm.
Naomi didn’t know what was happening. Usually she didn’t pay attention to any guys after Alessandro but he was different. He looked edgy and bold but he seemed nice too. She was staring at him. And not in a polite way. She was literally eyeing him from up and down and she didn’t even realize.
- Give me an espresso man, I’m so tired, I just woke up. Yesterday we had so much fun. Victoria came up with this new idea of the song and we all stayed up late till 4 am trying to figure out how to pull it up together. - Damiano said.
So he’s into music. Nice. Naomi was still staring at him so rudely but she didn’t care at this point. Music is also art - she thought and smiled slightly not letting go of his person.
- Typical you, Dam, you’ve never slept a full night, did you? - Joey said and they both laughed.
- Do you have a lighter maybe? I forgot mine. - Damiano said and started searching his pockets.
- I don’t man, sorry. Let me make your order. Anything else for you?
- No, no that’s all. I’m gonna go search for a lighter and I’ll be back.
He turned around searching for people but at this time the café was empty. Only Naomi sitting in the corner. He started walking towards her. Oh shit, he’s coming here, stop staring, stop staring, stop staring - Naomi thought and looked at her laptop trying to pretend that’s she didn’t just checked him out for 10 minutes straight.
- Scusi, I’m.. - he reached her table and started speaking but stopped when she looked at him. - I’m sorry to interrupt but do you have a lighter maybe? - he said after a second.
- No, I’m sorry. I don’t smoke. - Naomi blushed and smiled lightly.
- Okey, grazie. - he smiled and started walking away.
- But there’s a store at the corner, I think they might have some. - Naomi said
- Grazie, grazie. - he laughed slightly and waved at her.
Naomi went back to her tasks still blushing not knowing why. 15 minutes passed and Damiano entered the café again carrying two bags. He came up to Naomi smiling.
- I uh.. Sorry to interrupt again but.. Do you want to maybe eat lunch with me? I just thought that it’s lunch time and you’re sitting here alone and since you helped me with the lighter.. - he couldn’t stop speaking and Naomi blushed again laughing. He looked a bit nervous.
- Of course, I would love to eat lunch with you. - she said interrupting him.
- I’m Damiano - he said pulling out his hand.
- Naomi - she said and grabbed his hand to shake it but he turned it and kissed the top of her palm.
She felt something weird in her stomach, like butterflies but she pushed them aside and only smiled to him. Damiano sat on the couch opposite Naomi and put two bags on the table.
- I didn’t know what you like, obviously because I don’t know you, yeah very clever Dam, whatever.. - he started speaking and Naomi couldn’t stop but laugh at him loudly
- Don’t worry, I’m not a peaky eater - she said sending him a reassuring smile.
- Alright, well, I ordered pasta with shrimps and some pesto and cherry tomatoes. - he said taking out the box with food from the bag. - I also got you a cherry smoothie but we can switch if you’d like.
- Wow, and that all for a lighter? You really didn’t have to. But thank you so much, I was about to go for lunch anyways. - she said grabbing the box that he handed her.
- Yes well, you’re really beautiful.. I mean, no.. I mean you are beautiful but I just wanted to say that you’re really nice and yeah I don’t know I just thought you might like to eat something.. Not that you look like you’re starving but yeah..
- Heyyy, thank you, really, that’s so nice of you. - she said smiling widely.
Naomi took the first bite of her pasta and it was delicious. She remembered her grandmother cooking shrimps every Saturday and all her family gathering together for a family dinner in the garden. It tasted just the same.
They ate everything and after two hours of talking and laughing and getting to know each other it was time for Joey to close the café. Naomi stood up and packed her things, said goodbye to Joey and together with Damiano they stepped out of the café. It stopped raining and instead there was a full sun and a fresh breeze.
- So what are you gonna do now? - he asked standing in front of her.
- Umm.. I think I’m just gonna go back to my flat, make myself some snacks and watch Netflix till I fall asleep - Naomi laughed.
- Alright well, do you mind if I walk you home? - Damiano asked steeping a bit closer to her.
- Sure, why not, we can take a walk.
That day Damiano walked Naomi to her house and they exchanged numbers, planning to meet again. He kissed her cheek for goodbye and squeezed her hand and Naomi has never felt like that in a long time. She was happy and Damiano, even tho she met him today, made her feel really good. Naomi couldn’t sleep that night still thinking of him and wondering why she felt so different around him.
*3 months later*
- What do you mean you don’t like Star Wars! - Damiano shouted to Naomi while they both walked towards the beach where they were supposed to watch sunset and have a little picnic.
Since the day they met they spent almost every day together. Damiano surprised her with multiple occasions to go out together, either for lunch or dinner or even breakfast when he woke up earlier than usual. He found himself falling for her. In fact he realized he fell for her the day he first laid his eyes on her. He found her funny, spontaneous and really kind and caring. When she told him about her painting dream he was so shocked she gave up, that he argued with her till he convinced her to chase the dream even if she thought it was too late. Naomi really enjoyed his company, he made her feel really happy and safe and most importantly - loved. She knew she developed some feelings and she didn’t want to admit it but at the back of her head she knew she fell in love. He made her laugh and supported her when she was having bad moments. He became her best friend at some point. Both of them were taking things a bit slower tho, they were both afraid, broken-hearted after rough ended relationships.
- I just don’t, I don’t understand how they made so many movies out of such a lame plot. - she said defending herself.
- How can you even say that! The plot is amazing! The space action scenes, come on! - he said offended but smiling.
- Yeah I just don’t see the point of filming it, that’s all.
- I don’t know how Victoria can still be friends with you, we’re both huge fans of Star Wars! You’re lucky I like you - Damiano started laughing and put his arm around Naomi’s shoulders.
She got to meet Victoria, Ethan and Thomas. Bassist, drummer and guitarist of their band Måneskin. Naomi wasn’t really into music so she didn’t really know them and didn’t know they’re pretty known here in Italy. Victoria was the kindest person Naomi could ever see. When her and Damiano stepped into the studio where they were recording, Vic was the first to reach out to her. She hugged her tightly and was clearly really happy to meet her. She then introduced Thomas and Ethan to her. Thomas started joking around that Damiano finally found himself a girlfriend and Ethan was really polite, he kissed Naomi’s hand and hugged her too, smiling really kindly. They were all so nice. They started inviting her over for dinners or just to hang out by the pool. She also listened to them playing and recording their new songs. Damiano told them that she wanted to be a painter and they all started reassuring her even more, that chasing her dream is the best thing for her and that she should never give up. Naomi really felt like she finally found her place.
Naomi and Damiano reached the beach, they put the blanket on the sand, put out all the food from the basket and they sat opposite each other. They were both smiling widely and chatting about everything. They drank some wine, ate some pasta and then they sat next to each other admiring the sunset.
- I really like you, you know? - Damiano said glancing at Naomi. - And I mean, I like you a lot. You’re really an amazing person with so much talent and you’re just so caring and loving. You really make me happy. - he said not taking his eyes off of her.
- Dami.. - Naomi started but she was interrupted.
- What I want to say is.. - he took her hands - I fell in love with you Naomi. I fell for you hard and I’m pretty sure since the day I saw you at that café. I care about you so much and any time with you is my favorite time in the world. So if you want to.. We could try, you know.. Being together, like, in a relationship. - he said in one breathe.
Naomi was speechless, her stomach was squeezing and she felt her cheeks turning red. She never would have though that someone will make her feel like this again. She knew that he cares for her but she didn’t know that he would feel the same way she felt about him.
- Dami.. Of course I do want to try, you make me the happiest, and honestly I didn’t know you feel the same way, that’s why I didn’t say anything. And also because.. - Naomi wanted to tell him about Alessandro but she was scared that Damiano will back off, saying that he will give her time.
- What’s wrong, bella? - he said gently squeezing her hand.
- I was in a relationship before. His name was Alessandro and we met before I started college. We were together for 3 years and everything was going just fine. But then.. One day when I came back home earlier than usual I found him cheating with my best friend, Sofia. Since then I just decided to not get into any relationship and live only for myself because I was too afraid to get hurt again - Naomi said looking down at their intertwined hands.
- Oh bella.. - Damiano pulled her into a tight hug.
He stroked her back and her hair and he was whispering to her ear. A single tear fell down her cheek but not because she was hurt but because of how gentle and caring Damiano was. He hugged her and made her feel better and she couldn’t find herself with anyone else right now than with him. He pulled away, looked into her eyes and smiled slightly.
- I was in a relationship too a while ago. It turned out we didn’t match and our life goals and perspectives were so different that we decided to end things. Maybe it wasn’t as harsh as your breakup but I felt awful for at least a month. I didn’t go out of my room and I lost all will to write music. Victoria brought me food every day but I just didn’t want to eat. But it all passed.. Listen, if you need more time it’s all good, I’ll give you space and I’ll wait till you’re ready.
Naomi was silent for a couple of seconds. In her head there was a battle. She wanted to let go of bad memories and trust Damiano completely, start a relationship with him, but on the other hand she was scared to get hurt again.
- No Dami. I don’t need time, I know what I want and I know how you make me feel and that’s why I want to try. - Naomi said hugging him tightly.
She knew she just overcame her fear and she felt free. Like a huge stone fell off of her heart. She felt amazing and she wanted to live this moment as long as she could. Damiano pulled away and cupped her cheek with his hand. He pulled her closer and she could feel his breath on her face. Slowly, but slightly Damiano leaned in and brushed his lips against hers. Naomi touched his cheek and pulled him even closer. And then they both intertwined their lips in a gentle, yet passionate kiss.
Naomi felt her stomach squeezing when Damiano put his hand on her back. It was their first kiss and the sunset was almost turning into the night. They pulled away after seconds and smiled widely at each other.
- I promise, I’ll always take care of you. - Damiano said leaning his forehead against hers.
- Always. - Naomi said grabbing his hand and intertwining their fingers together.
That’s when they both knew that they found soulmates in each other.
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moonbeamsung · 4 years
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I Love You, Rain or Shine
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No matter the weather, I hope you’ll be mine...
member: jisung
au: best friend!jisung x gn!reader
word count: 7.9k
genre: fluff, a tiny bit of angst
warnings: kissing, mentions of insecurities
author’s note: My first Jisung story! In this one, there are multiple flashbacks, and I’ve indicated which parts they are by the extended italicized sections. When I started editing this, it was just under 6k words and now it’s almost 8k...oops :) Let’s just hope it posts correctly now because I just gave myself a heart attack thinking I lost it all. I hope you enjoy the fic!
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The smell of fresh linen sheets and the feeling of warm sunlight pouring through the sheer white curtains greets your senses as you awaken, tucked tightly beneath the blankets of your hotel bed.
The queen-sized mattress had looked absolutely heavenly last night, and you were looking forward to having it all to yourself, but once you settled under the soft covers it felt empty. As you laid awake, eyes staring up at the ceiling in the darkness, you found yourself longing for someone to share it with.
More specifically, your best friend Jisung, who was also in a queen-sized bed of his own just across the room. His even, steady breaths echoed in the silence, soon lulling you to sleep.
The next morning your eyes land on his slender figure, facing away from you as his chest rises and falls in a natural rhythm. As you watch him with heavy eyelids, he stirs and turns to lie on his back, granting you a view of his profile. The light shines brightly on his features and illuminates his smooth skin, casting a shadow on one side of his face and creating a stunning silhouette.
The curves of his straight nose, barely parted full lips, gentle cheekbones, and sharp jawline captivate you and receive every ounce of your attention. You want nothing more than to run your fingers through his dark bangs, pushing them back from his forehead as you gaze at every perfect imperfection.
Oh, how you envied the sunbeams that could caress every inch of his handsome face with such grace and elegance. The lighting makes him appear so delicate, so vulnerable, like he would shatter into thousands of pieces at even the tenderest of touches.
The sound of footsteps on the other side of your door is just loud enough to wake the sleeping boy. You continue to gaze at him as he sighs deeply, his long eyelashes fluttering open. A quiet groan escapes his lips as he stretches his limbs, legs visibly extending under the covers and arms reaching out above his head.
Those footsteps are then followed by the muffled voices of your and his younger siblings, and even a few rooms away you can still tell that they’re speaking at a volume far too high for 8:30 in the morning.
You suppose it’s why you’ve become so close with each other. You both grew up as the oldest child, expected to be a mature role model for your little brothers and sisters to follow. By no means were your parents unreasonably harsh or strict about this, but that responsibility of yours went out the window and was long forgotten during the time you spent with him.
You both could act as crazy as you wanted, laugh at the dumbest jokes and forget about setting an example and just be your authentic, real selves around each other. While your similar family situations brought the two of you together, it also led to all of your siblings and your parents getting to know each other, too.
Jisung shifts once again, now lying on his other side and facing you. “Good morning,” he tells you with a raspy voice and a sleepy grin. You return his words with a small smile of your own, eyes still drowsily fixed on his form across from you. Who knew bed hair could look so attractive?
He’s just about to sit upright when four hyper children burst through the doorway, one pair of them jumping up onto his bed and the other making their way over to yours. It was at moments like these when you thought about just how much you had in common with him. Each of you had a younger brother and sister, one slightly older than the other by a year or two. In your case it was your brother that was older, in his case, his sister.
His siblings all but throw themselves at him, landing on his chest and giggling when he whines, complaining about “personal space.” Yours, although still rambunctious, are more gentle with you and settle for the smaller impact of a hug before they both sit down on either side of you.
“Can we trade?”
You look over and chuckle quietly to yourself at the sight of his siblings pinning him down by sitting on his torso, still covered by the bedsheets.
Out of the corner of your eye you see him tap their shoulders, telling them that if they let him sit up he could reach the remote and turn the TV on for them to watch. They waste no time in scrambling off of their older brother, allowing him the freedom to move (and breathe) again. As he does so, the blanket falls from his shoulders all the way down to his waist, revealing his nightshirt-clad torso that you often found yourself clinging to so dearly in a snug embrace when it was just the two of you.
“Are those the pajamas I gave you?”
Two days before his 18th birthday. You were struggling as you always did to find just the right gift for him, but this year felt different. It really needed to be perfect.
You were about to give up and just ask him what he wanted because you were completely at a loss. As luck would have it, he showed up at your front door right as you were about to leave for his house.
Opening it, you stumbled back with surprise when you saw him standing there, arm extended towards the doorbell. A sheepish smile overtook his features as he apologized, hurrying forward to take you in his arms and make sure you didn’t fall, one hand gently gripping your wrist and the other supporting your shoulder. Recovering from the initial shock, your expression softened and you straightened, your gaze hesitantly drifting up to his eyes and then down to your sneakers.
“I was just about to come see you, y’know.” “Really?” he exclaimed, eyes becoming impossibly wider. You nodded. “What are the chances?” Even without looking at him, you could still picture the pure astonishment on his face as he said those words.
For the rest of the afternoon he would playfully bug you for answers about the present you got him this year.
“Pleeeeeease tell me? What is it what is it what is it what is—”
“Shhh,” you had held a finger to his lips, only temporarily silencing his endless inquiries. His gaze followed the action, the cross-eyed expression looking nothing short of endearing on him. “I don’t know,” had been your response, the blatant honesty of the statement going right over his head.
Several hours later, the grass in your backyard blew against your warm skin in the crisp February breeze. You were both lying on the ground, staring up into the vast heavens that happened to be full of twinkling celestial bodies that night.
“There’s Venus,” he had pointed out, “The closest one to the horizon.”
“You mean that one right there?”
“...No, that’s a plane. It’s moving.”
He turned his head to the side, studying you with an unamused expression before bursting into loud laughter at your apologetic pout.
When the moment had passed and it was quiet between you once again, as inconspicuously as possible, you repositioned one of your arms behind your head. You leaned slightly upwards, high enough to be able to see his dark brown eyes that had turned into inky pools under the dark sky. You noticed how they reflected the bright stars above so clearly, and in that moment something clicked.
“You see the moon? Tonight it looks like it’s in the waxing gibbous stage, which means we should see a full—what are you doing? Is there something on my face?”
With every second that you didn’t answer him, too busy using your best friend’s eyes to stargaze instead of a telescope, his face grew redder. He was sure his face was the color of Mars by the time you finally noticed you’d been staring.
“Huh? Oh! Sorry...” you trailed off, now feeling a bit flustered yourself.
A beat of silence. Then, you spoke up again.
“Wanna know something?” you had asked him, rolling onto your side and propping your head up with an elbow.
Curiosity permeated his entire demeanor in that moment. After meeting his eyes, you continued your thought, an unusual surge of bravery coursing through your veins.
“Your eyes look like they could be a galaxy of their very own.”
Your best friend was so adorably at a loss for words that it was all he could do not to burst into flames. He scrunched his nose up before his hands flew to his cheekbones, hiding the blush steadily coating them. He tried to roll away from you but your arms locked around his waist before he could get far, and you pulled yourself flush against his side.
Your pointer finger found his button nose, lightly tapping the lovable feature before your hand wound itself around his shoulders, finding a home behind his head, gently playing with the soft ebony strands of hair on the back of his neck.
He didn’t have the heart to continue his attempts at concealing his pounding heart and somersaulting stomach.
Forget the butterflies, there was a whole zoo in there.
And like that you both had stayed, tucked snugly beneath the blanket of the night sky. That is, until you were called inside for cookies. Not coincidentally, they were space-themed. One day he had brought over the set of cookie cutters right after he purchased them, and from then on you kept the metal molds in a special cupboard to use whenever he visited. He insisted they made them taste better, but you weren’t quite convinced.
Biting into a Saturn-shaped one, your epiphany from earlier had hit you all over again. Briefly making a note on your phone, you smiled to yourself, satisfied with your idea and wishing with all your might that Jisung would like it as much as you were hoping.
Needless to say, you got your answer days later in the form of the bone-crushing hug he had picked you up and spun you around in. With the pajama set still clutched tightly under his arm, one of the biggest smiles you’d seen from him in a long time lit up his face with joy.
Your question seems to stop time as these fond memories replay themselves in both of your brains. As if a movie projector just turned itself off, you’re brought back to reality when his hands lifts to thumb at the satin hem of the shirt, tracing the delicate stitching. The pajamas are a dark navy color, dotted with planets and stars, suns and moons, and from the moment you laid eyes on them you knew they would suit him well.
“Yeah… They’re really soft, by the way. Thank you again,” he rambles softly.
Leaning back against the headboard, he clicks the remote and the screen comes to life. Your siblings are oblivious to your previous conversation, too busy arguing about which cartoon to watch.
The bedroom door creaks open again, revealing your mother on the other side. “You two are adorable,” she coos, not missing a beat as she quickly extracts her phone from her pocket and snaps a picture. If she had shown you the photo you would have seen your own face looking directly back at the camera, but you might have missed where your best friend was looking: over at you, with his eyes smiling and an expression that was full of love.
Of course your mom notices this, and she wastes no time sending the photo to his for them to gush about their children who are “perfect for each other, they just don’t know it yet.”
You’d be lying if you said it hadn’t crossed your mind.
Some time passes as you stare at the TV, only half-invested in the show playing on the screen. You eventually look back over at your best friend and are met with the sight of his little brother snoring soundly against his chest. He catches your eye, sending you a sweet smile and your heart does a backflip.
You remember how your younger siblings had complained about the two of you having your own room last night. Your parents did their best to explain that it was only fair since you were the eldest and the most responsible kids, and since you did so much to look after and take care of them all the time, they thought you could use a break from being a babysitter.
As you were getting ready for bed you lovingly joked about their stubbornness together, but the lighthearted conversation between you turned deep as you thought about everything that made being the oldest child in the family so special. You were motivated to be someone for your sisters and brothers to look up to. You felt proud when they succeeded and never failed to comfort them when they didn’t. You could watch them grow up. They always returned the love you showed them in their own ways.
A few minutes turned into an hour, and soon it was past midnight. As you began to rise from your spot on the side of his bed, you felt his long and slender fingers grasp your wrist. Turning around, you tilted your head at him questioningly before he swiftly stood up and hugged you, putting his arms around your shoulders as you clasped your hands behind his waist. He’s tall enough to rest his chin on the top of your head. When he pulled back he had lifted a hand to your face and ran his thumb over your cheek, his other arm hanging rather awkwardly at his side.
“Good night,” he had said, the pitch of his voice a little higher than usual and you stuttered out the same words before crawling into bed. A minute or two passed in silence before you heard him speak up, his tone huskier now. “See you in the morning.” Again, you were nearly at a loss for words and so you settled for repeating what he just said back to him, hoping your heartbeat isn’t loud enough for him to hear.
You could tell that he had already fallen asleep soon after, thanks to the gentle sound of the air entering and leaving his lungs through his lips. As you were lying down you suddenly felt a tingling sensation on the skin of your face where his fingertips had held you. You brought your own hand up to your cheek, smiling to yourself at the not so distant memory.
It wasn’t long before you drifted off yourself, immersed in dreams you would never remember of the boy you called your best friend but who meant so much more to you than just those two simple words.
Which brings you back to now, the next morning, looking over at him as he brings a hand up to rest on his sibling’s shoulder, who squirms in his sleep, nuzzling his face into his older brother’s side. He casts his eyes down at the small boy, a look full of admiration and affection in his eyes. An image flashes briefly in your mind of him not with his little brother, but with another child. You blink rapidly, forcing the thought away as you inwardly reprimand your brain. Not the time.
The hotel suite is cozy. There are two master bedrooms for your parents, each with a king-sized bed of its own. Situated in between them is the smaller room where your 4 siblings are staying. You had peeked in earlier to see 2 sets of bunk beds next to each other, complete with ladders and railings for safety. You guess it’s the older sibling in you that makes you pay attention to something like that.
The size of the bedroom that you share is somewhere in between. Your window looks over a quaint courtyard filled with flowers of every color imaginable, bright green trees, and dotted throughout with pastel pink cherry blossoms amongst them. Your families had been organizing this trip for months now, and they had chosen this place because it was famous for its beautiful springtime visuals. The forecast for the next two weeks is perfect, minus a day or two with expected showers.
The pale periwinkle of the morning sky has melted into a vibrant blue by the time his little brother wakes up, slowly adjusting to the room’s brightness. He gives his older sibling a quick hug before bounding off the bed and out the door, closely followed by the other three who had been focused on their favorite cartoons for the past hour.
You want to say something to Jisung about the sweet moment they just shared but struggle to articulate your thoughts into words. He notices the slight furrow of your eyebrows as you think, nose scrunching up in concentration. “What’s up?”
And then the perfect response comes to you.
“Do you still want to trade?” You ask, referencing his earlier complaint and shooting him a cheeky smirk.
“I guess not.” He sighs, scratching the back of his neck in mock defeat.
This time it‘s your father who comes into the room. “What do you say we have a picnic today? There’s a garden downstairs that would be the perfect spot and it’s a beautiful day.”
A few minutes later you’re both brushing your teeth in the bathroom, making faces at each other in the mirror. You nearly choke on the toothpaste in your mouth when he pulls a particularly funny expression.
Once you’re both dressed and ready for the day, you meet the rest of your families in the main room of the suite. Your mom is chatting giddily with his about something on the screen of her phone that you can’t see. The curiosity doesn’t last long enough for you to ask, however, so you end up brushing it off. Your group of 10 soon reaches the ground floor, all walking briskly out of the lobby doors before being greeted by a mild temperature and a gentle breeze.
An hour later your stomach hurts from all the delicious food. While you and him had been tasked with simultaneously picking a place to sit and keeping an eye on your little brothers and sisters, your parents had gone to grab a takeaway lunch for everyone at one of the casual restaurants in the hotel so they could bring it outside, allowing you all to enjoy the weather while you ate. That was exactly what you did, and now you find yourself sprawled on your back, lying down on the large blue and white checkered picnic blanket.
The puffy white clouds above remind you too much of sugar at the moment, so instead of gazing up at the expansive sky full of them, you make a half-hearted attempt to pick out which window belongs to your hotel room. Your best friend is just about to offer you another strawberry when he looks over and sees you holding a hand over your stomach. Turning away, he pops the sweet red berry into his mouth instead before his eyes land on you again, noticing the drowsy state you’re in from eating so much.
You sleepily say a ‘thank you’ for lunch before rolling over a little onto your side, which just so happens to be the one closest to him, and your head accidentally nudges the side of his thigh. Your mother, ever the hopeless romantic, tries and fails to suppress an “aww” at the sight. Currently, you’re slipping in and out of consciousness and don’t hear the conversation she shares with your best friend.
“We were thinking about letting your siblings hang out at the kids club they have here while we go out shopping and then to dinner afterwards. Does that sound okay to you?” He’s slightly confused by the question, but her kind smile reassures him.
“Yeah, we’ll be okay… How long will you be gone?”
“Well, our reservation is at 5, but I’ve heard that the service may be a little slow, so a few hours at least. Don’t worry, the kids may get bored easily but the club will entertain them for as long as we’re there.”
“Should we just go back up to the room, then?”
“I was going to suggest walking around and exploring, but that’s fine too! Just ask what they want to do,” she motions to you with her head and winks. “Enjoy having a quiet hotel room all to yourselves.”
He blushes, glancing at you before responding. If he knew you at all, he knew you would never pass up the opportunity to take a nap in the middle of the day. “Okay, ma’am, I will.”
“How many times have I told you? You don’t need to be so formal with us! We’re like your parents, too!”
You’re awake enough to hear his laughter.
The time reads 2:30 when you finally sit back up again, rubbing your eyes and squinting in the sunlight. Your little sister runs up behind you and grabs your shoulders, giggling when you turn around to lightly poke her rosy cheek with your finger. They had been running around for a while to hopefully get out some of their energy before they spent the afternoon at the kids club. They were rambunctious at times (okay, most of the time) but also incredibly well-behaved kids when they needed to be.
Your parents round them up before sending you two off by yourselves and bidding you goodbye over their shoulders while they begin to make their way across the property, since the club is on the other side of where you’re staying. As you’re parting ways, his little brother breaks free from his father’s hold to give your best friend one last hug, the sweet action warming your heart.
Something about the way your trip began had caused an uncommon awkwardness between you two, but now that the strange tension has dispersed, the walk and elevator ride up to the suite are far from silent. By the time you reach the room you’re nearly out of breath from laughing so hard. Jisung closes the door behind him and asks, “So you’re not tired anymore?”
“Not really. Your bad jokes were enough to wake me up!”
“Bad jokes? Excuse me?”
“You heard me.”
You turn around and see him looking at you, a hand over his heart as he feigns hurt. Then his expression changes and you can almost see the lightbulb go off inside of his head. You instinctively back up when he begins to take long strides towards you. “What are you doing…?” The words die in your throat as he gets closer and closer, your steps away from him quickening until you can go no further, back pressed against the wall of the living space.
Suddenly he’s close enough for you to make out every detail of his face, and his looming figure makes you feel small. Your mind drifts to thoughts of counting every single eyelash, every pore of skin, each individual detail on his face, temporarily distracting you long enough for him to tickle your sides with his large hands.
You can’t contain your laughter as you squirm at his touch, trying to escape his tight grasp. The hem of your shirt lifts up enough to expose your bare skin, his fingers ghosting over it just lightly enough to generate goosebumps all over. There’s mischief in his eyes, mixed with the satisfaction of making you giggle so uncontrollably. He knows where all your ticklish spots are, leaving you even more breathless than before in a matter of seconds.
In a sudden burst of confidence he sweeps you off your feet and into his arms, rushing across the room and running into the one belonging to his parents. He carefully lowers you down onto the king-sized bed before continuing to dig his fingers into your sides, your arms, your stomach.
“This is payback!” He exclaims.
“For what?”
“...Okay, you got me, I just wanted an excuse to tickle you!”
“You’re so cute,” You manage to whine, your filter completely gone at this point. You miss how his face burns a deep red at your bold words, but he decides he isn’t going to fight the pride he feels as he lets a shy smile overtake him.
Momentarily resisting the urge to shield yourself from his hands, you gather enough strength after a minute to flip over, caging him in below you with your limbs. It’s his turn to giggle as you tickle his neck, which you’ve learned is one of the most sensitive places on his body.
The loud laughter that erupts from him only eggs you on, and you speed up your pace at the adorable sounds. He raises his arms to block your access to his very vulnerable collarbone and throat, but in doing so he gives you an unintended opportunity to reach his armpits. He realizes his mistake too late, your observant gaze eagerly following his every move and your quick response coming in the form of a few jabs at the underside of his sleeve.
In a rushed motion, he plants an elbow on the bed behind him and lifts himself up, trying to escape what he started, but the momentum is much greater than he anticipates and his lips narrowly miss your own. It happens so fast that the close call doesn’t register in his mind, allowing him to remain blissfully oblivious. It certainly startles you, though, enough for you to instantly fling yourself off of him and to the other side of the large bed.
Confused, he stands and follows you, circling around the pristine white mattress.
“Hey, hey… what’s wrong? Are you okay? Did I do something?” His voice raises in pitch but lowers in volume with every question.
“It’s nothing, really... I was just surprised.”
“Surprised? Why?” He tilts his head and searches your face for an answer that isn’t in the form of words. You realize that he doesn’t even know what just happened between you, and so you decide to preserve some of your remaining dignity by not explaining further.
“Never mind. I’m okay, really.”
He lies down beside you, his eyes full of concern and care. A foreign but not unwelcome feeling settles in the pit of your stomach as you both stay there, gazing at each other in a comfortable silence. Hesitantly he extends his hand, palm open and reaching for yours. You accept and squeeze it a little. He scoots closer, close enough to sling an arm over your shoulder. Close enough for you to feel his breath on your face.
“Can I ask you something?” He blurts out, and you nod.
“Is this what best friends do?”
“...What do you mean?” Your voice shakes as you speak, nervous about where this was going as well as how he manages to speak your current thoughts into existence just like that. He looks you directly in the eye, hand sliding down to rest on your waist.
“I mean, do best friends have tickle fights like this? Do they sleep in the same room like we do? Is that all we are? Because I don’t know about you, but lately I feel like there’s more—”
“—To us?”
“Yeah,” He breaks the intense eye contact with you, opting to look up at the ceiling instead.
“Well, maybe it isn’t what best friends do… but it’s what we do.”
Your anxiousness melts away with every word of the conversation as you realize that you have nothing to lose. Even if you decide that you’re no longer just best friends, he’s by your side no matter what, and you wouldn’t trade your relationship for anything, platonic or otherwise. It was leaning toward the latter at this point, anyway, but who needs labels?
“So… what are we?”
You gently let go of his hand and let yours find his face, grasping his jaw that clenches at the unfamiliar contact.
“We’re just us, you know? Maybe we’re closer than most best friends, but we aren’t a couple. At least, not right now. We’re somewhere in between, and I’m okay with that if you are. If we ever decide we’re something more in the future, we can figure out what that means for us then.” Your soft voice puts him at ease, and he relaxes under your hand, shifting even closer to you.
You don’t shy away like you usually would at such a proximity, as Jisung’s arm trails up your side and around to your shoulder blades, finally halting at the nape of your neck. He’s eye level with you, forehead pressing into yours. A rush of courage shoots from your head down to your toes, inspiring you to tilt your chin up and bump your nose with his.
The few stray moles on his face that you always notice remind you of the constellations in the night sky. Individually, the stars shine brightly enough on their own. But when they’re connected, they form a unique masterpiece. In his case, these freckles are merely a small but beautiful part of him. Every little detail about him is special, but when you picture them all together you realize how lucky you are to lay eyes on such a breathtaking sight.
The intimacy between you is broken as the boy before you makes the same face that made you laugh so hard this morning. You shake your head in mock disappointment before letting a quiet giggle escape you, and at that moment everything seems normal again.
You spend the rest of the evening watching TV and chatting on the couch of the living area.
“You know… you called me cute earlier.”
“I did?!” You panic, turning in his direction with wide eyes.
He nods smugly, nudging you with his shoulder.
“When?”
“While I was tickling you.”
“Well...” you stutter, trying to think of an excuse. Darn. There’s no way you’re getting out of this one.
“Just admit that you meant it and I’ll leave you alone.”
Swinging your legs to the side and facing him, you cross them and pout childishly. “No.”
Jisung frowns at your response, face falling and you struggle to maintain your stubborn facade. You hope he doesn’t take any of this seriously. He should know better, because the amount of times you’ve fawned and cooed over him is far too many to count. Granted, they were mostly playful exchanges like this one, but you recall a particular incident where that wasn’t the case.
You had been studying over at his house one evening when you looked up from a boring textbook only to find him asleep. His glasses were slowly sliding down the bridge of his nose, and a thin page was tucked between his fingers, like he had been in the middle of turning it. Checking the clock and deciding it was time for you to get going, you stood up, quietly shutting the heavy book and lightly setting it down on the carpet next to your bag. You then made your way over to him, the endearing pout he so often wore present even on his sleeping face.
Careful not to wake your best friend, you slowly pulled the still-open book in his hands towards you, his hand falling from its spot on the page to rest on the bed’s surface. You had to haul yourself up onto the bed to reach his glasses, however, and crawling on your knees, you gently lifted them from his face. After folding and placing them on his bedside, you stayed perched beside him, listening to each inhale and exhale that whispered past his lips.
You had absolutely no reason to believe that he wasn’t asleep.
And yet, there he was, wide awake.
He was normally a heavy sleeper, and you knew this, but the tenderness of your touch had been enough to jolt him into consciousness.
Just as he was about to open his eyes and alert you that he was, in fact, awake, you began speaking.
“Sometimes I don’t think you realize how lucky you are, y’know?”
His ears perked up in interest, anticipation flooding his senses as he waited for your next words.
“So many people these days only care about looks in a person. What makes you so special is that while you definitely have those, there’s so much more to you.”
“I’ve always thought a good personality was the most important thing to have. Up until a certain point I was under the impression that everyone else believed the same thing. But the world tells us we have to be pretty, handsome, attractive, or cute to be happy. To have friends. To be liked.”
You hesitated, “...To find love.” He prayed that you didn’t hear his breath hitch.
“When I’m with you all of that pressure just goes away. I don’t have to worry about looking presentable for anyone. You’ve never cared about my appearance. So when I find myself dwelling on yours, I need to be reminded that at the end of the day, it’s not what truly matters.”
“...So then, how exactly are you lucky? Well, it’s simple. You’ve got everything, even if you don’t know it. People like you for who you are, and your looks are just a bonus.”
As you leaned down a little, he swore that he could feel the warmth of your presence radiating onto his skin.
“...I guess it’s not a sin to take notice of them every once in a while, though.”
Even without his sight, your best friend felt the way that your eyes scanned his supposedly sleeping figure. It was like your gaze was as light as a feather, filled with the utmost care and gentleness despite not even touching him.
“Yeah, you’re pretty cute,” you had muttered after a moment, more to yourself than anyone else. He still heard it, though. If you kept this up, he didn’t know how much longer he could pretend to be asleep.
Another minute ticked by on the clock resting on his desk. Stealthily sliding off his bed, you went to gather your things and got ready to leave for the night. You turned off the light and were in the process of shutting his door behind you when you heard the faintest sound come from inside, resembling a goodnight wish.
You were surprised that the door handle didn’t shatter into pieces when your grip on it tightened at record speed.
In all honesty he was exhausted, and your soft, shuffling footsteps around his room had relaxed him to the point of forgetting you weren’t supposed to know that he was awake.
His door was never fully closed that night, as you had been too busy panicking on the way out of his house. He had heard absolutely everything, and you were sure it couldn’t get any worse. The moment which you saw as embarrassing would, oddly enough, eventually become a source of inspiration and confidence for him when he needed it. There would always be an unspoken agreement between you to never bring it up, though, as you couldn’t bear to be reminded of such an awkward mistake on both of your parts.
You can’t stand arguing with him over something like this for long, so after another few statements of denial and prodding from him, you cave.
“Oh, come on, we both know you’re adorable,” you finally blurt out, crumbling under Jisung’s devastated expression. Lunging forward, you can’t help but pinch his cheeks between your fingers, a habit that you’ve developed over the years to tease each other. A habit that he pretends to hate, but deep down he can’t get enough of.
After hearing the words he’s been after, he reaches behind him with a sly grin and holds up his phone screen, showing a newly recorded voice memo of presumably your forced confession. With a gasp you withdraw your hands from their position on his face and turn around, crossing your arms over your chest as a child would do and letting out a loud huff. He scoots toward you and waves a hand in front of your eyes, trying to draw your attention away from the wall opposite you.
“You know you love me,” he tries.
The use of the strong but not inaccurate word makes your heart skip a beat, and you warm up to it within a matter of moments. Sighing, you take a peek over your shoulder before allowing him to pull you down to lie with your head in his lap, looking up at his face above you.
“You got me there.”
A few days pass and nothing is much different between you. Your family travels around the city and occasionally spends the day in the hotel. It happens to be a rainy evening the next time you’re completely alone together. Your parents are taking your siblings downstairs to get some dessert at a cute and colorful candy store in the shopping section of the lobby. Both deciding to go to bed early, you tell them all goodnight and close the door to your shared bedroom as they leave.
The soft sound of the water droplets hitting the window is soothing, but as usual, thoughts of your best friend cloud your mind while you try to fall asleep. You lie down on your side facing his bed, him doing the same across from you. In the dim light you can’t tell if his eyes are open or not. You get your answer a minute later.
In that same raspy voice that always gives you chills, he mumbles, “You look lonely...”
Squeaking a little, you try to recover from the surprise, “What?”
“Come here,” He lazily stretches an arm out, beckoning you to join him.
As you crawl under the blankets, he pulls you close, threading his legs through yours and inhaling your scent. He’s warm, and the bed’s warm, and you never want to leave because this just feels so perfect. His hand comes up to stroke your hair, and you automatically bury your face further into his neck.
Jisung feels you tense up as you realize that while you’ve been in his arms like this before, something about this time feels different, and his fingers graze over your neck to gently massage your upper back. With every passing second the position begins to feel more natural to you, and for the first time since you’ve arrived at this destination that seems to be the epitome of springtime’s beauty, you don’t dream of him because he’s no longer out of reach.
The clock that sits on the end table between your beds, one of which is now empty, reads 1:46 when you wake up, though you don’t turn around to check. You’re exactly where you were a few short hours ago when you fell asleep, held in his snug embrace, wondering how so much could change in such a short time.
“Can’t sleep either?” His chest rumbles as he murmurs, lips against your forehead.
“Actually, I’ve been sleeping. You haven’t?”
“I can’t stop thinking about you.”
“Wow, you’re even cheesier than usual in the middle of the night.”
“No, I mean I’m serious. I’ve literally been up all night thinking about you even though you’re right here.”
“...I don’t know how to respond to that.”
“You don’t have to, I just...” He exhales loudly, his warm breath tickling your face.
“What is it?”
“...There’s something I’ve always wanted to do but I’ve never felt brave enough to do it before.” Looking at you in that moment makes him feel like he has nothing and everything to lose at the same time.
“And if I don’t do it now I don’t know if I ever will.”
You nod a little, signaling for him to continue. Your heart seems to have an idea of where this is going but your brain hasn’t caught up just yet.
And then he says four words that you never thought you’d hear but hoped for anyway.
“Can I kiss you?”
Your body answers on its own with a slight hum, head tilting up so you can meet his eyes with your own before they begin to trail down your face slowly.
“I thought you’d never ask.”
Every nerve in your body is on high alert, aching to feel the plush softness of his lips against your own. He shares your desire, nearly shaking at the thought of finally doing what he’s dreamed of after all this time. He’s scared he won’t be good at it, that he’ll disappoint you, but as he gazes at your rosy lips he throws everything to the wind and abandons his worries, figuring he might as well try.
And try he does. Everything seems like it’s in slow motion. Nothing about the kiss is rushed, but you find it more romantic that way. When you touch at last, you’re already addicted to the feeling. A thought of your parents and siblings being just a few rooms away enters both of your minds for a split second before it leaves, and you remain unfazed.
You hold your arms against your chest, not sure what to do with them. He doesn’t seem to know either. What does come naturally, however, is your eyes fluttering closed at the contact, and even though you can’t see anything, explosions of color dance in front of your sealed eyelids regardless.
As you break apart you’re both much too shy to look at each other right now. You settle for staring at the dark window behind him, barely able to make out the raindrops trailing down the glass.
He focuses on your bare shoulder, exposed by your sleeveless pajama shirt. He doesn’t even realize that he places a hand on it, or that you look back at him not in surprise, but curiosity.
Your best friend chuckles deeply, “May I kiss you again? Please?”
“Kiss me all you want,” You mumble softly, feeling far from sober after tasting him.
His lips remind you of the fresh spring air that rushes into your bedroom whenever you step out onto the balcony. They’re sweet and a little bit sour, like cold lemonade without sugar. He smells like the crisp, clean sheets of the bed mixed with a hint of oak wood, just like the vibrant, shady trees below your window.
He’s all kinds of intoxicating.
Quickly closing the distance between you once again, Jisung plants another loving kiss on your lips. This time, he gingerly cups your face in his hands, a thumb tucked underneath your chin. The novelty of the sensation overwhelms you, clouding your mind, and you can’t think straight. That’s why for no reason at all, you can’t stop yourself from giggling softly into the kiss, unsure how to properly respond and dizzy from the unfamiliarity of this new kind of touch.
He pulls back a little, lips leaving yours, and your breaths mingle in the small space between you. Fearing the worst, he asks in a deep but quiet voice, “...Are you laughing at me?”
The way he says it, his bright eyes previously so full of hope and love suddenly dimming, makes you feel like someone just punctured your heart. His question breaks you out of your daze, and you rush to correct your error.
Apologies spill from your lips, “No! I’m… This is all really new to me. I guess I’m just nervous… You’re doing nothing wrong. If anything, I’m the one messing this up. I have no idea what to do, where to put my hands… I’m so sorry, we shouldn’t do this.” Squeezing your eyes shut in frustration with your inexperience, you hastily roll onto your other side, facing away from him.
“Hey, hey...” he soothes, firmly gripping your shoulder in an effort to get your attention. You turn, and he sees your face glisten with tears as they overflow from your eyes. “Oh no, please don’t cry… If it makes you feel better, I don’t know what I’m doing either.”
“Really?” You ask, incredulously.
“Not a clue.” He smiles a little, hoping it was enough to bring a similar expression onto your own face.
When you don’t respond, he offers, “Do you want to figure it out together?”
Your gaze softens at his words, and he takes the opportunity to bring his hands to your cheeks, wiping away the tears. With a small nod, you roll over to face him yet again.
“But seriously, where should I put my hands?”
At this it’s his turn to giggle, and he takes your wrists in his own, guiding them to rest on his shoulders. As he leans in for the third time, one hand of yours stays in place while the other migrates upwards, past the back of his neck to comb through his thick, dark hair with your fingers. He’s holding you by the hips now, touch tentative but secure.
Just as you’re about to kiss, he halts his movements, with the minuscule distance of what seems like only a hair’s length separating you. With an innocent but teasing grin, he waits for your response.
Not even caring if you rip it, your hand leaves its spot on his collarbone to impatiently tug on the collar of his pajama shirt, initiating the kiss yourself. The small noise of surprise he makes at the brazen action is cut off by your lips meeting his.
After getting more comfortable and sharing a countless amount of kisses, ranging from sweet, playful pecks to ones full of sincerity and affection, you collapse on top of him. With your head laying on his broad chest, he has a chance to catch his breath before pulling you as close to him as physically possible. His arms come up to tangle behind your back, palms open against the blades of your shoulders.
He shifts you upwards and a little to the side, at the perfect angle for him to pepper featherlight kisses all over your face. At each place where he plants them you feel a faint buzzing feeling, and though there are no visible marks left on your skin, your true feelings for each other are indelible.
“So… what now?”
“Well, I was thinking about formally asking you out, but then I realized that there’s no point.” Jisung’s ambitious words catch you off guard.
“Huh?” You deadpan.
“Not to be dramatic or anything, but I’m saying that there’s no one else I’d rather spend my life with than you. I feel like we don’t even need to make things ‘official’ between us because this is what we both want, right? I… I want to stay this close with you forever.”
After a minute, you reply, face flushed at his confession.
“That makes sense… Yeah, okay.” You take a deep breath. “And… so do I.”
“I know we’re still young, and it sounds like such a silly thing to say at our age. I have no doubt that others would scoff at us, call us too naive if they heard that. Sure, there are bound to be hard times in store for us. We never know what the future holds, but I’m willing to work together to overcome any challenge that stands in our way if you are.”
“Me too.” A triumphant affirmation of your commitment to this relationship, to each other.
“We’re just us, right?”
“Right.” You beam at him.
You exchange a few more sleepy pecks as you cuddle close in the dim light of your hotel bedroom, the scattered tingles on your skin bringing shy smiles to your faces. The giddiness of the rejoicing butterflies in your stomach only grows with every second that you spend like this, in your best friend’s arms. You wonder how you got so lucky.
After a final, longer kiss, your lips are still touching when Jisung gently breathes out, “Sweet dreams.” And you drift off.
You both dream of each other that night, your subconscious thoughts assuring you that it was always meant to be.
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salvatoreschool · 3 years
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Kaylee Bryant On "Legacies," The Importance Of Queer Rep On TV, Hosie, And More
"I have so many people constantly telling me that watching Josie on the show has made them feel more comfortable in themselves."
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This week, Kaylee Bryant squeezed us into her schedule to talk about their role as Josie Saltzman on Legacies. As a huge Josie fan, I couldn't think of a better way to spend a morning than talking to Kaylee about The Vampire Diaries, Hosie, our favorite books, and more! Here's everything we talked about:
1. What was your audition for Legacies like?
My audition process was very interesting because they kept a lot of it a secret. I had no script and a fake character name. And then I had my second audition, a chemistry read, which Jenny Boyd [Lizzie] wasn't even at. I walked in and immediately just flat-out asked, "This is for the twins, right?" So it was long, but short and intense at the same time.
BuzzFeed: Wait, did you know which twin you were going to be playing?
I initially auditioned for Josie, and then during chemistry reads, they started asking me to read for Lizzie. And then we had our final callback where I finally met Jenny and we both read for both roles. They never told us [who was playing who] until Jenny had her appointment to go dye her hair blonde.
2. What's a typical day on set like?
Gosh, it changes every time. If it's a busy day on set, we're talking like 8 a.m. call time where we spend about two hours on hair and makeup and go straight into rehearsals. If it's a big sort of episode that involves stunt work and wire work, you're talking about doing maybe two scenes in a day. But if it's an average day, we can do anywhere from three to five scenes and we can start at 8 a.m. and wrap at 8 p.m. It really depends. I'm surprised if I'm not surprised.
3. You’ve said you’re a huge fan of The Vampire Diaries. Josie played Elena in the musical episode — what was that like?
It was surreal for sure. They had talked a little bit about doing a musical episode since Season 1. And I always thought that they were joking when they talked about doing Salvatore: The Musical!, so when they said Josie would obviously play Elena, I was like, "Hahaha." And then I got the script and realized I actually was playing Elena. The musical aspect of it was the easy part. The difficult part was, I think, getting into the iconic Elena attire and trying to feel normal. Because we have a lot of crew members that worked on The Vampire Diaries, and they kept coming up to me being like, "This is weird. I feel weird."
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4. Do you have a favorite scene you’ve filmed with Courtney Bandeko (Finch) this season?
I really did love the scene that we had in the town square [when] we got on a moped. There were so many fans in the town square that were huddled in the rain — it was pouring rain, freezing cold — trying to snap photos of us. And it was kind of one of those surreal moments where it felt full circle, that I was on a Vampire Diaries spinoff in town square. It was a lot going on, but it was a lot of fun. It's always fun working with Courtney.
5. You and Danielle Rose Russell (Hope) also have amazing chemistry — what’s your favorite scene you’ve filmed together?
Oh gosh, we have a lot that are pretty amazing. Honestly, I'd say [Season 3] Episode 14 — we finally got to do a lot more scenes together. And it's always fun, especially when it's Josie, Lizzie, and Hope, because we have so much history character-wise. Any time you really get to dive into that, we love it.
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6. I know Josie and Finch are working through some things right now, but I gotta ask — how do you feel about Hosie?
I love it. Danielle and I loved the idea of Hosie starting from Season 1, and we kept asking and asking and asking for it. So it's kind of funny and full circle that now the fans have kind of taken our side with things, and now they won't stop asking for it. All we want is this beautiful, dynamic relationship. And I think that the fans want that as well.
BuzzFeed: Yeah, I mean, people have even been asking me about Hosie, and I don't work on the show!
Oh, I'm sure! [Laughs] Obviously I love it, though.
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7. Is there a particular Josie moment you’re really proud of?
Josie has a scene coming up in Episode 18 — or 19? — I don't know, but it's good. It's sort of the pinnacle of everything that Josie has felt over the past three years kind of culminating into one moment. So, I'm excited for people to see it.
8. You recently came out as queer. How has playing Josie, who’s pansexual, impacted you personally?
I felt a lot of pressure when I initially booked Josie because I was still figuring out who I was and what my label was. And playing a character who was so comfortable in who she was, it was inspiring [to me] in a way that I think a lot of other people watching the show have been inspired. I have so many people constantly telling me that watching Josie on the show has made them feel more comfortable in themselves. It's kind of amazing that we all have the same experience in that having queer representation makes you more comfortable.
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9. You’ve been vocal about your Asian identity, and your character has spoken Japanese on the show. Did you have a hand in incorporating that into Josie’s character?
No, not at all! So, I spoke Japanese a few times on the [Instagram] Live and one of our writers, Penny Cox, saw me speaking Japanese and immediately went to Brett [Matthews] and was like, "We need to make this happen somehow." And then all of a sudden, I had a script in my hands. So it was a surprise, but a fun one.
BuzzFeed: Are you fluent in Japanese?
Gosh, no! I'm barely fluent in English. [Laughs] I would say I speak at the level of maybe a second-grader on a good day, though.
10. If you could pitch any storyline for Josie, what would it be?
I always joke that I want an episode that takes place overnight. That way, we all have to be wearing pajamas the entire episode. I just want to wear some comfy clothes for a whole two weeks, that's my main goal. So we can have a pajama episode, that's my pitch.
11. What's it like getting into character for Dark Josie scenes?
It's different in the sense that I know Josie so well. And knowing Josie in turn makes me understand Dark Josie. I have a whole different playlist of music that I listen to for Dark Josie — and I have the wig, which helps a lot with getting into character.
BuzzFeed: Well, now I have to ask what music is on that playlist!
I think "Bury a Friend" by Billie Eilish is a great one for Dark Josie. Also, "Villain" by K/DA is a prime example of a perfect song for Dark Josie, so I listen to that one as well.
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12. What's your go-to Starbucks order?
Plain black iced Americano. Aria [Shahghasemi, who plays Landon] says I drink coffee like a sociopath. [Laughs]
13. What TV show are you currently binging?
I just finished watching Alice in Borderland, which is a Japanese show on Netflix. And I know Feel Good Season 2 just came out, so I think that's my next binge.
14. Damon or Stefan?
Stefan! They're both beautiful and I love them very much, but I'm Team Stefan when it comes to Elena.
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15. If you could work with anyone from The Vampire Diaries, who would it be?
Ian Somerhalder has a lot of dogs. So, maybe I want to work with him for the sole reason of just talking about dogs. [Writer's note: Kaylee revealed she has two rescue dogs, one whom was sleeping right next to them during the interview! Kaylee described the dogs as "both complete and total nuts," but said she misses them about five minutes after getting into the car to go to work.]
16. Do you think you’re most similar to Josie, Lizzie, or Hope in real life?
I would say I'm an eclectic mix of the three. I can be very headstrong like Hope, very outspoken like Lizzie, and I try to be as loving as Josie, but sometimes that doesn't always work. But I'd like to think all three.
17. Is there a role people would be surprised to learn you auditioned for, but didn't get?
I've been auditioning since I was eight, so there's quite a few Disney Channel shows and movies. And I'm sure people would be surprised because I think I auditioned for like, all of them. It's very funny, one of the first jobs I ever booked in television was Kickin' It with Leo Howard [Ethan]. Talk about full circle — going from being 12 years old and having no idea what I'm doing to being a series regular on [Legacies] and welcoming Leo to the set.
18. Who's your favorite Disney princess?
Oh, I love Mulan so much. She was, like, my first crush ever. I also love Moana, but it's Mulan 1,000%.
19. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
I mean, I do eat rice every day. So maybe just white rice — you can make rice into candy and...yeah, let's go with rice.
20. If you were stranded on a deserted island and could only bring one book, what would it be?
Oh no! I recently read The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers, and I really enjoyed that book. Oh god, Is that the one that I want to bring, though? I mean, I really enjoyed it and it has many different aspects to it. I don't know. Or should I go with Harry Potter? I go through different genres too, like right now I'm in a big sci-fi phase, but other times I'll go the opposite direction and only read biographies. Yeah, that's super hard. I don't think I would know!
21. On that note, what's your Hogwarts house?
Initially, when I was younger, it used to just be straight-up Slytherin. And now, I recently took the Sorting Hat Quiz and I got Ravenclaw. So I'm going to go with Slytherclaw.
BuzzFeed: What's Josie's house?
Josie would be Slytherin. She tries very hard and, you know, not everyone in Slytherin is evil. She just, you know, has her way of going about things.
22. Has anything super funny or embarrassing happened to you on set?
I trip a lot on set. I get scared very easily — if I come around the corner and somebody is walking the other direction, I get scared. Everybody knows to walk slowly around me because I get scared so easily.
23. What's your wildest fan story?
I've had people cry before. And I'm an empath, so if somebody starts crying, I immediately am like, "Please don't cry, because I'm gonna cry." And then it turns into this whole thing. Once we were shooting in the town square and this young girl with her mom started crying, and I just hugged her and I didn't know what to say. So there's a lot of that. There's also the occasional, "Where's your twin?" and...I don't have one, sorry! But yeah, I would say the people who cry always throw me for a loop.
24. How do you unwind after a long day?
I have an hourlong drive home from work, so I usually listen to a lot of music. And by the time I get home, taking off all of my makeup is very therapeutic. Because over time, we're working 13-hour days, 16-hour days, and it's just powder constantly building up on my face. So, washing my face is always very therapeutic. And then just laying back and reading a book and petting my dog is the best.
25. Is there a celebrity you get told you look like a lot?
Most recently, Sara Waisglass [from Ginny & Georgia and Degrassi]. We follow each other on social media now and I completely messed up because I don't know how Twitter works at all. I forgot that there's a DMing interaction, so we followed each other and I was like, "Oh, that's nice." And then just recently, I saw that she had messaged me being like, "We're twins! We should be friends!" And I immediately messaged back, "I'm so sorry, let's be friends!"
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26. Who's your biggest celebrity crush?
Oh, I have so many. But consistently since I saw Orphan Black, Tatiana Maslany. Hands down.
27. Finally, have you ever caught someone watching a TV show or movie that you're in on a flight or anywhere else?
We were all, as a cast, flying to — was it New York Comic Con, or San Diego Comic Con? — one of the Comic Cons. And we were all sitting there and we saw that Legacies was actually on the airplane as an option. And we were all just uncomfortably staring at each other. Yeah, that was surreal.
Be sure to catch Kaylee in Legacies, which airs Thursdays at 9 p.m. ET on The CW!
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little-diable · 4 years
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Let me down slowly - Jasper Hale (angst/fluff)
Request by anon: Hey love, can you please do 2,5 and 8 of angst for Jasper. I love your writing so much. You are incredible
Thank you so much lovie!! Enjoy my loves. xxx
2 “Kiss me one last time, so I’ll always remember the way you felt against my lips”
5 “You broke me, finally broke me”
8 “You won’t get rid of me that easily” 
Warnings: anxiety 
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The rain was pounding against her window, drowning out her anxious thoughts, calmed the raging storm inside her mind, made her wrap her trembling arms around her frame. “In and out”, she repeated the words, taking deep breaths, his golden eyes were burned into her mind, would cloud her senses, not giving her any room to think straight. 
“You broke me, Jasper Hale, finally broke me”, (y/n) whimpered into the darkness, flinching as another thunder rumbled through the night sky. The lump in her throat made it harder for her to breathe, (y/n) wasn’t able to process what had happened a few hours ago. 
It had been easy for him, probably too easy, Jasper had ripped her to the floor, pulled her apart, like she was nothing more than a few bricks, bricks that had been perfectly fitting together at one point, though not anymore. She had lost her purpose, her focus, “we’re done here”, his growl still shot shivers through her body, the way he had stared at her with those empty, dark eyes, she could almost find her trembling silhouette in them, watching herself fall apart in front of him. 
She didn’t understand it at first, he had turned up at her door, had forced her back into her room, his cold hands grasping her jaw, it had been the first time, where she had felt anxious around him, scared of him, a feeling that made his insides churn.
It had been the day after Bellas birthday party, (y/n) hadn’t been feeling too great, thinking that she probably came down with a stomach bug, but the moment Bella had told her, about Jasper losing his temper, she realized that something inside of her had begged her not to go. She would have been reckless, would have tried to calm him down, probably getting hurt in the process.
But, she would have preferred to be hurt like that and not by his words, like he had done hours later, the furious expression as he screamed mindless words at her, “I would never want to stay with someone so pathetic anyways”, he had tried to come up with any hurtful words, trying to make her hate him, so she’d let go of him.
The words he had thrown at her had probably hurt him even more than her, Jasper detested himself for treating her like that, but she wouldn’t give in so easily, Jasper knew, that (y/n) wouldn’t let them go down without a fight, so he did what had to be done. 
“Kiss me one last time, so I’ll always remember the way you felt against my lips”, she had whispered, begging him, tears were flooding down the sides of her face, it had been a moment of weakness, a moment where Jasper had given into his longing, pressing his cold lips against hers, tasting her sweetness on his tongue one last time. Her fleeting whimper made his insides burn, Jasper had to swallow down the lump in his throat, he had to trust his mind, had to trust the feeling, that he was only trying to protect her. 
As her (y/e/c) eyes fell upon his sweater, (y/n) rose from her mattress, a determined expression on her features, she wouldn’t let go of him like this, not without any explanation at least. 
It took her a while to drive to the Cullens mansion, the rain was still pouring down on Forks, making it harder for her to see. She was drenched the second she stepped out of her car, running towards the Cullens front door, she didn't need to knock, didn’t need to pound her fists against the wood, his golden eyes were staring at her shivering form. 
(Y/n) didn’t let herself overthink the situation, didn’t give him any chance to protest as she pressed her lips against his, hands tightly holding onto his neck, “you won’t get rid of me that easily”, the way she ever so softly whispered, made him pull her even closer. “I don’t want to hurt you”, he stuttered against her lips, eyes closed, too scared to look at her, knowing that his walls would crumble as soon as she’d look at him with those gorgeous eyes. 
“You won’t hurt me Jasper and even if, that’s a risk I’m willing to take.”, her hand moved up to his cheek, his cold skin shot the all too familiar tingles up her spine, (y/n) tried to press herself even closer to his chest. Eventually both would have to talk about the way he had screamed at her, the hurtful words, that had left his mouth, but now, now (y/n) needed him to hold her close, to nuzzle her head against the crook of his neck, inhaling his intoxicating scent, feeling at ease, at home. 
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