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sunshine-theseus · 7 months

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Follow | Alex Chidiac x Reader

Word count: 2.3k Summary: you hate Alex Chidiac. Until you don’t Warnings: angst, fluff, I swear I’ll try to do non-angsty stuff soon this is for @charligrantismygirlfriend - feel free to send requests

Alexandra Chidiac made me want to rip my hair out and simultaneously smash my lips against her own. She was just so full of herself and insulting and… extremely beautiful and funny. But she had a way of making me despise her without even trying.

And it seemed that wherever I went, she would follow.

The first time we’d played together outside The Matildas was in Madrid.

In the 2017/18 January transfer window, I moved from Perth Glory to play for Atletico Madrid. 7 months later and Alex was sat in the cubby next to me in the locker room, telling jokes and connecting with the team, something I’d been struggling with despite having been there significantly longer and being able to speak Spanish.

During my time at Atletico, I had become reserved and preferred to stick to only going between my house and the training grounds, even if asked to join for celebrations or team bonding. It’s when I began to hate Alex.

Then during Covid, I’d decided to move back to Australia. Melbourne City had been the closest club to my hometown that had made an offer, so I packed my bags and went back to Australia. How I’d missed the news that Alex was moving there too was beyond me, but I found myself in a similar situation as Madrid. I was excited to play with some girls I was already friends with and have people to spend time with between quarantine and games. But Alex had managed to capture everyone’s attention again. The friends I had, began to rush over to Alex instead of me and I’d be left desperately searching for a partner in warmups because they wanted to be around her.

Then she was put on loan to Melbourne Victory for the next few years and I managed to escape her presence outside of National camps and games for a while. People liked to ask why I avoided her so much, especially Tony and Sam, because “getting along with the whole team is important”. I never really had an answer.

It was really only toward the end of the World Cup that the ‘rivalry’, as I so graciously named it, began actually affecting my game play and the team as a whole.

Alex and I were paired up for some exercises, but I was stubborn. She was so annoying.

So stupid, so rude, so pretty, her smile was so bright. I don’t understand why I have a crush on someone I despise so deeply.

So, while doing some passing and skill practice, I found myself playing and passing harsher than required as Alex made small comments about my abilities. And when Alex made a joke about it to Kyra and Mini who were next to us, both of whom told me off and to get over my issues with Alex, I’d made the decision I was done.

“Do you get off on making me feel shit?” I approach Alex, my finger poking her chest.

“Do you enjoy making sure I’m alone wherever I go? Did I do something to you 6 years ago that I’m unaware of that made you feel like you had to take everyone from my life?” I could feel 36 pairs of eyes on me. Have the whole crew always sat out with us?

I don’t get much time to think about it.

“Me?! You’re the one who’s always been in some fucking mood with me. Ever since Madrid you’ve just ignored any situation where I’m around. You hate me for no reason!”

“I only ignore you because you isolate me from every single team we’re on together. You show up and take my friends away from me and then have the audacity to shit talk my playing ability while I’m right in front of you but of course I’m the bad guy here. I’ll always be the bad guy!”

I then sarcastically add, “Oh and thank you Kyra and Mini for standing up for me. It’s really appreciated”. They look at the ground.

“Maybe I wouldn’t say that shit if you didn’t let your unwarranted emotions take a hold of you. You’re sloppy.” My arm is swinging before I can think of any consequences, but it’s caught midair, and I notice the familiar ‘20’ and kangaroo tattoos adoring my captain’s fingers.

“Let’s take a fucking walk.” I’m about to protest, say that Alex deserves to have a talking to as well, but Sam starts pushing me towards the tunnel before I can get anything out.

“Dude what the fuck is going through your head. I’ve known you for 7 years and you’ve never done anything like this.” I shrug in response.

“We play England tomorrow, and you’re a consistent starter, but if you and Alex are going to squabble like this and jeopardise us as a team, you might be benched for the rest of the cup.”

“You’re fucking kidding me. Sam you can’t do that!” We’ve reached the locker room.

“Y/n, you nearly punched Alex. I might be your friend but right now I’m you’re captain. I have to do what is best for the team.”

“Yeah… right… maybe I should head back to the hotel. It’s probably best I take a break.” Sam sighs and pulls me into a hug.

“I know you feel alone and that we’re against you, but I promise we aren’t. I’m going to talk to Alex with Tony. She’ll probably be sent back with you. You should talk, like adults and teammates. If you show that you won’t be distracted tomorrow, I’ll talk to Tony about subbing you on at half time or something. I do wish you’d mentioned how you feel earlier. Like years ago, earlier.” I simply nod.

“Thanks Sammy. I really am sorry for today. The team didn’t deserve that.”

Sam pats my back before going back down the tunnel and onto the pitch to talk to Alex and Tony, leaving me to get changed and get an uber back to the hotel.

~~~~~

It’s only about 40 minutes after I get to mine and Sam’s room at the hotel that I hear a knocking on the door. At first, I think it’s someone who has the wrong room, but they don’t stop knocking and soon I’m groaning as I drag my sock clad feet to the door to look through the peep hole. And there stands a slightly distorted Alex Chidiac who seems awfully nervous as she looks up and down the hallway.

“I know you’re in there Y/n! You know Sam said we have to talk so let’s talk.”

She goes to knock again but I’m already swinging the door open.

“Yeah whatever let’s get it over with.” We move to sit down on the two beds facing each other.

It’s silent for a moment and neither of us look at the other, fiddling with our hands and the bed sheets. Alex is the first to break the silence.

“I don’t understand why you hate me so much or why you think I’m trying to turn people against you. I was super excited to join you in Madrid in 2018, to have someone I already knew, but you were always so cold.”

How do you tell someone after 6 years that you started hating them because you were jealous? That it took you 7 months to even feel comfortable at the club, just for it to be stripped away within the first week of them joining.

“I hate you because everyone loves you so much!” she gives me a confused look.

“I mean, it took me months to start fitting in at Atletico and you just swooped in and made everyone adore you and they stopped even trying to talk to me. And then when you followed me to City, all my friends I already had, dropped me to follow you around like lost puppies. I spent years alone because you were Ms Perfect to everyone, and I wasn’t social enough or carefree or noticeable or funny. Sam was all I had, and she wasn’t even really there. I don’t know.” I rub at my eyes to stop the tears that are inevitably forming behind them.

“And then you made those comments today and Kyra and Kat said nothing to defend me, they told me to get over it, and that was it for me. If I always have to be the bad guy in everyone’s story, I’ll be the bad guy”.

Alex reaches for my hand and I don’t pull back.

“I didn’t mean for any of that to happen. I wasn’t trying to hurt you. I-” she pauses and seems to contemplate what she says next.

“What?”

“I followed you to Madrid and Melbourne because I liked you. I wanted to be with you, get to know you better. But after that year in Melbourne is seemed clear you hated me so I signed with JEF and went on loan to Victory.”

“Y- you liked me?”

“Well, it was hard not to. I still do. It was hard seeing you be so kind to everyone else, every time you played you looked so angelic, and I just couldn’t stop thinking about you. I’m sorry I made you feel like you were the bad guy. I should have talked to you about it all when we were in Madrid.”

“Kiss me.”

“What?”

“Kiss me. Please. I like you too. Like so much and I’m sorry for being so horrible and cold to y-” I’m cut off my Alex, who pulls me up and grabs my face.

She’s significantly shorter than me so I have to lean down but I kiss her, hard.

“I’d say we talked enough to please Sam and Tony, right?” she whispers against my lips as my thumb traces the light freckles on her cheeks.

“Absolutely.”

She waists no time on pulling me down on the bed and as we giggle, cuddle and kiss, we loose track of time.

Before I know it, Sam is bursting through the door.

“I’m baaack you better have talked to Chi- o…h” she stumbles over her own bag as she sees Alex curled up against me, now fast asleep, as I trace shapes on her arm.

“Ok I know I said you gotta work it out, but this isn’t what I meant.” She plops down on her bed.

“Y- yeah I wasn’t expecting it but she has a way with words.”

“Two hours ago her ‘way with words’ made you try to punch her in the face.”

“Yeah well, things changed.”

“Stay right there! I’m taking a picture to send to the group chat.”

“What!? Sam no!”

“Oh no not the team group chat” I sigh in relief. “The one with Kristie, E.V.E and Kate (emily’s wife)”

“SAM NO!” I try to slide my arm out from under Alex to grab Sam’s phone but it’s a worthless cause when the familiar sound of a message being sent is heard.

“I’m going to kill you when Alex wakes up.”

“Yuh huh ok. I’m going to call Kristie.”

“Tell her I say hi! And I hope Sammy M is doing well.”

~~~~~

Four days pass. We got knocked out by England and Sweden, finishing fourth overall in the World Cup. We all sat on the field as we watched Sweden get their bronze medals, I held Alex close to my side as I held Sam’s hand. We keep getting so close before a medal is ripped right from our grasp and we were all beginning to get tired of it, but Sam was taking it the hardest.

“I’m so proud of you Sammy. You weren’t even sure you’d get to play at the start, but you came back and lead us this far. We’re going to get to the Olympics and win the whole fucking thing.” She kisses me on the head before getting up to hug some of the girls before trying to find Kristie and her family in the crowd.

“I’m proud of you too.” I hear Alex whisper beside me.

I pull her up and hug her tight.

“I’ll always be proud of you too Al.”

I know there is a camera next to us but I kiss her anyway. Now I have her, I won’t let go of her any time soon.

~~~~~

Alex and I spend some time alone over the short rest of our break, only going between the beach that she unreasonably hated, and her apartment. We’d met up with Sam and Kristie for a sort of double date, before they both left to America for Sam’s birthday, and bid farewell to all the other girls who had to fly back to their respective clubs.

It was my last day before I had to fly back to my club. I’d been cooking dinner for a rather helpless Alex when her arms wrapped around my waist.

“I’m going to miss you so much when you leave.” She groans as she peppers kisses across my back.

I think I feel a hint of a smile on her lips but decide not to think too far into it.

“I’m going to miss you too. Especially your lips. And your cute freckles. And you’re pretty green eyes. Every. Single. Thing.” I peck her lips after each sentence.

“I promise to call every day.” I let out a hum.

“You can barely remember to have breakfast.”

“Hey! For you I’ll remember anything.” I just smile and kiss her once more.

Tomorrow I’d have to say goodbye, unable to see her for months on end.

~~~~~

“You’re fucking kidding me!” is yelled across the Tigres locker room as our late transfer walks through the door.

It’s non other than Alexandra Chidiac. My girlfriend who I thought I’d left behind to continue out her loan for Melbourne Victory after the world cup.

She won’t stop fucking following me.

#woso x reader #alex chidiac #alex chidiac x reader #woso #the matildas x reader #the matildas

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taiblogcomics · 2 years

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New Phone, Who Dis?

Hey there, physics-defying trash can lids. The spooky month may be over, but our look into the Goosebumps comics continues! If you aren't tired of them already, well... Honestly, maybe this one will tire you out, because it is a lot, dear readers.

Here's the cover:

This arc is titled "Download and Die!" As you might guess from that title, it's a modernised setting update of the "Say Cheese and Die!" concept. I hope that terrifies you as much as it does me. Goosebumps is always set in a quasi-'90s universe, and it's always weird when they try to update it. Remember when one of the HorrorLand books name-dropped the Wii and how awkward that felt? And now you wanna do an arc based around smartphones? Oh my land, I can't see this ending well.

Anyways, the cover seems decently ominous enough. But Slappy's the villain again, and the titular Creeps from "Calling All Creeps" are here too. That's the other problem with this story. On paper, a modernised "Say Cheese and Die!" concept does work. But now we're trying to stack several more series on top of it, and what was a flimsy base at best is all gonna come crashing down.

So we open with some kids on the first day of a new school year. Mitra and Kyra are buddies who share neighbouring lockers, to their excitement. Look, you have to find your own enjoyment in school. Another girl, a blonde who introduces herself as Flips, also sidles up, having a locker in the same section. Kyra cottons on to the unbelievable name of Flips, and deduces that she must be Flips1101101, on the Travelers of the Frost leaderboards. And even more unbelievably, she's right. That's some remarkable odds. Did you know any random placers on online gaming leaderboards who went to your school?

After Mitra's older brother, Merhdad the hall monitor, shoos the girls to class, they end up joining up for a team project. A project assignment, on the first day of school? I guess it's supposed to be an all-year assignment, because the goal is to make a computer program for a small business to use. Do they have programming classes in high(?) school now? And while they're friends, you can tell Mitra is getting a little jealous of how much attention Kyra is paying to Flips instead of her. Your standard best friend struggles in kids' media.

After giving the eyes to a girl across the cafeteria, then getting mad at Flips for taking her usual seat Mitra uses for staring at her, Mitra gives up and goes to the computer lab so she can copy the schedule to her phone. A group of jerks inside the lab, though, opens the door suddenly on her, knocking the phone out of her hands. And when it hits the floor, the jerks step out of the room directly onto her phone, cracking it fully. They taunt her, since her brother gave them a late slip earlier. This is their revenge.

And the cycle of revenge continues while the trio join in on gaming that night. Now that they're friends with Flips, they can play in her raid group or whatever. Flips also suggests they get revenge, while Kyra says to just tell a teacher. Mitra prefers Flips' plan, but little else is advanced in this direction. Next morning, though, Mitra finds a package on her doorstep. Opening it at school, it's a new phone. Her friends are suspicious, and Mitra likewise resolves not to use it (which is an astonishing amount of forethought for a set of Goosebumps characters).

That night, Mitra is already tired of missing out on everything online. What can I say, the internet world travels fast. She's probably already missed three new memes! So she loads up the new phone, which somehow has all her old data on it as well. Boy, if that's not enough to rouse your suspicions, perhaps nothing will. It's got apps on it that aren't going live for months, a million giga-pixel camera, and even a sticker-set that includes Slappy and Curly (not that she recognises them). Seems like a super-desireable and not-at-all cursed phone!

And so the school year progresses. Mitra ends up in the same drama class as that girl she's crushing on, whose terrible parents have named Weather. The jerks who broke her old phone keep signing up for the computer lab time, and thus there's no time for Mitra's group to work on their project. As revenge, Mitra snaps a photo of them, applies a sickening green filter to it, and adds some puking emojis. Isn't it weird, then, when a few minutes later, the bullies all start throwing up on the keyboards? Ah, there we go. It's not modern Goosebumps without a bit of throwing up!

Mitra also finds another app, some sort of Cookie Clicker-like about scaly lizard-like people delivering seed-filled cookies to various real-world cities. Mitra wonders if they'll reach her own city if she plays enough. Gee, I wonder where that foreshadowing could be going. That night, at a sleepover with her friends, she has a dream about her terribly-named crush Weather. Weather turns into Slappy, who demands the phone and throws her off a cliff. The girls all wake with a start to find a mysterious note also demanding the phone on Mitra's bed--and that Flips' hair was cut off in her sleep.

Again, lenient on a first issue because it’s mostly gonna be setup. We’ll do an in-depth analysis at the end of the story, but this first issue is fine. Here’s Mitra, here’s her relationships and troubles (bullies, annoying brother, the pressure of being the first LGBT Goosebumps protagonist), and here’s the first instance of the spooky setups for later. But again, like I said in the intro, this is piling too much into one story. The “evil camera what takes pictures and edits reality around them” is a fine concept to be advanced to the smartphone era, as evidenced by the filters and stickers she uses. But you heap that on with Slappy invading her dreams, and this Calling All Creeps plot that also kicks in late... And these aren’t even the only references to other stories that’ll show up! It’s too much, and the ideas should’ve been pruned back a bit. We’ll see how well it can juggle these various subplots in the next issue (hint: not very well!)

#comics #reviews #Goosebumps #Goosebumps: Download and Die!#Taiblog

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khorren · 3 months

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Updated the character page again, sort of bringing things up to modern day / quick summary of such. Need to get a pic for Caoimhe, but should probably level her first :) https://khorren.tumblr.com/characters

Text below:

Aoife

7th child of the family

Guild Leader

Commander’s bodyguard + 2nd in command

Took the Commander job in Icebrood Saga

Writes stories, poems, and sings

Siobhan

Twinned with Roisin

Vigil Crusader

Smashy

Roisin

Twinned with Siobhan

Totally normal Priory member

Yep. Just a gal in the Priory

Nothing to be concerned about

Likes animals

Fia

Has different mother than the others

Has kinship with the Spirit of Darkness

Likes exploring caves

Vigil Crusader when it suits her

Isla

Fia’s daughter, grew up with dad

Doesn’t say much

Contract killer / sniper for the Whispers

Aisling

Adopted into the family

Sister to Saorise

Raven Shaman

Keeps Wolf close

Saoirse

Adopted into the family

Sister to Aisling

Research into Jormag went wrong

Slightly corrupted physically

Misses her dad :(

Astrid

Canthan heritage

Sister to Aesa

Knowledge nerd

Librarian

Aesa

Canthan heritage

Sister to Astrid

Jade Tech Engineer

Likes things that go boom

Saga

Former Wolf Shaman

Exiled from her village

Pretty bummed out about it

Trying to make things right

Kristin

Mountain life not her thing

Lives in the Heart of Maguuma

Frog dudes are besties

Orathali

Un-norny norn

Lives in Lion’s Arch

Joined the guild as administrator / book keeper

Decent healer. Crap fighter.

Serenity

“The Commander”. Now retired

Complicated family history

Lost her memories age six

Doesn’t know her name, so goes by many

Doesn’t like Ruby

Ridley

Found in the Mists. Spooky

Vigil Warmaster

Champion of Aurene since Serenity couldn’t bond with her

Ruby

Ooooooold

Like seriously. Made a deal with Grenth

Been manipulating the family lineage for decades

Still not a fan of Charr, with a few exceptions

Calixae

Ruby’s kid. Could come in handy

Whoops, has very little magic ability

Lives with dad in Ebonhawke

Involved with the Ebonhawke Peace Treaty

Prefers to fish rather than attend diplomatic meetings

Kensi

Old. Kind of been living in the Mists for a long time

Also made a deal with Grenth

Used to be a Warrior, used to be a Ritualist, now a Revenant.

Was a Reaper of Grenth for a while

Looks after dead family

Natalia

Sister to Sienna

Oops, killed a minister

Hidden in Priory for a while.

Sneaky sneaky

Learned more about shadow magic while hidden away

Fae

Natalia in disguise

Rainbows and unicorns!

Still serves queen and country despite everything

Sienna

Sister to Natalia

Got hidden away in the Whispers after Nat killed a dude

Paired with the Commander and follows her everywhere like an annoying shadow

Bit of a hardened badass which is a bit concerning considering she’s pretty young

Ordered to kill Commander if she works against the Whispers

Alexis

Twin sister to Maidson

Bandit/Thief living in Ebonhawke

Turns to Dwayna and reforms herself

Priory nerd, Friend to Zephyrites + Crystal Bloom

Has a totally normal nothing to worry about Priory girlfriend

Madison

Twin sister to Alexis

Bandit/Thief living in Ebonhawke

Turns to Balthazar and reforms herself

Loses her magic after the events of Path of Fire

Re-trains with fire within with Alexis’ help

General mercenary + helper in Elona

Kyra

Befriended the Ebonhawke girlies for bad times

Died in the Battle for Lion’s Arch (noob)

Got crazy dead people powers

Came back when the Commander snuck out of the Domain of the Lost

Made it everyone’s problem

Allianora

Kurzick family been living in Divinity’s Reach for a long-ass time

Likes Beetle Racing

Whispers gal

Cantha opened. Yay. Living there now

Xunlai

Is she real? Is she a weird Mists creature? Who knows

Gets stuff for the guild

Aloreca

Former pirate

Sister to Blixxie

Formed a krewe with Yhalea after abandoned in a mission

Yhalea

Former Inquest

Formed krewe with Aloreca after Inquest abandoned her

Whispers agent, but kind of forgot about it

Blixxie

Sister to Aloreca

Barely made it out of college

Kinda ditzy but good at running errands

Likes minipets

Viianna

Krewe member

Spends more time doing stuff for the guild

Liaison for Pact stuff since the others have the social graces of a shoe

Nokomai

Krewe member

Likes magitech, holo-tech, and jade tech

Magic gremlin. Could be part-chak

Makes minipets

Oxia

Leader of Ember Warband

Trying really really hard to keep the team functional

Got the team out of the Fire legion and into Blood

Oops, Blood leader went crazy. Allied with the guild.

Reyna

Member of Ember warband

Going a bit crazy learning her magic potential

Not a fan of authority. Will listen to Oxia though.

Prima

Member of Ember warband

Show off

Guns and Ghosts are cool

Amarilis

Mama Pale Tree wanted her to be Special

Amarilis didn’t want to be special

Has rocky relationship with Mama Tree and the Dream

Got rid of her Wyld Hunt

Had to kill her boyfriend. Big sad.

Lil grumpy goose for a while

Doing okay now

Khorren

Surprise! Mama tree tried to make another Special sylvari

Amarilis didn’t like this

Now mostly tends to Mama Tree and is a liaison to the Guild and the Pact in sylvari matters

Camdinn

Sneaky plant man

Kaidalis

Likes animals

Likes hitting things

Pact Commander who tends to animals used in warfare and keeps them happy

Teaghaann

Left the dream with Khorren

Looking for someone she met in the dream

Fights dragons to look for her

Listens to Mordremoth. Whoops.

Is saved by dream-friend! Yay! Happy gay adventures.

Brynndera

Helped Teaghaann and Khorren in the dream

Sleepy pod child, didn’t wake up til after Mordy’s defeat

Went looking for dream friends

Found Teaghaann, took her home and fed her soup til she was better

Nierithi

One of the first Sylvari to appear after Mama Tree got a bit better after Shadow of the Dragon attacked her

Dreamed of being a healer, wanted to do nothing but heal.

Came out wrong. Woops. Necromancer

Very sad about it. Never really went adventuring, stuck to the Grove and Caledon Forest

Barrier healing exists! She’s happy. Yay! Goes on Tyria adventures with her little minion friends and heals people with sand

Cosima

When Serenity died to Balthazar, so did Cosima. Serenity escaped the Domain of the Lost but Cosima lingered there a long time

Didn’t go back to her Tyria, but Serenity’s. Very confused.

Takes over role of Commander after helping save the world not get consumed by Void.

Caoimhe

One of Cosima’s allies in the other Tyria

Escaped to the Mists when Kralk started eating the world

Landed in a quaint little pirate town called Lion’s Arch. Uh…. That’s not good.

Aoife

Commander of a completely different non-connected Tyria.

Only has one elder sibling (brother) and no younger siblings

Studying under Havroun Wiebe to be the next Raven Havroun

Had a small corrupted by Jormag arc. Is kind of okay about it now. Kind of.

Sebastian

Brat

Keeps getting to places before Aoife much to her annoyance

Become besties during season 3 stuff

Absolutely no romantic connection to her, but the pair love each other like super platonic best friend soulmates.

#character babbles #gw2 #guild wars 2

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brucenorris007 · 2 years

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No More Magic

“I remember every second.”

She lied.

Rick downed another double and wondered how he’d been blindsided by it; he’d been with the 12th long enough to pick up on their methods, their approach to cases. He brought the perspective of the story, they looked at evidence and patterns.

What was his track record with women if not a pattern?

He knew Kate cared about him, in some capacity; caring made her the best cop in the precinct, Hell, in the whole city. And she hadn’t been totally innocent of flirting with him over the years, either. The evidence, as Beckett would’ve called it, at least showed some mutual attraction.

She wouldn’t have sought him out (after months of no contact, a vicious voice murmured) to bring him back if she didn’t care. And they hadn’t stopped flirting, they’d just eased off it a bit out of consideration for her trauma. In some ways, the past year had felt more intimate, at least to him. She might’ve even been wiling to sleep with him, provided they didn’t attach any meaning to it beyond the carnal.

She cared, but it wasn’t anything real. Nothing that would’ve made it last, made it beautiful.

Kate didn’t love him, and she wasn’t going to. Simple as that.

Rick knew he’d been here before, every time he made a conscious effort with someone. Ultimately, all his attempts at a happy ending blew up in his face for the same reason; Beckett said it herself, he was the only common point in his relationships. Everyone adored Richard Castle, the handsome face on the best-seller book sleeves.

Nobody wanted Rick.

He took another drink, sliding the glass to one side so he could hunch over the bar. He pressed the heel of his palms against his eyes; he’d fled to one of his backup taverns. Beckett didn’t go out alone, as far as he knew—then again, he used to think he knew a lot of things—but if she did, it’d be the Old Haunt. He’d wanted space, time to get out of his own head, through drowning in scotch if that was what it took. Some self-defeating tendency in his brain just wouldn’t let him escape.

He could only think how unfair it was that familiarity didn’t dull the sting of rejection; that failure still hurt so damn bad.

Kyra, Meredith, Gina... The sum of his parts just wasn’t enough to be anyone’s first choice.

He grumbled under his breath, pulling another shot.

‘This isn’t working.’

He needed a weekend away, a couple days out of the city to get his head on straight again. Los Angeles—no, he had memories there too—Chicago, then, or maybe Vegas for a distraction...

His phone, on silent for once, buzzed in his pocket. Against his better instinct, he pulled it out at the behest of some masochistic streak in him that hoped to see a message from Kate.

His daughter’s name came up instead.

Alexis, the center of his galaxy, the one woman in his life who preferred Rick—Dad—to Richard. His baby, about to graduate and head off to college in a scant few months.

She barely needed him anymore, and soon she’d be living under a roof he didn’t own.

That thought provided a brief moment of stone cold sobriety, and with it came clarity. It’d be so easy to meet someone superficial, to slip Richard Castle back on like a coat and just hide forever. Oh, it’d hurt, but he’d done it before; he’d changed though. Grown, he liked to think, because of the 12th, and he’d studied enough psychology during his career to recognize the temptation to regress.

Rick didn’t want that.

He closed out on his tab, put on his coat and left the bar. He shunned the idea of a cab or his town car and started walking home. He’d use the time to sober up; neither his mother nor Alexis deserved to suffer his poor company and his inebriation.

He’d take some time off the 12th—he wouldn’t quit yet, he liked doing good too much for that—spend whatever precious moments with his daughter remained before she moved out, and he’d write.

Hopefully in that time, he’d manage to tease out the distinction between resignation and acceptance. Once he had, he’d... move on.

#Castle #Rick Castle #Post-47 Seconds #AU #Rick doesn't backslide #Which might actually hurt worse #fanfic #thrown into the void #richard castle #Brucenorris007

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magnoliapip · 3 years

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The Storm Inside

Title : The Storm Inside

Book : Open Heart series (Choices - Pixelberry)

Description : Casey has been pushing everyone away and spiraling since the attack on the hospital and her loved ones are concerned.

Pairing : none established / ambiguous

Characters : Open Heart FMC (Casey Valentine), Sienna Trinh, Bryce Lahela, Jackie Varma, Rafael Aviero, Elijah Greene, Aurora Emery, Kyra Santana, Danny (mentioned), Bobby (mentioned)

Warnings : mention of death, mental health

Prompt : “What’s the weather outside your window doing right now?...”

Casey stared vacantly out the floor length windows into the night sky above Boston from her seat against them on the living room floor. The sky was as clear as could be, a rarity for the area, but in a city as populous as Boston seeing the stars was a gift they were never granted. She stretched out her cramping legs to a different position as she leaned her head and left shoulder against the cool glass.

She looked out of windows with alarming frequency now. She had never really done so before, preferring to always be doing other things. She’d always thought of herself as a social person who enjoyed others company, though she could be either out dancing in a packed club or relaxing away a quiet night in with the same level of enjoyment. Friends and loved ones was all she really needed.

The attack on Edenbrook had changed everything, down to her very bones.

Some days her mood was somber but calm, like a cloudy day. Those were her best days and the ones she liked best. The cloudy days could be darker with threat of rain or lighter with the sun just missing the opportunity to come out. It was the closest to her old self she could feel. Unfortunately for her, those days were not only fleeting and the least common, they were becoming a rarity.

More often, her moods were a range of levels of sadness. All the way from a misting drizzle, enough to coat everything in water and make the air humid, to a torrentially pouring rain. Buckets from heavens and flash floods. The only thing those floods never seemed to leave clean was herself.

Other times she was cold. So, so cold. The best of those days were accompanied with a blizzard. Cold, but manageable with a shovel. On the days where she left her heart covered in an inch thick layer of ice and brandished her words like weaponized icicles, frigid and sharp, the people around her knew to steer clear. She was getting a little too good and stabbing them where it hurt.

Her worst moods felt like she should alert the National Weather Service. Tornado warnings and hurricane evacuations were a courtesy she never felt up to extending, adding to her already astronomical guilt. Like a twister, she could feel so angry and out of control she would tear through everyone in her path with no regard for who or what was in it. She had hurt people, especially the ones she loved, deeply but couldn’t bring herself to stop. It was like watching her body act with someone else at the controls.

It was just one more thing about herself to hate lately, and it had a long line to stand in.

The weather in reality never matched what she felt inside. It fascinated and disgusted her in equal measure. It had been sunny (mostly) since the funeral. It was repulsive.

Bobby was dead. Danny was dead. Raf had almost died and would have god knew how many long term problems ahead because of the illness. She had nearly died. And the world just kept spinning.

Couldn’t they see? Couldn’t any of them see that she was stuck there in that room. That she had never recovered. That she couldn’t recover.

At first, when her friends had noticed her strange new affinity for gazing outside for hours every night, they tried to pull her away. Distract her with things like herbal teas, chocolate ice cream and support. They tried to shower her with her favorite pastimes from before. They tried dancing around the apartment to silly pop songs and playing video games with her. But they didn’t understand. And they didn’t stop.

So she bit them. Hard.

Now they left her alone.

She was an awful person. She shouldn’t have been allowed to live. Someone should have realized it at the hospital and just let her die.

She could feel the tears well up again, stinging her eyes as her inner clouds started to rain again. The night sky outside stayed perfectly cloudy.

It was going to be a long night.

Sienna stood around the corner, watching her best friend shatter silently, as she had done every night for over a month. She whispered to those behind her, “Don’t you all see? Nothing is helping and she’s getting worse. After the last time she panicked when I reached out, I thought I’d give her space. We all did. But it’s not working. Does anyone have any suggestions?”

The gathered assembly of those in the cramped penthouse hallway who loved a young doctor named Casey watched her crumble, weeping without making a sound...and no one said anything. Some of the smartest doctors in the nation, and no one had an answer.

Not Bryce, who stood off to the side watching the pain on the face of the first true friend he’d made while at Edenbrook. Someone who had looked past the brash, self-confidence he used as a shield. The first person he hadn’t been afraid of discovering his past.

Not Rafael, who stood at the back of the crowd, down the hall, not able to stand to look at the person who made him believe he was worth as much to her as these intelligent, talented and more well off friends of hers. Not as she could no longer see how much she was worth.

Not Jackie, who was used to facing her problems by cackling at them until they scurried off with tails between legs or tearing them out with her teeth. But this was a problem that required delicacy, the type she had been shown by the very woman who now needed it.

Not Ethan, who leaned against the wall as he saw his protégé, the first person he’d ever believed in this much, destroy herself. She had forced herself, her goodness, into his life and helped fix his hurt self. Now it was his turn and he, for the first time, found himself at a loss.

Not Aurora, her rival turned friend who showed her at her loneliest that having friend was worth something after all. Not Elijah, a beacon of positivity who felt entirely inadequate with this situation that left her emotionally impaired. Not Kyra, desperate to find some way to give Casey the support she had given. Not Sienna, whose heart broke as she watched her very best friend, her dolphin, her rock in many ways fall further and further into herself.

Each one of them loved her. Each one of them cared for her. Each of them had a purpose and a reason to be at Edenbrook, but Casey was the glue that had held them all together. That glue, their foundation, was compromised. This time, they needed to find a way to save her. This time, she couldn’t waltz her way into a miracle seemingly handed down by the divines themselves to fix the situation.

Giving voice to their silent thoughts, Bryce whispered softer than before, “She needs us. She has to know it. She has to know we’re here somewhere inside, but can’t ask. Won’t ask.”

“We’ve already lost so much because of the attack,” Sienna said quietly. “We can’t lose her now. I can’t.”

“None of us can,” Rafael replied softly.

There was practically a flashing beacon over Casey’s head, screaming help me please. It was long overdue for them to stop ignoring it. For a few pregnant minutes, they all looked around at each other and back to her. This mismatched band of misfits and nerds, bound this night by their affection for one single woman. They stared at each other, desperate for answers…

Until the one who loved her most went rigid. Then stepped toward the rest, speaking slowly.

“I...may have an idea.”

[BREAK]

Notes : I left the ending open for interpretation on purpose. This story is not intended to be expanded on or have a second part. Y’all can decide who the person who loves her most is (and if that person isn’t presently named in my story, you can put them there yourself :D)

Also, I want to extend a heartfelt thank you to the amazing writers I’ve talking to lately. Due to some truly awful comments and the way they were affecting me mentally, I recently purged all of my works but a few from fanfiction.net, AO3, and here on tumblr. Talking to, interacting with, and just seeing you lovelies in action has led me to believe I should start to do this again.

Huge shout out to @jerzwriter and @lovealexhunt for being the lovely souls they are. You may have no idea who I am, especially on this blog rather than my main, but I will never stop being grateful for the positivity you put into the world. Thank you.

#choices #open heart #choices open heart #open heart mc #casey valentine #ethan ramsey #bryce lahela #jackie varma #rafael aveiro #sienna trinh #elijah greene #aurora emery #kyra santana #magnoliapip

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reh-sa · 4 years

Photo

A Moonlit Bath - A Captive Princess AU

TW: Mentions of forced marriage, including vague mentions of possible marital r*pe // Very vague mentions of suicide

The most desirable bachelorette in all of Vere is called Laurene.

She might be known to be a sullen princess, but as the only living child of former king Aleron, her beauty is only matched by her dowry and the man who will marry her will inherit it all. So naturally, when her uncle made his vows to her, no one was under the illusion it was out of love. He is ruling as the king de facto since, locking his niece tightly away, as he can only keep his position and wealth as long as he owns her. Laurene has been living a very secluded life since, miserably being a prisoner in her own home.

It is not until Damia, crown princess of Akielos, visits the Veretian court that Laurene realizes how truly miserable she is. Damia is so strong and free, and she walks so confidently among her lines. Laurene can do nothing but watch her from the shadows with envy.

Meanwhile, Damia is surprised by how little glimpses she catches of the mysterious Veretian princess. Dead-set on wanting to meet a great beauty like hers, she starts searching Arles for the hidden princess...

...but it turns out to be an arduous task. Damia is told the princess Laurene is locking herself up in her room all day, mad with grief for still not being with child, but Damia believes it is a lie. One day, she passes the doctor Paschal on his way to the princess’ chambers, delivering a fertility potion that oddly looks and smells like utterly unfertile moon tea.

“Dana,” Nikandros sighs. “I think you are reading too much into this. Don’t take this the wrong way, but did it occur to you they might keep you away from her because you have a reputation as a wife-stealer? The king would not be the first man to find his lady in your bed. Some may take offense in that. I’d like to remind you of that incident with Kyra.”

“The bigger offense is that these lords do not know how to please their ladies,” Damia shrugs. And then, after a moment: “Who was Kyra again?”

But eventually, fortune favors Damia one starry night.

She fantasized countless times about meeting the princess on a balcony, perfumed with the scent of the night flowers welling up in the air. But it turns out Damia would encounter Laurene in a place she did not think of yet: the baths.

Since there were no lights ignited inside, Damia believed herself alone for a moment upon entering, but her eyes quickly adjust to the moonlight, drawn to the silver figure in the glowing pool. Princess Laurene is even more ethereal than the rumours, wet hair clinging to a well-balanced face, her milky body disappearing into the scented water. Droplets are dancing over her curves, more beautiful and shinier than pearls. For a moment, the image in front of Damia’s eyes is one of utter serenity. But as sweet as the Veretian princess looks, she is quick to reach for a dagger hidden inside her pool when she hears Damia approaching.

“Like what you see?” she purrs with the voice of a siren.

“Very much,” Damia answers truthfully, “though the dagger is quite worrisome. Since I heard of the case of Queen Yseult, I get nervous when I see a melancholy princess alone at night in the baths with a dagger.”

That earns her a sheepish look, and Laurene genuinely blushes.

“I…I did not want to…Queen Yseult did it because she was about to birth a bastard. I’m not with child.”

“So I have heard. And I would express my sympathies, princess, if not for the moon tea you have been drinking,” Damia says.

The dagger Laurene throws cuts through the serenity in a swift motion, faintly striking Damia’s cheek until it comes to a rest in the wall behind her.

“What do you want from me?!” Laurene snaps. “If it was just to see my tits, you have seen them now. Your goal is accomplished and you can gloriously return to your chambers. I ensure you, there is no need to spy on me further.”

“Oh no, actually…” Damia says while wiping the blood from her cheek, “I came to take a bath.”

And with that, she unbuckles the pin on her chiton, the fabric slipping to the ground and revealing her naked body all at once, muscle upon muscle. As Damia walks down the steps into the water, she faintly notices from the corner of her eye that Laurene is staring at her, until the princess seems to remember in some charming display of Veretian modesty to look away. Her blush spreads even further, and Damia cannot help the bit of amusement she is feeling at that. Without a blade in her hand, Laurene seems to be much more tame.

“Also,” Damia continues, the tension in her limbs unwinding in the warm water, “I hoped to make a friend here. I am tired of having conversations with old men all day, and I think your husband does not like me. It is good to talk to another woman for once. Can I use your soap? I’ve left mine in my chambers”. “Have it,” Laurene nags, throwing the little piece of soap at her, and quickly averting her eyes again.

Veretian soaps are wonderful, made from rich and creamy almond milk with a hint of cinnamon, and so very different from the Akielon olive soaps. Even somebody like Damia can appreciate these Veretian niceties. She starts to lather herself until she is covered in luxurious foam, and for a moment there is no sound but the soft rippling of water. Eventually, it is the Veretian princess who breaks the silence.

“I have never seen a woman as muscular as you. If you didn’t have the tits, I would almost believe it was an oxen intruding my baths. Are all Akielon women build like that?” she asks, quite brazen. Damia cannot help but to grin at her rudeness. She loves that the princess has a mouth on her.

“No...I can assure you we too have some sweet, fickle maidens. But I like the competition.”

“The competition in sports, or in conquering fickle maidens?” Laurene asks.

“Both, sometimes,” Damia smiles. “I think wrestling is wonderful. Sports, I mean. It is easy to learn but hard to master. You don’t even have to have my physique, mind you, that is merely a preference. In summer, we host tournaments with challengers from all over the world. There are even women from the warrior clans of the mountains of Vask coming. And some challengers give themselves the most pretentious nicknames, you cannot imagine. Especially the men! The celebrations go on and on for days, there are competitions at day and food and drink at night. And I haven’t even started to tell you about the Okton, where we compete with different weapons on horseback-”

“Are you good with weapons? What kind of horses?” Laurene blurts. She likes to hear stories from the world outside, Damia thinks to herself.

“I shall explain it to you. But tell me first, princess, why is it you never seem to see the daylight? You would think a man with a wife looking like that would parade her through the city as if she was an expensive steed. No offense. Yet, I did not see you at the banquet, nor in the gardens or at the dance. Why is that?”

“Maybe I am simply not fond of company, princess Damia,” Laurene answers in a cutting tone.

“Oh, please call me Dana.”

“I call you however it pleases me. And for that sake, I am not fond of intruders into my baths either.”

“My apologies, princess,” Damia says. “I was not aware you would bathe at such late hour. And your baths are so lovely, I wanted to see them for myself. Those patterns are simply dazzling. Yours have depictions of naked women on the walls. In the other baths I have seen, there were nothing but cocks.”

That earns her a giggle from Laurene, as much as she tries to keep her sullen facade up. The Veretian princess might look like a shy nymph, but seems to be quite naughty. Damia decides that she likes that.

She wonders if she can go one step further.

“Princess Laurene. After showing me your baths, I wondered if you would be willing to show me the markets in the city as well. I’d love to get my hands on these colorful Veretian sweets you make from syrup and rosewater. How about tomorrow? You could dress up as a peasant girl and sneak out. Nobody will notice.”

“Lovely. Like in a fairytale,” Laurene says. “If I could overcome the minor inconvenience of not being able to leave the palace by dressing up as a peasant girl, I would use it to flee the country, not to buy candy on a market.”

That has Damia alerted.

“So much for the dislike of company. You are even willing to flee your own country?” she asks. “You can get a divorce, you know. I believe nobody likes being married to their own uncle, especially one that never lets you outside, and I don’t see the political gain for you either. So what is with that match?”

Laurene sighs. “If I didn’t know my uncle hated women so much, especially those in power, I would believe he had sent you to spy on me. But I am inclined to believe you are here out of your own free will and your raging pheromones, so I’m telling you. Yes, I could get a divorce, but there is one problem. The Veretians fear nothing as great as bastardy. If I happened to be with child at the time of the divorce, the curse still applies. I need to proof to the court I am not pregnant by being physically and geographically distant from him for…”

“...nine months?”

“Exactly. You are learning the Veretian customs fast. He knows this of course, which is why he is locking me up. Silly, isn’t it? I need to stay miles and miles away from my lord husband before they believe me I am not pregnant, as if breathing the very same air as a man’s could leave me with child. And as long as the gods and the moon tea do not fail me, that shall not happen,” Laurene explains bitterly.

“That is terrible,” Damia replies in all honesty.

“Don’t look so sad. I had a brother once, and he was very brave. I am brave, too. And I know there will be an opening for me, one day. If a foreign princess can stroll into my baths just like that, I shall be able to do the same but in reverse.” And then, in a whisper: “I’ve been even studying the sword.”

“You have?”, Damia hums, smiling at the thought of the princess strapped in a Veretian breastplate. Laurene nods, so proud that she is not able to suppress a smile herself, soft crimson coloring her cheeks. It was very charming.

“But it is difficult. There is a man from my Princess’ Guard I’ve been seeing- ...oh, don’t make that face, not like that. He teaches me. But I can only meet him in secret, since I must not be with a man alone and there is no woman here to teach me. I’ve wondered…” Laurene says, abruptly breaking off.

When she doesn’t continue speaking, Damia asks: “You’ve wondered?”

“Ah-...No, it’s nothing,” she blurts.

Suddenly, Laurene rises, water dripping from her golden hair, a view that is dazzling Damia once again.

“I’m sorry, but I have to retreat to my chambers now. I’ve been here for so long, they will wonder where I’ve been,” the princess says.

Damia simply nods, watching as Laurene emerges from the water and towels herself down in a very practical way, without a hint of sensuality. Just as she was about to leave through the door, she turns one last time.

“Dana,” Laurene says, a little shy, and Damia is dizzily struck by an emotion she cannot quite identify upon hearing her nickname from Laurene’s lips.

“You were right. It was pleasant to talk to another woman for once.” And then, a little hesitant: “I like to take baths at midnight. Goodnight.”

Damia nods, smiling at the hint.

“Goodnight, princess. Sleep well.”

And with that, the ornamental doors close and Damia is left alone in the pool.

She closes her eyes and lets herself float freely in the water, the moonlight casting patterns on her body. The baths feel so vast and empty suddenly, as if the princess herself was the one whose presence had lightened them up. Now, she was nothing but a faint dream. But Damia will meet her again at the next moon. She had said so.

In the silence of the night, a memory surfaced to her mind of what Nikandros had said earlier to her.

She was not called Damia wife-stealer for no reason.

#captive prince #laurianos #damen #laurent #captive princess #fanart #digital #art #hello I am alive and gay #if you are asking why the water is glowing in the 2nd pic #it is clearly from love #I'm not a good writer but by the gods I tried my best #the pancake wife steelestingray corrected my shitty English

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terrm9 · 4 years

Text

CHAPTER 8 - Closure

Never in her life would Chiara expect to find herself getting ready for engagement party of Harper Emery, of all people. But alas, neither would she think that her biggest accessory to the said party would be a wooden cane and yet here she was.

She felt equally nervous and excited about both, the process of getting ready and also the fact that after almost three months, she was going to spend the whole evening in the company of so many people. Considering the fact that Decembers in Boston were disgustingly cold compared to those back in San Francisco, Chiara decided not to test her own ability to not to freeze in the tiny, back cut out navy blue dress she wanted to wear initially, instead reaching for tight, long sleeved emerald green ones. She also succumbed the idea of wearing a thigh high boots, since she still needed to use a cane in spite of walking steadily. She grabbed the pair of black Doc Martens instead, put her hair into purposefully messy bun and stepped into the living room, where Sienna and Jackie were already waiting for her.

“Look at yourself!” Sienna smiled widely when she first noticed her. “Ready to blow some minds tonight?”

“Please, Sienna,” Chiara laughed shortly. “It just felt nice to put some make up on after such long time.”

“Well, you definitely dress to impress, Chiaris,” Jackie nodded, grinning. “I personally prefer undressing to impress, however. Is Lahela joining us?”

Chiara shook her head, going through her purse once again, making sure she wasn’t forgetting anything and without looking up, she shrugged: “He decided to spend tonight with Keiki.”

It was only a half truth. He was spending his night with Keike, but also with Kyra, who wasn’t feeling very well and wouldn’t really enjoy an evening spent at a party. The something going on between Bryce and Kyra, whatever it was, wasn’t exactly top secret, but Chiara knew that Bryce hasn’t told anyone about them yet and she didn’t feel like she should just spill it now.

“Whatever. Aurora is already there and she just texted me saying that the place is full of old doctors and even older teachers, so we really need to hurry up and get drunk with her.”

Sienna grabbed her coat and looked at Chiara, her face concerned.

“Are you sure you want to take the T, Chiara? We can always call a cab.”

“Thanks, Si, but I really want to take the T. I am going back to work in two days, remember? I kinda have to handle the basic life at this point.”

It only took them about 20 minutes to get to the place where the party has been held and it was only when Chiara stepped through the main door that she fully realized that she would probably be meeting Ethan tonight.

Before she could drown herself in the sea of panic, nervousness, doubt and even sadness, she almost got crushed in a hug.

“Chiara, it’s so good to see you! We are all so, so happy that you are getting back!”

Chiara had to take two steps back and blink several times to match the face to the voice and the arms around her.

“Ines,” she smiled wholeheartedly. “I am the happy one. I missed you all. Yep, even you, Zaid,” she laughed as she noticed the older doctor to roll his eyes at the sentimental scene in front of him.

“I haven’t missed you at all, Ray,” he responded without missing a beat. “But I am glad to see that you are doing well.”

He took a sip of his drink and returned to the conversation he had with Ines before and as hard as he tried to look casual, Chiara knew very well that he just told her he actually did miss her.

Ethan Ramsey was sitting at the bar, watching the crowd of people that all came to celebrate the happy couple. He really wanted to go home already, not feeling any of the happy vibes reaching him. The picture of scotch, book and comfort of his bed, was enough for him to dream about leaving, however he couldn’t bring himself to actually do so. It wouldn’t be impolite towards Harper and her fiancé, as he already congratulated them and the speeches were told and nobody really cared about the grumpy doctor at the bar. He stayed because he believed he’d see Chiara somewhere among the crowd, he hoped to at least catch a glimpse of her. Two hours ago, Ethan spotted Dr. Varma dancing with Aurora Emery and so he expected to see Chiara nearby, but two long hours have passed and she was nowhere to be found.

Just as he started to concede the possibility of her not coming to the party, the familiar voice behind his back startled him. He turned around abruptly on his bar stool and suddenly found himself staring in those beautiful green eyes, the eyes that were wide with surprise as they stared back at him.

“Chia- um, Dr. Ray. Nice to see you,” he nodded towards her, remembering her wish to keep things professional.

“Hi, Ethan,” she smiled softly as she grabbed the glass of wine she ordered and his shoulders visibly relaxed when she called him by his first name.

Chiara wished to go home. As happy as she was for Dr. Emery and Mr. Banks, she felt her legs slightly trembling after the pressure she kept putting on them for the last three hours and her head was hurting. Clearly, she was overwhelmed by all the noises and fellow doctors wanting to talk to her and foreign teachers asking her how did she – so young and beautiful – ended up with a cane. All she dreamed about was her bed and medical journal and some lovely, slow, silent music in the background. Sienna promised to take her home anytime she wanted but seeing how much she was enjoying her time with Danny on the dance floor, Chiara couldn’t bring herself to ask her to leave. And so, she decided to at least order a glass of wine and just observe the others from a corner of the room.

The possibility of meeting Ethan at the bar hasn’t crossed her mind even once, when really it was the only place she could imagine him spending the night at.

He looked as handsome as ever and it took Chiara by surprise. She believed she could face him and maintain the cold distance she decided to put between them this time. She wasn’t prepared for him, dressed in black button up shirt and black pants, to look so unfairly awesome.

“You look like you are attending a funeral,” she blurted out, trying to save herself from telling him how attractive he looked.

“I hate parties almost equally much,” Ethan replied, observing her from head to toes, admiring her beauty. Her cheeks were blushed pink, few strands of her hair sticking out of her bun, the dress flattering both, her figure and her complexion.

You look so beautifully alive, Rookie.

“Why are you here then?”

“Because I respect Harper and, as much as it may surprise you, I am sincerely happy for her to find the right man. Well, I would definitely be happier if the amount of “darlings” and “sweethearts” in their speeches was radically decreased, but nonetheless, I am happy for them.”

Chiara, despite trying to keep her expression cool and distant, had to laugh at the dissatisfied expression on his face as he said the words darlings and sweethearts.

“You hate nicknames in relationship. Obviously.”

“Yes, obviously,” he repeated. “I mean, they have their names for a reason.”

“But you call me Rookie,” the pointed out, sipping slowly on her wine.

Ethan’s expression softened immediately, remembering the first time he called her so.

“I called you Rookie on your first day in hospital, because I didn’t know your real name back then. That’s the difference. These two, I mean, Harper and Thomas are pretty decent names, why can’t they just use them?”

Ignoring his rage about Harper and Thomas not using their actual names, Chiara couldn’t help but tease him.

“Yeah, you didn’t know my name back then, but now you do, and you still call me Rookie. So I guess the nicknames are not all that bad.”

His cheeks blushed in dark pink colour as he realized that she was indeed right. He gave her a nickname and they both grew so fond of it, that he didn’t want to stop calling her that.

Clearing his throat, Ethan decided to change the topic before they would tangle themselves too deep in the memories and therefore regrets.

“So, have have you been doing?”

Chiara wasn’t looking at him as she answered: “I like to think that I am doing fine”

“What exactly does that mean?”

She shrugged, not really wanting to elaborate. She only wanted to talk to him about work and the money she owed him, the concept of the “how-has-life-been-lately” talk not fitting into her plan.

“My back doesn’t hurt much anymore, only when I stand for too long or sleep on one side for too long. The legs are fine, except the stability in my left leg – I don’t trust myself with it enough, I guess. That’s why I’ll have to use this little friend of mine-” she chuckled as she lifted her wooden cane up, “-a little bit longer than I initially expected. Other than that, I am totally fine.”

“And the nightmares?” he couldn’t help but ask, noticing the dark circles under her eyes.

“Manageable,” Chiara responded way too quickly and before he could accuse her of lying, she changed the topic. “Honestly, I think I should be the one to ask you if you were okay. I mean, this is 16 ounces glass you are holding in your hand and it’s filled with pure liquid. So you’re either drinking insufferably huge amount of vodka or you are drinking water, which in your case, is just as weird. Are you sick or something?”

Ethan couldn’t suppress his laugh anymore, hearing Chiara like that reminding him all the conversations they had while she was in the hospital.

“It’s water, which, for the record, I drink quite often, since as a doctor I know how important it is. And as much as I’d prefer whiskey tonight, I came here by car. Therefore, I just have to stick with the water until I get home.”

Chiara laughed at the tone of his voice, indicating just how very much he already wished to be home with a glass of said whiskey in his hand.

It was Ethan’s turn to observe the crowd, not knowing if Chiara still insisted on keeping their distance or if he could finally talk to her about all those things he wanted to talk to her about.

Chiara’s whole chest was tight, and she felt her heart breaking all over again at the sight of him. She missed him so much and she wanted to forget all the hurt he caused her and all the trust issues she’s had, because this light conversation they just managed to have, that was her relationship with Ethan. Laughs and teasing and caring for each other. For him to hate sweet couple nicknames and for her to tease him about not drinking alcohol in the middle of the party, it simply felt so natural.

This is who we are. This is what we could be if only he could stop leaving me in the dark. If only I could trust him.

The tears threatened to fall out of her eyes and she was thankful for the fact that Ethan wasn’t looking at her. She quickly blinked them away and took a deep breath before speaking again.

“I was actually hoping to talk to you?”

Ethan’s head snapped back at her, his expression surprised and also somehow… pleased?

“You were?”

“I wanted to let you know that I am officially getting back to work on Monday. I missed a lot, so if you have some work for me to catch up, you can send it and I’ll get through everything until then.”

“Please, Chiara,” he smiled softly at her, falling for her even deeper at those words, seeing how dedicated she was. “You’ll catch up just fine on Monday. Enjoy these two free days, the work will wait for you.”

“As you wish,” she shrugged, knowing better than to try to persuade him. “I also wanted to let you know that I haven’t forgotten about the rents you paid for me and as soon as I am back to work, I will pay everything back. Just give me another week or so, please.”

Ethan didn’t want her to pay him back. He didn’t miss the money and the fact that he could do at least something for her made him feel good. But just as Chiara knew about his stubbornness, Ethan knew about hers and so he knew that when Chiara Ray made her mind about something, there was no point in persuading her otherwise.

He was about to nod when he noticed Chiara wincing in pain and gently massaging her lower back.

“So much about no back pains,” he frowned. “Don’t you want to go home?”

“I’d really like to, but I am forbidden to go home without Sienna’s supervision, and she is having such a great time. I don’t want to make her leave, so I guess I’ll just drink wine until she decides to go home.”

“I was about to leave. I can take you,” Ethan offered without a second of hesitation.

She knew she shouldn’t accept. She knew that it was her idea to keep a distance and that stepping into Ethan’s car would ruin her dedication to maintain it. But in this moment, she also knew they both deserved a closure, the talk about them. The talk where both sides could talk and explain.

She hoped for them to be best friends again.

Chiara missed Ethan.

“Okay,” she nodded. “Let me just text Sienna. You can go first and I’ll follow you in a few minutes, so that people don’t talk about us leaving together.”

“Please,” he laughed loudly, for the first time in the evening. “People already are talking about us.”

“What?” she gasped, eyes wide with shock.

“I think it started at the softball game, when I’ve gotten a little bit too protective over you. That and the fact that not once in my eleven years at Edenbrook I attended a softball game. Until you asked me to play,” he chuckled, but after a brief moment his expression hardened. “And well, my, uh… breakdown in the E.R. after your accident, my visits by your bedside, I guess all of those things sparked the rumors.”

Not sure if she felt more amused or embarrassed, Chiara sent a quick text to Sienna, explaining that Dr. Terminator would give her a ride home and after putting her phone back to the purse, she grinned at Ethan: “Let’s give them something fresh then, shall we?”

Ethan put his hand at her lower back lightly and with a smug smile on his face lead her out of the party neither of them wanted to attend in the first place.

The car ride was peaceful, Boston streets unusually quiet and empty, fresh snow reflecting the streetlights, making the street look brighter than it really was.

Ethan was being extremely careful to make sure the ride was smooth, not braking abruptly, not taking sharp turns. As okay as Chiara pretended to be, he was a doctor after all, and he knew that dealing with trauma came in waves. That anything could trigger a bad memory back.

His thoughts were disturbed by a sudden cry coming from Chiara’s mouth.

“Ethan, stop!”

He slammed the brakes, sighing with relief when he made sure that there was no car following them, as his sudden braking would definitely cause a crash. He turned to Chiara startled and despite wanting to respect her wishes, he reached for her hand.

“What is it, Chiara?”

“I am sorry,” she whispered, her voice shaking. “I just felt like the opposite car was about to crash into us.”

At this point, her whole body was trembling, her breaths short and shallow. She was at the beginning of hyperventilation, her face ghostly pale.

“Just let me park and we can step out of the car, okay? We’ll catch some fresh air and everything will be alright,” Ethan squeezed her hand and slowly pulled out, parking the car by the carb as soon as he could. Turning the engine off, his whole figure turned towards Chiara.

“You haven’t been in car since the accident?”

After taking a few deep breaths to steady her senses, Chiara look at Ethan and with a weak voice, she replied: “Only once, when Bryce drove me home from the hospital. But that was at the noon and I could see the whole car on the opposite side of road. I could see that the car was in its own lane, I could even see the driver. But now it’s night and it’s dark and the only thing I see are the two front lights getting closer and closer and…” she trailed off, not able to finish the sentence as her lower lip was trembling again.

Ethan cupped her cheeks with his hands and with voice so soft it broke her heart, he whispered: “It’s okay, Rookie. You are okay, you are safe. We don’t have to continue, we can just sit in the car until you feel better, okay?”

She nodded, leaning into his touch as she closed her eyes. The comfortable silence in the car was only disturbed by occasional car driving by them and for the first time in almost two weeks, Chiara felt safe.

“I guess we should talk,” she muttered into his hand.

“About work? Because as I said, there’s no need-“

“About us,” she cut him off, straightening on her seat.

Ethan raised his eyebrows in surprise, but soon his expression was utterly vulnerable.

“I would like that very much. Do you want to talk here in the car? Or at your place? Of course we could go to my place, as it provides more privacy, but I am fine with whatever you want. As long as you feel comfortable,” he felt the hotness creeping on his neck, realizing very well how nervous he must’ve sounded.

“Your place sounds fine,” Chiara smiled at him, amused as she, too, realized just how nervous he suddenly was.

As they stepped into Ethan’s apartment, the first thing he made sure of was that Chiara was sitting comfortably on his couch.

“Can I offer you something to drink?” he asked, making his way to the kitchen.

“I’ll have whatever you are having.”

“Uhm, I am not going to have anything, so I recommend you to change your mind.”

“You came home to have scotch.”

“Yes, but that was before I knew that you would join me. I’ll be taking you back home,” he shrugged, pouring himself another glass of water.

“I’ll just take a cab,” she rolled her eyes. “Get us both some good scotch, please.”

“There’s no way I am letting you take a cab,” he shook his head. “I promised you a drive home and I intend to give you that.”

Chiara wanted to fight him, to tell him that she was a big girl and didn’t need to be supervised all the time, but she came here to talk about them and so she let the topic of whiskey go.

“I think it’s rather fair to both of us to know where we stand, now that I’ll be back to work and things will go back to normal.”

Ethan joined her on the couch, his expression thoughtful as he kept looking not at her, rather at the coffee table. He nodded slowly and even though he realized that it was not a gentleman thing to do, he started to speak before she could say anything else.

“I am sorry, Chiara. If I am to tell you only one thing tonight, I want you to know, most of all, that I am truly and infinitely sorry for everything I’ve ever put you through. I am sorry for leaving you when you most needed me, for running away when things got hard, for pushing you away only to pull you closer. I now see just how huge coward, how huge asshole I’ve been all that time. And I know very well that one damn ‘sorry’ doesn’t make up for everything I’ve caused you to feel. But still, I am sorry.”

“You weren’t all that bad, you know,” she grinned. “I have forgiven you a long time ago, Ethan. I don’t hate you, obviously. I am not even angry. And I missed you. I mean, there’s no better target of my teasing than you, old man. What we had, while I was in the hospital, it was more than I’ve ever imagined we could be. Being close friends with internal jokes and deep talks, I miss that, Ethan, but I am so afraid to trust you, because every time things got actually good between us, you’d take a step back. So I need you to tell me what you want and once it’s said Ethan, I need you to stick to your words. No matter what.”

Ethan stood up and started to pace nervously around the living room, preparing himself to tell Chiara everything he wanted to tell her for such a long time.

“Not so long ago I told you that there was no such a thing as unconditional love or soul mates. That I am not capable of love, because I don’t believe in it in the first place. But sweet Lord, seeing you in the I.C.U. after the accident, believing that I would never see your eyes open, that I would never hear you laugh again, it made me think. And as terrible as I am at expressing my emotions and my feelings, I no longer feel that way. I know now that whatever it is that you feel for me, it’s unconditional. It must be, because otherwise you would just give up on me already. And I know that what I feel for you, whatever it is, is unconditional too.”

He took a deep breath and sat back down on the couch next to her, taking her hand into his.

“For a long time I believed that the thing I wanted the most was to have you all to myself. To selfishly call you mine. But now I know that is actually not what I want the most.”

“Oh?” she interrupted him for the first time, her expression visibly pained.

“What I want more than anything in this world is for you to be happy. You deserve the whole world Chiara and you deserve to be happy and nothing else but happy. And I know myself. I am broken man, destroyed one. Cynic. Asshole. Unable to express what he feels, enable to show affection. No matter how much I care for you, there are still men out there, that would be so much better at expressing it. Even though they wouldn’t care as much as I do, they would show you just how much they do. If we were together, we would have to keep our relationship a secret. I wouldn’t be able to take you out for a dinner, to accompany you to the parties as your plus one. You deserve so much better than me, Chiara, and I want you to have the best.”

There was a long pause after that. Chiara was staring at the wall, obviously way too deep in her thoughts, considering everything Ethan has just said. Her brows were furrowed, her fingers playing with the hem of her dress without her mind actually realizing so.

After what felt like forever, she turned to Ethan and looked straight into his eyes.

“You don’t get to decide what’s best for me, Ethan. As noble as it is, for you to want me to be happy even if it’s with someone else, if you selfishly want me all for yourself, just say it, damnit. I can decide if that’s what’s best for me.”

The fire in her eyes as she looked at him made Ethan’s throat dry. Before he could compose any meaningful sentence, Chiara added: “But remember, I need you to stand by what you say. I need you to keep your words this time, Ramsey.”

“Well, then I selfishly want you all for myself, Rookie,” he smiled at her, the fact that she didn’t retreat the hand he was holding giving him a tiny bit of hope. “And I wish I could be the one to make you happy.”

“You mean it?”

She wanted to come with a comeback, with response that would break this tense, vulnerable, raw atmosphere, yet she needed him to ensure her that he wouldn’t change his mind in the morning.

“I mean it. With all my heart, if there’s something of it left. I mean it with my whole being, Chiara. If you ever decide to give me, give us, a chance, I promise not to give up on us, not to leave, not to push you back. I can't promise you happily ever after and I can't promise to never disappoint you again, because I likely will disappoint you again. However, I can promise to learn how to change. I promise to work on the relationship harder than I’ve ever worked on my degree.”

They both laughed, knowing that such promise meant more than any other could mean.

“Well, in that case, it’s a good thing that I selfishly want you all to myself too, Dr. Ramsey,” her words almost a whisper as she let them out.

For the first time ever, their lips met in a kiss that didn’t taste like regrets, doubts and sorrow.

For the first time ever they kissed with hope and promises and happiness.

#open heart #open heart choices #open heart fanfiction #ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey x mc #pixelberry #play choices #sienna trinh

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elliepassmore · 3 years

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A War of Swallowed Stars review

5/5 stars Recommended for people who like: multiple POVs, sci-fi, space operas, morally gray characters, mythology, LGBTQ+ characters, trilogies Note: there will be spoilers for previous Celestial Trilogy books in this review.

A Spark of White Fire review

A House of Rage and Sorrow review

Steel and Flowers review

TW: ableism I was so nervous coming into this one because 1) we still hadn't seen all of the curses come to fruition yet, and 2) I was expecting at least one character to die in the book. While both of these were valid things to be nervous about, I'm actually pleased with how both played out and Mandanna even managed to surprise me with 1) (okay, and admittedly in some areas of 2) as well). I feel in some ways this book was darker than the other two, which is saying something because House, especially at the end, was pretty dark. However, in this one our favorite cast of characters is facing problems from multiple sources, not least of which include Alexi and Sorsha. On top of that, Esmae, Amba, and Titania have to deal with the shit that went down at the end of House, so the three of them in particular are in some rough spaces in the book. This is a bit of a tangent, but the 'bowstring thumb' thing confused me a lot until I got about 1/2-2/3 way through the book. I've done archery before, but I've only learned Western techniques and so am not super familiar with the way other cultures do it. I assumed Esmae and co. were knocking their arrows using their index and middle fingers and drawing using those (or those + ring finger)...which would mean the thumb plays no part in knocking, drawing, or shooting. It wasn't until someone showed Esmae how to shoot the way I described above where it clicked that they were using a totally different method (and then I looked up traditional Indian archery techniques and.....uh.....yeah, you need a thumb for that). I was glad that got an additional explanation in this book, though, because I think I might've remained lost (or eventually remembered the internet exists and looked it up). Esmae and Alexi got to talk a bit more in this one than they did in the last one, which I think was good, though admittedly it could've been better. Esmae really gets a chance to let loose on some of the things she thinks about him, particularly his desire to be seen as the 'golden boy' as well as his seeming inability to contradict/think outside of their mother. Frankly, she's right and I don't think Alexi ever really gets it (which is kind of funny considering both Leila Saka and Kyra said something similar to him). I thought their dynamic was interesting in this one and it kind of came full-circle in a way. Esmae still wants Alexi destroyed, but she also still wants peace (or at least doesn't want Kali and its people hurt/destroyed), whereas Alexi still isn't willing to settle for a compr0mise. I will say, this might be one of the few books where I think the author actually could've written more and the book would not have suffered. The way things are resolved in the end re: the crown, Kali, and Esmae and Alexi could have, I think, used a bit more page time to explore. There is an epilogue-esque kind of ending that takes place months later, but it doesn't really focus on those things and I do wish we'd gotten to see more of that. Perhaps another short story at some point in the future? Onto individual character analyses, Esmae is, as mentioned, not really in a great place when the book opens (and I don't just mean physically). She does initially rebound fairly quickly, but everything that's been happening over the past three books does collapse back on her and we get to see the psychological toll that it's taken. Also as mentioned, she still wants to destroy Alexi, but she also takes a moment to reassess things and is willing to try something other than all-out war if possible. Esmae also has to struggle with having lose her 'bowstring thumb' and re-learning how to do certain things with a prosthetic. The process frustrates her and we do get a sense of her loss, but she's also willing to train and work to get to a place where she can still fight, whether it's with her left hand or a different way of using her right. Esmae develops as a character throughout each book and that development is really seen here as she starts to grow away from the solely revenge-driven person she had been in House. Titania gets a POV again in this book and also gets more chapters from her POV. As a ship it's hard to remember how young she is, but she really is just a child still and has seen so much. She yearns to be human, but also knows she's useful as a ship and wants to be able to help Esmae and Max and everyone with the coming war. Despite not being happy with what happened at Arcadia at the end of the last book, Titania seemed to have used Esmae's disappearance as a way to distract herself/rebound and for most of the book she's the same bubbly Titania we've always known. Things do change, as they must, but Titania remains a big part of the story. Radha also gets a POV, which was somewhat surprising as I'd been expecting Sybilla to be a POV character. However, Radha is able to give insight into events and people that the other characters cannot. For instance, at the end of the last book, Radha went back to Wychstar, and so we get to see what's going on there as well as some of the other political events that she's privvy to but that other characters either aren't or don't bother with. I liked seeing inside her head because she is a nice person and she is loyal to Esmae and her new friends on Kali, but also has moments when she doubts herself. Her interactions with Sybilla are fun to read since they have very different dispositions and Radha knows exactly how to tongue-tie Sybilla. Sybilla, while still thorny, lets herself show more emotion in this one. She and Esmae's friendship is perfect and Sybilla offers a good amount of gentleness and hard truths. I feel like we see less of her in this book, though, and I would have liked to see more. I enjoyed reading as she became more open to other people and expressed that softer side of herself. Max underwent some development as well, and while he still prefers peace, we do get to see him in battle a little. Like with Sybilla, I wish we saw more of him in this book, but at least the parts that we do see are rich in content and characterization. I've always appreciated his general demeanor when it comes to Esmae and continue to do so in this book. War is, obviously, not what he wanted, but he's still willing to support whatever she decides. It's also fun to see him and Amba interact more since she's always around now. Alexi is, understandably, frustrating. I mentioned above that he very much cares what others think and that he listens a little too much to Kyra. He's also generally unwilling to listen to anyone else. He does do some good things in the book, don't get me wrong, but he does a lot in this book and misunderstands a lot. I suppose we could say the same of Esmae, but, obviously, we're getting things from Emsae and her friends' POVs, so Esmae's faults seem/feel different than Alexi's. (I should note, it is mostly (entirely?) Alexi and his side of things that engage in the ableism mentioned above) Bear is still pretty much the same he's been in the last two books. He's tied between loyalty to Alexi and loyalty to Esmae. He loves them both and doesn't want either of them fighting and, I think, could himself make a pretty good negotiator/peacemaker given the time and page space. He matters a lot to Alexi and Esmae, which is another reason I think he could've mended things, but he has even less page time here than in House so that isn't his role. Also, while he is stuck in the middle of the two sides, he does consistently chose Alexi, even if he does help Esmae at times. Thus, while he is caught between the two and perhaps could have helped stopped the war, he is also too strongly on Alexi's side for much of his Alexi-Esmae-get-along desires to work out. Sorsha can't really be discussed without spoilery things being revealed. I did like the idea of a space dragon who eats stars, so that was pretty cool. Overall, I did like the book and thought that it was a nice, fitting conclusion to the trilogy. I do wish it had been a bit longer so that we could get more page time with some of the characters, have a bit longer build up to the climax, and then see how things played out a little more after things got (mostly) resolved.

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witchoflegends · 3 years

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I wanted to write down some of my thoughts regarding the maidens and the relics. More specifically, the correlation between them and the relics they’re tasked to protect in regards to how I play the original maidens.

I fully believe that Oz had a reason to pair each maiden with their relic. Everything he does is too thought out for him to just pick a random maiden to go with a random relic. I also believe he used his daughters’ personalities to at least partly determine which maiden to connect to which relic. So he either chose the maiden that would most represent the relic in question, or would be least likely to be suspected for each relic. Personally, I think it’s the latter. Mainly due to my own characterization of the original maidens, but still.

So, let’s start with Kyra. She is the original Summer Maiden, who is tasked to protect the sword aka the Relic of Destruction. I wanted to start with her, cause I find hers the most interesting. The way I write Kyra, she is the most interested in learning and innovation out of the sisters. Which is ironic that she would be protecting the Relic of Destruction. Then again, it makes a lot of sense. Kyra would be the least likely out of her and her sisters to want to use the relic. She’s all about creating, and bringing new things into the world. So there’s no reason she would want to open the vault and use that relic.

Then we have Maple, the Fall Maiden. The one tasked with protecting the crown, or the Relic of Choice. This relic works by giving the user random visions of the future. Now, fall is arguably the season of change. So, one would think that it would be perfect for the Fall Maiden to be given the Relic of Choice. That they’d want to use it. However, for change to really take root, you do have to be focused on what you’re doing in the present, and Maple is very much a person that is grounded in the present. Her past motivates her, but she cares the most about the here and now. So she’s not going to want to use the relic, because there would be no point to it for her.

Then there’s Dawn. The Spring Maiden that protects the lamp, aka the Relic of Knowledge. Now, Dawn is the kind of person that has this gentle kind of wisdom. She’s not looking for answers that she herself cannot find. Dawn is the type of person that learns from the world around her and her own experiences. Nothing else. So she has no need or want for the Relic of Knowledge. It’s just not something she cares about.

Lastly, we come to Eira. The Winter Maiden and the staff, or Relic of Creation. As a person, Eira prefers to work with things that already exist. She uses the world around her to her advantage. Taking in all the little details and using them how she needs. She’s not interested in creating new things when she feels like she already has all that she would need in any given situation. So the Relic of Creation doesn’t really concern her.

So, this is kind of my long winded way of explaining how, with my interpretation of the four original maidens, Oz chose their roles specifically. Maybe a part of him hoped that his daughters’ personalities would rub off on those that held the powers. Or maybe that the powers would search out like minded souls. So he wanted to make sure that as much was accounted for as possible.

Which is why he connected the maidens to the relics by using his daughters’ personalities. As well as why he chose to pair them up in the way he did. If you pair them up with their opposite, then they’re less likely to be used by the only people that can get to them. Meaning that they’re safer, and more protected.

It would also make sense that he would thing this way when initially locking up the relics and first discovering the maiden powers. Since even he doesn’t fully understand how they work. So he was just working with what little knowledge he had. Which was based on his daughters. The girls that originally held these powers.

#headcanon: original maidens #headcanon: eira #headcanon: maple #headcanon: kyra #headcanon: dawn

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d3-iseefire · 4 years

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Little Swan Lost Chapter 35

Note: New Chapta! :D Also, awesome fan art made by the amazingly talented @metrosideros-excelsa! Check it out here: https://d3-iseefire.tumblr.com/post/617297103876718592/this-is-so-awesome-i-love-it-thank-you

Bilba sat nervously in a chair that probably cost more than her apartment in Shire and wondered if perhaps she should have chosen to put up with Kyra after all.

When Ori had invited her to breakfast, Bilba had envisioned a quaint little café, like the ones she, Rosie and Bofur had often frequented back in Shire. Small, cozy places with worn vinyl seats and round tables. Tiny windows that let in the light and sounds of birds chirping from outside and muted the quiet clink of silverware and conversation from inside.

King’s Landing was the exact opposite of that.

The restaurant was a sleek, multi-level building located on a rocky plot of land overlooking the ocean. The inside was dark and dimly lit so that it felt as if she’d stepped from the brightness of morning to the gloom of twilight. Circular, leather couches sat around what looked like marble tables and a live violinist paid quietly from a dais in the back corner.

Having never been before, Bilba had asked Cici to pick out her clothing. She’d felt worried she’d be overdressed in the resulting dress and heels but, now that she was here, she was mildly concerned she was underdressed.

Not that she would have fit in either way.

It hadn’t really occurred to her that going to breakfast would be the first time she’d officially appeared in public. Or that the eyes of every noble would be on them as they were led through the dining room to a private room.

If it weren’t for that private room, Bilba was certain she’d have turned around and walked right back out. There was simply no way she’d have been able to sit for any length of time with the weight of all those judgmental eyes on her.

The room itself was as larger than most of those cafes back home with black paneled walls, a black marble table and matching carpet. The only light came from the far wall, which was comprised entirely of glass from floor to ceiling and presented a truly amazing view of the ocean down below.

“So,” Ori’s voice broke into her musings, “what do you think?”

Bilba jumped pulled her gaze away from the window. A plate she hadn’t noticed being brought in sat before her and her stomach rumbled at the sight of the piles of food on it. At least this wasn’t one of those restaurants where they gave you a splash on the plate and called it a meal. “It’s very nice,” she said non-committedly, as she picked up her fork.

She frowned toward the door. Gareth was stationed just outside it, while Cerys stood inside. It felt awkward to be eating while the other woman just watched, but she’d already asked Cerys to join them and the offer politely declined.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Ori asked. “We could have gone somewhere else if you preferred. I just thought – here is already vetted, you know? Anywhere else we’d have needed to wait for security checks, and that would take time and ---”

“And you were helping me avoid Kyra for a day,” Bilba broke in with a small smile. “I know. I just didn’t realize it would be such a—” she waved her hand as she searched for the right word. “Spectacle,” she finished finally.

That was exactly the word for it. They’d have to take a convoy, with multiple cars and she didn’t even know how many guards. Someone had clearly called ahead to let the restaurant know they were coming, and a veritable red carpet had been laid out with the owner and chef ready to greet her and escort her inside.

No one had been unkind, but the entire thing had left her stomach tied in knots. There was simply no way it had gone unnoticed. She had zero doubt that every news organization in town had been alerted to the fact she’d left the palace and the thought of having to face them when she left—

“You made a pretty big step up in rank,” Ori was saying. “And Erebor is a lot larger than Shire. How many guards did you usually have in Shire? Like ten?”

“None,” Bilba said without thinking.

Ori’s mouth literally gaped, and she dropped her fork with a clatter. At the door, Cerys shifted, but said nothing. “None?” Ori repeated, dumbfounded. “How could you have had none?”

Bilba shrugged. “I had a large family, and most of them lived in the capital. I was about as far from there as you could get. Most days, I’m sure there were few who even remembered I existed.”

“You didn’t visit?” Ori asked.

Bilba tried not to flinch. “Sometimes.”

She frowned and tried to focus on her food and not the dozens of reporters probably gathering outside, or the fact that she’d have to deal with watching Kyra fawn over Thorin at meals starting tomorrow.

Why had she thought leaving her room was such a great idea again? She’d love to just go for a walk, maybe visit Bombur and apologize for missing her first day of work, or perhaps see if she could find the college or even the ballet studio she knew existed somewhere in the town.

In Shire, she could have just done it. Here, it would be a whole thing, and even then she probably would have to check with Soren over her schedule and whatever it was she was expected to do for the day.

She absently chewed on her lower lip. She’d never actually promised Thorin she wouldn’t sneak out again, just that she’d alert her security team before leaving. Perhaps if she could think of a way around that...

Or, a petty part of her butted in, she could also tell Thorin she’d give up sneaking out if he gave up prancing about with his mistress all the damn time. He’d probably personally escort her through the passageway on the beach if she were to do that.

Maybe she should.

The second the thought crossed her mind a sour feeling settled over her. Handing him off to Kyra…grated. Not because she wanted him, but just because of how much their relationship was flaunted. An outsider might think Kyra was still his fiancé the way the two behaved and the thought of sitting back and behaving like everything was fine while she was publicly cuckolded was just…degrading.

Ori asked her a question, and Bilba tried to pay attention. She soon became engrossed in conversation with the other woman but stayed careful about what she said. No doubt every word she spoke would be reported to Ori’s husband and brother and the last thing she needed was either of them taking more than a passing interest in her.

The food was gone before she knew it and, after another half hour or so of idle talk, it was time to leave.

Cerys opened the door to the quiet sounds of the other patrons and Bilba tried her best not to panic. Already, she could tell there were far more people out there than when they’d first come in and she wasn’t the least bit surprise to catch a glimpse of reporters gathered in the parking lot past the plate glass front windows.

You’re a princess, she reminded herself firmly. It was imperative she make a good impression, and not just because of her rank or marriage to the crown prince. It was because every time she turned on the blasted TV it was to hear herself being compared to Kyra. She was always found grossly wanting. Every impropriety and misstep the other woman took was glossed over while Bilba was vilified for so much as breathing.

And that was before she had made any official, public appearances. The last thing she needed now was for them to see her falter. It would just prove the slander and lies in their eyes and pour fuel on a fire that seemed destined to burn forever.

Head high, she reminded herself as they headed out of the private room, back straight. Eyes ahead, pleasant expression. She had to tread the fine line between respecting her rank without appearing haughty or arrogant.

She was proud of herself. She didn’t start shaking until they had nearly reached the exit. When the sheer number of reporters in the parking lot became obvious, along with their cameras and other equipment. Several of the male reporters looked quite large and she mentally cringed at the thought of one or more of them grabbing her and trying to drag her over for questions. It had happened more than once in Shire, and the resulting bruises had taken days to fade.

“Your Highness,” Gareth spoke softly as they stopped just before the doors. “Are you all right?”

“Fine,” Bilba said, voice shorter than she’d intended. She really wished everyone would stop asking her that. She could see the limo she’d ridden in parked at the curb just a few feet away but it felt like miles. There were guards that had closed around her the second she’d left the private room, and still more outside, but there’d been guards like that in Shire too, hadn’t there?

Everywhere she’d gone while in the capital her grandfather had made a show of surrounding her with guards. Guards who’d done precisely nothing to keep her safe. If anything, experience had told her to be more afraid of them than of anyone they might have hypothetically protected her from.

Gareth pushed the door open and an involuntary, strangled noise escaped Bilba’s throat. Heat washed over her, and black spots danced in her vision. She felt more than saw Ori next to her, Cerys behind them and Gareth in front. He stepped out and Bilba physically forced her feet to follow.

She could do this. She’d been through worse, much, much worse, and she’d never had a choice on whether or not she wanted to go through it. There was never any choice when her grandfather was involved.

Or, at least, there was never any good choice. Go forward or face the wrath of her grandfather for defying him.

Voices instantly assailed her, so fast she could barely make out the questions, though the ones she could understand seemed to follow a familiar theme.

“Your Highness! How do you feel about the prince having to break his engagement to marry you?”

“Your Highness! Is it true you have a volatile temper?”

“Your Highness! Did you plan this to force the prince to marry you?”

The car appeared in front of her, door already open. Bilba stopped in surprise at having reached it so soon. Past the car, the reporters were still shouting questions at her, but none of them were attempting to surge past the line of guards standing between them and her.

How very odd.

“Your Highness?” Gareth’s voice made her jump. She gave him a shaky smile and slid into the car. As she settled into the leather, she felt the same mixture of relief and trepidation she always did. Limos had always been a blessing and a curse. The blessing was that the windows were tinted while the curse…was that the windows were tinted.

Ori got in, and Bilba was surprised to see her face was pale. Before she could react, the other woman leaned forward and grabbed her hands. “I’m so sorry! I never thought about reporters showing up!”

“It’s okay,” Bilba said with a tight smile. Gareth and Cerys slid in and the door shut, cutting off the shouts and rapid-fire clicks of cameras. She tried not to imagine what the stories would be. Probably something like “Princess Flaunts New Position” or else perhaps a montage of Kyra going to the same restaurant and a comparison of how she’d somehow pulled off breakfast flawlessly while Bilba had failed on every level.

The car pulled onto the street, more cars in front of and behind it, and left the reporters behind to write their stories, and spin them in whatever way they saw fit.

“What are your plans for the rest of the day?” Ori asked.

“I don’t know.” Bilba raised her head from where she’d dropped it against the seat back. “Soren has my schedule, but I have no idea what’s on it.”

“Probably not much,” Ori said. “They’ll probably ease you into things at first.”

Bilba made a non-committal noise, and idly stared out the window as they drove back to the palace. There were people on the sidewalk, going to breakfast, wandering in and out of shops, or hurrying on their way to work. A few stopped to watch as the limos raced past before returning to their routines.

None of them had to worry about reporters, nasty rumors, unwanted husbands or ever-present exes. Once, she’d have been among them, hurrying on her way to grab a morning cup of coffee before heading to her first class of the day. Or maybe she’d be window shopping with Rosie or walking with Bofur back to the studio for an early morning rehearsal.

She might have stopped for a moment to watch as the limos rushed past, but she wouldn’t have wondered about them. Wouldn’t have fantasized about who was inside or what their lives were like. That had been Rosie, and Bilba had done her best not to disillusion the other girl.

Bilba had no need to fantasize. She’d already known what it was like and had been more than happy to have the life she’d led.

More than happy…

Ahead of them, the first limos pulled past the gates leading onto the palace grounds. Bilba watched through the windshield as they pulled up the long, winding drive toward the palace. A fairy tale castle to many a young girl no doubt. Her mind went to little Wynne and she bit back a smile. Moving into the palace must be like a dream come true for her.

Her grandfather’s scheming had brought happiness to one person at least.

The car slid to a smooth stop and one of the guards opened her door. She allowed him to help her out and cast a regretful glance toward the gardens and, further down, the now closed gates leading out to the rest of the city.

Ori came up beside her while Cerys and Gareth took up position behind her.

To her surprise, Soren was waiting for her just past the entrance.

“Your Highness,” he said with a bow. “King Thrain requests your presence immediately. I’ve been sent to escort you to him.”

All the air left Bilba’s body.

“Your Highness,” a cold voice slithered in her mind. “Your grandfather requests your presence, at once.”

“I’ll go with you,” Ori said next to her.

“I’m sorry, Lady Ori,” Soren said, sounding not at all apologetic. “My instructions were to bring only the princess.”

“It’s fine.” Bilba clasped her hands together in front of her and stepped closer to Soren. “Thank you for the invitation to breakfast, Ori. I’ll talk to you later.”

Ori looked uncertain, but there was little she could do about it.

“We’ll get to work on setting up your security team, Your Highness,” Gareth’s voice reached her, and she nodded.

Soren turned away and she quietly fell in behind him, hands still clasped before her. She walked with confidence, or the appearance of it anyway, and kept her eyes fixed on nothing. A trick she’d learned long ago to avoid having to see the smirks, and smug looks on the face of her relatives as they watched her being marched off to the executioner.

If asked later, she could not have said where, exactly, the king’s office was. She felt detached as they walked, her mind wandering to a different place where she didn’t have to face whatever it was that lay before her. Where she was still in Shire, living in her apartment with Rosie and waiting for Bofur to pick her up for a date.

Back in Shire, before she’d met Bofur and Rosie, she’d take herself back even further. Back to before her parent’s had died, when the only grandfather she’d known had been Mungo Baggins. He’d bought her first pair of ballet slippers and been front and center at all of her performances, alongside her parents. He’d always applauded louder than anyone, no matter how small or inconsequential her part.

Sometimes, if she tried very hard, she could still feel the rush of the breeze as he pushed her on the swings at the park or hear his laugh whenever she did something silly to amuse him.

The last time she’d seen him they’d been preparing to take a walk to the next town over. He’d taken her to the store to buy food and snacks to prepare a lunch to have along the way, and they’d spent the evening planning when they would leave the next morning, when they would return and where they would stop along the way. Bilba had even been given a little money to be able to buy a small souvenir or dessert once they arrived.

Everything had been ready, her clothes laid out and sack lunches waiting in the fridge. She’d had a sleepover that night at a friend’s house, and had wanted to make sure everything was ready for when Grandfather Mungo came to get her the next day, so she could just get dressed, grab her bag and lunch and off they’d go.

The walk never took place.

Her parents had died that night and the shock of hearing the news had caused Grandfather Mungo to suffer a massive heart attack.

He’d lingered in the hospital for nearly a week.

She hadn’t been allowed to visit.

They stopped in front of a large set of double doors, and Bilba pulled herself back to reality. As much as she didn’t want to, there was no other choice when facing her grandfather but to exist in the moment. He did not respond well to her failure to pay attention.

The door opened and she tensed. Soren bowed low in front of her, said something she couldn’t hear over the roar in her ears, and then stepped aside and bowed her in.

She entered and, for an instant, the room shifted and wavered into the one she was so familiar with in Shire. Her grandfather was obsessed with showing off not just his opulence, but also the impression that he was just a kindly old man. His office was homey with thick rugs, overstuffed bookcases and portraits of his family on the walls.

The sight had always made her nauseous.

The door shut behind her with a quiet click, and the room faded into the one she actually stood in. Rough, unfinished stone walls adorned with swords and weaponry. Cold rock under her feet. One, small bookcase with a few books stacked on it, and a large, rickety looking desk dominating the center of the room.

Her new father-in-law looked nothing like her grandfather.

Where her grandfather was usually near smothered in robes and jewels, the king of Erebor wore armor and the only jewelry he sported were beads in his hair and a few rings. Where her grandfather wanted to portray a false image of safety, it was clear that Thrain wished to convey one of threat.

At least he was honest about it.

Piercing eyes studied her, and Bilba dropped into a deep curtsey. Silence stretched, and she silently thanked ballet for giving her strong legs and good balance.

“Rise,” the king said finally, his voice a deep baritone that was very similar to Thorin’s.

Bilba obeyed. “Your Majesty.” She was careful to keep her voice soft and fixed her eyes on the desk.

He made a harrumph sound. “At least you have some training, not that it prompted you to introduce yourself upon your arrival.”

“My apologies,” Bilba said quietly. Part of her wanted to point to the deception by the head housekeeper and head butler but she realized that Thrain must already know. Reminding him would most likely be seen as an insult, or as her making excuses.

Thrain muttered under his breath and leaned forward in his chair, bringing his arms and hands into her view as he rested them on the desk. They were gnarled and craggy, as was the rest of the him, a ruler used to hard work and getting into the muck and mire alongside his subjects. It spoke well of him in one aspect at least. Her grandfather would no more sully his hands than he would allow a perceived slight to go unpunished.

“Now that you’ve finally deigned to show yourself,” Thrain said in a cold voice, “tell me, Your Highness, how it is that you and my son have been married a full month and have yet to produce a child?”

Follow on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1743620/chapters/3723188

#Writing #My writing #fanfiction #fanfic #LOTR #Hobbit #Tolkien #Female Bilbo #Female Bilbo Baggins #AU #modern #Angst #Arranged Marriage #Bagginshield

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walkerismychoice · 5 years

Text

Stripped Bare - Chapter 10

Book: Open Heart

Pairing: Bryce X MC (Charlie Hawkins)

Summary: Tuesdays activities continue and Bryce and Charlie sneak in a little free time between events.

Note: Things are not going to plan. I’ve been trying to hold things off longer, but these characters just don’t seem to want that, so where it goes from here, who knows, lol.

Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 2964

Katelyn and Landry lead the group to a large conference room near the front desk of the hotel. On the table, there are stacks and stacks of colored paper, along with numerous boxes around the perimeter.

“Everyone find a seat,” Katelyn instructs. “Due to logistics, we weren’t able to assemble the table decorations ahead of time, so we had all the materials shipped here. There are instructions at each place and an example in the middle, and with all of you here, it should only take a couple hours to get them all done. Landry and I have some final things to go over with the wedding planner, but since you will be working through lunch, we are having food brought in.”

Kyra covers her mouth and whispers to Charlie. "Do we get bathroom breaks or are we chained to our chairs?"

Charlie tries to hold back a laugh and snorts instead. Katelyn glares at them before continuing her spiel. "Depending on how soon you finish, you may have some free time before our dinner cruise. Remember the boat departs promptly at 5pm, so if you aren't there on time," she looks right at Kyra and Charlie, "we won't be able to wait for you." With that, Katelyn turns to leave, and Landry follows like a submissive puppy dog.

Charlie takes a seat between Kyra and Bryce, and honestly the two of them are the only thing keeping her from going off the deep end and strangling Katelyn. She looks at the origami lotus flower lantern in the center of the table and then studies the double sided instructions thoroughly, picking up the paper and fumbling within the first couple steps. "What the...I can hardly fold a paper airplane, how the hell am I supposed to figure this out?"

She's been too wrapped up in her own frustration to notice how Bryce is fairing, when he places a completed flower in front of her. "There. That wasn't so bad".

Charlie shoots him a look out of the corner of her eye. "How in the world did you do that so fast?"

Bryce shrugs. "I'm very adept at spatial reasoning, and did I already mention I'm great with my hands? Both helpful traits for a surgeon."

"God, Charlie, is there anything your man can't do?" Kyra quips.

"I'm terrible at baking. Don't have the patience for it. But other than than that? I'm good at everything." Bryce winks at Kyra and they both laugh.

Kyra sighs. "Smart, handsome, and a good sense of humor. You better not let this one go, Charlie."

"Yeah, he's great," Charlie smiles weekly at Bryce and hopes her tone of voice doesn't give anything away. She's forced to think again about how she's going to have to come up with some reason for a breakup, and it hurts to think about her time with him ending.

Bryce squeezes her thigh under the table and plants a kiss on her cheek. "You are great too, Babe."

Kyra chuckles. "Ugh, you two are so disgustingly cute, I can't take it. Get back to work before I develop diabetes from all the sweetness."

Bryce helps show Charlie how to make one, which makes much more sense than than the directions. She's proud of her accomplishments even though she can only make one to every five Bryce makes. A couple hours and multiple paper cuts between the group later, they've completed all 300 lotus flower lanterns. Bryce has probably single-handedly saved them about an hour’s worth of time.

The group disperses and Bryce and Charlie return their suite. Bryce pulls his swim trunks out of his suitcase. "I think I'm going to go for a swim. There's that semi-private pool in the courtyard and it would be a shame to not get a chance to use it. Care to join me?"

Ugh, that would mean getting into her swimsuit in front of Bryce, which is bound to happen at some point, but she isn't mentally prepared for it right now. Sure he's seen her naked already, but that was briefly and not in a form-fitting bathing suit that can magnify problem areas. Going stark naked would almost be preferable. But maybe she could just hang out in her coverup and dip her feet in.... "Sure. Just give me a few minutes."

Charlie retreats to the bedroom and closes the door. She goes through her suits, murmuring to herself. "Definitely not that one, but this one should should be okay." She selects a black one piece with a plunging neckline and strappy back, hoping the cleavage will distract from other areas. If she can say anything positive about gaining weight, aside from having a healthier relationship with food, it's that her boobs are pretty amazing now.

She puts the suit on and turns to look at her back in the mirror. The straps kind of smush the little bit of back fat she has but she realizes she's probably the only one who would even notice, and she scolds herself for being so critical. She slips on her coverup and hopes what she's wearing underneath won’t matter regardless.

When Charlie and Bryce arrive at the pool, nobody else is around. Bryce immediately starts applying sunscreen to his front side and extremities, and then points the bottle at her. "Can you get my back?"

The thought of rubbing her hands over his lotion slicked skin is enough to make her palms sweat, but how can she really say no? "Oh...sure." She squeezes some into her hands and rubs them together before spreading sunscreen over his shoulders and down his back. His skin is so perfect and smooth, and his taut muscles seem to relax under her touch until she reaches the sides of his lower back and he flinches.

"Sorry, I'm pretty ticklish there," Bryce admits.

"Good to know." The words fly out of her mouth without thinking, as if she'll somehow need this information filed away for later use. She's pretty sure he's used this line on her though, so he can't think too much of it.

Charlies starts to lotion herself, finishing up her arms and legs when Bryce interjects. "Let me do you now."

She knows what he means, but the double entendre paints a mental picture that leaves her fumbling to form cohesive thoughts. "N-no, I'm good. I'm just going to dip my feet in and keep my back covered."

Bryce shakes his head and a devilish look flits across his face. "I thought we came here to go swimming?" He suddenly scoops her up and Charlie shrieks as he holds her over the side of the pool. "If you won't go in yourself, I'll have to make you."

Bryce, you wouldn't dare!"

"Maybe, maybe not, but do you really want to test me?"

"Okay, okay, okay, just put me down." He sets her down and Charlie tries to act mad about the ordeal but she can't hold back her smirk. "You win," she says as lifts her cover-up over her head. "Now do me." Might as well continue using his language.

"With pleasure." Bryce squeezes out a generous amount of sunscreen, starting at her shoulders and working around the fabric of her suit. He covers the areas between the straps and Charlie can't help but suck in and hold her breath like it's going to make a difference. Once he's got every exposed part, he moves back up and massages her shoulders, focusing on two big knots on either side. "You are still so tense Charlie. You know you can relax around me."

If only it were that easy. Does he not realize the effect he has on her? "It's just hard with Katelyn being such a tyrant." It is part of the reason, so it's not a total lie.

"Yeah, Katelyn is pretty terrible. I can't understand how you two are even from the same gene pool." Bryce circles thumbs deep in the muscles of upper back one more time, and a soft moan escapes as an almost she feels and almost orgasmic release of tension. He leans in close and drops his voice low. "Does anyone ever tell you how beautiful you are? Something tells me you don't hear that nearly enough."

A shiver runs down Charlie's spine at the same time a surge of heat rushes through the rest of her body. She doesn't doubt his sincerity this time, but he's right. Between her mom always trying to buy Charlie clothes a size to small, Katelyn never failing to remind her of her shortcomings, and the way Andrew would point to old pictures of when they were first dating and remind her of how good she used to look then, she's not used to such compliments, and she has a hard time believing them.

"Thanks," Charlie mumbles and jumps in the water like it will magically wash her awkwardness away. Bryce does a backflip into the water, and lands beside. At least it lightens the mood, and she can't help but give him a hard time. "Show off."

"I'm running out of ways to impress you, Charlie."

"You want to impress me? Beat me to the other end of the pool!" Charlie leaps forward with a head start, kicking water in Bryce's face before he can make sense of what's going on. She's just about to reach the edge of the pool with her fingertips when Bryce swims underneath her, touching the pool wall first. He surfaces between her arms, back against the wall, and her body collides with his.

"I win!" Bryce announces with a sly grin. "So, did it work?"

Charlie sits frozen against Bryce's chest with her hands gripping the edge of the pool on either side of him. He has that look in his eyes again, like he's begging her to kiss him. She inches her face closer hesitantly, giving him any opportunity to back down if for some reason she's misreading his signals, but he doesn't.

Their lips are mere millimeters apart, when the loud squeak of the pool gate interrupts them, and Charlie turns to see a group of three couples entering the pool area. She quickly pushes away and swims the the center of the pool. She's not sure if it's a sign our what, but she's not about to make out with Bryce for real in front of an audience.

Charlie and Bryce float around casually in the pool with the other guests. Charlie gets out to bask in the bright sunshine, so Bryce decides to do laps, because of course he does. That boy does not sit still for long.

Before long it's time to go back and get ready for the dinner cruise. Once inside the room, Charlie flops down dramatically on the bed while Bryce stands in the doorway looking amused.

"I take it you aren't looking forward to tonight?"

"Do you think Katelyn would notice if we just didn't show up?"

Bryce sits on the bed next to her. "As tempting as that is, I'm sure she'd find some way to use it against you."

Charlie sighs heavily. "You're right. But screw her suggested dress code. I'm wearing flats instead of heels."

Bryce bursts out laughing. "Sorry, but your rebellious side is adorable. How about I live dangerously too and go without a tie."

"Hey!" Charlie swats his shoulder with the back of her hand. "It is a big deal! A Connecticut socialite wearing flats to a dinner function could be social suicide."

Bryce just shakes his head. "Then it's a good thing you have me by your side. Nobody will be looking at your feet."

Charlie chuckles. "Yes, I'm very thankful to have my trophy boyfriend on this trip...But in all seriousness Bryce, I'm really glad you are here. This whole trip is so much more tolerable because of you. I know it's only because I'm paying you-"

"Hey," Bryce cuts her off. "I would have come with you for free. Well maybe not before I knew you. I was pretty skeptical of some rich girl who was desperate enough to pay a guy that much money to pretend to be her date to a wedding. But after meeting Katelyn, I get it...and I actually like spending time with you." Bryce inches his hand over on the bed and brushes his pinkie against Charlie's, sending an electric tingle radiating through her.

Charlie looks at Bryce, unsure of what to say. There's a definite thing between them she can no longer deny, but she's still afraid to find out exactly what that means. "Well, I suppose I should go shower so we don't miss the boat." Not her smoothest response but at least she didn't say anything embarrassing this time. She'll take that as a win.

~~~

Bryce sidles up to Charlie standing against the side of the boat overlooking the water. Cocktail hour and dinner had gone fairly well, with both Charlie and Bryce mingling amongst the tolerable people in the group, but she still needed a minute away to breath.

He hands her another drink and slips his arm around her waist. "How are you holding up?"

"All things considered, it's been a pretty good night. And my shoes are so comfortable!" Charlie laughs as she holds out of foot showing off her strappy sandal flats.

"And you look stunning as always." Bryce seems to get distracted by something out of the corner of his eye. "Don't look, but Katelyn keeps looking over at us. Should we give her a show?"

“What do you have in mind?”

Bryce takes Charlie’s drink and sets it on a nearby table next to his. He turns her towards him to allow Katelyn the best view, and loops his arms around her waist. “Kiss me.”

“Oh...” Shit. She’d figured that was where this was going, but she’s still not prepared to hear it. With all that’s happened today, the thought of kissing him is more terrifying than before. Is it real, fake, or somewhere in between? “...Okay.” She rests her hands on his chest and lifts her her heels up to reach his mouth for a slow but chaste kiss. It’s barely anything more than a kiss she would give her grandmother, but her heart’s still pounding nonetheless.

“I think you can do better than that,” he encourages with a sly grin. ‘You want to make her jealous, don’t you?”

Their agreement was nothing more than kisses like that, but is that even part of this anymore? Charlie slides her arms around Bryce’s back and tilts her chin up as he leans down to meet her. She parts her mouth just slightly, tentatively, waiting for Bryce to take the lead, but all he does is mirror her actions. She summons her courage and deepens the kiss, and her stomach fills with butterflies, sparks transferring between their lips. He tastes like rum and mint and his lips are as smooth as silk. His hands settle lower and lower on her waist until Charlie breaks the kiss. She tries to discreetly look at Katelyn, but Katelyn sees her and abruptly turns and walks away.

Charlie steps back and out of Bryce’s grasp. “Seems like that did the trick.”

Bryce grabs his drink and takes a sip, and amused look on his face. “I would agree.” He give Charlie her drink and places a hand on the small of her back. “We should probably rejoin the others.”

Charlie sighs. “Probably.”

~~~

The rest of the night passes quickly yet torturously slow at the same time. Charlie can’t stop analyzing the kiss and what it did or didn’t mean. She’d been sure Bryce had felt something just as she had, but then as soon as Katelyn was gone, the moment was over. Had she expected him to pull her back in, push her up against the wall, and kiss her passionately until she could no longer breathe? Maybe it was just for show. Neither one brings it up again, and soon they are back in their room getting ready for bed.

“Is it still cool if I sleep in the bed with you?” Bryce asks as he comes out of the bathroom in his boxer briefs. “I don’t mind sleeping on the couch...”

Charlie’s heart sinks. Had the kiss changed something for him? “I don’t mind if you sleep with me, really.”

“Ok, good.” Bryce smiles brightly, and Charlie is awash with relief.

They climb into bed and Charlie instinctively puts the pillow barrier back up. Bryce chuckles and throws the pillows off the bed.

“That’s really not necessary, Charlie...unless you want it.”

“No, I don’t need it.” If Bryce isn’t afraid of some incidental touching, who is she to try and prevent it? She flips over on her side away from him and towards the edge of the bed like the night before.

She can hear Bryce laugh under his breath. “If you want us to be believable as a couple, you have to stop being so afraid to touch me.”

Charlie looks over her shoulder and shrugs. “We even had the yoga instructor fooled today. I don’t think we are doing such a bad job at that.”

“That’s because you were able to get out of your head. But when you have time to think about it, you’re still so timid and tense. Come here.” Bryce tugs on her hips and she scoots back into him, Bryce draping an arm over her. “Is this okay?”

“Yes,” she answers, her voice barely a whisper, although “okay” might not be the word she would use. It’s intimate, too intimate, but having his body against hers feels so good she’s not going to deny him.

Bryce gives her a soft squeeze. “Goodnight, Charlie.”

#playchoices fanfic #open heart #Stripped Bare #bryce x mc #bryce lahela #my fic

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1dffchallenges · 5 years

Photo

All Strings Attached

Written By: @booksncoffee

Characters: Kyra/Niall

Summary: Best friends, Niall Horan and Kyra Harrier, decided to take their friendship to the next level: boyfriend and girlfriend. It seemed like the best thing to do since they’re both known for their failed relationships. Besides, they knew each other better than they knew themselves, knew what they’re getting themselves into when they decided to be more than friends, so there’s no reason for this brilliant idea of theirs to not work.

But then again, maybe they shouldn’t have kept their relationship a secret.

The last time Kyra dated someone secretly she was fifteen and she had two reasons for entangling herself in that rather messy and complicated situation:

One, her parents weren’t really open to the idea of their young daughter dating anyone so they would talk her ears off if they were to find out she’s going out with someone. As if having to hear them lecture her for not listening to them wouldn’t be bad enough, they would also ground her for at least a year -- lucky for her, they never found out so she didn’t have to face any of that.

Two, the guy she dated back then happened to be one of her brother’s friends, Glenn. Kyra’s brother had this weird rule where he’d warn all of his friends to never hit on her and whenever his friends came over, he would warn them to not so much as glance his younger sister’s way and if any of them were caught doing so, there’d be consequences. Kyra never found out what those consequences were.

So keeping the relationship a secret from both her parents and her brother was the only way Kyra could continue dating Glenn without getting each other into trouble and whilst a secret relationship was a red sign for other people, her ex-boyfriend didn’t mind.

Glenn was afraid of Kyra’s brother, Travis, too but not afraid enough to listen to the one thing Travis told all of his friends not to do which was date his younger sister. The relationship lasted for three months and Kyra considered that quite long because she was pretty certain they wouldn’t move past two weeks or one month considering how many times they were nearly caught by Travis.

But now, Kyra had no reason to date anyone secretly. She’s twenty-eight and her parents wouldn’t talk her ears off if they found out she’s dating someone (in fact, they’re hoping she’s already off the market) and her brother should be okay with her dating because she’s a grown woman who could take care of herself.

So really, no reason for secret dating at all.

And yet, thirteen years later, history repeated itself.

Kyra found someone that she’s head over heels for and that someone happened to be her brother’s friend: Niall Horan. Travis and Niall met at work, and immediately became good friends. Those two were inseparable and since Niall spent a lot of time with Travis and their family (he didn’t have a close relationship with his family so Travis felt as though it’s his responsibility to make Niall feel as welcomed as possible in the Harrier household), he became Kyra’s friend too.

When Travis was transferred to a different company about a year and a half later, Niall began to spend more and more time with Kyra, though he still kept in touch with Travis. They remained friends and still meet up for drinks every now and then, but since Travis wasn’t around that much, Kyra’s friendship with Niall blossomed into something else, something more.

Whilst she could just come out with the truth and tell her brother that she’s dating his friend because like she said, she’s a grown woman who could very well take care of herself and she didn’t need him protecting her like some kind of an overprotective brother (not that she needed the protection back then), she decided that it’d be too messy if Travis found out and that’s the last thing she needed. Especially when the relationship was going so well. So much so that the thoughts of coming clean about said relationship crossed her mind at least once a week. Each time, she brushed it off.

It’s better this way, she’d tell herself. But right now, she’s not so sure if keeping the relationship a secret was a brilliant idea after all.

“I don’t get it,” Bianca huffed as she put down her untouched cake on the coffee table. Kyra eyed the plate, suddenly craving for more cake. She’d had two slices already but she might pack up one more for the road. “How is he still single?”

“Who?” Kyra looked around the living room, pretending not to know who exactly Bianca was referring to.

She didn’t miss the way the other girl kept her eyes trained on Niall the entire night as though waiting for the right time to approach him and to, no doubt, make romantic advances. So far, Bianca hadn’t had the chance to do either and not to sound like a possessive girlfriend because she’s not that kind of girlfriend and hopefully would never become that kind of girlfriend, she’s glad her brother had been keeping her boyfriend occupied ever since he arrived at Eliana’s first birthday party. Kyra had a feeling that the moment Travis left him alone, Bianca would see it as an opportunity to get Niall alone.

It would be entertaining to see her boyfriend looking uncomfortable and squirming whilst Bianca talked to him, especially with the knowledge that his girlfriend would be watching his every move only a few feet away. Kyra usually enjoyed it, but she wasn’t sure if that’s what she wanted to witness this evening.

Not when she hadn’t seen him in over a week because of his stupid job that required him to travel to Manhattan for a week to secure a deal with one of their clients who apparently preferred to deal with him and he’d only returned this morning. He was supposed to come over to her place as soon as he landed but something else came up and he promised to meet her at her niece’s birthday party instead.

“Travis’ friend.” Bianca answered. “Niall. Or is it Neil?”

“Niall,” Kyra corrected her.

“Yeah.” Bianca nodded, not paying attention to Kyra as her eyes drifted back to Niall who’s in a deep conversation with Travis. He’s probably unaware of a few pairs of eyes on him at the moment. Kyra wondered what they’re talking about. She should ask him later when they’re alone. “What’s the deal with him? He’s still single right?”

“He is, but he’s not looking to date anyone,” Cassie, Travis’ wife, interrupted as she returned from changing Eliana’s clothes as she spilled her apple juice on her shirt earlier and took a seat next to Kyra.

Kyra had to fight the urge to let out a relieved sigh because she wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep up a conversation with Bianca without Cassie around. It’s not that she didn’t like Bianca, though the way her eyes lingered inappropriately long on Niall bothered her to no end, it’s just that she didn’t know what to talk about with her as they had nothing in common. Except for their attraction for Niall, it seemed.

“At least that’s what he told Travis.”

“He told Travis that?” That question left Kyra’s mouth before she could stop it. Good thing Cassie didn’t seem to notice anything or didn’t consider that question was weird because Travis certainly would.

“Yeah,” Cassie nodded as she bounced Eliana on her lap, the toddler distracted with the toy in her hands. It’s the toy Kyra got for her a month ago when she found out her niece loved to chew things now. “Travis wanted to set him up with someone from work and he told him he’s not interested.”

Damn it, Travis, Kyra thought, him and his incessant matchmaking.

Her brother was always trying to set Niall up with someone -- sometimes it’s someone from his workplace or someone he met through a friend or a friend of a friend and one time, he tried to set him up with Cassie’s friend. But the moment Kyra asked him to match her with any of his friends (just for fun and also because she barely had time to meet new people outside of work), he’d turn down the idea immediately. Like he couldn’t wrap his head around the concept that his younger sister wasn’t young and little anymore, and that she’s allowed to date whomever she wanted.

Kyra couldn’t help but to wonder what Travis would say or do if he found out she’s dating his best friend. Nothing good, no doubt. Him getting protective over Kyra was one thing and completely natural because he’s her brother, his protectiveness over Niall was a completely different thing -- weird, different thing because they’re best friends. That’s it.

“I think he’s already dating someone,” Cassie said in a stage whisper like she feared someone was going to hear her conspiring something when the truth was, no one really paid attention to them at the moment.

Kyra nearly spat out her drink and she immediately patted her chin to ensure that she had no remainder of the fallen drink marking her skin. She scanned her shirt for any spills but luckily there’s nothing there. Maybe Eliana got her clumsiness from her aunt.

Both Cassie and Bianca turned to look at Kyra. Whereas her sister in law asked her if she’s okay, seemingly oblivious to her reaction, Bianca had a suspicious look written all over her face. For someone who had only met Kyra for the first time tonight, Bianca appeared more alert to her reactions.

“Anyway. He looks happier now and I think he’s already dating someone but Travis said it’s because he’s getting a raise and he might get promoted soon.”

Of course Travis couldn’t wrap his head around the idea that Niall might be dating someone and not telling him about it. If she didn’t love her brother so much she’d ask Niall to file a restraining order against Travis because it seemed like he’s obsessed with him.

“If he’s seeing someone why would he keep it a secret?” Bianca asked. Though her question was directed at Cassie, her eyes lingered on Kyra. “I know for a fact that if I’m dating him, I’d let everyone know about it.”

“I don’t know,” Cassie shrugged. “Beats me.”

Maybe they just wanted some privacy, was what Kyra intended to say. But what she ended up saying was: “I think I need some water.”

She got up from the couch and made a beeline to the empty kitchen. She wasn’t lying about needing some water so she filled up a glass and took a few sips, backside pressing against the marble countertop as she leaned against it.

Kyra had just finished her water and she was about to wash the glass when Niall stepped into the kitchen. He must have somehow managed to escape from Travis and judging by the sly grin that slowly stretched his lips when she caught his eyes, he’s proud of it. And maybe he’s happy to see her in the kitchen too, away from everyone else, away from prying eyes because without people around them, he finally got to do this:

“Hi,” he whispered against her hair as he wrapped his arms around her waist, embracing her in a warm hug. He had wanted to do that since he got here and saw her sitting on the couch, half-listening to whatever it was her sister-in-law and her friend telling her. Hell, he had wanted to do that since the moment he left her place to go to the airport a week ago.

Kyra pulled back just a little so she could take a look at his face. He looked tired, like he would rather sleep than be here at the party but since he’s a good -- no, an amazing -- friend, here he was, at Eliana’s first birthday party. A party that she wouldn’t even remember once she got older but both Travis and Cassie insisted they should throw a rather big one anyway to celebrate it. It shouldn’t surprise Kyra because those two loved their daughter more than anything in this world and if it were up to them, they’d throw a party for that little girl every month.

“What?” Niall’s voice interrupted her thoughts. He raised an eyebrow at her. “Missed my handsome face?”

“Thanks for ruining the moment, dumb-ass.” Kyra pushed him away from her but he caught her wrist and pulled her back to him, his chest rumbling with laughter. He brought their intertwined fingers up to his lips and pressed a kiss on each of her fingers, the action sending shivers down her spine and causing goosebumps to break out across her skin.

Niall, happy with her reaction, leaned forward and captured her lips for a kiss. A soft sigh escaped Kyra’s throat and he grinned into the kiss. Her lips were unbelievable -- soft and addicting -- and that explained why Niall couldn’t get enough of it. Of her. When he bent to kiss her throat, she pulled back, albeit very reluctantly, and whispered a soft, “We have to stop.”

“No one’s around,” he whispered back, his voice strained.

Although Kyra believed him, she remained the small distance between them and did a quick flit around the kitchen to ensure that they really were alone because if someone were to walk in right now, she had no doubt they’d start getting suspicious. The hug was fine, friends hugged all the time, but this? Her hand in his, pressed against his chest so she could feel the soft thumping of his heart, and their faces only a couple of inches away? Their secret would be blown immediately. Especially when Niall ghosted his lips along the line of her cheek, stopping just below her ear. Kyra wanted nothing more than to tilt her head and grant him more access but before she could do that, she heard footsteps heading toward the kitchen.

Reluctantly, she pushed him away from her and told him that someone’s coming in case he didn’t hear it. He groaned under his breath as he put some distance between them, giving her a look that said, “remind me again why we’re keeping this a secret?” and she responded with a look that said, “you know why and don't act like you didn’t agree with this.”

And it’s true that when they decided to change their status from best friends to boyfriend and girlfriend over four months ago, they both agreed that they should keep their relationship a secret so the decision wasn’t a one-sided thing. But this lately, Niall’s beginning to wonder if they should come clean already, get the truth out in the open so he didn’t have to wait until no one’s around to finally get his hands on his girlfriend, to touch her, to kiss her.

“Ah, my beloved sister and my best friend,” Travis strolled into the kitchen and stopped in front of the fridge. Before he opened the fridge, he cast a suspicious look at Kyra. “You’re not trying to seduce my Niall, are you?”

Kyra shot a quick glance at Niall. Her eyes said: “see, this is why we’re keeping it a secret.” And the fact that her brother had just called her boyfriend ‘my Niall’ certainly helped her case. Niall pressed his lips together, admitting defeat.

“What makes you think that it’s not the other way around?” Kyra raised an eyebrow at her brother, who simply laughed as though the answer was simple and right there in plain sight. “No. Seriously. What if Niall’s the one who’s trying to seduce me?” That wasn’t exactly a lie because what Niall was doing to her just now was her definition of him seducing her.

Travis took out an apple juice from the fridge, most likely for his daughter who’s obsessed with that drink, and gave Kyra a pointed look before he turned to look at Niall, brows raised. “Were you?”

Niall snuck a look at Kyra and she could see his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed the lump in his throat, unsure of what to say. Now he knew what it felt like to be put on the spot. She crossed her arms, leaned against the counter and waited for him to answer. She’d love to hear his response. She had a feeling that he’s going to deflect.

And she was proven right when he scratched his jaw and said, “Hey, do you think I could have that apple juice? Think Eliana’s gonna get mad if I take one?”

Tristan regarded Niall with an unreadable look that unnerved both Niall and Kyra because for once, they hadn’t a clue what’s going on in his mind. He’s usually easy to read as he was a more open book. He wore his heart on his sleeve, had a terrible poker face and he’s proud of it. But right now, he could’ve fooled just about anyone with that look on his face. Kyra feared that her brother might point something out and she’s forced to come clean about her relationship with Niall when she’s not at all ready for it but then he nodded and opened the fridge door for Niall to take out the juice box.

“We should get back to the living room,” Tristan said. “Cassie insisted we should take some pictures together before Eliana turns in for the night.”

He looked at Kyra and Niall one last time before he turned on his heels and left the kitchen, taking away all the tension with him. Kyra turned to Niall and she found that he’s already looking at her. He didn’t have to voice out his thoughts because she knew. She knew he was glad that they’re keeping it a secret.

***

Nearly two months had passed since Eliana’s first birthday party and things had been going great for both Niall and Kyra. Their definition of great was this: no one suspected a thing about their relationship so they were safe from having to come clean about their secret for another month and they had developed a system wherein Niall would stay at Kyra’s place from Monday until Wednesday and she would stay at his from Thursday until Sunday.

It’s Friday night and Kyra was sitting cross-legged on Niall’s couch with her laptop on her lap as she still had a few work related things to do even though she’s out of the office already. Meanwhile Niall was mindlessly scrolling through Netflix as he didn’t know what to watch and nothing seemed to catch his attention. He and Kyra finished a show two nights ago and he thought it’d be a good thing to start a new one.

“Have you found anything interesting?” Kyra asked, her eyes fixed on her laptop still. A groan was what she received in reply. She patted his knee before she returned her fingers back on the keyboard. She had one more email to send, one that she had been dreading because it’s for the client that she’s not too fond of, before she could sign off for the night and enjoy her Friday night in with her boyfriend.

Niall had just found something interesting to watch and was about to click play when a knock on the door interrupted him. He’s not expecting anyone and his colleagues knew better than to come over to his place unannounced. So he turned to Kyra. “Is that for you?”

She shook her head. “No one knows I’m here.”

“Right. Of course no one knows,” Niall muttered under his breath. Kyra opened her mouth to ask him to repeat himself when he cursed. She kinked an eyebrow at him. “I think it’s Travis.”

“No.”

“Apart from you, he’s the only one who insists on knocking instead of using the doorbell,” Niall said. Kyra’s face paled in horror. “So yeah, I think it is him.”

“Okay don’t panic--”

Niall squinted his eyes at his girlfriend. “Not a problem for me,” he said because he’s not panicking at all.

If it were up to him, he would march up to the door and let her brother in so he’d know already. Each time he met up with Travis, the itch to come clean got stronger and stronger. Surely Travis would understand. He was, after all, serious about Kyra. He’s not one for casual relationships -- Travis should know that by now and he should also know that Niall wouldn’t do anything to intentionally hurt his sister. But since Kyra insisted that they should still keep it a secret, he kept his mouth shut, swallowed the words whenever they threatened to leave his throat.

Kyra glared at him as she pursed her lips. She had something else to say to him but not when her brother was waiting outside. “I’ll hide in your room. Don’t let him go in there.”

She didn’t wait around to hear what else he had to say as she picked up her belongings and went to his room. She closed the door, put down her laptop on his bed before crawling onto it a second later. She heard his footsteps growing farther and farther, and then there’s muffled voices coming from the hall. She couldn’t hear what they’re saying even if she tried so she waited until they’re in the living room to eavesdrop.

“Have you heard from Kyra?” Travis asked. “I’ve been calling her but she’s not picking up. And when I went over to her place, it’s dark. So I thought she’d be here because she’s always hanging out with you.”

Kyra looked around Niall’s room for her phone and found it on the nightstand. It was dead the last time she checked it and whilst she had reminded herself to charge it as soon as she got here, she forgot all about it when Niall welcomed her with a kiss. Kiss that turned into something much, much hotter as they got carried away. From the living room, to the bedroom and then to the bathroom. No doubt she’d be needing an encore of that performance soon.

“I--Uh, no.” Niall’s voice brought her back to reality.

“No?” Travis repeated. There’s no reply on Niall’s behalf and she could only guess that he simply offered her brother a nod. “As much as I don’t really approve of your friendship, I know you two are somewhat close so I thought you’ve heard from her.”

“Maybe her phone’s dead or maybe she’s already asleep.”

“Yeah. Maybe,” was all Travis said.

There’s silence. For a moment, Kyra thought her brother had left but then she heard Niall clearing his throat and a question left his mouth, “Hey, what d’you mean when you said you don’t really approve of our friendship?”

Unlike before, Travis didn’t answer straightaway. It’s like he had a sense that he’s in a minefield -- if only he knew how real that was because there’s only a wall and a door separating him from his sister that he so badly wanted to protect.

Just answer the god damn question, she whispered to herself, because now that Niall had brought that question up, she wanted to know the answer too. But it wouldn’t come as a surprise if Travis changed the subject -- it ran in the family, anyway, changing the subject when you didn’t want to talk about it or when you knew you’d get in trouble if you continued talking about it.

Niall must’ve pressed him for an answer because his voice filtered through the closed door a few seconds later.

“You know what I mean.” Travis let out a chuckle. Kyra wanted nothing more than to materialise next to him and smack his head -- and she preferred for it to leave a bruise -- because what did that even mean? Had they talked about this before? Because if they had, why didn’t Niall tell her about it? “You know I love my sister with all my heart but Kyra…” he trailed off and Kyra straightened her back and strained her ears to listen to every word that was about to leave her brother’s mouth. “She’s the opposite of you. And I know how you feel about her--No, you don’t have to deny it. I’m your best friend, I’ve seen the way you look at her but just… If you’re thinking of getting involved with her, it’s not a good idea. She’s not exactly a relationship type of person like you are.”

So this is how it felt like to get stabbed in the back. Kyra could feel her heart dropping to the pit of her stomach. Whilst her brother’s words held some truth to it, it didn’t lessen the pain. It hurt as hell that Travis would say such things behind her back.

Yes, she admitted that she didn’t have the best track record when it came to relationships and yes, in the past she wasn’t serious in any of her relationships, always the one to end it. The longest relationship she’d ever had lasted for six months but she refused to think about that or about the person she was with in said relationship right now.

Anyway, in her defence, the guys she dated weren’t Niall. They weren’t her best friend and they certainly weren’t someone whom she had strong feelings for. Feelings that had been harbouring in her heart for years. Come to think of it, she’d had feelings for Niall the moment Travis introduced him to their family five years ago at their family barbecue party.

The party was thrown for her, to celebrate her graduation and when Travis walked into the backyard of their house with someone next to him, Kyra couldn’t keep her eyes off of him. It might sound like an exaggeration but it really wasn’t. Travis had caught her staring and she remembered the look he gave her and the unspoken warning about how his friend, whom she found out later named Niall, was off-limits -- much like his other friends. But that didn’t stop her from talking to him, though technically, he was the one who talked to her first when he congratulated her for surviving university. Conversation flowed effortlessly between them before Travis stepped in and whisked Niall away from her. He’s always doing that. In fact, he’s doing that right now.

“She could be,” Kyra heard Niall say, pulling her back to reality. From the bedroom, his voice sounded like it was barely above a whisper. Maybe he didn’t want her to hear it. Or maybe he wasn’t too sure of his own words.

“I don’t know. Maybe.” Travis replied. “I’m just looking out for you. I don’t want you to get your, uh, heart broken.”

Shouldn’t he be looking out for her? And shouldn’t he worry about her heart too? Good to know where his loyalty lies, Kyra thought. She had never liked anyone as much as she liked Niall so the possibility of him breaking her heart was higher than the opposite so if there’s anyone that needed protecting (not that anyone needed it, anyway), it would be her.

“Thanks, Trav. I appreciate that,” Niall told his friend in his clipped tone. “But she’s your sister and you should have more faith in her.”

“You’re right,” Travis relented with a sigh. She heard movements and then, “Well I should get going then. I’ll give her another call tomorrow morning. Night, mate.”

Kyra listened to the footsteps retreating away from the living room and instead of leaving the bedroom once she’s sure Travis wasn’t around anymore, she stayed in there. She put away her laptop before she got under the sheets and rested her head on the pillow. When she heard Niall stepping into the bedroom, she screwed her eyes shut, pretending to be asleep. But who was she fooling? Niall would know that she’s actually still awake. He always knew.

The mattress dipped when Niall sat on the edge of the bed near Kyra’s feet. He placed his hand on her thigh, running it up and down, up and down, the warmth spreading across her skin even though there’s a sheet between them. When she continues to pretend to be asleep, he lets out a sigh.

“I’m sure he didn’t mean that,” he whispers into the silence and darkness of the room. “He’s just trying to protect you.”

Initially Kyra planned to not say anything, to continue pretending like she’s sleeping until she eventually fell asleep but Niall’s words stirred something inside of her. So she pushed the sheet away from her body and pushed herself up until she’s leaning against the headboard.

“Protect me?” She repeated, to which Niall responded with a shrug. He knew better than to say something and worsen the situation so he kept his mouth shut and let her continue talking. “What he just said to you is the opposite of protecting me. He’s exposing me, attacking me.”

Niall tilted his head to the side, brows furrowing, as he reached out for her hand. “Sweetheart--”

“Okay, I admit that at some point in my life I’m a commitment-phobe and I got out of the relationship before it could get serious and--”

“No--”

But Kyra refused to let him interrupt. She knew he was going to say something sweet, something about how she shouldn’t blame herself for getting out of the relationship because that’s who he was. He’s the nicest person on earth and he always saw the best in her (God, maybe Travis was right, maybe she didn’t deserve him).

“I got out because I got scared, Niall, the thoughts of spending my life with the guys I dated back then terrified me and if that doesn’t sound like a commitment-phobe, I don’t know what is,” Kyra gave him a pointed look, to which he let out a breathy chuckle, before she continued, “But those relationships? They’re… They’re nothing like this. Like our relationship. I’ve never been with someone I lo--” Kyra caught herself before she could say the word that had been on the tip of her tongue in the past weeks. Or maybe months. Or maybe years. But now’s not the time to mull over that. She looked over at Niall and found that he’s looking at her with that soft expression of his, the one that warmed and melted her heart at the same time and whilst she had been waiting for the right moment to say those three words (it had to be perfect), she knew it didn’t matter when she said it.

Throwing the sheet away from her body, Kyra scooted over to Niall and placed a hand on his. He immediately covered it with his. She looked at her hand, encased in his, and let out a soft sigh as a smile threatened to take over her lips. “What I was going to say--”

Kyra didn’t get to finish her sentence as Niall’s lips found hers and it wasn’t long before he had her on her back, his tender kisses trailing from her lips down to her neck and across her collarbone. Kyra allowed her hands to slide down his neck and she gently massaged his shoulders. He groaned with pleasure and that put a smile on her lips. With his breath hot on her skin, Kyra forgot what she was going to say before she was interrupted. But as soon as that thought hit her, she pulled back to look into Niall’s eyes.

She opened her mouth to say it, but Niall pressed another kiss on her mouth. “I know,” he whispered against her lips.

“Let me say it.”

Niall swallowed the lump in his throat. It’s not that he didn’t want to hear his girlfriend say those three words but as selfish as it might sound, he wanted to be the first one to say it. Niall’s a planner. He had it all planned. When he’s going to say it, where he’s going to say it, how he’s going to say it. But as he looked into Kyra’s eyes, the stars in her eyes, he didn’t care about that. He’s about to hear the woman of his dream say those magic words and he’d be a stupid, stupid man if he stopped her from doing so.

“Okay.”

Instead of saying those words straightaway, Kyra wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down to her before she trailed gentle kisses from his ear to the hollow of his neck. He shuddered as her lips returned to his ear and finally, she whispered, “I love you.”

Kyra kissed him, pulling his body tight against hers. He trailed his tongue tantalisingly across her lower lip, tangling his hand in her hair before he deepened the kiss. He didn’t have to say those words back because Kyra could feel it in his kiss. It’s different. It’s better.

When Niall disentangled his hand from her hair, he glided his fingers down her neck, across her collarbone and then over the curves of her breasts. He watched in amazement as his touch caused her to shiver. He dipped low again to kiss her and with her fingers trailing down his chest, he almost lost his coherent thoughts. He knew that if she continued lower and lower and lower, he should say goodbye to his ability to speak. So before that could get in the way, he whispered out her name. Her fingers stopped at his stomach and he sucked in a breath. He closed his eyes briefly and when they opened, he found himself looking straight into Kyra’s eyes, the eyes he’d grown to love, belonged to the woman he loved so much. “I love you.”

Kyra’s smile could light up the entire universe, Niall thought, as she flashed it to him. “Then make love to me.”

“Gladly.”

***

A week had passed since Travis came over to Niall’s house to look for Kyra and she had been ignoring him ever since. When her phone came back to life after she’d charged it, her notifications were instantly filled with his missed calls and text messages asking her of her whereabouts and demanding her to call him. She never did.

Maybe she’s being childish, but she still couldn’t get over the betrayal. It didn’t hurt as much as it did because it seemed like Travis’ words didn’t get through to Niall as the night ended with them admitting that they loved each other for the first time. Alas, that didn’t mean it didn’t still sting.

If it were up to Kyra, she’d continue avoiding her brother, but she received a call from her mother earlier today and apparently they’re having dinner together tonight so whether she wanted to or not, she had to face Travis and pretended as though she didn’t hear everything he said to her boyfriend.

She dreaded the dinner and it didn’t help that when she stepped out of the lift and into the garage, she found her brother waiting near her car. She almost turned around and walked back into the lift, but she reluctantly dragged her feet to her car and took a deep breath before she asked, “What’s up?”

Travis raised an eyebrow at her. “What’s up?”

“Yeah, why’re you here?”

“You haven’t been replying my texts and you didn’t call me back.”

Kyra held up her hands. “Got me.” Travis gave her a pointed look. “We’re meeting up for dinner so what brings you here?”

“To warn you.” He said. Kyra looked at him, laughter threatening to escape her throat, but upon seeing how serious he looked, she swallowed the sound. Travis rubbed the back of his neck and cleared his throat before he spoke again. “Ryan’s joining us for dinner.”

It took Kyra exactly five seconds to wrap her head around that name. “Ryan as in… Ryan Cook? Ryan Cook, my ex-boyfriend?” Travis nodded. “What-Why would he be there?”

“Dad bumped into him at the store and y’know how they are. One thing led to another and next thing you know dad invited him over for dinner.”

So that explained the last minute dinner plan. “When… when did that happen?”

“Last week,” Travis replied. “I’ve been trying to tell you that he’s back so that you wouldn’t be caught off guard if you bump into him somewhere but you…” he trailed off because he knew Kyra knew what he meant. She had been avoiding him. “Anyway, dad had been trying to get him to come over and he’d been turning down the offer. I guess dad wore him down and he agreed to have dinner with us tonight.”

“Why would dad do that?” Kyra frowned. His parents knew they split up years ago. “I mean I know he treated Ryan like his son but that’s… that’s so long ago.”

“I don’t know if you know this, Ky, but mum and dad have been rooting for you and Ryan since day one.”

“What?” Kyra shrieked. That’s ridiculous. Sure, her parents seemed to love Ryan when she introduced him to them (Ryan Cook could charm just about anyone so it wasn’t a surprise he could charm the pants off of her parents) but she didn’t think they loved him to that extent. “But we broke up.”

“You know they believe in second chances. And they think he’s the one who got away for you,” Travis told her. “I can cover for you if you want to bail. Tell them you’re not feeling well or something. I’ll figure it out.”

Kyra gaped at her brother. “You’d do that?”

He shrugged. “Of course. I know what Ryan did to you and I don’t blame you if you don’t want to face him ever again.”

Letting out a sigh, she pinched the bridge of her nose as the anger she felt for her brother slowly crumbled and she’s left feeling… relieved. Happy. He did care about her, though sometimes he showed it in a weird way. In his way. By being protective as hell.

“Hey, is everything alright?” Her brother approached her cautiously and when she didn’t step away, he placed a hand on her arm. He ducked his head to meet her sister’s eyes and when he noticed her eyes glistening with tears, he pulled her into his arms. “You should skip dinner if you don’t want to see Ryan.”

“That’s not-That’s not why I’m- I was actually angry at you.” Travis pulled back to look at her quizzically. He had his what do you mean? look on his face and she knew she had to come clean. The thought of having to tell her brother about her and Niall usually filled her with dread but not this time. Taking a few steps back, she took a deep breath and then leveled her gaze with Travis. “I was at Niall’s when you came looking for me there and I heard what you said to him and that’s so shitty of you, by the way, talking about me like that behind my back--”

Travis opened his mouth to defend himself but Kyra stopped him before he could.

“But for whatever reasons, I get it. You’re trying to protect Niall and you don’t want him to get his heart broken but trust me, I don’t want that either. At least, I don’t want to be the one to break his heart.” Kyra said. She took another deep breath. “I guess what I’m saying is, Niall and I are dating. We’ve been dating for almost seven months now and I love him and--”

Her breath is knocked out of her lungs as Travis crushed her in his arms. She let out a confused what? before she returned the hug.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m angry that you two kept it a secret for seven months but I’m also impressed that you managed to keep it that long,” Travis said before he pulled away. “So you’re the reason Niall has been turning down my offer to set him up with someone.”

Kyra punched his arm. “Annoy the hell out of me each time you do that. It’s okay for you to set him up with your friends but not me.”

“Just playing the role of a protective older brother,” he shrugged.

“Bullshit,” Kyra laughed. A few seconds of silence passed between them and she half-expected her brother to freak out on her but when it didn’t come, she asked, “So you’re not, like, freaking out?”

Travis cocked an eyebrow at her. “You want me to?”

“No, God, no,” she shook her head, exhaling. “Just expected something much worse than a hug is all.”

“Dunno, if you’re to tell me you and Niall are dating a few years ago I might go crazy.”

“And why’s that? Why’re you so against that?”

“I don’t want you to get hurt.” Kyra gave her a look that said come on, don’t give me that bullshit now and he let out a chuckle. “No, for real. I don’t want you to date any of my friends and have them break your heart--”

“I’m offended that you think I won’t be the one to break their heart.”

“And that too,” he added. “I’d be left with zero friend if you date my friends and break their heart.”

“I’d be doing you a favour.”

“Anyway, I guess I just didn’t like the idea of any of my friends and my little sister doing it. It’s disgusting.”

Kyra kinked an eyebrow at him. “But you’re okay with that now?”

“No,” he was quick to answer as he scrunched up his nose in disgust. “But it’s whatever now. As long as you’re,” he pauses to swallow, “safe then that’s great. I know Niall’s a great guy and he’s very careful about everything in his life so that’s one less thing to worry about. Besides, you can take care of yourself.”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you all these years.”

“I know.” Travis nodded. “Believe it or not, I love you and it’s difficult to see you all grown up now.”

“You’re only four years older than me,” Kyra scoffed and rolled her eyes. “And believe it or not, I know you love me. It’s kinda obvious.”

“Okay, smart-ass.” Travis rolled his eyes. “We should go now. I need to pick Cassie and Eliana up and I’ll meet you and Niall at our parents’.”

“Wait,” Kyra turned to her brother. “Niall will be there?”

Travis nodded. “Wait, I didn’t tell you that?”

“No.”

“Well. He’ll be there. Mum invited him as well.”

“Fuck.”

***

Niall’s already at her parents’ house when she got there. She saw his car parked outside and before she got in, she decided to text him.

You didn’t tell me you’re joining us for dinner.

Kyra rummaged through her bag for her lipstick that she always kept in there. When she found it, she uncapped it and applied one coat of lipstick on her lips. She dabbed at it with her middle finger, spreading it all over her mouth to give it a more natural look. As she put away her lipstick, Niall’s reply came in.

Thought i could surprise you here

Like when they weren’t still together and he would be at her parents’ house or Travis’ house when she came over. The surprise continued even once they’d gotten together. Usually she loved the surprise, enjoyed the thrill of sneaking in a kiss when no one was looking, but not this evening. Especially when she just caught sight of her ex-boyfriend making his way to the front door. He brought a bottle of wine with him. Her father’s favourite.

“Oh you’re good, Ryan,” Kyra whispered to herself.

Did you bring something for my parents?

Daisies for your mum and wine for your dad.

One point for Niall, Kyra thought, because he brought something for her mother too. Not that it’s a competition or anything.

I see your car outside. Why aren’t you coming in?

Kyra glanced at the front door and saw her father opening the door to invite Ryan inside. He was pulled into a brief hug and with a pat on the back, he was ushered inside. Kyra took a deep breath before she unlocked her car and stepped out. She straightened her blouse, played with the bracelets on her wrist and when her heart had calmed down a little, she walked up the path leading her to the front door, the only separating her from her boyfriend and ex-boyfriend.

See, the thing was, Ryan was the one who got away for her. At some point in her life, she considered him the blueprint of a perfect man. Everyone she had ever been with, she’d compare them to him. Which now that she had thought about it could be the reason why she could never get serious with anyone. But as cheesy as it might sound, it all changed when she met Niall. It didn’t happen overnight, of course, because when she first met Niall, she was pretty much still hung up over Ryan (and Niall knew about it) but overtime, her current boyfriend made her realise that her ex-boyfriend wasn’t even close to being perfect.

That said, it didn’t make her any less nervous to face both her past and her present in the living room. The two, seemingly unaware of who they were in Kyra’s life, were talking to each other when she stepped into the house and all of a sudden, she felt like she’s living in a movie or a television show. Two pairs of eyes were on hers and she’s not sure who she should look at or who she should greet first.

“Kyra Harrier,” Ryan said her name, the way he always said and she hated her body for betraying her as shivers ran down her spine when he stepped forward and embraced her. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Kyra replied. She saw Niall looking at her with questions in his eyes and she simply mouthed, The Ryan to him and understanding dawned on him. Something else flickered in his eyes but she didn’t get to analyse it as Ryan held her at an arm’s length, his eyes sweeping over her.

“You look great,” he said in one breath. “How have you been?”

“Good,” she told him. Her eyes shifted to Niall for a second but he had turned around to get to the kitchen. Having been here a lot of times, he had familiarised himself with her parents’ house. He knew his way around here and he even felt like at home here. Kyra blinked her eyes once, twice, before they land on Ryan once again. She’d deal with Niall after this. “How about you?”

“I’ve been good. Better now that I’m done moving everything into my new place.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. You should come over,” he offered with a smile. A smile that she once loved so much but now she looked at it and felt nothing. It didn’t make her heart skip a beat the way Niall’s smile could. It didn’t warm and melt her heart at the same time. “I could cook dinner for you. I still remember your favourite food. And wine, of course.”

“Sounds good. I’ll keep that in mind,” Kyra said, hating the way her voice sounded. She sounded insincere and uninterested. “Will you excuse me? I need to say hi to my mum. Haven’t seen her in a while.”

“Yeah, go ahead. We’ll catch up soon,” Ryan smiled as he stepped aside and gave her some space so she could make her way to the kitchen where she found Niall taking out some plates from the cabinet whilst her mother tasted the food she made. Her brows were pinched together like she’s not satisfied with the taste. “Hey, mum.”

“Hey,” she greets with a smile. “Come over here and taste this, will ya?”

Kyra didn’t need to be told twice to do that. Before she moved out, it’s her job to taste her mother’s food and made sure they’re not lacking anything before they served it to everyone else. Taking the spoon from her mother’s hand, she tasted it and told her mother that it’s lacking some salt.

“Right!” She sprinkled some salt into the food and Kyra tried it again. “Better?”

“Much.” She replied with a nod.

“Great,” her mother spun around to take a plate offered by Niall and thanked him. “Can I keep you in here forever? Might save me some time from having to go through the cabinet for some plates.”

“It’d be my pleasure,” Niall grinned good-naturedly.

“You can stay in Kyra’s old bedroom. It’s not like she’ll ever come back anyway,” her mother said to Niall who was now looking at her. He had been in her room before and she had expected him to make fun of the old posters still hanging on the wall above her bed but he didn’t. He didn’t seem affected by it, in fact, because apparently he was guilty of that too. That was the moment she realised she didn’t have to hide anything from Niall.

Kyra and Niall continued helping her mother in silence until eventually, they’re left alone in the kitchen as everything had been taken to the dining room. Kyra looked around and when she’s sure that no one would catch them, she turned to Niall and ran her fingers through his hair. His soft silky hair. She leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss on his lips. He didn’t respond at first but after coaxing him a little, he returned the kiss, his fingers pressed against the skin above her hip. She could get lost in this kiss. And she would if she didn’t just hear the clearing of someone’s throat.

Eyes wide, she whipped around and found Travis standing a few feet away from them with Eliana in his arms.

Kyra could feel Niall freezing next to her so she looked at him and said, “I told him about us. He knew.”

“You two are lucky I’m holding Eliana right now.”

Kyra rolled her eyes because she knew her brother wouldn’t do anything even if he’s not currently holding his daughter.

Niall’s brows furrowed in confusion. “And he’s okay with it?”

“Yes.”

And at the same time, Travis said, “Nope.”

“Cut it out.” Kyra told her brother. “The protective older brother shit doesn’t work anymore.”

“I won’t mind testing it out.” Turning to Niall, he grinned, “Wanna hear my scary speech?”

“Travis.”

“Fine.” He huffed, but there’s a trace of a smile on his lips. “Mum told me to get you. You’re lucky she asked me and not dad.”

Travis didn’t wait for them to follow him as he left the kitchen and went into the dining room. Kyra was about to follow Travis when she felt a hand wrapped around her wrist. She looked at Niall over her shoulder. “Hmm?”

“We’re telling everyone now?”

Kyra pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. Would tonight be a good night to tell her parents that she had been dating Travis’ best friend behind everyone’s back? And not to mention, her ex-boyfriend was also here tonight. So, probably not. “Just Travis for now.”

Niall’s gaze hardened for a moment but he quickly pasted a smile on his lips. “Okay then.”

Kyra gave his hand a squeeze and a quick kiss on the corner of his mouth before they walked into the dining room.

“Hey, saved you a seat,” Ryan waved at her as soon as he caught her eyes. She looked at Niall, but he’s avoiding her eyes as he took a seat next to Travis -- the only seat left. Kyra pulled her lips into a smile as she approached Ryan who got up from his seat and pulled the chair out for her. “Thanks. You didn’t have to do that.”

“I want to,” he smiled as he helped her get into her seat. Once she’s seated, he returned to his seat and patted her thigh the way he always used to do. She flinched a little but he must have not noticed it as he kept his eyes trained on the food in front of him. “This feels a lot like the first time I met your parents years ago. Except there were less people in this room back then and I was so much more nervous.”

He just had to make that comment, didn’t he? Kyra tried to catch Niall’s eyes to let him know that that thought hadn’t crossed her mind at all but he busied himself by playing with Eliana. The sight brought a smile to her lips, but the fact that he’s avoiding her eyes bothered her. As someone who knew her inside and out, Niall knew how she felt about Ryan. Knew that at one point, she’d do anything to have what she and Ryan used to have back then once again. But surely he knew that she no longer felt that way, right?

“Everything smells so good,” Ryan continued. “I’ve missed your cooking, Joan.”

“And we’ve missed having you around.”

Before everyone could start reminiscing about the old times, strolling down the memory lane, Kyra stepped in and said, “Let’s start eating, shall we? I don’t know about everyone else, but I’m starving.”

Even with food in his mouth, it didn’t stop Ryan from talking about the past, the past and the past. It’s like that’s all he could think of. Kyra looked to her brother for some help, but each time Travis stepped in to redirect the conversation back to the present, Ryan somehow managed to bring them back to the past. That man was good with words, Kyra gave him that. She didn’t realise how talkative he really was. Back then, she hung onto every single word he said like the lovesick girl that she once was. Now she just wanted to shove bread into his mouth so he could shut up but she had no doubt that even with a whole bread in his mouth, he’d still find a way to speak.

Whilst Ryan talked, Kyra snuck a glance at Niall. He seemed to be listening to everything Ryan was telling them. Like the first time he met Kyra (they bumped into each other on the first day of uni -- meet cute, yeah, she knew) and like the first time he asked her out (apparently he spent weeks to work up the courage to ask her out because he feared she’d say no but she didn’t so yay to him!).

Kyra didn’t know why he’s retelling these old stories. None of those moments he’d just talked about seemed to matter much to him when he broke up with her a day before their final year of uni and those moments certainly didn’t sound like such treasures to him back then. Now he’s talking about them like they’re his most cherished possessions.

They’re just about to get to dessert and Ryan was just about to talk about the time he and Kyra visited a museum for their second date when Niall excused himself. Said he had a meeting he needed to prepare for. But something told Kyra that it was an excuse he just made up seconds ago.

“Let me pack up some desserts for you to bring home.”

“That’s okay--”

“I’ll bring it over to his house later.” Kyra gave him a look that said I’m still coming over to your place later and she hoped he got it before he looked away and apologised to everyone for having to leave early.

As soon as he left the dining room, Travis kicked Kyra’s foot under the table. She didn’t say anything because she knew what her brother was trying to say. Niall had never said it out loud, but beneath the confident exterior, there’s some insecurities lying in the crevice of his bones (who didn’t have that, anyway?). He’d done a brilliant job at concealing them but he’s just human. Every now and then those insecurities reared their ugly heads and you’d have to deal with them. And this dinner might have just done it for him.

***

Kyra let herself in with the key Niall gave her a few months ago. She toed off her shoes and placed it neatly next to Niall’s and made her way down the hall to the living room where she found Niall sitting on the couch with his laptop perched on his lap. He’s wearing his glasses and Kyra had to remind herself that they’re not exactly in the place where she could throw herself to him and kiss him senseless. They had things to talk about.

He didn’t seem to notice her so she cleared her throat. He looked up briefly before he returned his attention back to his laptop.

“I brought back dessert.” She told him, to which he responded with a nod as he continued typing. If she had to guess, she’d say he’s emailing his international clients. She took a seat on the single couch and said, “So, I think we need to talk.”

Niall stopped typing. “Nothing to talk about.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Bullshit.”

Niall pressed his lips together. When his eyes met hers, Kyra gripped at the arm of the couch, afraid to hear what he’s about to say. “I get it now,” he began. “I get why you’d want to keep us a secret.”

“What?”

Putting aside his laptop, Niall ran his palms over his thighs before he continued, “You were hoping Ryan would come back into your life. He’s your the one that got away anyway and now that he’s back, you could end this thing between us and it’d be a clean breakup because no one knows about us so you won’t have to explain to everyone why we’re over. You want an easier breakup. That’s why you wanted to keep it a secret.”

“Wow,” was all Kyra could say.

“I’m right, aren’t I?” Niall picked up his laptop and resumed his work like he didn’t just say something that could potentially end their relationship. Unless… unless he thought it was already over.

“I’m hurt that you think so little of me. I’m hurt that you think I’m keeping us a secret because of him,” Kyra said after she’d taken a few deep breaths. “But more than anything, I’m hurt that you think after everything we’ve gone through, I’d still be pining over that stupid Ryan.”

Niall looked up from his laptop, brows furrowing. “Then why’re you keeping it a secret? You’re ashamed of me?”

“Oh my God,” Kyra got up from the couch and started pacing around the living room. “One ridiculous thing after another. What’s next? You’re gonna question me about whether or not I really love you?” When he remained silent and guilt clouded his face, Kyra could almost scream. But she didn’t. She pressed her lips together and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Okay, let me remind you that we both agreed from the beginning that it should be kept a secret.”

“Yes. But I didn’t think it’d have to be kept secret this long.”

He got a point, but Kyra’s not going to admit that. She had gotten so comfortable with living in their own bubble where she thought no one could get in between them, so much so that she failed to take into consideration what Niall must have felt and thought about all the secrecy. Sure it was mutually agreed at first but overtime he started to show signs that he’s tired of keeping it a secret but she disregarded it. Always telling him just a little bit longer or just until I’m sure people won’t freak about us when the truth is, she’s the one who’d freak out. She worried so much about what people would think of them and now look where it got them.

“Look,” Kyra breathed out and stopped pacing, “The reason why I kept -- yes, kept, because I told my parents about us before I left -- us a secret, apart from the obvious reason which was my brother, is because I’m scared that I’d ruin it the moment we start telling people we’re dating. And I’m scared that our relationship would change once everyone else found out and… Now it’s already ruined and none of my reasons mattered anymore.”

Kyra could feel her throat burning and it was making it difficult for her to get some words out.

“I need…” Kyra didn’t finish her sentence as she excused herself to go to the bathroom. On the way there, she nearly tripped over Niall’s coat that was on the floor. He must have meant to throw it into the laundry hamper but it didn’t make it there because he wasn’t one to throw around his clothes.

Cursing to herself, she picked up the coat to move it into the hamper but something else fell out of the pocket and hit her toe. Another string of expletives slipped past her mouth but when she bent down to pick it up, her eyes widen. Her fingers were shaking as she reached out for it. There’s no mistaking that the little box in her hand right now was a ring box. To confirm her suspicion and also to feed her curiosity, she opened it.

A gasp that didn’t sound like coming from her left her throat.

“Kyra?”

She turned around to face Niall. His eyes widened briefly when he saw what’s in her hand. “Were you going to propose to someone?” She slowly got up from her knees and returned the ring to Niall, the thought of him getting on one knee and proposing to someone not her brought bile up to her throat and the box suddenly burned in her hand.

Niall frowned. “What?”

“That ring. You’re going to propose to someone?”

Niall opened the box then closed it again. “Yeah.”

Someone must have just punched her on the lungs because that’s how it felt like for Kyra right now. “Right. Well I should probably--I should. Leave.”

Before she could walk past him, Niall wrapped his fingers around her forearm and stopped her. “I was planning on proposing to someone.”

She opened her mouth, closed it, then opened it again. “You don’t have to tell me about it. I’ll leave now.”

“Well that’s gonna be impossible because if you’re leaving then I won’t have anyone to propose to.”

It took Kyra slightly longer than usual to get what he meant. But once her brain had registered his words, she stepped back and brought her shaking fingers up to her gaping mouth. Her eyes darted from the ring to Niall’s face. “W...What?”

“I was waiting for the perfect moment to pop the question but after hearing Ryan’s stories about your past, I realised that our firsts would never be as perfect as the ones you shared with him.” Kyra opened her mouth to interject, but Niall placed a finger on her lips. “I mean, we had our first kiss when we’re both upset over our sad love lives. And the first time I asked you out, I asked you when we were both half asleep because I was afraid you’d say no and the first time we said I love you, we’re both angry at Travis. I guess what I’m saying is that our firsts weren’t perfect--”

“They’re perfect to me,” Kyra told him.

His face softened as he got on one knee and held out the opened box. Kyra could feel a sob threatening to escape her throat but she swallowed the sound down, not wanting to ruin the moment.

“Kyra Harrier, I spent my entire life wondering what I did wrong and where I went wrong when all of my past relationships failed and when I met you, I realised that they failed because it wasn’t with you.”

“Oh my God.” The sob broke out and Kyra hugged herself. She couldn’t believe this. Couldn’t believe that the man that was once unattainable was on his knee to propose to her.

“You bring out the best in me, you make me want to be a better person for you and for myself and you make my everyday life so much more fun. It’s like you splash colours into my life when we started talking in your parents’ backyard at your graduation party and you haven’t stopped doing so up until today. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life loving you and filling our lives with adventure and anything you want. I’d give the world to you, Kyra, that’s how much I love you. So. Will you marry me?”

Kyra didn’t bother holding back the tears now. She’s openly crying and she’s nodding her head and she’s choking out a sob and she’s also croaking out a yes, and another yes and another yes. Niall slid the ring into her finger and swiped at his eyes to wipe away the tears before he got up and pulled Kyra in for a kiss. Their first kiss as an engaged couple and it was perfect. Beyond perfect.

They pulled away when their lungs begged for air. With his forehead rested against hers, Niall asked, “Do you think Travis will give me the scary speech now?”

Kyra frowned. “You want him to? The reason we kept us a secret so long was to avoid it and now you want it?”

“Can’t say I’m not a little intrigued by it. Heard it managed to scare away boys that were interested in you.”

“You’re weird,” Kyra rested her head in the crook of his neck and laughed. “But I think we can arrange that.”

#1dff #cliche challenge #niall

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