#probably after reading American psycho or something

[pagodazz]

How did Patrick get his name in your hc?

Ooooo this is a fantastic question.

TYTYTYSM ANON IM SO GLAD PPL HAVE QUESTIONS

this probably occurred in a past iteration, because he atleast had the name Patrick in the 80s, so I'd maybe go for the fairmount iteration. Yk, since in that one Evans mom gave Evan the nickname, "HABIT."

I really do think it's safe to assume that Michael helped pick out a name for him, because I definitely don't think Patrick is his true name, if he ever really had one???? i feel like he might have a lable, yk "the observer" or shit like that maybe, but it was never really a NAME.

I think that Michael himself helped name Patrick, I think they we're talking and he asked Patrick for his name, he wanted to know who he was. And I think here, Michael is only just a kid, he's young and Patrick was still a feral bitter being, a beast in the head of a boy and Michael wasn't scared of him at all. If anything Michael was always so aware of that kind of sadness Patrick has always carried with him, so when he asks for his name and Patrick will say he doesn't really have a name, he doesn't need a name.

Michael would tell him that's JUST NOT TRUE!!! and he would ask if he could give Patrick a name, and who is Patrick to deny Michael such a request like that??? having a name, a new identity. something that wasn't given to him by slenderman, it doesn't sound too bad.

Michael would definitely throw out a few awful ideas, and Patrick would veto instantly but once Michael says the name, "Patrick" it was like a buzzer went off in their head. Like something important and special just happened. and they both knew that was the right name. It would be the kick start of how they begin to bond more, and adapt to each other, taking account in how each other feels, each others needs.

"My best buddy Patrick." is what I think Michael calls Patrick when he's not around. those two are best friends ur honour 😭🙏

[slasherscream]

i would love to know which of the crazy ass boys gang would indulge a partner who watches reality tv? whose getting just as invested and angry and who is standing to the side saying it’s dumb and fake? (i know it’s kevin)

❥ who grins and bares it so they can bond with you ❥

Billy Loomis - This is just a bonding activity for Billy. It’s not awful. Nor is it the most fun thing in the world. It’s just one of those tiny moments that relationships are built off. The small bids for connection that build intimacy. You don’t bitch when he wants to watch Psycho for the sixth time in two months. He doesn’t bitch when you turn on trashy TV. He pulls you close, so that you’re sitting in his lap, or laid up against him, and pays enough attention to ask you the odd question or two to clarify what’s going on if he gets lost. What do you mean they switch couples?? When did they start doing that? Last week… oh I bet Luca was pissed. 

David Mccall - David is obnoxious because he pretends to be the type who is upset when you watch without him. He’ll come home, glance at the TV and gasp dramatically: Baby! Why are you watching our show without me?! How far along are you? You watched an entire episode? You know better than that, baby! You gotta rewind it, hold on, I’ll order us some pizza. Can’t believe you’d watch behind my back! This is a ridiculous pantomime that you may or may not pick up on. Mileage varies as always. David couldn’t care less about the reality TV shows you watch. But he likes the way you giggle as you rewind it for him. Or the way you light up when you’re discussing it with him. You used to spend way too much time talking with your friends about this stupid crap. Now you talk to him. Who gives a shit about whatever mindless little thing you’re watching. What David enjoys is your undivided attention. 

Jason Dean/JD - JD also sees this as a bonding activity and bid for connection… However, JD is a born hater. He bonds by talking shit. He’s not necessarily trying to be a bummer about the things you enjoy. He’s just a certified yapper when it comes to shit-talking. If he thinks something is stupid he just can’t sit in silence. This is his most underdeveloped life skill. He’s got ten minutes of quiet in him max. If he does manage to bite his tongue his face gives him away anyways. So what was the point? Will say something pretentious like: “Why are we watching people play out a badly scripted version of their lives through a screen when we could be out living ours, right now? Let’s hop on my bike and just ride, darling! Live a little!” Sir, I just worked an eight hour shift. I need to see someone who doesn’t deserve a rose get sent home in tears. Read the room. Get a grip. 

❥ who is pissed off/devastated when you watch it without them ❥

Sebastian Valmont - What can he say? Sebastian likes to watch people experience psychological torment. He’s trying to turn on the first seasons of “America’s Next Top Model" and watch a girl get sent home in tears after the judges convinced her to shave her head bald to look more fierce.This is the type of quality reality TV that makes Sebastian laugh. Watching people go through their darkest moments in front of a camera that highlights the creases in their cheap makeup is how he likes to spend the occasional date night. You had to put him onto reality tv shows, but now he’s hooked. He probably watches more reality TV than you do. If we’re being honest. You think this might be how he gets to still live out his glory days of being an unrepentant asshole. Sometimes he sighs a little too wistfully when someone is being a monster. 

Jordan Li - Jordan enjoys anything you do together. Even if they hate a particular activity, at least they’re spending time with you. Still, there are reality TV shows that Jordan really likes, such as: home improvement shows, “Say Yes to the Dress'', “Face Off”, “American Ninja Warrior”, and “RuPaul's Drag Race”. And then there are shows that Jordan puts on a brave face about. Things like “Love Island” and “Jersey Shore”. Jordan gets queasy just scrolling past them. There was a time before they became one of Brink’s favorites that their parents kept pushing them to try and be an entertainment Supe. No one is taking you that seriously, anyways! Maybe you’ll do better in the reality TV circuit. It’s unlikely Jordan will ever get stuck in projects like that now. They’ve proven they can be a heavy hitter. Proven that they’re strong enough to not need to sell themselves as cheap, easily-digestible, entertainment. Still, they don’t like thinking of the alternate world where they’re having to sit in front of a camera and do twenty retakes of “authentic” confessional room venting.

Stu Macher - He likes reality TV and doesn’t care who knows. Hooray! A shared interest… except watching these shows with him will piss you the fuck off. He has dog-shit opinions about everything. You will never be rooting for the same people. You will never agree on who handled a situation better. He’s always rooting for the asshole, it seems. You don’t even think he’s doing it to be contrary or to make you mad. He’s genuinely on their side (most of the time… he does enjoy making you mad.) Watching reality TV with Stu makes you want to kill him. It also makes you look at him funny. Why are you always siding with the bastards? You don’t think Ekin-Su needed to apologize? Stu, are you out of your fucking mind?

Josh Washington - You’re gonna try to tell me that the twins weren’t making him paint toenails while they pulled all nighters of “The Bachelor”? Sure, okay, if you’d like to believe that. And his inner circle consists of Emily and Jess? Please. He’s been watching trashy TV for years. He’s watched a little of everything. He is so well acquainted with the dark underbelly of reality TV that it would roll over for a tummy rub from him. It knows his scent. He can easily keep track of the names, faces, and plots. Who’s fucking who. Who hates who. Who’s forming secret alliances. You’ll probably be more lost than Josh ever gets. He’s a day one. He’s an OG. 

❥ who is pissed off to even be hearing about it second-hand ❥

Sparrow!Ben Hargreeves - He has better shit to do than watch reality TV show crap all day, and so do you. These are the kinds of harsh words that will be waiting for you if you try and get him to watch anything fun with you. Ask him one too many times and, like a parent who is annoyed that you are bothering him, he will begin to fill up any moment of free time the two of you have with activities. No, babe, we can’t watch “90 Day Fiance.” Why? Because we’ve got to run the marathon for kids with cancer and then we’ve got dinner with the mayor after that. You two are gonna be booked and busy. You were obviously bored. Now you won’t have time to even think!

Kevin Khatchadourian - Please don’t remind him so blatantly of his own intellectual superiority over you (he’s an asshole.) He gets the ick of the century when you try and tell him what happened during one of your little…programs. If you have the audacity to take it a step further and ask him to watch with you? He’s rendered speechless. Since when is this relationship a safe space? He doesn’t enjoy well-written, heart-stopping, incredible genre-defining movies and television. And yet, somehow, you’re so delusional you think he’s gonna sit through reality television with you? Don’t piss him off. He doesn’t even bother responding. Enjoy the view of his back as he walks away!

❥ secret fourth worse thing ❥

Nathan Prescott - Nathan is once again in a category of his own, which you might call: too nosy to not get into it, but doesn't want you to know he enjoys it. He made fun of you when you first started to watch reality TV. He can’t go back on his word now. If you were cuddling on the couch he’d have his face turned into your stomach and dramatically roll his eyes at your absentminded head rubbing. Could we focus on what’s important please? But then the plots started thickening and the heated exchanges started to pique his interest. He knew he was cooked when he started recognizing names, who was booed up with who… wait that disloyal prick hooked up with who this week?! He tells you to just replay the episode because you’re explaining it shitty and you obviously want him to watch it and talk to you about it. It isn’t for his benefit at all. Turn the subtitles on, god dammit.

A/N: this was really fun! how did you know i've been watching reality TV shows lately?? if you enjoyed these headcanons consider reblogging, leaving a reply, or an anon! a writers fuel is engagement. xoxoxo

[leoblooms]

Rachel lore stuff

Ok so I'm compiling my stuff about Rachel under the cut like how I did for Paul's parents! Mostly cause I want to have a set of how she would fit in since she's changed sm since 2021.

For context she originally started as pretty much exactly based on the character from American Psycho 2

Over time her design changed more and more as did aspects of her personality. Yeah she was more of a joke inclusion at first but like all joke things the more I included her, the more I thought about it and so.....

Timeline

So as the timeline I'm trying to set goes, Rachel was a foster kid for most of her life. At least since she was a toddler or early childhood after losing her parents. She remained in the system until aging out at the age of 18 which was when Paul's sister Jen sought to give her some assistance.

Paul, age 36 had discussions with his sister on the system over phone calls or family gatherings. It appeared like he had grown more and more interested, not only in that but dropping more hints of wanting to become a parent, so she mentioned Rachel to him. With the thought that adopting a kid that much older could be a lot easier than a small child, he agreed (much to Patrick's irritation but they still had separate living spaces so Paul didn't really care what he had to say).

To say it was a rough start would be putting it mildly, as with anyone thrusted into a new situation, Rachel had to suddenly navigate this new environment with the thought that it could all go away in an instant. She was used to rejection from families, peers etc so it was easier to switch off from engaging too much with Paul's attempts to welcome her. Paul tried with buying things and kept going that route when that didn't work. Eventually it was clear that it was just making her more uncomfortable so he tried to find things that interested her. This involved putting up with things he could barely stand like watching horror movies. He'd ask her about what she liked to read or about her life, but learned when to back off. It was the little things like that that brought her closer to Paul and conveyed that he may be safer than she thought.

Given that it was late Summer, Rachel opted to take a gap year now with college on the table. Rachel was most interested in forensics, partially because of the morbid nature of studying the dead and the nature of death itself. Paul supported this idea, seeing it as a great career opportunity as he pushed for her to decide on a study throughout the year.

Paul's family took an instant liking to her (his sister already being familiar with her and their mother welcoming her as her grandkid). By choice, she never met Patrick's family.

After a lot of prepping, she ended up going to Syracuse University to study forensic science where she met her roommate, Brenda. Brenda was brash and said everything on her mind which at first instantly turned Rachel off. She's more the type to mull over things but when someone gets that in her face it drives her crazy. They do find common ground and actually become extremely close just over the course of one semester.

It was pretty clear that she was homesick (she will not say that out loud) and frequently called Paul at night. If it weren't a nearly 4 hour distance by car she'd probably have visited more often besides the breaks. She did however, on her first week use the fact that she left behind a book to come home for the weekend. Paul was always more than happy to call and pay for the ride to and from.

Post graduation Rachel kept in touch with Brenda, they'd eventually become roommates again once they both found employment near New York City. The two found themselves in the closest thing they feel comfortable calling a relationship. Rachel was always adverse to romance and a lot of the labels and expectations that came with it. Brenda was easy going about it all and they found something that worked for them. Paul didn't totally get it and would get things wrong, Patrick didn't care to learn much about it.

As Rachel would get older she'd become more estranged from Paul, seeing him as an enabler to Patrick and finding "excuses" for staying with him. This would result in fighting and Rachel not talking to him or taking his calls for at least a month. They'd eventually reconcile but she would still have some boundaries. It would be hard for her to fully separate from Paul even as a grown adult, but it would also soon become hard to be as open and close as she once was.

Personality

Rachel's socially awkward, always has been and never totally grew out of it. She had trouble making friends due to this, being seen as off-putting to some. Once she begins to warm up to a person, she's a lot more relaxed and open about herself and interests. She's fascinated with the concept of death and the way things rot. She also loves horror movies and books, one of her only ways to relate to Patrick, and it's to a nerdy obsession. She thought briefly about the possibility of doing effects makeup.

She's still private about aspects of her personal life, only sharing bits and pieces when at her most comfortable.

Rachel has a tendency to think out loud or mumble to herself when deep in thought, sometimes making others think she's talking to them.

She also struggled with catastrophizing, especially early on after moving in with Paul. This would never show outwardly as she would shut down and withdraw rather than make an obvious show of it. Overtime she learned to control this better.

[lexygabe]

tora aikawa / twisting tiger headcanons/rewriting/etc.

(march/11/1990)

pisces sun | virgo moon | aquarius rising

INFP - 9w8 - sx/so - 974 - ESI - RLUAI - EFVL - Melancholic-Phlegmatic

general headcanons:

• trans masc, he/him, gayace,

• nobody cares but his sexuality headcanons were made by me when i was mad at wattpad bitches infantalizing him and making him their uwu japanese anime boyfriend,

• also he is little gremlin man before anybody start treating him as omg so cute trans boy hahaha gay baby. nah, he will kick you directly in the balls (even if you don't have them) and he will do this with pleasure,

• as a kid he was creepypasta enjoyer (he tortured miko with them when he was trying to sleep),

• philosophy nerd, not only into "asian philosophy", but philosophy in general. marxism, stoicism, nihilism, epicureanism, etc. everything,

• he reads this big fucking books weighing tons and they are always the craziest shit ever like "the idiot" by fyodor dostoevsky,

• i think he is russian literature fan in general,

• i think he had something that we could describe as depressive episodes, but he was never diagnosed with it til adulthood. and to be honesg tiger himself thought that everyone have felt something like that from time to time,

• probably has light ptsd,

• his friendships with nakama players (besides his and miko bond) aren't that strong like they used to. this is "when both of you start to distancing from each other and you become strangers to each other" situation, (he misses them)

• he self expressing himself very often in form of his new tricks, but also in his writing (he has a lot of notebooks with multiple essays),

• loves cartoons,

• <energy drinks3,

• he has keyhole top surgery type of scars,

• he become strika member after his whole transition journey,

• when doc got his medical results he was a little bit confused bcs birth certificate said that tiger is afab, so he informed coach about it,

• some day after training coach took tiger aside and told him that if anybody's gonna have problem with his identity, he will talk to them and he also asked tiger if he was capable of informing him or doc about his problems/health,

• rasta was first to know, bcs he and tiger went out for a beer together once and tiger started pointing out on his chest and telling a whole story totally drunk. the next day rasta walked up to him and asked in friendly-jokingly way is it safe for him to remove his muscle breasts, to which tiger replied with laugh,

• besides rasta, coach and doc. shakes, klaus and probably whole reserve players bench know about him,

• y'all will eat me (for speaking the truth) but matador, joe and north don't know about the fact that he is trans. bcs north definitely says f/aggot at least once a day, el is this cis lgb+ stereotype in tigers eyes (even tho matador doesn't care about gender identity, if you are hot, then you are hot and you will have to deal with his interest in you) and joe may perceive tiger differently when he would come out (again, this is how tiger feels about him),

• he is very critical of the sigma male trend and whole "sigma" idea in general, he even done a research and watched and read american psycho and fight club (yeah ik this is so random),

• idealist. he is close with his feelings and morality, so he assumes very often that everyone controls their own emotions like him,

• he is both idealist and skeptic,

• texts >>>>>>> voice messages/video calls,

• had religion crisis,

• he develops his trust to people very slowly,

• has mulitple accounts on twitter and makes the best trolling posts out there,

• he has decent knowledge about politics,

• watches kdramas when bored,

• he was wearing brackets in the past,

• has a lot of collections (like gadgets from chips' wrappers, TALISMANS, jewelry, figurines), but he is not obsessed about them,

• has tattoos like this:

• DEFINITELY HAS SOMETHINGG FROM HYPERMOBILITY SPECTRUM. that's why he is so flexible.

throught the series (og tv show, rewriting):

• [—] is waiting to be completed.

relationship with:

• miko: ik a lot of you ships them, but they are platonic to me.

they are like brothers. sometimes they fight for dear life and the other time they send each other funny memes at 3 am. in my head, both of them didn't have a great family dynamic, so they stayed together late at night.

miko was more easy going, so he was always worried about tiger when something happened to him. they aren't ashamed to show their love to each other.

• inyo: when they were kiddos she truly loved him in the most sisterly way you can think of. both of them are very careful when it comes to developing relations so they become very important to each other. it hurt when they had no contact with each other for years and then they become super league enemies (they never even have a talk after this).

• rasta: tiger is welcomed in rasta's house and tiger is always open to do something for rasta in return. buddies.

• cool joe: its complicated. on the one hand they are good friends and joe considers tiger as one of the most normal mates in their team, but they still have that unresolved tension that prevents them from deepening their relationship further.

• others: ?

fashion headcanons:

• smokey eye makeup supremacy,

• TW SCARYASS PRINTED SHIRT. he wears t-shirts with the most obscure shit on them

.

.

.

.

.

• his style is something between grunge, gothic and alt,

• he wears platform shoes to look taller than he actually is,

• some examples of his fits:

music headcanons:

• soft rock!! (car seat headrest is his beloved), j-pop, mcr & bôa.

NSFW:

• had a tdick at the time when he was playing for nakama,

• is into t4t relationships, bcs every cis gay guy he had thing for were super weird about him and either have had internalized transphobia or specific fantasies that crossed his boundaries of comfort,

• tldr give this man a trans bf so he could have the most non sexual intercourse.

[sailormoonsailorstars]

Helloooo mutual✨

Since you sent me an ask in reference to the fandom ask thing we reblogged, I wanted to return the chance to rant. What are some of your favorite characters/ships for tbhk, and why?? Any particular headcanons you like for them??

I hope this isn’t too vague lol, I like hearing people’s preferences for things like this :3

Hi!!!

Okay so I’m an AkaNene shipper and a lot of people don’t get that ship (they tend to think it’s a crack ship or a rare pair just made up for fun)

I personally came up with this huge adoration of the ship over one side comic and then the severance / red house arcs era (so around chapters 70-90’s)

The side comic I’m talking about is the one where Nene asked Aoi if Aoi really didn’t care about Akane’s crush on her and if she wouldn’t mind if Nene went out with him instead (it’s the one where Nene skips school for like a week because of it)

And the rest :D rubs my silly little hands together

During the severance Nene loses two very important people! One being Aoi, and the other being Hanako. And for Akane, it’s Aoi too.

I honestly think it’s really interesting to see how their relationship would blossom after chapter 72- the Terunene “date” chapter. Akane seems really angry in that chapter because Nene is indirectly why Aoi was gone. But, I think by the end of it he would be much more willing to hear Nene out.

I think they’d be each others support systems as we know Nene got depressed after the severance, and Akane probably wasn’t any better either (I’m looking at you watering can Akane official art)

They wouldn’t see each other as replacements for each others love interest- but they would see it as something to have in common and help each other over.

My hc’s for the severance period are pretty dark so if I had to think of fun AkaNene headcanons:

Whenever Nene’s really upset Akane will redirect her to watch something she really enjoys. I love the idea of Magical Girl enjoyer for Nene (projecting lol) but I think knowing her canon interests she’d be more interested in things like Madoka Magica rather than Magical Doremi/Precure/Sailor Moon 💭 Akane wouldn’t be super interested in that sort of thing but after watching it with Nene a few times he finds himself wrapped up in the lore and maybe even starts relating to Homura 😭 given the time loop based losing a crush stuff

Unlike Aoi- Nene loves rain and storms! She likes the adrenaline. As long as she’s warm and under a waterproof jacket she likes it. She’s the sort of person to lay in the grass and just let the water hit her face to me. So, sometimes if a storm starts she’ll shoot Akane a text that she’s coming over and then drags him outside to dance in the rain :D

Nene usually ends up freezing cold after this so Akane has to dry her hair off with a towel and get the space heater and blankets out. He sort of lectures her about how she needs to listen to him and be more careful, but it’s out of concern - not to be mean.

on this note of hair , Nene has thick curly hair! I like to hc that she flat irons it to try and fit in with Aoi and the others because curl care can be a night mare as someone who struggles with it. Her hair gets super frizzy sometimes and she finds it easier to just iron it. Akane tries to tell her that he likes her natural hair, and helps her comb tangles out gently. This ends up leading to her deciding to stop straightening it every day.

As we know from one of the side comics, Akane has a book shelf full of books that all have a character named Aoi in it. I think Nene would find that a little silly, but drag her interest so much that she ends up slowly reading all of them and then discussing them with Akane- like an Aoi book club 🔥

I also think that on her own Nene would probably read some crazy stuff that Akane wouldn’t exactly expect. She’d be scrolling through an e-book on her phone until Akane finally looks over and realizes she’s reading a detailed murder scene from American Psycho

Akane on the other hand would read old timey romances I think. Stuff with Princes/Knights and Princesses. I also think he’d start getting into the psych horror magical girl genre because of Nene. He’d really love watching Revolutionary Girl Utena :) I do love transfem Akane hc’s so he’d either relate to Utena because he sees himself in her and gender euphoria OR he would just see himself and Aoi in it… like having the right spirit despite it being the WLW of all time

Whenever Nene’s too busy or depressed to take care of her hamsters Akane will take over. He tells her that it’s a chore and he only does it because he loves her- but he’s secretly really attached to them and gives them silly nicknames because Nene’s given names are usually pretty extreme haha

Okay that’s a lot but I hope it’s good to read >:D I adore these two I wanna put Akane under a microscope and psychoanalyze him

[encasedinobsidian]

Thoughts on writing - June 16 

I don’t expect anyone to read this, but I meant for this tumblr to be specifically for my writing after all, so I figure this is the place to put these thoughts, and anyone is welcome to read them if interested. I’m just reflecting on myself as a writer, how I relate to this hobby, and about feeling discouraged/lacking in meaning, and trying to figure out where to go with it when there are no clear paths ahead. 

I feel like I vent to my friends often but never really try to articulate my thoughts the way I do when I actually write, so maybe writing about writing will help me sort it out for myself. 

I never meant for writing to become much of anything at all. I started writing a fanfic, thought it was funny, and my intention was to post it and move on like I always move on from any other hobby, following the same pattern of interest → hyperfixation → creating something → getting bored → discovering something new. I had no experience with writing or fandom, and it was thanks to a tiktok on my FYP that I even discovered Pedro boy fanfic in the first place, though I found it insanely weird at first. My eventual amusement obviously turned into something much more significant, and I’ve found a lot of personal healing through writing, discovered different sides of myself, developed the ability to sustain the attention needed to read a full length book, etc. I guess the difficulty is knowing where to go with it. 

It’s funny - I frequently find myself thinking this sucks, why am I doing this, nothing interesting will come of this, my brain is empty, fuck this, about writing. And I say those things but then I write anyway. I say I’m done with it and thanks for the past 15 months, I’m out, and then a few hours later I’m on my doc coming up with something. I can’t really stop at this point, it’s like my internal monologue got a physical manifestation and now it’s something I just do. At any given time, I can open my docs and add something to some story, regardless of where I am. It’s like a reflex at this point, and I have no control over it. I put my hands on the keyboard and things just come out one way or another. 

I frequently feel like I’ve reached the end of my own ability, though, or the end of what I’m capable of creating. I was never an avid reader, so there’s a foundational understanding of storytelling that I largely feel like I don’t have. I’ve read more in 2024 than I have in my whole life, actually finishing books instead of reading the first quarter over and over, so I essentially feel a bit dumb or lacking in knowledge about what makes a story interesting. I really, truly have no idea what I’m doing, I don’t know any conventions I’m supposed to follow. I pretty much know the concept of “showing not telling” and that’s it. I also know the typical series buildup of the angst peaking, conflict, resolution, which I'm now trying not to do so I don't repeat myself too much across series. I’ve also read a lot of things (both books and fics) that I very much enjoy but that don’t match my inner voice at all really, and ended up feeling less than as a writer because certain styles of writing don’t come naturally to me. Reading American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis was the first time I read something and thought, wow, this actually reads very naturally to me, especially after a year of feeling like my inner voice is wrong or oversimplified or dumbed down. 

And even though we all write for ourselves, we are all affected by our audience. I’ve been sort of brutal in unintentionally cutting down my own audience by moving platforms and no longer writing the things that gained me my following in the first place, and I guess I’ve done it as part of my constant, neverending, extreme need for authenticity of some sort, and a hatred for being boxed in or expected to do things I don’t want to do. Truthfully, I don’t know what my audience wants from me, and even if I knew, I probably wouldn’t be able to cater to it. If I put out a poll and asked what people wanted to see from me, the overwhelming majority would likely say Joel Miller with no real specifics on what type of story they’d want to see, or they’d want my rendition of something they’re already familiar with. And there’s nothing wrong with that at all, I’m very flattered by everyone enjoying my takes on that man, but I guess I’m in this place where I’ve spent so much goddamn time on writing and I need to figure out who I am as a writer completely outside of that. 

One of my writing colleagues said that I’m very mercurial, and I’d never thought much about that word at all despite how well it describes how I’ve been my entire life. I can never seen to make up my mind on things, and I’m frequently changing, removing stuff, my writing style changes as I deepen my understanding of the story, my characters etc, as I take more things into consideration and expand my own view. 

To put it in Patrick Bateman terms: this reflection…. Has meant…. Nothing. And it’s true - there is no real meaning to it, cause it’s me sitting here at 6pm, looking out my window and trying to find meaning and direction in a hobby that is a completely open landscape, and where it seems like publishing is the only real goal one can have. Either that or internet success. I don’t know, I’m not sure where I’m going with any of it and who will want to read it. I guess I have a fear that everyone who has ever followed me only wants me around as yet another source of endless Joel fic and that nobody really has an interest in my writing for what it is, or for the writer I am. I don’t try to be like anyone else - everyone sees things differently, and my fics are just a representation of how all these different scenarios look in my mind. My hope is that the people who enjoy my writing regardless of characters enjoy my writing because they enjoy my POV, or enjoy the attention paid to the things I emphasize. 

Maybe I’ll come up with something more concise next time, but this has been my writing journal entry for now !! 

[ollierachnid]

9/12/14!!

9. Great book with a bad cover.

My copy of "The Shape of Darkness" by Laura Purcell has the worst of the 3 released covers, I think it looks remarkably bland. It's not... horrific, but given the plot of the book and the themes/motifs that run throughout it, it's just so dull and lazy lol. Some of the alternate covers are much nicer. (Mine on left)

12. Weirdest book you own

& 14. A book you love but wouldn’t really recommend to others.

I'm wrapping both of these into one answer because I'd probably pick the same book for both questions. Again, I don't have my own copy on me, lol. But:

"Exquisite Corpse", I don't even know if i can say I "love" it, but it definitely makes me feel something visceral and horrific. It's stuck with me and some of the most palpable prose I've ever read. Makes me want to peel off my skin after

(Other "non recommends" that I love would include A Clockwork Orange and American Psycho, for 'misinterpretation as a dudebro' reasons lol)

[krankittoeleven]

Can I do an offshoot of a tag game? inspired by the TV show tag game: Rules: 10 (non-ancient) books for people to get to know you better, or that you just really like.

I was tagged by @aeide and @brasideios

Boooks! I'm going to aim for a variety here, though a lot of these will probably lean to horror, but believe me, there is variety in horror lol. These are all the first things that came to mind in no particular order, except the first book which is...just...always...there.

This got long so I put it below a cut.

House of Leaves by Mark Z Danielewski - if I ever figure out what it is about haunted or weird houses, liminal spaces, and abandoned places etc. that I enjoy so much I think I will figure out something about myself. I mean, I know it has to do with solitude and emptiness or something, but it has to be more than that. Anyway, HOL is insane in its presentation, and I think should be experienced at least once, but it takes several readings to see everything (I think this will be perfectly clear after reading it once, but I know not everyone can devote that much time to one book). My favorite fun fact that I've heard about HOL is that MZD didn't intend to write a horror story, but instead a romance, and it just happened to take place in what some people consider a spoopy book.

Last Chance to See by Douglas Adams & Mark Carwardine - I think if I were to HIGHLY RECOMMEND any book on this list for a broad audience, this would be THE ONE. The premise is that DNA and Mark go on trips around the world to seek out some of the most endangered animals on the planet and to bring to the public eye the conservation efforts etc. surrounding those animals (this was in the 90s). The book is funny, inspirational, heartwarming and heartbreaking, sometimes bleak, sometimes delightful, and always fascinating. It has inspired a lot of conservation efforts since it was published, even now, long after DNA's death, which I think would make him very happy. My favorite story is about their crew trying to buy condoms in China so they could waterproof their mics to record river dolphins. CLASSIC.

John Dies at the End by David Wong - Horror, Humor and Satire all come together to create an incredibly entertaining read. This is one of my overall favorite books, its just weird, stupid and funny. It's best if you don't take it too seriously.

The Terror by Dan Simmons - one of my favorite historical fiction books (based around the disappearance of the HMS Terror and HMS Erebus, two British Naval ships lost in the artic). It is the slowest of slow burn, slow creep suspense. If you enjoy audiobooks I highly recommend this one in audio, it is a long read at about 800 pages, but reading it is it's own experience. I really like reading about people exploring really treacherous place so this fits the bill.

When You are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris - I have always loved David Sedaris' stories, he has been a constant presence in my life for many years and I am always amazed at how open he is about his family life (much to the chagrin of his family sometimes lol). This collection in particular holds a special place for me because it helped me get through quitting smoking, which was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I had read the book previously and knew that the last story, When You are Engulfed in Flames, was about David's own experience quitting smoking. I listened to the audiobook a lot during that time, usually while crying quietly under a blanket. LOL

Glamorama by Bret Easton Elis - I'm usually pretty loathe to recommend this to anyone, lest they think I am a psychopath, but seriously this is one of the best satires of consumerism ever written if you can just get past the blood and gore. If you don't know who Bret Easton Elis is, he wrote American Psycho. If you don't know what American Psycho is then skip this book (and maybe skip it even if you do) LOL

Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage by Haruki Murakami - I can see why this is one of Murakami's lesser know liked works, but I think it is one of the easiest to comprehend as well (IDK maybe Murakami purists like being confused and saying HUH? a lot). There is an exceptional amount of character growth and discovery to this story and it was not anything near what I thought it would be so that probably scored it some extra points. This isn't even my fave Murakami book, but it's what popped into my head.

The King in Yellow by Robert W Chambers - I feel like I would be doing all of my blog names a disservice if I didn't at least mention TKIY. Have you seen the yellow sign?

Help a Bear is Eating Me by Mykle Hansen - look, everything you need to know about this book is in the title. Also, it's pretty funny.

The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman - much like House of Leaves, I will never get over this story. Technically is a short story, but you can by it on its own so that makes it a book in my eyes lol Although this wasn't intended to be horror, as far as I know, it is one of the most horrifying things I've ever read. Without agency and autonomy we are nothing.

I will tag @theinkandthesea @mini-uzzy @liminalspacecowboah @troublemakingrebel @getfuckedyahoo @akashadarkblade @ainulindaelynn, @erzsebetrosztoczy and whoever else wants to.

[literalite]

!!!NOT A WCIF!!!!

hiiii <3 big ask big answer is what i'm expecting would LOVE to know your top 5/faves across various media that are new(in release or just new to you) this year! so: shows, movies, games, books, songs/albums, new artists you've discovered etc

HI IMO 🫶 happy bday btwwww!!!!! heres my top five seven of this year in no particular order 😈

LAUREL HELL by mitski (2022)

one thing about me is that i LOVE mitski... i've been waiting for the new album ever since working for the knife dropped in 2021 and she did not disappoint literally so many of the songs were SO relatable and applicable to my life its safe to say she carried me thru early 2022... heat lightning and should've been me are my two fav songs from the album but literally the whole thing is no skips for me

EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE directed by daniel kwan and daniel scheinert (2022)

no bcos i walked into this movie hearing so many good things about it i was kind of worried ab it being underwhelming to my expectations But It Was Not. it made me bawl the first time i watched it highkey 🤭 something about the specific flavour of parental... disappointment?? love??? it was beautifully crafted and stephanie hsu's performance to me was unforgettable im probably going to go watch her entire portfolio ive watched the vid below like 10 times

MOB PSYCHO 100 from one and studio bones (2016-2022)

jort recommended this show to me and i finally bit the bullet and watched it in may... ITS SO BEAUTIFUL. IT JUST. clenches fist idkkk this show just is stunning on so many levels visually its my fav anime i think??? so many frames that will live in my head forever... also the nature of the narrative about Kindness without the like framework of whether its "deserved" or you're worthy of giving or receiving it really spoke to me. hats off to jort for this i'm rlly glad i got to start it while the show was airing

SMITHEREENS by joji (2022)

unfortunately i am genuinely a joji fan so i was super hyped for this album... he's got such a melancholy(?) tone to his music that rlly speaks to me i think if i seriously made music i would probably want to emulate that if even a little. my only criticism is i wished the album was longer HDKSHSK die for you and 1am freestyle r my favourite songs from it

NOPE directed by jordan peele (2022)

what hasn't already been said about this movie. IT'S SO GOOD. i love my horror movies but i will freely admit that like 80% of the films in the entire genre are just objectively Bad especially american made horror movies 🤭 jordan peele completely sidesteps that issue and nope has to be my fav of his works so far i think. it has layers like an onion i'm still thinking about it like months after watching it... mr peele already had a fan in me for life but this solidifies it

ANDOR created by tony gilroy (2022-?)

okay hear me out i know its star wars (👎) and thus my opinion on the franchise has generally been biased but this show literally knocked my ass into the water it was so unexpectedly good? and not good in a pitying oh at least x character from x series made a cameo NO the show like knew exactly what it was trying to say and said it beautifully. diego lunas performance was genuinely so moving i highly recommend everyone even if u havent watched star wars!! u dont need like all the context just watch a new hope and rogue one after the show? maybe

ICYMI by eden (2022)

finishing off with my personal fav artist of all tiiime 🥰🥰🥰 ive been literally obsessed with his music the second i found it so i was waiting patiently for this album for ages. no skip ass album i just fucking love his music it feels like im levitating it feels like my soul is being read. if i made music and it had even a sliver of this albums energy i'd die a happy man. i literally listened to nothing but it for like a week straight i think. my fav songs from it are balling and closer 2

[fiftytwotwentytwo]

Closing the Book on 52 Books

I saw a YouTube video not too long ago where a person talked about how they also read 52 books in one year and how it changed their life.

So, is my life changed?

No.

But I will say a weight has been lifted.

I initially started this challenge because I could not remember the last time I read a book (It had been at minimum 2 years since I read a book) and I wanted to fall in love with reading - I wanted to make it a lifelong habit.

Well - it certainly could have been my book choices but most of the time I felt like I was doing homework. I also thought by reading almost everyday that my reading speed and comprehension would increase - to be honest I never measured it AND don't know how to measure it, but I feel like I am about the same as I was.

What will happen after this?:

With my personality - I have recognized that I can drop things pretty easily without remorse. I could (and most likely) easily slide back into not reading books again.

A reverse addiction....

A Reverse Addiction is coy way of me saying that laziness is my real addiction.

Man-Oh-Man, I absolutely love doing nothing. I could do nothing for weeks if I could afford to or didn't have obligations (my internet persona is going from self appointed "Person Amongst Saints" (big JK right there) to a real Piece of Shit - no JKs there) AND I recognize that about myself.

And since laziness is an obvious realization for myself I started creating grand, yet arbitrary, goals for myself each year.

Back in college an acquaintance stated the "challenges" I set for myself were just punishements to keep me living in misery and I would have to disagree - yes - sometimes the goal I can set for myself can be tedious, exhausting, and eat away at my social engagements - but at the same time I like having something to look forward to - something to break me of my laziness - and it wouldn't be too far fetched to say that I don't at least least learn something new (either in knowledge or internalized retrospection).

Anywhosel, back to the books - Will I continue reading?

Well, I not going to worry about - I not going to set goals - so I do forsee I will probably not read much. In a perfect world What would be nice is if read about 1 to 1.5 books per month... 12-18 books per year... but no promises to myself.

.

.

If I do seek out some books - Here are some author's on my "booklist":

V.E. Schwab: I love their writing style - read two books already by Schwab. I have a third book of theirs already collecting dust that I am somewhat excited to read.

.

Taylor Jenkins Reid: Read two of her books - Thought they were good. Enjoyed a small discovery that her stories/characters live in the same universe - I wouldn't mind reading more of her stuff.

.

Stephen King: Only read one of his books, but I was thoroughly impressed and of course he has a reputation to stand up too.

.

Agatha Christie: I was a bit skeptical - but her mystery books are legit and I could use more mystery in my life.

.

Lee Child: This one I think I was most shocked by - Killing Floor (first installment to the Jack Reacher series) was sooo good. I think I wouldn't mind following Ol' Jack Reacher around.

.

Kurt Vonnegut: This dude has some effing style when it comes to his work - dark humor and a bit absurdist - kind of elevated punk.

.

.

And Now - Here is the list of books from my self described Worst Reads to my Favorites:

The Love Hypothesis (Wasted Potential - BS premise)

Ready Player Two (An absolute fall from grace - Made me Hate fictional versions of John Hughes and Prince which in turn made me non-fictional despise the author)

The Hating Game (IMO - Hot Garbage)

Interview with a Vampire (Depressing)

American Psycho (No Charm - Boring)

One Hundred Years of Solitude (Artful, Poetic, Repetitive, Dull)

Midnight Sun (An unreadable cash grab)

Brave New World

Last of the Breed

The Fuck-Up

Eat, Pray, Love

All About Me

The Midnight Library

Tuesdays with Morrie

Feed

Murder at the Vicarage

The Paris Apartment

Snow Crash

Carry On

Cinder

Leviathan Wakes

Grey

Crushing It

The Unhoneymooners

No Memes of Escape

Where The Crawdads Sing

Silver Screen Fiend

Yearbook

Mexican Gothic

Survivor

Invisible Monsters

Malibu Rising

Vengeful

Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone

The Maidens

Breakfast of Champions

Coma

The Storyteller

The 7 1/2 Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle

Death on the Nile

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo

Verity

The 100 Year Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared

Circe

Song of Achilles

Jurassic Park

Pulp

11/22/63

Killing Floor

The Confederacy of Dunces

Slaughterhouse-Five

Vicious (Read Vicious in late January and I still think about to this day -Could not put it down - Fun, Exciting, Dark, Read like a Movie)

RED = Cannot Stand / Unbearable

BLUE = Highly Recommend / Keepers / Will Re-Read

GREEN = A New Favorite - Top 5 for Life

[winterandwords]

Happy STS! What is the best novel you've ever read? What did you like about it, from a storytelling perspective? Has it influenced or informed your own approach?

I am SO BAD at choosing favourites. I think I might've rambled about these books in a tag recently-ish but I'm gonna do it again.

I have two. I'm going with best as in "had the biggest impact on me in terms of my perception of writing as art" and "reread multiple times over decades, seeing something new every time".

Less Than Zero by Bret Eason Ellis

I read American Psycho first, which is definitely in my top 10 and got me into Bret Easton Ellis, but Less Than Zero absolutely FLOORED me. It is harrowing and beautiful and cold and sharply observational and aggressively detached and very much the "fucked up guys doing fucked up shit in a world where terrible things lie just beneath a shiny surface" style that I love reading and writing. It totally shook up my perspective of what a story could be.

I was definitely too young to have read it when I read it, but of all the things I've been too young to do when I did them, reading transgressive fiction is probably the least disturbing. It was the first book I remember reading that wasn't like "Here is a very plotty story where the things all happen in this order and they make sense in this specific way and there is a clear and logical narrative and message" and I fell in love. I'm still in love.

Life After God by Douglas Coupland

I read this around the same time as Less Than Zero. Apparently the authors who wrote all my life-changers are queer Gen Xers FOR SOME REASON. It's gentler on the surface than Less Than Zero, but Douglas Coupland has this way of tapping into the intricacies of human nature and putting me in characters' heads and lives that I'm not sure anyone else has ever managed to do so impactfully.

Life After God is more a collection of short stories than a novel-novel, kind of written to someone (or at least that's the feeling I got), that are connected-but-not. There's a lot of very resonant, of-its-time zeitgeisty stuff captured in those words (another thing Douglas Coupland does incredibly well), including the background hum of nuclear panic. Did he accidentally describe in great detail a recurring nightmare I've had for my whole life about a nuclear bomb? Yes. Am I over it almost thirty years later? No.

[corpsecoded]

1. What book or film or piece of art has had the most influence on you? 2. What is a thought you commonly have throughout your day? 3. What is something you like about yourself?

1. oooh thought-provoking… most influential book is definitely wuthering heights!! read it very young and it has probably influenced my obsession with hannibal and violent codependency in general. i also dearly love julian onderdonk’s art, it’s what the inside of my mind looks like and one of his bluebonnet field paintings has been my phone wallpaper for years. spirited away has probably been the film to stay with me the longest, it was incredibly important to me when i was young.

2. honestly could not say tbh i forgot the thoughts i have a moment after i think them lmao… actually i do think constantly of american psycho meat bone meat bone meat. yeah. but mainly i recall poems and various quotes

3. OOO i love the way i can find joy in anything.. like yes life is difficult but each day i fall in love again with the sky and the way the sunlight shines on the trees as they sway in the breeze. yes that is what life is all about

[veryconfusedunlabeledguy]

tysm for tagging me in this danny ( @airbrushfather) i’ve never done an ask game before this is exciting!

Last song-

a thousand bad times by post malone (could not tell you any of the lyrics to it i do not listen to him whatsoever but that noah kahan song that featured him came out yesterday and so today i was just like? remember that period last year when you obsessively listened to that one post malone album and enjoyed it? so i listened to it and then i finished that one and moved on to a different album of his that i don’t think i’ve listened to before and i’m on circles now, which is the song after atbt so here we are! this is a very random comparison but i feel like charli xcx and post malone have similar vibes)

Currently watching-

fuck all, really (i’m more of a youtube person than a movie/tv person currently but hey, shoot me a recommendation if you’ve got a movie/show you want to talk about! it’s the holidays rn and i’ve got nothing better to do)

Currently reading-

american psycho (i’ve been struggling through it for the past like four months, i’ve set a deadline for myself that i have to finish it by friday because it’s been too. long. and i do want to finish it! it’s just a hard read. i’ve also read a shit ton of hockey rpf lately i just don’t know what the most recent one i’ve read is- probably something by @/hard4softthings bc they’re just so good!

Current obsession-

hockey! so much hockey. i used to be suuuuper obsessed with the 1975 but i sort of lost interest with them after that gross podcast matty did and then in april i went to a kraken game and that’s sort of been it from there!

i have no one to tag uhhhh @silverscribble do you want to give this a go? no pressure or anything but if you’re so inclined!

[wroteonedad]

Top 30 Films of the Year (via my Letterboxd)

I wanted to do something for Christmas that was both a summary and also something a little different from the stuff I already write, and seeing as I record pretty much every movie that I watch on my Letterboxd, then I figured I may as well write about it a little on here. In no particular order, my top 30, the perfect Christmas treat if you're trying to find a little movie to give your family some Christmas cheer.

Charade (1963)

This film is if you imagine House of Gucci except for it's a bunch of blokes trying to frame and murder each other and one of them has stolen the heart of Audrey Hepburn. This film mixes both humour and drama perfectly, and you can play a fun game where you can take a shot for every plot twist in the film. Letterboxd says I rated it 4/5 so that means I recommend it.

Uncut Gems (2019)

I watched this movie for the first time the day that I'd sent off my pcr test to find out if I had Covid (I did) so watching this was an absolute whirlwind after overdosing on cough syrup and laying in bed with a fever. This movie was the first time I'd ever seen Julia Fox in anything which is cool and that pimped out Furby.... I think about him a lot. I rated this 4 stars on Letterboxd so another recommendation.

Scooby Doo (2002)

No, not the movie where Velma wears the latex suit, the first movie. I feel like every Scooby Doo movie is just as chaotic and pretty much the same which is why I probably can't remember the plot to this. I was even more confused to read my Letterboxd review which just says 'i like the bit when mr bean turns into an oompa looma'. 5 stars though.

The Lighthouse (2019)

Truth be told, I hated this movie and my flatmates were very upset to learn that I didn't like it. It becomes funnier when you have the Vine boom noise playing in a video behind it though, it's like having an extra jumpscare. Sorry film bros, I just couldn't hack it. I rated it 0.5 stars meaning it was one of two of the lowest scoring films on my Letterboxd.

Jumbo (2020)

This movie is very French, and if you've watched enough French movies then you will know exactly what I mean by this. Without spoiling the plot too much, this is about a young woman who falls in love with a fairground ride. Very French core. You'll have to watch the rest of the movie to find out how that romance goes. This was given a 4 star rating.

American Psycho (2000)

Do I like this movie or do I just like all the memes that have come with this movie? In terms of a fairly recent cult classic, this is the correct type of movie, but I was even more surprised to learn that the Reddit dreamboat character doesn't own any branded knives, despite the amount of money he has. I rated this a solid 3.5 stars. Solid, like the film plot.

Norbit (2007)

I don't understand why there are so many copies of this movie on the shelves of CEX, it's a bit of an underrated masterpiece really. Put the heroin chic style fatshaming jokes aside, I actually find some of it pretty funny. Mostly the church scene at the end. Rated this 5 stars because I would buy every copy on the shelves.

Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me (1992)

As far as a pre-origin story goes to the original show, I think this really hits the nail on the head. It's not the story that we wanted, it's the story we needed. The random appearance from David Bowie was a bit out of this world, like the whole movie. Though I think I need to finish watching The Return and then come back to this movie so everything starts to make a little bit more sense. A solid 3 star rating, though it'll probably go up the next time I've seen it.

Macross: Do You Remember Love? (1984)

Another movie that is based on a narrative from a TV show, except you don't need to watch the show to go straight on to the movie. If you're a fan of Neon Genesis Evangelion and you're feeling a little bit feminine then this is the thing for you. Space girl sings and space things happen. Another 3 star rating.

Paul (2011)

My Letterboxd review reads; 'they did something. i'm not sure what,,, but they did something' and I think that's all I need to say about whether or not I recommend this. 2 stars.

Boiling Point (2021)

If you're British and you've ever worked in hospitality then this is the film that you'll just get. I loved this film. Angry swearing man, lots of people doing gear and an absolute shitshow from start to finish. Gave this a hard 4.5 stars and would recommend to anyone.

The Love Witch (2016)

Aesthetically wise, this has to be one of the nicest movies out there. Taking lots of inspiration from the 60s both in looks and also the overall vibe of the movie. The problem being, the plot feels a little bit empty. It's wonderful in terms of how feminist it is, but that's really all it has going for it. Another solid 3 star film.

The Gentlemen (2019)

I was minding my own business popping into the coffee shop I always go to on my days off when Raz asked me what my favourite film was at the moment; he then proceeded to lecture me because I hadn't seen this and sent me home as homework to watch it. I did. I'll tell you what, it was so worth it. The cast line up is incredible and the plot is just as solid. Proper man film full of classic laughs. Loved it. Gave it a nice 3.5 star rating.

Decision To Leave (2022)

This was the film that I'd told Raz was my favourite at the time. I'd just gone to see it in the cinema and it was just as dark and gripping as I would expect it to be. The subplot aligns with the main plot wonderfully to create a rather depressing ending. 4 stars.

The Interview (2014)

It's a Seth Rogan movie, you probably know how this one is going to go. I used to really like this film a good few years ago, but watching it back this year, I realised the only funny part was Kim Jong-Un riding around to Fireworks in his tank. I gave this a three star rating which is probably a little bit too nice.

Starstruck (2010)

Imagine you're the dude that played Chad Dylan Cooper on Sonny With a Chance and Disney asked you to play some blonde heartthrob dude for an upcoming tween movie they had in mind. This was the end result. The soundtrack features some bangers and the whole film is just full of feelgood vibes. Can't really go wrong here. I rated it 2.5 stars purely based on it being a Disney movie. The plot isn't great, but boy is it fun.

Napoleon Dynamite (2004)

The easiest way to explain this movie is that it's an Adult Swim classic except it has nothing to do with Adult Swim. Slapstick humour, autism and bad dancing all curate the wonderful comic masterpiece that is Napoleon Dynamite. Remember to vote for Pedro. 4 stars.

Suspiria (1977)

What I really love about this film is that it really doesn't make much sense at all. In fact, it's one of those films that didn't need to be made, but I'm really glad it did. It mixes really bad sound editing so you can't hear what anyone is saying and when you can hear the actors speak, it's because they've dubbed over the original lines because when it was filmed you couldn't hear what they were saying. The colours and the overall setting is magical and insane and for that reason I loved this movie. 4 and a half stars for a pioneering woman horror classic.

Her (2013)

The Joker falls in love with robot lady, or the infamous Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson). Except this is a very heartfelt story and might actually leave a tear in your eye after watching. Feels like watching a sappy episode of Black Mirror. I rated this 4 stars because I loved the movie enough to buy a physical copy of it.

The Tinder Swindler (2022)

I mean yeah that happened. The only reason I watched this was because Don't Fuck With Cats was made so well,,,, I was left majorly whelmed by this documentary. I gave this three stars for pity on all the lovely ladies he swindled. (don't even think this counts as a movie really).

Contagion (2011)

This movie was far too ahead of its time to be made. I don't need to explain the synopsis to this movie because we already lived through it. My grandma hated living through covid, but she sure loved watching this movie. 4 stars.

The Worst Person In The World (2021)

Just wanted to ask which one of the three main characters was the worst person in the world because they were all equally as bad as each other. I rated this 5 stars and I think if you haven't watched this already, then you should.

Little Joe (2019)

Little Joe could have been one of the most interesting films in the world if the director had decided to not ensure most of the film was just filler. This felt like it was a good 40 minutes too long and literally nothing happened for the last hour. The concept of this film is really cool, but it is like watching a really shit episode of Black Mirror, I rated this 2.5 stars.

The Pacifier (2005)

If you've ever thought about the idea of having Vin Diesel as your personal home counsellor then you've come to the right place. There's lots of scenes of this man both screaming and also saving lives. It's a movie you can both laugh to and also have on as background noise while you take a nap. 4 stars.

In Bruges (2008)

They're filming midgets. 4 stars for the midgets being filmed.

Borat (2006)

Made during the days where Sacha Baron Cohen was still pretty funny and not just using any form of slightly racist joke to make a person laugh. Borat sometimes almost feels like a loveable character. Bonus points for Pamela Anderson as Pamela Anderson. 3 stars.

Personal Shopper (2016)

This film feels like Kristen Stewart begging you to watch her in a movie that isn't Twilight to prove to you that she can act and that she has more than one facial expression. As it turns out, she still only has one facial expression and I find it hard to feel any form of emotion to her character at any point. I gave this a friendly three stars.

Bratz: Fashion Pixiez (2007)

Did anyone ever notice in the film that Cymbeline's dad was pretty much the same model as Fiona's dad in Shrek? I bet you didn't. Now you'll have to rewatch the film again to find that. As far as mid goes, this is the most mid Bratz film out there, the only cool thing is their outfits and that is why it was given a 5 star rating. Vibes only.

Zoolander (2001)

I'll be real with you here. This is not the movie I expected to be writing about, this movie is the last minute thrill of the year. The whole year, my TikTok has been graced with videos of Patrick Bateman with the sigma male captions underneath them, until about literally 5 days ago. My fyp plagued with that one clip of Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson pouting at each other on the red carpet. I knew I had to go back and watch the film. This is a break the scale rating of a film honestly. So many random people in it. George Costanzas dad, Paris Hilton and ,,,, David Bowie. Loved this.

Death Becomes Her (1992)

This film has got to be one of the most camp films out there, When I decided to watch this film, the plot was something I was not expecting at all, but boy were they all so real for this. Humour and discussion of women and their insecurities all perfectly blended into one. My Letterboxd review reads, 'this film made me cut my ingrown chin hair off, thanks Meryl Streep' and if that doesn't convince you to watch the film, then I don't know what will.

Well there you have it. I think this list is a perfect compilation of movies. Ones for the family, movies to scream to, movies to fall asleep to. But most of all, no matter what happens this Christmas, there is at least one movie in this list that will match the exact vibe of how it went with your family. And finally, as Gossip Girl says,,,, have a happy jolly holiday. Xoxo, Gossip Girl.

[kinetic-elaboration]

December 29: Halloween H20

Finally watched Halloween H20 and aaaaaah it was so good! It was so good that I feel in retrospect that 4, 5, and, 6, and also honestly 2, are so much more of a slog than I felt at the time. I mean they were fine, whatever, but this movie!!!!!!!!

First, I loved that it was bold enough to move out of Illinois/middle American suburbia and to a Northern California prep school environment, and yet it was so true to the original Halloween in spirit that it felt more faithful than the other sequels that kept the outer trappings but turned the core of the franchise into just another slasher.

It also had a lot of great callbacks and references that wouldn't mean anything one way or another to people who haven't seen Halloween but were a lot of fun for people like me who know the original very well. Molly seeing Michael outside the window during class. The kids running into Laurie in the street. The boyfriend bringing the pumpkin for him and Laurie to carve. The teenagers pairing off on Halloween night. Laurie telling the kids to go and call the police while she confronts Michael herself.

I also loved that this movie was a STORY first. It wasn't a series of horror tableaux barely strung together with a plot or just an excuse for gruesome kill after gruesome kill. Much like Halloween (1978), it spent a lot of time building up suspense during the day time and only turned into a dark, violent slasher during the last 20 minutes. The ultimate kill count was pretty small--3 off screen deaths, 3 seen deaths, plus Michael's death. Or "death," whatever. (I already know I'm going to hate Resurrection but anyway....) Similarly, I'm glad they skipped the incongruous soft core pornography, and that the sexiest scene was between Laurie and her boyfriend. Even the comparatively less interesting slash-fest toward the end had some really great fight choreography and great timing throughout.

I thought the characters were a lot of fun, too. I really cared about all of them, and I was getting a little worried about seeing all of them die. The other couple were the least interesting, and fine slasher victims, though, and so the only death that really hurt was the boyfriend's. I liked that there was time for humor and lots (lots!) of Psycho references. And I loved Ronny and his erotica writing--he and his wife are literally one of my favorite couples of cinema and we don't even see her.

And finally, I missed Laurie so much. The Thorn Trilogy was really lacking in Laurie Strode. I think this future for her is spot on, exactly what I want for her, and what I believe: that the serious and committed babysitter would be a teacher and Headmistress, that the traumatized teenager would have problems with drugs and alcohol, not to mention trust and over-protectiveness, that the first and best final girl would nevertheless remain strong and successful, and that she would bravely confront Michael and continue to pursue HIM until she was sure he was dead.

I think there's something interesting to the idea that Laurie and Michael are always connected, that whatever has brought them together (being siblings or...whatever) means that he will always find her and he will always live while she lives. I liked that there was minimal explanation for where he was since Halloween II or why he's come out of hiding now. He just is. He's just evil, he's the boogeyman, and he's LAURIE'S boogeyman, and so he will always follow her. It was interesting that when she told him to move, he moved, and when she told him to get up, he got up, and when he reached his hand out to her, she reached hers out to him, almost as if she couldn't help it.

The only thing I didn't like that much was the Myers mask, which is a very small complaint. It just looked... too blank, not quite right. But overall, a really great film, probably just about the equal of Halloween (1978), and right now, the only sequel I want to acknowledge.

I read a little bit on Resurrection and only my insistence on watching literally all of them no matter what will force me to watch it. It's going to be so bad.... Ugh. At least this one is basically perfect.

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary299

7/14/24

sunday

uneventful day.

i forgot to talk about yesterday's wayy psycho news about trump getting shot at! immediately exhausted by all the conspiracist shit i am seeing crop up on either side while we know very little about this, i can't say anything for certain but to so quickly discount that anyone would do this of their own volition is ridiculous and super irritating. on the other hand seeing people say it's not fishy because there were casualties is equally strange, to see people be like, so eager to know what this was, you know. like this is not something any of us will really possess as any kind of knowledge, probably not even the people at the top. it's a nightmare, is all really. him living too, is part of that. part of what saved his life is a racist rant to say something about immigration, i think, i heard, i guess this is only supposed. but it's an insane detail. and then that fucking photo that got taken, his ability to make it a pose immediately. it is too much, it is too pregnant, i guess this is why people are eager to say it was all designed. but looking at the events, if this was a plant to make trump look good, the shooter could have done less damage to trump, taken wider shots, anything like that, or shoot him somewhere less dangerous than the head. if it's otherwise, i imagine they would not have missed. seeing people say they want to read dave mcgowan because of this drives me cuhrayzyyy.

obviously, noah dillon of the hellp is calling this "the most iconic political event since 9/11",

i suppose in some sense it is, or something. it's certainly disturbing to me that the image produced, of trump fist pumping, feels like the most "virile" fantasy of america instantiated, it's the fascistic dream actualized, it has become bodily, and to take the photo at all, to not run, to take the photo of trump doing that, to frame it as well as you can, you know, to do that is demented, the total lack of self preservation to do that, it is hideously american, super-careerist fantasy.

anyway, there's i guess a lot you can say about this, it feels like it's secured his win. it also makes me wonder if things will get worse for people who aren't the norm, or if truly nothing will happen. the right is on the rise but this country, it is hard to have any centralized action beyond just electoral shit, i think, maybe i hope, ignorantly. i guess it is ignorant, racists have always been able to accomplish more than seems imaginable, more diffuse now, the intolerant really have easier ways to communicate, keep their kids in homeschooling, creating a whole separate ecosystem, if those drives turn dominant, what becomes of all others, i guess.

but i know some people really think nothing's gonna happen.

it just all feels rather, whatever you do to look at it, dour, stupid, i dunno, nothing good will happen but the best i can hope for is a total 0. i know some people think the shooter was a lib, or like "leftist" since those are the same to some, or one woman really, it's kind of crazy to say that when he's registered otherwise after donating once when he was 17 because the dems are talking about putting trump in the "bullseye" at other times and talking up him being a threat to democracy.

anyway. ... like... #whateverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

so what else.

today i recorded vocals for one song!! tomorrow i'm gonna try another, and gonna try write lyrics for something else. i also reinstalled some stuff but idk if it really helped out. very frustrated by that, but what can i do, idk. it's a weird issue, it's like utterly new to me at this point, i do not have any idea other than maybe a windows update fucking something up? but idk what that'd do really. to be honest. maybe i need to reinstall waves? that's such a fricking pain though. it does make music harder to wanna do. maybe a good thing, so i can focus on other stuff? maybe, to be honest.

anyway, beyond the vocals, i also did write a couple other little things, one thing's set for drums, one thing i'm in process w/ drums, 2nd one is gonna be like a fucked up no wavey emo-violence thing i think. other one's gonna be like a weirdo synthy thing, i really love the chiptune melody on it, and the bass, and then i found a place for the stylophone vst i got! so that rawks. i also got an old song re-done, for this next ep, so i wanna get lyrics done for that.

i think tomorrow i should also try to basically split this one old track in half because i think basically i wrote 2 songs and they deserve to be their own things, one half's like the kinda crazy no wave pv-y emoviolence-y thing, and then the other's like a screwed up... idk, it's a crazy riff though i love that one, it's got legs enough to be a kind of simple song riding off that rhythm / riff. somehow very catchy despite being wayy dissonant. some of these feel very music video ready, which is also fun for me to think abt.

going back in to mess with the drums in one song, i was met with no crashes, it was fine... i did switch the rendering on some plugins to no open gl ui. that seems to add some stability. crazy issue to have though.

also i got some writing done, something else tiny, like a little horror-ish thing almost. it's fun to write stories that do not really have much scope, properly short, a good way to keep in practice. although i think this is too, to be honest. this stretches my voice in ways i'm not used to, i think it's making me a little more expressive in text, which makes me feel #cute. i hope to use that in some way as i write, a new poetics to explore.

anyway, it's about time to go to bed so:

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!