#probably going offline for the rest of the day until I calm myself down

[v-lynx-2]

So .. a little jake x reader, hope you enjoy it.

Oh, English isn't my first language so.. yeah.

_________________________________________

Hannah was found and the kidnapper was turned to justice, Jake was relived to find her alive so were you and the rest of the group, also richy was found close to hannah and in now at the hospital.

You were so happy to know that they were okay and that richy is alive. 

While calling the group and telling them how happy you were and asking hannah if she was okay, you suddenly felt something, a feeling you couldn't  describe, then you remembered Jake, how he just said few words and was silent, online but didn't say anything afterwards.

The group took their own time to get together once again offline, you said it was fine and that you were happy to help, but of course jessy kept sending you pictures every now and then.

You texted jake: 

Y/n = I'm so glad she is okay 

Y/n = we did a great job! 

You didn't send anything later because of that feeling you had earlier, it was growing by the second. 

As flashbacks of everything that happened surfed into your mind 

" this important puzzle piece " 

" trust me " 

" as long as they trust you, it doesn't matter "

" (y/n) is the key "

Am I just "a puzzle piece " ?, you thought to yourself 

A notification cut your line of thought, it was jake.

Jake = I'm relieved 

Jake=  And yes, you did a great job Thank you, y/n.

Y/n = it was teamwork ! 😄

Y/n =I don't think I would have made it that far without you. 

Jake = on the contrary, you showed me how well you can do without my help.

Jake = you never let me down :) 

           Jake <offline>

You smiled, that emoji he sent always makes you smile.

But that feeling was growing faster than before as jake went offline. 

Was it worry? Fear? It made you feel uneasy.  

After few pics from jessy, a thank you call from lily and her parents, the time went by with hearing anything else from jake.

And there is that feeling again, you say back trying to understand your emotions.

You had been thinking of something for a while, that maybe..he just wanted to make sure you help him get more information. As a face, someone the others can trust until hannah is found and then disappe- 

Another notification.

It was Jessy, she told you that Phil was let out of jail. 

You said that you are happy for her 

Jessy = thank you, y/n, this wouldn't have happened without you, you did so many great things for us 🥺💖💖

Y/n = aww jessy 💖 

You texted with her for a while then back to the ground chat. 

Again, no jake in sight. 

You excused yourself and went offline. 

That feeling started to get unbearable

 was all of this for me to stay working on the case ? 

Was he.. acting like this so I help him solve this case until the end? 

You refused to believe that but his constant disappearance made you sure of it. 

So, you decided, to leave him be, not wait for texts anymore, not send walls of texts that you thinks he reads anyway. 

Not to waste time waiting. 

Hot tears fell from your eyes at the realization

 if that was the case then.. I shouldn't bother him anymore, ... it must have been hard for him too. 

You put your phone down and went to do whatever to distract you from your phone. 

Secretly waiting for a notification, anything that would prove you wrong.

But it never happened, jessy was busy that day too, you checked on the others and hannah, she seemed to be in good spirits. 

You talked for awhile and then.

Hannah = you don't feel so good, do you? 

Y/n = wait, how did you know? 

Hannah = I just noticed it.

Y/n = eh.. well, it isn't a big deal, really. 

Hannah = No, it's fine , you can talk to me 

Y/n = you went through much, I don't want you to think about this, it doesn't matter ,really 

Y/n = so how is richy? 

You tried to change the topic, hannah noticed but she didn't say anything about it. 

As you tried to keep your emotions in check, you went to read your old massages again with Jake, before they used to feel good, now.. they only made you feel worse.

Could it be the end, because he didn't reply yet.

A notification came after a while. 

Jake= if you don't mind, I read your conversation with hannah. 

Y/n = and ? 

Jake = I think she is, right.

Y/n = you don't have to do this again, we found her. 

Jake = of course, I apologize.

Something stopped you from texting right after. 

If finding hannah was the only important thing, why does he bother texting me again? 

Is it.. out of pity? .. he must felt like he owed me something..

A day later, without a text from you to begin his day, he started to grow worried.

He went to check on you but you were offline, this wasn't usual around that time, he made nym0s to alert him once you go online, but you didn't that day.

I knew this was gonna happen, she was only helping me out of fear.. 

Jake spent that day wondering if he should resume you that he won't harm you, but that is something he might not be able to control.. it could be dangerous for you to be with him. 

His thoughts did make him feel any better, as they all turn in your direction. 

Next day,

Nym0s sent an alert to jake. 

 phil is calling, you look at your phone expecting someone else, but you were disappointed.

Phil -> Y/n, hello there cutie, I wanted to thank you for getting me out of jail, you know, why don't you come to duskwood? 

A party at my place, just for you, dear. 

Y/n -> a party?, for me? Aww that is so nice of you, phil, I would love to- 

Suddenly the call has ended 

Jake = I terminated the call. 

Y/n = but why did you do that?!  

Jake = didn't you promise me something?.

Y/n = what does it matter now?!

Jake = I'm aware of the fact that the culprit is already taken care of , but you know I can't stand him.

Y/n = who? Phil ? , he was let out of jail after a false charge.

Jake = I'm also aware of that fact.

You stopped replying, why is he still doing this anyway, am I still useful? 

Of course, as a cover. 

Jake = y/n, you aren't planning to go to duskwood, are you?

You didn't reply again .

Jake = y/n ? 

Jake = are you alright?

  You decided to text him this is non of his business but you paused to wipe your tears as them falling on the screen made it harder to text. 

Jake = why are you doing this? 

Fear has found it's way to Jake's heart once again because of you, he couldn't stand the thought of losing you, but he tried to be as understanding as possible.. as much as he could. 

Y/n = I'm just giving you space, wouldn't it be better if I didn't waste your time? And no, don't worry I'm not going,  I don't want remember this again.

Y/n = it's fine , jake. .. you can just leave. 

He couldn't understand what you meant by that, he just felt how hurt you were, which made him feel hurt as well.

Jake = y/n, what makes you think I want to leave? 

            Y/n <offline>

You just didn't want to have that conversation, you already feel pitiful and hate yourself for it. 

Your heart was aching, with every second that passed. 

Till your phone started ringing. 

You thought it was probably Phil again, and this time you were wrong.

It was Jake, but why would he call now anyway? 

You tried to ignore him, but the pain you felt in your chest was too hard to bear. 

You answered. 

Jake -> y/n, please, listen to me, I want you to tell me what happened. 

You were trying to calm down so you could say a thing, it was his same voice changer and that tone of his. 

You couldn't help but remember the times you felt so happy to hear from him. 

Y/n -> ....n..nothing.  

Jake did something different this time, he turned of the voice changing program. 

Jake -> y/n, I understand if you want to cut ties with me after all of this, .. I wouldn't blame you.

Jake -> I want you to know that I had the best time of my life with you and I will cherish these moments. 

Jake -> I understand your fear, I know you wouldn't want to be associated with a person like I am. 

Jake -> so, don't worry, I will go away, after you tell me that you are okay. 

Jake -> I want to hear it from you, one last time. 

You took a while to reply, but he waited, he didn't want to do anything else but wait.. hold you.. and tell you everything will be okay,  but he thinks now that you don't want this.. you don't want him.. a person who no one can trust, it is surprising, he made get in a lot of dangerous situations before, only him to blame. 

Y/n -> I'm.. not afraid, not of you or anyone.  

Jake -> y/n .. 

Y/n -> I love you, okay!, I just .. I just can't stand the fact that.. you were only here for someone else... I know it's selfish of me, I know nothing should be about me at all! 

Just .. just why? ... why did you make me feel this way if you didn't actually like me? ..  why?. .. 

Jake -> I feel the same way, ever since we met, you piqued my interest, I started to think of you constantly, even after trying to control myself, because I know how dangerous it would be for both of us... y/n, I love you. 

Jake -> I understand how you feel, you trusted me blindly through this whole situation, without me giving you any proof. 

Jake -> y/n, I don't want to leave, I want to be with you, that's why I had been absent for a while, i want to make our dreams a reality. 

Jake -> I want you to be there. With me. 

Y/n-> .. you know.. I like your voice.

Jake -> Haha,  I love yours.  

Y/n -> you said something about proof, what did you mean by that? 

Jake -> you will know when the time comes, love.

Y/n -> oooh come on! For real ! 

Jake -> yes, now, tell me. What would you like to do today? 

Y/n -> I.. didn't feel like doing anything today..

Jake -> do you remember that virtual date you had with Jessica? 

Y/n -> don't tell me, you don't like her either? 

Jake-> not as much as her brother, but I like her idea. 

Y/n -> so? 

Jake -> if you are feeling better now, I want to ask you if.. we can a have a virtual date, what do you think? 

Y/n -> I will tell you when the time comes. 

Jake -> I love you, y/n. 

Y/n -> I love you too. 

Bonus:

Phil = hey, I didn't hear your reply.

??? = :)

Phil = what?

<you can't reply to this conversation>

[wouldduskwood]

Jake's POV Descendants of Despair Part 29

The simple task of getting groceries terrified me far more than I thought it would. I found a park where I could observe everything that was going on, but I also hacked the CCTV for an additional layer of support. She had made her way into the store, accompanied only by my vision, her phone and CCTV. Every second she was gone was sheer panic inducing. All the what if's that had dominated our relationship came back. What if she was caught because of me? What if they hurt her? What if...what if...

Monitoring her progress was only a small part of my mission. I was also doing my best to deflect any messages from Duskwood. They had no fucking clue how dangerous things were for us and all they could think about were themselves. There was so much emotion coursing through my veins that it only took one off handed comment to drive me to retaliation.

Thomas: "There should be nothing more important than Hannah right now. Her life is on the line"

Logically I knew that they had no idea of the trials that MC and myself had been through. They had no clue how close she had come to meeting an untimely end and how very close we had come to being stormed by Government agencies. I knew this, but my emotions were overruling everything.

Thomas

Jake is online

Jake: MC do this, MC do that. You realise she has a fucking life outside of this case right?

Thomas: Woah, calm down. Hannah used to have a life too. Now her life is on the line and MC doesn't seem to give a damn right now.

Jake: No, you don't get to tell me to calm down. You don't get to tell me to do any fucking thing. As soon as we were unavailable for just a couple of days, you were on our asses like we were the enemy. You know what, fuck you. You have no fucking clue. About any of this.

All I can say is watch your back, watch your every little digital movement, because I will be...

Thomas is offline

'One down...' I muttered to myself, fully set to pressure the rest of her so called friends into some form of submission. However, my anger was instantly broken when the door to the supermarket opened and she was there.

Seeing her reappear with the trolley had me almost out of my seat to meet her. The only thing that stopped me from moving was the look she shot to me that said I would be in a great deal of pain if I hopped out of the vehicle. I watched helplessly and impatiently as she packed the groceries into the back of the car herself.

As soon as she was back in and her door was securely shut, I took off without waiting for her to buckle the seatbelt.

“Sorry,” I breathed quietly as I began to relax once we hit the open road again. “That was incredibly hard for me. I underestimated just how hard it would be.”

She nodded in understanding, then changed the subject. “So...the others?” she queried hesitantly. “Oh, that.” I mumbled. She sighed. “That bad?” she asked. “Let’s just leave it until after we have eaten and sorted our own safety. That is my priority right now.”

She nodded in relief, which pleased me more than it should have, considering how many steps I probably had put the case back by with my irrational anger at Thomas. I had no doubt he would be ranting at the others by now.

Once we had moved the car around the back and hidden it as best as we could, we carried in the groceries and put them away. I went to wire the stove and lighting through the generator while she decided to clean the kitchen. The simple job of wiring the power had taken away a bit more of the agitation I had been feeling. That and knowing she was safe. I made my way back into the kitchen just in time to see MC holding a spray and wipe bottle aloft. I watched, my curiosity piqued. “And the award for the most resourceful goes to MC,” she announced in a mock ceremony, pretending to cheer.

“We interrupt this broadcast to ask what the hell is going on?” I announced as I entered the room. I was thoroughly enjoying her little performance. In this moment she was stunningly beautiful, funny and so carefree. She giggled and started cleaning once more, using her t-shirt to wipe the surfaces, while I finished rigging the power. “Success,” I smiled as I flicked the oven on.

“Do you want me to add you to my reward ceremony?” She questioned. I laughed and kissed her forehead. “I will check the set up if you don’t mind sorting something for us to eat?” I questioned hesitantly. “I mean, I can cook if you prefer, but someone should really check…”

“You go, your set up looks a tad out of my league,” She grinned.

I nodded and disappeared. I finished checking the system and making sure we were still safe, then set about opening the various chat windows to monitor what was happening in Duskwood. She poked her head in just as I was about to read, so I hastily swapped windows. “Pasta for dinner, sorry it is pretty boring” she said, watching me work. “Pasta is great,” I replied, still focused on the screens in front of me.

“You won the award for sexiest ass, but I accepted it on your behalf.” she teased. This caused me to turn and face her for the first time since she had arrived in my space. I grabbed her hand and pulled her towards me. “Is that so? Well I think your ass beats mine, hands down,” I murmured, placing my hands on her ass and pulling her closer to me. She settled into my lap and I was about to close my arms around her when...

“Oh shit, dinner!” she groaned and jumped back up, heading out of the room.

“Geez, It’s like living with a fricken chihuahua,” I called after her. “Thankfully I have a great ass!” she called back. I reopened the chat windows and began scanning the various insulting messages that had been directed at me, and even more infuriatingly at her. Taking a few deep breaths, I reminded myself that we needed them...and that maybe she needed them...as friends. The smell of cooking tomatoes was wafting through the house so I left the chats mostly unread and entered the kitchen, leaning against the door frame. “Hm, smells edible.” I grinned.

“Yep, the pasta isn’t even ruined.” she replied, taking a piece and chucking it at the wall, watching in satisfaction as the spaghetti stuck.

I laughed. “Good job, MC.”

Part 30

[honeypirate]

Haikyuu? Part two

Pairing: still not set. Probably won’t be for a bit. Tanaka fluff tho. To be honest I’m not that great as writing him so this was supposed to push myself with practice.

Master list

A/n: I linked what I think the outfit would look like minus the shoes part. 

You step out of the gym with the rest of the boys, Daichi locking the door behind you all, you take a few steps down the familiar sidewalk and look around at the school. ‘It’s a lot bigger in person’ you think, ‘this is absolutely crazy. I feel insane. How is this real? I wonder if I’ll ever get home or if I’ll be stuck here. Maybe I’m a character on the show now. Maybe this is just a dream’ you’re so caught up in your own thoughts as you look around, taking in all the details of the school, that you don’t hear Asahi calling your name until he softly touches your elbow “y/n?” He asks, his voice familiar and sending tingles throughout your body as he said your name. ‘I’m never going to get used to this’

“Yes? Sorry I spaced out for a minute” you laugh awkwardly and smile up at the tall boy, “we’re going now” he says and gestures over his shoulder with his thumb at the rest of the team a little ways away, waiting for you. You wave “sorry guys” you say and start to walk over to them with Asahi.

You walk down the road with the team, looking at the buildings you pass and everything you can see in the dark, not really paying attention to the conversation anymore. You were confused and in shock still, thrown into a completely new world was the biggest culture shock you’ve ever had and to top it off it was a world you didn’t even think really existed. You shiver from the cold night air, the skin on your arms and neck erupting in goose bumps, you hug your body to try and conserve body heat until you get to Tanaka’s house. As you look down at yourself you realize that you’ll have to do something about clothes. All you have is what is on your body right now, black skinny jeans, a white tee shirt, fluffy forest green socks, and Birkenstock’s.  You frown and furrow your brows, not noticing Daichi fall behind the group to walk next to you.

“Are you cold?” He asks softly and when you lift your head to look at him he’s wearing such a soft expression that chased all your fears away “a little” you smile up at him “but don’t worry about me. I’ll be okay” he laughs “y/n. You seem like an extremely strong person but anyone would be upset and in shock if this happened to them, so, at least while you’re here, let us look after you” he smiles with his eyes closed and holds out a black hoodie. “Here. You can have this” you take it from his hands and smile “thank you Daichi. You’re everything I thought you’d be and more” you say and stop to slip on his hoodie, the scent of sandalwood and clean laundry filling your nose as your body thanks you for the added warmth. when you look up at him again, he’s stopped by you and is looking at you with blushing cheeks. “there we go” he says and pushes the hood off your head, smoothing down your hair. You blush while looking into his deep brown eyes, you heart beat racing, his hands still on your shoulders “Y/N!” Tanaka yells and Daichi drops his hands, “we’re going this way!” you chuckle “okay!” you call back and hear the warm sound of Daichi’s soft laughter beside you as you catch back up to the group

Before everyone starts to separate you think of a question to ask “hey guys?” They stop and turn to look at you “what’s up y/n?” Asahi asks “So tomorrow, you guys have early practice and then school and more practice. And uhh what should I do during that time?” You fidget with your fingers as you talk, anxiety bubbling in your chest.

“I don think it will ever feel normal that she knows everything about us.” Tsuki says and you frown, you didn’t mean for this and you already felt guilty for knowing so much about them when they hardly knew you at all, save for about a days worth of facts. “I don’t know everything and if you want I’ll tell you the truth to anything you could ask” you quip back and sigh “ I’m sure we will all take you up on that at some pint or other.” Asahi says and they turns to Daichi “Could she come to our classes with one of us? Like a spectator for a day?” he places his hand on his chin “maybe, that’s a good idea, how about she comes to morning practice with us, I’m sure she can help out with a few things there and then I’ll talk to Takeda about it, if it’s possible then we’ll do that.” He looks at you then “If it’s not possible then we will spend our free periods with you so you’re not alone and you can eat lunch with us there. At times when none of us can be with you you can take my laptop and hang out in the court doing more research.” You smile and nod “okay. That sounds good” you didn’t have any better ideas and neither did any of the other boys, you just knew you felt a little wary about being alone in this world.

Once it was just you and Tanaka walking to his place you felt the weight of this experience press on you, making you exhausted and making it harder to keep your eyes open. Once to get to his house you smile when you walk it, it was homey and comfortable. You take in every detail as you leave your shoes by the door. Tanaka gives you a tour of the house and you can’t help the happy excited feeling in your heart. As weird as this was it was also really amazing. Your stomach growls in the middle of him showing you Saeko’s room and he pauses looking at you for a few moments before smiling big “how come you didn’t say you were hungry?! I’ll go make you something and you can shower if you want or something” he goes to leave and you grab his hand, stopping him. “Tanaka wait” he turns back to look at you with a goofy smile as he squeezes your hand “yeah y/n?” You smile back at him, unable to stop it because of how cute he was “do you have sweats I can borrow?” You ask and his eyes go wide “oh totally! Sorry I forgot you don’t have any clothes. Come with me” he takes you to his room, holding your hand the whole time until he had to let go to rummage through his dresser.

“Here. You can have these if you want, if you’re here longer than a day you’ll need them. And you can borrow anything from Saeko’s closet tomorrow if you want as well. She’ll understand.” He hands you a stack of clothes, a pair of sweats and two shirts, one plain black and the other the school colors that says ‘Karasuno High’. You smile as you look at them “thank you Tanaka. Everyone’s been so kind to me I’m forever grateful. I haven’t really wrapped my head around this experience yet but I’m glad I’m not alone.” You say softly and he blushes a little “it’s no problem y/n. Now go shower or change and I’ll go make dinner” he says, grabbing your hand and giving it a gentle squeeze before going to the kitchen, leaving you alone for the first time in this world.

You turn on the shower and peel the clothes off your body, folding then and setting them on the counter, you check your phone to see if it had any battery left and it does “I guess having no service means better battery life” you play your shower playlist that you thankfully have downloaded offline and then look  your body over in the mirror. you barely recognized yourself in this universe. you sigh and get into the shower, the hot water cascades down your body and helps release the tight muscles in your back. you close your eyes and try to breath but the familiar feeling in your throat when you feel like you're going to cry won’t seem to dissipate. You’re so incredibly overwhelmed with the weight of your situation you can’t seem to get a hold of yourself. The scared tears that flow from your eyes wont seem to cease so you try t go through a typical shower for you, as you shampoo your hair you were glad for the sounds of the water, loudly hitting the shower floor with each pass of your hands through your hair, for drowning out the sounds of your sobs, you’re so scared and worried you’ll never be able to go home. You’ve found nothing after hours of research and nothing like this has ever happened before. You finish your shower by using an amazing body wash that smelt like lavender, the smell making you relax and calm down.  ‘Maybe..’ you thought as you wrapped yourself in a towel ‘maybe this is like Narnia, I’ll go home and it’ll be five minutes of time that passed’. You dry off and then wrap the towel around your head, deciding to wear the plain shirt to bed and slipped it on as well as the sweats before towel drying your hair some more and hanging it up. You stash your clothes inside Saeko’s room by the door before going to find Tanaka.

“Tanaka?” You call out as you walk down the hallway, forgetting which door was the kitchen, he pops his head out the door on the right with a smile on his face “in here y/n” he says before disappearing. You smile, your heart rate quickening as you make your way into the kitchen. “Should I be quiet? Where are your parents?” He shrugs “they work a lot and don’t come home until late and aren’t usually awake in the morning when I leave. I texted my mom about you though and she doesn’t mind you staying over” you run your fingers through your damp hair and say “okay. Good to know” you’re standing in the doorway, a little awkward as you watch him finish cooking something on the stove, something that smells amazing you might add. “You can sit” he says and you hear the amused smile in his voice “it’s almost done and then we can eat and talk some more” you blush a little and then make your way over to the table and sitting.

When he brings you a plate of you food, you take a bite and you could have cried from the happiness it brought it. “Tanaka this is amazing thank you so much it’s delicious” you can’t help but take a few more quick bites. He chuckles and says “you’re welcome y/n!”

You practically inhale your food as Tanaka just watches, amused with how adorable you looks, eating the food he prepared and wearing his clothes, you were so adorable he hardly even focused on his food. When you were done you looked a little embarrassed and he thought you were even cuter blushing. “I’m sorry I guess I forgot about my manners” you look at your clean plate and use a napkin to wipe your mouth. “Let me repay you by doing the dishes!” You say and go to stand but he stops you “don’t worry about it. Really. You should to sleep and rest. You’ve been through a lot” you try to argue but he just gets louder with his insisting so you end up giving it with a laugh. “Okay okay. Thank you so much Tanaka I really appreciate everything you and the team have done for me” he blushes a little and scratches his neck “you’re welcome y/n. Sleep well”  you stand, giving him a smile before walking out.

You head back to Saeko’s room and pick up the hoodie Daichi gave you, slipping it on before lay down in bed, which was surprisingly comfortable for how hard it was. You heard the sounds of dishes and Tanaka moving around and even though you were tired you just couldn’t sleep. You felt too alone and too out of place. When you heard Tanaka coming you got up from the bed and made you way over to the door, opening it just as he past it “Tanaka?” You say quietly, a little embarrassed about what you want to ask him, your eyebrows furrowed and you chewed your lip as he turned around, his eyebrows raised and a small smile as he tilted his head, “y/n?” He says just as quiet as you. You debate just saying never mind and going back to bed but you don’t, you’ve been taught to ask for what you want and what’s the worst? He’d say no. You look from your hands up into his eyes, he looks a little worried but waits for you to speak. You can’t seem to get the words to come out of your throat so you just close the distance between you both and carefully wrap your arms around his waist and gently place your head against his chest. He waits a moment in shock before he wraps his arms around you and holds you with just the right amount of pressure, you can feel your anxiety draining away. He holds you to his chest and slowly rubs circles across your back, waiting until you were ready, he feels your breathing even out as you calm down and when you pull away he notices your tired, tear stained, and bloodshot eyes. “Thank you Tanaka.” Your voice is barely above a whisper, he nods “I understand. I’m here if you ever need another hug” his ruffles your hair softly, like a big brother would, before smiling and walking you back to the door of Saeko’s room. “Try and get some sleep y/n. I’ll wake you up in the morning” you nod and blush, going back to bed without saying anything else.

[chicgeekgirl89]

Mercy is Out of Your Reach: Chap. 2

Fandom: SEAL Team

Characters: Sonny Quinn, Clay Spenser, Jason Hayes, Lisa Davis, and the rest of the team

Read Chapter 1 Here

                                        XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“I want to know where they are now,” Jason demanded, hands on his hips as he paced the room in agitation. 

“We lost ISR because the drone hit a bird,” Davis said, fingers flying over her keyboard. “I’m contacting our allies to see if anybody eyes in the sky that we can take a look at.”

“Well do it faster,” Jason snapped.

“Jay.” Ray was leaning against the wall, calm as ever and it just pissed Jason off more.

“Don’t!” he said, holding up a hand in warning. “They were right there and we didn’t get to them in time and now they’re gone.”

“We’re all doing everything we can,” Ray said. “It doesn’t help anything to go flying off the handle.”

“Well it makes me feel better.” He ran a hand over his face. “I want to know why they were taken.”

“Might not be connected to the op,” Blackburn said. “Maybe they saw two Americans and thought it would be a good ransom grab.”

Jason fixed him with a look. “You really believe that?”

“I’m just trying to cover all our bases Jason.”

Things had gone to hell so unbelievably fast. One second they were listening in on a conversation, the next there had been screaming and banging and by the time Jason, Trent, and Brock had gotten into the café it had been emptied out. Clay and Sonny’s comms had both gone offline immediately and Sonny’s button cam shorted out shortly thereafter. They’d circled the whole town for nearly two hours, searching for any sign of their brothers before Blackburn had called them back to base.

It felt like they’d abandoned Clay and Sonny and it was eating at Jason’s gut. You didn’t leave your brothers behind. Not for anything. “You all should take a break,” Blackburn said.

God damn the man and his indefatigable calm in times like these. All Jason wanted to do was rip a room apart, while guys like Blackburn and Ray could just stand around like it was any other day; like having teammates in mortal danger was no big deal. “No. We’re not leaving until we find them,” he said.

“Nobody’s putting you on a plane home Jason. You all need a break,” Mandy said. “Go. We’ll call you when we find something.”

Not if; when. Leave it to Mandy to be so sure. But Jason knew that finding them was only half the battle. For all they knew their boys were already dead. And every moment they stayed missing would only make that more likely.

“C’mon Jay,” Ray said as the other guys moved slowly out of the room.

The team settled at a table in the makeshift mess, everybody eating out of duty rather than actual hunger. “You gotta eat Jason,” Trent said quietly as Jason stared moodily at his dinner.

“Yeah well they’re probably not eating.” Jason’s leg was jumping under the table and he ran a hand up and down his thigh, anxiety crawling inside him. There were two of them, they could support each other. Unless they weren’t together. And either way, with Sonny sick…

“Which is all the more reason you should,” Ray said. “Need to be on top of our game if we’re going to get them back.”

They were right so he swallowed something down, but his mind was still in overdrive. “Let’s go over it again.”

“We’ve been over it Jason, nothing’s going to change,” Full Metal said.

“We’re going over it again,” Jason ground out.

They all shot looks at one another but nobody protested further so he pushed ahead. “Ray and Full Metal were on overwatch. What did you see?”

Ray sighed. “Everything was going according to plan. We went high, rooftop across the street. View of the front of the café. I got on the scope, Metal was there with back up.”

“Clay and Sonny entered the café. Thirty-two minutes later some of Farhad’s guys entered. At forty-three minutes there was a bang and we saw smoke coming out of the front of the café,” Metal continued. “Nobody came out the front but civilians. The targets did not reappear and neither did Clay or Sonny.”

“And we were down the block in the van,” Brock said. “Eyes on the back door the whole time. Nobody came out there either.”

“Then how the hell did they get out of there?” Jason asked. “If they’d been taken on foot we would’ve caught up with them. Why didn’t we see them get thrown in a truck or a van?”

“Could have been an alley door,” Trent said. “Space between the buildings is so narrow, Davis said they couldn’t get a good look on ISR.”

“You’re telling me they took out two Tier One operators and managed to drag them down an alley?”

“They weren’t heavily armed,” Brock said. “Sonny was off his game. If they surprised them and there were enough guys…”

Jason worked his jaw. “We need another look at that café.”

He stood, intent on heading out immediately but Blackburn appeared as if he sensed his team leader about to fly off the handle. “Not tonight you’re not. Nobody outside the wire.”

“They don’t have—“

“Time. I realize that,” Eric said. “But you can’t go back in the dead of the night and start snooping around. If anybody sees you they could tip off the captors and then we’ll never find them. Not to mention it could compromise the op we came here for in the first place. Let us work the problem overnight and you can head back out in the morning.” He looked at the rest of the team. “Get some sleep. All of you. You’re going to need it.”

Jason felt the team watching him, waiting for the okay. He gave a short nod. “Go.”

His eyes stayed on Blackburn. “I want an answer Eric.”

“We all do,” Blackburn assured him. “Get some sleep. If we find anything I’ll come get you myself.”

Jason took his time heading back to their temporary bunk room, unable to stop his mind from turning over and over. All of this for some chatter that might not even be anything. They’d come here to find out when Farhad Mahmoudi was planning to arrive and who else might be meeting with him. Instead they’d ended up down two brothers.

The tightness in his chest was creeping back in and he took a few deep breaths trying to keep it at bay. He couldn’t lose it. Not now. Not with Sonny and Clay’s lives on the line.

Everyone was up before sunrise and when Blackburn saw them coming through the door he didn’t seem surprised. Davis and Mandy were both still there, Mandy looking at a map of the area while Davis had her ear glued to the phone.

“Anything?” Jason asked.

“We would have gotten you if there was,” Blackburn said. 

Judging from the many empty coffee cups littering the table none of the support staff had slept. Jason felt a rush of gratitude toward them and also a smidge of guilt. Yes, Bravo needed sleep to be ready for a rescue op, but it stung to leave the work up to the rest of the group. 

Davis hung up the phone, defeat all over her face. “I’ve called everyone I can think of. No one else had eyes on this area during the time Clay and Sonny were taken. France has a team in country, they said they’ll help if we need a rescue op, and everyone has promised to let us know if they hear chatter, but we have no additional visuals.”

It was clear from the silence of the group that they were disheartened. Hours of work and they were no closer to finding their brothers. Jason looked to Eric. “We good to go take another look?”

“I’ll authorize it,” Blackburn said. “But I don’t need to remind you to keep things quiet.”

“It’ll be like we’re not even there,” Jason told him, already halfway to the door.

They all piled into a trucks, choosing to leave Cerberus behind rather than attract attention with a domesticated dog on a leash. “Ray and Brock are going into the café,” Jason said as they drove. “Metal, Trent and I will scout the outside. Be on the alert. They took our boys once, let’s not give them anybody else.”

Ray met his eyes. “We’re going to find something.”

Jason nodded. They had to. There was no other choice.

Ray and Brock headed inside cafe while Trent, Metal, and Jason began casually scanning the street. Jason immediately walked to the back of the café and then around the side. Sure enough there was an alley. It was narrow, but just big enough for a man to walk through. Further inspection in the dirt showed him drag marks, making his chest feel tight all over again. 

“Jase!”

He looked up to find Metal and Trent beckoning him further down the alley. “There’s a door here,” Metal said, nodding toward it.

“The drag marks go right up to it,” Trent said. “If they took them into this building and came out further down the block or around the corner, could explain why we didn’t see anything.”

Jason nodded. “Let’s take a walk.”

They left the alley and continued their walk up the street. Crisscrossing tire tracks covered the road making it impossible to tell which might have belonged to a vehicle carrying two Navy SEALs. He was just about to suggest they move on when a shop on the other side of the street caught his eye. “Hey,” he nodded toward it.

“That a camera?” Metal asked.

“Looks like.” Jason thought for a moment. “Let’s get Ray and Brock over here.”

It didn’t take long for Bravo Two and Bravo Five to rejoin them. “Anything?” Jason asked.

“Lot of the same faces we saw yesterday,” Ray said. “Definitely a spot for locals. D’you find something?”

“There’s a shop across the street that looks like it might have a camera,” Trent said. “If we could get a look at that footage…”

One hastily constructed plan later, Ray and Brock wandered into the store, making sure to go as far from the door as possible before Brock “accidentally” smashed something very expensive looking. Jason snuck in the front door and slipped behind the counter unnoticed as the owner went back to yell at the two tourists who were destroying his merchandise. He felt a wave of relief when he immediately found the connections for the camera and an even more relief when it turned out to be an extremely old model with a tape. Hopefully the owner wouldn’t notice it was missing for a while. He pulled it and hustled back the truck, waiting anxiously for Ray and Brock to settle up and head on back.

“Did you get it?” Brock asked when he and Ray slid into the back. 

Jason nodded as Metal floored it and took them back to base.

God bless Davis who had somehow managed to procure an appropriate player for the tape by the time they returned. “What did you have to do to get this so fast?” Ray asked as she inserted the tape.

She smiled. “A magician never reveals her secrets.”

“Listen, it’s going to take time for us to go through this,” Mandy said. “And it doesn’t help to have you breathing down our necks. Go take a break. We’ll get back to you.”

“We’re not leaving,” Jason said. Why did everyone keep trying to kick them out of this?

“Mandy’s right,” Lisa said. “Having all of ya’ll standing around watching isn’t going to help. Get outta here.” She locked eyes with Jason. “You’ll be my first call.”

He nodded. He didn’t like it. But he trusted Lisa and Mandy. If anybody was going to find their boys, it would be them.

[allinlowercase]

If I Could Tell Him - Chapter Four

Chapter Four - Family Portrait

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five 

Summary: Alaska hadn't intended to be slingshot back into 1960. Life doesn't always live up to our intentions. When she and her friend Jackie are supposedly hit by Paul's car, they are by chance swept into the Beatle's orbit. But while Alaska struggles to reconcile her lost future and past, Jackie is unable to contain her excitement.

January 23rd, 1963

I sat in the living room, my leg bouncing up and down as I waited for my phone to charge. Interestingly enough, my phone wasn't as beat up during the crash as I thought it would be, although the screen protector was so cracked that I had to remove it. I smiled when the battery finally reached 100%. It was an iPhone 8, which meant that it suffered from the garbage decision to only have one shared port for charging and headphones. This was, of course, a mild inconvenience in the grand scheme, however, since the only task I could perform with my phone was listening to music, it was frustrating.

I pulled up the Spotify app and thanked God that I'd had the sense to download all my favorite music for offline. I needed Ariana right now, and I didn't relish the possibility of having to wait 60 years for Sweetener. Of course, none of the McCartney clan were home at the moment. I was alone, working on a few job applications. Paul's pocket wasn't limitless, and I'd already spent valuable hospital money on what Mr. McCartney deemed "respectable working clothes", which really meant single-colored skirts with matching shirts. I looked like a damn secretary, but seeing as how that was probably the only job I'd land in my situation, it was appropriate. I'd also managed to purchase a small box of feminine hygiene products.

They weren't so much for me as they were for Jackie whenever she was released. My birth control was a small implant inside my arm (there was no telling how the removal of that was going to go if I were still here in the next four years), but Jackie had been on the pill, which was not readily available yet, and wouldn't be for another four years as according to her. I rested my head back against the seat of the couch.

I was sitting as I usually liked to: on the floor, back braced by the couch, legs spread straight underneath the coffee table. Mr. McCartney and Michael as well thought it improper the first time they'd seen me sit that way, so I made a habit of only doing this when I was alone.

I got to a part in one application that asked for my parentage. The official story was that I could not remember where Jackie and I had been staying for our "trip", and Jackie remembered nothing at all. I hoped that that would help account for why we didn't have passports ("we can't remember where our luggage is") and why the English government was going to have a time and a half trying to find any American records of us. I kept hoping that there was some kind of loophole I could indefinitely exploit, like "oh, I was born in a bathtub in Butt-Fuck, Nowhere, so the state has no record of me" or "my family died in The War". For now, we were on temporary visas until whoever was in charge of us could find a proper permanent solution.

I heard a door open and shut and quickly ripped the one earbud I'd had in and shoved my phone underneath the couch in a panic. I was terrified of messing up time-space. Paul turned a corner and came striding into the living room with one of his bandmates. I didn't really know one from the other yet. Maybe John?

Paul cracked a smile at my position on the floor. I'd resolved to really only wear my future clothing as a kind of at-home wear, them being dark wash jeans and an emerald green sweater. His bandmate took one look at me and started laughing.

"Macca, that's the bird you hit with a car?" he wheezed. I frowned at him, not really understanding what was so funny about me. I'd seen girls wearing pants in these parts . . . occasionally.

"Well kind of, the one that got hit-hit is still in the hospital," I deadpanned. This seemed to calm him down a little and he looked almost sheepish.

"Right, I apologize. That may have been uncouth of me," he said. That was kind of an apology, so I kind of forgave him, nodding in response. Paul cleared his throat as he sat down next to me, on the actual furniture.

"Well then. Alaska, this is my friend John Lennon. John, this is Alaska Dunn; she's a guest of mine," he introduced primly. Inwardly, I congratulated myself on my earlier guess. I stood up and stuck my hand out to shake.

"Hi," I offered simply. John took it and pumped a couple of times. His handshake was firm, the skin of his hand warm. It felt weird to analyze someone's handshake. Is this how Dads feel?

"Well, girly, we're here to work on official Beatles business and as much as I enjoy an audience, this is secret stuff. Run along now," John said dismissively, making a shooing gesture with his hand. I wrinkled my nose at him but did as suggested. As if I want to be in the presence of this asshole anyway.

Paul snorted. "John, don't be rude. Alaska, you're welcome to stay, but it might be loud in here." I smiled in response.

"Thank you, Paul, but it'd be best for me to leave then. I need to finish these up," I said, gathering my applications from on top of the coffee table. Paul shrugged and moved to sit at the upright piano in the corner. I had a fleeting thought of grabbing my phone from under the couch, but John was still looking at me to leave. I figured it would be better to leave it there and come back later.

From the living room, I went and sat at the kitchen table. It was probably not that much quieter than staying in the living room would have been, but I liked the solitude. I looked back at the line asking for my parentage. My father wouldn't be born for another ten years, my mother for eight. I leaned back in the kitchen chair, a little lost. It kept hitting me anew how serious this situation was. Everyone I'd known, except Jackie, didn't exist yet. I was going to miss Kennedy's senior homecoming game; we had a tradition of going to Steak n' Shake after every home football game, and even Steak n' Shake probably didn't fucking exist yet.

My cheeks felt wet and I reached up to realize, I'd started crying. Oh, that was great; any moment now my vision would get blurry and my throat would get tight, and at any moment John fucking Lennon could walk in and see me crying. I could guess he'd probably have a field day. I started to gather up my things to move upstairs when I heard a throat clear.

In the doorway stood Paul. In the other room, piano continued on, the same stilted melody playing over and over as John worked around with it. Paul looked a little uncomfortable, the same guilt coming out again. I sighed.

"I'm not crying because of John, this isn't your fault," I offered. Paul nodded and moved until he was sitting at the table with me. His eyes caught the area on my application where I'd tripped up. He swallowed and nodded.

"But I do understand what you're going through, at least a little." I knew he'd lost his mother at an early age. "How recent . . .  has it happened then?" he asked softly. I swallowed thickly, my throat starting to hurt.

"Not much longer than before I met you actually. I'm still processing it," I said, some tremble in my voice. I cursed myself; I didn't want Paul to feel sorry for me, even if some small part of me was desperate to reach out for comfort. He nodded solemnly, and, hesitatingly, put his hand on top of mine on the table.

"It doesn't get better per se, but it gets easier to focus on other things as time goes on, I think. I was fourteen you know when my mum passed," he told me, softly. I turned my hand over so our palms were touching and squeezed his hand. He smiled small, at me. "I won't bother you for details, I'm sure that wouldn't help. But I'm here if you need me."

"Paul! Get back in here, I'm onto something," John yelled from the other room. Paul smiled and rolled his eyes. With that, he stood up and patted my shoulder before leaving the room.

A/N: Hello, thank you for reading, as always. Oh look, another wild Beatle, in a Beatles fanfic! And it only took me four chapters.

[clevernewdimension]

Polaris Part Four

Parts: Preview, Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five (Coming soon!)

Genre: Action, drama, romance, sci-fi, etc.

Paring: Jongin x Character

Word count: 6.9K

A/N: Ready for some action? ;)

I didn’t sleep that night. I just stared at the ceiling, waiting. I was use to the night being when all the bad things happened that I mostly slept during the day. The night, for a very long time, made me uneasy. Truthfully, after seeing him here, or all places, it brought that all back. After all, someone as powerful as him could just find a way in here. A few smiles and a bit of flirtation to the desk, combined with his authority would make it very easy for him to come up here if he wanted. I didn’t want to be asleep if he ever did decided to show up. The morning came, the light slowly coming to life. I got up, took a shower and got dressed in some normal clothes. A pair of jeans and a black plain shirt. I put my hair into a messy bun, not bothering to dry it as I made sure to place my key card in my pocket along with the communicator. I took a glance at my reflection. I looked awful. Bags under my eyes, dark circles… I look how I felt. Exhausted and terrified. It didn’t help that there was this brewing anxiety within me. Something felt off, and I wasn’t sure exactly what. But I didn’t like it.

I close my eyes, seeing that man. The both of us younger. Rhys in front of me, looking in a mirror, smiling as he ran his hands down my sides. I glared, blinking and forcing the memory away. He felt all those nice, good, pleasurable things and all I felt was shame and the pain. Of starving. Of being used.

It took everything I had not to puke right in the moment.

I open the door, moving to the elevator. I press the ground floor, leaning against the wall as I wait. The walls all glittering and shining with coins and credits. I sigh, looking around for something to do to wait for until we were going to leave.

I wasn’t expecting Baekhyun to, seemingly out of nowhere, grab my arm and drag me away. He was dressed casually, which I almost never see him in. His hair was pushed back, out of his face. His skin was also free of makeup, which he loves to wear often. He looked upset, and I try to figure out what it is I could have done for him to have waited on me.

“About time,” He says, a frown on his face. “I was about to come and get you.” He was wearing a pair of tight jeans and a tee with a weird geometrical design on it. He was looking around, acting casual, but I knew he was looking to see if anyone was watching us.

“What are you doing,” I say, following him down the grand halls, people’s voices echoing all around us in a multitude of languages. People partied and gambled their days away, from sun up to sun down.

He doesn’t reply, before twisting the knob of a door that says employees only. He pushes me inside, before shutting it behind the two of us. The room was a station used to fix artificial limbs, apparently. After all, you need to be able to see the very small, miniature details of the wiring and how it’s made in order to fix them. Quite a few in the Syndicate has lost limbs, so it isn’t unheard of. From what I’ve seen on our travels, both Kyungsoo and Yixing have. You can use tech to make it seems like skin and feel like skin, even. Kyungsoo’s left hand was metal, I noticed after he had to repair it quickly on the ship. He muttered curses, talking about getting a new one for the first time in five years since the tech has advanced so much by even just that small amount of time. Yixing’s right leg was one up until mid-thigh. Though, with these limbs, they can touch and feel things unlike the ones from the past. According to Jongin, who sparred against Yixing a few times, he almost lost a tooth from being kicked by his metal leg. Even the special forces sometimes forgets it’s metal.

I see Junmyeon and Minseok looking at a computer, while Yixing was holding out his arm for them. I felt my heart quicken, my mouth go dry as I see them scanning his arm. On the screen was a close up magnification of it, where you can see the ting robots working together as one. He looks at me, his eyes dark like mine. He didn’t get any sleep either, it seems.

“Microbiological tech,” Junmyeon says, zooming in. “We can probably get rid of it. Looks like with a big enough shock, they’ll go offline for a few seconds.”

I look at Yixing, “Is this… is it really?”

He nods, “Yeah.” He goes to say something, but I see as it was like he hit the wall, not being able to say what he really wanted. Tribil didn’t want it’s secrets exposed, after all. He just looked up, a look of understanding shared with me.

I had a bad feeling in the bit of my stomach. I couldn’t explain it, I just know something is going to go wrong. It could be this, dealing with the secrets to Tribil, or something else, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was going to happen, and it was going to be bad.

Minseok signs, “Well, if we can shut it off, we can get it out, right?”

“It’s locked in there otherwise,” Baekhyun says, looking over. “But how to get it out?”

The door opens and I look over, seeing Jongin walk in. “Oh,” He says, “you found her.”

He was quiet, looking up at me before moving his gaze to everyone else. He wore half of his pilot suit, the other half of the jumpsuit was down, tied around his waist. He had on a tank top, black and with the logo for some old movie from over a century ago. Something about making dinosaurs and bringing them back from extinction. Sounds ridiculous, but apparently what was once fiction is now fact as one of the planets just outside the Milky Way was turned into a dinosaur attraction.

I look up, seeing him look at me, eyes full of worry. Ever since I was hurt, he was acting different. Kinder. Calmer. Not as full of himself. It was a… a really nice change. He’s a pretty good person when he’s not acting like a stuck up asshole.

“We can’t use a knife and pry it out,” Baekhyun says, leaning against a wall. My thoughts brought back to the situation at hand. He looked worried, thinking and he glanced at Junmyeon. “They will probably be back online in a few seconds. That would take a few minutes.”

“Why not use the huge ass magnet we have in the hanger,” Jongin suggests, looking over and seeing the mark. The light shining on Yixing’s arm, making it clear to everyone in the room. “It can lift things that weigh over a ton. Surely those microscopic things won’t stand a chance.”

“My leg isn’t magnetic,” Yixing says, looking at them, “So that wouldn’t be an issue.” I watch as even that was a struggle for him to say. He was tense, taking a deep breath, calming himself.

I fucking hated the influential people on Tribil.

Minseok nods, “Alright, let’s do that.”

My heart was racing, knowing that this part of the nightmare, being unable to tell, could be over in just a few minutes. The second he nods, the building shakes, a loud explosion rocking us. I grab onto the wall, holding myself steady as an alarm starts to go off. The lights in the room flashing red. “Emergency, we are under attack. Please find the nearest bunker in a calm and orderly fashion.”

“Fuck,” Baekhyun says, looking at Minseok. He just moves to the door, not caring if someone saw us leaving the room we were not supposed to be in. He walked with authority, the rest of us following up behind him as he took out his communicator, probably telling everyone where we were. Leaving the room, we run out. Jongin and Yixing ahead of us, Sehun, who was standing outside the door, I assuming keeping watch when he and Jongin got there, looked around, following them quickly. I quickly followed, as people were running and screaming around us, funneling into the bunker that was behind us. Children crying, people trying to force their way in first because they felt like they deserved it more than others.

We got to the entrance, which was a struggle to get into as people were running in as quick as they could. Even in their panic, they kept trying to shove against us as we were fighting to get out and help however we could. I shoved a man who tried to shove me out his way, only to get a terrified glare back.

I finally felt the cool air of the outside as we got out the door and out of the crowd of people trying to get inside. My eyes widen, seeing a Kryton warship, many shall fighters flying off and starting to attack. To our side was president Yssa, who just ran outside, staring in terror at the ship.

“We have to get to our ships,” Jongin says, looking at Sehun. “We need to help!”

“They’re locked,” Yssa says, as if breaking out of a trance. “Your ship isn’t in a private hanger, it’s public. In a state like this, public hangers are locked for the safety of the people, so encourage them to get to the shelters. They’re locked and nothing can unlock it unless we end the threat.”

A motorcycle flyer rushes past, taking a moment to stop. They’re used on assaults once you get through a planet's atmosphere. It looked like one that was taken, not Kryton made. The Kryton on it screams, roaring, its teeth are all jagged and needle like as he just glares. He goes to pull up his pistol but Yixing was quicker on the draw. He shoves Yssa out his way, throwing his knife deep into the forehead of the Kryton. Yssa looked shocked at how quick Yixing was, his eyes wide in wonder, watching him. He rushes over, grabbing his knife and puts it back. He looks over the flyer, moving on it. “I’m going to take out what I can with this, It has a few guns on it, dumb fuck didn’t even know how to work it!”

Minseok nods, knowing that, if anyone can do something as crazy as fight from a motorcycle flyer, it’s Yixing. The man was practically a one man army, after all.

Jongin looks at Yssa, “Where are your ships, we’re commandeering two.” I could see his anger at not being able to get to his ship, but he pushes it aside as he tried to find someway to help.

“They’re two seaters, all of them,” He says, before moving and directing us. We all follow quickly, not wanting to waste anymore time. “One person flying, one person shooting.”

Sehun curses, “Fuck!” He turns to Jongin, his fleet captain. “We need both of us flying, Jongin. No one on his planet will be as good as us.” He says, looking around. The pilots that are getting ready looked like they were about to shit themselves, having never had to do something like this. Face something like this. Sehun was right. He looks back at Jongin, “We can’t just rely on that.” He looks at us, our full group meeting up at the entrance a few seconds ago. Sehun looks back to the fighting that has broke out, the sounds of explosions and ships being blasted into pieces. Shrapnel falling from the sky like the acid rain. The lasers firing with a loud squeal. The youngest glances back at us, pulling Chanyeol, “I know your eyes help you with your aim. I’m going to see you since you’re the best shot besides Yixing since I’m the worse flyer between Jongin and myself. I’ll need the advantage against them.”

Chanyeol nods. At times like these, Chanyeol’s courage is unwavering. He’s willing to do whatever he can. “You got it. Let’s go.” Chanyeol, dressed in casual clothes like me, looking ready to do whatever he needed. I’ve seen Chanyeol when he had to take his marksmanship tests that are required every year, and Sehun isn’t joking. The man could have easily made it into Phoenix team if he wanted if he just learned hand to hand.

The youngest fleet captain in the history of the Syndicate was looking at the raging battle, his hands clenched, shaking. I could see the determination in his eyes as he shakes his head, “We can’t let people die needlessly,” He says, mostly to himself as another explosion happens. The lasers from the war ship firing, hitting the shield of the building. The shield started to flicker, going to be failing soon. The lasers on the war ship takes a while to charge, however, giving us some time. He turns, his shoulders back and his gaze hardened over the countless fights he’s been a part of. Jongin looks over, eyes landing on me as he was untying the arms of his suit and getting it back on, pushing his arms through the sleeves.

I knew what he meant immediately. He wanted me to be his shooter. “Are you crazy,” I ask, my heart racing quickly, wincing at a explosion as a Kryton ship crashed next to us about fifty feet away. I shake my head, “I-I can’t!”

“You can shoot, Lyra, I’ve seen it. You saved my life that day,” Jongin says, looking at me as he takes my arm, directing me as we follow further to the hanger. There was a force wall before a huge hanger. Hanger H, painted on the wall. We were racing to it quickly, trying to avoid the debris. This place had a lot of security just for cases like this, apparently. “I saw you, shooting the Krytons. My flares were being reloaded and they were about to shoot me with a heat seeking missile. I would have died if someone didn’t kill them first. You did that. You can do this.”

I remember that. Seeing him, wondering if I was too late. If I was about to watch the last pilot die all alone. “It doesn’t matter,” I say, as we get in and Yssa commands two ships for out use. “That was so long ago and I haven’t been at a battle since then!”

Jongin turns to me, looking me in the eyes. “You have no idea. You saved my life. I’m only here because of you. Everything I’ve done, every person I’ve ever helped, it’s because of you.” He says, placing his hands on my shoulders, stopping me for a moment. “I get to see my brothers still because of you. I get to see my friends, I get to meet new people and experience so many things and it’s all because you saved me. The people I help are really people you’ve helped. You have no idea how much that means to me, do you?” He says, his eyes full of so many emotions at once it was hard to look him in the eyes. He looks back, shaking his head as another loud explosion goes off, shrapnel comes towards us. Jongin pulls me into his arms, turning his back and covering me from the raining metal and pieces of broken crystal that make up the windshields. He holds me close as I hear all of that rain down around us. Jongin walks forward, making me walk back through the force wall with ease as he shielded me.

He pulls away, looking at me with a look of honesty and sincerity. “My ship, you’ve always wondered why I named it what I did. ‘That’s the dumbest name, it makes no sense, those dumb shapes’,” He says, imitating my voice with a small smile. “I’ve never told you because it’s named Aryl. Backwards, it spells Lyra,” He says, and I could see a slight bit of pink on his face. My heart was pounding, my face flushed. Why would he ever do that, I’m not that important.

“I named it after you because you were there for me when I had no one else.” He shakes me by the shoulders, his eyes never leaving mine. “I was going to die alone. From the cold of space or from the fiery explosion, I was doomed.” I see his eyes water up, a brief moment of emotion, a crack in his otherwise spotless and perfectly polished armour. “Listen to me, Lyra. There is nothing I could ever do to repay you. I sat there, scared to die. I was on the comms with Junmyeon, telling him goodbye I was that certain I was going to die.”

I look back, seeing Junmyeon, who stopped when he heard that, his eyes full of sorrow remembering that. He blinks, before pulling Baekhyun along with him over to the massive room that said ‘Comms’.

I turn back, see the tears fall down his face, feeling a few of my own falling down mine as well. “I was sat there, thinking that I still had so much left to do and how I was going to die never having lived at all. But then you shot that ship. You gave me a second chance. I would rather have no one else up there with me as my shooter, Lyra, because I know if I have you with me, I can’t possibly be shot down.”

I was stunned, as he just looked at me, before turning as if he didn’t pour out so much of his heart. He pulls me over to one of the two ships. Sehun and Chanyeol already getting situated in one themselves. I never knew it meant that much to him. I had always assumed he forgot about that. I remember it, because he was the last ship and our last hope. He had to stay alive, he just had to or else everyone in the station was doomed. We were just sitting ducks without the pilots outside.

Before I know it, I was in a ship, Jongin clicking seatbelts closed, pulling on the straps so they were as tight as possible. He looked determined, making sure I was as safe as he could make me. I always heard people talk about Jongin, about how he’s kind and caring and would do whatever he could to save people. I never really believed the kind and caring part, but now, I can see that. It was like my eyes were opening for the first time about how the man before me truly was. I take a deep breath, calming myself as much as I could. I look, seeing a screen in front of me and two controls to aim the machine laser gun and the missiles with. He places a helmet on my head, connecting it to the oxygen. I watch him take the other helmet that was in the ship, putting it over his head as he moves into his seat in front of me.

“Mic test,” He says, his voice coming from the radio in my helmet. “Can you hear me, Lyra?”

“Yeah,” I say, my hands shaking. I felt like I was going to be sick, but I kept myself as composed as I could. I tried to compose myself, push my emotions away and just let my brain take over. Let my instinct of survival take the wheel.

“We can do this,” He says, his voice surrounding me in this helmet. I hold onto the machine gun control, trying to stop my heart from racing. After his speech, his voice was calming in this moment of complete and utter chaos.

“Mission command, this is Captain Kim Jongin of the Syndicate, officer number 0307KJI88, ready to take off, over,” He says, calmly as ever. I see Sehun and Chanyeol fly off, speeding away, entering the fray.

“Mission command is temporarily under the supervision of the Syndicate,” I hear Junmyeon’s voice say, “You have permission to go. Give them hell.”

Before I could catch my breath, we were racing off at a speed I’ve never felt before. My eyes water as I blink, trying to get them clear. He swerves, avoiding crashing into the main warship which was getting closer and closer. Jongin looks at it, “Lang, do you know how to shut that thing down?”

I push down the button for the machine gun, letting hundreds of laser shots flying at an oncoming Kryton ship. It turned into a ball of fire, exploding as we raced by it. I look at it, taking a glance, “If we take out the thrusters, it’ll fall. Kyrton ships have a place on the bottom of it that, if you get though the metal lining, will expose the Krytil crystals. They’re like Quantinium, but more reactive and more unstable. They’ll explode like a mini nuke, but without the radiation. We just have to stop it from getting closer and we can give it a go, instead. That way it’ll kill everyone on board and all the rest of the ships, if they still have some.”

“Get that, bro,” Jongin asks, as he takes a sharp left, rolling as we dodge and weave through the massive flights. I briefly catch Yixing shooting other Kryton’s on flyers. I could feel bile rise in my throat, but I held it down. I shot at everything I could that was an enemy, seeing some go out in explosions.

“Yeah,” He says, “I think we can hack into their ships mainframe and take the shield down. Baekhyun and I will work on it. Just kill as many as you can.”

“You got it,” He says, “Lang, this ship, is it front heavy or back heavy?”

“Front, from what I can see with the guns and missiles at the front half.” I reply, “Why?”

“I’m just going to need to know,” He says, as we hear a warning beep. With a quick dive, we dodge out the way of a missile, letting it hit the warship. We skirted along the top of the acid, parely keeping from touching it as he pulls up.

“Two ships on our tail,” I say, looking at the radar. “When we shoot the Krytil, we’ll be blasted. This ship will be pretty much out of commission from the blast. We’ll have to leave the fight immediately or else we will be shot down.”

“I figured as much,” He says, “I’ll have to get us away as quick as possible. We will be targeted.” He flips a switch, “This ship has more maneuverability than theirs, well get them off our tail,” He says, zooming off towards a large rock formation. It formed a rock bridge between two mountains, higher than even the building we were staying at. He pulls up, heading right for the underside of it.

We were getting closer and closer, my heart was racing. There was a few beeps of warning that we were getting closer and closer. “Jongin, you have to move!”

“Trust me,” He says, going up still, the two ships were about to catch up, before I watch as he pushes the stall button that was under the switch he flipped. The ship stalls, the thrusters shutting off in an instant. We were falling down now, the momentum from going full speed forward to now back was enough to make my head spin. The two Kryton ships crash into the underside of the rock bridge, becoming fireballs of flames. The ship turned as it fell, the front being heavier turning us as he removes his hand from the stall button, the ship roaring back to life. Some rocks from the bridge were falling as Jongin effortlessly dodged them, getting back to the frey.

He rolls out the way of a ship, ducking and coming back up before we hear Junmyeon on the comms again. “We can hack it, you’ll have about twenty seconds to fire a missiles at the bottom of the ship,” He says, and I could hear him frantically typing away.

“Got it,” Jongin says, “Start now!”

Jongin moves, getting us to turn back towards the war ship. A quick one eighty degree turn before we’re looking at the bottom of the war ship.

“Now,” Junmyeon yells, just as I see the shields flicker off.

I aim the laser machine gun, melting a hole for me to shoot the missiles into. I quickly lock on, hearing Junmyeon countdown. With three seconds to spare it explodes, rocking our ship back. It was beeping loudly, sustaining massive damage from the aftershock of the explosion as Jongin was cursing. He flew up, trying to get out of the fighting after the massive hit our ship got. The war ship was a huge ball of fire, falling into the acid bay.

We were so close to being away from it all, to getting back safe and away. A Kyrton, on his motorcycle flyer hops onto our ship. With his strength, he rips the clear hardened crystal top off, air flying around us.

“Fuck,” Jongin yells, trying to steer us so that we’re over land and not the acid. If we land in that we will surely die a very painful death. “Junmyeon, we’re going to have to eject!”

I didn’t get to hear the reply. The Kryton rips my seat belts, pulling me out of my seat. I scream, making sure to grab my laser pistol. It yanks off my helmet, throwing it to the side as it roared in my face. A loud hit to our thrusters left our ship in a standstill. We weren’t falling, just left there, floating there miles and miles above the ground. Jongin quickly takes his seat belts off, along with his helmet, shrugging on a backpack quickly, clipping it on his torso and legs.

I point the pistol, watching as he was about to shoot Jongin in the back of the head as the pilot was pulling on the backpack. I shoot his hand, making him drop the gun off. Jongin catches it, about to kill it but it was a bit too late. The Kryton yells in pain, looking at me before tossing me over the side of the ship.

All I could hear was the air rushing about me as I started to fall. The air sucked out of my lungs from being up so high, falling quickly. I see the dead body of the Kryton fall too, before Jongin jumps over the side. I tried to remember all that we learned in training. We were all required to learn it, just in case. I kept my body as open and as parallel to the ground as I could in order to slow down my fall, looking back and seeing Jongin diving to me. My eyes were watering, my heart racing as I could see myself racing to the ground.

A few moments later, I feel his arms wrap around me, pulling me close before his legs do too. His entire body curled around me, holding me tightly. Then I feel us being pulled back, Jongin holding me with everything he has as the parachute unfurls. I was lucky that he was part Etheron, as they are stronger than humans. There was no way a human’s strength would have held me. I look up, seeing the golden piece of cloth that saved our lives, before letting out a breath I was holding.

Jongin was just holding me as tightly as he could, shooting people who got too close to us for his liking. He waited harmlessly, falling into the grass to the side of the big of the building right at the edge of the valley, a few hundred meters away. I laid against the soft grass, taking a few deep breaths. Jongin besides me, still sitting up and watching. He’s alert still, ready to kill any Kryton that got too close to us.

“Battles winding down,” He says, looking a lot calmer that I feel, that’s for sure. Though he’s probably use to it. “If we wait they’ll send people to look for us.”

I didn’t answer as I turned, finally letting out the bile I’ve held back through most of the flight. It burned my throat and my nose as I feel his hand on my back, rubbing soothing circles into it. It smelled awful and tasted worse. I glance up, his hair completely a windswept mess. My bun just in a ponytail now, tangled as I move back, resting against the ground. When I looked back I saw his left sleeve torn off, a large cut into the skin along with one on his face, through his right eyebrow.

“Never… we’re never doing that again,” I say, my heart still racing as fast as it could.

Jongin looks at me as he crouched down, smiling with a loud laugh. “Here I thought Lyra Lang would be a thrill seeker,” He says, reaching into one of the many pockets on the side of his leg. He pulls out a revolver looking pistol as he holds it up, pulling the trigger. It shoots up, a mix of a flare and a firework. The purple smoke leaving a trail where we are, fireworks exploding.

“I just got thrown over the side of a ship,” I yelled, sitting up and resting my head on my knees that I pulled to my chest. “I think that’s all the thrill I’ll need for the rest of my life.”

Jongin, who just takes a cloth from one of his other pockets, smiles as he presses it to his forehead. I hear a sound behind me as I turn, seeing Yixing on the motorcycle flyer racing towards us. He brakes, hopping off and looks at us. He looks at me, getting on his knees, “I saw you falling,” He says, “Lyra, I thought you were dead.”

“I’m going to sleep for the next three days like I am,” I mutter, earning another laugh from Jongin, who was acting like this was just an everyday thing for him.

“Come on,” Yixing says, “You two can fit on the flyer.”

I stand, my legs feeling like jello. I was honestly just a wreck. Yixing gets on, starting it up as I get on after him. Jongin gets on after me, his hand holding my hips as he rests his head on my shoulder, still holding the cloth on his face. I could feel him trembling, hands shaking like leaves in a hurricane. It affected him a lot more than he showed.

Yixing, though a ear piece, was talking to the command center. I turn to Jongin, “Seems like I wasn’t the only one scared.”

He lets out a small laugh, “Normally I’m not. I was just… I didn’t want you to die, is all.”

His words stayed with me for a while, as Yixing stops at the front of the big hotel and casino. He get off, and immediately Junmyeon pushed people out the way, pulling Jongin into a hug that was like a vice grip. He looked over at me, smiling, before pulling me into one too.

“When he said that the Kryton threw you from the ship,” He says, shaking his head, “I feared the worst. I’m glad you’re safe, Lyra.”

“Can’t kill me that easily I suppose,” I mutter quietly, feeling still a bit sick and, after a night of no sleep, exhausted.

Sehun was standing, holding Jongin in a hug too. “Don’t scare me like that,” Sehun says, though his voice harsh and mean, the look of worry on his face showed that it all came from a good place. Sehun looking shaken, “Never worry us like that ever again.”

He then looked at me, and I just shrugged, “It wasn’t my fault.”

Minseok walked out, President Yssa at his heels. He looks over at us all, his eyes landing on Jongin and myself. “You're absolutely insane, the both of you,” He says, “But, because of your quick thinking, Lang, people are still alive.”

I feel my face flush, “Umm… sure. Just never make me do that ever again, please.”

Minseok looks at me, worried. “Are you ok,” He asks, looking over me.

“Oh, you know, being ripped out a ship and thrown off the side is just… well, traumatizing,” I say, frowning. I could feel my hands shaking as I looked over at Jongin, who was just smiling at Chanyeol. “I think I need to go take a bath and sleep.”

Yixing looks out, seeing the last new ships chasing down the last of the Krytons. “Some tried to escape on foot,” He says, “I’m going to lead a squad and hunt them down. Three of them, going down into the valley.”

Yssa nods, “Please. I don’t want them to hurt anyone down there.”

Minseok nods, giving Yixing permission. Kyungsoo walked to Jongin looking at his arm. “This will scar,” He says, looking at his face, “That one, too.”

“Good thing scars look great on me,” He says with a smile, “Just another to add to my collection.”

Kyungsoo nods, before looking at me. “You seem fine. A bit sick… tired. You didn’t get sleep last night, did you?”

“Do you just know everything,” I say, pouting.

“Yes,” He says, smiling. “We’re all aware of the situation. I’m sure someone here wouldn’t mind being in your room to let you sleep if that would help. I have people to go look after, lives to save.”

“I’ll do it,” Sehun says, looking at me. He places his arm around my shoulders, glancing back at Jongin. “You need to file a report. General Kim has been asking for word when a moment can be spared according to Baekhyun.”

Jongin’s face turned sour, before reaching for Sehun’s communicator, “Tell our father that we’ll be with him in a moment. For now we have to get patched up and make sure everything is safe.”

“Will do,” Baekhyun says, “Though, I get the feeling you want me to say something else, but whatever.”

Kyungsoo immediately grabbed Jongin’s arm, pulling him inside. I sigh, rubbing my eyes as Sehun just walks along with me. The hotel was still empty, the people all in the bunkers for at the very least another five to ten minutes. It was peaceful for a moment. It was nice, as we got into the elevator.

Once we got to my room, Sehun smiled, “You shower first. I don’t take fifteen years.”

I punch him in the arm softly, feeling my eyes feel heavy. The hardest part was trying to untangle my ponytail. A lot of conditioner and a little patience helped, though. I got into pajamas, flopping on the bed just as Sehun went into the bathroom.

This time, I passed out almost immediately.

“At least these weren’t caused by you being a reckless idiot,” Kyungsoo says, pulling off his gloves as Jongin looked down at his stitched up arm. From just above his elbow all the way to the nail of his middle finger. It was sore, but not uncomfortable. He also had a few in his face, right through the eyebrow. Jongin just shrugged.

“You know, if you really wanted to tell him to fuck off, right then would have been the time to do it,” Kyungsoo says, looking over at him with knowing eyes.

Jongin rolls his eyes, “That is something that once it starts, it won’t stop.”

“I don’t know what he’s done,” the doctor says, moving and washing his hands. The water so hot it was steaming, “But seems to me like none of you like him at all.”

“What gives you that impression,” Jongin says with a sarcastic smile.

Kyungsoo just shuts the water off, drying his hands, “Jongdae got drunk one time and ranted to me about it. Told me that you and Minseok got the worst of it, whatever it is. Nothing specific.”

“He was less of a father and more like a weapon maker,” Jongin says, “And we were what he thought of as his weapons. If he had it his way, we all would be a part of a team like Yixing is, only to do his personal bidding.” Jongin, since they were in his room, was thankful for the chance to change as he pulled off his pilot’s jumpsuit and pulled on pajama pants. After he speaks, he’s coming back to bed. As he pulled his shirt off, he showed Kyungsoo.

Tiny scars littered his chest, all over. Made to perfectly be hidden even when wearing a sleeveless shirt. “These are what we got if we failed him. We were born on Earth, but spent most of our time on the General’s private space station. You know what they say about it.”

“There, his word is law,” Kyungsoo says, nodding, looking at all the marks. Some thinner, cleaner, cut with what he would assume a scalpel. Some look like steak knife cuts. If you didn’t know they were there, they are virtually invisible. Someone had to have taken good care of them after. “It’s awful,” The doctor says, feeling a deep hatred bubbling knowing that the man who leads them did this to his own sons.

Jongin turns, and Kyungsoo sees a scar on his back. It also had some of the lines, but most of all was a brand. Right between the shoulder blades. A sun, with an eye design. The personal seal of the Kim family, made for them since their ancestors made the Syndicate. Jongin pulls on a shirt, before yawning and turning to the door.

“You should probably just stay here and rest,” Kyungsoo says, trying to stop him.

“And leave them to face him alone,” Jongin asks, looking back, “Not going to happen. I appreciate the concern, though. Really, it’s… I never tell you all how much my brothers and I appreciate all of you. It’s nice to have someone to care for us.”

Kyungsoo grabs his bag, following him quickly, “Then you should at least let me prescribe you with something that will calm your nerves. Your hands are still shaking. You look like your two seconds away from having a panic attack.” He says, placing his hand on the younger man’s shoulder, “And you don’t have to thank us, idiot.”

Jongin looks at his hands, which were, despite his best efforts, still giving away his weaknesses. “This… this is honestly the first time this has happened in years,” He looks at the older doctor, who was giving him a look telling him to tell the truth. “I’m serious. It really is. I… I almost got Lyra killed today and I just need a moment to rest and then I’ll be fine, I promise.”

The doctor scoffs, slapping his shoulder lightly, “That wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t have guessed that would happen.”

Jongin says nothing, just nodding. The elevator ride down was long, quiet. Kyungsoo knew that Jongin was preparing himself to speak with their father. He knew the General was an asshole, but never knew how big of one. It made his blood practically boil knowing that people turned a blind eye to the abuse Jongin and his brothers faced.

The command center of the whole casino had a large hologram center. Jongin walked in, seeing Junmyeon at the chair, preparing the program. Baekhyun touched his shoulder, preparing to take over for him. He steps into the circle, ready to face him.

The circle broadcasts a replica hologram form to the person or people you are talking to, and in turn, does the same to people in their circle. It still flicker in, and look like the person is there in front of you. It’s always unnerving when they speak to him like this.

Minseok looks calm and composed. He was, after all, trained to be the person who would run the Syndicate after father. Sure, it’s a group of six, but truthful he runs the show. Minseok was trained to be his successor, Junmyeon trained to be his spy, Jongdae to be the judge on his side and Jongin to be his warrior. However, they spoiled his plans and left, getting all stationed on EXO Prime. Because of that, their sister, Minjung, was trained in Minseok’s place. She was just like their father. Cruel. Strict. Cold.

The thing flickered to life and they see him. His black hair perfectly placed, in a suit that had designs of the Syndicate crest. His hair was greying, adding an even colder look to him. His eyes were brown, unlike his sons who go it from their mother. He looked calm, composed.

All four of them do the Syndicate salute, their fist over their chests, standing tall, proud and unashamed. Minseok spoke first, being the highest rank. “Hello, Commander General Kim,” He says, moving his fist and bowing.

Jongin notices their sister behind him, her hair up in a perfect braided bun without a single hair out of place. Minjung looked regal in a way, especially how she held herself with grace. Her eyes, like theirs, purple, though without warmth. She was tall, only a little shorter than Minseok. She was born before Junmyeon, the second oldest of the lot. She glanced at Jongin, her face turning into a look of disgust, “What are you wearing, dear brother?”

“I just got out of a fight,” Jongin says, motioning to his arm, “Forgive me if I’m not in a uniform that is perfectly pressed like those of you who wait on the side lines.”

She glares at him. Her uniform was the definition of perfection. Before she could speak, the Commander cuts her off.

“I wanted to check in on the situation there on Ysimir,” He says, voice kept calm and emotionless. “It’s rather alarming when a war ship besides to attack out of nowhere, after all. I’ve sent people from the closest base to check the area around to make sure no others are close by.”

“Thank you,” Minseok says, “I was going to submit a request for that, since I’m out of my jurisdiction and can’t command it.”

“I hear that, besides the sudden attack, it was taken care of quickly,” Minjung says, her voice, while soft, had a sharp edge to it. Just like their fathers. She looked over to Jongin, “Your ship was the one that took care of it, yes?”

Jongin nods, keeping himself composed, “Yes. I flew while my gunner handled the shooting. It was tricky-”

“It was reckless,” His father says, making Jongin tense. “You are not just a pilot, boy. Next time, let someone else handle that.”

Jongin’s fists clench at his sides, wanting to say something so badly, but held back.

This time, Junmyeon spoke, “No other person could have piloted the mission and returned alive.” Junmyeon, tense, glaring at the hologram of their father.

Their sisters scoffs, “It was practically a suicide mission. So, next time, do what other people who send pilots on suicide mission do. Send the one who can be sacrificed and spare the best.”

Jongin snapped. He glared at his sister, “If you keep sacrificing people, sooner or later there will be no one left. People won’t want to join if they know the Syndicate views them as pawns.”

“Enough,” Commander Kim says, silencing Minjung before she could speak. She glared at Jongin, before looking at her father. “Our difference of opinions matters not. Who thought of the plan? Who knew of the weakness of the ship?”

Minseok spoke, “Our mechanic, Master Sergeant Lang Lyra.”

“A mechanic,” He says, nodding. “Makes sense. They do know how ships work, after all.” Their father looks at Minseok, “I want to meet Miss Lang when she arrives on Earth. Thank her for what she did. After, I expect you to promote her, especially seeing as, from the video we have, she almost died. And that she saved my son.”

Jongin felt uneasy, thinking about his father and Lyra. He was a master at manipulating people to believe him and whatever it is that he says. Though he knows Lyra isn’t easily persuaded in the slightest. She can see through masks.

“How about the Krytons who got away,” Minjung asks, crossing her arms over her chest. “Sloppy work can get innocent people killed, after all.”

“Phoenix captain has found and killed them all,” Jongdae says, speaking up for the first time. He’s calmed a little, though the rage is liable to burst any moment. He and Minjung are very volatile towards one another.

With a glance, she looks at Jongdae, a small sneer on her face. She nods, before looking back at their father.

“All in all, it was an acceptable job,” Their father says, “You ended the threat before disaster could strike. I have a lot of valuable friends staying at that casino. There are also a lot of important people. The past King of Tribil and the man who run the largest asteroid market.”

Jongin’s blood runs cold, hearing him talk about the man from Tribil. Something is going on there and no one knows. Though, if his father is interested in the King from there, he probably does. From how Yixing and Lyra react, it seems like it is anything but good.

After that, a new niceties, the line was cut shortly after. Jongin looks where they were, before turning to Junmyeon. “Father knows. Whatever is happening with Tribil, he knows. I can just tell.”

Minseok, overhearing this, nods, “And we’re going to find out what. Rest. We leave tomorrow. Then we see what is it that Yixing and Lyra know. They’re covering something up at Tribil, and it’s about time we figure out what.”

[kiki-ciara-blog]

Half the World Away

This is my CSSS for @imagnifika.I hope you enjoy it, there’s a little angst as well as fluff. It's been lovely getting to know you over the last few weeks. Enjoy your Christmas celebrations when they come on 8th January!  Massive thanks to @best-left-hook-jones for beta reading.

Also on AO3

7k words

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KJ 15:48 Morning Swan

ES 10:48 Afternoon Jones

KJ 15:49 Many meetings today?

ES 10:50 Nope. I’ve got the afternoon off.  You nearly finished then?

KJ 15:50 10 minutes and counting and then I’m off until January!

ES 10:50 Nice! Any big plans for the evening?

KJ 15:51 Huge - a ready meal for one and 3 episodes of Stranger Things to watch on Netflix.

ES 10:51 Exciting. I’ve got to do a grocery run but shall we facetime when I get home then?

KJ 10:52 I look forward to it!

She couldn’t quite pinpoint when this thing with Killian Jones became more than a casual acquaintance and turned into a solid friendship, perhaps the most important one in her life. It was gradual, evolving over time until Emma was surprised to find herself looking forward to sharing the upcoming Christmas season with her friend. Even if there was an ocean between them. She told herself that it was only because it meant they would have more time to talk, rather than Emma actually getting into the festive spirit herself.

It had started around 18 months ago when she and Killian had been partnered on a project being run jointly by the London and Boston offices of Mills International.  Due to the difference in time zones, Emma would exchange handover emails and skype calls with her British counterpart as he was reaching the end of his day’s work and she was part-way through her morning.

A couple of months into the project, Killian had been due to be out of town at a conference, and had insisted that Emma have his personal mobile number, so that she could contact him whilst he was offline if there were any issues. There hadn’t been, but she also didn’t delete his number when he returned to the office the following week.

Over time, their daily handovers became more informal, sharing little updates about their personal lives in addition to the required work related information. And then, as the long Thanksgiving weekend approached last year, Emma decided to give Killian her personal number. He would be working on what was just another Thursday in November for the London office, she’d reasoned, and he might need to get in touch.

She had been a little disappointed when the Whatsapp notification came through at 7am on Thanksgiving morning. The first couple of words of the message showed on her lock screen and read: [Swan, Sorry to message you so early…]. Sighing, Emma had tapped the notification to see what the problem was, but was then pleasantly surprised to see a series of silly gifs and emojis beneath the full message.

Swan, Sorry to message you so early, but I wanted to be the first to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving! I’m having a turkey sandwich for lunch in solidarity!

So yeah, that was probably when the contact outside of work had begun. They’d still been few and far between to begin with, though. A link from Killian to some ridiculous story he’d seen in the British tabloids, like the Seagull that had stolen bags of chips from a shop. A frustrated gif from Emma of Chewbacca smashing a guitar, sent while she was sitting on hold with her energy supplier for nearly an hour. A photo on Facebook of the London team at their work’s Christmas dinner, with a comment beneath from Killian tagging Emma as a missing member of the team. A corresponding photo from Emma on Instagram the next night of a bottle of wine that she’d tagged Killian in. They’d added each other on various social media platforms and would like or comment on their posts, although Emma was always careful to ensure that she didn’t do so excessively, still uncertain of the boundaries of this new friendship.

After a particularly awkward Valentine’s date, where Killian had been set up against his own good sense with the sister of a friend and colleague, he’d returned home and sent Emma a message.

Well that was a disaster Swan. I hope you have better luck on your date tonight!

Oh no what happened?

Turns out that the chap that this Felicity had seen across the bar and wanted to go on a date with was Kieran from Accounting and not myself.

Ouch

Yes, seemingly she’d spotted him/me when we had a team night out and we both had blue shirts on, have dark hair and stubble so Robin had assumed it was me when she started asking questions. What time are you meeting your mystery man?

Billy? In an hour. Ruby hasn’t told me much about him, just that he’s not long moved into town after a divorce.

Well, have fun Swan and be safe.

When Emma returned home a mere two hours later, her first thought was to get in touch with Killian. Kicking off her heels in the hallway she fired off a quick message.

Hey. You still awake?

She plugged her phone in to charge and got changed into her pyjamas, not expecting him to reply given the late hour. When she checked her phone a few minutes later, Emma was delighted to see a message waiting.  

You’re back early, Swan, everything okay?

I’m fine Jones, I think this must be a night for disastrous blind dates!

Do tell!

He was already several drinks in when I arrived, had ordered food for both of us, thought I wouldn’t notice when he tried to pinch the waitress’ ass as she walked by, and then tried to get handsy with me.

Are you sure you’re okay?

Really, I’m fine. I downed my drink, threw his beer in his face and his burger in his lap. Then grabbed my coat and jumped in a cab.

Seconds after sending the last message Emma’s phone vibrated in her hand with an incoming call.

‘Hey Killian, you didn’t have to call, honestly I’m fine!’

‘I have no doubt that you are, Swan, but I wanted to make sure, and I wanted to commend you on your stylish exit.’ His voice sounded huskier than when they spoke at work, as if it was thick with sleep

‘What time is it there?’

‘Just after 1.’

‘I woke you up didn’t I? I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have messaged.’ Emma kicked herself for being so thoughtless.

‘Nonsense. I was actually trying to stay awake to see if you would be sending me any of your usual gif reactions to your date.’

Emma grinned. ‘Really? Well I’m sure if you hadn’t phoned I’d have sent some. Probably involving Lesley Knope or some angry kitties.’

‘Well, as I’m wide awake, shall we share all the horrendous details of our delectable dates?’

Getting comfortable for a long chat, Emma replied, ‘Absolutely, you start Jones.’

----------------------

After that, the phone calls became more regular. Sometimes it would be Emma calling Killian when she was up late, knowing he would be getting up for work. Other times Killian would return the wake-up call on his lunch break. There were calls at more civil times for both of them on weekends, late evening for Killian and mid afternoon for Emma. All of these interspersed with messages, and their regular work related dialogue.

It was fun, and easy. Killian soon became one of the best friends that Emma had ever had. It seemed he could sense when she was doubting herself and immediately appeared in her notifications as her personal cheerleader. Emma, in return, tried to rally Killian’s spirits whenever he was particularly stressed at work, going out of her way to find things to make him laugh (dogs dressed as Yoda seemed to be the most effective). There would barely be a day going by where they didn’t speak or message at least once.

Then of course there were the little gifts and postcards she would get in the mail from him. Sometimes it would be a special hot chocolate mix or coffee blend that he had come across and wanted her to try. Other times it would be a book that they had talked about, or some trinket that reminded him of her. When he went on his travels at the weekends he would try and find the tackiest and most tasteless postcard that he could, knowing she would get a kick out of it.

For her birthday, he had sent her a stunning charm bracelet with a swan attached. She had squealed down the phone at him when the mailman delivered her parcel.

‘Oh my god Killian thank you so much I love it I love it I love it!’ she rambled.

‘Bloody hell Swan, I think only dogs were able to hear some of that. Calm down love.’ Emma tried to contain her excitement, but still bounced a little on her toes as she giggled. ‘You are most welcome in any case.’

-------------

December 22nd was no different. Emma had to run to the grocery store on the way home from her half day at work, making sure her fridge was stocked with comfort food before putting herself into hibernation mode until Christmas had been and gone for another year.

After queuing for longer than seemed humanly possible, Emma finally returned to her apartment, plated up her grilled cheese and hot chocolate that she had picked up on the way and dialled Killian.

‘Swan!’ he greeted, eyes twinkling with mirth as his face filled her phone screen.

‘Jones, how was your frozen lasagne?’

‘I haven’t had it yet, it’s still in the microwave - see?’ He turned around so that Emma could see the microwave on the bench behind him.

‘Oh yum, you lucky, lucky man. I’ll try not to make you too jealous with my grilled cheese.’ She took a bite and gave an exaggerated moan of pleasure, noticing the way his eyebrow jerked up at the noise. ‘Mmm so good. Want some?’ She held the sandwich out towards her phone.

‘Not nice to tease a man, Swan. Bad form, love.’

‘I’m just getting you back for those gingerbread cookies you taunted me with last week’ she laughed.

‘Fair point. So what are you going to do for the rest of your day?’

Emma told him about her minimal plans as she pottered around her apartment folding laundry and generally tidying up. Killian had retrieved his dinner from the microwave and had settled himself at the kitchen table, happy to let her talk while he ate, his phone propped up against something to keep them both in view.

Having inadvertently given Killian a virtual tour, he asked, ‘Are you putting your tree up this weekend? I haven’t spotted it in the background.’

‘Not going to happen.’ Emma replied abruptly, sitting back down on the couch and trying her best not to glare. ‘I don’t have a tree, never had, probably never will. Not a huge fan of Christmas, if I’m honest. I mean I’m happy for others to enjoy it but, myself, I’d rather just hibernate until all the good will has moved on.’

‘So you’re not doing anything special on Monday then, love?’

‘Nope, not this year. Well, not any year, to be honest. Normally Mary Margaret insists I join her and David for dinner and she force feeds me festive cheer until I’m gagging on it. But this year they are going to stay with David’s mum in Wisconsin so I’ll be cocooning myself in a blanket on the couch and enjoying the extra couple of days off work. And talking to you, of course. That’s the only part I’m really looking forward to.’

Emma looked away from Killian at that admission, reluctant to see his reaction. He didn’t miss a beat and carried straight on with the conversation.

‘Sounds similar to my own plans there, Swan. Not a big fan of the holiday myself. I tend to get all Bah-humbug about it,’ he shrugged.

‘Tell me, Jones - how have we made it to December 22nd and have never had a proper conversation about Christmas when we speak every day? Did you used to spend it with your brother?’

A sadness washed over Killian’s face, his brow furrowing and the light vanishing from his eyes. ‘I did. We had some good times. Never a dull moment.’ He paused. ‘Until the accident. There were a few magical years with someone very special too. But that was a long time ago.’

‘Milah?’ Emma asked tentatively.

‘Aye,’ he sighed and scratched behind his ear, unwilling to make eye contact.  

‘Oh, Killian, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring you down. Here’s a deal for you. As we both normally have challenging Christmases, why don’t we have a virtual one together this year? We can keep each other company, without having to go overboard on the festivities.’ She wanted to reach out and squeeze his hand, provide a gesture of comfort, but the thousands of miles between them made that impossible.  

‘Sounds like a fine plan, Swan. Let’s do it.’ Emma could see him rallying himself. ‘Now let’s talk about something else other than why we don’t like the holidays.’

They chatted for what seemed like hours, and quite possibly was, agreeing to speak again the next day.

-----------

Saturday morning, had Emma feeling more positive about the forthcoming holiday than she had in years. That was, until she checked her Facebook feed and saw the pregnancy announcement that Neal and Tamara had made. She kicked herself for letting things like that get to her. Neal was ancient history. It wasn’t as if she still had feelings for him. But it still sucked that after his betrayal all those years ago - where he had unceremoniously hung her out to dry - that he was the one who found love and happiness. He got to have the family he had promised her 17 year old self. And yet here she was spending Christmas alone. Again.

Determined not to wallow in self pity, she poured her second coffee of the morning and called Mary Margaret to wish her and David safe travels. Mary Margaret’s festive cheer was normally highly contagious, and this morning she was as effusive as ever. As they chatted, she waxed lyrical about the three different types of cupcakes and the two batches of sugar cookies she had been baking up until 2am. She told Emma of the hand-crafted gifts she had made for David and Ruth, mentioning that Emma would receive her gift when they returned at the end of the month. Christmas couldn’t help but be magical when Mary Margaret was involved.

Normally Emma would be part of that too, albeit in small manageable portions. As they spoke it dawned on her that this year she would be completely alone, all her closest friends over 1000 miles away. Feeling another wave of sadness rapidly approaching, Emma wrapped up the call and agreed to meet Mary Margaret on New Years Eve when they returned, with a further promise of a phone call on Christmas Day.

As she hung up the call, the sadness she had so desperately been trying to push deep down through the soles of her feet reared up with a vengeance, and the tears started to flow. It was like a dam bursting; what began as a sniffle quickly became violent sobbing that took her completely by surprise.  Unsettling as it was, in the back of her mind she realised that this moment was probably overdue. Not normally one for expressing her feelings, many painful thoughts had been held in submission for too long.  Unable to bring the sobbing under control, she relented and gave in to the outpouring of emotions, hugging a cushion to her chest as she slid to the floor her back leaning against the couch.

After what seemed like hours, but was in truth only a few minutes, the tears subsided and Emma began to feel like herself again. She was just about to reach for the box of tissues on the table beside her when her phone rang. Killian! Dammit! She couldn’t talk to him like this. They had become incredibly close these last few months, but she hadn’t cried in front of him yet, and that was a level of vulnerability she didn’t think she could manage just now. So she sent the call to voicemail. A minute later, he called again, and as before, she sent it straight to voicemail. Shortly after, her phone buzzed with a message notification.

Swan, I know you’re rejecting my calls, is everything ok?

Not up for talking right now, Jones

Now I’m worried. What happened? Are you alright?

I’m fine, I’ll call you soon.

Promise?

Promise

As her last message sent, Emma realised that she did want to talk to Killian about her sorrows. If anyone would understand the loneliness that Christmas could bring it would be him. Plus, she found herself wanting to share more and more of herself with her friend these days.

She stood up, walked to the bathroom and looked in the mirror.  Her face was puffy, her eyes bloodshot from the tears and her nose was redder than Rudolph’s. She splashed some water on her face to cool her cheeks, pulled her hair up into a messy bun and then went to the kitchen for another cup of coffee. Armed with caffeine, she grabbed her phone and started a facetime with Killian, figuring that if she was going to confide in him, then she wanted to be able to look him in the eyes.

Within moments, his handsome face filled her screen, his brow furrowed and his blue eyes full of concern.

‘You’ve been crying.’ It wasn’t a question. Emma nodded her head and bit her lip in response. ‘Talk to me, Swan,’ he continued softly, ‘you can tell me anything.’

‘I know, and I will tell you,’ she began, ‘but before I do, you need to understand that I’m not normally like this. I don’t wallow in self pity. I’m not some damsel in distress. Nobody saves me but me.’

‘Understood.’ He smiled, ‘I was under no illusion that you needed rescuing, love.’

He said nothing more, just nodded to her encouragingly and waited until she was ready to tell her story. With a deep breath she began, starting with Neal, telling Killian how she had fallen for an older man in her teens. A man who had promised her the world and then had abandoned her - quite literally leaving the country - when she told him she thought she was pregnant. It had turned out to be a false alarm, but by then Neal was in the wind.

‘So when I saw the Facebook notification this morning that he and his fiance are expecting a child…’

‘It opened old wounds?’

‘Yeah,’ she whispered, a fresh wave of tears threatening to fall.

‘If you don’t mind me asking, love, given that he hurt you so much, how are you seeing him on social media?’

‘Oh yeah, that!’ Emma huffed. ‘I wish I wasn’t. An old friend of mine, August, who also knows Neal, commented on the post so it appeared on my newsfeed. Normally I just skim over anything to do with him, but this one stood out.’

‘I sense that isn’t the only thing that upset you this morning Emma,’ Killian continued, his eyes searching her face as if for clues.

‘No, you’re right. It’s not.’ Her shoulders sagged as she twisted a loose strand of hair around her fingers, not looking at Killian. ‘I spoke to Mary Margaret and she was so excited about going to Wisconsin with David. And I, I just felt, I don’t know…’

‘Lonely?’

‘Lonely,’ she agreed, and this time the tears did fall. Not to the ugly sobbing extent of earlier but enough that she couldn’t hide them from Killian.

‘Oh, love,’ he murmured. ‘I wish I could be there with you right now. I think you need a hug.’

Emma nodded, breathing deeply to get her emotions back under control once again.

‘Thank you for listening, Killian. It really has helped. And I’m sorry that you had to see me in such a state. Like I said, I’m not normally like this.’

‘You have nothing to apologise for lass, you are lovely in every way. And if I might be so bold, even your nose running and tear tracks down your cheeks doesn’t detract from how beautiful you are.’  

‘Charmer!’

‘I prefer dashing rapscallion!’ Emma tried to stifle a snort. ‘See? At least I made you smile, love.’ Killian looked like he wanted to say more, but was holding himself in check.

‘You did. I think I’m going to get dressed and head out for some fresh air. Clear my head.’

‘Ok well if you want to talk again later I’ll be here. And if not we’ll chat again tomorrow, aye?’

‘Yes, thank you again, Killian.’

-----------------

As she lay in bed that night, Emma wondered, not for the first time that day, whether there was any deeper meaning to Killian’s comments about her being beautiful. In recent months, their conversations had become more personal, and affectionate. There had been the beautiful bracelet for her birthday. He had taken to calling her ‘love’, though she was sure that that was just a figure of speech. It couldn’t mean any more than that, could it? Even so, it was irrelevant given the small matter of the Atlantic Ocean sitting between them. They’d never even met in person, although she hoped in the coming year she would be able to rectify that. Perhaps she could take a trip to London?

It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world though, would it? He was a very attractive man, he was kind, thoughtful, funny, handsome, attentive, supportive, incredibly good looking (she might have already covered that one). And he was one of her best friends. Maybe Emma did have feelings developing for him, or maybe she was just transferring her loneliness into romantic feelings because he was always so attentive.

When Emma woke on Sunday morning, her news app reported storms sweeping Britain and causing untold damage. Still cocooned under her blanket, she fired off a quick text to Killan to make sure he was unaffected.

Afternoon, Jones. Just read about the storms, hope you’re okay

Morning Swan :)  All good for now. Expecting London to get the brunt of it sometime this evening. How are you feeling today?

Much better thanks. I’ve just woken up, are you still good to talk in a couple of hours?

Glad to hear it. Can we make it 10 your time? I’ll need to pop out mid afternoon.

Perfect, speak soon x

Looking forward to it x

Emma re-read the last two messages again. She hadn’t intended to put a kiss at the end of hers, it wasn’t something she and Killian did. Emojis yes, kisses no. She was even more surprised when he returned the gesture. She needed to stop reading into things. It probably didn’t mean anything. Friends put kisses at the end of text messages all the time.

Eventually, after scrolling through her various newsfeeds and dashboards on every app on her phone, she dragged herself out of the warmth of her bed, had a shower, and made coffee and pop tarts. It was, in her opinion, a perfectly balanced breakfast and ideal for someone in hibernation. She was flicking through her choices on Netflix, trying to find something non-Christmassy when her phone rang.

‘Hello.’

‘Hello, Swan.’

‘You sound funny, Jones. What’s that noise in the background?’

‘That would be the wind, love.’ The background roaring was distorting Killian’s voice.  

‘That sounds far too loud to be inside.’

‘That’s because I’m not. I decided to go out earlier than I’d originally intended as the weather is closing in. I’ll be inside in a moment so you should be able to hear me better.’

‘What was that? I can barely hear you!’ Emma shouted.

‘Hang on, Swan!’ Emma kept the phone to her ear as she focussed again on her Netflix choices, waiting for Killian to start talking again.

‘Sorry love, that was a bad idea to call you while I was outside. Can you hear me now?’

‘Yes, but it’s still really noisy. Where are you?’

‘I’m at, eh’ he paused, ‘a train station. So you might hear announcements over the tannoy.’

‘Are you going somewhere?’ His hesitation seemed off, but Emma assumed he was just distracted by his surroundings.

‘Just taking shelter for now.’  They chatted for a few minutes, Emma only partly paying attention to the conversation as she finally decided on binge watching The Crown for a few hours.

‘Well, love, I suppose I’d better venture back out again if I’m going to succeed in my Christmas Eve quest. I reckon I’ll be up late tonight so we can talk again this evening if you wish?’

‘That sounds good. I’m not planning on moving from the couch anytime soon so call me anytime. Be safe, Killian.’

The rest of the day passed unremarkably, Emma stuck to her plan of hibernation, moving only occasionally from the couch when nature called or she needed snacks. She maintained a running commentary for Killian on Whatsapp of the highlights of each episode, with occasional selfies of herself snuggled up under a blanket, or of her latest mug of hot chocolate. The first few he read and commented on, but after that he went silent. She assumed he was focused on getting back from his mission into the warmth and safety of his home.

She sent him a text mid afternoon, in case the weather was causing internet issues for him. Certain that he would be home by then and keen to hear how his day had gone. No reply. He had been particularly vague about his ‘quest’ when she had questioned him -  he’d joked that it was ‘Top Secret’ and that details could only be given out on a need-to-know basis. Perhaps he’d called in to see a friend on the way home, she thought. Or gone for a Christmas Eve pint with the lads.

Emma sent another text an hour later, when the first had still gone unanswered.

Just checking you’re okay, Jones. Let me know you got home safely, please.

Half an hour later there was still no reply and a little ball of anxiety set root in Emma’s stomach.

Jones, are you okay?

By 6pm, Emma was starting to fret. Killian’s radio silence continued. Her multiple text messages remained ignored or unseen, and there was still no tick mark to show that he had read the messages on Whatsapp. Facebook Messenger showed that he had been active 6 hours ago. He was tagged in a post by his friend Robin, who had indeed been out for pints with some of their mutual friends, and remarked on his unexpected absence. Clearly he had planned to meet them for drinks and hadn’t shown. That didn’t necessarily mean anything; he might have cancelled on them a couple of days ago. He might have met up with other people for a drink instead. Even so the knot in her stomach tightened, the longer he stayed out of contact. She called his number but it went straight to voicemail.

‘Killian, I’m starting to worry. Call me, please.’

Under other circumstances Emma would think nothing of him being out of contact for a few hours. It was partly because she knew that the storm winds were building, he had said that London would be getting the brunt of it about now.  It was also because they had agreed to speak later on, and she expected him to be around by now. Something didn’t feel right about this. He wouldn’t have agreed to speak later if he was going out for the evening, besides he had said he was just popping out. That implied that he would be returning home within an hour or so. It had been 8 hours.

The minutes and hours ticked by slowly, and Emma’s apprehension steadily increased. When she wasn’t searching the internet for news updates in the UK she was pacing her apartment and working her way through a bottle of wine. She almost sent Robin a message at one point to see if he knew where Killian was, but then stopped herself as she didn’t know him and it felt a little too much in the realms of clingy girlfriend. Wait, what? She wasn’t Killian’s girlfriend so why would she even be thinking of herself in those terms? And as for clingy. Emma didn’t do clingy. She was fiercely independent.

It must be the wine talking.

When midnight approached with still no word, Emma reluctantly decided to go to call it a night, although she very much doubted that she would sleep a wink. Setting an alarm so that she could try and find out what had happened to Killian first thing in the morning, she climbed into bed. She sent one last text and then turned out the light.

Merry Christmas, Killian, hope you are okay. Thinking of you x

Her phone buzzing on the nightstand woke her from a rapidly fading dream that hazily seemed to involve someone who looked a lot like Killian and a hell of a lot of kissing. She groaned, telling herself that the dream was simply a manifestation of worrying about him all day. Although, she had to admit that making out with him in her dream had certainly been enjoyable. Something to dwell upon to later. Why was she awake? Her phone, right. What time was it?

Emma reached across and grabbed her phone. 2.07am. Who was sending messages at this hour?

I’m so sorry for worrying you, Emma. I’ve just got your messages and missed calls. I promise I will explain everything when you wake up in a few hours x

Where are you, Killian? What the hell happened? Are you okay?

Sorry for waking you. I’m fine. Honestly. You should go back to sleep. We’ll talk in the morning.

No way, buddy. I’m wide awake. I’ve been so worried. Let’s talk now.

Whilst all of Killian’s previous texts had followed quickly on from hers, Emma got no response to her last message. She had felt enormous relief when she saw the first text from him but now the anxiety of the afternoon and evening returned quickly as something felt off, once again.

Fifteen minutes later, as she sat in bed scrolling through news feeds again, her phone finally rang.

‘Killian?’

‘Sorry again, Swan. I wasn’t expecting you to be awake and was in the middle of something so couldn’t call right away.’

‘Where were you yesterday? I was so worried! I thought something had happened, that you had been injured in the storm.’ She could feel herself starting to ramble. ‘I checked every UK news site I could find to see if there were any updates.’

‘Emma…’

‘I almost got in touch with Robin to see if he knew anything, and I probably would have done that in the morning if there was still no word from you.’

‘Emma love…’ Killian tried to interrupt again.

‘And I know that maybe that would have been overkill, but I was so worried! So tell me, what happened to you yesterday? Where did you go?’

‘I promise I can explain and I will, in detail. You know, you really should get the security door to your apartment block looked at, love. Anyone can get into the building.’

‘What does that have to do with anything? And how would you know that? Killian, where are you?’ Emma stood up ready to begin pacing again if she didn’t get answers soon.

There was a soft knock on her front door.

‘Is that? Was that? What the hell is going on Killian?’

‘Open the door, love, please.’

Emma dropped her phone onto the bed and ran to the front door. Pulling it open she was stunned to find Killian Jones standing before her, his phone still pressed to his ear and a small suitcase at his feet. Without giving it a second thought Emma dragged him into the apartment, wrapped her arms around him and peppered his face with kisses, causing him to chuckle. The sound brought her back to her senses and she pulled back, punching him hard on the shoulder.

‘That was for worrying me.’

‘Ouch! Okay, I know I deserved that. Talk about a warm welcome. Or at least the part before the violence was warm!’ He smiled nervously and his hand rose up to scratch behind his ear as he rocked back on his heels.

‘How are you here? Actually no, hang on a second, don’t answer that yet!’ Emma pinched her arm, and then rubbed her eyes. ‘Just checking that I am actually awake.’

She looked Killian up and down. He was definitely better looking in the flesh than on her screen. His raven black hair was all disheveled, his eyes a crystalline blue, slightly red rimmed and he looked about as tired as she felt. His stubble ran down his neck, drawing her eyes to the tufts of chest hair poking out the top of his grey henley. His black jeans were tight, and, - no. She stopped herself. Eyes back up - she absolutely wasn’t looking at how well fitting they were.

‘Is it okay that I’m here?’ Killian asked, looking more anxious than she have ever seen him in their hundreds of video calls.

‘Yes, yes, of course. It’s just a surprise you know?’ Emma started walking towards the sitting room, ‘Come on through, take a seat.’ She gestured to the couch in front of them. I’m just going to grab my robe. Be right back.

Dashing to her bedroom, Emma closed the door behind her and leaned back against it. All of her earlier worries had been replaced with deep relief and what might be joy. She had so many questions, but at least Killian was safe and well. And here in her apartment. In Boston. Her best friend was from London was here in Boston in the middle of the night. Oh good grief she’d kissed him. That was going to be awkward to move on from. Taking a deep breath she grabbed her robe, and hoped that it would cover the blush that had crept across her chest in the last five minutes. She looked herself over in the mirror, running her fingers through her hair to try and comb out some of the bed-head tangles, then returned to the living room to her unexpected yet very welcome guest.

As she approached, Killian grinned over at her and patted the couch beside him for her to sit. ‘Has the shock worn off yet, Swan?’

‘Kinda,’ she answered with a hesitant smile, settling herself at the other end of the couch and making sure to keep a gap between them. ‘So are you going to tell me how on earth you are here instead of London?’

He scratched behind his ear again. ‘It was supposed to be a surprise. Which, I guess, it still is. But I promise you, it wasn’t supposed to cause you so much worry in the process.’ Killian started to reach across to touch her arm, but then seemed to think better of it and ran his hand through his hair instead.

Emma inched a little closer and nodded for him to continue.

‘When I called you yesterday afternoon and told you I was in a train station, I was actually just arriving at the airport. I had hoped we could have a full conversation while I was en route to Heathrow and then the next thing you would have known I’d have been arriving at your door sometime around 8.30pm your time.’

‘It’s nearly 3am, you’re more than 6 hours late.’ Emma gasped, ‘I’m guessing the plan derailed then? I have so many questions!’ She pulled her knees up to her chest and leant towards him intrigued.

‘And I will answer them all, but yes the plan went somewhat awry. The weather was awful, and we couldn’t hear each other, so there was no way I could stand outside the airport. I thought that once I had gone through check-in I could call you again from the departure lounge, and then let you know that I’d be out of contact for a few hours.’

‘But you didn’t.’ Emma murmured.

Killian winced. ‘Sadly, no. The incoming storm played havoc with my signal. I had wi-fi for a short while I was still in the concourse but for some reason not at the departure gate, which was how come I only managed to reply to some of your first messages.’

‘Ok, that explains how come you went quiet on me for the first few hours, but that doesn’t account for the missing 6 hours!’ Emma reached across and laid her hand on his knee. ‘I can’t begin to explain how worried I was about you.’

‘I have an inkling, love.’ He put his hand on top of hers, and gave it a gentle squeeze. Their eyes met, Killian’s expression was hopeful and as Emma held his gaze she wondered if he might perhaps be feeling the same way she was. There had to be a reason for him sitting on her couch at this unearthly hour on Christmas morning.

‘So,’ she said putting an end to whatever moment they were having. ‘Those six hours?’

‘Ah yes. The plane was an hour and a half late in boarding. Then there was a problem with the air-conditioning unit, so we had to wait for an engineer to fix it before take off. And then because we had been so delayed already, I guess we had to wait for a new runway slot. We took off nearly four hours later than scheduled in the end.  The flight finally landed around midnight.  It wasn’t until I got on the plane that I realised that both my phone charger and my power bank were packed in my hold luggage rather than my carry on, so even though I would have had signal again when we arrived I still couldn’t get in touch as my battery was completely flat. I wanted to let you know what was happening, I hope you believe that.’

Emma nodded, ‘I do.’ She smiled. ‘That takes up until midnight. There’s still a two hour gap.’

‘I said that we landed at midnight, Swan, I didn’t say we got off the plane then!’ He chuckled. ‘It took another 45 minutes before we could taxi along to the arrival gate. And then there was another delay waiting for backs to be unloaded. When I sent that message after 2, I’d just walked through customs.’

‘Wow, some journey! And I haven’t even offered you a drink. I’m a terrible host.’ She stood up and walked to the kitchen area on the other side the room. I’d offer you coffee but that’s probably not wise at this time of night. Hot chocolate? I might be able to manage tea, I think.’

‘Hot chocolate will be fine, love.’ Killian joined her in the kitchen, watching in amusement as she darted between cupboards and the fridge finding the necessary ingredients, a nervous energy radiating off her. She could feel his eyes boring into her, but she didn’t dare ask her next question, trepidation filling her about what the answer would be.

‘I can hear you thinking, Swan.’

Emma turned to him. ‘It’s just... I know how you got here, but I still don’t know why.’

Killian took a step towards her and reached round to turn the hob off under the milk. Gently he pulled her into his arms and walked them back a couple of steps, away from the stove until they were leaning against the breakfast bar.

‘Do you really not know why?’ Emma shook her head, digging her teeth into her bottom lip as she looked up at him. She swallowed, deciding to take a leap of faith.  

‘I have an idea, but I guess I don’t dare let myself believe it.’

‘Well, love, let me tell you then. When we spoke on Saturday you were so sad that my heart broke for you. All I wanted to do was wrap my arms around you, kiss you and make you feel safe and loved.’

‘So you flew halfway round the world?’

‘So I flew halfway round the world, to spend Christmas with you. It was risky, I know, given that you might not feel as I do.’ Emma’s breath caught as he reached up to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear as he spoke. ‘But I realised that Christmas should be spent with the people that mean the most to us, the ones we love. And so here I am.’

‘You love me?’

‘Aye.’ he breathed.

‘Good.’ Emma smiled, tears glistening in her eyes and her heart trying to beat it’s way out of her chest.

Killian stroked his thumb across her cheek and closed the distance between them, pressing his lips softly against hers. As kisses go, Emma thought it might be one of the best in her entire life. It was was perfect, sweet and tender with a promise of more to come.  As they separated, she sighed contentedly.

‘Happy Christmas Swan.’

‘Happy Christmas Jones.’

[quwandathornton]

Don’t Go! (J-hope Angst Scenario)

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Mild Language

Centric: Hoseok (Jimin and Suga would be the most active in this story along with Y/N.) I also   would like to make alternative endings with the centric characters in this book (Hoseok, Suga, and Jimin.)

Words: 2353

Hosoek wants to leave BTS because he thinks it would be best for the group itself. He feels like he is worthless and would bring down the image of the group, all thanks to the Vlive comments. Bangtan boys are having a tough time convincing Hoseok that he is worthy of staying within the group. So they invite their good friend Y/N to come talk him out of it.

What they all don’t know is their good friend is also an Army, and the news strikes her harder than it should since her bias is Hoseok. 

Hoseok sat down in Suga’s room with his Vlive going as he talks to his fans with enthusiasm and boyish charm. Yoongi had told him it was okay to do the Vlive in his room since the lighting quality in his room was better than his room. His eyes bounced from comment to comment as they all ranged from ‘I love you Hobi!’ to ‘Shout out my country, Brazil Hobi Oppa!’

“Yes! Hello Brazilian Army, I love you!” He does a kissy face and a heart finger. He continued to watch the comments roll in. 

“Oppa Why are you so handsome? Because I have my beautiful army to give me all of the love and support I need to be charming! I love you~” He does extra heart fingers while smiling. 

His eyes scanned and scanned until it landed on a comment. He felt his heart drop slightly. 

‘Where is Jungkook Oppa?’ He smiles and answers to his best knowledge of where the Maknae could actually be. 

“Jungkookie-ah is in his room resting.”  Then another comment.

‘Where is Jimin?!’ His face turned into one of nervousness, but he covers it up with a hearty laugh. 

“Ah, Jimin-ah is also resting. We had practice for a good 8 hours yesterday, so we are extremely exhausted. We are all resting for now, as I am resting while I Vlive to you all~” He says cutely.

‘Where is JIN!’

‘SUGA!’ As this was going on, other fans were countering the fans that were asking for the other members. 

‘Stop that! This is Hoseok’s Vlive! Show Some damn respect!’

‘Are you are crazy!?’

“Uhh..” Hoseok says as he began to lose his train of thought. But once he gets it back, he began to talk about his day yesterday and how the practice had gone successfully without anyone getting harmed. 

He was also giving details about his upcoming mixtape, and probably a surprise MV which he wasn’t too sure about just yet. He even mentioned how happy he was to see his sister a few days ago before going back to work in BIG HITS Building. 

‘GO AWAY!’

‘Get out!’

‘LEAVE!’ 

‘I WANT JUNGKOOK NOT YOU!’ He ignores the comments as he continued on about the album that might be coming up soon that he was also helping Suga and Namjoon with. 

‘Where is JIMIN!? I WANT CHIM CHIM!’ 

While this was all happening, Jimin had got a notification on his phone about a Vlive going live from their channel. He then remembers how hoseok said he will go live soon after he ate his lunch. Jimin turns on his phone and hops onto the vlive channel to watch Hoseok talk. 

He noticed that hotel seemed a little hesitant, and a bit distant. He looks down at the comment to see a comment war happening down there. His eyes brows raised up in shock. 

“What the-” He says, as he read a commenting that stated clearly. 

‘Why is HOSEOK HERE I WANT JIMIN’ Jimin’s eyes widened in shock. The poor boy got so lost in the sea full of hateful comments about hosoek he didn;t even notice hoseok went offline. He didn’t notice that as soon as his eyes landed back on the comment section that his hand that held his cell phone had begun to shake violently. 

He stood up from his bed in his shared room with Hoseok and Jin and bolted into the living room to spot hoseok sulking on the couch. He sighs in relief as he runs a nervous hand through his locks. He walks over to hoseok and with a shaky breath as calls out to him as he stood right in front of him. 

“H-Hoseok Hyung..” He whispered Hoseok didn’t dare to look up at Jimin. His eyes glued to his hands that laid folded onto his lap. Jimin watched as tears fell onto his hands. “Hyung!” He gets on his knees in front of hoseok. Hoseok looks away as the tears only intensified. 

“I can’t- not anymore,” Hoseok said as he stared at the dining room table, the same dining room table they have had since debut trainees. His eyes burned with tears and became blurrier as he stared longer at it. “I can’t take this mistreatment any longer.”

“please don’t listen to them, they aren’t even true fans!” Jimin grabs hoseok’s hand but hoseok gently removes it. He smiles a Jimin, but the smile wasn’t like his usual happy smiles that he gives to his members when he is proud of them. When He is happy to be around them and Army, but a broken smile.

“I can’t - I can’t stop listening anymore because it’s impossible..I’m too weak to be an idol.” 

“No, you are strong enough hyung!” His voice raised an octave, he grabs hoseok once more only to be rejected as hoseok stood up. Jimin stood up as he began to hyperventilate. 

“Stop wait!” Jimin says as he watches hoseok walk out of the living room and into his shared room. Jimin began to follow suit but he heard a small voice call him. 

“Jimin Hyung?” It was Jungkook, he had one earphone in his ear while the other was dangling against his chest. “What’s happening?”

“Hoseok..he’s-”

“I’m leaving Bangtan,” Hoseok says from within the room as he was already packing up clothing. “I can’t take being treated like a lesser human being! being called ugly every god damn time!” Jimin’s shoulder began to slouch, and Jungkook’s eyes widened. 

“Wai-Wait! what are you saying!?” Jungkook shouted. Hoseok stopped packing, turns around and closes the door in their faces. 

“I’m sorry..” He whispers, loud enough for the two of them to hear. Jimin went into panic mode. 

“Where is Namjoon!?” Jungkook’s mouth began to quiver as he tried to answer but no words came out. His heart was racing out of his chest at 100mph. He was scared that hoseok was actually leaving them. 

“Hoseok let’s talk please!” Jungkook’s voice came out in a pleading manner, as Jimin leaves the maknae to pleading. He was going to gather his family to help stop hoseok from leaving them. 

Jimin calls Namjoon. 

“Hyung I need you to come back home, Please bring Yoongi! Hurry!”

“Why? What’s wrong? We have a little bit left before we are down with the song. Where is hoseok btw, we might actually need him-”

“NOT NOW PLEASE!”

“Yah! Stop yelling so close to the receiver! oh, fuck my ear.” Namjoon hissed. 

“Hoseok is leaving BTS!” 

Silence. 

“Hoseok is what now?” Namjoon asked in shock. Yoongi had stopped what he was doing to look over at Namjoon. Jimin had repeated what he said, just for namjoon to tell him. “Stay there, make sure he doesn’t leave. We’re coming home.” he hung up, He noted to apologize to Jimin for hanging up on him mid sentence. 

Yoongi stared at him with a confused pout. 

“Hoseok wants to quit-”

“Let’s go.” Yoongi cut off Nam Joon, by standing up and leaving all his stuff behind in the room as he ran out of the studio recording room. Namjoon felt a small smile crawl on his lips, proud of how much the members love one another just to drop anything and everything to be at their aid. 

Jimin Calls Jin 

Jin was already driving back home from his mother's house when he got the call and he was already pretty close to the door as it is. Jimin was relieved to hear it, as he mentions Jung Hoseok leaving BTS. Seokjin Floors it back to the dorm.

Last but not least was Taehyung - and almost as quick as Jimin had called the boy, He had clumsily run into the apartment building with his hands shaking just like Jimin’s were an hour ago. His eyes widened in shock as he hangs up and runs up to jimin and jungkook.

“Where is he.”

“He locked himself in the room. We tried everything..” Jungkook sat in front of the door as he waited for his hyung to open it. Jimin was leaned against the wall, dialing up Y/N’s Number, Then soon he decided he will probably bring hoseok’s mom into the mix if all goes down south.

“We can’t have him leave...he’s our brother,” Taehyung says as he jiggles the door handle lightly in hopes it opened up. 

Nothing. “Hoseok..please. it’s Tae.” He says softly, Taehyung puts his ear against the door to hear him say something but it wasn’t clear. “No matter what happens hyung, I love you. But please let’s talk this out.”

As soon as I got the news, I Had put on my shoes, and anything that was not too revealing on and ran out of my apartment, I hope I locked it. My brain was processing all the bad things that might come out of this situation and it’s not helping me with my anxiety issues here. 

“Come on hoseok! Don’t do this!” I kept chanting to myself as I rode the train to Seoul. I bit my lip nervously as the closer I got to BTS’s Apartment, the more my stomach hurt. 

Before I knew it, I was in front of the door and I hear nothing but silence on both sides. I knocked softly with knuckles and waited a good minute before Namjoon answers. He moves out the way as I was let inside to see everyone outside of Jin’s, Jimin’s and Hoseok’s bedroom, willing him out. 

I walked over, telling them to excuse me as I got close to the door. I knocked four times before calling out to hoseok sternly. “Hoseok Oppa! Open this door this instant!” Seokjin looked at you with shock, you had dropped all honorifics. 

Before you knew it, the door opens to reveal hoseok who looked oddly calm. He smiles at you.

“Hello everyone.” His voice was hoarse and scratchy. He had been crying for the longest time. I backed up as I felt my own tears about to fall, I jumped when I felt a gust of window pass me. 

My eyes fell on hoseok being enveloped into a hug by Yoongi. Hoseok then breaks down. I felt my own tears falling down my eyes, and I could hear sniffing from my right ear. I turned to see Jungkook and Jimin crying. 

“You’re not leaving us,” Yoongi whispered. He pulls hoseok towards us while still hugging him tightly so he would not run. However it didn’t even seem like hoseok was trying to pull away, he looked too exhausted to do so.

“Sweetie,” you whispered. “Don’t do this to yourself. TO BTS, Your Family, Hoseok, We all love you so much. These boys right here.” You pointed to every single bts' member around him. “Have been by your side for nine amazing ass years. You have won, earned and deserve so many awards. So many awards are still out there for you all, and even for just YOU.”

“Hoseok-ah You can’t just give up. You have so much to accomplish in the next 30 years with us.” Yoongi says holding him closer. Hoseok’s tears were non-stop. “We will be together forever, remember? Until we grow old like Shinhwa Ahjussi’s.” Hoseok slightly laughs at that, which made your heart swell. 

“Hyung, Just know that you are always loved. Those comments. Those people, are nothing. They aren’t fans.” Jungkook said Taehyung steps closer to hoseok. 

“They aren’t Army.” Taehyung finished, or so he thought he did. You walked up to the two hugging each other and say.

“They aren’t real Army’s. A REAL ARMY, would love you all as one. Would love every member, All of their flaws and perfections. They would love them even when they mess up and make sure to correct you so you won’t get in trouble.” 

Hoseok stares at you. “A real army, would protect their members, and not break them down! Knowing they have low self-esteem, Depression, Etc. Because - I understand you so well Hoseok!” You shouted. You clenched up your hands. “I suffer depression, I look down on myself, I think I’m an attractive girl, but know this-”

“There is always someone out there for you. There is always an ARMY WHO loves you, find you handsomely attractive. They find you very talented, and will no doubt look up to you.” His eyes were studied on you as you spoke. Yoongi was rubbing soothing circles on hoseok’s back. Jimin’s tears slowed down a bit as he clung to you gently with his tiny hands, his head laying on your shoulder. 

“So many children look up to you like a role model. My Little baby cousin, even looks up to you. She wants to be able to dance just like hobi.” Hoseok bit his lip as he thought about my 5-year-old cousin who had visited us more than 10 times, and every time she would gush about how amazing hoseok was. 

“If you just leave BTS..Army will hurt. We will Hurt.” You didn’t know you were in tears now. “So don’t go..just  please think about this. Think it through! Hoseok Oppa! Because of know if you leave, you would break my ARMY HEART!!” 

A loud gasp was heard, you looked around confused. “What?” You looked at each and every one of the member’s faces, including Jimin’s who looked shook.

“Y/N..” Jimin whispered. You tilted your head as you wiped a tear. “Did you just say...”Your ARMY heart?” 

“Noona, You’re an Army?” Taehyung asked. Jungkook looked shook. 

“Oh, no way..oh that is so weird!” Taehyung said smiling ear to ear. Hoseok looks at you.

“And Hoseok is my Bias.” Your voice broke a little. The thought of him leaving keeps coming back into your mind. 

*Silence and sudden Pin Drop* 

“SO please...” You whispered, as your head drops and eyes shut closed. “don’t go.”

PS. Jung Hoseok you are beautiful, Talented and Deserve much better than these trolling want to be “Think they are but they aren’t” Armys. They are NOT and NEVER WILL BE AN ARMY. 

IF you don’t LOVE all of BTS and Talk down on them like they are nothing less than human. 

You Aren’t an ARMY. 

You’re A Monster. (Not not Rap Monster, because he’s Awesome.)

[exo-one-shots]

Drive Me Crazy

Written By: Admin T.Pot Summary: Y/N has asked Sehun to teach her how to drive cause she just got her permit and her driving test was in 2 weeks. Sehun agrees to teach her, and although she says she knows the basics, she doesn’t really know how to actually drive a car. A/N: Sorry for the long wait guys TT I didn’t know which was easier to finish cause the fics and shots I’ve started to write offline were all just starters and I didn’t really think them through;; but I finished this one TT I’ve been really stressed and busy I couldn’t really bring myself to write cause of the exhaustion and part laziness;;; But here you guys go TT one is finally finished;;; And since it’s Sehun’s birthday still LOL ... I promise to come back soon ! So wait for me !! Word Count: 3000

[Sehun ! I passed the written test ! I scheduled my driving test to 2 weeks from now. Could I ask you to probably teach me ? Please ?]

I couldn't help but smile at how she asked me. Of course I was down to teach her. I even offered to not too long ago. But I know how she is. She never wants to be rude so she asks even if she knows the answer. I quickly text her back, but instead of saying yes,

'What will you give me in return ?'

And sure enough, a reply comes within 30 seconds.

[That's not fair ! You offered !]

'It's been a while. Have you checked the expiration date ?'

[What ?? You can't put an expiration date !! That's really not fair TT]

My smile widened at the image of her pouting while texting, clearly taking this literally. She was too easy to tease. Not that I'm a sadist, but she's really cute when she's in her whiny mode. Which is quite odd knowing how I get annoyed at even the slightest bit of a pitch in a girl's voice. But Y/N is always different.

'You owe me.'

[...Fine... I'll buy lunch...]

'Dinner.'

[But dinner is more expensive !]

'Exactly.'

[...I hate you...]

'What ? You want to pay $80 for driving lessons ? Okay, fine with me.'

[No !! Sehun TT I love you TT]

By now, my smile has turned into low giggles. Sounds disgusting and I can't even understand why I always get all giddy when I'm making fun of her, but I can't help it. It tickles my heart to see the words. But my mind instantly drifts off and my smile is gone in an instant and an unsatisfied expression with my brows furrowed takes its place... I deeply sigh at the thought that depresses me every time...

If only we were more than friends...

---

"Sehun-ah ~" I see Y/N frantically waving her arms as she runs towards me.

A gradient smile placed on her soft pink lips. I try my best to keep myself from running towards her, meeting her halfway, and pulling her into my arms for a tight embrace and giving her kisses all over her face. It was hard at first to keep myself calm, but I've gotten used to it during the years.

I carefully watch her running across the empty parking lot of our school and I couldn't help but depict the future. She wasn't far now, only a few steps but I bet she's going to trip on her own fee- yep. She did. But good thing I was fast enough to catch her.

"Tsk. Watch your step and don't run," my tone came out colder than intended but I guess she's used to it, since she knows I'm not one to express myself.

"Heh, sorry," she giggles while sticking out her tongue and raising her eyes with her head low.

She doesn't even know how adorable the expression she's portraying is. It's the exact reason why my face always cringles up when she does it, wishing she only did that in front of me and not where others can see her.

If you're going to think this way, just make her yours already, Sehun.

I keep telling myself, but it's not always easy as it seems. Like I said, I'm not an expressive person and if I go back to the time when we first met, I'm still worried that she's going to be afraid of me again. We were introduced by our mutual friend, Chanyeol, but unlike him, since I was always quiet and had a serious, almost annoyed -- blank, in my defense -- face on, she wasn't so fond of me. Better yet, since she's very shy, she was quite afraid of me.

On the other hand, my first impression of her was 'cute'. And if anyone knows me, I really like cute things. I know. Surprising for a guy like me, right ? You'd think I'm into clubbing, drinking, and big breast cougars. Well, that's what most people will think, based on "how rich my family is", "how I am so good-looking", and just cause I have such a face. But believe it or not, I'm a simple guy. I like walks in the park, playing with my dog, and just going for a drive to the beach.

And being the simple guy that I claim myself to be, I like simple girls. Girls like Y/N, who doesn't plaster her face with so much make-up, who doesn't try get to me by playing innocent, and who doesn't really know me from what she's heard but knows me from spending the time to get to know me.

So yea, little things like sticking out her tongue as she giggles apologetically drives me insane. But I can't be too forward and tell her my feelings cause she's the type to take things slow. Funny, how liking someone turns you into a very observant person. I feel as though I know every little detail about her.

"Okay, so should we start ?" she looks up to me with sparkling eyes.

I nod, with the slightest smile. Barely anything. She smiles widely and reaches to open the driver seat's door. I make my way over to the passenger's seat. It was quite awkward. I never imagined I would be sitting in the passenger seat of my own car. And I'm not too sure if I'm 100% comfortable with having someone else drive my car; but it was good, cause I was with her.

"So, I know the basics. Don't worry too much on telling me how to start the car or you know... driving," she laughs. I smirk. "I guess, just be with me as I practice driving around ?"

I nod in approval as I wave my hand, signaling to her that the car is all hers. She giggles in excitement. Her small hands softly strokes the wheel handle. I slightly cock my head questioning what it was that she was doing.

"Hehe, hi baby. I'm going to be the one taking care of you today okay ? Daddy is still in the car so don't worry about being alone with me. I won't do anything to hurt you, so please bear with me, okay love ?"

Then Y/N dramatically threw her around the wheel, hugging it while patting it like she was trying to comfort it as if it was a living creature in pain. I let out a snort unknowingly. Y/N swiftly turned her head to glare at me but I quickly avoided her eyes by turning my head towards the window while covering my mouth with a fist.

I felt her intense stair on the back of my head, and so I tried to keep the laugh in but the air left my nose, breaking the silence in the car.

"Stop laughing !"

"I'm... not laughing," I tried.

"Then say it to my face !"

I swallowed in the laughter trying to leave me and turned myself back around to face her. Little did I know that she was now leaning closer to my side with her elbows resting on the armrest in between our seats. The both of us froze. My eyes locked into hers. This was the first time we had our faces so close to each other. My eyes roamed down her delicate features and were fixed onto her lips slightly open with her front two teeth slightly showing. I swallowed the urge to kiss her and brought my eyes back up to her meet her eyes.

As soon as our eyes met, her eyes widened and started to wander to a different place at every blink trying to figure out where to put her eyes on. I wouldn't have minded just staring at each other all day. But it wasn't long till she turned her face forward and avoided the contact.

"L-let's d-drive...!!"

I kept my eyes on the side profile of her face. Her cheeks were flustered bright pink, she bit her bottom lip and blinked twice, looking like she was thinking about something. Then she shut her eyes and slightly shook her head, as if she's getting rid of a thought. I hold in a laugh while trying to figure out what's going through her head that's making her look this adorable. But I don't question it as she started the engine.

"Okay, since there's no one here today, how about just driving around as freely as you want ?" I say, just to chase the tension away, since it seemed she wasn't going to talk first.

Y/N nodded. She stepped on the break and turned the gear into drive, but when she lifted her foot and stepped on the pedal, the car pushed forward hard enough for both of our heads to hit the head rest. Y/N quickly stepped on the breaks realizing her mistake. The forced pushed both of us forward. I felt my heart rate speed up faster than when I was with her.

"Yah !" I shouted out of instinct.

I saw Y/N flinch at my outburst. I then realized I raised my voice at her for the first time. I wasn't mad, I was just surprised. And I should probably tell her that, since she's looking like she's committed the worst crime possible. So I cleared my throat and told her I was sorry, but she came back with a sorry as well.

"You're car's... pretty sensitive..." she bit her lip.

"Try stepping on the pedal more slowly and gently," I sighed.

Y/N nodded and tried. But again, the car lashed out and then came to a quick stop. I sighed again as she apologized. Good thing there wasn't any cars or parking blocks at each parking spot. But I couldn't take this anymore. My patience has finally hit its limit.

"Park the car," I finally tell her.

Y/N looked guilty. She did as I said and I got out of the car. Y/N put her head down as I closed the door and kept it there until I got around the car and opened the door to the driver's seat.

"Get out," I said, coming out more harsh then intended.

Her lips pursed into a frown, looking like she could cry any minute. She slowly undid her belt and stepped out the car, still not making eye contact with me. As soon as she was out, I sat at the driver's seat. I pushed the seat back until there was enough space in front of me, but also close enough for me to reach the pedals.

"Get in," I say, trying to sound softer than before.

Y/N finally lifted her head from the ground and looked at me with big eyes, clearly not understanding the situation. Since she's so easy to read, I give her the answer to her unspoken question.

"Since you don't know how to control your pressure on the pedals, I'll show you."

But seeing her reaction, which was just standing there still looking confused, I sighed in surrender and pulled her by her wrist but gently enough so that she fell into the seat without hurting her. She gave in and sat down on the space available.

"Take your shoes off," I told her.

She did as I said and I took the shoes from her and put it on the floor in the passenger seat. She then made herself more comfortable by wiggling into the seat. And in that moment, I was starting to regret my suggestion. But it was too late to back out now. Y/N was fully in the car with both her legs in the car. I sighed inwardly and closed the door.

"Seatbelt ?" Y/N asked as she looked back, shifting a bit on the seat.

"Yeap..." I tried then reached for the belt.

I pulled it around Y/N and clipped it in. The belt caused Y/N to rest her back fully against my chest. The way her body fit perfectly into my embrace felt like heaven. There's nothing I would ask more of if only I could keep her in my arms like this all the time. I sighed at the thought.

Then I realized another heartbeat other than my own. I blinked and tried to focus my senses and in doing so I realized her heartbeat was just like mine, beating rapidly. I let out a soft scoff, happy to know I'm getting some kind of reaction from the contact. I get a slight glimpse of her cheeks from the back and see that she's turned bright red.

"Shall we start ?" I asked.

"Y-yes...!" she jumped.

"Alright," I chuckled. "Put your right foot on top of mine. I'm going to drive so that you know how to control your pressure."

Y/N nodded as she took in a deep breath. She let it out shakily, indicating she was ready. I placed my foot with hers on top of mine on the break and put the car into drive. As I slowly lifted my foot, I felt her concentration from how she went stiff as I stepped on the pedal. It made me smile.

"Hands," I stated, and she instantly lifted her hands to hold the wheel.

I brought her hands up to cover the back of mine so that she knows how to handle the wheels while turning them. Her fingers weakly slipped in between mine when I lifted my hand a bit to turn the wheel. I felt her fingers trying to find their way out from in between mine, but I held them in with a slight grip, not wanting her to escape.

"Se-Sehun... Can we stop the car for a second...?" she asked cautiously.

I raised my eyebrows in question, but still complied to her request. I slowly brought the car to a stop and put the gear in park. I didn't let go of the wheel, still not wanting her to move her hands. But to my dismay, she broke free from my not-so-hard grip and took in a deep breath.

"I think... This is enough for today...?" I could just feel her bite her lips.

"Why ? It's only been like 5 minutes since we actually started to do something," I tried to low-key convince her to stay longer.

"Well, like... I think I'm good on the pedal part," she breathed.

"...."

There was a long silence between us, and I don't know if it was just me, but I could hear the sound of our heartbeats beating together. And I couldn't tell who's was faster.

"I'll get out of the car now," Y/N suddenly stated and started to reach over to grab her shoes.

But before she got far, I grabbed her wrist.

"Wait..." I said, but it came out softer than I wanted, almost a whisper.

I brought her hand back in front of her and now my arm was around her waist. I slowly let go of her wrist and gently made my way to her hand, slipping it under her palm so that I can hold onto it by interlocking our fingers. I moved my left arm and her hands quickly lifted off my hand. I brought my left arm around so that I was now hugging her by the waist. Y/N flinched at the touch and her body was still stiff.

"Umm... S-Sehun...?"

"Mmm," I answered, letting her know she can say what she wants to.

"What... Are we doing...?" she sounded confused, but also troubled.

My brows came to a frown, realizing she might not appreciate these actions. I sighed. I knew I should be letting go of her, but I really didn't want to. And my indecisiveness caused me to rest my forehead on the crook of her neck. I closed my eyes, feeling as though I couldn't hold these feelings inside me anymore.

"Y/N..." I felt her head turn slightly towards me, and so I lifted my head a bit to meet eyes with her.

She blinked multiple times with the bright red color in her cheeks.

"I like you..." I whispered, embarrassed to say it louder.

Her eyes widened while her lashes fluttered. Her face started to flush even more. But the fact that she wasn't pushing me away gave me the confidence to continue.

"No, I love you..." I said as I rested my cheeks on the back of her shoulder, still looking into her eyes which weren't as wide anymore.

"You drive me crazy in everything you do, and I can't help but feel like I want you all to myself... I want to make you mine and keep you in my arms forever..." I calmly blinked, although my eyes were roaming around her features trying to see if anything about her expression showed some kind of rejection or even acceptance.

But instead, I decided to ask her the question.

"Can we be more than friends...?"

After hearing the question, Y/N turned her head forward and dropped them to look my arms that were wrapped around her securely. I then felt her soft hands on my left arm, and then she gave me the slightest nod.

I lifted my head and my eyes widened. I wanted to make sure she said yes. I had to make sure. And so I let go of her hand and brought my hand up to her face to have her turned towards me. Our eyes met for a brief second before hers roamed off.

"Really ?" I asked, almost sounding scared to hear otherwise.

Y/N brought her left hand and grabbed onto my wrist that was holding onto her face. Her lips curled up into a sheepish smile.

"Me too..." she giggled. "I like you too."

And with that, I might've lost my mind. I couldn't help myself and went forward to place my lips on hers. And just as I imagined, they were soft, sweet, and I needed more. Y/N was stiff with tension. I lightly licked the bottom of her top lip asking for entrance and she slightly opened her lips allowing me entry, and once the kiss deepened, her body loosened up and melted in my arms.

Her reaction was just so precious, it made me smile.

I can't believe she's finally mine.

[hirasenshi]

//okay so just a bit of an update below the cut. Potentially triggering content ahoy.

so, as many people here already know, I suffer from depression and anxiety. This...leads to a lot of issues in my life -- both on and offline. I take medicine for it daily (three times daily for the anxiety actually) and until the past week, I thought it was getting better, more managable.

Then suddenly I had days where all I wanted to do was curl up and cry. Okay, par for the course, I think to myself. Some days get worse than others.

I hadn’t bathed in a week. Okay, again, par for the course, I’ll take a bath and I’ll be good.

I’m barely eating. ‘well hey, gallbladder being taken out made my stomach feel smaller for a while, maybe it’s just part of that’ -- only to realize I hadn’t eaten at all some days.

I’m in bed more often than not. I have a shitty sleep schedule, and even though I spend quite a bit of time in bed, I never feel rested. Even on days I am ‘normal’, I’m exhausted, mentally and physically.

Then, a couple nights ago, it got worse.

‘No one would miss me.’

‘The kids would be better off without me.’

‘Hubby would be happier without me.’

These random thoughts mixed with images of myself hurt or dead, or the kids hurt or dead, have been plaguing me the past couple of nights.

Today, hubby gets home from work and is irritated that I’m still in bed. I roll over, and right as I try to go back to sleep, he comes back in.

“We need to talk.”

Anyone who knows me, knows I typically am anxious as shit when that phrase is uttered. Normally, my thoughts just get really fast and I quickly try to distract myself. Today, well, I probably cut circulation off in his arm by holding onto it while trying to calm down as he talked. I listened.

That was all I could do for half an hour.

Then, I started to calm a little -- started to cry a lot -- and we really, really talked.

Things aren’t good at the moment (especially since I’m up and it’s nearly midnight as of this sentence), but...we know what’s wrong. I mean, I can tell shit’s wrong with me.

I’ve never been this bad before. Never.

But...because we’re in fucking America, we have to wait to be able to pay to go see my doctor...

...and this will probably be my last visit with this doctor because hubby’s insurance is changing and my doc isn’t accepting the new insurance. We can’t afford to go somewhere that doesn’t have it.

And we can’t get medicine without money either.

So if I seem...really off the next while, that’s probably a huge ass part of it.

(I mean, I’ve been trying to write this out most of the day but only now could I finish it, and I’m trying not to cry because of something RIN did. Not me. Rin. That’s a really bad sign, especially from a fucking crack RP.)

So yeah. I’m damn sure not fishing for well, anything, I just wanted to type this out, and share it with whoever feels like reading.

Maybe I’ll feel a little less alone that way. Dunno.

Either way, headed to bed. Night.

[inquisitorius-sin-bin]

Dr. Victre - Chapter 3

Introduction | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

Whirrr-ing! Whirrr-ing!

Lysa slowly came to, rubbing her eyes and reaching out for her glasses. The late nights she had suffered lately were beginning to take a toll on her. She had allotted herself an extra hour of sleep this morning, as it would do no good for a surgeon to be weary or sluggish at work. 

Her feet touched the cold duracrete floor as she inched herself towards the end of the bed, and ultimately into the sonic shower. From there she sluggishly slid open the door to her closet, which is where she found her routine most unfortunately stalled.

It took her a few moments to register, and she stood there dully looking over the grey and pale blue field armor within. Perhaps there was a problem with the sanitizer, and they have sent up a spare field set, she thought. Still, there were actual plates of armor, and a helmet. 

Right on cue, her comm link beeped, and she answered.

“Dr. Victre. Good, you’re already awake. Report to the main hangar immediately,” the Grand Inquisitor said, his image flickering before her.

“The Hangar?”

“Yes. I assume you are aware where it is located,” his tone was short.

“Well, yes. But sir, is this an off-base emergency? I am not cleared for field work...”

The Inquisitor’s pause was short, but Lysa had already hung her head in apology for speaking out - a gesture he seemed to acknowledge.

“You will report to the main hangar immediately.”

“Yes, sir.”

Lysa waited for him to end the comm, and changed quickly, nearly forgetting to grab the vial of capsules from her drawer and tuck them in the inner pocket of the heavy grey uniform.

At the hangar, the Grand Inquisitor was already pacing quietly, making neat rows of perfect lines with his steps. He sensed Dr. Victre before he saw her. Her mind was clouded with anxieties. He heard her laden steps as she approached with a loaded bag of medical supplies on her back.

“My apologies, sir!” she reported, out of breath. “I didn’t know what to bring, since I don’t know what I’m doing yet.”

Well, she had thought to bring her own supplies. Perhaps that initiative was worth rewarding, the Grand Inquisitor thought.

“That’s alright.” He acknowledged her with a nod before marching to the Sentinel-Class Shuttle which he had ordered two unenthusiastic stormtroopers to prep for them. “Debriefing will have to take place on site.”

He felt her tense before she spoke.

“I would really rather know what to prepare myself for before I jump in, sir.”

“That is simply not an option, Doctor.” He was firm, but not as stern as he could have been. She was certainly on edge.

Dr. Victre stepped inside the shuttle after her superior, secured her bag in the cargo hold, and took a seat well away from the Inquisitor.

He noted her aversion towards him. She was learning quickly, it seemed. Still, her instability was pervasive - distracting, and dangerous. He would leave her alone and see if she wouldn’t diffuse on her own. If not, he would be forced to intervene.

She took her datapad out and started reading through the various papers she had downloaded from the Holonet database. Perhaps there was something she could discern before they landed that would help her prepare. The Third, Fourth, and Eighth Brothers were still on Stygeon, as well as the Eleventh Sister. That significantly reduced the possibilities. Wherever the Inquisitorius’ second training facility was, she was reasonably certain the Ninth, Tenth, and Twelfth were located there after a series of mission failures. 

So it was the First Sister, Second Sister, Fifth Brother, or Seventh Sister. A twenty-five percent chance of encountering Pau’an, Chiss, Nylotican, or Mirialan. Looking up information on the Fifth Brother’s species would be futile, she knew. Mirialans were common on the Core Worlds where she grew up, so she was most familiar with the Seventh Sister’s anatomy. And with the Grand Inquisitor there, he could perhaps fill in some of the gaps in her Pau’an knowledge.

She reasoned that the most productive use of her time would be to start by reading information on the Chiss. There was actually an abundance of data, which fascinated her. It appeared the Chiss had an intimate connection with the Empire, and she had even heard rumors of a Chiss Grand Admiral. Their oxygen reactions were of particular biochemical interest. One day she resolved to extract some bone marrow and examine their erythropoietin, or whatever analogous cytokine they had in its place.

She yawned, breaking her own concentration. Her weariness was starting to set in once more, it seemed. Only then did she look up to see the Grand Inquisitor’s shadowy form watching her from the port side of shuttle. His eyes glowed yellow, only turning away after he realized he had been spotted.

“May I know how much longer until we reach our destination?” she called across the absurdly large space.

The Grand Inquisitor’s eyes narrowed as he approached. There was likely no harm in that. It wasn’t as though she could determine their destination from the travel time alone. 

“Eight more hours,” he said, taking a seat across from her. She seemed to have calmed considerably.

“A nearby system, then,” she decided, cautiously unstrapping herself from her seat and turning on her side to lay across a row of them. “Is it a highly populated planet? Felucia? Mandalore? Or even as far as Mon Cala, or Lothal? These shuttles are so fast...”

He tensed his lip. She was good. “Not quite that fast.”

“Ah, Felucia then.”

“I told you, debriefing will take place on site,” he warned her. “You don’t have the clearance to know our destination. Even the pilots are unaware of our bearing. The nav computer was set without their input.”

“Alright, alright. But as soon as we land on the planet, I’m probably going to have a good idea where we are. I hope that isn’t a problem,” she sighed, crossing her arms on her chest.

“I have no doubt that you will,” he responded, “you are a keen observer, and have good intuition.”

Dr. Victre’s ears perked at the compliment. “Thank you, Inquisitor.”

He huffed in response, and she could tell that the conversation had ended. She rolled onto her side, facing away from him, in an attempt to doze. The Inquisitor continued to watch her from the other side of the aisle. She could practically feel his eyes on her. Soon, she gave up her attempts, and sat up.

“You know-”

“-Know what?” he interrupted.

Victre tried not to let her lack of rest make her irritable. “I found some papers that might be of use in understanding the physiology of your species.”

The Grand Inquisitor was not one for idle conversation. He locked eyes with her until she continued.

“Well, the thing is, all of the papers are in your native language. Utapese, that is. Since we have several hours before we land, perhaps you might take a look for me? A translation would go a long way in reducing the number of tests I have to run on you, and the First Sister.”

He paused for a moment, seemingly lost in thought. “I will have a look,” he finally conceded.

“Great! This will help me tremendously, I’ve starting to build up my own resource library! You know, it would be good to have all of these papers on hand, should we be taken offline. I hear you’ve got big plans for the Spire!” she beamed.

His face twisted. “Who told you that, Doctor?”

“Ohh, I’m sorry, it was just a rumor. Some troopers said you were renovating the lower levels. Personally, I’d be glad for the base to liven up a bit. Things have been getting much more interesting ever since you arrived with the rest of the Inquisitors. My work sure seems a lot more fulfilling.”

Lysa took a new seat next to the Inquisitor, handing him her datapad.

He looked over her for a moment before taking it. “These troopers talk too much. Secrecy is of utmost importance in our work.” 

“Right well, none of us get off base much. I mean word may spread, but it certainly will never leave Stygeon!”

“You are naive,” he grumbled, looking over the papers she had collected. The archive marks made his stomach twist. He looked up abruptly. “Where did you get these?”

“Those?” She shrugged. “Just a very thorough literature source for anything related to Pau’an biology. Is something wrong?”

He did his best to calm the simmering anger inside of him. “No, nothing wrong, but if you want me to translate these, I’m going to need some space!” he hissed.

“R-right...” Dr. Victre stood, moving down half a row. The distance was ridiculous, really, but once she reached an ‘acceptable’ seat, the Pau’an turned his agitated gaze away from her and back towards the datapad. His attentions occupied, it wasn’t long before she could comfortably lay down and get some rest.

She awoke with a headache, realizing she had forgotten to take of her glasses, which were now baring deep into her temples. She made a few quick adjustments before hearing the Grand Inquisitor loudly scolding a crew member. No, not a crew member, but a holo.

She quickly closed her eyes, pretending to be at rest once more. The Grand Inquisitor’s boots clipped the floor as he paced with unusual ferocity. She listened closely to try and discern who he was communicating with.

“No, for the last time-” he growled, his tone much more fierce than normal, “-we are in hyperspace! There is no way for us to get there faster. You were the one who sprang the trap prematurely, and you will be the one to suffer the consequences should these months of careful planning end in failure!”

“Well I don’t know how long she has left, but she’s wailing like she’s dying and it’s... attracting attention.” 

Victre tilted her head as much as she dared. She thought she recognized the dark, usually spiteful voice of the Seventh Sister. It would make sense, she was one of her potential candidates, but there was something off about the situation.

“Then find a remote location and activate your beacon there. We will find you, and you will keep her alive and alert until Dr. Victre arrives. Understood?”

“But sir, I do not know if she w-”

“Am I understood?” the Grand Inquisitor repeated, teeth grating together.

Finally, the Mirialan broke. “Yes, sir.” she resigned, ending the comm.

Victre heard the Inquisitor’s deep sigh, but still flinched when he called her name from less than an arm’s reach away. When he wanted to be, he could be more silent than a thieving Tooka, she had learned through personal experience.

“Sir!” she gasped as she fumbled to right herself. Her heart pounded as she feared a reprisal for her active eavesdropping. 

No punishment came this time, only a handful of flimsies and her datapad pushed back into her hands. 

“Wha...” she stammered. She had only known field scientists to use actual flimsy, but even that was back in her university days. Back when she was just Lysa, no Dr. attached surname.

“Your translations.” the Inquisitor explained, irritated that it even needed stating. “Though if you continue to need such assistance, I will attach a protocol droid to your unit. I do not have the time for this, nor does my occupation encompass such base functions.”

“Of course- yes sir!” She bowed her head to avoid his intense stare and let her gaze fall to his immaculately hand-written notes. “I will certainly bear that in mind for the future.”

He seemed to nod in approval at her acceptance. His heels tapped firmly together and he turned, walking for the entrance to the shuttle’s lower levels. “I will be below, and it would be best for you if you would avoid disturbing me,” he said as he walked off.

Dr. Victre had no plans to interrupt him. Really, she was still looking for where all the torn out flimsy and ink had come from.

Tropical climate, vibrantly colored colossal fungal flora, bioluminescent forms predominating a largely shaded understory... Felucia. Dr. Victre couldn’t help but smirk at her lucky guess.

“Quickly now,” the Grand Inquisitor ushered the gawking biologist along. Her exuberance was palpable, but they had an urgent mission to complete. If the Seventh Sister hadn’t completely botched it yet. 

Every slight movement of the forest, each cursed insect or avian that flew their way, nearly every single new fungus they came across, the doctor had to be reminded to keep moving. 

“A Mycomicante giganteus!” she suddenly exclaimed, raising her datapad to record images. “I never thought I’d get to see one outside of the floral conservatory on Corellia!”

“Put that away,” he huffed, listening through the idle whistles and chatter of the nearby animal life for any signs of danger.

Victre followed along, quickly noting down as much as possible as she slowly slipped her datapad back into her loaded bag, which would have weighed her down considerably if she weren’t experiencing absolute glee at the way her footprints in the loamy soil lit up with the pressure from her stride.

“You don’t think this is prime territory for Rancor, do you?” she asked, ever so slightly winded from her exertions.

The Grand Inquisitor’s eyes rolled back. While he prided himself on his control most of the time, her lack of regard for the severity of their situation was truly grating. “I would not have brought you this way if I did.”

“Ohh. Pity.” Her shoulders slumped, and she shifted to offset the weight on them.

His lips lifted in a snarl, but Victre would not notice from several steps behind him. He visually checked his peripherals one more time, before chancing a glance down on his tracker for the Seventh Sister’s beacon.

A deep roaring sound shook the area, and he felt the surge in Victre’s heart rate before she leapt up to his side, shaking, as she reached for her blaster. He nearly stopped her, not keen on letting someone so nervous handle a weapon, but her hands - she was reaching for her pocket. She... did not seem to possess a weapon at all. That would have to be addressed some other time.

He drew his saber from his back, just in case. He was certain the sound was of their target, not a Rancor, but it never hurt to be safe. The blade illuminated with a fierce hiss, glowing brighter than even the forest around them.

Dr. Victre’s eyes went wide, but her breathing seemed to still some. “Is that... a lightsaber?”

Well, she would have seen one eventually. He pressed on. The beacon was close, and if they could hear the Ithorian, they should be within visual range relatively quickly, he reasoned. Also, if we can hear her, she must still be alive.

“Yes, it is,” he finally answered. It seemed the threat of danger had increased her abilities to keep up.

“Ohh.” Victre swallowed her next thought. She could swear only Jedi carried lightsabers, but she knew in the Empire talking about such things was highly discouraged.

She heard the low frequency sound once again, and it shook the ground beneath her feet. It sounded different than before, almost - mournful. She felt okay, and her breathing was under control. Something about being next to someone with a lightsaber was very reassuring. She released the sweaty vial she had been palming in her uniform pocket. The Inquisitor seemed rather calm about their predicament, at least. She took that as a good sign.

Less than an hour of walking later, the howling noise was getting too much for her to bear, and she was clutching her ears with both hands. She nearly plowed into the Inquisitor as he stopped abruptly in his tracks. She had seen him turning down the intensity of his ear covers as they walked. In fact, she had almost asked him if he had another pair on hand.

“You wanted to know why you were being brought into the field?” he seemed unaware of his own shouting.

“Yes!” Victre cried back, her whole body feeling the vibrations passing through her. 

He stepped aside from the path, motioning to an unstable looking old farmhouse. “Your patient lies within.”

He was grinning, and she decided she did not trust that. His face was almost glowing a more intense red than usual, and he seemed on the verge of excitement. 

Dr. Victre cautiously stepped forward, cringing at the way the wooden planks beneath her feet gave. She could not hear them squeak over the overbearing low tones which rattled her insides. She could scarcely see without the light of the Inquisitor’s saber, but soon she spotted the reflective red panels of the Seventh Sister’s armor. And next to her, the source of the thunderous sounds.

An Ithorian, she recognized immediately. She had heard of their impressive noise making capabilities, but they were so peaceful, they rarely ever spoke up. Of course, this one seemed to be in massive distress. It - her - she noticed was clutching at a swollen abdomen. The way her legs were propped against the dusty floorboards, the slime oozing from the creature’s soaked garments... It did not take long for Victre to know exactly what was going on, and she was cold with dread.

The Inquisitors circled like predators on a hunt, the Grand Inquisitor’s blade dancing just centimeters above the floor. He could feel the fear of his prey, and no doubt, the Ithorian’s awareness to the force allowed it to feel his anticipation too.

“Well, Dr. Victre,” he said, “I believe it is time you got to work.”

Introduction | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5

[voyagerafod]

Star Trek Voyager: A Fire of Devotion: Part 1 of 4: Louder Than Sirens: Chapter Eight

 Chapter Eight

    Seven of Nine was surprisingly calm when she entered sickbay. She’s heard that Samantha Wildman, like much of the crew, had been hurt when the ship had attempted to pass through a nearby nebula, the radiation causing burns and sores. But Samantha herself had been the one to contact her, to let her know the burns were minor, and that Naomi, while scared, had not been hurt at all.     She saw Samantha getting off the bio-bed and helping a much more severely injured crewman, an Ensign named Dell who had been very helpful in helping Seven build a resonance chamber a few weeks prior, on to it.     “Hi,” Samantha said when she saw Seven.     “Ah good, you’re here,” the Doctor said, shoving a dermal regenerator into Seven’s hand without asking first. “You’re needed on the bridge, I’m too short-handed down here to go myself. I had to draft Ensign Wildman to help me.”     “Of course Doctor, I just wanted to check in on her first,” Seven said.     “I’m good Annie, but you should get the bridge. And hurry, it sounded like they got some of the worst of it.”     “Very well,” Seven said, offering the Doctor a polite nod and smiling at Samantha as she headed out.

    When Seven got to the bridge with the regenerator, she sighed as she saw that for one gold shirted crewman was already dead, his face burned beyond recognition.     “Damn,” she muttered.     “Do we know what caused this?” Janeway said.     “I believe the Doctor will know once he’s finished treating the wounded,” Seven said as she began applying the dermal regenerator to an injured Ensign. “Whatever it was, it would appear to have affected everyone except the Doctor and myself.”     “Hopefully that will give us a way to counteract this,” Janeway said. “That nebula is so big it would take a year to go around, I don’t want to add that much time to the trip home.”     “Captain,” Seven said. “As a result of the course adjustments we made with the new astrometrics lab we already took five years off the flight plan. Even with an extra year, that is still a net loss of time spent in the Delta Quadrant.”     “Don’t forget the six months we had to add to get around the Krenim,” Janeway said.     “Even so Captain-”     “I’m not ready to give up on finding a safe way through that nebula just yet Seven. If there’s no way through, we’ll go around but we have to try.”     “Understood,” Seven said.

---

    A few hours later, Janeway entered astrometrics where Seven of Nine was figuring out just how large the nebula ahead of them was.     “Report,” she said. Seven immediately brought the data up on the viewscreen.     “It is approximately one hundred and ten light years wide,” she said. “You were correct that going around it would take over a year. Through it would take almost one month, if we could find a way to inoculate against the subnucleonic radiation.”

    “Subnucleonic radiation?” Janeway said. “That’s what hurt us?”     “Correct. I have passed that information along to the Doctor. If he is unable to find a medical solution, going around is the only viable option.”     “We have traveled fifteen thousand light years. We haven't been stopped by temporal anomalies, warp core breaches, viruses, or hostile aliens. It’ll be a cold day in Hell if we're going to be stopped by a goddamn nebula. I’ll be in sickbay. Keep finding out what you can about this thing."

    “Yes Captain,” Seven said as Janeway stormed out.

    Once she got to sickbay, she didn’t even need to ask the Doctor for his report, as he began relaying what he’d learned.     “I’ve analyzed samples of the nebula’s gases,” he said.     “Subnucleonic radiation,” Janeway said. “Seven already informed me. She said you were working on a possible inoculation for it.”

    “I appreciate her vote of confidence, but I’m afraid that’s just not possible. But, I think I have found a solution that will keep us from adding to add another year to our journey home.”     “That was quick,” Janeway said.     “It helped that part of this idea came from another idea I was working on that I was able to modify,” the Doctor walked over to one of the consoles in his office and tapped a few buttons. “Stasis chambers,” he said. “Independent life support for each unit.”     Janeway was shocked at what she was seeing. “Are you seriously suggesting we put the entire crew in suspended animation?”     “Yes. I, of course, would stay on-line to monitor everyone. And since Seven of Nine was unaffected, she can assist me in handling the day to day operations of the ship until we’ve passed through the nebula.”     “This seems like a pretty desperate move, Doctor. Are you sure you’ve considered all other options?” Janeway said, hating the idea of having to sleep for an entire month, let alone leaving her first command in the hands of a hologram and an ex-Borg.     “I have considered other options Captain. We really only have two if we intend to continue heading home. Go around, or this. The former is the safest of these two options but I know you too well to even try and push for it.”     Janeway sighed, closed her eyes, and tapped her comm badge.     “Janeway to Seven of Nine, report to sickbay.”     “On my Captain,” Seven replied.

    “I appreciate your efforts Doctor. Get to work getting enough stasis units ready.”     “Understood,” the Doctor said.

---

    “I’d be lying if I said didn’t have concerns,” Seven of Nine said as she rubbed Samantha Wildman’s shoulders. “Most humanoid species do not react well to long-term isolation. Captain Janeway is correct that, as a former Borg drone, this will be even more difficult for me. She expressed concern if I could handle it if the Doctor were to go offline due to a malfunction.”     “I think you can do it,” Samantha said softly, leaning back to rest her head on Seven’s chest.     “I know you can do it Seven,” Naomi said, looking up from her book. “You and the Doctor are the smartest people I know, you can do anything!” Seven chuckled at Naomi’s enthusiastic smile, even as Samantha pretended to be offended at having been excluded from her daughter’s ‘smart people’ list. Seven watched as Samantha got up and went to help Naomi get ready for the stasis tubes.     I have never had so many doubts about my abilities before, she thought. The whole crew will be counting on me and the Doctor to get them through this alive, but it’s them I’m most worried for.

    “Remember sweetie,” Samantha said to Naomi, “we need to be at the cargo bay by 1700 hours, so now’s the time to pick which of your stuffed animals you wanna bring with you. You can only bring two.”     “Okay Mom,” Naomi said, getting off the floor and going to her room.

Seven got off the couch and hugged Samantha from behind, now resting her head on Samantha’s back.     “It’s going to be a long month,” she said.

“You can do this Annie,” Samantha replied. “In the past year you have helped saved this ship several times, adapted to being cut off from the Borg collective, built the best astrometrics lab any Starfleet ship has ever had, and managed to start a dare-I-say successful romantic relationship despite lacking any practical experience. Even if something does go wrong with the Doctor, you’ll get us to the other side of that nebula.”     “I hope your confidence in me is not misplaced,” Seven said, which was as close as she could bring herself to admitting her fears even to the being on this ship she trusted most.     “Don’t call it confidence, call it faith,” Samantha said.

“Nonetheless,” Seven said. “While the Doctor and I are under orders to monitor the crew’ vital signs four times day, I think I may try to sneak in a few extra sessions for you and Naomi in between my regular duties.”     “Don’t do anything reckless on our account babe,” Samantha said. “Just keep the ship safe, and in a month we’ll wake up feeling like we just had a nice long nap.”     “Once we have completed the mission,” Seven said. “I think I will finally take you up on your offer of the holodeck program you talked about.” Samantha sighed contentedly at that.     “Oh, you will love it, Annika. Santa Fe is one of the few cities on Earth that has most of it’s pre-Eugenics Wars buildings still standing. I got to see it on a class trip when I was in high school and I loved it, but I haven’t been back since I graduated. I just hope I get to show you the real thing someday.”     “I look forward to it,” Seven said.

---

    At 1700, the crew began entering the stasis pods, with Seven and the Doctor overseeing them. The command staff were among the first to enter, although Tom Paris was showing reluctance.     “Do I detect a hint of claustrophobia Lieutenant?” the Doctor said. Tom laughed nervously.     “I just don’t know why they have to design these things like coffins,” he said.     “Whatever,” Harry Kim said. “I’m just looking forward to what is probably going to be my best sleep in months. If you like I’m sure Seven of Nine would be willing to replicate you a teddy bear.”     “That would not be necessary,” Seven said. “Naomi will be leaving a number of her stuffed animals behind, I’m sure I could convince her to loan one to Mr. Paris.”     Harry laughed at that. The Doctor grinned, and Captain Janeway turned to hide her face from Seven’s view, presumably stifling a laugh of her own.     “Bite me Seven,” Tom said.     “Considering you’re dating a Klingon that was a poor choice of words,” Seven said. From the other side of the cargo bay she could hear B’Elanna laughing now too.     “Don’t encourage them,” Tom said, shaking his head. He turned to face Seven. “This is payback over the whole ‘language’ thing isn’t it?”

    “Sleep tight,” the Doctor said, as Harry and finally Tom got in their respective pods, the doors closing over them. Soon, only Janeway was left, having told Seven earlier that she would go in last.

    “I’m leaving this ship in good hands,” Janeway said as she climbed into her own pod. “I have every confidence in both of you.”     The Doctor grinned. Seven simply nodded.     “Thank you Captain,” she said. “And thank you for insuring that the Wildman’s pods were close to my alcove. I had not even considered asking.”     “I thought having them nearby might make this a little easier on you. Feel free to talk to them. They won’t hear you in the pods of course, but it’s not for their benefit. Trust me on this,” Janeway said.

    Once Janeway’s pod was sealed, the Doctor turned to Seven.     “Well,” he said. “It’s just the two of us now.”     “Indeed,” Seven said.

---

    "Personal log, Seven of Nine, stardate 51929.3. This is the tenth day of our journey through the nebula. I've created an efficient daily routine. Having a set list of regular tasks to perform and a deadline to accomplish them, even if it self-imposed, has been helpful thus far, though with it only being less than two weeks in, I am concerned that declaring victory over isolation would be premature. The human term for it is ‘jinxing.’ Superstitious perhaps, but there is is historical precedent for early pronouncements of accomplishment leading to undesirable outcomes.

    “I have taken to adding a flavor called pumpkin spice to my standard nutritional supplement, as per Ensign Wildman’s suggestion. Mr. Neelix would likely not approve, given he tends to operate his kitchen in a fashion not unlike the brutal dictators of early 20th century Earth, and he does not grow any of these pumpkins in the aeroponics bay, thus I am replicating it. I find I rather like it, though not as much as when Samantha uses it in her cooking. Still, I think this will be a regular occurrence. Speaking of Sam, I have taken the captain’s advice and when I can, I will occasionally sit between her and Naomi’s pods, and talk to them. It is frivolous of course, but also oddly comforting. I look forward to seeing them again once we have passed this nebula.

    “One note of concern; I have on occasion found myself saying ‘Thank you’ to the ship’s computer after it performs a task I have ordered it to. I hope I am not becoming emotionally attached to it. Perhaps it is an early symptom of some form of isolation sickness. I will speak to the Doctor about it upon completion of this entry.

“End log.”

---

    On her way to sickbay, Seven of Nine found Tom Paris lying on the floor, unconscious in the doorway to the cargo bay.

“Not again” she groaned. “Seven of Nine to the Doctor,” she said after tapping her comm badge.     “Mr. Paris?”     “Correct. I am beginning to suspect adding the ability to open the pods from the inside was a mistake.”     “A necessary safety feature. At least so far he seems to be the only one abusing it. I’m on my way. Get him back into his pod as quick as you can.”     “I know the drill,” she said. She tapped the badge again, and put her arms under Tom’s and dragged him to his feet.     “Samantha would think less of me for being this selfish, but I must admit I find myself resentful of your claustrophobia. Lucky for me you can’t hear me right now.”

    Once Tom was back in his pod, she closed the door to it, just in time for the Doctor to arrive.     “Vital signs?” he asked.     “I was just about to check,” she said, going to the console on the back of the pod. “They are stable. No signs of any permanent damage.”     “Well that’s good at least. I wish I’d known before we put him in there the first time how severe his claustrophobia actually was.”

    “Indeed. Having to reinter him at least once every several days frequently forces me to alter my daily routine,” Seven said.     “Well, that might not be such a bad thing. Routine is a double edged sword, it can as easily become a source of frustration as it can as source of stability.”     Seven sighed, not wanting to admit the Doctor was right, but knowing that he most likely was.     “I’d suggest more social interaction training on the holodeck, but you keep finding loopholes in my lessons.”     “The social lessons are frivolous. You claim they are to help me learn how to interact with the crew properly, yet I would point out that without such programs I was still able to start a romantic relationship, and I even on occasion dine with the crew in the mess hall. I think you only force me into these programs because you can’t accept the fact that I am growing in my humanity faster than you prepared for, and you don’t want these holodeck programs you designed for me to go to waste. You failed to predict the pace of my emotional growth. Accept it, and move on.”

    “How you interact with most of the crew would be acceptable for a Vulcan, but that’s not what I’m trying to teach-”     The ship shuddered, cutting the Doctor off, much to Seven of Nine’s relief.     “Warning: Emergency procedures are in effect,” the computer’s voice said.     “Computer,” the Doctor said, “What is the nature of the emergency?”

    “The antimatter storage tanks are failing.”     Seven and the Doctor shared a look of concern, and bolted for the exit. As soon as they reached the door to engineering, Seven began tapping on one of the consoles next to it to see just what was going wrong.     “We’ve got to eject the antimatter tanks,” she said, deciding to spare the Doctor the exact details of, as her human crewmates would put it, precisely how screwed they were.     “We’ll need to coordinate the effort,” the Doctor said. “You go into engineering, I’ll head to the bridge.”

---

    When Seven of Nine opened the door to engineering, she was braced for the worst, expecting to see the room flooded with plasma, worried that she wouldn’t be able to eject the tanks except possibly at the cost of her own life. But what she saw instead was the room exactly as it was when she last inspected it.

    “This is mildly confusing,” she muttered under her breath. She stepped further inside, looking for any sign of the crisis the computer was reporting,

    “Bridge to Seven,” she heard the Doctor’s voice say, sounding panicked.     “I’m here,” she replied.     “It’s worse than we thought. Engineering is flooded with plasma. Are you already-”     “Doctor, there’s nothing happening here.”

    “What? But internal scanners show, wait, there’s another alarm. Seven, the hull is breaching, get out!”     “Doctor, I am in engineering right now. You left me right outside the door, remember? There is no plasma leak, no hull breach. We’ve received a false alarm. Stand down.”

    “Are you certain?”   

    Seven sighed and rolled her eyes. “No Doctor. I am in fact dead and my ghost is feeding you false information.”     There was a pause.     “Well, at least we know your sense of sarcasm is developing normally,” the Doctor said.

---

    “The subnucleonic radiation from the nebula has begun to affect the bio-neural gel packs,” the Doctor said, looking at console in engineering.” As a result, the computer is detecting false signals relating to the warp core.”

    “I have already determined the location of the damaged packs,” Seven said. “And I have a repair kit ready.”

    “Good work, Seven. Let’s go.”

    The two crawled into a nearby Jeffries tube, ready to get to work. The last thing either of them wanted was another false alarm, or worse, a real crisis not being detected until it was too late.     “These tubes weren’t designed with comfort in mind were they?” the Doctor said as they crawled along.     “No, they were not,” Seven said. “Complaining about it now though accomplishes nothing. We can access sequence six-theta-nine from the junction just ahead. That’s where the damaged gel packs are.”

    “Got it,” the Doctor said. Seven of Nine quickly got the panel off, and removed the damaged gel pack, which the Doctor immediately began scanning with his tricorder.     “I’ll want to get this one back to sickbay for further study.”     “Of course,” Seven said.

    “Well, this journey certainly hasn’t been boring has-” the Doctor began to appear fuzzy.     “Your mobile emitter must’ve been damaged,” Seven said, not hiding the concern in her voice. “We need to get you back to sickbay, quickly.”     “Hurry, we may lose my program if we don’t.”

    “Don’t panic, it’s counterproductive,”

    “Easy for you to say,” the Doctor said. Once they were out of the Jeffries tube, the two ran as fast as they could, reaching sickbay just before the Doctor’s mobile emitter gave out.

    “Hand me the emitter,” she said. The Doctor did so, and she began scanning it. After a few moments, she took in a deep breath. “The emitter has been damaged by the nebula in the same way as the gel packs. I’m afraid you can no longer leave sickbay.”     “I was afraid of that. That means it’ll be up to you to take care of everything on the ship.”     “I can do this Doctor,” Seven said. “I will ensure this ship makes it through the nebula.”     “Do whatever it takes to help the ship,” the Doctor said. “But don’t forget to take care of yourself too. We can’t afford to have either Voyager or yourself break down when we’ve still got weeks to go.”

---

    “Personal log, Seven of Nine, stardate 51932.4. The twenty-ninth day in the nebula. I believe I'm beginning to feel the effects of this prolonged isolation. My dreams have been... disturbing, but I'm determined to fulfill my responsibilities. With the Doctor confined to sickbay, I have taken on increasing duties. Ship's systems are beginning to require constant maintenance in order to avert disaster. This morning I must... purge the auxiliary plasma vents.

“This increase in the amount of responsibility for me has meant I’ve not been able to spend time talking to Sammy or Naomi when I check on their stasis chambers. I regret having referred to it as frivolous in an earlier entry. I took it for granted, the comfort that it brought me. Perhaps if I finish the vents early, I can check in on them early.

“End log."

---

    Seven entered the bridge and went over to the helm controls, as she usually did at this time of day, to see if there was a need to adjust course. There usually was, and today was no different.     “Computer,” she said, grateful that she’d be hearing at least one voice other than her own or the Doctor’s. “trim heading by .31 degrees port.”     No response.     “Computer? Computer respond. Trim heading by .31 degrees port!”

    The computer took several, long, agonizing seconds to respond. When it did, the voice was slow, and eventually cut out altogether, ending on “Unable to comply.”     Seven sat down at the helm and did the course correction manually, then ordered the computer to diagnose itself. It provided a text report on a nearby monitor, showing that one-third of the gel pack relays were non-functional.     After uttering a number of curse words she’d learned from various crewmembers, she had the computer perform a rerouting of processor signals to bypass the affected gel packs. She went over to the turbolift and stepped in.     “Astrometrics,” she said tentatively, half worried that the turbolifts would suddenly stop working. Mercifully, the lift worked perfectly. As soon as she got to astrometrics, she began doing long range scans.

“Display Voyager’s current position within the nebula,” she said. The screen adjusted to show her the information. “How long until we exit the nebula?”     “Six days, five hours,” the computer replied, the rerouting of the processor signals having worked.     “Six days,” Seven said. “That, does not seem too long.”

Seven, a bit more confident now, returned to her plans for the day and headed off to engineering. Along the way however, she heard something that made her stop in her tracks. It took her a moment to process, but it sounded like cries of pain. And the person it sounded like they were coming from was Lieutenant Paris.     “Dammit Tom, why now?” she groaned. She walked as fast as she could towards the noise, but saw nothing there. She went to Deck 14, but all was as it should be. Tom’s pod showed no sign of having been recently opened. She was about to head to sickbay, to ask the Doctor to do an examination on her, when the proximity alert alarm went off.

Feeling less like a Borg now than ever, she threw up her arms in frustration.     “What fresh Hell are you visiting on me now Voyager?!” she yelled as she stormed out of the cargo bay.     “Please restate the question,” the computer said.     “Never mind. Are we being hailed by the approaching ship?”     “Affirmative.”     “Open a channel.”     “Channel opened.”     “This is the Federation starship Voyager. State your identity.”

“My name is Trajis Lo-Tarik. I’m in need of a microfusion chamber. Would you consider a trade?”     “Why are you in this nebula?” she said, suspicious of the alien on the other end of the communication.     “Trying to get through it, same as you I wager.”     Seven thought about it for a moment. “Do you have liquid helium?” she said.     “As a matter fact,” Trajis said. “I’ve got an ample supply. Today’s your lucky day.”     “That is debatable. I will beam you directly to one of our cargo bays.”

“I didn’t get your name, Captain,” Trajis said.     “I am only the acting commander of this vessel. My designation is Seven of Nine.”     “Seven of Nine eh? Okay then. Meet you in your cargo bay.”     Seven of Nine could hear Samantha’s voice in her mind calling the man she was speaking to a creep, but couldn’t quite put into words why the man’s tone made her feel so uncomfortable. When she got to the cargo bay, Trajis was leaning against one of the secured, empty cargo containers.     “You must be Seven of Nine,” he said.     “That is correct,” she said.

“That’s an unusual name, even for an alien,” he said. “How did you get it?”     “It was my Borg designation.”     “Borg? Never heard of ‘em. You alone on this ship?”     A phaser, a phaser, my kingdom for a phaser, Seven thought, paraphrasing something she’d heard the Doctor say once, something to do with horses.

“No. The crew is in stasis, and our Doctor is in sickbay,” she said.     “Same is true of my co-pilot on my ship. Luckily, I happen to be resistant to the effects of the nebula.”     Although Seven was feeling uncomfortable with the man’s proximity to her, she decided to ask the next question on her mind anyway.     “What about your technology? The radiation has been damaging to ours,” she said.     “I’ve had to rebuild my engines twice already. If you’ve been in here for three weeks, you’re already doing better than I’ve been.”     “I am hopeful our propulsion system will remain operational for the next six days,” Seven said, again moving away from Trajis while not trying to appear rude.     Forget being rude, her inner voice told her. This guy is dangerous and you know it. Get him off the ship already.

“I must admit,” Trahis said, disrupting Seven’s train of thought. “I was surprised to see another ship in here. No one has ever managed to completely cross the nebula.”     “If it weren’t a necessity we wouldn’t have even attempted,” she said.

“I’m here by choice,” he said, standing a few feet further away now much to Seven’s relief. “I’m determined to be the first to cross. I’ve tried five times before and failed. This time I’m sure I’ll make it. I want to see what's the other side.”

“I can assure you it’s nothing remarkable,” Seven said.

“But I’ll be the first of my kind to see it.” Tarjis got closer again as Seven opened the lid on a container that she believed had a microfusion chamber in it. If it did, that meant that this man would be gone that much faster.     “Tell me,” he said. “How are you dealing with the loneliness?”     Seven nearly shuddered at that. “What do you mean?” she said.

“You know what I mean. No matter what you say, you’re all alone here. The isolation in this vast space must be unbearable. I’ve heard that drones can't stand being alone, severed from the Collective.”     “You just told me that you had never heard of the Borg before,” Seven said, sternly. Her hand reaching for a nearby spanner. “I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”     “How about we get something to eat instead?” he said.     “No,” Seven said, now brandishing the spanner like a club.     “Hmm. And here I was just making idle conversation. I guess you aren’t that worried about the consequences of loneliness.”     “I’m escorting you to the transporter room,” she said. Trajis shrugged, then went out the cargo bay ahead of her. While escorting him to the transporter room thought, she thought she heard Tom Paris calling for help again. Reflexively, she looked around, but saw nobody. She then turned to Trajis to make sure he didn’t try to get the drop on her, but he was gone. She ran in the direction he may have headed and saw a shadow moving.

“Seven of Nine to the Doctor. We have an intruder.”

---

    In sickbay, The Doctor scanned for but found no alien life form aboard or the ship he came from.     “It is possible he has some sort of cloaking technology,” Seven said.     “Agreed,” the Doctor said. “However even though I’m making progress on my mobile emitter, I still cannot leave sickbay. You’ll need to arm yourself and track this Lo-Tarik character down alone.”     Seven nodded. “Understood.”     “You look uncertain,” The Doctor said.     “I will do what must be done,” Seven said. “As I have said on multiple occasions since we entered this nebula I can do this. I can’t let Sam down. She put in her faith in me, and I intend to show her that it was not misplaced.”

    The Doctor wasn’t sure he believed Seven was telling him the whole truth. He was certain she was afraid and was trying to hide. Before he could offer up any words of encouragement, the garbled voice of the computer cut him off.

    “Warning: Deuterium tank levels are fluctuating beyond acceptable tolerance levels.”

“It’s likely Trajis has something to do with that,” Seven said. “I will obtain a phaser rifle.”

“Good luck,” the Doctor said, watching with concern as Seven of Nine left sickbay.

---

    Seven moved cautiously through the corridors, gripping her phaser rifle tightly. She could hear the echoing voices of crew members calling for help, but pushed them aside, assuming they were hallucinations like the ones she’d experienced earlier today. The hardest voice to ignore though was Samantha’s, but that voice was cut off.

“Seven of Nine. That’s an unusual name. How did you get it?” Trajis said, taunting her over the ship’s comm system.

She refused to answer.     “Okay then Seven of Nine, if you don’t wanna chat, I’ll go ahead and collapse the structural integrity around the warp coils. That should be fun.”     Seven gasped, and ran towards engineering, but she got there, he wasn’t. She looked around to see if he done anything, but could find no sign that he’d been here at all.     “Where are you, you son of a bitch?” she muttered.     The ship’s comm unit chirped.     “I couldn’t bring myself to destroy your nice little ship,” Trajis’s voice said. Suddenly, the lights went down. “I hope you aren’t afraid of the dark.”     “Where are you?” Seven said, sneering as she spoke.

“Good, finally some conversation. That’s going to make this much more fun. For me anyway. I’m on your bridge by the way. I can do just about anything I want from up here.”     “Very well,” Seven said as she began working on one of the engineering consoles. “I will play your game. What’s next?”     “Excellent. Okay. Hypothetical time. Say I activated one of your photon torpedoes

but didn’t eject it.”     “I would have to get to the torpedo launch tube quickly to disable it.”     “And even then you might be too late.”     “How about this game? Let’s pretend that I’m draining oxygen from the bridge. What do you suppose the results of that might be?”     “What? How, uh, I can’t…” Trajis began gasping. Within seconds he was silent.     “Game over you bastard,” Seven said, indulging in a trait she’d witnessed among many humans; that of uttering some sort of sarcastic comment or pun over a defeated enemy. “Computer, seal the bridge with a level three force field,” she added as an extra precaution.     “Seven of Nine to the Doctor,” she said.     “Doctor here.”     “I have subdued the alien.”     “Excellent work. I have my mobile emitter back on-line. Where are you?”     “Engineering.”     “I’ll be right there. I have interesting news about the neural gel-packs.”     “Acknowledged,” Seven said, getting up from the seat at the console and heading for the door. It opened sooner than she expected given the distance between sickbay and engineering. She was prepared to ask the Doctor about the gel-packs, only to see Trajis standing in the doorway.

    “You knew you’d see me again,” he said. Seven immediately raised her phaser rifle and fired, but the energy just passed through him like he wasn’t there. “You can’t beat me little girl. You’re too weak.”     “Stay where you are,” Seven said as forcefully as she could manage.     “You really thought you could become human didn’t you?”     “Stop!”     “You even took a lover. Because that’s what humans do right? They find a boy, or a girl, or someone who hasn’t figured it out yet, and start a relationship with them?”     “Stay away,” Seven said, her hands actually shaking now as Trajis got closer.     “But you can’t be in love. That’s not who you are. You’re Borg.”     Seven suddenly saw out the corner of her eye the familiar blue of Voyager’s warp drive turn green, like the lights inside a Borg cube.     “One of many. You were powerful as part of the Collective but now you are alone. Weak. Pathetic. You’re a novelty to Samantha. A curiosity to Naomi. An object of lust for Harry. An annoyance to the Doctor. A pet for the Captain. You aren’t truly a part of this crew, and you never will be.”     “Don’t come any closer or I’ll kill you,” Seven yelled.     “Seven?” she heard the Doctor say, but she wouldn’t turn to look in his direction, keeping her eyes on Trajis.     “Don’t come any closer Doctor, he’s dangerous,” she said through gritted teeth.

“Seven, who are you talking to?”     Seven was so perplexed by that statement she actually did turn to look at the Doctor for a brief moment. When she turned back Trajis was gone, and the warp core was blue again.     “Where did he go?” she said. “He was right here.”     “Seven, there’s no one here, I promise you. You were alone when I entered, pointing that rifle at thin air.”     Seven looked around, and realized he was right. She shook her head.     “He wasn’t real. Just like the crew crying for help wasn’t real,” she said, not wanting to open her eyes, just wanting to crawl into a stasis pod of her own for the next six days so it could just be over. “I’m going crazy from the isolation, just as the Captain feared.”

“Not exactly. When I studied the gel-pack, I discovered the radiation was producing a degradation in the packs' synaptic relays. I believe that the radiation is doing the same to your Borg implants, altering the neurotransmitter level in your sensory nodes.     “Can you modify the implants to stop the hallucinations?” Seven said.     “I can.”     “Then do so. Quickly, please.” Seven took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down. She could still feel her heart racing, though in the pleasant way it did whenever Samantha touched her. “Once, when I was still a drone, I was cut off from the Collective for several hours as the result of an accident. I remember feeling fear then. I am experiencing the same fear and panic now.”     “I’ll do everything I can to help you. Let’s go back to sickbay. perhaps an anti-psychotic will help, at least I can figure out which neural pathways are being affected.”     “Thank you, Doctor.” Seven said. “I will meet you in sickbay. There’s just something I need to get first.”     “Of course,” the Doctor said. With that, Seven headed towards Samantha Wildman’s quarters. She went inside, and was tempted to just crawl into the main bed and wait out the next six days, but she knew she couldn’t. But she knew that, as illogical as it was, she needed something from the room to carry with her for the remainder of the voyage, something to help keep her grounded in reality. She saw one of Naomi’s stuffed animals on the back of the couch; a pink hippopotamus that the Captain had given Naomi on her last birthday.     Seven went over and picked it up. Something of Sam’s might’ve been a better choice, but Seven found the doll’s softness comforting. She turned around, hippo in hand, and left the room, heading for sickbay.

---

    Samantha’s eyes fluttered as her stasis pod opened. Her muscles felt a little weak, but otherwise she felt quite rested, just as the Captain and the Doctor had promised. She started to get out of the pod, but found that her arms just weren’t cooperating with her just yet. She felt a strong grip on her shoulder, and she looked up to see a tired looking but smiling Seven of Nine.

    “Hey you,” Seven said softly. “Welcome back to the land of the living.”     “Hey, Annie. I take it this means we made it.”     Seven sighed. “Had I not just experienced the worst week of my life, this would be where I made a sarcastic comment.”     Samantha frowned.     “Annie, what’s wrong?”     “I’ll tell you later. Right now, I am just so glad to have you back. The senior staff is already up, the Doctor is helping them wake up the rest, but I wanted to wake you up myself. I figured we could bring Naomi out of stasis together. Then all three of us could spend some time in that Santa Fe simulation you were talking about for awhile, Like, maybe forever.”

    Samantha moved her feet around a little, putting them on the floor slowly, a bit concerned about putting any weight on them even though Seven was still holding on to her. She knew Seven wouldn’t let her fall over, but it wasn’t her dignity she was concerned with at that moment.

    “Sounds like you have quite a story to tell me,” she said.     “Once the anti-psychotics the Doctor had to give me finally wear off, I’ll be able to tell you,” Seven said. Samantha titled her head.     “I’m sorry, could you repeat that last part?” she said.

“It has been a very bad week,” Seven said. Samantha smiled sadly, and kissed Seven on the lips.     “Well, it’s over now.”     “Awww,” she heard a voice from a few rows of stasis pods over.     Seven rolled her eyes.

“Shut up, Brooks,” Samantha said.     “According to Ensign Kim we had to bunk with Ensign Brooks during the alternate timeline when the ship was damaged. Apparently we could barely tolerate her then either.”     “Hey, I can’t help it that you two are adorable,” the red-shirted Ensign said as she climbed out of her own pod.

“As Mr. Paris would say, bite me.” Seven said. Samantha chortled.     “My, you’re a little punchy tonight,” she said.     “As I’ve said twice already Samantha, I-”     “Had a bad week, yeah. Well, as soon as we can get some alone time I think I know just the trick to help relieve the tension.”     “I look forward to it,” Seven said. “Just do me a favor and don’t use the word ‘game’ for a while. I’ll explain later.”