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girlofmanyfandoms · 5 years ago

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Forbidden Spicy Gatorade Chronicles Chapter One

A/n: Ok, so the cult is getting stronger by the minute so if you haven’t been introduced yet, don’t be offended! I’ll try to go through everyone and introduce you in the next chapter. Erica (@the-never-ending-void) has asked not to be included in this fic.

Key:

Tater - @a-lonely-tatertot

Lynn - @lesbilynnette

Gray - @silver-snow

Lilah - @tribblemakingalicorn

Cadence - me

Ivy - @imaramennoodle

Molly - @molly-sencen

Farris - @everyonehasthoughts

Speens - @an-absolute-travesty

Holes - @holesinmyfalseconfidence

Connor - @linhammon-roll-bromance101

Panda - @worldwidepandamonium

Meg - @ultralazycreatorfan

Word count: 2,382

Warnings: If you’re reading this, you already know what’s about to pop off

Lilah poked Cadence’s shoulder who promptly rolled over. Lilah poked her several more times, a bit more aggressively. Grumbling Cadence sat up quickly and smacked her head on the top of the bunk bed. She sighed, rubbing her forehead. Her eyes slowly adjusted to her surroundings, taking in the strangely black, purple, and gold aesthetic room.

“Why’d you wake me up?”

“You got a notification,” Lilah said, eyes wide open, handing her the phone, slowly walking out of their shared room.

Cadence furrowed her brows, unlocking the phone before calling out to her roommate. “Wait, how long have you been up?”

“OREOS!” she called back. “Where are the keys?”

“On the kitchen counter,” Cadence replied, checking her emails. 1 unread message from Gray, the AI developer who she made small talk with during lunch breaks.

Dear Cadence,

Good evening! There’s a new play coming out on Mainstreet, called The Facade, and I was approached by the team to create a promotional piece. I was hoping you could help, and we would split the rewards 50/50. The play is about a murder crime, which is plotted out in a series of intricate riddles. The plot twist: the lead detective was the murderer, and had been delaying her trial while she was pretending to gather evidence, and stealing from a suspect to gain enough money to flee. And her second in command was funding the plots without knowing that her boss was the mastermind behind it all.

Ok, now that my boss has read above the cut we can talk freely. The offer is real, and I WOULD like to split it 50/50, I just can’t stand talking all formal, y’know? Anyway, since you said you do animations and stuff as a side gig, I thought maybe you could make the animations, and I’ll edit and do the social networking? Idk, I’m just spitballing here, let me know what you think.

Also, Lilah directed me towards this email, she’s really good at tracking people down.

Sorry if I made any spelling mistakes, I haven’t slept in weeks,

Gray

“Huh,” Cadence huffed, glancing at the clock. 3 AM. She had time. So, grabbing her IPad, she opened Procreate and got to work. The Facade. Sounds interesting enough. But what to draw? A lock perhaps? A silhouette of the main character? Before she could decide, her phone buzzed again, a voice recording this time, from Lilah.

“Hey, so I just ran into two of the actresses from The Facade and they said they want to talk to you about it so you can create a better promotional vid, meet me at the local library, k bye.”

Cadence wished on a shooting star that at least an hour had passed by so the buses would be running. But how wrong she was. It was 3 AM. It was raining. And the library was at least a mile away.

“This should be fun,” she mumbled, grabbing her set of keys, her IPad, and a raincoat before jogging the mile it took to get to the library.

_______

By the time Cadence arrived her hair was drenched and she was so out of breath and tired she thought she was going to pass out. She looked for any sign of her roommate, but she was nowhere to be found. Instead, she saw three people sitting at a table chatting freely and crying laughing. The librarian wasn’t fazed in the slightest. On the contrary, they seemed to be enjoying it, leaning over the library’s registry system, talking with them. Quickly Googling “The Facade,” Cadence confirmed that the two ladies were the actresses from the play. The other one offered occasional comments, mostly just watching the occurrences that went on. Social anxiety kicked in and told her to run in the other direction, but she really needed the money. She forced herself to approach them.

“Hey, I’m Cadence,” I introduce myself nervously. “Lilah said you wanted to speak to me about promoting your play?”

“Cadence! Lilah mentioned your animations, and we thought it’d be a new, eye-catching way to get our work out there,” the first one chirped. “I’m Molly, by the way. I play the detective’s second in command.”

“And I’m Ivy,” the other one greeted. “I play the lead.”

Cadence expected the third person to introduce themself next, but the librarian took the initiative. “Hello, fellow human, you may address me as SPEENS, I accept liver sacrifices.”

“They do that all the time,” the third person assured her. “Tater, by the way. I’m not in the play, I’m just working on a novel with Molly. We met up here to talk to good ‘ol Speens when these bit-”

“Language,” Molly warned.

“When these lovely individuals,” Tater corrected, “decided to make this a research sesh for the book. As if we needed more work. I’m free to fly wherever the wind takes me.”

“Amen to that, sibling,” Speens responded solemnly, pulling five wine glasses and vodka out from under the desk like a bartender. Cadence looked confused, but not against it. “Say, where’s the rest of the crew? Lynn, Gray, Farris, and the lot of them?”

“Farris doesn’t work on the set,” Ivy reminded her. “They’re an archaeologist. Holes makes the sets for us.”

Speens wrinkled their nose, seemingly in disgust. “And the others?”

“Well, if you can take a break, we can meet up with them at the theatre. Even Farris, since I heard their last trip was a bust,” Molly offered.

Without a second thought, Speens put up a sign that read “The Librarian is Out.”

“Do they-”

“All the time,” Ivy nodded. “It’s kinda their thing.”

“But, yeah, Farris and Connor tend to hang around the set,” Molly explained. “They don’t bother anyone, no one bothers them. They’re a bit older, kinda like the authority figures of the group.”

“If authority figures would let you make a dumba-”

“Tater,” Ivy nudged.

Tater changed their wording. “-unwise move in order to see what would happen.”

“They’re responsible for us without being responsible for us, if that makes sense,” Ivy commented. “Let’s get going though, before someone blows something up.” She shot a sideways glance at Speens, who put a hand up in surrender.

________

Ivy swung open the doors to the theatre and immediately had to duck for cover. “What the HELL, Connor?”

They were holding onto some theatre seats, zooming back and forth the row on rollerblades, occasionally losing balance and having to sit down. After a particularly messy turn-around, they decided to crawl over to the red carpeted steps and laid there for a moment. Farris was perched in a seat a row down, calming watching as Connor seemed to be having an existential crisis. Upon seeing Tater and Cadence, Farris got up, carefully stepping around Connor. “New kids?”

“Farris, this is Tater, and that’s Cadence,” Ivy helped. “They’re helping us promote the play.”

“Congratulations, you’re adopted,” they vowed, though Tater looked confused. “What? I don’t make the rules. Oh, wait, I’m supposed to be the responsible one…. Ok, so I make the rules, but they can be bent if the alternative’s interesting enough. Right, Connor?”

“Uh huh,” he called from the floor tiredly. If he hadn’t spoken, he would have been deemed dead.

“Lynn and the rest of the gang are in the back,” Farris informed them, pulling a skateboard from under their seat and helping Connor stand. Connor’s rollerblades flailed a bit as he struggled to get up, but his arm was slung around Farris’s shoulder, supporting him.

“DO A KICKFLIP,” Connor prompted, his words slurred.

“Are you kidding, I haven’t skateboarded since I was six, I need an actual skate park to practice that,” Farris recounted. “And how drunk are you?”

“Yes,” he responded, giggling in a hiccupy way. “Does anyone have more vodka?”

“I got you fam,” Speens said, pulling out a suitcase of alcohol from thin air.

“Anyways,” Ivy interjected, trying to get the conversation back on track. “I’ll go get the others, wait here.”

Ivy returned with Gray, Lynn, Holes, Panda, and Meg, and introduced them accordingly. “Gray works on the special effects, Lynn designed everyone’s costumes, Holes makes the set, Panda is a theatre critic, and Meg is our concept artist.”

“So, other than animation, is there anything else you bring to the table?” Molly asked.

“Well, I do glass art,” Cadence supplied. “It’s probably not relevant, but when it’s still really hot and glowy, which is when you can shape it, it looks like it would make a good snack. Hell, it almost looks like Gatorade. I can show a picture if you’d like.”

Cadence took her phone out and everyone crowded around to see.

“More like Powerade, Gatorade doesn’t come in that kind of blue,” Speens added.

“F O R B I D D E N S P I C Y G A T O R A D E,” Connor yelled, startling Farris.

“NO,” Holes countered, clearly distressed. “Do NOT drink molten glass. You’d die!”

“You call it death, I call it adventure,” Molly smirked. “I’m here for it. C’mon Holes, live a little.”

“Sis, how have you made it to adulthood thinking like that?” Lynn questioned, looking a bit scared.

“And I know how to live, I’m living right now!” Holes countered.

“Sure you are, nerd.” Molly rolled her eyes. “And how many near death experiences have you had, huh?”

“Near death- okay, first of all, I am not a nerd-”

“You kinda are,” Tater mumbled. Holes gasped, putting a hand over her heart as if they were betrayed. “What? You are. You make a living off of reading books.”

“Used to, friend,” Holes clarified. “I’m a freelance artist now. I picked up this gig because of these fools. And good thing too, because now you’re about to poison yourselves! Second of all, um, none?! How many have you had?”

Molly clicked her tongue in disappointment. “Five. Blended corn, acorns, eating soap, eating paper, and an intense game of dodgeball. I haven’t even peaked with these experiences yet.”

“Immortal until proven mortal,” Connor finished for her.

Meg stood next to Molly and held her shoulders. “This girl, she’s going places.”

“Meg, not you, too, I swear to god-”

“sLuRp,” Ivy joined in, grinning from ear to ear.

Holes was getting hysterical. “What the actual hell is going on? Lynn, help me out here.”

“The Gatorade is Forbidden for a reason, kids,” Lynn tried to reason.

Gray stood up with a mischievous glint in their eyes. “Where can we get it?”

“From the crunchy forbidden chocolate powder, of course,” Connor chimed in. Panda gave him a high-five while Holes became paler and paler from the cult forming in front of their eyes.

“This one speaks the truth,” Panda shrugged.

“Ok, what even is crunchy forbidden chocolate powder?”

“Sand, duh,” Connor said matter of factly. “Add some vodka, a martini, and some olives, and you got one heck of a slushie.”

“So that means there must be Forbidden Chewy Lettuce and Flavoured Forbidden Chewy Lettuce,” Tater went on. “Grass and flower petals. Cursed, but not wrong.”

“Ooh, and crackle air can be limestones and sodium carbonate, pies are dirt, bread is wood, and hard candy is metal,” Panda proclaimed.

“Fidget spinners are Forbidden Bagels, too,” Connor helped. “I should know, I tried the other day and cut my lip.”

Farris ignored the last part of Connor’s rant. “The variety pack, I like the sound of that.”

“Farris you’re supposed to look after us and you’re condoning this?!” Holes shouted.

Farris mounted his skateboard. “I’m not condoning anything. I’m enabling and hyping them up without joining in. That’s some big brain stuff.”

“This is why they control the brain cell,” Ivy nodded. “WAIT, ARE MY CHICKEN NUGGETS BURNING?!”

“Ives, you literally set a timer on the microwave backstage, you’re fine,” Tater reassured Ivy, holding her from running to check on her meal.

“Oh, like you know anything about microwaves,” Ivy argued. “You microwave ice cream.”

“It takes too long to soften, and I’m impatient,” Tater defended, turning to address Holes. “And it is eaten with a spoon.”

“Do not start this debate again- you know what, Panda, get ice cream from the mini-fridge, we’re settling this here and now,” Holes demanded.

“I think the real question is why is ice cream so hard,” Speens mentioned as Panda brought a tub of Haagen Daz ice cream. Holes used a fork to attempt to chisel out part of the snack. It wasn’t very successful.

“I think that’s just how Haagen Daz works,” Cadence observed.

Holes saw this as an opportunity to gain some momentum in the argument. “Not just this brand! All ice cream works like that!!!”

“No,” Panda objected. “Not Breyer’s. That stuff is always just right when you need it. Hashtag not sponsored.”

“Did you just break the fourth wall?” Lynn asked. “You know what, I don’t wanna know, just for the love of all that is good in this world please don’t drink the Forbidden Spicy Gatorade.”

“Too late,” Cadence said. “It’s easily accessible. Also, I’m calling E so we can recruit her.”

“Holes, I know you’re hiding it from us,” Molly speculated.

“What are you talking-”

“You’re keeping the Forbidden Spicy Gatorade all to yourself because you know of its power and you want it all to yourself.”

“I don’t HAVE the Gatorade, and I’m explicitly telling you it’s going to kill you if you drink it!”

As the bickering went on, Lynn slipped off to the vacant staff lounge to pull out her phone. There had to be a supplier somewhere who would give them this. She searched for a few minutes, and, after a few dead ends, she finally found an investor. “Cha-ching. Forbidden Incorporated is in business,” Lynn smiled to herself.

“Forbidden Incorporated, eh?” Farris asked from the doorway. Lynn froze and cursed herself for forgetting to lock the door. Now Farris knew of her plans. “Tell you what, I’ll keep your secret under one condition: We split the money 50/50, and get equal control over the decisions. So, deal?”

Lynn hesitated. She wasn’t sure she could trust Farris, but seeing as this was the only way to stop Holes from knowing just yet, she had no other choice. “Deal.”

_______

A/n: So that was fun and took entirely too long to write. I hope you enjoyed it and if you’re in the cult and I didn’t include you, reblog this and I’ll make a list. The next chapter might focus on a smaller group bc there are like thirteen characters here and I’m tired. Peace out!

#forbidden spicy gatorade

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago

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Survey #408

“tied to the rat race / a big bird in a small cage”

Who, whether a person or company, emails you the most? I really don't check my email enough to even know. If you were given an assignment to draw anything besides stick figures or just doodles, what would you draw? A meerkat of course, ha ha. Do you play the games on MySpace/Facebook? I never did. Well no, I did play "Dragons of Atlantis" when Facebook bought it or whatever, but now that it's a mobile game, I don't play anything on there. When was the last time you were sunburnt? Ha, actually now. It's from riding an hour to and an hour back from the TMS office every weekday; the sun coming in through the window got my arm. Who all do you live with? My mom and my two pets. Has a guy ever let you wear his jacket? Yeah. It was so comforting when Jason gave me his leather jacket to wear if I was cold; it was pretty big on me at that time and just really cozy. Thanks survey, now I feel like crying. :^) How many friends do you have of the opposite sex? Like, one. Do you have bird feeders hanging up outside? What about any hanging plants? No. Does your house have sliding glass doors? No. Was the last food item you ate part of a meal or a snack? A snack. What color is your hair brush? I don't use a brush, but a white comb. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy? I think I prefer sunny for the sake of helping keep my depression at bay, but sometimes I really do enjoy some nice steady rainfall at the window. Who’s the last person that you hugged, not family? I have no idea. What will your next piercing be? Probably getting my nostril re-pierced. How many people have you kissed, that you can HONESTLY say you loved? Two. Can you recall the last time you liked someone a lot? uhhhhhhhhhh now What’s scarier: spiders or worms? Worms gross me out, but a spider is more likely to actually scare me, but at the same time fascinate me. Do you play poker for real money? No. If you were pregnant, how long would you wait to tell the dad? I'd tell him immediately. Would you ever date out of your own race? I have in the past, and I would again. Do you still watch movies intended for children? Yeah. Hell, more than half the time they're better than "grown up" movies. What’s your favorite movie trilogy? Uhhhh does TLK count? ha ha What would you like to take lessons in? German. Whose Facebook password do you have? Just my own. Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school? No. Have you ever crawled through a window? Yes. Are you too forgiving? Yuuuup. Ever have a sleepover with the opposite sex? Well, we were dating. Have you ever gotten someone suspended? No. Have you ever wanted to be a teacher? No. Would you live with someone without marrying them? Yes; I believe you really probably should before getting married so you see if you "fit" as far as household habits and such go. Have you ever wanted to strip naked in front of someone? Yeah no. I'd feel way too awkward. What are you listening to? A John Wolfe video. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? My mom. Did anyone watch you the last time you kissed someone? I mean possibly, it was a public place, and some people are definitely caught off-guard by seeing two girls kiss. Do either of your parents have any tattoos or piercings? No. Mom wants a tattoo, though, dedicated to all of us kids and her grandkids. Are you desperate for anyone’s approval, in particular? -_- Would you ever stalk a celebrity? Um, no???? You don't stalk ANYBODY. It's a violation of space, privacy, basic respect... Do you have any National Geographic magazines lying around? No. Have you ever been mistaken for the opposite gender? No. Do you use liquid foundation, mousse, or just powder? None. Have you ever picked out a song to listen to on a juke box? Maybe? I don't remember. Have you ever eaten 3 meals from 3 different fast food places in one day? Oh god, I hope not. I don't remember ever having done that. Have you ever ridden in a limo? No. I always wanted to as a kid. Have you ever tried to put a huge puzzle together? Yeah, I have. I used to like to do that with my mom especially. Ever wake up early on Saturdays to go garage sale shopping? Yes, actually. My family used to love to do that. Do you keep magazines by your toilet? No. Ya better just bring your phone. What did you last take a picture of with your camera? On my actual camera, a hydrangea bush. On the camera on my phone, I believe my cat. Are you proud of who you are? Not... really. If you were a waiter/waitress, would you make good tips? Nope. I'm too awkward and I would NEVER write the orders down quickly enough. I write so slow. What are the best kind of Girl Scout cookies? The chocolate and peanut butter ones. If you hit an animal while driving, would you stop to see if it was okay? Well I doubt it's okay, but I would absolutely stop to move it away from the road and sob my eyes out. I'd probably try to find some flowers to rest on it. What's your favorite kind of pasta? Spaghetti. Have you ever played computer solitaire for hours on end? I don't even know how to play solitaire. What's the dumbest thing you've heard of that supposedly causes cancer? Who the hell knows, everything does apparently. If you saw wet cement, would you place your handprint in it? No. Can you honestly tell the difference between DiGiorno and delivery pizza? Absolutely. Do you own a lava lamp? No, but I would looove one. What charity or cause would you donate $1,000 to if possible? Off the top of my head, the Trevor Project. I'd probably research before actually donating, though. What would you say is your greatest strength? I guess that I care a lot about people. What's one food that you find too disgusting to eat? Things like clams, es cargot, sashimi... just ew. What's something that will never bore you? Uhhhh good question. Pizza Hut or Domino's? Domino's, by a long shot. What's something that always, no matter what, makes you laugh? Stupid Vines, lol. Have you ever been in a canoe? No. How many vehicles does your family own? Just one, my mom's. Are you generally afraid of taking risks? Yes. Have you ever caught/swatted a fly in/with your hand? Ew, no. Would you ever dye your hair bubblegum pink? Yeah. What was the last thing to happen that you really weren't expecting? The woman whose wedding I shot TWO YEARS ago finally reaching out to me about buying some pictures. What does it mean when you start eating less? What does it mean when you start eating more? If I'm eating less, odds are I'm extremely serious about losing weight. If I'm eating more than usual, high odds are I'm depressed or bored. Or I'm on my period. What’s the strangest named pet you’ve ever had? Harry Potter, ha ha. He was a guinea pig. What are some defense mechanisms you find yourself using when in an argument with someone? I'm very likely to just metaphorically flee from it because I fear confrontation so much. Do you know if there is anyone who was once important to you that you will never talk to again, even though you could? If I have any say in it, I'm never talking to Colleen again. List the initials of every person you have ever kissed, from first kiss to most recent kiss. (Put “?”s in the place of initials you don’t know.) I'm not listing their last initial, but anyway: J, T, G, S. Does your face break out right before your period? Not "break out," no. I'll just get a pimple or two. What did you dream about last night? All I remember was that it focused on Jason and his late mother. I miss her so much. I hope so much that whatever exists beyond death, she found the peace she was so worthy of. Do you think the United States health care system needs reform? FUCK yes I do. Our health care system is a disgusting fucking nightmare. Who was the last person you cried over? Jason. My PTSD has been doing quite well, but I had an emotional episode recently nonetheless. Do you prefer ceiling fans or fans that stand up on the floor and you plug in? I use both, but I think my preference is ceiling ones. What would you do if your son was at home, crying all alone on the bedroom floor because he’s hungry, and the only way to feed him was to sleep with a man for a little bit of money? Hypothetically, if I had a child, if I'm totally honest, I probably would. I would hate it, but I'm not letting my child starve to death if I can do something about it. Why do you think evolution is true/false? Because there is substantial evidence for it and imo is the most logical theory we've thought up. Some things about it seem kinda far-fetched, but I still have faith in it. I trust scientists and the evolution we see firsthand, such as caterpillars to cocoons, tadpoles to frogs, etc. Who came through for you at a time when you really, really needed it? Colleen. She let me live with her when I was technically homeless. What turned out better than you thought? Good question. What object did you used to, or do you still, keep hidden? My drawings. I've flipped my shit when Mom's found them in the past, even though she went on and on about how "amazing" they were. I don't draw anything "bad" at all, but still, I don't like people seeing my creativity. Who can’t you figure out? My damn self. What are you hoping for? The most recent thing would be hoping Shonda buys a lot, if not all, the wedding photos I took. I desperately want to use the money along with what I have left from Christmas to buy Venus' terrarium and proper supplies all by myself. What’s the best physical object that you kept from a previous relationship? Idk, there's a few things. What is the most socially unacceptable thing that you have no problem with? Maybe women not shaving. Like I couldn't care less. What have you done that you surprised yourself by doing? *shrug* What used to be a secret about you? Hm. Anything that used to be a secret probably still is one. What is the most stalky thing you’ve ever done? Just Facebook digging, and that's not something I've done a lot off. What did you wind up liking that you didn’t want anything to do with at first? The only thing that comes to mind at the moment is something sexual, so let's not go into that. Who do you owe your life that you can never pay back? Mom and Jason have both saved me from what would've been suicide attempts.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''monkey tree'' by mother mother

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raleigh-ocean · 5 years ago

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troubles of a learning heart, part 1 | billie dean howard x dara ann lynch

words: 12,580

summary: Love was quite the difficult thing at times, Billie thought many times, and she admired Dara for spending the last seven years how it felt to be truly loved, however when she started to try and give back that love to her...well, let’s say she didn’t expect that there would be moments in which she would have to step forward and actively show it. But, as she lies in bed with Dara still by her side, she thinks that she will make it as long as her heart pick up quick in the habits, in the ways of showing her dear love that she’s being reciprocated. First part of two.

warning: anxiety attack? Idk I kinda wanna give y’all some warning that there’s a heavy part near the end.

n/a: I want to thank @grilledcheeseandguavajelly for encouraging me to post it, because I’ve been feeling like a no-no since I finished this yesterday. This is full of tiny headcanons and bits from other of my stories and some others I want to write, so I hope you enjoy it. This first part is like a prequel to put a context to the next chapter of ‘over my skin, part 3’ and the second part would be the resolution of this big thing, because it goes deeper. I’m trying to make Billie finally build her love, all those raw feelings she has for Dara and put her into a few situations I think it will help her.

"Here you go papi, take it easy, don't want your mother to scream at both because you spilled your ice-cream all over your new shirt so soon."

Billie looked at Dara in that moment with a mix of fondness and amusement, trying at the same time to find a way to help the other seven year old boy, who was smiling at his brother with all the happiness a kid could gather up when given what they wanted.

Her attention drifted a bit when a loud chuckle interrupted the moment, the teenage girl that was fighting her chocolate ice-cream from melting all over her hand snapping her out of the calm picture and getting a scowl back from the last boy.

"Auntie always has shirts to spare around because they get messy," the scowling boy - Ezra, Billie recalled his name this time - was barely two months older than the twin boys, but since she met him, Billie found out that he was an intelligent and straight-to-the point kid.

"I figure, y'all lot have the same curse with food and clothes," Dara smiled at him with the sweetest dimpled smile, which was returned with a similar one from Ezra. "I remember when your sister was around your age that your abuelita always had sweatpants ready in case of an accident."

That made the teenager blush fiercely and the kids to giggle, Billie trying to hide her own smile eating some of her own ice-cream.

Today was being a good day so far even when she had her doubts about it when it started, taking in count she was not used to babysit. But she thought it was good in someway, an exception to make her remember that even when she was in some kind of vacation from work, it felt good to be able to do something instead of just sitting around in a house that was still pretty much unknown for her.

"What? Did I lie mami?" Dara, in a smooth move, saved some vanilla ice-cream from falling into the table and then ate a spoonful of her own - Billie always found funny how most of the time Dara picked fruit flavors.

"Please aunt Dara, stop calling me that," Eva - Billie remembered that one easily - gave Billie a quick glance before trying to hide somehow her embarrassment.

"Yeah, give her a rest babe," Billie was fast to pick up that and with the pet name, she had Dara smiling at her and throwing her hands in the air, all of that before lowering her voice a bit. "I think her friends overheard you enough back at the mall."

"Fine, fine, I'm only stopping because you gonna get enough of it once we are back at the house," Dara took a look over her niece and nephews before standing up. "I'm getting some more napkins before any mess happens."

It was weird for Billie to see that 'doting aunt' side of Dara, but she couldn't help but think how much it suited her. Hearing her talk with soft and cheerful voice here and there, only made Billie believe that her partner was a natural when it came to take care of the rest.

She looked at her for a second, seeing how much Dara was limping but not complaining about it, and it filled Billie with some sick respect for her...and worry.

However her attention drifted once again when Ezra asked her if he could try some of her ice-cream in a shy tone, mostly because his sister didn’t seem to let him indulge in that. Not having Dara by her side made Billie nervous for some reason, probably because she wasn’t used to be in her own in this situation. And also because she didn’t know much about Dara’s hometown, so it was a strange situation for sure.

“Kids!” the sudden masculine voice startled Billie, making her heart to start beating faster. “Where’s your mom, hmm?”

“¡Tío!” it was then when Billie entered the panic zone because two of the four kids were moving faster than she could, going to hug a man that she never saw before. “We’re eating ice-cream!”

This tall man, with leather vest, an old t-shirt of some kind of festival and baggy jeans. His hair was slicked back except for a few loose strands that fell over his forehead. He had tattoos covering his arms and some showing through the neck of his shirt.

“That can I see and taste,” the man laughed because he had pick up the twins, they were kissing him in his cheeks and giving him to try their desserts, and then his eyes went to Billie first before looking at the teenager girl. “Where’s Diana or your mother, Eva? I thought Carla didn’t let you go alone outside.”

“We aren’t alone,” Ezra interceded, scowling once again, but not looking at the man. “We are with aunt Billie…”

If Billie was nervous and about to panic, hearing the kid addressing her like that calmed her in a weird way. She wasn't a stranger to be called aunt, her own sister had a couple of kids, but she visited them so little that it was just as weird. She smiled at him, but the man didn’t even seem to acknowledge Ezra nor her because he kept looking at Eva with an inquisitive look. Eva didn’t seem to want to talk and Billie wasn’t sure if she was afraid or just the stubborn teenager part, but she did it the same with a strange glint of pride that Billie already saw somewhere that she couldn’t pinpoint at the moment.

“Working. Aunt Dara came a few days ago, she’s watching over us,” it was time for the man to go pale suddenly.

“Edo, Ev, you’re gonna make a mess all over your uncle, get down papis, c'mon.”

Obedient as ever, the twins wiggled their way to the ground and Billie got her stomach in a tight knot only by feeling how the still cheerful situation dropped to one more serious. Dara was leaning in her cane with both hands, looking at the man that was now facing her, a nervous smile over his lips.

"Ana, how you doin'?" There wasn't a visible height difference, but Billie got the feeling that the man shortened when he leant to kiss Dara's cheek in a friendly way - and receiving a soft one back in response. "Didn't know you were back."

"For a few days, yeah, we're on vacation and decided to spend it with my family," the sentiment in Billie's guts got tighter when Dara was adamant in making a point with the way she said the 'we', tapping her cane in the ground twice. "And I've never been better Godo. I'm spending the morning with my niece and nephews, what else could I ask for?"

"That's amazing th-"

"Tío Godo asked where's mama, tía," Eduardo, the twin with the bright green shirt, was quick to speak over the adult while hugging Dara's good leg.

Billie saw the way Godo sunk a bit more with that, how Dara's brown eyes hardened and how Eva looked away almost immediately.

"Is that so, hmm?" Dara hummed, fixing Eduardo's messy black hair with quick fingers, the gold of her rings shining a bit while her attention went from the kid to the man.

"Just checking in Ana, y'know I worry about the kids and they were alone," Godo chuckled nervously and Billie immediately felt a soft static in her skin. "I bet you understand."

"Uncle here asked for mom too," Eva chirped, only making Dara to tighten her jaw a second before flashing one of her smiles.

"But they weren't alone, my partner here was with them," Billie absolutely didn't want to get any attention, unlike the rest of the time in her life. "As I am, so now you can go your way with your worries eased. I'm sure you can give my sisters a call if you wanted to speak with them, right?" Godo nodded and the static went away, Dara smiling at him again as if she was even glad to have met him there. "Great, then it was nice to see you, Big G."

When he was gone, Billie smiled almost shyly at Dara and was met with the purest form of happiness in the way the woman smiled her back. It was as if the encounter didn't happen and Billie knew right off the bat that there was a long story behind all of the animosity that the kids missed by a head - except maybe for Eva, which started to act a bit softer towards her little brother.

After that they resumed the ice-cream time a few minutes later and decided to make a quick stop to get burgers for take out. Billie knew Dara always liked to actually eat in the place, but by the way her leg was acting up, it was for the best to take everything back to the house instead of staying for lunch.

"Annie, everything alright?" asked Billie while the kids were already running towards Dara's parents and Eva was carrying the bags with the food.

"Yeah honey, just a bit tired but nothing a nap can't fix," Dara leant for a kiss, one longer than the tiny pecks they shared over the morning. "I'm hungry actually, and you?"

"I'm hungry too," Billie chuckled, wrapping her arms better around Dara's waist and drawing a giggle from her. A new slow kiss making them forget their chances of making out like teenagers against Dara's mother's car were getting high. "But nothing we can’t fix before your nap," that made Dara laugh and Billie smiled big at her. "If we can, of course, I mean...did you see your nephews? We should be running before they eat our food too."

"Their stomachs are like black holes, incredible, isn't it?" Dara pressed her lips against Billie's in a lazy and tired kiss, before lacing their arms together so they could walk inside with the rest. "I think is a genetic thing."

And after only one day around Dara's family, Billie knew that it was true. She never saw so much food disappear so fast in a long while, and she was living with Dara for almost four years now and with her for almost three more.

…

“Who was the guy?”

Billie managed to pull away from the charm that was Dara spreading body cream in her legs to finally ask the question. They’d claimed the main bathroom for themselves after everyone had their turn and they were taking every extra second of that privacy.

Against the odds, Dara passed out the second she touched the inflatable mattress and Billie took that time to indulge in answering some emails at first, but after the few first ones it became impossible to do something else with Dara cuddling her right side with such sweet face. Would it be hard to take a quick nap? When they woke up, Billie thought she had been hit with a rock, her eyes too heavy, but tiny kisses helped her to get rid of the sleep.

If they tried to get some well deserved private moment, it was broken the second Darziel - Dara’s little brother - came through the door complaining about how their mother was doing some kind of zafarrancho to get ready for tonight’s dinner. Dara had hit him with her cane, repeatedly, until she managed to get him out of the room and then Ezra came in running from the twins, trying to get a place to hide. Billie knew it was a matter of time they got interrupted again and she was right the moment Deirdre - Dara’s biggest sister and Eva and Ezra’s mom - came into the room, hiding as well from her own mother…

...and in a matter of time, the room was crowded.

“Who?” asked Dara, fixing a bit her loose robe, but not stopping from going through the little routine. Billie was used to see it and appreciate it by now and seeing her so bare, raw, natural, helped greatly each time to remind her how much she loved her girl.

“Badass Godo-guy,” explained Billie, getting as comfortable as she humanly could, sitting in an old stool and her back to the tile wall. “He was pretty adamant in ignoring not only me but your nephew. Ezra told him I was with them but turned a deaf ear on it.”

For a second Billie forgot what was she saying because Dara turned around, the robe loose again and letting her see...well, some pretty nice things; and walked towards her - barely two steps because the bathroom wasn’t really big - to sit in her lap. Billie feared for a second the stool was going to collapse under their weight, but it was resilient enough. Hands on hips, hands on shoulders and Dara was sighing softly while playing with the ends of Billie’s blonde hair.

“My brother-in-law’s brother...Diana’s,” Billie silently thanked the clarification, drawing her thumbs over Dara’s thighs in random patterns - she was extra careful with the one scarred. “He’s a fucking bully, went with me to high school. Godofredo doesn’t like many people and the sentiment is mutual.”

“For being a bully, you got him acting like a tiny pupper, doll,” Dara was the one smiling shyly this time, getting a kiss just for that.

“Let’s say that I...beat him up really hard once,” Billie kissed Dara’s knuckles and fingers, bare from her usual rings, and then the inside of her wrist were one of her cross tattoos rested. “And twice, and thrice...and broke a chair in his back.” It was then when Billie looked at her wide-eyed. “That one had to do with why he ignored my nephew like that.”

Billie knew they would’ve been at it right away again, but she felt satisfied with what they did in the shower for some reason. That’s why they were last to shower, because Dara took in her hands all the things her siblings didn’t want to do - helping her mother in the kitchen, per example; driving her uncle Cedric to his appointment afterwards while Billie tried to help Dara's father in the backyard - to have the rest of the time from there to dinner free.

It was their time, only theirs to do as they wanted, and Billie wanted to actually fill it with more than sex.

Talking was good, she liked hearing Dara talk, and hearing more about her was even better. She was genuinely interested in whatever she was about to hear...because all she could focus in was the woman sitting in her lap, not in whatever was floating inside her brain almost twenty four seven.

“Godo and Berto’s oldest brother is Eva’s father,” Billie saw Dara frowning and she leant to kiss her chin, getting one in her cheek in response. “I don’t even care where the fuck he is now, Berto neither, but Godo always looked up to his big brother. Fifteen years has passed and he still forgets that his brother lost any right as father and partner the day he left my sister to her own devices, and that’s only the top of the list,” there was tiredness in Dara’s voice and a hint of rage that faded when Billie focused in keep drawing soft patterns in her skin. “It took my sister eight years to finally move on, she got married and soon Ezra was in the way. Godo still takes that as a treason or I don’t even know at this point...and well, the rest is story.”

“But I don’t get how you ended up breaking a chair in his back,” it was a lot to take in, to be fair, but Dara couldn’t help but laugh when Billie tried to lighten the mood in the bathroom.

“He decided to be a super duper asshole towards Deirdre while we were doing groceries, and well, a twenty-five years old me was really...let’s say I had a lot of pent up anger. I was invited to a party and you know how I get with the gin and he had the fucking audacity to show up,” Dara shrugged a bit and kissed Billie on the lips, sweet and slow while indulging in the intimate embrace. “If it wasn’t for Daya, he would have had a broken pool stick going clean through his thigh.”

“Wait, twenty-five, we already met when you did all of that?” Billie blinked fast at that and Dara blushed hard. “Now I can see why you were so-”

“Oh shush, I still am like that or did you forget what we did a week ago?” it was time for Billie to laugh and Dara to act like she was offended by what she said. Act because of the way she bit her cheek playfully. “But I did soften since then.”

She didn’t think that Dara actually softened, sometimes Billie could see that fierceness in her eyes, but she let her have that because she decided to move when someone knocked on the door. It was Dara’s father, Jeziel, telling them that they needed help to set up the table. Billie muffled a laugh against her hand when Dara silently punched the air and pinched the bridge of her nose before replying that they were going down in ten.

“See?” Dara started to gather their things to get back to the room. “This is why I like your sister."

"Do you now?" Billie raised an eyebrow, because she knew how much Dara despised Josephine - Jo wasn't really polite with her and openly declared her dislike for Dara, even when Dara herself always tried to be the most polite ever, to the point that even Billie and Jo's father had started to make positive comments towards the younger woman.

"Yeah, with her at least I see the knife that's gonna stab me," Dara laughed openly and Billie couldn't help but chuckle with her. "Bunch of traitors, I'm telling you, we gonna steal the natillas and the vodka bottle and go feast by the pool."

"Baby, you're on your medication," Billie caught Dara by the waist, spinning her around so she could kiss her once again. "You can't get hammered."

"Calamities never come alone," Billie knew it was a rough translation of some spanish words just by how weird was it phrased, but it was okay, who cared anyway? "Would my lady in shining armor come save us from doing the dishes tonight?"

God, why was she so goofy unexpectedly? Dara didn't seem to want to let go, her arms circling Billie's neck with care and pressing slow kisses down her cheeks to her neck. It wasn't fair, it had to be illegal!

"We'll use one of the twins as distraction and the other to steal the car keys, I'll take you anywhere you want me to," she tried to sound dreamy, fairy tale-sque even, but all she did was sound a bit desperate. "Pick a direction and I'll drive."

"God, how much I love you Billie Dean," the next kiss was glorious, taking in count it was probably the big last one until they were again in their room late at night later. "But we should go already, honey, let's go."

And that was it, their private moment ended with a dreamy sight and a kiss to die for, and Billie felt like something in her chest beamed with pride, love and a deepness she was getting fond of.

Dara was a slow walker now, to her own dismay since she hated moving slow, so it was easy to capture her hand and intertwine their fingers. Billie opened her mouth for a second, thinking about what she was going to say next, and Dara looked at her with curiosity filling her tired eyes. Without make-up, Billie could see the tiny freckles over her nose and cheeks better and it only added her a whole new level of cuteness.

"Are you okay Bills?" it was a question in a whisper, genuine worry laced with the words.

"Yes, it's only that I...well," she wanted to say it, she really wanted but it was too difficult. "I…" Dara's eyes shone in anticipation, one that made Billie feel a bit bad. "I think you didn't softened, you only got wiser and more patient."

How hard actually was when Dara said it to her almost everyday?

"Absolutely, if twenty-five me would had been in the same situation as thirty-two me today, that man would had been at the dentist to get fake teeth for real as of now," Dara giggled, hiding away the little disappointment upon not hearing those words she wanted to hear so bad, and kissed Billie's cheek sweetly. "Not letting him go with the soft warning of 'go already or I'll break your ribs with my cane'," one more kiss to Billie's nose and a dimpled smile. "Now let's go, before Diana breaks a new plate in the way to set up the table."

...

Billie didn’t know what to do at that point and it perfectly showed.

She always had easy talk ready to overcome awkward situations, that’s how she survived to lots of parties all those years. But Dara could see that it wasn't that easy for her right in this moment, not when she was watching Deirdre and Diana argue over God knows what and none seemed to want to stop them.

Dara was used to that, Deirdre was always out of touch with the fact that Diana was sensitive and Diana always forgot that Deirdre loved to burn every argument down to the base. It didn't help at all that her mom was trying to give Billie some pointers about, again, God knows what and that was messing up with any tempo her dear medium was trying to keep. She wanted to go save her before it was too late for her head, but she was busy getting the plates over the table in order while Eduardo tried to talk her ear off about the show he seemed to love so much these days.

How could a seven years old talk that much and so fast? If she wasn't trained with the old ladies at the store, she would've gone insane only five seconds in.

"¿En serio, papi? Give me that," Dara smiled at her nephew, not wanting to cut his speech but needing the cutlery in his hands. Eduardo gave it to her without taking a break from talking. "Hmm, abuelita gave you more forks, someone's coming?" But the kid was too deep in his world of explaining to his favourite part to actually pay more attention than the necessary to his aunt. "Well, we'll see later then."

It was something that didn't worry Dara at all, taking in count in her house there was always more people than the usual. Maybe her parents invited some friend over or her siblings, who knows? Reaching for her cane, which she left against the table, Dara decidedly tried to move towards Billie now that she was free.

Her grandfather, Bruno, saved the medium from the little chaos and they were sharing a comfortable silence in the couch, or at least that much Dara could see. Seeing both like that, two of the most important people in her life getting along well, made her stomach explode with butterflies as if she was a teenager again. And she wanted to be part of it too, even when she overheard some ruckus in the front door.

However, the ruckus had a name and Dara was interrupted in her tiny quest of making her way to Billie because of the new guest at the house.

"Oh God, Dara!!!!!" Loud as ever, the asian girl crossing the backyard door was smiling directly at her, running with open arms towards her and meeting in a big hug. "How long since I last saw you? Instagram posts doesn't count, it's been forever!"

"Don't be dramatic Gemma, I was here a couple months ago," Dara couldn't help but laugh at her soon sister-in-law's antics. "I hope Darziel is treating you right."

"Your brother will always treat me well," Gemma's laugh was clear and soft, making Dara feel at ease only with that. "Where's your mom, by the way? My mom made me brought over some desserts and other things."

"Kitchen...I think? You know the drill, follow the panicked voice and you'll find her," they both laughed with that and Gemma hugged her again, Dara indulging on it because well, she missed her friend, to be honest. "At my left at dinner like always?"

"Of course! Your right is for your grangran, how can I stole his sea-"

"Actually, tonight Billie is at my right," the statement made Gemma stop from walking and she looked back at Dara with surprise and curiosity written all over he face. "He's at her right."

"No way, is she here?" Hearing Gemma so excited only because Billie came to Sacramento this time, made Dara happily hum and nodded where Billie was now shyly chatting with Deirdre's husband. "Okay, okay, later you'll fill me with details and I'll try to sell my soul to the devil so you two have a table at the restaurant before you go back home," Gemma squeezed Dara's hand over the cane and smiled big at her before Ezra drew her attention, hugging her by the thighs. "Hey, big guy! Let's go see your granny, I brought your favourite mini-cakes."

When Gemma was gone, Dara couldn't help but chuckle to herself. Who would have tell that an eight year gap was something difficult in a friendship? She practically saw Gemma grow up in the woman she was today, her brother and her the bestest of friends until the spark of love grew between them and became more. To this day, it still amazed Dara how everyone was so blind to not see how Darziel was head over heels with her since they were little.

Maybe she could tell Billie that story at the promised dinner at Gemma's parents' restaurant.

Looking towards her blonde, Dara caught Billie asking for silent help because Abraham was drifting away in the conversation - as always - and she was getting even more lost if it was possible. Yeah, she totally needed to save her girl, be the knight in shining armour first and all those nice things.

But right in the moment she was about to take the first step, she heard it clear even over the voices of everyone.

The whir of a motorbike making a left in the corner of the street, the engine stopping in front of the house...it was loud enough to fill the silence of the street even when the house was alive with voices. It made Dara's stomach churn anxiously just with that, because she knew that exact sound by heart and soul. She really wanted it to be a hallucination because of the mix of allergy and pain meds, but the doorbell going off told her it wasn't.

Frozen like she was, Dara managed to turn around when she heard the rest welcoming the new guest that came through the backyard door. She wasn't ready for this, not at all, but she composed her best smile by the moment her eyes locked with those she knew from a long time ago, filled with surprise and something deeper, something she wasn't sure what it was because she was too worried to not runaway in that moment.

"Dara...Ana," her second name was always the way to soften her and only three people in this world could make it work. "You look beautiful, how are you?"

Her grandfather, Billie and Benjamin, her ex.

"Getting ready for the feast," Dara smiled in automatic and she immediately knew Benjamin knew it as well, that she was slipping into her full damage control mode as the clock was ticking even when she felt herself less tense. “You don’t look so bad yourself.”

And it wasn’t a lie, he had changed...both had changed greatly, in fact, but Dara thought the change looked better on him. Benjamin sported his hair short, one of those modern haircuts kids these days wore, and it was obvious he had trouble with styling it since he had wore it long since Dara had memory. He was dressed in jeans, clean sneakers, and shirt buttoned all the way up...and he looked so uncomfortable on it, that it drove Dara crazy for some reason.

Making her forget that she had literally no clue why he was even there.

And she moved towards him, like a magnet, instead of going to save Billie from Abraham’s never-ending talk.

Billie saw how Dara made her way towards the new man in the house and she felt something waking up in the pit of her stomach.

It wasn’t like she didn’t see Dara interacting with people, she was always polite and kind even with strangers, but it was the way the man threw his hands a bit to help her girl, the way Dara only moved her hand to dismiss it and got what she wanted - because who could get Dara to indulge without a fight? -; the way she fixed his shirt and his hair with quick fingers, the man thanking in a whisper while he also fixed his belt; and obviously the way he took her cane’s hand and kissed her fingers, over her rings, respectfully.

All of that it what truly woke Billie’s raw jealousy...but in a way she had never felt before.

A sad one that started eating her alive right in that moment.

It went worse the second they were all sat at the table finally. Dara seemed nervous, her fingers flickering with the need of having a cigarette over her knee, when this man sat in front of them led by Dara’s mother. Billie wanted to reach for her hand, intertwine her fingers with hers and kiss her head to whisper the softest ‘I love you’ ever whispered and see if it would help her girl to calm down.

Her eyes went to the rest of the table, trying to see if anyone was acting different, but she was met with the pure happiness of a family gathering. It gave her the empty sensation she sometimes had with Dara, like an impenetrable wall that hold back everything, but when she looked at their side of the table…

...she was met with something completely different.

Gemma was her bubbly self, but she kept being the most attentive towards Dara, talking her ear off but also giving her reassuring touches here and there. Darziel was as nervous as his sister, but he was trying to keep himself busy with eating because unlike Dara, his appetite never died apparently. Don Bruno kept eating, his eyes on the man as if he was able to dig holes in his skull just like that, but also kept passing Billie some of the dishes so she could eat a little of this and a little of that, making mumbled pointers about the food. Berto and Abraham talked to each other, to their kids, but sometimes gave nervous glances to their wives and to this man.

When her eyes finally landed in Carla, in the right end of the table, Billie knew there was something bigger than a family gathering going on and somehow, her sad jealousy went to a second plane because her attention was drawn by this same man that seemed to destabilize the whole picture.

“Sorry, I think we weren’t introduced,” he had a sweet smile, gentleman like, and it was pretty visible for her that he was trying to make things less awkward. He stretched his hand over the big lasagna platter and Billie went in automatic, taking it in hers. She expected a strong handshake but he held her hand as delicately as he did with Dara’s minutes ago. “I’m Benjamin Hernández, my parents are old friends of the family.”

“Billie Dean Howard,” she said her name trying to add the punch she always added when meeting someone, but she failed miserably. “I’m Annie’s partner.”

She did not fail, however, in finally reaching for Dara’s hand under the table with her free one, intertwining their fingers as she wanted. She didn't need to put up the charade of the medium of the stars, the fake smile, a more composed voice. She was just Billie.

And having Dara looking at her with the whole universe shining in her eyes was all that she needed to get her going through the whole dinner.

...

Saying that she ate too much was an understatement, she was pretty sure that she never ate that much to begin with. But it didn’t feel wrong, Billie was actually satisfied, warm and feeling just a bit tipsy thanks to the wine, making her enjoy better the rest of the night. She was still pretty much jealous, who was she kidding, but having Dara so close to her while they were playing domino with Diana, Deirdre and Gemma did wonders on her mood.

Dara seemed less nervous and leaving tiny pecks in her cheeks every time they did a good move in the game seemed to be helping her keep whatever storm that’s brewing in her head at bay.

“No, honey, you need to pay attention to this and this,” Billie nodded, following Dara’s hands. “And then...you put this one and boom! We won!”

“No fucking way!” Diana laughed at Deirdre’s reaction, Gemma still trying to figure out how Dara had won once again at domino. “To Hell with you, how do you do that? You always sucked ass to this game.”

“I found some online domino and the store is empty too many hours a day, I got better just by boredom,” Dara chuckled while Diana pulled all the tiles together, so they could play another round. “And Dahlia and I always play when we get together, she’s teaching Shelby as well.”

“And how that’s going? She’s a pretty good teach, I’ll always remember how she helped me with maths over Skype.” asked Gemma, happy to hear about Dahlia.

“Horrible, for a yoga instructor, Shelby sure does have like zero patience,” Billie laughed at that, the memory of how frustrated the other blonde woman was fresh in her head, while Dara put her arm over her shoulders. “Dahlia loves her too much to tell her, but hey, until then we got some funny show going."

Billie looked at Dara for a second, taking in the way the orangish light lightened her features ever so softly. Beautiful, so beautiful, so, so beautiful that Billie leant to kiss her just because she couldn't help it at this point of the night. Dara smiled against her lips and also indulged on it, her hand to Billie's cheek to loosely caress her cheekbone with her thumb.

It didn't last long but they kept kissing each other, peck after peck and making them forget they were about to play another round of domino, making both forget they felt still uneasy from dinner.

"Go get a room you two," Diana threw them a domino tile and Dara chuckled against the last kiss, receiving another one in the cheek.

"Same room you all keep using as hiding spot? No, thanks, I pretty much prefer to wait a few more days till we get home," Billie hid her face in Dara's neck so they couldn't see her smiling smugly at the lie, but also fondly at how the word 'home' sounded in Dara's lips. "Unless you want to learn some stuff from yo-"

"Oh my dear lord, don't finish that sentence Dara Ann Lynch!"

Everything sent them all into a big fit of laughter, one shushed quickly by Carla coming out from the kitchen back door with her arms akimbo. They five were the only ones still in the yard, the rest inside taking care of dirty dishes, sleepy kids and furniture moved.

“You better move inside, your father is already getting the ron out and all,” it was their cue to move, Billie knew that pretty well, and she soon had her arm ready for Dara to take. “Billie, can you be a dear and help me with coffee?”

“I can help you m-” Dara started to say before Billie could say or do something.

“Oh no, cariño," the way Carla smiled made Billie's stomach churn and she gave a side glance to Dara. "You rest a bit, okay? Dei, Dia, help your father, I think he's also fighting with the music thing you bought him for Christmas."

Deirdre and Diana said 'si mamá' at the same time and Gemma scratched the back of her neck, not knowing what to do since her mother-in-law didn't give her a task. Carla was still there, waiting for Billie, and she smiled at her before squeezing Dara's forearm a bit.

"Of course Carla, I'm coming."

Dara smiled faintly when Billie kissed her cheek and Gemma was quick to replace her, helping with the moving part towards the living room. As the day has gone by, Dara was feeling drained because all of the come and go had strained a bit her bad leg, and not even her cane was enough to make her feel steady.

Billie didn't want to leave her side, but playing nice with Dara's mother was important at this moment. She always felt there was some kind of separation with Dara's family and her, and she wanted to close that stranger gap. Sometimes she felt like they all were waiting for Billie to dump Dara and it was unnerving, to be fair, making her guts twist uncomfortably.

When she passed by the living room, Deirdre and Diana were talking with their father in spanish, the tone of their voices one of mockery yet exasperation because probably it wasn't the first time they helped him with the whole device. Cedric, Dahlia's father, was talking with Benjamin and Berto on the couch, while Abraham was getting glasses from a cabinet. The whole living room was getting cozy in someway, a kind of warmth Billie wasn't used to but she found herself not minding at this point...even enjoying it.

Everything was really different from her own childhood home.

Bruno gave Billie a warm smile when Carla and her got in the kitchen, tapping slightly with his hand the side table there to the rhythm of the song that was now playing in the background softly. There was still food in the counters, waiting to be fully cold and be stored in the fridge, but also there was a plate and a glass aside that made Billie recall that Dara's little sister, Dayanara, wasn't around yet.

"Is Dayanara coming home soon?" asked Billie after being told where were the stuff for coffee.

"Yeah, she called a few minutes ago, said in forty-five she'll be here," Carla chirped, turning on the stove so she could put the coffee pot and a kettle to heat up. "Daya's been working too many extra shifts this week, my poor baby."

"For a week that her sister is here, she should have stick with her usual schedule," rumbled Bruno, playing with a piece of paper that was over the side table.

"Ay papá, you know how she is, she just want to be better and be a good nurse, and that takes a lot of hard work," Carla gave Billie some cups and gestured her where the little spoons were. Dara had the same hand gestures as her mother, she noted.

"All I'm saying is that we barely have Anita here, demonios."

"Dara understands that Dayanara is working hard, she's the happiest as long as they can have some time together," interceded Billie after retrieving the spoons, leaving them in the tray they were getting ready. "But…" she looked over her shoulder before lowering her voice, a bit worried. "I feel like Dara thinks Dayanara is avoiding her or something."

And it wasn't a lie, to be honest. Dara did commented on it one of the days late at night, when they were lying awake because of the heat, and Billie easily picked up to what her girl was saying the next morning. She was always good at picking up the behaviour of the rest, even when sometimes was harder, thanks to her own gift and just by how Dayanara turned down every plan Dara had proposed to her, well, what else could be said.

However, Billie didn't drop the comment that innocently. If something was up, maybe a push in the right direction would give her some pointers about why everyone seemed so uneasy since they arrived. It wasn't only a thing of that day, Billie had been picking up the weirdness in the family little by little and decided to keep it to herself so Dara could enjoy their time there.

Maybe today was just too much, overall after seeing how Dara had reacted upon having that Benjamin guy over dinner with them all.

"No, no, no, she's just busy," even when Carla's voice was a bit happy-go-lucky, Bruno's scowl said that there was something else behind. "And tired, that's all."

Carla still didn't know how stubborn could Bullie get, unfortunately, let alone when Dara was involved. She needed to cut everything by the root the moment it started to bother her girl, she didn't make the rules.

"Well, you can lie to her all you want," Billie said, a match lightening inside her chest, while pushing the kitchen's door to shut it close. "And she's going to let you if she noticed, but not me. What's going on?" she asked it with the voice she usually used on set. "Since the second that guy was in her view, Annie's been all shook up, and I don't like that because we're supposed to be on vacation, away from any headache."

Billie didn't miss how Bruno looked at her, a proud glint in his eyes, when she crossed her arms under her chest and looked at Carla with all the courage she had gathered up in a matter of seconds.

God bless coffee for being so slow to be brewed.

"You can't tell my daughter about it, okay?" Fucking bingo, thought Billie when Carla finally gave in, looking at her to get a nod in response. "Did she talk to you about Benjamin before?" Negative, Billie shook her head. "He's her ex-boyfriend...and he's now dating Dayanara."

…

Dara had her eyes closed, trying to focus in how her father's heart beat, all while listening to him hum along the song that was currently playing.

They managed to get the music going and she was just too tired, hoping that Billie could free herself from her mother's hands soon, but her father had pulled her to dance with him.

She couldn't say no and she preferred to be occupied with something instead of leaving room to Benjamin to talk to her again. Dara was still trying to wrap her head around why he was there and, as much as she wanted, there was something buried deep inside her chest that stopped her from start a third degree interrogatory right away.

“...Y si en sueños pudiera volar, yo llegaría hasta ti,” her dad started to actually sing and Dara smiled, still her eyes closed. “Para entonces hacerte escuchar, lo que nunca te pude decir…” Dara giggled when he switched to humming again and it drew a low laugh from Jeziel.

“¿Ya te olvidas de tus canciones favoritas, viejito?” she asked in a mumble, letting herself be held better by her father. At times, more often than not these days, she missed the feeling of protectiveness being in his arms gave her.

“Ya sabes que nunca las aprendí del todo mami,” Jeziel smiled and kissed the back of her head, still swaying to the rhythm of the ballad.

“So lucky mommy loves you, you’re such a romantic,” she shook her head and tightened her hug.

“Sometimes I think she still loves me because I’m strong enough to move stuff around, like, I still got the guns and all,” Dara felt her father flex his arms a bit, making her roll her eyes because he still called his muscles like that. She felt how her father left his hand in her hair, carefully brushing her soft locks. “I like when you let your hair grow, makes me remember when you were home.”

Maybe that was why she didn’t like it, because it made her remember of all the things she didn’t want to relive, but sometimes she kept postponing going to the hairdresser when she was too busy and her head too full of thoughts. Which was kinda why it was getting longer these days without her caring much about it.

Spying through her eyelashes, she looked right at Benjamin, who was one of the reasons of why she did things differently these days.

“It makes me remember home as well,” Dara mumbled, hiding from her father that they remembered different things. “But I probably cut it once I’m back.”

“Ay no, mi niña, espérese a después de mi cumpleaños,” Jeziel pressed his hand a bit on Dara’s head, chuckling in that warm way he had. “Deme ese pequeño regalo, siempre te viste linda con tu pelito largo.”

“Okay, okay,” Dara sighed a laugh and looked at her father in the eyes finally, kissing his cheek fondly. Two months more of having long hair, she could do it...she thought. “But that’s your gift and that’s it, no more,” it wasn’t like a Dara had her father’s gift bought five months prior or else. “And you have to promise to make your chocolate cake for only us two and have a Rush Hour marathon...mojitos included.”

“None haggle like you, Anita,” Jeziel kissed her daughter’s forehead with love and tenderness. “You got a deal, but do you think Billie likes Rush Hour? Maybe we can let her have some cake and mojitos too.”

If Dara felt still uneasy, having her father to express curiosity and even show initiative towards Billie was a direct shot to her heart. Since the moment she told them she was dating Billie, her family except for her grandfather, Darziel and Gemma had been a bit...hesitant towards her. That in...seven years she didn’t show up much didn’t help her case, but she was taking steps forward and that seemed to have helped Dara’s family to also get interested, to want to get involved.

And that was the only thing Dara ever wanted since she knew she wanted to be with Billie as long as possible.

“Who do you think watch shitty movies with me back in Los Angeles? Dahlia?” that made father and daughter laugh, because Dahlia hated movies like those. “Billie sticks with me every time I get int-”

“Perdón,” Benjamin’s voice cut the father-daughter moment like a hot knife over butter. “¿Puedo...bailar con Ana, señor Jeziel?”

Dara felt her father’s hesitation in the way he didn’t stop from holding her, like he used to do when they were dating, and then the soft look in his face. Dara was the one between her siblings that resembled his father the most, her mother always joking that even as a days-old-baby she could pick point her from a bunch of other babies easily. So Jeziel got back the soft look he was giving, the permission Benjamin was asking for being given by his own daughter in the form of a tiny kiss on the cheek before his daughter turned around in his arms to put both her hands in the man’s shoulders.

His attention was drawn, however, by Eva wanting to dance with her grandfather and Dara was left with the source of her stress, who was trying to just mimic the way Jeziel was holding her daughter seconds ago.

Dara felt her body react like a ghost of what she was once. Forearms over Benjamin’s shoulders with her hands intertwined, Benjamin’s hands folded in her lower back and both looking into each other eyes with dozens of nights, days, noons spent together being there like a faint memory.

It felt like they were seventeen again.

Eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two and their love stronger than ever...yet they both were there, thirty-two and sharing space after ten years since the last time they touched each other, seven years since the last time they heard each other’s voices.

“I was being sincere back there, you still look beautiful,” it was a shy approach from him but Dara thanked it the same, because she was a bit speechless. “Thought a bit skinnier than I remember.”

“All my baby fat finally went from everywhere to my thighs and tits, what can I say? Still got some in my hands, though,” Dara couldn’t help but feel a tiny fire in her chest, full knowing Benjamin was picking at her and falling, making him laugh. “But I was sincere too, Min, you look nice even when I feel you’re wearing someone else’s skin.”

“Well...I thought it was time to make a big change once and for all, look nice and sharp, y’know?” that face that she once found so kissable didn’t change, the soft smirk on his lips, the rise and fall of his eyebrows. “Lena dragged my ass so hard after getting out that I kinda indulged in some brother-sister bonding time that ended up with me looking like one of these modern kids.”

“Your little sister won’t ever change...nor you do; she says ‘go’ and you say ‘where’,” Dara rolled her eyes at hearing, once again, her ex-sister-in-law’s antics. “How are you handling everything?”

Dara didn’t want to address the elephant in the room so soon, but it was better this way now that he kind of mentioned it. She felt her voice soften because six and a half years in jail wasn’t something easy to talk about, Benjamin’s features softening as well.

“It’s weird, not gonna lie in here, but these months are teaching me new things...and also making me think about some others,” he made that tiny gesture with his nose that indicated his cheek was itching and Dara’s hand went there to ease him, leaving it now in his shoulder while her other arm circled his neck. “Can you believe Godo approached me?”

That was something that ignited her from the pit of her stomach, raw anger destroying whatever coherent thing she was about to say and going full protection mode.

“Min, don’t te-”

“I spit on his feet the second he was a meter from me, your father and your uncle saw me,” Dara felt Benjamin reassuringly caressing her lower back with his thumbs. “I’m not going back Ana, I’m trying to do something meaningful with my life...not going back with those that left me behind,” his smile was sad and full of hurt and all the anger that Dara was feeling settled in uneasiness. “You were always right, I still don’t know how you put up with all of it...and I’m sorry what it did to you, to us.”

Those words were ten years late, still made her heart ache with all the resentment she never managed to wash away.

“Someone had to protect you,” Dara shrugged, Benjamin taking her hand in his and pressing it in his chest, against where his heartbeat was going steady and where he had tattooed the same moon as Dara had under her right collarbone. Dara knew her ex was feeling her rings, her crooked fingers from a handful of times she broke them in a street fight when they were younger. “And I’m not drunk enough to have this full conversation, Min...not that I can get wasted now, anyway, mix of pills I became.”

“Viejita te me volviste,” Benjamin didn’t seem to mind that Dara didn’t want to follow that conversation, but both knew someday they’d have it and they were okay with that for the time being.

“It’s not my fault this house became like an animal shelter, okay? My allergy skyrocketed in between Diana and her cats, Deirdre and her dog, my parents with Zeus...santo niño Jesús, give me a rest,” it wasn’t that Dara hated animals, she loved them in fact, but her allergy to animal fur...not goodie at all. “If my leg wasn’t acting up like a bitch, I would give the vodka a try,” she chuckled at that and a voice in her head nagged her because she also took one more of those. “But we have what we have.”

“It’s okay with me as long it’s okay with you,” Benjamin looked troubled for a second. “When my mother told me about the accident, it scared the shit out of me...watching you with that cane didn’t help to put me at ease at all.”

Two years had passed since the car accident but some days Dara still recalled it as if it was yesterday.

“Rehabilitation wasn’t enough, the limp will always be there as an effect, but I do prefer the limp over not having leg at all,” it was a too hardcore way to put it, but Dara always was direct like that. “Shit happens, Min.”

“I know but…” the hurt in his eyes was much deeper than Dara could think. “The thought of you alone in a hospital bed...it hunts me at times.”

Dara felt that last sentence like a glitch in the somewhat calm moment, deafening her for a second and her eyes straying from Benjamin’s face to where the kitchen door was opening, her mother, her grandfather and Billie coming back with the coffee, tea and whatever her mother was also getting ready. She kept swaying with Min but her whole skeleton wanted to escape, to take Billie by her hand and go upstairs, hide in the room and forget this night by drowning herself in between her lover’s thighs...as vulgar as that sounded.

“I wasn’t alone,” her voice was so faint that it hurted somehow. “Billie watched over me, she never left my side.”

While saying that Dara saw Billie freeze halfway to the living room’s table, locking eyes with her. Billie’s expression resembled a deer caught in the headlights and somehow the sensation of getting away from Benjamin got worse, as if his mere contact was like embers. Dara silently looked at her in search of an answer of sorts, Billie opening and closing her mouth ever so slightly and looking away from her.

Was that tea in her hands?

“Your partner, yeah,” Dara couldn’t tell what kind of feeling Benjamin wanted to convey, her own emotions building up, overwhelmed. Mockery, sadness, resentment, knowledge, she didn’t know, she didn’t want to know. “The ultra nice blondie, with the medium thing going. Your mother told me about her. If I didn’t know you better, I would have thought she was having a fling with you or something.”

Billie wanted to break the cup of tea in her hands against Benjamin’s head, that was for sure, but right in that moment she was a bundle of mixed feelings after what Carla had told her in the privacy of the kitchen.

She had seen Dara dancing with Nora multiple times, even hummed along the song they were dancing to, but it didn’t wake up the same feeling that the image in front of her was at the moment. She truly wanted to have the strength to pick up Dara in her arms, going full bridal style and take her upstairs, or somewhere entirely else to drown in being the two of them alone. There was no cigarette able to calm her right now, not even one of Audrey’s joints would help at all.

But there was something in Dara, the way her face was one of pure pain and surprise at the same time, that didn’t sit right. She seemed to be withdrawing from Benjamin as the seconds passed by and Billie’s eyes went to how the rest didn’t seem to notice the change in Dara at all.

It was then when the front door opened, keys clinking muffled thanks to the music, and the last Lynch arrived at the house.

No, this can’t be.

She thought that with her heart twisting in her chest painfully, seeing how Dayanara looked as mortified as Benjamin apparently but being more subtle about it. Billie didn’t need to read minds to know that Dayanara perfectly knew her boyfriend didn’t say shit to her sister or the rest did. They were all acting normal and her face showed clearly how tired, angered and confused she was. Billie felt Bruno by her side, taking from her hands the cup of tea she had ready for Dara, and leaving it over the table while letting his free hand to rest in the middle of her back. A silent support, she supposed.

“Daya!” Carla was trying too hard to cover her own surprise by being happy about her arrival. “I’ll heat you up some food, go get change and-”

“Mamá, por favor, cállate,” Billie didn’t need to understand spanish to fully know what was said by how Dayanara pinched the bridge of her nose after pulling up in her head her glasses, leaving her bag over a chair. She was still wearing her nurse uniform. “I’m too tired to handle this right now but I’m going to rip off the band-aid once and for all, and fuck everything.”

“What’s going on?” it wasn’t ‘what are you talking about?’ what came from Dara’s lips and Billie already expected her to say that because as much as she liked to be direct, Dara only asked for the same at the end of the day.

“Benji and I have been dating for four months, that’s what’s going on,” Billie felt herself shiver at how similar Dara and Dayanara’s features were when angry. “I wanted to tell you right away, talk to you face to face, but between both being busy and all...well, I expected to tell you after dinner today. Thought he was going to start the conversation since I got stuck at work, but it seems he didn’t.”

The tension in the living room was heavier than how it was at the Montgomery’s mansion, Billie starting to feel a soft static tickling her skin as if it was some kind of warning that everything could go to shit from one second to another.

Dara wasn’t going to explode as her family thought, right?

That was what Carla told her in the kitchen, the motive behind why they all had been hiding all of that from her. Carla told her that Dara would get angry and messy upon knowing that her ex was dating her little sister, but Billie had stepped forward to counter that, tell her...mother-in-law that Dara was pretty down on Earth and calm upon facing any kind of issue, always working her way through it with a control that even her wished to have.

Darziel looked between his older sisters, worried sick, while Deirdre and Diana looked to each other first and then to both Dayanara and Dara, as if they were going to get into a fight or something. Dayanara stood where she was, like an immovable force, but Dara…

...Billie never saw Dara so defenceless.

However, that defencelessness went away the moment Dara smiled brightly at her little sister, throwing off everyone in the room with the force of an earthquake.

“That’s...God, Daya!” Dara laughed and walked towards her little sister, who noticed right away how she was limping heavier and met her halfway, getting hugged in the process. “I’m so happy for you two! Now it makes sense that he’s here,” Dara flickered her fingers towards Benjamin. “It was my fault for not coming home earlier so we could talk, don’t worry,” then she looked at her mother before taking her cane, which was resting against the table, before lacing her fingers with Dayanara’s. “Let’s get you some food and you can tell me some details, if it’s okay with you.”

Annie, what are you doing? Billie wanted to scream that on top of her lungs, confused as she was, while the rest of the house seemed to start breathing at ease upon seeing such reaction from her. Bruno did seem to think the same as her, but there was something in his eyes that told Billie this kind of reaction wasn’t a one time thing.

“It...is,” Dayanara was getting back from the shock, nodding and starting to walk along Dara towards the kitchen. “We can always talk more over breakfast.”

“Of course, of course,” Dara chuckled and leant to kiss her sister’s temple with love. “Gossip over pancakes, best gossip, right?”

Billie didn’t care how Jeziel seemed to stop Benjamin from following them, didn’t care that the rest went back to their things, didn’t care when Bruno led her towards the couch so they could sit together and monopolize it.

But she did care about how Dara had gone, somehow, where Billie was still both too afraid and too confused to follow her.

...

When a nausea wave hit her once again, making her empty whatever was left at that point in her stomach, Dara thanked to her five-minutes-past self to have opened the shower to make the most background noise possible.

It wasn’t weird at all that someone got showered at the wee hours of the night in the house at summer, so she saved her own ass with that.

For sure heat didn’t help at all, she thought as she put a hand over her sweaty forehead, waiting in case she threw up again. Not that there was something else left but bile, but who knew what her body was going to decide. She laughed to herself, thinking in how in other scenery that could make her go bananas and think she was pregnant or something, instead of just having such anxiety attack like the one she was having in that very same moment.

God, sometimes her mind went to some weird places in those situations.

Drenched in sweat as she was, she made a quick work by flossing the toilet and get in the shower after peeling off her pajamas, taking advantage that it was already turned on. Cold water made her feel better, settling little by little the hole her anxiety was craving in her stomach. With tears pushing for freedom in her eyes, Dara tried to think about anything else to calm her racing mind. Like how everyone had decided stay at the house, how funny it looked the way Deirdre and Diana managed to both get the sofa-bed and their husbands took the cold hard floor by their side. Darziel, Gemma and Eva slept in Darziel’s room, the girls taking the bed while he threw some pillows to the floor and built a nest-like bed for him. Dayanara and Benjamin went to Daya’s room and Dara’s mind made a double spin to avoid thinking more about that.

She was glad Billie and her got the tiny guest room-made-office for themselves.

Wrapping her hair in a towel and drying herself enough to get back in her clothes, Dara made her new task be brush her teeth the best she could. She had rinsed her mouth several times before going down to the kitchen to get some water, her throat still burning, but the stupid bad taste didn’t seem to go away. Dara went through the fridge to get some juice instead, and when she found one she actually didn’t like much - she wasn’t risking her favourites to get ruined because of this - she sat there with the window open, drinking right from the bottle while getting some fresh air to clear her head.

In her head everything seem to go really fast, almost disorganized, but whoever watched her from the outside could clearly see how slow and careful she was moving.

She was the best at pretending everything was fine, to hold it in until she was alone to let it all flow, but having a full house didn’t help her at all. And of course this wasn’t some stupid argument between her siblings or with her mother, so it only got worse from then on. Dara wasn’t having an anxiety attack because it overwhelmed her the news per se, but because she was reliving all the memories from her time by Benjamin so hard that made her want to slap some sense into Dayanara, tell her to break up with him and find her someone in Los Angeles, someone probably better under her own point of view…

...but what was the point, after all.

Nothing Dara could say would make her sister change her opinion and she didn’t want to influence her in anyway possible, because her own experience didn’t have to be her sister’s right?

Ten years had passed, ten fucking years! Whatever she knew about Benjamin was literally thrown away into the garbage can because she didn’t know that man anymore, how he was now, how he acted now, his aspirations, whatever.

She only knew the ghost of what he was once...and it was the other way around as well.

The way he talked about Billie didn’t help him at all, the rejection was immediate as if he had slapped instead of throwing around some stupid words. If I didn’t know you better, I would have thought she was having a fling with you or something. Dara had to close her eyes because the nausea was about to hit her again, that or an unstoppable flood of tears. It felt wrong hearing that, as if Dara herself was nothing but a game for someone like Billie. How could he even dare to tell her that when he didn’t have the balls to tell her that he was dating Dayanara? He didn’t know her at all, for God’s sake!

So fucking horrible, wasn’t it?

Dara’s eyes wandered around the kitchen, trying to tone down the awful feeling in her chest by focusing in the kitchen of her childhood. All she could see was a time that she wasn’t happy...and she wasn’t thinking about being five to ten and running around with the laugh of her grandparents as music, she was thinking of her teens, her early twenties and how one day she packed all she had in the middle of the night, took her shitty ass car - that would get wrecked eight years later in the accident - and drove all the way to Los Angeles to take a wild chance on life.

A leap of faith that made her feel she still had something to do in life.

Her eyes finally landed in the only light bright enough to make a difference in the somewhat dark kitchen aside the fridge one and Dara’s stomach churned. They will always have landline, till the end of times, she thought while hobbling to take the wireless phone. Navigating through the agenda, Dara felt immediately guilty about what she was about to do but she needed to talk with someone that wasn’t in the mess at all.

Or that she hoped.

She knew well, deep inside, that she had had to wake up Billie for that but she didn’t have the heart to do so when her partner managed to get a hold of a night of sleep. Even more when it took several glasses of rum to take her down completely. Dara didn’t want to think about the hangover her father, Billie and Berto would have upon waking up, her own stomach hurting even more for them. So her thumb pressed lightly the button to select the number in the agenda, letting herself to think once again if it was the right choice overall.

Dara, while pressing the phone against her ear and sitting back in the chair, made a mental note to live a fifty dollars bill in her mother’s purse later in the morning.

“¿Abuelo?” the sleepy and heavy accented voice of a woman sounded in the other side of the line. “Ah...no.” was the only thing Dara managed to croak in response and the woman sighed heavily, whoever was by her side grumbling something in their sleep. “¿Tata Carla? ¿Qué lo que pasó? Incluso para usted es temprano.” the woman seemed to start functioning and Dara choked on an incoming sob because she didn’t want to overworry her. “It’s me, Dara, sorry for waking you up so early,” that seemed to restart the woman, whose voice was pure confusion now. “Dara? What are you doing calling me from your parents’? What are you doing even there?” sometimes Dara forgot that her cousin was a bit out of touch of everything, so it wasn’t something new to see that she didn’t read the family group chat. “I’m on vacation here...but I was calling you because…” Dara felt the uncomfortable warmth of tears in her cheeks and she couldn’t help but sniff a bit to hold another sob, even when her voice broke. “I don’t know Dani, I needed someone to talk with I guess,” Dara pressed her free hand, which was shaking, against her own chest. “But if I’m bothering you I can call later, I know it’s stupid, you should probably go back to sleep...You must be tired from work and all, I’m so-” Being shushed by Danielle wasn’t harsh, but it was what Dara needed to start crying a bit harder. “You won’t ever be a bother, not even if you tried, so don’t apologize. Just let me get down to the kitchen to not wake Bastien, okay? Take some deep breaths, mon mimi.”

Dara only managed to whisper an ‘okay’ while pressing her wrist to her eyes, trying to stop her about to be runny nose to do as she was told. She tried to focus on her breathing, but her throat still itched and hurt, so imagine the mess. Muffling her coughs against her forearm, Dara instead tried to focus in whatever sound Danielle was making in the other side of the line while her tears ran freely down her cheeks.

She was also repeating herself there, because ten years had passed too since before leaving her parents’ house forever she called her oldest cousin to get some sort of support. Twenty-two to twenty-nine, thirty-two to thirty-nine, the only thing that had changed was that her cousin didn’t have a two years old baby anymore but a twelve years old girl that probably didn’t remember Dara that well and that Danielle’s beautiful black mane was getting too many white hairs too soon.

“Okay, I’m here,” Danielle’s voice was gentle and warm. “You want to tell me before, after or in between the crying?”

Dara decided the last option because, as always, it was the best to get as much as she could out of her chest.

…

Billie didn’t know how she got downstairs alive, but she did it somehow without breaking her neck.

Maybe it wasn’t that good of idea getting hammered with her father-in-law and brother-in-law last night, probably not her best performance, but what was done, done was. Rubbing her eyes a bit and not getting her hand smudged with make-up - Dara probably removed it when she was asleep or she convinced her drunk ass to do it somehow - was a good start, but overhearing the cheery voices coming from the television gave her headache an uncomfortable push.

How late did she wake up? Not that they had much to do, anyway, but oversleeping was hard in her in-law’s house. Her eyes went to the clock over the kitchen door, the bright red numbers telling her right away that it was midday. That sobered her up a bit, but what actually made her react was realizing the living room wasn’t that illuminated.

The curtains were almost closed except for a crack, enough to cast light over where Bruno was reading the newspaper. Her eyes then went to the television, some cartoon movie playing for Ezra, Eduardo and Evan, who were behaving themselves pretty well for being what probably was the hour when their energy should be at its peak, and then Billie discovered why they were so quiet aside of trying not to bother their great-grandfather morning reading.

Dara was there in the couch with them, long as she was, and the boys were sitting there too in a way that Billie didn’t know how could any of the four of them could be comfortable, except for maybe Eduardo that was lying over Dara, with his head in her chest. Evan and Ezra were sitting in between her legs, their tiny ones draped over Dara’s right leg as if it was some kind of a leg-rest or something. The funniest part was that Dara was heavy asleep, making Billie to think if maybe the heat didn’t let her sleep last night and was making up for it now.

That or maybe the stress from yesterday hit her like a truck.

“Morning,” Billie mumbled, raising her hand. The boys waved at her and Bruno looked up from his newspaper, all in silence. “Where’s everyone?”

“Jeziel and Berto in the kitchen, trying to get breakfast before my daughter comes from getting groceries with Deirdre, Diana and Eva,” explained Bruno without raising his voice much. “Abe, Daya and motor-kid to work, papito God knows where with Gemita.”

“Oh, okay,” Billie got closer to Dara and she leant with care to kiss her forehead and cheek with love, only getting a soft comfortable hum in response and making Billie lick her lips a bit, refraining herself to kiss her in the lips but noticing something along the way, like some kind of saltiness in Dara’s skin that Billie only blamed to sweating too much. “She must be really tired, I didn’t see her sleep so soundly in a while.”

“Must be, dear,” and with that, Bruno got back to his reading, the kids never getting their attention drawn from the film. “Go get some pancakes before they butchered them all, Anita made them.”

She obeyed without much thought, her brain still fuzzy with the hangover, but when she sat with coffee and the last two pancakes in the tray by the men in the kitchen table everything felt a bit more homier. It was the first day Dara wasn’t getting breakfast with her, who always was the one saving her from the morning chatter, but she was lucky enough to share breakfast with the other two hangover people in the house...so she got some quiet time sprinkled with some ‘pass me this’ or ‘pass me that’.

Nonetheless, the quietness of the morning helped her greatly to finally think about what could she get Dara for their seventh anniversary.

And she really hoped that her gift, along a pretty deserved night only the two of them, could make Dara feel a bit better and take her mind off the whole mess that ensued last night in the very same living room she was sleeping so peacefully in.

#billie dean howard x original character #dara ann lynch #billie dean howard #original character #ahs hotel #ahs murder house #american horror story

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taehyungsgrowl · 5 years ago

Text

SFW Alphabet for Nate

I think I did it wrong last time bc I was waiting for people to send me letters when I was just supposed to go down the list. But I’m a dummy so disregard half of what I say.

i hope you guys like them and thank you virgo anon for the input w these 🥺i love our baby 🥺

Here we go:

A- Activity (What is their favorite activity to do with you.)

-- i think he likes doing new things w you. and i know that sounds cliche BUT hear me out. duncan is a bit of a home body 🥺loves to be curled up w reader sharing kissies and cuddling. nate enjoys that too but i think trying new adventures w you is his favorite. i can see him being the type to like hiking dates!! (also lets not forget the tik tok videos you guys make together )

B- Beginnings (How do they act in the beginning of a relationship)

-- considering the beginning did start off as something kinda casual between him and reader, he kept it as such. but he’s such a natural charmer that even when he’s not trying, he just comes across as super sweet. they’d finish hooking up and he’d offer her to stay over or get them food (not bc he felt like he needed to but it’s just the kinda guy he is) i think he probably let his goofy side out right at the beginning as well. its what helped y/n open up to him and feel at ease w him 🥺

C- Communication (Are they good communicators? How do they normally talk about their problems or solve issues)

-- big sigh. nate? was the KING of communication!! hell! he was able to talk to duncan (who ISNT the best at communicating) when they weren’t even friends and helped him talk to dumb!reader. plus he’d always been open about his feelings. told y/n right away when he knew he was in love. (i only say he WAS bc he should have told y/n he was struggling before he ended up in the hospital 🥺)

D- Drunk (What are they like when they’re drunk)

-- koala bear cuddly drunk!! not just between him and reader! but he will love on anyone! (omg.. you know dunc was a little 😳when drunk!bro!nate started hugging him... hiding his face in duncs neck... telling he smells good... telling him how much he loves him... bros 👯‍♂️)

E- Emergency (How are they in emergency situations? You get hurt, they get hurt, someone is dying etc..)

— oh god. nate is the type to keep cool and collected in an emergency - even if he were the one having an emergency 🥺 like if reader would’ve been w him during his car accident, she would have been worried sick over him and he’d just be like, “hey, look at me. i’m okay, yeah? a lot stronger than i look, babe.” even if it hurt like hell because he doesn’t wanna worry her. if you were in an emergency or got hurt, he’d go into sexy doctor mode. “tell me where it hurts.” squeezing your hand to reassure you, “i got you.” also kissies where it hurts 🥺 and he’s such a good listener too wow we have no choice but to simp.

F- Free Spot (I’ll give you any headcanon I come up with)

-- i’m just gonna share one head canon that virgo anon tossed at me that really made me 🥺 baby nate 🥺 and how when he was younger he was always a nice boy 🥺 but wasnt the popular or “hot” one until he grew into himself in college 🥺 when he got maxie and it helped him manage his stress enough to be able to make connections 🥺y’all when she said that it made me heart 🥺 my sweet boy

G- Gifts (What kind of gifts do they give? What kind of gifts do they get?)

-- i think his gifts are rarely “over the top” but !! they’re simple and personalized!!! like a lil necklace w his initials / name 🥺or maybe he has someone make a picture of you two into an animation? like have someone draw you guys (do u know what im talking about?) as far as gifts for him, he enjoys like “interactive gifts” like sending him on a lil scavenger hunt (nate loves setting them up for you too 🥺) but if you set one up for HIM? god! he’d love you!

H- Hugs (How do they show affection/cuddle)

-- nate loves! loves! to give forehead kissies (not just because he’s tall fjhsjh) and being hugged (or picked up) in his strong arms!! loves it!! he loves being the big spoon 🥺i love him.

I- Irritation (What is something that irritates them? How do they show their irritation?)

-- that reader continues to choose duncan over him fkjsvsfkv he wears his heart on his sleeve so i think when nate is upset or irritated... you know.

J- Jackpot (How would they spend their winnings if they won the lottery?)

-- does nate have more $ than the shepherds? debatable. but he isn’t as... flashy w his money as duncan is. he’s a little more down to earth if that makes sense. BUT thats besides the point. he’d probably donate a lot to a charity of his choice than take you on a little get away. maybe a cross country road trip 🥺 or off to an island getaway. he’s flexible.

K- Kryptonite (What is their ultimate weakness?)

-- virgo anon made me 🥺when we were talking about this bc nate would do anything for the people he loves and 🥺that gets him hurt. especially when he feels like those people dont love him in the way he does them 🥺

L- Laughter (What makes them laugh?)

-- clown!! nate is the guy that always keeps you laughing 🥺and most times he cant even contain his own laughter omg i will cry im in love with one man

M- Morning ( How do they wake up in the morning? Are they a morning person or a morning grouch?)

-- he’s a morning person 🥺 likes to start off his morning with a run and protein shake SMH fitness KING.

N- Needy (When do they feel particularly needy? How do they show it?)

-- he’s so used to being the one who’s needed 🥺 it takes him a while to be comfy being vulnerable and needy. idk if there’s anything in particular that sets him off to be like this - but i’d like to think it happens at random. like youre on the couch and he just nuzzles his face on your tummy for you to pet his hair. he demonstrates it by wanting to be close to you 🥺

O- Oasis (Where is their happy place? Where would they go if they didn’t have anything holding them back?)

-- i think he’d be the kinda guy that enjoys the sun (not just bc he looks hot, shirtless on a beach) but yes. somewhere nice and sunny where he could have maxie w him 🥺if he could stay on the beach where he started falling for dumb!reader (with her) for ever he would 🥺

P- Pain (How do they handle pain? How do they handle when you are in pain?)

-- emotional or physical? jfgksjdgsdk but no i think if he’s well regulated, he can handle pain well - it’s when he’s not that it’s a problem (w emotional pain) he stops taking care of himself the way he should and really spirals into his head a lot you know 🥺i think he can handle others being in pain better than himself bc he loves a lot and its easier to focus his attention on trying to fix things for them (like we said his biggest weakness is doing too much for those he loves)

Q- Quote (What’s a quote that fits them and your relationship)

-- “loving is easy” fjskfsf not to be too corny but 🥺being w nate was easy... always on the same page.. and made her feel good. 🥺

R- Reunion (How do they celebrate seeing you after a long time of being apart)

-- lots!!! of kissies!! picking you up!! holding you close!!! physical touch is pretty high on his love language list i think 🥺(i think quality time or acts of service might be his top two though)

S- Stress (What stresses them out? How do deal with stress and how do they relieve it?)

-- i generally think duncan is more of a control freak than nate, but i do think to some extent, they’re similar that when things feel out of their control, it really stresses them out. i think it manifests at different times. i think for duncan its more trivial things whereas w nate, if he feels like he could be doing something to “fix” something and he cant do anything it freaks him out. hes a healer, you know. i think working out is a big stress reliever for him 🥺my strong baby!! that and goofing off w reader 🥺

T- Terror (What are they afraid of?)

-- this kinda ties into his weakness (and could be amplified by his younger years) but he’s afraid of not really being enough for those he loves. especially if he was teased as a kid 🥺maybe thats why in a lot of his nightmares the theme of abandonment appears a lot 🥺i made myself SAD 🥺

U- Unique (What is a quirk that is unique to them?)

-- i asked virgo anon for help on this one 🥺and i love her so much 🥺 nate tugs on his hair when he’s nervous 🥺 he gets a lil annoyed after he buzzes it off and doesnt have much to pull on 🥺he likes to hold hands when spooning. loves to sing along to disney movies (but lets be honest, he’s the real prince KING)

V- Violence (Do they fight a lot? Are they a good fighter? What is their fighting style?)

-- well... idk if it’s fair to say he fights a lot because he tries not to resort to that - especially grad school nate. mostly because he knows he’s good at fighting. omfg... boxer!nate.... may have all my rights. and he doesn’t really wanna hurt anyone. BUT if needed!!! he will throw down. (ex. when dunc wouldnt let y/n leave the house. and then attacked him!! nate had to stand his ground 😌

W- Wow (What do you do that really surprises them? What do you do that they really like?)

-- idk i think nate was probably really surprised when reader gave him that second chance at friendship in the bathroom 🥺didnt think she would. on a lighter note, surprising him w fresh cooked meals always make him 🥺because... he’s trying but hasnt mastered the cooking thing yet.

X- (Explicit headcanon. For all you degenerates)

-- he’s uhh packing 😳and it hits all the right spots, you know 😳omfg and lets not forget the dickscussion we had about his head game being stronger than duncans 😌

Y- Yucky (Is there something that grosses them out so badly that they can’t deal with it?)

-- i wasnt sure what really grossed out medical professionals (if anything djsfs) but we kinda head canon for him to be into family / pediatric medicine so anything w LOTS of blood loss probably freaks him out

Z- ZZZ’s (What are their sleeping habits? Both with and without you)

-- my baby. nate has really bad night terrors especially on bad(tm) days. it usually helps to have someone w him to be able to keep him calm when he wakes up 🥺if its not y/n you can bet maxie will be there for tons of kissies. he’s a sleep talker 🥺and when sleeping w you he loves being big spoon 🥺and when he’s alone, he kinda sleeps curled up and w a lot of pillows. comfort KING

#nate #dumb!reader #nate x dumb!reader #duncan x dumb!reader x nate #duncan shepherd

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theshinsun · 5 years ago

Note

A-Z for honesty hour because I'm an asshole. :D

A - If I’m in love.

...yes. I never thought I would be again, I thought I’d been too hurt and jaded to feel this way again, but against all odds, I’m back to being 17 in full force.

B - Who the last person I talked to on the phone was.

The only one who ever calls me is my mother. And customers at work.

C - How long it’s been since I’ve kissed.

damn, almost a year now… not since my last relationship ended back in October-ish. even then, it was mostly casual pecks idk if we ever seriously made out tbh.

D - If I have a preference for boys or girls.

already answered (twice) but I'll keep going… I've got a definite preference of guys over girls, but I'm also a bi disaster and sometimes it doesn't make a lot of sense why this person is instantly attractive to me while that person isn't. certain aspects of femininity do appeal to me, but weirdly other aspects seem to be a turn-off and I can't always put my finger on what or why. ...that caveat does not apply to masculinity though, even if it's traditionally "masculine" features on a feminine-presenting individual I am 100% down every time.

E - How many holes I have in my ears.

two and a half? I got a third piercing at some point halfway up the lobe but it got infected and scarred over I think. the holes I do have are also stretched (I'm up to 0G now) and I've been meaning to get some more.

F - Give me any options, like ‘hot or cold?’

wasn't given any options, so I guess I'll go with hot or cold lol. I prefer hot, I'm one of those weirdos who loves summer because of the heat and I'll usually take a hot food/drink over a cold one.

G - The last person I said ‘I love you’ to.

my mom, over the phone just now.

H - The last person I hugged.

my roommate. we're not always super touchy-feely with each other but I've been feeling kind of down and she noticed.

I - The last time I felt jealous, and why.

I'm not usually a very jealous person, but the last time I really felt that way… I'd recently broken up with my ex, and they were sitting on someone else's lap and I… felt things. part of the reason I realized I may have made a mistake.

J - Are you insecure. What about?

K - What my full name is

already answered, my first and middle are Jacob Brooks, I'm not putting my last name out there sorry I don't trust like that.

L - If I have siblings.

already answered, I've got two, an older brother and a younger sister.

M - If I forgive betrayal.

I mean, I forgive but I don't forget, ya know? like I'll accept an apology if it's sincere and welcome the person back and never bring it up again, but I'm probably gonna be cautious around them in the future, and not trust them as readily as I would have before.

N - If you want to know how I treat my friends.

if I call someone my friend it means I really feel close with them, and I treat my friends basically like my family. I try to always be honest and supportive of them, bc I love and appreciate them and just want them to be happy.

O - If I like my school.

I love my school. the campus is beautiful, the teachers are fantastic, and I just love being there and learning and growing in my classes. I'm really sad this semester is probably going to be mostly online because I really feel like I belong in those studios and on that campus and I miss it.

P - What kind of music I like.

already answered, and it mostly boiled down to all over the fuckin place, so this time… band recommendations, here we go. no you have no say in this.

here, have a clump of random favorite bands off the top of my head: mother mother, bad suns, nothing but thieves, hozier, shearwater, the neighbourhood, steam powered giraffe, rainbow kitten surprise, the oh hellos, gregory alan isakov, caravan palace, mystery skulls, khai dreams, autoheart, muse, silversun pickups, thousand foot krutch, two door cinema club, twenty one pilots, blue october, jukebox the ghost

Q - What the last party I went to was, and when the next will be.

I'm not a partier at All, but I did have a bunch of friends over for the 4th (okay I say a bunch but it was like four people from our usual less-socially distant circle). I have no idea when the next get-together will be, it's kinda hard to plan those kinds of things lately.

R - For me to tell 10 of my curiosities.

the phrasing of this question is weird but I'm gonna assume it means things I'm curious about? let's go with that.

travel. I haven't ever been out of the country and I'd like to see other parts of the world at least at some point in my life.

tattoos. both getting them and learning to do them, it's a niche branch of art that I'm just fascinated by and I might like to do it as a career if I knew more about it.

same thing with being a florist. I'm really drawn to it as a concept and I'm super curious how it works, but I have no idea what kind of… qualifications and whatnot I'd need for that.

surfing. I'm surrounded by the lifestyle and now kind of own a surfboard, I just want to know what the appeal is.

this may be a bit tmi, but I'm really curious what it's like to have a dick. I don't suppose I'll strictly ever know, but I still really want to… probably one of the biggest things to clue me in that I'm definitely trans is the literal penis envy ngl.

I've always kind of had a fascination with the ocean, and I'd love to go like, scuba diving or something someday, to see it up close and personal.

I think everyone has the impulse thought of shaving their head at some point. maybe someday I will I don't quite have the balls to do it now.

I've gone this long in my life and never wielded a sword? a travesty. I don't pretend to have the grace to actually know how to use one, but I've like, never even held a real one and the idea interests me a lot.

this one might be slightly morbid curiosity, but I don't think I've ever been like, properly drunk or high before, like I've been tipsy but I've never been wasted, you know? the idea kind of scares me and I don't think I'm going to go out and remedy it, but it's still there, and even if I know it's not a good idea, I do still wonder what that's like.

same vein, maybe even a little darker, but I've got at least a little morbid curiosity about like, death and real danger. again, not planning to act on it At All, but the thought is still lurking in the back of my mind like what if…? you asked for honesty. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

S - 2 habits.

bit of a new habit, but I have a whole ritual of disinfecting groceries when I bring them home, and then disinfecting the door knobs and counters. I don't know if it'll persist after the pandemic is over, but it's already ingrained in me and I don't feel comfortable if I skip it or do it differently.

I apologize for things that aren't my fault. it's such an instinct at this point to say "sorry" when I'm uncomfortable or anxious that it doesn't even register anymore, even when people tell me not to be sorry, I'm still gonna say it, sorry.

T - 5 things I love unconditionally.

already answered so here's 5 more

my family. if I haven't got my family I haven't got anything, we've got each others' backs and I won't turn on them for anything

my friends. same deal, I owe so much to my friends, I love them, and that won't change no matter what they decide to do or be.

sleep. I love sleep so much, even if it's just an involuntary nap, though for someone who loves it so much I sure don't get enough of it

spotify. I know it has problems, I know there are probably more streamlined/cheaper music streaming services out there, but at this point, I've sunk too much of my time and energy into this one and I'll never give it up

my ocs. I don't talk about them very much on this platform, but I have them, they're my children, and I love them even if they're assholes and never easy to write/draw.

U - How many texts I send daily.

already answered, the number varies, and sometimes swings drastically between like, 5 and 35 on any given day.

V - 3 big dreams.

graduate art school. it's gonna be a serious undertaking and probably take several more years and a lot of loans at this point, but I'm still determined to get there someday.

someday I want to write a book. I know I've said that before on a different prompt, but it wouldn't be a list of dreams without including this one that I've held onto since childhood.

this one's kind of vague, but someday… I want to not be afraid anymore. like I want to finally be in a state of mental/financial security so I can live my life without the fear of what's coming next.

W - An idol.

it's probably really basic to list a youtuber, but I've still gotta go with Chase Ross. the guy was an inspiration and a major source of information and support for me early-on in my transition, and even watching him now I still want to approach life with the pure positive energy and confidence that he has.

X - If I’ve done something I regret very much.

yes. a couple things, really… some of which I don't think I'll ever be able to make up for.

Y - If I like my town and why.

my current town? yeah, it's got its problems but it's also beautiful and full of life and art and unique energy and I miss the days before the Corona End Times when I could actually go out and enjoy it.

Z - Ask any question you want.

??? I did not receive any specification for this one, and given that I didn't skip even the duplicate answers and this is ridiculously long, this one I'm gonna SKIP.

#shin speaks #answered #finally getting to this a million years later #thanks friend!!#i'll get to the other prompts in a second but i felt bad about not finishing this one #tw death mention #tw alcohol mention #just to be safe

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maandags · 6 years ago

Text

What One Night Can Do (Shiro x reader)

hey everyone!! how have y’all been? this week has been hectic as all fuck for me, and I’m leaving to see my family in the Netherlands in 2 days (and there’s a new member to my family!!!!), so i’m excited about that!!

-- -- --

Summary: You and Shiro haven’t seen each other in years--not since you had been hired at G. Empire Laboratories, where the working conditions were mediocre, at best. But your boss just fired you--which causes you to lose your engineering license--and when you hit a bar to forget about your troubles, you run into him again.

Word count: 9K

Genre: angst/fluff

Notes: masterlist - this one was very loosely based on that one scene in How To Get Away With Murder. you know the one. and it was also supposed to be way angstier but idk what happened,,, im not complaining

-- -- --

You're fired.

The words looped in your head over and over as you swirled your drink in its glass, letting the alcohol and the thumping of the music around you soothe the burning feeling that those three words left behind.

You are fired.

And just like that, you'd lost your job and your only source of income. Oh, and also your home. No big deal. How long had you not shared a flat with Lotor? Years. Three, four–the exact number had slipped your mind. You had done everything together: working as researchers in the labs, working out, having breakfast, lunch, dinner... Lotor--the entirety of G. Empire Laboratories--had become such a big part of your life that now that they weren’t anymore, you felt a bit lost.

You had only been allowed out once a month–and that included phone calls, text messages, any contact to the outside world. You never went to the same places as neither of you were supposed to get recognized by anyone. That was harder on Lotor, with his flowing silver hair, than it was on you, an average-looking person but always by his side.

Besides, Zarkon monitored your every step. You had never even been tempted to defy his orders and go to the same place twice.

Tonight, though, you looked like a regular sod in an old t-shirt and jeans drinking their sorrows away. Beckoning over the bargirl, you asked for a refill, already feeling the alcohol take effect and making you feel deliciously numb.

You'd try and spend the night with the Holts. They lived nearby and you always made sure to give them your monthly allowed call, catching up and assuring them you were doing fine, which was mostly the case. Matt and Pidge surely would be happy to see you. They'd probably let you stay until you had somewhere else to go.

Right now, you could probably survive on your–admittedly meagre–savings, but you'd have to find a job, and quickly. You'd scour the local supermarkets and cafés to see if they were in need of a cashier or a waiter or something. You'd just have to manage.

And then you almost choked on your drink, because Takashi Shirogane was walking towards you and he was grinning.

Oh, fuck. You were suddenly very aware of the fact that your hair resembled a bird's nest and your worn clothes, and of the fact that Shiro still looked handsome as ever–better, even. There was so much life in his eyes, your chest grew warm.

"Y/N? Is that really you?"

You tried for a smile, hoping you weren't too drunk for a proper conversation yet. "In the flesh."

He pointed to a barstool next to you and raised a questioning eyebrow. You nodded. "Go ahead. I could sure use the company."

"It's really good seeing you again," Shiro said, fingering his own glass. "I thought you weren't allowed to go out on your job?"

Your insides turned to ice and you stiffened briefly, but you weren't about to ruin your–and Shiro's–night by talking about your life problems. It had been almost four years since you'd last seen him. You didn't want to bother him with it, even though you had come to the bar in the first place to mope. Right now–you were grateful for the strange twist in your fate that had led you to Shiro, and you intended to make the most out of it.

"We got the evening off. Good–good work results, and all. Like a reward."

"That's great," he smiled, casting you a soft look that had your insides melt. "In any case. It's been way too long."

"Yeah," you laughed, "the last time we properly saw each other must have been, what? Four years ago?"

"Something like that."

You took another sip of your drink to give your hands something to do and shot him a genuinely curious look. "So, what have you been up to?"

As he talked, you hung off his lips, your eyes raking across his features and drinking in every detail, every word that passed his lips, every look he threw your way and every smile that made your knees weak. Oh, how you had missed those beautiful grey eyes.

Shiro and you had been close all through high school, and during that time you had developed feelings for him–feelings that you at first had dismissed as being a silly high school crush, but had turned out to be much more complicated than that and had cost you many a sleepless night.

The contact between the two of you had somewhat broken off after you'd graduated. Most of it was through texting, the occasional phone call or video chat here and there–just talks about the silliest things, sometimes until deep into the night, and you wouldn't have traded them for the world.

And then you'd gotten your job at G. Empire Laboratories, and you'd had to say a very abrupt goodbye to the life you knew.

Shiro had understood–he knew how long you'd been waiting for the green light on this job and how anxious you had been, and he'd been nothing but supportive, even though he'd admitted that it did hurt, knowing that he wasn't going to be seeing you for a good while.

And that had been the last you'd heard of him. It stung, of course–but you found that you couldn't blame him, as much as you maybe wanted to.

And besides, you were seeing him now, right? The two of you seemed to get along better than ever. The only thing was that those feelings, those damned feelings were coming back in full force and you had to struggle to keep a straight face, keep those emotions down and not let Shiro know what exactly seeing him again was doing to you.

He worked at the Galaxy Garrison, now. Pilot. Teacher. You smiled, recalling how he'd use to talk your ears off about the Garrison, how his face would light up a and how he seemed to be living towards the day he would finally get accepted–which he did, calling you up in the middle of the night to scream in your tired ears that he'd got in, Y/N, he'd done it.

You had been seventeen back then. Shiro had applied a year early and his senior year had been about the Garrison, and he'd often tell you how much he just wanted to go now. But he still had to graduate, which he did as an honour student, and he'd dragged you along to the end of the year ceremony, even though you had made it very clear you had made no plans to attend.

I'm spending my last day in this hellhole with my best friend, he'd said matter-of-factly, and you'd rolled your eyes, unable to hold back a smile of your own.

Neither of you were the same, now. Both of you had changed, experienced new things, grown up. Still young, yet feeling so, so old.

Then how come you felt so much lighter, so much livelier whenever Shiro looked at you?

"I missed you," you blurted, no doubt a side effect of the alcohol currently coursing through your veins–you usually knew when to hold your tongue. Zarkon had made sure to teach you. "I missed–this. Us."

Shiro reached over, taking your hand and entwining his fingers with yours as if to make sure you wouldn't disappear. "Me too." His smile lighted a fire in your chest. You'd almost forgotten what it felt like.

––

You woke with a strange feeling of contentment. Safety. Warmth.

Then you registered the arms wrapped around you and you sucked in a breath through your teeth, feeling your muscles tense up, and the events of the night before crashed into you with full force, leaving you squeezing your eyes shut and bunching your hands in the sheets draped over your form.

Shiro was still fast asleep beside you, his chest rising and falling steadily and you felt his warm breath wash over the skin of your neck every time he exhaled, making goosebumps appear all over your bare arms.

You wore a shirt that wasn't yours, the fabric falling to well over your hips. Taking a deep breath, you felt sickness arise in your throat–you'd have one hell of a hangover. You had been positively drunk the previous night.

Not drunk enough for you to forget what had happened, apparently. Not entirely. It was muddy, but the memories were there–the crash of his lips on yours, the cab Shiro had hauled to bring the two of you back to his apartment, the way he'd run his hands over your skin almost desperately. You scanned the floor, careful not to move and wake Shiro, and sure enough, there were the lumps you vaguely recognised as your jeans and dirty t-shirt, your jacket no doubt discarded somewhere on the floor in the hallway.

You closed your eyes again, willing the tears back and drawing a shaky breath. Right.

You had done something absolutely, completely, incredibly stupid, and you would pay for it one way or another.

So you bit your tongue and slipped slowly, cautiously, out of Shiro's embrace, careful not to wake him and hating the way your body immediately yearned for his touch as soon as you'd left it. You hated, hated, hated it.

You could just slip back into bed, go back to sleep and pretend everything was fine when you woke up again. Deal with this in the morning. You could just... see where this lead you. But you pushed the thought–strange, irrational thought–back in its place immediately, snatching up your clothes and working yourself out of the shirt you wore, sucking in a breath through gritted teeth when you caught a whiff of Shiro's cologne lingering on the fabric.

Bag, phone, wallet. You had everything. Slipping into your shoes, not bothering to tie the laces, you carefully lowered the door handle and flinched at the slight creak before stepping outside, leaving the door ajar and swiftly making your way down the stairs. Checking the time on your phone, you bit back a curse–it was 3.46 A.M, surely way too early for you to knock on the Holts' door. You'd have to wait.

As you opened the front door to Shiro's apartment and slung your bag over your shoulder, you let the first tear fall.

You were glad for the little coffee shop's 24-hour policy, and you sniffed as you stirred your latte listlessly, your chin resting in your hand. The scent of coffee and bright neon lights had somewhat woken you up but did nothing to lessen the headache that was gradually building up in the far back side of your skull and you asked a waitress for an aspirin. She gave you a pitying look and asked, "Rough night?"

"Something like that," you muttered, keeping your gaze firm on the plastic green stirrer as your fingers fiddled with it. She gave you a sympathetic smile and assured you the aspirin would come right up. You'd have to keep this address in mind; a place where a 24-hour policy actually meant 24 hours. You had a feeling this would be the first of many middle-of-the-night trips.

Your brain was too muddy, too tired to think about what you'd do when you finally did get to the Holt's. What you'd tell them, what you wouldn't tell them. You didn't know, and you were too confused and your mind was too murky for you to care. You sipped your coffee, wincing slightly at the heat of it burning on your tongue.

The doorbell chimed. You cringed, for just a second thinking that it was Shiro who'd woken up and come after you--but the guy taking a seat at the bar beside you was greeted by the waitress with a "Hey, Kyle." Kyle responded with a wave and a whispered greeting, and you felt your body deflate, the tension leaking from your shoulders. You ran a hand over your face, squeezing your eyes shut, and downed the last of your coffee, leaving a couple of coins on the shiny wood and muttering that they could keep the change.

It was dark out, but the streetlights were on and a big city like yours never truly slept. The night air was chilly and bit at your skin, the wind rippling through your clothes and you buried your hands in the pockets of your denim jacket, ducking your head down and staring at your feet, wandering around aimlessly for a while before you sank down on a bench. You took out your phone. Half past four A.M. Still a couple of hours to kill, then.

You thumbed through WhatsApp, checking your messages when you came across Matt's icon and you raised a brow. Online, the small grey script beneath his profile picture stated. You bit your lip, debating whether to send him a message–he might not even reply, for all you knew. Maybe he wasn't even in town. You decided to take your chances and shot him a quick message.

You: hey. you up?

To your surprise, you received a reply almost immediately.

Matt: yeah

Matt: why?

Matt: you okay?

You pointedly ignored the last question.

You: why the fuck are you up at half 4 AM???

Matt: i'm a college student, Y/N.

You: that's fair

It was silent for a bit, then the little speech bubble filled with three dots appeared again, signalling Matt was typing something.

Matt: why are YOU up at half 4 AM?

You pulled a face as you tapped out a reply.

You: hahahaha

You: funny story, actually

You: i kinda got fired from my job and lost my license

You waited anxiously for his response, biting your nails.

Matt: ...

Matt: wait

Matt: are you for real

Matt: did you seriously get fired

You: *jazz hands emoji*

You: surprise

Matt: but didn't you live there and shit???

Matt: where are you staying??

Matt: wait

Matt: where are u right now??

You gave a humourless chuckle, bringing your knees up to your chest and squinting at your phone's screen, imagining Matt curse softly and run his hands through his hair the way he used to do when he got upset.

You: well, right now i'm on a bench. somewhere. in a park? idk

You: as for where i'm staying... i was actually kinda hoping i could crash at yours for a little while?

You: just as i get my life back on track a bit

Matt: yes of course

Matt: i'll ask mum and dad but it should be no problem

Matt: u can use the guest room

You: thanks man

You heaved a sigh, leaning back on your bench and closing your eyes. You wondered when the sun would come up, and if you should start heading towards the Holt's house. Your phone vibrated with another text.

Matt: shit, Y/N.

You: yeah, that pretty much sums it up

After some texting back and forth, Matt told you to get to their house as soon as you could–you could haul a cab, take the underground. Whatever brought you where you needed to go the quickest. Matt would stay up to let you in and let his parents know that you were coming. If you'd just give a call when you were on your way?

You ended up taking the underground, the guy in the ticket booth casting you an irritated look when you cleared your throat, pointedly clapping his book shut before saying in a tired voice, "How can I help you?". He looked like he would rather be doing literally anything else than helping you.

Half an hour later you knocked on the Holt's door and only had to wait a few moments before footsteps came barging down the hallway and the door was thrown open. A dishevelled Matt stood in the doorway, his expression a concerned frown, and you raised a hand in a weak wave.

"Hey, man. It's been a while." You tried for a smile, but you were exhausted, and frankly, on the brink of tears. What you needed were a good long shower and some sleep. Matt seemed to catch onto it, and he beckoned for you to come inside, quietly shutting the door behind you.

The lights weren't on. Of course they weren't; it was still early, way too early to flick on all the lights and potentially wake all the other residents of the house. So Matt guided you to the kitchen, where a mug of tea was waiting for you and you cast him a grateful smile as you picked it up and curled your fingers around it, finally crashing on a chair and allowing yourself to relax.

"Thought you might want something warm to drink," Matt whispered, taking a seat in front of you. "For how long had you been outside?"

You hesitated, the edge of the cup almost grazing your lips. You knew you weren't ready to admit to Matt where you'd spent the first part of your night. "Since about three. I was–I was in a bar. Got drunk. Stayed there until I got kicked out." You sniffed, taking a sip. "Not a very glorious night for me, I'm afraid."

Matt sighed, running a hand down his face. As you eyed him from behind your teacup, you noticed the shagginess of his hair and the big bags under his eyes, the paleness of his skin. He looked about as exhausted as you felt. I'm a college student, Y/N. Right.

"Y/N?"

You turned to see Sam and Colleen Holt in the kitchen doorway, both dressed in bathrobes but looking a lot more awake than you felt. A tired smile made its way onto your lips--no matter how exhausted you were, the mere sight of them always was enough to make you smile. You stood, walking up to them and leaning your head on Colleen's shoulder, the way you used to do back when you'd spend half your life at the Holt's and you needed a hug. It seemed Colleen hadn't forgotten about them either, as she sighed and wrapped her arms around you, tugging you into her chest and stroking your hair. Silent tears rolled onto your cheeks.

"Oh, love..."

Sam patted you on the shoulder, and you blindly reached for him, yanking him down and hugging him too. "I missed you guys so, so much," you whispered into their shoulders, voice shaky with sobs. Colleen pulled back, her own eyes shiny with tears, her thumb stroking away the wetness the tears had left on your cheeks. She tugged off your denim jacket and told you to get changed, she'd wash your clothes for you. There was a pair of pyjamas in the guest room. You thanked her and Sam, shooting one more weak grin Matt's way before dragging yourself up the stairs, changing into the pyjamas–not bothering to fold your other clothes, instead dumping them in a heap on the floor–and crashing on the bed. You were out before your head even touched the pillow.

The next morning, you woke with a start and a screaming girl launching herself onto your bed. She crashed into you, yelling incoherent things in your ears and wrapping her arms around your neck in an embrace that left you almost gasping for air and repeatedly slapping her arm while telling her to Let go! Let go, you weirdo!

She sat back on your legs, a huge grin adorning her face, and you shot her a murderous look as you pushed yourself up, your hair a mess and falling into your face and your pyjamas crooked from the early-morning attack you'd just suffered. "Jesus Christ, Pidge. Is that how you usually wake up your guests? By literally choking them to death?"

Pidge's grin widened. "Not usually, no. But you're not usually said guest."

"Touché."

"Anyway," she pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on them, "what brings you here? I mean, what about your job? I thought you weren't allowed to go out and see people and stuff?"

Your face fell slightly. "Matt... Matt didn't tell you?"

Frowning, Pidge straightened and said cautiously, "I didn't give him a chance to say anything. I got so excited when he said you were here..." Her eyes filled with worry. "Why? Is something wrong?"

You were suddenly very interested in the quilt covering your legs, and you picked at a loose thread. "I got fired, Pidge," you muttered at last, refusing to meet her eyes.

"Wait–what? Why?" Her jaw had dropped.

You pulled a face. Zarkon hadn't exactly given you an actual proper reason as to why you got fired, unless "giving him trouble" was one. Which you highly doubted, but you weren't about to tell him that. You hadn't even tried to protest, his icy stare numbing paralyzing your limbs and all you had done was stare at him until he'd impatiently waved you out of his office.

You hadn't even gotten to say goodbye to your friends– or to Lotor. Security had already taken care of collecting your stuff–the backpack you currently carried with you and counted exactly one spare shirt, one old pocket watch that had belonged to your father, your phone, and two books. Two and a half seconds later, you stood outside the Empire gates, shaken, about one minor inconvenience away from breaking down into sobs, unemployed and licenseless.

You shrugged. "I guess... I wasn't good enough for him–them anymore."

Pidge pursed her lips, her eyes stormy and her mind racing a million miles an hour. "That makes no sense. You're brilliant."

"Well, not to them, apparently. Not brilliant enough, at least," you snapped, the words stinging more than you meant them to. "Sorry."

"No, it's okay." Pidge hugged you again. "Well, your boss is a dick. I'd beat them up if I could."

"Oh, lord, please don't," you laughed, swatting her away, but apparently she'd succeeded in her mission to make you feel better because she pulled you into one more hug and then bounded for the door.

"Get into the shower. You smell. Breakfast's in half an hour."

"Wow. All right."

– – –

"So... what are you going to do now?" Colleen asked, leaning back in her chair and sizing you up with a critical gaze. You liked how she did that–immediately went to the subject that danced around in everyone's minds, without tiptoeing around it or treating you like you were something fragile and made out of glass. You brushed the crumbs off your hands, munching the last of your eggs thoughtfully.

"Honestly," you swallowed, "I'm not really sure. I'm going to try and find a job as soon as possible, like at a café or restaurant or something. Hell, I'd take a cashier job right now. Anything that makes me money, because that's something I sorely need."

"How much do you have saved up?" Matt asked over his own breakfast.

"Not much. I've never needed to–most Empire employees work there until they retire. Once you've been accepted, nobody would think of quitting. I mean, it's Empire. And there's little you can do to get fired–" You flinched, your hands balling themselves to fists at your sides. Coughing, you folded your arms to hide them, flexing your fingers a few times. "Besides, the paycheck isn't as high as you might believe."

But that wasn't the complete truth.

Galra Empire Labs–the dream for every respected scientist, researcher, engineer. Having a job there was the pinnacle of achievement. You'd thought so too, once upon a time–back when you were innocent and full of dreams and hopes for your future. Yet you knew how secretly fucked up the whole company was.

Employees weren't allowed to do basically anything outside of work, and certainly not without the leading board knowing. Haggar, a terrifyingly intelligent scientist and Zarkon's second in command, somehow always knew where everyone was and what they were doing. You knew that the dorms were bugged, and harboured secret cameras, though you hadn't ever been able to do anything about it because Haggar would know, and if Haggar knew, Zarkon knew, and the one thing you wanted to avoid at all costs was Zarkon knowing.

Employees were granted absolutely no freedom. Breakfast was between six and seven A.M, lunch between noon and one P.M, dinner between six and seven P.M, curfew at ten thirty P.M. Everyone worked from seven to six, one half hour break in the mornings and the afternoons, the working conditions mediocre at best even though the company was able to afford the most expensive equipment. You'd grown up more quickly in your first week working at Empire than you had in your entire life.

The only reason you'd lasted as long as you did was Lotor, probably.

While he was a biochemist and you were an engineer, you shared a room, and spent every moment that you weren't confined to your respective labs together. Grown close, developed an alliance that blossomed into friendship. You and he hadn't talked that much, knowing that every word you said was probably recorded, and the last thing either of you wanted was for Zarkon to find out and separate you. So you kept silent, communicating almost solely through looks and sometimes holding hands, just because you craved the physical contact.

But even with him to keep you company, you got lonely–and it would be a lie to claim you weren't the tiniest bit relieved to be out of G. Empire Labs.

"But–I don't know. I'll figure it out."

Colleen rested a hand on yours. "And we'll help you with it, all the way through."

– –

You had to be honest–if someone had asked you five years ago where you'd be seeing yourself in five years' time, your answer would certainly not have been "working as a coffee-shop barista for minimum wage". Not that there was anything wrong with working as a coffee-shop barista for a minimum wage, you just had never expected to end up here, especially after having a job at Empire.

But here you were, taking customers' orders and scribbling their names on paper cups before passing them over to your co-worker Lance, who was in charge of actually making the drinks. Lance was nice. You liked him. Maybe he was a bit too loud and overbearing for your taste, but at least days at work with him were never dull. He had a good music taste as well, and in no time you were tapping your feet to the beat and humming along with the lyrics.

You handed him another cup and he frowned. "Satan? For real?"

Sniffing, you whipped out a new sharpie–the other one was starting to dry out–and doodled a little flower next to the name Juliet, winking at the little girl standing in front of the bar and flashing you a toothed grin. "What can I say. Some people never really grow out of it, and I don't think we have a right to judge."

"You have obviously never worked as a barista before. All we do is judge. We're judgemental motherfuckers."

"Oh, but I judge. I just judge you. There's so much to judge."

"Fuck off, Y/N."

"Just make the damn coffee, boy," you chuckled, spinning on your heel to lightly whack him on the head.

He squinted at you, finished making his drink and called out cheerfully, "Satan!"

When Satan had come up and retrieved his drink, giggling under her breath, Lance planted a hand on his hip and pointed the other at your face. "You've been here for, like, a week and a half, and you're already starting to take command of this place and I don't like it very much. Step down a notch."

"Excuse you? I'm the one keeping this place running and making sure you keep your job," you laughed, poking your sharpie in his chest. "Dork. Get back to work, we have customers waiting."

Lance turned around, mocking your words in a high-pitched voice and a fair amount of hand gestures, his eyes wide and sarcasm dripping from his expression.

"Hang on–Y/N?"

You whipped around, your heart leaping in your throat because you knew that voice. Your eyes widened when you saw him. "Keith." Shiro's adopted brother.

His eyes shone with confusion and he frowned. "Wait. Aren't you supposed to be an engineer?"

"Yes. I still–I'm still an engineer. Can we, uhh..." Your fingers already fumbled with the straps of your apron and you said, "I'm taking my break," not waiting for Lance's answer to slip out from behind the counter and grab Keith's wrist, leading him outside.

"Hold on a second. Does Shiro know you're here?" Keith asked, hoisting his bag up on his shoulders and pursing his lips at your choice of location–maybe a small alley wasn't ideal, but the last thing you wanted was being noticed. A small alley was, at least, inconspicuous.

"No." Keith's frown deepened and he opened his mouth, but you cut him off before he could say anything. "And I'd like to keep it that way," you added through gritted teeth, hugging your arms to your chest.

"Wait–why? Did anything happen between you two?" Keith looked genuinely confused and you understood why. It was a weird thing to want, for your best friend not to know you're back in town after not having seen each other for years.

You heaved a pained sigh. "No. It's just... I got fired from my job, and I lost my license, and I don't want Shiro to know. Yet," you added when Keith raised an eyebrow at you. "Not yet."

"Why?" Keith asked, a puzzled look on his face as if he couldn't figure out for the life of him why you wouldn't want Shiro to know.

"Because–it's a lot to process, okay? I got fired a month ago and I lost everything. I stay at the Holts' because I don't have enough money to get an apartment of my own. I work as a damn barista because I can't get a job as an engineer anywhere because I lost my license."

"Hang on a sec. Why's that?" A sharp glint appeared in Keith's eyes.

Another sigh made its way past your lips. "My old boss–Zarkon–he made sure of it. Listen, there aren't a lot of people who get fired from Empire. When they do, it's hard to get a job anywhere, because when you get hired you basically turn your entire self over to the company, right? And when you get fired, you lose your license as an engineer or biochemist or whatever," you mumbled, fiddling with the hem of your shirt and shifting your weight from one leg to another.

"And you don't want Shiro to know because..."

You threw your hands in the air. "Is it so hard to do this one thing for me, Keith? I'll tell him. I promise! Eventually. Just... not yet." You didn't tell him that another reason why you didn't want to see him just yet was that you weren't really in the mood for the conversation that would inevitably follow.

Keith put a hand on his hip, narrowing his eyes at you. "Fine. You get two weeks. Then I'll tell him, because he'll kill me if I don't." He stuck out his hand. "Deal?"

"Fine," you grumbled, and shook his hand.

The two of you exchanged phone numbers, and then you were back behind the counter and taking his order, purposely misspelling his name on the cup. He cast you an unimpressed look when he finally took the drink, flipping you the bird as he made his way out of the shop. You responded with a blown kiss and a wave of your own, ignoring Lance's pointed look.

"How do you know Keith?" he asked over the sound of the coffee machine. "I've never heard him talk about you."

"I was good friends with his brother for a while," you said vaguely, ducking your head down and trying to stop your hand from trembling. The name you were writing–Janet–came out looking more like Jenit. "So we were bound to see each other often."

"No way. You were friends with Shiro?"

You spun on your heel, narrowing your eyes at the incredulous tone Lance's voice had taken on. "Yes. We've known each other since we were about ten." You paused. "That surprise you?"

"I mean–I guess. A bit. He's never talked about you before, and, well... I guess I didn't peg you the type."

"Do I have to be a certain type to be friends with Shiro?" You tried not to let your voice sound too defensive.

"No! That's not what I meant! It's just... most of his friends are from work, and you work–well, here." Lance's face had grown bright red. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you–"

"No, it's fine," you muttered, ripping the cap off a new Sharpie with more force than necessary. "It was a while ago, anyway. Haven't seen him in years."

"I'm sorry, Y/N."

"Lance. Drop it."

You heard him sigh behind you. "All right."

As you took people's orders, a fake smile stretched across your face, you tried not to linger too much on Lance's words. He's never talked about you before. You set your jaw. I didn't peg you the type. It's been four years, you reminded yourself. Don't let it get to you. Besides, you'll see him again soon. Relax.

Yeah, you thought bitterly. Just relax.

– – –

You were draped on your bed, your phone on your chest, staring at the ceiling with a frown on your face when Matt knocked on the door. "Yo. Can I come in?"

You sniffed. "Sure."

He plopped down on the edge of your bed, pulling his feet up and sitting cross-legged. "Are you okay, Y/N? You've been in a nasty mood for days now."

"I'm fine," you snapped, but flinched as soon as you said it because you knew it was a lie. "Sorry. I'm just–a bit tense, is all." Your two-week deadline was approaching with a speed you did not like at all. You had two days left to make the call, and Keith was reminding you of it every half hour. He was getting impatient.

"Shiro's been sulking in his room for days. It's really starting to piss me off. He could use some good news," he'd said last time you were on the phone with him.

"So now getting fired and losing my license is good news?" you'd bit back.

"Maybe not that specific part," he'd admitted. "But you're back in town! That should be enough to cheer him up at least a little bit. I haven't seen him like this since you left for Empire." He'd chuckled. "Ironic."

Matt shot you an unimpressed look. "Right."

Suddenly you were overcome with an urge to tell him everything. It was eating at you. You didn't know what to do. You didn't want to confront Shiro just yet–but you also didn't want him to hear it from someone else; in this case, Keith. "Hey, can you close the door?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Why? Should I be worried?"

Rolling your eyes, you pushed him off the bed with your feet. "Just do it, moron."

He did it, then sat back down and crossed his arms. "What?"

You pursed your lips, trying to gauge what the best way to tell him would be. "I lied to you."

His eyebrow crept further into his hairline. "... Okay. And?"

"When I showed up on your doorstep. When I texted you. I hadn't been on the streets the whole evening." You grimaced, slapping your hands onto your face. "I slept with Shiro," you mumbled through your fingers.

"What?"

"I know, I know, stupid–"

"No, that's not–you slept with him." Matt ran a hand down his face.

"Yes."

"In his apartment?"

"Yes."

"Then why did you–" his eyes widened and he covered his mouth with his hand. "Y/N, tell me you didn't run off at 3 A.M. without Shiro knowing."

When you stayed silent, Matt whacked your leg. "Oh my god, you absolute moron! Why would you do that?"

"I was drunk! So was he! And I'd just gotten fired from my job, I wasn't thinking straight! What if it ruined our friendship, Matt? Hell, it would have. We hadn't seen or spoken to each other in years, and the first thing we do when we're reunited is have sex. How could I possibly face him after that?"

Matt opened his mouth, but you sat up and threw your hands in the air. "He doesn't know I got fired from Empire. And Keith's gonna tell him in two days that I'm here unless I do it but I'm not ready yet, but I also don't want him to hear it from someone else because he's still my best friend and I know how much it'd hurt him, but I just don't really know what to do." You let yourself fall back onto the mattress and flung an arm across your face.

"Wow. What a mess."

"No shit," you said, your voice muffled by your arm. There was a pause and the bedsheets ruffled as Matt shifted on the mattress.

"You know what you gotta do, right?"

"Move to Alaska and go into hiding?" you suggested half-heartedly, curling into yourself.

"No," said Matt pointedly, snatching up your phone and chucking it at your face–you only barely managed to catch it–ignoring your startled Hey! "You gotta call him. Now."

"Now?" You sounded like a whiny child throwing a temper tantrum.

"Yes. Now." You pouted, but his expression didn't change. "Go on."

You mumbled curses under your breath as you tapped your phone's screen, pulling up Shiro's phone number and staring at it for a solid minute before shifting your gaze back to Matt. "So, about Alaska–"

"Jesus, Y/N," he said, plucking your phone from your hands and pressing the call button. Your eyes widened and you grabbed it back, silently panicking and whisper-fighting with Matt, including phrases like "Oh my god, I'll kill you", "I'd like to see you try, bitch", "You are evil. Evil" and "I did you a fucking favour" until you heard a click and Shiro's voice saying, "Hello?"

Matt got up with a grin and blew you a kiss before skipping out of your room. You flipped him off.

"Hello?" came Shiro's voice again, slightly irritated.

"Yes, hi, Shiro, it's me," you quickly answered, switching your phone to your other ear and jumping up, not quite sure what to do with your hands. "It's Y/N."

"Y/N, hey," he said, surprise clear in his voice and despite everything, you smiled, because your heart still couldn't behave normally whenever you spoke with him. "How've you been?" he asked quietly.

"I've–you know–been," you said with a laugh, reaching up with one hand to rub the back of your neck. "But, um, I was actually wondering–could we meet up soon? I'd like to talk to you, and I'd rather do it in person. I'm fine, don't worry," you added quickly, knowing what he was thinking, "but there's a lot to talk about. Last time–" you cringed, internally screaming curses at yourself and resisting the urge to eat your phone like a potato crisp. "Anyway." You thought you did a pretty decent job keeping your voice level. "Meet up?"

"All right," Shiro said after a pause. "Sure. Say when and where."

The little bakery gave off a quiet air of peace and calm. The scent of fresh bread and sweet pastries relaxed you and you ordered a cup of tea at the counter. You were early, you knew, but your nerves hadn't let themselves be tamed this morning and Matt had gotten so irritated with you that he'd kicked you out.

You'd only just started sipping your tea when the bell above the doorway rang, and Shiro walked in. His eyes widened when he spotted you and he made a beeline for your table, carefully taking a seat in front of you. "And here I thought I was early."

You gave him a sheepish smile in return. It was silent for a moment, and you'd be lying if you said that you didn't feel the tension crackling in the air. But if it was good or bad tension... that, you weren't sure of yet.

"So, you wanted to talk?" he finally said, and you fiddled with your fingers, trying to avoid looking him in the eye and thinking about how to best start.

"Yeah. First, though, I figure I owe you an apology." He pulled up an eyebrow and you pursed your lips, sagging in your seat. "You know what for," you said quietly.

He rubbed the back of his neck, his cheeks tinted slightly pink. "But that's not what you wanted to talk about."

"No." You bit the inside of your cheek. "I've been back in town for over a month. Since that very night, actually. And I didn't tell you."

Now Shiro pulled up his other eyebrow and you pretended not to notice the hurt flashing in his eyes.

"I got fired, Shiro. From Empire."

His jaw fell. "Oh."

"Yeah." You fingered your cup listlessly, taking a deep breath and blinking back the tears forming in your eyes. Why were you crying? There was absolutely no reason why you should be crying. You'd already established that you were so much better off outside of Empire. So then why did you still feel like a failure?

"Hey," Shiro said, frowning and grabbing your hand when the first tear fell, and you barked a laugh, wiping at your eyes. "Hey. It's not your fault."

"Probably not," you mumbled, "but it still sucks. You know what happens to fired employees?" You didn't wait for an answer. "I work as a barista now. I lost my engineering license. That's how much power and influence Empire has."

"Hold on–you lost your license? How?"

"It's in the contract, Shiro. Fine print and whatnot, that I didn't read over because I'm a moron." You sighed. "Do you ever make a choice so stupid you regret it for the rest of your life?"

He smiled faintly. "I know the feeling."

You straightened in your seat. "You do?"

He didn't elaborate and you got the feeling he wouldn't, even if you kept asking. It was silent again as he looked at you, chewing his cheek in thought. The tension in the air reached a peak. Then Shiro laughed and the tension broke. He shook his head, chuckling. "Look at the two of us. Absolute messes, ain't we?"

"I guess," you said with a laugh of your own, downing the last of your tea and decisively plopping down the mug on its saucer. "I'm sorry for not telling you."

"It's okay. I understand. I probably would have done the same thing."

"Would you have, though?" you mused, cocking your head. "Keeping secrets isn't like you."

Shiro arched an eyebrow and looked at you in a way that had you positive that had you been standing, your knees would have buckled right from underneath you. "I've got my fair share of secrets," he said quietly, his voice hoarse.

You exhaled sharply, fighting down the blush threatening to creep up your cheeks. Would you ever be able to see him–just see him–and not immediately want to plant one right on his mouth? At the rate where things were going, you didn't think so. If anything, your feelings had only intensified in the years that you hadn't seen him.

"But," he suddenly said, and he straightened, "I'm gonna need you to promise one thing."

You nodded for him to continue, wary.

Shiro smiled. "Don't ever do it again."

– – –

"Are you sure about this?" you hissed, your grip on Shiro's arm so tight you wouldn't have been surprised if you'd cut off his circulation. The white walls of the Galaxy Garrison vaguely reminded you of the ones that had encircled you at Empire, and it made you feel so very small.

People bustled around you, running this way and that, some in heated conversations on their phones, others scribbling on clipboards, even others jogging a few steps to catch up with someone before engaging in conversation with them. While the walls may have reminded you of Empire, the people within them could not have been more different.

Some of them cast you curious looks when they saw who you were accompanied by–Shiro was just shy of a legend at the Garrison, and he always seemed to walk a bit straighter and keep his chin a bit higher whenever someone told him hello or good morning, nodding and smiling in return.

"You'll be fine," he assured you easily, untangling your hands from his arm and giving them a squeeze. "I've been discussing it with Sam and Iverson for months. They've basically already hired you."

He'd first mentioned it to you a few weeks ago–you'd been casually strolling through the park when he told you that he and Sam Holt had been trying to find a way around your license suspension, maybe even getting you a job at the Garrison. You'd almost walked straight into the little lake where you always fed the ducks.

Now you were headed for an interview–the outcome of which would decide whether you'd be able to work as an engineer ever again. Shiro had faith in you, confident that you'd nail it. You weren't so sure yet, your racing mind and shaking legs proof of that.

"Right," you squeaked, trying to keep your hands from trembling. "That's supposed to calm me down? What if I'm not what they expected? They could take one look at me and promptly decide that I'm not the person for the job after all, you know."

"Relax, Y/N."

"Hm. Relax. Yes. I'm perfectly relaxed."

The rest of the walk was spent in silence, and you had to resist the urge to scoot closer to him with every step. You wanted to grab his hand. But you were a coward, so you didn't. Then Shiro halted in front of a door that said "Commander Iverson," and you felt like all the oxygen was being drained from your lungs.

"Go on. You'll do great." He nudged you towards the door.

"Hold on–wait, wait, you're not coming with me?" you stuttered, gaze flickering from him to the door.

"This is a job interview, Y/N, not a parent-teacher meeting," Shiro hissed with a grin. He briefly touched your hand, and heat seared up your arm. "You can do this, all right?"

Nodding, you flexed your fingers, bouncing on your toes. Now or never. You knocked.

The man you assumed was Iverson almost immediately opened the door, and you were immensely relieved to see Sam standing just behind him. Iverson stuck out his hand and gave you a crude smile. "Y/N L/N, right? Iverson."

You shook his hand. "Pleased to meet you."

His eyes sized you up critically and there was a spark of interest in them. He gestured towards his office. "Shall we take this conversation inside?"

Just as you stepped through the doorway, you managed to catch a glimpse of Shiro's encouraging grin and raised thumbs over your shoulder. It calmed your thumping heart, if only slightly, and as you turned back to Iverson, you felt something in your chest that you hadn't thought you'd feel in a million years–a burst of confidence.

Half an hour later you stumbled back outside, still slightly dazed from the conversation you'd just had. Your eyes were wide and you were clutching the little bundle in your arms as if your life depended on it. To your right, Shiro pushed off the wall he'd been leaning against and arched an eyebrow at you expectantly. "So? How'd it go?"

You stared at him for a moment, face lax, before you breathed a laugh and showed him the Garrison uniform in your arms. "I got the job."

The smile that lit up his face could have illuminated the dark side of the moon and before you knew it he'd wrapped his arms around your waist and lifted you off your feet, twirling you around. You yelped in surprise, your hands crashing against his shoulders to keep your balance and you laughed too. In between giggles, you told him to Put me down! Put me down, weirdo, people are looking.

Shiro obliged, though he kept his arms firmly around your waist. "Let them look."

And he looked at you, and you looked at him, and the rest of the world seemed to fall away around you. A beat of silence passed, and heat coursed through your entire body and you were positive that you were on fire at that very moment, and then Iverson opened the door to his office and grunted, "If you two could just–not do that in front of my office. Please," and you leapt out of Shiro's arms like they'd given you an electric shock.

"Right, sir, yes, sir," Shiro said–maybe a bit louder than necessary–trying to keep a straight face, even though his cheeks were the shade of an overripe tomato and he blindly reached for your hand. You took it, grateful for the anchor, and the two of you all but sprinted out of there.

The Garrison parks were nice. Way nicer than you'd expected, and Shiro guided you to a somewhat private spot underneath an oak tree, its canopy providing shade in the warm afternoon sun. He plopped down at the base of the trunk, burying his face in his hands and you joined him, pulling your knees up to your chest and resting your chin on them, gazing into the distance.

"Well. That was probably the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me."

"That's my new boss," you said dryly. "What an impression I must've made."

"Hey." Shiro shot upright, grabbing your shoulders and shaking you back and forth. "You did! You got the job! I told you!"

"Yeah," you said, fingering the smooth fabric of the white and orange uniform. "Yeah, I did."

Shiro let himself fall back on the grass and he put his hands behind his neck, closing his eyes. You watched him, the way his face relaxed in the soft sunlight filtering through the tree's canopy, one cheek pressed against your knees. He cracked open an eye. "I have a question."

"Shoot."

"Why'd you leave that night?"

Your cheeks and neck heated up and you shot upright. "What?"

He sat up, crossing his legs. "You know what I mean."

You did. Somewhere, a selfish part of you had hoped he'd never bring it up and that you could just pretend it never happened in the first place, but that wasn't like him, and there had been tension between the two of you ever since that afternoon in the bakery. You figured maybe it was time to clear that up.

"I don't know," you muttered, raking your fingers through the grass beneath you. "I guess–I was confused, and my boss had just fired me, and–well–" You snuck him a glance, slightly turning away from him. "I was scared."

Shiro cocked his head. "Of what?"

You shrugged, averting your eyes and hiding your face behind your knees again. What you were about to admit felt stupid–childish, naive even–but you felt like he deserved to know the truth of what had gone on in your head that night. "I was scared that it hadn't meant as much to you as it did to me."

Shiro's eyes widened, but you didn't let him talk, feeling the sudden need to elaborate, explain yourself. "I mean–I was afraid that had I stayed, things would be awkward in the morning and it'd ruin our friendship and everything and I didn't want that, but leaving would also put me in a weird position because I'd have to explain later, and I didn't want that either, so that's also one of the reasons why I ghosted you for a month and a half, so neither options were perfect, and I probably chose the wrong one anyway but–"

"Whoa, hey, slow down," Shiro laughed, scooting over in front of you and gently tugging your arms away from in front of your face, forcing you to meet his eyes. The confusion or even annoyance you'd expected to see weren't there. He only looked at you with tenderness and affection and his gaze was warmer than ever. "I get it."

Gulping, you asked, "You do?"

He nodded with a grin. "I do. I get why you were scared because I felt the same way–have been for a long time, now."

You could only stare at him, dumbfounded.

"You mean the world to me, Y/N. You always have. I never thought we could be anything more than friends, even though I hoped it–and then graduation happened, and you got hired at Empire and I got accepted at the Garrison..." He shrugged, linking your fingers together. "And now you're back! And I know we probably shouldn't have done what we did a month ago, but I just can't find it within me to regret it even the slightest bit."

And before you knew it you were rushing forward and crashing your lips on his.

Your hands were cupping his cheeks, and his own were slowly coming up to trace your own cheeks before winding to the back of your neck and lacing through your hair, tilting your head up and closer to him. He pulled away for only a fraction of a second but you had gotten a taste and wanted it more, more, more until you drowned in it, so you chased his lips and kissed him again. You felt him smile against your lips but he finally gave in, a small sigh travelling from his mouth to yours.

And you kissed for what felt like hours, sitting underneath that big oak tree and whispering sweet nothings to each other in between pecks, fingers entwined, and your heart finally felt whole again.

#vld fic #voltron fic #vld shiro #voltron shiro #vld takashi shirogane #voltron takashi shirogane #vld shiro x reader #voltron shiro x reader #vld takashi shirogane x reader #voltron takashi shirogane x reader #shiro x reader #shiro voltron x reader #shiro vld x reader #voltron matt #vld matt holt #voltron matt holt #vld matt #vld pidge #voltron pidge

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the-old-dip-and-stir · 6 years ago

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a-z nsfw headcanons: arthur morgan

(i’ve had this in drafts for idk how long, but i saw other people posting theirs, so here we are.)

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

super cuddly. the man is a teddy bear. tons of kisses. so many sweet caresses. will definitely pamper his s/o if he can. pls pamper him too, he deserves it. it’ll be the biggest and best surprise cuz he never expects it.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

arthur’s (and his partner’s) is his hands. hands that have done tough work, killed, robbed, all kinds of things but at the end of the day they can be used for loving. he used to hate them but his partner showed him that his hands could do good things too. he likes everything about his partner, but his favorite part is their mouth. oh what wonderful things they can do to him with that mouth.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

in that lifestyle, pregnancy is the last thing he needs (for vagina bearers), so he typically likes to paint his partner with his cum. spilling on to their hand, stomach, thigh, chest, face, and into their mouth. anal however, he will cum inside, but like i said, he likes to paint. so he may spill into and on to his partner’s ass. if he’s been holding back on sex or any kind of pleasure, expect the biggest load of your life. otherwise, he cums a relatively normal amount.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

he has a collection of naughty pictures of his partner, and a secret list of things he wants to to them.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

well it’s not his first rodeo, but he also hasn’t been with very many people. he has enough experience to show someone a good time and neither go unsatisfied. he’s got a basic understanding of pleasuring someone, so you’re not gonna be blown out of the water in the first minute or so. give him some time to explore and trust me, you’ll have a good time.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

he usually likes having his partner face him to see their reactions and so he has access to their mouth. so missionary, cowgirl, or sex up against a wall or tree. mirror sex is also fun for him.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

arthur is mostly serious during sex since he likes to make sure his partner is comfortable, but he’s very capable and liable to tease. mr. morgan can be cheeky when he wants. definitely a giggler when sated

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

arthur is pretty hairy guy BUT he does try to keep the area maintained. if not for his partner, for his own personal tastes. it gets on his nerves when it gets wild.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

huge softie. biggest romantic. especially when having sex with his partner for the first time. it’s a vulnerable moment for both him and who he’s with. if you tell him that you love him or praise him, he might cry. it’s just more emotions on top of a lot of emotions. he’s nOT READY.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

he usually doesn’t unless he’s really in the mood and his s/o isn’t available. that’s where those naughty pictures come in handy (hA). if not then, sometimes he’ll put on a show for his s/o. he likes seeing them get worked up over him pleasuring himself.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

some light bondage, for sure. boah is good at tying knots. definitely a praise kink. might be down for a little roleplay. maybe a little homestead robbery turning into a fuckfest. maybe a hostage situation. he’s got a list of things he’s thought about doing, all categorized in yeses, maybes, and might be too muches.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

he likes having privacy, tbfh. sex in camp is difficult to do, especially when he knows he’s gonna get shit for it in the morning. so he may rent a room in a nearby town or just go on a long trip with his partner and have sex out in the wild.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

honestly, anything his partner does can get him going, but their mouth does things to him. licking their lips, biting their lower lip, smirking, the way their lips look wrapped around the rim of a beer bottle. he has a bit of a fixation.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

s&m. he doesn’t mind a bit of pain; maybe a smack on the ass, his s/o’s nails scratching at his back, love bites, but never wants to actually hit his partner. spanking would probably be as far as he would go. he tried smacking his s/o in the face one time during a rough sex night since they asked, he wasn’t a fan of it. he held back but the print that formed on their face still rubbed him the wrong way. so he doesn’t mind being rough with ya but he doesn’t want to push it so far that he actually hurts you, even if you like it.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

he likes both really, but is more inclined to give. if receiving, he will always give back, no if’s, ands, or buts. when giving he won’t expect anything in return. he’s doing it because he wants you to feel good. he’s fairly good at oral once he knows what you like, but if it’s the first time, he may fumble around until he gets it right, so patience!

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

it depends really, but his tried and true is a nice combination of the two. but a majority of the time it’s sensual and slow, he definitely puts the love into lovemaking. fast and rough is for those desperate, heated times. when all he wants to to do is just fuck cuz he’s horny (shocker, being in love makes him a horny bastard).

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

he doesn’t hate quickies, sometimes that’s all he has time for in the mornings before someone comes barging in and asking for something. it happens often, especially when in camp.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

he’s willing to try things. i mean, the man has a list. risk is ingrained into just about everything he does, so some risky sex isn’t off the table. of course, everything has to be consensual. he doesn’t want his s/o to be scared or uncomfortable with what their doing.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

let’s be real, arthur is pushing 40, so while his stamina may be pretty decent, he can’t go a lot of rounds. given how much he works and runs around, he can last a good bit, but don’t expect him to cum more than maybe twice. he’s not young and spry, he’s getting a little older now. cumming multiple times ain’t gonna be easy for him.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

while sex toys did exist during the late 19th century, arthur wouldn’t really have easy access to them. most sex toys at the time were purely for “medical” use at the time anyhow. butt plugs that cure constipation? yeah, okay. a modern day arthur though would love using toys, and definitely wouldn’t be against his partner using them on him. it wouldn’t anything fancy, maybe a nice dildo, a vibrator, and probably a butt plug. he likes making his partner feel good, not to mention he’s a goddamn tease.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

oh he loves drawing it out if he can. he’ll even do little things throughout the day to drive his s/o crazy. he loves it even more when they do it back. it’s a fun game and ends in a very fun time as well. so much edging and dirty talk, WOOWEE.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

he’s usually very quiet, he had to learn how to be when he masturbated in camp. so it’s mostly sighs. in a private setting, he’s willing to let loose a little, but even then he’s still not very loud. it’s a lot of grunts, groans, and cursing.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

he’s really into all the sounds made from sex. he loves the sounds that come from his partner, whether he’s pleasuring them or their pleasuring themselves. the hip smacking, the wet noises, the moans. he LOVES that shit. he could get off to just that (in fact, he already has.)

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

arthur has more girth than length. length wise, he’s slightly above average. girth wise, he’ll feel like he can split you in half if not properly prepared. he’s at least over 5 inches (12.7 cm) in length (keep in mind that average is about 5.16 inches [13.12 cm]). as for girth; well my hands are kinda small, they’re probably 6 inches in length, and that’s from the heel of my palm to the tip of my middle finger. so my fingers would only touch when my nails are grown out a bit. so baby is THICC. also given the time period, he’ll most likely be uncut.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

he’s the type to be horny for someone he’s in love with, but it’s actually a pretty normal and healthy libido. he may have trouble getting it up on occasion though. drinking and depression will do that. his affection drive, however, is really high, bb likes to cuddle and hold ya hand.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

he won’t lie about being wore out after a round. he’s may not be old, but he’s definitely not as young as he used to be. arthur doesn’t get knocked out immediately, he’s mostly in a happy, sleepy state. he stays up for long as he can until he struggles to keep his eyes open. he also likes getting some kisses in after the fact so expect falling asleep while kissing.

#rdr2 #rdr #red dead redemption 2 #red dead redemption headcanons #red dead redemption #rdr headcanons #arthur morgan #arthur morgan headcanons #arthur morgan hcs #arthur morgan x reader

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franeridart · 7 years ago

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Hi! Idk if you read fanfic, but would you happen to have any kiribaku fic recs? Or any bnha fic rec?

I’m pretty sure there’s stuff tagged as fic recs on this blog, yes! Nothing particularly new tho, I haven’t had the time to put down a new rec-list in a while ;-;

Anon said:How long does it take you to finish a drawing with and without color?

That honestly depends on a lot of factors - which tools I’m using, how many characters there are in the drawing/if it’s full body or not, how used to drawing the character I am, how big is the canvas, if I already have a clear idea of what I mean to draw or not, how precise I want to be with lines and stuff.

That Yuuto sketch I posted yesterday took me about 40 minutes I think, and over half of it was spent trying to figure out how I was supposed to draw him since it was the first time I drew him - the tools I used are the ones I use when I want to be fast and don’t care about being sloppy. A small random Kirishima bust properly lined and colored could take me five minutes to sketch and line and as many to color on a good day, cause I’ve drawn him so many times by now I don’t even have to think to draw him. Deku, on the other hand, can take me an hour even just to sketch, I can’t seem to grasp how I’m supposed to draw him at all.

Sorry, it really depends on a lot of things, I can’t give a proper answer to this :(

Anon said:Ive been tryin to find ur art of sero carrying baku for like 20 minutes n i cant find it :(

Are you talking about this one? Or this one? There’s also this one I guess...? And maybe this one lol

Anon said:yoooo, hey man, that cat kiribaku thing ya got going on is some 👌👌👌👌👌

HECK THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Has anyone ever considered Hadmie. Hadou x Camie before?? It just seems like it'd be a cute ship to sail with, tbh. That just might be me tho.

I dunno if anyone has before you, but I can’t say I have, sorry! If I gotta ship Nejire with someone after all it’s gonna be Yuyu haha

Anon said:Hey do you do commissions? I really love your art and I'd love to get a commission from you!! (and also I just wanna know if there's yet another thing that I have to save up for XD)

Not right now, sorry! Maybe after I’m done with the zine things!!

Anon said:*runs around like an excited puppy* DAVEDAVEDAVEDAVEDAVEDAVEDAVE!!!!!!! :D

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D <3<3<3

Anon said:AHHH i love your ocs so much also Nico looks so cute and i love learning new things about them

AAAHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH OH MY G O D!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:KIRI + PINEAPPLE PONYTAIL = THE BEST THING EVER

I’M GLAD WE AGREE ON THAT

Anon said:your oc's literally kill me!! i already love nico, and i think i speak for everyone when i say that we definitely want more of him and luca!! i don't know if it's just me, but I love when the angry, swearing types fall for someone.

SOB thank you so so much for the kind words about my kids ;^; <3<3

Anon said:OH MY GOD LUCA IS BACK!!!! YESSSSSSSS FUCKING KILL ME THIS IS A BLESSED DAY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. MORE OF YOUR OC'S!!! (only when you want to share of course, I'm just trying to convey my enthusiasm here. not demanding at all ^^)

I think that might happen soon enough, actually!!!! Thank you so much for the interest in them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3<3

Anon said:Are josh and chris still not dating?

Sadly until I’ll sit down to write their story that specific part of it won’t go anywhere :( Chris gotta deal with a bunch of things before he’ll be ready to put a name to what’s between him and Josh 3 one day I’ll let him work through it !!!

Anon said:I'm so paranoid I'm going to repost one of your post by accident but the thing is is I never even repost anything at all but just because I know you don't want them to be I'm so scared that by accident I'm going to have something screenshotted and forget it's yours and like Ugh😂

Well, my name’s written on all my drawing so I doubt you’ll forget it’s my stuff lol to make sure you’re not reposting anything the author doesn’t want reposted you can always just ask before reposting it, tho~

Anon said:I was just scrolling through your OC stuff and I just. Love them so much. Thank you for the babies ❤

GOD THANK YOU ;O; <3<3

Anon said:Okay I've never seen your oc's before and Dave is the cutest green boy I love him

AAAAHHHHHH I’M GLAD!!!!!

Anon said:kamijirou getting together? :3 also if there were ever a scenario where jirou would confess first, what do you think she would be thinking?

I actually have half a thing planned for that :0 gimme a while to get around to drawing it!

Anon said:How do you feel imagine kiri’s parents???

Actually since I’m still hoping one day Hori will give us the official versions I try not to think too much about it! I don’t wanna grow attached just to have to give them up once I’ll have the canon versions haha

Anon said:hey quick innocent question ive been following for a long time and saw a lot of your art do you have a thing for feet

Are you asking because I draw a lot of people barefoot? Feet are just easier and faster to draw than shoes, anon

Anon said:I love how you answer asks all at once. It’s nice to see that you’re getting in bulk appreciation

THANKS I honestly just don’t want my blog to be more asks than art, so I let them pile up before answering - it does mean I make people wait a lot for answers tho orz sorry

Anon said:I LOVE YOUR ART

THANK YOU!!!!

Anon said:You've open a sea of possibilities with red pineapple kirishima. You're a legend :prayeremoji:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wouldn’t call myself that but I’m glad you appreciate him too hahaha

Anon said:i cant help but notice nothings been added to your sero tag in 4 months

That might be because I rarely use single characters tags! Try looking under #bakusquad and #seromina :D

Anon said:Hahaaa hi this is probably really really awkward but I just wanted you to let you know that you're super awesome!! And the fact that your art is something that I can look forward to is absolutely amazing (no pressure tho)!!! So yea, thank you for being cool and creating beautiful art~~ :D ✧✧✧

SOB it’s not awkward at all!!!! thank you SO MUCH!!!!!!!!! <3<3<3

Anon said:Would you mind adding some more Tokoyami art to your shop? More specifically the pieces where hes hanging out with Kiri, and the Tokoshoji piece :D Im desperate to bury my notebooks in stickers from your shop rn and the bird boy needs more love ❤

AHW I’m sorry anon, but those are definitely too small to be of any use on the shop ;-; if you’re okay with it I could add the last one I posted? I should seriously draw more of him..................

Anon said:That jacket that Kirishima has on...I NEED!

I drew it and that’s still a mood t b h

Anon said:I went so far back in your blog that it kicked me back to the beginning ;-; I was just getting to the D. Greyman stuff too

AW ;-; (..........it’s good tho, the further you go the least worth it my stuff is l m a o)

Anon said:Do you ever draw kiribaku or something else in paper or some kind of sketch book if you do i would love to see them❤(sorry if my english is bad)

I do have some doodles on paper posted on here somewhere? But tbh I rarely draw traditionally anymore unless it’s just random doodles :(

Anon said:Aahhh!!! I really love your kiribaku shit its so cute!!and you draw so goood too literally when i found this ship i instantly found you and you are so perfect in my eyes and your art!!!!! I looooooovvvvvvveeeeee yoooouuuuuu thank you for being here and showing us this stuff!!❤❤❤❤

HECK thank you!!!!!!!!!!! <3<3<3

Anon said:i adore your art so much and your bakushima comics make me smile a lot! :) you’re one of my favorite artists now dldksjshskdk

tHANK YOU OH MY G OD ;^;

Anon said:Consider this: fantasy Kirishima meeting normal bakugou, thinking that's his Katsuki 😂😂

.........................you literally got no clue how long I’ve been thinkin about drawing this............ he ck

Anon said:Your drawings give me life 😍❤️

sob thank you so so so much ;-; <3<3

#fran answers #in other news ive drawn more seros carrying bakugous than i expected #HM #anonymous

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago

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Survey #299

“you look so beautiful tonight / reminds me how you laid us down and gently smiled before you destroyed my life.”

Ever done any drugs? Besides alcohol, no. How many people have you kissed? Three or four. What’s your favorite show to binge? I could only ever willingly *binge* Meerkat Manor and not get bored after like, two episodes. Do you watch porn? No, it's never appealed to me. What’s one of your fantasies? Being financially stable. :^) Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced? I've lightly considered getting one, but I really doubt I ever will. What’s the most overrated movie? /shrug. Let people like what they like. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message. I'd love to get to know my Facebook acquaintance Courtlynn better; I've wanted to for a long time. I think we could be fantastic friends. We'll like each other's stuff regularly and occasionally leave comments, but we don't really talk. Do you like paper books or ebooks better? Paper ones, by a long shot. I just really like the feeling of a book and being able to clearly see how far in you are. I enjoy the smell and sound of turning pages. If you could live in a fictional world, what world would you pick? Probably Wonderland, realistically. I would say Azeroth, but too much world-threatening shit goes on every day lol. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like? G O T H Do you still have feelings for any of your exes? Yep. Do you drink? Very, very rarely. Almost exclusively during celebrations or on the once in a blue moon occasion we go to a sit-down restaurant. Do you read erotica? No. It would make me super uncomfortable. What color was the last candle you lit? I don't remember at all. Do you own a treadmill? No, but I want one. Have you ever signed up for a gym membership? Well, not exactly me. Mom and Nicole both had memberships to Planet Fitness, and I was able to come as a guest. It was just cheaper that way. What color was the last fish you had? That I owned or ate? Either way, idr. Is there a garbage can in your room? What color is it? No. If you play The Sims, do you download custom clothes, hair, etc? I don't play it. Does your animal sleep with you? Roman does, yes. He legitimately spoons with me lmao. Sometimes he'll move to the bottom of the bed, other times he'll sleep through most of the night there. Have you ever had to wear a hairnet? Yes. What is your favorite song to play on Guitar Hero or Rock Band? "Hotel California" by The Eagles on expert is so much fun and just feels good. The ending solo is just great. When you drink chocolate milk do you just buy the jug of it or the syrup that you can put into the milk? Almost always just the chocolate syrup. Do you own a robe? What color is it? No. What’s the worst abuse you have done to your phone? I know I've thrown it across the room once. Well, not my current phone, but a really old one. How did you meet your first love? High school. Well, you could maybe say Facebook. He sent me a friend request and I literally only accepted it because I thought it was another Jason. We talked via messenger some and then we ran into each other at school, and tbh I kinda knew I was fucked from there lmao. Have you ever worn the opposite sex’s underwear? I don't believe so, no. Have you ever kissed in a pool? Yeah. Are there any hobbies you have that you don’t perform in front of others? I absolutely cannot write in front of others, and I HATE drawing when people are watching. What do you do when you simply don’t know what to do? Odds are I'll probably be scraping the bottom of the barrel to find something in WoW that sounds even remotely fun, or I'll browse Facebook. How did you find out about your current favorite band? He's one of my mom's favorite singers/bands, so I grew up with some of his music, and when I was getting into rock and metal, I decided to go through her music case and listen to some of it. Ozzy's Black Rain album set the adoration into motion. Where are you most likely to go when you need clothing? The Internet or Wal-Mart, depending on what kind of clothes I need. When was the last time you tried to do something yet failed? I should have an answer for this very quickly... yet I'm unsure. I don't think anything *major* has happened in a while. Oh, this is a tiny thing, but I did look really hard for the pencil sharpener so my niece could finish coloring her drawing, but I couldn't find the damn thing for anything. Do you think your life is comprised more of success or failure? Lots and lots of failure. What’s one personality trait that’s not strong in you? Uhhh outgoing, ig. Are you a difficult individual to get to know? Considering I hide a lot about myself to try and be accepted, yes. When was the last time you opened up to someone and about what? Literally yesterday to my mom about this unreasonably massive fear I've had lately that she doesn't have much longer in her. I'm terrified she's going to get COVID or her cancer just comes back faster than we hope. To whom do you feel the most important? My mom. Is there something you want but might not ever have? Many things. What’s something you’re working to obtain? Mental stability. Do you tend to enjoy your dreams? No, considering they're usually violent and rarely just psychotic nightmares. Are there any projects or goals you’ve recently abandoned? Hm. What in life serves to keep you going? The hope it'll get better, and I'll reach a point of actually being happy and content with my life. What was the last good news you received? Nicole's trip to Maryland to bring back a baby was successful (if that sounds weird, she's a child social worker). He has a heart condition where if his heartbeat or something like that was irregular, she'd have driven all the way up there for nothing; the baby wouldn't have been able to take the ride. Are you more inclined to appreciate sweet or savory foods? Sweet. Are romantic relationships important to you at this point in your life? I mean I'd like to be in one, but I highly doubt it'd be successful, just given where I am in life. I'd be signing up for heartbreak. Who was the last person to apologize to you for something they did? I don't know. Probably Mom for something minor, like just bumping into me or something. Are you wearing a necklace, and if so, who got it for you? No. What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve done lately? Lately? Uh. I don't know, but I can guarantee to you it wasn't long ago at all, considering breathing embarrasses me, pretty much. Do you ‘think out loud’? Sometimes. Do you take gummy vitamins? No. How do you know the majority of the people you know? Former schools. Hell, or maybe various online locations. I just might have more online friends and acquaintances than in-person. Is there a random object you own that has a huge personal significance? I've talked about my pebble from my partial hospitalization program enough. Can you play electric guitar? I used to be able to play a little bit; I took guitar lessons for a short while in high school. Best I could do was the intro to "Crazy Train," but I'd still occasionally mess up. Are you one of those people who chew two pieces of gum, not one? Usually. Do you believe in ghosts/supernatural occurrences? Yes. Without the aid of mascara, do you have long eyelashes? Yeah. Is there a kind of music you listen to that helps you release your anger? Yes, usually songs that are also angry. How does it make you feel looking at pics with your ex and someone else? The only case this has ever happened was with Jason and his gf after me. There are no words to describe the fucking hatred I felt. I haven't seen pictures of him with an s/o in a long time, and I absolutely never plan on seeking them out ever again. What song are you listening to right now? "Rest In Pieces" by Saliva. If you’re not in college, why? I couldn't handle the stress anymore. Just couldn't. Do you own a studded belt from Hot Topic? I have a good number of old ones from high school, actually. I wore them all the time. I could never fit into them now. Favorite fictional character? Um, Darkiplier, duh. Most recent thing you are looking forward to? I think it's finally set in stone that I'm getting my tattoo redone soon. Thanks to my laptop saying "ha fuck you," it's not as soon as I originally planned since I had to pay to fix it, but Mom seems fine with helping me pay for my birthday. Not a guarantee that it'll happen on that date of course, given scheduling, but yeah. It should fucking finally be happening. How many stairs can you climb before you wanna pass out? This is too embarrassing to even answer lmao. Have you ever kissed someone with braces? No. Would you ever consider adoption? I don't want kids, and even if I did, I probably wouldn't. I feel like I'd personally need the "wow this is a part of me (and/or my s/o)" connection. Do you ever go hunting/fishing? I would never go hunting, and the only occasion in which I'd fish again is if Dad asked me. I don't like the idea of fishing for fun anymore, but that's like... always been our bonding experience, and I wouldn't tell him no. Do you know anyone who plays guitar? Knew. What are you currently sitting/laying on? My bed. Who are your godparents? I don't think I have any. Do you have any friends who are famous? I have two friends who are parts of bands, but idk how successful they are. I don't think either are like, huge. Nova Mortis if you're into heavy metal and I think Toukan does rap? When was the last time you stayed at a hotel? Hm. I have no idea. What side of a heart do you draw first? Uhhhh I think the left? What is your mom saved as in your phone? "Mama Bear." Do you want your tongue pierced? I had snake eyes for a while, but I took them out because I kept chipping my teeth. I miss that piercing, it was so cute, but it wasn't worth ruining my teeth. Ever made out in a pool? It's possible very briefly, idr. Do you like to have long hair or short hair? SHORT. SHORT. SHORT. Do you change your phone background a lot? Not really. Would you get back with your last ex if you could? Yeah. Have you ever been strip searched? No. Has the person you like ever seen you in your pajamas? Yes. What is your least favorite type of chocolate? White chocolate is way too sweet. Did anyone see your last kiss? It was at an airport, so probably. Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend? I mean, I do, but I don't really know how smart it would be right now. Is there anyone you wish you could fix things with? A few. Who IMed you on Facebook last? My friend Girt. Were you kinda scared of the goths in high school? Hell naw man, I looked up to them lmao. What size is your mattress? (single,twin,double,queen,king) Queen. Do you like spaghetti? Hell yeah. It was my favorite food as a kid. What about lasagna? No; I don't like the cheese at all. Have you ever been stung by anything? What was it? Mosquitoes of course, as well as a bee once. Maybe other things, idk. Have you ever worn contacts? (even just to try them out) Yes, but I changed to glasses because I had too much trouble putting them in and taking them out. Have you ever had any suspicious moles removed? No. Have you ever been screened for STDs? No. Did you have your tonsils taken out? No. Did you have your appendix taken out? No. Do you have any collector’s glasses or cups or mugs? What is a "collector's" glass or mug? Were you your parents’ first born? No; I'm the middle child. Do you have a child? Is the father still with you? No. Were you born perfectly healthy or with some (or a lot) of health issues? I was born healthy. Good 'ole days. Did you ever catch any bugs or insects with your friends as a kid? Ohhhh yes, my neighbor and I loved doing that. My favorite was catching fireflies with my sisters, though. Would you prefer to travel around the world by yourself or with a friend? With a friend. I'd get lonely. Do you know anybody who has been diagnosed with cancer? A whole lot, sadly... I'm despising that disease more and more every day that goes by. I know far too many people who have it or have died at its hands. Have you ever had to take care of an intoxicated person? No. Do you and your boyfriend/girlfriend fight a lot? N/A. Do not stay in a relationship where fighting is common. Would you ever share a site password with a family member or partner? I mean sure, depending on the site and person, and the reason they (may) need it. Has anyone ever told you they couldn't trust you? Hm... I actually don't think so? Who in your family has the prettiest eyes? Idk, I don't see enough of my extended family to know. What is an odd food item you would like to try, or have tried? I'm sure there's something I'd like to try, but nothing I think about with consistency, really... Most "odd" food I find unappealing anyway. When/if you drive, do you go the speedlimit? When I did, I certainly always tried to, but I was bad at maintaining a stable speed. I went up and down too much. Are you an aggressive driver? Or more passive-aggressive? I was dangerously passive at driving. Describe a hairstyle you had as a little kid? Well, I had long hair with bangs. What routine of yours would you most hate to break? Probably stopping getting a soda first thing in the morning... That is like so deeply ingrained into my day and is a motivator to get up in the first place. I want to change this to where I'm not allowed to grab one until I've had a full cup of water, but yeah, that hasn't happened yet. Has jealousy ever ruined one of your friendships/relationships? Honestly? I think it's possible that Jason totally split on me because of it. We were in this very unstable "friends" position after the breakup and hung out very briefly and awkwardly twice (which I'm pretty sure he didn't want), and I think one of our last attempts at conversation was who a girl he was talking to via Messenger was. No, before any assumptions are made, I didn't snoop. He showed me something on his phone and I just inevitably saw the little Facebook chat icon of a girl I didn't recognize. I don't even remember his answer. I just know it wasn't too long later I was blocked and everything. What is one restaurant you would NOT recommend? I personally am not a Chili's fan. What was your last conversation about? Mom and I were just talking about what a mush the cat is, haha. Who is your favorite person to debate or discuss with? Yo fuck debates, I got mad anxiety over that kind of stuff. Are you more likely to praise or insult yourself? Why? Insult. I don't even believe myself when I try praising, so it's not worth the effort. I have a billion and two reasons. Do you enjoy cloudy days? Why or why not? Honestly, not very much anymore. I've found that it actually does affect my mood. I like some cloud coverage, though. Would it bother you to be forgotten after death? Yes, even though when you think about it, most of us will be. I want to do stomething so badly; not even particularly something major, but just contribute to things and causes that matter and slowly change the world for the better. It's especially likely I will be forgotten though at some point because I don't want kids, so my blood isn't carrying on. Do you tend to prefer healthy or unhealthy snacks? Ugh, unhealthy. Has anyone ever asked you for diet advice? I think so, back when I started recovery and lost like 60 lbs fast as fuck. I wasn't even dieting though, just... came off awful meds. What age is your youngest aunt? Ummmm I have no clue. Do you like bowling? Yeah, it's fun, but I'm not good at it. Do you like roasting marshmallows on a bonfire? Totally. Do you prefer sweet or sour fruits? Sweet. How're your dancing skills? Rusted to the point of just not functional anymore lmao. What brand of batteries do you usually get? I don't pay attention to the kind Mom gets. Are any of your friends pregnant or have kids? A lot of my FB friends have kids. At least two are pregnant, but I only consider myself remotely close to one. I'm beyond worried about how she's going to be as a mom. Where's the strangest place a fast food restaurant was located? I've certainly seen some questionable placement in busy areas, but none that are super odd. Do you stay up all night on New Years Eve/Day or go to bed after 12am? I don't care nowadays; I just stay up until I'm tired like every other night.

#survey #surveys #questions #questionnaire #lyrics: ''rest in pieces'' by saliva

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