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lazybug16 · 2 years

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Books I read/reread in the last 3 months of 2022 and recommend (and yes, all apart from two are queer)

Also recommend to check for trigger warnings just in case, this website for books is the one I use, or you can ask!

Act Your Age, Eve Brown by Talia Hibbert

Eve Brown is 26 and still hasn't found her passion, so after an argument with her parents she drives off and finds a cute B&B that is hiring a cook, so she takes her chance, not expecting to find out new things about herself along the way

I read this book because there are autistic characters in it and I felt so fucking seen when reading this book (especially by Eve), very very good book and the dialogue is AMAZING, you will definetly laugh! Also just fyi two very explicit scenes and very graphic (all consensual and lovey dovey) but wanted to say it just in case because they use more explicit language than what I'm used to lol 9/10

All That's Left in the World by Erik J. brown

Almost a year after a flu pandemic two boys find each other and help one another on their journey to find help, and feelings might start up on the way to their destination

Started reading it because I love The Last of Us and knew this was going to be sort of that style and I ABSOLUTELY LOVED it, I couldn't put it down like... I have no words... wow, one of the best stories I've read! Jamie and Andrew my beloved 10/10

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz

Two 15 year old boys meet in the summer of 1987 in El Paso, Texas, at the swimming pool where Dante teaches Aristotle how to swim, which marks the start of their friendship and adventures together, and maybe more...

An absolute delight to read and these two boys are just adorable (their parents are also super nice), very easy to read and keeps you wanting to know more about the story 9/10

Aristotle and Dante Dive into the Waters of the World by Benjamin Alire Sáenz

Continues right where the previous story ends, we see how Ari and Dante's relationship moves forward while also touching the topic about the AIDS epidemic, internalised homophobia, family and friendship

I really liked the sequel, you get to delve deeper into Aristotle and the people around him, and the ending was just as beautiful as the first one, Aristotle and Dante must be protected at all costs 9/10

Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire

Some children find a door/portal to another world which they eventually consider home, but they eventually end up back in the real world again. It might have felt like years since they left, but it's only been days for their parents/siblings who were in the real world waiting for their return, so they send them to a special school to get better (and also meet others like them who have been through the same experience)

Fantasy and mystery book (a bit of gore too because of murder), very very interesting and fast read, and if anyone deadnames Kade I will deck them 9/10

Heartstopper (volume 1-4) by Alice Oseman

A graphic novel showing the journey of young lgbtq+ teenagers showing their life through high school in the UK, the main characters are Nick and Charlie and we see them grow and fall in love

Just an amazingly adorable lgbtq+ story and beautiful illustrations, you will fall in love with the characters instantly, definetly recommend, especially for someone who might not be a "book" person since it's like a comic/graphic novel 10/10

Her Royal Highness by Rachel Hawkins

An American girl goes to a school in Scottland for her final year in high school and gets to be roommates with a princess, what could possibly happen...

The slowest of slow-burns, enemies to friends to lovers, and roommates, what more could you ask for? Sort of a mix between Red, White and Royal Blue and Young Royals but wlw. Also Perry my chaotic beloved 7/10

I Was Born for This by Alice Oseman

Angel is a massive fan of the boy band The Ark and meets up with an internet friend to meet them and go to their concert, all the while we also see how Jimmy and his other two band mates cope with fame and fangirls

You think famous people are perfect? You put them on a pedestal? Feel possessive? Ship them together? Then read this book to learn the reality of it all and maybe you can grow tf up 8/10

Lost Christmas by David Logan

A child called Goose lives with his nan in Manchester and does petty thefts for a bit of cash, alongside his dog Mutt, but what he doesn't know is that stealing a certain jewellery will be the first domino to unravel certain events that might just change his life, and possibly a second chance

This book will break your heart and mend it in the most marvelous way, you can connect with every single main character in one way or another, the story is fascinating and the twist is just so unexpected, one of my favourite books that I read as a kid and reread now 9/10

Loveless by Alice Oseman

Georgia and her two best friends just finished high school and are going to the same university, but things start to unravel when Georgia thinks that she has wasted her teens by not having her first kiss yet at the ripe age of eighteen, but soon finds out why she has never had a crush (and wonders why society is so obsessed with sex and love)

I am Georgia and Georgia is me, I felt so seen in this book and I could understand almost all of the main characters thought process and struggles, thank you Alice for writing this book, it means the world to me 9/10

Nick & Charlie novella by Alice Oseman

Takes place about a year after the 4th volume of Heartstopper, Nick is a few months away from going to university and Charlie is worried that a long distance relationship might not be the best idea... But of course, they are Nick and Charlie, so not even that can stop them

Very quick read, angsty and spicy at the same time lol 9/10

Our Favorite Songs by Anita Kelly

Aiden and Kai haven't seen each other since high school five years ago, and running into each other in a queer karaoke bar might be just what they needed to reconnect and get to know each other

If you liked Alex and Henry from RWRB then you will love this, it's fluffy, smutty and angsty and it's just an amazing story, very fast read too and it will get you hooked from the very beginning 10/10

Radio Silence by Alice Oseman

Takes place about a year or two after Solitaire, following the life of Frances Janvier and Aled Last. They need to start thinking about their future and university options, but before anything is decided, a YouTube podcast called Universe City might be the answer they needed

Oof okay, this was darker than I thought it was going to be, had to take a few breaks because of intense scenes and personal trigger warnings, that's why I lowered the rating by a point, but just like any other Alice's books, very well written 8/10

Red, White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston

FSOTUS Alex and Prince of Wales Henry have to pretend to be friends, and in doing so actually become friends, and something more (shenanigans ensue)

One of my favourite books EVER! (If not my favourite book that I've read so far) Amazing characters, amazing writing and you feel the emotions so deeply, and Alex is a little shit (affectionate) throughout all of it 10/10

Solitaire by Alice Oseman

Takes place in the universe of Heartstopper (around volume 3-4), but this time the protagonist is Victoria "Tori" Spring, Charlie's sister. We get to see her life at school and at home, and how a blog named "Solitaire" changes everything

Much darker that Heartstopper but still an amazing story, you really just want to give Tori a hug 9/10

They Both Die at the End by Adam Silvera

People recieve a phone call on the day they are going to die to inform them of the tragic news, two boys in their late teens recieve the call and spend the last day together, forming an unlikely friendship and something more

I'm so much like Mateo it's INSANE, also very interesting how some of the characters were connected with one another, very interesting concept and part four was my favourite, but also get your tissues ready because you will CRY 8/10

This Winter by Alice Oseman

Takes place about 1-2 weeks before Solitaire, during Christmas day. Written in Tori, Charlie and Oliver's POV

Very quick read, and you get to know the extended Spring family a bit more, also Nick's family a bit 9/10

Volverán a por mí by Josan Hatero & Use Lahoz

"Disobedient" teenagers are sent to an academy in scotland over the summer so that they learn how to be good and disciplined, meanwhile three strangers become friends and find out what really happens in that grey mansion and try to escape

This book is in spanish, I read it for the first time when I was in high school (like 10 years ago when it first came out lol) and instantly fell in love with it, it has the same vibes as Every Heart a Doorway but more dramatic, very cool and easy to read 9/10

Queer rep:

Act Your Age, Eve Brown (pansexual character)

All That's Left in the World (gay and bisexual characters)

Aristotle and Dante (gay characters)

Every Heart a Doorway (asexual and transgender characters)

Heartstopper (gay, bisexual, lesbian and transgender characters)

Her Royal Highness (bisexual and lesbian characters)

I Was Born for This (transgender, gay and bisexual characters)

Loveless (asexual, aromantic, gay, lesbian, pansexual and non binary characters)

Nick and Charlie (bisexual and gay characters)

Our Favorite Songs (bisexual, queer and non binary characters)

Radio Silence (bisexual, gay, demisexual and agender characters)

Red, White and Royal Blue (gay, bisexual, pansexual and transgender characters)

Solitaire (bisexual and gay characters)

They Both Die at The End (gay and bisexual characters)

This Winter (bisexual and gay characters)

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circesays · 2 years

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IM AM SO MAD THAT TUMBLR ERASED MY FIRST VERSION OF THIS. WHY. Time to rewrite 30 minutes of editing.

Frustration aside, here’s some notes for a fun “villain” Tango and hero Jimmy friendship story! Features Rancher Duo, misunderstood dungeon master Tango, unwilling hero Jimmy, ravagers, wardens, and adventures, oh my!

(I put most of it below a cut because I wrote a lot lol have fun!!)

———— :) ————

Jimmy is the prophesied Hero and member of the legendary Minecraft Adventuring Guild (MCAG), whos party has abandoned him due to his clumsiness to “protect” him, leaving him at home with a sense of betrayal and some very reckless ideas.

Tango is the mighty villain and ruler of Deep Frost Citadel, menace to all who live… yeah except he’s not. Tango actually runs a Ravager and Warden sanctuary, where he rescues abused ravagers from pillagers and maintains a healthy skulk network for his Wardens.

Jimmy marches into DFC and finds Tango with no intent to harm him (he was prophesied to defeat Tango and was kinda forced into it by his village and adventuring guild) and is like “I’m here to negotiate. Stop terrorizing people. Also please don’t murder me” and Tango instead is like “actually we don’t do that here. You seem kinda lonely and bored, how would you like a job?” (And a boyfriend and/or beloved friend cough cough-)

Jimmy and Tango run Deep Frost Citadel and Decked Out (the sanctuary/dungeon run) for a couple months together when finally Tango senses the heroes’ party approaching and decides to absolutely Clown On Them.

So they enter and are like “We’ve come to end your evil deeds once and for all!” And Jimmy enters the room like “Babe, Janet just gave birth to two absolutely amazing, healthy baby ravagers and ohmigosh they’re so cute you gotta come see them- oh hey guys!”

Cue absolutely flabbergasted stammering and indigent arm/hand motions until Tango and Jimmy just break down laughing.

-More Pieces/Story elements/headcanons-

-Tango can sense when someone is approaching Deep Frost Citadel with the intent to harm

-he usually attempts to ward them off with snowstorms and negotiation, but very very rarely is forced to kill intruders to defend himself and his assistants. He mourns every death and always returns them to the nearest settlement

-Tango has run Decked Out for years, a dungeon run that’s healthy for the ravagers and the Wardens and allows people to gamble for treasures with only risk of minor harm (they can enderport out at any time)

-Most people nowadays believe Decked Out is actually a villainous scheme to provide raids with ravagers and create an army to destroy the world with Wardens and ravagers.

-Jimmy’s old party consists of Grian, Lizzie, Joel, Scott, Pearl, Gem, Sausage, Fwhip, and Scar (who is now the clumsiest but still skilled with the bow). He loves them dearly but hates how they underestimate him. He’s not very good at swordplay or archery but he’s charismatic and funny and people like him.

-Jimmy could never hate his old party but it took him a while to stop being bitter

-Jimmy is the son of the town fisherwoman, and he loves fishing and swimming. Unfortunately he wasn’t able to continue his hobby while out training to fight

-Jimmy and Tango both know MCSL (Minecraft sign language lol). Everyone in DFC has to know it because of the Wardens, but Jimmy learned from the children of his village because he wanted to be able to talk to lots of different people

-the MCAG is a large and extremely famous adventuring guild that consists of many inner-guilds and parties, including the popular Hermits, Empires, and DreamSMP (Dream’s Survival-Magic Parties)

-Captain Sparklez leads the MCAG because of course he does.

-Jimmy’s old party is unusual because it consists of Empires members and Hermits. But his party was also a “temporary” party that was only supposed to last until Tango was defeated

-the question that remains after all of this is… what now?

Please please feel free to use any of these ideas. This is just for fun. I might write it later.

#mcyt #empires smp #jimmy solidarity #hermitcraft #solidaritygaming #tango tek #tangotek #team rancher #ranchduo #fantasy AU #hero Jimmy #villain Tango ish #fic ideas #mentions of DreamSMP #hc x empires #hc x dlsmp #honestly lots of crossovers here but it’s funnnn

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aoitrinity · 4 years

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Why Do I Have to Feel Like a Fucking Conspiracy Theorist -- OR -- How I Find a Semblance of Peace on Sunday Night

I’m also going to start this out with a GIANT DISCLAIMER.

I am about to theorize about what may have happened to the SPN finale. I have absolutely no insider knowledge. I am merely speculating here based on the panels and a bunch of Twitter and Tumblr posts that I have been reading over the last few days. If you are not in a good place to read such things, TURN BACK PLEASE. Go take care of yourself and your mental health. You and your feelings are valid and deserve to be handled gently right now.

Additionally, if you are here to give me shit for being unhappy with the ending, please walk away as well. I am here to reach out and share my feelings with people who might be struggling to make sense of something that upset some of us in very deep-seated ways. I am not here to bother you or critique you or tell you that you’re lesser because you liked the ending. If you felt it was good, then go enjoy it.

Long-ass post beneath the cut, everyone.

Alrighty folks...I debated whether or not to do this because I have been spiraling down the hell that is the SPN finale since Thursday. The travesty of what happened to our show--to this beloved show that seemed to have been so perfectly and precisely written for at least four years that it had basically already paved its own tarmac on which to land its plane and we all thought we knew exactly what we were going to get. And then we didn’t. We had a nigh Cas-less and entirely Eileen-less ending. We had no goodbye between Cas and Jack. We had Dean dying young after finally finding his freedom, only to ascend to heaven with no one but Bobby. We had the weird, weird, weird incest-y death scene. We had the bridge crane shot thing because...sure. You do you, Robert Singer.

It was so terrible, so truly awful, and I couldn’t seem to square any of it with anything we had known going in. I tossed and turned and cried and didn’t eat or sleep all weekend. I spent hours just reloading tumblr and twitter, going to the Misha panel, reading and reading and listening and trying to figure out what the fucking hell is going on because I needed to know exactly where to direct my anger. And after a fuckton of talking with @winchester-reload, I think we have at least a very plausible theory about what happened here--I’m laying it out below as much for my own peace of mind as anything else, because otherwise all of these thoughts are going to continue to spin around in my head for weeks and I won’t be able to do jack shit.

Now to start off, unfortunately I do think Dean was slated to die from the beginning of this season. I don’t know WHY they thought that was the best way to go, and I wish they had listened to Jensen on this one. Part of me wonders if it was an order from on high based on the discussion between Becky and Chuck earlier this season--the writers knew it wasn’t a great choice, but they were trying to signal to us that we should feel free to write our own endings to the story because they’d be better (I can wax poetic on the signs of why many of the writers probably wanted Dean to live, but that’s another post). I’m not defending that choice by any means, just laying it out there that I think they didn’t necessarily all want to kill Dean like they did.

However, what I THINK I can explain now is what happened with Misha and why we got so jerked around with Cas’s story. Consider what we know (I can’t immediately source all of it, but I did my best):

At the end of episode 15x19, Lucifer has been returned to the Empty after being killed AGAIN. He talks with Cas. Maybe harasses him a bit about Dean, idk. But then...Jack shows up. New God Jack. And he picks up Cas and pulls him out of the Empty, leaving Lucifer behind, because seriously. Fuck that guy (also leaving behind his abusive father is character growth for Jack, so yay for that).

-Misha was contracted to film 15 episodes this season. He was only in 14.

-Misha told Michael Sheen he had to go back to film 1.5 episodes after the shutdown in March. (Starts at 6:13)

-Misha was in Vancouver during filming of the finale.

-Mark P said at Darklight Con that the last scene he filmed was with Alex and Misha (and Mark P was only in episode 19).

-Misha implied that he was present for various filming moments, including Dean’s death (start at 35:15), and said that it felt like a “mini-reunion.”

-Various sources have mentioned that Jimmy Novak was supposed to be in the finale.

-After episode 18, Stands tweeted a fan who was angered and hurt by Cas's death that they could talk about the “bury the gays” issue after the finale aired.

-In episode 19 we know there were takes of the parking lot scene where the only thing fans observing could hear was Dean yelling “CAS” at Chuck (fuck I can’t find this one right now, but it’s definitely out there)

-Also in episode 19, we had a very strange, awkward montage at the end of the episode.

-In episode 20, we know there were a FUCKTON of missing scenes

-We also had no opening montage, but three other separate montages.

-Carry on My Wayward Son was played TWICE, back-to-back at the end of the episode.

-Episode 20 was shorter than normal and had surprisingly little dialogue. The pacing was VERY strange.

-The cast and crew has been almost completely silent about the finale since it came out. When they have spoken, it has been with an awkward excuse of “Uh...COVID?”

-Samantha Ferris has specifically noted that, despite the Harvelle’s being back in play and a big heaven reunion having been planned pre-COVID, neither she nor Chad Lindberg received any such invitation to return.

-Cas and Dean POP Funko figures were pictured together in a replica of Harvelle’s in 15x04.

NOW with all of this in mind (and I’m probably missing some stuff too because there is so much--feel free to add on to that list), please bear with me because here is what I think we were SUPPOSED to get POST-COVID (after it was determined that the reunion couldn’t happen because of the virus):

In episode 20, we start with our NORMAL OPENING MONTAGE, like always. It traces everything that happened during the season. We are reminded of Cas. The confession. Rowena. Eileen. Jack. Billie, God, the Empty, all of it.

Things then follow along in the episode where they did up until Dean dies and wakes up in heaven. After his conversation with Bobby, he drives off to find Cas (who, in the script, was listed as “Jimmy Novak” in order to protect against script leaks--who wouldn’t want to do their best to avoid spoilers about the finale with the wrapping of a fifteen-year show?). He does indeed find Cas. We get Dean’s end of the confession. Hell, maybe we even get a kiss. And then Dean sets up his new heaven home in the recreated Harvelle’s. Maybe Cas even fucking moves in.

Years pass. We get Sam having his life on Earth (still can’t explain why they cut Eileen and couldn’t even have Sam signing vaguely to the blurry brunette in the background; if anyone wants to take that on, go for it). Eventually, Cas tells Dean that it’s almost Sam’s time. Dean takes Baby and goes to meet Sam at the bridge. The cover of Carry on My Wayward Son plays during this much shorter sequence. End of episode.

But that’s not what we got. Instead, much of what I just wrote about was excised from the episode. The remnants were stitched together after shooting had been wrapped. Filler was added in the form of montages and long, unnecessary extra shots to get the episode to something approaching a reasonable length.

But why? Why would they spend all that time and money and quarantining on Misha, only to almost completely cut him out of the finale? I struggled with why the fuck the CW would want this mammoth show to go down as the greatest queerbait in TV history when they had the chance to do something truly beautiful and monumental with it? It couldn’t just be sheer homophobia, right? Well, I think that factored into it, my friends, but here is where my head is at right now.

It was about cold, hard cash.

Now I could be wrong, but this is what I’m thinking at the moment: Supernatural is going off of the air. Supernatural, the CW’s cash cow for fifteen years. Sure there is still money to be made on blu-rays and merchandise and cons...but they need people watching their shows. They need that sweet advertising revenue. And you know what show they have about to premiere? A show that could, potentially, bring with it a chunk of that SPN revenue?

Walker.

And if any of you know anything about the original Walker Texas Ranger, you know that the show was predominantly a show about a very heterosexual white man being very excessively heterosexual. And for SOME REASON over the years, many of the execs at the CW still seem to think that this show, Supernatural, is really attractive to a lot of middle-American white men...whom they desperately want to watch this new show with this guy from Supernatural that they already know.

Now here’s where COVID fucked us. I think Destiel was greenlit by TPTB, at least in SOME form, before COVID. But then the pandemic happened, and they panicked. They got the cut of the last two episodes and watched them in their original, probably queer form. And then, the execs at CW looked at the economy. They looked at their cash cow, about to make its journey to the great beyond. And they looked at this new little calf Walker that they were so desperately worried about. And they made a choice.

They decided that it would be too risky to take the step with Destiel. They were worried about frightening off their ever-so-valuable hetero male demographic with the possibility that a traditionally masculine man in his 40s could be in love with another man in an overt way. It was homophobia mixed with greed, spun up by fear for their revenues because of COVID.

So they called in Singer, possibly Dabb, although I wouldn’t be surprised if they went straight to Singer. They told them that Destiel had to go: executive orders. And the only way to make it go in a way that removed any trace of what had been there was to rewrite what happened to Cas and cut him out from the last two episodes entirely. It was too late to reshoot anything. They had to just cut and stitch and fill with bullshit montages.

They removed the scene at the end of 19, probably because Cas and Lucifer discussed Dean. All that was left of Misha there was his voice on that fake phone call. They may have cut other things too, but I would bet my life that they cut a scene from the end of the episode and replaced it with that very strange montage. Then they moved onto 20. They cut out every scene with Cas. And left in only two platonic mentions of him, neither made by Dean. They tried to imply that Cas might show up in Dean’s heaven at some point, but that was as far as the editors could go in the time they had. They filled in with montages, awkwardly long shots, anything they could do to fill all of those missing scenes.

And they even had to take the opening montage, because literally everything in it pointed to Cas being there at the end of it all. They wouldn’t be able to leave out his scenes, they were too critical to the season. They couldn’t cut his confession without raising eyebrows. So they cut the whole thing and moved “Carry On My Wayward Son” to one of the newly-added driving montages at the end. Which is why we awkwardly had both songs play back-to-back--again, such a strange choice unless they were out of options and couldn’t exactly buy rights to a new track or compose anything else.

And so we were left with the shadow of the finale that we deserved, that Cas and Dean deserved. We were left without resolution or happiness or words. Bobo told us the most important thing about happiness is just “saying it” and our characters were silenced without anyone ever knowing the truth.

I think the writers might have known and been given the new party line that “Misha never filmed, he couldn’t, sorry, it was COVID, no one’s fault!” But I don’t think most of the cast even knew it had happened until they watched the finale on Thursday with us (though they might have been confused why the bit from 15x19 was sliced, they could reasonably have assumed it was a time thing and also BL episodes don’t make sense anyway). Why do I say that?

Well, first of all, Misha started sending out a bunch of excited texts to fans with some old BTS pictures about an hour before the show started airing on EST. He also wanted his children to see the episode, his YOUNG children. Why would he show them such a traumatic episode if their Dad wasn’t in it? What if it was because he wanted them to witness what was going to be a monumental moment in queer television history that their DAD got to be a part of? And then that was all dashed.

Which is why I think the cast and crew went almost completely radio silent the next day. I don’t think they knew. And based on how they have been acting on social media since then, I think many of them are absolutely furious, but they have been silenced because of NDAs, because they want to find work again in a cutthroat industry, because they don’t want to bring down the hellfire of Warner Brothers Entertainment upon themselves. So the most we have gotten is a little acknowledgement from the MERCHANDISING COMPANY trying to validate our pain (god bless Shirts, she is a LIFESAVER) and a response to my salty tweet about keeping good stuff in the closet from Adam Williams (the VFX coordinator) that seemed to acknowledge the validity of my complaint.

Then there was a scramble behind the scenes, I would bet my life. Talking points were fed to the boys who had panels today, to CE, to all the cast and crew:

Toe the party line. Misha never filmed. This was always about COVID. Do not mention Destiel. Do not mention Dean’s feelings for Cas. Do not promote the Castiel Project or anything that validates the idea that this was anything less than a superb ending.

And that is why we have heard so little from the cast on this front, and what we have heard has been muddled and contradictory. That is why the writers are saying nothing. That is why we have been left adrift.

Now before I close this out, I do want to say that I really, genuinely do not think this was on the writers at all. I feel like they tried to give us the best ending that they could, in a writers room that we know is notorious for splitting along party lines about the overall story (BL and Singer, who have always been about the brothers and their man-pain vs. Dabb and the rest who always seemed to want more for them and for Cas). I think they did everything in their power to at least end with Dean and Cas happy together. If they could give us nothing else, they wanted to give us that. And then the network took it from them. From us. From everyone.

For the sake of fucking money.

And the WORST PART OF IT ALL, for me, is that in the wake of this disaster, the fans have been left to try and figure out what happened. We have had to wade through a mire of conflicting information in the midst of all of our collective anger and grief over this garbage ending of a show many of us have loved and even relied on for YEARS, all the while wondering if we’re just fucking crazy, if we have all fallen collectively into the hole of conspiracy theories. That hurts ESPECIALLY badly because we have taken so many hits over the years from other groups on social media saying we were crazy for seeing things that weren’t there (especially Destiel), for writing meta and analyzing tropes and believing the evidence of our eyes and ears. The network has made us relive that entire nightmare WHILE processing our grief for a show we wanted so badly to celebrate and which instead we now have to mourn.

So again guys, I cannot prove that this is exactly what happened at all; this is simply my idea of what may have happened. But right now, it’s the most sense I can make from this mess, and to be honest, the act of typing it out has helped me enormously in my processing of it all. I feel like I can see more clearly, like I know where to target my outrage and where to direct empathy. I feel like just fucking maybe, I might be able to do my job tomorrow without bursting into tears at random moments.

I really hope that this post has helped some of you to, in some small way, process this too. We get through this the way that Misha told us at his panel this morning, the way the writers have told us to do all season long...we throw out the story God gave us and we make it better. We write our characters the happy endings they deserve.

We save them.

One last thing--if you have not already, please consider channeling your rage into a donation to one of the five causes our fandom has put together to pay tribute to our beloved show and to mourn the ending it should have had:

-The Castiel Project

-Dean Winchester is Love

-Sam Winchester Project

-The National Association of the Deaf

-The Jack Kline Project

#supernatural season 15 #spn finale #speculation #destiel #destielgate #the ending was not the ending #fuck the cw #trust the story #we were robbed

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wildwormies · 2 years

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Omg I love your screencap series! I'm currently having nostalgia over my wk fandom era haha. Could you do Flight of the Pollinators?

Be careful fam nostalgia’s what dragged me back into this dumpster/hj

Watching your horrendous behavior

Why first season so pretty

Fucking nerd

Plant cu

Yoyo

AY YO ITS MR BEEAST

SHUT UP CHRIS SHE’S ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE

Passion of the Chris(t)

Trained professionals

Aw the little knee touch

Jimmy expressions >>>>>>>>> the rest of the show

Dead

Ah, Martin lamenting he and Chris are supposed to protect each other and he failed to do that my beloved

No comment

“So are you gonna like. Leave a tip or smth bc I ain’t no fucking taxi”

Also Flash? I don’t remember the other hummingbird ep having one named that but cute you named your own buddy again Chris

127 hours

(Dog)

Ok 1) adorable dork

2) I can only imagine the helmet's somehow hooked up to the wearer’s brain since they experience the various smells, so imagine just how disastrous this malfunctioning in any way could go, or god forbid someone rip it off before it disconnects. This would absolutely kill someone

What the dog doing

KINKAJOU MY BELOVED

A father

Why a gnome

I just like the bee suit

No comment I just love him

Also he deserves to have good aim

Babies

Ew he spent the whole night in there he probably pissed in it

Also since I knew the comp would be too long to put anywhere but the end

(bRO WHY HE RUN LIKE THST)

Why are they so cute

#wormcaps #im so sorry i didint think i'd take this many snips hshjshd #about 76 dEAR GOD DHDHFHD #wild kratts #2d martin kratt #2d chris kratt #aviva corcovado #jimmy z #wk koki

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weareallstardustfallen · 3 years

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hello empiresblr i have watched pix's video and i am, once again, back with analysis, because this is just my life now. today's thesis:

pixl and fwhip are narrative foils.

there's a lot of similarities between them, both as characters in the narrative and their role with that and just in general. pixl even pointed out some of them today: they've got similar philosophies when it comes to making use of the corruption, and they're both the kind of extra that it takes to put elder guardians under sausage's base. they play off of each other really well, and it's very fun to see, but i'm getting off topic bc a good dynamic does not a narrative foil make.

their role in the narrative is really mirrored, especially in their character development. towards the beginning of the story, fwhip was one of the main antagonists, alongside sausage; that's obvious from all of their interactions during basically everything preceding the peace ravine. pixl, on the other hand, was quite firmly on the protagonist's (jimmy's) side, and that was also abundantly clear. it was fairly unambiguous that fwhip was an antagonist who was doing bad things, and pixl was a character who was unconditionally on the protagonist's side.

and then the story got complicated, and their dynamic got interesting; specifically, when it came to the dragon fight.

fwhip was, for what's basically the first time (iirc) acting as a heroic figure. he messed up by sending jimmy into the end, sure, but as soon as he realized that he started thinking about what he could do to make sure that the dragon didn't die, and immediately gave back the cod head and apologized, sincerely, to jimmy. it may have been somewhat caused by his own fear of xornoth, but regardless of his motives, he did everything right. if we look at who the protagonists seem to be for this arc; it's less clear than before, but i would say scott and shubble, and of course the anti-xornoth side of things more generally; he was aligned with the protagonists.

pixl, on the other hand, was working against the protagonists. he was trying to kill the dragon, and though he wasn't villainous in the way that Sausage and Joey were in that interaction, he was definitely acting in the interests of the main big bad. unintentionally, perhaps, but he was told that he was doing something that was wrong and he chose to ignore that. it's sort of similar to how fwhip was acting as an antagonist, except for their intent; pixl didn't know the consequences of what he was doing, and he was just trying to get home, but regardless the similarities are there.

like fwhip, pix had a moment of realization that killing the dragon was wrong, but his came after the dragon was already dead. he didn't have the chance to immediately backtrack and mitigate the mistakes he'd made, because it was a bit of a pandora's box situation; you can't shut that once it's open.

(also, unrelated to the thesis- i think it's very interesting how fwhip, of all people, is the one he called out for during his vision. mr riffs explain)

his reaction is different to fwhip's, though, in what i find to be a very interesting way! both of them share the fact that they are so protective of their citizens, and care a lot about keeping them safe- it's obvious with just about everything pixl's done since the dragon fight and how every action seems to somehow lead back to the good of pixandria, and fwhip is often worrying over and checking in on his villagers, like after he returns from the dragon fight, and after the test subject dream (thank you birch for the reminder on that one!) and both of their reactions lead back to that same protectiveness. but where fwhip's reaction is action- building up the empire to keep them safe- pixl's is overwhelming guilt. he acts, with the ghast farm and solidifying his alliances and working towards taking down sausage, but the core emotion that is driving him right now is guilt.

another point- their major mistakes in the dragon fight come down to what they know really well, and how in that moment, their knowledge fails them.

pixl is really, really good at knowing how the world works. in every interaction, he always seems to be the one who knows the specifics of the mechanics they need, and the one who is teaching the person he's talking to- he's very confident in his knowledge of what makes the world tick, and exactly how to utilize that. of course, this could come down to pixl as a player having a lot of knowledge of the game's mechanics, but i'd also point towards things like the vigil- pix is a very experienced character, as well as minecraft player.

and in the dragon fight? he knows he needs to get home, and get his allies home. he knows that to avoid dying in the void, the dragon needs to be killed. he knows how to kill the dragon. his logic leads him to a very clear conclusion, and one he's absolutely certain of- but he doesn't quite account for all the factors. he doesn't realize that xornoth is another concern, and he pays for it.

fwhip, on the other hand, seems to really get people. this is actually most clear in his first act interactions with jimmy- he's fantastic at knowing exactly what buttons to push, how to needle at him until he gets the reaction he wants. it carries over to his interactions with others, too, which is what makes him such a good manipulator. he knows what makes people tick, and how, if he so chooses, to exploit that.

and his fatal flaw in the dragon battle, just like pix's, is the fact that this knowledge isn't quite enough, or he's too certain of himself without knowing the consequences. he knew exactly what to do to send jimmy into the end- he was dead certain, and right, that jimmy would walk into a trap if he thought he could get the cod head back as a result. the problem was, well... he didn't think that jimmy would be dedicated enough to kill the dragon once he was there. he knew jimmy would take the bait; he didn't know he'd follow it that far.

a final note, which i think is probably less intentional (although you never know, they're very clever writers) but is a pretty bit of poetry- the vigil and the deepslate redstone sort of mimic each other. they're both something with a power that hasn't been or can't be quite explained, but is incredibly central to their empire and their character, and they both consider themselves sort of protectors or shepherds of it, in a sense. there is also a nice visual mirror there- a dark stone and a light stone, each full of lights.

conclusion: this story is so much fun to analyze and also gunpowder boys my beloved

#WHOOO that was a long one #pixlriffs #fwhip #empires smp #empiressmp #empiresmp #esmp #empiresblr #empires smp analysis #mcyt #rain chatter

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babesonly · 3 years

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fic recs 2.0!

hello kings (gn) ive got significantly more fic than last time which means this is gonna be a little more organized than the last post bc it is much longer <3 categories in order are non casefic canonverse, casefic/roadtrip fic, finale fixits, endverse, non supernatural aus, and then non destiel ones. titles will be in bold for my favs! also within each category they’re in order from shortest to longest

Canonverse

I’m a tulip in a cup by godtiering (1.2k)

I worry that I never really came back from hell. I wonder why, if I got remade by heaven, I’m still the same screwed up kid that I always was.

Sometimes I worry I’m not into women at all.

"Guess not,” he looks at his shoes.

a REALLY good fic that’s basically just a look inside dean’s head during my bloody valentine do not read this looking for a fun time but please do read it

on vessels by flightsofangels (1.9k)

“You know,” Cas mutters into Dean’s bare skin. “When I was still… an angel, I used to dream that I would take you as my vessel.”

hello consumehimnatural fans!!!!! read newt’s fic right now its incredible

dean winchester is not a nicholas sparks protagonist by microcomets (1.9k)

Dean fell in love with Cas the way you fall asleep--slowly, and then all at once. Or some other hackneyed and trite bullshit. God, this is embarrassing.

dean is in LOVE. he’s also a disaster who keeps staring at cas’ hands. sigh

Stay by aeli_kindara (2.5k)

Coda to 13.06 (Tombstone). In which Castiel reckons with the aftermath of Dean's grief.

hello fellow widow arc fans <3 click here to see cas find out abt the events of advanced thanatology !

walking on a string by swordfishtrombones (2.7k)

Between the doomed offensive at the Firmament and the impending retreat from the ravaged northeast border, Castiel left camp long enough to answer one of Dean Winchester's prayers.

S6 DEAN IS A WAR WIFE. been really into early seasons deancas lately and this one is very good. god

the flesh of the mighty by Mudprophet (2.7k)

Ezekiel 39:17 "you shall eat the flesh of the mighty and drink the blood of the princes of the earth."

MY GOD. anyone who saw the @autisticandroids purgatory cannibalism talk and was interested read this right now. also anyone who enjoyed nbc hannibal OR raw (2016). if romantic cannibalism is remotely aligned with your interests read this right now. god

Sam Winchester, Ally At Law by alittleduck (3.3k)

Sam was pretty sure he could read every single gay friendly guide to coming out or supporting queer family members ever written and literally none of them would even imply that arguing with gay people that they were actually just homophobic constituted as "ally behavior". However, Sam was equally sure that none of those book authors had found themselves accidentally watching their brother get pounded by an Angel of the Lord at 9 am on Tuesday, so Sam was pretty sure he might actually still have the higher ground. Now, if only Jack would stop trying to bond with Dean using gay slurs long enough for Sam to convince everyone of that, he might just be able to cobble together some remnant of sanity or, failing that, dignity.

Or, the one where Sam desperately wants to invent PFLAG but Dean won't stop teaching Jack gay slurs

JACK VOICE HEY COCKSUCKERS.

hummed low by microcomets (3.3k)

Dean pulls the Impala over at a cider barn about thirty miles out; doesn't really think about it, just sees the hokey orange lettering off the roadside and lets his hands guide the Impala off the interstate with gravel spitting under the wheels.

they get a nice day out together and dean has a gay crisis and it’s written beautifully mwah

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit by pyrebi (3.9k)

In which angelic marriage bonds are apparently stupidly easy to trigger, Cas wages multidimensional war in Heaven, Dean can't catch a break like ever, Sam rather enjoys being a dick, love saves the day, and nobody consummates anything.

sometimes i think about this fic and it hits that at this point dean and cas would have been married for more than a year. cas my beloved...

an exploration of gender; angelic by sometimeswelose (4k)

Castiel's true form is made of electromagnetic radiation. He has spent the majority of his life, if you really want to add it all up and average the whole thing out, as a wavelength of celestial intent.

The thing about being made of light: it's light in the physics sense of the word. Castiel's waves are gamma, x-ray, micro, and radio. He's visible light too, of course, a visible light so intense that it is blinding to most humans.

hello trans cas community <3 he’s literally trans he was assigned genderless and then went hm actually i will be a man! love of my life

Some Boys are Sleeping Alone by prosopopeya (4.2k)

This isn't something that's okay, not for him, but it chases him through the years until it turns into something he can't -- doesn't want to deny.

ohhh deans tenuous relationship with his sexuality my beloved...

love. worship. consummation. consumption. by redeyedwrath (4.3k)

ConsumehimNatural (copyright marcusantonius) the Series!

These are all snapshots centered around the idea of you know. Hunger in Supernatural. Both carnal hunger and other kinds. Fics are shown in semi-chronological order but this series is generally nebulously early seasons.

for ANYONE who is a consumehimnaturual this is required reading it is INCREDIBLE and gorgeous and very visceral and i am so very obsessed with it. thank you redeyedwrath for enabling my brainrot

the reach of human sense by perilously (4.5k)

“You know what Jimmy Novak looked like. You think he was beautiful—gorgeous, hot, all of it. It’s him. Not me. This isn’t my face.”

“But,” Dean says. He doesn’t know where he’s going with it. Just that Cas’ face is right there, brows drawn together and cheekbones gleaming in the lamplight. It’s a face that’s made his heart skip probably a couple hundred beats collectively since they met.

And it used to belong to someone else.

this one is just very nice <3 cas gets uncomfortable w dean calling him attractive since dean has never seen his trueform and they work it out

Down in the River by Ias (4.7k)

Alone in Purgatory and hunted by Leviathans, Castiel finds himself praying to the one person who can't hear him.

cas i love you <3 cas alone in purgatory praying to dean bc dean is the only thing he still worships i love you so much

Creature of Habit by trinityofone (5.1k)

The more you love someone, the more you want to kill them. Or: How Cas developed some bad habits, and Dean coped surprisingly well.

written in s5 when cas was depowered and completely nails the later seasons bitchy husbands dynamic it’s very good and fun <3

sink by crackers4jenn (5.4k)

"Where to?" A 9.06 coda.

very bittersweet very well written and also canon compliant so do not go into this one looking for a happy ending but i DO recommend it it’s very good

Sensational by castiowl (6.1k)

“When I first came to earth, it was advised that we temper the senses bound to our vessels. They were a distraction, we were told. An antiquated form of experiencing existence that would hinder our ability to complete our missions, whatever that may be. My true form can better facilitate these experiences. What you would recognize as heightened senses of sight and sound, among other things.”

Or, how Dean helps Cas experience all five human senses for the first time in one night.

early seasons deancas man. i love the sound part i love dean being so worried about doing a good job with this. god. read this please

Something to Protect by Sass_Master (6.2k)

Dean’s violent reaction to being unexpectedly woken has become something of a running joke among them, but Castiel can’t help but look past it to the underlying cause. It makes him ache to think that Dean feels so unsafe, so persecuted, before he’s even fully conscious.

Secretly, Castiel has been determined to work on that, to ease Dean into awareness in a less jarring way, smooth away one of the many stresses that follow him even in sleep. Now’s as good a time as any to try.

oh to sleep more soundly in the presence of someone you love...this fic is very nice i enjoyed it a lot

all this and heaven too by ftmsteverogers (7k)

“Hey,” Dean said. “I’m not ashamed of you, okay?”

Cas raised skeptical eyes to meet his.

“I mean it,” Dean insisted.

“I understand you mean it,” Cas said. “But I don’t think it’s any better if you’re only ashamed of yourself.”

hello trans dean community here is 7k of trans dean having to deal with his internalized homophobia now that he’s sleeping with cas <3 it is SO good

The wilderness. by orange_crushed (8k)

He takes a shower and the pressure is not especially good, but it doesn’t matter. It’s warm and he stands under the spray a long time. Human skin, he knows, constantly renews itself, shedding the dead cells of the epidermis. He wonders how long it will take until he is an entirely new person, until every cell on his surface is a new one. He looks at his hands under the water. It might take less than a month.

this might be the only post 9x03 fic on here with a happy ending actually? plenty of good melancholy leading up to it though <3 canon divergent after 9x03 though which means no 9x06 fanfiction gap but it is absolutely worth reading

till the juice runs by deathbanjo (8.4k)

Apparently whoever drew up the venn diagram of Dean’s sex life decided the circle labelled ‘good sex’ and the one labelled ‘sex with men’ should be kept far apart.

hello this one is SO funny dean finally gets comfortable enough with his bisexuality to start having sex with men and it goes so very bad every time so sorry about your shitty choices beloved </3

First Date by aeli_kindara (8.9k)

“We should go on a date. You and me.”

Castiel wishes he could see Dean’s face. He wishes he had any idea what to say.

“I’m asking you out, Cas.”

this one is very sweet i liked it a lot <3 good refreshing little fic where they just get to have a nice evening together

Entertaining Strangers by cadignan (9k)

Dean settles on to his side, lying in the bed facing Castiel. “So you had sex without me and you bit all my moves. I think I deserve to hear about it, at least. What was her name?”

op im in love with you. premise is established relationship deancas and cas mentions he did have sex before dean and not only that it was a threesome. good for him <3 this fic is cas describing the story of what led up to the threesome and what happened during it while dean interrupts regularly. incredible

the shape you take by noviembre (10k)

“What?” Dean says, fake-offended. “I’d be hot as a girl, you know I would.”

And this is when he really, really should have stopped talking. When he shouldn't have whipped back around and asked, “Cas, if I was a woman, you’d fuck me, right?”

Because if he hadn’t said that, then he wouldn’t have had to deal with this:

Cas, meeting his eyes, forehead wrinkles all smoothed out like there’s nothing to be confused about anymore. Cas with something at the corner of his mouth that might barely be called a smile.

Cas saying, calmly and without hesitation, “Yes, Dean.”

Dean Winchester fucks around and, with the inadvertent help of some witches, Finds Out.

dean winchester your gender is diabolical. this fic is insane and its the only thing that matters actually. dean fully convinced its normal and straight to think about being a woman so you can fuck your male friend. incredible. op im proposing to you

Sinnerman by a_good_soldier (10k)

Dean listens to Nina Simone, reads Anne Carson, and makes out with a dude (sort of).

yall want to read about dean realizing he’s in love with a man as a direct result of learning to better respect women right?

you’re fooling yourself by cowboydeanwinchester (13k)

Dean Winchester and Castiel retire from hunting to raise baby Jack. Dean struggles to allow himself the things he truly wants.

Jack is two, Castiel and Dean are idiots, and Sam's gotta solve everyone's problems.

love a married couple who doesn’t know they’re married <3 everyone say thank you sam for bullying dean

The Girlfriend Experience by rageprufrock (15k)

While it's not like Dean hasn't had a couple of truly regrettable hit-and-runs in his sexual history, this is probably the saddest fucking thing that has ever happened to him.

a classic for good fucking reason. we’ve all talked about dean thinking holding hands is too gay after having just had gay sex but my personal favorite was sam accusing dean of cheating on cas because dean bought condoms. incredible

No Kingdom To Come by domesticadventures (16k)

“We should fuck,” Dean says.

Cas looks up from where he sits on his bed, hair still damp from the shower, frowning as he places a finger on the page of his book to mark where he left off.

There are a million things Cas could say here; Dean has rehearsed them. After lunch, his restlessness had given way to a vague panic, a dread that matched his every step and crept along with him from room to room. Eventually, he had returned to his bedroom and spent the rest of the afternoon pacing back and forth, playing out all the possible scenarios. When Cas asks him Why? or Are you being serious? or when he sighs and says, in that way he has, Dean, he knows exactly what he’s going to do. He’s going to shrug casually, like he isn’t invested in the answer, like he isn’t desperate for an outlet, and say, Why not? He’s going to raise an eyebrow and say, What, are you not interested? He’s going to crowd into Cas’ personal space, he’s going to shove himself right up in there and whisper Cas against his ear.

Instead, Cas says, carefully, “Okay.”

literally the only quarantine fic i’ve ever bothered to read in any fandom and completely worth it it’s SO good. they become fwb and dean has an existential crisis and he keeps bringing up meaninglessness and death during sex

Bodies by Speary (18k)

It was a secret they never acknowledged even with each other. It would change everything, end everything if either of them ever dropped the act. So they became very good at acting, at keeping up the lie that gave them what they wanted. Even if that lie involved constantly seeking out temporary, consenting female vessels, Cas would do it. He told himself it was worth it for Dean. He just hoped that he could stop wanting more, or maybe one day Dean might stop pretending that he wasn't really sleeping with Cas every time.

i don’t even have anything to add tbh if that summary did not immediately make you click we are very different this fic is incredible. god. fellas do you ever make yourself a woman so you can fuck the man you love without him having to talk about it or confront his sexuality

it’s such a mystery (the way you know me) by fleeceframe (20k)

So the man crouching in front of Castiel is named Dean. He wonders if that’s supposed to mean something to him.

“Cas must’ve got hit with something earlier. He just dropped like a sack of fucking potatoes a minute ago. By the time I was checking on him, he had already woken up again, but now he doesn’t fucking know who we are.”

“I’m right here you know,” Castiel says testily.

Sam’s eyes are wide even as his eyebrows are furrowed, and he looks between Dean and Castiel again.

“What do you remember, Cas?”

“Firstly, that I’m not Cas. I don’t know who Cas is, but it’s not me. I don’t know who either of you are, either."

or the one where castiel is hit with a memory curse that makes him forget the winchester brothers and is stunned to find out he has a family... also why can't he stop thinking about dean?

BEST amnesia fic oh my god. cas my beloved you deserve the world. everyone read this that is not a request.

More Than Ever by Sass_Master (20k)

Dean’s getting some pancakes together for breakfast when Cas saunters in after a run.

He’s trying to focus on whisking batter, unfairly distracted by Cas a few feet away, breathing heavily and shining with perspiration. Dean’s been painfully aware for a long time that Cas is pretty easy on the eyes, but he’s used to seeing Cas buttoned-up and unflappable, looking straight-laced in a stiff oxford and an unflattering trenchcoat.

Now Cas is sweating, Dean’s borrowed t-shirt clinging to his skin, flushed from exertion and Dean really can’t deal with that in his kitchen right now.

this entire series is really good i enjoyed it a lot, i’m just putting this one specifically on the list bc the rest of the series is very explicit and this is really good as a standalone for anyone who wouldn’t be into the rest of the series!!

Being Dean Winchester by Anonymous (20k)

"You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of hell. I can throw you back in."

Who the fuck was this bitchy "warrior of God" doing talking to him like that? Fuck Cas-tee-el and his dumbass trench coat and abrasive motherfucking attitude.

Dean was done with this shit.

***

Wherein a monster of the week steals the essence of Castiel's vessel, so he must use Dean, recently raised from hell, as a vessel instead.

it is at this point i realize that there are more fics than i expected there to be on this list that involves a threesome with only two people/using the presence of a female body to act like what’s happening is heterosexual. deangirlism is a disease

I Shall Not Want by domesticadventures (20k)

His grace is burning out, and the wasteland it leaves inside him becomes an echo chamber for all the memories, all the fear and doubt and self-loathing he's collected over the years. Things said and done hound him on endless repeat until he's convinced they’ll break through his skin and fill the silence of the bunker.

His head is killing him, and he sits hunched over an open book, not really reading, just digging his fingers into his skull and praying nothing slips through the cracks.

this one is GORGEOUS i love it so so much. dean and cas are both struggling so much to get by and they’re trying to support each other but fucking it up and they have to grow together and learn to cope with the fact that this is where their lives are and they fall in love i need everyone to read this

To Boldly Go by 8daysuntiltheapocalypseiguess (24k)

Title: Just One of Those Things Author: Impala67 Series: TOS Rating: M Summary: Four years into their five-year mission, and all the planets start to look the same.

In which Dean is not Gene Roddenberry, but he does write Star Trek fanfiction.

mx winchester writing star trek fanfiction to process his own trauma <3 this is a wip but it’s SO good and i also have not consumed a single piece of star trek media so it IS definitely readable to anyone who isn’t a star trek fan. please read this

where the weeds take root by deathbanjo (30k)

“Are you happy? Y’know. Just—being here,” Dean says, gesturing to the yard with his beer bottle. “Being with—I mean, you used to fight in celestial wars and—and save the world. Now you’re growing vegetables and talking about chickens.”

this is on here just for the 1.5 people who were putting off this one like i did for no reason. it’s extremely good and it is just gentle. i enjoyed it a lot

Heroes for Ghosts by pantheon_of_discord (42k)

After Sam and Dean are arrested, Castiel is left alone and scrambling to find them. He knows they’re locked away in a government facility, and he’s still able to hear their prayers, but no matter how he tries Castiel can’t seem to track them. He chases leads and even attempts to hunt on his own, but Mary is AWOL, Crowley refuses to help, and Castiel’s options are running out.

Weeks pass, Castiel’s hope dwindles, and through it all Dean prays, keeping them connected. His voice is comforting, frustrating, and occasionally annoying, but in his solitude Castiel comes to cherish it. But then one day, without warning, Dean stops praying, and Castiel is forced to confront some uncomfortable truths about his feelings.

yall ever wonder what it would’ve been like if the sam and dean arrest storyline in s12 was interesting? yeah <3

Teaching Poetry to Fish by aeli_kindara (52k)

In which Castiel teaches poetry to fish. Also, himself. Also, eventually, Dean.

(A series-long story, diverging slightly from canon after S14.)

cas learning about humanity through poetry before dean and thats what led to him developing enough emotion to be lobotomized....cas i love you so much

Emergence by ellispark (58k)

Something’s been missing from Dean’s life for the past three years, a void left after a hunt gone terribly wrong. He often feels a sense of longing with no discernible cause, a need to talk to someone who isn’t there.

A call from an acquaintance leads Dean to James Novak, a man who disappeared more than a decade ago, and suddenly Dean gets the feeling he’s found what he’s been missing. But James isn’t really James — he’s the angel Castiel, who’s wanted by angels, demons and hunters alike. And he may be at the center of the storm that wrecked Dean’s life all those years ago.

another cool amnesia fic!! for unknown reasons everyone forgot cas three years ago but cas didn’t forget anything. cas deserves so much love and support. god

a turn of the earth by microcomets (95k)

Dean’s your typical half-orphaned, monster-killing 22-year-old until a trenchcoated stranger crashes into his back windshield one September night, claiming he’s an angel that knows him from the future and that he’s on the run.

Frigging fantastic.

(Or, in which Castiel gets stuck in Dean’s timeline preseries and Dean kind of hates it—until he doesn’t.)

cas getting to meet and fall in love with pre hell dean just as much as he loves the dean he already knows oh my GOD. i love this fic so much. turn of the earth my beloved

Crossing Lines by sometimeswelose (122k)

Two Deans, one Cas - it's not as sexy as it sounds

An ethics lesson from Hell

The one where Dean from the past meets Dean in the present. They're not sure they like each other very much.

deans intense self hatred vs cas’ unwavering love for every version of dean oh my GOD also this is a wip fair warning but it’s so worth waiting for updates i’m having such a great time with this one i cannot wait to see how it gets ended

Plot Holes by saltyfeathers (160k)

Of course it wasn’t over after the apocalypse.

There was season six. Then there was season seven. Against all expectations, there was season eight. There were the alphas and purgatory, and then the Leviathans, and then the angels fell. Enter season nine. Loose threads Metatron, Abaddon, and Crowley have to be tied up. Sam, Dean, and Cas have to try to tie them while at the same time dealing with their evolving relationships and newfound graceless states.

Amidst all the chaos, someone has started publishing the Supernatural novels again. Convinced there’s something amiss in the pages, Charlie starts her own quest to suss out the truth behind the Winchester Gospels.

With the help of various faces, old and new, they must now not only deal with the typical runs of demons and recently fallen angels, but also reconcile the battles raging inside themselves, as the fate of the world, once again, quite literally lays in the palm of their hands.

saltyfeathers said i WILL make the plot holes in this show mean something because the showrunners are sure as shit never gonna adress them ! and i thank them for it bc this was a really cool read

Casefic/Roadtrip Fic

Deprived Of Every Planet by KelpietheThundergod (9k)

Dean's breathing is audible in the scant space between them, irregular. The motel room is dark, pale blue shadows falling in through the gaps in the blinds. Throwing a pattern of uneven white stripes over the bunched up covers. Over Dean's fingers twisted in the sheets. One half of him in shadow, softened by the dark. The heat of his skin. The tremble of him under Castiel's touch.

He caresses a hand over Dean's chest, slowly. Dean's mouth falls open, his body arching into Castiel's touch. Castiel stops over Dean's heart. Through the fever of his desire, he rejoices about the wonder of experiencing another's heartbeat through one's own senses.

Dean gasps, but then he turns his face away and towards the dark. Eyes closed tight and brows furrowed like something is hurting him.

Castiel stills.

“Dean?”

the case is background on this one but it Does take place over the course of a case so im putting it here. god touchstarved dean trying so hard to work through his shit for cas head in my hands i love this fic so much

before and after breakfast by spocklee (10k)

The monster of the week is a ghost who hates meat, alcohol, and feeling yourself. Guess who it is during the commercials.

chapter 2 of this one.....god. dean and cas you are both so unwell <3 i love everything abt this fic everyone read it now

we shovel all the ashes out by xylodemon (15k)

Dean’s always known things were headed this way. He just figured getting dragged under would be cleaner and easier than jumping in feet-first.

fics that make you go Oh they love each other...also there’s lesbians in it literally what else could you want.

thunder road by dothraki_shieldmaiden (20k)

After Chuck is defeated and the Winchesters settle into life without God, Dean Winchester is bored.

OR: Dean and Cas take a road trip and figure out some stuff along the way.

this fic is just like. it’s kind! this fic is kind it’s just a pleasant experience and i enjoyed it thoroughly. they’re in love and it’s good

Suck It, Judy Garland by GlitterDwarf, midrashic (20k)

It had to be St. Louis. Or, the one where Sam and Cas get fake married for a case, and Dean loses his mind.

actually im gonna defend dean here imagine youre dean and cas gives what definitely sounded like a deathbed love confession while making eye contact with you and then immediately afterwards fake dates your brother. who among us would not have been a bitch about this

best friends without benefits by lizbobjones (20k)

It’s nearing three a.m. and they’ve been on the road a long time. Sam’s been asleep in the back seat since eleven. Giving up and handing the wheel over to Cas and letting the guy who doesn’t sleep drive had seemed like a good idea.

the premise of this fic is so funny. cas voice dean you want to fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid. everyone read this

the taste of gravel in the mouth by deathbanjo (22k)

This is what Cas gave up Heaven for: greasy diner food, shitty motel rooms with even shittier cable, long car rides spent in complete silence except for the same six tapes playing over and over again, and a burnt-out husk of a man who can barely hold a conversation anymore.

alt version of getting rid of the mark of cain, the darkness never happens. this one is VERY heavy but it’s so good and it has a hopeful ending. ive read this one twice and loved it both times

Someone Who’s Feeling For Me by ellispark (45k)

Dean sees her for the first time in nearly six years in some no-name town in Idaho, and it's panic at first sight.

Lisa Braeden, the one woman Dean ever actually had a shot at a real life with, back from where he buried her in his mind. And her hand is on Cas's arm like it's no big deal, like it belongs there. Cas, Dean's dorky, sweet, badass, angelic best friend, and he's just standing there next to Lisa and not moving her hand away.

Dean feels the jealousy rising, and it's not directed where he expected it to be. Because it takes this exact moment for Dean to realize he's in love with his best friend. He's in love with his best friend, and Lisa is looking at Cas like he's the best thing since automatic rifles, and Dean is utterly fucked.

hello op please contact me. please contact me and let me see the inside of your brain. this fic was an unparalleled experience and everyone should also go through it. i love it so very much

Bumper Cars by mansikka (111k)

Two teenagers are missing from an abandoned carnival, and there’s enough to raise suspicion that their disappearance involves a ghost. Dean, Sam, and Cas arrive in town to investigate, though what they find leads them away from those teenagers, and on the trail of a ghost story that churns up things from their past.

Can newly-human Cas, and Dean, with the help of shipper!Sam, work out the mystery behind the abandoned carnival and its ghost, and along the way, figure out the riddle that is them?

one of my absolute fav case fics it forces dean to confront some aspects of johns parenting and work through some shit and also him and cas fall in love and it’s really well done. love this one a lot <3

Finale Fix-its/Finale Denial

Sorry Jimmy by K_K_TiBal (2.1k)

Based on the tumblr textpost:

jellydeans: so are cas and jimmy novak just up in heaven existing at the same time katebushstandean: #jimmy moves to heaven timbuku so that dean stops trying to make out with him every time they run into each other at the heaven grocery store

this one is just extremely funny. local midwestern heterosexual man is forced to play relationship counselor to the dumbest gay people in existence because one of them wore his face

Dean Winchester Really Needs To Make Some Gay Friends by AreYouReady (2.2k)

“Like, I’m trying to think if I’ve had, I don’t know, crushes. If I ever had a gay thing before you came along and just didn’t notice,” Dean said.

Cas suddenly looked down, and away from Dean. If Dean didn’t know better, he would swear Cas looked guilty.

“What is it, Cas?”

“You have had several… gay things before.” Cas still wouldn’t look at him.

“What? When? How come you know this better than I do?”

There was no way the answer to this question wasn’t funny as hell.

dean learning about gay ppl via the memories of dean smith...incredible.

tiny difference (between ending and starting to begin) by sunforgrace (2.4k)

Sometimes Dean catches Cas staring at the sky.

It doesn’t happen often. Not when Dean’s around to tell, anyway. But often enough that he starts to notice.

Eventually Dean starts to recognize the pattern.

Cas just doesn’t watch the sky. He watches the birds.

Chuck is gone, Cas is human, and the world is safe. In the quiet aftermath Dean and Castiel find each other again.

i really don’t have much to say abt this one it is just very good and they love each other so much

Bring Home by cenotaphy (3.8k)

Dean's phone doesn't ring on the drive back to the Bunker, but that's okay. Because—well, maybe Cas lost his cell, what with getting shuffled back and forth between a cosmic void dimension and all. And anyway, Dean doesn't want this conversation to happen over the phone, he wants to—he wants to talk to Cas face-to-face. They should talk face-to-face.

Dean will tell him—

Dean doesn't know what he'll tell Cas. Dean is, in fact, terrified by how utterly and completely he does not know what he'll say to Cas.

cas being forced to face the consequences of sending the risky text that was despair <3

dean’s coworkers vs the heteronormative agenda by cowboydeanwinchester (4.1k)

Dean started working at a local auto repair shop in Lebanon, Kansas about a year ago. His coworkers don't know much about him. Except that he has a wife. Or maybe he doesn't. But he has a kid. Who is either a toddler or a high schooler. Who is either named Jack or Sammy. He also might have a best friend named Cas, but that also might be his wife.

Truth is nobody knows what to make of Dean.

obsessed w people not knowing a single fucking thing about dean because he talks so much and never explains anything. this fic is SO funny

Enhanced Extraction Techniques by goldenraeofsun (5.8k)

The Empty takes Meg’s shape, Samandriel’s, Duma’s, every one of the thousands of angels Cas killed up in heaven. But in the middle of lecturing Cas in the form of Balthazar, it explodes in a burst of light and sound.

Dean Winchester stands in the aftermath.

the empty playing mind games on an awake cas bc it can’t put him to sleep is a thing i like a lot and this is very very good

Speak Silence No More by rea_sunshine (8.1k)

When Dean imagined this moment, it went like this:

Dean bursts into the Empty—guns blazing, chin high, righteous anger coursing through him. No matter what form his plans and fantasies and whiskey-drunk-whispered-promises took, he is always, always successful. When he imagined it, he was finally the hero Cas deserved.

The reality of the moment is this:

It’s fucking cold.

dean and cas STILL managing to not communicate with each other properly after the confession is so funny to me and this fic does it really well. also i like that a human being in the empty, where humans do NOT belong, had some like. consequences

my heart is a compass by lagaudiere (10k)

“There you are,” the Empty says, in Dean’s voice. It’s cold, like Dean’s eyes are cold, his expression set in contempt. It’s the expression Cas feared, he realizes, all the times he thought about saying it. Revulsion. It makes him feel sick in the way that goes beyond physical, here where there is nothing physical left.

The moment before it happened had been so sweet it covered up all the hurt. For years, Cas had been holding back those words, biting down on his tongue to keep from saying them. And now he had said it, and he knew that it was good, knew that it was worth it. But on the other side there is only this.

In the Empty, Cas dreams of his regrets, until someone comes looking for him.

one of thee best dean rescues cas from the empty fics out there i love the way his memories are written i love how many of them were ones that this fic came up with to give me new things to have brainworms over instead of just making me more fixated on He Watched Him Rake Leaves than i already am

killing time by orestespdf (11k)

It's been four years since Dean saved Cas from the Empty and confessed his feelings in return, and in their Vermont lakehouse, the retired couple is now learning how to heal. One morning, Dean gives Cas a haircut.

(A character study of Castiel.)

perfect fic perfect fic no notes no complaints they love each other so much and now dean is giving cas a haircut and they’re spending the day together. god.

and every time we kiss, i swear i can fly by knameless (14k)

Every time, Dean tells himself it’s the last.

aka, twelve times dean and cas kiss.

a just boy best friends kiss for every season <3 mwah

for which no words exist by MediaWhore (14k)

'a prayer for which no words exist' // richard siken

"Dear Cas who art in my bathtub, give me the strength to be honest about how I feel. For your sake and for mine. Forgive me all the times I wasn’t in the past, all the words I should have said but didn’t. And please stay. Please stay with me when all is said and done. Amen. "

Dean rescues a newly human Cas from the Empty. That's the easy step.

mediawhore i am in LOVE with you oh my god this fic. this fic. dean taking care of cas after rescuing him dean wrapping cas in a blanket oh my GOD

swimming with the fish pond fish by februyuri (17k)

Some time between Dean bleeding out on a makeshift hook in a barn in Ohio and Sam making marshmallows on his funeral pyre, Dean was brought back to life. By Castiel. Again. Dean agreed to it if only to give Jack time to work out the glitches up top. So, now Dean’s back in the land of the living and things are ... actually good, for once.

Or, as good as they can be when demons are attacking Earth, Dean’s failing to get over why he died in the first place, and Cas is suddenly, inexplicably taking every opportunity to casually tell Dean that he loves him.

this is a wip! but it is so good and so worth the read i love it a lot and am very excited for the last chapter. it IS pretty heavy though dean has a LOT to work through

looking like a true survivor (feeling like a little kid) by courfeyrac (20k)

"Jack’s a clever kid—has been ever since he was born, maybe even before that—but Dean’s pretty sure he hasn’t figured out where they’re going yet. And Dean’s… Dean’s excited about it. He remembers planning surprises for Sammy when they were little—saving up quarters and sneaking off to the arcade the year he turned seven, or slipping a book Dean had seen Sammy admiring into his jacket before sprinting out of the store the year he turned twelve. There was only so much Dean could give him back then, hindered by lack of finances and transportation and a father who paid attention. Now, though, Dean’s got a wallet full of cash, a tank full of gas, and the freedom to give his kid the kind of birthday he deserves."

Or, it's Jack's fourth birthday, and the kid wants to go to Build-A-Bear.

EVERYONE READ THIS RIGHT NOW. that is not a request this fic undid me. oh my god. oh my god. they’re a family and they’re going to build a bear and they love each other. oh my god. also no it isn’t a baby jack fic he is 4 and he is also alcal

what’s missing is found (our souls can exhale now) by sobsicles (27k)

It's not the first time Claire has ever gone missing. It is, however, the first time Kaia panics about it. Dean's dragged into the mess, but he soon finds that it's the best thing that could have happened to him.

~~~

"But have you ever just met someone and maybe it wasn't from the first moment, maybe it was after all these other moments that meant more than you ever expected them to, and it seems like your soul just—just—" Kaia makes a helpless gesture with her hands, pushing out, and she breathes out loudly. "Like it can finally exhale. And that person isn't guaranteed to make you happy, but they're—they're important. You just know it, you can't even escape it, you can't let them go. Ever met someone like that, Dean?"

"I—" Dean halts, his mouth hanging open. He's looking at Kaia, who's looking at him, and his heart is fluttering in his throat like a caged bird aching to soar again. His mind threatens to spiral out of control, but he focuses, swallowing hard. "Yeah. Um. I—yeah, I have."

deancas AND dreamhunter we love to see it also dean DOES smoke weed with kaia and apologizes for pulling a gun on her what more could you want in a fic

Command Me To Be Well by prospopeya (28k)

Dean did a lot of thinking about when and how he would get Cas back. Months of it, actually, stretching into a year, because while Sam and Eileen were settling into their new lives, Dean was stuck. He was stuck in a faraway corner of the bunker, dark and empty and hollow, ringing with the sound of a vibrating phone.

So when he falls to his knees in that same room, exhausted, hurting, breathless, and he feels a hand on his shoulder and looks up to see Cas, he realizes that he doesn't have a single clue about what to do now. Getting Cas out had been easy--actually, it'd been the opposite of that--but the planning of it, the methodical desperation of one attempt after the other had been a familiar rhythm. It'd been soothing almost, solid, something to focus on that wasn't Cas's eyes, watery and jubilant in a way Dean hadn't ever seen that up close on anyone, let alone Cas.

And now Cas is pulling him to his feet, and Dean's stumbling, and he instinctually grabs Cas's arm, and his hand lights up with a fire that he isn't prepared for.

"Hello, Dean."

oh post despair lack of communication....oh dean refusing to work through his feelings...this fic is incredible i love it everyone who enjoys dean doing everything in his power to avoid talking about feelings up to and including having sex with the guy who’s in love with him multiple times should read this

break the skin (to break the barriers) by sobsicles (29k)

The first time she meets him, he's nothing more than an almost-missed appointment.

SOBSICLES TATTOO FIC MY BELOVED. dean grieving and getting tattoos and it turns into tattoo therapy. im SO in love with mitzi it’s insane. requires some suspension of disbelief for how long a tattoo takes but it’s an incredible fic and an unparalleled experience. sobsicles does not miss

ascend by quiettewandering (53k)

Something in the world is wrong.

Demon activity is rising where mysterious black substance oozes and unusual ecological events are shaking the world. Dean, grief hanging on his shoulders, restlessly searches for answers that might lead him to the Empty… and to Cas.

But what Chuck wrote can’t be undone. The narrative thread pulls Dean along, forcing him to comply. Because once a story already has an ending, it can’t be rewritten.

Or can it?

SUPER cool concept i liked this a lot i’m pretty sure everyone’s read it already but just in case someone hasn’t you absolutely should

oh sooner or later it all comes down to faith by sobsicles (62k)

Getting used to Heaven is something of a marvel. It ain't perfect, and Dean thinks he'd hate it if it was, which is probably why it isn't.

~~~

"You don't understand," Dean whispers, exhaling shakily. "I know you don't, because even I don't. The instant you were gone, I wanted you back. Cas, I wanted you back. I wanted—I wanted—"

Cas stares at him, searching his face. After a moment, his own face falls slack, eyes widening just so. "Oh," he breathes out.

Dean wants to be furious that Cas has figured it out before he has—whatever it is—but he's not even that surprised. Cas knows him too well, always has, even more than Dean knows himself. He's been kicking Dean in the goddamn teeth with how deeply he understands him, even about the things Dean doesn't, ever since they first met. You don't think you deserve to be saved, that's what Cas had said. All bundled up in impossibilities and power, this being that looked at Dean Winchester and knew every single inch of him, as if he had a right to each part.

"What?" Dean grits out.

"I love you, too."

the ONLY heaven fic. i do not read heaven fics bc i refuse to budge in my finale denialism i refuse to read fic where it is accepted that dean dies. i was hesitant to read this but god im glad i did it was so good. literally the best possible outcome of dean dying

Endverse

final fantasy. by orange_crushed (1.9k)

“If I’d actually been born human, would I have gotten sick like everyone else? Would I be running around gnawing on the neighbors?” Castiel tilts his head up and even from here Dean can see the black ring of his pupils, wide and dark as dead stars. He’s high as fuck and he’s been loading the guns for forty-five minutes. He stares into the space where Dean is. He smiles and shows his teeth. “Maybe you’d have already put a bullet in my head.”

"This is why you don’t lead storytime anymore," Dean says. "This kind of shit."

endverse last night on earth fics are something that can be so personal actually. god

The Last Song by Moorishflower (3.5k)

The very last song is the Song of Solomon, and Castiel sings it only for Dean. Set in "The End."

this is like. pre endverse and the tone is so like. wistful? is the best word ive got? it’s gorgeous i love it but fair warning there is graphic description of like. viscera and infected wounds

to think that we could stay the same by cipherwriter (6.5k)

cas has all he needs; himself, his creation, and enough power to continue this cycle for a long time. he's fine. dean wants to take care of him anyway.

oh my GOD this one is good it’s based off the thing of how originally endverse cas was supposed to be just sitting in a room killing and resurrecting the same cockroach over and over. very bittersweet at some points i love it a lot, do not read it if youre looking for something happy though lmao

the first church at the end of the world by withbloodstainedclothingon (11k)

The angels don’t eat the brain. Only Croats do that.

this one is fucked but it’s incredible it contains very heavy and violent subject matter and cas is an Actual cult leader he doesn’t just have orgies it is SO well done and i had a great time reading it i recommend it very highly if the warnings sound like something you can stomach

Down to Agincourt by seperis (1.1 million. i know. yes it’s a wip)

There is no such thing as a guarantee when it comes to war.

The outcome's known. Why try? Return your rusty sword to battered sheath, bow your head and bend your stubborn knee. Why take the field when you cannot win the war? But Harry -- he went down to Agincourt.

PLEASE. i know the length is intimidating i KNOW it’s a very long fic but please. please read down to agincourt i am begging you. head in my HANDS this series is incredible.

Non Supernatural AUS

Long-Term Relationship by bendingsignpost (2.7k)

Castiel says, budging over to make room for Dean on the couch, “I thought we should have a serious talk about our relationship.”

Reflexively, Dean laughs.

Castiel does not.

“Uh, Cas... you know we’re not dating, right?”

look man it’s bendingsignpost okay. it’s bendingsignpost it’s good and it’s sweet and you should read it

One White Lie by komodobits (11k)

Castiel takes a deep breath and rings the doorbell. He doesn’t need to run through what he’s going to say – he’s already planned and edited and rehearsed it a thousand times. He is going to ask Dean Winchester out to dinner. If it’s not too forward, he’ll say, perfectly charming. You see, I’ve seen you around the neighbourhood and you always seem so earnest and I’d really like to get to know you bette— The door swings open, and Castiel panics.

He intends to excuse himself. He means to apologise and come back some other time. However, in a moment of blind fear, what comes out of his mouth instead are the words, “Could you spare a moment for Jesus Christ?”

do you ever pretend to be a jehovahs witness for months to hang out with the guy you like because you fucked up asking him out? yeah.

separate ways and sleeping dogs by sobsicles (53k)

Dean is three years sober when Cas comes back into town.

~~~

For a moment, they just stare at each other. Dean, once again, has to swallow the urge to offer to swallow something else. It's very hard to resist the gut-wrenching pull of want that hooks in his chest whenever he looks at Cas. And to think, he used to have him, used to be able to act on that want.

God, he's so fucking stupid.

Well, there's no point in kicking himself three years later for shit he can't change. He'll just sit right here and pretend that his fingers aren't twitching with the urge to reach out and touch. He can't do that anymore, and it's his own damn fault.

"Three years ago," Cas prompts.

Dean huffs a weak laugh. "Yeah. Eventful."

this fic hit me SO hard emotionally oh my god. don’t have much to say bc most of my thoughts on this fic are very personal but my god read this please

Everyone’s a Critic by Englandwouldfall (109k)

The one where uninspired chef Dean Winchester has a one night stand with the male (!) food critic who described the flavour of his garlic bread as 'closeted' and accidentally ends up dating him to try and prove that he's a kick ass chef, thank you very much.

(He may have a point about the 'closeted' thing).

this one is SO fun. dating the food critic who called your garlic bread closeted and lying about your career because you’re embarrassed and you want to redeem your food in his eyes but then you fall in love with him

Non Destiel Centric

gender? you mean that thing i have that pisses people off? by bigender dean winchester (homosexualitie) (946 words)

sam and dean paint each other's nails and dean abuses the technicalities of her gender. what more could you want?

HELLO HE/SHE DEAN COMMUNITY oh my god the pure rush of euphoria reading this. oh my god. oh my god.

the quiet road to a distant city by rottingbrains (1.2k)

Sam stares out the windshield again. They’re approaching a city, and she can see the lights in the distance. She’s past the danger zone, and she feels like the world around her reflects that in some way she can’t put into words- as if God is telling her that it’s okay. She did the right thing, and soon she will be past the lonely unknown and into the warm, forgiving light of acceptance. Or something. Come to think of it, the lights only look warm from far away, and she knows that the actual city will seem far less welcoming. Still. Best not to imagine the worst when it’s already going well.

required reading for transfem lesbian sam fans. fics that live in your ribcage to make your heart feel good

Four People Ruby Seduced & One She Actually Fell For (Or: Ruby's Epic Love Affair with Humanity in General and Sam in Specific) by tuesday (3.7k)

In which Ruby has a lot of sex, is not any kind of therapist that would be legal, and helps a few people out for her own reasons. (S4/S5 AU)

for everyone out there who enjoys ruby being a girlboss <3

Fractured Link by Trell (orphan_account) (5.5k)

Meg goes on, resolute despite the way Dean flinches, "He likes me. He likes me a lot, and I like him back, and that's probably good enough for both of us. But fuck me for saying so, Dean-o, he loves you, probably more than anything else on his daddy's green Earth, and you need to man up and give back what Clarence over there has been devoting to you for years."

this is meg/dean/cas which is not smth i really seek out but this was extremely good. set in s7 so it’s meg and dean and honey cas and it’s a lot of dean figuring his shit out and trying to forgive cas and i love meg a lot in this

#spn #supernatural #destiel #deancas #mine

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encrypted-cryptid · 3 years

Note

good morning! 5+ headcanons for a roleswap between scar and Grian in season two? (Grian being the soul master type while scar joins the Southlands?) maybe with some of that good ‘ol “I murdered my best friend for fun and profit” angst?

finally getting around to this! roleswaps my beloved <3

1- so i think that their life counts stay the same here. scar with his 5 lives (because grian still takes one of course) follows along with martyn and jimmy whilst grian (freshly traumatised with trust issues thanks to bdubs) decides to strike out on his own, actively trying to get mumbo to leave him alone (if he's alone then there's no chance of betrayal again, no heartbreak this time around)

2- grian, still craving the wind through his wings and to touch the clouds, builds up high to start his soul business. he wants to hoard them, get up and away from yellow to dark green so even if he does die to a boogeyman again, he won't be in any danger. the alliance with joel is strained at best, grian mostly going along with it to make sure he has access to tbe enchanting table (joel is, of course, first on his list if he gets boogeyman)

3- scar on the other hand builds a towering wall of dark oak around the towers of the other aha-lliance members. it keeps his people in and safe and anyone else out. he craves the social aspect of a large group, determined to not be alone this season with his partner forced by a life debt into teaming, he wants to be useful and needed and the aha-lliance is exactly what he needs. they are bros they are friends :]

4- i think they end up doing the same 'yearning but pretending not to' that martyn and ren have going on (f to mumbo jimmy and impulse for having to put up with both of them) they both have spyglasses and can just about see the others base across the server, so sometimes at night they'll see the glint of the others spyglass and not realise who it is looking at them

5- scar absolutely loses a life in the nether. despite the fact that he has mumbo jimmy and martyn to protect him, he still falls into lava. grian, upon seeing the death message, starts scrambling down the mountain to spawn before remembering they arent allied anymore

6- during the double boogeyman fiasco, grian tries to protect joel against the aha-lliance after they turn on him (despite the fact that he promised himself he wouldnt get attached again) scar, in the panic and confusion, throws down a lava bucket to try and save his allies and well. grian no longer owes him a life after that

#asks #3rd life smp #last life smp #hehehe hurts you hurts you hurts you

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theres-an-impulstor-among-us · 3 years

Text

underrated new friendship: Martyn and Skizz (spoilers for session 6)

Skizz saying they can't leave Martyn out there alone against Scar/saying he can't leave Martyn by himself fighting against Joel, Scott, and Jimmy.

Martyn determinedly pursuing Scar to get Skizz's banner back and genuinely feeling really bad when he fails.

Skizz always making sure he knows where Martyn is when chaos is happening, making sure he's present and safe.

Martyn: "Can we just go bop them? I just wanna go bop somebody. I'm heated." Skizz immediately: "I'm in!"

The fear in Martyn's voice when he accidentally triggers the trap in Skizz's house and yells for Skizz to stay back.

Skizz yelling for Martyn to "get outta there" when he's on fire in the middle of the crossfire between the Red Army and the desert duo and being genuinely worried that Martyn is about to die.

Martyn being the one to suggest the Red Army go through the underground tunnels to back Skizz up when he's worried about his potential confrontation with Grian and Scar.

Skizz always telling Martyn to be careful when he's going into a potentially dangerous situation. (Skizz calling Martyn "buddy" my beloved)

Martyn telling Skizz to be careful when he's afraid he's on low health.

Skizz: "Martyn, I love going to war with you, man." Martyn: "Yeah you've got the same tenacity that I have. If we see someone low, we just wanna pursue them."

Martyn: "Are we done? Do we leave it?" Skizz, still in the middle of battle: "I dunno but Martyn, make this promise to me: before we die, you and I play paintball together." Martyn: "Absolutely."

Martyn being the only one (as far as we see) to congratulate Skizz in chat for getting the Sniper Duel goal.

Skizz and Martyn both loving the fact that green-life Martyn shares the same bloodlust as Skizz.

also just the fact that they are clearly Ren's two closest allies and they care for and protect both each other and Ren so much asdfghjkl

#3rdlifesmp #3rd life smp #3rd life spoilers #skizzleman #inthelittlewood #vaunna’s thoughts

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stardancerluv · 4 years

Text

Is Immortality the Ultimate Gift?

Part 4

Summary: Being together finally makes things interesting

Warning: voilence (gun shot, ripping a heart out) , harsh language,

As your eyes locked, a smirk curled his lips. “Let’s go then and rip her heart out.”

Over the course, of your existence you had only ever wanted to go back to your human life. The way things had been. As you looked right back, into those dark blue eyes, things would never go back to those days. He would always be a ghoul and you vampire, yet excitement filled you. The two of you were on a cusp of a new and fresh start.

Your absolute attraction to him had a strong pull on you. The stench that surrounded him, didn’t diminish your want, your desire to lay with him as you had when the two of you were mere mortals.

“Thomas, I will go and change.”

His eyes traveled the length of you and he did not move to get out of your way.

“What’s wrong with this outfit?”

“I was thinking after we get rid of her, perhaps we could celebrate.”

“Oh, I like the sound of that.”

******

Looking, through the rows of clothes, you could remember a time when you had hid behind a screen because you had been shy to undress in front of Thomas. Now, you knew he was there watching. You enjoyed it, additionally the feel of his emotions as he watched you was pleasing. As you slipped on the dress you finally decided on and pulled on the boots you turned to him.

“Thomas, how did Alywin heal you?” He looked taken back that you knew he had been there. Going, over to your hands gently on him, his body cool under the white t-shirt. “Now, that I know how your presence feels, I’ll never forget it.” That appeared to make him feel better.

Taking a hold of your hands he looked at them, his thumbs caressing your palms. “They are still so small and so delicate.”

You smiled. “I never stopped being as delicate as any flower, only difference is now I am as strong as a panther”

He looked down at you playfully. “I want to feel that strength.” One of fingers caressed the hollow of your throat. These lingering touches were doing something to you.

“We’ll see if you can take it.” You challenged as equally playful. You were already enjoying the strength he’s showed you.

*****

Starting the engine, looking he merged and began driving towards the flat. “You had so sweetly, distracted.” He easily smiled at you as he drove down the darkened streets. “Alywin, healed me with his blood.”

“His blood?”

“Yeah, sometimes he just prick his skin and a mere drop would heal whatever scrap I got myself into.”

“What did you do to yourself?”

“Too many things when I thought I killed you.” He stopped at the red light, the turn signal clicking. “There were nights, when I was struggled to survive or even wanting to. I would stick to the shadows of dark, rain soaked alleyways.” He turned down the street. “Sometimes, all I could do to survive was eating the corpses the black death. Half hoping, that someone would catch me munching away on the horribly disease twisted bodies.”

You made a face.

“In those days, I had really hoped one would find me and burn me at the stake. I would be free of the pain knowing it my blood that killed you, my beloved.” He reached out and gave you a squeeze.

“Thomas.” All could do was say his name. You could not even imagination what he had gone through.

******

You took, his hands and held it to your cheek. “Things will be different now.” You whispered.

“Since, we’re together I know they will be.” He parked the car and cut the engine. “I have a plan.” He smirked. “Follow my lead, ok lambkin?”

You nodded. “Yes.”

Reaching, into his pocket he grimaced at you, and put on the leather thong back on. His heart began to be a little harder. He caressed your cheek with his knuckles. “I am looking forward to celebrating.”

He led, you up the back steps. Halfway, up you stopped. He turned to you. “Are you ok?”

Concern, like a gray storm came over him. What if his blood now, as ghoul was making you sick.

“Yes.” You nodded. “Just thinking what else I should do to her.”

“I like the sound of that.” He smiled.

Continuing, up the stairs he still couldn’t believe how it felt when you nipped him or seeing the sight of your fangs. Something, about it was incredibly exciting. It did something to him.

Eagerness, filled him. He was happy to finally be rid of Cammy, he had really gone tired of her. You

They were outside the flat, when he took his keys out. “Stay as close as possible.”

“Alright.” You whispered.

Once, the door was opened, he called out. “Cammy?” He could hear the shower turning off. “Cammy?”

******

You were happy for Thomas to take the lead, you looked up at the building, before he opened the backdoor. Your body, was still a tingle from when you nipped him. In all these years, that had never happened to you. Killing, this screecher was going to....

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Barked, Jimmy Picket, in your head. All other thoughts shattering.

“I could ask you the same thing. I thought you hated ghouls.” You snarled.

He chuckled darkly in your head. “She’s a cute piece of ass, she was fun to fuck.”

You mentally rolled your eyes. “I am here to kill her.”

“Oh, let me guess. You took him on and don’t want to deal with her.”

“Exactly. I am a one ghoul kind of vamp.” You chuckled.

“No fun. I can take her on if you want.” You could feel his smugness come off of him in waves. “If one things ghouls are good for is sex.” You could feel as he shrugged. “Let him fuck you. You will not regret it.”

“Yeah, well he needs to be put in his place. I want him to see what I am capable of.”

“Oh! I understand, that little one.” He softened, you could feel his memories of you when Aylwin introduced you to him. You had been a fairly new vampire in those days. “Alywin, has always been so proud of you. You were his best.”

After almost a hundred years, you were tired of telling others of his death. “Jimmy, he’s dead.” You could still seeing his look of determination as he put you into one of the life boats as the Titanic continued to take on water. You had looked up at him till you no longer saw him. Taking, the heavy woolen blanket you hunkered down till the rescue, the cold not making you shake but the possibility of death that you had no choice in.

“Oh my, you are still so sentimental and soft Y/N. What are you talking about? He’s still among us.”

You stopped. Thomas paused on the steps turning to you. “Are you ok?”

“Yes.” You nodded. “Just thinking what else I should do to her.” You quickly added.

“Well, Alywin wanted a break.” You continued with Jimmy. “It had been four hundred years without any time apart.”

Jimmy, snickered. “Look baby, I am sure it was only that I saw him maybe fifty years ago in the China sea. He was enjoying the rougher elements of existence.” He chuckled harder. “Baby, you want to travel in style with an alpha again, it feels like you have just been shifting around by your lonesome, I’ll take you on.”

“That’s sweet of you Jimmy.”

“That’s me, sweet Jimmy.” He smirked. “If you want, I can make it so your ghoul never misbehaves and he can come with us.” He suggested.

“Oh, Jimmy I am such a young one compared to you. I don’t want to drag you down. And anyways, I am enjoying the taming process. I always did like taming the stallions Alywin got me.”

“Ahh, then have fun. It’s always fun to break them. From what this one says, that Ford is a real asshole. Tame him good, little one. I know you can do it, Alywin taught you well.”

“You are too kind.”

Thomas, stopped then to open the door. As he reached into his pocket to get out the keys, you saw he still had his protection. “Stay as close as possible.” He whispered.

“Alright.” You whispered.

Once, the door was opened, he called out. “Cammy?” You could hear the shower turning off. “Cammy?”

Short moments later, the door opened, steam poured out. Glancing carefully around him; you watched as she slid out in a scarlet night dress. You slid back behind him.

“Ford.” She screeched.

“What have you been doing?” He said, gently. “I’m back.”

“I think you mean ‘who’ !” Jimmy, then came out from behind her.

“I am gone one day and you, made a new friend?” He sounded put out.

“Yeah, baby.” You heard her squeak. “Look you probably, fucked her right? Well, I wasn’t going to let you have all the fun.”

While, they spoke you reached under his jacket and grabbed his gun. You had to do this. The world doesn’t need another ghoul, you thought. Coming out from behind Thomas, you raised your hand aimed.

The bullet slammed into Jimmy’s heart.

Dropping the gun, you shook. His life force, shocked slammed you into the bookcase behind you. You shook it off, it had only taken you off you guard. You were stronger then him because of Aylwin.

You went over to Jimmy’s body as he gasped and shook as he was dying. You barely heard the screecher screaming.

“Hi Jimmy.” You smiled tilting you head. “I couldn’t risk you killing Thomas.”

“You fucking bitch.” His body then crumbled into dust. His fangs and the bullet were left behind in the pile of dust.

Sliding, the screecher a look, she had finally stopped screaming and was standing there looking at you. “You, you...what are you doing here?” She trembled.

You didn’t bother answering you took a step closer to her. Reaching, your nails lengthened, as you were poised to attack. They sliced right through the material and into her soft flesh.

You grabbed her heart. “Cammy,” You smiled, as you kept holding it. You watched as shock splash across her face. “He was actually mine almost five hundred years ago. I don’t feel like sharing.” A simple tug, you flinched as her blood splattered across your face as you ripped her heart out. She was dead as slumped at your feet, dead. You dropped the reddish, black lump of flesh.

Two hands came around your shoulders, and cold lips pressed a kiss onto your temple. “Damn, you are fucking amazing.”

Tilting, your head to one side you looked up at “Thank you.” You let yourself lean against him.

“What’s the matter?”

Turning, “Alywin is still alive.”

******

Thomas, eyed you as began to wash the blood off of you. “I thought you said, he was dead.”

“He was supposed to be. He never came to find me after the Titanic went down. And his body was never recovered.”

“What does that mean for us? What does that mean for me?”

“I don’t know.”

*****

He dipped the washcloth under the faucet again. He held it up for a moment. “I am glad the water is a myth considering that the sun actually does effect you.”

You giggled. “Yes, me too. I’ve enjoyed all it has to offer over the years.”

“I would love to see you in a bikini on a beach.” He said before he could not stop himself from saying it.

You smiled. “I suppose, I could wear at least one of them for you.”

He grazed the wash cloth over the top of your breasts.

“There was no blood there.”

“I know.”

He pulled and tugged himself free the leather jacket, you reached out and pulled off the trophy from his throat. You found yourself straddling in his lap with his arms around you. Not a word passed between you as you looked each other.

“This time if he comes, we will put up a fight.”

You shivered, as an image of the two of you igniting under a kiss from the sun filled your mind.

After years of anguish you felt his lips. Everything else disappeared.

@shantellorraine @dance-like-russia-isnt-watching @mac-n-cheesie @fandomgirl800 @vcat55 @pooshnulooshnu @greybeardthetotallylegalpirate

#is immortality the ultimate gift #ewan mcgregor #ford #ford x y/n #ford x you #ford x reader #cold war tales from the cyrpt #cold #tales from the crypt fanfiction #tales from the crypt #part 4

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