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silver-wield · 4 years

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The Promise Analysis (Cloti)

Sorry about that, Nonny, I relate the promise between Tifa and Cloud to some of the stuff that happens during their resolution and went full tin hatter on it.

Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven't played (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it's gonna be a long one so prepare to scroll.

Also, this is one person's interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that's cool and we'll agree to disagree.

You're also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I'm grabbing them from Youtube and it's frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want.

Other analyses if anyone's interested.

Shinra HQ vision scene (Cloti/plot analysis)

Chapter 3 (Cloti reblog)

Tifa character analysis

Aerith Resolution (plot analysis/theory)

Train graveyard (not really an analysis, but I got some sweet screenshots of Cloti)

Clotiscrew tunnel analysis

Cloti reunion analysis

Now, strap in and enjoy the ride.

Recapping for anyone who's forgotten the basics – cause I assume by this point you're ok with spoilers and me pointing that out is kinda dumb lol

So, chapter 4 and it's mission time with the trio – I love these dorks, especially Wedge, he is my child and if he's dead Imma riot. Jessie is off being sneaky and it's up to Cloud and co to play tag with the security team.

As Charlie Biggs (if you got the ref kudos) explains the plan, Cloud looks up at the night sky — which is a whole lot different to the one we fade up to and I personally wonder what it was about that sky that made him recall the promise to Tifa. Was it just the fact he'd been talking to her and it was his first time he'd paid attention to it? Before that he was under the plate and before that he was in the reactor, so I guess it's safe to assume this is his first chance to relate the two things.

Ok, after the fade in, we're treated to a pretty damn romantic set up. The water tower, the night sky and lil Cloud waiting for Tifa.

In the OG it mentions he waited for so long he started getting really cold, but he stuck it out because he wanted to see her and hoped she'd show. That's an OG lifestream detail not in the first OG promise scene, but let's assume for now it's gonna get a callback in the Remake. That means bby Cloud has been sitting there waiting for Tifa for a while now.

Ok, call her a thirteen year old bitch if you feel good about yourselves here, but she's thirteen and her dad is super overprotective. He stopped Cloud from playing with Tifa after she had an accident at 8 that wasn't Cloud's fault and in fact if he hadn't been there she'd have died on the mountain because nobody would've known where she was. Ok? Ok.

So, he's been waiting, and it's clear he's nervous – he looks so fucking cute I just can't stand it! Nervous fidgeting, balled fist, head down, mouth pulled into a pretty grim line. He thinks she's not coming, but still he's waiting for her.

Sorry, just to further hit home the above points. That is the face of a boy who is desperately hoping the girl he likes is gonna show, but has half given up hope. There's sadness in his eyes and a tensing along his jaw line. This boy is disappointed and my heart breaks for him.

Going back to that focus in on Cloud's eyes before the flashback and we can see here the massive difference mako makes to the colour. Cloud's eyes are a deep blue, while his mako infused eyes are blue/green. I get why he goes on about them a lot because he's probably not used to seeing them like that yet; maybe he never will be. Tifa's comment was about the look in his eyes – which I touched on in a comment I made while replaying. Tifa isn't focused on the colour, she's dismayed he has such a hard look in his eyes and when you compare the look in this boy's eyes, it's clear to see what she's getting at. This Cloud is the real Cloud and he is soft as fuck and trying to look tough.

GODDAMNIT!! There's way too many good moments to grab for this analysis! Look at this precious boy! All but folding under the weight of disappointment! But, what's this in the bg? Our heroine, here at last!

If anyone anyone tries to say Cloud didn't have a great stonking crush on Tifa as a kid then please tell me what this means if it isn't he's gutted he's waited and waited and she didn't show.

We don't know why she's late – maybe Remake will clear that up for us – but I'm guessing she couldn't sneak out or maybe, judging by the amount she's dressed up, she was doing the typical girly thing and couldn't decide what to wear, asking herself if this is a date and second guessing why Cloud called her to the water tower – which is known as a romantic meeting place. Whatever the reason, she's thirteen, sheltered – thanks to her dad – and naturally shy. Maybe she worried herself into a state about whether she should go and had to find her courage to meet Cloud. She likes him just as much as he likes her remember. It's canon, don't argue.

Now, her face is this bit is out of focus, but that's nothing to my weirdly myopic eagle eyes – it's a very specific gift. Tifa's smiling. That we can tell even before she's fully in shot. There's a bunching of the cheek muscles that tells us that. She's pleased he's still there. Obviously, she can't read his body language, but she'd probably be a bit upset to realise she upset him. Because she's not actually a bitch like some people like to claim. Sorry, but she's thirteen. How threatened are yall that you gotta call a thirteen year old girl a bitch and try to erase how important she is in Cloud's childhood just to further your own ends? Seriously, get help.

Sorry for the janky, but this is a transition between focus so it's not gonna be great anyway. Here we can see Cloud's expression when Tifa says heya. Eyes open, wide with surprise. She showed. That's what his face is saying. He's trying hard not to show his emotions too much – I mean he is still Cloud and too cool for all that nonsense – but he's relieved. Maybe his heart even skips a beat, but I'm speculating. Her greeting is casual, reserved. Tifa. She’s being cute even though he’s not looking because she wants him to think she’s cute.

Tifa, ever respectful and respectable sits the right amount of difference away that both encourages Cloud she's interested in being near him, but doesn't over encourage him and make him think of her in a negative way. She's likely cultivated this on purpose – she's the mayor's daughter so she's always got to be proper – because she's got a lot of male friends and having any of them get the wrong idea would be bad. You'll notice in her other flashbacks where the boys feature that she's not sitting too close to any of them and they're running around her, not touching or anything. They're satellites that revolve around her because she is untouchable to them. Because she's the mayor's daughter and has to be a good girl all the time. This is further evidence that goes towards Tifa's overall personality. She's very careful and respectful to people. She doesn't go out of her way to offend anyone unless she has no choice. Though she's a skilled fighter, she's very slow to anger and tries to look on the bright side as much as she can, despite the tragedy in her life. (I'm gushing, I know, but she's such a great multifaceted character and way more than the tropes people shove on her to make her into nothing).

Where was I?

Right. So, in direct contrast to their later conversation during the chapter 14 resolution, here we see Cloud with his back to Tifa and her with her head tilting, inviting him to confide in her. Yes, there really are that many awesome parallels purposely inserted in this game and that's why you need to take more than one look.

From her face we can conclude she's optimistic. She's smiling and doesn't look like someone who's expecting a bomb to drop any second – Cloud if you only turned around you wouldn't have gone through this shit. Sure, you'd have likely died when Sephiroth came to town, but hey, you'd have gone out with your childhood sweetheart lol

What she's probably expecting is for Cloud – who has purposely invited her to the watertower hot dating spot – to ask her out. And since she's there and dressed up, we could conclude she'd accept him.

Cloud is trying to find the cool words he wants to say that'll motivate Tifa to miss him, maybe even push her into saying, “No, don't go,” because even though he's fourteen, Cloud is no good at talking to women. This is just one of his character traits. It's why we wanna strangle him over the Triangle. Bby Cloud is hardly better than adult Cloud, but at least bby Cloud knows he likes Tifa.

Bomb dropped. Kaboom. Poor bby Tifa. Look how disappointed and upset she is. She wasn't expecting this one bit! She looked so hopeful in the seconds before Cloud's hesitant declaration, only it wasn't the kind she hoped for. I wouldn't go so far as to say she's crushed, but she's upset, that's for sure. Her brows have come together and she's turned away from Cloud because she doesn't want him to see how she looks in this moment. She's trying to put a brave face on it, but bby Tifa isn't as good as her grown up self. You can see the mouth trying to form a smile, but the eyes have a different expression in them.This is again seen in chapter 14 when Tifa tries to put a brave face on for Cloud before breaking down.

Shots fired! Tifa goes for dismissive and succeeds! Never mess with a girl with a crush lol

Cloud was trying to get a reaction out of her, but she got one out of him instead. Brave face wins. Well, what did you expect? She's the mayor's daughter and raised on being proper.

He stutters that he's not like the other boys – so cute – and shows off his lofty dreams. He's trying so hard to impress her. He only has these dreams because of the incident when they were smaller where her father said if Cloud can't take care of Tifa then he has no right being around her. This is what drove Cloud to distance himself from Tifa and her friends. Talk about shoving an inferiority complex and identity disorder on a kid. I get it, the mayor was worried about his daughter, but Cloud didn't deserve the bear the brunt of his anger and blame. Still, the fact that nine year old Cloud took that, held onto it for five years and still decided to pursue Tifa by becoming a SOLDIER has huge meaning for them. He was nine. Ok, for argument's sake let's say he didn't have a crush on her, but they were friends and he was told he wasn't good enough to hang with her. So, thanks to propaganda he gets it in his head that SOLDIERS are the best and if he's one of them he'll be good enough for her father to let him see Tifa again. We're not told at any point – nor shown it – that Tifa is only interested in Cloud if he's this elite who can impress her. Remember, she already likes him. Look at what she's wearing compared to him ffs. This girl – again – dressed for a date with Mr Oblivious. Yes, I'm rolling my eyes. Yes, I want to smack him upside the head. Yes, I know he's 14, I meant adult Cloud.

Back to it. The look on his face here is one of “she thinks I'm like the others? I'll prove I'm not. I'm better than that. I can be next to her if I prove myself.” At this point, he's definitely gone from wanting to be around her in a friendship capacity to borderline romantic. I mean, he did call her out to the watertower. Did I mention that? A few times? Because it's significant. He's frustrated she compared him to her friends – no she didn't friendzone him, she likes him. He thinks she friendzoned him. Kids are frustrating and the adult versions aren't much better.

Shots fired part two! Points to Cloud this time! Smug lil fucker, I see that smirk!

Okay, so Cloud says he's gonna be like Sephiroth and at this point in time Sephiroth isn't batshit crazy, he's someone to be admired. Tifa to be fair, doesn't sound impressed, but she's humouring Cloud. Then, she says, “Isn't it hard to become a SOLDIER?” And Cloud replies with “Yes, so I won't be back for a long time.”

Okay, now. This is definitely to get a reaction. The smirk on his face is saying that he's partly getting her back for her earlier shot and partly trying to goad a reaction from her because he thinks he didn't get one before – this is why eye contact matters.

Tifa, for her part, doesn't look happy. He's got a reaction out of her, but it'd be really super helpful if he was facing her to see it. Because he isn't, she can get away with a breezy reply that makes him think she doesn't care.

I'm sorry, can I just say serves you right and leave it at that? Seriously, Cloud, don't mess with girls when you can barely form coherent sentences most of the time. What did he expect? She'd throw herself on him, clinging, crying and begging him not to go? Probably. Once again, our angsty hero is on the backfoot in their conversation. This is why eye contact matters. He's looking a bit gutted at her reaction. He likely hoped for more and got far less than he wanted. It's no wonder he goes to Midgar and doesn't approach her when he comes back as a grunt. He's carrying this presumed disappointment around with him that stops him from seeing her. (I can't really go more into CC events since I haven't played it and I've only seen a few bits and pieces, but what I got from it was Cloud is an idiot.)

Tifa asking if he'll be in the papers is both a brush off towards his baiting and also she's trying to encourage him. This is his dream. He called her out of the house late at night to tell her – just her – that this is what he's gonna do. Of course she won't stop him. She's not that kind of girl. She's supportive and kind. She doesn't understand that Cloud's doing it for her – I honestly don't think it enters her mind at any point until he reveals it OG during the lifestream sequence. She's pretty much as oblivious as he is and assumes they're just really close friends and her attraction is all one sided; same as he does about her.

Ah ha! Tifa thinks, realising that Cloud's lukewarm effort to be in the papers won't be enough to satisfy her. If Cloud's going to become a SOLDIER, then he'll be a hero – like Sephiroth. What do heroes do? Save people. He said he won't be home for a long time, but there's even less guarantee he'd come back at all, and she wants to see him again, even if it's just once. She can't leave Nibelheim. As the mayor's daughter she's got responsibilities to the people there – even though the town is dying out and nobody new is settling. Eventually, she'll be the only person her age left and maybe never hear from any of her friends again. But, she can't leave. She can't abandon the people. She'll be left, alone and lonely, until everyone’s gone. Her life wasted. But, she could see Cloud again and that makes her optimistic. Maybe she wouldn't mind the time so much if she thought she'd get to see him again. See that at least he's pursuing his dreams and he's happy with the direction his life took. Maybe she'd get one grand romantic gesture in her life if SOLDIER Cloud could save her.

Confused boi is confused. From Cloud's pov, he doesn't understand this odd request. He hasn't thought about Tifa saying everyone leaving means she's alone. He's only seen this from his pov, so he can't see why Tifa would need saving or how he would even know she needs him. He doesn't realise it's her way of trying to get some guarantee they'll meet again.

I mean, we can see he's trying to understand her. He's actually turned to look at her this time and his expression is searching, like he's looking for clues why she said this. He also invites her to explain by making a verbal cue.

And now that Cloud has her full attention – you know, the thing he was trying to get all along – he doesn't know what to do with it. He's flustered and awkward, and she's cajoling and turning on the charm, which she likely has in spades because mayor's daughter. I know I say that like it's a personality trait, but in part it is. She's had to learn decorum and everything that goes with it. She needs manners and good behaviour. She has to be just enough of an extrovert that she can attend functions – because even though I know I said the town is dying, they still have a reactor and that means they still get visits from important people. She can't show her dad or town up. In the Resolution analysis I made I said she hasn't been allowed to show emotion for five years since she arrived in Midgar, but it's very likely she's never been allowed to show much emotion. She's gotta be the doll. So, since she can't show she's sad, she goes for positive, and Cloud's frowning because he's not sure how he'll keep this promise she wants so bad and if she isn't interested in him then why is she asking for one anyway? Remember, they just did a do-si-do with each other's feelings acting like they don't like each other.

But then, oh look! Oh look! In the face of Tifa's unrelenting cheer and optimism, Cloud starts to smile. Eyes soften and the slightest lift at the corner of his mouth. He's starting to like the idea of being her hero. And it's just once and maybe from that one time save things would move forward for them. He's definitely not opposed to the idea – especially since he's the one who brings it up with Tifa later and she's pretty embarrassed at the reminder. The confusion from before could be because he thought she wasn't serious, but looking her dead in the eye – this is why eye contact matters – he sees she's serious. She wants him to be her hero. She wants to see him again and even offers a get out clause by saying “just once.” He doesn't have to do it forever or whenever she wants, just once. So, she can have hope she'll see him again some day.

And now we're back with the big idiot, who squeezes his eyes shut as he remembers Tifa in the bar earlier saying she feels trapped. Guilt likely pinches. Maybe he wonders if this was a hint she wanted his help – I'm wavering on this because she does say later she didn't expect this kind of thing when she asked for his promise – but if we go by choice of words alone it's leading. Then again, bby Tifa uses the word trapped, so it could just be a word that she feels comfortable using to describe her feelings. How we speak is made up of specific words we go to that feel right when we say them. It's just one of those things and why not everyone speaks the same even when they're from the same region or you have friend groups where you speak one way and other groups where you speak another.

From the dev pov I'm assuming it's meant to be a callback to the promise, but I wouldn't put it on Tifa doing it purposely to encourage Cloud to help her. If that makes sense.

And we close off with Cloud clenching his fist and resolving to help Tifa. To keep his promise.

At no point do we have confirmation from Tifa that the reason she asked Cloud to make a promise was to get a favour off him.

Conclusion

This is actually a very tragic scene from Tifa's pov. I've seen some people say this is because she's a young girl acting like a fairy princess, but I can't marry that idea with the gritty themes FF7 portrayed, and Remake does still hit those notes. Tifa is a young girl who had her romantic hopes dashed and she's looking for some kind of consolation from the boy she likes. He's leaving her. They're all leaving her. She'll be alone. She just wants hope that she'll see him again.

Is it manipulative? Yeah, ok, if that's how you see it. She's thirteen. Did I mention that? I'll say it again. She's thirteen, and one of the last people her age in town. Soon, she's gonna be the only one her age. She's lonely and doesn't want to lose everyone in her life. If you say that's manipulative by asking her crush make a promise so she can have hope she'd see him again, then go off I guess.

And let's touch on hope. Tifa is someone who has a lot of enduring hope – this is why I initially linked the ask to the resolution scene because the theme of hope runs through both. Tifa gets knocked down a lot. She's almost died several times, lost people close to her when they left town, lost Cloud when he left and still found a way to go on. She was never a damsel or trying to be one. She's wearing a cute dress because Cloud asked her out. She thought it was a date. Or she wanted it to be. And since when does wearing a dress make someone a weakling? Or does it only apply to Tifa because convenience?

After Cloud leaves, Tifa begins training every day. She learns from a master and develops her skills until she's at the peak. I mean, you've seen her fight. She kicks all the ass.

She wasn't sitting around like a damsel waiting for an opportunity for Cloud to come and save her. She got on with her life. She was happy at times, sad others. It was normal. She missed Cloud, I know that much from CC. She dressed up – again – hoping he'd be part of the group inspecting the reactor. She was disappointed when he wasn't there.

The promise between them wasn't about furthering a childhood romance or making Tifa someone Cloud couldn't get over. Neither of them was aware the other had feelings. It was awkward mutual oblivious crushing that clearly carried on for another two years until Cloud showed up with Zack, but didn't appear before Tifa because he’s that kind of idiot.

And what happened during the trip? Well, a lot of stuff, but the thing I know about is Sephiroth went batshit cray cray and slaughtered everyone in the town and then burnt it to the ground. He nearly killed Tifa. Cloud was there and that's what we see in his headache flashes about “I let you down again”.

He carries a lot of guilt about not being Tifa's hero, which is why he tries so hard to protect her. He made a promise to her that part of him believes he hasn't kept, but if it wasn't for him, she'd be dead. Again. He did save her. And he keeps on saving her. Not because of the debt of a promise but because he wants to be her hero. The real Cloud that's hidden deep within him, the one that made the original promise, the one that almost died saving her and got stuffed in a mako chamber for years until Zack rescued him, that Cloud wants to be Tifa's hero.

That's why after he recalls this moment – and it's one of the ones where he doesn't have a headache at all (just thought I'd mention that because certain people go on about how a specific scene is all Cloud not headachey Cloud whatever) – that he becomes focused on helping Tifa. He opens up both to her and others – check the camaraderie with the trio after the mission and him offering to walk Wedge home.

This recollection of a promise is the first step for the real Cloud to finding his way back. That's why it anchors his development and that's why his and Tifa's relationship will never be less than something deep and meaningful.

#final fantasy 7 remake spoilers #cloti #final fantasy 7 remake analysis #the promise #Cloud Strife #Tifa Lockheart

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let-it-raines · 5 years

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Every Monday Morning (1/1)

Emma Swan likes her routines. She wakes up at four in the morning, goes to work as a host on The Morning Show, spends her day doing segments about cooking and this season’s fashion trends, and then she goes home to spend time with her son and help him with his homework. She’s finally found something stable, and she doesn’t like change.

So when the show’s regular chef retires and is replaced by Killian Jones, it throws Emma for a loop that she doesn’t necessarily like.

At least not at first.

Rating: Teen

a/n: So, I’m a day early as it’s her birthday tomorrow, but I realized today I won’t be able to post tomorrow because of family obligations. I think @searchingwardrobes might be okay with spreading the celebration out a bit!

Happy (almost) Birthday to the birthday queen herself ❤️ You are an absolute gift of a person who spends time writing stories for most everyone on their birthdays, and while I can’t do quite that, I thought I’d write you a little something because you absolutely deserve it! It’s been a joy getting to know you! I hope that you have the best day with your family! 🎉

Thanks @wellhellotragic for helping me figure out what to write about, even if I rejected everything. lol. And also, nonnie, I promise the “read more” is being used, so I’m sorry if it doesn’t work on mobile!

Found on AO3 | Here |

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-/-

It’s five in the morning, Emma has coffee in her ridiculously oversized mug that Henry gave her for her birthday last year, and she absolutely does not want to be awake right now. She wants to be in her pajamas, and she wants to have to struggle to get out of bed and to have to make Henry breakfast that he’ll take two bites out of before deciding that he doesn’t actually want the pancakes she made. It’s been an obnoxious thing lately, his weird aversion to foods after saying that he wants them, and she’s really going to need him to grow out of that habit.

Kids are freaking weird, and after ten years of motherhood, she still has no idea what she’s doing.

“Stop twitching,” Ruby grumbles.

“I am not twitching.” “You are.” Ruby huffs, and Emma straightens herself in the chair before taking a slow sip of coffee. “It’s not easy to put your eyeliner on, and it’s even more difficult if you keep moving.”

“I am not moving, Rubes,” Emma insists before crossing her leg over her knee only for Ruby to slap it away so that both feet are on the bottom of the chair. “Okay, maybe I am a little bit, but I didn’t get the chance to workout this morning, and I’m feeling all jittery.”

Ruby hums, and Emma tries to relax her eyes so that Ruby can keep working on her makeup without it smearing. “Why not? Did you not sleep well last night?”

“We were up late doing Henry’s homework. I swear, I’m not that old, but some of his stuff I’ve never heard of. The math is killing me. I would never in my life want Neal to come back, but I feel like it would almost be acceptable if he could do this math.” “That bad, huh?”

“That bad.”

“Stop wrinkling your nose.”

“I am not.” “You are,” Ruby laughs as her finger hits the tip of Emma’s nose. “Give me ten more minutes, and then you can get dressed and take a few minutes to eat something and drink your coffee.”

“It’s Monday,” Emma sighs. “It’s Chef Rudianni day. I’m about to eat everything that he cooks when he does his segment.”

Ruby stops the light pressure of the sponge on Emma’s cheek, and she opens her eyes to see that Ruby is staring at her with an apologetic smile. Shit.

“Chef Rudianni retired last week, Ems. We’ve got a new guy, and whew, let me tell you, he’s as hot as the food that he’s going to teach you to make.”

Disappointment settles in Emma’s stomach. Maybe that’s just the lack of food…the lack of Chef Rudianni’s food. “You are shameless and also breaking my heart.” Emma groans and leans back in the chair while crossing her arms over her chest. “I don’t care how attractive the new guy is. I wake up at four in the morning every Monday with the hope that I can get food from Rudy. It is literally the only thing that gets me through the day.”

“Being a host on one of the most popular morning shows in America doesn’t do it for you? You work for half a day and then are home in time to spend all afternoon with Henry.”

Emma grunts and waves Ruby away. “Yeah, whatever. You don’t have to rub it in my face that I’m lucky to make me feel bad about it.”

“That’s what friends are for, my darling. Now, arch your left brow. I need to fix that little stray.”

Ruby keeps prodding and plucking and doing everything that she does every morning to make Emma look camera ready and not like she’s waiting to die from lack of sleep, and while it’s usually Emma’s time to relax, she doesn’t get much of that when her producers come in and run her through this morning’s program. Emma never does any “real” news, which is perfectly okay with her. There’s enough darkness in the world that she doesn’t want to have to extensively deal with that while at work. Instead, she spends her mornings talking to people who run their first marathons at the age of sixty, tries on different outfits for each of the seasonal trends, and gets to pretend that she knows how to cook as she does cooking segments.

Chef Rudianni made it easy for her to pretend that she had something more than basic cooking skills, even if he did very obviously make fun of her off the screen, but she never cared about that because the food was that good.

She’s not entirely sure about this new guy, and she hasn’t even met him yet. He better be able to cook pie for Thanksgiving. That’s what’s she’s going to miss the most.

(Emma is obviously very hungry right now, and she’s not even technically supposed to eat that much of the food.)

“You look happy this morning,” David teases her as she settles down at her chair behind the desk.

“It’s Monday, and I’m tired.”

“Working on a morning news show was not your calling.”

Emma rolls her eyes and twists in the chair as Mary Margaret, the second half of the power couple of The Morning Show, sits down in her chair next to David, and Will Scarlet, their weather and sports guy, sits opposite of her. They’ve got maybe ten different hosts total, especially since this show lasts for five hours, but the four of them have been the main four for the last three years. It’s nice, even if their personalities can clash, but Emma likes to think that’s what makes it interesting. Mary Margaret and David are both so full of hope and happiness, and the energy radiating from the two of them make it easier for she and Will to be a little more optimistic about things.

(There was once an incident with Will laughing at a story about a woman who made her living making sweaters for dogs, and they had a month-long sensitivity training session afterward. That also may be why they are all unwaveringly positive on-air.)

Emma hums and reaches forward to grab her coffee cup, wishing and willing that the caffeine will help her make it through the day. “I think I was meant to be, like, a late-night host or something, but then I couldn’t get away with wearing slippers underneath the desk and would have to be funny all the time.”

“Does it hurt to wear heels even while you’re sitting?” Will asks.

“Why don’t you try it one day, Scarlet? I’ve got someone coming in tomorrow to show the fall color trends for shoes. I’m sure she could give you a pair to try on. You’ll look great delivering the news in some plum pumps.”

“I’d do it. You know that.”

“We’re live in thirty seconds,” their producers call out, and each of them turn from each other back to face the camera, coffee mugs put down and hair adjusted with perfectly white smiles etched across their faces.

Three.

Two.

One.

“Good morning, America,” David begins.

“And welcome to The Morning Show,” Mary Margaret finishes.

And thus they begin.

The first ten or so minutes is spent with David and Mary Margaret reading off little snippets of news before connecting it to their personal lives, talking about their kids and their relationship before throwing it off to Will and Emma and to banter back and forth. Emma never talks about Henry on-air. His existence isn’t something she shares with the world, mostly because she doesn’t want Neal suddenly popping back in realizing that he has a son. He would definitely try to take advantage of her again and use her job and Henry as some way to advance his life, and Emma isn’t here for that. So, she plays the part of a single twenty-eight-year-old woman and never shares anecdotes over her life at home. At least not ones that involve Henry.

Soon they all branch off into their different jobs and topics. Emma and Will both leave the main table so that Will can do the weather and Emma can set up to interview a college student who is taking Krispy Kreme donuts and putting his own spin on them, and like every morning, time flies by in a mess of interviews and segments and talking to all of the people who are both crazy and awesome enough to stand outside their studio window just to get a chance to see where they film.

It’s an insane life, one Emma most definitely stumbled into it, but she loves it.

Until she walks over to the fake kitchen they have on set and sees the new guy setting up whatever it is he’s cooking today. Emma stops in her tracks, the heels she put back on scratching against the linoleum floor, and she has to take a moment to collect herself. Ruby wasn’t wrong when she said that the new chef was attractive. He obviously is. Even from here she can see the sharp line of his jaw covered with scruff that’s a shade or two lighter than the black of his hair, and his eyes are so blue that Emma is almost positive they’re contacts. It’s ridiculous. He’s tall, but not outrageously so, and she can see the muscles in his forearms and biceps under the t-shirt that he has on.

Guys who look like that always know that they do, indeed, look like they do, and it’s never good news. They think they’re a gift to women world-wide, and Emma prepares herself for him to be the same way, especially with the way that he’s obviously flirting with one of their production assistants, Tink.

Why in the world did Chef Rudianni have to retire? She’s going to miss him and his sweet elderly man ways where he thought of her more like a granddaughter than anything else.

Taking a deep breath and reminding herself that she’s a professional, Emma walks toward the cooking set, grabs her apron off the hook, ties it around her, and walks up to the guy to introduce herself. He’s a once-a-week segment for four minutes, and it really won’t be that bad. It can’t be.

(Emma hates change.)

“Oh.” Tink jumps when she sees Emma, pink rising on her cheeks, “Mr. Jones, I’d like you to meet Emma Swan.”

The guy’s shoulders tense before he turns around, and Emma’s eyes are immediately hit by the blue, which is even more insane closer up. So is the brightness of the smile that seems to stretch all the way up to his eyes.

He better be a damn good cook.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, love,” he drawls out, the thickness of his British accent curling around his tongue. “Killian Jones, at your service.”

Emma forces a smile and nods her head as she reaches forward to shake his hand. “Emma Swan. Welcome to The Morning Show.”

“I’m glad to be here. Any tips for my time here? Who likes to steal food off the table? Anyone absolutely hate any certain kind of food? Anyone I should avoid?”

Emma releases his hand and cocks her head to the side, trying to size him up. “Just cook the food and smile for the camera when you’re supposed to, and you’ll be fine. Oh, and don’t expect me to be a good assistant. I’m not at all a chef. I faked it.”

He winks, and Emma has to grit her teeth. This guy is obviously a natural flirt. “That’s because you haven’t cooked with me yet.”

-/-

Killian Jones is even more charming on-camera then he is off of it. She has no idea what kind of television work he’s done in the past, if he’s done any at all, and he is every bit the natural at working the camera and the crowd as he takes her through the steps to make an absolutely fantastic end of the summer barbeque for the end of July that has her having to wipe barbeque sauce off her fingers in the middle of the segment. It’s also got everyone else coming over to check out the food, something that almost never happens, and Emma isn’t entirely sure how she feels about any of it.

It’s good for the show, at least. She knows that. She’ll simply have to get used to a little change every Monday morning.

-/-

“Mom,” Henry moans as he flops down on the couch, “I am starving. What’s for dinner?”

Emma shrugs her shoulders and gets up from her favorite chair in the living room to walk the few feet to the kitchen and the fridge. When she opens it, there’s barely anything inside. It’s half a gallon of milk, some cheese sticks, a bag of carrots, and then leftover lasagna Mary Margaret gave them a week ago. Emma needs to go grocery shopping, but she hasn’t had the chance recently. It’s been a crazy few weeks with work, the month of August and half of September flying by, and grocery shopping has been at the bottom of her list of things to do.

Mom of the year award, honestly. She needs to bite the bullet and pay the surcharge to have her groceries delivered, but the frugalness of growing up in the foster system has never really gone away when it comes to things like that. Expensive shoes? Sure, she can spend a few hundred dollars on that. Paying twenty dollars for a delivery fee? No, absolutely not.

Pulling her bottom lip between her teeth, Emma looks at the complete lack of food in the fridge and decides that eating here is not an option. And she cannot eat takeout Chinese food or pizza again this week. That is not an option her stomach will agree with.

(She is making a change when it comes to their eating habits tomorrow. She swears.)

“How about we go out for dinner, kid?”

Henry sits up from the couch and puts his phone down, which is pretty much a miracle since this is the time that he’s allowed to use it, and he looks so much like Neal in this moment that her heart pangs. Or maybe that’s the consistent amount of junk food. She doesn’t really know.

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah, why not? It’s Friday night, and it’s not like we have anything better to do.”

“I mean, you don’t have anything better to do. I was going to play my game with Avery.” Emma narrows her eyes at him, and Henry holds up his hands in apology. “Sorry, sorry. Where do you want to go?”

“I don’t know. Why don’t you find a place we’ve never been, and we’ll go there?” Henry opens his mouth and Emma holds her finger up. “Within one subway stop of here. I don’t want to traipse across the city. Let me go put on some actual pants, and then we’ll go, okay?”

Henry nods his head before quickly grabbing his phone and looking up restaurants while she walks back down the hallway to her bedroom to change out of her pajamas and into a pair of jeans and a light sweater that will keep the chill away since every restaurant is inevitably freezing. She can’t wait until fall truly rolls around and the temperature dips so that she can walk around all bundled up and no one will say a word.

Of course, this is Manhattan, and no one cares if Emma is walking around in nice, clean clothes or a T-rex suit.

When she’s finished getting ready and has run her hands through Henry’s hair to try to calm it down despite his protests, they leave their apartment, saying goodbye to the doorman Henry has pretty much adopted into their family, and follow the GPS to the restaurant Henry picked out. Emma didn’t look into it too much. All she saw was that it had good reviews and food that Henry would most definitely eat without complaint, and she was good to go.

(Her rumbling stomach really helps her make decisions much more quickly than she would otherwise.)

The place is on a corner lot, black gates cornering off the outdoor tables that all have umbrellas open over them if they’re not already covered by the black awnings that extend over the windows and toward the bubble lights that are brightening the space even with the constant flow of street lights and car headlights that keep passing by.

Sweet William.

“Kid,” Emma hesitates as they wait for the crosswalk light to turn on, “this place is packed. I don’t know if we’re going to be able to eat here.”

Henry tugs on her hand, and she looks down at him to see him smile. “Can we please at least try? The website said we didn’t need reservations, and that it has really good cheeseburgers. And those Alexander drinks that you like.”

“You really shouldn’t know about my alcohol preferences.”

“I know that you really like piña coladas, but you’re always too embarrassed to buy those unless we’re at the beach with Mary Margaret and David.”

Emma huffs and tugs Henry closer to her side so that she can kiss his forehead. “I think you’re too observant for your own good.”

“I thought moms wanted their kids to be smart.”

“We do…to a certain extent.”

The light changes and suddenly there’s a rush of people walking across the street. Emma holds onto Henry out of instinct as they move along with the crowd and walk up to the restaurant. Emma doesn’t expect them to get a table, especially once they walk inside and she can see that all of the tables and booths are full, but she asks the hostess anyway. She gives Emma a tight smile, one that is definitely more annoyed than kind, and then they’re told that it’ll be a forty-minute wait unless they want to sit at the bar. Emma’s fine with that, especially since Henry is insistent on getting one of these cheeseburgers, so they’re quickly guided through the restaurant until they get to the bar in the back and are stuck in the corner on the little swivel chairs.

How in the world has she never heard of this place? It’s obviously popular and in walking distance of her apartment. Emma needs to get out more often, but that’s too much effort.

When in the world did she turn into an old woman?

Probably when she had a kid at eighteen and then began getting up for work far before the sun rises.

Henry catches her up on everything that’s been happening at school in the past week. His friends are all obsessed with some new YouTube blogger that she’s going to have to check out, and his science project is due in two weeks. Emma puts a reminder in her phone over that because they will forget about it, and Henry will come home the night before it’s due so that they have to make a last-minute trip to the store for absolutely everything he needs and neither of them will get any sleep.

“Wait, so what happened with Avery’s mom?” Emma asks Henry as she sips on her diet coke.

“She had to go to the emergency – ”

“Swan!”

Emma’s head flips so quickly at the sound of the familiar accent that she almost gets whiplash, and all of the sudden Killian Jones is standing in front of her behind the bar with a stupid grin on his face. It’s the one that he does whenever he’s made a joke after she spectacularly fails at some kind of cooking thing or spills food on her apron, and Emma is experiencing whiplash in more ways than one.

What the hell is he doing here?

“Jones,” she greets, nodding at him. “What are you doing behind the bar?”

He raises his brows, a signature move of his as she’s learned over their weeks of doing segments, but then they settle back down to their normal place. “You don’t know?”

“Know what?”

“Nothing,” he sighs as he leans forward and rests his elbow on the bar top. “Who’s this young gentleman? Your date for the evening perhaps?”

Heat rushes to Emma’s cheeks, as well as the urge to mutter a few curses, because this is not good. Not good at all. Only a few people at work know about Henry and those people are people who she spends time with outside of work. Those people are her family, bloodlines be damned. They’re not the chef who comes by every Monday morning and attempts to flirt with her while showing her how to make an apple cider bar for fall holiday parties.

Emma opens her mouth to try to save some face, but then Henry is speaking. “Henry Swan. You’re the guy who teaches my mom to cook on TV.” Henry leans forward and nearly knocks over his drink. “You’re not doing a very good job.”

Emma scoffs while Killian leans back with his hand on his chest and his entire face lit up with his laugh. A few people look over to them, but they quickly turn away while Killian keeps chuckling and Emma finds herself at a total loss for words.

Her son just called her a bad cook and also told someone that he’s her son. How in the world does she react to that?

“I’m trying my best, lad,” Killian chuckles, wiping away a tear from his eye, “but your mum is very much a beginner. Maybe if they let me come in for her show more often, I could help her out more.”

“Maybe,” Henry shrugs. “Do you work here?”

“Aye, I do. This is my restaurant.”

She hopes the floor is clean because Emma’s jaw is about to drop there.

Of all of the restaurants in this city, Henry had to pick this one.

“Cool, so you make the cheeseburgers? The reviews online say they’re really good.”

Killian looks at her, his eyes wide, and Emma realizes that he’s silently asking for her permission to keep talking to Henry. She doesn’t know how she knows that, but she does. Nodding, she tilts her head back toward Henry.

“I have other chefs that help me out,” Killian continues, “which is why I get to come out here and talk to you guys, but I did come up with the recipe for it. Is that what you ordered?”

“Yep. Mom ordered a salad and is making me eat part of it.”

“Ah, well, vegetables are important, and I promise that my salads are good salads.”

“I’ll believe it when I taste it.”

Emma snorts and hides her smile behind her drink while Killian looks back at her and moves his brows across his face. She didn’t know he could have this long of a conversation without flirting.

“Do you two want a table?” Killian asks them as he tugs up the sleeve of his shirt, and not for the first time, she notices the red scars that stretch up his left hand and arm. “I know we’re busy in here tonight, but I think I have a little pull to get you a table.”

“Thank you, but I think we’re fine. Right, kid?”

“As long as I get my cheeseburger, I’d sit in the bathroom and be happy.”

Sometimes Emma forgets that Henry is a ten-year-old boy who still finds the occasional fart funny and that he doesn’t have a great sense of hygiene, and then he says something like that to bring her back to earth and reminds herself that her kid is, indeed, a kid.

Killian stays and talks to them for a few minutes before he’s called off to sign some papers and disappears behind a set of double doors that Emma assumes lead to the kitchen. They don’t see or hear from him again that night, though their food gets to them much more quickly than most everyone else at the bar. Henry absolutely devours the cheeseburger, barely taking a bite of any of the vegetables that she puts in front of him, but she doesn’t expect anything less. Her salad is really good, though. She usually hates any salad that she has to eat (the pressure of being on TV and all), but she actually enjoys it tonight.

Even after she asks for the bill, and she’s told by the bartender that their check has already been paid and that they have a to-go box of a blueberry cobbler waiting for them at the front of the restaurant.

Emma is a sucker for any kind of cobbler or pie.

Henry seems to think that this has been the coolest night of his life, and she took him to Disney World in June after years of begging.

When Monday morning rolls around, Emma is as exhausted as ever, and she muddles through her routine of hair and makeup before rolling out onto the set and plastering a smile on her face that matches everyone else’s as they banter back and forth about their weekends. It’s fine, normal as ever, and then Emma is being shuffled over to the kitchen set in between takes where she sees Killian already in his show-provided apron.

Shit.

She forgot about this? How could she? It’s been a part of her routine for eight weeks now.

“Morning, love,” he greets, grin on his face. “Fancy seeing you here.”

She huffs and grabs her apron before tying it around her waist. “We obviously can’t stay away from each other’s places of business. What are we cooking today?”

“Healthy, easy meals that work perfect for leftovers for your kid’s lunch the next day.”

Emma’s heartbeat quickens, and she quickly looks around to see that everyone is distracted watching David and Mary Margaret go over some viral video. “Hey, so don’t mention Henry on air, okay? I never meant for you to meet him, and I don’t…he’s the best part of my life, but I like to keep my home life and work life separate.”

Killian nods and walks a little closer to her so that he sways into her space, his hand lingering close to hers. “I assumed as much, love. I promise you that I won’t mention him, and believe it or not, this was planned before I knew about your boy.”

“Yeah, you’re definitely a liar.”

He shrugs. “A liar who bought your dinner and gave you a complimentary dessert because I heard you were a fan of cobblers and all things in the pie family.”

“You know, just because you buy me dinner doesn’t mean I’m going to start liking you.” Killian winks before waggling those damn brows again, and Emma has to bite back her laugh. “Don’t think I’m taking my eyes off you for a second.”

“I would despair if you did.”

-/-

As the weeks go on and summer officially fades into fall, Emma continues to stick to her routines as all of the new parts of it become a little more normal. She wakes up early, occasionally getting to the gym before work but most of the time right after she finishes, goes to work to spend a few hours talking, and then runs errands before picking up Henry from school and spending her afternoon with him. Sometimes Ruby or Mary Margaret and David come over and on occasion Will takes Henry to the batting cages to practice his batting stance, but other than that, things are all the same.

Well, mostly.

She has gotten better about buying groceries more often (hello grocery delivery even with the delivery prices) and attempting to cook so that they can order less takeout, and Henry complains about her cooking a hell of a lot less.

(She really isn’t that bad.)

The one big change, however, is that every Friday night she and Henry wander a few blocks over to Sweet William to get dinner. It started out as an accident, mostly Emma craving a cheeseburger after going to a Pilates class that absolutely kicked her ass, and the two of them found themselves sitting at the corner of the bar again. That quickly changed as the hostess moved them to a booth that has comfortable seats and enough space to fit a few more people. Emma insisted that the bar is fine, but she was told that the owner insists that the two of them sit there.

(Henry is convinced that having a special table for him is the greatest thing in existence, and who knew that being treated specially at a restaurant would be such a huge thing for Henry?)

It goes like that every Friday night. She and Henry go to Sweet William, sitting at the same booth that is always reserved for them, and the two of them make it a challenge to try as many things on the menu as they can. Killian always comes out and sits with them for a few minutes, smelling of a mixture of foods that he doesn’t usually smell of on The Morning Show set, and he’s as charming as he always is.

Emma doesn’t trust it.

Except for the fact that she kind of does.

This is a coworker who is being kind to her and her son. He’s not doing anything untoward, and he’s not asking her for something. Not at all. Killian is simply being nice, entertaining Henry’s questions about what it’s like to be a professional chef and what it’s like to be on TV. Emma scoffs at that, telling Henry that she is literally on TV far more often than Killian is, but he doesn’t seem to care about any of that.

Professional chef obviously trumps Mom.

They learn that Killian moved to New York from London five years ago to open this restaurant after needing a change of scenery and getting all of the right paperwork and that he stumbled into working on The Morning Show because his restaurant manager saw the opening and applied for him as some kind of joke that ended up working out. In turn, Emma shares the story of meeting David when he came to visit the local news station she was working in and how that he offered her the opportunity to start working for the network. It took a bit of convincing, but she and Henry moved from Maine to Manhattan and had a bit of culture shock.

They love it.

The conversation never really seems to stop flowing, not at Friday night dinners and not during the Monday morning segments that keep on getting better and better as Emma becomes honestly comfortable bantering with Killian as she devours all of the food that he cooks. Ruby teases her about it, making far too many inappropriate jokes involving eating, and it only gets worse when there’s a stack of papers on Emma’s desk with printed off tweets talking about how many people look forward to having Emma and Killian working together.

“They ship you,” Ruby explains as she paints red lipstick onto Emma’s lips the day after a particularly funny Halloween segment where Killian made all of the food look both delicious and disgusting in all of its gory and spooky goodness.

“What in the world does that mean?”

“You have a ten-year-old. How do you not know what that means?”

“I think it’s a relationship thing, and he’s not interested in those, which I’m thankful for.”

“He will be,” Ruby promises, and Emma swears that doesn’t make her sentimental. “And shipping is, like, when you want two people to be together.”

Emma almost jolts forward in the chair, but she’s working particularly hard at not moving. She will not react to that. “That’s just weird.” “Eh, kind of, but also not really. You two are ridiculously hot and also have great chemistry together. I get it. Part your lips for me.”

Emma completely and totally pushes that entire conversation to the back of her mind as she finishes getting ready for work and spends her morning doing a Ninja Warrior course with a five-year-old who is a million times better than her at it. It’s actually ridiculous, and she really shouldn’t have worn tight jeans for this.

Not the best outfit choice. At least she got to wear sneakers and a sports bra. It probably would have been disastrous otherwise.

So things are changing, but even the new routines become actual routines, which is exactly what throws Emma for a loop when Henry asks her if he can spend the night with Avery Friday night. She says yes after checking in with Avery’s mom, and after dropping Henry off with his backpack and a promise to see him at noon tomorrow, Emma goes back to an empty apartment that never seems quite right when Henry isn’t around.

Emma’s all about her alone time, something she doesn’t get a lot of even with Henry getting older, but she’s thrown by not having him with her tonight. What does she do? Treat herself to a spa night? She doesn’t really need one. Her job pretty much keeps her pampered all the time. Maybe she could read a book? Or watch a new TV show? But what TV show? There are so many that she’s behind on, and she wouldn’t even know where to begin.

Food would probably be a good start.

And without really thinking about it, Emma grabs her purse, zips up her boots, and walks out the door of her apartment to find herself at she and Henry’s usual Friday night spot, the little reserved sign with their names waiting for them.

Except she’s by herself.

Until someone is sliding a piña colada in front of her and then sitting across from her in the booth.

“How in the world do you know that I like these?”

Killian grins, one of those dumb ones that reaches his eyes and makes them crinkle. “Your boy told me that you love them but that you have some ridiculous hang up about ordering them.”

“They’re not on your menu.”

“I know a guy.” Killian nods his head toward her. “Where is the lad tonight?”

Emma hums and takes a sip of her drink. It’s freaking fantastic, and she’s got to thank Henry for spilling her secrets to Killian. Or, at least, that one secret. “He is spending the night with a friend, so he abandoned me to eat by myself.”

“Kids, they betray us all.”

“You’ve been betrayed by a kid?”

“No. I find myself to be too charming.”

She snorts, not really meaning to. “Don’t get too full of yourself, Jones. One day you’ll probably have children, and they will betray you.”

He reaches up to scratch behind his ear. “Eh, I don’t know about that.”

“What? You don’t want kids?”

Wow, Emma. Just go for the personal, why don’t you?

“Don’t answer that,” she blurts out. “That’s too personal of a question, and I should have never asked it.”

Killian reaches over and places his hand over hers on the table, warmth spreading up over her arm. “It’s fine, Swan. I don’t find you intrusive. I think I’d like kids someday, but I’m thirty-four now, not seeing anyone I see a future with, and my relationship history isn’t the best.”

“I can understand that.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m a twenty-eight-year-old single mother to a ten-year-old. Do the math.”

Killian smiles and reaches up to adjust the collar of his shirt so that she can see a flash of dark chest hair and the slightest bit of ink. “Aye, I know. I didn’t want to presume. Is Henry’s dad – ”

“He doesn’t know that he exists,” Emma blurts out before downing far too much of her drink. This is too sweet for large gulps like that but really damn good. “I never got the chance to tell him. I was seventeen with no resources except for a slightly sympathetic foster mom and a part-time job as a video editor at a local news station, and Neal just disappeared into thin air one night.”

“What a bastard.”

“You’re telling me,” Emma scoffs. “It’s why I asked you not to say anything about Henry. I’m not ashamed of him. He’s the best thing to ever happen to me. I just…”

“You don’t want Neal to try to come back now that you’ve made a bit of a name out of yourself,” Killian finishes for her, and for the first time in all of the times that she’s told this story, someone understands. “I left London because my brother died in a Naval accident, and my long-term girlfriend left me because my grief was too much for her. She tried to contact me for the same reason the other day. On some level, I understand you even if I know having a child makes things more complicated.”

Emma’s heart absolutely pangs. Sharing tragic backstories and the scars on her heart is not her thing, but something about this man makes the words nearly flow out of her without hesitation. It’s not something she’s used to, not in the slightest.

“What was his name?”

“Liam. He, well, he’d call me a bloody idiot for naming this place after him and after the flower. It was my mum’s favorite, most likely why she named Liam what she did even if we never called him William. I thought it was a great way to honor them both, especially since they’re the people who taught me how to cook.”

“It was.”

Killian tightly smiles before lifting up his hand to wave a server down. “Though, I had a miserable experience with a dish gone wrong that nearly burned down my kitchen and took off my entire arm, so I’m not sure how great of teachers they actually were.”

“You have a restaurant that’s always packed, so I’d say they did a pretty good job.”

He leans forward as a server gets closer to them, and heat does not curl in Emma’s stomach when Killian winks. Not at all. “Or maybe I’m simply that naturally gifted, darling.” She opens her mouth to say something, but then Killian is turning away. “Wendy, can you tell everyone in the back that I’ll be dining out here tonight? Miss Swan is just about to help me come up with our seasonal menu since she has a real thumb on what the public wants.”

“Yes, sir, I can do that.”

Emma arches her brow. “Just invite yourself to my dinner, why don’t you?”

“Would it make it up to you if I pay?”

“You always pay. Every employee in this place refuses to take anything other than a tip from both me and Henry.”

“Huh, wonder why that is.”

They spend the next few hours picking apart the menu, arguing back and forth over food and drink preferences and the pros and cons of classics and specialties, and Emma has never laughed so hard over food. In fact, she’s never laughed so hard in her entire life. She’s spent so much time with this man but usually in short spurts, so she’s never actually gotten to see what he’s like or learn too much about him. He’s still quick to make an innuendo and slow to accept changes or any kind of criticism to the menu, but by the time the restaurant is closed and all of the tables are cleared, they’ve figured something out.

And had a few too many drinks that have her laughing even more.

They also have her accepting Killian’s offer to sleep in his guest bedroom in his apartment upstairs. She should say no, should not at all be accepting an offer like that when she has a perfectly good place ten minutes away, but she’s tired and the thought of getting to bed soon feels too good to pass up.

Her routine changes just a little bit more, and she embraces it for once in her life.

The alcohol makes it be a little less terrifying.

-/-

Killian does an entire segment on pies on the show Monday morning.

He says that it’s for Thanksgiving, but she knows that it’s for her.

He also adds more to the menu at Sweet William.

-/-

After that night, Henry starts inviting Killian over to the apartment for cooking lessons, claiming that both he and Emma could learn to be a little better so that they could eat more than one good meal a week, but Emma knows that there’s some kind of ulterior motive in Henry. There’s a sparkle in those brown eyes of his, and even though he claims that he wants to cook (as much as a ten-year-old can), he always seems to find himself in the living room so that Emma is left with just Killian.

Sneaky kid.

Who gets even sneakier when he invites Killian to Thanksgiving dinner with them. Emma was going to do it. She honestly was, but Henry beat her to it. And that’s exactly how Emma shows up at David and Mary Margaret’s house on Thanksgiving with Henry, Killian Jones, and three pies.

Every single person there is thoroughly intrigued and confused.

Emma is too.

She doesn’t bring men to holidays. She doesn’t bring men around at all. And she especially doesn’t bring men around who sit with their arm around her shoulder or who press their hand lightly into the small of Emma’s back as they stand in the kitchen and debate the different types of dressings to go with turkey.

Except that’s exactly what is happening here, and it sends a little thrill down Emma’s spine that she can’t quite place.

(She can, but it’s almost too terrifying to do that.)

Killian knows most everyone from his mornings on the show, so Emma doesn’t spend her time trying to ease him into things. He does that completely on his own and charms everyone the way that he always does even if she sees him scratch behind his ear, which is undeniably his nervous tick. And hopefully, just hopefully, no one is asking him a million questions like she’s getting asked about whether or not the two of them are dating and does he know that a weird section of the internet ships them?

They’re not, and he does. They laugh about it over wine and Emma’s really gross lasagna on the nights Killian has off from the restaurant.

The day passes in a blur of football and too much food, and before Emma can even blink, the three of them are packing up leftovers and getting an Uber back to Emma’s apartment. Henry crashes as soon as they get there, mumbling something about being too exhausted to take off his shoes, and then he disappears into his room while Killian puts the Tupperware containers into the fridge.

“You don’t have to do that,” she tells him before adjusting her shirt from where it wrinkled. “I can do it.”

“It’s fine, love,” he insists and he puts the leftover apple pie away next to the one he made for her to stay here. “Should we get some coffee and watch a movie? Are you one of those who is ready to celebrate Christmas already?”

“The turkey has been eaten, Jones. It’s time for Christmas. If I didn’t feel like I was dying from overeating and having to talk to people all day, we’d be out getting a Christmas tree right now.”

“Would I be the one carrying it?”

“You know it.”

“It would be my pleasure. I think the pine would mask the smell of kitchen on me.”

Emma turns the coffee maker on, and while it percolates, she starts straightening up the kitchen, putting away dishes in the dishwasher and wiping down countertops, but since they cooked (they being mostly Killian) in the kitchen of Killian’s restaurant, there’s not much to clean up. It’s what has her looking at Killian as he stares down at his phone, fingers typing away a message before the screen goes black and he’s placing it in his back pocket and looking at Emma with the softest smile that she’s ever seen.

And maybe it’s the wine or maybe it’s that she’s feeling good…hell, maybe it’s because Emma wants to do something for herself for a change. Maybe it’s that her reasons don’t matter. All she knows is that she’s stepping forward and pressing her palms to Killian’s cheeks and kissing him.

She’s kissing him.

He doesn’t kiss back, not at first. There’s a bit of a grunt, one that doesn’t necessarily sound pleasant, but then his hands are pressing against her back and his lips are moving over hers while he backs them across the kitchen until the sharp edge of her counter is hitting her back. His kiss is warm and tastes of apple and cinnamon and quite possibly a bit of the rum he had right before they left. Emma groans when his teeth nibble down onto her and his hand snakes up underneath her shirt so that she can feel the heat of his palm.

Everything about him is warm and inviting, and as his tongue runs over the seam of her lips and she parts her mouth for him, Emma realizes that it’s been like that the entire time, even when she was upset with him simply for replacing Chef Rudianni and daring to be something different.

Emma almost likes different now.

No, she does. When it’s the right kind of different and a change that she’s okay making.

Killian pulls back, and Emma realizes that they’re both panting, foreheads pressed together and noses squishing into each other’s cheeks. Emma nearly giggles at the thought of her having beard burn.

She’s the height of maturity. She also doesn’t care. It’s been a long time since she’s felt like this.

“That was,” Killian breathes out.

“Definitely happening again,” she smiles before kissing him again.

Little by little they manage to make it out of the kitchen and back to Emma’s bedroom, both of them careful not to make any noise so as not to wake Henry, and once the door is locked behind them, clothes are shed and Killian’s lips run across her body, whispering words that sound sweeter than anything else, until he’s driving her into madness in a way that she hasn’t felt in years.

Maybe not ever.

The good changes keep on coming.

(So does Emma.)

-/-

Henry barely bats an eye when Killian is there to make them breakfast in the morning even though Emma is more than sure to make sure everything stays appropriate for him. She’s not really sure how to navigate dating around Henry, and when she asks him if he’s okay with she and Killian being together, he tells her that he wants her to be happy.

He also says that he wants to keep getting free cheeseburgers.

-/-

A year later, Killian names the cheeseburger at his restaurant after Henry.

The piña colada is named after Emma.

-/-

Every Monday morning and every Friday night turns into every day, and Emma is more than okay with that change.

#every monday morning #cs fic #cs ff #captain swan fic #captain swan

148 notes · View notes

malecftw · 5 years

Note

Your writing is AMAZING, I love it! Do you think you could do something where the reader and Shawn never get into fights, but they do over something dumb and the reader starts crying and Shawn feels bad so he drops whatever it is they are fighting about?!

A/N: So I had to rewrite the entire thing since it got deleted when proofreading why am I such a dumbass. Anywhooo thank you nonnie for requesting this. Hope you like it, don’t hesitate to let me know ;)

I’ve started up various taglists so if you want to be tagged in my future work shoot me a message or hit up my ask box. Please include which taglist you want to be added to specifically.

Word count: 1670

Warnings: angst, argument, cursing, idk if you can give a warning for fluff but... FLUFFFFFF

Masterlist.

Taglist: @shawn-youth

I rolled my eyes at Shawn’s words, causing him to get even more annoyed with me. ‘Yeah y/n. You roll your eyes at me. You have nothing to defend yourself with anyway.’ He stood on the other side of the kitchen, leaning against the stove and looking at me angrily. ‘Shawn I just asked if you could do some more chores. I’m literally doing everything here.’ I said, not willing to continue the argument but also not ready to back down.

‘Everything except for actually working and earning money.’ He muttered quietly, but still loud enough for me to hear. His eyes immediately turned sorrowful but he knew the damage was done and it was too late to take his words back. It struck a nerve. It’s been a sensitive subject for me ever since I started living with him. I was currently finishing up my last year at university as a science major. The only reason why I hadn’t gotten a job yet because Shawn assured me I didn’t have to.

He said he earned enough money for me to focus on my education and future, knowing the added stress of a job would burn me out since I was already drowning in papers, exams, and classes. He constantly reassured me, saying he didn’t mind, that my future was important to him. Not once had he made a comment that led me to believe he was insincere about this subject. It didn’t free me of the guilt that was gnawing at my soul though.

Every single time I bought something nice for myself or went out with friends, this little voice in the back of my mind told me I was being ungrateful. I was brought up to always be grateful for the things I receive or the gifts of others and I made sure I showed my gratitude to Shawn every chance I got. That’s why his comment hit me so hard.

‘Nice one Shawn, nice one...’ I said disappointed as I took my coat off of the coat hanger. He stalked over to me instantly when he realized what I was doing. ‘Y/n come on. We both said things we didn’t mean. Come on, don’t do this you know I didn’t mean it I was just angry.’ He said without taking a breath. I looked up at him, tears already threatening to spill over. ‘You may not have meant it, but you knew how much I struggle with that subject and you still decided to use it against me.’

I slowly tore my arm out his big hand and took a step towards the door. ‘Don’t worry, I have my phone on me, I’ll call you if something's wrong. Just don’t... Don’t flood my phone okay.’ ‘Just please tell me you’ll come back?’ Shawn asked. We’d both made a deal at the beginning of the relationship to never go to bed without clearing up a fight or argument. Now he was looking to see if I’d break that promise. I didn’t trust my voice so I just nodded before turning my back to him. Shawn bowed his head down in defeat, knowing the best thing now was to leave me be with my thoughts to figure things out.

I didn’t look back to him when I closed the door of our condo, allowing the tears to fall freely and without shame, as I made it out of the building.I started jogging when I got outside, the sharp wind slapping me across the face. It didn’t take me long to reach my destination considering it was right around the corner from our building.

As I entered, the waitress shot me a worried smile and allowed me to sit down and collect myself before coming over to take my order. ‘The usual please.’ I said, avoiding her gaze. I was no stranger here. Usually, Shawn accompanied me though. I used to drag him along with me because I loved the place so much. Until one day it had finally grown on him enough for him to come here by himself on the days I had class and couldn’t join him. I’m guessing it was pretty obvious he was the reason for my red, teary eyes. I don’t think I’ve come here without him in the past year, not counting the times he was on tour. Usually, when he was touring I didn’t really come here that much, the entire place reminding me of too many lunch dates that my heart couldn’t handle.

I looked outside, observing a dark cloud that was flooding over the city. It looked like something out of an apocalyptic movie. Shawn was definitely going to be worried about me being outside in this kind of weather, he never stopped worrying about me.

Not too long after I’d placed my order, the waitress approached me. She put down my favorite tea on the wooden table, accompanied by a cake pop that strongly resembled the head of a little kitten. It was a cute sight really but I looked up at the girl questioningly. ‘That one’s on me. I figured you could use a little pick me up.’ She said smiling. I didn’t really know what to say, surprised by her random act of kindness so I thanked her and made sure to remind myself to leave her a nice tip when I left.

The warm, sweet taste of the tea made it down my throat, warming my insides and I immediately felt better. I knew Shawn hadn’t meant what he’d said, but it still hurt. I don’t know if he realized how much of a big deal the money thing is to me. I hate being dependent although he’d never view it like that. My education was a temporary situation and in turn also a temporary problem, yet I couldn’t help but think about our future.

Like any relationship, ours was completely based on trust. Maybe even more so than a normal relationship. Having a boyfriend that toured the world wasn’t really a regular thing so if we didn’t have full trust in one another we would’ve been over a long time ago.

After a while, I decided to message Shawn. This was stupid. I asked him to meet me here and started a timer on my phone, from the second I’d sent him the message to the second he’d arrive. I knew him, it wouldn’t take long before I’d see his beautiful face and kind smile walking through the door and I was right.

He looked at me and smiled as he went to sit down, shooting the waitress and grin as he acknowledged her. He looked hesitant and a short silence overtook us before I spoke up. ‘7 and a half minutes. I believe that’s a record, Mr. Mendes.’ I laughed lightly, trying to set the tone for the rest of the evening. He looked surprised, most certainly not expecting that kind of welcome as he eyed the numbers on the phone I held up in front of him.He quickly regained his composure though and played along. ‘Well, Miss. Y/L/N. If a pretty girl calls, you answer.’ He said smirking when he saw my rosy cheeks as a reaction to his compliment.

The mood turned a bit more serious when the memories of our fight flooded back to him. ‘Y/n I...’ He started but he got interrupted. The waitress that served me earlier was now standing at our table with a genuine smile on her face. ‘I didn’t want to disturb you two so I just got you your usual order.’ She said as she carefully placed a cup of black coffee in front of Shawn accompanied by another cake pop. Shawn had the same questioning expression on his face that I’d had earlier and I laughed silently when the girl said: ‘It’s on the house.’ His mouth slightly formed an O-shape and the waitress looked at me smirking. Shawn quickly thanked her, making sure she realized how much he appreciated the gesture before returning back to the conversation after she left.

‘I’m sorry y/n. I know it doesn’t mean much because what’s done is done but I can 100% say I didn’t mean what I said. Truth is I had nothing on you so I used that as the worst most pathetic and untrue argument. And a lie on top of it all. I know how hard you work and not a day goes by that I’m not the proudest boyfriend alive. If I could take it back I would.’ He rambled trying to get every word out at the same time.

I took his hand in mine, trying to stop his word vomit. ‘Look, Shawn. We both messed up. We both said things we don’t mean and we both could’ve handled things differently. I was just stressed out cause of all the papers I have to finish but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you and that’s no excuse. We’re a team and we work best as one. I’m sorry the entire argument happened because honestly, it was stupid it’s already cringing me out thinking back to it.’

Shawn sighed in relief, taking a sip of his coffee before speaking again. ‘Y/n I totally understand how rough it must be to tackle a heavy education like that and so much housework. If you tell me which chores to do I will do them. Just one thing... Please please please don’t make me do laundry because we will end up with toddler socks and white shirts gone pink.’

At that, I laughed out loud. Seeing Shawn so insecure about something as simple as doing the laundry was adorable. I got closer to him and grinned. ‘Fine. No laundry. Wouldn’t want you and the washing machine stressing each other out.’ Shawn laughed and shook his head.

From a distance the waitress was looking at you two, smirking at the sight of both of you laughing.

Cake pops could cure any sadness.

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes x reader #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes angst

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migleefulmoments · 5 years

Note

“she had to know she was making a sacrifice and all that comes with it. Not the same as a rape victim. gross comparison” I’m the one who initially made this analogy and it’s not what I meant AT ALL. I don’t mean the emotional pain is similar, some online bullying vs. sexual assault aren’t even on the same wavelength. I mean THEIR comments are similar. They blame her the same way people tell women they deserved unwanted attention because of what they were doing/wearing. Way to twist my words.

Like I can’t tell if they genuinely believe all of that or if they’re just that oblivious and/or dense. I was comparing them to victim blamers. That’s what they do.

**********************************

Your point was clear-Nonnie was either obtuse or purposefully trolling to stir things up. I will add that most of their followers are teens. The point might have been lost on them.

Let’s start by with your original ask and my response:

Anonymous Asked: “M put herself in the spotlight “dating” D. If she didn’t want that attention, she would have stayed in the background” this has the same energy as “you chose to wear that, you deserved to be catcalled”. Mia STAYS in the background for the most part. Posing on a red carpet gives us no insight into who she is. They literally seek her out on her friends socials. And they met well before his career took off so no, she probably didn’t expect it to turn into this

Me: Their attitude- that Mia deserves to be attacked and criticized because she fell in love with a man who then became famous and whom they have a crush on makes my skin crawl. It is like the “wear a short skirt and you deserve being raped”. It’s also how they justify their abysmal behavior. They went on to argue that Mia deserves criticism but Abby isn’t dating a famous man so she didn’t deserve the “awful attack”. They like to bring up the Fame is Other People (X) interview Mia gave in 2016 where she says she never imagined herself with someone famous. They still ridicule her for not leaving Darren the minute he started getting famous. It’s so fucked up.

Now their conversation today

Anonymous asked: They're comparing people saying M chose to forgo privacy when she "fell in love" with D to people getting accused of deserving rape for wearing short skirts. Uhhh...NOT THE SAME THING but ok. I personally don't condone hating on anyone (I never publicly disparage M for example, despite my private thoughts) but by tying her life to a public figure, whether for love or not, she had to know she was making a sacrifice and all that comes with it. Not the same as a rape victim. Gross comparison.

cassie1022 answered: Nonnie, I’m not even surprised they went there. They’re vile, just like their kween. I don’t hide my feelings about M and I’m not going to, she absolutely knew what she was getting when she signed on to be D’s beard. She WANTS the attention, and as she’s a narcissist, she doesn’t care if it’s positive or negative attention.

notes-from-nowhere answered: Hold on. Why are we talking about M as if the notoriety had fallen on her head all of a sudden? It’s not because of D if she is known by others besides her parents. It’s because she pushes herself in front of him every chance she gets. She take away from him every merit often by making things looks like they come from her brain (Hedwig first for example) and she jumps on the red carpets even before he does. She shares her whole life through social media. D’s accounts, her friends’s accounts, enablers’s accounts. Her fake accounts. She tags in her posts every celebrity that crosses her path. Her only job in life seems to be open (and never close) social media accounts.

What are these people even talking about? Now we reached the point of denying even what she does so she can fits better their theories?

This is hilarious. I swear.

leka-1998 answered: Poor girl, forced to do all this.

I don’t even want to waste time thinking about how ridiculous it is that this behavior isn’t surprising.

flowersintheattic254 answered: I’m appalled at the comparison. God her fans are hypocrites. She wants notoriety via any means fair or foul and then screams victim if it’s questioned.

It’s the same argument that she is above criticism because she’s woman and therefore isn’t accountable for her actions.

Let’s remember V day. Nobody told her to get high with B in the PR house and post those pics. You reap what you sow. People smell fakeness and she reaks of it.

***************************

One thing I learned very quickly when answering anons is that due diligence pays off. Responding to an anon’s summary of what someone else said can backfire if they misrepresent what was said. If the anon reports something untoward was said- whether by design or by mistake- and I spent 2 paragraphs berating that statement that was never said then I am the fool. Taking 5 minutes to read the post myself has paid off many times and every time I have taken something I know nothing about at face value- it’s bitten me in the ass. Had any of the ccers bothered to actually read the post they would have realized that Nonnie misrepresented the point. They still would have written something angry and pretended to be so “shocked” by how “vile” we are but at least they would have had a shot at not being the fool.

--------------------- My comments in Italics; they are in regular font

Cassie:

Nonnie, I’m not even surprised they went there. They’re vile, just like their kween. Nobody has ever said anything on my blog that could be construed as Mia is our kween. I don’t really understand the value of bringing up things nobody said as part of one’s argument. It’s proof of how desperate they are to be right and how easily they bend the truth to fit their needs. They wouldn’t know how to be authentic and honest if their lives depended on it.

I don’t hide my feelings about M and I’m not going to, she absolutely knew what she was getting when she signed on to be D’s beard. She WANTS the attention, and as she’s a narcissist, she doesn’t care if it’s positive or negative attention. It’s hilarious that Nonnie claimed she doesn’t disparage Mia publically as part of their argument as to why they are better than us but Cassie being the charmer that she is, responds with “I don’t hide my feelings about M and I’m not going to”. I could argue that Cassie knew what she signed on for when she started her crisscolfer blog-she even shares her cc beliefs on her Twitter!

She WANTS the attention, and as she’s a narcissist, she doesn’t care if it’s positive or negative attention I find it so odd that Cassie is diagnosing Mia with mental illness yet just yesterday she was raging that Metaloma and I diagnose Abby. Hypocrite much? It is mind-boggling that she believes Mia is a narcissist but can’t see that Abby actually is. I bet the Abby-less Crisscolfer fandom will find Mia isn’t nearly as narcissistic and evil without Abby to write the storyline and talk about her nonstop.

Personally, I’ve decided I don’t care enough to look at their blogs anymore and when I get their mean as hell Anons, I’m blocking. They claim we’re obsessed with their blogs when they literally dissect every post we make. Someone’s obsessed. It’s not us. Not reading my blog was a critical mistake because she would have realized that Nonnie was misconstruing the comment. Did someone claim they are obsessed with our blogs- I certainly didn’t- or is this another one of those claims that never happened?

---------------------

Notes:

Hold on. Why are we talking about M as if the notoriety had fallen on her head all of a sudden? Nobody is talking as if notoriety had fallen on her head all of the sudden. Notes would have really benefited from reading the original post because neither Notes or I have a clue what post she is responding to.

It’s not because of D if she is known by others besides her parents. It’s because she pushes herself in front of him every chance she gets. She take away from him every merit often by making things looks like they come from her brain (Hedwig first for example) and she jumps on the red carpets even before he does. I love the trope that she jumps in front of him on every red carpet because it proves how willing they are to outright lie to get their message across. She literally stands with Darren in front of the photographers for a couple of seconds at the end of Darren’s allowed period. Darren poses for dozens of photos and we see 2 or 3 pics of Mia and Darren-that is hardly jumping on the carpet before he does. As for taking away every merit- omg give it up. This is one of the dumbest tropes the fandom hangs on to. Mia WAS Hedwig before Darren was -the Halloween picture is around somewhere. Mia didn’t make the statement her friend did. We know the ccers don’t understand friendships but when they get pissed about the Hedwig comment they should refer to this post (X) where they declared “Just like I 100% stand with @ajw720,” and “I support @ajw720, I don’t believe Mi@rren is real and you cannot silence us!!!!”. Friends say things about other friends to connect with that person and show support. They weren’t trying to diss Darren. They never intended rabid Darren fans to even SEE the post-it was intended for their friends and nobody else.

She shares her whole life through social media. THIS IS my FAVORITE comment of all. WTF? Where does Mia share her whole life through social media? Cuz I’d love to see it! The fact is, you are lying...you’re just outright lying. Mia shares nothing via social media. She stopped her Twitter when she quit playing music and she has a private IG account.

D’s accounts, her friends’s accounts, enablers’s accounts. Her fake accounts. She tags in her posts every celebrity that crosses her path. Her only job in life seems to be open (and never close) social media accounts. Darren’s accounts? If Mia had control of Darren’s accounts, Mia would be plastered all over it but in reality, neither Darren nor Mia is active on public social media and they certainly aren’t sharing their lives. Nobody uses their friends’ accounts to plaster themselves. God, this trope is so stupid. Enabler’s accounts? Who the hell are her enablers? Where are these enabler posts just full of Mia’s every move? Her “fake accounts” is the best one though. Here we have some random person trolling the cc fandom and they Eat. It. Up. FetusMiarren hasn’t posted since August 11. Who the hell closes social media accounts? The reality is that Abby spent all day every day talking about MIa. The only person promoting Mia full time was Abby. The reason Notes believes that all these accounts are Mia sharing her whole life is because Abby stalked those accounts and then talked about each post for days.

What are these people even talking about? Now we reached the point of denying even what she does so she can fits better their theories? I ask you the same question “What the hell are you talking about?” If you had actually taken the time to read the original post instead of working yourself up to a red-faced, foot-stomping rant, you would know what I was talking about and avoided this ridiculous, off-topic rant-fest.

This is hilarious. I swear. Back at ya!

---------------------

Flowers:

I really love Flower’s response: I’m appalled at the comparison. God her fans are hypocrites-I’m not sure how we are hypocrites because of a valid comparison.

She wants notoriety via any means fair or foul and then screams victim if it’s questioned. Mia didn’t make the comparison- I did. Mia doesn’t know me, she didn’t dictate I made the comparison by “any means foul or fair”

It’s the same argument that she is above criticism because she’s woman and therefore isn’t accountable for her actions. Wait...who in the hell made the argument that she isn’t responsible for her actions because she’s a woman? I’ve seen a lot of fake arguments like this in the last 3 days. Again, I don’t really understand the value of bringing up things nobody ever said as part of one’s argument. It certainly doesn’t lend credibility.

Let’s remember V day. Nobody told her to get high with B in the PR house and post those pics. You reap what you sow. People smell fakeness and she reaks of it. Aaaaannnndddd she wraps up her comment with one of the fandom’s favorite gaslight moments- Valentine’s day with Ben.

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mfackenthal · 5 years

Text

The MFackenthal Show and @maxattack-powell!

banner by @whenyourheartskipsabeat

Hello all! Welcome back to the MFackenthal Show! I am so glad that you are here today. If you’re new to the show, I encourage you to go here to find past episodes. There are only a few.

The MFackenthal Show has officially been green lit for more episodes! We used to only be able to afford to run the show every once in a while, but the people have spoken - they want to see the show more often! The funding came through and we hope to give the people what they want! Do you want to be on the show? Do you have someone that you want to see on the show? If so - reblog or comment or send a message to let MFackenthal know! We’ll see what we can do! We have this show and two others lined up for you!

I could not be more excited to bring you this next guest. She has been with the fandom for quite a while. She was one of the first people I started communicating with on a regular basis. She has talked me up, supported me from the beginning and though she hasn’t written much lately - when she does drop a chapter - it’s long and it’s worth it! Please welcome to the stage @maxattack-powell!!!!! (Insert Cheering here!)

(Megs greets Max with a hug - which means that Megs essentially runs and leaps into Max’s arms. Max is fairly tall and Megs is barely 5′3″)

Megs: Max, I am so happy that you are here! Can you believe that you’re here today?

Max: Haha, yes - I can. But I am honored to be here.

Megs: Max, sit with me. For those in the audience who may not know you, tell us about when and why you joined the fandom.

Max: Yanno, I always made my best guess at this before, but I knew you were going to ask me this - so I looked it up. Did you know that now there’s this Official Tumblr blog called @memories, and it knows down to the minute when someone joined? Let me go check it… *digs through the blogs posts* Okay, it was apparently 07/31/2017 at 1:17:15 PM, which means it must have been on the weekend because of the time of day haha.

As for why ... hmm, well… I found the Choices app one day, when it only had like… three series I think! Anyone else remember that time?

Megs: I do! Because I was playing Hollywood University I think I downloaded choices the day the app came out.

Max: Awh! Well, I fell in love with The Freshman Series. Mostly because of Chris Powell and Zack Zilberg, and a long time ago I was in another fandom that had tons of fan fiction/art… so I googled “Choices Chris Powell” and any other combination I could think of looking for possible fanfiction. The fandom was almost non existent at the time. There was actually one person, who has long since left the fandom due to fandom dramas - we all know the kinds I’m talking about - but a few others had started posting their works as well… and I got hooked. Eventually I felt the bug to write how I felt TF should play out as well, and here I am *looks back at the “joined tumblr timestamp”* uhh… 20ish months ago! Haha!!

Megs: LOL, when you put it that way it doesn’t sound like that long ago ... lets call a spade a spade - that was almost 2 years ago! That’s amazing! You have to have seen so much in this fandom! What is it that keeps you around?

Max: There are so many awesome people in this fandom, in this world we’ve all created for our pixelated loves lol. Soooo many creative minds to follow and enjoy. The content people share, original or repost… it’s great.

... Unfortunately it is also a double edge sword ... the drama, the jealousy, the rumors, the hate, etc. I’ve sadly seen far too much and it comes in so many forms… it’s unnecessary.

Megs: I couldn’t agree more! If you could tell the fandom one thing - what would it be?

Max: It would be that we’re all here because we want to have a good time. No one came here to get ridiculed, to be scrutinized or chastised for their opinions, their likes or dislikes. Real life has enough of that going on. We are all individuals - if you want to be treated nicely, fairly, etc. you must also do the same to others. There is no reason someone must agree with you or anyone else. Live and let live. Embrace our differences as it makes us who we are. Most of the issues I see stem from a simple difference in opinion. That is ridiculous. Everyone’s entitled to their own thoughts. We must build each other up, not tear one another down. No one here owes anyone anything, now go have some fun.

(The room stands up in applause!)

Megs: You should definitely stand up and take a bow, Max!

(Max does just as Megs suggests - but she also makes Megs stand up and do the same. Laughing, they both sit back down.)

Awh, Max ... okay, let’s get back to you. We know that you’d fight anyone for the position of The Chris Powell Appreciation/Fan Club. And for those who don’t know, Max has been retelling the full The Freshman series, interweaving dialogue and plot from PB but also adding much of her own content. MC and Chris get a backstory. Chris gets best friends from back home. What is your favorite piece that you have written?

Max: Oh geez hahaha. Um… can I just say The Freshman Chronicles as a whole? I’ve written for different fandoms, and I have original WIPs but I’ll stick to the Choices fandom for this answer. I’ve put a lot of time into TFC. Tons of additional story work, research on characters and their backgrounds, PBs and my own OCs. You should see my file folder setup haha. It’s crazy… I have so many docs, pictures and gifs. Most organized by location (Hartfeld, Boston, New Haven, Cherryfield, etc.), then by character… and on some I get more detailed and split them by emotion and situation.

Megs: By what again?

Max: Emotion and Situation ... Yeah. I warned you it was crazy! *laughs* TFC was the reason I joined tumblr really. Instead of staying a Nonny and only reading others posted works. I wanted to comment, like and reblog what I enjoyed, while I also worked on my own contribution to the fandom. I had a vision for Chris and MC that had more than the game could give, and I wanted to see if i was still any good at writing since it had been years and years… it’s funny to see how different my current posts are from my first over a year ago. Makes me want to go update a few because they could use a little help *awkward laugh*

Megs: I’m sure we can all relate to that! Hmmm ... I’m starting to get a feel for this, I think, but what is your writing process?

Max: Lots of planning, mostly in my head. When I feel like I have a decent concept I might type out some notes or work it into my outline (another crazy thing I have going for TFC because it’s so big haha). But usually, once I hatch out a basic plan on where I’m going… I just start typing. Keeping the general plot and main points I want to hit in mind, I simply start typing… keeping it as organic as possible. It usually works out well.

Megs: Do you have any advice for other writers?

Max: First, and most importantly… do it because you enjoy it. Don’t do it for likes, reblogs, popularity, etc. If you’re having a good time dreaming things up and typing them out, that’s what’s important. The rest is just an extra bonus. Also, don’t give up. It’s easy to become discouraged, frustrated, distracted and more… but remember - your creative cells can’t be running all the time. They need to rest just like your body. Take breaks… go read, play games, hang out with friends/family, watch a movie… whatever. Just do something to help you relax, to reset and you’ll very probably find inspiration and/or motivation to continue. Remember, this is for fun. *wink and finger guns*

Megs: So what do you do for fun?

Max: I actually have a few things I do regularly. A big one is making costumes/props for conventions, small productions, etc. I also train and show horses. I do the same with my dogs, but more for competitions and not really any shows. I’ve always drawn, sculpted, painted since I was old enough to hold things with my hands… and about a year ago I started learning how to do it digitally as well. I run (not at all for fun haha) and play hockey (totally for fun), follow comics and watch anime. I've restored houses, cars and old furniture. I like to read as much as I can - that’s an important one. I also play video games. Something I’ve done since I was young… I've even competed, and won, a few gaming tournaments.

Megs: You don’t know how to be bored do you?

Max: LOL, Megs. Yeah, um, so there’s a “few” *makes air quotes* of my never ending list of interests haha. Gives me a lot to talk about with people, eh?

Megs: Not that I can understand how you’d have time for this ... but what do you do to help pay for your many activities?

Max: Oh like, my job? Well that can be a simple answer… like “I work in software” but the more interesting way to say it is I use my MBA, experience in business, the financial industry and technology to improve and stabilize my customers environment through technological solutions that fit their specific needs. *presses lips together* I solve problems by designing solutions. Bored yet? Hahaha.

Megs: No! That sounds wonderful! Who doesn’t want their stuff to be designed better? Any chance you could start working for tumblr? Some of us have a few complaints ... tags ... mobile losing our work ...

Max: I’m not sure they could pay me enough to help them with all of their problems! But, tumblr, feel free to send me an offer!

Megs: Seriously - send her a 6 figure offer!

Max: Okay, Megs, well now I have a question for you.

Megs: Uhhhh, Max, that’s not exactly how this is supposed to go.

Max: Yeah, don’t care. Your fans need to know ... Hoooow do you find the time to read and review so much?! And I know that’s just in this fandom. I know you read books and you may read for other fandoms!? Seriously, it’s awesome. We need to clock your page flipping speed haha.

Megs: *blushes* Oh my gosh, you have to stop! Here’s the key to how I do it ... I wake up at 5:30am and read for about 30 minutes. Then I workout and start my day. I read in line at the grocery stores. I read on my breaks at work.

Max: Oh my gosh - you’re such a nerd and I love that! Okay, nerd, what is your favorite thing to do, besides reading all the things of course?

Megs: This show, of course! And, of course, getting people to do silly things on this show with me. For instance - with as athletic as you are, I hear you can’t jump?

Max: Megs, shhhhh. You told me you weren’t going to bring that up.

Megs: I did no such thing! (Meg says while laughing) I said I might not bring it up.

Max: Uh huh.

(Kris Kross’s “Jump” starts playing in the studio)

Megs: Come on - show me what you’ve got!

(Megs starts “singing” along and jumping along with the song. Max stays seated. Megs finally pulls Max up into a standing position. Max plays along and “jumps” next to Megs - getting no air at all.)

Oh, come on Max - put some real strength in to it. Jump! Jump! Jump!

(Max jumps and gets the smallest amount of air time.)

Max: *laughing* Megs - I’m tall! I don’t need to jump to reach things!

Megs: *laughing* That must be nice. I got good at this type of jumping because I had to learn to jump up and gently grab things from the grocery so I didn’t knock everything down.

*continuing to jump around the audience - getting everyone to join her* And that’s all for the show today today, folks! Thank you for watching!! Have a great night!

#The Mfackenthal Show #With @maxattack-powell #Official show number 3 #But the 4th interview #Ellen has nothing on me #Oh who are we kidding #I wish I were half as cool as Ellen #She gets paid to do this #I do this for free #But I love it!

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mysteli · 6 years

Text

Heart Strings (Kamilah X MC)

A/N: Hey! So I’m finally finished with another’s Kamilah fic! I love her so much and after the angst in the last one, I felt like she deserved something fluffy. This fic was really fun to write and I recieved this as a suggestion from an anon so thank you, Nonny! I hope this is what you wanted. Also, I’m using the tag list from my last Kamilah fanfic and adding anyone who asked to be tagged on it. Hope you enjoy the fic! 💜

Warning: T

PERMA TAG LIST: @brightpinkpeppercorn @cocomaxley@hopefulmoonobject@alesana45@jellybean-marshmellow@mymandrake@regrettingnathan@dobie2112@princesstopgun@mechaspirit@skyila@mind-reader1 @xo-endlessmayhem-xo@sakaily @justboredtrash@regina-and-happiness@flyawayblue56@annekebbphotography@endlessly-searching-for-you@reginasayeed@zigortega4life@christopher-powell@eileendannie@alesana45@diamondoasis @speedyoperarascalparty @liam-rhys@idonthaveachoice @gayyyyyy69@forgottenl0v3r @choicesfanboy@carlieg20@skydoesntblue @fanfictionreccomendations

This fic: @riseandshinelittleblossom@therocksofmay @ilovekamilahsayeed @tephy24@queerchoicesblog @gavryllo@shanonfernandes @kinda-iconic@satansangellover @hayden-park @countrymusicandncis-blog @psychopathdreamer21 @tigerbryn11 @reginasayeed @lovemeshamelessly @a-meredith @jellymonster @give-me-ernest-sinclaire @demonknightrevelations

Masterlist

As the alarm of the elevator idly goes off, letting everyone know that they’d arrived at another floor, Kamilah straightens out the collar of her rose coloured blazer and the elevator doors slide open, revealing a whole other level of the building she works at. Exhaling softly, she starts down the hallway, avoiding any idle glances of the colleagues that pass her by. She’s moving at a faster speed than usual.

There’s only one person she really wants to see. Elena Harlow.

Kamilah feels like her existence has been going surprisingly well recently and that may only be because of the glowing firefly that is Elena. She’s no longer human which is fucking amazing. Now Kamilah has eternity with the woman she loves and she couldn’t be happier. Kamilah has always been so closed off and guarded, constantly feeling the need to keep her walls but all it took was one glance for all her morals to change and Elena made Kamilah a better person because of that.

She’s delighted that Elena came into her life and she never plans to take the woman for granted. Never in a million years. Forever, Kamilah will choose to stand by Elena and cherish every moment of eternity that they’re given.

As Kamilah starts to get lost in her thoughts, she barely avoids an exhausted co worker who’s back is hunched and he wanders carefully down the hall. Their shoulders collide but Kamilah quickly recovers, sensing the middle finger shot at her as she hurries further into the building. All she can do is laugh and shake it off.

Finally, after all that, Kamilah reaches the office. Elena’s office to be precise. She’s been waiting for this moment all damn day and now she finally gets to encounter the love of her life. Unusually, the door is slightly ajar and there are muffled voices scattered on the other side. Curiosity floods through Kamilah‘s dark eyes and she does her best to not let the cold, crimson colour shine through.

Too intrigued to walk away, Kamilah adjusts her ears and uses her enhanced hearing to listen in on the conversation, while also trying to look idle in the hallway as employees wander past - only granting her an empty glance.

As the echoey voices start to become clearer, Kamilah immediately catches on to the fact that one of them belongs to Elena. That sweet, melodic sound is enough to convince her that it’s the woman she adores talking. However, the other voice isn’t as clear.

“So... I’ll get those papers for you by Friday.” Elena states in the sweetest and most kind-hearted tone, the complete opposite to Kamilah but for some reason, she finds that endearing. Intently, Kamilah continues to listen it, narrowing her dark eyes when she hears the other voice.

“Of course. And thank you for your help.”

Kamilah is unable to recognise the other voice at first but she’s completely aware that it’s another employee of hers and it definitely belongs to a man, which isn’t reassuring at all. She rolls her eyes and folds her arms in a solemn manor, leaning against the wall as she remains ready to eavesdrop on their idle conversation.

“No problem. It’s my job to help everyone.” Elena returns and Kamilah can sense that there’s a huge smile on her face when she says that, as pleasant and welcoming as ever.

“Still, thank you. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you weren’t there for me today.”

That’s when Kamilah starts feeling suspicious, an unusual feeling rising within her. A nausea of sorts and she does not care for it at all.

“Oh?” Elena reacts rather startled and that’s when Kamilah starts to peer within the ajar door, catching sight of Elena but only managing to see the back of the man talking opposite her. They’re closer than Kamilah would like and that sickening feeling in her stomach only increases the more she dares to stare at them.

“Yeah... I felt like I needed you today.”

Kamilah can see a slight hesitance in Elena’s lime eyes, something so obvious yet so hidden with the innocence that she carries with her always. Meanwhile, Kamilah feels a sudden resentment to the man standing across from her. Despite not seeing his face, it’s clear what his intentions with Elena are and Kamilah doesn’t care for that at all.

Elena hangs her head for a moment, brushing strands of her light brown hair away from her face and releasing a soft sigh. She’s clearly uncomfortable in this situation but she’s just too kind to abruptly walk away all of a sudden.

“What are you saying?” Elena dares to ask, reluctantly glancing back up at her co-worker.

That’s when things start to take a turn and really affect Kamilah the way they probably shouldn’t. Such a simple action changes everything. Something that can be classed as friendly and perhaps reassuring but with Kamilah’s current irrational train of thought immediately leads her to thinking the worst. Ever so slowly, with absolutely zero caution, the man moves his hand and places it on Elena’s shoulder... stroking it ever so lightly with his fingertips.

Even though Kamilah can’t see his face, she knows with all her heart that there’s a flirtatious look in his eyes. Something he probably isn’t even trying to hide. It’s just there and it’s up to Elena to choose whether she notices it or not. Whether she remembers that Kamilah is in her life. Does she even recognise what the bastard is doing?

The man leans in closer until his lips are barely at a safe distance to Elena’s and that causes Kamilah’s stolen blood to boil. The nausea in her stomach only increases as seconds pass by and she can feel a growl desperate to escape her, as she tries to control her eyes from threatening to transition to crimson. That colour is a symbol of hunger and an urge to kill. It’s deadly and no amount of jealousy will make it better.

“Guess I’m saying that I care about you, Elena. In a way I probably shouldn’t.” The man whispers in an extremely off-putting tone that causes Elena to stiffen slightly.

This is where Kamilah should step in right? Ugh. Then why is it so damn hard? His intentions are clear and they’re to interfere with a taken woman’s life so Kamilah shouldn’t be afraid to step up. She isn’t afraid but maybe she just can’t bring herself to stop listening.

Elena instantly backs away, staggering back into the desk and not giving her a clear path out of this situation. This only gives the man a chance to get closer. “...I really don’t know what to say.” Elena admits, folding her arms as a way to protect herself from receiving his touch.

“You don’t gotta say anything. Just nod and agree to go out with me sometime.” The man offers, pausing when he finally notices the hesitance in Elena’s expression. “Don’t give me that look, El. I know you feel it too. We got something. We’ve been flirting back and forth for weeks now.”

“No. You’ve been flirting but I had no idea you felt this way.”

“Well, maybe now I can finally make it clear to you by...”

Oh that’s fucking it! Before anything can escalate, Kamilah storms in as collectively as she can, her natural strut expressed like it always is. She throws her head to her back and makes sure there’s a deafening creak when she swings the door open, and it’s definitely enough to distract the two of them.

Elena immediately releases a sigh of relief when she catches the familiar sight of Kamilah, looking as glorious as ever. Thankfully, it’s enough to make the co-worker back away from Elena, panicked by the sight of someone of higher class than him, who basically controls this company. He looks completely baffled and Kamilah struggles to suppress a laugh when she finally realises who it is.

Wow. Guy who is always trying to get dates. It’s unusual enough that his name is actually Guy. Seriously... it’s Guy.

Capturing both of her employee’s attention, Kamilah maintains her solemn demeanour and throws her hands on her hips in a sophisticated manor, fixating her suspicious gaze solely on Guy, narrowing them rather viciously, as an attempt to intimidate him. It seems as though her general presence is doing that job perfectly.

“Guy... Slutworth, is it?”

Guy hangs his head slightly, his gaze moving to the floor. “Actually... it’s Guy Sutworth, ma’am.” His voice appears with plenty of stutters, enough to make him obviously nervous.

Kamilah smirks devilishly, shooting Elena a quick wink while Guy’s attention is focused on the floor. Kamilah, being the boss, takes a harsh step towards an awkward Guy, the click of her heel echoing throughout the office.

“Look at me, Slutworth.” Kamilah orders in a strict tone and Sutworth obeys immediately, acting as if he’ll be killed if he doesn’t do as she insists. Maybe that’s a real possibility. Seeing the sweat dripping down his forehead, Kamilah tilts her head and her smirk widens at the nervous sight of him. “May I ask why you’re not delivering those documents to Miss Oliver’s office like I asked you too?”

“...W-What documents, Miss Sayeed?”

Kamilah arches her eyebrows, clearly challenging the employee. “The ones that Miss Oliver has been requesting since Monday and she still hasn’t received them. I asked you specifically to deliver them within a few hours. Well, it’s been three days, Slutworth, and Miss Oliver still hasn’t gotten them.” Kamilah’s vicious tone rises with more and more anger as each word is spoken with complete ease, while Guy’s state of mind becomes more damaged with each glare he receives for his mistake.

“I’m so sorry, Kamilah.” Guy really has the audacity to refer to his superior by her first name. What an asshole. What disrespect.

“That’s Miss Sayeed to you, kid.” Kamilah states in one of her coldest tones, staring down at Guy like he’s a mere dwarf. Meanwhile, Elena just watches over the situation, confusion and bewilderment invading her state of mind.

“I honestly forgot about the documents. I didn’t think that was a job.” Guy tries to defend himself but fails miserably.

“Well, honesty isn’t good enough, Slutworth. Delivering those documents is apart of your job and you didn’t do your job.” Kamilah’s strokes her jaw thoughtfully, a deceitful glint in her dark eyes. “Perhaps a cut needs to be made in your salary.”

Guy’s eyes widen like that of a frightened child seeing a monster in their closet. Maybe he just had. “No! Please, Kamil- I mean Miss Sayeed. I’ll go deliver those documents right now.”

Kamilah leans in until her hot breath is looming over Guy’s face, his eyes watering from the frost in her voice and it lingers on her breath. For a second, her eyes flash a crimson red and it only adds more fear to the fire. “I suggest you do, Slutworth... instead of attempting futile flirtation with a woman you could never have anyway.”

Guy furrows his brows, wondering why Kamilah mentioned that so suddenly. “What makes you say that?”

“Oh... you really wanna know?” Kamilah challenges him once more, giving him a chance to escape but he stays put - too curious to leave this all behind now. Guy nods eagerly and Kamilah smirks mischievously, shoving him to the side by his shoulder and sauntering up to Elena.

Before Elena can take in Kamilah’s presence or even process what’s going on, Kamilah yanks her by the wrist and welcomes her in for a long, passionate kiss, so much heat being dragged in as the first few seconds pass - all of it igniting from the furious fire that had been building in Kamilah’s heart, especially after watching that entire situation. Seeing someone else flirt with the one she promised herself to. Hell no was she gonna let this bastard get away with such a careless act. All he can do right now is watch and learn. Kamilah can sense Guy’s eyes widening with a shock as the kisses are flooded with more desire and hunger the longer they go on.

Kamilah is definitely enjoying this though. This is just sweet, satisfying revenge to her. Would it count as delicious karma?

After what seems like forever, Kamilah pulls away, her hands lingering on Elena’s hips and she admires how dazed she is after such a heated moment. Kamilah barely tilts her head at Guy, pleased to see such surprise and regret in his exterior.

“Go deliver those documents now, Slutworth before I feed you to the wolves.” Kamilah wasn’t even joking when she said that. She could really feed him to the wolves. Depends what kind though.

Guy trembles with fear and rushes out, without another word. With that, Kamilah releases a satisfied giggle before flicking her gaze back to Elena, who is eyeing her with raised eyebrows and there’s a skeptical expression planted on her.

“You have to admit that was pretty fun?” Kamilah points out, leaning in to give Elena a soft kiss on the lips but she avoids it with a sly smirk. “What?”

“...You’re jealous, aren’t you?” Elena assumes, biting down on her lower lip and unable to hold back a proud smile that she actually found a way to make Kamilah jealous.

“What? No. Just needed someone new to torture. I was bored.” Kamilah assures, twisting Elena in her arms so she’s pressed up against the desk in the office.

Elena lets out a low giggle, knowing Kamilah is just acting up now. “Nah. You’re lying. You were totally jealous.”

“Why would I be jealous? I have you.”

“Exactly. You’re jealous because you get pissed off when people flirt with me.”

Kamilah scoffs in annoyance. “That is a load of nonsense.” She claims.

“Come on, just admit it. You’re jealous.” Elena urges and Kamilah just shakes her head.

Suddenly, Elena yelps with surprise when Kamilah plants her on the desk in one swift motion, faster than any human ever could. With undeniable passion, Kamilah reconnects their lips and a fury of desire runs through them both, abruptly making them completely in need of each other.

“How about we show Guy what love is supposed to look like?” Kamilah suggests, tugging at Elena’s lower lip with desire and whispering in between kisses huskily.

Elena pulls away briefly, consumed with laughter again. “Come on. Now you’re just making it obvious.”

“Goddamnit. Just shut up.” Kamilah urges before bringing their lips together once more, ready to show Guy and everybody who Elena really belongs too.

#this might be a little shorter than I thought it was gonna be #playchoices #choices #fan fiction #pixelberry #playchoices fanfic #bloodbound #choices bb #choices stories you play #kamilah sayeed #kamilah x mc

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accidentally-logince · 6 years

Note

Maybe a mix of 23 + 1, I don't mind where it goes and with what characters, just something to cheer me up?

(I usually fill prompts in the order that they come into my inbox, but I wanted to help you cheer up, nonny!)

Prompt(s): “I love you, please don’t go”, “What’s cookin’, good lookin’?”

Warnings: Crying

(If there are any more, PLEASE tell me!)

Word Count: 1.5k

Pairings: Moralogince

—

“What’s cookin’ good lookin’?”Wordlessly, Logan rolls his eyes, closing his book and sinking out. My shoulders droop, and I grab my notebook, crossing “flirting” off of my list of ideas.

Logan has been avoiding me for nearly a week now. It would be much less frustrating if I could get him to tell me exactly why. Real smart of you, Lo. How am I supposed to fix the problem if I don’t know what it is? From across the room, Virgil is clearly trying to look disinterested. He’s been doing his best to stay away from our issue the whole time, and he doesn’t even look up at me as I ascend the stairs.

Patton’s door opens before I even have a chance to knock, almost as if he knew I was there. Maybe he saw the shadows of my feet under the door, or he heard my footsteps.

“Roman! I thought it was you,” Patton chirps. “Come on in.”

That’s the thing about Patton; he always seems to know when someone is coming to him for help. His room shifts as we walk in, and by the time we reach the middle, there are two soft chairs facing each other, each with a cup of cocoa in the cup holders. The sight makes me smile, and I plop down, grabbing the cup and holding it in both hands, letting the warmth seep into my fingers. Not too hot.

“What’s goin’ on, Ro?” Patton asks, plopping down across from me and sinking into the chair.

Now that we’re at the point of discussion, I actually realize exactly what the problem is, and now I’m not so sure I can talk about it with Patton. I dart my tongue out and lick my lips worriedly. If I tell him, will it only cause another problem to pop up?

I go for a generic answer. “Logan’s been staying away from me. I’m not entirely sure why, or how I can remedy it.” I poke at the marshmallow floating in my cup. I like to eat them when they’re covered in cocoa, soft and slightly warm—I’m definitely getting off topic.

“Have you two had any disagreements?” Patton asks.

I shake my head. “I… Not any that I recall. He just started leaving when I entered a room. I think it started right after movie night."

Patton bites the inside of his cheek. "I’m not sure,” he says. “If you want, I could maybe ask him later? He can be very stubborn though, I might not be able to get a straight answer from him.”

I’m extremely tempted to blurt out a gay joke, but I swallow it down and just nod. “Anything would work better than my attempts. He won’t even glance at me.” I remember I’d simply cleared my throat the other day while Logan was digging around in the fridge, and he’d sunken out without even turning around, just shutting the fridge door on his way down. He hadn’t even grabbed what he was looking for.

“Well, if I find anything, I’ll be sure to tell you,” Patton says, giving me a reassuring smile.

“Thanks, Pat.” I return his smile with one of my own and stand up, moving to put the mug back into it’s cup holder, but Patton just grabs my arms softly and shakes his head.

“Bring it back to your room. You can return it later,” he says.

—

When a few days pass and Patton doesn’t come to see me, I start to worry. Has he just not talked to Logan yet? I doubt it, he’s usually very quick about helping us. Now that I think about it, I don’t think Patton’s come out of his room since I talked to him. Or, maybe he did and i just didn’t see him—is he avoiding me too? That’s… that’s insane, right?

I push myself out of my chair. I’m sure if I just go talk to him, he’ll tell me exactly what the issue is. Maybe it just slipped his mind. Patton is the most forgetful of us.

I haven’t even knocked on Patton’s door yet when I hear another door open. I turn my head to find Logan, stopped in the middle of the hallway, staring back at me. After a brief moment, he shakes my gaze and goes to sink out again.

Now or never, now or never, now or never—

“Logan, please stop,” I blurt out. His head darts up. He’s gnawing on his lip, and his eyes are glued to his shoes. Instead of sinking out, he just starts to turn around, to return to his room. “I love you, please don’t go.”

Logan freezes in his tracks. “What?"

Anxiously, I tap my fingers against my leg. "I’ve been trying to talk to you for almost two weeks now. I wasn’t exactly planning on confessing, but I didn’t really know how else to get your attention. Patton said he would talk to you for me, but he hasn’t come out of his room, and I just want to know what I did wrong—”

Patton’s door swings open, and both Logan and my attention shifts. Patton tries giving me a smile, but it’s clear from his red face that he’s been crying. He notices my worried expression, and lets his smile fall. “I’m sorry,” is all he says.

Logan clears his throat behind us. “I’m not entirely sure what’s going on,” he admits. “My idea of the situation contradicts entirely with what you just told me.” His gaze shifts to look at Patton. “I apologize for figuratively ‘stealing the stage’, but I just… Roman, please explain to me what is happening.”

My head swivels between the two of them. Patton, staring at his toes in his doorway while Logan waits for me to answer. Patton’s eyes flick up, and he notices my turmoil.

“Why don’t we all come into my room and talk over some cocoa?”

—

Having everyone facing each other definitely takes some of the stress out of the situation. Still, watching Patton—with a still-red face—sip quietly from his mug without looking up worries me.

“Well then I’ll start,” Logan says suddenly, breaking the silence hanging over us. “Since you don’t seem to keen on answering my questions.” Before I can say anything, he’s straightening in his chair. “Patton did, in fact, come to speak to me by your request. But from what he said, it seemed that you had no interest in me. Romantically, I mean,” he clarifies.

Patton stares into his cup, no longer even taking his slow sips. He quietly traces the rim of the cup with his finger, clearly avoiding my gaze.

“What did he say? Or—” I turn to face Patton. “Here, you should be part of the conversation too.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispers again. I’m about to tell him he doesn’t have to apologize, but he places his mug down and sucks in a breath. “I got jealous. It… I guess I could tell from the way you were talking that you felt strongly about Logan… I shouldn’t have let my own feelings interfere, I know I just made the situation worse.” Patton tucks his hands between his knees. “I told Logan that um… I told him you…” He shakes his head. “I don’t… I don’t wanna say it. I’m sorry, I feel so ashamed of myself.”

Logan finishes for Patton. “I was told that you harbored romantic feelings toward Patton, rather than me.” His voice is soft and unaccusing.

“It was totally wrong of me, I shouldn’t have said anything dishonest. Roman, if you like Logan, I have no right to take that away from you,” Patton rambles.

A laugh escapes me. “You have it all wrong,” I tell them. “Listen, I have feelings for both of you.”

Patton’s head perks up. “You do?” There’s so much hope in his voice. A smile creeps onto his face—a genuine one. “Wait, no, no way! I was so sad because it seemed like you two like each other, and I—” Patton bounces in his seat and grabs at Logan’s hand. “Lo, I like you too! Oh, gee, everyone loves Logan!”

Logan has turned red in his seat. “Well, since we all seem to be confessing our emotions right now, I find it appropriate to mention that I was feeling left out because I though only you two had feelings for each other.” He shakes his head, trying to hide his blush. “You two understand how insanely improbable this is, right?” he asks.

“Not really. We’re all part of Thomas’ brain right? So doesn’t it kinda make at least a little sense?” Patton asks. Then his eyes light up. “Wait! Lo, are you telling us you have feelings?” he teases. “You’re so cute when you’re all blushy!”

Logan tucks into himself further. “Falsehood,” he squeaks. “I think that… er, that is to say that… I believe you are the cute one here, Patton.” A tiny smile sprouts on his lips.

“See, doesn’t this feel better?” I say. “You know, actually sharing our feelings. Actually talking?” I nudge Logan, and he rolls his eyes playfully.

“Don’t push it,” he jokes, leaning over and kissing my cheek. \

—

Prompt List (Send me one if you’d like!)

My Other Fics

Tag List: @thelogicalloganipus @monikastec @misstallip @aikogumi @pastel-patton123 @roses-for-roman @confinesofpersonalknowledge @phoenix-galaxies @well-love-has-failed-me @theresneverenoughfandoms @lilbit-gay @emi-loves-them @logicaltimeink @never-ending-sufferage @lunareclipse-524 @kameraishere

#moralogince #sanders sides #sanders sides fic #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #my writing

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yaz-the-spaz · 6 years

Note

Hello! Just a quick question about bearding, why do we hate the beards so much? (;Gigi, Perrie, Taylor) (the famous ones that is) if we think that our boys don’t have a choice, then the girls don’t either, right?

why do people hate the “beards”? i get they hate that our boys are closeted, but i don’t get why they hate Eleanor or Gigi or Sophia (at the time). if there’s someone to hate is mngmt and s*mon. the girls are just doing a job and it’s not like they’re having the time of their lives. like, they’re “with” someone who love someone else. they can’t have a public relationship either. i think it’s awful for both of them:( i hope it ends soon.

lumping these together cause i’m assuming they’re from the same person since they appear to be asking basically the same thing in slightly different words, also sorry for taking so long to answer nonnie but honestly the thought of answering these just left me so exhausted, like this was literally me when i saw these asks

just because this is something that’s been discussed and re-discussed and re-re-discussed so much in this fandom and there’s so much information on it easily available at this point i almost feel like i shouldn’t have to explain it at all but nevertheless i will weather the storm and attempt to help you understand so here we go…

first off, while i agree with you that a lot of the blame that falls on the beards as individuals is undue—since at least for those that already had established careers in the entertainment industry there was likely at least some degree of coercion and contractual obligation from their respective teams as well just like for the boys and they’re likely not personally responsible for most of the stunts and bs narratives as much as it is their teams pulling the strings in their favor (though often heavily in the girls’ favors at the expense of the boys but that’s a whole separate point)—that doesn’t excuse the fact that they willingly agreed to partake in bearding and closeting. and before anyone chimes in with ‘well they night not have known they were helping to closet/beard someone’ let me stop you right there cause puh-lease. it’s 2018. the number of rumors piled up at this point about zayn/liam/louis/harry’s sexualities that the general public alone knows about is ridiculous all its own, and probably astronomical when you consider what those in the actual industry probably know/have heard by now. it’s not a secret. people in the industry know and they’ve all been soft outed publicly by others in the industry at least once (if not multiple times) at this point. so while the idea that these girls are coming into things blind and naive as a baby deer and have no idea what they’re getting into may have flown in 2011 it’s about as sturdy as sand now and has been since about 2012 (when the first gay rumors about louis, harry, and zayn started to fly).

i’m not gonna get much into perrie because i feel like she’s a separate case since she came from virtually the same machine as the boys but the other famous beards i don’t feel like deserve the same pass as the chances are higher that they still had at least some degree of choice in who they decided to date for pr. i could be very wrong but from what i’ve read and learned from those in the fandom that work in the industry that have talked about this, higher-profile celebs (like taylor and gigi) often get their pick of potential pr boyfriends from a list of candidates curated by their teams and/or have some sort of sway or say into who they’d prefer. and still they specifically (and repeatedly) chose queer men (or at least men widely believed to be queer, leading them both to now come to be seen by many as serial bearders).

those that came into it without established careers of course are a different ballgame because not only did they willingly agree to help closet and beard but they did so at the expense of the boys’, essentially using them as a stepping stone to climb the ladder of fame and success. eleanor might have gotten a pass back in 2011 when she popped onto the scene wide-eyed and bushy-tailed with probably no real idea of what she was getting into and no projects on the horizon to promote, but you can’t argue that she didn’t know exactly what she was getting into when she out of the blue re-upped her contract and came back on the scene in 2016 with a budding modeling career (with connections to gigi no less) and a renewed social media presence and her and louis suddenly started going everywhere looking like walking billboards, promoing every single high fashion company in existence. and pretty much all the “normal” non-famous 1d beards have followed this same/similar trajectory too. it goes: start off getting marketed as just a student and a “regular” girl who’s oh so private and not looking for fame or to be in the spotlight, then flash forward a couple years or a couple months post-break-up and suddenly they’re all models on the come-up with a 1d-launched following on social media, promoting their next shoot or fashion line or what-have-you.

if you see nothing wrong with any of that i can’t help you…

9 times out of 10 they’ve also turned out to be extremely gross people and this is actually the main reason most people hate them. not just because of the bearding but mainly because of the awful shit they’ve done all by themselves. the bearding is gross on its own sure but i think a fair amount of people these days recognize that—for some of them at least—not all of the blame for the bearding can be put on them individually and we’re not out to just blindly hate them for bearding alone like many fans were wont to do in the days of yesteryear because i think most of us understand by now that they’re people who can be just as manipulated into bullshit by those running things in the industry as the boys have. but whether they were coerced into bearding or not that doesn’t excuse many of their own disgusting behavior on a number of occasions. you can check some of the posts in my gigi, cheryl, danielle, and eleanor tags and the google webs for more concrete and exhaustive deets on the shit some of them have done but for the moment i’m just gonna list the biggest ones/and or the ones i can recall most easily off the top of my head

-gigi - involved in a bunch of racist shit (including borderline blackface, tasteless immigrant campaigns insinuating immigrants are literal aliens, and appropriating black hairstyles like afros and dreadlocks) which admittedly some of the blame for can be put on her team more so than her but still she’s not a puppet, she has a voice and some say in what she agrees to do and she fully could have turned the projects down if she saw anything wrong in it or at least apologized after the fact for participating in it and tried to make an effort not to participate in stuff like that again or to acknowledge why it was wrong (a la katy perry) and yet she continued to be involved in the same kind of shit over and over, but that also doesn’t excuse the shit she did all on her own when she made fun of asians for their features and never apologized for it and then when she got forced out of the Victoria Secret show in China b/c of all the backlash from Chinese people on sm she basically whined about it to her fans (in dm’s no less lmao wtf) and still didn’t actually apologize or admit she did anything wrong

-perrie* - called zayn a freak on-camera in an interview and basically insinuated that introverts and/or people who prefer to deal with their emotions in solitude or like to take time to be alone are weirdos

cheryl - showed her ass to be a transphobe and also a racist to the point of literal physical violence inflicted on a black woman, and also was accused of domestic violence, managed to avoid jail time for it all and basically bury it in the press, and is just an all-around gross person

danielle - cheated on liam multiple times with multiple guys, treated liam like shit, weaseled her way back into a contract for payzer 2.0 by threatening to out ziam unless mgmt brought her back on, came back out of nowhere this past year and essentially tried to use liam for publicity again (once more by nearly soft-outing ziam)

eleanor - went all the way to india to stage a fake indian wedding with her (all-white) friends complete with traditional indian dress and jewelry and insinuating something about indians being like dogs or something like that idk i can’t remember the particulars rn but i just remember it was gross and racist and that’s really all you need to know (although i also wouldn’t be surprised if she’s pulled some other racist shit i don’t even know about)

eta: i completely forgot about camille or that she even existed lol but she’s an absolute trash human being and here’s a whole thread on why (big thanks and shout out to @achristmasmuke for the link)

as far as i can tell sophia and danielle c. (louis’ danielle, not liam’s) seem to have been the least problematic of all the beards…that we know of anyway (though that’s honestly probably mostly b/c they were perhaps the most low-key and dry of all the beards which imo is a good thing though i wouldn’t completely rule out some shit from them coming to light at some point too…maybe it has and i just don’t know about it idk but i digress)

anyway if after all that if you still don’t see anything wrong i really can’t help you, but hopefully this at least helped you understand at least somewhat better why so many people can’t stand most of them, outside of just the bearding stuff.

tl;dr - while i agree that the beards don’t necessarily deserve all the personal blame and hate they get for the bearding and the stunts, that doesn’t excuse all the other gross (racist/transphobic/violent/or just generally insulting) things they’ve done all by themselves which is actually more so what people these days hate them for besides the bearding

(*as for perrie, i purposefully left out the point about her calling zayn indian that a lot of ppl in this fandom like to use for fodder against her b/c that was print perrie and i don’t believe a word of what was said in that article actually came out of her own mouth b/c the whole thing was “her” gushing about the wedding and every single time she was asked about it irl she was about as uninterested and unenthusiastic in talking about the wedding/engagement [or giving any details at all] as zayn was imo)

#asks #anons #beards #bearding #also apparently this unintentionally turned out to be another one of my #masterposts #whoops #but also #can’t believe things like this are still getting asked in the year of our lord 2018 #how many times have posts gone around enumerating all the gross things the beards have done #and how is it so hard to understand that most of these girls (esp the non-celebs ones) are willingly signing up to participate in closeting #*in closeting/bearding in exchange for a career boost #and that even the already-famous beards could have advocated for fake-dating literally any other (actually straight) high profile male cele #out of what was probably a veritable list of options they were given #but instead agreed to go with the queer ones and participate in closeting #yes to some degree it’s still not a nice experience for the girls too #but that in no way excuses everything else wrong with what they agreed to #or the shit they’ve done all on their own

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hartlessfiction · 7 years

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wtf can u rec me some good long destiel bdsm fics????

I SURE CAN! Thank you for asking.

The following fics are what I could come up with right now. Also, I’ve learned I need to tag my fics better in my bookmarks.... So, all the fics listed here should be complete and most are over 100k. Enjoy!

I’ll Be Good by LittleAngelCassie Heavy BDSM Word Count- 108,834

Summary: Dean has always been the good guy. He made the hard decisions and rose to the occasion whenever his family needed him. He became a parent way too soon after the deaths of John and Mary Winchester along with Sam’s big oops moment. Resettling his entire life to Beaufort, NC for the sake of those he loves the most.Now at 25 an opportunity to finally be good to himself has been delivered in the form of one gorgeous Castiel Novak. The new arrival to town is the worst driver Dean has ever seen. As the eldest Winchester strives to overcome several bumps along the road of life can he also help Cas to steer towards a happily ever after with him or will Novak’s turbulent past cause them to crash and burn?In other words a BDSM love story.

SextersAnon.com by Unforth : A 4 part series that deals with some seriously heavy BDSM themes. Read at your own risk. Word Count- 169,136

Summary: After years of self-imposed celibacy, Castiel Novak decides to seek an anonymous sexual partner to engage in long-distant text-based activities. Things get personal quickly, though...

I Wanna Get Outside (Of Me) by emwebb17 HEAVY BDSM Word Count 142,717

Summary: Dean is a novice in the dom/sub world asked by his employer as a desperate last resort to be a sub for his recluse of a brother, Castiel. Castiel is a diagnosed OCD suffering from PTSD and agoraphobia, mysophobia, and dystychiphobia. Needless to say—he’s a mess who hasn’t stepped out of his home in literally seven years. The only times Gabriel can see traces of the way his brother used to be is when he feels in control—specifically when he has control over a sub. However, due to his idiosyncrasies and paranoia, keeping a sub around has been impossible. Enter Dean, who’s not a very traditional submissive, to try his hand at subbing for the hermit.

Tilted Mercy by LittleAngelCassie A/B/O Fic with HEAVY BDSM. Word Count- 111,295

Summary: The sins of the past never stay buried; Dean’s spent years trying to suppress the memories and nightmares that chase him relentlessly. The now 35-year-old Omega entered the BDSM lifestyle seeking penance for his crimes against humanity hoping to rectify all his wrongs through his own pain.After a particularly frightening encounter, Dean agrees to try a different approach to his self-atonement. Compassion was never in the cards until Castiel Novak showed up at his door, pushing Dean’s boundaries and forcing him to face this new reality that includes a possible future with the handsome alpha.Welcome to a new world twisting ABO and BDSM, where somewhere between retribution and redemption lies …Tilted Mercy.

Pitchers and Catchers by Unforth: This is a DCJ fic, with light BDSM , if you’re into that. Word count- 122,630

Summary: In his entire career, from Little League to the pros, Castiel Novak has only ever pitched to his twin brother Jimmy Novak. When circumstances force him to need to find a new catcher, Castiel knows there's no replacement for his brother...

Hot Water by Chiyume : Light BDSM Word Count- 151,065

Summary: Castiel hated public showers.In which Castiel is forced to use the company shower after hours and ends up doing unspeakable things he never thought himself capable of...AU-fic containing mystery attractions and a lot of hot water.

I Can Make You Scared by Dangerousnotbroken Heavy BDSM- Word Count 139,511

Summary: So this is how it goes. Best day of Dean Winchester’s life. Loses his job, finds out he’s been cheated on, gets dumped, all in the course of one fucked up Thursday. Drinking himself into oblivion is the natural response, right? A chance encounter in a dingy dive bar gives Dean a new friend who sees his problems and likes him anyway. Now, as Dean struggles to pick up the pieces of his life, Castiel just might help him put them back together in a way he never expected.

Full Circle by Jhoom: This is a D/C/J with Light BDSM. Word Count 39,205

Summary: Jimmy learns the hard way that first impressions tend to stick. If only he’d thought about that the first time Cas had introduced him to Dean.

Coming Out of My Cage by Unforth Heavy BDSM- Word Count 8.297 shorter fic but totally worth it.

Summary: Doms have to act a certain way: everyone knows that. Stand tall, walk proud, be bold, take control. Dean's played along his whole life, acting as biology dictate he should, while all the while he longed for someone to put him in his place.Finding a club that catered to anonymous hook-ups, no questions asked, was easy.Putting on the collar, and finding a dom willing to take a chance on a "sub" who doesn't look the part? That might be a bit harder...

Structured Clutter by Mayalaen Heavy BDSM and Domestic Discipline Word Count- 17,827

Summary: Dean doesn't know what to expect when Master Chuck, the loving owner he and other family members had grown up with, transfers ownership of him to Castiel Novak, the black sheep of the family who doesn't want a slave, who doesn't know what to do with one, and who never asked for this.

Take the Lead by JinxedAmbitions Heavy BDSM -Word Count- 66,586

Summary: Castiel is one of the world's biggest rock stars. Lead singer of The Garrison. He's living a life of decadence, but he can't come up with inspiration for their next album, and they're supposed to be back in the studio in a matter of weeks. It's no secret that The Garrison's music is mostly about Castiel's sex life, and the man experiments in lovemaking as often as he does with the band's sound. Now, Cas needs a new sexual experience to inspire his music.Dean Winchester is a Mixed Martial Artist with a reputation for being able to take a hard hit and being able to deliver an even harder one. Having a fight in Vegas is surreal for the Kansas native. Being propositioned by a rock star after the fight is equally surreal. First of all, Castiel is decidedly male with a reputation with the ladies as sordid as Dean's own. Second, his proposition to be at Dean's mercy in the bedroom is as ridiculous as it is intriguing

Mine From the Start by nhpw Heavy BDSM- Word Count- 13,675

Summary: Castiel is a bratty submissive used to getting what he wants. Dean is a disciplined Dominant who promises to give him what he NEEDS.

Go Down With This Ship by PorcupineGirl Light BDSM very fluffy Word Count 31,354

Summary: Since he has to stay deep in the closet to protect his job as a children’s librarian in conservative Wichita, Kansas, Dean’s main outlet for sexual frustration is writing and reading slash fiction for his favorite show, Devil Boys. When he starts corresponding with AngelofThursday, another male slash writer in his ship, he really is just looking for friendship… but when it seems like more might be on the table, he’s not going to turn it down. If only he didn’t also have a crush on Cas, the hot volunteer at his library branch…

Appoggiatura Verse by ceeainthereforthat Rope Bondange Light BDSM very cute and fluffy. Word Count 125,156

Summary: Castiel leaves the religious commune of Heaven Farms to study classical piano after winning a full scholarship paid for by the Deanna Campbell Memorial Foundation, and answers an ad in the campus newspaper: 1 bedroom to let. Meals provided. 50mb wifi, quiet odd music student preferred.

Orpheus by sysrae Heavy BDSM rape/non-con warning Word Count- 84007

Summary: The club is Dante's, the room is the Cage, and Dean is only there because he hates himself. He's buzzdrunk from the shots he had at the upstairs bar, and dizzy from the heat. Ugly music thumps his bones, the juddering bassline overlaid with exactly the sort of discordant techno-trash he otherwise wouldn't stomach in a fit. The Cage smells of sweat, sex and spilled beer, the tight space full of half- and near-naked bodies gyrating against each other and – shit, is that guy actually naked? He is, and the two men sandwiching him on the dancefloor look pretty pleased about it. Dean, in his jeans and tee, is practically overdressed, and as he stands there, equal parts aroused and ashamed, he has a brief moment of clarity. Get out. Go home. Stop punishing yourself.Almost, he does. But through the din and crush, he suddenly feels eyes on him, and when he finds their owner, he remembers why he came.

Quick Question.....? Is it rude if I add my own verse in here? Yes? I’m doing it anyway.....

String Theory Verse by NadiaHart Heavy BDSM, time jumps, incomplete(sorry). Word Count 40,438

Summary: Dean's night started out normal enough. Work two jobs, come home to his closet of an apartment, drink what ever shitty beer is in his mini fridge. He RVSP’s to the party at his local BDSM club and maybe– if he's lucky– he'll find a service top to beat his ass so red he'll forget about his shit life for two seconds.

Well that was how it was supposed to go anyway. It was supposed to be a normal night, but what's normal for Dean Winchester anyway? A message from a close friend changes everything and maybe, just maybe, Dean's finally found the Dom he's been looking for. Now if he just doesn't fuck it up.

This one isn’t Destiel its Spideypool but it is in my top 3 favorite BDSM fics ever so I’m including it.

fall out, boy, so i can fall in(to you) by TheMadKatter13 HEAVY BDSM Heavy use of fall out boy lyrics. Serious themes Word Count 78,441

Summary: Deadpool keeps having sex with Peter and Peter… Peter keeps letting him.

Thank you Nonny. I hope this list shows you something new! I’d love to hear back from you. Which did you enjoy? Did you find any favorites?

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c-valentino · 7 years

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What do you think of Riko as a character inside the books? (no HCs) / Any fave HCs you want to share? / Any pairings/ships you like with him? / fic recs? / art recs? / Kevin&Riko - do they have/had feelings for each other? / Thoughts on his finale scene? / Did you read Nora's extra content? // tag other bloggers you think have something interesting to say about him! (maybe someone we don't know yet??) #Thoughts on Riko Moriyama

What do you think of Riko as a character inside the books? (no HCs) From a writer’s point of view? He’s a fucking tragedy. (and no, I don’t mean the pieces of background story we did get on him, that’s been said and discussed before) He’s kind of the worst villain a story can have - and here is why:

Riko is ‘one’ of the book’s antagonists, and to quote my German lit. teacher: “Antagonists act while heroes react.” - meaning it is often a villain who initiates any kind of dramatic change in a story. That said, why is Riko Moriyama a bad example of a villain? A good villain needs a plausible background story. The reader needs to actually understand what happened to the character in order to make him into what he is today. A good villain started out as an ‘ordinary’ person, same as a hero. Both undergo a series of events to turn them into what they are. If not enough depth and character development is put into a story the character becomes lifeless, doesn’t spark any kind of interest within the reader and (in this case) the villain becomes a ‘plot device’ - meaning someone who does evil things to create scenes that show more light on the main character and his reactions. (Neil has to suffer through some pretty over the top and kinda unexplained abuse from Riko in order to add to the tragedy and heroic survival in his character’s development). [unexplained meaning: Riko could just have done a million other things to him - it wouldn’t make much of a difference. As long as it fits the excessive violent behavior category it would have worked plot wise. There is no explanation why he is using knives (other than that it fits the whole scar theme of the books (Kevin, Andrew, Neil, Jean… all of them have scars)) … ] Or, to be very harsh here and I know it’s not quite THAT bad, think of those silly cartoons, Road Runner and Coyote - you know the coyote will do any kinds of destructive things, you don’t know why, it’s just his role, he’s a plot device.

Of course there are ways to create a great villain without spending many pages on his background story. Take Makishima Shogo e.g. (PsychoPass season one), we know next to nothing about his background, yet he is one of my favorite antagonists. His character feels real because there are enough little aspects about him that add depth: he likes to read books (physical copies because ebooks lack character), he likes to quote from those books to drive his point home, he likes to dip his sweets into tea… - non of that makes him better/worse at changing/destroying society, but it gives us an idea of who the man behind that criminal mastermind is.

Sadly, we only get the smallest glimpses of Riko. Overall his name is being mentioned 595 times in the trilogy, but we encounter him only a few times. Most of his actions happen behind the scenes. He’s also the best kind of HC goldmine you can find. Wasted potential makes for great fan content because there is so much left to explore (no matter if the author had to cut all the information out or cba to come up with anything to begin with. The fields of imagination are endless my friends!) Or, as Nora explained: “I wanted a stronger antagonist, so I kept giving him more power–and then I tore a chunk of it away in the final draft out of necessity. He had more presence in the second-to-last draft, just as Neil’s father did, but I had to delete entire chunks to balance the story out…” Basically all the information we have on Riko comes from Nora’s extra content (his whole backstory is in there). If you read it his character starts to make sense, becomes interesting and worth exploring. But it is what it is. You can’t really blame the readers for hating Riko Moriyama when they pick up the books for the first time. He is a shadow of a character in there. And let’s be honest, the extra content “doesn’t count” in many reader’s opinion. If it’s not in the books it didn’t happen! (true to some degree, but I’m not a purist. I research and dig for those extra pieces of information. I’d rather have four books with all the information on the side characters in there, I don’t need a sequel.) So, conclusion: If you hate Riko Moriyama, consider reading Nora’s extra content and give him another shot. He is quite interesting.

Any fave HCs you want to share?oh geez…. endless supply of those • Young Riko wide-eyed on his first trip outside of the Nest (supervised &!! unsupervised) like… the things he wants to see/eat/try/buy, (with Kevin by his side/the whole team/on his own/some Moriyama bodyguard), him buying ice cream (wow that’s sweet), fast food (not rly his thing, too greasy), clothes (ripped jeans, t-shirts, that amazing black coat he sees on his way back, a hat - because all he has are workout clothes, Exy gear and suits)• Riko doing promo/commercial stuff for the Ravens, playing nice for the staff on set, but wishing some of them a very painful death because they are so fake… (kinda used that one before) • Riko doing drugs/alcohol for the first time (can’t hold his liquor even though Kevin seems to have no problems in that department, and oh, it pisses him off - gets a huge backlash from his uncle afterwards for being an embarrassment to the family name) (drugs are something he can’t really get to terms with. He likes the feeling they give him (at least some of them) but he absolutely hates the aftermath, remembering how they made him open up, bringing him close to losing control…(ravens are against doping btw) • Endless scenes of Riko/Kevin making out… Young Kevin getting curious at some point and the only one around for him to ask is Riko, Riko being so angry that something has to give and sadly that’s Kevin, both of them being hyped after their first official game(win) and making out on Kevin’s bed, both of them getting drunk at the victory celebration and Riko dragging Kevin off to somewhere that’s dangerously public and oh, Kevin, be quiet dammit…

•Kevin is like an octopus while being asleep and Riko can’t stand it, it’s too warm, too sweaty, too heavy, too close…. - that’s why they make out on Kevin’s bed and he leaves afterwards. But there are times he wishes he could just go over there while Kevin is asleep. He does one night, when Kevin has been drinking with the older ravens… he has covered his ass and Kevin is gonna pay for it later… gets into bed behind Kevin and prays he won’t wake up…• Riko not admitting that there is more than Exy in his head sometimes… he likes psychology, astronomy, he’s good at math too and maybe physics would be interesting if the teacher wouldn’t be such a boring moron who takes ages to come to the point… but he can’t tell anyone because all he’s meant to be is the heir of Exy, and rly, what’s the point anyway? Chances are he won’t survive the end of his Exy career… • He likes music and some company gave them these awesome noise cancelling headphones. He likes them but only uses them when he is alone because he needs to hear the people around him… • He’s an awesome dancer with remarkable body control, and so is Kevin, as they both find out on their first (and last) night at a club…

Any pairings/ships you like with him? Both Riko/Kevin & Kevin/Riko work just fine for me. I’ve written (Raven!)Neil/Riko/Kevin before, and if you put some work and thought into a well crafted AU setting even Riko/(raven!)Andrew works. - If it has to be straight… my best bet would be Allison - she has enough of an attitude to stand her ground.

fic recs?let me give you a few but it rly deserves a full list at some pointwhat if i did by MadHatterNO7 - Kevin/RikoNever More by biffes - Kevin/Riko Kevin/Riko/Jeanignominy by Saul - Kandreil but I still like Riko in this one… baptism by Saul can’t go wrong with Saul aka @unkinglythose are only the ones I can name on the spot…

art recs? Well, there is @shihoran , of course, she’s been posting daily. hers is maybe the sweetest Riko I’ve ever seen (nothing like I imagine him but gorgeous art!) I know @foxesrefuge is working on some stuff (since I’ve seen a glimpse of it! ha! no spoilers though) http://berry-muffin.tumblr.com/post/154991766150/insp-and-a-bonus-because-fuck-riko-moriyama http://llstarcasterll.tumblr.com/post/157091722582 http://schwarzbrot.tumblr.com/image/138611768689 http://ziegenkind.tumblr.com/post/147315366365/here-you-go-nonnyand…. srsly, we need more Riko art!

Kevin&Riko - do they have/had feelings for each other? According to Nora’s extra content ‘yes’ they had feelings for each other. And I’m not talking the platonic kind of feelings. We’re talking the conflicted ‘adoptive’ brother/romance kind of stuff. Inside the books? Yes, I believe they have a nice textbook example of love/hate relationship to the very end. Riko can’t get over Kevin, even keeps his room untouched (as Neil tells us) and I could write you another two pages about that first interview scene. You can’t just ‘hate’ someone for no reason. Hate is a very personal feeling and it needs some kind of obsession behind it. Kevin tells us that he knows how it is to be with Riko. He also tells us that Riko wasn’t always like the way he is now. He’s gotten worse. You hear the Foxes call Riko a bastard, crazy… yet Kevin usually doesn’t outright insult Riko. Does he love him after what Riko has done to him? Probably not! Did he get rid of all his feelings from the time they grew up and learned to love Exy together? Unlikely.

Thoughts on his finale scene? ¬_¬ you had to… I don’t like it. But that’s my personal (emotionally clouded) opinion. It works as a scene because it is fast paced and written in an almost detached way - like such an experience would be, I imagine. Hard to take in, slow to process, very overwhelming, scattered, scrambled brains and all. The scene itself makes me nearly choke on the tension and displayed/withheld emotions.

Did you read Nora’s extra content? Oh yes! Such an inspiration. I’d love to get my hands on some of the earlier drafts… *cough*moreKandreil/moreRiko*cough*

// tag other bloggers you think have something interesting to say about him! (maybe someone we don’t know yet??) #Thoughts on Riko Moriyama - Already did! :D

#Thoughts on Riko Moriyama #riko moriyama #kevin day #tfc #aftg #thoughts #c.val rambling #anon asks

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cassiopeiassky · 8 years

Text

When Everything’s Made to be Broken (I Just Want You to Know Who I Am) Part 34

Hi everyone! I just want to take a minute to say thank you to all you wonderful readers out there! Your support, encouragement, and kind words mean the world to me. Please know that even if I don’t get a chance to respond to every comment, I do read them all. Thank you all so, so much.

Plot: When you inadvertently become a witness to a murder and are suddenly a target for death, it takes a specially skilled soldier and his team to keep you and your family safe.

This will eventually be a is a reader x Bucky fic. The reader, by the way, is a civilian. No super powers, no fighting skills, and by no means perfect.

Word count: 2367

Warnings:

For the entire work: Language (I have a potty mouth), violence, and angst. This will probably get pretty dark later on, and there will be smut. If that’s not your thing, you may want to avoid this story.

Additional warnings specific to this part: Mentions of parent/child separation, violations of privacy, mentions of anxiety/panic If I need to add anything else, PLEASE LET ME KNOW. If you don’t want me to publish the ask, I won’t, or you can feel free to do it as a Nonnie. I will not take offense to any trigger warning requests. Your well-being is important to me and I do NOT want to trigger anyone.

***I do not own any of the lyrics/music in this story, so please don’t sue me for using them***

Tags moved to the end.

WEMtbB Masterlist

Previously on WEMtbB:

“And Anatoliy?” His voice grows hard and threatening, “Do not lay another hand on her – she is not yours to hurt. Or touch.” He pauses before he narrows his eyes. “That goes for your pilot, as well.”

“Of course, Nicolai,” he grits out between clenched teeth.

You fight back the urge to vomit again as you realize that Anatoliy’s reaction likely means that this was originally going to be an extraordinarily unpleasant flight for you. It bothers you to no end that you can’t help but be at least a little thankful for Nicolai’s ‘protection.’

Metzger explains how to complete the injections – you won’t need to take your sweatshirt off because it’s to be administered into your thigh, much like an EpiPen, and can be given through your jeans. Thank God.

Shooting a baleful glare in Anatoliy’s direction, you gather yourself and slowly move to one of the couches to wait for the medication while he finishes with the call. You welcome the prospect of sedation; maybe then your heart won’t hurt so much.

Your memories of the following days are extremely sketchy – and you’re thankful for that. You remember being roughly shaken awake as you arrived, the bitter cold as you were moved from the jet and into a car and then again from the car and into a wheelchair, and then the warmth as you were brought inside what appeared to be a large estate.

After that you remember waking briefly on some sort of table with bright lights shining above you, and the feel of cold, ungentle hands on your skin before and after several sharp needle pokes.

You remember him – the doctor as he laughed at you – and the hot, sticky sting of tears drying on your face. You remember brief moments of waking in a bed that was not yours, either drenched with sweat or freezing with chattering teeth.

Even during those fleeting moments of lucidity, you remember the searing ache of being away from those you love, and you yearned for unconsciousness. And as much as you want to be blissfully unaware right now, it will not happen because you are finally emerging from the fevered, drug induced haze that has been your companion for what feels like years.

Goddamn it.

Alright, first things first – you need to compartmentalize. As hard as it is, and God, it is so hard, you cannot allow yourself to think of Artie and Jimmy. You can’t. At least not right now. You need to mentally tuck them away into a safe, warm place in your heart and lock the door. If you focus on them, on the intense and desperate pain of your separation, then you won’t be able to focus on surviving your new environment. Grieving for and missing them will not bring you home to them – but surviving will.

I love you, babies…I’m so sorry…I’ll think of you later, when Momma’s safer, okay? I promise I won’t forget you, you’re both always in my heart…

As for Bucky…he’s coming. You know this as surely as you know that the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, so you need to be ready and you need to be as healthy as possible.

Survive.

Several deep and deliberate breaths later, you open your eyes to take in your surroundings. You’re in a bed that’s much too soft for your liking and covered in a soft, white duvet. It’s a large room but it doesn’t feel that way due to the dark colors. You struggle sit up to get a better look.

Damn, this room is ugly…it looks like an antique shop threw up in here. For fuck’s sake, even Emily Gilmore would say this is too much. All the furniture is incredibly ornate with delicate, spindly legs, dark wood, and dark, hideous upholstery. You don’t even need to sit in it to know it’s uncomfortable. There’s a vanity with a mirror and chair on the wall opposite the bed, a few dressers, an armoire, a table with two chairs in front of the windows, and you see two separate doors. There are heavy tapestries on the walls (seriously? Tapestries?!) and one of those eerie paintings that has eyes that follow you everywhere. The windows are covered with heavy, embroidered drapes that have tassels on the ends that are either from the 1800s or the 1960s. Glancing up in the corner, you see the camera. Of course.

This room gives you the creeps.

“Good morning, lisichka, how do you feel?” a quiet, thickly accented voice gently asks.

You start violently; you hadn’t noticed the man sitting in the chair next to the bed. He’s someone you haven’t yet seen; not that you’d remember if you had. He’s maybe five or six years younger than you, with blond hair, brown eyes, and a wide face; he’s probably a little shorter than you. All in all he doesn’t seem all that threatening – he actually looks kind of friendly. Not that that matters here.

“My apologies, I did not mean to frighten you. My name is Mikhail Davydov; I’ve been assisting you since you arrived, but I forgot that you might not remember any of it once your illness has been reversed and the medications wear off. Do you need to use the bathroom?” His voice is kind enough but your eyes narrow in suspicion as you nod. “It is right through there,” he points to one of the two doors. “Do you need help?”

Choosing not to answer, you slowly slide to the edge of the bed and test your legs. You’re weak, but not immobile. Good. Standing slowly, you stumble a bit on the first step and he lunges forward to catch you.

He notices immediately how you stiffen in his arms, so he attempts to put you at ease. “I am not here to hurt you, lisichka, I promise.”

“Don’t call me that,” you mumble as you pull yourself upright; your voice is scratchy from disuse.

“How would you like to be addressed?” He looks genuinely confused.

You shoot him a sidelong look as you take a tentative step. “By my name.”

“Oh, they did not…? I am very sorry, but that is forbidden,” he informs you regretfully; he almost looks sad about it. “Is there another way you’d like to be addressed?”

“Forbidden?” What the hell is going on here?

Mikhail bites his lip and looks down. “I will explain it to you after you’ve made yourself more comfortable. Please, allow me to help you into the bathroom – as before I will leave you to your privacy, but please allow me to help you get there.”

You don’t really have a choice since your legs aren’t cooperating as much as you’d like. He walks you a few steps inside, and turns to leave.

“Oh, would you perhaps like me to run a warm bath?”

“What?” This is becoming more and more surreal with every passing second.

“It might make you feel better,” he looks down as if disappointed with your reaction.

You do feel pretty gross. These clothes could almost walk by themse… Your hand shoots to your neck…where’s the necklace that Bucky gave you? And your hoodie? Looking down, you see that you are dressed in the t-shirt you’d been wearing before you came here but your jeans have been replaced with a pair of sleep shorts. “Oh God…” The only word you can think of is violated as you recall Anatoliy telling you that there were no other women here.

“I was careful to protect your modesty!” he suddenly blurts out, red faced, clearly seeing where your train of though is leading. “You were having problems with the button on your jeans when you first got here due to the effects of the treatments, so I helped you put these on.”

Better Mikhail than Anatoliy, you suppose. Or the mad scientist.

“Okay,” you mutter, still upset, but if he was only helping then that must mean you were doing most of it yourself, even if you don’t remember.

“Also, your necklace and sweatshirt are on top of the dresser – I thought the necklace might be sentimental so I removed it to prevent it from being damaged while you went through the treatment, and the sweatshirt is so oversized that I thought it might…um…be a gesture of comfort from your lover.” His choice of words trips you up for a moment, but you keep your face as blank as you can. He’s unexpectedly insightful, and you don’t want to give him anything that he could report to your captors. “Do you want a bath? There are fresh clothes for you here,” he gestures to an antique shelf next to the tub before deciding to just start the bathwater. You notice as you look around that it’s quite an extravagant bathroom.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” you mutter as you look up at the camera in one of the corners.

“I’m so sorry lisich – I’m so sorry. There are cameras everywhere as you are to be under constant video and audio surveillance. You will be shielded from the video portion when you are behind the curtain of the bathtub or behind the shower doors, and there…” he points to what is basically a shortened bathroom stall, “but they can see you everywhere else.”

You just nod. What else can you do? You’re actually surprised they’re allowing you the privacy for showering or bathing.

“I will leave you now, but will be just outside if you need anything. Please do not hesitate to ask,” he murmurs as he backs out and closes the door behind him.

After relieving yourself, you look around to assess your options. A bath would feel good, you reluctantly concede. The glass surrounding the shower is frosted, so you can change in there and wrap a towel around yourself before going to the bathtub. There’s no fucking way that you’re going to give some asshole a deposit for his spank bank. The tub is ginormous (although not nearly as nice as the one at home, you think spitefully), and there’s a ledge for you to keep a dry towel or anything else you might need. Looking into a cabinet next to the shower, you find a variety of toiletries, all of which look to be high end.

This is so fucking strange.

You’re a prisoner with a goddamn explosive around your neck, but they think you need to bathe with super expensive body wash? What’s the point? You won’t turn it down, though; if you feel clean and more like yourself, then maybe you’ll be better equipped to handle whatever they throw at you.

You remove the lid from the closest bottle and sniff; cucumber melon. Gross. The next few almost make your throat close with the thick, heavy perfume. You finally settle on a wash that smells subtly of roses and spiced vanilla, and pick out some shampoo and conditioner that don’t smell too terribly awful.

You place the bottles at the edge of the bathtub, along with a few extra towels and washcloths, before shutting off the water and making your way into the shower with another towel. You glance up into the corners to make sure there aren’t any cameras before you undress.

God, how long have you been here? Your clothes are both dirty and smelly, and so are you. Looking down to find bandages wrapped around both your arms by your elbows and one on your hand, you carefully peel back the tape. Fuck, they turned you into a goddamn pincushion; you’ve got huge bruises on the insides of both arms and the back of your hand is completely black and blue. You finish undressing, and then wrap the ginormous towel around yourself and step out before finally gathering the courage necessary to look into the mirror.

Holy hell, you look like shit.

Your hair is matted from sweat, your eyes have huge, dark circles under them, your skin is ashen and dull, and your lips are chapped and peeling.

Alright…first things first. It tastes like something crawled into your mouth and died, so you brush your teeth and apply some lip balm – it’s probably too late to keep your lips from cracking and bleeding, but maybe this will keep it from getting too much worse.

Already feeling a little better, you carefully get into the tub, overly mindful and thankful for the curtain keeping you out of view of whatever pervert is watching. It’s only when you’re submerged in the warm water that you realize you don’t hurt anymore. You’re weak and stiff and definitely achy, but it’s the kind of ache that comes from lying in bed too long; it’s nothing like the excruciating pain from before. The cure must have worked. That’s something, at least.

You soak until you can’t stand the sounds of your racing thoughts any longer without physically being in motion, and by then you feel much better. Wrapping a towel around your freshly washed hair and another around your body before you step out, you grab the clothes Mikhail left out and make your way into the shower to dress.

How…how the fuck do they know your sizes? Everything fits; the jeans, the sweater, the tank (how do they know you like to wear a tank under your sweaters??), the panties, the bra. Everything fits, and it gives you the heebie jeebies. How much do they know about you?

You suddenly remember Mikhail’s observation about your hoodie; it must have been him checking your sizes. It’s still creepy, but you have to admit that it is considerably preferable to any of the other people you know here. Still…

Oh, that’s right. Krakken’s men were in your house at some point; you can’t put it past them to rummage through your belongings. Fuckers probably went on a panty raid while they were there. Sick bastards.

You finish up in the bathroom, trying to follow your normal habits as closely possible in order to keep yourself calm; there’s a measure of comfort in following a familiar routine. There’s no point in trying to impress anyone, and given your current circumstances you don’t want to, so you skip makeup (even though there’s plenty available) and pull your damp hair into a simple ponytail.

By the time you go back into the bedroom, the bed has been made with what looks to be fresh linens, the drapes are opened to admit the pale winter sunlight, and there’s a tray of food with a bottle of water sitting on the table in the corner.

Mikhail stands as you walk past, striding toward the dresser so you can put your necklace on; it makes you feel like Bucky’s somehow with you. “Please, lisich… um… miss… Mr. Krakken would like for you to eat and drink.”

“Why?” You don’t bother hiding the resentment leaking from your voice. What’s the point?

“It’s been days! You’ve been supplemented by IV, but you need to eat. Please!” He almost sounds panicked.

You’re almost afraid to ask, but you have to know. “What’s the date?”

“It is the third of January.”

Oh God. You’ve been gone for a full week.

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#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky imagine #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fan fic #bucky barnes fanfic #marvel imagine #my work #when everything's made to be broken (I just want you to know who i am)#WEMtbB #Part 34

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