#quaker vibes

[witches-and-windchimes]

I should introduce the meeting to solarpunk, I reckon they'd like it

[icedgarlic]

new wormhole ive been going through recently: looking up local historical sites on wikipedia and the national archives catalog!! so facsinating!!

[elliotly]

Got any book recommendations? All my current collection is stuff written before the year 1980, the joys of buying everything second hand, and I’m looking for newer additions to my little library.

Here’s the ones I rly enjoyed this summer!

Organ Meats by K-Ming Chang (dog women, fleshcore, magical realism, queer childhoods)

Piranesi by Susanna Clarke (a pristine little speculative world, self contained and concise, almost has a storybook feel to me)

Idlewild by James Frankie Thomas (isttvg vibes at a quaker high school, theater teenagers, unreliable narrators)

Babel by R. F. Kuang (19th century anti-colonial dark academia)

Failure to Comply by cavar (ergodic lit and trans cyborgs)

[historia-vitae-magistras]

What was your inspirations for the quotes of the tags you have for the characters?

Mostly I wanted to keep my stuff out of the tags. It's pretty much solved my harassment problems. But as for what I actually chose, all kinds of things. Old music is a big one. Others come from literature or poetry. A small sampling I had on hand.

America the beautiful for Alfred

Pretty classic American song. I had to memorize for an event so it popped into my head. Plus I like those quaker vibes. All about sharing and shit. 10/10 vibes for an American socialist because this land is your land is still kinda under copyright.

Mon Pays for Matt.

My country is not a country it is winter. This godforsaken country gave me trench foot as a child and I still can't feel my toes plus y'know gotta rub it into the anglos and the nationalist québécois while they're here. It's that slightly sad slightly defiant kind of vibe I love for Matt.

Song of Australia for Jack.

I just come across references to this one all the time in Commonwealth archives and I've just been exposed to it so much I couldn't even think of a better one. It just slaps on all the nature references. Very sunny and optimistic. It's just very Jack.

A Shakespeare monologue for Arthur.

Another unfortunate side effect of my old school education was all the fucken Shakespeare I had to read. I like this one because it kind of hits some points about English reluctance to be a part of Europe and Arthur's somewhat antisocial nature.

[mermaidsirennikita]

Hiii!

I'm a huge fan, and eternally grateful to you for leading me to His Valet 🙏🏻

I'm just coming off a serious Lisa Kleypas high and i'm not sure where to go next. I tend to like my romance angsty and historical. What would you suggest?

Thank you for everything you do!

Omg no need to thank me! 'Tis a fun hobby for me (and who knows, maybe eventually I'll publish a book or get into book marketing... the first is a dream, the second possibly a more practical dream given my professional background lol).

Needless to say, if you haven't read any other LaViolette books, she's probably one of my favorite Kleypas readalikes. Less Victorian Decadence (though they're amazing) because of the super high heat and queerness, plus the tendency towards non-monogamy or at least group shenanigans, but her other books like the Bellamys ESPECIALLY read like higher heat Kleypas to me a lot of the time. You probably know this—but the Bellamys give me "edgier Hathaways" vibes and they're all good so far (though Hyacinth and Selina particularly).

Primo historical angst who I consider from a similar like... field? As Kleypas? Is of course Elizabeth Hoyt. All of her books are solid to incredible, and Maiden Lane is just one of those series that I feel EVERY historical romance fan should read. Imo, they're best read in order (though full disclosure, I've yet to read book 1 even though I own it, and I'm kind of holding off because once I read it I'm done with ML and like Kleypas she hasn't published in a while...) but my top five would be Scandalous Desires (Irish river pirate Charming Mickey/moralistic Quaker widow Silence), Thief of Shadows (one of my all time favorites, virgin hero Winter with society widow Isabel), Duke of Midnight (craziest duke ever, Duke Batman Maximus/waaaay too smart for him Artemis), Dearest Rogue (the jaded former man of the law James with the woman he's guarding, Phoebe, who happens to be blind), and Sweetest Scoundrel (ultimate "rogue on the outside sweetheart on the inside" Asa and the uptight but secretly traumatized Eve).

Lorraine Heath, but of course! Just recommended her London's Greatest Lovers trilogy (available for $1.99 as a kindle bundle) and ESPECIALLY Waking Up With the Duke, but she honestly has several I would consider masterpieces/top favorites. Besides that one, I'd especially recommend:

--The Earl Takes All, a modern classic, also known as Gorilla Twins, one of the wildest books I've ever read

--When the Duke Was Wicked, aka (around these parts) (my blog, nowhere else) Rum on Lips, a beautiful widower rake book

--Between the Devil and Desire, the Jack Dodger and Olivia book, a FABULOUS interclass romance (though he's rich, don't forget it) with a hero who is perrrrrfect for Derek Craven girlies (Lovingdon from the above book is a little more similar to Sebastian, if Sebastian was actually terminally depressed and totally in denial about how hard he's falling for HIS redheaded heroine... I actually don't think St. Vincent really was that hard on the denial front once he was in it for real)

Joanna Shupe, of course! Her Fifth Avenue Rebels series is my favorite. I'd say she generally goes a *little* lighter on the angst than Kleypas, but it really depends on the book and they always have angst of some kind, and often a lot of groveling. I'd argue that her angstiest book that I've read is The Duke Gets Even, another all time favorite of mine. It's really pretty daring for the genre, imo, re: the source of the angst. Buuuut I would also recommend reading the series up to that in order for MAX gutpunch, and all the books are good to great.

I haven't read as much Jeannie Lin as I should have by now (just two books so far) but OOOOH The Dragon and The Pearl is so good. So angsty. There's such an anguished love confession in this one. Shoot it into my veins.

Sarah MacLean is definitely someone you can tell has been influenced by Lisa, and she writes great angst. My angst favorites of hers are A Rogue by Any Other Name and Day of the Duchess (the latter of which is another daring one).

Monica McCarty writes great angst—her Highland Guard series is medieval, but it definitely has the Kleypas-type heroes. And you get a LOT of like... "he doesn't love me" angst, some "we're on opposite sides" angst, some "we have beef and it still isn't over" angst throughout the series, which is really pretty consistent (I say as someone who still has a few books left).

Jennifer Ashley's Mackenzie brothers books are SINGULARLY angsty in the best way, and give big Kleypas vibes to me. The Duke's Perfect Wife is an all time favorite of mine, made me cry, and is best read after the first three in order, but they're ALL great.

And I mean... I have to recommend Princess by Gaelen Foley, a recent favorite of mine that is SOOOOO deliciously angsty. The longing! The betrayal! The hero wants to get himself killed, assassinating Napoleon FOR HER (and also because he highkey hates himself). The Duke is also super good, and VERY angsty.

[copperbadge]

re: the quaker whaler ancestry thing. You might enjoy looking up the song "Nantucket" by the folk shanty group The Longest Johns if you're not familiar - it's based on the real story of Matthew Starbuck from Nantucket, who left his family whaling business to join the continental navy during the American revolution. Cool group, good song, possibly relevant to you.

Ah, I am familiar with the Longest Johns, but hadn't heard this one. How fun! It's not I think their best work, but I dig the vibe they were going for.

Mind you, I did find Matthew on the family tree; there's only one (for once) who was born at the right time to participate. He's not much to me -- we share an ancestor in Nathaniel (again; I think pretty much every Starbuck in America comes from Nathaniel) -- but interestingly he's first-cousins with Samuel II, the Abolitionist. Their fathers Edward and Samuel I were brothers.

A socially earnest lot, those Nantucketer Quaker Starbucks. :)

[clunelover]

I had a fun time canoeing with the quakers and one of the families said they’d invite us to a pumpkin carving party they have every year. MAKING FRIENDS!

They’re all really nice. There is definitely a Quaker Vibe though! It’s a vibe I appreciate but I do feel like a different kind of person - best way I can describe it is, they seem Gentle. Very kind and gentle. These are good things to be! But my family has a different vibe…like, we’re definitely nice, but we can also be kind of Oblivious Trompers. We’re loud, maybe too loud to come across as gentle to anyone. It’s all good though, we might still all become friends!

[doctorloup]

It is Audiodrama Sunday my dudes [gender neutral]

I have mostly been doing relistens recently for Reasons, but have caught up on a few things;

Travelling Light - Quakers in Space, the Audiodrama is very wholesome. Cosy sci fi? The imagery was so good that there were several points where I was listening and my composing fingers started itching like "I wonder what the ice harp music would sound like…."

All in the Cards - This reminded me of Buffy or Charmed or one of those mid 90's Witch-Soaps, except with like.. half the NoSleep cast as a series of messy clients who keep putting the beleaguered main character into Situations. Also I think I got better at Tarot as I went through…

Do you Copy? - Retrospective found footage podcasts where someone is going through to find out what happened are a very cool storytelling method as you get to reveal mysteries without being bound by the constraints of troublesome quotidian linear time, and this combines that with the isolation of being in the wilderness for extra vibes.

Someone Just Like You - The two episodes of this out so far are no-punches pulled grindy creepypasta and I'm here for it.

Hopefully see some of you at the London Podcast Festival for the Ethics Town Liveshow! https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/words/ethics-town-live/ Have a September!

[shirayuki7]

Ok your tags on the reblog were very cool, would love to hear more about this project. Also, this is entire based on vibes of just existing in or near PA and having incredibly revisionist (and religious) history books, yeah. Sounds right.

Yeppppp! Get ready for a long answer cause i am in the thick of it! I'm pretty much a complete outsider to this topic. USA history doesn't interest me as much as ancient history does. The whole theme of the project is religious in/tolerance, and I picked Pennsylvania because my in-laws are all in Pittsburgh and I thought getting to know the state more would be fun! I've already got a pretty good background in religious history, so most of my research has been contextual colonial history. But the primary source I'm basing my project on is AWESOME. It's "Gottlieb Mittelberger's Journey to Pennsylvania" (free in the Library of Congress btw) and it's just so full of amazing information about colonial PA and how it was viewed by outsiders at the time (for Gottlieb, it was pretty godless and not worth the hype despite how beautiful the country is. He lived in Lancester county for about 4 years before returning to Germany).

The basis of my research is that in Europe, most Protestant sectarians (Quakers in particular) were seen as anti-state/anti-authoritarian. Being a dissenter was the same as being a treasonous terrorist because religion was the basis for most if not all laws and public policy within a country. So dissenters like William Penn were heavily discriminated against based on their beliefs and punished by the state as tho they were public enemies number one (spiritual danger = real danger). So quite frankly, because the America's were the place for criminals to be sent anyway, it kinda made sense to let dissenters leave and rotten themselves and their communities else where. So William Penn gets permission from his buddy King James 2 to create Pennsylvania as a "holy experiment" for liberty of conscience (and Quakers) to go. Penn advertises in England and Germany for the most part about this land of religious freedom and opportunity. With a little censure from the crown about how he sets up the colony, Penn makes it law that people can believe what they want and therefore worship and do what they want (within reason). From the outset of the colony, we have a very diverse environment full of very diverse people. No single people's settled PA, despite Quakers being a majority for a time and even when they weren't the majority they still held most of the power in the colony.

Anyway, all the secondary literature I've read all say the same thing: Penn's holy experiment was a success. Religious tolerance helped make PA economically and politically successful and set up all the American colonies for an equally successful revolution. But I've noticed that they're all ignoring, or just plain forget because 'MURICA, that the colonies were not completely separate entities from their parent country and are enabling the narrative of usa supremacy and individualism that DID NOT EXIST at the time. Individualism sure as hell did exist, but not in the sense of "im an american." It was "I'm an English Quaker" or "I'm a German Lutheran" or other ethnic or religious identification. These historians make it sound like everyone thinks PA was a great thing... but here we have over 100 pages of a German immigrant's travelog that heavily criticizes Penn's colony, telling his fellow Germans that it's just not worth the risk and they're better off at home. Obviously there's a ton more nuance to the account than I'm giving here, but the whole book is him saying "here's this bad thing, here's this good thing but here's the dark side of the good thing that isn't immediately obvious but I will explain it to you for your own good, and here's another bad thing." Most of the negativity he gives about PA in particular is religiously based: anarchy and atheism (exaggerations, but it was how he saw it as a faithful Lutheran). He tells stories of women running the show (heaven forbid!) And how the courts and laws are so lax that everybody does what they want even if theyre sued! These are seen as bad things to him, but obviously to a modern person (and to many a modern Pennsylvanian) it sounds like libertarian paradise. The idea of "success" is what I'm challenging with the Gottlieb account; we as historians are always needed to challenge the narrative. Complicate the story. The 13 colonies as a melting pot and overall success story is a good story and we use it to reinforce murican values in our public schools (something i greatly disagree with but it is what it is). But it's not the whole story and never will be. We've got the puritans in New England doing their thing and the Quakers in PA doing theirs, but what did that actually mean to people at the time? Did they see it as success? I should probably stop now haha! This is getting long. Thanks for asking about my project, it helps me articulate it for my prospectus due in a few days. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[icarusbrightside]

hi welcome to my blog, and this pinned post! this is my only blog so it's mostly a personal blog filled with an assortment of stuff i like. i post (reblog) a lot about being trans, poetry, quakerism, art and photos i like, occasionally mental health, and some fandom stuff including Dan and Phil, The Sims 4, Ethel Cain, Animorphs, Steven Universe, Stardew Valley, etc. here's how i organize my tags:

#hehe: stuff that makes me laugh

#angels: trans stuff, some overtly and some in a more abstract way

#poetry: stuff that makes me go "that's a poem." only sometimes does it match the dictionary definition of a poem

#homegrown: original posts by me, grown right here in the soil of this blog

#moonstone / #angel and the killer caterpillars: stuff that reminds me of my OCs lol

#quaker posting: directly related or adjacent to my understanding and my practice of Quakerism

#my heart: beautiful people

#is this healing?: stuff that feels like it can help cure my mental illness

#i <3 my trans ancestors: trans history stuff

#(a word in all caps): stuff i really love and get really excited about (ex: #TRAINS #COWS #PUPPETS #CLOWNS etc.)

#EEEEEEE (that's 7 Es): stuff that makes me go EEEEEEE (so cute animals mostly)

there are a bunch that are pretty self explanatory, stuff like #art and #fandom. i have a few longer tags that relate to specific aesthetics/vibes/playlists of mine. if you're wondering about any in particular feel free to ask <3

[turnwashingtonsbaddies]

Best Turn Fandom Meme Bracket

because I am mad with power now that i have polls and because i consider myself to be the figurehead of the present-day turn shitpost movement, i am making a bracket of memes!! specifically, what inside joke/running gag we would collectively choose to represent the fandom. examples of jokes would be things like "warm eggs" or "spicy quaker" or "peggy's female hysteria" you get the vibe. but even if you still don't get the vibe, you can always stalk my blog for inspiration lmaooo

there are 16 spots, but right now, the bracket is empty. i was just going to do all my favs, but it would probably be more ~representative democracy~ of me to take nominations!! so, in the comments/reblogs of this post or in my ask box/messages tell me which jokes you want to see represented in the final bracket! then, i'll compile the most popular 16, and the political chaos can commence!!

[austerlitzborodinoleipzig]

Favorite Programs of 2023/2024 - Women's SP

I'm debating calling it a good year. There's actually a lot of programs on that list but would i call them masterpieces ? Not really, at least not all of them. While all these programs are good they're not groundbreaking. I feel like most of the field spent the season honing in their particular brand, or aesthetic, not doing that much of exploring with some exceptions.

Honorable mentions

Clare Seo (Simple Gifts) - NOT a Quaker song, thank you very much but a Shaker song (it's another Christian sect tho). I like it very much. I like the music, and Clare has gorgeous posture and musicality. It's very much Americana but I found it fresh.

Mao Shimada (Americano) - costume is the cutest thing. It's chock full of delightful moments and transitions. Looses points because the step sequence has imho too much of two-foot skating and stop-and-pause moments, but that's a recurring problem with Kaitlyn Weaver's choreo.

Seoyeong Wi (Pride and Prejudice) - perfect packaging for a young debuting skater and I'm surprised it's not picked more often.

Rino Matsuike (One Day I'll Fly Away) - One day Rino will choose music that is not a warhorse. Meanwhile I'll enjoy arguably the best skating skills of the field.

9th - Yu-Feng Tsai - Copycat, by Billie Eilish, choreo by Jun-Fei Ren

Arguably the best choreo in the junior field. Fun. Sassy. Unlike anything else seen this season. Okay, yes it was Billie Eilish but it was a song that's not usually picked, it was fresh and it was good.

8th - Niina Petrokina - Run, by Marvin Brooks, choreo by Mark Pillay

I liked her previous SP better, and I'm not that fond of the music but Niina wins this by sheer commitment to the performance. One of the skaters where the whole body is involved, especially during the step sequence. That's what the GOE bullets are supposed to reward.

7th - Young You - Otono Porteno, by Astor Piazzolla, choreo by Tom Dickson.

The attitude, the sass, the steps, THAT SPLIT JUMP. She did the right thing bringing it back.

6th - Haein Lee - Seirenes, by Christopher Tin, choreo by Lori Nichols and Carolina Kostner

First rule we should live by after this season : whenever Carolina and Lori are involved, they strike gold. Happened to Yuma, happened to Haein. Seirenes is eerie, moody and a very good vehicle for Haein. She had us worried for a moment but did the right thing bringing it back.

5th - Jia Shin - Fascination, by Fermo Marchetti, choreo by David Wilson

I never really got Jia until this season. This is I think her first program that made me go : "okay. I see now why other fans are obsessed with her skating. I get it". If you asked me, I would stop giving Jia twee instrumental pieces and moody ballads and give her waltzes, more classical pieces. Jia has the musicality to keep up those kinds of tempi. She has the lines to express that kind of music. She has the flow to match the rythm. The transitions in and out of her 2A ? Stuff dreams are made of.

With Fascination, I love the music, I love Jia in it, I love watching her hitting those notes, I love her inside edge Ina Bauer during her step sequence... I'm a new fan.

4th - Hana Yoshida - Koo Koo Fun, by Lazer Disk, choreo by Kaitlyn Weaver

I'm fascinated with the way Hana picks her programs because her choices are immaculate. For two seasons straight, down to her gala programs, Hana has picked bangers after bangers. Koo Koo Fun is outside the box, funny, stands out musically, the choreo is quirky...

Doesn't make it straight to the top because every time she skated to it, I found Hana a little bit too stiff for the vibe the program requires. She needs to skate with more abandon and fun and that will only come with experience. Her mind is already there, her body needs to follow.

3rd - Yelim Kim - Ladies in Lavender, by Nigel Hess, choreo by Jeffrey Buttle

I don't remember who on this website said that Yelim's skating makes them believe in a better world, but I do agree. There's something healing in her skating. Right now there's no skater in the field that can match the elegance and quiet dignity of Yelim's skating.

2nd - Loena Hendrickx - I'm Ninalu, by Mors Avraham, choreo by Adam Solya

Loena at her very best and when she's on she pisses everywhere on the stage. I honestly don't get the complaints about doing too much party programs. As long as she serves it as hard as she does, she can take us to the club anytime she wants. I don't care about versatility if a skater has found a niche they do extremely well.

1st - Kaori Sakamoto - Baby God Bless You, by Shinya Kyozuka, choreo by Jeffrey Buttle

Forget what i just said. Kaori wins it but virtue of trying and succeeding in bringing in a new style. The concept is cute. Skating to the string version is the superior choice, as the music is more climatic than with the piano version. And the step sequence shows how above the field Kaori is right now.

[northernslug]

There is not an insignificant number of Quakers who were raised Catholic. And, reflecting on my experience in the Roman Catholic Church, it makes sense.

Six year old me kneeling in a pew, eyes scrunched, and hands plastered together, chatting with God in a room full of dozens of people quietly doing something similar.

Nine year old me, taking a moment to recognize the many forms that God can take, from the Trinity to the many saints – and understanding that there is something expansive about God. That there is more than just the Father.

Ten year old me, weeping during mass and silently asking for forgiveness, and leaving the service feeling lighter, calmer.

Twelve year old me, writing a letter to the Sister who ran CCD, explaining why I felt it was important for me to take on a male saint instead of a female one as my patron Saint during confirmation.

Fourteen year old me, gladly joining a youth retreat that had extended periods of sitting in silent prayer.

So many journals filled with conversations with God.

And then of course, the rest of it. Being told I was inherently evil and sinful. Believing my thoughts were being watched and would determine whether I would burn for all eternity. Sitting alone in a windowless room with an old man at age 7 and telling him all the ways I’ve been bad in my life. Being told that my sex is the reason I cannot pursue any type of ministry/leadership in the church. Believing that my disabilities were my fault. And the guilt. Oh the guilt.

Being Quaker now truly honors the parts of Catholicism that I vibed with. The silent contemplative discernment. Listening to the small voice inside. Quiet worship with others. The breadth of the spirit.

But it also honors the parts of my religious upbringing that I don’t wish to recreate. There’s no stained glass or gold trim. No priests nor laypeople. No holidays, no liturgical calendar. No Vatican. Plus, there’s SPICES.

I do think I understand why so many Quakers were once Catholic. I’ve found my Quaker faith practice allows space for the duality of both spirit and religious trauma. And that’s pretty cool.

[bending-sickle]

okay so there's two instances in this book (so far - i'm on chapter 4) where the catholic section of christianity gets singled out as The Most Square and Repressed which...i found weird.

"Others to Avoid in Three-Ways - Devout Catholics: Brimming with built-in homophobia and sex shame, these guiltmongers have a strong hunch that nonprocreative sex is morally suspect."

and

"Unpack your bags: To get into a three-way without unconsciously dumping your old relationship baggage into the present situation, you need to be willing to unpack those bags from the past. [...] Maybe you were raised Catholic and you can't shake the guilt. We've all got some scarring, but if you're too insecure or you've got huge emotional wounds that you've been repressing for thirty years, try to work through those obstacles before having a three-way."

and i couldn't figure out why orthodox or protestant or quaker or anglican or or or (you get my drift) weren't ever lumped into this. because, uh, the rest of the gang isn't exactly all about that sexual liberation and guilt-free existence, from what i gather.

and then i come across this tidbit of information which, to me, explains pretty much everything about both this and the book's vibes in general:

THEN he went onto say how Vicki’s parents were strict Catholics and so didn’t believe in sex before marriage, so made Vicki wear a promise ring. And then so when they moved into their first apartment they were moving the bed that they made into a room and Vicki’s finger got jammed and the promise ring got broke and fell off.

there is no video that i could find, as that detail is between Part 3 and Part 4 of the videos for Sunday, Asylum 7 2011.

now wiki doesn't have "promise ring" per se but it does have "purity ring" and "pre-engagement ring" and from the "no sex! bad!" context, it's clearly the former:

Purity rings (also known as promise rings, abstinence rings, or chastity rings) are rings worn as a sign of chastity. Since the 1990s, in the United States, Christian organizations in the United States used the purity ring as a symbol of commitment. In particular, Catholic and evangelical Christian groups which promoted virginity pledges and virginity before marriage, such as True Love Waits and Silver Ring Thing. Wearing a purity ring is typically accompanied by a religious vow to practice abstinence until marriage. Chastity rings are part of the abstinence-only sex education movement and are intended to act as a physical reminder of the wearer's chastity vow.

which means, the author of these passages and this entire book was raised by that particular shade of religion. i'm not often one who cares about an author's biography when reading a text but frankly i think this helps explain and contextualize quite a bit of the really weird comments and presumptions in this book.

- Chapters 3, 4, The Threesome Handbook: A Practical Guide to Sleeping with Three (2007) by Victoria (Vicki) Vantoch

&

user soulfisting's ask reply, "The Things I Do For Love: Misha's engagement story - informally the one where he got really emotional"

[mermaidsirennikita]

HR with the moral compass trope please!!!! It can be the hero or heroine

Hi! I assume this is the "x person is my moral compass" thing, right? Maybe morality chain-lite? Forgive me lol, I hope this is the right vibe.

Obviously, there's Devil in Winter by Lisa Kleypas, if you haven't read it yet. I find that Evie really holds Sebastian to a higher standard.

I recently read Lorraine Heath's Beyond Scandal and Desire. Mick Trewlove isn't a horrible person, but he is... morally dubious, and his entire plan is to destroy peoples' lives for revenge. When he meets Aslyn, her dignity and goodness slowly erodes his resentment, and again, she holds him to a higher stanfard.

Shadowheart by Laura Kinsale IIIIS this. The hero is a totally coldhearted assassin, and initially forces the heroine to marry him for entirely self-centered reasons. He teaches her a thing or two and she becomes a bit more jaded, but overall she stays strong and fucks with his sense of morality. There's a beautiful scene where he's like "go take confession, but I'm not going because I'm anathema and can't be in a Church" (looollll he's very dramatic) and she's basically like "I'm not going to until you do, because if I go to Heaven without you it's not Heaven". It's BEAUTIFUL. TW: first encounter is non.

Kinsale is really good at this, and For My Lady's Heart (which comes before Shadowheart, about a different couple) also has this. However, in this case the heroine is known as this cold snake of a woman, and the hero is this knight who pledged himself to her like, over a decade ago and hasn't seen her since. He's really disappointed with the person she turns out to be lol. He isn't perfect, but he's more idealistic than her, and softens her a lot, makes her question her life, etc.

Aaaand another Kinsale. Flowers from the Storm has a hedonistic rake hero (like, he literally has a pregnant mistress in the beginning and is like "whatever pass the kid off as your husband's") who goes through a total life change (he has a stroke which makes it difficult for him to process language and therefore he can't speak) and is taken care of by this very pure-hearted Quaker girl who he begins to fall for. She has to relax a little, but he also learns about a different perspective from her.

What I Did for a Duke has a revenge-driven hero who seeks to seduce this heroine to get back at her brother. HOWEVER! She knows his game from the beginning. He begins to soften and sort of go back to this softer, kinder version of himself through her.

The Madness of Viscount Atherbourne by Elisa Braden has another "vengeful heroine learns better through the heroine" story. The hero is trying to avenge himself upon the heroine's brother (who I think killed his brother in a duel) and ruins her, forcing a marriage. But she accepts better of him, and he has to rise to the occasion.

The Dragon and The Pearl by Jeannie Lin. In this case, the heroine is a bit tricky herself, but is ultimately a much better person than the hero (a warlord who takes her captive lol) and he finds himself basically crumbling for her.

Hugo and The Maiden by S.M. LaViolette. I've referred to this as "Devil in Winter if Sebastian lived a rougher life". The hero is a famous sex worker who's entirely money-motivated and cynical. He's framed for a crime that gets him transported, and due to a shipwreck, ends up stranded on this tiny island, where he ends up getting entangled with the vicar's daughter, who's very moralistic and expects better form him. He totally falls for he and is like "FINE!!!! I GUESS I HAVE TO BE A GOOD PERSON NOW!!!". It's so good. TW: discussion of sexual abuse in the past, though he's remarkably blase about it.

When the Duke Was Wicked (Rum On Lips) has some of this, as the hero is this ridiculous rake and when he begins hanging with the heroine, he's like ".... oh no she's reawakening my heart...."

Angel in a Devil's Arms by Julie Anne Long. This one has a hero who was presumed dead returning, back for Revenge. The heroine actually isn't perfect; she was a married man's mistress, and has since made friend's with the guy's widow and is running a boarding house. But she wants to do better for herself, which is why she's resisting him, and he has to work on himself to be worthy of her.

The Serpent Prince by Elizabeth Hoyt. This one is great. The hero is a rake, borderline villain, and the sweet, pure heroine picks him up when he's like... dead on the side of the road lmao. He has to shape up for her, and she's very much his moral compass.

The Devil of Downton by Joanna Shupe. This hero is a literal gang leader in Gilded Age New York, and the heroine is a do-gooder who he intends to corrupt... But she has more of an effect on him than he expected.

The Rakess by Scarlett Peckham. The heroine of this one is an unrepentant "rakess" (albeit with a backstory that makes it understandable) and she gets lured back into reexamining her extremely messy life by a kind widower with two kids.

How to Marry a Marquess by Stacy Reid. This hero has been super rejected by society because he recognized his illegitimate daughter, and the heroine is his longtime friend who accesses a softer side of him. She's by no means perfect, but I do think you get this idea (and she's his other friend's sister, so he's very guilty when he begins... teaching her things).

The Duke Gets Even by Joanna Shupe. I think Lockwood is a mild version of this for Nellie, in the "emotional key" sense. Like, she's definitely not a bad person, but she is very emotionally closed off, and Lockwood spends so much of that book (after promising a no strings affair lmao) going "BITCH I LOVE YOU PLEASE LOVE ME BACK" and it's honestly both beautiful and extremely funny.

Untamed by Elizabeth Lowell. The hero of this one is a 90s Elizabeth Lowell hero, so of course he's trash, while the heroine is a genuinely good person who begins to crack open his heart after their arranged marriage.

How to Steal A Scoundrel's Heart by Vivienne Lorret. The heroine in this one is ruined and turns to the hero to have him as her "protector". He does this thing where he gives his mistresses four month contracts and then drops them with a severance in order to keep emotions at bay. She's a sweet person and totally turns his world upside down.

The Duke and The Lady in Red by Lorraine Heath. This is another one where the heroine isn't perfect, but she has a good heart and moves the hero the right direction. He's a super hedonistic rake who cares for no one, and she's actually a con artist--but with VERY good reasons. At first he's pissed when he realizes she's conning him (early in the book) but once he knows that reason... It totally changes his life.

[feytouchedtwilight]

I used to be really into witchcraft and paganism. I thought I had found my calling, like the religion/spirituality I finally felt comfortable in. It’s weird to think that was nearly ten years ago. My health collapsed and degraded and I completely lost touch of my spirituality, I lost touch of everything about myself. I want to get back into it, I feel like my soul is malnourished or whatever. But I can’t find what actually feels right for me?

I’ve never been one for spells or deity worship although I really tried at first. I tried to make it work. But if I’m being honest it all feels silly and fake and like I’m playing pretend. I see all these other pagans/polytheists/witches really vibing with their practice and truely believing in it, talking to spirits and deities. I can’t… I can’t seem to do that? It makes me feel… disconnected? alienated? from humanity, the fact that I can’t. Because religion and spirituality are deeply human things- the drive for ritual and tradition is so engrained into us as a species. And I can’t? seem to do that?? no matter how hard I try??? I don’t really know how to describe it and it might be connected to being schizoid. Barely anything feels truely real to me because my ego is split (the “false” self that is presented to the world and the “true” self locked high in a tower away from any emotions). It’s a personality disorder, I don’t know if the split will ever heal. So what am I to do?

Genuinely, I have no idea where to start. I know I feel strongly called towards my ancestors and the things they believed. Irish, Scottish, and Welsh polytheism/paganism calls to me and so does Quakerism. But I don’t know if I believe in any deities in the sense of them being deities. I vibe with animism- with believing that everything has “god” or spirit or “awen” inside of them. Humans are just another animal that exists within nature. And maybe deities don’t exist in the sense of them being a named person from a certain culture but like… maybe they are a spirit representing/originated from/inhabiting different domains and ideas and concepts. Like a spirit that contains war and battle and sovereignty in all that it means (even though that god would have different names in different cultures) or a spirit that contains hospitality and shelter and hearth fire and healing. I’m not sure I’m expressing this properly. I’m not even sure this is right.

I just…….. I’ve never ever had the experience of something speaking to me. or touching me. or reaching out to me. any of it. I’ve never had the sense that gods and spirits truely do exist. And I can’t force myself to just believe. Even though that’s what “faith” is at its core. I’m just……. I’m too logically minded, too cold hard facts. My psyche is completely split away from faith and beliefs and hope and such. but oh gods am I tired of feeling like this is all play acting. I want it to feel real. but maybe that’s asking too much when I can’t actually feel even baser human emotions like love or happiness.