#queer women getting screwed over time and time again

[ignorant-rat-carcass]

Seriously, and I can’t stress this enough;

FUCK. THIS. SHIT.

[thecoolnauta]

Idea for Sagau but instead of MC as a young adult who is love by everyone is just... A TEEN (xd)

THIS GOING TO BE LONG SO

So okay, (I'm bad at English so, I don't thinks this might be well understod but, please excuse it :'u) this actually came from me watching TOH while eating so.

Just think of it, where all Teyvat's knows about this mystic and graceful creature that is always near the Traveler and their little rare pixie. They know that a unknown creature even above their gods is traveling with the (far to nice) foreign.

They don't know how they look, they don't know how they act or even how they sound like, but they can feel them. A warm hug filled with curiosity and dearly affection.

Maybe they won't make a whole new religion for that new god, but they might pray them instead of their own Archons for very important wishes. Hoping for an instant, you'll hear them.

And even the Archons are cool with it!!! Since the Traveler came to Teyvat, everyone feels that love biting their skin in a childish way.

They imagine you like a benevolent and playful deity, a charming and elegant being that helps even with the most harmful missions, just for save them.

Just for make them smile again.

And there's you! A (probably) neurdivergent queer kid who might be not fully North American and is obsessed with fantasy and writing fanfics about your parental figures.

Yeah, you might get to intense when is about them. But hey, even Jesus doubt.

In your universe, Genshin is not, in fact, a thing. The whole freaking lore and the "gameplays" are just very detailed dreams you have every night.

You can't actually tell when it started, but it have a while so-

Yeah, you are really The Creator, huh.

Well, let me tell you something, IT'S GETTING WORSE

When your not that accepting parents decided to put you on a weird camp thing where you will be a honorable member of American society (yeah u know what I meant) a weird but cute... create stool your diary where you write your dreams.

To write a fanfic or smt idk.

And that, really weird existence with withe fluffy hair(?) and golden eyes ran into a forest that you never actually notice.

But screw that you probably change the state, you're getting back that diary.

Persecution cringy cinematic, blahblahblah and you get to a very gigante estructure more old than your last name. The fantasy and pure white practically inviting you to take a closer look.

And you do, of course (maybe was your internal desire of still being you)

You pass over it, the creature is gone, but you have your diary back. Yey :D!!

But man, this isn't the Americans, they would never take care of a forest like this.

Then you almost do the same travel of the not Abyss twin (I'm getting tired, I just want to name one of them but AHG), you walk all over the forest, see with amusement all around and WHY IT'S TOO FAMILIAR FOR THE LOVE OF MADOKAMI.

And yeah, after finding slimes and a statue of a very pretty man you realized you were in your dreams world.

oh, oh

Yep, you were in fuckin Teyvat's floor, touching Teyvat's grass and breathing Teyvat's oxygen...

AND LISTEN TO ME you just fall into Mondstadt to find a guide and a way to scape and all treats you like the Traveler but ways less useful. Just offering you food and awkward smiles by your strange kind of act.

(they just can't handle a neurdivergent kid with anger issues talking Spanish when they can't understand how the time works)

So after the fourth night sleeping on a bunch of boxes because you refuse to have any type of cold blood animal on you when you sleep, an aventure took you to the Favonius knights.

(Totally not a request, Katherine you inteligent metallic women)

So they might just seeing you like a kid who happens to be in the same spot as the Traveler, but less stronger and more but MORE curious than them.

You smeems to know everything, not just of them but their nation, asking thing that a normal foreign would never ask.

But after a while of overthinking, they just decide to let you wandering around Mondstadt, just if you don't cause any trouble.

In fact, you did, but shhhh..

Yeah, all that would ended like a weird but not problematic at all situation BUT OH NO LORD BARBAS FREE THEM BECAUSE THEY GET ATTACHED TO U MORE THAN THEY WANTED.

Found family found familying and stuff, you're totally Pog dude, never forget that.

AND WHEN THEM FINDS OUT YOU'RE THE CREATOR WHO TAKE CARE OF THEM AND TAKE CARE OF KILLING THE MENACE WITH THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP THEY JUST:

"Oh for you, kiddo you were the creator all along!!!"

"The what?"

But you just go before they even finish to assimilate all that information bomb. And that repeats with all the nations, for the love of hippie god son

So yeah, they just re program their windows and treat u like the above mortals type and you're just confused and too neurdivergent for that shit so just "continue talking man, yeah I totally understand the fact that u see me as the god of gods, yeah sure, rad"

And yeah, that was everything, it's 3:00 and I'm very dizzy so, please don't mind my really bad grammar and thanks for reading all that.

(If you want to use the idea just give credits, it's okay) Maybe If I have time I'll write an actual fanfic or more headcanons but now I'm going to sleep.

Stay safe, remember: you can fight all this shit, you'll get better soon. Bye :v

[forabeatofadrum]

Ljubim te (12/24)

Notes: Woah! We’re halfway there!

*cough* Ahem, sorry. Hi. Long time no see, I know. Well, it hasn’t been that long, but it’s been a while. I am definitely going to finish this fic, preferrably before the 2023 Advent. I just haven’t had a lot of time for fic writing because I started working on my master thesis and that takes a lot of time, so when I am writing these days, I am writing academically about the representation of queer women in TV and film, so I have no clue when the next chapter will be up.

So. Uh. Sorry in advance.

AO3 | S&C  

–  

CONVERGENCE

When Kurt opens the front door to his building, he takes in Blaine’s appearance. He looks terrible. Blaine didn’t really explain what was going on over the phone. Kurt pushes his own wish for distance aside and he hugs Blaine.

“Come on in,” Kurt says during the hug.

Kurt’s place isn’t glamorous. It’s a normal four story house that got turned into four shitty apartments for students. Kurt lives on the fourth floor with Sunil, André and a Slovakian guy who Kurt’s never talked to.

“Sorry for the mess,” Kurt says when they arrive on the right floor, “Let’s just go to my room. Everywhere else is… questionable.”

“Thanks,” Blaine says quietly and he follows Kurt upstairs.

Once they’re in Kurt’s room, Blaine drops his bag to the ground and he sits on Kurt’s bed. It makes sense, since Kurt’s office chair and his tiny desk are farther away, but it still makes Kurt feel weird. It’s weirdly intimate, even though that is not what is happening.

Kurt stays at the door. Blaine has his head in his hands.

“What happened?” Kurt asks, sounding worried. He wonders why Blaine is in such a state.

When Blaine explains what happened at his work, Kurt’s stomach drops. Blaine did the right thing and yet he is being talked down. That’s messed up.

Fuck it, Kurt thinks again and he walks to the bed so that he can sit down and give Blaine another hug. Blaine leans into the touch. He really needed it. Kurt can feel Blaine relax in his arms.

“What did Tadeja say?” Kurt asks.

“I don’t know. I kind of ran off.”

“I’m certain she is on your side. Screw Dejan.”

Blaine nods against Kurt.

“Yeah. I wonder how she’s feeling. This isn’t fun for her either.”

“You can give her a call?”

Blaine nods again and to Kurt’s dismay, he lets go of Kurt so that he can reach for his bag. He still looks a bit shaken, but now that he’s offloaded his thoughts, he seems to be more calm and Kurt is happy that he could help.

“Can I?” Blaine nods towards the door.

“Use my room,” Kurt says, “André is home. I’ll be in the kitchen, getting something to drink.”

Kurt does exactly that. He leaves Blaine in his room and he goes to the kitchen. He formulates a plan to cheer Blaine up. He makes a tray with snacks and two glasses with something to drink.

He passes André on his way back to his room, who, to Kurt’s surprise, gives him a thumbs up. Did André hear Blaine come in? And if so, then what is he implying?

Kurt waits at the door, listening. He hears Blaine saying goodbye to Tadeja and once Kurt’s sure the conversation is over, he goes back into the room.

Blaine looks pleasantly surprised when he sees the tray.

“What is all of this?” he asks.

“I don’t have anything to do today,” Kurt says, which is true. He is a bit ahead of his coursework, so he has time to hang out with Blaine. Hanging out with Blaine sounds fun. It’s been a while since it was just the two of them and Kurt knows he’s the one who tried to put distance, but he’s missed Blaine.

And Blaine needs him now.

They decide to watch a movie and when Blaine tells Kurt that he’s a fan of RENT, Kurt’s heart skips a beat.

Kurt doesn’t have a designated seating area. His room is too small for that. Heck, there isn’t even a shared living room in this house. So instead Kurt moves his desk chair towards the bed and he balances his laptop on it. The bed will have to do as a replacement couch.

The two have a great time. They try not to sing along, since they don’t want to annoy Kurt’s roommates, but sometimes they can’t help it. When Blaine sings a part of Out Tonight, Kurt playfully puts his hand over his mouth and Blaine giggles. They laugh, they cry, they have both seen the movie multiple times, but it’s just fun. That’s what Blaine needs. He’s more relaxed than before.

Kurt notices that Blaine’s moved closer to him, but he doesn’t comment on it.

When they reach the end of the movie, they’re a fucking mess. Blaine has dried most of his tears and Kurt has a smile on his face, because he is a sucker for a happy ending. Call him hopeless, but he’s a romantic.

The two of them watch how love prevails and Kurt shoots a look towards Blaine.

To his surprise, Blaine’s looking at him, not the screen. Kurt wants to ask Blaine why he’s staring, but he can’t, because all words die out in his throat when he sees the way Blaine is looking at him. Blaine’s eyes are wide and he looks so entranced by Kurt.

Maybe it’s the convergence of a romantic ending and the way Blaine is staring, because Kurt suddenly feels overwhelmed. It’s too much. Kurt looks away and he’s about to say something casual about to movie, to move away from whatever small moment just happened between them, but the next thing Kurt knows it’s that Blaine’s hand is on his cheek. Blaine turns Kurt’s face towards him and Blaine leans in.

Blaine is kissing Kurt.

Blaine is kissing Kurt.

The rational part of Kurt’s brain knows that something is up, because Kurt’s straight best friend who he has a crush on shouldn’t be kissing him, but Blaine’s lips against his feel so good that he doesn’t care about rationality anymore. Instead he wraps his arms around Blaine, to pull him closer, and Kurt kisses back.

It’s so good. Kissing Blaine shouldn’t be this good. Kurt opens his mouth so that Blaine’s tongue can slide in and fuck, it is so good. Blaine’s other hand is on the back of Kurt’s head and he’s potentially ruining Kurt’s hair, but Kurt doesn’t care. This is exactly what Kurt has wanted. This is everything he dreamt of. This is-

This is what he didn’t allow himself to think about, because Blaine has a girlfriend.

“Wait,” Kurt says against Blaine’s lips, “Wait.”

Kurt pulls away and Blaine tries to chase him, but Kurt puts his hand on Blaine’s chest.

Blaine’s eyes snap open and Kurt can see the realisation sink in.

“I…” Blaine trails off and he slowly takes his hands off Kurt’s face, “I… uhm…”

“Blaine-”

“I need to go.”

“Blaine!”

Blaine jumps from the bed and Kurt tries to go after him, but Blaine slams Kurt’s bedroom door shut in his face. Kurt’s left alone with his thoughts. What just happened?

–  

End notes: Ooooh! Livin’ on a prayer!

But uh, yeah, sorry for the cliffhanger 👈(ﾟヮﾟ👈)

[rollercoasterwords]

omg hi, hello, it’s me again (anon from the non fandom rec ask)

I’d absolutely love to hear the nonfiction recs you alluded to as well.

Already added all the last books to my reading list, thank you so so much 😖🙏

omg hi hello yay this is so exciting for me okay here are some nonfiction recommendations!!! most of these are pretty accessible even if u aren't super familiar with reading theory + i've noted the ones that are a little more dense or might require some more background knowledge before jumping in:

The Invention of Heterosexuality by Jonathan Ned Katz. Literally what the title says - Katz traces the historical invention of the word "heterosexuality" along with how its meaning has changed over time, bringing into focus just how recent our modern social constructions of sexuality are. You can also find a condensed article version if you don't want to read an entire book--same title and everything.

Screw Consent: A Better Politics of Sexual Justice by Joseph Fischel. I just finished this book recently and loved it, but it's not something I would recommend engaging with if you don't already have some like...groundwork for engaging with feminist and queer theory. Like it is very much not a beginner text but the work it's doing is so so important in addressing a lot of the issues with our post #MeToo cultural rhetoric and politics when it comes to discussing rape culture and sexual violence.

Sister Outsider by Audre Lorde. Personally I simply think everyone should read some Lorde at some point in their lives.

Borderlands/La Frontera: The New Mestiza by Gloria Anzaldúa. Because I also think everyone should read some Anzaldúa at some point in their lives.

Women, Race & Class by Angela Davis. Another essential feminist text.

Are Prisons Obsolete? by Angela Davis. Highly highly highly recommend for anyone wanting to learn more about prison abolition (specifically within a U.S. context).

The End of Policing by Alex S. Vitale. This goes hand in hand with the Angela Davis listed above and is a pretty straightforward breakdown of why police are unnecessary and some possibilities of what a society without them (or defunding them) could look like (again, within a U.S. context).

+ some bonus recs that are a little more niche:

Regarding the Pain of Others by Susan Sontag. This book dives into the ethics of like...trauma + photography but honestly a lot of the points Sontag makes feel very relevant beyond that context considering the world we live in where pretty much everything gets uploaded online.

No Future: Queer Theory and the Death Drive by Lee Edelman. This is perhaps the single most influential work of theory i've come across in my life on just like...a personal level. Like Edelman's theory of reproductive futurity is burned forever in my brain and fundamentally altered my worldview. That being said this book is NOT FUN to read and it is incredibly dense. I had to return to it many times and discuss it at length with the professor who was teaching it to me before I finally started to grasp it, and then it was literally like my eyes had been opened and could never be shut again. so! i feel compelled to include it in any nonfiction recommendation list, but i definitely recommend going in with some groundwork already laid when it comes to ur engagement with queer theory.

Men, Women, and Chainsaws by Carol J. Clover. Simply a quintessential text for anyone interested in feminism + horror, which i very much am.

Zombies and Sexuality: Essays on Desire and the Living Dead ed. by Shaka McGlotten and Steve Jones. This book is soooo fucking fun i absolutely love zombie theory. some of the essays are denser than others so it's probably best to go in once you already have some background engaging w queer + feminist theory. my favorite chapters were "Take, Eat, These Are My Brains: Queer Zombie Jesus"; "A Love Worth Un-Undying For: Neoliberalism and Queered Sexuality in Warm Bodies"; and "Re-Animating the Social Order: Zombies and Queer Failure".

+ my current nonfiction read:

Texts after Terror: Rape, Sexual Violence, and the Hebrew Bible by Rhiannon Graybill. Look even if you've never touched the bible in your life my favorite thing about this book is the way Graybill questions our frameworks for discussing sexual violence and proposes new ones that better account for the gray area that is so often (and so problematically) scrubbed out by the cultural emphasis on consent. This text engages with the Fischel book I mentioned above, it's just that Graybill's trying to add more nuance into our discussions of rape culture specifically in her area of expertise, which happens to be the Hebrew bible. This is another one where I'd recommend some groundwork in feminist and queer theory before jumping in though :)

[annamarabella-grumble]

mass effect replay thoughts, episode 5

episode 1 / episode 2 / episode 3 / episode 4 / episode 6 / episode 7 / episode 8 / episode 9

dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to nuke Virmire from orbit — and to make sure someone gets left behind

it’s Kaidan. viewers voted for Kaidan. last looks at LT, everyone, we won’t hear him breathing over comms like that again

oh and Williams said something stunningly offensive, must be a space day ending in -y. insert principal skinner meme: no, it's the aliens' fault the alliance screwed over three generations of my family!

funky how defenders of (real or fictional) white women pivot so seamlessly from excusing xenophobia to outright transphobia when they find a queer person to target. that venn diagram sure is a fash circle, as ably demonstrated in stream chat last night. [hits ban button]

Saren being all “YOU DON’T KNOW SOVEREIGN LIKE I DO, HE PROMISED ME TOYS” my buddy my pal my metal-jawed cinnamon roll. you’re done. you're toast. it's already too late for you and all i've got left is pity.

managed to talk Wrex down even though I’d not picked up his family armour yet, thank goodness. everyone on that beach being like ‘oh what, a krogan listens to reason’ — suck it. jfc

having played through nearly all of ME3 at the same time as starting this re-play of ME1, i feel so terrible about the geth

running around apologising to the big lads

running around apologising to Wrex for having to destroy the cure only because it’s in the wrong hands

IMAGINE if we’d had Eve in ME1. IMAGINE if you’d had to explain this to HER. god.

CAPTAIN KIRRAHE I’M SO SORRY I FUCKED UP. i missed the turn to take out the turrets D:

why did they not streamline the equipment management. WHY. WHY DOES IT TAKE ME AN HOUR OFF-STREAM TO SORT THROUGH THIS STUFF

Garrus, I will not just let you shoot the man!! fuck’s sake!! ONLY if he forces my hand. which he did. and i was already turning away, so it was effectively Garrus and Liara who shot him

next week we’re on to Noveria 😬

here’s a treat for you:

[cayde6feetunder]

The fact that Tumblr listens to “hee hee how funny would it be if they gave us an award for seeing more than 600 posts” but refuse to acknowledge the people in this platform actively calling for change.

Watch this post get flagged as mature like everyone else’s that dared to call out staff for their bullshit or even straight up terminate my account for daring to post this.

But they have shown time and time again they are capable of listening to their userbase but only when it’s to make shitty fucking merch or basically dangle keys in front of our faces like we’re babies and y’all eat it up every single fucking time. They’re actively mocking us and actively making jokes out of us and at our expenses.

They are capable of listening to us but actively don’t.

They keep the Nazis here on purpose. They keep the pedos here on purpose. They keep the TERFs and the bigots and the idiots here on purpose because it makes them money at the detriment of their userbase like every other social media platform would. I don’t know why we even bother at this point.

I am sorry that I’m going to be censoring myself tiktok style here but I don’t want to trip the filter should that be an actual thing. I apologize for everyone who is using screen readers.

They mark trans women as ma//ture. I’m surprised they didn’t mark the picture I posted of myself as ma//ture yet but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time. I don’t post enn ess eff double yoo and haven’t come close to it at all. Every post I have touched that is marked as ma//ture is NOT ENN ESS EFF DOUBLE YOO. One of which was a post by another user calling out Tumblr for their bullshit that they most certainly did not mark as ma//ture.

They’re doing this entirely on purpose which we all know by now. I’m not saying to stop calling out Tumblr but it’s increasingly frustrated when they actively ignore us asking them to actually change their platform for the good/stop marking queer folk and trans folk as “sensitive content” but appeal to their good little obedient pets that lick their heels and eat their table scraps when they post “how funny would it be if (x)” who will rip you apart for reminding them that Tumblr is not their friend and is actively screwing them over.

They are not your friends. They are not a sad meek little wet cardboard meow meow in desperate need of money. It’s very telling how y’all who are actively choking on boot willingly give money to fucking Tumblr but then ignore donation posts from people who are actively suffering then turn around and post about how much you love and care about the exact same people who have been desperately posting for help. Y’all are performative as fuck.

Anyways rant over I don’t respect any of you people

[krakenshipwreck]

summer league update

hey, just realized i have not pontificated about my personal hockey journey in quite some time! and i like to do that here so i can look back and realize that i really have learned a lot and gotten better.

my co-ed team's season ended in april with a loss in the semifinals. everyone was good people and i enjoyed getting to know them, but as it turns out, playing with women is about one million times more fun than playing co-ed and i don't think i'm ever going back.

i played on two different women's teams this summer and they both had completely different vibes. i was in the middle of the pack ability-wise on one team, and on the other i was pretty clearly the worst player. i had more fun playing on the team where i felt competent, but it was also nice to play with a lot of better players who could always clean up my mistakes.

but most importantly both teams let me play defense! i am still a godawful winger but i am actually a somewhat competent defenceman now. i know where i'm supposed to be, i'm getting better at keeping pucks in the zone and sending decent passes to my teammates, and i've actually got better than average speed for players at my ability level so i can usually disrupt a breakaway. i still make a ton of mistakes but my mistakes end up in the back of the net less and less often.

one nice thing about playing women's hockey is that there aren't that many women who do it, so even from league to league you're basically playing with the same people in different combinations over and over again. so now i know a good cross-section of the women who play hockey around here, and i like them. and all of a sudden i have kind of a queer community? for me, it's rare and refreshing to come into a new space where the default assumption is not straight.

also, i think my personal hockey experience keeps me from developing the mindset that this sport is irreparably toxic. hockey is MINE, and i'm here, having fun, carving out space for myself along with all these other cool women. everything is not fucked.

other summer highlights:

--two assists (i thiiiiiink it should have been three but i do not blame the scorekeeper for not recognizing that i, the worst player on the ice, unexpectedly started that particular scoring sequence with a perfect cross ice pass)

--once i stole the puck from captain girl

--baby's first penalty (hooking, whoops. my team scored a shorty while i was in the box.)

--i got glasses. shockingly, it turns out i play better when i can see the puck.

--i feel like i do best with a strong D partner (especially someone who's offense-oriented; i am the ultimate stay-at-home D man) and i absolutely loved my partner for the first few games in one of my leagues: encouraging, supportive, always right there to save me when i screwed something up. then we got separated for a game and... her new pairing got scored on. a lot. and mine didn't. and it was really surprising and nice to realize that i wasn't just coasting under her lead, that i actually brought something to our pairing too.

[imkrisyoung]

Fascist nations take advantage of the people’s suffering. They talk a good game, saying that they’ll solve their citizens’ problems so that the people will support these. That’s how they get into power.

It’s happened many times before. Perhaps the worst time was before World War II when Germany supported Hitler because he knew that the Germans were facing unemployment and poverty, and they thought he would solve the country’s economic problems.

Hitler only made things worse by using the most marginalized, the most vulnerable people as scapegoats. He blamed Jews, LGBTQ people, disabled people and other groups he hated for the country’s problems, and he didn’t stop with Germany—he took over other European countries.

If you don’t think history can repeat itself, think again.

We’re starting to see the same thing happening in America, Canada and Europe. Times are hard, and the far-right politicians know this, so they’re trying to get as much support as they can from people who feel like they don’t have anything left to lose so the far-right can get into and maintain positions of power.

And who are the ones who are getting screwed in the process? BIPOC, queer and trans people, disabled people, women, people of marginalized religions…the list goes on.

But guess what? These politicians don’t care.

We must be vigilant in the fight against white supremacy, and in fighting for justice for the marginalized.

[zahri-melitor]

Newish Comics:

Batman #146: okay so this story is finally actually picking up from where The Gotham War left off, with the same fault lines still in place. This is good actually! I am very soft that Damian's determined to keep believing in Bruce (especially as they're also spending quality time together over in Batman & Robin). Also I'm still enjoying Vandal Savage being annoying (sorry not sorry).

Birds of Prey #8: This comic is being written for queer women who like reading about women and I for one salute the entire team for their (fan)service. Excuse me. Several of those Barda panels and Dinah screaming for Barbara are going on my iconic list immediately.

Blue Beetle #8: Roma quits, Oo’li has a crush on Jaime, Jaime finally finds out Brenda is working for Victoria, and Victoria just gets even more on-page evil. I can't believe this is the last storyline we're getting before this gets cancelled, dammit.

Shazam! #10: I had to stop to howl with laughter about every third panel of this. Do yourself a favour. Read Shazam! Darla’s flying with Hoppy on a Pegasus. Freddy just got his licence and bought the Shaz-van! Also omg the lettering for the dragons!

DC’S Spring Breakout! #1: A mixed bag.

The Harley Quinn and King Shark story certainly happened (and I've read better versions of it).

The Batman and Mr Freeze story was quite predictable but sweet. Hit all the right notes in the space awarded to it.

MegFitz had a World's Finest Teen Titans story it felt, well, very MegFitz. She was writing characters in roles rather than writing the characters. On the upside Garth actually got to be the hero, so that made me happy.

The Metal Men story I honestly couldn't judge on characterisation but it was workmanlike. I was amused by the random Atlantean surfer.

The Katana story however was GOOD and delightfully creepy and just really fun Tatsu writing. Highlight of the issue for me.

The Lex Luthor story was incredibly funny in that Lex is there complaining about the damned aliens and how "The forces against us grow in number by the day" with a picture that includes Kon. I'm pretty sure you don't remember why that's hilariously ironic at this point, Lex, but Kon was very much your own fault here. (Lex also saying to Jason 'having trouble digging yourself out of the grave? Skill issue!)

J'onn story! J'onn getting screwed over again by Batman protocols! (This isn't nice, J'onn had one of the worst protocols of the lot, and all I can think is that this far, FAR milder route of attack is Bruce realising how far the other plan was over the line). But the dual shapeshifter fight scene was quite fun. This was probably my second favourite.

The Superman and Jimmy story was...fine. Why is Manchester Black alive and annoying people? This just felt mostly like lead in to current stories (whatever is happening with Zod and Absolute Power).

The Warlord #46: this week in the Lost World of Skartaris Travis is still hunting Jennifer’s trail when he and Shakira end up in a fight with a dinosaur.

Travis gets knocked around, but Shakira is so badly injured that…Death comes to claim her!

I have never been apart from you, my Champion. I have walked where you walked — drunk the lives you have spilled. I am ever at your side.

Travis then follows Death trying to convince her to return Shakira, into a cavern in hell.

I really like this art for Death?

In any case, Travis negotiates with her to get Shakira back and trades her 10 years of his life.

And Travis and Shakira return to Skartaris. Both alive.

Meanwhile Jennifer arrives at the mysterious tower of the ‘master’ of the hunchbacked man who has been leading her.

[creaturebehavior]

i keep thinking recently about how confused i was sexually as an adolescent because i didn’t know about gender queerness yet and even once i started exploring gender and my own transness it was still very confusing for awhile and took many years honestly for me to truly accept and understand my experience with gender and what that means for my experience with my sexuality and i feel such relief for how far i’ve come. there’s been periods in my life where i felt so confused

i didn’t understand why i was so often attracted to gay men all my life? and why i was also attracted to women? and why was i really only attracted to people who were just more feminine in general regardless of their gender? and why do i feel like a hundred times more attracted to someone if they’re queer? And i had to deal with internationalized homophobia and confusion like. I know i’m not the only queer to have felt this way but i felt like it was predatory to be more attracted to someone who is queer especially if they’re trans, even though i am queer i am trans i am gay i am queer in every way beyond my gender and sexuality as well. but i felt like that was bad of me or wrong of me. Until i spent a little more time on this earth, got to know more queer people, got to know myself better, and realized that this is an extremely normal and common experience

the reason i use the word queer to describe myself is so much because of my journey with sexuality and gender.

i thought i was straight and cis, then i thought i was bisexual and then i learned the word pansexual and was like that’s me. and then i kind of thought i was a lesbian but i also felt like i was a boy but i was in denial about my trans feelings. then i accidentally fell in love with my best friend who was a guy so i was like i guess i’m pansexual for sure. then i accidentally discovered gender and then i was like i guess i’m gender fluid. and then i was like i think i’m a boy. then i was like i think im a boy like, mostly. and around this same time i learned it’s okay to just call myself bisexual and that it can mean the same thing as pansexual if you’re using the most popularly accepted definition of the word in the lgbt community so i was like okay i’m bi now i guess. but also at this same time defining my sexuality became pretty unimportant to me. then i felt pretty truly mostly genderless but a little fluid for a good few years. then i moved away and was mostly back in the closet out for safety reasons and that really started to screw with my head and i was genderless af through these years but everyone perceived me as a cis woman and called me she/her and i was also dating a straight man at the time who perceived me as cis so i was just feeling so unseen and strange and so didn’t feel like myself. then i got out of that relationship and had to get back in touch with myself again. then more moving and more being in the closet. eventually i realized i do identify more with womanhood than i did when i was younger and that is in part because of living five or so years being perceived as a cis woman it really changed my perception on who i am in relation to the world and what i feel that means for my identity personally. and so there’s been times now over the last couple years i identified a lot more with womanhood than i ever had previously. and this year i feel like i’ve been very in touch with parts of my gender i haven’t been in touch with in a long time. feeling boyish at times well really all over the board. genderfluid is still a term that’s true for me 10 years later but even better than that i think is to call myself queer. cuz what the hell is going on. and it applies to my experience with sexuality too.

and side note, while we’re on the topic of queer experiences. dating someone who is “straight” is very confusing because i am not straight so we cannot be straight together. but language i guess is just as complicated as sexuality. there’s plenty of people who identify as straight who engage in queer relationships or queer sex so. But at the time, especially being young, i remember feeling really stressed out at times dating a straight man because i felt this loss of identity in the face of his identity and thoughts would constantly swirl around in my head like “anyone who dates me is automatically a little gay just by the nature of the situation. if i’m trans then he’s technically a little gay” just trying to make sense of my experience. ugh being young an queer is hard.

i’m grateful i understand myself now and that i don’t have to stress out over stuff like this as much. i still feel some gender stress sometimes cuz it is a lot to process having a fluid gender at times, like sometimes i feel mentally like unprepared for a gender shift or i just wasn’t expecting to have a certain gender thought or feeling and i have to process it like. i still deal with that and dunno if that will ever leave but for the most part i feel a lot more at peace and have a lot more understanding of myself and queerness in general and it’s a relief.

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

one last thing before i disappear for the night, just bc i didn't want to forget to put out this reminder:

don't just cancel amc+ and boycott 11c. don't watch any of it. don't watch the 700 different extended universes. fear, beyond, origins, up, down, left, right, whatever the fuck else they have now. don't watch "exclusive insider info." stay off their youtube channels. don't retweet/reblog promotional material. amc has spread the twd universe out super thin, using the marvel method of "if it's part of the universe, someone will watch it!" prove them wrong. i've joked that twd is the only show amc seems to have, but honestly, they've been pumping out content for the sake of pumping out content for years now

carylers are not the only ppl they've screwed. they've been dangling a carrot out for rick stans/richonne shippers since the start of s9. they've completely fucked over maggie stans/gleggie shippers by putting negan and maggie on the same team (and same spin-off??). they have introduced and then immediately sidelined a shitton of characters, over and over again, a lot of whom are women, queer, or poc. they've sidelined ACTUAL BILLED ACTORS (ahem, melissa, ahem), or promised bigger roles to characters who have been there for years, only to pretty much forget their existence. melissa getting kicked off the spin-off is not a caryl-centric issue. it is a catalyst to highlight a bigger problem

it would be so easy for this to turn into a shipwar--the network would LOVE IT if that's what this dissolved into--but for once in our gd lives we are all on the same side here, even we aren't all aware of it yet

carylers are heading this project, sure, but listen--everyone in the twd fandom is here bc some part of it resonates with them, some part has their heart. well, creative control is being taken away from the actors, writers, and showrunners who care about it as much as we do. we're all victims here

so make them regret it. if you want to watch twd, pirate it. don't watch it on amc or netflix (or other streaming, idk if it's on different services outside of the usa)

in the scheme of the everything that is happening in the world all the time, this might seem like a relatively small and petty issue, but the truth is that any demonstration against a larger establishment that ends in victory becomes a model for others in the future. today we fight for melissa, and kang, and characters we love, but if we accomplish that, then tomorrow we can fight for wage equality for actresses, or fight streaming services when they make more and more surcharges despite being billion dollar companies, etc

small things matter. they matter a fucking lot. so cancel, boycott, unsubscribe, and while you're at it, lower your pitchforks aimed at each other, and point them in the direction of the people who deserve it

we are so much stronger as a unit, my dudes, so let's all sit down at the table together. we're serving the rich for supper

/soapbox (for now)

-diz

[neonponders]

This isn’t what @memes-saved-me had in mind for this post but lol (read their tags, they’re delightful) 

Thinking about a younger Billy and an older Steve today ✨

✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨

Billy scratched at the hair on his nape. He wanted to grow it out; really had always wanted long hair. And now, as he peered at the other sophomores trying to fluff themselves bigger to match the juniors and seniors, he just might.

Long hair was in. Mullets, rock star manes, extensions - even the opposite. Women with buzz cuts and pixie faux hawks. Pleasant little surprises in Hawkins, Indiana, and Billy might finally indulge in that.

Plenty in this town was backwards as all hell. Girls wearing white stockings like it was the fifties. Boys and girls alike clearly letting having learned hair styling from their out-of-date parents. Two girls with beehives sat in his English class.

But it was fine, because there was plenty of present-day styling, and Billy wouldn’t get any shit at home for matching his peers.

Cherry Lane. The most backwards spot in Indiana.

But that’s okay, too, because small town people need occupations. Parties.

A cool senior with teased, black hair walked right up to him and handed him a neon orange sheet of paper. He saw others holding similar invitations all day. 

Party on Friday night. Address, dress code, and everything.

Caught him by surprise, that a dress code would be needed for one of these things, but the invitation just said ~casual attire~ and someone in his Advanced Biology class told him that Tina hosts the best shin digs, often with costume themes.

So he went. The late summer evening was still humid as all hell, making the party split between the massive house and the matching yard a convenient way to start a weekend.

He’d had alcohol before. Enough to know he preferred tequila drinks over vodka and gin, but the safest way to wake up the next day was to just stick to beer. No matter how bitter or sharply carbonated some of it was made.

Maybe that’s why he heard people hollering about King Steve.

Keg stands weren’t original to Hawkins, but Billy preferred them next to a bonfire on a beach. But people were really yelling for this king to do the damn thing - 

“Steve, why are you even here? You graduated in May,” Tina’s voice cut through the din.

“I live down the street! You really think you’re making this much noise without me noticing? And all of you shut the hell up! I’ll do a keg stand the day one of you dip shits can actually beat my record.”

Another surprise:

Steve Harrington.

Billy’s dumb luck had him three years behind, so he couldn’t look at that face in the hallways. Sit behind that head of glossy, bouncy hair in European History. He still lived in town, apparently. Right down the street. Billy asked around and discovered he worked at the mall and attended the community college -

“Heard you been asking about me.”

Billy stared wide-eyed over his beer. He recovered quickly, but not before Steve bounced on the balls of his feet, smug. That hair was really distracting.

These people really gossip about everything.

“I didn’t think anybody actually went by a title like that.”

“I didn’t put it on my resume, that’s for sure.” Steve’s smirk grew into a smile. Christ, the guy really had that Indiana, home town handsome thing to his face.

That was dangerous. Billy’s gut told him so, the way it bruised like someone had poked it. And wanted to be poked again.

“Let’s do this properly. Steve.” He held his hand out.

It wasn’t queer to accept a handshake. “Billy,” he replied.

“Hargrove?”

“Jesus,” he scoffed involuntarily, releasing Steve’s large hand. His weight shifted over his feet. “Everybody knows everything here.”

“Not everything,” Steve said. His voice sounded...reassuring? But the way his eyes blinked...and a darkness slipped behind his eyes like a curtain. Adults liked to call it maturity. Wisdom beyond years. Billy called it ghosts. Everyone had ghosts behind their eyes. But...he had a hard time imagining what ghosts this pretty senior in suburban America would already have.

Then again, Billy knew better.

Except, as the party progressed and the weekend flowed into a new week, Billy really couldn’t imagine what made Steve slouch a little, and what made his eyes fade out of a conversation. Billy probably should have put more attention into how much he’d begun seeking the guy out.

He worked in the ice cream parlor at the mall. The uniform was equal measures ridiculous and hilarious, but his coworker was cool as hell. Robin. Not Steve’s girlfriend, even though they carpooled to work and community college.

Steve’s house proved just as luxurious as Tina’s, with a pool to boot. A house which supposedly stayed empty more often than it hosted its own family. Steve notoriously didn’t host parties, which....seemed uniquely odd.

Apart from Billy visiting the ice cream shop, it seemed Steve’s only other visitors were high school freshman. Which was weird. That’s weird, right? Then again, Billy was ball and chained to eight hours a day, five days a week to high school. There was plenty of time for Steve to be with friends his own age.

Except he showed up at the next party on Halloween.

Tina’s house boasted a surprising number of Hawkins graduated seniors, forcing the party all the way out onto the street.

Just like before, Steve manifested beside Billy, announcing himself with fingertips brushing his slowly growing, weak little mullet. “Growing that out?”

Steve’s already heavy eyelids were heavier with alcohol. Billy had his customary cup of beer, but his cheeks flushed for a different reason. He had to rub the back of his neck to make the tickle stop.

“Yeah. Maybe it’ll touch my shoulders next year.”

“Have you trimmed it?”

Billy frowned at him. He’d heard some things come out of Steve’s mouth that were endearing in a ‘bless his heart’ kind of way, and this was among them. “No, that defeats the point of making it longer.”

Steve shook his head and waved for him to follow. “Come here. I’ll trim it.”

“You’re not cutting my hair,” Billy scoffed. And followed.

Upstairs.

Billy did his best not to look around the living room; to see any eyes apart from the ones he imagined on his backside. He followed at a leisurely pace. Not eager to be with King Harrington anywhere...

The guy walked right into the closed master bedroom. Billy stood outside of it, stunned at his audacity and the fact that no one was inside it already - 

“You coming?”

Billy’s not a coward -

Actually he is. But he’s an overeager sophomore with a dangerous crush even more.

Steve dug through the master bathroom’s drawers until he found a pair of scissors in their own case. “Sit on the tub.”

By tub, he meant jacuzzi edge. Billy perched. Steve gripped his shoulder to step into the tub with a comb that smelled of foreign hair product and aftershave. Billy’s nose wrinkled. “Wash that first.”

Then he jumped at the tub faucet turning on right beside his ass. Steve laughed. “Chill out. I’m washing it.”

Billy settled with a disgruntled shake of his head. “My hair is curly. You’re not supposed to brush it at all.”

“You’re in the hands of The Hair Harrington, sweetheart. Just relax.”

His shoulders sagged right underneath the weight of sweetheart.

I’m so screwed - 

Of all people to show up in the doorway, Robin from Scoops showed up with an energy that insinuated more sobriety than the guy wielding scissors.

Her mouth hung open like she had come with something to say, but then she sputtered through laughter. “Oh shit. Are you consenting to this?”

Billy rolled his eyes. “If he cuts my ear, I’m beating his ass.”

“I’d appreciate more faith from you, Buckley. I cut your bangs for you.”

Billy chirped, “Really?” admittedly feeling a bit better.

Steve intercepted with the order, “Are you gonna play music or what? I’m so tired of Tina’s music.”

That’s how Billy wound up in a bathroom with college freshmen trimming his ends and styling his hair while Steve and Robin shout-sang to Whitney Houston.

It was great.

Steve curled the top of his hair so he had ringlets falling over his bold brows. Steve, who had his hands all over Billy’s head until he washed the hair down the drain and filled the tub for a bubble bath. Billy scrutinized himself with a handheld mirror until Steve wrapped his arms around him and they tumbled backward into the wet landing.

Tina was hardly pleased to find the three of them making a mess of the jacuzzi, but she sassed a quick thank you for warding off people trying to fuck in her parents’ bed. Billy didn’t have words; only laughter at Robin putting her hair into a wet mohawk and Steve piling bubbles onto his head.

Steve insisted they go back to his house afterward. “It’s November and we’re soaked. Your car will be fine. I can come back and park it in my driveway if you’re that worried.”

That wasn’t the problem.

“It’s fine that your parents are never home, but mine will only recently lifted my curfew for good behavior.”

Somehow, he convinced Steve and Robin to drive him back to his house, at the expense of letting them change at Steve’s first. Billy had his eyes on a beautiful Camaro and was just a few more months of allowance and part time jobs away from having her.

It was his first time in Steve’s house. He had to admit, he preferred Tina’s layout and decor, but he got to wander around. He saw Robin use one of the guest rooms. He saw Steve’s....incredibly boring room. And said as much.

“A prison cell has more personality.”

Steve laughed. “Yeah, you’re right. Are you ready to go?”

It wasn’t until Billy lay in his own bed that those words tumbled through his brain. His fingertips moved through his still-styled hair. It felt better with those dead ends gone. Steve did a good job. Steve liked Whitney Houston and Blondie and a little of everything, really. Steve cared about his appearance enough to be a self-taught stylist.

Steve didn’t have a lot of furniture in his room. Clutter on the dresser and desk, sure, but all of it monochrome or neutral colors. Steve who had an old BMW, house, and surely a bank account to match, but didn’t buy anything in excess. Like he wasn’t allowed to, or something. Billy indulged every scent he got on things he wanted, but Steve didn’t.

Steve had a nailed bat in his trunk. Billy heard it rolling around on their way back to his house, and finally bent over to look under the seats and saw it.

Steve was a walking contradiction. A contradiction who smelled good but didn’t say much when Billy and Robin talked about history. Who started giving Billy free ice cream but never asked about Billy’s stepsister. Who gave Billy rides and gave him the hookup to the high-paying neighbors of Loch Nora for mowed lawns and dogs walked.

Steve helped him get his car sooner than he would’ve otherwise but didn’t ask for anything in return.

Steve, who was always available for a good time, but looked sad when left with his thoughts.

Billy didn’t take well to not being the center of attention. He’d grown up with an interrogation lamp over his head, and sought positive interaction everywhere else. He got so much of it from Steve, that the occasions where Steve bumped against him...refused him, or ignored him, or reminded Billy that he was a rinky dink sophomore lit a match in his belly. And he’d swallowed gasoline for too much of his life.

“That’s something a virgin says.”

Billy couldn’t even remember what he’d just said. He was already, instantly, seeing the glow of embers on the fringe of his vision. “Excuse me?”

Steve shrugged as he got up from his couch. “It’s whatever. It’s fine. Just showing your hand, is all.”

Billy couldn’t believe it. Steve was either the biggest idiot in Hawkins - which he knew wasn’t true considering there was a real cesspool that smoked underneath the bleachers - or he was so far in denial that Billy had a whole new reason to be pissed.

An involuntary sound left Steve when Billy came up behind him and pushed him against the wall underneath the stairs.

“You don’t know anything about me.”

Billy wasn’t some cute sophomore. He stood toe to toe with Steve, barely an inch shorter. If this is what it took for Steve to realize that, fine.

To realize that Billy wasn’t some teenager scared shitless of a girls’ bra -

Steve regained his footing, and closed the distance between their mouths. It was small, soft, and brief. Rationality should have made Billy step away. Punch him, maybe. But Billy wasn’t rational. His shock held him statuesque, barely breathing while Steve moved a hand to cradle the side of his head and neck -

A sound left Billy this time, as Steve angled his mouth over Billy’s. Where he learned Billy was scared, so scared of Steve. His body dashed rationality against the wall and kissed him back tentatively, and then earnestly, just trying to keep up until Steve’s other hand framed him in. As Steve pushed against him until Billy walked backwards to have himself pressed against the wall.

He felt drunk as his hands let go of Steve’s shirt to hold onto the curvature of his ribs. He panted while Steve kissed his throat and washed Billy’s senses with his warm, sweet fragrance; his hair brushing Billy’s face and inspiring him to turn his face into Steve’s scalp. Inhale him into his lungs.

Billy didn’t know what game they were playing. But Steve outplayed him.

[riseofthespacecats]

RISE OF THE SPACE CATS

An Eddsworld Fan-Script: Part 8

OUTSIDE - DARK ALLEY

TOM drags his feet across the ground. He's wobbly, eyes flickering, hands on his head.

Two SUITED FIGURES appear. One pointing a GUN at him.

TOM bares his teeth - sharp.

TOM

Get away from me! I have a hangover and and, uh... A mean backhand.

FIGURE 1

Wait, he's not one of them.

FIGURE 2 lowers their gun.

FIGURE 2

Have you been bitten?

TOM

Recently? Why, you planning to have a go?

FIGURE 2 raises their gun again.

TOM

No! No I haven't been bitten!

FIGURE 1

Come with us.

The two FIGURES walk away. TOM watches them and groans, then follows.

They enter a DRAIN and climb down into the SEWERS. TOM raises an eyebrow, then climbs after them, gagging at the smell.

THE SEWERS

TOM squints through the darkness. A MATCH is lit, illuminating Several people, huddled in a makeshift hideout. Including-

TOM

The mayor? What are you doing here?

THE MAYOR

Can't a man hide- I mean, protect his valued constituents?

TOM

Uh-huh. So your plan is to stay down here, learn martial arts and eat pizza?

SURVIVOR (who is April O’Neil)

No! We're also here to skateboard.

She does a sick flip with a pizza slice in hand.

TOM

Oh, neat!

THE MAYOR

It's safe down here, any infected get thrown into the water, and the only other people here besides us are those guys.

He points to a bundle of sleeping CLONES covered in raw sewage.

TOM

Huh.

FIGURE 1

But we're also here to find a way...

FIGURE 1 and 2 both remove their HELMETS, revealing themselves to be KIM and KATYA.

FIGURE 1/KIM

To escape the zombie plague!

TOM

Wait, I thought you two would be dead.

KATYA

Why would we be dead?

TOM

Dead lesbian syndrome, I guess.

KIM

We're past being problematic representations of queer women. We're community activists, and we're going to rescue all these people.

The other survivors nod.

TOM

Yeah? How.

KIM

We...

She gestures to a WALL OF WEAPONS.

KIM

Have amassed an extensive armory to protect us.

TOM gasps. He's completely entranced. He reaches over to touch, laughing, lovestruck.

KATYA slaps his hand away.

KATYA

No.

TOM

But-

Katya shakes her head.

TOM

Why not?

KIM

We can't trust you. You don't exactly have a good reputation with weapons.

TOM

Sure I do! I get a weapon, and then I use it to hurt someone. That's what they're for.

KIM and KATYA look at each other, unimpressed.

TOM

Okay, maybe that sounded bad. But think of it this way, I know how to use a gun.

KATYA

So do I.

TOM

Okay, sure, but I also... Hm. I can. Uh. Hm. Well, you should give me a gun.

KIM

How about you help us with something else...

CUT TO

KIM, KATYA and TOM all poke their heads out of a MANHOLE. ZOMBIES lurch around them. On the other sie of the road is an abandoned BUS.

KIM

We need to get to that bus. Someone needs to go out there, to sacrifice themself as a noble hero, and grant us safe passage to escape.

KATYA

Someone who has no close friends, no living family, someone who maybe everyone kinda hates.

They both stare at TOM.

TOM

Ooooh ho ho ho, no. No way.

An adorable little girl approaches TOM from below in the sewer.

ADORABLE LITTLE GIRL

Please sir, won't you help us?

TOM frowns.

OUTSIDE - STREET

The ADORABLE LITTLE GIRL is thrown across the street, screaming. She lands among the ZOMBIES, who immediately pile onto her.

TOM grabs KIMS gun and shoots at the ZOMBIES. KIM and KATYA watch in horror.

TOM

There you go. Solved your problem. Now we can all get the hell out of here.

CUT TO

The BUS drives away, leaving TOM on the side of the road.

TOM

Hey! You can't leave me here! I saved your lives! Come back!

The BUS turns around...

And splashes a puddle on him as it drives away. TOM is drenched.

TOM

Screw you guys! I hope the wheels on your bus go round and round into a ditch!

He looks down. His trainers are stained brown.

TOM

Ugh, not the checker-print!

TOM'S eyes turn purple. He grips his head and hunches over. His body is changing - becoming inhuman!

TOM

What is- wrong with me?

BOOM!

TOM turns, just in time to see a CAR flying towards him, flung by the force of the explosion. It's shadow covers him-

The CAR crashes directly onto him, windows shattering, alarm beeping.

Beat.

The MONSTER bursts through, howling in anger. It sets its sight on the explosion and leaps across the city.

[khaleesiofalicante]

The Shadowhunters Chronicles time travel head cannons because I have ideas but no ideas.

ALSO PLEASE DONT STEAL THESE, BUT I WOULD LOVE ADD ONS

THL Meeting TMI

Charles coming to the future and being really conflicted on whether or not he should check old records to see if he’s council bc on one hand he’s Charles and he has a very big ego but on the other hand he also has a really big inferiority complex.

Matthew realizing that gender roles are very bent now and wearing skirts and make up and nail polish also having several piercings. Because she/they rights.

Also Matthew going to a bookstore in June and seeing the whole pride layout and just how many books there are about being LGBTQ and how explicit they are ans the wide demographics and generas and everything and just being by the way. 

Christopher realizing that there are way more elements in the periodic table now and just about micro organisms and flipping the fuck out. Like DNA was not discovered until 1980 this man would be having a field day.

We know that Alastair would watch so many Disney movies, just every musical he can get his hands on his watching. 

Also Alastair realizing that the Eiffel tower is now like one of the main things associated with Paris and everyone thinking it’s the coolest thing in the world. 

I propose the idea that Anna Lightwood would be actually be bad at hooking up with modern day women, because this one super hot lesbian would like ask for her Snapchat or something and she would have no clue what that is. 

Also Anna realizing that there are more modern day terms for gender and being able to finally identify as gender queer and maybe experimenting with pronouns. 

I don’t know why but I would love to see Cordelia in modern fashion. Or really any of them just, any of these kids going to a mall would be amazing. 

Lucie creating an AO3 account and immediately posting every single chapter of the beautiful Cordelia on there. Also her reading rpf fanfics.  

Will would later join her and make a Twitter account as well.

Kamala watching Bollywood movies. Also I feel like she get a really cool lesbian experience that she never really got and also I think she would love to know that gay marriage legalized and that there are opportunities for her to have children that don’t involve sex with a man. 

I would like to see what Matthews opinion on abortion would be because of his backstory. I feel like there’s no correct answer to this but I would like to see some ideas.

But also I would love to see Matthew meeting like future!Magnus and either thinking that he’s still the coolest person in the world or have his vision of him be crushed. Because Magnus is a father of two teenage sons, he hasn’t been an aloof party animal for a long time, he’s a full on Dad.

I think Matthew would also try to live with Magnus for a while only for it to backfire the second he comes home drunk. 

I feel like Charles and Matthew would both get arrested, Matthew would obviously try to go to a bar or get drunk or something, English law and American law are very different even today so a lot of the things Matthew enjoys doing he would be banned from but he wouldn’t realize that until it’s too late. Charles on the other hand would probably say something intolerant, because he’s Charles and it’s the 21st-century now, and piss off the wrong person and end up getting thrown out of jail cell. The real tragedy would be for the poor inmates and policeman who have to listen to these two fight until Clary can come and pick them up. 

Also Matthew getting help for the bullshit he’s been through and everyone just being openly gay please I need it.



TWP Meets TLH

Max and Rafe going to the past and being absolutely terrified of what’s going on and meeting Magnus from the past and trying not to have a breakdown because they’re dad doesn’t know who they are and they can’t go to him 

Mina going with Max and Rafael to the past and playing at the Hell Rule because you know she would.

Also Will knowing that she is Jem and Tessa’s daughter because she’s so beautiful just like his Tess and he knows that the only other person Tessa would love enough to have a child with would be their Jem. 

Everyone knowing that Charles is gay and in the closet because they can read this bitch very well.

And Max and Ralph trying to like keep the whole “hey there are new rules now and downworlders and Shadowhunters can share powers thing” on the down low and failing during a big fight and it being reviled with like Max using the seriph blade or some thing and then Rafe just straight up using magic and everyone’s like “Wwwhhaaaaaattt”

They were getting like serious trouble for this in Lake Charlotte with interrogate the hell out of them because wtf was that.

Magness from their present coming back to pick up the kids and seeing Will and everyone again. And Will asking how Magnus is only to realize this man has a family!!

Or even better Alec Lightwood Bane coming back to the past, through a portal, to come get his kids real quick and him seeing Past!Magnus and then flirting with him and Magnus being interested while the kids are like,”Really, this again”.

Kit going into the past and them being confusion because there are two Christophers, also how are you a Herondale?! 

Ty stealing cats. 

I would love to see how Rafe, Tavvy, Max, and Mina react to Church being alive.

Tavvy, who I have somehow not yet mentioned, getting like separation anxiety from his siblings and Ralph just hanging out with him a lot more and cheering him up and just being a good Parabatai .

Also Tavvy spoiling the entire Blackthorne line whoops. 

Also I feel like Max, Rafael, and Tavvy would very much not going to drive to the toxic masculinity of the time, and be super affectionate and nice to each other and respectful of women and it would be quite shocking for people.

Rafe would go to a ball or party and totally teach people either the Cupid shuffle or a bunch of other modern dances.

I feel like someone would make a comment about Max being half demon and a warlock, especially after they realize he can have runes. Not sure what the comment would be, but it might involve Benedick having a thing for demons and it would make everyone super uncomfortable. 

Also just the Lightwood-Banes, and Tavvy, seeing Magnus with another person and being so upset over this.  Bc their dads in love with someone else and that shit hurts.

Arguments over who’s related who and which line everyone comes from because I don’t think the modern gang would know exactly who they’re related to so the relate would be pretty open.

Everyone staying at the institute because no one would take all three of them and then Mina just tagging alone because she wants to.

I feel like Max or Rafe or maybe even Tavvy would screw up and accidentally call Will Dad or Alec and this would cause a lot of panic.

Once again a shopping montage because you never have enough clothes.

The Merry thieves and the modern squad hanging out and just having fun together would be cool. They could all go to each other’s houses or the devils tavern and drink. -Which would probably be Max and Rafe’s first time drinking bc American laws are weird and different and Rafe wouldn’t break the rules.

Or Alternatively him getting in a drinking contest with someone, Matthew, and not knowing that he’s an alcoholic until way later. He would then demand that this boy go to therapy.

OMG THESE ARE ALL SO GOOD WTF FJKHFKADSFKA. AARON THESE ARE PERFECT AND SO WELL THOUGHT OUT I LOVE IT OMG.

[stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland]

There is a light at the end of the tunnel

Hello, Stuck. Sorry, I don’t know your real name.

I wrote this long ass post to bring some light into the fandom and between the CSs, and I hope you can post it? I’m new in the Tumblr world, but not in the 5H fandom. I don’t quite know how it works yet and, for the moment, I only know your blog and those of @emisonme, @karlaswine, @sun-to-my-luna, @underthatimpression, and @mentesimploria because, in one way or another, you’re all connected to each other. I just wanted to tell you guys how much I appreciate every single one of you, the passion you have, and the hope you keep alive among those who, like me, love the girls. Also, the patience you guys have, especially against the haters, is admirable. I love the fact that you keep going. Because this is your sacred place, as it should be.

This is the very first time I’ve ever done anything like this. I’m what can be defined as a ‘silent fan’. I never commented on anything in the girls’ posts, not even on the fan accounts I follow. I don’t have Twitter. I have Facebook but it’s like I don’t have it because I don’t use it. I have Wattpad (obviously). I recently registered here on Tumblr, and I have Instagram. That’s what I use. It’s the only app along with YouTube that I use daily to keep up with the rest of the world. Especially the American part of the world. I’m Italian, but I speak American English well, and I apologize in advance if my lazy ass hasn’t noticed possible grammatical errors. I saw that a lot of you are into this stuff, so I thought I’d add it just because. I’m a Capricorn Sun, Cancer Moon, and Virgo rising.

I’m gonna turn 29 on December 22, and this is a BIG fuck off to all the people who have attacked you lately for your age. This is personal information that I give freely to make ignorant and small-minded people understand that, in this context especially, age is irrelevant. As you, little fucker who hides behind a computer to attack people just to feel stronger, have a life, we have it too. Like you, we have a life, a job, friends, etc. We also have passions. Passions that yes, my dear haters, also include shipping people. I don’t know why in your stupid brain we’re too old to ship people we love and to give opinions about it. I didn’t know it was something reserved only for those who still smell like mommy’s milk. But anyway…

I became aware of 5H existence just before summer 2015 thanks to ‘Worth It’. Being Italian, however, I had no idea who they were, and to be honest, I didn’t go searching for them. Randomly one day then, I ran into Camren on YouTube. I can’t remember which video I was watching, but I know for sure it was about ‘Heya/Brittana’ (Heather Morris and Naya Rivera/Brittany and Santana, my very first hard LGBT ship). And among the suggested videos, there they are. As ridiculous as it sounds, and although I liked them as soon as I saw them, I didn’t go searching for them. I did it when ‘Work from Home’ came out though. From there, I connected that they were the same ‘Worth It’ group and the same two girls I liked from those YouTube videos. I had officially become a fan. I was screwed. Screwed because, I’d officially entered one of the most messed up and yet most beautiful fandoms ever.

As I initially said, this is the very first time I’ve ever done anything like this. But after the recent events, seeing how many people gave up, it made me a little angry and gave me the strength to speak for the first time. I thought the first time would’ve been through the fanfiction I’ve been working on for over two years, but no. Lauren and her beautiful mouth had to terrorize, disappoint, panic, and make angry 80% of CS, thus fueling the hatred of all the other fandom towards us. So I decided to speak now. Maybe, just maybe, this very long ass post of mine is gonna help struggling CS. Maybe, just maybe, it’s gonna make them reason and bring them to their senses.

So. This, as I think you’ve understood, is about Lauren and what she said in the podcast. This is a reminder of the Laucy situation. These are things we already know and that I want to remind you of because apparently, my lovely fellows CS, either you have a short-term memory, or Lauren has the power to create amnesia in people’s minds and I knew nothing about it. Surely this power of hers didn’t work on me and a few others.

Oh and, before starting: 1) You may disagree with me. It’s normal to have different opinions. 2) You can search for information such as dates, easily on the internet. 3) I’m gonna use nicknames on PRs for fun. That doesn’t mean I hate them. I have my reasons for dislike each one of them as people, but I can assure you it has nothing to do with the fact that they were or are the Camren beards. An example to make you understand what I mean is Ty. I’m a huge Ari fan and I’ve been listening to ‘safety net’ non-stop for two days straight. I really dislike Ty as a person, but I separate the art from the artist.

Okay, that said, I can start.

Lauren said: “I knew I was queer because I fell in love with my best friend when I was like 15.” – “Her and I started to have a physical connection when I was 15.”

Lauren and Lucid Vivisectionist met when L moved to Carrollton in 7th grade. Lucille moved back to Puerto Rico in February 2012, returning to visit Miami occasionally (this explains the fetus pictures with Lucy and Camren at L’s house). In February 2012, Lauren was 15, Camila 14, and Lucy 16. And who did Lauren meet when she was 15? Oh yeah, Camila. C and L did the first phase of the audition, the ‘cattle call’, on May 1, 2012 in Greensboro, North Carolina. Audition where Camila took courage to speak at the (“Oh my God that girl is) literally so beautiful” girl from which she felt intimidated by starting that adorable brief conversation “Hi, I like your shirt”, “Thanks. I like your jacket” just before it was her turn to get in for her audition. In May 2012, Lauren and Camila were both 15 years old. Lauren and Camila saw each other again for the first time on July 25th, two months later, in Miami on the first day of boot camp, and it was Lauren herself who went to Camila: “You’re the Cuban girl!”. In July 2012, Lauren was 16 and Camila was 15.

Lauren said: “She came back into my life when I was 18. I was on tour and I was in my room in a hotel somewhere, and she called me.” Let me explain to you why I think this is true.

Lauren and Luxy reconnected with each other after Lucy’s car accident that took place on May 15, 2015. Lauren was really 18 in May 2015, and we can rule out The Reflection Tour dates because it started on February 27, 2015, and ended April 6, 2015. We can also rule out these other show dates that 5H did: April 11 in Jackson Township, New Jersey - April 13 at Live! with Kelly and Michael in New York - April 19 Lauren was at Coachella with Keana, Britt, and other friends - April 22 at the Worldwide Radio Summit in Hollywood - April 25 at Radio Disney Music Awards 2015 in Los Angeles - May 8 at Channel 93.3 Summer Kickoff 2015 in Chula Vista, San Diego - May 9 at Wango Tango 2015 in Carson, Los Angeles (May 9, rumors about Camila and Louis Tomlinson just because paparazzi believed they were together when Louis was actually together with Liam outside the Project Club L.A., and C who was at the club next door) - May 15 at KDWB Radio Show in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

The rest of their program and possible date: May 16 at Kiss Concert 2015 in Mansfield, Massachusetts - May 19 at Dancing with the Stars in Los Angeles - May 30 at G-A-Y in London (rumors about Lauren and Louis Tomlinson this time, born because 5H went to Libertine nightclub with Louis and Niall) - May 31 at Britain’s Got More Talent in London - June 2 at Capital FM in Birmingham, England - June 5 at Good Morning Britain in London - June 6 at Capital FM Summertime Ball 2015 in London - June 12 at Aloha Stadium in Honolulu, Hawaii - June 14 at LA Pride 2015 - June 18 at Jimmy Kimmel Live in Los Angeles - June 20 at B96 Pepsi Summer Bash 2015 in Bridgeview, Illinois - June 23 at San Diego County Fair 2015 - 28 June at Show Of The Summer 2015 in Hershey, Pennsylvania - July 10 at Rockefeller Plaza in New York. July 15, 2015, beginning of Reflection: The Summer Tour.

June 27, 2015 Lauren turned 19, and do you guys remember the events of those days? Because I do.

On June 24, 2015, Lauren celebrated her birthday in advance at the famous sushi restaurant ‘Katsuya’. Among the guests were the girls, her mom Clara, some friends, including Jill (the same Jill/Jillian Gutowitz who worked with Zack Sang and who 5H met on April 22, 2015, at the Worldwide Radio Summit, which lasted for three days but they were present for two: 22 and 23. The same Jill who wrote the article for AfterEllen on January 25, 2016, about her experiences with women who denied their sexuality. Remember the story of Lauren Jordan, right?), and Noah Benardout (may he rest in peace). Still no Lucia, not even on the days when Lauren returned to Miami to celebrate with her family before resuming the program from the 28. As I already said, The Reflection Summer Tour began on July 15, 2015, and Lucy’s first public reappearance took place on one of the tour dates, that is, July 27 at Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

From that moment on, we saw Lucille appear on multiple occasions in hops through time. After the July 27th date, we saw her during the trip to Hawaii with Lauren and Keana in September, followed by the concert that the girls had on October 10 in the Bahamas, where they stayed with their families and friends for a few days. After the Bahamas, the mess happened between 5H because they found out about Camila’s departure from the group which initially should’ve been immediate, but for which they fought and gained another year. That, was also the time when Laucy signed their PR contract. As we know from Lauren herself, that was the worst and darkest time for her. That was the beginning of her numbness.

On October 23, they were on their way to Italy and Lauren wrote on her dark diary, the one shown to us in Episode 8 of her Attunements. On October 24, they arrived in Milan for the MTV Europe Music Awards 2015 occurred on October 25, and on October 28, in Madrid instead, there was the interview with Alyson Eckmann, the journalist Camila flirted with while Lauren was sitting right next to her.

Going forward, in November we have:

- Rumors about Lauren and Julius Dein (his friend who is a YouTube magician).

-The release of IKWYDLS including the rumors about Camila and Shawn and Michael Clifford (who was already in the picture) who were ‘vying for her’.

- Beginning of Lauren’s coming out plan which included: 1) The release of The Vamps’ album on November 23rd, that is, a week after the release of IKWYDLS, and which included the track ‘I Found A Girl’. Joe O'Neill, the manager of The Vamps, liked that famous tweet. Despite the efforts to make us believe that Bleahren (sorry for the Italian pun I made here, but ‘bleah’ in Italian is equivalent to the ‘eww’ to indicate something gross, and therefore Bleah-Ren) Brauren was real and that the girl involved was Lucille and not Camila, they’ve miscalculated since Lauren and Brad ‘dated’ in 2014 when Lucy had not yet returned into Lauren’s life. But since the album and consequently the song came out on November 23, 2015, they tried to manipulate people’s minds as usual. 2) Jill’s article that served to connect and more or less ‘confirm’ the story between this Jordan and her childhood friend, Lauren-Lucy.

- December: completion of the 7/27 album + Dina LaPolt’s entry + renegotiation of the contracts (mostly DNA’s contracts) + FIFTH HARMONY MUSIC, INC. created by LAND on December 21 to prepare for the transfer of the 5H trademark, the FIFTH HARMONY PARTNERSHIP, of which they became owners from April 27, 2016 + change of management from Faculty Management: Jared Paul and Janelle Lopez, to Maverick Management: Larry Rudolph, Dan Dymtrow, and Tara Beikae. [All things that were possible ONLY THANKS to the exit of C from the group]

- January 2016, we have Lauren and Lucrezia who came back from Colombia to then taking a road trip for Lucy’s birthday week.

- Jill’s article came out and coincidentally, by pure chance, exactly two days later, on January 27, 2016, Camila and Dinah were hacked.

- On March 9, 2016, Lauren, Normani, Andrea, Dinah, and Keana went to pierce their ears, or rather, Laurmainah pierced their ears, mama Dre and Keana just accompanied them. During her turn, Lauren asked Keana to take her phone to make a video. In the meantime, Mani was filming Lauren, and again by pure chance, Keana, who was in the heart of the frame, took Lauren’s phone as she’d asked, and both the lock screen and the home screen portrayed a picture of Lucania during a photoshoot. Same picture Lucy herself posted on Instagram on April 10th to leave no doubt.

- April 24, 2016, Coachella together.

- Luciana went with 5H in London, in May, during the promotion of the 7/27 album. (+ Camren video of May 28, 2016)

- She was present during the start of the tour in South America on June 26th (in the evening during the concert, L danced Big Bad Wolf for her, but that’s not the famous video, that was on September 5) and 27th to celebrate L’s birthday together (picture of the 27th of them in Buenos Aires).

- June 27, 2016, on L’s birthday, Jill posted a picture with L from the birthday dinner of the year before, further confirming the story of ‘Jordan’.

- August 1, the national girlfriend day, L posted a picture of her and Lucy.

- From August 12 to 21, Lucy was with them. The night after the concert on the 13th in Rochester Hills, Michigan, videos in which Lucilla appeared during Lauren Fuller’s birthday celebration at the hotel for dinner. On the 14th in Noblesville, Indiana, during Gonna Get Better and Big Bad Wolf Lauren smiled in Lucy’s direction who was in the audience. On the 18th in Virginia Beach, Virginia, a fan met Laucy in a movie theater restroom, taking a selfie with Lauren (C posted a picture of her in the dark with the words of Bad Things “don’t think that I can explain it” the same night).

- On September 4 and 5 Lucippe returned. On the 5th in Houston, Texas, the famous ‘super HD’ video took place in which Lauren danced Big Bad Wolf for Lucy, even pointing to her during her verse. [On September 6, Midland, Texas, during the Q&A, Lauren wore the same dress that Lucy was wearing to the concert the night before, and at the same time, she sat next to C and got jealous when C complimented a fan by sending her flying kisses. Ahh… The irony]

Now. Let’s move on to the part of the podcast where Lauren explains about the kiss with Lucza at her uncle and aunt’s wedding, how her aunt “super innocently” posted the pictures on Facebook that her “unreal invasive fans” found and posted, how Perez Hilton outed her to the world by posting an article with those pictures, how she did nothing for a week, and that after thinking “Ok, it happened. People know. What am I gonna do?”, she wrote that letter against Trump as her own way of coming out.

On November 4, 2016, Lauren and Lucynda did the ‘famous’ photoshoot in New Orleans called ‘Bare With Me’. Lauren flew to NOLA right after Halloween, got back to Miami to vote, then returned to New Orleans on the 10th along with her family for the wedding. Lucianna was also with her on the 10th for the rehearsal/bowling with all of Lauren’s relatives. Meanwhile Orange Trumpeter was elected on the 8th, and many celebrities were preparing to write a letter through Billboard against him and his supporters. Labels and management saw it as a perfect opportunity to get her to come out also considering how much Lauren has always been vocal on the subject, and THEY contacted Billboard to get her to participate in exchange of the exclusive of her coming out. All that was missing was the evidence to make sure that there had been no connection with Camila, and that was the reason for the kiss at the wedding on the 11th.

On November 13, the wedding photographer posted those pictures on his website, including the one of the kiss. And I’m sorry, Lolo, I love you but, really? Who are you kidding? The pictures didn’t start spreading because her ‘unreal invasive fans’ found them on her aunt’s Facebook page where she’d posted them ‘super innocently’. The pictures started spreading after the photographer posted them! And you know what’s even more funny? That to see those pictures on the website, you needed an access password. So what are you saying here, Lo? That your ‘unreal invasive fans’ were so good, to even have hacked their way into the website for pictures they didn’t even know existed? It wasn’t your team, was it? Oh, okay. My bad.

Sarcasm aside. The pictures started to spread, Perez tweeted about it on the 14th, and in the meantime Lauren had time to write the letter that was approved by the labels and sent to Billboard (on the 14th), who approved it a couple of days after it was sent (on the 16th), and which they then published it in the article two days later (on the 18th). In all of this, on November 15, 2016, the girls all went to Epic’s party. Since we know very well that most of the cases of coming out as bisexual in the industry made by a female celebrity occur in succession with the connection with a guy, that night there was the PR proposal between Typo Dolour Signal and Lauren that he obviously accepted, and in fact, he was there that night at that party too (Picture of C with a tear mark on her cheek).

Now, the icing on the cake of the Laucy’s PR: Nicole Cartolano. Nicole is a friend of Lecy’s with whom she had already worked together and who also posted pictures of Lauren on November 17 and 22, 2016, one on December 31, 2016, together with Marian Hill taken backstage after Lauren’s performance with them on the 30th, the night before, for the Snow Globe Festival in South Lake Tahoe, California, and the one of Laucy (with the piñata) on January 10, taken the same night to celebrate Lucilia’s birthday at midnight and that Lauren also used to post it for wish her a happy birthday. That was the last public interaction between the two. *Slow entry of Tympans Dollhouse Signalized in the picture from January 4, 2017, thanks to that tweet*.

On January 21, 2017, Lauren and Lucy were at the same Women’s March, but separately (single), and we haven’t seen them together anymore. LuBYE. On March 22, 2017, both ‘Bare With Me’ and the interview article Nicole did with MTV News (she confirmed that Laucy had been together by having an on-again, off-again for years and also said a lot of other bullshit like the fact that the girls were nervous because they didn’t know how their parents would’ve responded) came out. On August 13, 2018, Nicole officially apologized to Lucy for being angry with her for posting the pictures and therefore for having outed her and for having taken part in the MTV interview without their permission. There was also the screenplay made by Nicole’s mom to make everything even more true.

Bullshit on bullshit on bullshit. Number 1, Lauren herself confirmed in this podcast that her parents knew about her, and said how much she loved Lucre’s ‘I’m out and proud’ part.

Number 2, Nicole posted a preview of the pictures on March 18, 2017, so if she really wanted to stop her before the publication on the 22nd, she would’ve had time to do so.

Number 3, Lucita came out publicly on her own with that Spanish post on Instagram on November 20, 2016, saying in summary that she was anything but straight because she didn’t want to label herself (she did it years later by saying she was a lesbian).

Number 4, as Lusia also confirmed in that post where Nicole’s mom left that comment, Nicole signed a non-disclosure agreement form. If she had actually violated it without having had a release and written consent form, she would’ve been sued.

Number 5, if Luciferase really wanted to have that conversation in private with Nicole’s mom, she might very well have done so. She could’ve contacted her and answered her IN PRIVATE for real, and not via IG where EVERYONE saw and took the side of poor, poor Luckless.

Number 6, the biggest proof that shows the hypocrisy of all this, Lucasta continued to work with Nicole. Their last work dates back to November 25, 2019.

Okaay, sure… sure, because it was normal for her to continue working with the person who outed her, wasn’t it? People’s lies never cease to amaze me. For that matter, Nicole also posted a picture of their ‘adventure’ as they made their way to the photoshoot location on November 1, 2017, and continued to wish them both a happy birthday with posts every year.

And lastly, on June 6, 2020, we have the Lucerne’s video leaked (+ old pictures and videos of 5H) where she burned pictures of Lauren and of the two of them together in 2017, accompanied by the tweets occurred two days later, in which she explained that she was hacked and that she burned the pictures for a closure. Then, exactly 20 days later, that is on June 26, 2020, the PAPER Magazine article of Lauren’s interview came out. What a coincidence! In that article, Lauren explained, along with other things, that she’d been in love with her best friend for 7 years.

Lauren, honey, the maths, the maths… If according to your words you fell in love with her at 15, got together with her at 18, and broken up at 20, how can these be 7 years? It’s 5 years… And as if it wasn’t enough, still according to your words, after 1 year and 8 months (from mid-May 2015 to mid-January 2017), 2 months of which public because of the wedding pictures, of the relationship you wanted at all costs, “all in” and “now we’re gonna be in this relationship”, you broke up with her because she was really toxic, and after less than a month, you started dating an even more toxic person without the proper time to heal?? How do you expect me to believe you? And I’m putting aside the fact that I know they’re both PR relationships. I’m speaking out of logic. How? How can I believe you? How does this make any sense?

Personally, yes, I believe Lauren and Lucy have a past. Lauren’s first kiss was when she was 13 (8th grade) with her boyfriend at the time, Dominic, but I think Lucy was her first kiss with a girl. And I think it happened when she was 15, but in 2011, so long before Lucy left. Lauren dated Paul Martinez from June 4, 2011, to the end of July (around 23/24). From after Paul, until her very first PR at X-Factor, Keaton Stromberg, she was single. I truly believe that before she met Camila, Lauren and Lucy did everything Lauren said. I really believe Lauren experimented with her in secret, but I don’t believe in anything else she said at all.

This is my opinion. And in my opinion, Lauren always knew she was queer, and Lucy was the first with whom she could experience the attraction and the feelings towards girls she had always felt and concealed deep inside herself. But they were friends. Just friends. Friends who messed around and experimented together in secret given the environment that surrounded them. Lucy then returned to live in Puerto Rico and they simply drifted apart because of the distance and Lauren’s busy schedule with 5H. When she came back into Lauren’s life, they rekindled their friendship. Just that. Also because, Camila, hello? Camila entered Lauren’s heart the same year Lucy left and never get out of it. Not to mention that Lucy had a girlfriend, Sarah Scott Narcise, before getting together with Nicole Marie Rendón in March 2017. I honestly think that Lucy was also giving advice to Lauren about her relationship with Camila, and I also think that now they really aren’t friends anymore for something we don’t know about, even though I have my theories… But anyway. Lauren needed a beard to be able to come out, Lucy needed visibility for her modeling career and, at the time, also for her music which, however, never saw the light of day. The labels approved because they would’ve done anything to keep their chosen one out of the gay light. Camila also approved. Boom, PR.

I don’t believe all the other bullshit she said during the podcast. Because if they’d been true, they would’ve made logical sense. A sense they’ve been trying, and failing, to give for years. If Lauren really didn’t want to come out, she wouldn’t have done a photoshoot with Lucy a week before the wedding with the intention of using that same photoshoot to come out. She would not have kissed Lucy in a public place during the wedding pictures in front of a professional photographer hired for the event, knowing full well that those pictures would eventually have been published by the bride and groom, her aunt and uncle, and the photographer himself. If she wanted so badly a picture of her kissing her girlfriend, drunk or not, she would’ve taken her fucking phone and take selfies. It wasn’t the fans’ or Perez’s fault. It was the management that was following the plan.

And I’m supposed to, what exactly? Forget all these things, things that have been proofed multiple times in the past, because Lauren, or Camila, or management, or labels, or their contracts, must continue with their stupid narrative? Because Camila must continue to look straight and continue to look in love with Shalt Menstruated because the señorito is about to release his documentary and his album? Because Camila’s movie is about to come out? Because Lauren’s own album is about to be released and because the subject matter of her female-pronounced songs must only and exclusively be related to Lucy? (Although I think her album will be out next year. I think a song with female pronunciation is coming out soon. And no, I’m sorry, I don’t think it’s Burning)

Guys, come on…

Think about it. She used Lucy as a shield to tell part of her story with Camila that happened in 2014. It all fits. Even the story told through songs from Camila’s cocky POV, including ‘Like Friends Do’, ‘Eyes on You’, ‘Cleopatra’, ‘Leave for Good’, and a couple from her last album like ‘Should’ve Said It’ and ‘Feel It Twice’.

I understand why many of you have been hurt by this podcast and by Lauren herself. I understand why a lot of you are angry about the things she said. I see you, I understand, I really do. And everyone is free to feel whatever they want, I’m not saying otherwise. But I really don’t understand why you’re hiding or why you’re abandoning the ship. Authors who don’t wanna write anymore. Accounts closed. Names changed. Hope lost. This, all this, makes me angry and hurt. Because you fell for it. And you know why you fell for it? Because Lauren changed her approach. Leaving aside the part just before when she said: “Even when I talk about it, and I don’t talk about it because I’ve learned to just ignore it because-” and there, I swear I had to pause because I burst out laughing, and I was like: “Bitch, you’re the one who pulled this out of your ass out of nowhere right this second, what are you saying?”. She went on by saying, and she knows us so well because of this: “I just chose to ignore it at a certain point because getting angry to them would it mean that it was real and validate it more for them”.

And it’s true. This non-angry approach of hers, worked like a charm. Lauren’s older, she’s more mature than before. Although she was very nervous, she managed to explain everything calmly. The fact that she was emotional and almost cried in many parts, it really gave an extra boost to what she tried to sell. And I’m not saying she faked almost crying. Hell, no. That was super true and hard for her. I’m saying though, that it’s really easy to manipulate people’s minds, and Lauren used her real pain, the real suffering she has gone through over the years to tell this charade. That’s why it seemed so real. And I’m supposed to fall for that shit just because that’s what they’ve wanted for years, right? Convenient much?

Guys, please. You’re smarter than that, use those beautiful brains. For example, the fact that Lauren said: “I was queer, but she was not”, wrong as you want it to be, and “Camila and I were just really good friends at that time”, yeah, sure, Jan. Doesn’t the very fact that she used the past tense make you realize that it was done to completely detach herself from her IN THE PRESENT? Everything she said was for something. Everything had a purpose. And the goal is always the same. Make us stop shipping ‘em. Putting a label on C only served the Shoestoremila purpose, nothing else. And those were words that came out of the mouth of the one who says she doesn’t like labeling people. The same one who was pissed that someone had outed her before she wanted to. Do you really think she’s that hypocritical?

The fact that she put all the CS in the same box, especially when she talked about the Daddy situation, WAS DONE ON PURPOSE. She couldn’t fail to generalize because their purpose is, and will be for a long time to come, to kill Camren. That means the whole fandom. Not just invasive elements. But really all the CS. The purpose was to make us feel guilty. The purpose is to make us accept that it was never real, and since we care about them, to make us continue to support them individually and not as a couple, even though she knows that the real CS do it regardless. This, is called manipulation, guys.

Think about everything else too. The inconsistency. The holes in her story. The lack of explanations. And the fact that during the story of how it all happened, she jumped from one theme to another and therefore managed to deflect and not completely finish one before moving on to the other, doesn’t it make you understand that she didn’t want to give too many details? And when does that usually happen? She knew we’d analyze her. She knew she couldn’t say too much. When she talked about Lucy, she knew that WE know she was talking about Camila, and with too many details, it would also have been obvious to the others because WE would’ve pointed it out to everyone. I mean, it’s obvious enough in itself, imagine if she’d fed us more information that we would’ve compared in the timeline.

Please, guys. I know that it feels like something’s changed, but it’s not. It’s really not. I’m appealing to all of you. Open your eyes. Reason. I know many of you still have conflicting emotions and feelings, and that’s okay. If you’re still upset, if you still wanna cry, then cry. Do whatever helps you feel better because, especially after the haters have come to bite your asses, you’re entitled to feel the way you do. But please, please, don’t give up. If you give up, you just play their game. You just do them a favor. You guys had invested so much of your time, so much of your passion, so much of yourselves to just, give up. Think of all we’ve been through, especially those who’ve been in the fandom for years. Think about how happy Camren makes you. They were there for you when you needed them. When you were going through hard times. I know they’ve helped a lotta people.

And think about this too. Lauren herself said at the beginning of the podcast: “The news and the media are constantly spinning narratives for your clicks so they can make money”. And what do you think this podcast was for? It’s always the same shit. Have you not noticed how the very same news and media have ALL talked about them? Didn’t you notice how My Oh My magically returned into the charts? How 50ft surpassed the 9 million streams on Spotify? And you still have doubts?

This is instead for the CS who get often angry about their actions. I personally think it’s pointless to blame Lauren and Camila for every single thing they do that has been PLANNED for them. Especially Camila as far as Shonas is concerned. There’s a pattern here too. Lauren had her light PR with Lucia. Lauren then had her heavy PR with Typic Dole Sight while Camila had a light one with Eatchu. And now Camila’s having a heavy one. C’s one is heavier simply because they’re much more famous than PRen (Tyren) were. So, guys, be patient. There’s really no point in getting angry and blaming them. It’s a waste of energy. It’s useless to blame them if they’re gonna continue to do so over the years to come. They’re just still trying to get past their original contracts and survive in the industry at the same time. Sooner or later, I HOPE, they will be free to tell the truth or the truth will come out on its own.

Well, I’m done. Jeez, that was long, wasn’t it? But I hope it was worth it. I hope I’ve cleared your heads a little bit and instilled some hope again. I also hope I made you smile with all those nicknames and my sarcasm. I especially hope that wherever you are, you’re having a good day, and if not, then I hope it has improved at least a little bit with this post. And thank you so much, Stuck. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to use my voice for the first time publicly/virtually. You, above all, keep on being one of the lights and NEVER let them turn you off. I love you guys. Stay safe. Stay strong. Stay patient. With love, F.

I leave you with these two pearls:

Number 1. Lauren said something else too. She said: “Don’t trust me. Go research. Go look this shit up yourself”. I know she said it for a completely different context, but I found it really funny given the situation.

Number 2. This is a small scene that automatically created itself in my head as soon as I finished listening to Wonder. I titled it: The sad and short story of the making of ‘Wonder’.

Enjoy:

*on the phone*

Shawl Mendicant: “Hey, buddy. I know you were a huge Fifth Harmony fan and I know you love my fake girlfriend, so I was thinking… could you help me? You know, I need her to stay relevant, but to do that, I also need to release music and completely take all the credit from other people because, you know, the most I do is change a sentence or two in my style to make people think that I wrote all my songs.”

Sam Smith: “………okay?”

Shawnita Menorrhagia: “So, I was wondering, can I copy your homework? You can totally refuse if you want to, but I’m hoping to appeal to the love you have for 5H and Camila, and maybe help a friend out?”

Sam Smith: “Yeah, sure, you can copy my homework. Anything for my girls. Just, change it up a bit so it doesn’t sound too obvious you just copied it.”

Shonas Mended: “Don’t worry. I’ve got this. Thanks, man.” - *ends the call*

Sam Smith looking at the phone with an incredulous expression and one hand over his heart: “I came out as a non-binary, you insensitive asshole!”

Shoes Mentionable from the other room: “Cameeela! He said yes!” *reaching then Camila and Lauren in the living room where Lauren is lying with her head resting on Camila’s legs who’s running her fingers through her hair with one hand and holding the book that she’s reading with the other one* “You were right, all I had to do was mention you girls.”

Lauren chuckling and continuing to pet Cleo who’s lying at the foot of the couch with one hand: “Told you”, to then adding: “And please, I know you’re excited because of the news but keep your voice down”, continuing to caress Sofi’s head who’s sleeping on top of her with the other one.

Shapeless Mentality: “Oh, sorry.”

Camila without looking away from her book: “Sam’s really nice. I’m sure they would’ve said yes even without the need of mentioning us.”

Lauren: “Hmm, I’m not so sure about that, babe. Yes, they’re very nice, but we’re powerful in their minds, so it was an added incentive for them to say yes.”

Shaved Mentholated: “Who are they? Weren’t we talking about Sam?”

Camila who was giggling at her girlfriend’s words:

Lauren:

Sinu from the kitchen:

Cleo who was nibbling her toy:

Even Thunder, Leo, and Eugene from outside into the yard:

*the end*

Chon Mendable: ‘Wonder’ - Sam Smith: ‘One Last Song’

____

OMG I am speechless. I’m really still digesting this whole story because it’s amazing but I wanted to start by saying hello to you and telling you my name, my name is Marite. It is a pleasure to meet you dear friend. I don’t want to write too much because your words are much more important than mine but I wanted to thank you for trusting me and my blog to tell me your story. That side of the story that, being new and not having been a harmonizer from the beginning, I never learned. I intended to ask for more information about Laucy’s Timeline but what you have told is a gem. A gem that shows that the bastards of the industry cannot fool the fans because we pay attention to everything and it is not easy for us to fall for their shit. I think the power we fans have is so great that if we all came together, we could bring down this whole fucking fake empire that they have created. That said, Laucy’s story is surprising. As planned and how each person involved had to do their part on the chessboard. Incredible. Now that you tell me that story, I think it fits the one I wrote in my once upon a time post. Sure, yours is true and has everything that mine doesn’t. I have tried to keep this blog open for all who wish to come and air their ideas, their thoughts, their tea. And you dear friend, you have been one of the best so far. You’ve given us that support that the fandom so badly needed and I really appreciate it. I also appreciate your humor, the nicknames have been so hilarious and I’m still laughing. Thank you for daring to tell this part of the story and reopen the can of worms of a PR that right now resurfaces with that Lauren interview. With a purpose, it’s true. And something tells me that we will see much more very soon. Thank you for your support, my friend. And you know, you have my blog at your disposal for whatever you need. And if you need to talk or anything else. I greatly appreciate that we can continue to keep this ship afloat among ourselves. Among a group of intelligent people who have been hurt by someone we have always loved very much even though we know the reason for all that. We can’t give up now because if we do it like you say they will win and I personally don’t plan to indulge them in that. Thank you very much for all dear friend and I hope you have a nice day. I send you a hug and I hope you stay safe.

[freddiekluger]

Why Cap Being Internally Closeted Is Not Only Possible, But Valid Representation 

i wrote this to a lot of mitski and onsind, so you can’t blame me for any feelings that bleed through

now i don’t know if it actually exists, but i’ve heard of there being a lot of discourse surrounding the captains story arc regarding his sexuality- i believe the general gist is that having a queer character that remains closeted to themselves is either unrealistic or ‘bad’ representation, and as someone who really treasures the captain and relates to his story so far a lot, i thought i might break this down a bit. 

i’ve divded up every complaint i’ve heard about this into four main questions which i’ll be covering below the ‘keep reading’, because this is gonna be pretty comprehensive. full disclaimer i reference my experiences as an ex-evangelical non binary butch lesbian a couple times, and i spent a year studying repression and the psychological impacts of high demand sexual ethics for my graduating sociology paper, so this is coming with some background to it i swear

the big questions:

can you EVEN be gay and not know it????

but isn't this just ANOTHER coming out arc, and aren't we supposed to be moving beyond those?

but if cap can't have a relationship with a man because he's a ghost, what's the point?

since cap's dead, isn't this technically bury your gays, and isn't that bad? 

1. "but is it really possible to not know? Isn't that bad representation?"

short answer: no and no.

before i get into the validity of the captain's ignorance about his own orientation as 21st century rep, let's break down how the hell the captain can be so clearly attracted to men and still not even consider the possibility that he might be gay, as brought to you by someone who literally experienced this shit.

the captain's particular situation is both a direct result of the lack of information around human sexuality he would have had (aka clear messaging that it's actually possible for him to be attracted to men. i don't mean acceptable or allowed, i mean physically capable of happening- the idea that orientations other than heterosexual exist and are available to him, a man), and a subconscious survival mechanism. the environment in which he lives is outright hostile to gay people, while the military man identity he has constructed for himself doesn't allow for any form of deviation from societal norms, let alone one so base level and major. as a result of this killer combo of information and environment, instincts take over and the mind does it's best to repress the ‘deviant’ feelings until a. one of these two things changes, or b. the act of repression becomes so destructive and/or exhuasting that it becomes impossible to maintain. the key to maintaining a long-term state of repression of desire is diverting that energy elsewhere, and a high-demand group such as the military is the perfect place for the captain to do this (this technqiue is frequented by religions and extremist ideologies worldwide, but that’s not really what we’re here to focus on). 

while the brain is actively repressing ‘deviant’ feelings (aka gay shit), this doesn't mean you don't experience the feelings at all. when performed as a subconscious act of survival, the aim of repression is to minimise/transform the feelings into a state where they can no longer cause immediate danger, and something as big as sexual/romantic orientation is going to keep popping up, but as long as the individual in question never understands what they’re feeling, they’ll be able to continue relatively undisturbed. you know how in heist movies, the leader of the group will only tell each team member part of the plan so they can’t screw things up for everyone else if they get caught? it’s kind of like that.

this is how the captain appears to have operated in life AND in death, and it’s a relatively common experience for lgbtq people who’ve grown up in similar circumstances (aka with a lack of information and in an unfriendly-to-hostile environment), and accounts for how some people can even go on to get married and have children before realising that they’re gay and/or trans. 

personally, while i can now identify what were strong homo crushes all the way back to childhood, at the time i genuinely had no idea. there was the underlying sense that i probably shouldn't tell people how attached i was to these girls because i would seem weird, and that my feelings were stronger than the ones other people used to describe friendships, but like-like them in the way that other girls like-liked boys? no way! actually scratch that, it wasn't even a no way, because i had no idea that i even could. i even had my own havers, at least in terms of the emotional hold and devotion she got from me, except she treated me way less well than cap’s beau. snatches of the existence of lgbt people made it through the cone of silence, i definitely heard the words gay and lesbian, but my levels of informations mirrored those that the captain would have had: virtually none, beyond the idea that these words exist, some people are them, and that's not something that we support or think is okay, so let's just not speak about it. despite only attending religious schools for the first couple years of primary, until i got my own technology and social media accounts to explore lgbtq content on my own- option a out of the two catalysts for change- the possibility of me being gay was not at all on my radar. don’t even get me started on how long it took me to explore butchness and my overall gender, two things which now feel glaringly obvious. 

when shit starts to break down, you can also make the conscious choice to repress which can delay the eventual smashing down of the mental closet door for a time (essentially when the closet door starts to open, you just say ‘no thanks’ and shut it again by pointedly Not Thinking About It). in the abscence of identifying yourself by your attractions, it becomes quite common to identify with a lack- in my case, this meant becoming proud of how sensible and not boy crazy i was, and in the captain’s case, this means becoming proud of how sensible and not sensuous/wild (aka woman crazy) he was, identifying with his LACK of desire for women and partying (which, even in the 40s, involved the expectation of opposite sex romances and hook ups). i’m not saying that’s the only reason he’s a rule follower, but i think the contrast between About Last Night and Perfect Day pretty much support this. (the captain getting on his high horse about general party antics that he inherently felt excluded from because of underlying awareness of his difference & his tendency to project his regimented expectations of himself onto others, vs. joining in the reception party, awareness of how the environment supports difference in the form of clare and sam, and relaxing his own rules by dancing with men- the captain doesn’t mind a party when feels like he has a place there.)

so the captain was operating in a high demand, highly regulated environment (primarily the military, but also early 20th century England itself), with regimented roles, rules, and expectations. working on the assumption that he wouldn't have had out/disclosing lgbt friends, he would have had little to no exposure to lgbt identities, and what information he did receive would have been hushed and negatively geared. while my world started to open up when i started high school was allowed to have my own phone + instagram account, resulting in me realising something wasn't quite 'right' within a few years (making me a relatively early realiser compared to those who don't come out to themselves until adulthood), in life the captain never had that experience. he didn't receive the information he needed, his environment didn't grow less hostile. with the near-exception of havers related heartbreak, his well disciplined and lifelong method of repression never became destructive/exhaustive enough to permanently override the danger signals in his mind and allow him to put his feelings into words. neither of the most common catalysts for change happened for him, so he continued as usual, even after his death.

BUT, and here’s where we come to why this is actually great representation, arrival of mike and Alison represents the opening up of new world. for the first time, the captain is actively made aware of the fact that his environment is no longer hostile, and better than that, it’s affirming. he’s also getting access to positively geared information about lgbtq people and identities, so option a of the two catalysts for change is absolutely present, and resoundingly positive. 

the captain’s arc is also relatively unique as it acknowledges the oppressive nature of his environment, but actually focuses on the internal consequences, and the way that systems like those that the captain lived in succeed because they turn us into our own oppressors. for whatever reason, we repress ourseslves, and often can’t help it, and i find that the significance of the journey to overcome that is often overlooked in more mainstream queer media. perhaps it’s just not very cinematic, or it remains too confronting for cishet audiences, but ghosts manages to touch on it with a lovely amount of humour and hope. Jamie Babbit’s But I’m A Cheerleader is another favourite piece of queer media for the same reasons.

not only does it show this, but as the captain continues to get gayer and lean into some of his less conventional traits (like an interest in fashion and the wedding planning), it shows lgbt people who have been or are going through this that there CAN be a positive outcome. it takes a lot to unlearn all the things that have painted you as wrong, especially when a massive institution is desperate to continue doing so, but you can do it, you can be happy, and it's never too late. (i've been meaning to say that last point for ages for ages, but a mutual beat me to it here)

2. not just another coming out arc

i absolutely support the demand for queer stories that don’t center around coming out (it’s like shrodinger’s queer: if you’re not coming out on screen, do you really even exist?), but i don’t align with the criticisms that the captain should already be out. for the reasons mentioned above, the captain’s particular story is fairly different to the ‘young white teenager who mostly knows gay is fine, it’s just everyone else that’s got the problem, but have a unremarkably straight sounding soundtrack, a trauma porn romance, and a cishet saviour’ that we keep seeing. the captain’s ongoing journey with his sexuality emphasises the overaching theme of the show: recovering from trauma and humanity’s endless capacity for growth, and i think that’s worth showing over and over again until it stops being true.

additionally, while the captain’s journey regarding his gayness is a big part of his character and story, ghosts makes it clear that it’s not the ONLY part, and being gay is far from his ONLY characteristic or dramatic/comedic engine. the fact that i’m even having to congratulate ghosts for doing that really shows how much film and television is struggling huh.

while all queer media is, and should be, subject to criticism, i think if it helps even one person then it absolutely deserves to exist, and i can say i’ve found the captain’s journey to be the lgbt story i’ve found that’s closest to my own, which says a lot considering he’s a dead world war 2 soldier who hangs out with other ghosts including a slutty Tory, a georgian noblewoman, and a literal caveman. 

3. if captain gay, why he no have boyfriend???? 

another complaint that’s been circulating is that since the captain doesn’t, and likely won’t, have a boyfriend, that makes him Bad Representation because it follows the sad single gay trope. i kind of get the logic from this one, and a lot of it is up to personal interpretation, but part of me really enjoys the fact that the captain’s journey towards accepting himself is separated from having a relationship.

coming out is often paired with having romantic/sexual relationships (either as the reason or reward for doing so). my own struggle with repression didn't end the second that came out, and i still struggle with letting myself develop & acknowledge romantic feelings as a result of actively shutting them (and most other feelings in general) down for years, and statistics show that lgbtq youth in particular tend not to live out their 'teen years' until their twenties. by not giving cap a relationship straight away, ghosts separates the act of claiming identity and sexual orientation from finding a partner (two things which are, more often than not, separate), and also provides some very nice validation to folks who have yet to have the relationship they want, especially when lots of mainstream queer media is now jumping on the cishet media bandwagon of acting as if every person loses their virginity and has a life defining relationship at sixteen. it’s essentially a continuation of the earlier theme of “it’s never too late”, and who’s to say the captain won’t get a gay bear ghost boyfriend to go haunt nazis with??? people die all the time, it could happen.

(also, i think him and julian will have definitely shagged at least once. it was a low moment for both of them and they refuse to speak of it.)

lots of asexual/ace spectrum fans have come out to say how much they’ve loved being able to headcanon cap as ace, and while that’s not a headcanon i personally have, i think it’s brilliant that ace fans feel seen by his character- we’re all in this soup together babey (and sorry for cursing everyone still reading this with that cap/julian headcanon. i’m just a vessel)

4. “okay, but cap’s a GHOST- doesn’t that make this Bury Your Gays?”

this is a bit of a complex one, but i’m going to say no as a result of the following break down.

Bury Your Gays (BYG), aka the trope where lgbtq characters are consistently killed off (and often with a heavy dose of trauma, while cishet characters survive) is probably one of my least favourite lgbt media tropes. BYG has two main points:

1. the lgbt character is killed, thus removing them from story entirely- hence the use of the phrase ‘killed OFF’ (killed off of the show/film)

2. the character’s death reinforces the perception that lgbtq people’s lives must end in tragedy, instead of being long and fulfilling, or are inherently less valuable. bonus points if the character is killed in a hate crime or confesses same-gender love right before they die (that one implies that queer love genuinely has no future!)

not every death of an lgbtq character is bury your gays, and i personally feel that the captain is an example of an lgbt death that isn’t. 

first of all, while the captain is dead, so are the vast majority of characters in ghosts. the premise of the show means that death is not the end of the line for its characters- for most of them, it’s the only reason we get to see them on screen at all. as such, the captain being dead doesn’t remove him from the story, so point one is irrelevant.

at the time of posting, we don’t know how or why the captain died, but we've had nothing to suggest his death was in any way related to his latent sexuality, so his mysterious death doesn’t actively play into the supposedly inherent tragedy of queer lives, nor the supposedly lesser value. that’s as of right now- since we don’t know the circumstances of his death it’s a little tough to analyse properly. while the captain’s life absolutely features missed opportunities and it’s fair share of tragedy, hope and growth (which seems to be the theme of this post) abounds in equal measure. the captain may not be alive, but we DO get to see him growing and having a relatively happy existence, that for the most part seems to be getting even better as he learns to open up and be himself unapologetically- that doesn’t feel like BYG to me.

while writng this, it’s just occured to me that death really is a second chance for most of the ghosts, especially with the introduction of alison. from mary learning to read, to thomas finding modern music, they’ve all been given the chance explore things they never could have while they were alive, and hopefully grow enough to one day be sucked off move on.

in conclusion,

i love the captain very much and i hope his arc lives up to the standards it’s set so far. i don’t know where to put this in this post, but i’d alo like to say i LOVE how in Perfect Day, the captain wasn’t used as an educational experienced for fanny at all. i am very tired of people expecting me to be the walking talking homophobe educator and rehabilitator, so the fact that it’s alison and the other ghosts that call fanny out while the captain just gets to have fun with the wedding organisation made me very happy.

here’s a few other cap posts that i’ve done:

the captain’s arc if adam and the film crew stayed

a possible cap coming out 

the captain backstory headcanon

if you’ve read this far,

thank you!

also check out @alex-ghosts-corner , this post inspired me very much to write this