#question mark bc im not so sure myself

[rottingflowrs]

hiiii I'm going to try to be more active and I know i say that a lot but uni has literally taken over my life . I've started working on the requests in my inbox and I'll try to get them out soon

[saleeba]

fool ; jude bellingham

summary ♡ betting on the phenomenon of unrequited feelings, you and jude have never dared to make the first move with the other until a reunion forces new questions to be answered.

pairing ♡ jude bellingham x fem!reader

content ♡ 18+, smut, friends to lovers, alcohol consumption, cursing, kissing, both jude & reader are pining idiots, fingering, p in v sex, marking, missionary, unprotected sex (jude pulls out but still pls practise safe sex!!)

a/n ♡ she's baaaack :D but first☝🏽alexa play fool by nct 127 !!!! the lyric "you’re a goddess but i’m a fool, what should i do?" was written for this fic in particular i just know it was :] anyway hehe this fic is based off this request so tysmm to anon for sending such an exciting prompt !! i hope yous enjoy 🫶🏽💗 WAIT P.S this isn’t proofread bc i lowkey am not rocking with it so i didn’t wanna put myself thru having to read it again & again … im sorry for any mistakes :’)

you had just gotten off work to a stream of relentless texts from your best friends’ groupchat — phone pinging off the rails whilst you were on shift, muffled buzzes from your bag making you wonder what on earth was worth blowing up in that whatsapp group on a random friday afternoon.

on the train back home, you tap open the green app, anticipating yourself easily spending the entire journey catching up on the three hundred-plus texts from your closest mates. you decide to start right from the beginning of the influx, thumb scrolling nonstop and eyes blurring from the rapid movement until they focus back on the screen where you stop, finally having reached the destination of the first text that set it all off. 

it was from none other than jude bellingham, and you were nearly embarrassed by the way your face instantly lit up upon reading his message. the groupchat’s golden boy had popped up after weeks of minimal contact, asking if he could take everyone for a night out tomorrow to make up for it, stating that he finally has some small gaps of free time between hectic pre-season schedules to allow him to do so.

it honestly warmed your heart that the first thing he wants away from football is to see you all. you’d been a band of good friends since the first year of secondary school, contact not necessarily strained as you all had a lot of love for each other but rather unspokenly reduced after leaving school two years ago and falling into busy university or career ventures.

instead of scrolling through to read and react to the plethora of follow-up texts after his, you ignore them and jump straight to typing your reply to his invitation, casting aside that nagging voice asking you: doesn’t that seem too desperate?

no, right? i’m just accepting his invitation, getting straight to the point, the convo ended half an hour ago anyway. you’re arguing with yourself now, feeling the need to give unnecessary excuses to nonexistent accusations. if you were to be honest with yourself, you were always self-conscious of the way you behaved around jude, even now debating on whether to add your signature heart emoji or if it’d come across as you trying too hard given your feelings for him; albeit them being feelings that no one knows about, not even him. you made sure for it to be that way.

with a mental note to get over yourself, you send an affirmative ‘i’m up for it!’, signature heart included, and quickly shut off your phone. heart beating so rapidly, you scolded yourself for getting so worked up over a mere reply and for definitely not getting over yourself. god knows how you’re going to handle seeing him in person. 

a sudden double buzz from your device does nothing to calm you down, instead dampening your hands with sweat when you grab it and see a pair of messages from him.

jude 🌟: heyy i’m so glad you can make it tomorrow :)

jude 🌟: can’t wait to see you!! ❤❤

he had messaged you separately for some reason and he had included two hearts… the overthinking starts for you again, without even beginning to think about what to reply this time, and you question why he couldn’t have just replied to you in the groupchat or why he couldn’t have just left the end of the messages with a ‘x’ like he usually does or why he would even say what he said in the last message. mind frantic and unable to clear itself, you thank yourself for having your read receipts turned off so you can have your mini meltdown without worrying about jude knowing you’d seen his messages multiple minutes ago. god, you were down so bad. 

you force yourself to open the messages app and send the most casual reply you can type.

you: can’t wait to see you too! ❤

you try to keep it short, sweet and nonchalant even if your fingers are itching to type more – more about how much you had missed him, more about what he was planning to wear tomorrow night so that maybe you could match your own outfit with him, more about your true, unfiltered feelings for him. it’s pathetic really; you hadn’t seen him in two years and the first thing you wanted to do was throw yourself at him, spilling all the secrets you’d been holding close for so many years. you leave it at that, put your phone on do not disturb mode and head on home, waiting for the long hours of friday evening to pass and saturday night to arrive.

***

and so saturday night rolls around and you just about finish touching up your makeup and smoothing out your dark blue dress before the doorbell rings, and you’re whisked away to the club by a couple of your girlfriends. 

as soon as you step your high heels into the building, you’re met with the sight of flowing booze and the noise of noughties r&b beats bouncing around the brightly lit walls. dragged by the hands of your friends, you find yourself standing next to a booth at the back of the club, the rest of the group now welcoming you latecomers with a loud cheer.

“finally, girls. you took your time!” one of your male friends remarks, ushering you all to sit down.

“oh god, what have we missed?” you beam, trying to scan the group amongst the strobing lights to catch a glimpse of the person you were really there for. 

“nah, you’re just in time because… first round’s on mister madrid!”

the callout breaks your friend group into a raucous holler as your gaze fixes onto the six foot-one footballer who stands up with an amused grin and a sigh of feigned defeat. your heart quickens and your smile turns into a state of near disbelief over how good jude looks right now – graphic white t-shirt hugging his biceps in all the right places and hanging over a pair of smart-casual black trousers.

“yeah, yeah, anything for my groupies,” he winks at no one in particular but your brain almost convinces you that he was looking at you while doing it. you send a shy smile his way just in case but what he says next has your mouth running dry. “help us out, will ya, y/n?”

you hesitate for a second too long for your liking, stumbling over your words while your friends peer at you. ���uh… uh-huh, yeah, of course.” you answer as quick as you can, standing up on your feet slowly as to not trip over your now-shaking legs and send yourself flying into jude, and to avoid embarrassing yourself more than you think you already have.

he responds with a grateful smile and you follow him to the bar where he places an order for a round of drinks and some shots to be delivered to the group by the two of you. there’s an odd unfamiliarity to the silence between you both and you realise that you aren’t normally this quiet around jude, and neither is he around you; you would always joke that he’d be eligible to talk for england if he wasn’t already playing football for them. he’d retort with a comment about how his ears could almost fall off with the amount of chatting you do, and you’d dryly reply with a ‘well, they’re too big for your head anyway. look at the size of them!’ the pair of you were always as thick as thieves in the eyes of everyone else. which is why you didn’t expect it to be like this, especially after two years of not seeing each other – there was so much you wanted to catch up on from his world and so much you wanted to share from yours. you decidedly gain some courage and take the initiative to spark some conversation, get something going at least.

“soo, how have you been, then?” you’re both facing the bar, your head barely tilting in jude’s direction to indicate that yes, it is him that you’re talking to and not some random like he assumes you are with the way you’re positioned away from him, eyes just about turning to steal a glance of his figure but not to hold eye contact. “how’s la vida española?”

jude finds amusement in your sudden flaunt of the spanish language, a smile breaking out on his face, unseen to you since he’s still facing the same direction that you are, preoccupying his eyes with the myriad of bottles on the shelves while his mind searches for an apt reply.

“yeah, it’s been great, i think i wanna stay there forever,” jude laughs, his fingers tapping on the black surface of the bar. you can’t help the selfish feeling of your heart dropping at his confession. “i miss you, though, y’know… a lot.” 

this one confession forces your whole body to turn itself towards him, eyes now chasing after his to seek some form of sincerity, to see if he was just messing about or if he really meant what he just said. he shifts his head to face you now, a bashful look painted onto his features. the expectant silence says it all really; of course i mean it. 

you gulp and decide to break the quietness with a sarcastic, jesting “ugh…”, jude’s face dropping at what he thinks is genuine disgust from you. you realise your attempt to denounce the awkwardness has backfired.

“oh my god, you dickhead, i’m joking,” how is it that mere moments ago you were shaking at the sheer real-life presence of him but now you’d transformed into having this confident playfulness? and all of it without a drop of alcohol in your system as well – you’re quietly proud of yourself. “i missed you too, jude… a lot.” you coyly repeat his words. 

upon your turn of the confession, the bartender sets down your drink orders and the two of you wordlessly carry the trays over to where your friends are situated, the silence way more comfortable now that you’re both basking in assurance, unbeknown to the other that your hearts were racing at a hundred miles per hour.

***

not even two hours and an innumerable amount of shots later, you’re all a drunken mess; definitely not a surprise to a single one of you. what is a surprise is the way you’re strewn across jude, right leg wrapped around his left, head on his chest, swirling and sipping from what’s clearly an empty glass to any sober, sane person. you grumble and mutter a complaint about the lack of liquor in the booth, taking it upon yourself to head to the bar and order another round for everyone.

“i’ll come with you,” jude announces over the pounding of the music, standing up so quickly that his next five steps are staggered and he has to cling onto your arm to steady himself. “i’m fine, i’m okay.” he assures nobody that asked.

the two of you stumble your way into the path of the bar, determined to drink until the sun comes up and forget every strand of stress until the hangovers come knocking. jude’s soft grip on your arm has you being led in the opposite direction all of a sudden, though. 

“uhm, where are we going?” you question, head still turned to where the bar is located, about to ask him if he was so hammered he couldn’t walk in a simple straight line to get to where you’d planned to go. “jude?”

he’s silent, save for humming his way to his desired destination, and you question if he even knows where he’s leading you. before you make the choice of going along with him or leaving his clearly confused self to go cop your next cocktail, you find yourself in the disabled toilets, pushed up against the sink with the door not even shut properly, gasping at how rough jude is handling your body compared to his soft touches from before, and how close his face is to yours, warm breath fanning the skin of your lips. you weren’t strictly against it all but how the hell have you ended up like this? The alcohol and the questions come at you fast, dizzying your brain but you can’t help but feel so keenly anticipative.

“i’m sorry, i just…” he pulls away from you, eyes fluttering closed so he can re-evaluate his actions, exhaling through his nose as if he was letting go of all doubts before continuing. “am i okay to do this?” he places his hands on your waist, pushing himself back into your space, his full lips more or less about to take yours. you have to refrain from letting the effects of alcohol take over your tongue and uttering back with a breathy ‘you can do whatever you want to me’.

instead, you answer with an earnest, eager nod, inviting his lips to finally do that one thing you had been dreaming of for so long, to kiss yours so silly that they’re left with the imprint of him. and jude does just that.

his mouth takes in yours so determinedly, shyness and hesitation now long-dissolved feelings for you both as your hands find home around the back of his neck, pushing his head further onto you, feeling the need to taste him more and more until you’re both consumed by each other. 

it’s a messy makeout, noses bumping and teeth clashing, but it’s oh so hot, the way he gasps into your mouth from breathlessness and pleasure, running and gripping his large hands over the material adorning your waist and hips as the need to rip it off you nearly overtakes him. to you, he’s so utterly intoxicating that a gallon of alcohol would pale in comparison to how dizzy his skin on yours makes you feel. 

you release a moan at the meagre thought of jude all over your body, and he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue over yours, filthy noises of wetness and carnality from the both of you reaching high pitch as jude somehow simultaneously pushes you against the sink and pulls you against his chest, his manhandling of you getting you even more hot and bothered before you’re both interrupted by the hub of people passing by and huddling right outside the bathroom, their self-occupied shouts and cheers dragging you out of the bubble that the two of you had wrapped yourselves in, almost sobering you up on the spot.

you push jude out of your way, gentle but abrupt, and give him a look of apologetic regret. “i-i’m sorry,” you say, jitterily walking past him and exiting the room without a second glance or word, heading straight to the booth where your friends are hollering and hurraying, occupied with shot-drinking contests. 

your girlfriends offer to go home with you when you lie and tell them you’re not feeling very well, but you decline them, instead telling them to have fun on your behalf and letting them know that you’ll try to text them once you get home safely. you can tell they’re confused by your shaken state and the absence of jude but you grab your bag and make your exit before the interrogation can even begin to brew.

you manage to grab a taxi back home, surprised by how competent you are despite the alcohol in your bloodstream and confusion in your brain. on the way there, you can’t stop the bouncing of your knee nor the racing of your psyche, asking yourself how and why whatever went down with jude went down like that. you curse at yourself for being so impulsive in starting and finishing the whole ordeal with him in the way that you did – you don’t know if it’s the empty, depressive drunk thoughts or just clarity from the whole jude thing that makes you feel like there’s no coming back from this at all. you feel like crawling into your bed and never coming out from it ever again. 

the taxi driver has to call for your attention multiple times until you reach earth again and pay him the journey’s fee. you go skulking all the way up to your front door, only letting out a breath that you feel like you’ve been holding since the beginning of the night once the door shuts behind you.

the rest of the night is quiet and orderly for you, telling yourself to not invite any more chaos into your brain and to simply drink some water and to go to sleep. waking up tomorrow morning is going to be painful in more ways than one.

***

you spend the rest of the weekend nursing a ferocious hangover and a frazzled heart, only contacting your friends to tell them that you got home fine and to joke that you probably need a century or two for this hangover to be gone. you thank the high heavens that they don't bring up the topic of you and jude 

you try not to think too much about jude, you really do, but sunday night has a couple of taps landing you on the instagram app and you learn that he’s already back in spain, pictures of him in training sliding across your phone screen on his story along with selfies with his teammates. usually, you tap that small red heart at the bottom and hope that he sees it amongst his millions and millions of notifications, a tiny ritual of yours that now has you feeling so pathetic that you don’t dare to do it anymore.

running a hand over your weary face, you set your phone down and opt to nap the night away, finding comfort in the non-intrusion from your friends and the no contact from jude, hoping to keep yourself busy and distracted with whatever the work week brings.

a ring from the doorbell rips through your flat just as you’re organising your pillows, forcing you to stop what you’re doing and ponder who could be at the door on a sunday while the clock ticks some minutes past one o’clock. you don’t recollect ordering any food nor are you expecting a delivery, especially not this late. 

trudging your way to the front door, you open it to find jude bellingham standing there and you feel an instant pang of regret, wishing you had peeked through the window to see who it could be, wishing you had pretended to not be in, wishing the ground would open up right now and swallow you whole  – anything to escape the confrontation that you’re now having to face. your face heats up with embarrassment and nerves but you manage to rupture the silence before your mouth can turn dry. 

“j-jude, hi,” you try and keep your greeting as polite and cordial as you can, even when all you really want to do is to chase him off your doorstep. “what are you doing here?”

your query has jude visibly gulping, hands fiddling with each other as he attempts to hold eye contact with you, his vision a bit blurry from exhaustion. “y/n… sorry, can i come in?”

you oblige, holding the door open wide before you guide him to the living room and invite him to sit down on the plushness of your sofa, settling yourself on the opposite end of it. you silently prompt him to say what he came here to say with a nod of your head. 

“uhm, i’m sorry for turning up unannounced, and so late…” ever the courteous. “i had to sneak away from the lads and catch the last flight to here so it was all a bit down to the wire.” he lets out a small, uneasy laugh.

you cut off his rambling with a curt “what do you want, jude?” you don’t mean for it to sound so rude but you still hold the attitude of wanting to get this over and done with, already feeling annoyance at yourself for even letting him into your home. 

“right, yeah, i actually wanted to talk about what happened on saturday,” he goes back to fiddling with this thumbs, eyebrows furrowed but he avoids looking at you this time. not that you can blame him because your own vision shifts to anywhere but his direction. “i’m so sorry for making you uncomfortable a-and please tell me if this is inappropriate, but i haven’t stopped thinking about last night, i haven't stopped thinking about you, i-i’m sorry, i know this is all so silly and you probably don’t even feel the same bu-”

you stop him right there, this time with good reason as you can’t bear holding back your real emotions, not when he’s practically given you the green light to spill the contents of your heart.

“no, jude, i didn’t feel uncomfortable at all,” you assure him, gaze now on the footballer in front of you and you almost can’t believe the words leaving your mouth right now. “i wanted it to happen, i’m glad it happened, you know, i think i’ve had dreams about it happening,” you try and offset any tension with a timid chuckle before turning quite pensive. “i really like you, jude, i have for a long time… god, sorry, this is so embarrassing.” you return to making light of the situation you’ve put yourself in, the timidness sinking back in as quick as the relief lifts you up. 

jude moves closer to your now-cowering body, knees touching as your heartbeat surges with worry and self-consciousness all wrapped up into a tight, miserable ball. he puts his sweat-dampened hands into yours and squeezes in silent assurance before raising them up to his lips and laying a chaste kiss on the heated skin.

he can’t help but break out into a sweet smile, eyes threatening to crinkle at the edges. your face is still sketched with tension and now confusion has joined the mix.

“i can’t tell you how long i’ve waited to hear that from you, how much i needed to hear it,” your eyes meet his, widening in surprise a little. “i’m a fool for not telling you sooner… i like you, y/n, i really like you.” he repeats your own words back at you, leaning in with a smattering of amusement dancing in his vision. 

“can i kiss you?” the question leaves your lips faster than you can even process it in your brain.

jude wastes no time in replying with a firm pressing of his mouth on yours, deepening it within seconds, the need to cement his feelings for you being told through the way he cradles your head in his hand, leaning you back onto the arm of the sofa to further intensify the kiss. your lips move along with his, the soft weight of his body pressed against yours making you whine into his mouth in ecstasy.

he lifts off of you with a puckering of his swollen lips, the both of you taking the chance to draw in some air and attempt to regulate your breathing pattern.

“please take me to the bedroom,” you beg, breathless from the sheer sight of his dark eyes and pretty pout. there’s no fight nor denial from jude as he picks you up and prompts you to wrap your legs around his waist, quickening his pace once you point in the direction of your room.

he lays you down on the bed so gently, lips latching onto yours once again before they travel down your jaw and over the warm skin of your neck. the light touch of his fluttering eyelashes married with the pressure of his soft lips has your head spinning, hands tentatively laid on top of your sheets since you don’t trust yourself to not grab his head and bring it back to your lips. his fingers tinker with the waistband of your pyjama trousers, stretching it off your skin before he asks permission to peel them down your legs. 

once they’re cast away in some corner of your bedroom, jude divides your legs by the underside of your knees, tucking himself into the now available space between them, turning onto his side and resting on his left forearm. he leaves a small kiss over your covered cunt and you try your best to not just clamp his head in between your thighs and smother him with your growing wetness here and now. 

“need to get you ready, baby,” the sudden mention of the petname has you throbbing, squirming even more when he traces a line from your clit down to where there’s a small damp spot forming on the dark material of your underwear.

“jude, please,” you whine out, lifting your hips in a desperate bid to get the boy to strip your lower half completely. 

he shushes you in his own charming way, making sure to comply with your demand by getting up onto his knees and discarding your soaked panties in a matter of seconds, the cold air generated by his large hands whipping them off you hits your exposed pussy, making you hiss through gritted teeth.

jude returns to the gap between your spread legs, sitting back but still on his knees, his higher position causing you to shift onto resting your body weight on the palms of your hands in order to peer at his actions – which start with him re-tracing that same teasing line from your aching clit to your hole with his thumb, the feeling now so intense on your unclothed skin. he hums in what sounds to be satisfaction when you throw your head back in pleasure, taking it in his favour to slip his index finger into the tightness of your pussy. 

you release a guttural groan at the feeling of finally having some part of him inside you; you of course don’t want this to be the only part but you’re still so very grateful, so fucking grateful he’s now rubbing at your clit in delicious rounds, thumb tracing circle after circle while his fingers form a pair, pistoning in and out of you so easily due to the way your cunt douses itself with every move of jude’s. 

“fuck, baby,” jude moans at the sight of his soaked digits every time they barely pull out of that pretty pussy, his thumb torturing your sensitive bud increasingly so, the cries and whimpers spilling from your lips an incentive for him. “feel so good and tight around my fingers, can’t imagine how you’ll feel around my dick.” 

his words have you absolutely reeling, writhing against his hand to try and chase that moment of release. 

“please, jude, i’m so close,” you’re warning and demanding at the same time, almost begging him to not stop or even think about moving his fingers out of you. “god, please, i need it,” 

jude suddenly retracts both of his hands, leaving you bare and empty. “no way, baby, need to have you cumming on my cock or not cumming at all,” he comments with a shake of his head, denying you the opportunity of leaking your cum over his hand. upon seeing your bewildered face, he makes up for it by putting on a show of licking your juices clean off his fingers, the digits popped inside his mouth and dragged right back out with a low moan, him praising the way you taste. 

“move up the bed for me, angel,” he orders, watching you while he stands up and unclothes himself as quick as he can. you scoot backwards, legs still spread open like they’ve been locked in that position, before pulling your oversized t-shirt off of you, chest void of a restricting bra . “good girl,” he praises, crawling up to hover his body over your laying one, cock in hand as your legs come to wrap around him. “are you still okay with this? we can stop at any point, okay?”

the sincerity of his voice has you melting. some would remark that the bar is in hell for you but the truth is that you hadn’t been with anyone like this for more months than you could count on your hands. you've been touch-starved and lacking words of affirmation for so long, and you needed something to be only about you for once. 

“i’m more than okay with this,” you smile up at him, nodding to make your approval fully known. “and yes, i know i can stop you if i need to.”

jude reciprocates the same smile before leaning in and smothering your lips with his, pushing his cock into your tight wetness, so tight that your pussy almost pushes him back out, not used to being penetrated by something so thick.

“oh my god!” the feeling of tightness/fullness has you both gasping out the same thing at the same time, erupting into quiet giggles when the two of you realise your matching reactions. 

jude’s mouth finds its way back home in the embrace of your lips and you swear this is heaven, the way his cock slides in and out of your sopping cunt, set at such a perfect pace, the slight friction causing you to grow even wetter – the filth of it all contrasts so well with the sweetness of his muffled moans and tender kisses on your neck, moving down onto your collarbones and tits.

a particularly harsh thrust of his cock has your back arching, chest pushed up to his heated face, and he takes this golden opportunity to wrap his lips around your erect nipple, spending a good while sucking and tugging on the skin around it. you’re amazed at how his cock doesn’t relent inside you, the speed still so quick and consistent even when he’s so occupied in painting splotches on your tits with his mouth.

“there,” he pants out, pulling his head back and marvelling at his own creation. “now, there’s no doubt that you’re really mine.” the smile he gives you is a killer.

you whine at his declaration of you belonging to him, scratching at his shoulders and calling out his name to indicate that it’s all too much for you, that you’re so, so close to cumming on his cock and really giving him what he wants rather than pleasing yourself. you figure that’s you gone now; you’re more willing to put the boy above your own needs because you’re down that fucking bad for him.

“fuck, jude, i’m gonna cum!” you sob, your moans becoming more frequent and higher pitched, legs starting to shake from the intoxicating mix of exhaustion and delight. you’re frantically chanting “please, please, please” into his mouth which parts to swallow your whimpering, wet lips kissing your trembling ones. 

“go on, baby, cum for me, cum all over this cock,” he groans out, eyes squeezing shut when the feeling of your pussy clamping down tightly on his thickness proves too much to handle, face finding refuge in the crook of your neck. he knows you don’t need his permission, he would’ve let you orgasm as many times as you wanted to, would’ve let you use him like your own personal sex toy, but the words were only there to keep you going when his hips felt like faltering – he needed you cumming on his cock like he promised before, and he wasn’t about to fuck it up himself.

a final scream rips from your throat as you cum hard around jude, pussy clenching and pulsating around his cock so sporadically you thought you were having two orgasms at once. jude can’t handle it anymore, pulling out with a myriad of moans as he pumps his shaft with a hand, decorating the expanse of your lower abdomen with warm, white liquid. you’re still squirming, slowly trying to wheeze out the remaining whimpers from your lungs which you’re finding hard to do with the way jude pants and moans above you, the boy so spent he can’t help but breathe like he hasn’t had access to air for the past hour.  

he flops down by your side, arms and legs sprawled like a starfish, chest rising and falling as he attempts to recuperate from the mindblowing sex you two just had. the image is so unserious that you can’t stifle your giggles but you decide to take another step of courage to lay on your side resting your head on his shoulder, fingers stroking his abs and playing with the curly hairs of his happy trail. 

the room is quiet now with the scent of sex wafting through your nostrils on occasion but it’s the most comfortable silence you’ve experienced with jude, the feeling of his hot skin on yours so soothing to you.

after a period of panting, jude clears his throat and your ears prick up at the presence of sound. he turns his head towards you and you lift yourself up and off him out of instinct – you want full attention on him.

“i don’t want this to be a one-time kinda thing, y’know,” he proclaims, biting his lip from saying too much in one go.

“what, is this your way of saying you want round two already?” you joke, nose crinkling at the way he rolls his eyes playfully.

“shut up,” he delivers a poke to your side. “i mean, well, i don’t want either one of us to see this as a spur-of-the-moment thing, i just…” you look at him expectantly, silently telling him to continue. “i want you to be my girlfriend, y/n.” 

you’re nearly knocked back by his words, wondering if they’re real or if you’re simply just hearing things. you thought dialogue like that, coming from him, was only reserved for your imagination, kept secret and only spoken to you in late-night mental scenarios that would comfort you on your way to slumberland.

you let out a laugh that’s an odd mix of relief and disbelief, quickly replying “yes, yes, of course” to his awaiting face, which releases a look of relief itself before jude captures your lips with such passion you’re both knocked back onto the plush pillows, giggling into each other’s mouths until your hands find themselves running down the defined muscles of his abdomen and over his hardening cock.

[mariusroyale]

tips on how to draw raph? :3

I’m a raph lover but he is so hard to draw 😔

hey an!! listen i get u completely, this big spikey boy can be a real challenge

my main advice would probably be to recognise raph’s structure? his shapes and how he’s formed, etc. and the best way for that imo are references! i have a tag for this actually

and here’s some raph refs!

if u wanna know how to draw the entirety of the best boy this post wouldn’t do it justice so here’s some main things:

if you’re trying to replicate the show’s style keep in mind how angular everything is. raph's main shape is a square because of how bulky and rigid he is (helps to encourage his character's role too! love that they made him such a fucken tank)

raph’s head shape is basically if you widened leo’s head- they’re both pointed too

one main thing i do for any head really is keep in mind the eye placement and the cheeks

if u happen to draw faces with the fabled circle and two lines- i use the horizontal line to mark where the bottom of the eyes are- and where the start of the cheek begins (i’m doing my best not to make this into a ‘now draw the rest of the owl’ moment)

if that makes any sense. heres a really shoddy 'tutorial'

i kinda just blank out on my canvas and raph appears out of sheer will

but also just like.

figure out how you like raph's head to look (maybe u want his snout longer, or his jaw shorter, etc etc)

figure out where his brow ridges are located and how they're moving (is he grumpy? is he angry??)

make a mask for his eyes to go in (jebus take the wheel)

pronounce snout (it protrudes, which makes it easy to figure out his facial planes)

do whatever feels right for his mouth- im not exactly rigid with how i draw as of rn, i just do what feels right

ive drawn raph with a more pronounced snout too, and oscillate between designs if i feel like it (truthfully i also sometimes begin his head shape with a square (i mean if im doing a different style), feel free to do that if it helps i dunno-)

if you want to draw his shell and plastron here’s what i do:

being able to carve out 3D shapes will help a lot with the border of his shell

by blocking out the main shape and then carving away at it you can then see how raph’s shell is structured (just. try decipher my sketch if u can pfghjhj)

for the actual shell itself it’s a lot like mikey and leo’s where it has a big curve and then dips at his midsection (where his belt goes!) also keep in mind the spikes of his shell follow those same curves (ft. dr belle)

with his plastron (chest plate) i basically make sure it’s the same length of his clavicle? the jagged edges of it i mean. it helps a lot to map out where his shoulders meet his arms

(pls keep in mind my art’s inconsistent and i don’t even follow my advice- the hole in his shell changes every time i draw it 💀)

his body shape is also just in general wider and stockier- if i ever see people draw him skinnier than he is you'd be able to hear my soul exiting my body

all of him is wider in general! hes bigger than the rest of his brothers so dont forget to show it instead of just giving him a height difference. he BEEG.

i’m not sure how else to describe the process of drawing him other than just. draw him?? 😅 my best advice would be to draw him repeatedly based on references- and study your favourite raph artists’ way of drawing him (mine would be jacocoon and itz_jazzy_jazzin)

and it helps to study bc it can answer these questions

how do you want to draw him? do you like the way a specific artist stylises his features? do you want him more spikey? more sharp? maybe you want to draw him bigger! (i myself like to give him a tail, extra markings on his spikes + a few scars post movie and his mismatched eyes)

repetition is super important to get it all engrained in your brain- and it’s why i don’t really even use refs for him anymore fldjs

dont forget a very important rule: appreciate the big boy in all his glory

[j2zara]

Hiiiiii~ 2, 4, 7, 10, 22, 24, 30 for the fic writer game! 💖

Hiiiii friend! Sorry this took all day my brain is dead rn

2. a character whose POV you’re currently exploring

Lol i'm banging my head against the wall getting killed by LJ3porter fic so i'm like. Right in Girlfail Ellie J4 POV hell rn!!!! She's so fun and i do think writing for her is both easy and hard in that i enjoy doing it (and tbh i think i default to her pov usually when im in LJ3 mode) but i worry i make her way too sopping wet and pathetic. Which she can be pathetic but i worry im going like. way too sad wattpad girl with her.

4. a story idea you haven’t written yet

OK! I've talked about a few different things before so i'm gonna. Well. I'm two sentences into twelfth night j2 being sent to pursue Jace on Porter's behalf fic so i feel like that counts as "not written yet." I also talk about how. I think doing a reincarnation au for LJ3 or the clones in general would be so fun. i'm not sure what kind tho, the version in which they're all new teachers at aguefort is so fun and kinda stuck in my brain now. Plus i wanna write Barbarian teacher Tiefling!Ellie x Sorcerer teacher Aasimar!J3 like so so so so bad i think it would be such a funny way to have them never escaping the torment nexus. I also think it would be fun to write something abt LJ3 in their friends with benefits era. Or maybe one of their more official "date nights". I think if they got into doing roleplay in the bedroom is would be so so so so so so fucking funny. Like. Pretending the other is stranger they picked up at the bar or something.

7. your preferred writing fonts

Tbh i kinda would like to find a perfect writing font? I tend to default Arial and it doesn't look perfect its honestly kinda offputting but. my strategy is. When I feel like my writing looks so so so busted i switch to Verdana which is closer to the ao3 font so i can better visualize how it's gonna look. And that helps a bit. Idk im sick.

10. what is the longest amount of time you’ve let a draft rest before you finished it?

That's a good question. Actually? A couple years i think? I abandoned my old talentswap for a couple years before picking it up again in college. (tbh my current ch 3.3 is STILL unfinished so i abandoned it again). Tbh i'm not good at letting drafts rest and returning back to them. I either try to power through or end up abandoning it which i don't love

22. do you ever worry about public reaction to what you’re writing? how do you get past that?

I try not to but like. Yeah. I'm stressed basically every time. I joke that when i write original fiction that i have a hoard of angry twitter pearlclutchers that live in my head ready to rip everything i do to shreds but i try not to listen to them. But i'm worried every time. This has nothing to do with how i feel about you guys tbh i wildly underestimate your guys kindness and goodwill just bc im very hard on myself

I was anxious abt IYWD (I was worried it was gonna come across as too soft or too apologetic). I was anxious that nobody would take to Dyke!Jace/Zara in Who Can Blame a Girl, or i wouldn't be able to sell it

I probably MOST anxious of all about Almost (I was SO stressed that ppl were not gonna vibe at all with Bluejay or not gel with the whole "what if the clones were actual characters" , "born to love porter cliffbreaker, forced to do menial tasks for jaceprime" etc etc thought experiment. and i was so so so so so so scared about dropping the nickname Bluejay i was worried it was gonna be completely stupid and i was completely off the mark)

I was anxious abt Biggest Lie (i was worried it wasn't hot enough or maybe too violent or that it was maybe too shamelessly just like. smut lol).

And after Almost i was probably second most anxious about Stay / Leave. It was just a wip i really struggled with and idk it was so.... insular i guess? b/c it was so niche and the wip ended up being SO LONG and kinda emotional and sappy? Like again i think i was having the same doubts i had abt j2 in which i was like what if i can't sell people on this relationship. What if i've failed to convey something sincere. (that one was crazy tho bc i really really really really tried to release it and not care what happened bc i knew only a handfull of ppl would read it and i really really really tried to be cool and for a while i was but it was just hard i was so nervous and i don't think it was anyones reaction is really was just my nerves that were putting me in such a bad and upset mood and then over the next day or two i. I made this joke earlier that like. I PROMISE and hope i'm not overinflating my ego when i say this like i'm perfectly aware that i just write silly smut online but it really was so so so so funny. to see everyone practically overnight be like.... wait. Are LJ3..... in love??? And now LJ3 is like such an integral part of clone lore.

24. how do you recharge when you’re not feeling creative?

That's a good question bc i feel like. When i'm stuck in one medium i tend to just try and distract myself with another so when im bad at drawing i write and when im bad at writing i draw. But thats not exactly recharging. Tbh i do think i need to find better things in my routine that rejuvenate me i think i haven't been particularly good at treating myself well lately

30. share a fic you’re especially proud of

I'm cringe and usually will shill if you want divinity (you're gonna have to go through me) as one of my favorite things i've ever written. But im also extremely confident most of y'all have already read it. I'm very very hard on myself so i swing between thinking the things i make suck and also being like. Fairly proud of all of them.

But idk it was my first ambitious thing i wrote and FINISHED in a long time and honestly? I do think its slightly better than the rest bc the iterations are all reliant on the original so they're very intertextual and repetitive which isn't BAD but. The extra work it took to make IYWD work makes it feel different to me. There's a LOT of stuff in it that i'm proud of that i honestly kind of miss b/c Porter is so smitten for Jace in a way he hasn't been in things i've written in a long time. I'm a softy who likes when jaceporter are soft and kinda in love... sue me... And like. i always feel so self congratulatory talking about the Loving To the Point of Invention Detect Thoughts + Teleport but i really felt good about coming up with that. And i still like the flashbacks a lot. It always feels so embarrassing to admit that i like. Get emotional thinking about the flashback of them on the bed. Sometimes i tailor make a scene just for me. "I promise i'm never going to let anything happen to you ever again" "as a paladin or a barbarian" "both" is like. Such a scene just for me. And I think the ending is good too. "I'll take it. I'll take it all" just felt so. fitting. It's so him getting to hear himself say to porter "i'll take the thing with you that is broken and fucked and full of compromises even if it has to end". Sigh. Sometimes you're an english major and you agonize over being a good writer for like two decades and realize that you might not be as horrible as you think.

(For the record. i think if i were to rank what i've written for fantasy high from fav to least fave, i'd say IYWD, Biggest Lie, Stay / Leave, Who Can Blame a Girl, Almost, Tell Me How, and it feels weird to put Almost that low bc i do like it. Tbh i regret making it so short i think i could've pushed it further)

Anyway!!! This got long winded as hell. Thanks for the asks they were fun to do!

Send me Fic Writer Asks! / Here are the questions!

[claudiajcregg]

Tell Other People About Your WIPs

make a list of all your WIPs with a brief description of each and then people can ask you questions about them and then tag other people.

Tagged by both @onekisstotakewithme and @miabicicletta 💜💜💜 Thank you, guys <3 I don't know who to tag that hasn't been tagged already. Interested? Tag, you're it! :) (Please do know that there are no set sections. Pick whatever you want. I went the deranged route.)

I have an outdated WIP list, and many others unaccounted for. This is just a selection of stuff I could see myself posting or editing/retooling to write something new. I love talking about my WIPs, about as much as I hate being perceived because they are not remotely interesting. (I also love knowing which ones people are interested in! I have an incentive to work on them!) (Instead of snippets, part of my feedback loop is sending actual rough drafts to get a sense of whether it's worth working on more.)

Multichapters, different levels of completion.

S5 Pregnancy AU. My main WIP. Can you believe I’ve had this idea for a year… almost to the day? I’ve been stuck since November bc I don’t know how I want this one to end, beyond a birth. (As I’ve mentioned in the past, I feel like this has legs to become a fluffy universe. I have ideas! Timelines!) Gist of it: CJ gets pregnant circa Zooey's kidnapping. How does it change S5? It's less angsty than you think.

Campaign bars, aka campaign conversations sometimes happened at bars in the 1998 campaign. Fun stuff. I need to pick it right back.

What Once Was Ours or the IM AU (2021), aka IM ends with a breakup. Not a WIP. Not a UFO. A secret third thing. (“Finished” but not edited, and I’m doubtful people would be interested. Probably bc of some bittersweet ~memories~ attached to it. I mean, I shared a third of it to discord and people couldn’t care less, at least after a while. Now, better IM AUs are being posted these days; I'm not in a rush.) 33 chapters. 150k words. I do reread it every once in a while, and I cannot put it down. But its 'age' takes me aback. If things had been different, I'd have posted this in H2 2021/Q1 2022 (or even the planned Q2-3 2021). But alas.

The “Almost Ready, question mark” Category

Another SVD prompt meme claim: what if CJ has the crush first. The thing is, I tend to write her as having a relatively obvious crush on him at first until something makes her wise up. So this is just some ridiculous, post-first-meeting thoughts. Most of it was written in one sitting! It kinda fits with something in the campaign bars fic, too.

Post birth, hospital story: A couple of hours after their bb girl is born. Pure fluff. Recently reworked it to make it less wordy. Still failed, but it’s better focused now.

Many ficlets – the few I did post on Tumblr that haven’t been posted to the story I’m collecting them in, plus a couple more. I'm thinking the ice skating one, Jan 22, a few post-eps I wrote last year, etc.

Ambitious Projects I don't think are happening right away (or ever), but probably have a detailed outline somewhere

(I put this up instead of last, because the next category has faves, but it's also a long one.)

Danny is back a bit earlier on s7. Toby leaks (or tries to leak? I always wavered) the shuttle to him, as he and CJ are getting closer.

Simon lives. How does his relationship with CJ evolve post-honeymoon phase? What is it like when Danny returns?

You’ve got mail AU. This outline had two ways the climax could go. I had fun.

Epistolary collab (?) fic. Probably an X + 1 fic. The only one with nothing written; don’t rule out writing it individually at some point.

And because this is so long already (but not as long as it could be)… A few more under the cut – more "I just want to make sure I like them" and "this meme reminded me I meant to pick those back up." And they are still not all. (How do you summarize seven years of writing?? I've only posted 20-something of them, lol.)

“Almost Ready (but I feel like I want to make changes to them) (might just redo them altogether)”

Haunted by the Notion, 2007 edition. My beta Ruth suggested this when she edited the other story, and I wrote it around then. It’s another Christmas dinner at Filomena, and, eight years later, things are different. I feel like it hits expected beats, and is just missing some oomph. Maybe. (As much as I do like it, half tempted to make it 2009. Or later.)

Heaven’s here…: A interrupted proposal. I’ve written many proposals over the years, and I love toying with different ideas and setups. Danny takes the lead here, but I’ve been intrigued by the idea of having CJ do the final twist.

5 to 6 am 'me' time. Another story inspired by last year’s rewatch that I wrote right at the start of it (so Jan 2023?). It has five short parts with five different years of what CJ describes in the pilot as her “me time.” This is one when I think one per year would be fun, but I don’t want to repeat myself.

One bed, “sexy” edition. An AU to a sort of AU (one of the drabbles from this summer) and… it's what it says on the tin. The world does not need to read my attempts at smut. If I didn’t put it in the previous category, it’s because I am not sure that I want to post it. (All the previous attempts are locked somewhere; unfortunately, someone loves this one and noticed when I tried to do that, lol.)

First baby kick: I remember writing this while in grad school (so, late 2017? First half of 2018) but I lost it, along other fic, when my laptop had to be reset because I used Bear to write back then, but didn’t have sync across devices. I rewrote it, and I feel like it's not the same, but still. It's sweet! Includes: Danny talking to the baby, domestic fluff, and… baby kicks!

“This meme reminded me they exist and I love them, so don't be surprised if they are posted before anything in a previous category”

(Lbr, if I added something about them in this post at all, it’s because they sparked some memory.)

Mosaic broken hearts: CJ, circa S4, jealousy. Prompted by a former fandom friend, back in my productive era (first half of 2021; before that friend just ghosted me.)

I can’t believe I captured your heart (pancake breakfast, three words and eight letters). For a while there, I edited it so much but then I fell off. iirc, it was part of some morning-related prompts I saw around that I tried to fulfill in 2018? 2019? And they had like internal progression. But this one was the best of the 3-4, and I kept tweaking it.

Green light of forgiveness (IM-ish) — there are many other IM/IM-Tomorrow snippets I’ve written over the years. I’m not sure if this one makes much sense, but I liked it enough.

Distance — I recall liking this one! Might have to bump it up. CJ is in Africa, Danny is at the Farm and sulking because they left off on some sort of argument. There is some Danny-Abbey friendship goodness here. I even have a second file that is “Distance - shorter version (it’s not)”

Danny writes fiction, shows it to CJ during her pregnancy and she’s into it. Technically written. I would probably try to take another stab at it. Third time might be the charm?

San Andreo phone call/fallout from ID. I just had the idea of CJ reaching out once things calm down. This is one of those fics I’ve written a version of every year or so, but I think there was one I liked quite a bit.

Terrible taste in men — a run-in with an OC ex of CJ. It was so dumb.

Fka Impatience - actually beta’d three years ago (by that fandom friend I've mentioned twice before… actually, three times) and “done”. I just think I’d change so much about it these days. It started being something else but ended up being a CJ-Toby friendship story in which they have lunch and catch up. But I would want to rewrite most of it now, and not just because it’s from like… 2019 (but finished in 2021).

I forgot this one initially! he's passing by, rare as the comet in my sky - 2? 3? times CJ thinks she sees Danny somewhere, and one time she does. (Which tried to work in the 'I remember shunning you' line.) I even wrote some sort of sequel later! Probably useless.

I said I would post a lightning round with fics that are either also done but not ready for me to mention them, or just… not done at all. The length of this post and how much I've spent on it is embarrassing. To give a general overview: in line with the nonsense I've been mentioning, includes phone calls at the end of S7, also a few friendship-focused fics around that time, too; present-day stuff; anniversaries; Hollis fundraisers; weddings; many ficlets, introspective thoughts, a “yes day” fic that's super sweet but needs better dares, the third memoir idea (the original one!!!!) that I had three years ago… And those are mostly the ones I had preselected, lol.

If you're interested, I can screenshoot this part in the notes app if you message me!

Anyway, this is embarrassing, and the worst part is that it's not all. fml.

[itsjaywalkers]

Hello Laurie! How are you? How are your holidays going?

I'm the same person who messaged you 2/3 months ago about the fic that I was writing and being scared to post it because it's not my native language. I was wondering how your writing goes, like how do you edit? What do you struggle with the most? I know you said it's not your native language either, and I just wanted to know what slows you down the most? Because for me personally it's grammar, structure of the sentences and its punctionation. I always wonder if my commas are in the right place and if I used right marks, obviously the placement of it differs in every language. And do you have any tips for me? ANYWAYS i'm so sorry this is such a long question bahahhaha, also I've read your new Bartylily fic and I love it. I'm on my knees for them, can't wait to see what you got in store for them. Hihi have a good day! <3

hi darling!! i'm okay, doing some writing!! and my holiday is going great <3 i've been at the beach all week, swimming and reading and eating delicious food. i missed my parents and my sisters like crazy, so it's been very fun to get to spend so much time with them <333

oh, yes!! i remember you!! i hope that fic is going well, and that you'll decide to post it someday. i feel like i already told u this, but i'm sure it's lovely, and if deep down u wanna share it, u should be able to do so, fear be damned (im aware it's not that easy but . u get what i mean)

and my editing process is . very boring and very long . i usually just write the whole chapter out, exactly how i have it planned in my mind, without stopping to check for mistakes, or letting myself get distracted by . a paragraph or a line i don't like, all that can be fixed during the actual editing. once it's done, i try to give it a day?? to let it breathe a lil. and then i reread it all!! i go scene by scene, and sometimes it means just fixing the grammar of some sentences and deleting a random line here and there, and other times it means deleting a whole conversation, or rewriting an entire scene bc it's not working how it's supposed to. editing can take me from a couple of hours to actual days, so it's not a process i really enjoy </3 writing can be a pain, but it's when i get to be messier and have fun and not worry about the end result. editing means polishing and rereading until you grow sick of the story. it's necessary but it's not my fav part of the process, that's for sure

i don't think i'm that bothered by grammar, but it's mostly bc this is just fanfiction and i kinda just . have fun with the language?? sometimes i'm aware i'm not structuring a sentence the Proper way but it looks more beautiful my way, and it sounds nicer, so why would i change it?? not a single one of my uni profs is gonna be reading it anyway. but as someone who isn't an english native speaker either, i totally get u, bc i used to be very insecure about this, and i still am a bit sometimes. i had this fear that ppl were gonna be able to tell english isnt my first language at a first glance. but so what if they do?? theres nothing wrong with that, and bc im bilingual, i speak and write in english in a manner native speakers cant replicate, bc i see and understand their language differently. and i think thats lovely!!!

the thing i struggle the most with is descriptions?? i feel like im not detailed or accurate enough, and like i lack a lot of vocabulary. i do my best to fix it during editing but it never quite works i fear.. i also write ridiculously long sentences, bc i use way too many commas when i should be using periods. and i think that my dialogues are pretty good, but at the same time im always . concerned about characters sounding real enough yk?? since, again, english isn't my first language

and i don't know about tips darling. i keep saying this, but i feel like i'm not the best person to ask about this At All, bc i'm not that knowledgeable, or talented, or skillful. i can tell you to remember that at the end of the day this is fanfiction, and we're supposed to be having fun and being self-indulgent. try not to worry so much about grammar and proper sentence structure or putting commas in the right place. bend the language until it sounds pretty enough for you and a sentence rolls off the tongue the right way. who cares if it's not Correct or Proper. it's not meant to!!! also, don't edit right away, let the story or the chapter breathe for a bit, otherwise you're gonna hate the whole thing and believe it's a Mess. it's usually not!! you just need a break and to put some healthy distance so u can edit more honestly, less unbiased

don't apologise!! my answer was even longer SIGH i hope some of this was at least a little helpful <3 and thank u so much!! more ppl than i thought are reading and enjoying the bartylily fic, and it fills me with joy <3 next ch is coming VERY soon and i can't wait

wishing u the best and sending u all my love MWAH <333

[raedas]

hey i was just wondering how you figured out you were aro?? no pressure if you’re uncomfortable sharing of course ! but i’m kind of questioning and i thought maybe hearing other people’s experiences might help. and also i was in a relationship for almost a year so that’s probably somewhat significant and additionally complicating ahaha <333

hey anon!! first and foremost good luck with figuring everything out <33 i know at least for me, questioning can be a long and hard and typically ongoing process, but we'll make it through :] i'm gonna stick the rest of my answer beneath the read more bc im getting the sense im gonna go on for a bit FGDHLKSFAJ

one of the biggest things for me that i think is necessary to preface everything is that i've never really had an "oh" moment like some people talk about. there's never been a moment where i saw a label or a flag and was 100% sure i fit into that box, its more like... years worth of questioning and then the internal meter in my head slowly ticking over. like, when i was figuring out i was queer, i maybe started questioning in like... fifth grade you could say? but it started as more of a "oh im definitely not but like What if" and then gradually began to tick more and more towards "oh i think i might not be cishet" to eventually when i hit the... idk, 80% or 90% certainty mark it was more of a "fuck it, im queer" feeling. there's always going to be that bit of doubt for me, i think, and coming to terms with being aro was very similar for me in that regards

another thing is i was ALSO in a relationship for almost a year, and that's during the time when i was coming to terms with being aro/arospec, which im sure you can imagine was an Experience. i do think being in a relationship was the best thing for me trying to figure out i was aro though, bc i definitely got that sense of Wrongness of trying to think of myself as existing in a romantic relationship. like, when i thought of myself as having a romantic partner, it always felt a bit like i was playing at a part and acting like i had romantic feelings more than i actually did. of course that came with.. a lot of me trying to ignore my own feelings and feeling guilty about it up until i broke up with my now ex (this is like the funniest inside joke ever to us now dw) so that's where i was coming from w/ my experiences

i also began to realize that like, whenever i try to imagine myself in a romantic relationship, its always in some ambiguous future like 10 or so years down the line, which completely distances myself from the idea. i have no idea what a romantic relationship with someone would look like for me, it was just this idea of "yeah, someday in an ambiguous future ill have a romantic relationship with someone and we'll cook together and hug each other and have fun" until i realized that i don't actually want a romantic relationship, and also that... none of those things that i actually envisioned are exclusive to a romantic relationship. in my life ive had a grand total of 2 crushes, both of which were/are queerplatonic but also like... if i imagine having an Actual relationship its just stressful to me and not even really appealing, despite the fact that i have a crush on them.

one of the most important things im coming to terms is that its okay if im wrong, its okay if however many years down the line i find out that im actually entirely allo and fall in love with someone. like i said i dont know if ill ever be 100% confident in my own labels especially with the whole issue of "how do you prove a negative". for now, though, calling myself aro is something that makes me happy and feels, most of the time, accurate. another really important thing i think is that aromanticism is entirely a spectrum. you could be aromantic or arospec in a billion different ways*, or you could be none of them, and thats okay too <333 good luck with everything anon i hope hearing about my experiences helped a bit :]

[fromfiction]

would you say kin tropes (or commonalities between kins) are only a "for fun" kin thing? can those who kin spiritually have kin tropes? i told some friends recently that "i think the kins i connect to now are the ones most relevant to who i am as a person today bc my current life is triggering those memories. thats why my listed kins are similar to me but im sure i have some that arent and i even have some listed kins that are very different than me in a lot of ways" is this how you experience kinning?

First, an aside. We don’t use or like the terms “kins” (more appropriate terminology: kintypes) or kinning (more appropriate terminogy: being fictionkin) but we have discussed this in other posts, and the topic is best further discussed outside of the reply to this very good and interesting question.

When you say “tropes” I hear “common personality traits, events and experiences.”

In our experience it is extremely common for spiritual  fictionkin to have recurring “tropes” that repeat or echo throughout their various lifetimes and kintypes. Sometimes recognizing a “trope” common to your awakened kintypes can be the first step and starting place for questioning to determine if something is a kintype or not.

There are certain common threads I recognize as repeated events throughout my lives. I consider these repetitions from a very spiritual standpoint; repeated personality traits and common choices I make in each lifetime are a reassuring reminder of the continuity of self that lasts beyond incarnation.

Repeated incidents, meanwhile, things that seem to happen to me over and over again that I have no control over; those I understand to be a mark of my ‘fate’ in some way, or a kind of mark on my existence. 

As for what your friend says, that the kintypes that you connect to the most easily are the ones that are most relevant to your current life, and therefore trigger the most memories– I think there is a lot of merit in that line of thinking, from my personal experience.

For myself, the kintypes that have awakened most easily are the ones with experiences that echo intense experiences I have had in this life in some way, usually painful ones. Kintypes that don’t immediately spark that kind of connection are always harder to question, and harder to determine if they’re really a kintype or not.  You might spend a lot of time thinking ‘is that really me’ even if the answer is firmly ‘yes’, just because there is currently more spiritual ‘distance’ between that incarnation and this one.

So, in summary, yes, I think “kin tropes” are very much a thing, though I wouldn’t call them that. I think it’s easy, and important, to recognize the patterns, cycles, and consistency in our journey through our lifetimes.

[lowkeychenle]

see my sea is my comfort fic fr like i love the trope of mc being anti romance due to prior experiences and love interest changes the fact ,, i enjoy them cos i relate to it n then the other reason is bc its chenle ?? theres a lack of GOOOOD written works for him (or any written works for that matter) (i mean like aside from like 7drm headcanons n reactions, theres not tew many chenle x reader in comparison to the other dreamies)

so the fact that your blog is enriched w chenle works = immediate follow

+ oh and ur chenle smut is so good too?? = post notifs on! literally digging thru the chenle smut tag is sooo 😐😐 so i can only rely on u my friend 😔 thank u 4 ur service<3

i would like to reiterate how much i love ur jaemle series as a fellow jaemle stan..... pretty sure i sent u an ask about it and your guidelines surrounding it but idk if i ever sent it bc i was half asleep (no like actually frl lmao) or if tumblr ate my ask

i also was the anon who asked ab emoji anons n oh i def would love to (/gen) but idk how much i'd be interacting cos im in a bit of a mental rut atm so my social interaction is looowww. still supporting my fav blogs tho no worries, w rbs opposed to asks :<

all that being said , i was js curious ab ur current wips if u have any or if ur main focus is on 'is it over now' ? was wondering what we could expect from u is all, no pressure whatsoever!

HIIII <3 omg thank you for reading my work and loving it and also following me that's so cute :')

I've received a couple asks about the Jaemle series and I do plan on continuing it, I'm just not sure when lollll. I have a bunch of misc. smut ideas I'll be writing at some point. These next few months are super busy for me as I'm hoping to graduate in August this year, but that means I, unfortunately, do not have much writing time.

I hope you feel better soon for real :( mental ruts are the WORST I was just in one myself so make sure you take care of yourself <3 if you ever just want to chat, you're more than welcome to send me a message :)

Some of my current wips include:

Is It Over Now? - Chenle x Reader / Jisung x Reader! Based off of the song of the same name by Taylor Swift. This one is crazy and I'm still kinda questioning myself on how to end it (because I'm a chenle slut but how do you like...pivot on bad behavior idk)

Somewhere Else - ??? x Reader; lol I'm thinking Mark or Jaemin for this one. They seem to fit the picture in my head more than Chenle for this one unfortunately. Basically just an achingly fluffy piece with some smut in it lol

Stars Aligned - Chenle x Reader; basically Mastermind by Taylor Swift but he for sure knows the whole time and when the relationship becomes public (ex. gets exposed), things start to switch up

Several miscellaneous smuts that just pop into my head randomly. I have like 10 docs of just random smut scenes I haven't completed yet LOL

And then, of course, I have some text au reqs in my inbox I'm working on and my new smau titled Musically Inclined. That one is fun lol.

[watatsumiis]

OFBFKDODBSJK Hello General!! I often see u in my notifs but until now I never knew how to interact with u

But the ask game! I wanna know everything but I don't wanna spam u sooooo I have 4 emojis, for every f/o please 🥹❤️

😍: Name your three favorite things about your f/o

😘: What’s your f/o’s favorite thing about YOU?

💤: Do you sleep together? If so, describe your sleeping positions and patterns (E.g. who steals the blankets, are either of you insomniacs, etc.)

💋: Where are your favorite places to kiss your f/o/where are their favorite places to kiss you?

Aaaaaand!

Do you have shipnames?

WAAAH HI THERE!!! i see you on my dash a lot and im always like. (looks shyly and waves at u from afar. but no closer bc im shy).

TUMBLES AROUND ON THE FLOOR EXCITEDLY. THANK YOU SO MUCH PLEASE NEVER WORRY ABOUT SPAMMING ME :D

ramblies below the cut ehe <3

😍: Name your three favorite things about your f/o

Ayato - His smug vibes, his voice, HIS LITTLE BEAUTY MARK <3 though also the fact he has so much experience in being in charge and making decisions is also very <3 to me. i hate making decisions

Capitano - mm,,,,, big,,,,, strongk,,,, nice,,,, (most of the things i actually like about him are Not Canon so im not sure whether or not to count them but if we are its his face (mm prety), his big hands (for holding) and his protective instinct asjkdf)

Zhongli - Dragon guy ,,,, his wide array of knowledge about lots of things, his voice

Diavolo - dragon guy (to me),, his optimism, his himbo tendencies

Lucifer - same as ayato -- the fact he is good at making decisions and taking the lead, his wiiiiings <3, his grey streaks (sob)

😘: What’s your f/o’s favorite thing about YOU?

i felt so narcissistic typing all of this section out sjkdhfkjd

Ayato - my willingless to actually sit down and listen to him talk about things that may not be inherently relevant or useful !

Capitano - maybe that i try to see others for more than what they are on a surface level and give people the benefit of the doubt when trying to hear their side ?

Zhongli - possibly my curiosity ? i come up with a lot of random questions that others may find silly or not question in the first place (my google history is such a mess because of it) and i think hed have fun just going into random tangents and infodumps because of my questions, and id love to listen <3

Diavolo - my ability to help reel him in when he's being unrealistic/making questionable snap judgements or being Too Optimistic(tm)

Lucifer - probably similar to ayato in that ill always listen to him no matter what - and that i tend to behave myself (for the most part. maybe)

💤: Do you sleep together? If so, describe your sleeping positions and patterns (E.g. who steals the blankets, are either of you insomniacs, etc.)

Ayato - often up super late into the night doing paperwork, though id imagine he finds a way to do some of them in bed, so we'll often end up with him sitting up, leaning against the headboard while im falling asleep next to him on my side with my back pressed up against his leg. id definitely hog the blankets because hed have these fancy sheets that barely keep out the cold. he just sighs and lets it happen. we wear cute matching pyjamas though so its ok <3 though when we're both asleep i imagine we end up spooning (hes big spoon OBVI)

Capitano - he probably pulls a lot of late nights for fatui stuff or whatever but i always try to stay awake to wait for him to get home bc im worried but end up falling asleep on the couch. he just wordlessly carries me to bed. we sleep facing each other and he has one arm draped over me while i curl up real small <3 though also the mental image of me trying to be the big spoon/jetpack is very very funny and would totally happen. oh my god i bet he snores SO loud though. and is really easy to accidentally wake up. if you drop something he jumps out of bed in a fighting stance kjhsjdkf

Zhongli - sleeps like a rock (ha). he basically just plonks down in the middle of the bed on his back, hands resting on his stomach like a mf corpse and leaves me to work around him. like he barely stirs even if i climb all over him. hes just like another pillow on the bed. his bedding is fancy but in a different way to ayato because theyre actually really really nice quality and soo comfy cozy. id probably end up laying on top of him, face-down with my head on his chest more often than not. mattress 2.0

Diavolo - he starfishes out across the middle of the bed in his full demon form, hes a blanket hog, he snores and talks in his sleep. probably sleeps in only boxers. he lets me lay on his wings and curl up close to him. he gets really super clingy at night though so sometimes itd be very hard for me to sleep much. he'll wake up from like a dead sleep and whine if i tried to move away to get comfy. we also have our own separate sets of blankets otherwise he'll leave me shivering at 2am curled up on the edge of the bed as he smacks me with his tail (I KNOW HE DOESNT CANONLY HAVE ONE LET ME DREAM)

Lucifer - We probably both fall asleep separately (or just doing the bare minimum of touches, holding hands or legs entangled a little) but tend to gravitate towards one another during the night. im a bit of a blanket hog but hes fine with it. he doesnt often sleep in his demon form or else i end up all night playing with his wings. soft. hehe. he also stays up very late but if i come to his study with a pathetic enough set of puppy dog eyes he'll cave and come to bed. and carry me there if im being lazy. hehe.

💋: Where are your favorite places to kiss your f/o/where are their favorite places to kiss you?

Ayato - Along his jaw and on his beauty mark!! but also his hands and forearms. he also gets a lot of nibbles im like a little rat <3 He gives a lot of ear, jaw and neck kisses.

Capitano - His face, if he has it exposed, is the number one target here I think. I wanna give him so many lil kissies <3. I'd imagine he likes giving forehead and top of the head kisses.

Zhongli - Listen. let me have my headcanons of a slightly more monstrous zhongli with scales and stuff. i like to imagine he has little scale-like markings/patches in soft/exposed parts (tummy, top of hands, that kinda thing) and i would give those spots many kisses. but also the tip of his nose because hed always do a cutely shocked look when i do. his favourite spot to smooch ? hands and shoulders i think, but also id imagine he likes giving little jaw kisses and collarbone kisses if theyre available <3

Diavolo - Cheeks and face!! but also shoulders and wings. and horns. and tummy. ehe. i think hed get all smiley and blushy and adorable when he's receiving smooches.

his favourite spot TO smooch requires a little explanation. the main sona of mine that i ship with him is an angel from the celestial realm, who has these sort of 'halo markings' all across his body (wrists, ankles, thighs, upper arms, tips of ears) and a few little teardrop-shaped markings on his cheeks that dia really likes to give little kissies to, as well as on his back right between his wings!! :D

Lucifer - he gets forehead kisses. and kisses next to his eyes and on his temples. he also gets a lot of nibbles on the wrist, knuckles and neck. i have this very vivid mental image of swooping in while hes doing boring work and smooching him until he stops frowning so much. its very cute. I think he'd like kissing the top of my head and pressing his face into my hair, but i think his favourite would be any pulse points, especially wrist and neck <3

Ship names

My name doesn't really go well with most of my favs (sobbing emoji) the only ship name im really happy with is 'Rowavolo' (which is me x Diavolo). I guess i could add 'Ro' to the end of Ayato or Capitano but it doesn't sound Right to me. comes off the tongue weird. so alas no ship names :<

[gabichive]

who would you set up your mutuals on a blind date with and why 🌟

oh it's my turn??

@cyatual and yoojun! i would love to see ash try to survive a blind date with the biggest gremlin alive!! I would get myself a job at whatever place they go just so i can witness it

@jminwook and muzin! surprise it's not minwook :0 firstly it's bc i think minuk would be a little uncomfy and i don't want to make him or bie go thru that! Second im #1 biezinist and i think both of them are so cute and beloved and would be shy but once they get over it they would talk so excitedly itd be adorable

@winxys and taeyeob! But he has short brown hair and he's using a dude outfit and he's wearing glasses and he's being such a guy to her but he'd also be the biggest goofiest silliest and paula would just 🥰🥰🥰🥰 the entire time

@song-mingi and san <3 since iri is soooooo normal about him I'd really love to see how they would interact! also bc san seems very lovely and open to go on a blind date hehe (maybe limji too but that would be obvious)

@parksunghoons and beomgyu! but it would be a friendly date and xixi would ask him a million questions and keep his ass entertained with her quick wits and then they would become bffs

@yeonjuins and mark! another surprise sorry i just really associate him w u! they would have a v deep canadian talk full of canadian slang and no one would understand a thing <3

@berryjaellie and hyuk! I just think it would be lovely and i think they could have great conversations about the weather or something!

@kyubins and hyunjae ❤️❤️❤️ since rosie is so not affected by him at all I'm sure they could spend some nice friendly time together that would not either end up in death or rosie proposing marriage

[zablife]

Lee my dear! 🔮 we’re celebrating 10 years of Peaky Blinders on Sept. 12 so I’ve been thinking of throwing around a little “random questions”

If Jack asked you to tell him his fortune, what would you reveal to him?

Im so so grateful I crossed paths with you thanks to this incredible series and the fanfic world!

Awww, Mar! I'm so grateful to have met you, darling! You're such a kind soul and an amazingly talented writer. I love the asks you've been sending. It's funny bc I was thinking of this myself to mark the anniversary. (Great minds! 🥰)

So Jack's fortune...are we sure he wants to know? 😬 🤭 Bc I'm not as certain about his bright future as he seems to be. (I see only tragedy tbh, but perhaps it's the similarities to Kennedy, idk.) However, I might not have to tell him bc I see him asking for a reading as a way of flirting and not quite paying attention. He would sit at the table with that devilish grin and ask, "Can you tell me if my future wife is in the room?"

Of course, he's infuriatingly charming so you play along with a bit of teasing, "future ex-wife," you retort.

"Then let me take you to dinner and apologize," he says, reaching for your hand. "I'm sure we can work it out though. Can't we, doll?" he asks with a wink.

[certified-scoundrel]

Plant Abuse: yay or nay?

an ongoing ‘scientific’ ‘study’ inspired by the hit book and tv series, Good Omens

WARNING: i may sound like an absolute wanker in this, as all of my knowledge of plant care, the scientific method, and other such things are based entirely on 3 things: my 9.5th grade level biology skills (.5 bc did some self studying for funsies), my 9th grade level chemistry skills (i took chem in 10th grade, im just not very good at it), and a fuck ton of googling.

yeah this post is gonna be a beast, so feel free to scroll to the end for a tldr (you will miss out on all of my absolutely hilarious jokes)

ever since i watched Good Omens, i was really curious as to whether or not yellingtalking to plants would actually help them grow. when i took to researching this, the articles were all over the place. one article would say ‘no, talking to your plants has no affect on them’; another article would say ‘yes, but womens voices are more affective than mens’; the article after that would say ‘yes, but you’d have to talk to your plant for hours for the vibrations to have any affect on them’. so, i decided to throw all common sense reminding me good omens is a fantasy story out the window and try this for myself.

now, im probably one of the literal worst people to try this out for many many reasons. one key issue is that i am extremely unintimidating. crowley scaring his plants into growing would definitely be a lot less affective if he was a 5’7 lanky teenager with joint problems. another, albeit more realistic reason, is my innate ability to fuck things up in the most random way possible. im not concerned about forgetting to water the plants or something like that, im concerned about somehow getting the plants so upset with me that they start a plant revolution and subsequent overthrow of my bedroom. obviously im being a bit hyperbolic, but its honestly just a bit. im like the main characters in a nickelodeon sitcom whos plans always go to shit even after they explain them aloud to each other.

however, despite all signs pointing me to put down my plant mister and finish my summer reading, i know what i was put on this earth to do: to be the reason there are ‘do not attempt this at home’ warnings on tv show’ and ‘for external use only’ labels on shampoo bottles. it is in my blood to beat the odds, to do things im extremely unqualified for, and to mirror the (sometimes questionable) things my favorite fictional characters do. It is time to metaphorically drink the apple-scented shampoo, and to finally settle this question.

now it is time to plan my experiment.

(most experiments have some sort of hypothesis, but im not like most scientists (im not one) so im skipping that. ill be leaving the hypothesizing up to you guys.)

once i get paid, im going to go to the nearest garden center to me and buy 3 matching houseplants and label them Plant A, Plant B, and Plant C. not sure what plants ill get, probably whichever ones are cheapest and the fastest growers, however once i have them i will do as much research as i can into how to care for them properly to avoid as many outside factors as possible. each individual plant will be placed in a separate room in my house, and treated nearly identically. I will do my best to keep things like water levels, sunlight levels, and things of that nature as constant variables. obviously, the independent variable will be how i treat the plants

~emotionally~

ill be completely silent when watering Plant A (Control). when i water the other the other two plants, ill spend a few minutes chatting with each plant. with Plant B, ill be kind to it, praise it, and other things of that nature; with Plant C, ill ridicule it, insult it, and so on. if the plants dont require daily watering (which i hope they wont), ill still pop in to talk to plants B and C every day. ill repeat this for however long i feel like, but at the end of every week ill take a picture of the plants to mark their growth and current state of wellness.

at this point, i can hear all of you saying ‘what the hell is wrong with this kid’. to that, i say: ‘that is a real loaded question, and im not sure you actually want an answer.’ i get it, just know. is this a stupid idea? yeah. is it the stupidest idea ive had? not by a long shot (see: drinking shampoo ‘joke’ referenced earlier)

TLDR: im going to buy 3 houseplants, keep one as a control, yell at one, and be nice to the other. every week ill take a picture of the plants to track their growth, and at the end ill compare all the photos to see how talking/yelling at your plants can affect their growth.

[lawboyao3]

I’m loving your series “Acne, Death, and Other Teen Calamities” so much so that I came here to tell you how much I’m enjoying it so far. Your writing is so eloquent and descriptive, and I really appreciate how in-depth you go when analyzing and writing about Josuke and Okuyasu’s individual behaviors and struggles. I relate a lot to the way you’ve written them and I think it’s fascinating how accurately you’ve been able to portray aspects of trauma, dissociation, and self-destruction (unfortunately I myself a victim to all of the above, but it’s neither here nor there.) Anyways, you provide fantastic representation to these issues and I’m so happy to finally have a piece of media that I can relate to so well; a piece of media that truly encompasses how complex the process of coming to terms with trauma is. I’ve been where Josuke and Okuyasu have been and all I wanna do is give both of them a big ol’ hug.

Please take your time when writing this story and don’t burn yourself out. You’re doing wonderful, thank you for investing so much of your time into this. I’m excited for the next chapter but again, take as much time as you need.

(Also this might be an issue of my reading comprehension, and not at all an issue with your writing but if it’s not too much to ask I think myself and others would appreciate a chapter summary and a brief description of what happened throughout each chapter just to be sure we’re following this wonderful story accurately :) )

aw thank u so much this is so kind <333333 i’m really glad you’ve been enjoying it so much. i worry abt writing the characters well so im really glad u think theyre good. thank u so much for reading and supporting me, ill do my best with the rest of the story

with the chapter summary, u mean posting one on here right? i can try do that. ill put it below the cut in case it’s long

ch1- okuyasu and josuke are both sent to the counselor. for okuyasu it’s bc he attacked his teacher after she picked on him for doing badly in class. for josuke it’s just some very petty things, seeming like his teacher has a grudge against him. in okuyasu’s meeting, youko thinks he’s just a typical delinquent but then realises she’s misjudging him. in josuke’s meeting, some issues such as his grandpa’s death and his family relations are touched on, but youko ends up thinking he’s totally fine. there’s also a flashback showing that josuke has feelings for okuyasu that he doesn’t want to acknowledge.

ch2- the school is evacuated due to an explosion. okuyasu and josuke are found to be missing. this is the day shigechi is killed. they searched for him and then left the school to report to jotaro. when they return, a teacher accuses them of being behind the explosion. youko steps in and stops the boys from getting in trouble. shigechi is reported missing and the boys are having trouble coping with it. youko has another meeting with okuyasu, where she offers to help him improve his grades. she asks about his home life and becomes worried about what he tells her. okuyasu is given tests to do at home to check his knowledge levels.

ch3- josuke meets with youko. he was reported for not paying attention in class. a flashback shows that he’s struggling due to trauma, and he started dissociating in class. he doesn’t tell youko anything. youko asks a little about his family, and then realises she’s heard of him before in negative gossip that spread about him and his mother. she wonders if she would still think of him the same if she’d recognised him from the start. youko’s questions get under josuke’s skin and his act slips, but she doesnt question him on it bc she doesnt think he’s a liar. in the next scene okuyasu goes home and tries to complete his tests, and becomes very anxious. youko marks his tests the next day, and another teacher discourages her from helping okuyasu because he needs too much support. youko goes over okuyasu’s test results with him, and nearly leaves him to just study on his own, but decides to try and help him even if the other teachers won’t help too.

ch4- starts directly after the end of the sheer heart attack arc. as everyone heads home from aya’s salon, josuke struggles to cope with what he’s just experienced and starts dissociating. when he gets home he has a breakdown, there is some discussion of his guilt and sense of responsibility to protect everyone. okuyasu goes home and is feeling badly too, but pushes it aside to look after his father. even tho he’s kind to his dad, he’s still scared of him. josuke visits okuyasu in the middle of the night, seeking comfort, and they fall asleep together. okuyasu has a nightmare/childhood memory about his dad, and wakes up to josuke comforting him. he misreads the atmosphere and kisses josuke, and josuke panics, says they should forget it ever happened, and leaves. the next morning, tomoko helps josuke do his hair and tries to ask if he’s ok, but he doesn’t confide in her. then him, koichi and okuyasu head to school together, and when they pass aya’s salon, they’re all deeply upset. josuke tries to push down his feelings.

ch5- youko finds okuyasu, who is skipping class and seems upset. she talks with him, and tries to ask him about his family, but okuyasu is worried about her reporting his living situation and refuses to talk to her. youko realises that something must be very wrong, but she can’t help. the next scene is actually set before the first one. another teacher talks to youko, concerned about how much she’s defending josuke. he tells her about how violent josuke was in middle school, and how he avoided getting in trouble by lying. youko gets angry at him and rejects what he’s saying. meanwhile josuke is skipping class due to bad mental health. koichi and okuyasu have been searching for him, worried something bad has happened, and koichi finds him. josuke acts fine as usual. after school, he goes to meet with youko. she feels that he’s acting off and starts to doubt him. when she confronts him, he gets angry but manages to keep it down until he leaves the meeting. he starts losing his shit in front of okuyasu, but okuyasu calms him down. later, youko tries to contact okuyasu’s household to find info about his living situation, but she can’t find anything. as she’s heading home, she worries that she won’t be able to help the boys anymore. then she gets shot with the stand arrow and passes out

[bathroomtrapped]

you will probably murder me in a painful way for saying this (based on the anger you leashed out in the previous asks) but saw 1 should be a stand alone film all along. even leigh&james who wrote the first 3 films think like this because theyre not involved in making the rest 7(?) films.

im not sure what u mean by anger in the last one? i think i kind of just answered their question about the screenplay as thoroughly as i could. who knows im a know-it-all whos dogshit with tone so its entirely possible. the first, sure i see it. i think its p obvious by my acc that im passionate about saw lol. i could see the whole 'the idea of disagreeing w this statement is insane' or 'i have eyes' are a bit rude! but also consider, i exaggerate to prove a point and be a little silly. a little joke, even.

honestly im not sure why im being asked these questions? dont get me wrong, i definitely enjoy them. clearly, given how long my responses are. im not an authority on saw, but i AM someone who thinks hes right abt everything so i do have a lot of things to say about it. i never claimed to be polite or personable, which is why i tend not to post my opinions unprompted. not everyone agrees with me and i have some pretty controversial opinions but different opinions rarely bother me. though, mark x amanda is just kind of strange?

i know a few ppl who agree that the mark saga was not... the best. and people are upset that leighs wishes were ignored in order to continue making sequels. i know he wasnt too happy abt the extra tape and stuff, which makes sense bc this is their franchise, but if they were not happy with it... im not sure why they bankrolled the rest? theyre producers on all of them after the first iirc. leigh might not like hoffman, his bastard child, but he seems content with us enjoying it so thats fine by me. if they truly hated it, i dont think theyd attach their names to it. that just looks like an endorsement. i think theyre just content with us enjoying it, leighs never seen them and probably never will but that doesnt mean he thinks we shouldnt see them either

i think a lot of horror would benefit if people were able to do things like this with franchises after people are done with them. theyre not always for everyone but i think a lot of people are fond of horror sequels. theyre just kind of a genre staple and i like what the rest of the films contributed to the lore. imagine if every horror franchise had a more open patent, like great gatsby? i think itd allow for more creativity. horror as a genre has so much world building bc it has to justify sooo much suspension of disbelief which means theres usually a lot to work with! imagine michael myers as a free character. id love to see what other writers think of his whole "fear personified" thing. if we allow more leeway with horror and less criticism at its imperfection, i think ppld enjoy it more. theyre cunt, theyre camp, and theyre fun and i consider myself a guy who likes fun

my favorite saw film when i first got into it was saw v for about a month and a half. its basically been a year since then and i would sacrifice the other films in a heartbeat for saw 2004, but i think theyre neat

[just-some-random-blogger]

part 2 for the hottie-cutie! actually we dont use the percentage system in ig all the post-ussr countries (mb not the more european ones but im not sure). but ig 70% is just average here? ig its barely the B(?), in our system its 4/5. or ig 0-50% is like 2/5 (bc its forbidden to give 1/5 *clown emoji*), 50-70 or 75 is prob 3/5, and 90-100 is the highest mark. dk if its stupid of us but yes. id really not say that all russian students are very smart. but now i think that i didnt even knew filipino is based on tagalog... and that a lot of people are really arrogant bitches that would fight till the blood spills even if theyre wrong... but yeah not to be a hater or anything but... i still remember that trend on tiktok where american teens were like 'give me antidepressants and coke and imma explode russia in a sec' and then they cant find the hugest fucking country on the map... and im not even mentioning how they feel like their starbucks can help these sweet summer children to like... conquer, riot, attack... 'YOURE SAYING WHAT I LEARNED IN SCHOOL IN THE FUCKING PHILIPPINES IS WRONG AND THEY WERE LIKE YES' arrogant bitches TT 'i forgive them' its ok id hate them for you. 'that was a long rant' and i love every letter. im so happy for you! you seem so passionate about the sandman, its cute. delightful to read youre happy! and really delightful to see someone being so happy about something so... simple? just being happy. this world indeed needs some kindness. im so happy for your excitement TT take all the time you need, your happiness is the priority!! and gjdd as i was thinking about it, a recalled that in the very beginning of that your fic with daemon x niece reader where she doesnt need him, i felt SO strong about it being like... a half of that daemon idea i teased you... so like yeah. im waiting. but not asking you to speed up!! driving fast is dangerous, children. its a well-deserved rest (in a way). hope youll spend it great. 'just cos ur in the bible doesnt mean ur a saint' i know?? but HFJSDJS it sounds so... like a wity line from this stupid films with the worst, the most dangerous, the filthiest mafia boss and like... just y/n... yeah thats it. and in the night theyre making out and things are getting hotter and shes like omg no i need to finish reading the bible and he answers her with this WITTY line. sorry. just my association. never intended it to sound bad. 'my teacher was nice and me and my friends were nerds' ahajsj were so similar TT like mother like cat TT the only exception i was usually the one who read a book and told about its plot to others but still was the one to answer most of the questions. 'Under my Invisible Umbrella by Laurel Flores Fantauzzo. it’s a personal essay' omgomg it sounds interesting. like.. those books that are written by authors who lived in the country who started a war. SORRY for this comparison but for me it sounds like it. like smn whos seen as an enemy but there he is. its always fascinating to see yourself in a character/a book so im kinda.. glad for you. considering all it sounds strange but feeling a book is the experience to feel. 'ANYWAY im hot. (:' well true. thanks for the tiktok TT you really didnt need to do this but i appreciate your efforts sm TT thank you TT and yeeeah aemonds so funny TT and this guy is so accurately fanny TT yesterday (or the day before yesterday yes thats it) all my classmates and the other parallel class made that ver deputy SO angry *clown emoji* it was the experience to go through.. actually its not an uncommon thing bc i remember no day when she didnt scream at smn. but plugging the equipment? sounds like a good revenge. omg im so eager to know about the works of your national hero! im eager to learn anything youre willing to tell me! so i always wait for you, hottie-cutie! have a nice day/night! good luck with the classes or whatever plans you have! love you! take care<з

HELLO

im so annoyed with myself because i was almost done with answering you then i pressed cntl z and everything disappeared fml

now im going to be sad the entire time i type this fuck off tumblr why are you so glitchy

actually we dont use the percentage system in ig all the post-ussr countries (mb not the more european ones but im not sure). but ig 70% is just average here? ig its barely the B(?), in our system its 4/5. or ig 0-50% is like 2/5 (bc its forbidden to give 1/5 *clown emoji*), 50-70 or 75 is prob 3/5, and 90-100 is the highest mark. dk if its stupid of us but yes. id really not say that all russian students are very smart.

T_T rip T_T HAHAAH wait its still so funny to me that 70 is average i gasped when i read this the first time T_T asian countries be like that ig HAHHAHH. i mean there are A LOT OF DUMB FILIPINOS TOO SO /: its fine theres a bit of dumb in the world but its so weird to me that our grades are so high standard. /: asians HAHAHA

but now i think that i didnt even knew filipino is based on tagalog... and that a lot of people are really arrogant bitches that would fight till the blood spills even if theyre wrong...

well now you know. people who are overconfident are airheaded /:

but yeah not to be a hater or anything but... i still remember that trend on tiktok where american teens were like 'give me antidepressants and coke and imma explode russia in a sec' and then they cant find the hugest fucking country on the map...

STILL AS DISTURBING AS WHEN I REPLIED TO THIS THE FIRST TIME T_T these kids (boys especially) need to stop glorifying war i cant believe this was a trend T_T also the map thing is so true and i suck at geography but i could at least point to russia come one

also T_T although im annoyed i have to type this all over again, did you know russia is bigger than pluto. i love pluto lets talk about pluto more next time when im not frustrated with myself for fundamentally deleting my entire reply T_T

and im not even mentioning how they feel like their starbucks can help these sweet summer children to like... conquer, riot, attack...

L war this is why feminism is important, little boys think war is the only thing that is cool enough to be their hobby because its violent T_T

'YOURE SAYING WHAT I LEARNED IN SCHOOL IN THE FUCKING PHILIPPINES IS WRONG AND THEY WERE LIKE YES' arrogant bitches TT 'i forgive them' its ok id hate them for you.

DONT HATE ANYONE FOR ME T_T NEVER DO THAT FOR ANYONE

'that was a long rant' and i love every letter.

im so happy for you! you seem so passionate about the sandman, its cute. delightful to read youre happy! and really delightful to see someone being so happy about something so... simple? just being happy. this world indeed needs some kindness. im so happy for your excitement TT take all the time you need, your happiness is the priority!!

i did a whole rant about sandman but T_T next time. I REALLY WAS SO SUPER EXCITED ABOUT WHAT I WAS TELLING YOU AND I WANT TO TELL YOU BUT IM SO SLEEPY AND I DONT WANT TO PUT OFF REPLYING TO YOUR P2 T_T anyway i actually returned the books i borrowed the next day (which was yesterday) without reading them because my mom said it was too dark and i agree so i did BUT LSHAH I WENT TO THE LIBRARY TODAY AFTER CLASS AND READ THE MEGABIG ENCYLOPEDIA HARDBOUND SANDMAN COMIC with like 10 issues in it (which had everything in the series) AND I LOVED IT SO MUCH IT MADE ME LOVE DREAM SO MUCH MORE T_T

and gjdd as i was thinking about it, a recalled that in the very beginning of that your fic with daemon x niece reader where she doesnt need him, i felt SO strong about it being like... a half of that daemon idea i teased you... so like yeah. im waiting. but not asking you to speed up!! driving fast is dangerous, children. its a well-deserved rest (in a way). hope youll spend it great.

tell me about your daemon fic now IM SO CURIOUS NOW also as i said i zoomed read (and finished) that mega big comic book so im instead going to be writing sandman fics HAHAHH. i hope you liked my daemon x niece fic. i was surprised a lot of people seem to like it

'just cos ur in the bible doesnt mean ur a saint' i know?? but HFJSDJS it sounds so... like a wity line from this stupid films with the worst, the most dangerous, the filthiest mafia boss and like... just y/n... yeah thats it. and in the night theyre making out and things are getting hotter and shes like omg no i need to finish reading the bible and he answers her with this WITTY line. sorry. just my association. never intended it to sound bad.

HAAHH this doesnt sound bad it so funny actually. also I LOVE THIS CONCEPT i love me a good dirty mafia boss [quietly writes this idea down in my head]

'my teacher was nice and me and my friends were nerds' ahajsj were so similar TT like mother like cat TT the only exception i was usually the one who read a book and told about its plot to others but still was the one to answer most of the questions.

#twinlife u like me for real

'Under my Invisible Umbrella by Laurel Flores Fantauzzo. it’s a personal essay' omgomg it sounds interesting. like.. those books that are written by authors who lived in the country who started a war.

HAHAHHAHAAHHAA

SORRY for this comparison but for me it sounds like it.

HAHAHHAHAHA

like smn whos seen as an enemy but there he is. its always fascinating to see yourself in a character/a book so im kinda.. glad for you. considering all it sounds strange but feeling a book is the experience to feel.

i get what you mean. its fine dont apologize. and yes it is so very nice to see yourself portrayed in media

'ANYWAY im hot. (:' well true.

<3

thanks for the tiktok TT you really didnt need to do this but i appreciate your efforts sm TT thank you TT and yeeeah aemonds so funny TT and this guy is so accurately fanny TT

AT LEAST YOU SAW and found it funny <3

yesterday (or the day before yesterday yes thats it) all my classmates and the other parallel class made that ver deputy SO angry *clown emoji* it was the experience to go through.. actually its not an uncommon thing bc i remember no day when she didnt scream at smn.

T_T imagine living in russia and still being hotheaded. chill /:

but plugging the equipment? sounds like a good revenge.

T_T REAL HAHAHH

omg im so eager to know about the works of your national hero! im eager to learn anything youre willing to tell me!

T_T I dont mean to be that person but im too tired to go on FUCK TUMBLR I HAD A WHOLEASS ESSAY ABOUT PLUTO AND AN ANALYSIS ABOUT SANDMAN CHARACTERS AND I WAS TALKING ABOUT OUR NATIONAL HERO JOSE RIZAL but now its gone and i want to sleep next time baby i wont cntrl z it T_T

so i always wait for you, hottie-cutie!

thank you my love <3

have a nice day/night! good luck with the classes or whatever plans you have! love you! take care<з

good night baby <3 i hope you have a wonderful day <3 im going to sleep now

xxx