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alotofteez · 3 years

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Ghosted | Chapter 3

Series: ⇢ Pairing: San x fem!Reader ⇢ Genre: Angst, fluff, and a bit of smut ⇢ Trigger Warnings: depression, death, suicide ⇢ Synopsis: An apartment close to campus with a lowered price of rent was something you couldn’t pass up. But little did you know you would have a roommate who won’t leave you alone and breaks things he can’t pay for.

Chapter 3: ⇢ Warnings: language, mentions of medication, creepy/scary bc boo! ⇢ Word Count: 1,788

It has been a few days since you have seen the man. You keep looking over your shoulder as if someone is after you. Every little movement around you freaks you out, paranoia getting the best of you. There’s a small sprout of hope that he was just a hallucination from exhaustion.

The dreams, however, continue, each ending the same way with you desperately trying to save the man in your mind. This has caused you to sleep restlessly to keep yourself from going too unconscious to dream. Coffee is the only thing keeping you awake.

As you unpack a small box of miscellaneous bedroom things, a few orange bottles catch your eye. You pick them up with a sigh, reading over the labels you have seen a million times before. The inevitable reliance on the medication still annoys you, and you toss the bottles in the trashcan next to your desk.

A shower sounds like a calming idea. Throwing a towel and washcloth over the curtain rod, you queue up your favorite playlist on your phone before stepping under the warm spray of water.

You hum along with the song as you mindlessly cleanse yourself. Just before the first chorus of the song, it stops. You’re confused and grab your phone off the back of the toilet. The music app has been closed out. Writing it off as the app crashing, you resume the music. Your shower continues along with the restart of the song… but it stops again around the same part. Frustrated, you relaunch the music app and slam your phone on the toilet, completely over the stupid app.

You sing the lyrics to calm yourself down. As the song goes past the first chorus, you feel relieved. You lose yourself in the song, actually beginning to enjoy it. Right before the last verse ends, the music stops.

“Fuck me,” you burst out of anger, not bothering to mess with your phone again.

But the silence is taunting, you need your mind occupied. Shower thoughts have led to other things before, and right now you feel especially vulnerable. Therefore, you sing to yourself that one love song you really like and know all the words to, even the instrument parts. As you sigh and lean over to scrub down your legs, you’re met with a familiar voice carrying on the song. At that moment, you decide your shower is over and rinse off as quickly as possible.

After throwing on the clothes you sat out on the bathroom counter, you cautiously open the door, steam pouring out into the hall.

“Hello?” You try to sound confident and intimidating, but it comes out weak and shaky.

The usual sounds of the old apartment building are the only things you hear. For a moment, you question your sanity. Maybe your duet partner is just in your mind.

Walking back into your room, drying your hair with your towel, you halt at the sight of the orange bottles lined up on your nightstand.

A crash of glass followed by a “fuck” from the kitchen jolts you back to reality. On the wooden floor is the candle you left burning while you were in the shower.

“I-I’m so sorry. I was just trying to blow it out.” A man stutters behind you, causing you to flinch away. It’s the man again.

The lack of sleep must be taking a major toll on your sanity, enough to make you do stupid things. Adrenaline coursing through your veins wills you to run and tackle him.

“Wait-Wait-Wait!” He warns and puts his arms up in defense… Yet all your force falls through him, you falling to the ground.

“Y/N, I thought you learned with the coffee cup,” he chides playfully.

“Why won’t you leave me alone?” You yell with tears in your eyes, ignoring the pain in your wrists from trying to catch yourself as you turn to sit and face him.

He realizes how serious you are, and his smile drops. Something in your mind begs you to ask the burning question planted by Wooyoung.

“Are you dead?”

After a long moment that feels like an eternity, he simply nods.

“Did it hurt?”

“I don’t remember.”

“So… you don’t remember… how?”

He shakes his head.

You try to process what is happening, and the questions keep coming. “Why are you haunting me?”

“I don’t mean to. I don’t know how to leave. I can’t really control when I appear. You’re the first person to see me.”

You regain the strength to stand, still uneasy of whatever is in front of you.

“Who are you?”

“San.”

“… Is that purple marble yours?” You see a spark of recognition in his eyes.

“You have it?” He asks, stepping closer.

“It’s in my room.” You move towards your door behind San who simply goes through it. When you enter, you find him staring at the small shrine you made for him.

“You didn’t have to set this up.”

“I wanted to be respectful.”

He opens his mouth to say something but closes it and returns his gaze to the marble.

“My grandmother gave me that marble when I was little. She told me it would bring me good fortune.”

You remain quiet as he falls back into his memories for a moment. The fact you are being unusually calm in this situation has you questioning yourself, but there is a comfort being in San’s presence that you can’t explain. He seems so familiar, but you don’t know from where.

“This must be the only thing left of mine in this apartment,” he says somberly and slowly reaches out to touch it. Just as his finger brushes it, the light bulb in your bedside lamp pops, causing both of you to jump.

“I don’t think you should try to touch it anymore,” you recommend, and he quietly agrees.

“I need to get to class, so please don’t break anything else while I’m gone.”

He lets out a sigh, eyes glued to the marble, “I can’t make any promises.”

Your thoughts are a scrambled mess, and you can barely focus on the lecture. Once you stepped out of your apartment, it finally hit you that you are haunted by the ghost of the previous tenant. That statement alone sounds insane. Having talked to the ghost sounds even more insane, and at that moment, you determine you should not tell anyone about San. Wooyoung would never step into your apartment again, and Yeosang would seriously worry about your mental health. You can’t let that be a burden on someone else again.

“I will be assigning partners, so don’t get too excited,” the professor announces and glances up from his paper on the podium to give the class an unimpressed glare. You force your mind to pay attention to what is going on inside the lecture hall.

He starts rattling off names in pairs. Your anxiety kicks in as you wait for your name. You don’t know anyone in this class, so this project could absolutely suck if your partner is a slacker.

“Seonghwa and Y/N.”

You raise your hand and search for the other person. A guy with his hand up a few rows down meets your eyes and smiles. The only things you know about him are that he’s quiet and others find him intimidating. No one except his friend will sit next to him. Last week someone made half the row move a seat over so that they didn’t have to sit by him.

“Please move around to sit with your partner, and then I’ll discuss the project in more detail,” the professor says before stepping over to his laptop to bring up a presentation.

Students immediately stand, and your row starts slipping by you, making you awkwardly shift your legs. If they had just waited for you to stand up, this wouldn’t be such a tight squeeze. Before you can see where your partner is, he’s already standing next to you. You open your mouth to greet him, but someone steps on your foot, making you yelp instead.

“Hey, watch where you’re stepping,” Seonghwa addresses the person, his face inches from theirs, and they look like a deer in headlights.

“Sorry,” they meekly apologize and hurry away.

When Seonghwa turns to you, his eyebrows are still furrowed, and you understand why that person ran. But his hard exterior melts away once he makes eye contact with you. He pulls down the seat next to you and relaxes into it.

“I’m Seonghwa.” His smile is back, and you’re completely charmed. He’s even more handsome up close.

“Y/N,” you sound nervous and mentally kick yourself, “Thanks for…”

“Of course,” he says, and just as he opens his mouth again, the professor demands focus back to the screen.

The class feels like it drags on because of how monotoned the professor is and boring the subject matter is. He manages to teach longer than his allotted time, and the professor for the next class impatiently hovers at the front desk. Once the class is freed, Seonghwa waits as you pick up your things and walks out of the building with you. He makes a joke about the professor, apparently having had him before. From what you can tell, this class is going to be hell. After what you dealt with this morning, life is just slapping you with more anxiety. At least for this, you’ll have someone by your side.

“Here,” Seonghwa says, holding out his phone with the keypad open.

You nervously put in your number and save the contact with your name. After handing it back, he quickly sends you a text with his name.

“We should meet up later this week to start some of the research if you’re free.”

“Y-yeah, we should,” You awkwardly agree.

“Alright, I’ll text you later about it. I have to get to another class.”

“Oh, yeah, just, um, you sho- yeah, uh, have a good class,” you stumble over your words, wanting the world to swallow you whole.

He laughs cutely, “Thanks.”

As he walks away, you head in the other direction, your face on fire from your own stupidity. “Have a good class,” you mock yourself under your breath.

You spend the whole trek back to your apartment thinking of how that conversation should have gone. The embarrassment vanishes as you step inside your front door. A pile of glass is on the floor as if someone has swept all the broken pieces up.

“I broke another one,” San sheepishly admits as he appears in the living room pointing at one of the light fixtures.

How in the hell are you supposed to live like this?

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 5 years

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Move Along

For opulenceradiance and mcurhodeytony as they requested. (with slight tweaks but overall I think I got the requests down)

Warnings: nonconsent sex (oral, fingering, intercourse) mentions of death and grieving, kidnapping.

This is dark!Steve and dark!Thor and explicit. 18+ only.

Summary: After the snap, Steve and Thor look for a new purpose.

Note: Alright, yes, I know I’m not writing what you want me to but I am trying y’all. Here’s another request I finally finished. Hope you all enjoy and thanks for all your patience and support.

Please let me know your thoughts and reblog/like <3

It was a blur. Time floated by like dust in the wind. The sky was greyer, the streets grimmer. The city had never been friendly, but now it was heartless. No one said hello, no one looked at each, they only carried on. The world passed by as its citizens stood still.

You could still see it. You couldn't help but think of it. That day. Over and over in your head. In your dreams. Your sister sat at the table as you poured the wine. She was recounting her last disastrous date. You turned to laugh and all at once she was gone. A heap of ashes in her chair. You choked on your giggle. The wine spilled across the tile as the glass shattered at your feet.

It wasn’t just her. It was millions of people. Billions. Half the world just disappeared. And no one knew what to do next. How to move on. How to live. Everyone wanted to forget, yet they couldn’t help but cling to the memories.

You would write her name down. And your mother’s. They wouldn’t be forgotten. You weren’t the only one. The facility was quiet even as the crowds filled the airy arena. Stark Industries had funded a program to record those who disappeared. Plaques would be made and placed in Central Park. In other cities, there were more; at YMCAs and city halls.

It took you a week to find the strength. The courage. It meant acceptance. Resignation. They were gone and you were alone. Everyone handled grief differently. And now, everyone handed it on their own. No one wanted to talk. Or listen. They just wanted to be left alone.

The lines were long despite the desolation of the city. It took an hour of waiting to get inside the compound. The queue moved a step at a time. You could see the tables ahead of you. Only a few words passed as people moved along.

“Write the names. Take this. Move along.”

You recognized the man as he handed you the pen. It was your turn. He looked much unlike the posters that displayed the valiant Captain America. He looked tired. Defeated. “Name, or names.” He pointed to the list. “You can include their birthday if you like. Or an epitaph.”

You stared at him. The pen slipped from your hand. Your fingers were shaky as you felt around for it. He grabbed it and gave it back to you. You bent over the folder and steadied your hand. It felt like an eternity. The ink stained the page in rigid lines. They were more than that. More than names.

You finished and dropped the pen again. You stood straight and blinked as you looked around. “Miss,” The voice was distant as you glanced around at the strangers. Those still alive. Why were they here? Why were you? “Miss. Are you okay?”

You snapped back. Your vision cleared and you blinked at the golden-haired avenger. You nodded and sniffed. “Y-yeah, I’m...fine.”

You slowly moved on. The next person stepped up. He took the pen and handed it to them but he watched you go. You turned and wandered away. Blind to the crowd around you. Lost in a sudden fog.

You were stopped as you collided with a wall. You grumbled and backed up. It wasn’t a wall at all. It was man. As familiar as the last. Another Avenger. The Asgardian king. He looked angry. Unimpressed by your disturbance as he stared down at you.

“Excuse me, sorry,” You backed away. “I wasn’t looking…”

“It’s fine,” He crossed his arms as he narrowed his eyes. “Worse things have occured.”

He brushed you off and walked away. You turned to watch him go. He went to the table where the others sat. He dropped heavily into a chair and opened a folder. He handed a pen wordlessly to another mournful New Yorker. He scowled as the pen scratched across the paper.

The table was lined with those who were supposed to save you from disaster. Those who had failed to keep half the world from extinction. Natasha Romanoff, better known as the Black Widow, rubbed her eyes and yawned. The three of them looked worse than you felt. The beacons of humanity extinguished.

You tucked your hands in your pocket and weaved through the crowd. It was over. This was the new world, though it felt like the end. The hordes of dead mourning those who had lived.

Steve watched the woman go. She was no different from the hundreds he had seen that day so he couldn't explain why he noticed her. Why he checked the list after she went. Why his eyes followed her aimless path through the crowd.

He only knew that he noticed her and that for whatever reason, he couldn't stop thinking about her. All through the day and the lines of people come to mourn. As they cleaned up the tables and chairs, he caught himself trying to picture her face. The look in her eyes. He repeated the names she had left in ink.

When they finished up, he went back to his room and ate alone. The compound was quiet now. There were a few of them left; Steve, Thor, Nat, and Bruce. Tony left to live his life and a few of the others suggested they'd do the same. Steve had no idea what 'a life' would mean for him.

He laid awake; restless. He thought of her again. It was odd to think that everyone in the world felt the same as him now. Displaced, empty, lost. It was even comforting. He rolled over and rubbed his eyes. She was just another stranger.

The next day he typed the names in. He shouldn't have but he couldn't help it. Her mother and sister. He found her information with theirs. She looked tired in her photo. The typical DMV grimace found on one's license. She wasn't anything remarkable. He wouldn't pick her out of a crowd. Forgettable. Easily missed.

He took out the small notebook he kept in his jacket pocket. He scrawled down her address and that of her workplace. She worked in a municipal office. Easy enough to find. With his clearance, he could even access the cameras.

He would start simple. He'd watched her from afar. Figure out her routine. Her route to and from work, when she woke up, when she went to bed, what she did in between. She was easy enough to track. Careless, even.

On the weekends, she'd go to a cafe near her building. She'd sit on the patio and read. He watched from across the street. He sat on the steps outside a realtor that was never open outside the work week. He was just another loiterer.

He wrote down the time under the day's date, what she wore, where she sat. He tucked away the notebook and leaned his elbows on his knees. He'd gone to the cafe once. She didn't notice him as she sat in the corner and hunched over her mug. Good.

He sighed and rubbed his cheek. He wasn't sure what to do next. He'd been watching her for weeks. Autumn was quickly coming to an end and he did not like the thought of sitting out in the snow. He wasn't ready yet.

"Hey," Steve looked up in surprise at the familiar voice.

He hadn't seen Thor much. The Asgardian had been distracted as he tended to his homeless kingdom. His time in the compound was spent arguing with a woman called Valkyrie. Steve didn't see much of anyone. But her.

"Uh, hey," Steve stood suddenly. "What are you--hey."

"Just...walking around." Thor said evenly. He shrugged and looked down the gritty pavement. "Wandering."

"Oh, yeah. Me too." Steve lied. "I get a bit claustrophobic in the compound."

"Mmm," Thor nodded. "I know what you mean." He squinted as he considered Steve. "Well, guess I'll leave you be."

"Yeah, see ya." Steve tried to smile and glanced across the street. She was leaving. She slung her purse across her chest and left her empty mug for the busser.

Thor grumbled and carried on. Steve barely noticed him go as he kept his attention on her. She took her usual route. She'd pass by the antiques shop and look through the window at the wares. He kept to the other side of the street though he doubted she'd notice if he were right behind her.

He watched her walk up the steps of her building as he stood by the mouth of an alley. He was spooked again as he sensed a shadow behind him. He frowned as he turned and found Thor nearing. The god's blue eyes were aimed across the street.

"You following me?" Steve accused and bristled.

"Nah," The god answered casually and looked to Steve. "But I think we might be following the same person."

"I'm not…I'm just walking." Steve stammered.

"She's oblivious." Thor ignored his fib. "Almost as much as you. She might not have caught on, but you're not hard to figure out."

He gulped. He didn't know what to say. How to explain what he was doing. What was he doing?

"Wait...what do you mean...following the same person?" Steve asked.

Thor chuckled. "Didn't realize until a week ago we had the same idea. Saw you watching her. I left real quick thinking you'd see me first."

"How long have you--"

"Two months, roughly. She's...easy." He carefully chose his words. "Same streets, same times. She thinks she's invisible. She may as well be. In this world, another person missing…"

"Missing?" Steve echoed. "What do you mean?"

"You're not following her just to watch." He grinned. "Although...if you're into that, I've something interesting to show you."

"What...you want to...I mean, what were you gonna do?" Steve sputtered.

"Eh, it'll be better if we work together. More efficient. Don't you think?"

"You're saying we should…" Steve blinked and his cheeks burned. He had dreamed of it but he just couldn't find the courage to do it. Not yet.

"The basement of the compound. Tony built all those chambers for the trainees. Well, it's not happening now is it? No one ever goes down there but it's all still there." Thor clapped Steve's shoulder as his eyes gleamed. "Come on. We've a lot to catch up on."

Thor led Steve into the room in the basement. He had left most of it as he'd found it. The walls were thick and soundproof and none would be close enough to hear an activity as it was. Each room was designed to house a single person. A kitchenette, a bathroom, a bed. It was perfect.

He closed the door as Steve entered and hit the lights. He neared the small table beside the kitchenette and sat. He waved Steve over and hit power on the laptop. He'd become quite accustomed to Midgard technology. He had to as Valkyrie called quite frequently to report on New Asgard.

"Sit." He pointed to the other chair at the table. "Oh, perfect," He moved his fingers on the pad as Steve pulled the chair up. "Look."

He sat back and watched the footage on the screen. The woman pulled her shirt off and shoved her jeans down. She moved around in her underwear and grabbed a towel from the cupboard just out of frame. He could feel his cock twitch.

"How?" Steve wondered.

"Just outside her window. I thought of sneaking in but... it's good enough for now." Thor explained proudly. "Spends most her time in here. Reading, watching television... doesn't sleep much."

Steve looked at him. Thor boomed in laughter at the shock on his face.

"I've still got some work to do. Could use the extra hands." He said. "So?"

"You want to...share her?" Steve asked.

"In a manner of speaking." He stood and Steve leaned in to look closer at the screen. Thor walked around the room and sighed. "The door needs a lock on the outside. A proper one. Straps on the bed. Maybe cuffs... She's a little thing but I think she might have more fight to her than it looks."

"Straps? Cuffs?" Steve turned in the chair.

"Just in case. A precaution. I don't want to hurt her…" He neared and switched windows. "I've set up cameras in here already. Got some books for her. Some clothes."

Steve's mouth fell open. Thor could see his thoughts behind his blue eyes. It wasn't judgement, it was curiosity. Excitement.

"It's a small world now and not so many are eager to rebuild it," Thor said. "She could be a start to rebuilding."

Steve nodded and his lips parted in realization. A small smile rose to the surface and he stood. "Yeah, I think she could."

There weren’t as many people to help these days. The lines were much shorter at the municipal offices than before. However, there was also less people left to do the work. And you no longer just dealt with the living; there were thousands of records to purge from your systems. Many more death certificates than birth certificates.

Your job had never been particularly fun but now the office felt lifeless. The people who waited for their number and came to your window were glum. No small talk, no courteous half-smiles, they said their purpose and you processed them as quickly as you could.

It reminded you of those lined up to record the names of the lost. You wondered if you shared the same hopeless expression that had sombered the faces of the defeated Avengers. You photocopied, faxed, and stamped. It was mindless work. You were glad for it. You didn’t have to think. You could just be.

The days passed in a grey blur. The autumn sun faded to early winter clouds. You spent your weekend inside or ventured down to the cafe on the corner to indulge in a specialty brew. You rarely tasted it. Merely enjoyed the nostalgia of the place. Almost as if all was normal. The lines remained there. People always needed their fix.

As snows threatened, the cafe closed their patio. No chairs left to sit and stare up into the void. It was a Sunday. The city was silent. You took your cinnamon latte and walked until you found a park. The cold grass was littered with dead leaves and muddied pinecones. Barren branches crested the trails and beckoned to the grieving populace.

You sat on a stone bench and pressed your cold palms to the warm cup. You looked around. A few birds here and there. The flocks were smaller now; the squirrels even more timid. There were others there. Silent, hands in their pocket, eyes glued to the ground. Most were alone.

You sipped from your paper cup and leaned back as you crossed your legs. You wished you had thought to bring your headphones. You hated the silence. You chewed on the rim of the cup as you stared into the street. The cars passed just outside the entrance. The city no longer trapped in eternal deadlock.

It was easier to be a New Yorker now. Easier to ignore others on the subway and avoid human interaction on the street. You were all complicit in the new world order. Keep your head down, your mouth shut, and move along.

The sky shifted and you glanced over as a shadow flickered in your peripheral. Just another pedestrian. Hoodie pulled low as he dragged his feet along the paved trail. Another man sat by the stream and threw rocks into the water.

You looked back to your cup. What remained of your drink was cold and bitter. You stood and tossed it in the bin next to the bench. Leaves swirled around your legs and the clouds darkened.

A drop of rain splattered on the ground before you. And another. Then another. It was cold enough for snow but the rain fell in bountiful orbs and shattered against the pavement. You ducked your head down and shivered. Your wool jacket would soon be soaked through.

You got home from the park and shed your sopping wool coat. The rain poured down harder and harder the closer you got to home. As you hung the dripping coat in your shower, a crack of thunder made you jump.

You rushed into the main room of your apartment and lightning flashed. The windows shuddered as the rain hammered against them. It was unusual for a thunderstorm to rise so close to winter. Weirder things had happened.

You changed into a nightshirt and a pair of cotton panties. You grabbed your phone and flopped onto your bed. You'd order take out and hope the driver made it through the storm. Your stomach grumbled and you echoed it. Another grim day.

You spent the night in bed as you usually did. The Chinese food was wholly unsatisfying but it was better than nothing. You settled in to watch pointless DIYs on Youtube and yawned through the ads.

The storm quieted and you sank into a lull. Your eyes closed but your mind never really stopped. You floated atop the mattress and the dark shrouded you in its arms. The television flickered through your eyelids, its speakers faded to a buzz in your head.

You didn't know how long it was before you woke. The television still glowed in the dark and your eyes were blurry as you felt around for your phone. You grabbed it and stopped the stream. You hit the power button on the remote and fell back on your pillows.

In the silence, you heard a creak, the whistle of the wind, and shadows swirled through the dim. You rolled onto your back and sighed as your drowsiness began to slake awake. You didn't have a chance to scream as the spectre sat beside you and a hand clapped across your mouth.

You grabbed at the hand as you struggled and a prick in your neck made your eyes water. Your limbs turned to lead and went limp as the black closed in to a pinpoint. A final flash of light before it all turned to dust.

When you woke next, your head was heavy and your muscles were stiff. Your vision cleared and revealed a ceiling not your own. You tried to sit up but found your arms and legs restrained. You looked around at the small room.

You dropped your head back to the pillow and groaned. Whatever you'd been knocked out with was potent. You felt weak. Even more vulnerable as the straps held you down. The door opened and you closed your eyes. You trembled as footsteps neared the bed.

"Please, I don't know who you are." You croaked through your dry throat. "I haven't seen you. I don't know where we are. Y-you can still let me go."

"Oh, but you do know who I am." The voice was barely familiar. Not immediately at least. He had an accent but it wasn't telling. A weight dipped the side of the bed as the stranger sat beside you. "You can open your eyes."

"I-I-I don't want to." You stuttered.

"You can refuse to but it won't get you out of here. I'm afraid…there is no way out of here. For your good and ours." He said. "And I must advise you that your disobedience will do you no favours."

"Ours?" Your voice cracked. "What do you mean 'ours'?"

"We'll get to that but first I want you to open your eyes." He spoke calmly but there was malice in his tone. "If you are good, I might untie you. Give you some food, if you're hungry."

You gulped. You bit down and pulled against the straps. You sighed and let your eyes flutter open. You slowly looked to him and your lips parted in shock. You did know him. Or you at least knew of him. An Avenger. A hero. It was truly a new world.

"Good." Thor ran his fingers along your side and smiled down at you. "It will be some time before I can untie you. I must await my associate." He stood and you shivered as the shadow of his touch remained. "Be patient, little one, and it will not be too long."

He turned and walked to the door. You lifted your head to watch his broad shoulders. "Wait, please." You whimpered. "Why are you doing this?"

He stopped and looked over his shoulder as his hand rested on the handle. "Patience." With that he left you and the click of the door echoed in your head. Your head fell back to the pillow and you sobbed. What the fuck?

In the time you were left to dread Thor's return, you stared at the white ceiling and tried to clear your head. Looking around the room made the pit in your stomach deeper. The kitchenette, the small door slightly ajar, the bed, every inch was designed for your occupation. One which could last forever.

When the handle turned next you didn't bother looking up. The blood coursed through your veins and your heart raced. There were two sets of footsteps. You trembled and fought to keep from hyperventilating.

"You should untie her." Another voice rose and Thor grumbled. "I think we can handle her."

A sigh and Thor appeared beside the bed. He unstrapped your wrists and ankles and stepped back. "Better you don't try anything." He warned.

You watched him retreat and sat up numbly. You were just as stunned to lay eyes on the other man in the room. Steve Rogers stared at you. His fingers twitched at his side as you pulled your knees up to your chest. You still wore the nightshirt and plain panties.

"You gone over rules?" He asked. Thor shook his head and sat in one of the chairs at the round table. Steve crossed his arms and neared the end of the bed. "You know who we are."

You nodded. It wasn't really a question. You knew them and they apparently knew you.

"But you don't know why you're here." You stared and he continued. "Right, before we get into that, there is the most important rule. When you are spoken to, you are to reply. 'Yes, sir' will do just fine but Captain works as well." He stopped at the foot of the mattress. "Your majesty for my friend, I guess."

"My king, your highness, what have you." Thor said casually.

"Understood?" Steve stared at you.

"Yes...sir." You forced out. Even if there wasn't a locked door, you had no hope against the two of them.

"Good." Steve dropped his arms, his hands decisively on his hips. "The world is much smaller than it used to be. So many lives lost. It's sad but we are still here. There is still a world left. A world we can rebuild. Replenish."

"Just say it, Steve," Thor growled and looked over at you. "We need people. And in such a state, no one's fucking anymore. So... we've got a dozen rooms down here and time to spare."

"Thor, come on," Steve chided.

"You're the first. Hopefully not the last. We're merely testing the waters here." Thor smirked. "You should be honoured. A concubine to two great men. Men of title."

"Why…" You looked between them fearfully. "Why me?"

"You're young enough and you won't be noticed." Thor said. "Besides you've got that lost look in your eyes. You need the distraction. A sense of purpose."

"We're gonna take care of you. Everything you need. The only thing you need to do is do as you're told." Steve explained. "Easy enough, right?"

You frowned. Your body was numb, as if it wasn't yours. You shivered and forced your voice to rise. "Yes, sir."

Steve smiled and Thor leaned on the table. He picked at the wood and huffed.

"You hungry?" Steve asked.

You shook your head and quickly corrected yourself. "No, sir."

"Okay. Well, you should get up and walk around. Get your blood flowing. We'll go over the rules." Steve backed away and paced the room.

"Yes, sir." You mumbled and shyly crawled across the bed. You stood unsteadily and glanced around.

"You need something, you ask. Please and thank you. We will provide whatever you need within reason." Steve began and Thor nodded as he leaned his chin in his hand. "You wear what we give you. If it's nothing at all, so be it. You do everything we say, no argument. Got it?"

You took a few steps and stopped. "Yes, sir." What else could you say?

"Great. So, you will get cleaned up." Steve crossed to the dresser and pulled out a pair of lace panties and a matching bra. Neither was practical. He gathered them and turned to near you. "Take a shower, do your hair, freshen up." He handed you the lingerie. "Everything you need should be in there." His fingers brushed yours and you winced. "Let's make the first time special."

You looked down at the lace. Floral patterns decorated the delicate fabric. Steve backed away and crossed the room to push the small door to the left of the kitchenette entirely open. Thor tilted his head as he watched your hesitation and you made yourself move.

You passed Steve and entered the small bathroom. He closed the door behind you. You turned in the tight space and shuddered. Everything was so carefully prepared.

You set down the underwear on the counter and took stock of the place. A new toothbrush and a tube of paste. You opened the cupboard to find a hair brush, dryer, straightener, a zip-up case of cosmetics, razors, lotion...more than you needed.

You looked into the mirror. A post-it attached to its face. You sniffed and grabbed it. A list; brush teeth, shower, shave, moisturize, dry hair, style, light makeup only, dress. Shit.

There was no window. You guessed this place was underground. The way sound was airtight. They'd be smart enough for that. They had seemingly thought of everything. Everything to keep you.

You followed the list. After so long being numb you felt everything at once and it had you in shock. All the despair, all the anger, all the fear, left a fragment of a person. There was not enough left to fight.

The bathroom walls seemed to shift and close in tighter. You dried your hair and checked off each bullet point in your head. You hadn't bothered with anything more than the basics since the snap. Brush your teeth, comb your hair, dress, and out the door. The bare minimum. The standard of the new world.

The bra pinched you with its underwire and the panties threatened to ride up. Neither offered modesty. You could see it all. The flowers along the white lace did little to distract from your nipples or the vee of your pelvis.

You gripped the edge of the counter and exhaled. Your chest felt as if it would cave in. A tear pricked at your eye and you sniffed it back. You didn't want your mascara to run. You feared what they'd do if you weren't perfect. The straps across the bed loomed in your mind.

A knock came at the door. You jumped and your lip trembled dangerously. Don't cry. Stop. Just keep your head down, your mouth shut, and move along.

"You okay?" Steve asked through the wood.

What were you supposed to say? You weren't okay. You were trapped down here. Expected to…

You turned to the door and opened it. He stepped back and his eyes widened as they took in all of you. You held onto the door as your legs threatened to crumple beneath you. You heard the scrape of the chair and Thor's shadow appeared in your sights.

You felt his gaze too. You tried not to look at either of them. You stared at the floor and stood in the doorway.

"Come on," Steve offered his hand. "You look...amazing."

"Thank you, sir," You murmured and took his hand.

You shook and he squeezed your hand as if to comfort you. But it was him that you feared. Both of them. He guided you away from the bathroom as Thor moved along your peripheral.

"Good girl," Steve praised as he let you go to in the middle of the room.

You stood and watched as Thor revealed a bar from the narrow closet on the other side of the room. Your breath caught in your chest as you realized what it was; metal cuffs at either end. He turned to you and you dashed to the thick metal door and clawed at the handle.

"Please, let me out. You can't do this. Please." You cried as the door wouldn't budge. You felt a presence beside you and were dragged back as strong hands gripped your arms.

"Shhh, it's okay. Don't make this harder than it needs to be." Steve coaxed.

"I told you we should've just left her on the bed." Thor growled. "Easier."

"Just help me," Steve demanded as you tried to wriggle free.

He turned you and Thor caught your foot as you kicked out. He hooked one end of the bar to your ankle and you exclaimed. Steve held you from behind as you struggled to keep your other foot from Thor's grasp. He grabbed your leg roughly and forced the other cuff around your ankle.

Your legs were kept apart by the long bar and you leaned precariously against Steve. You tried to free yourself from him but he clung to you. "I let go and you're gonna mess up that pretty little face so let's not be stupid here. Yeah?"

Thor went back to closet and pulled out a chest. He stirred around in it and turned back with a roll of black tape.

"What did I say about answering me?" Steve snarled.

"Y-yes, sir." You rasped. "Please, don't let him-- You don't have to do this. Let me go, please."

Thor laughed as he neared and grabbed your left wrist. You struggled but he was much too strong. He tugged you forward so that you bent and Steve's hands fell to your hips to keep you from falling.

Thor pressed your wrist to your ankle and taped it there. He did the same to your other as every muscle strained in the awkward position. Thor stood and Steve brought you back so that your ass was against his crotch. He wiggled his hips and you felt his erection.

"Deal's a deal," Steve huffed. "You get her first."

You could hear the rustle of clothing and Thor's heavy footfalls. You gulped and wobbled on your feet as Steve held you in place.

"You better hurry the fuck up." Steve urged.

Thor growled and Steve moved out from behind you. Thor replaced him and a thicker hand gripped your hip. His other crawled along your panties and pushed them aside to dip his fingers between your folds.

"Take her mouth," He growled. "She's not wet enough."

You couldn’t move. You’d fall over if you got free and his hold on you was much too tight.

You whimpered as you sensed Steve near and Thor kept his fingers on your pussy. He played around with your bud as you tried not to feel it. You heard a zipper and Steve grabbed your head and pulled it back as far as it could go. His cock stood above his open fly and your eyes rounded.

He bent his knees and poked his tip along your lips. You tried to shake your head but he held you in place and Thor pushed against your ass to urge you closer. Steve tightened his grip on your head until you opened your mouth and he slid inside. You choked as he hit the back of your throat but he didn’t stop.

Thor’s fingers sped up and you quaked as you fought to resist the sudden tingle spreading through you. You gurgled around Steve’s cock as you felt Thor’s prod your ass. You didn’t realize he was naked. You rocked helpless between them and Thor continued to toy with you as Steve guided your mouth.

Thor slipped his fingers back and shoved two inside of you roughly. They were thick and stretched you more than you expected. He slid them in and out as your arousal spread along his hand and your pussy. You closed your eyes in shame as your body betrayed you. You gagged as Steve’s motion didn’t waver and he groaned loudly with each thrust.

Thor pressed his thumb to your clit as he continued to work his fingers inside you. Your eyes rolled back at the sensation that rose from his touch. Sparks radiated from your core and flowed through you as he pushed you to your edge. You struggled to breath around Steve’s cock and the sound of your wetness mingled with his sighs.

You came with a quiver. Thor chuckled as he eased you through your climax. “She’s ready now.” Thor announced. “Very responsive.” He removed his slick fingers and wiped them along your ass. “Hurry up and cum so I can fuck her.”

“In her mouth? It’d be a waste,” Steve panted but didn’t stop.

“In her mouth. We agreed. Me first.” Thor slapped your ass and kneaded the flesh.

Steve grunted and sank to the back of your throat. You choked and he pulled back only to slam back in. He gave long thrusts as his fingers spread across the sides of your head. He groaned and you felt the sudden gush of warmth. He stilled as his cum filled your mouth and trickled down your throat. He rocked his hips and purred before he pulled out. You gasped as spit and semen dripped from your lips.

He caressed your cheek and backed away. “Go on then.” He said to Thor.

You hung your head and wrapped your fingers around your ankles to steady yourself. Your throat was ragged and your shoulders ached. Thor shifted you back as he bent his knees and pulled on the lace panties until they tore. You shook your head and held back as sob as he leaned in and wetted his cock along your folds.

You braced yourself as he aligned himself with your entrance. He filled you in one quick thrust. You cried out at the pain. His length stretched you terrible and the force of his intrusion added to the strain. Your legs buckled but the bar kept you from collapsing.

“Fuck, take it easy on her,” Steve sneered. “Don’t wanna break the poor girl.”

Thor growled but didn’t respond as he pulled back and slammed back into you. He jolted your entire body as he did and you bit your lip to keep from screaming. He kept his thrusts sharp, deliberate, and hard. His heavy breaths punctuated his deep groans and your weak whimpers.

He lifted you so that your feet were off the floor and he snapped his hips against your ass. You mewled as another orgasm began to build through the torture. Your pussy clung to his cock and quivered around him as you came. Another wave of shame. You sniffed and bid yourself not to cry.

“Gods,” Thor growled and your feet were back on the floor as he rutted against you. “Ah, fuck.”

His thrusts turned wild, frantic even. You felt his cum spill inside of you but he did not stop. He filled you and fucked you until you could feel the mix of your juices seeping out around his cock. When he pulled out, the mess gushed from you and trickled down your thighs.

He let go and you tipped forward. You were caught before you could crash into the hardwood and Steve held you up by your shoulders. He was naked. His blue eyes burned over your shoulder as he watched Thor retreat.

“Hey, what the fuck?” He hissed.

“She’s fine,” Thor retorted. “Go on then. Your turn.”

Steve shook his head and turned his attention to you. He steadied you and reached to rip away the tape. With your hands free, you balanced yourself with palms on the floor and Steve moved around you. He was behind you on his knees as he unlocked the cuffs and tossed the key to Thor who lingered out of sight.

He helped you stand and you touched your aching back. He snaked his arm around your waist and led you towards the bed. You felt disgusting already. Your face and pussy slick with cum and spit. You tried to plant your feet before you came upon the foot board but Steve kept you moving.

“I don’t want to tie you up,” He said quietly. “But I will. It’s better you start co-operating.”

You looked at him with revulsion. His gaze turned dangerous and you glanced over at Thor as he hovered along the sidelines. His eyes watched you as his softening cock began to twitch. “Yes, sir,” You gulped and lowered your eyes.

“Alright, get on the bed.” Steve ordered. “On your back.”

You pursed your lips and climbed up wordlessly. You fell back and shuddered. He followed and pushed your legs apart as he knelt between them. You turned your head and stared at the wall. You were surprised as his hand cupped your tits and he bent over you. He slid the bra down your arms and buried his face in your chest.

He nibbled along your skin and played with your nipples until they were hard. He covered one with his mouth and suckled as his other hand crawled along your vee. He delved between your lips and you flinched as his finger brushed over your clit.

He angled his cock as he moved his hips and poked his fingers inside as he felt around. He pulled them out and spread your pussy as he aligned his tip against your entrance. He slid inside of you slowly and sank his teeth into your breast. You squeaked in surprise.

He brought himself to his limit and lifted his head. His golden hair fell across his forehead as he began to rock his hips. He sat back and held your thighs apart as he thrust into you. He watched his cock glide in and out and his lips parted hungrily.

You dug your fingers into the duvet as he fucked you. The springs bounced beneath you and added to frenzy of his hips. He grabbed your wrists and forced your hands up beside your head. He sped up as he kept your hands pinned and his groans turned ferocious.

You gulped and gasped and moaned. You came again but barely noticed as it all blurred to a haze. He fucked you harder and harder. He didn't let up until your voice rose louder and louder; overwrought and desperate.

He gritted his teeth and tightened his grip on your wrists. He snapped his hips forward and sighed. He came with a series of jerky thrusts and eased himself to a stop. He breathed shakily and sat up. He watched his cock slide out of you and spread his cum along your pussy with the tip.

"Mmmm," He licked his lips and his shoulders slumped.

Thor came up beside the bed and you pathetically crossed your arms to cover yourself. Then men looked to each other and smirked. Steve carefully crawled out from between your legs and Thor replaced him.

"What a good little pet," He pinched your thigh as he stroked his cock. "One day, you will carry a god. What a glorious purpose."

"A god?" Steve scoffed as he lingered at the side of the bed. "We'll see about that."

1K notes · View notes

sunnybimbo · 8 years

Text

tfw i meant to post this late night but i put it in my queue by accident

ao3 link here

have some garrison trio for hunk’s birthday because B O N D I N G and also i was riding a big sugar high so it isn’t as Epic as i wanted it to be

but it was fun!

It was early morning. Or late night?

It was 4 a.m., about.

Target: Asleep. Probably having a good dream by the looks of those drool stains. His covers half thrown off the bed, and he was near suffocating in his snores.

Perfect.

Lance launched himself from his balcony to Hunk’s, nearly slipping on a clump of ice.

“Toss the goods, Eagle Two!”

Pidge rolled her eyes, but threw the ‘goods’ (an old backpack, stuffed to the brim with… secrets) at him nonetheless.

“Do you even remember how to pick a lock?”

“Uh duh. I’ve watched like… a million spy movies.”

Pidge shook her head exasperatedly. “Your funeral when you set off every alarm in the house.”

Lance flipped her off as she hopped over the banister, joining him on the other side.

Alright. Bobby pin? Check.

Credit Card? Expired, but that didn’t matter.

Spare key to the front door in case he couldn’t pick the lock? Back pocket.

“Let’s do this.” He grinned, cracking his knuckles. The bobby pin was then unceremoniously shoved into the keyhole.

And the door creaked open with the motion. No fiddling with locks needed.

“Huh.”

Pidge just barely resisted smacking her forehead. “You dingus. Rule one of anything ever is to always check if the door’s locked.” She climbed over him, and nearly face-planted into Hunk’s dresser as Lance tripped her.

“Oops.” He feigned innocence, fluttering his lashes at her as she rounded on him.

They began to loudly whisper out an argument. Pidge’s arms crossed, and then she flicked him. Lance gasped, offended.

They were just about to resort to a slap-fight when a loud groan interrupted them.

“What are you guys doing?” Hunk asked, sitting up to rub sleep from his eyes. His bedhead was a thing of beauty, hair framing his forehead like a crown. Or a halo.

“Oh, you’re awake! Good, good.” Lance didn’t bother with keeping his voice down any longer. Instead, he jumped on the bed (shoes and all) and began to bounce up and down excitedly. “Hurry up and get dressed, dude! It’s time!”

Hunk curled up in his fluffy comforter as his eyes drifted shut again. “Time for what?”

“Summertime.”

Pidge pulled on the back of Lance’s shirt, tugging him from his perch. “Don’t you dare quote High School Musical.”

“Pidge, you’re the one who showed it to me.”

“And that was a mistake.”

“Yeah, well - Hunk! Don’t fall back asleep, ya party-pooper. Sun’s shinin’!”

“No it’s not.” Hunk whined, but sat up again as requested. “What are we doing this early, anyway?”

Lance dug into his backpack and pulled out a badly drawn map. “We’re going on an adventure!”

“I swear, Lance, if you don’t stop with the movie quotes I will find every DVD you own and-”

He interrupted Pidge. “Hey, see, I wasn’t even trying to quote anything that time. You nerd.” Lance rolled up his map. “Now, help me get him out of bed.”

The two rounded on either side of Hunk’s bed and flipped the covers off.

Lance shrieked.

“Dude, where are your pants?” He cried, covering his eyes.

Pidge rolled her own again. “He’s wearing underwear, Lance. It’s not like you haven’t seen him naked, anyway.”

Hunk grumbled as he rolled out from under his covers, finally.

“Yeah, well… I know you are but what am I?” Lance stuck his tongue out.

Pidge didn’t grace that with a response. Instead, she jumped on the bed behind Hunk and shoved her phone under his face. “Get up, Oh Yellow One. If we’re gonna beat traffic, we have to leave in five.”

“Where are we going?” Hunk yawned, ambling to the bathroom.

Lance stopped his feet exasperatedly. “I already told you. Road trip!”

“But- why?”

“It’s a secret.”

Pidge tapped idly at her phone. “It’s your birthday, dude. We’re taking you to the beach. You and Lance can spend your day being burnt by U.V. rays and swallowing dirty, salty water all you want.”

“Aw, Pidge. You know I’m gonna drag you along to do all of that with us.” Lance cooed, peeking over her shoulder. “But also, we are a little behind schedule. Our first plan was to kidnap you and shove you in a truck, which would have been a lot faster.”

“Thanks for not doing that.” Hunk said behind his toothbrush. “I’d rather not pee myself on my birthday.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now hurry up!”

---

They were stuffed into Pidge’s tiny Punch Buggy and were soon holding on for dear life as she barely kept within the speed limit.

“Hunk, if we die I want you to know I love you!” Lance squealed as Pidge cut between two cars in the left lane, only to swerve in front of another as she overtook it.

“You babies. I’m barely going that fast. Besides, we have to get onto the main highway by 5 in order to really beat rush hour. So hold onto your toes!”

Hunk screamed as it looked like they were about to rear-end someone. Then, Pidge turned at the last second to an empty H.O.V. lane.

“There we go. Smooth sailing from here, probably!”

With a groan, Hunk covered his eyes, shoving his head between his knees. “Oh, no.”

“Projectile, incoming!” Lance cried, flying from the front seat to the back to give him something to throw up in.

---

Hunk did not throw up, but Lance took over as driver as soon as Pidge pulled off at the next exit. She pouted as she climbed into the back. “We were making good time.”

“Yeah, but we’d rather get their late with our lives than on time without any bones.”

“Lame.”

---

Lance, unfortunately, was just as good a driver as Pidge.

“You son of a mother- USE YOUR BLINKER!” He pushed his hand on the horn and held it for a solid five seconds.

Hunk was going to die. He was definitely going to die on this, the day of his birth.

“I swear to all that is holy in heaven… GO! The light is green!” Lance revved the engine. The car in front of him flipped them off and Lance-

“Lance, no.”

Lance hunkered down, shoulder up to his ears as he squinted at the car. Target: sighted.

“Lance, yes.”

The car took off and Lance was hot behind it in pursuit.

They hadn’t even made it back on the highway yet.

---

Hunk sighed, apologizing once again to the police officer as they made their way back to their car. Lance had his arms crossed as he sat shotgun, and Pidge was barely holding in her mirthful laugh at his expense.

Looks like it was up to the birthday boy to actually get them where they needed to go.

“You guys are ridiculous.” He sighed, clipping in his seatbelt. “I’m gonna have a heart attack.”

Pidge burst out laughing, holding her stomach as she rolled around in the backseat. “Did you see his face? And the cop, and-” Her laugh evolved to breathless squeaks, and soon the other two were laughing along with her.

“Sorry, dude.” Lance nudged Hunk in the arm.

“No problem. Just remind me to never leave my balcony unlocked again, yeah?”

“Mm… I’ll see what I can do.”

---

Eventually, the other two passed out. Pidge, probably because she hadn’t gotten any sleep that night. Lance, most likely from the amount of food he’d stuffed into himself from the gas station. Seriously, a chilli dog, chilli cheese fries, a bowl of chili, three kinds of potato chips, and a slushie?

Hunk gagged thinking about it. But whatever made him happy?

He was given time to think, though, about his friends.

This was his first real semester away from his family back in Hawaii. Of course he couldn’t just drop money to buy a ticket to visit for one weekend, not when he was drowning in that much debt. But, they’d sent him well wishes through various phone calls and texts, so he knew they didn’t forget. They’d never forget.

But he knew that if he’d been left alone that weekend, he’d probably have fallen into a depression. Lance and Pidge probably knew that, too.

He needed to remember to thank them for thinking about him, later.

---

Rush hour came and went, and they passed numerous car accidents, construction workers, and hitch-hikers.

Pidge slept through most of it. Lance, however, woke almost as soon as Hunk reached a comfortable cruising speed about two miles under the speed limit.

“How’s the time?” His lanky friend yawned, curling his legs up to his chin. How he did that in such a tiny seat, Hunk would probably never know.

“We’ll be there in like an hour.” Hunk hummed, turning down the radio. “Maybe a little over. Looks like some traffic ahead.”

“Gross.”

Hunk smiled. “Yeah. You can go back to sleep though. I’ll wake you up when we get there.”

“Nah… I feel bad making the birthday boy drive, anyway.” Lance fiddled with the radio stations, boredly rolling his eyes as they were stuck on commercial for every single channel.

“Let’s play a game. I Spy? Never Have I Ever?”

“I Spy doesn’t seem like a lot of fun when there are only cars, trees, and you know… highway stuff sitting around us. And don’t you need to drink something for Never Have I Ever?”

Lance threw his hands up exasperatedly. “Details!”

---

They ended up just singing karaoke.

Then some upbeat electronica popped on and Pidge gasped, throwing herself over the middle armrest to turn it up. “I love this song!”

“Pidge, seatbelt!” Hunk shrieked, narrowly avoiding a collision. She blew a raspberry directly into his ear before she plopped back into her seat, loudly clicking her seatbelt.

“I thought you only listened to country music.” Lance says, as if the words physically repulse him.

“Don’t make me bring up your song choices, Mister ‘Naruto Opening 7 Is In My Playlist Eight Times In A Row’.” She huffed.

Lance turned around in his seat, nose high in the air. “I’m blocking you.”

Pidge flicked him. “You love me.”

---

Their impromptu argument ended when Hunk accidentally flipped stations, and his favorite song was on.

This began the karaoke battle to end all karaoke. If they started a band, they would’ve risen to the top mere seconds after their first album dropped.

Traffic was at a stand-still, so Hunk was free to drum his hands across the dashboard. And so he did, not only hitting every single beat, but also able to find the right notes. Or, as close as he could get, on the plastic interior.

Lance was a master of air guitar. And head-banging. But the fact that he actually knew how to play the instrument made it that much more interesting to watch. Especially the way his fingers curled and flicked over the imaginary strings? It was captivating. Lance just had that kind of aura, though.

Pidge was… not as into it as the boys. But she was an amazing singer. Her voice was loud, unafraid, and boy could she hold a note. Hunk whooped every time she reached a high note, and whenever she sped through a rap, the other two went crazy.

It was a hell of a show, and Lance commented as much once they’d slumped back in their seats, voices dead and energy palpable.

“We should do this more often.”

“Only if you pay for my gas.” Pidge griped, rubbing at her throat.

---

They made it within 45 minutes instead of the assumed hour, despite the strange influx of traffic. And the beach was surprisingly empty, despite it being a weekend.

Lance just tugged a bundle of beach towels over his shoulders and raced off into the sand. “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth!”

Hunk and Pidge shared a look, but they followed suit. Hunk grabbed the cooler, and Pidge grabbed the umbrella and backpack.

It was only about midday, but it was the perfect time to snack and sunbathe.

---

Lance had already flipped out of his clothes, revealing his bathing suit underneath.

“You’ve been wearing that the entire time??” Pidge’s eyebrows shot up beneath her bangs as she pulled her short hair into a tiny ponytail. “Wasn’t it uncomfortable?”

“Nah, it was just like plastic boxers.”

Pidge grimaced, but decided not to comment. Instead, she pulled her bag over her shoulder and left to look for somewhere to change.

Hunk had not brought a swimsuit (since he didn’t really have prior warning). But he didn’t really mind, since he didn’t plan on swimming much anyway. He always preferred building sandcastles to riding waves, anyway.

Lance, however, was probably born for the ocean. It showed, when he dove in and reappeared like a million miles away from where he started in the span of three seconds. Hunk shot him a thumbs-up as he began to fill in a moat for his sand-tower.

There was a quiet peacefulness between them for a long while. Mostly because they couldn’t really talk while Lance was neck-deep in the water, and Hunk shoulder deep in sand. But it was good. Relaxing.

Er, rather… it was, until Pidge rushed back to Hunk on the beach, flipping the beach towel from underneath him and nearly crumbling his sandcastle.

“Woah, woah. See a ghost, Pidge?”

“We have to go now.” She shrieked, face aflame. Hunk shot up, reaching out to place a worried hand on her shoulder.

“What happened?”

Pidge mumbled something into her hands as Lance dashed to meet them, saltwater dripping from him in every direction.

“What’s going on?”

Hunk shrugged. “Something happened to Pidge.”

She made a frustrated noise and covered her eyes. “I can’t believe I didn’t research this.”

Lance and Hunk shot each other a frightened look. “Research what, Pidgeon?” Lance spoke up.

“This is, uh…” Pidge couldn’t seem to stop fidgeting. “A nude beach. As in… full-on… penile action.”

“Oh.” The two pulled back. “Ohh…”

Pidge looked absolutely mortified, and Lance couldn’t stop himself from laughing at her misery. “Aw, Pidge! I already knew this was a nude beach!”

“You what.” Hunk deadpanned.

“Yeah, dude. This part isn’t really used, but yeah. It’s technically all a nude beach.”

Pidge shouted indignantly as she began to slap his arm with her tote bag. “You didn’t think to tell us that?”

“Ow.” Lance whined, hiding behind Hunk, who had honestly given up on them already. “Sorry, Piggy Wiggy. I forgot.”

“Tell that to my retinas. I’ll never unsee that taint.”

Hunk made a disgusted noise at the back of his throat.

---

Despite the… slight disruption, the trio did end up having the time of their lives. Lance was 100% correct when he said that the part of the beach they were on wasn’t used. Throughout the entire five or so hours they loitered around, they saw maybe five other people tops.

Hunk and Pidge joined forces to create the grandaddy of all sandcastles. Complete with a miniature dragon that circled a tower. Pidge mostly did the structural engineering, but Hunk did the design.

Once Lance had had enough of tiny fish swimming up his trunks, he let out a low whistle as he took in the sight.

“Remind me to bring you guys in when Keith needs help with his art projects. This is amazing.”

Hunk grinned. “Thanks. I’m probably never gonna get sand from under my nails, though.”

Pidge put the finishing touch on the bridge over their moat and stood with a victorious dusting off of her hands. “Worth it.”

It truly was, though. Four identical towers (with one dragon) circled a large castle that tapered at the top. The moat took most of the eye, and was in a flowing, intricate design that probably should have been researched by professionals with how smoothly it stuck together.

“Looks like a spaceship, though.”

“A space-castle.” Hunk amended. “Sounds like a dream to me.”

Pidge turned up her nose. “Sounds like a hassle to clean. Who knows what kind of gunk gets stuck in a “space-castle” engine. And where does the waste go?”

“Hush, hush.” Lance checked an imaginary watch on his wrist. “We have to get going, so pack up your bags, little children. We’re already gonna get stuck in traffic.”

Pidge snapped a picture of their piece of art, and Lance instantly struck a pose behind it. Then, she took a few more of all three of them together, if only for Lance to post on his social media.

“Rest in pieces, space-sandcastle.” Pidge mourned, before shoving her foot directly through the middle of it. Hunk clutched his heart dramatically, and Lance clapped his hands together, holding them up to his mouth.

“It lived well.”

“May it find peace.”

---

“Did you have fun, though? Birthday boy? Light of my life? Hunky-hunkster?”

Hunk grinned, stretching his arms above his head before he closed the car door. “I did. A lot.”

Lance let out a cheer that Pidge weakly mimicked from her sprawled out position. She’d taken shotgun this time, and her feet were smudging the windshield as she spread them across the dashboard.

“I really appreciate it, you guys.” Hunk shyly spoke up, “I know we didn’t do much but… It means a lot that you spent all day with me.”

“Ohoh, Hunk… don’t think this is the end of it. We have a whole dinner-show combo planned out!” Lance reached up to hook his arm around Hunk’s shoulders. “We may have finagled the dining hall for private use for an hour or so.”

“You did not.”

“Never question what Pidge can achieve.” Lance said sagely, and Pidge shrugged as she nodded along with him. Hunk was inclined to agree.

“Wait, so…”

“Yep! Prepare your butt, birthday boy. The activities have only just begun!” Lance dropped back into his seat. “So, let’s hit the road! I convinced Shiro to put on a malo and do that dance you taught us a while ago.”

Hunk probably would have choked if he’d been drinking something.

“There is no way. Shiro??”

Lance grinned, and Pidge snickered at him.

“Guess you’ll just have to see, yeah?”

Hunk shook his head. “I have the most amazing friends in the world.” Seriously. Hunk probably would have started to cry, if he wasn’t trying to focus on the road.

His two best friends shared a meaningful look, and they winked.

“And don’t you forget it!”

Mission accomplished.

#hunk #lance #pidge #voltron #garrison trio #voltron legendary defender #vld #happy birthday #my favorite paladin <3 #jam writes #long post

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booksbroadwaybbc · 6 years

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How I Escaped My Mental Prison: 5 Habits That Changed My Life via /r/selfimprovement

How I Escaped My Mental Prison: 5 Habits That Changed My Life

“You will never change your life until you change something you do daily” ~ Mike Murdock

Think about this. You are the product of what you repeatedly do. Each small action is telling of who you are.

Consistent small action over time develops into a habit. Habits can MAKE or BREAK you. This means you need to be aware of everything you do. If you put thought and intent into your actions, you can develop good habits that will put you on the path to success.

I know this is true because I experienced both the good and bad sides of habits.

I used to be weak and pathetic. I was unable to handle stress - with my mind and body working against me. I thought it would magically change one day. That I would wake up and everything would be better. After years of thinking like this, I learned the hard truth. It was not going to change unless I made it change. It took time and effort, but I learned how habits could make or break success. After trial and error, I have developed habits that work best for where I want to go in life.

My misfortune was the result of falling into bad habits. Without consciously being aware, my mind programmed itself to crave poor performance and ill health. My biggest problem was the tunnel vision that came with it. For the longest time, I was not aware of the mental prison I subconsciously built by adopting bad habits.

Below you will find 5 habits that made great change in my life. The results I have gotten in adopting these habits would seem unachievable to my former self.

These 5 habits are:

Consistent Sleep Schedule

Outline Daily Goals

Eliminate Escapism

Dedicate Time to Personal Growth

Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Each habit is outlined with a 3 step approach.

Problem: This is how I was living my life. A description of the troubles and pains I experienced without any structure and discipline in my life.

Motivation: This is a general outline of what the habit is and why you should adopt it.

Result: This is a testimonial of how my life changed as a result of adopting the habit.

1. Consistent Sleep Schedule

Problem: In the past, I was an anxious, fidgety mess. I would bite my fingernails, bounce my knees up and down, and was unable to sit still in lectures. My mind was foggy and I never had energy to do anything. Mentally, I was incoherent and dull. Mornings were the most difficult part of the day for me - with falling asleep being the second. Some days I had so little sleep that I started to lose my mind. So much so, that I tried to develop an online persona of being INSANE(What the f*ck!?). That’s right! This was a BIG problem! My lack of sleep was starting to negatively affect my subconscious mind.

Motivation: In order to perform your very best, you need to be well rested. There is no substitute for good rest. You want to aim for 6 hours and 30 minutes to 8 hours of rest every night. This is the general amount of recommended sleep for adults. You may require more, so it is best to experiment. I am no expert on the intricacies of sleep; however I know your mind rests in 90 minute cycles. You want to set your sleep schedule to align with a whole-number of sleep cycles. If you wake up in the middle of a cycle, you will feel very drowsy - making it much more difficult to get out of bed.

Most importantly, you need to be consistent with your bedtime. In time, your mind will adapt to this time. On the first day, you may find it difficult to fall asleep. But, a few weeks from now, you will naturally be tired at bedtime.

Result: My quality of life greatly increased. With enough rest, I had energy to handle so much more. My patience and tolerance grew substantially. Without any thought, I was able to keep still. I no longer dreaded remaining in the same position for 2 hour lectures or 6 to 8 hour work shifts.

Here’s an example of my previous thought process:

I will sleep after one more game of Left 4 Dead. [finishes game Maybe one more? Yeah, I can skip my morning routine to add in another game and still get 8 hours of sleep.

This type of sleep “schedule” was as consistent as picking a spot on the wall, closing your eyes, and landing a dart on that spot after being spun around before each attempt.

On the contrary, by having a set bedtime, I felt accountable to be ready for bed 30 minutes before sleeping. As a result of a consistent schedule, I had more time to function each day, because sleeping was no longer a guessing game. This improved my time management and allowed for me to accomplish more in a single day.

I chose to go the extra mile. I wake up at 4:30 AM everyday. The mornings are for getting ahead. Waking up early has given me more time to focus on developing myself. Because, after I go to work or school, I am drained of my energy. But, by being awake early in the morning, I am able to focus all my energy on building myself.

My mornings are for: going to the gym, writing posts like this, meal prepping, and reading.

This is the thought process that drives my sleeping habit:

Do not devote all your energy to building someone else’s dream. Devote your energy to building YOUR dream.

2. Outline Daily Goals

Problem: When I tried to be productive with my time, I always felt a burden of “how much is enough?”. I was unsure as to how many things I should do in one day or how much time I should devote to each task. This often left me lying in bed unable to sleep because I felt dissatisfied with my efforts.

Motivation: You can only do so much in one day. Without a definite plan, you will likely go through the day either aimlessly or not optimally productive.

Remember: Time is a precious resource. You only get 24 hours in a day. It is in your best interest to make the most of each moment.

Statistically speaking, you are more likely to meet a goal if you write it down. If you want to achieve something every day, you need to outline your day.

Result: At first, I started with college-ruled loose leaf paper. I bulleted tasks such as: gym: leg day, physics homework, 3 meals and 2 snacks(for mass gaining), meet dad for lunch, and so on. After completing a task, I felt an immense amount of satisfaction checking it off the list. Not only did this help me organize my efforts, but it gave me a measurable feeling of accomplishment. With completing a day’s worth of tasks, I would retire to bed without the anxiety of underachieving. Having escaped this anxiety, I felt I had more time to enjoy my life. Where I was previously rushing my workout to get home and do homework, I was now stopping to enjoy a conversation with friends at the gym because I knew I had the time.

As I grew more sophisticated in my outlining, I bought a Bullet Journal. This is a useful tool for determining if a task is worth your time. I use this more for advanced planning. That is: being overwhelmed with tasks and having to determine what is really worth my time. It helps you prioritize tasks. You should totally Google it!

Pro Tip: Outline your day the night before, so you can wake up with your goals for the day already in mind.

3. Eliminate Escapism

Problem: I spent more energy in video games than I did anything else. I would spend entire days playing video games. If I was not gaming, I was watching YouTube videos. The fact of the matter: I was wasting my time. My grades were not too awful; however, these distractions were not helping them. I had little motivation to do anything more than play video games. I actually viewed it as a purpose in life. While I will touch more on this in the motivation section, my video game friends viewed me as the leader of the group. As such, I felt an obligation to these friends. I saw it as a duty to be the best. This evolved into a cult of personality. My friends viewed me as an unstoppable, infallible force to be reckoned with. They wanted to be just like me, which inflated my ego.

The game I drained countless hours into was Left 4 Dead 2 from 2009.

When asking myself why I was so addicted to this game, I found four answers.

Simulation of Competition: My friends and I would queue up and play against other teams. We played to win. Though the game is almost 10 years old, we took the game VERY seriously. So much so, that we would be very nasty toward new players.

Simulation of Friends: The guys I played with had similar interests to me - something I could not find in real life. We were in similar life situations. The most important detail is: we had mutual music interests. Pink Floyd, Alice in Chains, Nirvana, Jimi Hendrix. We were more interested in depressing music(Pink Floyd).

Simulation of Skills: I was acclaimed to be one of the best players around. I had been playing this game since its release in 2009. I felt that I put so much time into the game, I should not squander my skills by quitting. On the contrary, I had few real world skills. This was one of few places I felt I offered value to someone

Simulation of Adventure: For many, it feels like everything has already been done. The world has been explored and there is not much for one to discover. A man was already to the moon. Just about any useful form of technology has already been invented(and you would need millions, if not billions, to compete in that market). And, there is no more originality in creativity

. Without much more thought, I decided to give up on real-world motivations. I had this interesting video game world that offered me new, exciting experiences for hours on end!

Motivation: Video games KILL your motivation! But, it is not video games alone that do this.

Social media, TV & movies, and drugs & alcohol can all have have the same effects if they are indulged in too often.

These are forms of escapism. They offer the user a substitute for experiences they are lacking in real life.

Here is how each form of escapism acts as a substitute:

Video Games: Video games offer the player adventure and excitement. The most popular of video games such as Fortnite are enjoyed by groups of friends who compete with other groups of friends. This simulates group-oriented conflict. I believe conflict to be especially important in the bonding of men. They suffer together. They grow together. I believe this is why video games are mostly played by men.

Social Media: Social media offers the user access to all the people they know at a click of a button. This works well for people who want to connect but are uncomfortable to meet in person. They can hide behind the image of their Facebook profile and have discrete conversations with friends. This makes it especially easy for those who are insecure to hide behind ambiguous text and lack of emotional expression in voice and body language which you would get with an in-person conversation.

TV & Movies: TV & Movies are driven through story. While these stories are often fiction, they are written to be emotionally relatable. They give the viewer an emotional experience. These are often emotions that the viewer is lacking in their own lives. For instance, in watching The Wolf of Wall Street, the viewer cannot help but feel the excitement in Jordan Belfort’s claim to wealth and power. This type of lifestyle is especially coveted by young men between the ages of 20 to 35 - the movie’s target audience. Surely, if the viewer were as wealthy and as powerful as Jordan, they would be spending their money on huge parties instead of watching that movie.

Drugs & Alcohol: Substance abuse usually stems from the inability to cope with certain emotions. For instance, alcohol, colloquially known as “liquid courage”, suppresses anxiety, giving the user courage(ignorance of anxiety) they previously did not have. While the user does not forget about their troubles, they no longer feel the negative emotions associated with them.

Result: It was difficult to believe video games were ruining my life. I experienced feelings similar to that of one with stockholm syndrome. I wanted to leave, but at the same time I enjoyed comfort in my virtual captor. Breaking free was painful, but worth it.

When I became aware of why I was addicted, I found my problem easier to fix. I attacked each contributing factor individually.

Competition: I learned to compete with myself(such as developing these 5 habits). This gave me the drive to win over myself. These were real-world victories that made real-world change in my life. There was no longer a virtual abstraction that made my efforts realistically pointless.

Friends: As I developed who I was and what I wanted in life, I naturally began to attract similar minded people with my words and actions. This has turned into a mastermind group of people guiding each other to greater success. It is important to note that there is NO leader. Before, my ego was in love with the idea of being the leader. Video games were so narrow in the skills required to compete, one could master them and be the elite. But, in the real world, there is so much to know and understand, you would be stupid to think you can master it all by yourself. You need high quality friends that not only offer experience and fun, but that also offer you an opportunity to grow.

Skills: Having established a group of friends whom I grow with, I began to specialize in skills that offered them greater value. I have friends who are knowledgeable on fitness, business, and finance. In turn, I found a liking for media and entertainment. I spent about a year consuming as much information as possible on how media is designed and how I can make my own. With this knowledge, I gave my friends insight on how they can market their businesses and themselves.

Adventure: I learned to enjoy the journey of life. I began to enjoy simple trips to the grocery store. A walk through a park. Or, a conversation with friends. Each day became a new adventure full of new people to meet and new things to learn.

4. Dedicate Time to Personal Growth

Problem: Once I eliminated escapist habits, I needed something to fill my time with. Video games were taking 6 to 8 hours of my time each day. This time needed to be repurposed. I wanted to be a better version of myself but I was not sure as to how. Where do I start?

Motivation: Your thoughts are where change begins. You must consistently feed your thoughts new perspectives in order to grow. New perspective is a seed that can be planted in your mind. It germinates in your thoughts and experiences, and blossoms into a greater understanding of yourself.

There are multiple sources of new perspective. Here are what I have found to be most useful:

Books / audiobooks

TED Talks

Podcasts

Conversations (especially with new people)

Result: I believe dedicating time to personal growth was the best thing I could do. I viewed each new idea as a tool to be added to a mental toolkit.

For instance, after learning about habits and how they work in the mind, I have become more aware of how I can maintain good habits.

Here is what I learned:

By giving into a bad habit, your mind releases dopamine which reinforces that action - further ingraining that behavior into the subconscious mind. This makes it more difficult to break the habit. But, by replacing a bad habit with a good one, your brain develops neurological systems that mute it and promote the good habit. While the good habit can grow to be stronger than the bad, it must be maintained through consistent action*, or else the mind will retrogress back to the bad.*

Knowledge such as this has made me more effective in maintaining the 5 habits spoken about in this post.

5. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Problem: This was my biggest problem in high school. Majority of my peers were on a school team. They were strong, fit, and healthy. I was the tall, skinny guy with acne. I felt my scrawny frame paled in comparison to the testosterone pumping physiques of the football players. This is where I began to hate my physical appearance. My voice was too high pitched. My legs were too skinny. And, . . .my hair was just . . . wtf I had no idea how to style it.

Needless to say, I had no self-confidence or self-esteem. The most I had going for me was academics, but even there I felt I was inferior.

I was the designated Math and Science nerd. I always carried my Calculus and Physics books with me and I enjoyed tutoring others during study halls. I genuinely helped others get As. It was an amazing feeling to help others achieve their own successes!

But, the sensation would not last for long because I felt I was failing in my own studies. This was due to competition with another classmate.

In my Calculus class, there was a guy who did not try at all and performed MUCH better than me. While I was at home studying hard for a test, he was goofing off, getting high with his cousin. He put barely any effort in and did better than me. This boiled my blood. But, I did not let it get the best of me. Instead, I started to study with him. Although he was goofing off, he still put an amount of effort in - though minimal as it was. I saw this as an opportunity to learn something new.

But, in the end, I got a B and he got an A. I was devastated. Of what esteem I had, it was destroyed. I would tell myself: “It’s not fair!”.

But, out of this misery, I learned a valuable lesson. I will tell you about it in the result section.

Motivation: You cannot compare yourself to others! Everyone has different experiences, culture, perceptions, perspectives, and so on! It is apples and oranges!

“Don’t compare your Chapter 1 to someone else’s Chapter 20”. You and I, we are in different places in life. There is no universal solution to everyone’s problems. You must look inward to find your solutions. Use this as an opportunity to challenge yourself! Evaluate your current situation and challenge yourself to be better.

It is important to note that there is a difference in learning from others and comparing yourself to them. When dealing with my academic problem, I decided to see what I could learn from the guy in my Calculus class. This proved to be fruitful in the long run.

When you are stuck, maybe you are missing part of the puzzle - something your mind is not aware of. Inspiration helps to solve this problem. Look at those who have succeeded in your area of struggle. Take the time to understand their thought processes and habits.

I guarantee you: your biggest struggle is in your mind.

Result: Before I knew it, my life was completely different.

Physically, I have become an avid gym goer. I do full body workouts 3 times a week. I have done the research and designed a meal plan that suits my hard-gainer body type. In the past ten months, I gained 20 lbs of muscle.

Academically, I have maintained a 4.0 in college. This is something I swore I would maintain without fail. I am in competition with my high school academics. Where I got a 3.98, 0.02 shy of a 4.0, I will get a perfect GPA in a more difficult curriculum.

Reflecting back on studying with the guy in my Calculus class, I learned to work smart not hard. He was able to condense my 8 hours of studying into about 30 minutes of effort by being smart. His biggest crutch was his connections. He was friends with people who took the class the year before. They gave him old tests, which he used to study. The tests had the same exact questions just different numbers! He had such an advantage!

This inspired me to be more social - which rings true to the idea of: “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know”. In college, I found friends who specialized each in particular subjects. For instance, if I needed help with a math problem, I would ask my friend who is a math major. I created a mastermind group for college subjects. This worked best because I understood I cannot be a jack of all trades - something I aspired to be when I compared myself to others.

Conclusion

Much of your misfortune may be linked to a subconscious habit. You could be driving yourself to failure without even knowing!

Your mind develops habits as a result of energy efficiency. A new experience overwhelms your mind with new sensory stimulations. But, as this experience becomes common place, your mind develops shortcuts, requiring less energy to perform the same operations.

This is where discipline comes in. In order to develop a new habit, you must discipline yourself to perform it. It is mentally difficult in the beginning. But, as you do it more and more, your mind adapts. You will be able to perform the same action with a fraction of the effort!

Discipline yourself today, so your mind will discipline you tomorrow.

##########

Dear reader,

As I mentioned in the beginning, these are the habits that were effective in my life. But, I am interested in learning more.

So, I ask you, do you have any habits you found to improve your life that were not mentioned above?

If so, please, leave a comment outlining the habit similarly to how I outlined mine with the Problem, Motivation, Resultapproach.

Best,

Ganamede

Submitted August 03, 2018 at 05:44PM by gandamede via reddit https://ift.tt/2KkpG5H

#IFTTT #reddit

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