#random creative energy

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #97

I had a sudden urge to create things today.

First, I arranged the amethyst-on-copper tree in a silicone sphere mold with some pebbles and some glitter. And then I filled the sphere mold with epoxy:

…I'm thinking about trying to sell this one, once it's ready. It'll still be a while though, because it's still gonna need like 48 hours to cure, and then I gotta sand it, and then reapply another layer of epoxy to remove any blemishes or any irregularities in the shape, sand it again, and then apply UV-resistant coating.

It's about 7 hours just to weave the tree, from cutting the wire to adjusting it to its final shape. It takes time to arrange it in the silicone sphere mold. It takes time to mix and pour the epoxy. Takes time for it to cure. Takes time to sand it, to re-epoxy it, sand it again, and then coat it with the UV spray. Between the hours and the cost of materials, it'll be easily a $300 orb, at least.

…But I don't really like that. That's a lot for a random orb, and mostly I make them because I like making them. So I'll do something like, "You can take it for however much you think it's worth." Or something to that effect. I'm very well aware that someone might come at me being all like, "Hurr hurr… then I'll give ya a penny for it, lolzzzz!!" And… well. Ya know. If they're that bitter and snarky about it, if they need to try to make me feel small and stupid in order to feel better about themselves, then at that point, they can just have it; maybe a spot of kindness might do 'em some good in the long run.

Anyway, after that, I finally got around to filling a much smaller sphere mold with epoxy. In this mold, I put a very tiny tree that I made of wire and red beads, some sand, and a little red glitter:

Finally, I finished weaving yet another tree. This one is peridot and strawberry quartz on bronze wire:

…I'm not really sure what else to write today.

Can't help but wonder what you're up to, over at the Edge of Creation. Wonder if you have enough to eat. Wonder if you're warm and safe. Wonder if you're trying to expand your horizons by listening to the memories and stories of other people. There's so much about your circumstances that I wish I knew.

…I wish, too, that there was anything I could do to help show you that there's more to this world than pain, loneliness, and despair. But all I've got are my silly little letters, my various derpy handicrafts, my weird little playlists, my random tasty snacks, and whatever photos I can take along the way. I think of you, and I think of all the suffering you're going through, and I feel… powerless. I wish that there was any way that my voice could reach you, even though mine is maybe not much of one.

I know you can't answer me, but I'll ask anyway: Do you listen to music while you're over at the Edge of Creation, sometimes? If so, what fills your ears? This is filling my ears today:

If you can hear me (I know, I know…), maybe someday you'll send something back that lets me know some of the sounds that fill your mind and heart. Wouldn't that be neat?

I finished a tree today, and so the post-creation emptiness is starting to set in. The despair that is knowing that you'll likely never receive any of what I've written to you is starting to set in. The crushing reality that I'll likely need to watch you be slain a second time is starting to set in. So maybe I'll Salt some Sanctuaries for a while until it passes. If you've got the time or the inclination, you're welcome to chill with me over here; if you can hear me… I'll be in that space soon, running with scissors in a terrifying world, snapping zombies in half:

…Maybe you'll be proud to know that since my last Twitch session, I've started talking, because I've stopped being afraid of catching abuse for playing video games while being AFAB; it's not as though they can hit me harder than my stepmother used to, right? And I'm still here, so maybe I don't have to be afraid.

…Please learn and grow and change, too, okay? Please keep yourself safe, and please do things that are gentle and kind.

I'm gonna keep wishing for your safety even though it might not work out. I'm gonna keep calling to you even though it might not work out. So look forward to tomorrow's letter, okay?

Your friend, Lumine

[jemrising]

Epsilon - A spirit of coalesced memories and emotions

[fisherrprince]

follow up sillies

[isfjmel-phleg]

I have so many things in drafts right now. So many stories to read--and I do want to read and comment on all of them! So many things to write--I am going to complete the Chesterton Challenge, but I'm going to do it in June because May demanded too much of me to write then. So many analyses to finish--I am never out of comicsposting thoughts. But tonight I am very tired on a lot of levels. All of my social obligations for the rest of the week canceled themselves (thank goodness, although it did mean that I walked to the grocery store in the hot sun after work for sort of no reason now), and I need some time to recover. I'm going to read in peace and quiet tonight. It sounds nice. You will get posts of some sort of description from this blog eventually. Just...thank you for being patient with me at the moment.

[feral-harvest]

I radiate 𝔢𝔫𝔢𝔪𝔶 𝔢𝔫𝔢𝔯𝔤𝔶 at the university  dressed all in black  across the courtyard, distract well read so dead in the eyes academia  you're in for a hell of a night. 

-Carolina Outcrop

[starlitangels]

Across all my major works on AO3... my word count has passed 600,000

570k of that is my Redacted stuff...

Wow

[unironicallycringe]

*(quietly passes you this at a clandestine and previously agreed upon drop-off point before disappearing)*

I think I'll do this again at a normal human hour today. something like uh. afternoon/PST. instead of. ass in the morning 😇

[unhinged-nymph]

Here’s some random RandL screenshots from the last week that I found in my phone 😁🤓

[rayslittlekitten]

Me: I should sleep.

My body: NO SLEEP! ONLY WRITE!

[timbrrwolfe]

It's Superbowl season again which means I need to decide if I'm gonna figure out how to watch the game live or just wait to watch the highlights.

Or not watch it at all.

[rafeandonlyrafe]

send me a 🎧 and ill shuffle my liked songs and spotify and write a short drabble based on the lyrics

[serenehells]

Not really relating to much, but I have found I really love fucking with my friends like if they tell me not to do something is just go like "No : )" That little like emotion that it conveys is just utter gremlin energy to me that >:3 just doesn't

[shadesofblades]

Home (Play)

(Tiny writing of Baatu with Zansei @midnightmagicks in their new home. Written based off the word “play”.)

It was already early morning. And while he should have been sleeping, he found himself awakened by his own dreams. Every soul was sleeping, all but him now. 

The mixed Xaela slowly blinked open his eyes. Adjusted to the darkness, he could faintly see the silhouettes of furniture and walls. “Home,” he thought with a smile. 

Just then, the bed shifted slightly and he turned to see. His husband laid next to him deep in a dream. Baatu smiled once again. 

“Home.”

He too adjusted in bed, turning to his side and wrapping an arm over his lover. Thick fingers ran through Zansei’s long silky hair, playing with it delicately. His eyes couldn’t stay open as he slowly lulled back into a slumber. 

[casual-eumetazoa]

I’m re-reading the 25k-ish words that I’ve written for FrankensteinWIP so far and man, it’s been so long since I actually enjoyed reading back my own text. It’s not the kind of literary prose I wish I could do, but it’s so distinctnly mine, and this book in general is such a self-indulgent project, it makes me happy just to work on it. 

On the other hand, I’m realizing more and more that I can’t juggle PhD school, youtube, and writing all at the same time. And logically I should prioritize youtube over writing because it has at least some sort of potential to become my full time job, but it hurts so much to post these videos that I spend months on and get like, a couple hundred views and 10 comments. So I would much rather focus on novels, but it makes me feel guilty. I feel like I haven’t had any sort of success with youtube yet because I don’t try hard enough, don’t post often enough, etc etc.

Doing the PhD is great because my workload is not insane, I get paid pretty well, and I love the people at my institute. I do have to manage my energy levels incredibly well and I end up burn out every few months anyway, but I make it work. Still, eventually I will graduate and will need to get a real job... and I don’t know if I can do it. Like, I don’t know if I will be able to hold a full-time post-doc position, especially a tenure track one. Especially if my chronic illnesses will keep detereorating. 

I’m hoping that after I graduate I will be able to scrape enough science writing and tutoring hours together to work part-time from home, and have time for youtube and writing. Doesn’t look very achievable now cause any freelance like this requires self-promo, and it seems like I really suck at it. But a boy can dream I guess.

[thebean-17]

instead of sleeping like a normal person, I somehow have the creative inspiration and drive to create myself a custom deck. What the fuck.

[theshenanijiang]

Cut my bangs and gave myself a trim and.... it's giving Pollyanna vibes. Which isn't exactly what I was going for. But I can rock it while healthy hair grows.